LETTING YOU GO

THE NDLOVU SERIES

PROLOGUE

Love, is a natural feeling that dominates all

emotions. It's rooted in us from a young age,
we manifest it differently, in friends, family,
parents, everyone as well as partners we find in
our journey called life. It's conditional and
Unconditional as well. Love is eternal; I fell in
love at a young age. Oh how we can't resist the
charms of man, that’s how I was. I couldn't
resist the charms of that man. His words were
like melodies in my ears, His chuckle and laugh.
My whole world would just come to a standstill.
We used to meet after dark and stay in his car
just listening to our breathing patterns.

“I love you Nana “he would say and I trusted

and believed his words so much. Those were
the words I wanted to hear. I looked up to him.

“I love you too”

He ran his fingers on my cheeks and laid a soft

perk on my forehead. I lay back on his chest.
Sakhile was the man I fell for, the man I needed
and loved whole heartedly .I thought I knew
love then at the age of 18 still as the years
passed by. It was love for me, the one I saw no
future without, the one full of kids and a
wonderful husband. A beautiful home than the
one I have, a wonderful home with both
parents that I never grew up in with. I saw all
of that wonderful stuff. It made me happy; it
filled my heart with joy just by thinking about
it.

I met Sakhile at the taxi rank, that day he was

the conductor for the taxi I was taking to
Sobantu, I was going to visit my mother. She
lives with her husband and their marital kids. I
live with my grandmother and so as my cousin
Nosibusiso, Nosi. In sweet water area. It's not
much but we did survive and still do survive. I
just came from school that Friday and I walked
in the taxi rank, Places where taxis were going
were being shouted and it was loud and clear.

“Bombay Bombay!”

I kept on walking looking up to the signs just so

I can find Sobantu.

"Mkhondeni SACA!”

I kept on walking further. I saw Sobantu and

went towards the drivers who were standing in
front of the taxi having a chat. I had to ask just
so I can be sure.

“Iya Esobantu? (Is it going to Sobantu ? )" I ask

“Yebo sisi Ngena lah (yes get in)"

I nod and walked to get in. I first checked the

spaces left and it was the front, next to the
driver or behind him.

“Sorry sisi ngicela ukudlula (sorry can I pass)"

someone held my waist. I moved and that was
Sakhile, his moustache suited him quiet well.
He smelled so good and was very clean with a
white cap on and a black hoodie with jeans and
sneakers. I was staring too much as he walked
past me going to the back. I touched my waist
as his scent was still left with me.

“Sobantu?”

One of the drivers asked and people nodded

“Ngena sisi (get in)"

I got in and sat next to this woman. I greeted

her and kept my silence. I opened my bag and
took out some money just so that it could be
visible when I have to pay. The taxi driver got
in the taxi and it started then the conductor
entered, Sakhile. He leaned against the
passenger seat before closing the door behind
him. People started passing money to him and i
did the same and concentrated on the front.

“Ngiqeda kubona uGatseni manje (I just saw

Gatseni now)" the driver said.

“Yeah, ngiyabuya ksasa (I am coming back

tomorrow)" that was Sakhile replying to him.
The woman next to me opened her chips and
started eating; I have always been
uncomfortable eating in front of people
especially in a taxi. There was silence and it
was nearing Sobantu. People would start
shouting their stops and got out, little by little
till I was by the window as I had to let some
woman pass.

"Unjani? (How are you?)"I kept quiet; I assumed

he wasn't talking to me until he tapped my
thigh as he was sitting next to me. I looked at
him.

“Unjani? (How are you?)" He said for the second

time.

“Ngiyaphila (I am fine)" I kept quiet. “Umuhle

(you are beautiful)" he said. I wanted to blush
when he said that but I didn't. I am beautiful? I
never knew. I felt beautiful the moment he said
that. I mean he is handsome and saying I am
beautiful that was a very big thing for me.

“Ngiyabonga (thank you) “I replied.

“Can I have your number?" He asked.

Unfortunately I didn't have a cell phone to give
him my number that time. He was taking out
his phone from his pocket while saying that.

“I don't have a phone “He looked at me and

smiled. “Really?” I nodded and he did as well. I
saw my stop and said. “Can I get off?” The
driver slowed down and I stood up from the
seat and he opened the door for me. I got off
and he sat by the edge still holding the door.

“NguSakhile (I am Sakhile)" he licked his lips

before he bit his bottom lip, I smiled.

“Slindokuhle “I walked off and the taxi drove

off after that.

I had a huge smile on my face; it was just the

start of knowing each other. Every time I
would go to Sobantu I would see him. After our
first encounter I saw him two months later and
he was still there , He still asked for my number
but I didn't have a phone unfortunately , I was
with Nosi that day since my little brother was
having Imbeleko ( welcoming ceremony) . I
didn't know his father and my mother's
husband were friends when I met him at the
ceremony on that Saturday. Mom asked us to
serve him and I did. He smiled at me as I
served him the food; I was smitten by his looks
as well. He made me shy while serving him so I
walked off after.

"Umhlaba muncane Ntokazi (The world is

small)" I turned to him. He was in a golf shirt
with a jean and sneakers. The cap couldn’t be
forgotten as well. “Hi " he said and i replied.

“You look beautiful “that was the second time

hearing him say that to me and my heart
skipped a beat. His cologne was melting me in
every way as he smelled so damn good.
“Slindokuhle!”

My mother shouted from inside. “I have to go “I

turned and he held my arm. “I will see you
later then “I nodded and walked off.

I went to help with the rest of what's needed. I

was tired thereafter; the only reason Nosi and I
were there was to help out with the
preparations. “Umuntu wami uyeza sisi.
Ngiyahamba mina (My man is coming, I am
going)" that was Nosi; she is 2 years older than
me, very beautiful with a very beautiful body.
The curves and all and men loved that. She
didn't get just any guy; yes they hit on her but
the moneyed ones were her favorite.
“Ok " she walked off to pack her bag. I looked at
my mother and my siblings; I wished I grew up
with both parents. I do feel like an outcast
Every time I am here.

I went out to go and buy some sweets that's

when i saw Sakhile once more. We walked
together and talked. It escalated into him
asking me to be his girlfriend; I agreed to that,
he was an amazing guy. My first ever boyfriend,
I didn't know that my heart would be where it
is today when I agreed. A kiss was put on the
table, the first one yet. That was the start of the
lies

The jumping out of windows and being gone for

days and coming back on Fridays, My
grandmother would shout till she couldn't
anymore. I loved Sakhile so much to not hear
anything. Our relationship was private but not
secret, Free rides I would get when going to
Sobantu. He would fetch me from School in
Sweetwater's at times and I would be the talk of
the century. His father owns Taxi's that take a
route in Sobantu and also going to Hayfields as
well. Sakhile didn't work; He only went to the
taxi rank to learn the ropes so he could take
over one day. He only studied a business
course and that was it. Sakhile was an amazing
boyfriend but his partying tendencies were
what got us in trouble at times.

Cheating was involved. I had a phone that he

bought and I would see his posts on Facebook
with another girl. I was sure he slept with but
he would deny, He was manipulative and I
would believe his story and forgot how angry I
was with him. He would make me sink more
and more in love with him.

“Don’t love with your heart Mntase he will hurt

you “that was Nosi when I started telling her
about Sakhile.

I looked out of our bedroom window while

ironing my clothes for the next day at school. I
took her advice and threw it out of the window.
My phone rang and I went to take it and its
Sakhile. I answered.

“Baby “I was smiling from ear to ear”Hlukana

nendoda Yami wena nx (leave my man alone)"
that was a female voice. I swallowed and hung
up; I should have listened to Nosi. I decided to
listen to her for a short while. For a whole
week I didn't take his calls nor answered his
messages. Friday came and I had to go back to
Sobantu and visit my mother. I saw him at the
rank and walked past him and got in the taxi
but he followed.

“Slie ngicela sikhuluma (Slie can we talk) "I

ignored him. He got inside and sat next to me.

“Sthandwa Sam akuyona lento oyicabangayo

(it’s not what you are thinking)" I was pissed off
the most than anything else. He always says
this. He holds my hands and kisses them

" Nguwe ophethe inhliziyo Yami Slindokuhle (

you have my heart Slindokuhle )" I still kept
quiet , I looked at him.

" Ngiyakuthanda yezwa ( I love you ok ? )" I

nodded.

I was softening up. That's how he softened me ,

His love for me did. We would kiss and make
up a lot. That day was the day he came to fetch
me at night and I jumped over , for the first
time I was at his place and it was in Scottsville .
His flat was amazing and clean as well. We
kissed and played around till it escalated. I
wasn't ready to loose my virginity but he
assured me that he wouldn't hurt me and I
trusted him. I gave it to him and that was me
putting myself in pain. He caressed my body so
ever softly and took care of it. Whispering how
much he loved me as he thrusted in side me
while looking into my eyes . I loved him more
and more , I loved him more than ever that
moment , to me he was mine. All mine and we
would be together forever . It was a fairytale
that only exists in books. I loved him with all
of me.

Nosi was disappointed to learn that I lost my

virginity , she wanted me to be a better version
of herself but it had happened. Sakhile went
silent for a whole month after that , I didn't
understand why and when he came back he
splashed gifts so I wouldn't ask him questions.
Our relationship was wonderful. Getting
stronger and stronger , I thought he would
leave me but he said " I would never leave you
baby , I love you " I trusted him more than ever
, he hasn't left me and that was what i needed.
A few months down the line and things were
going south for me , I was starting to get sick . I
kept on checking and checking if I am feeling ok
until me and Nosi went to the clinic and that's
when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't know
what to do. My mind just shut down after that ,
I was a child , I was in matric and a teenager
and now about to be a mother but one thing I
couldn't do is aborting , I never believed in that.
I told my grandmother and she was very
disappointed , it hurt me that I did that to her
and my mother didn't care if I was pregnant or
not , she brushed it off. One person I had to tell
and that was Sakhile. I called him that night,
Nosi was away that day, she went to her
boyfriend's place. It rang a few times and he
answered.

"Baby" he said. I sighed

"Sakhile" I said.

"Urite?(Are you ok?)" He asks

"Cha, Khona into ekumele ngikutshele Yona

(No, there is something I need to tell you )" He is
silent.

"Ok, ngitsehele (Ok tell me)" He says

"I am pregnant" he is silent for a moment.

"Sikhiphe , Angifuni ukuba ubaba Slindokuhle (

Abort it ,I don't want to be a father Slindokuhle
)"

I was shocked and hurt at the same time.

"Sakhile ...." Tears welded in my eyes.

“Ngizoletha imali yokusikhipha. Angifuni

Ngane Slindo (I will bring the money to abort it.
I don't want any child Slindokuhle)" I kept
quiet. I just hung up on him and I cried. I
called Nosi and she answered.

"Uthe angisikhiphe (He said I should abort)", I

spoke first.

"Haibo you are not doing that. That dog! "She

hung up and I sobbed on my pillow. I woke up
the next morning and went to school, after
school he was there by his car. He saw me
walk out and came to me. He held my hand.

"Slindokuhle" I kept quiet and looked at him.

He sighed.

"I am not ready to be a father"

"I am not ready to be a mother too but it's here"

"We can fix that" He took out the brown

envelope and gave it to me.

"If you still want us to be together you will get

rid of the baby" I was hurt by that.

He left me with the money and walked off to

his car. I didn't, I couldn't. I didn't listen to
him , This was a human and yes it was a
mistake but killing wasn't in my standard ,My
grandmother would kill me with Nosi as well. I
took the money and went into saving it. I didn't
abort instead I broke things off with him, I was
miserable but I made the right decision that
tormented me. Being apart from him was
proven to be difficult. I didn't pass my matric
well that year. I was disappointed in myself, I
would see Sakhile when I went to Sobantu with
my belly and he was with some girl or talking to
one. It hurt me because I still loved him, I love
him so much and it couldn’t just disappear. I
later on gave birth into the New Year in March
26 to my beautiful baby girl and I named her
Owami, She was my child and mine alone.
That's when I found new love, an unconditional
love 3 years ago.

“Muhle (she is beautiful )”That was Nosi, I

smiled as I played with her hand after she was
cleaned up after labor.

"She is "She was her father’s daughter

CHAPTER ONE

"Weeh Sakhile !! "Nosi was shouting over the

fence.
Some people were looking at us like we are
crazy. The police behind us , I didn't have the
courage and still think we should turn away but
Nosi is determined. I have brought up Owami
fine these past 3 years though it was a struggle
but I did and still think I could without Sakhile's
help. The remote gate opened and a car drove
out, Nosi slipped in and the police followed. I do
as well.

" Nosibusiso ,asambe ( Nosibusiso let's go )", she

was up the stairs now going straight to his flat.

" Sakhile !! " She shouted, gun blazing as she

was marching infront.

She reached his flat number and banged the

door like there was no tomorrow. The little
amount that Sakhile sent in was enough, Nosi
says it's not. He should be maintaining his
daughter every month, what does he think she
eats? The door opens and he is in boxers and a
woman is behind him wearing close to nothing.

" skebereshe hambo gqhoka !?( Whore go and

get dressed )" Nosi says like she caught her
boyfriend with another woman. The whole
building is surely hearing her shouting. It can't
be missed .
" Ufunani lah ,?( What do you want here ? )"
Sakhile looks at Nosi then me , he is not pleased
to see us.

" You are under arrest sir ...."

" What !? " They hand cuff him.

" Ubuthi ngiyadlala. Angiyena uSlindokuhle

mina. Ngizokubophisa uthi u-Owami udlani? (
you thought I was playing , I am not
Slindokuhle I will get you arrested . What do
you think Owami is eating ? )" Nosi shouts as
they handcuff him and push him out to the
stairs in his boxers. She is still talking.

" Fokof wena ! " Sakhile says to Nosi. She kicks

him on his nuts and he crouches. The police
hold her.

" Mam we could get you arrested. " She tries to

get of the officer’s grip.

" Ah fuck ! "

Sakhile is on his knees crying. " Ngizokushaya

mina ( I will hit you )" Nosi says and they drag
the both of them down the stairs as I follow .
The gate is opened by the security guy and we
got out. They throw him inside the van and we
are taken to the other police car and we get
inside. Nosi clicks her tongue.

" He ...."she puts her hand up stopping me from

talking.

" You are struggling Slindo. They own taxi's and

he changes cars like nothing. Buys thousand of
Rands worth of Alcohol bottles ko Cubana and
Vogue every weekend but what is his daughter
eating ? If he didn't want a child he should've
cut of his dick with his balls. Nx I should've
done that " I kept quiet.

She is right. I see it on his Facebook page when

he posts buckets and buckets of alcohol yet he
doesn't support his daughter , I didn't ask to be
a mother as well. We were both not ready but
this is very unfair , the government didn't
impregnant me. I struggled more when Owami
was still an infant. Nosi would bring some baby
stuff by using the money her boyfriend gave to
her. It wasn't her duty. It was mine and
Sakhile's but she always helped me. Owami
knows her father because My family found out
that Sakhile is the father. My mother told his
father and his father told him to take
responsibilities of which he is not doing at the
moment.

The van drives off to Alexandra Police station

which is nearby and the police are driving us
back home to Sweetwater. Nosi is still
breathing fire , Her breathing is loud enough
for me to hear. I look out of the window, I don't
regret having my daughter I love her so much.
She is my world , she brings so much joy in my
heart . It's the father that I regret ,It's what I get
for being in a relationship with someone who
was 6 years older than me.

Nosi' s phone rang and she answered. She has a

new boyfriend this time. It's the one driving
this police car. Yes he is a police man and spoils
her and gives her money whenever she wants
too. I like him for her , He seems serious about
her as well. Anything she says it's done, He lays
his world down just for her but I fear police
men. They have a record of killing their women
from time to time. So I have heard but he
seems genuine.

" Mngoh ( friend ) " I saw his face relax when

she said that and I giggled. He chuckled as well
. He looked at me through the review mirror.

" Angikubingelelanga namhlanje Sisi omncane (

I didn't greet you today little sis )"

" Sibe matasa. Ninjani ? ( We got busy. How are

you ? )" I ask him.
" Sirite ( we are good )" I nod and his partner
next to him talks.

" Awusho , Umam uGym uKarat yini ? ( Is Nosi

practicing Karate ? )" I laughed. Nosi hung up
and frowned as we laughed

" Ingane yasekhaya leh. Akudlalelwa kuyo (

This is my little sister. No one messes with her
)" she says and I smile at her.

Her boyfriend passes by Caltex garage and

buys some chips with cool drinks and sweets
for us. Some for Owami as well and we thank
him before he drives us back home. I felt
relieved when we reached home and Owami
was running outside naked while Gogo was
washing in the basin. She looked wet as well ,I
smiled. I love seeing her so happy. The car
came to a halt and we both got out. Owami
stopped and looked at me for a while , she looks
just like Sakhile , Took his skin colour
complexion which is chocolate smooth , she
smiles and I do the same. Nosi gives her
boyfriend a quick perk , he raised his hand to
me as a sign of good bye. I did the same

" Ngizobuya sengiletha inkomo ( I will come

back when I bring lobola )" I giggled.

" kubenjalo ( I hope so )" Nosi rolled her eyes.

" Bye " he says looking down on Nosi and she
looks at him. I decided to leave them and
Owami ran to me and i crouched catching her
in my arms.

" Sthandwa Sam ( my love ) " I kiss her cheek .

" Mama , Ungishiyile ( you left me ) " she played

with the straps of my bag.

" Ngiyaxolisa , umama ukuphathele something.

Umalume ukuthengelile ( I am sorry , Mommy
has something . Uncle bought it for you )" I put
her down as we reach my grandmother. She
stops washing and looks at me.

" How did it go ? " She asks

" He is arrested " she nodded and carried on

washing " what does he think Owami eats ? " I
shrug.

" Owami hambo gqoka !!( Owami go and get

dressed )" she shouts after running Owami.

" Come I will dress you " she comes to me and

holds my hand.

We walk inside the house and I go to the

bedroom and i put the bag down. I go to the
black plastic and rummage inside. I find the
clothes , These used to be mine when I was
young. I smiled and dressed her up and she
looked at me , God took his time in making my
daughter.

" Mama sompona nini baba ? ( Mommy when

will we see daddy ?)" A question I never want to
answer. She saw Sakhile twice and now she
wants to see him.

" Akekho nana ( he is not available )" I make her

stand on the bed so she can be dressed in
shorts. She holds my shoulders

" Oh Sobuya ampone ? ( He will see me next

time ? )" She looked at me. I nodded and got
her dressed and kissed her lips.

“Sobuya ambone u-Owami ubaba (He will see

Owami later)" she nodded and she jumped
down the bed and ran out. I looked at the
direction she ran off and I sighed. I laid on the
bed, Nosi walked in and put her bag down.

"Dumisani will fetch us tomorrow, He will be in

court" I looked at her. I nodded and she sat next
to me.
"Yindaba ? (What's wrong?)" She asks me.

" uSakhile uzomlimaza uOwami. Umbhekile (

Sakhile will disappoint Owami. She is looking
up to him )" I said and she looked at me and
touched my thigh.

"Let him hurt her so she will grow up resenting

him for his actions and not what you say or
stopping her from knowing her father. Let her
know him and let her see his true colours, you
will always be there for her "I sighed. I nodded,
she stood up.

"I am going to make some food" I nodded and

she walked out.

I laid there, It hurts how we are now. I never

imagined Sakhile and I taking each other to
court because of maintenance, I never
imagined us not seeing eye to eye. I thought we
would still be together now and happy as well. I
still love him , I never stopped and I try to as
much as I can but it’s a feeling that won’t just go
away no matter how much I have tried . I
sighed and changed my clothes before going to
the kitchen to make food with Nosi. She looked
at me as I moved to the fridge and opened it . I
took out the jam and she took out the bread
before she swiftly moved to the kettle and
turned it on . She leans against the cupboard
and looks at me .

“You Know Slie…“I looked at her and gave her

my full attention .

“Yebo “I reply

“Dumi was telling me about his sister, she is a

manager at Spar in Parklane , he said he could
talk to her for you.” I smile at her. I feel blessed
with Nosi by my side

“Ngempela?(really ?)”She nodded and I held my

breath.

“Just give me your C.V and I will drop it at his

office tomorrow “I feel overwhelmed.

“Thank you “she smiles “Ungumzala , kumele

ngikubhekelele( you are my cousin , I need to
have your back ).” She has my back way too
much, the kettle clicks and she turns to it . I
start spreading the jam on the bread and I
closed the container once I am done, she makes
the tea and she looks at me .

“Tea or coffee?” She asks

“Tea please “She nods and Owami walks inside

the kitchen and her clothes are off .
“What’s wrong?”I ask her while crouching to
her level. She is sniffing indicating that she is
crying.

“Uwile odakeni!”My grandmother shouts and I

embrace her in my arms

“Sorry “I rubbed her back. ”Come let’s get you

dressed”.

“She must bath so she won’t play anymore

“Nosi says and I nod.”Go and sit with granny
“she walks off to the lounge and I watch her sit
on the floor . I turned and went to take the
kettle then went to refill it with the water in the
drum before I went to put it on and waited.

“Shame nana “Nosi said and I giggled a bit

because of the way she said it . “ I will be in the
lounge with her “she took the plate with the
sandwiches and her tea and walked off. I
prepared the water for Owami before calling
her to bath once it was ready and warm. I
closed the bedroom door once we were inside
and I undressed her and took the sunlight bar
soap and her towel.

“Woza Owami (Come Owami )”she came to me

and I got her on her knees
I first washed her face and rinsed it before
getting her inside the bathing basin. I washed
her thoroughly all through her body .

“Mama hlungu (mommy it hurts)”fear kicks in a

bit. ”Where?” I ask and she points at her elbow
and I sigh from relief. She has a scratch there, I
wash with care as she squirms a bit.

“You will be ok “she nodded and I carried on

bathing her. I got her out and wiped her whole
body then took Vaseline and I applied it on her
body. She looks at me.

“Sazodlala ?(am I going to play ?)” she asks and

I shake my head No . She looks disappointed,
she always plays alone or speak to the
neighbour’s child through the fence or she visits
. She is not grown enough to go and play with
others . I get her dressed and put her down she
rushes off. I wipe the wet floor and wash her
towel before taking the bathing Basin and go
outside . I discard the water

“Awu ,weh Slindokuhle !” I look at the direction

of where my name is being called . It’s
Mam’Zikhali carrying plastics on either side of
her hands and a 10Kg of Flour on her head
balancing it , she stops by the side of the road .
“Mama Unjani ?(how are you ?)”I politely say .
she places the plastics on the ground
.”Kuyaphileka, yeyi angisakwazi! . usukhule
kanje ngane yami (I am good, its been so long ,
you have grown )”. I shy smile .

“Yebo “I settle for that response .”kuphi lokhu

okuncanyana? , ngizwile ukuthi okwakho
(where is the little one , I heard she is yours
)”she says .

“Oh, ungaphakathi ( oh she is inside )”I want to

go inside now before she says anything else.
She can talk the whole day if she wants to .

“Kodwa ugogo wakho ezilungele kanje ngane

yami , yazi ngaphoxeka ngizwa lezindaba (you
disappointed your grandmother when she is
this good )”I knew she would say something
along those lines .

“Things happen “I try defending myself .

“Weh Makhi !”my grandmother shouts from

behind.

I turn and she is coming towards us

MamZikhali raises her hand up to my
grandmother saying “Makhelwane ayisazani !”
My grandmother reaches us .”uyaphila kodwa
?(are you good though ?)”she asks .

“siyancega noma amadolo engasavumi nje ,

bengisathe shwii ethawini ngiyohhola
impesheni bese ngathenga ishebana lezi (we
are trying even though our knees are failing us ,
I just went down to town for my pension money
and then I went to buy some grocery)”

“Kwaqolo lami alisavumi , kuhambe kahle

kodwa ?(even my back is not well anymore , did
it go well ?)”I looked between them .

”nihambe kahle Mah “I say to MamZikhali .

“Iyobonana ke Slindokuhle “she says and I turn

and walk off . I get inside the house and Nosi is
feeding Owami . she looks up to me .

“MamZikhali loves news yoh “I say and she

gives me a look .

“What did she say ? She always has something

to say “she rolls her eyes and makes Owami
open her mouth. “she talked about me falling
pregnant “she clicks her tongue .

“Othi ngiyodla ngiyeke oGogo babantu ( let me

go and eat and leave people’s grannies)”.I walk
to the kitchen and place the bathing Basin by
the door and I take my food. I go to the lounge
and put it on the coffee table .

“Cela ungithathele iphone yam”Nosi pleas .

“Ok”
I walk off to our bedroom and I take her phone
and mine rings . It’s an unknown number , I
decide to answer it .

“Hello”

“Slie yazi udlala ngomlilo “

“Sakhile “I say . His breathing is heavy .

“Didn’t I send you money 5 months ago ?”

I am quiet , sweating as well , his tone rises a bit

to the question. He is angry from the sound of it
.

“Khuluma anginaso iskhathi Slie !(Talk, I don't

have time Slie)”

“Yebo , yes you did “

“Manje ngifunani lah?(So what am I doing in

here?)”
“ Owami is growing , she needs stuff , I didn’t
make Owami on my own “

“ I did send money when I shouldn’t have done

that . I told you I don’t want to be a father
Damnit , what do you want ?!”

“You are her father , meet me half way every

month Sakhile that’s what I want ! For you to
have a relationship with Owami is what I want
“

“Nx “ he hangs up after that , I look at the

phone, I feel like crying . I sit on the bed and
breathe in and out so I could calm down.

“Hey I heard shouting “ I look up to her .

“It’s nothing “I get off the bed .

“Don’t let him get to you Nana , he has to

maintain his seed and water it till it grows “

“I don’t know Nosi , I hate what is happening

between us “I honestly say .

“It will be ok , don’t worry”

I nod “ go eat while I hold my phone for a while

“I give her , her phone. I walk out after that .

I don’t know how I would handle all of this , I

look at Owami who is looking at the T.V and I
just think of Sakhile , I didn’t know me getting
pregnant would result in us being here . All I
want is for him to be supportive , it’s not much ,
even if he comes and sees her for a little bit
with fliers only in his hand its fine. I just want
my daughter to be loved by both parents .
Something I didn’t have while growing up and
that is love from both parents .

“Come here “I place her on my lap and kiss her

forehead after I have sat down . I don’t regret
going against Sakhile’s wishes .Would I have
this beautiful creature in front of me ? I doubt .

CHAPTER TWO

It’s crazy how we are both here in the court

room while waiting on what the judge would
say. His family is here , Sakhile never really
grew up around a female figure , no he once did
have a female figure in his life . His mother but
she was on the wrong end of a taxi war
resulting in her dying when he was just 5 years
old which makes him the only child . He grew
up being surrounded by his Uncles and cousins,
Amasoka ngisho njalo . He once had a good
caring heart, it was very golden . I still believe
that deep down, his heart is still Golden like
before . I can’t take my eyes off him , we as a
family are here including my grandmother . She
wanted to see this boy clearly , the one who
impregnanted me , the one who disrespects her
in this way , the Man who still has my heart
captured . The man I still love till this day .

“Ubaba “Owami points at Sakhile who is

standing by the stand looking at the judge, he is
not in boxers. He is dressed up today and it
suits him quiet well. I turn to Nosi who is
looking at him with anger and disgust on her
face. I turn to the front as well.

“Sakhile Ndlovu “the Judge says and looks at

him , she takes off her glasses .

“Awondli ngani ngempela ? “

“I sent money “

“Yes 5 months ago , the statement is here

brought to me by Ms Bhengu , you are clearly
wasting my time “
“You and me then”

She gives him an intense stare .

“Owami Bhengu is acknowledged as your

daughter by this birth certificate and she does
look like you so you cannot deny that .”she puts
the certificate down .

“I didn’t want the baby , Slie can take care of it “

“Yeyi wena ! the government didn’t sleep with

your baby mama and impregnant her , you did
Ndlovu . Ms Bhengu standup “I stand up and go
forth to the other side of the room and stand on
the podium. Sakhile looks at me and I swallow.

“You know this man ?”She points at Sakhile .

“Yes your honour “I reply

“Do you work ?”I shake my head

“No, your honour “

Sakhile mumbles something .

“ Uyakhuluma ?”The Judge asks “Cha “Sakhile

replies .

“Cha udonga yini ?”She asks fixing her glasses

.”No your HONOUR “he emphises the word with
a little attitude.

“I will come back to you and your attitude ,

Akukhona kini lah wena Sakhile .”She is loosing
her patience .

“How old is Owami ?”

“3 years old your honour “ I reply . She nods .

“we are budgeting ,crèche , food and clothes ,

medical expenses …..”

Sakhile interrupts her .

“ Medical expenses ? Public Clinics and

hospitals are available “

“Ngiyakhuluma Sakhile , ungangiphazamisi.

Ikwam lah “

She looks at him, he is silent .She carries on .

“ And lunch box ngoba uyaphapha . That sums

up to R 1000 in my list, is that ok sisi?”
That’s more than enough , I wasn’t expecting
that much .

“Yes your honour “

“Good then . Sakhile Ndlovu is issued to Pay R

1000 per month on the 25 of every month end,
if payments are not fulfilled within 5 working
days he shall appear in the court of the law.”

She looks at Sakhile .

“Uzwile ?”

“Yes, your honour “I look at him. He has his

Jaws clenched, he is not happy with the Judge’s
verdict.

“If he doesn’t fulfill the given dates or he

doesn’t pay at all, bring him back uzongazi “

“Yes, your honour “ I say.

“Visitation rights are 5 days a week from 9am to

5 pm. If he doesn’t abind by these rights he shall
appear in court of the Law, understood ?”

“Yes, your honour “we both say and she bangs

the gavel .
“Case dismissed “

Everyone stands up on their feet, she walks out

of the court room and I make my way to Nosi .

“Kwahamba kahle , uyadelela lomfana (

everything went well, that boy is disrespectful
)”Gogo says

“Too much “Nosi adds.

“Let’s leave “I say .I want to be out of here ,we

take our bags and make our way out of the
court room. Sakhile is still fueled up, his father
is trying to calm him down . Owami pulls my
dress.

“Funu Pona uBaba( I want to see dad )”God

please be with me in this time of need .

“Ok , ubuye “she let go of my hand .

“Uyaphi ?”My grandmother asks.

“She wants to see her father “she clicks her

tongue.

“If it was up to me I would have never made

her see him again. “
“He is still her father at the end of the day. “

“You always have a soft spot for him Slie and its
irritating at times .”Nosi says irritated.

I ignore her statement and look at Owami who

gets engulfed by her grandfather. She is smiling
which makes me happy , lightens my mood as
well. I don’t know what they are talking about
but Bab’Ndlovu takes out his wallet while
handing Owami to Sakhile who is a bit hesitant
in taking her , I don’t want her to be
disappointed at this age . My smile fades a bit
thinking about the pain my daughter will face if
her father was not in her life.

“Are you ok ?”Nosi asks.

“Yes “ I reply

“Ugogo ukhala ngeqolo , uDumisani

uzosihambisa , niyeza ?(Grandma is
complaining about her back , Dumisani is
taking us home . are you coming ?”

“I will catch a taxi with Owami “

She takes out her wallet and gives me R50.

“Ok , here is some money “

“Thank you “

She nods and walks off . I find the bench and sit
down waiting for Owami to finish up .

“Ndodakazi “ I look to who is calling me and its

Bab’Ndluvu .

“Baba “

“How are you ?”

“I am well and yourself ?”

“I am well”

There was silence between us .

“Uyafana Nogogo wakhe ( she looks exactly like

her grandmother )”he says .

I am silent before he proceeds into his

statement “Sakhile’s mother .” A very sensitive
topic . He sits next to me. This man’s aura is
very unsettling. He pulls his black trousers up a
bit revealing the black and grey checkered
socks. His scent Is filled with Nicotine, his wrists
are filled with a white and brown Goat skin on
both sides, I wouldn’t be surprised if he goes to
Isangoma ukuyoqinisa . He runs his fingers on
his black and grey beard showing that he is
aging, grey overpowering the rest of the black
colour.

“Asihlawulanga “might as well forget with

Sakhile on that. “ He is a bit hard headed kodwa
umbekezelele bandla ( but please be patient
with him )”I just nodded out of respect , I look
at Owami and Sakhile . He is loosening up a bit
while talking to Owami. At least he doesn’t take
out his anger on her, I wonder if Sakhile doesn’t
love Owami because she looks just like her
grandmother ?

“Baphi abanye ?”His father asks .

“They have left, we will catch a taxi “

“Sakhile will take you home “

Me and Sakhile in the same car, it doesn’t sit

well with me. I don’t know what he might do,
his angry face scares me as it is .

“No, we will take the taxi thank you “I smile

saying politely

“Ngeke Zikhona imoto Zakwa Gatseni ,

MaNgcolosi “he stood up and went towards his
Family members and Sakhile , he pulls him on
the side and starts talking . He is listening
attentively to his father who is speaking firmly,
it’s not an ask but a command. Sakhile is
defeated and only nods his head saying “Yebo
Gatseni, ngiyakuzwa .”His father gives him
Keys and he takes them into his hand. They look
my direction and I look away holding to my
bag, I put the R50 in my bag before I loose it.
His cologne hits my nostrils so nicely, it hasn’t
changed , it gives the air new flavor as well.

“Slie “I look up to him and he is keeping his

gaze on me .

“Sakhile “That’s all I manage to utter .

“Let’s go “I can’t read his tone . I stand up from

the bench and he walks off , I follow and wave
at his father .

“Nihambe kahle (bye)“I say

“Sobonana Ndodakazi (we shall see each other

my daughter)“
I nod and follow Sakhile out of the court house ,
I clench on my bag as the sun is penetrating my
eyes painfully , I squint them so they could
adjust to the light as I follow after Sakhile , we
walk down a few steps and out into the street
we go we walk beside the pedestrian walk way
before we cross the road to the other side and
he opens the car and puts Owami at the back ,
the sight is heart warming . I decided to join
Owami at the back as well. He stands there
looking at the both of us .

“Slie. “

“Mmh ?”

“Get in front. “He is commanding me . I get off

the back and go to the front, my nervous kick in
. I get in and close the door and he does so as
well. He starts the car and drives off , its silent
before he fiddles with the radio and some
music plays , its lightening the tension inside
the car . I steal glances from him and he looks at
me and I look away .

“Ngisazoyibamba lengane yakini ( I am going to

get your cousin )”I swallow .

“Oh akusakhulumeki ?( Oh you can't talk

anymore)He asks .

“What do you want me to say ?”I ask and he

chuckles .

“Indaba ungamfuni uOwami ?”I had to ask . He

becomes silent instantly and doesn’t say
anything .

“Why would you say that ?”he asks .

“If I followed your orders I am sure you would

be happy “

“I don’t hate Owami Slie , I can’t . It’s just that I

am not ready to be a father and take on all
responsibilities . You forced that on me “

“ I didn’t “I say softly

“You did Sllindokuhle ….like you just got me

arrested so I can pay bloody maintainance
every month . where will that money come
from ? You think I am some billionaire waiting
on you to give me a child so I can spend my
hard worked money on it , No!”

He is pissed off .

“She is listening “

“Yeah Kumele ezwe how selfish you are !“

“I am not Sakhile “
He keeps quiet . i am not selfish , when he said I
am I felt a pang of hurt . He clicks his tongue .
“Sure whatever you think “I keep quiet .

“Mama “

I look behind me to Owami , I could feel the

tears in the verge of coming out but I stop them
.

“Nana “

“Uphi Gogo(where is gogo ?)”

“Ekhaya(home) “

She nods and keeps her silence .

“Sobantu or Sweetwater ?”

“Sweetwater “ I say softly and he nods .

The whole car ride is very silent . No one is

talking to anyone which is preferable , How do
I still love this man after all of this ? I ask
myself and yet I don’t want to answer anything
about that Question . we enter sweet water and
I start easing up that this ride is about to come
to an end .
“Kulaphi edladleni?( Where is your home ?)” he
asks calmly this time .

“You can drop us at the stop “I say .

“I want to know your home Slie , yeka

inkani(stop being stubborn) “there we go .

“Carry on driving then “ he listens to me for the

first time today , silence still consumes the
whole car .
I keep on directing him until we reach home .
He parks the car and looks towards the yard at
our RDP then he looks at Owami then me . I
look away and take off the seat belt and cling
on my hand bag .

“Thank you “ I utter and open the door getting

out . I take Owami from the back and I close the
door . I make my way inside the yard not
turning back, I hear the car starting before it
drives off . I open the door and Gogo looks at
me while closing the curtain .

“Slindokuhle “she says in a warning tone .

“Gogo “

“I don’t like that boy “she says

“He just gave us a lift “

She shook her head .

“Put her down .” I put Owami down and she

rushes off to the kitchen . “Is Nosi here ?”I ask
,probably not .

“No , she left with the police man . uqomile yini

naye? (is she dating him ?)”I shrugged though I
knew they are dating .

“Ubombuza (you can ask her )”she gives me a

look like she could read that I know something .

“Let me go and change “I walked off to our

bedroom. I threw myself on the bed, I opened
my phone , the one that was bought by Sakhile
for me . I went onto Facebook and I saw his
post, it says “ Mawungifuna uzongithola
kwaHlophe (if you need me you will find me at
Hlophe’s )” . I shook my head and logged off, I
closed my eyes sighing. Parenting is not so easy,
at all and Sakhile gives me a Headache on top of
everything.

I sat up from the bed and changed before

walking to the kitchen to make something to eat
.
“Wami ulambile ?(Owami are you hungry ?)”.i
ask her and she nods

“Ok then “I took out some bread and peanut

butter and her plastic bowel and made
sandwiches for her before I could start cooking
, I know my grandmother’s back is not
functioning well these days , it comes and goes .
I make some juice for her as well and she
thanks me before walking off to go and eat. I
take the cabbage and Maize meal before I could
start cooking well for supper, I make a
sandwich for myself and munch on it while I
am starting with the cooking.

CHAPTER THREE

“Bring your shoes “She gets off the bed and Nosi
is looking at us while laying on it . she gets her
pumps and I get her on the bed before I put
shoes on her.

“Niyaphi(Where are you going ) ?”Nosi asks .

“Sobantu , Mom wants to see us “She nods.

“If Sakhile says anything , you tell me . I am not
scared of him mina “I laugh .

“I will tell you “I take my bag and then get

Owami down from the bed .

“Bye, bye aunty “Owami waves at Nosi .

“Wozo cabuza (come kiss)”she goes and gives

Nosi a kiss. We make our way out after that.

“Nisale kahle Gogo!” I say before we walk out.

We get to the stop and wait for a taxi to come
and it does. We both hop inside and it drives off
to town. I placed Owami on my lap and she
rested her head. I kissed her forehead.

“Are you ok?” She nods.

I pay our fine and get my change back. We get

to town and we walked to the Taxi rank for
Sobantu. Once we got inside we went to the
women who are selling and I bought a Banana
for Owami and some peaches as well. I bought
chips as well, I opened the banana for her and
we walked through the taxi rank to catch the
Sobantu taxis. Owami pulls my hand as we are
about to reach Sobantu , please can it not be
what I think it is about. We stop by the Man
who was washing a taxi.
“Afunu buya “She says.

“Mmh?” I stop and look at her, she starts

gagging.

“Sisterr mbhekise Ngala (turn her this side)“the

man says and I do so at his bucket, she starts
vomiting inside. She stops and starts again.

“Baby khipha lah futhi (vomit here)”I direct her

and she starts vomiting again and holds her
head.

“Ahlungu mama(it hurts Mama) “she cries and

vomits again, blood this time and I am
panicking, I put my bag down.

“She needs the hospital “I take out my phone to

call Nosi , tears stream down my cheeks .

My hands are shaking as well while I rub her

back, she keeps complaining about her head
hurting. Nosi doesn’t answer. I put my phone
down and I take her top off and wipe her
mouth with it, it’s dirty as well.

“Kwenzakalani lah?(what’s going on here?)”

“Groot man icwane…(the child…)”

“Slie “I look up and it’s Sakhile, he picks up
Owami into his arms and she rests her head on
his shoulder while crying. I am a crying mess as
well, still trying to register that my daughter
vomiting blood.

“Ibihlanza igazi (she was vomiting blood)” The

driver says to my rescue, I can’t utter anything
at this moment. I am still in shock and feel
defeated.

“Zwakala ngizonihambisa(come I will take you

to the hospital ) “ I am shook that Sakhile
would offer that .

He walks off and I collect our things and thank

the Driver who offered his bucket water to us,
he nods and takes it away. I follow after Sakhile
who goes to the back of the Taxi rank and opens
his car, I get seated with Owami at the back. I
am caressing her as she silently cries. I cry with
her.

“Kubuhlungu kuphi Wawa?(where does it hurt

Owami ?)”

She points that her head, I think she is

experiencing a headache. I brush her face.
Sakhile is silent while driving off, he is silent
but keeps on stealing glances at us. He drove off
to Edendale side, I don’t say anything. He is
offering to drive us to the hospital. We get to
Edandale Hospital and it’s a delay, once we are
in we are told to wait. We fill in forms and he is
still here with us, its appreciated . He holds
Owami while I fill in her information.

“Slindokuhle !”I look up and its Mam’Zikhali ,

she has some papers In her hand and comes my
way clenching onto her bag . I smile at her and
she does the same. She reaches us.

“Awu, ufunani lah?(what are you doing

here?)”She looks between me and Sakhile who
doesn’t seem interested.

“Are you done filling out?”Sakhile asks clearly

annoyed. I nod and he takes them going away.

“Ubani Lowa ? usunesoka?(who is that? Do you

have a boyfriend?)”Oh Lord please save me.

“Ubaba ka Owami(it's Owami’s father) “

“Oh Ngiyabona , Uyena mfana ohlaza lowa .
uqinisile kona uGogo wakho (Oh I see , he is the
rude boy .Your grandmother was right)”she
shakes her head. Oh so they gossip about
Sakhile .

“Bengilethe uAmahle , ushay’we isoka lakhe ,

kade ngimkhuza ayeke lowa Mhlola (I brought
Amahle , She was hit by her Boyfriend . I have
been telling her to leave that man)”

“Oh “

That’s what I settle for.

“Ayi othi ngikushiye iyobonana(let me leave

you , I will see you )”

“Yebo Mah”she walks off and I sigh. I sit there

alone for some time .After an hour Sakhile
comes back and he sits down. I am silent and so
as him.

“They took her blood samples “

I nodded. I hope there is nothing serious, my

phone rings and I rummage through my bag
before taking it out. Its Nosi, I answer .

“Nosi “

“I saw your missed call, I was bathing , what’s

wrong ?”

“Owami was vomiting blood “

“Where are you?”

“Edendale hospital “

“Ok, ngizoyo gibela manje , ngiyeza ( I am going

to catch a taxi , I am coming )”

“Ok “

She hangs up and I put my phone away.

“I am leaving now, I am sure you can take it

from here “

He hands Owami to me be before standing up,

he dusts himself .

“Yes, thank you “he nods and checks his phone.

“Sho Ke “

He walks off, I look his direction. Where he

disappeared off to. I look at Owami who is
sleeping on my chest and I sigh, she is still
breathing by how her chest is moving up and
down. We sit there for another hour and I see
Nosi approaching us.

“Oh Nkosi yam “she sits next to us before

brushing Owami’s hair . She looks at me.
“Do you know what’s wrong?”

“Not as yet “

She nods as we wait, I finally get called in and

we went after the nurse, they got a bed for
Owami and laid her on it. They inserted a drip
on her.

“Her test results will be back after 3 Days “I

nodded.

“What is wrong?”

“You have to back tomorrow for that because

Dr Naidoo the Pediatrician is currently not here
today “The nurse says.

“What do you think it is?”Nosi asks.

“Angazi , nami angiyena udokotela wengane

sisi ( I don’t know , I am not a Children’s Dr )”

Nosi is fueled up. “Wait an hour then after she

will be discharged “she walked off, I took a
chair and sat down as I looked around to all of
these kids laying here. Instead of looking like
they are getting better it looks worse to me. I
look away and touch Owami.
“She will be ok “. Nosi says and I just nod .

“I hope so.” We wait an hour and she gets

discharged from the Hospital , They gave me a
card and just wrote that she must come back
tomorrow and has to see Dr Naidoo. We went to
the mall to catch a taxi back home. I felt
exhausted. I took out my phone to call my
mother and I informed her about Owami’s
situation and she kind of understood but left it
like that. We got to the stop and we got out
walking home, Gogo was puzzled as to why we
came back early and today .

“Nashesha nabuya boh(you came back early)

“She says .

“U-Owami uyagula , Kumele siphendele

esbhedlela futhi ksasa ( Owami is sick and we
have to return to the hospital tomorrow )” Nosi
explains .

“Whats wrong ?”

“Nathi asazi (we also don’t know )”

“Bring her here “ I hand over Owami to my

grandmother .

“Where is the pain ?”

“Her head “I say and she puts her head there
and starts praying .

“Lord almighty , we come to you bringing your

child , heal her from all the sicknesses and
pains she is enduring . Wathi ezwini lakho baba
, ngemvimbo yakho siphilisiwe . Philisa u-
Owami wethu njengoba esezinhlungwini ,
umkhulule kuzona . Amen “

“Amen !”we open our eyes and she stands up .

“She will sleep with me tonight “

We nod as she walks off to put her on the bed ,

its stressing me that I don’t know what's going
on with Owami .

“We will see tomorrow “

I nodded sighing and walked off to our

bedroom to go and change , Sakhile hasn’t
called to check how everything is , is he caring
or he just couldn’t leave me like that? I don’t
understand him now but I am appreciative of
what he did. I hear a beep on my phone and I
take it, it’s a message from him.

“I sent in Money “it’s not Month end as yet.

“Thank you “I send a message and put my
phone away, Nosi walks in the bedroom.

“Sakhile sent in some money “I look at her.

“He should vele, I don’t play “

She throws her bag on the bed and lays on it

sighing . I feel like that right now . I feel like
everything won’t make any sense from here on
wards regarding Owami . I just hope it’s
nothing serious.

We headed to the hospital the next day, very

early so we could be on time. Doctor Naidoo
came in a bit late at the hospital. We got to see
her first as well, she asked us Questions
regarding Owami’s health and the things that
were happening yesterday and we explained .
she couldn’t explain what it really was for a
child , she concluded it to a Mild Migraine and
also she might be allergic to weather changes as
the headaches won’t stop as well. She gave me a
letter that I have to go to Northdale so she can
get a head scan to check if it’s nothing serious . I
didn’t get any medication for her though when I
thought maybe they would give me some
medication in the mean time . I took a journey
from Edendale to Northdale Hospital so I would
know what’s really wrong with Owami. We
caught a Taxi to town and it dropped us at the
Rank and I walked inside and headed to the far
end of it. I got to the taxi drivers upfront while
holding Owami’s hand .

“Is it heading to Northdale Hospital ?”I always

want to make sure .

“Yebo sisi ngena lah ( get in here )”I nod

thanking them and I get inside the taxi . I lay
Owami on me once I have taken the money out
of my bag . I look at her .

“You feel like vomiting?”She shook her head

lightly but she touched it .

“Kuhlungu lah(It hurts here )”She points at her

head , I rub her head .

“Ncese (sorry )”

I kissed her forehead. The taxi started getting

full and in no time it took off . I paid our
amount and got my change . I looked out of the
window, I hope the job at Parklane pulls
through for me so I wouldn’t bother Sakhile
with maintainance every month . I didn’t want
to bother him in the first place but Nosi and my
Grandmother insisted. I really am struggling
but I believe if other women can do it, so can I if
I tried my level best . I brush her cheek with my
fingers and sigh as I watch her sleep .

We get dropped off at the Hospital and we

make our way inside the reception area . I wait
for my turn a bit before its my turn . I search
for the note I was given to by Dr Naidoo and I
found it inside my bag . I handed it over .

“That side , Talk to that Nurse she will direct

you “I nodded and turned going to the nurse
who was walking off clearly going somewhere
.”excuse me “I said and she stopped .

“Hi , I was directed to come to you as you might

help me “she takes my Note and looks at it . I
adjust Owami properly in my arms .

“ngilandele (follow me )”I follow after her and

we walk in silence through the hospital
corridors. I look at Owami for a minute before I
look at this Nurse who is still holding my letter.
We walk through big long doors and she stops .

“She is here for a Scan ?”

“Yes”I replied and she nodded and turned

walking towards this Dr . she handed the note
to her and she took it .
“Oh I see , I will take it from here “she says and
the nurse nods and walks off . she gets up from
her chair .

“You can sit down , I will take her “

I sat on the bench , she took Owami and walked

off through another door as it closed . I waited ,
waited for them . I clenched on my bag and
breathed out . I am not leaving without them
telling me what is wrong with her. After some
time they come back and she hands woke
Owami to me and she is crying .

“Here are her printed scans for the Dr to see

properly . Please go to Dr Ntanzi she will look at
it “

I stood up .

“Thank you “She nodded . I take Owami from

her arms and she runs her fingers wiping her
face before Owami rests her head on my
shoulder. I walked out and made my way
through the hospital, I asked one of the nurses
where Dr Ntanzi could be and He directed me . I
went according to the directions and I got to the
room, I firstly knocked before a come in was
shouted. I got inside and she stood up , young
and seems vibrant and pretty she is. She smiled
.
“New baby “I didn’t know what to say .

“Good afternoon “I say .

“Good afternoon , how may I be of assistance?”I

handed over the note and the brown big
envelope and she took them . “Have a seat
please “She is very nice . I sat down and she
does the same as well, she wears her glasses
and runs her fingers on the note then looks at
Owami’s head scan .

“Batheni Edeni?(what did they say at Edendale

Hospital?)”

“They said it might be a Mild Migraine or due to

weather change because she vomited blood
yesterday “She shook her head .

“Its not a Migraine , it looks like a Brain tumor

to me , Buka lah (Look here )”She came closer to
me .

“You see this dark patch in the middle ?”

“Yes “I reply

“That’s the tumor “My body just went cold .

“Oh”

“We just need to know what kind of tumor it is,

just a brain tumor or is it cancerous “

I swear I wanted to cry. Cancer is a big word for

me and I feel scared just from it.

“She has a headache?”

“Ye…Yes “My throat was dry.

“What other symptoms?”She took an

instrument and came to stand in front of me.

“I haven’t seen anything more “She nods and

lights the torch in her eyes then her ears.

“Ubani igama lakhe? (What’s her name)”She

took Owami’s file and she looked through it
before turning back to us.

“Owami Buka u-aunty (Owami look at

aunty)”she did as told.

“How are you feeling?”

She touches her head .

“We don’t know what type of tumor it is, she
will have to come back next week for another
checkup “I felt defeated, I just nodded and stood
up. She put the scans in the enevelope and gave
it to me .

“keep it well”

“I will “she nodded “thank you “she smiled

“you are welcome “

I walked out and made my way through the

corridors, I felt like they were closing in on me.
I looked at my daughter. I pray they are making
some sort of mistake. I take out my phone and
call Nosi , I can’t wait any longer , she answers
by luck .

“Mntase kuhambe kanjani ?(how did it go?)”

“They said she has a brain tumor Nosi , Igama

elingaka enganeni yami , ngizwe necancer yazi
ngiphelelwa amandla (Such a big word upon
my child , I heard even Cancer you know I feel
defeated )”

“woah bathe iCancer!?(Woah they said its

cancer!?)”She exclaims.
“Bathe kungaba iyona , sesiyobuya ngesonto
elizayo bayongitsela (They said ut might be , We
will hear next week. They will tell me)”

“I don’t know what to say “I don’t know either. I

walk out of the hospital and go to the stop.

“I think I should tell Sakhile “she is silent after I

have said that.

“Would he care ?”She asks .

“He is still Owami’s father at the end of the day

Nosi he needs to know whether he cares or not.
It’s his right “she clicks her tongue.

“Tell him, it’s your child after all “

“Ungasho njalo (don’t say that)”

She keeps quiet.

“I will see you Slie “I nod as I see the taxi

approaching.

“Ok, I love you “

“You know I love you “

“I know “I say softly, she hangs up and the taxi
stops next to me and other people who are
waiting for it. We hop inside and I sit at the
back. It moves with us and I send the money off.
I look at Owami who is sleeping once more, I
guess she can’t take the headache pain. We got
to town and got off at the taxi rank . I walk to
find Sakhile , I need to tell him before I go home
as already I am here . I see him talking to
someone and seems like they are having a good
chat , I gathered courage and walked up to
them . He looked at me and I swallowed . I got
to them .

“sanibonani (hello)”He didn’t reply but his

friend did.

“Ngizokubona Ndoda(I will see you man)”His

friend says patting him on his shoulder before
he walks off . Sakhile puts his hands in his
pocket and looks at me .

“Slie “He says firmly , I swallow . I don’t have

the courage to stand in front of him anymore .

“Sakhile “My voice breaks trying to utter his

name.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing “

“So why are you here?I sent in the money

yesterday”Tears weld in my eyes as I look at
Owami then him .

“O...Owami is sick “he is silent and I carry on .

“They she has a brain tumor “

“I can’t fix that Slie , I am not God “

“Ngiyazi,( I know) I just wanted to inform you

so ungathi angishongo( you won’t say I didn’t
tell you ). We are going to the hospital next
week again “

I breathe out, he scratched his head

“Ok”

“I will know clearly next week “

He nods.

“Sho ke “

I nod and turn .”Slindo “

I turn to him and he takes out a R100 note and
hands it to me.

“Go home “I nodded

“Thank you “

He nodded and walked off. I watched him and

then looked at the money before walking off. let
me buy some chips for Owami to chew on while
we head home . She hasn’t eaten since we left
home and I am sure she is hungry .

CHAPTER FOUR

We are back at it again, sitting on the benches

inside this hospital. Waiting to be called and
figure out what is really wrong with my
daughter. I didn’t explain much to my
grandmother so I wouldn’t stress her as much. I
am also not trying to stress her as well. It’s been
a Month of me going to hospitals, in and out yet
no one could answer what’s wrong with my
daughter. I didn’t get the job, I couldn’t because
my daughter needed someone who would take
her to the hospital every time she got called, my
grandmother couldn’t do it on her own. They
would just confuse her and ending in us getting
the wrong information, I watch as the nurse
pushes a very sick patient on a wheel chair. He
looks frail and pale as well, I wonder what
Sickness has him down like that. He looks old as
well.

“Yeyi wena Hamba uye emnyango angina

ukhala ngelanga !(Hey go outside , you were
asking for the sun !)”The Nurse scolds the
patient who is leaning against the wall being
tired from walking, she gets to him.

“Angikufakanga lah hamba !( I didn’t bring you

here go )”She shushes him into going outside ,
she is impatient with him and surely chose the
wrong profession for such behavior . I swallow
as I look and feel sorry for the patient.

“OWAMI BHENGU!” I stand up holding Owami’s

hand as she does the same. We follow after the
Doctor and she closes the door. We sit down
and she goes around her desk.

“Yah Owami (Hey Owami)”The Doctor smiles

and I do the same as well.

“Niyaphila?(Are you fine ?)”

“Yes we are ok.” Just this up and down matter
.She grabs Owami’s file.

“Well sitholile ukuthi yini leh emphethe uNana

(Well we have found what is wrong with
Nana)”she looked at me.

“After conducting some tests as well, we…. We

have pinned and stopped at the matter that she
has Glioblastoma Multiforme “

“What is that?”

“It’s an aggressive type of Cancer” I am shook, I

swallow while looking at Owami then back at
the Doctor.

“She is young for that “My voice breaks, I clear

my throat. She shakes her head and takes her
Brain scan and looks at it.

“She is, it would have been better if it was just a

brain tumor or something lighter in Cancer, this
type of cancer is not good I am afraid.”

I looked at her, I want to cry. I looked at Owami.

“Ca...Can you explain further what Glib...”

“Glioblastom , as I have said , it’s an aggressive

type of cancer that starts in the cells called
Astrocytes which is there to support your nerve
cells. It can form in your brain or Spinal cord
which is where your nerves cells are found “

She takes her notepad and pen and starts to

write down.

“She has some symptoms, Next month she must

go Greys Hospital. They deal with Cancer cases.
They will help.” I nod

“Thank you “I stand up and she smiles.

“You are welcome.” I walk out while holding

Owami’s hand, my mind is not here anymore
.It’s on the matter that the doctor displayed for
me . I am not feeling ok, I feel like I am loosing
my mind. She pulls my hand and I look down to
her as she shyly folds her lips playing with
them.

“Mama”

“Wawa”She looks down.

“Cela ships (Can I have chips)”I nod and sighed.

I carry her once we reach the outside, I go and

buy her some chips and she thanks me, I smile
at her as I wait from my change from the selling
lady. I get my change and I turn around
stopping myself from moving an inch from
where I am. He is looking at us while leaning
against his car with hands buried deep in his
pockets, I swallow before he moves towards us
and his nicotine scent invades my nostrils
mixed with his perfume. He stretches his hands
to Owami who happily falls into his arms
before he looks down on me.

“Slindokuhle” I breathe out.”Sakhile”

“Let’s go” He turns and walks towards his car,

he opens the door for Owami and get her inside.
He closes the door and he turns back to me,
waiting for me.

I put the money in my bag before walking

towards him and he opens the door for me, I get
inside and he goes around the car to the
driver’s side and gets inside. He starts the car
and drives off. Silence consumes the whole car,
I don’t know what to say. I have been telling
him about Owami’s Hospital visits and also
informed him that I might get what’s going on
with her today. I smile Non-of the less because
this means he is coming around with being a
father to Owami, he plays some music and
looks at Owami through the review mirror
before turning to me and I look away from his
eyes.

“You are still beautiful” I blushed off.

“Thank you” He smiled a bit.

“Batheni?” He asks.

I heave a heavy sigh.

“They said she has Cancer” He ran his fingers

on his face, I am waiting for his response.

“Cancer?” I nod.

“I see” There is silence. ”I am confused”

I am the confused one at the moment.

“Do you know what stage it is?”

“They will tell me when I visit Greys hospital,

they will give me full feedback as they deal with
Cancer”

“I don’t know how to feel about this”

“Me too” He looks at me then back on the road.

“Mmmh”

His phone rang and he took it out of his pocket

and looks at it before switching it off and put it
back in his pocket.

“Mama” I look at Owami and she hands the

chips over to me and I open them for her before
handing it back to her.

“Sobantu?” He asks.

“No, Sweetwater” He nods his head, his phone

rings again and he answers it.

“I am driving, sokhuluma(We will talk)” He puts

his phone away.

I looked out of the window as he drove, we

reached Sweetwater soon after. He helped us
with a lift today going back home, I don’t think
my mind would have been in a right state to
take a taxi after what I heard. He parks the car
in front of the gate and I unbuckle my seat belt.

“Thank you” I say and open the car door.

“Slie” I turned to him. “Can we talk?”

What does he wants us to talk about? I think we

have covered everything that concerns Owami.
“Ok”

“Close the door” I did as I am told and look at

him in a questioning manner.

He shifts on his seat so he could look at me

properly; Owami is asleep leaning on the seat
belt for support onto her head. I look back at
him and his eyes are still on me, he holds my
hands into his and I feel fuzzy from that
gesture.

“Slindo”

“Sakhile” I say, he lets out a sigh.

“I am sorry”

“For?” I squint my eyes; I have never expected

that from him.

“For everything, Owami and us. “

Silence consumes the whole car; I don’t know

what to say after his apology.

“It’s ok Sakhile” I smile and he returns the

gesture.
“You are wonderful you know” I blushed shying
away.

“Thank you”

He shifts still locking my hands in his and he

looks at them and then lays a kiss on them.

“I love you Nana” He looks at me.”Sakhile” I say

softly.

“I love you, I never stopped it’s just things got

complicated between us, I can’t and couldn’t
love another woman the way I love you Slindo.
I want you back in my life baby”

He loves me still, I thought he detested me after

I birthed Owami, after I chose her over him, us.
He looks genuine, I love him too, so much and I
have never stopped. After 3 years he still did
things to me no man can do just by being in his
presence. He holds my cheek and leans
forward licking his lips while looking at me, his
face is close to mine and our lips are almost
touching. He kisses them and it takes me back
to how soft his have always been, a dish that
you craved even though you are indulging in it.
He breaks it off and runs his thumb on my
upper lip while smirking a bit.
“I love you too and I am sorry” His eyes are
glossy as well, a tear drops from it and I wipe it
from his face.

“Don’t cry”

“I want you back Slie” His voice is breaking; I

sigh and look at Owami.

“She needs both parents”

He is right, she needs them both.

“Sakhile”

“Do you love me?” He asks.

“I do” I have never stopped.

“Ok then” He looks at me.

“I have to go” He nods and perks my lips before

I open the door and I get out, I go to the back
and take Owami.

“Ngizokubona Sthandwa Sam (I will see you my

love)”

“Ok”I nod and close the door, I feel like smiling

a bit but I contain myself. This day is full of
surprises , I always loved and still love , he the
first man to touch me in many ways possible
that make my body weak. I love him now still;
he saw his mistake and is trying to rectify it. I
walk inside the yard and I open the door. The
reality of my daughter’s sickness sinks in.

“We are back”

“How did it go?” Nosi asks as she sits up from

the couch, Gogo stops folding the washing and
looks at me, I sigh and sit down. Gogo takes
Owami from my hands and I just burst into
tears.
Nosi comes towards me and engulfs me into a
hug, I cry on her shoulder as the pain my
daughter would go through from all of this.

“Shh”

“Sh...She has cancer” I say

“Awu Nkosi!” My grandmother exclaims. I

break free from Nosi’s hold.

“She will be fine” I shake my head.

“I don’t know” I say

“She will be “She says.

I looked at her as we shared a hug once more. I

need one at this moment.

A few days passed, Owami went to crèche as

Normal and we all still haven’t registered her
diagnosed with Cancer, I explained it to them
and my grandmother believed she will be fine
through God, I hope so as well. Sakhile and I?
Well we have talked our differences out and
sorted everything out. We are officially back
together, I don’t see myself without him and he
is proving himself in the process, he said he will
come by and see us when he gets off from the
taxi rank; this is the kind of relationship I have
been longing for. My grandmother walked in
the kitchen while I was cooking Super for later
on, I have to go and fetch Owami, Nosi went
away to her boyfriend’s place for some time
and I am a bit glad because Sakhile is coming
and I don’t want the Squabbling .

“You are always happy these days” Can’t I be

happy?

I carry on with what I doing and I open the pots

before closing them after I have checked on
them.

“Are you dating?”

“Gogo!” I say

“I know these things Slindokuhle” She says

“How?”

“I have been in love once upon a time”

I giggle and wipe my hands before giving her

my full attention.

“Once upon a time”

“Tell me “She says

“I am seeing someone”

“Who is it?”

I clear my throat looking away from her eyes.

“Sa...”

“I can’t hear you Slindokuhle”

“It’s Sakhile”

“Which Sakhile, Slie?”Her eyes are squinted

and she has her hands on her hips.

“Ubaba ka Owami(Owami’s father)” She

clapped her hands.

“Kubobonke abafana abakhona emhlabeni

uthatha ulwabishi Slindokuhle!?(Out of all the
boys in the world you take that rubbish
Slindokuhle?)”

“I am sorry”

“Why? mmmh ,Why?”

“I love him Gogo, so much and now that we are

back together it makes me happy. I am happy”
She holds her head looking at me.

“Slindokuhle”

“He is coming to see us in the afternoon”

She clapped her hands and walked off” I don’t

have any words” that’s all she said. I sighed
after she left and went back to my pots. I
finished up and then left to go and fetch Owami
from the crèche nearby, I got there and greeted
the care takers.

“How are you?”

“We are well. Owami has been feeling a bit
weak. Her speech is a bit slurped as well”

I looked at Owami who was laying on the

mattress.

“I am sure she is just tired” I smiled and went to

take Owami.

“Come baby”

I took her from the mattress and went to take

her bag, I thank the care givers as I walked off. I
looked at my daughter and she looks pale. I kiss
her forehead.

“Everything will be ok”

I was telling myself that. I am trying to convince

myself that everything will be ok with her. We
got home and I walked to my grandmother’s
bedroom and laid her there.

“Wawa are you ok?”

She pointed at her head. ”Let me get some

water for you”

I walked off and went to the kitchen, I got the

water for her and my Grandmother walked in
from outside.
“She is not feeling well”

“I think she should stop going to crèche till we

have some medication to help her”

I nodded and turned

“Slindokuhle I don’t like that boy”

“I hear you”

I walked off to the bedroom, I sat on the bed.

“Come and drink some water”

She sits up and comes to drink some water

before she lies back on the bed. I look at her
close her small eyes. I got off the bed and
walked off to the kitchen. My phone rings and I
look at it before I answer it.

“Gatseni” I say

“I am outside”

“It’s not the afternoon”

“I got time to come and see you, come”

“Ok” I smile and hang up, I rushed to the

kitchen and placed the cup and walked out. He
was standing by his car in tracksuits and a cap,
that makes him look handsome than ever. I get
to him.

“Hey” he pulls me in close to him by my waist

and lays a perk on my lips.

“My heart” he says and I smile.

“Umuhle yazi (You are beautiful you know)”I

hid myself on his chest.

“Hey look at me”

I lifted my head to look at him.

“I love you”

“I love you too” I looked into his eyes. He turns

me around and holds me from behind.

“My grandmother would kill us” I say

“Let’s get inside then” He says, I nod in

agreement and he opens the door for me. I get
inside and he gets in his side.
“Owami is asleep, she is not well”

“I will see her another day then”

I nodded. ”When will you visit me?”

“Soon maybe”

“I would love that”

I smiled and we shared a kiss.

A month passed into the date we had to go back

to the hospital, Sakhile couldn’t come with us as
he is going to be held up at the rank so he sent
in someone to come and fetch us and he did, his
name is Zethule. Nice chilled guy, you could get
in a conversation with him quiet easily and he
is more relaxed. We got to the hospital and he
said he would wait for us to take us back. That’s
saving us a lot on taxi fare.
We walked inside the hospital and we had to do
admin before we could precede somewhere
else. It was a long que and we had to wait and
wait for our turn. I hope they find something on
her that they will quickly terminate on my little
girl. I brushed her hair as we waited for a few
hours while sitting here. My phone rang and It
is Sakhile. I answered.
“Hello”

“How’s everything?” He says

“It’s going slow but it’s going” I reply

“Ok, I will call later”

“Ok” he hangs up and I get called; we stand up

and walk off following the nurse to where ever
she is taking us. This is draining honestly as I
could say.

CHATER FIVE

“That’s all I can say Nosibusiso” She is silent.

I pick the red one and look at it, it looks nice

and surely Sakhile will love it. Maybe but I am
taking it. I check the price and it’s R109.99. It’s
on sale even. I am doing just a little girl
shopping , it has been long and I think I haven’t
been out shopping for myself in two years if not
the last time I shopped was before Owami,
when you are a parent you forget about
yourself and everything goes to your child.

“I will never accept him Slindo” I sigh. I know

that, Nosi would never like Sakhile ever.

“I know but he makes me happy, he is changing

as well.”

“Mmh I hear you” She doesn’t sound too happy

about the news of Sakhile and I dating again.

“I will see you Sunday” I say

“Where are you?” She asks.

“Mr Price at Scottsville mall”

I take the lacy underwear as well, two for the

price of one; I shove them in the basket.

“Ok then, I love you and take care of yourself”

I stop and smile.

“I love you too Mntase”

“Bye then” she hangs up; I am blessed for

having Nosi in my life.
I have the nightwear and what I will wear
when I leave on Sunday, Perfect then. It has
been long since I have bought something new
for myself. I went to go and pay taking a lip-
gloss as well from the basket upfront.

“R420.29”That’s a lot, I don’t want to be broke

before month end. I hesitate at first before I
pay; I shouldn’t go shopping for the next 5 years
or maybe go to Dunusa is best, cheap and rare
clothes as well. I take out the money and give it
to the lady, my phone rings and its Sakhile. I
answer with a smile on my face.

“Hello”

“MaNgcolosi” I swallow, I am glad I didn’t

answer in appropriately. I am intimidated and
yet scared to say anything but I reply.

“Baba “

“Asitselwa ngani ukuthi umntwana uyagula

(Why didn’t you inform us that the child is
sick)” I am Scared at the moment.

“I told Sakhile baba, he knows” I swallow.

“Mmh”
He settles for that.

“Siyaxolisa (we are sorry)” Why didn’t Sakhile

inform his father about Owami being sick?

“I will talk to Sakhile, this is Unacceptable” He

is not pleased, his tones says it all.

“Yebo baba” He hangs up and I breathe out, I

take the plastic and walk out of the shop, and I
go to Kfc and buy some Ice cream.

“Hey Kuhle”I turned and it was Zethule,

Sakhile’s friend. He came towards me as I am
waiting.

“Hi” he stands in front of me, looking at me.

“How are you?” He asks.

“I am fine Thank you, yourself?” I ask.

“I am good, I have to go. Nice seeing you”

I nodded as he walked off, I got my ice cream

and my phone rang, I answered it.

“Hello”
“Sthandwa sam” it’s Sakhile.

“Why didn’t you tell your father that Owami is

sick?” I ask, why didn’t he vele?

“It slipped my mind”

“Your daughter being diagnosed with Cancer

slipped through your mind Sakhile?”

My nose was itching, he is lying.

“It happens “He says. I feel angry as he says

that, it can’t just happen!

“I can’t talk to you right now. “

I hung up, How can forget something this

important and say it slip his mind? I walked out
of the mall, Varsity Students from UKZN are at
convenience with this Mall, it’s not even far,
even Sakhile and they who live at these white
areas have such Luxury at their Aid .The
private hospital from his Flat is probably a 5
minute drive if not 10. A soccer and rugby
stadium nearby, restaurants as well, what do
you need to go to town for if you live this side.
Even some hair Salons are near as well, heeh
people are living the life and we have to take a
taxi twice just to go to town and coming back, to
get something you need when they just walk to
the shop they need.

I walk to Sakhile’s flat, he gave me his flat Keys

to keep as I am visiting in case I come in early,
and I started at the mall though before heading
to his place. I get there and open the gate and go
up the stairs to his flat. I unlock the door and I
walked inside. It’s clean as well, very clean. I
went to the bedroom and I put the plastic on the
bed and I sat on it and took off my shoes and
put them by the door. I breathed out laying
back on it. I don’t know if I should cook or wait
for Sakhile to arrive in the afternoon. No let me
cook, he will be tired in the afternoon. I got off
the bed and I went to the kitchen, I checked the
cupboards and there is not much. Just tinned
beans and 2kg rice, I open the fridge and it’s
stacked off alcohol. No this is not good, what am
I going to do now? I go and take my phone and I
texted him. “You have no food” sent. He knew I
was coming so why didn’t he buy some food.
My phone rang and I answered.

“Sakhile” I am annoyed.

“We will shop tomorrow”

“What about now? The only thing that’s stocked

in here is alcohol”
I open and close the fridge.

“I will order” He says.

“What time is it now?” I ask

“16h00”

“You won’t be back till late Sakhile” I pace up

and down.

“Calm down” He says

“There is no food Sakhile! Argh why do I even

bother with you “I say to him.

“I am coming” he hangs up. I fling my hands in

the air. What does he eat really?

I check the cupboards and they are really

empty. I sigh and hold my waist. So the whole
weekend will be like this? I would rather go
home if that’s the case. My eyes land on the dust
bin, just peaked inside what’s there and its two
cans of Heineken and a box of Four cousin and
about 6 condoms and they have semen in them.
What is going on here? I moved away and went
to sit down, is Sakhile cheating on me?
I waited for him to come back, I couldn’t stop
thinking about those condoms, and now the
Sweeter wine explains a lot with the white wine
in the fridge. Sakhile can’t drink something
sweet; he detests juice even so I am wondering
as well. I don't drink as well. Well I wouldn’t
say he hates Juice but he doesn’t drink it and
wouldn’t just drink it. The door opens and he
walks in carrying Checkers plastic and
Debonairs Pizza box.

“Baby”

I watched him as he closes the door behind him

and he walks inside. He places the Plastic and
Pizza box on the kitchen counter. A lot is
already going on in my mind, a lot of questions
to be answered.

“I bought what you needed and Pizza”

He comes to me and looks at me as I look at

him; I am trying to answer myself as well.

“You look sour are you ok?”

I don’t know if I should ask him.

“You tell me what’s going on “I look at him,

waiting in silence. My arms across my chest
while I look at him.
“What are you talking about?” He looks at me
confused.

“Sakhile are you cheating on me?” I ask

“Why would I do that when you are the only

woman for me” he tries to defend himself.

“It has been 3 months since we got back

together and we haven’t slept together so what
are those condoms filled with your semen doing
there in the bin?” I cringe just by thinking about
them, not one but six. He looks at me for a
while.

“Zethule was here a few hours ago”

I keep quiet.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” I say.

“Baby I am not cheating on you, I promise”

“So you are trying to say that Zethule had sex in

your flat a few hours ago? Really Sakhile? It
doesn’t make any sense to me “It doesn’t at all.

“He does from time to time” He says

“Doesn’t he have his own place to do that?” He
is silent for a moment; I get up from his couch. I
think I have my answer right now. I can’t
believe that he hasn’t changed.

“I want to go home”

I go the bedroom and he follows after me, I take

my stuff.

“Baby I promise you, I am not cheating” I turn

to him.

“Then explain to me because it looks like it

Sakhile, Honestly I don’t know what to say to
you at this point”

I am angry at him, I know he is lying. I take my

bag and turn, he is cornering me on the bed and
I end up laying on it. He is kissing my lips and I
respond as well and he breaks it. I am falling to
his trap again and I am allowing it to happen.
He looks at me and my face softens a bit to
looking at his handsome face.

“I am not cheating I promise you” The idiotic

me nods to his statement, believing it as much.

“Don’t leave” I nod once more and he gets off

me. I sit up as well and he takes my bag away, I
look at him for a while he moves around.

“Come let’s go eat”

I get off the bed and we walk to the kitchen, we

get the pizza slices and some cold drink, he
didn’t buy the food. Only noodles and some
Tinned fish, what does this man eat at this age?
Is this what he lives for really? I settle for two
slices of pizza and he has 4 slices with a can of
Heineken, we settle on the couch. We eat in
silence; no one is talking to anyone. I am still
trying to figure the condom story but I decided
to let it go before I make my brain explode and
cause myself heartache. I don’t want to know, I
am not ready to find the answers behind them.
He puts his beer down and looks at me; I do the
same before continuing with my eating. I get
done and take the dishes and go over to the sink
to wash them. He goes to the bedroom and
comes back, no one has touched the bin since
the little argument and I don’t have the courage
to look back inside it. I finish up and he comes
back with a changed hat, it’s not a Nike cap
anymore, it’s a Bennie . He never goes
anywhere without wearing a hat on his head.
He grabs the car keys on the counter.

“There is a Soccer Game at the Harry Gwala

stadium; it will be us and my cousins. Want to
come?” I am not a soccer fan but I came here so
we can spend time together. I have never
entered a stadium before, it might be fun
maybe.

“Ok, let me change to something comfortable”

I am in a dress and its hugging me; it won’t

work in a soccer stadium. I went to the
bedroom and changed to black leggings and a
white stylish vest, its summer and weather here
can be favoring, I wear my sandals and walk
out , I don’t think I need anything either than
my phone. He looks at me and he smiles
mischievously, I think it’s the leggings that
make him smile like that.

“I love those” He says and I giggle.

We walk out of the flat and went to his GTI, The

stadium is not that far, the same road just up
the road, the gate opens and he drives out and
takes a left going up to the stadium, we get
there in less than 5 minutes and he parks the
car, people buzzing around ready to watch the
game inside. He gets the tickets and we get out
and we get inside finding his cousins. I have
never officially met them just the touch up
subject on them. They stand up as soon as they
see us.

“Boi” They share a handshake with each other

before they look at me. I am nervous; maybe
they hate me for putting Sakhile in jail.

“I am Sikelela “he lets out his hand, the others

chuckle.

“This is Slindo, the love of my life” Sakhile says

and I can’t help but blush.

“You seem to keep him straight than the rest,

Thank you for arresting him. He needed that,
Qiniso” The other one says, I feel embarrassed
by that.

Sakhile comes to the rescue through the

awkward moment and the others introduce
themselves as well with their girlfriends I
presume. We all settle and the game starts
playing, Sundown’s against Maritz burg united.
It’s a very fair game, its actually nicer watching
soccer live then on television. These men don’t
know which side they are on but keep on
shouting if the ball doesn’t go in or takes a turn
by the goal post.

“That’s a free kick!” one of them shouts which I

learnt is Ntozakhona, They are on their feet
watching and here I am confused yet enjoying
the watch without any knowledge.
“Nazo sit down” his girlfriend says, she is the
control freak type.

What she says goes, Nazo also fully known as

Snazozonke, what they have all I don’t know.
He has a dominance side as well, I have noticed
in how he could just “bend her” into doing what
he wants. How they do it, I don’t know. Some
secrets remain in your relationship at making it
successful. They finally settle down and we
keep on watching the game, it ends at a Draw
even after the penalty, non-of these soccer
players were determined on loosing today, the
score was 2-2.

Yes! we are leaving and they think of extending

some time together by going to Alexandra park
for some meat and alcohol, its already 6pm
already but I am still enjoying the company,
they are not bad and actually jokesters
especially with regards to me getting Sakhile
arrested and it’s not awkward anymore
because he is laughing it out. It’s settled, two of
them will go and buy some braai meat from
Hlophe’s butchery and the others will go to
Scottsville to Checkers and buy the rolls and
Alcohol before the mall closes, many stores are
already closed. We get what we needed and
they have bought a bit too much of alcohol,
Ciders for the ladies and wine and the strong
stuff for the gents. We go to Alexandra Park and
find a spot by the olive Square, the car boots are
opened and camp chairs are taken out of the
cars, I guess they keep them inside. I am sitting
at the open boot and Music is playing from
Sakhile’s car. He has some great taste in music.
They are already drinking and I settle for some
Sprite, at first they were complaining that they
will use it to dash the alcohol but I am not
drinking, I won’t start now even though Nosi
drinks like a pro. Give her anything and she
would finish it on her own and go on to the
next. Sakhile stands between my legs and his
other two cousins come back, Qiniso and Afika,
the fifth one. The meat is more than enough in
my eyes but men eat and already they are on
the wors, Hlope has the most amazing meat and
it’s all straight from the animal its self . The
rolls are forgotten by them, it’s just the meat
and alcohol. It’s getting dark now but still we
are here in the park and some people as well,
Sikelela starts dancing around to one of the
songs. What I have also learnt during their
conversations is that Nazo is from Durban and
he just came to visit with his woman and they
would be leaving tonight, will they even make it
as they are downing alcohol like its water?
Sakhile kisses the side of my head then nose
and gives me a perk and I could taste the
Savanna that he has been drinking.

“You are good?” He asks and I nod, his eyes are

blood shot red, he takes a sip of his beverage.

“You know I love you “I nod and he kisses my

lips before breaking it and he smiles before
turning to his cousins.

“I am going to marry this woman one day Gents

“They start whistling.

“You could learn a thing or two from your

cousin” Afika’s girlfriend says.

“Awungimele wena “ he replies annoyed and

carried on drinking his beer, I was silent and
felt sorry for her for such a reply in front of his
cousins. I get off the boot and take my phone.

“Where are you going?” Sakhile asks.

“I need to call Owami and check if she is fine” I

say.

“I am sure she is “he says

“I just want to call her”

“I will accompany you, I want to take a piss” I

wait for him as he goes to the front and changes
the music and we walk off together to a darker
area. He goes and takes a piss while I call Nosi
and she answered.

“I though he killed you, I was about to

come”That’s what she first says.

“No I am fine “I reply.

“How is Owami? Is she asleep?” I hear her sigh.

“She is having a problem with her speech and

she just wet herself” My poor baby.

“I am coming back tomorrow”

“No its fine, I will take her to the hospital. Be

happy nana “I smiled. I felt hands wrapping
around me and a soft kiss on my neck.

“I will see you Sunday, I will buy the nappies”

“Dumisani bought them”

“I need to thank him then”

“Its fine Mntase, I have to go. Gogo is angry at

you “she laughs

“Yoh, I don’t want to feel her wrath”

“You will ke, bye “

“Bye “I hang up and sigh turning to Sakhile.

“What’s wrong?” he asks

“Owami can’t speak, her speech is messed up”

he is silent for a moment; I am worried about
her so much. I wish I could go home now and
be with her.

“Don’t worry baby, I will tell dad about that” he

perks my lips again.

“Asambe “He says and we walk back to his

cousins.

It ended in us parting at 10 pm and I am tired

as ever, Sakhile is drunk so as the rest but they
hop inside their cars, I do the same. If I could I
would have walked back to the flat but it’s
really dark and I can’t leave Sakhile all alone.
He drives back to the apartment and we are
safe, that’s a relief. I hope the Durban couple
arrives safely as well, we get inside and he is
kissing me and I am kissing him as well. It gets
heated as we enter the bedroom and I am lying
on the bed facing up, he is on top of me.
Caressing my boobs and kissing my neck as well
coming up and kisses my lips once more, the
tights vanish and so as the vest. He is happy to
see that I have no bra on underneath, thank god
I never breast fed Owami. I couldn’t have my
boobs sagging at the age of 19. He undresses
himself with a bit of my help, I haven’t slept
with a man in 3 years, he reaches over to the
side drawer and he is looking for something but
seems he can’t find it, he looks at me.

“Baby I am going to pull out” He says and shuts

me up with a kiss before I could utter anything.
I feel him penetrate me and it’s a bit difficult
and sore as well but he manages to slip in and
he kisses my forehead.

“I love you” He said as he trusted inside me and

my hands moved to his back and I dug there
and my toes curled.
_________
The night was wonderful and as promised
Sakhile pulled out but in order to avoid any
mistake he will take me to the clinic. I really
don’t know what we will eat and he says we
will just go out, I don’t really like this take out
Idea but it’s just for a few days. We get ready
and I tidy up around before we can get dressed,
I am in a dress and very much comfortable. He
settles for navy Addidas track pants with a
white Lacoste sneaker and a white golf shirt
and a Navy Addidas Cap, it can’t be missed. The
only thing Sakhile is missing in his wardrobe is
Carvela’s and Dakotas of which I don’t like and
thank God he doesn’t see any taste in them.
These look good on him and what makes him
look more handsome is his neatness and being
clean, He puts on a watch as well and he done
and smelling good. We are out and going to the
Doctor, its private and he pays as I get a 3
months injection. After that trip we are going to
Golden Horse, I am excited. This would be the
first time Sakhile takes me out. We settle in
Rockefeller’s and we go and get our food, it’s a
buffet. One price for eat as many as you like,
the waffles and ice cream I will come for later.
We have some breakfast at the top area and we
are chatting and I am really enjoying my time
with him.

“Sakhile!” I hear a woman’s voice calling

Sakhile, he shifts and looks behind me before I
turn and this woman comes towards us.

A Barbie doll and light skinned looks very

beautiful and makes me insecure, she reaches
us with a glass full of beer in her hand, flicks
her brazilian weave to the sides.

“Mmh looking good as always, Hug” he stands

up and they share a hug, I am looking at them
before she turns to me.

“Introduce us” he Cleared his throat.

“Sandi this is Slindo” Just Slindo?

“Oh your c….”He shut her up with a stare.

“Ayi see you later babe” she kisses his cheek

and walks off; I look at him as he sits down. I
have lost my appetite.

“Babe?” I look at him. I am being tested for real.

“Yeah, we are friends from high school; we

used to be in class together.” He carries on
eating; didn’t he go to an all-boys school?

“You were friends in a boy’s school?” he looks

at me.

“From grade 8-9 I went to a boys and girls

school before I went to an all-boys school.” I
look at him. This one thinks I am an idiot. He
looks up at me.

“We can go ask her for clarification”

“ I don’t like this , first your friends having sex

at your place and now old school mates kissing
you , it’s not on Sakhile , iyangicasula( it
irritates me )” I am pissed.
“I am sorry, it will never happen again” I ignore
him and he carries on eating. I can’t eat
anymore, I am just too angry at the moment.

CHAPTER SIX

It’s a wonderful to be out in the sea and just

relaxing yourself; this is what I envisioned
every day for my daughter. Both of her parents
together and in love, trips as well. Everything, I
look onto the Sea and the speaker is playing
light Music, you can’t separate Sakhile and
Music, we are in Durban South Beach. It’s a
family trip that Owami and I were included in. I
meet his female cousins who reside this side
and also two of them are siblings with Nazo,
they are all from different mothers, Nazo has 5
Siblings in total and some are not here, all of
their fathers are not with the women they
impregnated they consult here and there as
Sikelela has mentioned, I heard Afika say he
found a new one this week and she is young. He
wants to share the girlfriend with his father, I
am traumatized by his statement while the rest
laugh, his Sister says she will inform her father
about his thoughts and they just laugh it off. I
look at Owami and she is wishing to go to the
ocean but she can’t. I carry her around as her
knees fail her, we did go to the hospital as per
return date and they said they will have to do
more tests, her cancer is spreading. I don’t
know why they don’t do anything to help my
daughter; they will start Chemotherapy once
they are satisfied. She is back to wearing a
nappy 24/7 as she can’t control her waste
releases anymore, Sakhile thought this trip
might cheer her up. Being here in Durban might
do just the trick but she is silent, I miss having
conversations with my daughter. I look at her.

“Nana are you ok?” she shakes her head lightly

and I stand up from the camp chair, the gents
are braaing and having a good chat.

“Where are you going?” The female cousin asks,

majority of them don’t like me and have
compared me to Sakhile’s ex who is not boring
and dull. Attention is all now on me.

“I am going to change Owami” I say.

“Ayisendala ne Nap’keni (She is old for a

nappy)” I look at her then Sakhile who looks
away while drinking his beer, I feel tears
welding my eyes and I take the bag from the
floor and walk off to the car, I open it and I lay
her down before I change her, she has peed on
herself, dark patches under her eyes indicating
she is losing some weight, I have faith that she
will be ok. God gave me her for a purpose. I
wipe my tears so she wouldn’t see that her
mother is crying, I touch her face softly.

“Speak to mommy” she tries to but her words

don’t come out well for me to hear.

“What’s wrong with her?”

I turn around and look at him before turning

back to Owami and I wipe my tears, I take out
some Purity from the bag and spoon so she
could have something to eat. I Sit down and
place her on my lap before I open it and feed
her, he is looking at us. I look up to him.

“Glioblastom” he frowns at the name.

“What’s that?”

“Type of cancer, brain cancer” There is silence

between us.

“I am sorry” he says and I nod.

“What stage is it on?” he asks

“Stage 4” he is silent.
“Nazo!” his girlfriend was calling him and she
didn’t look happy, he turned to us.

“I will call Sakhile” He says and walks off to his

woman, see what I told you.

She holds his arm as they walk off. I put my feet

inside and close the car door and lay Owami
down once she is done with eating I pack
everything away and I get out of the car and I
make my way back while she rests on my
shoulder. I sit back where I was and Sakhile
comes and sits next to me.

“Here is some meat.” He gives it to me and I

taste it and he brushes his hand on Owami’s
cheek.

“How is she?” He asks

“I don’t know but she is not well.” I say, he nods

his head and kisses my forehead.

“She will be fine. “He says

“Yeah” I pray to god that my daughter gets well.

I can’t imagine my life without her, it’s dull.

We get some food and start eating and Owami

is still asleep, conversations are still flowing
between everyone and we are all enjoying.
Sakhile wants us to take a stroll through the
beach so we get up and he takes Owami from
my hands and we go take a stroll through the
beach as he holds my hand , we are just silent
and I am in thoughts , he looks at Owami and
then me before he smiles and I return it as well.
We stop walking and we are facing the Ocean,
we are a bit far from people.

“It was three years ago when I met you “He

says. I look at him and he looks at me.

“You were this Beautiful girl I have ever seen “I

blush.

“I love you Slindokuhle”He says

“I love you too Sakhile”He hugs me with his free

arm and I am laying my head on his chest, he
kisses my forehead.

“Ngicela ukuzikhipha zonke Inkomo “ He says

and I look at him astonished.

“Can I? Send the letter to your family” I feel

tears prickling my eyes, he kisses my cheek.

“Yes” I say. I still can’t believe it but I love this

man and for him to want to send a letter home
for my hand in marriage is wonderful.

We watch as the waves hit the sand and Owami

wakes up, Sakhile goes near the Ocean and he
puts her down while holding her as her feet
touched , I watched them and tears streamed
down my cheeks. The pain I am feeling inside is
unbearable, I want my daughter healed and I
pray that God heals her, they are my
everything.

“You are ok?” Sakhile asks her and I hear her

letting out an agreeing moan.

I wipe the tears that are falling from my eyes

and sniff, I just want everything to be well with
her, I am trying to be strong for her but I am
failing while seeing her like this. I sat down on
the sand and just watched them play around
the water and I smiled to myself.

We got back from Durban and I really enjoyed

our trip. Some of his cousins came back this
side , since we came back late from Durban we
slept at Sakhile’s place and I called my
grandmother informing her about us arriving
and where we are , I didn’t want her to stress
too much about where we are and she said I
should bring back Owami if ngizohlala nesoka
lami (Owami if I am going to stay with my man
)So Sakhile packed Owami up and went to drop
her home , I wanted to go as well but he asked
me if I could leave tomorrow and I agreed. I
was in the kitchen while cleaning around the
house, I took some Detergents and I closed the
cupboard and I went to pour it in the bucket
before I started moping around, I have already
done his washing and changed the linen as
well. My phone rings and I tiptoe carefully to go
and take it then I answer.

“Hello”

“Baby I am coming to fetch you “he says

“To what?” I ask.

“Baba summoned us to see him” I am silent. I

am so scared.

“Uhm ok”

“Sho” he hangs up, I breathe out and I carry on

moping, I wonder what his father wants to talk
to us about. I get done and I go and take a
shower , I get done and I lotion myself and wear
a dress with sandals and I spray my braids. I
hear the door opening.

“Sthandwa Sam!” I peak through the door and

it’s Sakhile. I take the washing basket and walk
out of the bedroom. I seem him close the fridge
and open a can of Heineken and gulps from it.

“It looks so clean” He says.

“Do you ever clean properly?” he chuckles

“I do from time to time” he says

“Ok, let me go and take the washing. I am not

sure if it will rain” I say.

“Ok “ he comes and gives me a perk and I go out

to take the washing down , I get back and I take
my bag and we are ready to leave . We lock the
apartment and go down to his car, we get inside
and I buckle up before he drives off.

“Where are we going?” I ask him.

“Richmond crest, my father’s house” I nodded

and relaxed on the red leather seats, he plays
some music and it lightens the atmosphere
inside the car.

Soon enough we reach his father’s house in

Richmond Crest and its beautiful, has a nice
electronic gate, Yellow painting with those light
green small trees upfront and also two cars
before the closed Garages. Sakhile presses the
remote and the gate opens and he parks behind
the Mercedes Benz kompresser and we both
get out, he crushes his can before we close the
doors and I went to his side. He held my hand
as we made our way to the front door and he
knocked once before he opened the door, we
could hear some Laughter and we entered the
lounge area that is near a mini bar type of area.
It was his father and two of his Uncles.

“Hello “Sakhile greeted, They turned to us and

his father got of the high chair with a glass
filled with Whisky and came towards us with a
hand in his pocket.

“Ndodakazi” he says while looking at me.

“Baba, nikahle?(are you fine?)” I ask and he
nods.

“Yes we are fine, both of you sit down” it was

definitely a command, we moved to the black
leather couched lounge and we sit down.

“MaSkhosana!”His voice roars throughout the

whole lounge, middle aged Woman in a blue
uniform came rushing to him.

“Gatseni” She says

“Can you bring some beverages for Sakhile and

his woman “She nods

“Yebo Mnumzane (Yes sir)”

“What will you drink?” He asks.

“Brandy and Juice for Slindo” Sakhile says

“Bring them that “She rushed off. They all look

at us but Sakhile’s father’s eyes were the most
piercing ones.

“How is my granddaughter?” he asks and takes

a sip from his whisky and pulls his grey pants
up a bit while he sits properly, the nicotine
scent can’t be missed.

“They are still doing tests on her, she doesn’t

talk or walk on her own. “ I say

“What are the tests for?” he asks with a frown.

“To see how far her cancer has spread baba” he

closes his eyes and brushes his beard. I look at
Sakhile who just holds my hand.

“They haven’t started any treatment on her?” I

shake my head

“Cha baba (No)”He puts his whisky down.

“Tomorrow we are taking her to the private
hospital, she needs to be ok” He says, he loves
his granddaughter so much, guess Sakhile’s
mother was the woman who had his heart.

“Yes sir”

The beverages come and I thank her and she

nods going off.

“USakhile ungitselile ukuthi ufuna ukuhambisa

abakhongi kwaBhengu, MaNgccolosi (Sakhile
told me that he wants to come and pay lobola at
the Bhengu family)” I smile at that.

“You are doing well my boy, better than us” the

uncle says

“Thank you malume”Sakhile says and looks at

me.

“Are you sure about this decision?” his father

asks looking at Sakhile.

“Yes I am, I love Slindokuhle and I want to do

right by her” I look at him.

“We have already sent the letter, Sakhile mfana

wami uyiphathe kahle lengane ngoba
ngizokuqoba amadolo mfana wami uke
umphule inhliziyo (Sakhile my boy, you better
treat this child because I will chop your knees
my boy if you break her heart)” his father
warns

“I won’t “He squeezes my hand a bit and I look

at him

“Good” his father says Sakhile takes a sip of his

drink and so do i.

“We need to do Ceremony for Owami but firstly

damages have to paid” Bab’Ndlovu says

“The ancestors are punishing us with the

sickness through her for not taking in our
daughter” The uncle says

“Usho khona Mfowethu (I agree with you)”

Sakhile’s father says

“Ndodakazi uthini umqhibelo? (How is

Saturday ?)We will pay the damages Friday and
then perform a welcoming Ceremony for
Owami” he says

“I think that’s a good day Baba” he nods.

“Sakhile?” he says
“I am fine with everything Gatseni” He says.

“Good then” His father says.

He gulps the rest of his substance and puts the

glass down on the coaster and put his hands in
his pocket and looked at us.

“I have a little gift for you Nkosana” he says

looking at Sakhile.

“Oh ok” Sakhile says and his father stands up

with his uncle.

“You can come Makoti; I have something for the

both of you”

I am not yet part of the family and now I am

Makoti, I drink the juice and stand up leaving
my bag on the couch and Sakhile holds my
waist, I am a bit nervous and Sakhile senses it
as he whispers in my ear.

“Relax I am here “I ease up a bit.

We get outside and his father stands in front of

the garages and he takes out a remote and
presses it , the garages open and you could see
the other side of the garage , it was open , there
were 4 taxi’s parked there and they looked new
because they didn’t have a number plate as yet.
He walked towards them and we followed him,
he stood before them.

“This is my gift to you mfana wami I want you

to take care of them and grow this Legacy I
have started for you” Sakhile was
flabbergasted.

“Uhm Thank you Gatseni “They shared a manly

hug.

“Uziphathe kahle mfana, isinkwa lesi (Take

good care of yourself, this is your bread)” one of
his uncle says.

“I will do so” He turned to me and just squeezed

me in a hug, I am so happy for him. He let go of
me and gave me a perk.

“I am going to check them out” I giggled and

nodded, his father took out one of the keys and
he threw it at him and Sakhile caught the keys
and went to one of the taxis.

“Makoti”

“Baba”
He signaled for me to follow him and I did, he
goes inside the house and we pass the kitchen,
this house is really beautiful. I was admiring
everything while looking at MaSkhosana
moving around the kitchen, we walked through
the passage and he opened a bedroom and it
seems like his room, he stood in the middle and
looked around before he went to the wardrobe
and he came back with a wrapped box and gave
it to me. I looked at it.

“You will be the first wife in this Family, if

Sakhile’s mother was still alive you could’ve
been the second, Open it”

I unwrapped and opened the box. It had a

framed picture of a woman who looked just like
Owami and Owami’s next to it. He wasn’t lying
when he said Sakhile’s mother and Owami look
the same.

