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Wasted an alcoholic therapist s fight for recovery in a
flawed treatment system Palmer Digital Instant
Download
Author(s): Palmer, Maureen;Pond, Michael
ISBN(s): 9781771641975, 1771641975
Edition: Review copy
File Details: PDF, 1.09 MB
Year: 2016
Language: english
Wasted
WASTED An Alcoholic Therapist’s
       Fight for Recovery in a
      Flawed Treatment System
           Vancouver/Berkeley
Copyright © 2016 by Michael Pond and Maureen Palmer
Preface xi
                            vii
18. Check Out 152
19. Crazy Mike Walks Again 158
20. Cloverdale House 166
21. A Second Chance 181
22. Pay Day 200
23. Piss Test 207
24. Back to Work, Week Two 214
25. The Last Date 222
26. The Last Bender 231
27. Death’s Door 238
28. Fifty-Six 245
29. The Universe Cuts Me a Break 250
30. Your Honour 258
31. The Fraser Regional Correctional Centre 262
32. Christmas 282
33. Life Goes On 287
34. The Prodigal Father 292
35. Spiritual Enlightenment 295
36. I Know That Walk 303
Maureen:
38. The Real Story of Addiction 323
39. Shaming and Blaming Only Makes the Problem Worse 325
40. Abstinence Doesn’t Mean Success 330
41. How AA’s Standard of Success is Now the Culture’s 334
42. Most Doctors Don’t Know How to Treat Addiction 338
43. The Modern Theory of Addiction 341
44. Drugs Approved to Treat Addiction 345
45. Could Vivitrol Work for Mike? 349
46. Motivational Interviewing 351
47. Community Reinforcement and Family Training
   (CRAFT) 356
Mike:
48. Why I Relapsed 365
49. Why Me? 367
50. Training Doctors in Addiction Medicine 377
51. My Relationship With AA   381
52. Our Relationship With Alcohol 385
53. The Challenge with Evidence-Based Treatments 387
54. Hope 389
Acknowledgments 391
Endnotes 395
                           Preface
I
    met Mike a few years ago on the dating website Plentyof-
    Fish. On our first date he arrived on transit and ordered
     cranberry juice and soda. Ashamed, he admitted he had lost
his licence to drunk driving and had been sober just over a
year. This is the part where my female friends screamed, “Run,
run, run for the hills.” Over the next few dates, Mike revealed
such a riveting story, I blurted, “We have to write a book,” to
this near stranger. Initially, I was probably more intrigued with
the story than the man. Wasted: An Alcoholic Therapist’s Fight for
Recovery in a Flawed Treatment System is that story. Five years
later, we are very happy together.
     In telling this story, we needed to be respectful of people’s
privacy. Many names and other identifying information have
been changed. This book is Mike Pond’s truth. As much as pos-
sible, we corroborated events with others.
—Maureen Palmer
                                 xi
         Pa r t I
I
t’s like a stuck record that no one nudges.
    “Let me outta here! You sons a’ bitches! I wanna talk to
    my lawyer!” Dana’s caterwauling reaches me from the soli-
tary cell in the women’s wing. It’s grating on my nerves. Three
a.m. and she’s been at it for hours.
    “Cocksuckers. Let me talk to my lawyer. Let me out of here,
you sons a’ bitches.”
    “Shut the fuck up, bitch!” another female inmate howls,
matching Dana decibel for decibel. “I’m gonna fuck you up
when we get outta here, you drunken whore.”
    I roll over on the thin jail-cell pallet and pull the grey
blanket over my head in a useless attempt to drown out the
hollering. I fade in and out of sleep, no longer able to discern
what’s a bad dream and what’s an even worse reality.
    I wish I’d never gone to Three Mile Beach.
                                3
4   wa s t e d
        “Mr. Pond.” Dana emerges from the lake, runs across the
    sand and stands before me glistening in the sun. “Let’s move to
    Nelson and open up a treatment centre on Kootenay Lake. It’s
    our destiny. We’re meant to do something amazing together.”
         I gaze into Dana’s piercing blue eyes and I’m sick with
    longing. I long for her and the fantasy we’ve built together, a
    fantasy so flimsy I already feel it slipping away. She arranges
    her perfect coral-bikini-clad body on the towel, plants a kiss
    on my sun-burnished brow, lies down and closes her eyes. At
    forty-two, Dana’s lithe, willowy beauty belies her age. I track a
    rivulet of water as it slides into the hollow between her breasts.
         I’d always wanted to open a treatment centre. I’d been
    practising psychotherapy for over twenty years in Penticton,
    a small resort city in Canada’s Okanagan wine region, and I’d
    often thought I wouldn’t have much of a practice at all if not
    for alcohol. From the surly conduct-disordered kid slouched
    on my couch to the shamefaced husband convicted of domes-
    tic assault, court-ordered into treatment, to the suicidal young
    First Nations mother of five, barely thirty and already worn out,
    you don’t get too far in family-of-origin research before you
    stumble over an out-of-control alcoholic. I’d helped hundreds
    of people kick booze. But I can’t help myself.
