Cats

Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber

Based on ‘Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats’ by T.S. Eliot
Additional Lyrics by Trevor Nunn and Richard Stilgoe

ACT ONE – ‘When Cats Are Maddened By The Midnight Dance’

MUSICQ1: OVERTURE

MUSICQ2: PROLOGUE – JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS

Munkustrap: ARE YOU BLIND WHEN YOU’RE BORN? Demeter:

CAN YOU SEE IN THE DARK?
Asparagus: CAN YOU LOOK AT A KING?
Skimbles: WOULD YOU SIT ON HIS THRONE?
Tugger: CAN YOU SAY OF YOUR BITE THAT IT’S WORSE THAN YOUR BARK?
Alonzo: ARE YOU COCK OF THE WALK
Grizabella: WHEN YOU’RE WALKING ALONE?

Company: BECAUSE JELLICLES ARE AND JELLICLES DO

JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES WOULD
JELLICLES WOULD AND JELLICLES CAN
JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO

Jellylorum: WHEN YOU FALL ON YOUR HEAD, DO YOU LAND ON YOUR FEET?
Scoricopat: ARE YOU TENSE WHEN YOU SENSE THERE’S A STORM IN THE AIR?
Sillabub: CAN YOU FIND YOUR WAY BLIND
WHEN YOU’RE LOST IN THE STREET?
Deut: DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GO TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER?

Company: BECAUSE JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO

JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES CAN
JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO
JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES CAN
JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO

Tantomile: CAN YOU RIDE ON A BROOMSTICK TO PLACES FAR DISTANT?

Jennyany: FAMILIAR WITH CANDLE, WITH BOOK AND WITH BELL?
Bombalurina: WERE YOU WHITTINGTON’S FRIEND?
Pouncival: THE PIED PIPER’S ASSISTANT?
Plato: HAVE YOU BEEN AN ALUMNUS OF HEAVEN AND HELL?

Tumblebrute: ARE YOU MEAN LIKE A MINX?

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Victoria: ARE YOU LEAN LIKE A LYYNX?
Mungojerry: ARE YOU KEEN TO BE SEEN WHEN YOU’RE SMELLING A RAT +
Rumple

Cassandra: WERE YOU THERE WHEN THE PHARAOHS

COMMISSIONED THE SPHINX?

Company: IF YOU WERE AND YOU ARE, YOU’RE A JELLICLE CAT

Company: JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS

JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS

WE CAN DIVE THROUGH THE AIR LIKE A FLYING TRAPEZE

WE CAN TURN DOUBLE SOMERSAULTS, BOUNCE ON A TIRE
WE CAN RUN UP THE WALL, WE CAN SWING THROUGH THE
TREES
WE CAN BALANCE ON BARS, WE CAN WALK ON A WIRE

JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO

JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO
JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO
JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS

CAN YOU SING AT THE SAME TIME IN MORE THAN ONE KEY?
DUETS BY ROSSINI AND WALTZES BY STRAUSS
AND CAN YOU (AS CATS DO) BEGIN WITH A C
THAT ALWAYS TRIUMPHANTLY BRINGS DOWN THE HOUSE

JELLICLE CATS ARE QUEEN OF THE NIGHTS

SINGING AT ASTRONOMICAL HEIGHTS
HANDLING PIECES FROM THE MESSIAH
HALLELUJAH, ANGELICAL CHOIR

THE MYSTICAL DIVINITY OF UNASHAMED FELINITY

ROUND THE CATHEDRAL RANG ‘VIVAT!’
LIFE TO THE EVERLASTING CAT
FELINE, FEARLESS, FAITHFUL AND TRUE
TO OTHERS WHO DO WHAT

JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES CAN

JELLICLES CAN AND JELLICLES DO
JELLICLE CATS SING JELLICLE CHANTS
JELLICLES OLD AND JELLICLES NEW
JELLICLE SONG AND JELLICLE DANCE

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 JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS

PRACTICAL CATS, DRAMATICAL CATS

PRAGMATICAL CATS, FANATICAL CATS
ORATORICAL CATS, DELPHIORACLE CATS
SKEPTICAL CATS, DISPEPTICAL CATS
ROMANTICAL CATS, PEDANTICAL CATS
CRITICAL CATS, PARASITICAL CATS
ALLEGORICAL CATS, METAPHORICAL CATS
STATISTICAL CATS AND MYSTICAL CATS
POLITICAL CATS, HYPOCRITICAL CATS
CLERICAL CATS, HYSTERICAL CATS
CYNICAL CATS, RABBINICAL CATS JELLICLE
SONGS FOR JELLICE CATS
JELLICLE BELLS THAT JELLICLES RING
JELLICLE SHARPS AND JELLICLE FLATS
JELLICLE SONGS THAT JELLICLES SING

JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICE CATS

JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS
JELLICLE SONGS FOR JELLICLE CATS

Asparagus: THERE’S A MAN OVER THERE WITH A LOOK OF SURPISE

AS MUCH AS TO SAY, ‘WELL NOW HOW ABOUT THAT?’
Munkustrap: DO I ACTUALLY SEE WITH MY OWN VERY EYES
A MAN WHO’S NOT HEARD OF A JELLICLE CAT?
WHAT’S A JELLICLE CAT
Company: WHAT’S A JELLICLE CAT?