“My heart is truly broken to learn that my

granddaughter is suffering this much when I
have the powers to help her, his father has the
powers”

I looked up to him and he looked broken.

“I believe God will heal Owami” He smiles

while putting hands in his pocket.
“Believe My child” He took the frame out and
there was a pearl necklace and a piece of paper.

“Sakhile’s mother left those the day before she

died, I believe she knew the next day that she
was going to die, at times I wish I listened to her
gut feelings and her disturbing dreams but I
didn’t. I hope Sakhile doesn’t do the same
mistake I did with his mother and that is
ignoring her cries. At times there are decisions
you make as a boss and there are decisions you
make as a man, they do interfere with both but
I hope he makes the right decision and protects
you and my granddaughter at all times “he says

“Yebo baba “He smiles

“You can go to Sakhile’s old room and read it

there”I nodded

“Thank you “

we walked out and he showed me Sakhile’s old

room and I opened the door and it was very
clean , I guess it gets cleaned every now and
then, it had a picture of him in high school with
a hat on and I smile. He was cute back then. I
ran my fingers on his study desk and saw a
little shelf filled with awards and mostly they
are for basketball, there is a picture of him in
his basketball uniform. I turned around and I
sat on the bed and I opened the box and took
out the letter, I started reading it.

“TO MY DAUGHTER IN LAW “it’s stated

“I wish I can meet you but I can only look down

on you, I am happy that someone would come
into this family and clean up my son, he is his
father’s son. I never married into the Ndlovu
family but you did. I am saying Good luck, don’t
be afraid to ask for assistance, don’t ignore any
bad feeling you have, trust me you are
protecting your family. I love you already and I
give you my blessings from above, put God in
your marriage as well. Gatseni is always there
to clean up his son; I know he wants what’s best
like any parent.
Yours Faithfully
T.Makhathini “

I looked at the letter for a while.

“How did you find this room?” I looked up and

it was Sakhile.

“Your father showed it to me, I am sorry to

impose” I put the letter inside the box.

He walks in and comes to sit next to me and he

takes the photo and he looks at it.
“They look so much alike” he said softly.

“She reminds you of her right?” he nodded

“I love Owami though “He said looking at me.

“I know” he was silent and put the photo down.

“We are going out “he says, going out? I am not

really in the mood.

“Where?” I ask.

“Cubana” he says, a club? No

“I don’t drink “I say.

“We are just celebrating.” He says.

My phone rang disturbing us and I stood up and

walked out to the lounge, the uncles and his
father were now watching some soccer game, I
took my phone and it’s Nosi.

“Nosi” I walked off.

“Come back Slindo, Owami is not ok, she is

weak. We had rushed her to the hospital right
now”I am panicking.

“Ok I am coming now” I turn to go to the

lounge. Sakhile comes from the bedrooms

“Which Hospital are you in Nosibusiso?” I feel

the urge to break down.

“Edendale” she says.

“Ok I am coming” I hang up and I grab my bag

“What’s wrong Ndodakazi?” Bab’Ndlovu asks.

Sakhile is also waiting for an answer.

“Owami is at the hospital, they say she is a bit

worse. I need to leave “I say all fast, they are all
on their feet.

“Let’s go” Sakhile pulls my hand and we are

getting inside the car, no one is talking to
anyone.

I tell him the hospital and he tells his father

before we all drive off to the hospital, my heart
is beating fast and I am trying so hard not to cry
right now. We get to the hospital and I call Nosi
and she says they are at the reception and we
get there and Dumisani is shouting while Nosi is
cradling Owami, She is in tears.
“Ngoba uyusomaphoyisa bhuti akucazi ukuthi
ikini lah, hlala phansi ulinde( Just because you
are a police officer that doesn’t mean that this is
your house, sit down and wait)” the receptionist
says, I go to Nosi and take Owami into my
hands , she looks very weak , Tears stream
down my cheek.

“What’s going on here?” Bab’Ndlovu says with a

frown on his face.

“As I have said to this brother here you have to

sit down and wait for a bed to be available “She
went back to her work.

“We are taking her to a Private hospital”

Sakhile says

“Come Ndodakazi” Bab’Ndlovu says and takes

Owami from my hands, Sakhile holds me in his
arms as I cry.

“I will call you “Nosi says and I nod.

“Thank you “They both nod with Dumisani and

we walk off, already his father has left with
Owami. We get in the car and I just break down,
he embraces me.
“She is going to be ok”he says

I keep on sobbing. I hate seeing my daughter in

that manner .

CHAPTER SEVEN

My heart, I never knew heart break comes in

many forms than one, I never thought I would
go through heart break twice , this one left a
huge scar that won’t heal inside of me , it ripped
my heart twice and it feels like daggers are
inserted in my heart. I have never felt so much
in pain and it feels like the pain button was
switched on inside of me. Death, it’s one thing
that caused me this heart break, this painful
feeling inside of me by coming between me and
my precious thing, It took my most valuable
possession, out of all things it took my daughter
away from me.

She made it to the hospital and got the bed she

needed, she stayed a night but the next morning
she was gone, her little body just gave in and it
shut down. It had spread throughout her brain.
Why did God take my daughter away from me
causing me this unexplainable pain, he said he
loves us but is this love? Does he love giving us
something and then take it away from us. I
failed my baby girl more than anything ,
should’ve been more there for her and tried all
means to get her better, her tiny smile , her
little voice and her happy energy plays in my
mind like a broken record, it haunts me every
time, I look beside me and pull her clothes
closer to me and I cry. I wish to die at this
moment, I want to follow my daughter. I am
nothing without my little Owami, I wish that all
of this was a dream that I would wake up from
but it’s not. It’s my bitter reality.

“Nana” Its Nosi, she touches my back softly but

I don’t move, I clench on Owami’s clothes just
so I could feel her but nothing.

“Slindokuhle , Owami’s grandfather needs to

talk to you” my mind is not about where Owami
should be buried, the Ndlovu family want her to
be buried next to her family members at their
family home in Msinga but my family is
refusing.

“Slindokuhle” my grandmother comes to my

side and she lifts me up, I start sobbing.

“Phephisa mntanami kuzolunga( I am sorry my

child , it will be ok)”

“She left me, God took my child gogo

ku…kubhlungu kakhulu (it’s so painful) “ I sob

“I know my child, I know”

I cried, they pulled me up and Nosi held me as

we walked out of the bedroom, I couldn’t stop
crying. They stood up and Sakhile looks like a
mess, he was nowhere to be found yesterday. I
threw myself in his arms and he held me and
rubbed my back. He smelled of alcohol and
Nicotine as well.

“I want my baby Sakhile, I want my child” I

cried in his arms

“Ngiyaxolisa Sthandwa sam , Ngiyaxolisa( I am

sorry my love, I am sorry)”he says in a breaking
voice.

“You wanted her dead vele!” Nosi says

“Nosibusiso!” my grandmother says

“We are sorry and heartbroken by the loss of

our granddaughter”Bab’Ndlovu says. Sakhile
wipes my tears.
“Owami will be buried with the Bhengu family
in New Castle “My grandmother says.

“We understand that our Son didn’t pay any

damages but he will fix that during the
Negotiations” one of the uncles says.

My heart is paining,i can’t think of anything

else than my little Owami.

“No, we raised that child, our decision is final”

my grandmother says

“Gogo “I say softly and she looks at me.

“Hayi Slindokuhle!”She gives me a look.

“It’s her family” I say.

“No, go and sleep because you seem to have lost

it” Nosi says.

“No, I am not up for any squabbling , I birthed

Owami and Sakhile is her father, the Ndlovu
family will do right by her so please can we
have peace, I don’t have the heart for back and
forth” Nosi looks at Sakhile and then me, gogo
looks at me and tears stream down my cheeks.

“As you wish” She says.

“Thank you” Sakhile keeps on rubbing my back.
_________
The neighbors arrived to send of their
condolences and some of my high school
friends as well who live around the
neighborhood came to send their condolences,
the women kept on singing as I am sitting on
the mattress. It has been solved, my other
family members from New Castle are coming
down tomorrow and Bab’Ndlovu organized
transport for them to be fetched and brought
down, Damages will be paid for Owami on
Thursday and then a little Ceremony will be
done for her as for her soul to be
acknowledged and accepted as one of the
Ndlovu ancestors, after all of that we can then
bury her on Sunday, tomorrow we are moving
to Bab’Ndlovu’s house and my family will be
accommodated at their homestead in Msinga ,
Apparently Sakhile’s Grandmother is still alive
and lives there. That is going to happen, I feel so
miserable right now. I feel like taking my heart
out and putting it on ice so it could cool down
or for Owami to walk through that door and say
“Mama” as I catch her in my arms, you never
know pain until you lose something you have
given life to and watched it grow, you don’t
know pain if you haven’t had a life grow in you
only for you to lose it to the person who gave it
to you.
“Slindokuhle”It’s Mam’Zikhali.

I looked up to her and she puts a tray on my lap

with tea and some bread.

“Eat mntanami ukuze ube namandla(Eat so you

can have some strength)” I just looked at her.

“Slindo eat” That was Nosi. I looked at her and

moved the food away from me.

“Give her some space” My grandmother said,

they nodded and Mam’Zikhali moved away
from me. I lay down on the mattress and I cry
my eyes out.

The following day came and we were

transported to Sakhile’s home in Richmond
Crest, we arrived and already everything was
prepared for us , his cousins were there as well
. Even the ones from Durban, the furniture
from the lounge was moved and the mattress
was already there, my grandmother sat down.

“Ndodakazi” I look at Bab’Ndlovu.

“Please come with me “Nosi looks at me and I

follow him.
“Sakhile wants to see you” He says before
opening his bedroom door and he is laid on the
bed, I move inside and go closer to him. I sit
next to him but his eyes are still fixed on the
ceiling. The door closes, his bedroom is a mess.

“S…Sa…” I swallowed before I spoke once more,

I touched his lap.

“Sakhile”

He was silent.

“Sakhile talk to me”

I plead, he stands up and takes the gun from

his study desk and walks to the door, he holds
the handle for a while before he turns and I feel
metal come in contact with my face. I fall on the
bed and he is on top of me, pinning me down
painfully. His knee is on my wind pipe.

“If you listened I wouldn’t have bonded with

her this much, I wouldn’t feel this hurt, I
wouldn’t feel this fucked up Slindokuhle! It’s
your fault she is dead!”

He shouted and I tried screaming and I could

feel myself losing my breath as he pressed, his
eyes showed hatred only.
“Sa…Sakhil !” I tried to scream and the door
busted open and he was removed from me by
his cousins. I was assisted up by Nazo as I
coughed and cried.

“What are you doing?!” Sikelela shouts and they

drag him off, I cry. He almost killed me.

“Shh its ok , let’s get you some water”Nazo says

and he helps me up, all I hear is someone
groaning outside and a deep voice roaring, Nosi
is standing by the kitchen window.

“hhmmhh, Mshaye !(Hit him)” She says and

turns to me and she rushes to me as I hold my
neck still trying to catch my breath.

“Are you ok Mntase?” I nodded

“What’s going on outside?” My voice is scratchy,

my left cheek hurts.

“You have some blood on your face” She starts

to panic.

“No we are leaving !Gogo !” She screams

“Nosi please” I say.

Nazo gets me water and he gives it to me and I
drink up.

“I am coming back with a first aid kit” he says, I

nod and I feel a headache come on, I sit on the
chair.

“Why are you calling me?” gogo appears and

she puts hands on her head.

“What’s happened?”

“It’s nothing ”I say

“Sakhile happened”

“No, siyahamba manje , angifuni lutho

ngalomndeni(We are leaving now, I want
nothing to do with this family)” she says

“Gogo sit down” I say while holding my paining

head.

The kitchen doors are being opened roughly

and Sakhile is dragged in my his father, he
stumbles a bit and his face is roughened up, he
is holding his chest. His eyes land on me and I
look away.

“Sobona ukuthi ubani indoda lah(We will see

who is a man between us)” his father says
angrily and pushes him through the passage
and they disappear.

“I like his father, my type” Nosi says and we

look at her.

“Here is the kit” Nazo appears.

“Go and sit down gogo , I will be fine” she sighes

defeated and she walks away with Nosi.
Nazo pours some bit of whisky and gives it to
me.

“I don’t drink” I say

“It will calm your nerves and the sting won’t be

painful” he says.

“So you are a Doctor and know these things” I

say and he chuckles while taking out gloves and
wears them the takes some Dettol and cotton
wool. He dabs a bit.

“No but I have dealt with serious injuries than

this” He says and dabs it on my forehead and I
flinch.
“That hurts” I say

“I am sorry” he takes another cotton wool and

does the same again.

“You are also in the taxi industry?” I make

conversation.

“Not really it’s a family business, I am a Private

investigator” he says

“Oh I see” he looks at me and chuckles

“What are you? You have been asking me a lot

of questions” He says and keeps on dabbing on
my forehead and it hurts, he holds my face with
his hand and its firm.

“Stop moving” he commands and I stop.

“I am nothing” I say and he looks at me.

“Who said you are nothing?” he asks while

looking at me, he has an intense stare and its
intimidating me a lot.

“I didn’t pass my matric well and currently not

working, isn’t that nothing?”

He is silent for a moment and he takes a

bandage from the first Aid kit and plasters , he
takes scissors and he cuts a piece off the
bandage.
“If you passed and went to Varsity what would
you say you are now?” He asks.

“A nurse” he nods.

“There is nothing stopping you really” He says.

“Yeah maybe my matric certificate” I say.

“Ndodakazi” I turn and its Baba, he comes to

me.

“I am sorry for Sakhile’s behavior” Shouldn’t he

be the one apologizing.

“He should be apologizing baba not you “I say, I

am pissed off

“I understand that, I am ashamed of his acts” he

says and tears stream down my cheeks.

“I didn’t kill Owami I promise” I sob and Nazo

embraces me.

“She is my daughter” I carried on crying.

_____
My family arrived in Msinga a few days ago and
the payments were done , I am sure my family
charged them an arm, I know so. I expected to
be In my mother’s arms till the funeral but she
told me that she has some marking and little
kids to take off, she will come to the funeral
though of which is today. Sakhile tried talking
to me but I don’t want to. It’s dumb that I still
love him so much and it hasn’t changed, I am
still hurt that he blames me for Owami’s death
like that. Owami was my everything and there
is nothing I wouldn’t do for my daughter. We all
got ready and left wee hours of morning with
taxis, we arrived on time and a tent and
everything was set up, yesterday it hit me that
she is gone when I saw her laying lifeless at the
morgue when we were going to bring the
clothes she will wear for today. I have never
cried so much in my life and the pain was
inflicted twice as more than it was before. I
couldn’t believe my little baby girl was laying
there silent and never ever to wake up ever
again.

We walked inside and an old woman was

standing with Sakhile’s father while looking
inside the tiny casket in the lounge area,
already the yard has a lot of people I don’t
know.

“Uyafana noThokozile, kade ngimbuka(She

looks so much like Thokozile)” The old woman
says and Bab’Ndlovu nods.
“Sikhululekile kwa Gatseni” My uncle says and
they turn.

“Oh Welcome boh Bhengu, Makoti come here” I

look around and this old woman comes and
embraces me , she smells like nice baby
powder.

“I am sorry “she says and I nod, I am tired of

hearing that because it won’t bring back my
daughter.
Family members are called in to see Owami for
the last time and I went to look at her and she
looks so peaceful and beautiful. I feel a hand on
my back.

“She is beautiful”

He says, with his hoarse voice, I want to hug

her and kiss her for the last time, I want to tell
her how much I love her, and I want to do
everything with her.

“I wish I had enough time spent with her” he

says and clears his throat.

I moved away and he held my arm and pulled

me to his chest and I broke down.
“I am sorry” he says and I keep on crying.

My daughter’s send -off was wonderful and

dignified, from the casket to the decoration and
the food to the organization of everything was
wonderful and gave me peace as to how
everything was done. Sakhile’s family is a
community if I could say because they are a lot,
his grandmother has 13 children in total but 4
have already died, 7 boys and 6 girls. Some of
Sakhile’s family members is not here and it’s his
aunt who resides in the UK with her children. I
had a small portion of food and that was it, I
was forced by Nosi on that matter. I was
looking for my mother outside, I saw her during
the church sermon.

“Baby” I jumped and turned, it was Sakhile, he

scared me.

“What do you want Sakhile?’’ I asked with a bit

of a tone.

“I want us to talk...” I interrupt him.

“We are talking aren’t we?” I say

“I am sorry about what I did, it was never

supposed to happen in the first place” he comes
closer and stands in front of me.
“You hurt me, more than just hitting me but you
bruised my feelings” he is silent.

“Who did this to you?” I asked him, his face was

badly bruised.

“Gatseni” he says

“Mmh”

“I am sorry” he says and he hugs me and I start

to feel the pain before I cry.

“I miss her so much” I sob on his chest.

“Me too baby, me too”

He keeps on comforting me.

_______
A few weeks passed and it was already month
end , it’s the day Sakhile’s family is coming to
pay for my dowry , Nosi wasn’t approving but
she told me if he does something to me , I
should tell her and she will stab him to death. I
know she will have my back , Mam’Zikhali
came to help with the preparations and we are
doing the best we can, if they don’t get
impressed then I am sorry they have to bare we
us, we can’t meet up to their standard but we
tried shame. I was rushing around the yard
seeing if everything is in great order . My
grandmother catches me .

“Go to your room , they will arrive anytime” she

said and I nodded before going to my room.
Nosi was here with me so as Amahle who is
Mam'Zikhali’s daughter. I haven’t gotten a call
or Sms from Sakhile since yesterday and from
his Facebook posts it shows that he was
celebrating last night. His cousin did though
check up on me and we ended up talking briefly
and it ended there. Nothing serious and I won’t
tell you who it is. I tried Sakhile’s numbers but
still nothing.

“Trouble?” Amahle asks.

“No” I put my phone away and Nosi gives me a

look, I know she wants to talk.

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t say

anything” I say looking at her.

“I didn’t say anything” She says

“Oh” I say. We hear shouting from outside and I

go and look out of the window and they are
standing by the gate, my heart is beating fast
that I am about to vomit it out of my mouth. I
see one of my uncles going to the gate and they
seem to be negotiating, Sakhile’s uncle puts
down two bottles of whisky but still my uncles
are not satisfied with iVula masango . They are
being greedy and will ruin things for me .

“They are asking for more!” I say huffing while

peaking.

“You are not cheap” Nosi says

“They haven’t even gotten inside to even say if I

am cheap or not” I turn to her and back to the
curtain. A few notes are placed and they open
the gate, finally !

“I should tell gogo to charge them for Sakhile

taking your virginity” she stands up.

“Sit down Nosibusiso” I say.

“You are lucky Slie” Amahle says and I smile.

“Thank you” I sit on the bed. We can hear bits

of what’s going on but the rest we don’t. we get
called out to come and we do with blankets
over our shoulders as we kneel and bow our
heads.

“Iyiphi kulezi zimbali zethu zontathu

eniyikhethayo( which flower between our 3
flowers that you are choosing?)” my uncle asks.

“ The one on the right” I breath out.

“Slindokuhle”

“Malume(Uncle)” I say

“Do you know these men?” he says and I look

up and nod.

“Yes I know them” I say.

“You can excuse us “ we stood up and left, I took

my phone and tried Sakhile once more but it
rang unanswered, I am getting frustrated.

“Are you leaving after this?” Amahle asks me

and I look at her.

“After uMembeso which is Next week” I say.

“Ok “She says. I make a call again and this time

it gets answered.

“I have been calling you all day Sak…..” I was

interrupted.
“Who is this?” Who is she?

We heard ululating and my grandmother

walked in.

“All went well.” She says.

“Who are you?” I say and the line goes dead. I

try the number again but nothing once more.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Just a few weeks ago we were heartbroken and

sad and now we are joyful in these very yards, I
can’t stop myself from smiling , even Nosi and
my grandmother are in a very Joyful mood as I
am, it’s the day the Ndlovu and Bhengu Family
become one. You have had a glimpse of what
my life has been like but before we continue let
me formally introduce myself. My name is
Slindokuhle Bhengu, 21 years of age . I am a
woman with a big soft heart and it’s very
forgiving. I do have a temper but not all the
time, My horoscope sign is Pisces. I don’t know
who my father is but all I know is that my
mother got me from a one night stand, yes that
is all I know . My mother is married and I have
3 younger siblings but we have never bonded
that much to have a tight bond. I have a
daughter, Owami Ndlovu. She is my angel and
will forever be one, the love of my life, my
everything. I lost her to death but I am sure she
is looking down on me wherever she is, I had
her when I was 18 years old and in the near
future I will be wife to her father. Sakhile
Ndlovu, the love of my life. I met him one
Friday at the taxi rank and after him wanting
my number for so long I gave in to being his
woman, we had our ups and downs but which
couple doesn’t? I live with my grandmother and
my cousin Nosibusiso, she is my late Uncle’s
daughter. All we know is that he came back
with her as an infant and when she was 4 he
died from a car accident, a truck collided with
the taxi he was in and he didn’t survive. I had
dreams while young but they were put on hold
when I had my daughter, carry on this life with
me shall we? Need some wine? Grab it and
have a good spot to watch my life pass by.

Last week my dowry was paid and today its

uMembeso. The Ndlovu family are bringing
gifts for my family as a sign of thanking them
for grooming me into the woman I have
become, my mother told me that. Here I am
dressed in a navy blue and white traditional
dress with a blanket over my shoulders and an
umbrella, its scorching hot and the fact that I
had to change outside is just another matter but
hey its tradition, I regret wearing the dress I
was wearing when they fetched me from home
because I didn’t know that I am not allowed to
wear it ever again, it was my favorite dress.

“Isencane lengane !....”

They start singing traditional songs as they are

escorting me inside the yard, I still can’t get
over how big Sakhile’s family is. They just filled
up our whole yard and 3 taxis full, I won’t
mention the cars that they came in. Badla
izambane likapondo (They are wealthy) shame,
that’s why Sakhile gets things on a Silver
platter, I don’t think he will ever know how
hard worked money will feel like but we are
not there. we get in the yard and my
grandmother is ululating the loudest, I smile as
I get seated on the grass mat with my little
sister next to me, I look around and Baba is
smiling and looks happy as well, I see Sakhile’s
cousins who I know of cause, they are also here.
The women move out singing now to get
Sakhile, I haven’t seen him in a week and no I
haven’t forgotten about the woman voice but I
will ask him when we get to his apartment. I am
moving in with him today.

“Weh sibari , weh sibari ! sbari wami

Mbuyisele khaya !
Ungisize ungamushayi
Ungambulali
Mayekwehlula , Mbuyisele ekhaya !...”

They sing while coming back with Sakhile who

is in navy chino pants and same designed
traditional top and black Lacoste sneakers. You
can never go wrong with a hat or sneaker with
Sakhile but today he doesn’t have a hat, his
moustache is nicely done and his hair as well, I
smile automatically without any warning. He
looks so handsome.

As they are approaching us , they seat him on a

chair and put a huge ass blanket on his
shoulders , he looks at me and he smirks. I
blush while looking down and the ceremony
proceeds.
________
Everything goes as planned and all the gifts
ment for my family is handed to them and the
whole event went smoothly. Food is getting
served and finally I can get away from this hot
blanket, I gave it to Nosi who took it away and
Sakhile was standing with his father and uncles
while chatting a bit, I went towards them and
Baba smiled.

“Makoti” he said
“Baba” Sakhile holds my waist.

“What a beautiful thing you two are doing” he

says

“She is the woman I love, she deserves this and

more” Sakhile says and I blush.

“Have you eaten bobaba?” I ask them

“Don’t worry about that, our food got served” I

nodded

“We will see you “

They left and I was standing with Sakhile, I

stood in front of him and he touched my cheek
before he fiddles with his pocket and he takes
out a little box and goes down one knee, he
opens it and a ring appears. I hear people
ululating and they gather around.

“Will you marry me Sthandwa Sam?” Sakhile

said and tears stained my cheeks.

He looked at me and I smiled while bringing

forth my left hand and people around us made
more noise as he slips it in my finger and kissed
my hand. He stood up and perked my lips then
went onto my forehead

“You are beautiful” he says.

“Thank you” I say

“I love you baby” he say

“I love you so much Sakhile” he kisses my

forehead.
_________
He has been busy on his phone since we have
entered this shop, I guess from now on it is
going to be my mission to make sure we have
everything we need inside the flat. The Alcohol
in the fridge has to minimize at this point, the
fridge is for food not alcohol.

“Maybe I should try cooking some prawns

today, what do you think?” I take the frozen
prawns and look at the price before I turn to
him.

“Sakhile!” he looks up to me from the phone.

“You can take anything you want” he says and

goes back to his phone. I stand there and just
look at him and he looks up to me.

“Ok, I will put it away” he says putting his

phone away.

“Thank you” I say and throw the prawns inside

the trolley.

“What more do you need?” he asks

“We just need a few spices, we have the meat

and the vegetables and the big stuff like rice
and Maize meal and oil as well.” I say looking
inside the trolley.

“My cousins are coming at 14h00 to see us “ he

says

“Ok “ I push the trolley as we walk through the

store.

We get the things I need and we get some

toiletries as well with cleaning supplies and we
were done. We went to the till to pay.

“Are you going to work tomorrow?” I ask him.

He takes bubble gum and throws it inside the

trolley.

“Yes I am “I nod.

“I was thinking of going and registering for a

nursing course since I have nothing holding me
back” I say.

“Mmmh , we will talk about that” he says and I

nod.

We get done with everything and we are

walking out of the mall to the parking lot. We
get to the car and the car guard helps with the
loading and Sakhile gives him money after and
he thanks us, we get inside the car and Sakhile
drives off to the garage first and puts petrol in
his car, he shares the bubble gum with me and
after he pays he drives back to the apartment.
We get there and we get out and went up , he
brought the stuff inside while I put everything
where it’s supposed to go, I woke up early this
morning just so I could clean and then we could
go grocery shopping. My phone rings as I am
putting the bathing foams in the bathroom and
the rest of our toiletries that we need in the
bathroom, I take it out and answer.

“Mntase!” She is a bit noisy today.

“Nosi, how are you?”

“ I am good, how are you? How is that thing of

yours”
“Nosibusiso”

“Askies ke, how is your Sakhile?”

“He is good, we are good” I walk out of the

bathroom once I am done.

“I can’t believe you left us” she says

“I will visit”

I go into the bedroom and I open the wardrobe

to put the rest of my clothes inside.

“Do so or better yet get Sakhile’s card so you

can take me out to Essence”

“Essence?” I ask

“Haibo , you live in Pietermaritzaburg but you

don’t know where Essence is? I mean white
people eat there yoh Mntase” she says and I
laugh.

“Ok, I will see”

“I love you mncwa mncwa” I giggle

“I love you too” she hangs up.

I need to sort this one out as well, I start with
the task at hand and as I am taking out some of
Sakhile’s clothes so I can have some space to
put mine I am met by an underwear and its
definetly not mine. I went out of the bedroom
and he was sitting on the couch drinking some
beer. I threw it on his lap and he stopped
drinking and looked at me.

“So we are going to look at each other?”I say.

“I don’t know who it belongs to” he says.

“I am not a fool Sakhile, I am not!”

He stands up.

“I am telling you that I don’t know who this

belongs to Slindo, What do you want from me
?”

“The truth Sakhile, ekabani ?(Who does it

belong to?)” he comes closer to me

“Baby, I am not cheating. I wouldn’t do that.”

He is not telling me anything, how does another

lady’s underwear end up in his room unless he
is cheating. He is sleeping with that woman.
“Slie” he says

“Mmh”

“Trust me baby”

“I don’t know”

“If I didn’t love you , I wouldn’t have asked us to

get back together, I wouldn’t have asked you to
marry me , believe me “

He is right, he is marrying me. That’s important

right?

“Go and burn that, I don’t want it here” he

nodded and perked my lips

“I love you” he says

I look at him

“I love you too”

_________
“How are you handling everything?” Afika’s
girlfriend asks.

“Well so far, we will just have to see” I hand the

plate over to her so she could dry it.

“How long have you dated Sakhile?” Sikelela’s

girlfriend asks.

She has a bit of attitude towards me so as

Nazo’s boss lady.

“We dated when I was 18 for 8 months I think

and we broke up and after 3 years we dated
again for a couple of months” I reply and wipe
my hands from the soap and drain the water
from the sink.

“ I dated Nazo for 6 years , what’s special about

you?” Nazo’s girlfriend says and I am silent.

I don’t know why I am being involved in their

relationships just because mine is going in the
direction they want theirs to go. Sakhile walks
in the kitchen and kisses my cheek and holds
my waist.

“I hope you ladies are treating my woman well”

“We try” one of them says.

He whispers in my ear.

“Zethule is here, please can you dish up for

him” I nodded and he kissed my cheek.

“I love you” he walks off, they look at me and I

go and dish up for his friend.

CHAPTER NINE

“Now that man of yours is coming to his senses

“

She puts the wine down after taking a photo of

the whole meal.

“Please, I missed you” I say to Nosi .

I haven’t seen her in a week and that was

frustrating. Sakhile gave me some money just so
I could go out since I get bored inside the
apartment just cleaning and cooking for him,
we have been discussing steps that we are going
to take once we get married and he is
considering selling his apartment and buying a
house that we will both be comfortable in
expanding. I am not ready for kids, I still have a
bleeding spot inside of me about Owami, I miss
her every single day.
We are at Essence and I was dropped off here
by Sakhile, Nosi wasn’t wrong and I wouldn’t
afford just coming here to eat. She is on her 3rd
glass of wine so I ordered the whole bottle for
her so she could drink a bit better.

“Taste this , heaven “ she hands me her wine

glass and I look at her

“Taste”

I took the wine glass and took a sip. Not bad

“It’s nice”

“ Quality wine “ she gulps the rest of her

substance.

“So update me about your life”

She seems more interested in my life right now

more than ever , I cut through my food and I
look at her.

“Well things are amazing on my side”

I won’t iron my business out to her even though

she is my cousin, I won’t tell her I found a G-
string in Sakhile’s wardrobe and he denied ever
knowing who it belongs to, she will just say that
he is cheating before I could even finish telling
her my story.

“You do look amazing , don’t be scared to say

what he does to you nana “ she says , I smile at
her.

“I won’t , thank you” I drink my water.

“So , you and Dumisani”

“Oh that man is made for me “ she lights up.

“ I am happy that you are happy”

“hey lets go to the Sun dance on Sunday” I give

her a look.

“Yeka ukubora, ushadile manje( Stop being

boring , you are married now)”

“I will see “

“ Sunday” I nodded.

“If Sakhile doesn’t have plans for us”

“ I love my blanket by the way”

I smiled and giggled, she joined me in.

“Are you warming up to Sakhile?”

“Maybe”

“That’s good”

We carried on eating and having a good time, I

missed us so much and she didn’t slow down on
the wine as well. I asked for some water for her
and the waiter brought it back.

“Slindo!” I turned around and it was Nazo, he

made his way towards us.

“Mmmh who is he?” Nosi said while eying him.

“Sakhile’s cousin, has a possessive girlfriend”

“Two can play that game” she drinks her wine.

“Nosi!” I whisper.

“Here he comes”she says.

“Ladies” he says.
“Hi” I turn to him and he looks down on me.

“How are you ?” he asks as his voice was low

but deeper than it already is.

“I am well and yourself ?”

“I am good”

“Oh this is my cousin , Nosibusiso .Nosi this is

Snazozonke, Sakhile’s Cousin”

He reaches out for her hand and kisses it.

“Nice to meet you in-law” he says.

“Maybe we can bring more relation between

our families, don’t you think?” She says and I
give her a stare.

“My heart is occupied by one woman” he says

“Bummer then” can this one ever shut up?

“What are you doing this side?” I interrupt this

conversation. He turns to me.

“Business enquires, I am going back today” I

nodded.
“Oh , I see”

“Well it was nice meeting you Nosi and seeing

you Slindokuhle”

“It was nice meeting you too” Nosi says, he

smiles and walks off.

“Mmh damn ,some parents didn’t waste their

time pushing humans like him”

“Dumisani will kill you “ I say

“I am just complimenting “

“Mmh”

I looked at the time.

“let me get the bill” I called the waiter and

asked for the bill.

“Your bill has been settled mam”

“Who did?’” I ask

“Do you care, saved you a lot of shopping

money. I am sure it’s that hot chocolate” Nosi
says

“Nosi! yoh lets go “ we stood up and thanked

the waiter, we walked out.
_______
I can’t seem to put my hands down when
reading this book, I have just started reading
this book that I have just recently got from the
book shop. I am not a fan of reading but this
one is the one I really indulged myself into
reading and its interesting “Keeper of the bride”
, its title captured me and called upon me into
buying it and so I did. A early 90’s release but
that old woman from the shop said it’s a very
good read so I trusted her and I am glad I did.

The door opens and I lift my head up to look at

him and he seems tired. I close the book and
place it on the couch and he comes and throws
himself next to me heaving a sigh.

“How was your day?” I ask

“I am tired”

“Let me dish up for you and you go and bath”

he smiles looking at me and leans to perk my
lips.

“That would be wonderful”

I stand up from the couch.

“And we need to talk about my nursing school”

I say while walking to the kitchen.

“We will , just not now” I nodded.

“yes , it’s not something I want to do now, I

have to first fix my matric results”

“I will speak to Zethule about that, he knows a

guy” he says, I dish up for him.

“I hope it’s not something shady Sakhile”

“No its not”

“Good then” I finish up and I take a dish and fill

some water and I go and wash his hands and
then I serve him food.

“I feel like a king”

“You are mine”

“You are my Queen baby” I smiled. I went back

to my book.
_______

Last week I was home , Bab’Ndlovu said I

needed to be cleansed for Owami’s death. So I
had to go back home and get cleansed. It wasn’t
much but he is a very traditional man as I have
said . Sakhile and I are going to do the rest of
the events next year then. I love him so much
and he showers me with love and attention ,
also gifts here and there. Just recently he
bought a new phone for me and gave me
money to do my hair and pamper myself. I did
just that and spoilt myself.

Today is one of his cousin’s birthday party and

we are heading to Durban. I am assuming that
its Nazo’s siblings. One of them and so the
whole Ndlovu family will be there. I am
nervous as it is even though I shouldn’t be but I
am . Having Sakhile there will ease my mind a
bit.
We arrived in Durban and we got just on time
at the party. We got out of the car and I was
holding the present. I didn’t know who the
party is for so I settled I bought a shopping
voucher. I am not really good at Gifting and
Sakhile didn’t see the need for it but I think it
would be rude coming to a party empty handed.
We entered the house and It was very beautiful
, I noticed a helper and I assume all the men in
this family have helpers when they are aging.
“Makoti” I turn and its Sakhile’s father already
downing some Brandy.

“baba”

He comes closer to us and they share a hand

shake with Sakhile.

“Gatseni “ he says

He nods.

“How are you ?” he asks

“ I am well baba” I say.

“ I can see, I hope he is still treating you well”

“He is, Very much” Sakhile holds my waist.

“ I am happy to hear that, lets join the rest of

the family” we walked outside and already the
mingling is being done, Sakhile is introducing to
everyone in his family, showing me off like am
the most amazing thing that has happened in
his life.

He will be like“Malume this is Slindokuhle , the

love of my life or Aunty “Which ever one we
are facing that moment. We went to join his
cousins and they start being their jokester
selves. Nazo’s girlfriend is shooting daggers at
me the whole time and I don’t understand what
I did to her. We get told to go and help with the
serving since the catering team was hired to
cook. We get excused as the ladies and went
inside. She pulls me to a room and shuts the
door with just the both of us inside. She releases
a slap on me and I am astonished and
wondering what did I do?

“Wha…”

“Shut up bitch , just shut up!”

she says and I think she is losing it but over

what?

“What did I do?”

“I have spent 6 years with that man , I wouldn’t

let any tramp come between us not even you”

I am more confused as ever. She slaps my other

cheek while I am trying to process what’s going
on.

“Whatever you are trying to achieve won't be “

“I don’t understand” I am more scared now
because she is giving me a death stare, can't
someone see that I am missing and with a
psycho?

“Nazo, he can’t stop having wet dreams about

you and last night he called me by your name
while we were fucking ! fucking ! “

She starts to choke me and I am not backing

down the fight. I push her against the wall and
kicked her stomach ,she gasps and lets me go
before I open the door and I rush out. I am
shaking. Why would Nazo do that? Dream
about me and call his lady by my name ? I just
don’t understand . I walk to find Sakhile and I
reach him.

“Slindo what’s wrong?” Nazo is the first one to

ask while he stands up. I am angry at him for
almost killing me with his girlfriend.

“baby what’s wrong?” Sakhile he stands up too

and embraces me and I sob.

“She… She “ I hiccup

“Tell me “
“I want to…”

“get her sugared water so she can calm down”

one of the aunts say.

I can’t even speak , I just keep on sobbing in his

arms. I can’t speak up because I might come
between them about what Nazo’s girlfriend said
to me but I am still wondering why would he
dream about me.

CHAPTER TEN

I don’t know what makes me more happy, that I

am in front of God about to promise myself to
this man for life or the amount of people that
are looking at us and here to enjoy , some are
here just to confirm if we are really getting
married and I am becoming a Ndlovu.
Its been a Year and I have forgotten about the
Nazo Saga, well I have never really said
anything about what happened and I don’t
want to dwell on it . My mind and heart is here,
he smiles while looking at me and I do the same
.
“You look beautiful”

Its one thing he never forgets to say to me , tell

me that I look beautiful and I am the love of his
life. He is the love of my life, my eternity. When
I said those vows I committed myself to him till
death do us apart and so as him, I promised him
that I will stick through thick and thin with him
and I am prepared for it. I am prepared to do
so. Nosi by my side as she has always been
since day one. She has never left my side and
seems very worthy to be my matron of honor.

He slips in the cold metal on my finger and it’s a

stamp that I am now his helper, his wife and his
sanctuary and also his forever. Tears stream
down my cheeks as I look at him through the
veil. I am happy at the moment that he made
me his wife out of all the women he could’ve
taken. I do the same with him and officially
mark my husband and take him off the market,
he removes my veil and he wipes my tear
before he seals everything with a kiss that now
I am not Slindokuhle Bhengu but Ndlovu.
Speeches get done and my mother is raving of
how proud she is of grooming me to this lady
that I am. I rolled my eyes at that because my
grandmother is the one who raised me, I am
touched by my grandmother’s words and a
spark of tears flow, Nosi throws in threats here
and there in her speech and I am embarrassed
but I love her to bits. Bab’Ndlovu is proud of his
son by the way he talks and his mother is
brought up and Sakhile seems emotional for a
moment. Everyone is and Owami pops up in my
head. I hold his hand as his face hardens at the
rememberance of his mother. I hope Sakhile
will be able to protect me during taxi wars but
so far I have nothing to worry about. The
speeches are done and dusted and we are now
eating.

“Are you ok?”

I ask Sakhile and he holds my hand and kisses

it.

“I am happy” I am too.

“Me too”

We get done with the eating and have go to the

dance floor for our first dance and then people
join in as well, the music changes and its more
of Sakhile’s house and Kwaito music, he shows
off his dancing skills and cameras are all
around. I can’t even dance to save my life. Not
even the sprinkle. Its shows that this husband
of mine knows the dance floor very well. The
cake cutting comes and I get smeared some
cake on my lips and Sakhile kisses it away
making me blush in front of people. its getting
dark and Sakhile is talking to his father a bit
outside, people who are provided transport
start to leave. We will see them tomorrow once
more. I am now seated down while drinking
some juice and didn’t try any wine, I am not
used to high heels as well and that also
contributes to me being tired. Tomorrow is
going to be a drag than today and I am not
prepared and I have this bad feeling that won’t
just go away.

“May I have this dance?” I look at him.

I take a sip off my beverage and he is still

standing there.

“My feet hurt” I say , I am trying to avoid any

interaction with him.

He crutches in front of me and pulls my dress

up a bit revealing my feet and he takes off the
shoes and stands up, probably people are
watching. He stands up and takes my hand and
pulls me up. Clearly he can’t take a hint of my
hidden no from my statement. The floor is cold
and he places his hand on my waist and he
starts moving with me and the rest of those
who are still dancing. He looks down on me and
I look away.

“You looked beautiful” he says.

“Thank you”

Its silent for a moment between us.

“ Where is your lady?” I ask him.

Why am I asking about that psycho in the first

place, she might be near and ready to pounce
on me anytime.

“Durban” he says and I nod.

“She told you” he said, I want to forget

whatever she told me.

“What?” I make it seem like I have no clue what

he is talking about when I do know.

“ Nothing , forget I said anything” I nodded

“May I take over” it’s Sakhile, he nods and gives

me to Sakhile before he walks off.

“Is everything fine?” I ask him.

“Everything is ok” I nod.

I rest my head on his shoulder and listen to his

breathing patterns. He kisses my forehead.

“I love you” I say

“I love you too Baby”

This is beautiful.
___________
I can’t get over how handsome Sakhile gets over
the years, I thought suits suited him but no. Him
being in Ibheshu suits him more than anything.
It’s the official wedding , the Zulu wedding,
uMabo. When Sakhile paid on my lobolo day he
paid for 11 cows of which the 2 will be brought
by my family as now I am gifting his family and
I am getting married, the kiest is important .
Not forgetting myself in isdwaba. I must say
that I look wonderful in it. We are in Msinga at
his home stead and its our traditional wedding .
I was given an little spear and I have to pin it in
front of the man who has claimed my heart and
I do so and I look at him. Mmh , let me not go
there. I gift his whole family and everything
turns out wonderful. Now I have to prepare my
husband for his rest, I have to show how I will
be taking care of him, I make the mattress and I
sit him there and he is chuckling bit by bit as
the women are ready to attack when I have laid
him down. I wash his feet and I prep him well, I
love Sakhile’s hairy legs. They just make him
look sexy. I finally lay him and move away and
Nosi is the first one to pounce at hitting him
while he rushes off, I think she has wanted to
do that since the time she knew about him.

We are still in the wedding moment when Gun

shots are released and people are rushing off.

“Get down!”

Nazo tackles me and we both land on the floor,

I see some dusts and I look to the side and
Sakhile’s uncles and father are shooting at the
direction where some taxi is driving off.

“Sliindokuhle!”

Someone screams for me, Nazo doesn’t get off

me.

“Are you ok?” he looks at me, for a second I

thought he is dead or something , not that I
wished that upon him.

“Yes , uhm yes”

“Sakhile ! someone get him to the hospital”

Nazo gets off me and pulls me up and the sight

of my husband is weakening me . I start to cry.
“Carry him and load him in a taxi”

I should’ve known that bad feeling I had

yesterday ment this.
____________
“It’s Gobela I know it.! He has always felt
threatened about me since I got the Hayfields
route and gave it to Sakhile”

The smell of disinfectant is on my nose, I am

having hiccups and I have ran out of tears. His
father is on the phone with someone in a
distance but I can hear what he is saying.

“I am going to kill him , he messed with me

through Sakhile. He will know me !”

He hangs up and comes towards us as we are

waiting for some news. The ladies here are not
crying like I am. I feel like they are used to this,
I am not and don’t even want to get used to it. Is
this the life we are going to live. Fearing for
ourselves.

“He will be fine Makoti” I look at Bab’Ndlovu.

How does he know that he will be fine? I look

away from him before I shed some fresh tears
because my body has generated new one for me
to release.
“Ndlovu”

We are all on our feet waiting to hear how he is,

is he ok or will he be ok atleast. I just want my
husband back.
__________
“S…Sakhile” I say softly while touching his face

The machines are connected to him and he

looks peaceful, tears stream down my cheeks.

“Sthandwa sam I need you , fight for us . don’t

leave me like Owami”

“he will be fine” I turn to the door and he is

standing there looking at me.

I wipe my tears.

“Malume said I should call you” he says.

“I can’t leave him”

“You will see him tomorrow” I nodded and

kissed Sakhile’s forehead.

“ I will see you. I love you so much”

I walked away from him, my heart broke seeing
him that state, I don’t want to lose him. I would
be nothing. I pray that my husband gets better.
We walk to where Bab'Ndlovu is with the rest
of the family and I try pushing back the tears
and swallowing the lump.

“We need to leave , we will see him tomorrow

Ndodakazi”He says. He is still angry I can see.

I just nod and Nazo speaks.

“I will take her to your house Malume ”he says

“Please do, I will see you later”He walks off, I

have been trying to avoid Nazo as much as
possible but that just can't happen. We say our
goodbyes and we walk out of the hospital, we
get to the car and I just break down as soon as
the door closes and Nazo gets in his side and he
pulls me in a hug and I am weeping like my
Sakhile has left me, I can't imagine my life
without him in it.

“He will be ok, he is strong. Don't cry” He says

while hushing me.

“I...I..” I lose my breath and he is rubbing my

back hushing me.
 When I have calmed down he starts the car
and drives off. We arrive at Sakhile's home and
I feel tired, I just need to bath and comfort
myself. I wish I didn't leave him there. We get
out of the car and we make our way inside the
house and Nazo goes to drink some water. He
turns to me when he is done and places hands
in his pocket and looks at me.

“Will you be fine?”he asks and I nod.

“I will go and sleep” I say

“Ok, I will be outside if you need me”i nodded.

“Thank you”he smiled and I walk off through

the passage and I stand by his bedroom door
and got in slowly. I opened the lights and it is
clean, I close the door and get on his bed and I
just cry.
_______
I woke up very late, at 9 am and I am
embarrassed. I shouldn't wake up at this time in
my in-laws home. I rush while getting out of
the bed and I make it then open the door and
check the coast. No one is in sight so I rush to
the bathroom and I take a quick bath and get
done. I go and change into a long skirt and top
with a doek as well, I need my phone. I am sure
Nosi called just to check if I am still fine or if I
am coping at the moment. I get to the end of the
passage and i stand there for sometime
breathing in and out while running my fingers
on my skirt before I did a silent prayer and
walked towards the dinning room and I could
see the helper and Nazo having some breakfast
on the dining room table while reading a news
paper.

“Good morning” I say

“Good morning Slindo, how did you sleep?”

Nazo asks

“I survived” I said and he nodded while looking

at me, this is awkward.

“Is baba still resting?” I ask.

“No he didn't come back” He says and his stare

is still on me, the helper comes and brings a
tray of breakfast for me and I thank her before
I sat down.

“I need to visit Sakhile”I say

“Visiting hours are from 11h00” I nod , two

hours. I can wait.

“Slindo” He says and I look at him.

“Yes?”

He places the newspaper on the table and shifts

his plate aside.

“Define Sakhile for me”

He says

“He is your cousin , my husband. The man I

truely love” he nods

“Can you define what love is?” he says. I look at

him and move the plate aside as well.

“Love forgives and love is deep, to me love is

what Sakhile and I share and will always share”
I take my food and start eating.

“I hear you ” he stands up and takes the plate.

“I need to make some calls” I nod and he walks

off, I finally breathe out and I push the food
aside. Nazo creeps me out and I don't like the
way he looks at me, it doesn't settle me well.
Actually it annoys me, I need to ask him about
my phone. I stand up and I go outside and he is
on call.

“Yeah baby I will be back soon.” he says. I

assume it's his psycho.

“No, I will see you ok?”

“Bye” he says and I clear my throat as he hangs

up and he turns to me.

“Sorry to disturb you , have you seen my

phone?” I ask. He takes it out of his pocket and
hands it to me but holds my arm as I turn to
walk away.

“Slindokuhke” he says

“Yes?” he gives me his unsettling look and steps

closer making our bodies close and next thing
his lips are on mine. I pushed him off me.

“Don't ever do that Nazo, ever ”

I walk off, my heart is thudding. Is that

cheating? He kissed me but I feel so guilty and
dirty, not so long ago I was married off. Oh god
when is my Sakhile waking up? I went back to
having my breakfast and still baba wasn't back,
I went to the lounge to watch some TV so I can
distract myself for a little while.

“We can go to the hospital” I turn and it was

Nazo.
“Ok” I stood up switching off the tv and
followed after him.

He is already by the car and he opened the

door for me,I get inside and thank him. He
smiled and went to the driver's side and gets in
before he drives off.

“Slindo” I look at him.

“I am sorry for kissing you” he says

“Let it be the last time Nazo” he nods

“Don't tell Sakhile” he says

“He is my husband, I can't lie” I say.

“He is short tempered, you know how he is.” he

is right.

“Ok , just don't kiss me, keep your lips to your

bossy girlfriend”

He chuckled

“Wow, ok” why is he surprised, she is bossy.

The whole drive was now silent and no one was
talking to anyone anymore.
_______
We got to the hospital and we were let in, He
was awake when we got in and I am so happy.

"Sakhile” I said, the nurse was cleaning his

sounds. He groans.

“Sthandwa Sam” he says and I smile trying to

pushing my tears back and I do.

“I am ok”he says that seeing the expression on

my face.

“I am happy you are ok, I don't know what I

would be without you”

“Me too Slindo ”

Nazo is standing there all silent while looking

at us, the nurse gets done and I sit next to him
and keep on asking if he is fine and he says he
is fine. Nazo finally speaks and asks when he
will be discharged and Sakhile said the Doctor
will inform him of that, I am just happy that my
husband is ok.
CHAPTER TEN

I don’t know what makes me more happy, that I

am in front of God about to promise myself to
this man for life or the amount of people that
are looking at us and here to enjoy , some are
here just to confirm if we are really getting
married and I am becoming a Ndlovu.
Its been a Year and I have forgotten about the
Nazo Saga, well I have never really said
anything about what happened and I don’t
want to dwell on it . My mind and heart is here,
he smiles while looking at me and I do the same
.

“You look beautiful”

Its one thing he never forgets to say to me , tell

me that I look beautiful and I am the love of his
life. He is the love of my life, my eternity. When
I said those vows I committed myself to him till
death do us apart and so as him, I promised him
that I will stick through thick and thin with him
and I am prepared for it. I am prepared to do
so. Nosi by my side as she has always been
since day one. She has never left my side and
seems very worthy to be my matron of honor.

He slips in the cold metal on my finger and it’s a

stamp that I am now his helper, his wife and his
sanctuary and also his forever. Tears stream
down my cheeks as I look at him through the
veil. I am happy at the moment that he made
me his wife out of all the women he could’ve
taken. I do the same with him and officially
mark my husband and take him off the market,
he removes my veil and he wipes my tear
before he seals everything with a kiss that now
I am not Slindokuhle Bhengu but Ndlovu.
Speeches get done and my mother is raving of
how proud she is of grooming me to this lady
that I am. I rolled my eyes at that because my
grandmother is the one who raised me, I am
touched by my grandmother’s words and a
spark of tears flow, Nosi throws in threats here
and there in her speech and I am embarrassed
but I love her to bits. Bab’Ndlovu is proud of his
son by the way he talks and his mother is
brought up and Sakhile seems emotional for a
moment. Everyone is and Owami pops up in my
head. I hold his hand as his face hardens at the
rememberance of his mother. I hope Sakhile
will be able to protect me during taxi wars but
so far I have nothing to worry about. The
speeches are done and dusted and we are now
eating.

“Are you ok?”

I ask Sakhile and he holds my hand and kisses

it.
“I am happy” I am too.

“Me too”

We get done with the eating and have go to the

dance floor for our first dance and then people
join in as well, the music changes and its more
of Sakhile’s house and Kwaito music, he shows
off his dancing skills and cameras are all
around. I can’t even dance to save my life. Not
even the sprinkle. Its shows that this husband
of mine knows the dance floor very well. The
cake cutting comes and I get smeared some
cake on my lips and Sakhile kisses it away
making me blush in front of people. its getting
dark and Sakhile is talking to his father a bit
outside, people who are provided transport
start to leave. We will see them tomorrow once
more. I am now seated down while drinking
some juice and didn’t try any wine, I am not
used to high heels as well and that also
contributes to me being tired. Tomorrow is
going to be a drag than today and I am not
prepared and I have this bad feeling that won’t
just go away.

“May I have this dance?” I look at him.

I take a sip off my beverage and he is still

standing there.
“My feet hurt” I say , I am trying to avoid any
interaction with him.

He crutches in front of me and pulls my dress

up a bit revealing my feet and he takes off the
shoes and stands up, probably people are
watching. He stands up and takes my hand and
pulls me up. Clearly he can’t take a hint of my
hidden no from my statement. The floor is cold
and he places his hand on my waist and he
starts moving with me and the rest of those
who are still dancing. He looks down on me and
I look away.

“You looked beautiful” he says.

“Thank you”

Its silent for a moment between us.

“ Where is your lady?” I ask him.

Why am I asking about that psycho in the first

place, she might be near and ready to pounce
on me anytime.

“Durban” he says and I nod.

“She told you” he said, I want to forget

whatever she told me.

“What?” I make it seem like I have no clue what

he is talking about when I do know.

“ Nothing , forget I said anything” I nodded

“May I take over” it’s Sakhile, he nods and gives

me to Sakhile before he walks off.

“Is everything fine?” I ask him.

“Everything is ok” I nod.

I rest my head on his shoulder and listen to his

breathing patterns. He kisses my forehead.

“I love you” I say

“I love you too Baby”

This is beautiful.
___________
I can’t get over how handsome Sakhile gets over
the years, I thought suits suited him but no. Him
being in Ibheshu suits him more than anything.
It’s the official wedding , the Zulu wedding,
uMabo. When Sakhile paid on my lobolo day he
paid for 11 cows of which the 2 will be brought
by my family as now I am gifting his family and
I am getting married, the kiest is important .
Not forgetting myself in isdwaba. I must say
that I look wonderful in it. We are in Msinga at
his home stead and its our traditional wedding .
I was given an little spear and I have to pin it in
front of the man who has claimed my heart and
I do so and I look at him. Mmh , let me not go
there. I gift his whole family and everything
turns out wonderful. Now I have to prepare my
husband for his rest, I have to show how I will
be taking care of him, I make the mattress and I
sit him there and he is chuckling bit by bit as
the women are ready to attack when I have laid
him down. I wash his feet and I prep him well, I
love Sakhile’s hairy legs. They just make him
look sexy. I finally lay him and move away and
Nosi is the first one to pounce at hitting him
while he rushes off, I think she has wanted to
do that since the time she knew about him.

We are still in the wedding moment when Gun

shots are released and people are rushing off.

“Get down!”

Nazo tackles me and we both land on the floor,

I see some dusts and I look to the side and
Sakhile’s uncles and father are shooting at the
direction where some taxi is driving off.

“Sliindokuhle!”
Someone screams for me, Nazo doesn’t get off
me.

“Are you ok?” he looks at me, for a second I

thought he is dead or something , not that I
wished that upon him.

“Yes , uhm yes”

“Sakhile ! someone get him to the hospital”

Nazo gets off me and pulls me up and the sight

of my husband is weakening me . I start to cry.

“Carry him and load him in a taxi”

I should’ve known that bad feeling I had

yesterday ment this.
____________
“It’s Gobela I know it.! He has always felt
threatened about me since I got the Hayfields
route and gave it to Sakhile”

The smell of disinfectant is on my nose, I am

having hiccups and I have ran out of tears. His
father is on the phone with someone in a
distance but I can hear what he is saying.

“I am going to kill him , he messed with me

through Sakhile. He will know me !”

He hangs up and comes towards us as we are

waiting for some news. The ladies here are not
crying like I am. I feel like they are used to this,
I am not and don’t even want to get used to it. Is
this the life we are going to live. Fearing for
ourselves.

“He will be fine Makoti” I look at Bab’Ndlovu.

How does he know that he will be fine? I look

away from him before I shed some fresh tears
because my body has generated new one for me
to release.

“Ndlovu”

We are all on our feet waiting to hear how he is,

is he ok or will he be ok atleast. I just want my
husband back.
__________
“S…Sakhile” I say softly while touching his face

The machines are connected to him and he

looks peaceful, tears stream down my cheeks.

“Sthandwa sam I need you , fight for us . don’t

leave me like Owami”
“he will be fine” I turn to the door and he is
standing there looking at me.

I wipe my tears.

“Malume said I should call you” he says.

“I can’t leave him”

“You will see him tomorrow” I nodded and

kissed Sakhile’s forehead.

“ I will see you. I love you so much”

I walked away from him, my heart broke seeing

him that state, I don’t want to lose him. I would
be nothing. I pray that my husband gets better.
We walk to where Bab'Ndlovu is with the rest
of the family and I try pushing back the tears
and swallowing the lump.

“We need to leave , we will see him tomorrow

Ndodakazi”He says. He is still angry I can see.

I just nod and Nazo speaks.

“I will take her to your house Malume ”he says

“Please do, I will see you later”He walks off.

 I have been trying to avoid Nazo as much as
possible but that just can't happen. We say our
goodbyes and we walk out of the hospital, we
get to the car and I just break down as soon as
the door closes and Nazo gets in his side and he
pulls me in a hug and I am weeping like my
Sakhile has left me, I can't imagine my life
without him in it.

“He will be ok, he is strong. Don't cry” He says

while hushing me.

“I...I..” I lose my breath and he is rubbing my

back hushing me.

When I have calmed down he starts the car

and drives off. We arrive at Sakhile's home and
I feel tired, I just need to bath and comfort
myself. I wish I didn't leave him there. We get
out of the car and we make our way inside the
house and Nazo goes to drink some water. He
turns to me when he is done and places hands
in his pocket and looks at me.

“Will you be fine?”he asks and I nod.

“I will go and sleep” I say

“Ok, I will be outside if you need me”i nodded.

“Thank you”he smiled and I walk off through
the passage and I stand by his bedroom door
and got in slowly. I opened the lights and it is
clean, I close the door and get on his bed and I
just cry.
_______
I woke up very late, at 9 am and I am
embarrassed. I shouldn't wake up at this time in
my in-laws home. I rush while getting out of
the bed and I make it then open the door and
check the coast. No one is in sight so I rush to
the bathroom and I take a quick bath and get
done. I go and change into a long skirt and top
with a doek as well, I need my phone. I am sure
Nosi called just to check if I am still fine or if I
am coping at the moment. I get to the end of the
passage and i stand there for sometime
breathing in and out while running my fingers
on my skirt before I did a silent prayer and
walked towards the dinning room and I could
see the helper and Nazo having some breakfast
on the dining room table while reading a news
paper.

“Good morning” I say

“Good morning Slindo, how did you sleep?”

Nazo asks

“I survived” I said and he nodded while looking

at me, this is awkward.
“Is baba still resting?” I ask.

“No he didn't come back” He says and his stare

is still on me, the helper comes and brings a
tray of breakfast for me and I thank her before
I sat down.

“I need to visit Sakhile”I say

“Visiting hours are from 11h00” I nod , two

hours. I can wait.

“Slindo” He says and I look at him.

“Yes?”

He places the newspaper on the table and shifts

his plate aside.

“Define Sakhile for me”

He says

“He is your cousin , my husband. The man I

truely love” he nods

“Can you define what love is?” he says. I look at

him and move the plate aside as well.
“Love forgives and love is deep, to me love is
what Sakhile and I share and will always share”
I take my food and start eating.

“I hear you ” he stands up and takes the plate.

“I need to make some calls” I nod and he walks

off, I finally breathe out and I push the food
aside. Nazo creeps me out and I don't like the
way he looks at me, it doesn't settle me well.
Actually it annoys me, I need to ask him about
my phone. I stand up and I go outside and he is
on call.

“Yeah baby I will be back soon.” he says. I

assume it's his psycho.

“No, I will see you ok?”

“Bye” he says and I clear my throat as he hangs

up and he turns to me.

“Sorry to disturb you , have you seen my

phone?” I ask. He takes it out of his pocket and
hands it to me but holds my arm as I turn to
walk away.

“Slindokuhke” he says
“Yes?” he gives me his unsettling look and steps
closer making our bodies close and next thing
his lips are on mine. I pushed him off me.

“Don't ever do that Nazo, ever ”

I walk off, my heart is thudding. Is that

cheating? He kissed me but I feel so guilty and
dirty, not so long ago I was married off. Oh god
when is my Sakhile waking up? I went back to
having my breakfast and still baba wasn't back,
I went to the lounge to watch some TV so I can
distract myself for a little while.

“We can go to the hospital” I turn and it was

Nazo.

“Ok” I stood up switching off the tv and

followed after him.

He is already by the car and he opened the

door for me,I get inside and thank him. He
smiled and went to the driver's side and gets in
before he drives off.

“Slindo” I look at him.

“I am sorry for kissing you” he says

“Let it be the last time Nazo” he nods

“Don't tell Sakhile” he says

“He is my husband, I can't lie” I say.

“He is short tempered, you know how he is.” he

is right.

“Ok , just don't kiss me, keep your lips to your

bossy girlfriend”

He chuckled

“Wow, ok” why is he surprised, she is bossy.

The whole drive was now silent and no one was

talking to anyone anymore.
_______
We got to the hospital and we were let in, He
was awake when we got in and I am so happy.

"Sakhile” I said, the nurse was cleaning his

sounds. He groans.

“Sthandwa Sam” he says and I smile trying to

pushing my tears back and I do.

“I am ok”he says that seeing the expression on

my face.
“I am happy you are ok, I don't know what I
would be without you”

“Me too Slindo ”

Nazo is standing there all silent while looking

at us, the nurse gets done and I sit next to him
and keep on asking if he is fine and he says he
is fine. Nazo finally speaks and asks when he
will be discharged and Sakhile said the Doctor
will inform him of that, I am just happy that my
husband is ok.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

“Are you fine?” I ask him taking the pillow and

adjusting him well.

“Don't worry baby I am fine” he says

I can't help myself than to worry.

“Don't worry Makoti he is fine” baba says and I

breathe out.

“Ok, I will whip something quick” I say while

moving from the couch.

“Baby please bring some beer” Sakhile says and

takes the remote next to him.

“No alcohol for a month,Doctors orders" I say

“He is in good hands” his father says before he

sits down lifting his pants and revealing his
checkered socks.

I walk to the kitchen and I take out some

chicken breasts and also some frozen veggies,
something quick is seasoned rice and these
breast with some soft mash and gravy ? No let
me make pap, yes that is suitable! I get on the
work while moving around. I could hear them
talking while I fix some beverages for them
while I cook.

“Start being serious” Bab'Ndlovu says on the

low but his deep voice sells him out.

“I am”Sakhile replies. I walk out of the kitchen

with a tray with their drinks and serve them.

“Food will be ready in a short while”i say

“Siyabonga Ndodakazi(Thank you my

daughter)” Baba says
“Yes baby thank you” I smile and walk off to
carry on with the cooking, they are speaking a
bit clear now.

I wonder what they were talking about earlier. I

wish I could've made out what they were really
talking about because it sounded so very
serious. I am a married woman, this experience
would've been much better with Owami here
running around. I miss her so very much. I stop
the cooking and wipe my tears. I move from
the kitchen leaving the pots at work and go to
the bathroom and I shut myself inside. I need to
calm down before I get too emotional. I want to
call Nosi but at the same time I don't want to
disturb her. I wash my face and wipe it before I
walk out of the bathroom. I went to the kitchen
and carried on where I have left off. Food is
done in a quick Jiffy and I am dishing up for
everyone. How will I attend Bab'Ndlovu? I take
a small basin and pour water inside and a bit of
dishwashing liquid. The swab is on my shoulder
as I walk to them and I kneel. This is the first
and last time I am kneeling for Sakhile, that's
something that won't happen. How will my
knees look like when I do this everyday. They
wash and wipe and they are done. I head back
to the kitchen discarding the water and I take
their food and start serving them. Without any
prayer they are indulging.
“Uyalishaya ibhodwe Ndodakazi (the food is
very delicious)” Bab'Ndlovu says. I smile.

“Thank you”i walk away to the kitchen. I am

not yet hungry so I will indulge in this food
later on.

I keep myself busy in the kitchen until Sakhile's

father calls for me and I leave everything while
going to the lounge.

“Baba” I am am agitated and wanting to know

what he will say next without him saying it
first.

“Sit down ” I sit down per command. I sit next

to Sakhile who switches off the tv and my heart
races. This means its very serious. He looked
between me and his son and placed his hands
in his pocket.
“Sakhile“ he says and his deep voice is the only
thing heard through out the whole apartment.

“Gatseni” Sakhile replies.

“Marriage is not about games, you made a

promise to this woman next to you that you will
only love her and no one else. You made alot of
promises that you should keep, angifuni
umakoti akhala ngawe ukuthi umphethe kabi
ngoba ngizokhohlwa ukuthi uyingane Yami
umakwenzeka.(I don't want Slindo to cry
because of you and say you are mistreating her
because I will forget your are my child if that
happens)” he says firmly.

“Yebo baba( Yes dad)” Sakhile says.

“You chose you settle down and you chose to

settle down with her, settle down is what I
mean. No more partying and coming back
home late udakiwe!( Drunk ! ) If you want to
drink alcohol drink it at home. Don't I mean
don't ever lay your hand on this child. She is not
your child nor your punching bag, if you do
uzongazi( you will know me)”i am scared for
Sakhile through his father's tone.

“I hear you” he says.

“Ndodakazi” he smiles looking at my direction.

“Don't be scared to inform me if Sakhile goes

astray ok ? ” I nodded.

“Yes ” he stands up and I do so as well.

“I have to go. I will see you” he says

“When am I going back to work?”Already
Sakhile is thinking about the taxi rank before
he even started his recovering journey.

“When I am certain you are ok and I have

sorted Gobela” This Gobela person will surely
feel Bab'Ndlovu's wrath by the change of his
face.

Sakhile is defeated and he just says“Ok Gatseni,

Kuyezwakala(I hear you)” his father nods. I
walk him out and soon he is gone.

I close the door and I go and take the dishes and

wash them. I clean the kitchen and after that I
feel a bit tired.

“Should I prepare a warm bath for you?” I ask

him.

“No, I am fine.” he puts the remote aside.

“Come sit next to me” I go and join in next to

him and he rested my head on his shoulder.

“You know I love you Slindo” he says.

“Yes , I love you too” I say.

“I am sorry about my past mistakes. That won't

happen again” he says.

I don't know if I should tell him or not.

“Sakhile” I say

“Mmh”

“What would you do if I cheated?” he is silent

and I looked up to him.

“if I cheated on you” I am good about the last

one. He has no expression but he swallows.

“Have you cheated on me Slindokuhle?” he says

“No, no baby I have never. You are the only

man I have ever been with”

“So why are you talking about cheating on me

!?”he is not pleased.

“I am sorry” I look down.

“Don't ever think of doing that , Aren't I

enough?”he says softer.

“You are sthandwa Sam. I am sorry for saying

that” I lay back on his shoulder.
“You won't cheat on me right?” he asks

“Yes , I won't ever do that”

He kisses my forehead.
__________
It's ringing ! The phone that is and it's
disturbing my sleep. I look beside me and my
husband is dead tired and is asleep , Surely
doesn't hear the phone ringing. I look for it and
it's mine when I thought it's his. Who could be
calling me at this late hour? Don't they know
that a girl has to have some beauty sleep ! I huff
and I look at the number and it's a number I
don't know so I won't answer. It stops and to my
relief. A message comes through from the same
number and I open it.

“He doesn't deserve you, I deserve you” who

could this be ?

I try the number but it doesn't go through,

much to my frustration. Let me ignore it and
just sleep. I put my phone aside and I lay in bed
and Sakhile's hand wraps around me.

“Who was that?” he says in a sleepy time.

“i don't know. The number is not on my

phone.” I say.

“Let's rest” yes let's.

“Ok” I say and start to enjoy the arm around

me. I close my eyes and I sleep.

I woke up in the morning and today I am

determined in spring cleaning and doing some
laundry as well. I deleted the message from last
night and that gave me a bit of relief in a way. I
wouldn't want Sakhile acussing me of
something I am not doing, it's too early in our
marriage for that. He has went out a bit to
Scotsville mall. I asked him to get some
ingredients for what I am about to cook today.
His cousins are coming and I am not really
ready for Nazo's psycho. I don't want any
fighting over a man I am not dating, haven't
dated either but just kissed. I just walked back
inside with the washing basket when I hear my
phone ringing. I go and take it and the call
stops. 2 missed calls , same number from the
night before. Who could it be ? It rings and I
answer immediately just to give this person a
piece of my mind.

“Who are you and what do you want?” I say

and there is silence. No one is speaking just
heavy breathing from the other side.
“Hello! Angizwakali yini?( Can't you hear me?)”
I say much to my annoyance. A hand is on my
hip indicating how I am feeling at this moment.

“Slindo” my emotions subside a bit.

“Who is..” I'm interrupted.

“Its Nazo”Oh no.

“What do you want ? How did you get my

numbers? I'm your cousin's wife , That kiss
should've never happened in the first place
Nazo!” my voice is firm but Low. Sakhile can
walk in anytime from now. He chuckled instead
and I don't see anything rather funny with what
I said.

“I know you are Sakhile's wife Slindo. You are

actually reminding yourself that, actually I can't
stop thinking about you” My blood rushed. I
exicuted that.

“Where did you get my numbers?”

“I am a private investigator ” I forgot

“But that's invasion of privacy” I say

“I know. I am sorry , forgive me MaNgcolosi” I

calm down.

“Its ok Nazo”

“You look beautiful today. I can't wait to see

you” he says in a rather cheer mood.

“How do you know how I look ?” I say

“You are always beautiful Slindo” his deep

voice is husky now and much deeper.

”This is wrong Nazo, in so many levels. I am

your in law simple”

“I know ” he says

The door handle is being turned.

“I have to go ” I say

“Bye Slindo”

He hangs up and I put my phone away and

Sakhile walks inside.

“I searched for the Garlic paste until I found it.

It delayed me though” he says walking in with
the plastics.
“Thank you Sthandwa sam” I walked up to him
and gave him a light hug and a perk.

“Only because I know you will whip something

good” I smiled and took the plastics and started
taking things out.

“Oh I almost forgot. I talked to Zethule about

your matric upgrade” he says and I turn to him.

“And ?”

“You will start soon ” I smiled

“Thank you Gatseni”

“Anytime baby”

“When are your cousin's coming?”

“Today at 12h00” I nod. I am not ready to see

Nazo.

“With their partners?”

“Sikelela and Afika said they are bringing them”

I nodded. Good I won't have to deal with that
psycho path
I start with preparing the meal and desert for
the day while Sakhile went to drink some
water. I am watching him, he is not supposed to
have alcohol for a month. His health is in my
hands at the moment so I have to take extra
good care of him.

“Its Owami's birthday next moth” I start with

the chopping. He is silent and i stop and look at
him.

“What are you thinking?” he asks.

“I would like to go down to Msinga and visit her

grave on that day, she is still my daughter” he
comes and stands behind me.

“Our daughter. We should do an unveiling for

her in two months or so” he says.

“Oh , I don't see a problem” he kisses my neck

sending shivers down my spine. This man

“I love you Slindo”

“I love you too Sakhile” I don't hesitate in saying

that. He takes left hand and intertwin it with his
and i look at my ring before smiling. I am his
wife, it just feels so surreal at this moment.
_________
His cousins arrive and I have bathed and we
have changed into more comfortable and
suitable clothes for the day. Presents are being
brought in and hugs here and there. The female
cousins flash their smiles and you can clearly
see that it's the fake smile that they are trying to
portray as a genuine one. They settle and us
ladies get the beverages and they are watching
soccer while having a chat here and there. This
is something I have to get used to. My husband
is a socialist , umuntu wabantu but I don't mind
when it's here just not all the time. I am happy
and relieved Nazo hasn't came. Apparently he
had a last emergency to handle in Durban so he
had to stay.

“So when are you guys having

kids?”Ntozakhona asks as he takes a sip off his
beverage.

“We will see” I say that. I don't think we are

both emotionally ready to have a child at this
moment. I don't know about Sakhile but I know
i am not emotionally ready.

“We should start dishing up” Afika's girlfriend

says and we can't agree more. I lead them to
the kitchen and we take the plates out.

“So Slindo what do you do?” one of the cousins

asks.
“I am going to study ”i say

“Mmmhhh” that holds more words than it let

on.

“The desert is in the fridge” I say and they take

it out of the fridge. We do all of this in silence
and I am glad that is happening. We finish
dishing up and we take it to them and they
thank us and we all sit down and indulge in the
food. Compliments thrown here and there and
also a flowing conversation as well.
_____
“Sakhile” I walk in the bedroom from the
bathroom and he throws his jeans into the
basket before sitting on the bed and groans as
some pain inflicted on his abdomen.

“Are you ok?” I ask him

“Yes baby , I am fine. You were saying?”

“We were talking about cheating earlier...”

“Where is this really going?” he looks at me.

“I sat next to him”

“If there is a problem we should communicate

and try working around it or finding a solution
together. We are married Sakhile asijoli that
means to make everything work we should
communicate and not include a 3rd person in
our relationship but only God” he is silent.

“I hear you Slindo” he says.

“Uyisoka phela wena ngiyakwazi(I know you)”

he perks my lips.

“I promise to make this work baby ” he kisses

me and I return it.

“Yini leh elapho ngaphansi?( What is under

there?)”He lays me on the bed and gets ontop of
me.

“Uzozilimaza Sakhile ( you are gonna hurt

yourself Sakhile)” I put my hands on his
shoulders.

“I am ok baby. It doesn't hurt” he kisses my

neck and untie my silk gown and he runs his
fingers to my thighs while kissing my lips.

“I love you Slindo” he says.

“I love you too Sakhile” he runs his fingers

under my pjyama top and squeezes my boobs
softly pressing his lips on mine as I enjoy his
touch and his fingers exploring my body.

The only man who has ever touched me and

will be the only man that will. My legs wrap
around his torso gently not to hurt him and he
is handling himself with care as well. The
clothes vanish quickly and he looks at me
before he penetrates me and I bite my bottom
lip as my nails dug on his back.

CHAPTER TWELVE

“Do you need anything mam?” the waiter says.

“No, thank you. I am fine” I smile while he

walks off. I am having a stake and decided to
try some cocktail today and it tastes nice.

I am at Spur in liberty mall enjoying a meal

alone. My husband and his father had to go to
some business trip regarding Taxi's. Baba wants
to expand. That man always has money. It's
been a great 4 months of my marriage. No
shady underwear , no calls or ladies calling my
husband babe and kissing him. It's very
peaceful as well. We are also in search of
moving to a house. He wants one with a great
back yard to host our guests when they come. I
want one with a great kitchen and also 3
bedroom preference is good. We have seen one
we like but we will have to see when we make
the final decision together. I go through my
Facebook while at that and I take a picture of
the meal Infront of me and then posted it and
took a picture of myself as well. I look good ,
different . A good one to be exactly. I carry on
enjoying my meal . My phone vibrates and its
notifications flying in. Sakhile liked and
commented on my picture.

“Waze wamuhle Mkami( you are so beautiful

my wife)” I blush and I like his comment. I will
appreciate him with that when he comes back
tomorrow.

Nosi comments as well and I do so back at her

thanking her as others start to come in. I see
Sakhile tagged me somewhere and it's my
picture and his on our wedding day. Gosh I
looked so beautiful with him beside me. I will
never forget that day, it like i got married to
him yesterday. It's was most memorable day
when you get married to someone you truely
love. My phone rings and I take a sip off my
cocktail. Already my head is feeling woozy. I
will get a meter taxi to take me back home.
Already the washing is ironed so I will just get
home and rest a bit and maybe try and finish
that book I got last year ! Wow I did say that I
am not a person to read but I have been busy
lately really.

It's my husband. I smile and answer the call

immediately with a big smile plastered on my
face .

“MaNgcolosi” it's the first time Sakhile has

called me by my clan name. It's usually his
father and only Nazo who has called me that
but it melted me anyway.

“Gatseni, How are you? Are you fed?” he

chuckles.

“Dad is saying I am gaining weight. You are

feeding me too much Sthandwa Sam( my love)”
he says while laughing.

“You are married, it's supposed to show that I

am taking care of you and not starving you” I
say.

“You look beautiful. I hope those men don't

snatch you while i am away” he says

“No they won't”

“I have to go baby. I will call you in an hour ”
he says.

“Sure love” he hangs up and I finish my drink.

I am done with eating. I need to go home now.

I just came for one purpose only and I am bored
alone waiting for me to start schooling the
following year properly. I call on the waiter to
take my food and put it as a take away because
I am not finishing it right now. He nods and I
take out my purse and Sakhile's card. I am
pretty sure notifications have been coming in.
From the Cinema to shopping stores and also
Purple Dragon. Mmmh he might like when he
comes back to see his wife in transformed form.
I get my food and I pay and tip the waiter. Nosi
taught me to do that and he thanks me and I
smile. I stand up and already I am half way
through the food court. I make it outside and
go search for a meter taxi and I find it. It will
take me home and I am more than happy. I hop
in with my things and soon it drives off on the
highway going to Scotsville.

I busy myself on my phone and my phone rings.

It's an unrecognized number. I thought I am
done with such numbers but I answer anyway.

“Hello” I hear some sniffing.

“Hi” I repeat again.

“He...he left me ” I didnt know who it is.

“What does he want from you. You are married

for goodness sake !” the crazy voice gave it
away. It's Nazo's girlfriend. I just hung up on
her. This is escalating and it's bad. My heart is
beating very fast and I am sweating.

Nazo is causing unecessary trouble for me. He

should discard those feelings that he has for me.
It's wrong !

“Are we almost there?” I ask the driver. I am

annoyed and angry at this point. I want to tell
Sakhile to handle his cousin but that will be me
starting trouble for us. Let me sort it out
myself.

I take out my phone and I scroll searching for

his number until I found it. I clicked on it and it
went to voicemail “Answer your phone
Snazozonke!” I throw my phone in my bag.The
driver looks at me like I have lost some screws
but I really don't care , I am frustrated at this
moment . I close my eyes so I could just calm
down and keep my emotions in check.
_____
I arrive at the flat and I go and take a quick
relaxing bath. I get in the warm water and
sooth myself. I miss that cocktail. At the
moment I really need it to calm me down. I
close my eyes and just imagine Owami, my
heart aches instantly at the thought of my
daughter. It has been a year. She would've been
4 years this year. I miss my blessing , why did
God take her away from me like that . He
should've taken me instead in her place. The
tears are coming out and I get out of the
bathtub. I wipe my body and I go to the
bedroom . I close the door and lotion myself
before slipping into one of the night wear's I
have bought today from the mall. It's black and
Lacy as well. I put a red silk gown over it and I
go to the kitchen .

I warm up my food and I search for anything

sweet that I can drink in the fridge and I get
Robertson's wine and I take it out. It's
surprising how Sakhile has always bought wine
for me but I never drank it. His cousins
girlfriends end up taking it when they leave this
place and I don't mind. I take a glass and I pour
it inside and start to taste. It burns me first a bit
but I get used to it. I take my food and I go and
settle. Ribs and wine seems good with some tv ,
I should grab that book that I wanted to finish.
Yes I should! But I don't remember which
chapter I was last on. I will just have to start all
over again. The food tastes good. My phone
hasn't rung and Sakhile said he will call me
after an hour and it's now 17h36 which means
an hour has passed. Maybe he is still busy with
his father . I finish eating and i go and wash my
dishes and I take the wine with me. I am
feeling woozy than before and I am sure I am a
bit tipsy. I take the book and I start reading it
from the first page and it still captures me like
before. I am enjoying this and the silence
around me with the wine. I am downing it like
water. Maybe I should stop .

Time passes and still nothing from my husband.

I am afraid of what might be happening to him.
I take my phone and call him and it goes to
voicemail. I am now worried. Oh I hope they
are not in any danger. I try him once more but
nothing.

“Oh God Protect Sakhile” That's all I can do at

the moment. I wish I could call his father but I
don't have his number to ask if Sakhile is fine
or not. He has never called me using his phone.
Only Sakhile's so that is out of the question.

I go to the kitchen to drink some water just to

get my mind off things and I try him once again
but nothing. It still doesn't go through.

“Sakhile ”I am worried sick. Atleast an SMS . Let

me Sms him . I do so .

“Baby call me when you see this” I leave it like

that.

A knock on the door disturbs my thoughts. I

move from the sink and tie my gown properly.
I hope it's not anyone here to inform me of any
bad news. No Slindokuhle stop thinking
negatively. Sakhile is fine. He is fine , he will
call you when he sees the Sms , surely calm
down. I breathe in and out as another knock
comes through.

“I'm coming” I go and open the door and I see

his back before he turns. He is on the phone.

“No, ukhona. She is ok( She is here , she is ok)”

He says while looking at me. It might be
Sakhile that he is talking to. He lowers his
phone.

“Your husband wants to talk to you” Thank

God. I grab the phone without saying anything
to him and I walk back inside.

“Sakhile you got me worried ! What's going on

with your phone?” I say all fast. I am shaking. I
am just glad he is fine.
“I forgot my phone in the car. I'm sorry baby. I
asked Nazo to come and check if you are fine” I
look at Nazo and he is standing behind me with
hands in his pocket.

“Why send him?” really , out of all his cousins

why him?Why is he here anyway , shouldn't he
be in Durban?
“Slindo speak up , I didn't hear you”

“No , I am just glad you are ok.” I say

“Ok , I will see you tomorrow baby. I love

you”he says.

“I love you too”

He hangs up and I hand the phone back to Nazo

avoiding any eye contact with him.

“Thank you ”

He is silent as he takes his phone.

“Anytime” he says.

Can he leave already?

“Slindo” he steps closer placing his phone in his

pockets and i put my hand up.

“Nazo please turn and leave”

“I can't”

“Why?” I ask him.

“Why? Slindo why are you with Sakhile?” I look

up to him .

“Because I love him. ” I say

“Is it. Is that it ? Do you know how heart

breaking to see someone you L...” I interrupt
him

“Stop. Leave , my marriage has got nothing to

do with you ”

I give him a firm stare.

“Ok”

“Thank you , leave ” he turns around and I walk

him to the door.

“Please stop giving your girlfriend my number.

Now she blames me for everything you are
doing. I don't want trouble with her Nazo and I
don't want to die as well In her han...”

He holds my waist and pulls me to him before

he kisses my lips. I try resisting by instead my
body responds to his touch , and weakens in his
hold. He breaks the kiss goes to sucking my
neck while undoing my gown. It slips down and
most of my skin is exposed. What was ment to
be for Sakhile's eyes is being seen by him.

“You look beautiful” he says softly by my ear

while his warm breath is hitting my neck
opening flood gates down to my private area.
He picks me up and moves to the couch.

“Nazo” I say softly loosing my breath when he

kisses me again and goes to my nipple as he
takes it in his mouth and sucks softly.

Pleasure kicks in and I am loosing , my body is

betraying me. I can't talk. I am paralyzed by
his touch and the things he is doing to me yet he
hasn't done much. My lacy net is gone and has
made a friend with the coffee table . His top has
also partnered up with the head of the couch
and Nazo is handsome, it's like he was born to
be dark skinned and glow so creamy at the
same time.

“Does Sakhile have condoms?”my body is ready

to receive what shall be received. I will regret it
later but I am here , naked , aroased and it can't
be for nothing.

“Yes , I think so , we hardly use”

He nods and his muscles flex as gets up and

goes to the bedroom side. I am laying there.
Can he come back already and do what he
wants to do so I can be satisfied. He comes back
and already he is ready. He positions me while
holding both of my legs together in the air. He
penetrates me and I bite my bottom lip. I place
my hands all over my body. He is going slowly
as it starts to hurt a bit.

“Are you ok?” he asks after some time when he

is fully inside me. He releases my legs and his
body is between my legs. His face is inches
close.

“You are gifted. It's a bit painful but I am ok” he

chuckled and started moving while looking at
me.
“You deserve alot more Slindo” he says and I
moan holding his arms and my nails dig there.
He is going slow and taking his sweet time.

“Nazo”
“MaNgcolosi”

I close my eyes and gasp. He doesn't need to go

deeper than this. It's very much enough. I am
enjoying , my body is taking in each pleasure.

“I...this is damn wrong , aahh!” I moan as he

starts picking up his pace.

“We both know, It feels damn right. I love you

Slindo more than Sakhile could” he says and I
moans and pinch my boobs. I ignore his last
statement. He holds my waist before he flips
me around and he comes in me from behind.
_______
Guilt , it finally caught up with me , Sakhile is
coming in today and I don't know what to do , I
am a mess . I have been cleaning since Nazo
left. Any scent that he left I wanted it gone. I
stood by the kitchen as I was scrubbing and I
just cried, Oh god . Why did I break my
promise? Sakhile will definitely kill me. I have
to talk to someone. Nosi!

I quickly go and search for my phone and find

it. No wait what if she uses this when her and
Sakhile are at it. People's tongues slip. I sit
down and I cry. I block his number and I take a
look at the money. He left. The condom busted .
It's for an emergency pill. The door unlocked
and opens.
“Baby” I wipe my tears and try to fix myself.
My heart rate is very fast.

“The place looks extra clean” he says and comes

to hug me from behind before he kisses my
neck.

“How are you?” he asks.

“I'm I'm fine.” I turn around faking a smile and

I look at him.

“How was your trip?” I ask him.

“Well it was good. We might get the route to

Empangeni now ” oh wow.

“I am so happy for you” I say.

“Yes , there will be more trips with baba. ” I nod

“I am happy for you baby” I say

“You don't look fine. ” he has a worried look.

The guilt consumes me more , I want to confess
and tell him.

“Sakhile ...”
“Yes sthandwa sam”I look at him. No , I can't
hurt him like that. I can't bring myself to.

“Its just I missed you so I couldn't sleep without

your arms around me ” I quickly say. He holds
me and kisses my lips. The same lips that...

“Tonight I will make love to you and cuddle you

” I smile.

“ I can't wait” I am lying. I am a mess !

_____
Sakhile went to rest a bit before we go out. He
said that he is a bit tired from the trip that he
comes from. I have started with cooking just to
ease my mind abit , the pill! Oh god I have to go
and buy it before I forget . I rush to the
bedroom and I go to my bag and I take some
money and I don't care about the slippers at the
moment. Let me take the bag Incase I need it ,
Clicks is near by so I will walk to it. I walk to
the door.

“Baby” I freeze and turn.

He is up and getting off the bed.

“Going somewhere?” he asks.

“Period pains have started. I need pain killers”
I say.

“Oh we can't go out then. How about I get them

for you ? ”

“No it's fine , rest ”

“We will go together then ” he walked out of the

bedroom and I sat on the bed. I am in alot of
trouble at the moment. I sat there for some
time before I fixed the bed and I walked out of
the bedroom. I could hear the water in the
bathroom running and it stopped. Sakhile's
voice captured my attention. No , what he said
made me stop and step closer to the door.

“Sandiselwe, don't. You want to ruin my

marriage?” He was speaking a bit low but I
could hear him.

“I told you 2 months ago to get rid of that !” he

is firm and shouting but trying his hardest for
me not to hear.

Who is Sandiselwe and what should she get rid

of ?

“Don't test me.” he was silent. I assumed he

hung up . The door handle moved and I rushed
off to the bedroom and I got on the bed. I felt
my chest paining a bit. I couldn't confront him.
He always turns situations and I don't know
where I would start.

“Slie have you seen my towel?” he asks.

“In the bathroom. On the rail behind the door ”

“Oh ok , thank you. Your period pains ? "

“They are still there”

He nods and slightly smiles. I look at him, God

knows I love this man. He knows.

“You need to go for your shot again month end.

3 months is coming to an end ” Shot ?

“The contraceptive ?” he nods.

Oh thank God. I forgot that I am on one , I

smiled. One problem solved them.

“Ok ” he walks out and goes to bath. I stay

rooted where I am till he comes back and gets
dressed. I change my shoes and when we are
done we are leaving.

We get to clicks and he buys pain killers and

pays for them. He buys some take away as well
before we leave the mall and go back home.

“Are you sure baby you can't go ?” my mood is

down.

“Sakhile...”

“Come and change. We will go to Imbali then,

Vukile is having a chillas” Who is that ?

“Your friend ? ” he nods. Chilling? I am not sure

.

“You can go , it's fine ”

“Are you sure?” I nodded.

“Yes , I love you ”

“ I love you too ”

He kisses my forehead and he takes his care

keys before walking out. I kept on looking at
the door hoping for nothing.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“Oh Makoti wami , come here my child ” I Smile

while walking close to Sakhile's grandmother
who gives me a kiss on the forehead.

“How are you ? ” she asks.

“I'm well Gogo , how are you?” I ask her.

“Amadolo kodwa Siyaphila Mntanami( My

knees are failing me but we are ok my child)” I
nod and sit on the couch next to her placing the
present ontop of the table.

It's her birthday today. She is in the city to visit

her son, so they have organised a little lunch for
her. Only Sikelela and Ntozakhona who will be
here with their siblings and fathers for this.
They are the only ones closer at this moment.
Sakhile disappeared on me and I have already
gathered that food is prepared as well by
MaSkhosana so there is nothing I could do to
help.

“Awukhuluphali yazi ngilindele umzukulu

phela manje ( You are not gaining weight, I am
expecting a great grandchild)” I just smile.
“When we are ready” I say.

“Ndodakazi” I stand up as Bab'Ndlovu walks

into the lounge. I run my fingers on my long
dress .

“Baba ”

“How are you ?” he asks

“ I am well Baba and yourself?”

“I am well. ” he comes and helps his mother up

from the leather couch and she stands up.

“Thank you ” she says.

“Come everyone is already gathered by the

table ” she nods and I take the present I have
bought and walk behind them. The events of
yesterday are forgotten just a cheer mood is
appearing.

Everyone start singing as we appear. The cake

in Ntozakhona's hand and it's 2 layered, with an
81 candle on top. She has really grown.

“Happy birthday to you ...” everyone is clapping

hands as she smiles around. Her wrinkled face
hiding her beauty. She blows the candle and
everyone is happy.

“Bless you all my kids” she says holding onto

Sakhile now.

“Thank you Gogo , we love you” Sikelela says

and comes forth to give his grandmother a
smooch on the lips. He is not embarrassed as
grown as he to be kissed by an old woman but
smiles.

“Let me help you sit down ” they help her and

we are all now seated. Sakhile beside me with
his hand on my thigh .

“How is marriage ?” I think we could actually

get paid for that question. How is our marriage
? I don't know but it's great, only if I didn't cheat
on my husband. It was the first and last time.

“Its wonderful with Slindo ” Sakhile says. I

blush away.

“Thats good to hear ” his grandmother said.

“We were talking of doing an unveiling for

Owami” Sakhile raises that .

“I think that's a very good idea Mfana , kumele

enzelwe ithuna umntwana ( she must have an
unveiling)” Sikelela's father says.

“You are...” his father is interrupted by a knock

on the door.

MaSkhosana comes rushing and she opens the

door ,we hear people's voices. No one is eating
yet curious who is at the door. Bab'Ndlovu
stands up from the chair and we are all still
rooted watching the direction MaSkhosana and
Bab'Ndlovu went to open the door.

“Singanisiza( Can we help you?)” Bab'Ndlovu

says, we could hear his deep voice.

Someone speaks to him but we can't make out

what they are saying. MaSkhosana comes back
and goes to the kitchen. Bab'Ndlovu walks back
in and he is followed by people round about his
age. 2 men and women and behind there is a
girl younger than me maybe by 2 years if not.

“Sakhile” Bab'Ndlovu says that and I look at

him and he looks away from my eyes. I
swallow , My heart rate is increasing.

“What is going on ?” Sakhile's grandmother

asks.

What is going on?

_________
The others have left. It's just my father in-law,
the grandmother and my husband. I don't even
know if I should say my husband at this point. I
feel hurt with everything that is happening
around us. The whole time Sakhile is looking
down in respect of his father. He hasn't once
looked up since we have seated at the lounge
and so as the girl across me.

“Ngiyaxolisa sthandwa Sam ( I am sorry my

love )” is what he says. He looks me in the eyes
and I have been holding the tears but the
stream down and I wipe them.

“How far is she?” Baba asks.

“3 months” my heart shatters than it did before

but I try my best to be strong. It's not working
because I can feel it more than before. The pain
that is.

Baba sighs.

“This is difficult. As you can see my son is

married. We understand he has to do right by
your daughter. We will pay the damages and
what we are gonna do about the child when it's
born is entirely on him. ” Baba shoots a stare at
Sakhile before sighing.
“May I be excused?” I say.

I stand up before anyone could say anything.

She is 17 , can you believe it? I am so
disappointed in him. So very much, I reach the
kitchen and I go and drink water. Maybe it will
help but I find myself holding onto the sink and
place my hand on my chest as I silently sob. It
takes me back. This is what he meant when he
said she should have gotten rid of it yesterday.
He ment the baby , it took me back to Owami
and the tears flowed more than before.

“Baby” I wiped my tears quickly and he held me

from behind.

“I am sorry ” he says.

“I am so sorry Slindokuhle” I turn around and

face him.

I didn't have any words of anything to say at the

moment.

“We will talk home, let me go and get my bag ” I

walk past him. I hear him heaving a sigh as I
walk to get my bag. They are gone and Baba is
not in sight.
“I am sorry for his behaviour Makoti” his
grandmother says.

“It's ok, Nisale kahle . Sesiyindlela( Stay well, we

are heading home)”she smiles.

“Come here ” I go and she kisses my forehead. I

take my bag and I walk out of the house.
Sakhile is already inside the car. I get in and no
one is talking to anyone as I put on my seat belt.

“Slie...”

“We will talk at home Sakhile” I say and he

nods while starting the car. What a day !
________
I looked at him sitting on the coffee table
Infront of me. I look at him back , I couldn't
yesterday but he did worse and left a baby in a
teenager !

“Slie, I know I messed up”

“Were we the only ones? ” I ask.

“Slindo” he says softly.

“Was she the only girl you slept with besides me

while we were together?” he is silent.
“Sakhile Khuluma ( talk )”

“Slindo I am sorry ” my chest just feels a sharp

pain. I love him so much that this hurts me
alot.
He gets off the coffee table and comes to hug
me. He gives me a kiss on my forehead.

“A teenager Sakhile? ....I ...I ” I don't even know

what to say.

“I will never do it again baby. Please don't

leave me ” he says.

I nod, while wiping my tears.

“Ok” I say.

“I am sorry” he apologizes. I don't know what

we will do on this child matter.

“I need to sleep, I have a headache ” I say

standing up and getting away from his arms.

“Ok , I am sorry ” I just nod and I walk off to our

bedroom and I throw myself on the bed before I
start sobbing while holding onto the pillow.
________
The next day. Sakhile woke up a bit late today.
He is supposed to be at the taxi rank before
4h30 yet it's 5h45 am. He is sound asleep and i
could sleep. I haven't slept much these past two
days. From the day I slept with Nazo to my
husband now expecting a child from another
woman. God I need a break a bit from my life
and just take a breather. I take my phone from
my bed side and I walk to fhe kitchen and I take
out utensils and start making breakfast for him.
I go through my contacts. It has been long since
I talked to Nosi. I dial her number and it's
answered after a long time.

“Mntase...” she says while in sleep.

“Mntase , How are you?”

“Are you ok ? You don't sound fine ” Nosi says

more awake now.

“No , I am fine. Just feeling a bit sick”i say while

pulling my gown together.

“Sounds like you have been crying from your

voice” she says

“ I am pregnant ” I lie through my teeth.

“What !?Tell me this is some joke. ” she says.

“No it's not”

“4 months in the marriage and already you are
about to pop babies” she is not happy , at all.

“We are married. That matters ” I say.

“Ok ...I am happy for you” she says.

“Thank you. I will see you” my mood is way

down than lifted.

“I will call some time”

“I love you Nosibusiso”

“You know I love you so much Slie”

“Yeah I do ”

“Bye” says and hangs up.

I sigh and make some breakfast at that tip. I get

done with it and I go and wake up Sakhile. I
pull my gown together as he stretches himself
as he wakes up. I turn around and walk to the
kitchen. He follows after me and I gave him his
food.

“Thank you” I nod.

“You are late ” I say as he indulges in his food.

“I know. I was just tired. I will get there now

now. ” he says.

“Should I make some lunch for you ?” I ask.

“I will buy a street wise 2 at Kfc. I don't want

you starting the pots at this time ” he kisses my
cheek and i nod.
He is done in a quick one.

