HOW CAN I TELL?

Children are our most

valuable natural resource. Herbert Hoover.

Tiaki O Mokopuna
A GUIDE TO
KEEPING
CHILDREN
SAFE

ISBN 978-0-473-12405-2. Eighth Edition 2019. www.childmatters.org.nz 3

 HOW CAN I TELL?

HOW CAN I TELL?

FOREWORD FOREWORD

Child Matters would like to thank

the NAR Foundation, whose generosity It is with real pleasure that I write the
foreword to this helpful little booklet,
The more I work in the
allows for this resource to be produced. which provides straightforward Youth Court, the more I
guidance regarding the indicators of am convinced that youth
child abuse and neglect.
The adult population There are many forms of child abuse. justice really “begins" at
As former Principal Youth Court Judge
does not own this planet. As a community, our first responsibility for New Zealand, dealing with 14, 15 infancy, if not from birth.
is to identify and stop every case
Rather, we hold it in trust before it becomes life-threatening and
and 16 year olds, it may well be asked
Physical and sexual abuse and neglect
why I am so supportive of this booklet,
for all future generations. life-scarring. Our greater responsibility experienced in those early years has
dealing as it does, with the recognition
is to stop child abuse from ever potentially disastrous consequences in
of abuse or potential abuse of children
happening. terms of positive life development.
rather than young people.
Every time an incident of It is for this reason that I am so
We all dream of making New Zealand The simple answer is that many of
child abuse happens, we a genuine safe haven for children. To our serious young offenders before
pleased to support this book,
predicated as it is on the basis that not
breach that trust. achieve this goal requires all adults the Youth Court share a history of
only do children require the care and
to take personal responsibility for longstanding physical and/or sexual
identifying, reporting and ultimately protection of the community and their
abuse and/or neglect.
stopping all forms of child abuse. This families, but that they are our most
is our responsibility as individuals and In November 2006, 27% of youth precious resource. Indeed, they are our
as a nation. offenders remanded to residential future. The avoidance of child abuse
youth justice institutions in New and neglect, and an individual and
Our problem is not a desire to act, Zealand were the subject of existing communitarian commitment to stamp
but often a lack of understanding care and protection orders and were in it out, whenever it is recognised, would
and ability to recognise child abuse, the custody of Child,Youth and Family have huge long-term benefits, not only
particularly in its early stages. For all because of past parental abuse for the individuals concerned, but for
adults, the key issue is how to identify and neglect. our country.
actual cases in their earliest stages and
what action to then take. It seems to me, and to other Youth As a thought provoking Indian observes:
Court Judges, that there is a clear To plan for a year – sow a rice paddy field
This booklet provides that information. link between childhood ill-treatment, To plan for a decade – plant trees
In simple language it outlines the key abuse and later adverse life outcomes, To plan for a future – nurture youth
indicators of child abuse and then including the risk of criminal offending.
deciding what action to take. Judge Becroft
Former Principal Youth Court Judge 2001-2015
Please take the time to read Children’s Commissioner 2016 –

this important information.

Neil A. Richardson
MC, JD, JP
NAR Foundation

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 HOW CAN I TELL?

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Contents Indicators of
CHILD ABUSE & NEGLECT
It is not always easy to recognise that Adults have a duty to
a child is being harmed, or is at risk, so

7 Indicators of child abuse and neglect abuse often goes undetected. Adults
may deny or attempt to justify their
protect children.
Children require the care and
abusive behaviour.
protection of the community as well
9 Taking action and reporting suspected abuse Indicators, when found either on their
own or in various combinations, point
as their families. Children are our most
precious resource – they are our future.
to possible abuse, family violence As adult members of society we have

12 Physical abuse or neglect. a moral duty to protect children and

intervene when they need our help.
Indicators can be physical When abuse is suspected, concerns

17 Sexual abuse or behavioural.

should always be reported.
Although there is no legal
Physical indicators – such as requirement to do so, those who

