dejavu

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/34199875.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: F/F
Fandom: TWICE (Band)
Relationship: Im Nayeon/Yoo Jeongyeon, Hirai Momo/Kim Dahyun, Chou Tzuyu/Son
Chaeyoung, Minatozaki Sana/Myoui Mina, But 2yeon focused, Jihyo is
NOT the single friend, just you wait
Character: TWICE Ensemble
Additional Tags: Friends to Lovers, but then BUM, Lovers To Enemies, and then,
Enemies to Lovers, Alternate Universe - College/University, Football |
Soccer, Fluff and Angst, Eventual Smut, Slow Burn, Second Chances,
Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, title is not related to the song
tho
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of epiphany
Stats: Published: 2021-10-01 Completed: 2022-06-10 Words: 313,552
Chapters: 31/31

dejavu
by testingsth

Summary

Did you say a 101 class on how to deal with your ex-girlfriend coming back after over a
year without a word? Sign Yoo Jeongyeon in! She's going to be sitting in the first row.

Or, one more college soccer!au no one asked for!

Notes

1. For the purposes of transparency, please be advised that this entire work was revised
after I finished posting. I initiated this in order to correct some minor errors that may have
slipped by, but I also ended up fixing and rewriting some sentences to improve the reading
experience. I'm sorry if any small mistakes were still missed anyway. Some chapters' names
have been changed, a few sentences have been added and almost no sentences have been
subtracted (rarely, but it did happen). I promise that this is in no way a rewrite because
nothing about the plot has changed. But I thought it was worth mentioning since you're
taking the time to read my story. Furthermore, thank you for reading and I hope you like it.

2. Please do not copy or make any kind of adaptation, not on this site and not on any other.
Someone took this story to another site without my permission and that's not a feeling I like,
so please don't do that.
 i'm coming home
Chapter Summary

[11:36 pm] Unknown Number: Hi. I know it's been a while, but I'm coming home.
Can we talk?

Jeongyeon didn't have that number saved anymore but she still knew it by heart.

Fuck. Home? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

Chapter Notes

hi.
so first things first, as you may or may not know this story used to have another title
until halfway through it. it used to be "you're my end & my beginning" but then i
changed it to "dejavu" because i thought it fit the story better
it's mature rated because of the language, implied sexual content and also the eventual
smut
friendly reminder that english is not my first language so there may be lost mistakes
along the way
last but not least, i hope you enjoy reading this story as much as i'm enjoying writing
it.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It was all a bad dream.

Jeongyeon woke up panting, scared and thankful that everything was nothing but a really bad
dream. Not a dream, actually, it was a nightmare. That's how she'd define a life without her, at
least.

She sighed deeply and sat up so she could regulate her breathing when something in the corner of
her eye caught her attention. She turned around and glanced at the sleeping form lying down next
to her. Oh, hi. It was still dark but she was there, so it was okay, Jeongyeon thought.

Her head was spinning a bit and her mind was still foggy. The light coming from the muted TV
was the only thing providing any clarity in the dark bedroom she came to recognize as her own.
She felt a cold breeze coming from the slightly open window, the curtain swaying in the wind.
That's probably what woke her up, actually, since Jeongyeon always felt cold easily.

But instead of getting up to close the window, Jeongyeon pulled up the covers and cuddled closer
to the woman lying by her side. She took a deep breath hoping to find comfort in the familiar scent
she loved so much but instead she was met with a totally different perfume. That's when Jeongyeon
finally realized that something was wrong.

Everything was, actually. She should've known.

Jeongyeon pulled away abruptly but the other girl didn't seem to notice. All she did was pull the
covers up to her chest and lay down further into the mattress, getting comfortable after the slight
interruption of her sleep.

That's also when reality hit Jeongyeon like a lightning: it wasn't her. It couldn't be. Not anymore,
not since a long time ago. It wasn't a nightmare like she thought before, it was her reality, her life
now. Reality to which she had grown used to, but for some reason - and said reason had a beautiful
face, a pretty name and a currently unknown address - she had allowed herself to forget it the night
before.

But the reality also brought her a tremendous headache. Either the reality or the hangover,
whatever, Jeongyeon wasn't in a position to play the blame game at the moment. She didn't find
her phone on the nightstand so she squeezed her eyes into focus so she could take a look at the time
on the left corner of the TV where the news was on. It was 6:25 am, she grimaced. Way too early
to be awake on a weekend.

Jeongyeon tried to remember the other girl's name but nothing from the night before was very clear
in her mind. Was it Myung? Minji? It's something with a M… or maybe a N...? Fuck, Jeongyeon,
you're better than this. She cringed and scolded herself thinking about how it wasn't like her at all.

But what's done was done, she had more important things to think about now, so studied her
options: should she wake the M or N girl up or should she wait a little longer? It was Sunday, after
all, it's not like she had classes or anything else to do. Besides, she didn't want to be rude and kick
her out of her house so early. Would they even have anything to talk about if she's awake? Should
Jeongyeon make her breakfast or something like that? Fuck, she's no good at this kind of stuff, how
the hell did she put herself in this situation in the first place?

But hey, she's pretty. Maybe it was totally worth it, Jeongyeon thought and then rolled her eyes at
herself.

Get your head out of the gutter, you don't even remember what happened!, her responsible-and-
mature version scolded her hormonal-sixteen-years-old side.

Deciding it was best to wait a little longer, she took the time to replay the events of the night before
in her mind.

Jeongyeon remembered how Momo, one of her best friends and flatmate, broke into her bedroom
in the early evening claiming that they just had to go to, quoting Momo's exact words, redundancy
and all, an unmissable party they couldn't miss. Jeongyeon was painfully aware that she needed a
break from her own bedroom, where she had been playing this new game she borrowed from Sana
since the night before.

She had turned her set up on just after Jihyo and Sana left her apartment, the place they were
pregaming with Momo and Dahyun for yet another party she didn't want to go to. She chose to sit
that one out and Jihyo even offered to stay behind with her, but Jeongyeon just wouldn't let her
oldest friend miss out on the fun. Jihyo had been talking about that party the whole week, it wasn't
her fault if Jeongyeon had backed out at the last minute.

It wasn't that Jeongyeon was an antisocial or hated parties by any means. It was just that she
preferred to hang out with people she was more familiar with. Preferably where her teammates and
friends were in the majority or in places she already knew, which wasn't the case for Friday's
homecoming party, but it certainly would be on that one.

Momo quickly announced that the party would be held at the Beach House, therefore it wasn't too
hard - or hard at all - to convince her, but Jeongyeon just liked to play hard to get anyway. An hour
later the two of them were in front of a big familiar house just off campus, where the less gracious
jocks - with all due respect, since she was also an athlete - from the football team were already
throwing up in the garden and the blasting music coming from inside could be heard at least from
two blocks away.

The Beach House, unlike the name, was obviously not a house by the beach since there were no
beaches in Seoul. It was just a huge three-story house with a big pool and an amazing barbecue area
which always gives its visitors some kind of a holiday vibe, hence the name.

The facility was owned by Yonsei University and it was inhabited by sophomores, juniors, seniors
of the college's women's soccer team which Jeongyeon was also part of, as a goalkeeper. Her best
friend, squad defender and newly named captain, Jihyo, was one of the residents of that household,
but not Jeongyeon, Momo and Sana, the other best friends duo who played as midfielders for the
same team. But still, Jeongyeon had been there many times before, especially over the past year, so
she knew every bit of that place as if it was her own home.

"There's no way this party is going through midnight without campus police intervention."
Jeongyeon mumbled to Momo as they went in, but her roommate didn't seem to mind.

As soon as they walked through the door Momo went to find her favorite Beach House resident:
Kim Dahyun. The younger girl was also a member of the team and had moved in earlier that
semester, as soon as she became a sophomore. Soon enough, the couple were clinging to each other
in a corner, enjoying their own little world like they always did.

They'd met Dahyun as soon as she joined the team the year before and it took Momo no longer
than two months to fall head over heels for the sweet and funny winger that she was. They were
pretty cute together - not that the goalkeeper would ever admit it out loud - and Jeongyeon really
had grown to like Dahyun a lot. Also, the sophomore had practically been living in her apartment
since she and Momo made their relationship official about six months ago, so they're really good
friends by now.

Sana and Jihyo were pretty focused on a game of beer pong against two very drunk guys from the
football team while Chaeyoung was by their table's side with a stack of bills in her hand, taking
care of the bets. Tzuyu was nowhere to be seen, but Jeongyeon knew that if Chaeyoung was
around, so was her girlfriend.

Jeongyeon filled her own glass with beer and allowed herself to truly enjoy the party. She wasn't a
big fan of crowded places but whenever she was with her friends she felt like she could deal with it.
They were indeed pretty chaotic, which only made Jeongyeon love them even more.

Glancing around and taking a good look at their faces she realized just how much she missed
moments like this. Jeongyeon had just come back from her break at her parent's house and was
about to kick off her junior year, but she wasn't able to enjoy the time at home as much as she
thought she would.

Her older sister had just had a baby, so luckily her family was too focused on that to notice how
odd being back at home made her feel. Please don't get her wrong, Jeongyeon was also delighted
with the arrival of her first nephew. It was just that that city still brought back too many memories,
way more than she was willing or ready to face for now.

Thankfully, she still had Jihyo's company in her hometown to make her feel better, and she
certainly made sure to spend a lot of quality time with her best friend and the family's new baby.
But a new school year was about to start and she was finally feeling healed enough to enjoy the
college experience at its fullest.

After months of trouble and the whole almost-losing-her-friends situation that she didn't even like
to think about, Jeongyeon was finally feeling like the better and happier version of herself that she
hadn't been able to be in a really long time.

Even though it had taken a while she was glad to finally feel like she belonged with them again.
After all, Jeongyeon and- well, her, they had built those friendships together, so at first it was
really weird that she was the only one left.

Getting used to her absence was the hardest part. It was as if Jeongyeon couldn't understand how
these wonderful people still wanted her to be a part of the group after the better part of her was
gone. They were a team, of course, but being friends went far beyond being a group on the pitch.

Jeongyeon was never a people pleaser but she… oh, she was. She was the one who made most of
those friends for them. She was the one who filled each of their meetings with laughter and fun.
But she was also the one who left and almost made Jeongyeon fall apart.

But now Jeongyeon had just started to feel comfortable around their friends again and- oh wait,
their friends? Fuck her, they were only Jeongyeon's friends now; she kept trying to remind herself.
Despite that, they still made Jeongyeon see flashes of her sometimes.

Not that they would ever talk about her or anything like that. No, they would never do that. Not in
front of her, at least. Quite the opposite, actually, they always respected Jeongyeon's feelings and
made it clear that she didn't have to talk about anything if she didn't want to. They stayed by
Jeongyeon's side even when she tried to push everyone away, and for that she'd be forever grateful.

Even though Jeongyeon knew that Jihyo still kept in touch with her and also suspected that Momo
did the same, she didn't care. They could be friends with whoever they want, that's none of her
business. The point was that they were always very loyal to Jeongyeon and would do anything to
make her feel welcome, which she was also grateful for. But she was once a part of the team, a part
of the group, after all, so all of them were still kind of a reminder of everything she walked away
from.

Although it was hard to feel like she was left behind, Jeongyeon fought even harder so she wouldn't
leave them too. She wanted to do that, over and over again. Lost count of how many times she
wanted to pack her things and go home. Or better yet, go anywhere else, far away from the
constant reminders of the plans that would never come true, but she didn't.

She didn't let herself push them away, didn't allow herself to sink into loneliness. Oh well, not for
too long, at least. Jeongyeon wouldn't lose her friends because of her too. Couldn't let her take one
more thing away from her. Not after everything.

But for months on end, for many more times that she liked to admit, Jeongyeon felt like an intruder
in her own group of friends. Feel like she was an outsider at her own college and even a stranger on
her own team. But those bad feelings were gone for a while now, finally. She's healed, she's better.
Jeongyeon was getting over it, over her. She could feel that the day was coming, it was just a
matter of time - at least that's what she kept telling herself, hoping it would eventually manifest into
reality.

She just needed to keep distracting herself enough. Launching into college assignments, workouts,
practices and the great time she was having with her friends until all the bad feelings were
completely gone. Easy peasy.
"Nope. No fucking way you're gonna drink all of that." It was past ten when Jeongyeon took the
bottle of tequila out of Yerim's hands - she was one of the team's defenders and was currently
playing as a right-back, but the sophomore was a very versatile player - after hearing the girl mutter
something about drinking the whole bottle at once to win a bet. That was what got Jeongyeon out
of her own thoughts.

"Noooo, c'mon." Yerim whined and tried to reach for the bottle with childish grabby hands, but the
goalkeeper just held it up high.

It was a known fact that Jeongyeon was very protective of her team, which meant that sometimes
she had to play babysitter and stop her juniors from doing stupid shit like that. But she's always
been the responsible one, so she really didn't mind. It was almost second nature to her and she's
always done a very good job, if you ask her.

"You'll most likely spend the whole Sunday with a killer hangover and we have training very early
in the morning on Monday so, please, don't be stupid." She placed the bottle on the counter and
handed Yerim a red cup instead. "Use this."

"Okay, mom." Yerim sneered, poured herself a cup and smoothly excused herself.

Still, the sophomore stole the bottle as soon as she thought Jeongyeon wasn't looking. The
goalkeeper saw it, of course, but chose not to say anything. Just rolled her eyes and made a mental
note to tease Yerim when she couldn't keep up with the practice drills on Monday.

"What a pretty girl like yourself is doing all alone at a party?" Jeongyeon was still in the kitchen
when the question from a sweet and yet drunk female voice came along with a pair of strong arms
hugging her from behind. A kiss was also placed on her left cheek but someone else spoke up
before she could get a word out.

"Get lost, Yves. She's not alone and she's definitely way out of your league." Sana warned, popping
out of nowhere. She had some cash in her hands so Jeongyeon assumed she won the beer pong
match she was playing earlier.

"Oh, my bad, I didn't see you there. It must be because your presence isn't remarkable at all." Yves
shot back as she looked at Sana from top to bottom and Jeongyeon chuckled softly as she watched
the interaction with Yves's arms still around her.

That's because Sana and Yves had kind of a friendly rivalry going on since both of them competed
for the same position as starting AM on the team. Coincidentally, they were also the most popular
players among the student body population, both having a crowd of girls - and even some clueless
guys - fangirling over them wherever they went. The funny thing was that neither of them really
cared about the latter, but other people liked to talk about it like it was a big deal. So whenever
they were together there was always some friendly banter. Sometimes not that friendly, just banter,
but overall they got along just fine.

"How many times will Jeongyeon have to turn you down so you can finally put into that dumb
little head of yours that the two of you are not going to happen?" Sana made a point of stressing
each word. She also crossed her arms and straightened up her body trying to look taller. "My
friends have standards."

"Do you really have to kill my wet dreams just like I killed your soccer fantasies?" Yves replied
and released Jeongyeon from her hold with another kiss on cheek and a big charming smile.

Yves was already a senior and had spent almost the entire three previous seasons holding the said
starting position. That was until later last year, when she started to get more overwhelmed with
academic activities and let that affect her performances on the field, which prompted Coach Bae to
start giving Sana more minutes. She made the most of her opportunities and the japanese girl was
getting closer and closer to conquering the starting position she's always dreamed of. But when
Sana was about to say something along these lines, Jeongyeon decided to intervene so the banter
would develop into some kind of trouble.

"I'm not sure about that. I've heard that some dreams and fantasies might actually come true when
one craves it badly enough." Jeongyeon flirted with Yves in a teasing tone, playing along mostly to
make Sana mad. But the goalkeeper was sure Sana had also caught on to the other innuendo
hidden behind her words.

Yves grinned from ear to ear, focusing only on the most obvious part. She cast Sana yet another
smug smile, making the junior roll her eyes.

"I'll look for you later to see if my luck has changed, then." Yves winked at Jeongyeon and left
after a quick goodbye, leaving them to join a drinking game that was about to start in the living
room.

A few months ago Yves had actually asked Jeongyeon out on a date, but the goalkeeper wasn't
quite ready to go out with anyone at the time. Yves understood, of course. After all, she kind of
knew how difficult those times had been for Jeongyeon even though she wasn't aware of the
details.

Yves also made a point of stating how much Jeongyeon deserved someone better than her ex and
that she would gladly keep that offer up whenever Jeongyeon felt like she was ready to move on.
Since then, they have developed this dynamic of harmless flirtations and shameless exchange of
pick up lines back and forwards even if it made Sana cringe and pretend to throw up every single
time. With that, she'd always have a some fun, bust her ego a little bit and also annoy the shit out of
Sana, all at the same time. So it was really a win-win situation.

"Stop giving her hope." Sana slapped her arm after she stared at Yves until she was out of sight,
almost burning a hole on her back.

"She knows I'm kidding. We've already talked about it."

"Yeah, sure." Sana shrugged, then scooted closer to her friend. "But you know what you should
do? Put yourself out there. You deserve someone nice, Jeongyeon. Not Yves, of course. Seriously,
please don't do that to me. But it's time for you to have some fun, you know? I could introduce you
to some people-"

"Here we go..." Jeongyeon braced herself for the same annoying talk she had gotten at least ten
times before.

"Not that you'd need me, of course. You have your fair share of groupies on campus that would die
to have a little piece of-"

"Sana-" She felt her cheeks heating up and looked around to make sure that no one was paying
attention to their conversation.

"What? I mean it! I'm not talking about a relationship, okay? But you could at least get laid or
something. It would definitely improve that grumpy mood of yours." Sana said matter-of-factly.

"And who said I haven't?" Jeongyeon deadpanned. She wasn't even that grumpy anymore, she
didn't know what the hell Sana was talking about.

"Have you?" She challenged.

"I don't kiss and tell." Jeongyeon tried to defend herself.

"You don't kiss at all." Sana held back a laugh.

"Shut up." She lightly shoved Sana's shoulder and left the japanese laughing to herself as she went
to find Jihyo.

The gathering kept going like any other party full of drunk young college students: loud and messy.
Exactly what Jeongyeon needed at that moment. It was the perfect environment for her to spend
some time dancing with her friends, flirting with people she knew she wouldn't recognize the next
day and trying to dose the amount of alcohol consumed by her players - Coach Bae would be proud
of the last one.

Everything was going great. Actually, it was way too good to be true. So suddenly, in a matter of
seconds, Jeongyeon felt like the whole world around her had stopped.

At some point of the night she took out her phone and one particular notification made everything
start crumbling down. The once light and nice atmosphere suddenly became heavy and
suffocating. All because of a single text she wished she hadn't seen, or better yet, hadn't received at
all.

[11:36 pm] Unknown Number: Hi. I know it's been a while, but I'm coming home. Can we talk?

Jeongyeon didn't have that number saved anymore but she still knew it by heart.

Fuck. Home? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

Home home or home Yonsei? No, Yonsei wasn't her home anymore. So… South Korea, at least?
Home as in her dad's house which was like a four hours drive from Seoul? What the hell someone
who was supposed to be on the other side of the world was doing home? Whatever the fuck it
meant. And why the heck would she want to meet? Talk? Now?? Dammit, why would she even
think Jeongyeon would want to have a chat with her after everything?

Suddenly Jeongyeon's head was pounding, her heart was racing, she couldn't believe what was
happening and she surely didn't know how to take in what she just read. While around her, her
friends were still having loud conversations, completely oblivious to the chaos going on inside her
mind.

"I'll be right back." She took off before Jihyo could even assimilate what she said.

