Chastity

Of all longings and desires none is stronger

than sex. Sex as a desire has no equal.
(Buddha)
 -1-

Look upon all the women of the world either as your mother, sister,
or daughter, so that you may make progress in your spiritual journey.
(Baba Sawan Singh)

From The Case for Chastity

(Russell Perkins, Sat Sandesh, Feb. 1972)

Perhaps the most difficult to keep of Master’s commandments, especially for

young men, is chastity. The society we live in is so permeated with sexuality,
and most of us have been surrounded since birth by so many people and so
much material inundated with unchaste preconceptions, that the concept of self-
restraint comes hard.

And yet, experience shows that the Master’s teachings on this subject are
grounded firmly both in spiritual necessity and in human nature. It does not take
us long to discover, if we are serious about the Path and our commitment to it,
that sexuality and inner experience are incompatible; and once we get past the
fears and prejudices that have been implanted in us by all segments of society,
and actually live for a while free from the addiction to sex, we begin to discover
for ourselves the peace and contentment that real chastity brings.

We have learned that the first step toward an honestly chaste life is intellectual
acceptance of the value of chastity. Since most of us have been assuming the
opposite for years, anything that goes to reinforce the concept in our minds is
helpful. And if we realize that the Master’s teaching is thoroughly and
completely in harmony with all Masters who have come as well as an
astonishing number of great men in all walks of life, we may perhaps feel more
secure in our own practice.

They say that woman is an enticement. No, No, she is not so.
They say that money is an enticement. No, No, it is not so.
They say that landed property is an enticement. No, No, it is not so.
The real enticement is the insatiable appetite of the mind,
O Lord Guheswara!
(Allama Prabhu, Vacana 91)
 -2-

Sexual Energy
(Ram Dass – from Be Here Now)

There are seven focal points of psychic energy in the body. These points are
called charkas. Each center is associated with a different vibrational expression
of the energy – from the first charka which works with the grossest form of this
energy to the seventh charka which works with the energy in its finest form.
Just as a personality profile can describe an individual’s dominant personality
characteristics, so a person can be described in terms of the charkas in which his
energy is received and dissipated.

There are certain labels which can be affixed to these charkas to define the
dominant concern of an individual whose primary energy expression is fixed at
that particular level. Thus the first charka is associated with survival, a jungle or
animal mentality. The second charka is associated with reproduction and sexual
gratification. The third charka concerns power and mastery. These three
charkas are the focal points for most of the energy presently used by man in his
worldly endeavors. These three charkas are primarily concerned with the use of
energy for the maintenance and enhancement of the ego.

It is only when we arrive at the fourth charka, the heart charka, that we enter into
a realm which starts to transcend the ego. This fourth charka is primarily
concerned with compassion. The fifth is concerned with the seeking of God.
The sixth (located between the eyebrows) is concerned with wisdom (the third
eye); and the seventh, with full enlightenment or union.

The spiritual path can be conceived, from an energy point of view, as the path
up the spine - that is, the movement and transformation of energy from the lower
to the higher charkas – the purification of energy. With this definition in mind,
it is apparent that any use of energy which further strengthens the hold, or
intensity, of the lower charkas interferes with the spiritual progress.

The experience and habits associated with lust are the domain of the second
charka. Freud was the master spokesman of the person who is fixated in the
second charka, just as Adler was the spokesman for the third charka, and
perhaps Jung the spokesman of the fourth.

In our Western culture there has been such an investment in the models of man
associated with the second and third charka (sex and power) that we have
developed strong and deeply held habits of perceiving the inner and outer
 -3-

universe in these terms. Though we may realize intellectually that the spiritual
journey requires the transformation of energy from these preoccupations to
higher centers, we find it difficult to override these strong habits which seem to
be reinforced by the vibration of the culture in which we live.

Thus it seems “normal” to have certain ego needs with regard to sex and power.
It is difficult for us to comprehend that what is normal for a second-chakra
preoccupied person is hardly normal for a fourth-chakra person.

A second-chakra person, as so well described by Freud, thinks of everything as

sexual in nature – a pencil is phallic, political power is sexual potency, etc.
Freud describes religion as subliminated sexuality. A third-chakra person sees it
all in terms of power or mastery. Even his sexual activity is seen in that light.

All “takes” of the Universe in terms of the first, second and third charka are
profane. That is, they maintain and enhance man’s illusion of separateness.
Every time you live out an act in terms (habits of thought) of a lower charka,
you strengthen the hold of that charka.
 -4-

Mahatma Gandhi
(From Sat Sandesh, February 1972)

Today our entire environment – our reading, our thinking, our social behavior –
is generally calculated to subserve and cater for the sex-urge. To break through
its coils is no easy task. But it is a task worthy of our highest endeavor.

Thus it is not proved to my satisfaction that sexual union in marriage is in itself

good and beneficial to the unionists. To the contrary effect I can bear ample
testimony from my own experience and that of many friends. I am not aware of
any of us having derived any benefit, mental, spiritual or physical. Momentary
excitement and satisfaction there certainly was. But it was invariably followed
by exhaustion. And the desire for union returned immediately after the effect of
exhaustion had worn out. Although I have always been a conscientious worker,
I can clearly recall the fact that this indulgence interfered with my work. It was
the consciousness of this limitation that put me on the track of self-restraint; and
I have no manner of doubt that the self-restraint is responsible for the
comparative freedom from illness that I have enjoyed for long periods and for
my output of energy and work, both physical and mental, which eye-witnesses
have described as phenomenal.

No, I must declare with all the power I can command that sensual attraction
even between husband and wife is unnatural. Marriage is meant to cleanse the
hearts of sordid passions and take them nearer to God. Lustless love between
husband and wife is not impossible. Man is not a brute. He has risen to a higher
state after countless births in brute creation. He is born to stand, not to walk on
all fours or crawl. Bestiality is as far removed from manhood as matter from
spirit.

I submit that marriage is a fence that protects religion. If the fence were to be
destroyed, religion would go to pieces. The foundation of religion is restraint,
and marriage is nothing but restraint. The man who knows no restraint has no
hope of self-realization…The body may be either a playground of passion or a
temple of self-realization. If it is the latter, there is no room there for
libertinism. The spirit needs must curb the flesh every moment.
 -5-

Human society is a ceaseless growth, an unfoldment in terms of spirituality. If

so, it must be based on ever-increasing restraint upon the demands of the flesh.
Thus, marriage must be considered to be a sacrament imposing discipline upon
the partners, restricting them to the physical union only between themselves and
for the purpose only of procreation when both the partners desire it and are
prepared for it.

If the married couple can think of each other as brother and sister, they are freed
for universal service. The very thought that all the women in the world are one’s
sisters, mothers or daughters will at once ennoble a man and snap his chains.
The husband and wife do not lose anything here, but only add to their resources
and even to their family. Their love becomes free from the impurity of lust and
so grows stronger. With the disappearance of this impurity, they can serve each
other better, and the occasions for quarrel become fewer. There are more
occasions for quarrel, where the love is selfish and bounded.

If the foregoing argument is appreciated, a consideration of the physical benefits

of chastity becomes a matter of secondary importance. How foolish it is
intentionally to dissipate vital energy in sensual enjoyment! It is a grave misuse
to fritter away for physical gratification that which is given to man and woman
for the full development of their bodily and mental powers. Such misuse is the
root cause of many a disease. Brahmacharya, like all other observances, must be
observed in thought, word and deed. We are told in the Gita, and experience
will corroborate the statement, that the foolish man, who appears to control his
body but is nursing evil thoughts in his mind, makes a vain effort. It may be
harmful to suppress the body, if the mind is at the same time allowed to go
astray. Where the mind wanders, the body must follow sooner or later.

It is necessary here to appreciate a distinction. It is one thing to allow the mind

to harbor impure thoughts; it is a different thing altogether if it strays among
them in spite of ourselves. Victory will be ours in the end, if we non-cooperate
with the mind in its evil wanderings.

We experience every moment of our lives that often while the body is subject to
our control, the mind is not. This physical control should never be relaxed, and
in addition we must put forth a constant endeavor to bring the mind under
control. We can do nothing more, nothing less. If we give way to the mind, the
body and the mind will pull different ways, and we shall be false to ourselves.
 -6-

Body and mind may be said to go together, so long as we continue to resist the
approach of every evil thought.

The observance of brahmacharya has been believed to be very difficult, almost

impossible. In trying to find a reason for this belief, we see that the term
brahmacharya has been taken in a narrow sense. Mere control of animal passion
has been thought to be tantamount to observing brahmacharya. I feel that this
conception is incomplete and wrong.

Brahmacharya means control of all the organs of sense. He who attempts to

control only one organ and allows all the others free play is bound to find his
effort futile. To hear suggestive stories with the ears, to see suggestive sights
with your eyes, to taste stimulating food with your tongue, to touch exciting
things with the hands, and then at the same time expect to control the only
remaining organ, is just like putting one’s hands in a fire and then expecting to
escape being burnt.

