© 2005 Hayley Maxwell & Cathryn S. Overall.

Revised 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010

© 2011 Revised by Mike Loughlin with Jennifer Metcalfe & Sophia Butt
nd
© 2012 2 edition Hayley Maxwell, Cathryn S. Overall & Mike Loughlin
© 2013 Revised by Mike Loughlin

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,
or transmitted by any form or means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or
otherwise, without the prior permission of the copyright holders.

Ed.2/0312

University of Birmingham, English for International Students Unit

Printed and bound by Creative Media, University of Birmingham.

Tel: 0121 414 6684

Edited
BUSINESS MANAGEMENT ENGLISH (BME) & formatted
PRESESSIONAL by Hasan Shikoh 1
 BME ACADEMIC WRITING GUIDE 2013

Contents

1. INTRODUCTION TO THE BME ACADEMIC WRITING GUIDE ..................................... 4

2. THE IMPORTANCE OF READING EFFECTIVELY ........................................................ 5

3. UNDERSTANDING YOUR ACADEMIC WRITING OBJECTIVES ................................. 8

3.1 What is Effective Writing? ........................................................................................ 8
3.2 Understanding the Task ........................................................................................ 10

4. WRITING YOUR ESSAY ............................................................................................... 13

4.1 Establishing a Focus.............................................................................................. 14
4.2 Writing an Outline: .................................................................................................... 17
4.2 Understanding Genre ............................................................................................ 22
4.3 Writing a Good Introduction ................................................................................... 25
4.4 Structuring the Body of the Essay ......................................................................... 29
4.5 Academic Style ...................................................................................................... 32
4.6 Giving Opinions & Expressing Attitude .................................................................. 32
4.7 Formal & Informal Register .................................................................................... 35
4.8 Using Academic Caution ....................................................................................... 42
4.9 Conclusions ........................................................................................................... 46

5. USING THE LITERATURE IN YOUR WRITING ........................................................... 50

5.1 Writing a Literature Review ................................................................................... 51
5.2 Typical Essay Structure ......................................................................................... 53
5.3 Purposes & Organisation of the Lliterature Rreview ............................................. 54
5.4 Using the Literature to Support your Ideas in the Rest of your Essay .................. 59
5.5 Producing a Paraphrase ........................................................................................ 64
5.6 Reading & Note-taking Strategies ......................................................................... 72
5.7 Analysis & Synthesis ............................................................................................. 76
5.8 Critical Reading ..................................................................................................... 80
5.9 Recording your Sources ........................................................................................ 80
5.10 Recording Bibliographic Data ................................................................................ 81
5.11 Practice Review of Using Harvard System ............................................................ 82
5.12 Reporting Verbs ..................................................................................................... 88

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6. PUNCTUATION ............................................................................................................. 96
6.1 The Basics ............................................................................................................. 96
6.2 The Rules of Punctuation ...................................................................................... 97
6.3 Other Punctuation Marks ..................................................................................... 100

7. CITING REFERENCES – A SUMMARY ..................................................................... 107

7.1 Harvard Referencing System .............................................................................. 107

8. EDITING & PROOFREADING YOUR WORK ............................................................. 112

8.1 Editing .................................................................................................................. 112
8.2 Proofreading ........................................................................................................ 113
8.3 Correcting a Draft ................................................................................................ 115
8.4 Understanding your Tutor’s Feedback ................................................................ 116

9. EXAMINATION SKILLS .............................................................................................. 118

10. CHECKING AT THE END OF THE EXAM ................................................................. 120

10.1 Appendix 1: Answers ........................................................................................... 125
10.2 Appendix 2: Punctuation Section Reference List ................................................ 145
10.3 Appendix 3: Functional Words & Phrase Attached to the Question .................... 146
10.4 Appendix 4: Symbols Used to Correct Written Work ........................................... 147
10.5 Appendix 5: Symbols Used to Correct Written Work ........................................... 148

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1. Introduction to the BME Academic Writing Guide

Studying on a postgraduate course in Britain will present many new challenges; you may be
returning to study after several years of work and it may also be the first time you have
studied in a British university. The aim of this Guide is to help you devise some strategies for
effective studying and to familiarise you with the types of writing you will need to master for
your intended course of study. You will notice that in this Guide there are tasks for you to
complete.

They have been designed to:

 Help you evaluate your own writing skills
 Show you the skills you will need to develop
 Give you practice in these skills
 Guide you as you write your essay or project

While working through these materials you will have the opportunity to do a variety of writing
tasks such as essays, reports on case studies and a business feasibility report and your tutor
will give you feedback on the way you have done it. We hope you find this process useful in
your future studies.

The structure of academic writing is very different from what you have done previously. This
guide will help you understand these structures as well as how to use your reading in what
you write.

Discussion
Talk with a partner about some of these issues:

I’m worried that I can’t express my ideas as well in English as I can in my own
language.
I think writing in English is different from writing in my own language – here you
have to say the main point first and then explain it. In my country it’s really better to
explain first, and then make your main point at the end.
I don’t know where to start when I’m writing an essay. I read so much before but
then it seems like everything is important.

 What do you think are the criteria for a good essay? Is this different in different cultures?
How can you find out?
 What do you do first, second, third and so on when you write an essay?

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2. The Importance of Reading Effectively

One of the most important differences you will find between undergraduate study and
postgraduate study is the vast amount of reading you will be expected to do for your course. It
can be overwhelming at first for many students. However you do not need to read everything
on the reading lists! This is simply not feasible. What you must decide is what to read and
when. Your Business School tutors will usually indicate this by dividing the reading into:

 Pre-reading – recommended on the course outline

 Essential reading – recommended by tutors in support of the module lecture programme
 Further reading – you have chosen from the module bibliography which will allow you to
go into greater depth in a subject area for essay writing or when you write your dissertation
or project

Remember that good writing depends on good reading. It is how you select the information
from your reading and how you use this to answer the question set, which determines much
of the quality of your work.

Compare your criteria for a good academic essay with the six characteristics of good writing
below, as suggested by Unwin (1990):

Good writing involves the ability to:

 argue for a particular viewpoint
 support an argument with reference to relevant literature and examples
 evaluate different types of evidence
 structure an argument
 answer a specific question
 think independently

Task 1
 Look at the BME Writing Assessment Sheet on the next page, used by tutors when they
evaluate essays. Highlight the comments where the use of reading is evaluated in the
work (Please note: For the purpose of this task, only the first page of the assessment
sheet is presented here; the complete version is available in Appendix 5):

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BME 2013 ASSESSMENT: ASSESSED ESSAY FINAL WRITING EXAM
CONTENT 50%
 Some irrelevances &/or
 Minor irrelevances &/or
GENRE-SPECIFIC  All content is relevant to the misinterpretation of the  Content is largely irrelevant &/or
omissions may be present.
CONTENT assignment. The target reader assignment rubric may be limited. Target reader is
Target reader is generally well
is fully informed. present. Target reader is minimally informed.
informed.
partially informed.
 Limited knowledge, argument &
ideas, indicating that question is
 Knowledge, argument & ideas not fully understood.
are perceptive & relevant,  Knowledge, argument & ideas Alternatively/in addition,
 Knowledge, argument & ideas
showing some original thought. are sufficient, but lack depth. possible inability to handle the
are good.
 Resources used appropriately & Ideas may be strong, but are question linguistically.
 Good use of resources.
comprehensively. marred by linguistic limitations.  Little reference to external
 Some evidence of wider
 Evidence of wider reading.  Some use of resources. sources, &/or over-dependence
reading.
 References correctly &  Background reading indicated. on one source.
ASSESSED ESSAY  References generally well-cited
appropriately cited throughout.  Some references correctly  Little, if any, evidence of wider
& Harvard-compliant with
Correct & comprehensive cited. Reference List is partially reading.
occasional errors.
Harvard-compliant Reference accurate & Harvard-compliant.  Many inaccuracies &/or
 Work may contain unintentional
List.  Work contains unintentional omissions in Reference List,
academic misconduct.
 Work is free from academic academic misconduct. with little or no grasp of the
misconduct. Harvard System.
 Intentional academic
misconduct is evident.
35-50 30-35 20-30 0-20
 Knowledge, argument & ideas
 Limitations in knowledge,
 Knowledge, argument & ideas are sufficient, but lack depth.
 Knowledge, argument & ideas argument & ideas indicate that
FINAL WRITING are perceptive & relevant, Ideas may be strong, but are
are good. the question has not been fully
EXAM showing some original thought. marred by limitations in
understood.
linguistic expression.
35-50 30-35 20-30 0-20
Adapted from: Cambridge English: Advanced Handbook for Teachers 2012, p.25)
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The main elements in the marking scheme that relate to the use of sources appear to be the
following:
 Good understanding of the concepts and theories from the background reading
 Good use of evidence and sources
 Good range of sources

Unacceptable work, however, demonstrates:

 Lack of understanding of the concepts and theories from the background reading
 Little evidence of the required reading
 Narrow range of reading
 Plagiarism or copying from the sources

This means you have to:

 Cover a wide range of reading around your topic area
 Use that knowledge in your thinking and in your argument
 Make reference to the reading in your essay but…

Never just copy from your sources.

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3. Understanding Your Academic Writing Objectives

3.1 What is Effective Writing?

Task 2
Let us begin by examining the points you should think about when producing a piece of
academic writing such as an essay. As a writer, what do you consider in order to write
effectively? Brainstorm with your group and complete the writing circle below. Use the next
page to make notes.

Clear, fluent and effective writing

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Use this page for your notes.

Now turn over the page to compare your completed diagram with ours.

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syntax, sentence task focus audience (reader-

structure etc writer relationship)

task purpose organising,

outlining, editing

appropriateness Clear, fluent and effective writing genre

writer’s process:
cohesion: making drafting, revising
clear relationships
between ideas

register: formality
conventions
coherence: developing
accuracy (grammatical, and supporting ideas
lexical, spelling etc)

Adapted from Slaouti, D. (1999) Advanced Study Skills

3.2 Understanding the Task

Whilst you are studying here on the BME course you will be expected to complete a variety of
written tasks and so it is important that you understand exactly what is required of you.

The aim of this section is to help you understand the requirements of the type of academic
essays you may be asked to produce at the Business School, and also the BME Assessed
Essay. This section provides specific support for your writing and gives guidance on how you
can achieve effective communication of your ideas.

What are the BME essays like?

The Assessed Essay is a component of your coursework, and forms part of your score for
successful completion of the BME course (not for 10-week students). They are usually 2000
words in length. They must be word-processed, using Arial, font size 10 and 1.5-spaced for
ease of reading and marking.

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What is the task purpose?

Essays produced at postgraduate level usually require you to show your understanding of the
theoretical concepts introduced in the module via the lectures, tutorials and your reading.
However, you are also required to consider the practical application of these concepts by
reflecting on your own experience of the business world and an analysis of your context or
country. You will also be asked to show some creative thinking or problem solving. These are
essential skills for business and academic study. Finally you may be asked to provide a
rationale or justification for your suggestions. You have to show you have considered the
limitations of these in a reasoned, critical way. In this way, no two essays are alike as your
experience, context and the application of the theories underpinning practice are unique to
you and your situation.

Task 3
Let us begin by examining some of the types of questions you may be asked to
answer.

Put a straight line under the parts of the question that ask you to show your understanding of
theory and highlight the parts where you are asked to consider or evaluate its practical
application.

1. Which parts of the question present the most difficulty to you? Why do you think this is so?
2. Each essay question makes use of function words that help you understand the task and
the purpose. Circle these words and write them in the box below.

Essay Title Function Words

What is meant by the term employee involvement? Briefly describe
and evaluate the principal methods used in organisations to promote
employee involvement. What contribution do these schemes make to
productivity and employee satisfaction?
Motivation of employees is an important part of any manager’s job.
From your own experience and knowledge of relevant literature,
discuss a) what you think motivates an employee to work well and b)
what steps can be taken by a manager to increase motivation
amongst the workforce.
In the UK, women are still poorly represented at management levels.
Is the situation the same in your country? Discuss in detail the
reasons why you think this is the case and suggest several steps
which could be taken to improve women’s chances of promotion.
Describe the major theories which have been used to explain the
phenomenon of leadership. Evaluate these theories in relation to
relevant literature and business practice.

The most commonly used function words in essay questions are: describe, discuss and
evaluate.

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Task 4
In the space provided below, write a brief definition of these three words and write what the
implications are for you when you write your essay.

means… so in my essay I have to...

Describe

Discuss

Evaluate

There is an explanation of more essay function words in Appendix 5.

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4. Writing your Essay

The structure and proportions of a typical academic essay are shown in the diagram below.
Remember that this is not an exact description and, for example, percentages shown will vary
from assignment to assignment, according to the assignment question and how you choose
to answer it.

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In the previous section, we looked carefully at some of the features of good writing and we
analysed the rubric of essay titles so you can understand what the tutors expect from you.
Now we need to look at how to move from this step to establish a clear focus for your writing
from your understanding and interpretation of the title.

4.1 Establishing a Focus

Once you have analysed the essay question carefully and feel that you have understood what
is required of you, you must establish your focus. This means that you must reflect on the
question, conduct research for evidence and support for your argument, refine your ideas
and then show your analysis through a logical discussion of the issues raised in the question.
Some essay questions can be broken down easily into identifiable chunks; this makes finding
your focus a little easier as you can concentrate on each section one by one. Other essays
give you more freedom to establish your focus through an open interpretation of the question.
These questions usually require significantly more experience and practice in essay writing.

Let us examine another student’s essay to see how she determines the focus for her essay.

Task 5
Read the following extract from Antonella’s essay entitled:

“Annual reports: why should companies disclose financial reports, to whom and what
kind of information should they contain?”

When you have finished answer the questions below:

1. What is the focus of the extract?

2. What is the assumption that she is challenging?
3. How does she present and support her arguments?
4. How do you expect her to continue her essay?

Introduction
This paper attempts to describe the reasons why and to whom, business entities should
disclose financial information. This analysis is particularly applicable to large corporations that
have a significant environmental impact in the context in which they operate, i.e. the social,
economic, natural and human consequences of their actions.

Why Business Entities Should Disclose Financial Information

Several theoretical frameworks have been developed to analyse the motives that lead
companies to use such a high level of resources to produce financial statements for external
users. The increasing complexity of the theories is proportional to the number of dimensions
applied to analyse a corporate entity. Beginning with a single dimension, a company can be
seen as a legal entity in which the directors are responsible for profitably managing the wealth
provided by the shareholders. In other words, there is a clear separation between the control
and ownership of the business; this separation underpins the legal requirement that directors
have to produce a minimum level of information and distribute it to the shareholders who can
then monitor how the business is managed. This approach is well formalised by agency
theory (Gray, 1998).

However, this framework does not help to explain why financial reports produced nowadays
go beyond the legal requirements and are not necessarily addressed to shareholders.
Accountability theory (Gray, 1992) draws our attention to the additional dimensions of a

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business entity. Simplified, this means that according to this framework, businesses are not
simply legal entities but represent an active component of society. This is evident when
examining large corporations whose decisions can have a great impact on groups that are not
necessarily the shareholders. This is a more realistic perspective from which we can analyse
the reasons why companies are required to disclose financial reports. This marks a
conceptual change from the paradigm of accounting applied to financial reports as a
discipline, “to provide numbers and bottom lines” (Boyce 1999; 56) to situating this
information in its socio-economic context.

In this context, a continuous exchange of resources can be observed at different levels of

analysis; for example: customers purchase goods or services, investors inject capital in the
business claiming a return and individuals provide a labour force to receive a salary. This
concept is well described in figure 1 below.

Interdependence of Business and Society (Demers and Wayland 1982: 44)

The members in this interaction are entitled to two different kinds of rights: legal rights and
moral rights (Stanton, 1997: 687). Investors and any other parties towards whom the business
is liable have to a certain extent legal rights to access financial information. In contrast, non-
investor groups assert a moral right to access relevant financial information because of the
consequences that corporate decision making may have on societal welfare. Such
consequences could be for example, environmental pollution and unexpected job losses or
financial crisis due to bad management hidden by lack of or unclear information disclosed in
the financial report.

Historically financial reports have been issued to satisfy the legal requirements. However,
deconstructing the definition of accounting, it can be argued that financial information might
indirectly satisfy the requirements of moral users (Atrill et al, 1999; 42). In the accounting
literature it emerges that the adoption of standard accounting rules and the disclosure of
financial reports underpinned by those rules would lead to a more efficient allocation of
resources. It can therefore be argued that the disclosure of financial information is a
necessary condition for the efficiency of the economy as a whole. Efficiency should then
increase societal wealth. Of course, an increase in the wealth claimed by one of the parties
(either shareholders or stakeholders) may result in a decrease of the resources held by other
parties. The competition for control of resources implies that corporate entities are required to
disclose information to guarantee a sustainable use of the socio-economic wealth shared by
parties claiming legal and moral rights. Financial reports are one of the means by which such
information is conveyed.

Our thanks to Antonella Rossi, BME student, for permission to use this section of her essay.

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Some Reflections on Antonella’s Essay:

 Antonella has chosen to contrast the narrow view that accountancy serves to provide us
with financial information, which is relevant to the shareholders, with the broader view that
it must also serve other stakeholders as the company’s financial state may have a much
wider impact on society and the environment.

 Antonella discusses the legal and moral requirements of accountancy to provide a fair and
true report of a company’s financial state and shows how society as a whole could benefit
from this.

 Antonella finally discusses the implications of increased wealth for some on those
companies who lose out in the face of competition. She asserts that accountancy has a
role to play in disclosing financial information accurately as only then can companies
compete for wealth in a sustainable manner.

 Antonella has focused on the reasons why companies need to disclose financial
information to the public and has supported her argument with evidence from her reading.
Her understanding of the literature relating to the essay question is well demonstrated in
her interpretation of the question.

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4.2 Writing an Outline:

Introduction
Background _________________________
General statement followed by _________________________
Specific statement/definition/examples________________________
Thesis statement/essay plan ________________________________________

Literature Review (see separate section in this Guide)

Main Body
A. Topic sentence __________________________________
1. Supporting point __________________________________
a. Support ___________________________
b. Support ___________________________
2. Supporting point __________________________________
a. Support ___________________________
b. Support ___________________________
c. Transition__________________________
B. Topic sentence __________________________________
1. Supporting point __________________________________
a. Support____________________________
b. Support____________________________
c. Support____________________________
2. Supporting point __________________________________
a. Support____________________________
b. Transition__________________________
C. Topic sentence __________________________________
1. Supporting point __________________________________
a. Support____________________________
b. Support____________________________
2. Supporting point ___________________________________
a. Support____________________________
b. Transition __________________________

Conclusion
Summary of the Main Idea _______________
Rationale_____________________________
Review ______________________________
Final conclusion _______________________

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Note: Support is the evidence you use to support your ideas. It could be an example, fact,
quote, expert opinion, statistics, or an explanation. Remember: You must cite your sources!

Remember too that it is important to show your understanding of the theory when you answer
an essay question but you must aim for a balance between your argument, which you must
provide clearly, and support from the literature. In order to help you structure your ideas and
establish a focus for your reading and writing, it is strongly recommended that you produce an
outline for your essay.

Discussion
Look at the following examples of outlines prepared by students. Talk with a partner and
make a note of the strengths and weaknesses of both.

Source: http://grammarandcompositionwikispaces.com

Source: http://studentzone.roehampton.ac.uk

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Your notes:

Writing an outline will help you to organise your thinking, provide direction for your essay and
help you to systematise your reading needs. It will also be very useful if you need to discuss
your ideas with your tutor before you write your essay, as it will help them to see the general
direction or focus of your work.

Task 6
Reflect on the following essay title about the marketing of organic products in supermarkets:

“Trace the evolution of organic products in the U.K. grocery market. Identify possible
strategies and evaluate whether increases in the sales of organic products in
supermarkets are possible.”

 What are the key function words?

 What direction or focus would you take?
 Write a brief plan of how you might approach this essay question
 Decide what you would need to read in order to answer this question

When you have completed this task, look at the following text to see a student’s outline for
this essay. Then, talk together and answer the question which follows it.

1. Essay Introduction
Thesis: appropriate strategies can produce increases in sales

2. Literature Review
Describe the overall topic, why it is important, and why I am interested in the topic.
Compare and contrast the key theories and ideas of selling organic produce in
supermarkets
What are some next steps for research?

Main Body
3. Background – show development of organic products:
a. Define organic in today’s terms
b. Contrast farming methods today with traditional methods
c. Explain the reason for the popularity of organic produce today
d. Regulation of organic produce – E.U. etc.
e. Government targets for organic farming production
f. Legislation on description of organic goods

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4. Evolution of organic market – describe trends:

a. Consumer awareness of health related benefits of organic foods
b. U.S. research shows market for natural and organic goods had tripled from $6 billion in
1993 to $17 billion in 1998 and will grow to over $30 billion in next 2 years (Wellman,
2000:39)
c. Show purchasing power of organic consumers
d. One third of consumers now shop regularly for organic products – yet still a niche market –
why?
e. Explain pricing strategy in supermarkets for organic products
f. Show how supermarkets can provide information to shoppers about organic goods and
market them successfully – will retain existing customers and attract new ones.

5. Introduce possible strategies:

 Private labels (supermarket own brand) on organic goods
Show advantages of own brands e.g. improve customer loyalty, avoid price comparison
with similar goods, few recognised organic labels, strong brand will mutually benefit
sales, free from product placement restrictions, launch and distribution is cheaper,
leverage economies of scale.

 Increase demand
Show how demand can be increased through the marketing mix (product, price,
placement, promotion), training of personnel, communication strategies and
competitive strategy.

6. Evaluation
a. Predict the success of the strategies within different categories of supermarket.
b. Suggest limitations of the strategy i.e. luxury goods affected by economic downturn etc

Conclusion
Reflect on evolution of organic products and growth of market sector. Show how given the
right market conditions a supermarket can increase sales of organic goods. Provide examples
from supermarket retailers. Finally show how this must be carefully supported by an
integrated strategy.

Bibliography
Gilbert, D. (1999) Retail Marketing Management. London: Prentice Hall.
Howell, D. (2000) ‘Popularity growing for organics’. DSN Retailing Today, 39 (10), pp. 38-39.
Vaczek, D. (2000) ‘The health store within’. Supermarket Business, 55 (9), pp. 91-96.
Wellman, D. (2000) ‘Mother Nature: one hot mama’. Supermarket Business, 35 (3), pp. 39-42.

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What are the strong and weak points of this outline? Make some notes here:

This outline has been based on the student’s general background reading and awareness of
the market. She now needs to focus more closely on each section and examine the literature
and her lecture notes again; she may even change her mind about some of her ideas. What is
important, however, is that she now has a clear direction to follow and a purpose for her
reading. This will help her to tackle the next stage with much more confidence.

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4.2 Understanding Genre

Understanding genre means knowing what type of text you must produce to suit the purpose
of your task.

Task 7
Look at the following short extracts.:
 Identify the text type or genre in each example.
 Compare the vocabulary, use of tense, sentence structure and length, conventions and
purpose.

1. Take two eggs and beat them well together in a one-pint bowl. Add 25 fluid ounces of milk
and a pinch of salt and pepper.

2. Harry woke with a start from his dream. The catch on his bedroom window had worked
loose in the night and a gust of wind had blown in, toppling the glass jar on the windowsill
and sending it crashing to the floor where it broke into tiny pieces. The smiling faces of
his dead parents faded away and the chill of the wind made him shiver.

3. The euro has hit a record high against the dollar, defying recent political squabbles over
the single currency and upbeat US economic data. The euro continued a long upward
run to hit $1.98 in morning trading, up about two thirds of a percent, mainly at the
expense of a weakening dollar.

4. Creative cognition probably involves both motivation and cognition per se. In the model of
the creative process presented by Runco and Chand (1995), a primary tier of cognitive
components includes problem finding, ideation, and evaluation skills, with a secondary
tier of important influences including motivation (both intrinsic and extrinsic) and
information (both factual and procedural or tactical).

It is important to be familiar with the genre of academic essays produced in your field. So we
will now have a look at how one student has fulfilled one of the essay tasks set.

The part of the assignment provided on the next page was written in response to essay
number 3 from Task 3:

“In the UK, women are still poorly represented at management levels. Is the situation the
same in your country? Discuss in detail the reasons why you think this is the case and
suggest several steps which could be taken to improve women’s chances of promotion.”

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Task 8
Read the extract provided below and think about some of its features:

1. What is the aim of this part of the essay? How do you know?
2. What does this part of the essay focus on specifically? How do you know?
3. How has the writer used her reading and research in her essay?
4. Is the writing clear and easy to follow?
5. What improvements would you make?

1. Introduction
Recently women have played a very important role in the society of many countries. The role
of the woman is not only at home with the family but also key in the development of the
country. Many governments have been trying to improve the status of women in their society.
However, women are still poorly represented at management levels in many nations, the U.K.
included. Cole (1996) estimated that women hold less than 5% of senior management posts,
and perhaps some 26% of all senior managerial positions. This is in a situation where they
make up more than 40% of the total workforce. On the other hand, according to Dunkelberg
(1991), women managers/entrepreneurs only dominate in some areas such as education and
service industries where women are employed in a professional capacity.

This essay aims to analyse the similar situation of women in management in Vietnam. The
essay includes three parts. The first introduces the situation of Vietnamese women in
management and the second gives the reasons why this is the case. Some solutions, which
could be taken to improve women’s chances of promotion, will be mentioned in the last part.

2. The Situation of Vietnamese Women in Management

Since 1945 when French colonial rule ended, the Vietnamese government has tried to
improve Vietnamese women’s status, not only in society but also in the family. People came
to understand the concepts “Women’s Rights” and “Women’s Equality”. However, this was
hard work because Vietnam was a feudal nation with more than 80% of its population in
farming. Feudalistic customs had limited women’s abilities and their freedom.

However, the status of women has really changed since the renovation programme was
launched in 1986. As a result, Vietnamese women have played a more important role in
society and business management. Renovation is a programme in which Vietnam has
reformed from a centrally planned economy into a market economy. Vietnam faces many
difficulties in meeting the requirements of the new economy. Consequently, there are many
new opportunities and challenges for women.

Many years ago Vietnamese women were taught to adhere to three basic duties: to obey her
father, to defer to her husband and to follow her son’s opinions. Now they have been liberated
from old ideas that prevented them from developing their capacities and desires. They have
opportunities to get higher salaries, more education and it is easier for them to find good jobs
in the new market economy. Young women take up these chances and they have more
options. They are much more dynamic than their mothers’ generation.

Women have been encouraged to take part in social activities, operating businesses and
even enter into Parliament. For example in the Foreign Trade University of Vietnam, 60% of
the workforce are women. The Rector is also a woman. She is also a member of the 100 best
delegates of the Vietnamese women’s Union. In the university, women hold a lot of middle
management positions such as Head of Training Department, Foreign Language Department
Information Centre, Chair of the Trade Union. They have become successful in running the
University.

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Nevertheless, in general, the rate of Vietnamese women at management level is very low.
This is illustrated by the following figures, which compare female employment rates with other
countries in Asia:

Administrators & Professional &

Countries
Managers, 1995 Technical, 1995
China 13% female 42% female

Japan 9% 48%

Vietnam 2% 20%

Source: UNDP Human Development Report, 1996

The traditional female areas of employment are however, teaching, nursing, services and
social work where women are employed in a professional capacity. As stated in a Vietnam
Development Report (NGO Partnership Groups 2000), 90% of women entrepreneurs operate
service businesses, only 7% engage in manufacturing and only 3% in financial businesses. In
industry women are usually stopped at middle management positions.