“Thank you baby , I am sorry” his face softens .

“It's ok. ”

He hugs me and I hug him back before he kisses

my forehead.

“I don't deserve your love Slindo” he says that.

“We are married. Death will do us apart ” he

nods.

“I lied to my family and said I am pregnant ”I

say.

“Why ?”
“They will ask where the baby came from and
you have to explain that you cheated ? It's going
to be a mess ”

“Ok , i see. Thank you for sticking with me ”

I have no choice. He is my husband. He goes

and prepares to leave and go the taxi rank. He
is in tracksuits and soon enough he is gone.
Today it's a big chilly as well. I hate now being
indoors all the time and being alone. I am glad
as well that Nazo is not trying to out of his way
to reach me or will he ?
_____
“Oh you look beautiful my child” i smile as I
hug my grandmother. God I have missed her so
very much .

“Thank you gogo , how are you?“ I ask.

“Your husband must be treating you right ” she

doesn't know how I have had a fair share of
what marriage trials are.

“Yes ” I smile and she puts hee and on my

stomach. My heart is beating fast.

“I guess you won't show like MaZondi ”

MaZondi , one of her Church mates and friend
for so longer alongside with Mam'Zikhali .

“Yes , I don't want alot of people knowing ” I

fake a smile.

“Bayathakatha abantu , uqinisile Mntanami.

Abafuni ukubona into enhle (People can
witchcraft on you, you are right my child. They
don't want to see something beautiful )” I nod.

“Let me go and help inside ” she nods and I

walk off

It's Owami's unveiling and we are in Msinga. A

cow has been slaughtered for this event and so
as a goat. My hand has goat skin already and its
wrapped with a cloth so it wouldn't smell as
much. The last time I saw Sakhile he was by the
kraal when I called him to come and eat. I get
to the kitchen and I see him. I have tried my
best to avoid seeing him since I have came here.
He is with his grandmother.

“Slindokuhle Mntanami come here” I go to his

calling grandmother.

“I will see you Gogo , let me find the rest” he

says .

“Slindokuhle” he says.
“Nazo” he looks at me before walking off.

“Let's go to my bedroom ” she says and I nod. I

help her off her chair and we walk to her
bedroom. I say her on her bed and closed the
door.

“Sit down ” I do so.

“A wife does what you are doing my child ” I

nod.

“You are protecting your husband, your

marriage as well. Don't let any one break down
your marriage. Stand tall and keep on being
there for your husband and he will do the same.
I am sorry about the outcomes of his unruly
behaviour but don't let another woman be the
reason your marriage crumbles. You are strong
Slindo and has proven it. I am proud of you
and I know this family will stand together with
you here ” she smiles.

“Thank you Gogo. I am trying” I say.

“Bekezela Mntanami kuzolunga. Ukhumbule

ubeke umdali phambili. Thandaza uzobona
kuzobanjani ( Be patient my child it will all be
ok. Remeber to put God first and pray. You will
see how your marriage will be like)” I nodded.

“I will do so thank you”

She smiled. I stood up.

“I have to go and help out” I say.

“Send one of the kids with water back please” I

nodded.

“I will”

I walk out of her bedroom and go to the

kitchen. The aunts have left and went outside.
Seems like they are sitting by the shaded tree
outside. I can see from the window. I get the
water and take it to gogo before I check on my
steam bread on the pot. I close it , it's coming
together and it will be ready very soon.

“Can I have water?” I turned around and it's

Nazo.

We look at each other before I move and take

the jug on the table and i filled it with water
from the bucket. He put his hands over the
basin and I poured water on his hands. He
washed the animal blood over them. I stop
when his hands look clean .
“Thank you” he says and I nod and moved away
from him.

“Look Slindo” I turned.

“I am sorry ” he says.

“I will leave you alone, it ... It will be hard but I

want to respect you ” he says.

“Thank you ” I say and he nods. He walks out

after that. I breathe out and turn to the pots.
That's one problem that I won't have anymore.

The pots get ready and Sakhile finds me.

“Mam'Ndlovu” he says while kissing my cheek.

“The food is ready” I say.

“So as the Tomb stone. It's being revealed ” I

wipe my hands and follow after him as we go to
the Ndlovu Grave yard at the back of the whole
house.

Everyone is gathered around to see Owami's

Tomb stone. Baba is the one who will reveal it
and he does. It's beautiful and simple. I love it !
Tears stream down my cheeks as Sakhile holds
me and rubs my back. I miss my daughter and
my husband is having a child with another
woman. That pain just inflicts more than it
should.

“Its ok baby” Its my chance to cry everything

out and be at peace right after.

People are eating now and everyone is in a

mood. I am introduced to people I don't know
and they start talking about my Zulu wedding
and also the shooting. It's the old men who are
here for free alcohol and Zulu beer
(Umqombothi) That start talking about the
shooting. I don't want to go back to that
memory. The other Aunty who lives with
Sakhile's grandmother has been gossiping
about me to her friends who are here dressed
in their usual home attire and amaphinifa as
well. She doesn't and wont stop talking about
me. Nazo and I have left each other's spaces
and we don't bother each other through the
whole day and that's better.

“Should I dish up for you?” I ask Sakhile as I

pull him aside. Earlier on he said he is fine so
now I am worried because he hasn't said he is
hungry as yet. I don't want people saying I am
not a good wife and I am not taking care of my
husband.
“You can dish up for me baby” I nod and he
perks my lips. I shy off.

“Sakhile, there are elders” I say.

“They know what a kiss is ”

I shake my head.

“Ok , let me go and dish up for you ” he nods

and I walk off to go and dish up for him. I know
Nosi has taken care of my grandmother at that
department.

I take the food and go and give it to Sakhile.

“Thank you baby” I nod.

“Uganile lah Sakhile ( You married a wife here

Sakhile)” he smiles.

“I know Bab'ncane” they chuckle.

“Makoti ungasithathela lah ( you can take this

for us)” Bab'Ndlovu hands the plate to me as he
is done.

“You can being the cow and steam bread now ”

they say and laugh.
I nod and walk away to give these to the women
who are washing dishes.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The next morning, Sakhile and I woke up early

in the morning as we had to leave and go back
to Pietermaritzburg because there is a
complication that he has to sort out with one of
the taxis, one of the taxis got on an accident
with another car and the car owner is now
suing him for payment and Bab'Ndlovu is
having non of it without the full accurate story.
Sakhile has to sort that out and get used to these
kind of things as he will step in the shoes of
being a taxi owner very soon.

I left him in bed while I went to get some water

for him. There is a bathroom but his
grandmother doesn't like it because she says it's
a water wasting room. Believe me she even
took the keys for the bathroom and hid them so
we have to use the bathing basin to bath in. I
get inside the kitchen and I pour water in the
kettle and I start it while i warm some left over
food from yesterday for my husband. The
kettle is done in no time and I prepare the
water and take it to the room we are using.
Sakhile is deep in sleep , I shake him and he
groans.

“Baby wake up. We have to go ” he opened his

eyes and I walked out. I got to the kitchen and
the aunt was there.

“Mmmh, ayikho indaba yakho uzihlalele nje.

Uthi sodlalni mawingasiphekeli ?(What are we
going to eat if you don't cook for us?)” really?

I take out the big pot and I pour water inside

and left it on the gas stove and I walked out
with Sakhile's food. Now I will be delayed with
making breakfast. I can't argue with my in-
laws, that's not right. He is done and already he
is lotioning.

“Sthandwa Sam ” he kisses my lips.

“Here is your food. I have to go ” I say placing

his food down and taking his water.

“Where are you going ? ”he says

“To make breakfast for everyone “ I say

“Haibo you are not doing that. There are left

overs from yesterday. Slindo there are about 50
if not 60 people in the yard. They should make
their own food. Akekho ozoyenza umfazi wami
isigqila ( no one is going to turn my wife into
their slave )” he doesn't understand.

“Even if there is a hundred Sakhile I have to. I

am a bride here ” I try to say. He wears his top
and grabs sweats from the open suitcase I was
packing earlier and wears them.

“Come ” oh god. He pulls me as we walk out and

go to the kitchen it's now followed with the
cousins and more aunt's in gowns. It's pretty
early if I may say.

“Makoti sizwile ukuthi uyapheka( we heard you

are cooking)”i nodded.

“We are leaving. Bonisiwe will take over”

Sakhile says.

“Haibo angiganile layikhaya ( I am not married

into this family)”She says placing her hands on
her hips. Sakhile clicks his tongue and we
walked out.

“That was unecessary” I say.

“Grab the bags. We are going” I won't argue

with him . We get to the room and I pack the
rest of our things in while he eats. He leave
some for me and I eat as well and we are done.

He says he is taking the plate back and so I let

him be. I took our bags and went to load them
in the car and got in then waited for him to
come to the car. He came out at final long last
and got inside seemingly not in a good mood.

“Are you ok ?” I ask and he nods. I won't pry

any further.
_________
I am sitting in one of the taxis with Zethule,
Sakhile asked him to keep me company while
he went back and forth and going to the panel
beater to see how much injury the taxi went
into and it wasn't big from what he said.

“Sakhile told me about you upgrading ” I

nodded.

“Yeah. I want to do that” he nods.

“I wonder what has got him now ”

Sakhile opens the taxi and gets in and sits next

to me.

“Everything went well?” I ask him.

“We are appearing in court on Monday ”

“It will be ok , let's go home ” I say

“I will drop you home. I have alot to sort out at

the moment ” I won't argue. I agree with him
and we say good bye to Zethule.

We went out of the taxi rank and got in his car.

Made me realize how long it has been since I
got in a taxi and actually took one.

“Tomorrow I should go for a shot” I say

“Yeah , I almost forgot ”he says.

We don't usually touch up on the subject of his

unborn child at the moment. I know I will have
a heart attack just by speaking about it.

Sakhile dropped me off at the flat and I went on

unpacking our bags. Nosi called to check up on
me and I told her how I am. She asks about my
health and I tell her I am fine before I hang up.
After I am done with unpacking I go and make
some Super. The last time I had alcohol things
happened. I am scared of even taking any
alcohol at this point anymore. I make
something quick and nice. More meat as well
added , in an hour I am done and I now occupy
myself with that book from last year. I should
really make time to just finish it and release
myself from this pressure. I page to the next
page and I look at my ring and it's looking back
at me. I married Sakhile because I love him. I
have never thought that I would ever cheat on
him or after we broke up that we would get
back together. Yes I wanted us back and here
we are married. We should be at our happiest
at this point. I should be expecting yet someone
else is expecting for him. My husband and it
pains me , I can't do anything because I
betrayed him the same way he did. What is
going on ? Are we gonna work ? I want us to
and I will stand by him even though I am hurt.

I leave the book and I stand up and I go and

take my phone and sat on the bed. I need to talk
to someone because harboring all of this is
hurting me. We just brushed it off and sweeped
it under the carpet. The 4 of us, Sakhile's father
and grandmother, Sakhile and I as well just so
we can bury it. I dialed the number and it rang
twice before it was answered.

“Slindo” I just hang up. Slindokuhle you are

making a big mistake.

I stood up and went to the kitchen , I need some

wine. One glass and I will be fine and better. No
maybe I just need to forget a bit about
everything around. I sat down on the couch
and I poured the wine in the glass and I drank
up taking the book. Just a few chapters and I
will be done. The phone rings disturbing me
from my reading and I put my book down and I
take my phone, I looked at it before I answered
swallowing.

“Slindokuhle ” I breathed out.

“Uhm Hi ” there was a bit of silence.

“I am sorry for calling, it's the wine” I said and

he chuckled. The lies , I just needed someone I
can talk to but i realised it's a mistake.

“Last time I remeber you didn't drink ”

“Trying out doesn't affect anyone ” I say

“You will be addicted but I am glad you

unblocked me ” he says.

“mmh ”

“Did you buy the contraceptive ?” he asks.

“No , I am on a 3 months injection”

“So I guess you are not pregnant as my
grandmother had said” Shit ! God Slindokuhle.

“Uhm..I am”

“I am not a fool Slindo , the rest can be but I am

not one ”

“I have to go ”

“You are covering up for him ”he says

“Just stop. You know nothing, don't involve

yourself in things that don't concern you !” I say

“Yehlisa umoya ( calm down )” he says and I

breathe out.

“I am concerned and I care about you so much

but I will step back and let you be with your
marriage. When everything crumbles know I
will catch you”

“So I assume he knows about us” he says.

“No, as much as it's eating me but I couldn't tell

him. It will just make things worse, this is
different.” I say

“How?”
“You are his cousin. I am... I am not related to
the girl” I say.

“Till when ?”

“What ?” I ask

“You accepting his cheating and covering it up.

Seems like you are accepting easily. You are
giving him a platform go carry on Slindokuhle !
”he sounds angry.

“I cheated too so what's the difference?! It's not

going to make me feel any better because I feel
horrible and ...and ...”

He is silent. Tears stream down my cheeks.

“I love him. It's foolish I know but ...”

“The day someone shows you what love really

is , you will realize that this isn't love Slindo. ”

“Bye Nazo” I say

“Just remeber that ” I just hung up. That was a

bad idea of calling him but I got some
comfort.That I needed some how. It counts for
something right ?
_________
It's the Monday Sakhile and his father went on
a court case for. I am just waiting for him to
arrive because he had called me a few minutes
ago that he is on his way. I have prepared a
meal for him already and everything is ok for a
husband to come home. I was scrolling through
my Facebook, Mostly Sakhile's time line and
alot of girls were on it complimenting him here
and there even our wedding photo they kept
the attention on him than the both of us. A few
congratulated. I set up our picture as my
profile picture. I smile at that , I love this man
with all that is in me and I will be the wife
needed to be one.

The door opens and I look up and he walks

inside. I stand up from the couch and out my
phone down.

“How did it go?” I ask him.

“We won the Case”

“The car has alot of damage than the taxi” I say.

He throws the keys on the coffee table.

“Money can fix things like that Slindo” so

money is thrown like that. I feel bad for the
person who was wronged.
“oh ok. Should I dish up?”

“Can we change the routine of asking me if I am

hungry as soon as I come in that door?” he says
and I nod while playing with my fingers and he
pulls me by my waist.

“Can I have you for supper?” I blushed and hit

his chest lightly.

“Sakhile , Nkosi yami ( My God )” He smirks and

holds my chin to look up to him.

“Yindaba ? Ushalaziswa yini ?( What ? What

makes you shy?)”

“Its just that you...” I giggle and he chuckles.

“I love you Slindo ” he says and I put my hands

on his shoulders.

“I love you too baby” he gives me a kiss and the

keys go of my waist .

“Let me go and bath then ” I nodded and he

went off to go and bath.

I smiled and threw myself on the couch while at

that.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN

I jump into his arms and he chuckles while

spinning me around and kisses my cheek as I
giggle and hold his face and give him a good
smooch before he puts me down and I look
around the whole place.

“She seems to love it” the white lady in a black

pencil skirt and a red blouse says with a smile.

“She surely does ” we walk out to the back and I

look around.

“Slindo..”i turn to him and I hug him.

“I love it ” I say and he kisses my forehead.

“I am glad you love the place. ” he says and we

share a little perk.

“There are things that need to be verified. You

are taking a bond or buying cash?”the lady
asks.
“We are buying cash ” Sakhile says while
holding my waist. I love the house already. We
are house viewing and we have finally found a
suitable one to move in before the baby come,
the baby .

I am trying to warm up to the idea as I am going

to Mother this child. Its my child , Whatever is
my husband's it's mine as well. We look around.
It's a simple 3 bedroom house with two baths
and a pool at that back , great entertaining
space that Sakhile has always wanted and I
think a perfect yard for the child to roll around.
I imagine Owami and my mood just goes down.
I can already see her smiling while running
around the yard while calling me. I catch her in
my arms and I kiss her face all over.

“Baby” it's Sakhile , He snaps me out of my little

bubble and I wipe my tears and turn to him.

“Sthandwa sam” I lightly smiled and he placed

his fingers on my cheek.

“Why are you crying?” I smiled.

“Nothing bad. I am just happy” he kisses my

forehead.

“I promise to always keep you happy ok ?” he

says that.

“I trust you ”

“I thank you for that ” He kisses my lips and we

move from the backyard and went to meet the
lady. They talk with Sakhile and soon we are
on our way leaving.
_______
Marriage, is not easy but you work through it.
It's what the elders told me when I was about to
get married. I will try my very best to meet
Sakhile half way. I am happy that I am starting
school very soon. That is what Sakhile had told
me so I am very happy about that at the
moment. Something concrete that is gonna
happen in my life.

“What else are we short of in the house?” I ask

him and I turn to him while pushing the trolley
in the grocery store.

”I don't know” he says.

“Ok , i guess we are done now ” I push the

trolley.

We walk to the till area and he turns around.

“I think I forgot something” he says.

“What is that ?” I asked.

“To play the lottery. You will find me by the

kiosk” he walks off and I stand by the line. I
look around and take some bubble gum for
Sakhile and I . I know how he loves his bubble
gum.

“Hi ” the lady in front of me says as she turns.

Beautiful with a razor cut on her head and a bit

of make up. Abo Rihanna so and Here I am
looking like Thulisile from next door. I don't
know why but I get intimidated seeing such
ladies . I am scared of change but hey maybe I
should do so and Sakhile would have his eyes
set on me only . Maybe. She snaps her fingers
with a bit of attitude.

“Yes?” she looks at me.

“Are you Slindokuhle?” where does she know

me from?

“Yes ...Uhm you are?”

She stretched her hand.

“A close aquaintance. You look ok in person” I

fold my hands across my chest.

“Oh” I say

“Don't be offended. It's just we spend more time

under the make up pen. ”she is placing her
stuff for them to be scanned and I look at her.

“Mmmh” I don't want to paint my face everyday

and have no eye brows no thank you and I will
wipe those with just a wet wipe trust me. She
picks up apples and puts them on so they can be
scanned.

“Forbidden fruits taste the sweetest don't they

?” I am not her friend.

“We are not friends” I say.

“No need to be rude. Where is your husband ?

You seem to be the power couple of this City. ”
she says.

“What do you want ?” I ask her because she is

irritating me.

“Nothing , I am just admiring.” she smiles and

takes out her wallet and starts to pay and I
watch her. Her transaction is done and she
turns to me.
“Don't forget the name Pamela, call me Pam”
she says and walks off.
I click my tongue. What business do I have
with her. I get the stuff scanned and i paid.
After I was walking out whille still a bit angry
by that lady. Sakhile wasn't by the kiosk
anymore. I went to the parking lot and I found
him in the car.

“Did you win ?I ask him as soon as he gets out

of the car to help me off load.

“No” I just nodded. Sakhile doesn't need a

lottery in his life.

“You don't look good” he says. He is packing the

things inside.

“Some woman ruined my mood ” I said.

“What did she say ?” he asked.

“Nothing much but she was irritating me. Come

I need to be home in my own comfort ” I say
getting the front before he closes the boot.

“Sure sthandwa Sam ” he gets in as well.

“Slindo don't give this up” he says out of the

blue and starts the car. I hold his hand.

“I won't. I love you” he kisses it.

“I love you too ”

He drives us home and in no time we arrive.

We walk up the stairs to his apartment and he
unlocks and we get inside. Nothing is as
amazing as coming to a clean cool house. We
went to the kitchen and he put the plastics
down and went to the fridge while I offloaded
the items. He closed the fridge while holding a
beer.

“What should I cook?” I ask while looking at

him gulping his beverage like nothing.

“How about we go out?” he says.

“Ok”

“I am craving ribs ” he says

“We can go anywhere. It's fine” I say. My phone

rings from my bag and I put the yoghurt in the
fridge .

“Can you take it for me ?” he does from my bag

and hands it over to me. It's Nosi, I answer her.
“Nosi” I carry on with what I am doing.

“Mntase please help ! Du...Dumisani” I could

hear banging sounds and her speaking fast. Oh
my God.

“Where are you?” I am panicking.

“Woodlands, his house. ” she says.

“Sms me the Exact address. I am coming” she

sniffs.

“Ok”

“Nosibusiso! Open up” I could hear him

shouting. I hung up and turned to Sakhile who
is looking at me.

“It requires my services” he says and I nod.

“Nosi needs my help she is in trouble and I

think her boyfriend is doing something to her ”
he takes the car keys off the counter.

“Asambe ( let's go)” the Sms of the address

comes through and we walk out of the flat.
Already he is on his phone when we reach the
bottom.
“Meet us in ...” he signals for my phone and I
give it to him and he goes through the message.
I am in the car already and so as him in a quick
one.

“Woodlands ” he says and looks at me.

“I am coming with her , sure”he says and hangs

up. He starts the car and my heart beat is
racing.

“We will get her” he says and I nod. He drives

off.
___________
We are at the house and we are just outside.
Sakhile, Qiniso and Afika. They are the ones
knocking. The police car is outside and that
means they are inside. I am silently hoping and
praying that we don't find her dead inside.

“Ayikho lento Bafo” Qiniso says and walks to

his car.

He comes back with a screw driver and we step

back and let him do what he is doing. That's the
problem. The main door is locked as well. He
soon opens it and I rush past them.

“Slindokuhle !” they call me.

“Nosi! Nosibusiso I am here! ” I shout but it's
silent. My heart is racing than before. I try the
first room as we split.

“Sakhile zwakala ngapha ( Sakhile come this

side )” the room I found is empty.

“Whats going on?” I rush to them and I get

inside the room they are in.

“Slindokuhle” Sakhile catches me before I hit

the floor and I cry.

“Shh, calm down. Calm down ” I hold onto him.

“No...Nosi , Nosibusiso” I say softly while

muffling tears.

“Check on them ” Sakhile says and Qiniso does

and he turns to me. His face says what I didn't
like.

“I'm sorry”

I shook my head while crying.

“Ngeke kukwazi , Ngeke ( it can't be , it can't)”

“I'm sorry Sthandwa Sam ”
_________
“23 years ”

“She was young” very young. A tear dropped

on the fresh soil and he pulled me to him. I
needed the comfort. I am so confused. Why
were they arguing about ? They were so in love
. I am confused.

“I am confused ...I feel lost ” I say honestly, he

lets go of me and I wipe my tears.

“its ok to feel lost , it's fresh ” I looked at him.

“I will see you ” he walks away and leaves me

alone by the grave yard and I go on my knees
and I cry.

“Nosi why did you leave me ?” I say.

There couldn't be any case. Dumisani shot Nosi

and himself and we found them on the bed.
Nosi bleeding onto Dumisani's chest, some
marks were found on Nosi 's body as well
showing that she was hit. Its my fault. I
should've got there sooner than I did and
maybe she would be alive right now. She is
burried next to her father. It has always been
his wish as my grandmother had said.
“Nosi” I broke in a sob and cried , my hands ran
on the fresh soil.
________
“You are ok?“ Sakhile asks as soon as I walk
back inside the main house.

Oh this husband of mine. He has been trying to

make me feel ok since the discovery of Nosi and
Dumisani 's death. Seeing them on that bed. He
held her in his arms as she laid on his chest,
while the gun was in his hands. Obsession led
them there, Xolani was here a minute ago.
Nosi's soulmate if I should say because the guy
loved Nosibusiso so much but her ways is what
seperated them. He was shattered , still is when
I saw him as much as I am. Nosi didn't have
one boyfriend at a time. She had what she
called are 'Branches' of boyfriends but with
Dumisani she had change and he was the only
man she we with as far as I am concerned or
knew.

“Yes I am ” I sit down and he hovers over me.

“I am here Slindokuhle ” I nodded.

“Thank you baby ” he nodded.

“Have you eaten ?” I ask.

“I have , don't worry about me ” he says.

“I am supposed to ” I say

“Let it be me who has to worry” I am afraid of

facing my grandmother as well. I have been
scared.

“We are going home right?” I am hoping today

we go home

“Tomorrow” he says. I huff and nod. I won't

argue with him. I have no energy.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I light the candles and I take the cake off the

kitchen counter. She walks in the kitchen while
I am still on that. It's Sikelela's girlfriend. We
are starting to get along over time and she is not
really a bad person at all. I also have a new
friend I made at school as well , you will meet
her just soon.

“I see you have everything handled ” she says.

“Yes, can you take the knife in the drawer ” she
nodded and walked to the drawer and took out
the knife.

We walked out of the kitchen into the back yard

and everyone turned to us and I smiled while
walking towards them, I started singing Happy
birthday and everyone joined in. He chuckled
and they took the child from his hands.

“Happy birthday Bab'Ndlovu, Gatsheni,

Boyabenyathi” His family ululated.

“Make a wish Sthandwa Sam ” He smiled while

looking at me and then he blew out the candles
and everyone clapped hands.

“Cake!” We laughed and Sikelela's girlfriend

took the cake from my hands and Sakhile held
my waist before perking my lips.

“There are elders Sakhile ” I shy away.

“We have been married for 3 years Slindo.

They know what a kiss is , and I am kissing my
wife ”

“Still , siyahlonipha( we are being respectful)” I

said.
“Mommy ” he pulled my dress and I crouched
and picked him up.

“Yes baby ” he pointed at the cake .

“Come let's go and cut some for you and daddy”

We walked to join the rest of the family.

Sakhile's Father called me to the side and I

excused myself from the festive ness. Today is
Sakhile's birthday and we are having an
Intimate braai for him. Things have been okay
but rocky here and there but something to hold
on. We are working on our marriage the most.
We have a Son, His son is now my son as well. It
was agreed upon that we take the child and
raise it as our own and the mother's family
agreed with that only if damages would be paid
and they were paid. I fell in love with Samkelo,
Named by his father and he is an angel.

He places his hands in his pockets as we got

inside and he sighed while looking down I am
nervous. I always am scared of being in the
presence of this man Infront of me.

“Are you fine my child ?” he says that softly but

his voice is still deep, just that now it has grown
husky.
“Yes baba I am” I say.

“I told you if Sakhile does something you tell me

”

“Things are ok, we can handle them ” I say and

he nods.

“You are my only daughter in law. I have to

make sure you are ok. You didn't have to open
your heart to mother Samkelo but you did. If
you feel like you were pressured into that don't
be afriad to say so. You were wronged and ....” I
interrupted him.

“I love Samkelo baba. He is my son as much as

he doesn't have my blood but he is mine ” he
smiled.

“I hear you Ndodakazi, Kwande kuwe( More

blessings to you)” he says.

“Thank you” I bow my head.

We get back to everyone and the happiness is

around and so as the laughter. Sikelela is the
only one who is serious about his girl , the rest
are just ...I don't know. We enjoy some time
together with everyone else.
________
I put him down and ran my fingers over his
face before I gave him a kiss and pulled the
cover to cover him up and then a blanket as
well. I turn and I go and pick his toys up and the
glass that was filled with half of warm milk.
That gets him sleeping after having so much
sugar in a day. I turn off the lights before I
walk out to the kitchen. I throw the plastic glass
into the sink and I run the water to wash the
little dishes that are in the sink.

“Slindo” I ignore him and he comes by.

“Stand there Sakhile” I say.

“Baby ” he says and I hold onto the sink as I feel

dizzy just by hearing his words. I breathed in
and out.

“What is the problem? ” I ask him.

“You have been busy with School ” my heart

plunged and I turned around and looked at
him.

“Can we talk Slindo?”

“You...you” I bursted into tears and he came

and held me in his arms. It's hard at times.
Sheilding what is happening in one's marriage
from the eyes of the kids and his family.

He rubs my back as I cry on his chest. I am

trying to be a good mother , good wife and good
daughter in law. All of it while trying to study
nursing as well.

“Why didn't you tell me Sakhile ?” I remove

myself from his chest.

“I am sorry baby ” it's my fault as well. I

haven't been giving him attention for some time
now.

“I....” I felt sick and I rushed to the bathroom

and I put my head in the toilet as I vomitted. He
came after me and I wiped my lips and tears as
well.

“Are you ok?” he asks, I don't know how to say

this at this moment but I end up saying

“I'm pregnant ”

He is silent. The argument has died down and

it's the moment of his expressions towards this.
I found out two days ago that I am 2 months
pregnant. I am scared , Sakhile is unpredictable
and I don't want to be disappointed by my
husband or make him feel like I am pressing
him in a corner.

“You are what ?”He says.

“Pregnant ” I repeat the word clearly for him to

hear. He just turns and walks out of the
bathroom and I break down into a cry.

I don't know what to do from here ? What is

going on in his mind is the question I have. I
flush the toilet and I clean myself up before I
walk to our bedroom. He is laying on the bed
looking up to the ceiling.

“You want me to abort ” he is silent.

“Sakhile?” he looks at me then went back to his

position.

“No”

“We are keeping the baby ” he says. I am taken

by his response. He scared me for a second
there. He sits up.

“I messed up Slindo. I messed up by sleeping

with her and you don't deserve to be done by
me like this. You got busy when I needed my
wife the most , all the time and ended up
finding comfort in another woman's arms. ” he
says.

It's my fault.

“I'm sorry ” he says.

“You should've told me Sakhile ” I say.

“It was one time. I am sorry ” he says.

“ I need to rest “

“Maybe you should hold school till the kids are

a bit grown ” what ? Is he hearing himself ?

“I won't do that Sakhile !” I say and go to the

wardrobe and take out my night dress.

“I am not saying you won't chase your dreams ,

we need you here Slie ” I kept quiet.

“Please sleep in the guest room ” I say and he

nods. He stands up and he kisses my cheek.

“I love you ” he says.

I love him too ! He knows that. I nod and he

walks out of the bedroom. I change and throw
myself on the bed and tears come out and
before I know it I am sobbing on the pillow, my
heart was aching and I am hurt yet I still love
this man so much.
_______
I didn't wake up earlier as usual to prepare
Sakhile before he goes to the taxi rank. I am not
up for it. His girlfriend should do that for him.
I only woke up when he was gone. I got off the
bed and I went to prepare breakfast for me and
Samkelo. As I was done I packed his lunch and
I went to wake him up. He hates going to school
and I don't really like waking him up. I gave
him a bath and went to get him dressed before
feeding him then he was done. I opened
cartoons for him and he watched some as I
went to bath myself, I got out and I lotioned my
body. My phone rang and its Sakhile . I ignore
it at first he then sent a message.

“Take a cab, I will fetch you from Samkelo's

school ” and school ?

I picked my phone up and I called him. He

answered.

“I have school ” I said.

“Baby ” I just sighed.

“Sakhile ”

“I am by Hayfields. I will come there and fetch

you now then.” he says.

“Take Samkelo to school then ” I say.

“Ok ” I hung up and clicked my tongue and I

went through my Facebook and I inboxes her to
meet up before I threw my phone on the bed. I
wore a gown and went to the lounge.

“Dad is coming to fetch you” I say.

“Ok ” he focuses back onto the tv. I walk to the

kitchen and take out some wine but remember I
can't have any , this is frustrating me.

I closed the fridge and I could hear the taxi

outside. I went to the door and he got out
quickly.
“I am on the road , let's go Kelo” Samkelo gets
off the couch and I take his bag and give it to
Sakhile before I kiss his cheek.

“Behave at school” he nodded. It's creche after

all they just play.

He nods and Sakhile gets him in the front.

“I wish you could buckle him up, maybe I
should take him to school” I say.

“Don't worry. He will be fine I promise ” I

nodded.

“I won't go to school then ” he comes and kisses

my forehead.

“Thank you. Please don't stress and ...” he takes

out his wallet and gives me money.

“Don't stress alot , I know I stress you ” he says

“Alot. Not a little. Give me the whole card, don't

know who you might want to spoil ” he takes
the card out and gives it to me.

“I am sorry baby ” he says.

“Sokhuluma mawubuya. ( We will talk when

you come back)” I say. He nods

“You smell nice” he kisses my neck and then he

turns and rushes to the taxi and gets in.

I get inside and close the door. I go and check

on my phone and it's replied. I should get
ready, I want to start at the Salon before I go
there so town then the mall after. I get dressed
quickly and clean here and there before I take
my car keys. Yes! Sakhile got me a little car
after Nazo taught me how to drive. My
husband was busy that time with getting the
route in Empangeni , he got a Toyota Yaris on
my last birthday to take me from point A to B. I
am grateful for Nazo teaching me. Nothing Is
happening between us but he is a good person.
He always reminds me that he is there
whenever I need him, it's a nice gesture but still
it's wrong to even consider him at all.

I wear a red sumer dress with wedges and i put

on some bangles. I get done and I take my bag
before I walk out of the house. I go to the garage
and I open it and I open the gate as well and it
opens. I get inside the car and start before
driving off. Living in such a quiet
neighbourhood. In sweetwater you hear even
the neighbour's prayer and here it's just dogs
barking, cars here and there. It's peaceful and I
love it . Never thought I would see myself living
in a white neighbourhood before in my life.
Ever !

I get to town and I park my car before I get out

and make my way to the Salon.

“Woza mama woza sokwenza ikhanda ( Come ,

come let me do your hair)” one of the ladies
says and sits me down. I look at myself.
“Ufunani sisi ?( What do you want ?)” she asks

“Yini into enhle? Ezongenza ngibe Muhle futhi

ingifanele ?( What is beautiful ? That will look
beautiful and suite me )” I say.

“Mmmh” she walks around me and looks at me.

“Khona I hair piece enginayo , izokufanela ( I

have a great hair piece that will suit you well)”
she says and goes to where artificial hair is
sold. She comes back and opens the hair and I
see it and feel the texture as well. I like it.

“I love it !” I say.

“It will suit you and it's a bob as well so it will

stop on your shoulders ” she says.

“Perfect ” she nods and goes to take another

pack. She comes back and starts with washing
my hair before she hair dry it and then she
starts plaiting it. My phone pings and I check
my messages, it's just my service provider.

I ask the lady if she could do my nails as well

since I have a bit of time and she agrees that
she will take me to someone who does nails
here in the salon. I could feel some pain but you
suffer for beauty. That's what Nosi would have
said. I know she is looking after Owami
wherever she is and they are together. I miss
them so much though. The lady is done in a
matter of time and I look beautiful as she combs
the hair and then sprays it before. She then
escourted me to do my nails and I asked for
nice short but good nails. They got right into
what I wanted , I am happy with the way they
are doing everything so far.
Soon enough I am done and i am feeling
beautiful. I pay cash and they say I should
come back next time and definitely I will come
back. I get to my car and got inside before I
looked at myself and ran my fingers on the hair.
I then took out some lip gloss. No man I should
take a picture of myself. I did just that and I
looked beautiful. I uploaded the pictures on
Facebook and started the car driving to Liberty
Midlands mall.
________
She is across me as she sips on the beer Infront
of her. I look at her and she smiles while
looking at me.

“Mrs Ndlovu , what an honor to get an invite

from you”

“Oh cut the crap Pamela. How long have you

been sleeping with my husband ?” she looks at
me.
“I don't know what you are talking about ”she
sips her drink.

“I have a knife In my hand, don't test me ” I say

, holding the stake knife.

“What ?” she says.

“Pamela” I say firmly.

“It has been a year” my stomach turns.

“You knew me before that. Tell me the truth ” I

say.

“But ....” she says but I interrupt

“Don't ,tell me ” I say. So Sakhile lied. I can't

believe him!

“Its been a year. We weren't fooling around that

time ” tears were in the verge of coming out. I
grabbed my bag.

“I have heard enough ”

“You don't satisfy him enough. That is why he is

in between my thighs alot ” she says proudly.
“And you are proud of that. Sies nx” I left her
there. She will take care of the bill. I took out
my phone and wiped my tears as I walked out
of the resturant. I make a call and it's
answered.

“Slindokuhle ”

“Gogo, unjani ?( How are you?)” I ask.

“Ngingcono. Selokhu umkhwenyana angisa

kulabo dokotela ababelungu ngingcono. ( I am
better , ever since Sakhile took me to those
white Doctor's I am better. )” she says.

“I am happy you are ok” I wipe my eyes and

nose and I get to the parking lot.

“I miss Samkelo. Sengihleli ngingedwa lah ( I

am always alone here )” she says.

“I will bring him today. He will be happy to visit

”

“Only because he gets to play with the

neighbours” I giggle. That used to be Owami.

“Yes, I will bring him”

“Ok , I have to go. Sobonana ( I will see you)”

I hang up and get inside my car , I am silent for

a moment before I let it out while holding onto
the steering wheel. A year , a whole year he has
been sleeping with another woman. I feel
useless at this point and yet I love him so much.
I don't even see my life without Sakhile because
we have a beautiful family together but here I
am hurt and loving him at the same time. My
phone rings and I wipe my tears and take my
phone out of my bag and I look at it. I clear my
throat before I answer. I remove the hair from
my face.

“Slindo” he says and I am silent collecting my

voice so that I don't break down.

“Uhm hi, How are you? ” I ask.

“I am good. I am sorry I didn't make it

yesterday. I was in Capetown ” he says.

“You explained Nazo. There is no need to again,

It's fine ” I say.

“I had a feeling like maybe you are upset with

me” he says.

“Why would I be ?”
“Oh I am sorry ke ” there is silence.

“How are you Slindo?” he says

“I am good. Good very good ”

“Samkelo?”

“ He is ok , at school”

“Mmmmh ” there was silence . He sighed.

“Lets try again Slindokuhle. Unjani ?( How are

you?)” I feel a lump forming in my throat.

“I..I am fine Nazo” my voice is slowly betraying

me.

“I am at the CBD before I head home. Where are

you?” he asks.

“The mall” I say.

“Ok , I am coming ”

He hangs up.
___________
A knock on the door disturbed me from my
thoughts. He came quicker than I thought. I
open the door and he pulls me out swiftly
before he embraces me in his arms and tears
are fighting their way out. I have a headache as
well and it's throbbing.

“Someonw might see us ” I say removing myself

from his hold and he wipes my face.

“Ok , let's get inside then ” I get in and he goes

around and gets in as well. There is silence
before he breaks it.

“What's wrong ?”

I look at him.

“ I just missed my cousin and daughter ” I say.

He looks at me.

“I am sorry ” he pulls me to him and brushes

my back and I cry all over again when I am
trying not to.

“It's gonna be ok one day Slindo. ” he says

softly as he hushes me.

“It hurts Nazo” I say.

“I know. It hurts me too , to see you like this
hurts me too” he says.

He wipes my tears and I get off his chest.

“I'm pregnant ” he smiles.

“You are happy ? ” I nodded. That makes me

feel better.

“I know you are going to be an extraordinary

mother” he says.

“Thank you ”

“ let's wipe your face. You looked beautiful on

Facebook” I giggled.

“Ok ”i clean myself up and he is looking at me.

“I am done ”

“Beautiful !” he says before he leans towards

me and kisses my lips.

He parts them and holds my cheek softly. I

respond and I place my hand on his chest
kissing him back , he breaks the kiss slowly and
looks at me.
“I am sorry” he says and gets out of the car. I
get out too.

“Nazo!” I rush after him and stop him.

“I need to go Slie”he says.

“I am sorry too. ” I say.

“I know... I shouldn't have done that. I don't

want you thinking I am taking advantage of you
when you are weak and down. I will call you
when I arrive in Durban ” he says and I just
nod.

“ Ok , drive safely ”

“You too. Don't think too much ” I nodded and

he kissed my forehead before walking away. I
watched him walk away before going to my car
as well.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“Ephesians 5:24 , And so wives must submit
completely to their husbands just as the church
submits itself to Christ. "

“1 Corinthians 7:10-11 ,For married people I

have a command which is not my own but the
Lord's: a wife must not leave her husband;but if
she does, she must remain single or else be
reconciled to her husband; and a husband must
not divorce his wife.”

My grandmother has always been a church

woman. She closed her bible and prayed for
me. I felt like giving up and leaving but I am
reminded why I shouldn't. I am married to
Sakhile because I love him. Divorce is not an
option , both families won't agree. They would
say I failed to bring my marriage up and try to
sustain it and fix whatever that is happening in
it. I left Samkelo in sweet water and I kissed
them good bye before going home. I was tired ,
from everything and I just felt drained.

When I got home I went to take a bath before

getting dressed in my pyjamas. I ate some bread
, I am not going to cook for him as well. He must
just forget, it still hurts so very much. I went
down on my knees infornt of the coffee table
and remembered my grandmother's words
from the bible. Tears couldn't stop streaming.
“Lord...” I swallowed, I didn't feel anything that
moment but I had to push something.

“I am confused ” the salty tears on my lips.

“You ... You gave me this marriage because of a

purpose...my grandmother praises you so
much( I swallow) I want to believe that you
wouldn't cause me so much pain for no reason.
You wouldn't make me love this man after
everything at the moment and still want to fix
things. ” I say and I feel a burning sensation
coming on my throat and chest. I let out a sob as
I cried.

I held my gown as I sobbed.

“Ngiphe Amandla baba , angisenawo

ngiyakucela ( Give me strength Father , I don't
have any please)”

The image of them as I found them on this very

same spot flashes in my mind and tears stream
more.

I stand up holding my stomach as I felt

abdominal pain. My phone pinged and I went
to take it and it's Nazo.

“Can I call ?” he sent.

“Sure” I guess he has arrived safely.

He calls and i go to the kitchen and i open some

tap water and take a glass. Pour some before
closing and answering his call while I lean by
the counter .

“Nazo” I say.

“You don't sound ok ”

“I am just having cramps ”

“Calm down Slie. Think of the baby. Breathe in

and out with me ” I try

“Aaaahhh!” I moan in pain.

“Slindokuhle calm down , Fuck why are you in

pain when I am far away. Where is he ? ” the
husband he means.

“He is not back yet ”

“Call him. I will call you now ” I just nodded and

dropped the call. I went through my contacts ,
another pain came through, I could feel the
warm liquid between my legs. I dialed
Sakhile's number.
He answers luckily.

“I am at the gate baby ” he says.

”Mmhh”

I drop the call and I put the glass down and I

crouch a bit while holding my stomach. I could
feel the liquid running through my legs. I
soldier on to the door and I open it. He is
getting out of the car already.

“Slindo” He comes and gets me.

“The baby Sakhile, We nee....need the hospital ”

he nods and picks me up and rushes to the car
and gets me in. He opens the gate and soon
enough he driving off.
_________
I am looking out of the window and he is
looking at me while seated. The Doctor comes in
and he stands up from the chair quickly. I look
at his movement now.

“The baby is ok , both of them are. Her blood

pressure is high but better now. ” the Doctor
says.

I am glad my child is ok, I touch my stomach.

“They will be discharged now?”Sakhile asks.

“In the morning. 9am latest , we just want to

monitor her for one night ”

“Ok” he says and the Doctor walks out.

“I am sorry Slindo”

I am silent. He sighs and places his hands in his

pocket.

“I will see you in the morning ” he says and I

just look at him before looking away and I turn
the other way. He sighs and walks out before
tears stream down my cheeks .

Sleep consumes me soon enough after that.

________
Its morning already and just 3 hours before
Sakhile fetches me. I sat up as soon as he
walked in. He is in tracksuits and looks like he
didn't sleep even a wink, I wonder how he ...

“You look peaceful when you are asleep” he

starts and places the Steers take away next to
me.

“Wha... What are you doing here ? ”i ask.

“You can't punish me for his sins Slindo ” he
takes out the burger.

“Eat. I was worried. I drove during the night

coming here ” I open the food and start eating.

“Thank you” he smiles and I look away.

“You should always think of the baby” I nodded.

“Where did you sleep?” I ask him.

“You see this chair here ? It's not as comfortable

as it looks ” he pointed at the chair while
chuckling and stretched his tall self.

“I'm sorry , you shouldn't have ” I said.

“I wanted to, I am at ease now that you are ok”

“How did you find me ?”i ask.

“I asked Sakhile” I gave him a look and he

stared at me before he chuckled lightly and
placed his hands in the tracksuit pants.

“It wasn't a direct ask. Don't worry , I know how

much you value your marriage ” I kept on
eating. He sat down.
“There is another one if you are not full ”

“Thank you” he nods.

“I am leaving at 9 am. ” meaning he should be

gone before that.

“i will leave earlier than that. Don't worry”

I nodded and carried on eating.

“Nazo” he looks at me.

“Slindokuhle” he replies.

“Do prayers have an effect?” I ask.

“If you believe and have faith yes”

“Have they worked for you ?” I asked.

“I am not prayerful or a church person at home

it's just ancestors but I have been praying for
something everyday ” he leans back on the
chair. His new bed

“Have they been answered ?” I ask.

“In due time. Keep on praying and don't loose
faith ”He says.

“You know Slindokuhle.... Sometimes we pray

and have faith that it will be answered the way
you want it to go. Someone's prayer may be
your saving grace. Someone is praying for you ”
he says

“Then what's the point of praying?”

He sits up right and places his elbows on his

thighs. He looks straight at me.

“Change your prayer. Instead of asking for that

thing ask for direction towards what God or
whoever you are praying to shows it to you. Ask
for the right path for you. You will get it ” he
says.

“Try it ” he says and smiles

“Smile for me ” he says.

“This is inappropriate enough ” he shakes his

head.
____________
Sakhile came to fetch me , he came with some
of my clothes to change in.
“Have you eaten ?” he asks.

“Yes ” I say and wear my slippers. I zip the bag

up and hold onto the bed. I turn to him.

“She told me ” I look at him waiting for any

reaction or response.

“Told you what ?” he asks.

“3 years we have been married Sakhile, 4 years

we have been together. Don't say sorry” I raise
my hand.

“Ok ” he says.

“Do you love me ?” I ask him.

“Yes , I love you Slindo”

“Why did you hurt me then?. In our house

awusafihli Sakhile ( you are not even hiding it
Sakhile)"

I heave a sigh.

“Lets go ” he takes my bag and we walk out.

I get discharged we get in the car and he drives

off. It's silent and no one is talking to anyone at
the moment. He hasn't even asked me where is
Samkelo. I sigh and look out of the window.
We get home and he parks behind the two taxis.
We get out and make our way inside the house
at that. I sit on the couch and put my hand on
my stomach and he is looking at me.

“Just tell me the truth. I want to hear it ” I say. I

am now prepared with what he will say.

“What do you want to know ?” he asks calmly.

“How long has it been going ?” I ask.

“A year and 2 months ” my stomach turns and

counting.

“You are still sleeping with her ?”

“No I stopped. ”

“Do you even use protection ?” I ask him.

“Yes ” I sigh.

“Slindo”

“ I am not done ” I close my eyes and open them

again.
“What do I lack , tell me so I can fix it ”

“Time” he said and I nodded.

“Ok , I see ”

I don't know. I feel numb at the moment.

“I think I should go to Richmond crest and give

you some space ” he says.

“I think so too ”

He nods and comes to kiss my forehead.

“I love you Sthandwa Sam and I am sorry ”

I nod and he walks off to the bedroom , God

what is this ?
__________
Being alone was needed. Being away from
everything and just isolating myself is what I
needed , I have been trying this prayer thing
and I am thinking of starting to go to church as
well. I checked on my Son and he is happy as
ever where he is. Gogo is even thinking of
taking him away from me of which I am a
having a problem about. I miss him boh.
Sakhile calls once a day just to check if I am fine
with the baby but things are still rocky. It's just
has been 4 days away from each other and
sometimes drops Nandos here and leaves
during the day in between his travels. It's
considerate since I am starting to crave bits of
things.

I am relaxing. Decided to get myself a book and

I am reading this one. I am loving it already and
so far I am almost done with it as I have time on
my hands. A knock on the door comes and I
get off the couch and I go and open the door.
It's Bab'Ndlovu. He has hands in his pocket
wearing a sweater topped with a black leather
jacket and a hat as well. It is a chilly day today.

“Baba”

“Ndodakazi ”

I make way for him to walk inside and he goes

to sit down. I close the door and turn to the
lounge.

“Ubaba ngingamtholela okokuphuza?(Can I get

you anything to drink ?)” I ask.

“Cha , angizele lokho( I am not here for that”

“Oh”

“Sit down !” I sit down quickly.

“I heard you are pregnant ” I nod.

“Yes ”

“I am happy to hear that ” he smiles a bif before

his face goes back to being serious and
emotionless

“What is Sakhile doing at my house?” how can I

answer that ?

“Have you asked him ?” I ask.

“If I asked him I wouldn't be here”i nodded.

“I asked you a few days ago Slindokuhle if there

are any troubles and you said no ” he said.

“It’s nothing we can't fix ” I say. Fix ? How ?

Where to from here ?

“If it is something that can be fixed then he

would be in his house. , Awungitsele
kwenzakalani?( tell me what is going on? )"
“Sa...”i keep quiet.

“Slindokuhle , Niyangicasula ninoSakhile ngoba

nibadala ukwenza lento eniyenzayo. Ngimdala
Khuluma !( Slindokuhle , you and Sakhile
irritate me because you are old to be doing
what you are doing , I am old so talk !)” I jump a
bit at the sound of his voice raising. He is angry
, furious is the word for it.

“He cheated ” he closed his eyes and sighed. He

took off his hat and held it in his arms.

“With who ? ” he asks.

“ Her name is Pamela Mazibuko. ”

“Where does she live ?”

”She lives in Imbali unit 3” I say

He nods.

“I will see you Ndodakazi” he stands up and I

do the same.

“Yebo baba ”

“I am sorry Slindokuhle. ” he looks at me in a

softer facial before he walks out. I stand there.
I sat down and carried on with my reading.
After I was done with the book I went to cook
super for tonight. It has been a few days
without a home cooked meal. I am tired of take
away. The last time I talked and saw Nazo was
the day I was released. I called Gogo just to talk
to Samkelo. I miss him so much , though my
grandmother want to stay with him as she stays
alone. I will swing that through Sakhile , we
can't let Samkelo see us falling apart like this at
such a tender age. I finished cooking and I
dished up for myself before I went to watch
some TV at it. A part of me does miss people
around .
I went to sleep when I was feeling sleepy. I
slipped into my pyjamas and went down on my
knees. I pray that my marriage survives
because God couldn't give this to me when he
would want it to crumble again.
_______________
The lights switching on was what woke me up
and I rub my eyes and sat up while pulling the
cover. I looked at him and I knew his father did
that to him. He has an arm support even , How
old is that man again? He carries a gun around
so I just assumed the worse is under there .

“Hey, what happened ?” I ask him.

“Baby I am sorry ” he says. He looks down as

it's silent.

“Gatseni did ” I nodded.

“Are you fine ?” I ask him.

“Just a broken arm. It's fine. ” he says and I

cringed.

“Ncese( sorry)” I say.

“Can we fix us ? Just one last chance Slindo. ”

he says.

“You have hurt me Sakhile. How would you

feel if you found me under another man while
he is making me moan ?” he shivers.

“I would go crazy. I would shoot him and you ” I

clap my hands.

“And I should forgive like that because I love

you. This is the second time ”

“I will work for it ” he says.

“You will ”

“Can I sleep next to you?”

“What about the guest room ?” I ask.

“Its cold ”

“Yet I am the one who always warms your bed

at night and then go and slee...”

“Can we not go there now. I just want to be

with my wife and Son ”

“You haven't asked about Samkelo ”

“ I know he went to Sweetwater. ”

“Gogo wants to take him ”

“It’s ok until we are ok. It will give us time to

work on us ” I just nodded.

“Can I ? ” he takes off his jacket that is over his

shoulders.

I help in taking off his top and he holds my

waist and kisses my lips and i respond. I could
feel his boner as he pulls me closer and closer
to him. His free hand squeezes my butt and I
break the kiss.
“Keep your hands to yourself ” I say and he
nods.

“I love you MaNgcolosi” he perks my forehead. I

get in bed as he undressed the rest of his
clothes. He switches off the lights and he gets in
behind me .
____________
I woke up a bit late in the morning. My phone
already has missed calls from my friend. Oh
how I haven't seen her in a while. Sakhile
wasn't in bed but I could hear shuffling around
the house so he might be still here. I called my
friend while I went to brush my teeth.

“Haibo Ntombi iskole?( and girl, school?)”

“I have a family crises at the moment. How are

you?” I say.

“I am good. I miss having you around ”

“Me too ”

“I am glad you are ok. I will call some time ”

she hangs up. I finish up and walk out of the
bathroom.

“I couldn't make breakfast so cereals ” I met

Sakhile.
“Its fine. Thank you” I say and went to sit down
on the couch. He joined me and I placed my legs
on his lap while he ate. I went through my
Facebook and I stumbled on something.

“Pamela is dead” I said to him and gave him the

phone. It's all over my feed.

“Mmh ” he kept quiet and gave me the phone

back. How I thought he would react. He was
found by the informal settlement near the river.
This is hectic by people who were going to fetch
water.

“Ok ” we carried on eating.

I am not full. I stand up and go and make

something heavier for myself , I am eating for
two now.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I cleaned the house and went onto cooking for

lunch and super, Sakhile and i haven't talked
since the morning and I am ok with the peace. I
finished and I went to the bathroom and took a
bath. I got out and went to get dressed. I wore
jeans with a top and sandals. I put on some
lipstick and did my eyes a bit and i was looking
beautiful. I took my bag and I walked out of the
main bedroom , Sakhile was watching soccer
while having a beer .

“Food is in the kitchen on the stove when you

are hungry. I am out ” I grabbed my phone.

He looked at me.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“Out, you didn't think I was going to stay with

you here dear husband no ”I say.

“You look too beautiful to go out ” he stands up

on his feet.

“Oh thank you, I might enjoy my day more you

know ” I say.

“Bye Gatseni ” I waved my hand and walked

out. He followed after me.

“Slindokuhke ” he says.

“Sakhile go inside. Food is there. ” I got in the

car and closed the door , I put on my shades
and I start the car before I drove out of the
drive way. He watched me with his
functioning hand on his hip. I rolled the
window down.

“Go inside. You are half naked” he is in shorts

only.

“You are not going out without me looking this

beautiful Slindo. Ufuna labafana bakubone
unjena manje ? Ufuna bazishayele lah kuwe ? (
You want these boys to see you now ? You want
them to hit on you ?)”

“Nawe uyazishayela angithi ?( You are also

hitting on them girls isn't it ? )”

I smile.

“I might find a better you ”

He clenched his jaw.

“Slindokuhle ”

“Don't wait up. ”

I drove off. I need a breather from the house,

let me treat my self with some sea food at
Golden hoarse. I need some time to be alone
and just breathe away from him. I felt
confident when he said I looked so beautiful
meaning I am nailing the spot without even
trying.
__________
It's the 3rd time he is calling and I am on my 6th
glass of wine. I am enjoying and don't want to
go back home as yet. My phone pings as I place
it on the table and I look at it. A message from
Asiphe, my school friend. I take my phone and
open it.

“Home cell will be at your house tomorrow

afternoon ” she sent.

Church women coming to my house ? I am

defeated but all I say is

“Its fine ” I sent back. I don't even go to her

church or church at all.

It rings the 4th time and I decided to get him out

of his misery a bit by answering.

“Sakhile, I am ok. Ngizokubona mangibuya ( I

will see you when I come back )”i say

“Slindokuhle ”

“Bye , cook if the food runs out or order”

“I am not at ease ”

“Sleep ,you will be fine Gatseni ”

“I am sorry ”

“Bye Sakhile” I hung up. I put my phone down

and called the waiter to bring more wine for
me. I am staying here for a long time.

The waiter brings more wine and I thank him

before I drink some more and have some of this
fish I have ordered. I can't waste any money on
not eating anything even though I am drinking
like a fish.
___________
It's late and I have just walked in. I have my
bag under my arm and the house keys in my
hands. The lights are off but he is still watching
some tv while drinking a beer. He turns and
looks at me holding onto the wall making sure I
don't fall. I am drunk , not tipsy but drunk. I am
even not sure how I managed to drive back
home safely and not cause an accident.

He lets out a soft chuckle and I throw the keys

on the table before I lock the door behind me
and I walk away from him. I get in the
bedroom and I throw myself on the bed and he
walks in just after with a glass of water. He
gives it to me and I sat up and drink it . He leans
by the wall and looks at me.

“Can I sleep in peace ? ” I say looking at him.

“You never liked alcohol” he says

“I love it now , it's my friend, my comforter ” I

say

“You are pregnant Slindo ! ”

“Hayi wena awungigxege tuuu ungibangela

umsindo ! ( leave me alone , You are making
noise )”

“I am sorry Slindokuhle” he says.

“That's the thing Sakhile , I am tired, really.

Time ? That's why you cheated on me ? I was
here the whole damn time being the best wife I
can be and best mother kwingane Yakho
owayithola ungifebela ( to your outside child
)when I wouldn't have done it at all ! ” tears
streamed down my cheeks.

“Do you love me ? Do you really love seeing me

like this ? Do you ? Why did you marry me if
you do all of this to me Sakhile ngingumuntu
nami. nginemizwa nami ( I am human as well ,
I have feelings as well too )” I say.

He is silent while looking at me. I wiped my

tears.

“I think we should call it quits ” I say.

“No baby please. Anything , I will change and

try and be a better husband but don't leave me
Slie”

“It will give you the freedom to be with

whoever because I can see I am holding you
back. ”

He came and kneeled Infront of me.

“Slindokuhle I love you , I know that I messed

up and brought a child into our marriage. I
know I haven't been faithful but please. One try
baby please I promise I will change. ”

“A leopard never changes it's spots ” I say while

looking at him.

“Please baby ”God knows how much I love this

man that's why I am here crying because he
knows.
“I need to sleep. I am tired ” I say.

“Slind....”

“Ngiyakucela Sakhile (please Sakhile)” I say.

“Ok ” he gets off his knees and kisses my

forehead before walking out.

The door shuts and I turn to the pillow and I

bury my head there before I cry.

“Nkosi uyazi , Uwena owaziyo ukuthi ufunani

ngempilo Yami. Uyazi ngiyithanda kangakanani
leyandoda kodwa ubuhlungu engibuzwayo
angikwazi. Ngibonisele, sindisa umshado wami
uma kuyintando yakho. Uma kungeyona
sikhulule , ngikhulule ( Lord you know , you are
the one who knows what you want to be done
with my life . You know how much I love that
man but the pain I am feeling I can't . Show me
the way , save my marriage if that's your will, if
it's not then let us free. Free me ) Show me the
way because I am lost. I try my best but....”

I wet the pillow I am lying on. I am in between

a rock and hard place , Samkelo is also between
all of this.
_________
Today is the day the Home cell is coming to my
house. Asiphe has informed me before what
they do at these home cells and Sakhile went to
the rank a bit , Zethule fetched him since he
can't drive at the moment due to his injuries.
He is old to be hit by his father like he is a child.
I am feeling a bit better today and I am staying
off alcohol. I have to think of the creature that
is growing inside of me. I am married and
pregnant. I should be happy , be at my happiest
but no. Life has other plans right now. Sakhile
slept at the guest room last night , I locked him
out of our main bedroom. My phone rings and
it's Asiphe. I answer it while pausing the DVD .

“Hello“

“We are on our way, you take a first right ,

right? ” she asks.

“Yes“

“Ok then. We will see you ” the door opens and

they walk inside holding plastics.

“Ok , I will see you then ” she hangs up and I

stand up.

“Zethule. How are you ? ” I ask.

“I am good Mrs Gatseni , how are you?”

“I am good as well ” I take the plastics from
their hands.

“Thank you” I say to Sakhile and walk to the

kitchen. He follows after me.

“The women are on their way.”

“I am going to dad's house ” I looked at him and

unpacked the snacks.

“Ok ”

“The finger food platter is in there ”i take it out.

“You didn't have to. Queen cakes would've

been enough with juice ” I say.

“I though maybe it wouldn't be enough ”

I just nodded and took out everything and he

came around the counter and stood behind me.
I stopped what I am doing and turned to him.

“Zethule is waiting for you ”

“I miss you” he says.

“I am always here ”

“I know. ”

“It’s not the same anymore ” I say. He touches

my cheek with his hand.

“I know Slindo. I won't say sorry because it

doesn't make a difference but do some action ”

“You are an image Sakhile. Samkelo will look up

to you. What if our child is a girl ? Will you
want her to go through what I am going
through ? ”

“No ”

“Then what ? ”

“I will change ”

“You change because you want to ” I say.

“I want to ” he holds my waist and gives me a

hug. I lay my head on his chest, he kisses my
forehead.

“I love you Slindokuhle , I married you because

I love you so much and I am sorry for breaking
your heart so many times. I will change baby I
will ”

“I love you too Sakhile. That's why you take me

for a ride ”

“Ngiyaxolisa Mkami ( I am sorry my wife )”

I looked at him and he perked my lips.

“I will call you ”

I nodded and he moved away from me and

walked out of the kitchen. I carried on
preparing the snacks.
The women came and I welcomed them inside.
Asiphe and I hugged before walking back inside
after everyone was inside. Not alot of women
but some. We all settled in the lounge and they
started singing church songs before going into
prayer . We all sat down and a verse was
shared amoungst us.

________
”Proverbs 23:23]Truth, wisdom, learning, and
good sense — these are worth paying for, but
too valuable for you to sell.”

This home cell was really needed, the women

keep on thanking me for my hospitality.
“A home without God in it doesn't work as it
doesn't have a supporting foundation for it, the
devil can lurk in very easily. ” one of the
woman says and they all agree. As they stand
up.

“Yes” I say.

“Thank you for coming ” I say to them and they

smile and do the same. Asiphe and I share a
quick hug as we walk out.

“Where is that handsome husband of yours ?”

She asks me as we walk out.

“He went to his father's house. I think he will be

back soon ” as if on que a car parks opposite the
drive way. He gets out of the car with
Ntozakhona. He waves and I wave as well to
his cousin.

“I will call you” Asiphe says.

“Thank you bye ” we say our last ones and she

walks off.

“Makoti !” Ntozakhona says.

“Hey , there are left overs ”

“We got some food home ” I frowned.

“Don't worry ”Sakhile says.

“I came to drop your arm less husband ”

Ntozakhona says.

“Thank you ”

“Iyobonana Ndoda ( I will see you man )”

“Sure ”

He rushes off, I turn around and walk back

inside the house and Sakhile stays to take a
smoke. He smokes only when he is stressed or
when he feels like it. It's not a regular thing but
he smokes to relax.

CHAPTEE NINE TEEN

~“Mark 10:9]No human being then must

separate what God has joined together.”~
I walked up to him and we shared a simple hug,
which lasted longer than it should've been. We
broke it and he smiled while looking at me and
looked at my stomach as well ,it's growing bit
by bit and I am starting to show a bit if I am
wearing tight clothes like this dress today.

“You look beautiful, I feel like I haven't seen

you in a long time” he says and pulls the chair
for me to sit down.

“Thank you , yeah it has been long hey ” I say

and he sits opposite me.

“You should've told me you were coming to

Durban. I would've drove to fetch you ” he
says.

“I didn't want to inconvince you on my sudden

trip to see you Nazo” I say . He calls the waiter.

“You wouldn't. How are things ?” I sighed.

“Bad ?” he asks.

“I don't know. I am trying ”

“Does he try too ? ”

“Yes ! He is trying but I am not convinced. We

haven't slept in the same bedroom for months
now ” I say.

“Its all up to you on what you should do. ”

“I wish Nosi was alive. She would've known ” I

say.

“I am not Nosi , I know me and her have the

same thing to say to you but I won't say it
because I want you to discover things on your
own. I don't want to tell you to do this because i
don't want you to leave him without letting him
go first in your heart” he says.

“Thats a bit hard. I love him ” I say.

“I know ”

“Why are you single ? ” I ask and the waiter

comes , he takes our orders and walks off.

“I don't want to be in a relationship with a

woman I don't love ”

“Hawu Snazozonke ,you won't know until you

try ”

“Lets say I can't let go of this woman. I don't

want to let go of her ”
“What if she doesn't let go of where she is ?” I
say.

“I will let her go then to see her happy ” he

smiles and i look at him.

“What ?” he chuckles

“Its been 3 years Nazo” I say.

“4 years , Slindokuhle ” he says.

“And you still love me when I love Sakhile ? ”

“Yes ”

I chuckle.

“I don't know at times where I would be if you

didn't keep me sane. Thank you for everything ”

“Its love ” he says and i nod. My phone rings

and I take it out. It's Sakhile, I answer it.

“Where are you ?”

“Hello to you too , I will be back in 4 hours ”

“Ok ”

“Bye ”

“Bye”

I hung up. Our beverages came along.

“You are spending time here ?”

“I came to see you ” he chuckles.

“i feel like a side Dude” he says and i laugh.

“Can i take a picture of you ? ”he asks.

“Why ? ” I ask.

“You look beautiful. I just want to capture that ”

he says.

“Ok then ” he took out his phone. I smiled as he

snapped the picture. He looked at it and smiled.

“Beautiful”

“Thank you ”

We had a nice innocent lunch with a general

conversation. He pays for the meal and we go
around Durban. I don't even know which part
of Durban he lives in but that is non of my
business. We go around Durban and he takes
me to the beach. We got there and went
towards it without shoes on. I felt the peace of
it. He left me alone as I went further. Silence.
Only the birds , ship and ocean sounds were
heard and calmed me down. I looked at my
ring and it's has weighted me down more these
past few months. I sigh and rub my stomach. I
stood there for sometime too before he came
and stood behind me.

“Its peaceful ” I nodded.

“Very” I say.

I turned and looked at him.

“Thank you for a day well spent ” he smiles.

This man is forever handsome.

“Pleasure , thank you for visiting ”

I smiled. He put his arms around me and

hugged me. I hugged him back and sighed. I
wish Sakhile was absorbed as Nazo , I wish he
saw alot of value in me. Does he ?
___________
He threw himself next to me and i took a deep
breath in and pulled the white linen towards
my breast covering myself. I looked at him as
he rolled out of the bed and took off the rubber
and tied it up before disposing it. He hasn't
called. My heart isn't beating as fast like before
when we first betrayed him but it worried me
so much. We were at the beach sitting in
silence and here we are under white hotel
sheets and him coming back with a warm
towel. He stands there not knowing what to do
or how I am feeling right now but I stretch my
hand to take the towel but he offers and I let
him be. He pulls my body sheild off me and he
wipes me gently not hurting me and kissed my
stomach carefully.

“It suits you” he says and I nod before he sighs.

“We should stop this Slindo. You are leading

me on and I know you are undecided. You love
Sakhile, you should stick to him ”

His words stung a bit.

“I am hungry”

“I will order room service ” I nod and he is

done. I pull the covers and he goes to order
room service. He gets done and throws himself
next to me. I could feel his warm breath on my
skin. He kisses it softly sending shivers down
my spine. It's a draw. We are equal. I can
forgive him now.

“You are worth a lot more Slie ” he says and i

am silent.

“I know ”i say.

“Why can't you leave him ?” he asks. A

question I have never expected. Why can't ? I
am stuck on him. Samkelo is also the reason,
the family as well everything. I can't fail at
making my marriage work.Our mother's
managed to do it why can't we ?

“Samkelo” is my best answer.

“You can co- parent and have him by your side”

“I don't know ” I say.

“I love you ” he says.

Before pulling me to his chest. Oh Nazo , I

should stop this and let him go. He deserves
better than a woman who is stuck on her man
whore.

“Let me go Nazo. ”
“I can't , you need me ”he kisses my forehead. I
close my eyes at that.
_________
He woke me up when I have overslept. I ate
before I went to take a shower washing another
man's scent off my body. I got done and
grabbed my keys. He offered to take me home
as he is not at ease about me driving this long
on my own and pregnant. I assured him that I
will call and he eventually let me go unhappy
about my travelling arrangements.

I checked my phone and I have missed calls and

messages from Sakhile. I sigh before I hopped
in my car and drove off.

Soon enough I was in Pietermaritzburg . I

wouldn't call him. It's the afternoon and not
knowing if he is home or at the rank. I won't
ask him , I will find out myself. I got home and
parked the car inside the garage and got out. I
walked towards the house and I got inside. He
is here and we look at each other. I move from
the door and close it. He stands up from the
couch and my heart is beating much faster.

“Slindo, I have been calling ” he says placing his

hands in his pocket.

“I know. I saw ” I say.

“Where were you ?”

“I need to rest Sakhile. I had a long day ” I

walked to the main bedroom and I put my bag
on the bed. He got in and leaned by the wall
looking at me.

“You look beautiful”

“Thank you ” I say. I take off my dress and I go

towards him and I hug his waist , he kisses my
forehead.

“MaNgcolosi” he says.

“Gatseni ” I say

“I miss us ” he says

“Me too” I say.

“Can we start afresh? Can I have my wife back ?

” So he is not going to pry about where I was ?
Good then.

“The trust is broken Sakhile ” I say.

“I know. We can build it again but I just want to

hold you at night Slindo. I want to kiss you till
you are red ” I giggle and he chuckles. He
touches my stomach.

“You weren't drinking?”

“No ”he nodded.

“Should I cook?“ I ask.

“No , I ate at the rank. ” I nodded.

“Okay , I need to rest. I am tired ” I say.

“I will leave you to it ” He gives me a perk and

smiles while looking at me.

“I can be stupid at times ” alot

“But I love you” I nodded.

He left me to rest. I sent a text to Nazo stating

that I arrived safely and then rested myself. I
have had a long day today.
_________
I woke up early today just to prepare Sakhile
for his departure. I am nervous because in a
few days he has to leave for Empangeni and I
don't know which girl he will pick up there, I
love him. He knows that and I sacrificed alot
just to make it work for us. I know , I am the
last person to talk .Let's forget about yesterday
and focus on today and a way forward shall we
? When he left at wee hours I went back to bed
and rested. I woke up a bit late and went on
cleaning before cooking for lunch. He always
passes by the house during lunch and doesn't
make a mistake to miss it.

He walks inside the house and takes off his cap

and places the keys on the counter. He looks at
me.

“Something wrong ?” I ask and go to take out

the plates.

“Slindo” I look at him.

“Gatseni ”

He sighs.

“Don't be like me ” he says.

“Like what ? ” my heart is beating fast but I try

to calm down.

“A cheat , don't be that. ”

“Oh, I see ” I say. I start dishing up for him.

He comes and stand behind me. My heart is
beating triple times but I breathe in an out. If
one of us has to be caught it shouldn't be me
because he will kill me I know. He has told me
before .

“Where is your gun ? ” I ask him before I turn

around. He looks at me and I am scared. I am
not safe , does he know something?

He places his hands in his tracksuit pockets and

he looked straight into my eyes ,I didn't move
mine as well from him but cautious on his
movements. He sighs and tilts his head. I play
with my fingers and he looks down to them and
I stop. Why is he observing me ?

“Tell me something Slindo....”

“Ubulaphi izolo ?( Where were you yesterday?)”

I am shaking now. Keep calm Slindo.

“Out ” I say

“Laphi ? (Where ?)” he doesn't move his eyes

from me. Think fast Slindo

“Pine town ” It just slipped.

“What were you doing there?” he asks.

“I needed a breather , took myself out. Why ? ” I

tilt my head. He holds my chin and lifts it
before he kisses my lips and bites his bottom
lip.

“Mmmh ”

“What's wrong ?” I ask.

“Nothing. ”

I nodded. He let go of me and I went to dish up

for him and took some beer for him , he settled
and had his food as well. I watched him as he
ate, I should watch my movement with him.

“By the way Slie ” I snapped out of my thoughts

and looked at him.

He took out his gun from under his top and he

placed it on the table. I felt like peeing myself.

”Here it is ” he says.

“You could harm me with it ” he looks at me.

“ I wouldn't ” I nodded.
“I want you ready tonight ” I just nodded.

I won't argue or say anything that will piss him

off. He got done and soon after left. I felt better
, Nazo wouldn't risk it like that especially
knowing the kind of person Sakhile is and Risk
my life like that. This is not for me , I will leave
in a coffin because Sakhile will never forgive
me that I know. God Sakhile what are you
doing to me at the moment ? I could feel my
blood rushing , Maybe I should call Gogo and
check how Samkelo is doing . He wants me
ready tonight ? Are we going somewhere ? I am
scared now. I rush to take my phone and I call
Nazo.

“Slindo ”

“I think he knows ” he is silent.

“How ? ”

“I don't know. He asks me alot of questions and

he...I am scared for my life Nazo” I say shaking.

“Calm down and breathe. I will find out if he

does or not. ”

“I am scared ”
“Don't be. Calm down. I will inform you ok ? ”

“Ok “

I say more calm and he hangs up. I should

start preparing for tonight already then.
_________
I got out of the cold water and wrapped myself
in a towel. I got in our bedroom after walking
out the bathroom and I lotioned and he walked
in the bedroom carrying a Gift bag with
Flowers , Shocker really because Sakhile has
never bought flowers for me.

“Whats that?” I ask and put on a gown.

“For you ” he comes and kisses my cheek.

“Happpy anniversary” Oh my I forgot. I just

smiled.

“Thank you Gatseni ” he gave me the gift bag

and flowers.

“Get ready, I am taking you out ” he says.

“Ok”
He holds my waist and looks at me.

“Pregnancy suits you”

“Thank you”

He walked out of the bedroom and I looked

inside. It's not a bomb so I am safe. I put
everything away and got dressed. I made
myself look beautiful before I walked out when
I was ready. He was waiting for me. He
crushed the can and he went to throw it in the
bin before he rubbed his hands.

“I need a smoke first ”

“Sure “

We walked out of the house. I got in his car as I

waited for him while he smokes. My phone
vibrates and its a message.

“He doesn't know ”

I breathe out. I trust he doesn't at all.

CHAPTER TWENTY

I can't sleep. I am pacing up and down the

living room waiting for him to merge anytime
soon now. I sit down and sigh , He had a late
errand to run. My mind couldn't help wonder
where he is with who ? He hasn't called and I
have left a thousands of texts and Missed calls
on his phone but nothing. He is cheating again ,
that is my conclusion to that. I am fed up
honestly ! He should be here cuddling me and
kissing me and telling me how much he loves
me but no he is out there whoring and saying
it's an errand. Do I want him to touch me ?
Ofcause I want to , he is my husband after all !
I stand up and tie my gown and walk to the
main bedroom. I am furious as well at this
point. Where is my suitcase? Oh there it is
down there . I pull it out of the wardrobe and I
start throwing in some of my clothes and I zip it
up. I take my handbag and car keys and I walk
out of the bedroom with my packed clothes. I
get out of the house and go to my car. I am
inside and ready to leave as well, ukholwa
ngokubona loh ngiyambona ( He believes it
when he sees it , I see him ). I start the car and
drove off. Is late at night but I am praying I
make it just fine home. Sweetwater is not a safe
area like our area. It's something else . I keep
on going, He will sleep alone in that house and
feel my absence with it.

__________
“Slindokuhle , Haibo kwenzenjani ?( what is
going on ?)” my grandmother asks as I wheel
my suitcase inside.

“I missed home ” I say

“Its late. You could've visited tomorrow during

the day and went back to your house” she
emphasises her sentence meaning I am not
supposed to even sleep over.

“Haibo Gogo , I am here. Where is Samkelo?” I

ask. The house is extended as well, Sakhile is
behind that . Still two bedrooms but they are a
bit bigger now than before.

“He is asleep” she closes the door and I turn to

her.

“What is going on ?”She asks. I sit down and

sighed.

“Ngiyasha gogo , angisakwazi ukukhona (

Marriage is difficult. I can't do this anymore )”
she clapped her hands once.

“Angishongo ufuna ukushada lomfana ? (Didn't

I tell you when you wanted to marry this boy
?)Slindokuhle it's not because I like Sakhile , I
don't . I am tolerating him because he is my
grandson in law ” she says.

“I know “

“Come back home , I don't want you to end up

like Nosibusiso. I would rather have you home
not working and happy than to sell your soul
and be in an unhappy marriage ”

I stood up and hugged her before crying. She

rubbed my back.

“Kuzolunga Mntanami. UNkulunkulu uyalenza

icebo, akasishiyile Usakhona. ( Everything will
be ok my child, God makes a way , he has not
forsaken us , he is still there. )” I felt more
emotional.

“Everything is ...”

“Shhh ” she continued rubbing my back.

I needed the comfort from someone who truly

loves me like my grandmother. I would forever
be grateful for her support and love towards
me even when I mess up she still opens her
arms for me to seek comfort and healing from.
“Go and rest. Samkelo is sleeping with me ” I
nodded.

“He had a long day ?”

“He is black from sun burn that one now. He

plays too much ” I laugh.

“Oh my baby ”

“Go and sleep and I will bring some tea for you
to calm down. You have a child to take care of ”
she rubbed my stomach and walked off. I
sighed and I took my things and went to my old
room. Our old room.

I threw the things on my bed and I got on it and

looked at my ring .I can't seem to take it off. He
is cheating , that is what my mind is telling me ,
nothing else. My grandmother brought tea and
I thanked her before she went off to sleep , I
needed this. I need it .
__________
Sakhile , His phone has been off since
yesterday when we came back from the dinner.
I give up , he is gone. Slipped away just a
matter of time before he sends divorce papers.
We are going through the court thing again ?
Arrests ? Maintenance because I know I can't
maintain these two on my own, I am 24 and still
not working as yet .

I get off the bed and I go to the kitchen. Porridge

is served and soon enough Samkelo is awake
and screaming“Mommy ” Throughout the
house. I giggle and smile at his screams. I hold
him in my arms as he tell me about his new
friend called 'Sghubu' I asked him why is he
called that and he said “He is fat like an oros
mommy” I shook my head and told him to
never call anyone fat because it's offensive and
can bring one's self esteem as well. I get to feed
him and also change him from his pyjamas
before he goes out already going to his friends.
I help my grandmother around and I tell her to
sit down , I will handle everything. She does
some washing instead while I clean the house.
In no time I am done , already going to bath as I
have warmed some water. I am done and now
cooking as well , I missed all of this and needed
to get away before I go crazy.

“Slindokuhle !” it's my grandmother

“Gogo !” I wipe my hands and walk to the

lounge where she is seated. I stop my tracks
and look at them both.

“Singanitholela iziphuzo ?( Can I get you some

drinks ?)” my grandmother asks.
“Water”

She looks at me and I turn to get two glasses of

water. I came back with a tray and I placed it
on the coffee table and they thank me. I turn to
walk back to the kitchen before my
grandmother speaks.

“You are here for Slindokuhle I assume ”

“Yes !” He says first

“Nimenzani umntwana wami boh Ndlovu ? (

What are you doing to my child Ndlovu ?)”

He swallows.

“We are sorry” they say.

“Sorry for what ? You think it's nice to see my

grandchild crying. Wena Mfana ( you boy ) I
....”

“Gogo ”

She clicks her tongue.

“Suka ( move )”
She walks away from us. He sighs and there is
a pin drop silence.

“Where is Samkelo?” he asks about him after a

very long time. He doesn't call to check up on
him.

“Playing outside. ” he nods.

“Slie...”

“Lets go outside ” he nods and stands up and I

walk outside and he follows. We got to his car
and he places his hands in his pocket. “You
found another one ” is what I wanted to say but
I kept quiet.

“I didnt cheat on you. I promise I wasn't with

any woman ” he says like he just read my mind.

“I called you” I say.

“I know. I was in a tight spot. I didn't want to

alarm you. I am sorry”

I lightly chuckle, I fold my arms and look at

him. He is handsome, Sakhile has always been
and each time I look at him it's like the first
time I am seeing him. I sometimes feel lucky to
be his wife .

“Mmmh ”

“I promise Slindo”

“Where were you then ?”

He scratched his head and I moved to go back

inside but he pulled me back to him.
“I don't want Nonsense Sakhile. I am angry and
fed up of your shit seriously. I will leave you
without thinking twice. ”

“I am sorry”

I was lying. Leaving him would be hard. I

would think twice, I just don't want him to run
over me anymore.

“Where were you ?”

“Richmond ” he says.

“What were you doing there ?”

“I had an errand as I have said. You can ask

Sikelela who is inside to confirm. Even baba ”
He was with his father ? Ok I guess he is telling
the truth.

“I will confirm with Baba later. I don't know if

your cousin's cover their tracks for you”

“I don't involve them in my business”

“What were you doing that you couldn't reply to

s message ?”

He is silent now.

“I am sorry about that ”

I shook my head and tried getting off his grip

but he holds me locked.

“Slindo please believe me ”

“Sakhile let me go ”

I say.

“Wait , please I am telling the truth ”

I turned to him.

“For once be honest !” I say.

He is frustrating me so much. He takes off his
hoodie with the top .

“Is this honest enough for you ?”

I looked at the bandage over his shoulder. My

anger subsided.

“What happened ? ”

“Its nothing to worry about.

“Sakhile its nothing kanjani unengozi engaka (

How when you have such a wound )” I say.

“I am fine. Taxi fights you know ”

He pulls me to him and kisses my forehead. I

want to cry but I hold myself.

“I am fine Sthandwa Sam. Ungakhathazeki (

don't worry )”

I am worried. I am very much worried, I feel

bad for accusing him when he was telling the
truth but I couldn't help myself when he didn't
answer nor call me back.
“I need you home. I can't live without you” he
says.

“I need to be here ”

“Please. ” I sigh.

“Ok”
He lets go of me and holds my cheeks before he
kisses my lips softly and I respond to the kiss as
well. It's nice and passionate as he moves his
hand to my neck and down to my waist holding
it . We break the kiss and bites his lips.

“I love you Slindokuhle Ndlovu ”

_____________
I left with Sakhile , Samkelo didn't want to leave
and my grandmother wasn't happy but told me
I can come back home anytime I want to and
it's good to hear those words. He got some take
away so I would cook when we get home. We
got home soon enough and made our way in. I
wanted to look at this environment on a bright
side. I went to our main bedroom and he
followed after. He took off his cap and placed it
on the pedistal and also his gun. I shiver at
that.

“A baby shouldn't be exposed to such Sakhile !”

I say.
“Its for protection purposes”

“What if you make a mistake and harm one of

us ?”i say.

“Ok. You will never see it again ”

I huff and get on the bed.

“Should I dish up for you ?” he asks and I shake

my head. I am not as hungry as yet.

“Get in bed”

He does and holds me close to him careful not

to hurt him.

“Sakhile ”i say.

“This is our last shot. If you ruin this ...” I say.

“I won't. ” he says.

“Talk to me when things are bothering you. We

are married”

“I will MaNgcolosi”
I closed my eyes and rested on him .

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Whistles and Greetings as I walked through the

whole rank is what I got. Clan greetings as well
is what I got , I felt like I was famous. Ofcause
they all know who I am and who I am married
to as well. Sakhile is like that. A very known
person, I am sure the whole Kzn region knows
him but I am not here for that. I see him and he
moves from where he is and comes to me. He
smiles and I can't help smile as well. He kisses
my forehead .

“Mangcolosi” he says.

“Gatseni ” I say

“I didn't know the noise was for you ,

Bayangijwayela yazi( they are shitting on me )”

I laugh.

“Calm down ”
“You forgot this ” I say once more.

I hand his lunch to him. Today I woke up in the

other side of the bed. The good side though I
sleep alot but I woke up wanting to spoil my
husband.

“You didn't have to. I was gonna get something

Komama at the back” he says.

“No , you have me for a reason. I don't want

you eating Rank food anymore.” I look around.

“Its not hygienic. ” he laughs.

“Its food , come let's get some ”he pulls my hand

and turns to the other drivers.

“Ngiyabuya manje( I am coming back now )”

“Yayinhle ivroe yakho Gatseni( your wife is

beautiful Gatseni)” I shyed off.

He pulls me and holds me by my waist.

“Sakhile I have to go yazi , I was just passing by

to drop this” I say.

“Where are you going ?” he asks.

“Mr Price home . I want to change the vase
that is at home. It's not blending well inside the
house ” he chuckled.

“I would say spend the day with me but you are

pregnant. I don't want anything happening to
you ”

We are in a good place , it's been months but I

love here we are standing. He is trying his best
to show me that he loves me and is trying to
rectify his mistakes. We are in a very good
space I should add. A better one but for how
long really.

“Taxi and me are a no ”

“But you are married to a taxi owner ” he says.

“I don't know what I was thinking of putting my

life in danger ” I say.

“I make sure you are protected Sthandwa Sam “

True.

“I thank you for that ”

I stop and kiss his lips and he smiles through

the kiss.
“I love you ” I say breaking it.

“I love you too”

I point his eyes and mine.

“Keep them on this lady. ” he nods.

“I keep them on you baby.”

“mmmh” we go to the ladies selling food and

they greet him. They ask him if it's the wife as
they see my ring and belly and he says so. I
could see from their looks that they know some
of Sakhile's shinanigans but I brush it off. My
mood just goes down.

“Give this to Zethule or Vukile. I am going

home ” I say giving him the lunchbox.

“Baby speak to me ”

He pulls me aside.

“No , it's nothing. ” I kiss his cheek.

“Slindo I....”
I hold onto his arm frozen. Oh my God , It can't
be .

“Baby are you ok ?“ he looks at me, more

concerned from my look.

“The baby is coming Gatseni” one of the woman

say before I look down to my broken water. It's
too early. I have a few weeks before I give birth.

“Calm down ” he says. I am calm.

“Can you walk ?“ he asks. He is trying .

“I am scared the baby might drop from between

my thighs if I move ” he chuckled. I hit his
chest.

“I am feeling the pain a bit ”

“Uhm. I don't know what to do ”

“The hospital is on the other side. Just take me

there ” he nods. I am calm , I can't panic but I
don't want to have my baby at the taxi rank. He
opts to pick me up because I just froze in one
place. He takes me to my car and soon he
drives off to the hospital.
________
“Ndlovu, Gatseni , Boyabenyathi !.....” I want to
sleep but that's disrespectful at the moment.

I can't , but I feel very tired and I want to rest

from all the pains. Bab'Ndlovu is holding onto
his grandson. Sakhile is beside me brushing my
hair making me drowsy than I already am. My
eyes are heavy . Very heavy and I just want to
sleep !

“Sthandwa Sam , are you ok ?” he asks me and I

nod.

“Rest Makoti” Bab'Ndlovu says. Delivering this

one wasn't as easy as I delivered Owami a few
years ago.

“I am fine baba ” I lie through my teeth.

“He looks just like Mkhulu August ”Sakhile says.

“He does ” He doesn't even look a bit like me.

“After this we are having a daughter ”Sakhile

adds. Oh , he likes babies now.

“You should give Makoti a break ” Thank you

Baba, labour isn't Choice assorted and Oros.

“Sleep baby. You look tired ” I decided to listen.

My body gave in and I rested.
____________
I had my food after. Sakhile and the baby with
Bab'Ndlovu weren't here anymore. The nurse
brought some liquid food because I didn't have
the appetite to down anything solid right now.
There were two of us before and I now I am
alone in this room, I carry on eating and I then
slowly make my way to the bathroom to bath. I
am glad I gave Natural birth. I wouldn't be able
to handle stitches. I get done and I get out and
he is sitting on the chair and Plastics filled the
room.

“How are you ? ” he asks.

“Tired but ok ”

“Sakhile is coming back with the baby ” he says

and I nod.

“He is excited. ”

“I could see it. That's why he shopped this

much ”

“You are quick to be this side ”

I say.

“He called us right after you passed out ”i nod

and Sakhile walks in with the nurse behind him
pushing the little cot. She leaves after.

“Sakhile you will squeeze the life out of him ” I

say

“Hold him ” he says and I hold him in my arms.

He looks so cute. All babies do look cute.

“I named him Zabelo”

I like it. I kissed his tiny hands and Sakhile

stood next to me. I looked up and our eyes met
and he smiled, while looking at us before I
looked away. I told him he should let me Go,.
Things are good between Sakhile and I and I
don't think they will change not unless he
changes them.
_________
I got discharged and let me say this is the first
time I have seen Sakhile like this. It's like Zabelo
is his first child. I don't want to point it out but
he will favour Zabelo more than Samkelo and
that doesn't sit well with me. He hasn't called
him or check on him while I do. My
grandmother told me he had a flue and she took
him to the clinic and he is ok right now. I asked
her if he could visit as I have given birth and
she said after 3 months. Sakhile is not even
supoosed to be with me but I should be home
right now. I told Sakhile but he wasn't hearing
any of it at all.

It's cold day today, Sakhile had to go

somewhere quickly but he said he is coming
back quickly. I am warming my son's bottle at
the moment. Asiphe calls me at that moment
and I take my phone to answer it.

“Mngani ( friend )” I say.

“I saw on Sakhile's page that you have given

birth but you don't tell me , it's ok ” she says.

“it slipped my mind. I am tired” I say.

“I am sure Sakhile hired a nanny for you. He

has money for that after all ” she says.

“i hate those ” really. I don't like them even

maids. I can't trust my husband around those

“I have a cousin who can fill in if you want. ”

she says.

“Is she 60?” she laughs.

“No , she is 21.” Hell no ! I would rather not rest.

“I will talk to Sakhile about that ” I am not
talking to him about this. I won't

“Ok , I will come soon and see the baby ”she

says.

“Sure. Bye ”

She hangs up and I put my phone down. The

baby cries and I groan before I take the bottle
and walk to our bedroom. I go to the cot and I
place the bottle down and take him from there.
I hold him in my arms and take the bottle
before putting it in his mouth and he sucks.

“I heard his cry from outside. Umenzani ?(

What are you doing to him ?)” he places his car
keys on the bed.

“Uyatefa ( he is a cry baby )” he chuckles and

comes closer to me.

“I love him ” he says with a broad smile. He

seems rather proud.

“And Samkelo ?” I ask as he takes him from my

hands and feed him. He is silent a bit.

“Sakhile ” I say.
“Mmm”

“Sit down “

He looks at me and I give him a look before he

does and smiles while looking at Zabelo.

“Sakhile look at me. ”

He does.

“I will say this once. Don't love them any

different. I can already see Zabelo is your
favourite and that doesn't sit well with me.
Samkelo is your son as well and you should love
him equally like Zabelo. I don't care if you
didn't want him before but please. I don't want
them growing up resenting each other because
of you. “

He looks at Zabelo.

“So I was just rambling ?” I place my hands on

my hips.

“I hear you Slindo ”

He says.

“Please”
He keeps quiet and I sigh.

“Let me go and cook. “

“I bought Nandos”

“Thank you Love ” I kiss his forehead and he

smiles.

“One on the lips would be appreciated.

“There is a baby ”i say.

“He can't see ” he says.

I shook my head and bend to give him a kiss.

“We have to try for our daughter ”he says.

“Labour isn't easy. It's not sweets and biscuits

Sakhile. ”

“Just one last one ”

I should give him another child before he goes

out and brings one.

“Ok. Let me go and eat ” I walk out from our

bedroom. My phone rings and I look at it. What
does Asiphe want ? I ignored it and went to
dish up.

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

She settles down and plays with him while he is

resting on the car seat. I take the plastic and
put it aside.

“Oh he looks so cute. Your husband creates

good babies ”

“This one wouldn't be possible without me ” I

say.

“True ”

“I cooked. Should I dish up. ?” the door opens

and Sakhile walks in with Afika. I stand up and
go to give him a cheek kiss before greeting
Afika.

“Hello” Afika greets Asiphe and she greets back

while standing up.

“I am Asiphe. Slindo's school friend ”

“Baby you remember the bag I gave to you
yesterday ?”Sakhike says.

“Yes. It's on the bed. It's quiet heavy ”

Afika nods and moves to the main bedroom.

“I cooked. Sit down and I will dish up. Mngani

you can come. ” I said.

“I am still looking at the baby “ she rocks Zabelo

back and forth.

“Ok ” I walk to the kitchen and I go and dish up.

Soon I hear laughter and my gut tells me that I

should hurry up. I don't know but Asiphe asks
about my husband alot. I finish up and went to
serve them. Afika comes back inside the house
and I place everything on the table. This one , I
have to keep my eye on.

“I was just telling your husband how the baby

looks just like him. He will be handsome when
he grows up as well. ” I fake a smile.

“Its his son after all“ I say and Sakhile thanks

me for the food.
“You are Lucky Slindo”

“He is the lucky one ” I emphasises that.

“I truely am Baby. We will take the food on the

go ”

They stand up with their food.

“Bring my plates back please ”

He perks my lips.

“I will. I love you ” he says.

“I love you too ” they left and I am left with this

one. I want her gone already.

“When did you and Sakhile meet ?” she asks.

“7 years ago. I was in high school”

“You are lucky. I am sure he does everything

for you , I mean he seems like a full package. ”
she says while eating. I take my son.

“And your boyfriend ? ” I ask her.

“We broke up ”
“Why ?”

“Because of another man. ” already inside

something tells me she is referring to Sakhile.
Doesn't he get tired really ? I am pissed off.

“I am going to put this one down. You know

your way out ”

I stand up to put my son away. I look at him

and I think. No this one might plant things in
my house. I stand up and she is on her feet on
the same spot with her bag.

“i will see you then. Did I upset you ? ”

She asks. Yes! Yes you did !

”No , I am just tired. Thank you for the visit ” I

smile. She come and hugs me.

“I will see you mngani ”

She walks out. I click my tongue right after

before going to clean up and throw away her
food.
________
Its late at night. Zabelo is fed , Samkelo is called
and I have cooked supper for my husband. The
fire is burning quiet well and so I take the
Akarmans plastics she brought with stuff for
Zabelo and I throw in the first one. I can't risk
my son like that. I just simply can't , Sakhile
will but things for him if needed be.

“What are you burning ? “

I open the second plastic and look inside. Far

too many stuff, I ignore him and throw in the
things as the fire burns it.

“Did I do something ?“

“Are you sleeping with her ? ”

“Who ? ” he asks behind me as I pull my gown

together.

“Asiphe , my... The lady who was here earlier. ”

I can't even say friend.

“No , I am sleeping with no one , why would

you think that Slindo honestly why can't you
trust me ? Haven't I proven it !?”

“I don't know. honestly Sakhile you are trying ,

that I give to you but I can't trust easily.
Already she complimented you so much like
she wishes she is married to you. Like she
wants to have a baby with you. ”

“That doesn't mean I am sleeping with her

Slindo ”

I turn to him and he is angry. I sigh and I get

closer to him and place my hand on his chest.

“Dont hurt me again Sakhile. I wouldn't be able

to take it. ” I say.

“I just can't believe you right now ! ”

“Calm down , Yobe Gatseni ( I am sorry)”

He calms down a bit and holds my waist.

“I am trying Slie ”

“I know. Let's go inside. I want Samkelo back ”

He sighs.

“Fix yourself please “

“But Slie. He seems happy with your

grandmother ”
“I miss him. ”

“I don't know. ”i kiss his lips.

“ I wasn't asking permission for my son to come

back ”

I walk away from him. I went to prepare food

for him and washed the dishes that he left with.
He poured a glass of water and looked at me
while I prepare food for him.

“How many months does it take for you to heal

? ”oh my ,he really wants this child or he wants
sex ? Does he have stamina ?

“3 months ” I say.

“I will be gentle Slie ” he says.

“Sakhile ! I have to heal first before we can try

”

“I will be gentle baby. I will just shoot inside

and then the baby is made ”

He stands behind me.

“uyinkinga ( you are a problem )”

“Can we try ?”

“I don't know. ”

“Slie” if I don't give him what's due to him , he

will look else where.

“Ok , we can try. Please be as gentle. ”

I turn to him and he kisses my forehead.

“I will be. ”

I nodded and finished what I started. I gave

him his food while he ate. I went to check on
Zabelo and he was sound asleep. I look at him
and smile. I see a bit of Owami there as well,
Sakhile is garenteed in us having another child
but I love how supportive he is and the way he
loves Zabelo. I am just worked about his love
for Samkelo. If he can't give it to him then I
will. He made me love him as much as I love
this one Infront of me.
__________
Sakhile is weak ! When it comes to women he is
but his personality is something else. I try my
best to make him feel like he doesn't need all
these women out there but me but it all just
doesn't satisfy him. No he hasn't done anything
so far, I am just thinking and lost in thoughts
while I look at him cradling Zabelo. I have to
wake up , it's not easy taking care of a crying
baby in Ungodly hours and also tired from your
husband satisfactions.

“Bring him here , you should go ”

He brings Zabelo to me who is now Sound

asleep when he was crying a few moments ago.

“I will see you ”

“What if it doesn't work ?” being pregnant that

is.

“We will try again ”

He kisses my forehead.

”Behave ” I say.

“I will My love ” I nodded as he walked out. I

laid back down. I am in pain down there. I
haven't healed, I think something happened
interrupting my healing process. I should go to
the Doctor and see. My phone pings and take it.
It's Sakhile's grandmother at these hours. It's
not even 5 am.
“ I am moving in today ” oh no more baby
making now. I call Sakhile straight away.

