<b>Title:</b> Untitled (yet) <br><br /><b>Author:</b> <lj user="Yurikamome19"> <br><br

/><b>Pairing:</b> YutoYama, OkaYama <br><br /><b>Rating:</b> pg-13<br><br /><b>Genre:</b> AU,

ANGST

Note: Yuto is one year older than Ryosuke here.

<center>Chapter one

Encounter</center>

“Dai-chan, where is the house anyway? We’ve been walking quite far from the station”

“gomen, gomen. The house is a little bit far from the station, that’s why the rent is cheap, don’t
complaining. There is no share house with very good features and cheap rent in Tokyo but this, believe
me.” the guy who is called Dai-chan said. He smiles to the taller guy behind him who is bringing a big
suitcase with him.

The black haired guy sighing, the shorter one is right. The share house they’re going now have 10
bedrooms, 3 bathrooms and one big shared kitchen and living room. Dai-chan, his senior, said that it’s a
really big house and the rent is cheap, so affordable for the not-really-rich college students like him. It’s
also near with their college, just two station away.

Nakajima Yuto, 20 years old, is a college student in his second year. His house is far from his college, so
he was living in an apartment for the first year of his college live but he couldn’t manage the expensive
bills of living alone, that’s why he will live in a share house from now on. His senior in college, Arioka
Daiki, introducing him the share house he has been living since the first year and he agreed to live there
too.

“we’re here” Daiki announced, pointing to the two floored big house which is painted in white and
pastel color. Yuto is gaping when he is seeing the house, it’s so beautiful and so big, even bigger than he
expected. “what are you doing there? Come in” his senpai called, opening the front gate for him. he
nods and walking in.

“how many people is living here now?” he asked when Daiki searching for his key which is decided to
play hide and seek inside his bag.

“nine people with you, all guys” his senpai answered, still searching for his key. The shorter guy cursed
and flipping his bag down, making everything inside the bag scattered on the floor. “ah, found it~” he
cheered when he found his key. Yuto shakes his head to his senior clumsiness and helping him to pick
the things which are scattered on the floor back to his bag.

“welcome to our share house” the chubby cheeked guy said, opening wide the front door for Yuto.
The first thing Yuto saw is the stairway to the second floor, and the guy who is walking down the stairs.
Yuto couldn’t believe what he had seen, the guy who is walking down the stairs and now bringing his
feet to where he is standing...

it’s him.

“ah, Dai-chan, you’re home” the guy said, smiling so bright.

“yeah, I brought our new friend who will live here. He is Nakajima Yuto” Daiki said. Those eyes, those
pretty beads Yuto always loves is now staring at him.

“Yuto senpai!” he exclaimed, looking so surprised to see Yuto,

“ah, hi. Hisashiburi ne, Yama-chan” he answered.

“eh? You two knew each other?” Daiki asked,

“un, we attended the same high school. Yuto-kun is my senpai”

Yeah, he is only a <i>senpai</i> for him,

But for him...he is his first and unrequited love...

Newnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnewnenwnewnenwnewnenwenewnewnenwnewnne

Flashback

March, three years and seven months ago.

Nakajima Yuto, 17 years old was standing beside the gate of his high school, in front of him there were a
line of new student who was lining up to going inside the school,

“please fix your tie” Yuto said to the short boy in front of him, the short boy looked so nervous and just
nodding his head, fixing his tie and showing it to Yuto. “okay, you can go in” Yuto said and the boy
sighed in relief. “next” the tall boy said, calling the next person in line. “please take off your earrings, our
school didn’t allow their student, girls or boys to wear it in school” he said to the girl in front of him, who
clicked her tongue rudely. “take it off or we will give you a detention. I believe you didn’t want to have a
red mark in your first day here” he added, showing his intimidating aura.

“wakatta!” the girl answered and taking off her earrings, shoving them to her bag.

“next” Yuto called again and inspecting the next student.

As the member of the student council, he had to spare his time early in the morning to stand in the front
gate and inspecting the new students uniform and appearance before they were going inside the school.
his friends in other side of the gate was mouthing ‘new student is annoying’ to him and he nodded, he
couldn’t agree more.

The bell was ringing around the school, the sign that the ceremony would started and the gate should be
closed, no mercy for any students who was late. “I’ll stay here to watch any student who may be late,
and you please make a round to see if any student lost or having a trouble inside” his friend said to him
and he made an ‘OK’ gesture with his hand.

He walked around the school, scolding any new student who was skipping the ceremony and brought
them to the student council’s room for detention. He was continuing to inspecting the backyard behind
the science laboratory building which was quite famous to be a hiding place because it was full with
sakura trees, pines and bushes, just like a small forest that was why the students always use that as a
skipping place. The sakura petals floating around him beautifully, and he smiled when he caught one
petal on his hand. It’s said if you could catch a sakura petal when its floating then you will find a
happiness, and Yuto chuckled that he was actually believing that. It was just a myth, urban legend,
made-up story, he really thought like that.

He blew the petal on his hand and back to his job, walking around the small forest to see any student
around. But no one was there and he was about to go back to the student council office when he heard
a voice. “it’s okay, come on, I won’t hurt you” the soft voice said and Yuto looking up to the source of
the voice. There, sitting in one branch of sakura tree was a student trying to reach a kitten which was
hissing angrily, “it’s okay, I’ll help you to go down. come here” he said again.

Yuto could only see his back so he couldn’t see if he was the new student or not. He walked to the tree
where that student was climbing and looking up to him. The student tie’s color was black with green
stripes, which was indicating that he was a first year student. “first year, what are you doing up there?
The ceremony is started” he called out and that new student turning his face down to Yuto.

Yuto felt his breath stopped when he saw him, <i>beautiful</i> was the only word he could think when
that boy looking at him. His honey brown hair looked so soft, his bangs was so messy and there was
some scratches on his chubby cheeks, maybe he got it when he was climbing this quite high sakura tree,
he thought.

“gomennasai, I was walking around when I saw this kitten up here and couldn’t go down. So I wanted to
help him, I really didn’t plan to skip the ceremony, gomennasai” the boy said, bowing his head to Yuto
and that was when the cat jumped over to his face, making him startled and losing his balance, “aah!”
he screamed as he fell.

Yuto’s instinct taking in and he automatically raising his hands up to catch the falling boy. It was as if the
time was going in slow motion, he could see the shorter’s boy face clearly when he was falling. He was
closing tight his eyes and biting his lower lip while holding the cat securely inside his arms.
<i>I won’t let you get hurt

I want to protect you</i>

Yuto caught his body, making his body knocked on the ground of the sudden blow. “itai...” he hissed in
pain, his hands still wrapping around the smaller body of the new student. “are you okay?” he asked,
and the new student slowly opened his eyes, staring right to Yuto’s eyes and smiling his breath-taking
smile.

“un, arigatou. The cat is okay” he answered, showing the cat inside his arms.

it’s not the cat, Yuto thought. The new student was standing up and suddenly chuckling, making Yuto
wondered what he was laughing about, “why are you laughing?” he asked,

“no, I think I’ve seen this kind of situation in one of my shoujo manga” he laughed again and Yuto finally
knew what he had meant.

<i>A wonderful and beautiful meeting between lovers</i>

“I’m Yamada Ryosuke, yoroshiku onegaishimasu senpai” the boy was bowing his head in front of him
then walking away to his class after he got some lecture from the student council’s president in the
office. Yuto was assigned to look over him after school when he would be doing his detention.

<i>as I was looking at your back at that time, I still didn’t know what that feelings was called. I thought it
was temporary, I thought I just a little bit interested in you.

But it’s not...</i>

“otsukare~” a can of coke was thrown over him and he caught it perfectly,

“thanks, Keito” he said to his bestfriend and gulping down the treat.

“did you find any pretty girl among the new student?” Keito came over to him and hanging his arm over
his shoulder casually,

“so you gave me this coke just to ask me that?” he chuckled,

“yeah. You know that I was already experiencing to date <i>every</i> beauty in this school, so now I
need a new stock” Keito said lightly.

Okamoto Keito, his bestfriend, was a famous playboy in the school, dating and dumping every girl he
wanted so easily. Keito was a very nice friend, but as a lover...Yuto thought that he was the worst and
wondering why the girls kept surrounding him. Keito is rich, his parents has the famous clothing line in
the country, he always looks so fashionable and perfect. Maybe that was why the girls always sticking to
him, aside of his perfect features of course.
He was never butting in Keito’s private matters, they’re friend but there was this wall and untold rules to
never messing with each other’s private matters. Yuto was never scold his bestfriend whenever he made
a girl crying or dumping them harshly. He was just watching it from the side and he was planning to do it
forever since he didn’t want to break his stable friendship with him.

<center>yeah, he was planning to do that, before Yamada Ryosuke came into his and Keito’s
life</center>

***

“our new student council member, Yamada Ryosuke” the student council president introduced the short
boy in front of the members a month after the new student ceremony had held.

“yoroshiku onegaishimasu” Ryosuke bowing in front of his seniors in the student council’s office, his
eyes met Yuto’s and he smiled softly.

<i>Did you know how I felt when you were smiling to me? I really thought that our meeting was a fate,
that the sakura petal that I caught that day was a sign that you’re my happiness. You were really my
happiness, Ryosuke. . .

But you’re also the source of my sadness</i>

A few weeks after Ryosuke came into his life, everything around him looked so bright than ever, as if
glittering with the color he never knew to exist before. He knew that he was interested in that first year
boy, but his crush didn’t show any hint that he was also have some feelings to him, he was only seeing
him as a senpai.

He thought that it was okay, he wanted to stay like that for a little more because he didn’t want to push
his feelings to Ryosuke and he was also afraid that his kouhai would drifting away if he confessed to him.
So it was okay for him to maintain a senpai-kouhai relationship with him, until he was sure about
Ryosuke’s feeling.

<i>but I was wrong, you are never interested in me</i>

“I found a new one” Keito announced when he walked to Yuto’s table in the class, and it didn’t need any
super power to know what Keito had found, a new girl.

“really? Then congrats” he said, praying that this time Keito would be serious with that girl. It was not a
nice sight to see a girl crying and begging for his friend’s love. “first year girl?”

“yeah, but my new one is not a girl. It’s a boy” his bestfriend said, making him choked on the tea he was
drinking.

“a boy?!” he said in a loud voice, and his friend just grinning at him.
“he is so pretty, even prettier than any girl I’ve been dating for the whole of my life” Keito explained and
he was somehow had a bad feelings about this. “he is the member of student council, you must know
him, Yamada Ryosuke” Keito added.

The bottle of tea he was holding slipped from his fingers when he heard that, soaked on his table.
Something inside him breaking as Ryosuke’s smiling face flashing on his mind, his bright sparkly eyes, his
soft chuckles... “Yuto, what are you doing?” Keito said, snapping him back to his sense and he hurriedly
taking a handkerchief from his pocket, wiping his wet table.

<i>That day, I was really hope that what I had heard wasn’t true. That you are taken by him</i>

“Keito-senpai” that soft voice called, but it was not his name which was slipped from those lips. It was
his bestfriend’s.

“Ryo-chan, we’re talking about you just now. Come here” Keito waved to Ryosuke who was standing
before their classroom’s door and the younger boy walking closer to him. Keito reached for those hand
and pulling him to sit on his lap, holding him securely on his waist. “this is my sweetheart, Yamada
Ryosuke” his bestfriend said, and he noticed how Ryosuke’s chubby cheeks blushing a faint red. It was
the worst day in his life, and it was just the beginning...

<i>I had been waiting to confess my feelings to you

Yet at that time when I saw you were smiling to him

I could see love...</i>

For the first time in his life, he knew that the feelings he had been feeling since the first time he met him
was not only a crush. It was love. And he realized it after his heart was taken by his bestfriend. Nothing
could be worse than that.

<i>Why it should be like that? I was the one who met you first, you’re the first one who made me feel
like that. Why are you there with him? where I did it wrong?