3. The Reasons Why Women are Marginalized at Management Levels

Women’s lack of management skills
Women are marginalized in decision-making and leadership by a variety of processes that
begin in infancy. In most societies, women lack experience in decision-making and leadership
in public areas because girls, in contrast to boys, are socialised to play passive roles and are
given little opportunity to make decisions or develop leadership skills outside the family
context. In Vietnamese traditional society, girls are kept largely within the confines of the
household and family where they are protected and taught to accept the decisions that their
parents, husbands, brothers and teachers make on their behalf. As a result of this, women
lack experience and business related skills such as assertiveness, self-confidence,
discrimination and drive, which are needed to function effectively in positions of formal
leadership. They are usually dependent, receptive, emotional and accepting.

The conflict of combining work with family responsibilities

Because of social attitudes, women are responsible for the family. The traditional values of
Vietnamese society emphasises the woman’s role as wife, mother and homemaker. So if they
are managers, they have to work harder, spend more time on their paid work while still having
to take care of children and family. As a result, family stability is threatened. When a wife is
always busy in her work, she sacrifices time spent with her family.

The divorce rate has increased rapidly in Vietnam; consequently many women dislike power
or are afraid of it. They enjoy work and need a stable job but they do not try to get high
positions in their company. Almost all of them accept their normal jobs with average salaries.
For many Vietnamese women, family is more important than work. After working hours, they
want to spend time on their domestic responsibilities, on their children when they are young
and on their parents when they are elderly and on their husbands all their lives. In Vietnam,
many people think that a happy woman is a person who has a stable job and family.

However there are many changes in the Vietnamese economy as well as in the traditional
view of the woman’s role in her family. Women are contributing more to their developing
country. So in order to encourage and improve women’s chances of promotion, this essay
offers some suggestions as follows…

Our thanks to Nhan Dang Thi, BME student 2002, for permission to use this section of her work.

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As you answered the questions in the task, you will have noticed that these refer to some of
the features from the writing circle (Task 2). Specifically:

 Use of the literature shows support for the writer’s opinions which helps to maintain
coherence, and is a feature of the genre of an academic essay.
 The writer’s use of linking words such as “however”, “although” and “on the other hand”
help us to understand the development of her ideas and the relationship between them,
making her writing cohesive (or hold together well) so the reader can easily follow it.
 The writer’s organisation and structuring of her ideas shows her understanding of the task,
her planning, reading and note-taking and her synthesis of the research with her own
ideas.
 The language used is of a suitable academic style.

This student has demonstrated that she understands what the task involves as well as what
the tutors are expecting. This first essay should give her confidence in how to tackle her next
piece of academic writing when she begins her postgraduate course.

Note: See the answer key for more opinions on this essay from Nhan’s teacher

4.3 Writing a Good Introduction

Once you have written your outline and you have worked out what you are going to focus on
in your essay and the order in which you will write, you can begin to draft your introduction.

An introduction should:
 move from general to specific statements
 highlight the issues you are going to discuss
 show how you plan to answer the question

It may also:
 define key terms
 explain the background
 identify the basic assumptions you are making
 include a thesis statement

It should not:
 contain too much detail
 give your conclusion

Remember: A good introduction will make your reader want to read your essay – so try to
make it interesting as well as informative.

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Task 9
Look at the following introduction to Antonella’s essay about marketing strategies for organic
products in supermarkets. Match numbers 1 to 5 to the five sections of the introduction (a-e)
listed below the box then identify the writer’s focus/thesis statement.

Introduction A
1. 2.
Once considered a fringe product for the health conscious, organic products have proved to
be a major growth sector in the food industry. Indeed, in 2003 for the first time in the U.K.,
sales of organic products in supermarkets totalled £1 billion. Organic products are defined as
3. those grown or produced without the aid of toxic chemical pesticides or fertilisers, and
processed without artificial ingredients, preservatives or irradiation (Howell 2001:21). Organic
food, however, is not a new product. Before the introduction of synthetic pesticides and
fertilizers in the 1940s, most farming in the U.K. used fewer chemicals than today, although in
those days they were not subject to the rigorous inspection and certification standards of
today. It has only been in the past ten years that organic food has really come to the forefront
as a backlash against developments in biotechnology such as genetically modified foods and
public health scares such as bovine spongiform encephalopathy that have made people look
for more natural alternatives to modern agricultural techniques.
4.
This essay, therefore traces the development of organic products in the supermarket. In
addition, this essay aims to identify further marketing strategies by which the sale of organic
5.
products can be increased in supermarkets and to show that, with the appropriate strategies,
significant increases are possible.

a. background to the topic b. key definition c. writer’s plan

d. general statement followed by a more specific statement e. thesis statement

Task 10
Now look at the following introduction to an essay entitled:

“Leaders are born not made. Discuss.”

Introduction B

There is a famous belief that leaders are born not made. But I do not agree with them, in fact I
think that leaders are made not born. This essay will try to prove this point by mentioning
different types of leaders and explaining that training is an important factor in developing
leadership skills.

 This introduction needs some development. Which of the five common features of an
introduction listed in Task 9, are missing?
 What advice would you give to this writer?

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Tips for Writing Your Thesis Statement

A thesis statement is a single sentence (or sometimes two) which tells your reader what you
want them to know or understand after they have finished reading your essay.

1. Determine what kind of paper you are writing:

 An analytical essay reduces an issue or an idea into its various parts, evaluating the
issue or idea, and presenting these to the audience.
 An expository (/explanatory) essay explains something to the reader.
 An argumentative essay makes a claim about a topic and justifies this claim with
specific evidence. The claim could be an opinion, a policy proposal, an evaluation, a
cause-and-effect statement, or an interpretation. The goal of the argumentative essay is
to convince the audience that the claim is true based on the evidence provided.
2. If you are writing a text which does not fall under these three categories, a thesis
statement somewhere in the first paragraph is still necessary to your reader.
3. Your thesis statement should be specific—it should cover only what you will discuss in
your paper and should be supported with specific evidence.
4. The thesis statement usually appears at the end of the introduction paragraph of a paper.
5. Include plan of how you will structure your essay.
6. Your focus may change as you write, so you may need to revise your thesis statement to
reflect exactly what you have discussed in the paper.

Task 11
Now look at the introduction to the following essay question:

“Although the basic concepts of accounting are simple and universal they are not
always easy to apply. Describe why they might be difficult to apply and discuss the
implications of these difficulties.”
Introduction C

Accounting is the process of identification, collection, classification and analysis of data on

financial transactions from various reliable sources and the communication of related
information to management so they can make informed judgements and decisions. This
profession is based on a constant notion throughout the world though the terminology used
may differ from place to place. This notion is the accounting equation, given by the formula:
Assets = Liabilities + Owners’ equity (Wood and Sangster, 1996:146).

In addition to the basic notion, accounting practice is guided by a number of underlying

principles, otherwise called concepts or conventions. These concepts include, but are not
limited to the following: The historical cost concept, the dual concept, the matching concept,
the substance over form concept, the prudence concept, the consistency concept, the going
concern concept. Various sources of literature give different types of concepts, but most
writers include these seven and then others in addition.

Although the above concepts are generally simple and universal, they have not always been
easy to apply. Various difficulties are associated with their application, and as a result, these
difficulties have had a wide range of implications on accounting practice. This essay seeks to
describe why the accounting concepts might be difficult to apply and discusses the
implications of these difficulties.

1. Why is this introduction more successful than introduction B?

2. What is the writer’s thesis statement?

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Explaining the Background

Providing your reader with enough background information so they will understand your topic
is difficult, as you have to carefully judge:
 How much information to give
 How to present that information

Task 12
BME student, Maggie, produced the introduction below in response to the essay question,
“Discuss the contribution of teamwork to the success of the modern business.” Put
sentences a. to j. in the correct order:

a. In addition, while working in a team, people can learn something from each other, sharing
their experiences and viewpoints.
b. Usually a team consists of members with complementary abilities. Through this teamwork,
efficiency and productivity can be increased.
c. As the business environment has become more complex and dynamic, many different
skills and abilities are required to achieve a business goal.
d. Ideally, accomplishment through teamwork can give a better sense of achievement and be
more rewarding because of a sense of belonging too.
e. In turn, this can motivate team members to develop their abilities to the higher standard of
their colleagues or the one set by the team leader.
f. However, teamwork may bring side-effects too.
g. In this essay, I will assess the contribution of Belbin’s personality trait theory to our
understanding of what makes one team succeed and another, fail.
h. When badly managed, teamwork might be time consuming, resulting in inefficiency.
i. Also, there might be a discernible gap between an individual goal and a team goal. In that
case, members might encounter difficulties devoting themselves to their team tasks.
j. Team members may experience conflict within the team because of failure to reach a
consensus or a sense of a lack of responsibility.

Note: Pay particular attention to the places where more general statements are followed by
more specific ones, and also to the careful use of linking words to help the reader follow the
argument.

Task 13
Write an Introduction.

Essay title: Discuss the challenges and rewards for MBA/MSc students of working in
teams in their courses of study.

Following a discussion of this topic with your group, write an introduction to the essay in the
space below:

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Review of Some of the Language Found in Introductions

The following expressions are typically found in introductions. Add to the list with words and
phrases from the examples you have analysed in class:

purpose
aim of this essay is to…
The objective

focus of this essay is…

This paper/assignment will be divided into…

(Three sections)

Initially,…
Firstly,…

Following this,…
Then,…
Subsequently,…
In what follows,…

Finally,…
Lastly,….
An attempt will be made to…
This essay will try/attempt to…

highlight outline present discuss argue show look at

illustrate examine analyse trace the development of compare…

Tip: Once you have written a complete draft of your essay, carefully review your introduction
to check that the main body of the work contains what you outlined in your introduction.

4.4 Structuring the Body of the Essay

Paragraphs & Topic Sentences

1. Generally, paragraphs should contain a topic sentence. This introduces the main idea of a
specific paragraph and can occur anywhere in the paragraph but is most often found as
the first sentence. At the same time, the topic sentence also often acts as a transition
structure, “pulling” the reader from the idea discussed in one paragraph to the next. In
that case it probably contains a specific “signpost” word or phrase which provides a
smooth, logical movement. For example, ‘secondly’ or ‘on the other hand’. Many such
transition expressions are found in academic writing, their purpose being to allow the
reader to move comfortably through the text.

2. Additionally, paragraphs also contain sentences which expand the main theme and add
support to your argument. Because the writing should flow easily, these sentences are
linked by words or expressions to help the reader follow the line of thought. Furthermore,
the reader should find examples as well as quotations or paraphrased summaries

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(evidence) from other sources. These should support your points and connect to the idea
expressed in the thesis statement found in the essay introduction. Finally, a conclusion
sentence will draw these points to a close and provide a logical connection to the next
paragraph.

3. It is this logical structure within and between paragraphs which often causes difficulty for
students in their academic writing. The paragraph may have one or more logical
structures, including for example, cause and effect; chronological; contrast; addition;
priority (Metcalfe, 2010). “Formulating a coherent and logical argument takes time and
thought” (Anderson et al 2007). However, with sufficient planning, and some revising and
refining, clarity can be achieved.

Task 14
1. Identify the topic sentence in paragraph 1 above
2. Identify the topic sentence and linkers in paragraph 2 above
3. Identify the topic sentence; transition expression, linking devices, sources, and function of
paragraph 3 above

Task 15
 Match the topic sentences (1-5) with the appropriate paragraph (a-e).
 Underline the linkers.
 Identify the logical structure of the paragraph: priority; cause and effect; addition;
chronological; contrast.

1. There are three important aspects regarding this building.

2. This building was constructed over a number of years.
3. This building is completely self-contained.
4. There are a number of advantages and disadvantages to this building.
5. This building is going to be demolished next year for a number of reasons.

a) The foundation stone was laid in 1918 by the Queen Mother. A year later, building
started. Five years after that, the main building was completed. Then in 1945, the
library was added, and finally, last year the conference centre was built.
b) Although it has 12 large teaching rooms, half are on the south side and rather hot. The
canteen is extremely useful, but rather small; however, there are plans to enlarge it. In
spite of having a state-of-the-art media centre, it is often unavailable due to technical
problems.
c) Because it was built almost a hundred years ago, it does not have modern foundations.
As a result, the cellars are rather damp. This has lead to crumbling of the bricks due to
infiltration of moisture. Consequently the whole structure is unsound.
d) It has 12 teaching rooms and 2 lecture theatres. In addition, it has 2 large conference
rooms and a library. As well as this it has a restaurant plus a canteen. Furthermore, it
has a media centre together with a language laboratory.
e) Firstly, and most importantly, it houses the reception for the International Students’
Unit. Secondly, it has a large number of teaching rooms. Finally, it has the best
conference centre on the campus.

Source: Metcalfe, J. 2010

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Task 16
Choose three of the five topic sentences below and write a paragraph for each one.

1. The Jaguar company has a long and distinguished history.

2. There are a number of advantages and disadvantages to globalisation.

3. According to the Cadbury Report, a company which has good corporate governance will
have the following key elements:

4. There are a number of reasons why I have chosen to study at the University of
Birmingham.

5. Maslow’s theory of motivation identifies a hierarchy with five basic needs.

6. Now, write 2 brief paragraphs about yourself. Use topic sentences and try to achieve a
comfortable transition:
 My life history
 My ambitions

Source: Metcalfe, J. 2011

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4.5 Academic Style

Task 17
Look at the following two texts. Which text is more academic in style? Compare the
differences with your group.

a. If you want to know your market you have to split your market up into different sets of
customers who need different things according to how they spend their money. You can
do this geographically, by looking at the region, population density, the size of the town
and what the weather is like, or by using demographic factors, like age, sex, the size of the
family or where they are in the family life cycle; there are other variables too, like income,
occupation, social class, life style and their personalities.

b. Market segmentation means dividing a market into distinct subsets of customers with
different needs, according to different variables that can play a role on purchasing
decisions. These can include geographical factors – region, population density (urban,
suburban, rural), size of town, and climate; demographic factors such as age, sex, family
size, or stage in the family life cycle; and other variables including income, occupation,
education, social class, life style and personality.

Academic style used for essays, assignments and projects is quite different from spoken
English or informal written English. Some of the features of academic writing are detailed
below.

4.6 Giving Opinions & Expressing Attitude

Academic writing typically does not contain features such as:

 the use of the personal pronoun
 expressions of attitudes (thinking and feeling verbs, attitudinal adjectives such as
spectacular results etc.
 strong arguments and emotive language

These elements contribute to a text sounding informal, personal and subjective. This is
because they make the reader aware of the writer’s presence in the text. Academic language
typically does not contain them. However, your lecturers do want to know your opinion. This is
evident in essay questions such as:
 to what extent?
 evaluate
 account for

Academic writing needs:

 to sound objective
 to contain a considered opinion based on research, analysis and critical thinking

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For example:

In many organisations, where planning for external events is performed by change

managers, the contingencies and consequences may be independently checked by staff
from an operating department, The benefits of this practice were evaluated in a study by
Lester (1995) and described in her book ‘Change Management Planning’.

It might appear that there is no opinion language in this paragraph; however, the word
benefits suggests that the writer considered the results of the experiment to be beneficial, or
good. In spoken language this would be typically expressed as follows:

It’s good to get an independent person to check the results.

OR

Organisations benefit when the research is independently checked.

Benefits is the nominalised form of to benefit. Here the writer has used an abstract noun
formed through nominalisation (the process of turning a verb into a noun) with the result that
the writing sounds more objective. We will come back to nominalisation later in this Guide.

Another important aspect of expressing opinion and attitude is the language feature of
modality. This refers to the “intermediate choices between yes and no” (Halliday, 1985: 86).
In other words, statements can be not only positive or negative (organisations benefit,
organisations do not benefit), they can also be tentative or near certain. For example:

Organisations might benefit (low modality) = tentative

Organisations must benefit (high modality) = near certain

Low modality:
 appears in texts which are not emotional, e.g. reports and essays
 can be used to present a discussion or reasoned argument
 appeals to reason
 is more usual in academic writing

We find evaluation and opinion in academic writing in:

 Introductions (for example, where the essay’s thesis is outlined),
 The main body (for example, where there is analysis of source material)
 Conclusions (for example, where reflections and recommendations are sometimes made).

Look at these examples of opinions and attitude language in the following conclusion to an
MSc. Investments essay:
Accordingly, it seems that while the theories of Marx and Weber on the notion of class
may have some common aspects, they also contain some fundamental differences,
which centre around the idea proposed by Marx that class is determined solely by
economic factors, whereas Weber would argue that class is only one form of social
stratification. It is an impossible task to decide which theory provides the most accurate
description of class, thus not surprisingly the issue continues to be a topic of
contentious debate. Weber’s theory certainly encompasses aspects which Marx
seems to have left out, yet the importance of Marx’s theories cannot be undermined.

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Another example of opinion language is below:

The criteria used to judge auditors’ work needs to be assessed. Auditing is dominated by
a small number of companies, and predominantly taught and written by men. This
inherent male bias almost certainly results in a ‘macho’ attitude to risk. The infrastructure
needs to be reappraised.

In this example, from an Accounting and Finance course, strong obligation is expressed in the
noun to need, so the obligation is less obvious than if it had been expressed as we need to.
Although high modality can occur in essay writing, this depends to an extent on the essay
topic and on the discipline.

Task 18
1 a. Highlight any expressions of opinion and attitude in the following conclusion to an MSc
Accounting & Finance essay:

Under the appropriate social and economic conditions, Value Added Statements (VAS)
may become important in presenting additional or recognised information about an entity
to a wider audience. They are of most use when they can be compared with those of
past years or with other companies. However, if the publication of the VAS is to become
widespread throughout the United Kingdom and in Australia for that matter, there is the
need then for accounting standards on their form and content. This is due to the variety
of methods which are currently employed in their preparation.
Source: Woodward-Kron (1997) Writing in Commerce, Revised edition, CALT, The University of Newcastle, p.
17.

1 b. Now highlight opinion and attitude expressions in these sentences:

i. With the support of key people, Ms Costello could change the organisational culture into
a more participative, less hostile workforce.
Source: Management synopsis

ii. Robotic labour will probably be needed for most of our industrial and commercial
activities.
Source: Human Resource Management essay

iii. The failure of information systems is rarely due to technological failure. Failure is much
more likely to be caused by human and organisational problems.
Source: Business Management essay

iv. The results show that, taken together, at least 17 of the 25 items can form a valid scale
measuring shareholder perceptions of their companies for each of the three data
groups. Of the five sub-scales, Good Management Skills are only moderately valid and
reliable for use and interpretation separately from the main scale.
Source: abstract James D (1998) ‘The Shareholder Experience’ Management Research and Development,
Vol. 41, No. 1, pp. 45-63.

Adapted from: Self-directed learning resource, Learning Resource Centre © Learning Development — University of
Wollongong 2000

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4.7 Formal & Informal Register

4.7.1 Choosing the Correct Verb for Formality

In everyday English it is usual to choose a phrasal or prepositional verb to describe an
action, whereas in written academic English, it is common to use a single verb.

Examples:
The company will keep on going as long as possible. = informal style
1
The company will continue as long as possible. = academic style
The company is going to put up salaries as a way of
= informal style
keeping up motivation.
2
The company is going to increase salaries as a way
= academic style
of maintaining motivation.

Task 19
Exercise 1a
Choose a verb from the box to reduce the informality of the eight sentences that follow,
making any necessary changes to the verb tense. Each verb should be used once only.

fluctuate maintain intervene reduce pervade

raise eliminate investigate delay assist

1. The auditors looked into the company’s finances after the scandal last year.

______________

2. The issue of the merger was brought up again at the meeting. ______________

3. A company’s dividends usually go up and down wildly in any financial year if the

economy is weak. ______________

4. The firm cannot keep up output if supplies are continually held up. ______________

5. The main principle behind Total Quality Management is to get rid of the possibility of

errors before they occur. ______________

6. In a small firm, the general manager is required to step in and help out if the

departmental managers are having problems. ______________

7. A Just-in-Time inventory system cuts down the amount of wasted time and improves

efficiency. ______________

8. A unique corporate culture, with strong values and norms of behaviour runs through

the company at all levels. ______________

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Exercise 1b
Now identify the informal part of each of the sentences below. Reduce the informality by
providing a more formal equivalent of your choice:

1. A number of very useful solutions were put forward at the meeting. ______________

2. After many years of research, Porter came up with a model which is very much used

today to help us understand industry competition. ______________

3. Brown (1984) found out that short-term planning was the most common form of

strategic planning among senior management. ______________

4. Researchers have been looking into the problem for years. ______________

5. The research turned up some surprising results. ______________

4.7.2 Avoiding Contractions

Avoid the use of contractions in academic writing.

For example:
 The actions of the chairman proved that they’d performed badly. = informal style
 The actions of the chairman proved that they had performed badly. = academic style

Exercise 2
Improve the following sentences, where necessary:

1. Productivity figures won’t improve until the economy’s stronger.

2. The promise of an end-of-year bonus wasn’t an adequate incentive for the

employees.

3. Managers shouldn’t criticise subordinates in public.

4. The employee’s response was that he’d never work there because they didn’t pay
adequate remuneration.

5. His response was: “I’d never work there because they don’t pay enough.”

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4.7.3 Avoiding Idiomatic Language

Some expressions in English are idiomatic and are therefore more appropriate for
spoken English. Colloquialisms (conversational expressions) are not suitable for formal
written English.

Exercise 3
Which of the expressions below would be more appropriate for a formal, academic
essay?

1. The chairman made a great deal of/a lot of money by selling his shares at the right
time.
2. The share price increased a lot/significantly at the end of last year.
3. In theory, the relationship between the workforce and the management is
really/extremely important.
4. The company got good/received favourable results from the marketing research.
5. They dispatch a lot of/many application forms.
6. The response of the board of directors was somewhat/sort of negative.
7. Several members/some of the management team quit/resigned in protest when one
of their colleagues was given a dressing down/criticised in public by the GM/General
Manager.

4.7.4 Use More Appropriate Formal Negative Forms

For example:
not … any  no
not … much  little
not … many  few

The analysis didn’t yield any new results  The analysis yielded no new results.
The machinery doesn’t require much storage space  The machinery requires little
storage space.
The company doesn’t have many potential buyers  The company has few potential
buyers.

Exercise 4
Make improvements to the following sentences:

1. There hasn’t been much agreement among management gurus.

2. M&S has received a lot of good publicity over the last few years.

3. Railtrack didn’t receive much funding for track maintenance.

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4. Not many newly-launched products succeed.

5. In terms of corporate culture, there isn’t any amount of team spirit that will encourage
the employees to work harder.

4.7.5 Use Nominalisation

Nominalisation allows us to represent one event as causing another event in a single
clause. It is very common in academic writing to use a noun phrase rather than a verb
phrase to represent an event or process, as well as express clearer objectivity.

Example:
 JIT stock control was adopted. This was because of its greater efficiency.
 The adoption of JIT was due to its greater efficiency.

Exercise 5
1. The company was reorganized internally. This was said to be the main reason for the
redundancies.

2. The government report on transport was published last week. As a result, the
Chairman of Railtrack resigned.

3. The bank withdrew its offer to buy the company because of a higher bid.

4. If poverty and homelessness can be reduced, it could make the world a better place
to live.

5. New international markets were created. This led to a major expansion in the
industry.

6. The two pharmaceutical companies collaborated on the project. This resulted in the
launch of a new drug.

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7. If they establish a joint venture abroad, this would help them to break into the export
market.

8. It can be a stressful experience to speak in front of a large audience.

4.7.6 Limit the use of ‘Run On’ Expressions such as: and so forth, etc
In academic writing, ‘run-on’ expressions are avoided, where possible.

Example:
These devices can be used in batch, continuous process and so forth.
These devices can be used in batch, continuous process and other production
processes.

Exercise 6
Make improvements to the following:

1. This theory can be applied to the car industry, the airline industry, the rail industry and
so forth.

2. Shares in cinemas, bingo halls, theme parks etc. have increased considerably.

3. The mark-up on knitwear, ladies’ fashions, men’s clothes etc. is at least 300 per cent.

4. The competition among Tesco, Sainsbury, Asda and so forth is very fierce.

5. NatWest, Halifax, Barclays … are cutting their number of branches.

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4.7.7 Avoid Addressing the Reader as ‘You’

Example:
You can see the results in Table 1.
The results can be seen in Table 1.

Exercise 7
Rewrite the following sentences to make them more formal:

1. You can apply the same theory to any industry.

2. When Coca Cola first started in business, you could buy the drink from soda
fountains.

3. You can only ask the employees to do the work when they have been properly
trained.

4.7.8 Limit the Use of Direct Questions

Example:
What can be done to improve productivity?
It is necessary to consider how productivity can be improved.
How productivity can be improved needs to be considered.

Exercise 8
Change these questions into statements:

1. What are Porters’ five competitive forces?

2. How can motivation be improved?

3. Why is the hierarchical structure the most dominant organisation structure?

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4.7.9 Place Adverbs Before/Close to the Verb

In academic writing, adverbs are often placed mid-position rather than in the initial or
final positions of a sentence. In informal English, adverbs often occur as clauses at the
beginning or end of sentences.

Example
Then the audit is carried out.
The audit is then carried out.
The new appraisal system was introduced slowly.
The new appraisal system was slowly introduced.

Exercise 9
Improve the following:

1. Strategic planning is the role of the senior management primarily.

2. The financial ratios will be calculated automatically.

Now try the following combination exercise. Rewrite the following sentences to make
them less informal and more appropriate for use in academic writing:

1. Profits won’t go up until productivity is better.

2. There aren’t many banks which have got personal customer service.

3. Trade Union membership fell due to increased unemployment.

4. The demand from shareholders etc. is for increased transparency.

5. You can’t expect suppliers to wait to be paid.

6. Why do workers put up with low pay?

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4.8 Using Academic Caution

A key feature of academic writing is the need to be cautious when making claims or
statements. This is also known as “hedging”, a term commonly used in the financial world,
which means to insure against a loss. In the same way, writers use caution to protect their
ideas from a strong attack and to avoid making false/strong claims. By exercising caution you
can also demonstrate that you:

 Recognise that alternative points of view may also be valid

 Show judgement when expressing your opinions
 Are aware of constraints or circumstances that may mitigate your argument

Remember that your purpose is to be as accurate as possible when making a claim.

However, as 100% certainty is not always possible, it is better to soften your claim through
the use of cautious language. Some of the most common methods of expressing caution in
academic writing are through the use of:

 modal verbs (would, could, may, might)

 adverbs (possibly, perhaps, probably, apparently)
 adjectives (likely, probable, uncertain, doubtful)
 impersonal verb forms (it seems that, it appears, it suggests, it is generally agreed that)
 qualified probability (it is rather unlikely, it is quite probable, it is almost certain, it is often
true)

Expand this list with examples from your own writing.

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Task 20
In the text below, there are a number of examples of cautious language. Highlight as many as
you can find. Which of the ways of expressing caution listed above are the most common in
this text?

When to express caution in academic writing

1. When making generalisations:

 German and Swiss managers tend to favour structured learning objectives with clear
pedagogical course objectives.
 The recruitment process in Latin and Far Eastern countries is very often characterised by
ascertaining how well that person ‘fits in’ with the larger group.

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2. When commenting on data:

 The research seems to suggest a growing antipathy towards companies who market high
calorie foods such as sugary drinks, cereals and sweets directly at children.

3. When making conclusions:

 What may be required therefore is a greater awareness of the different communication
styles of different cultures and how these affect participation in groups.
 It appears that outstanding managers are rather rare.

4. When making strong claims:

 Service is perhaps the most sustainable differential advantage in building brands (Doyle,
1989:87).

5. When making recommendations:

 The company should recruit workers who can represent its strong ecological values to the
clients.

Now look back at the text again. Do any of your highlighted sentences fall under the above
categories?