23 Neglect bruises or burns, relate to the

child’s physical condition.
work with, or care for children have
a responsibility to report suspected
Behavioural indicators – such child abuse. Most organisations have
agreed on procedures for their staff to
27 Emotional abuse as a child cringing or flinching if
touched unexpectedly, or a caregiver follow if they suspect abuse.
constantly calling a child ‘stupid’ or When a report or concern has been
‘dumb’, can be displayed by the child
31 Family Violence
made, it is the responsibility of
or by the alleged abuser. the Police and/or the Ministry for
In many cases indicators are found in Children, Oranga Tamariki to carry out
an investigation or assessment of the
32 What makes a child more vulnerable to abuse?
combinations or clusters.
indicators to determine the safety of
Indicators do not necessarily prove the child.
that a child has been harmed. They

34 About Child Matters are clues that alert us that abuse may
have occurred and that a child may
require help or protection.
Sometimes, indicators can result
from life events which do not
involve abuse. For example – divorce,
accidental injury, the arrival of new
sibling, etc.

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Children need you to
SPEAK UP FOR THEM TAKE ACTION
IT’S EVERYONE’S JOB TO HELP KEEP CHILDREN SAFE. STEP UP – Do something personally to help

Trust your instincts. If you are worried that a child is being harmed or that It can take just one person to make a real difference. By lending a hand or
they’re not being well looked after, don’t just hope someone else will speak a listening ear at an early stage you may prevent something more serious
up. You can do something to help. from occurring.

It’s not always easy and it takes courage. But don’t be afraid of getting it „„ Provide a listening ear
wrong. Instead, ask yourself, “What if I’m right?” „„ Give helpful or supportive information
„„ Explain that violence is not okay
„„ Talk it over with an experienced person
Children may need help in The importance of taking action
families and whānau where: when harm is suspected: „„ You can learn more about how to help at www.childmatters.org.nz.

„„ There is violence and controlling Often children do not disclose

behaviour from one adult towards that they are being harmed. They STEP OUT – Look for community support for the family
another, or to the children frequently suffer in silence, and many
It is important that families under stress get extra support when they need
„„ There is known drug-taking, drug experience repeated abuse. Most
it. If you are worried about a family, whānau or a child, you can help connect
manufacture, or drug dealing require help to recover from physical
them with support. There are a number of organisations that support children,
and emotional effects.
„„ There is excessive use families and whānau. You can find information about them in your local
of alcohol The common factor underlying all directory pages or on the Family Services directory online:
„„ Animals are harmed or neglected forms of child abuse is the abuse of
www.familyservices.govt.nz.
power or authority. Most often the
„„ Children are left alone, appear
abuser is a person who is known and A number of useful helplines and organisations are outlined on the back cover
neglected, or uncared for
trusted by the child. of this resource.
„„ There is a high focus on keeping
the family private or isolated and Or contact your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau for other agencies in your area.
detached from the community If in doubt, call the Ministry for Children, Oranga Tamariki
Prompt action or reporting of (0508 326 459) to seek advice.
In such a situation you may be suspected abuse may:
the key person who could make a
difference and keep a child safe. „„ Ensure that the abuse stops
„„ Protect children from
„„ Take action
further harm Children cannot stop child abuse.
„„ Do not look the other way
„„ Do not assume that someone else
„„ Ensure children receive
professional help as soon
Adults can.
has acted as possible
„„ Save a child’s life

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TAKE ACTION REPORTING
SPEAK UP – Report your concerns When to report Even if an assessment or investigation
does not go any further, the law
If you have any suspicions that a child is at risk of harm, report your concerns. It is best to report your suspicions
protects you if you supplied
immediately. The child may need
To report your concerns call: information in good faith.
immediate protection or medical
„„ Ministry for Children, Oranga Tamariki free on 0508 326 459, or attention. As well, there may be Remember, children have the right to
„„ Contact your local Police Station certain physical signs of abuse such be protected from harm. You don’t have
as bruising or scars, which could be to have conclusive proof, so even if you
Both agencies offer 24-hour service, so if you suspect that a child is at risk,
used as evidence. These may fade if are not quite sure, call the Ministry for
make that call regardless of the hour.
reporting is delayed. Children, Oranga Tamariki and discuss
Remember, if it’s an emergency and you suspect a child is at serious risk, or your concerns with one of their trained
It is a good idea to keep a written
a crime against a child has been committed, REPORT IT! social workers.
record of all telephone calls, letters
and conversations. When reporting
What happens after I make
what a child has said, it is essential a report?
In an emergency call 111 and ask for Police to give the exact words a child uses.
Include dates, times and observations You can expect confirmation of your
in your notes. report of concern, and to be advised

