023-收获交流（双语讲稿）

学生发言
I don't really know what to say So I ask someone to say it for me [VIDEO: THE MUPPET SHOW
＂Saying Goodbye＂] Saying goodbye going away Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say
Touching our hands wondering why It's time for saying goodbye Kermit! Goodbye!
Goodbyyyyyyyye! Saying goodbye why is it sad? Makes us remember the good times we've had
Much more to say foolish to try It's time for saying goodbye Don't want to leave but we both know
Sometimes it's better to go Somehow I know we'll meet again Not sure quite where and I don't
know just when You're in my heart so until then It's time for saying goodbye Somehow I know
we'll meet again Not sure quite where and I don't know just when You're in my heart so until then
Wanna smile Wanna cry Saying goodbye La la la la la la la la It's time for saying goodbye La la la
la la la la la La la la la-la la la
我也不知该说什么，所以我找了别人来替我说。(录像:大青蛙布偶秀"道别")。挥手道别，扬帆
启程，"再见"一词哽塞在喉，双手紧握，想问为何，又是别离时分，Kermit，再见，再见，挥
手道别，满心伤悲，又回忆起过去的好时光，千言万语，欲言又止，又是别离时分，不舍离
开，你我都懂，有时离开也许更好，而我知道，终会重逢，虽不知何时何地，你永在我心。重
逢之前，又是别离时分，而我知道，终会重逢，虽不知何时何地，你永在我心，重逢之前，带
着微笑，也噙着泪，与你道别，啦啦啦啦，啦啦啦啦，又是别离时分，啦啦啦啦，啦啦啦啦，
啦啦啦啦。

So I need your help I'm so very nervous What can I do? Meditate? Thank you Exercise? Now? You
mean dance? OK Tell a joke You tell a joke What else? Any suggestions? Hug someone! Good
idea At least 12 hugs, right? Yeah Anything else? Deep breath! OK. Good So it's OK to be nervous?
Thank you Feel better already So this is for me the last class at Harvard Who else is in the same
boat? Wow. Your last class What I'd like to do today is summarize what we've gone through some of
the journey as much as possible And what I'd like to do is to share that the responsibility of
summarizing to share it with you so I'd like to start with you thinking and reflecting about the
course In other words, we are going to run the class today like a small intimacy section Afterwards
I'll go through what I think of some of the highlights main points from the semester So I want to start
with a time-in an opportunity for you to reflect And specifically I would like you to reflect on the
following things and actually write them down So go over your notes or go over your mental notes
and write down at least two things that were particularly meaningful or interesting for you from this
semester whether it's something that you heard in lecture something you discussed in section
something that you read something that you talked about with your friends after class and somehow
was connected to your experience here anything or at least two things that were personally
meaningful and interesting to you So this is the first thing The second thing that I'd like you to write
down and you may have done it before You may have written it before at least two commitments
that you are making two behavioral changes or attitudinal changes two commitments that you are
taking upon yourself now that the semester is almost over So again, two meaningful or interesting
ideas at least and at least two commitments whether it's in the form of rituals attitudinal change or
behavioral change So take just a few minutes to do that in a time-in.
我需要你们的帮助，我十分紧张，我该怎么办，冥想?谢谢，锻炼，现在?你是说跳舞吗，讲个
笑话？你们给我讲吧。还有什么别的建议没，拥抱？好主意，至少要12个拥抱，对吧。还有什
么，深呼吸，很好，紧张也没关系?谢谢，我已经感觉好多了。这是我在哈佛的最后一节课
了，还有谁也是一样，你的最后一节课。我今天想做的是，尽可能地总结一下我们一路来所得
的一些收获。我想和你们分享，这个总结的责任，你们也要一起分享，所以我想从你们思考和
回忆课程内容开始。换言之我们今天这节课，就像个亲密互动环节，之后我会讲一遍我认为的
这学期的一些重点知识。我想先从你们开始，给你们机会回顾一下，我尤其希望你们能够回顾
以下主题，并把它们写下来，翻阅一下你们的笔记，搜索一下脑海，写下至少两样你觉得这学
期最有意义或你觉得最有趣的东西，不管是课上听到的内容，小组讨论时的话题，你阅读时读
到的东西，课后你和朋友讨论过的和这门课有所联系的问题，什么都可以，至少两样对你来说
最有意义或最有趣的东西，这是第一个内容。我想让你们写下的第二个内容，你们可能以前试
过，可能以前写过，至少两样你所决心做的转变，两种行为转变或态度转变，两样你要付诸实
施的改变。既然学期也都快结束了，再说一遍，至少两样有意义或有趣的事，以及至少两个转
变。不管是建立习惯，态度转变或行为转变，花一点时间把它们写下来。

OK Now what I'd like you to do - and this is completely voluntary of course is share some of the
things that you've learned or at least one thing that you learned that was personally meaningful or
interesting to you from this semester and if you feel comfortable the one of the two commitments or
both commitments that you've taken upon yourselves with the person next to you or with two people
next to you So take just 5 minutes to share with one another one interesting or meaningful thing and
one commitment or two OK I hope you continue the rest of your day for the rest of your life sharing
what you've learned what you are learning how you are growing Now what I would like to do is
hear some of you just talk about you know one thing perhaps that you find found interesting or
meaningful that could be directly from the class or something tangential but what was meaningful or
interesting for you this semester And we have some microphones spread around the room So if
anyone would like to be the first one, to volunteer remember courage is not about not having fear it's
about having fear and going ahead anyway If courage was about not having fear I would not be
teaching this class.
好，现在我希望你们做的，当然是完全自愿的，就是分享一些你们学过的，或至少一样这学期
学过的有意义或很有趣的东西。以及如果你们愿意的话，那两样转变其中的一样，或两样一起
分享给你身边的那位同学，或你身边的两位同学。花五分钟来彼此分享一下，一样有趣或有意
义的事，以及一到两种转变。好，我希望你们在今天或人生中，余下的时间还能继续分享学过
的知识，正在学的知识，你如何成长。我现在想做的是，听听你们讲讲一样你认为它有趣或有
意义的事。可以是课堂内容，也可以来自其他涉猎，但却是这学期对你来说有趣或有意义的东
西。我们把话筒在整个教室传递，有没有人愿意做第一个自愿讲讲的。还记得吗？勇气并不是
没有畏惧，而是有了畏惧还坚持向前。如果勇气是没有畏惧，我就不会来教这门课了。

Elizabeth I think for me what the most important thing was was the idea of self-concordant goal not
being frivolous or selfish but actually being something that one should actively pursue and can help
the people around you more than by pursuing that what you are told to pursue Great. So essentially
dissolving this divide between self and the other And remember the Dalai Lama - how surprised he
was when he came to the west and he heard our word for compassion means essentially compassion
toward others whereas Sawai in Tibetan means compassion toward others and compassion toward
oneself They go hand in hand; they are intertwined So identifying our self-concordant goals is very
much about helping ourselves and ultimately making the world a better place Wonderful. Thank you
Elizabeth，我觉得对我来说最重要的东西就是自我和谐的目标，不是浮躁或自私的，而是一种
每个人都应该积极追求的，可以帮助你身边的人，而非别人让你追求什么你就追求什么。很
好，消除自我和他人之间的分歧，还记得吗，达赖喇嘛，当他到了西方国家后有多惊讶，他听
说我们的"同情"这个词，指的是对其他人的同情，而藏语中Sawai既指对他人的同情，也包括
对自我的同情，它们是彼此交融的，所以要找到自我和谐的目标，很大程度上就是要帮助自
我，并最终使世界变得更美好。非常好，谢谢你。

I found the Roger Bannister story really meaningful to me especially because now I know nothing is
impossible even there are scientists telling you things are impossible You can still achieve them
Right. You know so often people tell us that it's impossible you can't do it And we have that voice at
the back of our mind those limiting beliefs whether it's limiting beliefs about how we can feel can
feel; and what we can achieve And what Roger Bannister's story does what it helps us do is chip
away some of these limitations and understand our potential Thank you.
我觉得Roger Bannister对我来说很有意义，尤其因为我现在明白了一切皆有可能，即使科学家
说有些事是不可能的，你也还是可以做到的。对，人们经常会跟说，这是不可能的，你做不
到，我们的脑海中总是回响着这样的声音，这些狭隘的想法。这种狭隘既包括对我们的感觉，
也包括我们所能做到的事。而Roger Bannister的故事，能够帮我们打破一些这样的束缚，挖掘
自身的潜能。谢谢你。