She didn't take long to find her way to the balcony on the second floor. The two upper floors were
kind of a forbidden area for visitors during parties, but since she was friends with the residents and
knew the house very well, she had no trouble finding the first place she knew would be empty
enough at that time.

There were three steps in front of the sliding glass door that led to the balcony and the place itself
had a great view of the pool area, but Jeongyeon had no interest in enjoying the landscape that
particular night. She closed the door to quieten the noise, sat down on the last step, hugged her
own legs tight and propped her chin on her knee as she tried to organize her thoughts.

No, she couldn't let her get in her head, Jeongyeon tried her best to keep her cool. Did she really
want to talk now? Now??? After all of this time?! Where was that urge to talk when she just ran
away? Fuck no, Jeongyeon didn't want to talk to her now. She didn't need closure anymore, or at
least that's what she wanted to believe. It hurt too much to think anything otherwise.

There was a time where Jeongyeon used to feel lucky to have found who she thought was the love
of her life so soon. But now, looking back, it certainly felt like it was somebody else's life.

They were highschool sweethearts. Started to date in their junior year and lived their love at its
fullest all the way through college. Well, at least until freshman year, that is. They even choose the
same university so they wouldn't have to be apart, for fucks sake. They had a plan. A future
together. A whole life waiting for them.

Except they didn't.

She broke her promise along with Jeongyeon's heart and now all she had left was the heartbreak, a
fucking break up letter and the all the memories they made in the almost three years they were
together.

But then suddenly she wanted to talk? Yeah, sure.

The glass door was opened all of a sudden, temporarily flooding the balcony with the pulsing buzz
coming from inside. A girl who Jeongyeon knew she had seen before somewhere suddenly stepped
out not noticing the presence of somebody else there. She had tears in her eyes and a full bottle of
vodka in her hand: a very dangerous combination. She didn't even seem that drunk at first, but still
almost tripped over Jeongyeon as she was stumbling out of the house like she had just ran away.

"Shit- sorry! I didn't mean to disturb, I kind of got lost actually. I'm really sorry-" The girl mumbled
some apologies as she wiped the tears with the back of her hand and straightened up her clothes
trying to look more presentable.

"It's okay, I was just leaving anyway." Jeongyeon lied, deciding she should get up and leave to give
this girl some privacy. Mostly because Jeongyeon herself would like some privacy as well so she
could have her break down in peace. More specifically the privacy of her own apartment, but the
other girl sat down next to her before she could get up.

"Are you okay?" She asked, sounding genuinely interested. She was frowning and her eyes were
trained on Jeongyeon, who for some unknown reason didn't hate that entirely. "You look…
distressed."

Yeah, that's one word for it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just needed some fresh air." Jeongyeon lied again, answering after considering the
question for a second. She wasn't about to share her troubles with a stranger. She also had a feeling
she should leave, but the other girl still had some tears rolling down cheeks. Besides, she had been
kind enough to care about some random girl she just met at a party, so against her better judgment
Jeongyeon decided to give the question back. "What about you? You look upset."

"You're Jeongyeon, right?" Jeongyeon frowned as the girl reached out for a handshake, but she still
accepted it, shaking her hand lightly. "We took a class together last semester. Evolution of Human
Health Care."

Oh, right, Jeongyeon had the feeling she knew her from somewhere. But she still couldn't put a
name on her face and it seemed kind of rude not to remember her name when this girl knew who
she was.
"Yes, I'm. And you are..."

"Mina. Myoui Mina." She chuckled and then smiled brightly, putting Jeongyeon out of her misery.

"Sorry, I'm not very good with names. As you remembered mine, I thought I should know yours as
well."

"It's okay, we were never formally introduced so I didn't expect you to know who I am." Mina
replied with a sweet smile. The tears she was shedding earlier were gone but the glossy eyes were
still there. "I remember you because you wrote your final project on the lack of public policies
regarding women's health and I thought it was pretty good. I've even used your article as a
reference for a project I did over the break, but you don't need to worry because you were properly
credited."

"Oh..." That's all she managed to say. Normally people would always compliment Jeongyeon on
her performances and skills on the pitch, but being recognized by a classmate in the academical
field really made her feel even more appreciated.

"That's why I know your name, Yoo Jeongyeon." Mina added in a low charming tone. "That, and
because I never forget a pretty girl's name."

Well, that took a turn.

"Thanks." Jeongyeon blushed hard, she was taken aback once again. Was she really supposed to
flirt with a girl who just came out crying from a party which both of them seemed to be running
away from? I mean, yeah, she has indeed been a good distraction so far, taking Jeongyeon's mind
out of her thoughts about the one who shall not be named. So what could go wrong? "Well, I'll
make sure to follow your example and don't forget your name as well, Minnie."

"It's Mina-" Mina tried to correct her before catching up on the shit eating grin on her lips. Then
they laughed together at Jeongyeon's poor attempt at being funny. "Okay, Yoo, you've got jokes. I
like it."

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. You're very pretty yourself, Myoui Mina, but that does not exempt you
from answering my question, though." Jeongyeon remembered.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, I was just getting some air as well." Jeongyeon could tell Mina was lying, but she
had been lying too so what else could she do? She just hummed in response and the both of them
enjoyed the almost-silence for a few moments. Hearing the loud voices coming from the pool area
below them and the muffled music from the party they left behind. Then Mina opened and took a
sip from the bottle of vodka she had been holding on to since she popped up there. She let out a
satisfied hiss and held it out to Jeongyeon. "It's not air, but it does the trick just fine."

Jeongyeon briefly wondered whether or not she should take it. Bad things tended to happen
whenever she would get too drunk, but she wouldn't get drunk, right? She knew how to hold her
liquor.

"Fuck it." She accepted the bottle and took a big sip as well.

Surprisingly, Jeongyeon found out that Mina was a very easy person to talk to. She just had this
kind vibe that conveyed confidence or something. Jeongyeon wasn't sure, her head was already
spinning a bit, but they were chatting, a few drinks later, like they were old friends who had just
gotten back in touch.

"I mean it!" Jeongyeon said out loud, clearly intoxicated, running her hands through her hair in a
frustrated attempt to emphasize her words. "I don't even like her anymore. Actually, I hate her.
That's it, I hate her!" She hiccuped. "Just like I hated the way she used to own every room she was
in, or how fucking good her stupid face looked even when she was all sweaty and worn out on the
field, and how I hate this feeling that her voice will still sound like home even after all the
heartbreak she's put me through. I hate it all. So I hate her."

"It doesn't sound like you hate her at all." Mina muttered as she took the bottle to her mouth again.
There was no trace of judgment in her tone, only honesty.

"And now what? She's back? Just like that? Just as suddenly as she left and I'm just supposed to be
okay with it?" She ignored Mina's comment and kept rambling angrily until she paused for a
moment. Let out an empty, shallow and humorless laugh, like the penny had finally dropped.
"Yeah, she's fucking back."

The bottle kept going back and forth just like their respectives turns to run their mouths.

"I really fucked up, I don't even know how to start." Mina finally said when it was her time to
share. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears yet again as she stared up at the starry night sky. "It
was doomed from the beginning, really. I shouldn't have dived into a relationship like that.
Especially with the only friend I had here."

"Did things end badly between you guys?" Jeongyeon asked, scooting closer to the other girl.

"Yeah, but it was all my fault. I never- fuck." Mina took a deep breath before carrying on. "I never
really fell in love with her, so I shouldn't have let it drag on for this long."

"What do you mean?" Jeongyeon coaxed.

"I like her a lot, Jeongyeon. I care for her deeply, but only as a friend."

"Oh, I see." Jeongyeon was starting to understand where that story was heading.

"When I transferred to Yonsei last year I ended up rooming with her since she was the only person
I knew in Korea. After a while we started sleeping together, but it felt harmless, nothing serious at
first. I liked it because it was nice and convenient. Comfortable, even. And I thought we were on
the same page, but I was wrong."

"Did you two get into a fight?"

"Worse, in a relationship." Mina chuckled and shook her head as if she couldn't believe herself.
"She asked me out and I said yes. I should've stopped when I realized she was developing feelings
for me when I didn't feel the same, but I didn't. We sort of started dating after a while even though
I didn't like her that way. All because I was terrified of losing her as a friend too... I was afraid of
being alone and that fear made me lie to her for months."

Jeongyeon didn't know what to say. She couldn't even begin to understand how hard that must have
been, so she just held Mina's hand and caressed it with her thumb to try and show a little support.

"I felt bad about it the entire time. I mean, when we were together it was nice, but that was it.
Convenient. I don't have much experience in serious relationships, but I know for a fact that that's
not how love was supposed to be. It was just... I don't know, not right, I guess. It felt like
something was missing." Mina picked up the forgotten bottle of vodka and took another big last
sip, finishing off the liquid. "Then I realized that when I talked to other people... well, I noticed
that it was very easy to crush on them. In a way that was never easy with her. I started to feel
attracted to other girls from my classes so easily, and I felt so guilty when I caught myself thinking
about what it'd be like to be with them instead of her. And shit, I never thought I'd be that kind of
person, but I felt like I was cheating on her."

Uh, you kind of were. Jeongyeon thought but said nothing. Well, at least from her point of view she
was, but she knew not everyone thought the same way. Also, she didn't want to add any more guilt
to the burden Mina was already carrying, so she kept quiet.

"So I finally had enough and mustered up the courage to break up with her a few weeks ago. The
worst part was that she already knew. She said she knew I didn't feel the same but she liked me too
much to care about that. Said that it was okay if I just wanted to go back to sleeping together. That
things didn't have to be serious between us as long as she could… be with me."

Damn, yeah, so it was even worse than Jeongyeon thought. But Mina wouldn't do that, of course
not. Jeongyeon didn't need to know her for more than one night to know that she wasn't that kind of
person.

"But I- I couldn't. I wouldn't. So naturally I moved out of the apartment we shared and did my best
to give her the space she needed to heal. Get over it- or me, you know. We've barely talked since
then, but today she told me that she's moving back to Japan." Mina sighed in defeat and tried to
drink more only to find that the bottle was empty. She chuckled after she noticed and left the
container spinning on the floor. "I know it's the best for her right now, but she was still my best
friend here, you know? And now we're nothing anymore. We're nothing because I was too much of
a coward to be honest when it really mattered."

"It's a... shitty situation, Mina." Jeongyeon squeezed Mina's hand. "I'm sorry you're going through
this but it's not all your fault, I really hope you know that. If she knew how you felt and still asked
you to be her girlfriend anyway she's just as responsible as you are. Maybe even more."

"No, not more." Mina shook her head and took another deep breath. Then forced a weak smile.
"But it's okay. Deep down I know that, it's just..."

"Hard." Jeongyeon completed and Mina nodded.

"I never meant to hurt anyone, I'm just too fucking afraid of being alone." Mina revealed without
even thinking, she was way too drunk to feel embarrassed. "Gosh, that's really fucked up, I know."

"No, it's okay, I get it." Jeongyeon nodded this time. "Being alone is scary."

"I'm not talking romantically, you know? I hope you know that, I don't want you to think I'm-"

"I know, Mina, trust me. I really understand what you mean. It sucks." Jeongyeon answered
sincerely. She had felt the same way before, not too long ago.

"I've never been a very sociable person, okay? Ever since I was a child. I've never picked my
friends really, they've always chosen me. So I really value the friends I have, but now everyone I
love is in another country while I'm stuck here. It'd be insensitive to go back home since she's
going back to Japan because of me and honestly, I can't give up on what's best for my education
because of one bad experience. I know it's not like it's the end of the world, but I've been alone for
too long, you know? I know how it is and I hate it. I just... shit, I didn't want to go back to that
place again. So when I thought I was going to lose one of my best friends I did everything I thought
was right to keep her. But I still lost her anyway, so jokes on me. It sucks."

Jeongyeon listened to Mina vent while she was looking at her profile and- oh, she's very pretty;
yeah that was her first thought. But she also saw something in her eyes that she didn't like. It didn't
feel right. Mina was lonely, Jeongyeon noted. So she tried to put herself in the shoes of the girl she
had just met.

A shy, gentle girl, all alone in a foreign country, desperately trying not to lose the one person she
trusted the most. Jeongyeon felt sorry for the younger girl, but pity was not at all what she felt.
There was a feeling she couldn't identify, like an invisible force pulling her toward Mina. An
unexplainable urge to make her feel better. A desire to take care of her as if she was a close friend
she had known for years. Or maybe it was just the booze talking, but still.

"You won't be alone again, Mina." The other girl who up until then had been staring at the sky,
turned her attention back to Jeongyeon. "I'll be your friend."

"You will?" Mina laughed as if the older one had said something funny.

"Of course!" Jeongyeon vouched. "Do you know any stronger bond than two drunk, sad girls
sharing relationship problems on the floor of a party? It'd only be better if we were in a bathroom,
but I think we can let this one go." Jeongyeon added with a lopsided smile and Mina stared at her
for a few seconds before copying the same grin.

"You're right." Mina beamed and squeezed Jeongyeon's hand back. "Then you'll be my friend,
Jeongyeon."

That's the last piece of conversation Jeongyeon remembered clearly before the flashes of the last
events of the night popped into her head like a movie: Jeongyeon and Mina kissing; Jeongyeon and
Mina taking each other's clothes off in the middle of the living room of the apartment the former
shared with Momo; Jeongyeon pressing Mina against her bedroom door and then Mina pushing
Jeongyeon on the bed and- oh, fuck.

What kind of friendship initiation ritual was that?

Jeongyeon blinked a few times trying to assimilate all the information hitting her all at once. She
remembered everything now. Shit. She was screwed.

So here's what she knew: A, her ex was back. Yeah, after a whole year; B, she made a new friend -
this one's still up for debate - the night before; and C, she apparently slept with her right after.

Apparently? No, she definitely slept with her. Did she regret it? No, but she believed that the
situation could've been handled better.

And here's what she didn't know yet: D, why was her ex back?; E, why the hell would she want to
talk to Jeongyeon?; F, what the fuck home meant, after all?; and G, how was she going to deal with
everything that happened with Mina the night before?

Jeongyeon felt like the alphabet would run out of letters if she kept listing all of her problems so
she stopped. Goddamned alcohol. She cursed like the liquor was the one and only source of her
troubles.

But Mina- oh, Mina. Okay, now Jeongyeon felt a little bad for forgetting about her earlier. But hey,
she had just woken up with a killer hangover, she's sure anyone would understand.

Jeongyeon decided it was best to at least get up and make some coffee so she could try to ease the
 tremendous headache that was definitely trying to punish her for being so reckless. First she went
to check her phone - which had fallen to the floor at some point of the night - and put it on the
charger after a quick look at her messages.

Luckily, Jeongyeon's drunken persona had been wise enough to let her friends know that she was
going home with someone so they wouldn't be worried about her whereabouts after she left the
party. To her credit, Sana texted back something like hell yeah, go get it and Momo just said she
would just crash at Dahyun's room to give Jeongyeon some privacy.

She also noticed that there were more messages from that unsaved familiar number from the night
before, but she wasn't going to worry about that that early in the morning. No, Jeongyeon needed at
least two cups of coffee before dealing with anything with the potential to cause her even more
stress.

She put the first t-shirt she found on the floor and a pair of shorts taken from an already opened
drawer. Then she headed to the kitchen of the small apartment and set the coffee maker before
going to the bathroom so she could freshen up a bit.

Jeongyeon had just finished brushing her teeth when she heard a couple of knocks on the door. She
mentally cursed whoever it was, but deep down she knew it'd probably be Momo coming home in
a walk of shame style after losing her keys because she was too busy with Dahyun to pay attention
to anything else. It had happened before. Several times, actually, she should really be embarrassed
by now.

She walked towards the door stomping her feet and raising her voice so the person on the other
side could hear her.

"Momo, how many times do I have to tell you-" Jeongyeon opened the door abruptly and
immediately froze when she saw who was on the other side.

It was like the world had stopped spinning and she was completely swept off her feet for the
second time in less than twenty-four hours.

"Hey." She said as her big brown eyes watched Jeongyeon carefully. She was standing outside with
her hands inside her jacket pockets and a sheepish expression which unfortunately Jeongyeon knew
all too well. "Long time no see?"

The author of the text which started the cycle of reckless events from last night.

Her one and only ex-girlfriend, in the flesh:

Im Nayeon.

Chapter End Notes

as the brilliant lyricist im nayeon once said: oh no, here we go...

 that's going to be a long ride
Chapter Summary

That situation had the potential to either drive Jeongyeon crazy or to be exactly what
she needed to get over Nayeon once and for all. To finally have the closure she
deserved.

Either way, Jeongyeon did her best to brace herself. Whatever was going to happen
next, she knew this was going to be a long ride.

Chapter Notes

hope you enjoy this one as well :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

For a split second Jeongyeon felt like she was out of her own body. As if she was a third person
just watching it all happening right before her eyes.

Her ex-girlfriend was wearing once-white jordan's, ripped black jeans and a leather black jacket
over her white t-shirt that made her look like she was coming straight out of a teen movie. She was
also wearing a black cap and her hair was much shorter than the last time Jeongyeon had seen her,
cropped at a shoulder length. Jeongyeon could smell her familiar perfume - at least that much
hadn't changed - and that was the last straw for the realness of that moment really hit her.

Nayeon was there. She really was there. Back and standing right in front of her door.

Jeongyeon was well aware that time was passing by but she couldn't bring herself to say anything.
All she could do was stare at her like she was having a fever dream.

"May I come in?" The question burst the safety bubble Jeongyeon had created.

She frowned even deeper and blinked a few times before doing the only thing she thought fit for
that moment: she closed the door shut right at Nayeon's face, without saying a single word.

That wasn't really happening, was it? It had to be a part of some big prank the universe was playing
on her, right? Jeongyeon wondered as she paced back and forth by the door.

How dare she just show up at her door like that? How the hell did Nayeon even know where she
lived in the first place? And what about the goddamn long time no see!? Was that really the first
thing Jeongyeon heard coming out of her ex-girlfriend's mouth after over a year? Pathetic!

"Jeongyeon? Are you okay? I can hear you pacing in there." The familiar voice stood out coming
from the other side and Jeongyeon closed her eyes tightly as she heard her again. She knew
Nayeon was clinging by the door but she still didn't know exactly what she would do about it.

"You- I- fuck." Jeongyeon tried to answer but ended up stuttering, quietly cursing herself for that.
She then turned away and stationed herself at a safe distance from Nayeon. Or rather, from the
door. "Why are you here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"You need to leave."

"Hey, listen to me, please. Can you- dammit, Jeong, can you please open up? It's weird talking to a
door."

"I'd rather talk to the door right now, thank you." She replied unabashedly, sounding borderline
childish.

"There's someone out here looking at me funny. I don't think she's happy that I'm yelling outside
her hallway so early in the morning."

Great. Nayeon surely woke up one of her neighbors.

"Then go away!" Jeongyeon tried one last time, moving closer to the door to make sure she would
be heard.

"I can't." Nayeon replied firmly. "Listen, I need to talk to you, okay? It can be through this door
since you aren't answering my texts, but I'm not leaving until we do. It's up to you. Are we going to
do this face to face or do you want all your neighbors to hear us?"

Jeongyeon knew Nayeon was dead serious because if there was one thing her ex-girlfriend didn't
do, it was empty threats. Empty promises? Yeah, sure - her bitter self chose that moment to show
its colors - but empty threats? No, never. That wasn't like her.