REPORTING Will my report be kept

of the outcome. You have the right
to contact the social worker or their
anonymous? supervisor if you are not satisfied.
A report can be made anonymously. For more detailed information look
What to report
However, there are almost always very on the Ministry for Children, Oranga
Your suspicions may include:
You should report suspected abuse. good reasons for identifying yourself. Tamariki website www.mvcot.govt.nz.
This means reporting any suspicion „„ What you saw The Ministry for Children, Oranga
that a child has been or is being „„ What you heard Tamariki needs to ensure that the
abused. information is credible and they may
„„ What the child told you
need to speak with you again. You can
You do not need to have proof of „„ What someone else told you request your details are not released
abuse before reporting. It is the
and are made confidential.
responsibility of the authorities
to investigate the situation and
What if I make a mistake?
determine the child’s safety and
wellbeing. You can call the Ministry Many people decide not to act
for Children, Oranga Tamariki on through fear of being wrong. They
0508 326 459 to discuss your may be afraid of repercussions, being
concerns any time. thought insensitive, of breaking
confidence, or of being disloyal.

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What is
PHYSICAL ABUSE? PHYSICAL ABUSE
PHYSICAL INDICATORS OF PHYSICAL ABUSE – CHILD
Physical abuse is a non-accidental Although the injury may be
act on a child that results in non-accidental, the caregiver may
physical harm. not have intended to hurt the child UNEXPLAINED BRUISES, WELTS, CUTS, ABRASIONS
– e.g. the injury may have resulted Suspicious locations include:
Ways in which children can be
from over-discipline inappropriate to Face, lips, gums, mouth, eyes, ears
physically abused can include
the child’s age or condition, or the
smacking, punching, beating, kicking, Torso, back, buttocks, back of legs, external genitalia
result of unintentional anger or rage.
shaking, biting, burning or throwing
Shapes of suspicious injuries:
the child. Physical abuse may also The injuries to the child may vary
result from excessive or inappropriate in severity and range from minor Clustered, form regular patterns
discipline, or violence within the family. bruising, burns, welts, or bite marks, Teeth marks, hand prints, fingertips
fractured or broken bones, to its most
Physical abuse may be the result of A recognisable imprint left by a hand, belt or other item
extreme form, the death of a child.
a single episode, or of a series UNEXPLAINED BURNS
of episodes.
Small circular burns particularly on soles of feet,
palms of hands, buttocks
Immersion burns – where a part of the child’s body has been placed or
held in hot water
Remember:
Burns showing a distinct pattern or outline where a
Indicators do not necessarily prove should be viewed in the context of part of the child’s body has been held against a hot
that a child has been abused. They the child’s whole situation, and in object like a stove, or an iron
are clues that alert us that abuse relation to other indicators.
may have occurred and that a child Rope burns on arms, legs, neck, torso
It is important to remember that it
may require help or protection. The UNEXPLAINED FRACTURES OR DISLOCATIONS
is the responsibility of the Ministry
more knowledge we have, the more Skull, facial bones, spinal fractures,
for Children, Oranga Tamariki, or
likely we are to pick up these clues dislocations, particularly of hip or shoulders
Police to conduct an assessment or
and understand their significance.
investigation of the indicators to Multiple fractures at different stages of healing
Many signs could well be the results determine their cause.
Fractures in very young children (those who are not walking)
of something other than abuse and
Bald patches on scalp resulting from hair pulling

We must not overlook, ignore,

or condone violence to children.

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PHYSICAL ABUSE PHYSICAL ABUSE
CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE ADULT BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE PHYSICAL ABUSE
PHYSICAL ABUSE

Cannot recall how the injuries occurred, May be vague about details of the cause of injury, and the account
or offers inconsistent explanations. of the injury may change from time to time.
Is wary of adults, or of a particular individual. May appear unconcerned about child’s well-being.
May cringe or flinch if touched unexpectedly. May blame the accident on a sibling, friend, or relative, or on the
May display a vacant stare, or frozen watchfulness. injured child.