The day when you told the story about your grandmother and how she was able to still see so much
beauty in the world after everything she had been through was very, very moving for me And that
was a very unique experience to be so emotionally moved in this academic setting So that was really
powerful And that really made me reevaluate the way I look at my life and the way that I appreciate
the things that I have Thank you, Thank you I really like the idea that we can get over things bad
things a lot quicker than we would anticipate I just think that you know so often we cheat ourselves
of so much success so much potential, pleasure but I think, you know just the idea of going forward
and that we will ultimately get over it if it doesn't work out That's really important Right, yes. So
you know just like when we achieve something good we go back to base level and feel like as we did
before also when we fail And it's a real liberating feeling to know that that we are resilient that we
will recover Thank you
请说。那天你提到了关于你祖母的故事，她是如何历经坎坷后，终于看到世间种种美景的，这
深深地打动了我，在这样的学术氛围中能如此感动，实在是一种特殊而难得的体验，真的很有
力量，也使我重新审视自己看待人生的方式以及珍惜我所有的东西的方式。谢谢，谢谢。我很
喜欢那个"我们忘记坏事情比我们想象的快得多"的观点，我经常思考这一点，我们总是骗自己
说有多成功，多么有潜能，多么快乐。但我想，朝着目标向前冲，就算没能达到也会最终释怀
的想法，是非常重要的。没错，我们有所成就时，能回复平和，感觉就像从前一样。而当我们
失败时，要是知道我们是能重新振作的，是会很快恢复的，是很能让人解脱的。谢谢。

For me, it was important to realize balance between the rat racer and the hedonist finding the balance
between short term benefit and long term benefit Right. You know so much of our lives is about ＂
either or＂ Either I'm a successful rat racer or I'm a hedonist who has given up essentially on
success Whereas what we can very often do is reconcile the two You know, eat the cake and leave it
whole - so it seems Future benefit and present benefit in one Thank you
请说。在我看来，找到竞争主义者和享乐主义者之间的平衡点很重要，以及短期益处和长期益
处之间的平衡。是的，人生经常会遇到"非此则彼"的情况，要么我是个成功的竞争主义者，要
么就是个放弃成功的享乐主义者，而我们其实通常都能将两者融合，就像咬一口蛋糕还保持其
基本完整，长远益处和近期益处的结合。谢谢。

To seek to be known and not validated - and the way you taught the class opening up, let's say each
individual failure you had in your life I found myself my own failures - they are different but they
are the same I felt less lonely Thank you. You know when what I shared at I think the very first class
here was what Carl Rogers said which is ＂what is most personal is most general＂ Because deep
down humanity is humanity, is humanity And when we live in the world with the desire to be known
expressing ourselves that's I think when we can reach out most to others whether it's in a romantic
relationship whether it's in friendships whether it's in a classroom Thank you
被人所知而非被证明，以及你教课的方式，比如上课前会讲，你人生中经历的许多失败，我就
觉得自己，我自己的失败，它们是不同的，但又是统一的，我觉得没那么孤单了。谢谢，你知
道吗，我在第一节课就讲过的 Carl Rogers说过"最个人的也是最大众的"。因为从本质来说，这
些都是人性。当我们活在这世上，有被了解的欲望，表达自我，这是我们最能和他人触碰的时
候，不管是爱情，友情或是同学之间。谢谢。

One thing I would take away from this class is to be conscious about being grateful because
sometimes I feel that you take for granted the people you love the most To be grateful - there are so
many treasures of happiness of well being all around us and within us And the challenge is just to
open our eyes to appreciate them
请说。我从这门课上学到的一点就是，要学会感恩。因为有时我感觉，人们总是把最爱的人当
做理所当然。感恩，我们的周围和内心，都有那么多快乐和幸福，最重要的是睁开我们的双眼
去感受它们。

What was really amazing to me was how open others where not in the class such as family and other
friends not in the class to also take on this change in their life They didn't see it as some cookie self-
help thing but really as ＂Oh yeah, maybe I should take note of all the things I'm grateful for in my
life＂and other exercises Yeah, you know this is paying it forward Sometimes we are so afraid to
talk about things that matter to us And when we do and when we are real when we are genuine
when we express ourselves these things are contagious And we pay it forward And then they pay it
forward Thank you.
请说。对我来说特别棒的就是，这门课对其他不是学生的人很开放，比如家人以及其他不学这
门课的同学，同样也能这样改变他们的人生，他们并不会刻意感觉到这对他们有好处，而
是"对，也许我该记下所有，我生活中该感恩的东西"，以及其他的。是的，这就是传递，有时
我们很害怕说出自己看重的东西，而当我们说出它时，当我们是真实的，当我们是真挚的，当
我们表达自我时，这些东西是会传染的，我们会将其传递出去，它们再继续不断传递。谢谢。

Before taking this class I blame my mood and my happiness a lot on those going around me like my
circumstances So taking this class really helped me aware the circumstances really don't control your
happiness level that I have more than an active role like how I feel Right. You know remember one
of the things we talked about is that at least I don't believe that things necessarily happen for the best
You know there are some times where there are bad circumstances poor circumstances hard
circumstances the challenge though is how can we make the best of that which have happened And
we do have much more control over it than we think
请说。在学这门课之前，我将自己的悲喜都归咎于周围的事物，比如我的环境，学这门课真的
帮到我很多，意识到周围环境其实并不会掌控你的快乐，我应该更积极地了解自己的感受。是
的，还记得我们讲过，至少我不认为什么事都能一帆风顺，有时我们会遇到坏情况，糟糕的情
况，艰难的情况，最大的挑战其实是我们如何能更好地利用发生的一切。我们确实比自己想象
的更有力量来掌控。

The class allowed me so many times during almost every day to understand something is part of me
being human as part my permission to be human rather than conceive it as my feelings or something
that I wasn't doing well enough So the permission - you know I've repeated it for so many times and
I'll continue to repeat it until use every last minute that I have to do it because it's really on so many
levels the foundation of well being And unfortunately too much in our culture today what is going on
is what I call ＂the great deception＂ where we think well everyone is doing great except for me So
I'm going to pretend that I'm doing great too And then we become part of that great deception
reinforcing it The permission to be human
请说。这门课让我几乎每天都能很多次地感受到我是个普通人，我允许自己为人，而不是自己
臆想出来的，或者总想着我没做好的事。允许为人，我反复多次提到了它，并将继续提到，即
使到了生命最后几分钟也会继续，因为从很多方面来说它确实是幸福的基础。不幸的是我们如
今的文化，过于强调我所说的"巨大的骗局"。我们认为每个人都很棒，就我不行，所以我要假
装我也很棒，然后我们就成了"巨大骗局"的一部分。一定要反复强调，允许为人。