She knew from experience how stubborn Nayeon could be, and she also knew that her next door
neighbor always tried to hide the fact that she was a fucking gossip seeker under the guise that she
was just an overcommitted journalism major. Besides, two girls from the volleyball team also lived
downstairs, and Jeongyeon would die before letting whatever the hell that was reach Jennie's ears
to be used as ammunition against her.

That's why the younger girl put one hand on the doorknob and leaned her forehead against the
wood. Kept her eyes closed as she evaluated her options, trying to make a decision. Relenting - and
cursing herself for it yet again - she lightly knocked her head against the door and regretted it
immediately when the pain was sharper than she had anticipated. She put that one on Nayeon's tab
too. Yeah, it's all her fault.

Jeongyeon took one last deep breath before suddenly opening the door. The action almost sent
Nayeon crashing right into her living room, since the girl seemed to be sitting in the hallway with
her back leaning against the door.

"Oh shit, my bad! I- I thought you wouldn't give in so easily, so I thought I'd better make myself
comfortable." Nayeon explained as she stood up quickly and fixed her clothes. "I mean, I didn't
mean you were easy, not at all, I just thought we'd really do it through the door." She tried to
correct herself as Jeongyeon just stared at her with a frown and crossed arms. "I better shut up now.
Hi."

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes and walked away. Nayeon took the open door as an invitation, closing it
back before following Jeongyeon into the apartment. The younger one went straight to the kitchen
and poured herself a cup of coffee while Nayeon carefully watched her every move. Her shoulders
were stiff and her steps were carefully calculated so that she wouldn't be facing Nayeon.
Jeongyeon didn't know what to think. Didn't know what to do and couldn't imagine the purpose of
that "visit". But what surprised her the most was that she wasn't all that keen to find out. She knew
that whatever it was it probably wouldn't be good for her.

Nayeon waited quietly until Jeongyeon finished her stalling activities from outside the countertop
that divided the living room and the kitchen. When she finally faced Nayeon - not anywhere near
the counter, but from as far away as possible, leaning against the fridge with one arm hugging her
own body and a cup full of coffee in her other hand - that's when the older one finally spoke up.

"I sent you a text. A few, actually. Last night and this morning."

"I know."

"You didn't answer, that's why I came here."

"I thought that the lack of response was a pretty good sign that I didn't want to talk to you."

"I needed to let you know, Jeongyeon. It'd be unfair if I didn't do that myself."

Unfair? Really? Did she really want to talk about what was fair now? Jeongyeon held herself back
before she could make a scene.

"Let me know what?" She chose to focus on the most important matter. "What the hell would you
need to let me know now?"

"That I'm here." Nayeon replied hesitantly.

"Well, I can see that."

"No, I mean that I'm really back. To stay. I'm coming back to Yonsei."

Oh. That.

For some reason Jeongyeon hadn't thought about that yet. The fact that that visit might be not just a
visit, but a permanent thing. Actually, she hadn't really thought clearly about anything at all since
she had received the first text from Nayeon the night before.

Only one particular word echoed in her head though: home.

"Why?" Jeongyeon asked after she took a few seconds to think and Nayeon just stared at her for a
while. She was mulling something over, Jeongyeon was familiar with that expression. Not only
thinking but also seemed to be conflicted as well. And since Nayeon had respected her own
thoughtful moment mere seconds ago, Jeongyeon figured that the polite thing to do would be to
return the favor.

However, it had been so long since Jeongyeon had been the subject of that gaze that she felt her
knees grow a little weak under her stare. She looked away and continued to wait in silence. Took a
sip of her coffee just to have something to do. A voice in the back of her mind said that it should be
illegal to have Nayeon looking at her like that, but before she could start thinking about drafting
that law herself, her ex-girlfriend finally spoke up.

"Because I wish I never had to leave in the first place."

What? What the fuck does that mean?

"What? What the fu-"

Just as Jeongyeon began to externalize her thoughts, Mina emerged from the hallway coming out of
her bedroom without any warning. Jeongyeon was almost startled, actually. She had completely
forgotten that there was somebody else in the apartment. The younger girl's eyes met Jeongyeon
first. She flashed a sweet smile as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes to fully wake up.

"Hi, is everything okay? I heard the door and I thought you might have left, but then I heard voices
and oh sorry-" She stopped in her tracks when she noticed another person standing there. "Is that
your roommate?"

Jeongyeon saw the exact moment Nayeon froze. Her features were hard but indecipherable and
Jeongyeon shivered even though there was no reason for that.

"No, she's not my roommate." Jeongyeon replied, choosing to look at Mina.

She hoped her potential new friend would somehow understand what was going on there. They had
talked about Nayeon the night before, so maybe it wouldn't be too hard for her to catch up. Well, or
perhaps Mina hadn't been paying attention or maybe she was just too drunk to remember, but that's
okay; it's not like she owed Jeongyeon anything.

Mina looked a bit confused as she seemed to be wondering what that meant. Why wouldn't
Jeongyeon elaborate? She was way too vague in her answer, but the tension was tangible enough
for her to read in between the lines. She exchanged a couple of glances between the two ex-
girlfriends and it didn't take long for her to figure out the exchange. Mina was pretty smart,
Jeongyeon soon noticed. She seemed to get a grasp of the whole thing way too quickly for
someone who was just as drunk as she had been the night before, but she also seemed to have a
plan.

"Sorry for stealing your clothes, I didn't find my shirt." Mina said as she strolled toward Jeongyeon,
placing one of her arms behind her back and slipping the other one over her stomach. Jeongyeon
uncrossed her arm to make room for her, allowing Mina to cling into her side. "Oh, there it is."

She nodded towards a piece of clothing lying over the countertop and Jeongyeon honestly had no
idea how the hell it had ended up there. But because of that, Mina was wearing one of her Yonsei's
soccer team sweatshirts that was most definitely lying around somewhere in her room.

Nayeon's eyes followed Mina every step of the way, but when Jeongyeon let her arm go around
Mina's waist, her gaze fell to the ground. Oddly enough, that didn't bring Jeongyeon the
satisfaction she wished it would. Even though she knew she wasn't doing anything bad, it still felt
wrong. Very wrong.

"Oh, hello. I'm Mina. Myoui Mina." She offered Nayeon a smile, but the older girl didn't seem to
notice.

"Im-" Nayeon stammered. She licked her lips before speaking again. "Im Nayeon."

"Yoo Jeongyeon." Jeongyeon blurted out without thinking and Mina giggled softly as if she didn't
mind her terrible attempt at a joke, but Nayeon didn't even flinch. Jeongyeon tried to read
something in the blank expression Nayeon had on her face, but to no avail. "Are you really here to
stay?"

"Yes." Nayeon shook her head to snap herself back to her senses and once again raised her gaze to
the two girls in front of her. Jeongyeon could see right through her now, though; her mind was
thousands of miles away. "I thought you should know."
"Okay." Jeongyeon nodded. She understood why Nayeon would want to let her know. She
understood why Nayeon wanted to give her a heads-up beforehand instead of letting her find out by
bumping into her in some random corner of the campus. Yeah, she got it, but it didn't make the
situation any easier for her. "Consider me warned, then. Is that all?"

Jeongyeon was trying hard to keep her hostility in check, but it was pretty tough when she was still
trying to hold on to so many things she wished she had said to Nayeon. Besides, it was a lot to take
in on a hungover Sunday morning.

She gulped wondering what that could mean and stared at Nayeon as an uncomfortable silence
took over the place. Jeongyeon felt the way Mina tensed up against her body and also noticed that
Nayeon clenched her hands nervously as she herself was also deep in thoughts.

The sound of Mina awkwardly clearing her throat was what brought the two ex-girlfriends back to
reality. Again. Neither Nayeon nor Jeongyeon seemed to realize how much time had passed.

"Yes. Yeah, that's all for now." Nayeon breathed and shifted her weight from one leg to the other.
Cleared her throat and tried hard to look only at Jeongyeon as she spoke again. "I... um, I was
wondering if maybe we can talk again soon? Just the two of us."

"Or maybe you could just send me a letter with whatever you have on your mind. Another one, I
mean." Jeongyeon couldn't hold back that time. She saw Nayeon flinch, feeling uncomfortable.

Jeongyeon thought she would strike back. Hoped for it, actually, so that she could say a few more
words. She figured Nayeon would at least try to explain herself or insist on the topic of a future
conversation, but she couldn't be more wrong.

"Yeah, I deserved that one." Nayeon nodded. Her gaze was still distant, a little lost, and a ghost of
a smile flashed across her lips.

Jeongyeon felt her heart beat faster but not in a good way. It hurt. She felt a sudden urge to
apologize, but she pushed that feeling away and kept staring at Nayeon.

"I'll see myself out. See you around, Jeongyeon." She didn't spare Mina a single glance. Not even a
brief wave or a goodbye before turning around and walking away.

Mina let go and gave her some space as soon as they heard the door slamming shut. Jeongyeon let
out a breath she didn't know she was holding; felt as if she had just ran fifty miles in the last few
minutes.

"That's a lot to take in before breakfast." Mina tried to lighten up the mood. "Sorry about that. You
looked kind of cornered and I thought that maybe she would leave faster if it looked like you had
company."

Jeongyeon opened the fridge and drank a whole bottle of water while Mina was talking. The
hangover had really decided to relentlessly punish her that morning. Jeongyeon felt nauseous and a
little dizzy at the same time. She blamed this on the hangover, of course, not on the fact that she
had just seen Nayeon after all that time.

Nayeon looked almost exactly as Jeongyeon remembered. Seriously, why on earth did she have to
have her heart broken by someone so pretty? The most notable difference was that Nayeon had
short hair now and Gosh, did it fit her well.

"It's okay, you were great. Thanks, by the way." Jeongyeon handed Mina a water bottle before
sitting down on the bar stool and propping her elbows on the countertop. She rubbed her eyes with
her hands until she started to see stars.

"So that's the ex?" Feeling a nasty headache, she shuddered a bit when she felt Mina sitting on the
other bar stool by her side.

"In the flesh."

"That sucks."

"That sucks, indeed."

"She's hot." Jeongyeon's head immediately snapped her way and she glared at Mina in disbelief.

"Really?? That's where you're going?"

"I mean, yeah. Sorry, I have eyes." Mina shrugged and cast an apologetic expression. Jeongyeon
grunted, but then she couldn't help but laugh. Yeah, Mina was right. The japanese girl snickered
along before she drank her water.

"About last night..." Jeongyeon started without knowing exactly what she was going to say.

"We don't have to talk about it now." Mina tried to reassure her, but of course ever-so-noble-
Jeongyeon wanted to give her an explanation.

"It's just that I don't usually do this kind of stuff, so I don't know how to go about it here."
Jeongyeon was honest. She was starting to get baffled at how easy it was to just tell Mina the truth.

Ever since the party when she was sure she had spilled all the embarrassing details about her life,
as well as her breakup and previous relationship with Nayeon. The night before she thought she
was just desperate to find someone to listen to her sorrows because of how much she had to drink,
but now she was coming to believe that there was something about the other girl that made her
feel... comfortable? Yes, that's probably it.

"Maybe you could start by brewing me a cup of coffee? I mean, I believe I gave you a really good
time last night, so I think I deserve that, at least." Mina meant it as a joke, but Jeongyeon
immediately agreed. Ignoring the way her cheeks heated up at Mina's comment, Jeongyeon talked
her into staying and actually having a full breakfast.

"I'll let you know that it's quite a privilege to eat one of the famous Yoo family dishes, Myoui. My
dad's a chef, so he taught me only the very best."

"Oh, so you're saying that you usually kick the girls out of here before feeding them?" Mina
teased.

"Exactly. Except for the ones who get to witness an awkward situation with my ex. For those I
need to make up for it somehow." Jeongyeon played along as she took the chopped vegetables out
of the fridge.

"Then I am indeed lucky." She kept playing along.

"There's fresh coffee in the coffee maker, if you want some. Juice in the fridge. Cups and glasses in
the cupboard and tea bags in the top drawer if you're a tea kind of girl. You look like one."

"Just coffee's fine." Mina opened the cupboard. Sorted it out until she found a mug with a shark
drawing which belonged to Momo. "So, do you want to talk about it now?"
"The truth is that I'm really not used to that kind of thing." Jeongyeon shyly admitted as she
seasoned the freshly broken eggs. "So yeah, congratulations. You were my first."

"Your... first?" Mina almost choked on her coffee. "You didn't seem inexperienced when you-"

"Hookup! I mean... whatever this is!" Jeongyeon quickly clarified. She almost burned her hand on
the pan handle in the process, but managed to reverse the situation at the last second. "I- we... shit,
me and Nayeon. We dated for like, half of high school. We broke up a little over a year ago, but
since then I've never felt like doing anything more than kissing other people. Well, at least until
last night."

"Yeah, I bet it was pretty hard to resist me with all of that ugly crying and the whole exes talk,
that's my charm." Mina deadpanned and Jeongyeon was grateful that she had her back turned to
her. Still, Mina could see the way that the older girl's neck and ears were flushed from this talk.
She laughed quietly so as not to make Jeongyeon even more embarrassed and went back to the
other side of the countertop with a mug full of coffee in her hands. "But hey, if it helps, it's not like
I'm an expert on causal sex. You already know what happened last time."

"That definitely helps, thank you."

"But it's not my first either, so that already makes me your senior." Mina teased again and
Jeongyeon laughed without taking her eyes off the pan.

"Then I'll make sure to follow all of your teachings then, sunbaenim." She stressed, sarcasm
dripping from her lips.

"You really think you are funny, aren't you?" Mina bit back.

"That's what I keep telling everyone, but no one believes me." Jeongyeon took the two plates and
her coffee, sitting back on the same bar stool. The two of them ignored the existence of the kitchen
table and chose to settle themselves on the countertop. "Voila. Enjoy."

Jeongyeon waited for Mina to dig in. She had always liked to watch people's reaction when they
eat something she cooked. It was a habit her dad passed on to her and she could never let go of.
Nor did she want to.

Mina blew it a bit to cool it down before popping the food into her mouth. Something that sounded
much more like a groan escaped her lips as she kept eating with an expression that Jeongyeon knew
all too well. Pleasure.

"That's-" She brought one of her hands to cover her mouth while Jeongyeon had a smug smile on
her face. "That's so, so good!"

"So I've heard." Jeongyeon winked at her before eating her own food.

"Are you sure your dad's the real chef?"

"Yeah, but I'm his soul chef when I'm at home, so I like to believe that I'm almost as good as he
is." Jeongyeon was obviously lying, but Mina didn't need to know that.

"Seriously, how can this be so good? It's just eggs and vegetables, with all due respect."

"It's not just eggs and vegetables, it's a special Yoo family breakfast. Anything made by the Yoo
family is different. You better get used to it." Jeongyeon smiled.
"Then I hope I can try some more of the Yoo menu so I can vouch for that."

"Yeah, maybe you will." Jeongyeon replied with her best flirtatious look and red warning lights
started flashing inside her head right away.

Once again Jeongyeon felt as if something was off even though there was nothing wrong with
enjoying Mina's company. It had been a while since Jeongyeon had felt so comfortable with
someone new like that. Not even with Dahyun, whom she had known for longer, did she feel so
carefree. But Dahyun was her roommate's girlfriend, and Mina was... well, Mina.

Jeongyeon had her fair share of flings for the past months. Not only the push and pull with Yves,
but also some more serious affairs that led to some not so innocent make out sessions at some
parties, but nothing beyond that. Nothing she'd want to pursue or even remember on the next day.
Nothing that would make her feel guilty like this did. But why would she feel like that? She had
absolutely nothing to feel guilty about.

But with Mina, in the span of less than twelve hours that they had been together, all she's seen in
her was someone really nice and easy to like. Mina listened to her and at least tried to understand
her as well. Mina even helped her, going where no one else had gone before. And even if only for a
couple of hours, Mina made sure that Jeongyeon didn't miss Nayeon's touch so much.

But then again, that's exactly the problem: Nayeon.

She wasn't over Nayeon yet. As much as Jeongyeon liked to think otherwise, seeing her again only
proved that she still had a long way to go. And now, with her being back, Jeongyeon couldn't
decide if it would be easier or harder for her to move on.

Maybe it would be harder because she would have to see Nayeon more often. To look at the face
she had fallen in love with and hear the voice that still sounded like music to her ears. Shit, she
needed to get a grip soon.

But maybe that would just make the process of getting over her easier. Now that Jeongyeon could
direct all of her anger and frustration to the person who actually deserved it. Now that Jeongyeon
would see her around, back to the life they had chosen but couldn't enjoy together because of
Nayeon's choices. Yeah, it was all her fault.

Jeongyeon felt like she was braving an uncharted territory. She had never had an ex before Nayeon,
just like she had never had a girlfriend before her too, obviously. And as much as Nayeon had been
her ex-girlfriend for over a year now, she had never been there before so Jeongyeon didn't know
what it was like to have someone who had dumped her around. But well, it looked like it was time
for her to find out.

Whether it's for better or for worse, the fact was that Im Nayeon was back. And riding along with
her, all of the emotional burden which Jeongyeon had been suppressing for the past year.

Yeah, good luck with that. Jeongyeon had a lot to work on.

"Mina..." Jeongyeon stared at her empty cup feeling suddenly shy. "I don't think I'm ready for
that."

Thoughtfully, Jeongyeon realized that she would like to have Mina in her life at any other time. In
any other way. Maybe if Nayeon hadn't come back now, Jeongyeon might have tried and given
them a chance. However, in her current situation, Jeongyeon knew better than to pull this nice,
innocent girl into the hurricane that she knew her life was about to become. That is, at least until
she got over Nayeon once and for all.

"What do you mean?" Mina absently replied. She looked cute, finishing her coffee and humming a
song after she finished her food.

"Us, I guess? I mean, it's not you, it's me..." Jeongyeon really was very, very bad at these things.

Mina broke into laughter and Jeongyeon frowned, confused. She knew she was bad, but was she
bad enough to cause that kind of reaction?

"Sorry. I'm sorry, it's just-" Mina kept giggling softly. "You're cute."

"Cute?"

"Yeah, all nervous and all." The japanese girl managed to stop laughing long enough to strike a
conversation. "Look, I don't want to sound rude, but as your casual dating teacher I have to tell you
this: you need to relax."

"What?"

"I'm not asking you out on a date, Jeongyeon."

The older girl tilted her head to the side, looking even more confused. "But you said you wanted
to-"

"What I meant was that I hoped we could be friends. You kind of promised me something along
these lines." Mina smiled fondly and held Jeongyeon's hand over the countertop, just as Jeongyeon
had done to her on the balcony the night before.

"Oh." That's all Jeongyeon managed to utter. Needless to say it again, but she was terrible at that
kind of stuff.

"Don't get me wrong, but I know you have a lot of stuff to figure it out with your ex. So in that
case, romantically, I want to keep my distance." She recalled and nodded at the direction Nayeon
had left to make her point. "And I have my own issues to deal with too, you already know that
since I practically threw them all over you last night."

"Yeah, you really need to work on that." Jeongyeon deadpanned and Mina rolled her eyes,
muttering something under her breath that sounded like a "you're not much better."

"Anyways, we can be friends if you still want to." Mina concluded. "It's just that you… you're not
like the people I usually... well, you know."

"I'd say the same, but I don't really have anything else to compare to." Jeongyeon noticed that the
other girl was embarrassed and tried to help, but she ended up blushing as well.

"You were easy to talk to. I can't put my finger on why, but yeah. That's it." Mina made a face as if
she was just now realizing that, then she got all shy again.