May be extremely aggressive, or extremely withdrawn. May provide an explanation which is not believable given the child’s
age, or the nature of the child’s injuries.
Displays indiscriminate affection-seeking behaviour.
For example, goes readily to strangers for nurturing. If more than one parent or caregiver claims to have been present at
the accident or time of injury, there may be disagreement as to how
May be compliant or eager to please. it happened.
Tries to take care of, or protect the parents or caregiver. May state that the child is prone to injuries, or always lies about how
When at play, imitates negative behaviour or language e.g. smacks or injuries occur.
yells at a doll. May have little or no knowledge of child development, or may have
Frequently behaves in a way that provokes punishment. unrealistic expectations about the child.
Is dressed inappropriately to hide bruises or other injuries (e.g. long May delay in seeking medical attention for the child.
sleeved shirt or pants in summer). Shakes a child.
Runs away from home, or is afraid to go home. Threatens or attempts to injure the child.
Describes abusive situations. Is aggressive or violent towards other family members.
May regress e.g. bed wetting. Is aggressive towards the child in front of others.
May indicate a general sadness. May show this in drawing and play.
Is violent to animals or other children.

On average, a child is killed in

Our goal is for a community where New Zealand approximately
everyone looks out for children. every 5 weeks.

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Sexual abuse is an act or acts that result in the
sexual exploitation of a child or young person,
whether consensual or not. What is
SEXUAL ABUSE?
Sexual abuse is an act or acts that Early warning signs
result in the sexual exploitation of
Children can be alerted to possible
a child or young person, whether
sexual abuse grooming. They should
consensual or not.*
be encouraged to tell an adult if
Sexual abuse can be committed by a someone:
relative, a trusted friend, an associate,
„„ Asks them to do things in private
or someone unknown to the child.
that involve physical contact –
Most sexual abuse is perpetrated by
backrubs, massages, etc.
someone the child knows and trusts,
such as a caregiver, a family friend, or „„ Looks at or touches their body
someone in a position of authority saying it is to “see how they are
like a school teacher, sports coach developing...”
or church member. „„ “Accidentally” touches or brushes
up against their body
Examples of sexual abuse include:
„„ Comes into their bedroom
„„ Any touching for sexual purpose or bathroom when they are
„„ Fondling of breasts, buttocks, undressed
genitals „„ Says sexual things about their
„„ Oral sex body, or how they dress, either
„„ Sexual intercourse – anal or directly, or by phone or internet
vaginal „„ Comes into their bedroom at
„„ The adult exposing themselves to night
the child „„ Asks them to keep any of these
„„ Voyeurism and exhibitionism things a secret
„„ Use of internet, text messages „„ Makes them feel uncomfortable
and social media to initiate sexual
conversations with a child
Sexual abuse also includes situations
Remember:
where the adult seeks to have the Indicators do not necessarily
child touch them for a sexual purpose, prove that a child has been
and where they involve the child in abused. They are clues that
pornographic activities or prostitution. alert us that abuse may have
occurred and that a child may
*
Fanslow, J.L. 2002. Family Violence Intervention
Guidelines: Child and Partner Abuse. Ministry of
require help or protection.
Health, Wellington.

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SEXUAL ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE
PHYSICAL INDICATORS OF SEXUAL ABUSE – CHILD YOUNG CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE
SEXUAL ABUSE

Unusual or excessive itching, or pain in the genital or anal area. Age-inappropriate sexual play with toys, self, others,
Torn, stained, or bloody underclothing. e.g. demonstration of explicit sexual acts.

Bruises, lacerations, redness, swelling or bleeding in genital, vaginal or Age-inappropriate, sexually-explicit drawings or descriptions.
anal area. Bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge.
Blood in urine or stools. Refuses to go home, or to home of relative or friend for
Pain experienced in urination or elimination. no apparent reason.