Task 21
Read the extract from Yoko’s essay on the next page, and answer the questions below:

1. What tense has Yoko used throughout this extract?

2. Where would a more cautious style be appropriate?
3. Make any necessary changes using academic caution

The graph below shows labour force participation rates by age and prefecture:

As the graph illustrates, there are peaks in the employment rates of women at the ages of 20
and 40 in the various prefectures, but the employment rates fall away between the peaks. It
presents a situation where women leave the workplace because of marriage, childbirth, or
child rearing. The fact is that women cannot continue to work throughout their life in Japan.

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Consequently, women have to work for a shorter period than men and retire before reaching
management levels. It causes lack of experience or knowledge about the business.

Task 22
Now look at the table below. It shows the main reasons why consumers avoid purchasing
over the Internet for personal or private use in Britain. Analyse the data and briefly describe
the main trends, commenting on the information and suggesting possible reasons. Remember
to use cautious language when making any claims.

Reasons 2009 (%) 2010 (%)

Have no need 20 24
Prefer to shop in person/like
23 29
to see the product
Security concerns 29 23

Source: National Statistics Omnibus Survey

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4.9 Conclusions

The writing of conclusions does not seem to present as much of a problem as the writing of
introductions. In the former, the writer usually summarises the main purpose of the essay, and
reviews the ideas or frameworks developed. Then, the writer summarises the
recommendations made in the main body and offers a brief review of the effects of these
and/or a rationale. There is often, but not always, a reference to future research possibilities
at the end of the essay. It is very important that you do not introduce new information into
your conclusion. The conclusion only relates to what is in the main body of the essay.

Typical language found in conclusions:

This essay/assignment has made two
To conclude…it is clear that…
suggestions for…
The results highlighted suggest four main
To sum up…it can be seen that…
findings…
Overall,…these examples show that… As this essay/assignment has shown…

In summary…the results suggest… Consequently,…

In conclusion… This essay has argued that…

What has been suggested [in this
In short…
assignment] is that…
In sum, and to conclude… This essay has proposed…

Task 23
Read the following conclusion taken from Antonella’s essay entitled, “Annual reports: why
should companies disclose financial reports, to whom and what kind of information
should they contain?” and match the missing labels with the items in the list (a-f) below:

Conclusion A 1.

The above analysis attempted to show how the socio-economic context influences the
disclosure of information in the annual reports. A basic classification of the user groups of
2. financial reports may be based on the distinction between legal and moral rights. The
competition for access to the socio-economic resources by these user groups underpins the
reasons why corporate entities are required to provide financial reports. Accounting standards
3. have been developed to address mainly the need of the user groups claiming legal rights.
This essay has argued that due to the specific knowledge required to interpret this 5.
information, business entities should include non-financial information as an extension of
classical financial accounts. The combination of such information should improve the
4. communication and reciprocal control of the two user groups leading to a sustainable
6.
corporate development. Moreover, legal regulation and accounting standards should be
enhanced on a continuous basis to guarantee the reliability and comparability of non-financial
information disclosed in the external financial reports.

a. First recommendation d. Summary of the purpose of essay

b. Second recommendation e. Effect of recommendation 1
c. Rationale for recommendation 2 f. Review of theoretical framework

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Task 24
Read the following conclusion from Lucy’s essay entitled, “Leaders are born not made.
Discuss this statement with reference to the literature and your own experience”
Discuss its strengths and weaknesses and match the labels to items a-d below:

Conclusion B

I believe that a few people are born leaders, however that does not mean that it is the only
way. According to the studies and experience presented above, leaders can also be made.
Peter F. Drucker, the father of modern management stated, “There may be ‘born leaders’ but
1. there are surely too few to depend on them. Leadership must, and can be learned.” If you
think and act on it, you can become it.
2.
In today’s world of constant change, the demand for leaders has increased. Many consulting
firms provide leadership courses to help people learn relevant skills. If a person is born with
3.
leader attributes, it will be easier for him to become a leader. In the meantime, if a person sets
his mind and wants to be a leader, he can also be made a leader. To sum up, in my opinion,
leaders are both born and can be made. 4.

a. Rationale 1 d. Final conclusion

b. Rationale 2 e. Review

4.9.1 Helping your Reader through your Writing

As we saw earlier in the Guide,it is important to take your reader into account when you
write. Good writers show an awareness of their audience and take care to help their
audience through the ideas and concepts presented, ensuring that these can be clearly
understood, no matter how complex they may be.

In your introduction, you should have established a dialogue with your reader and
explained the purpose and focus of your essay. You may have also offered some
information on how you plan to structure your essay and the order this will follow. Now
you need to ensure that you build your argument carefully, showing and applying your
knowledge, and leading your reader through your ideas by way of:

 good linking (cohesion)

 knowledge of paragraph structure
 signalling the direction of your writing
 developing a logical argument with examples & references

The above will increase the readability of your work and enhance the credibility of your
opinions.

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Task 25
The following example is an extract taken from Marco’s essay on the basic criteria and
considerations for successful segmentation. We can use this to see how a student builds and
develops his discussion while helping the reader to follow his ideas. Read the extract and
then answer the questions on the page that follows

The advantages of segmentation

According to Blois and Dibb (2000: 35) marketing managers use segmentation because they
believe that it will improve their marketing effectiveness and enhance their ability to capitalise
on market opportunities. Market segmentation provides marketers with profiles of identified
customers and then they can select their target markets in which the company wishes to
compete, and to design appropriate marketing strategies.

In some situations however, companies may pursue only one market for their particular
product or service, which is called undifferentiated marketing or mass marketing. Coca-Cola
used to produce only one drink for the whole market and similarly Henry Ford offered only
one black Model T car to all buyers, implementing his mass production structure. However, it
is clear that segmentation leads to more satisfied customers and better designed marketing
programmes.

Bases for Segmentation

Generally there can be many ways in which customers can be grouped and markets
segmented, such as demographic, geographic and psychographic, which are called
segmentation variables or bases. These factors are the dimensions or characteristics of
individuals, groups and organisations. According to McDaniel (1982; 96) there are five basic
forms of segmentation: demographic, by age, sex, income; geographic, by region, urban or
rural; psychographic, by lifestyle or personality; by benefit, e.g. tastes or feels good; and by
volume, e.g. by heavy or light use. For example, in demographic segmentation, higher income
groups are more likely to be interested in luxury cars and in geographic segmentation, the
demand for snow boots is higher in mountainous areas. Similarly, according to benefit
segmentation, the toothpaste market is divided among people who want a pleasant flavour,
people who want to avoid tooth decay and individuals who want brighter teeth.

In addition to this Kotler and Armstrong (2003; 250) suggest some additional variables such
as customer operating characteristics, purchasing approaches, situational factors and
personal characteristics, which are especially suitable for the B to B (Business to Business)
market. For example, Hewlett-Packard’s Computer Systems Division targets specific
industries that promise the best growth prospects, such as telecommunications and financial
services.

Regarding these segmentation variables, one thing that we must remember is that there is no
best way to segment a market. Thus, the marketer should make special efforts to find the
right variables that provide the best segmentation opportunities.

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Question Answer
In the first two paragraphs, Marco shows a) explanation
when segmentation of a market is b) rationale
1 desirable and when it is not. Tick the c) example
methods on the right that he uses to d) paraphrase
expand his point. e) quotation
Note all the linking devices used in the
2
second section.
a) by full title
How does the writer refer to previous b) by date of publication
3
research? (tick one) c) by abbreviated title
d) by author(s) and date of publication
In which lines do you find Marco’s
4
comments on segmenting markets?
Where in each paragraph does Marco
5 place the topic sentence?
What is the effect of this?
The final statement (30-32) leads the
reader to expect certain information from
6
the next section. What do you think the
next section will cover?
What is the average length of each
7 ………words
sentence?

Texts like these tend to follow fairly predictable patterns of organisation. Use this as a form of
support for your writing. Good writers are not necessarily geniuses, but they do have a good
sense of how different types of texts are organised.

Remember to always make your ideas clear to your reader; aim to produce a dialogue with
him or her that guides them through your ideas.

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5. Using the Literature in Your Writing

As we have seen, good reading informs good writing. The literature that relates to your field of
study plays a key role in:
 informing you about issues and practices in business
 enabling you to gain a perspective on the research
 supporting your writing as you demonstrate your understanding of the issues and theories
in your essays and dissertation

The two key questions that you must be able to answer in order to demonstrate this are:
 How do I use the literature?
 When do I have to use it?

Task 26
Work with a partner or in a small group to discuss the following questions:

a. When writing in your own country, was it necessary to refer to other sources of information
in your texts?

b. If so, how did you do it?

c. How did you decide at what point it was necessary to refer to other sources in your text?

d. Suggest some general guidelines about when it is necessary or desirable to refer to

external sources in your text.

e. Where do you usually attach your reference list in an essay, report or dissertation?

f. Describe the principles by which you should order and organise a reference
list/bibliography.

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g. How does a reference list differ from a bibliography?

At postgraduate level, your tutors expect you to discuss practical issues facing companies
with reference to the theoretical analysis found in the literature. You need to show an
understanding of the theory by frequently referring to it as support for your argument in your
writing. If you have never done this before, you must try to develop a sense of when it is
necessary to refer to the literature in your writing. Study the samples of academic writing in
the following section to see how other writers do it.

There are two main ways of referring to the literature:

 Using the ideas of the original source but in your own words i.e., producing a paraphrase
 Using the exact words of the original source (quoting)

Careful referencing – both in the main body and the reference list at the end of your work –
will ensure that your reader will be able to follow up the citations in your work, if necessary.

It is essential to develop good techniques for producing a paraphrase and quoting, as a

sloppy technique shows poor style and will affect your grades – no matter how good your
ideas are!

5.1 Writing a Literature Review

A literature review usually follows an introductory section of an essay or dissertation. Its main
aim is to demonstrate that you have read and understood the relevant published work for a
particular topic which you aim to explore in your assignment.
 Your review should not simply be a description of what others have published in the form
of a set of summaries
 It should take the form of a critical discussion
 It should show insight and an awareness of differing arguments, theories and approaches
 It should be a synthesis and analysis of the relevant published work, linked at all times to
your own purpose/research aim

5.1.1 Managing your reading

Your literature review should not take over your time. You first need to work towards
refining your literature search techniques by identifying the keywords and key sources for
your topic; then, you need to select and highlight aspects of the literature you read that
you are going to refer to or use later in your writing.

Suggestions on how you can manage your reading:

 Read as much as you can about your topic in the time you have, and keep a record of
what you read: a literature matrix (such as an Excel spreadsheet) is an effective way
of doing this, as will be shown below
 Decide on a system of referencing sources. The most common system is the Harvard
system, but some disciplines, (for example, Law, and Medicine) use other systems.
Make sure you check the most up to date information for your department or school
on the UoB website
 When you record sources manually, make sure you always note the author’s family

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name, forename or initials; for more information on citations and referencing, check
the BME Citation and Referencing Guide. Remember to keep more than one copy of
your notes
 Note the page numbers of any quotations or, in the case of EBDs, the page number
Make notes of what seem to you to be important issues. Look for and keep a ‘first
thoughts’ list of categories of keywords
 It is extremely important to have a systematic method of recording your sources
regardless of whether you are writing a short essay, dissertation or thesis

One method is to maintain a literature matrix in which you can summarise your reading
and sources.

For example:
Theme Source 1 Source 2 Source 3 Source 4

Purpose of
study/text

Type and
population of
study

Other

First key point

Second key
point

Other relevant
points

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5.2 Typical Essay Structure

This diagram indicates the position of a literature review in a typical essay. The review does
not form part of your argument. Note the arrow indicating that the first paragraph of the main
body should still follow logically from your essay (writer’s) plan and thesis statement.

An introduction is usually
INTRODUCTION
approximately 10% of the
Background
Definition(s) whole essay.
General statement followed by
specifics and examples A literature review is written
Writer’s plan/thesis statement
independently of the essay.
LITERATURE REVIEW A simple literature review
Usually follows the introduction only reviews the key
and typically includes:
theories relevant to the
Summary of your reading
Analysis and synthesis subject of your assignment.
Critique It is not part of your
PARAGRAPH argument.
Topic sentence In a literature review you
Support + Citations note the authors’ opinions,
Analysis/comment/transition
summarise them using

PARAGRAPH analysis and synthesis and

then tell your reader what
Topic sentence
Support + Citations you think about them.
Analysis/comment/transition

PARAGRAPH
Your conclusion will usually
Topic sentence be approximately 5% of
Support + Citations your essay, summarise your
Analysis/comment/transition essay, and relate back to
the essay question and
state whether you have
CONCLUSION
achieved your thesis. It
should never include new
Summarise your essay
information.
Perhaps discuss future action

Note: This structure does not imply that there must be only three “main body” paragraphs in
an essay. In addition, at times a paragraph may need to “spill over” into/as the next
paragraph as well, in order to avoid presenting excessively long paragraphs. Finally, this
structure of paragraphs is only a type; there are other structures as well…

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5.3 Purposes & Organisation of the Lliterature Rreview

5.3.1 Purpose
The purposes of the review include:

 to define and limit the question you are working on

 to place your study in a historical perspective
 to evaluate promising research methods for your research
 to relate your findings to previous knowledge and suggest further research
 to find a gap in the literature
 to evaluate and synthesise information on the concepts/topics in your essay

A good literature review, therefore, critiques what has been written, identifies areas of
controversy, raises questions and identifies areas which need further research.

5.3.2 Critical Review Language

It is quite monotonous when every paragraph of your review begins with the names of
researchers, for example: “Smith said …”, “Jones said …” Instead, use different ways of
reporting data so that your literature review does not read like a shopping list, for example:
“Smith claims that … Jones says that …”

 Consider the following three styles:

 Information prominent:
Research indicates that … (Becker, 1997:9) (usually present tense)

 Weak author prominent:

Research has shown...
Some have argued that … (Becker, 1997:9) (usually present perfect tense)

 Author prominent:
Becker (1997:9) argues that … (usually present tense)

 Use a range of “Critical Review Language” for example:

In rejecting the idea that… Becker (1997) states…
Becker (1997) questions the idea that…
When investigating the idea that… Becker (1997)…
According to Becker (1997)…
Becker (1997) undermines the position that…
In Becker’s (1997) view …
While Becker’s (1997) point seems to be that …

5.3.3 Example Literature Review (excerpt)

As you read this, observe how the research begins by focussing on the main topic area and
then narrowing down to the gap in the research:

Discuss the Relevance of Marketing Techniques to the Agricultural Industry

In the literature it is recognised that a dichotomy exists between agricultural and business
marketing because the marketing management approach is not prominent in agricultural
marketing theory. It is suggested by Bateman (1976) that agricultural marketing has

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traditionally incorporated everything that happens between the farm gate and the consumer,
therefore encompassing areas which ‘the purist’ may not consider marketing. While analysis
of government intervention and policy form the focus of agricultural marketing theory, it is
often argued that studies of the objectives and decisions confronting individual businesses
are central to business marketing theory. Additionally, Muelenberg (1986) identifies the gap
existing between the two disciplines. He notes that agricultural marketing theory has not
adopted the marketing management approach of business marketing theory or examined
competitive strategy in the same way as business literature. According to Richardson (1986:
100) the marketing management approach (which he refers to as the agribusiness concept)
has “gained very little acceptance … and no significant analytical or research results” in the
area of agricultural marketing. However, it appears that parts of agricultural marketing theory
seem to be moving towards the marketing management approach.

Breimyer (1973) was the first to identify an agricultural marketing school of thought focusing
on business marketing theory, and this school of thought seems to be growing more
prominent. For example Watson (1983) acknowledges that during the 1970s a minor
paradigm shift occurred in agricultural marketing with a move towards business marketing.
He notes how successive editions of Kohl’s agricultural marketing textbook (1972 and 1980)
have changed to describe the marketing concept. Supporting this view, Muelenberg (1986)
points out a number of agricultural marketeers who have partially incorporated the marketing
management approach, but mainly focus on the behaviour of agribusiness companies (e.g.
Bresch 1981; Yon 1976), rather than individual farm firms. Ritson (1986) argues that
agricultural marketing theory should focus on government policy, because in European
agriculture parts of the marketing mix which would normally be undertaken by individual
businesses are controlled by the government.

Although central control or government intervention may limit the marketing options available
to individual business, farm firms still have some control over their marketing mix and
production decisions. The presence of government intervention or marketing activity does not
preclude or excuse individual business firms from any marketing activity or strategic process
associated with the market place. (Bresch 1981) In business marketing theory the external
environment has a major influence on the marketing activities of most firms. The apparent
differences between agricultural marketing and business marketing theories may not present
a problem because both disciplines examine issues which are likely to require different
theories and techniques for analysis. However, concern must be expressed at the failure of
researchers to comprehensively examine the marketing strategies undertaken by individual
farm businesses.

5.3.4 A Final Checklist

Before you submit your assignment, consider the following questions (from Taylor, 2001:
201):
a. Do I have a specific thesis, problem, or research question which my literature review helps
to define?
b. What type of literature review am I conducting? Am I looking at issues of theory?
methodology? policy? quantitative research (e.g., studies of a new or controversial
procedure)? qualitative research (e.g., studies determining criteria for allocating health
care resources)?
c. What is the scope of my literature review? What types of publications am I using; e.g.,
journals, books, government documents, popular media? What discipline am I working in?
d. How good are my information seeking skills? Has my search been wide enough to ensure
I’ve found all the relevant material? Has it been narrow enough to exclude irrelevant

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material? Is the number of sources I’ve used appropriate for the length of my paper? Is
there a specific relationship between the literature I’ve chosen to review and the problem
I’ve formulated?
e. Have I critically analysed the literature I use? Do I just list and summarise authors and
articles, or do I assess them? Do I discuss the strengths and weaknesses of the cited
material? Have I cited and discussed studies contrary to my perspective?
f. Will the reader find my literature review relevant, appropriate, and useful?

References
Information Services, University of Melbourne Library, (2008).Conducting a Literature Review: Getting Started,
Accessed 31 October, 2008, from http://www.lib.unimelb.edu.au/postgrad/litreview/gettingstarted.html
McLeay, F. J. and Zwart, A.C. (1993) Agricultural Marketing and Farm Marketing Strategies Australian Agribusiness
Review, Volume 1 No 1
Taylor, D. (2001) Writing a Literature Review. Accessed 17/4/2003 from, http://www.utoronto.ca/hswriting/lit-
review.htm.
http://guides.lib.purdue.edu/content.php?pid=140332&sid=1641331

5.3.5 Organisational Patterns of the Literature Review

Review Structure
You may decide that one of the following means is the most logical way to structure your
review.

 Difference of approach:
‘While Jones (1982) argues … Smith (1990 ) claims that…’

 From distant to closely related:

‘Smith (1991) and Jones (2001) both show that … However Hutchison (2002) demonstrates
that …’

 Chronological:
‘Early marketing theory owes its development to … Many studies contributed to … for
example, Jones and Smith (1986). Hunt (1987) was recognised for … but later Jamison
(1999) showed that …’

Whichever structure you use, remember that your review should be organised into useful,
informative sections that present themes or identify trends (Taylor, 2001).

There are usually four parts to the literature review. These are:
1. Introduction of the topic
2. Summary of the main idea
3. Description of previous research
4. Evaluation

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Task 27
1a
The example review of literature that follows is extracted from a journal article. Can you
identify the four parts?
When Salovey and Mayer coined the term emotional intelligence in 1990 (Salovey & Mayer,
1990), they were aware of the previous work on non-cognitive aspects of intelligence.

They described emotional intelligence as a form of social intelligence that involves the ability
to monitor one’s own and other’s feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to
use this information to guide one’s thinking and action (Salovey & Mayer, 1990). Salovey and
Mayer also initiated a research program intended to develop valid measures of emotional
intelligence and to explore its significance. For instance, they found in one study (850
respondents) that when a group of people saw an upsetting film, those who scored high on
emotional clarity (which is the ability to identify and give a name to a mood that is being
experienced) recovered more quickly (Salovey, Mayer, Goldman, Turvey, & Palfai, 1995). In
another study, (1500) individuals who scored higher in the ability to perceive accurately,
understand, and appraise other’s emotions were better able to respond flexibly to changes in
their social environments and build supportive social networks (Salovey, Bedell, Detweiler &
Mayer, 1999).

In the early 1990s Daniel Goleman became aware of Salovey and Mayer’s work, and this
eventually led to his book, Emotional Intelligence. Goleman was a science writer for the New
York Times, whose beat was brain and behavior research. He had been trained as a
psychologist at Harvard where he worked with David McClelland, among others. McClelland
(1973) was among a growing group of researchers who were becoming concerned with how
little traditional tests of cognitive intelligence told us about what it takes to be successful in
life.

An example of this research on the limits of IQ as a predictor is the Sommerville study, a 40

year longitudinal investigation of 450 boys who grew up in Sommerville, Massachusetts. Two
thirds of the boys were from welfare families, and one-third had IQs below 90. However, IQ
had little relation to how well they did at work or in the rest of their lives. What made the
biggest difference were childhood abilities such as being able to handle frustration, control
emotions, and get along with other people (Snarey & Vaillant, 1985).

Another good example is a study of 80 PhDs in science who underwent a battery of

personality tests, IQ tests, and interviews in the 1950s when they were graduate students at
Berkeley. Forty years later, when they were in their early seventies, they were tracked down
and estimates were made of their success based on resumes, evaluations by experts in their
own fields, and sources like American Men and Women of Science. It turned out that social
and emotional abilities were four times more important than IQ in determining professional
success and prestige (Feist & Barron, 1996). Now it would be absurd to suggest that cognitive
ability is irrelevant for success in science. One needs a relatively high level of such ability
merely to get admitted to a graduate science program at a school like Berkeley. Once you are
admitted, however, what matters in terms of how you do compared to your peers has less to
do with IQ differences and more to do with social and emotional factors. To put it another
way, if you’re a scientist, you probably needed an IQ of 120 or so simply to get a doctorate
and a job. But then it is more important to be able to persist in the face of difficulty and to get
along well with colleagues and subordinates than it is to have an extra 10 or 15 points of IQ.
The same is true in many other occupations.

Source: The Journal of Psychology and Personality. Volume 6. Issue Number 2, September 2011 Emotional
Intelligence and Success by James Leeming. Pages 112-119

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1b
Now use the matrix in Section 5.1.1 above to record the sources and results associated with
the text.

5.3.6 Citation Patterns & Tense Choice

(Adapted from John, S and van Geyte, E 2010)
Tense choice in reviewing previous research is subtle and somewhat flexible. The following,
therefore, are only general guidelines for tense usage. Several studies have shown that at
least two-thirds of all citing statements fall into one of these three major patterns:

Past Tense Present Perfect Present

 Jones (1987)  The causes of poor production quality
 The causes of poor
investigated the have been widely investigated (Jones
production quality are
causes poor 1987, Ferrara 1990, Hyon 1994).
complex (Jones 1987,
production quality  There have been several investigations
Ferrara 1990, Hyon
 The causes of into the causes of poor production
1994).
poor production quality (Jones 1987, Ferrara 1990, Hyon
 poor production quality
quality were 1994).
appears to have a
investigated by  Several researchers have studied the
complex set of causes.
Jones (1987). causes of poor production quality.
Reference to single
Reference to state of
studies, focus on Reference to areas of inquiry, focus on
current knowledge, focus
what a previous what previous researchers have done
on what has been found
researcher did

You should be aware that there is much variation within these patterns. The choice of tense,
for example, also depends on the reporting verb. By and large, when verbs are used that
focus on what the previous researcher did (investigated, studied, analysed etc.), the past
tense is used. However, when it refers to what the researcher thought (stated, concluded,
claimed) more tense options are possible:

 Jones (1987) concluded that poor production quality can be related to…
 Jones (1987) has concluded that…
 Jones (1987) concludes that…

Good writers of literature reviews employ a range of citation patterns in order to vary their
sentences.

When introducing someone’s opinion, do not use ‘’says’’, but instead an appropriate verb
which more accurately reflects this viewpoint, such as ‘’argues’’, ‘’claims’’ or ‘’states’’. Use the
present tense for general opinions and theories, or the past when referring to specific
research or experiments:

Although Trescovick (2001) argues that attack is the best form of defence, Boycott
(1969) claims that…

In a field study carried out amongst the homeless of Sydney, Warne (1999) found that…

Remember at all times to avoid plagiarizing your sources. Always separate your source
opinions from your own hypothesis making sure you consistently reference the literature you

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are referring to. When you are doing your reading and making notes, you could use different
colours to distinguish between your ideas and those of others.

Combining Sources
Remember that in a literature review it is very important to indicate how the pieces of
information you are citing relate to one another. Sources which share similar views are
usually grouped together.

1c
Rewrite the following passage so that it groups the research better, does not repeat itself and
has more variety in the citation patterns. The paragraph is likely to become shorter.

The Origins of the First Business Article

The first business journal was started in London in 1765. Obviously, the first had no direct
model to build on, and several scholars have discussed possible influences. Anthony (1983)
suggests that the first articles developed from the scholarly letters that engineers were
accustomed to sending to each other. Smith (1986) showed that early articles were also
influenced by the newsletter reports of that time. Farmer (1987) described the influence of the
philosophical essay. Chaplin (1984) claimed that the scientific books of Mathew Boulton were
another model. Finally, Derwent (1988) argued that discussion among the engineers
themselves made its own contribution to the emergence of the business article.

1d
 Read the following example from a study of women’s experience of factory work.
 List the words/phrases used to (a) signal agreement among the quoted authors and (b) to
signal a shift from one point of view to another.

According to Daley (1966), women alleviated the pains of factory work by developing kinship
links with other workers. Similarly, Oxman (1972) found that adaptation to factory life was
facilitated by the creation of a pseudo-family. Skinner (1998) also notes that the female
subculture is based on personal relationships with other women workers. Others, however,
believe that the subculture in factories employing mainly women is undergoing a gradual shift
that more closely resembles that of predominantly male environments. Firnly (1982) states,
for example, that the cooperative caring community that has embodied characterizations of
female employees has evolved into a more dynamic and competitive climate.

5.4 Using the Literature to Support your Ideas in the Rest of your Essay

We shall now try to identify a little more closely how writers – both students and academics –
refer to the literature to provide support for their ideas. Two short extracts from academic
texts and one extract from a Pre-sessional student’s essay have been chosen to highlight
some of the ways in which you can show your understanding of the literature in your writing
and develop your argument(s) successfully.

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Task 28
 Either read the three extracts that follow (taken from different sources) and answer the
questions below, or work in groups of three – with each student reading a different extract
– and then compare your answers for the three extracts.
 Highlight all references made to the literature. How many can you find?
 Identify the different ways in which reference to the literature has been made.
 Take note of the mechanics or referencing conventions used in the text.
 What is the precise role of the reference made?
 What is the balance between the writer’s own input or comment and the reference?

Extract 1 ‘Old Friends, New Faces: Motivation Research in the 1990s’

Employee performance is frequently described as a joint function of ability and motivation,

and one of the primary tasks facing a manager is motivating employees to perform to the best
of their ability (Moorhead and Griffin, 1998). In fact, motivation has been described as, “…one
of the most pivotal concerns of modern organizational research” (Baron, 1991:1).

But what exactly is work motivation? Pinder (1998) describes work motivation as the set of
internal and external forces that initiate work-related behaviour, and determine its form,
direction, density, and duration. The definition recognises the influence of both environmental
forces (e.g. organizational reward systems, the nature of the work being performed) and
forces inherent in the person (e.g., individual needs and motives) on work-related behaviour.