The whole piece about perfectionism I have never seen myself as a perfectionist and I think it's just
kind of self denial So through the exercises in the course as well as you know in the book different
readings that we've done have really allowed me to explore that, and accept that and make proactive
changes in my life to grow away from that Great. You know perfectionism is again another thing that
so many people hide because perfectionist almost by definition doesn't want to show the weakness
And as I mentioned in the class unperfectionism for me has been the most important in terms of my
progression toward becoming happier Accepting failure as an inevitable accepting that life is not a
straight line but rather a spiral with ups and downs along with the general trajectory as
improvement, growth and permission So for me one of the things that really resonated was the idea
of reframing the question At the very beginning you spoke about the fact that there was the 21 to 1
ratio of negative to positive research And as someone who will be going into research in
neurobiology it was really interesting just reframing of a world view just start thinking of well
perhaps start looking at what is working in terms of research And, so I will take that with me into my
academics The importance of questions - questions create our reality Remember the question of the
children on the bus which most people completely missed remember years and years of research that
was done in the inner cities with at risk population where they missed the answer to how can we
improve their lives They missed it because they did not also ask the positive question And it applies
into every area of our lives as I'll talk about soon
请讲。关于完美主义的那些内容，我从没觉得自己是个完美主义者，我觉得那是种自我否定，
通过课堂上的练习以及课本的内容，我们做的各种阅读，真的使我去探索，去接受它，并主动
地作出改变来远离它。很好，完美主义同样是人们经常隐藏的，因为完美主义者从定义上说就
不愿意显露出弱点。正如我在课上所说的，我认为不完美主义是在向着，幸福前进的道路上最
重要的一点，接受不可避免的失败，接受人生不会是一条直线，而是有起有伏的螺旋。但主轴
仍然在，也就是进步、成长和允许为人。
我觉得最有共鸣的一点就是，就是重新构建问题。在学期刚开始时，你讲到消极和积极的研
究，所得到的21:1的比例，对于我这样马上要进行神经生物学研究的人来说，能够重建世界观
是很有趣的，开始思考，也许，开始思考对于研究来说什么是最重要的，我会在自己的学术领
域中用到它，问题的重要性，问题能创造我们的现实，还记得公车上的孩子们的问题吗？很多
人都忽视了，年复一年我们在城市中对高危人群进行研究，却总是找不到改善他们生活的方
法，因为他们没有问出积极的问题。我很快会讲，这也适用于我们生活的各个方面。

Before, I always procrastinate That is my big problem for my academic Now I improved a lot Thank
you very much Procrastination - you know 70 percent of students in universities complain about
procrastination It's a huge issue And one of the ways to overcome it the best way to overcome it is
to just do it Just start - remember the five minute take-off That's so important Thank you
请说。此前我一直是个拖延的人，这是我学习中的大问题，现在我进步了很多，非常感谢你。
拖延症，70%的大学生抱怨说有拖延症，这是个大问题。克服它的一种方式，克服它的最好方
式就是去做。还记得五分钟休息吗？那非常重要。谢谢。

I was just really really impressed with the reading that we read by Gilbert that was talking about how
the good luck in your life and the wonderful circumstances you find yourself in are really your own
making And by changing your outlook and your patterns you can really make a difference in your
happiness day to day Yeah. You know so many people live lives and think ＂well…＂ only I didn't
meet that person if only this hasn't happen to me I would have been happy And understanding that
so much of it is determined by our perception is very empowering
请说。我对我们阅读的Gilbert的作品印象非常深刻，讲的是关于生活中的好运，以及你觉得自
己置身的美好状态，其实都是你自己创造的，通过改变你的外表和衣着，你可以每日逐渐改变
自己的幸福感。很多人活着会想"这个..."。要是我没遇到这个人就好了，要是这种事情没发生
在我身上，我就会很幸福的。要明白这其中很大一部分，都是由我们的理解决定的是很重要
的。

What has been most meaningful for me has been in fact that this class exists and that there are so
many people interested in happiness cause you know the culture here at Harvard we don't always get
the chance to really think about it And as you said, you know it's you are just reminding us what we
already know but it's also letting us know that we are not crazy for knowing it Yeah, we are not We
are not alone And we need that reminder and other people need that reminder And by reminding
other people we also remind ourselves Thank you
请说。对我来说最有意义的，其实就是这门课的存在，有这么多人关心幸福。因为在哈佛这样
的氛围中，我们不一定总有机会来思考这个，正如你所说，你只是提醒我们一些已经知道的
事。也让我们知道，我们了解它是正常的。是的，我们并不孤单，我们需要有人提醒，其他人
也需要，通过提醒其他人，我们也提醒了自己。谢谢。

For me it's the concept of integrity because I think we are all honest people but it's the little things at
times each day when we compromise our beliefs or act in a way that doesn't align with how we think
we should and that that really takes toll on our self esteem And so the idea of being constantly aware
of and maintaining our integrity I think really stands to helps us feel better about ourselves Because
when we tell the truth we are communicating a certain message to ourselves when we express
ourselves we are communicating a certain message to ourselves And the message is my words count;
I count When we express ＂we are good enough＂ don't need to put on a facade or impress Then
the message the self perception theory actually enhances how we feel about ourselves not to
mention that it helps interpersonal communication And the world would be a better place if more and
more people acted with integrity And again, self and others divide dissolves
请说。我觉得是正直的概念，因为我认为我们都是诚实的人，但就是每天的各种小事情，让我
们的信仰屈服，或者让我们言行不一，这会对我们的自尊造成影响，所以时刻意识到并保持我
们的正直，能让我们对自我感觉更良好。当我们说真话时，其实正给自己传递了某种信息，当
我们表达自我时，我们在给自己传递某种信息，这个信息就是我的话有分量，我有分量。当我
们表达"我很棒"，无需过分想给他人留下印象，而这个信息，这个自我知觉理论能提升，我们
对自身的看法，更不用说对人际关系的提升了，也能使世界变得更美好。如果越来越多人能够
正直，那么同样自我和他人之间的分歧就会消除。

One the the phrases that you shared with us in your lectures that's really impacted me and I've
actually embraced it as a kind of personal mantra is ＂learn to fail or fail to learn; there's no other
way＂ And I kind of realized throughout the course, this class what a perfectionist I have been and
how much time throughout my life my earliest memories have stuck really torturing myself the
anxiety and fear of making a mistake and to reframe that and really look at those inevitable moments
where I messed up as you know fuel for moving forward, as opportunities has been wildly liberating
So I thank you for that Thank you The notion of ＂learn to fail and fail to learn＂ as you know is
my personal mantra as well It's very liberating It's liberating within the context of relationship
within the context of our academic performance within the context of an organization on every level
And it's important to understand that there is no other way to learn whether it's to draw a circle or to
walk It's just part of life And if we accept it we are much happier for it Thank you
请说。你在课堂上和我们分享的一句话深深震撼了我，我事实上已经将其作为了座右铭"学会
失败或从失败中学习，没有别的法子"。经过这门课的学习，我意识到我曾经是个怎样的完美
主义者，以及我人生中有多少次，我的早期回忆一直在折磨自己，焦虑以及对犯错的恐惧，重
构这些，真正回头看那些不可避免的失败时刻，能成为我前进的动力，我面前突然一片开阔，
非常感谢你。谢谢。"学会失败，从失败中学习"的概念，其实也是我的个人座右铭，它能让人
解脱，在人际关系中，在学业成绩中，在一个组织的各个层面中。重要的是要知道没有其他更
好的学习方法，不管是画圆圈或学走路，这只是人生的一部分。如果我们接受它，我们就能更
快乐。谢谢。

Elizabeth What's really been really meaningful to me in deciding what concentration to pursue is the
idea of happiness is ultimate currency and trying to kind of eliminate outside influences and really
think about what is meaningful to me and what will make me happy in what I study So thank you
The ultimate currency you know many people say about Americans that one of the reasons why the
levels of depression are on the rise one of the reasons why there are so many unhappy people is
because Americans have too high expectations And that's not true I disagree with it; and the research
disagrees with it It's not about having high versus low expectations it's about having right versus
wrong expectations And it applies to, to many areas but one of the things to understand is that where
do we look to gain gratification from our life Is it from, again getting the next accolade the next
promotion or the people tell us how wonderful our concentration is? Or is it from doing what we
want to do in other words, being determined by the ultimate currency and understanding that
happiness is the ultimate currency?
Elizabeth。对我来说特别有意义的就是，真正要专心追求的东西，快乐是最终的目的，要试图
消除外界的影响，认真思考对我来说有意义的到底是什么，在我所学的东西中什么能让我快
乐。谢谢。最终目的，很多人说美国人之所以抑郁水平不断攀升，之所以有那么多不快乐的
人，其中一个原因就是美国人有过高的期望，这是错的，我不同意，研究也不能证明这一点，
这不是高期望或低期望的问题，而是正确或错误的期望的问题。这适用于很多领域，但我们要
明白的一点是，我们在人生中从何处获得满足，是来自下一句赞美，下一次升职或人们说我们
有多棒吗？还是来自我们想做的事。换言之我们最终的目的所决定的事，而最终的目的就是快
乐。谢谢。