MUSICQ3: THE NAMING OF CATS

Company: THE NAMING OF CATS IS A DIFFICULT MATTER

IT ISN’T JUST ONE OF YOUR HOLIDAY GAMES
YOU MAY THINK AT FIRST I’M AS MAD AS A HATTER
WHEN I TELL YOU A CAT MUST HAVE THREE DIFFERENT NAMES

FIRST OF ALL, THERE’S THE NAME THAT THE FAMILY USE DAILY
SUCH AS PETER, AUGUSTUS, ALONZO OR JAMES
SUCH AS VICTOR OR JONATHAN, GEORGE OR BILL BAILEY
ALL OF THEM SENSIBLE, EVERYDAY NAMES

THERE ARE FANCIER NAMES IF YOU THINK THEY SOUND SWEETER

SOME FOR THE GENTLEMEN, SOME FOR THE DAMES
SUCH AS PLATO, ADMETAS, ELECTRA, DEMETER
BUT ALL OF THEM SENSIBLE EVERYDAY NAMES

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 BUT I TELL YOU A CAT NEEDS A NAME THAT’S PARTICULAR
A NAME THAT’S PECULIAR, AND MORE DIGNIFIED
ELSE HOW CAN HE KEEP UP HIS TAIL PERPENDINCULAR
OR SPREAD OUT HIS WHISKERS, OR CHERISH HIS PRIDE?

OF NAMES OF THIS KIND, I CAN GIVE YOU A QUORUM

SUCH AS MUNKUSTRAP, QUAXO OR CORICOPAT
SUCH AS BOMBALURINA, OR ELSE JELLYLORUM
NAMES THAT NEVER BELONG TO MORE THAN ONE CAT

BUT ABOVE AND BEYOND THERE’S STILL ONE NAME LEFT OVER
AND THAT IS THE NAME THAT YOU NEVER WILL GUESS
THAT NAME THAT NO HUMAN RESEARCH CAN DISCOVER
BUT THAT HE HIMSELF KNOWS, AND WILL NEVER CONFESS

WHEN YOU NOTICE A CAT IN PROFOUND MEDITATION

THE REASON, I TELL YOU, IS ALWAYS THE SAME:
HIS MIND IS ENGAGED IN A RAPT CONTEMPLATION
OF THE THOUGHT, OF THE THOUGHT
OF THE THOUGHT OF HIS NAME HIS
INEFFABLE EFFABLE EFFANINEFFABLE
DEEP AND INSCRUTABLE SINGULAR NAME
NAME NAME NAME NAME NAME NAME

MUSICQ4: INVITATION TO THE JELLICLE BALL

Munkustrap: JELLICE CATS COME OUT TONIGHT

JELLICLE CATS COME ONE COME ALL
THE JELLICLE MOON IS SHINING BRIGHT
JELLICLES COME TO THE JELLICLE BALL
JELLICLE CATS COME OUT TONIGHT
JELLICLES COME TO THE JELLICLE BALL

Company: JELLICLE CATS COME OUT TONIGHT

JELLICLE CATS COME ONE COME ALL
THE JELLICLE MOON IS SHINING BRIGHT
JELLICLES COME TO THE JELLICLE BALL
JELLICLE CATS COME OUT TONIGHT
JELLICLES COME TO THE JELLICLE BALL

JELLICLE CATS ARE WHITE AND BLACK

JELLICLE CATS ARE OF MODERATE SIZE
JELLICLES JUMP LIKE JUMPING JACKS
JELLICLE CATS HAVE MOONLIT EYES

WE’RE QUIET ENOUGH IN THE MORNING HOURS

WE’RE QUIET ENOUGH IN THE AFTERNOON
RESERVING OUR TERPSICHOREAN POWERS
TO DANCE BY THE LIGHT OF THE JELLICLE MOON

Munkustrap: JELLICLE CATS MEET ONCE A YEAR

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 AT THE JELLICLE BALL WHERE WE ALL REJOICE AND THE
JELLICLE LEADER WILL SOON APPEAR
AND MAKE WHAT IS KNOWN AS THE JELLICLE CHOICE
WHEN OLD DEUTERONOMY JUST BEFORE DAWN
THROUGH A SILENCE YOU FEEL YOU COULD CUT WITH A KNIFE
ANNOUNCES THE CAT WHO CAN NOW BE REBORN
AND COME BACK TO A DIFFERENT JELLICLE LIFE
FOR WAITING UP THERE IS THE HEAVISIDE LAYER
FULL OF WONDERS ONE JELLICLE ONLY WILL SEE
AND JELLICLES ASK BECAUSE JELLICLES DARE:
WHO WILL IT BE?
Company: WHO WILL IT BE?