An essential feature of the definition is that it views work motivation as an invisible, internal,
hypothetical construct (Pinder, 1998). We cannot see work motivation nor can we measure it
directly. Instead we rely on established theories to guide us in measuring the observable
manifestations of work motivation. For some theories (e.g., equity theory), work motivation is
expected to manifest itself in both attitudinal (e.g., satisfaction) and behavioural (e.g.,
performance) measures, whereas for other theories (e.g., goal setting) the primary
manifestation of work motivation is behavioural (e.g., enhanced performance when ability is
held constant)…

Motivation research has a long history of considering employee motives and needs (Alderfer,
1969; Maslow, 1954; McClelland, 1961). Interest in these areas peaked in the 1970s and
early 1980s, and the last 15 years has seen little empirical or theoretical research. The
majority of work on motives and needs in the 1990s falls into three areas: an examination of
the job attributes that motivates individuals, research that examines need for achievement,
and research on the protestant work ethic.

Source: Ambrose, M. & Kulik, C.T. (1999) Journal of Management, vol.25 (3) 231-292).

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Extract 2 Quality Circles

For many people quality is synonymous with quality circles. They are an essential feature of
Japanese total quality control methods. The Japanese TQC philosophy is essentially a
blending of the statistical process control ideas of Deming, with quality circles. Mito (1990:
100) in his book, The Honda Book of Management says of them, “TQC and QC circle
activities have proved effective in raising worker morale and bringing about qualitative
improvements in management wherever they are practised anywhere in the world”.

The extensive use of quality circles has been much greater in Japan than elsewhere,
although they originated in the U.S.A.

Quality circles are considered an essential part of quality processes in Japan, whereas they
are not in the West. This may have something to do with their voluntary and after-hours image
which does not fit easily into Western industrial culture. In the West, teams and teamwork
have been emphasised in place of quality circles. It is interesting that in one of the most
influential of US practical guides to TQM The Team Handbook, by Scholtes and contributors,
there are no references to quality circles, whereas Kaoru Ishikawa, who was one of the
leading Japanese writers on quality, sees them as the basis of the quality improvement
process. Ishikawa (1985) charts the development of the quality movement in Japan from its
origins in the early 1950’s through the growth of the quality circle movement. He describes
quality circles as small groups based upon mutual trust, which voluntarily perform quality
control activities within the workplace, and which use quality control methods and techniques.
The aim of quality circles, Ishikawa suggests, is to:
 Contribute to the improvement and development of the exercise.
 Respect humanity and build a worthwhile-to-live happy and bright workshop.
 Exercise human capabilities fully, and eventually draw out infinite possibilities (Ishikawa,
1985: 140).

The only major difference between quality improvement teams and quality circles is
voluntarism. This is, however, a principle which Ishikawa believes to be of fundamental
importance. He does not believe that quality circles should come under the command of a
superior. The voluntarism principle stops some people from becoming too dependent on
others. Strictly, formally designated groups such as course teams cannot be quality circles.
Whether there is a real difference between quality circles and teams, or whether it is a matter
of semantics can be debated. What unites the two is of more importance. Both are based on
the idea that there is synergy to be gained from working in a structured and self-directed way
to improve the service being provided.

Atkinson (1990), writing about experiments with quality circles in further education colleges,
also comes much to the same conclusions. He argues that where quality circles have been
experimented with they have proved a beneficial means of staff development, particularly for
support staff whose training has often been neglected. His conclusions are that quality circles
work best among natural work groups, and need to be supported with resources such as
consultant time, facilitator time and places to meet. He concludes his study with the words:
“Quality circles are not a panacea, but they can have dramatic results in terms of staff
involvement, morale and identification with the aims of the organization. There are no
disadvantages to introducing a quality circle programme, only varied levels of success” (ibid:
89).

Extract taken from Sallis, E. (1990) Total Quality Management in Education. London: Kogan Page.

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Extract 3 Child Labour

Many M.N.C.s (Multinational Corporations) use cheap labour and in the worst part, in some
cases they use under age employees or child labour. However, the M.N.C.’s executives deny
that such problems are happening with their business partners. For example Reebok in China
claims to have set up the “Reebok Human Rights Protection Standard” to monitor their
business partners and send a delegation to investigate their supplier’s factories regularly, so
there should be no safety problems and exploitation on behalf of their business partners.

In its “Human Rights Protection Standard” (Reebok, quoted in Can Ka Wai, 1996:56) Reebok
affirms, “Reebok will not work with business partners that use forced or other compulsory
labour”. However, workers in the Yong Shing Factory a factory belonging to the Liang Shing
group, another Reebok supplier, are only allowed to go out of the compound on weekend
nights. In the daytime, workers are watched by security guards when they go to the canteen
and dormitory. M.N.C.s never seriously monitor their business partners. When they sub-
contract business to their business partners in Hong Kong, Taiwan, South Korea they do it
simply to avoid criticism about their direct involvement in the exploitation of Chinese workers
and Chinese children (Can Ka Wai, 1996).

In contrast, however, Quinlivan (2001:21) states that from 1980 to 1998 world child labour
rates (the percentage of children working between the ages of ten and fourteen) tumbled from
20 to 13%. Child labour rates dropped from 27 to 10% in East Asia and the Pacific, from 13 to
9% in Latin America and the Caribbean, and from 14 to 5% in the Middle East and North
Africa. Interestingly, regions lacking M.N.C.s had the worst child labour rates and the smallest
reductions: sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia’s child labour rates dropped from 35 to 30%
and from 23 to 16% respectively. This reduction in rates was attributable to increased family
income, which has permitted families to improve their diets, to have better homes, and to
provide their children with more educational opportunities. School enrolment rates for ages six
to twenty-three rose for all developing countries from 46% in 1960 to 57% in 1995. Only sub-
Saharan Africa had an enrolment ratio below 50% in 1995.

Our thanks to Syarifian, Pre-sessional student, 2001.

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Task 29
Reference to sources appears in different ways and is used for different purposes. Look at the
references you have highlighted in the three extracts and complete the chart below:

Reference Type Example Purpose

As part of a definition of
A direct quotation followed “…one of the most pivotal
the term motivation and
by the author, date of concerns of modern
to highlight its
publication, page organizational research” (Baron,
importance in
reference. 1991:1). [extract 1]
organizational research.
A paraphrase preceded by
the author (used as
subject) and followed by
the date of publication.
A general statement
referring to more than one To identify and
piece of research followed summarise general
by a number of relevant trends in motivation
authors and dates of research.
publication.
In its “Human Rights Protection
Standard”, (quoted in Can Ka
A reference to a secondary Wai, 1996:56) Reebok affirms,
source or author in a “Reebok will not work with
primary work. business partners that use forced
or other compulsory labour”.
[extract 3]
Atkinson (1990), writing about
experiments with quality circles in
further education colleges, also
To note a key finding in
comes much to the same
a piece of research that
conclusions…He concludes his
supports the main idea
study with the words:
developed in the
“Quality circles are not a
A reference to the section.
panacea, but they can have
immediately preceding
dramatic results in terms of staff
reference. The quote completes
involvement, morale and
the paragraph well by
identification with the aims of the
giving the reader a
organization. There are no
memorable conclusion
disadvantages to introducing a
of the main point.
quality circle programme, only
varied levels of success” (ibid:
89). [extract 2]

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5.5 Producing a Paraphrase

Now that we have seen how and when writers refer to other sources in their work, we can
practise some of the language techniques students find useful as they develop the skills of
producing a paraphrase, referencing and using quotations in their writing. If you feel you need
extra help in these areas, ask your teacher. Please also consult the ‘BME Citation &
Reference Guide – Harvard Referencing System’ for an in-depth guide to identifying
plagiarism and the potential penalties incurred. Producing a good paraphrase is an essential
skill for postgraduate students and other academic writers to master; however, there is often a
fine line between skilfully producing a paraphrase and plagiarism. For many overseas
students, this can be difficult to distinguish.

What is Plagiarism?
Plagiarism is a very serious academic offence. It is best defined as a deliberate activity – the
conscious copying of the exact words or ideas or data of an author and using this material
without acknowledging the original writer. In Western academic tradition, original ideas and
expressions are the acknowledged property of their creators, rather like an invention. It is
therefore not respectful, but very disrespectful and unethical to use their ideas without any
acknowledgement. Students are warned against this form of academic stealing at the
beginning of their university courses. Both native English students and non-native students
are tempted to plagiarise at some time in their academic lives, usually as a result of:
 Insufficient understanding of the original material
 A lack of awareness of how to produce a paraphrase
 Limited ability to make large scale language revisions
 Lack of confidence in English
 Cultural differences in writing
 Time pressures

Tutors do not expect students to produce writing of a similar standard to a professional native
writer. This is often why it is so easy for tutors to be able to spot plagiarism. Follow the rules
of good writing and proofread your work carefully, as this way, both your writing and your
English will improve.

Task 30
Examine the approaches to writing given in the box below. These begin with a plagiarizing
approach and end with an acceptable quoting technique. Decide where you think plagiarism
stops and producing an acceptable paraphrase begins by drawing a line between the two
approaches.

1. Copying a paragraph as it is from the source without any acknowledgement.

2. Copying a paragraph making only small changes, such as replacing a few verbs or
adjectives with synonyms.
3. Cutting and pasting a paragraph by using the sentences of the original but leaving one or
two out, or by putting one or two in a different order.
4. Composing a paragraph by taking short standard phrases from a number of sources and
putting them together with some words of your own.
5. Producing a paraphrase of a paragraph by rewriting with substantial changes in language
and organization, amount of detail, and examples.
6. Quoting a paragraph by placing it in block format with the source cited.

Swales, J. & Feak, C.B. (1994) Academic Writing for Graduate Students. Ann Arbor: University of Michigan Press.

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How can Plagiarism be Avoided?

If you want to use the ideas and arguments of a writer, you should create a paraphrase of the
original source, that is, use your own words.

Look at the following clear example of plagiarism, where the student has only made minor
changes to the original:

The Original:

Today we can distinguish between a marketplace and a marketspace. The marketplace is

physical, as when one goes shopping in a store; marketspace is digital, as when one goes
shopping on the Internet. Many observers believe that an increasing amount of purchasing
will shift from the marketplace.
Kotler, P. (2000) Marketing Management: Analysis, Planning, Implementation & Control. New Jersey: Prentice Hall,
p. 9.

Student’s Essay:
Today it is possible to distinguish between a marketplace and a marketspace. The
marketplace is physical, such as shopping in a shop; marketspace is digital, such as Internet
shopping. Many observers think that there will be an increasing amount of purchasing shifting
from the marketplace.

Now compare the paraphrase below with the original:

A Good Paraphrase:
There is a belief that an increasing number of consumers will move from the marketplace to
the marketspace. In other words, it is thought that in the future, many people will be using the
digital Internet to make their purchases, rather than a physical shop.

 In what ways is it different?

 In what ways is it the same?

When producing a paraphrase, it is important to remember the following:

 Your paraphrase must have the same meaning as the source.
 Use academic language in your paraphrase. Do not use colloquialisms, slang, proverbs
and idioms: these are forms of non-academic language.
 Use the technical words from the source as these help you to be precise.
 A successful paraphrase combines some of the language of the original with your own
words.
 Both grammar and vocabulary have to be controlled very skilfully.

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There are 7 basic techniques that can be used for producing a paraphrase. However,
remember that a successful paraphrase generally requires a combination of techniques.

Task 31
Compare the sources and paraphrases on the following pages and try to decide how the
language of the source has been changed in each case.

1. Changing Word Form (and the original sentence structure)

Source:
The entry of the company into several overseas markets has enabled the expansion and
better utilisation of the workforce with a resulting increase in output.

Paraphrase:
The firm has entered a number of foreign markets, which allows better use of more
employees as well as higher productivity.

2. Alternating Active & Passive Verbs

Source:
The level of motivation that exists in assembly line workers is very low compared with other
jobs.

Paraphrase:
Very negative attitudes are found in factory employees in comparison with other workers.

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3. Using Synonyms (without radical change to the original sentence structure)

Source:
Money earned by company employees in Western countries is generally much higher than in
non-Western countries, but this is nothing to do with the employees’ knowledge and skills.

Paraphrase:
The income of the workforce in the developed world is usually larger than in undeveloped or
emerging markets but this is not connected to job expertise.

4. Using Different Logical Connectors (and patterns of subordination & co-ordination)

Source:
Many management theories have been put forward to help us understand the concepts of
motivation and leadership. While they are interesting, some seem incomplete or flawed.

Paraphrase:
Although the many motivation and leadership theories which are promoted are were very
interesting, some seem inaccurate.

5. Changing the Order of the Information

Source:
The secret of success in financial management is to try to increase value.

Paraphrase:
To attempt to improve value is what all financial managers should aim for.

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6. ‘Packing’ Noun Groups (changing verbs and adjectives into noun structures to
provide more information)

Source:
We have seen that corporations raise money by selling financial assets such as stocks. This
increases both the amount of cash held by the company and the amount of cash held by the
public.

Paraphrase:
The raising of money by selling stocks enlarges the quantity of company-owned and public-
owned cash.

7. ‘Unpacking’ Noun Groups (changing nouns and adjectives into verb structures.)
This method is often used when writing a paraphrase. This is the opposite process to
that of packing the noun group. Producing a paraphrase often involves packing and
unpacking noun groups at the same time!

Source:
The expansion and consolidation of large companies into giant multinationals has been
increasing.

Paraphrase:
Major firms have increasingly been developing and joining together to form very large
multinational businesses.

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In the next sections there are some exercises which will practice identifying types of
paraphrase techniques. You will also get the chance to practise using a combination of these
techniques.

Task 32
Producing a Paraphrase

Exercises
Which combination of techniques has been used in these paraphrased summaries?

1. Source Paraphrase

It became widely accepted towards the end The necessity of management accountability
of the 80’s that management had to become to shareholders became more generally
more accountable to shareholders. acceptable towards the end of the 80’s.

2. Source Paraphrase
When corporations raise cash, some of that When companies generate revenue, some of
cash is provided directly by individual that money is provided directly by
investors, but the greater proportion comes independent backers, but the majority comes
from financial institutions. The finance from financial institutions. The finance
manager is the link between the firm and manager is the intermediary between them
these institutions. and the company.

3. Source Paraphrase
Although the shareholders own the The elected board of directors is the
corporation, they do not manage it. Instead, representative of the shareholders, not the
they vote to elect a board of directors. This owner of the corporation. The board is
board represents the shareholders. It also responsible for the management of the
appoints top management and is supposed to company, the appointment of top
ensure that the managers act in the management and ensuring that the managers
shareholders’ best interests. act in the best interests of the shareholders.

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4. Source Paraphrase

Even if managers quit or are dismissed and The survival of the corporation is secure,
replaced, the corporation will continue to despite possible resignations, dismissals and
survive. Today’s shareholders can sell all replacements among the management team.
their shares to new investors without Shares can be sold to new investors without
disrupting the operation of the business. disruption to the business operation.

5. Source Paraphrase

The majority of audits in the largest Despite the few very large accountancy firms
companies are performed by the few, very acquiring most of their income from the
large firms of accountants, who, strangely provision of non-audit services to their clients,
enough, derive the bulk of their income from they carry out the majority of the large
selling non-audit services to their clients. company audits.

Task 33
Using a combination of any of the above techniques as appropriate, create paraphrased
summaries of the following short extracts:

1. Original Your Paraphrase

The majority of audits in the largest

companies are performed by the few, very
large firms of accountants, who, strangely
enough, derive the bulk of their income from
selling non-audit services to their clients.

2. Original Your Paraphrase

In mid-1996, the price of platinum surged on

the world’s markets as threatened strike
action led to concerns about the metal’s
availability.

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3. Original Your Paraphrase

Growing health consciousness and social
pressures on smokers in western countries
have affected the sales of tobacco products
in these markets. This situation led to
controversial advertising campaigns by
companies such as Philip Morris, which
attempted to play down the risks of passive
smoking in an attempt to protect their market,
and a switch by tobacco companies into
concentrating their efforts on the developing
world.

4. Original Your Paraphrase

Benchmarking seeks to assess the
competences of an organisation against ‘best
in class’ wherever that is to be found.
Benchmarking can start in simple ways –
often revealing some startling differences. It
has, however, been developed into a much
more comprehensive audit of organisations’
competences and critical success factors in
both the public and private sectors.

Task 34
Now write a short paraphrase of the following text:

“Today, more than ever, organizations are searching for a competitive edge, a strategic
uniqueness, which will distinguish them from their competition. In retailing, even huge
hyperstores no longer have the advantage of large price differentials. Intense competition has
eroded this pricing advantage to a considerable extent, and stores have begun to concentrate
on other mechanisms for achieving points of difference. One of the strategic routes seen as
an answer by many academics and practitioners has been an increased concentration on
customer satisfaction, courting the customer through a focus on service quality. If successfully
applied, the approach has very frequently demonstrated improved profits, increased market
share and customer loyalty. Expressed simply, companies providing high service quality as
perceived by their customers, tend to be the most profitable companies. On the other hand,
poor service has been identified as the primary reason why customers switch to competitors.”

Source: Nel, D. and Pitt, L. (1993) ‘Service quality in a retail environment: closing the gaps’. Journal of General
Management, 18 (3), p. 37

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A Good Paraphrase:
 Expresses the ideas of the original source correctly
 Is grammatically correct
 Contains very little from the original source except unchangeable, technical terms
 Should be written in your own style, even if this seems less impressive than the original
 Should not vary too much in length from the original
 Uses a combination of the methods listed above

You can achieve this by:

 Reading the source carefully
 Underlining the main points
 Making a note of the source THEN putting it down
 Writing the main points in your own words
 Constructing well-formed sentences
 Joining the sentences together logically

5.6 Reading & Note-taking Strategies

Effective reading is related to efficient note-taking. In this section of the guidebook you will be
able to review your own note-taking techniques and experiment with a few alternative
strategies that may be new to you. It is important to be open-minded about using new
techniques, as the techniques you already have may now be insufficient to deal with the
amount of reading you will have to do.

Task 35
1. First reflect on how you take and organise your own notes. Are any of the following true for
you?
I don’t take (m)any notes when I read.
My notes are very clear to read – I can use them later without any difficulty, or even
lend them to a friend.
I always know which books I used for my general reading that I need to return to
when it comes to writing my essay.
I find it difficult to pick out the main points when I read – everything seems so
important!
I usually start off by making detailed notes, but this gets tiring so I give up.
It’s a waste of time making notes; I prefer to just photocopy the pages I want and
underline the important parts.
I always skim-read a chapter of a book before I start making notes.
I vary my note-taking techniques depending on the content of the chapter.
Sometimes it can be more useful and quicker to draw a diagram or put the
information into a chart.

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2. Compare your answers with those of the people in your group. Decide together what you
think good note-taking consists of and write your answers in the box below:

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Task 36
Read the article below and take notes on a separate piece of paper. Do this BEFORE you
turn to the next page.

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Task 37
1. Now look at your notes and think about the way they look and how you carried out the
task. Read the following statements and tick those that apply to you:

I skimmed the whole article before I began to read.

I began to take notes immediately.

I have organised my notes carefully on the page.

If I need these notes in the future I will be able to understand them.

I think that the organisation of the ideas in the text is the same as in my notes.

I have recorded the source of the information in my notes.

2. When you have finished, compare your notes to those in the answer key at the back of this
book. Note any similarities in the layout.
Please do not look at the answer key before you read the article!
3. What do you consider the main differences to be? Work with your group and explore other
ways of recording the information.
4. In the BME Reading Guide, there is a section on SQ3R where you will find suggestions on
reading and note-taking techniques.

There are two main problems associated with making notes while you read a book
or article:
1. You are likely to make far too many notes because it can be difficult to pick out the main
ideas from the supporting detail.
2. You can easily fall into the trap of copying large chunks from the text rather than producing
a paraphrase of the material or expressing the author’s ideas in your own words. If you
then use these notes in your essay you may be accused of plagiarism, or copying, which is
a serious offence in the university.

Summary of Note-taking Techniques

 Skim-read the chapter or article
 Assess the source
 Decide if it is relevant to your needs
 Note the overall aim of the text
 Highlight the main points only
 Think about what you have read
 Write your notes in your own words without looking at the text
 Read the text again to check your notes
 Try to map out the text so that you have a framework which clearly shows the
development of the writer’s ideas
 Add any examples, key data or statistics
 Record the bibliographic reference
 File your notes carefully!

5.6.1 Data Falsification

The falsification of data involves the deliberate misrepresentation or rendition of facts,
figures, images or other information. For example, this may include the manipulation of
citation details, or the modification of statistics, or presenting partially or wholly

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inaccurate data to suit a particular purpose. In essence, this is usually where the student
knowingly deceives the reader by changing or distorting the truth. Data falsification is an
academic offence.

5.6.2 Data Fabrication

The fabrication of data involves the creation of information. When compared to the
above, this may include inventing citation details, concocting statistical data, or
presenting fake data. Again, any student who undertakes this activity does so with the
deliberate intention to deceive. Data fabrication is, therefore, a form of academic
misconduct.

5.7 Analysis & Synthesis

Aim
This page gives information and examples of how to describe different opinions, how to
analyse them, and how to give your own opinion.

Background
Synthesis is the result of comparing two contrasting ideas. The original idea is called a 'thesis'
and the second, opposite idea is called an 'anti-thesis'. In academic writing it is often
necessary for writers to consider different points of view and decide whether to support one
point of view, the other point of view, a combination of them, or neither of them. This can be
followed by, and support, the writer's opinion.

In the following example the writer summarises the arguments of the two authors before
giving the synthesis. You can see the synthesis written in three different ways.
Text 1 (Thesis) Text 2 (Anti-thesis)
Globalization facilitates developing countries There is significant evidence that
to engage with the rest of the world and in so globalization increases the inequality
doing, increase their economic growth, between the rich and the poor, enabling
solving the poverty problem in their country. developing countries to increase their
In the past, developing countries were not economic growth. This may seem like a rosy
able to become a part of the world economy picture for world poverty but in actual fact,
due to trade barriers etc. and as such, they this is not the case. Many developing nations
were unable to share the same economic do benefit from globalization but then again,
growth that the developed countries had. many such nations do lag behind. In the past
However, with globalization, the IMF and the two decades, China and India have grown
World Bank have encouraged developing faster than the already rich nations. However,
countries to undergo market reforms and countries such as Africa still have the highest
structural changes through large loans. Most poverty rates. In fact, the rural areas of China
developing countries started to take steps to which do not tap global markets also suffer
open up their markets by eliminating tariffs greatly from such high poverty. Now, why do
and deregulating their economies etc. and some developing nations benefit while others
eventually, multi-national corporations do not? The answer lies with the theory of
(MNCs) from developed countries were able globalization in itself. Those countries which
to invest in these developing nations, creating have successfully used the ideal policies
jobs for the poor. For example, rapid growth which the IMF and the World Bank (the IMF
in India and China has caused world poverty and World Bank push for globalization) have
to decline. Between 1987 and 1998, the proposed will stand to benefit more while
share of the world's population that is poor those who fail to, will be on the losing end. As

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fell from about 25 percent to 21 percent; the such, when we look at globalization, it is
absolute number fell from an estimated 1.2 actually not the case that globalization has
billion to 1.1 billion. caused some of the developing nations to
benefit a lot but rather it has caused many to
Brown, M.J. (2000). The impact of be left out altogether.
globalisation on developing countries. Journal
of Economic Development, 23(1), 129-142. Smith, A. J. (2003). Retrieved February 22,
2012 from The Hong Kong University, The
English Language Centre Web site:
http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/CILL/eap/economics.ht
m
Synthesis

Example 1

The effects of globalisation on developing nations are controversial. Although Brown (2000),
states that lowering barriers and tariffs has made it easier for such countries to join world
markets, Smith (2003) argues that problems are caused by the uneven distribution of benefits
on a regional and a continental basis. It may be suggested that the disparity results from a
time lag effect in which benefits have not yet reached such areas and may not for some time
to come.

Example 2

The effects of globalisation on developing nations are controversial. Brown (2000,) suggests
that lowering barriers and tariffs has made it easier for such countries to join world markets.
However, Smith (2003) points out that problems are caused by the uneven distribution of
benefits on a regional and a continental basis.It could be argued that the disparity results from
a time lag effect in which benefits have not yet reached such areas and may not for some
time to come.

Example 3

The effects of globalisation on developing nations are controversial. According to Brown

(2000,), lowering barriers and tariffs has made it easier for such countries to join world
markets. Smith (2003) disagrees, and argues that problems are caused by the uneven
distribution of benefits on a regional and a continental basis. It may be contended that the
disparity is due to a time lag effect in which benefits have not yet reached such areas and
may not for some time to come.

The words in red are useful for synthesising.

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Task 38
1a Write your synthesis in the box then compare your answers with a partner.

Through increased economic growth, living

standards and life expectancy for the poor are
Globalization does enable the spread of
inevitably improved. With more wealth,
diseases from developed nations to
developing nations are able to provide better
developing ones. Due to increased trade and
health care services and sanitation for its
travel, diseases like HIV/AIDS, SARS and bird
people. The poor will not be plagued with
flu etc. are facilitated across borders. One
diseases which arise from dirty water and
example is that of Africa. In Africa alone, the
improper health care and as such, people fall
AIDS crisis has reduced the life expectancy of
ill less often, increasing life expectancy. In
its people to less than 33 years. In fact, the
fact, with more money, the government of
influx of MNCs onto developing nations’ soil
developing countries can also provide
also causes diseases which are common in
education for the poor. Illiteracy rates will thus
developed countries, to spread in developing
decrease. This is seen in Morocco, a
nations. For example, with globalization, fast
developing country, whose illiteracy rate fell to
food restaurants like McDonald’s and
39 percent just recently, in 2009. All in all,
cigarette-producing firms are likely to employ
living standards and life expectancy of
the cheap labour in developing countries.
developing nations increase through
When these MNCs arrive, the locals will tend
economic gains from globalization. According
to be influenced by them and thus, start to
to the World Bank, with globalization, more
consume fast food and smoke cigarettes.
than 85 percent of the world’s population can
Eventually, diseases, like obesity and lung
expect to live for at least sixty years and this
cancer, will plague the poor and this will
is actually twice as long as the average life
become a serious problem, causing a huge
expectancy 100 years ago.
financial burden to the developing nation.

Walker, F. (2001). Globalisation and Health.

Smith, F. J. (2003). Killing the World Glasgow:
In S. Peters (Ed.), Research into the effects of
Glasgow University Publications
the global market (pp. 108-124). London: St
Martin’s Press.

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1b Write your synthesis in the box and discuss it with your partner.

Doubts about the value of English are

raised when we consider the economic
performance of certain EFL and ESL
countries in recent decades. In the post-
World War II period Japan and Germany
have been two of the most dynamic
economies in the world. In the case of
Japan, where English is learned as a Chan (2003, p.25) argues that the value of English
foreign language, it would be is doubtful for two reasons, firstly the economic
reasonable to argue that very few success of countries where English is rarely
employees possess high levels of spoken, such as Japan, and secondly because of
proficiency in the language. While it is the lack of economic development of some
true that English levels in Germany are countries in which English is widely spoken, such
higher than in Japan, it must be as India and the Philippines.
remembered that the language is still
learned as a foreign language. Unlike However, there are many factors that influence the
Hong Kong, it is not used as the economic performance of a country. These include
medium of instruction at secondary and location, history, raw materials, education, politics
tertiary levels in Germany; nor has it and culture.
enjoyed the status of an official
language (e.g. in government and the Chan may therefore be overestimating the
law). Another point to consider is that importance of English as a factor in the economic
English is widely used as a second success of a country, and therefore unfairly
language in Asia (e.g. the Philippines, criticising it.
India) and Africa (e.g. Kenya,
Zimbabwe). If (as some business people Smith, A. J. (2003).Synthesis. Retrieved February
in Hong Kong claim) the use of English 22, 2012 from The Hong Kong Polytechnic
is so important to a country’s economic University, The English Language Centre Web
development, why are ESL countries site:
like the Philippines significantly less http://elc.polyu.edu.hk/CILL/eap/synthesis.htm
prosperous than EFL countries like
Japan and Germany? (extracted from p.
25)

Extracted from Chan, A. (2003). EUL:

English as a useless language. English
Review, 5(3), 22-34.

