THE BAKER
FUNERAL
HANDBOOK
Paul E. Engle, editor
C
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker Funeral Handbook
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
© 1996, 2017 by Paul E. Engle
Published by Baker Books
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.bakerbooks.com
Printed in the United States of America
An updated edition of Baker’s Funeral Handbook
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—for example, electronic, photocopy,
recording—without the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is
brief quotations in printed reviews.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is on file at the Library of Congress,
Washington, DC.
ISBN 978-0-8010-1968-5
Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International
Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permis-
sion of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
Scripture quotations labeled ASV are from the American Standard Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations labeled HCSB are from the Holman Christian Standard Bible®, copy-
right © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003, 2009 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission.
Holman Christian Standard Bible®, Holman CSB®, and HCSB® are federally registered
trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.
Scripture quotations labeled KJV are from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations labeled NRSV are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible,
copyright © 1989, by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the
Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations labeled RSV are from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible,
copyright 1952 [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National
Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission.
All rights reserved.
17 18 19 20 21 22 23 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker Funeral Handbook
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
To: John, Matthew, Katie, Andrew, Carson
“We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds
of the Lord, his power, and the wonders he has done.”
Psalm 78:4
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker Funeral Handbook
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Contents
Preface 11
Part 1 Denominational Funeral and Memorial Services
1. Baptist 19
2. Christian Church 29
3. Christian Reformed Church 33
4. Church of the Nazarene 47
5. Episcopal 52
6. Evangelical Covenant Church 66
7. Evangelical Free Church of America 73
8. Free Methodist 81
9. Lutheran 86
10. Presbyterian 99
11. Reformed Church in America 105
7 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Contents
Part 2 Special Situation Funeral and Memorial Services
12. On Occasion of Stillborn, Miscarriage, and Infant
Deaths 119
13. Funeral for a Child 123
Option One 123
Option Two 127
14. Funeral for a Suicide or Other Tragic Circumstances 129
15. Funeral for an Accident Victim 133
16. Funeral for an Unbeliever 137
Part 3 Graveside and Committal Services
17. Supplemental Committal Services 143
Option One 143
Option Two 146
18. Service of Interment or Scattering of Ashes 150
Part 4 Resources
19. Ministry to the Dying 157
20. Scripture Readings and Confessions of Faith 161
21. Hymns for Funerals and Memorial Services 168
22. Quotations, Illustrations, and Last Words 170
23. Creating a Eulogy or Remembrance 182
24. Template for a Funeral or Memorial Service 186
8 Baker Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Contents
Appendixes
A. Funeral Message Preparation 193
B. Funeral Planning Guide 197
C. Pastor’s Funeral Record 200
D. Preplanning Funeral Form 202
9 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Preface
I now feel so weaned from earth, my affections so much in Heaven,
that I can leave you all without regret, yet I do not love you less, but
God more.
William Wilberforce
Labor now to live so, that at the hour of death thou mayest rather
rejoice than fear. . . . Happy is he that always hath the hour of his
death before his eyes, and daily prepareth himself to die. . . . Be thou
therefore always in a readiness, and so lead thy life that death may
never take thee unprepared.
Thomas à Kempis
In the face of death, grieving church members and their families need
the comforting presence of a pastor as much as, if not more than, at
any other time. Pastors are often called upon to minister to the dying
in homes and in hospitals. Immediately following a death, pastors are
11 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Preface
expected to meet with the surviving family to comfort as well as to
counsel concerning the funeral or memorial service and burial arrange-
ments. Pastors then preside over these services as representatives of
Christ’s church.
Why Have Funerals and Memorial Services?
Funerals and memorial services provide an opportunity for family and
friends to honor and remember the departed one. Such services provide
a means for the Christian community to show support and sympathy
for those who grieve. This is an occasion to affirm one’s faith in the
resurrected Christ and the eternal home he is preparing for those who
know him as Savior and Lord. At the graveside committal service the
body or ashes of the deceased are respectfully laid to rest in anticipa-
tion of the future resurrection.
Where Can Pastors Turn for Direction in Planning Funerals
and Memorial Services?
Full funeral liturgies cannot be found in the pages of Scripture. We are
therefore given freedom to employ scriptural truths to develop appro-
priate Christian funerals (with a casket or cremated remains present)
and memorial services (without a casket and sometimes following
cremation). Whereas in past years pastors commonly turned to their
own traditional denominational services for the full spectrum of funeral
needs, we have witnessed a gradual shift away from this standardized
approach. Many pastors, taking into account the circumstances of the
12Baker Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Preface
death as well as the unique background of the deceased, are recogniz-
ing the need to be aware of the funeral customs of a wider diversity of
denominations. Denominational distinctions are breaking down as
funeral and memorial services today often vary greatly. Personalized
services with more congregational participation have become more
frequent.
The Baker Funeral Handbook provides pastors from multiple de-
nominations with comprehensive resources to tailor creative funerals,
memorial services, and committal services. A quick scan through the
table of contents will reveal the wide range of resources, especially help-
ful when one is called upon to preside over a service with a minimum
of preparation time.