That was what I always ask to myself...

Why?</i>

<i>why can’t you see, Ryosuke...</i>

“welcome to the share house, Yuto-senpai” that soft voice he had been missing, the smile he had been
dreaming, the one who always makes his heart to feel this fluttering feelings...the person he didn’t meet
for one and half year... is now standing in front of him, still looks so flawless like always.

“Yoroshiku, Yama-chan” he answered.

<i>God, can I hope that the story between us is finally getting started?</i>

a/n: first chapter~ </lj-cut>

<b>Title:</b> Please, turn to me <br><br /><b>Author:</b> <lj user="Yurikamome19"> <br><br

/><b>Pairing:</b> YutoYama, OkaYama <br><br /><b>Rating:</b> pg-13<br><br /><b>Genre:</b> AU,
ANGST

<lj-cut text="Ch.2">

<center>Chapter two

Can’t you look at me?</center>

“your room is on the second floor, right in front of Ryosuke’s room” Daiki said, helping Yuto to bring his
suitcase to the second floor. There are five rooms in second floor, his room is on the right wing, right in
front of the room which a name plate decorated in strawberry pattern hanging on the door.

‘Ryosuke’s room. knock first if you want to go in’ is written on the plate,

“Ryosuke loves strawberry” Daiki said when he notices him staring at the Ryosuke’s door,

“I knew it already” he answered.

“oh I forgot, you’re his boyfriend’s bestfriend. You should know it already” Daiki said, opening the now-
his-room’s door and letting him in.

<i>Yeah, he knew all about Ryosuke. Even more than anyone...</i>

Flashback
“you’re still working on it?” Yuto asked when he saw Ryosuke still working on some paper work in the
student council’s office. The other members were already going home after finished their work. the
younger boy looked up to him and nodded,

“something isn’t right with this calculation, so I’m checking where I did it wrong” he said, pointing to the
school’s festival budget. Yuto walked closer to his side and took a seat beside him,

“let me check it” he said, taking the paper from the shorter’s hand.

“eh? It’s okay, I’ll do it myself. Yuto-senpai must be so tired deshou, I will somehow finish it by myself”
Ryosuke said, taking the paper from Yuto’s hand. “daijoubu, thank you” the brown haired boy smiled. It
was the smile he always loves. “I don’t want to be spoiled just because I’m the youngest here. Jya, see
you tomorrow Yuto-senpai” Ryosuke waving his hand to him, shooing him from the office.

“wakatta. Don’t go home too late” he said before going out from the room.

Ryosuke was his bestfriend’s boyfriend, and the only person who could keeping up with Keito that long.
They were already dating for almost one year now, he didn’t know why Ryosuke could stand to be with
Keito. His bestfriend was cheating on him many times, and he knew it...but he always forgive him
although he knew that Keito was not only dating him, but also a few girls in and outside their school.

It was more than once Yuto found Ryosuke’s eyes so teary, trying hard to hold up his tears. Yuto could
do nothing...just giving him his favorite strawberry milk and patting his soft hair gently without saying
anything. what else he could do? Confronting Keito? he was his bestfriend and he swore to not get
involved in his personal matters. But the more he saw those hurtful eyes of Ryosuke, the more he
wanted to butt in their relationship and snatching him from Keito.

The moon showed up on the night sky, Yuto glanced on his wristwatch and wondering why Ryosuke still
didn’t going home, it was so late already. Since the afternoon he was secretly waiting for the younger
boy outside the office, that was the only thing he could do, watching and protecting him from afar. He
stood up from the floor and slowly opening the office’s door. A line of smile appeared on his face when
he saw Ryosuke was falling asleep on the table.

He brought his feet closer to him, his fingers found their way to those soft strands on his forehead. He
brushing his bangs softly, didn’t want him to wake up. His fingers were a little bit bold that day, they
were lightly tracing his soft cheek down to his lips. He didn’t know what was gotten into him but he was
unconsciously leaning down to those pink lips and tasting it with his own lips. It was soft, very soft.
Something he would die for to always taste it on his lips. “I love you” he said. His feelings overflowed, it
was only him who he always see, but why... he was that close but he couldn’t reach him.

The shorter boy suddenly woke up in a shock, startling Yuto who was standing beside him, “Yuto-
senpai...” he sighed in relief, “I thought someone kissed me before” Ryosuke said then laughing off at his
ridiculous dream. Yuto nervously darting his eyes everywhere but those brown beads of Ryosuke’s, how
could he say that he was the one who kissed him? his bestfriend’s boyfriend?
“by the way, why are Yuto-senpai still here?” Ryosuke asked him,

“ah um...I forgot something” he answered randomly, ”and you, did I say that you shouldn’t stay too
late? What if I didn’t go back here?” he scolded. Ryosuke might be sleeping here until the morning if he
didn’t wait for him, and it was winter.

“gomen senpai, it just happened” he chuckled while packing up his stationary neatly to his bag.

Both of them were walking in silence outside the school, he was sometimes take a glance to the shorter
boy beside him who was busy typing on his phone while smiling a gentle smile. He knew who was the
person he was messaging, his bestfriend. They had a fight three days ago, Ryosuke caught Keito kissed a
girl in the library when he and Yuto assigned to help the librarian arranging the books. Yuto would never
forget the looks on Ryosuke’s face at that time, sadness...he was torn apart...but as usual, he was
stupidly forgiving Keito.

A honk interrupted Yuto’s train of thought, he turned his eyes to the source of the loud honk and saw
Keito standing beside his red car. “Keito!” Ryosuke exclaimed happily and run to the older boy’s side,
hugging him tightly.

“I’ll take you home” Keito said, patting Ryosuke’s head gently. The younger boy nodding excitedly and
going inside the car, “what are you doing there, Yuto? come in, I’ll drive you too” his bestfriend said,

“no thanks, I still need to do something in town. Just go and take Yama-chan home, he fell asleep in the
office earlier, he must be so tired” he said while forcing a smile,

“did you, Ryo-chan?” Keito asked, caressing Ryosuke’s hair. His heart was clenching hurtfully,

“Yuto-senpai!” The younger boy pouted, making an irritated looks because he spoke out that to his
boyfriend,

“okay then, see you tomorrow” Keito said then drove off from the school’s front gate.

<i>why? Why are you always looking at him and not me?</i>

***

“welcome to our school festival, here the map of our stands”

“please come to class 2-3 maid cafe in the first building”

“ghost house of class 1-4 in the corner of the second building, please come everyone~”

The voices of students promoting their class could be heard around the school’s gate, everyone was so
desperate to get more customer, and doing their best to attract them. In that crucial but fun moment,
the student council members’s job was to make sure that everything was going right on the track. Yuto
and Ryosuke were walking together around the classes to watch if there was anything wrong and
someone needed their help.

“Yuto-senpai, I heard that your class is doing a cross-dress cafe” Ryosuke said, glancing up at him,

“un, you knew from Keito?”

“no, the girls in my class are very excited about it. Keito just said that I shouldn’t come to his class, so I
bet that he is choosed as one of the cross-dressed waiter?” the shorter boy chuckled,

“yeah, he is. Wanna see him?” Yuto asked,

“eh? I don’t want him to be angry” Ryosuke answered, there was a hint of sadness on his tone. The
younger boy was so afraid of making his bestfriend angry, because he loves him too much.

“it’s okay, I’ll make an excuse that it’s our job to inspecting every class. ne?” he said, giving a light push
on the younger’s back then walking to his class, 3-1.

“Keito? I don’t know. He was so mad when we were making him to wear this dress and storming out
from the class. That kid, although it’s our last festival in high school” one of his classmate who was
wearing a maid costume said, showing a tight chinese dress which should be wore by Keito. Ryosuke
giggled beside him, imagining how mad his boyfriend was when he asked to wear that embarrassing
dress.

“err, no wonder he run away” Yuto said, then laughed off with Ryosuke outside the class, “this is the first
time that I’m so glad I’m a member of student council, so I didn’t have to wear that dress” he added,

“too bad, I really want to see Yuto-senpai in that dress” Ryosuke said, teasing him.

“you shortie” he said, ruffling Ryosuke’s hair affectionally and the younger chuckling while asking him to
stop messing with his hair.

“let’s go find Keito” he said, earning a firm nod from the shorter boy. Ryosuke was telling him that he
was actually had a promise with Keito to go around the festival when his job as the student council was
done. The festival was his and Keito’s last festival in high school before they graduated so Ryosuke
wanted to make some memories with Keito.

They were walking to the rooftop, the only place Keito usually went to skip the class or just spending his
free time. But what they saw there was not something that they expected, especially for Ryosuke. They
found Keito kissed a girl, from her uniform Yuto knew she wasn’t from their school, both of them didn’t
know they were watching them from the slightly opened door. The younger boy beside him stiffened on
his spot, his hurted face was something that he couldn’t explain. Ryosuke was broken, once again Keito
made him making that sad expression.

Ryosuke glanced up to him and smiling bitterly, he knew that the younger just trying to stay strong,
“gomen senpai, I just remembered that I need to do something. Jya” he said then fled from there.
That eyes was brimming in tears and he knew that Ryosuke was definitely crying silently after that.
Alone...

“Yuto? what are you doing there?” Keito, who was finally realize that he was standing there walking
over to him while holding the waist of that girl. For the first time in his life, he really wanted to punch his
bestfriend for hurting Ryosuke like that. He was always forgiving him, he gave his whole heart to him,
the thing that Yuto wanted so much...but Keito, he didn’t respect any of it. “oh, did you see that I kissed
her? Don’t say anything to Ryo-chan ne” Keito said with a smirk on his face,

“what is your name again? Mayu?” Keito asked to the girl beside him,,

“mou, don’t forget my name~” the girl clinging to Keito’s arm, acting cutely

“sorry honey, let’s go to my apartment after this. I’ll make it up for you” Keito said sweetly.

His composure was finally broke down after he had heard that, Ryosuke was really looking forward to
spend his time with him in the school festival yet he was easily forgetting his promise with him and
inviting the girl he just met to his apartment. He grabbed to Keito’s collar, banging him to the wall,
making the girl screamed in fear,

“hey, what’s wrong?” Keito asked, didn’t understand why he was acting like that.

“ I’m sick of your behavior! Don’t play around like this anymore, you hurt him!” he shouted on his face,
anger interrupting inside his heart. He was really sick of his bestfriend’s behavior,

“what? Why are you suddenly barging in my personal matter? It’s my life, I don’t want anyone to touch
any of it” Keito shoved away his hands from his collar, “don’t tell me, you love Ryo-chan?” he asked to
him, and he couldn’t hide it...he was sure that his face show it all, his feelings for Ryosuke. “Damn you!”
Keito walked closer to him then punched him without any warning, “don’t you ever get closer to him, he
is mine!” he shouted,

“then treasure him!” He barked back, throwing his punch to Keito’s face then they started punching
each other until the teacher came and separating them. That was how his friendship with Keito was
ruined, he knew that his bestfriend hate it when someone messing with his personal matters or when
someone wanted the things he had, in this case...it was Ryosuke. But he was so sick with that already,
Keito couldn’t treat Ryosuke right and he didn’t want him to be hurted.

“Yuto, don’t you ever try to make him yours. I won’t forgive you” Keito said to him after they was
released from the teacher’s office.

“treat him right, and I’ll do nothing” he answered, staring firmly to Keito’s eyes. Keito was glaring back
then leaving him alone in the class. Since then, he was never see Keito with any girls around, those
breath-taking smile of Ryosuke was back along with his cheerful manners. He didn’t say anything, as he
had promised with Keito, he just stayed back and watching his dearest person being happy with his
bestfriend. Sometimes, when Ryosuke working in the student council office until late, he would secretly
waiting for him and put a small box of strawberry milk on his table. protecting him from afar was the
only thing he could do, it was enough to watch him smilling happily.