        “Yeah, the universe has a grand plan for us, Dana.” I try to
    muster enthusiasm as I lie back next to her. “We were put
    together to make great things happen.” Great. Now I’m lying
    even to myself.
         Dana exhales, her face breaking into a wide smile. Her per-
    fect white teeth dazzle. I smell vodka. The fantasy fades just a
    little bit more.
         Over the course of the afternoon at the beach, we polish off
    a litre and a half of Smirnoff mixed with Clamato juice and a
    generous splash of Frank’s hot sauce. We regale ourselves. We
    are as eloquent and witty and deep as only drunks can be.
                                                  Three Mile Beach   5
D
  ana drives deliberately slowly just under the speed
    limit so as not to alert cops. The late-afternoon October
    sun still warms our shoulders as we cruise up Lakeshore
Drive in her little Miata MX-5. We first parallel the beach
where sailboats dance on the sparkling water. Then we veer
north up through the Bench plateaus, curl around the base
of Munson Mountain onto Naramata Road and meander
through the Upper Bench vineyards and orchards to Naramata
Village. A tiny warning pings in my head.
  “Dana, I don’t think this is a good idea. Let’s turn back, drop
me off at my place.”
  “Oh no, I want them to meet you.” Dana focuses on the road
ahead. “I’m so proud of you.”
    I’m not proud of me. I’m a drunk.
    We pull up to a 1960s two-storey and I’m filled with a sense
of foreboding. Dana and her husband are separated, and her
boys are living with their dad. He sounds like a pretty good guy.
He lets Dana drop by to see her sons as much as she likes. I’m
not sure how he’ll feel about today’s little unscheduled stop.
                                6
                                                          The Visit   7
        “You useless prick.” Her face contorts with rage. “I hate you.”
         Sean, clearly practiced at this, sits down at the kitchen table.
    “Dana, you’re drunk. Why don’t you guys just leave?”
        “You prick. You useless piece of shit,” Dana spits.
         Sean turns in his chair to face Dana and places both of his
    hands on the table. The boys scrunch closer together on the
    couch. Lizzy, an old white mutt, belly-crawls under the cherry
    wood coffee table, just her curlicue tail visible.
         My mouth hangs open in shock. I have never heard my
    refined Dana talk this way.
        “Dana, let’s go.” The fingers on my left hand embed into her
    upper arm flesh. “Let’s get out of here.”
         With brute strength she wrenches free and lunges for the
    Henckels chef’s knife on the kitchen counter.
        “Not until I kill this limp-dicked prick!” She wraps her ele-
    gant fingers around the black handle.
         No time to process this lightning turn in Dana’s personal-
    ity—I jump to action.
        “No, Mom, no!” Dana’s older son pleads from the couch.
    “Please just leave—just go!”
         Sean grabs a kitchen chair and holds it between himself
    and Dana like a lion tamer. I dive for Dana, grab her wrist and
    wrench the knife from her hand.
        “Let’s just go, Dana. That’s enough.” I toss the knife back to
    the counter. I feel my carotid arteries pound.
         Dana wrestles and kicks at me as I drag her out the door.
    They all stare after us, in part disbelief, part relief.
         My mind reels. What the hell just happened? What hap-
    pened to my impeccable Dana? Who is this woman?
         I hear Sean on the phone behind us, talking to 911.
         We bolt for what is now our getaway car. We jump in and
    Dana tears out of the driveway, spraying gravel everywhere,
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Corporation. 1 reel. © M2168. 10Jun47; Columbia Pictures
Industries, Inc. (PWH); 8Jul74; R582973.
R582974.
  Volley oop. By Columbia Pictures Corporation. 1 reel. © M2216.
27Jun47; Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. (PWH); 8Jul74;
P582974.
R583044.
  The Unfinished dance. By Loew’s, Inc. 10 reels. © L1157. 29Jul47;
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Inc. (PWH); 2Aug74; R583044.
R583122.
  The Unfaithful. By Warner Brothers Pictures, Inc. 11 reels. ©
L1097. 5Jul47; United Artists Television, Inc. (PWH); 5Aug74;
R583122.
R583123.
  Possessed. By Warner Brothers Pictures, Inc. 12 reels. © L1160.
26Jul47; United Artists Television, Inc. (PWH); 5Aug74; R583123.
R583124.
  Sportsman’s playground. By Vitaphone Corporation. 1 reel. ©
M2220. 2Jul47; United Artists Television, Inc. (PWH); 5Aug74;
R583124.
R583125.
  Growing pains. By Vitaphone Corporation. 1 reel. © M2263.
17Jul47; United Artists Television, Inc. (PWH); 5Aug74; R583125.
R583192.
  The Web. By universal Pictures Company, Inc. 10 reels. © L1085.
9Jun97; Universal Pictures (PWH); 8Jul74; R583192.
R583193.
  Ivy. By Inter-Wood Productions, Inc. 10 reels. © L1092. 19Jun47;
Universal Pictures (PWH); 8Jul74; R583193.
R583194.
  Universal newsreel, vol. 20, no. 43. By Universal Pictures
Company, Inc. 1 reel. © M2172. 3Jun47; Universal Pictures (PWH);
8Jul74; R583194.