"I feel the same way. It's kind of weird how much you made me talk since yesterday, I'm not
usually like that." Jeongyeon also furrowed in thought. "Okay, so, friends?"

"Only if you cook for your friends often. If you don't, we'll be acquaintances at most. I'll even cross
the street when I see you around campus." Mina threatened, but the big grin on her face betrayed
her words.
They fell into rhythm and Mina left about twenty minutes before Momo came back home late that
afternoon. Mina and Jeongyeon had discovered yet another passion in common: gaming. So they
spent a good part of the day hanging out together in front of the big screen in the living room.
Naturally, Mina had to go back to her own place at some point, but Jeongyeon was still playing
when Momo came home bringing Dahyun with her, as usual. Both of them had curious looks on
their faces as they watched Jeongyeon carefully.

They knew. Of course they knew. Momo was one of Nayeon's best friends, after all. She always
knew that the pair kept in touch after Nayeon left, so of course she would know. And so did
Dahyun, naturally, because Momo couldn't keep a secret from her to save her life.

The joystick which Mina had been using was now sitting on the coffee table next to a bowl of
popcorn kernels. The TV volume was purposely louder than normal because Jeongyeon hoped the
noise would keep her from thinking about the chaos her days were about to become. Without Mina
there to distract her, she was afraid of what might go through her empty mind.

"Are you guys gonna say something or just keep staring at me like I'm a zoo attraction?"
Jeongyeon grumpily grumbled without taking her eyes off the screen.

"Sorry." Dahyun spoke up. "Are you okay?" She asked after pushing Momo into the couch and
snuggling into her lap.

"Mhm, so you know too?" Jeongyeon wanted to make sure.

Dahyun wasn't a part of the group when the whole drama between Jeongyeon and Nayeon broke
out. She wasn't even in college, actually. The younger girl only arrived the year before and
conquered not only a starting position on the team, but also Momo's heart.

"Shit." Momo muttered under her breath. "I'm sorry, Jeong. She already had some idea of what had
happened because when she joined the team you were... well, you know." She chose her words
carefully. "But then we were placed into the damage control team, so I had to tell Dahyun
everything because-"

"Wait, wait. Hold on." Jeongyeon paused the game and finally looked at the girls cuddled on the
other couch. "Damage control team? What the hell does that mean?"

The couple exchanged a meaningful look before Momo answered as if it was obvious. "Nayeon is
back."

"So what?"

"So what that since you're going to be compelled to spend time together because of the team, we
thought that maybe-"

"Because of the team??" Jeongyeon rose to her feet.

She was angry now, that's the truth. She felt as if they're only throwing partial and incomplete
information at her, bit by bit, expecting her to eventually put it all together like a puzzle. First
Nayeon said she was going home, whatever the fuck that meant to her; then she revealed that she
would be back to Yonsei permanently; and now she was back on the team? Why the hell couldn't
she just say it all at once?

"Yeah, I thought she'd have told you that by now. I supposed that's why she wanted to see you."

"Well, she didn't." Jeongyeon remembered how hesitant Nayeon seemed earlier. Did she really
want to tell and couldn't, or that thought didn't even cross her mind?

"Coach will make the announcement tomorrow at practice. We only know about it because Jihyo
found out earlier and told us yesterday so we could be prepared..."

Oh, great. So Jihyo had gotten the news earlier and told everyone else before telling Jeongyeon,
who was supposed to be her best friend? Nayeon had barely been back for a day and she's already
taking Jihyo away from her, how wonderful!

She tried to ignore the lump in her throat and the urge to cry that bothered her not for the first time
today. Jeongyeon fell back on the couch and turned her attention back to the flat screen after
switching the game back on.

"Nice! Isn't that just wonderful?" Sarcasm was dripping out of her voice. "How the hell can they
just accept her back so easily after the way she left? Are we Yonsei's team or Nayeon's team,
anyway? She was gone for over a year, for fuck's sake, the faculty should've some fucking self-
respect."

Jeongyeon let her bitterness speak louder, but deep down she knew that the team could really use
Nayeon's skills. Yonsei had a great defensive crew, but their front line had been lacking lately.

No offense to Dahyun, of course, the poor girl had also fallen under the curse that seemed to haunt
the rookies forwards of the team. In the last few years, all the outstanding offensive players had
suffered from bad injuries before or during the playoffs, including Nayeon herself on her first and
only season playing for Yonsei, two years ago. That's exactly what made them lose their chances to
win the championship last year and the year before as well.

"Look, I know I don't really know her that well, but if she really is the Im Nayeon I've heard about,
we could really use her skills. Her high school record is almost perfect, she averaged a goal per
game and her assistant stats are like, mind blowing-"

The frustrated sigh Jeongyeon let slip out of her throat when her character died on the screen
interrupted Dahyun's ramble. Game over. It was either that or the hand Momo had placed over her
girlfriend's mouth.

Yes, Dahyun, she's perfect. For the team. I know.

You don't have to tell me, I've seen what she can do with my own eyes.

I was there.

"Whatever." Jeongyeon threw the controller over the coffee table and turned off the console
without even saving her progress. Then she walked toward her bedroom without looking back.
"There won't be any need for that damage control team or whatever you guys call this little club of
yours. The damage has already been done. It's irreversible."

"Jeongyeon, wait up!" Momo called out as she gently pulled Dahyun off her lap to follow her
friend. "If you don't think you're gonna be okay with it we could always vote her out of the team.
Or we can sort it out with Coach Bae without getting you involved." Jeongyeon didn't look back,
she just kept walking. "Actually, I don't even think that it'd be necessary. If we just talk to Nayeon
I'm pretty sure she'll understand. She's not that insensitive, after all."

Wasn't she? Jeongyeon chose not to answer.

"We've already talked about it anyway. Me, Sana and Jihyo, I mean. You're our priority, one word
from you and we-"

"Momo, no." Jeongyeon stopped right at her bedroom door, turning around to interrupt her flatmate
while Dahyun watched them quietly, still settled on the couch.

While she was happy to have her friends' support - the three of them being the only people on the
team who actually knew the whole story, since the rest of the girls were either not on the team back
then or weren't close enough to know the details - she also felt a little awkward knowing that they
were talking about her behind her back, even if they had the best intentions.

And the fucking if you don't think you're gonna be okay with it? What the hell that's supposed to
mean? They don't think Jeongyeon can be near a person who she once loved so much that she gave
her heart on a silver platter for her to break? No. She could do this. She was stronger than that.
Nayeon was just an ex and people coexist with their exes all the time, what's the big deal?

"I appreciate everything you guys are doing for me but this won't be necessary."

"You sure?" The genuine concern on Momo's voice was almost the last straw to make Jeongyeon
break right there.

It meant even more coming from Momo because she was Nayeon's friend first before she even got
closer to Jeongyeon. Unlike Jihyo, for example, who had been by Jeongyeon's side since they were
children.

"Yes, I am." She emphasized her words with a nod. "I can't say that I'm over everything that
happened between us because the way things ended still leaves a bad taste in my mouth, to be
honest." Jeongyeon admitted firmly and mustered all the strength she had in her body for the next
sentence. "But I'm over her." Maybe if she repeated it enough, that would eventually become true.
"I'm over her and now I have to get over the whole situation. All I have to do is get used to her
presence again and everything's gonna be fine."

Momo stared at her for a few seconds before shaking her head. She seemed unsure whether she
believed her or not, but thankfully she chose not to push it.

"Look, if she's not on the team, she's still gonna be at Yonsei anyway. I'm going to be seeing her
around one way or another. We can't afford to miss our best shot at the title just because I fell in
love with the wrong person in the past." Jeongyeon could feel those words twisting in her guts. If
she kept saying that over and over again, she would probably end up believing it. Fake it until you
make it, she kept telling herself.

"Okay." Momo launched herself at her without any warning, hugging Jeongyeon tightly for way
longer than a normal hug should last even by Momo's standards. "You can count on us, okay?
Don't you dare forget it."

"I know." Jeongyeon nodded, returning the hug just as tightly. "Now go back to your girlfriend
before I kick your ass for talking about me behind my back."

"Alright, guys, now that the sentimental moment is over, could someone please tell me whose bra
is that under the couch?" Upon hearing Dahyun's question, Momo let go of Jeongyeon and quickly
turned her head around just like an owl.

"What?!" Momo rushed back into the living room and Jeongyeon couldn't help but trail behind her.

For a couple of seconds Jeongyeon was just as confused as the other two and her gaze followed the
direction her roommate's girlfriend was pointing to. However, as soon as she caught sight of the
piece, it immediately hit her. She had a flashback of the previous night, where she and Mina started
to get at it on the couch before going to the bedroom and- goddamnit. A wide-eyed Jeongyeon
blushed furiously in embarrassment.

"It's probably from one of the girls Momo has been bringing here over the week." She tried to make
a run to her bedroom, but Momo held her arm, keeping her still.

"Really, dude? That's how you're gonna play?" Momo frowned in disapproval. "It's not like we
don't know that you finally got some. We just want to know her name."

"You really should keep an eye on your girlfriend, Dahyun, she's back to her old ways." She just
added as if Momo hadn't said anything. "I'd even dare to say that she's almost as bad as Sana. You
know, they're the reason why Santa keeps a naugthy list."

"Don't worry, Jeongyeon, I can assure you that I keep Momo busy enough with me." Dahyun
replied with confidence and an amused smile on her face, earning an approval kiss from her
girlfriend. Jeongyeon cringed but took advantage of the distraction to finally set herself free from
the hold Momo had on her arm.

"There's such a thing called TMI, did you know that? That's one of them." The older one massaged
her arm which was hurting a little because of Momo's grip.

"Your latest conquest's undergarments should also be one of those things, don't you think?" Momo
shot back.

"You know what? Have a good night! And try to keep it down, will you? I'm going to bed."
Jeongyeon flushed even deeper and turned her back to the couple, making her way to her bedroom.

"No promises."

"But it's only five o'clock." Dahyun briefly informed after taking a quick glance at her phone.

"I said what I said." That's the last thing Jeongyeon said before slamming the door behind her. She
heard some more teasing and giggling from the other side, but soon she muffled the noise with her
headphones on full blast.

Jeongyeon tried her best not to think about Nayeon, but she knew it was a losing battle. She
couldn't stop replaying their whole interaction in her mind from the moment she put her head on the
pillow.

Earlier, when Nayeon was there, Jeongyeon couldn't really pay attention to everything, but now she
had time to absorb the details more thoroughly. The changes certainly went way beyond just the
new haircut.

She remembered the dark circles under Nayeon's eyes and the way she looked at her as if
Jeongyeon was about to burst in flames at any second. How her voice sounded atypically quieter
compared to her normal chirpy self and the fact that she actually looked uncharacteristically small,
maybe paler, too? It could just be her imagination, actually. Jeongyeon assumed that she herself
also must have looked somewhat paler after that shock.

But more than anything, though, Jeongyeon couldn't help but think about how everything about
Nayeon seemed at the same time different, but also incredibly familiar.

Because while it seemed like an eternity ago, it also felt like it was yesterday that Nayeon had
come into her life. They were only twelve when the chatty girl with the pretty bunny smile was
 placed as Jeongyeon and Jihyo's project partner since she had been transferred halfway through the
school year, thereby being left without a regular partner. But next thing she knew was that the
same "new" girl was back, months after leaving her behind without even a proper goodbye.

Jeongyeon had no hard feelings for Nayeon for leaving, nor for breaking up with her for that
matter. Nayeon was only seeking what's best for her and Jeongyeon was always the first to
encourage her to always do that. What hurt - and deep down she knew it would always sting - was
the way she chose to walk away from everything. Jeongyeon thought she deserved better, but
apparently Nayeon had a different take on it.

But there was nothing she could do about it now, the past couldn't be changed and all she had to do
was move on.

Either way, the point was that in the midst of it all Jeongyeon was feeling lost. She didn't know
what was going to happen and being the control freak everybody knew she was, she wasn't excited
about the surprises that might come next.

It wasn't as if she thought she would never see Nayeon again after she left. She hoped to meet her
again eventually. Almost longed for it, in fact.

But Jeongyeon always believed that when the time came, this reunion would be something much
more casual. It could be bumping into each other by accident back in their hometown, in one of the
coffee shops they liked to go together before they moved to Seoul. Maybe over summer vacation or
even years after graduation, who knows. But not in a million years did Jeongyeon expect that
Nayeon would end up coming back to he-, no. Back to the life she left behind. Yonsei and the
team. That's it.

But yet there she was. Back home.

This situation had the potential to either drive Jeongyeon crazy or to be exactly what she needed to
get over Nayeon once and for all. To finally have the closure she deserved.

Either way, Jeongyeon did her best to brace herself. Whatever was going to happen next, she knew
that's going to be a long ride.

Chapter End Notes

it won't be all angst, alright? i promised fluff i'll deliver fluff soon! just bear with me
for a little longer
 whatever
Chapter Summary

It was odd, yeah, there was no denying it. It was weird to have Nayeon back like that,
all of a sudden. It was even more awkward because even if they had exchanged
nothing more than a few words for a few minutes since the day before, still, there was
Jeongyeon, staring at her ex and wondering what was going on inside her head.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The very next morning, Jeongyeon left for practice extra early, escorted by Momo and Dahyun.
She wasn't really in the mood for chatting, so she seized the fact that they were the first to arrive
and went to warm up by herself near her favorite goal.

Jeongyeon always loved being a goalkeeper, she had never played nor wanted to play in any other
position. She had good height, great reflexes and all the other skills one needed to be good at the
job. She always felt like it was her calling, and she liked to think that she could have gone pro if
that mishap hadn't happened.

She was only an eleven years old kid riding her bike home from school when a careless driver ran a
red light and accidentally hit her. It could've been worse, she thought nowadays, but it still haunted
her anyway. There were a few scratches and a fractured rib, but she also fractured her left foot in
the accident. But the worst part was that her recovery treatment was done by a wholly unqualified
professional who made damage even worse in the long run.

Jeongyeon only found out about it when she got older and started playing some more serious
tournaments. More exactly when she broke the same foot again at the age of sixteen, while playing
a match. The doctor who treated her the second time around explained that the first injury wasn't
taken care of properly and the second one only made the situation worse. So because of that she
was prone to that kind of injury for the rest of her life. She could still play, he warned, but he didn't
see a future where she would withstand a high-performance routine for years in a row.

Obviously, that was pretty tough news for her at such a young age. She was devastated and relied
on her family and friends to get through it. She and Nayeon had just started dating at that time, and
the support she got from her then best friend was also crucial for her to make her next decision.

It was awful, of course, but Jeongyeon didn't let her dream end there. She kept playing, respecting
her limitations and she was still good enough to be a starter on the university's team. The coach
staff and her teammates all knew about her condition, so no one was surprised when she was
benched for a game or two to catch a break from their heretic season schedule. She would've to
take a break after college, she was well aware of that. Become at very most a weekend warrior
since she knew she could never let go of her love for soccer altogether. But she still wanted to live
the dream while she still could.

And that's exactly why Jeongyeon had chosen Sports Therapy as her major. She wanted to do for
others what her own attendant didn't do for her in the past. Jeongyeon dreamed of getting her
master degree so she could work as close as possible from the sport she loved since she wouldn't be
able to play at a professional level as she had wanted to since she was a child.

As a goalkeeper, the privileged view of the field was one of her favorite things about the position.
On this particular morning it was even better because she didn't want to be caught by surprise by
the appearance of a certain person, so she kept an eye on the field's entrance, the place near the
bench where her teammates were slowly arriving. They'd always sat on the grass as they put on
their cleats and talked about the weekend's events. Meanwhile, Jeongyeon stood there, apart from
everyone, warming up. Just her and the goal. Quietly and peacefully, just how she liked it.

Such peace, however, didn't last long. Way sooner than she would've liked, Jeongyeon saw a small
girl with big eyes running towards her at full speed.

"Jeongyeon!" She called out as soon as she set her eyes on her. Jihyo knew exactly where she
would be.

Jeongyeon had been ignoring all of her best friend's texts and calls since the day before. She
suspected that Jihyo was the one who snitched out her address since the younger girl also happened
to be her ex-girlfriend's best friend as well.

Besides, Jihyo had also told basically the whole team about Nayeon's return - okay, maybe she was
exaggerating a little bit, but still - instead of telling her first. So Jeongyeon just kept ignoring her as
she continued to warm up. Not everyone had arrived yet. Neither had she.

"Hey, come on. Are you really going to give me the silent treatment? I need to know how you're
doing."

"How am I doing? Really? Did you think about how I was doing when you sent your best friend
over to my place yesterday?" She turned her back on the younger girl and mentally counted to ten.
Not only to keep her warm-up going, but also not to use harsh words against Jihyo.

"First of all, you're my best friend too! We've been over this already, Jeong, don't pull that one on
me." Jihyo tried to get into her sight but Jeongyeon just turned the other way like a child throwing
a tantrum.

"Oh, am I? Really?"

"Secondly," Jihyo ignored her jab. "I didn't send anyone anywhere. Nayeon pretty much snatched
the information out of Momo at the party. But Momo was drunk, okay? Don't be mad at her."

"Nayeon was at the party?" That caught Jeongyeon's attention but she kept warming up normally.
She glanced over at Momo and found the girl hovering around Dahyun's neck, enjoying their last
moments of mingling before Coach Bae arrived. She made a mental note to throw a ball at her
later.

"You had already left when she arrived."

"And how did she know about the party?"

"I..." Jihyo lowered her voice in her acquainted guilty tone. "I told her."

"Thanks for letting me know, best friend." Jeongyeon shot back once again.

"I couldn't say anything, Jeongyeon. I promised her that I would let her tell you herself." Okay, so
now Jihyo was back to promising things to Nayeon over her? Wasn't that just great!?
"You know what? Whatever." Jeongyeon shrugged. She was already feeling drained from that
conversation alone and on top of that she still needed to get into the right mood for practice.

"I'm sorry." Jihyo tried but Jeongyeon didn't answer. She saw the coaching staff approaching and
started to walk toward her teammates so they could just start the fucking practice already. "Jeong,
wait!" Jihyo held her arm before she could take two steps in, moving fast and standing between the
goalkeeper and the rest of the team far behind her. "Listen to me, please."

Jeongyeon crossed her arms defensively and finally looked into her captain's eyes. She was pretty
upset at Jihyo, but that's the kind of thing she couldn't have at practice. So she waited and let her
talk in order to at least try to lessen some of the anger before they could work it out the right way.
With both Jihyo and Sana, since Jeongyeon had already had the talk with Momo. She needed all
three of them to drop that whole thing and stop acting like she was going to break down at any
second.

"It all happened too fast." Jihyo started. "I didn't know she would be back until three days ago and I
only found out because Coach Bae let it slip when we talked after Friday's practice. Nayeon hadn't
told either Momo or me. In fact, it had been a couple of weeks since we both had last spoken to
her."

"Right, but then as soon as you heard you rushed to tell Momo and Sana before telling me."

"No, first I confronted Nayeon about it. I called her and found out that she didn't tell me anything
because she really had no intention of letting me know before she was actually here. If I hadn't
heard about it from Coach Bae, she'd have taken me by surprise as well."

"And yet you still let her take me by surprise." Jeongyeon shifted her weight from one leg to the
other, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"She- no, ugh! Just listen: she said she didn't tell me before because she wanted to tell you first.
And after I found out she said she wanted to follow through with her original plan, which in this
case was to break the news to you herself."