Thank you Yes I feel that all this semester and all this year in fact I have been trying to I have been
either going to class or running to lab or just finding some way to fill up every hour of my day And it
seems like I'm constantly running from one place to another And it seems all my life I have been just
essentially trying to fill up every hour of my day And I feel what's really important and what I really
got from this is what you said about doing less is more And that's something I'm definitely going to
take like keep in mind the next three years when I'm here Yeah, less is more Quantity affects quality
And we so often wonder you know ＂how come I am unhappy?＂ I have so many things in my life
that are wonderful and amazing And that could be part of the problem Because more is not always
better Not easy to simplify - that's so very important So very important
请说。我觉得这整个学期，这一整年，我都一直在，要么上课，要么跑向实验室，寻找方法来
填满我的每一天，似乎我永远在从一处跑向另一处，似乎我整个人生都在试图填满每一分钟。
我觉得特别重要的，我真的学到的就是你所说的，做得少其实是更多，我会很认真地在我接下
来，在哈佛的三年中将这一点铭记于心。对，做得少其实是更多，数量会影响质量。我们经常
好奇"我为什么不快乐"，我人生中有这么多美好的东西，这可能就是问题的一部分，因为更多
不一定意味着更好，要把事情简化很难，这是很重要的，非常重要。

The concept of simplicity on the other side of complexity is so awful for me, because you know
when you grow up in life you add all these variables and it becomes more and more complicated
And as a is certain frustration about not being able to simplify But when you say at the top of the
complexity is when you realize the beauty realizing that the simplicity comes after complexity not
before complexity And the knowledge of complexity that's an amazing concept So Oliver Wendell
Holmes talks about the simplicity on the other side of complexity And that applies whether it's to
ideas - and again this class most of it is very simple And there were no very complicated concepts
here But many of them are the simplicity on the other side of complexity Same on the individual
level Very often we go through hardships and our life is so difficult We go through a crisis, through a
crucible And what we need to do to understand when we are going through that complexity and
hardship and the crucible and the difficulties is that there is simplicity on the other side Very often
all we need to do is hang on Just wait a little bit longer And there'll be more clarity more growth
more development more joy at the end of it
请说。复杂性另一面的简单性的概念，我觉得非常奇妙，当一个人成长时，就会加入各种各样
的变量，变得越来越复杂，不能把问题简化是很让人沮丧的，但你说到了复杂的顶点后，你会
发现那种美，发现简单是出现在复杂之后，而非复杂之前，而对复杂性的理解，那是个非常棒
的概念。Oliver Wendell Holmes讲到了复杂性另一面的简单性，这适用于不管是，这门课大部
分内容，都是很简单的，没有什么特别复杂的概念，但它们很多都是复杂性另一面的简单。对
个人来说也是一样，我们经常会遇到困难，生活很艰难，我们会经历危机，严酷的考验，而我
们要做的就是明白，当我们经历了这些复杂，艰难，严峻的考验和坎坷起伏之后，另一面就是
简单。通常我们要做的往往就是坚持，再等待一会儿，就会更清楚明了，更能成长，更能进
步，最终更快乐。

On your passing on the mic I was like ＂Oh my God, I don't really have anything to say There are
so many people, I will never do that.＂ And then you said courage is not about fearless but about
having fear and doing it anyway So I just threw my pack over the wall I was like＂Give me that
mic! I'm gonna do it!＂ And it's in my hand and I'm speaking So thank you for that That's what it is
about It's about behavioral change Not in theory. Good
请说。在传递话筒时，我在想"天啊，我不知该说什么，太多人了，我没法做到的"。然后你说
勇气不是没有畏惧，而是有了畏惧还坚持向前，所以我一下就把顾虑都抛弃了。就像"给我话
筒，我要说!"而它现在在我手上，我在说话，所以非常感谢，就是这样。这就是行为转变，而
不是理论，很好。请说。你前几节课讲了关于匿名的世界，如果一切行为是匿名的，我们会如
何生活。我认为知道我们真正想要的并勇敢追求，我们想要的东西是很有挑战性的，甚至是让
人畏惧的，能够真正了解自己想要的，并一心追求它，我觉得这是非常值得自豪的，而你确实
实践了你所教给我们的东西，因此我对你有着崇高的敬意。谢谢，谢谢。

You've spoken in the past few lectures about in an anonymous world and about how we would live if
our action is anonymous And I think that knowing what we want and actually pursuing what we
want is or can be really challenging even frightening It just seems like you really know what you
want and pursued and pursue what you want And I think that is something to be really proud of And
you definitely seem to practice what you preach and teach And I have enormous amount of respect
for you because of that Thank you Thank you There are many things but one thing I'm really
learned from this class is it is important to focus on what we really, really like to do You said many
time in the class teaching is your calling And I can see how much you enjoy teaching And it was
really inspiring to me So I think I will remember that and I will keep looking for my calling and
what I really, really like to do Thank you
你讲过很多东西，但有一样我确实学到的就是，专注于我们真正想做的事。你在课堂上说过很
多次，教书就是你的使命，我能看得出来你有多热爱教学，这让我很有感触，我会记住这一
点，并不断寻找我的使命，我真正想做的到底是什么。谢谢。

Let's take someone with the microphone And we'll get it to you Anyone has a microphone? Wait.
OK I used to be the kind of person who like run away from my problems and I used to try to ignore
them until they went away And I don't do that anymore Cause I know that if I'm unhappy the only
person who can do something about it is me And I need to make a change And this class has given
me all sorts of tools to do that So thank you Thank you I just wanted to thank you for the idea of the
power of commitment because it helped me get my job you know and something that I want to do
which is journalism versus something that I wasn't excited about doing which is like PR So I wanted
to thank you for that because you know I decided to jump into it and throw my pack over the wall
And that's why I got it. So thank you You know Hi. Neiman fellows
请说。找到拿着话筒的人，把话筒给你，有人有话筒吗，好的。我以前是个总喜欢逃避问题的
人，总是试图忽视问题，直到它们消失，而现在我不再这样了，因为我知道如果我不开心，唯
一能够解决的人就是我自己，我要做出改变，这门课给我了很多这样做的帮助。谢谢，谢谢。
我想谢谢你告诉我们承诺的力量，它帮助我找到了工作，一边是我想做的事，也就是记者，一
边是我不太感兴趣的公共关系，我想为此感谢你，因为你使我决定投身其中，抛弃一切顾虑，
所以我才找到自己想要的工作。谢谢。

I remember that you talked about when you stretch a muscle it gets stronger and brought up the idea
of stretch zone And I didn't realize how much stronger I would become when I stretch myself and do
things that weren't in things in my stretch zone and my panic zone I just thank you because I think
this class has really been the road map A lot of us have needed to change and becomes happier So
thank you Thank you Good afternoon, everyone I'd like to first of all say you are great. Yeah And
also I am a proud educator in the Milwaukee public school system Are there any future educators in
the room? ＂Milwaukee!＂ And what you speak of as Albert Bandura and the theory of self
efficacy is so very important And anyone who is interested in youth empowerment or education it's
very, very important No.1 to have high expectations for our children especially children of color
cause as an educator I see what Bandura talks about and what Dweck talks about this diminished
sense of reality for these kids that produces whole other world for them So you know I just want to
really focus and kind of stress that And thank you for sharing that That's important to have high
expectations for children and for yourselves of course Right. Beliefs in self-fulfilling prophecies so
often create the world our world and the world of those around us based on our beliefs
我记得你说过当拉伸肌肉时，它会变强，由此引出"拉伸区"的概念，我以前没有意识到当我拉
伸自己，去尝试做一些在我的拉伸区，和恐慌区里的事时，我有多强大。谢谢你。我觉得这门
课对我们很多人来说，就像地图一样指引我们改变，变得快乐。谢谢。谢谢。各位下午好，我
首先想说你太棒了，我是Milwaukee公立学校体系的一名老师，在座有将来想做老师的
吗，"Milwaukee"，你之前讲过的，Albert Bandura和自我效能理论，是非常重要的，任何对帮
助青年成长或教育有兴趣的人，对孩子们有高期望，是非常非常重要的，尤其是有色人种的孩
子。作为教育工作者，我明白Bandura和Dweck想表达的意思，对这些孩子来说弱化了的现
实，为他们创建了一个完全不同的世界，我想强调并着重突出这一点，很感谢你讲了这个。对
孩子有高期望是很重要的，当然对自己也是很重要的。没错，自我实现预言经常会改变世界，
我们的以及我们周围的世界，基于我们的信仰。