<i>it’s enough, because his smile is the most important thing in my life</i>

End of flashback

“for our new friend here, Yuto. kanpai~” Dai-chan said, raising his glass up high, followed by Yuto and
the other members of the share house.

“everyone, yoroshiku onegaishimasu” Yuto bowing deeply in the front of his new friends in the house,

“Yuto, you’re too formal, stiff! Relax dude, we’re normal people like you” the blonde haired guy, Hikaru
said to him. among all the people inside the house, Hikaru is the most easy going type of person, he is so
hyper and friendly. Yuto laughs and nods, maybe he is too formal after all.

“don’t be so nervous Yuto-kun, we’re family from now” the other guy who is sitting beside Hikaru said to
him, his name is Yabu Kota, the oldest guy in the house.

“Takaki! Don’t eat the cake yet!” Dai-chan shouted to the brunette guy in the corner who is already
munching the cake and grinning stupidly. Ryosuke jumps from the couch and walks to them,

“eeh, Takaki-kun~ why are you eat the cake first?! And it’s the slice which had the most strawberry on it!
mou~” Ryosuke whines, pouting his lips while staring to the cake on Takaki’s hand,

“forget it Yama-chan, don’t cry over spilled water. Here, you can eat the strawberry on my cake”
Morimoto Ryutaro, the youngest boy in the house and also the owner of this share house taking a
strawberry on his cake with a fork and shoving it to Ryosuke’s mouth, “stop whining!” he said, and
Ryosuke nods.

“who’s the hell the younger between you two” The shortest guy in the house, Chinen said, rolling his
eyes lazily.

“mentally it’s Ryutaro, he has a heart of Ojii-san although he is still high schooler” Inoo Kei, the student
of the elite university said and tapping Ryosuke’s shoulder, “grow up, Ryosuke”

“Inoo-chan, I couldn’t grow up anymore” Ryosuke said, faking a cry and making the others laughs.

<center><i>This house... I think I will get accustomed with this lifestyle soon, everyone here are so nice
and friendly

And...

</i></center>

“Yuto-senpai” Ryosuke gives him a plate of cake while smiling to him,

<center><i>he is here...
My dearest</i></center>

a/n: too short? Nah~ it’s okay deshou, just go to the next chapter XD</lj-cut>

<b>Title:</b> Save you <br><br /><b>Author:</b> <lj user="Yurikamome19"> <br><br

/><b>Pairing:</b> YutoYama, OkaYama <br><br /><b>Rating:</b> pg-13<br><br /><b>Genre:</b> AU,
ANGST

<center>chapter three

On your smile</center>

“Ichi~ where are you~” Ryosuke called out, crouching down and peeking under the couch, “ichi~”

“are you searching for something?” Yuto asked, he is just go out from the bathroom and finding Ryosuke
messing with the pillow on the couch in the living room.

“un, my cat. His fur color is brown and he wears a necklace with strawberry pendant, did you see it
senpai? He hates being with other people but me and never going outside, I wonder where is he”
Ryosuke said, looks so worried.

“wait a minute, I’ll change my clothes and help you to search for him” he said then going upstairs to his
room. Yuto is slipping his green t-shirt to his body when he feels something snuggling on his feet, “aakh”
he screams unconsciously and falls back on his bed, eyeing the attacker who startled him just now.

“nya~” the attacker...is a cat?! The cat, which is undoubtly Ryosuke’s is jumping on his bed and snuggling
to his legs, yearning to be spoiled.

“Yuto-senpai, what happened?!” Ryosuke banged the door open, looking at Yuto and the thing on his
hand, “Ichi~” he sighed in relief and scooting closer to them. However, the cat whose named is Ichi
didn’t move from Yuto’s hand and keep snuggling to him, “eh? Ichi, you cheater. How could you ignore
me and snuggling to Yuto-senpai?!” the younger guy said, quite shocked because his cat didn’t bulge
when he is calling him.

“it seems like he likes me” Yuto chuckles, gently scratching ichi’s neck.

“un, I thought so. But it’s weird, he is usually didn’t want anyone to touch him. ah!” Ryosuke suddenly
exclaimed, remembered something,

“hm?” Yuto tilted his head in wonder,

“Yuto-senpai, ichi is the cat which I saved from the tree in my first day at school. Maybe he remembered
you, because you saved us when we fell. Ne, ichi” Ryosuke caressing Ichi’s stomach, the cat purring
happily under their touches.

Yuto staring lovingly to Ryosuke who is playing with his cat on his bed, sitting so close in front of him. he
could smell his fresh shampoo, so intoxicating...

<i>can’t we stay like this forever? just me and you...</i>

“ah~ what are both of you doing there~” Hikaru, who is walking pass Yuto’s opened room said
mischevously grinning to them,

“nothing, just playing with ichi” Ryosuke answered while picking up his cat, showing it to Hikaru,

“aaagh, cat!!!!!” Hikaru screamed and walking back downstairs,

“Hikaru-kun hates cat” Ryosuke giggles, informing Yuto, “but I love to see his reaction” he added,
holding ichi on his arms and running to Hikaru,

“Yamada Ryosuke! you chibi demon!” Hikaru screamed when Ryosuke running behind him with ichi on
his arms, the brown haired guy laughing happily and following wherever Hikaru goes.

Yuto just watching them from the second floor, laughing a bit. this is the first time he saw Ryosuke
laughing freely like that, and he found his other side he never knew before that Ryosuke is quite a brat
and cheerful type. Back then in high school, his hurted and sour face was the only thing he often saw.

“Ryosuke, stop teasing Hikaru. He will having nightmare tonight and sneaking into my room” Yabu
shouted from the kitchen,

“hai~” Ryosuke answered obediently and leaving Hikaru who is curling up on the couch, hiding his face
with a pillow.

“you love him?” a deep voice coming from Yuto’s back, surprising him who is watching Ryosuke who
plays with ichi on the garden. He turns his back and finds Ryutaro staring straight into his eyes as if
looking through inside his heart.

“I – I -“ Yuto didn’t know how to answer that question. He loves Ryosuke, but didn’t have any confidence
or courage to say it. The younger’s eyes looking straight at him, waiting for his answer.

“coward” Ryutaro bluntly said when he didn’t answer him, his word piercing deeply inside, “you know, I
hate you because you’re that bastard Keito’s bestfriend. He keeps playing with that stupid Ryosuke’s
heart and I hate it so much. Don’t come closer to Ryosuke if your feeling is half-hearted” the younger
boy said, walking down the stairs and joining Ryosuke who is feeding ichi in the garden.

“Ryo-chan, no matter how many times you try to give ichi your strawberry milk he won’t drink that. cut
it out” Ryutaro said, laughing beside Ryosuke who is trying to share his strawberry milk with his cat.
That’s when Yuto realized that the cold sinister but mature boy Ryutaro laughing like the boy in his age
only when he is near Ryosuke. He loves him. There is no doubt about that.

<i>but really, it’s so easy to love Yamada Ryosuke</i>

Flashback

“N-nakajima-kun...p-please date with me” a short cute girl in twin-tail bowing her head in front of him,
confessing her love. Yuto knew her, she was the girl who everyone called as the cutest in their school.

“gomennasai” Yuto answered, bowing deeply and rejected her. How could he agree to date with her if
there was someone own his whole heart? that there was someone he could only thinking about. The
girl run away with tears flowing on her cheeks, he felt so sorry for her...but he couldn’t do anything.

“Yuto-senpai! Meeting time!” Ryosuke shouted from the office on the second floor, smiling like a sun in
autumn, soft and warm but strong enough to make his heart fluttering. He loves him, so much.
Eventhough some girls was pursuing his love, confessed to him and he wanted to erase his feeling and
move on...whenever he saw that smile he lost his previous determination. He was only want him, his
heart only could love him, no one else but him.

<i>Yeah, I couldn’t do anything with this feelings

No one can replace you,</i>

End of flashback

“Don’t think too much about Ryutaro’s sinister to you, he acts like that to everyone who get closer to
Ryosuke” his senpai, Arioka Daiki said to him when they’re going to their college. “that kid, he loves
Ryosuke since they were a child”

“they’re childhood friends?” he asked,

“you can say that. Ryuu’s family is rich, they have been supporting the orphanage where Ryosuke lived
before and even secretly helping him to pay the school’s tuition when he was out from that institution
soon after his 16th birthday”

“orphanage?” Yuto couldn’t hide his shock. He is never think that Ryosuke was living in orphanage
before, he seemed like an ordinary boy from a good family.

“you didn’t know? Ryosuke didn’t have any parents, I mean, he didn’t know who are his parents.
Someone left him at the orphanage when he was still a baby and he was living there until he entered
high school and started living in the share house with Ryuu. Poor boy, he must be suffered a lot and now
he is dating your so called bestfriend in high school who is playing around with him”

“How did you know all of that?”

“I said that Ryuu is a rich kid right? That kid asked some private detectives to investigating Keito after he
saw Ryosuke went home with bruises on his wrists. Ryutaro was mad like hell but Ryosuke begged him
to not doing anything to Keito, he said he loves him and didn’t want to lose him. Stupid Ryosuke” Daiki
clicked his tongue, irritated just by remembering that day. He had been living with Ryosuke for almost
three years there and he is already considering him and the others as his own brothers.

“I didn’t know anything about him...” Yuto muttered lowly and sighing heavily. He thought that he knew
everything about Ryosuke, what he loves what he hates...that’s because he was always watching him
back then. But, under those smiles he loves the most, he didn’t know that Ryosuke has that kind of past.
He is mad with himself, why he didn’t realize it, his pain and sufferings. Then Keito, he didn’t get in touch
with him since they graduated from high school, their friendship was slowly breaking after that rooftop
incident after all and they entered different university. He didn’t know anything at all.

“Yama-chan, did he enter the same university with Keito?” he asked Dai-chan,

“No, Ryosuke got the scholarship in different collage. But they meet each other a lot, sometimes
Ryosuke would go home with a pained looks and sometimes he would go home with bright smile
plastered on his face. I and all of us in the house are really didn’t know what we should do, we are so
happy to see his smiling face but when it turned to his sad face...it’s really complicated for us the
spectators and surely a lot more for Ryosuke”

“sorry”

“why are you apologizing? It’s not your fault if your friend is an asshole”

“but...”

<i>I should not let them together, I should confess to him when we met for the first time that day. I
should not giving him up to Keito. I should snatch him away before it’s too late</i>

“what we can do now is watching over him and praying that the day when he will open his eyes and find
someone else better than Keito to come”

“all of you are really taking care of him ne” he said, so touched with their good relationship.

“of course we are, he is a nice boy, never shows his tears to us although he must be suffering a lot. he
deserves a better person to love him, and should stop clinging on that destructive relationship” Daiki
said.

***
Living with people who has different characters and personalities is not as hard as Yuto thought before,
everyone in the house are so kind and they’re getting along so well. Yuto is already living there for a
good five months now, everyday was filled with smile and sometimes whining of some people who got a
hard time with test, homework or anything that troubling the ordinary university students. Ryosuke,
who is living in the room in front of his, is one of them. He mostly stayed up until the morning to get his
homework done, he is an architecture student, Inoo-chan’s kouhai. But because his brain isn’t as good
as the pretty guy, he works twice harder than him.

Yuto knew it, because he sometimes heard a soft mumbles from the room in front of his, chanting some
words he couldn’t understand. He thought that probably Ryosuke was trying to remember something
for a test. Sometimes when he was going to the bathroom in the middle of night and caught Ryosuke’s
room slightly open, he would find Ryosuke slept on his study table with ichi sleeping beside his head. at
a time like that he would carefully lift his body and lied it properly on his bed. he is glad with only
looking at him and his smile everyday, he shouldn’t be selfish and ask for more. Because Ryosuke... his
heart is already taken by Keito, his ex-bestfriend.

<i>I won’t ask anything to God, I just want to watch over him, to see him happy and it’s enough</i>

He really thinks like that, but it was before today’s incident that made him want to snatch him away
from Keito.