So they wanted her to believe that Nayeon was planning to tell Jeongyeon before even talking to
Momo or Jihyo about it? It sounded even more unbelievable now that Jeongyeon knew that
everyone else found out before her.

"Yeah, sure." Jeongyeon scoffed.

"Be reasonable, Jeongyeon. She tried to do things the right way this time. She owed you at least
that much, so I just let her be."

"Whatever."

"Stop saying that!" Jihyo was starting to get frustrated. She hated it when Jeongyeon would keep
saying that because she knew she never meant it, only did that whenever she was mad. "Nayeon
kept calling me during the party, you know how annoying she can be. When I answered she told
me that she texted you but-"

"I didn't answer."

"Exactly. That's why I told her we were at the Beach House. And she went over right away because
she was going to be here today, so that was kind of the last chance she had to see you and explain
everything like she wanted to. Like I said, I guess she wanted to do things right."
"Yeah, sure." Jeongyeon sneered. "That's one way to put it."

"But by the time she arrived it was too late." Jihyo yet again ignored the goalkeeper's passive
aggressive comments. She did that a lot when it came to Jeongyeon since she knew very well that it
was just another of her best friend's defense mechanisms. "You had already gone home with
someone."

That kept Jeongyeon quiet for a few seconds. "And then what?"

"I told her that you had left and she all but bullied Momo into giving her her address since she
knows you live together. Nayeon would've gone the same night if I hadn't stopped her. You had
taken a girl home, for fuck's sake, I couldn't let her... well, you know." Jihyo cringed at the
thought.

"Did you tell her that?"

"Of course not. I just told her she should wait at least until the next morning to see if you would
answer her texts. It'd be weird if she ran into you with somebody else, wouldn't it? Both for her and
for you too, I guess. I know you don't owe her anything, but still."

"I appreciate your efforts but I'm sorry to let you know that it didn't work."

"What do you mean?"

"It wasn't even seven am yet when she came by knocking on my door. Mina- uh, the girl who went
home with me, she was still there."

"Oh, that sucks." That's all Jihyo said before she cast an inquisitive worried glance over her
shoulder, like she was looking for someone. That someone, who they both knew very well who it
was, apparently hadn't arrived yet. Punctuality had never been her strong suit.

"Yeah, but I understand what you mean. It really was weird." Even upset, Jeongyeon couldn't help
but open up to Jihyo.

"Did you guys talk?"

"Sort of. She told me she's back and that she thought I deserved to hear it from her. Pretty much the
same thing she told you."

"And that's all?" Jihyo looked at Jeongyeon in expectation.

"What else did you expect?"

"I..." The younger girl started but gave up and shook her head. "I don't know."

"She also said some bullshit about how she wished she didn't have to leave or something like that
before Mina interrupted us. But it doesn't matter, I don't care." Jeongyeon crossed her arms even
more tightly.

"Wait, she said she wished she stayed and you just don't care?" Jihyo frowned and crossed her arms
as well.

"Why should I care? Just think about it for a second! How bad it must have been for her at
Stanford for her to quit after only a year and come back here talking all of this nonsense? I bet she
only regretted it because something went terribly wrong for her over there. You're her friend, you
should know!" Jeongyeon finally blurted out everything she had been brooding about since the day
before. She could feel the tears building up at the corner of her eyes, but she did her best to push
them back. "Tell me, Jihyo. Tell me if I'm wrong."

That's why Nayeon was back, wasn't it? She left behind a safe place where she had a girlfriend who
loved her, friends who supported her, a college that valued her talent and a team who counted on
her and just went away, alone, to a country she had never set foot in before and things didn't work
out the way she thought they would. She wasn't sorry because she left, she's just bummed because
things didn't turn out the way she wanted them to.

"Jeongyeon..." There was something in Jihyo's eyes that she couldn't quite understand. After so
many years of friendship, it was a little scary to go through these moments where she couldn't read
what her best friend was thinking.

"You can't tell me, I know." She took the words out of her captain's mouth. Jeongyeon knew, she
was used to it by now. She couldn't even get mad about it because she knew that Jihyo would do
the same thing for her if it was the other way around. She had done it before, already. Safely kept
Jeongyeon's confessions and secrets away from Nayeon like the good friend she was. "Whatever, I
don't care. I just wanna move on."

"But can you?" There was no judgment or bite in Jihyo's words, it was just the purest and most
genuine concern.

"I will." She replied with a confidence that she knew it wasn't hers. "We won't become friends
overnight. Actually, we won't be friends at all, that's not something I want. We're going to be
teammates until we graduate and that's it. I can do this, Jihyo, trust me."

"I do." Jihyo nodded and briefly hugged Jeongyeon. "I'm here for you, okay? Always have, always
will."

"I know." Jeongyeon hugged her back as the sound of a whistle broke the moment. Practice was
about to start. "Hey, just one more thing." She released her friend but kept one of her hands over
her shoulder. "Please don't treat me like I'm going to break, alright? I can handle a lot of things, but
not you guys treating me differently because of her. That'll only make it worse."

"I know, I'll stop." Jihyo placed her own hand over Jeongyeon's and nodded. "I'm really, really
sorry. It's not that I don't trust you, I was just nervous about this whole thing."

"I know, it's fine."

"Alright then. Now let's get back there and forget about it, okay? We got an entire team to run."

"Aye aye, Captain." Jeongyeon teased as they walked hand in hand to where the group was
gathered in a large circle.

"Hugs are strictly limited to funerals and goal celebrations in official matches. I didn't see anyone
dying yet and this is only a training session, so don't let me see that kind of thing on my field again,
girls." Coach Bae stared down at the team's main defenders. The two of them immediately pulled
their hands away and nodded in agreement, trying to hold back their laugh.

"Funerals and goals...?" Chaeyoung cocked one of her eyebrows, thinking out loud. "What about
birthdays?"

"Did I stutter?" Bae dismissed her with a challenging gaze and the younger girl shut up right away.
Deep down they all knew their coach was just messing around… or not. Coach Bae did have a
reputation of running her team like the navy.

Jeongyeon knew Nayeon was there already. She caught the older girl's presence out of the corner
of her eyes, but refused to acknowledge her. Still, the goalkeeper could feel the unmistakable thrill
of having her ex-girlfriend's gaze on her, following her around.

"You're all here, right? Right." She didn't wait for an answer. "I see that you girls enjoyed the
weekend's homecoming parties with all the moderation I asked for." Bae said, giving the girls an
once over as she checked the clipboard in her hands. "Except you, Kim Two, you look like shit.
What's wrong with you?" She completed pointing a pen at Yerim with a look that could be either
pity or disgust, no one could really tell.

Coach Bae had been calling Dahyun by Kim One and Yerim by Kim Two since the year before
when they both joined the team because the two of them shared the same family name. Which
obviously led the rest of the team to refer to the two starters who handled the right wing of the field
as Thing One and Thing Two. It was funny for everyone except for them.

Recently, whenever Coach Bae was displeased with Jihyo, which by the way rarely happened,
she'd also refer to the pair of center-backs - Joy and Jihyo - as Park One and Park Two, instead of
calling Jihyo captain like the whole team. Regardless, no one dared to make the Thing Joke with
them.

"Told ya." Jeongyeon muttered under her breath, glancing at Yerim and remembering the Saturday
night's event when she advised the younger one that she should take it easy over the weekend.

"There was an after-party yesterday and things got a little bit out of control. I'm really sorry, Coach,
it won't happen again, I promise." The right-back tried to stand straighter so she would look a little
better.

"I sure hope not because if it does you'll have to do ten more laps around the field before the next
practice, too."

"Ten... more laps?" Yerim sounded confused. Jeongyeon knew it's because her brain was still too
slow to assimilate that that was an order.

"Are you complaining, Kim Two? Should I make it twenty? Or should I add some burpees?"

"No!" She finally got a grasp of what's going on. "I mean- no, please. But do you want me to, like,
do it now? Because I thought we were going to talk first, there are new people here and so I-"

"Go. You can catch up on today's announcements with your friends later."

"Damn it! I mean, yes ma'am. I'm going!" Yerim took off immediately, uttering a few low curses
under her breath. Everyone pretended not to listen just as they also pretended not to see the slightest
hint of a smile on Coach Bae's face. Creepy, Jeongyeon would say, that woman was a puzzle.

"Anyway, as you've probably noticed, in addition to the presentations from earlier this month, we
also have another addition to the team this season." Bae mentioned the "newbie" and everyone
looked at her.

Jeongyeon also gave in and finally glanced at Nayeon, catching the other girl already eyeing her
from afar. The goalkeeper put on her best indifference facade and Nayeon shook her head, blinking
a few times and feeling ashamed for being caught.
"Yeah, that's right. Hi, I'm Im Nayeon." She looked around and introduced herself in an atypical
shy fashion, which made Jeongyeon frown.

"We know who you are." Dahyun answered cheerfully.

"Most of you are already familiar with her, of course." Coach Bae ignored Dahyun and carried on.
"Either because you've played with or against her before, or because of the reputation that precedes
her. Either way, welcome back, Im."

"Thank you, Coach." Nayeon flashed her a tight-lipped smile.

Jeongyeon noticed from her peripheral vision that Sana was sharing worried glances between her
and Nayeon. Although she had already managed to soothe both Momo and Jihyo, she still had to
handle Sana.

"She'll be joining the coaching staff starting today and hopefully she'll stay until the end of next
year. That is, if she has no plans on leaving again, of course." Coach Bae's tone had almost as
much spite as Jeongyeon would have, so the goalkeeper couldn't help but chuckle a little at that
comment. At least someone else there shared the same opinion as her on that matter.

"No, Coach, I'm not going anywhere." Nayeon bit her lower lip after she stated with her best smile.

"Wait, did you just say coaching staff?" Dahyun asked, baffled.

Wait, what? Coaching staff? Murmurs of confusion were heard all around the circle. Just like
Jeongyeon, the rest of the group hadn't paid enough attention to that part either.

"Yes, Kim One, that's exactly what I said." Coach Bae plainly replied.

"But she's one of the best strikers in the State. Why wouldn't she play?" Tzuyu asked unsurely,
letting her presence be noticed for the first time. She was also a forward, but on top of that she was
also a rookie, so it made sense that she'd feel a little threatened by Nayeon's sudden appearance.

"May I, Coach?" Nayeon stepped in, asking permission to explain. She seemed to have recovered
from the sudden shyness and was back to her extra and outgoing personality.

"Go ahead." Bae flatly nodded.

Jeongyeon cast Jihyo a questioning look but the captain just shrugged, letting her know that she
was just as confused as the rest. Why on earth wouldn't Nayeon play? It didn't make any sense.

"I don't play anymore." Nayeon announced, taking a step forward. The statement was followed by
gasps of surprise from almost everyone around. Jeongyeon frowned even deeper and crossed her
arms, shifting uncomfortably. "I got injured. The kind of injury that ends one's career, you know? It
sucks, but what can I do? It happened, it's over."

Nayeon dropped that bombshell with such a nonchalant tone that she made it sound like she was
just reading the weather forecast in a newspaper, and not announcing that her biggest dream had
come to an end.

Jeongyeon wished she didn't care, but she knew how important it was to Nayeon. She felt even
worse because she knew exactly what it was like to be in her place. She knew from experience the
extent of the pain Nayeon must be feeling behind that lighthearted smile she's trying to display for
the show.
It's the same smile Nayeon used whenever she talked about how she didn't care about her mother's
absence when they were younger, Jeongyeon remembered. To pretend that she didn't care about
something that hurt her deeply.

That's on her. If she hadn't left it probably wouldn't have happened. Jeongyeon told herself that, but
it only made her feel even worse. What kind of person was she?

"What happened?" At last Sana hesitantly asked. Her voice could hardly be heard amidst the loud
whispers around.

"It doesn't matter anymore." Nayeon replied softly in a rather melancholy tone, then she
immediately flashed Sana a reassuring smile so as not to come off as rude. "I still can play,
actually, but not like I did before. So if I can't do my best I'd rather not play at all, you know? For
me it's a matter of both pride and conscience."

"So what exactly is your role here?" Jeongyeon's voice surprised even herself.

All eyes turned to her. The worried ones, from her friends; the oblivious ones, from people who
didn't know their story; the curious ones, from those who simply shared the same doubt as her and
were glad someone had asked; and the surprised ones, from Nayeon. She seemed genuinely
shocked that Jeongyeon had actually spoken to her.

"I'm here to help you guys with your training. And also to graduate, of course." Nayeon quickly
schooled her features, changing from surprise to the best smile she could master. Said her next
words carefully avoiding Jeongyeon's gaze. "I changed my major to Sports Management, so I'm the
newest and dearest intern of our brilliant Coach Bae over here." She pointed at the older woman
who had an annoyed expression on her face.

"You're also the only one. Don't push your luck." Bae replied, shaking her head.

"I know you guys could use some help with your offensive skills." Nayeon carried on with her
explanation, missing - or ignoring - the way the coach let out a tired sigh. "No offense, I know you
guys are good. Great defense and a creative midfield, but the fact that you're lacking on your
finishing accuracy is what cost you the title last year, I did my research." She positioned herself
between Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, placing a hand on each of their shoulders in what appeared to be
an attempt of a hug. "But after last year's mess and with this year's renewal, we have the only
offensive squad in the league that's entirely made up of rookies. No juniors or seniors to lead and
pass on some confidence and experience. No one else but me, of course! So you can consider me
your new finishing assistant or whatever."

Nayeon was right, as much as Jeongyeon hated to admit it. Since she, Nayeon and Jihyo arrived
three years ago, Yonsei's biggest concern had been the offense.

In their freshman year Nayeon was the team's most promising player, but she suffered a knee injury
during practice weeks before their playoffs. Unfortunately, it ruled her out for the rest of the
season.

She was even sent to a professional recovery center in Busan as a last resort so she could get better
faster, but they still weren't able to get her back in time. Yonsei's team fell in the semifinals over a
penalty shootout where Jeongyeon managed to save two shots, but the team still lost three of theirs.
It was heartbreaking, really.

But she did have a great season before that, and by that time Nayeon went to Busan she had already
gotten an offer for a full soccer scholarship to Stanford, which Jeongyeon believed was what
started all the drama between the two of them. She knew Nayeon was conflicted about whether or
not she should go, she also knew she herself was one of the reasons behind it. They were already
having a hard time balancing everything since they got into Yonsei, but after that their relationship
started to become more and more troubled.

Add that to the stress of their first year of college, the need to fulfill their academic obligations and
the frustration after losing the championship, it all led them to a huge fight - the biggest one and
also their last - which ultimately culminated in Nayeon ending their relationship a few days later.
And also literally running away to another country without even a proper goodbye.

Jeongyeon could never be upset with Nayeon for choosing Stanford. It's the right thing to do, that
wasn't the problem at all. Jeongyeon was the one who encouraged her to go even though Nayeon
protested against it for weeks. They argued and argued again about it, and Nayeon even set her
foot down saying that she would stay. But it wasn't long before everything changed. Jeongyeon
didn't know what, but something most certainly did.

Back then, Jeongyeon had everything planned. She figured they could keep a long-distance
relationship while Nayeon was away. She thought that they could at least try for a while to see if it
would work out since that had already been an option when they almost didn't get into the same
college. Worst case scenario, Jeongyeon thought, if Nayeon really wasn't willing to go through all
of that trouble, the least she could do was give their two years relationship a proper closure. An
honest face-to-face goodbye, a decent break up. Jeongyeon would still be heartbroken, of course,
but there was a right way to do it and Nayeon didn't.

Instead, Nayeon took advantage of the fact that she had taken a week off to visit her dad back in
their hometown right after their big fight and she just left. Went away. No warning, no goodbye.
All she left behind was a breakup letter.

Letter which Jeongyeon still kept in her last drawer along with other things related to Nayeon that
she never managed to throw away; letter which was already crumpled and stained with tears
because of how many times Jeongyeon had read it and broke down over it; letter which had
become just another obsolete piece of paper since Jeongyeon had already memorized every single
word written in there; letter which she only kept because she still needed it. But what did she need
it for? It also beats her why.

But back to business, after Nayeon left, Jeongyeon's sophomore year at Yonsei wasn't very good
for them either.

Dahyun had just joined the team and she played incredibly well throughout the regular season.
Everyone had big hopes for that year, but right before the first round of the playoffs, their top
scoring player also got injured just like the year before. The curse that had been haunting Yonsei's
soccer team had struck once again.

All the other strikers, although theoretically more experienced athletes since they're all seniors,
couldn't handle the pressure and ended up lacking badly on the field. They were knocked out in the
quarterfinals even though Jeongyeon tried hard and managed to save a penalty kick in the first half.
The team still conceded two goals and were unable to recover after that.

Also, in that particular match, Jihyo wasn't playing because she had to sit out due to stupid
suspension she had to serve. The worst part was that it wasn't even a soccer related suspension, it
was just because one of the players from the volleyball team stirred up some trouble and got Jihyo
involved as well. That still bothered Jeongyeon a lot, but she just added that one to the list of things
from the past she hated but couldn't change.
But because she was familiar with Nayeon's qualifications and skills when it came to soccer,
Jeongyeon knew that she would be a good addition to the team even if only from the sidelines. And
so did the rest of the team, since they nodded and uttered some understanding hums.

"So, anyways, you guys can call me coach." Nayeon playful added, squeezing the younger girls
even tighter and flashing a smile at Dahyun and the other offensive players around the circle.

"No, they can not." Coach Bae interrupted, glaring at Nayeon. That didn't wipe the smile off the
intern's face and Jeongyeon already knew that watching the interactions between this duo would be
a very amusing experience if Nayeon in fact did stay. "Anyway, we're done now. Today's training
will be conditioning work only. Captain, you can take your team to the field and get started with
the warm-ups. I'll be there in a minute."

"You got it, Coach." Jihyo nodded and ran off to the midfield being followed by her teammates.
Jeongyeon was about to follow her as well, but a hand on her shoulder stopped her before she could
move.

"You stay, Yoo." Coach Bae's voice made Jeongyeon's body stiff. Damn, this is going to be
awkward. "Hwang and the kids too, we're gonna talk."

What? Oh, well, so at least it wouldn't be about Nayeon.

"What's up, Coach?" Chaeyoung asked as she did standing run exercises to warm up. That kid was
a big ball of energy.

Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, the most likely starters for that season, plus Ryujin, Yuna,
Chaeryeong and a few others strikes stayed back and waited along with Jeongyeon and her backup
keeper, Yeji. And well, shit, Nayeon too.

"As you know, we still have some time before the regular season kicks off." The players were all
paying attention while Nayeon was playing with the clipboard Coach Bae had just handed her. "So
until then we're going to do a kind of intensive extra training for the offense crew. Every day after
practice, for an hour, Miss Im over here will be training you and helping you out with your
finishing techniques. Therefore, we'll need the goalkeepers as well, so Yoo and Hwang, you're also
in. Either way, it'll be good for all of you."

"Cool!"

"That's awesome."

Jeongyeon heard the rookies celebrating while all she could think about was how much of a torture
that would be.

"I'll announce later that the extra training session will be open if any other players want to
participate, but it's only mandatory for strikers and goalkeepers."

Great. Things just kept getting better and better. One more hour with Nayeon, for what? At least
three and sometimes even four or five times a week, depending on Coach's mood and the team's
progress? Just what Jeongyeon did not need.

