*

DINTLE'
SLI
FE*

I
nser
t1

Sat
urdaymor
ningatVaal
.
ihear dheavybr eathi
ngnextt omybedsi de.I
wasntsur ewhet heriwasdr eami ngori twas
actual l
yhappeni ng,butasf arasiknowil ockedmy
bedr oom whenigoti nbedl astni ght.Iwasst il
l
debat ingonwhet hert
oopenmyeyesornot ,unti
li
slowl yopenedt hem andiwasmetbyt heshockof
myl ife.Iquicklysatupandcover edmywhol ebody
withmyduvet ,
howdi dheevengeti nher e?.Imean
ilockedmydoorl astnight,hedi dntevenmovean
ich.Hej ustsmirkedandpl acedbackhi sshaf tinhis
pant s,thenwal kedoutofmyr oom.hewashand
jobinghi mselfwhi l
elookingatmybody, thethought
ofitjustmakesmesi ckandmakesmewantt orun
away.Imeani tishi shouseaf terall
,Simon
Mokwenamyst epf at
her.Amanwhor aisedme
f
rom bir
th,
whyhehasntt
ri
edt
orapemei
sonl
yby
mir
acle.

From theageof15year s,iwouldcat chhim

checkingmeoutbutiwoul djustpusht hataway
becausehei spr
acti
cal
lymyf ather.Butwhenigot
i
nmat rici twasworse,
hewoul djustbar geinmy
room knowi ngverywellthatiwouldbebat hi
ng.I
tri
edtell
ingmymom abouti tbutshewoul dquickl
y
brushitawaysayi nghei smyf athersohewoul dnt
doanyt hingtome.
Wel
litwasnousear gui
ngwithherbecauseiknow
t
hatsheisscaredofhim,andshesomehowf eel
s
t
hatsheowest hatmansincehetookherwhil
eshe
waspregnantwithmeandmar r
iedher.

Welliam for
wardatti
mesandigetal ongwit
h
manyguysi nourhood.sometimesithi
nkthatst
he
onlyreasonhehasn'
ttr
iedtoforcehi
mselfonme.
Hei sanSGBatourneighbori
ngschool,andheis
respectedbymanyinourhood.Iguessforci
ng
himsel
fonmemi ghtputhi
sreput
ati
ononthel
ine.I
tookmyphoneanddialedmyboyfr
iend.
*
phonecal
l*

Bae:mor
ningbabe,
howar
eyou?

Me:iam wel
lbabe,
whenar
eyoul
eavi
ng?

Bae:t
omor
row,
haveyoudeci
dedt
oleavewi
thme?

Me:st
il
lthi
nki
ngabouti
t,iam wor
ri
edaboutmy
mom.
I
nser
t2

Bae:butyoucantkeeponl i
vingunderthatman's
roof
,whatwillhappenwhenhedeci destofor
ce
himsel
fonyou? .Imeanyouar enot15anymor e,i
am sureyourmom wi l
lunderst
and.
Me:l
etmecal
lyouaf
tert
alki
ngt
omymom,
okay?

Bae:il
oveyouDi
ntl
e,andiwi
llt
akecar
eofyoul
ike
ihaveal
wayshave.

Me:idontdoubtyourlovebabe,butiam onl
y20
year
sold.Imeaniwi l
lbemovi ngwithmyboyfr
iend
toanot
hercit
y,i
tjustdoesntfeelr
ight.

Bae:yoursafet
ycomesf ir
stmyl ove,thi
nkaboutit
.
yourmom choset hatmanoveryou, yearsback.
Youneedanewwayofl iving,aposit
ivewayof
l
ivi
ng.Withthejobopportunit
yiwasof f
ered,
iwi
ll
beabletotakecareofyouandhel pyougett o
col
lege.

Me:okaybabe,
iwi
llcal
lyou.
Bae:
iloveyousomuch.

Me:il
oveyoumor
e.

Ihungup,t
henfinal
lymovedoutofmybed, and
madeit
.theniworemygownasimademywayt o
mymot her
'sr
oom.If oundherawakeandweakas
al
ways,shegavemeaf ai
ntsmil
easihelpedhersi
t
up,t
hensatnexttoher.

Mom:you.
..
youdontl
ookokaybaby,
what
'swr
ong?

Me:icantkeeponst ayi
ngherema, if
oundhi m
mast urbat
ingnexttomybedsi de.I
tstoomuchma,
l
ookwhathedi dtoyou.Imeanyouar esuffering
fr
om t heunknown,andyoucantevengot ot he
cl
inic.Hekeepsonpamper ingyouwi t
hpil
lst hathe
getsfrom hismistr
ess.
Mom:st
opi
tDi
ntl
e,st
opt
alki
ngi
llaboutyourf
ather
.

Me:st epf
atherma,howdoyoukeepondef ending
him evenaftert
hethingsikeeptel
li
ngyou.Why
cantyouseet hatyouaresickbecauseofhim and
hedoesntcar eaboutyou.

Mom:wat chyourtoneDint
le,
hei ssti
llyourfat
her
.
Whyar eyousoungr atef
ul?
,Hemadeyouwhoyou
aretoday.Her ai
sedyouashis,andmademeawi fe
whent hewhol eworl
dwasagai sntme.Yourso
call
edfatherranawayf r
om hisresponsibi
li
ti
es,
l
eavingmeal one.Iwaschasedoutofmyaunt s
housebecauseiwasyoungandpr egnant.
I
nser
t3

Simonoverl
ookedallt
hatandt
ookmeaspr egnant
asiwasandmar ri
edme.Stopbei
ngaspoiledbrat
andappreci
atehi
m.youneedtostar
tlooki
ngfora
j
obandst ar
tcont
ribut
ingi
nthi
shouse,j
usttokeep
your
sel
fbusy.

Me:(
cal
mly)i
tsnousear
guingwit
hyouma, Oupa
wasoff
eredajobi
nPret
ori
a.Iam t
hinki
ngof
l
eavi
ngwithhi
m.

Mom:whatdoyouwantf
rom meDi
ntl
e?

Me:iwantyoutobemymom, t
hat
sallihavebeen
aski
ngforal
lthosepastyear
s.Butiguessitwi
ll
al
waysbehim overmer i
ght?

Mom:gi
vememymedsandgl
assofwat
er.

Me:maij
ustt
oldyout
hatiam l
eavi
ng?

Mom:whatdoyouwantmet odoDi
ntl
e?,it
ri
ed
gi
vingyouadecentl
if
esot
hatyoudontwal
kinmy
f
ootst
eps.Butiguessif
ailed,
sinceyouwillbe
r
unni
ngawaywi thaboyf
riendjustl
ikeidi
d.

Me:youarebeingunfai
ronmerightnowma, how
doili
vei
nahomewher eidontf
eelsafe?
.Ihave
tol
dyousomanyt imesabouthi
sattemptsbutyou
dontdoanyt
hingaboutit
.

Mom:t hatfatbodyofyour smakesyouthi

nkthat
youareawomannow? .Yout hi
nkyoucanbecome
someone'swi f
enow? ,
wel lhewontmarryyou.He
wil
lleaveyoudr yandcold.

Me:that
sallyoucansayt
omeri
ghtnow?
,af
ter
ever
ythi
ngihavesaidt
oyouma?

Iwasbecomi ngsoemotionalr
ightnow,it
hought
tal
kingtomymom woul dmakemet hi
nkotherwi
se
aboutrunni
ngawaywithamanwhoi sonl
ya
boyfri
endtome.Butri
ghtnow, it
hinkit
sbett
erhi
m
t
hant
hispl
aceical
lahome.
Justthenmyst epf
atherwalkedinwithabowlof
porri
dge, hej
ustsmi l
ed.Helookedsocooland
unbothered,l
ikehewasnotcaughtdoi ngthe
unbelievabl
ethismor ni
ng.ijustmovedfrom where
iwassi tt
ingsincemymom washappi lyreadytobe
fedbyhi m.Istoodont hedoorwatchinghimf eed
her,shelookedhappy.Iguessiam t heproblem
here,imeanherf acebright
ensupwhenshesees
him.

Isadlywal
kedtot
hekit
chenandboi
ledwat
er,
then
gotinWhatsAppj
ustt
ocheckmymessages.
I
nser
t4

Ihadmessagesf r
om mybestfr
iendKeneil
weand
other
s.Ijustr
espondedmybestfri
endfi
rstwhil
e
waiti
ngformywat er
.Secondsl
atershecal
led.
*
phonecal
l*
Kenei
lwe:mogot
siont
sor
engna?
(fr
iendwhatar
e
yousayi
ng?)

Me:exact
lywhatisai
d,ket
samayal
eOupa(iam
l
eavi
ngwithOupa).

Kenei
lwe:butyoudonthavet
ofr
iend,
itoldyouthat
youcancomest aywit
hmeandmysi sterunt
ilwe
getj
obs.Pluschecker
sonmonday.

Me:andiam grat
efult
ohaveafr
iendli
keyou,
buti
wanttobeasfaraspossi
blef
rom her
e.

Keneil
we:butfri
endareyousur eabout
permanentlyst
ayingwithOupaatanot herci
ty?
.I
am nottr
yingtothinkbadlyofhi
m, butpeopl
e
changeyouknow.Especi all
ywhent heyknowyou
havenowher et
ogo.
Me:rat
herhimthanthi
shousef r
iend,
ifoundSi
mon
nextt
omybedt hismorning.Hewasbusy
masturbat
ingwhi
lel
ookingatme.

Kenei
lwe:yohSi
monwakul
ahl
e(Si
moni
ssi
ck)
.

Me:haholofr
iend(t
oomuchfr
iend)
,nowyousee
whyihavetobeawayfr
om her
e?

Kenei
lwe:mmewahaoyena?
(whataboutyour
mother?
)

Me:shel
oveshi
m,i
am t
hepr
obl
em her
e.

Kenei
lwe:caniat
leastseeyoubef
oreyougo?

Me:of
cause,Oupaar eret
samayahosane(Oupa
sai
dwewillbeleavi
ngtomorr
ow).
Kenei
lwe:great
,thenpackupandsleepoveratmy
housetoni
ght.PlusPal
esaisworki
ngnight.

Me:yeahsur
e,iwi
llcal
lyouwhenicome.

Wespokesomemor e,thenhungup.Mywat erwas

ready,sowal
kedwi t
hthekettl
etomyr oom and
pouredthewaterint
hebat hi
ngbasin.Theni
retur
nedthekett
lebacktothekit
chenandf ound
Simonwashingthebowli nthesi
nk.Hest opped
andlookedatme.

Si
mon:ai
ntyougoi
ngt
oeat
?

Onewoul dt hi
nkiam j
ustcrazyorobsessedwit
h
thi
sman.Hei ssocalm andunbotheredl
ikea
perf
ectfatherorhusband,ir
eall
ydontknowhowhe
doesthat.Ijustt
urnedbacktomyr oom andl
ocked
thedoor,thenpushedacoucht othedoor.
I
nser
t5

Ijustcoul
dn'
tunderstandhowhewoul dentermy
room evenwhenihavel ocked,
unlesshehasa
sparekeythatidontknowabout .

Ievenf
orgott
ocal
lbae.
*
phonecal
l*

Bae:babe.

Me:iwi
llgowi
thyou.

Bae:what?,
reall
y?.Imeanf i
nal
ly,
soshoul
dicome
helpyouwiththebags?.Imeanyoucancomesleep
overthenweleavetogetheri
nthemorni
ng.

Me:ial
readypr
omi
sedKenei
lwet
hatiwi
llsl
eep
overatherhouse,
sinceiwontbeseei
ngher
.

Bae:ohokbabe,buticansti
llcomehelpyouwith
thebags.Wewil
ldropthem atmyplace,t
henyou
canjustgowi
thyoursleepoverbagatyourfr
iend'
s.

Me:il
ovehowyout
hinkmyl
ove.

Bae:il
oveyoumissMokwena,ij
ustcantwai
tto
wakeupnexttoyouever
ymorning.

Me:
(bl
ushed)icantwai
ttol
eave.

Wehungupafteragreei
ngwit
ht heti
mehewi l
lbe
f
etchi
ngme.Iquickl
ybathed,
thenloti
oned.
Vaal'
sweatherwasperfect,
soiwor emyyell
ow
maxidresswithmygoldsandals.Thenti
edmyl ong
brai
dsandappl i
edabitofmakeuponmyf ace.
Thenimovedt hecouch,andunlockedt
hedoor.I
tookmybasi nanddiscar
dedt hewateroutsi
de,and
l
eftthebasi
nout si
de.Iwalkedbackinsideand
beganpacking,wheniwasdoneit extedbaeand
repl
iedsayi
ngishouldgivehim 20mi nutes.
Iusedthetimetobidgoodbyet omymom, ifound
herunderthecovers.Iwasntsurei
fshewasasl eep
ornot,butshemovediguessshehear dthe
footst
eps.Simonwasnotar ound,maybehewent
out.Ij
ustwonderhowmymom wi l
lcopewit
hout
mear ound,butt
henshet r
ustsherhusbandandi
havenospaceher e.

Isatwher
eiwassi
tt
ingear
li
er,
shest
il
ldi
dntl
ookat
me.

Me:iam goi
ngma,
ihopehet
akesgoodcar
eofyou
f
orme.

Shesti
lldidntl
ookatme, andi
tpai
nedmesomuch.
Ij
ustdecidedtoletherbeandgobackt
omyroom,
wher
eif
oundmyphoner
ingi
ngandi
twasbae.
*
phonecal
l*

Bae:babewher
eshoul
dipar
k?,
idontwantt
ofi
ght
wit
hSimon.
I
nser
t6

Me:parkatt
hecarwash,
iwi
llmanagewi
tht
he
bags.

Ihungup, t
hent
ookmybigbagandpul
ledmy
sui
tcase.Iwasnotpl
anni
ngoncomi
ngbackshame.

Iwal
kedoutwithmybags,
bumpi
ngi
ntoSi
monon
thef
rontdoor
.

Si
mon:goi
ngsomewher
e?
Me:youwoul
dn'
twantt
oknow.

Ipushedhi m outofmyway, asiwal kedtothegat e.

Ididntwantt ogivehim achancet oplaysomef ake
fatherlymannerst ome, iwasdef i
nit
elydone
stayinghereforthesakeofmymom.Iwal ked
furthertothecarwashwher eifoundbaepat ientl
y
wai ti
ngformel eaningbackonhi scar .Whenhe
l
ookeduphesawme, andquicklywalkedtomeas
het ookmybags.Hel oadedt hem inhiscar,
then
openedandcl osedthedoorf ormeont he
passengerseat .Thenwal kedtohissideanddr ove
off,heusedhi sfreehandt otakemyhandand
kissedi t
.

Bae:igotyoubabe,iknowthi
sisahugemove.I
promisethatyouwontregr
eti
t.

Me:
(smi
led)it
rustyoubabe.
25mi nutesl aterwear ri
vedatKenei l
we' shome, and
parkedont hegat e.Ijustt ookmyni ghtbagand
bri
ef lykissedbae, theniwal kedi nsidetheyar d.Asi
walkedf urtherin,iwaswel comedbymusi cplaying
softly.Iknockedont hedoor ,andt hedoorwas
openedmi nutesl at
erbyher .Shel aughedand
att
ackedmewi t
hat i
ghthug, that 'sonlyt heniheard
baedr i
veof f.Iguesshewasst illwat chingme.She
fi
nallyledmet otheki tchenwher eshewasbusy
maki ngf ood, thatswhenir eali
sedt hatiwas
actual l
yhungr y.Isatdownasiwat chedher
cont i
nuedohert hing, somehowiwasf eeli
ngdown.
Iknowi twasf ormyowngood, butij ustcouldn't
helpbutf eelbadaboutl eavingmymom and
runni ngawaywi t
haman.Oupai snotonl yjusta
man, heisamanil oveandt rust .Imeanwest arted
datingwheniwasi ngr ade10, andhei sal somy
vir
ginbr eaker .Iam sur eyoucanunder standhow
deepil ovet hi
sguy, wehadourupsanddownsbut
attheendi twoul dbeust oget heragai n.

Kenei
lwe:pennyf
oryourt
hought
s?
I
nser
t7

Me:j
ustt
hinki
ngaboutmydeci
sions.

Kenei
lwe:t
hat
sunderst
andabl
ebabe,
ijustwi
sh
t
herewasanotherway.

Me:pleasel
etsnotgot
her
e,youknowhowif
eel
aboutOupa.

Keneil
we:iknowbabe,andiam j
ustl
ookingoutfor
you.Imeanwecantjusttur
nablindeyeaboutthe
thi
ngsheusedtodot oyou.

Me:it
salli
nthepast
,andit
hinkhehasgr
ownnow.
Pl
ushewant st
otakemetoschoolwhenwegeti
n
Pr
etori
a.
Kenei
lwe:ohwow,
iguesshehasgr
owni
ndeed.

Kenei lwehandedmemypl at
eoff oodandj uiceand
joinedmeasweat etogether.Iknowshedoesnt
trustOupabecauseofhi spastmi stakes, andidont
blameher .Oupausedt obeaf uckboy, hewasl i
ke
acandyshop.Ever ygirlwant edapi eceofhi m,
whenwemeethewasal readyi ncollege.Hei s
act uall
y5year solderthanme, whichmakeshi m 25
year sthisyear .Alsomeanst hatwehavebeen
toget herfor5year s, duringmyschoolyear she
cheat edonmet wicewi thmyschoolmat es.
Kenei lwehat edhi mf r
om t hattime, butimanaged
tof orgivehim andmovedon.Il ovehi m somuch
andi thinkhehasgr ownnow.f rom thosei nci dents
hepr ovedtobet hebestboyf riendandil ear nedt o
trusthi m again.

Whenweweredoneeat i
ng,ihel
pedherwit
hthe
di
shest
henwewal kedtoherroom wher
ewe
pl
acedmybagnicelynextt
oherbedside.Welayed
onherbed,
conver
singaboutever
ythi
ngand
not
hingwhi
lel
ist
eningt
omusi c.
Mi
nut
esl
aterir
eci
evedacal
lfr
om bae.
*
phonecal
l*

Bae:babe,
areyougood?

Me:iam wel
lbabe,
andyou?

Bae:iam good,
iam busypacki
ng.Wontyouguys
needanythi
ngfort
onight
?

Me:iam sur
ewewillbef
inebabe,
I'
lll
etyouknowi
f
wethi
nkofsomet
hing.

Bae:okaygood,
iloveyou.

Me:
(bl
ushed)il
oveyoumor
ebabe.
Wehungup,
andKenei
lwewasal
lsmi
les.

Kenei
lwe:mmmh,
iguesshehasr
eal
lygr
ownhey.

Me:
(l
aughed)j
ustst
opi
tokay.

Wechill
edsomemore,ar
ound6pm wedeci
dedt
o
bakechocol
atemuf
fi
ns.
I
nser
t8

Whil
ewewer ebusyKenei
lwewascall
edbyher
boyf
ri
endsayi nghewasoutsi
de,soshel
eftmefor
anhour.Iusedthatt
imetoconti
nuebaki
ng,wheni
wasdoneij ustt
ookabath.

Shewal
kedinwhi
leiwas l
oti
oning,t
henidressed
i
nmypjs.Shebat
hedtooanddressedinherpjs,
whenshewasdonewewal kedt
othekitchenand
maderooibost
eawit
hthosemuffi
ns.Thenwalked
t
otheloungeandconnect
edamovie.

Me:wher
eisPal
esa?
,if
orgott
oaskyouwhenigot
her
e.

Kenei
lwe:shel
eftear
lyi
nthemorni
ng,shehad
t
hingstodobeforegoi
ngtowor
klater
.

Me:
mmhok,
iseeyouar
eser
iouswi
thKat
leho.

Kenei
lwe:
(laughed)wear
ejustf
ool
ingar
ound,
not
hingseri
ous.

Me:(l
aughed)ihopeyouarest
il
lpr
event
ingsi
nce
youarenotafanofcondoms.
Kenei
lwe:
(bust
edoutwithlaughter)il
ear
nedfrom
t
hebestshame, andyesiam preventi
ng.Iam goi
ng
t
omi ssyoubabe.

Me:iam goingt
omi ssyourcrazysel
ftoo,
butwe
wil
ltal
kdail
y.AndPretor
iaisnotanot
hercount
ry
babe,youcanalwayscome.

Kenei
lwe:of
causeiwi
llcomebabe.

Webondedthewhol eeveni
ng,
unt
ilitwasti
meto
sl
eep.Welockedthehouseandwalkedtoher
bedr
oom andslept.
Thenextmor ni
ngwewokeupar ound7am,wedidnt
moveoutofbed.Wej ustl
ayedther
eunderthe
covers,iguessitwasfi
nal
lysi
nkingint
hatiwas
real
lyleavi
ng.

Kenei
lwe:youcanst
il
lchangeyourmi
nd,
youknow?
Me:iam doi
ngt
hisf
ri
end,
atl
eastiknowt
hatihave
ahomeinyou.

Kenei
lwe:al
ways.

Wef i
nallymovedoutofbedaf terreci
evingat ext
from bae, wemadet hebedthenopenedt he
Wi ndows.Iwentt obath,
whi l
eshepr epared
breakfastf orus.Wheniwasdoneiwor emybl ack
skinnyj ean,yell
owonehandt opandbl ackvans
sneaker s.Itiedupmybr aidsandf i
xedmyf ace,
theni tookmyni ghtbagandwal kedtot hekit
chen.

Isett
leddown,
asshegavemeapl at
eoftoast
ed
cheeseandpal
onywithacupofcoff
ee.Sheal
so
j
oinedmeandat et
ogether
.
I
nser
t9
9am baetextedmet hathewasoutsi
de,ihugged
bestfr
iend.Theniwalkedoutsi
de,
asshest oodon
thedoorwatchingmegeti nt
hecar.Ibr
iefl
ykissed
bae,t
henwedr oveoff
.
Fr
om Vaalt
oPr
etor
ia.

Wehadabeaut i
fult
rip,whil
elaughi
ngandteasi
ng
eachot her
.Icoul
dseet hathewast r
yingsomuch
todistr
actmymi nd,sinceheknewthatiwouldbe
thi
nkingaboutmymom.
3hour slaterwear ri
vedataf latthatwewi llbe
stayingi n,il
ovedt heideaofst ayingint own.As
si
llyasi tmi ghtsound, butifeltli
keitwasanot her
l
eveli nmyl i
fe.Whenwewal kedi nthecompl exwas
awel lsecuredplace,baement ionedt hatwewer ein
Arcadi anotf arfr
om hi sworkpl ace.Wef i
nally
wal kedi nthebeaut i
fulandspaci ousf lat
,itfeltlike
adr eam comet rue.Ialwayswant edtost ayatr es
aftermat r
ic,butmymar kswer enott oogoodt obe
accept edatvar sit
y.Sobei ngint hisfl
atf i
ll
edupt he
gapt hatif el
twheniwasr ej
ect edbyVaaluni ver sit
y
oftechnol
ogy.Whi
leiwasbusyadmiri
ngthefl
at,
i
fel
thishandsonmywaist.Ismi
ledandtur
ned,asi
l
ookedathim.

Bae:whatdoyout
hink?

Me:iam i
nlovebaby.

Bae:(
laughed)great
,wehave4hour
sofr
est
ing
thenwear egoingtopar
ty.

Me:wej
ustar
ri
vedbabe,
topar
tywher
e?.Wi
thwho?

Bae:
(l
aughed)haveyouforgot
tenthatihavef
ri
ends
her
e,andigotthi
sjobthr
ought hem?

Me:youmenti
onedthatbefor
e,butdower
eal
ly
havetopar
tyonourfi
rstday?
Bae:okayyouhaveapoi
ntbabe,
butithi
nkwe
shoul
dgoshoppingsi
nceiam st
art
ingatwor
k
tomorr
ow.

Me:oh,butyouwer
ereadytopar
tyevent
hough
youwil
lbeworki
ngtomorr
ow?

Bae:(
smil
ed)youlooksocut
ewhenyougetal l
ser
iousbabe.Besi
desit
sonlyfourbl
ocksfr
om her
e
andwewer egonnaret
urnbackhereat10pm.

Me:wel
ltheansweri
sst
il
lno.

Bae:
(smi
led)yesma'
am.

Hetookmyf aceinbot
hhishands,
looki
ngdeep
i
ntomyeyes.Iguessreadi
ngdeepinmysoul,he
knewthatheturnedmeonwhenhedoest hat
.
I
nser
t10

Thesmi leonhisfacemadehi m morehandsome,

Oupai sacharmershame.Hei swhatical l"
perf
ect
",
heisdar kbutnottoodar k.Alwaysonbal d,andwel
l
tr
immedmust ache.Lazilybrowneyeswi ththick
l
ips,Tallandwellbuil
d.heusedt ohitt
hegym but
notanymor e.Sohest i
llhast hatwellbui
ldbody
withabi tofmokhabashowi ngof f
,heisj
ustmy
perfectmanandil ovehim somuch.

Bae:il
oveyousomuchmyt
hickmadam.

Me:(l
aughed)il
oveyout
oobabe,
sowhatar
ewe
eat
ing?

Bae:
(smi
rked)you!

Il
aughedatt
hatt
hought
,knowi
ngpr
ett
ywel
lthati
washungryforhi
mt oo.Hebegant
orunhi
shands
onmythickbody,whil
eourli
psmet.
Mi nutesl aterourclotheswer escar t
edont hefl
oor,
ashegent lypushedmeonournewbedand
kneeledbet weenmyt highs.hesmi l
edwhi l
e
admi ri
ngmybody, ij
ustwant edhi minsideme.He
slowlymoveduponme, ashebegant okissmy
nipplesandr ubbedmycl i
t.Hesuckedmyni ppl
eas
hebegant or ubmycl itinacircularmotionandi
justlostit.Ijustcouldn'thelpbutmoanoutl oud,
whi l
eihel dtightonthebeddi ngs.Heappl iedmore
pressur eonmycl i
tandr ubbedmef asterandfast
er,
unt i
lifeltmycl i
maxr ippingthroughme.
Withoutwasti
nganyt ime,hegotontopofme.He
pushedhisshaftinsi
demywetnana, hegavei
tto
medeepandhar d.hisri
ghthandreachedmycli
t
andrubbeditwhilethrust
ingi
nandoutofme.
Mymoanswer ecompet i
ngwithhisdeepgroans,he
knewt hatiwascloseasibegant ight
eningaround
him.Hequi ckl
ygotoffme, andturnedmear ound
sti
llonthebedashet ookmefrom behind.he
continuedhit
ti
ngitfasterandharderasikepton
screaminghi
sname,iguesshewasdr
ivenbymy
moansashewentwi del
yonmynanaandijust
couldn'
thol
dbackanymore.Wit
hmuchmore
thr
usts,hegr
oanedl
ouderaswebothcame.
Iwasjustt
ootir
edt odoanythi
ngelse,ijustl
ayed
onthebedashet ookhisvestandcleanedtheboth
ofus.Thenextt
hingiwasdeepasleep.
I
nser
t11

☆Oupa☆

Aftercleai
ngusup, ilayednextt oher.Watchingher
sleep,myper fectyellowt hickmadam.Thef actthat
shewasher ewi t
hme, mademer eal
isehowluckyi
am.Il ovehersomuch, andiam gladthatshewas
nowsaf eundermypr otect
ion.Justt
henmyphone
rang,iquickl
yt ookitf rom myj eanandwalkedto
thekitchensinceidi dntwantt owakemywoman.
*
phonecal
l*
Mbal
i:babe,
haveyouar
ri
ved?

Me:
umhyes.

Mbal
i:soiwi
llseeyout
oni
ght
?

Me:umh,
notr
eal
ly.Wear
etoot
ir
edt
ogett
oyour
par
ty.

Mbali
:haw,MrThabediiam t
hereasonyouar
e
her
e,andihaven'
tseenyouforamonthnow.

Me:areyougoingtokeepr
emi
ndi
ngmet
hatigot
t
hatjobbecauseofyou?

Mbal
i:nobaby,
iam sor
ryokay.Ij
ustmissedyou
somuch,iwashopi
ngtoseeyout oni
ght.
Me:wel lmygirl
fri
endisti
red,
soicantl
eaveher
alone.Besidesiam sur
eyourhusband,who
happenst obemybosswi l
lbeal
lhandsonyou
tonight
.

Mbali
:doyoureal
lyhavet
omentionthatf
atl
it
tl
e
gi
rlofyour
sinthi
sconver
sat
ionThabedi?

Me:iwi
llseeyout
omor
rowaf
terknocki
ngof
f,okay?

Mbal
i:f
ine,
justknowt
hatyouoweme.

Me:andiwi
lldoyougoodma'
am.

Mbal
i:
(l
aughed)il
iket
hesoundoft
hatMrThabedi
,
byef
ornow.

Ihungup,
thenhadagl
assofwat
er.Iknowwasi
am doingi swrong,butMbal iistheupgr adei
alwaysneeded.Imetheri noneoft henightclubsin
Vreenigi
ngayearago, wehadf unandshewas
honestaboutbei ngmar r
ied.Soiknewt hatwewer e
j
usthavi ngfunthatcamewi thgoodoppor t
uniti
es.
Herhusbandownsmi nesandabi ggestt i
re
companyt hatiwil
lbewor ki
ngat ,Mbalimadesur e
thatigetasuper vi
sionpositi
onandaf latthatiam
currentl
ylivi
nginwi t
hmywoman.Di nt
leisthe
womanil oveandwantt omar r
y,butinor dertotake
goodcar eofherihadt odosomebaddeci sionson
theway.Iwasnothappywi ththef actt
hatshewas
nothappyandsaf eatherhome,
I
nser
t12

soMbalicametomyrescueandgavemewhati
al
wayswantedsothaticanbeabl
etot
akeDi
ntl
e
outoft
hathouse.

Iknowitwi
llki
llDi
ntl
eifshef
indsoutaboutMbali
,
thi
siswhyihavetomakesuret hatshedoesnt
.I
knowmyr easonsdontj ust
if
ymycheat i
ngways,
butihadtodowhatihadt odotosecuremyf utur
e
wit
hDi nl
e.Shei stheonl ywomanilove,andihope
sheknowsi t.Aspr omised,i
wil
ltakehertoschool
andmakesur ethatshebecomeswhatsheal ways
wanted.Whi chistobecomeaneventpl anner,whi
le
iwasonmyt houghtsisawherwal kuptome
smil
ing.

Ipl
acedtheglassbackt
othesinkandwalkedto
her
,asshesnakedherarmsaroundmywai st.She
waswearingonlymytopandshelookedverysexy.

Me:f
utur
eMr
sThabedi
,youl
ooksupersexy.

Her
:(blushed)ohwel
lthankyoumrThabedi
,buti
am starvi
ng.

Il
aughedasshepout edhersmalll
ips,showi
ngoff
herchubbycheeks.Mywomani sar ealSout
her
n
Sothowoman, wit
hherr oundfaceandChi nese
eyes.Yell
owskintone,withabeaut
ifulthi
ckbody.
Heratti
tudeandconfidenceiswhatilovemor e,
she
warmsupmyhear tallt
het i
me.

Me:l
etsgogetr
eady,si
ncet
her
eisnof
oodi
nher
e
wemightaswel
leatout.

Shesmi led,aswewal kedtot heshowerandhada

quickonewhi l
ewear ei nthere.Oncewewer edone,
iwor ethecl othesiwaswear ingwhenicameher e
andshedi dt hesame.It ookmycarkeysandwal let
aswewal kedoutoft hef l
at.Ideci
dedt odr
iveto
Brooklynmal l,si
nceitwast hemal liwasmor e
famili
arwi t
h.Wef i
nal
lywal kedtoNandos, we
boughtourf oodt henwentt ot het
able.Il
eaned
for
war dandt ookherhand, sheblushedandi
smi l
edt henki ssedherhand.

Her
:dontdot
hatbabe,
wear
eint
hepubl
ic.
Me:whatam idoi
ngbaby?

Her
:maki
ngmebl
ush.

Me:(l
aughed)ilovemaki
ngyoubl
ush,
youar
eso
beauti
fulmylove.

Her:
(smi
led)thankyoubabe,
sof
aridontr
egr
et
cominghere.
I
nser
t13

Him:(l
aughed)youshouldn'
t,it
hinkyoushoul
d
resear
chaboutacollegearoundhere.Weneedto
getyouregist
eredassoonaspossi bl
e.

List
eni
ngt
ohim sayallt
hosewor
dsijustknewthat
ihadmadethebestchoi
cebycomingherewit
hhim.
Onet hi
ngineverdoubtwashi
slovef
orme,
iknow
forsurethathel
ovesme.

Me:
(smi
led)iwi
lldot
hatt
omor
rowbabe.

Him:good,
whenwear edoneher
ewewi
llhavet
o
getsomegrocer
ies.

Me:yessi
r.

Ourf oodf
inallycameandweat ewhilehavinga
l
ightconversation.Whenwewer edonewewal ked
topik'npayandboughtever yt
hingwewillneed,
evengotmyf avouri
tegoodi
es.
Wepayedt henwal kedtothecarwithourgr oceri
es.
Thenwedr ovebackt otheflat
,minuteslaterwe
arr
ivedandpackedever ythi
ngtogether.Thef l
at
wasf ul
lyfurni
tured,sowewer ejusthome.We
watchedamovi ewhi l
ekissi
nghereandt here,l
ater
onidecidedt ocookdi nnerbuthedecidedagai nstit
.
Sowedeci dedtohavechickenandmayo
sandwichesfordi
nner,
thenwewenttobathand
sl
ept.

Thenextmor ningiwokeupwhi l
ehewasbusy
dressingupf orhisfirstdayatwor k,
ifeltbadt
hat
hewokeupbef oreme.Soiqui ckl
ymovedoutof
bed,andr ushedt othebat hroom towashmyf ace
andt eeth.Theniwal kedt ohim andkissedhim,
thenbr okeitsecondsl ater.

Me:mor
ningbaby.

Hi
m:morningmylove,
your
eal
lydi
dnthavet
o
moveoutofbed.

Me:nobabe,
iact
ual
lyf
eel
badt
hatidi
dnthel
pyou
pr
eparef
orwork.
Hi
m:(smil
ed)andiam bl
essedtohaveyouinmy
l
if
e,pl
easegobacktobed.Plusidontt
hinkican
st
omachanythingt
hismorning.

Me:ohiam sor
rybabe,
younotsi
ckr
ight
?
I
nser
t14

Hi
m:nonobabe, iam f
ine.Iam j
ustner
vous,
iwi
ll
j
usttakeabanana.Nowdontforgett
odothat
r
esearch.

Me:
(smi
led)iwont
.

Webr iefl
ykissedthenhet ookacoupl eofhundreds
andpl acedthem onthesidedr awer, t
henwal ked
out.Ijustsmiledtomyself,thi
nkingofbl essediam.
Ijustdidntfeell
ikesl
eepinganymor e,soireached
formyphone.Whi chionlynoticednowt hatitwas
onsilent,damnihadpl entyofmi ssedcal l
sfrom
Keneilwe.Shemustbewor r
iednow, idecidedto
cal
lher
.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:ohwow,youdontevenhavedayssi
nceyou
movedtoPr
etor
ia,
Butyouhavealr
eadyl
earnedt
o
i
gnoremycal
ls.

Me:(
laughed)morni
ngtoyout
oof r
iend,andiam
goodthankyou.Ohyeahwearr
ivedsafely,
thank
youforaski
ng.

Her:
(bustedoutwit
hlaughter
)dontbul
lshi
tme
Dint
le,whywereyounotanswer i
ngmycalls.Iwas
evenstarti
ngtot
hinktheworst.I
fyouweretoo
busyyoucouldhavetextedmeaw.

Me:iam sosor
rymylove,
iwasst
il
lcaughtupin
mynewhomewi t
hthel
oveofmyl
ife.Iam t
rul
y
sor
ry,evenwor
semyphonewasonsi l
ent
.
Her
:okayf
ine,
nowt
ellmehowi
sit
?

Me:breat
htaki
ngbabe,
iknowitsoundssi
ll
ybuti
f
eelcompletenow.I
tsl
ikeadream comet
rue,
its
l
ikewhatGodhasalwayskeptforme.

Her:iam happyf
oryoumylove,
iam justhappy
whenyouar ehappy.Soi
shesti
llt
aki
ngyout o
school?

Me:yes,
iam evenl
eftt
oresear
chabouti
ttoday.

Her
:wow,t
hatsgoodnewsmyl ove.Iam gl
adheis
t
aki
nggoodcareofyou,
ijustmissedyoualr
eady.

Me:imi
ssyoubabe,
let
stal
klat
erokay?
Her
:okbabe,
haveagoodone.

Ihungup, t
henmadet hebedandopenedt he
Windows.Itookal ongshowerj ustt
hinki
ngabout
mymom backhome, ijustwonderedhowshecoul d
si
deli
neherowndaught erl
iket
hat.Butevenaft
er
ever
ythingist
il
llovehersomuch, iwishshecould
j
ustthinkofmeandbel ieveme.
I
nser
t15

Aftert
heshower,idri
edmyselfandloti
oned.Bef
ore
icouldwearanyt
hing,ideci
dedtocallmymom.I
dontreal
lyknowwhy, butij
ustf
eltl
ikeit
.
*
phonecal
l*

Simon:Di
ntl
e,yourmom cantcomet
othephone
ri
ghtnow.

Me:why?
,what
swr
ong?
Si
mon:not
hing,
shei
sst
il
lnappi
ng.

Me:oh,
pleaset
ellhert
ocal
lmewhenshewakes
up.

Simon:it
hinkyoushoul
dstopcal
li
nghere,
you
deci
dedtoleaveherher
e.Sodontpret
endl
ikeyou
aret
hinki
ngofhernow.

Me:howdar eyousayal
lthatt
ome?
,af
teral
lthe
nonsenseyoukeptdoi
ngtomeandmy
mom? (shout
ing)
.

Simon:heyyouli
tt
lebrat
,inevertouchedyou.So
dontyoudaretal
kil
laboutme, iam nott
heonewho
saidyoushoul
dbehavelikeabi t
charoundme.

Ij
usthunguponhi
m,t
ear
sfel
lof
fmyf
ace.How
couldhesayt hattome? ,knowingverywel lt
hathe
wast heonebehavi nglikeaper vertaroundme.I
wassohear tbroken,ievenbegant odoubtmyself.
Maybeidi dt histomyself,imeanihaveabi gbody
butihaveal waysbeenaf anofshor tsandmi ni
dresses.Wasir eal
lybehavinglikeabi t
charound
him??, isi
ghtedasi gotunderthecover sagain.I
j
ustdi dntfeelli
kedoinganyt hi
nganymor e.

☆Oupa☆

Myf i
rstdaywasntsobad, untilihadtomeetmy
bossMrLedwabawhohappenst obeMbal i
'
s
husband.Ifeltli
kehewoul djustseet hroughme,
eachtimewespokeif eltli
keapol ogi
singfor
nothi
ng.Hel ookslikesomeol dr i
chmaf iainasui t,
someoneyoucantmesswi t
h.Butiam busy
messingwi thhiswifejusttosecur et
hebag, iam
notsurewher eourt hi
ngwi l
lendupt o.Butt het i
me
i
tendsihavet omakesur ethatihadsavedal otof
money, iknowf orsurethaticantendt hingsnow.I f
shecoul
dhavethepowerofget
ti
ngmethis
posi
ti
on,t
henshesti
llhadt
hepowert
otakeitf
rom
me.

Iwasevengi
venanoffi
ce,butiwi
llst
il
lbehands
onatt
hegroundfloor
.Wherether
e'sti
rerepai
rand
maki
ng,soit
sreal
lyagoodjobandpayswel lt
oo.
I
nser
t16

Sinceiwasst
il
lgi
venachancetosett
lei
nmyof f
ice,
idecidedt
ocal
lmywoman.Butitrangunanswer
ed,
itri
edacoupl
eofti
mesunti
litwasanswered.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:babe

Me:hey,
areyouokay?
.
Her
:iam f
inebabe,
justaheadache.

Iknewthattherewasmoretothatt
hanshesays,
butidi
dntwantt opushi
t.Shemightbemi
ssingher
mom, i
tsreall
ynoteasyl
eavinghomeli
kethat
.

Me:babeiam her
eforyou,
youknowt
hatr
ight
?

Her
:iknowbabe,
thankyou.Nowr
elaxandgoback
t
owork.

Me:yesma'
am,
iloveyousomuch.

Her
:il
oveyoumor
e.

Ihungup,justt
henMbal iwal
kedi nlooki
ngso
smartandsexy.Rockingthi
sshor tandtightbl
ack
demindress,wi
thblackpencilheels.Thedresswas
tootight
, i
twasshowi ngof fherper f
ectcurvybody.
Sheset t
ledinfrontofme,andcr ossedherlegs.
Causinghershor tdr
esstomoveup, andreveal
ing
herrednumber .Shedidt hat,sheknewshewas
dri
vingmenut s.Iguessitwast hepuni shmentof
notseeingherf oroveramont h,butihadtoquickly
composemysel f
.Wewer einherhusband' s
company, ijustcouldn'
tri
skl osingmyj ob.

Me:whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eMbal
i?
,ar
eyout
ryi
ng
t
ogetmef i
red?

Mbali
:(smil
ed)r
elaxMrThabedi,iam j
usther
eto
checkonhowyouar eset
tli
ngi
n.Besidesmy
husbandleftwi
thhisguardsawhileago.

Me:st
il
l,wereal
lycantbeseent
oget
herandyou
knowthat.

Her
:okayf
ineigeti
t,anywaysial
socameher
eto
giveyouyouraccesscar
dtomyhot
elr
oom.6pm
sharp,dontkeepmewait
ing.

Sheslowlystoodupsmi li
ng,tookherpur seand
madeherwayoutswi ngingherf atass.Iwasl ef
t
l
ookingatthataccesscar d,
untiliwasi nteruptedby
mysister
'scall
.Iknewt hatihadt oprepar emysel f
fort
hisone,Matshidi
soi ssoloudandi r r
itati
ng.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:bi
gsi
s.

Her
:dontbi
gsisme,
whatisi
tthatiheart
hatyou
movedtoPr
etori
awi
tht
hatgi
rl
?

Me:whenyousayt
hatgi
rl
,youmeanmyf
utur
ewi
fe?
I
nser
t17
Her:Oupaiam war ningf orthelastti
me, st
opthat
nonesensethatyouar edoi ngplease.Youwant
mamat odieofhear tatt
ack? ,howcanyoul ett
hat
gi
rltomilkyoulikethat?.Toevendeci det omovein
wit
hhert oanothercity?
, haveyoul ostyourmind?
.

Me:sisirespectyouandiwanttokeepitthatway.
Dint
leisnotgoinganywhere,t
hesooneryouall
acceptthatt
hebet t
er.Haveagoodday.

Ihungup, thenwal kedoutofmyof fi

cetot he
groundf l
oor.Ifoundever yonebusywi t
ht hei
rwor
k,
someot herguywal kedtomeandi nt
roduced
himselfasmyassi stancebyt henameofThabo.He
tookuponhi mselfintroducingmet oeveryoneand
showingmear ound, hereallyhadagreatsenseof
humour .Ijustknewt hatwewer egoi
ngtowor kwel
l
toget
her.

Weworkedthroughoutt
hedayunt
il5pm,whi
ch
wasknockoffti
me.Aft
erpacki
ngmystuf
finmy
off
ice,ideci
dedtocallmymom.Shewasnot
tal
kingtomewhenil eft
,wel
lbecauseideci
dedt
o
moveher ewithDi
ntl
e.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:MmewaOupa(
Oupa'
smom)
.

Her:kekopaobuelennahaoseogut l
isedi
tse
ngwananawanehabona(pleaset
alkt
omeonceyou
haveret
urnedt
hatgir
ltoherhome)

Me:Mmekoparebuehle,watsebahorekamorata
Di
ntl
e.(
Mom pl
easel
etstal
k,youthatil
oveDi
ntl
e).
I
nser
t18

Her:hohl
ahli
lehoreoent
seqet
oyahao
ngwanaka.
(cl
earl
yyouhavemadeyourchoi
cemy
son).
Me:mom youknowthatil
oveyou,
pleaseaccept
Di
ntl
e.Becauseshemakesmehappy,pleasemom.

Her:i
fyouwantust
ogetal
ongmyson,
leavet
hat
gi
rlal
one.

Shehungup, andiwasleftlooki
ngatmyphone.I
reall
ydontknowwhymymom andsi sterhate
Dintl
et hi
smuch, t
heydontevenknowhert hat
much.Theyonl ymethertwi cebecauseiwasnot
l
ivinginmypar ent
syard,whenit urned20ihi r
eda
twor oom justt
ogetmyf r
eedom.iguesst heysee
herasagol ddi
ggersi
ncet heythi
nkshei smi l
king
me.

If
inal
lyt
ookmyt hi
ngsandwalkedt
omycar,theni
dr
oveofftoProt
eahotelwher
eiwil
lbemeet
ing
Mbali
.Ideci
dedtotextmywoman.
"
Mymeetingswi
lltakelonger,
sincei
tsmyar
ri
val
.
Don'
twai
tupmyl ove"senttobae.

15mi nuteslateriarri
vedatthehotelandwal ked
i
nside.Sinceihadt heaccesscar dididntseet he
useofwal ki
ngt other ecepti
onarea,iwentstraight
totheelevatorthattookmet otherightfl
oor.Theni
searchedforther oom number ,
andknockedont he
door.Justthenmyphoner ang,anditwasMbal i
.
I
nser
t19

*
phonecal
l*

Her
:comei
nandl
ockt
hedoorbehi
ndyou.

Thenshehungup.Idi dasiwast ol
dt henwalked
fur
theri
n, andiwasmetbyt henakedMbal ionthe
bed.Herlegsspreadwidel
y,busyplayingwithher
vi
brator.Damnshewasmaki ngmesohar
d,and
sheknewi t.shesmi
ledwhenshesawmylook,
then
i
ndicatedmet ocomecloser
.

Islowlywalkedt otheendoft hebedandqui ckly

tookoffmycl othes.Iwasl eftnaked, wit
hmyhar d
shaftbetweenmyl egs.I tbecamehermot i
vation,
becauseshet ossedasi dehervi br
atorandbegan
rubbingherselffasteronhercl i
t.Whilejakingher
hipsupanddown, that
sonet hingilikeaboutMbal i
.
Shei ssowi l
dandr eadyt otryanythingnew, wel li
cantsayt hesameaboutmywoman.Nott hatil ove
herless,butalit
tleener gyint hebedr oom woul dn't
kil
lanyoner i
ght?.Buttheniunder stoodt hatmaybe
herbodydoesntal l
owhert omovet hewayMbal i
moves, imeanMbal imovesl ikeabonel essper son.
Iwontlie,ienj
oysl eepingwi thher.

Shemademewat chhercum,andidecidedt
o
becamehertowel
.Iqui
ckl
ygotbetweenhert
highs,
asmylipsr
eachedhercooki
e.If
ir
stl
yusedmy
touguet ocleanherwel l,whil
et easinghersenset i
ve
parts.Thenif i
nallyt ookherswol lencl itbetween
myl ips.Iwat chedherbeaut ifulti
t sriseandf al
lwit
h
hergaspi ngbr eathsasir anmyt ouguei nslow
teasingmot ionsal onghercl i
t.Thent ugginghercli
t
oncemor ewi thmyl ips,herlegsspr eadsl ightl
yand
ipushedmyf ingeri nsideher.Hermoansand
trembl i
nginherl egs, wasobvi oust hatshewas
close.Iaddedabot herf i
ngerandbeganswi ft
ly
fuckingherwi thmyhandasmyt ougueandl i
ps
providedjustenoughsuct i
onandpr essureto
causi nghertor eleasei nmymout h.

Ididntwasteanytime,ij
ustmoveduponherbutas
al
waysshet urnedmeandgotont opofme.Damn
andi knewthatiwasinforaride,shesmi
ledand
usedherhandt omoveupanddownmyshaf t
.My
erecti
ongrewlargerandharder,
I
nser
t20

if
eltl
ikeiwasaboutt
obur
stwi
deopen.She
fi
nal l
ygr abbedar ubberundermypi l
low,andsl idit
onmyhar dander ectedshaf t.Sheusedherhandt o
sliphimi nsideher .onceshehadhi m deepi nside,
shebeganasl owr otati
onofherhi ps.Icoul dn't
helpbutgr oanl oudly,shehadmewher eshe
want edme.Sheknewhowt odome, somehowi ts
l
ikesheknewt hatiwasnotget t
ingt hatkindofsex
from mygi rl
fri
end.Shekeptont easingandt i
ckli
ng
myshaf t,andikeptonr eleasingdeepmoansl i
keit
wasmyf ir
stt i
me.I twasbeyondwhatieverf elt,
andwhenshei ncreasedhermovement sijustlostit.
Iquicklymovedherf rom ont opofmeandt urned
herar ound, asislammedi ntoherf rom theback.
Shecr i
edoutl oudandicont inuedf uckingherhar d
unt i
lihear dherscr eam outmyname.Thatwasj ust
mymot i
vationt ogivei ttohermor eandf aster,
causingherbodyt ot rembl eandsi nceiwascl ose
tooij ustgaveoutmyonedeept hrustandwebot h
came.

Secondslat
erisl
idoutofherslowly,
asiwalkedt
o
thebathr
oom anddiscar
dedthatrubbert
hathad
mysper ms.Thenicl
eanedmysel f
,tookaclean
towelandwalkedtoherandcleanedhertoo.Theni
ret
urnedtothebathr
oom wit
hi t
,andfinal
lywal
ked
backtoherandlayednextt
oher .

Iwasnotsur ei
fitwasthesexorwhat,butiwas
real
lywarminguptoher.Herpresencewastaki
ng
over,andiwasnotrushi
ngtogobackhome.

Her:donttel
lmethatyout
hinki
ngaboutthatf
atgi
rl
ofyours,j
ustaf
tergi
vingi
ttomethatgood.

Me:(
laughed)act
ual
lyiam t
hinki
ngabouthowgr
eat
youwere.

Iwasnotl yi
ng,Mbaliknewhowt ogiveittoaman.
WithDintl
eijustl
ovehowt i
ghtsheis,
butmovi ng
orshakingwiseeishitsnotherthi
ng.Mbaliknows
howtomakemer eachcl oud9andback, eishidont
evenknowwhyiam compar i
ngthem ri
ghtnow
becausemyhear
tbel
ongst
oDi
ntl
e.

Her
:(
smiled)good,becausemyhusbandi
sgoi
ngt
o
abusi
nesstri
pthisWednesday.
I
nser
t21

Soiwantyoual
ltomysel
f.

Me:
(smil
ed)youmeanheisl
eavi
ngadayaf
ter
t
omorrow?,f
orhowlong?

Her:
(smi
led)amonth.I
magi
nehowmuchf
unwe
ar
egoingtohave.

Me:ei
shbutmygirl
fr
iendi
sher
e,iwontbeabl
eto
doanysl
eepover
s.

Her
:ist
il
ldontunder
standwhyyoubr
oughther
her
e,j
ustmakeaplanOupabecauseiwantyoual
l
tomysel
ffor2weeks.

Isi
ght
ed,
justt
henmyphoner
angandi
twasDi
ntl
e.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:awbabyar
eyoust
il
linyourmeet
ingst
hist
ime?

Me:umhyesmyl
ove,
justgi
veme30mi
nut
esandi
wi
llbehome.

Ihungupbef
oreshecoul
drespond,andwheni
l
ookedbackatMbal
ishesmirked.

Her
:whydi
dyoul
iet
othepoorgi
rl
?

Me:whatdoyoumean?
Her
:youar
enotgoi
nganywher
ebabe,
notaf
ter
howgoodyoumademefeel
.

Shedidntevenletmerespond,shet ookmyphone
andswitcheditoff
.Thenplaceditont hesi
de
drawer,j
ustwheniwasaboutt ost ophershej
ust
cl
imbedont opofmeandsl i
dmyshaf ti
nherwet
cooki
e.Sheknewt hatshehadt akenmeandiwas
defi
nit
elynotgoingtost
opher .

Ij
ustcouldn'
tunderstandhowOupa' smeet i
ngs
coul
dbehel dthi
slate,imeani t
safter8pm now.I
guessishouldgivehimthat30mi nutest oretur
n
backandexplainhimself.Si
nceiwasdonecooki ng
andbathing,
idecidedtouset heti
met ogoogl e
aboutcoll
egesaroundher esi
nceicoul dn'tdoit
earl
ier
.Outofthem allil
ikedII
E'sVarsi
tyCol l
ege-
Pret
oria
Col
lege,
theaddressi
s116Clear
waterRoadCNR.
Cl
earwaterRoad&,Gl
enwoodRd,LynnwoodGlen.I
st
il
lhavetoaskOupaaboutt
hatlocat
iont
hough,
Goodt hi
ngisthatr
egist
rat
ionwasonlycl osingin
twodayst i
me.soihadachancet odoever ything
tomorrow.Ial
solovedthefactt
hatitwasahi gher
cert
if
icat
einEventmanagement ,meaningt he
durat
ionisonly1year.I
tsgoodthatit
sf ul
ltime,so
iwil
lhavetotakemymi ndandhearttoit.

10pm Oupawassti
llnothome,it
ri
edcal
li
nghi
m
buti
ttookmestr
aighttovoi
cemai
I
nser
t22

Iwasgett
ingworri
ednow, icoul
dn'
tsleepnot
knowingwherehewas.Itookablanketandsett
led
onthecouchwhilegoingt
hroughmyWhat sApp.I
deci
dedtotextKenei
lwesinceshewasonline.
*
What
sAppt
ext
s*

Her
:amar
ri
edwomanatt
hishouronwht
saap?
Me:l
oliwi
shiknewwher
emyhusbandwas.

Her
:yoh,
whatdoyoumeannow?

Me:st
il
lnotbackf
rom wor
k.

Her
:di
dheexpl
ainwhy?

Me:l
atemeet
ings,
sincei
twashi
sar
ri
val
.

Her
:okay,
nocomment
.

Me:ohcomeonnow,
itmi
ghtact
ual
lybewor
kyou
know?

Her
:li
keisaidbabe,nocomment.Iwi
llcal
lyou
t
omorrow,goodnight.
(ki
sses)
.
Isight
edandloggedout
.Ir
eall
ydidntwanttot
hink
theworst
,iam goi
ngtobeposi
tivemindedunt
ilhe
ret
urnshome.
Ithi
nkidosedoffonthecouchandiwaswokenby
aknockont hedoor
,iquickl
ysatup.Wheni
checkedtheti
meitwas4am, whenisur
veyedour
fl
atireal
isedt
hatheactuall
ydidntsl
eephome.

Islowlywalkedtothedoorandunl ockedit,wheni
openedt hedoortherehewasl ookinglikehewas
drinki
ngorsomet hing.Iwasntr eallysure,soI
si
lentl
ywentbackt othatcouchandgotundert hat
blanketagai
n.Thet vwasst il
lon, soijust
concentrat
edoni t
.Iwassohur tandpi ssed,buti
gavehim anemot ionlessface.Heset t
lednextto
me.

Him:babyiam sosor
ry,
ididntwantt
owakeyouup
i
nthemi ddl
eoftheni
ght.Aft
erourmeet
ings,some
guysatworktookmetosomepubt ocel
ebratemy
ar
ri
val
.Iguess2beer
sgott
o12,
iam sosor
rybaby.
Pl
easefor
giveme.

Asmuchasiwasmad, t
herewasnot hi
ngicoulddo
aboutit
.Ikindofunder stoodbecauseidecl i
ned
hi
mf rom goingtopar tyonthedayofourar r
ival
,i
guesshisfriendsgottohi m again.Butiwasnt
goi
ngt oshowhi mt hatiunder st
andr ealqui
ck,i
hadtolookmadj ustforcontrol.

Me:
mmmh.

Hegotmor eclosert
ome, andhesmell
edafr
esh
shower.Iguesshealreadyshower
edsohewil
lonl
y
changeandgot owork,
I
nser
t23

butihadt
otel
lhi
m aboutmyf
indi
ngsqui
ckl
y.
Hi
m:myl oveiknowimessedup, andiam wil
li
ng
t
otakeanypunishmentyouwillgi
veme.Justnot
t
hesil
enttr
eatment,
itski
ll
ingme.

Me:ifoundacollege,
iam goi
ngtoneedR3000
upfr
ontforr
esgistr
ati
on.Andit
sgoi
ngt obeR1200
permonth,f
orthedurati
onofayear.I
tsaful
l-
ti
me.

Him:wowiguessyouhavereal
lydoneyour
resear
ch,butcanwepl
easei
ronuptheprobl
em at
handfir
st?

Me:youhavesaidyourpi
eceandiheardyou.Or
maybeiam expect
edtoresear
chaboutitt
oo?

Him:babycomeon, dontbeli
kethat
.Iwantusto
bereal
lygood,becauseadayaftert
omorr
owiam
expect
edtoleaveformyfir
sttr
iptoPor
tEli
zabet
h.
Me:what
?,youar
eleavi
ngf
orhowl
ong?

Him:t
woweeksbabe, sopl
easeworkwit
hmeher
e.
Iwanttogoknowi
ngthatil
eftahappywif
eat
home,pleasemyt
hickmadam.

Yoht herewasnowayt haticoul

dhavehel dmysel f
from blushing.Ij
usthatehoweasi l
yhecangett o
meandwi n.Hesmi l
edandr eachedformyl ips,
i
j
ustrespondedandsnackedmyar msar oundhis
neck.Pul l
inghim cl
osert ome,andmaybehavea
roundont hisverycouch.Butmi nuteslaterhe
pull
edoutofmyar ms,wowsomuchf orthinki
ngi
couldhavear oundrighthere.

Him:(
smir
ked)dontlooksodisappoi
ntedmyl ove,
youknowiwouldlovetoburymyselfinsi
deyou
ri
ghtnow.Butwehavei mport
antthi
ngstodiscuss
befor
eiheadtowork,li
keisaidweonlyhavet oday
andtomorr
ow.
Me:okayf
inebabe,
let
stal
k.

Hi
m:good,iam thinki
ngofmakingtheful
lpayment
f
orthewholeyear.Regar
dingyourcour
seofcause.

Me:(
eyesgrewwi
der)what
?,nobabyareyousur
e?.
Imeanther
eisnorushyouknow?,andwher
ewil
l
yougett
hatwhol
epayment?.

Hi
m:(smil
ed)iam yourman,
letmepr
ovi
def
oryou
mylove.

Me:ohmylove,
ireal
lydontwantyout
ofeel
pr
essur
ed.

Him:howaboutyoul
etmewor
ryaboutal
lthat
,and
youjustpr
omi
semeonethi
ng.
Me:okay.
..
,whi
chi
s?
I
nser
t24

Hi
m:t
hatyouwi
lldoyourbestandpass.

Me:wowbaby,ir
eal
lydontknowwhatt
osay.I
r
eall
ycantbet
hisbl
essed.

Him:iam theblessedoneheremyl ove,

youar ethe
bestieverhad.Andiwanttoseeyouget ti
ngwher e
youalwayswant edtobe,j
ustseeitasmei nvesti
ng
i
nyourdr eams.Whenyouar eindependent,iknow
thatourchil
drenwontstar
veevenwheniam gone.

Lor
dithankyouf ort
hismaninfrontofme, how
canhebesoper f
ectforme.Iguessheisdef i
nit
ely
mysoulmate,t
heonewhowaschosenf orme.I
j
umpedonhi m andwekissedagain,minuteslat
er
webot hwal
kedtoshowert
oget her.Iact
ual
ly
for
cedhi mt
oshowerwithme, sincehehad
showeredwherehecamefrom.wel l
wejusthadan
i
nnocentonebecausehest
illhadt odropmeatthat
col
lege,sot
imewasnotonoursi de.

☆Oupa☆

Ihat
edoingthatt
oDintl
e,butiguessmybi t
chness
i
swhatprovi
desforus.IdecidedtotextMbaliwhi
le
Dint
lewasbusymakingbreakfastf
orus.

"
IneedR20000ASAP"sentt
oMbal
i.

"f
orwhatnowbecauseihavesentyouanadvance
l
astweektolastyouunti
lyougetpayedmont
h
end?
"Recievedfrom Mbal
i.

"
Ireal
l
ydonthavet
oexpl
ainmysel
fespeci
all
yaf
ter
t
hetimeigothome, andthedaysiwil
lbespending
wit
hyou.Doihavetospel li
toutt
oyouthatineed
t
obr i
bemygirl
fr
iend?"SenttoMbali
.

"
Okayf
ineigeti
t"r
eci
evedf
rom Mbal
i.

Ismi l
edwi t
hmyphone, thenplacedi tont hetable
sincemywomanwasser vingme.Weat ewhile
talki
ngmor eaboutmyf akewor ktri
p, whil
ewewer e
atitmyphonei ndicatedthatihadat ext.Iunl
ocked
myphoneandif oundt hatMbal ihassentmeR25
000i nmyaccount ,it
extedherat hankyout ext.
Thenii mmedi atel
yt r
ansf er
redR20000t oDintle'
s
account.Iknowsheonl yneedsR14700t opayup
herwhol eyearschoolf ees, soshemustkeept heof
i
tf orhersel
f.sinceitsCapi t
ectoCapi tecitrefl
ected
fastinheraccount .Isawhercheckherphone, and
sheal mostchokedonherf ood.
I
nser
t25
Her
:nonobabe,
ithi
nkyoumadeami
stake.

Me:i fyouar et
alki
ngaboutthemoneyyouj ust
recieved,thenther
eisnomi stake.Youwil
lbe
attendingeverydaylove,
soi am sureyouwillneed
mor eclothesandalotmor ethings.Youwi
llletme
knowi fit
snotenough.

Her
:babyno,
wher
edi
dyougetal
lthi
scash?

Me:willitmakeyoufeelbet
teri
fisayi
twasan
advancef r
om work,
sinceihadtobepayedf
ort
he
tr
ipiwillbetaki
ng?

Her:nobabeitdoesntmakemefeelbett
er,
itmakes
mef eelwor
se.Becauseyouar
eactuall
ygoingt
o
workhardtothattr
ip,
fort
hemoneyyouwonteven
spend.
It
ookherhandandki
ssedi
t.

Me:andt hisiswhyif el
linl
ovewithyou,youareso
consi
deredandyoul ovemef orme.Notf orwhati
canprovide,iam sayingitagai
nthatyoushouldlet
mewor ryaboutalltheproblemsmyl ove.Justrel
ax
andletmel oveyou.

Her
:(bl
ushed)wowokaybabe,
ithi
nkweshoul
dget
goi
ngnow.

Sheclearedthepl
atesandcupswewereusi
ng,
thenshetookherdocumentsandbag.wewalked
out,l
ockedthefl
at,
anddroveofft
ohernewfound
coll
ege.
I
nser
t26

☆Mr
sMokwena☆
Themi stakeievermadewast ot hinkt hatmy
daughtercannotbewi serthanme, sinceiam ol der
thanher .Butshehasbeenmyl ightal lalongandi
didntseeal lt
hat ,
iwasbl i
ndedbyt hef akelovei
wasr ecievi
ngf rom Simon.Ineverbel i
evedt hatit
wasf akeloveunt ilmydaught erleft,
itslikehe
turnedintosomeoneidi dntknow.Ihaven' teatenor
bathed,sinceDi ntl
eleft
.Heevent ookmyphone, i
cantevencal lforhelp.

Thepr oblem i
st hatheknowst hatihavenoonebut
him andDi nt
le.Nowihavepushedmydaught erfar
awayf rom home, iwishicoul djustcallherand
apologiseforchoosingamanoverher .Sheisthe
onlyper sonwhohasl ovedmeuncondi ti
onall
yin
thisevilworl
d,butiwasj ustdeterminedtosave
thisfakemar ri
age.Iam si l
entl
ycr yi
ngont hefloor
sinceihavejustpeedonmysel f,becauseifail
edt o
reacht hebathroom.

Ij
ustcr
iedunt
ilheopent
hedoorandwal
kedi
n.I
quickl
ywi pedmyt ear
saway, andlookedathi m.He
l
ookedsodi sgustedbymypr esence,ijustcouldn'
t
understandwhyhehadt opretendhel ovedmeal l
thoseyears.Iguessheneverdi d,Dint
lewaswhat
kepthim closertome.If ai
ledmydaught erandi
thi
nkiam goi ngtodi ebeforeicouldevenapol ogise
toher.

Si
mon:cl
eanyour
sel
fupf
ast
,ihaveaguestandi
wantt
ousemybed.

Me:whatar
eyoutalki
ngaboutnow?,iam weakand
hungr
ySimon.Iwontbeabl
etocleanupthisroom.

Heclickedhistougue,thenhelpedmeupand
pushedmei nthebat htubwithmycl otheson.Then
fi
ll
editupwi t
hhotwat er ,
whi
leiwasi nsidesi
tt
ing
uncomf or
tabl
y.Ijustcriedsi
nceiwasi nsomuch
pain,
andhedi dntlooklikehecared
I
nser
t27
Thepr obl
em i
sthatwhenyouareinthebathr
oom
youcanseewhati shappeni
nginthebedroom.So
hewasbusyr emovingthebeddi
ngsiwasusing,
replaci
ngthem wi
ththenewone'
s.Thencameand
tossedtheone'
siwasusingonmyf aceandwalked
off.
WOW, ihavebeenmorethanafoolt
oevert
hink
t
hatiwasactual
lyl
ovedbythi
sman.