“open your eyes Yama-chan, he didn’t worth your love! You just torturing yourself by being with him!
can’t you see that everyone are worrying about you?” he said to the boy who seems didn’t want to
listen to him. “he doesn’t love you”

<i>he doesn’t, but I do</i>

Flashback

It was a nice day in the end of summer holiday, all the share house members decided to watch a movie
together in the movie theatre. It was a perfect day for Yuto, he could spend a full day with Ryosuke who
had been spending his holiday in Keito’s mansion for weeks. His kouhai came back to the share house
yesterday and Dai-chan pulled out a plan to watch a movie together because he came back home.
everything was going so perfect and all of them were having fun, chatting about the movie they watched
earlier in the cafe while eating the lunch.

“when he wrecked that villain’s head, I was so shocked!” Hikaru exclaimed exaggeratedly,

“yeah and you gripped my hand too tight, it might break” Takaki who was sitting beside Hikaru in the
cinema answered while examining his hand.

“couldn’t help, Yabu’s hand is too skinny and I couldn’t grip to his” Hikaru said, glancing to Yabu

“do you mean that I’m fat?”

“I didn’t say that, just a little bit chubby here” Hikaru stabbed Takaki’s stomach with his fore finger,
“I’m better than your skinny boyfriend”

“I agree with that, don’t be mad” Hikaru said, grinning.

The others were laughing at their antics, Ryosuke was chuckling happily with them and there was
nothing more precious than that. They were walking to the station together when Ryosuke suddenly
running to a car in front of an office building. His ex-bestfriend, Okamoto Keito was in his red car,
wearing sunglasses while talking on his phone, didn’t see Ryosuke who was running closer to him.

“Keito” the excited voice of him was really hurting him,

<i>jealousy</i>

Keito turned his face to Ryosuke and turned off his phone, just when Ryosuke was about to say
something again a woman opens the door of the passenger seat and kissed Keito’s cheek, “sorry to
make you wait” the woman said,

“it’s okay, if it’s for you” Keito answered.

He didn’t know what kind of face that Ryosuke was made at that time, he and the others just standing
some feet away from them, desperately holding their emotion and let Ryosuke handle that by himself.

“who is he? Your friend?” the woman asked to Keito, mentioning Ryosuke who was standing beside the
car,

“No, my kouhai in high school” Keito said lightly,

and that was when Ryutaro snapped and walking closer to the car with his hand clutching firmly, ready
to give some hard punch to Keito, “you bastard” he shouted angrily and no one stopping him because
actually the others wanted to do the same,

Ryosuke turned his back and holding on Ryutaro’s hand, his body slightly trembling and the tears
brimming on his eyes, “please don’t, Ryuu” he begged with a wavering voice but still trying to smile.
Ryutaro cursed,

“what’s with that people” the woman said,

“I don’t know” Keito answered,

Ryosuke turned his body to Keito again and said, “gomen senpai, I disturbed your date. Nice to meet
you” he bowed his head then dragging Ryutaro away from there.

“Ryo-chan!” Everyone were following them but he still standing there, glaring to Keito. His eyes met his
ex-bestfriend’s before he drove away his car, sending a message without words that he would protect
Ryosuke from anything.

***
“where are you going?” Ryuu asked when he sees Ryosuke walking pass the living room where everyone
are watching TV together at night,

“chotto – “ Ryosuke answered vaguely and Ryutaro stands up from the couch, dragging Ryosuke back
upstairs to his room. “Ryuu, let me go” Ryosuke is struggling to break away from the younger but
Ryutaro is gripping his wrist tightly. A loud bang of closed door echoing in the house after that.

“he must be want to go to Keito’s place” Hikaru said,

“undoubtly, he got a call from him earlier” Inoo responded,

“stupid Ryosuke, after what had happened this afternoon... I can’t believe he still forgive him” Daiki said,

“someone go upstairs to calm Ryuu down, he looks so mad just now” Chinen said, asking someone
because if he is who talking with Ryuu now the younger won’t listen to him.

“that’s okay, Ryuu will never hurt Ryosuke” Yabu said, ruffling Chinen’s hair, assuring the shorter.

“yeah, we got this same situation several times before and it would end with Ryuu lecturing Ryosuke
and locking him up in the house” Takaki said, assuring the worried Chinen.

“wait, so Keito is still playing around behind Ryosuke? since when?” He asked, he thought his bestfriend
is already treasuring Ryosuke since then.

“no, that bastard doing that openly in front of Ryosuke. He didn’t even try to hide it. If Ryosuke begging
to him to stop playing around and love him only that asshole will hurt him. We’re already get enough of
it, because sometimes he came home with bruises on his cheeks or arms” Daiki said,

“why all of you didn’t ask for police help?” He asked, the anger starts building up in him. Keito hurted
Ryosuke, physically and mentally for more than once and he is really can’t forgive that.

“we did Yuto, when it happened for the third time we did ask for police’s help” Hikaru said, “we did but
Ryosuke didn’t say anything to them, saying that it was an accident and it had no relation with Keito at
all” the blonde added,

“and after that, he was begging to us, kneeling on our feet to never do that again. He said he loves him
and he is really can’t stay alive without him. He said that Keito is the only one that he has, just like the
first time we knew Keito hurted him” Takaki said,

“it’s stupid. he said he can’t live without him but actually it’s killing him slowly to be with him, literally”
Chinen said,

“but minna, no matter how much we’re telling him to break up with Keito it won’t work unless Ryosuke
himself who is willing to do it. He isn’t a child that we can lock in the house to protect him from
something. He is an adult and he will find his way back to his boyfriend eventhough we’re locking him up
in the house. What we can do is hoping that he realizes that Keito isn’t worth his love” Yabu said,
“yeah, let’s leave the speech part to Ryuu. Hope he can make Ryosuke to realize that” Inoo said, looking
upstairs to Ryosuke’s room where yelling and shouting flowing out until the living room.

“that will be long, better leave them alone and sleep now” Chinen said then walking upstairs to his
room,

Yuto is walking upstairs too, stopping for a moment in front of his door, looking to Ryosuke’s room. the
door is closed and it’s only Ryuu’s voice which he can hear. Ryosuke probably just listening while
hugging his knees on the bed.

Inside his room he faintly can hear Ryuu’s voice, lecturing Ryosuke to break up with Keito. he didn’t hear
Ryosuke’s voice retorting back, probably he is thinking and registering everything the younger boy is
saying to him. he just prays that this time, Ryosuke will leave his ex-bestfriend for real. Yuto hears a
sound of slammed door, “do anything you want! I don’t care about you anymore!” Ryuu’s shout
followed, it seems like the youngest boy couldn’t convince Ryosuke to break up with Keito.

Yuto’s hand holding on his room’s door knob, contemplating to open the door and go to Ryosuke’s room
to talk with him. he didn’t know what he should talking about, but Ryosuke must be very sad because
Ryuu said that harsh thing to him, though it was certainly not serious, because he knew Ryuu is the one
who care about Ryosuke the most.

He slowly opens the door of his room and knocking on Ryosuke’s room door, a small box of strawberry
milk on his other hand. there is no answer from Ryosuke and he thought that he secretly had gone to
Keito’s house. He opens the door panicly and sighing gladly when he finds Ryosuke sitting on his bed,
dazing out to the window. the shorter boy turns his head, looking at him “senpai?” he called out, his
voice is hoarse and he was sure Ryosuke was crying before he came here.

“are you okay?” he asked, scooting closer to the bed where he sits. Ryosuke nods while smiling bitterly,
trying to cover his sadness. He is already get enough of his forcing smile, it hurts to see him like that.

“Ryuu didn’t mean it. you know he just worried about you. you should listen to him” he said,

“and leave Keito?” Ryosuke lifted up his head, looking at him, “I can’t” he added.

“Yama-chan, Keito doesn’t love you as much as you love him. he always hurts you and you shouldn’t
stay with him, for your own sake”

“but he is the only one I have” he answered. the jealousy suddenly filled up his heart, he reached for his
shoulder and shaking it,

“open your eyes Yama-chan, he didn’t worth your love! You just torturing yourself by being with him!”
he said to the boy who seems didn’t want to listen to him. “he doesn’t love you!”

<i>please, look at me!</i>

End of flashback

“you have so many people around you, don’t say that you only have him” he said, Ryosuke didn’t
answer him and just looking away from his eyes. his voice didn’t reach him at all.

“how could you say that he loves you if he always hurts you? if you keep acting like this and close your
eyes, you will never realize that they’re so many people love you. Ryuu, Dai-chan, Inoo-kun, Yabu-kun,
Hikaru-kun, Takaki-kun, Chinen, and me...all of us love you. that’s why we hate it when we saw you
being hurted.”

“are you really want to lose us just for him? do you really want his love that much?” Ryosuke still didn’t
answer him. it feels hurt that Ryosuke still chooses Keito, he couldn’t take it anymore, Ryosuke didn’t
want to hear anything. he is stubborn and blinded by his love to Keito. He puts the box of milk on the
table and walks away from Ryosuke. but he feels something hold his shirt when he takes a step away,

“senpai, onegai...don’t leave me” Ryosuke said, tugging on his shirt with his trembling hand. A drop of
tears rolling down his cheek, he is looking at him with desperate looks and he couldn’t bring himself to
leave him. This is the first time he witnessing his tears, he looks so fragile and hurted. He takes his hand
and pulls his body onto his, hugging him tightly.

“tell me where I did it wrong senpai” Ryosuke grips to his shirt, wetting it with his tears he had been
holding on for so long, “why Keito couldn’t love only me. Am I too selfish for wanting to have him for
myself? I’ve been letting him do anything he wants, I pretended to not realize that he is cheating on me,
I’ve been convince myself that everytime he did harsh things to me it was something unintentional, I
always believe that he will change. Is it because I’m not a girl? is it because I couldn’t give what girls can
give?” the boy in his arms cried out, the pain he had been carrying since he knew a guy named Okamoto
Keito, “it hurts senpai, I love him...but it hurts when I knew that he doesn’t love me as much as I love
him” Ryosuke looks up to him, his cheeks are so wet of tears and his eyes showing how deep the wound
in his heart “tell me how to forget him, senpai. Help me to erase him from my mind, even if it’s just a
second”

<i>that’s my only wish...

To make you forgetting him,

To stop you from getting hurt,

To protect you forever...</i>

***

Yuto is cupping those wet cheeks and bringing Ryosuke’s lips to meet his in a sweet desperate kiss. The
shorter boy is stunned, shocked with the sudden kiss, his eyes shot open and he doesn’t move even an
inch. Yuto keeps kissing Ryosuke, he knew that he might be taking a chance when Ryosuke is feeling
down, but his body moved itself and kissed him. This is the only way he could do to make Ryosuke stops
thinking about Keito and focusing his mind to him, he doesn’t care anymore if Ryosuke will hate him. At
least, at least he is thinking about him and not Keito now.

<i>I’m so low, I know it’s wrong, to force you like this

But I feel so happy that I can kiss you,

That I can feel your lips, at last.

Yuto licks Ryosuke’s lower lip, and sucking on it. his heart feels hurt, because the younger boy just keeps
silent and the tears still rolling down his cheeks. He is about to let his soft lips go and apologize for the
one-sided kiss when Ryosuke suddenly sneaking his hands to his neck and holding him on place. Ryosuke
opens his mouth, letting him pushing his tongue inside that warm cavern. The kiss is slowly heating up,
Yuto pushes Ryosuke’s body to the bed with their mouths still connected, feeling every inch of each
other’s lips.

<center>tell me my love, if it’s just a dream or reality

Tell me if it’s the truth and you’re right here with me now

</center>

Yuto feels his body burning with something he never felt before, he wants more, he wants to feel him
more. His logic and cowardice mind went somewhere since he had his lips under his own, his long buried
feelings to Ryosuke overflowing and controlling him. he brings his mouth to Ryosuke’s neck, kissing and
licking on the sensitive spot. The shorter boy gasping softly, closing his eyes and feeling the tingling
kisses on his neck. His moans makes Yuto even wanting more, he slipping his hand under Ryosuke’s
shirt, skimming the soft flesh under his palm. He flicks his nipple with his thumb and the younger boy
gasps out loud, hugging his neck tighter.

