Preview: Information To U Se R S
Preview: Information To U Se R S
This manuscript has been reproduced from the microfilm master. UMI films the
text directly from the original or copy submitted. Thus, some thesis and
dissertation copies are in typewriter face, while others may be from any type of
computer printer.
W
In the unlikely event that the author did not send UMI a complete manuscript and
there are missing pages, these will be noted. Also, if unauthorized copyright
IE
material had to be removed, a note will indicate the deletion.
EV
one exposure and is included in reduced form at the back of the book.
Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission.
A PHENOMENOLOGICAL STUDY OF SELF-LOVE
W
This research was a phenomenological study of self-love in women’s
IE
experiences healing from bulimia. Feminist research methodology, interpretive
Eight women (mean age = 29.8 years) who reported that self-love is an aspect of
artwork and prose. Van Manen’s method for thematic analysis, Drew’s method
involved two sub-themes: (a) realizing one’s holistic self, and (b) awakening to
one’s spirit. Theme #2 involved 4 sub-themes: (a) journaling, (b) leaving home or
going away to college, (c) engaging in therapy, and (d) experiencing critical,
W
authenticity and existential human being. Self-love in healing was an experience
conduit to the soul. Findings were congruent with existential holistic perspectives
and therapeutic use o f self. Further study and research will contribute to the
refinement of these basic ideas, and to the development o f a fully matured model
W
B.A., Quinnipiac University, 1989
A Dissertation
Doctor o f Philosophy
at the
University of Connecticut
2001
Copyright 2001 by
Orbanic, Sheila Deyette
W
IE
EV
___ ®
PR
UMI
UMI Microform 3004850
Copyright 2001 by Bell & Howell Information and Learning Company.
All rights reserved. This microform edition is protected against
unauthorized copying under Title 17, United States Code.
W
IE
EV
PR
2001
Presented by
W
Sheila Deyette Orbanic, Ph.D.
IE
c
EV
Major Advisor
Peggy Chinn
IheuJ
PR
Associate Advisor
:y Di
Nancy %
Drew
Associate Advisor
Carol Polifroni
University of Connecticut
2001
ii
Though we have each lived, learned and loved in our own unique ways...
I feel that through this experience we have healed together. I love you. Mom.
I EW
EV
PR
iii
This page is perhaps the most difficult one to write. It marks the end of the
dissertation and my doctoral studies—a process and experience, which has shaped my
life by generating new purpose, meaning and the confidence to be who I am today, and
envision who I may become. In many respects, engaging in doctoral study served as a
provoking questions, pointing out both classic and contemporary literature, and lifting
W
weary spirits with their patience, comforting touch, perseverance and wisdom.
During these four years I did not just leam about concepts such as holism,
IE
feminism, authenticity, the patterns of knowing and theories of human being and
becoming, in many respects I lived them—that is how I know their meaning. The
EV
and humbled by this process, and I will be interminably grateful to the women— my
professors—who through their professional and personal example made this possible.
The women I speak o f with such sincere gratitude, admiration and respect are Drs.
Peggy Chinn, Carol Polifroni, Nancy Drew, Cheryl Beck and Henrietta Bemal. Thank
empowered, dedicated, and committed to your students and to nursing. These special
thoughts go to the members of my advisory committee: Peggy, you have taught the
beauty, meaning and purpose of aesthetics in nursing, of peace and power, and what it
iv
I was passionate about, and you never let me think that I could not complete the
dissertation within the relatively brief period of time I had given myself. I will always be
especially fond of this affirmation you voiced in class one spring day in 1998:“I trust that
I know what I need to know and I am who I need to be today. I trust in the process.” I
repeat that affirmation often and have shared it with other women in my life and practice.
responsibility and fortitude nursing scholarship requires, and how truly important it is to
“question the assumptions” that we have built our practice and knowledge upon. Carol I
W
also recall that very emotional and fretful semester when I questioned who I was,
Nancy Drew, over the years you have shared in, walked alongside and guided me
through this most recent leg of my academic and personal journey since the 1990s when
PR
we first met at St. Joseph College. You were then, and you remain a strong, warm and
and method, and to psychodrama as a personal and professional therapeutic tool useful
for facilitating self-awareness and healing. Thank you Nancy for your insight, guidance
and patience, particularly during data analysis! Thank you Nancy, for always
without the tireless efforts, patience, support and love of my family. I speak o f Shawn,
Deyette; and my precious son, Zachary, who is now seven. Through these years, which
have been marked by considerable triumphs and tribulations, exhaustion, exhilaration and
tears, each one of you have been there when I needed you...and even when I did not
know that I needed you! All of you, Mom, Shawn, Dad and Zachary were there in so
many unique and meaningful ways— I thank and love you all.
