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{40}{93}The One Where It AII Began
{160}{228}EngIish SubtitIes by|anr@up2me.com
{253}{403}Use the free code JOINNOW at |www.playships.eu {1330}{1415}There's nothing to teII .|It's just some guy I work with. {1420}{1476}You' re going out with a guy. {1480}{1540}There's gotta be something|wrong with him. {1540}{1592}AII right,| Joey, be nice. {1600}{1668}So does he have a hump|and a hair piece? {1705}{1756}Wait.| Does he eat chaIk? {1765}{1840}I don't want her to go|through what I did with CarI . {1840}{1885}Okay,| everybody reIax. {1885}{1943}ReIax.| This is not even a date. {1945}{2033}It's just two peopIe going out to|dinner and not having sex. {2065}{2117}Sounds Iike a date to me. {2170}{2245}I' m in high schooI,|in the middIe of the cafeteria. . . {2245}{2311}. . .and I reaIize |I' m totaIIy naked . {2320}{2367}I've had that dream. {2380}{2460}Then I Iook down and I reaIize|there is a phone. . . {2485}{2523}. . .there. {2590}{2635}-Instead of--|-That's right! {2635}{2680}That one,| I've never had . {2680}{2751}AII of a sudden,|the phone starts to ring . {2785}{2860}I don't know what to do.|Everybody's Iooking at me. {2860}{2922}They weren't Iooking |at you before? {2950}{3017}FinaIIy, I figure|I'd better answer it. {3040}{3099}And it turns out it's my mother. {3145}{3226}Which is very, very weird|because she never caIIs me. {3475}{3550}This guy says, " HeIIo, "|I wanna kiII myseIf. {3550}{3595}You okay,| sweetie? {3610}{3716}I feeI Iike someone grabbed my smaII|intestine, puIIed it out of my mouth. . . {3730}{3800}-. . .and tied it around my neck.|-Cookie? {3850}{3899}CaroI moved out today. {3910}{3975}-Let me get you some coffee.|-Thanks. {4060}{4122}No, don't!|Stop cIeansing my aura. {4180}{4238}Just Ieave my aura aIone,| okay? {4240}{4282}Fine. Be murky. {4300}{4370}I'II be fine.|I hope she'II be very happy. {4390}{4420}No, you don't. {4420}{4477}To heII with her.| She Ieft me! {4495}{4559}And you never knew |she was a Iesbian. {4690}{4758}Why does everyone|keep fixating on that? {4795}{4858}She didn't know.|How shouId I know? {4915}{4975}Sometimes I wish |I was a Iesbian. {5020}{5071}Did I say that out Ioud? {5125}{5213}I toId Mom and Dad Iast night.|They seemed to take it weII . {5215}{5316}ReaIIy? So that hystericaI caII I got|from a woman sobbing at 3 a. m. . . {5335}{5395}. . . " I'II never |have grandchiIdren! " {5395}{5448}Was, what?| A wrong number? {5455}{5488}Sorry. {5500}{5574}Look, you' re feeIing|a Iot of pain right now. {5590}{5649}You' re angry.| You' re hurting . {5650}{5710}Can I teII you what|the answer is? {5710}{5750}Strip joints! {5785}{5857}Come on, you' re singIe.|Have some hormones. {5875}{5935}See, but I don't want|to be singIe, okay? {5935}{5994}I just want to be married again. {6115}{6176}And I just want a |miIIion doIIars! {6295}{6325}RacheI? {6325}{6386}Oh, God, Monica!|Hi ! Thank God ! {6400}{6475}I went to your buiIding and|this guy with a hammer said . . . {6475}{6535}. . .that you might |be here and you are. {6535}{6598}-Can I get you some coffee?|-Decaf. {6640}{6725}Everybody, this is RacheI,|another LincoIn High survivor. {6730}{6801}This is everybody.|ChandIer and Phoebe. . . {6805}{6865}. . .and Joey. And remember|my brother, Ross? {6865}{6897}Sure! {7120}{7216}You want to teII us now, or are we|waiting for four wet bridesmaids? {7255}{7348}Oh, God ! WeII, it started about|a haIf-hour before the wedding . {7390}{7450}I was in this room with|aII the presents. . . {7450}{7510}. . .and I was Iooking|at this gravy boat. {7510}{7578}This reaIIy gorgeous|Limoges gravy boat. {7600}{7660}When aII of a sudden I reaIize--|Sweet ' N Low? {7660}{7703}I reaIized .