The Importance

__________________________

Audition Draft
2.1.2020

By Sara Jean Accuardi

This play was commissioned by Franklin High School in collaboration with Teen West
Theatre Project.

This script is copyright protected and may not be reproduced, distributed, or disseminated
without the prior written permission of the author.

sjaccuardi@gmail.com
Characters

DREW In 11th grade. Got the part of John (Jack) Worthing. (he/his/him)
TANNER In 12th grade. Got the part of Algernon Moncrieff. (he/his/him)
JULES In 12th grade. Got the part of Gwendolyn Fairfax. (she/her/hers)
SLOAN In 10th grade. Got the part of Cecily Cardew. (she/her/hers)
GREER In 11th grade. Got the part of Lady Bracknell. (she/her/hers)
SAGE In 11th grade. Got the part of Miss Prism. (she/her/hers)
PEYTON In 10th grade. Got the part of Rev. Canon Chasuble. (they/them/theirs)
EVAN In 10th grade. Got the part of Lane. (he/him/his)
ASHTON In 9th grade. Got the part of Merriman. (she/her/hers)
RILEY In 12th grade. Got the part of... the under butler? What? (she/her/hers)
MORGAN In 11th grade. The props master. (they/them/theirs)
NICO In 11th grade. The stage manger. (she/her/hers)
KAI In 12th grade. The costumer. (they/them/theirs)
VICK In 12th grade. The student director. (they/them/theirs)
CHARLIE F. In 9th grade. Crew. (he/him/his)
CHARLIE Q. In 10th grade. Crew. (she/her/hers)
BLAKE In 11th grade. An outsider. Dating Jules. (he/him/his)

Place

That one place in the school where all the theatre kids hang out.

When

Now.

Notes

... a place where words become thoughts

-- an interruption. Sometimes-- often-- a character will interrupt themselves

Throughout the play, props, costumes, and left behind personal items should accumulate in the
room. By the last scene, the space should be filled with so much crap that it's almost
unrecognizable.

Each character can be played by an actor of any gender. Change referring pronouns as necessary.

“One must be serious about something if one wants to have any amusement in life.”
- Oscar Wilde, THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST
PROLOGUE

It’s dark.

One by one, students step forward for a moment

in the light.

RILEY
So, are we doing this all formal? Like,
Hi. I’m Riley, and I’ll be auditioning for the part of--

SAGE
Sage P. Cliffton, and I’m auditioning for--

EVAN
I mean, I’ll play anyone, really--

JULES
My name?
It’s Jules. You know that.
And I want to be--

CHARLIE Q.
I don’t even know why I’m here. Ha.

CHARLIE F.
I’m auditioning for--

SLOAN
Hello. I am Sloan Pacholec and today I’ll be auditioning for the role of--

GREER
When you say British accent, are you thinking RP? Because I can also do Cockney,
MLE, or even Yorkshire--

TANNER
Tanner here!

PEYTON
I am so, so grateful for this opportunity.

DREW
Sup.
So do we, like, read lines or something?
 2.

KAI
Auditioning? Oh, hell no.
I’m doing costumes. Obviously.

ASHTON
Can I try that again?
Sorry. I’m really nervous.

NICO
Uhhh...

MORGAN
Anything.
What do you need?

VICK approaches and assesses MORGAN.

...

VICK
Hm.

Darkness.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM CHARLIE F.

We’re not in this room, we’re in Charlie F.’s

mind.

He’s alone in there.

CHARLIE F.
This one time,
When I was about seven,
My dad gave me a quarter for one of those machines in the grocery store-- the kind with
the toys.
There was this one filled with little green aliens.
All in different poses. All in different outfits-- hats. Whatever.
One had sunglasses. He was doing a cool pose.
(Charlie F. does the cool pose)
I wanted that one. Real bad.
So I put my quarter in, and all of a sudden, whoosh!
All of the aliens-- and I mean all of them-- came pouring out.
 3.

Just-- everywhere-- spilling and spilling over my cupped hands and onto the floor.
Alien after alien after alien.
And at first I was in heaven.
Jackpot!
But, quickly, it’s like-- what am I going to do with all these little green aliens?
And everyone’s looking at me.
And I want to go home.
And I don’t--
I don’t like this at all.

End of interruption.

WEEK ONE

A Friday. After school.

We’re in that place where all the theatre kids

hang out.

Repurposed props and set pieces are stashed

around the room. Posters from old shows
probably hang on the walls. There is definitely a
well-worn couch that has seen a lot over the
years. Yeah, you don’t want to think about that
too much.

RILEY bursts into the room.

She looks around, making sure no one else is

there.

As soon as she is one hundred percent certain

she’s alone, she crumbles onto the couch and
quietly starts to sob.

BLAKE enters, carrying an athletic bag. He

seems out of place.

Upon seeing Blake, Riley immediately brightens

and subtly wipes tears from her eyes.

BLAKE
Oh. Sorry.
 4.

Blake starts to leave.

RILEY
What-- why?

BLAKE
You’re--?

RILEY
No. No. I’m fine.
Tired. Fine.
Really.

BLAKE
Cool.

RILEY
Uh huh.

Riley stands.

RILEY
You auditioned for the--?

BLAKE
What? No.
I’m waiting for--

RILEY
I was gonna say--

BLAKE
Anyway. It’s cool if I wait here?

RILEY
Yeah. Totally.

BLAKE
Good.

RILEY
Make yourself at home.
I was just leaving.
...
 5.

Just so you know-- before-- it might have looked like--

I wasn’t, like, upset, or anything.
If my eyes are kinda red, it’s pollen.
Scabiosa flowers.
They’re starting to bloom, and scabiosa pollen in particular makes me-- it’s bad.
I’m super happy with the part I got.
Even if it’s not a speaking role, or, you know, a part that’s actually in the play.
I’m so happy. I am so, so, happy to be a member of this terrific cast.
For the record.
It will be fun. So fun.
So if anyone asks--
Riley. Is. Stoked.

Blake, weirded out, nods.

Riley nods back, and quickly leaves.

Blake looks around the room. He is not in his

element.

He waits.

...

A particularly strange prop from a previous

show catches his attention.

He picks it up, and puzzles it for a moment

before putting it back.

He does not know what to make of any of this.

He takes a seat on the couch, and sets his bag

down.

He waits.

He takes out his phone and scrolls.

And waits.

After a while, MORGAN enters.

 6.

Upon seeing someone else is in the room,

Morgan immediately averts their eyes and
moves to leave.

BLAKE
Wait. Hey.

MORGAN
Hi.

BLAKE
Have you seen-- is Jules still out there?

MORGAN
Yes.

BLAKE
Oh.
Okay.
Started to think she forgot about me. Ha.

MORGAN
...

BLAKE
Do you know how long this takes? Usually?

MORGAN
This?

BLAKE
This-- list-- thing.

MORGAN
I mean--
About as long as it takes to look for your name on a list. I guess.

BLAKE
Right.
It seems to be taking longer than that.

MORGAN
There are a lot of congratulations going on. She got a huge part.
 7.

BLAKE
Oh! Good.
Good.

MORGAN
Yep.

BLAKE
She was nervous about it.

This amuses Morgan, who lets out a small

laugh.

BLAKE
What?

MORGAN
Nervous.
It’s Jules.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM JULES

We’re not in this room, we’re in Jules’ mind.

She’s alone in there.

JULES
I found this picture of my mom--
And I’m sure I’ve seen it before.
I had to of seen it before.
This picture of my mom. When she was my age.
But this time, when I looked at it--
I felt this--
It was like a pulsing, ugly, mass of electricity surging through my body.
I felt sick.
Shocked.
Charged.
Because I’m looking at this picture and all I see is-- me.
She looks just like me.
And I’m staring at it. At her face.
And all I can think is-- damn it.
I always wondered what I’d look like. At the finish line.
When I am the grown up I’ll become.
And now there’s no more mystery.
I’ll look just like her.
 8.

I want to will the molecules to stop changing. To stay still.

Maybe if I concentrate enough.
Maybe if I don’t lose focus-- maybe--
Maybe?

End of interruption.

BLAKE
Okay.

MORGAN
You’ve never been to one of our plays, have you?

BLAKE
Well. No.
Sorry.

MORGAN
It’s fine.

BLAKE
I’m usually--

Blake motions to the athletic bag.

MORGAN
I know.
Thing is, Jules getting a lead is nothing new.

BLAKE
Well.
Still.
I’m happy for her.

MORGAN
Yeah.
She’ll be great.

BLAKE
What about you?

MORGAN
Huh?

BLAKE
Did you--
 9.

MORGAN
Oh.
No.

BLAKE
Sorry.

MORGAN
It’s okay. I’m on props.
Which is fine.
For the best, really. I’d probably have a panic attack or something.

BLAKE
I get those.

MORGAN
Yeah?

BLAKE
Yep. Loads of fun.

MORGAN
Yeah.

BLAKE
Well, if it’s any consolation, this play sounds pretty...

MORGAN
...?

BLAKE
You know.

MORGAN
No.

BLAKE
I’m just saying--
It’s pretty stupid, right?

MORGAN
Stupid?

BLAKE
Jules was telling me all about it and I was like-- please stop.
I mean, not out loud. We’ve only been dating for--
 10.

I didn’t want to be rude. Because I like her.

Like, I genuinely think she’s really cool and interesting, which is so different from--
Anyway, she was telling me about this play and I was like, yikes.
Not out loud.
But, yikes.
You know?

MORGAN
No.

BLAKE
Like, this play’s not doing you guys any favors.

MORGAN
...

BLAKE
Reputation-wise.
...
I’m sorry. That sounded shitty.
I didn’t mean that.

MORGAN
What did you mean?

BLAKE
It’s just--
How many people come to your plays?

MORGAN
Depends.

BLAKE
But-- it’s not a lot.
Correct me if I’m wrong.

MORGAN
I don’t know.

BLAKE
I’m not trying to be offensive. I’m really not.
But, I don’t go to the plays.
No one I know goes to the plays.

MORGAN
...
 11.

BLAKE
I’m guessing it’s pretty much just parents. Maybe a few friends.
So, from a business standpoint-- a marketing standpoint--
Why don’t you guys ever do things that people-- like, normal people--
would actually want to see?

MORGAN
...

BLAKE
Yeah. I should close my mouth.

