from SUNSET BOULEVARD

(about to lose it) I can't go on with the scene. I'm TOO happy! (laughs) Mr. De Mille, do you
mind if I say a few words? Thank you. I just want to tell you all how happy I am to be back in
the studio making a picture again! You don't know how much I've missed all of you. And I
promise you, I'll never desert you again because after Salome, we'll make another picture, and
another picture! (might cry) You see, this is my life. It always will be! (In a whisper) There's
nothing else - just us - and the cameras - and those wonderful people out there in the dark. All
right, Mr. De Mille, I'm ready for my close-up.

from GONE WITH THE WIND

(very dramatically) I’m not asking you to forgive me. I’ll never understand or forgive myself.
And if a bullet gets me, so help me, I’ll laugh at myself for being an idiot. There's one thing
I do know, and that is that I love you, Scarlett. In spite of you and me and the whole silly world
going to pieces around us, I love you. Because we're alike - bad lots both of us, selfish and
shrewd, but able to look things in the eyes and call them by their right names. Scarlett, look at
me. I've loved you more than I've ever loved any woman. I've waited longer for you than I've
ever waited for any woman. Here's a soldier of the South who loves you, Scarlett, wants to feel
your arms around him, wants to carry the memory of your kisses into battle with him. Never
mind about loving me. You're a woman sending a soldier to his death with a beautiful memory.

from 42ND STREET

You'll get your Pretty Lady. You haven't got anything to worry about. I'm not gonna let you
down because I can't afford to. I've given everything I've had to that gulch down there and it's
taken all I had to offer. Oh, it paid me, sure, in money I couldn't hang on to - fair-weather
friends, women, headlines! Hah! Why even the cops and the newsboys recognize me on sight!
'Marsh, the Magnificent.' 'Marsh the Slave-Driver!' Actors tell ya how Marsh drove 'em and
bullied 'em and even tore it out of 'em! And maybe there's a few that'll tell ya how Marsh really
made 'em. And they've all got somethin' to show for it - except Marsh. Well, this is my last shot!
I'll make a few more actors. But this time, I'm gonna sock my money away so hard that they'll
have to blast to find enough to buy a newspaper. That's why I'm goin' ahead with Pretty Lady.
And Pretty Lady's got to be a hit. It's my last show and it's got to be my best. (pause) You're
counting on me? Well, I'm counting on Pretty Lady, because it's got to support me for a long
time to come.
from MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN

About my playing the tuba. Seems like a lot of fuss has been made about that. If, if a man's crazy
just because he plays the tuba, then somebody'd better look into it, because there are a lot of tuba
players running around loose. 'Course, I don't see any harm in it. I play mine whenever I want to
concentrate. That may sound funny to some people, but everybody does something silly when
they're thinking. For instance, the judge here is, is an O-filler....An O-filler. You fill in all the
spaces in the O's with your pencil. I was watching him. That may make you look a little crazy,
your Honor, just, just sitting around and filling in O's, but I don't see anything wrong 'cause that
helps you think. Other people are doodlers. This is the piece of paper this other guy was
scribbling on. I can't figure it out. One minute it looks like a chimpanzee, and the next minute, it
looks like a picture of Mr. Cedar. You look at it, Judge. Exhibit A for the defense. It looks kind
of stupid, doesn't it, your Honor? But I guess that's alright if Dr. Von Haller has to doodle to help
him think, that's his business. Everybody does something different. Some people are ear-pullers,
some are nail-biters. That Mr. Semple over there is a nose-twitcher. And the lady next to him is
a knuckle-cracker. So you see, everybody does silly things to help them think. Well, I play the
tuba.

from 42ND STREET

All right, now, everybody. Quiet, and listen to me. Tomorrow morning, we're gonna start a show.
We're gonna rehearse for five weeks and we're gonna open on scheduled time. And
I mean scheduled time. You're gonna work and sweat and work some more. You're gonna work
days, and you're gonna work nights. And you're gonna work between time when I think you need
it. You're gonna dance until your feet fall off and you're not able to stand up any longer. BUT
five weeks from now, we're going to have a show! Now, some of you people have been with me
before. You know it's gonna be a tough grind. It's gonna be the toughest five weeks that you ever
lived through. Do you all get that? Now anybody who doesn't think he's gonna like it had better
quit right now. (pause) What do I hear? Nobody? Good. Then that's settled. We start tomorrow
morning.