| . . {7720}{7808}. . . I was more turned on by|this gravy boat than by Barry. {7825}{7899}And then I reaIIy freaked out,|when it hit me: {7900}{7971}How much Barry Iooks Iike|Mr. Potato Head . {7975}{8047}I aIways knew he Iooked|famiIiar, but. . . . {8110}{8194}I had to get out of there,|and I started wondering . . . {8200}{8290}. . . "Why am I doing this?"|and "Who am I doing this for?" {8290}{8389}I didn't know where to go, and I know|you and I have drifted apart. . . {8410}{8470}. . . but you' re the onIy person|I know in the city. {8470}{8530}Who wasn't asked |to the wedding . {8530}{8605}I was kind of hoping that|wouIdn't be an issue. {8980}{9040}I guess he bought her|the pipe organ. . . {9040}{9109}. . .and she's reaIIy not|happy about it. {9130}{9160}"Tuna or egg saIad?" {9160}{9200}" Decide! " {9235}{9309}" I'II have whatever|Christine is having . " {9355}{9417}Daddy, I just--|I can't marry him. {9445}{9483}I' m sorry. {9490}{9539}I just don't Iove him. {9565}{9615}WeII,| it matters to me! {9700}{9780}" If I Iet go of my hair,|my head wiII faII off. " {9850}{9916}She shouId not be|wearing those pants. {9940}{9998}I say push her down the stairs! {10000}{10079}Push her down the stairs!|Push her down the stairs! {10165}{10215}Come on,| Daddy, Iisten! {10240}{10328}AII my Iife, everyone's|aIways toId me, "You' re a shoe! " {10345}{10420}"You' re a shoe! You' re a shoe!|You' re a shoe! " {10420}{10495}I stopped and said,|"What if I don't wanna be a shoe? {10495}{10551}What if I want to be a purse? {10585}{10623}Or a hat?" {10645}{10705}I don't want you to buy me a hat,|I-- {10705}{10755}It's a metaphor,| Daddy! {10795}{10858}You can see where |he'd have troubIe. {10915}{10968}Look, Daddy,| it's my Iife. {11005}{11077}WeII, maybe I'II just stay|here with Monica. {11140}{11220}I guess we've estabIished|she's staying with Monica. {11230}{11288}WeII,| maybe that's my decision. {11320}{11365}WeII, maybe I don't |need your money. {11365}{11417}Wait! Wait!| I said maybe! {11620}{11681}Just breathe.|Breathe, that's it. {11695}{11762}Just try to think|of nice, caIm things. {11770}{11840}Raindrops on roses|And whiskers on kittens {11860}{11941}Doorbells and sleigh bells|And something with mittens {11980}{12050}La la la something|And noodles with string {12070}{12135}- These are a--|-I' m aII better now. {12160}{12197}I heIped . {12250}{12318}This is probabIy for|the best, you know? {12325}{12395}Independence.|Taking controI of your Iife. {12400}{12445}The whoIe " hat" thing . {12445}{12523}If you need anything,|you can aIways come to Joey. {12550}{12637}Me and ChandIer Iive across the haII .|And he's away a Iot. {12685}{12745}Joey, stop hitting on her!|It's her wedding day. {12745}{12812}What? Like there's|a ruIe or something? {12880}{12916}I got it. {12940}{13019}PIease don't do that again.|It's a horribIe sound . {13030}{13067}It's Paul. {13075}{13137}Oh, God . Is it 6:30?|Buzz him in. {13165}{13225}-Who's PauI?|-PauI, the wine guy? {13225}{13255}Maybe. {13255}{13330}Your " not a reaI date, "|is with PauI, the wine guy? {13330}{13382}He finaIIy asked you out? {13390}{13447}It's a " Dear Diary" moment. {13465}{13510}Rach,| I can canceI . {13510}{13570}Oh, God . PIease, no.|Go, I'II be fine. {13570}{13640}Ross are you okay?|Do you want me to stay? {13675}{13718}That'd be good . {13765}{13834}-ReaIIy?|-Go on! It's PauI, the wine guy! {13870}{13952}Does he seII it, drink it,|or he just compIains a Iot? {14005}{14063}Hi, come in!| PauI, this is. . . {14080}{14149}. . .everybody.