The Oxydent Hour of Smiles, for December 21, 1933
Annie: sings Maybe
Applause
Healy: “Thank you, Annie. Thannnk you, Annie. On
America’s favorite radio program, the Oxydent’s Hour
of Smiles, starring your old softy, Bert Healy.”
Applause
Annie: “Thank you, Bert Healy.”
Healy: “But still, remember folks…”
Wacky: “Smile, darn ya, smile.”
Healy: “Right, Wacky. Smile, darn ya, smile.”
SFX: door opens, Oliver Warbucks enters studio.
Wacky: “Say, who’s that who just walked into our WFEA
Studio?”
Johnson: “Why it’s none other than that wealthy
industrialist and Wall Street tycoon, Oliver
Warbucks.”
Applause
Page 9
The Oxydent Hour of Smiles, for December 21, 1933
Healy: “Good Evening, Oliver Warbucks, it’s nice of you
to drop by.”
Warbucks: “Good evening, Bert Healy. It’s nice to be
here.”
Healy: “Oliver Warbucks, I understand that you have
something to tell the folks at home about wonderful
little Annie here.”
Warbucks: “Yes. Annie is an eleven-year-old foundling
who was left by her parents on the steps of New
York’s Municipal Orphanage on the night of
December 31, 1922.”
Healy: “And aren’t you now conducting a coast-to-coast
nation-wide search for Annie’s parents?”
Warbucks: “Yes, Bert Healy, I am now conducting a coast-
to-coast nationwide search for Annie’s parents.
Furthermore, I’m offering a certified check for fifty
thousand dollars to any persons who can prove that
they are Annie’s parents.”
Annie (off mike): “Wow!”
Healy: “Fifty thousand dollars? Wow, Oliver Warbucks.”
Wacky: “Oh, boy-oh, boy-oh boy, fifty thousand
smackers.”
McCracken: “Shh, quiet Wacky, this is no joke.”
Page 10
The Oxydent Hour of Smiles, for December 21, 1933
Wacky: “I know, Mr. McCracken. Everything you say is
no joke. And you move your lips, too.”
Healy: “So, Annie’s parents, if you’re listenin’ in, write to
Oliver Warbucks care of this station, WFEA, New
York, or directly to him at …”
Warbucks: “At my home, Bert Healy. 987 Fifth Avenue,
New York, New York.”
Healy: “That’s 987 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York.
Thank you, Oliver Warbucks.”
Warbucks: “Thank you, Bert Healy. And I would also like
to take this opportunity to thank the makers of all-new
Oxydent Toothpaste, with miracle K-64 to fight bad
breath, for letting me appear here this evening. Good
night, Bert Healy.”
Healy: “Good night, Oliver Warbucks.”
Applause
Healy: “So, Annie’s parents, if you’re listenin’ in, there’s
fifty thousand dollars and a wonderful daughter
waiting for you.”
Wacky: “So get in touch right away, ya hear?”
Music: You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile
Page 11
The Oxydent Hour of Smiles, for December 21, 1933
Healy: “Well, I see by the old clock on the wall that
another of our Thursday-night get-togethers has gone
by faster than you can say Odydent.”
Boylan Sisters: “O X Y D E N T”
Healy: “The toothpaste of the stars. To make your teeth
Hollywood bright. So, for all of the Hour of Smiles
Family--Ronnie, Bonnie and Connie, the lovely
Boylan Sisters; Fred McCracken…”
Wacky: “And Wacky.”
Johnson: “And Jimmy Johnson, radio’s only masked
announcer.”
Healy: “This is Bert Healy saying…” sings You’re Never
Fully Dressed Without a Smile.
Boylan Sisters: sing Ready or Not
SFX: tap dancing
Healy: “Ah, the lovely Boylan Sisters.”
Boylan Sisters: sing You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a
Smile.
Healy: “Yes, this is your old softie, Mrs. Healy’s boy, Bert,
saying until next week, same time, same station, bon
soir, buenas noches, guten nacht, buona sera, and
gosh, I almost forgot, good night.”
Page 12
The Oxydent Hour of Smiles, for December 21, 1933
All: sing You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.
Page 13
