December 13, 2023

Dear Ms. Williams,

The purpose of this letter is to explain the revisions I have made as a part of my final exam in
English 111. The essay I have chosen to revise is my “Education Narrative.” I want to revise this
essay because I know I can make it better and add more to it.
My writing has changed in this course mostly because I understand how to better format my
essays. That has been one of the biggest things I learned in this class. I now know how to
correctly space my header and title and how to properly use quotes. I think I have also improved
the flow of my writing and the endings to beginnings of my paragraphs during this course.
I chose this essay because it was my favorite piece I have written. I really enjoy writing about
my different life experiences and in this piece, I got to do exactly that. We had some freedom
with what we wrote about with also enough structure that I was confident in my writing. This
piece was very fun for my to write. I do however know there were some more things I would
have liked to add and change in this piece, so that’s why I chose to revise it.
During this course, I grew a lot more confident with my writing. I was able to express myself
more and write about things that I enjoyed. I also began to understand how to form more college-
level sentences and write my pieces in a way that was intriguing and in a way that people could
\\understand. My writing before this class didn’t have as much emotion in it. I never could
express myself how I would've liked. My improvements can be shown in this piece because I
changed all of my incorrect formatting. Formatting was one of the main comments on my essay,
so this was a big thing I revised. I fixed how I quoted my first sentence, and I corrected the
spacing in my header and title. I also added a few paragraphs on things that I really felt strongly
about. I thought that they should be talked about more. Adding these paragraphs improved the
flow of my essay tremendously.
I chose this essay to represent my best work because of how much I enjoyed writing it. I think
since I loved writing this piece, it is the one I tried the hardest on. I remember putting a lot of
time and effort into this essay because of how much I wanted to express my journey and how I
felt about my different teachers. I thought very hard about how I would word each paragraph to
truly express how I felt. I think I did a good job of wording most of this essay because of how
much time was put into it.
When writing my first draft of this essay, what I remember was writing down teachers that had
the biggest impact on me, and then thinking about what I might say about them. Writing about
the teachers tat left a good impact on me was the easiest part. I knew exactly what I wanted to
say about them and how I would say it. Writing about the teachers with a negative impact was a
little more difficult. I remember struggling with how to word stuff correctly and how I would go
about describing that person. I knew that I wanted to describe all the teachers in a way that
showed the reader that no matter if it was a good or bad teacher, it still helped me become a
better student in the end. Planning the essay out in my head first, was very helpful because once
it was time to write, it just flowed, and it was much easier.
In my experience, a peer review didn’t benefit me for this essay. It might have helped me but
unfortunately, my peer reviewer didn’t review my piece. One thing that did help me was my
mom looking over my piece and making sure that it sounded good. The most helpful feedback I
got was from my instructor because she told me exactly what needed to be changed and what
needed work. The most significant change I made in this essay is the two paragraphs I added.
One was about the importance of a teacher's impact on a student, and the other was about a
characteristic I have had since I was little that has always affected my school journey. I added
these two paragraphs because I felt that I moved past them too fast in the original essay, so I
wanted to talk more about them.
I used the process of prewriting, drafting, and revising to strengthen my essay by using each draft
to make the final essay better. I used help from my peers and instructor to improve each draft
until it was the best I could make it. Each time I wrote a draft, I found things that I wanted to
improve on and talk about more. Then I changed these in my final essay. These drafts helped me
to have my final product the best I could make it.
Looking back on my revised piece, I feel that the strongest parts of my essay are my fourth and
fifth paragraphs. To me, these are the strongest paragraphs because they were the ones I was
most passionate about. These paragraphs really show the two very different ways a teacher could
treat their students. In paragraph four, I went into detail about how wonderful my 8th-grade
science teacher was and how she truly taught me so much and treated me with so much respect.
In paragraph five, I explained how my 10th-grade biology teacher was the exact opposite and did
not care about her students. When writing these, I was putting a lot of emotion into the
paragraphs and that's why I think they are the strongest.
If I was given more time and instruction, I think I would spend more time revising my
introduction and conclusion paragraphs. I like how they are set up now, but I think I would
change some of the wording if I had more help. Other than that, I think the essay is how I would
like it to be.
When reflecting back on this course, I see that I have improved quite a bit in my writing. I
learned how to form a good essay and everything that goes along with it. I learned how to be a
good peer reviewer and actually give helpful information. If I got to take this course again, I
would want to practice my peer reviewing a little more to be sure I am truly understanding how
to go about it. This class was very beneficial to my writing skills and I have seen much
improvement from my previous writings.