MUSICQ6: THE RUM TUM TUGGER

Company: THE RUM TUM TUGGER IS A CURIOUS CAT

Tugger: IF YOU OFFER ME PHEASANT, I’D RATHER HAVE GROUSE

IF YOU PUT ME IN A HOUSE, I WOULD MUCH PREFER A
FLAT
IF YOU PUT ME IN A FLAT, I WOULD RATHER HAVE A HOUSE
IF YOU SET ME ON A MOUSE, THEN I ONLY WANT A RAT
IF YOU SET ME ON A RAT, THEN I’D RATHER CHASE A
MOUSE
Company: THE RUM TUM TUGGER IS A CURIOUS CAT

Tugger: AND THERE ISN’T ANY NEED FOR ME TO SHOUT IT

Company: FOR HE WILL DO AS HE DO DO

Tugger: AND THERE’S NOTHING DOING ABOUT IT

Mistoffolees: THE RUM TUM TUGGER IS A TERRIBLE BORE

Tugger: WHEN YOU LET ME IN, THEN I WANT TO GO OUT

I’M ALWAYS ON THE WRONG SIDE OF EVERY DOOR
AND AS SOON AS I’M AT HOME, THEN I’D LIKE TO GET
ABOUT
I LIKE TO LIE IN THE BUREAU DRAWER
BUT I MAKE SUCH A FUSS IF I CAN’T GET OUT

Company: THE RUM TUM TUGGER IS A CURIOUS CAT

Tugger: AND THERE ISN’T ANY NEED FOR ME TO SHOUT IT

Company: FOR HE WILL DO AS HE DO DO

Tugger: AND THERE’S NOTHING DOING ABOUT IT

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Company: THE RUM TUM TUGGER IS A CURIOUS BEAST

Tugger: MY DISOBLIGING WAYS ARE A MATTER OF HABIT

IF YOU OFFER ME FISH, THEN I ALWAYS WANT A FEAST
WHEN THERE ISN’T ANY FISH, THEN I WON’T EAT RABBIT
IF YOU OFFER ME CREAM, THEN I SNIFF AND SNEER
FOR I ONLY LIKE WHAT I FIND FOR MYSELF
SO YOU’LL CATCH ME IN IT RIGHT UP TO MY EARS
IF YOU PUT IT AWAY ON THE LARDER SHELF
Company: THE RUM TUM TUGGER IS ARTFUL AND KNOWING
THE RUM TUM TUGGER DOESN’T CARE FOR A CUDDLE

Tugger: BUT I’LL LEAP UPON YOUR LAP IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR
SEWING
FOR THERE’S NOTHING I ENJOY LIKE A HORRIBLE MUDDLE!

Company: THE RUM TUM TUGGER IS A CURIOUS CAT

THE RUM TUM TUGGER

Tugger: DOESN’T CARE FOR A CUDDLE

Company: THE RUM TUM TUGGER IS A CURIOUS CAT

Tugger: AND THERE ISN’T ANY NEED FOR ME TO SHOUT IT

Company: FOR HE WILL DO AS HE DO DO

Tugger: AND THERE’S NOTHING DOING ABOUT IT

MUSICQ7: GRIZABELLA THE GLAMOUR CAT

Grizabella: REMARK THE CAT WHO HESITATES TOWARD YOU

IN THE LIGHT OF THE DOOR WHICH OPENS ON HER LIKE A
GRIN
YOU SEE THE BORDER OF HER COAT
IS TORN AND STAINED WITH SAND
AND YOU SEE THE CORNER OF HER EYE
TWIST LIKE A CROOKED PIN

Demeter: SHE HAUNTED MANY A LOW RESORT

NEAR THE GRIMY ROAD OF TOTTENHAM COURT
SHE FLITTED ABOUT THE NO MAN’S LAND
FROM ‘THE RISING SUN’ TO ‘THE FRIEND AT HAND’
AND THE POSTMAN SIGHED AS HE SCRATCHED HIS HEAD
‘YOU REALLY HAD THOUGHT SHE’D OUGHT TO BE DEAD
AND WHO WOULD EVER SUPPOSE THAT THAT
WAS GRIZABELLA, THE GLAMOUR CAT?