Let's take a couple of more And I'll do my quick summary Yes OK Go for it I know this has been
mentioned a couple times already but it's so easy to blame others for our unhappiness or others'
actions or even our own actions for our unhappiness But you've talked so many times about what's
going on in our own subconscious and how what subconscious may be doing is might actually
preventing our unhappiness preventing our happiness rather And it just brought me back to Marva
Collins and how if a student did something wrong she made them go through the alphabet and say
these are all good things about me And it's really been enlightening to try to think about how am I
thinking what am I not doing to others or what others are doing to me but what am I thinking that's
preventing me from being a happier person
我们再听几位，然后我再快速总结一下。请说。好的，请讲吧。我知道这已经被提到好几次
了，但真的很容易将我们的不快乐归咎他人或他人的行为，甚至我们自己的行为，但你说过很
多次我们潜意识中发生的事以及潜意识的影响，可能才是阻止我们不快乐，错了，阻止我们快
乐的原因。这让我回想起Marva Collins，如果学生做错了什么事，她会让他们看一遍字母表
说，这些都是我好的方面。我们真的应该尝试去想，我想的是什么，对他人不做什么，或他人
对我做什么，但要思考是什么阻止我变成一个更幸福的人。很好，谢谢。
That's wonderful. Thank you Let's take two more So up there I guess two things that really stuck
with me from the class is the little clip you showed of the baby learning to walk And just like what
you conveyed the idea like this baby has no reason to like have a sense of why he's falling down and
it should be anything that he should be ashamed of And that was just like a very effective way to kind
of convey like we always saying kind of learn to fail and fail to learn That really stuck with me And
also your own willingness to describe your own kind of rises and falls as you went through your
studies of psychology and your experiences at Cambridge and Harvard and just your willingness to
be very open about it It's kind of empowering like, for me is I'm about to graduate and I go forward
kind of maybe don't know what exactly you want to do and you consider different options and
obviously that fear of failures especially when you come from a place like Harvard is maybe
especially xx You just you are willing to share these experiences and empowering I feel as I kind of
question the choices I am going to make So I really appreciate that Thank you
再听两位同学，那位同学。这门课上我印象最深的两样东西就是，你放的小宝宝学走路的录
像，你想表达的是这个宝宝，并不知道他为何会摔倒，也不知道他该为此感到羞耻。这是种很
有效的方法让我们知道，我们要学会失败，从失败中学习，这让我感触良多，以及你愿意说出
你自己在做，心理学研究时经历的起起伏伏，以及你在剑桥和哈佛的经历，你愿意很开诚布公
地和我们分享，这让我感受到，我要毕业了，要继续发展，并不清楚自己想做什么，会考虑各
种选择，会感受到对失败的恐惧，尤其是来自像哈佛这样的地方，更是让人倍感压力，而你愿
意和我们分享这些经历，我就会重新考虑我要做的决定，对此我非常感谢。谢谢。

Every day is a beautiful day And to be grateful for that somehow makes it easier to go out and try to
do things that maybe even we didn't like And common sense is not that common And these are all - a
lot of things that I've learned I already knew but now I learned it at Harvard Great. All right Let's
take one more So I'm senior and I'm leaving So this is my last lecture class at Harvard So I
apologize if this message seems a little more geared towards the undergrads in the class one of the
things that I'm very impressed with is a large lecture class that is so far reaching as far as the number
of people who want to take it and the diversity of students in the class But I guess this experience
that I like to share is that I came into this class admittedly because I value honesty I will say I took it
because I thought it would be a nice complement to an otherwise a difficult senior spring And I
thought,＂Well, it'll be nice class to have.＂ And my sophomore year I had gone through kind of a
self discovery post depression that made me kind of value things in a different way So I've been I've
been using these lessons that I learned sophomore year And I thought＂Well maybe this class will
just be redundant＂ Turns out I went through another really difficult time during my senior spring
And um... Sorry I guess what I'd like to relate to especially the undergrads here is that it's very
important if you are a freshmen if you are a sophomore it's not even too late as juniors it's very
important to prioritize what's really important to you at this school And let me tell you it's not the
paper it's not the problem set it's not getting a full 8 hours sleep when your friends need your
attention for an hour because the people here matter the most And you'll miss them And if you don't
spend time with them now you won't have time to spend time with them later on So it's very
important prioritize what is meaningful for you and what you really, really want to do in this school
because before you know it it will be over So thank you for helping me remember that and making
it meaningful semester Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
请说。每一天都是美好的，对此感恩能够让我们在做自己，不喜欢的事时能更轻松，以及常识
其实并不那么人尽皆知，这些都是，学的很多东西都是我已经知道的，但我现在是在哈佛学到
的。好的，很好。我们再听一位同学。我是大四的，上要毕业了，这可能是我在哈佛上的最后
一节课，如果我说的东西对于班里的低年级同学，太过难以接受，我将为此道歉。我印象非常
深刻的一点是，这样一门涉及面广泛的大课，有如此多人想上这门课，班里的同学各种各样，
但我想和大家分享的经历就是，我来到这个课堂，我很诚实，必须承认，我认为这会是对艰难
的大四，春季学期一个很好的补充，我就想"这应该是门挺好玩的课"。在我大二时，我有点开
始探索自我，压抑的生活让我用不同的方式来看待事物，我当时，我有了大二的这些想法，我
就想"也许这门课就是多余的了"。结果后来我又在大四的春季学期经历了艰难的时期。抱歉，
我最想和在座的低年级同学分享的就是如果你是大一的，大二的甚至大三都不算晚，最重要的
是搞清楚，在学校里对你最重要的是什么，我告诉你们不是论文，不是讨论的问题，不是当你
的朋友需要你，空出一小时时，你却说要保证八小时睡眠，因为这里的人是最重要的，你以后
会想念他们，如果你不珍惜现在和他们一起的时光，以后很难再有时间和他们共度。这非常重
要，搞清楚真正对你有意义的是什么，和你在学校中真正想做的事。因为在你不经意间，它就
要结束了，谢谢你让我铭记这一点，使我的这个学期变得有意义。谢谢，谢谢你们。

重点总结
Let me summarize All of these things that you already mentioned before these are not necessarily the
most important These are the ones that for me without looking back on my notes came up First the
questions that you ask will very often determine the quest that you take And if we only ask the
negative questions such as ＂why do so many of these individuals fail?＂ Then we won't see the
potential for greatness that exists in each individual if we only ask ＂How can my relationship be
improved?＂ Then we will not see all the wonders and the treasures and the miracle that exist in the
person next to us We also need to ask the positive question what is good about my relationship?
What is great about my partner? What is wonderful about myself? What is meaningful to me? What
is pleasurable to me? What am I good at? Questions start a quest And the kind of the quest they start
depends on the quality of the question that we ask
现在我来总结一下，你们刚刚讲到的这些所有东西，这些不一定是最重要的，这些东西，我无
须翻阅笔记就能想到。首先，你所问的问题经常都会决定你所做的探索。如果我们只问消极的
问题，比如"为什么这么多人失败"，我们就没法看到潜藏在每个人心中的伟大，如果我们只
问"我的人际关系该怎样改善"，我们就无法看见身边的人所拥有的宝贵财富和奇迹。我们同样
要问积极的问题，我的人际关系中有什么好的方面，我的同伴有哪些优点，我自己有哪些优
点，什么对我最有意义，什么能使我愉快，我擅长什么，问题会带来探索，探索的内容取决于
我们所问的问题。