10mi nuteslaterihear dhimlaughingwi t

hsomeone
from theki
tchen, iheardfootstepscomi ngtothe
bedroom.thenisawt hem ki
ssingandt ouchi
ngon
thesamebedisl eepon.hewasmaki ngoutwi t
h
thesamenur sethatusedt odroppi l
lsf
orme, atthis
pointhemanagedt oripmyhear tapart
.Onceagai n,
mydaught erwasr ightthatt
henur sewashi s
mi st
ress.
Iwassomuchinpain,butitr
iedtomoveoutofthat
batht
ubandkeptonfail
ing.Unti
lifel
lfl
atont
he
fl
oor,
causi
ngmynoset obleed.Iscreamedout
l
oudf orhisattenti
onbecausehewasaboutt o
pushedhi shardshaftinthatnurse.Asnakedashe
was,hef uri
ouslywalkedtomeandbeganki cki
ng
meal lovermyf ace.Whil
et henursejustlayedon
thebedwat chingus,hekickedmehar derand
harderwithbloodallovermyf ace.Iwassl owly
runningoutofbr eat
h,Untili
twaslightsout.

Amont hl at
er,iwasast udentatI IEVar si
ty-
Coll
ege.
Thingswer egoingsowel lforme, ievenmade
fri
endsinmycl ass.Oupawasal sobackf r
om his2
weekstrip,andwer esomuchi nlove.Althoughhe
waswor kingver yhardforus, andhewoul dcome
backlateorthenextmor ning.Iunder st
oodal lt
hat
becausehewascover i
ngf orthemoneyhegaveme
forschool,onceagainiwasnotr egrett
ingwhyi
cameher e.

Iwasbusypreparingforschool
,si
nceOupahad
al
readygonetowor k.Mycookiewasichingand
hadabadsmel l
,thelasttwodaysifel
tthesame
probl
em butionl
yhadt hefi
shysmell
.Soithought
itwasbecauseihadalotoffi
shhakeatschool
,
becauseiusual
lyhavethatfi
shysmellwhenipeei
f
ieatfi
shhake.
I
nser
t28

Butthi
smor ningitwastoomucht ohandle,ir
anto
thebathroom topee.Yohmyurinewasbur ningme,
iwasinser i
ouspainandiknewt hatihadtoseea
doctor
.Butihadcl asses,
soithadt obeaft
ermy
lastcl
ass.

If i
nall
ywi pedmyselfcl
ean, t
henwal kedtot he
bedr oom andwor emybl ueboyfri
endj eanandmy
blackbodysui t
.Theniwor emybl acknewai rfor
ce,i
fixedmyf aceandbrushedmyst r
aightup.If i
nal
ly
tookmybagandwal kedout ,
ilockedthef l
atthen
wai t
edf ormyr i
de.Idi
dntevenf eelli
keeating
anyt hi
ng,iwasmor ewor ri
edaboutwhatwas
happeni ngt ome.Myr i
decamewhi chwasamaxi
taxithatwaspayedbyOupa, mybabywasdoi ng
everyt
hingi
nhispowert
omakesur
ethatiwaswel
l
takencareof
f.

15mi nut
eslateriar r
ivedatschool
,andwent
st
raightt
oclass.If oundAmandaandTshol o
al
readyonmydesk, ismil
edandsatbetweenthem.
Theyarequitecr azyandr ef
reshi
ngsoul
s,butaft
er
myKenei l
weof cause.

Amanda:iam sogoi
ngt
ogi
vei
ttohi
m,andonf
ull
for
ce.

Me:
(l
aughed)andt
hen?

Isai
dlooki
ngatTshol
o,andshej
ustbur
stedout
wit
hlaught
er.

Tshol
o:wel
lyourf
ri
endherewasf l
ir
ti
ngwi
thour
fi
nancemanagementl
ect
urelastni
ght.
Weal lbust
edoutwi t
hlaughter,
becauset hat
l
ectureisactual
lyold.Justthenourf i
rstclass
began,andtheywentt othei
rdesks.Whi l
ewewer e
i
nclassmyphonekeptonvi brati
ng,whenichecked
i
twasKenei lwe.Ijusttosseditbackinmybag
becauseicouldn'trespondtoitatthatmoment .
Lunchti
meweal lagr
eedtoeatatchi
ckenli
cken,
Tshol
oandAmandawentt oorderforus.it
ookmy
phoneanddi
aledKeneil
we.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:Deewher
ear
eyou?

Me:heybabe,
iam goodthankyou.Ohi
tsact
ual
ly
l
unchti
me,iam atchi
ckenli
cken.

Her
:okayiam ser
iousDee,
ineedyout
oseatdown
f
orthi
sone.
Me:what
swr
ongnow?
,di
dsomet
hinghappen?

Her
:haveyousatdown?

Me:yes,
outwi
thi
tal
ready.

Her
:uhm.
..
it
saboutyourmom.Shepassedon.
I
nser
t29

Ifel
tli
ketherewasal otofairaroundme, anditwas
gett
inginmyear s.Bl ocki
ngmef rom hear i
ngwhat
shewasact uallysayi ngaf t
erthat,icouldhearthat
shewasst il
ltalki
ngbutij ustcouldn'tmakeout
whatshewassayi ng.Mymom cantbegonenow,
yesshewassi ckbutit hi
nkitistoosoon.Ionl y
l
ookedupwhenTshol ograbbedt hephonef rom me,
andcontinuedt alking.Ibecameast atue,Amanda
wasalreadyhandi ngmeabot t
leofwat er.Thats
onlythenireali
sedthattearswerefall
ingoffmy
face.Idr
ankt hewater,unti
licoul
dn'tanymore.I
j
ustwant edtogot hefl
at,soTsholowentt ochange
ourfoodandmakei tatakeaway.

Amanda:come, wearetakingyoutoyourfl
at.My
mini
steroftransporti
salreadyonhiswayher e,
we
ar
eact ual
lynotgoingtotakenof orananswer.

Me:butyouwi
llmi
sst
hoset
wol
astcl
asses.

Tshol
o:andiam surewewontf
ailbecauseoft
hem,
sowearegoingwithyou.

Ihadnoener gytoarguewit
ht hem.Wef inal
lygotin
"Amanda'sri
de",idi
dntevenhavet i
met olaugh
aboutthedri
ver.Becausehewasr eall
yold,ijust
couldn'
tunderst
andwhyAmandal i
kedplayingwit
h
oldermen.Iguessthatisatopicforanotherday.
10mi
nut
esl
aterwewer
edr
oppedatmyf
lat
,we
usedt hestair
stheniunlockedthef l
at.Iwentt
o
sett
leont hecouch,astheybot hwalkedtothe
ki
tchent odishup.Minuteslatertheycameback
wit
hmypl ateoffoodandj ui
ce,thensettl
eddown
wit
ht heirfoodtoo.

Tshol
o:uhm.
..
ther
e'smor
etowhatyouwer
etol
d.

Me:whatdoyoumean?

Tshol
o:shewasevenbur
ied.

Me:what
?,Si
monisful
lofnonesenseshame.How
canhebesohear
tl
ess.

Amanda:uhm.
..
Simon?

Me:yeah,
myst
epf
ather
.
Tshol
o:oh,sowhatar
eyougoingtodo?
.Imean
howcouldheburyherwi
thoutyou?

Me:i
tsalongst
ory,weact
ual
lydontgetal
ong.Buti
di
dntt
hinkhewouldbesoheart
less.

Iwassopi
ssedandhur
t,ij
ustwant
edt
ogohome.
Tshol
oandAmandakeptmecompanyfor2hour
s,
thent
heyl
eft
.
I
nser
t30

Ideci
dedt
ocal
lOupa.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:l
oveofmyl
if
e.

Hear
inghi
svoi
cemademecr
yal
loveragai
n,i
coul
dn'
tevensayawor
d.

Hi
m:babeno,
what
'swr
ong?
.What
sgoi
ngon?

Me:sheisgone,
andhedi
dntevent
ellme.Heeven
bur
iedherwit
houtme.

Him:babypl
easecal
m down,
iwi
llaskt
oleave
earl
yne.Wherear
eyounow?

Me:t
hef
lat
.

Hi
m:good,
sitback.Iwi
llbet
her
einnot
ime,
okay?

Me:okay.

Hehungup,t
heniclear
edt
heplateswewer eusi
ng.
Ij
ustcoul
dn'
tsi
tbackanddonothing.Iwant
edto
keepmyselfbusy,
thewhol
ethi
ngwasfr
ustr
ati
ng
me.Wheniwasdonewashi ngt
hedi
shesidi
aled
Kenei
lwe.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:babear
eyouokay?

Me:iwi
llbefi
nebabe,
sowher
edi
dyougetal
lthat
i
nfor
mation?

Her:f
rom Pal
esa,shewasatt
endi
ngapar
tyl
ast
weekatyourzone.Sothat
showshehear
dthe
news.

Me:wow,
Simoni
ssomet
hingel
seshame.

Her:t
ellmeabouti
thl
e,Pal
esawassopi
ssed
shame.Howcanhebesoevi l
mara?
Me:mxm ihat
ehim mor
eri
ghtnow.iam j
ust
wai
ti
ngforOupa,
ithi
nkiwi
llbecominghome
t
omorrow.

Her
:oh,
whataboutyourcl
asses?

Me:ihavepeopl
ewhowi
llhel
pmecat
chupwheni
comeback.

Her
:gr
eat
,becauseial
sowantt
oseeyou.

Me:iwi
llcal
lyouonceiam sur
e.

Her
:coolt
hen,
hangi
nther
emyf
ri
end.Il
oveyou.

Me:t
hanksbabe,
iloveyoumor
e.
Ihungup.I twasnow4pm andiwasal ready
thinkingofpr epari
ngsupper .JustthenOupa
wal kedincar ryi
ngKf ctakeaways, heplacedthem
ont hetablet henattackedmewi tht hewarmesthug
ever .If
eltsosaf einhisarms, if
eltpeaceandl ove.
Ijustknewt hatihadf oundahomei nhim, no
mat terhowhar dli
fecanbe.Butiknowheal ways
gotme.
Minut
esl
aterwebroket
hehug,t
henhel
edmet
o
t
hecouchandplacedmeonhisl
ap.

Hi
m:t
alkt
omemyl
ove.

Me:mymom isgoneandshewasal
readybur
ied
wi
thoutme.

Hi
m:i sheoutofhi
smindorsomething?,
that
syour
bi
ologicalmot
herwear
etal
kingabout.
I
nser
t31
Me:wel
lshewasmarr
iedt
ohim,sohehasevery
r
ight
.Ij
ustwantt
oseewhereshewasbur
ied.

Hi
m:of
cause,
whendoyouwantt
oleave?

Me:iwasthi
nki
ngofgoingtomorr
ow,iam sur
ei
wontmissal
otatschoolsi
ncei
tsWednesdaytoday.

Him:ohokay,butidontthinkiwil
lbeabl et
oleave
wit
hyout omorr
ow.Howaboutwel eaveonfri
day
aft
erknocki
ngoff,wewi l
lsleepatmypl acewhen
wegetthatsi
de.Saturdaymor ni
ngwecangoand
seeSimon.

Me:soundsli
keapl
an,
iguessiwontmi
ssany
cl
assesaft
erall
.

Hi
m:yesbabe.
Hebegankissingmeslowl
y,iwasj ustnot
comfort
abl
e.Iwasafrai
dtotellhi
m aboutwhathas
beenhappeni
ngt omelat
ely,
mxm ievenf orgott
o
gotothedoctor.
Ij
ustbr
oket
heki
ssandl
ookedathi
m.

Me:uhm.
..
babeiam notf
eel
i
ngsowel
l
.

Him:oh,understandbabe.Dontworrywewontdo
anyt
hing,unt
ilyouarefull
yyoursel
f.

Me:t
hankyousomuchbabe.

Wecuddledont
hecouch,ashewentonandon
abouthi
sti
ri
ngwor
k.Lateronweate,
bat
hedand
sl
ept.
Thenextmorning,hewokeupf ir
stasalwaysand
wenttowork.Ipreparedmyself
,thenworemyblack
maxidresswit
hbl acksandal
s.Didmyfaceand
brushedmyst rai
ghtup,itookmybagandwal ked
tothekitchen.Imadeacer ealwit
hblackcoff
ee,i
wasst il
lfeeli
ngveryit
chydownt her
eandiknew
forsurethatihadt oseeadoct ortoday.Af
ter
eatingiwal kedoutandlockedt hedoor,mymaxi
taxihadnotar ri
vedyet.Soiusedt heti
met ocall
Keneilwe.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:mor
ningbabe.

Her
:mor
ningl
ove,
howar
eyouf
eel
ingt
oday?

Me:okayiguess,
wellithi
nkiwi
llonl
yseeyouon
Sat
urday.Oupacantmisswork.

Her
:that
sunderst
andabl
ebabe,
iwi
llseeyou
Sat
urdaythen.
Ihungup, andmyrideshowedup.Igotin,theni
t
tookmet oschool
.15mi nut
eslateriar
ri
ved,and
walkedstrai
ghtt
oclass.AmandaandTshol owere
surpri
sedtoseeme, butwedidntgetachanceto
converseabouti
t.
I
nser
t32

Luncht ime,iquicklymademywayoutofschool
alone.Iwasnotcomf ortabletell
inganyoneabout
mypr oblem, if
inal
lyr eachedt hesur geryt hatwas
notsof arfr
om myschool .Myphonekepton
vibrati
ngandi twasAmanda, iguesst heywer e
l
ooki ngf orme.If i
nallywal kedi nandwal kedt othe
receptionist,
shesmi l
edbef oreicoul dr eachher
desk.Sheopenedaf il
ef orme, t
henipayed.She
showedmewher etoj oint hequeue, sincet here
wer etwopeopl ebefor eme.45mi nut eslateritwas
myt urn,andiknewt hatiwasgoi ngt obel atefor
class.Iwal kedinside, andiwasmetbyt hisver y
handsomedoct oraroundhi sdesk.Hesmi led,
showi ngof fhisperfectCol gateteeth, yeerrhewas
fl
ames.Iwasntsur ei fhewasbl ackorcol oured.He
wasayel l
owbone, withawel lcleanfacethathad
nopi mple.Browneyesandt hi ckeyebr ows.Hewas
sit
ti
ngdown, butijustcouldn'tmi sshowbuf fyhe
was.Hemi ghtbeathi searlyt hi
rti
es,total
lyoutof
myl eague.Iwasj uststandingt hereli
keawi tch
thatjustgotcaughtear l
yint hemor ni
ng.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)ma'
am pl
easet
akeaseat
.

Me:oh,
iam sor
ryaboutt
hat
.

Hechuckled,asitookaseat .I
twascl earthatiwas
takenbythisdoctor'
sbeaut y,andhesawi t
.Imean
whowoul dn't
,isuregir
lsthrowt hemselvesathim
allt
hetime.Iti
ssor arefi
ndi ngaguywhoi sas
educatedandhasper fectfeatures.Notjust
educated,butadoctornogal .

Hi
m:andhowcanihel
pyout
odayma'
am?
Me:uhm.
..
ihavet
hisvagi
nali
tchi
ngandi
tsver
y
i
rr
it
ati
ng.

Hi
m:whendi
ditst
art
?

Me:i
tsbeendaysnow,
iam notsur
eaboutt
heexat
t
imeitbegan.

Hi
m:ar
eyouandyourpar
tnerusi
ngacondom?

Me:uhm.
..
no.

Him:ohisee.Vaginalit
chingisanuncomf ortabl
e
andsomet i
mespai nf
ulsympt om t
hatof tenoccurs
duetoir
ri
tati
ngsubstances, i
nfect
ions,or
menopause.Itmayal sooccurasar esultofcer t
ain
skindi
sordersorsexuall
ytransmitt
eddi seases
(STDs)
.
I
nser
t33
Inrar
ecases,
vaginali
tchi
ngmi
ghtdevel
opduet
o
str
essorvul
varcancer.

Me:di
dyouj
ustment
ionSTD'
s?

Him:yes,butworrynot.Iam goingtodeter
minet
he
causeofyourvaginalit
chingt hr
oughan
examinati
onandt est
ing.Iwillal
sobeableto
recommendappr opri
atetreatmentsfort
his
uncomfortabl
esympt om.Pl easetakeof
fyour
underwearandlayont hatbed.

Ididasiwast old,i
wassoner vous.Ijusthoped
thati
twassomet hi
ngmi nor,
notallthescar ythi
ngs
hement i
oned.Hewor ehisgl
oves, andwal ked
betweenmyt highs.Ifel
thistwof i
ngersinmy
cookie,
thenpulledthem outandsmel l
edthem.He
walkedaway,thencamebackandf i
nali
sedhis
test
s.Hef i
nal
lyaskedmet oclimbof f,
Icli
mbedof f
thebedandworemyunderwear
.theniset
tl
ed
downsincehewassi
tt
ingdowntoo.

Him:unf
ort
unat
elyi
tsBacter
ialSTD'
s.Bacter
ial
STD'
sincl
udechl
amydia,gonorr
hea,andsyphil
is.

Me:what
?,i
sitcur
abl
e?

Him:canbecur edwi t
hant i
bioticsiftreatment
beginsear l
yenough.Soyoust il
lhavet ime,
meani ngyouwi llbefineaft
erusi ngt heant i
biot
ics.
Makesur eyoust ayawayf r
om unpr otectedsex
untilyouaredonewi t
hyourt reatment ,alsono
alcohol.Fri
endlyadvice,t
ryusi ngpr otectionfor
yourownsaf et
y.Iknowi tshar d,especiallywhen
youar ecommi ttedtoyourpar tner.Butwer eall
y
dontwal karoundwi thourpar tners,youknow?

Me:yes,
thankyousomuchdoc.
Him:noprobl
em, ihavewr i
tt
enever
ythi
ngdownfor
you.Makesureyouuseever ythi
ngasdir
ect
ed.one
morethi
ng,whichcontracepti
vesar
eyouusing?

Me:oh,
itsal
oop.

Him:okcool,
idi
dntwantyouranti
biot
icst
ocl
ashi
n
caseyouareonpil
l.Anywayshaveagoodday
ma'am.

Ithankedhim,andt ookmyant i
biot
icsasit ossed
them inmybag.Theniwal kedout ,
yohij ust
couldn'tst
opthinki
ngaboutt hedoct or'
sadvice.I
t
placedmei ndeept houghts,andijustdidntfeell
ike
goingbackt oschool.Idecidedtowal ktomyf lat
,it
wasgoi ngtobeal ongone.
I
nser
t34

Butiguessineededthatwal
k,itr
ustOupaandi
j
ustcouldn'
timaginehi
m cheat
ingonme.There
hadtobeanexpl
anati
onforal
lthosetest
s,Oupa
worksver
yhardf
orthebothofus.Ij
ustcouldn'
t
bri
ngmyselft
oaccusehi
m ofcheati
ngbasedon
thoset
est
s.

Whil
eiwaswalkingmyphonevi
brat
ed,andi
twas
st
il
lAmanda.Ideci
dedt
oansweritt
histi
me.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:ohf
inal
ly,
areyouokay?

Me:iam f
inebabe,
ijustwontbeat
tendi
ngourl
ast
cl
asses.

Amanda:it
sokaybabe,wegotyoucover
ed.Doyou
wantustocomebyaftert
heclasses?

Me:nobabe,
butiappreciateyouref
for
ts.Iguessi
st
il
lwantt
odigestever
ythingonmyown.
Amanda:tot
all
yunder
standabl
emyl
ove,
iwi
ll
checkupyouagai
nlater
.Okay?

Me:t
hanksl
ove.

Ihungup,anddeci
dedtograbanicecr
eam at
steer
s.Theniwal
kedtothefl
at.
25mi nutesl ateriarri
ved,iunl ockedandl ockedthe
dooragai n.Iwal kedt othekitchent ogetsome
water,thent ookt hoseant i
biotics.Wheniwasdone
ij
usttossedmysel font hecouch, t
hinki
ngaboutmy
sonotper fectl i
fe.Istil
lneededmymot her'
slove
andsuppor tinahugewaypossi ble.Herbeinggone,
hurt
smesobad.Il i
vedallmyl if
eseekingherlove
andpr otecti
on, butnevergotany.Ij ustwishicould
haveknownwhysheneverchoseme.

Iwaswokenbyaknockont hedoor
,iqui
cklysatup
andreal
isedt
hatihavebeensl
eepi
ngforhours.I
t
wasevendarkout
side,iqui
ckl
ymademywayt o
thedoorandi
twasmyman.Iwentbackt othe
couchandhesett
lednexttomelooki
ngal
lworri
ed.

Him:babeiam gett
ingwor
ri
edaboutyounow,dont
youthi
nkyoushouldgoseeadoctororsomet
hing.
Imeanyoulooksick.

Me:actual
lyiwasnappingafterdr
inki
ngsome
headachepil
ls,
ireal
lydontneedadoctor
.Iwi
llbe
fi
nebabe.

Him:okaythen.Soispokewi
thThabo,hesaidhe
canholdthingsf
ormet omor
row.Iguesswedont
havetoleavewheniknockoff
,wewilll
eaveear
lyi
n
themorning.
I
nser
t35

Me:wowt hat
sgoodnewsbabe,
thankyouf
ordoi
ng
al
lthatf
orme.
Hi
m:your
eal
lydonthavet
othankmemyl
ove,
its
mydut
y.

Webr i
efl
ykissed,
andmadesandwi ches.Ihated
howmypr oblemshadt akenovermyl i
fe,icouldn'
t
evencooksupperformyman.Butit hi
nkitwillall
getbett
er,whenigetbackfrom vaal
.

Aftereat i
ngiwashedt hedi shes, whi
lehewat ched
soccer .Wheniwasdoneiwal kedtoshoweral one,
thenwor emypj sandgoti nbed.Ibeganchat ti
ng
withKenei lweaboutl eavingt omor r
owmor ning.
Alsor espondedt oTshol o'sandAmanda' s,they
wer etalki
ngaboutt akingmeoutwhenicomeback.
Mi nuteslaterOupaal soj oi
nedmei nbedandwe
slept.Iwassogl adt hathewasnotsot ouchy
touchy, ij
ustdidnthavet heener gyofexplaining
whywehadt ousepr otecti
onal lofthesudden.
Thenextmor ningwewokeupear lyi
nt hemorning,
around5am.Wewant edtogost rai
ghttoSimon
from here.Weshower ed,t
hendr essedinallbl
ack.
Hewor ewor ehisblacknikegolfshirt
,rawblack
skinnyjeanwit
hbl acktimber
landboot s.Then
toppedhi sl
ookwithhi sbl
ackbikerjacket.
Ijustworemybl ackdenimjumpsuitandmybl ack
airfor
ce1, thent
oppedmyl ookwithmyblackbiker
j
acket .If
ixedmyf aceandbrushedmystr
aightup.I
reall
yhadt ochangemyhai r
styl
e.

Wefinal
lywalkedout
,sinceweplannedongetti
ng
br
eakfastontheway.Wel ockedt
heflatandgoti
n
hi
scar,thendroveof
ftovaal.
Eminem wastheonlyonemakingsoundthr
ough
hiscarsoundsyst
em,iguesswewer ebot
hdeepin
thought
s.

Hey,
wisht
her
ewasabet
terway,
formet
osayi
t
ButIswearonever
ythi
ng,
I'
ddoanyt
hingf
orheron
anyday
Therear
ejustt
oomanyt
hingst
oexpl
ain,
wheni
t
rai
ns
Guessi
tpour
s,yesi
tdoes,
wisht
her
ewasn'
tany
pai
n

3hoursl
aterwearri
vedandparkedatt
hegat
eof
t
heplaceiusedtocallhome.Wedeci
dedt
hatiwal
k
i
nalone,j
ustoutofr
espect.
If
inal
lyknockedonthedoor
,mi
nut
esl
atert
hedoor
wasopenedbySi mon.
I
nser
t36

Hest
oodt
her
eandpl
acedhi
shandsi
nhi
spocket
s.

Hi
m:canihel
pyou?

Me:canicomei
n?
Hi
m:act
ual
lyno,
whatdoyouwantDi
ntl
e?

Iwassoangryatthi
sman, butihadt
oremai
ncal
m
becauseist
il
lhadquest
ionsforhim.

Me:ihear
daboutmymom, soiwashopi
ngtosee
whereyouburi
edher.Nott
omentionwhyiwasnot
t
oldaboutherdeat
h.

Him:yousureknowhowt oactyounglady,have
youforgot
tenthatyouar
etheonewhol efthere?.
Nowyouwantt ocomeherepret
endi
ngt ocare
abouther,
whenyouknewver ywellt
hatyoul efther
i
nabadst ate.

Me:(
betweenmytear
s)thati
ssounf
airandyou
knowit
.Youaret
hereasonilef
t.
Hi
m:ihavenothingt
osayt oyou,bl-
346that'
s
wher
eyouwillf
indher.Donteversetyourfi
lt
hyf
oot
i
nmyhouseeveragain.

Me:soyoudontseeanyt
hingwrongaboutnot
l
ett
ingmeknowaboutherdeath?

Hi
m:t
hisconver
sat
ioni
sover
.

Hewalkedbackinsi
deandihear
dhi
mlockthedoor
.
Iwipedmytear
sandslowlymademywaytothe
carandgoti
n.

Oupa:t
hatbad?

Me:hear
tl
essi
fyouaskme,
atl
easthegavemeher
gr
avenumber.
Hi
m:wel
llet
sgonow.

Inodded,
thenhedroveof
ftoourcemet
eri
es.They
arej
ust20minutesaway.
Whenwear r
ived,
iwal kedtohergraveal one.I
walkedf ut
herin,untilireachedhergr ave.Iguessi t
wast imetocr youtal lthepainif
eeli
ngi nside,
i
l
ovedherevenwhenshechosehi mi nfrontofme.
Myownmot herbrokemeataver yyoungage, ijust
kneeleddownnextt ohergavenotknowi ngwhatt o
saybutcr y.Iwaspl anni ngonsayingal ot,butnowi
wasbl ockedf r
om talking.
30minutesl
ater
,ideci
dedt
oleavewi
thoutsayi
ng
anyt
hing.

☆Oupa☆

Iwasmorewor
ri
edaboutmywoman, ithi
nkthe
whol
ethi
ngwasslowl
ykil
li
ngher.Idontevenknow
whatt
odotomakeherfeelbet
ter
.
Afterweleftt
hecemeterysheaskedmetodropher
offatherbestfr
iendKenei
lwe,
whichit
houghtwas
bestdecisi
onsinceshewasinabadstate.
I
nser
t37

Butiwil
lbefet
chingherl
atersi
ncewewi
llbe
sl
eepingatmyplace.

Ideci
dedtodrivetoVreenigi
ngtogetsomefood
andsnacksforlat
er,whil
eiwasont hewaymy
phonekeptonvibrat
ing.Ideci
dedtoignor
eit
,si
nce
iwassti
lldr
ivi
ng.
Aft
erparki
ngmycaratt hemal
l,itookoutmy
phoneandifoundmissedcal
lsfrom mysist
erand
Mbali
.Ideci
dedtocallMbal
ifi
rst.
*
phonecal
l*

Her:fi
nall
y,wher
ear
eyou?
.Becauseyouar
e
obviousl
ynotatwor
k.
Me:Vaal
,accompanyi
ngmygi
rl
fr
iend.

Her
:that
sbul
lmanOupa,
ial
soneedyouher
e.

Me:youseem tofor
gett
hatiam notyourhusband
Mbali
,youdontgetto"
need"me.Youonlyhavet o
"
want"me.

Her:wel
lthatwasbef
oreif
oundoutt
hatiwas
pr
egnant.

Me:what ?
,youmeanal lt
histi
meyouwer enoton
pil
l?.Howcanyoubesost upidMbali
?,evenmy20
yearoldgir
lfr
iendknowsbett
erthant
obet hat
i
rresponsi
ble.

Her:dontyouevendarecompar
emewiththatf
at
gi
rl
fri
endofyours,youhearme?
.It
snouseargui
ng
aboutitbecauseiam keepi
ngthebaby,iguessi
wasnevert heprobl
em aft
eral
l.Ledwabamademe
thi
nkthatiwast heprobl
em al
lthoseyear
s.

Me:idontcarewhatyouthi
nk,butyouarenot
keepi
ngthatbabyMbali
.Aretr
yingtogetmekill
ed?

Her:comedownbabe,let
st al
kabouteveryt
hing
whenyoucomeback.Wer eal
lydonthavetorush
onmakingbaddeci
sions.

Me:youdontgeti
tne? ,
idontwantt
ohaveababy
wit
hyou.Ourthi
ngwassupposet obeabouthavi
ng
f
un,andnowyouj ustspoi
ledt
hefun.

Ihungup,andfuri
ouslyhi
tthestari
ngwheel
count
lessl
yunti
licouldn'
tdoitanymore.I
tsal
l
messedupnow, howdi dmylif
egetsomessedup
soquickl
y?.I
fMbali'
shusbandf i
ndsoutaboutme
hewontsparemyl i
fe.
If
inal
lymovedoutofmycar
,andwentst
rai
ghtt
o
pi
k'npay.

☆Mbal
i☆

Me:st
upi
dboy,
hehunguponme.

Lerat
o:wel
lfr
iend,
iwar
nedyouabouttheseyoung
boysyoukeeponcheati
ngwit
h,butyoujustnever
l
ist
ent ome.
I
nser
t38

Me:youdontgeti
tfr
iend,Oupaisnotj
ustany
anot
herboy.Heknowshowt owor kme,heknows
howtomakemewanti t
.Heissolovi
ng,and
char
ming.hetur
nsmeonbyj ustl
ooki
ngathim.

Ler
ato:andyouaremar
ri
edt
othemostr
uthl
ess
man,remember?
Me:who'ssi
deareyouonnow? ,
becauseyouar
e
ser
iousl
yagai
nstever
ythi
ngisay.

Lerat
o:iam tryi
ngt ol
ookoutf oryou,whatwi ll
happenwhenyourhusbandf i
ndsout ?.Imeanyou
canthidethatpregnancyf orever,
youar etheone
whohasbeent alkingaboutbeenmont hssi nceyou
guysgotintimate.Sohewi l
lquickl
yknowt hatthe
pregnancyisnothi s,andwhatdoyout hinkwi l
l
happentoyouryoungboyf r
iend?.Mbal iyoudont
evenknowwhathappenedt oyourexl overyou
werecheatingwi th,webothknowt hatLedwabagot
tohim.

Me:justgetoutofmyhouseLi
ra,
idontneedyour
negati
veenergyri
ghtnow.

Ler
ato:ohwow,negat
iveener
gy?.Real
lynow?,
you
mustbereal
lyst
upidi
fyouthinkyoucanhavethat
boyalltoyour self
.Hedoesntloveyouandyou
knowi t
.Hei sjustusingyouformoney,justl
ikethe
restoftheot hersyouhad.Youjustneedtogrowup
andstopt hinkingthatyoucancontr
oleveryt
hing
andever ybodyar oundyou.

Shet ookherexpensi vepurseandwal kedoutofmy

house.Il oveLer at
o, sheistheonlyl oyalfri
endi
haveandsheal wayst ell
sitli
keitis.Butr i
ghtnowi
justdidntwantt ohearherunpol i
shedt rut
h,ihadto
stopOupaf rom thinkingaboutabor tingourbaby.I
knowhowt ohandl emyhusband, andial waysget
whatiwant .Iknowf orsur ethatOupai sconfused
byt hatfatgirlf
ri
endofhi s,butiplanonmaki ng
suret hather emainsmi ne.

Justwheniwasaboutt
oleavethekit
chen,
my
husbandwalkedi
nweari
ngcasuall
yandsnakedhi
s
armsaroundmywaist
.

Hi
m:mybeaut
if
ulwi
fe,
doyouhaveanypl
ans
t
oni
ght
?

Me:
(smi
led)notr
eal
lyhoney,
whatdoyouhavei
n
mi
nd?

Hi
m:dinnerf
ortwomaybe,
itsbeenawhi
lesi
nce
wewentouttoget
her
.
I
nser
t39

Me:il
ovehowyourmi
ndwor
ksmyl
ove,
dinneri
tis.

Hi
m:gr
eat
,iwi
llbei
nmyst
udyt
hewhol
eday.

Me:nopr
obl
em l
ove.

Webrief
lykissedthenhewalkedtohisst
udy,iam
al
waysirri
tatedbyhispr
esence.Heistoool
df or
me,i
tsalwaysbeenaboutthemoneyandpower .I
t
wasneveraboutlove,
tomakemat ter
sworsehe
coul
dn'
tevenmakemecl imax.Soihadtof
inda
waytoreachorgasms,thatswhenibegant
odate
youngboys.
If
inal
lywal
kedupst
air
stot
akeashower
.

Kenei
lwewasbusybakingmyf avour
it
emuf f
ins,
whil
eiwaswatchingher.Shewasexactl
ythe
per
sonineededtoseeespecial
lyatmysad
moment.

Her:sowhatwi
llhappennow?,dontyouthinkyou
shouldsear
chf
oryourmom' saunt?.Sur
elythey
al
sodontknowaboutyourmom.

Me:i'
dr at
hernotst
artsomethi
ngicantfi
nish,i
alr
eadyhavemyowndemonst odealwi
th.Andi
thi
nkishouldfocusmoreonf i
nishi
ngmyst udi
es,
i
am practi
cal
lyanorphannow.
Her:ihearyoubabe,andiam soproudofyou.You
ar
er eal
lyhandli
ngthi
swholethingli
keanadult
,i
wassosur ethatyouweregoi
ngt ocausedramafor
Si
mon.

Me:ididthi
nkaboutcausingdramaforhi
m, buthe
wasgoingtomakesur ethatil
ookst
upidsincehe
rai
sedmeandmar r
iedmymom.Hewasal sogoing
tousethefactt
hatiranawaywi t
hOupaashi s
scapegoatt
oeveryt
hingisay.

Her
:usel
essman,
hei
sgoi
ngt
oregr
eti
toneday.

Me:iam sooverhi
m,i
'
mjustgl
adt
hatiam l
ivi
ng
f
arfrom hi
m.

Weconversedmor eabouteveryt
hing,sheeven
expl
ainedhowshei sgett
ingseri
ouswi t
hKatleho.I
wasstil
laf
raidtotel
lheraboutmyi nci
dentofSTD's,
shewasdefinit
elygoi
ngtoblameOupa.iknow
exact
lyhowshef
eel
sabouthi
m.

Weat ethemuf fi
nswhileli
steni
ngtomusic,her
si
sterPalesaalsocameandj oi
nedus.Theymade
sur
et hatifor
getaboutallmypr obl
ems,iwouldj
ust
l
aughal otbecausetheyarebothcrazy.
Ar
ound8pm,
Oupacameandf
etchedme.
I
nser
t40

Isai
dmygoodbyesandl
eftwi
thmyman.

Oupawassodi st
antandt ooqui
etformyliki
ng,
somethi
ngwaseat i
nghim up.Butijustdi
dntwant
tonaghim aboutit,
iwil
ljustwai
tforhimtotellme
whenheisr eady.
20mi
nut
eslat
erwearr
ivedathi
spl
ace,
wewal
ked
i
nandi
tseemedl
ikehecooked.

Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
ingbabe?
Me:al
otbet
ter
,thankyou.

Hi
m:(smil
ed)iguessyouneedt
ovi
sitKenei
lwe
moreoft
en.

Me:(l
aughed)iguessso.Areyouokaybabe?,you
seem tobeindeepthoughts.Somet
hingi
s
defi
nit
elyeati
ngyouup,icanevenseeitt
hrough
yoursmile.

Him:i
tsnothi
ngicanthandl
esweet
hear
t,ij
usthat
e
howmyj obhaschangedtobei
ngsohar
dandal ot
.

Me:oh,
iam sor
ryl
ove.

Hi
m:it
sokaymyl
ove,
let
seat
.Icookedyour
f
avor
it
e.
Ismil
edashedi shedupforthebot
hofus, ij
ust
knewt hathedidntmakethatbeefl
asagne.He
surel
ygoti tf
rom pik'
npay,l
olbutiwasnotabout
tobursthisbubble.

Hewast r
yingsohar dtolookokay, buticoul
dsti
ll
seet hathewasnotf i
ne.atleastiknewwhatwas
str
essi nghim, soij
ustlethim be.Af t
ereati
nghe
helpedmewi t
hthedishes,Ihadt otakemy
antibioti
cswi t
houthim noti
cing.Whenwewer e
donewewal kedstr
aighttobedbecausewewer e
goingbackt oPTAt omorrow.

Thenextmor ningwewer ewokenbyal oudknock

ont hedoor,webothwenttothekit
chent ocheck
whowasknocki ngsoloudl
yearl
yinthemor ning.I
remainedont hecouchwithmygownon, Oupawas
metbyhi sfuri
oussist
eronthedoorstep.She
pushedhi minside,
andwalkedtome.ButOupa
quicklygotbetweenus.
Matshi
diso:youjustneverl
istenne?,howmany
t
imeshaveit ol
dt hatmybrotherwil
lneverbeyour
t
ickett
oyourdr eams.

Me:wit
hallduerespectausiTshi
di,iam notusi
ng
yourbr
otheri
fthat
swhatyoual lt
hink.Iactual
ly
l
ovehim.

Her:whatdoyouknowaboutlove?,huh?
.Yout
hink
idontknowthatyouhavebeensleepi
ngwit
hyour
stepf
ather
.
I
nser
t41

Oupa:okayt
hat
senough,cl
earl
yyouareonlyher
e
toinsul
tmywoman.Pl
easegetout,
idonteven
knowhowyouknewiwasher e.

Mat
shi
diso:youar
egoi
ngt
oregr
eti
tonedayl
ilbr
o,
oncesheisdonemilki
ngyou.Shewi l
lleaveyoudry
andcold,andwenaDint
ledonteventhinkthatyou
wil
leverbeouri
nlaw.Justf
orget,
itwil
lnever
happen.

Oupa:j
ustgetout
.

Shefur
iousl
ywal
kedout,
andiwasl
eftshockedby
herwor
ds.Oupawalkedt
omeandheldmyf ace.

Him:dontevent
hinkabouthermyl
ove,
igotyou
andiam notgoi
nganywhere.

Me:ibel
ieveyoubabe,ij
ustdontunderst
andwher
e
shegotallt
hosel
iesaboutmystepfather
.

Hi
m:nonobaby,dontlett
hoseli
esgett
oyou.Just
f
ocusont
hefutur
e,theposit
ivef
utur
ewithme.
Oupawasdef ini
telymychosenoneguys, idont
knowwhatiwoul dbewi t
houthim.Wesomar
decidetomakebr eakfastandeat,hewouldmake
notsof unnyj
okesher eandthere.somehowifel
t
thatitwassaf
etot ellhi
m aboutmyvisitt
othe
doctor.

Me:babe?

Hi
m:yesmyl
ove.

Me:daysagoi hadavaginali
tchi
ngproblem,andi
wasf orcedt
oseeadoctor.hefoundoutthatihad
bacteri
aSTD's,
alt
houghistil
ldontunder
standwhat
causedi t
.

Hi
m:oh,
butwhydi
dntyout
ellme?

Me:ij
ustdi
dntwantyout
owor
ry,
plusi
tscur
abl
e.
Soiam st
il
lont
het
reat
ment
.

Hi
m:itexplai
nswhyyouaredist
antt
hisdays,
i
t
houghtitwasthei
ssueofyourmom.

Me:iam sosorr
ybabe,ir
eall
yhat
elyingt
oyou
becauseyouhavebeennothi
ngbutgoodtome.

Hemovedf
rom hi
schai
randcamet
ome,
thent
ook
bot
hmyhands.

Him:iam thebl
essedoneher emyl ove,youdont
owemeanyapol ogies.IloveyousomuchDi ntl
e,
andi wantyout
oknowt hatiam hereforyou.You
donthavetogothrought heworstalone,youshould
havetoldmemyl ove.Don'teverthi
nkthatyouwi l
l
bewor r
yingme,ihavetowor ryabouttheloveofmy
l
ife.
Me:wowbabe,
iloveyoumor
e.
I
nser
t42

☆Oupa☆

Whenwewer edoneeat i
ngbr eakfast,wecl eared
thoseplatesandwashedt hem toget her.Thenwe
wentt ohaveani nnocentshowert oget her,ifeltso
badbecauseiknewwhyshegoti nfect i
ons.Ij ust
regret
tedever yt
hingieverdidwi t
hMbal i,ihaven't
savedalotofmoneybutiam wi l
li
ngt oloset hatjob
j
ustt obef arawayf r
om her.Shei sdef i
nitelygoing
tocostmemyl i
feandrelati
onshipi fshekeepst hat
baby.

Whenwewer edonewet ookourminibagsand

l
ockedmypl ace.Thenwedr oveof
ftoPr etor
ia,
Dint
leseemedalotbett
erandiknewihadt odo
goodbyher.Nomor efooli
ngaround,shegot
i
nfecti
onsbecauseofmeandiwontf orgivemysel
f
i
fthewor
stwoul
dhappent
oher
.

3hour sl
aterwear rived,iparkedmycart henwe
usedthestairstomyf latandigotthewor st
surpri
seofmyl i
fe.Ijustknewt hatshi
twasabout
tohitt
hefan, MrLedwabawasst andingnexttomy
fl
at.MrLedwabawoul dn'tbehereonaSundayi fit
waswor krelated,Mbal imusthavesai dsomethi
ng
aboutthepregnancy.
Wefi
nal
lyreachedthedoor
,andigaveDi
ntl
ethe
keyt
ounlockthedoor.

Ledwaba:i
fiti
sn'
tMrThabediandhi
swoman,
how
areyou?

Di
ntl
e:wear
egoodsi
r,howcanwehel
pyou?

Me:ohbabe,
hei
sact
ual
lymyboss.MrLedwaba.
Di
ntl
e:awbabe,
whydi
dntsayso.Pl
easecomei
n
si
r.

Weallwalkedi
n,andsatonthecouches.Di
ntl
e
tookourbagst
oourroom andiusedthat
opport
unit
ytofi
ndoutwhyhewasher e.

Me:uhm.
..si
rwhatcanidof
oryouont
hissunday?

Him:i
'm actuall
yheret
oseeyouandyourwoman,
solet
swai tforher
.

Yohireall
yhopeditwasnotwhatit hought ,
he
l
ookedsupercool.Ijustcoul dn'
treadhisf ace,ij
ust
hopeitssomethi
ngel se.Ireall
ycantaf fordtolose
Dint
leoverthatmess, minuteslat
erDi ntl
ecame
backwithaglassofjuiceandhandedt oMr
Ledwaba.Hechuckled, iguessbecauseDi ntl
e
neveraskedhim whathewoul dli
ket odr i
nk.
Hi
m:(
smi
led)il
ikeawomanwhot
akescont
rol
.
I
nser
t43

Di
ntl
e:exuseme?

Ledwaba:iam t
alki
ngaboutt
hej
uice.

Di
ntl
e:(l
aughed)oht
hat
,it
sei
thert
hatorwat
er.

Me:uhm.
..
sirshei
sher
enow.

Hi
m:(
smi
rked)ohyes.

Heplacedhisgl
assofj ui
ceont het
abl
e,andlooked
atDintl
e.Nomatterhowmuchhewoul dsmi l
e,he
sti
lll
ookedscar
yandi nti
midat
ing.
Him:(caml y)wellyourboyfri
endoverherehasbeen
sleepingwi thmywi fe.I
tsbeenhappeningforovera
yearnow, sheisactuall
ytheonewhogott hatjob
andt hisflatforhi
m.Ibelievewearethevicti
ms
here,andit houghtyoushoul dknowsinceshei s
nowpr egnantwi t
hhisbaby.

Justl
ikethat,t
het r
uthwasout.Nowarni
ng,no
goi
ngar oundit.Theplai
ntrut
hwasout,Di
ntl
e
l
ookedsocal m.Shel ookedbackatmeandsmiled.
Thenshel ookedbackatMrLedwaba.

Di
ntl
e:doyouhaveanyt
hingt
obackupwhatyou
j
ustsai
dsir
?

Him:iwashopingyouwouldsaythat,ihavean
envel
ophereofallt
hetimesanddatestheymet
plusthei
rpi
ctur
es.EvenaUSBofavi deoofthem
makingoutinoneofmyhousesinPor tEli
zabet
h.
Hesai dashet ookoutt hatenvel
opf r
om hisinside
pocketofhisjacket,andhandedi tovertoDintl
e.
Dint
ledidntwast eanytime,sheimmedi at
elyopened
theevenlop.it
hinkshewasmetbyt hepictures,
becauseshequi cklyclosedtheevenlopandpl aced
i
tont hetable.

Di
ntl
e:oh,
thankyouf
orcomi
ngmesi
r.

Hi
m:keepwel
lma'
am.

Okayiwasst i
llstuckont hecouch,asDi ntl
ewalked
him out
.Ifel
tli
keiwaswat chi
ngamovi e, i
tsl
ike
theyspokeabouti tbefore.Theywerebot hcalm
andcoll
ected,wellDintleisnottheshoutingtype
butshewasdef initel
yscar i
ngmenow.

Whenshecamebackiquickl
yblockedherway
becauseshewasheadi
ngtothebedroom.
Me:babyletmeexplai
nplease,i
twasal
lami stake.
Ionl
yloveyouandsheknewt hat.I
twasallabout
themoney,itwasaboutbui
ldi
ngabett
erfuturefor
thebot
hofus.
I
nser
t44

Dint
le:(bet
weenhertears)shame,poorl
it
tl
eDi ntl
e.I
wast oostupi
dt ot
hinkyoucoul dact
ual
lyloveme, i
meanevenmyownmot herfai
ledtol
oveme.Ij ust
hopei twasallwor
thit.

Shepushedmeoutoft hewayandrantot he
bedr
oom.Thenihear dherl
ockedt
hedoor ,my
hear
tbrokeint
opieceswhenihear
dherscr eam out
l
oud.Iwentdownont hesamedoor,astearsfel
loff
myface.Iseri
ousl
ybrokethewomanilove.

I
twasal lcl
eart
hatLedwabahadbeenfol
lowi
nghi
s
wif
e,idontknowwhatiwoulddoifDi
ntl
edeci
des
t
oleaveme.
30mi nutesl at
erthebedr oom wast ooquietf
ormy
l
iking, ibegant oknockcount lessl
ywi t
hno
response.Iwasget t
ingsoscar ednow, ibegant
o
kickt hedoorcount lesslyunti
litbrokedown.I
quickl ywal kedinsi
deandshewasnoti nbed,i
wal kedf utherintothebat hr
oom andiwasmetby
hermot ionlessbodyont hefl
oorwi t
hanempt y
cont ainerofpi l
lsnexttoher.

Iwokeupt oasoundofmachi nes,andij ustknew

thatiwasst i
llali
ve.Ilookedoutt hewi ndowandi t
wasear l
yinthemor ning, meaningitmustbet he
nextdayifnotdays.Ihadnot hi
ngt olivef or,andi
j
ustdidntwantt oli
veanymor e.Everythingi nme
wasshat t
ered, nottoment i
onmysel fconf i
dence.
Oupapr omisedmel if
ei tsel
fandibel ievedhi m.I
l
ivedalmostmywhol el i
fearoundhi m, ijust
couldn'
tseelifewi t
houthi m.Hewasmyf i
rst
everyt
hing,andisur et hathetrulylovedme.

If
inal
lyt
ri
edt
osi
tup,
andisawhi
mrusht
omet
o
hel
pme.Ihadnoener gytopushhim awayfr
om me,
mythroatwastoodrytoevenshout
.Soilethi
m
hel
pme, thenhesai
dsomet hi
ngaboutget
ti
ngmy
doct
or.
Minuteslat
erhewal kedback,
fol
lowedbyt hat
handsomedoct or.Yestheonewhohel pedme
duri
ngtheSTD' ssaga.Yeeriwassoembar rassed,i
couldn'
tevenlookathim.Hewalkedt ome, and
checkedmyeyest henwrot
esomethingont hefil
e.
Thenaskedmet oopenmymout hwi deandidid.
Thenhesmi led.
I
nser
t45

☆Oupa☆

It
sfunnyhowithoughtihadever
ythi
ngunder
cont
rol
.Butnowidontevenhaveanythi
ngunder
me,notevent
hatonepersonicameherewith.I
l
oveDintl
esomuch, andiam goi
ngtofi
ghtforher
.
Idecidedt ogivehersomespace, soiwenttothe
parkinglotandgoti nmycar .Wheniwasaboutt o
starttheigniti
on, ifeltaropeonmyneckf rom the
backseat .Thisper sonwasonami ssi
onofkil
li
ng
me, itri
edf i
ghtingt hatropeoffmyneck,buthe
ti
ghtenedi tuntilicoul dn'
tbreat
hanymore.Ijust
l
azilylookedatt her earvi
ewmi rr
ortoseewhowas
taki
ngmyl i
fe,andi twast heoneandonlyMr
Ledwaba.

☆Mbal
i☆

Iwasst i
lli
nbedwhenif eltsomethingheavyont op
ofme, andiknewi tmustbemyhusband.Ij ust
pushedhi m of
fme, andtriedtositup.Iwas
shockedt oseemyhusbandhol di
ngagun, sit
ti
ngat
theedgeoft hebedlookingatme.Iwasnow
confusedbecausei thoughtijustpushedhim off
me, whenilookedatmyl efthandsideireal
ised
thatitwasactual
lyOupa.Butwhenit ookacl oser
l
ookathi m,hedidntlookl i
kehewasokay.Soi
quickl
ylookedbackatmyhusband,
iknewt
hathe
knewaboutOupa.

Him:dontbeaf
rai
dtofeelhi
m mywife,
imeanyou
havebeendoi
ngthatf
ortoolongnow.

Me:babyicanexl
ain,
itsnotwhatyout
hink.

Him:(l
aughed)it
sokaymydearwi fe,
iforgaveyou
alongtimeago.Imeanievenknowt hatyouonce
sl
eptwithmyl i
lbrotheronour2ndyearanni ver
sary.
Loliguessicouldn'tmakeyoul oveme, butialways
hopedthatyouwoul datleastr
espectme.Butno,
youwenttomybl ood,f
riendsandevenempl oyers.
Why?

Me:babyiam sosor r
y,idi
dntmeant ohur tyou.But
ipromiseihavel
earnedmyl esson,iam never
disr
especti
ngli
kethateveragain.
Hi
m:of
causeyouwont
,imeanhowcoul
dyou?

Iwasnowconf usedonwhathemeant,
unt
ilisaw
oneofhi
sguyswal kinhol
dinganempt
ypl
ust i
c
bag.Hesi
lent
lywalkedtome,
I
nser
t46

andi quicklyhadani deaofwhathewaspl anning

todo.It r
iedj umpingt otheothersideoft hebed,b
butifeltahar dgri
ponmyl eg.Pulli
ngmeont he
bedagai n,thenpl acedthatplasti
cbagovermyf ace.
Takingof falltheairfrom me,ikeptonki ckingand
screamingf orhi mt ostop.Buthedi dntstop,i
tgot
toomuchf ormeandl ostmybr eat
h.

Wednesdaymor ni
ngiwasgetti
ngdi scharged.
Oupanevercameback,iguesshegott hemessage.
Iwasjusthopi
ngtoseehim her
ebeggi ngagai
n,i
guessthat
shappenswhenyoul ovesomeone.No
matterhowmuchhehadhur tme, isti
llhopedto
hearhi
m saythathelovedme.Ij
ustwonder
edhow
iwil
lcopeonceigetoutofher
e,imeanidonteven
haveaplacetostay.
Justt
henmydoct
orwal
kedi
n.

Doc:sti
llnotchangi
ngyourmi
ndaboutseei
nga
counsel
lor?

Me:iam ser
iousl
yfi
nedoc,
itwasanacci
dent
.

Doc:webothknowthatitwasntanaccident
,buti
wontpushit
.Counsel
li
nghelpsyoudealwi t
hyour
demonsinalotbet
terwaypossibl
e,yougetto
rel
easeever
ythi
ngyoukeptinsi
de.Hereismycard
i
fyoueverchangeyourmind.

Me:iam sur
eiwontbeneedi
ngi
t,butiwi
llt
akei
t
anyway.
Hejustsmi l
edandhandedmemydi schargeforms,
isi
gnedt hem.thenhewal kedout
.Iwasstil
l
embarrassedbymypr oblems,imeanthisdoctor
gottoknowt hatiam goingt hr
oughal
ot.Justthen
mydoorswungopenedandMrLedwabawal ked.

Okayhewast helastper
soniexpect
edt
osee,iwas
real
lyhopi
ngtoseeOupa.MrLedwabawalked
furt
heri
n,andsatnotfarfr
om mybed.

Hi
m:howar
eyouf
eel
ing?

Me:get
ti
ngdi
schar
ged,
soiam good.Whatcanido
f
oryousir
?

Hi
m:oh,uhm.Ijustthoughtyoumightneedapl
ace
t
ostay,
sinceyourboyfri
enddeci
dedtorunaway
wit
hmywi fel
astni
ght.
Me:what
?,noi
tcantbe.

Yohiwasbrokenbeyondr epairshame.Iknowitol
d
hi
mi twasoverbutididntthi
nkhewoul drunaway
wit
hanotherwoman, clear
lyididntknowOupalike
it
houghtidid.
I
nser
t47

Howcanhehur tmesobadl y?,af

teral
ltheyearswe
shar
edtogether.Ij
ustcouldn'
thelpbutcry
hyst
eri
cal
ly,
r i
ghtinf
rontofthisscaryman.He
sl
owlyhandedmeat issue,t
hensatdownagai n.

Him:iam t
rulysor r
ythatikeeponbr i
ngingbad
newstoyou.If eelver
ybad, youar
est i
llyoungtobe
goi
ngthrought histhi
ngs.Iam wil
li
ngtohel pyou
whereican,starti
ngwithaccommodat ion.

Me:noiwi
llbef
ine,
iam t
ir
edofbei
ngachar
it
y
case.
Hi
m:butwher
ewi
llyougowhenyougetoutofher
e?

Me:iwi
llgobackhome.

Him:oh,noproblem then.Ialsobr
oughtyourbags
ofcl
othes,becausethatflatyouwerel
ivi
nginwas
cl
eared.

Me:cl
ear
edbywho?

Hi
m:byt
heowner
,whohappenst
obemywi
fe.

Me:ohisee,
pleasebr
ingmybagsi
n.Iwi
llmanage
onmyown.

MrLedwabawal
kedout,
yohOupaseri
ousl
ychose
anot
herwomanoverme.Hedi
dntevenwantt
o
knowwher
eiwi
llst
aywhenigetoutofher
e.
Minutesl
aterMrLedwabawalkedinwithmylarge
bags,wowbackt osquar
eone.Heplacedthem next
tomybed, andsaidhi
sgoodbyesandleftmewith
hiscardi
fieverchangemymi ndaboutneedi
nghis
help.

Yohiwassodonewi thPr etor

iashame,ididnteven
wanttohearanyt hi
ngel se.Imovedoutofmybed
andtookaqui ckshower ,isearchedoneofmybags
andtookoutmyr edmaxidr esswit
hmybl ackvans
sneakers.Ijustbrushedmymessyst rai
ghtup, and
l
eftmyf acenat ural
ly.Whi leiwassti
llsearchi
ngf or
myphonei noneoft hosebags, t
hedoctorwal kedin.
Yohthisguyal wayswal ksinonmei nallmy
embarrassingmoment s,nowihavet oexplainthe
bigbags.

Hi
m:l
ostsomet
hing?
Idi
dntevenl
ookathi
m.

Me:j
ustl
ooki
ngf
ormyphone.

Hi
m:goi
ngsomewher
e?

Me:yes,
home.

Hi
m:andwher
eishome?

Me:vaal
.

Hi
m:oh,
canidr
iveyou?

Iquicklyl
ookeduponhi m, andif
oundhim smi
li
ng.
Okayguysij ustcantgetenoughofhi
shandsome
face,ever
ythi
ngabouthi missoperf
ect.
I
nser
t48

Andrightnowidontknowhowt orespond,
hecan'
t
beser
ious.Whati
fheisjustpul
li
ngmyl eg.

Me:not
hanks,
iwi
llmanage.

Him:withthosebigbags,
idoubt
.Idontwant
anyt
hingfrom youmissMokwena,iam j
ustof
fer
ing
apurelyfr
iendshi
p.

Tjowhywasihur tbythosewordsmar a?
,butthen
whenit ookastepback.Ir
eal
isedthathewas
actual
lyright
,whatel
secanheofferabrokengirl
l
ikeme.Imeanhei ssooutofmyleague,iam justa
younggi r
lwhohascrushonhim.Oh, doireal
ly
haveacr ushonhim?

Me:oh,
iguessimi
ghtneedaf
ri
end.
Him:(smil
ed)excel
lent
.Letmehel
pyouwi
tht
hese
bags,pl
easefol
lowme.

Isil
entl
ydidasiwast ol
d,yohwhenwegotoutof
mywar dal leyeswer eonus.Buthewas
unbothered,ijustlookeddownunt i
lwer eachedthe
parki
nglot.Thenhel eadmet oaMer cedes-BenzC-
Classcoupe, thecarsuitedhim perf
ectl
y.Hef i
rst
ly
openedandcl osedthedoorf orme,thenloadedmy
bagsintheboot .Hefinal
lycamet ohisdri
versseat,
anddroveof f.

Hi
m:ithi
nkweshoul
dfindasuitabl
epl
acewhere
wecansi
tandhavebr
eakfastbefor
eheadi
nghome.

Me:ohokay.

Ihadnowordsl
eftf
ormetosay,t
hismanwas
taki
ngover
.Imeanthi
sver
yhandsomeman,wi
tha
themostdopestcarwastaki
ngover.Whowoul d
saynotohim?,heisacompletestr
angerbutnot
evenoncedidithi
nkabouthi
m kidnappi
ngmeor
evenki
llme.Hisbeaut
yandhowhecar r
ieshi
mself
,
saidal
otabouthim.

Iwascompletel
yshockedtohearhim pl
aymy
favour
it
erapper
,Eminem.Yohthisguywasdoing
thi
ngstomewi t
houtevennoti
cing,
eishormaybe
thi
sheartbr
eakismakingmevener abl
e.

Seduct
ion,
seduce
Ai
n'tnobodywho'
sasgoodatwhatIdo
Causeonemi
nut
eshel
ovesyou,
thenextshedon'
t
She'
sbeenst
olenf
rom you

Ichuckl
edtothatpartoft
hesong, hel
ookedatme
andsmiled.Yeer
rhissmil
enj e,
wasdoingwonders
tomybody.Justthenireal
isedthatwejustpar
ked
atKol
onnat
emal
l.
I
nser
t49

Welli
twaswr i
ttenf
ormet
osee,
other
wisei
woul
dn'thaveknown.

Wefi
nal
lygotoutoft
hecar
,andhel
eadmet
o
wi
mpy.
Wegott her
eandpl
acedanorderofengli
sh
breakf
ast,t
henf
oundatabl
ewhilewait
ingforour
food.

Hi
m:sowhyar
eyoul
eavi
ngPTA?

Me:ij
ustr
eal
isedt
hati
tsnol
ongermycupoft
ea.

Hi
m:oh,
becauseofsomef
ewbadexper
iences?
Me:uhm.
..
yes.t
heymi
ghtbef
ew,
butt
heyar
ehuge.

Him:andyouar egi vingup, justli

ket hat?.Imeani
seeyouasaf i
ght er,yesyouhadyourbad
exper i
encesbutyoucantl etthem det er
mi neyour
future.theremustbear easonwhyyoul efthome
andcamet hi
sside, itmi ghtbeschoolorj ob
oppor tuniti
es.Uset hatr easonasaf ueltof ight
harderf oryourf utur e,letitbet hereasonyoukeep
pushi ngf orabet terlife.Dontl etpaindest royyour
future,letpaingr owyout oyourbet t
erselfandt he
personyouar egoi ngt obepr oudofoneday.Weal l
havepr oblems,butweover powert hem bynot
givingup.Dontgi veup.

Hesur elycamepreparedshame,andhewasso
ser
ious.Somehowhehi thome,heremindedmeof
whatial wayswantedtodowithmyl i
fe.Al
thoughi
wasst i
llhear
tbroken,
andiwishedicouldstop
hopingtoseeOupacomebackt ome.
Me:sosi
nceidecl
inedcounsel
li
ng,
yout
houghtyou
shoul
dbr
ingi
toutinyou?

Hi
m:(
bust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er)i
sitwor
king?

Me:
(smi
led)wi
llsee.

Ourf oodf inall

ycame, andweat ewhi l
etal
king
abouthi m andhi sj ob.Wespokeabouthowhehas
hispr i
vatepr acti
ce, andst il
lwor k'
satpublic
hospitals.Ievenst oppedcal li
nghi m" doc"
,because
hisnamei sKhant shoMoeket si.Ilearnedt
hathei s
32year sofage, andher eal
lyador eshismot her
.
Lolwel lkindofamama' sboyi fyouaskme, Ieven
feltj
ealous.becauseineverhadt hatkindofbond
withmyownmot her .Hei sactuall
yt heonl
ychi l
d,
andhi sf atherdiedwhenhewasst il
linvar
sity.I
alsohadachancet oshar emyownsadst ory,fr
om
backhomet omycur r
entsituati
on.
I
nser
t50
Somehowif eltsofreear oundhi m,iwasnteven
ashamedt ot ellhi
m howOupal eftme.Khantsho
wasser iouslyt hedistr
act i
onineeded, butial
so
neededt ocal lKeneilwe.Butij ustcouldn'
tfi
ndmy
phone, atl
eastisawmypur se.Ijustdi
dntknow
howiwasgoi ngt osurvivewi ththeli
tt
leihad,i
meani fideci dedt ostayher eihadt ofindacheap
fl
at.Ireallydontwantt oinvolveMrLedwaba, iwant
tocloset hatsadchapt erforever.

Whenwewer edoneeati
ngheaskedmet o
accompanyhimtovodacom st
ore,
wegotinandhe
boughtSamsungA21.Thenhelookedatme.

Hi
m:whi
chnet
wor
kwer
eyouusi
ng?

Me:vodacom,
why?

Hi
m:it
hinkyoushoul
ddoasi
mswap,
inot
icedt
hat
youl
ostyourphone.

Me:oh,
butyour
eal
lydi
dnthaveto.Iam sur
eifi
l
ookdeeperi
nmybagsimightf
indit.

Hi
m:yes,
youwi
llf
indi
twhi
leusi
ngt
hisone.

Andjustl
iket
hatihadanewphone,
from t
hemost
handsomedoctor
.Somefri
endswemakene.

Wef i
nall
ywal kedbacktohiscar,heopenedand
cl
osedclosedt hedoorforme.Hegoti nthedri
ver'
s
seatanddr oveoff
,somethinginmecouldn'task
him wherewewer edrivi
ngto.Imeanihaventt ol
d
him whatihavedecided,soilethi
m beandsee
wherehet akesme.
Iwasn'tsurewhatiwasdoing,
butitwasdefi
nitel
y
comforti
ngmybr okenheart
.Knowingthathe
atl
eastcaredaboutme,wasjustenough.Ormaybe
iwasjustusinghimtorepai
rmybr okenhear
t,buti
cantbeusinghi
mifhewasonl
yaf
ri
end.Ri
ght
?,
wellyes.

WedrovepastKFCviadr
ivet
hru,
andhegotus
ver
ryber
rykrusher
s.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)youl
ookcomf
ort
abl
e.

Me:
(l
aughed)andishoudnt
?

Hi
m:(
laughed)imeantt
hatyoul
ookal
otbet
ter
.

Me:if
eelbett
er,
alt
houghiam notsosur
ewher
e
youar
etakingme.

Hi
m:wear
egoi
ngt
omypl
ace.

Ial
mostchokedonmykr
usher
,causi
ngmet
o
coughsobadl
y.Hej
ustst
olegl
ancesatme,
whi
le
l
aughing.

Me:uhm.
..
whyyourpl
ace?

Hi
m:becauset
hat
swher
eil
ive.

Me:oh.
..
I
nser
t51

Him:(l
aughed)relax,
youwil
lbestayi
ngatmy
cott
age.Iam justhelpi
ngafr
iendout,unt
ilsheget
s
backonherf eet.

Me:ohwow,
idi
dntexpectt
hatone.

Hi
m:iam seri
ousl
ynotfor
cingyoui
ntoanythi
ng
Di
ntl
e,icanst
il
ldr
iveyout
oyourfri
endsplacei
f
youst
il
lwantt
ogo.

Me:no,youwereact
ual
lyri
ght.There'
sareason
whyilefthome,
andiam goi
ngt ousethatr
eason
asmyf uel.

Him:(
smil
ed)andiam gl
adt
hatiwast
hat
convi
nci
ng.

Hecont i
nuedt odri
ve, unti
lisawhim dri
veinsome
beauti
fulsuburbs.Thenhedr oveinthi
shugeand
beauti
fulmansi on,
i swearthisguywasl i
vingin
styl
e.Ijusthopedthatiwasnotgoi ngtocause
tr
oublef orhi
m, imeanhi sgirl
fri
endmightnot
approvemest ayingher e.Eventhoughwenevergot
tothattopicofhim havingsomeonei nhislif
e.

Wegotoutoft hecar,
ashel edmetohisbeautif
ul
house.Iguessiwi l
lbetakentothecot
tagelat
er,
whenwewal kedinsi
deijustfel
linl
ovewit
hi t
.I
haveneverbeent othePr esi
dent
'shouse,butit
mustbel i
ket hisone.Thei nt
eri
ordesignwassi l
ver
andwhite,justsoper fect.Whenitur
nedtol ookat
him,hewasof fmysi ght.Asiwasabouttowal k
backoutside,hewal kedinwi t
hmybags.Ij ust
fol
dedmyar msandl ookedathim.

Me:whathappenedt
othecot
tage?