Bombalurina: GRIZABELLA, THE GLAMOUR CAT

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Bombalurina
+ Demeter: GRIZABELLA, THE GLAMOUR CAT

Company: WHO WOULD EVER SUPPOSE THAT THAT

WAS GRIZABELLA, THE GLAMOUR CAT?

MUSICQ10: OLD DEUTERONOMY

Tantomile: I BELIEVE IT IS OLD DEUTERONOMY

Company: WELL OF ALL THINGS! CAN IT BE, REALLY!

YES NO HO HI! OH MY EYE!
MY MIND MAY BE WANDERING BUT I CONFESS
I BELIEVE IT IS OLD DEUTERONOMY

Munkustrap: OLD DEUTERONOMY’S LIVED A LONG TIME

HE’S A CAT WHO HAS LIVED MANY LIVES IN SUCCESSION
HE WAS FAMOUS IN PROVERB AND FAMOUS IN RHYME
A LONG WHILE BEFORE QUEEN VICTORIA’S ACCESSION

Tugger: OLD DEUTERONOMY’S BURIED NINE WIVES

AND MORE I AM TEMPTED TO SAY NINETY-NINE
AND HIS NUMEROUS PROGENY PROSPERS AND THRIVES
AND THE VILLAGE IS PROUD OF HIM IN HIS DECLINE

Munkustrap: AT THE SIGHT OF THAT PLACID AND BLAND PHYSIOGNOMY WHEN HE

SITS IN THE SUN ON THE VICARAGE WALL
THE OLDEST INHABITANT CROAKS,

Munkustrap
+ Tugger: WELL OF ALL THINGS! CAN IT BE, REALLY!
YES NO HO HI! OH MY EYE!
MY MIND MAY BE WANDERING BUT I CONFESS
I BELIEVE IT IS OLD DEUTERONOMY

Asparagus: OLD DEUTERONOMY SITS IN THE STREET

HE SITS IN THE HIGH STREET ON MARKET DAY
THE BULLOCKS MAY BELLOW, THE SHEEP THEY MAY BLEAT
BUT THE DOGS AND THE HERDSMEN WILL TURN THEM AWAY

Munkustrap
+ Asparagus: THE CARS AND THE LORRIES RUN OVER THE CURB
AND THE VILLAGERS PUT UP A NOTICE: ‘ROAD CLOSED’
SO THAT NOTHING UNTOWARD MAY CHANCE TO
DISTURB
DEUTERONOMY’S REST WHEN HE FEELS SO DISPOSED
THE DIGESTIVE REPOSE OF THAT FELINE’S
GASTRONOMY
MUST NEVER BE BROKEN, WHATEVER BEFALL
AND THE OLDEST INHABITANT CROAKS,

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 Company: WELL OF ALL THINGS! CAN IT BE, REALLY!
YES NO HO HI! OH MY EYE!
MY MIND MAY BE WANDERING BUT I CONFESS
I BELIEVE IT IS OLD DEUTERONOMY

WELL OF ALL THINGS! CAN IT BE, REALLY!

YES NO HO HI! OH MY EYE!
MY MIND MAY BE WANDERING BUT I CONFESS
I BELIEVE IT IS OLD DEUTERONOMY

Deut: MY LEGS MAY BE TOTTERY, I MUST GO SLOW

AND BE CAREFUL OF OLD DEUTERONOMY!

POLLICLE DOGS AND CATS ALL MUST

JELLICLE CATS AND DOGS ALL MUST
LIKE UNDERTAKERS, COME TO DUST

Munkustrap: JELLICLE CATS MEET ONCE A YEAR

ON THE NIGHT WHEN WE MAKE THE JELLICLE CHOICE
AND NOW THAT THE JELLICLE LEADER IS HERE
JELLICLE CATS CAN ALL REJOICE!

MUSICQ12: THE SONG OF THE JELLICLES/JELLICLE BALL

Deut: JELLICLE CATS COME OUT TONIGHT

Deut, Victoria
+ Sillabub: JELLICLE CATS COME ONE, COME ALL

Deut, Victoria Sillabub +

Munkustrap: THE JELLICLE MOON IS SHINING BRIGHT
JELLICLES COME TO THE JELLICLE BALL

Alonzo: JELLICLE CATS ARE BLACK AND WHITE

JELLICLE CATS ARE RATHER SMALL

Victoria
+ Sillabub: JELLICLE CATS ARE MERRY AND BRIGHT
AND PLEASANT TO HEAR WHEN WE
CATERWAUL
Skimbles: JELLICLE CATS HAVE CHEERFUL FACES