from GYPSY
(to cameraman) I said turn it off! Nobody laughs at me, because I laugh first. At me. Me from
Seattle. Me with no education. Me with no talent, as you've kept reminding me my whole life!
Well, Mama, look at me now. Look! Look where I live. Look at my friends. Look where I'm
going. I'm not staying in burlesque, I'm moving. Maybe up maybe down. But wherever I'm
going, I'm having the time of my life, because for the first time, it is MY life! And I love it! I
love every second of it! I am Gypsy Rose Lee! And I love her! And if you don't, you can just
clear out! Now!
from 42ND STREET

Now, Sawyer, you listen to me and you listen hard. 200 people, 200 jobs, $200,000 dollars! Five
weeks of grind and blood and sweat, and it all depends on what you do out there tonight. Oh, I
know what you’re thinking. Here comes Marsh with another one of his pep talks. Well, this is the
last of them, Sawyer, and it comes straight from the heart. Our hopes, our futures, our lives are in
your hands. It's the lives of all these people who've worked with you. You've got to go on, and
you have to give and give and give. They've got to like you, they've got to. Do you understand?
You can't fall down, you can't, because your future's in it, my future and everything all of us have
is staked on you. All right now, I'm through. But you keep your feet on the ground, and your
head on those shoulders of yours and go out there and make them shine with your golden talent!
And Sawyer, you're going out there a youngster, but you've got to come back a star.

from GUYS & DOLLS

Nathan, no matter how terrible a fellow seems, you can never be sure that some girl won’t go for
him. Take us. (smiles) Nathan darling. Starting with next week, I’m going to get a raise. So with
what I’ll be making, I wondered what you would think — maybe we could finally get married?
You see, Nathan, I’m starting to worry about Mother. (pause) Well, Nathan, this is something I
never told you before, but my mother, back in Rhode Island, she thinks we’re married already…
Well, I couldn’t be engaged for fourteen years, could I? People don’t do that in Rhode Island.
They all get married. Anyway, I wrote here I was married. Then, (pause) after about two years
we had a baby… I had to Nathan. Mother wouldn’t have understood if we hadn’t. (smiles) It was
a boy, I named it after you, Nathan. He’s in boarding school now. I wrote Mother he won the
football game last Saturday. But Nathan, that’s not all Nathan. All those years, Nathan. Mother
believes in big families… We now have five children, Nathan. But, Nathan, now that we’re
finally getting married, it won’t be a lie anymore!

from MAULED
That's it. I quit. I'm tired of you all chasing me and going crazy over me... I can't step outside
without being mauled. I used to like to take walks in the park.... I haven't seen a park in years. I
just want to go to a park and feed some ducks... and watch them maul each other over bread.
What are you all mauling me over? I don't get it. Why can't you all leave me alone! (pause) So, I
quit. I don't want to be your star anymore. I just want to be able to get a cup of coffee, take a
walk and maybe... see a movie. And be left alone! Get it! Stop! I am not doing this anymore.
from GUYS & DOLLS
Nathan, let me tell you a story. (pause) When I was a young man about to go out into the world,
my father says to me a very valuable thing. He says to me like this: “Son,” the old guy says, “I
am sorry that I am not able to bankroll you to a very large start, but not having any potatoes to
give you I am now going to stake you to some very valuable advice. One of these days in your
travels a guy is going to come to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards in which the
seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of
Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But son, do not bet this man, for sure as
you stand there you are going to wind up with an earful of cider.” (pause) Now, Nathan, I do not
claim that you have been clocking Mindy’s cheesecake, but if you’re really looking for some
action, I will bet you the same thousand that you do not know the color of the necktie you have
on right now.

from ALL I DESIRE

I'd like to leave you thinking I was up there in lights, but... I've got enough on my conscience
without... oh, never mind. (pause) You think all you have to do is get on that train and when you
get off, you'll be in a star's dressing room? (scoffs) Oh, no, the theater's a tough jungle, kids. I've
got no glory, no glamour, and bruises on my illusions. And I can't complain; I never starved. I've
been a stooge for a trained seal. I sold corsets when times were bad. I live in cheap hotels and
con the bookers so they won't know how bad I need money. And I can name a pawn shop in
every town on the circuit. Next season, if I'm lucky I'll do a rather tired single. It’s not very
dignified, and I'll be billed below the dog acts! But if you want to come and join me... I'd love to
have you with me.

from DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDRELS

Freddy, as a younger man, I wanted things too. I longed to be someone remarkable - a painter, a
poet, musician. There was only one problem; I had no talent. I woke up one morning to the
frustrating conclusion that all I had to offer the world was taste. And a certain charm.
Imagination, supreme confidence, classic good looks.... I realized that day I would have to use
those attributes to create a world I would never be allowed access to otherwise. Freddy, what I'm
trying to say is - know your limitations. In other words, Freddy… you are an idiot.
from FUNNY GIRL
Suppose all ya ever had for breakfast was onion rolls. Then one day, in walks (gasp) a bagel!
You'd say, 'Ugh, what's that?' Until you tried it! That's my problem - I'm a bagel on a plate full of
onion rolls. Nobody recognizes me! Listen, I got 36 expressions. Sweet as pie and tough as
leather. And that's six expressions more than all those Barrymores put together. Instead of just
kicking me, why don't they give me a lift? (realizes) Well, it must be a plot, 'cause they're scared
that I got such a gift! 'Cause I'm the greatest star, I am by far, but no one knows it. Wait - they're
gonna hear a voice, a silver flute. Now can't you see to look at me that I'm a natural?! Kid, I
know I'd be divine because I'm a natural cougher (coughs) - some ain't got it, not a lump. I'm a
great big clump of talent! Laugh, they'll bend in half. Did you ever hear the story about the
travelling salesman? A thousand jokes, stick around for the jokes. A thousand faces. I reiterate.
When you're gifted, then you're gifted. These are facts! In all the world so far, I'm the greatest
star! No autographs, please. What? You think beautiful girls are gonna stay in style forever? I
should say not! Any minute now they're gonna be out! FINISHED! Then it'll be my turn!

from THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE

Hey, I feel for you. Girls like you arrive here every day, so full of dreams you may as well be
sleepwalking. Well, now that you’re awake, why not ask yourself, “Do I belong here?” ’Cause
New York is great, but the cost of living is high, and I’m not talkin’ cash. And I can’t help
thinking if I were in your shoes, I’d make a beeline back to Keokuck or Gopherville or where did
you say you’re from? Kansas? You’ve got a place to stay? Any friends or family nearby? And
you don’t have a job? You ain’t got nothin’! Kansas, was it? You’ll soon say to yourself, “Well I
had my big adventure, but it sure is good to be back in my own bed.”

from SWEET CHARITY

(very dramatically) Nickie, why did he do it, why? I bought him everything he ever wanted. I
even got him a midnight blue Mohair 79 dollar Italian suit that he could have bought for 45 at
Howards. But that louse wouldn’t wear a Howards suit. The things I used to do for him. Getting
up in the middle of the night to get him a provolone sandwich and a bottle of Yoo-Hoo chocolate
milk. Well, I’ve had it up to here, Mister. You can slip and slide your greasy head on some other
girl’s shoulder! I hope your tight Italian pants choke you to death!
from THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE
Hey, I’m broke, not poor. There a big difference. Poor sounds permanent, broke can be fixed. I
have a plan so far ahead of its time it’s almost too bold, too daring, too new woman! I’m going to
marry my boss. I don’t know when. As a matter of fact, I haven’t got a boss yet. Love has
nothing to do with it! Don’t you read Vogue? This month’s issue clearly states that modern
marriage is a business arrangement. Love comes later, occasionally with the man you’re actually
married to. I’m looking for him in the classifieds. I’ve been interviewing boss after boss, but so
far, married, married, engaged, married, single-and-I-can-see-why… I even read in the tabloids
“Manhattan’s most eligible bachelors, the movers and shakers that make Manhattan tick!” ... all
of them need wives... and at least one of them must need a stenographer!

from 42ND STREET

I've got something to say to Miss Sawyer. So, you're going to take my place. And you think you
know how tough it must be for me? Do you really? I'm not so sure. Ever since I was a tiny little
girl and saw my first Julian Marsh show, I've dreamed of the day when I might work with the
King of Broadway. When I started out for the theatre this afternoon, I wanted to tear your heart
out. I wanted to hate you! I wanted to see you fail. You, singing my songs, wearing my costumes,
playing my role! But sitting there in that theatre and watching you rehearse, I found I couldn't
hate you... Because... you're good. Maybe even better than I would have been. The public wants
youth, freshness, beauty, and Peggy, that's what you've got. I have only one last wish for you, my
dear. (smiles) Get out there and be so swell you'll make me hate you.