Him:eish,iactuall
yf or
gotthatmymom ar r
angeda
l
iveinhelperforme.Shewi llbearri
vingint
wodays
ti
me,iseriouslyforgot.Butihaveplentyofroomsin
here,
ipromi setogiveyoual lthepri
vacyyouwi l
l
need.Youwontnot icethatiam around,unl
essyou
wantto.

Hejustst
oodther
ewi t
hmybags, givi
ngmesome
beggi
ngpuppyeyes.Ijustcouldn'
thelpbutl
augh,
yohguyshaveyoueverbeenbeggedbya
handsomeguymar a?
?.Youwi llsur
elyunder
stand
whatwashappeni
ngt omer ightnow,iwas
enjoyi
ngeverymomentofbeingaroundhi
m.Wasi
thatdesper
atef
orat
tent
ionthough?,wasit
ryi
ngt
o
fi
llOupa'
sgapmaybe?.
I
nser
t52

Somuchwasr
unni
ngi
nmymi
ndatt
hatver
y
moment
.

Him:pl
easedontovert hi
nkaboutit
,ifyoudontfeel
comfor
tableli
vingaroundherewecanst il
lgoand
l
ookforaf l
atneartoyourschool
.Iwoul dn'
tmind
payi
ngitforyou.

Me:itsnotthat ,i
tsme.Ifeell
ikeiam losingmy
mind,everythingisjusthappeningsof ast.Idont
evenknowi fishoul dtr
ustyou,it
slikehistoryi
s
repeat
ingitself.Whenifir
stcameher eOupa
promisedmet hewor l
d,heevenpayedmywhol e
yearschoolf ees.Iwassosuret hatiwasi nthe
ri
ghtplace,ijustdontwanttomaket hesame
mi
stakes.Ir
eal
lyhopeiam notof
fendi
ngyou.

Him:No,iam act
ual
lygl
adt
hatyoufi
nall
yspokeup.
Youdidntl
etmyhandsomefacebul
lyyou.

Me:(bustedoutwi
thl
aught
er)youar
esof
ullof
yoursel
f.

Hi
m:(l
aughed)wel
lbl
amemypar
ent
sfort
hisl
ooks.

Wel aughedsomemor easheshowedmet hespare

bedroom.Webot hagreedthaticouldn'tli
vewi t
h
him,sohemadesomecal l
sandiwoul dbemovi ng
toasinglefl
atnearmyschool .Welliforcedhimt o
agreeonmaki ngadealwit
hme, thatiwillpayhim
everycentonceistar
tworking.Hel aughedatme,
buthecouldseethatiwasser ious.Sohej ust
agreed.
Wehadaver ygoodeveni ng,whilecookingsupper
toget
herandget t
ingt oeachothermor e.Aft
er
cookingweat eandwentt oourr ooms.Khant sho
wasr eal
lyagent lemanshame, honestlyiwouldn'
t
mindhavi nghim asmyman.Butt henihadtokeep
myselfint hefri
endshiplane,hewasdef i
nit
elytoo
hotforayounggi rll
ikeme.

Whenir eachedmyr oom, iquicklyhadashower .

Wheniwasdoneij ustwrappedmybodywi tha
towel
,thenithrewallmycl othesont hebed.That'
s
whenif oundmyphone, l
uckilyitwason20%
batt
ery.Soicouldreturnsomecal l
s,si
nceihadlots
ofmissedcallsfrom Keneil
weandAmanda.I
deci
dedt ocallKenei
lwefirst
.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:whatthehel
lDee?,
doyouhaveanyi
deahow
wor
riedsi
ckiwasaboutyou?
...
I
nser
t53
YouhadmeandPal
esaarr
angi
ngtocomet
hatsi
de
tomor
row,
wher
ethehel
lar
eyou?

Me:ar
eyoucal
m now?

Her
:calmisthelastt
hingyoushoul
dbeaski
ngme,
whatexact
lyhappenedtoOupa?

Me:whatdoyoumeannow?

Her:hewasf ounddeadinhi
scar,apparentl
yhe
wasdr i
vingwithanot
herwoman.Hissisteri
s
convincedthatyouhadever
ythi
ngtodowi ththat
.

Ij
usthangedupt hephone,andwentdownont he
fl
oorcr
yinghysteri
cal
ly.Oupacantbegone,i
ts
i
mpossible.Howcanhebedead? ,
hecantbe.
Kenei
lwekeptoncalli
ngme,justt
henihada
pri
vat
ecall.It
houghti
tmightbekeneil
we,soijust
l
etitr
ing.Iwassoshatter
ed,hecantbegone.No!
Iqui
cklywor emypj s,becauseiwantedtotel
l
Khantshotopr epar
et akingmehomet omor r
ow
morning.Ireal
lyhadtoseeOupa' sfamil
y,nomat t
er
thetheorytheyheard.Theyheardtohearmysi deof
thestory.
Iwalkedoutofmyr oom, goingt ohisr oom.I
knockedbutt herewasnoanswer ,buticoul dhear
musicpl ayingdownst airs.Iam Emi nem ' sf an, but
Khantshowasonanot herl evel.Iquicklywal ked
downstai r
s, onthel astst epoft hest airiwasmetby
moansandgr oanscomi ngf rom thel ounge.Isl owly
mademywayt ot helounge, andifoundKhant sho
hit
ti
ngitf rom theback.Thel adywasabi tdar kand
verysexy, theylookedl iket heywer eenj oying
eachother .Iwasbr oughtbackf r
om myt hought sby
Khantshocur si
ng.Oureyesmet ,andij ustr anback
tomyr oom.Thenl ockedt hedoor ,yohi
i
mmedi atelyfel
tchestpai ns.Iwasntsur ewhatwas
hurti
ngmet hemost ,
allif eltwaspai n.Iwasso
br
oken.

☆Khant
sho☆

Dammi t,Di
ntl
ewasnotsupposet owalkinonme
l
ikethat.Ij
ustneededsomer el
ease,soical
ledone
ofmyf uckbuddies.Ichoset
heloungeandpl ayeda
bitofmusicbecauseididntwanthertohearme.

Tracy:whatiswr
ongwi thyouK?,youcal
ledme
hereneedingtor
elease.Butyouj
ustjumpedof
fme
beforewecouldbothrelease.

Me:uhm.
..dr
essup,
youneedt
oleave
I
nser
t54

Tracy:iam notl
eavi
ngunt
ilyout
ellmewhat
's
goingon?
Me:dammi tTracy,
doihavet
of uckenremindyou
thatyouarenotmygir
lf
ri
end.Idontfuckenoweyou
anyexplanat
ion.

Tracy:mxm,j
ustmakeyousur
eyouneverever
fuckencal
lmewhengohungryagai
n.Iam done.

Shequi ckl
yworeherlongcoatandheel
s.Then
tossedherunderwearinherpurseandwal
kedout.I
wassoscar edt
ofaceDintl
eri
ghtnow,somethi
ng
thatihadneverfel
tbefor
e.

Ireall
ylikeDintl
e,butidi
dntwantt
oputmy
i
ntentionsoutther esi
nceshewasstil
lgoing
throughalot.Ididntwantt
otakeadvantageofher
vulnerabil
it
y,butnowimessedup.Shej ustsawme
asnot hi
ngbutahoe.
Iqui
cklyworemybr
iefsandranupst
air
s.Herdoor
waslocked,
andtot
hinkofherat
temptofsui
cide.I
justranbackt othekitchentogetsparekeys, when
igotbackt oherdoorif ir
stl
ypushedherkey.Theni
unlockedwi thmine,andimademywayi nsi
de.She
wasi nbed, butnotasleep.Isatonthecouchnot
farfr
om t hebed,faci
ngher .Herfacelookedso
horri
ble,shehadbeencr yi
ng.Myhear tjustbroke,
knowi ngthaticontri
butedtoherpain.Ijustdidnt
knowwhatt osayt oher.

Me:Dee.
..
iam sor
ryaboutwhatyousaw.Ir
eal
ly
di
dntmeantohurtyou.

Her:
(sni
ff
ed)iam goi
nghometomorr
ow,that
swhat
iwantedtot
ellyouwhenif
oundyoubusy.

Me:Dintl
eno, it
houghtwespokeaboutt
hat
.You
real
lydonthavetogo,idi
dntmeantomakeyoufeel
uncomfortabl
e.

Me:notever
ythi
ngi
saboutyouKhant
sho.Oupa
wasfounddead,
andhisfamil
ythi
nksthatihad
somethi
ngtodowithi
t.Noonecaresaboutthe
womanhewasf ounddeadwit
h,soihavetogoand
cl
earmyname.Youcangetoutnow, ineedmy
space.

Me:oh,iam r
eal
lysorr
yaboutOupa.Iknowhow
muchhemeantt oyou,iwi
llbereadyat7am
t
omorrowmor ni
ng.Goodnight.

Islowlymademywayout,wi
thoutherresponse.
Ir
eal l
ymessedupmyonl
ychances,butiwas
seriousl
ygoingt
omakei
tuptoher.
I
nser
t55

Star
tingbyaccompanyi
nghert
othesocal
led
f
amilyofherex.
If
inal
lygoti
nmyr
oom andmadeacal
l.
*
phonecal
l*
Mal
os:bi
gboss,
steel
himsel
f.Howar
eyou?

Me:ihaveaj
obf
oryou.

Hi
m:iam al
lear
sboss.

Me:makenomi st
akesMal
os,
tomorr
owiwillbein
vaalandyouar
egoingt
obemymi r
rorandshadow.

Hi
m:asal
waysboss.

Me:youar
egoingt
obet heburni
ngmi
rr
ori
fthi
ngs
dontgomyway.Under
stood?

Hi
m:obvi
ousboss,
whyar
eyour
emi
ndi
ngmemy
j
ob?
Me:iam gl
adthatwear eont
hesamepage.Iwi
ll
l
etmyuncleknowt hatyouwontbei
nPTA
t
omor r
ow.

Ihungup,t
henidai
ledmyuncl
ewhoi
smy
mother
'sbr
other
.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:ifi
tisn'
tmyf
avour
it
eandonl
ynephew,
how
ar
eyouson?

Me:i
'
minl
ovesi
r.

Him:(
laughed)fuckboyisfi
nal
lyt
amed,letme
guess..
.Youfi
nall
ydecidedtomarr
yLucy?

Me:
(l
aughed)hel
lno,
shei
ssoyest
erday.
Him:(
laughed)thenyouarefoolingyourself
,lett
he
newpussygo.Youknowhowmuchyoul oveLucy,
i
tsli
keshegotyouunderaspel lorsomet hi
ng.You
j
ustcantresisther
,onceyouguysmeett henext
thi
ngyouar ebacktoget
her.It
sbeenhappeni ngfor
over5yearsnow, i
tmustber eallyt
ir
ing.

Me:that
swhereyouar ewronguncle,
ihave
act
uall
yfal
lendeepl
yinlovewithsomeelse.
Alt
houghiam 12yearsoldert
hanher.

Hi
m:ei
shshei
sst
il
linschool
?

Me:i
ncol
legeuncl
e.

Him:samet hingKhantsho.Iam notsur

eaboutall
thatman, doyouthi
nkshewi llbeabl
etohandle
yourotherli
fe?.Ourendlesstri
psandthedanger
thatsurr
oundsyou?
Me:trustmetodealwi
thallthatuncl
e.Ireal
lyl
ove
thatchick,
andiam wi
ll
ingtodoanythingtomake
hermi ne.

Him:oh,sheisnotevenyoursyet.Lolif
oresee
dangerhere,
haveyoulostyourtouchmyl i
ttl
esteel
?

Me:(bust
edoutwithlaughter
)nowayssi r
.Ij
ust
dontwanttocomeoutpushyori nsensi
ti
ve.She
hasbeenthroughal
otlatel
y.
I
nser
t56

Hi
m:(
laughed)ineedt
omeett
hisgi
rlwhoi
smaki
ng
myst
eelmelt.

Me:(l
aughed)andyouwi ll
.Ihaveal
socall
edyou
becauseiwillbeaccompanyinghertovaal
,and
Maloswillbemymi rrort
omor r
ow.
Hi
m:sheal
readyhaspr
obl
ems?

Me:uncl
ecomeon,weallhavepr
obl
ems.Youofal
l
peopl
eshoul
dunder
standthat
.

Hi
m:dontgetmewr ong,
iam notjudgingher
e.I
t
hinkshei
stooyoungforyou,atl
eastLucyis
matur
eandunderst
andsyourotherli
fe.

Me:li
keisaidsir
,Lucyisoldnewsandiam not
pl
anningongoingbackt her
e.Di
ntl
emightbeyoung
andgull
ibl
e,butsheist
oodi f
fer
entandnobl
e.Iam
pret
tysureshewillbef
ine.

Hi
m:okay,pointtaken.Itr
ustyouonmakinggood
j
udgement,iguessiwi l
lseeyouonournext
meeti
ngthen.

Me:t
hankyousomuchsi
r,i
wil
lseeyout
hen.
Ihungup,
gotundert
hecover
sandsl
ept
.
Thenextmor
ningiwaswokenupbymyri
ngi
ng
phone,
whenilookedatt
hescr
eeni
twasmymom.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:queenofmyhear
t.

Her:mor
ningson,sorr
yforwaki
ngyou.Ij
ust
wantedt
oknowi fyouwil
lbehometoday,becausei
wantedt
osendMavi s.

Me:it
houghtyousai
dyouwi
llbesendi
ngher
t
omorrow.

Her:ihaveatr
ipt
oDur
bant
oni
ght
,andmydr
iveri
s
l
eavingwithme.
Me:sendmeheraddr
ess,
iwi
llgetsomeonet
o
f
etchhert
omorr
ow.

Her
:great
,iwi
llt
alkt
oyoul
ater
.Ij
ustar
ri
vedi
nmy
meeti
ng.

Shehungup, thenisatup.Inoticedthatitwas20
to6am, whatanear l
ymeet i
ngshehad.Ideci dedto
wakeupandmademybed.It ookashower .theni
woremywhi tepoloneck,bl
ackGuessj eanandmy
l
ongbl ackcoatwi t
hmybl ackt i
mber l
andboot s.
Whenil ookedt hr
oughthewi ndowi twaseven
rai
ningoutside.

Ifi
nall
ywalkeddownstai
rs,
passi ngDint
le'
sroom.I
j
usthopedshewi l
lwakeupf eel
ingalotbet
ter,
so
thatwecouldbeablet
ohaveaci vi
lconver
sati
on.
Igotint
hekitchenandr
emovedmycoat
,asibegan
makingbreakfast
.
I
nser
t57
Wheniwokeupi nt hemor ning,ihadamot herofall
headaches.Ij ustdi dntfeel li
keget tingof fbed, buti
hadal ongt ri
phome.Isl owl ygotoutt hecover s,
thenimademybed.Iwasr eallyfeelingcol d,andit
l
ookedl ikeitwasr ainingout side.If i
nallywentt o
shower ,wheniwasdoneiwor emybl ackpol oneck,
blackskinnyj eanandar edcoatwi thmybl ackvans
sneakers.If i
xedmyf aceandbr ushedwel lmy
strai
ghtup.Yeerihavebeenpl anni ngf oragest o
getmyhai rdone, Kenei l
wei ssogoi ngt oinsultme
forhavingt hi
smesseduphai r.Speaki ngof
Keneilwe, ij
ustremember edt hatilef therhangi ng
l
astnight .Idecidedt ocal lher.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:mor
ningbabe.

Her
:(
sleepyvoi
ce)di
dyouseet
het
ime?
Me:yesandit
saft
er7am.Iam sor
ryf
orcut
ti
ngyou
of
fli
kethatl
astni
ght
.

Her:i
tsokaybabe,iunder
standyouwer
est
il
lin
shock.Butwhathappened?.

Me:yoh, Oupawascheat i
ngonmewi t
hhisboss' s
wifeandmadeherpr egnant .That
showhe
managedt ogetthatj
obandt hefl
atwewer eli
ving
i
n.Thehusbandf oundout ,andcametotellmet he
newsr i
ghtinfr
ontofOupa.Yohiwassobr oken, i
evenoverdosedonpill
sandwokeupi nthehospi t
al
onmonday.That sthelastti
meisawOupa, theni
heardthatheranoffwiththatwoman.

Her:what?
, t
henhi
sfamilymustbeoutofthei
r
mindsforthi
nki
ngthatyoumighthavesomethi
ng
t
odowi thhisdeat
h.Probabl
yit
sthehusband.

Me:iam comi
ngt
hatsi
det
oday,
iam goi
ngt
otel
l
t
hem ever
ythi
ngiknow.

Her
:ei
shbecar
eful
babe,
theyar
etoof
uri
ous.

Me:af
ri
endi
saccompanyi
ngme.

Her
:whi
chf
ri
end?

Me:youwi
llmeethi
m soon.

Her
:what
?,hehDee.Lolyouhavemal
efr
iendsnow?

Me:
(l
aughed)bye,
iwi
llseeyouwhenigett
hatsi
de.

Ihungup, thenwalkeddownstai
rstot heki
tchen.
Wher eifoundthehandsomedoct orlooki
ngall
eatableinhiswarm out
fit
.Hewasbusy f i
xingthe
tablethathadbigengli
shbreakf
ast,yohandiwas
goi
ngt
oeatever
ythi
ngshame.
I
nser
t58

Isi
lentlysataroundt het abl
e,hel
ookedatme
befor
ehecoul dsitdown.Gi vingmethosepuppy,
beggingeyes.Iqui cklylookedaway,becauseiwas
defi
nitelygoingtofallforhischar
m.Iwasst i
llso
madathi m,idontevenknowwhybecausewewer e
si
mpl yfriends.

Him:Dintl
eiam real
lysor
ryforhur
ti
ngyoul
iket
hat
,
iswearitwonthappenagain.

Ist
il
ldidntl
ookathi
m,ij
ustt
ookapl
ateandbegan
ser
vingmyself
.

Me:your eal
lydonthavetoapologi
se,wearej
ust
fr
iends.Remember ?,
anditsyourhouseyoucando
whateveryouwant.Iam sorr
yforinvadi
ngyour
pri
vacy.
Him:Dee,pleasedontbel i
kethat
.Iwasn'
tsuppose
todothat
,itwasverywr ongofme.Canwepl ease
star
tover
,onacl eanslate.Pl
ease.

Onceagain,
ahandsomeguywasbeggingme.No
wait
,averyhandsomedoct
orfort
hatmatt
er.Ya'
ll
needtoseethi
sguyinfr
ontofme,Godofbeauty
thi
sone.

Me:yeahsur
e,f
orpeacesakeiguess.

Hi
m:oh,
thathur
ts.Butiguessideser
vei
t.

Isi
lentl
yateup,concentrat
ingonmypl ate.He
fi
nall
yateaswell,whenwer edoneit ookj ustmy
handbag.Hewassur pri
sedbythat,iguesshe
expectedtoseemepul l
ingmybi gbags.Imeanti t
whenisai diwasremainingthi
sside, especiall
y
nowt hatiknowthatihavetobuil
dmysel faf ut
ure.
Helockedhishouse,wegoti nhiscarthendrove
offt
ovaal.Ourfavouri
terapperwasonasal ways,
i
wasjustconcentr
ati
ngont heroad.Butiwouldsee
hi
m withthecornerofmyeye, busysteali
ng
gl
ancesatme.Lolmyhear twoulddoal it
tl
edance,
iwasgladthatmysi l
entt
reatmentwasaf fect
ing
hi
m.

I
'
m goi
ngt
hroughchanges
I
'
m goi
ngt
hroughchanges
(
Don'
tknowwhatI
'
m goi
ngt
hrough)
(
ButIj
ustkeepongoi
ngt
hroughchanges)

3hour sl
aterwearr
ivedinSebokengzone12, andi
direct
edhimtoOupa'shome.Whenwear r
ived,
therewerealr
eady2carsoutsi
dethei
ryard.1
belongedtoOupa'
ssister
,
I
nser
t59
ijustknewt hatiwasgoi ngtoreci
evenumberof
i
nsultscomingf rom her.Khant
sholookedatme
aft
erparkingthecar,ithinkhecouldseethatiwas
nowaf r
aid.Hesl owl
yt ookmyhand.

Him:aslongasi
'
m her
e,noonecanhur
tyou.Igot
youbabe.

Guysifeltli
kemi l
li
ondol lars,thosesimpl ewor ds
pushedoutt hefearihad.Isi mpl ylookedathi m
andsmiled.Icouldn'treleaseanywor dsf rom my
mouth,wewer ebroughtbackf rom ourl i
tt
lewor l
d
bysomeoneknocki ngonmysi deoft hewi ndow.I
qui
cklyturnedandl ookedup, iwasmetbyt he
angryMat shi
disowhoi sOupa' ssister.Shewas
wit
honeofOupa' saunt ,thatimetyear sback.Buti
metherinpassi ng,sinceshewasvi si
tingher eand
Oupawasgoi ngtodr opheratt hebusst ation.
Isl
owlygotoutofthecar,andKhantshodi
dtoo.He
cametoourside,andstoodnexttome.Hehadt hi
s
i
nti
midati
nglookthatihaveneverseenbef
ore.

Matshi
diso:iwar
nedyou,
didnti
?.Nowyouhave
thener
vetocomehereafterwhatyoudi
d?,
doyou
haveadeathwishorsomethi
ng?

Me:actuall
yiam heretocl
earmyname, iheardt
hat
youareallblamingmeforOupa'sdeat
h.Ihad
not
hingtodowi ththat
,hewastheonecheatingon
mewi thamar ri
edwoman.IlovedOupasomuch,
heistheonewhodi dmewr ong.

Matshidi
so:bul
lshi
t,youhadyourmendealwit
h
hi
m sinceyoucouldn'tst
omachthefactt
hathe
di
dntwantyouanymor e.

Aunt:okaystopitTshi
di,it
houghtyoucameher
eto
t
ellhernottosetherfootinthatyar
d.Youar
eover
doi
ngi
tnow.

Matshi
diso:noaunt
,shei
sdisr
especti
ngmy
brot
herevenwhenheisnomor e.Thener
veof
comingherewit
honeofyourboyfri
end'
s,how
coul
dyou?

Khantsho:
(cl
ear edhisthroat
)actuall
yiam his
l
awyer ,
icamet orepresenthersi
nceweneedt o
taket
hismattertocour t
.Wear esuingyouallfor
defor
mat i
onofchar act
er,youaredraggi
ngmy
cli
ent
'snamet hroughthemudbasedonf al
se
rumours.
I
nser
t60

Soisuggestyougetyourlawyersr
eadybecause
wheniam donewi t
hallofyou,
youwil
lpayherfor
therestofherl
if
e.Doyouevenknowthatmyclient
tri
edtotakeherownli
feandwokeupinthehospital
becauseofyourbrot
her'
shoeways?.Doyouwant
metoconti
nuet
ell
ingyout
hegr
oundsihavet
o
t
akeyoutocour
t?

Okayididntexpectt
hatone,iwasasshockedas
theThabedi'
s.Isawthem moveuncomfort
ably,
and
iknewKhant shohadthem wher
ehewantedthem.

Aunt:myson,itdoesnthavetogettothatpoi
nt.
Forgi
veherplease,i
tsgri
evetalki
nghere.Sheis
j
usthurt
,wehadnoi deathatyourcl
ientwent
thr
oughallt
hat.Iapologi
seonbehalfofthe
Thabedi
'
s.

Khantsho:iwantt
ohearherapol
ogi
set
omycl
ient
ri
ghtnow.

Okay,Khantshowaspushingitnow.Butiloved
seei
nghimi nactionl
iket
hat,surel
yhechoset he
wrongcareerpath.Imeanthisveryhandsome
doctorwasfight
ingforme,yohineverthoughti
woul
dli
vet
oseet
hisday.

Mat
shi
diso:uhm.
..
iam r
eal
lysorr
yforal
lthehur
tful
wor
dsisaid.Weweref
edwr ongi
nfor
mation.

Khant
sho:soishoul
dtr
ustt
hatmycl
ienti
ssaf
e
now?

Bot
h:absol
utel
y.

Khant
sho:good.MissMokwenai
sther
esomet
hing
youwouldli
ketoaddtot
hat?

Me:huh?
...
ohno.Yousai
dmout
hful
.

Khant
sho:gr
eat
.Weshoul
dbeonourwaynow.

Khant
shoopenedandcl
osedt
hedoorf
orme.Then
wenttohi ssideandgoti nt hedr i
ver'
sseatand
droveoff.Heh, iwasi mpr essedshame.Il oved
Oupasomuchandit hi
nkidi dmybestt orespect
him.Andidi dntf eelbadt hatiwasnotgoi ngt ohi s
burial
,i
twasf orthebest .Hemanagedt ot urnme
i
nt oalaughingst ockevenf rom thedead.Ever yone
knowst hathedi edwhi ledrivingwi t
hanother
woman, sot herei snothingl eftf
ormet ocr yfor.I
justhavetopi ckupt hepi ecesofmybr okenhear t
andmoveon.

WellasforKhant
sho,
heoutdidhi
msel
foverther
e.I
guessitwashiswayofmakinguptome,andi
l
ovedit.
I
nser
t61

Hi
m:sowher
etof
rom her
e?

Me:Kenei
lwe'
shome,
notf
arf
rom her
e.
Hi
m:sl
eepi
ngt
her
e?

Me:no,
ihavemi
ssedsomuchatschool
.

Hi
m:ohokay.

Me:thankyouforwhatyoudi
dforme,
ireal
ly
appr
eciat
eit.

Hi
m:(
smiled)noprobl
em.Wontyouguysneed
f
ood?,
iwast hi
nki
ngishoul
dgetyouguyssome
t
akeawaysbeforewegetther
e.

Me:(
smil
ed)i
'
dlovet
hat
.Ar
eyouf
ami
li
arwi
tht
his
pl
ace?

Him:(
laughed)myparent
'shousei
sin
Vanderbi
jl
park.Dur
ingmyhighschooldays,
iwoul
d
comewit
hmyfri
endsthissi
det
opar
ty.Soyes,
iam
ver
yfami
li
arwi
ththi
splace.

Me:ohwow.

Wedr ovetoKf csi

nceitwastheclosest.Hebought
l
otsoff oodfortwopeople,
from 6piecesfamily
tr
eatwith3packetofzingerwingsasoursi des.To
2normalboxmast er
sand2l it
recoke.Andhesaw
nothi
ngwr ongwi t
hthat,
aswedr oveof ff
rom the
mallt
oKenei lwe'
shome.

Hi
m:iam justgoi
ngtodr
opyouof
f,iwi
llcome
f
etchyouaround5pm.

Me:oh,
wher
ewi
llyougo?

Hi
m:(l
aughed)youdi
dntexpectmet
ochi
llwi
thyou
gi
rl
s,r
ight
?
Me:
(laughed)of
causenot
,butwher
ewi
llyougo.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)maybemeetupwi
thol
dfr
iends.

Me:oh,
okay.

Tjoidontknowwhatwasiexpect i
nghi mtodo
whil
eichil
lwit
hKenei l
we.Ithinkiam becoming
possessi
veofhim al
ready,
andhei snotevenmy
man.Maybeiam justafrai
dt hathemi ghtmeet
someoneliket
hatmodelhewasf uckinglastni
ght
.
Hef
inal
lypar
kedi
nfr
ontofKenei
lwe'
shome.

Me:pl
easewal
kwi
thmei
nsi
de,
iwantyout
omeet
myfri
end.

Hi
m:yeah,
nopr
obl
em.
Het ookthepaperbagsaswewal kedi nsi
dethe
yard,theniknockedonthedoor.Mi nuteslat
erthe
doorwasopenedbyher ,yohyoucoul dhaveseen
herfacewhenshesawKhant sho.Lolidontbl ame
mybestf ri
endshame, iwasjustli
ket hatwheni
fi
rstsawhi m athi
spri
vatepracti
ce.

Me:babe,meetKhant
shoaf
ri
endiwastel
li
ngyou
about
.Khantshot
hisi
smycr
azybestf
ri
end
Kenei
lwe.
I
nser
t62

Khant
sho:
(smi
led)ni
cemeet
ingyou.

Kenei
lwe:wow, imeanisitevenpossi
blefora
bl
ackmant olookthishandsome.Wow, it
sa
pl
easuremeetingyou.
Khantshoandibustedoutwit
hlaught
er.Hehanded
met hepaperbagsandsaidhi
sgoodbyes.Thenhe
walkedout,goti
nhiscaranddroveof
f.

Iwasleftwi
thmycr azybestfri
end,whopull
edme
i
nsideandclosedthedoor .IguessPalesawas
worki
ngdayshi f
ttoday,iplacedthepaperbagson
theki
tchencounter.Thenshepul l
edmet othe
l
ounge,andweshar edacouch.

Her:okay,
outwit
hit
.Iwanti
tal
l,
from t
he
beginni
nggir
l.

Ibustedoutwi t
hl aughter,asiaskedt ochargemy
ol
dphonef i
rstsi
nceineverchar geditaft
erfinding
i
tlastnight
.Thenihadt or emovemyshoes, andi
begannar r
atingthestoryf rom thehowimethi m
duri
ngmySTD' ssagat ol astnight'sevents.
Keneil
wewasi ntears,becauseinevert ol
dher
abouttheSTD' sandhowiwant edt oendmyl if
e.
Her:youwentthr
oughsomuchandnevertol
dme
babe?,icoul
dhavecamet
hatsi
de.Youneededme
Dee.

Me:babeitsokay,i
tsallinthepast.Iwasi nlove
wit
hOupa, andithoughticouldhandl eeverythi
ng
onmyown.Pl usiknewhowyouf eltabouthi m,i
guessyouwer eri
ghtallalong.Iwasjusttoost upi
d
toseeallt
hat.

Her:nobabe,youwer enotstupi
d.Yourloveforhi
m
wasr eal
,iam j
ustgladthatyounevergotvit
al
STD's.Letsf
orgetaboutthesadpast,nowtellme
aboutthehandsomedoct or.HehDee,younever
ceacetoamazeme.Doeshehaveabr othermaybe?

Me:
(bust
edoutwithlaught
er)nope,
heisactual
ly
t
heonlychi
ld.Andli
keisai
dwear ejustf
ri
ends.
Her:
(laughed)keeptel
li
ngyourselft
hat
.Bef
orethe
endofnextweek, youwillbet
ell
ingmeanother
stor
y.

Me:(l
aughed)canwedr
opitpl
ease,
iam hungr
y.
Andheisfetchi
ngmear
ound5pm.

Her
:wellyouaregoi
ngtoeatwhil
esit
ti
ngbet
ween
mythi
ghsgirl
.Howareyouplanni
ngonkeeping
t
hathandsomedoctorwi
ththatmesseduphair
?
I
nser
t63

Loliwasexpectingt hatoneshame.Ionlytooka
boxmasterandsatbet weenherthi
ghs,asshe
begandoingmyhai r.Sheisreal
lygoodwheni t
comest oplai
ti
ng,myhai rwasalwaysupt odat
e
wheniwasst il
lli
vingt hi
sside.Wecontinuedto
gossipabouteverything,sheeventoldmeabout
howSi monhasmovedonwi tht
hatnurse.The
nursehasevenmovedi nwithhi
m, iwasnoteven
shakenaboutt
hosenews.Si
monwasgoodasdead
tome.

☆Khant
sho☆

Af
terdroppingof
fDint
le,iwentbackt
ot hemall
whereimetupwi t
hMal os.If
oundhim wait
ingf
or
meatKf c,
thenij
oinedhim.

Mal
os:it
hinkt
hingswentyourwayboss.

Me:maybe,butyouknowipr ef
erassurance.Soi
wantyout
ovisitthesi
ster
,sheistheloudest.Make
sur
eshegetsthemessage.

Malos:t
hatshoul
dbeeasysi
r.Sowhenar
eyou
l
eaving?
Me:ar
ound5pm,
why?

Mal
os:iwasthinki
ngwecoul dgetsomekasi
braai
meatl
ikeweusedt o.Ihear
daboutthi
spl
acecall
ed
"
Midconershi
sanyama" .

Me:(l
aughed)nothanks,iwi
llwaiti
nhere.Iam
def
init
elynotl
ookingforonenightst
ands.

Him:(
laughed)ohcomeonboss,
whendi
dyoust
art
becomingthisser
ious?

Me:(
laughed)i
tscal
ledgr
owi
ngup,
youshoul
dtr
yit
sometime.

Hi
m:(
laughed)ohisee,i
tmustbet
henewl
adyyou
ar
eaccompanyinghere.
Me:(l
aughed)iwantanupdat
eregar
dingt
hatl
oud
si
sterbytheendoftomorr
ow.Youmaybeexcused.

Hejustbust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er,andwal
kedout.
Justt
henmyphoneranganditwasmyuncle.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:hey,
howdi
ditgo?

Me:ver
ywel
l,
teet
hlessdogsi
fyouaskme.

Hi
m:good,
becausewehaveagi
gthi
sfr
iday.

Me:what
?,whysosoon?

Him:mysour
cethi
nksthattheRussianssuspect
ed
foulpl
ayont
hel
astgi
g, sotheyhavebeen
changi
ngdat
esoft
heirstone'
sarri
vals.
Me:i
sitsaf
ethough,
doyout
hinkt
hesquadwi
llbe
r
eadyonfri
day?

Him:hopeful
ly.Wecantmi
sst
hisone,
those
comingstonesarewort
h30mil
li
oninrands.
I
nser
t64

Me:What
?,haveyoubr
ief
edt
heguysyet
.

Hi
m:ical
ledthemeet i
ngf
ort
onight
,idontwor
ry
muchaboutyou.Iknowyouwil
lbereadyby
t
omorr
ow.

Me:yessi
r,sendmet
hecoor
dinat
est
oni
ght
.

Hi
m:al
ri
ght
.
Ihungup, thenir ememberedt hatipromi sedmy
mom t hatiwoul dfet
chMavi stomor row.Ei shi
reall
ydontneedahel per
,butmymom i nsists.I
decidedtot extoneofmydr iver'
st helocationof
Mavi s,
sot hatshecanbef etchedt omor r
ow.I ts
Wednesday, soionlyhavetomor rowt opr eparefor
Friday'
sgig.

☆Pusel
etso☆

Sinceiwasoff,ideci
dedtogodosomeshoppi
ng
earl
yinthemor ni
ng.My15yearol
dniecewas
vi
siti
ng,soihadtogetsomegoodiesf
orhersi
nce
shewasl eavi
ngtomorrow.
Ifi
nall
yar ri
vedhome, parkedmycarandwal ked
str
aighttot heki
tchen.Mymanmustbeoutor
something, si
ncehisvanwasnother e.soishout ed
formyni eceandt herewasnor esponse.Justwhen
iwasaboutt opasstheloungeisawhercr yi
ngon
thecouch, anditseemedl i
keshewasbl eedi
ng
downt here.Iquickl
yrushedtoher,shequi ckly
huggedmeti
ghtwhil
ecryi
nghyster
ical
ly.Mi
nut
es
l
aterwebr
okethehugandilookedather.

Me:babywhatswrong?
,youknowyoucant
alkt
o
me.Isi
ttheper
iods?

Her:no,
hef or
cedhimsel
fonme.It
oldhi
mtost
op
buthedidntli
stent
ome.

Me:okwai
t,who?

Her:yourman.Auntyiwanttogohomenow,he
eventhreat
enedmenott osayanyt
hingt
oyouor
anyoneelse.I
thur
tsalotdownther
e.

Iwasext r
emelyangr
ybecauseiknewmyni ece,i
j
ustknewt hatshewasntl
ying.Iqui
ckl
yhelpedher
up,wegoti nherr
oom asshechangedintoasi mple
dress.Thenpackedal
lherclot
hesinherbags,we
l
ockedt
hehouseandgoti
nmycar
.Idr
oveof
fto
t
hedoct
or.

Me:babydoyout
rustme?

Her
:yes.

Me:itwasntyourf
aul
tokay,
andiam goi
ngt
omake
sur
et hathepaysf
orwhathedi
dtoyou.

Wef i
nal
lyar
ri
vedatthedoctor
,andwewer
e
at
tendedqui
ckl
ysincether
ewasnoqueue.
I
nser
t65

Whent hedoctorwasdoneexami ningher, heasked

total
ktomepr i
vatel
y.Thenmyni ecewaitedf orme
outsi
de,thedoctortoldmeaboutgetting
counsell
ingformyni eceandopeningacasef orthe
perpet
rator
.Hegavemehermedi cations,ithanked
him andwal
kedout.Wegotinthecar,asitookher
home.Myni ecei
sli
vingwit
hmymot hersi
nceher
motherwhoi smysist
erdi
edyearsagoandher
fat
hermarri
edanotherwoman.Iknowf orsuret
hat
iam heronl
yhope,andihadtodorightbyher.

30mi nut
eslaterwear ri
vedinShapevil
leand
par
kedont hegat e.Mymot herwassitt
ingoutsi
de
si
ppingonhert ea,myni ecewal
kedinwi t
hherbags
shegreetedmymot herandwalkedinsi
de.Iwasleft
wit
hmymot herout si
de.

Her
:it
houghtyouwi
llbebr
ingi
nghert
omor
row.

Me:t
hatwasbefor
ethatgoodf
ornot
hingmanof
mi
ne,for
cedhi
mselfonher.

Mymom qui
ckl
yst
oodup,
wit
hshockal
loverher
f
ace.
Her:heneedstoroti
njai
l,
whatki
ndofamonst
er
di
dyougeti nvol
vewit
hPuse?

Me:itsmyfaul
tma,iknewwhatkindofamonst
er
hewaswhenigotinrelat
ionshi
pwit
hhim.Ij
ust
thoughthewoul
dlovemebet t
er.

Her:idontcar
ewhatyoudo, butmakesureyoudo
ri
ghtbyyourniece.DontdisappointmePuselet
so,
Lerat
o'sli
femightneverbethesameagai n.Sheis
l
ookingupt oyou,pl
easeshifttheloveyouhavefor
thatmananddot herightt
hing.

Me:iwi
llma.

IhandedherLer ato'smedicati
on,thenigoti
nmy
caranddr oveoff.Somuchwasr unni
nginmyhead,
al
liknewwast hatamonst erwil
lalwaysbea
monst er
.Nomat t
erhowmuchyoucanl oveand
careforhim,itwillneverbeenough.
Idrovepastt hischemi stiknow, t
hendrovehome.I
sawhisvanpar kedinsidetheyard,andiknewhe
washome.Idr ovei nandpar kedmycar .Theni
walkedinsidet hehousel ookingallcal
m and
col
lected.Ifoundhi mi nthekitchenmakinga
sandwich,hel ookeduponmeandsmi led.

Hi
m:wher
edi
dyouguysgo?
I
nser
t66

Me:it
ookLer
atohome,
shewasnotf
eel
ingwel
l
.

Hi
m:oh,
ihopesheget
sbet
ter
.

Me:yesshewi
ll
.Goandsi
tint
hel
ounge,
iwi
ll
makeusfood.
Hekissedmycheek, t
henwentt ot
helounge.I
madeusf oodanddr inks,theniwenttojoinhimin
thel
oungewi thourfood.Weat eup,ashet oldme
abouthisnewj ob.hewassounbot her
edl i
keatrue
monsterthathewas.Ij ustcouldn'
tunderstandwhy
hewouldbet r
aymel ikethat.

Minut
eslat
erhebegansweat
ingandmadesome
ai
rforhi
mselfusi
nganewspaper
.

Me:youdontl
ooksogoodbabe.

Hi
m:i
tsget
ti
ngver
yhoti
nher
e,ori
sitme?

Me:iam sur
eitsonl
yyouhoney,andthisisonl
ythe
begi
nni
ng.Yourjoi
nsareabouttofai
ltoo,
andyou
wontbeabletomovefr
om thatcouch.

Hecur
seashet
ri
edt
omovebutf
ellont
hef
loor
,he
t
urnedandf
acedme.

Hi
m:whywoul
dyoudot
hatt
ome?

Me:your apedmynieceandactallunbothered
aboutit
.Howcoul dyoubet
raymel i
ket hat
?,sheis
justababyman.Whatkindofamonst erareyou?,i
keptyourdarkdeepsecr
etSimon.Butyoust il
ldo
mel i
kethat?(
bet
weenmyt ears)

Him:Puse,babyicanexplai
n.Pl
easedontl
eaveme
herel
iket
his,iam beggi
ngyou.

Me:it
houghtyout
rul
ylovedme,
butiguessyouar
e
j
ustsi
ck.

Ifir
stl
ytookhisphonefrom t
hetabl
e,andwalkedto
thebedroom asipackedallmyclot
hes.Iwasjust
stupidtot
hinkicoul
dchangehim andhavehim al
l
tomysel
f.
iguessherwife'stearsdidt
his,
Iam
bei
ngpunishedforknowingt hetr
uthandkeepi
ngi
t
tomysel
f,fort
hesakeofl ove.
Wheniwasdoneit ookmybagsandwal kedtomy
car,asiloadedthem int
heboot.Thenilockedthe
houseasidr oveofftomymot her'
shouse,hecan
roti
nt hereidontevencare.Whil
eiwasont heway
idecidedtohidemynumber sandmadeacal l
.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:pr
ivat
ecal
lhel
l
o?

Me:uhm. .
.hey.It
houghtyoushouldknowt
hatyour
motherdidntdiefr
om hersi
ckness,Si
monkicked
herunt
ilshecouldn'tbr
eat
hanymor e
I
nser
t67

Thenihungupt hephone.Iknowitwascruelofme
tokeepthetr
uth,butiwasawomani nlove.I
thoughtiwasbuil
dingmyselfahome,notknowing
t
hatiwasprotecti
ngamonstert
hatt
urnedt
or ape
myniece.Il
earnedint
hehar
destwaypossi
ble.

Ijustcoul dn'tstopcr yingafterrecievi

ngt hecal l
from theunknown.I twaspossi blethatSi mon
mi ghthavedi dit,ij
ustcoul dn'tunderst andwhyhe
woul ddot hattomymom.Imeanshewasal ready
helplessandweak, thet houghtofhi m ki ckingheris
whatbr eaksmyhear tmor e.Kenei l
wej ustgaveme
thistightandmostcomf orti
nghugever .Justt hen
therewasaknockont hedoor ,Keneil
wewentt o
checkoni twhi leiwi pedmyt ears.secondsl ater
shecamebackwi thKhant sho.Iwasso
embar r
assed, becausehehasseenal otofmywor st
days.If eltli
kei twasenough, hewoul dj usttakeme
ast hischickwi thendl esspr oblems.Imeanhej ust
foughtf ormehour sago, andnowt her e'sthisone
too.Yohiwoul dntbl amemei fhewoul ddi tchme,
whenwegett oPr etori
a.
Hefinal
lysatnextt
ome,andt ookmyhand.Ij
ust
coul
dn'tlookathi
m,iam sur
eiwasamessf rom al
l
thecryi
ng.
Him:everyt
hingwil
lbefi
nebabe,
iwillmakesur
eof
i
t.Wear einthi
stoget
her
,andiam notgoi
ng
anywhere.Okay?

Islowlylookedathi m,andhewasser ious.Idont

evenknowwher eKeneil
wedi sappearedt o,t
he
comf ortthatcamef rom hi
svoi cesai
di tall
.Andi
surrenderedt ohim,iwasntsur eifi
twast hebest
decision.Butsof ari
tseemedl i
keone,iguessiwas
rel
ayingt oamanyetagai n.Butthisti
me, iwas
goingt oprotectmyhear tatallcost
.Ichoset o
beli
evei nhim, hehasprovent oreall
ycar eabout
me.

Soijustnoddedinagreement,asiwipedmyt ears.
Whenicheckedthetimei twasexactly5pm, iguess
i
twast i
met ogo.Idi
dntevenf eell
iketel
li
nghi m
whyi wascryi
ng,yohmypr oblemscanbet i
ring
shame.Iexcusedmysel fsi
nceiwant edtouset he
bathr
oom, andif
oundmyf ri
endnextt ot
he
bat
hroom.
I
nser
t68

andcl
osedt
hedoor
.

Her:youar egoingtowasht hatfaceandf i

xit.You
arenotgoi ngtolookli
keyourpr oblemsgi r
l,iknow
i
thur t
sandyouar esti
llgoingthroughthemost .But
ti
mewai tsf ornoone,thatguyi ntheloungecar es
aboutyouandyouar egoi ngtomeethi m halfway
byfixi
ngyour self
.Youneedt ostopfeeli
ngsor ryfor
yourself
,selfpit
yneverhel pedanyone.ijustfixed
yourhair,nowf i
xthatprettyfaceofyoursandgo
getyourman.

Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
aughoutl
oud.
Whenicountmybl essi
ngs,icountKenei
lwetwice.
Theonlypersonwhonevergaveuponme, no
matterhowmanytimesimessedupordi sagreed
wit
hher .Mydayonethisone.
Ismi
led,
asibeganwashi
ngmyface.Iknewshe
wasr
ight,Si
monwil
lri
pwhathesowoneday.

Wheniwasdonef i
xingmyf aceil
ookedat
Keneil
we,herlooknjesaidi
tall
.Webot hwalked
backtothelounge,andfoundhim busywit
hhi s
phone.Whenhel ookeduponme, aishameiknew
thatiwaslooki
ngbet t
er.
Wefinal
lysai
dourgoodbyesandwal
kedout
.We
goti
nhiscaranddroveoff
.

☆Khant
sho☆

Dint
lewasr eall
ybeaut i
ful
,ij
ustcoul dn'
tkeepmy
eyesoffher.Ikeptsteali
ngglancesatherandshe
wouldjustsmile.Itbrokemyhear tseeinghercry
earl
ier
,butididntwantt opushit.Ithinkshewil
ltel
l
mewhenshei sr eady,ij
usthopesheknowst hati
gother.
Forachangeshewasi
nchar
geofmypl
ayl
ist
,i
not
icedt
hatwebot
hlovedEmi
nem.

Me:yougood?

Her
:(
smi
led)iam good,
thankyou.

Me:soyouar
emovi
ngoutt
omor
row?

Her
:(
smi
led)youdontwantmet
omoveout
?

Me:(smi l
ed)pl
ease.Youcanonl
yleavei
fiam not
tr
eatingyouwell
,isweariwontf
orceyoutodo
anythingyoudontwanttodo.Pl
usyouhaveal
otof
catchinguptodoatschool,
movingupanddown
mightdistur
byou.

Her:
(l
aughed)it
sfine,
iwi
llst
ay.Youdi
dnthavet
o
pr
eparethatspeech.
Me:
(laughed)ohwow,
aspeechyousay.

Her
:(
laughed)yep.
I
nser
t69

Wehadt hi
samazingandconnect i
ngconver
sati
on
forachange.Wewerereal
lygett
ingsomewhere,
andshewassl owl
ywarmingupt ome.Iguessi
havebeganplayi
ngmycardsright.
Ther
idewassosmoot
h,andiwasl
ovi
ngever
y
momentofi
t.

She'
sonmydi
ckcauseIspi
tbet
tert
hanyou
Whatyouexpecthert
odo?Howyouexpecthert
o
acti
nthesack
Whenshe'scl
osi
nghereyes,f
ant
asi
zingofdi
ggi
ng
hernai
lsi
nmybacktothistr
ack
2hour
sl at
erwear
ri
vedinPret
ori
a,wegrabbed
sometakeawaysf
rom spur
.Thendrovest
raight
home.
Minuteslaterwear ri
vedandwal kedinside.Iguess
wewer ebot htired,becausewewentt oourrooms
tofr
eshenupf irst.Thenmetbackatt hekitchen,
whereweat eupwhi l
ehavi ngalightandseduct i
ve
conversati
on.Lolokay, i
twasseduct ivebecauseof
thered,si
lkyandshor tgownshewaswear i
ng.Lord
knowsiwast r
yingsohar dt oconcentrate,
butiwas
fai
li
ng.Ithinkshewasenj oyingeverymomentofi t
,
becauseshekeptonsmi l
ingandaski ngifiwas
okay.Lolwel lDintleisawt hatonebabe.

Amonthlater
,iwasbackatschoolandiwasst il
l
l
ivi
ngwithKhantsho.Imustsaymyl i
fewasgetti
ng
backt
onormalandiwasl ovingthepr ogr
ess.
AmandaandTshol owereveryhelpfulwhenitcame
tomystudi
es,si
ncewewer eappr oachingexams
ti
mesoon.Thatsameweekwecamebackf rom
vaal,Khant shohadt hissuddent riptocapet own.
Hecamebackaweekl aterwithsomebr uiseson
hisface.Henevercar edt oexplain,andial sodi dnt
ask.Al t
houghiwasver ymuchwor r
ied,butij ust
didntwantt onaghim.Wehavegot t
ensocl oset hat
hewoul dtakemeoutf ordinnersandmovi esl i
ke
couplesdo.Ievenj ogwi thhi m everymor ning,he
hast hisinhousef ull
yequi ppedgym.Soihave
becomehi sgym par tner,imustsayiam l ovingt he
resultsalready.From 38t o36,aishameiwas
getti
ngt here.Ilovedhowhewoul dt reatmel ikea
woman, notl i
keachild.Hewoul dengagemei n
everything,li
kewewer eequals.
I
nser
t70

Hebr ingsoutthebesti
nme, andiwasgr atefulf or
that.Honestl
yiwasf ai
li
ngdeepl yfortheguy, ijust
hopedt hatiwasnotfall
ingal
one.Iwasenj oying
everymomentwi t
hhim,andiwasnotr egrett
ing
stayingwithhim.Hehadahel percal l
edMavi s, a
veryhumbl ewomani nherearlyfif
ties.Wegot
alongsowel l
,andthatmadet hingseasyf orar ound
t
hehouse.

Itwasanothercol
dSat ur
daynight,wedecidedto
stayindoorsandrentsomemovi es.Wegoti n
blanketaswesharedacouch.wewat chedthi
s
romancemovi ecal
led"Aft
er"
.

Hi
m:ar
eyouwar
m?

Me:
(smi
led)
yes,
areyou?

Hi
m:(l
aughed)notr
eal
ly,
ithi
nkineedanext
ra
bl
anket
.

Me:
(l
aughed)goandf
etchi
t.

Hejustbustedoutwithlaught
er,andpi
ckedmeup
br
idalst
yle.Iwasgiggleli
kealit
tl
egir
l,asher
an
upstai
rswi t
hme.Iwasnotevensur pri
sed,itwas
bondt ohappenwi ththewaywebehavedar ound
eachot herl
ately.Wegotinhisbedroom,thenhe
placedmedowngr i
ppingmyf acebet
weenhi s
handsandpul l
edmet ohim.Themomentourl ips
touched,everyt
hingfeltr
ight
.Iknewiwant edhim
mor ethananything.

Iwr appedmyhandar oundhi sneck, drawinghi m

closer.Ourki ssesgotdeeper ,aswehel pedeach
otherof fourclothes.Hegui dedmybacksot hati
canbeont heedgeoft hebed, t
henhekneel edin
fr
ontme.Hespr edmyl egssl i
ghtly,
asif el
this
war ml i
psonmycooki e.Het ookmyswal l
enclit
betweenhi sli
ps, asheat eithardandf aster.I
couldn'thelpbutmoanoutl oud, myonehandwas
ont hesheet swhi let
heot heronewasonhi shead.
Pushi nghi m deeperanddeeper .Hejustwental l
wildlyonmycooki ethathedi dnthaveanymer cy
oni t,
justwheniwasaboutt ocum.Hepushedme
tolieacr ossthesheet s, andmovedupt ojoinme.
Hecont inuedt or unhisl ipsandt ouguesal ongmy
body,
andhewashar
dert
hanever
.

Wekissedsodeepl
yasourhandsranal
loverour
bodi
es.Ourhi
psrockedasoneasheposit
ioned
hi
mselfonmycookieentr
anceandent
eredme
swif
tl
y
I
nser
t71

Hel etoutadeepgr oan,asmycooki ewal ls

welcomedhi m slowly.Hebeganmovi nginandout
mesl owlybutdeeply.Hepul l
edhimsel fuponhi s
kneesandbegant hrust
ingi nt
omemor est eadil
y.
Nothi ngelsemat ter
edatt hatmoment ,wewer e
creatingourl i
tt
lebondandconnect i
on.Ourbodi es
movedasoneef f
ortl
essly,asiscreamedouthi s
name.I twassomet hingihaveneverf eltbefore,he
wast akinghi sti
mepl easuringme.It hinkhi s
missi onwast oseemecum count lesstimes, before
hecoul dact ual
lycum.Ibegant otightenar ound
him, asifeltsomuchpl easuretakingovermybody.
Hesl ippedoutofme, ashesl owlypul l
edmeof fthe
bed.Het ur
nedmear oundandmademehol don
thebedroom couch,ashesl ammedi nt
omef rom
theback.Icri
edoutl oudashecont inuedtothrust
i
nandoutofmef ast
erandf aster
.Hisonehand
reachedmycl i
t,r
ubbi ngi
twiththesamemovement
hewast hrust
ing.Sexneverf el
tsogoodandwi ld,
hejustkeptonCur si
ngeverychancehegot .Iknew
hewascl osetooashedeepenedhi sstrokes,i
couldn'
tholdbackanymor e.Ijustcamebef orehim
andhef uckedmet hroughoutmycl i
maxand
rel
easemi nut
esaf t
er.

Hesl owl yslippedoutofme, andhel pedmemovet o

theshowerwi thhim.Whenwegoti ntheshower ,he
turnedt hewar m wat eronandpi ckedmeup.
Hol dingmemi dair
,asiwr appedmyl egsar oundhis
wai st.I
tfeltultrasexywi t
ht hewat ercomi ngdown
aroundt hebot hofus.Hepushedhi shar derect
ed
shaf tinmywetcooki e,gi
vingi ttomesl owlyand
passi onately.Hewast aki
ngmet otheplacesihave
neverbeenbef ore,hewasdef initel
ythel or
di nt
his
sexgame.It houghtihavef el tthebest ,
butt hi
sone
wasbeyond.Whenhefinall
yincr
easedhis
movementswejustl
ostitandcamet oget
her
.
Wefi
nall
yhadanor malshower
,whi
leki
ssi
nghere
andt
here.Whenwewer edonewedri
edourbodi
es
andwentstr
aightt
obed.

☆Khant
sho☆

Thenextmorni
ngifel
tli
keiwasdreami
ng,
wheni
sawhernakedbodynexttomine.
I
nser
t72

Ipull
edhermor eclosert
ome, asiranmyhandsall
overherbody.Lookingatherbeauti
fulsl
eepi
ng
face,
iknewt hatihadfoundeveryt
hingihavebeen
l
ookingfor.
Sheslowlyopenedhereyes,andsmil
ed.Shet r
ied
tosaysomet hi
ngbutij
ustsmashedmyl ipsi
nt o
hers.Wekissedsolovi
ngl
yandpassionatel
y.Ijust
couldn'
tgetenoughofherti
ghtcooki
e,if
eltl
ikei
hadt
ohavei
tever
ysecond.
Il
ayedback, asimadehersitontopofme.Her
bodytensedupi mmedi
atel
y,andshelookeddown.
Ij
ustknewt hatshewasn'
tfamil
iarwi
ththi
skindof
posi
ti
on.

Me:babyl ookatme, youdonthavefeel

embar r
assed.Youar emywomannow, andweare
goingtolearnt
ogether.Iam sureiam alsogoi
ngt
o
l
ear nal
otfrom you.Sorelaxyourbody,anduse
yourhandt osl
iphimi n.

Shesmi l
ed,anddi
dasshewast ol
d.Damn,t he
minuteifel
tthewar
mthofhercookieif
eltl
ike
burst
ingapart.

Me:nowyouaregoi
ngt omoveonl
yyourwai
st,
as
youspel
lCOCONUT.Iswearyouar
egoingt
ofeel
thesamemagiciwi
llbefeel
i
ngmylove.
Shegavemet hi
swi destsmi l
e,asshebegan
spel
lingthatwor dwi t
hherhi psandicoul dn'thel
p
butletoutadeepgr oan.Shesl owl yincreasedher
movement s,asshemast eredt hatwor dandiknew
wehavewon.Shewoul dmoansol oud, andher
moanswer eli
keasweetmel odyi nmyear s.Iknew
ourconnect i
onandbondwasget t
ingst r
ongernow,
andi wasnotr egret
tingfall
ingf orthiswoman.I t
wast hestrangestsensat i
on,somet hingthatwent
beyondanynor malsexihaveeverhadbef ore.She
wassuddenl ymovi ngl i
keapr o, andiknewt hather
confidencehasgr ownaswel l.Shegavei ttomeso
good, t
hathermoanscompet edwi thmygr oans
andwecameatonce.
I
nser
t73

Shefi
nal
lymovedoffmeslowly,andlayednextt o
meassheplacedherheadonmychest .Icouldn'
t
hel
pbutrunmyhandsalloverherbeautifult
hick
body.
Me:il
oveyouDee,andidontwanttostop.Maybeit
i
stoosoonforyoutofal
linl
oveagain,
butithought
youshoul
dknowthatitr
ulyl
oveyou.

Shequi
cklysatupandlookedatme,
andsatupt
oo.
Shesmil
edandl ookeddown.

Her
:uhm,
ihaveact
ual
lyf
all
eni
nlovewi
thyout
oo.

Myhear tdancedwit
hjoy,
aft
erheari
nghersayt
hat
.
Webr i
eflyki
ssed,
thenhel
dherfacebet
weenmy
hands.

Hi
m:soyouar
eof
fi
cial
lymi
nebabe?

Her
:(l
aughed)iam of
fi
cial
lyyour
sbabe.

Weki
ssedagai
nandagai
n,wi
thanot
herr
ound
of
cause.
Si
ncei
twassunday,
wedeci
dedt
ospendourday
i
ndoor
syetagai
n.
Weshower edanddr essedwar m,theweatherwas
sti
llnotsowel coming.Wewentdownst air
stomake
breakfasttogether,
whi l
elist
eni
ngt omusic.I
t
seemedl ikeMavi shadal r
eadycleanedthehouse
andwentt ochurch.Shedoesntcookf orus,she
onlycleansanddoesl aundry.
Forachangewewer enotli
steni
ngtoEmi nem,We
wer econnecti
ngwi thherphonesowewer e
l
isteningtoBill
ieEil
ish.Ithi
nkitwasthelove
maki ngwehad, wewant edsongsthatconnect
ed
withourcur r
entinti
mat emood.Ijustlovedbei
ng
aroundt hi
swar m heartedandbeautif
ulwomanof
mine, yesshewasmi ney'al
l.

Her
:ar
ewer
eal
lygoi
ngt
oeatal
lthesef
ood?

Me:
(l
aughed)wel
lbl
ameyour
sel
fma'
am,
forr
idi
ng
t
hef
oodoutofme.

Shebust edoutwi t
hl aughter,
asweat ef rom the
ki
tchencount ernotar oundthekitchent abl e.Those
pastweeksimanagedt of i
ndoutwhatmadeher
crythatdayi nVaal,Mal osgotoni t.unfor t
unately
wef oundthest epfather'
sbodyal readyr otten.I
di
dntevent ellherthatihadmymenvi sither
stepfat
her,iwasntr eadytotellheraboutmyot her
l
ife.Butiwilltel
lhersoon, si
ncet herewi llbemor e
dangerousgi gscomi ngup.
I
nser
t74

ijusthopeherl
oveformewontchangeonceshe
l
earnsaboutmyotherli
fe.

Her
:what
staki
ngyouawayf
rom me?

Me:
(smiled)nothi
ngandnoonecantakemeaway
f
rom you.Itwi
llhavet
obedeat
h,butiwil
lhavet
o
f
ighti
tfi
rst
.

Her
:(bust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er)i
fyousaysobabe.

Iwal
kedar oundt
hekit
chencounter,
toherside.
Thenturnedhert
olookatme, asist
oodbetween
hert
highsandheldherface.

Me:il
oveyousomuchbabe,
inevert
houghti
woul
dloveagai
nthi
smuch.

Her
:agai
n?

Me:uhm, yes.Iwasina5year sol

drel
ati
onshi
pand
engagedfor3mont hs.butt
hingsdi
dntgoas
planned.

Shesuddenl
ymoveduncomf
ort
abl
yandl
ooked
down.

Her
:oh,
okay.

Me:babe,lookatme.Youhavenot hi
ngtoworry
about,i
tsalli
nthepast.Youaremypresentand
fut
ure,youareeveryt
hingiwantandmore.Rest
assuredmyl ove.

Shesmil
ed,
asourl
ipsmetandimovedhert
othe
l
oungeaswehadourli
tt
lepar
tyont
hepuff
ycarpet
.
Whenwewer ebothnaked,
ilayedonthecarpetas
shegotontopofmebutlookingawayfrom me.We
weretaki
ngthe69rout
ebaby.

Hercooki
eli
nedupwi t
hmymout h,asshewent
downonme.Themi nuteshet ookmyent i
reshaft
i
nherwarm mouth,ij
ustlosti
t.Imadeherpay
thr
oughhercooki
e,asituggedhercli
twithmylips.
Causi
ngherlegst
ospreadsl i
ghtl
y,asibeganto
teasehercl i
twiththetipofmyt ougue.Yeeeri
causedhert ospeeduphermot ionsonmyshaf t
.I
coul dn'thel pbutgroani nhercookie,bothourhips
begangr indingagainsteachother '
sfaces.Nothi
ng
feltbet terthanthismoment ,
wewer einour
par adiseandidi dntwantust ocomeback.ButThe
feelingwast oogoodt hatcausedherl egsto
trembl e, andiknewwewer ebothcl osetothe
finishingl ine.Oneenoughsuct ionandpr essure,we
j
ustr eleasedi neachot her
'smout hs.

I
'
vebeenwat
chi
n'youf
orsomet
ime
Can'
tst
opst
ari
n'att
hoseoceaneyes
Bur
ningci
ti
esandnapal
m ski
es
Fi
ft
eenf
lar
esi
nsi
det
hoseoceaneye
I
nser
t75

Mondaymor ni
ngiwasfeel
ingsoal
ive.Khant
sho
wasgett
ingreadyf
orwork,
andiwasget t
ingready
f
orschool.Oneweekt
omyexams, and2weekst o
mybi rthday.Iwasal r
eadyfeeli
ngsoexci ted,my
l
ifewasf i
nall
ymaki ngsense.Iwor emybl ack
bodysui t,
yell
owandbl ackshor tplai
dskir
twi t
hmy
blackai rfor
ceone.Ihadchangedf r
om Keneil
we's
hairstyletoabr ai
dedblondtwol ine.Iwasr i
ding
withhim ever ymorningsi
ncehi spr i
vat
epr act
ice
wasnotf arfrom myschool,butaf t
erschooli
uberedhomesi nceiknockof fbeforehim.But
somedayswer i
debackhomet ogether
,wheni
will
ingt owaitforhi
m.

Wef i
nall
ygotdownstairs,wher ewef oundMavi
s
busycleari
ngthehouse.Wegr eet
edherandwalked
tothekit
chentomakebr eakfast.Wehavemadei t
ourtr
aditi
ontomakebr eakf asttoget
her,andwe
havealotoffunwhil
edoi ngi t
.Justthenmyphone
rang,anditwasKeneil
we.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:l
oveofmyl
if
e.
Khantshost
oleagl
anceatme,
andsmi
ledashe
shookhishead.

Her
:baby,
guesswhogotaj
ob?

Me:(
screaming)wowcongr
atul
ati
onsmyl
ove,
iam
sohappyforyou.Wher
e?

Her
:welliwil
lbewor
kingasar
ecept
ioni
stwher
e
Kat
lehoworks.

Me:mmmh,
Kat
lehone.

Her
:(l
aughed)
justst
opi
tokay,youweresoquieton
what
sappthewholeweekend.Whathappened?

Me:
(l
aughed)wel
ltheweat
herwasnotso
wel
comingthi
ssi
de,soineededt
okeepwar
m.
Khantshoj
ustbustedoutwit
hlaught
er,
causi
ng
Keneil
wetoscream herl
ungsoutontheot
hersi
de
oftheli
ne.

Her:(bust
edoutwithlaught
er)nowthatsmybest
fr
iend,iam sohappyforyouguys.Sotoni
ghtyou
aretoWhat sAppmeal lt
hedick-
nat
iondet
ail
s,
becauseiheardthatheiswit
hyounow.

Me:
(bust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er)youar
esosi
ck.Bye.

Ihungupaft
erheari
ngherlaugh,
Khant
showas
evendonewit
hbreakfast
.Shamemybaby,wesat
aroundt
hetabl
easwebegant oeat.

Him:youlooksupersexyi
nthatout
fi
tmyl
ove,
ifeel
l
ikehavi
ngyour i
ghtherer
ightnow.
I
nser
t76
Me:(
laughed)andiwouldntmindhavi
ngthose
st
rongarmsal lovermynakedbodyri
ghtnow.

Webothbust
edoutwit
hlaught
er,
aswecontinued
toeat
.Whenweweredoneeati
ng,wetookour
thi
ngsandwal
kedtohi
scar.Wegotinanddrove
off
.

☆Khant
sho☆

Aft
erdr oppingof fmywoman, idrovestraighttomy
pri
vatepr acti
ce.Whenigott ot heparkinglot,iwas
metbymyuncl e's2019bl ackJeepGr andCher okee.
Ij
ustcoul dn'tmisshisnumberpl at
e,igotof fmy
carandwal kedinsi
de.Hewasi ndeedwai tingfor
meatt her ecepti
onar ea.Igreet edmyr eceptioni
st,
andfistbumpedmyuncl easwewal kedt omy
off
ice.Thenweset tl
eddown.
Him:sohowar
eyou?
,imeanicanseet
hatyouar
e
happy.

Me:
(l
aughed)iam gl
adt
hatyounot
iceduncl
e,she
t
aki
ngagoodcar eofmeatal
langl
es.

Him:(
laughed)dontyoudar
egi
vemeyouri
nbed
detai
lspl
ease.