<center>tell me that you want me and I’ll give you everything</center>

The earlier cold room now feels so hot, Yuto pulling out Ryosuke’s shirt and discarding it on the floor,
along with his shirt, then he once again kissing those wet irresistible lips passionately. His hands now
roaming freely on Ryosuke’s torso, moving up and down, didn’t leave any single inch untouched.

“senpai...” Ryosuke moaned when Yuto palmed his pants, he is moaning more when Yuto moving his
hand on his most sensitive part, “ah... senpai” he leaning down and showering his face with light loving
kisses while working his hand on Ryosuke’s bulge, earning more moans and gasps from the shorter boy,
“senpai...onegai...” Ryosuke begged, and Yuto is willingly complying. He is pulling down his pants and
the black boxers underneath it, he then leans down to kiss his feet, showing how much he loves and
adores him. Slowly, he is taking his lips higher to his thigh, giving chaste kisses along the way.

His mouth finally finds the junction of Ryosuke’s legs, he takes his mouth to Ryosuke’s member, licking it
from the base to the tip, “senpai...don’t” Ryosuke said between his moans, but it didn’t stop him to take
the younger’s length into his mouth, “senpai...” Ryosuke curling up his leg and moaning quite loud. He is
sliding his mouth up and down to that soft and thick flesh, Ryosuke is moaning while wriggling on the
bed and saying ‘senpai’. His ears are longing to hear him moaning his name but he shouldn’t asking too
much from him, he is just a ‘senpai’ for him, even now...

<center>I’m a fool, foolishly in love with you

Only you, my dearest</center>

But...just for tonight, he wants him to say his name, to let it being resonated on his ears and imprinted
on his mind. only for tonight, he wants to be the selfish Nakajima Yuto and not always-acts-as-a-good
senpai for Ryosuke, “say my name” he whispered on his ear and sucking on his earlobe, his hand is doing
the job his mouth was doing earlier, moving up and down on Ryosuke’s member.

The younger boy is hugging close his neck, burying his face on his shoulder while moaning softly, “Yu-
Yuto senpai” he said. Yuto’s heart feels like floating in the air, he feels so happy to hear him said his
name.

“once more” Yuto asked, pulling his face to look at him,

“Yuto-senpai” Ryosuke said in a low hoarse voice, it sounds so intoxicating in Yuto’s ears. The younger
boy leaning closer to his face and captures his lips, Yuto answering the kiss hungrily, making Ryosuke
breathless. His hand back to his job earlier, taking Ryosuke in surprise and making him gasps between
the kiss, “onegai...Yuto-senpai” the shorter boy begged desperately, his eyes telling him that he wants
more. Yuto stops his hand job on Ryosuke’s member and moving down to his hole, pushing one finger
inside. “akh-“ Ryosuke groans in pain and he is so worried if he hurted him, this is his first time doing it
and he is doing it with his dearest person he never wants to hurt.

“gomen,” Yuto apologized then slowly retreating his finger, Ryosuke catches his hand and looking up to
him,

“please continue” Ryosuke said,

Yuto kissed his forehead, “tell me if you want to stop” he said, earning a nod from the shorter boy. the
second finger is added inside, Ryosuke gripping tight on the bedsheet and biting on his lower lip. Yuto is
trying to ease the pain he feels by kissing him on the mouth while he slides his fingers in and out
Ryosuke’s hole. The younger boy groaning between the kisses, weighing his heart with guilty of making
him in such a pain. But he couldn’t stop, Ryosuke’s whimpers and moans are something to die for. He
wants him, more of him...
“I’ll going in” he whispered in his ear, Ryosuke nods weakly and burying his face on his neck. He puts
himself in, slowly and gently, he feels Ryosuke muffling his groans on his neck and unconsciously
scraping his back with his nails. His muscles are tensing down there, tightly trapping his member inside,
“ugh...relax...” Yuto groans to the tightness around him, he is nibbling on his earlobe, trying to make him
relax. He doesn’t move and keep kissing him around his neck, waiting for him to be more relax around
him. Ryosuke’s breath is heavy and hot on his neck, sending a strange feeling inside his stomach, raising
up his desire to claim his inside.

After a couple of minutes, he feels that Ryosuke starts to relax around him. the shorter boy running his
lips on his neck and whispers, “please continue” in a low addicting voice. He is slowly easing out his shaft
inside him, then pushing it inside again tenderly. “senpai...” Ryosuke moaned in his ear, his world now is
spinning around the boy underneath him. the pleasure he is getting now is beyond his imagination, it
feels better and better with every move he makes. Ryosuke may feel the same because he moans more
in his ear, he is quickening his pace, slamming faster into Ryosuke’s hole. The younger boy is moaning
and writhing uncontrollably below him, his sweat glimmering on his face and body. Yuto thinks that he is
so beautiful, how he wishes that tomorrow will never come, so he will own him like this...forever.

Yuto is moving himself in and out fast while scrutinizing on Ryosuke’s face, his eyes closed tightly and it
hurts him a lot.

<i>are you thinking of him? under those closed eyes...are you imagining him?</i>

Their entwined body feels so good, he can’t deny that his body loves it. but his heart feels like being torn
apart. He brings his hand to caressing his cheek, begging him to look at him. <i>only for tonight...can you
look at me? even it’s just for a second</i> he prays on his heart, leaning down and claiming his lips.

“senpai!” Ryosuke arched his back when his member reached a certain spot inside his hole, he turns his
head to the left and right everytime he is hitting that spot. He feels a bit glad that it’s not only him who
feels good with their intimacy, he is rocking his hips faster and keeps hitting that spot, driving the
shorter to the peak. Ryosuke moans loud when he comes, his body is shaking on the bed. he follows him
a couple of minutes later, bursting his sticky substance inside Ryosuke’s hole then collapsing beside him.

His kouhai’s breath is still irregular and heavy, sweat makes his face sparkling prettily. he is circling his
arms around the smaller figure in front of him, feeling his warmth against his body. He wishes the same
wish once again, that he wants tomorrow to never come so he will have him on his arms like now...

Ryosuke is fast asleep in his arms, too tired of crying and the sex they did earlier. Watching to his
peaceful sleeping face, it makes Yuto feels like he is the happiest guy on earth. He really wants to
protect him...because he loves him...so much.

<center>God, I want the time to stop right here

Right now,
 With him beside me,

Forever.</center>

But...

<center>I know you love him

That’s the tragic truth that makes me suffer

Makes my heart torn apart

Will you leave me when the morning comes?

Will you say that it was a mistake?

Please, don’t

I hope that you will say the opposite</center>

is he feel the same?

He can’t close his eyes and sleep that night, watching to Ryosuke’s sleeping face and engraving it to his
mind. what will Ryosuke say when he realized that he had sex with him? He is sure that Ryosuke was not
in his right mind when they were doing that. but for him...it was the best memory in his whole life, a
bitter-sweet memory.

The morning light sneaking between the curtains, it shines on his sleeping face. Yuto is carefully
brushing his bangs from his forehead, staring lovingly to his dearest. His heart feels so anxious,
wondering if the shorter boy will hate him because he took a chance to have sex with him when he was
feeling down and most likely not in his right mind. It was a pure coincidence that he was there when he
was feeling so down and fragile, he was coincidentally there to give him the love and warmth he
needed. In other word, Yuto believes that it can be called that he raped him, taking a chance when
Ryosuke was not in his right mind...he is the lowest person.

He feels Ryosuke is stirring on the bed then slowly flutters open his eyes and glances up to him. Those
eyes shot opens when he saw his face, Ryosuke unconsciously screams and fastly shoves his chest,
making a distance between them. the younger is crawling back on the bed with his eyes telling him that
it was a mistake, that he regretted it. Yuto is about to open his mouth when the door banging open,
Ryutaro is standing on the door with a worried face, his eyes turning from Ryosuke who is sitting on the
corner of the bed with a pale face to him who is stiffened on the other side of the bed.
“what did you do to him?!” Ryutaro dashing to his side and throws a punch to his face, making him fall
back to the floor. Yuto feels that he deserved that punch and just letting the younger boy throwing
another fist to his face,

“Ryuu!” Ryosuke’s voice interrupted and Ryutaro turns his face to the brown haired boy,

“don’t protecting this bastard!” he barked,

“You’re wrong, Yuto-senpai...I was the one in fault. Everything, everything was not like you had
imagined” Ryosuke said,

“don’t try to fool me!” Ryutaro shouted. Everything should be clear on the younger’s eyes, they were
both get nothing on their bodies, on the bed and Ryosuke’s scream. It’s not difficult to predict what had
happened.

“I’m not..., it was really my fault. Yuto-senpai did nothing wrong” the brown haired boy said, gripping on
Ryuu’s shirt so he won’t do anything to him while his other hand holding on the bed sheet, covering his
body. “gomen senpai, can you leave my room?” Ryosuke said, didn’t even look at him and just hanging
low his head. He nods, collecting his clothes on the floor then going out from his room, closing the door
behind him. A painful tears rolling down his cheeks, nothing is more painful than watched Ryosuke’s
regretful expression when he opened his eyes earlier. He regretted it, he regretted and denied
everything that had happened between them.

<i>what I expect? A miracle that he would say he loves me when he opened his eyes?</i> he couldn’t
say that he didn’t expect that. he wants him to only look at him and no one else, he wants him to just be
his. but it’s impossible...in the end, he means nothing on Ryosuke’s eyes.

<b>Title:</b> Untitled (yet) <br><br /><b>Author:</b> <lj user="Yurikamome19"> <br><br

/><b>Pairing:</b> YutoYama, OkaYama <br><br /><b>Rating:</b> pg-13<br><br /><b>Genre:</b> AU,
ANGST

<center>Chapter four

Final</center>

A week after that morning was passed like a hell for Yuto, Ryosuke was never look at his eyes whenever
they were accidentally meet in the kitchen or eating together with the others. Ryutaro was glaring at
him more than before and it made everyone in the house questioning why they were acting strange but
the three of them didn’t say even a word. The others didn’t know what had happened and Yuto is glad
they didn’t. He wouldn’t take it if everyone hates him, he didn’t want that. The only one thing that made
him happy was that Ryosuke announced to the others that he wouldn’t meet with Keito again and try to
forget him. He knew it didn’t related with his and Ryosuke’s ‘accident’ that night, it was pure the
younger boy’s decision. But still, he couldn’t stop his heart to make an impossible wish and want him to
fall in love with him. It is impossible, but he wants to clinging onto that slightest chance.

“oi, who is the one who got a kitchen duty today? The fridge is empty!” Takaki shouted from the
kitchen,

“Sunday deshou, then it should be Yuto and Ryosuke” Daiki answered, pointing to him who is watching
TV in the living room and Ryosuke who seems like didn’t hear Daiki’s voice and keeps playing with Ichi
on the garden, outside the living room.

“gomen, I’ll go buy it now” Yuto stood up from the couch and going upstairs to change his clothes and
buy the groceries for today’s kitchen duty. He expected to go alone without Ryosuke or with Ryutaro as
Ryosuke’s bodyguard, because there is no way Ryutaro will let Ryosuke to go alone with him. But when
he is going out the house he finds Ryosuke waiting for him outside, tugging up his lips a little and forcing
a smile. “you didn’t have to go with me, I’ll do the errands by myself” he said, fully understand that the
younger is forcing himself. Ryosuke shakes his head and saying that he will go because it’s his duty too.