Sexually transmitted disease. States that they have been abused, or describes activities which are
sexually abusive, or hints about such activities.
Pregnancy.
Comments such as, “I’ve got a secret”, or, “I don’t like Uncle”.
Fear of certain people, or of a particular person.
Fear of certain places (e.g. bathroom, bedroom).
Regression to an earlier stage of play and development.
Sexual abuse affects children, women and Fire lighting, particularly by boys.

men of any ethnicity, religion, educational

background or socio-economic status.

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SEXUAL ABUSE SEXUAL ABUSE
OLDER CHILDREN'S BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE ADULT BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE SEXUAL ABUSE
SEXUAL ABUSE

Age-inappropriate play, or sexually-explicit drawings May be unusually over-protective of the child.

or descriptions. Is jealous of the child’s relationships with peers or other
Bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge. adults, or is controlling of the child.
Refuses to go home, or to home of relative or friend for no Discourages the child from unsupervised contact with peers.
apparent reason. Accuses the child of being sexually provocative.
Recurring physical complaints without physiological basis (abdominal Misuses alcohol or drugs.
pain, headaches, sore throat, nausea, etc.).
Invades the child’s privacy – e.g. during dressing, when in bathroom, etc.
Fear of a particular area of house, a particular family member,
or is afraid of being left alone with a person of a particular sex. Demonstrates physical contact or affection to the child which appears
sexual in nature, or has sexual overtones.
May suffer from depression, withdrawal.
Displays an inappropriate relationship with the child. For example,
Engages in self-destructive behaviour, e.g. suicidal feelings or treats the child as a ‘partner’ or ‘girlfriend’.
behaviour, drug or alcohol abuse, cutting and self-mutilation.
May favour the victim over other children.
Acts out, or behaves aggressively.
Uses the internet, text messages and social media to initiate
Promiscuity. conversations of a sexual nature with children and/or young people.
Eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia). Buying a child gifts or giving money
Compulsive behaviours (e.g. hand washing).
Sudden and pervasive interest in sex.
Pregnancy, sexually-transmitted diseases.
States that they have been abused, or describes activities which are
sexually abusive, or hints about such activities.
Around 90 percent of child sexual abuse is
Tries to make self as unattractive as possible.
Sexualised behaviour with younger children, e.g. innappropriate committed by someone known to the child
touching, games with sexual overtones.
or their family.

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Neglect is the failure to provide for the child’s basic
needs such as housing, nutrition, adequate supervision,
medical and psychological care, and education. What is
NEGLECT?
Neglect is any act or omission Neglect can be characterised by:
that results in impaired physical
„„ Physical neglect – failure to
functioning, injury and/or
provide the necessities to sustain
development of a child or
the life or health of the child or
young person.*
young person
Neglect is one of the most prevalent „„ Neglectful supervision – failure
forms of abuse to children and one of to provide developmentally
the most difficult to define. appropriate or legally required
Neglect can also be a one-off event, supervision of the child or young
as in abandonment. person, leading to an increased
risk of harm
Neglect is usually the result of a
„„ Medical neglect – failure to
parent or caregiver omitting to do
seek, obtain, or follow through
something, rather than a deliberate
with medical care for the child
act to harm a child. Neglect can
or young person, resulting in
cause long term serious harm to a
their impaired function
child’s health or development.
or development
„„ Abandonment – leaving a child
or young person in any situation
without arranging necessary care
for them and with no intention
of returning
Neglect causes „„ Educational neglect – failure of
a parent or caregiver to meet a
both physical and child’s education needs.
emotional harm to „„ Refusal to assume parental
responsibility – unwillingness or
the child. inability to provide appropriate
care or control for a child

*
Fanslow, J.L, & Kelly, P., 2016. Family Violence
Intervention Guidelines: Child and Partner Abuse.
Ministry of Health, Wellington.