The four minute mile - beliefs create reality Not only beliefs, but to a great extent how we perceive
reality is what actually comes true Marva Collins believed in her students believes in her students
and miracles happen Those unteachable ones become extraordinary because of beliefs Remember
John Carlton's study once again about business school graduates Two thing distinguish the
extraordinary from the rest One was that they were always asking question always wanting to learn
more having that humbleness that's so important for growth and well being and self esteem And
second they believed in themselves They had the confidence They had the self efficacy to succeed
and to thrive How do we improve the belief? By putting ourselves on the line, by coping by taking
risks by showing ourselves that we can do it through visualization There are no short cuts to success
Learn to fail or fail to learn It is no coincident that the most successful extraordinary people in
history were also the ones who failed the most whether it was in sports, Babe Ruth who struck out
more than any other players of his time but also hit the most home runs whether it was Michael
Jordan who described his failures time and time again whether it's taking the game winning shot
where he didn't make it or practicing over and over and over again It's no coincident that Thomas
Edison the person who had more patents than any other scientist in history is also the scientist who
had failed the most times Remember Dean Simonton's work on scientists as well as the artists The
most successful ones were also the ones who failed the most There is no other way to learn
Moreover if we accept this if we accept this growth mindset as opposed to fixed mindset that Carol
Dweck talks about it Not only we will be, improve more we will also be happier because then not
every experience is a threat to our ego to our self, to our self esteem If we accept the failure is
inevitable whether in a relationship there are disappointments and arguments or in individual life or
on a national level no perfect country, no perfect person no perfect organization And if we
understand that life is about this as opposed to about this we'll be so much happier so much calmer
and paradoxically so much more successful The permission to be human - there are two kinds of
people who don't experience painful emotions Who are they again? The psychopath and dead
people I'm so glad none of you are psychopath and that you are all alive It makes the class so much
better so much safer You are not going to come out of this class experience a constant high No one
experiences a constant high You are going to continue to have those ups and downs The only
difference I hope that you will experience now is that when you experience a painful emotion you
will look at it and say ＂Oh, I'm human. It hurts I wish it weren't that way but I accept it just like
you accept the law of gravity because the law of gravity is as much part of physical nature as painful
emotion is a part of human nature Permission to be human
我们常说信念创造现实，不仅是信念，更宽泛地说，我们如何理解现实才是最后所得的结果。
Marva Collins相信她的学生，相信她的学生，然后奇迹发生了，那些朽木难雕的学生因为信念
而成就卓越。还记得John Carlton关于商学院学生的研究吗，将卓越和平庸划分开的有两样东
西，一个是他们总在问问题，总想学习到更多，心怀谦逊，对成长、幸福和自尊尤为重要。其
次，他们相信自我，他们有自信，他们有自我效能通往成功和进步。我们如何提升信念?通过
拉伸自我，去尝试，挑战自我，通过具象化使我们明白自己可以做到，成功没有捷径，学会失
败，从失败中学习。历史上很多成功的杰出人士，同样也是那些失败最惨重的人。这并非巧
合，无论是在体育界，Babe Ruth，比同时代任何球员三振出局次数都多，但也打出过最多的
全垒打。还有MichaelJordan，一次次地表现出失败，赛点时最后一个绝杀没有投进。或不断重
复的机械训练，Thomas Edison比任何科学家获得专利都多的人，同样也是失败过最多次的
人，这也并非巧合。还记得Dean Simonton对科学家和艺术家的研究吗，最成功的往往是失败
得最多的，没有别的方法可以学习，而且如果我们接受这一点，如果我们接受这种成长的心
态，而不是Carol Dweck所说的固定心态，我们不仅会更有进步，也会更加快乐幸福。因为这
样就不会每次经历都是对自我自尊的一种威胁。如果我们接受失败是不可避免的，不管是在人
际关系中存在失望和争吵，还是在个人生活，或从国家来说，没有完美的国家，没有完美的
人，没有完美的组织。如果我们明白生命是个上升的螺旋，而非一条直线，我们会幸福得多，
冷静得多，并且也更加成功。允许为人，世界上有两种人，不会经历情感创伤。哪两种人？精
神病患者和死人。我很高兴你们都不是精神病患者，也都活着。这让这门课好上很多，安全很
多。你不可能学完这门课后就能一直保持人生平顺，没人能一直保持人生平顺，你还会经历坎
坷起伏。我希望你们唯一能感受到的区别就是当经历感情创伤时，你会看着它说"我只是普通
人，我很难过，真希望事情不是这样，但我接受它，就像接受重力定律一样，因为重力定律是
一种物理本质，就像感情创伤是一种人性本质，允许为人。

We talked about many interventions that work in this class Most interventions don't work as we've
seen whether it's with the Somerville study or others Journaling works When we write, when we
open up whether it's in writing or sharing with a person we care about And it can be a therapist It
can be our best friend, our partner When we share, when we open up we are able to make sense
create ＂a sense of coherence＂ in the words of Antonovsky about the experiences of our lives and
enjoy higher levels of happiness It works There are so many treasures of happiness all around us and
within us And the question is do we notice them? Or do we take them for granted? Remember the
word, appreciate It has two meanings: one is to say thank you for something which is a nice thing to
do again, sister called the gratitude is the highest of virtues It's a nice thing to be grateful The
second meaning is no less important Appreciate means to grow And when we appreciate the good in
our lives when we appreciate the good in our relationship when we appreciate our partner our
friends, our classmates when we appreciate our country the good grows Unfortunately the opposite
is also the case When we don't appreciate the good depreciates There is no perfect relationship no
perfect person, no perfect country The important thing though is to focus on what is working
Appreciate it so that it appreciates So many people wonder why they are not happy even though they
have all the things that they want in their lives Why? Because there can be too much of a good thing
Remember my favorite piece of music? Whitney Houston - And I Will Always Love You Straight 10
Second favorite: Beethoven's 9th, 9.5 Play together - play together: noise Not 19.5, not 10, not 5
Noise There can be too much of a good thing Easier said than done to simplify But remember that a
much better predictor of well being than material affluence is time affluence Simplify. Assert
yourself Say no at times when it's appropriate Find out what you really, really really want to do with
your life and do it
在课堂上我们讲了很多种干预，大多数干预并不起作用。正如Somerville的研究和其他研究显
示的，而日记可以。在写东西时，我们在打开内心，不管是写，还是和我们关心的人倾诉，可
以是心理咨询师，可以是好朋友，爱人。当我们分享，开放内心时，我们就能建立一种感觉。
用Antonovsky的话来说就是"关联性的感觉"，来看待我们生命中的经历，得到更高层次的快
乐，这是有用的。我们周围和内心有那么多快乐，而问题在于我们注意到它们了吗，还是把它
们想成理所当然。回忆一下appreciate这个词，有两种意思，一种是表示谢谢，这是很好的，
人们常说感恩是最高尚的美德，感激是一件很好的事。第二种意思也同样重要，意思是增值，
当我们感激生活中好的方面，感激人际关系中好的方面，感激我们的伴侣、朋友、同学，感激
我们的国家，这些好处就会增值。不幸的是相反的事也会发生，但我们不予以感恩时，好的方
面就会贬值。世上没有完美的人际关系，没有完美的人，没有完美的国家，最重要的是要关注
什么是有效的，感激它，它才能增值。很多人疑惑自己为什么总是不快乐，即使他们已经得到
了想得到的一切。为什么？因为好东西太多有时也不是好事。还记得我最喜欢的歌吗，
Whitney Houston的《我将永远爱你》，10分满分。第二喜欢的贝多芬第九交响乐，9.5分，在
一起播放，就是噪音。不是19.5分，10分或5分，只是噪音。好东西太多也不是好事，要将一
切简化说起来容易，做起来难。但记住我们说过比物质充裕更能带来幸福的是时间充裕。简
化，果断坚决，在适当的时候学会说"不"，弄清楚你究竟真正想做的东西，然后去做。