“Is there something wrong ? ”

“Your grandmother is moving in ”

“Why ? ”

“I don't know ”

He groans.
“No more baby making then ” I say.

“You are not going to escape that Sthandwa

Sam ” I groan.

“Ok , let me rest then ”

“I love you ”

“I love you too. Becareful ”

“I will ” I hung up and sent money to my

grandmother for Samkelo's expenses. I then
rested.
_______
I woke later and went to cleaning. Atleast he
gave me some rest. I changed the linen in the
guest room and also did washing. I feel so darn
tired right after. I finally went to bath and I was
done quickly. I could hear the car and I went to
wear a gown and the main door opened.

“Kwazekwaphola. Kuyasho kukhona umakoti.

Kunuka kamnandi Sakhile , usebenzile Mfana
wami , Makoti ! ( it's so cool in here , it shows
there is a wife in this house . It even smells nice
Sakhile , you did well my Son . Slindokuhle ! )” I
wear my slippers and take of the gown quickly
and pull any dress that my hands gets on. I take
a doek as well and I put it on fast before
walking out of the bedroom.

“Gogo ” I say while walking towards them.

“Sakhile take my things to my room ” she has

claimed her place. She comes and gives me a
kiss.

“You look chubby and beautiful. Where is my

great grandson?”

“Asleep ”

“Bring him here ”

I walk away to go and get Zabelo. She has

settled when I come back. I hand over Zabelo
and she says the Ndlovu clan names before
kissing his face all over.

“He looks just like my late husband ”

“Sakhile said the same thing ”

“He told me that his name is Zabelo. ” I nodded.

“Where is Samkelo? ”

“He is at my home. My grandmother asked to

live with him as she lives alone ”i say.

“Oh that's good. I still have Sakhile's aunts and

cousins in the yard ” she says and smiles while
looking at Zabelo.

“Let me get you something” I say.

“No , I ate before I came here. ”

Sakhile comes back.

“Gogo , ngokukhulu ukuzithoba ubuyela nini

ekhaya ngoba wahlala kuSamkelo? ( With all
Due respect , when are you going home ? You
overstayed when Samkelo was born)” I hit his
arm.
“When Zabelo is old enough. I am here to assist
Slindo. ” she says with a smile.

“You can stay as long as need to be ” Sakhile is

not happy about my statement.

“I am going back ”

“Eat first ” I say and he nods sitting down.

“Sakhile is lucky to have you Slindokuhle ” I

smile and walk away. I dish up for him while
at it .

I get back to the lounge and I give Sakhile his

food and His grandmother asks us questions.
How marriage is and how are things ? We say
they are fine and we are doing well. We are
trying . Soon after Sakhile leaves when he is
done and I go to the kitchen. I drink some water
before I face his grandmother.
_________
My mother , She hasn't called , nor asked me
how marriage is even if I lied. I sometimes
forget I have a living mother. I am sure
Sakhile's father tells his friend everything
regarding us but no , she never takes her phone
and see fit to call me.
It's just a few days since Sakhile's grandmother
had arrived. Two weeks to be exact and Sakhile
hasn't been giving up on us trying for a child. A
baby shower has been organised by Sikelela's
girlfriend or should I say Fiance. Yes he
proposed to her and she called me later on
informing me that I will be part of her bridal
party. I am happy for her and she is a
wonderful one. They have been dating for
almost 10 years. Before I even came into the
picture with Sakhile , she is older than me so
expected . Why the wait though ? I guess it
worked for them than me and Sakhile but we
are good. We are in a good space.

I zip up the baby bag. It's hosted in Richmond

crest , Sakhile's home and already we are late.
Sakhile walks in the bedroom.

“We are late ” I say and he throws the Clicks

plastic on the bed.

“We will leave after this ” I take it and it's Home

pregnancy test.

“I can't be pregnant in two weeks. Zabelo is two

weeks Sakhile ” I say.

“Just one. ”
I take the plastic and hand the bag to him and
walk off.

“Thank you” he says and I get to the bathroom

and close the door.

Let me get this over and done with. I take them

out and pull my underwear down before sitting
down and I pee on the two sticks. I am done and
pull myself together and fix myself. I wash my
hands and I wait for some time. Time runs out
and I take them and look at them. I take them
and already everyone is on the car. I go and
throw them away before getting out locking
and I go to the car. I get inside and it's silent. He
looks at me but I don't look at him. He just
sighs and drives off.

“He doesn't bother me at night. He loves Gogo ”

Sakhile's grandmother says. I smile lightly and
Sakhile puts his hand on my thigh. I look at him.
He doesn't.

We get to his home and get out of the car. I

have the baby bag in my arm as we walk inside.
'Surprise !' being shouted and I smile and forget
about earlier. Sikelela's woman comes to hug
me. Everyone is here , even Nazo and he seems
genuinely happy. I hope he has moved on.

In a second I am pulled to sit down and they are

all over Zabelo and complimenting how cute he
looks. The ladies pry on wanting to hold him
while the men say how much he looks like his
great grandfather August. Presents showered
for Zabelo and it's like his birthday when he
had just arrived in this world. It's fun and
enjoyable and I am grateful for the gesture. I
ask for the bathroom when the festivity has
cooled down a bit and everyone is chilling. I
find it and use it. I am done and I want my
hands. Sakhile is waiting by the door. He has his
one hand in his pocket and another holding his
beverage.

“Talk to me ” he says. I just throw myself to

him and he hugs me back as I lay my head on
his chest.

“I am pregnant again ”

There is silence. This is what I hate. He kisses

my forehead.

“We are going to the Doctor tomorrow ” he says.

“Ok ”

“I love you and thank you ” I am just glad I am

going to give him what he wants without any
other woman bringing it.
“I love you too Baba ka Zabelo” he chuckles and
I give him a little kiss at that.

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE.

I am tired ! Sakhile's grandmother being here

makes a small difference than I thought it
would. Old age and I do everything. Expected as
a Wife in this family and taking care of my
family. I Don't even have time to myself and
grab a book. Really was looking forward to
Wine because I need it at this point. Zabelo is
resting and so as Samkelo. I had to have him
back , Sakhile is gone for a few days to
Empangeni and alone. I trust him , I keep on
saying that and he calls me quiet frequently so I
wouldn't complain. I have been ignoring
Asiphe for some time as well. I need some rest
and time to myself honestly.

“Makoti” Sakhile's grandmother calls me as I

threw myself on the bed. I felt like crying but I
stood up and went to her.

“Gogo ?”
“Owungenzele itiye ntombazane ( Make some
tea for me child )” I nod and walk to the
kitchen. I start making tea for her and take out
some biscuits. I lay my head on the counter and
groan. The kettle flicks and I stand up right and
finish making tea.

I take it to her in a tray when I am done. She

thanks me and I am off to my bedroom. I throw
myself on the bed and i take my phone checking
for any calls from Sakhile. I got a message from
a person I haven't talked to in months. I
decided to make the call.

“Hello” I say.

“Hi ” there is silence.

“I am sorry I...”

“He is away” I say.

“I miss you. I am sorry I shouldn't have

contacted you ”

“Its fine ” I love his company , I won't lie.

“Should I come ? ” he asks. I smile and feel

excited as well. I nod
“Yeah , but Gogo is here ” I say.

“Make tea for her and she will sleep ”

“She is drinking it already ” I say. He chuckled.

“Ok, I am coming. Give me an hour”

“Sure” there was silence. He hung up after. I

restedand looked up the ceiling. I stood up and
went to check on the kids.

“Gogo I have to go and get something from the

mall for Samkelo” I say.

She is already sleepy while drinking tea and

watching tv. He was right , she is gonna sleep.

“Mmmh?”

“I am going on a quick errand”

“Oh, I will look after the little ones ” i thought I

would take Zabelo but it's fine. I hope she is not
a deep sleeper but she doesn't seem like one.
She is always vigilant.

I turn and go to our bedroom. I just wear

slippers and I sit on the bed waiting. After an
hour I got a message. I took my bag and I
walked in the living room and she woke up and
looked at me.

“I will watch them” I nodded not sure. She

drank her remaining tea , I am sure it's cold
now.

I walked out of the gate soon enough and I saw

the car in a distance. I walked to it and he got
out and stood there.

“Hi” he says.

“Hello” he opens the door for me and I get

inside. He gets in as well soon enough and
drives off. I hold onto my bag.

“How are you?” he asks.

“I am good and yourself?” he nods.

“I am good” I nod.

There was silence between us till we got to

somewhere far off. He stopped the car and we
just looked ahead. What am I doing here? Good
question. My phone rings and he looks at me , I
take it out of my bag and I answer it. It's
Sakhile.

“Sakhile”

“Baby how are you?” he asks.

“I am ok, I went to get something for Samkelo” I

say.

“You shouldn't drive in your state ”

“I got a cab ” I look next to me.

“Ok, call me when you are home”

“Ok”

I hung up. He took my phone away from my

hands.

“Nazo !”

He gives it back soon enough and I look at him.

“So he wouldn't try tracing your number

Everytime you go out.”

“Is he capable?”
“Sakhile is not a fool. Soon enough he will find
out about this but here we are risking
everything”

I kept quiet and looked at my phone.

“I was excited coming here” I say and he looks

at me.

“And Now?”

“Just a little ” I say , he just chuckles.

“Fair enough ”

“I am pregnant” silence consumes the car.

“Again” I add

I always felt like I should always tell him what's

happening in my life. It's easy to do so.

“How do you feel?”

“I just had Zabelo so I am mixed emotions”

“If it makes you happy. I am happy”

I nodded and leaned in to him and he does the

same.

“We should resist it ” he says.

“You made me used to it” his lips touch mine.

“How do you feel when I touch you?” he holds

my waist and i close my eyes taking a deep
breath.

“Tingly , butterflies” I say and open my eyes.

“You know what I feel when you touch me ?” he

says.

“Tell me ” I say softly.

“I feel complete instantly , like your hands

could touch me anytime. I love you more than I
should each time” He says.

“Nazo”
“Thembalam, Inhliziyo Yami, Sizathu Sami
sokuphila( My hope , My heart , The reason to
live)”

“I don't want you holding onto nothing” I say.

“Its something to me.”

I hold his cheek and I kiss him. He pauses and
pulls me to him before kissing me and I go with
the flow , He kisses my neck and comes back to
my lips. He breaks the kiss after some time and
looks at me.

“You do things to me ” he says and I look at his

buldge.

“Oh Snazozonke” I lay my head on his chest.

“I hope I am the only man that makes you feel

different when you are with me. Umuhle
MaNgcolosi ( you are beautiful)”

“Thank you” I sigh.

_________
Nazo brought me back home after we bought
something to come home with. I always enjoy a
day with him and I won't lie about that but I
love Sakhile. It's just I feel different when I am
with Nazo like. Comfortable enough to be
Slindokuhle and bring out the good side of me ,
the side I never knew I had before. He is great
company. Sakhile's grandmother had cooked
supper so that is sorted. I changed Zabelo's
nappy and fed Samkelo as well.

We watched some TV together before everyone

went to sleep. My husband called me and I was
happy to get a call from him. We talked for
hours and he told me about the things he wants
us to talk about when he comes back. I wonder
what they are but he said it's about the growth
in our marriage. I hope this is my break
through God please let it be. I slept after his
call and got a message from Nazo saying good
night. I slept well, I won't lie.

_______
I miss my husband. He hasn't told me when he
is coming back home. Zabelo was feeling a bit
sick yesterday so I woke up early in the
morning and took him to the Doctor. Sicknesses
scare me but it was just a minor flue of which i
was relieved from. Samkelo seems to be not
happy with being here , he kept on complaining
of missing his friend. I really want him to be
here but if he wants to go then I can let him be.
The pregnancy. I didn't want to be pregnant as
yet but when my husband is happy I am happy
as well. Its my job to keep him happy. I took
Samkelo to McDonald's just so he can play there
while I sit and eat as well to get rid of the
boredom. I cover Zabelo from the light and I
look at Samkelo comes out of the slide and I
smile. I scroll through my Facebook and I take a
picture of myself and post . Zabelo cries and I
take him out of the pram and rock him back
and forth while taking his bottle. He doesn't
want it but doesn't stop. I stand up and moves
around the area and he finally calms down. I
place him in his pram and i pull it and push it
back and forth rocking him to sleep. Soon he is
asleep with his eyes closed. What if our baby is
a boy ? Then what ? This is frustrating but I will
enjoy this pregnancy I know. Sakhile wanted
this one more than ever.
It has been long now. We should go home and
Zabelo is already irritated from his crying
tantrums. I call Samkelo and he is not happy
about leaving but we don't have a choice. I
promise to bring him tomorrow of which I
wouldn't do but he co-operates. I take his food
and our things before we leave. I get them in
the car securing them inside before I get in as
well and drive off. I should visit Nosi's grave
very soon and clean it. I make that a note in my
head to remember. I get home and park the car
before I get these two boys out. I walk with
Zabelo inside. Sakhile's grandmother is
watching Nigerian Movies while drinking tea.
She will sleep again.

“Nihambe kanjani ?( How did you go?)” she

asks.

“We went well”

Samkelo jumps next to her and show her his

new toy.
“Your husband is back. He is asleep ” oh
Goodness, Thank God.

“Ok , this one is asleep as well ” I say.

I walk off after and go to our bedroom. I opn

the door and he does seem tired. His shoes are
all over and so as his jacket. His bag on the
floor by the door. I put Zabelo down on his
little bed and clean up a bit . He moves and
looks at me in sleepy eyes.

“You are back” he says and sits up. I get on the

bed and I kiss him an he responds.

“How was the trip baby ?”

“I am Exhausted. We fought with the others.

Those old men don't want to hear anything ”

“Be rational please ” It scares me a times.

“I will be. “

He pulls me to lay on him.

“Youd trip ?”
“I missed you”

“The baby?” he asks.

“The baby is ok. We are ok”

“Ok, come let me hold you close to me ” i

snuggle closer before his phone rings. He
stretches his hand.

“Who is it now ?” he frowns and answers it.

“Sharp ”

He is silent. He sits up.

“Ok , I am coming”

He gets up from the bed as he hung up. He gets

his track pants.

“I have to rush somewhere ?”

“Taxi?”

“No Nazo” I frown.

“What....” he interrupts me.

“He got in a car accident.I have to rush baby”

He wears his hoodie and takes his keys before

rushing out. I take my phone and try calling
Nazo but it goes to voicemail. I sink through the
bed. God I know we have done bad things but
don't take him away please. Tears streamed
down my cheek. I looked at my phone, I am
scared really. He shouldn't die right ?
_________

“Be with us in this tough situation God. Amen...”

I open my eyes and we look at each other.

“Let me make some tea fpr you while we wait

for Sakhile ” I get up from my knees after
prayer with Sakhile's grandmother. We haven't
heard anything about Nazo or Sakhile
returning. I have been trying him but nothing.
It's almost midnight and he is not back.

“No , I will go and rest. Good night” she says. I

nod.

“Good night” she walks off to the passage as she

disappears.

I go to the kitchen and I wash the dishes just to

busy myself. The front door opens and I wipe
my hands rushing to Sakhile who looks drained.
“He is ok?” I ask.

“I need to rest ” Sakhile says. I nod

“Where is gogo ?”

“She went to sleep. She couldn't wait ”

“Ok. Let's go ”

“Let me finish here ”

“I need you baby ” I nodded and we switched

off the lights before going to the bedroom. He
took off his clothes and I see no gun. Good !

“The car got crushed. ” he says and i cringe.

“Is he ok?”

“I don't know Slindo ” I want to ask further but

I keep quiet. He gets done unclothing.

“Its bad. I left while he is still in surgery. The

doctor said if he survives then it's a miracle. ”

He says. I could feel the heaviness in his voice. I

am just questioning. All the people who keep
me sane will I loose them all ?

“Lets rest ” I finally say after getting my Shakey

voice into order.

“Where was the accident?” I ask

“N3” I nodded. I won't ask anymore. I should let

him be.

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

I have never felt so sick before , even during my

previous pregnancies I have never felt this sick
before. I closed the toilet seat and I feel like I
will fall on the floor anytime.

“Slindo , Vula lah ! ( open here)” I look at the

locked door before I open the tap water and run
my fingers under the cold water. I finally close
it after washing my face.

“Slindokuhle” He doesn't want to stop. I feel

bad.

I can't help but blame myself for Nazo being

on that hospital bed , Maybe someone saw us
but I don't believe it's my husband. He can't be
that cruel. It's a sign that whatever we had we
should just stop it before things get bad. I sigh
holding onto the sink before I brush my teeth
and I am done. I walk out of the bathroom and
leaned by the door frame and we just looked at
each other. He hasn't left and has been worried
sick since the wee hours of morning. I have
been feeling sick since last night but I couldn't
hold it in.

“I am fine ” I say to him. He doesn't seem

convinced.

“You don't look fine ” he comes closer and pulls

me to him as I take in his scent. Not fresh not
Bad but perfect and calming.

“I don't think this one will be as smooth” I say.

“Its ok , Ngikhona mina ( I am here )” I hold

onto him tightly as I close my eyes.

“Ngiyakuthanda Sakhile , Ngenhliziyo Yami

yonke ( I love you Sakhile , with all of my heart
)” tears stream down my cheeks. He kisses my
cheek.

“I love you so Much Sthandwa sam ”

I sob.

“Shhhh ” he tries hushing me.

“I am sorry ”

I say softly as he hugs me with the same efforts.

____________
At bed rest , Sakhile's orders as he feels like I
need to rest for today. It's good to see him
hands on alot especially regarding Zabelo. I
called Samkelo so we could sit together and
spend some time with him because it seems his
father is not going to spilt his attention between
the both of them. He slept after that and i left
him on the bed. I pulled my cardigan together
as I walked into the lounge.

“Ndodakazi. Ngizwile ukuthi awuphilile kahle

namhlanje. Iloh omncane ( My daughter, I
heard you are not well today . It's the little one
bothering you )”

I smiled.

“He is other some today. ” she giggled.

“Do you need anything ?” I ask.

“No , I am fine. Sakhile is outside. ” I nodded.
Zabelo was asleep in her hands.

I wore slippers and made my way outside.

Sakhile was on the phone while smoking, when
he is stressed I don't ask him what is the
problem , if he trusts that I should know he
would let me know. I stood next to him.

“No , I am coming for the afternoon visit. I am

still home ” he says to the person on the other
side.

“Ok, Update me ” he hung up and took a puff.

He let the smoke out and we stood in silence.

“You are not supposed to be standing here ”

He threw his cigarette on the floor and stomped

it before he could even finish it.

“I needed fresh air ”

“How as you feeling ? ” he asks.

“Good. Thank you for taking care of us “ he

smiled.

“Anytime baby “
“Samkelo is asleep. How about you play some
soccer with him when he wakes up ?”

He looked at me. My eyes were pleading with

him. He sighed.

“Sure”

I kissed his cheek.

“Thank you , let me go and cook ”

“We will order some meat. Let's sit here ”

He sat down and I sat next to him and laid my

head on his shoulder . I pulled my cardigan
closer to my body so I could get warmer.
___________
Samkelo woke up later and I made some food
for him and I then took Zabelo and fed him ,
changed him before he was taken away again.
Sakhile went out to buy some food in the mean
time. I am praying for Nazo to be ok. I am
scared of even asking because I feel like I won't
take any news quiet well , until then. I won't
ask what's happening with him. No news is
good news right ? Yes !

I instructed Samkelo to go and take his ball. I

will keep him busy while his father is away and
on his way back. I felt like my kicks were too
strong for him as he is a child so I tried being as
delicate as I could be. Sakhile came back as we
were still at it and I was getting tired. I told
Samkelo I needed a break and he looked a bit
disappointed.

“Come here ” he came to me and I picked him

up.

“Mommg love you neh ? ” he nodded. I kissed

his cheek before putting him down and went
inside. I looked at Sakhile .

“I am going ”

“Now please” he drank the last water drops

from the glass.

“Ok “ he put the glass down and he walked out.

I followed after him and I looked out the
window. I am worried. Nothing worries me like
Samkelo and Sakhile's relationship.

I went back to the kitchen. I stopped what I was

doing, I should really try here. It seems like I
am not. Nazo , the person I should've cut out a
long time but something kept on stopping me.it
would save us alot of trouble.
“Sakhile said we are going to the hospital in the
afternoon” Sakhile's Grandmother walked in
and I turned. She went to the fridge.

“Oh” I smiled faintly and tuned away from her.

“Are you ok ? ”

“Yes mah ”

She nodded and I carried on with what I was

doing.
__________
When they say my life is a mess they are talking
about mine. Not necessarily but I habour the
guilt like I am the one who drove that vehicle
and injured him. We are all here, when she
meant "We" I thought she was referring to
herself and Sakhile as well but I am here on
these hospital chairs while looking around.
Same place , different people with different
fates as well. Bab'Ndlovu took Zabelo away and
I haven't seen them ever since then. We spoke
briefly asking me how Sakhile I treating me
and I told him how he is at the moment.

“Shhh Mamncane”

“Oh Qiniso. !” she sobbed. Sakhile's aunt, she

cried as she came out of Nazo's ward.
 They hushed her as she cried. Sikelela hasn't
said anything as they have came back from
seeing Nazo , it's two at a time. Sakhile has
already went in with one of Nazo's sisters as
emotional support because every woman so far
has been crying since they came back. I am
scared to even go and see. I don't want to know
if see him.

“Where is Baba ?” they change the subject a bit.

“Out” Sakhile said.

“You can go Slindo” i am supposed to go with

Sakhile's father since it's only the both of us
who haven't seen Nazo.

I swallow before getting up, I wakk through the

cold soul draining passages. I don't want to
reach the room as yet as well. I keep on
walking and I reach it before I could even turn
back . I stand there hearing the beeping sounds
but couldn't see him. I looked at the board
outside and stated his name and Surname and
the Doctor that he is under the care of.

“Walk in Ndodakazi” I turn and Baba looks at

me.
I turn and walk inside. I am shaking a bit, he
leads the way and we get to his bedside. He is
connected to machines and has a huge stitch
across his forehead to hear his left eye. More
on his upper body as it is exposed and also in
between his fingers. I feel tears welding my
eyes but I push them back. Bab'Ndlovu looks
down to him.

“Ngane Kamfwethu owangishiyela ibele ( My

brother's Son)”he looked at me.

“He is his only son” I looked at him and looked

down to Nazo. He is silent , not moving just his
chest , up and down. Up and down slowly. The
machine keeping track of his heart rate.

“For how long ?”

“Baba?”i looked at him. My heart was beating

fast. No he wouldn't do that to his nephew. Does
he know ?

“I know Slindokuhle ” he says calmly. My heart

sank to my stomach and it turned.

“I know that you and Nazo secretly love each

other ” he says.

“I love Sakhile ” I say.

“I know. ” he says and there is silence. I want to
leave.

“Nazo and I are quiet close at times. ” he says

looking at him then me.

“When he described the woman he loves I knew

it was your description”

“I never meant any disrespect ” I say.

“One thing Sakhile doesn't know ...”

I am silent.

“I won't keep on defending him. ” he says.

“Baba ” I have to ask. I swallow while he looks

at me.

“Why is he here ?”i ask.

“The truck on N3 collided with his car.”

There was silence.

“The truck company will pay for his hospital

bills as the truck was at fault ”
“You don't have a hand ? ” I blurt out
.
“He is my son ”

“I am sorry ”

“Choose who you want, don't jump ships. I am

old to be part of your marital business ”

“I Love Sakhile”

“Then stay faithful to each other Slindokuhle.

Leave Nazo. Don't entertain him ”

He says firmly and I nod.

“Yebo baba ” we stay there in silence. I wonder

if Sakhile knows as well. He would've
confronted me along time ago though.
____________
The days passed by really quickly and now it
has been two weeks since Nazo was in the
hospital. I haven't stopped praying for some
miracle to happen and for him to wake up ,
that's all. I stuck to my decision. I made vows
that I have broken but now I will stick through
them. Being loyal and faithful to my husband,
also holding onto us no matter what situation
we face. I am in the kitchen cooking a meal for
him as he would pop in anytime soon from the
taxi rank now. I close the pot. His
grandmother moved in to his father's house and
there is peace as well. That is what I love.

“Mmmh smells wonderful” he says while

walking in.

“You cam a few minutes early ”

“I won't stay. I need something from the

bedroom ” he said and walked there. I dished
up for him and he came back with a folded
black plastic.

“Come and eat”

“I will see you tonight ” he says.

“Sakhile! ” the door closes and he is out already.

He knows how much I hate it hen he leaves

without eating. I take the food and out it inside
the microwave. I go to the lounge. The kids are
asleep , Let me spoil myself with some alone
time while at that before they wake up.

I throw the plastic glass inside the sink after

putting Samkelo to rest again. He had a harder
time sleeping. I try Sakhile's number. It's after 9
pm and he should be home now or left a
message atleast. I am defeated at this point. I
switch off the lights and get in our bedroom. I
underss and my phone pings. I take it and it's a
message from him.

“I will be back tomorrow at noon baby. I will

explain when I come back. ” I chuckled.

“Don't come back ” I sent.

“I love you ” he says. I click my tongue , I am

furious at this moment.

Calm down Slindo and think of the life inside of

you. I got inside the bed and I just cried. Why is
Sakhile doing this to me ?

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

I felt worse than before. This pregnancy is not

giving me any Mercy. My grandmother called
asking for Samkelo and he was happy to leave
so I prepared him and then I packed his things.
I don't want him going away but he is not as
happy being here than being with my
grandmother. I bathed the kids and got them
dressed. I will tell Sakhile when I am back
about Samkelo's departure.

“Kelo take Zabelo's bag to the car ”

He takes it from my bed and I take Zabelo with

my phone and car keys. We walk out of the
house locking. I buckle the both of them up
before I drive off to Sweetwater. Alot is on my
mind at the moment. I hear Zabelo's soft
quivers and I look at them before he settles
once more. I sigh and I keep my head ahead on
the road. I pass by the mall and bought some
food I will drop Samkelo with when I get home.
Shopping with kids is difficult and when you
are alone. Samkelo takes what he wants and
keeps on throwing it inside. It's mostly sugar
and I don't have the energy to put it back or tell
him to but let him be. We pay and walk out
soon. I get them inside the car and also our
things and I am done. I take the trolley away
before going back inside the car. I take the
bubble gum and pop it inside my mouth.
Sakhile made me get used to buying bubble
gum Everytime I go and shop. I drive off to
Sweetwater and they are a bit tired. They rest
while at that and silence consumed the whole
car. I sighed while bitting my bottom lip.

I get to Sweetwater and I take Samkelo first.

My grandmother opens the door and looks at
me before she comes closer to me and I smile,
she does the same.

“Where is the little one ?” she asks.

“Inside the car” she walks off to take Zabelo.

I put Samkelo on the bed in my old room and I

take a fleece and cover him with it. I walk out
and my grandmother is talking to Zabelo who is
sound asleep.

“He looks just like your husband ” I smile.

“There are things in the car ,I bought some

groceries” I say

“Thank you. Where are you spending

Christmas this year ?” she asks.

“I don't know.”

“Ok” I watched her.

“How is school going?” I swallowed and looked

at her.

“I haven't went to school since Zabelo” she

looks at me.
“Slindo”

“Gogo ” she sighs shaking her head and says

nothing.

Zabelo cries in her arms and I stand up.

“Let me go and grab his bag.”

“You are leaving him too ?”

“I don't know”

“You will fetch him next week” I need a break.

“Ok , Thank you” I walked out to take his bag

from the car and so as Samkelo's.
________
The door opened as I looked at him walking in.
He walks straight to the bedroom side and I
watched him before looking at the tv Infront of
me. He comes back after some time and sits
next to me. He lays his head on my lap, It
seems like he didn't sleep even a wink . I placed
my hand on his cheek.

“Are you ok?” I ask.

“Yeah, I am just tired ”i kept quiet.

“Where are the kids?”

“Sweetwater”

He looked at me. He didn't seem pleased from

it but didn't say anything.

“I am sorry ” I say

“Its ok”he is just saying. I know he is not happy

especially Zabelo being away.

“You left just like that yesterday”

“I had to go to Empangeni to sort out things. ”

he said.

“All good?”

“Not really.Baba went down to sort it out ”

“Being a boss is hard” I say.

“Mmh ”

I pulled the fleece and covered him with it.

“Rest, I can see you are tired”

He nodded and closed his eyes. I kissed the

side of his head and watched him sleep on me.
________
"Don't you dare touch her ! ” someone shook me
and I groaned.

I must have fell asleep because my neck is in

pain. I opened my eyes and looked around.
Our house is full of police and it's upside down.
I sat up and the officer quicky grabbed my arm
pulling me up roughly.

“We have found this ” one of the officers comes

back with plastic bag .

“I don't have anything here !” Sakhile says as

they pinned him on the wall.

I am scared. I don't have the energy to talk.

“We will determine that” they say as they take

the plastic bag and open it up.

“The amount of weaponry in here” they look at

Sakhile then me.

“Take them away, Take finger print on it ” they

close the bag.
I can't believe Sakhile keeps a bag full of guns
in our house ! How come I have never stumbled
upon it.

“Gatseni, Gatseni. We will be in touch very soon

” the officer says to him and tells the rest to
come. They let me go and I rub my burning
arm. The door gets closed and I sink on the
couch.

“Baby I did nothing ” he says coming closer to

me but I raise my hand.

“What were they here for ?” he is silent.

“Sakhile ! ”

“Pamela's death, I am the first suspect ”

I throw my hands in the air and stood up from

the couch.

“You will use the guest room tonight ” I say.

“Slindo, I didn't do anything. ”

“And those Guns ? What if Samkelo found one

and ....” I couldn't say it. I couldn't think what
would've happened if he found one.
“You are careless Sakhile. Ngasho angithi
ngalendaba yezibhamu ( I told you about this
gun issue)”

“I know , you did ”

“I can't , I just can't ”

Hormones kick in and I just cry. He comes

closer and pulls me into his arms.

“Ngiyaxolisa Sthandwa Sam( I am sorry my

love)”

I sobbed.

The next day Sakhile's cousins came to help

clean up. Most of my home accessories were
destroyed. Especially my favourite vase. I loved
it so much, we haven't talked since last night.

“Where should I throw this ?” Sane , Sikelela's

fiance says.

She is referring to the black plastic.

“There is a big him outside. You can take it

there ” she nods and walks off.
“MaNgcolosi” i turn and look at him, I sigh and
go to hug him. He hugs me back and kisses my
forehead.

“I am sorry ”

“It's ok”

There's silence between us at the moment. He

breaks the hug and touches my stomach.

“Its still flat ”

“I know. I am just excited.

“I am glad the kids weren't here when

everything happened.

”Me too” he says.

I moved away from him and we went about

cleaning. Soon we were all done and the guys
grab beers and sat down.
“We should start cooking” I say and Sane
agrees.

“What are we going to cook ? ”

“I don't know. ” I say.

We take out ingredients and we start with
cooking. I ask her how everything is on her side
and she just glows up. Clearly happy and that
made me happy, she is a nice person shame.
We finished making food quickly and went to
serve those men. We all settled and ate having
conversations here and there. A trip going to
Msinga was raised but left hanging. It would do
me some good to see my daughter again. It has
been so long since I went there. I feel bad.
Sane offers to wash the dishes and I help her
out as well.
__________
“Baba Mnumzane... ! ”

The people sing as we join in. It's Saneliwsiwe

and Sikelela's traditional wedding. Everyone is
in a very good mood and take me back to the
day I wedded Sakhile. The white wedding will
be tomorrow as have been said and what the
couple and family agreed on. We are in Msinga
before we will travel to Durban where the
official white wedding will happen.

It has been two years. Good ones to be exact,

The shift and change in our relationship
determined that for us and made things simply
amazing for me and my husband. We are
staying true to each other and being the best we
could be to each other and to our children. We
have 3 kids in total now. Samkelo , Zabelo and
Linathi. We have a daughter as per our prayers
and wishes but after that I have been having
complications, with regards pregnancy. We
have discussed to have atleast 5 kids and then
we are done but after Linathi I didn't go beyond
a month of being pregnant. I have already
miscarried three and it took a toll on the both of
us and decided to wait. Baba suggested that we
do a cleansing ceremony and we did one but
haven't tried since then. Nazo recovered from
his injuries took 7 months of him being
hospitalised as he had server head injuries but
he recovered and God answered my prayers
through that. I promised baba that I won't
entertain Nazo and after him being discharged
he has been working overseas alot meaning no
time to entertain each other and honestly
Sakhile and I don't need these kind of things in
our lives.

“Sangena Sangena , Sangena phakathi...”

The Ndlovu Family Ululates seeing their Second

daughter In law , Oh she looks so beautiful .
Sikelela is smitten and he can't even hide how
happy he is.The ceremony commenced very
well and we were moved to eat. As a Makoti
you never have time to sit down at your in law's
. You have to be up and down. Left and right ,
everywhere.
“Slindokuhle” I turned and it's Sakhile's
grandmother calling me.

I leave what I am doing and I go to her. She

says I must follow her and I go after her into
her bedroom. It's very clean. Cleaner than it
usually is.

“Sit down ”

I sit down on the couch in her bedroom and she

looks at me and smiled.

“You are a blessing my child ” I smile.

“Thank you” she runs her fingers on her bed

cover that is nearly made.

“I am old now you know ”

There is silence.

“Its time I went home ” oh no.

“You still have to see more of your

grandchildren ”she smiled.

“I trust you with my family my child. I miss my

husband ”

I just sigh.

“Come here ”

She kisses my cheek as I get to her.

“I know it's hard at times ”

“I try ”

“Please do and don't give up”

I nodded

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

“Two down. More to go ” I said while hugging

Sane , She really looks beautiful in her
traditional outfit.
Finally I got to catch her and be able to
congratulate her and make her feel more
welcomed in the family.

“You look beautiful. Congratulations Mrs

Ndlovu” I say.

“Tomorrow I will be lawfully” I smile.

“I am tired ”

“Lets get you something to eat ” I say.

“I want to see Sikelela first. That man God !”

she melted and I laughed, we shared one.

“Go to your husband sis” she rushed off. I stood

there , someone pulled my skirt down. I looked
down and I picked him up.

“Who are you with ?” I kiss his cheek.

I walked off with Zabelo in my arms. I went to

the kitchen to feed him without interupping
anyone.

We left Msinga very late going to Durban. Our

rooms were already booked for tomorrow and I
am really tired. I rested while Sakhile was
driving us down there.
___________
The wedding day has came. I woke up earlier
just so I can be more prepared. The kids stayed
behind with the rest that are not coming to the
wedding like Sakhile's grandmother. I
prepared bath water for firstly for Sakhile and
he went to bath first and I went after. I got out
and he was already dressed in a suit and
looking wonderful.

“You look amazing Sthandwa Sam ” I kissed his

lips as he held my waist.

“Thank you baby ” he perks my forehead and I

move from his hold and went to get dressed. I
finished up and put on a bit of make up just to
look more wonderful. I got done.

“Time is running out Slindo ” I took my clutch

and phone. I stood up as he looked away from
his watch.

“Lets go ” I nodded.

We walked out of the hotel room and went to

the venue where the ceremony will be held. We
entered and greeted everyone we saw. We sat
down near the front and I switched my phone
off so there wouldn't be any disturbance.
The ceremony started and we stood up
welcoming the bride. She looked very
wonderful. Sikelela had his friends next to him
and he looked equally presentable today , more
of a man and less of a party boy that he is. We
sat down and watched Sane shedded a few
tears here and there and Sikelela wiping her
tears away. Soon enough they were declared
husband and wife. We were all so happy for the
couple Infront of us.
Time to leave came and we went to the
reception. Everything went smoothly today , no
havoc coming from any angle. Sakhile
reminding me of our wedding day made it more
blissful. It's like we got married yesterday
when it was a few years ago. I am glad we tried
and pushed on with our marriage.

“i need the bathroom ” I say.

He nods and I stood up and walked off. I found

one and I did what I had to do. When I was
done I walked out and I stopped my tracks. My
heart was beating fast but decided to plaster a
smile while I pass by.

“Hi ”

I walked off but he spoke.

“I see you are happy ”

I turned to him and nodded.

“You look beautiful like Everytime I see you” he

says
“It was nice seeing you ok and well”

“I was fighting for someone ,I couldn't give up ”

he sounded drunk or am I just imagining things.

“Nazo please. ” I breathed out closing my eyes.

“I have to go , Just wanted to say hi ”

I nodded and walked away from him. I sat

down next to Sakhile. He was on a phone call
but he cut it short as I sat down.

“Business later ” I said holding his hand and he

kissed it.

“Attention please ! ” the sound of the

microphone caught our attention we looked at
the stage.

“I have a speech !” he kept on tapping the

microphone.

“Nazo ! ” his father said standing up.

“Woah baba stand there ”

He put his hand in his pocket. Clearly he is

drunk .
“My brothers , my cousins are now married” he
chuckled.

“I also want to get married to a woman ! ”

everyone is looking at him. Someone get him off
there!

“Close to 6 years I have loved this woman with

my whole heart and I still love her !”

Tears streamed down his eyes. Baba stood up

and went towards him.

“Nazo let's go ” he said.

“No Babomncane ! I need to say this. ”Sakhile's

father moved away.

Everyone is looking at the man infornt of us

sobbing for a woman. My heart beat is racing
and I am looking at the one next to me who had
his attention on his cousin. He took off his
blazer and threw it on the floor.

“Slindokuhle ” oh my God. Can the ground

swallow me right now ? I hear Sakhile's
breathing patterns changing but I dated to not
look at him.
“She is the woman I foolishly love just like she
foolishly loves my cousin !”

Sakhile got off his chair and went towards

Nazo.

“I am the only person who will truely love you.

The person who won't treat you like second
best Slindokuhle !”

Sakhile threw a punch at him and he stumbled

a bit dropping his microphone. Sane is crying as
they are ruining her day. Sakhile's uncles rush
towards them and I am shaking on my seat.
This is a mess. A big one. I stood up as I felt
tears running down my cheeks and ran out of
the place. I went to our hotel room and I got in
and closed the door. I slid down it and I cried, I
created this mess .I shouldn't have found
comfort in Nazo . I shouldn't have went to seek
trouble but it's rather late to blame myself. I
stood up and went to wash my face and wiped
it I could hear the door banging and I am scared
to moved from where I am.

“Slindokuhle !” he is angry. I walk out slowly

from the bathroom and he rushes towards me
and makes me kiss the wall with a slap.

Bangs on the door for him to open follow as

well but he has locked the door. It's just me and
him. He pulls me hair dragging me .

“Sakhile ! ”

“You slept with my cousin Slindokuhle ”

He dragged me to the balcony with my hair as I

was kicking and screaming. He is going to kill
me. He lets go of my hair and takes out his gun.

“Sakhile I didn't. I have never ”i said. I can't be

honest. He is going to kill me . I sob.

“Are those kids even mine ? Is ,Zabelo and

Linathi mine ? ”

“Yes , Yes they are Sakhile. Sthandwa Sam

please ”

“Fuck it Slindo ”

He walks back inside. I tried wiping my tears

and he comes out again holding a belt.

“Strip” he says ,the banging sounds don't

subside

“Sakhile , Sakhile open here ! ” his father

shouts.
“Baby”

“Fuck it Slindo strip ! ”

I was shaking and struggling to unzip my dress.

He took out a pocket knife and cut the dress off
my body. I a bit stabbed as well as he was
cutting roughly. I was left in my underwear.
He rolled his sleeves up.

“Sakhile please, I...aaaahh! ”

The first bash on my skin. Hard and burning.

His heavy breathing said I am in for it.

“Sakhile I am sorry ”

“You will never Sleep with another man Slindo

mark my words. No man , I mean no man will
touch you ”

He kept on beating me. Each one painful than

the last.

“Ngiyaxolisa Gatseni ! ( I am sorry )”

My cries didn't do anything to him. Instead gave

him a boost. He saw that the belt wasn't enough
and went back inside. He came back with a wet
towel and he hit my skin. I felt numb and my
crying wasn't helping.
___________
I hold my mouth closed just to muffle my sobs
after he was done he left me there. I have
never , ever felt so much pain In my life. I
pulled myself to the bathroom. I don't want to
see Nazo or Sakhile. I just want my kids at this
moment. I took a bath and got out. I went to
put my pyjamas on , it was difficult. My body
aching but I tried. A knock on the door startled
me and I kept my silence it was really dark and
I wanted to sleep. I got in bed and laid there.
The door opened and I held onto the pillow
while I looked at the balcony.

“Sistas ” she comes and lays next to me.

“Are you ok ?”

I nodded. He ...he hit me.

“Bab' Ndlovu and Sikelela said I should come

and check on you. Where is Sakhile ?”Sane
speaks.

“I...” I shrug because my voice will betray me.

“Nazo.. he wants to check on you as well he...”

“I don't want to see him Sane !” I snap.

“I am sorry” she kissed my cheek and got off the

bed. I heard the door closing and I kept on
crying. I slept after that.

I woke up and my body felt quiet worse than it

was yesterday. I looked by my side and he was
sitting on the chair with the gun Infront of me
and him. He was still in yesterday's clothes. I
tried sitting up.

“I packed our things. We are leaving in 20

minutes”

“I have never slept with him Sakhile”

“I will sort you both out. I don't care who or

what he is he is not God that I know ..” What
does he mean ? He got of the chair and took his
gun.

“Get ready or I will drag you to get done ” I got

off the bed and slowly made my way to the
bathroom I got in and I cried.

________
We left earlier than everyone. On the road I
though we would be in a car accident anytime .
“Are we going to get the kids?” he looks at me. I
guess not. I wanted my kids with me today.

His phone rings and he looks at it. I take a peak

as well and its his father. He answers it.

“This is between me and my wife , don't involve

yourself !”

He hangs up and throws it at the back .

“My cousin Slindokuhle , my cousin ?”

He chuckled but it's not a nice one. I swallow

and do a silent prayer that I don't die. Now
without my kids .

CHAPTWR TWENTY SEVEN.

He pulled me inside the house and we went to

the bedroom. Tears have dried up and crying
can't help me because it does nothing to him.

“Sakhile can we talk please , I am begging you

to hear me out ?”
That didn't budge him to even listen to me. He
threw me on the bed and went to the wardrobe
and took every single clothing he had bought
for me and went to the bathroom. He put them
inside the bathtub and he went to take scissors.
He started cutting the shoes and went to the
clothes before he bleached everything.

“Ziyakufebisa lezingubo , zikwenza isfebe

mmmh ( these clothes are the clothes that turn
you into. Whore)”
He dropped the scissors and slapped me. I
screamed and he held my neck tightly.

“Sakhile! ”

He let go of my neck and I breathed out. He

pulled me from the bathroom and pushed me
into the bedroom.

“Take off my clothes ” he said. I did as I was

told why crying.

“Sak...”

“Voetsek Slindo khumula man ! (take off!)”

I took off the clothes and he took even the

underwear.
“Xola Sakhile ( Forgive Sakhile)”

“I should forgive you for cheating on me ? ”

“You... you have cheated multiple times but i

forgave you I have ...” he grabbed my hair

“Dont test me Slindo, don't even you failed as a

wife to me. Your nurse friend is far better , You
are not a wife , you are a disgrace ! ” I held my
chest as he kept on kicking me and saying
those harsh things.

I felt numb there on the floor the whole time ,

he tied me to the bed before he left. He locked
me up inside the bedroom and went off. I cried
at that moment. I don't want to be here , I don't
know where he is going and I don't know what
he will do when he comes back.
_________
I am shaking from the coldness , nothing to
protect me from the coldness for the past few
days. It's been three days of him leaving. I
could feel my weak body giving up on me, and
all I have been praying for is for God to save me
and give me more strength to conquer. If I have
to die it's nothing way and not leaving my kids
alone. My kids , I miss them so much at the
moment. I close my eyes as I cry. The door
opens and she peaks her head in holding a jug.
I feel hurt more than I should hate her.

“Mngani( friend )” she walks inside. I looked at

her as she came around.

“Ungangibizi leyonyo wena nyoka ( don't call

me that you snake)”

“Sakhile said I should untie you. He is coming

back ”

She does that and my body is aching.

“What did he do to you ?” she says.

“What do you think your boyfriend did , why

don't you ask him ?”

“I am trying to help ”

“Shut up. You would help me by shutting up ”

She kept quiet. She gave me the jug.

“Here is water ” I took the jug and I looked at

her before drinking it and gave it to her. She
drank some.

“To see that I didn't do anything to it ” she says.

I keep quiet.

“I am sorry Slindo ”

There was a knock on the door.

“Let get it ”

She went off and I could hear people speaking.

They both come back and he places the take
away on the bed.

“Sthandwa Sam unjani ? ( How are you my love

?)” I looked at him.

“Babe let's just get her prepared with a bath so

she could eat. What did she do ? ” Asiphe asks.
His mistress .

“She cheated on me, leave us ” She swallowed

and went out of the room.

“I am calmed down now. Why did you cheat on

me ? Don't I give you enough ? ” he asks. The
same questions I asked myself and still ask
myself Everytime.

“You know the answer ”

“Dont be smart with me Slindokuhle”

“Ok ” he huffed.

“I have booked a spa treatment for you to relax

” I looked at him.

“I want my grandmother. My kids ”

“The kids are coming this side ” he said.

“At what time ? ”

“Noon” I nodded.

He kissed my cheek.

“Behave yourself ” I nodded as he walked out.

Tears streamed down my cheeks.

I went to bath and then eat. I went back to the

bedroom and I looked inside my bag and went
to the kids room. They have left. He is going to
drop her off that is what I know. I packed their
clothes and some of their toys. I was crying at
the same time. It's hard but I can't live like this
anymore. I called ina cab and it said it would
be here soon. I get done backing for the kids
and I sit on Samkelo's bed and I just cry while
laying on it. It's difficult but I have to put my
kids first. They can't go through such trauma.
They need me more than ever and I can't be
there for them when I am dead one day.
“God forgive me ” I said
____________
We get out. I feel happy to see them and now
that they are with me. I take their things and I
pay the driver before we walk inside the yard.
My grandmother is sitting on the stoep. I reach
her and dropped the bags and just went on my
knees crying on her arms. She didn't say
anything but hugged me.

“Shh phephisa Mntanami. Ngibonga

uNkulunkulu ukuthi usaphila nabazukulu.
Kuzolunga ( I am sorry my child . I thank God
that you are alive with my grandchildren. It
will be ok )”her arms soothed me.

“Angisakwazi. Ngihlulekile ngizamile ( I can't

anymore. I failed when I tried. )”

“I love you ” she says.

“i love you too” she kisses my salty lips covered

with my tears. I wipe them and moved from
her.

“Come my kids and eat some peaches with

granny ” they sit next to her.
“Go and rest ” I nodded and went inside.

I got in the bedroom we will use and I put their

bags down before I got on the bed and cried. Is
it bad that I still love him ? Feel like I deserved
what he did to me ? I wronged him on the most
cruel way but I couldn't anymore. His words
rang in my head and it shows there was
nothing left anymore. I just have to let him go
at this point but why does it seem hard ?
__________
I had no one to lean on anymore but myself and
my kids are looking up to me. It has been a
month since I left Sakhile. It seems like it's the
best thing I did but at times I felt like going back
and resolving issues because it's hard being
without him. I have been so depending on him
that I can't depend on myself easily. My
grandmother's friend. MaZondi got me into a
nursing program. I am happy because I don't
have to pay but they pay us between R2000-
R3000 for our school things . I have only two
years left with nursing before I could finish. I
would've finished a long time ago if I didn't stop
because of Sakhile. I am starting to realize how
toxic my marriage is but it's hard letting go of
the love I have for him. I have filed a divorce in
the process and it has already been sent.

We are washing the blankets this morning and

they are in their underwear playing with the
washing water. It's so good to see my kids
happy , all three of them. Their father hasn't
called or checked if they are fine and I am heart
broken for them but I will let him be so I could
have my own peace. It's going to be a struggle
but I will struggle through. I even had to
change their schools so the costs can be cut. I
can't afford taking them where Sakhile was
paying.

“Nizongenwa umkhuhlane ( You will get sick )”

my grandmother says as she walks out with
some more soap. I keep on washing the
blankets.

They don't care of they will get sick or not from

the amount of giggles seems so. I smile as she
sits next to me.

“How are you feeling today ? ” she asks.

“Better, lighter ”

“There is a prayer meeting I am going to. We

should go together”

“I have to stay with the kids ” I say.

“What did he do to you ?” she asked.

“I can't say. I want to move on ” she nodded as I
felt tears prickling my eyes.

“Mkhulu ! ” the kids scream in unison.

My grandmother and I watch the car as

Sakhile's father gets out of the car. Sakhile
follows and my heart beats faster.

“I will be inside ” I stood up.

“Slindo ” she called me but Ignored her.

I went to the kitchen and drank some water. My

hands were shaking. He broke me , He
damaged me so that I can't recover from that
and he comes back. He is here to cause more
pain. I hear them talking and my grandmother
speaking the most with Bab'Ndlovu. I don't
move from where I was .

“Mama buka ( Mama look)” it was Linathi. I

picked her tiny self up and I kissed her cheek.
She reminds me so much of Owami. She does
look like her a bit.

She showed me a R100 note

“Where did you get it ?”

She pointed at the lounge. I put her down and
she ran while wobbling on her way out to
where the others are playing with water.

“Slindokuhle ! ” I huff and I take another glass

and I drink it down. I need something stronger
honestly. I walk out.

“Sanibonani( Hello)”

“How are you Ndodakazi?”

“I am okay baba. How are you ?”

“I am well as well ” he says with a smile.

“Sakhile recieved these yesterday ”

He placed the envelope on the table. I know it's

the divorce papers.

“I am not changing my mind Baba. ”

“Slindo ....” Sakhile said.

“No... I can't stay where I constantly cry . I tried

baba , ngizamile ukubekezela kodwa
akuvumanga. ( I tried to be Patient but it didn't
work )” I say with tears prickling my eyes.
“I understand your happiness and peace is my
first priority. I may be Sakhile's father but you
are my daughter as well ” I nod.

“Sakhile sign the papers”

“You really want to do this Slindo ?” his

question wasn't pleasing. He wasn't happy with
any of this.

“Yes , I just want the kids Nothing else ”he took

out a pen and the papers and signed them.

“Fine ” he pushed the papers towards me.

“money for maintaining the kids will be sent

every month ”

“No baba , I don't know if they are mine.

Samkelo is mine, I am taking him ”

“Sakhile please don't do that. ” I don't care what

he says but he can't seperate them.

“I am his father Slindo. ”

Tears streamed down my cheeks and I went on

my knees.
“Sakhile let her be ”

“Not with the child I am sure is mine. No baba !

She should keep her kids if she wants to ” I felt
my heart aching.

“Sakhile please”

“Samkelo ! ” he walked out.

“I will talk to him. ”

“Ok” my grandmother said. Baba said his good

byes and left as well. I walked outside and they
took him away just like that. My two babies
standing by the gate looking confused on the
matter. I went on my knees and cry.

“Shhh”my grandmother says

“Kubuhlungu Gogo ...Ungizwisa ubuhlungu ( It

hurts ..he is making me feel pain)”

“It will pass. It will be ok. You will have him

back ” it will be hard fighting for him. I have no
stable income and he's father will not go down
without a fight that I know.
CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT.

“Mr Ndlovu ”

She lowers her glasses a bit and looks at us. The

both of us. Here we are again, after years we
are in the same position just different cases and
times. I don't want anything from him just
Samkelo that's all, I have been crying myself to
sleep wondering if he is ok. I don't want him
near any of Sakhile's floozies, he needs his
mother. He needs me , I need him. Sakhile is
really torturing me at the moment and he
doesn't care !

“Your honour ”he says

There is silence. The case commenced. It was a

tough one that we had to take a tea break while
at it. I could see my baby being held by that
witch and I wanted him in my arms right this
moment. Zabelo and Linathi are with my
grandmother. I am alone here today and I need
to get used to that , that I don't have Nosi
anymore who used to fight for my battles all the
time regarding Sakhile. I went towards the
both of them.

“Mama ” Samkelo jumped off her lap and came

to me.
“Samkelo buya lah manje !( Come back here
now )”

I went on my knees and I hugged him.

“Leave the child , he is not yours” Asiphe says

I break the hug and tears stream down my

cheeks.

“uMama uyamthanda yezwa ?( mama loves you

ok ?)” he nods. Sakhile comes and takes him
away from me. I stood up.

“Why are you doing this Sakhile ?”

“Slindokuhle you are wasting your time here ”

“Shut up ! I am not talking to you. Don't get

involved ”

My breathing patterns change.

“You wanted to walk away Slindo. Walk away

then ” Sakhile says and they walk away. I sob .
__________
We went back inside the court room and the
commenced. I got sicker and sicker looking at
her touching him, I came here with hope that i
would walk away with Samkelo but I didn't. I
didn't have a lawyer like Sakhile, I had no
defense team beside me but myself. All I got
was visiting rights. The case was dismissed
after and we all walked out.

“He will treats you like he treated me. ” I say as

soon as I walked out.

“We are different sweety ”she says with

confidence.

“Ask him who Pamela is, He will never change.

He is always a cheat ”

“Thats enough !” Sakhile says.

I walked off , I can't believe I loved that man ! I

can't believe that still I can't get over him and it
hurts me but I don't want anything to do with
him. I put my bag under my arms as I walk out
of the court house and go onto the road. I feel a
lump choking me on my throat.

I went past Kfc and I sat down just to have some

ice cream. I feel bad that I am having this
without my kids, My kids. Sakhile knows how
much 3 of them mean to me yet he is taking
Samkelo away from me. My phone rings and I
take it out. It's a number I don't know but I
don't answer it , instead I out my phone away
after switching it off. I carry on with
comforting myself.
I stand up and I go to Shoprite next door and I
go and buy some wine. I take some brandy as
well, I need something to numb the pain for a
moment. I pay and guilt doesn't consume me
like when I had ice cream. I get a tub of ice
cream and some chips for the kids as well to
ease my guilt. The cashier pops her gum and
puts the things in the plastic. I pay and walk
away once I am done. I went to catch a taxi
home.
___________
“Just a little bit more and then you are done.
How are you feeling ?” She asks me. We are
folding the hospital towels on that matter. I feel
good today , actually better but I do get those
days where I break down and fin comfort in
alcohol.

My grandmother just lets me be at the moment

so I can grieve in my own way. She just doesn't
understand Sakhile like how I do. It's good that
I haven't seen him in just these past few weeks
and I am happy and content with that. My kids
make me happy as well. I enrolled them in a
cheap creche in town and my grandmother
applied for some grunt for them. We are
managing as ok as possible.
“I can't wait to work, Honestly ” I don't think i
would've finished school and work while
married to Sakhile. In a way he held me back
from achieving my dreams in the process. I
became a house wife and a pleaser at such a
young age .

“Let me take those away” she took the towels

away and walked off.

“I am leaving you then. It's my knock off time ”

I say

“Bye Honey ” she says. We work together that's

all. I go and get my bag.

“My Mother's daughter ”

“Oh please don't fall for his charms Slindo. ”

the female nurse says and I laugh. We are all
walking out together.

“I wont. I am fine thank you ”

”You are messing up for me wena ” he pointed

at her.

“This Friday we are going to Lunch. Are you

coming ? ” she asks me.
“I have kids. I can't ” budget is tight to be taking
myself out.

“I would've liked for you to come Slindo ” he

says and I ignore him.

We walk out of the hospital chatting about

general stuff and some work related going to
catch a taxi. I have to start in town and fetch
the kids before we go home. They are not used
to it but they are starting to get into the idea. I
mean they are young so they understand easily.

“Sanibonani ( Hello)” we stopped walking. Oh

God can't I have some peace in my life.

“Heyy! ” the one next to me says and starts

touching her soft dread. He looks at me.

“Can I speak to you ?” he says to me and they

are looking at me.

“Is he your boyfriend oe ? Hayi unayo boh

indoda ( You have a man )”

“No he, is not. You can take him. Guys you can
carry on ngiyeza( i am coming )”

They nod before walking away heading

towards the mall so tht can catch a taxi. I fold
my arms.

“I am sorry ” he says.

“What are you sorry about ?Getting drunk and

declaring your undying love for me Infront of
my ex husband , the whole world ! ”
I breathe in and out.

“Its messed up of me to do what I did. I am

sorry Slindo...”

“I forgive you. Somehow it was a wake up call

for me to try and let go but that doesn't mean
anything. I actually don't want anything that
has to do with you or the entire Ndlovu Family
except for Samkelo.”

I turn around and he holds my arm.

“Nazo let me go ”

“You told me to stay away , My brain told me to

stay away but I always come back why Slindo?
It's because I Love you can't you see that !?”

“I don't want any relationship , I don't want to

get into something with anyone from your
family. Your cousin damaged me so I can't love
and trust another man. Let go of that love Nazo
because it's going to hurt you. ”

He kept quiet and placed his hands in his

pocket.

“FINE ”

He clenched his jaws, his eyes were a bit glossy

but he looked away. I felt bad but really he
should.

“I am sorry”

“Bye ” he says.

“Bye ” he comes closer and kisses my forehead.

I close my eyes and close my eyes. I feel my
forehead getting worse and i didn't say
anything.

“I love you Slindo ”

“Bye Nazo” I got away from his hold and left

him there. I turned and he was leaning against
his car with his forehead on the bonnet. I
didn't look back after that.

I got the kids from school and they were happy

to see me. I was happy too. We went through
busy town just so we could get to the taxi rank.
I went to KFC and bought little burgers for them
before we went to the rank. My phone rang
and I took it out as we got in the taxi.

“Mah ”

“When are you getting here ? It's almost dark

Slindokuhle ” my grandmother says.

“We are on our way ”

“the street lights shouldn't meet you ”

“I will be there now now. ”

“Ok. ”

She hung up. The taxi got full in no time and it

drove off going home. I could see Zabelo was
getting a bit sleepy while the taxi moved. I
placed him on my lap so he could sleep. We got
home in no time and Linathi went to hug my
grandmother who was watching tv.

“They look tired. How was your day ?” I put my

bag on the couch.

“It was ok ” I went to place Zabelo before I went

to change from my uniform and then I went to
dish up for myself.

“Is Samkelo coming this weekend? ”

“I asked Bab'Ndlovu and he said he will ”

“Slindo tell me something about Samkelo ”

“Gogo please. ” she nodded. He is my son , no

one can tell me that he is not.

“I have to go and study ” she nods as I stand up

and leave her.

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

The blazing sun is nice on a day off like this ,

the traveling up and down everyday to " School/
Work”. Samkelo is coming soon and i am happy
that he is coming. My son Jehovah I missed him
so very much. I am sitting under a tree with
Amahle. She still lives around here but partly
not all the time. She is at her new boyfriend's
house most of the time. She reminds me of
Nosi. We are having ice blocks while at it and I
am watching the kids playing the bathing basin
with water with her Daughter as well who is a
year older than them.

“I don't know you anymore , you have been

gone for so long ” she says

“Eyi , it has been. I am glad to be back. Home

is where the heart is ”

“So tell me more”

I sigh. I have been venting on her about what

went down in my marriage and she is
understanding

“Ngahlukumezeka oe. Yazi into ehlekisayo

ukuthi angizange ngambona njengomuntu
omubi kakhulu ngoba Uthando lwam
lwalungivala amhlo ( I was not ok. You know
the funny thing is I have never seen him as a
bad person that much because of the love I had
for him blinded me )”i say then suck on the ice.

“You did well my friend. Gogo wouldn't live

without you gone as well” Gogo, the only person
who I am left with. I am happy that God has
still kept her when I need her.

“Yah neh”

My phone rang and I took it from between my

thighs and I looked at it. I answered the call.

“Hello ”

“Ndodakazi” I sat up straight.

“Bab'ndlovu , are you well?”

“I have news my child ” Oh my god. My heart

starts beating fast .

“Is it Samkelo?” I stand up.

“Their grandmother passed on last night. ”

“Oh , I am sorry baba. My deepest condolences”

“Thank you , she was old ”she really was.

“Will the kids be coming to Msinga for the

funeral ?”

“I don't want to impose Sakhile. He wouldn't

want them there ”

“They are family. Please bring them ”

“Baba ...”
“I will see you Slindokuhle ”

“Uhm yes ” I sighed. I don't want to go. He

hung up

I says down and huffed. I thought I am done

with this family honestly.

“Whats wrong ?”

“Sakhile's grandmother passed on ”

“Oh sorry”

“We have to go to the funeral they want the

kids ”

She looks at me.

“Dont worry. You will get through this ”

I nod and look at the kids playing.

“Tell you what , Let's go to the mall ,and get an

outfit you will rock at the funeral with your
nunuberries so he can see you that you don't
need him, maybe you can hook his father ” she
said.
“Ewwuu No ”

“Weh , give his father to me then ” I shook my

head.

“I dont have money for the outfits and all. ”

“I have R5000 from my man. We can spoil

ourselves. ”

“What does he do ?” she shrugged and seems

like it doesn't bother her that she doesn't know
what her man does.

“ok” I say. She hugs me.

“Go and bath so we can go to town then the

mall” she seems more excited than I am.
__________
I got ready and changed. I wore a dress with
Sandals as I left carrying my bag. My
grandmother was ok with me going out with
Amahle , as long as I come back safe and sound.
We caught a taxi and why to town. She bought
extensions and said she will braid my hair
during the week. She will come over and sleep
over one of the nights just to do it. I think this
one will get me a new man in the process. That
is where she is heading. We finally went to the
mall from then on and we took some pictures.
She posted them on Facebook and we look quiet
cute if I may add. The stores we entered.
Started with Akarmans with buying the little
outfits for my two babies and went to get a
black outfit for me as well. After one we got
some accessories and went to eat after that little
shopping . We settled down at Nandos.

“Thank you for this Mahle. You didn't have to ”

I say

“Ofcause I had to. We have to show those

people you are up here and they are down here.
They didn't bring you some a bit Queen” I
laughed a bit.

“Where are you taken from ?” I shake my head.

Her phone rings as we wait for our order. She

took it out of her bag and she answered the
phone call.

“Baby ”

She kept quiet. I drank my cold drink and I

went through my phone .

“No, I am with Slindo at the mall ”

She looked at me smiling. Why am I being

mentioned ?

“We are at Nandos ordering. Mmmh ok Izani ke

( come then )”

She hung up.

“Mahle”

“My boyfriend and his two friends are coming.

”

“Amahle Zikhali ”

“Relax Mngani. Enjoy , you are only 20

something once ” she raised her glass.

This one is definitely a second version of Nosi.

We chatted and i was really having a good time.
The notifications kept on coming in as I have
posted.Sane commented on that tip and I smile.
I still like her and she is a nice person. We can
be friends but friendships haven't been for me
really
.
“Babe”

I placed my phone down and look at these

men. Their aura is not a good one and so as how
they look , if I am not mistaken imigulukudu nje
laba ( They are thugs )Far worse with alot of
tattoos on them. Amahle stood up and hugged
the man who has a nose ring before they shared
a kiss. It's the boyfriend that I can see. I want
to go home now before I could even finish this
food right here Infront of me.

“Baby this is my friend Slindokuhle. Slindo this

is my boyfriend and his friends”

He stretches his hand.

“Nice to meet you ”

“Same here ”

They all sat down. They had a conversation

between them and by the way they talk I have
picked up that they are definitely for the streets
, they order some food and we are almost done
with ours. The one next to me tries to make a
conversation but I am too scared to even
engage properly. I just want to be gone home ! I
check the time and look at Amahle.

“I have to go ” I say to her

“We will go together.” I am defeated.

I stay at that tip and I drink my drink as well. I

get busy on my phone a bit just to distract
myself but nothing is interesting me at the
moment. My phone rings and I look at the
number. I don't know it but it might be my
saving grace at this moment. I stand up.

“Excuse me ” I walk away a bit while answering

it.

“Hello”

“I am at the parking lot”the call got cut. I didn't

waste anytime because these people are
creeping me out. I walk back inside.
“I have organised transport for you to the
funeral. One of the guys will take you ” Amahle
says as soon as I walk in. I grab my bag.

“I have to go” I grab the plastics as well before

she could say anything. I am out in a flash going
out of the mall . The parking lot is huge but I
manage to locate the car and I get inside.

He will take you home and you will be safe and

sound. Silence consumed the whole car , no one
is saying anything to anyone at the moment. I
look at him and he doesn't look happy at all,
more angry than anything. He starts the car and
I buckled up . He reverses out. I don't know
how he found me but I am glad he got me out of
that situation.
“Slindokuhle ” he says after a long silence. Spur
take away by my legs. I move it to the back.

I look at him.

“You saw that Sakhile wasn't enough you

needed more action and hand yourself to death
on a silver platter ? ”

I am silent.

“I am fucken talking Slindo !” he is angry.

“I am sorry ” I say softly.

“Do you know those men ? Do you know... What

they are capable of ? ”

“I don't know them. They know my friend ” I

say

“Oh you are friends with criminals now ?”

“I get your point. Can we stop this please? I

want to get home ”

“I am disappointed in you. You need to have a

good choice of friends and don't keep them
close to the kids Slindo ”

“I won't ” he nods. His face became more calm.

“Thank you for ....”

“i was going to carry you out of that place

screaming if you didn't come ”

“Do you know them ? ”

“i know alot of people and your friend. Isn't safe

as well” I won't ask. I think he knows more than
I can think off.

“i heard about your grandmother. I am sorry”

“Its life ”

I nod my head and concerntrate on the road.

The leather seats are making me feel
comfortable than I should.

“How is school?”

“School is ok”

“The kids”
“I miss Samkelo”

“I know how much you love him ”

I kept quiet. I closed my eyes and breathed out.

“Can't I be locked up and a place where

happiness only exists ?”

“No”

I opened my eyes and looked at him.

“You create happiness ”

“How?”

He was silent

“Focus on things that make you happy , the kids

, School and yourself. You should make yourself
happy”

“Mmmh ”

He kept his silence. He kept on driving.

“I need to make a quick stop somewhere. ”

“You an drop me in town ”

“No , I will take you home ” I can't argue with

him. I am just drained. He passed by
somewhere and I waited for him in the car. His
phone rang and I looked at it and looked away.

He came back inside and took his phone.

“You could've answered it ”

“Its your personal space. ”

He smiled. He started the car and drives off. He

plays some soft music.

“Your mother....” I stopped myself from asking

the question.

“I don't know her , All I know is that my dad

had some sort of short relationship with her
while he was a taxi driver. ”

“Don't you ever want to know her?”

“No, My father is enough” I nodded.

“You ?”
I looked at him.

“She is married.” he nods

“You get along?”

“We are not close”

“I see ”

There was silence again.

“Slindo”

“Mmmh”

“I will still wait ”

“Nazo” I sighed.

We both kept quiet. He drives home and he

parks just a few houses away.

“Thank you for taking me home ”

“Pleasure. ”

I got out and closed the door made my way

inside.
_________
The day of the funeral came. Transport was
arranged for me. It was a very foul mood for
everyone and i kept my distance from Sakhile
and so as him with his girlfriend. We burried
his grandmother and I couldn't wait to leave so
soon. Baba came to me and the kids after the
funeral.

“Its good to see you Ndodakazi”

He takes Linathi into his arms.

“She reminds me of Owami” he says. She does

look like her

“Yes”

“everything will be ok”

I believe so too.

CHAPTER THIRTY

Time heals all wounds and we learn to live with

the pain of loosing people in our lives,We learn
the hard way if not the easy way. We pick
ourselves up at the end of the day because no
one will ever do that for us. The ones around
us are there to comfort us and hold our hands
to help up stand but then we walk out own road
again after falling.
It has been an a great year of healing, I am still
in the process of healing but now I am in a
better place. Much better mentally, Emotionally
and spiritually strong to be able to take care of
my kids. Samkelo is now living with us. Nazo, I
have tried distancing myself from him and his
family but he always pops up when I need him.
I guess I should say thank you to him because if
it wasn't for him ,Samkelo would be still
mistreated in the hands of Sakhile's mistress.
After that incident I took Sakhile to court and it
favoured me this time. I got my son back and
Sakhile didn't get any visiting rights. Not that he
cared or that I wanted him anywhere near my
children. My children and my grandmother are
the only things that kept me going for so long.

I have just got off from the hospital and I am in

town. Today is Zabelo's birthday and I want to
pass by Pick n pay so I can buy cake for him
and some chips and cold drink to celebrate. It's
not like any of the other years where they could
have a big party to celebrate, this is our life
style. An intimate one and I am glad that
Samkelo is used to it way before his father and I
broke up. I get the necessary things and I go to
the till. I pay for everything and I go to catch a
taxi back home after that.
______
“Mama”

They shouted as soon as I walked inside the

house holding plastics full of the treats. I went
to the kitchen as they followed me and I placed
everything down before I turned to kiss them
and hug my little bunnies.

“How is mama's bunny?”

I pulled Zabelo to me and kissed him all over.

Linathi wasn't happy with Zabelo getting all the
kisses and I kissed her as well as she giggled.
These sounds are worth living for. They are my
life. I did the same as well to Samkelo.

“Oh you are back” my grandmother says while

walking in. It's the holidays so they are home. I
stood up.

“Yeah. I went past town and bought cake for

Zabelo's birthday ” she smiles

”That' wonderful, let me get the plates ”

I nod, she gets them and then I tell the kids to go

and sit down at the lounge. I lit up the candle I
bought yesterday and I take the cake to the
lounge. Zabelo starts clapping his hands as we
sing happy birthday for him. He blows it out by
the help of his siblings and he can't stop
laughing at anything Infront of him. He is
happy and that makes me happy as a mother as
well. I made the best decision by putting them
first more than anything.
“Amahle bought this for Zabelo”
My grandmother came back with the present. I
am still friends with Amahle and Sane as well.
We are very close the 3 of us it's just that I told
Amahle I am uncomfortable with her boyfriend
and his friends. She has sustained a few
beating from her boyfriend in the past and I
don't know why she doesn't leave him. It must
be hard as well.
“Its so generous of her. ”
It was clothes for Zabelo. A cap and flip-flops
with a top and short.
“it will suite him ”
“Definitly. I have to call her later and thank her
”
We eat the cake and I later on called Amahle
just to thank her. I trust her because of her
mother, that is why I do. I later on bathed all of
them and slowly one by one they were getting
sleepy. They went to sleep after the news and I
went to tuck them in my room and went to
wash the dishes.
____________
She looks at me and looks at her note pad and
she puts it away and takes off her glasses. We
are in a room. A room where everyone meets
up to speak about their problems , women come
forth and speak about their fair share of life.
Amahle told me about this organization that
offers counseling for anyone who needs it , I
had just started a few months ago. I thought
that maybe talking to other woman would also
help me but I don't like ironing my business out
, instead they accomodated me and I have a one
on one with the lady Infront of me.
She folds her legs and pulls her dress down just
to cover her thighs. I speak without any hassle
now than I did before. I know that I am in a safe
space to express myself.
“So what do you want to tell me today?” she
smiles.
“I don't know ” I say looking back at her.
The open dull room with just space seperating
us as we are on black plastic chairs. She puts
her leg down and fold her arms.
“Tell me about you now, we have covered your
marriage ”
“I am a mother of 7 kids. 3 I have miscarried
and my first daughter died from brain cancer”
“You acknowledge all of the children you have
carried?”
“yes. Living or dead” I say. Realising how many
kids I would have right now if they all didn't die
with one man.
“Are they all your ex husband's kids?” I nod.
“How are you feeling ?”
“At peace, happy. I am just a few months away
before I graduate”
“You must be excited”
“I am ”
“The cousin...” she says.
“When was the last time you spoke to him or
seen him?”
“It has been a while”
“If your ex husband was here. What would you
say to him ?”
“I forgive him. Only for me to move on from
him”
She nods.
“And the cousin, what would you say to him ?”
I kept quiet.
“I would thank him ”
“Why thank him?”
“If it weren't for him I would be still stuck in my
marriage, admitted in a mental institution and I
wouldn't have my son back.”
She nods.
“I think that's all for today”
I nod at her and get my bag from the floor.
“Welcome”she said and I looked behind me.
He walked in slowly towards us, I stay rooted in
the chair.
“I didn't mean to intrude” he says
“You may take a seat” she says
He grabs a chair and sits next to me.
“How can I help you?”
“I need someone to talk to ” he says.
“You see, I have been in love with this woman
for so long ...” he says.
“Does she love you back?”
“I don't know ”
“You think it's a crush ?”
“No..it's not ” he says.
“I think you have those answers” she says.
He nods.
“That is all ”
I stand up immediately and I walked out of the
place. I walk out of the gate and I went onto the
street and kept on walking to where the stop is
so I can take a taxi home. My phone pings and I
take it out and I look at it before I shove it
inside my bag. I pull my braids away from my
face so I could see the way. His car stops ahead
of me and he gets out and I reach him as he is
standing in my way. We are both silent while
looking at each other he sighs before he holds
my waist and kisses my lips. I melt , I hold onto
his arms and moan softly as he pulls me closer
to him. He breaks it off slowly and brushes my
cheek with his thumb looks at me and kisses my
forehead once more and pulls me in a warming
hug. I am holding on when I should be letting
go of him. I am laying my head on his chest
when I should be walking away,It's crazy how
he never gave up when he should've given up.
“Nazo ” I say softly.
“Slie”
“It could never...”he interrupt me.
“I don't care about anyone. I know how I feel
and it's too heavy and strong for me to just
throw it away” he says.
I am silent. He lets go of me and looks at me.
He goes around his car and opens the door to
the other side. I sigh and I go towards him and
I get inside. He closes the door and he goes
around and he gets inside before he drives off.
We are both silent, I look at him. I don't know.
____________
I am looking out onto the balcony. I feel him
holding my waist and lays a soft perk on my
neck, I shiver and feel Tingles at the same time.
Much stronger than before.
“Do you believe in Fate?” he says and I turn
around and face him.
How I ended up here in Durban in this room is
unknown. Well I know and saw the car driving
with me but I didn't say anything. I knew he
wasn't kidnapping me or anything like that.
“No” I say.
“I do” I nod.
“Are you hungry?” I feel guilty I am here about
to eat nice food when my babies ...argh I will be
guilty later. I am hungry.
“Yes”
He goes inside the suite and he rings room
service. I sit on the bed and watch him. He is
shirtless only wearing the jeans and his shoes
are no where to be seen. So as mine, even my
coat. I am wearing his shirt like a dress as it's
very hot here than where we are coming from.
It is cold that side. I take time to look at him.
He is tall , Dark ,handsome ? Definitely ticks off
those boxes. He is swift as well, does his things
with ease. The way he talks , bites his lips every
now and then. Oh he is thinking. He does that
when he thinks I guess,I am lost while looking
at him and I don't hear him speak to me until
he repeats it.
“Mmmh ?”
“What are you going to drink?”
“Wine ” I say and he carries on. I look at him
till he is done and comes to the bed.
“Your stare was intense”he says
“Oh I am sorry”
He looks at me and smiles.
“What?”
“Nothing. I am sorry for everything”
“Don't say sorry for something you didn't do ”
He pulls me to him and kisses my lips. I
respond to it as well, he holds my waist and my
thighs are exposed. My hand goes to his chest
and moves down along and so as his hand
rubbing my thigh. His hand reached my
underwear and he went to my butt and slightly
squeezed it as I gasped a bit. The tension was
alot. It was too much for me as well. My hand
went to his pants and undid them. He broke
the kiss , I was feeling wet.
“Food might come anytime ”
“I need the bathroom ”i say and he nods then
perks my lips.
I get off the bed and I go to the bathroom. What
is happening ? We are kissing and kissing and
touching and almost had sex but I don't know
what we are doing. I sit on the toilet, think
Slindo think. I fix myself and I take off my
underwear as it is quiet wet. I wash it and I
hang it. I will take it when we leave. I walk out
and the food has came. I jump into taking the
wine and I open it and pour some for me and
place it back.
“This looks nice” I say
I indulge in the food and wine at the same time.
I stop and look at him and he is looking at me.
“Something wrong ?” I gulp the wine
“Nothing ” he cleared his throat.
I put the glass down and get on the bed.
“We are being awkward about this ” I say and
we are silent.
“I wish you weren't his cousin ” I say
“Does it matter?”
“Nazo it does. What will people say? ”
“I don't care what people say and neither
should you”
He lays me down and hovers over me and I out
my hands on his shoulders.
“I love you” he says before smashing his lips
I am aroased once more and it's worse this
time. He wants to pull back again but I lock him
with my legs.
“I will give us a chance. ”
“You are in a good space ?” he asks.
“Yes, I am in a better space” he smiles
“Thank you” atleast I know what to expect now
and when to leave.
__________
I hold him closer than I have ever before. I hold
him tighter and my breathing hinched than
before. My hand goes to his head and holds it
while he kisses my neck. My toes curl to each
thrust I feel like I am reaching the edge. He
hasn't went as deep as he can go but I want him
to. I want to feel it in my womb and in me that
he is here and I am not cheating but actually
now offically his girlfriend. My boyfriend ,
those words I only told myself last year that I
don't want to be involved in and get here I am.
Nazo has always found ways to bring new
feelings to my body , the way he touches and
handles it gives me life.
“Aaahh baby” I moan softly.
“Mmmh fuck !” he curses. It's the 3rd round yet
I don't want us to stop.
“I love you” he says. It feel right , good all in
one .
“Please go deeper. ” I whisper by his ear and he
does , I explode rather too quickly and he pulls
out.
I am shaking , my legs are shaking and he holds
them tightly and he comes and kisses my
forehead. He positions himself again and goes
in once more. I moan out his name softly and
he thrusts slowly in me. Something I have
never felt run through me. He is making love to
me , that is I know.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

The most important rules are Self love, self

worth but mostly being happy . Is the place that
you are in bringing positive impact In your life.
Those are the aspects I have taken and
evaluated into my life. My relationship between
my children is very wonderful, I am trying to be
the best present mother in their life. I didn't
have both of my parents in my life but my
grandmother filled that space and so I will do
the same for mine, Speaking of relationships
let's hop into my new romantic relationship. I
feel like a new born baby, we are taking our
pace. Right after offically being in this
relationship we went into family planning and
did some tests as well and everything was all
clear. Sakhile could've long infected me if he
had contracted any diseases and I wonder if it's
really God's grace. It's just a few days but
everything is going well so far, I don't want to
jinx anything so I won't say much on that
matter.

I walked into the kitchen. In a few days I am

writting a test and that is why I am home today.
The kids are asleep but I will wake them up
later to take a bath ,Amahle said she will get a
suitable Transport for the kids around the area
for when they go to school. That will be very
helpful. My grandmother is making steam
bread with beans today , the sun is out and it's
the perfect day in her defense. I sit down
opposite her. Why am I here ? I want to lay
down the Nazo and I Situation to her before
everything gets out of hand. I know she will not
be happy , he is a Ndlovu and Sakhile's cousin
to make matters worse.

“Stop looking at me and say what you want to

say ” she says. I sigh.

“I want us to talk”
“We are talking ”
“I am seeing someone ”
“Is it Sakhile ?”
“Gogo ! ” I frown.
“Sothini , ubungave umthanda ( What am I
going to say , You love him)”
“I loved him ”
She looked at me.
“Who is he ?”
“His name is Snazozonke”
“You almost got me there for a second ”she says
while kneeding
“I was thinking , maybe afike umbone ( that he
comes and you see him )”
“That would be wonderful”
I nod.
“I will tell him then ”
“Where is he from?”
“He lives in Durban”
“Ok”

I walked out quickly , my heart was beating

very fast , I am actually scared of how my
grandmother will react to Nazo. I went to my
room and took my phone and made my way
outside. I dialed the number and it went
through quicker than I expected.

“Themba lam ”
“How are you today ?” I make my way to the
gate and I stand there watching people pass by.
“My days keep on getting better ” I chuckle.
“My grandmother invited you over when you
are not busy. She wants to meet you ”
“How is tomorrow?”
“Thats a bit soon.”
“I want to meet her. I want her to see how
serious I am of her granddaughter ”
“Is it ?”
“Yes, I will come and see you today”
“You saw me yesterday. Durban is not around
the corner ”
“It feels like it ” I laughed.
“I miss you” honestly I miss him too.
“I miss you too” I bite my bottom lip as silence
consumed. It's comfortable silence.
“Nazo...” I kept quiet.
“Talk to me ”
“I will call you later. My grandmother needs me
”
“Slie” he said firmly
“HonestlynI am scared of both of our families.
How they will react to this”
“You want us to break up ” No ..
“No”
“Slindokuhle ... I won't lie , it will be difficult
but we will get through it. I am prepared for
anything and fighting to keep you . ”
“I hear you”
“We can elope to a new country with the kids if
things go left” I laughed.
“You are being dramatic” he chuckled.
“I will fetch you Friday with the kids. Take them
out ”
“They will love that”
“I love you”
“I love you too”
“I will call you later babe”
“Ok”
The call was cut.
___________
I can taste sweeter things bit by bit.
I was very busy this past week. Writting and
also studying at the same time. I want to
graduate and I can't wait to do so. The meet up
is going to be next week. It's Friday and it's all
about the kids. I don't want Sakhile's past
mistakes hold me back from giving Nazo my
full potential as he does. He tries that I won't
crucify him for. His cousin wronged me before
not him. I told my grandmother that the kids
and I are going out. She told me that
Mam'Zikhali is having a little birthday get
together so she is going there. I packed
changing clothes for the kids into a bag. They
are nice and cleaned up and so as myself. Nazo
and I are going to meet in town. I saw that it
will be the most convenient place to meet in.
“Come let's go ” they all jump of the bed. I am
done. Nazo already told me 30 minutes ago that
he was on the road. He might arrive anytime
soon now. They held each other's hands and
we walked out.

“Nisebahle( you all look beautiful )” my

grandmother says.
“We are leaving ”
“Enjoy an becareful. It's dangerous out there”
she says.
“We will be ok. Bye ” we say our good byes and
we walk out.
We catch a taxi that took us to town. They we're
excited. I should take my kids out more even if
it's just the park, make hot dogs and some
snacks. My phone pings and it's a message. He
has arrived and I let him know we are on our
way.
________
We get to town by the city museum which is
next to the Taxi rank. We see Nazo and we get
to him soon enough.
“Yume !” Zabelo is the first to shout.
“Hello ” he crouches and takes the little two in
his arms and starts talking to them.
They are happy to speak whatever comes out
of their mouth first and Linathi overpowers
Zabelo that he stops talking and wants me to
take him. I laugh and take him into my arms.
“You look beautiful ” he says.
“Thank you ” I shy off, he comes and kisses my
forehead.
I have never seen him in shorts before but I am
yet to see more than I know. We get inside his
car and we buckle up. His phone rings and he
answers it.
“Bafo ”
“Mama ” I look at the back.
“Yes baby ?” He smiles after. I laugh while
shaking my head. I love my kids.
“sokhuluma ( we will talk)” he says.
He puts his phone away.
“I am sorry about that ” he says.
“No it's fine , where are we going ?”
He starts the car.
“We will go to a water park.”
“They don't have any swim wear. I just brought
their changing clothes. ”
“We will pass by the store first. Do you have
one ? ” he smirks and looks at me.
“No , I am not prepared to swim. I will dip my
feet in ”
“You don't want to swim with me ? Water can
be fun ”
“We shall see ”
He takes my hand and kisses it before he locks
it in his. We start at the stores and I get the
swim wear for the kids, Nazo pays and we had
a short argument on that. I don't want him to
get used to paying for us. We get to the car and
the kids are buckled up and ready to go while
eating some sweets at the back.
“Slindokuhle ”
I look at him.
“I love taking care of my woman and kids, let
me be on that please. Let's not fight that ”
I kept quiet, he looked at the back.
“Close your eyes kids” I look at the back and
they do close their eyes.
“Ok?” I nod , he perks my lips.
“Usadiniwe?( You are still angry ?)” he asks.
“No , I am fine. I am sorry for being dramatic ”
“I understand you want to be independent and
pay and I respect that but mawunami ( when
you are with me )give me the space to be your
man ”
“Ok , I will ”
“Thank you Thembalam,we can go ”
He started the car. I told the kids to open their
eyes. They are so obedient. He drove to the
water park. We got there and took a few
pictures before we entered. We took the bag
and he locked the car. We went inside and
paid. It wasn't a lot for the entrance fee. We
found a spot and placed our things , food is
bought in here so we will buy it in here. I
changed the kids, as soon as I was done with
changing Samkelo he was gone to play at the
kids slide. I changed Linathi while Nazo
changed Zabelo. We went to change as well
and came back and placed our clothes. We went
to the little pool and it wasn't deep , it almost
reached my ankles just a bit higher. Zabelo and
Linathi wanted the slide as well like Samkelo so
I took them up and Nazo said he will catch them
down there. The joy and happiness in their
screams and we went up to the slide. They
couldn't resist it. I started with Zabelo and let
him through. I waited for him to reach the
bottom before I let Linathi go. It's good to see
your kids this happy. It made me feel happy
and content as a mother. That I am doing a
good job so far by loving them.
We left them to play in the water. It wasn't deep
and they were much safe to play inside , they
later on moved from the water to play games on
the side. We got inside the adults pool. It was
too deep for me to go to the deep side so we
went up to the middle.
“This is nice. Thank you for taking the kids out”
“Its my pleasure” he holds my waist.
“I can't believe you are finally mine ” I nod
while smiling.
He perks my lips and I place my hands around
his shoulders.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

SAKHILE

I park the car on the drive way and I get out

and close the door. I make my way inside the
house and the door opens without any hassle , I
have a slight headache from yesterday as well. I
just want to eat and rest. I get inside and I get to
the lounge and she stands up as soon as I am
inside.
“Where were you?!”
“I am hungry”
I threw my keys on the coffee table and she
placed her hands on her hips.
“I am not your wife and mother. Go make food
for yourself ”
I stopped my tracks and turned.
“What did you say?” she swallowed.
“Where were you?”
“You don't ask me that shit ! ”
“Ah fuck you ke Sakhile ”
I slapped her and she screamed rushing off. I
don't have time for her silly games, I get in the
bedroom and I throw myself on the bed. My
phone rings and it's my father. I groan as I
answer it.
“Gatseni”
“You should be on your shift Sakhile”
“I am tired ”
“I don't care ! You will work for my money, I
want you there as in now driving those taxis
and making the money you threw away back”
He hangs up and I lunch the pillow Infront of
me. I lost 15 Taxi's and dad took the business
back. I have to work myself once again just to
prove that I am cable of taking care of the
business, that's trough me working tireless
hours as a Taxi driver. I look up to the ceiling
and I breathe out before looking at the door.
The moment I walked through the main door
Slindo would've asked me if she could dish up
for me. The house already warm and ready for
me to relax in from a stressful day or week
away. A bath before or after I eat so I can
release the tension. Everything was in order
everyday I came home. I miss her honestly,
they say you don't know a real gem till you
loose one. I go to Facebook just to check how
she is. I get there and she looks beautiful. I miss
my wife so much at the moment and I made the
wrong decision by letting her go.
I scroll through my phone and I get to her
contacts. I hope she still uses this number. I
dial and it rings a couple of times before it is
answered , I hear her giggling sounds and also
joyful screams in the background.

“Hello” she says.

I am silent for a moment. For the first time I
don't know what to say to her.
“Hello...Zabelo stop running you will fall”
“Yan jaha uSamelo mama ( Samkelo is chasing
me Mommy)” I hear his little voice and it
“Samkelo he is going to fall”
I hang up after that. The door opens and She
walks inside.
“Get out of my house”
“What ?! I deserve to be here after the bullshit
you out me through ”
“Asiphe , let's not argue unless you want to
leave in a body bag ”
I get off the bed and rush to the bathroom. I
need to go to sweetwater and get my woman
back.

SLINDO

I had to make them drink allergex so they could

rest a bit, I warned Nazo not to get them alot of
sweets but they kept coming back for more and
more and I am the one who has to handle them
alone. My grandmother walks in the kitchen as
I am cooking .
“Yhuu bese ngifile umsindo( I was tired of the
noise )” she says
“Me too. That's why I got them to sleep”
“Mam'Zikhali uthi umzukulu wakhe ufuna
ukuvakasha noma bamvakashele ( Mam'Zikhali
says that her granddaughter wants to visit or
the kids visit her )”
“I am fine with anything”
I close the pot and turn the stove down. My
phone rings right across the kitchen. It's in the
charger. Who is this person who keeps on
calling me ?
“Can you take it for me Gogo ?”
“I don't want to speak to your boyfriend ”
“Hawu”
I take my phone and it has stopped calling. It's
Nazo, I smile .
“Mmmh ” I look at my grandmother.
She opens the pot and looks at me.
“Uhm, you can dish up ”
“Excuse me ”
I walked out of the kitchen door and I went
outside and I called him.
“I thought you were busy”
“I was in the kitchen with my grandmother
cooking”
“I miss your cooking ”i laugh
“How do you know my cooking ?”
“You always cooked when we used to visit ”
“Ukube useduze ngabe ngikubekela iskaftini (
if you were close by , I would reserve some for
you)”
“I don't mind driving down there to have your
food Thembalam”
I went around the house walking.
“No , I will cook for you one day ”
“I will hold you to that”
“I am going to Pretoria on Saturday but I am
still coming on Friday, I just wanted to inform
you”
I smiled.
“I trust you.”
“I love you”
I shy off and I see a car park opposite our
house.
“I will text you” the door opened.
“Ok Baby” he yawned.
“Rest please”
“I will. ”
The call ended and went out of the gate.
“Sakhile”
He attacked me with a hug and I pushed him off
me .
“What are you doing here ? I thought we went
our seperate ways”
“I miss you Slindo. I miss my wife so much , I
still love you” I look at him and shook my head
chuckling.
“You moved on Sakhile I have too. Please don't
bother me or my children. ”
I turned.
“Slindo ” he held my waist.
“Please forgive me ”
I turn to him.
“I forgive you but I won't get back with you. I
am with someone else. Please move on like you
did once we were married Sakhile, I wish you
the best ” I remove myself from him and I walk
off.
“I will be back Slindo !” he says as I close the
gate. I walk back towards the house, I get
inside and my grandmother closes the curtain.
“I hope you told him off ”
“I am not going back to him Gogo if that's what
you think. Ngirite lah Ngikhona ( I am ok
where I am )”
“I want to meet this boy ”
She sat down and I walked away to the
bedroom. I looked at my kids sleeping together
and I got in next to them careful not to take up
their space.
“Mama loves you”
I look at them, i take my phone and I send a text
regarding on the matter that had just happened
and slept peacefully next to my kids. I will
never go back to Sakhile, I would never put
myself in that position again. I have grown
now mentally and I don't want him pulling me
back again and stopping me from achieving
what I want to achieve and making me a fool.
_________
The Friday that My grandmother had to meet
Nazo came and it didn't go so well. It's expected
but I thought it would be a bit better. Let me say
Nazo paid for Sakhile's sins because he got
injured from my grandmother's wrath. I am
happy it wasn't drastic but Nazo'shoulder and
his upper part of his arm is swollen. He had to
cancel his trip to Pretoria and called his friend
to handle his job for him that he was supposed
to do that side. I left with him. It's my
grandmother's fault that he can't work his arm
without getting hurt, My Grandmother was still
livid but she calmed down and I said we will
talk when I come back. She just nodded. I love
that she understands at times and always there
for me but hitting my boyfriend was very
unecessary.
“Baby come here”
I have just finished with the bath. My
grandmother almost took his arm off with those
bashes. I can't say it's a pan or anything because
she took anything that she got her hands on. I
am folding the towels neatly. It's like I am
taking care of a baby because his right side is
the one where he is injured on. I have to feed
him, bath him and take care of everything. He
doesn't see the need as he said his left side still
works but it's difficult to use it as he is not left
sided. Ok I like the bathing part a bit , just a bit
because we bath together. It's much easier to do
so.
“I need to cook Nazo. Mele idle( you need eat)”
“We will order. Come here ”
I huff and put the towels away before I get in
bed next to him.
“I understand your grandmother's anger ”
“But she had no right. Look now you are hurt”
“I can handle the pain ”
I like his shoulder a bit and he groaned softly.
“You can handle pain ?”
“You are cruel”
“Sakhile will shoot us once he finds out about
this ”
“Then we will die as lovers. Romeo and Juliet”
“Nazo!”
I slightly hit his chest as he laughs.
“I am joking ”
“Please be serious. ”
“Ok Baby ”
“What now ?”
“Right now you kiss me and we worry about
nothing else ”
“Your level of calmness of this situation is
scary”
“I can't let negativity cloud my happy moments
with you. Don't overthink. We will cross
everything like your grandmother”
“It hasn't been a month of us being together but
we are facing this”
“Don't worry much ok?” I nod and he kisses my
forehead.
“When is your graduation ?”
“Early next year”
“I am proud of you , keep this up I am routing
for you” I smiled.
“I love you” I lay on his chest closing my eyes.
“I love you so much Thembalam ( my hope)”
________
I woke up alone on the bed later on. I got off
and went out of the bedroom. Nazo's place is
comfortable. I walk to him sitting at the lounge
and take away is Infront of him and also some
papers.
“You have healed I assume ”
“No , i am juat calculating something ”
“Work?”
“No, money that I have ”
I sit next to him.
“I ordered” he says
“Thank you” I take the paper bag and take out
the food before I eat.
He puts everything away.
“You are done ?”
“Yes, I just have this plan ”
“Yes”
“I want to buy a house”
“Ok...”
“A Vandelised house preferably”
“You are moving out of here?”
“No , I will renovate it then resell it at a high
price”
“If you are in for it. Go for it ”
He perks my lips and takes my food.
“We will argue ”
“I am sorry " he smiled.
This man , this man !

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

I wish things were just simple in life and you

can be happy when ever but with that there is a
challenge waiting for you ahead that you have
to face. Things you have to go through before
you reach where you want to go. It's like being
on the other side of the river and you want to
reach the opposite side but have to step on
rocks , Sticks and the strongly closing river.
Making sure you don't slip in but reach the
other side safety as well. To me it's like that.
Nazo and I have been discussing things
regarding this relationship and he saw it best
we go and Visit Sakhile's father , start with him
as the elder and my ex husband's father.
We bathed and got ready. His injuries haven't
healed meaning I am the one driving us , I don't
mind actually. His car is nice and comfortable .
Makes one feel important,I can't wait to work
and have my own assets . Something I can leave
for my kids behind once I kick the bucket.

“Have you seen my watch ?”

I take it and put it on his left wrist. He is

looking at me , Icant get used to how Nazo looks
at me out of the blue and just stares while
smiling. I thought it's weird but I am getting
used to it.

“Lets go ,”

“You look beautiful”

“Thank you Baby” I kiss his lips.

I take my bag and he takes his car keys and we

walked out.

“You are ok with driving ?” he asks and I take

the car keys.

“Don't worry. We will arrive safely”

“Ok” we got inside the car and buckled up. I

started the car and drove off.
_________
We arrived in Pietermaritzburg. I am glad I
called my grandmother. She said I should come
to her when I am done with what I am doing. I
hope she won't smash Nazo's head this time. I
get more nervous as we approach Richmond
crest and we get to the house. He is here ,
maybe . I don't know. Sakhile's father has 3
cars so I don't know if he is here or not.

“i am scared ”

“i am here” he says.

I nod and kill the engine. I take my bag and he

hops out and comes to open for me. I thank
him and he closes the door and locks the car. He
holds my waist as we walk to the door. I knock
and we wait a bit. The door gets opened by
MaSkhosana. We greet her and she lets us in.
We hear people talking and my nerves kick in.

“Thembalam I am here ” Nazo says and I nod

breathing out.

“You have a gun right ?” I say and he chuckles.

“Not with me , no. ”

Ok we are doomed. We reach the lounge and

we see Bab'Ndlovu , Sakhile's uncle and Sakhile.
Things just got worse.

“Ndodakazi, I am so happy to see you ”

Bab'Ndlovu says and comes to give me a hug.

It's warming. The first hug I have ever recieved
from him and it calms my nerves down.

“How are you ?” he asks.