Pouncival: JELLICLE CATS HAVE BRIGHT BLACK EYES

Tantomile
+ Coricopat: WE LIKE TO PRACTICE OUR AIRS AND GRACES

Company: AND WAIT FOR THE JELLICLE MOON TO RISE

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Munkustrap, Alonzo +
Plato: JELLICLE CATS DEVELOP SLOWLY
Tumblebrute: JELLICLE CATS ARE NOT TOO BIG

Asparagus: JELLICLE CATS ARE ROLY-POLY

Mistoffelees, Skimbles +
Pouncival: WE KNOW HOW TO DANCE A GAVOTTE AND A JIG

Demeter: UNTIL THE JELLICLE MOON APPEARS

Bombalurina: WE MAKE OUR TOILETTE AND TAKE OUR REPOSE

Jellylorum: JELLICLES WASH BEHIND THEIR EARS

Jennyany: JELLICLES DRY BETWEEN THEIR TOES

Tantomile
+ Coricopat: JELLICLE CATS ARE WHITE AND BLACK

Rumple: JELLICLE CATS ARE OF MODERATE SIZE

Skimbles
+ Pouncival: JELLICLES JUMP LIKE A JUMPING JACK

Cassandra: JELLICLE CATS HAVE MOONLIT EYES

Company: WE'RE QUIET ENOUGH IN THE MORNING HOURS

WE'RE QUIET ENOUGH IN THE AFTERNOON

Mistofeelees +
Munkustrap: RESERVING OUR TERPSICHOREAN POWERS

Company: TO DANCE BY THE LIGHT OF THE JELLICLE MOON

Plato: JELLICLE CATS ARE BLACK

Victoria, Sillabub + Rumple: AND WHITE

Skimbles, Pouncival +
Mistofeelees: JELLICLE CATS, AS WE SAID, ARE SMALL

Munkustrap, Alonzo +
Plato: IF IT HAPPENS TO BE A STORMY NIGHT

Skimbles, Pouncival +
Mistofeelees: WE WILL PRACTICE A CAPER OR TWO IN THE HALL

Company: IF IT HAPPENS THE SUN IS SHINING BRIGHT

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 Tugger: YOU WOULD SAY WE HAD NOTHING TO DO AT ALL
Company: WE ARE RESTING AND SAVING OURSELVES TO BE
RIGHT
FOR THE JELLICLE MOON AND THE JELLICLE BALL
JELLICLE CATS COME OUT TONIGHT
JELLICLE CATS COME ONE, COME ALL
THE JELLICLE MOON IS SHINING BRIGHT
JELLICLES COME TO THE JELLICLE BALL

Here follows ‘The Jellicle Ball’. Big dance sequence.

MUSICQ13: MEMORY

Jellylorum: YOU SEE THE BORDER OF HER COAT IS TORN

AND STAINED WITH SAND

Sillabub: YOU SEE THE CORNER OF HER EYE

TWIST LIKE A CROOKED PIN

Grizabella: SILENCE, NOT A SOUND FROM THE PAVEMENT

HAS THE MOON LOST HER MEMORY?
SHE IS SMILING ALONE
IN THE LAMPLIGHT THE WITHERED LEAVES COLLECT AT MY
FEET AND THE WIND BEGINS TO MOAN

EVERY STREET LAMP SEEMS TO BEAT A FATALISTIC WARNING

SOMEONE MUTTERS AND THE STREET LAMP GUTTERS
AND SOON IT WILL BE MORNING

MEMORY, ALL ALONE IN THE MOONLIGHT

I CAN SMILE AT THE OLD DAYS
I WAS BEAUTIFUL THEN
I REMEMBER THE TIME I KNEW WHAT HAPPINESS WAS
LET THE MEMORY LIVE AGAIN

End of Act 1

ACT TWO –
‘Why Will The Summer Day Delay, When Will Time Flow Away’
MUSICQ14: THE MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS

Deut: THE MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS

WE HAD THE EXPERIENCE BUT MISSED THE MEANING
AND APPROACH TO THE MEANING RESTORES THE EXPERIENCE
IN A DIFFERENT FORM BEYOND ANY MEANING
WE CAN ASSIGN TO HAPPINESS
THE PAST EXPERIENCE REVIVED IN THE MEANING

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 IS NOT THE EXPERIENCE OF ONE LIFE ONLY
BUT OF MANY GENERATIONS
NOT FORGETTING SOMETHING THAT IS PROBABLY QUITE INEFFABLE

MUSICQ15: MEMORY REPRISE

Sillabub: MOONLIGHT, TURN YOUR FACE TO THE MOONLIGHT

LET YOUR MEMORY LEAD YOU
OPEN UP, ENTER IN
IF YOU FIND THERE THE MEANING OF WHAT HAPPINESS
IS
THEN A NEW LIFE WILL BEGIN

Company: MOONLIGHT, TURN YOUR FACE TO THE MOONLIGHT

LET YOUR MEMORY LEAD YOU
OPEN UP, ENTER IN
IF YOU FIND THERE THE MEANING OF WHAT HAPPINESS
IS
THEN A NEW LIFE WILL BEGIN

MUSICQ19: MACAVITY!