After being dismissed from the brief meeting and taking her rightful place beside Jihyo in the
middle of the field, Jeongyeon began to wonder if she should take her friends up on their offer to
vote Nayeon out. Or just ask her to leave, honestly, anything would do. She was sure Jihyo would
figure out a way if she asked, but that idea was soon dismissed when she realized how selfish that
would be.
Nayeon couldn't even play anymore. That's her internship and probably the only way she found to
still be close to the sport she loved. Jeongyeon couldn't do that to her. Nor did she want to, actually.

Now, knowing about her injury, a little voice inside her head was bothering her again. Saying that
Nayeon was back for the exact same reasons she had told Jihyo earlier. Jeongyeon was sure
Nayeon only came back because something bad had happened at Stanford, and well, would you
look at that: congratulations, Jeongyeon, that's another point for you!

But for once in her life she really hated being right.

A funny feeling that felt a lot like sadness made its way to her chest as she thought about how hard
that must have been for Nayeon. She was so good, Nayeon had a bright professional future ahead
of her. She had been drafted by Stanford, for crying out loud. Nayeon was outstanding in every
single way.

What Jeongyeon felt wasn't exactly pity, but she couldn't put a name on it either. All she knew was
that she felt very sorry for the other girl. And for what would probably be the nth time she wished
things could be different again, but for a whole different reason this time.

She caught herself thinking about the exact same thing later, after almost everyone had already left
the field. Regular practice was over and Yeji was below the net waiting for the shots while
Jeongyeon was sitting by the goalpost, watching Nayeon instructing the kids as the ball was sitting
just outside the penalty area.

It was odd, yeah, there was no denying it. It was weird to have Nayeon back like that, all of a
sudden. It was even more awkward because even if they had exchanged nothing more than a few
words for a few minutes since the day before, still, there was Jeongyeon, staring at her ex and
wondering what was going on inside her head.

Wondering if that was as strange for Nayeon as it was for her. But then again, for that to happen
Nayeon would have to actually care about Jeongyeon's feelings, which she didn't. Or at least that's
what the younger one had been telling herself for the past year. It was easier to move on like that.

Jeongyeon just stood by Yeji's goal and watched her defending the shots for an entire hour. Coach
wasn't there anymore and Jeongyeon didn't feel like participating. In fact, she had never been so
eager to attend her afternoon classes as she was that day. All she wanted to do was to take a shower
and busy her head with whatever the professors were talking about to avoid the unwelcome
thoughts.

So when Nayeon finally announced the end of the extra practice, Jeongyeon already had her
backpack on and was walking briskly towards the field's exit. She wouldn't even pass by the locker
room, it'd be better and safer to just go straight home and take a shower there.

"Jeongyeon?" That voice made her wince. Her body shivered and she mentally cursed herself for it.
Jeongyeon closed her eyes for a moment but didn't stop, she kept strolling toward the exit.

She knew that sooner or later Nayeon would want to talk to her again, she just hoped it'd be much,
much later. She was wrong, though. Still, Jeongyeon just kept walking as if nothing had happened,
pretending she hadn't heard anything.

"Jeongyeon, wait up!" Fuck. Nayeon was almost by her side now. She looked a bit tired after
closing the distance between them with a jog and Jeongyeon slowed her pace for Nayeon to catch
up. She also hated how that had been an automatic reaction to seeing the other girl in trouble.
"Can- can we talk?"
"I thought we already talked yesterday?" It was more of a question than a statement.

"No- I mean, yes, we talked. But I have some other things I wanna talk about. Our conversation
was cut short by- well, you know." Jeongyeon couldn't tell if Nayeon really didn't remember
Mina's name or if she just didn't want to say it.

"Yeah." Jeongyeon halted. Her hands were nervously playing with the strap of her backpack.
"Okay, what else do you wanna talk about?"

"I..." Nayeon paused and waited for the rest of the girls who were approaching them to pass toward
the locker room. She cast them a warm smile and congratulated Tzuyu on something she had done
during practice, but Jeongyeon hadn't paid enough attention to notice. After they reached a safe
distance, she continued. "I want to apologize."

"Apologize?"

"Yes, for going to your place unannounced. I mean, I tried to let you know but you didn't give me
permission and I went there anyway." Nayeon clarified.

"Yeah, well." Jeongyeon remembered the still unread texts on her phone, all from Nayeon. "What's
done is done, I guess."

"And I'm sorry for disrupting whatever you had going on there." Nayeon fixed her gaze on
Jeongyeon's hands, which were still squeezing the straps of her backpack restlessly. "I didn't know
you had company. I wouldn't have showed up at your door if I did."

"Don't worry about it, you didn't disrupt anything." Jeongyeon knew what Nayeon's thinking, but
she didn't bother denying it. She even used a tone that was suggestive enough to keep her
wondering.

Nayeon's visit had in fact even helped on Jeongyeon and Mina's bonding. It made the morning after
with Mina way less awkward since the whole thing was almost comical. She and Mina were just
friends now, but Jeongyeon had no reason to tell Nayeon that.

"Okay." Nayeon was still avoiding her gaze. "And for everything else, I'm really sorry."

"Everything else?" Jeongyeon had a feeling she knew where that was going and she didn't know
whether she liked it or not.

"Yes, everything." Nayeon finally looked into Jeongyeon's eyes and although they had been in the
same position the day before, what happened there felt way more intimate. A shiver went through
Jeongyeon's body and something in Nayeon's eyes made her heart pound inside her chest. "For the
way I left, too."

"Oh." Jeongyeon took a step back as if she had been hit, rendered speechless.

"I- I know I fucked up, Jeong."

"Nayeon, don't even-"

"Listen to me, please." Nayeon's right hand reached for Jeongyeon's left one. The goalkeeper didn't
deflect or pull away. That warmth touch was still familiar and Jeongyeon missed it too much to
deny herself at least that much. But she had to look away nonetheless. Facing Nayeon with those
feelings all over the place was way too much for her to handle. "I really need to do this."
"I'm over it." Jeongyeon lied.

"Is that why you slammed the door in my face yesterday? Because you're over it?" Nayeon raised
her eyebrows.

"I was surprised, that's all."

"Are you sure? That's really all?"

"Yeah, that and the fact that you were my fucking ex-girlfriend knocking on my door at seven am
on a Sunday after a whole fucking year, Nayeon, for fuck's sake." Jeongyeon lost her cool and
pulled her hand away on the spur of the moment. Immediately regretted it, but anger was suddenly
boiling in her chest. "How the hell am I supposed to react to that? Can't I not want to talk to the
person who left me?"

"No, you can do whatever you want." Nayeon answered promptly, cheeks flushed. "That's what I
wanted to tell you, that's why I'm here now."

"You- what??" She shook her head, confused. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"I know you have the right to be angry. To hate me, to yell at me, whatever. That and everything
else you couldn't do in the past because I wasn't here. It's all my fault, Jeongyeon, I know. So you
can get it out of your system, go ahead. Take it out on me, I'm ready."

"What?" Jeongyeon was even more puzzled. Nayeon was trying to play the good guy now or
what? What's the point?

"I mean, it doesn't have to be now. I know you may need some time to wrap your head around
everything. So when you wanna talk about it I'll be here, waiting for you. I just want you to know
that I'm holding myself accountable and that I'm sorry for what I put you through. I really am."

"Oh, is that so? You're sorry?" Jeongyeon lashed out and let out a lifeless laugh. "But what are you
really sorry about? You regret it now because you left or because things didn't work out for you at
Stanford?"

"It's not that simple-"

"Then how is it?" Jeongyeon shot back, not proud of how desperate she sounded.

"I never said I regret leaving. I had to go, Jeong, I-" Nayeon closed her eyes for a second and chose
her words more carefully. "We couldn't be together while I was gone. My only regret is that I didn't
tell you that in person. I'm sorry for not telling you personally what's in the letter, but I hope you
know that every word I wrote there is true. I wouldn't lie to you."

See? She doesn't regret leaving. It's alright, that wasn't bad. Jeongyeon wanted her to go to
Stanford, she wanted Nayeon to always seek what's best for her and that's what she did.

But she also didn't want to be with you while she was gone. So she didn't feel the same way as
Jeongyeon did at the end. As much as she already knew that, hearing those words still hurt. It hurt
like hell.

How dared Nayeon say all of that and at the same time say that the things she wrote in the letter
were true? The person who wrote that letter seemed to at least care about Jeongyeon, even though
she had been trying to convince herself otherwise for the past year. That Nayeon - her Nayeon -
and this person standing in front of her now couldn't be the same person. They weren't.
 "Fuck, Nayeon, what the hell do you want from me?" Jeongyeon couldn't hold back the tears any
longer. She finally let them show for the first time since it all started. "You want me to say that I
forgive you, is that it? You want to clear your consciousness?"

"No, I just want you to tell me what I can do to make this situation better."

"There's no making it better. You've ruined us, that's it. All we can do now is move on, and I was
doing it just fine before you came back."

It was Nayeon's turn to step back. She raised her gaze to the sky trying to keep her own tears from
falling. Jeongyeon noticed Nayeon was crying too and hated how it made her feel guilty. But damn
it, what right did Nayeon have to do that? To cry and feel bad just after admitting that it's all her
fault? She wasn't the victim here.

"Do you want me to leave?" Nayeon asked just above a whisper.

Oh, did she?

"I..." She couldn't complete the sentence. Didn't know what to say.

"I can just quit the team if you want." Nayeon looked even smaller.

"And miss a good shot at the championship because I didn't want to be in the same place as my ex
a few hours a day? Yeah, sure, the team will love me for that." She shook her head.

"I can come up with an excuse. Something more plausible. You know I can do it."

"We need you, Nayeon." She was so blunt that the look she got from Nayeon made Jeongyeon feel
like she's on fire. Then she suddenly felt the urge to say something else, completing. "As much as I
don't like it, the team needs you."

Nayeon nodded. Jeongyeon roughly wiped her tears with the back of her hand and took a few deep
breaths before looking back at Nayeon, who had already been watching again. Every moment she
spent near Nayeon made Jeongyeon feel like the other girl was studying her somehow. Every
word, every movement, every reaction. It was starting to drive her crazy.

"Just leave me alone, okay? You do your thing, I'll do mine. It's only going to be awkward if we let
it."

Something in Nayeon's gaze changed yet again and those little changes were adding to Jeongyeon's
uneasiness. It was strange not knowing what it meant when there was a time where she could read
Nayeon like a book. Her favorite novel.

"Fine." Nayeon nodded, putting an end to the conversation. "I'll leave you alone."

Then she turned her back and walked toward the locker room while Jeongyeon, ironically, watched
her walk away once again.

Chapter End Notes

we'll have the first flashback in the next chapter, so it's a bit of fluff before the drama
really kicks off
 be my girlfriend
Chapter Summary

She couldn't believe it when Nayeon took a step closer, invading her personal space.
She couldn't believe it when Nayeon carefully cupped her cheeks and slowly learned
closer while looking right into her eyes to make sure she hadn't changed her mind. She
couldn't believe it when she herself put her hands on Nayeon's waist and gently pulled
her closer until their bodies were closer together. No, she just couldn't believe that that
was actually happening.

Chapter Notes

since I think we all deserve a little bit of fluff to keep us going

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Jeongyeon joined the gang at the cafeteria for their regular lunch date. Regardless of whether there
was practice or not, they'd hang out every weekday at their usual table during their break.
Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Jihyo and Dahyun since the year before, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were
their newest additions to their group since the school semester started a few weeks ago.

When the couple joined the team, Jeongyeon found out that Chaeyoung and Tzuyu had been dating
for a while. They're high school sweethearts just like she and Nayeon used to be. Sometimes
watching the two of them together brought back memories with Nayeon that she would like to
forget. But Jeongyeon knew she couldn't be bitter like that, so she tried to avoid those feelings
whenever she could. After all, they're adorable and the goalkeeper had a particular soft spot for
both of them.

"Soooo, do we hate her or not?" Sana unceremoniously asked after sitting down next to
Jeongyeon.

"What do you mean?"

"The kids told us you and Nayeon talked after practice and you haven't said a word about it yet, so
we don't know where we stand here." Momo clarified and Jeongyeon resisted the urge to roll her
eyes at them. Like, seriously, would she ever get any privacy? But okay, it's fine, at least that's a
good chance for her to put an end to this matter once and for all.

"Oh, right, we talked. And we, well..." Jeongyeon took a quick glance at Jihyo who was sitting in
the farthest corner of the table, effectively making an effort to avoid eye contact with the rest of the
group. "We don't hate her."

"Yes!" Dahyun cheerfully quipped. "I know she was like, awful to you or something, but she seems
pretty nice." Sana cast a repressing glance at her best friend's girlfriend. "Nice- I mean, as far as
possible, I guess, considering everything and... stuff." She stuttered, trying to make it sound better.
"She's pretty kind and patient with us, and she also has some great tips too. With all due respect to
Coach Bae and- and you, of course, but I think she can really help us out this season."

"She wasn't... awful. She just broke up with me." Jeongyeon was trying to be reasonable. She
thought long and hard about it and had come to the conclusion that if she acted like it wasn't a big
deal, soon enough her friends would also act the same way. "That's not a crime, as far as I know."

"But it should be." Sana deadpanned.

"Still, breaking up by letter was a shitty thing to do." Tzuyu absently remarked.

"Oh, great! So everyone knows about this too, even the kids?" Jeongyeon snapped, throwing a
disapproving glance at the rest of the group.

"We're not kids." Chaeyoung protested, but she was gracefully dismissed with a hand wave. The
nickname had already been adopted by Coach Bae, so there was nothing they could do about it.

"Damage control group, sorry." Jihyo raised her hands in a sign of surrender. "But no one outside
this table knows, I promise. And I guarantee you we'll keep it that way." The captain glared at the
kids as a warning and they nodded right away.

"Are you sure we don't hate her? I'd love to kick some balls at her and pretend it's an accident."
Sana suggested and Jeongyeon chuckled dismissively, mostly because she knew Sana wasn't
joking.

"Yeah, I'm sure, please keep your shots only at the goal. And would you mind giving me some
space, Sana? You're almost sitting on me." Jeongyeon complained about Sana's lack of sense of
personal space, but she didn't listen.

"Why? Can't think straight when I'm so close?" Sana whispered in Jeongyeon's ear, causing half
the table to hold back their laughter while the other half made disgusted grimaces.

"Because," Jeongyeon softly pushed her away, putting some distance between them. "Every time
you get this close I can practically hear your groupies plotting my murder."

"I don't care about them, everyone knows you're my number one." Sana plastered her best
charming smile on her face as Jeongyeon just stared at her with narrowed eyes.

"Keep it up and by the end of the season Jeongyeon will be holding one of those sign for you Sana,
like 'number 10 on the field but number 1 in my heart' kind of thing, just like your other fans."
Momo just made an innocent joke like she'd make any other day. Eliciting laughter from all of
them, all except Jeongyeon and Jihyo.

That's because as it turned out, the 10 jersey was the number Sana had "inherited" from Nayeon
after she left. But not only that, it was also the number that the eldest had worn since she was a kid.

There was no way for Momo to know what kind of memory that simple comment brought back to
the goalkeeper, but Jihyo certainly remembered. Jeongyeon caught her best friend eyeing her with
a worried look while the rest of the girls laughed and chatted nonchalantly as they ate.

At the bottom of her last drawer, inside of a box that Jeongyeon kept in secret, there was, among
other things, a polaroid of her with Nayeon.

In said photo, both of them were sitting on the porch steps of Jeongyeon's house back in their
hometown. They had their arms around each other and there were birthday decorations all around
them. Nayeon was wearing the soccer jersey from their old high school team and had her eyes
almost closed because of how big she was smiling. Jeongyeon, with casual clothes and a blue cast
on her left leg, had her gaze fixed on the girl next to her instead of looking at the camera. By the
corner of the stairs, forgotten in the moment, there was a homemade sign that read pretty much
what Momo had just said: "#10 on the field, #1 in my heart." With big hearts around it and way too
much glitter. Back then Nayeon liked to call it her masterpiece.

That picture was a memory of what Jeongyeon used to consider one of the happiest of her life. Or
so she thought, in the past, as she looked back on that day:

It started with Jeongyeon having an amazing dream about the soft lips of a particular striker with
honey-colored eyes and a beautiful bunny smile. Lips which she also happened to be kissing every
Wednesday after practice since the beginning of their junior year.

Up until a loud noise brought her back from her slumber, suddenly waking her up. It was different
from her normal alarm; it was h e r exclusive ringing tone. My Ear's Candy was blasting
obnoxiously loud from her phone that for some unknown reason had fallen to the floor. Jeongyeon
stood up awkwardly, the cast on her leg hampering her movements as she tried to kick the covers
aside searching for the source of noise without even knowing what time it was.

"Hi??? What's up?? You alright?" Jeongyeon asked in a hushed concerned tone. Her voice only a
little above a whisper tho, so as not to risk waking anyone up. Although she didn't know what time
it was, she had noticed through the window that it was still dark outside.

"I don't want a lot for Christmas, there is just one thing I need..." Nayeon's voice sang from the
other side and it took Jeongyeon about two seconds to fully understand what's going on. It was the
first day of November. Aka, her birthday.

"Oh, come on." She rolled her eyes and shifted, sitting on the floor with her back against the bed
and trying to make herself as comfortable as possible.

They had known each other since they were twelve, when Nayeon moved to the city with her dad.
Nayeon and Jihyo hit it off right away, but Jeongyeon was still a little reluctant to accept the new
loud girl into the group. But that's okay because, after all, everything about them has always been a
matter of when, not if.

"I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree..."

Whereas for Jeongyeon that particular date solely represented her birthday, for the rest of the world
it also marked the beginning of the Christmas season. That's part of the reason why Jeongyeon
hated Christmas songs. That and also because Jeongyeon always thought they were way too
cheesy.

Knowing that, Nayeon made it her personal mission to sing a Christmas song instead of the
traditional Happy Birthday for Jeongyeon on the first of November. Every. Single. Fucking. Year.
Since then, Nayeon had always changed her repertoire to fully annoy the younger girl, plotting
things that only her evil mind was capable of scheming.

"I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know..."

One year, she paid off a group of kids to follow Jeongyeon around the school hallways wearing
Christmas hats and singing Santa Tell Me for an entire day. The next one, she managed to persuade
Jihyo into doing a duet of Baby It's Cold Outside right behind the goal while Jeongyeon was
practicing, when she could do nothing to escape their antics. Last year, her birthday was also a
game day, so Nayeon manipulated the cheerleaders into performing Jingle Bell Rock - yeah, the
Mean Girls version - every time Jeongyeon made a save.

It was a living hell, of course, but it was her personal hell. The one she liked; loved, even. Not that
she would ever admit that to anyone, obviously.

"Make my wish come true..."

But an early morning phone call seemed way too easy compared to previous years. And music
choice this time... well, that's interesting, to say the least. Jeongyeon tried to ignore the way
something inside her tingled hearing those words.

"All I want for Christmas is youuuuu." She finished in a dramatic extravagant fashion, prompting
Jeongyeon to cover her phone so that Nayeon wouldn't hear her giggles.

"I think you have the wrong number." Jeongyeon deadpanned, trying to control herself.

"Happy birthday, Jeong!" She could imagine the striker beaming on the other side.

"Thank you."

"Did you like the upgrade?"

"Wait, does that mean that there won't be any public humiliation this year?"

"Duh. Why do you think I woke you up so early? I'm making up for it."

"I don't know. Coming from you it sounds catchy."

"Damn woman, you wound me. There's no class today and you won't be playing, so it wouldn't be
any fun anyway."

"Um, okay, it makes sense."