He, therefore, who is resolved to control the one must be likewise determined to
control the rest. I have always felt that much harm has been done by the narrow
definition of bramacharya. If we practice simultaneous self-control in all
directions, the attempt will be scientific and possible of success.
 -7-

Brahmacharya
Brahmacharya has two main meanings. In the broad sense it means control of
the senses. More specifically it refers to celibacy or chastity. Like all traditional
spiritual traditions, yoga advocates restraining from indulging in sensual
gratification.
One of the many reasons for the practice of brahmacharya is that practicing the
higher limbs of ashtanga yoga - dharana, dhyana, samadhi - requires a
tremendous amount of energy or prana. This energy is built up through the
practices of yoga but is dissipated during sensual enjoyment. Of all the sensual
activities, sex is the one that will be the most depleting to the psychic and
nervous system. Most people don't like to hear this but, like the other yamas,
everyone should practice brahmacharya to the best of their ability. It is a fact
that the more people gratify their senses, the less energy they have and the less
ability they have to meditate on the absolute.
Brachmacharya is considered one of the cornerstones of a serious yoga practice.
Many people mistakenly believe that practicing brahmacharya means
suppression of the natural sexual instincts. Suppression is not what is wanted,
because anything that is suppressed will eventually be released with redoubled
force when an opportunity arises, the will becomes weak or when sadhana
slackens.
The proper way to practice brahmacharya is to sublimate these natural urges into
Ojas by a strong yoga practice that includes meditation, asanas, pranayama, japa,
kirtan, satsang, and reading of scriptures or yogic texts. Contrary to some
popular ideas and incorrect psychological beliefs, celibacy improves health and
all aspects of life when practiced in the proper context.
It is worth noting that most religions place emphasis on brahmacharya,
considering it a higher state of religious practice, and have nuns and monks who
take vows of chastity. While not everyone wants to take vows and enter a
religious order, there are also guidelines for householders to practice
brahmacharya within their personal relationships.
Swami Sivananda recommends that for householders moderation should be
practiced. He recommends self-control in order to have one or two children who
are healthy and strong. He advocates living a more selfless life of charity,
goodness and kindness, including worship of God. Marriage should lead the
husband and wife upwards in the spiritual path towards a life of spiritual
partnership. When this is accomplished, much spiritual progress can be gained.
 -8-

Conservation of energy that comes from practicing celibacy is converted into

Ojas and Tejas (spiritual energy). There are many famous yogis and spiritual
leaders who were established in this yama. Some of them are Sankara, Jesus,
Gandhi, Hanuman, Lakshmana, and Bhishma from the Mahabharata. From their
practice of brahmacharya they had incredible amounts of energy, will-power and
thought-power to do great works for the world. There are many benefits to
health and spiritual life that come from the practice of brahmacharya.
It is beyond all doubt that a life of brahmacharya is glorious and marvelous. At
the same time, a life of moderation in the household life is equally good and
helpful for spiritual growth. Both have their own advantages. You must have
great strength to tread the path either way.
Practice of Brahmacharya gives good health, inner strength, peace of mind and
long life. It invigorates the mind and nerves. It helps to conserve physical and
mental energy. It augments memory, will force and brain power. It bestows
tremendous strength, vigor and vitality. Strength and fortitude are obtained. He
who is established in brahmacharya will have lustrous eyes, a sweet voice and a
beautiful complexion.
(http://yoga108.org/pages/show/96-brahmacharya-control-of-the-senses-or-chastity-one-of-
the-ethical-precepts-of-yoga)

Full of the deadly sins and tormented by lusts of the flesh I cry,
rescue me by Thy Grace, as best Thou may. 0 Great and
Compassionate One! I am at Thy mercy, with austerities and
penances one cannot escape, but with Thy glance of Grace,
take Nanak out of the blind well.
(Guru Arjan)

O Kam (lust), you land people in hell and make them wander through
many births, entices all minds, sways all the three worlds and undoes
one's meditation, austerities and restraint. The pleasure is ephemeral,
and you afflict high and low alike.
(Guru Arjan)
 -9-

The path of the Masters is diametrically opposed

to the path which the learned and the public follow.
(Baba Sawan Singh, Spiritual Gems, 188)

From The Case for Chastity - Part 2

(Jon Engle, Sat Sandesh, May 1972)

We who have been brought up with materially inclined natures have generally
had great misconceptions on the nature of chastity. As of late it is more often
than not associated with repression, religious fanaticism, etc.; and the notion that
it is a source of great calm and strength (of both mind and body) as well as a
tremendous joy within itself is all too quickly discarded. This misconceived
idea stems largely as a reaction to those who knew (or maybe only preached)
“physical chastity” but never attempted control over their minds. All of the
Masters and great men who emphasized chastity meant something far beyond
behavior when they spoke of it.
In the Gurmat Siddhant, the Great Master defines chastity as being: “…the
purity of mind, word, and deed. It does not simply mean control of sex organs.
It comprises control over all sense organs…This continence cannot be practiced
by control of the body. Continence should therefore be observed with mind,
speech and actions. If one controls the body but thinks of sensual pleasures, it is
harmful for the mind pushes the body in that direction…continence does not
mean that one should merely control his lust and sensual passions. It means
actually to withdraw oneself from all the sense desires.”

Baba Sawan Singh

 -10-

Pratyahara itself is termed as Yoga,

as it is the most important limb in Yoga Sadhana.
(Swami Shivananda)

Pratyahara
The term pratyahara is composed of two Sanskrit words, prati and ahara. Ahara
means "food," or "anything we take into ourselves from the outside." Prati is a
preposition meaning "against" or "away." Pratyahara means literally "control of
ahara," or "gaining mastery over external influences."

It is compared to a turtle withdrawing its limbs into its shell — the turtle’s shell
is the mind and the senses are the limbs. The term is usually translated as
"withdrawal from the senses," but much more is implied.

In yogic thought there are three levels of ahara, or food. The first is physical
food that brings in the five elements necessary to nourish the body. The second
is impressions, which bring in the subtle substances necessary to nourish the
mind — the sensations of sound, touch, sight, taste, and smell. The third level
of ahara is our associations, the people we hold at heart level who serve to
nourish the soul and affect us with the gunas of sattva, rajas, and tamas.

Pratyahara is twofold. It involves withdrawal from wrong food, wrong

impressions and wrong associations, while simultaneously opening up to right
food, right impressions and right associations. We cannot control our mental
impressions without right diet and right relationship, but pratyahara’s primary
importance lies in control of sensory impressions which frees the mind to move
within.

By withdrawing our awareness from negative impressions, pratyahara

strengthens the mind’s powers of immunity. Just as a healthy body can resists
toxins and pathogens, a healthy mind can ward off the negative sensory
influences around it. If you are easily disturbed by the noise and turmoil of the
environment around you, practice pratyahara. Without it, you will not be able to
meditate.
 -11-

Control of the Senses

Control of the senses is the most important form of pratyahara, although this is
not something that we like to hear about in our mass media-oriented culture.
Most of us suffer from sensory overload, the result of constant bombardment
from television, radio, computers, newspapers, magazines, books — you name it.
Our commercial society functions by stimulating our interest through the senses.
We are constantly confronted with bright colors, loud noises and dramatic
sensations. We have been raised on every sort of sensory indulgence; it is the
main form of entertainment in our society.

The problem is that the senses, like untrained children, have their own will,
which is largely instinctual in nature. They tell the mind what to do. If we don’t
discipline them, they dominate us with their endless demands. We are so
accustomed to ongoing sensory activity that we don’t know how to keep our
minds quiet; we have become hostages of the world of the senses and its
allurements. We run after what is appealing to the senses and forget the higher
goals of life. For this reason, pratyahara is probably the most important limb of
yoga for people today.

The old saying “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak” applies to those of us
who have not learned how to properly control our senses. Pratyahara gives us
the tools to strengthen the spirit and reduce its dependency on the body. Such
control is not suppression (which causes eventual revolt), but proper
coordination and motivation.

Right Intake of Impressions

Pratyahara centers on the right intake of impressions. Most of us are careful

about the food we eat and the company we keep, but we may not exercise the
same discrimination about the impressions we take in from the senses. We
accept impressions via the mass media that we would never allow in our
personal lives. We let people into our houses through television and movies that
we would never allow into our homes in real life! What kind of impressions do
we take in every day? Can we expect that they will not have an effect on us?
Strong sensations dull the mind, and a dull mind makes us act in ways that are
insensitive, careless, or even violent.
 -12-

According to Ayurveda, sensory impressions are the main food for the mind.
The background of our mental field consists of our predominant sensory
impressions. We see this when our mind reverts to the impressions of the last
song we heard or the last movie we saw. Just as junk food makes the body toxic,
junk impressions make the mind toxic. Junk food requires a lot of salt, sugar, or
spices to make it palatable because it is largely dead food; similarly junk
impressions require powerful dramatic impressions — sex and violence — to
make us feel that they are real, because they are actually just colors projected on
a screen.
We cannot ignore the role sensory impressions play in making us who we are,
for they build up the subconscious and strengthen the tendencies latent within it.
Trying to meditate without controlling our impressions pits our subconscious
against us and prevents the development of inner peace and clarity.
(www.abuddhistlibrary.com)

The willingness or unwillingness to withdraw attention from sensory

experience is a significant dividing line between those who experience
true meditation and those who experience only physical relaxation.
(http://swamij.com/yoga-sutras-25455.htm)

Anandmayi Maa
 -13-

You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the
courage - pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically –
to say “no” to other things. And the way to do that
is by having a bigger “yes” burning inside.
(Stephen Covey)

Sant Kirpal Singh

Inordinate love of the flesh is cruelty,

because under the appearance of pleasing the body we kill the soul.
(Saint Bernard of Clairvaux)

What a mistake to suppose that the passions are strongest in youth.