MORGAN
Yeah.

BLAKE
Sorry.

Morgan begins to leave, but pauses.

...

MORGAN
I don’t go to basketball games.

BLAKE
Okay.

MORGAN
Or soccer games. Or lacrosse.

BLAKE
That’s fine.

MORGAN
Or football. I have zero interest in football.

BLAKE
Yeah, but, the difference is--
Never mind.

MORGAN
What?
 12.

BLAKE
The difference is we pack the stadium.

MORGAN
...
Well.
Congratulations.

BLAKE
That’s not what I--

MORGAN
I happen to think this play is pretty great.

BLAKE
Okay.

MORGAN
It’s smart, it’s funny, it’s a scathing takedown of a society that’s obsessed with surfaces
and steeped in hypocrisy-- sound familiar?--
This play is a work of genius written lightyears ahead of its time.

BLAKE
I mean-- but is it?

MORGAN
Yes.
So don’t pass judgement on something you obviously know nothing about.

BLAKE
I know enough.

MORGAN
Yeah?
Then tell me. Tell me what you know about this play.

Blake gives Morgan an, Are you testing me?

look.

Morgan doesn’t relent.

Blake takes a deep breath and begins.

BLAKE
Um. Well.
It’s all very British--
 13.

Jules was talking in an accent like 24/7 before the auditions and it was-- yeah.
There are these two dudes who spend their time pretending that they’re other people, or
whatever.
And there’s a thing with a handbag that’s just-- weird.
And everyone wants to change their name to Ernest-- which, again, is weird.
And I guess there’s this snooty British aunt who says snooty British things--
Jules isn’t playing the aunt, is she?

MORGAN
No. She’s Gwendolyn Fairfax.

BLAKE
Good.
Phew.

MORGAN
Okay.

BLAKE
Anyway, that’s basically the play.
Oh, and someone marries their first cousin at the end and somehow everyone’s super cool
with that?
That’s about it.
How did I do?

MORGAN
I mean. Fine.

BLAKE
Told you.

MORGAN
But it’s about more than that.

BLAKE
Regardless.
I’m still going to see it. Of course.
I’ll be there to support Jules.

MORGAN
That’s good of you.

BLAKE
Yeah.
 14.

MORGAN
I think you’ll be surprised.
It’s a genuinely funny play.

BLAKE
If you say so.

JULES bursts through the door and rushes to

Blake.

JULES
Hey!

BLAKE
Oh, hey there Gwendolyn Fairfax!

JULES
Right!?
Who told you?

Blake realizes he doesn’t know Morgan’s name,

and sort of gestures in their direction.

MORGAN
Morgan.

BLAKE
Morgan.

JULES
Eee! I got the part!

BLAKE
I’m so happy for you.

JULES
It’s a lot of lines. You’re gonna have to help me learn them.

BLAKE
Oh.
Sure.

JULES
That’s life when you’re dating an actor!
Wow. I am so excited.
 15.

BLAKE
That’s great.

JULES
I was worried about this show at first, because it’s, you know, old.
But Vick knows what they’re doing.
I mean-- they cast it perfectly.
Like, perfectly.
Mostly.
It’s going to be great.
And Vick has a vision that’s just-- it’s so exciting.
I think it’s going to be really good.

BLAKE
Good.

JULES
Like, really good.

BLAKE
I’m looking forward to it.

Morgan kind of rolls their eyes and leaves the

room as TANNER enters with a flourish.

TANNER
Dream Team strikes again!

Jules runs up and hugs him.

JULES
We’re gonna kill it.

TANNER
Right?

JULES
Kill. It.

TANNER
I. Know.

JULES
You were born for this part.
 16.

TANNER
Right?

JULES
Eee!

TANNER
Eee!

JULES
I love you so much!

TANNER
I love you so much!

They embrace.

Blake looks a little uncomfortable.

TANNER
So...

Tanner looks around.

TANNER
(in a hushed voice)
Thoughts on Drew?

JULES
I know.

TANNER
He’s, like-- not good, right?

JULES
Vick has a thing for Drew. I told you.

TANNER
Ugh.
Must we all suffer?

JULES
He’ll be fine.

TANNER
Will he?
 17.

JULES
Ugh.
What about the Sloan girl?

TANNER
Right? Surprising.

JULES
I know.

TANNER
Where did she even come from?

JULES
I have no idea.

TANNER
Just appeared out of nowhere. Poof.

JULES
Transfers here, like, two weeks ago and, boom! Major part.

TANNER
She doesn’t suck, though.

JULES
You think?

TANNER
No.
Not at all.

JULES
If you say so.

TANNER
Not as much as Drew.
Drew straight-up sucks.

JULES
No ambiguity there.

TANNER
None whatsoever.
 18.

JULES
Ugh.

TANNER
Ugh.

JULES
Everyone else is pretty solid.

Tanner takes a moment to do a quick rundown

of the cast in his head and makes some
calculations.

TANNER
For the most part, yeah.
...
(in a low voice)
Riley.

JULES
Oh my god. Riley.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM RILEY

We’re not in this room, we’re in Riley’s mind.

She’s alone in there.

RILEY
Who did you play with at recess?
That’s what my parents would ask. When I was little. Elementary school.
Who did you play with?
It wasn’t, how was your day?
It wasn’t, what did you learn?
It wasn’t, what are you reading? What interests you?
Has the world in all its wonder started to open up before your eyes?
It was, who did you play with at recess?
Because they were worried.
Because my answer was always-- nobody.
Don’t get me wrong, I was okay with it. At the time.
Mostly okay.
I had my place-- under the big twisty slide-- and that felt like almost enough.
But their questions made me anxious.
 19.

Made me realize there might be something wrong. With me.

Hey kiddo, who’d you play with?
...
So, when this kid came up to me-- this kid with the brightest eyes you can imagine--
when they came up
and sat down
and talked to me like it was something we had always done.
That night I proudly answered, Vick.
Today I played with Vick.
And after that, I always had an answer.
We were inseparable.
Until we weren’t.
We were unstoppable.
Until it stopped.
And it feels like my fault, but I’m not the same.
I didn’t want high school to change me, but it did.
I’m not that kid under the big twisty slide.
Sitting alone.
I’m just not.

End of interruption.

Tanner abruptly returns to whisper mode.

TANNER
Can you believe it?

JULES
Under butler?

TANNER
It’s not even a thing. Vick made it up.

JULES
I feel so bad for her.

TANNER
Her sad little name hanging out on the bottom of the list.

JULES
Next to the words under butler.
 20.

TANNER
I think the font was even half a size smaller.
It’s kind of hilarious.

JULES
Why did she even audition?
It’s Vick.

TANNER
I know.

JULES
Vick’s a genius but--

TANNER
Spiteful.

TANNER
When McBurrough chose Vick to direct, Riley should have been all, yeah, no.

JULES
But it’s her last show.

TANNER
Still.

JULES
So sad.

TANNER
It would have been kinder to not cast her at all.

JULES
Vick’s not aiming for kind.
Not with Riley.

TANNER
Oh, I know.

JULES
Poor thing.

TANNER
Look at you.
 21.

JULES
What?

TANNER
Acting like you don’t kind of love it.

JULES
I don’t!

TANNER
She’s always been your competition.

JULES
I don’t see it that way.

TANNER
Bull.

JULES
I mean, she’s really good.

TANNER
Really. Good.

JULES
But I don’t see her as competition.
A rising tide lifts all boats.

TANNER
Keep telling yourself that.

BLAKE
I think she’s happy.
With her part.

Tanner notices Blake’s presence for the first

time.

TANNER
Huh?

BLAKE
Riley.
She said she was stoked to be in the play.
 22.

JULES
How would you know that?

BLAKE
She was here. Earlier.

JULES
Do you even know Riley?

BLAKE
Sort of.

JULES
She’s not stoked.

BLAKE
Okay.

JULES
Trust me.

TANNER
Not at all.

JULES
It’s okay, babe. You don’t do theatre.
But, yeah. Just so you know.
That’s not how things work here.

Darkness.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM TANNER.

We’re not in this room, we’re in Tanner’s mind.

He’s alone in there.

TANNER
So, this morning, I called Jules at 3:46am.
She answered, because she always takes my calls.
I take her calls too. It’s a two way street.
We’ve been really into analyzing our dreams. Since last year.
And this morning, at 3:46am, I woke up from the craziest dream--
I mean, it was nuts.
There was sex. There were alligators. There was Mr. Kupp on a gondola.
 23.

And for some reason-- in the dream-- I couldn’t stop crying?

So I called Jules right away.
And she answered, of course.
And I’m telling her about the dream--
and she’s like half-awake and not really listening,
because she has this thing where she thinks her dreams are more interesting than mine--
which they aren’t, but I don’t have the heart to tell her.
Anyway.
It’s nice of her to answer. And half listen.
But then-- all of a sudden, she starts to cry.
Like, really cry.
And she can’t stop. Just like my dream.
I ask her what’s wrong,
and she tells me that she realized, in this moment, that she will peak in high school.
This is it.
Right now.
The best part of her life.
And I’m quiet.
Because I don’t know what to say.
Because-- and this sounds horrible-- but there’s a part of me that knows she’s right.
I mean, she’ll be fine.
She’ll have a nice house, a cute family, a basic car, a job that’s not embarrassing.
She’ll be fine.
But not great.
And, I know this is horrible to say. Just horrible.
But I realized, in that moment, that I won’t. Peak in high school.
I’m going to pass her.
Like, really pass her.
This girl who answers the phone for me at 3:46am.
Will be left in the dust.
And that’s sad, right?
It’s kinda sad.

End of interruption.

WEEK TWO

The following Monday. After school.

GREER and SAGE are both sprawled on the

couch.
 24.

Greer is absorbed in her phone, and Sage is deep

into some super smart and topical book.

GREER
Sent you something.

SAGE
What?

GREER
On your phone.

SAGE
Okay.

GREER
Look at it.

SAGE
Later.

GREER
Now.

Sage sighs and picks up her phone.

She gets to the message and gives a small

reaction.

SAGE
Hm.

GREER
Funny, right?

SAGE
Yep.

Sage puts the phone down and picks up her

book.

Greer goes back to her phone.

...
 25.

GREER
Sent you something else.

SAGE
I’ll look at it later.