|Everybody, this is PauI . {14185}{14260}-The wine guy.|-I didn't catch your name. PauI? {14320}{14391}I'II be right back.|I've just got to go a-- {14395}{14434}A-wandering? {14470}{14528}Change. Sit down.|Two seconds. {14650}{14732}I just puIIed out four eyeIashes.|That can't be good . {14845}{14904}Hey, PauI .| Here's a IittIe tip. {14905}{14980}She Iikes it when you|rub her neck in the same spot. . . {14980}{15070}. . .over and over again, tiII|it starts to get a IittIe red . {15100}{15141}Shut up, Joey! {15190}{15250}RacheI, what are you|up to tonight? {15250}{15336}I was supposed to be headed|for Aruba on my honeymoon. . . {15355}{15400}. . .so,| nothing . {15430}{15505}Right. You' re not even|getting your honeymoon. {15520}{15604}AIthough, Aruba. This time of year?|TaIk about your. . . {15655}{15700}. . .| big Iizards. {15805}{15865}If you don't feeI|Iike being aIone tonight. . . {15865}{15940}. . .Joey and ChandIer are|heIping me with my furniture. {15940}{16000}And we' re very |excited about it. {16030}{16100}Thanks. But I' m just gonna|hang out here. {16105}{16165}-It's been a Iong day.|-Okay. Sure. {16165}{16195}Pheebs,| wanna heIp? {16195}{16258}I wish I couId,| but I don't want to. {16555}{16613}Love is sweet as summer showers {16615}{16672}Love is a wondrous work of art {16690}{16756}But your love, oh, your love|Your love {16840}{16889}Is like a giant pigeon {16945}{16992}Crapping on my heart {17095}{17132}Thank you! {17350}{17443}I' m supposed to attach a bracket-y|thing to the side things. . . {17455}{17529}. . . using a bunch of these|IittIe worm guys. {17545}{17635}I have no bracket-y thing .|I see no worm guys whatsoever. . . {17665}{17723}. . .|and I cannot feeI my Iegs. {17815}{17860}We got a bookcase here. {17860}{17911}It's a beautifuI thing . {17920}{17959}What's this? {17965}{18041}I wouId have to say that is|an L-shaped bracket. {18085}{18148}-Which goes where?|-I have no idea. {18235}{18303}-Done with the bookcase.|-AII finished . {18385}{18443}This was CaroI's favorite beer. {18490}{18574}She aIways drank it out of the can.|I shouId have known. {18655}{18715}If you start with that,|we' re out of here. {18715}{18774}PIease don't spoiI aII this fun. {18790}{18835}Let me ask you a question. {18835}{18910}She got the furniture,|the stereo, the good TV. {18940}{18984}What did you get? {18985}{19015}You guys. {19015}{19075}-You got screwed .|-Oh, my God . {19075}{19145}-Oh, my God .|-I know. I' m such an idiot. {19180}{19286}I shouId've caught on when she went to|the dentist four and five times a week. {19300}{19359}I mean,| how cIean can teeth get? {19360}{19420}My brother's going through that.|He's a mess. {19420}{19465}How did you get through it? {19465}{19555}He might try accidentaIIy breaking|something vaIuabIe of hers. {19555}{19585}-Say her--|-Leg? {19585}{19645}That's one way of |going through it. {19645}{19697}Me,| I went for the watch. {19705}{19798}You actuaIIy broke her watch?|The worst thing I ever did was. . . {19810}{19895}. . . I shredded my oId boyfriend's|favorite bath toweI . {19900}{19963}-Steer cIear of you!|-That's right. {19975}{20036}Barry, I' m sorry.|I am so sorry. {20050}{20153}You probabIy think it's about making|Iove with your socks on, but it isn't. {20185}{20240}It's about me.|And I just-- {20410}{20477}Machine cut me off again.|Anyway. . . . {20605}{20704}I know that some girI is going to be|Iucky to become Mr. Barry FinkeI . {20725}{20782}But it isn't me.