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5.8 Critical Reading

You will find that in British universities, lecturers expect their students to take an analytical
approach to their writing. It is often difficult to know what this means, but by reading more
critically, you can actually write more analytically.

Critical reading means that you have to distinguish between fact and opinion and to
understand the writer’s own viewpoint. You will also have to relate these perspectives to
those of other writers on the same subject. It is very useful to read academic texts critically -
in the same way as you would read an advertisement, a review of a film or book, or political
and journalistic expression. If you do not usually read in this way, try the following critical
reading approach:

1. Read the introduction to look for the aims and approach of the writer. What type of thinking
does he or she represent? What is the basis and overall direction of the argument?
2. Formulate some questions in your own mind, relate the writer’s opinion to what you already
know or believe about the topic.
3. Read the conclusion and pick out the points the writer tried to argue. Make a note of these.
4. Read and re-read each section bearing in mind the aims and conclusions of the writer.
Notice and evaluate the examples and evidence given in support of their argument. Do you
agree with these? Does anything surprise you?
5. Structure your notes to show the main points, the arguments used and examples given.
Then compare these with notes taken from other sources showing a different perspective
or viewpoint.
6. Try to describe the differences – you may have realised that some important events took
place that changed the way we see things, some important piece of technology may have
changed the way we do things or that a particular theory may have been disproved.

Now look back on the article on globalisation and apply the critical reading approach. Does
anything surprise you? Why do you think this is? How do you think the information gained
from the survey would change in light of current events?

Task 39 (Optional writing exercise)

Using information about attitudes to risk and risk management in US and European
companies from the survey in the article on globalisation and any further relevant research,
write a short essay (250 words) on the following:

Discuss the view that globalisation has increased risks for businesses and outline
some of the ways in which companies try to limit these risks.

5.9 Recording your Sources

In this Guide, we will take a close look at in-text citations using the Harvard Referencing
System. We will start by focusing on the importance of recording your sources when you are
reading and taking notes in preparation for your essay or project.

For a full and complete guide to the Harvard system, please refer to BME Citation &
Reference Guide – Harvard Referencing System.

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This section, which is designed to be an additional review exercise, should only be completed
after studying the separate referencing Guide.

Remember that if you do not record your sources accurately, you will waste a
significant amount of time looking for this information later.

You will need this information in its full form when you:
 Write your list of references or a bibliography. Remember: you must include the former at
the end of your work. The reason for this is to give enough information for the reader to
gain access to the original work referred to

Knowing what type of information to quote, how much you should quote and whether you
should quote or simply paraphrase the author’s idea is a special skill that requires
considerable practise. If you can develop good judgement and skill in this area your tutors will
be very satisfied when they read your work.

5.10 Recording Bibliographic Data

Key points:
 The author-date or Harvard Referencing System is the most widely used in the Arts and
Social Sciences. It is very comprehensive and practical; the system covers the referencing
of books, journals, conference papers, newspaper articles and electronic sources.
 Information about the source of the reference is usually added into the main body of the
text (in-text referencing). This is covered in other chapters of this Guide and in Part
Three of the BME CITATION AND REFERENCE GUIDE Harvard Referencing System.
 University departments usually provide referencing guidelines for students. An electronic
guide can also be found under the Library Information Sources section of the University of
Birmingham’s website:
https://intranet.birmingham.ac.uk/as/libraryservices/icite/index.aspx

 It is your responsibility to find out which system is used in the department where you will
be studying and to follow the advice or guidelines given.

Task 40
As a reminder of the Harvard System write a reference for this handbook in the box below.

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5.11 Practice Review of Using Harvard System

Task 41
Now write the bibliographic data you will need for each of the six extracts on this and the
following pages. Then, assemble them into a mini-bibliography in the space given at the end
of the exercise.

Bibliographic Extract 1

Reference
th
Handy, C. (1993) Understanding Organisations, 4 Edition. London: Penguin Books Ltd.

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Bibliographic Extract 2

Reference
Ambrose, M.L. & Kulik, C.T. (1999) ‘Old Friends…………..’. Journal of Management, 25
(3),: 231-292.

Bibliographic Extract 3

Reference

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Bibliographic Extract 4

Executive editor James Pickford Subeditor Ken Pottinger

fT Mastering designer Gabrielle Izen Graphics Graham Parish
PEARSON EDUCATION LIMITED
Head Office:
Edinburgh Gate
Harlow CM20 2JE
Tel: +44 (0)1279623623 Fax: +44 (0)1279431059
London Office: 128 Long Acre
London WC2E 9AN
Tel: +44 (0)2074472000 Fax. +44 (0)2072405771
Website: www.business-minds.com
First published in Great Britain in 2001

Reference

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Bibliographic Extract 5

[Accessed 2/3/2004]

Reference

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Bibliographic Extract 6

www.guardian.co.uk

[Accessed 1/12/2003]

Reference

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Your Mini Bibliography:

Tip Box
 Remember to list your entries in alphabetical order by surname
 Pay careful attention to punctuation, capitalisation and use of italics
 Indent your entries so that the author’s name stands out or leave a space between each
entry
 Proofread your entries carefully for accuracy

Check your bibliography against the answers provided by your teacher.

Further practice on using references in academic writing, and assembling a reference

list/bibliography is provided in later sections of this guidebook.

Some Useful Reflections:

1. Large scale paraphrases are neither necessary nor desirable. A short paraphrase is
useful to give a definition of a concept, a writer’s key idea, finding or conclusion, or to
summarise a set of statistics or other data. This must then be used as support for your
argument, whether you are introducing a concept, contrasting two points of view,
comparing opinions or practices or proving a point in your discussion. Remember to
include the reference (author and date, but no page no.). Aim for a balance between your
argument and your use of paraphrase and quotation. Beware of large scale paraphrased
summarising as this can easily lead to plagiarism!

2. Be faithful to your sources. Copy quotations carefully and always include the reference
(author, date and page no.). This shows academic rigour and integrity. If you need to use
secondary references, remember that the source from which the secondary reference was
taken must appear in your reference list. However, it is far better to follow up the
reference yourself and read it in the original context. Try to read beyond the specially
written textbooks for students by reading key research in its original published version.

3. You do not need titles of references or websites in your text. Do not post links to
related information in your text (except where the author is unknown). It is your
responsibility as the writer to extract the relevant and necessary information for your
reader.

4. Sometimes writers use the abbreviation et al when they refer to a work published by
several authors, e.g.: Starkey and Mckinlay (1993) in Mabey et al (1998)… This is useful

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when there are more than three authors; however, the full series of names must appear
in your reference list: Mabey, C., Salaman, G., Smith, A. & Storey, J. (eds.) (1998)
Strategic Human Resource Management. London: Sage.

5.12 Reporting Verbs

5.12.1 Discussing Research

When discussing research or describing key management models, you usually need to
say what the writers did (the AIM of the study) and what they focus on from their
argument:

Task 42
Read the following sentence:

Kotter (1990) studied over 100 companies going through change processes and
decisively concludes that the following are the most common errors made…

a. Which tense is used to report what the writer did?

b. Which tense is used to report on the writer’s argument or opinion?

Task 43
In each of the following extracts, underline the verb that reports:
a. What the writers did or the results that he or she achieved?
b. What the writer’s argument or opinion is?

1. In 1966, Hofstede undertook what would become recognised as the most

authoritative research initiative on the subject of national cultural differences.

2. Compliance patterns play an important role in organisational structure. Etzione

(1965) developed a typology for organisations based on compliance relations by
combining three kinds of power with three kinds of involvement.

3. Porter (1998) identifies five fundamental competitive forces that determine the
relative attractiveness of an industry.

4. Belbin (1981) derived the concept of nine distinct and interdependent team roles
from his study of successful and unsuccessful teams competing in business games.

5. Kraljic’s (1983) purchasing model and the variations developed over the last
decades help management select the most appropriate purchasing strategies for
different types of products, thereby optimising the trade-off between cost and risk.

6. Handy (1978) uses four Greek gods to illustrate four more or less generic
management styles and their resulting organisational structures.

7. Many change processes fail in the absence of urgency, vision, infrastructure, know-
how and co-ordination. Based on client case studies, Berenschot (1991) devised the
seven forces model, outlining the seven forces that make things happen.

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8. Nolan’s (1979) theory of organisational data processing growth distinguishes a

number of phases in the development of information technology.

Now match extracts 1 to 8 with the sentences below and underline the verbs that show
what the writers found or concluded.

i. He argues that a mismatch between the organisation’s culture and how members
act according to their “gods” will negatively impact the effectiveness of the
organisation and of its members.

ii. He suggests that competitive analysis leads to insight in relationships and dynamics
in an industry, and allows a company or business unit to make strategic decisions
regarding the best defendable and most economically attractive position.

iii. The result was a massive quantity of data from which he eventually concludes that
there are five major dimensions that can describe a national culture.

iv. In order to be successful, a team and its members need to fulfil the following
complementary nine roles: shaper, implementer, completer/finisher, co-ordinator,
team worker, resource investigator, ‘plant’/creator/inventor, monitor /evaluator,
specialist. He states that team members with complementary roles are ‘richer’ and
more successful.

v. He believes that the model could help leaders understand the necessary elements
and structure of a change process and to bring order to the relevant forces.

vi. This model shows how companies can be “penny wise and pound foolish” in
purchasing management. It is relatively easy to implement and once accepted, can
have a major impact on the financial result.

vii. Based on his classification of compliance patterns, he concludes that there are three
types of formal organisations: normative organisations which people join voluntarily
because they consider the goals worthwhile, utilitarian organisations which people
join in pursuit of material rewards, and coercive organisations which people join
because they are forced to.

viii. He argues that there are specific, identifiable issues peculiar to each phase which
should be managed differently, so as to balance the ‘IT growth processes’.

5.12.2 Choosing Reporting Verbs According to their Meaning

When incorporating other writers into your work, you should choose a reporting verb
which reflects your own analysis and interpretation of what you think the author of a
source means. There are two main considerations when choosing a verb: its meaning
and its grammar.

The choice of reporting verb is significant. For example, consider the reporting verbs:
show; argue.

Show reports the finding as a RESULT or proven fact.

Argue reports the finding as an OPINION usually supported by logical analysis.

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Task 44
The following table summarises the most commonly used reporting verbs. Complete the
table with words from the box below. Note that some verbs (marked *) can be used to
introduce either results or opinion, depending on the context/grammar.

Aim of Study Results Opinion

investigate show state

examine suggest* believe

analyse find argue

look at indicate note

focus on conclude*

report (on)

be concerned with

study

identify (…) as point out prove

consider establish confirm
demonstrate emphasize reveal
hold claim stress

Opinions can be expressed strongly, mildly or in a neutral way. Add ++ next to a verb
which you think expresses a strong opinion, + for a mild expression of opinion and a –
where you think the expression is neutral.

5.12.3 The Grammar of Reporting Verbs

There are three basic forms that are used with reporting verbs:

 Verb + noun
e.g.: Levitt (1976) proposes greater industrialisation of services processes, replacing
human activity with technology.

 Verb + that + sentence

e.g.: Berry et al (1998) argue that once an organization establishes a favourable brand
image its main task is to ensure consistency.

 Verb + ‘wh’ word + sentence

e.g.: Freeman (1987) shows how stakeholders can affect the achievement of an
organization’s purpose.

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Task 45
The table below shows the grammatical patterns that reporting verbs can often take.
Complete the table below in a similar way.

Verb + that + Verb + ‘wh’ word +

Verb Verb + noun
sentence sentence
report   

find   

suggest   

claim   

conclude   

show   

point out   

identify   

indicate   

reveal   

Verb + that + Verb + ‘wh’ word +

Verb Verb + noun
sentence sentence
prove

state

declare

contend

say

argue

discuss

examine

criticise

define

propose

Note that in informal speech and writing, we often leave out that in reporting sentences:
He said [that] it was late.
She promised [that] she would finish the work.

However, that is commonly used in academic writing:

Miner et al (1994) found that the motivational variable of task theory predicted
entrepreneurial success five years later.

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Task 46
Exercise 1
Choose a suitable verb or verbs for the following sentences paying careful attention to
both grammar and meaning:

1. Kotler (2001) notes/identifies/discusses that there are many more ways in which
people manage to make mistakes in efforts of change.
2. Kay (1993) examines/finds/argues that successful creation and management of
contracts and relationships within and around the enterprise create added value.
3. Gill (1977) identifies/reports/finds that 67% of her respondents regarded appraisal
schemes as valueless.
4. Hertzberg (1957) concludes/reveals/shows how job satisfaction and dissatisfaction
are created by job content and context or ‘hygiene’ factors.
5. Covey (1999) claims/suggests/proves that highly effective people have seven
habits that make them very successful in life and business.

Exercise 2
Now correct these sentences, if necessary, or put a  next to them if you think they are
correct:

1. Marklin (1998) discusses that the adoption of Just-in-Time delivery systems was the
decisive factor for Japanese economic success in the 1980s.

2. Belbin (1981) identified that nine different roles played by management team
members.

3. Beer et al (1990) conclude most change management programmes are guided by a

theory of change which is fundamentally flawed.

4. Coyle (1996) analysed that in ten years’ time nearly half the workforce would be
covered by ‘flexible’ arrangements such as temporary employment, self-employment
and part-time jobs.

5. Burgoyne (1988) points out that being competent is different from having
competencies.

5.12.4 Using Quotations

As you will have seen, it is sometimes preferable to quote the original author’s words in
your essay. However, you should only quote that which is relevant and necessary to your
argument. Direct quotations (i.e. using the exact words of an author) are used in the
following instances:

 When you feel that the exact wording of the original cannot be improved upon
 When you wish to quote the words of an authority or expert on the subject
 When you want to be sure there is no ambiguity or misunderstanding of the source
material

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Task 47
Read the advice below about quotations and answer each question that follows:
1. Copy your quotation accurately; it is considered bad academic practice to misquote,
or to make a mistake. Check the quotation very carefully after including it in your
essay. How can you signal to the reader that there is a mistake (e.g. a spelling error)
in the original quote?

2. Remember to give the short reference (author, date and page number) in the main
body and the full bibliographic citation in the reference list attached to the end of your
work. In the main body, page numbers are always required in two cases: for direct
quotations and…?

3. A quotation should be relevant and integrated into your own words, both
semantically and grammatically. What is wrong with the following extract?

Brown (1998:23) has defined the concept of motivation at work as: “The concept of
motivation at work is the desire to perform to the maximum potential.”

4. Your quotation must relate to what you have written before and after it. It is often
used to support a point you have already made in your own words. This means you
must show the link clearly between your idea and your quotation. Do not leave it to
your reader to work out why you have chosen the quotation. What is wrong with the
following use of quotation?

Groups can be too cohesive; they can become so important to each member that
the goals of the individual are inseparable from the goals of the group. “Group-think
occurs when too high a price is placed on the harmony and morale of the group, so
that loyalty to the group’s previous policies, or to the group consensus, overrides the
conscience of each member” (Janis, 1972).

5. After using a quotation you should comment on it in some way. Again, do not leave
your reader to work out what point you were trying to make. What information would
you expect to see after the quotation below?

Many successful companies have realised that it is essential not only to gain
customers, but also to retain them. As Payne (1996:26) points out, “Research
suggests that there is a high degree of correlation between customer retention and
profitability.”

6. Long quotations (i.e.: three lines or more) are often presented in a way that makes
them distinguishable from the rest of the text. Look at the following example of a
quote and comment on how this differs from previous examples:

Graham (1978:68) states that the purpose of HRM is to ensure that the
employees of an organisation…are used in such a way that the employer obtains
the greatest possible benefits from their abilities and the employees [achieve]
both material and psychological rewards from their work. In this way, both
employer and employee gain from the relationship.

7. If you want to leave out part of a quotation, (e.g.: a phrase or a few words) because it
is not relevant and would make the quote too long, this must be signalled in the

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citation for your reader. Look at the following examples. How do you know that some
of the original text been omitted?

Original:
The absence of direct shareholder investment in management makes financial
reporting particularly important as a means for shareholders to monitor the
company, and considerable resources are devoted in the UK to the production of
audited financial statements (Maltby & Wilkinson 1998:2).

Quotation:
Maltby and Wilkinson (1998:2) noted that, “The absence of direct shareholder
investment in management makes financial reporting particularly important…and
considerable resources are devoted…to…audited financial statements.”

8. If you add something to a reference to explain an abbreviation or a citation in the

text, or to make the quotation easier to understand, your addition must be made
clear to the reader. Note how this is done in the following example:

Original:
Airlines face some of the toughest challenges over customer care. Fierce
competition has convinced them that delighting passengers is an essential
marketing tool, while there is great potential for customer outrage over delays
caused by weather, unclaimed luggage and technical problems. For B.A. staff, a
winning telephone style is considered vital in handling the volume of calls about
bookings and flight times. They are trained to answer quickly, with their name, job
title and a “we are here to help attitude”
Source: Financial Times

Quotation:
“Fierce competition has convinced [airlines] that delighting passengers is an
essential marketing tool…. For B.A. staff, a winning telephone style is considered
vital in handling the volume of calls about bookings and flight times” (Financial Times,
25 November 1999).

9. As mentioned above, when you integrate a quotation, either directly or indirectly into
a paragraph, the sentence in which it occurs must still remain grammatical.

The following quotations have been incorrectly written. Correct the mistakes.

i. Murray has defined health as “Health is a complete physical, mental and social
well-being.”

ii. As Pearson states that: Self-motivation to learn is preferable to motivation

imposed by external resources.

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iii. Johnson and Scholes (1984:44) described the manager recipe for change as.
“Faced with the need for change, managers will seek to deal with the situation in
ways which protect the recipe from challenge,”

iv. In Porter’s quote, he stated that “competition is governed by five external forces.”
(1986)

v. According to Cole G.A. in Management Theory and Practice (1996) he estimated

that, “women hold less than 5% of senior management posts, and perhaps some
26% of all managerial positions.

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6. Punctuation

Incorrect punctuation in English writing will affect your meaning. In some cases it will
completely change what you are trying to say. As with all of the rules of English, the rules of
punctuation are complex but can be understood with practice.

Look at these simple examples:

Vinski said the Head is a perfectionist.

(The Head is a perfectionist)

‘Vinski’, said the Head, ‘is a perfectionist’.

(Vinski is a perfectionist)

The confectionery, which was made with white chocolate, was returned to the factory.
(All the confectionery was made with white chocolate and it was all returned.)

The confectionery which was made with white chocolate was returned to the factory.
(Only that made from white chocolate was returned to the factory)

6.1 The Basics

 Rules gradually change through the years.

 There are differences between British English (BE) and American English (AE)
 Good punctuation in academic writing is important EVEN in your reference lists and
bibliographies.

Common Punctuation Marks

 Full stop (or period) [ . ]
 Comma [ , ]
 Exclamation mark [ ! ]
 Question mark [ ? ]
 Inverted commas [ ‘ ’ ]
 Quotation marks [ “ ” ]
 Colon [ : ]
 Slash [ \ / ]
 Semicolon [ ; ]
 Apostrophe [ ’ ]
 Brackets (or parentheses) ( ) [ ]
 Dash [ – ]
 Hyphen [ - ]
 Ellipsis mark [ … ]
 Capitalisation { E F }

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6.2 The Rules of Punctuation

The Full-Stop (AE: period) [ . ] is used:

 At the end of a sentence
He expressed excitement about his travels.
He expressed excitement (about his travels).
He said, “I’m excited about my travels.”
He was excited vis-à-vis his travels. Vis-à-vis means ‘in relation to’.

 Following abbreviations
e.g. / Dec. / etc. / no. / Mr. * / (*AE. In BE, this is omitted where the last letter of the
contracted word is used, e.g.: Mister = Mr / Doctor = Dr)

 For initialisms (AE)

U.K. R.S.P.C.A. M.P. (British English: UK/RSPCA/MP)

but…

Not used:
 After headings/sub-headings
 Following full references
 e.g. Business Management English (BME)
 London School of Economics (LSE)
 Inside brackets
 After a question/exclamation mark

The Comma [ , ] is used:

 Between items in a list
The modules covered on the course are HRM, Accounting & Finance, Organisational
Behaviour, and Marketing.

 To separate independent/relative clauses

The students attended the workshop, after which they expressed confidence about their
writing.
The Pre-sessional course, which is offered in the summer, is very popular.

 After introductory words/phrases

Following this, the company introduced an incentive scheme.
Alternatively, the company may choose to implement a bonus system.

 Before certain coordinating conjunctions: and, but, for, or, nor, so, yet
The suggested strategies had been implemented, but the problems continued.
She was promoted the following year, and she continued to work diligently.

 In referencing/citations
According to a recent study (Bailey, 2009) this situation is…
This has been highlighted in many studies (Ali 2000, Baker 2009, Smith 1998, Jones
2003).

 In a Reference List
e.g.: when referring to Journals: 3, (5), 8.

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but…

Not used:
 Before and in a ‘word-family’ list
Apples, oranges and bananas
Men, women, boys and girls

 To separate a noun and its modifying adjectives when the adjectives come before
the noun
The bright red car was a Corvette.

 After the main clause when a dependent (subordinate) clause follows it

He was late for the lesson because his alarm clock did not work.

 To separate the subject from the verb

The most important attribute of a team player is good communication skills.

The Exclamation Mark [ ! ] is used:

 To express surprise, anger, joy or any extreme emotion

She was elated to learn of his promotion!
“I’ve been promoted!” she exclaimed.

 In informal and literary texts

Guess what?! I’ll be visiting the UK next month!
That was the first time I saw her. How pretty she was!

but…

Not usually used in academic writing.

Quotation marks/Inverted Commas can be used interchangeably, but note:

 [‘ ’] often used to refer to titles, technical words, in-text phrases/quotations, and around
titles of chapters/articles in Reference Lists:

In her book entitled ‘In Other Words’ , Baker (1992) refers to...
The meaning or ‘semantic value’ of words must not be...
Baker (1992:3) states that ‘isomorphic equivalents are rare’...
Jordan (2003) ‘Lexis’. In: Bailey, S. (ed.) Academic Writing...

 [“ ”] commonly used for short, in-text quotes that are under three lines long; [‘ ’] may also
be used.

The Colon [ : ] is used:

 To precede a list
The essay contains three sections: introduction, main body, conclusion.

 To introduce a quotation
Maslow (1943) said this about motivation: ‘People have a set of basic…’

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 Between two sentences (where the second explains the first)

Several employees were keen to request additional overtime: the recession was causing
people significant financial problems.

 In citations, between the year and page number.

‘…these set of assumptions’ (Bailey, 2003:56).

The Semicolon [ ; ] is used:

 To join related independent clauses in compound sentences (where there is no
conjunction)
Kay worked very hard and had consistently met all her targets; she was certain to receive
a promotion.

 To separate items in a series if they already include commas

The team consists of Dorota Pacek, Director; Gail Horton, Office Manager; and Vicky
Spencer, Secretary.

 Before introductory words such as namely, however, i.e., for example, (the comma
can also be used here)
The company is undergoing a number of changes; for example, restructuring and re-
deployment of staff.

The Apostrophe [ ’ ] is used:

 To indicate possession (excluding its, his, hers, yours)
Jon’s office is on the first floor; it’s not yours!

 For possession by two people (’s after second name)

Jon and Richard’s office is on the first floor.

 Plural possession: make noun plural first, then use ’

…the two managers’ office / the two women’s office / the Lees’ office…

 With plural nouns ending in ‘s’ (add only ’)

…the witness’ lie in court led to… / the Jones’ lie in court led to…

 To signal omission of letters/contractions

She’s in the room on the top floor.

The Question Mark [ ? ] is used:

 At the end of a direct question
Would you like to join us for lunch?

 For tag questions

We can establish the reasons later, can’t we?

 Do not use question marks for indirect questions

I wonder if she would like to join us for lunch.

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6.3 Other Punctuation Marks

 Ellipsis [ ... ] to replace missing text

 Hyphen [ - ] to join two words
 Dash [ – ] between two clauses/sentences
 Brackets or parenthesis ( ) for additional information / asides / exceptions / references
This office (which was on the first floor) was the best in the building.
...as has been shown above (Baker, 1992).
The three reasons were as follows: a) ....., b) ...... and c) ......

 Square brackets [ ] for additions to quotes; for sic; reference list

‘[T]hese [anxious] students should be informed of the risks of plagiarism.’
The cooperation [sic] was at its best in the early 1980s.

Task 48
Work with a partner to list (in any order) the most commonly used punctuation marks in
English. The first has been done as an example.

1. …!…. Exclamation Mark

2. …….

3. …….

4. …….

5. …….

6. …….

7. …….

8. …….

Talk with a partner and identify the rules surrounding the usage of each of the above
punctuation marks? When you have finished, look at the rules pages to check your answers.

Task 49
Look at the sentences below. Are all the commas in these sentences necessary/acceptable?
Explain your answers.

1. Two of the managers, Ms Haines and Mr. Hondo, expressed themselves with total clarity
during the meeting.
2. Two of the managers, Ms Haines and Mr. Hondo expressed themselves with total clarity
during the meeting.
3. He awoke early, so as to prepare for the intensive day that lay ahead.
4. He awoke early, so he was prepared for the intensive day ahead.
5. Professor Toolan, the Head, of the Department, spoke, at length, during the meeting.
6. The man, wearing the blue blazer, is the team leader.
7. He bought a house, a car, a yacht and a motorbike with the money awarded to him at the
tribunal.

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Task 50
Each of the sentences below is missing one punctuation mark. Work with a partner to identify
the missing items.

1. He was unsure of what could be done to rectify the problem

2. The chair expressed delight at the solutions put forward.
3. Mr. Alexander phoned at 13.00 and left the following message please ring after 16.00.
4. It’s incorrect isn’t it?
5. A number of solutions had been proposed for example, offering a bonus scheme or an
award for employee of the month.
6. The managers from three regions, East Anglia Dorset and the West Midlands were
present at the meeting.
7. The year end results exceeded the expectations of the team.
8. Baker 1992 argues that isomorphic equivalents are a rarity in translations.
9. The teams suggestions were put forward one after the other.
10. These hierarchy of needs are said to influence the choices made by us during our working
lives.

Task 51
Some of the sentences below have the correct punctuation, others have too much, and a few
do not have enough. Read each sentence carefully and correct the ones which contain the
wrong punctuation.

1. The managers, coordinators, secretaries, and support staff, were asked to convene in the
meeting room.

2. The CEO rising to address all present tripped and fell.

3. In fact the strategy should have been abandoned immediately.

4. There was some uncertainty as to when ‘Your’s sincerely,’ and ‘Your’s faithfully,’ should be
used.

5. On the surface, it appeared to be a good idea, but closer inspection revealed that there
were flaws in the suggested course of action.

6. People, like scientists and inventors often appear eccentric to the rest of us.

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7. ‘We will succeed, he exclaimed.

8. As sales declined even further it was decided that the product would be withdrawn from the
market.

9. In reality its not easy to launch a new product and the Marketing Mix is crucial to its
success.

10. Who’s fault it was could not be established.

11. A pleasant end of year party was had by all.

12. Paria said the Manager is a very good worker.

Task 52
Work with a partner to discuss why the meaning of the following signs is a little strange.

1. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children

2. Dinner Special: Turkey £2.35; Chicken/Beef £2.25; Children £2.00
3. Please go slowly round the bend
4. Animals drive very slowly
5. Caution automatic door push to operate
6. This door is not to be used as an entrance or exit
7. One hour photos. Collect tomorrow
8. Same-day cleaning. All garments ready in 48 hours
9. Seasonal toilet roles
10. Prize-winning sausages. Once tasted, you’ll never want another.