GREER
Come on.

SAGE
I don’t want to.

GREER
But it’s hilarious.
It’s exactly what we were talking about in Pre Calc. Look!

Greer faces the screen toward Sage, who refuses

to look up.

SAGE
Later.

GREER
Why?

SAGE
I’m trying to not be a slave to technology.

GREER
Oh god.

SAGE
What?

GREER
You sound like Ms. Jenkins.

SAGE
She’s not wrong.

GREER
Barf.
If you lose our streak I’ll kill you.

Sage ignores this and goes back to her book.

 26.

GREER
Your loss.

Greer goes back to her phone.

PEYTON enters.

PEYTON
Hi.

GREER
Hi.

PEYTON
So, um.
This is where we’re picking up the scripts, right?

GREER
Yep.

PEYTON
Oh.
Good.
...
Where are they?

SAGE
Not here yet.

GREER
They will be soon.

PEYTON
Okay.
I’m looking forward to this.
Yay!

GREER
You’re the reverend, right?

PEYTON
Yep!

Greer gives Sage a kick.

 27.

GREER
Sage.
It’s your love interest.

Peyton is suddenly very uncomfortable.

SAGE
Hey Peyton.

PEYTON
Hey.
...
You guys were both so good. In the audition.
I hope I can live up to your level of talent.

GREER
Aw.

PEYTON
Anyway.
I guess I’ll just--

Peyton finds somewhere to sit on the floor.

They realize it’s not the most comfortable place

to sit, but it’s too late to change course so they
commit to it.

They pull out their phone.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM PEYTON

We’re not in this room, we’re in Peyton’s mind.

They’re alone in there.

PEYTON
Each night before I go to bed I scream into my pillow.
For twenty-five minutes.
The worst things I can think of. The uglier the better.
Usually about myself.
But not always.
I set a timer and I scream.
I scream. For twenty-five minutes.
It’s the only way I can sleep.
 28.

End of interruption.

EVAN comes into the room and looks around.

Greer and Sage don’t acknowledge him.

Peyton, noticing that Evan is awkward and

alone, calls him over.

PEYTON
Evan! Over here.

Evan quickly joins Peyton.

EVAN
Hey.

PEYTON
You ready?

EVAN
I’m nervous.

Even retrieves some leftover snack crackers

from his lunch bag and starts to eat them.

PEYTON
I was watching Fraiser all weekend.
I think I’m going to do the Fraiser voice for the play.

EVAN
I don’t know it.

PEYTON
(Fraiser voice)
Like this.

EVAN
Ah.

PEYTON
(singing in the Fraiser voice)
Tossed salad and scrambled eggs.

EVAN
Ha.
That would be perfect.
 29.

GREER
No it wouldn’t.
That’s not a British accent.

EVAN
It sounds British.

GREER
Um.
Transatlantic and British are totally different.

PEYTON
I thought it would be kinda funny.

GREER
Wrong continent.
That’s all.

PEYTON
Oh.

EVAN
You should do it anyway.

PEYTON
I don’t know.

EVAN
It sounded great.
You’re really good at voices.

Peyton brightens.

PEYTON
(Fraiser voice)
Why, thank you.

EVAN
Ha. See?

GREER
Who even watches Fraiser?
 30.

SAGE
Does it matter?

GREER
Just saying.

Peyton hands one of their ear buds to Evan.

PEYTON
Here. Watch this.

Peyton and Evan watch the screen, one earbud

each. Evan continues to eat his crackers.

ASHTON, very nervous, enters without saying

anything and finds an out-of-the-way space to
be.

JULES and TANNER enter, holding Starbucks

cups.

The others perk up upon seeing them.

Greer stands.

JULES
No scripts yet?

GREER
Not yet.
Want the couch?

JULES
You sure?

GREER
Yeah. Of course.
Take it.

Greer shoots Sage a look, and Sage begins to

gather her things.

TANNER
Thanks.
 31.

GREER
Of course!

Jules and Tanner take the couch.

Greer and Sage find a place on the floor.

Once they’re settled, Greer goes back to her

phone and Sage goes back to her book.

Jules takes a sip of her coffee drink.

She holds it out to Tanner.

JULES GREER
Taste this. ...
Sent you something.

TANNER SAGE
(sips drink) No.
What?

JULES GREER
They put so much syrup in it today. Please?
It’s almost unbearable.

TANNER SAGE
You love it. Not right now.

JULES GREER
Wanna trade? ...
Fine.

TANNER SAGE
I don’t want your cup of type II diabetes. Sorry.

JULES GREER
Whatever. You swear it’s not about me?
What you get is way worse.
 32.

TANNER SAGE
In your dreams. Not everything’s about you.

JULES GREER
(sipping her drink) I know that.
It’s actually not that bad.

TANNER SAGE
My little hummingbird. Okay.

JULES GREER
You get used to it. Okay.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM SAGE.

We’re not in this room, we’re in Sage’s mind.

She’s alone in there.

SAGE
I am trying so hard to care.
The world is burning.
Literally burning.
And I’m trying so hard to care.
The water is rising.
It will drown us all.
And I’m trying so hard to care.
There are children in cages.
And I’m trying.
There are islands made of plastic.
And I’m trying.
There are hurricanes and floods and droughts.
I’m trying.
...
I changed my clothes three times before I left the house this morning.
And I hate myself.
I hate myself.
For always, always, slipping back into caring about the wrong thing.
I am trying so hard.
 33.

End of interruption.

Vick enters, followed by NICO, who carries a

box of scripts.

VICK
Scripts!

Nico sets the box down.

Peyton is the first to lunge for a script, followed

closely Evan.

PEYTON
Awesome. Thank you.

The others eventually follow.

One by one, they go to the box and find a copy

of the script with their name on it.

VICK
I trust you all brought your own highlighters.
Nico forgot to bring extras.

Nico looks annoyed.

Peyton looks a little panicked.

NICO
You didn’t ask me to.

VICK
I shouldn’t have to ask.

SAGE
I have a highlighter.

JULES
Me too.

TANNER
(to Jules)
Can I borrow yours when you’re done?

Nico starts to leave.

 34.

VICK
Where are you going?

NICO
I’m sure McBurrough has some in the office.

Nico leaves.

Those with highlighters get to highlighting their

lines.

By now, everyone but Ashton has retrieved their

script.

Ashton approaches the box, shyly, and finds her

copy.

Riley enters.

Everyone looks up at Riley.

...

RILEY
Hi.

VICK
Ah.
Welcome.

Riley approaches the box of scripts and looks

for hers.

Ashton summons the courage to speak.

ASHTON
Hi. I’m Ashton.
You were so good in Brigadoon.
I saw it when I was in seventh grade and it was the first time I was like, wow, I’m excited
to go to high school.

RILEY
Thank you. That’s sweet.
You’re playing--
 35.

ASHTON
Merriman.
The butler.

RILEY
Ah.

Riley looks over at Vick.

RILEY
Well.
That will be fun.

VICK
(to Ashton)
Riley here is going to be your under butler.

Ashton looks down, sort of embarrassed.

Riley forces a smile and looks for her script.

She can't find it.

She looks again.

Then once more.

RILEY
I think my script is missing.

VICK
Oh.
Yeah.
You don’t have one.

RILEY
Why not?

VICK
The under butler doesn’t have any lines.

RILEY
Sure, but I’ll need to write down my blocking.
 36.

VICK
You’ll just follow Ashton around.
Easy.
Right Ashton?

Ashton wants to be anywhere but here.

RILEY
...
Okay.

VICK
I hope you understand.
We’re trying to be environmentally conscious.
No more scripts than necessary.

Everyone in the room is listening to every word

of this exchange.

All eyes are on Riley.

...

RILEY
...
That’s awesome.
Very forward-thinking.

VICK
Thank you.
We try.

Riley turns to Ashton.

RILEY
So, Ashton. Is this your first play?

ASHTON
Here. Yeah.
I did one in middle school.
Mary Poppins.

RILEY
Oh. Cool.
 37.

ASHTON
I was a chimney sweep.

RILEY
Super fun.

ASHTON
Yeah.

RILEY
Well, congratulations. On this one.

ASHTON
...
You know, I was thinking-- you can have my lines if you want.

RILEY
What? No.

ASHTON
At least some of them.

VICK
Absolutely not.

ASHTON
I just--

Riley shoots Vick a glance.

RILEY
I am happy with my part just the way it is.

ASHTON
You sure?

RILEY
Absolutely.
We’ll be the highlight of the show.

VICK
... without upstaging anyone.
 38.

RILEY
Without upstaging anyone.

ASHTON
Okay.

RILEY
Great.
I look forward to working with you, Ashton.

Ashton sort of beams.

ASHTON
Likewise.

Nico enters with a bag of highlighters.

NICO
Found some.

Those who don’t have a highlighter descend on

Nico.

SLOAN enters, flustered.

SLOAN
I am so sorry.
Am I late?
I had to give my brother a ride, then come back--

VICK
You’re right on time.
Early.

Sloan looks around.

SLOAN
Oh. Okay.

VICK
Your script’s over there.

NICO
I’ll--
 39.

Nico grabs Sloan’s script from the box and

hands it to her, along with a highlighter.

SLOAN
Thank you.

NICO
Of course.

Jules walks up to Sloan and holds her hand out

in an exaggerated, super formal Victorian lady
way.

JULES
(British accent)
Something tells me that we are going to be great friends. I like you already more than I
can say. My first impressions of people are never wrong.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM VICK

We’re not in this room, we’re in Vick’s mind.

They’re alone in there.

VICK
I have this thing I do I wish I didn’t.
Where I skip to the end.
Like-- I can’t have pets.
I can’t.
Cuz they will die.
And I will hurt.
And I can’t--
I can’t imagine.
And like-- I’m scared to care.
I’m scared.
Cuz love will die.
And I will hurt.
And I can’t--
I can’t imagine.
So I’m careful. Really careful.
But even if you’re careful...

End of interruption.
 40.

SLOAN
Ha.
Don’t tell me you’re already off book.

JULES
Ha. No.
Not entirely.
Welcome!

SLOAN
Thanks.

JULES
I’m so looking forward to working with you.
You slayed that audition.

SLOAN
Nah.

JULES
Yes, you did.
I knew you’d get the part the second you opened your mouth.