Me:(
bustedoutwit
hlaught
er)iwoul
dntt
ry.Sowhat
br
ingsyouhere?

Hi
m:sot
her
esagi
g,andineedyouf
oramont
h.

Me:ohcomeonuncle,amonthsoqui
ckly?.Wejust
f
oughtfort
hose30mill
ionst
ones,
andIjustfound
l
ove.Pl
usshedoesntknowaboutmyotherli
fe.
Him:welli
tshight
imeyout ol
dher,
tosaveasal
l
thecuri
osi
ty.Youwil
lalsobeabl
etoknowifshei
s
yourri
deordieornot.

Me:ei
shidontwantt
oscar
eherof
f,wej
ustf
ound
eachot
her
.

Him:wellyouaremyonlytr ust
eddoctorKhantsho,
andyouknowt hatil
ikekeepingmyci r
clesmall.
Youalsoknowhowdanger ousitget
safterst
eali
ng
di
amond' sorgunsfr
om thoseRussians,soicant
gotoagi gwit
houtastandbydoct or
.

Me:okayokayigetyourpoi
nt,
sowhenar
ewe
l
eavi
ng?

Hi
m:nextmont
h,i
twi
llgi
veusenought
imet
o
pr
epar
e.
Me:okayt
hen.

Him:ihopesheremainswithyout
hroughi
tall
.It
seemslikeyouarer
eall
ytakenbyher,
iwil
lbein
touch.

Hefinall
ywalkedout
,andiwasl
eftt
hinki
ngabout
howDi ntl
ewil
ltaket
henewsofmebeinga
gangsterdoct
or.
I
nser
t77

Ideci
dedt
otextherbef
oreicoul
dcal
linmyf
ir
st
pati
ent
.

"Ij
ustcantst
opt
hinki
ngaboutyoumyl
ove"sentt
o
bae.

Thenialar
tedmyr
ecept
ioni
stt
osendi
nthef
ir
st
pati
ent
.
Whenigott oschool ,
iwentstrai
ghttoclass.I
foundmycr azyfri
endsalreadyseated,iwinkedat
them andsataroundmydesk.Wi ththi
snewsi zeof
mybody, myconf i
dencewasonanot herlevel.Just
aftermylect
urewal kedi
n,myphonevi brat edandi t
wasamessagef rom myman.Ir eall
ycoul dntreply,
ijustsmil
edandf ocusedinclass.

Lunchtime,myf ri
endswant edust ogogetbunny
chows.Butihadbet terplans,theyleftaloneasi
wenttoKfc.Ibought2sweetchi l
lit
wistersmedium
mealsand8dunkedwi ngs.Theniwal kedtomy
man'spracti
ce.Wheniwal kedinigr eetedthe
recept
ioni
standpassedsi nceshewasont he
phone.Therewasnoqueue, soIknockedonhi s
offi
cedoorwi t
hnor esponse.iknowiwasnt
supposeto,sincehemi ghtbeat t
endingapat i
ent.
Butifoundmysel fpushingt hedoor,andboyigot
whatiwasl ookingforhey.Ishoul dhavej ustt
urned
backwhenhewasnotr espondi ng.Ifoundhim
standi
ngnextt ohisdeskwi thhismemberpoi nti
ng
nort
h,whil
ethiscolour
edgi rlwasonhi sdeskwit
h
herl
egswideopen.Shewasbusyhel pi
nghersel
f,
j
ustthenifel
ttherecepti
onistbehindme.She
wantedtosaysomet hi
ngbutqui cklyt
urnedback,
si
nceihavealreadyspoil
tthepar t
y.

☆Khant
sho☆

WhenDi nt
legoti nmyof fice,ibecamedumbst r
uck.
Icoul dn'tmovef rom wher eiwasst anding,iguessi
didntexpectt oseeher .Noti nthatsneakyway, but
thef earofl osingheri swhatdumbst ruckedme.
Shequi ckl
yr anoutwi t
ht hepaperbagshewas
holding, ij
ustf ixedmymemberandr anaf t
erher .
Shewasntt oof ast,becauseicaughtupwi thher
ri
ghti nt hepar kinglotandhel dherar m.Tearswer e
alreadyf all
ingof fherface, shedi dntevenhavet he
powert ofightme.Shej ustl etgooft hepaperbag
shewashol ding, andcriedi nmyar ms.
I
nser
t78
knowi
ngnjet
hatshewascr
yingbecauseofme,
ki
ll
edme.
Onceshewascalm,that
swhenisawLucy
approachi
ngusandiknewshewasgoi
ngtomake
thi
ngsworseforme.
Dint
lequi
ckl
ypull
edoutofmyar
ms,
whenshesaw
Lucycomingtous.

Me:Lucyyouneedtoleavenow,
howmanyt
imes
haveisai
dthatal
ready?

Lucy:
(l
aughed)sothi
sist
hekidyouweretal
king
about?,
comeonbabe.Youcandobettert
hant hi
s,
j
ustlethergoplaywi
thot
herki
dsandletamat ur
e
womanhandl eyou.

Di
ntl
etri
edtoleavebutit
ight
enedmygriponher
ar
m,sinceidi
dnttakeachanceofl
ett
ingitgo.
Me:iam donet
alki
ngt
oyou,
iwoul
dli
kesome
pr
ivacywit
hmywomannow.

Lucy:(
laughed)babypleasestopdoingthat
,youare
goingtohurtthepoorgirl
.Howmanyt i
meshave
youfoundgi r
lsandtoldmet hatyouhavemovedon.
Thenextt hi
ngyouwi l
lbeknockingonmydoor step
i
nt hemi ddl
eofthenight,seeki
ngmyat t
enti
on.For
once,Lethergobeforeyoubr eakherl
ikeyoudidto
other
s.

Thist
imeDi nt
leyankedoffmygripandranof
fto
theot
hersideoftheroad.Justwheniwasaboutto
gotoher,
shegoti nauberanditdroveoff
.

Lucy:dammitmanK,st
opchasi
ngaft
ert
hisl
it
tl
e
gi
rls.Ar
eyoutryi
ngt
odest
royyouri
mage?

Me:shutt
hatrot
tenmout
hofyoursbefor
eimake
you.Ther
ott
ennerveoft
hinki
ngt
hatyouknowme
andhadmeal lfi
guredout.Endsnow.Youar ethe
onewhocheat edonmewi t
hyoursocal led" cousin"
remember?.IlovedyouLucy, iwasevenr eadyt o
marryyou.Butyoumadeaf ooloutofme, ichose
nottel
lourfami l
iesaboutyoursagaj usttopr ot
ect
yourreput
ation.Dontpushme, becauseyouwont
l
ikeit.

Lucy:(
bet
weenhert
ear
s)forahundr edt
hti
meK,
thatni
ghtmydri
nkwasspiked.Idontknowhowi
endedupinbedwit
hhi
m.

Me:forahundredt
htimeLucy,idontfuckencare.I
wouldtel
lyouaboutyourl
atenightpart
ieswit
hhi m,
andyouthrewtheword"cousi
n"tomeever y
chanceyougot.
I
nser
t79

Youknewhowmuchil ovedyou,
andyouknewthat
ihadasoftspotf
oryou.Thati
swhyyouthoughti
wasst upid,andthef
actthatikeptcomingbackto
youmadeyousosur et hatyouwil
lalwayshavea
chancewi thme.Newsf l
ashbabe,iam notther
e
anymor e.Idontwantyouanymor e,makesureyou
getthatbecauseiwontbet hiscal
mi fif
indyou
mingli
ngi nmyl ovel
if
eagai n.

Ijustleftherthereasiranbackt omyof fi
ce, itook
mypur seandcarkeys.It oldmyr eceptionistt hati
wasoutf ortheday.Iknewi twasabadbusi ness
choice, butihadtosavemyr el
ationship.Wheni got
backt ot heparki
nglot,Lucywasal readygone.I
wasgl adt hatshequicklygotthemessage, igoti n
mycaranddr oveofftomypl ace.Thatst heonl y
placet haticouldthi
nkof ,
ireall
yneededt ogether
thattr
acki ngnecklacefrom Malos.Forhersaf ety
aswel l.
20minut
eslat
eriar
rived,
ipar
kedmycarandr
an
i
nsi
de.Ibumpedint
oMavi sonmywayin.

Me:ma,
isDi
ntl
eher
e?
Her
:yesmyson,
att
hepat
io.

Ithankedher,andwal kedtothepoolside.Shehad
hereyesclosed,withherheadsetson.Sheopened
hereyesaf t
erisett
lednexttoher,iguessshef el
t
theweight.Sheslowlyr emovedherheadsets,sti
ll
notlooki
ngatatme.It ri
edtotouchher,butshe
shif
tedherhand.

Me:babeiam sor r
ythatyouhadt oexper i
encethat
.
Butiswearidi dnttouchher ,andt hatisthehonest
tr
uth.Yesshei stheLucyt hatiwasi nar elat
ionshi
p
withfor5year s,andevengotengagedt o.Andshe
wast ell
ingthet r
uthwhenshesai dikeptgoi ng
backt oher ,
eacht i
meit r
iedtomoveon.Iwasso
muchi nl ovewi t
hher ,shewast heonl ywomani
tr
ulylovedbef oreimetyou.Thel astti
meigotback
withher, i
tsthetimeipr oposedt oher .Honest l
yi
wasr eadyt omar ryherandset t
leddown.But3
monthsdownt hatengagement ,ifoundheri nbed
wit
hhersocal
ledcousi
n.Iwassoshat
ter
ed,
andi
t
houghtiwasnevergoi
ngtol
oveagai
n.
I
nser
t80

Ijustli
vedal i
feofhavi ngfuckbuddies, icouldn't
tellourfami l
ieswhywer eendedtheengagement .
Evenaf tershehadbr okemyhear t,isti
llprotected
heri mage.Al liam t
ryingt osayi
st hatit r
ulylove
youDi ntle,
imi ghthavedonesobaddeci si
onsi n
thepastt hatmi ghtt
ryt ogetbetweenus.Butiwant
yout oknowt hatmyhear tbel
ongst oyouandonl y
youbabe.Iseemyf ut ureinyou,andiwantt o
spendt her estofmydayswi t
hyou.

Shefinal
lyl
ookedatme,
andknewwewer
emaki
ng
progr
ess.

Her:iknockedandyoudidntr
espond.Your
recept
ioni
stwasr eadyt
ostopmef r
om ent
eri
ng
youroffi
ceKhantsho.Maybebecausesheknew
whatyouusual
lygetupto.Yourshaf
twaspoi
nti
ng
nort
h,makesmewonderwhatwoul dhave
happenedi
finevercametoyouroffi
ce.

Iqui
ckl
ymovedcl
osert
oherandt
ookherhand.

Me:nothingwasgoi ngtohappenmylove,iwas
busychasingheroutofmyof fi
cewhenshej umped
onmydesk.Ir espectyousomuchbabe, iwouldnt
doyoulikethat
.Youar etheonlywomanforme.
Andithinkmyr ecepti
oni
sttr
iedtost
opyou
becausesheknowsLucy.Notbecauseiusual l
ydo
that
.

Sheremovedheadset sfr
om herphone,andisaw
herscrol
ltohermessages.Thenshehandedme
herphone,thefi
rstt
hingthatcaughtmyeyewas
thesender'
snumber.Thet extwentl
ike.
..

"
Runasf
astasyoucanbabygi
rl
,Khant
shoi
snot
fort
hecrybabiesli
keyou.Wi l
lyoubeabl
eto
handl
ehisgansterli
fewherehegoesawayfor
monthstoki
llandsteal
?.Ididntthi
nkso,
soleave
himfort
hemat ured.
"

Icl
osedmyeyesandopenedthem agai
n.Ifound
herst
ari
ngatme,iguessij
ustsol
dmyselfbydoing
whatij
ustdi
d.

Her
:ist
hatt
rue?

Me:iwasgoingt ot
ellyouaboutmyotherl
if
e,iwas
j
ustwait
ingfortheri
ghttime.Ij
ustf
oundyouDee,i
di
dntwanttolose.

Her:somuchf oronedayKhantsho?,
wereyouever
goi
ngt otel
lmet hosedet
ail
saboutLucyi
fyouwere
notcaughttoget
her?..
.
I
nser
t81
Wereyouevengoi ngtotellmeaboutyourot herli
fe
i
fshedi dntsendmet hi
stext?,
becauseiknowf or
surethatit
sher.Wereyou? ,
huh?.Ididntt
hinkso, i
dontthinkyouarereadyforwhateverwejust
star
ted.

Me:babyno,pl
easedontsaythat
.Iknowishoul
d
havet
oldyouthetr
uthfr
om thewordgo.

Her:idontknowyouanymor eKhantsho,iam not

sureifist
il
lwanttocont
inuewiththi
s.Thisi
sal l
toomuch, it
hinkweneedabr eak.

Shesaidt hatandraninsi
dethehouse.Dammi t
,
whatisabr eak?.Idontdobreaks,
iknowishoul d
havebeenhonestwi t
hher.Butiwasafr
aidofthe
samer eacti
onshej ustgi
venme.Icantloseher,
not
nowandnotever .
Ilockedmysel finthebedr oom, asicri
ed
hysteri
call
yont hebed.IloveKhant shosomuch,
butforamomentif el
tli
keihavebeenl i
vingalie.I
heardwhathesai d,butistillseeLucyasat hr
eatin
ourrelat
ionship.Sheknowshi m bett
er,andshe
knowswhi chbut t
onstopr ess.Maybeshewasr i
ght
,
ishouldjustleaveKhant shof orthematured.I
decidedtocal lKeneil
we, event houghiwasntsure
ifshewashomeyet .Butit ookmychances.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:heybabe,
youcal
ledj
usti
nluncht
ime.

Me:andhowwasyourf
ir
stday?

Her:youhavebeencr
yingDee,
anddontevendeny
i
t.

Me:(
betweenmyt ears)i
tstoomuchNeilwe,
ifeel
l
ikeihavebeenl
ivingalie.Maybeij
ustdont
deservetobel oved,
icaughthim wit
hhiserect
ed
shaftinhisoff
icelooki
ngathi sexwhowashel pi
ng
hersel
fonhi sdesk.Asifthatwasenough,ihadto
fi
ndoutt hatheisagangst erdoct
orwhokil
lsand
steal
sf r
om thatsameex.It ol
dhim weneeda
break,i
tstoomuch.

Her:woah!
,di
dyousayaBREAK? .WhatbreakDee?
,
soyouwanttopushhi m backtot
hatbi
tt
erex?.
Nowt el
lme,weretheyi
ntimatewhenyoucaught
them i
nhisoff
ice?

Me:Nobut
..
.

Her
:washi
sexpl
anat
ionbel
ievabl
e?

Me:yes,
butyoudontunder
standNei
lwe.
I
nser
t82
Her:wel liunderstandt hathewasnotcaughtnaked,
withhisshaf ti
nhercooki e.Ialsounderstandthat
hehasex' sandapastl ikeeveryoneelse.Iam
tal
kingaboutever ylady'seyecandy, thesameeye
candyt hatwor shipst hegroundyouwal kon.Babe
dontgetmewr ong, iam onyoursi de.Butyouneed
tostartact i
ngandt hi
nkingl i
keawoman.Youar e
notdeal i
ngwi t
ht hel ateOupaher e,youaredealing
withamanwhoseesawomani nyou.Notaki d
whowi l
lalwaysr unof feacht imeyouguysf ace
problems, iam sur eyouwi llagreewithmewheni
sayhehasbeennot hingbutsuppor ti
vetoyou.Its
hardouther et
of indaf ullparkageguy,withpure
i
ntentions.Dontbehi sf ool
, buthi
swoman.

Me:okaywher
eismycr
azyf
ri
end?
,andwhatdi
d
youdowit
hher?

Her:
(laughed)youaret
alki
ngt
oher
,andyou
shoul
dl i
stentoher.
Me:whendi
dyougetsosmar
t,andl
eftmebehi
nd?

Her:
(l
aughed)wellij
ustsharedwithyouthe
l
essons.Butonaseriousnotebabe,li
stentohim
wit
houtjudginghi
m.Andi fyouarestil
lnot
convi
nced,thechoi
ceisallyour
s.Allicansayishe
l
ovesyou, i
twashardtobemi ssed.Nowl et
stal
k
l
aterokay,anddontf
orgetyourstudi
es.

Me:iloveyousomuchNei
lwe,
youar
ethesi
steri
neverhad.

Her
:igotyoumyl
ove.

Shehungup, andimmedi atelydeci

dedt ogetmy
acttogetherandstopbehavi ngandt hinki
ngli
kea
baby.Iwentt otheinsuit
ebat hroom andwashed
myf ace.Wheniwasdoneil eftmyphonechar gi
ng,
asiwal keddownstairs.Butionl yf
oundMavi s
prepari
ngt ogotohercot tage.
Me:ma,
haveyouseenKhant
sho?

Her
:hewal
kedoutmi
nut
esago,
isever
ythi
ngokay?

Me:ever
ythi
ngi
sfi
nema,
iwi
llt
ryhi
m onhi
sphone.

Shenoddedandwal kedout.Iquickl
yranback
upst
airs,it
ookmyphoneanddi al
edhim.Butitt
ook
mestraighttovoi
cemai l
,iwasnowwor r
iedabout
hi
m andihadnoonet oaskabouthim.Ijust
deci
dedt oleavemyphoneont hechargeragai
n,
wentbackt otheki
tchen.
I
nser
t83

Thenibegantocooksupper
,justt
odist
ractmy
mind.Ij
ustdi
dntwanttothi
nkoftheworst.
☆Khant
sho☆

Aft
erDintl
eleftmeoutside,iheadedtoLucy'shotel
aft
ergetti
ngthelocat
ionfrom Malos.Iknockedon
herhotelr
oom, sheopenedt hedoorwearingonly
hersi
lkygownandsmi l
ed.

Her:iknewyouwoul
dcomehere,
rightwher
eyou
bel
ong.Stopconf
usi
ngyour
sel
fbabe.

Me:canicomei
n?

Her
:(
smi
led)yesof
cause.

Shemadeawayf orme,
andiwal kedinthenshe
cl
osedthedoor.Isl
apherhardacrosstheface,
causi
nghertogodownt hedoorindisbel
ief
.
Me:iwarnedyounott
omiggleinmylovel
if
e,but
secondsaft
eriwar
nedyou.Youdeci
dedtotextmy
woman.

Her:youfuckenlayedyourhandonmeK?
,soyou
ar
er eadytodealwithmyfathernow?

Isilent
lywentdownonherasibeganst rangli
ngher
,
theonlythingthatwasr unninginmyheadwas
Dintle'
swords.Whenshet ol
dmeaboutt akinga
break,minuteslaterireali
sedt hatihadact uall
y
kil
ledher.Igotupandt extedMal ostocomeand
cleanupmymess.Theniwal kedout,asidr ove
backhome.Iwasgoi ngt oburymysel finallmy
strongbottl
es.Ireall
ycantl oseDi nt
le,shehas
broughtnothingbuthopei nmyl i
fe.

15mi nuteslateriar
ri
vedhome, iparkedmycarand
walkedinside.Wheniapproachedt hekit
chen,isaw
herbusycooki ng.Isl
owlywalkedin,Sheturnedand
l
ookedatme.t henshewalkedupt ome.Icoul dn'
t
readherface,
iwasntsurewhatwasrunni
nginher
head.Shesnakedherarmsaroundmywai st
,and
l
ookedupt ome.Forasecondithoughtiwas
dreaming,imeanmyDintlewassohellmadatme.

Her
:havemenow,
righther
e.

Me:uhm.
..
,babear
eyou okay?

Shemovedawayf rom measshesl owlyremoved

hershoes,gi
vingmet hi
snaught ysmi l
ewhi l
edoing
i
t.yeeernowthatwasgr eenli
ghtsf orme.Icouldn'
t
waitforustotakeoffourclot
hes.ipull
edherhips,
l
ift
ingherupont ot
hekitchentable.Spreadi
ngher
l
egsinf r
ontofme,
I
nser
t84

ipushedherskirtupandt ookof
fhert
hong.asi
unzippedmyt r
ousertaki
ngoutmyhardand
erectedshaf
t.Thenigentl
ypushedherbackont
he
tabl
e,andtookholdofherankl
es.Thenipushedin
myshaf tsl
owlyinherwetcooki
e,andshegasped.
Yohijustcantgetusedtoherti
ghtcooki
ewalls,
theyl
eavemet rembli
nginsi
de.
Ibeganmovi ngi nandoutofhersl owl y, she
moanedandiwentoni tasihithercooki ewal l
s.
Thepl easurethatcamewi t
hit,yerrrr.Ii ncreased
mypaceasiwenthar derandfast er.Shecr iedout
l
oud, andt hatmot i
vat edmet ogomor ehar derand
fasterasshescr eamedmynamewi thherbody
trembling.Ipul l
edoutandmovedherf rom t hetable.
Thent urnedher ,asherpal mshel dagai nstthetable.
Ipartedherl egs, grabbedherhi pspul lingherback.
Asibegant ot hrusti nandoutofher .Ir anmyot her
handt ohercl i
t,asi rubbedagai nsti tfast er
.The
feeli
ngwasi ndescr ibable,i
twast hemostgood
feeli
ngt hattookoverourbodi es.Al lwecoul ddo
wasmoanandgr oanourl ungsout .Ther ewasno
holdingbackanymor e,asigavet hatonepower ful
thrustandwebot hcame.

Hepi
ckedmeupbr
idalst
yle,
headi
ngupst
air
s.
Strai
ghttotheshower ,andwehadthisbondi
ng
showersessionwi t
houtsayinganyt
hingto
eachother
.Wej ustkissedhereandther
e,not
breaki
ngeyecont act.
Whenwewer edone, wedr i
edourbodi esandwore
ourpj s.Thenwewentdownst air
stohavesupper
sincei twasafter7pm.Weset tl
edar oundthetabl
e
afteridishedupf orus,iknowwehadal ottosayto
eachot herandilovedthef actthattherewasno
tensionbet weenusanymor e.Wer espectedour
supperasweonl yhel
dal i
ghtconver sat
ionabout
themovi eswewant edtorent.

Whenwewer edoneeat
ing,
hehel pedmecl earthe
t
able.Thenwewashedt hedishestoget
her,when
wewer edoneheaskedmet ojoinhimforagl assof
wineinhisminibar
.Hetookmyhandashel edme
t
oi t
,hepouredusthewineandset t
lednexttome.
I
nser
t85

Ashepl
acedmyf
eetonhi
slap.
Him:babyiam sosor r
yfornotcomi ngoutclean
from thewordgo.Ithoughtiwaspr otect
ingour
relat
ionship,
ijustdi
dntknowhowyouwoul dreact
tomyot herl
if
e.WellasforLucy,sheisnonef actor
i
nmyl if
e.Iwaswr ongtoall
owheri nmyof fice,i
sweart oyoumyhear tonlybeatsforyou.Iloveyou
somuchDee.

Me:(
smil
led)iloveyoutoobabe,andiam sor
ryfor
mybadreaction.Ishoul
dn'
thavesaidthethi
ngsi
sai
dtoyou.

Him:noit
sokaymylove,iunder
stand.Ihave
somethi
ngel
setot
ellyou.

Me:uhm.
..
okay.

Hi
m:wehaveagigthatneedsmeforamont
h,
pl
easeknowt
hationl
ygot her
etowor
kand
not
hingel
se.

Ihadtoquickl
yrememberKenei
lwe'
swords,befor
e
iactl
ikeababy.Ihadt
otrusthi
m,moreoverthat
heishonestwithme.

Me:oh,
whenar
eyoul
eavi
ng?

Hi
m:f
ir
stweekofnextmont
h.

Me:isthi
sthel
if
eyouar
egoi
ngt
oli
vef
ort
her
est
ofyourli
fe?

Him:ofcausenotmylove,aftert
hisonegigiwil
l
tal
ktomyuncl eaboutf
indinganotherdoct
or.Even
thoughit
sgoingtobehardt oconvincehi
m,buti
am goingtotr
y.
Me:okaybabe,
iguessij
usthavet
obel
ievei
nyou.

Him:(
smil
ed)thankyousomuch,youdontknow
howmuchi tmeanstometohearyousaythat.I
promiset
otakegoodcareofyourhear
tmylove.

Wespokesomemor e,bondi
ngalotmor
e.Il
oved
ever
ysinglemomentofit
.Lat
eronwewenttobed
andslept
.
2weeksl ater,i
twasf r
idayandmybi r
thdaywason
sunday.ihadal readybeganwi thmyexams, t
he
wayiwasr eadingandf ocused.Iknewforsur
ethat
iwasnailingmyexams, t
hingsweregoingver
ywell
forme.
Khantshowasdef ini
tel
yheavenlysent,iwasfal
l
ing
i
nl ovewit
hhi m moreeachandever ysecond.He
evenintr
oducedmet ohisscar
ybutf r
iendl
yuncle.I
mustsayil i
kedthefactthathedidntgivemeany
badvibes,atl
eastoneofhisfamilymember s
approveofme.
I
nser
t86

Iwasonlyleftt
omeett hequeenofhi sheart,
who
happenstobehismother.Iam sonotl ooki
ng
for
wardtothatone,it
oldhim nottorushmeet i
ng
usupsinceitwastoosoon.At l
eastheunderstood
myconcerns.

Itwasnowaf termyexam, Amandahadsomepl ans

withhermansosher ushedout.Iwasleftwi
th
Tsholo,sowedecidedt ogochil
latchi
ckenlicken
j
usttopasst i
mesi nceitwasonlyaft
er12pm.Whi l
e
shewentt oorderusfood,ideci
dedtocallmybest
fri
end.Eventhoughiknewshewasst i
llatwork.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:Mr
sMoeket
si,
howar
eyou?

Me:
(l
aughed)iam goodmyl
ove,
andhowar
eyou?
Her
:hor
ny,
tir
edandhungr
y.

Me:(
bust
edoutwit
hlaughter
)andwher
eisKat
leho
whenyouar
egoingthroughallt
hat
?

Her:mxm,toofocusedongett
ingapr
omot
ion.He
cantevennot
icethathei
sstarvi
ngme.

Me:
(laughed)pl
easedontcheatonhi
m.

Her:
(laughed)imi
ghtaswel
lcheatonhim,plushi
s
bossisgivi
ngme"iwanttof
uckyou"looks.

Me:
(bustedoutwit
hlaught
er)youneedJesus
Chr
isthi
mselftocomehealyou.

Her
:(bust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er)il
oveyoumor
e.Bye
f
ornow.

Ihungup,Tshol
ocamewi t
hourfood.Weatewhil
e
tal
kingmoreaboutourexams.Justthenmyphone
rang,andi
twasmyman.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:ownerofmycooki
e.

Tshol
obust
edoutwit
hlaught
er,
causingKhant
sho
tol
aughontheot
hersi
deoftheli
ne.

Him:
(laughed)ownerofmydi
ck,
wher
ear
eyou
now?

Me:
(smi
led)chi
ckenl
icken,
wit
haf
ri
end.Why?

Hi
m:iam comi
ngt
ofet
chyounow.
Me:oh,
andwor
k?

Hi
m:thatcanwaitmyl
ove.Wai
tformeont
heot
her
si
deoftheroad.

Me:okaybabe.

Ihungup,
thenpr
epar
edt
oleave.

Tshol
o:ohcomeDee,
whatwi
llidowi
thal
lthese
food?

Me:
(laughed)i
tshi
ght
imeyoufoundyour
sel
fa
man.Amandaandiwil
lkeepondit
chi
ngyouthi
s
wi
nter.

Shebust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er,
asit
ookadr
umst
ick
andwalkedout.Iwasjusti
ntime,becausehi
scar
appear
edaftericr
ossedtheroad.
I
nser
t87

Ifinal
lygoti
nthecar,
andhedr
oveof
f.Buthedi
dnt
taketheroadheadi
nghome.

Me:ar
ewegoi
ngsomewher
e?

Him:(
smiled)yep,j
ustali
tt
leweekendawayt
o
cel
ebrat
eyourbi r
thday.

Okayidi
dntexpectt
hatone,it
houghthewasgoi
ng
t
oshowermewi thpresent
s.

Me:
(smi
led)wowbabe,
that
shuge.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)t
hat
'snot
hingmyl
ove,
youdeser
ve
t
hewor
ldandever
ythi
ngi
nit
.

Icouldn'
thelpbutblush,hejustl
aughedatmeas
hetookmyhandandki ssedit
.Iwasli
vingthe
dream guys,somethingionlysawonmovi es.Ijust
couldn'
thelpbutsmi l
ealoneallr
idel
ong.Ar i
ana
Grande'ssongwason, anditwasdefi
nit
elytal
king
tous.

Can'
tfi
ghtt
hisnomor
e
I
t'
sjustyouandme
Andt
her
e'snot
hingI
,not
hingI
,Icando
I
'
m st
uckwi
thyou,
stuckwi
thyou,
stuckwi
thyou
Sogoaheadanddr
ivemei
nsane

Whenwedr oveinORTamboai r
por
t,ilookedathim
wi
thmyt ear
yeyes.Guysyoucantbl ameme, i
meanthi
swashugef orme.Ihadneverbeent othe
ai
rpor
tbefore,
letal
onebeinginaplane.Yetagain,i
feltl
ikeiwaslivi
ngthelif
eionl
ysawonmovi es.I
wasdef ini
tel
ygoingtoturn21instyl
e.Hebrief
ly
kissedmewi thoutsayi
ngawor dtome, t
henwegot
offthecar.That'
sonlythenir
emember edthatwe
didntpackanycl ot
hes.

Me:babewedi
dntbr
ingal
ongourcl
othes.

Hi
m:(smil
ed)thatst
hewholepl
anmylove,
youl
ook
morebeauti
fuli
nyourbi
rt
hdaysui
t.

Ibustedoutwi thlaughter,tothinkthatheact ually

meantmynakedbody.Wewal kedfutheri
nbutwe
didtakethewayt hateveryonewasheadi ngt oo,we
tookthisspaciousbutl onelypassaget hatledust o
thi
smi nipl
ane.Il aterr
ealisedt hati
twasapr ivate
j
et,hehKhant showasamanwi thmanysur pr i
ses.
Allt
histimehewashol di
ngmyhand, thi
sot herguy
i
nuni for
m appr oachedus.Hegr eet
edme, andf i
st
bumpedKhant sho.
Hi
m:youruncl
egavemeahel
lofal
ect
ureas
al
ways.
I
nser
t88

Bae:(l
aughed)itishi
sjetaf
terall
,soweneedt
o
respectthat
.GiftmeetDint
lethefut
ureMrs
Moeket si
,babemeetGi f
tourpil
ot.

Lol,f
uturewho? .Someonei sget ti
ngaheadof
himself.Whenwewer edonewi ththeint
ro,i
fol
lowedmymanashel edmei nsidethejet
.Then
weset tl
eddownandgotonoursaf etybel
ts,asi
t
tookof f
.MinuteslaterKhantshot oldmeitwassafe
toreleasemyselffrom thebelt.Thenheaskedme
tositonhislap,andihappi l
ydi d.

Iwassti
lltakenbythebeautyofthejet,itwasa
minihome.Iwasnotaf anofpictures,butthi
sti
me
iwasdefinit
elygoi
ngtotakealotofpicturesand
postt
hem onwhat
sapp.

Hi
m:yougoodbaby?

Me:(
smiled)iam perf
ectbabe.Thankyoufordoi
ng
t
hisforme, imeanthi
sisthebestgif
tever
.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)ar
eyousur
emyl
ove?

Me:
(l
aughed)awbaby,
yes.

Him:(l
aughed)wel
liam confusedmyl
ove,
because
ihaventgi
venyouyourgift
syet .

Lol,aishame.Amanl
ikemi
neguys,
hei
sdef
ini
tel
y
forkeeps.
approxi
mat
ely1hourand5mi
nut
es,
wel
andedi
n
Durban.
Wef ounda2019JeepWr angl
eralr
eadywaiti
ngf or
us.Hewasgi venthekeysandhedr oveasstrai
ght
toCABNANABEACHRESORT.Nowihaver ead
aboutthishol
idayplaceovertheinter
netyears
back,theexci
tementthathitmewhenhet ol
dme
thatwewer eactual
lyri
dingthereyoh.

Whenwear r
ivedifel
tli
keami l
li
ondoll
arbabe.If
elt
sospeci
alandimportant
, guysifel
texpensi
ve.We
walkedi
n,hedidthetal
kingintherecepti
onarea,
thenhewasgiventhekeyt oourapartment.
Whenwewal kedinsideourapar tment,Khantsho
laughedoutl oudbecauseofmyf aci
alexpressions.
Adecor atedandai r-
conditi
onedapar t
ment ,Witha
self-
containedlounge,ful
lyequi ppedkit
chen,
spaciousbedr oomsandabal conyoffer
ing
spectacularoceanvi ews.Nowt hatsunforgett
able,
ijustatt
ackedmymanwi ththet i
ght
esthugever .
Thathugt urnedt ouskissingsopassi onatel
y,and
ourclothesscat t
eredont hefloor.
I
nser
t89
Hepi ckedmeup, asiwr appedmyl egsar oundhi s
waist .Takingust ot heshower ,
het urnedont he
wat erwhi l
est i
lli nt hatposi ti
on.Hewasi nfull
cont rol,
holdingmemi dairandpushedhi shar d
shaf tinmywetandr eadycooki e.Thepl easur e
thatcamewi t
ht hewayhewast hrusti
ngi nandout
ofme, yohi twasunbear able.Iknewiwasgoi ngto
cum count lessl y,hewoul djusthitmycooki ewal ls
slowl ybuthar der .Yeer riwasdat i
ngt hegodofsex,
thet hingshewasdoi ngt omewasoutoft hiswor ld.
Aftermycount lessofcum, hedecidedt oincrease
hismovement s.Si ncewewer efacet of ace,we
wer eabl etoletourhandswanderwher evert hey
pleased.Causi ngust of i
lltheshowerwi thour
moans, hecont inuedf uckingmehar derunt ili
screamedouthi sname.Cl imaxwasr ippingt hrough
mybodyagai n, sincehewasntf arbehi ndhisbody
tensedupasheempt iedhimsel fi
nsideme.
Thenwehadanor malshowerandwalkedt
ot he
bedroom.Ilayedonthebed,asheorder
edroom
servi
ce.Thenhecameandj oinedme,wewerein
ourbi
rt
hdaysui
tesandiwasl
ovi
ngi
t.

Hi
m:il
oveyousomuchbabe,
ihopeyouknowt
hat
.

Me:
(smi
led)il
oveyoumor
ebaby.

Him:
(smil
ed)t
hisweekendi
syour
s,al
lyourhear
t
desi
resar
egranted.

Iqui
ckl
ysatup,
andhebust
edoutwi
thl
aught
eras
hesatupt
oo.

Me:babydontsayt
hat
,becauseiwonthavemer
cy
onyou.

Him:(
laughed)comethi
nkofit,
youhavenever
askedanythi
ngf r
om me.Ial
waysoff
eredt
odo
thi
ngsforyou,why?
Me:ineverwantedtobot
heryou,
orcomeoutl
ikei
wasafteryourmoney.

Him:babeyouaremywoman, youhaveeveryr
ight
toaskanyt
hingfrom me.Anditdoesntmakeyoua
golddi
gger,
Itsmydut yasyourmant ot
akecareof
you.I
nfacti
'dli
ketohaveyouraccountnumber
whenwegethome.

Me:
(smi
led)wel
liunder
standnowmyl
ove.

Wekissedbr
ief
ly,t
hent herewasaknockonour
doorandweknewi twasr oom ser
vice.Hewor
ea
gown,andwenttoattendit.
I
nser
t90

Hecamebackpushi
ngawheeltrayt
abl
e,iwor
emy
gownaswel
l.Weatewhi
lehol
dingali
ght
conversat
ion.Af
tereat
ingwewentbackt
obed,
and
conti
nuedwi t
hourbondingsessi
ons.
Thenextmor ningitwassat ur
day, weshower edand
dressedi nt hecl otheswecamewi th.Wehad
breakfast,thenwewentout .Itwast hedayof
getti
ngal lmydesi resgranted.Wedr ovet oGat eway
Theat r
eofShoppi ng.Hehiwasonami ssionof
buyingal lthet hingsialwayswant ed.Hewasgoi ng
tocar r
ymypaperbagsasiswi pewi thhi scard.Our
fi
rstshopwas" Ist
ore",
igotmysel fanewphone
andl aptop.Idi dntevenwantt olookatmyman, i
stol
eagl anceathi m andhebust edoutwi th
l
aught erasheshookhi shead.Thenit ookhi shand,
asiledhi mt oKur tGeiger.Helookedatmeand
smiled.Hehadt ogetclot
hest oo, becausewecame
withnocl ot hes.Heonl ychoset wogol fshi r
ts,and
twojeans.Hewasser i
ouslynoti nthemoodt oget
himselfanyt hing,icouldseethatiwasf orci
nghi m.
Thenwej oinedt hequeuet opay.

Me:babycomeon,stopsul
king.Your
eall
ydidnt
t
hinkiwoul
dletyouspendt
hewhol eweekendwith
t
hosecl
othesyouar
ewear
ing,
right
?

Him:(l
aughed)youar
ereall
yamazingyouknow?
,
todaywasonlyaboutyou.Butyouchoset
oaddmy
needstoo.

Me:(
smil
ed)i
tsal
lyourdoi
ngsmyl
ove,
yourl
ovei
s
cont
agi
ous.

Heki ssedmyf orehead, l

ikewewer enotar ound
people.Wef i
nal l
ypayedt henheadedt omyt rusted
store"thef i
x".Asigotmysel fanewwar dr obe.
From dr esses, skirt
s, j
eans,cropt opsandacoupl e
ofheel s.Thenwewentt oSpor tscene, t
oget
mysel fthelatestj ordansneaker s.Af t
erallthat
shoppi ngiwasdeadt ir
ed.LolKhant showasf edup,
wewentt odr opt hepaperbagsi nt hecar .Thenwe
wentt ohavel unchatRocoMamas, wefounda
tabl
eandset tleddown.Awai t
ercame, t
ookour
orderandl eft.Khant sholeanedf orwardandt ook
myhand.
Hi
m:ar
ewedoneyetbaby?

Me:(bust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er)shamemybaby,
tir
ed
al
ready?
I
nser
t91

Hi
m:(
laughed)youhavenoi
dea.

Me:(
laughed)wel
lwear
edonewithal
lthecl
othi
ng,
i
j
usthavetodomyhairandnai
ls.

Hi
m:phwee!Thankgod.

Icount
inedt
olaugh,
ourf
oodf
inal
lycameandwe
ate.
Whenwewer edone,
heaccompani
edmetot
he
sal
on.Ichoseaweavefort
hefi
rstt
imei
nmyli
fe,
it
wasamalaysi
anweave.Thenmynai
lswer
edone
aswel
l.
Imademyfinalswi
pe,
thenwewal
kedt
othecar
handi
nhand.

Him:youl
ooksuperbeaut
if
ulbaby,
greatchoi
ceof
hai
r.

Me:(smi
led)t
hankyoubaby.Ij
ustcantthankyou
enough,
idontknowwhatididtodeserveamanl i
ke
you.

Him:
(smil
ed)wellyoumakeiteasyf
ormetolove
youbaby.Iam happywhenyouarehappymylove.

webri
efl
yki
ssedandgoti
nthecar
.Thenhedr
ove
usbackt
oourapart
ment.
Whenwearri
ved,wedi
dntunpackanyt
hing.Wegot
i
ntheshowerandgoti
nbed.Iguesswewer et
oo
t
ir
edt
oevenor
derdi
nner
.
Thenextmor ning,i
twasmybi rthday.21st
unlockedbaby.whenicheckedhi ssidehewasnt
there.Islowlysatup, andhewal kedi nnakedwitha
trayofbr eakf
ast.Singingahappybi r
thdaysong,i
couldn'thelpbutlaughoutl oudbecausehi sshaft
waspoi nti
ngnorth.Hepl acedthet r
ayont hebed
side,thenclimbedont hebedasourl ipsmet.He
slowl ypushedmedown, ashewentdownonme.
kissingmyever yf l
esh, unt
ilhi
slipsmetmycooki e.
Ifelthi
mt akemyswol lenclitbetweenhislips,andi
l
etoutasof tmoan.Whi l
ehol di
ngont hebeddi ngs.
Her anhist ouguei nslowt easingmot i
onsal ong
alongmyent irecli
t,causingmet ojackmyhi psup
anddown.Myl egsspeadsl ightl
yasheci rcledhis
tougueonmycooki eentrance,causingthist i
ckli
sh
pleasurethatmademescr eam outhisname.He
wasdef ini
telyonami ssionofmaki ngmer each
cloud9onmyver ybirt
hday.Whenhei ncr
easedhi s
movement s,ijustlostitandr el
easedinhismont h.
Hecameuponmesmi l
ing,asourl i
psmetagai n.
Maki ngmet astemyj uices.
I
nser
t92

Mi
nutesl
aterhepul
ledoutoft
heki
ssandl
ookedat
me.

Him:Youmakemyl i
feworthli
ving.Youbr
ing
smilest
omyface,andyourtouchshowsmehow
muchyoulovemeandcar eforme.Youaremy
fr
iendandmylover
.HappyBi r
thdaymylove.

Me:(t
earyeyes)t
hankyousomuchf
orchoosi
ngme
baby,t
hankyouforeveryt
hing.

Hi
m:youar
ewel
comebaby,
nowl
etseatup.

Webegantoeat,l
ucki
lyhechosej
uicei
nsteadofa
tea.Ot
her
wisei
twouldhavebeencoldbynow.
Whenwewer edoneeati
ng,wewenttoshower.
Thenwewentbacktobed,spendi
ngourlasthour
s
i
nbed.Si
ncewewer
egoi
ngbackhomear
ound
4pm.
Hewestaf
fedour
selveswit
hal
lthegoodi
es,
unt
il
wecoul
dn'
ttakei
tanymore.

4pm, wedr essedupandt ookallourthingstot he

car.Ihadthebestweekend, andifeltmor especial
everysecond.Wegoti nthecaranddr oveofft othe
air
port.Thatsonlythenir eali
sedthatbot hmy
phoneswer eoff
,anditmusthavebeenKhant sho.
Comet othinkofit,ineversawhi m onhi sphone
ei
thersincewegother e.Ijustsmiledandl ookedat
him.Hecaughtmesmi li
ng, andhet ookmyhand.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)whatgotyousmi
li
ngt
hismuch?

Me:
(smi
led)youbaby,
onl
yyoumyl
ove.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)wel
liam gl
ad.
Wef i
nal
lyarr
ivedattheai
rpor
t,wef
oundt
hejet
al
readywait
ingforus.Wemadeourwayin,gr
eet
ed
gi
ftanditt
ookof ft
oORTambo.
Whenwegott oPretor
ia,
wedr ovepastNandosand
boughtthetakeaways.Sincewewer etootir
edto
cook.Whenwegothome, heparkedhi
scaroutside
thegarage.Thenwebot hgotout,andstoodnextto
hiscarbeforetaki
ngoutourthings.

Me:ar
eyougoi
ngout
?

Hi
m:notr
eal
lybabe,
why?

Me:whydi
dyoupar
kither
e?

Hi
m:(
smi
led)becauset
her
e'syourcari
nsi
de.
Okaythatmusthavebeenapr ankguys,itcantbe.
Nononoi tcantbetrue.Myeyesgottearyasisaw
hi
m presstheremote,andthegarageopened.
Exposi
ngawhi teLandRoverRangeRoverEvoque,
wit
har edri
bbonont hebonnet.
I
nser
t93

Icouldn'thelpbutcr y,
ashehel
dmei nhi
sarms.
Surel
yt hiswasadr eam,t
herewasnowaythati
couldbet hisblessed.Onceiwascal
m,isl
owly
pull
edof fhisarms.

Me:ar
eyousur
e?

Him:
(smi
led)wellt
hisi
stheli
tt
lepr
esenticoul
dget
youf
oryourbir
thdaymylove.

Ipl
ayful
lyhi
thim,andhel
aughedoutl
oud.Di
dhei
s
j
ustsaythe"l
it
tl
e"?
Me:babyt
hisi
shuge,
your
eal
lydi
dnthavet
o.

Him:wellyoudeser
vei
tmylove,i
tsallyour
s.Ihope
yousti
llr
ememberthebasi
csitaughtyou.

Me:ido.Buti
sthi
sreal
lymi
ne?

Him:
(laughed)
welli
fyouar
ethefut
ureMrs
Moeketsi,
bythenameofDint
leMokwena.The
womanwhost ol
emyheart
,andmademel ove
agai
n.Thenyesitsyour
s.

Ilaughedandhuggedhimt i
ghtl
y.Yohireal
lydidnt
knowwhatt osay,aft
erbr
eakingthehughehanded
met hecarkeys.Andthat
swheni tr
eall
ysinkedin
thatitwasactual
lymycar.

If
inal
lymademywayt
oit
,unl
ockedi
tandgoti
n.I
smiledathi
mf r
om theinsi
de,
sincehewasl eaning
backonhiscarsmili
ngatme.Mi nutesl
aterigotoff,
andwalkedtowardshim.Hedidntmove, soi
snakedmyar msaroundhiswaistandlookedupt o
him.

Me:thankyousomuchbaby,
ireal
lydontknow
whattosay.

Him:youarewel comebaby.Iwi l
lgetsomeonewho
wil
lgetyoureadyt ohitt
heroad,beforeyoudr
ivei
t.
Andalsoorganiseal i
censeforyou,youcan'
tbe
goi
ngthetraff
icr out
e.

Me:(bust
edoutwithlaught
er)mygangst
erdoct
or,
someti
mesiforgethowdangerousyoucanget.

Him:
(bust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er)babyno,
pleasedont
sayt
hat.
Wel aughedsomemor e,asitookourstaf
finsi
de
thehouseandhef i
nal
lydrovehi
scarinthegarage
nexttomi ne.Minut
eslat
erhecameandj oinedme
i
nt hekit
chenasweat e.Thenwewentst rai
ghtto
bedandsl ept.

☆Khant
sho☆

Istweekofj ulyhadarri
ved,
andiwasr eadyt
ogoto
myl astgig.Eventhoughisti
llhaventt
oldmyuncl
e
yet,iam planningontel
li
nghim whenwecome
back.
I
nser
t94

Iwashappyt hatiwasleavingknowi ngthatmy

womanwi l
lbetakengoodcar eof.Imeanshewas
nowdr i
vinghersel
faround,andihaddeposi tedher
enoughcasht hatwouldlastherunti
lacomeback.
Unli
kemyuncl e,iam neverreal
lyatargettoour
enemies.Theydontevenknowt hatiam involved,
i
am alwayshidden.Soitkeepsmyl ovedonessaf e,
thatiswhyidonthaveguar dsrunningaroundmy
house.Butileftoneofmyguyst ol ookafterDi
ntl
e
from adist
ance,justf
orcontr
ol.Sinceiwillbegone
foramont h.soihavetomakesur et hatsheissafe
atallti
mes.

Wewerenowattheair
por
t,gett
ingi
nthejetwi
th
t
hesquad.Oncewewerealli
n,i
ttookoff
.Oncewe
wer
eintheai
r,myuncl
ecameandset tl
ednextt
o
me.

Hi
m:ouri
nsi
demanhasdi
sappear
ed.
(whi
sper
ing)

Me:what
?,andyousti
llwentonwiththi
sgi
g?.
Uncl
ethi
scangetreal
lynastyyouknow?

Hi
m:keepyouvoi
cedown.
Me:ohgr
eat
,justgreat
.Soyoudidnttel
ltheSquad?
,
youar
eri
ski
ngwi t
hpeople'
sli
veshere.

Him:theSquadi
sready,
wearer
eady.Wecant
backdownnow,thi
sisourbi
gbr
eak.Wemi ght
neverhavet
ogoongigsanymor
eaftert
hisone.

Me:oh,
howbi
g?

Hi
m:7bi
ll
ionbi
gson.

Iwashappythathewasalr
eadytalki
ngabout
abort
ingt
hegigsaft
ert
hisone.Iguessiwonthave
tobeghimtogo
af
tert
hisone.

Me:aslongasyouar
esuret
hatwecanpul
lthi
sof
f
wi
thoutyouri
nsi
deman.
Wespokesomemor
eandMal
osal
soj
oinedus.
Wef i
nall
ylandedincapet own,andwemetwithour
othert
eam thatact
uall
ylivesincapetown.We
foundthem al
readywait
ingf oruswit
hthecar
sthat
droveustomai nhouse.
Minuteslat
erwear r
ivedatoursecr etmai
nhouse.
Itwasanoldabandonedbui l
ding,butt
hebasement
waswher eweactuallyst ayed.Thebasementhad
10bedrooms, 1hugel oungeand1hugeki tchen.
Wewer easquadof20, includingmeandmyuncl e.
Itwas18mal esand2f emal es.Iusedtohavea
thi
ngwi t
honeoft hefemal es,
I
nser
t95

bythenameofMi a.A28year
sol
dcol
our
edl
ady,
butiwasnti
nthatanymor
e.

Wewentt
oourrespecti
veroomstorest
,si
ncewe
hadt
ogooverourplanstomorr
ow.Igoti
nmyroom
thatiusedtosharewit
hMia,sheal
sowalkedi
nand
closedthedoor.Thenshepl
acedherbagsont
he
bedandwal kedtome.

Her
:youhavebeenavoi
dingmesi
nceyouar
ri
ved,
what
'sgoi
ngon?

Me:iam gladyougotthemessage.Youneedtogo
andsharear oom wi
thRuby,
thentel
lSbutocome
thi
sside.

Her:Steelcal
m down,whyar eyouli
ket
his?
.You
onlybehavethiswaywhent here'
sanewpussy.But
thathasneverstoppedusfrom havi
ngf
un,imean
youknowyouneedt orel
easewhenwear eher
e.So
iam yourgirl
.

Me:Miayoualsoknowt
hatidontl
iker
epeat
ing
mysel
f,r
ight
?
Shesl
owlynoddedasshetookherbagsand
wal
kedout.Minut
esl
aterSbuwalkedin,
andiwas
gl
ad.Thenideci
dedt
ocallmywoman.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:yoh,
Final
ly.

Me:(
laughed)comeonbabe,
itsonl
yfewhour
s
si
nceileftyou.

Her
:wellicanthel
pitbaby,
tot
hinkt
hatiam goi
ng
t
ostar
vef oramonth.Yoh!

Me:(
bust
edoutwi
thlaught
er)wecanst
il
lhavesex
t
hrought
hephoneyouknow.

Sbust
oleagl
anceatme,
hol
dingal
augh.
Her:
(l
aughed)buti
twontbet
hesamebaby.Imi
ss
youalr
eady.

Me:iwil
lbebacki
nnot
imesweet
hear
t.Il
oveyou
okay?

Her
:il
oveyoumor
ebabe.

Ihungup,
thensl
ept
.

Itsbeenhourssincehel eft
,it
hinkiwast hinking
toomuchaboutt hiswhol emont hthing.Prayingfor
hissaferet
urn,idontknowwhatiwoul dbei f
somet hi
ngcouldhappent ohim.Ideci dedtost op
thinki
ngtoomuchabouti t
,asifinishedclearingthe
house.WegaveMavi samont hl eavesincet her
e
wontbemucht odoar oundhere, andsheal so
ment i
onedsomet hi
ngabouthi shusbandbei ngsick.
I
nser
t96
Iwassousedtobei
ngaroundmybae, soiwas
bor
edtodaysi
nceihadnoclasses.Idecidedt
ocal
l
mybestf
ri
end.
*
phonecal
l*

Her:badtimingmylove,
iam aboutt
ogetl
aid.Cal
l
youlater
,iloveyou.

Shehungup,hehKenei
lwe.sincei
twasaf
ter4pm i
j
ustl
ockedthehouseandslept.
Iwaswokenbymyphoner i
ngi
ng,whenilookedat
theti
meitwas1am andi
twasbaecall
ing.Yohdi
di
real
lysl
eept
hroughoutt
hosehour
s.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:di
dyouseet
het
ime?
Hi
m:idi
d,andimi
ssyou.

Me:babycomeon,
let
stal
kint
hemor
ning.

Hi
m:(
laughed)buti
tst
hemor
ningbabe.

Me:babyyouknowwhatimean.Canisl
eeppl
ease?

Hi
m:(
laughed)of
cause.Il
oveyoununu.

Ij
usthungupandslept.3am iwasawake,andi
wassohungry.Pl
usislepttooearl
ywit
houteat
ing
supper
.Iwentdownstai
rs,andmadeanavocado
sandwi
chwithaglassofwat ert
henat
e.
Wheniwasdoneiwentbackt
obedandsl
ept
.

☆Khant
sho☆
2weekslater,
wewer ereadyt oatt
ack.Iwassti
l
l
worri
edaboutthefactthatourinsi
demanhad
di
sappeared.Butwewer emor ethanready.I
haven'
tspokentomywomanf orovertwodaysnow,
becausewehadat ightplanthatneededourful
l
att
enti
on.
I
twasnowanhourbef
orewel
eavef
orourmi
ssi
on.
Ishi
ft
edtomyr oom qui
ckl
y,iswi
tchedonmy
phoneanddi
aledmywoman.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:hey.

Iknewshewasmadatmef orbei
ngquietf
ortwo
days,
butidi
dnthavet
imet
oexplainsi
ncethi
scall
wasastol
enone.

Me:babyij
ustwant
edyoutoknowt hatil
oveyou
wit
hallmyhear
t.Pl
easedonteverdoubtmylove
f
oryou.
Justt
henMi
aspokebehi
ndme.

Her
:st
eelineedyounow.

Bae:i
sthatal
ady'
svoi
ceKhant
sho?

Me:babyiwi
llcal
lyou.

Ihungup,andwenttowhereever
yonewas.Mi a
beganhandingusourbull
etpr
oof
sandguns.My
mindwasonDi ntl
ethanonthemission,
andiknew
thati
tmightcauseaprobl
em f
orallofus.
Anhourl
aterwegoti
n2bl
ackH1'
s,t
hendr
oveof
f.
I
nser
t97

30minut
eslat
erwear
rivedatDamenShipyards
CapeTown.Weknewforsurethatt
heRussians
hadhiddent hei
rst
onesandgunsinthatplace.I
wasntworr i
edanymoreaboutthei
nsideman,
becausethesquadwasmor et
hanready.Our
dri
ver'
sdr oppedusandwenttohidewithourrides.
Theyonlycomecl oserwhenwearedone.

Wesl owlywentin,
asweal lscatt
eredaroundt he
place.Alt
houghtheplacewast ooquietformy
l
iking,noguardsoranyoneforthatmatter.Iquickl
y
stoppedmyuncl e,
helookedatme.

Me:thi
sdoesntf
eelri
ght,
fir
stl
youri
nsideman
di
sappear
es.Nowadanger ouspl
aceli
kethi
sone
hasnoguardsorsomethi
ng?

Him:(l
aughed)rel
axson,
ipayedupt
heguar
dson
duty.Nowletsdowhatweknowbest.

Herantowar
dsMiaandtheotherssincetheywer
e
cl
osert
othedooroft
hatwarehouse.Icouldn'
t
underst
andwhatwashappeni ngwithmet onight,
i
waschickeningout.Somuchwasr unninginmy
mind,iguessiwasst i
llconcernedaboutDi ntl
e
heari
ngawoman' svoi
cef rom thebackground.But
i
tcantbet hat,
ihavebeeni nmor eshitbefore.Buti
haveneverbeeninachi ckeningoutmanner .

Ifinal
lyhi
dfrom af
ar,asal
ways.Sinceiam onl
ya
standbydoctor
,soideci
dedtohideinoneofthe
securit
yhouses.
Secondslateranexpl osi
onwentof f
,andiknewt hat
theywerein.Immedi atel
yaf tert
hat,theli
ghtswent
onandt heshoot i
ngcamef rom nowher e.Dammit,
i
knewf orafactthati
twasasetupandt heywere
trappedsi
ncet heywer ealreadyinsi
de.Islowly
mademywayout ,contacti
ngourdr iverstobeon
standbybecauset hi
ngsj ustgotnast y.
Asiwast
ryi
ngt oseewher
etheshoot
ingwas
comi
ngfr
om, isawMalosr
unningt
ome.

Hi
m:youneedt
ocomei
nSt
eel
,youruncl
egotshot
.
Me:what?
,whatdoyoumeangoinwhenwecant
evenseet
hepeopl
eshoot
ingatus.Wear
etr
apped
i
nhere.

Justt
henifel
tabull
ethi
tmyarm, iqui
ckl
ywent
downtryi
ngtohi
de.ThatswhenisawMalosbei
ng
showeredwit
h4bull
ets.
I
nser
t98

Iwasr estless, ijustcoul

dn'tsleep.Ihaven' tspoken
tohimf or2days, andwhenhedeci dest oswi t
chon
hisphoneandcal lme.Iwaswel comedbya
woman' svoi ce, tomakei twor sehecut smeof f
withhiswor dsandhungup.Hehasbeengonef or
only2weeks, buthewasal r
eadyunderaski r
t.
Whenicheckedt hetimeitwas2am, if
ur i
ously
wentdownst airstogetmysel fagl assofmi l
ksince
icouldn'tsleep.Icoul dn'
tcallmybest f
riendatthis
ti
me, soideci dedt owatchamovi ej ustt ogetmet o
sleepagai n.
8am iwokeupont hecouch, iguessidozedof f
whi leiwaswat chingamovi e.Icheckedmyphone
foranymi ssedcal lsfrom Khant shobutt herewas
not hing.Igotmor eangr ybecausei tmeantt hathe
wasdef initelyupt onogood.Ishoul dn'thave
believedt hatnonesensespeechof"i '
m onl ygoi ng
ther etowor k".Iranupst air
st ot akeashower ,when
iwasdoneidr essedi nmybl ackbodysui t
,black
skinnyj eanandmyJor dansneaker s.If i
xedmy
weaveandf ace, thenit ookmybagandwal ked
downst airs.Idi dntf eelli
kemaki ngl ot soff ood,
event houghiwasangr y.Ijustmadeacer eal,and
ate.Wheniwasdone.It ookmyt hings, lockedt he
houseandgoti nmycarasidr oveof ftoschool .
Whenigott oschooli tseemedl ikeiwasear l
y, soi
justr emai nedi nmycarandl i
stenedt omusi c.Iwas
sohur t, andpi ssed.Butatt hesamet imeiwant ed
toseehi sf ace, andl ethim hol dmeasishoutat
him.Ij ustcoul dn'tbel i
evet hathewoul ddomel i
ke
that ,especi allyaf terthepr omi seshehadmadet o
me.10am imademywayt ocl ass, sincemor e
peopl ehadar ri
ved.Iwasj ustnoti nt hemoodt o
talk,andiguessmyf ri
endsnot icedsi ncetheydi dnt
j
umponmewi
tht
hel
atestgossi
p.

Adaywentby, att
endingmor eclassest hani
expected.Breakti
meir emainedi nclass, si
ncei
couldn'
tstomachanyt hi
ng.Betweenal lthatij
ust
keptonchecki ngmyphone, ortryingtocal lhi
m but
i
twoul dtakemest rai
ghttovoicemai l.
I
nser
t99

Yoh,
iam sur
eiwaspi
nkwi
thal
ltheanger
.
3pm, i
twasfi
nall
yaf t
erschool.Ipackedal
lmy
thi
ngsandheadedt omycar .Justwheniwasabout
todri
veoff
,ihear
dsomeoneknocki ngonmy
window.Whenilookedup, if
oundt hi
stal
landdar
k
guystandi
ngthere.Il
oweredmywi ndow.

Hi
m:heyma'am,mynamei
sSbu.Iwassentt
o
f
etchyoubySt
eel
.
Me:sor
rysi
r,idontknowanyonebyt
hatname.

Hi
m:ohsor r
y,iguessyoudon'tknowthatname.I
am act
ual
lytal
kingaboutKhantshoma'am.

Okayiwasmadne,butmyheartmadeali
tt
ledance
whenihear
dhisname.Al
thoughiwasconf
usedby
whyhewouldsendsomeoneelset
ofet
chme.

Me:wher
eishe?

Him:pl
easefol
lowbehi
ndmema'
am,
that
'smycar
overt
here.

Hewalkedbackt ohiscar,andididasiwast old.I

guessiwastoodesper at
et oseehim,ididnteven
thi
nkaboutpossibi
li
ti
esoft hi
sSbubei nganenemy
orwantedtokidnapmeorsomet hi
ng.Ijustwant ed
toseeKhantsho'sf
ace.Iwasf ol
lowingthisguy,
andhewast aki
ngroadsicoul
dn'tunder
stand.Or
rat
her
,roadsiwasntfami
li
arwith.
Aft
er30minut
es,wewer
edr
ivi
ngont
hisgr
avel
just
out
sidePr
etor
ia.
Agr avelt hatl edust ot hishiddenol dbui lding,
surroundedbyl ongt rees.Wegotoutofourcar s,
theni followedhi mi nsi de.Thei nsideoft hi
s
buildingwasbet tert hant heout side,itwaswar m
andbeaut if
ul.Whenwef i
nallypassedt hishuge
l
ounge, t
her ewer ef ourguysandal adysi tt
ingon
thecouches.Wegr eet edt hem, andwal kedt hrough
thi
sl ongpassaget hatl edust othisot herwhi te
room.Wher eifoundKhant shoinbedwi t
ha
bandageonhi sar m, besi dehi mt herewast hisslim
colour edl ady.Pr obabl yt heoneiover hear dont he
phone, ijustmai ntainedmycool ness.Khant sho
thankedt hebot hoft hem, ast heywal kedout
l
eavi ngusal one.Isl owl ywentt ositbesidehi m,
wher et hel adywassi tti
ng.Het ookmyhand, and
l
ookedatme.
Hi
m:myuncleandhist
rustedmanMal
os,
areno
more.Andot
hermembers.
I
nser
t100

Yoht
hepai
ninhi
seyessai
dital
l.Ijustcoul
dn'
t
i
magi
newhathemightbef
eel
inginside.

Me:ohmybaby,
iam real
lysor
ry.Iam real
lysor
ry
f
oryourl
ossmylove,
isther
eanythingelseicando
f
oryou?

Hi
m:nobabe,
Miat
ookcar
eofever
ythi
ng.Youcan
j
ustt
akemehome.

Me:uhm.
..
Mia?

Him:theladyyouf
oundinhere,shei
spar
tofthe
squad.Wecomeal ongway,sosheknewmyuncle
bett
er.it
rust
edherwithcont
act
ingmyuncle'
swif
e,
andmaki
ngot
herar
ragement
s.

Yohiwasbur
ningi
nsi
deshame.

Me:i
sshethesameoneihear
dovert
hephonet
he
ot
herday.

Hi
m:yes.

Me:oh,caret
oexplai
nwhati
sgoi
ngonbet
ween
youguys?.Imeanisawhowshewasl
ooki
ngat
youwhenigothere.

Him:seriously?,nowofallti
mes?.Ij
usttol
dyou
aboutmyl oss,andyouarebusyaskingmest upi
d
quest
ioni nsteadofcomforti
ngme.Idonthavet i
me
toentert
ainyouri nsecur
iti
esri
ghtnow,atl
eastMia
genui
nel ycaresabouthowif eel
.Iwontbeneeding
yourrideanymor e,youcanleave.
Hehguys, ifel
tlikeijustshitmysel f
.Hiswor dst
ore
meapar t,myintentionwasn' ttocomeout
i
nsensiti
ve.Ijustwant edtoknowsi ncethisMia
l
adywast hetrustedoneofal lt
hings.Herlooks
towardsmesai dalotofthingst ome, butnowiam
thebadguy.Tomakei twor se,thatMiagirlr
etur
ed
withaglassofmi l
kandcooki es.Yohiwasnot
goingtoembar rassmysel fmor e,
especial
lyinfr
ont
ofher.Ijustwalkedout ,bumpi ngintotheSbuguy
ont hepassage.

Hi
m:l
eavi
ngal
ready?

Me:yep.

Hi
m:it
houghtyouwer
eher
etof
etchSt
eel
.

Me:Mi
awi
llt
akecar
eofhi
m,excuseme.
Iquicklymademywayout ,goti
nmycaranddr ove
off
.Hi swor dswer est
il
lri
ngingi
nmyhead, ij
ust
couldn'tunderstandwhyhewoul dburstoutonme
l
ikethat .Iknowhei smourning,
butthatwas
uncalledf or
.IturnedEminem onful
lblast
,astears
ranoffmyf ace.

Soaft
erayearandsi
xmont
hs,
it'
snol
ongerme
t
hatyouwant
I
nser
t101

ButIl
oveyousomuchi
thur
ts,
nevermi
str
eat
ed
youonce
I'
l
lpourmyhear
toutt
oyou,
letdownmyguar
d,
sweartoGod
I'
l
lblowmybr
ainsi
nyourl
ap,
layher
eanddi
ein
yourarms
30mi nuteslateriar
ri
vedhome,iparkedmycar.
Theniunl ockedthehouse,asir
anupstai
rs.Ij
ust
gotinsidethiscoldshower,
thewayiwasheating
upinside.Thecol dshowerwasexactl
ywhati
needed.
30minuteslaterideci
dedtogetoutanddri
edmy
bodyandwor eagown.Ir eal
lyhadtodealwit
hthis
onmyown, ireallycoul
dn'
talwaysruntoKeneil
we
ever
yti
met hingsdontgomyway.Justt henmy
phonerangandi twasTsholo.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:heybabe,
areyouokay?

Me:iwi
llbef
inebabe.

Her:youdoknowt
hatwear
eher
ewheneveryou
needus,ri
ght
?
Me:yesiknowbabe,
thankyou.

Her
:nopr
obl
em,
byef
ornow.