The passions are not stronger, but the control over them is weaker.
(Edward Bulwer-Lytton)
 -14-

Paramhansa Yogananda
Wine (intoxicants), sex, and money: these are the three great delusions. Don’t
be trapped by them. Some of you are weak, I know, but don’t be discouraged.
Meditate regularly, and you will find a joy inside that is real. You will then have
something you can compare to sense pleasures. That comparison will
automatically make you want to forsake your sorrow-producing bad habits. The
best way to overcome temptation is to have something more fulfilling to
compare it with. Sex seems pleasant to you now, but when you discover the joy
of real inner union, you will see how much more wonderful that is.
(Conversations with Yogananda, 172)

When sex temptation comes, say to yourself, “Lord, Your power is manifesting
in me. I will use it to grow stronger in myself, and to create through proper
channels.” Then inhale, tense; exhale and relax. Repeat that several times.
Don’t let the frogs of weakness kick you around! The more you control sex, the
more powerful you will become in every way, but if you declare weakly, “Oh, I
have to spill it,” you will enslave yourself for life. The more you give in, the
less you will be able to free yourself from the meshes of delusion.
(Conversations with Yogananda, 303)
 -15-

Remember, it is Divine Mother who tests you through sex. And it is She also
who blesses, when you pass Her test.
As soon as the first thought of sex enters the mind, that is the time to catch it.
However tempting it seems now, once you are out of it you will see that it is the
greatest delusion. (Conversations with Yogananda, 282)

Sri Das, a man from India, was commissioned by Yoganadna to teach on his
behalf. Sri Das had a weakness, however: he was inordinately fond of women.
The Master often scolded him for this shortcoming. Yogananda worked with
him to help him overcome his tendency to view women as all that different from
men, when the difference was only biological. Yogananda said to the man,
“What you find attractive are only the grossly physical differences. You demean
not only them, but yourself, when you view women in that way. Learn to see
everybody as a soul. No one is his or her mere body!”
(Conversations with Yogananda, 73)
 -16-

Why is lustfulness a sin? Because lust is counterfeit love. It takes one in the
opposite direction from the fulfillment that is found in true love. True love is
divine. It is self-giving, never selfish.
The lustful man, in seeking his own pleasure of others, loses power, even while
deluding himself that he is gaining it. He cuts himself off from soul-joy, even
while imagining that he has attained the happiness he craves. He succeeds only,
in the end, in creating disharmony within himself and in others.
Harmony is the way of love. Disharmony is the way of self-affirmation. The
lustful person loses his health, his peace of mind, and the very fulfillment he
imagines himself to be finding. He becomes increasingly tired and nervous, and
grows prematurely old, all because he denied divine love, the source of true and
lasting well-being. (The Essence of Self-Realization, 51)

The soul cannot find its lost happiness in material things for the simple reason
that the comfort they offer is counterfeit. Having lost contact with divine bliss
within, man hopes to satisfy his need for it in the pseudo-pleasures of the senses.
On deeper levels of his being, however, he remains aware of his former,
supernal state in God. True satisfaction eludes him, for what he seeks, while
rushing restlessly from one sense pleasure to another, is his lost happiness in the
Lord.
Ah, blindness! How long must you continue before, suffering from satiety,
boredom, and disgust, you seek joy within, where alone it can be found?”
(The Essence of Self-Realization, 6)

The true purpose of life is to know God. Worldly temptations were given you to
help you develop discrimination: will you prefer sense pleasures, or will you
choose God? Pleasures seem alluring at first, but if you choose them, sooner or
later you will find yourself enmeshed in endless troubles and difficulties.
Loss of health, of peace of mind, and of happiness is the lot of everyone who
succumbs to the lure of sense pleasures. Infinite joy, on the other hand, is yours
once you know God.
Every human being will have, eventually, to learn this great lesson of life.
(The Essence of Self-Realization, 8, 9)
 -17-

The world is the design of Kal and Maya, the negative forces.
To keep the soul down, they based the structure of the world
on couples, man and woman.
(Sawan Singh, Spiritual Gems, letter 24)

The Temptation of Saint Anthony

Delaroche – 1832

All cultures are respectful and fearful of sexual desire because of the unique
strength of this passion and because of the emotional and biological powers it
unleashes, and all societies struggle to channel and control it. Our own society
seems to be experimenting to determine the absolute minimum level of taboo
and control we can retain and still survive. (Jill Haak Adels)

If you spent one-tenth of the time you devoted to distractions

like chasing women or making money to spiritual practice,
you would be enlightened in a few years.
(Ramakrishna to a disciple)
 -18-

Saint Augustine
As a youth I had been woefully at fault, particularly in early adolescence. I had
prayed to you for chastity and said, “Give me chastity and continence, but not
yet.” For I was afraid that you would answer my prayer at once and cure me too
soon of the disease of lust, which I wanted satisfied, not quelled.

My will was perverse and lust had grown from it, and when I gave in to lust
habit was born, and when I did not resist the habit it became necessity. These
were the links which together formed what I have called my chain, and it held
me fast in the duress of servitude.

Out of a forward will lust had sprung; and lust pampered had become custom;
and custom indulged had become necessity. These were the links of the chain;
this is the bondage in which I was bound.

So did my two wills, one new, the other old, one spiritual, the other carnal,
fight within me and by their discord undo my soul.
 -19-

The Erotic Instinct

Carl Jung

The erotic instinct is something questionable and will always be so whatever

laws may have to say on the matter. It belongs, on the one hand, to the original
animal nature of man, which will exist as long as man has an animal body. On
the other hand, it is connected with the highest forms of the spirit. But it blooms
only when spirit and instinct are in true harmony. If one or the other aspect is
missing, then an injury occurs; there is a one-sided lack of balance which easily
slips into the pathological. Too much of the animal disfigures the civilized
human-being, too much culture makes for a sick animal.

Love pursues the good of the other, with self-control, concern, reason, and
patience. Lust pursues its own gratification, headlong, impatient of any control,
immune to reason. (Simon Blackburn)

It is difficult to overcome one's passions, and it is impossible to satisfy them.

(Marquerite De la Sabiere)

Desires go on increasing and burning more fiercely as they are fed. The more
you yield to desire, the more dominant it becomes in your life. It does not
matter the desire – the more you try to satisfy desire, the more you become
captivated and enslaved by it. (Ramana Maharshi)

Once, when Rabbi Pinhas entered the House of Study, he saw that his disciples,
who had been talking busily, stopped at his coming. He asked them:
“What were you talking about?”
“Rabbi,” they said, “we were saying how afraid we are that the ‘Evil Urge’
will pursue us.”
“Don't worry,” he replied. “You have not gotten high enough for it to pursue
you. For the time being, you are still pursuing it.”
 -20-

Lust or Loneliness
(Jack Kornfield, A Path with Heart, 108)

In my earliest practice as a celibate monk I had long bouts of lust and images of
sexual fantasy. My teacher said to name them, which I did. But they often
repeated. “Accept this?” I thought. “But then they’ll never stop.” But still I
tried it. Over days and weeks these thoughts became even stronger. Eventually,
I decided to expand my awareness to see what other feelings were present. To
my surprise I found a deep well of loneliness almost every time the fantasies
arose. It wasn’t all lust, it was loneliness, and the sexual images were ways of
seeking comfort and closeness. But they kept arising. Then I noticed how hard
it was to let myself feel the loneliness. I hated it; I resisted it. Only when I
accepted this very resistance and gently held it all in compassion did it begin to
subside. By expanding my attention, I learned that much of my sexuality had
little to do with lust, and as I brought an acceptance to the feeling of loneliness,
the compulsive quality of the fantasies gradually diminished.

In Buddhist psychology, the instructions for thought transformation are very

explicit. The Buddha instructs his followers, “Like a skilled carpenter who
removes a coarse peg by knocking it out with a fine one, so a person removes a
pain-producing thought by substituting a beautiful one.” The carpenter’s peg is
a practical description of how we can remove unhealthy thoughts by
substitution. What is required is the selection of a helpful substitute and
repeated practice. Repetition is key. (Jack Kornfield, The Wise Heart, 301)
 -21-

Gautama Buddha
In response to this appeal, the Blessed One addressed the assembly: Ananda has
just requested me to teach how to arrange a True Altar of Enlightenment to
which sentient beings of this last kalpa may come for deliverance and protection.
Listen carefully as I explain it to you.

Ananda and all in this assembly! In explaining to you the rules of the Vinaya
(discipline), I have frequently emphasized three good lessons, namely, 1) the
only way to keep the Precepts is first to be able to concentrate the mind; 2) by
keeping the Precepts you will be able to attain Samadhi; 3) by means of
Samadhi one develops intelligence and wisdom. Having learned these three
good lessons, one has gained freedom from the intoxicants and hindrances.

Ananda, why is concentration of mind necessary before one can keep the
Precepts? And why is it necessary to keep the Precepts before one can rightly
practice dhyana (meditation) and attain Samadhi? And why is the attainment of
Samadhi necessary before one may attain true intelligence and wisdom?