SLOAN
Well, thank you.
I was nervous.

JULES
Of course you were.
It’s gotta be hard stepping in when you’re new.

SLOAN
Yeah.

JULES
Super brave.

SLOAN
Not really.

JULES
Did you do a lot of plays at your old school?
 41.

SLOAN
Yeah.
It was really different, though.
So, you know. Learning experience.

JULES
Different how?

SLOAN
Well, it was a private school, so-- money.
Our program had some.

Tanner chimes in.

TANNER
Lucky.

SLOAN
Yeah.

TANNER
Did you wear uniforms?

SLOAN
Mm hm.

TANNER
Were they cute?

SLOAN
They were alright.

TANNER
I always thought I’d look great in a school uniform.

JULES
Why did you transfer?

SLOAN
It’s complicated.

Sage pipes up.

SAGE
Her mom’s planning a run for congress.
 42.

SLOAN
How do you--

SAGE
I keep up with things.
Your name’s Sloan Pacholec, right?

SLOAN
Yeah.

SAGE
So your mom is Wendy Pacholec.

SLOAN
... yeah.

SAGE
There you go.

JULES
What does that have to do with her transferring?

SAGE
It’s hard to make the case that you’re there to help working class people when you send
your kids to super expensive private schools.

SLOAN
...
Yeah.

SAGE
Yeah.
Could you let your mom know-- from me-- that it’s pretty disingenuous and anyone with
half a brain can see right through her efforts at manipulation?

GREER
(to Sage)
Woah. Calm down.

SAGE
And that she has some really problematic views when it comes to climate crisis.

SLOAN
...
Sure.
 43.

PEYTON
I think it’s pretty cool! Your mom’s kinda famous!

SLOAN
It’s not.

TANNER
So you’re rich?

SLOAN
Not really.

SAGE
She’s super rich.

GREER
Dude.
Stop.

SAGE
Just saying.

TANNER
For real?

SLOAN
I’m not my mom.
...
I’m sorry you disagree with her.
I do too, actually.
About a lot of things.
But I’m just a student. Like you. Who wants to be in a play.
So.
Yeah.
I’m going to go highlight my script now.

Sloan gets as far away from everyone else as

she can and begins to quietly highlight her
script.

Vick, who has been watching the whole time

(and probably delighting in the drama a little too
much), stands.
 44.

VICK
Well, that was fun!
So.
Anyone see Drew?

Evan’s hand shoots up.

EVAN
I saw him in math.

VICK
After school.

EVAN
Oh.
No.

VICK
Okay then.
Nico, can you call him?

NICO
I don’t have Drew’s number.

VICK
It’s on his audition form.

NICO
Where is that?

VICK
Jesus.
I’ll call him myself.

Vick grabs their phone and steps outside to call

Drew.

Everyone else settles into quietly highlighting

their scripts.

JULES
My highlighter is almost out of ink.
 45.

TANNER
You’re just saying that to brag about your line count.

Jules gives Tanner a wink.

Tanner holds his script up to show her all the

highlighter marks in it, and sticks his tongue
out.

Riley, having nothing to highlight, is feeling

real awkward. Eventually she starts looking at
her phone.

DREW comes into the room

Everyone looks up at him.

DREW
Hey.
I forgot.
Whoops.
Heh.
What am I supposed to--

NICO
Great!
Everyone’s here?

Nico looks around and quickly counts them.

NICO
Everyone’s here.
I’ll get Vick.

Vick walks into the room.

NICO
They’re all here.

VICK
Excellent!
Circle around.

Everyone gathers around Vick.

 46.

There is an indulgent silence as Vick studies the

cast.

...

Vick takes a deep breath and smiles.

VICK
Welcome.
Welcome.
Look at this beautiful, beautiful collection of humans.
Wow.
What a cast.
What.
A.
Cast.
...
I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a
human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being.
You know who said that?
Our playwright, Oscar Wilde.
The sense of what it is to be a human being.
Think about that.
Breathe it in.
All together now. Breathe.

With varying levels of commitment, they

breathe.

VICK
Wonderful.
So, let’s introduce ourselves.
I’ll start.
I’m Vick.
I’ll be your director.

TANNER
Tanner. I’m playing Algernon.

DREW
Uh. Drew. Guess I’m playing Jack. John? Ernest?
Dude has like eight names.

JULES
Jules. I’m Gwendolyn Fairfax.
 47.

SLOAN
Sloan. Playing Cecily.

GREER
Greer. Lady Bracknell.

SAGE
Sage. I’m playing Miss Prism.

PEYTON
I’m Peyton and I am so excited to be here!

VICK
And you’re playing?

PEYTON
Reverend Canon Chasuble.
Sorry.

EVAN
I’m Evan. I’m gonna be Lane.

ASHTON
Um. I’m Ashton. Playing Merriman.

Everyone looks at Riley.

RILEY
Hi. I’m Riley. The under butler.

VICK
Great!
Beautiful.

NICO
What about me?

VICK
This is Nico. Our stage manager.

NICO
I’m Nico. The stage manager.

VICK
Well, that’s done.
Now we work.
 48.

Lights.

Transition.

WEEK THREE

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM KAI

We’re not in this room, we’re in Kai’s mind.

They’re alone in there.

KAI
My family prays.
Like, they’re into it.
Super religious. You know, super.
I never was, though. I never had that thing.
So when they prayed-- when they lost themselves in that intensity-- I always felt left out.
And broken.
Like there was something deeply wrong with me.
So I learned to fake it.
I’d concentrate on solving puzzles in my mind.
So I would look focused. Intense.
Like the rest of them.
I started with things like-- you know-- the alphabet backwards.
Square roots, the digits of pi.
Whatever.
Then, randomly, I found myself thinking about clothes.
About the patterns.
If I cut apart the shirt I’m wearing at the seams, what shapes would I be I left with?
How would they fit together?
And could I make them into something new?
Again and again, I’d lose myself in thoughts of clothes.
Deconstructing, creating my own.
Each pattern more intricate than the last.
That’s what I’d focus on.
Every time.
I lost myself. In that intensity.
Pretending to pray.
Pretending to connect with something higher.
Then I realized, that in my way, I had.

End of interruption.
 49.

The following week. After school.

A tech meeting.

Morgan is setting up a plastic folding table for

props, and putting things on it.

KAI stands with a dress form, draping some

very colorful fabric around it. There might be a
fake flower or five somewhere in the mix. It’s a
lot.

CHARLIE Q. is asleep on the couch.

CHARLIE F. is carrying his laptop and charger

around looking for an outlet.

CHARLIE F.
This piece of crap dies like every 20 minutes.

KAI
Grab another one.

CHARLIE F.
There’s not another one. Not a pro.

Kai shrugs and goes back to draping.

Charlie F. finds a suitable outlet, plugs in the

charger, and starts typing furiously.

KAI
Charlie.

CHARLIE F.
Huh?

KAI
Other Charlie.
...
Other. Charlie.

Kai walks over with a swatch of fabric and

gives the couch a kick.
 50.

CHARLIE Q.
Mm.

KAI
I need your face.

CHARLIE Q.
Why?

KAI
You have the right complexion.

Kai holds the fabric swatch up to Charlie Q.’s

very unamused face.

KAI
Just as I thought.
Dreamy.

CHARLIE Q.
You done now?

Charlie Q. lies back down.

KAI
Thank you, darling.

Kai returns to the dress form.

KAI
(sing-songy)
Perfection, perfection!

Kai happily works on their project.

Charlie F. pounds on a computer key repeatedly.

CHARLIE F.
Damn it.
Come on.
...
Cool. Now it’s frozen.

Charlie restarts the computer.

 51.

KAI
I need to measure Greer’s head.
Remind me to measure Greer’s head.

CHARLIE Q.
Who are you even talking to?

MORGAN
I’ll remind you.

KAI
I’m gonna make her a big ass hat.
A big ass hat.

CHARLIE F.
Why a big hat?

KAI
A big ass hat.
And because I can.

CHARLIE F.
It should be green.

KAI
Why?

CHARLIE F.
Greer looks great in green.

CHARLIE Q.
OoooOoooo.

CHARLIE F.
What?
No.
Not like that.
Just, coloration-wise.

CHARLIE Q.
Uh huh.

KAI
He’s not wrong.
 52.

CHARLIE F.
I know I’m not!
I’m just saying-- from a lighting perspective-- green is a good--
I don’t like Greer.

CHARLIE Q.
Now that’s just mean.

CHARLIE F.
I don’t dislike Greer, I just--

CHARLIE Q.
Uh huh.

CHARLIE F.
Stop! I only meant--

MORGAN
(loudly)
HEY.

Everyone looks over at Morgan.

MORGAN
I-- uh-- need more tea cups.
Does anyone know where I can find more tea cups?

KAI
There are literally thousands of them in the prop room.
You don’t know that?

MORGAN
Thanks.
I’ll go check.

Morgan leaves.

Charlie F. repeatedly presses a key on the

computer again.

CHARLIE F.
Ugh. I hate it I hate it.

Charlie F. restarts the computer.

 53.

Nico enters and sees the dress form Kai is

working on.

NICO
No.

KAI
What?

NICO
What are you doing?

KAI
Being a genius.

NICO
Well, stop.
Vick will be pissed.
When Vick is pissed, they blame me.

KAI
Doesn’t sound like my problem.

NICO
The aesthetic is minimalist.
Vick specifically said no flounce.

KAI
This isn’t flounce.
You don’t know flounce.

NICO
Whatever it is: no.

KAI
Vick’s dumbass minimalist vision is boring as hell.
This is better.

Kai drapes another piece of fabric, dramatically.

NICO
Whatever. This isn’t my--

An alarm on Nico’s phone chimes.

 54.

NICO
I need to get back there.
Were’s Morgan?

KAI
In search of tea cups.

NICO
Fine.

Nico plops down on a chair.

KAI
You seem extra cheery.

NICO
Why did McBurrough choose Vick to direct?

KAI
McBurrough didn’t choose Vick.
Vick has been angling for this since freshman year.

NICO
Why couldn’t someone swoop in and save us?

Morgan enters, arms loaded with tea cups and

some other props.

Seeing Morgan, Nico stands.

NICO
(to Morgan)
Hey-- they’re doing the muffin scene. Do you have anything we can use for rehearsal
muffins?