Shehungup, t
heni deci
dedtolot
ionandworemy
warm pj
s.thengotinbed.Itwasonly5pm,
buti
wasemot i
onall
ydrainedshame.Ihadnostr
engt
h
tof
ight,
orevenargue.

☆Khant
sho☆

Aft
erDint
lewal
kedout
,iwasl
eftwit
hMia.She
handedmeaglassofmil
kandcooki
es,
theni
begantoeat
.

Her
:ever
ythi
ngokay?
,shel
ookedupset
.

Me:canwenotgot
her
epl
ease.Haveyoumadet
he
cal
lsiaskedyout
odo?

Her
:ohyes,andtheirbodi
esar
eal
readyinyour
motuar
y.Onlywait
ingwaiti
ngt
obefetchedbyt
hei
r
f
amili
es.

Me:gr
eat.Ineedt
ogohomenow,
whatdi
dmy
mom say?

Her:herp.
a.sai
dshewasst
il
lint
hemeet
ing.You
cantryherl
ater
.

Me:okay,gat
herever
yonei
nthel
ounge.Iam
coming.

Ihandedherbackthemil
kandcooki
es,
thenshe
walkedout
.JustthenSbuwal
kedin.
Hi
m:haveami
nut
e?

Me:5mi
nut
es,
iaskedMi
atogat
herever
yone.

Hi
m:ohMi
aagai
n.

Me:excuseme?

Him:steeliam nott
ryi
ngtodisr
espectyou,
butyou
arewrong.Allwrong.Miaisyourex,
orwhatever
youguyswer edoing.Youengagedheron
ever
ything,shut
ti
ngeveryoneout.
I
nser
t102

Okaymaybet hesquaddoesntmi nd,butwhatabout

theladyyouaskedmet ofetch?
.Wasntshe
supposetotakeyouhome?shel efthereupset
clai
mingthatMiawillt
akecareofyou.Donttel
lme
thatyouhaventnot
icedthatMiawant syouback,
andshewi l
lusethissituati
onathandt
oher
advant
age.Weal ll
ovedyouruncl e,
hewasour
fat
heraft
erourfathers.Invol
veustoo,
that
sal
liam
sayi
ng.

ThenSbuwal kedout ,l
eavi ngmef eeli
ngsost upi
d.
Hewasspoton, sor i
ghtaboutever ything.Nowi
understandwhymyuncl eal wayssangpr ai
seabout
Sbu'ssmar tmont h.Icanonl yimagi newhatmy
womani sgoingt hroughr ightnow.Iimmedi atel
y
tr
iedcalli
ngher ,butittookmest r
aightt ovoi
cemai l
.
Ij
ustwor emycl othes,sinceiwasonl ylef
twi t
hmy
shortandvest .Wheniwasdone, itookmyt hings
andwal kedtot heloungewher eifoundever yone
waiti
ngf orme.If i
rstl
ygr eetedthem.

Me:iknowimusthavehandl edthingswr ongaf t

er
ourloss,thankstothelikesofSbuf ortell
ingitli
kei
t
i
s.Iwasshut t
ingeveryoneout,forget
ti
ngt hatweall
i
nl oss.Pleasefor
giveme.Iam goi ngtohand
everythi
ngt oSbuandhewi l
ldistr
ibut
et hewor kto
eachandever yoneofyou.Thi ngsl i
kedonat i
ngthe
moneyt ot hefami l
ies,andmaki ngsur et
heyhave
dignif
iedfunerals.Asf orthegi gs,iwonteverbe
partofit.Thereisal otofmoneyf rom thelastgi
g,
sowear egoingt oshar eitequallyandgoour
seperateways.Iam def ini
tel
ynotgoi ngtotakeover
aftermyuncl e.

Sbu:Iam proudofyouSt eel

,iam sur
eeveryone
her
ecanagr eewithmet hatweal lal
mostdiedl
ast
ni
ght.Losingourboss,andother6squadmember s
i
noneni ghtwasdefini
tel
yasi gn.

Me:icoul
dn'tagreemore.thankyouf orallyour
l
oyalt
ythr
oughoutt hoseyears.Wishi
ngyoual lt
he
besti
neverythi
ngyouchooset odoinfuture.

Theyal
lcametofi
stbumpme, andRubyhugged
me.ThenMiast
oodinfrontofme.
Her
:sot
hisi
sit
?

Me:yep,
doneanddust
ed.
I
nser
t103

Her
:iunderst
and,justknowt
hatiwi
llal
waysbe
t
herewhereveryouneedme.

Me:idoubtiwi
ll
,butt
hankyou.

Ifi
nallywalkedtoSbu, andgavehi m akeytomy
uncle'
ssaf eforthefundshehadt odist
ri
butet
othe
famili
esoft hemember swhodied.Theniasked
himt odropmehome, hewasmor ethanhappyto
bedoi ngallthat
.Andiknewever yt
hingwasgoing
togoi norder,withouthiddenagendas.
30minut
esl
aterhedr
oppedatt
hegat
eanddr
ove
of
f.
Imademywayi
nsi
de,
ical
ledoutf
orherbutt
her
e
wasnor esponse.Iqui
cklyranupstai
rstoourr
oom,
andifoundherpeacefull
ysleepi
ng.Butshewas
sweat
ing,mor el
ikewetwithsweat.Igentl
ywoke
her
,sheslowlyopenedhereyesandsatup.She
wasseriousl
yheatingup.

Me:babyyouar
eheat
ingup,
iam t
aki
ngyout
oa
doct
or.

Her
:sonowyoucar
e?

Me:babypleasel
etsnotdot
hisnow,j
ustwearyour
shoesiam noti
nagoodspacetoexamineyou.

Shesilentl
ymovedoutofbed, shewor eher
morningsl eepersandgown.It ookhercarkeys
si
ncet heywer ecloseby,wewal keddownstai
rsand
walkedout .Ilockedthehouse, t
hendr oveof
f.Asi
madeacal ltochecki fthi
sNiger i
afr
iendofmine
wasst i
llathispr acti
ce,
lucki
lyhewas.
20mi nut eslaterwear ri
ved, itseemedl ikethey
wereaboutt ocl osebecauset herewasnoqueue
andt her eceptionistwaspacki ngup.Wegr eeted
her,andt oldhert hatDrAkum wasexpect i
ngus.
Thenwewal kedt ohisof f
ice, iknockedoncet hen
hecal l
edusi n.Hel aughedwhenhesawme, maybe
wonder ingwhyicoul dn'tdot hej obmysel f.We
settl
eddown, asiexplainedt hecondi ti
onif ound
Dintl
ei n.HeaskedaboutDi ntle'
speriods,butDi nt
le
quicklytoldhi m aboutthel oop.HeaskedDi ntl
et o
undressandl ieont hebed, ashecheckedt hatloop.

Hi
m:wel
lwhenwast
hel
astt
imeyouhadi
tchecked?

Bae:i
tsbeenawhile,
ihadal
ott
odo.Ievenf
orgot
togeti
tcheckedup.
I
nser
t104

Him:welli
tmoved,itwasn'
tintheposi
ti
oni
twas
supposeto.That
'swhatthecheckupsaref
or.So
nowther
eisa99per
centpossi
bil
it
ythatyoumight
bepr
egnantma'
am,andihavetoremovethi
sloop
now.

Me:canweat l
eastdoul
tr
asoundscanj
ustt
o
conf
ir
m al
lthese.

Hi
m:of
cause,
let
sgetr
ightoni
t.

Akum gotrightoni t
,justl
ikehepr edi
ctedwewere
twomont hspr egnant.myhear tmadeal i
ttl
e
gwaragwara, Butquicklygotscaredwhenisaw
tear
sfalloffherface.Akum wal kedoutgivi
ngus
thespace,iquicklyheldherhand.

Me:babyiam her
e,andiam notgoi
nganywher
e.
Pl
easedontcr
y.

Her
:(
bet
weenhert
ear
s)wecanthavet
hisbaby
Khant
sho,
icant
.

Yoh,thosewordsbr
okeme.Howcanshesayt
hat
,
haven'tipr
ovenmysel
fenought
oher
?

Me:babywewi
llt
alkwhenwegethome.Okay?

Shenoddedinagreement, t
henAkum cameback,
andaskedtoremovet heloop.Hedid,
thengaveher
al
lthevi
taminsandsupplement s.Wewalkedout
,
andpayedattherecepti
on.
Theridehomewassosi lent,idi
dntevenfeell
ike
playi
nganymusic.Shewasl ookingoutthewindow
thewholeti
me.Ikeptaskingmysel fwhyshedi dnt
wanttohavemybaby, orisittherecentevent
s
maybe? .
iwi
llj
usthavetofindoutwhenweget
home.
WedrovepastMcDonal
d'sf
orsomet
akeaways,
t
hendrovehome.
15mi
nut
esl
aterwear
ri
ved,
andshewal
kedi
nsi
de
thehousef i
rst
.It
ookthepaperbags, andlocked
thecar.Theniwenti
nside,
iplacedthet akeaways
onthekitchencount
erandwentupst airstojoi
nher
.

Ijustcoul dn'
tbeli
evet hatiwaspregnant,t
here
wer enosi gnsofpr egnancy.Somuchwas
happeni ngbetweenmeandKhant sho,ij
ustdi
dnt
thinkwewer ereadyt ohaveababy.Hef i
nall
y
wal kedint hebedroom, andsatbesi
deme.Islowly
satup, sincewewer egoingtotal
k.

Hi
m:babywhat
swr
ong?
,pl
easebehonestwi
thme.

Me:itstoosoonKhantsho,
ithasntevenbeena
yearsincewestar
teddati
ng.
I
nser
t105

Him:sowhat?,iam r
eadyt
ohavet hisbabywi t
h
youDint
le.Ti
mecannotdeter
minemyl oveforyou,
i
mustadmi ti
twasntthewayiimaginedt hi
ngs.But
iwontchi
ckenout
,iwi
llbewi
thyouever
yst
epof
theway.

Me:whataboutMia?
,imeansheist
heonewho
genui
nel
yunderst
andshowyoufeel
.

Him:Di ntlecomeon, stopbei

ngchil
dishman.Cant
youseet hatiam seri
ousaboutyou,ihavedone
nothingbutshowyouhowmuchyoumeant ome.
Mi ausedt obeoneoft hefuckbuddi
esiusedt o
have, butimeantitwhenisaidiwasdonewi t
hthat
l
ife.Iloveonlyyou, t
hiswholethi
ngisti
ringnow.I
am goi ngtocallmymom.

Justliket
hat,hewalkedout.Wasir eal
lybei
ng
chil
dishthough?,imeaniam st i
lltr
yingtogetmy
l
ifeinorder.Ababywast helastt hi
nginmymi nd.I
tol
dmysel fthatiwouldn'
tbotherKeneilwewithmy
problems,butthist
imeineededhersmar tmouth.
*
phonecal
l*
Her
:Myl
ove,
howar
eyou?

Me:chi
ldi
shasal
ways.

Her
:okaywhat
'sgoi
ngonnow?

Me:iam overwhel
medNeil
we,iam pr
egnantand
scar
edofraisi
ngthebabyal
one.

Her:al
one?
,whywoul dyourai
sethebabyal
one?.I
meancongratul
ati
onsbabe,ababyisawonder
ful
gi
ft
.Nomat tert
hecir
cumstance.Di
dyouguysfi
ght?

Me:hi
sfuckbuddi
eskeepsonappeari
ngNeil
we,
whati
fonedayheleavesmeforoneofthem?

Her
:okaynowyouar
ereal
lybei
ngchi
ldi
sh,
andi
wontsugar coatit
.Ar eyoualwaysgoingt otortur
e
him becausehehasex' sandyout hi
nkhemi ghtgo
backtot hem? .Gi
rlyouneedt ogrowupandf ast
becauseyouar egoingt obeamot hersoon.That
manwontl eaveyou, onlyyouar
et heonewhoi s
goingtochasehi m awaywi t
hyourchildi
shmi ndset
.
Whyi sitsohar dtobelieveinhi
m Dintl
e?,haveyou
evercaughthi mrighthandedcheat i
ngonyou?

Me:
(sof
tl
y)no.

Her :wellhei
sgoingtogetti
redofalways
defendinghimsel
f.justl
eavehimifyouarenot
readyt obehiswoman.Andcomebackt othedust
y
streetsofvaal
,
I
nser
t106

thenletthosei
mmaturelowl
ifeboyspl
ayyou.
Becauseyoucanthandlematuredoct
orsl
ike
Khantsho.MakeachoiceDee.
Shehungup, yetagainifeltst
upidandi mmat ure.
JustthenKhant showal kedinwi t
hourt akeaways,
dishedont heplates.Hehandedmemypl ate,aswe
ateinsilent
.Whenwewer edone, hetookourpl at
es
goingbackt otheki t
chenwi t
hthem.If eltl
ikeshit
shame, Khantshoi sagoodmanandhewas
defini
tel
ygoingt obeagoodf ather.Hereturned
back,ashet ookof fhisclot
hesandgoti nbed.I
tookthischancet ocleartheair
.

Me:babycanwet
alk?

Him:Di
ntl
eidontwanttohearyourapol
ogies
pl
ease,
iam t
iredandist
il
lhavetoorgani
semy
uncl
e'
sfuner
al.

Me:iwi
llneverdoubtyoueveragain.Iloveyouso
muchandihaver eal
isedhowchildi
shihavebeen.
Pl
easedontgiveuponmebaby, iam readytobe
t
hemot
herofyourchi
ld.

Hel ookedatmeandsmi led,t

akingmyl i
psi ntohis.
Thenhegent l
ymademel iedown, notbreaki ngthe
kiss.Thenhesl owlyremovedmypj s,aswebot h
gotnaked.Hebegant okissmyni pplesandr ubbed
mycl it.Hesuckedmyni ppleashebegant or ubmy
cliti
naci r
cularmot i
onandijustlostit.Ijust
moanedoutl oud,andheappliedmor epr essur eon
mycl itandrubbeditfast
erandf asteruntili
releasedallmyj ui
cesonhishand.
Withoutwastinganyhepushedhi sshaftinsidemy
wetcookie.Hegavei ttomedeepandhar d,his
ri
ghthandr eachedmycl itandrubbeditwhi l
e
thrust
inginandoutofme.Ever ythi
ngfeltsoper f
ect,
ididntwanthimt ostop.Whenhedeepenedhi s
str
okes,webot hlostitasmymoanscompet edwith
hisgroans.Hekeptongi vingittomedeepl yand
passionat
ely,unti
lwebot hcame.
Wewer etooti
redtomovet
otheshower
,wej
ust
gotunderthecover
sandsl
ept
.
Amont hlater,hi
suncl
ewasgivenadigni
fi
ed
funeral
.Thef uner
alwashel
dathishousei
n
Centuri
on,iwasevenabletoseebae'
smom but
onlyinpassingbecauseshewastooemoti
onal
.
I
nser
t107

ItwasSaturdaymor ni
ngandibusycooki ngastorm
forbae'
smom.Iwasgoi ngtobeoffi
cial
ly
i
ntroduced,
andwewer egoingtoshar
et hegood
newswi t
hher .Iwasprayi
ngthatsheli
kesme, and
neverhaveanybadvi bes.Whil
eiwasbusycooki ng,
Khantshowalkedupt omeandhel dmef rom
behind.

Hi
m:ar
eyousur
eyoudontneedanyhel
p?

Me:iam sur
ebaby,
haveyoupr
epar
edt
hepool
side?
Him:yesma'
am,andMavishasal
readyl
eftf
or
somewomenprayer
.Ihopeyouwontbeneeding
her.

Me:nah,
igotever
ythi
ngundercont
rol
.

Him:wellmymot herisal
readyonherway, sogo
andprepareyour
self.Iwi
llwatchoverher
e.

Iquickl
yt urned,
andweki ssedbr i
efly.Theniran
upstair
st otakeaquickshower .Il
ovedt hefactthat
iwasst i
llnotshowingthatiwasexpect i
ng,andi
didnthaveanywei r
dcr avingsorevenmor ni
ng
si
ckness.Iwasdef ini
telyenjoyi
ngmypr egnancy,
andi wasr eadytobeamot hermor ethananythi
ng.
Thankst omysuppor ti
veman, wit
hhi m bymysidei
knewicoul dbeatanything.
Wheniwasdoneshower
ing,iworemyl ongf
loral
dresswi
thmat
chi
ngsandals.Thenif
ixedmyf ace
andweave.
Whenigotdownstai
rs,Khantshohadgoneto
at
tendthedoor
.Secondslaterhecamelaughi
ng
wi
thhismom.
Ayell
owbone,thi
ckandbeaut
if
ulst
yli
shwomani
haveevermet
.
Whenshesawmeshesmi led,andwal
keduptome
assheopenedherarmsf
orahug.Myheartdanced,
iknewforsur
ethatweweregoingt
ohavea
beaut
if
ulday.

Minuteslat
erwebr okethehug,andshewasst i
ll
maintai
ningthatbeauti
fulsmil
e.Iunder
stoodvery
wellwhereKhantshogothi sl
ooks.

Her:youarearealSout
hernAf
ri
canSot howoman,
yel
low,thi
ck,
roundfaceandChineseeyes.

Khant
shoandil
aughed.
Me:t
hankyouma.

Her:alt
houghyoul ookl
ikesomeoneiknow, orused
toknow.Butijustcantputmymi ndoni t
,butworry
notbecauseyouj ustearnedyourselfamot heri
n
me.Donthesit
atet oaskforanything,Khantshoi
am proudofyouson.
I
nser
t108

Icouldn'thelpblush,asshehelpedmet ake
Stainl
essSt eelFoodBowl soutsi
deatthepoolsi de.
Weal lsettl
eddown, holdi
ngal i
ghtconversati
on.
Weevenmanagedt otel
lherthatshewasgoi ngto
beagr anny, t
heexcitementthathither
.Yohshe
wasevent el
li
ngKhant shoaboutpayinglobola
beforeigivebirth.Iwasmor ethanhappyshame,
beingwel comedbyhi smothermeanteverythingto
me.

☆Khant
sho☆
Iwassohappyt hatmymom l ovedDi ntle,iwas
seri
ouslynotlookingforwar
dt ochoosi ngbetween
thewomanil oveandmymot her.Seeingt hem
connecteff
ortlessl
y,meanteverythi
ngt ome.We
spentthewhol edaywi t
hher,whiletalkingaboutan
awesomegr andmashewasgoi ngtobe.Andhow
ourbabyisgoi ngtobespoil
edandt raveltheworld
withher.
Around6pm, shesai
dhergoodbyesandlef
t.She
saidsomethingabouthavingatri
ptocapet
own
tomorrow.Greenli
ghtswer eon,
iwasonlyl
eftt
o
mar r
ytheloveofmylife.
Iwasnowbusyhel pingherwi t
hthedisheswhi l
e
l
ist
eningtomusi c.Shewashappyt hatourlunch
wentwell,shejustcouldn'
tstopcompl i
matingmy
mother.Ijustcoul
dn'thelpbutlaughatherevery
comment .Justthenmyphoner ang,iwipedmy
handsandt ookoutmyphone.andi twasSbu.
*
phonecal
l*
Hi
m:St
eel
,sor
ryf
ori
nter
upt
ingyouonaSat
urday.

Me:noi
tscool
,what
sup?

Him:iknowweabor tedeverythi
ngne,butijust
couldn'
tstopi
nvest
igati
ng.Sof oundoutthatour
i
nsidemanwaski ll
edandsl aughter
ed.Hi
sbody
part
swer esentt
ohisfamily.

Me:what
?,sowhatnow?

Him:iam highl
yaler
t,j
ustincasetheRussi
ans
wanttorevengeonallofus.Althoughi
tshi
ghl
y
i
mpossiblebecauseiheardthattheymovedback
home.

Me:wel
lthat
sgr
eatnews.Butt
hati
nsi
deman'
s
f
amil
yneedstobetakencar
eof.
Him:alldonesi
r,if
oundhi
sshar
einyouruncl
e'
s
safe.

Me:goodjobman,t
hankyousomuchf
ort
he
updat
e.Anddontbeastr
anger
.
I
nser
t109

Hi
m: (
laughed)of
cause,butiwil
lbet
aki
ngmy
f
amilytodubainextmonth.Iwashardl
yhome,
i
t
hinkitsti
meimadei tuptothem.

Me:haveabl
issf
uloneman.

Hi
m:t
hankyousi
r.

Hehungup,andmywomanwasdonewi t
ht he
di
shes.Welockedt
hehouseandwentupstair
s.We
hadanormalshowerandsl
ept
.
Weekswentbyandmywoman' sbabybumpwas
start
ingtoshow.I twasnowmyf avourit
eparton
herbody, buthermoodswi ngswer etaki
ngmet o
hellandback.Atleastiknewthereasonbehind
them, soiwouldjustbepatientunt
ilsheapologi
se.
Lolstoryofmyl i
fe.
ItwasWednesday, andiwasbusywi thpat
ient
sas
alwayswhenisawmymot herknockonmyof fi
ce
door.Isignall
edhert owal ki
nsi nceiwasdone
writ
ingpr escr
ipt
ionsf ormypat i
ent.Shesettl
ed
down, andiaskedmyr ecept
ionistt
oholdupabi t
onsendi nginpatients.Asigavemymom abi tof
myt i
me, becauseshewasnotl ookingwell
.
Somet hi
ngwaseat ingherup.

Me:andwhatbri
ngsmybeauti
fulmot
herher
e,
becauseiknowshehar
dlymi
ssesme.

Her
:(
laughed)st
opit
,imi
ssyouever
yday.Ij
ustget
r
eal
lybusyattimes.
Me:
mmm,
okay.Sowhatcanidof
oryou?

Her
:i'
dli
ket
oseeyouandDi
ntl
e,i
tsver
yur
gent
.

Me:awma,
what
swr
ongnow?

Her:icantsayi
ther
e,iwi
llmeetyouatyourhouse
t
onightaround7pm.MakesureDint
leishometoo,
i
tjustcantwait
.

Thenshesai dhergoodbyesandwal kedout.Iwas

l
eftwonderingwhatcouldbesour gent,andneeded
meandDi ntle.Ideci
dedtocallmywoman, even
thoughiknewshewasi nschool.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:mycooki
eowner
.
Me:
(laughed)mydi
ckowner
,howar
eyou?

Her
:ver
ygood,
nowt
hatyoucal
led.

Me:(l
aughed)ohiam gl
ad.Mymom justlef
tmy
offi
ce,shewant
stoseethebothofusaround7pm
toni
ght.Andshesai
ditwasurgent
.

Her
:oh,
maybei
tsaboutt
hel
obol
aorsomet
hing.

Me:ohya,whatift
heywantustosear
chforyour
fat
herbaby.Imeanyouknowhowoldpeoplecan
get.
I
nser
t110

Her:yohbabyihopenot,
becauseiwontevenknow
wheretostar
tlooki
ng.
Me:l
etsnotst
ressabouti
tmyl
ove.Wewi
llj
ust
wai
tformymom t oni
ght
.

Her
:okaymyl
ove.Il
oveyousomuch.

Me:il
oveyoumor
eMr
sMoeket
si,
anddontst
arve
mybaby.

Shelaughedandhungup.Ij
ustcont
inuedwi
thmy
work.

Aft
erKhant
sho'scal
l,
ireal
lyprayedt
hati
twasnot
t
heissueofseeki
ngformyf at
her.
Therestofthedaywasjustcl
assesasusual
.Af
ter
schoolidr
ovestrai
ghthome,becauseiwant
edt
o
cookforbae'smom.
Anhourl
aterwheniwasdonecooki
ng,iwentt
o
t
akeashower.Wheniwasdone,iworemylong
sl
eevedkneel engthyellowdress.Il
eftmyface
natural, andt i
edmyweavei naneatbun.Justthen
Khant showal kedin,hekissedmycheekand
walkedt ot heshower.Itwasnow6: 30pm,andi
knewt hathi smotherwasonherway.Iwent
downst airstopreparethetable,
andmadesur e
everythingwasper fect.
Minuteslatertherewasaknockont hedoor,iwent
toatt
endi tanditwasher .Webriefl
yhugged, t
heni
l
edhert othet able.Khantshoalsojoinedus,andwe
atebefor
ewecoul dgettotheissueathand.When
wewer edoneeat ing,
Khant shoandiclearedthe
tabl
eandbr oughtdesert.Iguessitwasnowt i
meto
heartheur gentissue.

Her:mychil
drenihopeyouwil
lbeabl
etosurvi
ve
whatiam aboutt
osharewit
hyou.It
snoteasyto
evensayi
twi t
hmyownmout h.

Bae:mamacomeon,
sayi
tal
ready.I
sitt
hel
obol
a
i
ssue?
Her:no,thi
sonei shugeandi twil
lcomplet
ely
changeyourlivesforever.Rememberwhenif ir
st
sawDi ntl
eididsayshel ookedli
kesomeoneiknew.
22year sago,yourfathercheat
edonmewi ththis
otherwomanf r
om Tshirel
a(Boi
patong)
.Bythe
nameofPul aneTut u.

Ichokedonmydesert,andmi stakenl
ypushedmy
bowlandbrokei
ntopieces.Istooduponmyf eetas
idi
dntli
kewherethi
swasgoi ng.

Me:whati
sthi
s?,
whatdoyoumeanma?
.

Bae:okaybabycal
m down,
whoi
sPul
aneTut
u?
I
nser
t111

Me:i
tsmymot herKhant
sho,
Tutuwasthesur
name
sheusedbef
oreshewasmar r
iedbySi
mon.
Khant
shostoodupt
oo,
ithi
nkhewasal
ready
get
ti
ngitt
oo.

Her
:mychil
drenj
ustcal
m downandl
etmeexpl
ain.
Pl
easesi
tdown.

Me:no,iwi
llbefi
nestandi
nghere.Pl
easedontt
ell
meitswhatithi
nkiti
splease.

Tear
swer ealreadyfall
ingoffmyf ace.Ij
ustdidnt
wanttobeli
evet hethoughtsrunni
ngi nmymi nd.
Andwhenil ookedupt oher,tear
swer efall
ingoff
herf
aceaswel l
.Thataloneconfir
medmyt houghts.

Bae:mom pl
ease,
pleaset
ellmet
hatwear
enot
rel
ated.

Her
:(
bet
weenhert
ear
s)iam r
eal
lysor
rymysonf
or
breaki
ngt
hist
oyouguys.Butyouguysshar
ea
father
.

Hehguys, haveyoueverf oundlovemar a?.At rue

l
ovet hatgaveyouhopei nlif
e?,thenl at
eronyou
fi
ndoutt hatyouact uall
yfoundahal fbrother.Ihalf
brotherthathasfuckedyoucount lesstimes, ahalf
brotheryouhavef all
endeepl yi
nl ovewi th,anda
halfbrotherwhogotyoupr egnant.nowt hatwas
mywor stnight
mar e,andtherewasnocomeback
fr
om t hat.
Iranupstairsandlockedmyselfi
n,andtossed
myselfont hebed.iplacedmyheadsetson,turned
tothelasthighestvol
ume.AsiaskedBill
ieEili
shto
helpmeescapet hi
shor r
ibl
eni
ghtmare.

It
ri
edt
oscr
eam
Butmyheadwasunder
wat
er
Theycal
ledmeweak
Li
keI
'
m notj
ustsomebody'
sdaught
er
Coul
dabeenani
ght
mar
e
Buti
tfel
tli
ket
heywer
eri
ghtt
her
e
Andi
tfeel
sli
keyest
erdaywasayearago
ButIdon'
twannal
etanybodyknow
'
Causeever
ybodywant
ssomet
hingf
rom menow
AndIdon'
twannal
et'
em down
I
nser
t112

☆Khant
sho☆

Mymom musthavemi
staken,
itcantbe.Notwi
th
Di
ntl
e,shei
smine.

Me:mom it
hinkyouar
emi
staken.

Her:
(betweenhert
ears)thi
siswhyimadean
appoint
mentwiththelapfort
omorr
ow.Ialsowant
tobesure,af
tert
omor rowwewil
lknowforsur
e.
Me:t
hiscantbe,
wear
eexpect
ingababyma.

Her:l
etsj
ustwaitfort
hetest
sson,wewilltakeit
fr
om ther
e.Fornowgoandmakesur eDintleis
okay.Iwi
llmeetyouguysatthel
aptomor r
ow.

Webr ieflyhugged, theniwal kedheroutandl ocked

thedoor .Ihadt hisbadheadache, iguessmymi nd
waswor kingover ti
me.If inallymademyway
upstairs,iknockedont hedoorsi nceitwasl ocked.
Butthewasnor esponse, soihadt ogobackt othe
kit
chent ogetaspar ekey.Theniwentbackand
unlocked.If oundherl ayingonbed, wi
thheadset s
on.Iwentt osettlenexttoherandr emovedt he
headset s.Shesl owl ysatup, wi t
hherpuf f
yeyes.I t
brokemyhear tseeingherl iket hat
,butitshat t
ered
meknowi ngthatshemi ghtbemyhal fsister.I
sil
entl
yhel dheri nmyar ms, thatswhatifeltlikewe
bothneeded.Mi nut eslatershepul ledoutofmy
arms, andl ookedatme.
Her
:whatwi
llhappent
ousnow?

Me:babypleasedontst
ress,
thi
nkaboutthebaby.
Mymom madeanappoi ntmentwit
ht hel
apfor
t
omor r
ow,iam surei
twil
lconfi
rmthatwearenot
r
elat
ed.

Her:butwhati
fwear e,sur
elyyourmom wont
approveofuscont
inuingtodate.I
nfacti
twil
lbe
tot
altaboo.

Me:mylovelet
ssleep,
wewi
lldealwi
thever
ythi
ng
af
tert
hetest
sresult
s.

Shenoddedi nagr eement

,aswesleptli
kethat
.With
ourclot
heson, iguesswebothemot i
onall
ydrai
ned.
Nooneknewt heout comeoft
omorrow,ionly
prayedthatt
het estscomesoutnegati
ve.
Thenextmor ningididntwanttowakeup, myfuture
dependedont hisday.Aft
ertodayimightbesingle
andpregnant.IknowKhant sholovesme,but
ci
rcumstancesar egoingtofor
ceust obreakup.I
sl
owlymovedoutofbed, tr
yingnottowakehim
I
nser
t113

Igott ot hebat hroom, andkneel eddownonmy

knees.Ihar dlypray, buttodayipour edmyhear tout
totheLor d.Tosavemyr elationship,ireallycouldn'
t
i
magi nemyl if
eashi ssibling.Itwasdef init
elynot
goingt owor k.Aftermyl i
ttl
epr ayer,iundr essed
andgoti nt heshower .Whi l
eiwasi ni t
,ifelthim
hugmef rom behi nd.I tf
eltsowr ong,iqui ckly
tur
nedandhel dhishands.Hej ustnodded
shamef ully,asiwal kedout .Leavi nghimi nthe
shower ,myhear twasbl eedi ngbecauseiwas
yearningf orhi stouch.Iqui cklyloti
onedbef orehe
ret
urns, iwasnowashamedt oseehi m nakedorl et
him seemenaked.Ij ustwor emykneel engthbl ack
deminjumpsuit,wi
thmyJordansneakers.ifi
xed
myf aceandweave.Thenipackedmyphonesand
purseinmyhandbagasimademywaydownst ai
rs.
Igotinthekit
chenandbeganonbreakfast.Wheni
wasdone, iset
tl
eddownanddecidedtocal lmy
smar tmouth.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:morni
ngmommy,
howar
eyout
hisbeaut
if
ul
morni
ng?

Me:notsobeaut
if
ulf
ormemyl
ove,
myf
utur
eis
dependi
ngonthi
sday.

Her
:dontt
ellmeyoumessedupagainDee,
thi
s
t
imeiwantyouonthef
ir
stbuscominghome
t
omorrowmorni
ng.

Me:
(l
aughed)youar
eser
iousl
ycr
azyNei
lwe.
Her:iam gl
adyoufinditf
unny,butiam ser
ious
Dee.Whenar eyougoingtost
op?

Me:welliwishi
twasme,at leastiwouldapologise
thenwewoul dmoveon.Butt histi
mei t
sbigger
thant
hebot hofusbabe.Todaywear egoi
ngt ofind
outwhetherKhant
shoandIar erel
atedornot.

Her:(
bust
edoutwithlaughter)nooff
encemyfri
end,
butKhantshoi
smor ehotterthanyou.Mor
eli
ke
10/0,Youguyscantberelatedshame.

Me:
(l
aughed)ohwow,
thanksal
otf
orr
emi
ndi
ngme
f
ri
end.

Her:
(l
aughed)onaseri
ousnot
eDee,
stoppl
ayi
ng
games.What'sr
eal
lygoi
ngon?
Me:apparent
lyKhantsho'
sdadcheatedwit
hmy
mom, 22yearsago.Sotodaywearegoingto
conf
ir
m whatwehear dfrom Khant
sho'
smom.
I
nser
t114

Her:WHAT? ,nowi
tmakessensewhyyouraunt
usedtocallyoua'
bast
ardchi
ld'
.Sotheyknewt
hat
yourfat
herwasmarri
edtoanotherwoman.

Me:ibetyouunder
standhowiam f
eel
ingr
ightnow.

Her:ohnobaby,
iam goi
ngt
oaskforaf
ewdaysof
f.
Iam comi
ngthatsi
detomor
row.

Me:noneedforallthatbabe,
youj ustfoundthatj
ob.
i
ftheresul
tscomesoutposi t
ive,iam comingback
home.Icantremainthissi
de,itwontwor k.

Her
:oh,
butwhataboutschoolDee?
.At
leastcome
t
hissi
deaf
terr
eci
evi
ngyourqual
if
icat
ion.

Me:iwi
llseebabe,
idontt
hinkiwi
llbeabl
etof
ocus.

Her
:doi
tforourbabypl
ease.

Me:wewi
llt
alkl
aterbabe.

Ihungup,
whenit
urnedif
oundKhantshost
andi
ng
behi
ndmewithhi
shandsinhi
spocket.

Hi
m:soyouar
egi
vinguponus?

Me:iam bei
ngreal
ist
icKhantsho,iwascall
eda
bast
ardchil
dandicouldn'
tunderstandwhy.But
nowitmakessense,myauntsknewt hatmymom
wasdati
ngamar ri
edman.
Hi
m:i
tcoul
dbeanymar
ri
edmanDi
ntl
e.

Me:l
etsnotf
ightaboutt
hispl
ease,
let
sgoeat
.

Hesi
lentl
ywalkedt
othet
abl
eandif
oll
owedhi
m.
Wesettl
eddownandatei
nsil
ent
.

☆Khant
sho☆

Dintl
ewasal r
eadydi
stant
,anditpainedmeso
much.I t
sli
keshealr
eadybeli
evedt hatwewere
relat
ed.Whil
ewewer eeat
ing,ir
ecievedalocat
ion
from mymom.
Whenwewer edoneeating,wewal
kedoutand
l
ockedthehouse.Webot hgoti
nmycaranddrove
of
ftothelabi
nPr et
ori
aEast.
30mi nut
eslat
erwearr
ived,andmymom was
wai
tingforusint
heparkinglot.Wegotoutofthe
car
,andmymom wal kedt oDintl
eastheybri
efl
y
hugged.Thenshecameupt
ome,
aswebr
ief
ly
huggedaswell.

Mom:what
evertheout
come,weneedtost
ick
t
oget
her
.Iam heref
orthebot
hofyou,
okay?

Webot
hnoddedi
nagr
eement
.

Mom:ihaveauntDorah'
ssampl ehere,
thelaptold
methatthemoregeneti
cinf
ormationavail
abl
e,the
gr
eatert
hechancethetestwi
llbeconclusi
ve.

Bae:auntDor
ah?
I
nser
t115

Me:shei
smyf
ather
'ssi
ster
.

Bae:oh,
okay.
wef inal
lymadeourwayi nside.Aladyinunif
orm
walkedtous, anddir
ectedust othewaiti
ngarea.As
shetookust hroughtheproceduresandt ol
dus
aboutcounselli
ng.Allt
histimeijustkepton
steal
ingglancesatDintl
e,thepaininherfacesaidi
t
al
l.
Minuteslaterwewerecalledinthi
spr i
vate
equippedroom,andsampl eswer etaken.Thenwe
wentbackt othewaiti
ngar ea,
aswewi l
lbegett
ing
result
safter45minutes.Wewer enotsaying
anythingtoeachother,weallhadconversati
onsin
ourheads.
45minutesl
aterthatstaffmemberwhotookour
sampl
escamebackwi thther
esul
ts.Weallst
ood
upwait
ingforhimtot al
k.

Him:Ifther
esultcomesbackaround25%, thenthe
twoofyouar emostli
kel
yhalfsibl
ings.I
fyouend
upshar i
ngli
tt
leornoDNA,thenyoupr obablyar
en'
t
rel
ated.Andifyoushar
e50%, youmaybef ul
l
si
bli
ng.Ar
eweal
ltoget
her
?

Weal
lnoddedi
nagr
eement
,asicoul
dn'
thel
pbut
t
abmyfoot.

Him:i
nt hecaseofDintleMokwenaandKhantsho
Moeketsi,
thednaresultcameout25%.Meani
ng
youaredefini
tel
yhalfsibl
ings.

Yohat earscapedmyeye, asisawDi ntl

ef aint.I
quicklyjumpedonherbef oreshehi tsthegr ound,
aswer ushedhert othenextbui l
dingsincei twas
theNet car ePretori
aEastHospi t
al.Whenigoti ni
screamedf orhelp,
andwewer ei mmedi ately
attended.Theywheel edherawayonast r
et cher,
thatsonl ytheninot i
cedt hatihadbl oodonmy
hands.Ibecamedumbst ruckasicoul dn'tmovemy
eyesawayf rom mybl oodyhands.Ionl ylookedup,
whenif eltsomeonet ouchmeandi twasmymom.
Shej ustopenedherar ms, all
owingmet ocr yinher
arms.IguessGodwaspuni shingme, foral lthe
peopleihavekil
ledduringourgigs.Doublepaini
n
oneday, yoht
hepai nwasdeep.Onceiwascal m,
weset t
leddownatt hewaiti
ngar ea.Somuchwas
happeninginmyl i
fe,andididntthinkiwasever
goingtobeatrightspaceagain.
I
nser
t116

Mymom evenwentt ogetussomesandwiches,

but
ijustcoul
dn'
tst
omachanythi
ngunt
ilihavehear
d
thedoctor
'sf
eedback.
2hour
slat
er,
thedoct
orcal
ledouthername.We
qui
ckl
ymadeourwaytohim.

Me:doct
orhowi
smywom.
..
imeanmysi
ster
?

Doc:shehadami l
dshock,butwemanagedt o
sedat
eher.Al
thoughherstressl
evelwastoohi
gh,
asaresul
tshelostthebaby.Iam r
eal
lysorr
y.
Afterthosewor dsicoul
dn'thearanythi
ngelsehe
wassayi ng.Ijustwentbacktowher ewewer e,and
settl
eddown.Icoul dn'
tstopmyt earsfrom f
all
ing,i
reall
ydi dntknowwhatt odo.Thepai nwas
unbear able,andiknewt hatDint
lewillf
eelworse
whenshewakesup.Ij ustburiedmyf aceinmy
hands, asiwentovert hememor i
esihadwi t
hher .

Amont hl ater,iwasst i
lltryi
ngt oputmyl ife
toget
her .idecidedtot akeKenei lwe'
sadvi ceof
complet i
ngmyqual ifi
cationf i
rst.Imovedoutof
Khantsho'shouse, inowl iveint hatfl
atnearmy
school.Ireallycouldntcont inuest ayingwi t
hhim,i
l
astsawhi mt hedayimovedout .Whichwasaf teri
wasdischar ged, 3weeksago.Hecal lstocheckup
onme, butweendupnotknowi ngwhatt osayto
eachot her.Hispract i
cei snotf arfrom myschool ,
butialwaysmakesur et hatweneverbumpi nt
o
eachot her.Ireall
ydontknowhowt obehave
aroundhi m, ievenrunoutofwor ds.Soi t
sbett
erif
wedontseeeachot her,andidealbet terwitht
he
painwhenhei sawayf rom me.
Ifi
nall
ymovedoutofbed, andmademybed.Theni
openedtheWi ndows,asimademywayt othe
shower.Wheniwasdoneshower i
ng,if
oundmy
otherphoneringi
nganditwasMr sMoeketsi.Ei
sh
sheisjustl
ikeherson,t
heyjustdontgi
veup.
*
phonecal
l*

Her:shefinal
lyanswer
edmycall
,Dint
lewear
eyour
famil
y.Stopshutti
ngusout
,Khant
shoisworr
ied
aboutyou.

Me:sor
ryaboutt
hatma,ihavebeenbusyt
ryi
ngt
o
cat
chuponschoolwork.
I
nser
t117

Her:iunderstandbaby,
butyoucouldhaveat
least
textedus.Pleasecomehavedinnerwit
hustonight
,
ireall
ycantleavethi
ssidewi
thoutseei
ngyou.
Me:oh,
iwi
llseewhaticando.

Her
:per
fect
,wewi
llbeexpect
ingyouat7pm.

Ihungup,asiloti
onedmybody.Andmyphone
rangagai
n,butthi
stimei
twasmysmartmouth.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:mor
ningmyl
ove,
howar
eyou?

Me:i
'
m okaybabe,
andyou?

Her:iam good.Youst
il
lsounddownl
iket
hepast
weeksDee.

Me:iam tryi
ngtodealwit
hever
ythi
ngt
hebestway
ican.Buticantdoi
twithKhant
shoandhi
smom
al
waysonmycase.

Her :babytheyaretr
yingt
obet her
eforyou,st
op
shut t
ingthem out
.Iknowitshardbecauseyouar
e
sti
llinlovewit
hKhantsho,
butgiveitt
ime.

Me:yesiam tyingt
ogiveitt
imebynothavingt
o
seehim,buthismotheri
nvit
edmefordinner
toni
ght.

Her:justgoandseehowitgoes,
itmi
ghthelpyou
getthebiggerpi
ctur
eyouhavebeenavoi
ding.

Me:iwi
llseebabe.

Her
:okayiam comi
ngthatsi
deonfr
iday,
wear
e
goi
ngtospendtheweekendt
oget
her
.
Me:
(scr
eami
ng)bestnewsieverhad.Icantwai
t.

Her
:(l
aughed)byef
ornow.

Shehungup, t
heni deci
dedtowearmywhi t
ecr op
top,bl
ueboyfr
iendjeanandwhitenikesneakers.I
didntl
ooksobad,plusihavelostsomekilos.Ifixed
myf aceandweave.Thenitookmybagandwentt o
thekit
chen.Ij
usthadacereal,t
henilockedthef lat
anddr ovet
oschool.

☆Khant
sho☆

Imanagedt oret
ur ntowor kaweekago, only
becausemymom spokesomebusi nesssensei n
myhead.Sher emi ndedmehowhar dihavewor ked
fort
hatpracti
ce,thatwasmot i
vati
onalenoughf or
met opickmyselfup.Ir eal
lycantstopthinki
ng
aboutDintl
e,nomat terhowmuchit ry.Fewweeks
agoaftershemovedout ,imadeitahabi ttosleep
atthest
ripclubs.Iguessiwast r
yingtofl
ushout
thememor i
es,buticouldn'
t.Iknowitsoundssi
ck,
butiam sti
llsomuchi nl
ovewi t
hher,
I
nser
t118

andi
sti
llf
indhersomuchat
tr
act
ive.
Iwasinterupt
edf rom mythoughts,
byaknockon
myof f
icedoor .It
oldthepersontocomein,andi
wassur pr
isedt oseeMiawal ki
n.Shelookedreal
ly
pret
tyinhertightreddress.
Shef
inal
lyset
tl
edi
nfr
ontofme.

Her:howar eyouK?,yourmom tol

dmeabi tabout
whatyouar egoingt
hrough.Iam r
eal
lysor
ryabout
yourloss.

Me:iwi
llbef
ine,
thankyou.Sowhatbr
ingsyout
his
si
de?
Her
:jobhunt
ing,
icantj
ustspendmoneywi
thout
maki
ngmoney.

Me:butt
hemoneywemadefrom t
helastgi
g,was
enought
ohel
pyoust
artupsomethi
ngofyourown.

Her
:wel
linevert
houghtt
hatf
ar.

Me:okayiknowyouMi
a,youar
enotonsomej
ob
hunt
ing.Ar
eyou?

Her:okayfine,
yougotme.Icareal
otaboutyouK,
andafteriheardwhatyouaregoi
ngthr
ough.I
thoughtyoumi ghtneedaf
ri
end.

Me:ohisee,
butasyoucanseeiam doi
ngj
ustf
ine.

Her
:isee.Howaboutani
cecr
eam dat
etomor
row,
j
ustli
ketheol
ddays.Ipr
omiseif
orceyoudo
anyt
hingyoudontwantt
odo.

Me:okayf
ine,
seeyout
omor
rowt
hen.

Shesaidhergoodbyesandwal kedout.Justwheni
wasabouttocalli
nt hepati
ent,inoti
cedthatMi a
for
gotherphoneonmydesk.It ooki
tandqui ckl
y
mademywayout ,butwhenigoti nt
heparkinglot
shewasalreadygone.Ijusttosseditinmypocket
andwentbacktowor k.
I
nser
t119

Afterschoolidecidedtodri
vet othemal l
,j
usttoget
somet hi
ngni cetowearforthedinner.Ihaventseen
himf oroverthreeweeks,soijustwantedt ol
ook
good.Itsoundssi ck,
butiwantedt ol
ookgoodf or
him.Maybeaf t
ertonight
,iwil
lfi
nall
yacceptt hathe
i
smyhal fbrother.
Whenigott
othemal
liwentst
rai
ghtt
oTheFi
x,and
igotmysel ft
hissexybl
ackleatherlookhalterneck
zip,backlaceandbackclubweardr ess.Iwas
defini
tel
ygoingtogethi
sundi videdattent
ionwith
thisone.Ipayed,t
heniwenttot hesalon.Ididnt
feelli
kehavingaweaveont onight,sowhenigott o
thesalonichose"Lemonadebr aids".
Whent heyweredonewithmyhead, isur
erocked
thathai
rst
yle.I
twasnow10mi nut
esto6,soi
payed.Gotinmycar,anddrovehome.
15mi nut
eslat
eriar
ri
vedhome,
iwentst
rai
ghtt
o
theshower.

Wheniwasdone, idr
iedandlotionedmybody.
Theniwor emynewdr ess,
toppingitwi
thmyred
highheels.If
ixedmyf ace,
addingtheredmatt
e
l
ipsti
ck.Iwasagi r
lonami ssionshame,as
shamelesslyasitmaysoundbutiwant edcl
osure.
Wheniwasdonewitheveryt
hingi
twasal
ready
7pm,andiknewiwasgoingtobesomeminutes
l
ate.
Ifi
nal
lymademywayout ,lockedt
hef
latandgotin
mycarasiplayedAri
anaGr andet
opr
eparemef or
thedi
nneriwasabouttohave.

Causei
fyouwanttokeepme,
yougot
tagot
ta
got
tagott
agott
olovemeharder
Andifyoureal
lyneedme,
yougot
tagot
tagot
ta
got
tagott
agott ol
ovemehar
der
(
Got
tal
ovemehar
der
)
Loveme,
loveme,
loveme
Har
der
,har
der
,har
der

20mi nutesl
ateriar
ri
ved,andpar kedmycar .Itt
ook
mesomemi nutesbeforeicouldfinal
lywalkt othe
door.Iknockedonce,secondsl at
erthedoorwas
openedbyhi m.Hestoodt herewithoutsayi
ng
anyt
hing, wi
thhismouthdr opped.Ismiledinside
seei
ngt hatmissi
onaccompl ished,butiqui
ckl y
composedmysel fwhenisawhi smot herappear
behi
ndhi m.
Her:Khant
shoi
tsver
yrudet
ost
are,
comei
nmy
baby.
I
nser
t120

Ismiledasshet ookmyhandl eadi

ngmet oawell
preparedt
ablewi t
hlot
soff oodonit
.Isett
leddown
withMr sMoeketsi,
Khantshocameaf t
ersome
minutes.Webegant oserveoursel
ves,wi
th
Khantshosteal
ingglancesatme.

Mr
sMoeket
si:sohowi
sschool
?

Me:notsobad,
wewi
llbepr
epar
ingf
orf
inalexams
soon.

Her:t
hatsver
ygood.Ispokewit
hauntDor
ah,they
al
lagreedtodoyourwelcomi
ngcer
emonyfir
st
weekofdecember.
Khant
sho:oh,
sosoon?

Her
:whatdoyoumeansosoon?,
Dint
leneedst
o
meetherf
ather
'sf
ami
lyandt
heywanttomeether
t
oo.

IsawKhant shoswall
owhard,andiknewhewas
suff
eringasmuchasiwas.Thi swholethingwas
hardforthebothofus,andnowthathismot her
mentionedtheceremony.webothknewt hatitwas
real
lyover,andwewerebothnotreadytoletgo.

Aftereat
ing,
hismotheraskedmetocomehelpher
preparet
hedesert
.Wecl ear
edthetabl
eandwalked
tothekit
chen.Aswebeganpr epar
ingt
hedeser
t.

Her
:youst
il
llovehi
m,dontyou?
Me:uhm.
..
itdoesntmat
terma.

Her:wellyouneedt ost
opmybaby, releasehi m
fr
om yourhear tandmoveon.Thesooneryoumove
on,thebetter
.Youguysneedt oburythef eeli
ngs
youhavef oreachother
,becausethefami lywontbe
sounder st
andingwhenthetimeforthecer emony
comes.Youal lneedtomoveonbef orethe
ceremony,pleasedontcont
inuewiththatt aboo.

Me:ihearyouma'
am.

Justt henherphoner ang, andshemadeherway

upstairs.Iwasl eftt
hinkingaboutherwor ds,asi
continuedwi ththedeser t.Thatwasunt ilifel
this
str
ongar msar oundmywai st,iqui
ckl
ytur nedandi
gotlosti nhiseyes.Hi syear ni
ngeyes,andiknewi
wasf arf rom l
etti
nghi m go.Hisl i
psreachedmi ne,
andi coul dn'
thelpbutwel comet hem.Theki ssfel
t
soright eousandl ovi
ly.Ever yt
hingfel
tsor ight
,li
ke
i
tswhatshoul dbedone.Butiqui ckl
ypul l
edoutof
theki
sswhenhi
smot
her
'swor
dsr
etur
nedi
nmy
head.
I
nser
t121

Hi
m:imi ssedyousomuchdee,
ireal
lycantgoon
wi
thoutyou.

Me:imissedyoumore,butwecantcontinuewi
th
al
lthi
s.Yourmotheri
sright
,thesoonerweboth
moveont hebet
ter
.

Hi
m:moveontowhat
?,il
oveyouDee.Howdoi
moveonf
rom t
hat
?

Me:iloveyoual
otmor
eKhant
sho,butwear
ehalf
si
bli
ngs.Andwecantr
unawayfr
om that
,wejust
needtostop.

Hel
ookedatmewi
thsomuchpai
ninhi
seyes,
and
icouldn'tcontinuelookingathim becauseiwas
goingt ocry.Imovedawayf rom hi
m, asigotmy
selfagl assofwat er.Justthentherewasaknock
ont hedoor ,Khantshol ef
tmei nthekitchengoi
ng
toat t
endi t
.Ifollowedbehindhi m,becausehis
mot herwasst i
llnotback.Andisawhi m comeback
withMi a,ohwow.Justgr eat,shelookedsurpri
sed
toseemeher e.Shegr eet
edmeshamef ul
ly,
andi
justnodded.

Her
:uhm,it
hinkilef
tmyphonei
nyourof
fi
cewheni
wasther
eearli
er.

Yoh,thatwasenought obreakmyhear t.Sohewas

sti
lli
ncontactwithher,iguesshewasr eadyto
moveon.Somuchf or"movingont owhat"mxm.I
si
lentl
ytookmyt hings,andt extedhismotherthati
hadstufftoatt
endt o.Imademywayout ,buthe
heldmyar m.Rightinfrontoft hisMiawoman.

Hi
m:dontl
eave,
itsr
eal
lynotwhatyout
hinkDee?
Mia:ai
ntyouguysnewl
yfoundsi
bli
ngs?
,oril
osti
t
somewhere?

Ij
ustyankedmyhandf r
om hi
m,asir
anoutt
omy
car
.Withhim cal
li
ngoutmyname.
Igotinanddr
oveof
f,wi
tht
ear
sal
readyf
all
ingof
f
myf ace.

☆Khant
sho☆

Whenitr
ains,i
tdefi
nit
elypour
s.If
uri
ousl
ywalked
backi
nsi
det hehouseandifoundMiatal
kingt
omy
mom.

Me:youcoul
dhavejustcol
lect
edyourphone
t
omorrowmorni
ng,whereyoulefti
t.
Mom:what'
sgoingonher
e,andwhydi
dDi
ntl
e
l
eavesosuddenl
y?

Me:askt
hisoneher
e,idontknowwhogavehert
he
r
ightt
ocomet omyhouseanytimeshef
eel
sto.

Mom:okaysoncal
m down,
iam sur
eMi
adi
dnt
meananyharm.
I
nser
t122

Mia:of
causeMr
sMoeket
si,
iam onl
yher
eformy
phone.

Me:mxm.

Ij
ustwal
kedt
omyst udyandtookoutherphone.
Thenwal
kedbackt
oher,andhandeditovert
oher.
Mia:iam r
eal
lysor
ryK,
idi
dntmeant
oint
eruptyour
di
nner.

Me:yeahwhat
ever
,justl
eave.

Shesaidhergoodbyesandl ef
t.Whenit
urnedt
omy
mom, shehadthi
sseriousfaceon.Andiknewi
wasgoingtoreci
eveal ect
ure.

Her:t
hatwasuncal
ledf
orKhant
sho,
whyar
eyou
t
hisli
vid?
.Isi
tDi
ntl
e?

Me:mom idontwantt
otal
kabouti
t,ij
ustwantmy
bednow.

Her:no,youaregoingtol
istentome.Andyouar e
goingtoli
stentomegood, becauseiam sayingit
forthel
asttime.LetgoofDintl
e,sheisyoursist
er
forgoodnesssake.Burywhateverfeel
ingsyou
haveforher,
golookforgi
rl
sinyourleague.The
sooneryoumoveon, t
hebett
erforeveryone.St
op
thatt
aboo,Dint
lei
sgoingtobeacceptedbyt he
Moeketsi
'sasyoursi
ster
.Soinorderforthe
ceremonytogowell,
youbothneedtost opthat
madness.

Fridaymor ning,iwokefeeli
ngsoal i
ve.Iwasnot
evenpl anningongoi ngtoschool,si
ncemysmar t
mout hwascomi ngover
.Imovedoutofbed, wheni
checkedmyphoneihaddozenofmi ssedcal l
sfrom
Khantsho.Ihaveneverspokent ohim sincethat
dinnerni ght.Idecidedthatidontwantanyt hingto
dowi thhi m andhi sfamil
yanymor e.Idonteven
wantt hatst upidwelcomingceremony.I tshight i
me
itookcont rolofmyl i
feandmovedon.Imovedout
ofbed, mademybedandopenedt heWi ndows.I
wentst raightt oshower,wheniwasdonet her ewas
aknockont hedoor .Iworemygownandwentt o
attendit.Wheniopenedt hedoor,if
oundKhant sho
onmydoor step.Itri
edtocloseitagainbuthe
blockedi tbef oreicoul
d.
Me:whatdoyouwant
?

Hi
m:iwantt
otal
ktoyou,
justhearmeout
.

Me:iam ti
redofheari
ngpeoplet el
li
ngmewhatt o
do.WearedoneKhant sho,iam donewithal
lthe
drama.Andpleasetel
lyourmothert ost
opcall
ing
me,
I
nser
t123

idontwantthatwel
comingceremony.Af
termy
examsiam goingstr
aighthomeandiam not
comingback.

Hi
m:wow,
sot
hisi
sit
.Youar
egi
vinguponus?

Me:noiam gi
vingupont
hedr
amat
hatcomeswi
th
youKhantsho.Yourmotherthi
s,yourmot hert
hat.
Miaher
e, Miather
e.Iam t
ir
edKhant sho,iam l
ett
ing
yougorightnow.Goandbewi ththeone'sinyour
l
eague,acrybabylikemewillneverhaveaf ut
ure
wit
hyou.

Him:iam sorryforal
lthedramaihavecausedin
yourli
fe.Iwi
llneverbotheryouagai
n,butj
ustknow
thatiwontst
opl ovi
ngyou.

Het urnedandwal kedaway.Islowl ycl

osedthe
door,asiwentdooront hefl
oorcr yi
ng.Il
ove
Khant shosomuch, butourlovecomeswi t
hso
muchpai n.Onceiwascal m iwentbacktothe
bathroom, justt
owashmyf ace.Wheniwasdone, i
l
otionedandwor emyclothes.Theniwentbackt o
thekitchent ocookformybestf r
iend.
2hourslatershecal
ledtel
li
ngmeshej ustar
ri
ved
atBosmant axir
ank.Itookmycarkeysandpurse,
thenwalkedoutandlockedthef
lat
.Igotinmycar
anddroveof f
.
☆Khant
sho☆

Afterilef
tDintl
e'
sfl
at,ij
ustdrovearoundnot
knowi ngwheretogo.Icouldn'
tgotowor k,
wor k
wast helastthi
nginmymi nd.Whileiwasdr i
vingi
recievedacallfr
om Mia.
*
phonecal
l*

Her:heyK,sorr
yforbotheri
ngyou.Butiam r
eal
ly
st
randed,iam atthemallandidi
dntknowiwas
goi
ngt obuylotsofst
aff.Pl
easecomehelpme.

Me:Miaiam real
lynoti
nthemoodf
oryourgames.
Whathappenedtoyourcar?

Her:att
heser
vice,
andmyuberappi sgi
vingme
pr
oblems.Pl
easeiwil
lneverbot
heryoueveragai
n.
Me:f
ine,
whi
chmal
l
?

Her
:Br
ookl
ynmal
l,
atpi
k'
npay'
spar
kingl
ot.

Ihungup,
thendr
oveof
ftot
hatmal
l.
15mi nut
esl at
eriarri
ved,i
ndeedshehadal
otof
staf
f.Ihel
pedherl oadthosegrocer
iesi
nmycar
,
thenwedr oveofftoherapartment.
10mi nut
esl
aterwear
ri
ved,
andhel
pedhert
ake
them i
nherapart
ment
.
I
nser
t124

Her
:pl
easesi
tdown,
youdontl
ooksogood.

Me:nahiwi
llbef
ine.

Her:st
opbei
ngst
ubbor
nK,
youcantdr
ivei
nthat
st
ate.
Ifi
nal
lyset
tl
eddown,andshebroughtmeabott
le
ofwater
.Idranki
tal
latonce,
thensheset
tl
ednext
tome.

Her
:iam her
eforyouK, iam wil
li
ngtodoanyt
hing
j
usttomakesurethatyoufeelbett
er.

Justwheniwasaboutt orespond,sheplacedher
fi
ngeronmymout h.Thenmovedf rom whereshe
wassitt
ing,andgotbetweenmyl egs.Sheunzipped
myjean,takingoutmyreadyshaft.Idi
dntstopher,
it
hinkthatswhatineeded.

Taki
ngmyent i
reshaf
tinhermout
h,andmyent
ir
e
bodytensedasil
etoutadeepmoanandmyeyes
cl
osedtight
.
Shestart
edoffsl
owwi t
hli
ghtpressure,
andslowl
y
i
ncreasedherpace.Usi
ngherenti
retongueto
moveupanddownonmyshaf t.Thetipofher
tongueperf
ectl
yzoninginonmysmal l
erandhi ghl
y
sensit
ivear
eas,causingmyinsidestoraiseup.She
keptonusingherhandt ost
rokemyshaf t
, asshe
conti
nuedtodot hiswhil
eli
ckingandsucki ng.She
wassogoodatwhatshewasdoi ng,andij ustheld
ti
ghtonherhair.Sheusedherot herhandt ogently
massagemybal l
s,andthatdrovemenut sasilost
i
tandempt iedi
ntohermout h.Andsheswal lowed
everydrop.

Mi aknewmever ywell,andsheknewwhi chwayt o

appr oachme.Iguessihaven' treal
lypayed
attentiont oher .Shewasr eady,asisawherhand
mear ubber .Sincewewer estil
lwit
hourcl otheson.
Ijustt urnedher ,
maki ngherhol donthecouch.I
pushedupherdr essandpushedoutherunder wear
.
Iroll
edont her ubberonmyhar dander ectedshaft,
asisl ammedi ntoherf rom theback.Whatiwas
goingt hroughdi dntallowmet omovei nandout
hersl owl y,soibeganmovi nginandoutofher
fasterandhar der.Pickingmypaceever ynowand
then, shej ustcr i
edoutl oud.iconti
nuedtof uckher
har
deranddeeper
,atsomepoi
nticoul
dfeelt
hati
wasbei
ngtoomuch.Butshedi
dntmoveawayor
mademestop.
I
nser
t125

Iguessshewasal lowi
ngmet oreleaseallmy
frustrat
ions.Iwentmoreharderandandf ast
er,
she
scr eamedoutmynameandherbodyt rembli
ng.
Sinceiwasr eadyt
oo,islammedintoherhardand
releasedallmysper msintot
herubber.

Aftercol
lect
ingmybestf ri
endf rom Bosmas, i
decidedthatwepassbypi k'
npaybecauseir anout
ofmi l
kandappl ej ui
ce.Soidr ovetoSammymar ks,
thenwewentst raighttopik'
npay.Shewast ell
ing
meabouthowshedeci dedt ogivet hecooki eto
Katleho'
sboss, sinceKat l
ehowasst il
lnotwi l
li
ngto
takecareofherneeds.Ij ustcoul dn'tstoplaughing,
Keneilweknewhowt omakemef orgetallmy
problems.Afterget t
ingthest affineeded, idecided
thatwewal ktoBel em togetal lthebakedgoodi es,
fr
om chocolatedoughnut
s,r
edvalvetcaket
o
sausagerollspi
es.Wepayedthenwalkedtowher
e
wepar kedthecar.I
twasabitfar
,soweusedthat
ti
met otalkmore.
Minut eslat
erfinal
lyreachedmycar ,andt hecar
thatwaspar kingbehindmewast oocl ose.There
wasnowayt haticouldmovemycarwi thout
scratchingit
,yohKenei lwewasjustbei ngher
dramat i
cselfaskingever yonewhowaspassi ngby
i
ft heyhaveseent heowneroft hatcar .Unti
lthi
st al
l,
sli
m andcar amel ski
nt onedguyappr oachedus.he
wasi nhi sf
ormalwear ,andhewasr eal l
y
handsomeshame.Hesmi l
edwhenhegoti nfront
ofus, andijustknewt hathewast heowneroft hat
car.

Him:Neoisthename,iam sor
ryl
adi
esfort
hewayi
parkedmycar.Ther
ewasntmuchofaspacewheni
gothere,
andiwasrushingtot
hebank.

Kenei
lwe:andwehadt
owai
tforyou.
Him:iam tr
ulysor
ryaboutt
hat
.Andyouma'
am,
youdonttal
kmuchne?

Kenei
lwe:shedoes,shej
ustdoesntt
alkwhenshe
i
sreal
lypissedoff
.

Yohicoul
dn'thel
pbutlaugh,Nei
lwecant
alkshame.
TheNeoguysmi l
ed,t
henr emovedhi
sbusi
ness
car
dfrom hi
scradandhandedovertome.

Him:pl
easecal
lme,whenyouar
ereadyt
otel
lme
howicanmakeituptoyou.
I
nser
t126

Justl
iket
hat
,hegoti
nhi
scaranddr
oveof
f.

Kenei
lwe:
(l
aughed)nowt
hat
'swhatiam t
alki
ng
about
,amanwi
thconf
idence.Youmustuset
hat
cardDee.

Me:(
bustedoutwit
hlaught
er)youneedt
omovet
his
si
de,neveradul
lmomentwi t
hyou.

Webot
hlaughed,
aswegoti
nmycaranddr
oveof
f
t
omyflat
.
15mi nut
esl aterwearri
ved,t
ookourpaperbags
andwentinsi de.Keneil
wewentstrai
ghtt
omy
soundsystem t oconnectwit
hherphone,andwe
hadourmi nipar t
y.Bondingandt
alki
ngwhile
staf
fi
ngour selveswiththegoodi
es.

☆Mi
a☆

Aft
erKhant
shol ef
t,mycookiewasbur ni
ngbuti
wasmoreexcitedbythefactthathedeci
dedtogi
ve
usachance.Eventhoughweagr eedontaki
ng
thi
ngssl
ow.
aft
ermymostpai
nfulbat
h,Iwor
emygownand
deci
dedt
ocallmyfr
iendRuby.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:bi
tchihavebeencal
li
ngyou.

Me:
(l
aughed)wel
liwasbusyser
vingmyman.

Her
:(
laughed)ohsoyouf
inal
lygaveuponMr
Moeketsisi
r?

Me:(
laughed)notachance,
iwasact
ual
lyser
ving
hi
m.

Her:(
scr
eaming)what?,ar
eyouguysbackatbeing
fuckbuddi
es?.Imeanhowdi dyoudoi
t?,
ithought
hewasi nl
ovewiththatgi
rlwhocameatthe
warehousesometimeago.
Me:(l
aughed)Lor
dhasalwaysbeenonmyside
babe,appar
entl
ytheyar
enewlyfoundhal
fsi
bli
ngs.

Her:what?,
shame.Soyouusedhi
ssi
tuat
iont
o
youradvantage?

Me:agir
lgott
odo,whatagir
lgottodoRuby.You
knowhowmuchilovethatman,iwoul
dtoler
ate
ever
ypainhet
hrowsatmejusttobewithhim.