R583195.
  Universal newsreel, vol. 20, no. 44. By Universal Pictures
Company, Inc. 1 reel. © M2173. 5Jun47; Universal Pictures (PWH);
8Jul74; R583195.
R583196.
  Universal newsreel, vol. 20, no. 45. By Universal Pictures
Company, Inc. 1 reel. M2174. 10Jun47; Universal Pictures (PWH);
8Jul74; R583196.
R583197.
  Universal newsreel, vol. 20, no. 46. By Universal Pictures
Company, Inc. 1 reel. © M2175. 12Jun47; Universal Pictures (PWH);
8Jul74; R583197.
R583198.
  Universal newsreel, vol. 20, no. 47. By Universal Pictures
Company, Inc. 1 reel. © M2176. 17Jun47; Universal Pictures (PWH);
8Jul74; R583198.
R583199.
  Universal newsreel, vol. 20, no. 48. By Universal Pictures
Company, Inc. 1 reel. © M2177. 19Jun47; Universal Pictures (PWH);
11Jul74; R583199.
R583200.
  Universal newsreel, vol. 20, no. 49. By Universal Pictures
Company, Inc. 1 reel. © M2178. 24Jun47; Universal Pictures (PWH);
8Jul74; R583200.
R583201.
  Universal newsreel, vol. 20, no. 50. By Universal Pictures
Company, Inc. 1 reel. © M2179. 26Jun47; Universal Pictures (PWH);
8Jul74; R583201.
R583202.
  The Overture to William Tell. By Universal Pictures Company, Inc.
& Walter Lantz Productions. 1 reel. © M2181. 9Jun47; Universal
Pictures (PWH); 8Jul74; R583202.
R583370.
  Desire me. By Loew’s, Inc. 10 reels. © L1211. 5Aug47; Metro-
Goldwyn-Mayer, Inc. (PWH); 12Aug74; R583370.
R583371.
  A Mouse in the house. By Loew’s, Inc. 1 reel. © L1230. 5Aug47;
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, Inc. (PWH); 12Aug74; R583371.
R583409.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 285. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. © M2260. 2Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583409.
R583410.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 286. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. © M2261. 4Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583410.
R583411.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 288. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. © M2311. 11Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583411.
R583412.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 291. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. © M2312. 23Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583412.
R583413.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 292. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. © M2313. 25Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583413.
R583414.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 293. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. © M2314. 30Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583414.
R583415.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 287. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. © M2362. 9Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583415.
R583416.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 289. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. © M2363. 16Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583416.
R583417.
  News of the day, vol. 18, issue no. 290. By Hearst Metrotone News,
Inc. 1 reel. M2364. 18Jul47; Hearst Metrotone News, a division of
the Hearst Corporation (PWH); 13Aug74; R583417.
R583549.
  Opfergang. By UFA Filmkunst. © 5Dec46; L695. Edward Finney
(PWH); 19Aug74; R583549.
R583550.
  Der Scheemann. By Fischer-Koesen Film Pr. Add. ti.: The
Snowman. © 5Dec46; L697. Edward Finney (PWH); 19Aug74;
R583550.
R583551.
  Es lebe die Liebe. By Bavaria Filmkunst. Add. ti.: Long live love. ©
8Dec46; L765. Edward Finney (PWH); 19Aug74 R583551.
R583552.
  Grosse Liebe. By UFA Filmkunst. Add. ti.: The Great love. ©
8Dec46; L766. Edward Finney (PWH); 19Aug74; R583552.
R583553.
  Frauen sind keine Engel. By Wien Film. Add. ti.: Women are no
angels. © 8Dec46; L767. Edward Finney (PWH); 19Aug74; R583553.
R583554.
 Meine Frau Teresa. By Tobis Klangfilm. Add. ti.: My wife Teresa.
© 8Dec46; L768. Edward Finney (PWH); 19Aug74; R583554.
R583555.
  Meine Tante, deine Tante. By UFA Filmkunst. Add. ti.: My aunt;
your aunt. © 8Dec46; L769. Edward Finney (PWH); 19Aug74;
R583555.
R583556.
  Hallo Janine. By UFA Filmkunst. © 8Dec46; L770. Edward Finney
(PWH); 19Aug74; R583556.
R583571.
  Hoppy’s holiday. By Hopalong Cassidy Productions, Inc. 6 reels. ©
19Jul47; L1104. Grace Bradley Boyd, surviving trustee under the
declaration of trust by William L. Boyd & Grace Bradley Boyd, dated
Jan. 6, 1960 (PWH); 23Jul74; R583571.
R583572.
  Paramount news, number 91. By Paramount Pictures, Inc. 1 reel.
© 12Jul47; M2228. Major News Library (PWH); 23Jul74; R583572.
R583573.
  Paramount news, number 92. By Paramount Pictures, Inc. 1 reel.
© 16Jul47; M2229. Major News Library (PWH); 23Jul74; R583573.
R583574.
  Paramount news, number 93. By Paramount Pictures, Inc. 1 reel.
© 19Jul47; M2251. Major News Library (PWH); 23Jul74; R583574.
R583575.
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