Let me explain this to you. All sentient beings in all the six realms of existence
are susceptible to temptations and allurements. As they yield to these
temptations and allurements, they fall into and become fast bound to the
recurring cycles of deaths and rebirths. Being prone to yield to these
temptations and allurements, one must, in order to free himself from their
bondage and their intoxication, concentrate his whole mind in a resolution to
resist them to the uttermost. The most important of these allurements are the
temptations to yield to sexual thoughts, desires and indulgence, with all their
following waste and bondage and suffering. Unless one can free himself from
this bondage and these contaminations and exterminate these sexual lusts, there
will be no escape from the following suffering, nor hope of advancement to
enlightenment and peacefulness. No matter how keen you may be mentally, no
matter how much you may be able to practice dhyana, no matter to how high a
degree of apparent Samadhi you may attain, unless you have wholly annihilated
all sexual lusts, you will ultimately fall into the lower realms of existence. In
these lower Mara realms of existence there are three ranks of evil ones: the Mara
king, evil demons, and female fiends, and all of them have each his and her own
double who disguise themselves as “angels of light” who have attain supreme
Enlightenment.
 -22-

After my Parinirvana, in the last Kalpa of this world, there will be plenty of
these kinds of evil spirits everywhere. Some of them will beset you openly with
avarice and concupiscence and others of them will pose as holy and learned
masters. No one will escape their machinations to lure them into the swamps of
defilement and thus to lose the Path to Enlightenment. Therefore, Ananda, and
all of you, should persistently teach the people of this world to attain perfect
concentration of mind, so that they may be able to practice dhyana successfully
and attain Samadhi. This is the clear teaching of all the Blessed Buddhas of the
past, and it is my instruction at the present, and it will be the instruction of all
Tathagatas of the future.
Therefore, Ananda, a man who tries to practice dhyana without first attaining
control of his mind is like a man trying to bake bread out of a dough made of
sand; bake it as long as he will, it will only be sand made a little hot. It is the
same with sentient beings, Ananda. They can not hope to attain Buddhahood by
means of an indecent body. How can they hope to attain the wonderful
experience of Samadhi out of bawdiness? If the source is indecent, the outcome
will be indecent; there will ever be a return to the never-ending recurrence of
deaths and rebirths. Sexual lusts leads to multiplicity; control of mind and
Samadhi leads to enlightenment and the unitive life of Buddhahood.
Multiplicity leads to strife and suffering; control of mind and dhyana leads to the
blissful peace of Samadhi and Buddhahood.
Inhibition of sexual thoughts and annihilation of sexual lusts is the path to
Samadhi, and even the conception of inhibiting and annihilating must be
discarded and forgotten. When the mind is under perfect control and all
indecent thoughts excluded, then there may be a reasonable expectation for the
Enlightenment of the Buddhas. Any other teaching than this is but the teaching
of the evil Maras. This is my first admonition as to keeping the Precepts.
(The Surangama Sutra, A Buddhist Bible, pp. 262-64; Sat Sandesh, 2/72)

Of all the worldly passions, lust is the most intense.

All other worldly passions seem to follow in its train.
 -23-

Society drives people crazy with lust and calls it advertising.

(John Lahr)

Living with lust is like living shackled to a lunatic.

(Simon Blackburn)

But I say unto you, that whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her
has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
(Jesus Christ)

Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
(Jesus Christ)

Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.
(Jesus Christ)
 -24-

Sant Kirpal Singh

I was just speaking about the chastity of life, which is the most important part of
the spiritual life. Spirituality cannot dawn on a mind which is driven or attracted
through the outgoing faculties to the outward enjoyments. Out of the five
outgoing faculties of eyes, ears, nose, touch and taste, three are most powerful.
Lust attacks us eighty percent through the eyes, fourteen percent through the
ears and the remaining six percent mainly through touch. So how to maintain
chastity? that's the point. You have just to control your attention. The mind and
outgoing faculties derive their power from the soul, and the outward expression
of the soul is the attention. So if our attention is riveted at the center of the soul
in the body and we make the best use of the outgoing faculties, we will not be
affected by what we see or hear.
You might be looking at somebody but you need not be doing so with your full
consciousness, even with your open eyes. Somebody might be relating long
stories of vicious things to you. If you control your attention, even with your
open ears you won't hear. (http://www.ruhanisatsangusa.org/mt/chastity.htm)

Two very powerful forces are anger and lust. They rule over everything. If the
attention dwells on lust, the soul falls very low; in anger, the ego expands. The
soul cannot be linked with Naam until it withdraws inwardly and rises above the
senses. Our attention has instead become like an image of the mind. We want
to enjoy all the low, worldly things, yet we say we want the highest thing of all -
the Nectar of Life! It is all wrong - how far do we think we will go? Do one
thing at a time; but do not remain under this false impression. One Saint says,
“Where there is Naam, there is no kam (lust) - where there is kam there is no
Naam.” Two cannot remain at once - light and darkness.
(www.ruhanisatsangusa.org/listen.htm)

The delusion of the world affects us through the outgoing faculties of senses.
When you start transcending the sensuous level, you would experience higher
bliss on the inner planes. Then you will no longer be troubled by the lusts of the
flesh and will be like an air-conditioned room that remains cool irrespective of
the external temperature. (http://www.ruhanisatsangusa.org/grand-delusion.htm)
 -25-

This is the main thing. "He who is affected by passions cannot obtain
liberation." This is what Shankaracharya said. Not one, but each religion says
so. We belong to one religion or the other; but we don't follow its teaching.
"Fascination with the body is a great debt for him who is seeking liberation." I
am quoting you these things from the scriptures. These aren't my words. They
are there in whichever religion you belong to. Chinese philosophy tells us, "To
be guileless and pure: this is the way to nourish the spirit. When lust and desires
are deep, the springs of the heavenly are shallow." What more do you want
them to tell you? What are we doing? These things are given great stress, but
we people don't care. That's the pity. Buddha says: "I proclaim the annihilation
of lust. I teach the doing away with lust. Nirvana means the subsiding of all
human passions. When inner fires of lust are extinguished, then one enters into
the Nirvana. This is the lesson of lessons." (ruhanisatsangusa.org/lust.htm)

Param Sant Kirpal Singh, 1894-1974

 -26-

You may go on meditating all through your life, but unless you practice chastity
and forgiveness, it will not bear any fruit. (ruhanisatsangusa.org/chaste.htm)

You enjoy outside and unless you get more blissful enjoyment inside you cannot
withdraw from outside. (ruhanisatsangusa.org/lok/first see.htm)

One cannot possibly forsake the lusts of the flesh unless one comes to know by
actual contrast, the real happiness in the life of the spirit which comes about by
communion with the holy Word. (ruhanisatsangusa.org/guru-means.htm)

The mind is a lover of enjoyments, and in the Naam there is the Maha Ras - the
most delectable Nectar one can ever taste. If only the mind would take one true
sip, it would never again yearn for lower enjoyments.
(ruhanisatsangusa.org/listen.htm)

So long as it (mind) does not take pleasure in the internal music, it must fly out
to worldly pleasures. (The Teachings of Kirpal Singh, v. 2, 22)

Mind is accustomed to roam about externally through ages. Unless it is offered

something more joyous within, it cannot be controlled.
(The Teachings of Kirpal Singh, v.1, 8)

Even a little intoxication derived from steady daily practice will start to erase the
taste for outer pleasures. (ruhanisatsangusa.org/thief of.htm)

When you come in contact with Light and Sound Power within, you have not to
adopt any virtues, but everything, all virtues, will come within you of
themselves. (ruhanisatsangusa.org/lok/occupied.htm)
 -27-

The work ahead of us is to earn the Naam. It should dwell in our hearts so much
in evidence that it becomes apparent in us. We should be molded in it. It should
be manifested inside and outside. The outcome of this will be when you become
as the Shabd, humility will banish all lust, anger, and ego. Having the Nectar of
Life, all taste for small things will fade away. (ruhanisatsangusa.org/jewel.htm)

Who can rise above body consciousness? One who is unattached and is not
engrossed in sensual pleasures can do it. (ruhanisatsangusa.org/chaste.htm)

One should be very cautious to avoid falling into carnal enjoyments as that
darkens the inner vision. (Spiritual Elixir, 146)

With the Satguru’s mercy one gets a little connection with the Light and Sound
Principle, but if the life is not kept pure and chaste, the curtain of darkness will
obscure the Light again. (ruhanisatsangusa.org/listen.htm)

One must rise above all enjoyments and not be ruled by greed and lust, for while
one remains under their influence no real progress can be made.
(ruhanisatsangusa.org/re_mind.htm)

Unfortunately, very few people have the right understanding as to the

importance of maintaining the chastity of life. It is because man is not chaste
that he is under the domination of other vices such as anger, greed and
attachment. If he were to control his sensual appetite, the other vices would
gradually drop away. So chastity is the key not only to the spiritual life but also
to success in every other field of endeavor. (Letters to N.Y. initiates, part 11)

Unless you live a pure, chaste life -- as enjoined in the booklet "Seven Paths to
Perfection" -- you will not unfold the spiritual side of your nature that is at
present lying dormant within you. (Letters to N.Y. initiates, part 6)
 -28-

Opposite sex has much strong hold amongst one another when the charm and
attraction involved is too much to be resisted. This results in gradual infatuation
and bondage. A slight slip can cause much havoc when the dear ones are hurled
down in the abysmal of sensual gratification. Divine love and sex are quite
opposing poles. Sex is not only sinful, but a serious impediment on the Holy
Path. It is by long cultivation when one can expect some degree of success in
living a clean chaste life. (Letters to N.Y. initiates, part 4)