The No.1 predictor of well being - relationships The No.1 predictor of well being an intimate
relationship that you cultivate now and in the future matters more than anything else in the world
Yes, even more than a problem set even more than an exam even more than how wildly successful
we are and how admired we are Yeah, that will lead to a spike in our well being very quickly will go
back to base level just like the tenure professors went back to the base level Just like the lottery
winners And the highly successful individuals who thought they had made it and went to the base
level and below because they didn't know what would make them happier Well, this is what can one
of the things that can make us happier And to cultivate relationship means to invest in them to put
time into them To share, to open up Just like we would invest if we found our ideal job, ideal
workplace we would start to invest then Same with relationship Remember movies end where love
begins It's about cultivating the relationship after the screen comes down after the sunset - that's
where the investment that's where the return of investment comes Our mind can only take us only so
far You know I know positive psychology pretty well I apply everything that I talk about here
However, I really think that if I was not cognizant of the body mind connection and applying the
body mind connection to my life I would be far less happy than I am today Why? Because I would
be compromising on my base level God's given gene's given level of well being Because when we
don't exercise it's like taking a depressant And we have to fight our nature And it's very hard to
fight our nature It's very difficult to enhance our levels of well being as is to have to also fight
against nature is incredibly difficult So remember the wonder drug Exercise at least four times a
week for 30 minutes If you can, if you are interested do some formal yoga or mindful meditation
sitting meditation If not, at the very least breathe -breathe deeply a few times a day Three deep
breaths can make a big difference Now is not a bad time to do it Sleep - when possible 8 hours or
somewhere around 8 hours a night of sleep And touch Hug, embrace - an underused sense is so
important Be known rather than be validated And again, all of us have the need to be validated It's
not about getting rid of our dependent self esteem but it is very much about first and foremost being
known expressing rather than impressing Life becomes so much lighter, so much easier so much
more exciting when we are about expressing ourselves Being known rather than being validated
whether it's with our romantic partner our family, our friends, our colleagues, our class the
foundation of the growth of intimacy and passion in long term relationships Easier said than done
It's so important
最能预示幸福的是人际关系，是最能预示幸福的你现在和未来所经营的一段亲密关系比世界任
何事都重要，对甚至比问问题更重要，比考试更重要，比我们有多成功，多被人景仰更重要得
多。对，成功会使我们的幸福感陡升，而很快又降到基础水平，就像获得长期聘用的大学教
授，就像彩票中了大奖的人。那些以为自己非常成功的人，很快会回到基准水平甚至更低，因
为他们不知道什么会让他们更快乐，这就是一种。其中一种让我们更快乐的方法，经营一段感
情就意味着为之投入，向其中投入时间，彼此分享和交流，就像我们会投入，如果我们找到理
想的工作，我们会将自己投入其中。人际关系也是一样，电影总是在结尾时爱情才开始，在大
屏幕暗下来后继续经营感情，在日落之后，此时我们的投入，我们的投入才有了回报。思想带
给我们的前进是有限的，我很了解积极心理学，我实践了所有我教的知识，然而我真的觉得如
果，我不知道精神肉体联系，并将精神肉体联系应用于我的生活，我一定没有今天这么快乐。
为什么？因为我会屈服于上帝决定的基准水平，基因决定的基准幸福水平，因为当我们不锻炼
时，就像打了镇静剂。我们必须和本性抗争，和本性抗争是很难的，提升我们幸福的水平是很
难的，而同时要和本性抗争则是难以想象的困难。还记得灵药吗，每周锻炼四次每次半小时，
如果可以，如果你有兴趣，去做做瑜伽或冥想，打坐冥想。如果不行，那么至少每天深呼吸几
次，三次深呼吸就有显著效果，现在就可以试试。睡眠，可能的话八小时或接近八小时，以及
触摸，抱，拥抱，这个总被忽视的感官却非常重要。被了解而非被证明，我们所有人都需要被
证明。并不是说要完全去除我们依赖别人的自尊，但更首要的是被了解，去表达，而非给他人
留下印象，人生会变得更轻松，更简单，更让人兴奋。如果我们能表达自我，被了解而非被证
明，无论是和我们的伴侣、家人、朋友、同事、同学，这都是在长期人际关系中，亲密和激情
增加的基础，说起来容易做起来难。这非常重要。

Now I tried to have top 10 but I couldn't. I had to have one more so you'll have to excuse me The
last one and the one that brings together all the others on so many levels is the one about change
Finally. You've been waiting the entire semester just for this - well was worth the wait I hope There
are two types - I mean there are many types but there are also two types of graduates from 1504 or
any other class or workshop that is about attaining higher levels of happiness One that at best enjoys
a temperate high Or nice memory and goes back down to base level And the second that enjoys
maybe the same temperate high which cannot last our entire lives but still enjoy continuous growth
throughout their lives And the difference, the primary difference is whether or not you introduce
behavioral changes Remember Peter Drucker - what he said whenever people came to him for a
weekend - seminar intensive he said on Monday ＂Don't call me to tell me how wonderful it was
Call me and tell me what you are doing differently.＂ Because in his 65 years of experience working
with the most successful the most inspiring the best and the brightest people in the world what he's
found that this is what extinguishes real lasting change from a temperate high Don't tell me how
wonderful it was Tell me what you are doing differently on Monday Introduce behavioral changes
now This is the core of change.
我想列出前十，但我做不到，有一个不得不提，所以你们要谅解。最后一点，能将所有东西整
合在一起的一点，就是关于转变的内容。终于讲到了，你们一整个学期就等着它呢，希望不会
辜负你们的期待。有两种，事实上有很多种类型，但有两种类型的学生，上过这门课或其他关
于获得更高层次的幸福的课。一种是会感觉很愉快或美好的回忆，然后回到基准水平。第二种
同样感觉很愉快，虽然不可能持续整个人生，但仍然在未来持续增长。其区别，基本的区别就
在于你是否发生了行为转变。还记得PeterDrucker说过，每当人们去参加他的周末研讨班，他
周一时都会说"别打电话跟我说这课有多棒，而是告诉我你开始变得不一样了"。在他和世界上
最成功，最出色，最聪明的人一起合作的六十五年间，他发现这才是能让人一直保持愉悦平和
的原因。不要告诉我这课有多棒，告诉我你周一做了什么改变，从现在开始进行行为转变，这
就是改变的核心。