Her:nowt hatswhatihat
e,youar enotamachi
ne
Mia.Hecantbeusi ngyoutor el
easehis
f
rustrat
ions,onedayhewi l
lreal
lyhurtyou.

Me:wel
lheisnotusi
ngme, wedeci
dedt
ogi
vei
ta
t
ry.Wearei
nar el
ati
onshi
pRuby.

Her
:ij
usthopei
treal
lywor
kshey,
imeanhei
sa
manconf
usedorevenwor
sehear
tbr
oken.

Me:weagr
eedt
otaket
hingssl
ow,
wewi
llbef
ine
babe.

Wespokesomemore,
unti
lwefi
nal
lyhungup.I
f
inal
lywor
emypjsandgoti
nbed.
I
nser
t127

☆Khant
sho☆

Whenigothome,
ifoundmymother'
scarinmy
yar
d.Ipar
kedmycar,t
henwal
kedinsi
dethehouse.
Ifoundherintheki
tchenwithMavis,
igr
eetedthem
thenMavisexcusedhersel
f.Iset
tl
edonthehigh
chair
,watchi
ngmymom cook.

Her
:wher
ehavebeen?
Me:j
ustdr
ivi
ngar
ound.

Shest
oppedst
ir
ingt
hepotandl
ookedatme.

Her
:ihopeyouwerenotwi
thDi
ntl
e,imadeitcl
ear
t
hatyouguysneedtomoveonf
rom thatmadness.

Me:actuall
yitookyouradvi
ce,
imovedonto
someoneel se.Andit
hinkshewil
lbet
hegood
dist
ract
ionineed.

Her:(smil
ed)f i
nal
ly,
ihopesheisnotsomelowli
fe
townshipgirlwhowi l
lbeaft
eryourmoney.And
pleasedontr ushint
ocommi t
ti
ng,taket
imetoknow
thatperson.

Me:wel
liwonthavetotaketi
me,becauseihave
knownt
hatpersonfort
helongestt
ime.
Her
:(
conf
usedl
ook)what
?,who?

Me:Mia,plusshehasbeenr eall
yclosetoour
fami
ly.Iguessihaven'
tbeenr eal
lyshowingher
someappr eci
ati
on.Sheisreal
lyagoodper son.

Her:whatthehell
?,whyMia?.Khant
showhyare
youaft
erthesebrokensouls?Fi
ndsomeoneinyour
l
eagueman.Ai ntther
eanyhotdoctor'
sornur
se'
s
maybethatatt
ractyou?

Me:yohma, iam seri

ouslynothavingt
his
conversati
onwithyou.IlikeMia,andshe
understandsme.It houghtyouli
kedher.

Her:wel
lili
kedherasafri
endtoourfamily,
notas
yourgi
rl
fr
iend.Tr
yhavingsomef un,
andf or
gett
his
commitmentsunti
lyouhaveful
lyhealed.
Me:maiam t ryi
ngt omoveonl i
keyousuggest ed,
andi am doi
ngitthebestwayican.I tsnoteasy
forget
ti
ngaboutDi nt
le,butiam final
lyaccepti
ng
thatsheismyhalfsister.Allyouhavetodoi sto
supportme,andst opmaki ngthingsharderforme
please.

Ir
anupstai
rstomyr oom andl
ockedthedoor
.Igot
i
ntheshowerasiwentthroughthematter
sofmy
l
if
e.IknewthatiwasusingMia,buti
twasmyonly
wayofmovingon.
I
nser
t128

Mondaymor ningihadt odropmysmar tmouthat

Bosmast axirank,beforeheadi
ngt oschool.She
surel
ymademyweekend, wedidntevengetoutof
myf l
at .Wespokeaboutever yt
hing,andireali
sed
thatimadet heperfectmovebyst ayingawayf r
om
Khant shoandhi smom.Ihavedeci dedt omoveon
andf ocusont hefut ur
e.
Ifi
nall
ygottoschool,if
oundAmandaandTsholo
outsi
detheclass.Webrief
lyhugged,
thenmadeour
wayinsidet
hecl ass.

Amanda:youl
ookbet
tert
hant
hel
astt
imeisaw
you.

Me:
(l
aughed)if
eelgood.

Tshol
o:i
tmustbet
hedi
ck.

Webust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er,
aswentt
oourdesks.
Adaywentbywi thourlect
urespr
eparingusforour
fi
nalexams.Atleastiwasfinal
ygett
ingattheend
ofthi
scourse,ireal
lyhopedtogetajobnextyear.I
am notreal
lyafanofbooksshame.
Luncht i
me, wewentoutt ogetbunnychows.Iwas
reall
yi nagoodmood, andiwashappyt hati twasnt
becauseofaman.Weor deredthosebunnychows,
andwentt othemal ltoget2l it
reofcoke.Just
whenwewer eaboutt oappr oachchecker s,isaw
himf i
rst .Ohhewashandi nhandwi t
htheoneand
onlyMi aDavidson.Idi dntlookawayunt ilthey
actuallysawme, icouldseet hepanicon
Khant sho'sface.Butigavet hem thi
swidestsmi l
e
ever,andwal kedt othem.Iwasntsur ewhatiwas
doing, butifeltl
ikedoi ngit.

Hi
m:uhm.
..
Dee,
hey.

Me:
(smil
ed)i
tsgoodt
oseeyoubro,
ihavebeen
meani
ngtocomecheckuponyou.

Mi
a:ohr
eal
ly?

Me:
(smi
led)of
cause,
iam sur
eyouwontmi
ndme
havi
ngar
elat
ionshi
pwi
thmybr
other
.Ri
ght
?

Mi
a:of
causenot
,it
rustmyman.

Me:(
laughed)youshoul
d.Anywaysi
twasr
eal
ly
goodtoseeyoubro.

Iwal kedbackt omygirl

s,swingi
ngmyassmore
thanishoul d.Lol
,ij
ustwantedtoshaket
hatMia
girlabit.Shedidshakemewheniwasst i
llwi
th
Khant sho,sowewer eevennow.

Amanda:
(laughed)
youar
eabadgi
rlDee.

Tshol
o:(
laughed)whendi
dyougett
hisbad?
I
nser
t129

Ibust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er,
ast
heywer
edonepayi
ng
andmadeourwayt
owher
eweboughtourbunny
chows.

☆Mi
a☆

Mxm.justwhenit
houghtwewher
eget
ti
ng
somewhere,
sheappear
ed.
Wewer enowwal ki
ngbackt oKhant sho'
sof fi
ce,
andi couldseet hathewasst i
lltakenbyt hatli
tt
le
gir
l.Ijustdontunder st
andthehol dthatgirlhas
overhi m,hejustturnsint
ot hi
ssmi tt
ent eenageboy.
Wef inall
yarri
vedi nhisoff
ice,andinol ongerfelt
l
ikeeat i
ngthef oodwebought .

Hi
m:what
swr
ongnow?

Me:seri
ousl
y?,
youaregoingtoactli
keyoudidnt
j
usttr
ansfor
mintosomethingicoul
dn'tunder
stand
whenyousawher.
Him:idontknowwhatyouareonabout
,andiam
notgoingt
oexplai
nmyself
.Let
seatup,ineedt
o
getbacktowork.

Wow, Khantshocanbeanassattimes.Weat eup

i
nsi l
ence.Whenwewer edone,it
ookmyt hingsand
walkedout.Iknowthatiagr
eedtotakethi
ngsslow,
buthealsoneedstoprovehisser
iousnessand
meetmehal fway.
Justaf
terget
ti
ngi
nmycar
,myphoner
angandi
t
wasKhantsho'
smom.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:heyMi
a,caniseeyoui
nthenext20mi
nut
es?

Me:ohMr sMoeket
si,
idi
dntknowyouwerest
il
lin
town.Iam l
eavi
ngKhant
sho'
soff
icenow,
where
canwemeet ?
Her:iwast
hinki
ngwecoul
dmeetatyourapar
tment
,
si
nceiam headi
ngther
enow.

Me:oh,
nopr
obl
em ma'
am.

Igoti
nmycar
,anddr
oveof
ftomyapar
tment
.

Afterschool,isai
dmygoodbyest omyf ri
endsand
headt omycar .Justthenmyphoner anganditwas
Khantsho.Ijustsmiled,becauseiknewhewas
goingtotellmeaboutwhati di
dwhenibumpedt o
them earl
ier.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:hey,
howar
eyou?

Hi
m:whatexact
lywer
eyoudoi
ng?
Me:excuseme?

Him:Dint
lestoppl
ayingthosest upi
dsickgames
whenyouseeme.Whenar eyougoingt ost
opbeing
chi
ldi
sh?,someofusar estil
ltr
yingsohardtodeal
wit
hthesituati
onathand.Ifyoucantbehaveli
ke
mysister
,thendontbothercomingt ome.

hehungup.
I
nser
t130

Heh, ididntexpectt
hat.Likehonestlyiwas
dumbst ruck,iguessigottooexcitedearli
er.Butdi
d
hereallyhavet obesor ude,yoh.Ijustgoti
nmycar
anddr oveof f
.Iwasnol ongerinthathypermood, i
decidedt oeatout.Maybei twil
lli
ftupmymood, i
drovet oNandosPr et
oriaNor t
h.Iguessineeded
thatlongdi st
ancedri
ve.
30mi
nut
esl
ateriar
ri
ved,
itookmypur
set
hen
mademywayi nsi
de.ijustorderedaquar ter
chickenwi thchipsandhal fli
treofcoke.Thenwent
tochooseat ablethatwasf acingt hedoor.Igotlost
i
nt hought s,whil
ewat chingpeopl emovei nandout .
Untilisawt hattal
lguyimeti nSammymar ks.He
walkedi nwi t
hthisotherlady,iimmedi ately
pretendedt obebusyonmyphone.Justt henmy
ordercameandihadt olookup, yohmyeyesmet
withhi seyes.t heywer estil
lordering,Heleftthe
l
adyhewaswal ki
ngwi thandcamet omyt able.
Mai ntaininghiscut esmi l
e.

Him:beaut
ifull
ady,
inevergotyournamebecause
younevercall
ed.

Me:ohhey,it
houghtyouwereagent
leman.But
youj
ustl
eftyourpar
tneral
one,
toent
ertai
nanot
her
woman.

Hi
m:(laughed)iam sur
emysisterwoul
dn'
tmindi
ng
or
der
ingalone,whil
eigetherasist
eri
nlaw.
Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutlaughatthatst
atement
,andit
wasawelcomeforhimtojoinmeonmyt able.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)canipl
easegetyourname.

Me:doyoupr
omi
set
oletmeeati
npeace,
aft
ert
hat
?

Him:
(l
aughed)wel
laf
terget
ti
ngyournameand
numberof
cause.

Me:(l
aughed)Di
ntl
eist
hename,
handmeyour
phone.

Hi
m:whatabeaut
if
ulname,f
orabeaut
if
ull
ady.
Pl
easehandmeyoursma'
am.

Ij
ustl
aughedandhandedovermyphonet
ohi
m,he
call
edhisnumber
.Thenhandedbackmyphone,
he
thankedmeandwenttoj
oinhissi
ster
.
Ibegantoeatmymeal ,
wheniwasdoneit ookmy
thi
ngsandwalkedoutpassinghim andhissi
ster
.I
gotinmycaranddroveofftomyf l
at.Iguessi
t
wasntsuchawasteofadr i
ve.Lol
.
I
nser
t131

☆Mi
a☆

Ifi
nal
lyarr
ivedinmyapartment,andMrsMoeketsi
waswaiti
ngf ormeinhercar.Shegotoutwhenshe
sawme, webr i
efl
yhugged.Theniledheri
nsi
de.

Wewalkedi nsi
de,andwenttoset
tleddowninthe
l
ounge.It
riedtoof f
erhersomet
hingtodri
nk,but
shepol
it
elydeclinedit
.

Her
:whatdoyouwantf
rom mysonMi
a?
Me:sor
ryma'
am,
idontt
hinkif
oll
ow.

Her:whatdoyouwantf rom Khantsho?,weboth

knowt hatyouar enotgoodenoughf orhim.I
tr
ustedyouasaf ri
endinourfamily,onl
ybecause
mybr othersawahar dworkerinyou.Wemadeyou
whoyouar etoday,andnowyout hinkyouaregood
enought odatemyson?

Yohherwordswer
epi
erci
ngmyhear
t,howcanshe
besohear
tl
ess.

Me:Mr
sMoeketsiil
oveyourson,
iwoul
dn'
thur
t
hi
minanyway.

Her:i
fyoulovehim, l
ethim go.Heisstil
lconfused,
hejustf
oundoutthatt hewomanhet houghthe
wasgoingtomar r
yi shishalfsi
ster
.Whywoul dyou
wanttotakeadvantageofamani nthatstat
e?,love
your
sel
fandwal
kaway.

Okay,
shewasget
ti
ngoutofl
inenow.

Me:Mr sMoeket siirespectyousomuch, butyou

areinsult
ingmenow.Whyi sitsuchabadthing
thatiam dati
ngyourson? ,whydoesithavetoget
toapoi ntwhereyoui nsultme?.Il
oveyoursonand
iam notgoingtol ethim go.

Her:
(l
aughed)youmustber eal
lystupi
difyouthink
youcant akemeonMi a.Mybrothermadeyou, and
icanbreakyou.St ayawayfrom myson,orhewi ll
fi
ndoutt hatyouwer esl
eepi
ngwi t
hhisuncleand
gotpregnantforhim.Bythewaywher eisthatson
ofyours?,il
astheardhewasi nsomeboar di
ng
schoolinWest er
ncape.

Me:pl
easedonti
nvol
vemysoni
nal
loft
hese.
Her
:thenst
ayt
hehel
lawayf
rom mi
ne.

Shetookhercarkeysandwalkedout
.Iwasl
eft
wonderi
nghowshef oundoutaboutt
hat,
imeanno
oneknewaboutthat.

☆Khant
sho☆

2monthslat
er,
anditwasnowDecember.Mia
br
okeupwi t
hme2mont hsago,
clai
mingthatiwas
st
il
lhanguponDint
le.
I
nser
t132

Ithinkitwasj ustanexcusebecausesheknewt hat

therewasnowayt haticouldgobackt oDintl
e.
TalkingaboutDi nt
le,ihaventseenhersi ncethat
dayshepul ledthatstunt.Ithinkit
sbetterthatway,
weneedsomet imeapar tandi twi
llhelpusaccept
ourr el
ati
on.Iam nowbackathavi ngnost r
ings
attachedrel
ationships,j
ustf uckbuddies.Imust
sayl
i
fej
ustgotmor
eeasyf
orme.

It
ssatur
dayni
ght,andiwaspr
epari
ngforamovie
datewit
hSont
o.Sheismylongti
mef uckbuddy,
andsheisanurse.
Wheniwasdonepr epar
ingmysel
f,it
ookmywal l
et
andcarkeys.Lockedmyhouse,anddr oveof
f.We
agr
eedtomeetatt hecinema.

20mi nuteslat
eriarr
ivedatSter-
Ki nekorSterland
Arcadia.Idi
aledSonto,t
ryi
ngt ofi
ndoutwher eshe
wasandshesai dshewasal r
eadyi nsidegetti
ngus
popcorns.Igotoutofmycar ,l
ockedi tandmade
mywayi nsi
de.Justwheniwasaboutt ogetin, i
bumpedi ntoDintl
ewalkingoutwitht hi
stallguy.
Theylookedl i
ketheyweretogether ,becauset hey
werehandi nhand.Iquickl
ycover edmyf acewi tha
smile,andshesmi l
edtoo.Idecidedt obeanadul t
andwal kedtothem.
Me:heyDee,
haventseenyouf
orawhi
le.

Her:hey,
uhm babemeetmybr
otherKhant
sho.Br
o
t
hisismyboyfri
endNeo.

Ifel
ttheheatsamet i
me, i
tsl
ikemychestwas
suddenlycl
osingin.Ihadthi
sur getoscream,
i
couldn'
tunderst
andwhyiwasf eeli
ngthatway
becauseihavebeenheal i
ngsowel l.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)ni
cet
ofi
nal
lymeetyoubr
o.

Me:
(f
akedsmi
le)sameher
e.Al
readyl
eavi
ng?

Her
:(
smi
led)yes,
wewher
eher
etosee"
Aft
er"
.

Nowthatwasanai
lonmyhead.Shecameto
wat
chthesamemovieshewat
chedwithmeonour
f
ir
stni
ght
.Nowt
hathur
ts.
Theysaidthei
rgoodbyesandl ef
t.Iser
iousl
y
neededtogetmyactt oget
her,iguessMiawas
ri
ghtwhenshesai diwasstil
lhanguponDi ntl
e.I
t
soundssickbecauseshenowhasaboyf ri
end.I
couldn'
tconti
nuewiththemoviedate,
I
nser
t133

ij
usttext
edSont
othatsomethi
ngcameup.ThenI
wal
kedbacktomycar,goti
nanddrovebackt
omy
pl
ace.

Iknowit
stoosoon, butideci
dedt
ogiveNeoa
chanceamont hago.Butwehaven'
thadsexyet,
we
havebeentr
yingtogettoknoweachotherbet
ter
.
Aft
erleavi
ngtheCi
nemawedrovestr
aighttomy
fl
at.Al
thoughiwaswor
ri
edaboutKhantsho,he
di
dntlooksogoodwhenwelef
thim.
15minutesl
aterwearri
ved,andii
nvi
tedhiminfor
cof
fee.Hehappil
yacceptedit
,wegotinsi
deand
wentst
rai
ghtt
otheki
tchen.
Iboi
ledt
hewat
er,
whi
lehepr
epar
edourcups.

Hi
m:ir
eal
lyl
oveyoudee,
andihopeyouknowt
hat
.

Me:
(smi
led)iknowyoudobabe.

Him:iam aver
ypati
entman,butt
hatdoesn'
tmean
icantpl
easeyoui
notherways.

Hedi dntevengivemeachancet orespond, he

pickedmeupandpl acedmeont hekit
chent able.
Andmyl egsspreadinfrontofhim,hegotbet ween
them aswebegant oki
sssl owl
yandpassi onat el
y.
Hesl owlymovedt omyneck, whileheusedbot hhis
handst oremovemyunder wear.Thenihel pedhim
removemydr ess,iwasnakedwhi lehesti
llhadhi s
clotheson.Hef i
nall
ymovedt omyhar dnippl es,
takingturnsonbothoft hem.Icouldn'
thel
pbut
moanoutl oud,
ashesl owlywentdownonme.
Mywhol ebodyt ensedupimmedi at
elywhenhi sl
ips
reachedmycooki e.Hebegant osuckonmy
swal l
encli
t,butt
herewasj ustsomet
hingthat
mi ssi
nginallhewasdoing.Soiusedmyhandt o
trytodir
ecthisheadtodoi tthewayiwantit.But
hewasst il
lnotdoingitr
ight.

Me:r
ollt
het
ipofyourt
onguel
ikeKhant
shodoes.

Yohiqui cklyopenedmyeyes, andhewasnow

standinginf r
ontofme.looki
ngatmewi tht
hisf
ace
fullofhurt.Ireal
lydi
dntmeant osayi
toutl
oud,
i
wasj ustthinkingabouti
t.

Me:babei
tsr
eal
lynotwhatyout
hink.

Hi
m:Khant
shoasi
nthebr
otherwemetear
li
er?

Me:what
?,no.Of
causenotbabe.
I
nser
t134

Him:sothesameKhantshoi
stheonewhoi
sst
il
l
del
ayingyoutogeti
nti
matewit
hme?

Me:pl
easecal
m downbabe,
letmedr
essupsot
hat
wecantal
k.

Him:dontbot
her,
youarenotreadyt
obeint
his
rel
ati
onshi
p.Ir
eall
ycantcompetewi
tht
heunknown,
iam sor
rybuti
tsover
.

Me:Neocomeon, i
twasasingl
emi
stake.Cantwe
j
ustt
alkabouti
t?,
please.

Hetookhiscarkeysandwalkedout.Justl
iket
hati
wassingl
eagain.Yohithi
nkitwastimeiwent
home.Ideci
dedtocallmybestfri
end.
*
phonecal
l*
Me:myl
ove.

Her
:sweet
ness,
whenar
eyouar
ri
ving?
.Ornewbae
i
skeepi
ngyoubusy?

Me:yohiwi
shbabe.Hej
ustdumpedme.

Her
:what
?,why?

Me:iki
ndofment
ionedKhant
sho'
sname,
whi
lehe
wasbusyi
nmufftown.

Her:(
bustedoutwit
hlaughter)okaybabyiam not
l
aughing.Youneedapr ophett obat
hyou, ormaybe
youneedt ogoandapologiset oKhantsho'
smom.
Maybeyouneedt hatwelcomi ngceremonybabe,
thosethi
ngsreal
lyworkyouknow?
Me:yohmaybeyouar eri
ght
, iwi
llcal
lherbefor
ei
sl
eep.Af
tert
heceremonyiam comi nghome.Iwi l
l
evenj
obhuntthatsi
de,iam donewi t
hPretor
iafor
good.

Her
:iwi
llbewai
ti
ngf
oryoul
ove.

Wespokesomemor e,thenihungup.It
ookmy
cl
othessincetheywereonthefloor
,asiwal
ked
st
raightt
ot heshower
.
Wheniwasdoneshoweri
ng,idr
iedandl
oti
onedmy
body.Theniwor
emypjsandsatonmybed, asi
cal
ledMrsMoeketsi
.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:ohheyDi
ntl
e,imustsayidi
dntexpectacal
l
f
rom you.
Me:iknow,andiam r
eal
lysor
ryabouthowi
handl
edthi
ngs.

Her
:it
sokay,iunderst
oodyourf
rust
rat
ions.So
whatcanidoforyou?

Me:iwouldl
iket
hatwel
comi
ngcer
emony,
ifi
tsnot
t
oolate.

Her:oh,ei
shitwi
llhavet
obeaft ert
woweeks
becauseyourfat
her'
sfamil
ywillbeatt
endi
nga
funer
althi
scomingweekend.Iwi l
lcomebynext
weektobuyyoual lt
henecessi
ties.
I
nser
t135

Me:iwoul
dreal
lyappr
eci
atet
hatma'
am,
thankyou.

Her
:nopr
obl
em.
Ihungup,
thensl
ept
.
Thenextmor ningitextedKenei l
we, updati
ngheron
mycal lwithMr sMoeket si.Ifi
nallymovedoutof
bedandmadei t.Iopenedt heWi ndows, t
henwent
toshower .Wheniwasdoneidr essedinmybl ack
skinnyj ean,pinkpuf f
ycr optopandpi nksandal s.I
fi
xedmyf aceandweave, t
hentookmypur seand
carkeys.Iwasgoi ngtodosomegr oceryshoppi ng,
igott ot hekit
chenandt ookanappl e.Thenwal ked
out,lockedmyf l
at.Gotinmycaranddr oveofft o
Sammymar ks.Itsfunnyhowiwasst il
lli
vingon
Khant sho'smoney.Thebl ackcardheonceopened
forme, hadenoughmoneyt ol
astmef ormont hs.

Iwentstr
aighttopik'
npay, takingmytimein
ever
ythi
ngichose.Unt ilif
eltat r
oll
eyhi
tmehar d
onmyankl e.Iqui
cklyturnedandif oundthisdar
k
womani nhermi dfort
ies,behindthatt
rol
ley.

Her
:ohiam r
eal
lysor
rymybaby,
idontknowhowi
l
ostcont
roloft
hist
rol
ley.

Me:i
tsokayma,
thi
sthi
ngshappen.

Her
:(
smi
led)l
etmecheckyourankl
e,ihopei
tsnot
t
oobad.

Shesai
d,asshewentdownandtouchedmyankl
e.
Butqui
ckl
ycameuponme, andsmiled.

Her:Xixangaxil
exakendamaxexo, ntemel
api,
paji
la!HiVan'
wanat i
,Hivadyivabhangu,Hivaka
Xibabelatsur
ini,
maci mbayat ihuku,ayalema
ri
hlelo,
vakamaf ulahixivur
ivat shikanyudzu.

Me:excuseme?

Her
:(
smi
led)i
tsyourcl
ainpr
aises,
youar
eat
rue
Mal
uleka.

Me:iam sor
ryma,it
hinkyouhavemi
stakenme
wi
thsomeoneelse.

Her
:(
laughed)youaret
heoneint
hedarkmybaby,
got
oNwami t
wavill
ageandyouwi
llf
indyourf
ather
.

Shefi
nal
lypushedhert
rol
ley,
walki
ngawayf r
om
me.ButIqui
cklyr
anaft
erherandstoppedher.

Me:ma'am youcantj
ustl
eavemeli
kethat
,doyou
knowmyf ather
?.Imeaniwast
oldt
hatheisdead,
haveyouseenhim?
I
nser
t136

Her
:(smi
led)ihaveneverseenhim,butiam seer
.
Sowhenit ouchedyou,iwastol
dthatyouareinthe
dar
kandyourf atheri
sinNwamitwavill
agein
Gi
yani
.Excuseme.

Iwatchedherj oi
nt hequeue, andpayf orallher
staff
.Thenf i
nall
ywentoutoft heshop, iwasmor e
confusedandl ost.Issheevenr eal,orshejustsaid
whatshehadt osay.Yohicoul dn'tevenshop
anymor e,ij
ustwal kedoutoft hest orefeel
ing
defeated.Ij
ustdidntknowwhot oaskaboutt he
i
nf or
mat i
onijustreci eved.Igoti nmycar ,
andt ook
outmyphoneasir esear chedaboutGi yaniand
Nwami t
wavill
age.Li keit hought,itbelongto
Tsongapeopl e.Ideci dedt ocallKhant sho.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:uhm,
heyyou.

Me:hey,sorr
yforbot
her
ingyou.Ij
usthaveone
quest
ionforyou.

Hi
m:oh,
yeahshoot
.
Me:wasourf
atheraTsongaman?
,imeanwashe
or
igi
nal
lyf
rom Gi
yani
?

Him:
(l
aughed)whywouldyouthinkt
hat
?,nohe
wasnt
.HewasOr i
ginal
lyf
rom Lesot
ho,
atrue
Sout
hernAfr
icanSothoman.

Me:ohokay,
thanks.

Hi
m:ar
eyouokay?
,youdontsoundsowel
l
.

Me:iwi
llbef
ine.

Ihungup, andremai
nedinmycar.Justgoingover
andoverthatwoman'swords.Iwasbroughtfr
om
myt houghtsbyaknockonmywi ndow,wheni
l
ookedupi twasthatSbuguywhocalledKhantsho
'
Steel'
.
I
nser
t137

Isl
owl
yrol
leddownmywi
ndow.

Him:isawyourcar
,andiknewi
twasyou.Doyou
haveaminute?

Me:uhm,
yeahgeti
n.

Iwasn'tsurewhathewant ed,
andistil
ldi
dnttr
ust
him.Especiall
ysinceiknewwhattheyusedtodoat
thosegigs,surel
yitwaseasyforhi
mt oki
lla
person.Ijusthel
dmyphoner eady,i
ncasehetries
something.
Hef
inal
lygoti
nthepassagerseat
.

Hi
m:ihopeyoust
il
lrememberme.
Me:yesido,
butiam notsosur
ewhaticandof
or
you.

Him:honest l
yihavebeenf oll
owingyousince
yesterday.Onf r
idayKhantshomenti
onedt hatyou
arehisnewl yfoundsibl
ing,andever
ythi
ngwas
discoveredbyhi smom.Soiam her etotel
lyout hat
idontbuyi tandiwanttohel pyouproveit
.

Me:okayiam l
ost
,youdontbuywhatexact
ly?

Hi
m:thi
shal
fsi
bli
ngst
hing.Ibel
ievet
her
ewasa
f
oulpl
ay.

Me:youmeant
her
esul
tswer
etemper
edwi
th?

Him:exactl
y,andibel
ieveit
sthesameper
sonwho
camewi t
hthatinf
ormation.
Me:okaywoah,iam l
ost
.Hismother?,
shehas
beennothi
ngbutsuppor
ti
ve.Andsheknewmy
mom, andwher
eshewasf rom.Isur
eyouare
mist
aken.

Him:bel
ievemewhenisayiknowMr
sMoeket
si,
andiknowhowsheworks.

Me:butwhynow?,whyar
eyouhelpi
ngme? .Imean
i
fyouknowherli
keyousayyoudo,whyhaven'
tyou
t
oldhisson?

Him:(
laughed)thatwomani swel lconnect edand
smart.I
tslikeshehaseyesever ywhere, youhavet o
besmar twhenyouar edealingwithher.Andt o
answeryourquestion,ineverfel
tlikehelping
Khantshobef or
e.Becausehewasst il
lplayful,buti
haveseenhi m whenhet al
ksaboutyou.Her eall
y
l
ovesyou, anditshighti
mesomeonest oppedhi s
mother.
Me:yoh,youdoreal
iset
hatidonthavemoneyt
o
payyou.Right
?.Imeani
fwhateveryouar
esayi
ng
i
strue.

Him:(laughed)iam notdoi
ngitfort
hemoney.
Khantshoandhi sunclemademewhoiam t oday,
t
heyact uall
ymadet hewholesquad.Ioweitto
Khantsho,oratl
eastforhi
suncle'
smemor y.
I
nser
t138

Me:ohwow.Sowhathappensnow? ,
imeanial
so
j
ustmetthi
swomanminutesago.Shewastel
li
ng
methatmyfat
heri
sinGiyani
,atsomevi
ll
agecall
ed
Nwamitwa.

Him:per
fect,
that
'sourst
art
.Yousee?,t
her
e'sno
suchathingofbei
nghalfsi
bli
ngs.Hi
smother
creat
edthewholethi
ng.
Me:butwhywoul
dshedot
hat
?

Him:that'
swhatihavebeent r
yingt
ofigureout,al
l
thoseyears.Imeanshewasal sobehi
ndt hatsaga
ofTracyendingupi nbedwit
hhercousin.She
druggedthebot hofthem,
andmadesur ehisson
gotinjusti
nt i
me.

Me:what
?,andyounevert
oldKhant
sho?

Him:Khantshoi shismot her'

sson, i
tsli
kehe
doesntseefaultinhismot her.Andididntwantt
o
ri
skbeingkickedoutoft hesquad.Mybestf ri
endis
mycomput er,iam alwaysi nvest
igati
ng.Andwheni
fi
ndanswer s,ikeepthem tomysel f.

Me:yoh,
ithi
nkimor
escar
edofhernow.

Hi
m:youshoul
d,i
tsl
ikeshehast
hispowerover
ever
ythi
ng.Not
hingdef
eat
sher,
shehandl
esmen
busi
nessesandmanagetocomeoutt
op.ist
il
ldont
underst
andhowshedoesit
.

Me:sowhydontwej
ustgetKhant
shoandget
t
estedagai
n?

Him:Khantshowi l
ldefi
nit
elytel
lhismot heraboutit,
wecanbetont hatone.Hej ustcantkeept hings
fr
om hismot her,everysmalldetai
lgoest oher .Thi
s
i
swhyisayweneedt obesmar t,andnoti nvolve
Khantsho.Youar egoingtoactnor malwhent hey
cal
lyou,whilewewor kourthingsunder ground.
Andweneedt omoveassoonaspossi ble,l
ikei
sai
d.Thatwomanhaseyesandear severywher e.
Thisi
swhyiwai tedforyout ogethere,wecant
meetatyourf l
at.

Me:wow, youknow.
..
nowt hatyoumenti
onedall
thoset
hings,i
tmakessense.Sheneverl
ikedme,
butimustsayshereal
lypl
ayedmeshame.Idi dnt
seet
hatonecomi
ng,
imeant
oevenf
aket
het
est
s?

Him:sheiscapabl
eofdoi
ngwor
se,
justt
oseehi
s
sonsingl
e.

Me:t
hat
sreal
lywei
rd,
whatki
ndofapar
entdoes
t
hat?
I
nser
t139

Him:aweat hy,si
ckparent.Packami nibagt
onight,
andgot oBosmant axirank.Youaregoi ngt
o
pret
endlikeyouaregoinghome, andmakesur eyou
tel
lKhantshoaboutyoursuddent r
ip.Iknowitwil
l
defi
nit
elygettohismother'sear
s.

Me:okay,
butwher
ear
eweact
ual
lygoi
ng?

Him:Giyani
.Iwil
lsendsomeonet
ocomecoll
ect
youfr
om therank.Ineedt
ogonow.Makeyousure
youar
eatt
her
ankby6am.

Hesai
dthatandgotoutofmycar.Idi
dntevensee
wher
ehedisappearedt
o,Imeanhedidnteven
l
eavehi
snumber s.
Everythi
ngwasj usttoomuchf oroneday, but
comet othinkofit
.Mr sMoeketsiwasj usttoogood
tobetrue.Butwhydoesntshewanthersont o
commi t?
,isitr
eall
ysuchabadt hing?.Imeanshe
goesthroughalotjusttoseehissonsi ngle.From
druggi
ngpeopl e,tocreat
ingfakest or
iesandf ake
test
s.Yohsomepeopl earejustsohear t
less,she
watcheduscr yforourbabyoversomef aket est
s?.
Wow, shereall
ymanagedt otur
nmyl i
feupside
downshame.

Ifi
nal
lydroveoffbacktomyf l
at,inolongerfel
tthe
hungert
hatifel
tear l
ier
.Iwasst i
llful
lfr
om the
i
nformati
onirecievedfrom Sbu.
15minuteslat
eriarr
ived,
goti
nsidemyflatand
l
ockedit
.Ijustgotnakedandgotundert
hecovers,
i
j
ustcoul
dn'
tstopthi
nki
ngabouthowt hatwoman
managedtocontr
olourl
ives.Wi
thoutnoti
cingt
hat
shewasactual
lydoi
ngit
.
Justt
henmyphoner
angandi
twasKhant
sho.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:uhm hey,
areyouokay?

Me:yeahiam f
ine,
howar
eyou?

Hi
m:beenbett
er.Ispoketomymom, shet
oldme
t
hatyouagr
eedtohavet hatwel
comi
ngceremony.

Me:yesidi
d.Si
ncei
twil
lbeaf
ter2weeks,
ihave
deci
dedtogohometomorr
ow.

Hi
m:oh,doyouthi
nkicanseeyoubefor
eyougo? .I
meanj
usttomakesurethatyouar
eokay,youdont
soundokay.

Itf
eltsogoodtal
kingt
ohim knowi ngthatweare
actual
lynotr
elat
ed.If
eltl
iketell
inghimtocome
overandcomehol dmewit hhisstronghands.
I
nser
t140

Buticoul
dn'
tri
skr
uini
ngmypl
answi
thSbu.

Me:nahicantseeyou,iwil
lseeyouatt
he
ceremony.Ij
ustneedsometimetomyself
,andi
thi
nkbeingathomewilldomegood.

Him:okay,
iunder
stand.Ar
eyoust
il
lokay?
,imean
cashwise.

Me:iam st
il
lfi
ne,
thankyou.
Hi
m:haveasaf
etr
ip.

Me:t
hankyou.

Ihungup, andcoveredmyf acewi thmyhands.My

bodyandsoulwer eyearningforhim, imissedhim
somuch.Knowi ngthathewasntmybr other,
made
mewanthi m mor e.Iwassohur tt
hatwemi ssedall
thosemont hstoeachot her,becauseofsomef ake
i
nformation.Ir
eallyhopedt hatthi
ngsgowel lforus
i
nGi yani
,andwemanaget ogetal ltheconcrete
prove.Sothaticangobackt othemanil ove.
Itwasonl
y1pm,butij
ustfel
tli
kesleepi
ng.Soi
tookmyheadset
sandconnect
edthem tomyphone
asiletG-
Eazy&Hal
seyhel
pmesl eep.

Cr
ossmyhear
t,hopet
odi
e
Tomyl
over
,I'
dneverl
ie
Hesai
d"bet
rue,
"IswearI
'
llt
ry
I
ntheend,
it'
shi
m andI

He'
southi
shead,
I'
m outmymi
nd
Wegott
hatl
ove,
thecr
azyki
nd
Iam hi
s,andhei
smi
ne
I
ntheend,
it'
shi
m andI
,hi
m andI

Around5pm iwaswokenbyacallf
rom Mr
s
Moeketsi
,andiknewt
hatKhant
shomusthavet
old
heraboutmysuddentr
ip.
*
phonecal
l*

Her:hey,iheart
hatyouarel
eavingtomorr
ow.Ijust
hopeyouwontcomebackchangi ngyourmind
abouttheceremonybecauseiwanttostar
tbuying
al
lthethi
ngswear egoingtoneed.

Thener
veoft
hiswoman,
mxm.
Me:dontwor
ryma,
ineedt
hatcer
emonymor
ethan
anyt
hing.

Her
:good,
haveasaf
etr
ip

Me:t
hankyou.

Ihungup, t
hendeci dedtogot othekit
chensi
ncei
wasfeelingsohungr y.Ijustmadeasimple
sandwichofbutterandpeanutbut ter
;wit
haglass
ofmilk.Thenidecidedt ogototheloungeand
connectedamovi e.
I
nser
t141

Thenextmorningiwokearound4am, ij
ustdidnt
wanttobelat
e.AndialsodidntknowhowSbuwas
goingt
ocontactme,soimademybedandwentt o
shower.Wheniwasdoneidr essedi
nmypi nk
mat chi
ngt r
acksui tsandmywhi t
eni kesneakers.I
fi
xedmyf aceandweave, theniqui ckl
ypackedt hat
minibagsi nceidi dntdoi tlastnight.Itookmy
phonesandpur se, thenwentt ot
heki tchen.Ij
ust
madeacer ealsinceidi dnthavemuchofagr ocer
y
l
eft.Wheniwasdone, itookmyt hi
ngsandwal ked
out.Lockedmyf lat,thencat chedat axithatwil
lbe
droppingmeof fatBosmast axirank.
10minutesl
ateriar
ri
ved,andjustchi
ll
edsincei
waswaiti
ngforsomeonet ofet
chme.Itwaswas10
to6am,somydr i
vershouldbehereanyti
mef r
om
now.
1hourl at
er,
therewasst il
lnosignofanyone
coll
ecti
ngme.Icoul dn'tevencallSbubecausei
didnthavehisnumber s,andicouldn'
task
Khantshobecausei tmightrui
nourpl ans.Ideci
ded
towaitforanotherhourincasehewasr unningl
ate.
But2hourslater
,therewasstil
lnot
hing.Yohmaybe
thi
sSbuguychangedhi smindabouthelpingme, or
hegotscared.Idecidedtowalkint
hecompl ex,and
gotinf
ishawayst ohaveapr opermealsinceiwas
nowhungry.wheniwasdoneiwal kedbackt ot
he
rankjustfor30mi
nut
es.Andtherewasstil
lnot
hing,
ijustt
ookanuberbacktomyf l
at.Iwasso
disappoi
ntedandhur
t.It
houghtitwasfi
nal
lymy
breakthr
ough.

☆Sbu☆

Mywor stmistake,wasgoingt
othatlapaft
ermy
meetingwi thDintl
e.Iwenttot
hatlaptosnoop
around, notknowingthatMrsMoeketsi
'smenwere
al
readyal art
edbyt hatsamestuf
fmembert hati
confronted.
Thelastthi
ngirememberwasl eavingthatlap
goingtomycar ,
ijustsuddenlyblackedout.Nowi
am ti
edupi nthi
sunknownr oom, andijustknow
thatiwontwalkoutali
ve.IjustpraythatDintl
e
doesn'tst
opthesearchoffindingherfather.
Minut
eslaterisawMrsMoeket
siwal
kinwi
tht
hese
t
wodar kandbuf f
yguys.
I
nser
t142
Her:
(l
aughed)i
fitisn'
tthesuper
herowannabe,Sbu
whatmakesyout hinkyoucanjustsnoopar
ound
i
nfor
mat i
onconcerningmeandwal kawaywithi
t?

Me:iwantedt
oexposeyout
oyourson,
Butoneday
hewil
lseeyouforwhoyour
eal
lyar
e.

Her:
(laughed)manyt r
iedandneversucceeded,
whatmadeyout hinkyoucansucceed? .ImeanSbu
youar eal
lli
vinginmywor l
d,andir uni
t .Ihappy
becauseiknowt hatyouarealonewor ker ,sono
onewi l
lknowwher eyoudisappearedto.Just
feel
ingsorryfort
hatwi f
eofyoursandchi l
dren.
Whatwer eyougoi ngtogai
nfrom exposi ngmet o
myson?

Me:f
uckyou,
youar
esi
ck.

Her
:(l
aughed)wor
dofadvi
ce.
act
ingl
ikea
super
heroneverhelpedanyone,
Itwi
llonl
ygetyou
ki
ll
ed.Fi
nishhim upboys.

Shemadeherwayoutlaughi
ng,andherboystook
outt
hei
rsil
entgunsandiwasshoweredwith
numberofbul
let
s.

Whenigotinmyfl
at,
ijusttossedmysel
font
he
couchanddial
edmysmar tmouth.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:mor
ningbabe,
howar
eyou?

Me:mor ni
ngbabe,eishiam notsogoodhey.
Yesterdayireci
evedsomuchi nfor
mation,
andi
thoughtiwouldtell
youonceihavesomet hing
concrete.

Her
:it
smyof
fday,
soihaveal
lthet
imei
nthewor
ld
myl
ove.

Ibegantonarr
atethest
oryfrom whenimett
hat
womani npi
k'npay,t
otal
kingtoSbuandhim not
pi
tchingup.

Her
:what?
,thatmeansyoumightbei
ndangermos.
Whati
fshealreadygott
othi
sSbuguy?

Me:idoubti
t,Sbuseemedt oowi se.Andheknew
whathewasdoi ng,
ijustdontknowwhatiam
goi
ngtodonowbecauseial readytol
dKhantsho
andhismom thatiam leavi
ng.

Her:wellit
hinkyoushouldgotoGi yani.Yesgot o
thatNwami t
wavill
age,sear
chf oreveryMaluleka
households.Wehaveseenitonmovi esbabe,
surel
ytheonewhoi syourfatherwillbenoticeabl
e.
Me:(laughed)it
hinkyouarel
osingyourmind,
noti
ceablehow?.Idontevenhaveasingl
e
i
nformationofhim,orevenapict
ure.
I
nser
t143

Her:babyli
stentome,getyourbi
gboot
sonandgo
searchforyourf
ather
.Youneedallt
hebackupyou
cangettofightt
hatmonsteri
nlaw.

Icoul dn'thelpbutlaughoutl oudatherl ast

statement .Wespokesomemor e,andhungup.I
deci dedt otakeNei lwe'sadvice,thatsmar tmout h
ofmi neisneverwr ongshame.Idi dntunpack
anyt hing,itookmybagasi twasandcarkeys.I
wal kedout ,
lockedmyf l
atandgoti nmycar .GPS
trackingwasgoi ngt obeusef ultoday,andfort hi
s
l
ongdr i
veineededEmi nem onf ullblast
.Ifi
r st
lygot
tothef i
ll
ingstationt ogetmyt ankf ul
landsnacks
fort heroad.Thenidr oveofftoGi yani.
5hour slat
er ,
igotintheVill
ageofNwami twa.I
mademyf irststopatthetuckshopifound.Theni
walkedinsideandf i
rstl
yboughtair
ti
mej usttoopen
mydoor s.iwasgl adthatitwasaguy,because
somet i
mesgi rlswouldgiveyouatt
it
udef orno
reason.

Me:uhm..
.ij
ustar
ri
vedhereandiam l
ooki
ngf
ora
Malul
ekat
hatli
vesint
hisvil
l
age.

Him:oh, inot
icedt hatyouar enotfr
om aroundhere.
Buttheyar ealotofMal ulekahousehol
dsar ound
here,andyoucantj ustconductyoursearchwithout
askingfortheper missionf r
om t
hepalace.

Me:yoh,
thepal
ace?
.West
il
lhavet
hose?

Hi
m:(
laughed)wel
comet
othevi
ll
agesma'
am.
Hefinal
lydi
rectedmet othepalace,andi
twas
al
ready4pm.Iwasn' tevensurewhatiwasgoingt
o
askinthepalace,becauseidontevenknowthe
maniam lookingf or
.
Ifi
nall
ytookthedirect
ionsiwasgi ven,20minutes
l
ateriarr
ived.I
twassur roundedbyt al
lwall
sand
cl
osedupgat es,soicouldn'tseethei nsi
des.I
hootedmycarhor n,andasmal lgatewasopened
assomeguyappr oachedmycarandIl oweredmy
carwindow.

Hi
m:gooddayma'
am,
howcanihel
pyou?

Me:heymynamei sDintl
eMokwena, andiam f
rom
Pret
oria.Iam actuall
yhereinthevill
agetosear
ch
formyf ather
, butiwastoldthatineededt
he
permissionfrom thepalace.
I
nser
t144

Hi
m:okay,
youar
einl
uckbecausebot
hthequeen
andkingarei
ntheyar
d.Iwi
l
lhavet
osear
chyour
carf
ir
stifyoudontmi
nd.

Me:yeahsur
e,goahead.

Iopenedthebootf orhim andhedi dhissearch.

Theniwasal lowedi n.whenidr ovein,i
twas
nothingt
hatbel ongt ot hi
svil
lage.Amansi ont hat
belongtoSandt on,ort hosetopsubur bs.Igotout
ofmycar ,andmademywayt ot hegarden.I
t
seemedl i
ketheki ngwaswi thhisf amil
y.Iquickly
remember edthatitsdecember ,soeveryonewas
home.Theywer esi t
ti
ngar oundat abl
ethatwasf ul
l
offood.Igreetedever yoneandiwasaskedt ot ake
seat.

Me:mynamei sDintl
eMokwena,iam from Pretori
a.
Icamet othi
svil
lagetosear
chformyf ather,
as
weirdasitmaysoundbutidontevenhaveapi ctur
e
ofhim.Alliknowisthathei
saMal ul
eka, soiam
actual
lyheretoconductasear
chtoallMal ul
eka
households.Butiwastol
dthatineededt
he
permissi
onf r
om thepal
ace.

Guy1:ni cemeet i
ngyouDi ntl
e,mynameJuni ort
he
1stprinceoft hi
spalace.Theoneovert hereismylil
brotherBl essing,t
hesecondPr ince.Thenwehave
myPar entsovert herewhoar ethetheki ngand
queenof cause.Andt hatonenextt othem isour
royalheal er.Nowt heprocedurewor ksasf oll
ows,
wear egoi ngt oassignoneofourguar dstodot he
searchwi t
hyou.Buti nyourcasei tsgoingt obea
bitharderbecauseyouonl yhavet hesur name.

King:notreal
lyJuni
or,imeanwehaveatleast4
householdsthatbel
ongedtoMalul
ekaasf aras
remember .Notcount
ingtheoneibannedfrom our
vil
lagelastmonth.

Me:banned?
,why?
Juni
or:wel
lhewasthebi
ggestwi
tchofal
lti
mes,
he
wentbythenameofThi
baba.

T.
healer:
(l
aughed)andt
hat
sact
ual
lyt
heper
sonshe
i
slookingfor
.

Yohtheshockineveryone'
sfacesaidital
l.The
samewi t
chthatgotbannedisthefat
heriam
sear
chingfor
?,yohididntexpectt
hatone.

Queen:ar
eyousur
e?,
imeanei
sht
hatmani
s
danger
ous.
I
nser
t145

T.heal
er:iam ver
ysuremyqueen,wel
lhewontbe
dangeroustohisdaught
eri
fthat
swhatyouare
askingme.

Ki
ng:
wel
lint
hatcase,
youshoul
deatupyoung
l
adyandaguardwillt
akeyoutoyourfat
her
'shouse.
Ihear
dthathemovedtoKobjanevi
ll
age.

Queen:itslatenow, it
hinksheshouldsleepover
andlookf orherfathertomorrow.Iam sureyouar
e
exhaustedf r
om allthedri
ving.Iwil
laskthemaidto
prepar
ear oom f
oryou.

Me:ma'
am your
eal
l
ydonthavet
o.

Queen:iinsi
st.wel
liam al
sof
rom Pr
etor
ia,
Soi
havetotakecareofmyhomegi r
l.

Weal ll
aughed,asthemaidwascalledandtoldto
preparearoom forme.Iwasn'
tsurehowt ofeel
aboutthisthi
ngofmyf at
herbei
ngawi tch.Aft
er
eati
ngt hequeenwalkedwit
hmet owher eiwil
lbe
sl
eeping.Shegotintheroom wi
thmeandasked
met ositdownnexttoheronthebed.
Her
:youl
ookt
roubl
ed,
wher
eismot
her
?

Me:shedi
edmonthsback,
iact
uall
yhavenoone.
I
tsoneoft
hereasonsi
'
m sear
chingformyf
ather
.

Her:iam reall
ysorryaboutyourmother
.Iwantyou
toknowt hat,i
tdoesntmatterhowpeopleknow
yourfat
her .Whatmattersi
showyouwi llknowhi
m,
yourparentwillal
waysbeyourparent.

Me:ihearyouma'am,butsomet
imespar
entsdo
t
hewor stt
ootherpeopl
e.Howdoweoverlookal
l
t
hat?

Her:yousoundcer
tai
n,ar
ewest
il
ltal
kingabout
yourfat
her?

Me:noma'
am,it
sjustt
hatiwasmadetobel
ieve
t
hatmyfat
herdi
edyearsago.Iwasgi
vent
he
i
nf or
mat ionbymyboyf riend'smother
,shewentas
farasf akingtheDNAt estsjustt
oseperateus.Just
tomakesur eibr eakupwi thherson,ievenlostmy
babyi nthepr ocess.Thisiswhyisayourpar ents
reall
ydot heworst.Itmakesmef earwhatmyf at
her
couldhavedonet ootherpeople,si
ncehei sawel l
knownwi tch.Leadinghimt ogetbannedi nthis
vil
lage.

Her:ohmygosh,Nowiunder
standyourfears.You
needtolear
ntopr
ay,pr
ayandcryoutallyourfear
s
totheLord.
I
nser
t146

Hewillhel
pyouandgi veyout hest
rengthyouneed.
Usashumanbei ngs,wecanonl yofferyouphysical
support
.Buthewillgi
veyout hespi
ritualsupport
,
andthat'
sthepowerfulone.Iam wi
lli
ngt ohelpyou
anywhereican,j
ustshoutifyouneedanyt hing.
Me:wow, t
hankyouma'am.Youdidt
hemost
alr
eady.Andyouhaveabeaut
if
ulhome,
thankyou
forl
ett
ingmestayanight
.

Her
:(
smiled)youarewelcome.Andr ememberthat
I
twil
lgetbett
er,i
talwaysdoes.Justbel
ieve.

Shefi
nall
ywal kedout,
ijustdi
dntexpectt
hiski
nd
ofwel
comef rom str
angers.Especi
all
yver
y
i
mportantst
rangers.
If
inal
lywal
kedtothei
nsuit
ebathr
oom t
otaket
he
l
ongestbat
h,t
hinki
ngabouttomor
row.
Wheniwasdone, iwashedt
hebat
hthendri
edmy
body.Iwal
kedbacktothebedr
oom,andworemy
pj
s.Thenideci
dedt ocal
lmysmartmout
h.
*
phonecal
l*

Her:fi
nal
ly,
allyourphoneshavebeent
aki
ngme
st
raightt
ovoicemail.
Me:oh,i
tmustbet henet
wor
kbecauseinever
swi
tchedthem of
f.

Her:sowherear
eyou?
,howdi
ditgo?
.Di
dyou
at
leastgetal
ead?

Me:
(l
aughed)ar
eyoucal
m now?

Her
:(
laughed)t
ellmeal
ready.

Me:wellwheniarri
vedhere,onmyf ir
stst
opiwas
tol
dthatihadtogetthepermissi
onf r
om t
hepal
ace.
Notknowingthatiwil
lgetal
lmyl eadsatt
hesame
pal
ace,iam att
hepalaceaswespeak.

Her
:(
scr
eami
ng)pal
aceasi
nli
ker
oyal
ty?
Me:
(l
aughed)yep.

Her
:what?,
soat
ewi
tht
hequeenandt
heki
ngof
t
hatvi
ll
age?

Me:istil
lcantbeli
evei
t,imeant hequeeni
ssucha
goodper son.Shegavemet hissweetandgui
dance
tal
k,iswearsheisasweet heart
.Nothi
ngli
kewhati
i
magi ned.

Her:isowi
sht
obeyour
ightnow,
haveyoumett
he
pr
ince?

Me:
(l
aughed)yesidi
d,2oft
hem act
ual
ly.

Her
:ohmygosh,
fet
chmer
ightnowDee.

Me:
(l
aughed)somyf
atheri
sact
ual
lyawel
lknow
wit
ch,t
hatwasbannedf
rom t
hisvi
ll
ageamont
h
ago.

Her:No!
,what
?.Imeanhowdi
dtheyknowt
hati
ts
hi
m?
I
nser
t147

Me:thepalace'
stradi
tionalhealerwasalsohere,
so
hesaidital
l.Anditseemsedl ikeheisveryaccur
ate
seer
,theydidntevendoubthi m.

Her:yohDee,sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
.Imean
ar
eyoust i
llgoi
ngt
omeethim?

Me:iwast hinki
ngotherwise,butaft
erhavingt
hat
tal
kwiththequeen.Ithinkiam actuall
ygoingto
meethim, imeanhei stheonlyrealfamil
ymemberi
have.Andyouknowt hatineedsomeonet oback
meup, f
rom allthosedemonsihavebeenf aci
ng.
Her:youhavemyf ullsuppor
tinever
ythi
ngyou
choosetodobabe.Cal lmeagaintomorr
owaft
er
meetinghi
m, okay?

Me:iwi
llbabe,
thankyousomuch.

Her:noneedt
othankmel
ove,
igotyoul
ikeyour
backgotyou.

Icouldn' thel
pbutl augh,asi hungup.I twasonl y
8pm, andidi dntfeellikesleepi ng.Idecidedt owal
k
out,iwasntsur ewher eiwasgoi ng.r i
ghtont he
stair
st heywer ever ybeautifulpaintings.Itwas
threegr oupsofpar tners,ionlyr ecognisedthelast
couplebecausei twast hequeenandki ngthatimet
earli
er.Ibettheot hercoupl eswer etheprevious
queensandki ngs.Eachpai ntinghadal ltheirnames
atthebot t
om.Iwasbr oughtbackf r
om my
thought sbyjunior'
svoi ce.
Hi
m:beaut
if
uli
snti
t?

Me:t
oomuch,
soyourmot
her
'snamei
sRef
il
we?

Hi
m:(
laughed)yes,
whydoest
hatshockyou?

Me:(
laughed)surel
ysheisnotaTsonga, imean
howdidshemeetyourf at
her?.becauseiheardher
sayi
ngshei sfr
om Pret
ori
a.Imeanwassheeven
fr
om royal
ty?

Him:(bust
edoutwit
hlaughter
)youknowwhat?
??,
thatstor
ysoundsbett
erwhenistol
dbythem.
becausewow, i
twasahellofajour
neyhey.

Me:
(l
aughed)t
hatbad?
Hi
m:(
laughed)ver
ybad.Cantsl
eep?

Me:yep,
iwasntevensur
ewher
eiwasgoi
ng.

Him:(l
aughed)inot
iced.Comej
oinmeandBl
essi
ng
atthefi
repit
,weconnectedamovie.

Iwalkedwit
hhimt ot
hatroom,yohthebeaut
yof
thatroom.Abigci
nemaroom, wit
hafir
epiti
nthe
middle.Nowthat
sunfor
gettabl
e,
I
nser
t148

wehadsnackswhi lewatchi
ngt hatactionmovie.
Whi l
eget ti
ngtoknoweachot herabi t,il
earned
thatjuniorwasact ual
lyengagedt othisother
princess.Andhei s26year sol
d, whileblessi
ngis
24.Ver yhumbl eniggars,
youwoul dn'ttel
lthatt
hey
aref r
om t hi
srichandfamousf ami l
y.Always
keepingi tsimple.
9pm itoldt
hem thatiwasgoi ngtosleep,andthey
remainedsincetheysti
llhadalott
owat ch.Wheni
gotinmyr oom,icheckedmyphoneandihad
missedcallsfr
om Khant sho.Ismi
ledbeforecall
ing
him back.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:heyyou,
beent
ryi
ngt
ocal
lyoual
lday.

Me:ohsor
ry,
mustbet
henet
wor
k.

Him:ohok,howar
eyou?
.Imeanyoumustbe
happytobehome.

Me:iam good,
andyesi
tsgoodt
obear
oundmy
f
ri
end.
Him:iam glad,
youevensoundbet
tert
han
yest
erday.Uhm, wi
llibewr
ongi
fisayimi
ssedyou?

Heh,
mycheekswer
ebur
ningf
rom bl
ushi
ng.

Me:act
ual
lyno,
becauseimi
ssedyout
oo.

Him:oh,wow.Imeanenj
oyyourst
ay,
iwi
llseeyou
atthecer
emony.

Me:bye.

Ihungup, andgotundert
hecovers.Idi
dntwantt
o
thi
nkmuchabouthowiwi llbr
eakthenewsto
Khantsho.Iwassti
llworr
iedaboutmeeti
ngmy
wit
chf at
hertomorrow.
I
nser
t149
Thenextmor ningiwokeupar ound7am, iquickly
mademybed.Thenwentt oshower ,wheniwas
doneiwor emyr edoffshoulderbodysuit,bl
ack
skinnyjeanwi t
hbl ackandredJordansneaker s.I
fi
xedmyf aceandweave, thenpackedal lmyt hings
i
nmymi nibagandwal keddownst ai
rs.Iwas
shockedt ofindeveryonedressedup, al
readyeat i
ng
breakfast.Icheckedtheti
meandi twas9am.I
greetedeveryone,andiwast oldtojointhem for
breakfast.Isett
leddownandser vedmysel f
.

Queen:ihopeeveryt
hinggoeswel
lforyou,iwoul
d
haveaskedJuniortoaccompanyyou.Butweareall
att
endi
ngt hi
sotherceremonyi
ntown.

Me:ohitsokayma'am,youhavedoneal
otforme.
Thankyousomuchf orever
ythi
ngyouhavedone
forme,youevensavedmef r
om sear
chi
ngthe
wholevil
lagef
ormyf at
her
.

Theyal
llaughedaswecont
inuedt
oeat
.Whenwer
e
doneeati
ng,aguar
dwasassignedforme.Isaidmy
goodbyes,
Andifol
lowedbehi
ndtheguardwithmy
car.
25mi nut
eslaterwear
rived,andparkedinfrontof
thi
sbigyard.Thehousewasnotsobad, theguar d
wastoldtoleavemysightonlywhenif eelsafe.I
fi
nall
ymademywayi nsidewiththeguard,then
knockedonce.Minut
esl at
eradoorwasopenedby
thi
sguywhomustbei nhismi dt
hirt
ies,defi
nitel
y
cantbeThibabathi
sone.

Hi
m:hey,
howcanihel
pyou?

Me:iam act
ual
lyl
ooki
ngf
orThi
babaMal
uleka.

Hi
m:andyouar
e?

Me:ohsorr
y,mynamei
sDi
ntl
eMokwena.Iam
f
rom Pr
etor
ia.
Hi
m:oh,
uhm.
..
comei
n.

Hemadeawayf orme, andt heguar dwentt owait

i
nhi scar .Theguywast al
l,buff
yandhandsome.
Alt
houghhecover edhisfacewi t
h" dontmesswi th
me"l ook.Iset t
ledont hecouch, het r
iedtoof f
erme
somet hingt odrinkbutidecl i
ned.Hef i
nall
ywentt o
calltheoldmanf orme.Iwassouncomf ort
able,
i
keptchecki ngoutt hehouse.Iwasevenscar edto
wat chthet v,iwant edtoseehi m appear.
Minutesl
atert
heguyr et
urnedwi
ththeoldman,
surel
yinhi
searlysevent
iesorl
atesi
xti
es.
I
nser
t150

Iqui
ckl
ystoodup, andhestoppedwal
kingwhenhe
sawme,thenlookedatthatguy.

Thi
baba:i
tsher
,shei
sher
e.
Guy:ar
eyousur
e?

Thi
baba:100per
cent
.

Guy:
(smil
ed)ohwow,mynamei sLawrence.Your
ol
derbrot
her,
wehavebeenexpecti
ngyou.

Okaythatr
eal
lypi
ssedmeof
f,idontknowwhy.But
i
tdid.

Me:wow,seriousl
y?.Youhavebeenexpect
ingme?,
soheknewiwascomi ngsi
ncehei sawell
known
wit
ch?
.Buthecoul dn'
tseethatiwassuf
feri
ngand
cametorescueme?

Thibabatri
edtowal
kuptome, butiqui
ckl
yst
epped
back.Stupi
dtear
swereal
readyfall
ingof
fmyface.
Thibaba:mydaught
erpl
easecal
m down,
letme
explai
nittoyou.

Me:No, youbot
hshoul
dhavel ookedforme.You
arenowhappy,sayi
ngthatyouhavebeen
expect
ingme.Andyouexpectmet odance?

Lawrence:Dintl
epleasecal
m down,there'
salott
o
besaid.Pleasesitdownandli
sten.Please.

Islowl
ysatbackdown, andther
ewasaknockon
thedoor.Thi
babasatdowni nfr
ontofme,whil
e
Lawrencewenttothedoor.Secondsl
aterhe
ret
urnedwiththeguar
d.

Guard:ijustwant
edt
omakesur
ethatyouar
eokay,
iheardthenoise.
Me:oh,
iam st
il
lfi
ne.Thankyou.

Guar
d:iam st
il
lout
sidei
fyouneedme.

Hewal
kedout
,andLawr
encesatnextt
ohi
sfat
her
.

Thi
baba:ionlysawthatyouar ecomingar
ound5
am t
hismorning.Thenitol
dLawr encewhenhe
wokeup.Yesiknewt hatihadachi l
doutt
here,
but
idi
dnthaveitintosear
chf oryou.
Whenimetyourmot her,iwasmar riedt o
Lawr ence'smot her.Iwasi nvaalforamont h,
regardingsomebusi nessdealt hatti
me.meand
yourmot herhadsomeni ghtstogether ,iwasn'
tso
trut
hf ult
oyourmot herbecauseshedi dntknowt hat
iwasmar ried.Unti
lir et
urnedbackher e,andyour
mot herkeptcal l
ingme.OnedayLawr ence'smother
answer edhercal l,
andi nsult
edher .Ineverwent
backt ovaal ,butmyancest orstoldmet hati
plantedaseedi nher .Iguessiwassel fi
sh,
I
nser
t151

Iwassel
fi
shbecauseinevert
ri
edt
olookf
oryou.

Ididntknowwhatt osay,allt
histi
meiwaslooki
ng
atmyshoes.Itmakessensewhymymot herhad
thi
slesslovetowardsme, iguessiwaspuni
shed
formyf at
her'
swr ongdoi
ngs.If el
tsodef
eat
ed,i
hadnowor dslefttosay.

Lawr
ence:shoul
digetyousomewat
er?

Ijustnoddedwi t
hmyhead, hewentt othekit
chen.
Thenr et
urnedwiththeglassofwater,andhandedit
tome.It hankedhim anddrank.Thenplacedthe
glassont hetabl
e.

Thi
baba:pl
easeforgi
vememydaughter,iknowyou
musthavesuff
eredbecauseofmysel
fi
shness.I
am real
lysorr
y,ij
ustwi
shicoul
dhavedonet hi
ngs
bett
er.Butiam her
enow,andiam neverl
eavi
ng
you.

Okayifel
tthi
sjoyi
nmyheart,
heari
ngthosewor
ds
fr
om him.Thewordsf
il
ledt
hatvoi
dihadinmy
hear
t.Butist
il
ldi
dntl
ookupathim.

Lawrence:youhaveabr ot
hernowDi ntl
e,andhe
goingtomakesur ethatyouar eokayatallti
mes.I
knowwef ail
edyoual lthoseyears,butpl
easeall
ow
ustomakei tuptoyou.Wemi ghtnotbet heperf
ect
weathyfamily,
butipromi setotakecareofyouthe
bestwaywecoul d.Youar etheonlySibli
ngihave
Dintl
e,andidontcarewhatourpar entsdidinthe
past.Whatmat t
ersi
st hepresentandf ut
ure.

Thesepeopl esoundedl
ikegoodpeople,
withfl
aws
l
ikeeveryoneelse.I
twouldntbefai
rofmet opuni
sh
them becauseofthepast,ineedt
hem morenow.
Theyaret hebackupineedi nmyli
fe,
thefamil
yi
havebeenyear
ningf
or.

Me:it
hinkineedt
orel
easet
heguar
d.

Isai
dasif
inal
lyl
ookupt
othem,
andisawt
hem
smil
eatme.
Istoodupandwentout si
de, ireleasedt
heguar d
afteraskingmecountlesslythatiwassur e.He
fi
nallydroveoff
,Lawrencecameoutandaskedme
todr i
veinmycari nt
heyar d.Ij ustsmil
edand
droveinmycar ,isawThi babacomeoutt oo.Igot
outofmycar ,andwalkedt ot hem.

Lawr
ence:
(smi
led)iam t
aki
ngyouout
,ear
lyl
unch
asafamil
y.
I
nser
t152

Me:
(smi
led)oh,
i'
dlovet
hat
.
Lawrence:
(smi
led)per
fect
,wewillevenpassbymy
houseandyoumeetmybeaut i
fulwifeandson.

Thibaba:hel
lno,ar
etryi
ngtoscar
eoffmynewly
founddaughterbyint
roduci
nghertoyourl
oudwi
fe?