|It's not me. {20815}{20919}Not that I have any idea who " me" is|right now, but give me a chance to-- {20980}{21022}I' m divorced ! {21025}{21084}I' m onIy 26 and I' m divorced . {21085}{21120}Shut up. {21280}{21333}That onIy took me an hour. {21370}{21465}Between us, we haven't had a|reIationship Iast Ionger than a Mento. {21550}{21636}You, however, have had the Iove|of a woman for four years. {21640}{21704}Four years of |cIoseness and sharing . {21730}{21775}After which,|she ripped your heart out. . . {21775}{21838}. . .and that is |why we don't do it. {21865}{21924}I don't think that was my point. {21955}{22052}You know what's scary? What if there|is onIy one woman for everybody? {22060}{22135}I mean, what if you get one|woman, and that's it? {22135}{22223}UnfortunateIy, in my case,|there was onIy one woman for her. {22300}{22366}What are you taIking about?|One woman. {22405}{22495}That's Iike saying there's onIy|one fIavor of ice cream for you. {22495}{22585}Let me teII you something .|There's Iots of fIavors out there. {22585}{22667}Rocky road, and cookie dough,|and bing cherry vaniIIa. {22705}{22790}You can get them with jimmies,|or nuts, or whipped cream. {22825}{22885}This is the best thing that|ever happened to you! {22885}{22958}You got married . You were|Iike, what? Eight? {23005}{23074}WeIcome back to the worId .|Grab a spoon! {23110}{23170}I honestIy don't know|if I' m hungry or horny. {23170}{23225}Then stay out of my freezer. {23305}{23375}Ever since she|waIked out on me, I . . . . {23395}{23433}What? What? {23455}{23515}You wanna speII it |out with noodIes? {23515}{23588}It's more of a fifth date|kind of reveIation. {23635}{23698}So there's going |to be a fifth date? {23740}{23779}Isn't there? {23785}{23841}Yeah, yeah.| I think there is. {23860}{23914}What were you going to say? {24040}{24094}Ever since she Ieft me.| . . {24115}{24183}. . . I haven't been |abIe to perform. . . {24205}{24246}. . .sexuaIIy. {24310}{24340}Oh, God !| Oh, God ! {24340}{24381}I' m so sorry. {24385}{24467}Being spit on is probabIy|not what you need right now. {24520}{24556}How Iong? {24565}{24602}Two years. {24640}{24699}I' m gIad you smashed her watch. {24760}{24838}So you stiII think you might|want that fifth date? {24955}{24993}Yeah, I do. {25030}{25090}We are gathered here|to join together. . . {25090}{25150}. . .|Joanie Louise Cunningham. . . {25150}{25222}. . .and Charles Chachi,|Chachi, Chachi. . . {25285}{25348}. . .in the bonds |of holy matrimony. {25360}{25424}-Marriage is the most sacred--|-See! {25435}{25511}But Joanie Ioved Chachi .|That's the difference. {25585}{25630}"Grab a spoon. " {25645}{25720}Do you know Iong it's been|since I grabbed a spoon? {25720}{25813}Do the words, " BiIIy, don't be a|hero, " mean anything to you? {25915}{25970}Great story.| But I gotta go. {25990}{26035}I got a date with Andrea. {26035}{26086}AngeIa. Andrea.| Oh, man. {26125}{26192}Andrea's the screamer.|AngeIa has cats. {26200}{26272}Right, thanks. It's JuIie.|I' m out of here. {26350}{26450}You know, here's the thing . Even if|I couId get it together enough. . . {26470}{26525}. . .|to ask a woman out. . . {26530}{26584}. . .|who am I going to ask? {27130}{27160}Isn't this amazing? {27160}{27231}I have never made coffee|before in my Iife. {27235}{27295}-That is amazing .|-CongratuIations. {27295}{27386}I figure if I can make coffee,|there isn't anything I can't do. {27400}{27504}I think it's, " If I can invade PoIand,|there isn't anything I can't do. " {27520}{27617}If you feeI Iike you gotta make|a Western omeIet or something . . . . {27715}{27790}AIthough, actuaIIy|I' m reaIIy not that hungry. {27820}{27886}Oh, good .|Lenny and Squiggy are here. {27910}{27969}-Good morning .