Demeter: MACAVITY!

MACAVITY'S A MYSTERY CAT, HE'S CALLED THE HIDDEN PAW

FOR HE'S A MASTER CRIMINAL WHO CAN DEFY THE LAW
HE'S THE BAFFLEMENT OF SCOTLAND YARD,
THE FLYING SQUAD'S DESPAIR
FOR WHEN THEY REACH THE SCENE OF CRIME
MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
MACAVITY, MACAVITY, THERE'S NO ONE LIKE MACAVITY
HE'S BROKEN EVERY HUMAN LAW, HE BREAKS THE LAW OF GRAVITY
HIS POWERS OF LEVITATION WOULD MAKE A FAKIR STARE
AND WHEN YOU REACH THE SCENE OF CRIME
MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
YOU MAY SEEK HIM IN THE BASEMENT, YOU MAY LOOK UP IN THE
AIR BUT I TELL YOU ONCE AND ONCE AGAIN MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

Bombalurina: MACAVITY'S A GINGER CAT, HE'S VERY TALL AND THIN

YOU WOULD KNOW HIM IF YOU SAW HIM
FOR HIS EYES ARE SUNKEN IN
HIS BROW IS DEEPLY LINED IN THOUGHT,
HIS HEAD IS HIGHLY DOMED
HIS COAT IS DUSTY FROM NEGLECT, HIS WHISKERS ARE UNCOMBED
HE SWAYS HIS HEAD FROM SIDE TO SIDE
WITH MOVEMENTS LIKE A SNAKE AND
WHEN YOU THINK HE'S HALF-ASLEEP,
HE'S ALWAYS WIDE-AWAKE!
MACAVITY, MACAVITY, THERE'S NO ONE LIKE MACAVITY
HE'S A FIEND IN FELINE SHAPE, A MONSTER OF DEPRAVITY

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 YOU MAY MEET HIM IN A BY-STREET,
YOU MAY SEE HIM IN THE SQUARE
BUT WHEN A CRIME'S DISCOVERED THEN MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!

Demeter: HE’S OUTWARDLY RESPECTABLE

Bombalurina: I KNOW HE CHEATS AT CARDS

Demeter: AND HIS FOOTPRINTS ARE NOT FOUND

IN ANY FILE OF SCOTLAND YARD’S

Bombalurina: AND WHEN THE LARDER'S LOOTED

Demeter: OR THE JEWEL CASE IS RIFLED
Bombalurina: OR WHEN THE MILK IS MISSING
Demeter: OR ANOTHER PEKE'S BEEN STIFLED
Bombalurina:OR THE GREENHOUSE GLASS IS BROKEN
AND THE TRELLIS PAST REPAIR
Bombalurina + Demeter:THERE'S THE WONDER OF THE THING
MACAVITY'S NOT THERE!
MACAVITY, MACAVITY
THERE'S NO ONE LIKE MACAVITY
THERE NEVER WAS A CAT OF SUCH DECEITFULNESS
AND SUAVITY HE ALWAYS HAS AN ALIBI
AND ONE OR TWO TO SPARE
WHATEVER TIME THE DEED TOOK PLACE
MACAVITY W ASN'T THERE
AND THEY SAY THAT ALL THE CATS
WHOSE WICKED DEEDS ARE WIDELY KNOWN
I MIGHT MENTION MUNGOJERRIE
YOU SENT
I MIGHT MENTION GRIDDLEBONE
ARE NOTHING MORE THAN AGENTS
FOR THE CAT WHO ALL THE TIME
JUST CONTROLS THE OPERATIONS
THE NAPOLEON OF CRIME!
MACAVITY, MACAVITY
THERE'S NO ONE LIKE MACAVITY
HE'S A FIEND IN FELINE SHAPE
A MONSTER OF DEPRAVITY
YOU MAY MEET HIM IN A BY-STREET
YOU MAY SEE HIM IN THE SQUARE
BUT WHEN A CRIME'S DISCOVERED
THEN MACAVITY
MACAVITY
MACAVITY
MACAVITY
WHEN A CRIME'S DISCOVERED
THEN MACAVITY'S NOT THERE

(MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) (OLD DEUTORONOMY APPEARS)

(SINISTER LAUGHTER)

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 (CATS) MACAVITY!
(CATS WHISPER)

MACAVITY'S NOT THERE.

