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Sarcasm

The document is a humorous collection of sarcastic and witty remarks that reflect a person's thoughts and feelings about work and social interactions. It showcases a blend of self-deprecating humor, frustration with others, and a desire for solitude. The tone is light-hearted and relatable, emphasizing the challenges of navigating daily life and workplace dynamics.

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Zsófia Bese
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8 views2 pages

Sarcasm

The document is a humorous collection of sarcastic and witty remarks that reflect a person's thoughts and feelings about work and social interactions. It showcases a blend of self-deprecating humor, frustration with others, and a desire for solitude. The tone is light-hearted and relatable, emphasizing the challenges of navigating daily life and workplace dynamics.

Uploaded by

Zsófia Bese
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Sorry I’m late. I saw a cat.

If you se eme talking to myself, just move along… We’re having a team meeting.

I’m not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.

My brain has too many tabs open. 4 of them are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming
from.

In memory of when I gave a shit.

I may look calm but in my head I’ve slapped you 3 times.

You think I’m sarcastic? You should hear what I don’t say!

No crisis allowed this week. My schedule is already full.

You smell like drama and a headache. Please get away from me.

Am I perfect? No. But am I trying to be a better person? Also no.

0 days without sarcasm.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that It’s not worth the jail time.

Some people just need a high-five in the face with a chair.

Fun fact: I don’t care.

Everyone brings joy to this office. Some when they enter, some when they leave.

I don’t know I just work here.

It’s a beautiful day to leave me alone.

Me? Sarcastic? Never.

If my mouth doesn’t say it, my face definitely will!

I’m sorry. Did I roll my eyes out loud?

You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We will train you.

I’m not antisocial, I’m antistupid.

I get up early… or I get up friendly.

If you can read this you’re too close.

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.

Inner peace begins with four words: not my fucking problem.

Sorry I’m late. I didn’t want to come.

I’ll get over it. I just need to be dramatic first.

I can explain itt o you but I can’t understand it for you.


Sorry… Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.

Expresso Patronum!

Stay pawsitive!

Be a voice not an echo!

The secret ingredient is cat hair.

Sometimes you just have to say LOL and move on.

When life gives you lemons squeeze them in people’s eyes.

Not my circus, not my monkeys, but apparently I’m the ringmaster of this shit show.

I whisper WTF to myself at least 20 times a day.

Me? Weird? Always.

I’m silently correcting your grammar.

I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.

And yet despite the look on my face, you’re still talking.

In order to insult me I must first value your opinion, nice try though.

I’m fine, it’s just my face.

National Sarcasm Society, like we need your support.

Well, well, well.. if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.

To do list: Your mom.

Don’t get horny around me I’m an empath.

Protect your daughter. Educate your son.

I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.

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