“I am well Baba and yourself ? ”

“I am good ”

Seems like they were discussing something as

there were papers on the table and also some
brandy .
“Yah wena Popayi ” the uncle says.

“Baba ” Nazo says.

It's his father. Ok I feel bad that I didn't know

who his father really is amoungst the uncles.
This just got worse than I thought.

“You may both sit down ”

We sat down and the look on Sakhile's face

wasn't pleasing. He looked angry and I was
scared, I swallowed.

“What brings you here?”Bab'Ndlovu asks.

He calls MaSkhosana and tells her to get us

something to drink. She goes away.

“We have a matter we need to discuss with you

”

Sakhile chuckles.

“This is unbelievable” he says while looking

down. He shoves his hands in his pocket and
looks at us.
“What is it ? ” Nazo's father asks.

Our drinks come and I wish it's wine not juice.

I would feel better maybe with my nerves. I
wish I could pull Nazo so we can walk out but
we are already here. I sip this juice and I am
feeling worse. Sakhile sips his brandy and
keeps his gaze fixed on me now. I look away
and focus on something else.

“I will just get straight to it ” Nazo says.

“Ok ” baba says and places his hands in his

pockets
.
“Slindokuhle and I are in a relationship”

The sound of glass breaking snapped me into

reality and Sakhile was off his seat but fighting
Nazo. Their father's seperated them. Nazo
groaned and I put the glass down and rushed to
his aid.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes. Don't worry ”he says while closing his

eyes and groaning.

“Sakhile stop it !”his father says.

“Everyone sit your asses down !” Nazo father
commands. If I thought Sakhile's father was
scary then I am mistaken. This man switched
up from being playful and calm to being serious
in a blink. Nazo and I sit down and Baba sits
Sakhile down.

“I can't believe how low you could go Slindo ”

Sakhile says. He chuckled after that

“You think Nazo will take you seriously ? You

are you to be played with ”

My heart plunged. I felt tears prickling my

eyes. Nazo stood up and I held him.

“Its ok ”

“Sakhile don't talk to Slindokuhle like that in

my presence. ” Baba says

I swallow the lump in my throat. Nazo is angry

and shaking in anger. Itching to get to Sakhile
but the only thing standing between him and
Sakhile is me ,Baba and his father.

“Skindokuhle please continue ” Nazo's father

says calmly.

I am nervous and my voice is shaking.

“We ...we are.”

Sakhile chuckles and his father shoots him a

stare.

“Calm down ” Nazo's father says and I breath

out .

“Nazo and I are involved with each other ”

“So you were bitching around while we were

married ! ” Sakhile says.

“No...not entirely. I am sorry ”

I feel like my heart is going to stop.

“Sorry for what ?! Mmmh Slindo ?are you sorry

?”

I looked at everyone.

“Slindo talk it's ok ” his father says calmly.

“I..I found comfort in Nazo while we were

married. You weren't there , you cheated every
chance you Got Sakhile but I always forgave
you. Pamela and Asiphe weren't the only ones.
The list was endless but I stayed and Nazo was
always there for me. Showed me another side
and I fell for it. I fell for him. He loves me like I
love him and cherish me , Respects me and
includes me in everything he does. Something
you failed Sakhile , you failed your kids , you
failed me as your wife and failed as the man
who was once in my life after so many chances.
I am with Nazo now. We respect Bab'Ndlovu
enough to come and inform him. It's wrong I
know but I love him. In a short space of time he
has shown me what you haven't and that is
love. Feeling what love really I. I am happy
where I am and I don't want to move, my kids
are too and that's what's important right now ”

I wiped my tears and I smiled looking at Nazo.

He kissed my hand .

“This is bullshit !”

“I give you my blessing , If you are happy

Slindo. ” Bab'Ndlovu says.

“Gatseni you can't do that. She is my wife !”

Sakhile says.

“You failed. Someone else saw an opportunity

to rectify your mistakes and make Slindo happy
” he says.
“Thank you ” Nazo says.

“Manje Popayi awusho , ithini iplan

ngoNdodakazi ngoba asifuni udlale ngaye ( So
Cartoon tell me , what is your plan with this
woman because we don't want you playing her
)”

“We are going in her pace” Nazo says.

“Mmmh ”

“Fuck this !” Sakhile gets off his father's grip

and takes his car keys he walks out banging the
door.

“He will be strong ” his father says.

We just nod.

“We should take our leave ”

“Makoti visit me. I want 5 grandchildren ”

Nazo's father says.

Haibo. Doesn't he have about alot of kids

already to provide that ?Not now though

“Yes baba ”
“I will fetch the kids to visit me next weekend ”
baba says.

“They will be happy ”

We stood up and said out good byes. Nazo's

father keeps on cracking jokes and you can see
that Nazo is flushed by his father's acts. He
even gives off couple advices on how Nazo
should pleasure me in the bedroom and how he
does it with his woman. He then tells Nazo he
has a new girlfriend and Nazo says good bye
and we get in the car. We are both silent after
that. I look at him and I kiss his lips.

“Thats over ” he says.

“Sakhile will come for us ”

“Don't worry. I will handle that ”

I nodded.

“So you are going to give me kids ” he smirked.

“Not now ”

“Ofcause. When you are ready ”

I held his cheek.

“i love you ”

“I love you too ”

__________
We went to the mall after that and went to have
some lunch at Spur. I ordered ribs and he had
wings. I miss my kids , after we were done he
said we should pass by McDonald's and he
bought Happy meals for the kids. I then drove
to sweetwater after that. We arrived and they
were playing outside . My grandmother was
sitting under a shade watching them. I got out
and they ran to me and I hugged them kissing
their dried up faces and lips. They looked dirty
but I didn't care.

“Mommh missed you babies”

They told me stories and I listened to them.

They moved onto greeting Nazo and took their
meals and rushed off. Nazo stood by the car
and I walked to my grandmother. She was
looking at Nazo then she looked at me. I went
on my knees.

“Gogo ”

She smiled and I was relieved.

“How are you?”

“I am ok”

“Call that boy ”she said.

“You will hit him ? ”

She shook her head. I stood up and went to call

Nazo. He followed me as we walked inside the
yard.

“Sawubona ( hello )” he greeted.

“What do you want from Slindo?”

“I love her mah. She completes me ”

“I am watching you Mfana ”

“Yes ” he nodded.

“Go and get him some biscuits and a chair Slie”

“Ok ” I went to get him a chair and he sat down.

I went to make some refreshments for him and

went outside. I found them talking and my
grandmother even laughed. I think they are
getting along. I am happy.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

I was pleading and pleading to him but it fell

deaf ear. His punches and kicks were killing
me and i felt the bones crack on my chest. The
taste of my own blood tasted bitter than what I
was feeling. All I kept on saying is “I'm sorry ,
I'm sorry” he didn't stop. It boosted him , the
fact that I cheated. The fact that I got involved
with his cousin was what pissed him off more
than anything. My kids , they are what I was
thinking about. He pulled me by my hair
dragging me on the cold tiled floor from the
main bedroom to the bathroom. I felt the pain
wishing that my body numbs it out for me to
not feel it. He comes back and pours petrol on
me and I taste it. I am crying and my tears get
mixed with the petroleum. He takes out his
cigarette and I have my hands Infront of my
face.

“Please , I am sorry Sakhile , I am sorry” he

lights it and looks at me.
“I made you Slindo, I will break you too” he
drops the lighter on me .

*
I wake up from the terrible night mare. I am
sweating and someone is holding me tightly, I
am squirming to be out of this tight grip and I
am set free. I fall off the bed and I cry.

“Baby ”

My heart is thudding against my ribcage. It all

felt real , the pain. The hatred and the beatings ,
it all felt real. I feel his hand on my back as I
am crying. He lets me be for a while just
rubbing my back. He doesn't say anything, I
hiccup and he goes away and comes back and
touches my back softly.

“Thembalam”

I didn't lift my head to him.

“I am ... I am scared ”

The fear is there. I am scared of Sakhile , the

way he last handled me wasn't pleasant. Sakhile
doesn't give up , he will break me I know.

“I will handle everything Slindo don't worry.

Come here”

I sit up. He has sat down resting his back

against the bed, he hugs me with his arm and I
hold onto him. I don't want him to let go.

“Drink some water.You fell hard”

“I am ok , just a slight headache ” I say softly.

“We will go to the Doctor tomorrow” he says.

“I didn't hit my head ”

“Still ” I nod and drink the water.

“Sakhile won't touch you. He knows what I am

capable of ”

I look at him.

“What are you capable of ?”

“Dont worry about that ”

“I don't want you to be enemies. This is ...” he

stops me.

“Dont say it. Don't even say it Slindo ” he

sounds angry.

“I am sorry”

He sighs.

“Lets not fight but find solutions ”

“Ok ”

“He has no power over you , no one has but

you. You just need to stop thinking you can fear
someone besides God ”

I looked at him.

“I thought you said you are not Christian”

“I am not but that doesn't mean I don't know

that God exists. You see he answered my
prayers, you are with me now ”

I smile

“Are you always this amazing ?”

“There is still to learn about me. Discover sides

that some I don't want you to know but you
will”
“Are they bad ?”

“I can be something else Slindo” I swallowed ,

he kissed my forehead.

“But I will never hurt you, that I promise with

my whole life ”

I am silent , he runs his fingers on top of my

nightwear on my back.

“Slindo ”

“Mmmh?”

“Promise that if I cheat once you will walk away

no matter how much you love me and that if I
slap you even if I say it's a mistake you walk
away. You leave me all miserable ”

I was silent. Will we get to that point ? I am not

ready for that as yet.

“Promise me Themba lam ” he says.

“I promise ” I say

He kisses my forehead.
“Good girl ” I close my eyes holding onto him.
___________
A week passed and everything seemed to be
settling , I went back home because Nazo went
to live with his father while he recovers from
his injuries. I didn't want to leave him like that
but I have school and he forced me to come
back and carry on with school. He said I can
take his car so I can travel with as he won't use
it , arguing with Nazo is pointless at times so I
just let him be the man at certain things but he
really helped me because I can drop the kids at
school on time and get to the hospital on time as
well.

We were at the ward being shown how to deal

with patients and also the types of medication
used at certain patients so that they can be
treated. Some nurses are rude but it's a public
hospital so what will I say. I know that I love
what I will do, I can't wait to finish school. We
came out early and I dropped one lady in town
and went to fetch the kids. I drove to the taxi
rank, I need to sort this out because I can't live
like this. I parked opposite it and I rushed
across the road and went inside the taxi rank. I
saw him before he could see me. He was being
his sly self with the ladies, God how can I not
see what type of man he was ! I was too blind
and young. I mean I married at 22 but argh.
I got to him and his smile fades when he saw
me. I am not taking any nonsense from him
today. Not ever again.

“What are you doing here?” Zethule left us.

“Lalalela lah wena Sakhile( listen here Sakhile )

I don't care who you are or who your father is
but you are not Jesus yangizwa( you hear me )
You married me with your own agenda and I
was a fool I know but now I won't let you stand
in my way of moving forward. I was good to
you but that never satisfied you , you turned me
into a fool and I felt like my mind wasn't
functioning well. Yes I slept with Nazo twice
while we were married that's because you slept
with every skirt and kiwi you saw and got
between it's legs and no I don't have kids with
Nazo but with you Sphuku phuku sakwa
Ndlovu. Yazi ubaba wakho ezilungele
uyaphoxa. I don't care if you don't want those
kids I will raise them but don't ever I mean ever
stand in our way of moving forward and being
happy even if it means your father makes me
happy . Change Sakhile , for God damn sake you
are in your 30's . You had a whole family , a
warm home and a great wife but you threw it
away for what ? Where are those girls now ?
Would they have stayed like I did ? UyuSakhile
kodwa wakheni ?( Your name means building
something but what have you built up ?) Mmh ?
No. I am not here for that , move on and stop
trying to break down the life I am building. I
don't mind you being a present father but leave
me and Nazo. He makes me happy Sakhile
something you failed to do. If things don't work
out between us it's fine that doesn't concern
you. Move on and make someone happy.
Kuyoba nini ufeba into engapheli ? ( When will
you stop sleeping around like this?) No man ”

I turned around and walked away. I hope that

was loud and very clear what I had said , I can't
let him be the controller of my life anymore. I
am tired. I drove home.

My phone rang and I took it out of my bag and I

looked at it. I answered.

“Baby I am on the road”

“I will call later ”

“Sure” I say.
__________
Today I am going out with Amahle and Sane , I
need a break from my life and it's just the 3 of
us. We are having a spa day and Sane said that
her husband is paying for it so lucky us. I did
tell Nazo and he said I must enjoy. I miss him
so much , he is just wonderful. I don't worry
about Sakhile because if he tries anything on
me this time I won't sleep shame. I will haunt
him for the rest of his life. When he sleeps I will
drop dishes make all sorts of noise. I won't let
him rest in peace as well never shame !
We are dipped in white robes and a white towel
on our heads. We are having foot massages and
some white wine and crackers as well. I am
enjoying , it's hard being a mother of 3 and
working at the same time. It will be worse once
I graduate so thank you Sikelela for this.

“You must be rocking your husband's world

Sane”Amahle says.

“Agreed”i input.

“I don't give him peace. He has to miss me even

when he is away . Kuyimanje I went to a
Sangoma so that it won't erect when he tries
sleeping with another woman ” she says

“Someome should've thought of that ” she looks

at me.

“I am fine where I am thank you ”

They laugh.
“So you are dating Nazo?” Sane asks.

“Yes”

“How is he ?” Amahle asks.

“He is good ”

“No I mean Dick size”she says

“I am not telling you that ”

“Its a stud” they laugh I sulk.

“I don't care ” I say and they laugh.

“And you Sane ?”Amahle asks.

“You don't want to know. Triple story !” she

says loudly and we laugh. The ladies doing our
feet share a small laugh.

“Yeyi Ngaze ngayithanda indoda mmmh ( I am

in love with this man )”she says.

“As long as you are happy ” I say.

“I am happy, I can't wait for us to have a child ”

she says.
“Have you discussed it together ?” Amahle asks.

“Yes we have and we are both ready to bring a

human. We have been together for long. It's
time now ”

“Yeah Linathi needs a cousin ”

I moan and the massage. I feel really relaxed. I

take the wine and I drink it.
_________
The day was quiet enjoyable. We ended at a
Cafe and had some food while chatting. It's
always nice to be out as girls. I have toned
down on the wine as well , I am driving back
home so I need to be as sober.

“Oh Sikelela is outside. ” Sane looks at her

phone

“Let me get the bill”Amahle says and she asks

for it.

We wait and it comes , once we are paid up we

leave the place , I feel lighter now than I was
before , I just want to get home and rest.

“Sthandwa Sam ” Sane throws herself at

Sikelela. She is a bit drunk but he carries her
and places her inside the car.

Sakhile is here along with Afika. I have no beef

with anyone here .

“We have to go ” I say.

“Thank you for the day ” Amahle says and

Sikelela chuckles.

“Anything for my wife to be happy ”

“Sweet , we have to go ”

We say our good byes and walk to the car.

“Slindo!” I turn around and it's Sakhile coming

my way. What does he want ? I give Amahle
the car keys.

“I will catch up to you ”

She nods and she goes to the car.

“Sakhile ”

He places his hands in his pocket.

“How are you ?” he sounds calm

“Uhm , I am fine ” I say.

“Thags good. You look beautiful ” he says.

“Thank you ”

There is silence.

“I have to go ”

I turn to walk away.

“I don't think you know who Nazo really is ” I

stop my tracks and turn to him.

“You are in for something else with him. ” he

keeps on talking

“What do you mean ?”

“I don't want you saying that I am standing in

your way of finding happiness , it's just a
warning to expect something with him. It can
get ugly Slindo I know. If you don't believe me
then wait and see ”

He turned and walked off. I watched him walk

away leaving riddles about his cousin, my
boyfriend. My phone rings and it's in my bag. I
take it out and it's him. I swallow and I answer
walking to the car.

“Gatseni ” I say.

“Now I miss you so much !” I faintly smile.

“Me too ”

“Are you ok?”

Don't overthink. Don't.

“Yes. I am tired from the day out. ”

I get by the car.

“Ok , I love you ”

“I love you too. I will call ”

I hang up and breath out. Sakhile is playing

mind games with me, Nazo wouldn't hurt me
and he gave me permission to leave when he
does so I don't think there is anything wrong
with him. I am yet to know more about him.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

“Mama !”

I caught Linathi in my arms and Zabelo

followed getting ontop of her and myself.

“Why are you asking me up so early ?” I check

the time. Oh , it's not early. It's 10 am already, I
guess I over slept.

“Funu kudla ( I want food )” Linathi says.

“Cela ( Ask)”

“Ncela Mama ( please Mommy)”

“Ok. Come ”

I remove them off me and get off the bed. I

walked out with them and I found my
grandmother seated at the living room. The
house looks clean already.

“Good morning ”

“Good morning ” she says.

“Where is Samkelo?”

“Asleep. He is tired ”

It's early to be tired but I nod.

“How was your day yesterday?”

“Very well thank you”

“Did you see your boyfriend?”

“No , I haven't seen him since I came back” she

gives me a look and nods.

I walk away to make food for these two. I sit

them down on the floor and they eat. I make
some tea and bread as well and I eat, I boil
some water while at it. Nazo ! I forgot that I
told him I will call him later. I push what
Sakhile had said to me. I went to my room and
got my phone. The kids finished and out their
dishes in the sink and rushed outside. I dialed
his number and it rang twice before he
answered.

“Thembalam ”

I could hear soft music playing in the

background.

“I am sorry I forget to call you yesterday. ”

“Its ok , you were tired. I hope you are ok”

“I am ”

“Thats good , Baby I will call you in 30 minutes.

I am in a meeting ”

“Oh sorry”i say.

“I will call you in 30 minutes ”

“Sure ”

He hangs up. I finish what I was doing and take

out ingredients to cook with before I go and
bath. Ah ! I am fresh now and ready to tackle
the day. I check on the drunk wife and she
seems fine from the way she was yesterday but
she told me she got a punishment if her life and
I didn't even want to know about it. We cut the
call short after. My grandmother walks inside
the kitchen.

“I am on with cooking”

“I am tired. I am going to rest ”

“Ok , I will check on the ones who are playing
outside ”

She nods and walks out. I check on the kids

while I am cooking and they are close by. I am
half way through my cooking and my phone
rings. I go and take it.

“Hello”

“I am sorry about that ” he says.

“Its ok, How are you ?”

“I am good. Just had a frustrating meeting”

“Oh, have to investigate something”

“Yes , I was at the Casino ”

Explains the soft music.

“Oh ok, You know I want us to talk about

something ”

“What is wrong?”

“Its not a phone matter ”

“Now I wish I can come down there to see what
is wrong ”

“Its not serious ”

“Ok”

I heard one of the kids crying outside.

“I have to go ”

“Ok , we will talk later ”

“Ok”

We hang up and I rushed outside. Zabelo fell

while they were playing with Linathi. She kept
on trying to narrate what had happened but I
can't hear anything that she is saying. I told
them to get inside and go watch tv , the girl
wasn't happy with the suggestion.
__________
“Please pack these syringes away ”

The Matron hands them to me and I take them

away , today it's a very busy day and it's almost
the end of the year. It's also the weekend where
people see the need to find a home in the
hospital while at it. We are helping out here
and there in the process. I am so happy next
week I am going to baby birth and
foreshadowing a Midwife. It just brings joy to
the life's I have given to and the ones I carried.
My grandmother really ruined my chances of
seeing Nazo more often by jumping him. Now
girl can't get her groove on after a while.

I put the syringes away and i walk out of the

store room. I walk out and I see a stretcher
being pulled by paramedics and I take a glance
and I look at the poor woman laying there
injured. Took me back to the time Sakhile laid
his hands on me. I hope she survives that
traumatic experience. From her swollen face
it's clear indication that it's a sign of domestic
violence. I walked away and carried on with my
work. Soon enough I was done for the day.

I get to the car and throw my bag on the

passenger side. No I miss my man, I have never
missed a person like this. No it's decided , I am
leaving today. Tomorrow I am not going in
anyway. I drove home. The kids are home as
well so I will arrive just with time to spare. I get
home and I park the car and get out. My
grandmother is actually having peaches with
them. I greet everyone and give them hugs and
kisses.

“I am going to Durban. I will be back tomorrow

Gogo ”

“Dont come with a baby ” she says.

“I won't.”

I walk to the bedroom and i took off my

uniform and threw it inside the basket. I then
took my small travel bag and I put clothes for
tomorrow I will come back wearing and some
extra. I took out an outfit I will wear and got
dressed. I looked at myself and took my bag
zipping it and walked out waving goodbye. I
rushed before Zabelo realizes I am really
leaving . I get inside the car and I breathe out
then drive off.
____________
I run my fingers through the lacy fabric, I can't
make an appearance and not bring any gift
right ? Maybe I am a bit excited but he needs it.
I find the perfect one and I take it. I don't check
the price Incase I will have a heart attack.
Already my month is tight and here I am
making trips to Durban. I pay and I don't ask
the Cashier how much it is. I take the plastic
and I dash out of the store. I reach the car and
get in then off onto the road I get.

It was a dreading ride but I made it. I park the

car and I get out of the car locking. I reach the
door and rummage through the bag and take
out the keys and I open the door. I walk inside
and it looks clean shows no one was here for
some time and where I left my glass the time I
left , it's still there. I walk to go and wash it
them I clean up a little. Let me cook , check the
cupboards and take out the food. I will make
dumplings and Oxtail stew , that seems suitable
for a Zulu man. I get started with the pots and
by the time I go and take a bath they are doing
their thing.

I stay a bit in the bathtub but I get out soon

enough. I go and check on the pots and the food
is ready ! 2hrs later and everything is set up. It's
not romantic but it's the thought that counts. I
get dressed in my new garnet and wear my silk
robe over it. I find my poison and I pour it in a
glass. I really need it. Now to call this man over
so I can show him he is loved.
I settle on the couch and I drink my wine slowly
savouring the sweet taste . I dial his number
and it rings before he answers.

“My Love ”

“Are you at your place?”

“No, I am still at Dad's place and I want to leave

but I can't because of the helpers who are
taking care of me ”
“Mmh , There is a delivery for you there. I sent
it , it should've arrived now ”

“What is it ?”

“Why don't you see it for you self . It's a

surprise”

“I am going there ”

“Ok , I love you ”

“I love you more ”

He hangs up. I wear my slippers and I took the

car keys. I went out to park the car inside the
garage and then went inside once again. I
locked the door and sat there drinking my wine.
I am feeling it kick in already just waiting for
the right person to take me out of it's Mercy ,
Minutes later I see headlights and it's already
dark. The door is fiddled with and it opens. The
lights are switched on and he is looking at me in
awe. I smile and put the wine glass down. I
stand up .

“Welcome home ”i say.

“This is a lovely surprise ” he says and I kiss his

lips.
“Are you hungry?” I whisper softly in his ear.

“For you yes”

“For food ”i say

He kisses my neck and I moan.

“You smells so damn good Thembalam”

I go to the door and I lock it and turn to him.

“Go and sit down , I will dish up ”

He went to sit down.

“I am not hungry for that food. Take off that

Robe. I want to see what's under ”

“Nazo”

“Baby ” he says softly like he is loosing his

breath. I remove it and it drops. He whistles

“You look sexy baby. Turn around a little , I

want to see all of you” he says.

I turn around slowly and I face him.

“Fuck I am so blessed !Come baby” I walk to
him and sit on his lap and I kiss his lips.

His hand travels between my thighs and he

goes to my private area and he inserts his finger
and I gasp and moan at the same time. He rubs
my clitoris with his thumb while thrusting in
his finger.

“Mmmh” I closed my eyes bitting my bottom lip.

He stands up with me holding me with his one

arm and I wrao my legs around his waist as he
walks to the bedroom with me . He laid me on
the bed and I kept my legs locked around his
waist.

“I am in control today ” I say and he smiles

“Yes Mam”

I laid him on the bed and got ontop of him and

kissed him.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
I lay my body next to him and I take deep
breaths trying to catch my breath properly , we
haven't said anything to each other but have
taken the amazing moment we have just had. I
look at the ceiling as I take my breaths and my
breathing starts to get Normal. I turn to look at
him and he looks at me then smiles , I shy off
because it's doing somethings to me at the
moment. He pulls me to him.
“That was amazing. Thank you so much ” he
kisses my forehead.
“Pleasure Babe ” I say.
“We should go and eat ”
“Come then ”
I pulled him out of the bed. We went to wash
ourselves and I wore a gown over my naked
body and he wore boxers. We went to the
kitchen and I dished up for the both of us , I
warmed the food in the microwave and it got
done. We went to sit down and had the meal
with a light conversation , mostly updating each
other in what was going on in our lives the past
week. He told me that he found a the perfect
house he was looking to renovate and resell and
I was honestly happy for him. I hope everything
is successful. We get done eating and I take the
dishes and I go and wash them , I get done and I
pour his drink and have mine. I settle next to
him and he looks at me.
“Lets talk”
Ok , I sip the wine and put it down and give him
my attention.
“Yes ”
“You said something about us talking about
something. What is that ?” he asks.
“Sakhile said something disturbing about you
sometime ago , I just wanted us to talk about
that ”
He is silent while looking at me.
“What did he say ?” he asks after a long time of
silence.
“He said I don't know who You really are and
said things can get ugly ” I say
“They can ” haibo
“Excuse me ?” I say.
He holds my hands.
“I have said baby before. I have sides and things
about me that I never and wish you never know
but you will know. That I know but that doesn't
mean I will hurt you. I won't ,just trust me ”
“I trust you ” Now I am wondering who is this
man Infront of me.
“Is it something bad ?”
“I don't know what is your definition of bad”
I didn't say anything , He kissed the side of my
head.
“I an glad you came and talked to me about this
instead of being sour for nothing”
“We communicate right ?”
“Right !”
I look at him. I trust him it's just I don't know
this mysterious person Nazo is. I am yet to
know and I hope everything works out.
___________
Today I have to leave but a bit later and we are
not happy about the departure but we will see
each other once more,I cleaned his place up. I
woke up very early and way before him just so I
can spring clean his house properly , I expected
to stumble upon lady things but I didn't. Instead
I found a set of keys and just dirt. Sakhile
ruined me, this is Snazozonke not Sakhile. I
should get that in my head. I went onto
changing the bedding in both of the rooms.
Nazo's curtains are simple. I am sure his
sister's chose that for him as he is a man. He did
mention his sisters were the ones who
furnished and decorated the place and I like it, I
won't lie and try to be bitter. I went onto
making soft porridge with pumpkin called
Isjingi. I got done and I dish up for the both of
us. He walked in the kitchen at that moment.
“Good morning”
“Morning Thembalam ”
“I made soft porridge ” he rubbed his eyes.
“I was 10 I think when I last had that ”
“You thought it was not cool anymore ” he sat
down on the small table and I joined him. He
thanks me.
“No , i stopped loving with my grandmother
and moved here with Dad”
“Oh, How was life growing up?”
“Tough I guess ”
“Bad ?”
“I did things Slindo but it led me to the career I
am in now ”
“Oh I see ” I didn't want to pry much on the
matter.
“Some things are better in the dark for a while ”
he says and I nod.
“We are taking baby steps , no rush ” he smiled
and ate his food.
“I will marry you once you are ready” he says
while looking at me. I shy off and he chuckles.
“Do you have to go back?” he asks.
“Yes , I told my grandmother I am coming back
today”
He nodded.
“Next moth I have to be out of the country ”
“For how long ?” I ask.
“I am not sure how long I am going to be
needed ”
I won't lie , I was sad a bit that he is going but
he is working.
“Ok”
“When are you done with school ?”
“I don't know. I think in a few weeks we will
write then we are done ”
“If I am still out of the country I will fly you out
to come to me ”
“No it's work. With me there you will be
distracted and not get done.” he laughs.
“A good distraction. ”
“Eat” he shakes his head and carries on eating.
We are done and I wash the dishes. We take a
bath together and get out. We get dressed and I
am packing my bags. He takes my underwear
and my dress from my bag and puts it inside his
wardrobe and the underwear in his pants
pockets.
“What are you doing?”
“I want something that belongs to you ”
I shake my head. I won't argue with him, he
comes and holds me as I close my bag.
“When do you need your car back?” I ask.
“Not now ” I nodded and he kissed my neck
I take my bag and we walk out locking. We get
inside the garage and get inside the car. We
drive off after that, I was going to drop him at
his father's house. We got there and he hopped
out.
“Come inside ”
“I am not staying”
“They have already seen the car I know ” he
says , I huff and I get out as well.
I lock the car and we walk to the house. His
father's house is bigger than Bab'Ndlovu's
house. Maybe it's because Bab'Ndlovu has one
child and Nazo's father has about 5 or 6 Kids.
One boy and the rest are girls. He opens the
door and it look like Zulu land. Spears and cow
skin around on the floor as a carpet I assume.
Maskandi music playing softly. Mnguni patterns
on the leather couches , I am sure he went off
his way to find them.
“Baba please angina petrol ( I don't have
petrol)”
We see one of Nazo's sisters speaking to his
father. He is drinking whisky I assume while
watching tv, he is wearing black track pants
and a white t-shirt and his slippers Infront of
him. That's where Nazo got the looks from.
“Angina Span nami siyafana ( I don't have a job
as well, we are the same )”
The sister sighed defeated.
“Gatseni” Nazo says and his father turns to us.
“Makoti , what a lovely surprise ” they have
nice father's that I can say.
“Makoti ? Wasn't she married to Sakhile loh?”
the sister looks at me up and down.
“You should be on the streets selling that weave
for petrol money ” Her father says. She huffs
and walks off.
We settled down on the couches .
“How are you ? You are here to tell me that I am
expecting a grandchild”
“Dad no” Nazo says.
“Ok ...ok but I hope you are working on it ”
“In due time ” that's all I say.
“I am not staying. I just came to day Hello” I say.
“Nonsense. Stay, I am sure food is being
prepared. You don't have to rush ”
I didn't expect this but I stayed. We got
beverages while at that. His father excused
himself when he got a call and said it's work
related.
_________

“You came back late ” my grandmother says as I

throw myself next to her.
“Nazo's father held me back”
“What did he do ?”
“He asked me to stay for lunch” she nods.
“I am tired”
“You do look tired”
“Where are they ?”
“They played too much. Resting ” she says.
“Ok , thank you for everything Gogo , I mean
everything ” she smiles
“I love you Mntanami ” she pulls me to her
chest and I hug her.
“I love you too Mah”
I feel blessed with her.
___________
It's a Saturday and I have decided to take the
kids to the park. They deserve some time out
but my grandmother opted to stay. She said she
has tea time with her friends so I didn't let on
that. I dressed them up and took a blanket to lay
on the floor and we went out. I won't spend
much. Just snacks and rolls with Vienna's and
we are well ok. I don't need to spend much just
so I can take them out for a good time. We
stopped by Scotsville mall since it's the closest
by the park and my phone pinged while I was
pushing Linathi who was in the trolley. I took it
out and looked at it, a message followed. I don't
like this at all. I called him after that.
“Babe ”
“Snazozonke ”
“Mmh ?”
“You know how I feel about you giving me
money ”
“Its for the petrol and what's left you can use ”
“I should be the one doing that ”
“Lets not argue Slindo. Let me take care of you
if I want to ”
I huffed.
“I love you ”
I hung up and I pushed the trolley. He called
again and I looked at it for some time before I
answered it.
“I said I love you ”
“I love you ” I say
“Ngiyaxolisa yezwa?( I am sorry )”
“I forgive you”
“Thank you. Where are the kids?”
“Here with me. We are going to the park ”
“With that friend of yours?”
“No ”
“Ok , Be safe and I love you ”
“We will be ”
“Call if you feel like you are not safe ”
“I am sure we will be fine ”
“Ok, enjoy ”
“Bye ”
He hung up. I bought what we needed and went
to pay. I then went to fill the tank after that and
we went to the park to have some fun. We got
there and I lay the blanket down and they went
to play while I watched them, I opened some
chips and ate while keeping guard over them.
“Sitting alone is not good” I look up
“I am fine on my own ” I say and focus on my
kids.
“I was just passing by. Nice meeting you ”
I pulled a thumbs up and he walked off. Linathi
was shouting for her brothers to push her on
the swing. She is dramatic just like her father
this one.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

“It looks so perfect on you ! ”

I turn around the mirror and I look at myself. I

love it as well, I run my fingers on the fabric
and this dress makes me feel so good. The lady
pulled through for me with it because it turned
out so perfect. I turn to the lady.

“You said how much I should pay ?”

“R600 ” she says and I move from the mirror

and I rummage through my bag.

Sane holds her bag close to her, we are down

town and the street people are vultures ,
already were stamping their eyes on our bags
as we walked out of the car. I take out the R600,
I have to recover from this next month but I
can't look like a Hobo on my graduation day.
Shane's idea. I though I would go to Mr Price
and find a suitable outfit and dress for the day
but she didn't have any of that, that's why we
are here at the tailor. This lady knows her
business and I love how she designed it exactly
like the picture just a bit of twists but I love it.

I hand it over to her and she thanks me. I close

my bag and give it to Sane, they are not safe
here.

“Let me go and change ” she nods and I walk

off.

I get to the back and get to the bathroom that is

only covered with a sheet. It serves as a
changing room and also a bathroom at the
same time. I change into my uniform and I am
done. I take the dress and they are waiting for
me. The lady takes the dress and she folds it
and puts it inside the plastic and I thank her.

“Bye ” we say and Sane stands up happy that

she is leaving. She gives me my bag and I pull
myself together and fix myself as we walk out.

“Sawubona bo sis bami .....( hello my sisters....)”

The creepy guy says. I am sure he hasn't bathed
since the 2010 world cup !

“Angiyena usisi wakho mina ( I am not your

sister )” Sane says as the guy follows us. I am
scared , what if he stabs us lah. His friends join
him behind us.

“Cela nisiphe uR2 sisi wami ( Please can you

give us R2 my sister )” we keep on walking.
Where did we park again ? It's getting dark
anyway because it's the afternoon. I should've
fetched this dress during the weekend.

“Angibaphathi ohlweza mina ( I don't carry

coins)” Sane keeps on talking. We see our cars.
I turn and there are 5 of them behind us.

“Sane let's run ” I say and she looks at them.

They are still following us.
“I am wearing heels ” she whispers.

“Kick those stilletoes off and run ”

She does and we run and they run after us.

They catch us and take our bags.

“Leave me ! Leave me !”

A knife is pressed on my throat and one against

Sane's ribcage. My heart is beating fast.

“Take out everything ”

“It's all in the bags ”

I swallow and they pat us before letting us go

and they run off. I breathe out.

“How will we get home ?” the car keys are in

there. Shit Nazo's car.

“Do you know Sikelela's number off by head ?” I

ask.

“Yeah. Let ... Come "

We walk away, we reach someone who looks

decent and ask to use his phone. He lends ut to
us and Sane calls Sikelela and she hung up after
telling him where we are . This is the worst day
and it's getting dark. I am scared for real. We
thank the guy and he offered to stay with us till
someone comes to get us.

A few moments later , we are seated on the

pavement. My uniform is Brown that I am sure
. We were where we parked the cars and no
one has came back to steal them. Sane stands
up first and I look at her and see Sikelela
rushing towards us and they hug. I stand up
from the floor. She is crying on his chest and it's
all my fault. I should've just went to Mr Price
instead of getting a personally made dress. He
asks what happened and Sane narrates it's. He
goes to his car and comes back with Afika and
Qhawe. I am glad there is no Sakhile.

They asks us how those guys looked and we

describe them and then Afika takes the spare
key to Sane's car and gets in. Qhawe manages
to open Nazo's car and I wonder. He gets in and
closes the door. I even wonder how he will
start it. Sikelela takes us to his car and we get
inside. As soon as it drives off I close my eyes. I
imagine that long que ko Home affairs. I am
not prepared for it. Could they have just stood
everything and left the car keys and ID's with
our Drivers licenses. It's nonsense to get those
back. Even doing them. I should go to the bank
tomorrow and block my card and apply for a
new one.

“Slindo” I open my eyes and look at them.

“Nazo wants to talk to you ” oh God. I really

don't want to talk to him of how I was foolish to
get his car in the position it is in.

“I am not ready to talk to him ” I say and

Sikelela puts the phone on his ear. Sane turns
to me and looks at me.

“Are you ok?” I nod.

“She doesn't want to talk” Sikelela says. They

are not heading to Sweetwater, it's dark and far
now. Sobantu is closed but I don't want to just
pop at my mother's house when I haven't seen
her in years!

Sikelela moves the phone his ear and gives it to

Sane and silence consumes the car.

“We will take Slindo home tomorrow”Sikelela

breaks the silence and looks at Sane. I don't like
that.

“Sure” Sane says. I am uncomfortable with the

decision made without my permission
first.Obviously it would've been a no.

We get to their house and they are living large I

should say. Sakhile could afford living in such a
house it's just that I loved comfort and i still do.
He parks the car behind two Taxi's and we all
get out. Sane's car arrives and it's parked
behind Sikelela's car followed by Qhawe as
well. They all get out and Qhawe closes the
door.

“Come let's go freshen up and eat” Sane pulls

me away and we walk inside her house. The
large tv is taking up most of the wall space. It's
very simple but modernised house.

She pulls me up the stairs.

“We have 4 bedrooms. You can choose one ” she

says.

“Uhm thank you ”

“Feel comfortable please.”

“I should be home” I say

“You like my sister so this is your home as well”

I nod
“I will get you something to wear. I don't know
about pyjamas because I don't have those ”

“What do you wear at night ?”

She smiles.

“I don't wear anything ”oh lord this child of

yours.

“Come ”

She pulls me and get In a bedroom, she shows

me where I can get the blankets if need be but
it's hot. She then takes out some towels and
hands them to me. She pulls me out and we go
to the bathroom opposite the room and she left
me there. I open the water and I start bathing. I
am sure my grandmother is worried. I want to
call her. I bath and get out very quickly. I take
my uniform as I wrap myself Inna towel. I
open the door and I check the coast and make a
run to the bedroom and close the door. It opens
and I jump. Sane walks in changed with
clothes.

“Here” she hands it to me.

“Thank you ” I take the dress.

“Sikelela is ordering food ” I nod.

“I need to call my grandmother , I don't want

her dying from a heart attack.”

“There is a landline. You can use it ”

“Ok” I get dressed and I fold the towel.

__________
“You worried me so much” it my grandmother.
I am glad I have gotten hold of her.

“Yeah kunjalo( it's like that )” I say

“Oh , I thank the Lord you are safe and have no

harm. ” she says.

“Me too. I will see you tomorrow”

“Ok , pray yezwa ( you hear me )” she says.

“Yes I will pray”

She starts singing.

“Ungcwele , Ungcwele ...” I listen to her. She

then starts praying over the phone and after
she is done. The call is cut and I go and sit
down at the living room. We are eating now
and they are talking about finding those guys
who took our things. I am sure they are long
gone.

“Slindo ” Sikelela says looking at me then his

phone and hands it over. It's written Zala . I
stood up and placed the food down and I
walked outside. I answered.

“Hello” I hear him heave a heavy sigh.

“Nothing stresses me than being away from you

when you need me. Worse out of the country ”
he says and I am silent.

“But it ticks me off that you don't want to talk to

me ”

“I am sorry”

“If I can get to you let me get hold of you

Thembalam ” he says calmly.

“I understand. I am sorry for stressing you ”

“How are you ?”

“A bit shaken but ok”

“Dont worry about anything ok ?"

“Ok”

“I love you so much , don't forget that ”

“I won't . I love you too ”

“I have to go baby ”

“Ok ”

He hung up and I look into space and I sighed

and turned around walking back inside. I
excused myself and said good night. I went to
put the food away and went to rest my head.
____________
They found them. I think that was rather too
fast but I am not surprised one but. They know
the ins and outs of these streets. We walked
down the stairs as we were called to surely
identify that it's them who pointed knives at us
and stole our things. We got out of the sliding
door and I could see them. It's them ! They are
on their knees and Afika is watching over them.
Baba is here, the other uncle and Nazo's father
as well. He came from Durban for this. I think
this is a bit of drama for hand bags that have a
make up bag , Car keys , house keys ID's ,
Driver's Licenses ok..ok I see the point but still.
“Its them !” Sane says before we are even asked.
She has some rage now.

“Si..siyaxolisa ...Mfwethu siyaxolisa besingazi(

We..we are sorry ...my brother we are sorry we
didn't know )”

“Voetsek nja!” the uncle throws a kick on his

face and he falls. I close my eyes. I just want my
things and they could leave.
I open them again and He pulls him up by his
collar.

“Gatsa !” Nazo's father says to his brother who

let's go of the guy. He spits on him and runs his
thumb under his nose and he moves away. The
guy is crying.

“Where are their things ?”

“We have already sold them ” So quickly.

“Go inside the house and lock the doors ”

Sikelela says

Why should we lock the doors ? We don't move

“Now Sanelisiwe !” he roars and we move our

little butts inside the house and we lock.
“I will make breakfast. ” she says and I nod.

“I will help ”

“Don't worry” She says.

My eyes wonder and they look at the outside. I

see them through the blinds, they are not
entirely closed. It's like I could hear their
screams but I don't hear anything. Nazo's
father is the first one to pull a gun from his
back and it goes through the first ones head and
he drops dead. My heart beats fast. I have seen
enough. I hold my chest while closing my eyes.

“Slindo !” Sane leaves the counter and rushes to

me. She holds me.

“Breathe. Breathe ” I am hyperventilating.

“Oh my God don't have a heart attack on me ! ”

She rests me on the floor and I can't get my

breathing properly , she opens the kitchen door
and shouts . I close my eyes and let my body
give in to something I don't know. I hear
footsteps and faint voices , someone picks me
up and takes me away.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

“That was uncalled for and you know it Sikelela

! In my yard !”

“Calm down Baby , I am sorry. It's just one

person ”

“One person Slindo saw your uncle kill ”

The conversation is on the low but I can hear

everything.

“I hope you find some prophet of whatever that

will cleanse my yard. I don't want that
parasite's spirit in my yard”

“I will”

I open my eyes slowly and I look at the white

ceiling. I move my head to the side and I am in
the room I was using , I sat up straight and I
held my head. I feel a little headache coming on.

“Hey you are awake. How are you feeling ?”

My mind Jots back to what I saw earlier on.
They were begging and he pulled out the gun I
just saw the bullet coming to me and that when
I snap out of my thoughts. Sane holds my hand.

“Calm down. Everything is ok”

I looked at her then her husband and back at

her.

“I... I want my kids. I want to leave ” I say softly

and they look at each other.

I look around and I get off the bed an Sane

stands from it.

“Slindo ” I look for my shoes.

“I need to go ” She comes and holds me.

“Look at me ” I look at her.

“There is nothing you can change now. Just

accept it and carry on living ” how could she
say that?

“I don't want anything to do with this family

anymore ” I remove myself from her hold and i
rush out of the bedroom. I don't care about the
shoes anymore. I just want to go.
“Thats being Dramatic Slindo” Sikelela shouts

“Leave alone. I want to leave this place !” I hold

my head and I reach the door. I open it and
Nazo's father is the first person I see. I step
back and hold my chest.

“Don't do that one Slindo ” Baba follows and

they have our bags.

I grab mine and I rush out running.

“Slindo ! ” I get to the gate and it's electronic.

What ! ? I throw my bag through the gate bars
and I tuck my stomach in and I put my head
through the bars.

“Slindo stop it !” Sane shouts.

I push my body and it's a bit stuck by the butt

area. A car approaches the gate and it opens. I
push my body through and I am gone. I grab my
bag and run down the street bare footed.
Someone picks me up as I am running and I am
fighting as I am thrown on the shoulder like a
sack of potatoes.

“Behave Makoti ” my heart rate is beating fast.

The hands that pulled the trigger and killed
someone a while ago are the ones carrying me
away.

“Please let me go ” he ignores me. I cry tears ,

call me dramatic but that was traumatic.
___________
All doors are locked and the men are sitting
opposite me. Sane next to Sikelela and try are
holding hands. I swallow at their stares. It's
like I am the one who stole the bags when I
didn't even one bit. Everyone is silent and no
one has said anything for the past minutes.

“We are sorry” Baba is the first one to say in a

humbling manner.

“We are not bad” Afika adds

Bad ? They are not bad. After this I really don't

want anything to do with this family , what if
they teach my son's such nonsense.

“I want to go home ” I say softly.

“You will , just not now ” Nazo's father says. I

swallow , I can't even look at his direction.

“Everyone should leave us ” I am scared of this

man.
Baba looks at him and everyone stands up.
Why is he leaving ? They all do and I am here
with the father of my boyfriend.

“You were not supposed to see what you saw ”

he says and I keep quiet.

“Ngiyaxolisa Makoti( I am sorry)”

“What are you ?” I ask .

“I own Taxi's why ?”

He squints his eyes. Reminds me of Nazo, I miss

him.

“Why did you kill him ?”

“I was angry. ”

“You need to attend AA classes then ” he laughs.

“Since I drink whisky alot as well.” there is

silence.

“We just get things done in this family

Slindokuhle, you need to be strong. Weather
you are with these boys or not but you have
kids in this family ”
“I don't want them doing such”

“You won't know how they will turn out. Like

us or maybe better. ”

I look at him.

“Do you have a friend ?" He asks

" Why ?"

“I want a new girlfriend ” He is old for that.

“No , not for you” he chuckles. He must just

forget , yes he is handsome and doesn't look like
a father of a full grown man but No.

“I will book those talking appointments for you.

I don't want Nazo finding you a mess ”

“Therapy ?"

" Yes those white things "

I nod.
________
I was taken home after some time and I was
happy. Nazo's father promised to book me into
therapy. He really should take care of that
because I will be having nightmares after that
saga. I was happy to be home. The way I kissed
my kids all over it's like I have left them for a
year and I haven't seen them for that time.

“How are you ?” my grandmother asks.

“I am good ”

“Its good that you are ok” I nod.

“I am tired. I had a long day " she nods and I

kiss all of them and I went to my room to go
and sleep. I throw myself on the bed and I take
my phone.

I dial his number and it rings for some time and

he picks up after long last.

“Thembalam ” His voice sounds sexy.

“You sound nice ” I say and he chuckled softly

“You woke me up ”

“I am sorry” I forgot that he has a different time

frame than mine.

“How are you ?”

I roll on the bed and face sideways and I hold
the pillow. I look at the curtain and bite my
bottom lip.

“I miss you”

“I miss you too , why don't I fly you this side

when you are free? ”

“You will finish faster without me there ”

“Ok, I am working for us ok ?"

“Ok”

There was silence.

“Baby ”

“Yes ?”

“I don't think I will make it to your graduation”

I sit up.

“Snazozonke !”i felt hurt

“I am sorry Thembalam , I will make it up to

you when I come back ”
“Bye” I say

“Sli..” I hung up and I switch off my phone. I

then cry on the pillow.

“Mama ” I sniff and wipe my tears with the

pillow and mask a smile. Zabelo gets on the bed
and he comes and hugs me.

“Yathanda yezwa?( I love you ok?)” I nod and

he brushes my hair , I feel comforted with what
he is doing.
I close my eyes in the process and I rest.

______________
“Here we are again ” she smiles at me

“How are you ?”

“Ok ” I say and she fixes her glasses.

“The last time we were here you covered your

previous relationship and tucked into a new
one "

I nod.

“How do you feel ?”

“I feel lost a bit. ”

“Why ?” she asks me and I keep quiet.

“Alot of things are popping up that I never

knew were happening when I was with my ex
husband ” I say.

“You think he was protecting you from such ? "

“No... I was always at the house busy. I guess I

never went out to see what was happening ”

“Mmmh ”

“I don't know.” I stand up and went to the

window and I looked outside. I run my fingers
on the window frame and I sigh closing my
eyes.

“Ok , let's talk about your new partner ”

I turn to look at her. She is better than my

previous therapist. I guess it's because she is a
private one.

“He has hidden sides”

“Why do you say hidden ? ”

“I haven't seen them. I feel like I don't know

him and the wait is long.”

“You are trying to figure things out ” I nod.

“Why don't you sit him down and ask him

straight up ? ” she says.

“He is out of the country. He won't be here for

my graduation ” that feels like a stab.

“I am sorry” I nod. She looks at her little watch.

“Thats it for today " I nod and stand up taking

my bag .

“Call me when you need me ”

“I will ”

I walk out of her office and I make my way to

the elevator. I got in and it went down, I wish
that life was as simple but it's not really. The
elevator opens and I make my way out. I should
go and buy ice cream for myself. I went to
McDonald's at that thought and I got some ice
cream. I went to sit down.
It has been long since I took a nice picture of
myself and uploaded on Facebook. I take a
quick one or two and they look perfect. I look
at my smile and I just feel down a bit. Really a
person's smile and eyes speak alot. The smile
hides but the eyes tell the story.

The prodigal boyfriend is the first one to

comment on it.

“I miss you ” I look at it and I leave a like.

I have been ignoring his calls since he said that

he won't come to my graduation. I guess it's my
grandmother who will be there. I wish Nosi was
here , maybe things would be ok right now.

“At times we just have to let some things go just

so we can grasp something new ” I posted that
as well.

My phone rang and its the prodigal boyfriend. I

stand up taking my bag and I walk out the
franchise answering it. He sighs and I bit my
bottom lip as silence is between us.

“I am sorry” he says.

“I am the worse thing you have in your life

right now I know ” he continues.
“Nazo”

“Thembalam”

“I am hurt” I say

“I know and I am sorry Thembalam.

Ngiyaxolisa Ngenhliziyo Yami yonke ( I am
sorry with all of my heart )”

I wipe my tears.

“I am dramatic ” I say and chuckle.

“You are not. ” I swallow.

“When are you coming back ?”

“I don't know but I will be back as soon as I can

”

“I love you ” I say

“I love you so much Slindo. You don't know ”

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

“You are excited about tomorrow?” , I nod and

shs smiles.
She is braiding my hair so I can look beautiful.
“You know Slindo”
“Yes ” I take a sip off the wine in my hand.
I am at Amahle's place.
“Nosi , I am sure she is proud of you right now ”
I am sure too. Especially when I left Sakhile !
“I cried myself to sleep yesterday ”
There was silence between us and I took
another sip.
“She was amazing ” she adds. Yes she was, I had
the best sister in her. She was the person I was
most dependent on.
She does the last braid and it's done. She puts
her hands on my shoulder and we look at her
dressed mirror.
“You look beautiful”
“Thank you Mngani”
She takes a spray and sprays it all over my hair.
She then ties it up nicely for me. I thank her , I
am sleeping over and we have wine , movies on
her laptop and some snacks. Her phone rings
and I gulp the last substance of the wine.
“Baby ” she walks out of the out building.
She has her own outside room and garenteed
privacy. I pull the pillow towards me and I take
the chips. Nazo called me earlier on but we cut
it short because he had to go and sleep . I am
bummed that he won't make it tomorrow but
he must be in a really tight spot for him not to
come tomorrow. Amahle walks back inside and
she lets out a shy smile.
“Movie ?” I nod and she gets on the bed.
"Are you ok ?”
“Yes I am ”
I nod , she opens her laptop and searches for a
suitable movie that we can both watch. She
finally settles for one and we sit comfortably
while watching. She was very silent for
someone who talks so much and I think it's just
have been the call between her and her
boyfriend. I wont ask or pry but let her speak to
me when she feels comfortable. My phone rang
and I took it and it's my prodigal boyfriend. I
will call him that till he is back from overseas. I
get off the bed and Amahle is looking at me. I
went out of the room and answered.
“Baby !”
“You sound more cheerful” I love his voice
when he wakes up. It does some things.
“You woke up that's why”
“Damn I miss you !” I blush
“I miss you too”
“We need to talk”
“Ok...”
“While I am here things are changing in our
lives” my heart beats fast.
“Good or bad?”
“Both” my heart sinks to my stomach.
“Do you think you will be able to handle that ?”
“I don't even know what you are really doing
there”
“Its a good thing let me just say that but people
don't like good things ”
“Just come home ” he chuckles
“Ok. I will soon ”
“Home is where the heart is ”
“You are my heart” I blush
“Bye Babe ”
“Bye ” he hangs up and I breathe out. I walk
inside the room and I find Amahle wiping her
tears.
“Hey what's wrong ? ”
“Nothing. Let's watch ” she says ignoring me. I
let her be. I just hope she is fine .
_______________
“Fanele ubemuhle phela ( you have to look
beautiful)” I hold her hands.
“Calm down ” I say and she removes her hands
from my shoulders.
“Go and sit down. You look beautiful” I nod and
kiss her cheek.
“Bye” I move swiftly and went to join the
others. I sat down where I am supposed to be
and then everyone settled.
I looked at my grandmother and she was
smiling and I am happy that I have made her
proud. Seeing that huge smile on her face when
my name was called was priceless. I shedded a
few tears . I am not the Slindokuhle I was
before but a brand new person. I walked down
the stage Waving my hand at my grandmother
who was smiling with tears in her eyes.
The ceremony got done and I rushed to my
grandmother and hugged her. I felt like a child
coming out from her first day of school. She
laughed while hugging me.
“I am proud of you my child ” I sniffed.
“Ngiyabonga gogo ( thank you )” it has been a
very emotional journey. We break the hug and I
wipe my tears.
“Lets go out. ”
“Ok ” I don't even think she understand the
concept of what I said but it's ok.
The kids are visiting their grandfather. We went
to the cab that we are using for the day.
“Slindokuhle ” I turned and he walked up to us.
My grandmother looked at me as he stood
Infront of us.
“Sawubona mah ( Hello mah )”
“Yebo , ninjani?( How are you ?)”
“Hayi kuyaphileka ( I am well )”
“Gogo this is Bab'Ndlovu. Nazo's father ” they
shook hands.
“You do look like him ”
“He looks like me ” they share a short laugh.
“Well done ” he says pulling my cheek and it
hurts after with his strong grip. I am a bit
peaceful that he is not here but his father has
filled in the void a bit by being here.
“Thank you Baba” i say , Now life really begins.
__________
They are laughing like they are old mates , I am
not uncomfortable with that. I know my
grandmother is too old for Nazo's father to
charm. He seems to like them fresh like him or
younger and it suits him perfectly fine. My
prodigal boyfriend hasn't called since last night
and I tried him this morning and after my
graduation ceremony. I decide to not stress
myself much because its a special day I listen to
the conversation if these two Infront of me
while I eat my food , they are speaking about
me helping my grandmother now that i am a
nurse. I roll my eyes spiritually , typical of old
people saying that. The topic moves to me and
Nazo's relationship and i don't know when it
got there.
“Your nephew really hurt my daughter. It's a bit
hard to trust your son” my grandmother says.
“I understand that and I would act like you if
the same thing happened with my daughter ” I
drink my juice.
“Slindo is not like my other grandchild. She is
fragile and too loving” she looks at me.
“I have noticed”
Can they stop talking about me like I am not
here ?
“When are you and Nazo having a baby ?” I
choke on my juice and ask the waiter for water.
He brings it and I drink. I keep on coughing like
an old man dying.
“Baba ?”
“I asked a question” he says calmly.
“When we are both ready ” I say
“You are not getting any younger ” my
grandmother adds. Haibo is she ganging me up
with her new Best friend ?
“I think this is something Nazo and I have to
discuss”
“The kids are getting older. Don't let them have
a big age gap. It will be a problem ”
“i agree with you ” baba says.
“If he comes back we will have one ” I say that
to dismiss them. I can't believe these two.
The lunch was very nice. The bill is paid and we
thank Nazo's father and say our goodbyes. He is
heading back to Durban. We head back home
as well after that fruitful day.
_____________
“Slindo ! Slick ” I groan from my sleep as my
grandmother wakes me up.
“Gogo ?”
“Wake up ” she pulls me.
“Go and wash your face ” I get off the bed and
went to wash my face and brush my teeth. I
walked out to the lounge. I stretched myself.
I am so tired from yesterday and I need to rest
“Are we spring cleaning ? I am tired Gogo”
“You are lazy Thembalam” I stop my tracks
while going to the kitchen and I turn around.
He stands up from the couch and I run and
jump as he catches me in his arms and I hold
onto him. I hold his face and give him a kiss.
Gosh I missed this man this much.
“Hayi kwami ! Leh menyango namanyala !( not
in my house ! Outside the gate !)”
We break the kiss and share a laugh.
“We shouldn't have done that. We got carried
away” he says
“I missed you ”
“I missed you so much ”
“Outside ” my grandmother comes in. Nazo
puts me down.
“We are sorry ”Nazo says
“Mmmh”she turns and walks off.
I went to wear my shoes and we went outside. I
wrap my arms around his waist and he kisses
my forehead.
“i am sorry I missed your graduation”
“Its ok ,you are here now. That matters ”
I look at him and he leans his head down and
perks my lips.
“I am going with you to Durban today. ”
“I would love that ”
“Let me go and take my things ” we share a
brief kiss and I rush away.
I inform my grandmother of my departure and
she is ok if I am safe. The kids are coming back
in the afternoon so she won't be alone for long.
I pack my bag and I went to take a quick bath , I
got done and dressed up then took my bag away
as I walked out waving good bye to my
grandmother. I got inside the car and he drove
off.
“We have some talking to do ” I say.
“I know ”
“Good then ”
The ride wasn't long because we kept on taking.
I would say Nazo talks too much but I like how
he just spits things out and doesn't hide
anything though he is mysterious about
himself. We get to Durban and he parks the car
Infront of his house and we get out. I take my
bag and he takes his.
“Where did you land ? ”
“Here in Durban. Then drove down. I couldn't
come home without seeing you ” Sweet. I stood
on my toes and perked his lips.
“Aren't you the sweetest”
We walked inside and it was quiet. Looks like
we have deserted the place for way too long. I
drop the bag and he picks me up.
“You know what I missed?” I wrap my legs
around his waist.
“What ?”
“feeling your heart beat in synch with mine ”
He kisses my neck. I gasp softly while placing
my hands on his shoulders.
“I love you Slindo”
He places me on the couch and gets ontop of me
and kisses my chest and runs his fingers under
my t-shirt and he unhooked my bra and these
babies were free. He pulled me and took off the
top and bra and went in for my nipples. I ran
my fingers through his head as he sucked on
them while undoing my jeans. He took them off
and they were lost in a second as well.
“I don't want to wait. I want ..I want” He ran his
fingers on my thing and took it off me and
spanked my butt cheeks and i tuck my bottom
lip under my teeth and let out a soft moan.
His bottom clothes are gone , he puts his one
knee on the couch and his hands are on my
waist. He pulls me ass up and I feel him slip in. I
was ready for him.
“You are ready baby” i nod and hold onto the
arm rest as he thrusts. I moan.
”Fuck Thembalam ”
He spanks me and goes rough but I love it.
“Yes ,oh Nazo ! ”
“Home is where the heart is ” he runs his
fingers all over me. He thrusts one feel stroke
and It feels so nice , he is here and I missed him
so much I was going crazy.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

“That was the last patient” I handed the file to

the Doctor and he payed through it.
“Thank you”
“You are welcome”
“Most woman who are in your position would
be at home right now, enjoying their husbands
money” he says
“He is my boyfriend and he lets me do what I
love and that is working ” I say a bit irritated.
“Mmh”
“I have to go” I walk away from him.
I am so glad that it's knock off time. I walk out
to the parking lot and I got in my car , it's better
to leave at early hours of morning. I drive off
and I listen to the morning News from the radio
and I am being mentioned. I turn off the radio
and keep my silence. I just want to get home
and relax. I take my phone and call my
grandmother I know she is awake by this hour.
“Slindokuhle” she says.
“I have just knocked off. How are you?”
“I don't like having a stranger guarding me like
I am a child ” she says.
“But you need to rest. She is there to help you ” i
say
“I don't like it ” she will be strong then.
“Do you need anything more?” I ask
“No,I need those kids here tomorrow ” she says
“We will fly down ” I say
“Enkonzweni abawuvali umlomo ngami. Phela
bengibona ngilandwa ngihanjiswa engathi
ngiyisiqumama( At church they don't stop
talking about me. I am being driven like I am a
rich person)” I laugh.
“You deserve it ” I say
“Let me go and do the washing before I go to
the society meeting ” she travels alot now that
she gets driven
“Ok , bye ” she hung up.
I put my phone away and passed by McDonald's
and bought some breakfast. I am hungry before
I drove home. I parked the car and I got out
taking my lunch bag and handbag I walked
inside.
“Go and take your bag princess” she is put
down and she rushes up the stairs struggling to
go up but I know she doesn't want any help.
“Good morning ” I place my bags and I kiss his
lips.
“Good morning. How was your night?”
“I am exhausted. ” I sit next to him on the table.
I know I have eaten but the food Infront of me
looks scrumptious.
I take a plate and start dishing up.
“We made it to the front page again” he places
the news paper and I am defeated.
I knew what I was getting myself into when he
told me about his vision and here he is. I am
not even his wife but the attention I get you
would think I am the one in his shoes.
“It will blow over” he says and I take the news
paper. He said that a year ago. Yes it blows
over but something new comes up.
I look at it and I look at him and throw the news
paper on the table.
“Really Nazo?” I feel angry.
“Thembalam”
I can't believe it , so they are comparing me to
the president's daughter? I just lost my appitie
and I stood up. He dies the ssme and holds my
waist.
“I didn't do anything with her. Please believe
me baby ” he says. I turn to look at him.
“I need to see the kids ” I got out of his grip.
“Slindo !” I rushed up the stairs. I got to the
bedrooms and I went into Zabelo's. He is trying
to pull his suitcase with the help of Linathi.
“Mama ” Linathi forgets helping and comes to
hug me. I smile and I hug her while kissing her
face. I get Zabelo as well.
“Where is Sameklo ?”
“He Is asleep mommy” she says.
“Ok” I feel a bit tired.
“Carry on then ” I leave them and went to check
on Samkelo. He loves sleeping so much. I smile
and close the door before walking to the main
bedroom. He is showering. I can hear from the
water.
My relationship with Nazo grew to being
something amazing but when he started being
publicly known that's when things got rocky but
he tried his best. I don't like the spotlight. He is
now Minister of Sate security. I am happy for
him because he is doing what he loves but this
president's daughter seems to be the problem.
She is has been having her eye in Nazo for
some time.
He lets me be and work and he doesn't mind
that I do. No slindo don't overract. This man has
proven to love you for the past 3 years you have
been together. I am overrating I know. I take
off my uniform. Since Nazo has taken into the
political journey, I would say. We had to move. I
agreed moving with him and the kids. I am
glad that the kids are never in the spotlight or
anywhere. We live in Johannesburg, it was
hard for me to settle at first but eventually I did
settle quiet well.
I take my clothes off and I took the towel and
went to the bathroom. He is still inside the
shower and the glass door is not hiding
anything but the steam is created from the hot
water. I open the door and he turns to me. I
close it and I hold his waist and he holds me
closer to him and kisses my forehead.
“I know you behave yourself ”
“We have dinner at the President's house ” oh
Lord be with me.
“Ok, we are going to Msinga , remember that ” I
say
“I didn't forget”
He picked me up and pinned me on the wall. I
kiss his lips and he responds.
“I think I am ready to have another child” I say
and he smiles .
“You are sure ?”
“Yes ”
“Ok then. We will have a baby”
He kisses me and I respond.
___________
I stayed with the kids and I went to sleep. Their
nanny will take over. They have grown now. A
9 year old and two 6 year olds. I think she will
manage just fine while I rest for a few hours. I
feel someone laying ontop of me and that
person is quiet heavy. I groan.
“Vuka( wake up)”
“Get off me ” I say and he does and lays next to
me. I open my eyes and look at him smiling at
me.
“What?” I ask, looks like he went somewhere
because he is in a suit.
“I shouldn't look you like that ?” I shook my
head and he pulls me to him.
“I have something for you”
“What is it ?”
“Go and change. We are going” he says.
I get off the bed and I went to change. I wore
something I am comfortable in and he changed
as well.
“You were in a meeting ?”
“Yeah, the security around the border is a bit
weak. We want to tighten that.”
“Mmmh” we walk out of the house and the kids
are in the kitchen with the baby. She seems to
be making anything Linathi is ordering and I
feel sorry for her.
“We are going ” I say.
“Ok sisi” she makes the hotdog Linathi is
requesting. We get in the car and he drives off.
“Where are we going ? ”
“The tallest building there is in the city”
“Uhm ok”
_____________
I have never looked at the city at this angle.
The infrastructure actually looks fascinating
and you just want to be part of those people
rushing up and down. The cars moving and
everything. We were allowed here and I am
glad. Nazo is allowed anywhere , privileges I
guess.n
“This is amazing” I look down, it's refreshing as
well.
“I am glad you like it ”
“I like anything ” he nods. He looks at his
watch.
“We have to go home and prepare for the
dinner ” I am not ready.
“Cant I stay. ?” it's my day off anyway.
“Thembalam” I am defeated ! I nod and he
comes and kisses my forehead.
We left the building and the ride home to
Sandhurst was very dreading. We get out of the
car and made our way inside. We went upstairs
to prepare. I have gotten the hang of doing
make up professionally well and I have to say
that I am doing quiet well. I grab a dress and I
get dressed and take what I necessarily need.
“We need to come home early , we are leaving
tomorrow” he nods while wearing his watch.
“We will leave early. ” he kisses my forehead
“You look amazing turn around for me ” I shook
my head and turned around , he bit his bottom
lip.
“I am so lucky” I am the one who is lucky to
have him.
We went down the stairs and said our last
goodbyes for the day and Nazo opens the door
for me when we get to the car. His phone rings.
“Baba ”
He frowns.
“Ok, ” he hung up and kept quiet. He clenched
his jaw. I won't ask him, I can see he is angry
about something.
_______________
“Thank you for dinner ” it wasn't entirely
dinner alone. It was a political one and the
Princess was engaging alot. What she
emphasised is that she went to study political
science.
Good for her then.
It was the president and the deputy as well.
Two other ministers as well with their wives.
Atleast I wasn't the clueless one here so that
gave me a sense of relief as well.
“The chefs had done a very exceptional job ”
The country's father says.
“Yes ” The daughter adds.
“When are you getting married ?” one woman
asks. Where does it concern them when we are
getting married or not ?
“When my lady is ready to take the step with
me ” he smiles while looking at me.
“If she doesn't act fast they might steal you.” the
daughter says. I feel irritated , my smile fades
quickly.
“No they won't. I don't love any other woman
than her ” Tell her Baby, mxm.
“We should leave. ” I stand up and Nazo does
the same.
“We will see each other ” Nazo nods
“Thank you for the hospitality again”
We walked out. I wanted to be home now. That
woman ticks me off I won't lie .
“Slindo” Nazo says and I turn to him and he
holds my face and kisses me. I start to ease up.
“I love you ok?”
“I know. I love you too”
“Lets get you home” I want my bed. It's been a
busy day.

CHAPTER FOURTY

I zip up our last bag and already they are

downstairs. Reasons I don't like social media is
because of that girl. Honestly she is the
President's daughter. Can't she get another
president's son somewhere else not my man?
Calm down Slindo and ignore her but how can I
went she throws comments everywhere.
Doesn't she have a career in what she studied
that will keep her as busy ? A knock on the
door comes and i turn around.
“Good morning Mrs Ndlovu, Uhm Mr Ndlovu is
asking for you downstairs. He said he is about
to departure without you ” I don't have time to
correct her.
“Ok , I am coming. You can take a day off” I
take the suitcase and she takes it from my
hands.
I should be proud of myself, I had trust issues
with women around us but now I have no
problem it's just that one that ticks me off. I
take my bag and walk out of our bedroom. We
get outside and Nazo closes the boot and she
walks away. I hop inside the car and he does
the same.
The drive to the airport was very short in my
defense. We got out and our bags are taken
away. I hold Zabelo and Linathi.
We arrive in Pietermaritzburg and I am very
happy to be home. It's been so long and feels
refreshing as well.
“Anisebahle , yoh ngathi nigeza ngobisi ( You
all look so beautiful, it's like you bath in milk)”
Nazo chuckles.
“Wozani kugogo ( Come to granny)” they rush
to hug her.
We settle on the couches.
“Thembile , bring something to eat” my
grandmother says.
“We are not staying we have to go to Msinga for
an unveiling”
“You are not going to even drink juice. Hayi
Slindo”
“Sorry but we have to rush”
“You should come back and drive me to church
Snazo” she wants to show off I know.
“I will” he chuckled and I stood up with Nazo. I
shared a hug with my kids and my
grandmother
We said our good byes and we walk out and got
in the car. Nazo signaled the driver and he
nods and drives the car off.
“I am not ready for the drama from your aunts”
I say.
He pulls me to him and I lay my head on his
chest.
“I don't care what they say” he says
“I don't care as well ” he runs his fingers on my
arm.
___________
The car is parked and they are ululating around
out. We get out of the car and the aunt's are all
over Nazo , it has been long since we both came
here. Well I came here and it feels refreshing to
be here as well. He chuckles and his sisters are
all over him. He pulls me closer to him and one
of the aunt's frown.
“Popayi ! ” Nazo's father comes and they share a
hug and he gives me one as well.
“How are you Makoti ?”
“I am well Baba ” I say. The aunts scoff and
walk off.
“Lets go inside ” we went inside and we
greated. I was given stares as to that but Nazo
was by my side throughout.
I was pulled to the kitchen to 'Help out' but it
was only a gossip session with me there. I
chose to ignore every conversation and just
carry on with the duties at that moment.
“Awupheli layikhaya ( You can't leave this
family )” one of the aunt's say.
“I am sure there is some Sangoma she goes to
because Wow ” One of them says.
I finish peeling the potatoes and I put them in
the bucket full of water. I wash my hands and I
walk out of the door. I hear them still talking. I
didn't expect them to like me but the last
statement hurt my feelings. I should've
prepared for those words. As I was walking
away I bumped into someone.
“Sorry” I say
“Slindo” I look between them and smiled
“Sakhile , How are you ?”
He puts one hand in his pocket and another
around the lady's waist. She looks pregnant.
“I am good ”
He looks at me and I look at the lady.
“Hi , I am Slindo” she stretches her hand and
looks at me in a shady manner.
“Fezeka,Sakhile's Baby mama ” oh I see, why is
she emphasising that ?
“Nice to meet you, Congratulations”
“How are the kids?” I turn to Sakhile.
“Ok , Nazo must be looking for me ”
I walk away from them. I couldn't find Nazo , I
didn't go back to the kitchen instead I found
Sane. She needed alcohol so we got money and
made our way out of the yard. We will find the
nearest shop.
“How are you feeling ?” she says as we are
walking ”
“About?”
“Sakhile and his lady?”
“It doesn't involve me. Wheather he is ok or
not with her I don't want to be involved. I have
Nazo”
“Yah, things went left for him after you guys
broke up but he is recovering slowly” she says
“Thats good”
“So how is Mr Minister treating you ?” she
smiles wide.
“Heaven sent. It's just the president's daughter
giving me trouble. ”
“Do you trust Nazo?”
“Yes”
“Then you have no woman to worry about.
What you should do is show that man things no
woman can”
“I will”
The walk was long till we reached a shop. She
bought two 6 packs and we sat there. She said
that Sikelela forbid her from drinking as last
time she went overboard but here we are
drinking together. We talk about alot of things
and I ask her about Amahle. She hasn't been
taking my calls for some time and she says the
same thing. I hope she is ok. She buys another
pack and we keep on drinking, it's getting dark
and we are here.
“Its 19h00 we should go ” I say.
I stand up and I almost fell but I held onto her
shoulders.
“Come Sane ” I pull her up and she stumbles.
We are so drunk.
“Can you see the way ? ” she asks me
Can I even remember the way ?
“I don't ”
We hold onto each other.
_____________
“Kumnandi ukuhlala udakiwe
Kumnandi ukuhlala udakiwe
Umsombuluko
Ulwesibili , ulwesithathu
Ulwezine , ulwesihlanu
Umgqibelo isonto ! Kumna..” Sane is singing.
“Sane there is a car coming ” I say
I see the lights shining our way. The car looks
very familiar.
“They are coming. Throw the bottle away ! ” she
does next to the bush quickly. We are
panicking.
The car stops infornt of us and Nazo is out first
followed by Sikelela and the rest. He doesn't
look pleased. I swallow while looking at Sane
“Where were you two?” Sikelela asks
“We went to buy airtime.” Sane lies
Nazo looks between the both of us.
“Stand on one foot, both of you” he says.
We look at each other.
“Let go of each other ”
We are in big trouble. We do and try to stand
on one foot but we are struggling. Sikelela's
anger is more visible and Nazo , I can't read
him. He comes and picks me up. We are put
inside the car and it starts. I look at Sane and
she sticks her head out of the window and
vomits. Sikelela clicks his tongue and pulls her
in and closes the window. She is in trouble that
one but I don't know where I am standing with
Nazo. He is not talking as the car moves.
We get home and we get out. Sikelela and Sane
are gone to their flat. I get out as well and walk
off leaving Nazo , I get in room we will use and I
lay on the bed looking at the ceiling. He walks
in with a bathing basin and he looks at me.
“Bath ” he says and I get off the bed and I strip
my clothes. He sits on the bed and looks at me.
I bath my body and I get done. He takes the
water away as I get dressed in my night ware.
He comes back and he stands by the door and
looks at me.
“Are you angry at me ?” I ask. He doesn't show
any emotion.
“I am ”
“I am sorry”
“Dont try and soften me. What if you got
stolen?”
In a rural area? Maybe but I doubt. That's not
the point. He is angry at the moment.
“Why are you dressed?” I look at myself and he
unbuckled his belt.
“Slindokuhle ”
“Mmh ?”
He gave me a look and I undressed. I felt sober
same time. I don't know that he will do. He
picked me up and he took the belt and tied my
hands with it and threw me on the bed and
went to lock the door.
“Nazo”
He came back and took off his top. I swallowed.
“I wanted to do something special.” His hand is
on the back of my neck. My heart is beating
fast.
“I am sorry”
“How many bottles did you have ?”
I am scared of saying.
“Slindo” his voice sounds calm yet he is angry.
“We had three 6 packs of Savanna ” I could feel
his breath on me.
He let go of my neck and untied me, he fiddled
with his pocket and threw a small box my way
and it landed on my thighs.
“I will be back”
He walked out banging the door. I jumped a bit
and opened the box. It had a ring , Was he
going to propose? I wore my pyjamas , I
wanted to follow him out but I should maybe let
him calm down. I feel so bad now.
I waited for him and he came back late. I stood
on my feet as soon as he walked in.
“Nazo”
He kisses my lips and I responded. His grip
around my waist was tight. He pushed me on
the bed and got on me. I broke the kiss.
“Nazo”
_________
My throat is scratchy. We haven't talked since
last night and I saw another side of him I didn't
know. My whole body is in pain and I feel like
I have been hit by a truck. I got off the bed as
he was getting dressed and I stood behind him.
I touched his shoulder and he stopped moving.
“Its ok” I say and he turns and looks at me. He
removes the cover from my body and he
touches it softly.
I know sex but that one was quiet different. It
was something I don't know,he was releasing
his anger and also punishing me at the same
time. His hand moves to my neck and my body
shivers and he sighs. I place my hand on his
cheek and I give him a perk.
“Let me get dressed ”
“No , you can rest ” he couldn't look at me.
“Nazo” he looks at me.
“I am sorry ”
I turn and I go and take the box and I give it to
him . He looks at it and he opens it and takes
the ring out before we look at each other. He
swallowed, he takes my hand and I let him. He
slips it on my left finger and he kisses my hand
in the process after that. I look at it and it looks
amazing. We share a kiss as well.
“I love you ” I say
“I love you too Thembalam”
I rest my head on his chest and listen to his
heart beat.

CHAPTER FOURTY ONE

I bathed and got under the covers , I am tired

and I won't go outside. It's an intimate
ceremony. They always do it like that when it's
these kind of stuff. I rested at that moment and
was later woken up by someone shaking me
softly. I opened my eyes sitting up and it was
Sane. The first thing she did was gasp.
“Oh my God Slindo !”
“What ?”
She touched my neck and I pulled my hoodie up
a bit .
“Dont even try and hide his evil deads. How can
he hit you !” she says
“He didn't hit me ” I am speaking the truth
“Why is your neck purple then ?”
“We just had sex that's all ”she claps her hands
once.
“This is overboard no , this can't be. What if he
choked you to death ” I thought choking is part
of such festivities.
“Is that done when you...”
“Yes but not this. He was killing you. ” she says
“Oh”
She gave me food and touched my neck.
“I assume he did damage since you are here ”
she says
“Just the neck and waist” she shook her head,
and where my ribs are located. My wrists and
ankles too from tying me. Is it normal ? I am
sure the bruises will fade away
“Slindo” she shook her head.
I looked away, she is making me think about
this. No , Nazo wouldn't hurt intentionally.
There is a soft knock on the door and I pull the
hoodie closer to me and the door opened. Sane
looks between us and stands up.
“I will see you later ” I nod and she walks out.
The door is closed.
“I understand if you want to leave ” he says and
I stand up and put the plate aside.
I stand Infront of him
“I am not leaving. These are just minor bruises,
They will fade”
“Slindo...” I interrupt him.
“I am not going anywhere ” I hug him and he
sighs. He kisses my forehead.
Silence is between us .
“I told dad about the ring” he says. We haven't
labeled if it's a promise ring or what?
“What it for ?”
“I would like for you to be my wife ” I giggle
while in his embrace.
“What were you planning on doing yesterday?”
“I wanted to pop the question Infront of
everyone ” I can already see his sister's face
with hatred.
“We need to run this through the elders”
“I have talked to Sakhile's father”I wonder
when
“Yesterday” he continues. Oh I see.
I remove my head from his chest and I perk his
lips.
“How about I stay off alcohol for a while ?” I
suggest.
“Yes ” so it's settled.
“This looks nice” I look at my ring and he holds
my hand.
“It suits you very much ”
__________
I went on my knees on the grinite and I placed
my hands on my knees. I miss her every single
day. Thoughts flood in of how she would've
grown now. The first best thing I have ever had
in my life. I pull the hoodie quiet close and wipe
the tears from my eyes. A huge part has always
been missing she the day God took her away.
She was supposed to bury me but I did that.
I wish I can hold her at the moment. If heaven
had visiting hours I would visit my daughter ,
give her kisses and feel her hug. I would want
to hear her voice calling out to me. It has been
9 years since I lost her but the wound is
bleeding . It has never closed but I have only
learned to love with it.
I hear foot steps behind me and I don't move
from where I am. Instead I run my fingers on
the grinite and over her name. She was mine
and mine alone. She was everything that I had
in life and more. She was all that I needed to
have fulfilment and happiness those moments.
“I miss her ” I hear his voice behind me but I
don't turn.
“Me too” I reply.
He comes forth and crouched next to me.
“Slindo ” I turn and look at him. He is looking
at Owami's tombstone
“I was a mess and a fucked up person ” he says.
“And no , I don't want us back together. I see
you are happy where you are . I hope ” he says
looking at my left hand. I look at it too.
“I am happy ” I say.
“I am glad ”
There is silence.
“The kids...”
“If you want , they can visit you ” I say
“I would love that ” he says looking at me.
“I will speak to Nazo” he nods.
I pull the hoodie together.
“Is it a girl ? ” he shakes his head.
“Its a boy ”
“More you's” he chuckles and brings his hand
forth.
“To moving on ” I let out my left hand.
“To moving on ”
“I will see you ” I nod and he walks away. I stay
rooted where I am.
The weather is changing and it's a bit chilly as
well but I won't move where I am till I am
satisfied. I keep on running my hands on the
tomb stone while at that.
_________
After a while I moved from where I am and I
went to help out in the kitchen. Sane gave me
looks as she wants to talk but she didn't say
anything.
“Amehlo ami yini lawa Chiliza noma ukuguga !(
Is it my eyes Chiliza or is it old age ?)” one of the
aunt's said. I have accepted I am not liked and
won't try my best to please people who can't be
pleased.
The one next to me holds my hand and she
looks at the ring squinting her eyes and then
let's it go , she claps her hand.
“Ayi Dade yikho ( it is )” she says with attitude.
“Call Snazozonke and Sakhile ! No man this
can't be !”
“Whats with the noise ?” Nazo's father walks in
and he frowns.
“I don't want her here ! ” His sister says.
“I will leave baba ” I say.
“You are not going anywhere ”
“Haibo , ngiyalingwa umah yini !( My
goodness!)” she claps her hands and I am
standing there silently.
“6 feet under ngaphambi kokuthi
kubenomthakathi layikhaya ( I would rather
die than have a witch in this house )" the other
one says shooting daggers at me.
“Should I kill you ? Slindo is not going
anywhere ” Nazo's father says.
“Haibo Bhuti , uyisho kanjani leyonyo kudade? (
how can you say that to your sister?)”
“You !” the other aunt rushes to me and I move
back. Nazo grabs me and puts me behind him.
“Aunty kwenzakalani lah ( What is going on
here ?)”
“She must go, she is here to destroy you boys ”
“Aunty calm down and stop being dramatic.
Slie has done nothing wrong ” Sakhile says.
“No , she has you under her spell I know !” she
pats her hips.
“You are marrying her ? From one Ndlovu to
another. You have no shame ntombazane.
Abakufundisanga kini sies ! ( girl , the didn't
teach you at home sies !)” One of them say.
“We are leaving ” Nazo says. It's the middle of
the night. He takes my hand and the racketing
starts again.
“Its late Nazo we can't leave ” he picks me up an
throws me over his shoulder.
“Nazo put me down ” he doesn't listen.
We get to the room we are using and he puts
me on the bed and he takes our suicases and he
loads our things inside roughly. He stops for a
moment and his body is shaking. He punches
the door and a hole is made. I jump and I move
back to the wall. The door is opens and his
father just holds him quickly.
“Yehlisa umoya Popayi( calm down ), Not
Infront of her ” not Infront of me ? What was he
going to do ? Now I am more scared.
“Go outside Makoti. ”
“She is not going anywhere.” His voice is husky
and much deeper.
“Makoti ..” his father says and I get of the bed.
Nazo gets off his father's grip quiet quickly and
now I am rushing out. He gets hold of me and I
close my eyes. He wraps his shaking arms
around me and we are silent. His breathing is
very heavy.
“Nazo you are crushing me ” I say and he lets go
of me and walks away. He disappears in the
dark. I look at his father.
“Give him time ” he says. I nod confused.
“I should go ” he pats my back and walks away.
I stand there for a second taking in everything.
I turn and I walk back inside and I look around.
This is a mess ,I went to our suitcases and I
packed everything neatly and I sat on the bed. I
wait , wait for Nazo to come back and
eventually he did.
“Lets go ”
I don't say anything but grab our bags and we
are on our way out. He doesn't even want us to
say good bye and soon we are gone like that. I
don't look back but look at him and he doesn't
look at me. What a stay ! A rough one that is. I
can't wait to get back home but the only thing
that I will need is the kids , I know my
grandmother wouldn't let them go so early.
I sigh while looking out of the window and he
goes to his phone and looks at it before he
throws it on his lap and looks defeated. I am
sure it something that has to do with him and
the media is involved. I look at my ring and
twist it. He hasn't cheated, nor hit me. He
prwapred me and made me aware of such
moments and I guess these are it. I move my
hand and I hold his and he doesn't look at me
but I feel him hold mine and I relax a bit.

CHAPTER FOURTY TWO

“MINISTER SOON TO BE OFF THE MARKET ”

I read that out loud and I put my phone down
and I drink my coffee. Tomorrow I am going in
to work and I am not ready for any person
following me around because it's going to be a
scene now that our engagement is out there. I
lick my lips and I carry on having my breakfast.
“Good morning Mrs Ndlovu ” I sigh. I won't
correct her anymore. I just flash a smile.
“Good morning”
“Mr Ndlovu would like to apologise , he won't
be joining you for breakfast today ”
I close my eyes and sigh before opening them.
“He is still in the guest room ?” I ask
“Yes ” What's happening with Nazo.
“His meetings ?”
“He canceled everything for the whole week”
“The boarder security meeting ... Uhm you
know what. Thank you ” I smile and she nods
and walks away.
I remove the cloth from my thighs and I take
my phone. My phone rings and I ignore it and
just switch it off. Journalists have been calling
me since morning. I walked up the stairs and
went to the spare bedroom and I knocked
lightly.
“Thembalami ” I say.
Silence , he is not answering the door, I knock
again and the door opens. He looks horrible
but still handsome. My focus isn't there. I just
hug him and he heaves a sigh.
“I am here ”
He is silent. I want him to talk like he always
does. I don't know what is going on inside his
head. We got inside and I closed the door. He
lays himself on the bed and he just breaks
down. I stand there a bit not knowing what I
should do but when to him and I held him close
to me.
“Shh it's ok ” he wipes his tears vigorously and
sits up. He goes to the bathroom and I look at
the direction he went.
He comes back and looks at me.
“Nazo talk to me ” I say and he sits next to me
and lays his head on my lap.
I am worried.
“I tried not hating them ” he says softly.
I want to ask who but let me leave him to telling
me himself.
“They created an angry monster. ” I keep quiet
, I run my fingers through his hair.
“I am sorry” he says.
“Its ok”
“I have IED” I stop running my fingers through
his hair.
“What is that love ? ”
“Mental disorder” I swallow.
“Like Bipolar ?” I didn't want to say that.
“No , difference is I don't rely on pills ” I nod.
“I just learn how to control my anger. ” he
continues
“What does IED mean ?”
“Intermittent explosive disorder” I run my
fingers on his cheek bones.
“I get too angry and agressive , yesterday was
the result.” he continues
“What caused it ? ”
“Them”
“Who is them ?”
He is silent.
“My father's sisters” he says.
I kept quiet. I feel his breathing becoming
heavy.
“Calm down. ”
“Girls aren't the only people who get raped” my
body froze at that statement.
__________
I have decided that today I am going to cook
since I have time on my hands. I let Nazo have
some rest. I can't get his words out of my head.
He just dropped that bomb and didn't really
clearify , it's not like he is obliged to do so but I
have alot of questions that need answers. I
switch off the stove when I am done and I go to
the fridge and take out some ice cream. The
door bell rings and I know it's being answered. I
hear footsteps and the mighty queen walks in. I
put my hand on my hip while holding the ice
cream tub.
“Congratualtions are in order I see ” she says.
“Sisi kuyabingelelwa layikhaya. ( sis you greet
in this house) I didn't sleep with you and don't
just budge in my house like that ” I say
“Ouch , good day then ”
“Thank you. Is that all ? ” I ask.
“Slindo..” Nazo walks in and looks at the
president's daughter and frowns.
“Mr Minister” she smiles.
“Uhm hi , do we have a meeting ?” he asks.
“No , I just came to congratulate you two ”
“Oh ”
Nazo perks my lips.
“You will find me upstairs ” I nod and he walks
off.
“The same way” I point to the exit and she turns
around.
Nx , I take the spoon and I walk up the stairs. I
get in the main bedroom and he comes out of
the bathroom.
“I don't eat ice cream” really he doesn't like
sweet things
“Well I will eat for you then ” I open it.
“Baby ” I say
“Mmmh ”
I lick the spoon.
“What did they do ?”
“Slindo” he sighs.
“I moved with my father because of them. Our
family never got along after that. It was four of
them. Angithi they are younger than my father,
they were between highschool and varsity that
time. I was the only boy child and ...” I stop
him.
“You don't need to explain ”
“My father never went back home for years
until I was in my 20's that's when my
grandfather passed on. He wanted his kids to
make amends. Don't be fooled by alot of things
Slindo. My father is ...” he kept quiet. I kiss his
lips.
“I love you ok ?” he nods.
“I love you too”
He holds my waist.
“Ungishada nini ?( When are you marrying me
?)” I laughed.
“I don't know ” he kisses me and I respond.
We break the kiss.
“I think we should stop going back there ” He
suggests.
“No , that won't look good” I say.
I look at him.
“Thats why you were never there on most
events ” he nods.
“I am sorry”
“Dont feel bad for me. Love me ” I giggle
“I love you ” I look at him and he kisses my
forehead and goes to my nose and locates my
lips again.
____________
He looks at me and I am looking at him. His
hand loosens from my neck and goes to my
boobs and he kisses my check softly. I wrap my
arms around his upper body and I close my
eyes moaning. His thrusts haven't picked up as
he is still going. I remove my hands from his
upper body when I feel another wave coming. I
orgasim and he pulls out. He turns me around
on holds my waist. He thrusts in going deep
and I moan while fucking my bottom lip behind
my teeth.
“Nazo” I say softly.
He goes quicker and a bit rougher than before
but it brings pleasure. His grip on my waist is
going to leave mark just like the rest. He groans
and we are in synchrony , I hold onto the sheets
a bit tighter and he explodes inside of me. I
drop dead on the bed and he gets off. He goes to
the bathroom while I catch my breath and he
comes back and I can feel him laying his body
ontop of me.
“What If I am pregnant and you are pressing on
us ?” I say
“I am sorry then ” he kisses my cheek.
“You like that kind of sex?” I ask.
He is silent.
“Its different but nice ” some parts of it. It's
foreign to me.
“What more should I expect from it ?” I
continue
“Lets rest” he doesn't want to talk about it. Ok.
I close my eyes and let my tired body shut
down.
_________
“I will go and get the doctor for you ” I say to
the patient and she nods.
I walk out of the ward and I walk through the
corridor. I went to the reception unit for the
surgical ward unit.
“Please ring doctor Thabethe. His patient is
having some effects ” she nods and I take the
file and I go around.
“Can I see your ring ?” oh god. Couldn't I be
invisible at work. I turn around and I give her
my hand and she looks at it.
“Yoh! Yinhle oe. Abazalwa bembethe ( It's so
beautiful , Those who are born blessed)” I take
my hand.
“Are we invited to the wedding ?” one of them
asks.
“He wants it to be family only and intimate ” I
lie. We haven't spoken that far but I would
want something like that.
“Bummer. Is he taking second wife ?” haibo sisi.
“No, he doesn't like polygamy ”
“You may never know ”
She turns around and I look at her. Doctor
Thabethe comes rushing while in scrubs. I am
sure he comes from surgery.
“I am here”
I wet to him and gave him the file. He looks at it
and walks off.
“Nalo nje mangingamthola kungakuhle ( If I
could get that one. It would be wonderful)”
they keep on talking.
I carry on working, my phone vibrates and I
take it out. It's a message from Nazo.
“I am fetching you” oh good. I don't like being
driven, I hope he is ok.
“I will be back ”
I walk off and I went to the bathroom. I made a
call.
“Makoti.” I smile.
“Baba ”
“How are you ?”
“I am well ” I sigh
“Nazo” I say
“What did he do ?” he says quickly.
“Nothing. He told me some parts and I am
worried about him. It has never happened
before so I don't know how to handle him when
I am alone ”
“If you are in a room just lock him in and leave ,
come back after hours ”
“We discovered that he breaks doors” I say.
He laughs , really laughs and I hear him cough a
bit.
“I don't want to scare you Makoti but the only
thing that has made Nazo cope before was
Justice. He was once a police before did he tell
you that ?” I shook my head.
“No ”
“He has been in the army before and worked as
an FBI for Community service and was in the
police force.”
“How did he end up a Private investigator?”
“I don't really know. He was always secretive
but never about his childhood with me. ”
“Oh I see ”
“You are getting married. Where are my
grandchildren?” oh Jesus.
“We are working on it ”
“I should tell him to shoot 5 so you can be done
one time ” yoh ! But that's not bad. Can we
actually do that ?
“Bye Baba ”
“Have you considered studying Medicine ? ” he
asks.
“I am in the medical field already”
“Ok”
“I have to go ” I nod
“Bye , thank you ”
“Thank you for being the right person for him ”
I smile. We hang up and I went back to work.
__________
I walk towards him and he smiles while
opening his arms. I dive right in and we share a
hug before he perks my forehead then lips.
“How are you ?”
“I am good” he opens the door for me and I get
inside.
He goes the other side and he gets inside as
well.
“It was a hectic day today” I say.
“I should get you a massage. ”
“That would be nice ” I smile.
“I will work on myself. I will work on
containing my anger ”
“Are you angry now ?” he shakes his head.
“I am calm. ”
“Your calmness sometimes is scary.” he looks
and me and chuckles
“Don' t be scared ”
I nod.

CHAPTER FOURTY THREE

NAZO

I looked at her while she was still asleep , I

couldn't find any rest at the moment, I am
looking at this woman who has my heart locked
and only loving her. I have let her step in a
space that no one has ever stepped in before. I
try to touch her face but I stop myself from
doing so. I sigh at that moment and I take my
phone and I walk out of the bedroom and I
went down the stairs. I went out to the back
yard and I stood there. I looked at the pool and I
went to sit down on the pool chairs. I dialed the
number and it went through quiet quickly.
“Are you ok?” That's the first thing he asks and I
let out a breath.
“I am ok“ I say.
“And Slindo ?”
“She is ok. I didn't have an episode”
There is silence between us.
“It has surfaced and I don't want Sli..”
“Let her make that decision of staying or
leaving ”
I sigh.
“Nazo”
“Baba ”
“You don't know how much that girl loves you,
She wants to be there for you ”
“I love her so much. Nawe uyakwazi lokho ( you
know that too)”
“Do you know it ? Do you want to let her go just
so she can be happy with another man when
she can be with you?”
“I need her ” I say
“Good.This is all my fault ” I have never blamed
him.
“Its not ”
“You know when I took you from your mother
it's because I knew she wouldn't be able to take
care of you and I vowed to do so ...”
“Do you have a new girlfriend?” I ask
“Not yet”
“Dont you get tired?”
“No ” I shake my head.
“Go and sleep Popayi. We will talk” I have
gotten used to the name even at my age.
“Sure”
I hang up
“Its cold out here ” I turned around and she
came and sat next to me pulling the fleece.
There was silence. She turns and looks at me .
“Nazo”
“Mmmh?” she holds my face and makes me face
her.
“There is one thing I don't think I would be able
to do in this relationship” my heart was beating
fast. I expected this, her leaving me. I expected
it.
“I ..I understand Slindo ” I look away.
“I am glad you understand ” she moves from
her seat and sits on top of me.
“I am glad you understand that I won't be able
to stop loving you like you love me. We will get
through this together that I know because I am
here. It's my turn to be there for you and I love
you ” She perks my lips.
“I love you too” I hug her waist. I don't imagine
myself without her in my life.