Yohicoul dn'thelpbutlaughatt hat,Lawrencejust

l
ookedat' our '
fatherandshookhi shead.Justt hen,
Lawrenceopenedt hegarageandiwasmetby2019
bmwx3.Aw, ithoughthesai dwear enotweal t
hy
mos.Iwasaskedt ogetint hepassagerseat ,while
ourfathertookt hebackseat .Lawr encegotinthe
dri
ver'
sseatanddr oveoff.Ij
ustcoul dn'
tstop
smili
ngalone, theridefel
tl i
keadr eam comet rue.I
fel
tli
keallmypr oblemshadj ustf
adedaway, ifelt
athomewi thtwopeopl ewhogenui nelycaresabout
me.Iwasbr oughtbackf rom myt hought sbymy
fat
her'
svoi ce.

Hi
m:areyougoodbaby? ,youaret
ooquiet
.You
di
dntevenhearyourbr
othertal
ktoyou.
Me:oh,
iam sor
ryaboutt
hat
.Iwasj
ustdeepi
n
t
hought
s.

Lawrence:
(smi
led)we'
venot
iced.SoSpuror
Nandos?

Me:
(smi
led)whi
chonedoyouguysl
ike?

Thi
baba:
(l
aughed)t
heoneyoul
ike.

Me:
(laughed)t
henNandosi
tis.

20minutesl
aterwearr
ivedi
nNandos,
weor
der
ed,
payedandfoundatabl
e.
Minuteslat
erourf
oodcameandweat ewhil
e
gett
ingtoknowaboutmybrother'
sli
fe.Hewas
act
uallyapoli
cecommissi
oner,nowitexpl
ainedt
he
carhewasdr i
ving.Heis35,andbeenmar ri
edf or5
years.Hehasa3year soldson,bythenameof
Ntsako.Weevenspokesomemor eabouthowi
grewup,whichleftt
hebothofthem speechless.

Thi
baba:iam sosor
ryt
hatyouhadtoexper
ience
al
lthat
,becauseofmysel
fi
shchoi
ces.

Me:it
sreall
yokaydad,it
sallinthepast
.Ibel
ieve
weneedtof ocusonthepresentandfut
ure,
li
kemy
br
otheroverheresai
d.

Theybothgavemet hesewidestsmiles,aswe
conti
nuedtoeat.Whenwewer edoneeat i
ng,we
tookourt
hingsandwal kedout
.Wegoti nthecar
,
anddrovepastKfctogetsomekr ushers.
I
nser
t153

Lawrencesuggest
edthatwepassbyhi
shouse,
so
t
haticanmeethiswif
eandson.Plushewant
edto
gr
absomeclothestochange,
sincehewi
llbe
sl
eepi
ngatourfat
her'
shouseagain.
15mi nutesl
aterwear r
ivedathishugeand
beaut i
fulhouse.Wewal kedinside,andwewer e
wel comedbyt hischubbylit
tleboycal l
ingouthis
father.Andiknewi tmusthavebeenNt sako,we
settledinthelounge.Thenasl im,caramel ski
n
tonedl adywalkedin.Shefirstl
ywal kedtogreetmy
father,thencamet ogreetme.Thenshewentt o
settlenexttoherhusband, whohadNt sakoonhi s
l
ap.

Lawrence:(
smil
ed)mywi f
e,Meetmynewl yfound
l
itt
lesist
erDint
le.Shei
sfrom Pr
etori
a,shearri
ved
today.Li
lsismeetmybeautif
ulwifeConnie,
and
thi
sismynaught yboyNtsako.

Connie:
(smi
led)wow,iam happyt
omeetyouDintl
e.
Atl
eastiwontbetheonlywomaninthesebunchof
guys.
Me:(
laughed)iam pleasedt
omeetyout
ooma'
am.
Youhaveabeaut i
fulhome.

Connie:
(smil
ed)thankyousomuch.Sowhenare
youleaving?
,iwasthinki
ngmaybeyoucoul
dstay
her
ef orfewdaysjusttogett
oknoweachother
.

Dad:ohno,i
twontbepossi
blemakot
i.Shest
il
l
needstobondwi
thherfat
her.

Wealll
aughedoutloud,
mor
eespeci
all
ytohi
s
f
aci
alexpressi
on.

Lawr
ence:
(l
aughed)daddy'
sli
tt
legi
rlal
ready.

Dad:(
laughed)l
eavemydaught
eralone.act
ual
lyi
thi
nkyoushouldjustdr
opusoff
,andcomebackt o
yourwife.
Lawrence:
(laughed)ohwow,replacingmeal
ready
dad??.Iwontdosuch,iam r
eturninghomewithyou
guys.Iwil
lseemywi fet
omorrow.

Weal lbustedoutwi t
hlaughter
,asConni ebrought
uscooki esandj ui
cesincewerejectedthefood.I
wasf inall
yathomeguys, thewarmt hthatifel
twas
outoft hi
swor l
dshame.3hour sl at
erwesai dour
goodbyes, Lawrencetookhisminibag.Nt sakocri
ed
forhisdad, somydadaskedConni etopacksome
clothesforNtsakotoo.Wef i
nall
ywal kedout,and
l
ef tConniealone.
I
nser
t154

25mi nuteslaterwearr
ivedatmyf at
her'
shouse,
par
kedt hecarandmadeourwayi nside.Ntsakoran
tot
hel oungeandt ookat vr
emot e,ashebegant o
scr
ollforotherchannel
s.Wel efthimint helounge,
andsettl
edi nthekit
chen.Myf atherwassuddenl y
hadthisseriousandscarylook,soheaskedme
andLawr encet osi
tdown.
Dad:yoursi
steri
str
oubl
edLawr
ence,
andihavet
o
hel
pher.

Lawr
encequi
ckl
yst
oodup,
andiwasnowconf
used.

Lawrence:nonodadwespokeaboutit
,andwe
agr
eedt hatyouwi
llbel
eavi
ngt
hatli
febehi
nd.

Dad:youdoknowt
hatyoudontj
ustl
eavet
hatl
if
e,
ri
ght?

Me:okay,
what
sgoi
ngonnow?

Dad:someonehasbeenmessingar oundwi
thyour
l
if
e,andineedtot
eachthem alesson.

Lawr
ence:dadno,
areyout
ryi
ngt
oscar
eherof
f
al
ready?

Me:wellihear
dthathei
sawel lknownwi t
ch,no
needtohideitfr
om me.Imeant hatiswhyhewas
bannedf r
om Nwamitwavi
ll
age.Ri ght
?

Dad:l
etmeguess,
youpassedbyt
hepal
ace?

Me:yes,
isi
ttr
uet
hough?

Lawrence:ar
eyoustil
lgoingtoask?
,af
teryou
hear
dhi mtalki
ngaboutsolvi
ngsomeonewhoi s
messingwithyourl
if
e?

Me:yoh,
ireal
lydontwantanyt
roubl
e.

Dad:wel
lipr
omisedyourbr
othert
hatiwoul
dstop
myways.Butnotaf
terwhatiwasshown,weneed
t
ogoPr
etor
iar
ightaway.

Lawrence:dadyouneedtocalm down,justst
op
withyourhast
ydecisi
ons.Weal lneedt
ocalm
down,ithi
nkyouneedt orestnowdad.Wewi l
ltal
k
tomorrowmor ni
ng.

Dad:Lawrenceiwontrepeatmysel
f,weneedt
obe
i
nPr et
ori
aasinyester
day.

Iwasnowscaredandconf used,thelookonmy
fat
her
'sf
acewasnot hi
nglikewhatihaveseen
whenigother
e.AndbyLawr ence'sl
ook,iknewt
hat
dadmeantser
iousbusiness.Ijustdi
dntknowhow
tocal
mthebothofthem down.

Me:dadiam sur
eeveryt
hingcanwai
tunt
il
t
omorrow,whenever
yoneiscalm.
Dad:babyyoudontunderst
and,
thatwi
tchi
s
al
readyal
artedt
hatyoufoundmeandyouareher
e.
I
nser
t155

Me:dadwhatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?

Dad:iam t
alki
ngaboutyourboyf
ri
end'
smot
her
.

Me:okay,woahhowdoyouknowabouther
?.Ohno,
dontanswerthatone.

Lawrence:
(chuckled)iam gl
adyouareget
ti
ngit
now.Sinceyouar enotchangingyourmi
ndoldman,
whencanwel eave?

Dad:l
etsmakei
tar
ound12am t
omor
row.

Me:12am?
Lawr
ence:wel
lthat
swhathappenswhenyouhave
apar
entofawitchDint
le.Youbet
tersl
eepnow.

Hedi dnthavet otel

lmet wice,hest oodupasmy
brothershowedmet her oom iwillbesleepingi n.I
didntevenwantt ocheckmyphoneoranyt hingelse.
Ijustgotundert hecoversandcover edmyhead.I
knowipr omi sedmysmar tmout hthatiwoul dcall
her,butitwasntagoodt ime.Ther ewasgoi ngtobe
awar ,
andihadt obepr eparedfori t
.Iknowi tsevi
l
tosayt his,
butiwaski ndofgl adthatmyf atherwas
awi tch.ObviouslyMrsMoeket siisuntouchabl e
becauseshei salsoawitch.Wi t
hmyf atheronmy
side,iam surewecandef eather.Butiwasmor e
wor r
iedaboutt heoutcome, andmor eespeci al
ly
whenKhant shofindsoutwhathi smot heri s
capabl eof.

☆Khant
sho☆
9pm therewasaloudknockonmydoor .Iqui
ckl
y
wor emygownandwentt oattendi
t.Wheniopened
thedoor,mymotherjustpushedmei nsi
deand
closedthedoor
.Shelookedlikeamadwoman.

Her
:wher
eisshe?
,it
houghtyousai
dshewas
goi
nghome.

Me:mothercal
m down,t
her
e'ssomeoneupst
air
s.
Whatgotyousoworkedup?

Her
:cal
lDi
ntl
enow,
findoutwher
eshei
s.

Me:ispoketoheryest
erday,
shei
sathome.What
's
goi
ngonwi t
hyou?

Her:shel
ied,
sheliedt
ousKhantsho.Shewent
somewhereelse,
sheisnoti
nvaal.
Me:whatareyoutal
kingabout
?,imeanhowdoyou
knowthatshel
ied?

Her:ij
ustknowokay,
cal
lhernow.Askherwher
e
sheis.

Me:okayf
ine,
justtakeaseat
.Iam goi
ngt
ofet
ch
myphoneinmyr oom.

Shewenttosi
tint
hel
ounge,asir
anupst
air
stomy
room.If
oundSont
oawake.
I
nser
t156

Her
:what
swi
tht
henoi
se?

Me:i
tsmymom,
justgobackt
osl
eep.Iwi
lldeal
wi
thher
.
Her
:okay.

Shecoveredher selfwiththecovers,thenitookmy
phoneandr eturnedtot helounge.Mymot herwas
i
nast ateicouldn'tunderstand.Shewassweat ing,
andunsettl
ed.Ij ustcouldn'tunderst
andwhyshe
wantedDintlethismuch.Iset t
lednexttoher,asi
dial
edDintl
e'snumber s.Buttheytookmest r
aight
tovoicemail
.Itriedherot herphone,butitdidthe
same.

Me:bot
hherphonesar
eof
f.

Mymom qui ckl

ystoodup,l
ikeamadwoman.Ihad
toquickl
ypushherdowntot hecouch,becauseshe
wantedtoleavei
nthatst
ate.Ijustcoul
dn'
tall
ow
her.

Her:ihavetol
eaveKhant
sho,
thi
ngsar
eaboutt
o
getnasty.
Me:idontcare,youar
enotl
eavi
ngi
nthatst
ate.
Youaresleepi
nghere.

Her
:ther
eisnot
imet
osl
eepson,
ihavet
opr
epar
e
mysel
f.

Me:wel
lpr
epar
eyoursel
finmyhouse,
becauseyou
ar
enotgoi
nganywhere.

Shefur
iouslyyankedhersel
foffme,andran
upst
air
s.Ijustshookmyhead, andwenttolockthe
door
s.Andt ookthekeys,i
ncaseshet r
iest
oleave
whil
eiam sleepi
ng.Ifi
nall
ywentbackt omyr oom,
undr
essedt hegownandgoti nbed.
5am iwaswokenbymyphoneringi
ng,
iextended
myhadandlookedati
t.Andi
twasDint
le,
iquickl
y
satupandl
oweredmyvoice.
*
phonecal
l*
Me:uhm,
hey.

Her:hey,sorr
yforwaki
ngyouup.Butiam atyour
doorstep,comeopenupforme.

Thenshehungup, forami nut

emyhear twas
beatingsof astwhenil ookedatSontowhowas
besideme.Butiqui ckl
ycomposedmysel f,
imean
whyshoul diwor rybecauseDi nt
leisonl
ymysist
er.
Imeanihavenot hingtowor ryabout,
besi
desshe
hasaboyf riendtoo.Islowlymovedoutofmybed,
tr
yingnott owakeSont o.Iwor emygownand
mor ningshoes.Thent ookmyhousekeysandwent
downst ai
rs.

Wheniopenedt
hedooriwasmetbyDint
le,
and
t
hist
womenbehi ndher
.Okaynowwascuri
ous,
i
meanit
sonly5am int
hemorning.
I
nser
t157
Her
:ai
ntyougoi
ngt
oal
lowusi
n?

Me:uhm,
sor
ry.Comei
n.

Imadeawayforthem,thencl
osedthedoor.Dint
le
l
edthem t
othel
ounge,soifol
lowedthem and
set
tl
edonaoneseatercouch.

Her:sor
ryforwaki
ngyousoear
lyint
hemor
ning,
butmyf at
herwant
edtocomeherenow.

Okayit
hinkil
osti
tri
ghtt
her
e.

Me:yourwhat
?

Oldman:iam act
uall
yheref
oryourmot
herson,
i
bel
ieveshei
shere.Right
?
Me:uhm.
..
yes.butdi
dyousayyourf
ather
?,how?

Guy:gofet
chyourmotherf
orus,
shewi
llansweral
l
yourquest
ionspl
ease.

ifel
tli
keiwasdr eaming,ihadtocl
osemyeyes
andopenthem again.Buttheywerest
il
lhere,
l
ookingatme.IlookedatDi nt
le,
andshelooked
away.
If
inal
lyr
anupst
air
s,andknockedi
nt heguestroom.
Mymom appear
edaftersomeminutes,l
ookingvery
i
rr
itat
ed.
Iknowshehat
esbei
ngwakenup,
butt
hiswas
i
mportant
.

Her
:ihopeyouhaveagoodreasonwhyyouwaken
meupsoearlyi
nthemorni
ng.
Me:youhaveguest
s,f
oll
owme.

Shewasal readyi
nherclothes,
ormaybeshesl ept
withthem on.Wefinal
lymadeittot
helounge,but
shestoppedwhenshesawDi ntl
eandthosepeople.
Dintl
eandherpeopl equi
cklyst
oodup,andlooked
ourway.

Oldman:hel
lisnotf
ar,
fir
ewi
llbeyourr
ide.Nowsi
t
yourassdownma'am.

What
?,di
dhej
usti
nsul
tmymot
heri
nmyhouse.

Me:ol
dmanyouar
enot
..
.

Dint
le:j
ustshutupandsitdownKhantsho.
I
nsulti
ngmyf atheri
sthelastt
hingyouwantt
odo
ri
ghtnow.
Isodidntexpectthatfr
om Dintl
e,ithi
nkmymot
her
wasshockedt hani was.Shejustremained
standi
ngwhi l
elookingatthatol
dman.

Me:mom what
sgoingon?
,whyi
sDi
ntl
eref
err
ingt
o
t
hismanasherfat
her.

Ol
dman:(
laughed)answeryoursonma'
am,
oryou
wantmet
odot hehonoursforyou?

Mom:leavemyson'shousenow!,Khant
shocal
l
secur
it
yfort
hesepeople.Theyar
eheretoi
ntr
ude.
I
nser
t158

Ol
dman:wr ongmovema' am,youmessedwit
hthe
wrongf
amilythist
imearound.Howdoyoueven
sl
eepatni
ght?,knowi
ngthatyouki
ll
edyourown
gr
andchi
ldbecauseofyourli
es.
Me:okaythat
'senough,
ithi
nkyouallneedt
oleave.
Youcantbeinsul
ti
ngmymot herl
ikethi
s.

Guy:ithi
nkweneveri ntroducedour sel
ves.My
namei sLawr enceMal uleka,poli
cecommi ssioner
i
nNwami t
wavi l
lage.Iam wi t
hmyf atherhere,
Thi
babaMal uleka.Ibeli
eveyouhaveal readymet
myl i
tt
lesist
erDi ntl
e.Althoughyouwer emadet o
bel
ievethatyouwer erelated,byyourmotherover
her
e.Wear eher etosolveal l
that.

Il
ookedatmymot heri
ndisbel
ief
,ifel
tli
keij
ustgot
st
abbedwit
hakni f
eonmychest .Thesepeopl
e
l
ookedtooser
ious,t
obelying.

Mom:Khant shodontyoudareli
stentothese
people.ThisisallDi
ntl
e'
sdoings,sheplot
tedallt
his.
Whatar eyouhopi ngtogainbydoingthi
sDintl
e?,
gett
ingstrangerstoconfusemyson.
Oldman: (l
aughed)pat het
icoldwoman, whydont
youtellyoursonwhatyoudi dhuh? .Myboy,you
arepracti
call
ymar r
iedtoyourmot her.Herweath
comesf rom thatsickmarriage.Hercultmarri
edthe
twoofyouwi t houtyourknowledge, t
hisiswhyshe
wentasf arasf aki
ngt heDNAt est
sjusttokeep
youandmydaught erapart.I
fyoumar r
yagirl
,she
dies.

Noweveryonewasinshock,tearsfel
lof
fmyf ace.
Howdoesmyownmot herdot hatt
ome? ,wasithat
bl
ind?
.Whywoul dshesacri
fi
cewi t
hmel iket
hat?,
whenilookedather
.herl
ooksol dherof
f.Iknewit
wasallt
rue.

JustthenSont
ocamedownonl ywear i
ngmyshirt
.
Yohiwasbur i
edali
ve,ist
oleaglanceatDint
leandi
sawal lt
hehur
tinherface.Knowingthatwewere
notrelat
edwakenallt
hefeeli
ngsitri
edtobury.

Justt
henmymot
hert
urnedi
ntoamonkey,
causi
ng
everyonetoscream.Sontoj
ustfainted,
wewer eal
l
i
nshock.Themonkeyj umpedstraightt
oDint
le'
s
fat
her,butDint
le'
sfat
herquickl
ychangedintothi
s
hugesnake.
I
nser
t159

Weal lsteppedbackst i
llinshock, Nooneknew
whatt odo.Di ntlewasscr eami ngherl ungsout , as
hisbr otherheldherof ff r
om goi ngt ot hatfight.Just
thent hesnakeswal lowedt hemonkey, andDi ntle
fainted.Herbr ot herandicoul dn'tkeepoureyesof f
thatsnake, aftersomemi nutesthesnakespatout
themonkey.Andi ttr ansformedbackt omymot her,
ast hesnaket ransfer redbackt oDi ntle'sfather.I
quicklyr antomymot herbutiwaschasedbackby
deepvoi cescomi ngf r
om her .Thent heywentof f,
i
movedbackt oherandshewasnomor e.Ihadno
tearst ocryforher ,ievenf el
tlikeshewentof ftoo
easily.Sher uinedmyl i
fe,sacrifi
cedwi thme.What
kindofamot herdoest hat ?,
imeanf or
what ?...
wealth? .Sur elyimeantnot hingt oher .Iwas
broughtbackf r
om myt hought sbyDi ntle'
sf at
her
coughi
ng.Lawr
encewasal
readynextt
ohim,
iwent
tohelphi
m putt
heol
dmanont hecouch.

Lawr
ence:ineedr
awr
edmeat
.

Me:uhm.
..
ok.

Irant
othef
ri
dge,
andretur
nedwit
hit
.Ihandedi
t
overt
oLawr
ence,
hehelpedhi
sfat
hereati
tli
ket
hat
.

Lawrence:heshoul
dbefineaf
ter30mi
nut
es,
we
needtowakeupt hegi
rl
s.

Me:it
hinkweneedt
osor
toutmymot
her
'sbody
f
ir
st.

Hi
m:sor
tout
?
Me:bur
nitorsomet
hing,
ireal
lydontcar
e.

Him:youarest
il
langr
y,dontmakeanyhast
y
deci
sions.

Me:ar
eyougoi
ngt
ohel
pmewr
api
tuporwhat
?

Heexhal
edloudly,
aswewrappedmymot her
's
bodywit
hacar pet
.Butwewer
eint
erupt
edbyt he
ol
dman'svoice.

D.
dad:dontdothat,dontbel
ikeher .Callyour
motuar
ypeople,andgiveherapr operfuneral.At
t
heendofthedayshewasst i
llyourmot her
.

☆Lawr
ence☆

Hear
ingmyf
athergi
veKhant
shot
hatadvi
ce,
iknew
thatMr sMoeketsiwasnotdeadandmyf at
herhad
betterplansforher.Hejustdidntwantt
omakei t
obviousi nfr
ontofKhant sho.Theoldmanwasnot
planningonendi nghiswaysanyt imesoon.

Khantshodi
dashewasadvi
sed,
andt
hegi
rl
swer
e
waken.
I
nser
t160

Theothergir
ljustr
anoffwear
ingonl
ythatshi
rt
,
Dint
lewalkedtoourfat
her.
Anhourl
aterKhant
sho'
smot
uar
ycamet
ofet
cht
he
body,
andlef
t.
Myf atherwasgivenar oom torestin,
thenDintl
e
andi helpedKhantshotocleanupt hehouse.Itwas
thedecentthingtodo,afteral
lthemesswecaused
i
nher e.Icoul
dseet hatDintl
eandKhant shower e
kindofavoidi
ngeachot her,soexcusedmysel fasi
wentt ocheckonmydad.
It
ookt
hest
air
sandwal
kedt
othebedr
oom hewas
i
n,iknockedonceandwalkedi
n.If
oundhi
m si
tt
ing
onthebed,iset
tl
ednextt
ohim.

Hi
m:ineedt
ogobackhomet
oni
ght
.

Me:onceawi
tchal
waysawi
tch.

Hi
m:(l
aughed)di
dyoureal
lythinkiwoul
dletherof
f
t
hateasi
ly?
,myboyshaven'teateni
nawhile.

Me:welligiveuponyouoldman.Sowhatar e
goingt
ot el
lyourdaught
eraboutyoursuddent
ri
p
backhome?

Him:iwi
llt
hinkofsomethi
ng,somethi
nglike
needi
ngmymedsaf t
erwhathappenedtoday.And
youaregoi
ngtobackmeup.
Me:wel
liwontbel
eavi
ngherher
eal
one.

Him:whosai
dyoushoul
d,iwi
llgethomeonmy
own.Youst
ayher
eandmakesur eyoursi
steri
s
okay.

Me:
(l
aughed)af
atherl
ikemi
nene.

Hejustbust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er,
asishookmy
head.

☆Khant
sho☆

Dint
leandiwerel
efthavingthi
sveryawkward
momentinthekit
chen.Wewer enotsaying
anyt
hingtoeachother
,justmakingfoodfor
ever
yoneinsil
ent
.
Me:canwet
alk?

Her:notnow,
atleastnottoday.Andwewi
llbe
l
eavingtomyflataftereat
inghere.

Me:what?,why?
.Youreall
ydonthavetoleave,
plus
yourf
lati
snotbigenoughforal
lofyou.

Her
:wewi
llbef
ine.

Me:wi
llwebeokayt
hough,
imeanyouandi
?

Her
:idontknowKhant
sho.

Whenwewer edone,
sher
anupst
air
stocal
lher
f
atherandbr
other
.
Justt
henmyphoner
ang.
*
phonecal
l*
Sam:si
rwehaveapr
obl
em.

Me:whati
sitnowSam?

Sam:whenwearri
vedatthemot
uar
yyourmot
her
's
bodywasnoti
nthecar.
I
nser
t161

I
tjustdi
sappear
ed.

Me:ar
eyouki
ddi
ngme?

Sam:isweart
hedoorswer
elocked,
weal
sodont
knowwhathappened.

Ij
usthungup,andsettl
eddownaroundthetabl
e.I
wassopissedoffbecause,
itmi
ghthavebeenher
evi
lwayspayi
ngof
f.Thewor
ldi
sabet
terpl
ace
wit
houther
.

☆Nar
rat
ed☆

Laterthatday,Dintl
edrovet
oherflatwi
thher
brotherli
keshesai d.Shewasangr
yatKhant sho,
mor eli
kejealousbecauseofthewomant heyfound
i
nt hemor ni
ng.Al t
houghherhear
twasyear ni
ngfor
hi
m.
Khant
showaslef
tal
one,
andhej
ustbur
iedhi
msel
f
i
nhisminibar
.
Thibabagothomear ound8pm, hewentstraightto
hissecretroom.Whenheopenedt heroom, he
l
aughedoutl oudashecoul dseethathi
spar kage
hadar r
ived.Anditt
iedont hebednaked.Hewal ked
furt
herin,andcall
edouthi sboys.Theycameout
underthebedandcl appedt hei
rhands.Mrs
Moeket siwassil
entl
ycr yi
ng,asshecouldnowsee
thathercultwasnotpower fult
hanThibaba.
Thibaba:heh,
weathywomanonmybed.Myboys
aregoingtohaveafeastt
oni
ght
.Doyourt
hing
boys.

His3hal fhuman, halfani maljumpedont hebed.

Thefirstoneposi ti
onedhi msel fonhercookie
entr
anceandf orcefullybegant oroughlymovei n
andoutofher .Shecoul dn'thelpbutscream inpain,
theotheronepushedi tsdickinhermout h.
Chockingherwi t
hi t
.Whi l
et hethir
donej ustbegan
tochewherni pples.Thibabawascl appi
nghis
hands, enj
oyingever ymi nuteofit.Thepainwas
unbearableforMr sMoeket si,
andshegaveupas
shediedont hespot .The3boysonl ymovedf rom
herbodyaf terrel
easi ng.

Twoweeksl at
er,mybrotherhadgonebackhome.
Mysmar tmouthwashappyt oknowt hatif
oundmy
fami
ly,iwasnolongersureaboutgoi
ngbackt o
vaal
.IhaventseenKhantshosincet
hatday,iguess
iwastryingtofi
ndmysel
f.Somuchhadhappened,
andifeltli
keweneededsometi
meapart.Heal
so
neededt odealwi
thhi
smother
'sdeat
h.
I
nser
t162

Ihadawesomebondi ngdayswithmybrot
her,andi
knewforsurethatiwasnol ongerl
acki
nganyt
hing
i
nmyl i
fe.Allihadtodowast oshapeupmyf utur
e,
andmovet otherightdir
ect
ion.
Itwas23December ,andmybr ot
herpromi sedto
comef etchmesoicanspendChr ist
maswi ththem
i
nGi yani .Ihavebeent alkingtohi mint hemor ning,
sohet ol dmet hatishouldber eadyat1pm.I twas
nowhal fpast12andiwasr eadyanddr essedi nmy
ti
ght,kneel engthgoldof fshoulderdresswi thblack
sti
let
tos.iwasonmynewbr aidedstrai
ghtup, Make
upwasonpoi ntandiwasf eeli
ngmysel f.Lol,sis
hadsomucht obegr atefulforguys.Idoubl e
checkedal lmyt hings,checkingifididntl eave
anythingi mpor tant.
Justt
henmyphoner
ang,
andi
twasmybr
other
.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:babyiam out
side.

Iquickl
yhungup, t
ookallmythingsandmademy
wayout .Il
ockedmyf l
atandwal keddownstai
rs.I
spottedhiscar,andhegotoffwhenhesawme.He
metmehal fwayandwebr i
efl
yhugged.Thenhe
l
oadedmybagsi nthebackseat.Igoti
nthe
passagerseat,hegotinthedriver'
sseatanddrove
off
.

Him:youlookr
eal
lybeaut
if
ull
ilmi
ss,
am imi
ssi
ng
somethi
ng?

Me:
(l
aughed)nope,
ijustf
eel
good.

Hi
m:(l
aughed)iam gl
ad.Sowearegoingtofet
ch
t
hisol
dfri
endofmineinPheasantHi
llBouti
que
Hot
el.Ipr
omi
sewewontt
akel
ong,
itsonl
yinand
out
.

Me:yeahsur
e,nopr
obl
em.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)gr
eat
.

Theridewassoot hing,wi
thhi
mtel
li
ngmeaboutthe
naughtyNtsako.Ijustcoul
dn'
twai
ttogethome.
30mi nuteslaterwearrivedatthathot el
,heasked
met owal kinwi t
hhim.Ihappi l
ydi d,
becausei
wantedt oseei nsi
de.Hebr i
eflyspokewi ththe
recepti
onist,
thenwewer eshownawayt ot he
garden.Wewal kedtothatside,andwewer e
welcomedbyt hisbeautif
uldecor.Itlookedlikei
t
wasaweddi ng, whenwewal kedf urt
herint hepi
ano
begant oplayandever yonestoodupandf acedour
way.
Iwasnowconf
used,
I
nser
t163
ilookedatmybr otherandhej usttookmyhandand
walkedf urt
herinwi t
hme.Whenil ookedamongt he
peopleisawConni e,awandwhenisawmysmar t
mout hij ustlosti t.tearsfellof
fmyf ace,Ithinki
justrealisedthatal lthispeoplewher eact uall
y
waiti
ngf orme, if i
nal l
yl ookedahead. .
.Godt herehe
wasi nhi sblackt uxedo.Myhandsomemanwas
standingnextt ot hepr i
est,i
tfi
nall
ysi nkedint hati t
wasact uall
ymyweddi ng.Asurpri
seweddi ngat
that,whenwef inal l
yr eachedthefirstrowmyf ather
walkedt omebef or eicoul dgettoKhant sho.Then
mybr otherwal kedaway.Myf at
herwi pedmyt ears
withhi shand, andbr i
eflyhuggedme.

Hi
m:hel
ovesyouandit
rusthi
m.

Hekissedmycheekandf i
nal
lyhandedmet o
Khantsho.Icoul
dn'tevenlookathim,heusedhi
s
i
ndexf i
ngertoli
ftmyf ace.
Hi
m:trustmewit
hyourhear
tbaby,
ipr
omi
set
o
t
akegoodcareofi
t.

Me:
(smi
led)it
rustyoubaby.

Past or:(
smi l
ed)wel lgreenli
ghtsar eonnow.Thank
youf orj oini
ngust odayonsuchawonder f
ul
occasi on.Wewoul dl i
ketowel comeal lofyouhere
todayt ocel ebr
ateandt hankyouf orchoosingto
spendt hedaywi thus.Lovehasbr oughtKhant
sho
andDi ntleandeveryonei nthisroom t oget
hert
oday.
Wel lthegr oom polit
elyaskedmenott osaymuch,
sincehehadal ottosayt ohisbride.Overtoyou
son.

Him:myl oveyoursmilebri
ghtensupmydays, your
l
ovechangedmeandmademer esponsible.Icant
seemyl i
fewithoutyou,babyIwillrespectyou,
honoryou,andcherishyouasl ongaswebot hshall
l
ive.TodayItakeyoutobemywi f
eandvowt ohel
p
creat
eforusal i
feofhonesty,f
ideli
ty,tr
ust,andlove.
Toloveyounotassomeideaofyou,butasyou
tr
ulyare.Togr
owwi t
hyou,l
earnwit
hyou,andto
l
iveoutourdayshandinhand.Fi
nal
ly,
Ipromise
youmysel f
.

Goshicoul
dn'
tst
opmyt
ear
sfr
om f
all
ing,
iam sur
e
iwasamess.

Me:babyiam speehless,imeanidi
dntexpect
ever
ythi
nginherealltoget
her
.
I
nser
t164

Ineveryt
hingthatwehavebeent hrough, you
showedmeendl essloveMrMoeket si.Ifounda
homeinyou, youshowedmet hemeani ngofl ove.I
l
oveyouwi thmywhol eheartwi
thapassi onthat
can'
tbeexpressedinwords,onl
yi nkisses, gl
ances,
andyearsofadventurebyyoursi
de.
Ipromisetobeyourhonest
,fai
thf
ul,
andl
ovi
ngwi
fe
fortherestofmydays.
Iwaslostinhi seyes, andiknewt hatiwantedt o
spendther estofmyl if
ewithhim.Ihadnot hingin
myname, butal lofthatmeantnothing.What
matter
edwast hel i
feiwasgoingtobui l
dwitht he
l
oveofmyl ife.Ri ngswerepresentedbymygr oom
andwedi dt her ingsexchange,fol
lowingafterthe
pastor
.theywer esomagi call
ybeaut i
ful
,If
el li
nlove
wit
hmyr i
ngi nst antl
y.

Past
or:Byt
hepowervestedinmeInowpronounce
youMrandMrsMoeketsi.youmaykissyourbr
ide.

Theydidntevenhavetotel
lhimtwice,heattacked
mylipsasweki ssedsopassi
onately.Taki
ngal lthe
ti
mewel ostthosemonthsback.Webr oketheki ss
aft
erheari
ngmyf at
her
'svoi
ce.

Wefinal
lywenttorel
axatthi
sawe-
inspi
ri
nglush
gar
dens,mysti
calponds,
waterf
eat
uresside.I
twas
thebestvi
ew,ourfri
endsandfami l
iesmade
speechswhil
ewegotser vedstart
er.Icouldn'
teven
hearwhateveryonewassaying,iwasf acetoface
withthel
oveofmyl i
fe.

Hi
m:itookmychancesi
nallt
hese,iwasprayi
ng
t
hatyoudontr
ejectmei
nfr
ontofeveryone.

Me:notachance,
imustsayyour eal
lyoutdi
d
your
sel
f.Ir
eall
ydidntexpectal
lthese.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)anyt
hingf
orMr
sMoeket
si.

Ourlipsmet ,ashishandsr anbet

weenmyt highs.I
real
lywant edhim, andiknewhewant edmet oo.
Wecont inuedtoki ssuntilweheardsomeonecl ear
t
heirthroat.Wequi cklybrokethekiss,andi
twas
mysmar tmout h.Icouldn'thel
pbutmovef r
om the
t
ableandat t
ackherwi t
ht heti
ght
esthugever.
Minuteslaterwebr okeit
.
Her:
(smi
led)congr
atul
ati
onsMr
sMoeket
si,
iam so
pr
oudofyoubabe.
I
nser
t165

Me:t
hankyousomuchbaby,
butwespokel
ast
ni
ghtandyoudi
dntgi
vemeahint
.

Her:
(l
aughed)ipr
omi
sednott
osayanyt
hing.Iam
sor
ry.

Me:it
sokayl
ove.Nowcomemeetmyf
atherand
br
other.

Her:ohwealr
eadymet
,lolweactual
lymet
yester
dayatt
hehot
elt
hatKhantshobookedf
oral
l
ofus.
Me:what
?,youwer
etalki
ngt
omewhil
eyouwere
here?
.Wowyousureknowhowt
okeepyourmout
h
shut.

Wespokesomemor e,t
heniwal kedt omyf ather
andbr other
.Justtothankt hem f orlovingme, and
havingmyback.Ievengott omeetKhant sho's
family,Theuncl
est hatnegot i
atedf ormyl obola
withoutmyknowl edge.Althoughiwant edt omeet
auntDor ahwhohadMr sMoeket si'sbackatal l
ti
mes, butitwassaidthatshecoul dn'tmakei t.i
fi
nallywentbacktomyhusband, Aswewer e
servedmout hwateringfood, whilelisteni
ngt o
musi c.

Anhourlater,
wesneakedoutoft hegarden,since
myhusbandhadbet terplansforusupstai
rs.He
coll
ect
edourr oom accesscar dfr
om therecepti
on,
thenwetookanel evator.Wejustcoul
dn'tkeepour
handsoffeachother,wef i
nall
ygottoourfloor.
Thenwentt ooursuite,whenwewal kedinwewer e
welcomedbyr edcandl esandr osesont hefloor.
Wel ockedthedoorandbegant okissr i
ghtthere.
Ourcl ot
hesbegant oflyunti
lwer eachedthebed.
Hislipswerer oughandunyi eldingbutididntmove
away.Iwasashungr yashewas, ourkisseswer e
deeperwhi l
eourt ouchesgotwi l
der.Icoul
dn'twai t
tohavehi minsideme.Hegui dedmybacksot hati
canbeont heedgeoft hebed,andkneel edinfront
ofme.Hespr edmyl egssli
ghtly,r
unninghishand
downal lovermyski n.Hepl acedkissesbetween
myl egsalongmyt highs.Pushingmebackt ol i
e
acrossthesheet s,hef i
nal
lymovedupt ojoinme.
Heconti
nuedt
orunhisl
ipsandtouguesal
ongmy
body,
withmegui
dingwhereiwantedmost
.

Hewashardert
hanever
,her
eachedmyli
psand
pul
ledmedowntohim.Weki
ssedsodeepl
y,
I
nser
t166

asourhandswher
er unni
ngal
loverourbodi
es,as
wet
riedt
ogetascloseaspossi
ble.Ourhi
psrocked
toget
herashi shardshaf
tsl
ideagainstmywet
cooki
e.Het ookmyhandsandpl acedthem above
myhead, entwini
ngourfi
ngers.

Hef inall
ypusheddeepi nsideme, asimoaned
l
oudl y.Hewasbecomi ngbr eathl essashebegant o
movei nandoutofme.Hepul l
edhi msel fuponhi s
kneesandbegant hr
ust i
ngi ntomemor est eadily.
Ourbodi esmovedasoneef fortlessly, wi t
heach
thrustir aisedmyhi pst omeethi m.Pul li
nghi m
mor edeeperwi thmyl egs.Theconnect ionwast oo
deep, ifeltmor eali
ve.Ever ythingwet riedt obur yall
thosepastmont hswasar i
sen, not hi
ngf eltbetter
thanhavi nghimi nsi
deme.Ourhandswer est i
ll
ti
ghtlycl aspedabovemyheadandibegant o
ti
ghtenar oundhi m.Iwasget ti
ngcl ose, asiwas
screami nghi snamel ouderandt hatdr ovehi m
mor ecr azy.Iknewhewasal socl ose, ashel etout
adeepmoan.Hedeepenedhi sst rokesl i
ftingme
offthebedwi t
heveryt hrust.Icoul dn'thol dback
anyl onger ,wit
honehar dthr usthegr oanedl ouder
aswebot hcame.Wef inallyl oosedt hegr iponour
handsandhelayednextt
ome.Myheadgoi ngto
restbet
weenhisshoul
derandneck.Thenhel
ooked
downonme.

Hi
m:t
hankyouf
oragr
eei
ngt
obei
ngmywi
fe.

Me:(
smi
led)icoul
dn'
thavehadi
tanyot
herwaymy
l
ove.

Heki
ssedmyf
orehead,
aswecl
osedoureyesand
sl
ept
.

25December ,
wehadabi gfeastwithhi
sfamil
yand
mineathi shouse.Oh, ourhouse.Wehadthe
great
edt i
meever ,alt
houghiwi shedmysmart
mout hcouldhavej oi
nedus.Butshehadt obewit
h
herfamilytoo.
31December,weheadedtoGi
yanit
ospendour
newyear
'seveandnewyearatmyf ather
'shouse.
Buti
twasonlyKhantshoandi
,Khantsho'
suncles
couldn'
tmaket oGiyani.Wehadthemostamazi
ng
ti
mei nGiyani
,ievenhadachancet opassbyt
he
palacej
usttosayhey, andthequeenwassohappy
toseeme.
3r
djanuar
yKhant
shoandir
etur
nedhome.
I
nser
t167

Itwasnowbackt oreali
tyandihadt ofi
ndajob
asap.Ij
ustdidntwanttostayhomeanddonot hi
ng,
plusmybrotherwaspr eachi
ngalotaboutbei
ngan
i
ndependentwife.Khantshowaspr ovi
dingf
orme
andalot
,butireal
lydidntwantt
of ull
ydependon
him.

Hewasbackathi spracti
ce,andiwasdeepinj ob
hunting.Alt
houghi wasntmuchi nluckwithmy
qualif
icati
on.Oncei wasdoneemai li
ngmyCv' s,i
movedf r
om thecouchandwentt opourmyselfa
j
uice.Justt hentherewasaknockont hedoor,i
quicklywentt oatt
enditandiwasmetbyt hi
stall
scaryguy.Iwasnotgoi ngtoall
owhimi nsi
de
shame.

Me:hey,
canihel
pyou?

Him:wow, ihear
dthatsteel
gotmarried.Butihad
noideathathefoundhimselfsuchbeauty,howare
youma'am?

Me:iam f
ine.

Hi
m:r
elax,
iam her
eforyourhusband.I
shehome?

Me:no.

Him:ohmybad,pl
easet
ellhi
mthatRangerwas
heret
ocol
lect
.

Me:ohok.
Hethrewaki
ssonmeandl eft
.Okayt
hatwasver
y
scar
y,ii
mmediat
elydi
aledKhant
sho.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:mybeaut
if
ulwi
fe,
iwasj
ustt
hinki
ngabout
.

Me:babeaguybythenameofRangerwashere,
he
sai
dimusttel
lyouthathewasher
etocol
lect
.

Hi
m:nonesense,
didhegeti
nsi
det
hehouse?

Me:no,
hewasatt
hedoor
.

Hi
m:good,
lockyour
sel
finsi
de.Iwi
llhandl
eit
.

Me:what
sgoi
ngonbabe?
Hi
m:iwi
llhandl
eitsweet
hear
t,il
oveyouokay?

Me:il
oveyout
oobabe.

Wehungup, t
henil
ockedthedoor
sasiwastol
d.I
decidedtosetanal
armtowakemeupat4pm so
thaticanstar
tonsupper
.Theniwentt
oli
eupstai
rs.
Iwaswakenbymyphoner
ingi
ng,
andi
twas
Amanda.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:gi
rl
,hol
idaysar
eover
.Wher
ear
eyou?

Me:heybabe,
iam backatPt
a.

Her:gr
eat,ihear
daboutt
heweddi
ng.Event
houghi
wasntinvi
ted.
Me:
(l
aughed)i
twasasur
pri
se,
ial
sodi
dntknow.

Her:
(laughed)relaxhun.Sowhencanicomesee
you,imeant here'sajoboppor
tuni
tyf
orus.

Me:what
?,youser
ious?
I
nser
t168

Her:iam forr
eal
,gi
veme20mi
nut
esiwi
llbeat
yourplace.

Thenshehungup, ihopeshedoesntt hi
nkiam st
il
l
stayingatmyf lat.Bacauseshehasneverbeenher e
before.Imademywayt ot hebathr
oom andwashed
myf ace.Wheniwasdoneicheckedt heti
meandit
was3pm, imademywayt ot hekit
chenand
defrostedt hemeat .Justthentherewasaknockon
thedoor ,iquicklymademywayt oitandopenedit.
ItwasAmanda, webri
efl
yhuggedthenil
edherto
thelounge.Itr
iedtoof
ferhersomethi
ngt
odrink
butshedeclinedit
.

Her:wowgirlyouar
eli
vingbi
ghey,
imeanlookat
yourhouse.Whydoyouevenneedajob?

Me:wellever
ythi
ngi
nherebel
ongstomyhusband,
iwanttohavemyownt hi
ngstooyouknow.Imean
iam st
il
lyoungtobesett
li
ngf
orahousewife.

Her:wow,iwishihadyourmindset.Anywaysasi
wassayingthereisajobopport
unit
yinjobur
g.Soi
am goi
ngtogi veyoutheaddr
ess,youhavetobe
ther
eby9am t omorr
ow.

Me:oh,
youar
eal
if
esaverbabe.Thankyouso
much.
Her
:(smi
led)youarewelcomebabe.Whenyouget
t
hereaskforTrevor
,tel
lhi
m youweresendbyme.

Me:ohwow,
thankyouagai
nAmanda.

Her:dontmenti
onitlove,t
heoppor t
unit
ywasf or
mebutihavet ogotoMpumal anga.Soithought
whynotgiveittoyou,becausewedi dthesame
course.

Me:ioweyoubi
gti
mebabe.

Her:i
tsokay,
that
swhatfri
endsar
efor
.Canipl
ease
usethebathr
oom pl
ease.

Me:yeahsur
e.

Idi
rect
edhert
owher
ethebat
hroom was,
asigot
tooexcit
edfortomorr
ow.Itwasabigdealforme,
andi di
dntwanttomessitup.Minut
eslat
ershe
camebackandhandedmeapapert hathadthe
address,andt
henameoft heper
sonishouldask
for
.Ithankedheroncemore,t
heniwalkedherout
.I
fi
nall
ycameback, andbeganwit
hsupper.

☆Khant
sho☆

Aft
ermyphonecal
lwithmywife,ical
ledRanger
andgavehi
mthepieceofmymi nd.Thenerveof
goi
ngtomyhouse,uni
nvi
ted.
I
twasnowt
imet
ogohome,
I
nser
t169

iwasreadytoleavemyoffi
cewhenisawRanger
walki
n.ijustst
oppedpacki
ngupandwalkedt
ohim.

Hi
m:woah,
lookmanir
eal
lydi
dntmeant
oscar
eof
f
yourwi
fe.

Me:whatwereyoudoi
ngi
nmyhousef
rom t
hef
ir
st
pl
ace,
itsnotl
ikewear
efr
iends.

Him:iknowst
eel
,butij
ustdi
scover
edsomet
hing
huge.

Me:pissoffman,youdontgett
ol eavet
hesquad
andgettorunaroundmyhouset ell
ingmywifethat
youweretheret
ocol l
ect
.Tocol
lectwhatexactl
y?,
Rangerareyoutest
ingme?

Him:St
eelcal
m downman,iwasj
ustjoki
ngabout
t
hecoll
ecti
onpart
.Ij
ustwant
edtoseeyou.Pl
ease
i
tsimport
ant.

Ishowedhi
mthechai
r,t
heniset
tl
edonmi
ne.
Him:itsSbu,it
hinkhewaswor ki
ngonsomething
secretl
y.Buthegobursted,
hisbodywasfoundin
hiscarnearMolotoroad.Hewasshoweredwit
h
bull
ets.

Iquickl
yst
oodupi
ndisbel
ief,
itcantbet
rue.Il
ast
sawSbuwhenitel
li
nghim aboutmynewlyfound
si
ster.

Me:sowhathaveyoudi
scover
ed?

Him:hoursbef
orehewaski
ll
ed,
hewasseeni
n
yourwif
e'scar
.

Me:what
?,not
her
emustbeami
stake.

Him:mysourcewasaccurat
eenoughtocatchthe
numberpl
ate.Andi
twassaidthathewasinthat
carcl
oset
oanhour.Ithi
nkyourwifecanl
eadust o
t
heki
ll
ers,
maybeknowssomet
hing.

Ijustcoul
dn'
tunderst
andwhywouldSbuhavea
secretmeeti
ngwithDint
le,
thendi
eonthatsame
day.Somethingwasnotmakingsense.

Me:what'sinitt
oyou?,imeanwhat'
swi
thyour
suddeninter
est?.Youdr
oppedt
hesquadwhenwe
mostneededyou, nowyouwanttopl
aythe
i
nvesti
gati
veof f
icer
?

Him:iwasst upidandithoughtihaditall
.butlif
e
humbledmeSt eel
,Everyoneithoughtgotme, were
onl
yaf t
ermymoney.Af terthehorr
ibl
edivorcei
wentthrough,everyonefinal
lyshowedmet heirtr
ue
col
ours.

Me:wel
lthat
'
sli
fehey.
Him:soihumbl
yaskt oworkf
oryouSt
eel,
justl
ike
thegoodol
ddays.Icoul
dreal
lydowi
thsome
capi
tal
,
I
nser
t170

thatwomantookever
ythi
ngf
rom meandt
urnedmy
chil
drenagai
nstme.

Me:whatmakesyouthinkicoul
dtr
ustyouagain?
,i
meanyoujustdr
oppedus.Howdoiknowt hatyou
woul
dn'
tdropmet oo?

Him:yougotmyl
oyal
tyandiwi
llgoal
lwaysf
or
youSteel
.

Me:youusedthatcodeonmyuncl
e,butst
il
l
di
sappoi
ntedhim.

Hi
m:iwi
llr
unent
ir
elydi
ff
erent
,andser
vewi
thmy
blood.Myloyal
tywontbequest
ioned,
foriwi
llbe
yoursoldi
er.

Me:iwi
llt
hinkabouti
t.Nowineedt
ogethome.

Hi
m:t
hankyousomuch.

Hefinal
lymadehiswayout,andicont
inuedtopack
up.Theniwalkedout
,goti
nmycaranddr oveof
f.
20mi nutesl ateriarr
ivedhome, iparkedmycarand
tookmyt hings.Theniwenti nsi
de, iwaswelcomed
bythisgr eatar oma.Andiknewt hatmywi f
ewoul d
beintheKi tchen,shesmiledwhenshesawme.I
walkedt oherandwebr i
eflyki
ssed.Thenitookher
hand,leadinghert ot
hechai r
.Aswebot hsett
led
down, facingeachot her.

Her
:youl
ookt
roubl
ed,
what
swr
ong?
Me:Sbuwasf
ounddeadnearMol
otor
oad.

Shequi cklymovedoffthechai
rindi
sbel
ief
,wi
th
tear
sf all
ingoffherf
ace.Iqui
ckl
ystoodupandhel
d
herfacewi thbothmyhands.

Me:babyi
tsokay,
justt
ellmewhatyouknow.He
wasseeni
nyourcarhoursbef
orehewaskill
ed.

Her:
( bet
weenhertears)it
syourmother,hewas
workingonhelpingmeexposeyourmom.Af ter
tal
kingtoyouhedi dntbuythatsi
bli
ngsaga,andhe
knewt hatyourmotherwasbehindthefaketest
s.

Me:what
?,butwhycoul
dn'
thet
rustmeenought
o
t
ellmeal
lthat
?

Her:wel
lyoual
waysrantoyourmot
herwit
hevery
l
it
tl
einfoyougot
,butidon'
tbl
ameyouanymore.
Shesur
elyhadyouunderaspel
l.

Me:iam r
eal
lysor
rymylove,iam sorrythatyou
hadtobehel
pedbyotherpeopleotherthanme.I
am sor
ryt
hatiwasbl
indandicouldn'tprotectyou.

Her:
(smi
led)i
tsalli
nthepastbaby.Butithi
nkwe
oweSbu'
sf amil
ybaby,imeanhegotki l
ledtr
yingt
o
hel
pme.
I
nser
t171

Me:iwil
lsor
titoutmyl
ove,nowlet
ssi
tdownand
youcantel
lmeaboutyourday.

Shesmi ledaswewal kedtot hel

oungethist
ime,we
sett
leddownasit ookherf eetonmylap.Shewas
exci
tedlytel
li
ngmeaboutt hej obopport
unit
yin
j
obur g.Iwashappythatshewant edtodo
somet hi
ngforhersel
f,al
thoughididntseeaneed
becauseherwi f
elyal
lowancewasmor ethan
enoughandipayedforever
ythi
ngaroundthe
house.Butidi
dntwanttocomeoutas
unsupport
ive,
soibackedherupinever
ythi
ngshe
choosetodo.

Oncewewer edonewi t
hourbondi
ngsession,we
walkedtor
efr
esht oget
heri
ntheshower.Atl
east
wit
honesteamyr ound,whenweweredoneweonl y
woreourgownsandwal kedtot
hekit
chentohave
supper.
Whenwewer
edoneeat
ing,
wewentst
rai
ghtt
obed.

Thenextmor ni
ngiwokeupal onebecause
Khant showasof f
,hesaidhewant edtosor tout
thatSbusaga.Iwentst r
aightt oshower ,
leaving
himi nbed.Buthewasawake, andbusywi thhis
l
apt op.Ihadaquickonebecausei twasal readyto
7,wheniwasdoneiwor emywhi teformalbodysuit,
blackpencilski
rtandit
smat chi ngblazer
.Theni
wor emybl ackpenci
lheels,f
ixedmyf aceand
weave.Thenit ookmybag, myhusbandl i
terall
y
cl
appedf
orme.

Hi
m:babythatj
obisyours,
imeanwhowoul
dn'
t
hi
reabeaut
if
uldol
lli
keyou.

Ibust
edoutwithl
aughter
,asiki
ssedhim andtook
hi
scarkeys.Iwantedt
odrive"
dontmesswi t
hme"
Benzit
self
.Ifi
nal
lymademywayout ,
goti nt
hecar
anddroveoff
.AsimademyGPSusef ul.
Whil
eont hewaymyphonerang,andi
twasmy
f
ather
.lucki
lyi
twasconnect
edtotheBl
uet
oot
h.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:morni
ngdad,iam dr
ivi
ngt
othi
sjobi
njobur
g.
Canical
lyouwhenicomeback?

Hi
m:ohok,
pleasedontf
orget
.
Me:iwont
,byef
ornow.

Ihung,
andf
ocussedont
heway.
Ihourand30minut
esiarri
vedatthatbui
ldi
ng,
i
parkedmycar,
andtookmybag.Thenimademy
wayi n,
iwal
kedtot
herecepti
oni
st.
I
nser
t172

andtol
dheriwasheret oseeTrevor
.Sheaskedme
tot
akeaseatonthecouches, si
nceTrevorwasst
il
l
i
nameet i
ng.Iwentsit
,whilegoi
ngthroughthe
magazi
nesifoundthere.
Anhourlatertherecepti
onistcall
edmeupand
dir
ectedmet oTrevor'soff
ice.Iusedtheelevat
or
andgottot hesecondf l
oor,t
henir eachedthe
off
iceandknocked.Thenwal kedinaf t
eriwastol
d
tocomei n.Hestoodupaswemadet hehand
shake,t
henhesi gnaledmet osit.

Hi
m:howcanihel
pyouma'
am?
Me:ohyes, mynamei sDintl
eMoeket
si.Iherefor
thejobpositi
onofeventmanagement
,iwas
actual
lyref
erredherebyAmandaNkosi.Iheardit
wasact ual
lyheropport
uni
ty.

Him:iam verysor
ryma'am iam lostandidont
knowaper sonbythatname.Plusthisisalogi
sti
c
company,wear enotl
ooki
ngf oranyeventmanager.
Iam r
eall
ysor r
y.

Me:noiam sor
ryforwasti
ngyourt i
mesir,
surel
y
t
herewasami sunder
standing.Thankyouforyour
t
ime.

Isai
dmygoodbyesandleft
.Icoul
dn'
tunder
stand
whyAmandawouldli
etomel i
kethat
,gotoallt
he
tr
oublej
ustt
omakesureiendeduphere.
Somethi
ngwasdefi
nit
elyup.
Imademywayout
,st
rai
ghtt
omycar
.Thenical
led
Amanda,buti
ttookmestrai
ghtt
ovoicemail
.I
fi
nal
lyr
emember edt
hatihadtocal
lmyf at
her.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:f
inal
ly,
howdi
ditgo?

Me:itwasascam dad,ijustdontunder
standwhy
shewentthroughal
lthattr
oubletosendmehere
fornot
hing.

Him:iwantyoutolist
ent
omever ycareful
ly.Never
everf
orgetyourvows.St
ickbyyourhusband.

Me:dadwhatyout
alki
ngabout
?

Hi
m:ihavebeenweakfordaysnow,
iaskedyour
br
othernott
owor
ryyou.
Okayhequi
ckl
ychangedthet
opi
c,andiwasnot
goi
ngtofor
cei
toutonhim.

Me:butdadhowcanyoudot
hat
,icoul
dhavecame
r
ightaway.

Him:iknewyouwouldwanttodothat
,iwil
lbef i
ne
baby.Yourbr
otheri
staki
ngcar
eofme, youjustgot
marri
ed.Youcantal
waysupandleaveanyti
meyou
want.
I
nser
t173

Me:butkeepi
ngmeinthedarki
snotasol
uti
ondad.
pr
omisetocallmeal
ways,andkeepmeupdat
ed.

Hi
m:(
laughed)ipr
omi
se.
Thenwehung, iwasf eeli
ngwor set hanbefor
e.Iam
suremyf at
herwasjustsayi ngallthattoeaseme.
Lif
ehasawayofpul l
ingyoudown, evenwhenyou
thi
nkyouhavef i
nal
lypi ckedup.Ist art
edthecar
anddroveoff,ar
idehomef eltl
ikethewor stt
hingt
o
do.Iwassuddenlyfeelingsi ck,li
keicouldthrowup.
Butiquickl
yremember edt hatihaven' teat
en
anythi
ngsincemorning.
IdrovepastMcDonal
ds,
andboughtchickenf
old
overmeal.Iat
ewhil
edri
ving,
unt
ilif
ini
shed.
1hourl
ateriar r
ivedhome, parkedthecarand
wal
kedinside.Whenigoti nifoundKhant shoonly
i
nhisbri
efs,clearingthehouse.Hewasunset t
led,
hequi
cklycover edhisfacewithasmi l
ewhenhe
sawme.Somet hingwasdef i
nitel
yupwithhim.

Hi
m:ohbabe,
thatwasqui
ck.

Me:oh,
iwasmeantt
otakel
onger
?
Hewal
kedupt
ome,
andhel
dmyf
ace.

Hi
m:of
causenotmyl
ove,
whatgotyousoupset
?

Me:iam f
ine,
youl
ookedgy.What
sgoi
ng?

Him:who?,
me?.Nobabe,iam f
ine.Al
thoughiam
sensi
ngbadvi
besfr
om you.

Me:wel
litl
ooksli
ket
her
ewasnoj
obi
njobur
g,and
mydadissick.

Hi
m:ohiam reall
ysor
rybaby,
youl
ookabi
tpal
e.I
t
hinkyouneedtoli
edown.

Ij
ustnoddedasweheadedupst ai
rstoourbedroom.
Theroom hadal
otofr
oom sprayairref
resher
,it
wastoomucht ot
akein.Ievensuggestedtosl
eep
i
nt heguestr oom.Khant showasst il
ledgy,buti
decidedt olethim be.Ihadal ottowor r
yabout,
especiallythestuntthatwaspul l
edbyAmanda.
Khantshocover edmybodywi t
habl anket
,then
walkedout .Ijustkeptongoi ngoverandoverwhat
Amandadi d,tryi
ngt ogetanswer s.Ithi
nkislept
overthinkinglikethat,unti
liwaswakenbymy
phoner inging.Islowlysatup, andsearchmybag
si
ncei twasonmybedsi de.Andi twasmybr other
.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:baby,
iknowyouspoket
odad.
I
nser
t174

Hemademepr
omi
senott
otel
l.

Me:howbadi
she?

Hi
m:hei
sjustbei
nghi
sol
dsel
f,hi
shi
ghbl
oodwas
abi
thi
gherf
ewdaysago.Buthei
sbet
ternow.

Me:iam gl
ad,
pleasedontkeepmei
nthedar
k.

Hi
m:youdontsoundokay,
what
swr
ong?

Me:iam j
ustnotfeel
ingokay,
plusihadahor
ri
ble
morni
ng.Butidontwanttotal
kaboutit
.

Hi
m:cal
lmewhenyouar
ereadyt
alk,
okay?

Me:wi
lldobr
o,t
hanksf
ort
hecal
l.

Wef inal
lyhungup,andicouldn'
tsleepanymor e.I
movedoutoft hebed,andwentt owashmyf ace.
Thenidecidedtogodownst air
s,butiwas
welcomedbyvoi cesargui
ng.Whenif i
nall
ygoti n
thelounge,iwasmetbyKhant shoandMi a.Aw
bat
hong,
Miaagai
n.

Khant
shoquicklywalkedt
omewhenhesawme, i
wasreal
lynotfeel
ingwell
.Andiwasst
art
ingt
o
havethi
sbadheadache.

Hi
m:babyshewasj
ustl
eavi
ng.

Me:
(cal
mly)whati
sshedoi
ngher
eKhant
sho?

Mia:icametof
etchmypur
se,
ilef
titwheniwas
hereinthemor
ning.

Heh,lonathi
sMi agirlwasstil
lonhertendenci
esof
pl
ayinggamesi nourl i
ves.AndKhantshowas
al
lowingher,hedidntevenment i
onittomet hatshe
washer eear
lier
.Itseemedl i
keiwastheonlyfool
ar
oundher e.
Hi
m:youcanl
eavenowMi
a.

Mi
a:(
smi
led)of
cause.

Shet
ookherpur
sef
rom t
hecouchandl
eft
.
It
urnedandl
ookatt
hisoneiwasl
eftwi
th.

Me:car
etoexpl
ainyour
sel
f?

Him:ididntknowshewasintown,unt
ilt
his
morning.Shecameunexpect
edly,
iwasgoi ngtotel
l
you.Iswearshewasonlyher
et oconf
irm aboutmy
mother'
sdeath.

Me:ihopeso,
foryoursake.

Ii
mmediatel
yranupst
airs,
sinceifeltl
iket
hrowi
ng
up.Whenigottot
hetoi
letseat,
ithrewoutthat
mealihad.Iwasj
ustf
eel
ingweakerbysecond,
somehowihadananswertoever
ythi
ngthatwas
happeni
ngtome.
Af
tervomit
ingiwashedmymont
h,andhewas
st
andingnextt
ome.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)
youknowwhati
tmi
ghtmeanr
ight
?

Me:yeah,
butiam noti
nthemoodt
otal
kabouti
t
I
nser
t175

Hi
m:babyiswearidi
dntknowshewasi
ntown.

Me:youkeepal
lowi
ngheri nourli
vesKhant
sho,
thi
siswhyshewil
lneverrespectme.Shewil
l
alwaysseemeasthi
slit
tl
egi r
lwhocanthandl
eyou.

Hi
m:myl
oveiwi
llsor
titout
.
Me:soyoukeepsaying,di
dyouevengot
oSbu'
s
f
amilyl
ikewediscussed?

Him:uhm.
..
no.babyyouseeshear
ri
vedbef
orei
coul
d.

Me:makeupyourmi ndKhantsho,
iwontkeepon
f
ighti
ngformyspotinyourl
if
e.Imeaniam your
wif
eforgoodnesssake.

Hequi
ckl
ywal
kedt
omeandhel
dmei
nhi
sar
ms.

Him:ipromisetodobet t
erf
rom nowonbaby,iam
reall
ysorr
yforall
owingherinourhome.I
twill
neverhappenagain.Letmerushofft
oSbu'shouse,
iwi l
lcomebackbeforesupper
.Anddontcook,iwi
ll
bringthet
akeaways.Justgetinbedandrest
.
Isilentl
ypul l
edoutofhi sar ms, andundr essed.
Thenigoti nbedwi t
honl ymyunder wear ,iwasjust
ti
red.Ihadnoener gytodoanyt hi
ng,iwassoweak.
Iwat chedhi m dressup, thenhecamecl oserand
kissedmyf orehead.Thenhet ookt hecarkeys, and
l
ef t
.Iwassohur t,if
eltl
ikehel ovedMi aandhe
coul dn'
tlethergo.Wasif or
war dtothi
nkt hati
coul dhandlet hemar ri
agel i
feattheageof21? ,i
meaniam onl yturni
ng22t hi
syear .Wasif ool
edby
thej our
neywewentt hrought ogether?
, andt hought
maybewecoul dovercomeanyst orm? .Iwasi nto
deep, andif el
tlikecouldn'tgetout.
Iwasi nt
eruptedf
rom myt
hought
sbymyphone
ri
nging,anditwasmysmartmonth.Howimi
ssher
atti
mesl i
kethese.
*
phonecal
l*

Her
:sosinceyoubecamesomeone'
swi
fe,
ino
l
ongerexi
stinyourl
if
e?

Me:iam sor
rybabe,
ihavebeendeal
ingwi
thal
ot
l
atel
y.Tryi
ngsohardt
ofi
ndaj
ob,
anddealwi
thmy
worstdeci
sions.

Her:woahslowdownbaby,what
swr
ong?
.Ir
eal
ly
dontli
keheari
ngyoul
iket
his.

Me:Neil
weiam exhaust
ed,
ithi
nkiam bei
ng
at
tackedatal
langl
es.If
eel
li
keirushedi
ntot
his
marri
agethi
ng,
I
nser
t176

ishouldhavef ocusedonbuil
dingmyl if
e.Li
keall
myagegr oup,
imeanl ookatyou.Youar est
ress
free,
li
vingoffyouryouthdaysfreely.Iam st
uckin
amar ri
age,wit
hamanwhost i
llal
lowshi sex'
sor
fuckbuddiesinourhomei nmyabsence.Who
knowswhatel setheygetuptoNei lwe?,ihavetr
ied
towomanupandbet hewifehedeser ves.Butit
s
l
ikeallofthatmeansnot hi
ng.
Her:youknow? ,youhaveever yri
ghttofeelt
hat
waymyf riend.Khant shoneedst odrawupal ine,
hisexsmustr espectyout hroughhi m.Tal
ktohi m
l
ikeyouj ustdi dwi thmer i
ghtnow, youguysarei na
mar r
iagenow.Thi ngsneedt ochange, youcant
keeponf ight i
ngaboutt hethingsyouusedt ofight
aboutwhenyouwer estil
ldati
ngnj e.
Communi cationshoul dbethef i
rstkeyinyour
mar r
iagemyl ove, andl ear
ntot r
usthim.Youvowed
tolovehimf orther estofyourdays, remember ?

Me:howol
dar
eyouagai
n?

Her:
(l
aughed)i t
sgoingt obeokaymyl ove,just
keeponsl ayi
ngl i
keyoualwaysdi d.Dontevent ryt
o
l
ooklikeyourpr obl
ems, beunrecognizable.They
shoul
dr espectyouinyourabsencebaby, make
Khantshowonderwhoyouar edressingupf or.
Keephim onhi stoes,iswearhewi l
lknowexact ly
whohemar ri
edt o.
Me:
(l
aughed)il
oveyousomuch.