MORGAN
Rehearsal muffins?

NICO
I’m supposed to ask you about rehearsal muffins.

MORGAN
Um--
 55.

Morgan sets the props down on the table and

looks around.

Unable to find a suitable muffin substitute,

Morgan balls up a sheet of paper.

MORGAN
I mean, this is about the size of a muffin.

NICO
You can’t eat that.

MORGAN
They need to be edible? Aren’t you guys just blocking?

NICO
Yes, but Vick says we need actual muffins.
Now.

MORGAN
I- I didn’t know.

CHARLIE F.
I have a Nutri Grain bar in my backpack.

MORGAN
You shouldn’t have to--

CHARLIE F.
It’s apple cinnamon. I hate apple cinnamon.

Charlie F. retrieves the Nutri Grain bar from his

backpack and holds it up in the air.

MORGAN
Will that work? For today?

NICO
I guess it will have to.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM NICO

We’re not in this room, we’re in Nico’s mind.

 56.

She’s alone in there.

NICO
I’m always the one with the extra pencil.
I always have a sheet of paper.
I’ve got you covered.
Yes, sure, you can copy my notes.
Thanks.
I’m glad you like my handwriting.
It’s nothing special, but it’s legible as hell.
You know what I wish? That these people recognized that the ability to keep a calendar
this organized is an actual talent.
I’d like to them try it.

End of interruption.

Nico grabs the Nutri Grain bar and leaves.

MORGAN
I’m sorry. I didn’t know.

CHARLIE Q.
One week in and this play is already a shitshow.

Blake enters the room.

He gives Morgan a nod, then leans against

something and nonchalantly scrolls through his
phone

Everyone stares at him.

He looks up.

BLAKE
What?

KAI
We’re using this space.

BLAKE
Oh-- I thought it was just sort of-- open.
 57.

KAI
Sorry.
We’re working here.

CHARLIE F.
Designers and crew only.

BLAKE
Oh.
...
Do you know what time rehearsal’s over today?

KAI
No idea. Vick’s all over the map.

BLAKE
Oh.
Huh.
Okay.

Blake leaves.

KAI
Byeee!

MORGAN
You didn’t have to kick him out.

CHARLIE Q.
True.
Not like there’s anything important going on.

CHARLIE F.
Just because you’re not being a useful engine...

CHARLIE Q.
Useful engine--?

CHARLIE F.
A productive member of the team--

CHARLIE Q.
Useful engine?
 58.

CHARLIE F.
Whatever.
I’m just saying that some of us are trying to work.

KAI
Preach.

CHARLIE Q.
Choo choo.

KAI
Was he looking for Jules?
I thought that was done.

MORGAN
Why?

KAI
There was quite the tiff outside Mr. Yoast’s class.

MORGAN
That sucks.

CHARLIE Q.
Mr. Yoast brings out the worst in us all.

KAI
Why?

CHARLIE Q.
Probably the sideburns...

KAI
No, why does Morgan think that sucks?

MORGAN
I don’t know.
He seemed alright. That’s all.

KAI
He seemed braindead.

MORGAN
Okay.
 59.

KAI
Which-- come to think of it-- makes them a perfect match.
Did I say that out loud? And I oop.

CHARLIE Q.
Sksksksks.

CHARLIE F.
Ugh.
Stop.

CHARLIE Q.
Sksksks.

Blake comes back into the room.

Morgan is the only one who seems concerned

about how much Blake might have overheard.

BLAKE
Um.
Think you could let Jules know I came by? When you see her?

Vick bursts into the room, pushing past Blake.

Nico, Sloan, Tanner, Aston, Riley, Peyton,

Greer, and Sage follow closely behind.

Jules is there too, but she sort of lingers in the

doorway when she sees Blake in the room.

VICK
Change of plans!
The band degenerates have kicked us out, so we’re working in here.

KAI
What about us?

VICK
Stay out of the way.
 60.

BLAKE VICK
(to Jules) (seeing Kai’s creation)
Hey. What am I looking at?

JULES KAI
Why are you here? Love it?

BLAKE VICK
I don’t like where we left things. I do not have time for this.
Do not have time.

JULES KAI
I don’t have time for this. I’ll take that as a keep going...
I am at rehearsal.

BLAKE VICK
I know. I can wait. Nico.
Deal with this.

JULES NICO
Don’t bother. Ugh.

BLAKE VICK
Please? ...
Alright-- where is Drew?

VICK
(loudly)
Where the fuck is Drew?
We keep losing Drew.
(to Nico)
Get Drew.

Nico leaves.

BLAKE
I’m going to stick around. Out of the way.
Okay?
 61.

JULES
Fine.

Blake gets as far out of the way as possible.

VICK
Okay. Moving on.
Since Drew is nowhere to be found, let’s work on Cecily and Gwendolyn.
I need Jules.
I need Sloan.
I need Ashton.
I need Riley.

Jules, Sloan, Ashton, and Riley begin to

assemble.

JULES
Where do you want us to be?

VICK
Just find a place and make it work.
Everyone, make room. Make room!

KAI
Where are we supposed to go?

VICK
Right now our focus is on rehearsing the play.

KAI
Sure, but I need space to work.
We all do.

VICK
Sorry.
Alright, people. Act II.
Algernon has just left...

TANNER
Oo! Can I say my line?
I’ll be back in no time!

Tanner runs up and gives Sloan a quick air-kiss

on the cheek, and dashes away.
 62.

VICK
Yeah. Okay.
So, Algernon leaves and Cecily says...

Sloan flips through her script.

SLOAN
Um... hold on.
Oh.
What an impetuous boy he is! I like his hair so much. I must enter his proposal in my
diary.
Where will my diary be?

VICK
You need a diary.
(calling out in Morgan’s direction)
Props! Cecily needs a diary!

MORGAN
Um.

Morgan digs around the prop table she’s been

setting up.

VICK
We do not have all day, Props.

Morgan brings Vick a notebook.

MORGAN
Sorry.
Here.

Vick grabs the notebook from Morgan.

VICK
This?

MORGAN
For rehearsals.
I’ll have something better for the show.

VICK
Ugh. Fine.
 63.

Vick hands the notebook to Sloan.

VICK
Okay.
Here’s your diary.

SLOAN
So, will I have it on me or will it be on the table?

VICK
Let’s say table.

SLOAN
And the table is...

VICK
Nico! We need a damn table!

Nico looks for something to use as a table.

Blake happens to be standing next to something

of table-ish height.

BLAKE
Would this work?

VICK
Oh, look. The only competent person here isn’t even on my crew.
Can you put that here?

Blake sets the table-ish thing down.

He gives Jules a smile as he backs away.

Sloan puts the diary on the table.

VICK
Perfect. Go.

SLOAN
Uh.
I must enter his proposal in my diary.
 64.

Sloan goes over to the table to write something

in the notebook.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM SLOAN

We’re not in this room, we’re in Sloan’s mind.

She’s alone in there.

SLOAN
There’s this picture of my grandpa form the 1970s. It’s Thanksgiving, and he’s at the
head of this long table that seems to go on and on-- and he’s standing there, wearing this
lime green suit, and he’s smiling at my mom who is little, and all dressed up, and
beaming right back at him.
It’s just a Polaroid.
And it’s super faded.
But it’s framed -- like in a giant fancy frame-- right in the entryway of our house.
And ever since I was little my mother has pointed to that picture and said,
That right there is the one time your grandfather ever smiled at me.
I feel like everything my mom does is an attempt to earn that moment affection again.
Even though he’s gone.
And it makes me-- it makes me so sad.
Because all I want is for her to smile at me.

End of interruption.

Nico brings two chairs over and sets them at the

table.

Sloan sits in one of them.

VICK
And now, Merriman and the under butler will enter from over there.

RILEY
I thought the house was that way.

VICK
You’ll enter from over there.

RILEY
Okay...
 65.

Ashton nods eagerly and hops to where Vick

wants her to be.

Riley joins her, though less enthusiastically.

They enter the scene, Riley about a foot behind

Ashton.

VICK
Let’s try that again without attitude.

Riley bites her tongue.

They enter the scene again.

VICK
Again.

They go back, and enter the scene again.

VICK
Ugh. Again.

Riley is trying really hard to hold in her fury.

Ashton is a little panicked.

ASHTON
Am I--

VICK
You’re great.
Riley, some semblance of inner life? Please?

They enter again.

Riley attempts to display some semblance of

inner life.

Vick gives a disappointed sigh.

...

Ashton clears her throat and says her line.

 66.

ASHTON
A Miss Fairfax has just called to see Mr. Worthing. On very important business, Miss
Fairfax states.

SLOAN
Isn’t Mr. Worthing in his library?

ASHTON
Mr. Worthing went over in the direction of the Rectory some time ago.

VICK
I’m sorry, I’m going to have to stop you here.
Riley, what are you doing?

RILEY
Standing.

VICK
You’re shlumping.

RILEY
Shlumping?

VICK
This is a respectable house and you are the under butler. There would be no shlumping.

Riley straightens up.

VICK
More.

Riley straightens up even more.

VICK
How is it that you can’t--
Is it a medical condition?

RILEY
I--
I’ll work on it.

VICK
Good.
Okay. Keep going.
 67.

Let’s start with the end of Merriman’s line.

You’re doing great, by the way.

ASHTON
Thank you!
Um.
... the direction of the Rectory some time ago.

SLOAN
Pray ask the lady to come out here; Mr. Worthing is sure to be back soon. And you can
bring tea?

ASHTON
Yes, Miss.

Ashton exits the scene and Riley trails behind.

VICK
That exit was amateur hour.
Not your fault, Ashton!

ASHTON
Uh.

Riley takes a deep breath and returns to where

she was before the exit.

Ashton joins her.

ASHTON
Yes, Miss.

They exit the scene.

VICK
It will have to do for now.
Go on.

SLOAN
Miss Fairfax! I suppose one of the many good elderly women who are associated with
Uncle Jack in some of his philanthropic work in London. I don’t quite like women who
are interested in Philanthropic work. I think it is so forward of them.
 68.

ASHTON
Do I--

VICK
Merriman enters!

Ashton enters the scene

VICK
Where’s my under butler?

Riley follows Ashton.

ASHTON
Miss Fairfax.

VICK
Can the under butler carry a tray?
I think it would be good to have the under butler carry a tray.