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NEGLECT NEGLECT
PHYSICAL INDICATORS OF NEGLECT – CHILD CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE NEGLECT

Can be dressed inappropriately for the season or the weather. This Suffers from severe developmental lags (speech, motor,
could result in recurrent colds, pneumonia, sunburn, frostbite, etc. sensory) without an obvious physical cause. Children may exhibit
Is often extremely dirty or unbathed. (Not to be confused with the global delays.
'healthy dirtyness' of an active child.) Demonstrates lack of attachment to parents.
May have severe nappy rash or other persistent skin disorders, or Demonstrates indiscriminate attachment to other adults.
rashes resulting from improper hygiene, or lack of it. Poor school performance, or school attendance.
Is inadequately supervised, or left unattended frequently, or for longer Has frequent unsupervised absences from home, or is left at home
periods of time than is normally accepted. alone or unsupervised.
May be left in the care of an inappropriate caregiver – e.g. one that is Is very demanding of affection or attention.
too young, or too old, to care for and protect the child.
Engages in delinquent acts, or abuses alcohol or drugs.
Does not receive adequate medical or dental care and has unattended
health problems. May steal food.

Malnourished – may be undersized, have low weight, sallow Has poor social skills.
complexion, lack of body tone. Has no understanding of basic hygiene.
Lacks adequate shelter – lives in housing that is unsafe, inadequately Discloses that parents are absent, or basic needs are not being met.
heated, or is unsanitary.
Child suffers from a condition called non-organic failure to thrive.
This occurs when the child (infant or very young child) falls behind
in weight, height and development with no medical explanation (this
condition may also be the result of emotional abuse).
For most children, New Zealand Aotearoa
is a wonderful place to grow up.
Some are not so lucky.

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What is
NEGLECT EMOTIONAL ABUSE?
ADULT BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE NEGLECT
Emotional abuse is any act or Emotional abuse may result from
omission that results in impaired exposure to family violence, or
Is overwhelmed with own problems and puts own needs psychological, social, intellectual involvement in illegal or
ahead of those of the child. and/or emotional functioning anti-social activities.
Fails to provide for the child’s basic needs, such as housing, nutrition, and development of a child or
Children who are sexually abused,
medical and psychological care. young person.*
physically abused or neglected are
Does not provide routine supervision for the child. The effects of emotional abuse are always victims of emotional harm
Is frequently unaware of and has no concern for the child’s not always immediate or visible. as well.
whereabouts or activities. The long-lasting effects may only
Fails to enrol a child in school, permits truancy from school, become evident as a child becomes
or fails to provide for the special educational needs of the child. older and begins to show challenging
Demonstrates little or no involvement in child’s life – does not attend behaviours or symptoms.
recreation events, school activities, etc. Emotionally abusive behaviour on
Leaves the child alone, unattended or fails to adequately supervise the the part of the caregiver can include
child, or abandons the child. verbal abuse, a pattern of rejecting,
degrading, ignoring, isolating,
Drug and alcohol abuse.
corrupting, exploiting or terrorising
a child. Emotional

Physical Sexual

If you think a child is not getting the

The different types of
care they need, trust your instincts
abuse are interrelated Family Violence

Neglect

*
Fanslow, J.L. 2002. Family Violence Intervention
Guidelines: Child and Partner Abuse. Ministry of
Health, Wellington.

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EMOTIONAL ABUSE EMOTIONAL ABUSE
PHYSICAL INDICATORS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE – CHILD CHILDREN’S BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE
EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Bed-wetting, or bed soiling that has no medical cause. Suffers from severe developmental lags (speech, motor, sensory)
Frequent psychosomatic complaints without an obvious physical cause.
(eg. headaches, nausea, abdominal pains). Severe symptoms of depression, anxiety, withdrawal or aggression.
The child suffers from a condition called non-organic failure to thrive. Severe symptoms of self-destructive behaviour. May threaten or
This may indicate neglect and occurs when the child (infant or very attempt suicide. May engage in drug or alcohol abuse.
young child) falls behind in weight, height and development with no Overly compliant, too well-mannered, too neat and clean.
medical explanation.
Displays extreme attention-seeking behaviours, or displays extreme
Appears pale, emaciated, has ‘sunken cheeks’. inhibition in play.
Body fat ratio is extremely low – e.g. wrinkled buttocks. When at play, behaviour may model or copy negative behaviours and
Skin may feel like parchment or paper resulting from dehydration. language used at home (e.g. smacking or yelling at doll).
Prolonged vomiting and/or diarrhoea. Recurring physical complaints without medical cause (e.g. abdominal
Has not attained developmental milestones within the child’s age pain, headaches, sore throat, nausea, etc).
range – e.g. cannot hold head up at six months of age, cannot walk at Runs away from home.
18 months of age. Nightmares, poor sleeping patterns.
Suffers from malnutrition. Antisocial behaviours. May not cope well in social settings.
Dressed differently from other children in the family. Lack of self esteem.
Has deprived physical living conditions compared to other children in Obsessive behaviours.
the family.
Developing psychotic symptoms.
Appears generally as a ‘sad’ child.
Indicates they have witnessed family violence or violence is occurring
in their home.