SLINDOKUHLE

Its morning and we are having breakfast. I am

on News 24 and our pictures keep on appearing
and the engagement. I don't remember how it
got out but it's there and there is nothing I could
do. He has the last of his meal and he stands up
taking his things and comes to give me a kiss.
“I love you ”
“Enjoy your day ” he nods smiling and rushes
off.
The door is closed and I stand up from the
dining table and I take my phone. I need to go
shopping and maybe I could even find
something special for Nazo just to cheer him up.
I callmy grandmother in the process and hear
how she is and she first scolded me for not
telling her about me and Nazo getting married
but then moves on from that. I talked to my
kids and I miss them so much especially my
blabbering daughter. My grandmother also
touches on the topic of Sakhile and I have forgot
that he wants them to visit. I light her way and
she accepts only if he won't be a fool about it. I
say my good byes after that.
I went upstairs and I went to change into
something more comfortable. I felt a bit sick
for a moment and I went to the bathroom and I
vomitted. I wiped my mouth and I went to
wash my hands and face while brushing my
teeth. Must be the bacon because I didn't like it
today. I take my bag and car keys and I walk
out of the house telling the helper that I am
leaving. She is our house assistance more than
your regular helper. There is one for that. I am
off to the mall. My phone rings and it's my
father in law. I answer the phone call.
“Makoti ”
“Baba ninjani?( How are you ?)”
“I am well. Eh I wanted to talk about the Lobolo
situation ” oh that.
“Yebo baba ”
“Are you aware that the Bhengu family won't
recieve a letter from us but Sakhile's father ” I
am a Ndlovu already.
“Not really but I understand ”
“Kuhle ke Mntanami. Sokhuluma ( That's good.
We will talk)” he hangs up.
I put my phone away . I get to the mall and I
went around. It has been so long since I just
came and spoiled myself with my money. Work
and the kids had me down the most but I will
make the best of this moment. I went to do my
hair first before I went around shopping for
new things.
My phone rings while I am still picking out
some things and it's my fiancee, not my
boyfriend anymore. Sounds good saying that , I
answer the phone call while taking the green
dress Infront of me.
“Thembalam” he says in his charming voice,
sounds more cheerful as well.
“Baby , how are you ?”
“I am good. I am thinking of coming to the
house just to see you ”
“I am at the mall ” I say.
“I haven't got any notifications coming ” I
laugh.
“Thats because I am spoiling myself with
Slindokuhle's money not Yours ” I say.
“Ok, call me when you get home ”
“I will baby ”
He hangs up and I went onto carrying with my
shopping. I got what I want and I went to pay. I
got my things and I walked out and went to
another store.
By the time I was done I was tired. I bought a
take away. I will have on the way home , I sent
a message to Nazo letting him know I am going
home. I then drove off while having something
to eat. I went to fill in some petrol and I went
home right after that. I saw his car on the
driveway. I got out and I took my things. I
greet and went upstairs to our bedroom. He
was standing by the balcony. I placed
everything down and I went to him and held
him from behind.
“Hi” i say
“Hey”
“I got you something ” I say
“Is it lacy?” I giggle
“No ” he turned to me and I gave him a kiss.
“Come ” I took his hand and I went to open the
shopping bags. I took out his gift and gave it to
him.
“I didn't know what to get” he opens it and
smiles.
“I love it ” I got him cufflinks. It's hard getting a
man a gift.
I rush to the bathroom and I vomit inside the
toilet. I stand up and I flush. He is behind me
as I wash my mouth.
“Are you ok ?” he asks
“I am not sure. I will visit the doctor tomorrow”
“Ok” he kisses my forehead.
“I love you”
He isn't expressive with the matter we spoke
about. We just touched and go , I guess he is not
ready to move on from that. I place my hand
on his chest and I smile. I hope he heals one
day, I want him to heal from that
________
“Makoti !” We share a hug
He walks inside followed by the aunt's and
Nazo's sisters as well. The rest have came and I
am happy that my grandmother is coming this
side. Oh there she is , I run to them and I give
my kids hugs and kisses and they laugh.
“Mommy do we have two daddies?” Linathi
asks, oh that
“As many Daddies as you want ” i say and she
seems so happy to hear that! She rushes off
when she sees Sakhile and I kiss my boys and
they don't seem to want that.
“How are you ?” I ask my grandmother as I hug
her.
“I am well. You invited your mother and
siblings ” I nod.
“Thats good. Othi ngibhone lesithabathaba
sakho ( Let me see your mansion )” I laugh as
she walks inside.
I go and join in with everyone. It's Nazo and I's
engagement party and tomorrow we are having
a family lunch all together. In replacement of
the Lobolo. The only thing Nazo did was pay
Sakhile's father so he can take me as his wife
and that's it. I have already been introduced to
the family .
This past two months have been wonderful , 3
years with this man were quiet amazing as
well.
“This looks wonderful”Sane says with a glass of
wine in her hands.
“Thank you ” I kept on looking at the door
waiting for Amahle.
“She is coming. She confirmed that she has
arrived. ” Sane says and I breathe out and
smile.
“Ok then ”
“Can I steal her?” It's Nazo
“Take her to the bedroom if you want” she says
winking. I am flushed with this one and Nazo
just lightly chuckles.
“Thembalam ” i smile and he takes my hand
and kisses it.
“I will make this worthwhile ” I know he will.
“come let's go mingle ” He takes my hand and
we go and mingle with our family and partly
friends.
Food is being served and drinks. I get some
juice while at that and get to eat. I excuse
myself and go to the kitchen a bit to get some
water.
“Bambe lingashoni” I turn around and I don't
see anyone. I take the bottle and go to join
everyone else.

CHAPTER FOURTY FOUR

He walks in with a bottle of warm water and

hands it to me. He goes and wears his black
vest and proper shorts. I open the bottle and I
drink the water.
“Come we are leaving ”
“Nazo ” I say while holding the sheets.
“If I don't feel better we will go ok ?” I assure
him. He doesn't seem convinced. It's 3 am in
the morning and I am having some heart burn.
It's quiet painful and there is nothing we could
do for now. The pharmacy is closed , I don't
know one that is open at this hour .
“I am worried ” he says.
“Please call my grandmother. She will know ”
he nods and rushes out of the door. I put the
water aside and I curl myself.
He soon walks in with her and she comes to my
side and holds my hand.
“Where is the pain ?” she asks.
“I feel the heart burn” she places her hand on
my stomach.
“Do you have barcabonate of soda?” I nod.
“I will get it ” Nazo rushes out of the door.
“Shhh , don't cry. Everything will be ok ” she
says and I nod.
“You look beautiful ” I smile a little.
“Thank you”
“You know what makes you more beautiful?”
she is distracting me from focusing on the pain
I know.
“No ”
“Your beautiful heart. That is what makes you
more beautiful” I nod.
“Do you feel it ?” she asks.
“What ?”
“Be strong on Prayer yezwa? Khona ababophe
inhliziyo ( there are people who are not happy)”
a tear dropped from my eyes .
“Musa ukukhala( don't cry)”
“Ok” she smiles and kisses my forehead.
Nazo walks in with what is needed. My
grandmother made me lick it and laid me
upside down and made me drink warm water.
“You will be fine ” i nod , she kisses my
forehead and walks out. Nazo comes back to
bed after closing the door.
I hold his hand and he kisses it then my
forehead.
“How are you feeling now ? ” he asks.
“I will be ok. You ? ”
“I am ok”
“Really ? ” he sighs and nods while kissing my
forehead.
“I am ok” I nod.
_________
I woke up in the morning feeling a bit better
from the heart burn but I was vomiting like
always. After that I went to take a shower and
Nazo joined me inside. We had a little chat at
that and a little naughty time here and there.
We got out and went to get dressed. , I left him
there so I can go downstairs and help with
making breakfast.
I walk down the stairs and everyone is up
already , Early in the morning and alcohol is
already being downer. I greet everyone.
“Food is ready!” Nazo's sister says.
We all move to the outside so we can have
breakfast. Not all of us will fit on the dining
table so the outside has more sitting space and a
better view as well. We are all served and we
are eating , Nazo joins in and stories get shared
around. Mostly about their child hood except
Nazo's that one is not even touched by his
father. It's really brave of this man to still look
and take these people in this house to
accommodate them. We didn't invite his aunt's
but here they are and he is taking all of him to
not act out. I am proud of that. We get done
and and pack the dishes up and go to the
kitchen to wash the dishes.
“Your house Mntase ” Amahle says. Reminds
me of Nosi alot this one.
“Not yet but soon ”I say as we wash the dishes.
“This is yours and that man could give you
anything you want ” sane says while sipping
whatever is in the mug. Assuming it's wine.
“Sikelela will be angry with you ” she brushes
me off.
“Hayi wena ongiyeke ( Leave me alone )” we
laugh.
“Who will make lunch ?” Amahle asks.
I won't. There are alot of people. We got people
to prepare that for us today and I am excited
about it as well.
“Catering ” I say and she nods.
We get done with the dishes and went to join
the others. Nazo couldn't get his hands off me
and It's good to see Sakhile trying to be in touch
with his children. I wonder what really changed
with him. I feel a bit hot as we are sitting but I
guess it's the weather outside. It is hot as well
today so that might contribute. I was feeling
small cramps but I went to drink some water
and saw one of Nazo's sister in the kitchen
spilling milk inside the drain .
“Everything ok?” why is she doing that ?
“Yes , the milk is spoilt ”
“Oh , ok then” I walked out of the kitchen.
The catering team comes and the little set up
outside is done for the family lunch. We are
also getting prepared. We dress semi formal
and I turn around when I am done. Nazo takes
my hand and takes off the ring.
“What are you doing ?” I ask and he just smiles.
“Looks beautiful ” he looks at my hand and I
shake my head.
“Come let's go ” we walk down the stairs to the
outside and everything looks perfect and in
place.
Everyone is cheerful and in a happy mood and
so am I. I hold Nazo's hand and I feel a sharp
pain on my chest and abdomen and I grip on
him a bit. That came rather too sharp. I hold
my chest.
“Baby are you ok ?” he asks worried, it fades
off.
“Uhm yes I am. Just ...I am ” I smile at him.
“Are you sure ? ” I nod
“Lets go” we walk to the table and he pulls a
chair for me and sits me down.
He is standing.
“Thank you for everyone who is here with us
today ” he swallowed looking at his aunt's and
looks at me.
“Thembalam ” he smiles and I do the same
“No words can amount to how much I love you
and grateful to have you in my life ”
He looks down and looks at me.
“I love you Slindokuhle”
“I love you too ” I stand up and kiss his cheek.
He holds my waist and kisses my forehead and
lets me go. He goes on his knee and sticks his
hand in his pocket and he takes out Ucu and I
am shook
“I know it should be the other way around
kodwa I just wanted to give you this ” I give him
my hand and he puts the bracelet on.
It looks beautiful.
“Thank you ” he then takes out a small box and
he opens it.
My heart beat is racing. It's the feeling , the
moment that gets you emotional at this point.
Even though I have said yes but the moment
makes it feel so new. The ring is new as well.
“Thembalami , Will you marry me ?”
I smile and I nod , he takes my hand and my
grandmother is the First one to Ululate. I feel a
sharp pain from my abdomen and I place my
hand on my stomach and chest. It stops same
time. I wonder what's going on. He stands up
and we share a small perk.
“We have an announcement to make ” Nazo
says.
“This day keeps on getting interesting ”
Bab'Ndlovu says
“Its a special one as well” Nazo says.
It is really. I take the box next to me and place it
on the table.
“Can we have some drum roll?” They laugh and
start drumming the table.
Nazo opens it and takes out the little shoes and I
pull out as well.
“We are expecting !”
“Oh my God , I am an aunty !” Sane Screams.
Yes we are expecting and I am just two months
pregnant. I am excited and everything seems to
be going well.
“Congratulations guys ”
“Thank you ” I say
Nazo kisses the side of my head.
“About damn time ” Nazo's father says and we
laugh. I feel the sharp pains again and I start
coughing.
“Baby are you ok?” I feel like my chest is closing
in.
I keep on coughing and I spit blood out and
some come out of my nose.
“Get her to the hospital. ”
Nazo picks me up quickly. I try to breath but I
can't properly. I keep on coughing and the pain
on my abdomen is exceeding.
“The baby Nazo” That's all I say
“Hold on baby ” he places me on the car and his
father gets in with Afika. We are at the back.
Blood is running through my thighs. I hold
Nazo's hand.
“You are going to be ok, You are going to be fine
” He keeps on saying. I can see how his eyes are
glossy. I hold his hand.
“Na..Nazo” I cough. I place my hand on my
stomach
“Fuck ! Can't we get to the hospital right now ! ”
He bangs his hand on the seat. His body is
shaking.
“We are trying Bafo , calm down ” Afika says
“Slindo don't you dare close your eyes !” he says
“Snazozonke!” his father says
“Don't !” Nazo says
I feel a bit cold. I am shivering. I hold his
hands and place them on my stomach. A tear
runs from his cheek and he starts punching the
seat Infront of him.
“Fuck , Fuck ! ”
“Calm down ”
His breathing patterns have changed. I cough
in the process

The End

I hold onto the sink as I am done washing the

dishes, my tears have dried up. I wipe my face
and I keep on cleaning the sink. I hear the foot
steps and feel his presence , smell his cologne. I
swallow the lump on my throat as I slowly wipe
the little drops just distracting myself a bit , I
don't want to talk because my voice will fail me
and I will break down any time soon.
“Maid ! ” It's the madam. I turn around and he
is looking at me , I look away and she walks in.
I bow my head.
“Madam” I say. I get a glimpse of him and he
has his jaws pressed and tightening them.
“My Underwear , you didn't wash it ! I said ...”
he holds her hand stopping her from throwing
the glass that's in her hand.
“That's enough ! You will not talk to her like
that Nelisiwe !”
She bawls her eyes out and she looks at him.
“N..” she tries to talk but he interrupts her
“Go upstairs and do your own laundry ! ” she is
angry but walks away clicking her heals. We
hear her little scoffs.
I turn around and I take the dishes and he
places his hand on my waist and I jump a bit.
“I am sorry” he says.
“Its ok ,I have work” I walk away from him and
went to stack the dishes away.
His presence is still felt. The door bell rings and
I leave the dishes
“That must be Nazo ” he says.
Nazo , it has been years since I last saw him. I
know that he is married and also a minister ,
that I read from the news papers Dabula always
came back with from work , old and sometimes
new as well. His wife is very beautiful yet all
the beautiful ladies always have something
dark planted in them. I went to open the door
and I looked at these people in front of me.
I move out of the way.
“Wow , it has been long. What are you doing
here ? You guys got back together? Oh this is the
love of my life ” he says rather to fast but his
eyes glitters when he mentions the lady next to
him, He hasn't even greeted me but looks like
his father more now .

I bow my head.
“Great to meet you ” I say
“Nice to meet you too” She smiles and the lady
of the house walks down the stairs.
“Where is my fiance ?” she asks
“Hello to you too” Nazo says.
“Excuse me ” I move away from them and fix
my doek and uniform properly.
I open the fridge and take out some beverages.
I close the fridge and she is standing next to me.
Her eyes red and seems to be ready to attack
me.
“He once told me before about you ” she looks
at me up and down.
“The only reason I hired you is because I want
to make you suffer. ”
I swallow.
“He is not the same man you met at the rurals
,got it ? I am the one getting married to him ” I
nod.
“Go and wash the curtains.” I just washed them
yesterday .
She walks away flicking her hair and her heals
drilling the floor and making so much sound. I
hold onto the counter and tears stream down
my cheeks. I held on the love I had for him for
10 years, I was married but still love him so
much and after my husband's death I came to
seek him. What was I expecting ? Him waiting
for me and holding on the words he preached
to me when I left. “I love you Mphefumulo
wami”. I remember him giving me my first ever
kiss and touch, the man who made me a woman
in just one night. The man who I saw a future
with but faded away as I sacrificed myself for
my family , sacrificed my happiness to please
them.
I sob softly and I hold onto my chest. I wish I let
go of the love I have for him , it wouldn't hurt. I
wish I could not see him love another woman
the way he promised to love me. I wish that I
wasn't here. I hear laughter and I wipe my
tears. I went to take a peak and there is
laughter. He is smiling , he kisses her forehead
and she leans on his chest. My heart cringes
and I run outside the kitchen. I take out my
phone as I am sobbing. It rings a few times
before she answers.
“Sisi ”
“I want to come home. I...i”
“Sisi ...” I sob , why do matters concerning the
heart hurt this much ?

THE RETURN ©2022Thando Mkhize

The Ndlovu series: Book 2

CHAPTER 1

The soil came in contact with the designed

wooden box. They sang their heart out as I went
on my knees and I touched the soil. It wasn't
bad. He wasn't a bad man at all , he tried his
best and so did I but our hearts weren't in it but
we stuck together.I pull my shoal together and
run my fingers on the soil. It's good that I
suggested he should have a funeral cover. Now
he is buried in dignity in such a place. I stand
up from the ground and dust myself.
“Woza Makoti( Come )” My mother in law pulls
me away from his last place of rest.
Dabula my husband was laid to rest today.
After being sick for 2 years he is now at rest
from all the pain and misery of this world. I
have been married to him for 10 years , I was
young when we got married but my mother
always said“You will Love him like I loved your
father” Did I love him? No I didn't love him but
cared for him so much, he also loves someone
else but his last words ring in my head. “I have
always loved you ” Loved me ? I only know
Love from one man and it's not my father nor
God above us. I am not referring to them. I am
referring to the man I left years ago. The man
who I truely love and haven't let go of him in
these years. I have always hoped we will get
back together. We promised to love each other
till we do , is he dead ? I hope not. Last time I
saw him he was in Msinga and I have to go back
home. My home where I was born.
We move towards the mud house and get
inside. I am sat on a chair in the kitchen and
my sister in law prepares a meal for me and
gives it to me. She smiles lightly
“Eat so you can gain energy” she says and I nod.
I pull the plate towards myself and I start
eating. Dabula back then was son to Induna of
Nongoma, they were rich in cattle and also land
but his father died and everything faded. I
believe that he went to a Sangoma to obtain
those riches. How could they fade so quickly? I
stayed after that. We became close and he
needed me then and I was always there for him.
My father doesn't know anything from this
family or if I am fine. All he knows is that I am
married here. If a phone call hasn't came in to
inform him of my departure from earth then it
doesn't concern him.
I push the plate away and Ciyela looks at me,
she wants to speak but something is holding her
back.
“Makoti ” My mother in law walks inside the
house and comes and stands Infront of me.
“Are you ok ?” I nod while smiling lightly
“Yes I am mah ” she nods.
“We are your family. You know that ” she says
“Yes ”
“I made food for you Mah, Chiliza is serving the
people from far ” Ciyela says. Chiliza is her
twin sister.
“Thank you ” she sits down next to me and eats.
___________
I am packing the clothes away, his working
clothes slowly into a big suitcase given by his
mother. I take the photo from my bed and I
look at it. I remember this photo of us. I was
young back then and he is the first man to show
me love , I held on it. I remember Afika taking
this one. I wonder if he has grown, ofcause he
has ! He was two years older than me. The
camera that took our last pictures , I wonder
where it is. I sit on the bed and I look at the
picture and run my fingers on it. I have kept it
well over the years. Will he remember me if I
seek him? Would he have moved on as well ? I
sigh and put the photo in my bag and I stand up
carrying on with packing away Dabula 's
clothes and his things. I only have one way to
find my answers and that is finding him
wherever he is.
I put the suitcase full of Dabula's clothes on the
floor and I push it under the bed. I went to
switch off the lights and got on it. I looked at
the roof and I turn to the side and look at the
empty space where my husband should be. He
just fell sick for years without any knowledge of
what it is and then he dies. I hope he finds
peace where ever he is going and remembers to
be a great ancestor over his mother and sisters.
I close my eyes and let sleep consume me.

The morning came and I woke up very early. I

went to get some wood while Ciyela went to
fetch water. I started collecting as much as I
can. My phone rang from my boobs and I took it
out , it's my sister. I don't want to talk to
her,Since she married someone from the city
she always wants to bring me down in order to
boost herself. Her husband works at a tire shop
and they live in a nice brick house in the city of
Durban. It has 4 rooms and she always tells me
about it. I look at the ringing phone before
answering.
“Dade ( sister)” she says.
“Dadewethu , Kuhamba kanjani ?( Sister , how
are you ?)”
“I am ok , I heard about Dabula. Sorry” I nod.
It's ok , they didn't even come to the funeral. I
felt embarrassed yesterday but now I have let
that go. They are still my family
“Its life. We just need to take it as it is ” I say
“My husband bought me a dress yesterday.
Ayibizi kanje. R200( it's expensive,R200)” I
smile.
“I am happy for you ”
“Has Dabula bought you anything once since
you married him ?” I never bothered with
clothes or anything. I knew his situation and
him working at the farm was for us to eat.
That's all.
“Cha ( No )”
“Yoh Ubunomnyeni boh( you had a husband )”
she says impolitely.
“He was a hard working man. That counts ” it
does .
“Yes. I have to go ke, ugade inkukhu lapho (
guard the chickens)”
She hangs up. I sigh after and take the wood
that I have and tie it up together. I walk back
home. Ciyela is already there with the water. I
start the fire and boil the water. I walk inside
the house and Chiliza is cleaning. My mother in
law is drinking tea quiet slowly.
“Mama ” I say and she looks at me.
“I need to go back home ” I say and she looks
sad, she places her tea on the little kitchen
table.
“Do we ill treat you ?” I shake my head.
“No, I would like to go home ” I say
“Ok” she smiles faintly.
“If you will visit me ” she adds. I nod
“I will ”
“You are leaving us ? ” Chiliza says. She is the
emotional one and I know she will cry soon.
“No, I will come back” I need to find the love of
my life. Nothing is holding me back now.
“Ok” she wipes her tears. I hug her and she
smiles and hugs me back, I was blessed with
this family.

I went to take the water and bathed after I was

done I got dressed. I picked out my best black
dress and I put a head wrap on my hair and I
wear my pumps. I look nice as well. Descent as
well. I take the little plastic and check my
money. It will take me to Msinga or will I just go
to Durban. I search for my journal and I wrote
down his number back then when I left. I have
tried it over the years and it never went
through “The number you have dialed does not
exist ” the White lady says. I sigh and go
through the addresses and I found one to the
taxi rank. I should hop out there. It's in Durban
that I know. Ok that means I am going there , I
pack my things and I take my bags and I walk
out of the bedroom. They look at me and
Sadness clouds them. Ciyela comes and hugs
me.
“Take care of yourself sisi”
“I am going to find him ” I whisper in her ear
and she smiles.
“Go then , don't forget about me ” she says
“I won't. I will call” she nods. I have always
found it easy to talk to her about the man I love.
They accompany me out and my mother in law
gave me the little she has and I thank her. We
walk to go and catch a taxi. I get one and I hop
inside when and they gave me my bags and
waved good bye and I did the same. I will miss
them surely.
I looked out of the window as the taxi drove off
, the scorching sun burning me from the
window side and the lady next to me pressing
me by the window but I didn't care. It's finding
him that's all I want.
__________
“Asambe asambe sisi wami !( let's go , let's go
my sister )” one of the driver's help this lady
with her bags,.
I have gotten off in Durban but I don't know
where I should really go , I am here yes. I am at
the taxi rank and by luck I got off here. I have
my little leather suitcase that was once my
mother's, I hold my bag close to myself. I have
the journal in my hands so I wouldn't be lost. I
kept on walking through the whole taxi rank
looking for him. His family owned Taxi's so I
assume this is why he gave me this address
Incase he moved from where he was.
“Can I help you ?” The guy asks and I shake my
head. I keep on walking around like I am crazy.
I sigh and stop where I am, I feel tired and it
was a really long journey from home to here,
the sun will settle soon if I don't find him and I
would be stranded here. My sister once made it
clear that we shouldn't visit her so I don't have
an option at all.
“Sorry, Sisi ume endleleni yami ( you are
standing in my way)” someone taps my
shoulder and I turn.
“Cholo ? ” oh my goodness, He has grown.
“Afika. ” he hugs me and I do as well. He is
muscular as well, we let go of each other. Our
camera man .
“What are you doing here ? I thought you were
in Nongoma” he says.
“I am here for Ntozakhona ”
“Oh, it has been years” he says
“I know” he places his hand in his pocket.
“I was on my way to his house dropping a taxi
off. I can take you there ” he suggests.
“Really ?” I feel excited and he nods smiling a
bit.
“You have grown ”
“Yes”
“Come ” he takes my bag and I follow after him.
He whistles to some taxi driver and before he
gets me inside the taxi and I thank him. I pull
my dress down as I have sat and he got inside
the taxi. He started it and drove off while
hooting for people to move out of the way.
“You were in Pietermaritzburg the last time I
remember” I say.
“Yeah, Sikelela got married so I had to move
here. He is with Qiniso and Sakhile ” he says.
“Oh , I saw Nazo is also married and a
Minister.” he nods.
“Yeah” I want him to tell me if Ntozakhona is
married as well or not.
“Sikelela and Nazo are married. ” I nod. I guess
it means he isn't.
He moves his eyes from the road and looks at
me.
“Why are you wearing black clothes?” he asks
“My husband passed on , I have to” I say, he
nods.
“How did they treat you ?” well , very well.
“They are a nice family ” I say . He nods.
“Afika...”
“Cholo”
“I still love him. Is it bad?” I ask. He is silent for
a moment.
“I don't know. We will see Cholo” I nod.
There is silence inside the taxi, he stops at the
garage to fill it up and he pays before driving
off. His phone rings and he takes it then
answer. I look outside the window looking at
the buildings we are passing by. He hangs up
after some time and plays some radio and it's
fading the silence away. We get in a nice
neighbourhood and I looked at the houses. I
smile while looking. He parks once we are
inside the yard and we both get out. I am
holding my bags close to me. I follow after him
as he walks off. He just opens the door and
walks inside. I wipe my feet and take off my
shoes before stepping on the cold tiles. He
places the keys on the coffee table. I look
around the house.
“Bafo !” he shouts. My heart is beating very fast.
What will expect , will he recognise me ? A
beautiful lady comes down the stairs with a
gown on and has a blind fold over her eyes. She
puts her hands on her hips looking a bit angry.
“Why are you shouting in my house?” she says.
“Where is Ntozakhona ?” Afika asks.
“He had to go to Pietermaritzburg quickly. He
will be back tomorrow”
Afika curses under his breath and the lady
looks at me.
“Who is this ?” she frowns. I hold my bags
tightly.
“She is Cholo. She just came , accomodate her. I
will be back when Ntozakhona is back”
“This is not a charity house ! ” she shouts as he
walks out.
I am rooted where I am. Her eyes land on me.
“Sit down ” she says and I go and sit down on
the couch.
“Listen here wena farm julia. This is my house ,
what I say goes. I am in need of a new maid or
you go home ” she says.
I don't have enough money to go back home.
“I...I don't have money ”
She is silent.
“Ok, you will work for it. You will be my maid
neh?” I nod. I don't want to disrespect her , I
was never groomed and taught in that manner.
“Go and clean this whole house. ” she walks up
the stairs stomping her feet. I breath out as she
walks away.
I take out my phone and use the little airtime I
have and I call Ciyela and tell her about my
arrival. She asks me if I have met Ntozakhona
and I tell her that he is away but he is married.
It feels like daggers have been stabbed in my
heart. I tell her I will come back as soon as I
have some money. We finish the call and I sat
there for a while.
_________
Breakfast , the most important meal of the day,
I made some porridge firstly. She gave me a
uniform and it's blue and white, she hasn't said
anything either than telling me what she eats.
When she said she wants a Farm house
breakfast everything went blank. I don't know
what that is so I stuck to porridge. I close the
pot once I am done and turn the heat down.
“Nelly !” a manly voice frightens me. It's
coming from the lounge area.
I go and peak and he is standing there placing
his keys. He rushes up the stairs, My heart skips
a beat and I smile. He is just as I remember him.
Grown and more like his father. I stood there by
the corner and watched him disappear. I
bursted out of my little bubble and went back to
working. I dish up the porridge and the Madam
of the house comes down the stairs , she is
dressed and looks wonderful. She places her
bag on the counter and she takes an apple.
“You are useless you know that. I said I wanted
eggs , bacon, sausages not this shit !” she hits
the pot and it spills the porridge on the floor.
“I am going to fire you and you will be
stranded. ” I swallow.
“I want the curtains washed and everything in
this house !” I nod.
“Ye..yes ”
“Yes inja yini wena ?!( Dog)”
“Yes Mam” I say. She clicks her tongue and
takes her bag walking off.
I went to take the cleaning supplies and I
started with cleaning the floor and the whole
kitchen once again.
I went to take out the curtains. It's quiet early
and I haven't seen him since I got a glimpse of
him. I put the curtains in the bathtub and
soaked them. I went in the two bedrooms and I
took them out as well. I was singing while
cleaning, I should call MaNdawonde When I am
done cleaning. I am sure she was worried about
my departure. I finally took them out and was
about to get down but the chair moved and
someone caught me.
“Hey easy there , you might break your bones...”
I look at him and he puts me down but his eyes
are still fixed on me. I look away
“Thank you , let me carry on with work” I move
away from him.
“Cholo” I stop and I turn to him.
“What are you do... Can you see me ?” I can see
him properly. I know him clearly and I want to
touch him.
“I am sorry” I walk off and hold the curtains
close to me as I feel a lump in my throat.
“Wait ” He is behind me. He stops Infront me
and he is examining me for a moment.
“Mp...” he stops himself from saying it. I know
what he will say and I want to hear him saying
it. He places his hands in the short pockets that
he is wearing. My eyes wonder off as well.
“I am engaged” that's all he says after long
silence. I plaster a faint smile while I felt a
lump in my throat.
He has moved on and he loves her , he wouldn't
marry someone he doesn't love unlike myself.
“I am sorry” he says.
“I...” I couldn't speak. My voice was breaking, I
move away from him and go to the bathroom to
wash the curtains. I close the door and I sob
softly as I am washing.
I want to go home now. He has moved on and I
got my answers, I should've let go of the love I
have for him 10 years ago.

CHAPTER 2

I didn't hate him , no I could never. What was I

expecting really ? All I want to do is go back
home. Did my father benefit from me getting
married to Dabula ? No he didn't gain anything
but I gained a wonderful family , more than
mine. I look at the white ceiling and I sigh. My
phone rings and I sit up from my bed. I take it
out , it's MaNdawonde , Dabula's mother. I sigh
before I answer the phone.
“Mama ”
She breaths out and starts chanting the
Ngwenya clan names , praising them.
“Oh I was worried. When are you coming back
? ” she asks. I don't know.
“I don't know Mah” I didn't want to worry her. I
want to go back KwaNongoma and stay there.
“I miss you my child ” she says. I wish she was
my mother. I wish my mother was still alive.
“I miss you too” I say
“Let me not keep you then. I will call when I
have airtime ” she says
“Ok , thank you ” she hangs up.
A knock on the door came. I was staying at the
outside room. Just R200 and I am gone back
home, I don't want to be held here and cause
conflict in this house hold. I went to open and
it's Afika.
“I want to go home ”
He looks at me.
“Cholo ...”
“You should've told me at the taxi rank ” I say , I
wouldn't be disappointed.
“I am sorry. I thought it would be wonderful if
you see each other ” it's not wonderful , not
wonderful at all.
“Its not ” I say softly . He fiddles in his pockets
and takes out his wallet. He looks through it.
“Eish I don't have cash” he says.
“I will work for it fairly ”
“Work?” he seems confused.
His phone rings and he takes it out.
“Sho Bafo” he frowns again.
“Ngilinde Ngase Pavilion Ngiyeza ( wait for me
by Pavilion Mall, I am coming )” he hung up.
“I have to go , I will be back” I nod and he
rushes off. The Madam comes towards me
dressed up.
It's a special day today from what I heard her
saying yesterday repeatedly. It's the day she
meets her in laws for the first time I presume.
They are an ok family so she will be fine.
“Yeyi wena. Go and wash my clothes , I need
them ironed and after you go and cook
traditional nonsense for my guests. They will
arrive soon ” I nod
“Yes Madam” she turns and walks away. I went
back inside the little cottage and wore my
shoes. I put my phone away and made my way
to the main house.
I check the coast and trying to avoid bumping
into him , it's clear. I walk up the stairs to the
bedroom side. I hear them talking.
“Why don't you let her go ?, we can find
another one just not this one ” I hear his voice
speak.
“No , I want this maid. I want her and that's
that Ntozakhona.” I hear him sigh.
“Please baby , just this once listen to me ”
“Listen to me. Your family is coming I need that
thing to prepare ”
“Don't call other people things "
I moved away from the passage and went in the
next bathroom. I sat on the toilet , I want to go
home. I can't stand being here as well, I hear a
hard knock on the door. I flush the toilet while
standing up and I go and wash my hands. I
went to open the door and she shoved the
basket in my hands.
“Go and wash ”
“Yes Mam” I walk off, I went down the stairs to
the laundry room.
I put the washing in the sink , I can't work this
rolling machine so I will wash with my hands. I
see alot of her underwear. I feel disgusted and
some have blood. No I can't wash that. I push it
aside and keep on washing the rest. Underwear
is washed everyday by the owner. I can't , she
will have to forgive me.
I went to hang her washing and look at the
beautiful sun, I would be sitting under the tree
with Ciyela , I miss her at the moment. I turn
around and I walk inside.
“I don't know a useless maid like you. Instead
of starting the pots ,cook this ” she throws her
phone my way and I catch it. I look at the
picture. It's steamed bread and tripe.
I nod and give her phone back she takes it.
“You... You will know me ” she says. That makes
me want to go home more. I swallow as she
walks away.
I walk inside and start with the cooking, I added
some samp as well to put more food on the
plate. I wish by the time everyone arrives it's
the time I am leaving.
I start humming a song. I stop with the cooking
and I wipe my tears. If my father didn't have
any debt with Induna then I wouldn't be here.
Why did I seek him in the first place? If Dabula
didn't die would I be here ? Maybe , No , I don't
know .
*******
“I am scared” I say softly. He snuck me in his
room, I thought I was ready. I am ready , I am
scared to give my all now but I didn't want
another man having me first.
“Don't be. Calm down ” he kisses my neck. I
liked those kisses , they tickled me and created
an unknown feeling inside of me .
The flowered dress droped to my feet and my
hands went to my perky boobs. He placed his
ontop of mine. Removing my hands slowly , he
turned me around and kissed me.
“I love you ” he whispered.
I knew I loved him as well when I gave myself
to him.
I remember everything like it was yesterday.
*******
I discard those thoughts. He is someone fiance.
Dabula and I have never had kids , He was not
fertile that is why we don't have any kids
together. I start with the pots on the stove and I
sit by the kitchen cleaning where I can get my
hands on. I don't want to be shouted at and I
am still desperate for money to go back home.
Tears fall from my cheeks. I still love him but
my love for him won't do anything. I am not
about to disrupt another woman's life in that
manner. I wipe my tears and carry on.
The pots are doing their thing as I race around
the kitchen trying to do my best. I am done !
Good it has been long. I put everything well, I
look at the clock in the kitchen and it's 12h00. I
need to go back to the cottage. It's good that I
haven't seen Ntozakhona as yet. I went back
to my cottage , I took our picture and looked at
it before I teared it apart and laid on the bed
crying.
____________
I hold onto the sink as I am done washing the
dishes, my tears have dried up. I wipe my face
and I keep on cleaning the sink. I hear the foot
steps and feel his presence , smell his cologne. I
swallow the lump on my throat as I slowly wipe
the little drops just distracting myself a bit , I
don't want to talk because my voice will fail me
and I will break down any time soon.
“Maid ! ” It's the madam. I turn around and he
is looking at me , I look away and she walks in.
I bow my head.
“Madam” I say. I get a glimpse of him and he
has his jaws pressed and tightening them.
“My Underwear , you didn't wash it ! I said ...”
he holds her hand stopping her from throwing
the glass that's in her hand.
“That's enough ! You will not talk to her like
that Nelisiwe !”
She bawls her eyes out and she looks at him.
“N..” she tries to talk but he interrupts her
“Go upstairs and do your own laundry ! ” she is
angry but walks away clicking her heals. We
hear her little scoffs.
I turn around and I take the dishes and he
places his hand on my waist and I jump a bit.
“I am sorry” he says.
“Its ok ,I have work” I walk away from him and
went to stack the dishes away.
His presence is still felt. The door bell rings and
I leave the dishes
“That must be Nazo ” he says.
Nazo , it has been years since I last saw him. I
know that he is married and also a minister ,
that I read from the news papers Dabula always
came back with from work , old and sometimes
new as well. His wife is very beautiful yet all
the beautiful ladies always have something
dark planted in them. I went to open the door
and I looked at these people in front of me.
I move out of the way.
“Wow , it has been long. What are you doing
here ? You guys got back together? Oh this is the
love of my life ” he says rather to fast but his
eyes glitters when he mentions the lady next to
him, He hasn't even greeted me but looks like
his father more now .

I bow my head.
“Great to meet you ” I say
“Nice to meet you too” She smiles and the lady
of the house walks down the stairs.
“Where is my fiance ?” she asks
“Hello to you too” Nazo says.
“Excuse me ” I move away from them and fix
my doek and uniform properly.
I open the fridge and take out some beverages.
I close the fridge and she is standing next to me.
Her eyes red and seems to be ready to attack
me.
“He once told me before about you ” she looks
at me up and down.
“The only reason I hired you is because I want
to make you suffer. ”
I swallow.
“He is not the same man you met at the rurals
,got it ? I am the one getting married to him ” I
nod.
“Go and wash the curtains.” I just washed them
yesterday .
She walks away flicking her hair and her heals
drilling the floor and making so much sound. I
hold onto the counter and tears stream down
my cheeks. I held on the love I had for him for
10 years, I was married but still love him so
much and after my husband's death I came to
seek him. What was I expecting ? Him waiting
for me and holding on the words he preached
to me when I left. “I love you Mphefumulo
wami”. I remember him giving me my first ever
kiss and touch, the man who made me a woman
in just one night. The man who I saw a future
with but faded away as I sacrificed myself for
my family , sacrificed my happiness to please
them.
I sob softly and I hold onto my chest. I wish I let
go of the love I have for him , it wouldn't hurt. I
wish I could not see him love another woman
the way he promised to love me. I wish that I
wasn't here. I hear laughter and I wipe my
tears. I went to take a peak and there is
laughter. He is smiling , he kisses her forehead
and she leans on his chest. My heart cringes
and I run outside the kitchen. I take out my
phone as I am sobbing. It rings a few times
before she answers.
“Sisi ”
“I want to come home. I...i”
“Sisi ...” I sob , why do matters concerning the
heart hurt this much ?
Ciyela talks to me and I feel a bit better after a
conversation with her. I hang up and I walk
inside. I hear voices and seems more than the
ones that were there before. Definitely. Nazo's
walks in holding a child in her arms. The child
definitely looks like Nazo.
“Hi , Where can I find some milk. I need to
warm it for this one ” she says. I take the milk
out and pot.
“I will warm it ” I say
“Oh , Uhm thank you ” she smiles. She is really
beautiful.
“You are beautiful” she chuckled lightly.
“I thought my husband was exaggerating.
Thank you , You are wonderful as well” I smile
lightly
“Something wrong ? ” she asks.
“I don't have money to go back home ” I say and
she frowns.
“Oh , I am coming back” she goes away and I
pour the milk in the pot and put it on the stove.
I let it heat up.
She comes back and places her son on the
counter. He fists his hand and puts it in his
mouth.
“No, Baby don't do that” she reprimids him.
“Here is some money. Go home , I am sure your
family needs you” she says while handing some
money to me.
“Is it far ?is the money enough” I shake my
head and hand it back to her.
“I can't take your money ” I say ,it's alot.
“No , take it. ” she shoves it in my hands.
“You can go against my final word ” she adds.
It's R700, this is too much
“I just needed R200 ” I hand the rest back
“Buy snacks with the rest. ” I nod and go on my
knees and now my head.
“Thank you ” she pulls me up.
“Please don't bow and pleasure. Come Baby”
she takes her child and I pour the milk for her.
She thanks me and walks off. I look at the
money. May she be blessed. I washed the pit
and put it away.
I went out of the kitchen way and I went to the
cottage. I opened the door and got inside. I
undressed and got dressed in my black clothes.
I did my head wrap properly and put a shoal
over my shoulders. I packed my things and I
closed my bags. I am done with Durban,
Nongoma is calling for me now.
________
I have been standing here for some time. I left
the house an hour ago and still no taxi has
arrived , I look at my phone and it states that I
have been standing here for too long. I look left
then right before I take my bag and I keep on
walking just so I can meet a taxi. I don't know
this place but one thing I know is that I want to
leave. A car comes to a halt next to me and the
window rolls come. I stop walking.
“Hey, you seem lost” I am lost.
“Yes , where can I find Taxi's here ? ”
“Oh I am not sure. They don't usually come this
side. Rarely ” he says. I am defeated.
He takes off his glasses and puts them aside.
“How about I give you lift to town ?” he says.
“You are going to Town ?”. He nods.
“Come , hop in ”
I look around and I went around to the
passager side. I got inside and closed the door.
“God bless you” I say and he smiles touching my
thigh and my dress goes up a bit. I remove his
hand from it.
“He has blessed me ”
He starts the car and adjusts his review mirror.
I look outside and I see someone running
towards the car. He whistles telling it to stop.
He arrives at the car and opens the driver's
door.
“Cholo get out ” Why is he telling me to do that ?
“She wants to leave so let her ” the guy says
“Yes Afika , I want to leave ”
“Voetsek , leaving with a stranger who might
rape and kill you. Get out Cholo , ungangicasuli
! ( Don't piss me off )” he is angry.
“Don't speak to her like ..” he punches the poor
guy.
“Afika ! Ok I will get out. ” he spits on the floor
and I open the door. I get out and he comes by
my side and drags me off. I am holding onto
my bags really tightly.
“I want to go home ” I try my luck into him
letting me go.
“I am not letting you go after that careless move
”
“I am sorry ” he drags me inside the yard and
Ntozakhona is standing by the door.
“I found her in another man's car” I kept quiet.
He let go of me and took out a cigarette from his
pocket and lit it up. Ntozakhona is silent but
looking at me ,I put my suitcase down and I
focus on Afika.
“How did you know I left ? ” I ask
“I went to check on you ” Afika says while
pulling the smoke, he is still angry I can see.
“Who gave you money ?” he asks.
“Nazo's wife "I say.
Afika leaves and we are both standing there. I
don't make any eye contact with him, he is
silent and so am I. After a while he heaves a
sigh and I smell his cologne up my nose. It's
strong , manly and also attracting. His arms
wrap around me and I wrap mine around his
body. He kisses my forehead.I smile while
hugging him a bit more but remove my hands
when I remember that he is another woman's
man.
“You left me ” he says
“I am sorry” I say. I had no control over it, it
was either me or my father.
I stand on my toes and I perk his lips softly. He
places his hands around my waist.
“She deserves you” I remove myself from his
hold and I walk off.

CHAPTER 3

She deserves him, I don't know like she does

now. I am not engaged to him and yes I love
him but that doesn't mean he loves me.He
found the one he is supposed to move on with
and that is her. I know Ntozakhona from 10
years ago but not this one. Time changes and so
as people and I believe he has evolved over the
years. I left very wee hours of morning. Before
anyone could wake up. How I got out of that
remote controlled gate is a difficult thing to
explain but I got out. I have been walking on
this street for some time and I haven't seen any
car or taxi coming my way. It's very quiet.
Oh there is one ! I wave my hand for the taxi
and it came to me. The door is opened and I
hop inside with my bags.
“Town ?“
I ask and the driver nods, ok that is good. I take
out the small plastic where I put the money
inside and took some money and handed it
over. I got my change and I relax on the seat. I
look back once more before I look ahead. I have
to forget about him , no matter how much I
have loved him.Promises can be broken as well
and I don't see why I have to be selfish and hold
him back. He is happy and his happiness should
be priority to him.
I get to town and I walk around to go and buy
some chips before I hop on the next taxi. I got
something to drink as well and paid at the
pakistan shop. I then walk to catch the taxi back
home.
_________
My feet are hurting but relief washes over me
very quickly. I dropped what I have in my
hands and just swing my arms around their
necks and they giggle. I have missed them so
very much, I couldn't wait to get out of the taxi
when I saw them standing here. I called Ciyela
and told her that I am coming back when I left
the city.
“You are squeezing our necks.” Chiliza says and
I let them go.
“I have missed you” I say
“We missed you too sisi” Ciyela picks up my bag
and Chiliza takes my hand bag.
We walk the journey back home.
“How was the city ?” Ciyela says.
“You went to the city?” Chiliza asks and I nod. I
can't lie to her.
“Yes” I say
“Was it nice ?” she asks and i nod.
”Its fine ” I settle for that.
We keep on walking, we see a nice car parked
by the yard.
“Who's car is that ?” I ask
“My uncles car, he came back after years”
Ciyela says
“I don't trust that man ” Ciyela adds
“Apperantly we have a cousin” Ciliza says.
“Oh , he seems to have money ” I say
“He does ”
“He will put you through school then” I look at
them and they look at me like I have just
spoken a foreign language.
We walk inside the yard and knock on the
kitchen door. Three gentle men are sitting on
the chairs in the kitchen. Mama stands up and I
hug her.
“You are back , I am so happy” she says.
“I am happy too” she gives me a small perk and
I giggle. It's good to be here
“She has arrived good, we were going to search
for her ” one of the gentle man says
“No, you come back after years and demand my
daughter ! ” mah says.
”She is not yours. It's per tradition ”
“To do what ?” I ask. I shouldn't have, the elders
are talking.
“Since passed on without bringing in a child
and growing the family name, this family paid
for you meaning you should marry my son and
have kids to sustain the family name ” What ?
“Qinisa please” Mah says holding me close to
her.
“I will give you a better life. You know that my
brother resorted to witchcraft for riches. Give
her to us and we will take care of her and you”
he looks around the house.
“Malume ...”Ciyela tries to talk.
“hold it there Mshana ” he says.
“Why are you evil?” Mah says in a soft tone.
“You refused to marry me after my brother.
Look where you are living Hleziphi , do you
want your kids ending up on the streets selling
themselves to make ends meet ? Things are
simple. She will bare children with Msizi and
live comfortably ” he says looking at the guy
next to him.
“Nana ....” he tries to continue but I cut him.
“I will do it. If only Ciyela and Chiliza get to go
school and Mah lives comfortably” I say. I have
nothing to loose. Nothing to live for but them.
“No Cholo , don't be selfish ! ” Ciyela shouts.
“Good choice” The uncle smiles and turns to the
guy.
“We are leaving ” Mah hugs me close to her.
“Don't listen to him. Go home , run away Cholo”
I know she cares and I know she wants what's
best but I also want what's best.
___________
Love ? It's something that is not ment for me at
all. Love is something that I should receive in
any other form than romantically. Love is said
to be happiness yet also have thorns. It pricks
and leave a stain of deception at times. Love
conqures , did mine conquer? No it didn't ! It
only faded , well that is what I think happened
from his side.
“What do you need ?” it has been time. He
doesn't speak , he doesn't say anything but
bobble his head back and forth to a nice tune
from the radio.
“Nothing” I say.
“I have a girlfriend you know” he says.
“Why don't you imoregnat her ?” I ask.
“I think she is infertile” he says.
“What If I am infertile?” I ask.
He turns to me. We are at the backseat. His
father keeps on stealing stares and smiles when
he sees us.
“Are you?”
“I don't know ” I honestly say. He sighs
frustrated.
“Mmmh ” he says.
We get to their home and the father turns to me
once we get out.
“Make yourself comfortable and behave ” he
says and the son nods.
He walks away leading the way and I walk
behind him. We get inside and there he turns
and looks at me.
“How many people have you slept with ? ” what
? Is he asking me that ?
“Two ” I say softly.
“Ok”
He walks away and I went to sit down. This is a
mess.
He came back after some time and he sat down
taking the remote and changing the channel.
We watched the same thing and Nazo popped
on tv. I made the best decision by leaving or
did I ? I did , that is what I believe.
“Are you eating something ?” I ask him. He
looks at me.
“I will order ” he says. I don't like this.
I don't want to be here. It's boring and very
awkward.
“Why don't you plant the sperms in someone
else?”
“Don't ask too much ” his phone rings and he
stands up and walks away to answer it.
I need a bed so I could retire. It has been a long
day.
_________
We are not all destined to have the same paths.
It may be similar but there are differences. Just
like identical twins. They may look alike but
there are differences. My life , it's happening
the same way , I have always been to put
someone's happiness before mine. Right now
my happiness lies in Ngwenya family. They are
my family and loved also welcomed me in their
home. My husband was a wonderful man, if we
loved each other I think we would've turned out
wonderful but we cared for each other and that
was enough. I supported him as much as he did
with me. Encouraged him alot and he always
appreciated my efforts.
I woke up early to make some porridge for the
morning. As the situation I am in says alot but I
still have to respect my In law. I am one to
make sacrifices. My father always said :“Make
sacrifices for the ones you love.” That's how you
show them love.
“Good morning” I turn around and look at him.
I look at the watch and it's almost 6 am
“I am late ” he grabs a fruit.
“Oh” I say and he looks at my porridge.
“I will see you neh”
He kisses my cheek and rushes out in
tracksuits. I wonder where he works. He didn't
even grab proper breakfast not forgetting
lunch. I dished up for myself and I went to eat.
I called Mah and she asked me alot of questions
of which I answered. After the call I felt a bit
better. Now I know my purpose of being here.
For them, I cleaned up and I went to clean the
place. It didn't need much cleaning but I
wanted to distract myself. Lunch time I was
done and I have already cooked. What now ?
What to do ?
I went to sit down and watch some TV just to
keep myself a bit busy. I want to call my sister
but then I have second thoughts on that. I
changed the channel and the door opens. I look
towards it and he walks in , he throws the keys
on the table and takes off his jacket.
“Come” I don't ask but I stand up and I follow
after him. We get in the room and I swallow. It
hasn't been a full day.
He pulls me by the waist swiftly. I place my
hands on his chest.
“You have a girlfriend” I say. This will make me
feel bad.
“I am horny and we need a baby” I swallow and
nod. He moves the straps from my dress
slowly, my heart is thudding. He guns for my
neck and my breathing hinched. He smells nice
, that I can say.
_____
“You are ok?” he asks. I don't know how many
times he has asked me that but I nod the same
again.
His hands move to my boobs and he squeezes
them softly before his tongue is in touch with
my nipple. He is sucking softly. I have never
experienced this and I won't lie. It feels kind of
nice. His hands move to my waist and he has a
firm grip before he stops and catches his
breath. He gets off me and I look at the ceiling
for a while before turning to him. He is not
getting dressed instead he gets inside the
covers. We are both silent. This is awkward and
awful.
“Have you told your girlfriend about this ?” I
ask.
“No” what ? I sit up and he does the same.
“I don't want to be blamed for these things. You
should've talked to her. !” I am angry. At myself
as well. I just slept with another woman's man.
“I don't have a girlfriend” he says and I look at
him.
“I lied ” he continues. I get off the bed. Now I
need to jump of a bridge because everything is
a mess right now.
“Cholo” he says.
“I want to leave ” He gets off the bed and holds
me.
“I am sorry for lying Cholo. I just didn't want
you falling for me soon” he says.
“My heart loves one man ” I say.
He is very silent after that statement. I want to
forget about him. I want to move on from him !
Mention your friends.

CHAPTER 4

It has been a week, a week of me living with

this man. He is not as bad as Chiliza described
to be , maybe I will see that soon but she did say
his father is evil. I wonder why , we are at the
supermarket buying groceries. I can't work
with what he eats so here we are doing the
shopping.
“I will be back right now ” he says and I nod
while he walks away, I walk down the aisle
pushing the trolley.
I stop Infront of the spices and I look for the one
I would prefer. I take two and I put them inside
the trolley. I turned around and bumped into
someone.
“I am sorry” I say
“Cholo” I look up to the person who is calling
me.
“Nto..Ntozakhona , hi” I swallowed.
He smiles and I shy away.
“You left again ” he says softly.
“I... I had to ” I say.
“You are still this side ?” he moves next to me
holding his biltong and Stone cold drink close.
He has always loved it with chili sauce ontop.
“Yes” I hold onto the trolley.
“I have to go , greet your finance for me ” he
holds my arm as I move.
“I would like to see you again” he says
“Longer than this” he continues
“I can't Ntozakhona , I am sorry.”
I move away from him and don't turn back, I
want to see him. Longer than this as well but I
have to respect his life as it is now and try to
unlove him. If that is very possible, My life is
here now and I should focus on that and forget
about that Ndlovu man who I have loved for so
many years. I get to the till and stand
there,Msizi comes back and throws his stuff
inside.
“Got what you needed ?” I nod.
“Yes I did , thank you” he nods and pulls me
close to him and kisses the side of my forehead.
He is affectionate that I have noticed.
I look at him and he smiles, I return the gesture.
He doesn't let go and we move with the line.
Everything gets scanned and he pays for
everything. I am sure I didn't take much. We get
done and we walk out of the store to the
parking lot. Everything gets loaded, I see
Ntozakhona's car passing by us and I just closed
my eyes. Msizi closes the boot when he is done.
“We can go” he says and we get inside the car,
he drives off after.
I look out of the window as silence consumes
the car, I feel his hand on mine and I look at
him.
“Cholo , I am not bad” he says looking at me
then focuses on the road.
“We can maybe try for the sake of us having
kids together” he says
“Why choose your cousin's wife ?” I ask.
“It was my father's suggestion”
“And you agreed” he nods.
“I agreed because of how he portrayed you”
“He doesn't know me ”
“Yes but he knows how rural women were
groomed ” he says
“We are all groomed differently” I say
“Can we try ?” he asks.
“Msizi I...”
“I will give you time ” he smiles and I sigh. I
don't know what to decide now. It's draining
making alot of decisions.
We are both silent in the car once more.
___________
Msizi left right after I unpacked the groceries.
He told me he left work before we went grocery
shopping. What baffels me is that he is always
casual. I pack him lunch and he takes it. That's
the only thing he takes. He wakes up very early,
reminds me of the time Ntozakhona when he
had to leave for Durban , he would leave at 1am
very early just so he can arrive on time and go
to work. His family is the wealthiest in our
community but what I love is that they work for
it. Even them, they had to start somewhere as
well like their fathers. He would come Friday
late at night and leave Monday morning. I
should push that man at the back of my head.
Am I ready to be a mother ? I am grown now
and in my late 20's. People my age have
children already and have a good life for
themselves. A good life with the people they
love ,will I love Msizi ? That's the question I
have no answer to. Should I give him a chance
? I am confused. I wish my mother was here ,
she would've told me what to do.
I start with the pots in that process. My phone
rings and it's MaNdawonde. I answer the call
quickly
“Mah ”
“How are they treating you my child ? ”
“Its good. He wants us to try” I say.
“Already ? Isn't that fast ?” she asks.
“I have to obey”
“Oh my innocent Cholo. You have to put your
foot down sometimes and take what's yours.
You can't always please people. You will hurt
yourself ” she says.
“What should I do ?”
“What you want. Regardless of what I say or
anyone says. I want to see you happy my child.
If you want to make things work then you can
and if things fail it's ok ” she says. I needed to
talk to her.
“Ok mah , I will do so ”
“Take care. I love you” I smile.
“I love you too” she hangs up and I put my
phone away and carry on with cooking.
I get done and I go to the guest room and I went
to do some ironing from today's washing. I fold
the clothes nicely and neatly as well before I
put them where they are supposed to be. Soon
enough I get done with the washing and I pack
everything away.
“MaGxabashe ! ” I frown and I peak my head
from the bedroom and then went to the lounge.
“Surprise !” He says before laughing.
“What are you doing here ?”
“I brought your boyfriend ” Afika says and
sucks on his lollipop. He takes the remote and
changes the channel.
“Please leave , you are not supposed to be here ”
Ntozakhona pulls me through the passage.
“Ntozakhona !” he pins me on the wall and
hovers my tiny self. I swallow, his cologne hits
my nostrils.
“Listen here Cholo, you left me and chose your
father over us, you did that shit and I let you be.
You fucked me up then and you come and fuck
me up again, stop fucking my life up whenever
you feel entitled to do so, you married another
dude and now you are with Another? What is ”
“Let go of me and leave me alone. It will stop
ME from messing up your everything ”
“I can't because I fucken love you !” he shouts.
“Stop shouting, stop swearing ” I say softly.
“I am sorry” he lowers his voice. He roughly
brush his head and looks at me.
“What are you doing with Msizi?” how does he
know him ?
“I am here to give him children since Dabula
was infertile.”
“Fuck this, I am not infertile ” he picks me up
and goes to the bedroom
“Ntozakhona put me down ”
He puts me on the bed and hovers me. My
heart is beating fast.
“Plesse, please leave ” I say softly. He kisses my
neck and I break down , I am crumbling and
weakening too quickly . I am weak !
“We have always wanted our own village” he
says softly by my ear. I swallow as he proceeds
kissing my chest.
“Lets not do this please” I say softly. He holds
my waist and presses his body on mine.
“Haibo Haibo kanti nenza nje !( you guys are
doing this )” I try moving Ntozakhona but he is
heavy.
Afika takes a picture and claps his hands
laughing.
“Carry on. Should I press record or watch with
my own two eyes?" He says. I am flushed and
want them to leave right now. Tears prickle
my eyes and they drop.
“Why are you crying ?” he asks.
“Get off me ” I say and he does.
“I think I will wait outside” Afika says and
walks out.
“Cholo ”
“Get out Ntozakhona.”
“Mphefumulo...” I interrupt him.
“Its time we realized that our promises weren't
going to be fulfilled and we should move on.
Our love story ended 10 years ago” he holds my
hands.
“Cholo, when you told me you were leaving I
was shattered. You remeber that I didn't come
back for the whole month before you left...” I
nod.
I wanted to spend that last month with him but
he wasn't there. I know he was angry as he
didn't come back as usual. I always stood by
that red container every Friday hoping he
would come but he didn't till I left.
“I was working so I could get the money your
father owes and when I came back you were
already gone. I asked your sister where you
were but she didn't tell me which parts of
Nongoma you are in and I just lost hope” He
holds my hand and locks it with his and I look
at it.
My mind jogs to the memory of us at the river
sitting on the rock.
*******
He kissed my neck and I giggled. He wrapped
his arms around me as I laid my head back on
his chest. The river stream was calming , I was
supposed to fetch water but I am spending time
with him. My father will come looking for me if
I don't go back home.
“Uhlekani ?(What are you laughing at?)” I
smiled and looked at the river.
“You are tickling me ”
He took my hand and locked it with his and I
looked at his left hand and touched the bracelet
I gave to him yesterday
“I will keep it on everyday” he says.
”I will keep mine as well” I smile and he gave
me a cheek kiss. I turned my head and face him.
I went on my knees and he held my cheek and
gave me a kiss. I felt foreign feelings
******
I snap out of my thoughts and look at our
hands. He still has it on, he touches mine and I
move my hand breaking away from his. I stood
up and took off the bracelet.
“I think we should try moving on.Good luck on
your marriage” he stands up and holds my
waist.
“I love you” he says, I swallow.
“I..lo..bye ” he looks at me and nods. He lets me
go and he walks to the door. He turns and looks
at me before he walks out. I sat on the bed and
breathed out.
I am confusing my life , yes I am and I want to
unconfuse that. I don't know how or where to
start as well. How did Ntozakhona find me
anyway ? How does he know Msizi ? I want to
ask Msizi but I don't want to bring another
man's name in his presence. It's disrespectful.
________
“What a day!” He walks in and throws his
Bennie on the bed and runs his hand on his
bald head.
It suits him , he got his hair done I can see. He
had hair but it suits him.
“I am sorry I arrived late. I was held up at the
panel beater” he takes off his top. I pull the
covers to my body.
“Its fine ” I say.
He gets on the bed and perks my lips.
“I have thought about what you said” I say and
he looks at me.
“We can try but let's not rush , I have just lost
Dabula and I need to grieve ” I say
“I understand babe. It's not easy letting go of
someone you still love but I will try my best to
be patient” he says.
He is right. It's not easy letting go of someone
you still love. It's not easy letting go of
Ntozakhona.
“Thank you” I say. He holds my waist.
“I missed you today , surprisingly” he says.
“Let me go and warm some food for you ” I get
of the bed and he pulls me to him.
“I have already eaten ” He softly whispers in my
ear.
“Ok” his fingers run up my thigh, pulling my
night dress up.
“We should try again” he says , I nod slowly
while swallowing.
“Fuck this, I am not infertile ” Ntozakhona's
words ring in my head ,I can't seem to get him
out of my head. His voice keeps on ringing and
I feel tingles.
“Dad chose wisely” Msizi says and he lays me
on the bed. He gets ontop of me and gives me a
kiss. I respond.
I shall obey , I shall fulfil mostly I shall let go of
the love I have for Ntozakhona Ndlovu

CHAPTER 5

It's dark yet silent as well. I can feel his fingers

running on my skin slowly creating little tingles
along the way. I feel him shift and I look at him
and he looks at me. The moon light from
outside is the one thing that is giving light into
the room, I am sure in 2 hours he has to go to
work and start his day yet he hasn't slept and
neither have I , I took a short nap and woke up
to him touching and caressing me slowly. He
chuckled softly
“What?” I say softly. He pulls me close to him.
“Nothing”
“You are waking up in a few” I say
“I know” he keeps on tracing his fingers on my
body. He takes a breath in.
“I don't want to sleep” he says
“What then ?” I ask.
He is silent still tracing his fingers around my
body.
“You know I was thinking”
“Yes ”
“I love Polygamy” he says and I am silent.
“Would you allow me to take a second wife?”
why ? Isn't one a headache and enough ?
“I ... Why?” I ask.
“I love the idea of having two wives ” I sit up.
I won't handle it. I can't handle sharing even if
it's situations like this.
“Oh ”
“Are you ok?” he asks.
I turn to him.
“I don't think I can do this. I thought I can but...”
My mind starts jogging.
“What ? Cholo you can't do this to me ” he says.
“I am sorry” I turn and look the other way. I
should make up my mind. I know what I want
and what I was taking a journey on and I will
fulfil it even if I fail.
I close my eyes, hear him sighing and I sigh as
well.

We woke up in the morning and I help him

prepare. I make breakfast and lunch for him as
well and I wait at the kitchen for him to be
done. He walks in after some time and comes to
hold me.
“Cholo” he says softly.
“Yes”
“Did I upset you yesterday?” he asks
“No, I just don't want to waste our time on
things I am not sure on” He nods slowly like he
understands but I can see he doesn't.
“Find the other wife ” I just say
“What if you are pregnant?” he touches my
stomach. I know I am not Ciyela took me to
those injections at the clinic before we left.
“We can check” I say
“I will bring back pregnancy tests” I nod.
He sits down and eats , when he is done he
stands up and takes his food.
“I will see you in the afternoon” I nod and he
takes his car keys and walks out. I look at the
door for a while before I turn and switch off the
lights. I am tired for real.
____________
It took me days , Weeks , hours to take in
everything that I am about to do. Dabula , I am
sure he is asking himself alot of questions
wherever he is. I thought I could handle but
another few years with another man I don't
truely love would've ended me on the second
one. Mah's words also ran in my head for the
past two months. I wish things were just as
simple but let me make them simple for myself
now. I hold onto my bag and I breathe out. I
softly knock and there is silence. No man Cholo
ring that door bell.
I press my finger on the door bell and it rings. I
am nervous but I push those nerves back, no
this can't hold me back,it's during the day. It's
either I will find him or not. His fiance is a
workaholic that I have confirmed in just the
little time I have had with them. I am snapped
out of my thoughts by the door opening
“Cholo”I look at him and take in a deep breath.
I hold onto my bag tightly and step Infront of
him.
I look at him and I went on my toes before I kiss
his lips and he responds placing his hand on my
waist. That made me place mine on him and
touch him like he is mine. I break the kiss and
step back a bit.
“It hasn't ended until the love fades” I say
“Meaning?”
“I love you Ntozakhona. I am sorry for hurting
you , leaving you and choosing other people
before us. I am willing to change that , I am
willing to put us first more than anything else..”
He picks me up and I giggle. He closes the door
and walks inside.
“Please put me down”i say and he lays me on
the couch and hovers me, he looks at me.
“MaGxabashe” he says
“Gatseni” he shys away a bit.
“Ngiyakuthanda Mphefumulo wami ( I love you
my soul)” I smile
“Nami ngiyakuthanda ( I love you too)”
“You see this ” he points at his heart area and I
nod.
“Wayephula kodwa ngisakuthanda( You broke
it but I love you)” I placed my hand on his chest
and he placed his over mine.
“Sengiyofa ngifile manje( I will take whatevee
risk)”
He smiles and perks my lips.
“Let me sort things out this time ” I nod.
“I will let you be Gatseni” he lays his head on
my chest and I hug him. I feel better , much
better than I was before, I don't care what
anyone says I want to be here. I close my eyes
and listen to his breathing patterns.
___________
I opened my eyes and I look around. I am in a
bedroom , it's one of the rooms in Ntozakhona's
house. I hear a breaking sound and I jump
from where I am. I get off the bed and I walk
out of the room and walk through the passage.
I arrive at the kitchen and I look at them. The
glass is broken.
“You don't respect me Ntozakhona ! What you
are telling me is shit !” she screams ontop of her
voice. I hide myself but still look at them.
“Nelly we are talking. I don't get why you have
to break every dish inside this house , Ziqede
zonke ke !( finish all of them then !)” he shouts.
I jump a bit as well, Ntozakhona has a big voice
when he shouts it's scary.
“Talking for what when you just told me you
love your useless Ex ”
“Never , I mean ever refer Cholo as that or we
will have serious problems than this ” he says.
“You know I love you Ntozakhona. Why are
you doing this to me ?” she starts sobbing, If I
didn't throw my consious away when I came
here I would be leaving but I saw him first. I am
not going anywhere.
“I know baby” he goes around and hugs her. I
feel a bit hurt.
“You have to choose who you want ,I won't
share you ” she says while on his chest.
“Nelisiwe ....” he says
“No , choose. You know my father won't be
happy about this.” She says. She is blackmailing
him I can see.
“I know ” he says softly.
She moves her head from his chest and has a
little smirk. This skinny thing has him by the
pinky now. Oh god , no calm down Cholo. He
said I should let him handle things.
“So what is it ? A girl from the rurals or me and
the new contract ? ” what contract. He is silent
for a moment and I am nervous.
“Dad gave it to me today. It has been finalized”
she takes papers out of her bag and pushes
them towards him.
He takes it and looks through.
“Its good ” She continues.
“It is ” Ntozakhona says. My heart sinks and I
lean against the wall, I place my hand on my
chest .
Calm down Cholo but I can't seem too.
“But , I can get another one sometime. No big
deal” he tears the papers.
“What !? What does this mean ? ”
“I think you know the answer, I am sorry” he
says
“You are going to regret this with that thing”
she walks off up the stairs. I look at her
disappear and I turn around.
He is standing by the wall looking at me with
hands in his pocket.
“You were listening” he says
“I just woke up” I say
“Come here” I go to him and he places his one
hand around my waist.
“You are sure about this ?” he asks and I nod
“I am sure”
*******
I stood on the rock and jumped into his arms.
He caught me and spun me around kissing my
whole face as I giggled. I always felt joy being
with him even though my father wouldn't be
happy having a boy hold me like this , make me
feel like this but I loved that feeling.
“One day you will forget about me ” my face
softened from the laugher and he looked at me.
“I will never forget you ” he placed me down
and held my hands.
“You know why ?” I shook my head.
“Bevause you will be my wife and have many
kids with you ” I laughed.
“How many ?”
“50 kids” I giggled as he wrapped his arms
around my body.
“I love you MaGxabashe” I laid my head on his
chest.
“i love you too Gatseni”
“I promise to love you forever. Till death does
us apart” I look at him.
“Me too” he held my chin and gave me a kiss on
the lips. I was starting to get the hang of the
kissing thing.
********
“There is no going back” he says softly.
“There isn't” it's the way forward now.
_________
The sounds of someone shuffling woke me up
from my sleep , I looked around and I sat up.
“Go back to sleep” He says softly.
“Its late” I say. Its dark outside.
“I will be back ,Sleep Cholo” he says.
He takes his phone and he puts it on his ear.
“Bafo Sheshisa kushubile, Ok sho ( Hurry up
bro , things are heating up )” he hangs up.
“Ndlovu what Is going on ? ”
“Your in laws and ex I should say” what did
they do ?
“What did they do?”
“They are in my yard trying to get in the house.
They want you ” I got off the bed and went to
check the window. I see someone shouting and
3 Taxi's parked outside full with guys in it. I see
Msizi as well.
What is this ? I turn around to him. He is on the
phone making a call.
“Ok, no , they haven't got inside the house... call
when you arrive ” he hangs up.
“I am sorry for being trouble ” I say
We hear a gun shots and he comes to me.
“Go to the closet ”
“N..”
“Now Cholo ! ” I go to the closet and he is
behind me. He goes to the wall and opens a
safe , it's just there. He takes out a gun ,I
swallow. He has a gun for what ?
He closes it and turns to me.
“Don't move. I will be back” he says
I nod and he gives me a kiss.
“I will sort everything out ” he says
“Ok” he rushes out and locks me In here.
The little roof lights turn on in a dimmed
manner, I see a comfortable looking chair and I
went to sit on it. I am sure it was for the fiance.
It looks almost empty. She had alot of clothes
then.
“Cholo come out now ! ” I hear someone
shouting.
I am scared, I won't move until Ntozakhona
comes and takes me out.
“Check in there ” I see the door handle move
and my heart is beating fast.
The sounds of gun shots scared me alot and the
door was kicked.
“I found her ” the guy says and comes to drag
me.
“Please...” I try to speak but I am met by a hard
slap that got me on the floor. I hold my cheek.
“Rubbish wentombazane ,Doti ! ( rubbish of a
girl , Rubbish !)” Msizi's father spits on the
ground.
“Voetsek. Move away from her before ngenze
ezibukwayo ( Before I cause a scene)” I don't
know who that is.
“Your son played on my Territory” Msizi's
father says.
“Anginandaba nge territory yakho mina.
Usendaweni yami naje , uvusa inyoka ilele ( I
don't care about your territory. You are on
mine and you are poking a sleeping snake )”
More people enter, what makes me want to pee
on myself are the guns being pointed at each
other. Everyone is silent.
“Go and call your brother ” The man says to
Qiniso. Ok I recognise him.
“I am sure my son has ended him ”
“Don't take me for a ride wena Popayi.
Ucabanga sidlala umasgcozi lah wena ,
Sosebenza ( You cartoon , You think we are
playing games here , we are here to work )” the
man says
“Then let's work. I am not leaving without her ”
Msizi's father says
The man swings an unexpected punch at Msizi's
father who stumbles a bit.
“Bamba inkabi yami ( Hold my gun )” he throw
it into Afika's hands and goes in for another.
Afika picks me up and the guns are pointed at
us. Ntozakhona came in and I rushed to him.
“Babomncane ! ” he says and the man stops.
Msizi's father is bleeding through the nose and
mouth.
“Go to my house Ntozakhona ” he says
“Come ” he takes my hand and I hold it as we
walk out. We get down the stairs.
“Where is Msizi?”
“Dont worry about that ” I nod.
We get to the garage and he closes my ears but I
could hear everything. He let go and opens the
door quickly.
“Get in ” I hop in and he goes to the other side
and he reverses out quickly and we are out of
his yard soon enough.
There is silence.
“I am sorry” I say
It's my fault now that Msizi is coming for him.
“I can handle myself ” he says.
His phone rings and he takes it out of his pants
and answers it.
“Gatseni” he is silent after.
“Yes we...shit ! ”
A speeding car was coming towards us but he
managed to sway the car around and avoid
being hit. My heart was beating fast , I thought
we would be injured there for a second.
“I will talk later ” he hangs up.
“Rest” he says. I don't think I have any rest in
me.
“I don't think I can rest” I say
He is silent.
“Why do you have a gun?”i look at his lap. He
looks there then the road.
“You won't see it again ” that's not the answer I
am looking for.
I decided to let him be.
CHAPTER 6

I open my eyes and touch the side of the bed. I

am alone and in a foreign roomn I remember
being brought here after last night and arriving
at this Zulu wonder land. Everything in here is
cultural if I could say. I don't know where I am
but I know who brought me here. I get off the
bed and I make it before sitting on it. I don't
know if I move where I would go or who I will
bump into so I will wait here. The door opens
and he walks in and throws the keys on the bed.
“How is everything ?” I say while standing up
and is kisses my lips while pushing me on the
bed.
“Ntozakhona” I say
“I need you ” he says and goes to kissing my
neck while pinning me down. He is a bit heavy
on me .
“Gatseni let's talk" I really want us to talk.
“We will talk later Cholo ” his fingers run all
over me, still pressing me down.
“Ntozakhona ” I say once more and he stops.
He gets off me and I sit up and he runs his
fingers through his hair roughly.
“What's going on ? ” I ask.
“Nothing , Qiniso will bring things for you ” he
gets up from the bed.
“Talk to me ”
“I will be back” he walks out after that.
I think he is angry , he is angry but sex wouldn't
solve anything right now. I get off the bed and I
walk out of the room. I stand there for some
time before navigating myself around the house
and I get to the lounge. It looks like the chief's
house
“Good morning ”
I look at her and she smiles at me.
“Come and sit down. Breakfast is ready” she
says and I go and sit down . She dishes up , she
has a dress on and a doek on her head as well.
A doek. I stand up from where I am then I
remeber I don't have my things here.
“How are you Cholo ?”
“I am ok” I look away and she comes to place a
plate Infront of me.
She goes and takes her food and she the sits
down.
“So tell me the full story because I need that
from you ” she says, I can't get over her beauty.
“Its complicated” I say. Where is her child ?
“Complicated, you said you were going home”
she raises her brow.
“I am sorry , I will pay back your money.” I did
need to go home.
“Its ok, you will tell me one day” she smiles.
“Slindokuhle is my name. Call me Slindo ” I nod.
We start eating the breakfast Infront of us and
the door opens. The man from yesterday walks
in followed by Nazo and Sikelela. I am looking
for Ntozakhona but I can't seem to see him.
“Makoti ” Slindo stands up and I do the same.
“Baba ” Nazo goes and kiss his wife's forehead.
“We have this handled. Popayi has drama ” he
says shaking his head.
“Lets move on from me being here ” Nazo says.
“I made breakfast” she says
“We will eat later Makoti” the man walks away.
“The prodigal girlfriend” Sikelela says and pulls
me in a hug.
“Hi ”
Slindo laughs a bit.
“What's wrong ?” Nazo asks.
“Just an inside memory” she says and moves to
the kitchen he follows.
“I have a crazy wife I want you to meet , maybe
she can be like you ”
“I will see ” he takes the bacon from my plate
and moves to the kitchen.
I sigh and sit down to carry on with my meal , I
get done and I help Slindo with the dishes. After
that we are done Afika comes with the things I
needed and I thanked him. I wanted to ask
about Ntozakhona but I will wait for him to
come back if he will.
I went to bath and my body felt fresh right
after. I got out and made my way to the room I
was in. I closed the door and I stripped to lotion
my body
The door opens and I turn around to look
towards it as he walks in. I take the towel and
wrap it around my body. He places his hands in
his pocket and looks at me.
“I am sorry” I go towards him and perk his lips.
“It's ok”
“I will do better next time ” he says.
I run my fingers on his neck.
“You left me ” I say and smile , he chuckles
“Ngiyaxolisa Nkosazane ( I am sorry)”
“Its ok”
“Don't worry. Everything will be ok, eventually”
“Alot is coming our way ?”
“I don't know. We just have to be prepared”
We hear breaking sounds and burst out of our
little bubble.
“Get dressed. I will be back” I nod as he rushes
out. I get dressed and I walk out as well.
“You think you can play me wena Nqaba
uzongazi ! ( you will know me )” the lady
shouts who is held by Afika. The case is broken
and Nazo's father is sitting on the couch
changing the channel while having his food.
“Leave her alone ” he says
“No take her out !” Nazo says and walks off.
Slindo follows after him.
“Woza Nana , Khona uyogcina ukuthanda
obaba abadala ( Come Nana ,So you will stop
dating old men )” Afika says throwing the lady
over his shoulder.
She is fighting and screaming as they walk out.
“Babomncane ”
He just ignored us.
“You are old for this. All of you and your
brothers” Sikelela says
“We are old to get married too”
There is silence. The helper comes and sweeps
the broken substances away and rushes off.
“Come” Ntozakhona takes my hand and we
walk to the bedroom. I sit on the bed as he goes
to the wardrobe and takes our a top and
changes it. I look at him.
*********
“They have arrived ” one of the ladies said.
“Who ?" We were at the river getting water , we
turn our heads and look at the direction they
are facing.
“Oh , abafana bakwaNdlovu bahle boh ( The
Ndlovu boys are handsome )” one of them says.
It was my first time going to get water from the
river. My father never allowed me to go around
till I was 17. It was usually my sister or mother
who went to get the necessary things like water
but after she died I had to help.
They were sitting all together. Many of them
together and their bond was so much visible
that it can't be easily broken. Seemed as a big
family and it was my first time seeing one of the
family members. Seeing them. I have always
heard how my sister and the rest of the people I
knew praised that family and I didn't
understand. All I saw is a family that has Taxis.
We got the water and I put the bucket on my
head. We started walking off with the other
girls as they started singing just to get their
attention and they were looking at us. They
kept on singing and I joined in as well.
Someone whistled and we stopped , turned to
look back and it was them.
“Zaze zacula kahle Intombi ( The ladies sing so
beautifully)” That was Sizwe oh may his soul
rest in peace.
He was gunned down on the N2 at the age of 26.
I was 18 when that happened, the taxi business
is very rough.
“Thank you " one of the ladies say. Ntozakhona
came towards me that time and just stood
Infront of me.
“Uyathandeka ( You are lovable)" he said softly
but I heard him. I swallowed and looked at him.
“Thank you ”
“Ngabe iNkosazana yekwa bani ?( Who may I
refer the lady to ? )”
“Makhathini”
“MaGxabashe ” he says.
“Cholo let's go ! ” my sister was shouting.
“Go well" he said I nodded
“Ntozakhona Ndlovu " he said and I walked
away from him. That was the first time I met
him.
**********
“Aren't you going to work ?" I ask.
“The rest will cover well" he says while getting
dressed and pulled me up.
“I am not ready to loose you ” he says
“Me too”
He kisses my lips and I respond to the kiss quiet
passionately as well.
“Ntozakhona nangu uyihlo wakho ( Ntozakhona
here is your father !)” someone shouts.
“Ngizkushaya Mfana uweyisa ( I will hit you
boy for disrespecting me )” a Deep voice roars .
Ntozakhona pulls me by my waist.
“Your father ”
“Come ” he pulled me away from the room and
we went out to the lounge. His father looks
scary.
“Why have you stepped on other people's
territory?" He asks
“I didn't , they did that ”the man clicked his
tongue.
“You " he points at me.
“I want to see her emagcekeni akwa Gatseni ( In
the Ndlovu yards)”he says.
“Hayi uzombona Babomdala ethi shwii shwii
ngamaphinifa aGogo ( You will see here
running around wearing my grandmother's
clothes)"Afika says and they give him a stare.
“Fix this ” he says
“ I will ” he walks out.
_________
Choosing things in life and mIung decisions are
really hard but we have to pull through right ?
Make the best decision we have inticpated for
ourselves.
“I am glad you chose him. Kunini yoh ( It's been
when )” Ciyela says . I am having a call
conversation with her.
“Yes ”
“We are in school. You should go back too” she
says. How ?
“I don't know what to do and I haven't thought
of that. I don't have money for it”
“Your new boyfriend " I shook my head.
“I will try getting a job. I don't want to be
trouble to anyone ” I say
“Yeah, you are right. Men tend to have too
much power over a woman. Some sort of
ownership and he will remind you that he
made you ” I have never saw it that way
“Ntozakhona is not like that ” I say
“You don't know , you haven't seen him in years
” she has a point
“I will find a job then ”
“Good. We love you "
I smile.
“I love you too” she hangs up after.
I switch off the stove after making lunch. The
door is opened and he walks in.
“Hi " he kisses my forehead.
“I have to go somewhere” he rushes off to the
bedroom side. I am confused a bit till he comes
back with a bag.
“And then ?"
“Business proposal. Ngiyabuya ( I am coming
back )”
If I knew that coming back ment two days later.
He walked out and I let him be.

CHAPTER 7

I am in the kitchen waiting and preparing. He

walks in and I look at him.
“I should've told you I would be gone for the
past two days" he says and I carry on with
setting the food up.
“How many are you ?"
“Its Qiniso , Sakhile , Afika and me ” he says.
Sakhile another one I haven't seen in so long.
“Ok” he kisses my forehead.
“I love you ” he says before waking out. I smile.
I dish up for them and I take a little bowel and I
put warm water and some soap and took a
clean dishcloth. I walk out and they are seated
with papers Infront of them.
“I just earned another route to Makhutha ”
Qiniso says.
“Thats good. I will take care of the petrol
transportation contract ” Ntozakhona says.
I get to them
“Hello” I greet
“MaGxabashe , I did hear you are back” Sakhile
says.
“She removed Nelisiwe quiet quick” Afika says
and Ntozakhona gives him a look.
I looked away.
“Don't mind Him " Qiniso says and I nod. They
all wash their hands and wipe them.
I walk away to the kitchen and collect the food
before I start serving them their food. I leave
them and I go to the kitchen. I don't eat but
wait for them to finish so I could take the
dishes. I keep myself busy by playing a game on
my phone when Ntozakhona walks in with the
dishes. That was very quick.
“You could've called me ” I say while he places
the dishes.
“Its ok ,we are going a bit. Thank you for the
food ” He perks my lips.
“Ntozakhona ” he rushes off and I sigh. He is
out of sight.
I take the dishes and put them in the sink
before I wash them.
________
I am packing the washing away. I washed today
because the sun was nice and hot and this was
the perfect weather to do laundry. I walk inside
the main bedroom and I place his things nice
and neatly in the wardrobe. He walks in and I
look at him and carry on with my work.
“I promise I am not leaving anymore” he says
and I just keep quiet.
“Cholo” he sighs and comes to stand behind me
placing his hands in his pocket.
“This weekend we are going to Msinga ” I stop
what I am doing and look at him.
“You are going ?”
“We are going ” he emphasises the We
“Its a thank you ceremony ” he continues
“But I am not married to you ” I say. I can't just
show up with him there. Obviously we will
share a bed.
“But you used to....”
“That was years ago, we didn't know better” he
chuckles.
“You look beautiful frustrated” he says.
“Come here ” I go to him and he holds me.
“There will be alot of explaining. Alot of work
being done and trials but we will stick through
them ” I nod.
“ That will happen ”
“I love you ” he says.
“I love you too” he kisses my lips.
“Where were you ?” I look at him, he looks
down on me.
“I am trying to secure a contract with a fuel
company ” he kisses my forehead.
“You will know along the way” he says
“Is it the one Nelisiwe was talking about ?” he is
silent for a moment.
“Its similar content just different people” I just
nod because he won't explain further or in
simple form.
“Let me go and bath ” he holds my hand
“I won't hurt you Cholo. I am trying to fix us so
we can be together happily”
“You think we won't be happy ?” I ask.
“I know we will be,I will make sure you are
happy with me” I smile.
“Ok , let me bath”
He let me go and I went to bath. I hope Msizi
and his father have given up. I am not
prepared to loose Ntozakhona because of my
carelessness but I am not changing my mind of
being here.
______
We are heading to Msinga. It has been exactly
10 years since I have set foot here and I am
nervous. Maybe I will bump into my father and
I am afriad of that. The first question he will ask
is Why am I here ? How will I explain that to
Gxabashe. How will I say I am here because I
am with my boyfriend? I just pray that I don't
bump into him honestly.
I am looking out of the window as my phone
rings. Maybe it's MaNdawonde , I haven't talked
to her in two days. I miss her honestly , I look
at the screen and it's my sister. I huff because
she has something to gloat about. That's the
only reason she ever calls me and it's how
much her life is going well than mine.
“Nofotho” i answer.
“How are you?” she asks
“I am well and yourself ? ”
“Wonderful. Eyi phela we have new furniture.
Leather, My husband got them on lay bye.
Finally they are here ” see
“Wonderful”
“I am sure Dabula couldn't buy any furniture
after his downfall”
“You are speaking illof the dead now ” I didn't
love Dabula but I hate it when she talks like this
about him. He was still a good man who tried
his best !
Ntozakhona looks at me.
“Haibo I am just saying” I hang up on her and
throw the phone on my lap.
“Are you ok?” I nod, he lets me be.
We arrive at his home and it has changed.
Much bigger than the last time I was here and
has running water by the tap outside. I am
nervous as we get out.
“Where is Nelisiwe ?”one of them asks.
“You boys like bringing such things ”
“Don't start with my wife or we will have
serious problems” Nazo says pointing at each
and everyone of them. I swallow.
“Come ” Slindo takes my hand and kids follow
after her. I look behind us at them.
“These are my children” I nod , they look cute
but the boys look like Ntozakhona's
Grandfather.
“Mommy there is Daddy” they rush off to
Sakhile who hops out of his car with another
child that looks just like him. They are climbing
and fighting over him. I am confused at the
moment.
“I need some wine and I think you will too. It's
going to be a long stay " she pulls me in a room
and takes out some wine.
“I have never drank” I say
“Oh , sorry then. More for me ” she pours it in a
glass and hides the wine under the bed.
“Nazo will go ballistic If he sees it” she smiles.
“So tell me. Have you found a job ?" I shook my
head.
“What do you want to do ?” she asks.
“I am not sure , my sister suggested that I study
"
She gulps the wine.
“She is right. You should ”
“I don't have money to do that” I say
“Get a part-time job and study through UNISA
and dont let any man pay for it. It will feel good
when you have done it on your own ” I nod.
“I will try looking for one”
“I will help you” she smiles , she is beautiful
inside and out.
“Mmmh I need more of this before we go and
help out ” she grabs it from under the bed and
pours more. The door swings open and a face
painted lady walks in wearing heels and a dress
that sits her well.
“Mrs Ndlovu the first !” she shouts. I close my
ears. She is loud.
“Mrs Sikelela” Slindo says and they laugh and
hug.
“Yoh I missed you , oh hi” she greets me after
hugging Slindo
“Hi" I wave
“This is Cholo Ntozakhona's Soulmate and Cholo
this is Sanelisiwe, Sikelela's wife ”
“You removed Nelisiwe just like that ?You
deserve a bells shame ” I feel embarrassed
Everytime someone says that.
“Speaking of alcohol. Look what I have !” she
pulls out two bottles of wine and a vodka from
her big hand bag.
“Oh my God. Did Sikelela see you ?” Slie asks.
“No, I put some clothes so they wouldn't touch
and get me in trouble ” she opens the wine.
I assume their husbands don't want them
drinking.
“If we get caught it's all your fault" Slindo says
as they pour wine.
“Wine ?” Sane asks.
“I don't drink" I say
“Its healthy. It's nice " she pours one for me
and gives me a glass.
“Cheers to the Ndlovu Wives club growing ” she
says.
“Cheers !” Slindo says and they gulp it. I take a
sip and at first it's not nice for me but after
more sips it got nice.
____
“Tswala bami , tswala bami
Ohh ngiyabukhalela ....” Sane is singing.
“Where is that child with our Ciders?"
“Maybe he got caught” I feel woozy but great.
We didn't even go to help out.
Sane rolls off the bed and lands on the floor.
“Zidakwa zami , ngiyanithanda yezwani ?( my
Drunkens , I love you ok ?)" She shouts.
“We love you too ! ”
I push the glass away, I am done for tonight.
The door opens
“Baby I have been...”
I vomit on the floor.
“Yoh , you drank alone " Sane says. Slindo rubs
my back .
“Nazo it's not what it...." He walks out banging
the door.
“Yeye sisenjeni lah ( We are in trouble )” Sane
says. I vomits again.
______
They are all looking at us. We managed to
clean my vomit and leave the room looking
clean and smelling like Lavander. We are
outside sitting under a tree and the three of
them are looking at us.
“I am tired” Sane says.
“No one is going anywhere" Nazo says
“I am sorry Thembalam, we were getting in the
reunion mood" Slindo says. His face softens a
bit but goes back to the way it was.
“Yes and having a welcome to the wives club
party Nyana ” Sane adds.
“Oh wena uyu-organizer? ( You are the
organizer)" Sikelela speaks
“You get it " she says and he shakes his head.
“I think a we should deal with our own woman
” Ntozakhona says while looking at me. He is
talking after a long time and I haven't spoken as
well.
“Slindo" Nazo says.
“Visit me in the morning " She whispers to us
and stands up. He takes her hand and they
walk off.
Sikelela carries his wife and she waves at me
and says I must call her. I don't even have her
number.
“Come ” He pulls me up as well and carries me
as well. I can't even walk that I discovered
when we had to come here.
We get to the room we are using and he places
me on the bed.
“You drink now ?" he says after closing the door
and I fiddle with my fingers.
“I am sorry " I say
“I am asking a question " he says. He is angry ,
calm ? I don't know.
“No "
“Then you vomit miracles ” I am silent.
“Sleep. I will deal with you in the morning " he
says and strips me off and gets me under the
covers. He kisses my forehead and walks out. I
try to sleep after that.
What is he going to do in the morning ? I am
now scared for the morning to come.

CHAPTER 8

I was woken up by sharp sun rays penetrating

my eyes. I shut them tighter and the covers
were pulled off me as I try to protect myself
from the sun. A very bad headache came on
and I couldn't stand it. I moan in pain.
“Good morning” Is it a good morning ?
“I have a very bad headache” I say while
squinting my eyes. I open and look at him.
He is in overralls and a black vest as well.
“Thats your first punishment. ” I sat up while
holding my head.
“Are there pain killers?” I ask. He folds his
arms
“The were pain killers but I flushed them down
the toilet this morning” What ?
“What ? How co...ahh” I moan while holding my
head.
“Come so you can prepare bath water no
sleeping” I want to cry.
“I am sorry , I won't drink again” I say
“Cholo come“He is waiting.
I get off the bed slowly. I get dressed before we
walk out. I will never drink again , mark my
words.
_____
Did I say I wouldn't drink again? Well I was
lying , What convincing women they are in
desperate times. I am downing it like there is
no tomorrow. Sane takes the plastic and I
throw my bottle inside it. We are watching
Slindo take a bath, we have already done our
bathing. She has some marks on her body and I
am worried. Did he hit her ? Is he abusing her
yet she is laughing at whatever Sane is saying
like she is normal.
“Cholo” I look at her snapping out of my
thoughts
“What is wrong ?” I look at her waist.
“No man it's not what you think” She says while
wiping her body.
“I need to throw these away” Sane says
She takes the plastic and takes a bag from the
bed and shoves the plastic inside.
“Thats Nazi's gym bag”Slindo says
“What is he going to gym with? The cows?" Sane
says.
“I think my headache us better now ” I say. It
does feel better. I feel better.
“Thats how you cure a hangover. Bebethi
basibambile kanti Cha silithile ( They thought
they have got us but no,we Alert” Sane says.
“What happened to your waist ?” I wanted to
ask.
“A heavy punishment , look at mine” Sane pulls
her t-shirt up and they high five” I am confused
with these two
“They hit you”
“Oh Cholo no, Nazo has never laid his hand on
me” I look at Sane
“Igwayi Mntase , iyasebenza. ( their Machine
does the work)"
I am still confused.
“Punishment Sex” Slindo clearified
“Oh ” I don't understand why they look like
that.
“My man knows his stuff shame. I will drink
any day for what I had lastsnight.” Sane says
and Slindo laughs.
“Let me get dressed ” she says
“Let me go and throw this away” She takes the
plastic and goes out , Slindo looks at me.
“You seem distracted” she says
“I don't know how Ntozakhona will punish me ”
She giggles.
“Good luck”
“Is it going to be bad?”
“I don't know ” the door opens and Sane is back
“Cholo , your man is looking for you ”
“Yoh , here is some mouth wash and sweet, say
you drank coffee ” Slindo hands to me and I
wash my mouth and spit in her water and take
a sweet.
“Be alert ok?” Sane says and I nod. I walk out of
the room and we to find him. He was by his
car, I swallow
“You called for me ” I say
“Get inside. We are going somewhere ” He says
I look at the car and him.
“Get in Cholo so we can come back” I am
scared. I got in the car
He got in as well and drove off. My heart is
beating fast.
“How is the headache?” he asks
“Ok” I say and he looks at me.
“You got pills?” I shook my head and he
squinted his eyes. I remember the lie I was told
to say
“I drank coffee” he doesn't seem to believe me.
It is silent until we get to the river. When was
the last time I was here. He hops out and comes
to get me out. I do and he closes the door
behind me.
“Strip” What?
“Nto...”
“Now Cholo” I take off the skirt I am wearing
slowly
He is looking and waiting as I strip everysibke
cloth on me.
“Even the head wrap” he says.
I take it off and I am left in my natural hair.
“Go inside ” Haah, never I can't .
“What If a snake comes and takes me ” I say.
“It won't , go” he is so sure . I walk slowly
onnthe rocks. I am naked on my birthing suit. I
step on the cold water and I slowly make my
way inside.
He takes off his shoes and folds the bottom ends
of the overrall. He crouches and looks at me .
“Are you comfortable?” I shake my head
”Good” He goes to the car and comes back with
a 2L bottle and throws it to me and I catch it.
“I want you to finish it ” He says.
“What is this ?” it looks yellowish
“Drink” I open it and take a sip
“Again" I take another sip and it doesn't taste
nice.
“Thats everyone's pee” I gagged ,he chuckled.
“I am joking” He says
“I hate you“
“I will see you after an hour , drink all of that or
we will have problems ” I don't know what it is.
“I am sorry Please”
“Drink Cholo” He walks to the car. The water is
cold at the same time I am freezing.
“Ntozakhona!” He takes my clothes and gets in.
Soon he is gone. I stay there and I cry.