Sincerely,
Cadance Craft
ccraft@student.lincolncharter.org
Cadance Craft
ENG 111
Professor Williams
2 October 2023
My Journey Through Education
 “A teacher may be the lone sliver of light, for a child, on any given day or may be the
shadow that silences a child’s hope. Teachers possess a true superpower, to lift up or cast down.
A teacher makes a difference, one way or another” (Angela Adams). This quote explains how
big of an impact a teacher can have on a student. Whether it is good or bad, teachers make more
of an impact on students than they think. My education journey has been filled with good and
bad experiences with teachers. I can list some amazing teachers that I have had that have helped
me become the person I am today. Unfortunately, the teachers I seem to remember a lot are the
ones that have left a negative impact on me. Having a bad teacher can be very difficult for a
student and very hard to stay on the right track. But ultimately every experience has only made
me a stronger person in the end.
Since I was little, learning has always been one of my favorite things. I have always been
so interested in school and it was always something that was important to me. One of my first
memories of learning was when I was just beginning to read. I remember being taught how to
sound out each letter over and over. One day after school, I was so excited to show my mom
what I had learned. I remember getting in the car and showing her I could read a stop sign. She
was so proud of me and I loved it. I think that is one of the main reasons school was always so
important to me. I love making people happy and feeling like they are proud of me. That was
always what motivated me to keep learning.
All through my childhood years, I strived to make sure everyone was proud of me. It
wasn’t really something I was taught; it was just a big part of me as a person. I always tried my
best at everything I did. In a way, it was also to please me, because once I knew other people
were proud of what I had done, only then did I allow myself to be proud of what I accomplished.
It wasn’t necessarily a good characteristic of mine, but it was a big part of who I was. It's still a
big part of who I am today.
Ever since elementary school, good grades have come easy for me. I never had to really
study or stress about it. I always thought it was easy even through the beginning of middle
school. I remember when I got to 8th grade, it was a little more difficult for me. We still weren’t
fully back from COVID and only going to school for half a week was not easy for me. My 8th
grade science teacher, Mrs. Lail, noticed my potential and really helped me stay on top of my
work. Even over Zoom she was very helpful. She was an amazing teacher and we learned so
much in her class. She taught in a way I could truly understand. Her lessons always really stuck
with me and weren’t just things I would forget the next day like it is in most classes. She truly
cared about each of us as students and as people and this really motivated me to keep going and
keep trying. I had such a good relationship with Mrs Lail and I am very thankful that I got to
have her as a teacher. I am still constantly using the things that Mrs Lail taught me, even into my
junior year of high school.
I really had to use all the things that Mrs. Lail taught me during my sophomore year
Biology class. The teacher of Biology was almost the exact opposite of Mrs. Lail. She didn’t
truly care about teaching us. Instead of teaching something she loved to students, she treated us
as if we were burdens to her. This teacher never really liked me as a person and that ended up
affecting how she treated me as a student. Science has always been one of my favorite subjects
so her attitude towards teaching us really affected how I felt about it. I don’t think teachers like
this realize how big of an impact they can have on a student. This teacher is the reason I began to
dread coming to school last year. I stopped caring as much as I used to because I didn’t think she
deserved for me to care about her class. I got my first B ever in her class. That’s when I began to
realize I needed to step it up. I decided I wasn’t going to fall behind just because she didn’t want
to teach me. I knew I needed to try my hardest no matter what.
The impact a teacher can leave is such a huge thing in teaching. Every single teacher
leaves an impact on every student, whether it be good or bad. I think most teachers don’t realize
how big of a deal it is. A good impact from one single teacher can flip a students whole attitude
about school. Unfortunately, one bad teacher can do the same thing. Teachers can change your
whole thought process in school from just one year.
One teacher who has left a good impact on me since my freshman year is my band
teacher Mr. Perry. Even though I don’t particularly enjoy band sometimes, he has always pushed
me to be the best I can be in class and as a person. Mr. Perry has always been someone I can talk
to about school or just if I need to talk about something. I don’t really love band but Mr Perry
has made it such a good experience that has had a great impact on me during my high school
years. I am very thankful for good teachers like him. Teachers who treat us students like people
and genuinely care about our future. That’s what a good teacher looks like to me.
Looking back on all my experiences, I am thankful for every one of them. The good and
the bad have made me who I am today. The good teachers have motivated me to keep going and
stay on the right track. The bad ones have shown me just how strong I am and that sometimes it
will be all up to me to stay ahead and make sure I am doing the best that I can. The bad teachers
help you remember and be appreciative of the good ones you have had. It can be hard when you
don’t feel like a teacher cares or actually wants to teach you, but you will feel stronger in the end
because you proved you could do it. Something I always try to remember is that I can’t let a
person affect my attitude or how I feel about a certain subject. I just have to keep working hard
and keep doing my best no matter what.