Don’t be afraid to offend an adult

to protect a child.
Child abuse is a community problem
that needs a community solution.

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What is
EMOTIONAL ABUSE FAMILY VIOLENCE/HARM
ADULT BEHAVIOUR THAT COULD INDICATE EMOTIONAL ABUSE
Family violence is not only acts of „„ May have emotional responses
physical violence, it also includes including:
Labels the child as inferior, or publicly humiliates the child. intimidating behaviour such as • Depression, headaches, sleeping
Treats the child differently from siblings or peers. threatening to harm people, pets or and eating disorders
property. Children are always affected • Panic attacks, drug abuse and
Actively refuses to help the child, or acknowledge the child’s request
either emotionally or physically where dependency on alcohol
for help.
there is family violence, even if they
Threatens the child with physical harm or death, or forces the child to „„ May give excuses for injuries
are not physically present.
observe physical harm inflicted on a loved one. or their partner’s aggressive
The indications that children have behaviour in an attempt to not
Locks the child in a closet or room for extended periods of time. been affected by family violence draw attention to the violence
Refuses to allow interactions or relationships with peers or adults include those covered in the physical, „„ Is fearful and appears to have no
outside the family. sexual, neglect and emotional abuse autonomy or self-worth
sections of this book.
Teaches or reinforces criminal behaviour.
Indicators of Family violence
Withholds physical and verbal affection from the child and ignores the While some men experience violence
– in perpetrators include:
from partners and family members,
child’s attempts to interact.
women and children are the most „„ Isolates partner from family,
Has unrealistic expectations of the child. common victims of family violence. friends, associates and wider
Involves a child in ‘adult issues’ such as separation or disputes over the community
child’s care. Indicators of Family violence „„ May move frequently
– in the child include:
„„ Exhibits controlling behaviour over
„„ May present with physical injuries both partner and children
„„ May experience problems at school „„ Uses aggressive and physical
„„ Child discloses or describes violence towards partner and
violent actions children
„„ May display bullying or aggressive „„ Threatens, criticises, intimidates
behaviour partner and children
„„ May display signs of depression „„ Uses subtle intimidation tactics
such as threatening to, or actually
Indicators of Family violence harming pets
– in adult victims include: „„ Is sexually controlling and may
„„ May have physical injuries force sex on their partner
including: „„ Minimises or denies own
• Facial injuries behaviour, or blames the victim for
• Bruising in chest and abdomen the perpetrator’s own behaviour
• Injuries during pregnancy
• Multiple injuries, and patterns of
repeated injury
30 www.childmatters.org.nz www.childmatters.org.nz 31
 HOW CAN I TELL?

HOW CAN I TELL?