Morgan grabs a tray and brings it to Riley.

RILEY
Thank you.

MORGAN
Do you want anything on it?

Vick studies Riley and the tray.

VICK
I don’t know.
Oh!
Maybe a vase. With flowers.

MORGAN
Um.

Morgan rummages around until they find a vase

with fake flower in it.

MORGAN
Will this work for now?

VICK
Let’s see.
 69.

Morgan puts the vase on the tray. The flower

sort of covers Riley’s face.

VICK
For now.
I’d love some taller flowers for the actual show, though. Fuller.

MORGAN
Um.
Sure.

VICK
Great. Perfect.

RILEY
So, quick question--

VICK
Yes?

RILEY
What am I doing with the flowers?

VICK
You are carrying them. On a tray.

RILEY
Right, but am I bringing them somewhere?
To the table, maybe?

VICK
They’re just decoration.
Mobile decoration.

RILEY
...
Okay. But.

VICK
You said quick question.
We have a lot of work to do.

RILEY
Okay.
Yes.
Thank you.
 70.

VICK
Let’s try that entrance again.

Ashton and Riley go back to their places and

enter once more.

Riley carries the tray with the vase on it.

ASHTON
Miss Fairfax.

Ashton and Riley turn to exit as Jules starts to

enter the scene.

VICK
Can we do that again?
I’d like to see a sharper turn.

Ashton and Riley go back to their places.

VICK
From your line, Merriman.

ASHTON
Miss Fairfax.

VICK
Now-- sharp turn!

They both turn sharply.

The vase falls from Riley’s tray.

Vick throws their hands in the air.

VICK
Are you serious?

Riley picks up the vase from the floor.

VICK
Try to be a little more careful.
You’re lucky it didn’t break.

RILEY
It’s plastic.
 71.

VICK
You’re lucky.
Note to props: whatever vase we end up using has got to be indestructible.
Let’s try it again.

Ashton and Riley go back to their places.

They enter.

ASHTON
Miss Fairfax.

They do a sharp turn and exit.

VICK
Nicely done, Ashton!

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM ASHTON

We’re not in this room, we’re in Ashton’s mind.

She’s alone in there.

ASHTON
I kinda feel like I’m invisible most of the time.
And I kinda like it that way.
...
Doing this play was a mistake.

End of interruption.

Back at rehearsal, Jules enters the scene with a

flourish.

Sloan approaches her.

SLOAN
Pray let me introduce myself to you. My name is Cecily Cardew.

JULES
Cecily Cardew? What a very sweet name!

Jules moves to shake Sloan’s hand.

 72.

JULES
Something tells me--

Drew enters.

DREW
Hey.

VICK
Drew!

DREW
Sorry.
Got lost.

GREER
Lost?

VICK
It’s okay. Happens to the best of us.

KAI
No it doesn’t.

JULES
Do we continue with the scene?

Vick claps their hands together loudly to get

everyone’s attention.

VICK
Alright! Drew’s here! Let’s get back to the scene we were blocking before. Muffins!
I need my Algernon. I need my Jack.

Jules and Sloan leave their scene, maybe a little

frustrated.

Tanner quickly gets into his place.

Drew takes a little more time.

Blake approaches Jules.

BLAKE
Hey. You were really good.
 73.

JULES
I said like two words.

BLAKE
It was still good.
Can we talk?

JULES
No. Rehearsal.

BLAKE
Okay. I just--
I don’t want you to be mad at me.

JULES
You should probably go.

BLAKE
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.

Blake leaves.

VICK
Let’s take it from where we left off. Jack’s line.
Nico, give us a prompt.

NICO
(reading)
How can you sit there--

...

VICK
Jack’s line.
That’s you, Drew.

Drew is flipping through his script.

DREW
Yeah. I know-- hold on.
What was it?

NICO
How can you sit there eating--
 74.

DREW
Right. Yeah.
I got it.

Everyone waits while Drew finds the page.

...

DREW
Okay.
(reading flatly)
How you can sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t
make out. You seem to me to be perfectly heartless.

TANNER
Should I be eating muffins?

VICK
Props!

Nico holds up the Nutri Grain bar

NICO
This is what I got from props.

VICK
What the hell is that?

MORGAN
I didn’t know you needed something edible.

VICK
Muffins are edible.

MORGAN
I know, but--

Nico works on breaking the Nutri Grain bar up

into small pieces to sub as muffins.

NICO
We can make this work.

She places the bar pieces in front of Tanner,

who gamely picks one up.
 75.

TANNER
Well, I can’t eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my
cuffs. One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them.

DREW
I say it’s perfectly heartless of you to be eating muffins at all, under the circumstances.
So, is it okay if I ask a question?

VICK
Of course!
Ask away.

DREW
I don’t get it.

TANNER
What don’t you get?

DREW
Why are we angry about muffins?

VICK
That’s an excellent question.

TANNER
Is it?

VICK
You’re not angry about muffins.
You get that, right?

DREW
Right.

He doesn’t.

VICK
In this scene, your character, Jack, is feeling betrayed.
Algernon-- who Jack trusted, who Jack confided in, who Jack considered a dear friend,
Has betrayed his trust.
And in doing so, he has completely thrown Jack’s life off balance.
He has completely messed with all of Jack’s future plans.
In one flippant, excruciatingly selfish move, Jack’s whole world has been destroyed.

Vick looks at Riley, whose eyes are fixed on the

floor.
 76.

VICK
It’s not at all about muffins.

Riley meets Vick’s eyes.

RILEY
You know what? I said it had nothing to do with you. That things just change.
That people just change.
But the truth? The truth is, I got sick of it.
I got sick of navigating your moods, I got sick of making excuses for you.
Here’s a newsflash:
This constant shit-- it’s not charming.
It doesn’t make you seem edgy and talented.
It makes you look like a delusional child.
I’m done.
I am so done.

Riley Storms out of the room.

WEEK FOUR

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM DREW

We’re not in this room, we’re in Drew’s mind.

He’s alone in there.

DREW
Okay. So. I know you don’t think I’m supposed to be here.
That’s fine.
Me too. Kinda. Ha.
But-- you know-- the thing is-- no one’s forcing me to do this.
My parents have this recording of me. Like, a camera recording. Before phones did
video. The quality’s all--
Anyway.
There’s this recording. And I’m like, two.
In diapers. Which is-- yeah.
So, I’m two, and I’m running around our living room--
The living room of the house we lived in then. The small one. The one we lived in when--
Anyway, my sister--
Amy.
Amy had a toy microphone.
 77.

It was like pink and purple and had one of the Disney princesses on it.
The pink and purple one.
Is that all of them?
Anyway. My sister.
Amy.
Had this toy microphone.
And I-- uh-- I remember that microphone because I remember always being sorta
disappointed with it.
Because it didn’t work like a microphone. It didn’t project or amplify sound. It just--
echoed.
So, like, instead of making you voice more clear, it would sort of garble it.
Yeah. What’s the point?
Anyway, there’s this video of me dancing and singing into that stupid pink and purple
microphone.
My two year old self. In-- yeah-- diapers. Just--
Having the time of my life.
And you can hear my parents laughing.
So I go and go.
And you can hear my dad. You can hear my dad say,
Oh shit. We’ve got an actor.
But there’s a smile in his voice, you know.
Oh shit. We’ve got an actor.
And my mom laughs.
You can’t see them. In the video. But you just tell-- you can so clearly tell--
That they look really, really happy.
And then-- and then--
Amy.
Amy runs up and starts to dance with me.
She takes my hands-- her little brother’s hands--
And we begin to dance right before the recording stops.
We dance.
And we’re all there.
And we’re all so happy.
So-- uh-- that’s sort of why I’m here.
Cuz I miss that.
I miss it so much.
I miss her. And I miss us. And I that feeling of-- happy.
Like that.
So, you know, I thought I’d try this.
Cuz when Vick said they were looking for someone like me, I thought-- yeah-- I always
wanted to try that.
Cuz last time I did, we were happy.
 78.

Oh shit. We’ve got an actor.

I just want to be happy.

End of interruption.

Lights.

Sage is on her phone.

Charlie Q. is laying on the floor.

She has a stack of post-it notes that she’s

folding, one by one, into tiny paper airplanes,
which she sails at a target in the room.

She’s apparently been at this a while. It’s

making a mess.

...

CHARLIE Q.
Nice.
(to Sage)
That one soared like a damn angel.

Sage ignores her.

Charlie Q. folds another airplane and flies it.

She’s not as impressed that one.

CHARLIE Q.
Hm.

Charlie Q. begins to fold another airplane.

SAGE
That’s annoying, you know.

CHARLIE Q.
Yeah?

Charlie Q. flies the airplane. Maybe toward

Sage.

Sage sighs and begins to gather her things.

 79.

CHARLIE Q.
Hey.
Think we’re going to make it to opening night?

SAGE
Yeah. Why?

CHARLIE Q.
Beaucoup de discord.

SAGE
It’ll be fine.
Not like we needed an under butler.

Charlie Q. studies Sage.

CHARLIE Q.
Did you know I can read minds?

SAGE
No.

CHARLIE Q.
I’m a mentalist.

SAGE
Sure.

Charlie Q. smiles.

CHARLIE Q.
You don’t believe me.
Know how I know that?

SAGE
Because you can read minds.

CHARLIE Q.
Because I can read minds.

SAGE
That’s not a thing.

CHARLIE Q.
Yeah?
Hold still.
 80.

Charlie Q. stands, stares directly into Sage’s

eyes, and slowly walks towards her.

Sage backs away.

SAGE
What the--?

CHARLIE Q.
Shh.

Without breaking eye contact, Charlie Q.

reaches out and puts her hands on either side of
Sage’s head.

SAGE
Excuse me.

CHARLIE Q.
You have the loudest thoughts of anyone I’ve ever met.

Sage steps away.

SAGE
Okay.
I’m going.

CHARLIE Q.
Don’t you want to know what I just learned about you?

SAGE
Not really.

CHARLIE Q.
You’re driven by fear.
The fear that someone will find out that you’re a fake.

SAGE
A fake?

CHARLIE Q.
Yeah.
The fear that you don’t know as much as you think others think you know.
The fear that you don’t care as much as you think others think you care.
And that, for a vegan, you’re awfully fond of chalupa supremes.
 81.