WE HAVE TO FIND
OLD DEUTERONOMY

Rum Tum Tugger: YOU OUGHT TO ASK

MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES
THE ORIGINAL CONJURING CAT
THERE CAN BE NO DOUBT ABOUT
THAT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME
AND DON'T SCOFF
ALL HIS INVENTIONS
ARE OFF HIS OWN BAT
THERE'S NO SUCH CAT IN THE
METROPOLIS HE HOLDS ALL THE PATENT
MONOPOLIES FOR PERFORMING SURPRISING
ILLUSIONS AND CREATING ECCENTRIC
CONFUSIONS THE GREATEST MAGICIANS
HAVE SOMETHING TO LEARN
FROM MR MISTOFFELEES'
CONJURING TURN
AND WE ALL SAY
OH! WELL, I NEVER
YOU SENT
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES
HE IS QUIET, HE IS SMALL,
HE IS BLACK, FROM HIS EARS
TO THE TIP OF HIS TAIL
HE CAN CREEP, THROUGH THE TINIEST CRACK
HE CAN WALK ON THE NARROWEST RAIL
HE CAN PICK ANY CARD FROM THE PACK
HE'S EQUALLY CUNNING WITH DICE
HE'S ALWAYS DECEIVING YOU
INTO BELIEVING, THAT HE'S ONLY HUNTING FOR MICE
HE CAN PLAY ANY TRICK WITH A CORK
OR A SPOON AND A BIT OF FISH PASTE
IF YOU LOOK FOR A KNIFE OR A FORK
AND YOU THINK, THAT IT'S MERELY MISPLACED
YOU HAVE SEEN IT ONE MOMENT
BUT THEN IT IS GONE
BUT YOU FIND IT NEXT WEEK
LAYING OUT ON THE LAWN
AND WE ALL SAY
OH! WELL, I NEVER WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES
PRESTO!
OH! WELL, I NEVER
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER

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 AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES
OH! WELL, I NEVER
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES
HIS MANNER IS VAGUE AND ALOOF
AND YOU WOULD THINK
THERE WAS NOBODY SHYER
BUT HIS VOICE CAN BE
HEARD ON THE ROOF
WHILE HE WAS CURLED UP BY THE FIRE
AND HE'S SOMETIMES
BEEN HEARD BY THE FIRE
YOU SENT
WHILE HE WAS ABOUT ON THE ROOF
AT LEAST WE ALL HEARD THAT SOMEBODY PURRED
WHICH IS INCONTESTABLE PROOF
OF HIS SINGULAR MAGICAL POWERS
AND I'VE KNOWN THE FAMILY TO CALL
HIM IN FROM THE GARDEN FOR HOURS
WHILE HE WAS ASLEEP IN THE HALL
AND NOT LONG AGO
THIS PHENOMENAL CAT
PRODUCED SEVEN KITTENS
RIGHT OUT OF A HAT
AND WE ALL SAY
OH! WELL, I NEVER
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES...

(LAUGHTER)

Rum Tum Tugger: MAGICAL!

AND NOT LONG AGO,
THIS PHENOMENAL CAT
PRODUCED SEVEN KITTENS RIGHT OUT OF A HAT...

(DRUM ROLL)
(DRUM ROLL)
(CATS GASP) (Old Deutoronomy resurrects)

AND WE ALL SAY

OH! WELL, I NEVER
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES
OH! WELL, I NEVER
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES
OH! WELL, I NEVER
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES...

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 MYSTICAL!
OH! WELL, I NEVER
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER...
MAGICAL! MYSTICAL!
OH! WELL, I NEVER
WAS THERE EVER A CAT SO CLEVER
AS MAGICAL MR MISTOFFELEES
YOU SENT
I GIVE YOU THE MAGICAL...
THE MARVELLOUS... MR
MISTOFFELEES!

Sillabub: DAYLIGHT
SEE THE DEW ON A SUNFLOWER
AND A ROSE THAT IS FADING
ROSES WITHER AWAY
LIKE THE SUNFLOWER
I YEARN TO TURN MY FACE TO THE
DAWN I AM WAITING
FOR THE DAY...
Munkustrap: NOW OLD DEUTERONOMY
JUST BEFORE DAWN
THROUGH A SILENCE YOU FEEL
YOU COULD CUT WITH A KNIFE
ANNOUNCES THE CAT
WHO CAN NOW BE REBORN
AND COME BACK TO A DIFFERENT
JELLICLE LIFE (GRIZABELLA APPEARS)