It would not be advisable to live together as husband and wife by the initiates
unless they are legally married. It amounts to adultery.
(Letters to N.Y. initiates, part 10)

The fake allurements of sensual gratification usually end in frustration. Carnal

desires are seldom satiated by indulgence. Spiritual discipline and renunciation
of stumbling impediments by careful consideration, preceded by repentance, is
helpful for spiritual progress. Infatuation breeds indulgence, whereas abstinence
and renunciation bring in serenity and sobriety. You should know it for certain
that mind is a very useful servant but a very bad master. It is the good grace of
the Master that child disciple is reminded by the gracious Master Power working
overhead to follow the right course and those who abide by His instructions are
blessed with success in evading the temptations, and this monkey mind
cooperates with them for their spiritual progress. Contrarily, who fall a prey to
the allurements and unheed the divine counsel are hurled down into the abysmal
of degradation, and the same mind runs wild in that direction. So you
understand the basic necessity of following the sacred impulse from the gracious
Master Power in entertaining sublime thoughts. (Letters to N.Y. initiates, part 4)
 -29-

Chastity is life and sexuality is death. While I sympathize with you in your
present situation with your husband, you should continue to meet with your
obligations in as detached a manner as is possible - you should inform him on
your own behalf in a loving manner that the vital fluid which he loses each time
is extremely harmful not only for his spiritual and mental health, but also to his
physical health. If, however, he cannot stop all at once, he should in his own
interests try and practice more self restraint. With your loving help and
cooperation, he will be successful in this and to some extent, safeguard his
physical health. Your advice to make use of the _____ was appropriate. The
body is the temple of God and should be made a fitting instrument to manifest
the God in man and not be degraded to the practice of sensual pleasures.
(Letters to N.Y. initiates, part 11)
 -30-

Is it psychologically possible for the human mind to detach itself completely

from its normal field of experience without first anchoring itself in another and
higher one? It is a universal characteristic of man that he seeks kinship with
something other than himself. This is the law of his life and source of all his
great achievements. The child is bound to his toys, and the adult to family and
society. As in the case of a child, you may not without harm deprive him of his
playthings until he has outgrown them psychologically, likewise to expect the
sadhak to give up his social and family attachments without first outgrowing
them by discovering something greater and larger, is to cut at the root of life. It
will not bring progress but regression, for the man who undertakes it as an
enforced discipline only succeeds in repressing his natural desires. The result is
not the enhancement of consciousness but its numbing and atrophy, not
detachment but indifference. (The Crown of Life, Chapter 5)
 -31-

Hazur Baba Sawan Singh

Nam and Kam are two of the vernacular terms used in our literature. Nam
means 'Word' or 'Sound Current', and Kam ordinarily means lust or passion or
indulgence in the sensual desires as opposed to self-control; but in its wide sense,
it means all out-ward tendencies of the mind. Nam and Kam are, therefore,
opposed to one another. The tendency of Naam is towards the inlet pipe to a
reservoir and Kam leads to the outlet pipe. The reservoir may be filled if the inlet
pipe is large and the outlet pipe is small. But it cannot remain filled if the outlet is
wide open or even leaking. And the sooner the outlet is stopped, the faster the
reservoir will be filled.

Now, take Pinda or the physical body as the reservoir. So long as the attention is
at the eye focus, it is filling, but when the attention is running below the eye focus,
it is leaking. And the lower the attention below the focus, the faster it is leaking.
The sensual center is located very low; therefore, playing of the attention on this
center causes an enormous leakage, and there is a considerable amount of
dissipation of energy. Nobody feels happier after the act of dissipation. That act
is a happy act if it leaves you happier. Kabir compares Naam and Kam to day and
night, respectively. Day and night do not go together. If there is day, then there is
no night; and if there is night, then there is no day. If attention is given to Naam,
there is no Kam, and if it is given to Kam, there is no Naam. The same idea of
reservoir and inlet and outlet pipes may be extended to Anda and Brahmanda.

The world is the design of Kal and Maya, the negative forces. To keep the soul
down, they based the structure of the world on couples, man and woman. If both
man and woman were to catch the Sound of Naam and rise up, both would be free.
Here, one holds down the other. And because we have not seen the other side of
the whole picture, we take our present existence and our surroundings as the
normal affair. Strictly speaking, we are living an abnormal life. Soul combined
with mind and matter is an abnormality. Soul, the queen of royal blood, enjoying
the company of servants and sweepers is an abnormality.

By holding the attention at the eye focus, we are to fill the Pinda reservoir. By
holding it at Trikuti, we are to fill the Anda reservoir. And by holding it at Sach
Khand, we are to fill the Brahmanda reservoir. If leakage, wide or narrow, is
permitted then the filling is delayed or perhaps may never even be up to the Pinda
level.
 -32-

The law admits of no exceptions. The longing for Naam means turning your back
on Kam. Turning your face to one means turning your back to the other. Saints
find human nature weak. They make it strong, step by step. They attach the
individual to Naam and, slowly and slowly, as longing for Naam develops, the
tendencies toward kam diminish.

To rise up is a slow process, but to fall from a height is sudden. Kam is a sudden
fall of attention…Whenever Naam will become tasteful, kam will disappear.
There is no other way of controlling kam. Raising the focus of attention
automatically subdues kam. (Spiritual Gems, letter 24)

Hazur Baba Sawan Singh, 1859-1949

If you waste your energies in sex enjoyment, you cannot progress spiritually.
(Spiritual Gems, 95)
 -33-

Outward beauty, loveliness of form, charm of personality, whether it is yours or

possessed by another, is of no lasting worth. Be not allured by this false show.
Be not deluded by these transitory qualities. Handsome or ugly, fair or dark,
delicate or coarse, exquisite or plain in appearance, all the forms that you behold
are born of dust. They are dolls of clay. They are fleeting forms that will soon
vanish and be no more. They are exactly like garments that we have purchased
at the vanity-fair of this world, but which have to be discarded before we depart.
Your aim in life should be to transcend them. (Discourses on Sant Mat, 288, 289)

It is only a really brave person who can refuse sensual pleasures when they are
easily available. (Spiritual Gems, 23)

There is no entry within as long as there is no chastity of thought and action.

(The Dawn of Light, 165)

So long as the student has no control over his mind and is a slave of his senses,
he can get nothing even if he sits in meditation for eight hours every day.
(Discourses on Sant Mat, 46)

Overcoming and giving up outward tendencies, stilling the mind and dying
while alive is not easy. The inner gate opens only when the outer gates are
closed. There is no other way to get in. People wish to continue to run out
through the outer gates and also wish to get into the inner. This is impossible.
Two things cannot happen at the same time. One is to be given up to achieve the
other. (The Dawn of Light, 212)

We are constantly beset by five foes - passion, anger, greed, worldly

attachments, and vanity. All these must be mastered, brought under control.
You can never do that entirely until you have the aid of the Guru and are in
harmonic relations with the Sound Current. But you can begin now, and every
effort will be a step on the way. (Spiritual Gems, 339)
 -34-

With the longing to go within and the hearing of the Sound Current becoming
tasteful, the indulgence or play in sex decreases and ultimately becomes hateful,
and is automatically given up, like other bad habits, such as anger, greed and so
forth. (Spiritual Gems, 317)

To overcome kam and krodh (lust and anger) is real bravery. It is not a small
achievement. So many rishis and munis of old lost the battle. What is the use if
you go on scouring and cleaning a vessel, and put nothing in it? That is, the way
to salvation or liberation lies in not only avoiding kam and krodh, but also in
devoting yourself to Naam bhakti (spiritual practice). Man has within himself
whole continents, universes, and God himself, but only when he practices Naam
devotedly, can he realize this. (Spiritual Gems, 19)
 -35-

Ramakrishna
Mad! That’s the word. One must become mad with love in order to realize God.
But that love is not possible if the mind dwells on “woman and gold.” Sex life
with a woman! What happiness is there in that? The realization of God gives
ten million times more happiness. Gauri used to say that when a man attains
ecstatic love of God all the pores of the skin, even the roots of the hair, become
like so many sexual organs, and in every pore the aspirant enjoys the happiness
of communion with the Atman. (The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, p. 346)

Ramakrishna to Mahima: What I said about aspirants practicing continence is

true. Without chastity one cannot assimilate these teachings.
Once a man said to Chaitanya, “You give the devotees so much instruction.
Why don’t they make much progress?” Chaitanya said, “They dissipate their
powers in the company of women. That is why they cannot assimilate spiritual
instruction. If one keeps water in a leaky jar, the water escapes little by little
through the leak.” (The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, p. 414)
 -36-

Rumi
Little by little God takes away human beauty: little by little the sapling withers.
Go recite, “To whomever we give a length of days, we also cause them to
decline.” Seek the spirit; don’t set your heart on bones!

Fiery lust is not diminished by indulging it, but inevitably by leaving it

ungratified. As long as you are laying logs on the fire, the fire will burn.
When you withhold the wood, the fire dies, and God carries the water!

Although your desire tastes sweet, doesn’t the Beloved desire you to be
desireless? The life of lovers is in death: you will not win the Beloved’s heart
unless you lose your own.