What makes a child more What makes a child more
VULNERABLE TO ABUSE? VULNERABLE TO ABUSE?
Research and analysis both in New Overall, the more vulnerability and/ There are a number of factors that „„ Child is unwanted, or at risk
Zealand and internationally have or risk factors there are, the greater can make a child more vulnerable of poor bonding
identified a number of factors the likelihood of abuse. Obviously, to abuse. Factors that can increase • early separation from mother
that are associated with children’s although the likelihood might be vulnerability include: • low maternal involvement
increased vulnerability to abuse. greater, it is not inevitable, and with • dissatisfaction with the child
„„ Young Mother
There is a general consensus, that as other strengths, invulnerabilities and • child gets very little attention
the number of such factors increase, protective factors, most children can • mother is under 18 years
in the first two years
so the likelihood of child abuse and do very well. • may have little or no support
• may have no educational „„ Social isolation
neglect increases.
The presence of factors that increase qualifications • minimal antenatal care
In the same way that one or two vulnerability should alert us that a • may have low self esteem and • frequent change of address
symptoms of abuse do not prove situation might be serious, and that poor coping skills • lack of family support
that the child has been abused, help and support could be needed.
„„ Parent has psychiatric history „„ Drug and/or alcohol misuse
the presence of any one or two
or untreated mental illness • known drug taking, drug
vulnerability or risk factors does
not mean that abuse becomes „„ Child is living with an manufacture, or drug-dealing
a certainty. unrelated adult • excessive use of alcohol
„„ Family history of abuse. „„ Unrealistic expectations
These factors alert us to the
A parent or family member of child’s behaviour
probability or chance that some
may have: • harsh or inappropriate
form of abuse may occur.
• been suspected of physical punishment
abuse in the past • poor parenting skills, lack
• been the victim of abuse of understanding of child
as a child development or child care
• a history of mistreating „„ Multiple crises or stresses
animals
• poverty
Every morning thousands of „„ Family Violence/Harm • lack of essential resources
children wake up to child abuse. • abusive or neglectful partner
• violent outbursts, poor
•
•
children with special needs
overcrowding
impulse control • multiple birth
It’s time we all did.

32 www.childmatters.org.nz www.childmatters.org.nz 33
 HOW CAN I TELL?

About Help Child Matters

CHILD MATTERS HELP CHILDREN
Unlike many other countries, in New
Zealand child protection training is
Child Matters works with all sectors
including professional, community HOW CAN YOU SUPPORT US?
not mandatory for professionals or organisations, families and whānau, Please go to our website:
volunteers who work with children to deliver training, provide advice http://www.childmatters.org.nz/61/supporting-child-matters/ways-to-support-us
and young people. This means regarding policy and procedures,
teachers, sports coaches and even and recommend resources regarding or contact us on:
social workers may never have child protection issues. For the
received training relating to child many people Child Matters deliver
Child Matters
abuse and neglect, how to recognise these services to, it is the only
PO Box 679, Hamilton 3240
the signs of abuse, and how to child protection training they have
Phone (07) 838 3370
respond if risk is identified. received.
Website www.childmatters.org.nz
This is the reason Child Matters Educating all sectors of our Email info@childmatters.org.nz
exists – to upskill those working community how to protect our
and interacting with children, tamaraki is essential to reducing
young people and their families and abuse and neglect in New Zealand.
whānau so they are able to identify
risks concerning vulnerability and
abuse and have the knowledge and
confidence to take appropriate action.

Children rely on adults

to keep them safe.

34 www.childmatters.org.nz www.childmatters.org.nz 35
 If you have a concern about a child or family, call:
Ministry for Children, Oranga Tamariki
0508 326 459
Or
Police:
Contact your local Police Station
In an emergency call 111 and ask for Police

If you require further assistance

Parenthelp – free national parent helpline Family Works – offer a range of social
providing compassionate, friendly, non- services for children, young people, families
judgmental support and advice on all and whānau, facing challenges in their lives,
parenting issues. which they are not able to overcome on
0800 568 856 their own.
www.familyworks.org.nz
PlunketLine – free parent helpline and
advice service available 24 hours a day, Women’s Refuge – national organisation
7 days a week to all parents who need help. working to end domestic violence towards
0800 933 922 women and children.
www.womensrefuge.org.nz
Healthline – provide free health advice to
parents about babies and children. Le Va – support Pasifika families and
0800 611 116 communities to unleash their full potential
and have the best possible health and
Rape crisis – regional support centres for
wellbeing outcomes.
survivors of rape and sexual abuse, their
www.leva.co.nz
families, friends and whānau.
0800 88 33 00 Care NZ – committed to helping people to
live a life free from the harms of alcohol or
The Salvation Army – provide budgeting
other drugs.
advice, food and clothing assistance, life
www.carenz.co.nz
skills programmes and other comfort and
support nationwide.
www.salvationarmy.org.nz
Barnardos – provide child and family
support services, early learning and
childcare nationwide.
www.barnardos.org.nz

PO Box 679, Hamilton 3240, New Zealand

Phone 07-838 3370 Email info@childmatters.org.nz
web www.childmatters.org.nz

ISBN 978-0-473-12405-2. Eighth Edition 2019.