I didn't drink what he gave to me. I spilt it

inside the running water. I couldn't get out
mainly because I don't have clothes here. He
doesn't know me yazi. He really doesn't. I saw
his car approaching and I swam by the rocks
and I laid on my back closing my eyes. I
breathed slowly yet unnoticeably.
“Cholo!” I ignored him.
“Baby !” Still I kept my silence.
“Shit !
I stayed rooted where I am not moving. I felt
him picking me up from the water
“Shit what have I done ” He says. I am wrapped
in a blanket and he places me on leather.
“Bafo Its Cholo bafo I made the biggest mistake
of my life ” I could hear his voice breaking a bit.
Shame Man.i am not falling for it.
“I am coming ” The sound of the door closing
made me open my eyes. He seems frustrated
and his head is onnthe steering wheel.
I sit up and touch his shoulder. He turns to the
back and I smile at him.
“Check mate” I say.
“You fucked me up Cholo !” I laugh
“You left me in the cold ”
“Stop drinking" he says
“I am sorry” He clicks his tongue wiping his
face and starts the car
He is angry once again. He is at fault here.
______
I wasn't allowed to enter the family rondaval
when they were consulting the Ndlovu
ancestors as I am not part of the Ndlovu family.
Ntozakhona hasn't talked to me since the river
incident and Slindo fed me her kids medication
so I wouldn't get a cold. She didn't have
medication for adults I think she is still a bit
drunk as well and I would hear her saying she
wants Nazo she is feeling fuzzy. When the goat
was slaughtered they disappeared so it could
only mean one thing.
“He doesn't want to talk to me” We are making
steam bread for tomorrow so we can just cook
and not have much to do. We did the peeling as
well with Sane.
“We will go to my room. I have just the thing
that will make him talk” She says.
“What ?" she just giggles.
“You will see ” This one always has tricks up
her sleeve
The aunts aren't very pleasant but the fathers
are. I didn't want to bump into anyone of them
and I did the best as I could. We get done with
the dough and put it away. It's getting late anesy
and we have to wake up early tomorrow
because it's the eating day and the neighbours
will be here. I follow Sane to her room and she
takes out a suitcase she fiddled inside
“Perfect!” She takes out a black mosquito net
and hands it to me.
“Its for the flies?" I ask.
“No man, it's for a man. Go and bath. Then wear
that and let your hair loose” I touch it
“Its tangled”
“come let me do it” I sit down and she undo my
benny and betty. She combs it and gets done.
“Just bath ,Wear and sleep all over the bed. He
will start talking” She says
“Thank you” I walk out.
I go and prepare bath water and I go and bath. I
get done and discard the water. I get inside and
I go and get dressed, I look at myself and I don't
feel bad actually.
“Izobonana bafo ( I will see you back)” I hear
him outside. I switch off the lights and get on
the bed and close my eyes.
The door opens and the lights are switched on. I
keep my eyes closed and I hear him coming
closer. His warm breath against my neck , he
kisses it softly
“Mphefumulo wami ” I pretend to groan.
“Baby are you asleep?” he asks.
“I am trying to sleep Ntozakhona ”
“I am sorry I was a jerk earlier ” he says.
“Mmh”
He runs his fingers over my body and he is
ontop of me. I feel his buldge on my butt.
“Ntozakhona I want to sleep”
“Please baby , just two ”
“What ?”
“Rounds. You can look this amazing for me not
to touch”
“You are angry at me”
“I am not ” he kisses my neck
“Please” he moves the lady thong to the side
His finger is inserted and I moan.
“I will just put in a tip real quick” This man
Bathong !
_____
“A tip has been inserted now let's sleep” he
rests his hand firmly on my back and goes
deeper. I gasp and moan.
“Khona ” he groans
“Fuck baby you look sexy”, he spanks my butt
cheeks.i am sure they danced somewhere and
too long as well .
He thrusts in and out and creats pain and
pleasure.
“Oh,ahh ” i moan
“Mmmh , shh he says. And I bite my bottom lip
and he increased his pace
CHAPTER 9

I look at myself through the mirror and I tie the

head wrap around my hair. He untied it and I
turn around as he throws it on the bed.
“I need to wear that " I say
“I love your hair. It now has grown " I struggled
growing hair when I was young.
“Uhm , it's rice water method that helped " he
runs his fingers through it.
“I love it ” It feels nice that he is massaging my
sculp.
“Let me get ready " i say and he holds my waist
then kisses my lips.
“Yesterday was amazing ” I smile.
“Really ?” He nods.
“I love everything about you” he runs his
fingers on my skin , I feel a his warm breath on
my skin and I feel shivers.
He nibles my neck and goes to my earlobe and
he kisses my shoulders.
“You are delaying me Ntozakhona ” I say
“I don't want to let you go"
“I am all yours " He wraps his arms around me.
“One day Ngizokumithisa ( I will impregnant
you one day)” he says.
I place my hand on my stomach.
“You will make a great mother I know.” he says.
I turn around and I look at him.
“I love you ” I say
“I love you too”
“I will discard your water " he nods and kisses
my forehead. I take it away.
_____
“Makoti Cela uze ngapha ( please come this
side. )” I was walking with Sane. We are serving
people.
“Baba ?" We both stop. He signals for me.
“Go Cholo. You will catch us in my room " I nod
and I walk towards him.
“Ungathuki Makoti. Hayi angilumi ( Don't be
scared Makoti , I don't bite )” he says while
looking ahead with his eyes squinted. He places
them behind his back.
I am quiet because I don't know what to say.
“Can I get you anything ?”
“You are Makhathini's daughter " I swallow.
“Ye...yes ” he nods while still looking ahead.
“Hayi anginankinga nawe ( I don't have a
problem with you)”
I nod slowly . He then looks at me.
“The wives in this family are growing and
gluing this family together " I nod.
“I hope you will do the same ”
“Yes sir ”
“Baba ...” he says
“BabuGatsheni ” he smiles. He seems
intimidating
“Hayi Ungahamba ntombazane ( You can go )" I
nod and I walk away
I went to the kitchen and placed the tray down.
I got some water and I went to Sane 's room and
I knock once and get in. Slindo is feeding her
son.
“You took long ”
“I am intimidated ”
“We are not drinking today"
“Definetly "
I agree. Let's lay off that for a while.
“I have got you a job Cholo " Slindo says.
“Oh , where ?" I ask
“You are going to be a temporary personal
assistant at a practice in Durban ”
“Wont I fail ? I have never worked in my life " I
say
“You won't. You will put in your best” I nod.
“How did you pull it off ?” Sane asks.
“Just a little waist movement on top got me all
the contacts I need " Slindo says and she takes
her child in her hands and cradles him. He is
sleepy.
“Yes ! That's how you do it " Sane says
“This is extreme " I say
“If you want something. Find ways to get it
from your man ”
“We need to corrupt you. Try it tonight and he
will be singing his clan names ” Sane says.
“Rule number one ,most important rules of all.
Let him dominate and think he is in control ”
Slindo says
“When you know you are the one in control "
I am confused.
“Its like letting your guard down but you are
not "
“Yes, I can't explain it " Sane says.
I nod.
“I see "
“Rule number two ...” this is going to be a long
one. I am learning alot
____
I jump on the bed and he follows in as well.
“I am tired ” he says
“Should I prepare bath water for you ?"
“No baby. I just want to hold you while I am
sleeping " I get off the bed and I strip my
clothes.
“Switch off the lights ” he stands up quickly and
undresses as I get under the cover. He switches
off the lights and gets in bed.
He pulls me close to him and I lay my head on
his chest.
**********
“Nkosazane ( princess)” I turn around and it's
the same person from last time.
He was standing there with hands in his pocket.
He looked fresh and very out of this place like
and also more well dressed than the boys from
this village. All I remeber is that he is a Ndlovu.
I have heard more about them after that
encounter.
“Bhuti " I say taking my bucket out of the river.
“Its Ntozakhona " he says and I nod looking
down.
There was silence between, us. I picked the
bucket up but he stopped me
“Ngicela imizuzwana ( can I have a few
minutes)" I placed the bucket down.
“I love you ” he said. I was shocked and he
doesn't know me.
“You don't know..."
“Cholo Makhathini” he says.
“I know you " he continues
“I have to leave. My father is expecting me ” I
say.
“When can I see you again ?"I put the bucket on
my head.
“I have to go " I rushed off walking and leaving
him behind. His words played in my head as I
walked back home.
********
“You rememeber when I first said I love you ” I
smile.
“I was scared and confused” he chuckled and
ran his fingers on my skin.
“You ran away from a potential husband "
“He is my boyfriend now ”
“Not for long ” he kisses my forehead.
“I love you Cholo. Always remember that , I
will try my very best to make you happy"
“I know ”
I look at him. We are supposed to be resting
but here we are talking.
“I will do the same ” I say
“You are everything" he says. I hold onto him.
I wouldn't want to let this go again. I close my
eyes and let sleep consume me.
___
I now offically live in the city, not the rural
areas and With the job that I will get I am
happy. I haven't talked to Ntozakhona about
that but wanted to wrap my head around the
idea of me working. I have prepared his
favourite meal. He is home and working , this
contract thing is frustrating him. I don't really
know what it is but all I know it involves Fuel ,
transportation in trucks. That's what I know. I
also know that he is branching on his own path
for his own.
I am making something I don't like but hey he
loves it and I am going to beg here.
“Smells nice” he walks in as I am cooking.
“Yes. I am almost done ” he goes to get a glass of
water.
“Ok” I nod and keep at what I am doing.
“Baby we need to talk " he says and I look at
him.
“Yes ”
“I am thinking of sending a letter to your in
laws” I drop the spoon and look at him.
“Gatsheni ”
“MaGxabashe "
“It will come off disresctful " I say
“How ? I want to pay Lobolo so how is it
disrespectful?” I sigh.
“Dabula, my ex husband. He hasn't finished a
year or six months and then you come and send
a letter. It's ... It's going to come off as that ” I
say
“I don't care. I saw you first" is he claiming me?
Marking me ?
“Ntozakhona " he is hearing non of it.
“I got a job ” he looks at me and sips his water.
I am waiting for him to talk
“Where ?" He folds his arms and leans by the
sink. I turn the stove down and look at him.
“At a good surgery. I will be a personal
assistant” I say.
“Is it safe ?" He asks.
“Uhm well. I don't know ” he shakes his head
disapproving.
“How did you get it ?" He asks.
“Slindo and Nazo” his face softens a bit.
“You want to work ?” I nod.
“If it makes you happy and you are safe then it's
ok” I go and give him a kiss.
“Thank you "
“Do what's best for you but where your safety
concerns I won't compromise” his face hardens
to the last statement.
“Ofcause ” he kisses my forehead.
“ I am glad we understand that. " He puts the
glass in the sink.
“I can't wait to eat" I smile and nod.
“I will bring the food to you ”
“I would love that Mphefumulo wami ,we will
talk about the Lobolo later " he walks off and I
sigh. This will just look bad.
I go and take my phone. I have to call
MaNdawonde. I have missed her.
“My child. I don't know you anymore " she
teases.
“Mah , I am sorry. Where I was I didn't have
time to touch my phone "
“Arew you well ? "
“Yes.i have a job now. ” she ululates.
“Thats wonderful news. God is good ” I smile.
“Are you and the others ok ? " her tone
changed.
“Ye.. yes we are fine ”
“Mah "
“I am strong my child don't worry " Now she is
worrying me.
“I am worried ”
“Focus on work and go to school. I am proud of
you ” she brushes me off.
“Thank you ” I am more worried about her
now. I will ask Chiliza later on. She will tell me
I know .
“I have to go. Bye. I love you ” she says
“I love you too Mama " she hangs up and I look
at my phone. I am worried about her and I
hope everything is well.
I finish cooking and I dish up for Ntozakhona
before g

CHAPTER 10

I am in thoughts and not at ease , I can't get

over how our conversation went from sweet to
sour in just a quick moment. Turn even ! I am
worried and I am thinking of going to Nongoma
to check on things.
“The subscriber you have dialed is not avai...”, I
hung up and throw my phone on the bed and I
lay on it.
Chiliza , I can't seem to reach her and Ciyela. I
wonder what is happening. I am not ok , I am
not. I take my phone and I try them again.
Chiliza comes through at long last. I stand up.
“Chiliza, hey how are you ?”
“Where are you ? I want to live with you ” she
says , her voice seems to be breaking"
“What is happening ?” I am shaking.
“I am pregnant ” , I was tongue tied.
“It's uncle's child ”, she bursts into a cry.
“Where do you live?”
“We are in Durban at a place called
Glenashely”,I don't know Durban. I don't even
know that place
“Uhm I will try , I don't know that place”
“Ok”
She hangs up and I break down in tears. It's all
my fault. Maybe he got to Ciyela as well as
MaNdawonde. I change the clothes I am
wearing and I have to think , where will I take
them. This is not my house but Ntozakhona's
should I talk to him and see his idea. Maybe he
has a better plan. I walk out of the bedroom
and went down to the kitchen and I found him
there eating again.
“I am sorry, I just had to have another plate"
that's not what I am here for.
“I am going to Glenashely” I have !add up my
mind.
He frowns looking at me.
“For ? "
“My family. They need me , they ....”
“Talk slowly so I can understand ” I breathe out.
“My in laws are in Glenashely. I was with Msizi
because of the traditions his father put forth
and since me and my ex husband didn't have
kids together I was there to have kids with him
in all of that in exchange of a good life for my in
laws. ”
“They are in trouble ” I nod.
“What were you planning to do ?” he asks. I
don't know
“Go there ”
“And do what?" He looks at me.
“I would figure it out there ”
“They want you. They want me dead for taking
you. ”
“So I am just going to stand here and let them
suffer there. No I won't. I would rather die
Ntozakhona. ” he is silent.
“Even if it means moving to Nongoma for them
to be ok I will ” The last statement didn't sit him
well.
“You would choose them over us ?” he folds his
arms. This is tricky , I love them all.
“Its a difficult thing to do” I settle for that. He
gets up from his chair and throws the plate in
he sink.
“Come ” he takes the car keys and takes out his
phone.
We walk out and get to his car. I get inside
while he is busy with his phone. When he is
done he gets inside and it's silent. No one is
talking to anyone , maybe I shouldn't have said
what I said because now he is upset. It was very
wrong of me. I place my hand over his and look
at him.
“I am sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said
”,he is still focused on the road.
“You meant it ”
“It doesn't mean I would choose any of you or
leave you. It's just they have became my family
and if anything happens to them it's my fault ”
“Mmmh ”
“I am sorry Gatsheni”
We are both silent after that. We get to his
home and he parks the car , I won't question
him until I know what is being done. He hops
out and I do the same as well as he signaled.
We approach his father who is looking at us.
“You can go inside Makoti ” I look at
Ntozakhona before I walk off.
I got inside the house and looked around. There
is a helper at the kitchen. I sit down and watch
her move around , she comes and gives me a
beverage and I thank her. I drink my drink
down and sit there waiting. I will just have to
trust Ntozakhona with everything.
______
It's 7pm and no one has showed up. I am full
and also sleepy , it was the helper and me but
she went to rest in her own backroom. She told
me so, I don't have my phone with me to call
him and ask what is happening. His father
didn't even stay just told me to come inside. I
am worried and scared that maybe something
has happened.
The door opens and I stand up on my feet. They
walk in and I rush to MaNdawonde's arms and I
break down in them. She hugs me tightly.
“I am sorry mah, it's all my fault" I say.
“Dont cry. I am glad you are ok” She pulls us all
in and we hug her. I have missed them and I
am glad that they are ok.
“You should rest", BabuNdlovu says. We nod
breaking the hug.
“Let me show you where you can rest”
“Thank you ” MaNdawonde says.
I follow after them but Ntozakhona holds my
arm.
“Lets talk ” I am not ready but I nod. I follow
him outside and he stops and looks at me.
“I am sorry" I say
“What you said didn't sit well with me ” he says
and I look down.
“Look at me " it's a command. I look at him
instantly.
“I don't like it when you doubt my powers as a
man. When I ask you many questions it's
because I want to know what I am dealing with.
Hayi ngoba ngiyislima ( Not because I am a
fool)” I nod.
“This is not over ” He kisses my forehead and
spanks my butt.
“Come ” he pulls me by my waist.
“Are you angry?" I have to ask to know what I
am dealing with.
“No, we don't sleep angry at each other" I nod.
“Ok” he perks my lips and we enter the house.
“What happened?”
“You don't need to know " I shut my mouth
after that.
______
“Happy birthday to you ! ”
Birthdays seem to be a very big deal in this
family. It's Qiniso's birthday and it is big.
Ntozakhona told me that events in the family
are very big and are sentimental.
“Say cheese !” Afika says to him with a camera
and everyone is laughing
“Get me a beer ” Qiniso says and Afika snaps a
photo of him.
“Kodwa nkosi Ndzena ukuzala ukuzelula ( Oh
my God ,Ncoo)
“Nx ” everyone laughs.
“I will get you guys something to drink ” I nod
and Ntozakhona kisses the side of my forehead.
“Cholo ! ” I turn my head. Oh it's Sane and
Slindo. They rush to me and we share a hug.
“You are glowing. Having a baby ?" Slindo asks.
“Oh No. "
“Its the bedroom life then ” Sane says.
“Oh Ladies these are my sister's. Chiliza and
Ciyela ” I introduce them.
They came with us to the party and
MaNdawonde opted to leave and go back to
Nongoma. I am not happy but she assured me
that her sister will come and stay with her.
“You all have names that start with C” Sane
says.
“We also married men that have the same
initials as us. ” Slindo says.
“Nazo is an N nje ” Sane argues. Now they will
talk about this ?
“Its Snazozonke" Slindo corrects.
“Oh , I guess then. ” Sane smiles.
“Nice to meet you and your face looks familiar "
Chiliza says
“I get that ” Slindo smiles.
Ntozakhona comes back with juice.
“Yabora yoh , no punch ke ?( you bore , No
punch ? )” Sane says.
“Stricy instructions. No drinking. ”
We nod.
“I will be with the gents "
“I need the bathroom ” Ciyela walks off. She has
been silent since we got here.
“Is she ok ? " I ask Chiliza
“She has a crush" Chiliza spills the beans. She is
the one person you can go to when you want
information.
“On who ?” Sane asks sitting down.
“Haah , I won't tell but he is here ” we look
around.
“I hope it's not my husband " Sane says.
“Which one is your husband ?” she points at
Sikelela
“No, not even ”
“Is it mine ?” Slindo asks
“Which one is yours ? " she points at Nazo
“No , oh you are the Minister's wife. It's an
honour to meet you " Chiliza says.
“Oh stop it. We are chilled ” Slindo says
“Then who is it ? " I ask.
“I think he introduced himself as Sakhile ” The
girls choked on their drinks.
“Sakhile ?”
“Yeah. Wait there they are ...”
We could see them disappearing.
“Lets go see " Sane takes off her shoes and puts
the glass down.
“I am game ” Chiliza does the same and we all
do it. Ntozakhona looks at us with a frown and
I just plaster an innocent smile
We rush off to the other side of the house. We
went around .
“Here they are ” Sane says in a whisper.
“I can't see " Slindo says
We take a chair for her and she gets on it. We
see them through the open side of the window.
They are talking but we can't hear them.
“What are they saying ?” we shrug.
Next thing they are kissing .
“Hawemah ” Chiliza pushes Sane by mistake
and she tumbles by Slindo who jumps off the
chair and lands on me.
“Ouch” I say
“Shhh” They freeze.
They pick Slindo up and me as well.
“Did you get hurt ?" she asks.
“Just a scratch ” I say looking at my elbow. We
rush off.
“Ayi that was something else " Chiliza says.
“I don't want to seem like I am jealous when I
am not but I am worried about your sister
being with Sakhile ” Slindo says.
Why ?
“Why ?" Chiliza asks.
“Sakhile can lure her in his charming traps.
Trust me I know him.” Slindo says and dusts
herself.
Did they once have a thing behind Nazo's back.
?
“She was married to Sakhile before. They have
3 kids together ” Those kids are not Nazo's and
they are ok with raising your cousin's child.
Well that's basically your child as well.
“Why did you break up ?”Chiliza wants to
know.
“He was a serial cheat. He cheated before we
even got married but I was in love with him.
We got married and I thought he loves me
because he married me. I don't know how
many woman he has cheated on me with but I
also cheated with Nazo and when he found
out.....”
“Nazo ruined my wedding yazi he has to pay
me my money" Sane says and Slindo chuckles
“What did he do ?"
“He declared his undying love Infront of my
husband and everyone else ” That was messy , I
can imagine.
“Maybe he has changed ” I try saying. Who am
I convincing. ?
“Yes maybe. He has over the kids so maybe "
Slindo says smiling.
“Dont tell your sister what we told you " we
look at Chiliza.
“I won't.”
We walk off.

CHAPTER 11

I look out of the window and I take a deep

breath in and one out. He holds my had and I
look at him as he kisses it. I smile at the gesture
and it seems to be calming me down I am
nervous and it's something I have never done
before. Will it go well or will it fail ?
“Relax. You are going to be ok”, he tries to
convince me.
“Ok, I will ” I say but my nerves say other wise.
“Should I go in with you or ....” I open the car
door.
“I will be fine ” I grab my bag.
“Now close that door and let me open it " I close
it and he hops out , he comes and opens it for
me. I hop out with his help and he kisses my
forehead.
“I am one phone call away ok ? " I nod.
“Bye "
“Bye baby” He closes the door and I walk away.
I fix my skirt a bit and I look at myself. Sane
took me shopping before I could start my new
job. It has been close to two months since
Ntozakhona and I have gotten back together.
Things have been good so far. Chiliza wanted to
go back to Nongoma and we let her be while
Ciyela goes to school. I don't know who is
paying since I don't think their uncle will pay
again. I walk inside the surgery and there is a
receptionist.
“Hi ” I greet.
“Hi , how may I help you ?”
“I am here for the tem..." She interrupts me.
“Doctor Buthelezi is not in as yet but I will show
you around ” I nod.
“Thank you ”
“You may take a seat” I nod and went to sit
down. I wonder what doctors need assistance
for.
I will see when the Doctor has arrived. I update
my overprotective boyfriend about what is
happening. I can sense that he wishes he is here
holding my hand and taking me through
everything like a child going to school for the
first time. I appreciate that but I want to do this
on my own. I have no experience at all so this
will be very challenging.
SLINDOKUHLE

I wrap my arms around him and his head is

laid on my chest. I don't care about the sweat
but only about him calming down. He groans a
bit as I try saying calming things. He is trying to
break out of my hold. If he gets to her we will
have to prepare a set of black clothes and fake
tears.
“Snalo is growing ” I say , maybe thinking about
his son will calm him down.
Things escalated last night. One of his aunt's
showed up without announcing. She kept on
complimemnting him in an inappropriate way
and I didn't like it but ticked Nazo off. I thought
we were past it but when we came to our
bedroom he kept on saying. “I am not over it.
You can never be over trauma”. Sakhile put me
through trauma as well but I am over it. I learnt
go let it go but I guess it's difficult for him. I
have seen my husband at his worst and his best
as well. I love every thing he has displayed to
me because I love him and I have to love the
whole package.
“Calm down ” Tears streamed down his cheeks
and I felt a lump in my throat.
He tries breaking free from my hold but I don't
want to budge as much as he is strong.
“Thambalam”
He seems to calm down a bit but the little boy in
him surfaces and he is at his weakest. He is
emotional and is letting everything out. I keep
on comforting him. I run my fingers on his bare
back.
“Everything will be ok ” Will it ? We have tried
every therapist. We have tried every anger
management class but we always go back to
square one.
He holds onto me and as my mother side comes
out. He needs me now more than anything. His
emotions are overpowering him. There comes a
knock on the door.
“Haibo kanti uwuMakoti inkabi ohlala lapho ! (
what kind of a wife are you sitting in there )”
it's the aunt . I ignore her knocks. I kiss Nazo's
forehead and pull my phone out of my pocket. I
want his father to fetch his sister. This is not it !
“Ndodakazi ”
“Baba , I have a problem. Nazo..” he interrupts
“What did he do ?"
“Your sister is here unannounced" I say. I won't
sugar coat it.
“I am coming she better not be there when I
land ” he hangs up.
I look at Nazo and he is staring into space. I
hate these episodes. I wish to really know what
they did to him to damage him this much. I kiss
his forehead and hold him to assure him that I
am here.

CHOLO
“This is my diary. I have scheduled surgeries
that are booked at the reception ..” I nod.
“Yes ”
“You are shaking ” I am nervous . I look down.
“I will do my best ” I say
“Lets hope so. Welcome and be calm and try
your best” he says. I nod .
“I will be in my office ” I nod.
He went inside. I turned. I will have a little
desk by the reception.
“How are things ?” she asks.
“Complicated ” I say. They really are
“You will be fine ” I nod.
I wish it seemed that very easy.
_____
I threw my body onnthe couch and I look at the
ceiling. He follows inside and goes to the
kitchen. He comes back and pulls the coffee
table closer to where I am and takes my legs
and he takes my shoes off. He then massages
my feet.
“A whole Zulu man doing a massage” I say and
he chuckles.
“Ngidlisiwe ( I am under a love potion )” I move
my legs and I sit on his lap.
“Your support is admirable ”
“I have to ” I peek his lips.
“Thank you for everything. For loving me the
most out of all the girls.” he kisses me and I
respond.
***********
“You run away from me alot " I jump and
almost spill the water that I am carrying.
I put my hand on my chest as he had frightened
me.
“I am not running away” I was. I didn't even
like going to fetch water anymore because he
would stop me.
“Why don't you want me to love you ?” He says
with his straight face.
“Why do you want to love me ?”
“I feel it. " He just says.
“I don't know you ” I say
“I am Ntozakhona Ndlovu ” I know his name.
“You have told me that a thousand times. "
“It could be changed but who are you ?”
“I am who I am. Nothing accompanying it after.
” He says and I huff.
“Ok , bye ” I turn to walk away.
“Ntokazi” I stop my tracks. I turn around.
“It would sound nice one day. My name being
Ntozakhona Ndlovu , Cholo's Husband ” My
cheeks heated. He smiles and looks down.
“They already know you at home. ” oh my God.
“I don't know you either than your name ”
“Then get to know me ”
I looked at him.
**********
I open my eyes as the door is being banged and
almost taken from its hinges. I am in bed. All I
remember is him and I at the lounge and here I
am with him walking inside the bedroom kid
this. I sit up and I look at him.
“What is ....” he starts talking while passing uo
and down.
“They want to start war. They are starting with
me ” He says in his own.
“Ntozakhona ”
“Fuck ! ” He throws his phone at the side lamp
and he tumbles breaking. I jump holding onto
he covers really tight. What is happening ?
He goes to the bathroom and closes the door. I
look over the bed. I get out of it when I hear
water. I take my gown and pick up the broken
pieces. I went to throw the away and clean up
the place. I get done and make some tea for the
both of us. I walk up the stairs when I am done.
He is out wearing his boxers.
“Here is some tea "
“I need something strong and cold. Like a
brandy or something ” I keep quiet and he
walks past me and goes out. I take off the gown
as I am feeling hot.
I place the tea down and I get down with mine.
Slindo once said that alot of things can calm
them down. I finish my tea and I went to wash
the dishes. I dishes the food into containers and
I put it away in the fridge. I go around the
kitchen. Cleaning around at that moment. He
walks in and looks at me before he lightly
chuckles and goes to the fridge and takes out
water.
“What is wrong ?” I ask. He looks at me and
picks me up. He places me on the counter and
looks at me straight in the eye.
“Don' t tempt me when I am like this or I will
fuck you till you can't breath ” I swallow. I look
at my nightwear. Shouldn't have listened to
sane saying this is a night dress for adults and
not what I am used to.
“Are you sure about that ?” I say , he smirks.
“Are you challenging me ?” Oh no Cholo. What
have you done ?
He rips the item off my body. It looked so
beautiful for it to be done like this.
“Nto..." he pulls me by my legs and I am laid on
my back on the cold counter.
“Angithi uzenza iBad bitch. ( you are trying to
be a bad bitch )" He locks my legs firmly as his
eats me roughly yet I am enjoying.
“Oh Baby ”. I throw my head back.
His tongue is doing wonders to me. I feel my
legs shaking and he stops ,
“Turn around " He commands and I do. He
spanks me and goes down again. Roughly, he
stops and spanks me.
“Come ” He picks me up and walks out of the
kitchen.
“We eat on that counter ” He is not playing. He
is going to show me.
________
I look at my body through the mirror. I feel
tired and he didn't have any Mercy. I didn't get
any and that's what I am looking at , he seemed
fine after from all his anger but here is where
the aner got me. It was nice though, maybe
that's why Slindo and Sane get in trouble so
much because their husband's do this. He
wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck.
“I am sorry” He says and I turn to him.
“Its not bad. ” I say and he touches my neck.
“Atleast i didn't touch here” he would've killed
me then.
“Get dressed. ” he says and I nod going off to
get dressed.

CHAPTER 12

I knocked off quiet early today. My boss has an

emergency at the hospital and all the
appointments have to be canceled for today. I
call Ciyela in the process of wanting to know
how she is and how is everything going in her
life. I wait for Ntozakhona to come and fetch
me while I make this important phone call.
“Sisi wami ( my sister )” she says
“How are you?” I ask
“I am fine, school” she says
“And your boyfriend ” I add. She is silent a bit
“You have a boyfriend ?” She sighs.
“Uhm maybe ” she says
“Who is it?” I ask already I know who it is.
“You will know sometime. How is Ntozakhona?”
She asks
“He is ok”
I see his car approaching.
“I have to go. I will call”
“Ok, thank you for the call bye ” She hangs up
and I went to his car. He came to me and kisses
my forehead
“Are you ok?” he asks rather jumpy.
“Yes I am ok”
“Ok , let's go” He pulls himself together.
“Everything ok?” I ask
“Everything is ok” We get inside the car and he
drives off.
“Baby ” I look at him.
“Just stick with me and I will sort everything
out ” He says.
“Is there something wrong?”
“Business deals but it's ok” He looks stressed.
“When we get home I will do something nice for
you” he smiles and nods.
CIYELA

He holds my hand as we walk up the stairs to

my room. Cholo doesn't know where I live and
she would freak out if she knew who I am
dating and is paying for my fees. I didn't mean
to call for Sakhile but the day I saw him when
we were taken from my uncle's place he
charmed me and I liked what I saw.
I open the door and we walk inside. I close the
door and he settles on the bed as well.
“You must be exhausted. I cooked” I say.
Driving from Pietermaritzburg to Durban , I feel
special too.
“I ate along the way, we need to talk” that is the
reason why he is here.
I join him on the bed and he looks at me. I am
nervous, we kissed at the party but never
confirmed if we are in a relationship or not. I
like him so much, the guy girls usually dram off
. I have dreamed off before as well.
“We kissed that day and it got me thinking ” I
swallow
Is he about to say the opposite of what I am
wishing for ? I don't think I am ready to take in
anything he is about to say at the moment.
“I like you, I really do and I would like us to
start something and see where it goes” Yes , you
don't have to say anything further.
“Yes ” I agree , I want something with him. My
first boyfriend, oh I am so excited.
“As you can see I am a grown man” He is but
charming as well.
“I am in my 30's ” he doesn't mention the exact
but that's close to 10 years older than me.
“Oh ok”
“I was bad in the past, did alot of things and
hurt alot of people. I am not perfect Cici but I
can try. I want to try and maybe see where we
can go. I am tired of game and that's what I
have been doing. I just want you to know is
that I was a womanizer. I am not proud of it. I
was once married and I have 5 children. 2
daughters and 2 boys but my first born child
has deceased.They are from different women. I
am telling you this because I don't want
someone coming and telling you this when I
could've cleared the air to avoid things. ”
Baby mama and ex wife drama is not what I
want.He seems like he has alot of baggage but I
want to give him a chance it's just that ladies
always have drama.
“Your ex wife and Baby mama , I don't want
that drama ”
“You won't have that. Ase's mother passed on
and Slindo is married” Slindo ?
“Slindo?” he nods.
“Wait how.. which Sli..” he holds my hands.
“Calm down. Yes Slindokuhle who is Nazo's
wife is my ex wife and the mother of my 4 kids.
Including the one who is no more. Slindo
doesn't have drama and she loves her husband.
We just communicate regarding the kids and
there is no issue. I promise”
I am skeptical but he knows her and she seems
nice so I don't think we will have any problems.
He takes off his jacket and pulls me to his chest.
“I will leave tomorrow morning ”
I nod.
“I will give us a chance but cheat on me and I
will leave you. I don't believe in sex before
marriage so please respect that” I say to him
and he kisses my forehead.
“I will try my very best to make you happy” I
smile.
“Thank you”
“Thank you for giving me a chance” I nod.
I mean who wouldn't give him a chance. I can't
wait to tell Chiliza about this.
_____
CHOLO

We had planned a massage date with the ladies.

It's the 5 of us and we are visiting Slindo in
Johannesburg. The city is busy for me and
already I am trying to adjust to Durban and it's
going well. The whole Place is booked just for
us and we are relaxed here , Ntozakhona just
said I am leaving for a few days, I will come
back when everything is sorted.
“I can't seem to get through to Sikelela” Sane
says and I look at her.
“Been having the same issue with Nazo”
“I thought Sakhile was playing me. I was ready
to leave " We look at Ciyela
“Wait you are dating Sakhile?” Sane asks. She
didn't confirm it.
“Oh my word. Congratulations” Slindo says with
much joy and we look at her.
“Can I have sandwiches please?” She asks the
lady and she walks off.
“Uhm yes. He made it official 2 days ago” she
shyed off.
“What did he say?” Sane asks.
“He was honest with me and told me about his
past ” She looks at Slindo.
“I guess I was included huh?” She nods.
“Well don't worry, I have my man and he is
mmmh that thing is mine ” Slindo says and we
laugh.
“I will try Ntozakhona later” I say.
“So, I heard we will be heading wedding bells
from you” Slindo says.
“What ? ” I am confused.
“Well Ntozakhona was going to ...oops” She
shuts her mouth.
“Talk” Sane says looking at her.
“He wants to propose” They scream. He has
mentioned sending a letter but we stopped that
day we spoke.
”He didn't tell me anything ”
“Obviously he doesn't have to" Ciyela says.
“But It will look bad that my husband just died
and now I am getting married. Maybe wait a
year or two”
“You are drunk now ” Chiliza says
“Haibo ! ” I look at her.
“She is right , you can mourn Dabula Forever
and besides. Mama won't have a problem ”
Ciyela says
“You just don't understand. " I say
“You don't understand how much that man
loves you” Sane says
“Yeah, give it to him” Slindo says.
“Can we have more wine?. Where we are going
it's forbidden ” Sane shouts
“Yes please ” Slindo agrees.
Chiliza is having some juice while at that and I
want wine as well just to relax. My thoughts
roam around the idea of marriage. Yes I love
Ntozakhona. I want to get married to him one
day and be his wife and mother of his kids but
timing is the problem.
_______
We leave the spa pretty late and we get to have
dinner at a fancy restaurant all because of our
boyfriend's and husband. Chiliza is the only one
who doesn't have a partner and her answer
is.“Why would I need a partner when your men
include me in spoiling you guys ?”. That's her
conclusion but in all honesty I am worried
about her. Yes I don't want her to date now but
what she went through is something that can
scar her. Sane and Slindo are not slowing down
on the wine and Ciyela has joined in. One , two
glasses and she can't see properly.
I got her water so she can downing down but
she refused , she wants more of that sweet
drink that Slindo is having. We are eating
fancy, Ciyela , Chiliza and I use spoons to eat as
we can't handle fork and knives.We have more
drinks and my phone rings. It must be
Ntozakhona.
“Hello” Everyone looks at me. I stand up and
walk away from them.
“You sound different ” He says
“Oh , my voice is fading ” I say.
“Are you drinking ?" He is waiting for me to lie
and I do.
“No ”
“Cholo ”
“I am not, I am having juice, i think I am
catching a flue ”
“Ok , call me after an hour ”
“Ok , I love you"
“I love you too" he hangs up
I walk back to the girls and we have some more
food. Slindo calls an can and she pays for the
drinks and leave the food to be payed by her
husband. We get in one and it takes us to her
house. It's big and beautiful ,fit for a queen like
her and I am sure her husband bought it for her
more than him included. We walk inside and
Ciyela is thrown on the couch.
“I am going to switch off the cameras” Slindo
says and walks off.
Why would she do that ? She only knows.
“Can I have more wine?” Ciyela says
“No ,that's enough for you ” Chiliza holds her
Slindo comes back with more drinks and it's a
drinking party. Ciyela is now resting off the
alcohol. Atleast we will see these men when we
are sober , for now let's have some fun
_______
The sun is what woke me up at this hour. We
are all curled up on one bed. I open my eyes
and stares are on us. I pat Same , Slindo and
the rest of them quickly. We are in trouble, shit
I didn't call him after an hour.
“Mmmh Cholo sleep ” Sane groans.
“Sanelisiwe” She wakes up quickly to the sound
of her husband. We are naked and only in our
underwear.
“All of you off the bed ” We get off the bed.
“I have a headache" Ciyela says.
“Thats why you get for drinking” Sakhile is
pissed off.
“ I didn't do anything ” Chiliza says , true
“We didn't do anything ” Sane adds. I am in it
woy Ntozakhona but wine is nice honestly.
We are following each other in a line like we
are in primary school. We are led out to the
pool side and Chiliza is the one who is left
behind.
“We go out there sacrifinsing our lives our
wives home in this state "
“Jump inside. All of you” Nazo says.
We look at the pool. I will drown in there , I
look at Ntozakhona.
“We can't swim ” Ciyela says
“Should've known when you were drinking like
a fish "
We mess us, can't they accept we have a good
time . They girls having a good time .
“Its either you jump in or have an ice bath"
They suggest
“Weeh , how about you just Punish us in the
bedroom" Sane suggests.
“Musa ukusa wena ( Don't be smart with us)”
Sikelela says.
I just started crying and they all join in.
“yeyi Yeyi Yeyi !, Nikhalelani ( Why are you
crying?)” They are panicking.
“We are sorry” I say , the tears are dropping.
“Yes we are just having a good time. Yobe
Gatsheni ( sorry)” Sane says
“Yes , wine is healthy. It's just wine" Slindo cries
the most . It's like someone died.
Nazo can't resist and embraces her.
I run to Ntozakhona's arms and he takes me in.
“Uyisghebengu wena ( You are a crook)” He
whispers in my ear.
I keep on crying as he runs his fingers on my
back.
We got away with it just like that.

CHAPTER 13

He looks at me as I get dressed and shakes his

head. He has been doing that since morning . I
get done and I turn to look at him and he stands
up from the bed and comes towards me. I place
my hand on his chest and he flinches a bit. I
look at him
“What's wrong ?"
“Nothing ” He says.
I move his top up and he has a bandage. I look
at him
“Its nothing serious” This what? The 100th time
I have seen him injured.
I move away from him and he holds my waist.
“I am sorry , I am ok” tears stream down my
cheeks and he hugs me gently.
“I am sorry ”
“I don't want you to die” That's where it's
heading if this keeps on going on.
Are they playing who can dodge the bullet all
the time ?
“I won't die ” He says , I remove myself from his
hold
“How sure are you ?” I ask
“I know.” he says.
He wipes my tears as I sniff
“Don't worry” I worry , alot.
“Ok?” He continues and I nod.
“Give me a kiss ” I perk his lips.
“The others are waiting " I say
“Can we have a quick chat " He says
“Is it important?" he nods and I went to sit on
the bed.
He joins me and he holds my hands.
“I love Cholo, so much and you know that. I
have always wished for the day we would be
together again after you left but it seemed like a
distant dream. I waited and the wait was too
long and I ended up with Nelisiwe because of
many things but I won't go there for now. I will
later. I want us to get married without anyone
or anything stopping us. If I die I want to die
your husband , that would make me happy" He
smiles.
Why is he talking about death?
“Are you dying ?” he shook his head.
“No, but I want to send a letter to your in laws.
”
“Ntozakhona, it's all fast” I say
“Its not, we are actually wasting time if we wait.
I have loved you for over 10 years and so have
you. If you feel like I am pressuring you then
we can wait till you are ok” he says
He is not pressuring me. I wouldn't want
anything more than to be his wife , his helper ,
his forever and peace till we die. I am just
scared about what my in laws will says. Dabula
hasn't even lasted a year underground. I want
to marry him and be his wife more than
anything. Is it wrong of me to want that ? I sigh.
“Ok” I reply
“Ok, as in ...?”
“You can send the letter. We can get married”
“Really?” He asks and I nod with a smile.
He gives me a big kiss and I laugh. He gets on
me and we share a kiss. His hands go to my
dress and he removes the straps.
“There are people in the house” I say through
the kiss.
“I will lock the door"
He goes and locks it. He takes off his top and
comes to me.
“I love you” he says.
“I love you more” He carries on kissing me and
caressing my body.

CIYELA

We are in the kitchen making some breakfast

and Cholo hasn't came down with her man.
Chiliza is drinking some water while looking at
Sane who is talking. She is talkative and bubbly
in a way. Enjoys nice time as well.
“Cholo saved us ” She says
“Nazo said he will get me ” Slindo says while
taking the sausages from the pan.
“Don't they get tired ” Sane says.
“Nazo talks about image. I am the Minister's
wife and I have to have a good image. I can't be
drunk” She says taking out the cutlery's.
“Why doesn't he also you to drink at home or
when you are with him ” I ask.
“I don't know. One thing I know is that I won't
give up having a great time ”
“Me too shame. ” Sane says drinking water.
“Help me set up the table ” Slindo says and we
take the food.
“Where is Cholo?” Chiliza asks.
“They are punishing her. She cried first” Sane
says.
Sakhile walks in the kitchen and my heart beats
faster.
“Can I borrow Ciyela ?” he says.
“There is a fine for that " They say , haibo I
want to go
“I won't give you money ” he frowns.
“No, baby sitting the kids for a week” Sane says.
He looks at us and is defeated.
“Sure”
They high 5 with Slindo.
“You are smart”
“We are going on a trip. We need baby sitters ”
Trip ? What's trip ? There woman will be the
death of me.
“Come. I want to tell Nazo we are going ” The all
walk out.
“I am sorry" I quickly say. I also participated in
the crying. I saw it was a solution.
“That act you all pulled" I look down. He sighs
and places his hands in his pockets.
“You don't tell me you drink ” He says not
pleased.
“I ... It was my first time ” He says.
“I won't drink again " I say , I fiddle with my
fingers.
“I am not controlling you Cici, I don't mind if
you enjoy wine but when I am there atleast. It
would ease my mind. There are men out there
who are vultures and would take advantage of
you one day and I don't want that mistake ” He
is making sense.
“I am sorry” I say
“Its ok, next time just be careful" I nod
“Come here ” I go to him and he gives me a hug,
it's warm and I love being in his arms, he kisses
my forehead and I smile.
I love him and it's all good quick. My feelings
are quick but I trust him and love him.

CHOLO

We went down stairs after being cleaned up

and we have freshened up. He holds my hand
as we walk into the dining room. They all look
at us and I look away , it's like they know what
we have been up to upstairs. I sit next to
Ntozakhona when we settle.
“I think that everyone is here we have issues to
raise " Nazo says looking at everyone.
We are in trouble, I guess we didn't get away
with it.
“The drinking issue” He starts , the food is
Infront of us and I am hungry but no one is
moving.
“I won't speak for the others but I have spoken
to my wife in private on that matter, we fuss
over it because when you are not around us we
don't want to wonder who is taking advantage
of you all when you are drunk, it's best if we are
there. ” Nazo says
“Or when you are home with us ” Sikelela adds.
“So we can have wine ?" Sane says
“Yes, not more than 2 glasses a day" Sakhile
adds.
“Sifile ke lapho ( We are done for there )” Sane
softly whispers and I am the only one who
hears her because she is next to me. This one is
a certified drunken , that is confirmed.
“Are we clear?” we all nod.
“Another thing ” Nazo says and looks at
Ntozakhona. I look at him.
“You all are going to Msinga for 2 weeks ” What
?!
“No ! We are going on a vacation Babakhe
please" Slindo pleads.
“Sakhile promised to baby sit. ” Sane adds.
These two are something else
“I am sorry, your safety comes first" Nazo says
and I look at Ntozakhona.
“So you put us in danger ? ” Nazo holds Slindo's
hand.
“We will talk" He says.
“What is going on ?” Sane asks.
They are the only ones talking we are just
girlfriends and we can't say much .
“The less you know the better”
“I hope you don't die Nazo cause I will slap you
inside that casket." Slindo is livid.
“Just think of me and another man if you put
yourself in danger " Sane points at Sikelela.
“That shit won't happen” he says
I look at Ntozakhona and he holds my hand. I
am scared of loosing him to forever , what if
something happens to him.
“I am pregnant. I am hungry" Finally someone
says it.Chiliza complains. She is not even
showing as yet.
“You can dish up " She does and I do the same. I
can't let hunger kill me.
I stuff myself with a sausage and egg. The wives
are on their husband's throats about the matter
that we are leaving.
“I don't want to see your aunt's !" Slindo says.
“We don't have a choice Slindo" Nazo replies.
She is not happy at all.
“Cholo and I are getting married ” I choke on
the sausage and everyone is on their feet.
Water is brought forward and I drink up. I
know that we discussed and agreed but it was
just said unexpectedly.
“When ?” Nazo asks.
“I will send the letter by today and maybe by
this weekend eveeything will be done regarding
Lobolo" that's is quick.
“This weekend ? What's the rush ?” Sikelela
asks.
“I want this out of the way before they can go to
Msinga " He looks at him.
“Ok then. Is baba sending the letter ?" Nazo asks
and Ntozakhona nods.
“Yes" he looks at me.
“Comgratulations Honey ! ” Sane is now cheer
some. She comes and hugs me .
Wasn't she threatening her husband a few
minutes ago . Even Slindo joins in.
“This calls for a celebration "
“Celebrate with water and sugar ” Sikelela says
as he grabs a plate. Sane gives him a look.
“You can suck someone's mood. Just 2 glasses”
“No" They sit down. We all indulge in breakfast
and eat.
After the breakfast we went to wash the dishes.
“So where is the ring?” there is supposed to be a
ring ?
Slindo holds my hand.
“You need one ” she says.
“Is it part of the tradition ?"
“Honey this is past the 90's. ” Sane says
“A nice diamond would fit" Slindo smiles.
“There goes our trip” Chiliza says.
“Awungitsele we oe ( Tell me about it)"Sane
says
“I am not ready for the aunt's. ”
“I have to do my nails. I don't want them to
send me around ” Sane says.
“We will go to the river and sing. It's nice" They
look at me.
“What ?" I ask.
“Ayi , fetching water and nice ” Slindo says.
“It actually is , maybe it's because we have
stayed in a rural area for years. " Ciyela adds.
“Yes, don't bring your expensive clothes” I say
“ I might learn to cook all traditional foods"
Sane says.
“We can teach you " Chiliza adds.
“I want to learn how to make Zulu beer. That's
the only thing my grandmother hasn't taught to
me ” Slindo says.
“This will be fun ” I say
“Makoti Boot camp 101,I have to get us T-shirts”
Sane says now excited.
“And arrive in style ” Slindo adds.
“And show those aunt's what we are made off "
Chiliza adds and we laugh.
“Now I can't wait ” Sane rushes out. This one
doesn't know the rural area that much.

CHAPTER 14

He rolled his pants up by the legs and he walks

towards me. He touches my back softly and I
stand up with the bucket full of water. I was
used to him bombarding me when I came to
fetch watwr alone or with the others. It was
nice seeing him from time to time and was
quiet interesting , I wanted to know all about
him and what he does , his clothes , the way he
looks I was mesmerised about all of that.
“You look bare today” He says and I looked at
and I look at him.
I didn't see any issue in that. I had just came
from the reed dance with my sister and it was
wonderful but now I have water to fetch so I
can cook. My father always kept record of our
virginity. It was very important to him.
“I was at the reed dance” I said and he nodded.
“Have you ever been to one?” I asked him and
he shook his head
“For?” He asked.
“To choose a wife ” I picked up the bucket and
placed it on my head.
“I already have one ” He said.
“Who ?” his gaze didn't move from me.
“You” I blushed and walked away from him.
“I love you !” He shouted , those words he never
failed to say everyday. I was starting to fall for
him as well.
I loved him as well and still do.
**************
“Why do you seem worried?” Ciyela asks.
I snap out of my thoughts and I look at him. It's
the day of my lobolo negotiations andnwe are
going to Msinga after this.
“Will everything go well?” I ask myself.
“Everythjng will be ok” Chiliza says.
We are in Dabula's bedroom and I look around
it. It's still the same way I left it. Neat and
clean. The bedroom door opens and
MaNdawonde walks inn she comes and hugs
me.
“How is everything ?” Ciyela asks.
“BoMalume are angry. They felt disrespected
hence they are giving them a hard time” Oh god
no. I should've just eloped with him.
“Can't you do something?” Chiliza asks.
“I can't intervene. We just have to wait ”
“How much are they charging ?” Ciyela asks.
I am scared and nervous at the same time.
These old crooks can't ruin this for me , I refuse
!
“I don't know. They are speaking to your fiance
about the price increase ”
“I was married before , I am not a virgin" I
point that out. What are they charging that
much.
MaNdawonde laughs a bit and pulls me to sit on
the bed.
“But you are valuable Cholo. You are worth it ,
each and everyone of you ”
“They are going to buy nip with that Money and
a new leather jacket. I heard One of them say ”
Chiliza says.
Leather jackets. No that money is going to Mah
here.
“Your uncles ” She says. Those broke leaches.
They are seeing a money making opportunity. I
am livid.
“Calm down ” Ciyela sees my rage and I want to
cry.
My phone rings and I jump to take it. I answer
the call.
“Hello”
“Hey honey. how are you?” It's Sane.
“Nervous. The uncles are trying to ruin things "
I say
“Yeah I heard ” she says
“I am sure they have turned back" I lay on the
bed.
“No, we are still here , Your man told them to
give them what they want. Phela ukufuna lah (
He wants you now ), who will warm his bed
when you are left behind. ?”
I sigh.
“I don't know"
“Just wait a few seconds. I have the t-shirts
here ” She really did them ? Such a determined
woman she is.
“I will let the others know ” I say.
“Ok,bye love" She hangs up.
“Its Sane " I say and the others nod.
“Let me check how everything is going " Mah
stands up and goes out.
“Dont worry. ” They try to calm me down. I
haven't even seen or talked to Ntozakhona in 2
days. I miss him.
I miss him so much and is tempted to call him
but I know his phone is not with him.
________
Finally ! Everything went well after they got
their claws on the Ndlovu's and sucked them
dry. They could be like that. The only people
who were going to be served were Abakhongi ,
we won't eat and so as the others outside.
We packed up and went out to where our rides
are. I rushed to him and gave him a hug. He
sighed and kisses my forehead.
“I love you" he says
“I love you too”
We break the hug.
“Congratulations. Here is your tshirt.” Sane
gives it to me and Ntozakhona is confused.
“Asambeni ! ( let's go)” Sikelela shouts and we
all hop in the cars. Soon enough we are driving
off. I take off my top and doek and I wear the t-
shirt.
“You don't wear a bra?” I nod
“My breasts are not saggy” I try shedding light
as to why I don't wear one.
“I see ” He moves his free hand and goes under
the t-shirt.
It goes to my breast and he squeezes it a bit and
keeps on playing with them.
“Ntozakhona ” He chuckles and removes his
hand.
“You always touch them " He says
“Its nice when I do ” he says and I shake my
head.
His phone rings and it comes through to blue
tooth. He answers it .
“Bafo"
“They will block us as we come out. We need to
use the other route out ” it's Nazo
What is really going on here ?
“Sure” he hangs up and I look at him .
He looks at me and looks away.
”Ntozakhona Ndlovu ”
“Mmmh ?"
“What is going on ?"
“Something small ” he says.
“Small yet we are shipped to the rural area and
now being blocked. Don't tell you are involved
in illegal activities " I point at him.
“I am not. The only crime I committed is being
with Nelisiwe" He is focused on the road.
“What did she do ?"
“Thats enough. ! Just know I will handle
everything ” He says a bit pissed with me
prying.
I keep my silence and look outside the window.
He passes by a franchise and gets food. I don't
eat because I have lost my appitie. Why is he
not telling me what is really going on ? I have to
know as well , I am about to be his wife so we
don't have to keep secrets from each other.
“So you are going to starve yourself ?” He says
after some time of me not eating.
”I am not hungry” I don't look at him.
“Eat Cholo. I won't have you not eating "
I ignore him.
“I think we should lay down some rules in this
marriage thing. Number 1, you eat no matter
how angry or what emotion you are feeling. We
don't sleep angry at each other. We solve issues
and we communicate ,Now eat. " He says.
I take the wrap .
“Funny how you talk about communication but
someone lacks it "
“I am trying ”
“What is Nelisiwe doing then ?"
“Damnit Cholo ! Eat and don't ask unecessary
questions " I click my tongue.
“I will cut that tongue out and fry it " he is
seriously pissed and so am I.
I look out of the window and I shove the wrap
in my mouth and forcefully eat it.
The rest of the drive to Msinga was very silent.
No one bothered to talk to anyone at that
moment.
_____
We arrived on time at his home stead and we
got out of the car. I didn't even notice what the
t-shirts were written. Slindo rushes to me and
gives me a hug and I return it. Hers is written
First Makoti and I assume Sane's says that as
well.
“You are offically part of the Ndlovu Wives
club" I chukle.
“We will talk later" She sees that there is
tension and walks away.
I take my bag and leave the big bags to the
tough guy . I walk away to the room I will be
using. His room that is and I place my hand bag
on it. He walks in and places my suit case at the
corner and stands Infront of me. I sit on the
bed and take a breather.
“I am leaving ” he says and I nod.
“Cholo, when I do things it's because I am
protecting you. Somethings are better off not
known. Just know I will handle everything and
we will be ok” he continues.
“Honestly why are we here?” I ask.
“Just trust me ” he says.
I nod while sighing. I am defeated at the same
time.
“Am I forgiven ?”
“Yes” I say
“Ok , kiss me good bye” I stand up and give him
a kiss.
“There is a gift in your suitcase. I will gift it
properly when I see you ” I nod.
I walk him out and soon they all leave. We
stand there for some time.
“BoMakoti anize nizo sebenza , Anizele
ukuzoba unobukiwe lah !( Hey ! Come and
work , you are not here to be a statue !)” they
have started.
“Lets go ” we all turned and went to wear
suitable shoes. Sane specifically because she is
wearing heels.
I am sure she did it go piss these aunt's off. I
went to the suitcase and I opened it up. I saw a
white envelope and I opened it.
“You will find the greatest gift at the first place
we met" That's the river. I will go there later.
I close the bag and I walk out to help around.
They even closed the bathroom in the main
house saying it is wasting water even the stove ,
we are not allowed to use it.
“I will commit murder tonight" Sane gives one
of the aunt's a killer stare and carries on
chopping
“They don't have a life" Slindo says. I agree.
We carry one ith working.
_______
“Wont a snake come out of there ?” Chiliza
shakes her head and she gets in the water and
dips her bucket inside. The rest follow and do
the same. I am already done with my bucket.
I walk to the spot where I first met Ntozakhona.
I won't forget that day ever in my life. I stood
there and looked around. I saw a white
something and I went to it. I took the envelope
and there is a box. I take it as well. I open it and
it's a ring. I smile , in Movies they go down on
one knee. He couldn't even give it to me atleast
from him.
I open the envelope and it has a sweet note. I
close it.
“Cholo asambe ( let's go)" Ciyela says
“What is that ?" Chiliza asks
I turn to them.
“A ring ”
They leave their buckets and rush to me. It's
out of the box and on their hands. They are
already fitting it on their fingers.
“Oh my God. He has taste !” Slindo says.
“I feel like mine was bought from the taxi rank
now ” Sane looks at hers and they laugh.
“It looks beautiful"
Slindo slips it in my finger. It fits perfectly.
“This is my wedding ring" I say. I don't want to
buy another. It comes from a sacred place.
“My fellow sister , you ... You Ayi I give up ”
Sane claps her hands and walks away.
“This is the spot I first met Ntozakhona " I say
“Thats so cute. I met Nazo at a stadium and he
was with his psycho girlfriend back then ”
Slindo says.
“Why are you saying psycho?” Chiliza asks.
“She once choked me because of Nazo's actions.
He loved me more than her " She smiles so cute.
This woman is beautiful !
“Sikelela and I met at a club. I don't know why
he doesn't want me to drink now. I told him if
it's between him and alcohol. I would go for
alcohol. I love him but that thing has been my
friend since 15 ” Sane says and in her sentence
there is some sadness. I wonder.
“Lets go and make fire! " she sounds like her
hyper self again.
We carry our buckets and they struggle a bit
but they get the hang of it on the way. We start
singing some songs with Ciyela and Chiliza and
the two join in with us . They are enjoying as
well.

SANELIWSIWE

I am tired from the events of today,my neck

mostly from carrying that 20L bucket from the
river back to the house. Those aunt's are
torturing us when there is a tap in the yard but
no. They locked it. Lock and all. I throw myself
on the bed and take off my shoes. My feet hurt
and I need to take a bath for this. My phone
rings and I take it, I check the caller Id and it's
my husband. I answer it.
“Muntu wakhe ( Her person)" I say.
“I miss you ” I smile and lay on my stomach.
“I miss you too” I say.
“I found 2 Stashes in your bag " I run to it. No !
How are we going to cope now ? Me ?
“Sikelela ...”
“You need some time off Sanelisiwe ” tears roll
down my cheeks.
“Si...”
“No , I love you and this is me loving you.
People have alcohol posioning. Day in and out.
After this I am taking you to rehab or
something to get over this addiction”
“I am not going to cope ” I say
“You will cope . Everyone copes without alcohol
" He doesn't understand. He doesn't know and
understand !
I hang up and I sit in a corner. I hold my feet
and I cry. My phone rings and it's him. I throw
it on the bed and I cry my lungs out.
CHAPTER 15

My phone rings and I am about to rest. I take it

and it's Ntozakhona, I smile while sitting on the
bed and I answer his call.
“Sthandwa sam” He says.
“How are you? Have you eaten ?” , I ask.
“Yes, I am ok and I have eaten.”
“Ok then.” I miss him already.
“Baby ,Sikelela is worried about Sane. She is not
answering his calls and We can't reach Slindo ”
I stood up.
“I will check her and call you ” I say
“Ok, he is really worried. He is thinking of
coming down there right now ”
We were ok with Sane , I wonder what's wrong
now.
“i will check on her ” I say.
“Ok, I love you ”
“I love you too”
The line goes off and I took my gown and wore
it. I went out of the flat and made my way to
Sane's room. I knocked on the door.
“Sanelisiwe , it's Cholo” I heard the door
unlocking and she threw herself in my arms.
She was crying and I wonder why, I just brush
her back slowly
“It will be ok, let's go inside” she removes
herself and wipes her tears.
We walk inside and I close the door while she
sits on the bed.
“What is wrong?” I have to ask, did Sikelela say
something that upset her ?
“Its nothing ” she dismisses me. Something is
definitely up right now .
“You can speak to me and it's ok.”
“I am an alcoholic” she says with a chuckle and
sniffs. Well we know that but I don't say. I sit
next to her.
“Why do you consume so much alcohol?” I ask
“I cope with it Cholo, my mind has been
traumatised so much from a young age ” she
says
She wipes her tears and I am in silent. I will let
her cry and speak when she wants to.
“My life is a mess and Sikelela says I need help”
She does .
“Do you think you need help?” I ask
“I don't know ” she says.
“Your husband is worried about you. Call him
before he comes here” she giggles.
“He is being dramatic” these Ndlovu men don't
play. They will be here quickly.
“Just a call”i say and she nods.
She takes her phone and looks at me.
“I will tell you one day Cholo” I nod and stand
up.
“My arms are always open for comfort ” she
nods.
“Thank you ” I kiss her forehead and I leave her
to call her husband. I went back to the flat to
call my man.
“Baby” he says so quickly
“She is fine " I say
“Ok , thank you. I will call you tomorrow. ”
“ok bye ” he hangs up and I lay on the bed.
_______
The next morning I woke up very early around
4 am and went to make fire so we canbath and
start with the day. These aunt's are really giving
us a hard time. I went to everyone's room and I
knocked on their door. Slindo opens
“Its so early Cholo” she stretches her body.
“Good morning Mrs Ndlovu , your bathing
water is ready” She looks at me.
“Its even dark outside Cholo” I nod with a smile
and she gives me a look
“Can I sleep for 2 more hours? ” I shake my
head.
She groans and walks inside to wear a gown
and she comes out following me , we went to
wake the others. They are not happy and
Sanelisiwe seems to be better today. I hope she
really is and since yesterday I have been
worried about her. We all got bath water and
we went our seperate ways and bathed. After
we were done we discarded the water and then
went to the main house. We knocked as they
have locked themselves inside and knocked.
“Hayike phela safa we want to eat ” Sane bangs
the door. Seriously is this what we are going to
face for 2 weeks ?
“I am calling Nazo. This is utter nonsense”
Slindo dials her phone.
We keep on knocking.
“We should've brought our own food ” Ciyela
says.
“Hello , it's in there. They should give us our
food" Sane says.
I keep on knocking.
“Damnit ! Nazo is not answering his phone ”
Slindo huffs frustrated.
“Lets burn the house down !!” Sane shouts and
we look at her.
“What ?" the door opens and the aunt looks at
us.
“Nisibangela umsindo ( you are making noise)"
she gave us a look.
“We want the food we came with and don't look
at us that, usuthi uneme ( you are full and
happy ) That's our food ” Sane says and I hold
her hand as she points at the aunt. Her fire
should die down a bit.
“Sane " I shake my head. Yes the aunt's are
wrong but we have to respect. This is her in
law.
“Cholo ..." I shake my head and she huffs before
clicking her tongue.
“You all forget that you are married into this
family. This our yard and what we say goes. If
we want to starve you then we will and take it
as a wife !” the aunt says.
“Laphoke angivumi ( I don't agree with that )”
Slindo pushes her way in and Sane follows. The
aunt pulls Chiliza and she Yanks herself.
“Nazi ingulube zinginonela. Dade ! Dade webo
Dade nizongibonisa imihlola , udoti labafana
abawuganile ! ( my Goodness, come and see
what rubbish these boys have taken as wives)"
Sane takes an empty bucket and she is loading
everything that is in the cupboards.
Slindo opens the fridge and takes out the meat
and leave only butter. Sane passes the bucket to
Chiliza who moves out with it.
“What is going on here?!” The fellow aunt's
walk in.
“Ciyela take that kettle. My husband bought it "
Sane points at it and Ciyela grabs it.
“Cholo take something ” Slindo says and I just
grab what I can grab what is going on ? Oh we
are taking food. ”
“Stop it ! All of you "
Slindo closes the fridge and walks out with the
meat in another bucket.
“Good luck ”
We all walk out and went to Slindo's room and
placed everything.
“You are savage " Ciyela says to Sane.
“Those aunt's think that they can just bully us "
Sane says.
“And I am tired of it. ”
Chiliza grabs milk and Cereals.
“Open your mouth ” she comes forth.
“What ?"
“We don't have dishes” she shrugs.
“I remember a set I bought. It's in there ” Sane
stands up and I pull her down.
“I think they have had enough for the day.
________
We are laying in Slindo's room. We have just
watched a movie and ate what we ate. We are
thinking of just leaving this place and going
somewhere. Somewhere where pur husbands
won't find us. Slindo called a cab and we went
to our rooms. We switched off our phones and
went to pack our clothes. I got done and I went
to Slindo's room.
“The cab is here ”
“Please, can we leave "
“We will go to my mother's house ” Ciyela
suggests .
“Ok,We are going to Nongoma. I hope we will
have fun " Slindo says excitedly.
“MaNdawonde is a sweet person "
“Lets go then " We went out of the room and the
aunt's were looking at us.
“Don't come back! " They shout.
“We won't ” Sane says. We get inside the cab
after loading our things.
The cab moves and i look at my phone. He said
he would call but he hasn't, I am worried but
with these ladies here , they are distracting me.
They are really a ball of fun and I am enjoying.
Sane is clinging on me and I don't really mind. I
think she is Inna bad space and would need a
friend. I lay my head on her lap and I close my
eyes. We did wake up early.
______
“Amamntombazane amahle kanje , Ngibusisiwe
me namuhla ( Beautiful girls here in my yard. I
am so blessed)" MaNdawonde says as she hugs
and kisses us.
“You left yesterday and come back again.
Ungangitseli ukuthi sebeyakubuyisa ngoba
sengiyidlile imali ( don't tell me they are
bringing you back because I have spent the
money )” we laugh
“Cha ,sivakashile ( No , we are visiting )" I say as
we walk inside.
“I was about to make Zulu beer. Phela kwaGoba
kunomsebenzi manje badinga utswala besizulu
( The Goba family has a ceremony and they
need Zulu beer )" she says
“Go and put your bags down.” She continues.
“I will share with Cholo" Sane says first.
“Lets go ” We went to the room I used to use
and she closed the door.
“I think I am ready to tell you but tonight" She
says.
“Ok, Uhm then we will speak tonight" She
smiles.
“I do trust Slindo it's just that she has alot of
problems to solve and bringing mine is just
going to be too much " She smiles and wears
her flops and takes off the does.
“My expensive weave needed the fresh air " She
says running her fingers through it.
I look at her , she is beautiful and has a
beautiful heart. I hope whatever that is
bothering her is healed.
“You are beautiful” I say and she looks at me
and smiles.
“You are too" We share a hug before we walk
out and go to help MaNdawonde out. She is
giving us busicuits and tells us there is some
food from yesterday if we are hungry and we
are. We couldn't stay at that place for 2 whole
weeks. Shame no.

CHAPTER 16

We are officially removed from the city life and

now part of the rural area. We have African
mask (Ibomvu) for the past week and a half we
have been here , we even look like the wives
here and have gained weight. MaNdawonde
has been feeding us so much you would swear I
am pregnant but I am not. That I know.
“Gaya mabele , Gaya Mabele KaZulu
Gaya Mabele , Gaya Mabele KaZulu
Izwe lakithi , Izwe lakithi KaZulu
Izwe lakithi , izwe lakithi KaZulu...”
We kept on singing while collecting the
blankets from the river. We woke up very early
just so we can wash them and leave to go and
help out. Now they are dry and we are
collecting them. Sane hasn't told me what's
bothering her and we haven't opened our
phones. We are too carried away with being
here and having fun.
“Dudlu Ntombi madolo kanyoko , angithuki
wena. Ngithola Uthando, qoma Ntombi ngafa
inhlamba kanyoko !( courting ) ” We turn
around holding the blankets and we look at
these men standing over the rocks by the river.
“Seniyongifica phambili( You will catch up to
me ), Sikelela has my eyes and I can't see them
” Sane says while walking away.
They come to us and stand infornt of us. There
are 3 of them.
“Zweli” Chiliza says.
“It has been 2 years" he says to her. The leader
of the group by the looks.
“Keep on trying " She says and he smiles.
“Mama ”
They look at us.
“Abafowethu bangajabulela ukuthola oMakoti
abanye abahle njengani ( My brother's will be
happy with having second wives like you )”
“They are married Zweli, you are married too"
Chiliza says.
“I will see you ” He smiles and she turns and
walks away.
“Zweli from where ?” I ask, surprisingly I don't
know him.
“He is the son of the new Induna after dad” I
nod.
“This is fun and all but I can't live here ” Slindo
says.
She has adapted to the city too much and so as
us. We are liking the city as well.
“Sane ! ” We shout and we don't see her.
We get home and she is helping MaNdawonde
with making food .
“I am almost done with making food , you
ladies can rest”
We nod and went inside , we packed the
blankets away and the rest went to sit outside
on the mat. I took my phone , it has been quiet
some time talking to Ntozakhona. I was
tempted to switch it on from last week but I
fought temptation and now I can't. I switch it
on and lay on the bed .
Missed calls and messages, they come flooding
in and all from him taking up space from my
phone storage. I don't go through messages and
go to contacts. I just want him to know we are
ok. I dial his number and it goes through quiet
quickly. We are both silent for some time.
“I got it! ” Nazo says in the back ground.
“Where are the rest?” He is pissed by the
sounds of everything.
“We are all together. They are ok,we are ok”
“We are not, You will know us ” Sounds like
Sikelela and he is shouting.
I drop the line and just breathe out. I shouldn't
have called them. I went outside and they were
having some juice with MaNdawonde.
“I think they are coming for us ” I say
“Who?" Ciyela asks.
“The guys.”
“oh no. We have to relocate ” Sane says it like
we are on the run. Basically we are on the run
away from our partners
“No one is going anywhere. Sit down and have
juice” I am not about to say I am the one who
compromised us.
I sit down and have some juice as well, let's
enjoy the peace for the last time.
We had food when it was ready and
MaNdawonde taught us how to make beads and
we tried our best, I think what made her happy
more than anything is that we are here and
giving her company as well. She tells us how
she will use her lobola money on getting her
house fixed and extended but didn't hint how
much was actually paid for me but she talked
about making her house have 4 bedrooms and
adding a better hut and also gating the place.
We went to take a bath and after we sat
together by the night fire that was supposed to
be dying out.
“I am not a singer but I learned how to sing
while here ” Slindo says and we chuckle.
“You guys are great people ” Chiliza says.
They are really great people.
“I am sleepy ” I say and Slindo pulls me to her
lap and I rest on it.
______
Someone shakes me out of a very peaceful sleep
that I am quiet enjoying. I brush the person off
but I receive slaps on my cheek.
“Mmmh mmmh " I moan .
“Wake up, Ntozakhona is here” I open my eyes
and Sane is on her feet putting a doek on.
“What !?” I get off the bed and change from
what I am wearing. She looks at me and we are
done.
“I was still enjoying being here, it's refreshing
”,We are surely going home after this
We walk out of the bedroom and we bow our
heads as soon as we see them. Even Nazo's
father is here. Ntozakhona stands up but the
pull him to sit down. I glimpse at the rest and
we are all looking down. Their aunt's would've
starved us.
“We are sorry for coming unannounced” Nazo's
father says to MaNdawonde.
“No , it is fine. Lihle ukubona abakhwenyana
kwami ( it's nice to see my son in laws here )”
They chuckle lightly just to pass by.
“We are here to take the girls ” Nazo's father
says.
“I am staying ” Chiliza says
We all look at her and look down again.
“I can't be going around in my situation " She
points out.
“Ok, we will come and check on you” Nazo's
father says and the rest agree.
“Oh , that would be kind. Thank you ”
MaNdawonde says
“Go and get your bags ” We follow each other
going to take our bags.
“Nazo is going to kill me " Slindo says as we
walk to the rooms.
“I think you will survive. Cholo is in big trouble
” Ciyela says.
“Why me ? " I ask.
“Didn't you see how Ntozakhona was ? " she
asks.
“I did but ...”
“Call us ” I nod. Now i am scared , I wonder
how they found us.
We collect all of our things and we walk out. We
are saddened that we are leaving and Mah tells
us she will miss us and we will as well. We are
walking out following each other and no one
has spoken to anyone. We get inside the car
seperately. Ntozakhona hasn't gotten inside
for a moment.
He finally gets in and he looks at me and I look
away , He starts the car . I don't dare say
anything at that time and the car moves.
“How did you know where we are ?” I ask.
“You are going to ask me that shit ! " He holds
tightly to the steering wheel.
“Its not Shit , it's a question ” I say
“It is shit , you risked your life like that . All of
you !” He makes hand movement
“Risked our lives how , what are you keeping a
secret?”
“When we tell you to stay somewhere. Stay
there ” He says
“And let your aunt's mistreat us ? Never shame ,
ngiyala ( I refuse)”I clap my hands.
“Its just for two weeks ” He says.
“2 weeks? Ok let's see if you can't eat for 2
weeks ”
“Thats dramatic” He says.
I keep quiet.
“I am not going to be sorry for something I don't
know I was endangered for ”
“So us is not something you know ?” He asks
and I look at him.
“What did we do ? ”
“We got back together and removed someone
from this matter !” I think. Nelisiwe.
“What did she do ?"
“She is not going down without a fight. That you
should know ” I swallow.
Really ? We have to face this as well. I am not
ready, he becomes silent and I let him be. I
don't want us fighting but I know I am in for
more than this.
______
We reach Durban and we are going to his house
. Yes that is good, I thought we are going to
Msinga but here we are. He parks the car when
we make it to a stop and we both hop out. We
go inside the house and I went to our bedroom
and he walked in after me and closes the door
and takes the key out. I swallow and move back
and he walks to the dresser and takes off his
watch and places the key on it and looks at me.
“I need a shower ” He nods and I walk to the
bathroom and I get inside , I open the shower
and I strip slowly. Why did he lock the door? I
get inside and the water splashes so perfectly
on my skin.
I feel hands on my waist and i jump a bit. His
hands snake around my waist and grips a bit
hard.
“Ntoza..”
I gasp as his grip gets a bit stronger and he
loosens it. My heart beat is going fast, I don't
know what he will do next.
“I would never lay my hand on you. That you
know ” He whispers in my ear.
“Mmmh ?” I nod to that.
“Do you know how worried we were when we
couldn't get through to even one of you ?”
“We are sorry” I say
“You are only sorry because you are here ”
“Really , I am.”
“Do you know how much you risked your lives
?” His hands roam around my body and he
keeps on pinching me and holding me tightly. I
kept quiet.
“No ? ” he says
“No ” I say.
“What if we have kids and you did this ? ” He
says
“I am sorry” I am shaking. He hasn't done
anything but I am scared of what he will do. He
won't lay his hand , that he clearified but I am
just expecting anything from him at this
moment.

CHAPTER 17

He stands up and takes his car keys. I turn

from the sink and I look at him.
“I know you are not talking to me but I have
work to go to ”, I say
He looks at me and I look away. He walks to the
door and walks out, gosh what have I gotten
myself in. That's one thing about Ntozakhona.
He can't let things go so easily and I talk too
much with him. It's hard living here and him
not talking to me, who does he want me to talk
to ? The walls ? I can't believe I haven't been at
work for some time. I have to kiss my job good
bye already , Nelisiwe is really working
overtime here.
My phone rings after I am done with the dishes
and I take it. It's Slindo , I answer the phone
call .
“Mam'Ndlovu ", I say
“How are you ? I was worried. Are you ok? ”,
she asks.
“I am well , he is not talking to me ”, I say
“Yoh, eish askies ”, my mind comes up with an
idea.
“Yeah but he will talk to me ”, I say
“How ?”, she asks
“I won't cook for him, I won't do anything for
him. Punishment solves punishment”, I say.
She laughs her lungs out.
“Sane has an influence in this I sense”, she says
“I am learning ", I say
“And deny him any as well. Better yet sleep in
the guest room uzozwa ( he will feel it )”, That's
great.
“Yes ! ”, I say
“I am thinking of sleeping in a guest room as
well. Nazo will drain me ”, she says
“I will tell you how it went ", I say
“I am glad you are ok, we will talk later ”, she
says.
“Sure. Bye ”, we hang up.
I smile and pack the dishes away. I clean the
kitchen and leave nothing outside. I went to
take a warm bath and sink myself in. I hum
some songs and let my body feel the water
splashes on my body. I get out after some time
and wrap a towel around my waist. I go and get
dressed. I pack some clothes and move them to
the guest room.

CIYELA

“Your phone is ringing Sakhile ! ", I say

I look at the one Infront of me.
“What do you want to eat ?”, he bites his bottom
lip and shrugged.
“Can you take it for me ?”,Sakhile responds.
“Ok", I take the phone off the counter and it
stops ringing. It's written Zethule , I place it on
the counter and take his son off.
“Who was it ? ”, he walks in from the bedrooms.
“It says Zethule ”, he takes his phone and kisses
my cheek. I feel butterflies.
“I will call him later ”, I move from the counter
to the fridge.
“You bought the buns I asked for yesterday? ”, i
open it and take out the cheese.
“Yeah I did”, I turn to his son.
“You want a burger ?", He nods.
“Ok, Sakhile are you hungry ? ”, he shook his
head.
“I will be in the longue ”, he walks to the lounge.
I make the food for his son and I get done after
some time. I make juice as well and I go to the
lounge. After fetching us from Nongoma I was
brought here. Clearly when we are out of their
sight we go crazy. ”Nivele nihlanye nishunqe
intuthu ”, Sakhile said during his long lecture of
how important our safety is. I am new to this
and I don't know how everything is handled.
I get to the lounge and they are watching some
soccer.
“Here is your food ”, I say.
“Bonga boy ( say thank you )", Sakhile says to
his son. He thanks me and I smile.
I sit next to them and his son gets off Sakhile.
“Come closer , I don't bite " ,Sakhile says and I
laugh getting closer.
“I have missed school", I say
“I will do something to get you to catch up ", I
look at him
“Ngizozama angisho njalo( I will try , let me say
that )”, he says and I shake my head.
“How about you transfer to this campus here ?”,
I was silent.
“That sounds good ", I reply.
“ Then we would be close to each other”, That's
would make things easy.
“What if we break up when I have moved this
side?” I ask him. He looks at me.
“Do you think we will break up ?”, he asks.
“I don't know ”, I say.
“We will try our best. If everything fails it's ok. I
will still pay for your fees", I smile and give him
a perk.
“You are sweet ”, I say
“Well I try", I laugh.

CHOLO

Chicken wings are so nice when they are not

made from your hands. Junk food can be
addictive. I think I will be addicted to it so
much. A knock comes on my door, I pull the
covers off me and I wore my gown and
switched on the lights. I opened the door.
“Yes ?”, I ask.
He looks at me and breathed out.
“Why are you sleeping here?”,oh how he can
talk.
“I thought you needed space”, I say
“I don't need space”, he says
“But you weren't talking to me ”, he picks me up
and walks in.
“Lets sleep ", he says placing me on the bed and
I take off the gown. He switches off the lights
He gets in bed and pulls me close to him.
“Unokusa yazi ( You are trying to be smart)”, I
say
“With? ”
“You don't talk to me but you want to sleep next
to me ”, I say
“I can see the not cooking for me but not
sleeping next to me is taking it too far. I don't
want space when we sleep. We sleep next to
each other every night. ”, he says
“And you talk to me everyday ”, I look at him
and he does as well
“If I talk you don't listen so what's the point ?”
“Can we get past that , I am sorry. I apologized
Ntozakhona ”, I sat on up. He pulls me down .
“Lets sleep, we will talk in the morning ", he
says.
“Ungabe usingi cijisela umlomo ekuseni ( Don't
turn on your word in the morning )”
“We will talk ”, he says.
“Thank you ” I lay on top of him and he holds
me.
“You are bother some ”, he says
“You love me ”, I say
He kisses my forehead.
“I love you ”,
_____
I woke up in the morning and Ntozakhona was
not next to me already. He is dodging the bullet
I can see. I got off the bed and made my way
downstairs. He was making breakfast.
“Don't burn the kitchen down ”, he turns
around and places the utensils down
He opens his arms and I go right into them.
“Good morning ", I smile.
“Good morning”, he gives me a perk.
“You have forgiven me ? ”, I ask.
“Yes ”, I am glad
“What are you making ?”, I ask
“Anything”, Ntozakhona says.
“Smells great ”, his phone rings and he dashes
to take it.
“Can you look over the food?”, I nod as he walks
away.
I take a bite off the sausages and turn the eggs
on the pan. I can't wait to eat , I am hungry as it
is.
I hear breaking sounds and I turn. I move the
pan aside and went to where Ntozakhona went.
“Fuck ! ”, the noise continues. I got to his study.
I pushed the door open a bit.
“Are you ok?”, he is sobbing on the floor. I rush
to him.
The inner me says brace him and I do. It doesn't
make him better but I can feel my chest getting
more wet.
“It will be ok, everything will be ok”, I keep on
saying that without any idea of what's going on.
________
“How is he ?”, is the question I have been asked
for the last few days.
I don't know , I don't know how he is but I know
he is torn and blames himself for everything. I
just can't believe that things are spiraling out of
control in this manner. The aunt's are putting a
show of tears at the lounge while the woman in
the community are here ukuzoba khalisa ( send
their condolences).
“He is mute, he only showed emotion the day
we recieved the news”, I say to them.
“Atleast , he just needs some time ”, Ciyela says.
I just nod and sigh. Ntozakhona's father was
gunned down the night before. He was found
inside his car shot on his drive way. Its a mess.
“Where is Qiniso ?”, I ask.
“I haven't seen him ”, I wipe my hands with the
dishcloth.
We are preparing the food for tonight.
“I will check on Ntozakhona”
They nod and I walk out of the main house. It's
very somber and no one is in the mood for
anyone at the moment. I get to his room and I
knock lightly , I get inside and he is looking at
the ceiling. I don't say anything but look at him.
I get closer and take off my shoes and get in bed
next to him. He wraps his arms around me.
“Its ok to cry”, I say and he swallows.
I know how much this inflicts pain on him and
Qiniso. It opens old wounds regarding their
mother.
“It never removes the pain”, he says.
“I know but helps.”, I say.
He looks at me.
“I am here ”, he nods.
_______
I gave Qiniso and Ntozakhona sleeping pills
after getting them to eat, they have to eat. We
don't want to loose them to hunger as well. It's
difficult to comfort someone, I know how it
feels to loose a parent but people deal with pain
differently. It may not be the same all the time, I
haven't received any call from my sister. I
assume she has nothing to brag about as yet I
guess. I went onto busying myself with my
phone. I look at Ntozakhona and I end up
taking my body into bed as well. I slept next to
him.

CHAPTER 18

I pull my clutch close to myself and looked at

him as he based on the fresh soil that has rain
pouring on it. The rain drop slides slowly down
the grinite as the other races to go down faster
than the other. He hands the umbrella to me
and I hold it tightly. He unbuttons his suit and
he walks off letting the rain pour on him. He
stands next to his brother who is crouching
Infront of the tombstone. It's new and fresh
just like their wounds. It must have been their
parents dying wish to be burried next to each
other. I would want that as well. To be burried
next to Ntozakhona or next to my children as
well, will I have children ? I hope we do. I
would love to be a mother.
They both stand up after some time. The rain is
coming on strong, they look at each other and
give off a brotherly hug before Ntozakhona
comes towards me. He places his hand on my
waist taking the umbrella and we move from
the Ndlovu graveyard.
_____
I open the kettle and I make cups of tea, for
myself and some coffee. The kettle turns off
and I turn around. Afika's sister is looking at me
, she comes closer and she makes some coffee.
“Cholo right?”, she says and I nod.
She lets out her hand.
“How do you all do it ? ”, she puts in some
sugar.
“Do what perhaps ? ”, I ask.
“Get them to love you this much ”,she says
looking at me.
“I don't know ”, I really don't know what she
wants from me.
“I am not really a Ndlovu. My mother cheated
on dad and had me. He didn't know well until
he found out later stage I wasn't his but he was
too attached to me to let me go ”, oh.
“Oh I see ”, I say
“,neither is Afika my biological brother. He has
his own mother ”, she says. I nod.
She gets done.
“My aunt's will chew you all, they are evil. Be
careful. Ask Slindo who poisoned her , the
ladies here. Don't trust any of them. I know so ,
I have been there too”, she pours the hot water
in her cup and walks off.
I swallowed, I poured the water as well. I put
everything on a tray and I went out with it and
made my way to the room where they are
seated. I got in and everyone is silent, I place
the tray down.
“Here is some coffee and tea ”, I say
“Thank you Cholo ”, Sane says and I nod.
“So now Qiniso and Ntozakhona are being
pampered by Cholo?”, Sikelela asks. Sane hits
his shoulder.
“Yes , they are my babies”, I say.
“No , I don't share you”, Ntozakhona pulls me to
him.
“Thank you for taking care of us ”,Qiniso says.
Ntozakhona nods and I do the same. We all sit
together.
_____
SANELISIWE

We walk in our room and I take off the dress I

wore at the funeral. I feel tired already, I throw
it on the single sitter couch and I get on in bed
and crawl inside. Sikelela stands there and he
looks at me. I close my eyes to sleep but his
gaze on me is heavy. I open my eyes and I look
at him.
“Something wrong ?”, I ask
“I should be asking ”, he says.
“About ?”, I ask
“Sane , this is not on. The drinking has become
a problem now cause you drink everyday 24/7”
, he says
I sit up. Here we go again.
“What must I do then ?” I ask.
“Cut it down or you will go to rehab ”, he says
“I did cut it down. What more do you want ? ”, I
ask.
He sits down.
“I don't want us fighting over this , tell me what
the problem is ”, he asks.
“Can I sleep ?” I lay back and he pulls the
pillows.
“You won't sleep until you come with a solution
to this issue ”,
“Sikelela please ”, he stands up.
“I don't want to do this but you have to choose ,
it's getting out of hand ”, he says
My heart is thudding.
“What? ”,I ask.
“What is more important ? Alcohol or us ?”, I
couldn't answer.
“You know what's important ”, I say
“Think about it Sane , it's affecting us. I think
we should just call it quits ” , he walks out. I
lay back on the bed and let tears flow.
********
“Mama !”, he shouted but his big strong hand
covered his little face.
My legs were stuck in the same position. My
mother had went out and said she will be back
after a short while. I knew that she wasn't
working and wondered where she was going.
“You are the solution to us having a better life ”,
I saw his snow white face looking at me , he
was trying to reach out but I couldn't reach out.
I wanted to reach out.
He picked up the axe from the floor and blood
scattered the floor , his head rolled under the
bed to where I am. I put my hands over my
mouth and cried. I wanted to scream.
“Sanelisiwe , Lwandisiwe !", It was my mother ,
I couldn't stop looking at his eyes . I wanted to
be out of there soon.
“Jomo ! ”, the door opened.
“Eyi shut up. You gave birth to this and we
have to live poorly ”, My father shouted ! He
never loved him, he never loved my twin
brother but to do this. It was beyond.
“Wha..where is Sanelisiwe ?”, my mother asks.
I could hear them speaking.
“I don't know. Let's take him to inyanga ”.
*************
My mother was just as guilty. She didn't bring
justice for my brother , I watched them take
him and make him a sacrifice because of his
skin colour. He was everything to me and I was
to his. It's like he wasn't their son, what they
did to him was inhuman. It was animalistic.
I couldn't breathe properly. I went to take my
phone and I sent a message to Slindo stating it's
an emergency. I went down on my knees as
tears left my eyes and I let out a sob. I couldn't
hold it in any longer. It was sharp and painful.
It feels quiet fresh , it's one wound that will
never heal instead it gets worse and worse. I
close my eyes holding onto my feet.
.
.
She rushes in and comes to hold me. I hold
onto her as she comforts me .
“Its ok. I am here”, I sob.
“He wants a divorce , he ... He broke me Slindo.
I will never recover ", I say
“Oh my God Sane I am sorry", she says.
“I ... It hurts ”, I say.
“Everything will be ok”, she brushes my back.
“Let me get you some tea to calm down ”, she
kisses my forehead
“Please stay ”,I feel like I am going crazy right
now.
______
She went out and brought sugared water for me
and made me drink it. I laid on the bed and she
brushes my back slowly.
“Eveeything will be ok”,she says.
I look at the door and it opens.
“Oh , I didn't know you were here Slindo”,He
says.
“I came to check on Sane. Nazo must be missing
me ”, he chuckles lightly.
“I will see you Sane”, Slindo stands up and
walks out.
The door shuts and there is silence. He sits next
to me, I blink the tears away.
“You have another woman ? ", I ask.
“No ”, he says
“You want to leave me”, I say
“I can't have a wife who finds a friend in a
bottle Sane. Sikhulule manje indaba
yokukwinkwitha utswala engathi
ukwiCompetition iphelile ( We are grown now
Sane , this issue of drinking like a fish is over)”,
he says.
“I can't cope Sikelela. You don't understand”, I
say
“Understand me , us ”, he says.
His fingers wipe my tears
“I love you Sanelisiwe. You know that , we have
been together for almost 20 years and I love you
everyday but there are things that can't be
tolerated in love. ”, he says. I just nod.
“Lets go a week without drinking. How about
we start with that ”, he says.
A week ? I look at him.
“That's harsh ” , I say
“Its that or nothing ”, he says.
I keep quiet.
“Mmmh ? ”, tears streamed down my cheeks
and I nod.
He kisses my forehead and cheek.
“Alcohol is not everything ”
************
They place his body in a plastic bag, the head
only forgotten about. They walk out and I got
out from under the bed. I look at the left over
blood. My mother tried to clean as fast as she
could but couldn't . I went down on my knees
and I cried while resting my head where he
took his last breath. My best friend, my
protector , cheerleader , supporter , everything.
The person I can rely on forever was gone
*************

SLINDOKUHLE.

A lot is going on in this family, I know that

oBaba won't let this go one bit. They don't let
anything go as easily unless the person died
from a sickness. I miss my kids and I want them
back now. Holidays should be over for them
very soon so they can come back home. Nazo
doesn't mind, he says “I get all the attention if
they are away”. I get in our room, I don't want
to cross paths with the aunt's at the moment. It
takes everything in my husband and his father
to be here everytime.
I get in the room and he is on his laptop. I close
the door and I take off my shoes and get in bed ,
he moves the laptop and puts it aside then holds
me. He lays a perk on my forehead.
“We are leaving in an hour ”, Nazo says
“Ok”, we have overstayed.
“I have been meaning to tell you something”, I
say.
He trials his fingers on my ear and plays
around it.
“What ? ”, he asks
“We are having a baby”, I say
“And you have been drinking ”, he says
“It was light and now I know. I won't anymore
”, I say
There is silence.
“Nazo , I was thinking we should also go to
some couple's counsiling. We don't have any
problems but it's nice to get ourselves
counsiling as a couple ”, I sit up and sit on his
lap.
“I love the idea”, I kiss his lips.
“You know what I love ?”, he says
“What do you love ?”,
“You and the kids , but you the most", he says
He kisses my neck. I look at him and I smile , I
love this man so much.

CHAPTER 19

Qiniso and Ntozakhona left earlier than I did

with their uncles. All Ntozakhona said when he
was leaving is :
“I want to sort this out once and have peace”
And that was it. He left just like that. It's my last
day here and we are leaving , Afika is the one
who is taking me to Durban. His sister is very
nice , I had concluded that some don't want to
interact with us and that is that. The aunt's , I
thank them shame. I don't want to deal with
them anytime soon but this round they were
better. Nazo and Slindo left the same day after
the funeral and I haven't seen Sane since then
as well but I have seen her husband and I
guessed they didn't leave. I will call her when I
am home to check on her.
“You are ready ?”,Afika asks and I nod.
We get inside the car and buckle up. I look out
of the window as the car moves , memories
always lingers of this place. They don't stop.
***********
“You are staying a bit longer today”, he said.
I nod shyly, yesterday I told myself I want to
know this interesting man infront of me. That is
why I came early to fetch some water.
“I won't stay long ”, I say
“I won't keep you long”, I nod.
His gaze doesn't move from me as I look
anywhere but his eyes.
“I don't need to go to the reed dance to find a
wife”, he says.
I heard him the last time.
“What do you want from me ?”, I asked.
“I want nothing from you. I just want to give
you my love ”, he smiles.
I blush and take the bucket and place it on my
head.
“Bye ”
“I will see you next week friday”, I nod and
walked away from him.
***********
My phone rings disturbing me from my
thoughts , I take it out while the remote gate
opens. Afika drives in at that moment. I see his
car, he is here oh good. I hope he is ok.
“Hello”,I say
“Cholo !”, oh Lord please be with me.
“Sisi how are you ?”, I ask
“I am good my husband just bought a new
watch for me ”, I get out of the car and take my
bag.
“Oh that is amazing. He is great for you ”, can
this call end ?
“Yes, he is doing a party for me tomorrow.
Angithi it's my birthday. I would've said you can
come but you are in Nongoma ”, she says.
“Oh no , I can come ”, I say
“Oh , ungafiki ukhangezile njalo ( Don't come
without a gift)”she says
“Ok”
“I am playing. I know you don't have money so
you can come and eat some nice food for a
change. I won't give you money to go back
though. I don't have ”she says
“Ok, I will come bye ”
“Bye”
I hung up and groaned. I hate this bragging
brat , she always has something to say
“Bafo !" Afika says and Ntozakhona appears.
I rush to his arms and give him a hug. He is ok,
that is important.
“Is Qiniso ok?"He nods.
“He is a big boy” , I nod.
“Thank you for bringing her back”, Ntozakhona
says
“Its no problem. Let me leave you ”, we say our
good byes to Afika and he leaves.
“Everything ok?”, he nods.
“We are ok”, he kisses my forehead.
“Now we can plan your wedding ”, he says.
“I want a traditional one only then we can just
sign”, I say.
“Anything you want, as long as I am your
husband”, I laugh
“You will be ”
“We are going out”, I say
He nods at that.
_______
It's my sister's birthday, she has never bothered
wishing me happy birthday and I stopped 2
years ago on sending her birthday messages
when I wasn't receiving any. A little gift was got
for her. It's a bag and it comes with a perfume
as well. I hope she likes it , really I do. I am
silent while looking out of the window as the
car enter her neighbourhood. She said I must
call when I have gotten off the taxi so she could
send someone to fetch me. It has been almost
10 years since I had last saw my sister. We only
communicated through a phone.
He parks the car Infront of her house. I look at
him and he looks at me.
“Sane is coming with. ”, he is not staying. He
will only transport me.
“Ok, thank you ” , he gave me a kiss.
“I love you ”, he says
“I love you Gatsheni”, he smiles.
He hops out and comes to open the door for me.
I hop out and I see Sane approaching.
“Hey ! ”, we hug each other.
“Please behave ”, Ntozakhona says.
“Lets go in ”, we walk off and get in.
I knock on the door and there are ladies sitting
on the couch having some beer.
“Brace yourself”, I say to Sane.
“Sanibonani( hello)”, we greet.
“Yebo ( yes)”
“We are looking for Thandiwe”
“Thandiwe ! ”, one shouts and my sister appears
“Yini ? ( What ? )”, there she is. That's definitely
her.
“They are looking for you”, she points at us.
“Cholo, you made it. I thought you wouldn't
come , phela Nongoma is very far”, she says
smiling.
“It is far but I was in Durban ”, she frowned.
“At who 's phela you don't know anyone here ”,
she says.
“Ntozakhona's”, I say
“Can we have juice , kade simile lah ( we have
been standing for so long ) even a chair would
be delighting”, Sane says.
“Does Dad know that ? He wouldn't be happy.
You are supposed to be in Nongoma ”, i pull her
away from people.
“What do you want from Ntozakhona ? How did
you find him ? ", She asks.
“Afika helped me ”, I say.
“Afika ? How is he?" Her face softens. Why ?
“Uhm he is well. I am getting married again
Thandiwe. Ntozakhona has already paid
Lobolo and Dabula's family agreed for me to get
married ”, she swallows.
“I am happy for you ”, she says.
“Afika is ok. ”, she nods.
“Thank you for coming and the present ", I nod.
“Pleasure ”,
“I am sorry for my attitude”, finally she realizes.
!
“Come ”, I give her a hug.
“You can take juice for your friend”, she says.
“Thats Sikelela's wife ”, she smiles.
“She is beautiful”, this is what i love seeing.
“Who else is married ?”, she seems interested.
“Nazo, Sikelela ,Sakhile is In a relationship. He
got divorced years back and I don't know the
rest", she nods.
“I need to lie down a bit", she walks off.
“Thandiwe ”, she disappears.
_______
She came out after a while and she looks a bit
better. The get to get her was quiet nice.
Everyone seems to be depressed these days ,
Sane tells me how Sikelela gave her an
ultimatum and I advices to her tell her
husband. That's what couples do, you open up.
She said she will try by tonight but she doesn't
want to relive her last. I don't know what it is
but it's too much on her. She didn't tell me what
it was the last time but briefly told me how she
felt about her past. It just be something dark.
Our partners came and I said my good byes to
Thandiwe , I hope from here on wards we will
have a very good relationship.
“How are you?” , I ask.
“I missed you”, I get inside and he closes the
door.
My phone rings as he gets inside the car.
“Hello”, I say.
“Ungangi casuli Cholo( Don't anger me Cholo).
You are not going to marry into that family ! ”, a
voice I haven't heard in years.
“Baba", I swallow.
“You listen to me. Go back to Nongoma or you
will have serious problems with me”
“I won't do that”, I say bravely
Ntozakhona looks at me.
“Are you back chatting me ?”
“No , I am just saying. If you can't support what
I do then don't call me or talk to me. ", I hang
up and breath out.
“Damnit Thandiwe ! ” I bang my hand on the
dash board and hop out of the car.
“Cholo !”, Ntozakhona says
He comes out rushing and picks me up.
“Lets go home.” he says
“No , I want to hit her ”,why is everyone
standing in my way of being happy?
“She is not worth it. Come ”, he throws me in
the car and gets in. I huff.
CHAPTER 20

SANELIWSIWE

I throw my bag on the couch and I throw my

body on the couch, he locks the doors and goes
to close all the open windows. I rest my feet on
the couch and he comes to take off my shoes. I
smile faintly as he sits across me on the glass
table infront of me.
“We need to talk”, I say
“Oh ok ”, he says slowly.
Cholo's words keep on echoing in my head. I
have never told anyone this and have never
opened up to my past. I never saw it fit to do so,
I always wanted to forget than going back and
retelling my past. I wanted to close every
chapter that involved my past. I don't know
where I would be if I didn't meet Sikelela. Even
though I am heavy on the bottle but he kind of
cleaned me up and saw something that I didn't
see. I never thought it was there .
“I have realized that I do have a drinking
problem and its not something small ”, he nods
giving me the go ahead to carry on.
“It comes from a deeper place , a pit that I can't
get out of. I don't know how to get out of it ”, I
say. I look down and fiddle with my fingers.
“Talk to me ”, he says.
“I witnessed something brutal, He was like me. I
was like him , we were inseparable. Where he
was I was there as well. There were differences
in us , he was a boy and i was a girl our skin
colours were different as well..” , tears
streamed down my cheeks.
“But that didn't define anything? He was still
my brother. ( Swallow)My twin brother. I used
to call him Snowy because of how white he
was.He reached out for me but I couldn't reach
out to him. I can still remember everything like
it was yesterday, I should've known His
behavior towards him would lead to that. I
could've saved him. I fail.... I... I failed as a
sister. When he looked at me , his eyes. His
hazel eyes were full of emotions , scared and
begging , shouting for me to save him still play
in my head everyday for the past 2 years. Did
they get rich from doing that deed ? No. Instead
my mother hanged herself after 3 years of his
death . She felt guilty for covering her
husband's sins of killing their son ”
I look into space , my mind trails off.
************
I was walking with my class mate as we were
talking. They were pushing him around and I
rushed to the dropping my bag and kicked one
in the stomach.
“Leave him alone !”, my brother drops to the
floor. His uniform dirty and his face red and
drenched with tears.
“uZokwenzani small ? ( What are you going to
do small ?)”, I picked rocks up and threw them
their way.
They rushed off.
“Sane ! ”, I rushed to him
“Snowy ”, he sat on his butt and cried. I hugged
him.
“I am sorry”, I say.
“Ngifuna ukufana nawe. Why mina nginjena ?(
I want to be like you , why am I like this ? )”, he
sobbed.
“You are different, umuhle kanjani. Mina
ngikuthanda unje ( You are beautiful, I love you
like this )" I say
“I don't want to go to school. ", It's the 100th
time he has said this.
I pull him up and take my bag. Everyone knew
not to mess with me. I bite and threw rocks like
no other when it came to my brother. My
defensive skills kicked in at a young age. We
protected each other all the time.
I took his bag and gave it to him I wiped his
tears and took his hand. We walked our way
home.
“Don't worry. I am here”, he laughs while
sniffing and pushes me away and I push him
away as well.
************
“That's him ?”, he asks and I nod.
“You look like a boy ”, I hit his shoulder and he
chuckles. I join in.
He kisses my forehead and I place the picture
away and close my eyes moving closer.
“I love you, I won't leave you ”, he says
“I love you too”, I feel a bit better .