Yuto is confuse why Ryutaro didn’t go with them when suddenly he remembered that he heard
someone talking that the owner of the house was going out early in the morning because he got a
project in his school. The shopping time passing in silence because he didn’t know what to say to
Ryosuke, the younger emitting an aura that he shouldn’t bother him too, that’s why he closed his mouth
and let the silence enveloping them.

After bought all the kitchen’s necessities they’re walking back to the house with a shopping bag on each
of their hands. It’s just about one block away to the share house when suddenly a familiar voice called
Ryosuke’s name, Keito’s voice.

“Ryo-chan” the stiff voice come behind them and Ryosuke immediately stopped on his track. The
shorter is just standing there and he is wishing that he will keep walking and ignoring Keito.

<i>don’t turn back, please</i>

But his wish is broke up when Ryosuke slowly turning his back, looking to Keito. He turns his back to,
looking at his ex-bestfriend he didn’t meet for quite long time. Keito is still the same, looks so great and
confidence as if he is the owner of the world.

He is, he is the owner of <i>his</i> world...

“Ryo-chan, come back to me” he said with a way more demanding tone than begging. His ex-bestfriend
is never beg to people.

Yuto glances to Ryosuke who is slightly trembling, with his tears threatening to falling down. His fingers
couldn’t hold the shopping bags anymore and they slipped from his hands to the hard pavement. “I – “
Ryosuke opened his mouth,
“you said that you love me, then why did you leave me? Accept everything about me and always there
when I need you” Keito said. Hearing that, Ryosuke biting his bottom lip and takes a step forward to
Keito’s side,

“don’t” Yuto holds on his wrist, begging. He could do nothing but begging,

<i>No, please don’t come back to him</i>

“get your hand off him!” Keito shouted, grabbing Yuto’s wrist and shoving Ryosuke behind his back, “I
told you, don’t you ever touch him!” he grabbed his collar, glaring to his eyes.

“Keito, stop it” Ryosuke tugging on Keito’s arm, begging him to stop strangling him.

“I can’t let him go” Yuto said, glaring back. He didn’t know where he got that courage to spill his feelings
in front of Ryosuke. But he can’t let Ryosuke to go with Keito, he didn’t want to regret it again, he want
to fight for his love, “I can’t let him go with you because I love - ”

A hard punch landed on his face before he finished his sentence and Ryosuke is about to go over him but
Keito grabs his hand, “let’s go” he said. Ryosuke is glancing at him with an apologetic eyes. His cheek
feels sting but the bitter ache in his heart far greater than that when he saw Ryosuke’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Yuto-senpai” Ryosuke said, holding back Keito’s hand and walking away with him.

his heart feels like being pierced with thousand needle, stinging painfully. In the end Ryosuke always
walks to Keito’s side...

“Ryosuke!” he shouted on his walking away back, but the younger boy didn’t turn to him and keep
walking. “Ryosuke you’re wrong! the one who is really love you will protect you, accept everything of
you, your selfishness, your mischievous, your sadness, your pain...you won’t be happy if you keep
holding your feelings just to make him happy. The real love is sharing everything, not sacrificing
yourself.” Yuto said, but Ryosuke can’t hear him anymore, “Ryosuke!” he called out desperately as the
tears falling down his cheeks.

<i>why...why are you still choose him?

Why?</i>

<center>***</center>

“Yuto – oh my God, what happened with your face?!” Daiki came closer and gasping in horror when he
saw his face. But he doesn’t care, all he feels is his painful heart. He is kneeling on the floor and breaks
out a cry, a heartbreaking cry. He wants to save Ryosuke, he wants to make him happy but he couldn’t.
Frustrating, it’s so frustrating for him, everything is bursting out from his heart. He loves him...he wants
to treasure him and he accept everything about him...but why?!

“why Dai-chan...why he still chooses him...” he cried out,

The older guy couldn’t answer that, love is a mysterious and illogical thing, Ryosuke choosed Keito
instead of Yuto who always treats him gently. Daiki really thinks that Ryosuke is stupid but he couldn’t
blame him too, everyone is stupid when they’re blinded by love and Ryosuke is the one of them. “get a
hold of yourself Yuto...let’s pray that this time he will find a true happiness with Keito, that he won’t
hurt him again” Daiki said, gently patting his back.

<center>***</center>

“he still didn’t pick his phone?” Yabu asked to Ryutaro,

“yeah,” Ryutaro answered, re-dialing Ryosuke’s number again. He got a news that Ryosuke was going
with Keito this afternoon and he got a bad feeling about that. Yuto is sitting outside the living room,
dazing out to the sky with ichi snuggling on his feet. His housemate members are talking about
something he couldn’t hear clearly, he didn’t care about that anymore. Everything is over for him and he
just wants the world to swallow him down.

“he sent a mail!” Ryutaro exclaimed and everyone are surrounding him. The youngest boy reads the
mail, loud enough for Yuto to hear.

<i>gomen, Ryuu, minna, I can’t leave Keito he is the only one that I have. He was the one that want me
for the first time in my life, me who are not wished by anyone, even by my parents...I don’t care if Keito
only wants to play with me, I’m just happy to be by his side because he is the first person who wanted
me, as myself. He is so alike with me, his parents are too busy with their work and he got nothing but
money from them. We’re same, yearning for someone to love us. But at the same time we’re also
different, Keito is seeking for love from anyone, my love isn’t enough for him. I know that, I deeply
understand that. That’s why I can’t leave him alone. I need him and I want to give him everything that I
have, I want to love him and fill his loneliness. We need each other. That’s why I’ll stay with him. I’m
sorry Ryuu, please don’t worry about me. Sayonara</i>

That was the last message from Ryosuke, before he and Keito were gone.

That dark and terrible days are going on and on, Yuto already lost count how many days had passed
after that. From the whispers he heard around the house, it seems like no one can get in touch with
Ryosuke. It’s like he is disappeared from the world with Keito. Ryutaro is so furious and worried more
than anyone in the house, they can’t do anything but praying for Ryosuke’s safety.

A month had passed, that’s what he realized when he saw Yabu flipped the calendar in the living room.
A month had passed without any news from Ryosuke. His phone is always turned off that’s why Ryutaro
can’t track it down. Both of Ryosuke or Keito didn’t attend to their university too, they were completely
disappeared since that afternoon.

Another month and another...still no news from Ryosuke or Keito. Everyone in the house starting to get
a bad feeling about this, even if they didn’t say what the’re thinking to each other but they’re always
watching news and their body slightly perked up when they heard some accident, suicide or murder
news on the TV. Ryosuke’s cat is also feel worried, he can’t stop walking around the house and meow-
ing with a sad sound since that afternoon. Ichi is definitely looking for his owner, Ryosuke.

***

“Yamada-san, Yamada-san” A woman in white coat running around the ward, looking for a certain
person. “Yamada-san, where are you going? You shouldn’t get out by yourself” she scolded Ryosuke
when she found him on the hospital’s garden, trying to get out of the building.

“gomennasai Takeuchi-sensei, but I need to meet someone” he answered,

“with that condition? You can’t even walk by yourself” the doctor said, pointing to the fact that he is
now rely on the wheelchair to get him out of the hospital. Not to mention the bandages all over his
body.

“I know. But I have to find him” Ryosuke said,

“your boyfriend? He is the one who did all of that to you yet you want to find him?” The doctor sighed
heavily, she couldn’t believe that such a guy exist in this world.

“he didn’t do this” Ryosuke denied,

“Yamada-san, no matter how much you denied it and said that you had fell from the stairs, the wounds
on your body told the truth. I can see that, it’s clearly Domestic Violence. Don’t cover him up anymore
and tell the truth to the police”

“gomen, sensei” that’s the only thing Ryosuke could say.

“Yamada-san, what’re you gonna do if you met him?”

“sensei, he is only have me. I can’t leave him all alone” Ryosuke smiled bitterly.

It’s been three weeks he didn’t meet Keito, after that night when the older was mad when he said he
wanted to go back to Tokyo. He couldn’t hold it anymore, 2 months ago Keito made a promise that he
would love only him, that they would live together only both of them far away from anyone’s reach. It
was going on perfect at first but he found out that Keito lied to him, he didn’t change at all. He had it
enough, the pain of being tormented when he demanded him to not hurt him anymore. He said that he
wanted to leave him, he had expected that Keito would be mad, but not to that extent.

“in the end you also leave me alone” he shouted on top of him, gripping so hard on his wrist,

“I won’t! I won’t leave you if you just change. It hurts whenever I see you with other girl, it hurts so
much and I can’t take it anymore”

“really? Don’t you just want to be together with Yuto?!” Accusation. Disbelief. Hurted. Anger. All of that
were reflected on keito’s eyes.
“No, it’s not. Yuto-senpai – “

“did you have sex with him?”

Ryosuke couldn’t asnwer that because he did that with Yuto, tears unconsciously flowing down from his
eyes and Keito could guess what had happened “both of you betrayed me,” he said, gritting his teeth.
Yuto promised him to not touching Ryosuke and Ryosuke promised him to never leave him. Yet they
were...

Betraying him.

“Keito – “ a harsh kiss landed on Ryosuke’s lips, shutted his mouth.

“you’re mine, mine!”

That night Keito forced himself on him and he let him do anything he wanted to his body if that was
what he wished but in the end he still hurted him. The neighbor found him badly injured in their
apartment the next morning and when he opened his eyes again he was already in the hospital.

After all that bad things happened to him, Ryosuke doesn’t know why he still wants to meet him. maybe
he wants to apologize, maybe he wants to break up with smile or maybe he just wants to be with him,
keep believing that he will change himself. “gomennasai, arigatou gozaimasu” Ryosuke said to some
people who carried him on wheelchair to ride the bus. Ryosuke is searching for Keito in their apartment
but he can’t find him there. He is then remember that Keito’s family owned a mansion in the little village
in the neighbor town so he is heading over there.

“Yamada-san” a butler of Keito’s family was so shocked to see him there,

“Hide-san, you’re with Keito here” he said. Quite glad because Keito wasn’t alone when he was
hospitalized.

“No, I just arrived with Okamoto-sama” the butler said,

Before Ryosuke can ask further a loud shout coming from inside the house,

“what’re you doing here? Leaving your university. Useless son, we gave you everything yet you still
acting like this?” a voice coming out from inside the house and Ryosuke hurriedly coming inside. A slap
landed on Keito’s cheek, the sound of it is enough to make Ryosuke’s heart aching for the older.

“onegai, don’t be mad at him” Ryosuke interrupted, moving his wheelchair closer to where Keito’s
father is standing. Keito’s eyes looking at the younger as if he couldn’t believe what he had seen. He is
really think that Ryosuke won’t come back to him.

“Ryo-chan, what are you – “

“this guy? Are you the one who make him like this?” Keito’s father grabbed on Ryosuke’s collar, makes
him wincing in pain.
“don’t touch him!” Keito shouted, slapping away his father’s hand.

“is that how you talk to your parents? We put you in the best schools, gave you the best education
everyone wanted, gave you a lot of money to you to spend but you always give us troubles. Where we
did it wrong? we did nothing wrong! Is everything we gave not enough for you? Or is this because you
hang out with this guy?! ” Keito’s father pointed to Ryosuke, glancing at him with his loathsome eyes.

“Don’t involve Ryo-chan at this,” Keito said,

“so you think that we didn’t give you enough? Everything is still not enough for you?!” Keito’s mom
asked,

“It’s wrong” Ryosuke cutted, shouting but his voice tremble in fear and tears. “Keito, he didn’t ask for all
of that. He doesn’t want those money, car, everything. He just wants both of you to be a normal
parents, having dinner with him, sharing stories“ Ryosuke broke out his cry. He knew it, that probably
Keito did all of that rebellious acts to make his parents look at him, noticing that he needs their love,
their attention. He knew it that from the start Keito just wants love that he didn’t get from his parents,
searching for it in everybody’s but his heart still didn’t get what he wants. Because him or any girls out
there isn’t his parents, the love that he wants isn’t their love. That’s why they can’t fill it, the hole inside
his heart.