How Can This Handbook Be Used?
Here are some examples of ways this book might prove helpful:
• Experienced pastors can profit from the stimulation of being
exposed to funeral and memorial service customs from a vari-
ety of denominations. Rather than purchasing eleven different
denominational handbooks, pastors can use this single volume
to construct a creative and personalized service.
• Pastors who face special needs such as conducting a funeral for
one who committed suicide, a request for a memorial service for
a stillborn infant, the funeral for a child, the death of someone
in an accident, or a funeral for someone who does not profess
13 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Preface
to be a Christian, can find in these pages helpful, specific, and
appropriate suggestions.
• Ministers who need to put together a funeral message within a
short space of time will find resources in the form of suggested
texts, illustrations, quotations, last words of noted individuals,
and guidelines for such messages.
• When visiting with the dying, pastors will find in these pages
appropriate Scripture texts and ideas for prayer, such as sugges-
tions on how to pray with someone dying of AIDS or someone
suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.
• The charts in the appendixes may be photocopied for use in
planning funeral and memorial services, for working with pa-
rishioners to preplan funeral preferences, or for keeping a record
of services performed.
• Pastors may wish to recommend this book to parishioners who
request help in preplanning funeral or memorial services for
themselves or family members.
• Ministerial students or new pastors who face their first funerals,
memorial services, or committal services and need direction
will find it here.
• Seminary or Bible college instructors may find this a useful
manual to recommend to their students or to use in pastoral
duties classes.
Conducting funerals and memorial services is one of the highest
privileges for ministers of the gospel of the resurrected Christ. This
handbook is offered with the prayer that you will find in its pages
14Baker Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Preface
valuable tools that will enable you to minister effectively to the dying
and their families. May the carrying out of our solemn, sacred duties
only serve to heighten our anticipation of the new heaven and new
earth where it is promised, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes.
There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old
order of things has passed away” (Rev. 21:4).
Having served faithfully in ministering to the dying and their fami-
lies, may we echo the words of Matthew Henry (1662–1714), who
concluded his own life with this reflection: “A life spent in the service
of God and communion with Him, is the most comfortable and pleas-
ant life that one can live in this present world.”
15 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
P a r t 1
Denominational
Funeral
and Memorial
Services
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker Funeral Handbook
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
1
Baptist
Opening Words
But as it is written:
What eye did not see and ear did not hear,
and what never entered the human mind—
God prepared this for those who love Him.
Now God has revealed these things to us by the Spirit, for
the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.
(1 Cor. 2:9–10 HCSB)
Lord, happy is the man You discipline
and teach from Your law
to give him relief from troubled times
until a pit is dug for the wicked.
The Lord will not forsake His people
or abandon His heritage. (Ps. 94:12–14 HCSB)
19 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Denominational Funeral and Memorial Services
See how happy the man is God corrects;
so do not reject the discipline of the Almighty. ( Job 5:17
HCSB)
Because you have made the Lord—my refuge,
the Most High—your dwelling place,
no harm will come to you;
no plague will come near your tent.
For He will give His angels orders concerning you,
to protect you in all your ways.
They will support you with their hands
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
You will tread on the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the young lion and the serpent.
Because he is lovingly devoted to Me,
I will deliver him;
I will protect him because he knows My name.
When he calls out to Me, I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble.
I will rescue him and give him honor. (Ps. 91:9–15 HCSB)
Hymn
A hymn may be sung or read, or suitable poetry may be used instead.
Scripture
Select one or more of the following Scripture passages.
20Baker Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Baptist
Beloved, let us seek comfort in the assurances of God’s Word.
If we would be assured of God’s care for us, we need the following
words:
The Lord is my shepherd;
there is nothing I lack.
He lets me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He renews my life;
He leads me along the right paths
for His name’s sake.
Even when I go through the darkest valley,
I fear no danger,
for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
as long as I live. (Ps. 23 HCSB)
We know that all things work together for the good of those who love
God: those who are called according to His purpose. For those He
foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His
Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brothers. And
21 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Denominational Funeral and Memorial Services
those He predestined, He also called; and those He called, He also
justified; and those He justified, He also glorified.
What then are we to say about these things?
If God is for us, who is against us?
He did not even spare His own Son
but offered Him up for us all;
how will He not also with Him grant us everything?
Who can bring an accusation against God’s elect?
God is the One who justifies.
Who is the one who condemns?
Christ Jesus is the One who died,
but even more, has been raised;
He also is at the right hand of God
and intercedes for us.
Who can separate us from the love of Christ?
Can affliction or anguish or persecution
or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written:
Because of You
we are being put to death all day long;
we are counted as sheep to be slaughtered.
No, in all these things we are more than victorious
through Him who loved us.
For I am persuaded that not even death or life,
angels or rulers,
things present or things to come, hostile powers,
height or depth, or any other created thing
will have the power to separate us
22Baker Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Baptist
from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord! (Rom.
8:28–39 HCSB)
Then one of the elders asked me, “Who are these people robed in
white, and where did they come from?”
I said to him, “Sir, you know.”