So remember, punctuation can make or break your meaning in writing.

A woman, without her man, is nothing.
A woman; without her, man is nothing. 

Source: Butt, S. (2010)

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Task 53
Look at the sample essay below, which was written by a student at the Birmingham Business
School. With a partner, discuss its strengths and weaknesses in the light of what you have
learned from this guide. For example, does it have an effective introduction and conclusion?
Is it well structured, with logical topic sentences and paragraphs? Are sources correctly cited
and included in the Reference List? Try to decide whether the student studied on the BME
Pre-sessional, or not.

Essay Example
The entrepreneur is just another manager – albeit a very effective one. Discuss.

Introduction
“The entrepreneur has much in common with the heffalump in the Winnie the Pooh
stories, in that nobody has captured him, and those who have seen him disagree on
his particulars” (Kirby, 2003, 107)

The aim of this essay is to discuss what entrepreneur “is”, since it is not obvious – as
shown by heffalump quote above. The classic view of the entrepreneur is someone
who “revolutionises” the pattern of production, according to Schumpeter (1991, 406). A
manager is not a revolutionary. However, even Schumpeter concedes that the
entrepreneur has to “get things done”, which indicates management ability. Therefore,
the two concepts are related.

To explore the relationship between entrepreneur and management, first I will look at
both separately. Then, I will discuss the links between them.

The Entrepreneur
Schumpeter (1991, 406) famously claimed that the most striking feature of capitalism and free
enterprise is the “incessant revolution of existing industrial and commercial patterns”.
Schumpeter (1991, 411) explains that we must distinguish between “adaptive response” and
“creative response” – doing something outside the range of existing practice. The
entrepreneur is creative and he “gets things done” – he is practical. The practical application
of new ideas he calls innovation – “the doing of new things or the doing of things that are
already being done in a new way” (Schumpeter, 1991, 412). It is the entrepreneur who is
innovative. Therefore, practical innovation is the first aspect of entrepreneurship.

Knight (1921) is also famous for his view of entrepreneurship. Knight claims that the
entrepreneur takes responsibilities for the business decisions which have uncertain outcomes
(1921, 231 -234). Knight distinguishes between “a measurable risk” and “unmeasurable
uncertainty”. Risk-taking is the second aspect.

Moreover, an entrepreneur might even be a different sort of person. As Handy explains (1991,
55), “Entrepreneurs, the successful ones, have on average nine failures for every
success…getting it wrong is part of getting it right”. Using theories from psychology, Kirby
(2003, 108) stresses the entrepreneur’s tolerance of ambiguity, as well as his drive to
achieve, and his independence. In fact, ability to tolerate a great risk might even be linked to a
deviant personality type.

Management
According to Mullins (2002, 166), management is “making things happen…within a
structured organisational setting and with prescribed roles.” From this definition, it is

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clear that there is an overlap between the manager and the entrepreneur because both
make thing happen. At the same time, there is a difference because the manager works
within a “structure”, but the entrepreneur does not.

Mintzburg’s famous analysis of management also shows a link with entrepreneurship,

although not always (1996, 612). He talks of various business “contexts” or
organisational types, including the “entrepreneurial” context, the “mature” context,
and the “diversified” context. The entrepreneurial organisation is generally young. In
other words, it is possible for the organisations to start by being entrepreneurial, and
then become mature and not entrepreneurial.

The mature organisation is in a way the opposite of the entrepreneurial organisation.

Mintzburg (1996, 635) gives as examples a national post office, an airline, and a giant
car company, all of which have a standardised work processes, which are
bureaucratic. Then there is the diversified (often international) organisation, which is
the result of mergers – Mintzburg mentions the Ford Motor Company, IBM and Sony.
Sometimes there is a room for entrepreneurship in these organisations, for example in
“entrepreneurial conglomerates” such as Daewoo (1996, 725). Nevertheless, for
Mintzburg, it seems that in a large mature organisation, management is more important
than entrepreneurship.

However, it is possible to have entrepreneur in a large mature organisation according

to Lazear (2002, 3), who says that senior general managers who “reinvent” a company
might also be entrepreneurs. According to Lazear, the entrepreneur is “jack-of-all-
trades” who may not excel in any one skill but is competent in many. In other words,
the entrepreneur is very like a senior general manager – for example, Chris Gent of
Vodafone, or Warren Buffett of Berkshire Hathaway. Therefore, it appears that all
entrepreneurs are managers but not all managers are entrepreneurs.

The link between entrepreneurship and management

The easiest way to illustrate the complex link between entrepreneurship and
management is by using a table. For simplicity, Table 1 assumes three levels of
entrepreneurship (high, medium and zero) and three levels of management.

Starting with the top row and the first cell, the high entrepreneur/high management
combination, we have the famous classic entrepreneurs, such as Henry Ford and Bill Gates.
As entrepreneurs, both started their own companies from nothing. Ford discovered assembly
line production, and the concept of the cheap car (Nevins, 1954). Gates was first to program a
PC (Gates, 1996). As managers, both had new ideas about managing workers: Ford with his
$5 day and Gates with his stock options to motivate employees. Ford also raised $3.6 billion
(in present day dollars) for a plant, which shows his “outstanding knowledge of business
affairs” (Jardim, 1970, 188). As for Gates, he is said to be “an extraordinarily competitive
Machiavellian guy” (Wines, 1996, 35). We therefore conclude that the great entrepreneur is
also a great manager – but the story does not end there.

Continuing along the top row, we place the top CEOs in the high
management/medium entrepreneur combination. Possible examples are Chris Gent and
Warren Buffett. Starting with Chris Gent (Vodafone, 2003), although he has built up Vodafone
into a wonderful company since taking over as CEO in 1999, he did not start the company. He
works, to some extent, within a “structure” for the shareholders, not for himself – so he is not
a classic entrepreneur. The company has increased its sales from $1 billion in 1993 to $32
billion currently, which shows great performance as a manager. The case is similar for

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Warren Buffett (Berkshire Hathaway, 2003) whose company’s shares have gone from $19 in
1965 to $40,000 in 2000 (Buffett, 2000), showing great management. The reason I think he
does not obviously fit in the high entrepreneur category is he does not have great innovations.

The final cell in the top row has no one in it (zero). You cannot be a great manager with no
entrepreneurial abilities. Moving on to the middle row, first cell, this has no one in it as well.
My idea here is that you cannot be a great entrepreneur and only have medium management
skills.

Let us take the next two cells together. The high growth small business is more
entrepreneurial than the low growth small business (Moran, 1998). As John Willcock (2002)
notes, the entrepreneur is “a quite different animal from proprietor who typically, normally
doesn’t raise large amounts of finance or employ a lot of people…The entrepreneur brings
outside investors because he needs a lot of capital”. This is shown in Figure 1. Most small
businesses are not entrepreneurial – they reach a plateau, curve B. However, entrepreneurial
small businesses grow quickly – curve C. (High entrepreneurial businesses grow very quickly
– curve D – as discussed already.) Therefore, small businesses which grow quickly are put in
the medium entrepreneur/medium management cell, and small businesses which do not grow
(the proprietors) are put in the zero entrepreneur/medium management cell. Also in this cell is
middle management, who simply “meet their budgeted performance requirement” (Mintzburg
1996, 427).

The final row is simple. This row is for situations with the low management skills. No high or
medium entrepreneurs can be in this row, because entrepreneurship requires some
management. So, the first two cells have no one in them. The final cell contains ordinary
workers – people with zero entrepreneurship and zero management.

Conclusion
In this essay, I discussed first the literature on what the entrepreneur is. I found that he
is an innovator and a risk taker with an intense desire for achievement. However, I also
have found that the entrepreneur gets things done, and this is where there is an
overlap with management. I have tried to describe what the overlap is. Looking at Table
1, it is clear that the low, medium and high management corresponds to low, medium
and high entrepreneurship. Nevertheless, the correlation is not perfect. It is possible to
be a good manager without being entrepreneurial, because a good manager has not
founded the business and is not independent of the shareholders – he/she is working
within a structure. So, to conclude, in addition to managerial skills, entrepreneurs have
independence, they make their own structures – entrepreneurs are not simply very
effective managers, they have their additional qualities of independence.

Table 1: Entrepreneurship – Management Matrix

Entrepreneurship
High Medium Zero
Classic
Top CEOs:
entrepreneurship:
Management:

High Warren Buffett, Chris 0

Henry Ford,
Gent
Bill Gates
a. Low growth small
High growth small business
Medium 0
business b. Middle
management
Zero 0 0 Worker

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Figure 1: Business Growth Curves

Source: Parks, 1977, 26

References
Berkshire Hathaway (2003) Berkshire Hathaway Inc.,Hoover’s Company Profile. Available
from: http://web.lexis-nexis.com/professional/form?_index. [Accessed 12 March 2001]
Buffett,W. (2000) Chairman’s Letter for 2000 . Available from:
http://www.berkshirehathaway.com/2000ar/2000letter.html. [Accessed 12 March 2001]
Gates, B. (1996) The Road Ahead, New York: Penguin.
Handy, C. (1991) The Age Of Unreason: London; Business Books.
Jardim, A, (1970) The First Henry Ford: A Study of Personality and Business Leadership,
Cambridge, Mass.: The MIT Press
Kirby, D. (2003) Entrepreneurship, Maidenhead: McGraw-Hill Education.
Knight, F. H. (1921) Risk, Uncertainty and Profit, Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Lazear, E. (2002) Entrepreneur, National Bureau of Economic Research Working Paper
9109. Available from: http: //www.nber.org/papers/w9109. [Accessed 12 March 2001]
rd
Mintzburg, H. & Quinn, J. (1996) The Strategy Process, New Jersey, Prentice Hall, 3 Edition.
Moran, P, 1998. “The Personality Characteristics and Growth Orientation of the Small
Business Owner-Manager” International Small Business Journal, April-June 1998, p 67 – 69.
Mullins, L. J. (2002) Management and Organisational Behaviour, London: Pearson Education,
th
6 Edition.
Nevins, A. (1954) Ford The Times, The Man The Company, New York: Scribners.
Parks, G. (1977) How to Climb a Growth Curve: Hurdles for the Entrepreneur-Manager,
Journal of Small Business Management, April.
Schumpeter, J.A. (1991) Comments on a Plan for the Study of Entrepreneurship in R.
Vodafone, 2003. Vodafone Group PLC, Hoover’s Company Profile. Available from:
http://web.lexis-nexis.com/professional/form?_index. [Accessed 12 March 2001]
Willcock, J. (2002) “Going Independent”, Independent, 25 March 2002, p. 50 - 51.
Wines, L. (1996) “Bill Gates”, Journal of Business Strategy, September/October 2002, p 34-
35.

1404 words excluding references.

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7. Citing References – A Summary

Electronic Sources
Over recent years, students and researchers have found the Internet to be a valuable source
of information. However, it is important to use your judgement very carefully when using the
Internet and to always assess your source. Wikipedia is not considered reliable enough for
academic writing Unlike published materials that appear in a library or database, which are
rigorously checked and considered authoritative reliable sources, the information available on
the Internet is of varying reliability and authority and so it is up to you to be highly selective
and discriminatory when using it.

There is no doubt that the Internet is a convenient tool, but over-dependence on it can be
more time-consuming and less fruitful than using the library. Also your tutors will not be
impressed if all your references refer to unknown or unpublished works.

The same rules for avoiding plagiarism apply to using Internet sources. All sources must be
correctly referenced following the guidelines given in this handbook. Remember that your
tutor might check on your sources or may wish to follow these up, so make sure you provide
the information accurately.

On the pages that follow, you will see a list of tips to help you when using Internet sources:

Remember:
 Record your sources carefully when you read for your essay; this will make it easier when
you have to produce your Reference List later.
 Never be tempted to plagiarise from an Internet source; your tutor will usually detect it.
 Do not translate from an Internet source written in your language and try to present it as
your own work; this is unethical and a serious offence - a form of plagiarism.
 Always evaluate the information you read and carefully assess the suitability of the source.
Read as widely as possible around your topic. Do not depend heavily on one or two
sources, otherwise your work will lack both depth and breadth.
 Ask yourself the following questions:

o Who has written this information?

o Whom is it written for?
o When was this written?
o What is the writer’s purpose?
o Is the language sufficiently academic?
o Are there any obvious errors?
o Is the site reliable?

See also: BME Citation & Reference Guide – Harvard Referencing System

7.1 Harvard Referencing System

In this guide you have seen how to make reference to your reading in your essays and
assignments using the Harvard Referencing System, and how to write a Reference List so
that your reader can easily locate the sources you have referred to.

What follows is a summary of references to print-based, electronic and specialised sources.

This is a guideline only. You may find that the examples given do not provide all the exact

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details for the source you may wish to refer to. Remember to use your common sense and
ask yourself what information your reader would need in order to locate the source. Always
check with your lecturer or tutor if you have any doubts.

Remember that page numbers are required for direct quotations (including references to
statistics and diagrams) and in the case of secondary referencing…

Sample Entry in Reference

Books In-text Referencing
List
A recent study (Benyon-
Davies, 2004) found that…
Benyon-Davies, P. (2004) e-
One author OR business. Basingstoke:
Macmillan.
Benyon-Davies (2004: 38)
claims that, ‘…’
A recent study (Rayport &
Jaworski, 2003) predicted
that…

OR
Rayport, J.F. & Jaworski, B.J.
(2003) Introduction to e-
Two authors Rayport and Jaworski nd
Commerce (2 edition).
(2003:25) point out that, ‘…’
New York: McGraw-Hill.
Use an ampersand (&)
within the brackets and in
the Reference List, but use
‘and’ in your sentence.
Burn, J., Marshall, P. &
Barnett, M. (2002) e-
A recent study (Burn,
business Strategies for
Three authors Marshall & Barnett, 2002)
Virtual Learning
highlighted the fact that…
Organisation. London:
Butterworth-Heinemann.
Jones, P., Smith, A., Hudson,
More than three authors
T., Etherton, J., Connelly W.
(Use et al after the very first A comprehensive study
& Gardener J. (1999)
entry in the text. Include all (Jones et al, 1999)
Business Management for
the authors in the Reference highlighted the fact that…
the New Era. Adelaide:
List)
Wyland Publishing.

Mintzberg, H. (1983)
Structure in Fives: Designing
Effective Organisation. New
Jersey: Prentice Hall.
Multiple works by the same Research (Mintzberg, 1983,
author 1990) has indicated that…
Mintzberg, H. (1990)
Mintzberg on Management:
Inside Our Strange World of
Organizations. New York:
The Free Press.

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In recent reports (Napier, Napier, A. (1993a) Fatal

1993a, 1993b)… Storm. Sydney: Allen &
Multiple works published in
Add a, b, c, to differentiate Unwin.
the same year by the same
between works by the
author
same author in the same Napier, A. (1993b) Survival at
year. Sea. Sydney: Allen & Unwin.
Bradford and Lewis (1991),
Curtis (1998), and Grant
(1992) all agree…
Each source cited in the text
should appear as a separate
Several sources cited at once OR
entry in alphabetical order in
the Reference List.
Recent studies (Bradford &
Lewis 1991, Curtis 1998,
Grant 1992) all concur in…
Cooper, C. (2001) ‘Careers,
work and Life: Ways of
Finding a Better Balance’. In:
According to Cooper
Chapter in edited work Pickford, J. (ed.) F.T.
(2001)…
Mastering Management 2.0.
Harlow: Pearson Education
Ltd. pp. 12-22
Kramer (2000) cited in
Referring to an author read
Pickford (2001: 208) has
about in another publication
highlighted the extent to
Pickford, J. (ed.) (2001) F.T.
which…
N.B. Avoid the use of Mastering Management 2.0.
secondary referencing: try Harlow: Pearson Education
N.B. Pickford (secondary)
to locate the original Ltd.
source accessed) is the
(primary) source if
author who will appear in
possible.
the reference list

Sample Entry in Reference

Journals In-text Referencing
List
Adler, P. S. (1991) ‘Workers
and Flexible Manufacturing
Systems: Three Installations
One or more authors Adler (1991) compares …
Compared’. Journal of
Organisational Behaviour, 12
(3), : 447-460.
‘Growth at all cost is no Sprague, J. & Shameen, A.
longer a viable option’ (1999) ‘Boosting growth,
No volume or number/issue
(Sprague & Shameen, courting disasters?’
1999:50). Asiaweek. 31 Jul,:.50-51.

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Sample Entry in Reference

Specialised Sources In-text Referencing
List
Sweden: Trade Council
A government report (1991) Swedish Export
nd
Government report (Swedish Trade Council, Directory, (72 edition).
1991) found that… Stockholm: Swedish Trade
Council.
Standards Association of
Australia (1997) Australian
According to the Standards
Standard: Pressure
Standards Association of Australia
Equipment Manufacture.
(1997)…
(AS4458-1997). North
Sydney: Standards Australia.
Kunii, I.M. & Ihlwan, M.
Kunii and Ihlwan (2003) note (2003) ‘Wireless Surprise in
Magazine
that… Japan and Korea’. Business
Week, March 3.
The Hollywood Sound (1995)
Similarly, in The Hollywood [Video recording]. New York:
Video
Sound (1995)… Sony Classical Film and
Video.
The discovery was first N.B. News broadcasts are
News broadcast on radio announced on 4BU News (14 not usually recorded in a
February, 2000) reference list.

Sample Entry in Reference

Electronic Sources In-text Referencing
List
UCLA Center for
Communication Policy (2003)
UCLA Center for UCLA Internet Report:
Document on the World Wide
Communication Policy (2003) Surveying the Digital Future,
Web
notes in its Internet Report Available from:
(author or sponsor given)
that… http://www.ccp.ucla.edu
[Accessed on 12 March,
2005]
In Internet2 Gigapop List
Internet2 Gigapop List (2003)
(2003), comparisons are
[online].
made…
Document on the World Wide Available from
Web (no author or sponsor) http://www.internet2.edu
Always check the validity of
[Accessed on 2 February,
a site that has no author or
2005]
sponsor.
James, C.R. (2003)
‘Designing Learning
Organisations’.
Organisational Dynamics
A ‘Learning Organisation’
[online]. 32 (1), pp. 46-61.
Online journal (James, 2003:46) can be
Available from:
defined as…
http://www.sciencedirect.com/
science/journal/00902616
[Accessed on 15 February,
2005]

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Shama, A. (2001) ‘Private

sector management: the case
Journal article on electronic of Russia’. Journal of Small
Shama (2001) states that the
database - ProQuest Business Management.
advantages…
[online ProQuest]. 39 (32),
pp. 183-192 [Accessed 31
December, 2003]
Arlidge, J. (30 Nov, 2003)
‘Jean Genius’ Guardian
Unlimited Special report
Online newspaper with author Arlidge (2003) noted that… [online]. Available from
http://www.guardian.co.uk
[Accessed on 1 December,
2003]
Australian (1 Sep, 1996)
[online]. Available from
A report in the Australian (1
Online newspaper with no http://www.australian.aust.co
September, 1996) revealed
author m/australian/cgi-bin/news
that the economic situation…
[Accessed on 18 September,
1996]

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8. Editing & Proofreading Your Work

Once you have produced a first draft of your essay you should take some time to proofread it
before submission. Always ensure you leave sufficient time for this.

8.1 Editing

Editing means making any necessary changes to your work to improve its content and
readability. If possible, ask a classmate to read through your work to give feedback on how
clearly you are expressing yourself. You may need to put your work aside for a few days and
then return to it with a more critical eye – you will be surprised by what this can often reveal.
Use the following Task as a checklist:

Task 54
Section 

 Introduction

Am I preparing my reader well for the rest of the essay?

Have I provided any necessary background information so that my reader can
understand the context easily?
Is it relevant to the question?

Have I stated clearly the problem that is to be studied?

Have I outlined my purpose in a thesis statement so that my reader can see the
structure of my essay and what he or she can expect to read?
 Main Body

Is it easy to see the different sections?

Have I used appropriate transitions or links between the sections so that my logic is
easy to follow?
Have I referenced properly and consistently throughout the work?
Are there any sections which might cause my reader difficulty because they are too
dense?
Does my essay develop a clear and logical argument?
If I have used sections and sub-sections, are these numbered and labelled logically to
show the structure of my essay?
Is my paragraphing correct? Have I written a clear topic sentence, added discussion or
analysis, included support or evidence for my opinions and added a final comment or
link?
 Conclusion

Have I summarised the main points of my essay?

Have I reached a final conclusion based both on my analysis of the problem and the
relevant literature?
Have I indicated any possibilities for future research as a final outcome of my essay?
[Optional]

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Once you have asked yourself the questions in the table on the previous page, you may have
to make some changes to your work. Some reorganisation of your ideas with possible
additions or omissions are often necessary.

8.2 Proofreading

Your admission to the course demonstrates that you have sufficient control of English for your
study purposes. However, tutors in the Business School cannot correct your English mistakes
for you. Therefore, you must make sure that the work you submit is written to the best of your
ability and is as error free as possible so that your work can be fairly assessed.

It is often difficult to spot your mistakes on the computer screen so make a hard copy of your
essay and check word by word marking your mistakes with a highlighter pen. Then take a
different colour pen and check all your references. Make sure that each citation appears in
the Reference List.

The exercises on the next page will help you to practise looking for errors.

Task 55
Common Errors
In each paragraph below, underline the errors and write the corrections in the space provided
to the left of each line. Identify the category of error made (e.g.: (a) verb-subject agreement)
and write it in the corresponding space next to the letter.

(a)………………………..
E-commerce play a vital role in the business world today. As a
result, many retailers has been selling their products on the
internet. What are the implications for customer loyalty?

(b)………………………….
Before mass marketing, bank managers know the names of
every client. Now many people never saw their bank manager
once. More companies realise that consumer services and
customer relationship management are the keys to growth.

(c)…………………………….
China will become a member of the WTO on the end of this year.
There is no doubt that China joining in WTO is a long cherished
dream. In order for facing the competition after entry, China
ought to make preparations in all aspects.

(d)……………………………
This situation will have many negative effect on local grocery
stores, they will lose their customer and some may close down.
They can offer many conveniences to customers but are weak in
face of competition from big superstore like Tesco.

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(e)…………………………
In conclusion, the car industry is facing challenge of the foreign
competitors. The consolidation is the trend around the world. The
innovation of the car industry mainly depends on government’s
investment and policy.

(f)…………………………..
All of the theories of motivation expound and analysis the factors
of encourage employees and the methods of stimulate
employees. The dominate theory is that of Maslow.

Task 56
Proofread the following text to find 24 errors in the six categories highlighted in Task 55.
Underline the error and write the correction above it.

Leadership is considered one of the most important factor influencing organizational

performance and achievement of goals over the last 30 years.

Although many definitions of leadership has been propositioned over the years, we can say
that leadership is the practise of influence.

The primary emphasize of early research of leadership was psychologic and focussed on the
personality characteristics found among successful leaders. It was not until a sociologic view
of leadership was combine with a psychologic view that progress is made.

Two major questions need to be answered: 1) How do we know when leader is effective?
and 2) What factor determine whether or not a given style of leadership behaviour can be
reliable?

Reliable answers to the first question remains the subject of continuing research. The
problem are that the goals of leader are many and each constitute a valid dimension of leader
effectiveness. At the very least we can say the following are elements of leader effectiveness:
a) individual effectiveness of subordinates for accomplish their tasks, b) the productive or
efficiency of groups of subordinates to accomplish their tasks, c) the moral or satisfy of
subordinates, and d) the qualitie of products or services generated by those groups.

Fortunately, research on what is the most effective leadership style has become the topic of
serious research efforts during the 1970s. Two such effort deserve our attention: the work of
Fred Fiedler and also the path-goal theory of leadership.

Adapted from Arnaudet & Barrett (1984) Approaches to Academic Reading and Writing. New Jersey: Prentice Hall.

Proofreading your Reference List

Your list of references is the last impression you make on your tutor, so make sure it is also
free from errors. Refer back to the guidelines given previously in this guide if you need to.

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Task 57
The Reference List below contains errors. Highlight the problems and identify the rules about
producing the list of references that this student has misunderstood:

Reference List
Adler, P.S., 1991. Workers and Flexible Manufacturing Systems: Three installations
compared. Journal of Organisational Behaviour, 12: 447-460.

Ambrose, M. and Kulik, C.T. (1999) Old Friends, New Faces: Motivation Research in the
1990s Journal of Management, vol.25, No 3, 231-292

Cheney, A., Sims R., & Manz, C., “Teams and Total Quality Management: An International
Application.” In Manz, C., & Sims R., (eds) 1993. Business Without Bosses.
nd
Hertzberg, F., Mausner, B., & Snyderman, B. B., 1967. The motivation to work (2 ed.)
Olympus Publishing: Salt Lake City, UT.

Hughes, C. (3 May 2001) “Corporate Profile: Alan Yurko; Don’t mess with the tough guy” The
Independent [online] Available from: http://news/independent.co.uk/business/news/

Nel, D and Pitt, L (1993). Service quality in a retail environment: closing the gaps. Journal of
General Management, 18, 3-37.

James, C. R. (2003) Designing learning Organisations Organisational Dynamics [online],

volume 32 (1), 46-61. Available from: http://sciencedirect.com/science/journal/00902616
[Accessed 2 April 2003].

Mabey, C. et al, (Eds)(1998) Strategic Human Resource Management Sage: London.

Vroom, Victor, & Deci, Edward. L., (eds) 1970. Management and Motivation. Penguin.

Sallis, E. Total Quality Management in Education, Kogan Page; London. (1990)

8.3 Correcting a Draft

Task 58
With your group, read the following extract from a student’s essay. A tutor has underlined
errors and has indicated problems using the correction symbols found in Appendix 1 of this
guide. Discuss the errors and how the student could correct them.

W.W., Prep Many people believe that price is the only thing people care in the internet
Sing/pl market and brands have little contributions. Although price transparency is one
Modal of the most important factors that people will consider on the internet, I still
Aux. disagree with the above opinion. Not only brand represents the quality of
SVA. Sub. WO products, but it has also many benefits for the customers. This article will
Art. Pl. discuss what the brand is and shopping situation on the internet. So, we can
S, WW, /\ /\ easily evaluate the price transparency is not the rule that governs consumption
W.W. on the internet.
Ref.
Sing/Pl. According to Professor Bibb (in 2001), “a brand is a name, term, design,
Art. symbol or any other feature that identifies one seller’s good or service as
Art. distinct from those of other sellers.” Brand is also a communication tool that
S guarantees the quality of products and provides the sense of safety or
Art./\ Prep. satisfaction for customers. So, some luxury brands such as BMW or BENZ not
Sing/Pl only represent the quality of products but they also can satisfy people’s desire.

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 What are this student’s typical mistakes?

 Identifying your own key errors is useful as you can then actively check for these when you
proofread your own work

8.4 Understanding your Tutor’s Feedback

Tutors will use the feedback symbols in Appendix 1 (or a similar correction system) to assess
your essay. They may also add comments and criticisms; this feedback is formative – you
should take note of it and try to follow the advice in your next piece of work.