SAGE
I don’t even know what a chalupa supreme is.

CHARLIE Q.
Yeah you do.
But you’re not a fake. You’re just a human.

SAGE
I--

Sage doesn’t know what to say.

...

Evan comes into the room.

He looks around.

SAGE
Who are you looking for?

EVAN
Have you seen Peyton?

SAGE
Nope.

EVAN
We were going to run lines.

CHARLIE Q.
Watch this.

Charlie soars a paper airplane.

Evan watches.

CHARLIE Q.
Impressed?

Evan nods.

Charlie Q. laughs.
 82.

EVAN
What?

CHARLIE Q.
You’re funny.
(to Sage)
I can read his mind too.

EVAN
What?

CHARLIE Q.
Hold still.

Evan holds still.

Sage rolls her eyes.

Charlie Q. gives Evan a penetrating stare and

places her hands on either side of his head.

...

CHARLIE Q.
You’re worried.

SAGE
Anyone can see that.

CHARLIE Q.
You’re worried that the show will be bad.

Evan is impressed with this guess.

SAGE
We all are.

CHARLIE Q.
And...
You’re worried that no one in your family is going to come see it.

This guess startles Evan.

EVAN
How--
 83.

Charlie Q. removes her hands.

Shaken, Evan leaves the room.

Charlie Q. turns to Sage.

CHARLIE Q.
Told you.

SAGE
That’s not reading minds.
That’s having a basic understanding of Evan Wable’s family.

CHARLIE Q.
How do you know I do?

SAGE
Everyone knows about the Wables.

CHARLIE Q.
Okay.

Charlie Q. grabs her backback and pulls a laptop

from it.

CHARLIE Q.
Wanna hear something?

Charlie Q. opens the laptop, types a few things,

and, suddenly, a melody starts to play.

It’s simple and complex. Fun and sad.

It’s really, really good.

SAGE
What’s that?

CHARLIE Q.
Like it?

SAGE
Yeah.

CHARLIE Q.
I call it Prism’s Theme. It’s for the show.
 84.

SAGE
You wrote this?

CHARLIE Q.
For the top of Act II.
When you and Cecily are in the garden.

SAGE
I didn’t know you could do this.

CHARLIE Q.
I’m the sound designer.

SAGE
I didn’t know that. I thought you just--
I didn’t know what your purpose was.

CHARLIE Q.
I get that a lot.

They listen to the music.

CHARLIE Q.
Wanna know another thing I learned about you?

SAGE
Why not?

CHARLIE Q.
You’re jealous of me.

Sage lets out a small laugh.

SAGE
If that’s what you want to think, go for it.

CHARLIE Q.
You are.
Because you wish you could burn it all down.
All those expectations you worked so hard to build around yourself-- you wish you could
shatter them and start at zero.

SAGE
That’s not true.
 85.

CHARLIE Q.
It’s not?

SAGE
I like myself.

CHARLIE Q.
Good.
I sorta like yourself too.

Sage is a little taken aback.

The song ends.

Charlie Q. hands Sage a post it note.

CHARLIE Q.
Here.
Make one.

It takes a moment, but Sage begins to fold.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM GREER

We’re not in this room, we’re in Greer’s mind.

She’s alone in there.

GREER
I had this dream when I was little. Really little.
I was on a tire-swing. In a tunnel.
It made sense in the dream. Don’t ask.
But I’m in this tunnel, and everything is white.
And glowing.
And this rat comes up to me.
A normal-sized rat. Grey with white paws.
It comes up to me.
And my impulse is to run away.
Not that I’m afraid of rats-- I actually think they’re pretty cute.
And I hear they’re very smart, which makes them a-okay in my book.
But we’re conditioned to be scared. To jump.
When they seem out of place. When they scurry out of nowhere.
So I did. I jumped.
Then the rat-- it grows. And suddenly it’s as big as a dog. A small dog.
And it stands up on its back legs.
 86.

And it stares into my eyes.

And I’m frozen. Scared. Confused.
Curious.
Then the rat speaks.
It says: your life is 37 years long. There is no more than that.
Then it scurries away.
And ever since, it just felt like a fact.
37 years.
20 more to go.

End of interruption.

WEEK FIVE

Blake and Jules are on the couch.

Blake is sitting up holding a script, and Jules is

laying down, her legs draped across him, her
eyes closed in concentration.

BLAKE
Do you mean to say you couldn’t love me then?

JULES
That is merely a--

BLAKE
Ah.

JULES
What?

BLAKE
The first word is ah.

JULES
Ah! That is merely a meta--

BLAKE
Clearly. Ah! That is clearly a--

JULES
Ah! That is clearly a metaphysical speculation, and like most metaphysical speculations
has very little...
 87.

BLAKE
Do you want me to tell you?

JULES
No.

BLAKE
Okay.

JULES
Very little something--

BLAKE
Reference.

JULES
Very little reference to the--

BLAKE
At all.

JULES
At all?

BLAKE
Very little reference at all.

JULES
Can you just let me say the line?

BLAKE
You asked me to be detail oriented.

JULES
I’m getting lost.

BLAKE
Try it again.

JULES
That is clearly a--

BLAKE
Ah.
 88.

JULES
Okay.
Okay.
I’m done.

BLAKE
Ah! That is clearly a metaphysical speculation, and like most metaphysical speculations
has very little reference at all to the actual facts of real life, as we know them.

Jules stands up.

BLAKE
Where are you going?

JULES
I’m done.

BLAKE
You almost had it.

JULES
No I didn’t.

BLAKE
Okay.

JULES
...

BLAKE
So what you do want to do now?

JULES
Okay.
This. This is our problem.

BLAKE
What?

JULES
It’s always the same thing.

BLAKE
What now?
 89.

JULES
You just agreed with me.
I said I couldn’t do it, and you agreed.

BLAKE
I didn’t agree--

JULES
Okay.

BLAKE
I did’t want to argue.
I don’t want another fight.

JULES
Then be supportive.

BLAKE
I’m trying.

JULES
If I say I can’t do it, convince me I’m wrong.

BLAKE
I said you almost had it.

JULES
And then you let me quit.

BLAKE
Okay.
I’m sorry.

JULES
It’s fine.

BLAKE
I’m trying.
I’m trying really hard this time.

JULES
This time.
 90.

BLAKE
I don’t know what to tell you.

JULES
Yeah.

BLAKE
Except I’m happy to be back here.
I’m happy to be back here with you.
So if you could tell me how I can stop making you mad all the time...

JULES
I tell you.
You don’t listen.

BLAKE
I’m not doing anything wrong.

JULES
You’re right.
You’re not doing anything.

BLAKE
...

JULES
I don’t know what you see in me.
I don’t know why you’re here.

BLAKE
I don’t want to do this again.

JULES
This as in you and me?

BLAKE
No. This as in fight.
Like-- you keep starting these fights. Why?
It’s it because you’re scared we have nothing else to talk about?

JULES
I’m not starting fights.

BLAKE
Then why are we always fighting?
 91.

JULES
And we heave plenty to talk about.

BLAKE
Like what?

JULES
...

BLAKE
...
We’re just very different people.

JULES
I’m tired.
I think I’m going to go home and crash after rehearsal.
There’s no need for you to stay.

BLAKE
Is that what you want?

JULES
I think so.
Yeah.

BLAKE
Okay.

JULES
Okay.

Blake stands.

JULES
Ah! That is clearly a metaphysical speculation, and like most metaphysical speculations
has very little reference at all to the actual facts of real life, as we know them.
...
Tada.

...

Blake smiles, sadly.

BLAKE
See?
Knew you could do it.
 92.

JULES
Thanks.

BLAKE
Yeah.

He takes a look around the room.

He almost says something.

Vick enters.

VICK
No one else is here yet?

Blake gives a small wave goodbye and leaves.

Jules wonders if she just made a mistake.

JULES
No.
Not yet.

VICK
Oh.
Okay.
Hey-- have you heard from Riley?

JULES
I mean, I’ve seen her around.

VICK
Right.
But you haven’t talked?

JULES
Not really.

VICK
Oh.
Okay.

JULES
You alright?
 93.

VICK
Yeah.
Why wouldn’t I be?

JULES
No reason.

...

VICK
Hey.
Scale of 1-10.
How badly am I fucking this whole thing up?

JULES
...

VICK
Thought so.

JULES
But it will be fine.

VICK
You think?

JULES
I don’t know.
I’m the wrong person to ask.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM CHARLIE Q.

We’re not in this room, we’re in Charlie Q.’s

mind.

She’s alone in there.

CHARLIE Q.
People don’t believe me.
Never have.
But I can see the future.
Always could.
And I don’t just make predictions.
I actually see it happen.
That person will trip.
 94.

That team will lose.

That love won’t last.
And I’m right. I’m always right.
For a while I thought I controlled it.
That my thoughts could make the bad things happen.
That I was the cause, not the effect.
But I realized I couldn’t change it.
That the ice cream would fall off the cone, regardless.
That after that fight, dad wouldn’t come home.
Those people all worried that we’re the last generation-- they’re not wrong.
And I can’t change it.

End of interruption.

WEEK SIX

Morgan enters the room. They drag out their

prop table and begin to cover it with butcher
paper.

Charlie F. enters with a lighting fixture in his

arms.

CHARLIE F.
Hey.
Do you know if rehearsal’s still on?

MORGAN
I’m proceeding as normal.

CHARLIE F.
Yeah.
That’s my plan too.

MORGAN
It’s dress rehearsal. Not like we can cancel dress rehearsal.

Charlie F. sets the light fixture down and begins

to dismantle it.

CHARLIE F.
Were you scared?
 95.

MORGAN
Nothing happened.

CHARLIE F.
Yeah.
...
I was scared.

Charlie F. works on the light.

Greer enters, carrying a pair of matronly shoes.

GREER
We’re rehearsing, right?

MORGAN
Haven’t heard otherwise.

GREER
Okay.
Think Evan will show up?

MORGAN
I doubt it.

CHARLIE F.
I feel bad for him.

GREER
Why?

CHARLIE F.
It’s his brother, not him.
He didn’t do anything.

MORGAN
Neither did his brother.
Everything’s fine.

CHARLIE F.
I heard they lead him out in handcuffs.
 96.

MORGAN
You don’t know that.
This is basically-- like-- a normal day.