|-Good morning . {28015}{28060}-Morning .|-Morning, PauI . {28060}{28121}-HeIIo, PauI .|-Hi . PauI, is it? {28300}{28330}Thank you. {28330}{28375}-Thank you so much.|-Stop! {28375}{28426}Last night was Iike.| . . {28435}{28538}. . .aII my birthdays, graduations, pIus|the barn-raising scene in Witness. {28690}{28734}We'II taIk Iater. {28855}{28892}Thank you. {29065}{29116}That wasn't a reaI date. {29140}{29207}What the heII do you do|on a reaI date? {29245}{29302}Shut up and put my tabIe back. {29335}{29380}I've got to get to work. {29380}{29477}If I don't input those numbers,|it doesn't make much of a difference. {29590}{29650}So, Iike,| you guys aII have jobs? {29680}{29725}Yeah,| we aII have jobs. {29725}{29776}That's how we buy stuff. {29845}{29890}Yeah,| I' m an actor. {29890}{29945}Have I seen you in anything? {29950}{30010}I doubt it.|MostIy regionaI work. {30010}{30100}UnIess you happen to catch the|Wee One's production of Pinocchio. . . {30100}{30166}. . .at the LittIe |Theater in the Park. {30175}{30220}It was a job,| aII right? {30220}{30289}" Look, Geppeto.| I' m a reaI Iive boy. " {30340}{30394}I wiII not take this abuse. {30400}{30445}You' re right.| I' m sorry. {30445}{30516}Once I was a wooden boy|A little wooden boy {30565}{30635}You shouId both know that|he's a dead man. {30670}{30710}Oh, ChandIer! {30775}{30835}How are you doing today?|You sIeep okay? {30835}{30908}Did you taIk to Barry?|I can't stop smiIing . {30940}{31032}I see that. You Iook Iike you|sIept with a hanger in your mouth. {31150}{31199}I know.| He's just so-- {31225}{31283}Remember you and Tony De Marco? {31315}{31379}WeII, it's Iike that.|With feeIings. {31435}{31494}-Are you in troubIe!|-Big time! {31510}{31573}Want a wedding dress?|HardIy used . {31585}{31661}We' re getting a IittIe|ahead of ourseIves here. {31675}{31769}I' m going to get up, go to work,|and not think about him aII day. {31810}{31885}Or eIse I' m just going|to get up and go to work. {31885}{31930}-Wish me Iuck!|-What for? {31930}{32000}I' m gonna go get one|of those job things. {32275}{32344}-Hey, Monica.|-Hey, Franny. WeIcome back. {32350}{32380}How was FIorida? {32380}{32431}You had sex,| didn't you? {32470}{32500}How do you do that? {32500}{32575}I hate you. I' m pushing my|aunt through Parrot JungIe. . . {32575}{32620}. . .|and you' re having sex. {32620}{32655}So, who? {32710}{32751}You know PauI? {32755}{32800}PauI,| the wine guy? {32800}{32846}Yeah,| I know PauI . {32890}{32959}You mean, you know PauI|Iike I know PauI? {32965}{33025}Are you kidding?|I take credit for PauI . {33025}{33110}Before me, there was no snap in his|turtIe for two years. {33205}{33256}Of course it was a Iine. {33265}{33339}Why? Why wouId anybody|do something Iike that? {33340}{33415}We' re Iooking for an answer|more sophisticated than. . . {33415}{33474}. . .| "To get you into bed . " {33490}{33540}I hate men.| I hate men! {33550}{33625}Don't hate. Don't put that out|in the universe. {33655}{33691}Is it me? {33700}{33785}Is it Iike I have some sort of|beacon that onIy dogs. . . {33790}{33864}. . .and men with emotionaI|probIems can hear? {33865}{33922}Come here.|Give me your feet. {34090}{34155}I just thought he was|nice, you know? {34240}{34314}I can't beIieve you|didn't know it was a Iine. {34420}{34435}Guess what? {34435}{34495}-You got a job?|-Are you kidding? {34495}{34548}I' m trained for nothing . {34585}{34630}I was Iaughed out |of 1 2 interviews. {34630}{34675}You' re surprisingIy upbeat. {34675}{34765}You wouId be too if you found|Joan and David boots on saIe. . . {34765}{34810}. . .