People fancy they are enjoying themselves, but they are really tearing out their
wings for the sake of an illusion.

Don’t allow your animal nature to rule your reason.

 -37-

Everything, except love of the most beauteous God, even though outwardly it
seems as pleasant as eating sweets, is in reality an agony of spirit. What is
meant by agony of spirit? It is to advance toward physical death without
drinking the Water of Life.

For the lovers of God, He alone is the source of all joy and sorrow. He alone is
the true object of desire; every other kind of love is idle infatuation. Love for
God is that flame which, when it blazes, burns away everything except God.
Love for God is a sword which cuts down all that is not of God. God alone is
eternal; all else will vanish.

When the heart becomes whole, it will know the flavors of falsehood and truth.
When Adam’s greed for the forbidden fruit increased, it robbed his heart of
health. Discernment flies from one who is drunken with desire. He who puts
down that cup lightens the inner eye, and the secret is revealed.

I know there is a gold mine in you, when you find it the wonderment of the
earth’s gifts you will lay aside as naturally as does a child a doll.

Brother, stand the pain! Escape the poison of your impulses!

Beware! Don’t allow yourself to do what you know is wrong, relying on the
thought, “Later I will repent and ask God’s forgiveness.”

Your tastes have become refined.

It used to be if someone stole all your coins or locked your
sexual pleasures in a room you could not reach this world would have no
meaning and a thirst for a hemlock brew might arise.
But that was many lives ago. Now look at yourself:
You are often still a mess though these days, at times,
you weep because you miss Him.
(Hafiz)
 -38-

Your lower, hellish nature tries to lead you into temptation,

but you have struggled hard and now your soul is full of purity.
You have quenched the fires of lust for God’s sake, and they have
been transformed into the light of guidance. The fire of anger has
turned to forbearance, the darkness of ignorance to knowledge, the fire
of greed to unselfishness, and the thorns of envy to the roses of love.
You have extinguished these fires for the love of God, and converted
your fiery nature into a verdant orchard. The nightingales of the
remembrance and glorification of God sing sweetly in the garden of
your heart. Answering the call of God, you have brought the water
of the spirit into the blazing hell of your soul.
(Rumi)
 -39-

You imagined that you would accomplish this task through your own
strength, activity, and effort. This is the rule that has been established:
expend everything you have in journeying on the Way. Then the
bounty will come to you. On this endless road, you are commanded to
travel with your own feeble hands and feet. God knows that you
cannot traverse this Way with feet so feeble. Indeed, in a hundred
thousand years you will not arrive at the first way station. However,
when you travel this road until your legs are exhausted and you fall
down flat, until you have no more strength to move forward,
then God’s grace will take you in its arms.
(Rumi)
 -40-

The Problem of Sex

Meher Baba

Sex is decidedly one of the most important problems with which the human
mind is confronted in the domain of duality. It is one of the “givens” in the
make-up of human nature with which one has to deal. Like everything else in
human life, sex comes to be considered through the opposites which are the
necessary creations of the limited mind. Just as the mind tries to fit life into a
scheme of alternatives such as joy or pain, good or bad, solitude or company,
attraction or repulsion, so in relation to sex it tends to think of indulgence and
repression as alternatives from which there is no escape. It seems as if man
must accept the one alternative or the other. Yet he cannot whole-heartedly
accept either, for when he tries repression he is dissatisfied with his lot and
longingly thinks of indulgence. When he tries indulgence he becomes conscious
of his bondage to the senses and seeks freedom by going back to mechanical
repression. The mind remains dissatisfied with both alternatives and there thus
arises one of the most vital and complicated problems of human life.

In order to solve the problem of sex, the mind must first understand that both
alternatives are equally the creation of imagination working under the deluding
influence of craving. Craving is implicitly present in the repression of sex as
well as in its gratification. Both result in the vitiation of consciousness through
lust or the desire for sensations. The mind is therefore inevitably restless in
either alternative. Just as when there are clouds in the sky, there is gloom and
lack of sunshine, whether it rains or not; so when the human mind is shrouded
by craving there is diminution of being and lack of true happiness, whether this
craving is gratified or not. The mind when restless with desire creates an
illusory idea of happiness in the gratification of desire, and then knowing that
the soul remains dissatisfied even after gratification of desire, seeks freedom
through repression. Thus searching for happiness and freedom, the mind gets
caught up in the opposites of indulgence and repression which it finds equally
disappointing. Since it does not try to go beyond these opposites, its movement
is always from one opposite to the other and consequently from one
disappointment to another.
 -41-

Thus craving falsifies the operation of imagination and presents the mind with
the option between the alternatives of indulgence and repression which prove to
be equally deceptive in their promise of happiness. However, in spite of
alternate and repeated disappointment in indulgence as well as in repression, the
mind usually does not renounce the root cause of unhappiness which is craving,
because, while experiencing disappointment in repression, it is easily susceptible
to the false promise of gratification, and while experiencing disappointment in
gratification, it is easily susceptible to the false promise of purely mechanical
repression.

This is like moving within a cage. The gateway to the spiritual Path of internal
and spontaneous renunciation of craving remains closed for those who have not
the good fortune to be awakened by a Master. But true awakening is the
entering into the path of wisdom which, in course of time, surely leads to the
freedom and abiding happiness of life eternal. Internal and spontaneous
renunciation of craving is as different from mechanical repression as it is from
indulgence. Mind turns to the mechanical repression of craving because of
disappointment, but it turns to internal and spontaneous renunciation of craving
because of disillusionment or awakening.

The need for indulgence or mechanical repression arises only when the nature of
craving is not clearly grasped. When the aspirant becomes fully awake to the
inevitable bondage and suffering entailed by craving, he begins voluntarily to
disburden himself of craving through intelligent understanding. The question of
indulgence or repression arises only when there is craving. The need for both
vanishes with the complete disappearance of craving. When the mind is free
from craving, the mind can no longer be moved by the false promises of
indulgence or mechanical repression.

However, it should be borne in mind that the life of freedom is nearer to the life
of restraint than to the life of indulgence (though in quality it is essentially
different from both). Hence for the aspirant a life of strict celibacy is preferable
to married life, if restraint comes to him easily without undue sense of self-
repression. Such restraint is difficult for most persons and sometimes impossible,
and for them married life is decidedly more helpful than a life of celibacy. For
ordinary persons, married life is undoubtedly advisable unless they have a
special aptitude for celibacy.
 -42-

Just as the life of celibacy requires and calls forth the development of many
virtues, married life in turn also nourishes the growth of many spiritual qualities
of utmost importance. The value of celibacy lies in the habit of restraint and the
sense of detachment and independence which it gives. But as long as the mind
is not altogether free from craving there is no true freedom. In the same way,
the value of marriage lies in lessons of mutual adjustment and the sense of unity
with the other. True union or dissolution of duality is possible, however, only
through Divine Love which can never dawn as long as there is the slightest
shadow of lust or craving in the mind. Only by treading the path of inner and
spontaneous renunciation of craving is it possible to attain true freedom and
unity.

For the celibate as well as for the married person the path of inner life is the
same. When the aspirant is drawn by the Truth he longs for nothing else, and as
the Truth increasingly comes within his ken, he gradually disburdens himself of
craving. Whether in celibacy or in marriage, he is no longer swayed by the
deceptive promises of indulgence or mechanical repression, and he practices
internal and spontaneous renunciation of craving until he is freed from the
deceptive opposites. The path of perfection is open to the aspirant whether in
celibacy or in marriage, and whether he begins from celibacy or from marriage
will depend upon his sanskaras and karmic ties. He cheerfully accepts the
conditions which his past life has determined for him and utilizes them towards
his spiritual advancement in the light of the ideal which he has come to perceive.

The aspirant must choose one of the two courses which are open to him. He
must take to the life of celibacy or to the married life, and he must avoid at all
costs a cheap compromise between the two. Promiscuity in sex gratification is
bound to land the aspirant in a most pitiful and dangerous chaos of ungovernable
lust. As such diffused and undirected lust veils the higher values, it perpetuates
entanglement and creates in the spiritual path insuperable difficulties to the
internal and spontaneous renunciation of craving. Sex in marriage is entirely
different from sex outside marriage. In marriage the sanskaras of lust are much
lighter and are capable of being removed more easily. When sex-
companionship is accompanied by a sense of responsibility, love and spiritual
idealism, conditions for the sublimation of sex are much more favorable than
when it is cheap and promiscuous.

In promiscuity the temptation to explore the possibilities of mere sex contact is

formidable. It is only by the maximum restriction of the scope of mere sex that
the aspirant can arrive at any real understanding of the values attainable through
 -43-

the gradual transformation of sex into love. If the mind tries to understand sex
through increasing the scope of sex, there is no end to the delusions to which it
is a prey, for there is no end to the enlarging of its scope. In promiscuity the
suggestions of lust are necessarily the first to present themselves to the mind,
and the individual is doomed to react to people within the limitation of this
initial perversion and thus close the door to deeper experiences.