"And my birthday wishes were delivered on the exact same time you were born, which makes it that
extra special. You don't have to thank me again." Nayeon smugly added.

"How do you know that?" Jeongyeon didn't remember telling Nayeon the exact time she's born.
She wasn't even sure if she knew it herself.

"Mr. Yoo told me." She replied naturally.

"You've been talking to my dad behind my back?" Jeongyeon frowned.

"Only the necessary."

"Nayeon?!"

"Gee, relax. I haven't told him how you've been spending your Wednesday nights instead of helping
him out at the restaurant." She could practically hear the older girl's smile on the other side.

"Nayeon..." Jeongyeon's tone changed altogether and her cheeks flushed deeply. She had never
been so happy that Nayeon couldn't see her.

"How's your foot?" Nayeon changed the topic and Jeongyeon looked down at the blue cast on her
left foot. She had forgotten about it for a few minutes.
"Scratching like hell, but it doesn't hurt anymore."

"I think that's good."

"I guess so."

"Are you coming to the game later today?"

"You know I wouldn't miss it."

"Good. I have something for you."

"I told you that I didn't want anything."

"And I told you that this isn't about you."

"It's my birthday, Nayeon. It's literally about me."

"Sorry, Jeong, you're breaking up. I'll see you later." They both knew it wasn't true, but Nayeon
made a show of cutting her words to make it sound more real.

"Nayeon- no, ah- okay, she hung up."

Jeongyeon grunted in frustration, shaking her head as she pulled the phone out of her ear with a
silly grin on her face.

The goalkeeper had broken her foot for the second time around about a month ago, during a game.
Since then she had been very upset about not being able to play, but she always went to each of
their games to cheer on Nayeon, Jihyo and the rest of the team as well. Jeongyeon hoped she would
get better soon so she could go back to playing again before the end of the season. After all, her
senior year was getting closer and she wanted to make a good impression to get herself into her
dream college.

That day's game wasn't a big event. It's just a friendly match but Jeongyeon still looked forward to
it. She didn't even go back to sleep, just stayed awake in bed waiting for the time to get up and get
dressed.

However, against her will, Jeongyeon almost got there late. But that was totally her dad's fault, her
old man chose that day to drive like a sixty years old lady.

The game was about to start and she had already missed Jihyo's classic pre-game pep talk, as well
as the team's warm-up chit chat - reads gossip time. Jeongyeon only got there in time to have a two
minutes talk with Nayeon before the kick off, but that alone made her happy enough.

However, when the match finally started, Jeongyeon noticed that Nayeon was a bit off her game. It
got her worried as she was sitting in the stands holding a brightly colored sign that read "#10 on
the field, #1 in my heart." Needless to say, Nayeon had made that sign herself.

That was the gift Nayeon had mentioned to Jeongyeon over the call: something for her to cheer on
herself. Jeongyeon just laughed it off and accepted it anyway. At least Nayeon hadn't spent money
on anything big like she had done over the previous years.

She watched the game from the bleachers just behind the bench, shouting encouragement for her
team that seemed to be affected by something she didn't quite know what it was. And the final 0-0
score did nothing to cheer them up. Jeongyeon saw her teammates walking back to the locker room
feeling disappointed with themselves, no one stopped by to wish her a happy birthday. Not even
Jihyo talked to her, and that made her way more upset than she'd like to admit.

Nayeon, on the other hand, ran towards her as soon as the final whistle blew. Jeongyeon could tell
she was bummed about the draw, just like she always was when their team didn't score. She was
too hard on herself and would always think it was her fault since she was a striker and that was
supposed to be her job. But still, Nayeon managed to crack a smile as she walked back to
Jeongyeon.

"I'm sorry I didn't score for you today, that was supposed to be your real birthday present." Nayeon
scratched the back of her neck, looking a little embarrassed.

"It's okay, I liked this one." Jeongyeon excitedly swung the sign. "Everyone seemed a bit off their
games today. Is Jihyo okay?"

"I think so, yeah. She's having a hard time organizing the team without you yelling at the defense
back there. Just between us, you know she doesn't trust Hyewon, so she's having to work even
harder to handle our back line." Hyewon was the team's backup goalkeeper and to be honest
Jeongyeon understood why Jihyo had her doubts. The freshman was too young and didn't have
experience like the rest of them.

"Okay, I get it. But she could at least wish me a happy birthday, you know. I mean, she's my best
friend..." Jeongyeon muttered, crossing her arms with her typical pout. Nayeon narrowed her eyes
and shook her head, watching the sulking girl in front of her.

"Come with me." Nayeon beckoned her right after grabbing her own backpack from the bench.

"Hey, no. I can't, my foot." Jeongyeon reminded her as if that would be enough to stop whatever
idea Nayeon had in her mind.

"Jeongyeon..." Nayeon whined slyly and started to pull the goalkeeper up, helping her stand and
pushing the crutches into her hands. Honestly, Jeongyeon didn't even put up a fight, she knew it
would be useless anyway. She just told Nayeon to pick up the homemade sign so it wouldn't be
forgotten in the stands and then slowly trailed behind her.

"My dad told me to wait for him here. If he comes back and I'm gone, I'll never hear the end of it."
Jeongyeon complained, but didn't stop. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Here." Nayeon pretty much pushed Jeongyeon into an alley between the locker room and the
bleachers; a place which the both of them were awfully familiar with. It's the secret place where
she and Nayeon have been- uh... hanging out? If one could call it that.

Jeongyeon didn't really know how they had come to this agreement, but they had been meeting
there every Wednesday after practice since the beginning of the school year. And when they left,
they wouldn't talk about it anywhere else, or with anyone else for that matter. Not even with Jihyo.
At least that was the deal.

It all started when a cheerleader asked Jeongyeon out on a date, blatantly and publicly during their
lunch break. Jeongyeon, however, politely declined, which shocked both Nayeon and Jihyo
equally, as well as the rest of her friends. As soon as that day's practice came to an end, Nayeon
dragged Jeongyeon into that alley, away from everyone else, and asked her why she didn't say yes.

Since they were alone, Jeongyeon felt comfortable enough to admit that the real reason was
because she had never really kissed anyone before. She didn't want to find out that she was bad at it
with one of the most popular girls of the school only to become a joke and be made fun of for the
rest of her high school days. She did have a reputation to live up to, after all.

They had been friends for a really long time, so Jeongyeon expected the older girl to make a joke to
lighten up the mood or try to comfort her in some other Nayeon-like way. What she didn't expect,
however, was what actually happened. She heard Nayeon shyly admit that she had never kissed
anyone before either, so she empathized with Jeongyeon and understood where that worry was
coming from.

But upon hearing that - and only God knew why - Jeongyeon had the brilliant slash foolish idea to
offer herself to be Nayeon's first kiss, so that they could both get that weight out of their shoulders
and get on with their lives without that unnecessary stigma. She suggested it so bluntly and
carelessly that she herself was surprised when she heard her own voice uttering those words. And
the stunned look on Nayeon's face told her that the striker wasn't expecting it either.

Jeongyeon felt thoroughly embarrassed and was about to take back everything she said. She was
ready to pretend that it had been just a stupid joke when a shy and low "okay" left the older girl's
lips.

Okay? Oh.

Okay.

Jeongyeon couldn't believe her ears.

She couldn't believe it when Nayeon took a step closer, invading her personal space. She couldn't
believe it when Nayeon carefully cupped her cheeks and slowly learned closer while looking right
into her eyes to make sure she hadn't changed her mind. She couldn't believe it when she herself put
her hands on Nayeon's waist and gently pulled her closer until their bodies were closer together.
No, she just couldn't believe that that was actually happening.

But she had to believe it wasn't just a fever dream when Nayeon's lips touched her own as if it was
the most natural thing in the world. Jeongyeon followed her moves and kissed Nayeon
purposefully, as if she was born to do that. Enjoying every moment and deepening the kiss as they
both became more comfortable with how right it felt.

Sometimes Jeongyeon still couldn't believe that it had actually been going on for months without
anyone knowing. But even worse, she couldn't believe that she had managed to catch feelings for
the most annoying girl she had ever met. Not only that, but it had also taken away Jeongyeon's
sanity to the point that she was forced to break the promise she had made to Nayeon. She just
broke and told Jihyo all about how she was feeling because se felt like she was going to explode if
she didn't get it out of her system.

On that occasion, Jihyo flicked her forehead and told her to do something about it instead of
whining and moping around about something she could actually change. But Jeongyeon just
laughed it off and dismissed her advice, saying it was just a silly crush and that it'd surely fade
away with time.

Yeah, sure. If she only knew.

"Today is not Wednesday." That's all Jeongyeon managed to say as she felt her body temperature
rising and the butterflies in her stomach fighting it's way out.

"I'm not going to jump you, Jeongyeon. I just have something important to tell you, but I can't say it
in front of everyone." Nayeon helped Jeongyeon sit down and fell back beside her in that cramped
little spot. "Your dad isn't coming. I'm supposed to take you out for some ice cream in the park and
distract you for the next two hours while your family and the team get everything ready for the
surprise party your parents are throwing at your house."

"What??" Jeongyeon almost jumped. "Oh, come on, you shouldn't have told me that! You ruined
the surprise!" The goalkeeper whined as Nayeon watched her with a fond look.

"You were upset and I couldn't let you be sad on your birthday. It's my duty as your best friend to
cheer you up today. And you honestly should've known something was up. The rest of the girls
would never forget your birthday, least of all Jihyo."

"I didn't think she had forgotten, I just thought she might be too bummed to talk to me." Jeongyeon
put the crutches down and started playing with the sleeve of her hoodie, doing her best to avoid
that look on Nayeon's face.

"Still. If I had to look at you all sulky for another minute, I'd be forced to kiss that pout off of your
lips."

Jeongyeon's heart skipped a beat. She definitely didn't see it coming. But Nayeon seemed just as
surprised by her own words, if the sudden blush that creeped out of her cheeks and all the way
down to her neck was any indication.

"We had a whole celebration planned out for you," Nayeon quickly recovered. "But I guess since
no one scored, the girls were a little upset we couldn't pull it off. I think that's why they avoided
you in the end, but also because it'd be better for the surprise at your party. If you think they didn't
remember, you know? But it doesn't matter now, I have something else for you anyway."

"Another one?" Jeongyeon fake gasped and pointed toward the sign leaning against the wall.
"Gosh, you do know how to treat a girl."

"Shut up." Nayeon cheekly shot back as she fiddled inside her backpack.

She pulled out a cupcake box from Jeongyeon's parent's restaurant. Their favorite flavor. A small
candle and a lighter came right out as well.

That was yet another tradition the two of them had since they became friends all those years ago:
they shared a cupcake specially made by Jeongyeon's dad, but that was usually reserved for
Nayeon's birthday, which was two months ago.

"Are you really mixing up the dates or did you really just decide to make everything about my
birthday about yourself?" Jeongyeon couldn't help but taunt, but she also couldn't hold back the
silly grin that took over her lips.

"Since we're innovating this year I thought we could do this for you too. The wishes I make with
your dad's cupcakes tend to come true."

"Thank you." Jeongyeon opened the box, but made no mention of taking it out. She looked back at
Nayeon instead and noticed that she looked a bit nervous. "Speaking of innovation, I actually found
this year's change pretty interesting. No public torture and a decent song choice for once? I could
get used to that."

"I thought you deserved a break because of your foot." Nayeon claimed with a cocky smile.

Then Jeongyeon caught herself thinking that she wouldn't mind hearing Nayeon singing All I Want
For Christmas instead of Happy Birthday for her forever, if Nayeon wanted to.

However, in the very next second, she realized that it wasn't just a thought. She was so lost in
Nayeon's gaze that she had actually spoken those words out loud.

Gee, how fucking silly that must have sounded? Jeongyeon couldn't believe she had actually said
that.

The goalkeeper quickly looked away, choosing to stare at the cupcake in her hands. She racked her
brain for something to say so she could cover up her embarrassment, but absolutely nothing but
Nayeon came to her mind.

"You mean it?" That's all Nayeon said in response and Jeongyeon just nodded coyly because Gosh,
what else could she do?

Nayeon stared at her, deep in thought. She seemed to be lost inside her own mind and Jeongyeon
did her best to ignore the way it made her whole body buzz. She took the lighter out of Nayeon's
hands and lit up the candle, placing it on top of the cupcake and moving it towards her, hoping that
it'd make Nayeon look away.

"Here, make a wish."

"It's your birthday, not mine."

"But the cupcake is your tradition, not mine. Besides, I'm probably having a birthday cake at my
not-so-surprise party later, I can have my wish there. We can split, you seem to be needing it more
than I do." Jeongyeon argued, remembering how upset the striker looked earlier because of the
game's outcome. "Make it worth it, okay? Don't make me regret granting you my wish."

Nayeon nodded and leaned in closer than necessary to blow out the candle. She stared at
Jeongyeon as she bit her lower lip to hold back a smile which from Jeongyeon's personal
experience could only mean trouble.

"What did you wish for?" Jeongyeon felt compelled to ask. She whispered as if it was a secret,
sending the no-telling rule to hell.

"The same thing I want for Christmas." She felt Nayeon learning even closer and automatically
learned in as well.

"Huh?" Their faces were only mere inches apart now and Jeongyeon could feel Nayeon's warm
breath hitting her lips, keeping her from thinking straight.

"You."

You?

Jeongyeon seemed puzzled for a moment, she was never very good at reading into that kind of
stuff. But that time Nayeon had no intention of leaving anything up in the air; she was in to get
exactly what she wanted. Left no room for doubt when the next words left her mouth.

"I want you."

Oh, it's me

"Be my girlfriend, Jeongyeon."

Jeongyeon could've sworn her heart had grown wings and had flown straight to Nayeon's hands.
Maybe it actually did that because after all, Nayeon had always had power over her heart. It was
hers to take care of just as much as it was hers to break. Jeongyeon had always known it and she
had always been willing to take that risk.

But in the end she really did break it. And boy, how did she break it.

Fuck. Jeongyeon fell back to the present as if she was hit by a cold bucket of water.

How could someone who used to sweep her off her feet like that be the same person who caused
her so much pain? It's like people never truly know each other at the end of the day.

"Jeongyeon?" She heard someone calling her name but the voice sounded far away. The truth was
that the goalkeeper was distracted, staring into nothingness and lost in her own mind.

"Did Sana break her?" Chaeyoung waved her hand right in front of Jeongyeon's face, trying to get
her attention. "I thought she was immune."

"Don't be stupid, she just saw her new fling walking into the cafeteria." Momo's comment made
them all look at the door.

"What?" It also brought Jeongyeon back to reality. She threw those memories into the forbidden
drawer inside of her brain as she tried to assimilate Momo's words.

"What???" The other girls also said at the same time.

Jeongyeon followed the direction Momo mentioned and her eyes found Mina walking through the
cafeteria with another girl she didn't know.

"How do you even know who she is?? She left before you came home." Jeongyeon asked Momo
and also slapped her hand to get her to stop pointing.

"I saw you coming down the stairs together before you left the party on Saturday. I just assumed it
was her, but you just gave yourself away, buddy." Jeongyeon hated when that smug smile was used
against her.

"Oh, hold on. You mean the pretty girl over there with the wolf cut and the white button up shirt?"
Sana watched carefully.

"Yeah, why?" Dahyun answered for them.

"You fucked my roommate?!" She looked at Jeongyeon with wide eyes.

"She's your roommate??" Jeongyeon all but jumped.

The noises coming from their table ended up catching Mina's attention. She looked over and found
all of them looking at her. Sana waved and her roomate offered back a tight-lipped smile. Mina
also nodded towards Jeongyeon, who promptly returned shyly. She was about to dig a hole to
shove herself in right then and there, but Mina just turned her attention back to her friend and
walked away.

"Yeah, it's been a month or so. Ever since Eunbi graduated last semester I was trying to fill up the
position. Most of the girls were pretty weird and some of them I couldn't accept because-"

"You've slept with most of them." Jihyo wryly added.

 "Because it'd be awkward." Sana ignored, casting a pointed icy glance at Jihyo. "But Mina saw my
ad, emailed me before classes started and now she lives with me. She's pretty quiet, by the way, but
she's nice. I give you my blessing."

"I appreciate it, but that was just a one time thing. She has some drama with her ex… or friend
slash ex? I don't know. And I-"

"You too, apparently." Chaeyoung muttered under her breath and Tzuyu slapped her arm to shut
her up.

"No, Nayeon and I are done. I'm just not looking for anything serious right now."

"She could always be your something not serious." Sana tried.

"We decided to be friends. She's a great listener, anyway."

"Please don't tell me that you ended up whining about your ex-girlfriend after a casual fuck." Uh,
actually it was before, Jeongyeon wanted to say upon hearing Jihyo's complaint. She sounded
seriously outraged, to be honest. "I'm your best friend, you should be talking about it with me."

"I- no, fuck, listen to me, all of you." Jeongyeon looked around, taking advantage of the fact that
they were all there to wrap up that topic once and for all. "I know this whole thing with Nayeon
may seem complicated, but it's really not that deep. We're ex-girlfriends and that's all. People
coexist with their exes all the time, it's normal. I'm fine with it."

"But-"

"No buts. I know Nayeon used to be friends with you too, or still is, whatever." She took a quick
glance at Momo and Jihyo. She had noticed how tense the two of them would get whenever she
and Nayeon were the topic in question. "It's fine, I promise. I'd never ask you to choose between
the two of us."

"You know I'd totally choose you..." Sana charmingly stated, slipping her arm over her shoulders
and creeping closer to Jeongyeon just like she did before.

"Anyway," Once again Jeongyeon carefully nudged Sana away. "She's here now and that's it. She's
a friend of yours and a part of the team. I'm not saying that I'm going to welcome her with open
arms or that we'll be braiding each other's hair anytime soon, but I'll make an effort to be civil. Are
we clear?" They haltingly nodded. "And you gotta stop treating me like I'm going to explode
whenever I'm around her, alright?? The way you're looking at me is driving me crazy, you guys!"

It took at least another thirty minutes of reassurance and Jeongyeon stating for no less than fifty
times that everything was okay for her friends to finally be persuaded, but in the end they all
seemed convinced enough. Yeah, or at least that's what she hoped. If she was wrong, that'd
definitely be a problem.

But all she could do now was wait and hope for the best.

Chapter End Notes

and now we're in for the drama.

 maybe having her back wasn't so bad after all
Chapter Summary

“What the fuck?”

“What the hell just happened?”

"Did you see the look on her face?"

"I think I'm a little turned on."

"That's the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life."

Chapter Notes

tam tam tam tam

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The first few days after Nayeon's return were good; or at least as good as possible, considering
well- everything.

Besides seeing her during every single practice, Jeongyeon also started to bump into Nayeon
around campus. She was always with either Momo or Jihyo by her side, so she would wave or nod.
Jeongyeon was civil and polite, and so was Nayeon. They greeted each other and that's it. Kept it
formal.

The fact that Nayeon hadn't yet tried to have another of those conversations with her again was a
relief, but at the same time it also made her a little uneasy. She knew that whatever it was, it was
far from being over. After all, the same universe that brought Nayeon back would never allow her
to have it so easy.

Even not knowing exactly what Nayeon wanted from her, Jeongyeon just knew she wanted
something. But what the hell would that something be? Forgiveness? Or just a backlash?

She also thought that maybe Nayeon just wanted her to have a real fight with her. One where she'd
finally lash out so Nayeon could move on and leave whatever guilt she might still be carrying with
her behind.