MEMORY REPRISE

Grizabella: MEMORY
TURN YOUR FACE TO THE
MOONLIGHT LET YOUR MEMORY LEAD YOU
OPEN UP, ENTER IN IF YOU FIND THERE
THE MEANING OF WHAT HAPPINESS
IS THEN A NEW LIFE WILL BEGIN
MEMORY
ALL ALONE IN THE MOONLIGHT, I CAN SMILE AT THE OLD DAYS
I WAS BEAUTIFUL THEN
I REMEMBER
A TIME I KNEW WHAT HAPPINESS WAS LET THE MEMORY
LIVE AGAIN
BURNT OUT ENDS OF SMOKY DAYS
THE STALE COLD SMELL OF MORNING
THE STREET LAMP DIES
ANOTHER NIGHT IS OVER ANOTHER DAY IS DAWNING
DAYLIGHT YOU SENT
I MUST WAIT FOR THE SUNRISE
I MUST THINK OF THE NEW LIFE
AND I MUSTN'T GIVE IN

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 WHEN THE DAWN COMES
TONIGHT WILL BE A MEMORY, TOO
AND THE NEW DAY WILL BEGIN
SUNLIGHT THROUGH THE TREES
IN SUMMER, ENDLESS MASQUERADING
LIKE A FLOWER AS THE DAWN IS BREAKING
THE MEMORY IS FADING
TOUCH ME
IT'S SO EASY TO LEAVE ME
ALL ALONE WITH THE MEMORY
OF MY DAYS IN THE SUN
IF YOU TOUCH ME
YOU'LL UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPINESS IS
LOOK, A NEW DAY
HAS BEGUN

JOURNEY TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER

Company: UP UP UP, PAST THE RUSSELL HOTEL

UP UP UP UP, TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER
UP UP UP, PAST THE RUSSELL HOTEL
UP UP UP UP, TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER
UP UP UP, PAST THE RUSSELL HOTEL
UP UP UP UP, TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER
UP UP UP, PAST THE RUSSELL HOTEL
UP UP UP UP, TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER
UP UP UP, PAST THE JELLICLE MOON
UP UP UP UP, TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER
UP UP UP, PAST THE JELLICLE MOON
UP UP UP UP, TO THE HEAVISIDE LAYER
THE MYSTICAL DIVINITY OF UNASHAMED FELINITY
ROUND THE CATHEDRAL
RANG VIVAT
LIFE TO THE EVERLASTING
CAT

THE AD-DRESSING OF THE CATS

Old Deutoronomy: YOU'VE HEARD OF SEVERAL KINDS OF CAT

AND MY OPINION NOW IS THAT
YOU SHOULD NEED NO INTERPRETER
TO UNDERSTAND OUR CHARACTER
YOU'VE LEARNED ENOUGH TO TAKE THE VIEW
THAT CATS ARE VERY MUCH LIKE
YOU YOU'VE SEEN US BOTH AT WORK AND GAMES
AND LEARNT ABOUT OUR PROPER NAMES
OUR HABITS AND OUR HABITAT
BUT HOW WOULD YOU ADDRESS A CAT?
SO FIRST, YOUR MEMORY I'LL JOG
AND SAY A CAT IS NOT A DOG
SO FIRST

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 YOUR MEMORY I'LL JOG
AND SAY A CAT
IS NOT A DOG
WITH CATS, SOME SAY ONE RULE IS TRUE
DON'T SPEAK TILL YOU
ARE SPOKEN TO MYSELF, I DO NOT HOLD WITH THAT
I SAY YOU SHOULD ADDRESS A CAT
BUT ALWAYS KEEP IN MIND THAT HE
RESENTS FAMILIARITY
YOU BOW, AND TAKING OFF YOUR HAT
ADDRESS HIM IN THIS FORM
"OH, CAT!"
BEFORE A CAT WILL CONDESCEND
TO TREAT YOU AS A TRUSTED
FRIEND SOME LITTLE TOKEN OF
ESTEEM
IS NEEDED, LIKE A DISH OF CREAM
AND YOU MIGHT NOW AND THEN SUPPLY
SOME CAVIAR OR STRASSBURG PIE
SOME POTTED GROUSE OR SALMON
PASTE HE'S SURE TO HAVE
HIS PERSONAL TASTE
AND SO IN TIME YOU REACH YOUR AIM
AND CALL HIM
BY HIS NAME

Company: A CAT'S ENTITLED TO EXPECT

THESE EVIDENCES OF RESPECT
SO THIS IS THIS
AND THAT IS THAT
AND THERE'S HOW YOU ADDRESS A CAT
A CAT'S ENTITLED TO EXPECT
THESE EVIDENCES OF RESPECT
SO THIS IS THIS
AND THAT IS THAT
AND THERE'S HOW YOU ADDRESS
A CAT

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