Then he told me:
These are the ones coming out of the great tribulation.
They washed their robes and made them white
in the blood of the Lamb.
For this reason they are before the throne of God,
and they serve Him day and night in His sanctuary.
The One seated on the throne will shelter them:
They will no longer hunger;
they will no longer thirst;
the sun will no longer strike them,
nor will any heat.
For the Lamb who is at the center of the throne
will shepherd them;
He will guide them to springs of living waters,
and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes. (Rev.
7:13–17 HCSB)
If we would be assured of an eternal home, let our hearts be consoled
by these words:
Your heart must not be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me.
In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if not, I would have
told you. I am going away to prepare a place for you. If I go away and
23 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Denominational Funeral and Memorial Services
prepare a place for you, I will come back and receive you to Myself,
so that where I am you may be also. ( John 14:1–3 HCSB)
We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, concerning those
who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest, who have no
hope. Since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, in the same
way God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep through
Jesus. For we say this to you by a revelation from the Lord: We who
are still alive at the Lord’s coming will certainly have no advantage
over those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend
from heaven with a shout, with the archangel’s voice, and with the
trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are
still alive will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet
the Lord in the air and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore
encourage one another with these words. (1 Thess. 4:13–18 HCSB)
Prayer
Having heard God speaking to us in his Word, let us now take our
sorrow to him, being assured that he will hear us by the following
blessed words:
Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands,
sinners, and purify your hearts, double-minded people! . . . Humble
yourselves before the Lord, and He will exalt you. ( James 4:8, 10
HCSB)
Let us pray . . .
24Baker Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Baptist
Hymn
A hymn may be sung or read, or suitable poetry may be used instead.
Address
If deemed advisable.
Hymn
A hymn may be sung or read, or suitable poetry may be used instead.
Closing Words
The services here are now concluded, and we will proceed to the cem-
etery where the interment will take place.
Minister takes his place in the lead of the pallbearers and walks from home or
church in this order to the funeral vehicles. Upon arrival at the cemetery, the
minister again takes his place in the lead of the pallbearers and walks in this
order to the grave.
Procession to the Grave
The minister may say the following, as he walks in the lead of the procession.
25 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Denominational Funeral and Memorial Services
Then I heard a voice from heaven saying, “Write: The dead who die
in the Lord from now on are blessed.”
“Yes,” says the Spirit, “let them rest from their labors, for their
works follow them!” (Rev. 14:13 HCSB)
You guide me with Your counsel,
and afterward You will take me up in glory.
Who do I have in heaven but You?
And I desire nothing on earth but You.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart,
my portion forever. (Ps. 73:24–26 HCSB)
Lowering of the Casket
When the casket has been placed on the supports ready for lowering into the
grave, the minister takes his stand at the head of the grave. Then he may say
as the casket is lowered:
Brothers, I tell you this: Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom
of God, and corruption cannot inherit incorruption. Listen! I am
telling you a mystery:
We will not all fall asleep,
but we will all be changed,
in a moment, in the blink of an eye,
at the last trumpet.
For the trumpet will sound,
and the dead will be raised incorruptible,
26Baker Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Baptist
and we will be changed.
For this corruptible must be clothed
with incorruptibility,
and this mortal must be clothed
with immortality.
When this corruptible is clothed
with incorruptibility,
and this mortal is clothed
with immortality,
then the saying that is written will take place:
Death has been swallowed up in victory.
Death, where is your victory?
Death, where is your sting?
Now the sting of death is sin,
and the power of sin is the law.
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory
through our Lord Jesus Christ!
Therefore, my dear brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always excelling
in the Lord’s work, knowing that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.
(1 Cor. 15:50–58 HCSB)
Words of Committal
My Friends: Whereas, death hath once more invaded our ranks and re-
moved from the walk of life our beloved brother/sister __________,
his/her soul having departed to dwell in “the undiscovered country
27 Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The Baker
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
Denominational Funeral and Memorial Services
from whose bourn no traveler returns,”* it has become our sad duty
to commit his/her body to the grave—earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
dust to dust—and our inspiring privilege to commend his/her soul to
our Maker, Father, and Redeemer, in the confident hope of the com-
ing again of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the resurrection of the
body from the grave, and the joyous life reserved for the children of
light in the realms of glory.
Then the grave may be filled or canopied and decorated with flowers, after which
the people may be dismissed by prayer or benediction.
Benediction
“And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your
hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. . . . Now to our God and Father be
glory forever and ever. Amen” (Phil. 4:7, 20 HCSB).
James Randolph Hobbs, The Pastor’s Manual (Nashville: Broadman & Holman,
1962), 21–30. Renewal, 1990, The Sunday School Board of the Southern Baptist
Convention. All rights reserved. Used by permission. Adapted with quotations from
the King James Version replaced by the Holman Christian Standard Bible, 2009.
*William Shakespeare, Hamlet, act 3, scene 1. Bourn means small stream.
28Baker Funeral Handbook
Paul E. Engle, ed., The
Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 1996, 2017. Used by permission.
(Unpublished manuscript—copyright protected Baker Publishing Group)