In closing I would also like to acknowledge one other person who has been and
remains so very meaningful to me, and that person is you, Carol Daisy. You are my
friend and my teacher. You were there at all hours and on any given day...you smiled at
W
me, laughed at me, frowned at me, listened to me, let me hug you when I needed to, and
teased me incessantly afterwards. I will always think o f you fondly...you too, made this
IE
journey possible, and I thank you.
EV
PR
vi
CHAPTER 1....................................................................................................................1
Bulimia...............................................................................................................5
W
Self-love in Healing and Bulimia Recovery...................................................8
IE
Conceptual Meaning of Key Term s...................................................................10
Personal Assumptions.....................................................................................14
CHAPTER I I .................................................................................................................17
and Well-being.................................................................................................25
vii
Research on Self-love.........................................................................................32
C onclusions......................................................................................................... 46
CHAPTER III............................................................................................................... 47
W
Origins of the Study............................................................................................ 48
Interpretive Phenomenology.......................................................................... 57
Sum m ary..............................................................................................................71
CHAPTER r v ..............................................................................................................73
Procedures............................................................................................................78
viii
Data Collection................................................................................................ 82
Data Analysis...................................................................
W
Conclusion...........................................................................................................112
CHAPTER V ...............................................................................................................114
IE
F indings: U nderstanding S elf-Love in H ealing .........................................114
EV
Experiences..................................................................................................... 127
Summary of Findings.........................................................................................167
CHAPTER V I .............................................................................................................169
ix
Research on Self-Love..................................................................................176
Literature........................................................................................................ 187
Nursing Education..........................................................................................197
W
Nursing Research...........................................................................................198
Conclusions........................................................................................................202
REFERENCES........................................................................................................... 206
U se of H u m a n S u b je c t s R e v ie w F o r m ............................................................ 220
L etter o f In t r o d u c t io n t o C o l l e a g u e s ........................................................221
C o n s e n t T o P a r t ic ip a n t in S t u d y F o r m ................................................................. 228
W
P a r t ic ip a n t D a t a S h e e t .....................................................................................230
IE
APPENDIX H ............................................................................................................ 232
EV
xi
in healing from bulimia. Self-love was defined at the outset of the study as self
acceptance, valuing self and an unconditional positive regard toward self. This chapter
includes the aim and motivation for the study, an introduction to the research
W
definitions pertinent to the study. Consistent with both feminist and interpretive
The aim of this study was to explore and understand women’s experiences of self-
PR
love in healing from bulimia. The phenomenon of interest was self-love in healing as
experienced by women who report recovery from bulimia. The research question
addressed by the inquiry is “W hat are women’s experiences o f self-love in healing from
bulimia?” Eight women, who reported that self-love was an aspect of their experience
while recovering from bulimia, participated individually in two research dialogues, which
media, such as music, artwork, and prose, to convey their experiences o f the research
phenomenon. Van Manen’s (1990) and Drew’s (2001) interpretive methods for
summaries of self-love in healing, and artwork, music and prose selected by participants.
W
heal from bulimia, women with whom I have worked during eight years o f advanced
expressed how utterly disconnected they felt from themselves. Women experienced a
powerful opposition to the notion o f loving themselves despite their ardent desire for
PR
inner peace, happiness and recovery. Women described feeling perplexed and expressed
their bewilderment when they realized that they could not feel a love toward self. Many
women had trouble even considering the possibility of self-love despite their insistence
that they deeply loved other people, just not themselves. In order to help women help
emotions, her inner being, spirituality or self-transcendence was not located. Through
professional practice and personal life experience, I came to believe that deeply personal
recovery support this professional and personal observation; that healing from bulimia
takes place on multiple levels of human perception and experiential sensations. Healing
from bulimia encompasses the entire way a woman feels about, envisions, cares for and
specializing in the treatment of women with eating disorders, I have observed the
W
recovering woman becomes more fully aware o f and in tune with her existential being,
she begins to value that sense of wholeness, well being and peace. As these perceptions,
IE
emotions and transformative experiences of self are realized and appreciated more fully,
the woman is motivated to live her life in ways that facilitate health, well being and
EV
recovery from bulimia. Self-love appears to be at least one significant aspect of women’s
transformative healing experiences but so little was understood about ontological self-
PR
love and more specifically women’s experiences of coming to know self-love in healing
from bulimia.
For example, where does healing energy come from? How is healing energy
replenished and from what source? These two questions both intrigued and concerned me
because women living bulimia, as I did for six years, perceive very little or no energy to
draw from. Based on my experiences in clinical practice, I posited that personal healing
energy might reside in the multi-dimensional and dynamic being of self-love. I believe
that for some women, healing from bulimia may lie less in the hands of science than it
does in a woman’s capacity and willingness to love self sincerely, deeply, wholly,
medical interventions and treatment modalities that reduce symptoms and change
thinking patterns. There has been very little scholarly attention given to research designed
to understand what subtle and remarkable phenomena transpire at the deepest levels of
this magnitude, one that may reside at both the core and apex of healing and well being.
