Cons of divorce according to Ann Gold Buscho, Ph.D.
2023
Emotional and Psychological Stress
Divorce is almost always emotionally and psychologically taxing, leading to stress, depression, anxiety,
and other mental health issues. Some individuals may struggle with these challenges for an extended
period, impacting their overall well-being. Some seem to get stuck in their anger or grief after the divorce
and can’t “move on.”
Financial Challenges
While some experience improved financial situations, others may face significant financial challenges,
including legal fees, dividing assets, and maintaining separate households. The financial burden of divorce
can be long-lasting, affecting both spouses and their children. Supporting two homes may be stressful, and
your children may be aware that money is tight.
If possible, protect them from the stress or worry that they might pick up from you. Megan, a child I
worked with, told me, “There won’t be Christmas presents this year because Mom took all our money.”
Megan felt insecure and angry at her mother.
Impact on Children
One of the most common worries parents express is how the divorce will “damage our children.” Divorce
can create a more stable and peaceful home environment in some cases, which may be better for
children’s well-being. Children often face emotional and psychological challenges during and after divorce,
and it can strain parent-child relationships when they are drawn into loyalty binds or assume the roles of
ally, messenger, spy, or confidante.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/a-better-divorce/202309/an-honest-look-at-the-pros-and-
cons-of-divorce?amp
If the criteria for granting a divorce are well thought of and strict, those
applying for divorce can be forewarned that they must have a truly valid
case to pursue its filing. Would this be another convincing reason for
legalizing divorce?
Most countries where divorce is legal have now gone a step further
down by accepting what is called a “no fault divorce”. This means
that couples do not need a valid or compelling reason to separate;
only a simple agreement to end the marriage is enough. This paves
the way for flimsy excuses (or none) to be legal grounds for ending
a marriage. The petitioner for divorce could cite “irreconcilable
differences” without having to validate what he or she means.
Our Constitution (PH) guarantees the protection of the institution of
marriage as a lasting and permanent union (Article XV, Sec. 2 “Marriage,
as an inviolable social institution, is the foundation of the family and shall
be protected by the State”).
A lasting marriage stabilizes the family and society as a whole. Divorce
divides and destroys the family. Marriage is not a 50-50 arrangement.
Divorce is. Marriage has to be 100-100. “It isn’t about dividing everything
in half, but giving everything you’ve got.” If one gives 80, then the other
must give a 120.
Divorce advocates argue that it is a solution to failed, if not
oppressive and dehumanizing unions. Shouldn’t divorce be a
consideration to properly address this and other irreconcilable
differences between married couples?
If a spouse proves not only to be overbearing but also abusive and
cruel, or if there are situations in which living together becomes
practically impossible, there are sufficient provisions in the Family
Code that provide for legal separation of the spouses. In some
cases, there is even annulment of voidable marriages. There are
also salutary provisions in Republic Act No. 9262 (An Act defining
Violence against Women and their Children, providing for protective
measures for victims, prescribing penalties therefore, and for other
purposes) for the protection of women and their children. Legal
Separation may be the only recourse to ensure not only the legal
rights and care of the children but also spousal support, visitation
rights, etc.
But divorce advocates insist that everyone deserves to have
another chance to be happy or at least have the right to re-marry.
Why not?
This argument is incorrect. There is NO GUARANTEE that the next
union will be happy and successful. In fact, studies in the U. S. prove
that first marriages are the ones that really last and remarriages
ultimately fail. See “The High Failure Rate of Second and Third
Marriages” (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-intelligent-
divorce/201202/the-high-failure-rate-second-and-third-marriages).
If legal separation, annulment and declarations of nullity are juridical
options which are already available, why would one want a divorce that
will ultimately hurt the family and damage society? Difficult marriages can
be repaired. There are programs that couples can attend to help them out.
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If we speak here of financial costs, yes, it is costly for not everyone will be
able to afford it.
In addition, having another family will mean more expenses to support
both families. The effects of divorce are not limited to the incremental
financial expenses. Studies have shown the destructive consequences of
divorce: the devastating emotional and psychological effects on the
separating spouses and the children. The children of divorce will become
the parents of tomorrow. They may also fail to prioritize the strength of
their families.
https://alfi.org.ph/2023/11/divorce-why-not/