GREER
This is not a normal day.

MORGAN
You’re right.
It’s dress rehearsal, and that’s a big deal.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM EVAN

We’re not in this room, we’re in Evan’s mind.

He’s alone in there.

EVAN
I’m the only kid at school with a flip phone.
I know this to be fact.
There’s no way it’s not.
My family’s weird like that.
Technology’s not to be trusted.
But still.
When you’re the only kid with a flip phone,
Everyone looks at you like...
...
And I’m the only kid at school with a brother like Joey.
Who can’t control the things he does-- he can’t.
He’s just like that. Not to be trusted.
But still.
When your brother brings a gun to school,
Everyone looks at you like...
But I’m a nice person.
I hope I’m a nice person.

End of interruption.

GREER
It was almost real.

MORGAN
But it wasn’t.

Greer sits on the couch.

 97.

Charlie F. looks up at her, kinda nervous.

Greer looks down at the shoes.

Charlie F. gathers some courage.

CHARLIE F.
Those your shoes?

GREER
Huh?

CHARLIE F.
Your shoes. For the play.

GREER
Oh.
Yeah.

CHARLIE F.
Cool.

GREER
Sure.

Charlie F. works on the light.

CHARLIE F.
McBurrough thought this was dead, but I almost have it working.

GREER
Cool.

CHARLIE F.
Thanks.

Charlie F. goes back to working on the light.

Greer stares at the shoes.

GREER
Did you see the shoes Jules is wearing in the show?

CHARLIE F.
No.
 98.

GREER
They’re pretty great.
Even though no one will see them, they have all this detail.
Bows.
Very fancy shoes.

CHARLIE F.
Cool.

GREER
Yeah.
Kai is pretty talented.

CHARLIE F.
Totally.

GREER
You know, just once, I’d like to play the character with the fancy shoes.
The pretty clothes.
I put in the work. I’m dedicated.

MORGAN
You got the best part in the whole play.

GREER
I’m the old lady.

MORGAN
But you’re funny! You have all the good lines.

GREER
I guess.

CHARLIE F.
Morgan’s right.

GREER
Whatever.
I mean, I know.
I’m not complaining.
Please don’t tell anyone I’m complaining.

CHARLIE F.
Of course not.
 99.

GREER
It’s just-- funny or not-- no one wants to be the old Lady.
Not when you’re 16.

CHARLIE F.
You got the part cuz you’re amazing.
You know that, right?

GREER
Sure.

CHARLIE F.
For real.

GREER
Just-- it would be nice to be the character someone falls in love with.

CHARLIE F.
Those characters are overrated.
You know you’re getting a hat, right?
Kai’s making a really cool hat. Just for you.

Greer shrugs.

CHARLIE F.
You’re going to steal the show.
Hold on, look at this.

Charlie F. turns on the light.

It glows.

GREER
Hey. You did it.

CHARLIE F.
Yep.

GREER
Where did you learn to do that?

CHARLIE F.
I’m good at fixing things.
And lights are easy. They make sense.
 100.

GREER
That’s pretty cool.

CHARLIE F.
Lighting is powerful.
And it can make anything look stunning.
Even those shoes.

Kai wheels on a costume rack filled with

costume pieces.

KAI
Oh, hallelujah! There are people here!

Greer approaches Kai.

GREER
What should I do with--?

KAI
I’ll take them. Thank you kindly.

Greer hands Kai the shoes.

Kai begins to sort through costumes.

KAI
Well, that was a day, amiright?
The worst part is I had to go-- like had to go--
And I’m looking at that damn toilet bucket thinking, please, not today.
Do not let today be the day I use a bucket in front of everyone.
And, miracle of miracles, it wasn’t!

CHARLIE F.
That was your biggest concern?

KAI
I’ve done my time in the public school system. I’m used to this.
Think Evan will show up? Evan better show up.

Blake enters, carrying a rose.

 101.

BLAKE
Hey.
Oh.
You guys are here.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM BLAKE

We’re not in this room, we’re in Blake’s mind.

He’s alone in there.

BLAKE
So, today, as I’m crouching on the floor in European History--
Watching Ms. Drabowski’s face as she realizes this is not a drill, and wishing Kevin
Philips would stop being so damn loud, and wanting that stupid alarm--
Locks, lights, out of sight
Locks, lights, out of sight
To stop. Just-- stop.
I’m crouching there, fumbling with my phone, when I realize,
suddenly--
Today’s their last rehearsal.
And-- why? Why do I care about that?
Why would that even pop into my head?
Why-- why is it that the only place I want to be is in that stupid room?
And suddenly, I can’t breathe.
Because, like that, I had a place I wanted to be.
And it didn’t make sense-- but it wrapped around me-- wrapped around my lungs so
tightly--
And I’m trying to play it cool, but I’m pretty sure I’m dying.
And that alarm-- that alarm--
Locks, lights, out of sight
Locks, lights, out of sight
Then, out of nowhere, Morgan’s there-- their hand on my back, telling me-- so quiet-- to
describe what I see. What’s around me.
So I describe.
And I start breathe.
And I wonder-- have they been in this class the whole time?
Has all of this been here the whole time?
I start to breathe.

End of interruption.

KAI
Duh. It’s dress.
What’s with the flower?
 102.

BLAKE
It’s for Jules.

KAI
I figured.

BLAKE
Because it’s dress rehearsal.

KAI
Flowers for dress rehearsal aren’t a thing.

BLAKE
They are when you’re trying to make someone like you again.

MORGAN
I think it’s sweet.

BLAKE
Thank you.
And thanks again-- for today-- I just sort of--

MORGAN
I get it.
Wanna help?

Blake sets the rose down and joins Morgan.

BLAKE
What do you want me to do?

Morgan hands Blake a Sharpie.

MORGAN
Draw outlines around these so people know where to put their props.

BLAKE
This okay?

MORGAN
Yep.

Blake works on outlining.

BLAKE
Hey. Question.
 103.

MORGAN
Huh?

BLAKE
Why this?

MORGAN
Why what?

Blake makes a sweeping gesture.

BLAKE
All of this.

MORGAN
I don’t know.
I can’t put it into words.

Kai glances over at the props table.

KAI
You might want to try outlining those scissors again.

Morgan looks down.

MORGAN
Why?

KAI
Why?

Blake looks at the outlined scissors, and after a

moment starts to laugh.

Morgan is at a loss.

Blake points to a pair of outlined scissors on the

table.

...

Blake removes the scissors and points to them

again.

Morgan looks at the very phallic outline.

 104.

MORGAN
Oh.
Shit.

Morgan laughs and starts scribbling out the

outline.

KAI
Don’t want to scandalize the freshman.
Mascot, come here.

BLAKE
Mascot?

MORGAN
Kai’s taken to calling you mascot.

BLAKE
Why?

KAI
Because you’re always hanging around here.

BLAKE
Well-- because of Jules.

KAI
Uh huh.

Blake approaches Kai.

KAI
Try this on.
You’re about the same size.

Kai puts an article of clothing on Blake.

KAI
Okay.

Kai starts making some adjustments.

Blake stands there awkwardly.

KAI
Not bad, right?
 105.

BLAKE
Sure.

KAI
Not bad at all.

Peyton enters.

They see Blake in the costume and are a little

confused.

PEYTON
Are you taking over for someone?

BLAKE
Me? What-- no.

KAI
He’s helping me out.

PEYTON
Oh.
You wanted me to come in for a fitting?

Kai removes the costume piece from Blake.

KAI
Thank you. That will do.
Come here, Reverend.
Try this.

Kai hands Peyton a costume piece.

Peyton tries it on.

Blake looks over the other costumes.

BLAKE
You made these?

KAI
You like?

BLAKE
That’s pretty amazing.
 106.

PEYTON
Isn’t it?

KAI
Thank you.

PEYTON
I’m so nervous.

KAI
Why?

PEYTON
It’s getting real.

KAI
Don’t be.
You’re one of the good ones. Excellent articulation.
Do you agree, mascot?

BLAKE
I like watching your scenes.

PEYTON
Really?

KAI
See?
It’s going to be great.

Peyton beams.

Evan enters the room.

Everyone stares at him.

EVAN
Hi-- I-- uh.
I didn’t know where to be.

...

KAI
Yeah you did. You’re in exactly the right place.
Come here.
Try on your costume.
 107.

Evan approaches Kai, who pulls out a costume

for Evan.

One by one, the others file into the room.

They’re getting ready for a show, putting on

costume pieces. Adjusting their hair. Going
through cues.

The room buzzes.

Riley comes into the room.

Everyone stares.

Vick approaches her.

VICK
Hey.

RILEY
Hi. I--
Onward?

RILEY
Onward.

There is a moment between them. Of

understanding. Of loss. Of newness and the
unknown.

INTERRUPTION: A BRIEF MOMENT OF REALNESS FROM MORGAN

We’re not in this room, we’re in Morgan’s

mind.

They’re alone in there.

MORGAN
I figured it out.
Why I love this. Theatre.
It’s this one warmup--
A little game where--
I don’t know-- maybe it’s stupid--
 108.

But-- no. It’s not.

It’s not.
We call it Pass the Pulse.
Everyone stands in a circle, holds hands, and closes their eyes.

The cast begins to form a circle.

Riley begins to move out of the way, worried

she no longer has a place here, but Vick offers
their hand.

Riley takes it and joins the circle.

It starts when someone gives their neighbor’s hand a gentle squeeze.

Then that person squeezes their neighbor’s hand, and then the other person squeezes their
neighbor’s hand--
You get the idea.
It passes from one person to another, all around the circle.
It’s supposed to be a heartbeat.
The squeeze.
And you stand there-- in silence-- and wait for it to come to you.
All of us waiting to do our part. To pass it around. To everyone.
As fast as it can go.
And it’s harder than it sounds.
Most of the time it gets off track.
The heartbeat gets lost.
Or two start going in opposite directions.
There are a hundred ways this thing can go wrong.
But when you get it right.

Kai waves Blake over to the circle.

He feels honored to join them.

It feels like-- magic.
So that’s why I love this.
Cuz it’s all kinda like that.
It’s passing that heartbeat,
flawlessly onward.

End of interruption.

Morgan joins hands with the rest of the circle,

and they pass a single heartbeat around.

Flawlessly.
 109.

End of play.