W
Background and Significance
The background and significance of this study is presented in terms of the origins
IE
of the dominant Western view of self-love, the nature and prevalence of bulimia, the lack
at the very least mixed emotions, and at worst strong reactions from individuals who
1997; Gilligan, S. 1997; Fromm, 1956; Magno, 2000). Two factors, which have
contributed to this prevailing or dominant view of self-love, are the perspectives of the
ancient Greeks and the development o f Judeo-Christian ideology, both o f which have
shaped traditional Western medicine and psychology. Plato (428-348 BCE) for example,
admonished self-love and considered that the majority o f the human race were innately
selfish (Magno, 2000). St. Augustine (354-430 CE) spoke of the virtues o f selfless love
where all love that was noble and pure was that kind, which was felt toward another or
given to others. Selfless love and self-love were considered polar opposites— “a view that
dominates the hearts and minds o f men and women to his very day” (Magno, 2000, p. x).
sight of God, and to love ourselves in effect diverts love from God, who is considered the
ultimate source of all that is good and loving. In Chapter II- Literature Review the Judeo-
Christian perspective is discussed further and evidenced that there are some
contemporary Christian authors whom dispute longstanding biblical views that self-love
W
is synonymous with selfishness and an affront to God is also presented.
B u lim ia
IE
As many as 10% of females in the United States and an estimated 25% of college-
aged women (Harvard Mental Health Letter, 1997) live a relentlessly self-destructive,
EV
cyclical patterns of bingeing and purging inordinate quantities of food to lose or manage
PR
body weight. Purging most commonly involves self-induced vomiting, but it can also
include laxative, stimulant (ephedrine, caffeine, MaHuang Extract) and diuretic abuse, as
well as excessive exercising all in order to achieve weight loss or low weight
management. Lifetime prevalence o f bulimia nervosa among women ranges from 1.1% to
4.2% and the prevalence among children and adolescents is unknown (American Journal
of Psychiatry [AJP], 2000, p. 7). Bulimia affects 1-3% of middle and high school age
girls and 1-4% of college age women (Eating Disorders Awareness Prevention [EDAP],
2000). Ninety percent of bulimic individuals are female, the average duration o f illness is
3 to 5 years (Costin, 1997), and prognoses for full recovery range from 40 to 50% (Keel
anorexia nervosa, binge eating disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder (Academy for
Eating Disorders [AED], 1998; AJP, 2000). Bulimia nervosa is most commonly
associated with eating large quantities of food and self-inducing vomiting to minimize
calorie absorption and subsequent weight gain. People suffering from bulimia may also
use laxatives, diuretics, enemas, excessive exercise, enemas or syrup o f ipecac to rid the
W
body of calories and facilitate weight loss. There are also people who exhibit
purging activities, people with bulimia nervosa often experience “depressive, anxious,
EV
and impulsive symptoms as well as sexual conflicts, disturbances with intimacy” (AJP,
resentful, angry attacks on one’s own body out of masochistic/sadistic needs” (p. 7).
Recovery from bulimia presents a number of difficult challenges to both patients and
oppression of women (Maine, 2000; Shillito, 1993). Eating disorders, including bulimia
nervosa are fueled in part by the popular media’s emphasis on youthful appearance,
unnaturally low body weight (Streigel-Moore, Silberstein & Roden, 1986). In the United
States a male dominated media floods contemporary society with images of extremely
Impressionable youth, both male and female, are inundated with images of beautiful,
young, happy and thin people in magazines, music videos, film and other electronic
media. The degree to which an adolescent female believes that being fat is bad and that
W
being thin is good, the more at risk she will be to developing an eating disorder (Streigel-
Moore, Silberstein & Roden, 1986). It is notable that in order to preserve the desired
IE
muscular physique that is desirable for male modeling careers, men must eat healthy
balanced meals, exercise and get adequate rest. However, many female models must
EV
starve themselves to acquire and maintain the desired waif-like appearance. The
nutritional habits of female models sacrifice critically important nutrients, muscle mass,
PR
and bone density. Feminist perspectives on eating disorders (Fallon, Katzman & Wooley,
1994; Orbach, 1978; Steiner-Adair, 1986; Gilligan, 1982; Chemin, 1985) have begun to
explicate the complex relationships, which exist among women, disordered eating
adequately address medical consequences and symptoms, and to treat co-morbid illness,
specifically mood disorders (Keel, Mitchell, Miller, Davis & Crow, 1999). While