Her
:(
laughed)il
oveyoumor
ethanyourhusband.
Soai
ntwepr egnantyet
?

Me:(
bust
edoutwithl
aught
er)ar
eyousomeki
ndof
aseert
hisdays?

Her:
(scr
eaming)yohiguessiam hey,
ohbabyi
cantwaitt
oseelit
tl
eDint
leorli
tt
leKhant
sho.

Me:(
laughed)iam notsur
eyetl
ove,
butt
hesi
gns
ar
ethere.

Her:wellyouarepr egnantDee,
andineedyout o
takecar
eofyour self.Thi
nkaboutthebabybefor
e
youreacttoanything,wewantt ohol
dthatbaby.
Promisemepl ease.
Me:ipr
omi
sebabe,
thankyouf
orbei
ngmi
ne.

Her
:wel
lyouneedt
othankmealot,
imeanmany
t
ri
edbef
ri
endi
ngmebutfail
ed.Soyah!

Icoul
dn'thel
pbutbustoutwit
hlaught
er,
asihung
up.JustthenisawKhantshowalki
n,
I
nser
t177

okaythatwasquickert
hanexpected.Hecameand
sett
lednexttome.Hesmell
edlikebraaimeat
,andi
wantedital
ready.

Hi
m:ihavef
ail
edyou,
haven'
ti?

Me:whatar
eyout
alki
ng?

Hi
m:ihaven'
tmadeyoul
aughl
iket
hati
nawhi
le,
i
misshear
ingyoulaughl
ikethatandknowi
ngt
hati
am t
hereasonbehindal
lthat
.

Me:wel
l.
..

Him:babyiam sosor
ry,
youwil
lneverseeMi aor
anyotherwomanfort
hatmat
ter.If
ixedital
l,
iam
onl
yyours.

Me:pr
omi
se?

Hi
m:ipr
omi
sebaby.

Mynipplessol
dmeout,t
heybecamehar dinstantl
y.
Hesmi r
kedashewentstr
aightt
othosenipples,a
sof
tmoanescapedmyl i
ps.Hemovedf r
om them
andlookedatme.
Him:il
oveyousomuchMr
sMoeket
si,
dontever
doubtt
hat.

Me:il
oveyoumor
eMrMoeket
si.

Itookitasachancet ogentlypushhim backont he

bed.Hesmi ledasi hel
pedhim offhi
sclothes,ionl
y
removedmyunder wearsinceitwastheonlythingi
waswear ing.Thenclimbedont opofhim,iwentup
onhi m asourtonguesdancedasone.Imoved
from hisl
ipstohisneck,andhiserect
iongrew
l
ar gerandharder.
Iusedmyhandt osliphimi nsideme, onceihad
him deepinside,
ibegant odowhatiwast aughtby
him.Ibeganasl owr ot
ationofmyhi ps, asiwentall
COCONUTonhi m.Thef actthathedi dntknowwhat
todowi thhimself
,imademer eal
iset hatiwas
actuall
ydoingitri
ght.Whenif i
nall
yincr easedmy
movement s,yohifeltmysel fcum count l
essl
y.
Whi l
ehekeptongr oaningloudl y,
itwast he
str
ongestsensation.Somet hingthatwentbeyond
anysexposi
ti
on.Iwasi ncontr
ol,andilovedhowi
wasmakinghim cr
y.Whenif el
thisbodyt enseupi
knewhewasclose, iwental
lwidelyonhisshaftl
ike
amadwoman.Hel etoutthi
sdeepgr oan,ashe
empti
edhimsel
finsideme.

Hequicklyt
urnedmearound,andposi
ti
oned
himsel
fonmycookieentranceandent
eredme
swif
tl
y.Hebeganmovinginandoutofmeslowly,
i
coul
dn'thel
pbutmoanashewentf ast
er.
I
nser
t178

Hebeganmovi ngi nandoutofmesl owl y,icouldn't

helpbutmoanashewentf aster
.Hepi ckedhis
paceandwenthar derandfaster
.Hewashi tti
ngi t
thewayiknowhewoul d,
hitt
ingeverycor nerofmy
cookie.Hewentmor ehar
derandf aster,icouldn'
t
helpbutscream outhisname.Hepul ledoutand
tur
nedmear ound,asheslammedi nt
omef r
om
behind.Thepleasurewast oomuchf orme, t
he
connectionbetweenoursoul swasget ti
ngt i
ght.He
conti
nuedfucki
ngmehar der
,unt
ilwebothcouldn'
t
holdbackanymore.Hedeepenedhisonelast
str
okeandwewer ereadytoexpl
odeaswecameat
once.

Hefinal l
yslippedoutofme, andpickedmeup
bri
dal styl
easwegott otheshower .Wehadt hi
s
i
nnocentshower ,whil
ekissinghereandthere.
Whenwewer edonewedr iedandloti
onedour
bodies.Thenwewor eourgowns, andwent
downst airsasthebeefbraaimeatandsausageshe
bought .Whi l
ewewer eeatingmyphonebeeped,
i
ndicatingt hatihadatext.Iopenedthetext
.

"Hewillkeeponl yi
ngt oyouli
ttl
egir
l,youcantgi
ve
i
ttohiml ikeido.Itoldyoutoleavehimforthe
matured.Thi smorningigaveittohi
mj usttheway
heli
kesi t
, checkunderyourmainbedf ort
heprove"

If
eltl
iket
hrowi
ngupsametime,myeyeswere
al
readyshi
ny.Hest
oppedeat
ingandl
ookedatme.
Hi
m:what
'swr
ongbaby?

Me:soyoufuckedheri
nourhome?
,onourbed?
.
Ser
iousl
yKhantsho?

Hi
m:babywhatar
eyout
alki
ng?

Ij
ustranupstai
rswithhi
mf oll
owingme, igotint
he
bedroom andkneel
edtocheckundert hebed.I
fi
nall
ypickeduptheevi
dence,whichwasar edg-
str
ingandausedcondom.Ij ustt
ossedthem ont he
bedandt r
iedt
owalkoutbuthequi ckl
yheldmyar m.

Him:myl oveidi
dntdoit
,shepl
ant
edthi
st hi
ngsin
here.Ithi
nkit
sthatt
imewhensheaskedforthe
bathroom.

Me:Khant
shol
etssayyoudi
dntdoanyt
hingne,
but
doyouthinkiam saf
einmyownhome? .Yourexs
haveaccessinourbedr
oom,whati
fshetookoneof
myunderwears?.
I
nser
t179

Youareseri
ouslypissi
ngmeoffri
ghtnow,icant
evenlookatyou.Youarenotr
eadytobeinthi
s
marri
age,Peri
od!.

Iyankedmyar m of
fhi m,andrant ot
heguestr oom.
Iwassohur t
,iwasf i
ndingithardtobreath.Iranto
thebat hroom togetsomewat er,
asendlesst ears
felloffmyf ace.Isowant edtobeoutoft his
mar r
iage,not
hinggoodwascomi ngoutofit.It
s
onl ybeenamont hsincewegotmar r
ied,butitsli
ke
imadet hewor stmistakeofmyl i
fe.Maybeiwas
justf or
war dandchildishtoagreetobemar riedat
theageof21.
Iwokeupt henextmorningwit
hthemotherof
headaches.It
ri
edtositup,butmyheadwastoo
heavy.Icoul
dfeelt
hattherewassomeoneinthe
room,ifi
nall
ysatupandhewassi t
ti
ngont he
couchlooki
ngatme.Hewasdr essedupf orwor
k,i
j
ustignoredhim andt
riedt
omoveoutofbedbuti t
wastoomuchhassl e.Soijustr
emai nedonthebed.

Him:goodmor
ning,
imadeyoubr
eakf
asti
sint
he
oven.

Me:mmh.

Hi
m:babyi
..
.

Me:j
ustgot
owor
kKhant
sho,
iam r
eal
lynoti
nthe
mood.

Hi
m:cal
lmei
fyouneedanyt
hing.

Me:mmh.
Hesi ght ed,thenwal kedoutt her oom.Iwas
ser iousl ynotint hemood, thef airytal
edr eam ihad
wasbecomi ngmywor stni
ght mar e.Thef actt
hati
hadnot hingundermyname, scar edmemor e.I
fi
nal l
ymovedoutofbed, andwentst rai
ghtt o
shower .Wheniwasdone, ijustwr appedmybody
withat owelandwal kedt oourmai nbedr oom.
Whenigoti nther oom ii mmedi atelyhad
goosebumps, justthet houghtofMi abeingi nthis
room wasr eallyunset tli
ng.If i
nallywal kedt othe
closetandpi ckedmycl ot
hes.Il ot i
onedmybody,
thenwor emymaxi f
loraldresswi thmat ching
sandal s.Ifixedmyf aceandweave, t
henit ookmy
carkeysandpur se.Asiwal keddownst airstot he
kitchen, iwentst rai
ghtt otheovenandf ounda
plat eofengl i
shbr eakfast.Ijustpour edmysel fan
appl ej uice,theniwentt oset tl
edownasibegant o
eat .Onceiwasdone, itookmyt hi ngsandwal ked
out .
I
nser
t180
Ilockedthehouse,
thengoti
nmycarasidr
oveof
f
toTsholo'sf
lat
.
15mi nut
eslat
eriarri
ved,iparkedmycar.Then
mademywayi n,ir
eachedherdoorandknocked.
Minutesl
aterTshol
oappeared, shei
mmediatel
y
att
ackedmewi thahug.Thenshel edmetoher
couches,aswesettl
eddownf acingeachot
her.

Her:babe,
iwenttoDecemberholi
dayswheni
comebackiheart hatyouaret
hedoct
or'
swif
e.
Wowcongr at
ulat
ionslove.

Me:uhm.
..t
hankyou.Wher
ecanif
indAmanda?

Her
:Dint
lewoah,what
'swi
ththesuddencol
dness
t
owardsme.Dididosomethi
ngwrong?

Me:no,i
tsnotyou.Ij
ustwantanswer
sandiknow
youaret
heclosestper
sontoAmanda.Sowhere
canif
indher?
Her:oh, wellIdontknowanythi
ngabouther
wher eabouts.Lastti
mewespokeshesai d
somet hingaboutf i
ndi
ngablessert
hatwasgoi
ngto
changeherl i
fefor
ever.Shemovedoutofmyfl
at
l
astyear ,beforeicoul
dgohome.Ineversawher
again.

Me:heh,thatgi
rlcamet omyhomeandl edmeto
thi
sfakejobinjoburg.Ist
il
ldontunderst
andwhy
shehadtodot hat,whenicallheri
ttakesme
str
aightt
ovoicemail.

Her
:what
?,wai
tDee.Letmecal
lher
.

Tshol
ocall
edher,butitst
il
lwentt ovoicemail
.
Amandawasser i
ouslyinami ssion,ij
ustwondered
whatshewasupt oexactl
y.Ifinall
ysaidmy
goodbyestoTshol
o,anddr oveoff.Iwasntsure
wheretogo,iwasjustdri
vingaround.Untili
reachedbur gerspar k,iparkedmycarandwentt o
chillonthelawn.Igotl osti
nthoughtswhi l
e
wat chi
ngpeopl egoingupanddown.Wheniagr eed
tomar ryKhant sho,ithoughtihadf i
nall
yreached
wher eihavebeendr eami ngtogo.Imeanif inally
foundmyf amily,sobei ngKhantsho'swifewas
supposet obeacher r
yoncake.Ri ght?
,Wel latleast
thatswhatit hought.butiguessiwast ooqui ckto
celebrat
e.
2hoursl
aterifi
nall
ymovedf rom thelawn,goti
n
mycaranddeci dedtovi
sitadoctor.Justt
o
conf
ir
mthesi gns.
20mi
nut
esl
ateriar
ri
ved,
I
nser
t181

lucki
lytherewasntmuchofaqueue.Onl y2people
befor
eme, whil
eiwaswaiti
ngideci dedtotextmy
smartmout honWhat sApp.Butitwasonlyonet i
ck,
soiloggedout .45minut
eslateritwasfi
nallymy
tur
n,greetedthedoct
orandt oldhim whatihave
beengoingt hr
ough.Hedidwhatt heyusuallydo,
whichistesti
ngmyur ine.Oncehewasdone, he
confir
medt hatiwast hreeweekspr egnant.Ididnt
wantt odothescanwi thoutKhant
sho, soiwas
givenmynextdat eofvi sit
ati
onandmyvi t
ami ns
andsupplement s.Ithankedhim, t
henwentt opay
attherecepti
on.Ifinall
ygotinmycaranddr ove
home.
20minut
eslat
eriar
rivedathome,
af t
erparki
ngt
he
carmyphoneranganditwasmybr other
.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:heybaby,
howar
eyouf
eel
ingt
oday?

Me:l
ikeapr
egnantwoman.

Hi
m:(l
aughed)what
?,sohef
inal
lyscor
ed?

Me:
(l
aughed)ser
iousl
ybr
o?
Hi
m: (
laughed)wel
lcongr
atul
ati
onsbaby.Soyour
f
atherwantsmet obri
nghimthatsi
detomorr
ow.

Me:what
?,yespl
ease.Pl
easebr
o,icoul
ddowi
th
somecompanythi
sside.

Hi
m:aw,
youwontevenaskyourhusbandf
ir
st?

Me:no,
andiam sur
ehewontmi
nd.

Him:(
laughed)okaythen,
iguesswewillseeyou
tomorrowthen.Justmakesureyout
ellyour
husbandtonight
.

Me:of
cause,
icantwai
t.

Wefinal
lyhungup,andiwasmor
ethanhappy.I
j
ustcoul
dn'twai
ttospendsomet
imewit
hmy
fat
her ,ifinall
yt ookmyt hi
ngsandwenti nside.I
wentst raightt otheki t
chent ochecki fwehad
everything, becauseiwant edt ocookaf east
tomor row.Onceiwassat isfi
edwi t
hwhatwehad, i
ranupst ai r
stor efresh.Wheniwasdone, ijustwore
myshor tandvestwi t
hmymor ningshoes.Theni
mademywayt ot hekitchent ostartondi nner,iwas
suddenl yi nabet termood.Knowi ngt hatiwoul d
seemyf ami l
ytomor r
ow, broughtthebi ggestjoyin
myhear t.Imadebeefst ewandpap, thenadded
someveget ablesont hesi de.Wheniwasdone, i
pouredmysel fappl ej
uiceandwentt oconnecta
movi e.
I
nser
t182

Si
nceitwasal
ready5pm,
iknewt
hatKhant
showas
ontheway.
Anhourlat
erKhantshowasst i
llnothome, yohmy
mindwasalreadyrunningwil
d.Especiall
ysincei
knowthatMiawasi ntown,ipi
ckedupmyphone
andtr
iedtodialhi
m butitt
ookmest raightto
voicemai
l.Aishamethatdr
ovemenuts,
iwas
alr
eadyonmyf eetmovi
ngupanddown.
Ar
ound8pm,
ther
ewasaknockont
hedoor
.
Iqui
ckl
yjumpedtocheckmaybeitwashim,maybe
hewashij
ackedorsomethi
ngandlosthi
skeys.
Wheniopenedt
hedooriwasmetbyt
hatscar
ytal
l
guy,
Ranger.

Me:hey,
Khant
shoi
snothome.

Him:ohiknowma'
am,
iam act
ual
lyher
etoseeyou.
Canicomein?

Me:act
ual
lyno,
saywhat
everyouwantr
ighther
e.

Him:oh, okay.Stee..
.imeanKhant
showasar
rest
ed
earl
ierathispractice.
Okayt
hatgr
abbedal
lmyat
tent
ion,
igotdi
zzysame
t
ime.

Me:what
?,f
orwhat
?

Him:uhm..
.iam surei
twasami sunder
standi
ng.I
al
readycal
ledhislawyer
,itshouldbesortedout
soon.

Me:j
ustanswermyquest
ion.

Hi
m:uhm.
..
att
empt
edr
ape.

Yohmyheadwasspi nning,icoul
dseet hatiwas
goingtof
all
.Soiimmedi atelymademywayt othe
couchandsettl
eddown.Whenil ookedup, t
hatguy
handedmeagl assofwat er.Ij
ustsippedonthat
water,
andplacedtheglassont hetable.
Him:iwastoldaboutyourcondi
ti
onma' am,please
tel
lmeifther
e'sanypainyouarefeel
ing.Sothati
canrushyoutothehospital
.

Me:iwantt
oseehi
m.

Him:noi
tsl
atema'am,wecanonlyattendhi
sbail
hear
ingt
omorrowmorning.Iwi
llf
etchyouat9am,
pl
easecomelockt
hedoor .

Iwasnumb, islowlywentaf terhim andl ockedthe

dooroncehewasout .Sur elymymar riagewas
cursed,ijustcouldn'
tstopmyt earsfrom fall
ing.I
washungr y,butiknewt haticoul dnteat .Why
wouldKhant shot rytoforcehi mselfonsomeone? ,i
j
ustpr ayedthattheladywasntMi a.Ipr ayedthatall
ofthiswasj ustami sunder standing.
I
nser
t183

If
inal
lymademywayupst
air
sandgoti
nour
bedr
oom.Nowiwasdefeatedandti
red.Ikneel
ed
downonmykneestr
yingtopray,
butnothingcame
outf
rom mymout
h.
Endlesstearsj
ustfel
loffmyface,thi
ngswer e
get
tingharderandharderforme.Ijustcouldn'
t
understandwhymyl i
fewasget t
ingthismessedup.
Isl
owl ygotupagainandwenttot hebathroom t
o
washmyf ace,
theniwentbacktobed.
Ijustconnectedmyheadset sonmyphone, andgot
undert hecover
swi t
hmycl otheson.Asking50
centt ohel
pmesl eep,becausethenight
mar ewas
farfrom over
.

Li
stenl
il
'homi
e,wheni
trai
nsi
tpour
s
Hol
lowt
ipsandt
alonswheni
trai
nsi
tpour
s
Getcaughti
nleadshower
sjustbecause
Nai
n'tpl
ayi
n',
wheni
trai
nsi
tpour
s
Ngetsetup,
wheni
trai
nsi
tpour
s
Endupwetup,
that
'swheni
trai
nsi
tpour
s
I
tusual
ly,
goesdownovermoneyandwhor
es
Butl
il
'homi
einmyhood,
wheni
trai
nsi
tpour
s

Thenextmor ni
ngirantot hebat hr
oom asit hrew
out,icouldn'
tevenmovef r
om thet oi
letseat
becauseipukedunt ilif
eltpainonmyt hroat.When
ifi
nallystooduptowashmymout h,iknewi
couldn'tmakeittothebailhearing.Afterwashing
mymout h,ij
ustwentbackt obed.If eltsoweak,
andhungr ythanihaveeverf eltbefore.Butitwas
toomuchhassl et owalkdownst air
s.Justt henmy
phoner ang,anditwasunknownnumber .
*
phonecal
l*

Me:hel
lo.

Hi
m:heyi
tsRanger
,iam out
side.

Me:ohiam r
eal
lysor
ry,
iwontbeabl
etogowi
th
you.Iam r
eall
ysi
ck,
icantevenwal
kdownst
air
sat
themoment .

Hi
m:oh,
idontmi
ndt
aki
ngyout
othedoct
or.

Me:noi t
sfine,iam sur
eiwi
llbef
ineaf
tersome
hours.JustgoandmakesureKhantshocomes
backhome, please.

Him:okay,
butar
eyousur
ethatyouar
egoi
ngt
obe
f
ine?

Me:iam sur
e.

Wef
inal
lyhungup,
thenij
ustl
ayedi
nbed.
Anhourl
atericouldf
eelt
hatmyl argeintest
ines
wer
eabouttoeatmysmal li
ntest
ines.Iforced
mysel
fof
fbed, andmademywaydownst air
s.
I
nser
t184

Whenigoti ntheki
tchenij
ustwarmedup
yest
erday'
sdinner
,thenat
e.Oneplat
ewasnt
enough,ihadtogetanot
heroneandaglassof
appl
ejuice.
Wheniwasdone, ahadabi tofenergy.Ibegant o
clearupt hehouse, andpr eparet heguestbedr ooms
formyf atherandbr other.Lordknowst hatineeded
them mor ethananyt hingr i
ghtnow.Idi dntwantto
overt hinkaboutKhant sho'ssituati
onatt he
moment ,
becauseiwasgoi ngt oendupst ressi
ng.I
wasonhi ghhopesoft hewhol esi t
uationbeinga
bigmi sunder standi
ng.I ntimesl iketheseimi ss
Mavi s,butwehadt ol ethergobecauseshewas
broughther ebymymonst erinl aw.Soij ust
couldn'ttrustheranymor e,onceiwasdonecl eari
ng
upt hehouseibegant ocook.Ij ustmadesampand
beefst ew, plusvegetablesont hesi de.Icouldn't
cookt hef eastiplanned.
Wheniwasdonei
twasal
ready12pm,
soir
an
upst
air
stoshower .Onceiwasdone, idr
iedand
l
oti
onedmybody.Theniwor emykneel ength
deminjumpsuitwit
hmymor ni
ngshoessi nceiwas
notpl
anningongoi nganywhere.If
ixedmyf ace
andweave,justt
henmyphoner anganditwast hat
morni
ngnumber .Soiknewi twasRanger .
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:uhm.
..
heyma'
am,
howar
eyouf
eel
ingnow?

Me:muchbet
ter
,howdi
ditgo?
,ishecomi
nghome?

Hi
m:uhm...wel
l.t
het
hingi
shewasdeni
edbai
l,
and
hi
str
ialwi
llbei
n3weekstime.

Me:what?
,butwhy?
.Ist
her
esomet
hingyouar
enot
t
ell
ing?

Hi
m:uhm.
..
canicomef
etchyou?
,becausehe
want
stoseeyou.

Me:yeahi
tsf
ine.

Ihung,
thendi
aledmybr
other
.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:br
o,howf
aryou?

Dad:wel
lyourbr
otheri
sdr
ivi
ngbaby,
andwej
ust
l
eftGi
yani
.

Me:eishdaddyihaveacr
isi
s,Khant
showas
arr
estedl
astnight
.Andhewasdeniedbai
lhour
s
ago,soihavetogoseehi
m now.

Dad:noi
tsokaybabyyoucango,
wear
est
il
lfar
.
Me:okay.

Ihungup,t
henchangedmymor ni
ngshoest
omy
ni
kesneakers.Thenitookmysidebag,
andheaded
downst
air
s.AsiwaitforRanger
I
nser
t185

30mi
nut
esl
aterhecal
led,
sayi
nghewasout
side.
Iquickl
ywal kedout,
andlockedthehouse.Wheni
reachedthedr i
veway,hewasact uall
ydriving
Khantsho'scar.Igoti
nthebackseat,greetedhim
thenhedr ovetoKgosiMampur uPrison,Since
Khantshowasal r
eadytr
ansfer
redthere.
30mi nut eslat
erwear ri
ved,andwal kedin.Wewer e
searched, theniwasledt othevisi
tingar ea.Atl
east
i
twasapr ivat
eone,ifoundhim star ingintospace.
Itr
eallybr okemyhear tseeinghiml ikethat,he
quicklylookedupwhenif inal
lywal kedfur t
heri
n.
Hewat chedmewal kin, t
heniset t
ledi nfrontofhim.
Het ookbot hmyhands, andkissedt hem.Ij ust
wat
chedhi
m,idi
dn'
tevent
ryt
ofi
ghthi
m.

Hi
m:idi
dntdoi
tmyl
ove,youhavet
obel
ieveme.

Me:whathappenedKhant
sho?
,pl
easedontt
ellme
i
tsMia.

Him:noi t
snotMi a.Thatgi rlwassuddenl yar egular
patient.I
twashert hirdt i
meyest erday,so
yesterdayshecompl ainedaboutherbadsmel ling
discharge.Soiaskedhert otakeof fherunderwear ,
butwhenit urnedt olookatherif oundhernaked.
Shei mmedi at el
yclimbedont hebedandspr edher
l
egs.Igotbet weenhert highs, asibegant o
exami neher .Thenshesuddenl yscreamed,i
couldn'tunder standwhatwashappeni ng.Untilmy
receptioni
stwal kedi n,thent hel i
ttl
egir
lcri
ed
sayingiwant edt oforcemysel fintoher.

Me:woah!
,l
it
tl
egi
rl
?
Hi
m:uhm.
..
shei
s16year
sol
der
.

Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutt
akemyhandsback.

Him:babyno,
pleasedontdothat
.Youhavet
o
bel
ievemebabyididntdoit
.

Me:whydi
dtheydenyyoubai
l?

Hi
m:myr ecept
ioni
sttur
nedagai
nstme,shet
old
t
hepoli
cethatshefoundmetryi
ngtof
orcemyself
i
ntoher
.

Me:what
?,t
hingsdontl
ooksogoodf
oryoumos.

Him:babyiam l
ookingatl
if
eimpr
isonment.Ineed
youbymysi de,
ifyoucanj
ustbel
ievemethenyou
wi
llbeabl
etowor
kwi
thRanger
.

Me:wor
kwi
thRangeronwhat
?

Hi
m:onf
indi
ngoutt
hepeopl
ewhoar
efr
ami
ngme.
I
nser
t186

Iswearthatgi
rlwaspayedbymyenemi
es,
ijust
dontknowwho.

Me:yoh,t
hisi
sal lt
oomuchKhant sho.Ireal
lydont
knowwhattothink,imeanmyf at
herwillbevisi
ti
ng
us.Whatwil
lisaytohim andLawrence?

Hi
m:babystar
tbybel
ievi
ngme,
thenwewi
llbeabl
e
t
oworktoget
her.

Me:whatot
herevi
dencedot
heyhave?
Hi
m:uhm.
..

Me:Khant
shoit
houghtyouneedmebyyoursi
de.

Him:theyfoundthi
sf akeconver
sat
ioni
nmyphone,
whereiam beggingthatgir
ltocometomypr
act
ice.
Iswearineversentt
hatmessage.

Me:yohKhantsho,whatsreall
ygoingonhere?
.I
meanthatr
eceptioni
sthaswor kedforyouf
oryear
s.
Whywouldshet urnagai
sntyounow?Andyour
phone?
,youarenevercarelesswithit
.

Him:babyt heypayedher.t
hepersonbehi
ndthi
s
haditallpl
anned.Pleasecomeseemeagai n
tomorrow,pleasebaby.

Me:okayf
ine.Iwi
llseewhaticando.
Hi
m:babyiloveyousomuch.iswearineversl
ept
wi
thanyoneelseexceptyou,
sincewegotmarr
ied.

Me:itshardtobeli
eveitwhensomuchis
happeningaroundyouKhantsho.Youst
il
lcant
expl
aintheg-str
ingandausedcondom ifound.So
for
givemei fif
inditt
oohardtobeli
evei
nyourlove
ri
ghtnow.

Hi
m:iwi
llf
ixi
t,iwi
llf
ixever
ythi
ng.

Me:whil
eyouar
einher
e??
,idoubti
t.Iwi
llseeyou
t
omorrow.

Ifi
nall
yknockedont hedoor,t
heprisonwarder
openedt heniwalkedout .Whenigotoutsi
dei
foundRangerwai ti
ngf ormeatthegate.Ifi
nall
y
reachedhim,thenwewal kedtowherewepar ked
thecar.Isett
ledi
nt hebackseat,
thenwedr ove
backhome.

Hi
m:ar
eyouokay?

Me:iam f
ine.Doyoual
sot
hinkt
her
e'saf
oulpl
ay?

Hi
m:andyoudont
?

Me:idontknowwhatt
othi
nk,
somuchdoesnt
makesense.

Him:exact
ly,
themor
ereasonit
hinksomeonei
s
behi
ndital
l.

Me:oh,thenweneedt
ofi
ndtheper
sonbef
oret
he
t
ri
al.ButmymoneyisonMia.

Hi
m:Mi
aDavi
dson?
Me:yes,
shehasamot
ive.
I
nser
t187

Hi
m:yesshehadthemot i
ve,butshewasstabbed
t
odeathl
astni
ghtinherhotel
.Khantshoandialso
t
houghti
twasher.

Me:what
?,t
henobvi
ousl
ythi
sisbi
ggert
hanus
mos.

Hi
m:exact
ly,
someoneisonaseri
ousmi
ssi
onof
messi
ngupthingsf
orKhant
sho.

Iwasmor ewor r
iednow,imeanithoughtMiawas
behindallthesemess.Iknowitsevil
,butiwasgl
ad
thatshewasf i
nall
youtofthepi
ctur
e.Shemademy
l
ifealivi
nghel l
.
20mi
nut
esl
aterRangerdr
oppedmeof
f,t
henhe
droveoff
.Iwalkedinsidetheyar
d,unl
ockedt
he
doorandwalkedin.Ilayedonthecouchasidial
ed
myf at
her.
*
phonecal
l*

Hi
m:babyar
eyouback?

Me:yes,
wher
ear
eyouguys?

Hi
m:wewer
ewai
ti
ngatNandos,
giveus10
mi
nut
es.

Ihungup, t
henr anupstair
stochangemyshoes
andwor emymor ningshoes.Theniwentback
downstair
s,asit extedmysmar tmout
habout
Khantsho'
ssituation.Theniwalkedt
othekit
chen
towarm upthef ood.
Minut
eslat
erihear
dthecarpar
ki n,
andiknewi
t
wasthem.Irantot
hedoortowelcomethem,
iopenedt hedoorandiwasmetbyf ather
.I
immedi atelyj
umpedonhi m, causi
nghi m and
Lawrencet ol
aughatme.Wef inal
lybrokethehug,
thenigavemybr otherati
ghtonet oo.Minuteslat
er
webr oket hehug,asiledthem tothetablesincei
hadalreadypr epar
edt hetabl
e.Weal lset
tled
aroundi t
,astheybegant oservethemselves.

Me:awdad,
ithoughtyouwer
ewai
ti
ngatNandos
mos?

Hi
m:(
laughed)wel
lwecantwast
ethi
sfood,
canwe?

Lawr
enceandibust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er.

Lawrence:youdontl
ooksogoodbaby,
youcant
evenhideitwit
hasmile.

Me:wel
lKhant
showasar
rest
edf
orat
tempt
edr
ape.
Andhesayshedi
dntdoi
t,butt
heevi
dencesays
ot
her
wise.

Dad:andyoudontbel
ievehi
m?

Me:idontknowdad,somuchdoesntmakesense.
Pl
uswear egoingt
hroughal
otasacoupl
e.

Lawr
ence:idontt
hinkhedi
dit
,thatboyl
ovesyou
si
s.

Dad:iwantt
oseeKhant
sho.
I
nser
t188

Me:why?
,imeant
hatcanonl
yhappent
omor
row.

Dad:t
hati
sf i
nebyme,
nowi
under
standwhyihad
t
ocomeher e.
Lawr
ence:yoh,
notagai
n.

Me:dadineveraskedyouaboutwhathappenedin
thi
shousewhenwewer econfront
ingKhantsho'
s
mom.Sopl easedontmakemeseet hatagai
n,iam
pregnant
.

Theybot
hbust
edoutwi
thl
aught
er.

Lawrence:
(l
aughed)t
hesooneryouacceptt
hatyour
fat
heriswit
ch,t
hebetter
.

Dad:
(l
aughed)butpeopl
earemessi
ngwi
thyour
marr
iagebaby,l
etdaddyshowof
f.

Me:(laughed)guysit
sfunnypl
ease.Khant
shois
faci
nglifei
mpr i
sonment,
ihavetohel
phim bef
ore
hist
rial
.
Dad:iagree,thi
siswhyineedtoseehim.Butfor
now,Lawr enceneedstogotoyourguestbat
hroom
andsearchf oraphone.

Me:whatphone?

Dad:somefakeevi
dencethatwasplant
ed.Nowgo
showLawrenceyourguestbat
hroom.

Lawr enceandiquickl
ymadeourwayt othat
bathroom, andLawrencebeganwi t
hhissear ch.I
wasntsur eifwewillf
indit
,unt
ilLawrencesear ched
thesoapwoodendr awerandfoundasmar tphone.
Het ookit,
thenwewal kedbacktomyf ather.

Dad:agir
lcamei nyourhouseandpl antedt
hat
.The
phonewasmadet obel
ievethatitbel
ongedtot
hat
l
it
tl
egir
l.Lawrencegoanddest royitnow.
Iwaslefti
ndi sbel
ief
,asisawLawr encewalkout
withi
t.Ihadtoquicklyrememberwhomi ghthave
plant
edit,it
houghtofMi a.Butiqui
ckly
rememberedt hefakejob.

Me:itsAmandadad,t
hatbi
tchpl
antedi
twhenshe
askedfort
hebat
hroom.Butwhydidshesendme
tojobur
g?

Dad:
(smil
ed)wewil
lknowsoon,dontworryabouti
t.
Noweatyourf
ood,
beforeourguest
sarr
ive.

Me:guest
s?

Justt
henLawr
encecamebackandset
tl
edonhi
s
chai
r.

Lawr
ence:al
ldone.
Dad:
(smi
led)good,
nowl
etseatmychi
ldr
en.

Wecontinuedt
oeat,butiwassti
llconcernedabout
Amanda.Whywoul dshedothattome? ,imeanits
notl
ikeweeverfought
.
30mi
nut
esl
atert
her
ewasaknockont
hedoor
.
I
nser
t189

Iquickl
ywenttoatt
endit
,andifound2pol
ice
off
icer
sinunif
orm.Thentheoneinfr
ontwasin
casualwear
.

Him:gooddayma'
am,iam det
ecti
veSit
hole.I
bel
ievet
hisi
sMoeket
si'
shousehol
d,r
ight?

Me:uhm.
..
yes.whatcanidof
oryou?
Him:ihaveawar
ranther
etosearchyourhouse,
somethi
ngtodowit
hyourhusband'scase.

Me:ohok.

Hehandedmet hecopyoft hewar r

ant,asthey
walkedi nandbeganwit
ht heirsear
ch.Iwal ked
backt othetabl
e,andmyFat herandbrotherwer e
unbot her
edaboutthi
swhol esearch.They
continuedtoeatli
kenot
hingwashappeni ng.I
decidedt osi
tdowntoo,
andwat chedthem eat.

Lawr
ence:ar
eyouf
ull
?

Me:comeonbr
o,howdoieatwi
tht
hesepeopl
e
her
e.

Dad:wel
ltheyar
eyourguest
sbaby.
Lawr
encej
ustl
aughed,
andishockmyhead.

Minut
eslatert
hepol
icecamebackempt
yhanded,
t
heythankedusandleft
.

Me:sot
heywer
eher
efort
hephone?

Lawr
ence:per
ksofhavi
ngaf
atherofawi
tch.

Webustedoutwi t
hlaughter
,asislowl yr
elaxed.
Onceagainmyf at
herwasher etofightmybat tl
es,
alt
houghiwasntsurehowhewasgoi ngtofight
thi
sone.Imeanwear edealingwiththelawand
evi
dence.Notsomebl ackmagicthatheisusedt o
do.
Whenwewer edoneeati
ng, dadwentt
othel
ounge
towatchtv.Whil
emybr otherandiwashedt
he
dishesandclear
edthekit
chen.Whenwewer edone
wewentt ojoi
nourfat
her.
Dad:wewi
llbel
eavi
ngat7am t
omor
row.

Me:pr
ison?

Dad:yes,
butiam goi
ngi
nal
one.

Me:nopr
obl
em.

Aft
erhowmydadsavedt hedaytoday,ihadal
otof
hopethathemightcomeupwi thsomethingt
hat
mightsaveKhantsho.Alt
houghidi
dntkeepmy
hopesup,becauseblackmagicdoesntworkonthe
l
aw.
9pm weallwentt oourrooms.Wel lmybr ot
herwas
goi
ngbackhomet omorrow,becausehehadaj ob
togetbackto.Soiwast heonewhowi llbedri
ving
mydadt oprison.Ididntfeel
li
kerefr
eshing,soi
j
ustchangedt omypj sandgotundert hecovers.
I
nser
t190

Whenicheckedmyphoneihadmissedcal
lsfr
om
mysmartmouthandRanger
.Myphonewas
act
ual
lyonsi
lent
.Ideci
dedt
ocal
lRangerfi
rst
.
*
phonecal
l*

Him:hey,ihavebeentr
yingt
ocallyou.Iheardthat
ther
ewasasear chinyourhouse,
didtheyfind
anythi
ng?

Me:no,
theyf
oundnot
hing.

Him:great
,ij
ustf
oundoutthatthevi
ctimi
srelat
ed
toAmandaNkosi,andKhantshobeli
evest
hatsheis
yourf
ri
end.

Me:WHAT?
.ohwel
lit
houghtshewas,
howar
ethey
r
elat
ed?
Hi
m:shei
sAmanda'
sni
ece.

Me:soAmandai
sbehi
ndal
lthese,
butwhy?And
how?

Him:iwi
llkeepdi
ggi
ngma'am,iwi
llkeepyou
updat
edififi
ndanyt
hingel
se.

Me:t
hankyouRanger
.Ir
eal
l
yappr
eci
atei
t.

Wef
inal
lyhungup,
thenidi
aledmysmar
tmout
h.
*
phonecal
l*

Her:Fi
nall
y,howareyoubabe?
.Ionl
ysawyourt
ext
af
terknocki
ngoff.

Me:iam goodbabe,
atl
eastmyf
atherandbr
other
ar
ewi
thme.

Her
:iam gl
ad.Butidontt
hinkKhant
shodi
dit
.

Me:if eelbadf
ordoubti
nghim,nowitmakessense
thatitwasallasetup.Amandaist
hemastermind
ofallthese.

Her
:thesameAmandawhosentyout
ojobur
gfor
not
hing?

Me:yes,
isti
lldontunder
standwhyshewoul
ddo
t
hatbabe.Imeani t
snotli
kewefought
.

Her
:wellat
leastyouknowthatyourmandi
dntdoi
t,
nowyouhavet ofi
ghtforhi
sfreedom.

Me:iam wor
kingoni
tbaby.
Wespokesomemore,t
henwef
inal
lyhungup.Iset
a5am al
arm,
thensl
ept
.
Thenextmor ni
ng, iwaswokenbyt healarm andi
didnthavemuchoft hemor ningsicknesses.Imade
mybed, t
henwal kedt otheshower .Wheniwas
doneiwor emyyel lowmat chingtracksuits,
wi t
hmy
whi teai
rforce1.If i
xedmyf aceandweave, theni
wal keddownstairst omakebr eakfast.Ifoundmy
fatherandbr ot
heri nthekit
chen, alr
eadyeat i
ng
breakfast.

Me:awguys,
doyoueversl
eep?

Bro:
(l
aughed)wesl
eptwellt
hankyouver
ymuch.
Yourfoodisi
ntheoven.

Il
aughedasiwal
kedt
otheovenandt
ookmypl
ate.
I
nser
t191
Itwast oastedchi ckenandmayosandwi ch.Ididnt
wantt oaskwhent heycookedt hechicken,ijoined
them aroundt het ableandset t
ledforapplejuice
i
nsteadoft ea.Weat ewhi l
ehavi ngalight
conversation,ilovedhowt heyalwaysmanagedt o
keepmecal m eveninstressfulmoment s.Whenwe
weredoneeat ing,itwasalready20t o7.Iclear ed
thetable,thenit oldmybr otherthatiwouldwash
thedisheswhenicomeback.
Wef i
nallytookourthi
ngs,andwalkedout .Il
ocked
thehouse, t
henmyf at
herandigoti nmycar .Whi l
e
mybr othergoti
nhis,anddroveoff.Idroveoffafter
him,asiheadt oKgosiMampur uprison.Myf ather
wasconcent rat
ingonhisnewspaper ,
soideci ded
tosoftl
yplayKhalid

Ast
imepasses,
Ifeel
sol
ow
Sear
chi
n'f
orpi
eces,
cover
ingupt
hehol
es
I
'
llf
ightf
oryourl
ove,
I'
llf
ightf
oryoursoul
I
'
llt
hrowal
lofmycar
esawayf
oryou
I
'
llbet
her
etowai
tforyou

20minutesl
aterwearr
ivedandiparkedthecar.My
fat
hert
ookhisnewspaperandwalkedinside.I
deci
dedtosi
tbackandl i
stent
oKhalid.

☆Khant
sho☆

Myf reedom seemedt obedr if

ti
ngaway, somehowi
feltl
ikeiwaspayi ngformysi ns.Icoul
dn' tsleep
lastnight,t
hinkingaboutmywi fe'
svisi
t.Thi swas
supposet obeourhoneymoonphase, butiwast oo
busyent ert
ainingfool
ishness.Lookwher eiam now,
ijusthopedt hatshewoul dcomebackt odayl i
ke
shepr omised.Ihadl i
mitedti
meyest erday,andi
hadal ottosayt oher.
Iwasbroughtbackf
rom myt hought
sbythe
wardensayi
ngihadavisit
or.Myheartj
umpedwith
j
oy,becauseiwasonlyexpecti
ngRangerl
ater
.I
quickl
yfol
lowedthewar dentothevisit
ingar
ea.
Whenheopenedt hedoorf orme, iwasshockedto
fi
ndherfatheri
nsteadofher.Islowlymademyway
i
n,andsettledi
nfrontofhim.Hesmi ledandclosed
hi
snewspaper .
I
nser
t192

Him:whenyoucamet omeamonthago,yousaid
youwer er
eadytomakemydaughteryourwif
e.I
bel
ievedyouandallowedyout
opaylobol
aforher
wit
houtherknowledge.Sowhyar
eyouhere?,whi
le
shesleepsal
oneatnight.

Me:sirmyf ool
ishnessl
edmeher e.Surel
yifi
focusedonlovingmywi fe,iwasntgoingtoendup
here.Butisweartoyousi r
,ineversl
eptwith
anyoneelsesincewegotmar ri
ed.Il
oveyour
daughtersomuch, iam onlyquil
tyofall
owingmy
extomessar oundmymar riage.
Hi
m:wellihearyou,
let
sjusthopeyoul
ear
nedyour
l
esson.

Me:ofcausesi
r,ij
ustwantt
ogetoutofhere.So
t
haticanmakei tuptoher
,fort
herestofherdays.

Hi
m:isee,
soyouraunti
sthemast
ermi
ndofyour
ar
rest
.

Me:what?,
no.Imeanionl
yhaveoneaunt
,sur
ely
shecoul
dn'tdot
hatt
ome.

Him:okayl
etmeenl ightenyou.Yourauntwasin
thesamecultwit
hyourmot her,sosi
nceyour
motherdi
edshedeci dedtot akeover
.Butherway
wastodestr
oyyou, sinceyouf ail
edt
okeepherri
ch.
Shewaspartofyoursacr i
fice,sowhenyougot
marri
edshelostherweal t
h.
Iquicklystoodup,asocouldn'
tbeli
evet
hataunt
Dorahwoul ddothatt
ome.Nowi tmakessense
whymymot herwasconfi
denttouseauntDorahas
heralibiinever
ythi
ngshedid.Evenfort
hatf
ake
welcomi ngceremony,shesai
dauntDorahwil
lbe
handlingit.

Me:sot
hel
it
tl
egi
rlwaspayedbyher
?

Him:i
nawayyes.yourauntgat heredyourexand
theAmandagir
l.Butshequicklynoti
cedthatyour
exwasgoingtosell
herout,soshehadherki l
led.
Youraunti
sinaseriousmissionofdestr
oyingyou
boy.

Me:isti
llcantbeli
evei
t,imeanididntt
hinkt
hatf
ar.
Andhowwi l
liexposeher,imeaniwil
lneed
concr
eteevidencetober el
eased.

Hi
m:t
hati
swhyiam her
eson.Wel
lit
snosecr
et
t
hatyousawt
hatiam wi
tchr
ight
?

Eish,
ineverwantedtotal
ktotheol
dmanabout
whatisawhimt ransf
ormint
osnake.Butnowihad
tonowayt oescapeit
.
I
nser
t193

Me:uhm...
yessi
r.Butwhati
sthatgott
odowi
th
ever
ythi
ng?

Him:(
laughed)j
ustal
itt
lemagi
ciwantt
oper
for
m
r
ightnow.

Yohisl owlysteppedback, iwasnotr eadytosee

thathugesnakeagai n.Hej ustsmiledandt ouched
thatnewspaperaf ewt i
mes, thenitturnedint
oa
deadlizard.Yohicouldn'tgobackt ot hatt
able,t
hat
waswi tchcraf
tonanot herlevel.
Him:yousaidsomethi
ngaboutwant
ingt
ogetout
ofhere.Youwil
lhavet
ositdown,
andchewthetal
e.

Me:WHAT? ,noways.Nooff
encesi
r,butt
hati
s
di
sgust
ing.Chewthetal
e?,
seri
ousl
y?

Him:wel
liam deadseri
ous,buti
fyouwantto
r
emaininher
ef orsomethi
ngthatyoudi
dntdothen
i
tsfi
ne.

Me:okay,
okay.Iwi
lldoi
t,doiswal
lowi
t?

Hi
m:yes,
wewantt hosepeopl
etoconf
ess.That
s
t
heonl
yevidenceyouneedri
ghtnow.

Islowlywalkedbacktothetable,
thenbegant o
chewt heendofthetal
e.Yohiwant edtopuke, my
eyesheldtearsfr
om tr
yingsohar dtoswall
owal l
that.Onceiwasdonet ear
sfelloffmyface,not
f
rom cr
yingbutf
rom t
hegr
ossij
ustat
e.

Hi
m:(smil
ed)youwil
lbeoutofher
ebytheendof
t
oday.Anddontfor
gett
hepromisesyoumade.

Het ouchedtheli
zardafewt i
mes, t
heni tt
urned
backt othenewspaper
.Het ookitandf i
nall
ywalked
out.Yohiwassuddenlyf eelingsick,iaskedtogo
thebathroom andthewar denescor t
edme.Idr ank
alotofwater,wheniwasdoneiwast akenbackt o
mycel l.

1hourlat
ermyf at
hercameback,hegotinand
askedmet odr
ivehome.Ididasiwastold,
al
thoughiwascuriousonwhatwenton.Whilewe
wereonthewayideci dedt
oaskhim,si
ncehewas
notpl
anningontel
lingme.

Me:dadcomeon.
Hi
m:(
laughed)whati
sitbaby?

Me:daddywhathappened?,
didyoumanaget
ofi
nd
somethi
ngthatcoul
dhelpus?

Him:act
ual
lyyes,
ithi
nkweshoul
djustwai
tand
see.

Thenheopenedhi snewspaper
,andbeganto
concentr
ateonit
.Heh,thi
soldmanmar a.Ij
ustl
et
him beanddroveushome.
I
nser
t194

☆Nar
rat
ed☆

Meanwhi
leinSunnysi de,t
hingsgotnastyfor
Amandaandherni eceZandi l
e.Theybothfeltt
he
t
emperat
urerai
singi nthei
rbodies,t
heybot h
wal
kedoutoftheirfl
atandgott otheroad.They
causedunexpect edt r affic,aspeopl esawt wo
beaut i
fulgi r
lsget tingnakednextt othet raf f
ic
cont r
oll i
ghts.Peopl ewer eevenr eadywi ththei r
phones, taki
ngvi deos.Oncet heywer enaked, t
hey
bothl ayeddownont hepavement .Andbegan
rubbingeachot her '
scl its,not hingwasr unni ngi n
theirmi nds.Theydi dntevencar eaboutt hepeopl e
aroundt hem, theywer enotevenawar eabout
wher etheywer e.Rubbi ngeachot her'sclitgotso
pleasur able,thatAmandat ookZandi leandmade
herclimbont opofherbutl ooki ngawayf rom her .
Ast heyt ookt he69posi ti
on, Zandi l
et ookheraunt '
s
swal l
encl i
tbet weenherl ips.Causi ngAmandat o
gowi del yonZandi le'scl ittoo.Thepl easur ewasso
good, theydi dntwantt ost op.Theybot hcoul dn't
heart henoi sesur roundi ngt hem, t
heywer ei nt heir
ownwor ld.Awor ldofpl easur e,theyincr easedt hei
r
movement scausi ngeachot hert omoani neach
other'scooki e.Whent heyf inal l
yusedt het ipof
theirtongest oci rcul at eont hecooki eent r
ance,
theybot hcoul dn'thel pbutcum i neachot her '
s
mout hs.
Theygotuplikenothinghappened,andmoved
awayf r
om t
hepeopl easiftheyweresleepwalki
ng.
Theywentstrai
ghttot hemainroad,Wherethe
truckwasapproachinginspeedandt ookbothof
them downandt heydiedri
ghtonspot .

I
nPretori
aCent r
alpoli
cest ati
on,auntDorahwal
ked
i
nahur r
ylookingfordetectiveSit
hole.Sheal
sofel
t
t
hetemperaturerai
singinherbody, some
i
ndescri
babl
ef i
rewast akingoverherbody.
Det
ecti
veSitholefi
nall
yappear ed.

Her:mynephewi sinnocentsir
,ipayedAmanda
andherniecetocryrape.KhantshoMoeketsii
s
i
nnocent,ievenpayedtherecepti
onistt
oli
eabout
whatshesaw.Youcancheckmyphone, ihaveal
l
theconversat
ionsandemai l
softhemoneyisentto
thosepeople.
I
nser
t195
Andlast
lyiam t
heonewhosentpeoplet
ogoand
ki
llMiaDavi
dson,pl
easer
eleasemynephew.

TheDet ecti
vewasi nshock,asauntDor ahgr abbed
thewhol estati
on'
sattenti
on.TheDet ectiveasked
oneof f
icertotakehertothei nt
errogati
onr oom to
gettheconf essi
oninrecording.Thendet ecti
ve
Sit
holecalledKhantsho'slawyer,askingtomeeti n
court.

Whenwegothome, mydadwentst raighttothe

l
oungeandswi tchedont hetv.Ijustwentupst air
s
andchangedmysneaker stomymor ningshoes.
Theniwentbackt otheki t
chen,imadeacupof
coff
eeandcooki es.Aft
erputti
ngt hem ont hetray,i
wenttotheloungeandpl acedthem inf rontofhim.
Hethankedme, theniwentbackt otheki t
chenasi
washedthosemor ni
ngdishes.Onceiwasdonei
defr
ostedporkchopsandpor ksausages.If eltlike
havi
ngf r
iedporktoday,thenibeganonchoppi ng
thesideveget
abl
es.Justt
henmyphonerang,
i
quicklywi
pedmyhands.Thenipi
ckedupmyphone
andi twasmybrot
her.
*
phonecal
l*

Me:bi
gbr
other
.

Hi
m:heysi
s,ij
ustar
ri
ved.Howdi
ditgo?

Me:
(laughed)ihavenoi
deabro,yourf
atherwal
ked
i
naloneandnevercaredtoshar
e.Hesimplysai
d
weshouldwaitandsee.

Hi
m: (
laughed)nowthat
syourwi
tchf
atherf
oryou.I
wi
llcallyouguysl
ater
,okay?

Me:thanksbro,
halaatConni
eformeandki
ssmy
chubbynephewf orme.
Hi
m:(
laughed)wi
lldo.

Ihungup,t
hencont
inuedwi
thmychoppi
ng.My
fat
herwal
kedinwit
hanemptytr
ay,
andplacedi
t
nextt
othesink.

Hi
m:youshoul
dcookenoughf
oodbaby.

Me:(l
aughed)iam i
ntendi
ngondoingthatsi
r,i
not
icedthatmyfatherisafoodl
over
.

Him:
(l
aughed)iam gl
adyounot
iced.I
'
m goi
ngt
oli
e
down,cal
lmewhent hef
oodisr
eady.

Ibustedoutwit
hlaught
er,ashetookthestairsto
hi
sr oom.Iwasdefi
nit
elyonabettermood, andit
wasal lt
hankst
omydadf orbeinghere.Justthen
myphoner anganditwasTsholo.
*
I
nser
t196

*
phonecal
l*

Tsholo:Amandamadet
heheadl
ines,
letmesend
youthevideonow.

Shesaidandhungup.Iqui cklyl
oggedinmy
whatsappandicouldn'tbel
ievemyeyesafter
openingthatvi
deo.Iquickl
yloggedoutanddial
ed
Tsholoagain.

*
phonecal
l*

Me:whenwast
hist
aken?

Her
:yohhour
sago,
iam notsur
e.Canyoubel
ieve
thataf
tert
hatunspeakabl
e,t
heywentst
rai
ght
underthet
ruckanddiedonthespot
.

Me:WHAT?

Her:hehAmandamessedwi ththewr ongmarr

ied
mant hi
sti
me,i
tscl
earshewasnoti nherr
ight
st
ateofmindwhenshedi dallt
hat.Iam st
il
l
wonderi
ngwhothatli
ttl
egir
listhough.Imeanshe
l
ookedyoungforal
lthat.

Me:yohbabe,
idon'
tknowwhatt
osay.

Her:welli
tspai
nfull
ove,butshebroughtallthatt
o
hersel
f.Herobsessi
onwithmoneyl andedheri na
pavementdoingtheunspeakabl
e.Somemar ried
womendontpl aywhenitcomest otheirhusbands.

Wespokesomemor
e,andhungup.Okayidi
dnt
wantt oaccusemyf at herofanyt
hing,butthatgot
him writ
tenalloverit .Iam evenaf r
aidtoaskhi m
aboutit,al
thoughdeepdownmyhear twasdanci ng
withjoy.Somepeopl emi ghtblamemesayi ngi
condonewi tchcraft,butt hisl
ifei
sneverasbl ack
andwhi teasyouwanti ttobe.Iwasavi ct
imi nal
l
ofthat,andicoul dn'tchangemyf atherforwhohe
was.Iwasonl ygladt hathewasmyf ather,andhe
hadhi swaysofpr otect i
ngmypeace.Iwas
honestlygratefulfort hat.
Ibegantofr
ymypor k,whi
lesi
ppi
ngonmyappl e
j
uice.Wit
hsomeKhal i
dplayi
ngsoft
lyonthe
backgr
ound.Notthatiwascel
ebr
ati
ng,butt
hings
wereslowl
ygett
ingtoget
herandiwashappywith
that
.

not
hingf
eel
sbet
tert
hant
his
Not
hingf
eel
sbet
tert
hant
his
No,
no.Wedontdontgott
ohi
de
Thi
siswhatyoul
ike
Igot
tamake,
Not
hingf
eel
sbet
tert
hant
his.

7pm iwasdonewi t
hallt
hecooki
ng,soiwent
upstai
rstoref
reshandworemypjsandmygown
ontop.Theniwenttowakemydad,aswemadeit
tothetabl
eiprepar
ed.
Justthenther
ewasaknockont hedoor ,
ilookedat
mydadt henwentt
oat t
endit
.Wheniopenedt he
dooriwasmetbymyhusband.Idi dntknowwhatt o
do,it
hinkiwasnolongersur
ethatiwouldseehim
here.

Hi
m:babyiam home.
I
nser
t197

Nowt hosewor
dsbroughtdownt het
earsiwas
tr
yingsohardt
ofight.Ijustj
umpedonhi m,andhe
gladl
yheldmeinhisstrongarms.Nowt hat
shome,
asmuchasiwasst il
lmadathi m ist
il
lwantedhi
m
cl
osertome.Therestwoul dfol
lowaft
er,mi
nutes
l
aterwebroket hehugandil edhi mi nside.To
wheremyf at herwassi t
ti
ng,myf atherstoodupas
theyhandshaked.ThenKhant showentt owashhi s
handsbeforehecoul dsett
leddownnextt ome.We
begantoser veour servesoveral ightconversation.
Thejoyinmyhear twasi ndescribable,ididnteven
havethestrengt hinmet oaskhi m howhegotout .I
wasjusthappyt hathewashome.
Aft
ereating,myfat
hersaidhewassti
llt
ir
edsohe
wentbackt ohisr
oom.Iknewhewasl yi
ngbecause
herestedenoughearl
ier
,hejustwant
edtoleaveme
al
onewi thmyhusband.Lolandiwasnot
complaining.

Webot hclearedthetabl
e,andwenttothekitchen
towasht hedishesjustl
ikethegoodolddays.So
muchneededt obesaid,butnei
therofuswant edt
o
start
.Oncewewer edone,hetookmyhandl eading
met othelounge.Weshar edacouch,ashet ookmy
feetandplacedthem onhislap.Thenbegant o
massaget hem.
Hi
m:howi
smybabyt
reat
ingyou?

Me:okayiguess,
notmuchofmor
ningsi
cknesses.

Him:(
smiled)iam glad.BabyIneversl eptwit
hMia
i
nourhome, sheplantedthosethingst oget
betweenus.Iwasweakandf ool
isht oall
owherin
ourli
vesagain.Ihavel ear
nedmyl essonthehar
d
waypossible,iwil
lneverevermakeyoudoubtmy
l
oveeveragai n.

Me:
(smi
led)iam gl
adyouar
ehome,
imi
ssedyour
membersomuch.

Him:
(bust
edoutwit
hlaught
er)iam sohur
tri
ght
now,youdi
dntmissme?

Me:
(l
aughed)j
ustal
it
tl
e.
Heconti
nuedtolaugh,
ashepi ckedmeupandr an
wit
hmeupstair
s.Yesiam stupidlyandcr
azi
ly
i
nlovewi
thmyhusband, andichoosetobeli
evehi
m.
Wehavebeenthroughhellandback,andist
il
l
chooset
obeli
eveinourlove.
I
nser
t198

yeshemadehi
smi
stakesbutiknowhel
ovesme
too.

Whenwer eachedourroom,ourlipsmetandour
cl
othesbegant ofl
yalloverourroom.Hegrabbed
mybut tandlif
tedmeupasi wrappedmylegs
aroundhiswaist.t
hekisswaspassi onat
eandfull
ofunsaidlove.
Hefi
nall
yplacedmeont hebed,ashebegantoki
ss
mynippl
esandr ubbedmycli
t.Hesuckedonmy
ni
ppl
es,taki
ngt urnswit
hthem.Ashebegantorub
mycli
tinacircularmoti
onandicouldn'
thel
pbut
j
ackmyhi psupanddown.Heappl iedmor e
pressureonmycl i
tandr ubbedmef ast
erandfast
er
unti
licouldn'thol
dbackanymor e.Hecont i
nued
unti
lilostitandreleasedallmyjui
cesinhishand.

Hef i
nall
yl ookeduponmeandsmi led.Wi t
hout
wastinganyt imehegotont opofmeandpushed
hishardshaf tinmywetcooki e.Hesl owl ybegant o
movei nandoutme, passi
onat elytakinghist i
me
conneti
ngwi thmysoul .Hit
tingever ycor nerwallof
mycooki e, t
hepl easurewentsodeept haticouldn'
t
helpbutsof tl
ysayhi snameever ychanceigot .He
begantoi ncreasehi spaceandij ustlostit
,and
camebuthef uckedmet hroughmycl imax.Ashe
begantogodeeperandhar der,withever ythrust
causingmet ofeel t
hepleasureal loveragai n.He
wasapol ogising,andiwasenj oyingever ymoment
ofit
.Whenhedeepenedhi sstrokeswebot hlosti
t,
asmymoanscompet edwithhi sgroans.Hewent
fast
eranddeeperunt i
lwebot hcame.
Hesl
owlysli
ppedoutofme,
andlayednextt
ome.
Andipl
acedmyheadonhischest,
ashebegant
o
runhishandonmynakedbody.Sendi
ngbut
ter
fl
ies
allovermybody.

Hi
m:iam i
ntendi
ngonshowi
ngyouhowgr
atef
uli
am t
obeyourhusband.

Me:
(smi
led)andichooset
oneverst
opl
ovi
ngyou
MrMoeketsi
.

Hi
m:(
smi
led)f
orevermi
ne.

Hekissedmyf
orehead,
aswecover
edourbodi
es
andslept
.

☆Nar
rat
ed☆

7mont
hslat
er.auntDorahwasalreadyi
nKgosi
Mampur
ufemaleprison,ser
vingl
if
eimpri
sonment
.
I
nser
t199

Shecoul dn'tunder standwhyshewaspl acedina

i
sol atedcel l.Shebegant ounder standoneni ght,
whenshewaswakenbyal i
ttl
ewhi sperinherear .
Shequi ckl ysatupandshewasmetby3hal f
humanhal fani malnakedmen, st andi ngnexttoher
bed.Shet r
iedt oscr eam buthervoi cecouldn't
comeout .Shet r
iedt omovef r
om t hebed, butthey
quicklyj umpedonherast heyrippedof fherclothes.
Onceshewasnaked, t
he1stoneposi ti
onedhimself
onhercooki eent ranceandpushedi nherdry
cooki ecausi nghert oscream withpai nbuther
voicewasst illnotcomi ngout .The2ndonewent
straightt oherni ppl esasi tbegant ochewher
nipples, whilet he3r donewentt ohermout h
choki ngherwi t
hi t
sdi ck.Shecoul dn'tbreath
anymor e,pai nwasget t
ingtoodeep.Ast heboys
tookt urnswi thherunt i
lshedied.

Khant
shoandDi
ntl
ewer
egoi
ngsost
rongand
Dintl
ewascl osert othef i
nishi ngl ine.Theyst il
l
didntknowt hegenderbecauset heywant edi ttobe
asur prise.Dint l
ewassohuge, andshewant edt o
popoutal ready.Onemor ningt heywokeup
together ,andhadashowert oget her .Dintlewas
easilyirrit
ated, soKhant shohadt oal wayswat ch
whathesaysandhowhesaysi t
.Oncet heywer e
doneshower ing,theydr i
edandl ot i
onedt heir
bodies.Theydr essedinsummermat chingout fi
t,
sincet heweat herwassowel comi ngout side.They
fi
nallywentt ohavebr eakfast ,whent heywer edone
Khant shol edhi swi f
et ohiscar .Di ntlecoul dn't
under standt hef ussofgoi ngoutsoear lyinthe
mor ning, butsheendedupl ettingi tbe.Theyf inal
ly
droveof ftoCent uri
on, whil
econver singabout
Khant sho' snewl yopenedpr act icei nj oburg.
20mi nuteslatertheyfinal
lyarr
ivedinthi
sbeaut i
ful
buil
ding,thatDintl
ef oundsoappealing.Khantsho
wentt oherside,tohelphergetof ft
hecar .Then
theywalkedi nsi
de, andtheyfoundtheinteri
or
designersbusyi nside.
Khant
sho:babyif
oundyouaj
ob,
iknowhowmuch
i
ndependencemeanst
oyou.

Di
ntl
e:whatdoyoumeanbaby?
I
nser
t200

Khant
sho:
(smiled)yourjobi
st oownt hi
scompany
andnameit,
becausei ti
sallyours.Yourevent
companywaiti
ngf oryoutorunit
.

Dintl
ecouldn'
tholdherexci
tement
,shescreamed
withjoyasshehuggedherhusbandwithtears
fal
li
ngoffherface.

Dint
le:
(bet
weenhert
ears)babyt
hankyousomuch,
idontknowhowtothankyou.

Khant
sho:
(smi
led)
youar
ewel
comemywi
fe.
Justthenherwaterbr
oke,Khant
sholookeddown
andbackatherwi t
hshockonhisface.Untilhe
fi
nall
yhelpedherbacktothecar
.Anddr oveoffto
thenearestpr
ivat
ehospit
al.
15mi nutesl atertheyarri
ved, hequicklywenti nside
totakeawheel chair
.Foll
owedbyot hernur ses,they
helpedhi m putDi ntl
eont hatwheel chair,
thenshe
waswheel edi nside.WhileKhantshosor t
edoutt he
papersatt her eceptiondesk.Whenhewasdonehe
madehi swayt owher eshewast aken.They
notif
iedhimt hatitwast i
me, andneededt odr ess
accordingly.Hedi dashewast old,thenwal ked
i
nsidet hewar dwher ehef oundherwi f
escr eaming.
Hequi cklywentt oher,andhel dherhand.

Hi
m:t
hisi
sitmyl
ove,
givet
hem yourbestpush.

Dint
lewascr yi
ngasshewastoldtopush.Shegave
outherbestpushandfi
nal
lyheardababycry.Just
whenshet houghti
twasfi
nal
lyit
,sheheardthe
doctoraskhertopushagai n.Khantshoqui cklylet
goofherhandandwentt ohol dhisfirstbabyboy.
Dintl
egaveoutherf inaloverwor kedpush, and
fi
nallyheardanotherlowbabycr y.Dintl
ejust
closedhereyes,whiletearscont i
nuedt ofalldown
from thecorner
sofhereyes.Khant shohadt earsof
j
oys, ashecouldn'tbeli
evet hatDintl
egavebi rthto
twins.
Hisbabyboyswer etakenaway,ashewentbackto
hiswifeandheldherhand.Dint
leslowl
yopenedher
eyes.AsKhantshowi pedof
fhertears.

Khantsho:t
hankyousomuchmommy, ourboys
arehealt
hy.Youmademeafat
herbaby,afat
herof
two.

Di
ntl
e:(
smi
led)youar
ewel
comedaddy.

Khant
sho:
(smi
led)anynamesyoucant
hinkof
?
I
nser
t201
Di
ntl
e:(
smi
led)it
hinkKhot
hat
soandkhot
so.

Khant
sho:(
widel
ysmi
led)il
ovet
hem baby.They
ar
eperfect
.

Di
ntl
esmi
led,
justt
henKhant
sho'
sphoner
ang.
*
phonecal
l*

Lawr
ence:hey,
areyouwi
thDee?

Khant
sho:ohyes,
wej
ustgotbl
essedwi
tht
wins.

Lawr
ence:WHAT?
,congr
atul
ati
onsman.

Khant
sho:t
hankyousomuch,
pleaset
ellt
heol
d
man.
Lawr
ence:uhm..
.heist
her
easonical
led.Theol
d
mandiedinhi
ssleep.

TheEnd.