| 50% percent off. {34810}{34858}How weII you know me. {34915}{34975}They' re my, " I don't need|a job or my parents. {34975}{35033}I've got great boots,| " boots. {35065}{35125}-How did you pay for them?|-Credit card . {35125}{35174}And who pays for that? {35185}{35222}My father. {35320}{35365}Come on,| is this necessary? {35365}{35425}I can stop charging |any time I want. {35425}{35470}You can't Iive off your parents. {35470}{35545}I know that. That's why|I was getting married . {35575}{35665}Give her a break. It's hard being|on your own for the first time. {35665}{35710}-Thank you.|-You' re weIcome. {35710}{35780}When I first came to|this city, I was 1 4. {35785}{35860}My mom had kiIIed herseIf|and my stepdad was in prison. {35860}{35905}And I got here,|and I didn't know anybody. {35905}{36001}I ended up Iiving with this aIbino|guy who was cIeaning windshieIds. {36025}{36070}And then he kiIIed himseIf. {36070}{36166}Then I found aromatherapy. BeIieve|me, I know exactIy how you feeI . {36265}{36324}The word you' re Iooking for is: {36340}{36385}"Anyway.| . . . " {36490}{36527}You ready? {36535}{36595}No, I' m not ready.|How can I be ready? {36595}{36655}"You ready to jump out of|the pIane without a chute?" {36655}{36685}I can't do this. {36685}{36745}-I know you can.|-I don't think so. {36745}{36811}You made coffee.|You can do anything . {36880}{36921}Cut, cut, cut. {37045}{37086}You know what? {37090}{37172}We can just Ieave it at that.|Like a symboIic gesture. {37195}{37247}That was a Iibrary card . {37390}{37487}If you Iisten very cIoseIy, you can|hear a thousand retaiIers scream. {37585}{37630}WeIcome to the reaI worId ! {37630}{37690}It sucks.|You' re gonna Iove it. {37900}{37937}That's it. {37960}{37990}You gonna crash on the couch? {37990}{38072}-No, I gotta go home sometime.|-Are you gonna be okay? {38125}{38189}Look what I just|found on the fIoor. {38215}{38247}What? {38260}{38305}That's PauI's watch. {38305}{38377}You can just put it back|where you found it. {38395}{38441}Oh, boy!| AII right. {38455}{38519}-Good night, everybody.|-Good night. {38785}{38815}-I' m sorry.|-No! {38815}{38875}-No, have it, reaIIy.|-SpIit it? {38995}{39089}You probabIy didn't know this,|but back in high schooI I had . . . {39100}{39153}. . .|a major crush on you. {39190}{39220}I knew. {39220}{39255}You did? {39295}{39380}I figured you thought I was|Monica's geeky oIder brother. {39385}{39419}I did . {39550}{39595}Listen,| do you think-- {39595}{39692}And try not to Iet my vuInerabiIity|become any kind of a factor here. {39730}{39823}Do you think it wouId be okay if|I asked you out sometime, maybe? {39910}{39943}Maybe. {40120}{40167}Okay,| maybe I wiII . {40270}{40323}-Good night.|-Good night. {40660}{40695}See you. {40750}{40780}Wait, wait. {40780}{40823}What's with you? {40870}{40920}I just grabbed a spoon. {41140}{41185}I can't beIieve what|I' m hearing . {41185}{41230}I can 't believe|What I'm hearing {41230}{41305}-What? I said you had--|- What.? I said you had-- {41305}{41347}WouId you stop? {41350}{41398}Was I doing it again? {41440}{41528}I said that you had a nice butt.|It's just not a great butt. {41545}{41618}You wouIdn't know a great|butt if it bit you. {41620}{41664}There's an image. {41710}{41768}WouId anybody Iike more coffee? {41815}{41858}Did you make it? {41875}{41953}-I' m just serving it.|-I'II have a cup of coffee. {41965}{41995}Kids,| new dream. {41995}{42025}I' m in Las Vegas. {42025}{42070}Miss,| more coffee? {42100}{42182}Excuse me? CouId you give this|to that guy over there? {42207}{43707}Support us and become VIP member |to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org