“onegaishimasu” Ryosuke going down from his wheelchair, his broken bones stinging painfully when he
did so. He is kneeling in front of Keito’s father and mother, “please, please don’t ignore him anymore.
please take care of him. I’ll do anything, if you want me to break up with him I’ll do it. just please, please
promise me that you will hear him, please promise me that you will always there beside him. Keito
needs both of you. onegaishimasu” Ryosuke said, pressing his forehead on the floor as he kneeling
deeply. The unhealed wounds on his body knocking Ryosuke’s consciousness after that, he faints in front
of Keito’s parents feet.

“Ryo-chan – “ a tears falling from Keito’s eyes when he is holding the shorter’s body. He caressing his
bruised cheeks and regretting what he had done to him. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Ryo-chan” he is hugging
him tight, he is so stupid. Why he couldn’t see that all of this time Ryosuke is always there beside him,
listening to him, understanding his pain. Maybe he is the one who understand him more than himself.
But he hurted him, countless time.

When Ryosuke opens up his eyes he is already back to his room in the hospital, “you need something?”
Keito’s voice makes him turn his head to the source of it. Keito is standing beside his bed,

“Keito” he smiled, hand lifting up to reach him. Keito takes his hand, holding it tight.

“you’re okay?” Ryosuke asked and Keito feels that ache inside his heart. Ryosuke is still thinking about
him though he is the one who sick here.

“I’m okay” Keito answered, his voice is wavering because he is holding back his tears.
“yokatta” Ryosuke said, smiling gladly.

“why did you come back? you should leave me after what I’ve done to you” he said,

“I don’t know” Ryosuke answered, “I still want to ask you something, maybe that’s why”

“what’re you wanna ask?”

“do you love me? I promised to your parents to break up with you, I won’t break that promise. I just
want an honest answer, so I can getting through all of the pain in the future” Ryosuke said, eyes already
swimming in tears.

Keito’s mouth can’t produce a single word. He loves Ryosuke. He loves him since the beginning, but he
always treating him like a thing. Something that he can keep forever, something that won’t be broken
no matter how much he treated him bad. But Ryosuke is a human being, he has been hurting him for so
long. The younger is right, all of this time he has been seeking for his parents’ love but that goes to
Ryosuke too. Because he is the very first person who gave him love, that was why he loves him. Ryosuke
just so afraid of being left out, of being abandoned like his parents did.

If only, if only it was not him who ask him out first and other people did that instead, probably he is on
that person’s side right now. Ryosuke just wanted to be loved and he was there to give him what he
wanted. He wants to say that he loves him. But he knew he can’t. Their life won’t be easy, it will be a
long struggle to get his parents’s blessing and he didn’t want to make Ryosuke going through that
hardship. Besides that, he knew that there is someone that Ryosuke helplessly and unintentionally
wants, though he still didn’t realize that.

“I’m sorry” Keito finally said.

“un” Ryosuke shook his head, “thank you for everything” he said as tears streaming down his eyes, Keito
did a lot of bad things to him but even so he is also the very first person that he came to love. The very
first person who embracing him and made him happy. He is sobbing hard, wiping his tears with the back
of his left hand. Keito is still holding his right hand, and he wants to feel his warmth a little bit more,
“arigatou” he managed to say that and he can feel Keito is gripping on his hand. He is gripping it back,
tightly, doesn’t want to let go but he has to let him go.

“I’m sorry, Ryo-chan” Keito letting go his hand and caressing his wet cheek gently then kissing him softly
on the lips. “I’m sorry, take care” he said then walking out from the room.

Keito is walking away from Ryosuke’s room but stopped a step later, knocking his fist on the wall and
crying his heart out. Inside the room Ryosuke is also crying hard, curling up on the bed and holding on
his right hand to his lips where Keito’s warmth still linger there.

A week had passed after that, Ryosuke is released from the hospital and he is now walking aimlessly on
the park. He is still feel empty inside his heart and he is contemplating if he should go home or not.
There is a worry in his heart that no one wants him to come back, because he got them troubles so
much. He sighs hard and sitting down on the ground folding his knees and hugging it on his chest while
resting his chin there. Maybe he should stay here forever, looking for a job, starting a new life. Alone.

“Onii-san, want a milk?” a little boy suddenly appeared beside him, giving him a strawberry milk, the one
he always drinks since high school.

“for me?” Ryosuke pointed to himself and the boy nodded, “arigatou” he smiles at him and the boy
walking back, vanishing from his sight in the crowd. He stares to the little box of milk on his hand and
suddenly Yuto’s face flashing on his mind. His senpai always gave him this milk secretly everyday after
the student council meeting was over. He knew it, that Yuto has special feelings for him and he is happy
to receive his attention. But he loves Keito and didn’t think much about that. Leaving it as it is.

Ryuu’s face coming in sight after that, that kid probably waiting for him to come back. Yeah, he still has a
place to come back, “should I come back now?” he asked to himself, Ryuu probably will scold him all
night when he comes home. Ryosuke smiles to himself and walking back to the street, waiting for a bus
to the station. On the other side of the street Keito is staring to Ryosuke behind his car. Actually he was
the one who told a boy to give him that box of milk, to give him a message that he still has someone to
come back to.

“be happy, Ryo-chan” Keito said while staring to the guy who is sitting on the bus stop. The wind
swaying his honey-brown hair, still pretty as he always admires. The shorter guy is blowing to his own
hands then rubbing them together and Keito is really want to walk across the street and holding those
freezing hands, warming him up.

Ryosuke is stepping inside the bus and his eyes catches Keito’s on the other side of the street. He is
about to go down but Keito shakes his head, telling him to not go down. Because Keito knew it will be
hard for him or Ryosuke to let each other go if they’re stand close to each other. He probably will hold
him and change his mind. He raises his hand and waving to Ryosuke, forcing a smile.

<i>go, please go to your own way</i>

“wait!” Ryosuke said when the bus’s door is closing. He is going down from the bus and running over to
Keito,

“what are you doing?” Keito said when Ryosuke is standing in front of him, “why did you – “

“I don’t know” Ryosuke answered, “maybe because you made such a face” he cupped Keito’s cheeks,
smiling that smile which makes Keito feels like melting.

“you’re stupid” Keito said, pushing Ryosuke’s body to him, hugging him close. “stay with me for a little
while”

“un” Ryosuke answered, circling his arms around Keito’s back, inhaling his scent that he missed a lot.

***
The season has changed, the winter is right there, blowing its freezing breeze to everyone yet Yuto is
staying out in the veranda, laying his body weakly while dazing out to the sky. It’s cold, so cold until he
can feel the cold seeping to his bones. Ichi is snuggling to his arm, meowing as if asking about Ryosuke’s
whereabouts.

“Yuto, is he trying to kill himself? It’s so cold out there” Chinen said while curling up his knees on the
couch. Everyone are in the living room, watching the news while surrounding the heater, their only
weapon from the cold.

“probably” Daiki answered, Yuto seems didn’t have any source of energy to live after Ryosuke left him.
he went with Keito and it was like double slap on the face, Ryosuke rejected him and choosed Keito
instead.

Outside, Yuto is slowly closing his eyes, trying to remember Ryosuke’s face that he miss so much.

<i>”Yuto-senpai”</i> Ryosuke’s voice resonating in his heart, so soft and gentle. His heart is longing for
that voice, for the owner of that sweet voice. His mind recollecting the pieces of memory he had with
Ryosuke, their first met, his sleeping face in the student council’s office, the taste of his lips when he
stole a kiss from him, his sad face whenever he found Keito cheated on him, his mischievous twinkles on
his eyes when he was teasing Hikaru with ichi.

<i>Why love feels this hurt?</i>

<i>”Yuto-senpai”</i> his moans when they had sex that night, his begging looks, the way he was
clutching to his neck tightly, the softness of his lips...he remember it all too well, more than necessary
like everything is already imprinted both physically and emotionally on him.

<i>how should I forget them</i>

<i>”Yuto-senpai”</i> the warmth of those fingers on his skin, he still can remember it so clearly. But
surely, if he opens his eyes right now the image of him smiling while caressing his cheek will be gone.
Ichi meowing loud then he feels him stepping on his stomach, jumping to somewhere. He opens his eyes
in wonder where the cat is going and what he saw is something he never expected, Ryosuke is sitting
beside his body, ichi is snuggling on his arms and growling happily to his master’s comeback.

“ichi, do you miss me?” the brown haired boy asked the cat, taking him close to his face and rubbing his
nose to his cat. Ichi meowing deeply to his owner’s affection, “yosh, yosh. Gomen ne, I left you
for...almost four months?” he chuckles and letting ichi snuggling on his neck then licking his cheek.

Honestly, Yuto thinks that it’s just his imagination. There is no way Ryosuke comes back with them, he
had choosed Keito. then... “senpai?” the younger boy called him,

“am I dreaming?” he is dumbly asked to no one particular. Ryosuke is looking at him with ‘huh’ looks,
then breaks out a laugh,

“I think he stayed outside too much and his brain is freezed” Hikaru said while snorting on the couch,
“then should I melt it down?” Ryosuke turned his face to Hikaru and the others,

“douzo” Hikaru answered while grinning amusingly. Ryosuke turns his head to him then in a swift
motion leaning down and kissing his cheek. It feels so soft...as he remembered earlier. He holds
Ryosuke’s nape and capturing his lips. The loud cheers and whistles of the others just feels like a low
buzz in Yuto’s ears, all of his senses are focused on the soft, warm and dreamy kiss he is doing now.

“are you okay?” Chinen glances to Ryutaro beside him who is watching Yuto and Ryosuke with his blank
bored face. The younger yet taller boy didn’t answer and just flushing his body back on the couch,
turning his head from the kissing scene. Chinen takes out a candy from his pocket, shoving it in front of
Ryutaro, “people said that sweet thing will lessen the sadness you’re feeling” he said,

“and why should I feel sad?” Ryutaro asked back,

“uhm, because Ryo-chan and Yuto-kun...Ryuu loves Ryo-chan deshou”

“I do” Ryutaro said firmly, without any hesitation.

“that’s why you must be so sad right now, don’t pretend like you’re okay”

“wait, wait, wait. I’m really okay” Ryuu answered, then he realizes something, “aaa~ do you think that I
love Ryo-chan as if...love?”

“eh? It’s true right? Everyone are thinking the same”

Ryutaro chuckles, “I’m not. I love and care about him like an older brother. I had a crush on him back
then in elementary school but then I realized that it was not a love like...love. I have someone I really
love right now, and it’s not Ryo-chan”

“eh? Who?”

“you will know it really soon” Ryutaro replied, taking the lollipop candy on Chinen’s hand then standing
up and whispering on the shorter’s ear, “it’s you, baka” he said then walks away to Ryosuke and Yuto,
smacking Ryosuke’s head lightly, “that’s for made me so worry” he said. The older boy smiling
apologetically to him,

“gomen, Ryuu. tadaima” Ryosuke said, smiling to him.

“okaeri” the younger boy answered, hugging the brown haired boy tightly. “I’m glad you’re okay” Ryuu
said,

“sorry to make you worried” Ryosuke hugging the younger back, “please don’t be mad”

“I won’t. You’re save and it’s all that I wanted. I’m so glad you come back here”

“thank you for waiting for me” Ryosuke said,

“baka, what’re you saying”

“oh my God, I feel like crying” Hikaru commented with teary eyes when he listening to Ryuu and
Ryosuke then joins the hugging boys outside, “okaeri Ryo-chan~” he sobs while circling his arms around
Ryosuke and Ryutaro. A moment later the others are following Hikaru, making it the big group hug.

“Ryo-chan...don’t you ever, ever make us worry again” Dai-chan said,

“don’t ever said those sad words that there is no one want you again, you’re our precious friend and
housemate” Yabu said while trying so hard to hold back his tears, making his voice sounds weird.