Task 59
Look at the features presented in the following table and match them (one or more) to
comments (a) to (t) below which have been written by tutors:

Quality of Content Expression of Ideas Format

1. analyse rather than simply
describe
2. show critical
understanding and 6. guide your reader through
9. reference all sources
interpretation your argument clearly
accurately
3. ensure content is relevant 7. use accurate language
10. adhere to layout
4. make good use of suitable 8. use appropriate academic
guidelines
sources and evidence style
5. demonstrate appropriate
coverage of relevant
literature

a. You need to include reference details e.g. (Name, Year: Page).

b. You show that you have read about and understood the topic well. You have provided a
good balance between the theory of motivation and how this works in practice.
c. I would like to have seen evidence of wider reading.
d. The question states, …discuss with particular reference to your own work experience…,
yet you have not done this.
e. Do loyalty cards really create loyal customers? Research suggests the opposite. You
haven’t provided any evidence that they do; you have just given your unsupported opinion.
f. Your argument lacks balance; you haven’t looked at the challenges that working in teams
presents.
g. You have made some useful suggestions, but you need to think about these more
carefully. Present a rationale or justification for your ideas and consider where there may
be limitations to your suggestions.
h. There are many errors that could have been eliminated by more careful proofreading.
i. Please use the Author-Date system for referencing as you have been shown in class.
j. You have selected some good quotations but you haven’t provided any commentary on
them.
k. There is too much anecdotal evidence about what you think makes good leadership and
not enough reference to the theory.
l. You haven’t really expanded your argument with any depth of analysis. You have made no
attempt to document or analyse any relevant theories. This falls well below the standard.

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m. Your essay lacks an overall argument and although you refer to numerous theories, these
remain unconnected to the topic. Too much “cut and paste” perhaps?
n. Your essay is hard to follow in places. I don’t think you have spent enough time thinking
about what your main point is in each paragraph and composing a suitable topic sentence.
o. Your essay is too abstract and philosophical for a business essay. Try looking at other
students’ work.
p. Do not change the title!
q. The style is too chatty and informal for an academic essay.
r. You need to structure your essay using numbered headings and subheadings.
s. This essay must be word-processed following the guidelines given in class.
t. A good piece of work but you rely too much on one source.

Task 60
Now look at the following sentences taken from essays. Can you match them with the right
tutors’ comment (a-e) that follow?

1. Some psychologists believe that leadership qualities are innate or genetic and thus
impossible to learn.
2. Based on these comments ,the most important role of the project team leader appears to
be to communicate the desired goals and values of the team ,(Anthony P.A . ,& Janet M
.,2002:14 ) –the team leader “portrays these objectives…[and] it percolates through ,”
works to “realign attitudes ,” “fosters tremendous work ethic ,” and “forces collegiality and
communication” (Ted .E ,2002) amongst members .
3. In April 2003, the ubiquitous McDonald’s – one of the 20 biggest advertisers in the United
States – announced its plans to devote more money to internet marketing, aiming to reach
the growing number of its customers who are cozying up to computers rather than to TV
screens.
4. For example, one employee’s mother is sick and he cannot afford the hospital fees and will
not pay any attention to his work. Maybe he wants to go home to see his mother. The staff
will appreciate the fees that they borrow from the company. The staff will work harder than
before.
5. Thirdly, managers should make their employees become shareholders of the company.
This method is profit sharing. All employees not only share the income of their own
company but also bear the risk.

Tutors’ comments:
a. There is obvious plagiarism here. Write a paraphrase, do not copy, and always include the
reference.
b. Be more specific with your support.
c. Your referencing is very inaccurate, as you have given first names, not surnames. Also,
the poor word-processing makes your work hard to read.
d. You are making a generalisation here from a particular example which is not usually a
good idea. Instead, try to analyse events in light of the theory.
e. Is this really feasible? You need to look at this much more carefully before you can be so
sure.

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9. Examination Skills

Before starting this Pre-sessional course, you will have had to sit at least one of the following
exams: IELTS, STAR, TOEFL. During the course, you will need to prepare for several BME
tests. You will also be writing exams in English during your Masters course, and this may be
something that you are concerned about.

Preparing for an IELTS/TOEFL/BME exam

Write here what you know about the exam: length, topics, time, question types etc.

Task 61
Tick the statements below that apply to you:
a. I can’t sleep before an exam so I usually spend all night revising, then I feel too
tired to concentrate.
b. I usually memorise at least 6 topics, then I try to fit these to the questions.
c. When I have to answer three questions in the exam, I can always answer the
first 2 questions but I run out of time for the third.
d. I know I should write a plan but then I worry I won’t have enough time to write
my essay.
e. As I usually write using a computer, I find it hard to write exams without crossing
out a lot – I need to change my ideas in the exam and I can’t.
f. I think it is not necessary to write an introduction or conclusion in an exam, so I
just get the main points down as quickly as possible.
g. Once I forgot to turn the page over – and the question I was hoping for was on
the back, but it was too late!
h. I find it hard to analyse a case study in an exam because when I’m under
pressure I can’t generate any ideas nor can I develop my ideas.

All of these statements show typical, but unfortunately, unhelpful exam behaviours, attitudes
and beliefs. While there is no perfect method of preparing for an exam, it is important to find
an approach which suits your natural study approach and works for you. You may also be
able to learn some new approaches from your group.

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Task 62
Use the following headings and the BME Writing Assessment Sheet to discuss, with your
teacher and your group, some techniques for performing well in examinations. Some tips
have been written for you:

1. Reading the question paper

2. Choosing which question(s) to answer

Annotate the questions as you read them - can you answer each part well enough?

3. Deciding the order in which to answer the questions (if applicable)

4. Time management
Know how much you can write.

5. Planning your answer

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6. Using your knowledge to answer the question – how?

Be relevant at all times.
Explain and provide examples, don’t just give facts.

7. Writing your introduction

Make sure you refer to the question and show how you are going to answer it.

8. Writing the middle sections (main body)

9. Writing your conclusion

Don’t repeat yourself
Don’t apologise for your English!

10. Checking at the end of the exam

Check for illegible words
Check you have numbered the questions

Task 63
Analysing Exam Questions
Look at the following exam questions in pairs. Underline the function words. What must you
do in each case.?

Essays
1. Evaluate the interview as a means of staff selection and promotion.
2. Explain how segmentation might be useful to a manufacturer of fashion clothing.
3. How far do you agree with the assertion that leaders are people with special qualities?

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4. Compare and contrast HRM practices in any two S.E. Asian countries.
5. Is there such a thing as a global or universal product? Discuss.

Case Studies
6. Assess Company X’s resources and capabilities and the way in which they lead to
competitive advantage.
7. Give recommendations regarding Company X’s international expansion strategy and
assess potential problems.
8. Summarise the company’s current strategy and comment on its suitability in terms of
delivering growth and continued profitability.
9. List the firm’s strategic options and evaluate them.
10. Give your recommendations on future strategy and comment on any problems you
envisage during the implementation process.

Task 64
Writing Timed Case Study Reports
Look at the following problem areas noted by tutors. What solutions can your group offer?

1. Some students don’t perform well as they often rush into writing their answers without
taking sufficient time to interpret the information given first.

Solution:

2. Many students make the mistake of copying large chunks of text from the case. It’s a
complete waste of time.

Solution:

3. Where is the analysis? This student has moved from the problem statement to the solution
without using any analytical frameworks.

Solution:

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4. There are many errors in the analysis because the student hasn’t understood the case well
enough.

Solution:

5. The student has made no reference to any business theory. This makes the analysis seem
very inexpert and the report, therefore, lacks validity.

Solution:

6. The suggestions are very vague and not specific to this case at all. This report would be of
no real use to the company.

Solution:

7. The recommendations are not very realistic or sensible, given the small size of the
company.

Solution:

8. The recommendations are good I think, but they are not linked to the analysis of the
problem.

Solution:

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9. There are some language problems: the tenses are used incorrectly and names are often
misquoted.

Solution:

10. There is no rationale for the recommendations, nor is there any discussion of the effect
that the recommendations may have on the employees.

Solution:

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Appendices

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10.1 Appendix 1: Answers

Writing Assessment Form

CONTENT 50%

 Some irrelevances &/or

 Minor irrelevances &/or
 All content is relevant to the misinterpretation of the  Content is largely irrelevant &/or
GENRE-SPECIFIC omissions may be present.
CONTENT assignment. The target reader assignment rubric may be limited. Target reader is
Target reader is generally well
is fully informed. present. Target reader is minimally informed.
informed.
partially informed.

 Limited knowledge, argument &

ideas, indicating that question is
 Knowledge, argument & ideas not fully understood.
are perceptive & relevant,  Knowledge, argument & ideas Alternatively/in addition,
 Knowledge, argument & ideas
showing some original thought. are sufficient, but lack depth. possible inability to handle the
are good.
 Resources used appropriately & Ideas may be strong, but are question linguistically.
 Good use of resources.
comprehensively. marred by linguistic limitations.  Little reference to external
 Some evidence of wider
 Evidence of wider reading.  Some use of resources. sources, &/or over-dependence
reading.
 References correctly &  Background reading indicated. on one source.
ASSESSED ESSAY  References generally well-cited
appropriately cited throughout.  Some references correctly  Little, if any, evidence of wider
& Harvard-compliant with
Correct & comprehensive cited. Reference List is partially reading.
occasional errors.
Harvard-compliant Reference accurate & Harvard-compliant.  Many inaccuracies &/or
 Work may contain unintentional
List.  Work contains unintentional omissions in Reference List,
academic misconduct.
 Work is free from academic academic misconduct. with little or no grasp of the
misconduct. Harvard System.
 Intentional academic
misconduct is evident.

35-50 30-35 20-30 0-20

 Knowledge, argument & ideas
 Limitations in knowledge,
 Knowledge, argument & ideas are sufficient, but lack depth.
 Knowledge, argument & ideas argument & ideas indicate that
FINAL WRITING are perceptive & relevant, Ideas may be strong, but are
are good. the question has not been fully
EXAM showing some original thought. marred by limitations in
understood.
linguistic expression.
35-50 30-35 20-30 0-20

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Task 2
Students’ own answers.

Task 3
Essay Title: Function Words
What is meant by the term employee involvement? Briefly describe and
evaluate the principle methods used in organisations to promote describe
employee involvement. What contribution do these schemes make to evaluate
productivity and employee satisfaction?
Motivation of employees is an important part of any manager’s job. From
your own experience and knowledge of relevant literature, discuss a)
discuss
what you think motivates an employee to work well and b) what steps can
be taken by a manager to increase motivation amongst the workforce?
In the UK, women are still poorly represented at management levels. Is
the situation the same in your country? Discuss in detail the reasons why discuss
you think this is the case and suggest several steps which could be taken suggest
to improve women’s chances of promotion.
Describe the major theories which have been used to explain the
describe
phenomenon of leadership. Evaluate these theories in relation to the
evaluate
relevant literature and business practice.

Task 4
means… so in my essay I have to...
 Give an account of something
Describe Give a BRIEF description of …
Explain how something works
Introduce views/opinions of different
authors
Discuss  Present different opinions
Weigh-up the viewpoints and then
offer own opinion
 Analyse/assess the qualities or Assess and scrutinize something
Evaluate significance of something and then present personal opinion
 Make a judgment with justification

Task 5
1. Antonella examines the reasons why and to whom businesses should disclose financial
information.
2. She challenges the assumption upheld by agency theory and examines accountability
theory, showing that companies operate in a wider social and environmental context and
are therefore more widely accountable.
3. She refers to the literature for accounting frameworks and models which she briefly
describes and discusses with reference to accountability theory. She draws some
conclusions from this.
4. She goes on to examine the interested groups to whom financial reports should be
addressed: customers, lenders, suppliers, the government and community. She then
analyses what type of financial information should be disclosed and examines different
companies to show the impact of disclosing certain types of financial and other
information, whether legally required or not.

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Task 6
 Trace, identify, evaluate.
 Students’ own answers

Task 7
1. A recipe book
2. A novel
3. A newspaper
4. A textbook

Task 8
1. In this part of the essay, Nhan describes the situation of women in management in
Vietnam and analyses some of the reasons behind their limited participation.
She tells us this clearly in her introduction in her thesis statement beginning, “This essay
aims to...”
2. Nhan explains the background to the Vietnamese economy and social structure and
contrasts this with recent reforms. She explains women’s traditional role in Vietnamese
families and shows how this can create conflict with career development. She gives
examples of successful women in modern Vietnamese society who have been liberated
from traditional roles. She then analyses the statistics given for Asian women’s
participation in management and notes that women have very limited success in the
administration and managerial sectors.
In the extract given, Nhan offers two reasons for women’s marginalization from
management and discusses each in some depth.
Nhan uses sub-headings which indicate what each section is about. These help the reader
follow her argument easily.
3. Nhan has used her research to find statistics about female managerial employment in the
U.K. and Asia, to explain a theory or hypothesis (Dunkelberg), to describe the economic
background of Vietnam, to show the female employment in the university, to show the
relationship between child raising, sex stereotyping and skill development, and to show
some of the possible effects of more liberal attitudes on the family.
4. The writing is clear and easy to follow as it is well structured and the ideas are linked well
together.
5. The analysis given for women’s limited participation in management could be developed a
little more fully as at times it becomes rather descriptive. More references to her reading
with clear examples could also have enhanced this section. In this part it is important to
show the link between cause and effect, which she does quite well.

Task 9 Antonella’s Introduction

1. d 2. b 3. a 4. c 5. e

Task 10
Missing: a, b (definition of a leader), d.

Task 11
1. It includes the features from Task 9, supported with reference to an external source.
2. “This essay seeks to………”

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Task 12
1. c 2. d 3. b 4. a 5. e 6. f 7. h 8. j 9. i 10. g

Task 13
Students’ own answer.

Task 14
1. Identify the topic sentence in the paragraph.
Generally, paragraphs should contain a topic sentence. It introduces the main idea of a
specific paragraph and can occur anywhere in the paragraph but is often found as the first
sentence. At the same time, the topic sentence also often acts as a transition structure,
“pulling” the reader from the idea discussed in one paragraph, to the next. In that case it
probably contains a specific “signpost” word or phrase which provides a smooth, logical
movement. For example, ‘secondly’ or ‘on the other hand’ Many such transition clauses are
found in academic writing, their purpose being to allow the reader to move comfortably
through the text.

2. Identify the topic sentence and linkers in the paragraph.

Additionally, paragraphs also contain sentences which expand the main theme and add
support to your argument. Because the writing should flow easily, these sentences are linked
by words or expressions to help the reader follow the line of thought. Furthermore, the reader
should find examples as well as quotations or paraphrased summaries (evidence) from other
sources which support your points and connect to the idea expressed in the thesis statement
found in the essay introduction. Finally, a conclusion sentence will draw these points to a
close and provide a logical connection to the next paragraph.

3. Identify the topic sentence; transition expression, linking devices, sources, and
function of the paragraph.
It is this logical structure within and between paragraphs which often causes difficulty for
students in their academic writing. The paragraph may have one or more functions, including
for example, cause and effect; chronological; contrast; addition; priority (Metcalfe , 2010).
“Formulating a coherent and logical argument takes time and thought” (Andersson et al
2007). However, with sufficient planning, and some revising and refining, clarity can be
achieved.

Task 15
There are three important aspects regarding this building. Firstly, and most importantly, it
houses the reception for the International Students’ Unit. Secondly, it has a large number of
teaching rooms. Finally, it has the best conference centre on the campus. (priority)

This building was constructed over a number of years. The foundation stone was laid in
1918 by the Queen mother. A year later, building started. Five years after that, the main
building was completed. Then in 1945, the library was added, and finally, last year the
conference centre was built. (chronological)

This building is completely self-contained. It has 12 teaching rooms and 2 lecture

theatres. In addition, it has 2 large conference rooms and a library. As well as this it has a
restaurant plus a canteen. Furthermore, it has a media centre together with a language
laboratory. (addition)

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There are a number of advantages and disadvantages to this building. Although it has
12 large teaching rooms, half are on the south side and rather hot. The canteen is extremely
useful, but rather small; however, there are plans to enlarge it. In spite of having a state-of-
the-art media centre, it is often unavailable due to technical problems. (contrast)

This building is going to be demolished next year for a number of reasons. Because it
was built almost a hundred years ago, it does not have modern foundations. As a result, the
cellars are rather damp. This has led to crumbling of the bricks due to infiltration of moisture.
Consequently the whole structure is unsound. (cause and effect)

Task 16
Students’ choice.

Task 17
b. + Students’ own answer.

Task 18
1 a. Underline any expressions of opinion and attitude in the following conclusion to an
MSc Accounting & Finance essay:
Under the appropriate social and economic conditions, Value Added Statements (VAS) may
become important in presenting additional or recognised information about an entity to a
wider audience. They are of most use when they can be compared with those of past years or
with other companies. However, if the publication of the VAS is to become widespread
throughout the United Kingdom, and in Australia for that matter, there is the need then for
accounting standards on their form and content. This is due to the variety of methods which
are currently employed in their preparation.
Source: Woodward-Kron (1997) Writing in Commerce, Revised edition, CALT, The University of Newcastle, p. 17.

1 b. Now underline opinion and attitude expressions in these sentences:

i. With the support of key people, Ms Costello could change the organisational culture into a
more participative, less hostile workforce.
Source: Management Synopsis

ii. Robotic labour will probably be needed for most of our industrial and commercial activities.
Source: Human Resource Management essay

iii. The failure of information systems is rarely due to technological failure. Failure is much
more likely to be caused by human and organisational problems.
Source: Business Management essay

iv. The results show that, taken together, at least 17 of the 25 items can form a valid scale
measuring shareholder perceptions of their companies for each of the three data groups.
Of the five sub-scales, Good Management Skills are only moderately valid and reliable for
use and interpretation separately from the main scale.
Source; abstract James D (1998) ‘The Shareholder Experience’ Management Research and Development, Vol.
41, No. 1, pp. 45-63.

Task 19
Exercise 1a
1. investigated 2. raised 3. fluctuate 4. maintain, delayed
5. eliminate 6. intervene, assist 7. reduces 8. pervades

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Exercise 1b
1. put forward > proposed 2. came up with > devised 3. found out > discovered
4. looking into > investigating 5. turned up > yielded

Exercise 2
1. will not/is 2. was not 3. should not 4. he would/did not
5. no change (direct quote)

Exercise 3
1. a great deal of 2. significantly 3. extremely 4. received favourable
5. many 6. somewhat 7. several members, resigned, criticised, General Manager

Exercise 4
1. There has been little agreement among management gurus.
2. M&S has received a great deal of good publicity over the last few years.
3. Railtrack received little funding for track maintenance.
4. Few newly-launched products succeed.
5. In terms of corporate culture, no amount of team spirit will encourage the employees to
work harder.

Exercise 5
1. The internal reorganisation of the company was said to be the main reason for the
redundancies.
2. The resignation of the Chairman of Railtrack was a result of the government’s report on
transport, which was published last week.
3. The bank’s withdrawal of its offer to buy the company was due to a higher bid.
4. The reduction of poverty and homelessness could make the world a better place to live.
5. The creation of new international markets led to a major expansion in the industry.
6. The collaboration of two pharmaceutical companies resulted in the launch of a new drug.
7. The establishment of a joint venture abroad would help them break into the export market.
8. Speaking in front of a large audience can be stressful.

Exercise 6
1. other transport industries 2. and other leisure amenities 3. menswear and other clothing
4. and other supermarkets 5. …and other banks

Exercise 7
1. The same theory can be applied to any industry.
2. When Coca Cola first started in business, the drink could be bought from soda fountains.
3. Employees can only be asked to do the work when they have been properly trained.

Exercise 8
1. Porter’s five competitive forces can be identified as follows:
2. We need to assess how motivation can be improved.
3. Let us examine the reasons why the hierarchical structure is the most dominant
organisational structure.

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Exercise 9
1. Strategic planning is primarily the role of the senior management.
2. The financial ratios will automatically be calculated.

Combination Exercise
1. Profits will not increase until productivity is improved.
2. There are few banks which provide personal customer service.
3. The fall in trade union membership was because of increased unemployment.
4. The demand from shareholders and other stakeholders is for greater transparency.
5. Suppliers cannot be expected to wait.
6. It may be asked why workers tolerate low pay.

Task 20
Examples of academic caution in this text (with line numbers):
tend to favour (8) with the view typically held by (14) most British participants (16)
they tend to prefer (18) may come more naturally (26) may seem (39)
this can be quite a shock (55) it may be difficult to (91) often requires (113)

Task 21
1. Present tense
2. ‘It presents a situation where women often leave the workplace because of marriage,
childbirth or child rearing’/ ‘It can be said to cause a lack of experience or knowledge
about…’

Task 22
Students’ own answer.

Task 23 Antonella’s Conclusion

1. d 2. f 3. a 4. e 5. b 6. c

Task 24 Lucy’s Conclusion

1. d 2. a 3. b 4. c

Task 25 Marco’s Essay

1. explanation, rationale, example, paraphrase.
2. These factors, For example, Similarly, In addition to this, Regarding these, Thus.
3. d
4. Last line in section 1, last three lines in section 2.
5. First sentence in each paragraph. Effect: clarity.
6. Examples of [how to select] the right variables
7. 25 words.

Task 26
a./b./c. Students’ own answers
d. Necessary – when quoting or producing a paraphrase, any information, statistics,
definitions, theories, models.
Desirable – when supporting/refuting claims and arguments.

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e. At the end of the work, after the conclusion and before the appendices.
f. In alphabetical order using the authors surname (see section on Harvard Referencing)
g. Reference List: details of every source referred to directly or indirectly (quoted or
paraphrase).
Bibliography: lists all works read, including those not referred to in your work. i.e.,
additional/background reading.

Task 27
1a
1. When Salovey and Mayer coined the term emotional intelligence in 1990 (Salovey &
Mayer, 1990), they were aware of the previous work on non-cognitive aspects of
intelligence. They described emotional intelligence as a form of social intelligence that
involves the ability to monitor one’s own and other’s feelings and emotions, to discriminate
among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and action (Salovey &
Mayer, 1990). Salovey and Mayer also initiated a research program intended to develop
valid measures of emotional intelligence and to explore its significance. For instance, they
found in one study (850 respondants) that when a group of people saw an upsetting film,
those who scored high on emotional clarity (which is the ability to identify and give a name
to a mood that is being experienced) recovered more quickly (Salovey, Mayer, Goldman,
Turvey, & Palfai, 1995). In another study, (1500) individuals who scored higher in the
ability to perceive accurately, understand, and appraise other’s emotions were better able
to respond flexibly to changes in their social environments and build supportive social
networks (Salovey, Bedell, Detweiler, & Mayer, 1999).

2. In the early 1990s Daniel Goleman became aware of Salovey and Mayer’s work, and this
eventually led to his book, Emotional Intelligence. Goleman was a science writer for the
New York Times, whose beat was brain and behavior research. He had been trained as a
psychologist at Harvard where he worked with David McClelland, among others.
McClelland (1973) was among a growing group of researchers who were becoming
concerned with how little traditional tests of cognitive intelligence told us about what it
takes to be successful in life.

3. An example of this research on the limits of IQ as a predictor is the Sommerville study, a

40 year longitudinal investigation of 450 boys who grew up in Sommerville,
Massachusetts. Two thirds of the boys were from welfare families, and one-third had IQs
below 90. However, IQ had little relation to how well they did at work or in the rest of their
lives. What made the biggest difference were childhood abilities such as being able to
handle frustration, control emotions, and get along with other people (Snarey & Vaillant,
1985).
Another good example is a study of 80 Ph.D.s in science who underwent a battery of
personality tests, IQ tests, and interviews in the 1950s when they were graduate students
at Berkeley. Forty years later, when they were in their early seventies, they were tracked
down and estimates were made of their success based on resumes, evaluations by
experts in their own fields, and sources like American Men and Women of Science. It
turned out that social and emotional abilities were four times more important than IQ in
determining professional success and prestige (Feist & Barron, 1996.)

4. Now it would be absurd to suggest that cognitive ability is irrelevant for success in science.
One needs a relatively high level of such ability merely to get admitted to a graduate
science program at a school like Berkeley. Once you are admitted, however, what matters
in terms of how you do compared to your peers has less to do with IQ differences and
more to do with social and emotional factors. To put it another way, if you’re a scientist,

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you probably needed an IQ of 120 or so simply to get a doctorate and a job. But then it is
more important to be able to persist in the face of difficulty and to get along well with
colleagues and subordinates than it is to have an extra 10 or 15 points of IQ. The same is
true in many other occupations.

1b: Students’ own answers

1c: Suggestion
When the first business journal was started in London in 1765, there were no direct models to
build on. Several scholars have discussed the possible influence of written sources, e.g. the
traditional scholarly letters between engineers (Anthony 1983), newsletter reports (Smith,
1986), the philosophical essay (Farmer, 1987) and the scientific books of Mathew Boulton
(Chaplin, 1984). Derwent (1988), however, argued the importance of the discussion among
the engineers themselves.

1d
Italics = agreement; underlined = shift of point of view

According to Daley (1966), women alleviated the pains of factory work by developing kinship
links with other workers. Similarly, Oxman (1972) found that adaptation to factory life was
facilitated by the creation of a pseudo-family. Skinner (1998) also notes that the female
subculture is based on personal relationships with other women workers. Others, however,
believe that the subculture in factories employing mainly women is undergoing a gradual shift
that more closely resembles that of predominantly male environments. Firnly (1982) states,
for example, that the cooperative caring community that has embodied characterizations of
female employees has evolved into a more dynamic and competitive climate.

Task 28/29
Reference to the Literature
Suggested answers:
Reference Type Example Purpose
“…one of the most pivotal As part of a definition of the
A direct quotation followed by
concerns of modern term motivation and to
the author, date of
organizational research” highlight its importance in
publication, page reference.
(Baron, 1991:1). organizational research.
In contrast Quinlivan To contrast with previous
A summary or paraphrase
(2001:21) states that from research mentioned about
preceded by the author (used
1980 to 1998 world child the ethics of MNCs and to
as subject) and followed by
labour rates tumbled from use statistics as evidence for
the date of publication.
20% to 13%. his argument.
A general statement referring Motivation research has a
to more than one piece of long history of considering To identify and summarise
research followed by a employee motives and needs general trends in motivation
number of relevant authors (Alderfer, 1969; Maslow, research.
and dates of publication. 1954; McClelland, 1961).

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Reference Type Example Purpose

In its “Human Rights As part of his discussion he
Protection Standard”, (quoted contrasts the company’s
A reference to a secondary in Can Ka Wai, 1996:56) written policy with other
source or author in a primary Reebok affirms, “Reebok will testimonies to show that they
work. not work with business do not uphold ethical
partners that use forced or business practices despite
other compulsory labour.” their Protection Standard.
Atkinson (1990), writing
about experiments with
quality circles in further
education colleges, also
comes much to the same To note a key finding in a
conclusions…He concludes piece of research that
his study with the words: supports the main idea
A reference to the “Quality circles are not a developed in the section.
immediately preceding panacea, but they can have
reference. dramatic results in terms of The quotation completes the
staff involvement, morale and paragraph well by giving the
identification with the aims of reader a memorable
the organization. There are conclusion of the main point.
no disadvantages to
introducing a quality circle
programme, only varied
levels of success” (ibid: 89).

Task 30
Acceptable paraphrase begins after approach 4. Remember that substantial changes in
organization, language and detail are necessary.

Task 31
1. Passive to active; use of synonyms to change the sentence structure
2. The level of motivation…is very low > Very low motivation
3. Money > income; company employees > workforce; Western countries > developed
countries; knowledge and skills > expertise
4. While > although. Also, the source contains two sentences, whereas the paraphrase
combines the sentences into one.
5. Order of clauses has been swapped (i.e.: ‘To try to increase value…’ is at the start of the
paraphrased/summarised version).
6. ‘raise money’ to ‘the raising of money’
7. ‘the expansion and consolidation of…’ to ‘Large companies have increasingly been
expanding and consolidating…’

Task 32
1. Word form, order of information.
2. Synonyms.
3. Synonyms, word form and order.
4. Active to passive, word form, different logical connectors.
5. Passive to active, changing order of information, different logical connectors.