CHOLO

I take out the baking pan and I throw it in the

sink and open the water. I start cleaning the
oven scrubbing with handy andy and a sponge
in my hand. He drags his feet in.
“Baby ”, I keep quiet.
“Cholo ”, he repeats.
“Good morning ”, I say while carrying on with
the cleaning.
“Its 7:34am ”, he says and I stand up and close
the sink tap and a weekend ”, he says.
“The weekend is the time to do cleaning ”, I take
off the gloves and apron.
He comes and holds my waist.
“Tell me what's wrong ?”, he says
“Nothing Ntozakhona. Can't I clean without
having something wrong ?”, I ask.
He goes to the pots and opens them and the
huge Tupperware and looks inside.
“I made some cake as well ”, I point at the fridge
and he opens it.
“Something is definitely wrong ”, he closes it.
“Ok”, I sit on the high chair and he jumps on the
counter.
“What's wrong ?”, he asks.
“Will we ever be happy ?”, I ask
“Yes ”, he says.
“When ? It has been 10 years we haven't been
together and now everyone is on a mission to
destroy us and your aunt's have a day coming
from me I tell you don't say I didn't warn ”, he
raises his hands. I sigh
“We will be happy Cholo, I am happy we are
together and we are getting married. There will
be challenges but we will be fine ”, he says.
“You think ?”, he nods.
“Ok”, I smile
“Now come here ”, I kiss his lips.
“I made breakfast”, I say
“And lunch”, he looks around the kitchen
“And supper”, he pulls the pot towards him and
I stop him.
“You will eat that later ”, I say.
“I need some sugar. It has been a while ”, he
gets off the counter.
“Sugar ?”, I frown. He picks me up and squeezes
my butt.
“Yes sugar”, he kisses my lips and I return it.
_______
I breath out , that was very intense. He kisses
my forehead and gets out of the bed. I pull the
sheets closer to me as I sit up.
“I have to go ”, he says.
“Meeting ?”, I ask.
“Dad's lawyer ”, he says.
“Oh , good luck”, I say.
“Yeah”, he sighs and lay on the bed again.
“Whats wrong ?”, I ask.
“I don't want to go anymore ”, I crawl to his
side and lay his head on my lap.
“You remember MaKheswa used to be like?”, I
say.
He chuckled lightly, that's a good sign.
“I had the craziest mother.”, she was crazy
“And the sweetest”, I say.
“I remember her saying 'Ntozakhona akuna
nkukhu eyake yaphuma lah egcekeni iyocela
intombazane , ngisho ngengane leh !(
Ntozakhona , not even a chicken is sent out to
go and ask for someones daughter for their
hand in marriage even a child atleast)” , he
chuckles. I swallow
***********
The smoke was choking me more than
anything, I couldn't see properly anymore, all I
could hear are his groans. My father next to
me.
“Phuza lah , kuzoshesha manje ( Drink here,it
will be fast)” ,the Sangoma said.
I regreted telling Thandiwe that moment. She
always reported to my father. By some miracle I
had hoped that Ntozakhona would bust in that
door and stop this but when I told him I am
getting married he left and never to be heard. I
was there waiting for him yesterday at our
usual spot but he didn't come out of Sadness
and having a broken heart I told my sister
everything which has put me here . The herbal
mixture is given to my father.
“Drink this Cholo, usuwenze amanyala vele (
you have done damage already)”, tears welded
in my eyes
“I am sorry but please baba ”, he pokes my
stomach.
“You are sorry. Uyaphoxa , drink this to get rid
of this rubbish before you leave for Nongoma ”,
he says.
I wished my mother was still alive at that
moment. I took the drink and drank it. It tastes
bitter, they made me lie on my back and I felt
the little tingles in my stomach.Then they
exceeded to cramps
“She will be ok right ?”, my father asks.
“Yes she will have many kids in future. It won't
harm her. ”, I closed my eyes feeling the
warmth between my thighs.
“You never speak of this ”, my father says and I
nod.
************
“Cholo ”, he embraces me and I wipe my tears.
“Are you ok?”,he asks.
“I am, I am just missing my mother as well" I
say.
“I am sorry”, he kisses my forehead.
“I want to lie down ”, I close my eyes.

CHAPTER 21

In all my years of being on earth , meeting this

man had to be the most amazing thing I have
ever came across with. I feel lighter and
happier now than I have ever before. My job ,
well that was it about it but I learned something
in that short period of time as well, Ntozakhona
took me to go and do a drivers license and now
I have that. A year has passed and in that year
we faced alot of challenges , not just me alone
but everyone , we won , we cried , we fought ,
we comforted , we lost in that year.Alot
happened and we had alot of funerals that year.
Slindo was pregnant, I am highlighting the was .
Yes she was pregnant but she lost the
pregnancy. She had a complicated pregnancy.
The baby was growing fine until she have birth
to a still born. Seeing her in pain brought pain
to me as well , It was a baby girl. She kept on
saying “You should've seen her Cholo , I want
my baby girl. I want my child ”, I couldn't bring
back her child instead I joined her in crying. It
will only help. It took me back to what Baba and
the Sangoma did. I told her they can have
many babies. God knows what he is doing. Was
it God who took the baby ? No. Two days before
my wedding I had to be cleansed and so as
Ntozakhona. A prophet was there to help up go
with the procedure, secrets were spilled
everything and didn't leave any detail.
“Lelikhaya linobumnyama kakhulu ingakho
izinto eziningi azihamabi kahle. Ezihamba
kahle amadlozi enu alungile ( There is a dark
cloud lurking over this family , that's why
things don't go well, the ones that go well it's
because of your ancestors)” He said.
We were all in silence that day and he spilled
the beans, it wasn't the child's time to go but
things were done for Slindo's child to die. My
secrets were spilled as well, My womb was
blocked by my mother on the other side. I had
to go to her grave and apologise for getting
pregnant at a young age and also bring
Ntozakhona as well. Sane's relation to her
brother. There were things we had to do to
rectify everything. I almost didn't get married
but I did with God's grace. Sane had to perform
a ritual for her brother and do a tomb stone for
him and so he can release the rest of her
blessings. The prophet said:
“The reason why you have your husband it's
because of your brother” That was an
emotional day. His last words to us were “Our
ancestors will bless us at the same time after
everything is done ”, We wondered what he
meant. We did every necessary thing we had to
do and got married to Ntozakhona. He was
angry and hurt at first but forgave me. We got
married , things in the family were very sour
for everyone especially with who plotted
against Slindo and Nazo with their baby. My
father showed up on my wedding day and
almost ruined everything but the devil is a lie. I
did get married to Ntozakhona so now I am
Cholo Ndlovu , Ntozakhona's wife . That does
sound nice. Anyway back to what happened.
We moved back to Durban to carry on with our
lives and the following week was a week of
something else. There was a fire in Msinga
during night time and it took everyone who was
in the main house. One of them left the gas
stove on and it caught up.
What baffles me is how everyone reacted to the
news. Ntozakhona said. “I hope they had
funeral cover because I am not going to bury
them ”, everyone said the very same thing. Yes
the aunt's that stayed there died with some of
their kids. The ones who servived are the 2
daughters that skipped during the night to meet
their boyfriends. That saved them and now the
aunt's that are left are those who live overseas.
They did come to the funeral and they are very
sweet. I wondered what made those ones very
bitter . 9 people were burried and they all didn't
have funeral cover. Even Nazo, Afika , Sikelela
and Sakhile's father and some well off uncles
didn't want to contribute to buying atleast a
decent coffin. What will people say, even if we
don't cook food but atleast descent boxes. I
asked Ciyela because Slindo and Sane didn't
seem to have it that we convince our partners
but nothing. Their fathers weren't having it so
bangcwatswe njengamakati ( They were
burried like cats).
We have a new cousin now. Yes we do . He is
young though , very young. He's name is
Langelihle, Afika's younger brother, long lost
brother. DNA tests were done and he is indeed a
Ndlovu , he looks like Afika and acts like him. A
younger version of him. He is 19 years old. His
mother recently died so he was on a search to
look for his father ngoba phela obaba
balayikhaya amasoka nje ( The fathers of this
family are ladies men ) but he found his father.
It's been a tough year.
_______
“I am almost home , I am coming ”, I say .
“Ok, then. ”, he hung up and I checked my bag
for money and gave it to the car guard and then
closed the door.
I started the car and I drove off making my way
home from the mall. I got what I need.
Everything is in order so far and stress free in
life at the moment. I was listening to music and
hit the breaks when I almost crashed into this
baby. I got out and went to the front of the car.
I crouched and took it into my arms and got
inside the car. I placed it on the seat and I
drove off. It kept on shaking and I had nothing
to offer than to open the heater. I dialed
Ntozakhona's number but it didn't go through.
It must be hungry. I got home and parked the
car taking this little creature into my arms. I
got out and made my way inside.
“Baby look what I found !”, I walk in.
He is watching soccer with Afika and
Langelihle.
“Where did you find that dog ?”, he asks getting
off the couch.
“Its a baby dog . It looks cute ”, I say.
“It could have raibies ”, Lange says
“Can we keep it , look how puffy it looks. I am
going to bath it. Please whip something for it ”,
I say
“Nifile lah Kwa love lives here ( You guys have
too much baggage here at love lives here)”,
Afika says laughing.
“Bath this dog outside Cholo”, Ntozakhona says
“But...”,
He points outside.
“Langelihle get me the baby basin ”, I say
He gets off the couch.
“And where will our child bath when it shows
up?”, I shrugged.
“Please go make that food. Thank you ”, I walk
off.
Yes , I am expecting and I am 5 months. It's
quiet early but when you are excited you just
buy anything and everything. Ntozakhona the
most.
Langelihle brings the basin and shampoo and
places it down. I don't know what kind of dog it
is but its not a pit bull. That's good. It looks like
those dogs you out in your bag and carry
around.
“You are helping me right ?”, he folds his
sleeves.
“Sure ”, he goes and takes the hose pipe.
“What should I name him ?”, I ask.
“You need to first find out if this dog isn't
someone's lost dog , take it to the SPCA maybe
and get a shot for it. Take it to the Vet to see if it
doesn't have any diseases of any sort. ”, he
connects the hose pipe.
“Can't I keep it if it's not mine ”, he folds his
arms.
“Sis Cholo , what if you lost your dog ? Wouldn't
you want it back ? " He has a point.
“Ok, I hear you ”, he opens the hose pipe and I
place the puppy inside.
We bathed the puppy and he looked clean after.
We took a towel and wiped him and went
inside. We went to connect the hair dryer and
the hair dry it. After we were done Ntozakhona
was done with the food.
“Thank you ", I kiss his cheek.
“We are taking this dog back where you took it",
I opened my mouth as he shook his head.
_______
The dog was taken away from me, I have never
cried so much in my life. Lange was right it was
Someone's dog. I can pay them for the dog.
Now I want a dog and Ntozakhona is having
non of that. He says I will play with the baby if I
get bored or want something to baby. That is
unfair. I know what babies want , I was once a
baby as well.
“Cholo”, I stared at the sliding door. He came to
sit on the bed.
“I am sorry ”, I look at him.
“Why can't I have a dog ?”, I ask.
“We are having a baby. One will have more
attention than the other ”, I sulk.
“I can only get you .anything you want just not
a dog ", he says
“Can I have a cat ? ”,he frowns.
“No ”, I huffed
“An eagle ?”,
“How am I supposed to get an eagle ?. No
animal unless it gets slaughtered. ”,
“A dove , doves are cute ”, I say
“The only dove that will be in this house is a
dove product ”, I frown and fold my arms.
“This baby is making you go ...”, he kept quiet.
“No , finish your sentence”, I say
“How about I get you to start a farm. That way
animals stay there ”, he says.
“No , too much work. I love wine. ”, I say
“You want to start a wine yard ?”, he asks. I sit
up
“Let me call the ladies", I kiss his lips and take
my phone rushing out.
“So no farm ?" I ignore him. I call the ladies and
ask if we can meet up this weekend somewhere.
It's decided that we will meet at Sane's house
and Slindo will have to fly down. It's important
that everyone is there. I hang up after the call
and turn around going to the kitchen.
I start with making some food and Ntozakhona
walks in.
“You seem better , I hope you didn't have any
wine ”, I give him a look.
“No , juice is fine and I am behaving ”, he comes
and stands behind me.
“This is perfect" , he says.
“What is ? ”, I ask.
He kisses my neck.
“Everything.”
**************
We have known each other for some time. I
really loved his company and how we would sit
together and get lost on where we are. He was
selling me dreams at some point, that's what
Thandiwe would say. He is selling you dreams,
telling me that he will take me from Msinga and
go live with me in the city. He will marry me
and we will have our own family and he will
treat me like a queen and live happily ever
after. I loved our ' fairy tale ' he always spoke
into it and said it will happen. He knows it will
but it became a distant story when my father
told me I will marry the son of Induna the night
before. I was scared of telling Ntozakhona as
well. He was leaving tomorrow and I wanted to
tell him before he left.
“Are you ok?", He asked
“I have something to say”, he sits up properly.
“I am getting married ”, he stood up but I pulled
him down.
“It wasn't my choice. I have to , to get my father
out of the debt he is in or we will be in trouble.
I am sorry", I say.
“I love you Cholo, I am the one who is supposed
to marry you. I am your husband ”, he says
“I know. I love you too. I want to get married to
you too Ntozakhona I really do ”, I say softly.
There was some silence between us. I laid my
head on his chest and he huffed.
“What now ?” he asks.
“I ... I want you to take my virginity", I looked at
him.
“Cholo I...” I kissed him.
“Please”, he nods
“When are you getting married ? ”, he asks
thinking.
“3 weeks time I am leaving to Nongoma ”, he
looks at me.
“I am sorry"
****************
“Your house is beautiful Sane”, indeed it is.
Chiliza comes down the stairs after settling her
daughter down.
“Thank you , we are called here by Mrs Ndlovu
,Cholo”, I swallow the cake and drink some
juice.
“Uhm thank you for everyone being here and
your husband's and partners including mine
bringing you here”, they nod.
“I have a proposal ladies ”, I say
“Ok”, Slindo says.
“Wine , we have discovered how we are
alcoholics before ”, everyone nods.
“Why not produce our own wine ? ", I say
“I love the idea ! Say nothing further ”, Sane
says
“How are we going to do that ?”, Chiliza asks.
“Having a wine yard , we have to get a big piece
of land and buy it. Plant our own grapes that we
will have potential buyers who buy our grapes
and along the way we could also produce our
own wine. Baby steps though ", I say
“I see what you are speaking off ”,Ciyela says.
“We just need to do a business plan and present
it to our partners”, I say
“They will be investors to this idea ”, I nod.
“I guess we are going to own a business Ladies”,
everyone seems excited.
“Good then " ,I take my cake.
“Sane I am hungry, don't you have something
more tangible ”, I say
“I cooked. Let me dish up ”, she stood up with
Ciyela and they went to the kitchen.
“How is the baby treating you ?”, Slindo asks.
“Good so far.You ? How is therapy ?", I ask.
Last time I checked she was attending therapy
with Nazo as well. I don't understand it but it
seems to be working well for them.
“Its going well. We will try again soon ”, she
says
“My daughter is the first and last one. I am
tired ", Chiliza says and we laugh.
“Until you meet your prince charming ", Slindo
says.
“Chiliza , I don't think so. ”, she raises her
hands.

CHAPTER 22

“Have you talked to your father since ....”, I raise

my hand.
“No and I don't want to talk to him.”, I say
“I haven't talked to my mother in years as well”,
Slindo adds.
“Why ? ",I ask.
Sane passes the bowel full of green salad to me
and I push it aside. We are having lunch all
together.
“She never cared to see how I am doing so why
bother ", she says.
“We should call mom , I am sure she misses us
”,Ciyela tries to cover this sudden sad moment.
“We miss her too, I even wanted to go back to
Nongoma at some point ”,Sane says.
“And now that she has extended the place . You
can visit comfortably”, Chiliza says.
“Even before I was comfortable”, Slindo says.
“So we are going to Nongoma next week ladies ?
”, Sane has already planned this I see.
“I am in and the kids are with Sakhile at the
moment ”, Slindo says.
“In what ? ”, we turn our heads and see
Ntozakhona walking in followed by Langelihle.
“Lange how are you ?!”
“I am good Sisi”, he says.
“Sit down and have something to eat , Have
anything ”, Sane says bringing forth the food to
him as he settles down.
“You came early”, I say.
“The others are outside.”, Ntozakhona says.
“Cholo is leaving next week for 7 months "
“Cela nginga ngihlanyisi manifuna ukuhamba
indlela nizihambe nodwa ( Please don't drive
me crazy, if you have trips to go to then go
alone)”, Ntozakhona says and we laugh.
“Sit down. We are pulling your leg”, I sit him
down
“This food is nice sisi”, lange says.
“When are you visiting me? , I don't trust
Afika's guardian skills ”,Sane says.
“Anytime ”, he says.
I dish up for Ntozakhona and we all eat .
_______

SLINDOKUHLE

Stress, it's getting to us. Our emotional and

mental being being questioned , are we
surviving ? I don't know. I would say we are
when maybe we are not , just trying to convince
ourselves. After leaving Kzn yesterday and
passing to see my kids before we left. They all
go as a package,no one gets left behind and
Snalo enjoys playing with his little cousin. I
guess it's because they are almost the same age.
The sounds of the water attract me to the
bathroom like a magnet. I lean against the wall
and fold my arms while looking at the man
Infront of me , the glass door only masked in
some steam, he looks stressed and in some
much deeper thoughts than before. The water
switches off and he gets out. I give him the
towel and we look at each other before he
wraps hit around his waist after wiping himself.
“I have made some food”, I say.
“You are going in a night shift ?”, he asks.
“Tomorrow I am going in ”, I move away from
him, he follows as well.
He goes to the closet and comes back after a few
folding his top.
“I am worried about you”, he puts his top on.
Oh that's why he looked like he was in deep
thoughts.
“I am fine ”, I say.
“Slindo”, he comes close to me.
He shouldn't, I feel a lump forming in my throat
and he takes me into his arms , it's realeased
and tears stream down my cheeks. He kisses my
forehead and brushes my back slowly in
comfort.
“I am sorry, it's all my fault”, his voice is
breaking but he is trying to mask that.
I have never blamed him for our daughter's
departure.I always blamed myself more than
anything. She was inside me and I had one job
and it was to protect her till she arrives. I
swallow and wipe my tears .
“We will have more kids”, I say
“Its ok”, I keep on saying in his embrace.
_______
My ring tone irks me out of sleep, he has his
arm around me. We soothed our hearts to sleep.
I reach for the side and take my phone , the
ringing has stopped now. It's a missed call from
Sakhile , the time is 5 pm. I sit up and Nazo stirs
and turns the other way. I give Sakhile a call, I
hope there is nothing wrong. It goes to voice
mail. I try for the second time and still the same
response.
“Nazo” , he groans. I shake him a bit and get off
the bed.
Now I am stressed. I try him again and nothing.
I try Ciyela and she answers by luck. She might
know where her boyfriend is.
“Hey , I am sorry to disturb you and out you in
this position...”, she interrupts me.
“No it's fine.Linathi is having a head ache and
Sakhile panicked but I gave her panado and she
is asleep ”, she says.
“Oh , did she vomit any blood or ...?”, I ask. I am
panicking.
“No , just a headache.”, She says
“Ok, please inform me when she wakes up ”, I
say
“I will, you relax there. We have the kids
covered”, she says
“Uhm thank you. Sorry about this again”, I say
“Its ok”
We end the call and I breathe out. I turn and
Nazo is looking at me.
“Linathi has a headache”, I say
“Did they take her to the hospital?”, he asked.
“I am worried honestly but it's just a headache.
We will see I guess. Ciyela will update me ”, I
say
I get in bed and sit on him and we share a kiss.
“You look tired”, I say
“I am but I am fine. If she is not ok by tomorrow
we are going down”, he says
“Ok”, I kiss his forehead.
“Rest”

CIYELA

He comes from the bedrooms and runs his

fingers on his head and then his face. He looks
frustrated.
“If you need more hot dogs , they are on the
counter Samkelo", he nods and I walk up to
Sakhile moving from the lounge.
“Calm down , we all had headaches and still
do”, I say
“Owami had headaches as well and turned to
be brain cancer !”, he says
I swallow.
“If she is not ok, tomorrow we are taking her to
the doctor”
I place my hands on his shoulders and look at
him.
“Ok”, he says
He gives me a perk and I shy away.
“There are kids”, I say
“I am sorry then ”
I haven't turned against my work of Sex after
marriage. I won't back down from that.
“Let me get on the pots”,I say
“I know you should be in res right now but...”, I
stop him.
“I love being around you and your children are
lovely just like Slindo”, he nods.
“What would you like to have ?”, I ask
“Anything”, he says and i nod.
“Give me an hour or have a hot dog”, I say
“I will wait", I nod and move to the kitchen.

CHOLO

“I will wash the dishes Sisi ”, Langelihle stands

up.
“He is so respectful ”, I say after he walks away.
“An opposite of Afika " , Ntozakhona says and
pulls me to him.
We are sitting at the lounge and Langelihle is
visiting us for a few days I hope. I like the kid's
company.
“Afika is ok as well”, I say
“So he is going to be part of the family business
?",I ask
“No, not yet I think. We don't know a way
forward with him because he has finished
highschool. ”
“Ask him what he likes doing and he can study
into that”, I shrug .
“Thats actually great”, I nod.
I feel a kick on my stomach.
“Your child is being restless now ”, I say
He places his hand on my stomach, he then
removes it.
“I am sorry”, I say
“Its ok”, I sigh and sit up.
“I feel tired”, I get up.
“Lange, good night !”, I say
“Good night ”, I walk up the stairs.

CHAPTER 23

SLINDOKUHLE

I look at the piece of cloth in my hands and I

run my fingers on it and I sighed. I fold it and I
put it inside a box and I looked around the
room. I went to the shelf in the room and took
the framed pictures and I look at them. I smile
and I place the picture on the shelf and looked
at the other one.
“I am off in an hour”, he says.
I turn around and place the picture down. He
looks around the room.
“You will change the room back to a guest room
?”, he asks.
“No , it will stay as it is. I just folded the clothes
and put the diapers away”, I say. He nods.
“Atually I was thinking of giving away the baby
clothes if it's ok”, I say
“Its ok, we will buy new ones once we ...”, he
clears his throat.
I went to him and I wrap my arms around him.
“Everything will be ok”, he looks down on me.
“You say ?”, I nod.
“I love you Slindo, so much”, he says.
“I love you too
I remove myself.
“Lets go out for breakfast. My treat”, I say
“You know I wouldn't allow that ", he says
“I am your wife Nazo, let me spoil you ”, I take
his hand and we move out of the nursery.
He squeezes my butt and I stop and turn to him.
“Nazo”, I say
“How about we skip breakfast?”, he picks me up
and walks down the passage
“And do what?”, I ask
He smirks and licks his lips before perking
mine.
“And play between the sheets”, He kisses my
neck and I giggle.
“Are you up for that ?”, I say
“Most definitely”
He pins me on the wall when we are about to
reach out bedroom.
“Where is Zama ?”, Zama is our house assistant.
“I gave her a week off”, He says removing my
top and cupping my breasts.
“Oh”, I run my fingers on the back of his neck to
his head.
He kisses my collar bone and goes to my neck,
he slightly bites it softly and moves to my lips
and we share a kiss. His hands go to my
leggings and he moves them to the middle of
my thighs and so as my underwear. His finger
finds it way to my nookie and he slowly
circulated. He pulled his down as well and took
out his shaft and rubbed the tip on my Virgina.
I was feeling fuzzy and wet at the same time. It
doesn't take my husband to do much to get me
aroased. His touch does wonders to my body
and reacts quiet quickly
“I will always love you , don't forget that”, he
says before penetrating me.
I wrap my arms around his body and go to run
my fingers around his neck and head before I
kiss him as he thrusted.

CHOLO

“Sis there is someone here to see you”, Lange

says.
I am sitting by the pool side while doing some
research regarding wine yard but Ntozakhona
suggested it's best to buy one instead of starting
from scratch. I have to run that idea past the
ladies before we present our business concept
to our partners.
“They can come this side”, he nods and walks
off. This child is so well mannered.
I placed the laptop next to me and Lange came
back followed by my sister. I stood up from the
pool chair and waited for her to reach me.
“Thank you Lange , there is money in my purse.
You can order anything you want”,I say
“Bhuti gave me his card , do you need
anything?", He asks
“Pizza and ribs. Extra cheese”, he nods and
walks off.
I am scared of him driving even though he can.
What if something happens , he is young. No I
am paranoid and Afika has said so regarding
his brother. He is small and needs to be taken
care off.
“Thandiwe ”, I pointed at the outside couches
and she walked there
I follow after her taking the laptop and I settle
Infront of her.
“Cholo”, she says.
“What can I do for you Thandiwe ? You want to
run and tell my father something so he can try
and ruin my marriage !?”, I say
“Calm down ”, I chuckle.
“Mom is turning in her grave for your
behaviour. Umdala to act like this , can't I be
happy? Have a peaceful life? What is your
problem with me ?! Mmmh ? ”, she swallowed
“I am sorry , I ... I was Jealous", she says.
“About what ?”, I am confused.
“You , look how everything is turning out for
you. You are married to one of the greatest
stable family. You can have anything. Look at
the house you live in and mine is not even
quarter of it. I am sure it's a bedroom. You have
someone who loves you and still loves you after
years”, she says.
“You can't compare to me. This is not my work ,
yes Ntozakhona loves me and I love him. This is
all his Thandiwe and I am just sharing it but it's
his. I have no degree. I have no stable job and
about to be a mother. I am a house wife.
Anything can happen and this would be gone. I
love you, I always have but you are blinded by I
don't know what ...", She looks down.
“I am getting divorced", she says.
I am silent. I don't know what to say.
“I am sorry", I say
“Yeah, it wasn't working out ”, she says
“After the death of Akhona it has never been
the same. I constantly blame him. It's his fault
as his mistress stabbed our child ”, I cringe and
I stand up and hug her.
“Its ok, everything will be fine. Dust yourself
and ugeze , ubemuhle and someone will want
you. Better than him ”, I say
“You think ?", She says.
“Yes, stop plotting against me nawe kodwa. I
have no bad blood with you and I am tired of it
”, she nods.
“I will try , i am thinking of visiting dad this
weekend ”, she says.
“I won't go , he doesn't want me”,I say
“Cholo”, I shook my head.
“I will see you then ", we both stood up and my
phone rings.
“Uhm I will see you ”, she nods and walks out.
“Gatsheni ”
“Where are you and Langelihle ?", His
breathing is heavy
“At home ”, I say
“Ok, stay there. I love you ”
“Ntozakhona ”, he has hung up.
I went inside the house and Lange is watching
some tv. This child must have a social life. This
is depressing.
_________

50 missed calls, 10 voice notes , 5 messages and

4 days and still no husband of mine. At first I
was stressed and now I am pissed. He hasn't
called since that day and I have been trying him
every single day. No one from the Ndlovu
family has showed up to atleast inform me
where this husband of mine is ! Calm down
Cholo and think of the baby inside of you.
I walk down the stairs , he better not be
cheating where he is. No he is cheating ! With
who ? Anyone ? I feel a pang of hurt. No I am
hurt by that.
“This is the hundredth time , I am leaving you.
You won't find me here anymore and I am
taking my child and Langelihle with !”, I hang
up and get to the kitchen.
Lange is making some food , actually he is
cooking. God bless this child because I am
hungry.
“You haven't heard anything from your
brothers?”, he shakes his head.
“No sisi, I haven't”, he says.
“Let me try again ”,I make the call and it goes to
voicemail.
“Don't think of coming home anymore. Stay
where you are , I hope she is worth it nx ! ", I
place my phone on the counter.
“I am sure they are ok”, I don't care about that.
“What did your father say ?", He dishes up and
gives a plate to me.
Looks nice and I am ready to have this in my
mouth.
“He doesn't know where they are , even the
uncles ”, he says.
“I am sure they are covering your brother's
acts. ", I take my plate and walk up the stairs.
Where is he ? Now I am worried and it's
stressing me out when I am not supposed to be
stressed. I didn't call the ladies and asked
because I didn't want to bother them and add
my stress on them. I get in our room and I get
down to eating ,, I am trying to crack my skull
into where he could be. I finish eating then
went downstairs to wash the dishes. It was only
mine in the sink. I did and made some sugared
water and drank it before I went upstairs. I
need to rest. That's the only way I can think of
staying calm better.

The lack of sleep is what woke me up from this

nap. I sat up and look around the room , I took
my phone and I check it. Still nothing from my
husband. Is he trying to kill me softly with
stress because he is going to achieve. I went to
wash my face and since my mouth. I went
down stairs before I can reach the bottom stairs
I heard voices. I get down and I go to the
kitchen ,I open the cupboards and check for
what ? I don't know. I close it a bit roughly and
I huff opening the other containing snacks. I
grabbed the chips and closed it. I turned around
and he was standing there. I look at him and
move from where i am .
“I hope you found a wife in the process of your
trip”, I walk past him and walk up the stairs.
He is after me , I get in our bedroom and I go
and pull out my suitcase. He instead closes the
door and lock it. The audacity this man has to
do that !
“Ungangicasuli Ntozakhona ungalinge
ungicasule ngomoya owenkosi ungalinge
ungicasule ukudlula lokhu ( Don't piss me off
Ntozakhona don't even try and piss me off. In
the lord's name don't try pissing me of more
than this)”, I say .
I pull the suitcase and I went to take my clothes
and throw them inside.
“Can we talk?”, I chuckled.
“When did you finally remeber you have a wife
who is at home and she has been stressed ?
What I i lost the baby ? ”, I look at him. He
looks down
“I can explain, I .. am sorry”,he says
“I am going home because it's seems like some
of us are not ready for this marriage. Just
because I am in bad terms with my father
doesn't mean I don't have a second home. ”, I
take my shoes and throw them inside.
“Nelisiwe is pregnant ”,I stop packing. I turn to
him.
“Where does that involve you or me ?”, I ask
“Its mine ”, I felt a dagger being plunged in my
heart.
“I can't believe you ”, I felt tears pricking my
eyes.
I walk to the main door and he caught up to me.
I don't want to be here anymore.
“Baby please, I am sorry” , I felt like the lump in
my throat was suffocating me too much.
“Ooen this door ”, I say
“Ntozakhona open this door ”, he tries to touch
me but I slap his hands away.
I am breaking down without breaking down.
He finally opens the door and I rush out like I
am being chased. Tears running down my
cheeks. He was with her , he .. he .. I got to the
pack yard and sat behind a tree and I sobbed
and let the tears flow. My heart is shattered, I
have never imagined cheating on him. It's clear
that he cheated on me . It has been a year since
their break up and suddenly she is pregnant
with his child. He seemed so sure and it breaks
my heart . I move my hands between my thighs
and look at my fingers. They are red. I search
for my phone and I call Langelihle.
“Sisi ”, he says
“Please come to the backyard alone. Take the
car keys as well ”, I say
I am trying to stay calm but it's now a mess. I
might loose my child.
“Ok, I am coming ”, he hangs up and I close my
eyes.
“I don't know what I did lord, I don't know who
I wronged so badly. If I did the forgive me God.
I am sorry for every bad thing I have done , my
child is innocent and .. and ..”,tears kept on
flowing.
“Sisi , where are you ?”, it's lange.
“I am here ”, he comes and freezes a biy but
collets himself.
“Come ”, he helps me up and I hold onto my
stomach.
“Where is your brother?”, I ask
“Ntozakhona is upstairs and the rest in the
lounge ”, this family are hypocrites.
I have never been cheated on before and it feels
painful, even in my previous marriage Dabula
has never. It feels quiet bad because I love this
man and has committed myself to him. My
chest was closing in on me as we got in the car
and he drove off. He was driving as very fast as
he could while I am trying my best to calm
down. He got to the hospital and rushed inside.
They came back with a stretcher and helped me
on it before wheeling me inside. I felt a bit dizzy
and placed my hand on my stomach. It might
be the last time touching this bump. I finally
closed my eyes.
_______
I knew it the second I closed my eyes that i
won't feel my bump anymore. I have never felt
shattered in my life, I tried swallowing the
lump but it wasn't happening. The door opened
and Lange walks in.
“How are you sisi ? ”, he asks.
How am I ? I feel hopeless.
“I need mah ”, that's all I can say.
“Can I call her?”, I nod.
“She is MaNdawonde”, I say
“Everyone is at the waiting room. Uhm they
asked me to check if it's safe to come in ”, he
says
“I don't want to see anyone. ”, the Doctor walks
in.
“Good day”, I nod.
“Your Son is a strong one. He is recovering and
luckily he has been fully developed so he will
be ok”, Son ?
“My child ?”, he nods.
I hug the doctor crying.
“Thank you”, I feel at a bit of ease.
“You are welcome. He is still in an incubator ”,
he is ok.
I let go of him.
“I am sorry about that ”, I say
“Your blood pressure is high. You need to stop
stressing , I suggest that. I will see you later on
”, i nod.
The Doctor walks out and I look at Langelihle.
“i will call Mah ”, I nod.
“Thank you ”, I say
“I will check on you later”, he walks out.
I started praying and thanking God and then
my marriage just had to depress me.
.
.
“Oh ,we heard and i came as soon as I heard”,
she gives me a bear hug and i cry on her chest.
I have heard the Ndlovu's haven't left instead
they are here all day. I don't want to see any of
them but Slindo's hugs are comforting at the
moment.
“He cheated and got her pregnant. What did I
do ? ”, I say
“Don' t I mean don't ever think you did
something. It was his choice . Don't blame
yourself for that ”, she says looking at me.
“It hurts. I love him. Maybe I shouldn't have
came back into his life and lived peacefully
with Mah ”, I say
“I know , I know that feeling and it gets worse
but you are strong. Think of you and your son
now. You have someone to live for. Don't blame
yourself. Don't try to justify a man cheating. I
did that and it took me so long to realise i was a
fool and i don't want you to go through what i
went through. It's emotionally draining and you
loose yourself Cholo and what's important.
Right now it's you and your son. Whatever
decision you make because it's your marriage
just don't loose Cholo because of wanting to
make your marriage work. It's ok sometimes to
let go if you see it's not working out anymore.
It's ok to go back where you are loved and that
is home. It's ok to have a failed marriage. You
are not a mechanic for relationships so you
won't fix everything and it's ok. It's ok to feel
like everything's crashing and it's ok to regroup
, it's ok to try again if you want to. I love you
and I am here for you ”, she says and I wipe my
tears.
“Everything will be ok”, will it ? Will everything
be as ok ?
I went to see my son with Slindo and he looked
so pink and so tiny , like he will just disappear.
His little fists scared me as I looked at him
through the incubator.
“He looks adorable”, She says.
My husband will have a child with another
woman. I sat down on the floor and I broke
down. She crouched Infront of me , I felt like
everything is coming down crashing on me and
I don't know how to handle it.

CHAPTER 24

“Why ? ”, I close the suitcase and take off my

ring.
I look at him and place it on the dresser. He is
defeated , I am defeated and hurt at the same
time. I love him but love is just not enough at
times. It's clear I don't have a solid space in his
life and that's ok. There is one man who will
love me till death and that is my son. I didn't
sleep those nights at the hospital crying myself.
I don't know how many times I was sedated just
so I can calm down. It got better when
MaNdawonde came through and I felt like I
really had someone. Her love is what i needed
and still need.
“Cholo please”, he says
“Bye Ntozakhona ”, I say
I pull the suitcase as I walk to the door.
“I was at a business meeting at the hotel and I
bumped into her. I had never intended, we had
a few drinks and things happened. I am sorry
for making her a stamp in our lives, I promise
you it was the first and last time”, he says. I turn
to him.
“She is a stamp in your life now. Bye ”
“Cholo ”, I walk out
I swallow the lump in my throat . I hold onto
the wall before I make my way downstairs. It
has been 2 months now and my son is being
discharged today. He is out of the incubator and
he will be in my very arms soon. I get in the
lounge
“You are ok?”, MaNdawonde asks.
“Yes , we can leave ”, I look at the Ndlovu
family.
“I will bring Ngcebo to the ceremony”, I said
looking at Nazo's father.
“Ok”, they had no say in what I wanted to do.
I pulled my bags and walked out. The cab was
already waiting for mah and myself. We got
inside and she pulled me to lay her head on her
chest.
“You will be ok, you will study and be like
Ciyela as well as Chiliza. It doesn't end here ”,
Mah says.
I wish I didn't love him. Will I unlove him ? Is it
even possible.
SLINDOKUHLE

“My feet are hurting ”, I say as soon as I walk in.

He is having breakfast already. I place my lunch
bag on the table and Zama takes it away. I have
just came back from my night shift. The kids are
coming back next week. They are currently
visiting my grandmother.
“How are you ?", I say
“I miss cuddling you at night”, he says
“Next week I will cuddle with you”, I say
grabbing the plate.
“Or I can cancel everything and sleep next to
you ”, I smile
“If it isn't any hassle then I wouldn't mind ”, I
say.
“How is Cholo ? ", He asks.
“She is not ok, Your cousins are shit ", i take the
jam and spread it on the scone.
“Like father like sons” he says.
“I appreciate you ”, I stop what I am doing and
look at him.
He reaches out for my hand and he holds it
while running the back of my hand with his
thumb. He then kisses my hand. I take the
chicken nuggets and the smell isn't as
appeasing.
“Are these nuggets ok?”, I give him the bowel.
“What do you smell? ", He asks.
“They smell off ”, I say.
He smells them.
“No , they are fine”, he pops one in his mouth
and smirks.
“What are you smiling about ?”,
“Could it be that a little us is growing in there ",
I touch my stomach
“I don't know, we can do a test after Breakfast"
“Let's room for disappointments ”, he says.
I agree with him. It would be nice to expect
again.
“I think I want that cuddle now ”, I say and we
stand up.
We make our way upstairs.

CHOLO

“Kodwa ingane kagogo enhle kanje ,mele ngibe

nenkomo uzongilusela ( Granny's beautiful
child , I have to have cows so you can here
them)”, I chuckle as I pack the little baby bag.
“We are all set”, I say.
She is playing around with Ngcebo in her arms.
She looks happy
“Excuse me ”, the doctor walks in with forms in
his hand.
“Here are the discharge forms ”, the doctor says
I take them and sign them.
“Thank you ”, I say
“If anything happens to him, I am one text away
", he says
“Thank you , I will sure send a message if
something strange happens.”, he nods and
walks out.
“Mah we can go ”, I say
She stands up and I take the baby bags and we
make our way out. I am leaving everything
behind. It was never mine .
_______
I have decided to take up on studying like mah
had suggested that I should do. I will do
teaching and I will study through UNISA part
time. I can't help loving my son more than I
should , he grows very well everyday and his
father once called just to hear him make
sounds. Is it easy letting go of someone you
love ? No it's not. That's definitely not but what
choice do I have , I don't want to be hurt.
I was outside sitting on the grass mat while
having some peaches. Ngcebo is asleep and
Mah is inside as well, the house is added
another bedroom and so as the kitchen and
lounge. I love MaNdawonde and she is really an
amazing woman.my phone vibrated and i look
at it. It's a message from a number I don't know.
“Can I call ? ", Who is this ?
“Sure ”, it might be Ntozakhona asking about
his Son. I will be going to Msinga tomorrow so I
am enjoying myself for now.
It rang and I answered it.
“Hello”, I say
“Cholo , it's Msizi”, oh God no.
“How did you get my numbers ? What do you
want ?”, I say
“Calm down please. How are you ?”, he asks.
“I am alive. We are not friends so I don't know
why you are calling. Last time you made me
dodge bullets ”, I say
“I am sorry, It was my father but I realize I
shouldn't have let you go ”, devil please.
“Ok sure. Bye ”, I hang up and I block the
number.
I sand up and make my way inside the house.
“Mah what should I cook ?”, I ask.
“I will do the cooking rest Cholo”, she says.
“I want to do something ”, I say
“You can do something by packing for
tomorrow ", I huff.
“Ok”
I went to the bedroom and I started packing for
myself and Ngceebo as well. He will need more
clothes than me. He started weeping in his
sleep and I left everything and took him into my
arms and breast fed him. He sucked until he
stopped. He was back to sleep. I laid him on the
bed and check his nappy. It's still clean .
“Cholo do you want MaKheswa's chicken ?”, oh
no. Is it in the yard.
“What ? ", I say
“Its in my yard again. I am going to catch it ”,
“Dont take it if it's black", her chickens are nice
and big.
“Its the white one. I told her to lock them in her
place but now. It's our lucky day”, I hear
clucking. I thought she was joking.
“Come let's kill it ”, she says
“I am coming", I left my son.
______
“Cholo ! ”, I hold him close to me.
The main house is being re built I see. Sane
rushes up to me and she uncovers the blanket
and peaks.
“He is so cute. How are you?", She asks.
“I am ok, you?",
“I am well as well. ”
We walk off .
“Can I share a room with someone else ”, I ask.
“Most of them have the men In this yard. Afika
will share with Lange until they get his own
room and Qiniso seems to have brought his
woman.
“Oh God ”, I say.
“I am sorry. Don't get tempted neh but if you do
it's just sex you don't fall back ", There she goes.
“Sane”,
“I am just saying and you look pretty ", she says.
“Thank you ”, she kisses the top of my head and
walks away.
I haven't seen his car so I assume he hasn't
arrived. How will I sleep here ? Jesus please be
with me on this tough time.
I open the door and I get inside. There is a cot in
the room and a white dresser. I went to open it
and it had some baby stuff. I look around the
room before placing Ngcebo down. I sat on the
bed and took time to just sink everything in.
Our wedding photo is here and it just makes
things worse. I take the framed picture and turn
it down. The door opens and he walks In. We
look at each other for a while.
“Hi”, I say
“Hey”, feels like we are strangers.
“He is asleep”, I move towards the door.
“I will stay here a bit”, I nod and walk out.
I breathe out as soon as I am out.
***********
I stood by the stop and waited for him to arrive
,I was hoping that this week he will arrive . I
had asked Afika If he had arrives and he said
no. I sat on the rock waiting but nothing. I look
at the bead bracelet on my wrist and tears fell
down from my eyes wetting my cheeks. My
heart felt heavy.
He is angry, he is mad at me that I am getting
married. I love him, not my future husband. I
want him to be my husband and not him. I felt
the urge to vomit and I ran to the near bush and
I did. I don't understand the meaning of this. I
have been suspecting that I am pregnant. I
want to tell him and I am sure of it as well. Will
he be happy ? Maybe my father will let me be if
I am pregnant with the child of the man I love.
I heard sounds of a vehicle and I turn around. I
rushed to my spot and it wasn't him. I felt
disappointed. I turned around and made my
way hope with a heavy heart and face full of
tears.
************
“Siletha ingane yomZukulu wenu no Gatsheni,
umzukulu wokuqala wakho mfowethu
,uNtozakhona. Indodana yakhe uNgcebo (we
bring forth your great grandchild , your first
grand child my brother , Ntozakhona's son
Nongcebo) Guide him , protect him be with him
and may all his blessings appear , Ndlovu ,
Gatsheni , Boyabenyathi...” , the clan names
were chanted.
I looked at Ntozakhona before looking at Nazo's
father who is speaking to the ancestors as the
now remaining oldest son.
Alot was done for my son and done into him
and now it's time for him to rest. I went to
place him on the cot. Tomorrow it's the
festivities and the neighbours will be here to
enjoy the meat and also food. I called Mah and
checked how she is and she seems fine. It's
getting dark and I am full, I have already eaten
before. Ngcebo makes some weeping noises
and I take him in my arms. I try to calm him
down and change his nappy in the process as
well he doesn't settle it's going into unholy
hours. I applied some things on him so he
would settle before I sat on the bed with him
and started feeding him. The way he sucks
fascinates me so very much. I try holding his
hand and he wraps his hand on my finger. I
smile , I don't know how I would be if I lost him.
Probably worse than what Slindo went through.
“He seems to be enjoying”, I look up.
“It hurts though”, a bit. He nods. I focus on the
one in my arms and he has stopped sucking. He
is asleep.
He loves sleeping that I have discovered. I
stand up and he comes to take him.
“I will lay him down”, I nod.
He takes him from my arms and lays him down
onto the bed gently . I take off my top as it is
wet now , it does get wet from time to time
especially if my breasts are full.
“Please can you pass the pump for me ”, he does
and I sit down and start pumping the milk out.
I get done and I put the milk away and I wipe
myself from everything. I feel hands from
behind me as they wrap around me . His warm
breath hitting my neck.
“Nto..”, he kisses it and I am weakening.
“I am very sorry and I will always apologise for
everything for the rest of my life”, he says .
He then picks me up and lays me on the bed
and kisses me while running his fingers under
my skirt and moves my underwear to the side
and starts fingering me. I close my eyes as I feel
tingles. He kisses my neck and goes to my lips
and we share a kiss.
_______
As much as I still love him , I don't trust him
anymore and I don't want to hurt myself. What
did that mean ? Sane said it's just sex so I will
take it as that. He has his arm wrapped around
my naked body, he is asleep and it is late. I can't
sleep because sleep is not here. These two boys
are having the time of their life, sleeping like a
baby.
God knows the love I have for this man , it's too
hard for it to just fade. I take my phone and
check the time , it's midnight. His arm moves
and he is shifting. I switch my phone off and
lay down. He comes closer and I feel the
warmth.
“I love you Cholo, I truely love you. It was a
messed up mistake and I should've known
better than what I did. I am not trying to just
win you back but I need my family in my life.
It's my fault where we are right now. Take your
time but just know I love you so much and I am
very sorry. I will prove how sorry I am ”, he
says.
“I feel hoepless” I say
“I am sorry”, I turn to face him.
Can our hearts listen to our minds for once ? I
am going home after this , I have to.
CHAPTER 25

“The wine yard idea?”, Ciyela asks.

People are already here enjoying the food and
drinks from the ceremony. I am not supposed to
be drinking in my terms.i don't want to as I am
breastfeeding. We are having a plate of food
sitting together and enjoying the meals that we
are eating.
“Cholo was the leader of this idea”, Sane says.
“I forfeit the idea for a while.”, I say
“Take your time. We understand ”, Slindo says.
I look at my son who is inside the car seat
sleeping. I want to talk to Slindo about
something important but only when we are
alone.
I stand up when I am done with eating.
“I want to rest this one”, I say and pick up my
son.
“Slindo can you help me with the car seat”, she
stands up.
“Ok”.
I say my goodbyes and we walk to the room
that I am using. We get inside and she place the
car seat somewhere. Ntozakhona bought it , I
don't know when. I place Ngcebo down and pull
the little blanket over him so he can feel a bit
warm and be ok. I turn around.
“Can we talk ?”, I ask her.
“Sure", she says and we sit on the bed
“I love Ntozakhona you know , very much for a
very long time as well”, I say
She keeps quiet and lets me talk.
“I am feeling hopeless, I don't know what to do
right now ”, I say
“Its ok, you will figure it out", she says
“I have , I love him but I guess our love for each
other wasn't enough. ”, I say
“What do you mean ?", She asks
“I want a divorce, I shouldn't have seemed him
but I don't regret loving him or coming back.
He loves Ngcebo that I know. He may have
failed me as his partner but I know he won't fail
as a father”
She hugs me and I hold onto her. Tears stream
down my cheeks.
“I am sorry Cholo”, she says and I try muffling
my sobs inside.
I feel like a mess at the moment. I feel broken.
“I will help you with the procedure ”, Slindo
says
“Thank you”, I say.
“Rest ok , you don't look ok”, she says. I nod.
She kisses my forehead and stands up and
walks out. I pull the pillow and I sob on it. It
hurts that I love him so much, I still do and I
would never love another man like him but it's
clear where I am and here I stand.

SLINDOKUHLE
I know and understand exactly how Cholo is
feeling, I wish I was like her with Sakhile but I
don't regret having my kids , I don't regret
loving him. First boyfriend's are the worst at
times and Cholo and myself fell into the Ndlovu
trap. I hope Ciyela sees her worth when things
like this happen. It took some time for me to be
finally here and I healed all because of my
husband. I went on the search for him. We
haven't tested mainly because I am not ready
for a disappointing outcome. I am not ready for
that pregnancy test to tell me that I am not
pregnant.
I find him with the other men and I ask for him
after some greeting and mini conversations.
“Thembalam”, he wraps his arms around me.
“I was missing you nje ", he chuckles.
“I miss you too,Are you ok?”, I am not. I am
worried about Cholo.
“I am just worried about Cholo”, I say
“Dont stress , for me ”, I nod
“Ok, I won't ”, we hear breaking sounds and
some shouting.
We move from where we are.
“What is going on ?”, Sane asks as we reach her.
It's Ntozakhona's room, the noise is coming
from there.
“Ntozakhona open up here ”, Qiniso is knocking
on the door.
“He is in there ?", Nazo asks.
“And Cholo”, I say.
Oh my God , I hope he is not doing anything to
her and the baby.
“What is going on ?", Sakhile's father appears.
“We don't know. Ntozakhona and Cholo are in
there”, Qiniso says.
“Ntozakhona !”, he says.
“Get a spear key or something. Qiniso unlock
this door ”, Bab'Ndlovu says.
We hear other breaking sounds and a baby cry
broke out. My heart is beating too fast.
“Calm down Slindo", Nazo says and I am
starting to hyperventilate.
“What is going on ?", baba asks and Sane spills
everything.
“Ntozakhona cheated and impregnanted his ex
”, She says.
“When did this happen and why weren't we
informed ? ", baba asks. Can they just open the
damn door ?
“Its been a while ”, He gives off a stare at us.
“We are going to deal with all of you later. Are
you sure about the baby?", baba asks.
“We don't know. ”, Sikelela adds.
“Ntozakhona ”, there is silence. Only the baby is
heard and it's crying it's lungs out. My heart is
beating fast and tears are nearing
“No, Nazo", I say softly looking at him he holds
me
“Calm down. Please ”, please can it be not what
I think it is.

CHOLO

After Slindo left I got off the bed immediately

after I was done crying and I packed my bags
and Ngcebo's as well. The ceremony is done so
what am I staying for. It's best I go home right
now. I sniff and wipe my tears. I couldn't
stomach looking at our wedding picture
dangling on the wall. It was breaking my heart
while looking at it. The door opens and I turn
around. He walks in the room.
“You are packing ?”, he asks
“I am going home”, I say
“Can we talk?”, he says
“There is nothing left to talk about either than
Ngcebo. ”, I turn to him.
“Cholo..”
He steps closer and I put my hand up.
“I think it's best if we divorce”, I say
“No Cholo , we've just got married !!”, he says
“And you broke that marriage , I don't want this
Ntozakhona !”, I say and huff.
“The baby is sleeping”, I say
He comes close running his hands on his face.
“I messed up , I know and I will forever be
sorry about it Cholo but please.. please not this,
anything else”, his voice is becoming husky.
As much as it is breaking him but I don't know
if I will ever trust him.
“There is a baby Ntozakhona. We can't turn
away from that ”, he takes the vase and throws
it at the wall. I jump and the baby wakes and
cries. I rush to his side but Ntozakhona pulls me
and I scream scared while covering myself. He
hugs me and I cry.
“I would never hit you, I would never do that.
Cholo please , I am begging you”,we are both
crying.
“Ngiyaxolisa Sthandwa Sam , ngiyaxolisa
Ngenhliziyo Yami yonke ( I am sorry my love,I
am sorry with my whole heart ) I...” he lets go of
me and starts breaking things. I attend Ngcebo
and try to calm him down by anything but he is
screaming.
Knocks on the door have followed for
Ntozakhona to open. I guess he locked the door ,
that's a bad tendency he has. I don't see where
the key is.
“Ntozakhona stop , you will hurt yourself", I say
He does and he goes down and joins Ngcebo as
well with his head burried between his thighs.
“I love you Cholo , please don't leave me ”, I feel
torn apart just by watching him right now.
“I am sorry , I love you so much but its not
working...” I say
I move to him and sit next to him. I rest my
head on his shoulder.
“Its ok to grow apart”, I say. A lump forms in
my throat.
I am trying to convince myself that but I can't
accept it. I don't want to but what can I do ?
***********
Its my first night away from home. Away from
the place I only knew and away from
Ntozakhona. All that I had in mind was him
and our child, our little blessing. I am married
now and I don't love my husband but seems to
be nice and not the way I expected him to be.
He is asleep while I look at the curtain. A lump
forms in my throat as I wonder that maybe he
moved on right after I told him I am getting
married. He never came back for me and I
tried fighting from my side but it all failed. I
have to let go but I can't. I will hold on the love I
have for Ntozakhona Ndlovu just so I can push
on, though it pains me
**********
Ngcebo is asleep once more. No one is taking to
anyone but we are both embraced in his arms ,
we cried and fought , made a mess and now we
are comforting each other. I look at him as we
are sitting on the floor and he has his back
against the bed. His head laying back on it with
his eyes closed. His hands are moving.
Caressing me as I am sitting between him and I
look and Ngcebo who is laying on my chest. I
look around the room and it's a mess. A big
mess like how our marriage is right now. Nelly
will forever be in our lives. He loves her ,you
wouldn't sleep with someone you don't love
______

NTOZAKHONA

I keep playing around with it, twisting and

turning it but never to take it off for once. My
mind is in thoughts, I brought this upon myself.
I couldn't imagine loosing Cholo I was even
ready to bury this but when Nelly said she is
pregnant I couldn't hide a human from her. I
don't know if we will ever work things out. Will
we ? The house feels empty and lonely with out
her , cold and so as the bed. I miss her so much
and I would try anything to win her back but
divorce is not an option .
“Hey daddy”, I look up and her stomach is a bit
bigger than I anticipated.
“You may sit down Nelisiwe”, I say.
She places her bag on the table and she calls for
the waiter. We are at the restaurant discussing
a way forward regarding the baby. I am not
going to neglect my child. I wouldn't do that.
She orders some wine and i look at her.
“White wine please”, the waitee nods and walks
off.
“You are not supposed to be drinking while
pregnant”, i say.
“Its just one glass”, she says.
“Even if it's a drop Nelisiwe you are nkt
supposed to be drinking with my child in there
!”
“Its not even your...”, she shuts her mouth.
I give her a look.
“Its not even your position to say that. I am
carrying it. ”, i click my tongue and stand up .
She will pay , I am not doing that.
“Where are you going?”i ignore her.

CHAPTER 26

I was doing laundry outside , mostly being

Ngcebo's as he changes a lot. Mah is inside
watching tv after she woke up early before
sunrise just so she can clean. Ntozakhona , I
haven't talked to him since the day we
departured. I am worried about him, the
announcement that we should divorce really
got to him. At this point i don't know what to
really do ? I have filed for a divorce with
Slindo's guidence and help and now I am just
waiting for the papers to be delivered . I am
confused at the same time. I get done then I go
and hang the clothes on the washing line. I
discard the water after and made my way
inside.
“Should I start with the pots ?”, I ask.
“No it's still hot”, I nod
“I am going to check on Ngcebo. ”, I say
“When you are done we need to talk”, she says
“Ok” , I make my way to check on Ngcebo and
he is standing at the ceiling . His blinking made
me feel at ease
I pick him up and kiss his cheek and lips. I can't
resist it.
“You are well behaved today”, I take his bottle
and I go to the lounge.
Mah switches off the tv as I settle down and
looks at me.
“Whay is going on Cholo?”, she asks.
“About what ?", I ask as well
“Your husband, your marriage. I thought you
were coming here to clear your head but you
just told me you wanted a divorce ”, I keep
quiet.
“Why are you still here ?”, she asks.
“I want to be here. This is home”, I say
“I am not denying that. Do you love that boy?”,
she asks.
“I do ”, I say
“Then why can't you try and fix what is going
on, God loves us and gives us a second chance if
we mess up. I am not justifying his cheating
Cholo but I am just saying. You want to throw
away your marriage for something that
could've been a trial that you could overcome
together. Marriage is hard and no child's play
but you out in the effort till you see that you
can't. This will always be your home and I will
always open my arms for when you need me
”,she says
“He loves her mah. How will he sleep with
someone he doesn't love?”, I say
“Temptation, the devil is testing your marriage.
He doesn't love her but you, I have seen it
Mntanami. You have never been happier than
being with him. ”, she smiles.
“The baby , we are talking about a child ”, I say
“You love your husband's child at your pace , it
will automatically happen. Do you want him to
move on without you ?", I cringe
“No , I am confused ", I sigh.
“Try, fail trying than not at all”, I nod.
“Ok"
“Let me take him ”, she takes Ngcebo from my
arms.

CIYELA

I don't know which ones I should get , the body

spray that is. I am contemplating in thoughts as
to which one I can buy while Sakhile is getting
some cold dinks on the other side. We have
pushed shame and I think we have came a bit
too far as well. I am in my second year and
already our relationship has reached it's year
peak. Nothing has been shady and I trust him.
He has proven himself , I feel bad for Cholo. She
loves that man and he doesn't realize how
much he broke her with his act. I throw in the
Peach scented body spray in the trolley.
“That seemed like an agressive throw”, I look
up.
“I am ...”
“Don't even think about it, This is my woman
move it ”, the guy does and I turn to Sakhile.
He puts in the cold drinks.
“That was rude”, I say
“Rude or not they don't know how much I sweat
to keep you”, I giggle.
“I feel special ”i say
“You are special”, he says
“Movies ?”, I ask
“Anything you want”, he says.
I push the trolley.
“Cici ”, he says and I stop.
“The old Sakhile is gone. I am not him anymore,
I am saying this because...”, I interupt him.
“I know. ”,
I do know. I access his phone to play games
everyday and he is always around. I am not
insecure , I trust him.
“Come let's get you home”, he says and we go to
pay.

NTOZAKHONA
“Slow down ”, I look at him.
“Shouldn't you be governing the country or
something ?”, I say
“I am not there right now ”, I take a gulp of the
susbtance in the glass and throw it across the
room , he holds my hands pinned on the couch.
“Don't think of doing something crazy”, he says.
“I can't loose her Nazo, I messed up I know but I
can't loose her ”, I say
“I know you love Cholo , I won't beat you up for
what you have done already but fix it if you still
want her”,I say
“And that bitch Nelisiwe. She will know what's
in for her ”, I say
She will know me and remember me on the
other side when I am done with her.
“Its hard I know.” he lets go of my hands and I
grab the divorce papers.
They had just arrived right now and I don't
know what to do , this is really happening. I
refuse to loose Cholo, I refuse.

CHOLO

I breathe out and look at Ngcebo for a while

and I kiss his cheek in the process. I breathe out
once more and move my hand towards the door
but I stop myself. I have been doing that for the
past 20 minutes and I haven't moved since.
“Cholo, just go and try fix things. You are
loving. You will love this child i promise you”, I
gave myself a pep talk .
I just walked right in, I am still the owner of this
house. No you are not Cholo, you send divorce
papers remember ?
I was approcahing the lounge , I could hear
voices . I want to turn but my body keeps on
pushing me to go forth.
“That was close and careless.You could go to jail
for this !”,I stop my tracks and hold Ngcebo
close to me.
“She lied to me and made me a fool. My wife, I
don't have her anymore so she should loose
something as well !”, that's Ntozakhona's voice.
It's clear that they are talking about Nelisiwe.
“Her life? I get you are angry but this is shit ,
absolute bullshit !”,
“Atleast no one will ever mess with me ever
again. When I looked at her in those eyes she
knew she messed with the wrong one as she
took her last breath”, oh my God. I move back
and bump the vase behind me and it drops.
Ngcebo starts wailing and I turn around
shaking as I walk out . I fiddle with his bag to
take out his bottle and I find it. Someone hold
my arm and I freeze. My heart rate is beating
fast.
“Cholo”, I turn around and I look at him.
I move my eyes to Ngcebo as he is crying. He
takes the bottle and takes Ngcebo from my arms
and rocks him back and forth. He closes his
eyes and holds him closer to his chest.
I don't know what to say or what to do. What
do you do when a murderer is Infront of you ?
How could he ?
“Who are you?”, those words slip out of my
mouth and he opens his eyes and looks at me.
“Please , can we go inside”, he says softly.
I look at him, Ngcebo has also calmed down and
seems to be asleep as well.
___________
I feel out of place for a moment. Like a visitor
that should be leaving anytime right now.
Nazo, he excused himself as soon as he saw me,
Ntozakhona went to place Ngcebo down while I
am sitting here. I placed my bag on the couch
and I made my way to the picture hung up on
the wall. I took it down. I wonder when this was
put up or I have never noticed it. It's like I come
across each and every picture from our
wedding to remind me of why we got married.
“He sleeps alot”, I turn around and look at him
then the item in my hands.
“He does”, I place the picture on the little table.
He looks at me with hands in his pocket, no one
has said anything to anyone.
“I recieved the Divorce papers ”, he says
“Oh” I say
“I am not signing that rubbish Cholo, we made
vows ...”,
“And you broke them”, I say
“I know. I have said an amount of sorries and
the only sorry I will give to you now is proving
how sorry I am. ”He says
“Be honest with me”, I say
“Ok”, I fiddle with my fingers.
“Where is Nelisiwe?”, I ask. I want to know
something.
“In the Indian ocean , sharks meal”, I cringe
“You killed her ?", Obviously he confirmed it.
“She is out of our lives for good. Just know
that”, he says
“And the child?”, I ask
“It wasn't mine. ”, he went to his whisky and
poured some.
“She kind of hinted that the child is not mine”,
he says.
“Askies( sorry)"
“Cholo”
“Mmmh ?”, I look at him.
“Not enough”, I say
“Its beyond that”, he says
“Why did you cheat with your ex?", I ask
“It was a stupid mistake ”,
“A mistake is tripping and falling a mistake is
forgetting something, you knew what you were
doing Ntozakhona you knew !!”, I suddenly feel
angry at him.
“I knew”, he looks down.
“Do you know how that makes me feel ? I lay
awake at night wondering if I was enough,
what I did wrong ? What I lacked ? What she
had that I your wife didn't have ? What hurts
the most is that you kept on saying you love me
when you didn't ! If you did you wouldn't have
made me feel so insecure , so bad and broken
inside. You don't know the damage you did and
you tell me that you love me , Don't fuck with
me Ntozakhona don't ! I have never saw myself
doing what you did to me with another man
because you were enough to me. I fucken love
you to don't want to hurt you that way or ever
imagine doing that and ....”, I went down and
sobbed , I felt a lump in my throat and my chest
closing in as I am crying.
“I am sorry”, I wish to slap him a couple of
times. Maybe I will be ok after.
_______
“How are you?”, she asks. How am I ? I cried
myself to sleep and felt a bit better when I
woke up. .
“Ok", I say while a sigh follows. I look at the
coffee Infront of me.
“You will be ok, if you both are willing to make
things work then you can make it work”, she
says
“You make it sound so easy Mah, I..I don't feel
good enough for him”, I say
“Its not easy that I know. You are more than
enough and any man would be lucky to have
you”, she says
“Can I have that other man that needs to be
lucky to have me ?”
“Cholo ! ”, I laugh
“You are married, He knows you will leave him
if he repeats ”, She says
“And I won't hesitate in doing that, I don't take
that shit ” I say
“Pray my child. You are swearing now , but
pray for God to guide you”, I take a sip off my
coffee.
“I will pray ”, I sigh.
“I love you Mah ”, I say
“I love you too much ”, she hangs up. I finish the
coffee up and I wash the cup.
It's great that I have pumped the milk out. Its
night time and I don't know where about
around the house Ntozakhona disappeared to.
My breasts feel a bit better right now. I went
around and found him in the main bedroom
laying on the bed. He turns his head to my side
and looks at me. I lean against the door frame.
“Do me like this again and I will leave you, I
don't care how many kids I have with you then
”,I point at him. I won't take nonsense . I am
done being that rural Cholo.
“No divorce?”, he sits up.
“No, our trust has been broken and I don't
know how that will ever be repaired. Good
night”.
“Cholo”, I look at him.
He gets off the bed and comes towards me ,he
pulls me to him and gives me a kiss. I stupidly
return it as well. He breaks it and he looks at
my hands and they are empty. He lays a perk.
“Can you lay next to me ?”, oh no.
“Ntoz...”
“Please”, hw says.
“No touching ”, I say.
“Ch...” I give him a stare.
“Ok”, we move inside the bedroom and I take
off my gown and get in bed.
He switches off the lights and he gets in as well.
I take a pillow and place it between us.
“I think that's unecessary”, he says.
“It is. Good night”, I say
“Good night”
I close my eyes ,the pillow is removed and his
hands wrap around me. He pulls me to him.
“Ntozakhona”, I warn
“You remember what I said to you 10 years ago
as a promise?”, he is ignoring me.
“You said you will give me my heart's desires”, I
say.
“I will give you that ”

CHAPTER 27
Noise ! It's what brough us here together. To
celebrate life of a child, Slindo and Sakhile's
middle child, Zabelo. He is 10 now and very
grown. Soon he will start puberty and his voice
will be deeper than it is now. Not all of the boys
have deeper voices in puperty but maybe. I
didn't know hat I should get for a 10 year old
boy so I opted for a gift card and he will buy
anything he wants. Ngcebo is with Samkelo
down the jumping castle slides screaming his
lungs out in joy. He can stumble his way
around but my little boy is growing.
“Oh my God , how will we round the kids up?”,
Slindo says placing the cake on the table.
The food is prepared I assume. We are in
Richmond crest, Sakhile's home and the event is
hosted there.
“You bought wine?”, Sane asks.
“I thought you said you don't drink since that
Therapy session”, Slindo says
“Just one glass and yes I am ”, Good for her.
The wine yard idea has been put on hold , we
need to do more research and see what we
actually would love to do together.
“Cholo can you get the ribs off the counter. I
forgot them”, I nod.
I walk off inside and I get the ribs that are
needed, I give them to Slindo and she places
them on the table.

The party soon starts. Happy birthday is sung

around and Slindo keeps on telling Zabelo to
smile. Ms party is Linathi, she said it herself .
She wants to be entitled to everything and I am
just assuming it's because she is the only girl
and will be the only girl out of Slindo's 6 boys.
You heard well, 6 boys, she is blessed with 3
more boys. She is done with kids now, that is
what she said after birth. They are cute small
things.
Photos of the parents together and Zabelo are
taken. Its lovely how they all work together into
giving these kids such love and not be on each
other's throats about who is who's wife or ex
wife.That is nice.
“Naledi ! ”, Sane calls out and looks at her and
tells her to smile so she can snap a photo.
Did I tell you that Sane Adopted a child , her
name is Naledi and she is 10 years old. She
comes from a disadvantaged home , her mother
is gravely ill and should be in heaven right now
but the only thing that held her was Naledi. She
couldn't leave Naledi with her family. They ill
treated her till her death bed. I don't know how
Sane found this child but she loves her like her
very own. So as Sikelela . I wonder when will
they will have another child. I didn't even
know they had a child until today when
Sikelela's photocopy arrived. Where has this
child been ? Boarding school ? That is the only
explanation.
Everyone is now indulging in their food and
Slindo has disappeared with her husband.
Maybe checking on their kids but there is are
nanny's looking after them. My marriage , how
is it going ? Well it's going well so far . I try as
much as I can to not let my trust issues get in
the way, I feel insecure as well I won't lie but I
am trying not to at the same time. I have
forgiven Ntozakhona fully but that doesn't
mean I forget. It does come to me at times but I
have forgiven him.
“How is life Chiliza?", I ask. It has been some
time.
“Its good, School is going great as well”, She got
a bursary to go and study.
“Thats wonderful and any boyfriend ?", Sane
asks.
“There is this bug that won't take a no for an
answer ", She says irritated
“Ouuh who is he ?", Sane leaves her food and
suddenly want to hear about this mysterious
guy.
“My professor”, we both look at her and then
each other.
“How old is he? ", I ask.
“30” , he is young.
“Is he hot ? Does he have a house ? Car ? Kids ?
Married ?”, Sane says
“I don't really care about that. I don't want any
man in my life. Can't they just get it ",she says.
“We get it ”, I say
“But I like this girl”, she says with a smile.
“Oh my God. You are lesbian ”, Sane says
jumping up and down.
How old is she ? Her energy is sky high.
“Lesbian ?”, Chiliza asks.
“Oh , I forgot you are from the rural area. You
like girls”, Sane says.
“You like girls?”,I ask.
“I don't know ”

We hear some screaming and we turn. Oh god

whats going on. We stand up and make our way
inside the house.
“What ia going on ?”, I ask.
Slindo is dancing around singing wedding
songs. Are we missing something ?
“What is going on ?”
“Someone is getting married ”, we all look at
each other.
“Who ?” I ask.
“Hawu, who else is missing here ?”, where is
Ciyela ?
“Ciyela ?", She nods and dances around.
It's amazing how she is happy like this.
“And the screaming ?”, I ask.
“I screamed. He just went on one knee
unexpectedly ,creating a magical moment. They
are in Sakhile's room at the moment ", I guess
We are all getting married into this family.
“Let me go and check on Nazo", she says.
________
The celebration turned out wonderful but we
had to head back home after the festivities of
today. I turn to look at the back and he is asleep
in his car seat. Water and running around
while falling doesn't do any justice. I feel a
hand on my thigh and I turn back and let out a
soft smile. I hold his hand and he kisses it.
“I feel tired. I don't want to disturb his sleep”, I
say
“Atleast you bathed him before we left”, I turn
around and look at him.
“Yeah”,I turn to him
“How about we make another baby when we
get home”, I look at him and he has a smirk
“It will be fun”, I giggle.
“How many more to go ?", I ask
“9 more ”, he says
“Lets get to it then”.
______
Thandiwe 'Nofotho' Makhathini, my sister. The
reason why she is called Nofotho from time to
time is because she is a replica of my paternal
grandmother. Exactly like her , I don't know
about the actions. Here I am supporting her
through her divorce. I don't know why their
divorce couldn't be settled out of court but the
one thing they are fighting for is the house. I
am sitting here and looking at her and her soon
to be ex husband at it. Divorce is messy if you
are in Community of property. This could've
been me and Ntozakhona. They are swearing at
each other and the judge is trying to calm them
down. Thandiwe is told to sit down and she
comes to sit down. She is fuming ,
understandable for her I guess. I hold onto my
bag and I look at her.
“Are you ok?”, it's a question I have to ask.
“Yeah”
I keep my silence and listen on what is
happening. He doesn't have a lawyer and so as
Thandiwe. This case is taking so long and no
final decision is made. If they don't split it the
state will take the assets.
We are out. She is stressed and now she cries,
she falls in my arms and I rub her back while
she is crying. She needs me , the mean
Thandiwe has vanished for a moment as she is
in tears. She is drained and doesn't want
anything else. She removes her self from me
and wipes her tears. A smile comes up from her
lips and she brushes her weave backwards. She
needs to plait her hair or let it out or better yet
braid it. The weave is not doing any justice
anymore.
“Lets go out. My treat”, i say just to cheer her
up.
“Ok", she sniffs. I take her hand and we make
our way out of court.
I rummage through my bag and search for car
keys and I locate them and my phone. A missed
call from my husband is recieved. I will call
him just now.
“Ntozakhona is treating you well”, she looks at
my car.
“Its big”, she says. I open it.
“Its because we have a child”, I say as we get in.
“I am sorry for telling dad about...", She says
“Its in the past”, but it always haunts me. She is
feeling bad I don't want her feeling worse.
“Where do you want to go ?", I ask
“Anywhere fancy ”, she says.
I buckle up.
“We will go to the mall”, she nods.
I drive off after. We arrive at the mall and she is
taking me to each store she sees. This one
thinks I won the lottery. I let her be and she
buys what she likes. When I feel like my feet are
sore I tell her that we should go and find a place
to eat. Her mood is now lighter and she seems
more happy and enjoying. I am glad that she is.
We order and settle , she can't keep her hands
from the plastics. I look at her.
“So you are going back home?", I ask
“No , I will find a room I can rent”, she says
I nod while at that. My phone rings and I forgot
to call him back
“Hello”, I say as I answer
“I miss , I thought you said you would stay an
hour”, he says
“She needs me , things are very bad”, I say. Our
drinks come and Thandiwe is looking at me.
“Ok, she mustn't come here though", he says
“Haibo Gatsheni. Akuwenziwa njalo( you don't
do that)" I say
“I don't like your sister. She is too sinister. Just
watch out”, he says
“Ok , I love you”
“I love to you so very much"
I hang up and place my phone on the table and
look at Thandiwe.
“How is Afika ?”, she asks
“Why do you ask alot about him ?”, I have to
ask
“Me ? No I don't ”, I give her a look.
“Ok look, I like him, since we were kids.”
“Oh I see ”,
“Is he married or has a girlfriend?”, she asks.
“He has a teenage son", I lie through teeth
“I don't mind if he doesn't have a girlfriend”,
she says.
“Ok, but heal from your divorce”,, I say
“Afika will heal me ”, God so help me
Our food comes and we have a light
conversation. The lunch is much enjoyable.

CHAPTER 28
I feel tired lately ,its the up and down that has
got me tired basically everything that revolves
around me. I got inside the house , After the
lunch Thandiwe took me everywhere she
desires. I will never give her a lift shame , I am
sorry but I am not her personal driver. I drag
myself inside and I see my 3 favourite boys
together watching tv.
“Lange ! I was about to ask someone to fetch
you. Are you sleeping over?”, I ask
“Yes sisi”.
“Good then. I will see you later, I am tired”, I
walk up the stairs.
I throw myself on the bed and I feel good, I
don't want to move from where I am. Is the
nanny still around ? Maybe she is in her
cottage. Something heavy is on me and I try to
move.
“You are heavy”, I say
“Your sister didn't do anything to you?”, he
asks.
“She did , she took me as her bank and personal
driver”, I say
“You won't see her again ?”, he asks
“No ”, I say
He kisses my neck.
“I am really tired”, I say
“I know.”
“Let me turn around ”, he gets off and I do. He
then gets on me.
“How is everything ? ” I ask
“Everything is ok”
_______
SLINDOKUHLE

I give her ice cream before she can ask for

anything else. There are now alot of people
assisting in the house we had to get 2 nannies, I
couldn't handle everything on my own. Nazo is
clueless in that department. All he knows is
pumping kids in me and taking kids who can
feed themselves out. That he can do. The rest he
can't.
“Now go to your brothers”, I say
“Mommy ”, I groan and turn to Linathi.
“Yes honey”, she is silent for a moment.
“Are we having a new mommy ?", She asks.
“Have you talked to daddy about that ?”, she
shakes her head.
“She is too nice. I don't trust her ”, my God.
I put the ice cream tub away.
“You are grown now Linathi, Daddy has to find
someone he loves as well. It's only fair ”, I say
“Why don't you and daddy get married
anymore ?”, where is she getting this.
“We were married but grew apart. I love Daddy
Nazo and he loves all of us. Don't you love
him?”, I ask
“I do , alot ”
“He loves you too, It's ok for daddy to bring in a
new mommy that he loves”,I say
“I wish you were together", she says
“Where did you get this ?”, I ask
“My friends live with both their parents. Why
can't we ? ”
“We will never be together but he will always
be your father , now go and do some
homework”, she nods and walks away. I sigh
closing my eyes
I place the ice cream away and I take the baby
bottle and place it in the jug.
“Dont be hard on her ”, I turn around. He walks
in and places his car keys on the counter
“When did you arrive ?”, I ask.
“Before that conversation", I nod. He places his
hands in his pocket.
“How are you feeling today?", He asks.
“Drained. I haven't slept a wink ”, I say.
He opens his arms and I dive right in closing my
eyes.
“You will be ok”, he kisses my forehead.
“How was the meeting ?”, I ask
“It was ok, let's take you upstairs and I will give
you a body massage. How about that ?", He asks
“It sounds perfect ", I say
“Good then. Let me take this to the nannies
upstairs”, he says and I nod.
He takes the baby bottles and walks up the
stairs. I am happy where I am and ok. I don't
need to go back where I came from. Linathi is
still too young to understand why me and
Sakhile are not together but when she is older
she will understand.
__________
CHOLO

I take the plate given by my sister to me , she

tells me that I should enjoy and I sure will since
I feel hungry. I am about to indulge in the food
when Ntozakhona makes my plate fall on
purpose. Thandiwe doesn't seem pleased and
wants to get me another plate and I agree.
Someone shakes me and I gasp while waking
up. I am sweating a bit and the lights turn on. I
sit up and I rub my eyes roughly before looking
at my husband.
“I am going to get you water”, he says.
“No..no I am fine ”,I say
“You were talking ”, he says
I breathe out and run my fingers through my
face.
“Th..Thandiwe was giving me food but you
stopped me from eating by spilling the food
each time", I say
“This is a sign. Your sister is up to no good and I
am sure of it ”, he says
“I need to pray", he nods.
I get off the bed and I went around and took his
hands.
“We are praying together, this is our marriage
not mine alone”, I say
“uhm Oh ok”, seems like he didn't want to do
that.
We both went on our knees and I started
praying for protection , guidance and the
growth innthis family that no force can
conqures in breaking it. I said Amen and I open
my eyes and look at Ntozakhona. Atleast he
obeyed and respected our praying session.
“Ok , we can sleep again ”, I say
We get in bed and he switches off the lights
before he pulls me to him.
“I have to go and see what your sister is up to.
She wants to destroy us by the look of things”,
he says
“She wants Afika ”, I say
“I know. He wasn't interested back then , even
now he is not”, he says
“You knew she wanted him?", He nods.
“Where have I been living then ?”, he chuckles.
“I need to tell him to do something before your
sister puts a love potion on him”, I would never
let that past Thandiwe. She is capable.
“She is capable ”
“Its good when it comes from your own mouth”,
he says and kisses the side of my forehead.
There is silence between us as we are just in
thoughts and nothing else.
________
We are going out to the beach , it's needed and I
am going with my two boys , that is Lange and
Ngcebo. Ntozakhona has some business to
attend but might join us later. We all got fully
loaded and made our way there. I wanted to
ask Lange some questions regarding school
since his brothers didn't seem to put much
effort in it. I don't want him to be something he
doesn't want to be so I have to ask.
“Langelihle”, I say
“Sisi", he turns to me.
“Have you thought of what you want to study
?”, I ask.
He is silent for a moment.
“Business management”, he says.
“Why?”, I ask. Can't he say he wants to do
engineering or those big words I don't
understand .
I feel like his brothers have an influence here
because most of them did that just to manage
the family business and only Nazo branched
into something much different in career.
“Afika said it's good for when I get into the
family business”, he says
“Ok, what do you want to study?”, I have to talk
to Afika. This is unacceptable. I can't have him
cornering him to do something he doesn't like .
“My mother has always wished for me to be a
doctor and I fell in love with the idea. I just
don't know what to be between a General
practitioner or be a specialist in Cardiology ”, I
take my time wrapping myself around those
words.
“Cardiology?” I ask.
“Cardiologist is the specialist. Heart doctor sisi
”, bingo.
“Oh that's good. Go for what you love ”, I say
“And Bhuti ?”, he says.
“I will handle him. You will study what you
want and he won't stand in your way or mine
”,those taxi freaks won't do that.
“Thank you sisi !” He seems happy and excited.
We get to the beach and I am sitting here with
Ngcebo. Lange takes him for a few minutes and
he stands a bit far from the sea and they just
stand there waiting for the water to reach their
feet. Ngcebo giggles and jumps up and down on
that moment. My phone rings and it's
Ntozakhona. I answer it.
“Where are you ?”, he asks
“At the beach”, I say.
“Which side ? We are here ”, We ?
I tell him and we hang up. I tell Lange that
Ntozakhona is coming and he nods. I get busy
with chips in my mouth and I feel a hand on my
shoulder.
“Sisi ka Lange ”, they say. Ntozakhona settles
next to me and kisses my cheek.
“I have some talking to do with you 3 ”, I say.
They are the only ones here.
“Ok, my temporary girlfriend is coming for
dinner at you place , be nice ”, Afika says.
“That's not nice”, I say
“She doesn't understand the term no strings
attached so she is temporary", he settles down
and takes out a beer from the cooler box they
came with.
“You know this food is for the 3 of us ”, I say to
Ntozakhona.
“We are not staying ", Qiniso says.
Yet they are opening beers.
“What did we do ?”, Ntozakhona asks.
“Why did you say the child should study
Business management like you guys did ?”, I say
“So he can soon learn the ropes in the taxi
industry ”, Afika says.
“Well that's not happening. Lange is like my
child. He will study whatever he wants not
business management”, I say.
They all look at me and then each other.
“What does he want to study?", They ask. The
big words fly off and I settle for :
“Doctor. He wants to be one and it's close to
him, He loves it. They can be anything without
doing business management and still be taxi
owners. I mean you baby are juggling being in
the petrol industry and still the taxi industry.
It's part of transportation in both ways. Soon
any of you will want to do something else as
well. Give our kids a chance to dream big but
that doesn't mean the legacy will end. It will
still be carried on. ”, I wanted to bring Sizwe up
but I thought that would be too sensitive.
“You think so Mama ? ”, Qiniso says.
“I know. I promise you. Just give him a chance
to choose his own path , he is 20 years. ”, I say
“Ok, he will study what he wants ”, Ntozakhona
says.
“Thank you”, I perk his lips.
“I heard your sister wants me. Tell her I don't
want her ”, Afika says.
“That's a bit..." He raises his hands.
“She will bring a snake and say it's a pet. Your
sister is too sinister. I saw her in my 8 year old
eyes. You remember how we ... Your sister did
shit back then ", he chuckled and they laughed
together. I was confused.
“What did she do ? ”, I ask.
“She would chase Afika and tell him everyday
that she is keeping herself for him and he will
marry her ”, Ntozakhona says
“Everyday. This one time I think she wanted to
take advantage of me, watch that one . You are
too soft and nice Cholo”,Afika says.
“She said you will heal her when I told her to
heal from the divorce”, I say
“She is obsessed”, no doubt about that.
“Please get us more food”, I look at Ntozakhona.
“Are we expecting mama ?”, Afika places his
hand on my stomach.
“Not yet ”, I say
“You just don't know ”, Ntozakhona.
No we are not expecting anything as yet. They
went off to get some food for us and then later
left. We had some fun at the beach just the
three of us and I told Lange about the good
news. So now we have to apply for him and I
will ask Sane or Slindo a step to step guide on
that. Gosh I feel outdated when I am in the city.

CHAPTER 29

Nothing is annoying than being woken up from

a good sleep that you are surely enjoying and
don't want to be disturbed from. That's what
my husband did and we are not talking to each
other right now. I am not talking to if I should
correct that. He is talking like his life depends
on it and I am not listening to any single word
he is saying the fact that we left Lange and
Ngcebo with the nanny annoys me more.
“Where are we going ?”, I ask.
“Somewhere”, he looks at me.
“You look annoyed”, he says
I fold my arms across my chest.
“I am , you woke me up for the unknown”, I say
“Its a surprise”, he says.
“I hate surprises ”, I say
He looks at me
“Since when ?”, I look out of the window
“You can rest, I will wake you up when we
arrive”, he says
I lay the seat down and I close my eyes.
______
I am shaken out of my sleep once again. The
sun has risen and I look around. I sit up and he
is by my side looking at me. I take off the seat
belt and he pulls me out then closes the door. I
think we are stranded somewhere.
“Are we stranded ?”, I look at this place.
“No , we are at the right place”, he says.
He holds my waist and pulls me closer to him, I
am still in some sleep and I still think we are
stranded because I don't see any houses expect
the one ahead of us.
“Are we going to someone's house ?”, I ask
“Just trust me ”,he says.
I nod and we reach the place. We meet a nice
looking white lady with a big smile.
“Hi, I am glad you made it", they shake hands
with Ntozakhona.
“This is my wife", Ntozakhona says.
“Nice to meet you Mrs Ndlovu. I have been
eager to meet you ", she says
“Nice to meet you as well”, I am confused.
“I will give you a tour around the place”, she
says and we follow after her.
We got on a golf cart and she was taking us
around this big field. She showed us the stable
where horses are kept. This place looks
amazing and very silent. Refreshing as well. We
reach a grape field and she gives us little
baskets and said we can pick up some grapes.
They look juicy as well. I pick up some .
“Taste this”, Ntozakhona sneaks up from behind
me.
“You scared me ”, he stuff the grape in my
mouth and perks my lips.
“It tastes nice and sweet”, I say
“Are we supposed to eat them ?”, he shrugs. I
shake my head.
“You are naughty", I whisper. He picks some up.
“They taste great ”,he pops some in mouth.
We get done and we leave , we are taken
through how wine is made and this is an
interesting experience , I was now actually
awake and eager to know anything at this point.
This is a nice surprise actually. We got to get
our hands on at that moment and met some
people who work here as well. They are a nice
group of people. After that experience we were
told to take break , we will be called for
breakfast.
“This was a lovely surprise ”, I say
“You enjoyed it ? ”, I nod.
“I enjoyed it very much thank you ”, I say.
He takes the wine and glasses and he pours
some for the both of us. He gives me a glass
and he raises his.
“To more years of love”, he says.
“To more years”, we share a kiss before we take
a sip off our drinks.
“This is sweet for me ”,he puts the wine glass
down.
“Breakfast is ready”, we placed the glasses
down and made our way inside the house.
We were settled down after dishing up some
breakfast. We said grace while if something
foreign to the man next to me and we indulge
in the food.
“Thank you for taking your time so early in the
morning and touring us around. This place is
amazing”, I say
“Its ok, you will meet the rest of my family one
day”, she says.
I smile and nod
“My name is Janet Bedman” she says
“Cholo Ndlovu ”, I say.
She smiles and nod. A conversation flows
through the table till we are done and a helper
came to take the dishes away.
“We can go to the lounge", Janet says.
We follow after her and settle on the couches.
She does as well, she takes out a file and places
papers and a pen Infront of me and I look at
Ntozakhona.
“You can read through the contract for
validation and any questions you have I can
answer. I will give you a copy for your lawyer
to check through it as well”, Janet says.
“I should read ? Why ? ”, I am confused.
“For 25% ownership of the Bedman winery ”,
Janet says.
“Ownersh...”, Ntozakhona takes the papers.
He scans through them and he gets done. He
gives them to me.
“Eveeything seems to be in order ”, Ntozakhona
says
“What is ...”,
“Your husband stood up to the offer of me
seeking 25% of my winery to you", I look at
Ntozakhona.
“Sign ", I take the Pen and I am told where to
sign. Janet gives me a fruit basket with 2 bottles
of wine and a white towel written Bedman
winery.
She said it's a gift for me. I am still trying to
wrap my thoughts around what I just did , so I
have shares in a winery or what ? What is going
on ? We get to the car and I stand there and
turn to Ntozakhona.
“What is going on ?”, I ask
“That was your surprise”, he says
“Do I have to move here ?”, I ask
“No ,you can't leave me. Let's get you home Mrs
boss ”, he says and I get inside the car.
________
CIYELA

I look at him as he is asleep. He is serious. He

really wants us to get married but I am scared.
What if he goes back to the old him before me ,
I have never been scared like this regarding his
actions because he has been straight forward
with what he wants in our relationship and
what he is here for but then there is Cholo and
Ntozakhona. What happened between them
scared me, I would do the same as Cholo but I
wouldn't survive. I would end up commiting
suicide in the end. I am not as strong as Cholo.
He opens his eyes and he looks at me , his arm
pulls me closer to him. I love that he has
respected my wish of sex after marriage and
here he is , he proposed a few days ago and I
don't know what to do now. How I should be
feeling, I haven't reached a decision if we
should do this or wait a bit. Is waiting worth it
? He does pay for my fees , he wants to see me
thrive. Am I bad right now ?
“Good morning”, he says.
“Good morning”, he frowns.
“Something wrong ? ", He asks.
“No, well...” I sit up and he does the same.
“Marriage ", I say
“You feel like I am pressuring you ? It's ok I can
wait. Whenever you are ready", he says.
“No,you are not pressuring me. I just want to
know what do we expect from it ?", I say
“As much as we would like to know but we
can't calculate our marriage. We can't calculate
how we are going to act or do as much but we
can have marriage goals for us. , A new house
,savings , kids , all of that we can garentee
knowing.”, he says
“Ok , I see ”, I say
“I love you Cici. I am not marrying you because
most of my cousins are married but because I
am ready mentally to be with someone and
settle down. Have a family as well, I am grown
to be in a stage where I want a wife ”, he says.
I perk his lips.
“I am ready too”
“We are in this together ", he says.
I wonder how my mother will feel. We are all
leaving her now.

CHOLO

Ngcebo keeps me on my feet, we had to baby

proof the house because of his naught ways.
Look now and I can see that Ntozakhona and
my love has come so very far at the moment.
It's not tradable. It can't be traded but can only
grow. I hope we learnt from our past mistakes
and be able to be good parents and also
partners to each other.
“Sisi you called me ”, Lange says
“Yes , I talked to your brothers and you are
going to study what you want ", I say
He attacks me with a hug
“Thank you so much sisi ”, he says.
“You are welcome”, we hear a breaking sound.
“Oh my God Ngcebo ",
We leave the kitchen and he is sitting next to
the broken vase. Ntozakhona is looking at him.
“Mama ”, he says.
“Why did you break the vase ?”, I ask.
He looks at me and sucks on his fingers.
“Dont do that Ngcebo", his father says and picks
him up.
Lange comes and sweeps the broken pieces
away and I go to check if Ngcebo is not hurt.
“You are very naughty", Ntozakhona says
“This is the 5th time ”, I sigh.
This child is going to break my whole house.

CHAPTER 30

“One, two three !! Oouuuhh!! ”,The pop sound

makes the least noise not covering ours.
“I have tasted this white wine and I love how it
really tastes”, Slindo says
“And Mrs winery here will give it to us on
discount”,Sane pours the wine in my wine glass
, Chiliza declines it.
“No, your husband's have money to buy it on
full price”, I sip on my drink.
“You bore”,Chiliza says.
“Guys you should be getting dressed we will be
late ",Ciyela says
“Lets make him wait. If he loves you he can”,
Sane says.
Ciyela throws her hands in the air.
“I am serious why didn't I choose other people
to be ...let me go out there alone”, she grabs her
dress and we laugh. I put the wine glass down
“Come let me help you get dressed”, I say
“Thank you",
“I still say we should arrive a bit late”,Sane says
“Or like this ”, Slindo says running her fingers
on her white lingerie.
“Dont even Mama ”, Ciyela says. We laugh
“Can't take a joke ”
“She is stressed”, I say
“Finally Sakhile is going to get some! . Poor
guy”, sane says
“He had to work for it ”, Slindo says
“And I am glad he proved to be worthy ”, I pull
the dress up and then tie it , Sane comes and
helps. We get done.
“Guys please get dressed.The ceremony is
starting in 20 minutes”, she says
“Ok, we are sorry Mam”, Sane says and we grab
our dresses and get dressed
Someone knocks on the door and I go and open
,it's MaNdawonde.
“The kids are already ready”, she says
“We were still praying !”,Sane shouts. These
woman have never prayed In my
understanding.
She walks in and looks at Ciyela. She smiles so
sharply and holds my hand
“I am happy you girls make me happy ”, she
says
“P!ease don't cry because I will cry”, Ciyela says
and mah chuckles.
“Let me leave you then ”, She hugs us all and
gives us kisses.
We get dressed and we are done. My phone
rings and they all look at me.
“I will turn it off”, I say.
They carry on with what they are doing and i
answer the call.
“Good morning ”, I say
“I miss you”, I chuckle.
“I will see you in the next 20 minutes”, I say
“I love you ”, he says
“I love you too”
I hang up and switch my phone off.
“Are we ready ? ”, Ciyela nods slowly and
breathed out.
“Dont be too nervous”, I say
“What If he changes his mind ?”, she asks
“Somlanda. Ngeke amoshe iskhathi sethu( we
will fetch him. He won't waste our time)” ,Sane
says
“Can we move?", Chiliza says.
We first pray together then we walk Ciyela out.
She looks wonderful. I can see she is shaking
but she will be very fine.
_______

All eyes are on her , no one is moving. I move

my eyes to the opposite side and he looks
agitated and nervous as well. They reach each
other and the ceremony starts
“Dearly beloved , we are gathered here ....”, the
pastor continues.

It has has been quiet a challenging and

blissfully two years. Ciyela has graduated and
now she is getting married , Sakhile was really
patient with her. I have been patient in my
marriage and I am happy where we are. Ngcebo
is growing so wonderfully as well. Thandiwe
moved back home after her failed marriage.
She was first after Afika but Afika packed her
up and shoved her back home with no return.
Lange has started studying and doing quiet
wonderfully as well. I am proud of him.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You
may kiss your bride ”, oh I missed the who!e
ceremony.
Sakhile wipes his eyes as licks his lips. Oh he is
going to do her dirty Infront of us. He pulls her
close to him and they share an intense kiss and
people Ululate. They break it.
We are moving to take pictures. Finally I can be
in my husband's arms. It's been a day without
seeing him. The bachelorette party and all.
“Youlokk beautiful”,he says and I smile
“You look handsome as well. Too handsome ”i
say
“Andonky for you”, he says and kisses my neck.
“Ouuhh I can feel the love from everyone.”, the
cameraman says and welaugh.
We take a few snaps and move to the reception.
All I want is good at the moment,I am hungry
And I am sure Ngcebo is troubling Nanny back
home.
Speeches are done and we get to eat, finally !
“Next year we are renewing our vows”, Nazo
says to Slindo
“Really ? ”, Slindo asks stuffing her face.
“Yes ",it clicks to her I think.
“Oh my God ", she kisses Nazo and he chuckles.
“Some of us are not married and are eating”,
Afika says.
“We would offically be married for 10 years”,
Slindo says
Wow !
“You are keeping it strong ”, Chiliza.
Single ladies are called up to come and catch
the bouquet.
“You should go”, Qiniso says to Chiliza
“I don't want to ”,she says.
“Its harmless fun. I would go with you but ...”, I
say pointing at my ring.
She huffs and throws the napkin on the table
and walks there.
“Whats her problem ?", Afika asks.
“She is pregnant” I choked on my food.
“Here is some water sisi”, Lange hands it over
to me.
“Thank you ”, I say
“How do you know ?”, Sikelela asks
“Let me say a farmer knows the seed he
planted”, what?
“Isn't she lesbian?”, Afika asks. I thought she
loves girls. She has been dating .
“She is ”, Qiniso says
“I am confused and shocked ”, Slindo says. I
feel the same way.
“It was just one night and that happened. ”, he
says
“Do you like her ?”, I ask
“No , I like her character and the fact that she is
a good mom. I am getting old knees a child
atleast ”, he says
“And she agreed?”, what is going on?
“She can't terminate it now ”
“She knows ?”, I ask
“Yes , that's why she is like this ”
Let me eat my food.
“I think I need to imoregnat someone
again”,Ntozakhona says.
“Lange is my son right boh ?", Afika says patting
his head.
“You wish Bhuti ”, we laugh.
“Oh but you like being mommied by Chol”, he
says
“Don't attack him please ”i say.
We carry on eating and watch the newly
wedded couple. Chiliza throws the bouquet on
Qiniso's lap and takes his food. We just watch a
movie, she eats with no care. Do they like each
other.
“Someone is next” Slindo says.
Chiliza looks at her and we all look away from
her death stare.
“I need the bathroom”, she stands up and
stomps her way away.

CHILIZA

I sat on the toilet as soon as I got in the

bathroom and I bursted into tears. I feel like
my cheats is closing in on me. My phone rings
and it's my girlfriend Amy, we have been dating
for a couple of months. It's almost a year and I
really like her. We have never labeled that we
are in a serious relationship bit have been going
on for the time being.
“Amy ", I say
“Hey, are you around ? ”, she asks.
“No, I am at my sister's wedding ”
“We will talk when you are back. I love you ”,
it's the first time hearing that guilt consumes
me much more.
“I love you too", she hangs up.
I hold onto my stomach and I keep on crying. I
messed up really bad.
.
.
.
.
The end