“I will never steal your favorite food again so don’t leave us” Takaki said and Ryosuke giggles to hear
that,

“that’s a promise ne,” Ryosuke answered, “sorry for made all of you worried. arigatou, minna” he
added, smiling purely from his heart. “but can I say one more thing?”

“what is that?” Inoo asked after clearing his dry throat,

“I’m suffocated here in the corner” Ryosuke said, the others are squeezing his body in the middle and he
feels like a sandwich already. All of them are laughing and finally breaks the hug,

“jya, everyone are already here. We’re complete! Now let’s have a party~” Hikaru punched the air and
happily skipping to the kitchen with Yabu following him. Daiki and Takaki walking to the kitchen too to
help preparing the party, Inoo walking to the toilet to wash his teary face and Chinen skipping to the
living room to join Ryuu in front of the heater. Ryosuke turns his face to Yuto, “senpai, let’s go inside” he
said,

“so, it’s real” Yuto muttered lowly, finally his heart and mind fully realized that it’s not his imagination.
Ryosuke is really come home.

“ah, un” Ryosuke answered, “tadaima, Yuto-senpai” then smiles those soft and warm smile Yuto loves so
much, but this time...he didn’t fake it. That’s his real smile.

“okaeri” Yuto embracing his smaller body, hugging him tightly. If it’s possible, he didn’t want to let him
go ever again. the past four months was a living hell and he won’t take it if Ryosuke disappeared again.

“itai” Ryosuke hissed a little bit and Yuto knew there is something wrong with him.

“what...”

“shh...I don’t want to make them worry” he whispered. A dreadful thought comes across Yuto’s mind,
he is hurriedly taking up Ryosuke’s body on his arms and carrying him to his room, earning a loud wolf
whistles from the others,

“oi! Yuto! don’t monopolizing Ryosuke! make sure both of you join the party!” Hikaru’s loud shout
faintly heard inside his closed room, he didn’t answer that because now he needs to prove that his bad
premonitions earlier was just his stupid thought.
“open your clothes” he said to the boy on his bed,

“eh?”

“Ryosuke, show me” Yuto begged, Ryosuke tugging on his own shirt then hesitantly pulling off his shirt,
revealing visible bruises on his pearl white body. “what he had done to you” Yuto gently caressing those
purple bruises with his trembling hands, afraid that even a simple touch can hurt the younger.

“umm...just a little scratch” Ryosuke answered lightly, as if it’s nothing that big. “I’m okay, senpai” he is
cupping Yuto’s cheeks which are wet because of tears already. It’s hurting him a lot to see those bruises,
and imagining what he had going through to get those bruises is a horrible feeling.

“I love you” Yuto confessed, the three words he always wants to say finally came out of his mouth. “I
love you, Ryosuke”

***

Yuto’s confession isn’t something unexpected for Ryosuke, but honestly it’s hard for him to answer that.

“I’ll take you back to Tokyo,” Keito said on his ear and he gripping tight on his shirt, “you have to go back
there, you knew it right?”

“un” he nodded,

“so, until then” Keito said, “until then, can I pretend that you’re still mine?”

Ryosuke cried, “of course”

“then don’t cry. Please smile for me, only for me, for the last time” Keito wiping Ryosuke’s tears and the
shorter tugging up his lips, trying to make a smile. Ryosuke was holding Keito’s hand all along the driving
to Tokyo, and when they finally arrived in front of his house Ryosuke didn’t get down from the car.

“Ryo-chan, we’re here” Keito said,

“un” Ryosuke said,

“Ryosuke,” Keito held up his chin, “you know that there is someone that you’re helplessly want, right?
it’s different from our relationship which was just going with the flow and in the end trapped us inside.
That’s love, its may a little seed right now but for the first time in our relationship you said you wanted
to leave me that night, that was when I knew that you – drifting away from me”

“Keito – “

“from the first time, maybe our relationship wasn’t love. We’re just seeking for it, for something that
can fill the loneliness and thirst of love in our heart. and now you’re finally found it, someone that you
helplessly love. Unlike me who you decided to love”
“you’re wrong” Ryosuke said, “even so, even if I wanted to love you, even if I wanted to be loved by you
because I’ve been seeking for love...what I feel to you is love. Please don’t deny it” tears streaming
down his face,

“I’m sorry,” Keito embraced his body, the most gentle and warm hug he ever got from him. “thank you
for loving me and always be there for me all this time” he said on his ear. Ryosuke could feel Keito
caressing his hair and kissing it. Keito loves him, he knew it. But he also knew they could’t come back
together. Keito should come back to his family and there was no place for him there.

Keito kissed his lips, a long sweet kiss. Their last kiss. “I love you, please take care” he managed to say it
between his sobs. Keito smiled to him, tightening the hold on his hand as if he didn’t want to let go. “can
I contact you sometimes?” he asked and Keito shook his head,

“delete my number from your contact list”

“why?”

“it’ll be even harder for you and for me too. I won’t contact you and meet you again. Until we’re getting
over each other.” Keito said, wiping his tears with his left hand. “now go” he was slowly letting go his
hand and he opened the door of his car, going out from it. He turned his body, looking at Keito’s face for
the last time but it was so blurry. His tears blocking his vision. Keito closed the door and driving away
from the house, leaving him crying there.

<i>tell me Keito, if it isn’t love then why this pain on my heart tearing me apart?</i>

**

It’s so torturing for Yuto when Ryosuke didn’t answer his confession. The younger just keeps silent like
he didn’t know what to say so he won’t be hurted.

“I love you” he said it again, looking at him with his tearful eyes. Ryosuke finally glances up at him and
holding his cheek,

“un “ the younger boy answered, thumbing away the tears rolling on his cheeks. “I can’t answer it yet,
senpai. But one day I know I’ll be able to answer it. please wait” a kiss landed on his lips, silencing his
sobs and stopping his tears. The hands on his cheeks are now on his neck and hair, gently grasping some
strands of his hair. Slowly the kiss is going deeper and he is pushing Ryosuke’s back to lay on his bed.
“senpai?” Ryosuke called out when he realizes that he is on top of his body.

The taller guy touching his cheek, running his thumb over those wet lips, “don’t call me senpai again”
Yuto demanded,

“Y-Yuto-san” Ryosuke called, feeling a little bit weird because he is accustomed to call Yuto with ‘senpai’.

“call me Yuto, Ryosuke” he said, pressing their forehead together,

“It...It feels weird” Ryosuke said, turning his head to the side, embarrassed.
“that’s why you have to try to say it more”

“Yu-Yuto”

“once more”

“Yuto”

“again”

“Yuto”

“more”

“Yuto”

“one more time”

Ryosuke chuckles, “it’s enough”

“it feels great for me to hear you say my name” Yuto said, giving a chaste kiss on Ryosuke’s cheek. “I
love you...from now on I’ll treasure you” he stared to Ryosuke’s eyes, the boy below him nods, flashing a
glad smile. “I’ll protect you with my life, forever” Yuto added, leaning down and kissing him on the lips.

“arigatou, Yuto”

Omake

“ne, Ichi what are you doing there? come down” Ryosuke trying hard to stretch his hand, reaching for
Ichi who seems having fun walking on one branch of Sakura tree. The members of the share house are
having a hanami in the park when suddenly Ichi running away somewhere and Ryosuke found him up
high on the Sakura tree.

“Ryosuke, come down. I’ll go get him” Yuto said from below,

“chotto, just a little bit more and I can reach him” Ryosuke stubbornly said while stretching him arm
then finally get Ichi on his hand “gotcha” he exclaimed happily but suddenly he slips his foot and falling
back,

“Ryosuke!” Yuto gasped and broading his arms to catch the younger, thudding on the ground quite hard
as the result,

“itai” he hissed,

“senpai, are you okay?” Ryosuke asked, unconsciously calling Yuto ‘senpai’ again,
“feels like dejavu” Yuto said, smiling while caressing Ryosuke’s cheek who is laying on top of him, “are
you okay?”

“I’m okay, Ichi too” Ryosuke answered, “ah, you got a sakura petal on your hair” Ryosuke said, then
taking the petal and blow it away,

“you know, there is a myth that said if you can grasp a sakura petal when its floating in the air you will
find your happiness” Yuto said,

“hm~ then I’ll try it” Ryosuke exclaimed, standing up and trying to catch the floating petals around him.
He is jumping around to catch it, stretching his hand up and grasping to the floating petals. His body
wobbling, losing its balance when he did that and falling on top of Yuto again with his hand still tightly
closed, holding a petal that he thought he had caught.

“what are you doing? Watch your step” Yuto chuckles, holding up Ryosuke’s body. “you caught it?” he
asked and Ryosuke grins to him, opening his palm and showing the pink petals inside it. the wind
suddenly blowing the petals, makes it landing on Yuto’s lips. Ryosuke giggling amusingly and leaning
down to catch the pink petals with his lips,

“even without this sakura petal I know that I already found my happiness. It’s you, Yuto” Ryosuke said
after he broke the kiss.

Yuto is smiling broadly with so much happiness radiating from his body, he is pulling down Ryosuke’s
body and hugging him tightly while kissing his dearest person’s hair softly. “I love you” Ryosuke added,
finally can say those three words confidently. Yuto can’t control his overflowing joy anymore and kissing
Ryosuke’s lips dearly.

“uhm, both of you must be forget that WE are in a public place and NOT in our house” Yabu faking a
cough, interrupting Yuto and Ryosuke who are about to kiss each other again after taking a breath. Yuto
hurriedly holding up Ryosuke’s body from his, and sitting up properly while scratching his nape shyly.

“why did you stop them? That’s the fun part~” Hikaru whines, holding a video camera on his hand.

“chotto, Hikaru-kun...did you just taking our...” Ryosuke pointing to him and Yuto,

“he was filming both of you since the start” Yabu answered,

“eeeeh?! Give it to me!” Ryosuke jumped to Hikaru’s side, trying to take the video camera from his
hand.

“wait, wait, wait. Why do you want to delete it? it’s so cute~” Hikaru said, protecting the camera with
his life and running to the others who are ready to eat the lunch. Chinen is stuffing Ryuu’s mouth with
sausage already while Daiki and Inoo preparing the plates for everyone. Yuto and Yabu walking back to
them with Yuto holding Ichi on his arms. Ryosuke is still bugging Hikaru, asking for the video camera and
jumping on his toes to reach it.
“it’s a waste if you want to delete it, It’s too cute” Hikaru said, lifting the video camera up high.

“who said that I want to delete it? I said ‘give it to me’” Ryosuke answered, blushing a color of sakura
petals around his cheeks. Hikaru’s mouth hanging open amusingly, while the others are cheering like a
high schooler to Ryosuke’s cute remark.

“hyuu~ just get married already~” Takaki loudly cheered, followed by some similar comments from the
others.

Yuto is smiling while following Ryosuke with his eyes, there is no words in the world can describe his
feelings right now, watching Ryosuke laughing freely and be the one he loves.

<i>I promise I’ll protect your heart and every inch of your body with my life, dear my source of
happiness</i>

“I guess I can leave him in your care from now on” Ryutaro said to Yuto. The taller who didn’t see that
words came from Ryutaro’s mouth, didn’t answer for a couple of seconds, registering the words.

“I will” he finally answered confidently.

“I won’t forgive you if you – “

“hai, eat more” Chinen shoved a broccoli on Ryutaro’s mouth, made him stop talking. Yuto laughed at
that before says,

“don’t worry Ryutaro-kun, I won’t hurt him and make him sad” he said and the younger slightly smile to
him with his stuffed mouth.

“what are you talking abot?” Ryosuke suddenly appeared beside him with Hikaru’s video camera on his
hand.

“nothing” he answered, ruffling Ryosuke’s hair lovingly. “I love you” he confessed for nth times, but
even so he still finds it not enough.

Ryosuke smiles at him,

<i>the only thing I want to hear from you all of this time

Finally ...</i>

“I love you too”

<i>you answer my feelings</i>

a/n: the end~ </lj-cut>