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Task 33
Examples of possible answers:
1. It may be surprising to note that, as well as being responsible for auditing the world’s
biggest corporations, the small number of large accountancy companies also provide non-
auditing services to the same companies, from which they receive a significant financial
return.
2. The threat of industrial action caused platinum prices to soar as a result of fears over
availability
3. Tobacco companies have redirected their focus onto the emerging markets as a result of a
rise in awareness of health issues and growing pressure on smokers in the West. In order
to protect their existing markets some producers, such as Philip Morris, have created
promotional campaigns that minimise the risks associated with passive smoking. These
campaigns have caused controversy.
4. Evaluation of a company’s core competences, benchmarking, often reveals some
surprises when that company is compared to “best in class”. Nowadays benchmarking, in
both sectors of enterprise, has become a complete investigation into a company’s core
abilities and assessment of vital factors in success.

Task 34
Example of possible answer:
In order to achieve that increasingly sought after competitive edge, companies have to use
strategies other than pricing to make them unique, due to the competitiveness of retailing.
Many are therefore concentrating on providing customer satisfaction. It has been shown that
companies which utilize this successfully seem to show an increase in market share and
customer loyalty, while companies which ignore it have lost customers to their competitors.

Task 35
Students’ own answer.

Task 36/37
Notes on article: Globalisation Generates Risks for Business
Survey: Into European and U.S. attitudes to risk and risk management among international
business directors
By: Industrial Research Bureau
Report published by: Control Risks Group Consultancy
Findings:
Globalisation and development of communications technologies  increased concerns
among executives concerning risks (68% of U.S. executives believed increased risk for
investors)
Risks:
Security Risks Reputational Risks Political Risks
st st st
kidnapping (1 ) shareholder action (1 ) international sanctions (1 )

terrorism consumer activism currency devaluation

extortion human rights economic issues

organised/petty crime corruption

fraud

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Perceptions of Risk by Geographic Area

1. Increase perceived in Russia and ex-Soviet Union
2. Static/Decrease in the Middle East (76%), North Africa (59%), Latin America (67%)
(except Brazil)

Task 38
1a. Students’ own answer 1b. Students’ own answer

Task 39
Students’ own answer.

Task 40
nd
Loughlin, M., Maxwell, H. & Overall, C.S. (2012) BME Academic Writing Guide. (2 edition).
Birmingham:EISU

Task 41
Mini Bibliography:
Adler, C. (2003, 29 Sept.) ‘Copied Coffee?’ Fortune [online]. 148 (6): 48. Available from
http://gateway.proquest.com [Accessed on 2 March, 2004]

Ambrose, M.L. & Kulik, C.T. (1999) ‘Old Friends, New Faces: Motivation Research in the
1990s’. Journal of Management, 25 (3): 231-292.

Arlidge, J. (2003, 30 Nov.) ‘Jean Genius’. Guardian Unlimited Special Report [online].
Available from http://www.guardian.co.uk [Accessed on 1 December, 2003]
th
Handy, C. (1999) Understanding Organizations (4 edition). Harmondsworth: Penguin.

Kirkman, B.L., Gibson, C.B. & Shapiro, D.L. (2001) ‘'Exporting’ Teams: Enhancing the
Implementation and Effectiveness of Work Teams in Global Affiliates’. Organizational
Dynamics, 30 (1):12-29.

Schwartz, P. (2001) ‘The official future, self-delusion and the value of scenarios’. In: Pickford,
J. (ed.) F.T. Mastering Risk Vol. 1: Concepts. Harlow: Pearson Education Ltd, pp.42-46.

Task 42
1. Past simple
2. Present simple

Task 43
Verbs which show what the writers did / argued (Tutors may wish to draw attention to
patterns of collocation in this exercise, e.g.: undertook – research; developed – typology;
devised – model…)
1. undertook 2. developed 3. identifies 4. derived 5. developed 6. used
7. devised 8. distinguishes

Matching Exercise
1. (iii) concludes 2. (vii) concludes 3. (ii) suggests 4. (iv) states 5. (vi) shows
6. (i) argues 7. (v) believes 8. (viii) argues

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Task 44
Aim Results Opinion
confirm claim +

reveal emphasize ++

establish hold –

demonstrate point out –

identify stress ++

prove consider –

Task 45
verb + that + verb + ‘wh’ word +
verb + noun
sentence sentence
prove   

state   

declare   

contend   

say   

argue   

discuss   

examine   

criticise   

define   

propose   

Task 46
Exercise 1 Exercise 2
1. Kotter notes 1.  e.g. states

2. Kay argues/finds 2.  (that)

3. Gill reported/found 3.  conclude that

4. Hertzberg
4.  e.g. claimed
revealed/showed
5. Covey claims/ suggests 5. 

Task 47
1. By placing (sic) after the mistake, e.g.: ‘Students rarly (sic) enjoy essay writing’ (Bloggs,
2007:1)
2. Secondary referencing: Jones (1999) cited in Bailey (2003:32) argues that…

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3. Repetition of ‘the concept of motivation at work’. An acceptable way of quoting here would
be: Brown (1998:23) states that ‘the concept of motivation at work…’
4. The writer’s focus is the difference between groups and individuals, whereas the focus of
the quote is on group-think. Also note, the page number is missing.
5. An example of customer retention and how this is beneficial to companies.
6. Several notable changes, including:
 New line started for the quote
 [Long] quote has been indented
 No quotation marks for an indented quote
 Slight reduction in font size (optional)
7. Through the use of three dots (…)
8. The addition to the text is placed [within square brackets]
9.
i. Murray (year:page) has defined health as ‘…a complete physical, mental and social
well-being’.
ii. As Pearson (year:page) states, ‘Self-motivation to learn is preferable to motivation
imposed by external resources’.
iii. Johnson and Scholes (1984:44) argue that, ‘faced with the need for change,
managers will seek to deal with the situation in ways which protect the recipe from
challenge’.
iv. According to Porter (1986:page) ‘competition is governed by five external forces’.
v. Cole (1996:page) estimates that, ‘women hold less than 5% of senior management
posts, and perhaps some 26% of all managerial positions’.

Task 48
1 ! exclamation mark 2. . full stop 3. ; semi-colon 4. : colon
5. , comma 6. ? question mark 7. / forward slash 8. ( ) brackets

Task 49
1. Two of the managers, Ms Haines and Mr. Hondo, expressed themselves with total clarity
during the meeting. [this punctuation is correct if the writer means that the two named
people were the managers who spoke with clarity at the meeting]
2. Two of the managers, Ms Haines and Mr. Hondo expressed themselves with total clarity
during the meeting. [this means that four people spoke at the meeting; the two managers
are unnamed]
3. He awoke early, so as to prepare for the intensive day that lay ahead. [this comma is
incorrect as the words after so give the reason/purpose for his early rise]
4. He awoke early, so he was prepared for the intensive day ahead. [here, the second clause
is a result, therefore the comma before it becomes necessary].
5. Professor Toolan, the Head, of the Department, spoke, at length, during the meeting. [the
commas after Head, spoke and at length – are all unnecessary/incorrect]
6. The man, wearing the blue blazer, is the team leader. [these commas are unnecessary as
the description of what he was wearing is part of what identifies him]
7. He bought a house, a car, a yacht and a motorbike with the money awarded to him at the
tribunal. [these commas are all correct

Task 50
1. He was unsure of what could be done to rectify the problem [full stop needed at end]
2. The chair expressed delight at the solutions put forward. [chair needs a capital C]

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3. Mr Alexander phoned at 13.00 and left the following message please ring after 16.00.
[insert a colon after message]
4. It’s incorrect isn’t it? [a comma is needed after incorrect]
5. A number of solutions had been proposed for example, offering a bonus scheme or an
award for employee of the month. [either a comma or semi-colon is needed after
proposed]
6. The managers from three regions, East Anglia Dorset and the West Midlands were
present at the meeting. [a comma is needed after Anglia]
7. The year end results exceeded the expectations of the team. [hyphen needed between
year and end]
8. Baker 1992 argues that isomorphic equivalents are a rarity in translations. [the year should
be placed within brackets ( ) ]
9. The teams suggestions were put forward one after the other. [place an apostrophe after
teams/before the ‘s’ in teams – depending on your meaning]
10. These hierarchy of needs are said to influence the choices made by us during our working
lives. [place hierarchy of needs in single inverted commas/capitalise]

Task 51
1. The managers, coordinators, secretaries, and support staff, were asked to convene in the
meeting room. The managers, coordinators, secretaries and support staff were asked to
convene in the meeting room.
2. The CEO rising to address all present tripped and fell. The CEO, rising to address all
present, tripped and fell. (the non-defining clause contains additional information).
3. In fact the strategy should have been abandoned immediately. In fact, the strategy should
have been abandoned immediately.
4. There was some uncertainty as to when ‘Your’s sincerely,’ and ‘Your’s faithfully,’ should be
used. There was some uncertainty as to when ‘Yours sincerely,’ and ‘Yours faithfully,’
should be used.
5. On the surface, it appeared to be a good idea, but closer inspection revealed that there
were flaws in the suggested course of action. [this is correct]
6. People, like scientists and inventors often appear eccentric to the rest of us. People like
scientists and inventors often appear eccentric to the rest of us. [the phrase like scientists
and inventors is a defining clause, hence it should not be preceded by a comma].
7. ‘We will succeed, he exclaimed. ‘We will succeed!’ he exclaimed.
8. As sales declined even further it was decided that the product would be withdrawn from
the market. As sales declined even further, it was decided that the product would be
withdrawn from the market.
9. In reality its not easy to launch a new product and much is crucial to it’s success. In reality,
it’s not easy to launch a new product and much is crucial to its success.
10. Who’s fault it was could not be established. Whose fault it was could not be established.
11. A pleasant end of year party was had by all. A pleasant end-of-year party was had by all.
12. Paria said the Manager is a very good worker. ‘Paria,’ said the Manager, ‘is a very good
worker.’ [OR: leave it as it is if Paria is the one making the comment…]

Task 52
1. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. [eats children too?]
2. Dinner Special: Turkey £2.35; Chicken/Beef £2.25; Children £2.00. [these kids are cheap!]
3. Please go slowly round the bend [don’t become mad too rapidly]
4. Animals drive very slowly [animals behind the wheel…? Could be tricky!]
5. Caution automatic door push to operate [?!...push button to open door]

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6. This door is not to be used as an entrance or exit [so…what is the door for…?
Emergency/Fire Exit]
7. One hour photos. Collect tomorrow. [that’s a long hour…!]
8. Same-day cleaning. All garments ready in 48 hours. [we obviously take ‘same day’ to
mean very different things]
9. Seasonal toilet roles. [..what roles (rolls) are the toilets playing?!...]
10. Prize-winning sausages. Once tasted, you’ll never want another. [perhaps we will never
eat sausages again!]

Task 53
Students’/teachers’ own answers.
The student did not study on the BME!

Task 54
Students’ own answers.

Task 55
a. Subject/verb agreement
plays
E-commerce play a vital role in the business world today. As a result,
have been
many retailers has been selling their products on the internet. What are
implications
the implications for customer loyalty?
b. Tense
knew Before mass marketing, bank managers know the names of every
have never seen client. Now many people never saw their bank manager once. More
are realising companies realise that consumer services and customer relationship
management are the keys to growth.
c. Prepositions
at the end of China will become a member of the WTO on the end of this year. There
joining the is no doubt that China joining in the WTO is a long cherished dream. In
In order to face order for facing the competition after entry, China ought to make
preparations in all aspects.
d. Singular/plural
effects
This situation will have many negative effect on local grocery stores,
customers
they will lose their customer and some may close down. They can offer
offer convenience
many conveniences to customers but are weak in the face of
superstores
competition from big superstore like Tesco.
the challenge e. Articles
foreign competitors In conclusion, the car industry is facing challenge of the foreign
consolidation competitors. The consolidation is the trend around the world. The
innovation innovation of the car industry mainly depends on government’s
the government’s investment and policy.
analyse f. Word form
encouraging All of the theories of motivation expound and analysis the factors of
stimulating encourage employees and the methods of stimulate employees. The
dominant dominate theory is that of Maslow.

Task 56
1. has been 2. factors

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Leadership is considered one of the most important factor influencing organizational

performance and achievement of goals over the last 30 years.

3. have 4. proposed
Although many definitions of leadership has been propositioned over the years, we can say
that leadership is the practise of influence.

6. emphasis 5. practice 7. psychological

The primary emphasize of early research of leadership was psychologic and focussed on the
personality characteristics found among successful leaders. It was not until a sociologic view
of leadership was combine with a psychologic view that progress is made. 8. sociological
9. combined 10. psychological 11. was
Two major questions need to be answered: 1) How do we know when leader is effective?
and 2)
12. a

What factor determine whether or not a given style of leadership behaviour can be reliable?
13. factors
14. remain
Reliable answers to the first question remains the subject of continuing research. The
15. is problem are that the goals of leader are many and each constitute a valid dimension of leader
effectiveness. At the very least we can say the following are elements of leader effectiveness:
a) individual effectiveness of subordinates for accomplish their tasks, b) the productive or
efficiency 16. a 17. constitutes
18. to 19. productivity

of groups of subordinates to accomplish their tasks, c) the moral or satisfy of subordinates,

and d) 20. morale 21. satisfaction

22. quality
the qualitie of products or services generated by those groups.
Fortunately, research on what is the most effective leadership style has become the topic of

24. efforts 23. became

serious research efforts during the 1970s. Two such effort deserve our attention: the work of
Fred Fiedler and also the path-goal theory of leadership.
Adapted from Arnaudet and Barrett (1984) Approaches to Academic Reading and Writing. New Jersey: Prentice Hall

Task 57
Adler, P.S. (1991) ‘Workers and Flexible Manufacturing Systems: Three installations
compared’. Journal of Organisational Behaviour, 12, : 447-460.

Ambrose, M. & Kulik, C.T. (1999) ‘Old Friends, New Faces: Motivation
Research in the 1990s’. Journal of Management, 25 (3), pp.231-292.

Cheney, A., Sims, R. & Manz, C. (1993) ‘Teams and Total Quality Management: An
International Application’. In Manz, C. & Sims, R. (eds.) Business Without Bosses. New York:
Wiley.
nd
Hertzberg, F., Mausner, B. & Snyderman, B.B. (1967) The Motivation to Work (2 edition).
Salt Lake City, UT: Olympus Publishing.

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Hughes, C. (3 May, 2001) ‘Corporate Profile: Alan Yurko; Don’t mess with the tough guy’. The
Independent [online]. Available from: http://www.news.independent.co.uk/business/news/
[Accessed 25 May, 2001]

James, C.R. (2003) ‘Designing learning Organisations’. Organisational Dynamics [online]. 32

(1), :46-61. Available from:
http://sciencedirect.com/science/journal/00902616 [Accessed 2 April, 2003]

Mabey, C., Salaman, G. & Storey, J. (eds.) (1998) Strategic Human Resource Management.
London: Sage.

Nel, D. & Pitt, L. (1993) ‘Service quality in a retail environment: closing the gaps’. Journal of
General Management, 18 (3), :37.

Sallis, E. (1990) Total Quality Management in Education. London: Kogan Page.

Vroom, V.H. & Deci, E.L. (eds.) (1970) Management and Motivation. London: Penguin.

Task 58 Correcting a Draft

Suggested improvements
Many people believe that price is the only factor that people care about in the Internet market
and that brands have little contribution. Although price transparency is one of the most
important factors that people may consider on the Internet, I still disagree with the above
opinion. Not only do brands represent quality in products, but they also have many benefits
for customers. This article will discuss what a brand is and also examine purchasing trends on
the internet. Thus, we can easily evaluate that price transparency is not the only rule that
governs purchasing on the Internet.

According to Bibb (2001:page no.), “a brand is a name, term, design, symbol or any other
feature that identifies one seller’s goods or service as distinct from those of other sellers.” A
brand is also a communication tool that guarantees the quality of products and provides a
sense of safety or satisfaction for customers. Therefore, some luxury brands such as BMW or
BENZ not only represent quality in products but they also can satisfy people’s desires.

Student’s typical mistakes: articles and use of singular/plural

Task 59
Suggested improvements
a. 9 b. 2, 4 c. 5 d. 2
e. 2, 5 f. 3, 5 g. 1, 2 h. 7
i. 9 j. 4 k. 5 l. 1
m. 6 n. 6 o. 3, 4, 8 p. 7
q. 8 r. 10 s. 10 t. 5

Task 60 Match Tutors’ Comments with Students’ Work

1b 2c 3a 4d 5e
Task 61
Students’ own answers

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Task 62
Possible answers:
1. Reading the question paper
 Read the instructions very carefully
 Check both sides of the exam paper

2. Choosing which question(s) to answer

 Annotate the questions as you read them: can you answer each part adequately?
 Highlight the keywords in each question
 Do you have enough background/supporting information to fully address the question?

3. Deciding the order in which to answer the questions (if applicable)

 Check the instructions on the exam paper: The questions may have to be written [on the
answer sheet] in a particular order
 Answer the easier questions first

4. Time management
 Know how much you can write
 Divide your time equally between all questions, where applicable
 Place your watch on the table in front of you and regularly check your remaining time

5. Planning your answer

 Use the first few minutes to brainstorm the question
 How will you develop the answer
 Spend a minute to write a BRIEF outline of your answer

6. Using your knowledge to answer the question – How?

 Be relevant at all times
 Explain and provide examples, don’t just give facts
 Make reference to relevant theories, models, concepts
 Be selective: don’t regurgitate all you know about the topic

7. Writing your introduction

 Make sure you refer to the question and show how you are going to answer it
 Move from the general to the specific in your opening sentences
 Provide succinct background information to the topic and a definition, if necessary

8. Writing the middle sections (main body)

 Write in clearly separated paragraphs – with easily identifiable paragraph topics
 Use cohesive devices to link each paragraph
 Develop arguments/points in a logical manner

9. Writing your conclusion

 Don’t repeat yourself
 Don’t apologise for your English!
 Provide a brief summary followed by your opinion
 Keep it short and noteworthy

10. Checklist at the end of the exam

 Check for illegible words; Check you have numbered the questions
 Leave a few minutes at the end of the exam to proofread; Neatly cross-out mistakes
 Check that you have written your name on the answer sheet!

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Task 63
1. Evaluate
2. Explain
3. How far do you agree…
4. Compare and contrast
5. Discuss
6. Assess
7. Give recommendations
8. Summarise; comment
9. List; evaluate
10. Give recommendations; comment

Task 64
POSSIBLE ANSWERS
1. Skim-read the case study. Highlight/underline key points in your second reading and use
this to synthesise the information from the text. This will check your understanding of the
case and will help you to interpret the data correctly.
2. NEVER copy information from the text. Your answer should provide an analysis of the
case – not a summary of the details. NB: The use of quotations is very rare in case study
reports, so avoid quoting where possible.
3. Always ensure that the main body of your case study report contains an analysis of the
problem(s) that you highlighted in the issue statement. In the analysis, you should look
specifically at the cause and effect of the problems and make predictions as to the likely
future effects if the problems are allowed to persist. Present a number of possible
alternatives and evaluate these in terms of the most probable and least likely outcome of
each suggested alternative.
4. Read the case carefully. Does your analysis contain the key issues from the case?
5. Case Study Reports often require some reference to theories, concepts or models. Make
sure you select the appropriate business theory and include this in your analysis.
Reference to suitable external experts is very likely to gain you some extra marks in the
exam.
6. Are the suggestions specific in relation to the analysis presented in your case? Explicitly
state how your suggestions would be of benefit to the company.
7. Are the recommendations realistic and feasible for the company being analysed or have
you simply suggested action that would be more suited to a larger/smaller company?
Consider what action needs to be taken urgently and what should be focussed on in the
shorter and longer terms.
8. Ensure that the recommendations are linked to your case analysis. The report is one piece
of writing which should flow logically from the Problem Statement to the
Recommendations. There should be no surprises at the end!
9. Leave some time to proofread at the end.
10. Make brief reference to the likely effect of the recommendations on the employees. How
will the suggested actions be beneficial to them?

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10.2 Appendix 2: Punctuation Section Reference List

Symbol Writing Error

 Missing word or phrase, e.g.: an article (a/an/the)

/ Word or phrase is unnecessary

T Tense used is incorrect

Sp. Spelling mistake

Vp The verb phrase is incorrect, e.g.: ‘He has ate’, ‘I is been wanting’, ‘I have spend’
The subject doesn’t agree with the verb, e.g.: ‘The women walks to university
SVA
every day’
Prep. Preposition is incorrect

S/P Singular/plural error (usually with nouns)

P Punctuation is incorrect
Style used in inappropriate, i.e.: you have used an informal style instead of a
S
formal one
W.O. Word order is wrong

? I cannot understand what you are trying to say! Check meaning.

W.W. Word used is inappropriate or wrong in this context

A connective or link-word is missing, or is wrong. Alternatively, the sentence may
C be wrong, but a connective ( e.g.: while, but, however, therefore) would improve
the sentence
M Meaning is ambiguous/unclear

W.P. Phrase used is inappropriate or wrong in this context

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10.3 Appendix 3: Functional Words & Phrase Attached to the Question

Phrase Meaning

Account for Give reasons for

Break down the information into its constituent parts and examine it in
Analyse
detail
Appraise Estimate the worth, value or importance of

Argue Use evidence to support or reject a viewpoint, opinion, position on a topic

Assess Say how important it is; judge

Clarify Present clearly; unpick; make clear

Comment on Remark on; expound; explain the importance of

Set together to show similarities and differences, agreements and
Compare
disagreements, advantages and disadvantages…
Consider Take into account; weigh advantages/disadvantages

Contrast Look for differences between

Define Give the meaning of

Demonstrate Show how; prove with examples

Describe Write in detail about the characteristics of

Differentiate Explain the differences between; distinguish

Investigate or examine by argument, debate, describe the important
Discuss
aspects, highlight the "pros and cons"
Evaluate Judge the importance or success of

Examine Investigate; enquire into

Explain Show the meaning of; give reasons for; make clear

How far...? Present and evaluate evidence for and against

Illustrate Explain with examples, or diagrams, charts or figures

Outline Indicate the important aspects; omit minor detail

Relate Show the connections between

State Set out briefly the main points

Summarise Bring together the main points

How true is it to say that? Discuss/explain in what ways and in what
To what extent...?
proportion X is correct, and in what ways it is incorrect.
Trace Follow the development of something from its origin

Adapted from http://www.ljmu.ac.uk/StudentServices

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10.4 Appendix 4: Symbols Used to Correct Written Work

Driscoll, D. (2009) The Owl at Purdue: Extended Rules for Using Commas. Available from:
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/607/02/ [accessed on 20 November 2009]

McCarter, S. (1997) A Book on Writing. UK: Intelligene

Punctuation (n.d.) Available from: http://2000clicks.com/Graeme/LangStructSpellingPunct.htm

[accessed on 22 November 2009]

Top 10 Rules of Punctuation (2007) Available from: http://listverse.com/2007/10/12/top-10-

rules-of-punctuation/#comment-227473 [accessed on 19 November 2009]

Writing for University Courses – Punctuation (2004) Sheffield Hallam University: Learning and
Teaching Unit. Available from: http://universitywriting.shu.ac.uk/punct/advice/s_double.htm
[accessed on 22 November 2009]

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10.5 Appendix 5: Symbols Used to Correct Written Work
BME 2013 ASSESSMENT: ASSESSED ESSAY FINAL WRITING EXAM
(Tick as appropriate)
Name of Student: ID No: BME Group: Assessment Group:
CONTENT 50%
 Some irrelevances &/or
 Minor irrelevances &/or
 All content is relevant to the misinterpretation of the  Content is largely irrelevant &/or
GENRE-SPECIFIC omissions may be present.
CONTENT assignment. The target reader is assignment rubric may be limited. Target reader is
Target reader is generally well
fully informed. present. Target reader is minimally informed.
informed.
partially informed.
 Limited knowledge, argument &
ideas, indicating that question is
 Knowledge, argument & ideas not fully understood.
are perceptive & relevant,  Knowledge, argument & ideas Alternatively/in addition, possible
showing some original thought.  Knowledge, argument & ideas are sufficient, but lack depth. inability to handle the question
 Resources used appropriately & are good. Ideas may be strong, but are linguistically.
comprehensively.  Good use of resources. marred by linguistic limitations.  Little reference to external
 Evidence of wider reading.  Some evidence of wider reading.  Some use of resources. sources, &/or over-dependence
 References correctly &  References generally well-cited  Background reading indicated. on one source.
ASSESSED ESSAY appropriately cited throughout. & Harvard-compliant with  Some references correctly cited.  Little, if any, evidence of wider
Correct & comprehensive occasional errors. Reference List is partially reading.
Harvard-compliant Reference  Work may contain unintentional accurate & Harvard-compliant.  Many inaccuracies &/or
List. academic misconduct.  Work contains unintentional omissions in Reference List, with
 Work is free from academic academic misconduct. little or no grasp of the Harvard
misconduct. System.
 Intentional academic misconduct
is evident.
35-50 30-35 20-30 0-20
 Knowledge, argument & ideas
 Limitations in knowledge,
 Knowledge, argument & ideas are sufficient, but lack depth.
 Knowledge, argument & ideas argument & ideas indicate that
are perceptive & relevant, Ideas may be strong, but are
FINAL WRITING EXAM are good. the question has not been fully
showing some original thought. marred by limitations in linguistic
understood.
expression.
35-50 30-35 20-30 0-20
AG = Assessment Group
AG 1, 2, 3: 70 - 100% = Pass | AG 1, 2, 3: 60 - 69% = Pass | AG 1, 2: 50 - 59% = Pass; AG 3 = Fail | AG 1: 40 - 49% = Pass; AG 2, 3 = Fail | AG 1, 2, 3: 0 - 39% = Fail
 LANGUAGE 50%

 Text is very well organised & coherent,

 Text is generally well organised &
& uses a wide variety of cohesive  Text is connected & reasonably
 Text is well organised & coherent, & coherent, & uses a limited range of
devices to very good effect. coherent, but it uses basic linking words
uses a variety of cohesive devices to cohesive devices.
 A broad range of academic &/or & a limited number of cohesive devices.
good effect.  A range of academic &/or business
business vocabulary, including less  Some academic &/or business
 A range of academic &/or business vocabulary is used largely
common lexis is used appropriately & vocabulary is used, generally
vocabulary, including less common appropriately; less common lexis may
effectively. appropriately, but there is repetition of
lexis, is used largely appropriately. be used inappropriately.
 A good range of simple & complex common lexis, with few less common
 A range of simple & complex  A range of simple grammatical
grammatical structures is used with full words used.
grammatical structures is used with a structures & some complex sentences
control & flexibility.  The grammatical structures used are
good degree of control & flexibility. have been formed.
 Errors, if present, are related to less simple with a limited degree of control.
 Occasional errors may be present.  Errors are noticeable, but do not
common words & structures, or occur  Errors may impede meaning.
 The conventions of genre, style, impede communication.
as slips.  The conventions of genre, style,
register & format are well met.  The conventions of genre, style,
 The conventions of genre, style, register & format are partially met.
register & format are generally well met.
register & format are fully met.

35-50 30-35 20-30 0-20

Adapted from: Cambridge English: Advanced Handbook for Teachers 2012, p.25)

Home Teacher’s Name: Home Teacher’s Signature: Date:

Second Marker’s Name: Second Marker’s Signature: Date:

ADDITIONAL COMMENTS: AGREED FINAL MARK %

70-100 60-69 40-59 0-39

Full operational command Good operational command Generally effective command Limited command

AG = Assessment Group
AG 1, 2, 3: 70 - 100% = Pass | AG 1, 2, 3: 60 - 69% = Pass | AG 1, 2: 50 - 59% = Pass; AG 3 = Fail | AG 1: 40 - 49% = Pass; AG 2, 3 = Fail | AG 1, 2, 3: 0 - 39% = Fail