Truth cannot be grasped by skipping over the surface of life and multiplying
superficial contacts. It requires the preparedness of mind which can center its
capacities upon selected experiences and free itself from its limiting features.
This process of discrimination between the higher and the lower, and the
transcendence of the lower in favor of the higher, is made possible through
whole-hearted concentration and a real and earnest interest in life. Such whole-
hearted concentration and real interest is necessarily precluded when the mind
becomes a slave to the habit of running at a tangent and wandering between
many possible objects of similar experience. In married life the range of
experience to be had in the company of the partner is so wide that the
suggestions of lust are not necessarily the first to present themselves to the mind.
There is therefore a real opportunity for the aspirant to recognize and annul the
limiting factors in experience. By the gradual elimination of lust and the
progression through a series of increasingly richer experiences of love and
sacrifice, he can finally arrive at Infinity. (Discourses, v. 1, p. 142-147)
 -44-

Meher Baba Continued

http://www.meherbabadnyana.net/life_eternal/Book_Two/2_Sex.htm

Sexual intercourse is the highest type of sensual pleasure in the world. But how
long does it last? Only a few minutes. If this, the highest of all worldly
pleasures, is compared with the real happiness of eternal divine bliss, it is a mere
shadow of a drop from the infinite ocean of eternal bliss. When once realized,
this bliss is felt and enjoyed every second forever. From this comparison you
can imagine the hollowness of the world and its pleasures.

At the Thursday afternoon tea-party at Kaka Shahane's, which was being

continued every week, Baba brought up the subject of 'vital forces' or 'vital
fluid.' He said that the loss of this - excepting in the relations of man and wife
which are based upon mutual love and respect - was a serious matter.
Indulgence for its own sake, whether natural or unnatural or in dreams, simply
increased one's sanskaric load.

Desires are harmful both ways, when fulfilled and when not fulfilled. For
instance, a person has a desire for sex. Overcome with intense longing, he
fornicates with someone of the opposite sex and fulfills his desire. What then?
After the fornication, he feels dejected. Why is this, when his desire has been
fulfilled? At first it seems so strange, but there is nothing strange about it. For
that is the eventual result of expression of his desire, which brings on
disappointment and dejection.

Once a desire is fulfilled, there is another desire that arises ready to be satisfied.
When that desire is satisfied, another is there, and so on. It is not easy to escape
the clutches of one's desires. Only Perfect Masters can destroy the desires of
their devotees, disciples, and those on whom their grace descends.

The intensity of lust has broken the penance and austerities of even rishis and
munis.
 -45-

Baba asked each of the unmarried men to promise never to touch any woman
lustfully. He asked the married men to promise not to touch any woman other
than their wives lustfully. Then he explained, “Lust is not bad. Because of this
lust, you have been born as human beings. It is due to this very lust that you
will turn from men into God. But even if lust is there in you, don't put it into
action. From the spiritual point of view, lust is the worst possible weakness.
The real hero is he who successfully fights it.”

I know each and every thing, but knowing everything, I keep on watching.
Perhaps you might think, “Why doesn't Baba save us from committing sins,
despite knowing everything?” Before you do any wrong action, I already know
that you are going to do it. Then why do I not prevent you? It is my secret.

The secret of my work is, though I know everything, I do not interfere. The fact
is, you should have this lust, but you should do your utmost not to fall prey to it.
You should put up a fierce fight, and though defeated a thousand times, you
should again be ready to continue to fight the lust.

Were I to wish it, I could destroy the lust in you in no time. But what would be
the use of destroying it? Inevitably I will destroy it. In the meantime, continue
on with the battle inside yourselves. This is the law. It is necessary. Then joy
will come in defeating lust.

Without a struggle, there is no pleasure in fighting. The real pleasure lies in

success after so many defeats. Wars won without obstacles, without sacrifices
and untiring effort afford no pleasure. This should be a life and death fight.
Lust is there to be fought. It is a lifelong struggle. It will be a conflict in you till
the end of your days. It should be there to fight you, and you should always be
alert and ready for battle.

But these are points on this path which you will never understand. There are
thousands of points thinner than hair. Remember, it is no easy thing to eradicate
sanskaras gathered during birth after birth, and lust is the hardest of all sanskaras.
But be heroes and fight lust; you will defeat it. The real pleasure is to fight it
and not succumb to it. Knowing this, I let it remain, but I will destroy it in you
when the right time comes. Until then, go on fighting, and never give up.
 -46-

Even the love which expresses through physical desire is good to the extent that
it frees one from the thralldom of personal likes and dislikes, and makes one
want to serve the beloved above all other things.

Every human relationship is based on love in one form or another, and endures
or dissolves as that love is eternal or temporal in character. Marriage, for
example, is happy or unhappy, exalting or degrading, lasting or fleeting,
according to the love which inspires and sustains it.

Q. What is your teaching concerning marriage?

Baba: For an aspirant, celibacy is better than marriage. But if he cannot control
himself, he should marry. To pursue a spiritual life, it is much better to marry
than to go from flower to flower.

Q. How can the aspirant use marriage for spiritual progress?

Baba: In the beginning, the aspirant will, in relation to the partner, feel lust as
well as love. But he can, with conscious and deliberate cooperation with the
partner, gradually lessen the element of lust and increase the element of love,
until love becomes utterly pure and free from lust. But in order to achieve this
purpose, he must strictly limit himself to his partner in matters of sex.

The topic of celibacy came up again during Baba's private interview with Dick
and Audrey Ince. Meredith Starr had told the Inces that sex was only for
procreation of children, and they were not to have any sexual intercourse
whatsoever. They followed this advice for some time, but the marriage was
breaking up because of it. When they told Baba, he refuted Meredith's claim,
and told them that when married, one should lead a normal married life.
 -47-

A woman told Baba that, because of her desire to see God, she wanted to stop
having sex with her husband. Her husband did not agree. Baba told her, "It is
better to treat your husband with love and affection, even if you dislike and do
not wish to indulge in intercourse because of your spiritual aspiration and desire
to love God. It is good to have no sexual desires, but when it comes to a
question of duty, you must sacrifice a little of your interest to please your
husband. Keep your mind focused toward God, and give your body to your
husband. Remember Saint Mira's sacrifice and how she suffered. Be like her."

Now if the Master, who is entirely free from lust, wants to help a strongly lustful
person, he knows that the aspirant is incapable of brahmacharya. Therefore, he
allows him to legally marry, but he asks him to limit his lust only to one woman.
Then gradually, as lust diminishes, he may be asked to give up all acts of lust,
even with his wedded wife, although he can maintain and continue the married
life. In this manner, lust is gradually eliminated, and the goal of brahmacharya
is finally obtained.

Impressions are contagious. Eating meat is prohibited in many spiritual

disciplines because therein the person catches the impressions of the animal,
thus rendering himself more susceptible to lust and anger. Sometimes
innumerable strong impressions are transmitted through the mere touch of the
physical body of another person. A Gross body, even a corpse, can quickly
impart numberless impressions to the person who touches it. Sex contact
outside wedlock is the worst form of exposure to heavy and binding impressions
of lust. In wedlock the impressions exchanged are much lighter and less
binding.

To have one eye glued on the enchanting pleasures of the flesh, and with the
other expect to see a spark of eternal bliss, is not only impossible, but the height
of hypocrisy.
 -48-

The Freedom of Restraint

Excerpt from Seeking the Heart of Wisdom
By Joseph Goldstein

It is important to understand what restraint means because it lies at the very

heart of our practice. We should be careful not to confuse restraint with
repression or avoidance. Restraint of mind does not mean pushing something
away and denying its presence. It does not mean being judgmental or having an
aversion toward certain aspects of ourselves, the ignorance of not
acknowledging what is present creates more tension and pain in the mind.

With restraint, we are open to everything that arises, but we see with
discriminating wisdom, without becoming lost or forgetful. With wisdom and
awareness we can see that there are skillful activities that are conducive to
greater happiness and understanding, and there are unskillful ones that lead to
further suffering and conflict. Restraint is the capacity we have to discriminate
one from the other, and the strength and composure of mind to pursue the
skillful course.

Restraint also serves as a counterbalance to the addictive tendencies of mind…

This is how we are with our addictions. Something gives us pleasure and we
grasp it. Feeling the lack when it changes, we reach for it again or look for
another source of that momentary satisfaction. We reach out for another source
of pleasure. Then another and another, until we’re quite entangled by the
grasping and wanting state of mind. We become quite firmly entrapped by the
force of our own desire. We become addicted not only to the gratification of our
wants, but also to the mental habit of wanting itself. It is possible, though, to
relate to desire in an altogether different way, a way of much greater freedom. It
is possible to develop restraint, the gentle discipline of settling back and
allowing the desires to arise and pass without always feeling the need or
compulsion to act on them.

An unrestrained mind is much like an unrestrained child: temper tantrums, fits

of wanting, aversion, and the like. In both cases we need to develop a gentle
kind of discipline, understanding that it is sometimes appropriate to say no. Just
as a wise parent does not indulge a child’s unhealthy tendencies, we need not
indulge the mind’s every desire and impulse: we can learn to say no to the mind,
gently and with humor.
 -49-

True restraint is not cultivated through aversion and suppression. It comes from
simply seeing what is harmonious and what isn’t, and then acting accordingly,
bringing our actions of speech and body into alignment with what we know to
be true. And as we work with the quality or restraint, we find it to be a source of
tremendous power and energy.

Through the power of restraint we can learn that instead of letting every thought
or feeling that goes through the mind be the cause of action, instead of letting all
these impulses be energy leaks for us, it is possible to become aware of what is
happening and have enough space and wisdom, enough reflective ability, to
restrain the mind and conserve the growing energy momentum. It is from this
conservation of energy that we generate enough power of mind to penetrate and
open to the deepest levels.