What you learned in this class hopefully is only the beginning only the beginning because remember
once again Carlton's study The people who succeed, the most who are the happiest succeed the most
in the ultimate currency in a long term ones who are lifelong learners always asking questions,
always finding out more But there are many people with good intentions many people with good
intentions but good intentions are not enough What we also need is the foundation the empirical,
rigorous scientific foundation of things that work And when we know these things then we pay them
forward then we share them In psychology among other social sciences and sciences in humanities
"What you got here at Harvard? What are you getting here at Harvard?" is that foundation that can
that can make the world a better place I don't teach this class only because it is fun for me it is fun;
yes, it is very pleasurable to me I told you I can't wait for Tuesdays and Thursdays to share what I
care about the most with you Yes it's fun But I don't do it just because of that I do it because I think
the ideas of some of the greatest psychologists that I have quoted and cited and discussed their ideas
can change the world for the better Maslow back in 1954 wrote: ＂I am not only the disinterested
and impersonal seeker for pure cold truth for its own sake I am also very definitely interested and
concerned with man's fate with his ends and goals and with his future I would like to help improve
him and better his prospects I hope to help teach him how to be brotherly cooperative, peaceful,
courageous and just, I think science is the best hope for achieving this and of all the sciences I
consider psychology most important to this end Indeed, I sometimes think that the world will either
be saved by psychologists in the very broadest sense or else it will not be saved at all.＂ In the
broadest sense of psychologists It doesn't mean that you now have to go on and get a PHD in
psychology or to concentrate in psychology But it means to be constant cognizant to be self aware
of what is going on in here the most wondrous and amazing entity in the universe to understand
what's going on here and there, and here and how they are connected and to share it by being
practical idealists And you can make a difference You can make a difference Because the one has
incredible power Remember if you make three people smile and they make three other people smile
After 20 interations you'll touch every single human being on the planet Happiness is contagious Let
me show you one last video of how happiness and joy is contagious Dad is going to make you laugh
now. Ready?
你们在这门课上学到的只是开始，仅仅是开始。回忆下在Carlton的研究中，成功的人，最快乐
的人，就最成功地实现了终极目标，从长远来看，他一生都在学习，永远在问问题，永远探
索。有很多人都有很好的意图，很多人都有很好的意图，但很好的意图还不够，我们需要的还
有基础，实用的严格的，科学的基础来起作用。当我们了解这些东西后，再将它们传递出去，
和他人分享，在很多人文及社会的学科中，包括心理学"你在哈佛收获了什么？得到了什么"。
就是这样一种基础，来使世界变得更美好。我教这门课不仅因为觉得它有趣，它确实很有趣，
我觉得很愉快，我说过我总是等不及到周二和周四，来和你们分享我最关心的东西。是很有
趣，但我教这门课不仅仅因为这个，更因为我认为一些伟大心理学家的想法，我引用过，也讨
论过的，他们的想法能使世界变得更好。1954年时Maslow写道"我不仅是对纯粹的冷漠真理，
公正客观的探索者，我也很有兴趣关注人类的命运，其结局，目标以及未来，我想帮助人类进
步，改善其前景，我希望教会他如何友爱他人、和平互助、勇敢坚毅、正直公平，我认为科学
是达到这个目标最大的希望，而在所有学科中，我认为心理学是最有潜力的。事实上我有时觉
得，世界要么被广义的心理学家拯救，要么就无法被拯救"。广义的心理学家，这并不意味
着，你现在就应该去读个心理学的博士或潜心研究心理学，而是要时刻意识到，了解你大脑中
发生的一切，这宇宙中最令人惊异的实体，了解它发生的一切，周围环境以及你的心，它们是
如何联系在一起的，并作为现实理想主义者来分享它。你们可以有影响，你们可以有影响，每
个人都有不可思议的力量。还记得吗？如果你让三个人微笑，他们会让另外三个人微笑，如此
20次后，就能传到地球上每一个人。快乐是会传染的，我再展示最后一段关于幸福快乐如何传
染的录像。爸爸要惹你们笑了，准备好了吗。

What kind of world that they will grow into depends on you And it depends on whether or not you
first and foremost take care of yourself In the words of Gandhi ＂Be the change you want to see in
the world＂ If you want a happier world, be that change All the places you will go I would like to
remind you that every time you go to a place and very often you will fly to a place that every time
you go you will hear something that hopefully will trigger hopefully will remind you how important
it is to take care of yourself because to take care of others you first and foremost need to take care of
yourself You know when you fly and the flight attendant says in case of any emergency and the
oxygen mask comes down first help yourself before you help others who need your help Because
that is the source the foundation of the golden rule It is the foundation of a better world The ultimate
currency So each time you go to one of those wonderful places exotic or otherwise remember to
simplify remember to take care of yourself remember to exercise remember to assert yourself and
say no when appropriate Remember to cultivate your relationships Remember what it is that is
really really important for you in your life.
他们会在怎样的世界中成长取决于你，取决于你是否首先关注了自身。引用甘地的话"欲变世
界，先变其身"。如果想要更快乐的世界，你自己先快乐起来。所有你们去的地方，我想提醒
你们，每次你们去一个地方，通常情况下，你都会坐飞机去，这样你每次去时，都会听到一些
会引起你反思，照顾自己有多重要的东西。要照顾别人，你首先要照顾自己。当你坐飞机时，
乘务员会说，以防紧急情况，氧气面罩会脱落，首先自己戴上，在去帮助需要帮忙的人。因为
这就是黄金法则的基础，是更美好的世界的基础。终极目标，每次你去某个美丽的地方，国外
或国内，记住要简化问题，记住照顾自己，记住要锻炼，记住要果断坚决，在适当的时候
说"不"，记住要经营你的感情，记住你生命中什么才是真正最最重要的东西。

This experience this semester for me has been extraordinary And it was made extraordinary first by
the amazing teaching staff that we have Won't you come up? Just a few minutes. A few minutes. Not
more. OK? You have no idea what kind of work was going on behind the scenes You have no idea
how much how much each and every one of the teaching staff the head TFs, Shawn and Debb and
every one of the others How much they put into cultivating that relationship with you how many
hours they spent how much, how many mindful and heartful moments they spent So I would like to
thank them, and I would like you to thank them for their presence for who they are So thank you.
Come up. Come up there are many of those to be made But I'd like to give our TFs a little token of
appreciation The way to celebrate your hard work? Do you want to say something? It's your turn
My turn.Thank you Quick, quick, quick. OK So I actually just want to say thank you to all of our
TFs for their great work Thank you to all the students here, the extension students Most importantly
I'd like to thank my mo... No! I'd like to thank Tal So firstly I want to thank Tal's grandparents for
surviving for his parents for thriving for you know what, yeah? for you know what And I'd like to
thank Tammy for putting a smile on Tal's face and Sherill and David for sharing him with us And for
the opportunity for all of us to be a little more human because we are humanless. So thank you We
are not the only one who are in tons of grateful to you You've touched so many people here this
semester and always But your students this semester all sent in thank you notes and we've compiled
them and bounded them for you For all the places you go to, take it with you thank you That is
volume 1 of the gratitude book More letters are coming in So you can still send them
这个经历，这个学期对我来说非常特别，它之所以这么特别首先是因为这些出色的教职员工。
上台来吧，就几分钟，不用太长。你们不知道这幕后有多少工作，你们不知道。这每一个教职
员工，主管助教Shawn和Debb，以及其他助教，他们投入了多少时间来经营和你们的关系，他
们花了多少小时，耗费了多少苦心和思考。我想感谢他们，也希望你们能感激他们的存在和所
做的工作。谢谢你们，来吧，上来。做这些很麻烦，但我想对我们的助教一些小小的表示，来
庆祝你们的辛勤付出。你想说些什么吗？轮到你了，轮到我了，谢谢。快快快。其实我只想说
感谢所有的助教，辛勤的付出。感谢到场的所有同学，以及进修的同学。最重要的是，我想感
谢我的妈，不，我要感谢Tal。首先我要感谢Tal的祖父母生下了他的父母，然后生下了... 是
吧，你们懂的。我想感谢Tammy让Tal总是面带微笑，以及Sherill和David将他和我们大家分
享，感谢给了我们接触人性本质的机会，让我们更人性化，谢谢。要感激你的不仅仅只有我
们，你这学期感动了在场这么多人，其实一直都是。但这学期你的学生都写了感谢信，我们将
它们集合成册送给你，不管去哪你都可以将它带着，谢谢。这是感恩书的第一部，以后还有更
多的信，你可以不断增加。

And finally it wouldn't be... We want a token for you to always remember this class and this great
opportunity something that you would hope to use every time you teach this class in the future I
mean no pressure Because you are king leader, and this hat... Thank you. Thank you Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you Just one more thing One more, one more Thank you. Thank you so much
Just want to say two more things I know we are over time I'm really sorr.. Well one minute I want to
thank just a few other people I would like to thank Barry Reid sitting at the back And the wonderful
crew the wonderful crew who are bringing this class to your home to your computers And finally I
would like to thank you Each and every one of you is an entire world a world in the making in the
making of this world - your world our world a better place So thank you And take care Take a good
care Thank you
最后的最后，我们想给你一个表彰来记住这堂课，以及这次伟大的机会。希望你以后每次上这
门课时，都会用到的东西。不要有压力，因为你是首席，所以这顶帽子，谢谢，谢谢，太感谢
了，谢谢。还有一件事，最后一件事，谢谢，非常感谢。还有两点要说的，我知道已经拖堂
了，十分抱歉，再占用一点时间。我还想感谢一些人，我想感谢坐在后面的Barry Reid，以及
出色的摄制组，这些摄制人员将课堂带回你们家，带到你们的电脑上。最后，我想感谢在座各
位，你们每一个人都是一整个世界。这个世界正在，正在使你我所处的这个世界，变得愈发美
好。谢谢。保重。保重。谢谢。