Through the power of restraint we can begin the process of disentangling our
thoughts and projections from the reality of what is actually present…Restraint
creates a spaciousness in the mind that can appreciate the emptiness and
impermanence of phenomena. The Buddha expressed this ephemeral nature of
experience in a short verse: See all of this world as a star at dawn, a bubble in a
stream, a flash of lightning in a summer cloud, a flickering lamp, a phantom and
a dream.

This wisdom opens up to us the possibility of simplicity in our lives, of what the
Buddha called “the greatest gain” – contentment. We are so conditioned to want
more, to think that we will be happier if we accumulate more money or
possessions, more honor, fame, power, sex, and so forth, that we burden
ourselves with acquisitions, both material and psychological. The underlying
rationale of this wanting mind is that fulfillment will make us happy. If we stop
to reflect upon our situation, we can see that the attitude of wanting more simple
leads to greater craving and frustration.

The problem is not that we too rarely fulfill our desires, but that we so often do,
yet are still left wanting. How many beautiful sounds, delicious tastes,
wonderful sensations, exciting thoughts, rapturous feelings have we already
experienced in our lives? Countless, too many even to remember. But all this
has not yet satisfied the wanting mind. We have a desire, gratify it, and
experience some pleasure, and when conditions change and the pleasure
diminishes or goes away, we find a return of craving, wanting more, motivated
 -50-

by the same sense of lack. We try again and again to come to completion, but it
doesn’t work; we’re never done.

What is it that we crave? Craving is hunger for pleasant feelings. Whether we

crave pleasant sights, sounds, tastes, bodily sensations, or mental states, what we
are after is the feeling of pleasantness. The difficulty is that even when the
pleasant feelings come, they don’t last very long. We go around and around,
looking for permanent satisfaction in phenomena that in their very nature are
impermanent.

We seek fulfillment in sense pleasure because that seems the obvious place to
look. It is where everyone else is looking, believing it to be the place where
happiness is to be found. But a more genuine happiness and peace lie in
contentment and simplicity. We really don’t need very much to be happy.
Voluntary simplicity creates the possibility of tremendous lightness and
spaciousness in our lives. As the force of craving and acquisitiveness cool down
and we are less driven by impulses of the wanting mind, we experience a greater
and greater peace.

Discipline is a difficult word for most of us. It conjures up images of somebody

standing over you with a stick, telling you that you are wrong.

But self-discipline is different. It’s the skill of seeing through the hollow
shouting of your own impulses and piercing their secret.

They have no power over you. It’s all a show, a deception. Your urges scream
and bluster at you; they cajole; they coax; they threaten;
but they really carry no stick at all.

You give in out of habit. You give in because you never really bother to look
beyond the threat. It is all empty back there. There is only one way to learn this
lesson though. The words on this page won’t do it.

But look within and watch the stuff coming up - restlessness, anxiety,
impatience, pain - just watch it come up and don’t get involved.

Much to your surprise, it will simply go away. It rises, it passes away.

As simple as that. There is another word for self-discipline. It is patience.
(Henepola Gunaratana)
 -51-

On Sexual Orientation and the Judging of Others

Excerpt from Sant Bani Magazine, Sept. 1994
By Russell Perkins

Master Kirpal used to say, “Chastity is life and sexuality is death.” In the old
days I found this statement embarrassing, and I never liked to repeat it because it
seemed extreme to me. I found the uncompromising nature of the quote
disturbing; but I no longer feel that way. The longer I have lived, the more that I
have seen, the more my life’s experiences confirm that Master’s statement is
nothing more nor less than the absolute truth. “Chastity is life and sexuality is
death.” It is not because of the emergence of AIDS, but because of the one thing
that I have seen repeatedly happen; and that is that sexual indulgence ruins
people’s lives. It leaves them absolutely on the bottom. Some of these dear
ones started out very high, but because of an inability to be chaste, because of
the lack of desire to take seriously the implications of a life of chastity and
meditation, they end up drowning under the influence of the world and losing
their real wealth.

So, it is not a question for heterosexual people, or for that matter for homosexual
people, to decide that their particular type of indulgence is superior on this or
that grounds and that this coincides with the teachings of Sant Mat. Such
viewpoints simply are not justified. What the Master wants is for people to rise
above the whole thing. Whatever way our sexual desires manifest, through
whatever avenues these desires make inroads into our lives, the point is that we
will fulfill our purpose for being born only after we are able to rise above them.

Master Kirpal Singh, in The Crown of Life, says:

“One will not suppress all sexual desire, for repression can only breed neurosis
and prepare the way for a downfall, but he will be ever seeking to sublimate it.
He will understand that nature’s purpose in this instinct is to preserve the race,
and will channel it so as to fulfill that purpose, never making it an end in itself, a
source of physical pleasure, for when it becomes that, it turns into a drug that
anesthetizes the spirit and begins to defeat nature’s purpose of procreation by
encouraging the invention and use of contraceptives.”

Now, that is the ideal. We are to work towards this. We are to understand the
reason why this very strong impulse is there. When we make it an end in itself,
then we are basically standing in our own way, regardless of who we are,
regardless of the direction of our sexual desires. We are turning it into a drug
 -52-

that casts the spirit into a deep, unfeeling slumber. We may be wide awake
physically, but inside we are not able to gain access to the higher state. These
two types of enjoyment can not be present within us at the same time. So that is
the working out of “chastity is life and sexuality is death.” This is why the
Masters lovingly ask us to take up the path of steady progress.

The work of embracing chastity and the work of understanding it as an

enjoyable positive experience, this is where many of us procrastinate, and in so
doing further create an aura of lethargy in our lives. It takes courage to make
these changes. When withdrawing from any addiction, the early phase of
breaking away is usually not pleasant. It may involve confronting our fears.
But if we pick up any book written by the Masters, we find that They
continually encourage each disciple gradually, step by step, to turn away from
the life of sensual indulgence to the life of spiritual strength. In the beginning
many aspects of our sexuality may be beyond our control. What is not beyond
our control is doing our best, loving the Master, allowing Him to work in our
lives, allowing Him to give us the Grace that we need to make some real
changes, and to allow us to forgive other people who intentionally or
inadvertently offend us. We take one step towards Him; He takes a million
steps towards us.
 -53-

The Real Renunciate

A wealthy merchant addressed a visiting guru, noted for his simple life style and
renunciation of all worldly pleasures and attachments: “Reverend Sir, you are a
great renunciate. How did you free yourself from bondage to worldly
attachments?”
“Dear Friend,” replied the Master, “It is not I that am a great renunciate but you.
For I have merely given up the world in exchange for God, while you have
given up God for the world.”

The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence, but in the
mastery, of his passions. (Alfred, Lord Tennyson)

I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his
enemies; the hardest victory is the victory over self. (Aristotle)

Who fights with bows and arrows is not the true valiant one; who banishes from
his mind all cravings, lures and greed is a warrior indeed. (Kabir)
 -54-

An intending disciple said to Dhu-L-Nun, the Egyptian mystic:

“Above everything in this world I wish to enroll in the Path of Truth.”
Dhu-L-Nun told him: “You can accompany our caravan only if you first accept
two things. One is that you will have to do things which you do not want to do.
The other is that you will not be permitted to do things which you desire to do.
It is ‘wanting’ which stands between man and the Path of Truth.”

If you prefer the secrets of the love of your soul to be revealed to you,
you will sacrifice everything. You will lose what you consider valuable,
but you will soon hear the sacramental word “Enter.”
(Attar)

O God, give me that right discrimination

that the lure of the world may cheat me no more.
(Ansari of Herat)

If words can establish a claim, I claim a crown.

But if deeds are wanted, I am as helpless as the ant.
Urged by desire, I wandered in the streets of good and evil.
I gained nothing except feeding the fire of desire.
As long as in me remains the breath of life, help me,
for You alone can hear my prayer.
(Ansari of Herat)
 -55-

As a child learning to walk falls a thousand times before he can stand, and after
that falls again and again until at last he can walk, so are we as little children
before God. (Hazrat Inayat Khan)

The spiritual path is one of falling on your face, getting up, brushing yourself
off, turning and looking sheepishly at God and then taking the next step.
(Sri Aurobindo)

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
(Confucius)

I know the path: it is straight and narrow. It is like the edge of a sword. I rejoice
to walk on it. I weep when I slip. God’s word is: “He who strives never
perishes.” I have implicit faith in that promise. Though, therefore, from my
weakness I fail a thousand times, I shall not lose faith. (Mohandas Gandhi)

One falls often, no doubt, but one becomes a good rider only after many a fall.
(Sant Kirpal Singh)

You are under the protective wings of the great Master-Power always extending
His grace and protection unknowingly and unasked for. He is always by your
side. You may stumble and fall, but His loving hands are always there to pick
you up. (Sant Kirpal Singh, Spiritual Elixir, 328)

Do not lose heart but fight courageously. The battle has just begun. Mind is not
stronger than the sound current. The Master is with you. He is watching your
every movement. He is prepared to fight your battles with you. Take him as
your helper. Have faith in him. Fight the mind and you will succeed.
(Baba Sawan Singh, Spiritual Gems, letter 210)
 May your soul be happy;
journey joyfully.
(Rumi)
Kirpalct@yahoo.com

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