Or maybe she really cared about Jeongyeon and wanted her to have some kind of closure? Maybe?
No. Fuck, whatever. Who even cared at that point?

She did, apparently.

Jeongyeon hated the fact that she couldn't do anything to help those kinds of thoughts. That
constant fight between the good and the bad version of Nayeon that was going on inside her head
was too fucking tiring.
Besides, she still didn't feel comfortable enough to talk about Nayeon with Momo or Jihyo. Sana,
on the other hand, was still totally biased. So Jeongyeon ended up dumping all of her drama on
poor, innocent Mina. But Mina didn't mind, no matter how much Jeongyeon might think otherwise.

The two of them grew closer after the party... event. They noticed they had more classes together
that semester, so they started studying together, walking side by side around campus, and also
complaining about their respectives disasters in their love lives departments to one another. And
Sana, who turned out to be Mina's new flatmate, also became a more present figure during those
days.

But in the following week after Nayeon's arrival, when the three of them were having lunch
together at their usual table outside the cafeteria area, that's when their group dynamic really
started to change again.

"Good thing you're here, I've been looking all over for you." Momo let her backpack fall on the
table and sat down next to Sana. "Let me borrow your gen-ed notes. I couldn't make it to class this
morning."

"Why not?" Sana absently asked, still focused on her food.

"Personal reasons." Momo kept a straight face.

"Does your personal reason happen to be 5'3 tall, has pale skin, an incredible body and is heading
in our direction right now?" Sana asked and Jeongyeon took a quick glance over her shoulder to
find Dahyun walking into the cafeteria.

"Yeah, but hey!" Momo punched Sana's arm. "Are you checking out my girlfriend?"

"Do you need the notes or not?"

"I mean, there's no harm in looking." Momo cheeky replied and Sana handed over her notes. Momo
fished her phone so she could take pictures, but before she could finish Dahyun arrived at the table
and interrupted her with a kiss. Then she sat down next to her girlfriend and greeted the rest of the
girls with a warm smile and flushed cheeks.

"Tone it down, lovebirds. Not everyone here is used to this kind of PDA." Jeongyeon cringed and
nodded towards Mina, who was sitting by her side.

"Oh, hi. You're Mina, right?" Momo interrupted the photoshoot again, just then noticing the new
girl.

"Yes, I am. Let me guess, Momo and Dahyun?" She greeted them with a bright smile.

"How'd you know?"

"Jeongyeon and Sana may or may not have mentioned a couple in an eternal honeymoon phase that
makes them want to throw up from time to time." Mina replied as she playfully nudged Jeongyeon.

"But it could be Chaeng and Tzuyu, too!" Momo protested.

"Nope, they can actually keep their hands off each other for more than five seconds." Sana argued,
pointing at Dahyun's arms which had already found their way around Momo's waist.

"Tsc, whatever." Momo clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes before giving her girlfriend another
peck. "Do you have the statistics notes as well? I missed that one too."
"No, I don't, dude. Took that one last semester, I'm free." Sana replied.

"Oh, that's right. Nayeon is the one who takes this class with me. Hey, Nayeon! Come here!"
Momo basically shouted trying to get her attention once she saw the older girl grabbing a soda can
from the snack machine near the entrance. Jeongyeon hadn't noticed her there, but her body tensed
up as soon as she heard her ex's name being called.

"What's up?" Nayeon asked as soon as she approached the table, keeping her gaze fixed on Momo.

"I need your statistics notes-"

"That's it! I'm going to kill them this time!"

Before Nayeon could reply, Jihyo popped out of nowhere with Tzuyu and Chaeyoung trailing
closely behind her. The two younger girls were soaking wet, trying to dry themselves with two
towels with the uni logo printed on them.

"What happened?" Jeongyeon asked. She also opened her backpack to get an extra towel she kept
in her training bag and Sana did the same. They handed it over to the kids who just quietly thanked
them as Jihyo carried on.

"What do you think??" Jihyo didn't even sit down. She paced back and forth beside the table, face
flushed red with anger and arms tightly crossed against her chest. "The volleyball team decided to
welcome our freshmen already."

Oh, of course. Grumbling murmurs of complaint filled the table, only Mina looked confused.

Jeongyeon took about a minute to introduce Mina to the rest of the newcomers. Except Nayeon, of
course, whom she obviously had already met. Then she briefly explained how the soccer team and
the volleyball team had an internal rivalry going on. They pulled pranks on each other, trashed
each other's locker rooms, verbally teased one another and other things like that. But lately the girls
from the volleyball team always found a way to go an extra mile, so things had stopped being just
fun and games a long time ago.

Jeongyeon hated them. She really, really did. Everyone on the team hated them, to be honest. They
were always jealous of the soccer team because they consistently made it farther in every year's
competitions, and therefore they were much more liked by the faculty. Both among professors and
students.

But said rivalry had started long before they got into college, and it was sure gonna live on long
after they graduated; it was almost a cultural thing in Yonsei at that point. And poor kids
Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, who had been there for a little over a month now, had just experienced a
taste of said rivalry first handedly.

"They caught us with water balloons when we were leaving class, we didn't even see what
happened." Chaeyoung complained as she helped her girlfriend dry herself.

"You're lucky it's only water. Last year, Yerim and I got covered in a green goo that I still don't
know what it was." Dahyun recalled as she rested her head on Momo's shoulder.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know." Sana taunted as she placed an arm over Dahyun's shoulder, but
Momo quickly slapped her hand away, casting her best friend a warning glance. Sana just beamed
in response, certainly enjoying the whole thing. "But why are you so mad now, Cap? It's the cycle
of life, we would do the same if they had freshmen this year. Too bad no one wants to get into that
crappy team of theirs."
"They got them inside the biology building. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu could've gotten in trouble if
they ended up damaging something even if by accident." Jihyo finally sat up, snorting. "That goes
against the rules, they're purposely trying to get us into trouble again."

"Why would they get in trouble if it's the volleyball team's fault?" Mina asked, confused once
again.

"Oh, sweet, innocent Mina." Sana took one of Mina's hands between her own. "We have a lot to
teach you if you're really going to be a part of the group."

"Somehow we're always the ones to blame because one of the college counselors is Jennie's uncle."
Jeongyeon explained. "Jennie's their captain. And she's a senior now, so thank goodness we're
going to be free from her soon."

"And after last year's incident..." Dahyun remembered what they all wanted to forget.

"What happened last year?" Nayeon and Mina asked at the very same time. It naturally made
Momo and Sana burst into giggles as they tried to steal not so subtle glances at Jeongyeon, who by
the way, just wanted to disappear right then and there.

"Things got... uh, kinda physical." Dahyun answered to help Jeongyeon out. Or so she tried, at
least.

"Physical??" Tzuyu asked in astonishment. She and Chaeyoung didn't know about that either, after
all, they had just gotten to Yonsei.

"She crossed a line." Jihyo merely said, her firm and stern tone grabbing everyone's attention. It
left no room for doubts or questions, her tone itself said that's all they needed to know. "I lost my
temper and slapped Jennie."

"You did what now??" Nayeon inquired, her eyebrows shooting up as she was unable to hide the
mix of surprise and excitement in her voice. "How come nobody told me about it?" She glanced
between Momo and Jihyo waiting for an answer.

"It isn't funny." Jeongyeon's voice cut through the air like a knife. The kids dropped the smiles
they were previously sporting and Nayeon finally looked at her ex-girlfriend for the first time.
"Jihyo got suspended, we lost the fucking game and got knocked out of the championship on the
following week."

With that the mood changed altogether as a pretty uncomfortable silence took over the table.
Jeongyeon couldn't help it, she still felt guilty about it even though she knew it was all Jennie's
fault.

"So..." Mina tried to keep the conversation going to ease up the mood. "Now you guys just have to
take anything they do without fighting back?"

"Hell no!" Momo replied. "To everyone's both shock and happiness, Jennie also got suspended for
that. There's only so much nepotism can do, I guess. Both teams were warned and we're under
supervision now. We just have to be careful not to push our luck too far."

"Yeah. The board said that if something that serious happens again, they won't hesitate to apply
harsher consequences and whatnots. They basically said that shit will go down. But honestly, I'm
not sure. There was a statement but I didn't read the whole thing, it was pretty boring." Sana
thoughtlessly rambled.
"But they're clearly trying to set us up so we get some more serious problems again." Jihyo
complained, resuming the focus of the conversation.

"Then we can't let them get away with it." Nayeon flatly remarked, displaying a pretty mischievous
grin.

"Keep saying the right things and I might not try to shoot some balls at you during practice." Sana
replied and Jeongyeon kicked her under the table. "Anyway, how would we do that?"

"Don't worry, I'll think of something." Nayeon nodded. "They won't even see us coming." The
older girl stated with a thoughtful expression as the topic of the conversation changed around the
table. Jeongyeon knew exactly what it meant: she was already planning what to do. She also knew
that when Nayeon put her mind on plotting mood for her evil schemes she was pretty much
unstoppable. It had already happened multiple times during their high school years and had also
been put into practice in college when they were freshmen.

Jeongyeon couldn't hold back her smile knowing that Jennie and her troop would finally get what
they deserved. And she thought for the first time that maybe having her back wasn't so bad after
all.

The following days proved that she wasn't wrong. Nayeon's presence didn't bother Jeongyeon
nearly as much as it did before. They were able to be cordial and hold team-related conversations
within the group without their friends thinking that they're going to fight at any time. Of course it
was still a little awkward, but nothing Jeongyeon couldn't handle.

The goalkeeper made an effort to keep the contact between the two of them to the bare minimum,
only talking when it was necessary and related to the team. But even so, it was still inevitable to
laugh at some silly comments Nayeon cracked at Coach Bae during practices, or the stupid jokes
she'd made in the middle of the group lunches she also started to attend.

After getting Jeongyeon's "blessing" to not hate Nayeon, the group got even closer to the older one
again. Although Sana, who also had once been close to Nayeon before, hadn't yet embraced the
former striker's return as well and open armed as Momo and Jihyo, who were still good friends
with her.

Sana would push Nayeon's buttons at every opportunity she got, throwing barbs and antagonizing
her on every possible matter. Well, all except when said matter was their mutual hatred for the
volleyball team, but still.

#TeamJeongyeon, that's what Sana texted her earlier that week, declaring her unconditional love &
support for Jeongyeon. No matter how many times Jeongyeon would say and try to explain that
there was no such thing as teams between them, Sana simply wouldn't let Nayeon breathe.

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, who previously were neutral, joined Nayeon's group of pet peeves
alongside Dahyun. All three of them absolutely adored her, and the fact that they became closer
due to the extra training sessions also played a part for this to happen. Nayeon was just likable like
that. Always had, always would.

So naturally, the social butterfly started to join them for their daily lunch dates. And Mina also
tagged along whenever she had classes with someone from the team before or after the break.

Mina was sort of adopted by Jeongyeon and Sana at first, but everyone in the gang seemed to enjoy
her presence as much as they did since they were already calling her an honorary member of the
squad. Well, everyone except Nayeon. Jeongyeon noticed that Nayeon wouldn't even take a double
look at her in all the two weeks they spent time together, and of course she knew why.

Jihyo had mentioned that Nayeon believed that Jeongyeon and Mina were a thing. That's obviously
Jihyo's choice of word, not hers. But Jeongyeon couldn't care less about what Nayeon thought,
after all, she'd lost her right to an opinion a long time ago.

Still, Jihyo kept saying that Jeongyeon should tell Nayeon that she and Mina were just friends. But
then again, why on earth would she do that, anyway? She wasn't responsible for what Nayeon
thought or did not think, and it was definitely none of her business if she was dating Mina or not.
As long as Nayeon didn't treat Mina with hostility, everything was fine. And since Nayeon just
ignored the younger girl's existence, she wouldn't mistreat her. It was better that way.

"Good save on Chaeyoung shot earlier." Nayeon praised her skills. Friday's practice was almost
over and she was leaning against the goalpost next to where Jeongyeon was defending.

"If you keep standing there you're gonna end up getting hit." The goalkeeper warned.

"You wouldn't let it."

"Wanna bet?" Jeongyeon kept her eyes fixed on the field.

"Okay, maybe you would." Nayeon chuckled but didn't move. "But I'm training my girls well, so
I'm confident that the shots will at least go into the goal. Either to the back of the net or into your
hands, anyway."

"Yeah, you better be."

Nayeon was right. In the short time she had been training the forwards, Jeongyeon's work had
already increased considerably. The results were already showing and she was happy about that, of
course. The hope of winning a title before graduating was burning brighter than ever, and she owed
Nayeon part of the credit.

"I mean, unless you finally allowed Sana to kick some balls at me." Nayeon mocked and
Jeongyeon blushed.

She was grateful that she had to pay attention to the game, using that as an excuse not to look at
Nayeon. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't." That amused and carefree tone made something inside of Jeongyeon flutter.
"Hey, I need to bail on the extra practice today, can you go an hour without me?" Nayeon asked
with a flirty smile just minutes before Coach Bae would blow the final whistle. But wait- what??

"What did you just say?" Jeongyeon ignored the game for a moment. Crossed her arms, tilted her
head and frowned at Nayeon.

What the hell just happened? Was Nayeon really trying to flirt with her? With that choice of words,
on top of that?

Well, Jeongyeon knew that that's a lot like Nayeon, but she also noticed that the older girl was
trying to behave around her. Lately she always seemed to be treading on eggshell, so what had
changed to make her feel comfortable enough to say that?

"I mean," Nayeon stood up straight, lost the goofy smile and bit her lips as she put her hands
behind her back. "Can you take over the extra practice for me? Please?"
Okay, maybe Jeongyeon got it wrong. It must have been a slip.

"Where are you going?" The question slipped out before she could stop herself. But she thought
that if she was going to take care of Nayeon's duties, she had a right to know anyway.

"I have to do something."

"Does Coach Bae know?" Jeongyeon tried to make it sound like that conversation was happening
just for the sake of the team, but the truth was that she was really curious now.

"Trust me, she wouldn't wanna know." Oh, trouble.

"Nayeon..." She scolded but only half-heartedly.

"Jeongyeon..." Nayeon replied in a whining tone that brought back memories Jeongyeon didn't
want to have. It was happening more often than she would've liked over the past few days. Nearly
everything Nayeon would say or do seemed comfortingly familiar to the goalkeeper.

"All I can tell you now is that I have something to do on behalf of the soccer team, and that you'll
most likely enjoy seeing the results later." Oh, right. She got it. It's about time anyway, Nayeon
had never taken this long before.

"Alright."

"You're the best." Nayeon beamed, throwing her backpack over her shoulders.

"Uh, what do I have to do?" Jeongyeon was trying to divide her attention between Nayeon and the
practice again. The ball was currently on the other side of the field, so she thought she was safe.

"Ah, just make sure they keep kicking some balls toward the goal and yell at them in a scary way
once in a while, just like Coach Bae."

"Is that what you do?"

"No, but if I reveal all my secrets you won't need me anymore, will you?" Nayeon replied walking
backwards, not really looking where she was going. "And that suits you well, so just keep doing
that for an hour or so and you'll be fine. I'll make up for lost time on Monday."

"Right." Jeongyeon held back a smile and turned back to the field. She regretted it right away
because her gaze fell on Jihyo, who was a few meters ahead and suspiciously eyeing her.

"See you at lunch." Nayeon added.

"Be careful." The goalkeeper automatically replied and immediately cringed at how natural it felt.

"You too." She heard Nayeon shout from afar and then she was gone.

After avoiding Jihyo, Jeongyeon ran the extra practice as requested. Then she showered and went
straight to a forty-five minute class she still had to take that morning. Later, when she got to the
cafeteria with Mina and Sana, Nayeon was already sitting at their table. So were Jihyo, Tzuyu and
Chaeyoung. The younger girls were interrogating Nayeon, who was just shaking her head with a
wicked smile on her face.

"What's going on?" Jeongyeon asked as she sat down right in front of Nayeon, between Chaeyoung
and Mina. Tzuyu was by her girlfriend's side and Jihyo was on the other side with Nayeon.
"She doesn't want to tell us what she did." Jihyo whined.

"Who did what?" Momo soon arrived with a tray of food in each hand, which meant she wasn't
alone. Dahyun popped up seconds later with two cans of soda from the vending machine.

"Nayeonie did something to the volleyball team." Tzuyu cheerfully blurted out, not being able to
contain her excitement.

"What?!" Sana sat down next to Nayeon, her eyes sparkling with interest.

"You'll find out soon enough." Nayeon finally spoke up with a mischievous tone Jeongyeon knew
all too well.

"Come on, Nayeonie. Tell us, please, please!" Chaeyoung begged like a child asking her mom for
something at a supermarket.

"It's Miss Assistant Coach for you, kid. We've talked about it."

Jeongyeon shared an amused look with Mina since she had already talked and whined all about her
ex-girlfriends' antics with the other girl. Still, she had to acknowledge it was funny and couldn't
help but feel entertained. She shook her head trying to bite back her smile.

"Just tell us, Nayeon." Jeongyeon asked as she started to eat her food. "This kid over here is almost
having an anxiety attack."

Chaeyoung was in fact practically jumping up and down on the bench next to her. She still hadn't
moved on from the way Jennie and her minions had gotten her and Tzuyu in the freshman hazing
prank, so she was in for her revenge.

Nayeon glanced down at Jeongyeon and tilted her head like she was thinking. The goalkeeper was
struggling to open the juice box she had bought, so she didn't seem to notice. Everyone else at the
table, however, watched in silence. Jeongyeon was about to ask what made everyone so quiet when
Nayeon spoke again.

"Okay." She said after clicking her tongue and shaking her head. "I-"

The revelation was cut short by the sound of the cafeteria doors being violently opened. The venue
was almost empty now since they liked to have a late lunch, so from across the hall Nayeon caught
the sight of the captain from the volleyball team angrily bursting in. Jeongyeon had her back to the
entrance, so she had to turn around to see what was going on.

Jennie was wearing her volleyball jersey, but the entire piece was now thoroughly stained. An
explosion of colors on her face, neck, arms, chest and legs. Behind her were three other girls from
her team looking just like her.

That's when Jeongyeon realized that Nayeon had already done something similar before. Right
after they suffered at the hands of the former volleyball captain on their own freshmen prank when
they first got to Yonsei.

Nayeon had placed something that turned out to be holi paint bombs in their lockers. Except that
the first time around she had gone easy on them, it was just a washable purple dye. This time,
however, in addition to the multiple colors that Jeongyeon knew would be stained forever on that
white uniform, whatever it was also exuded a nasty stink that could be smelled all the way from
where they were sitting just outside the cafeteria area.
"Where is she?" Jennie's voice reverberated through the walls before the eyes of one of her
minions found the one she was looking for. Lisa pointed and Jennie marched toward them as if she
was setting out for a public execution.

"...did that." Nayeon quietly added, trying her best to hide her smile. All the girls at the table were
holding back their giggles, except for Sana who just laughed openly and aloud. If anyone hated
them more than Jeongyeon, that would definitely be Sana.

"What the fuck did you put in this?" Jennie squealed as she pointed at her own shirt, stopping just
behind Jeongyeon and casting a deadly glare at Nayeon. The goalkeeper immediately turned her
attention back forward, exchanging glances between Nayeon and Sana while trying her best to
ignore the presence of the angry girl behind her. Mina did the same, but Chaeyoung and Tzuyu
stayed still, watching the scene.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Nayeon replied and tossed a french fry into her mouth,
looking unbothered.

"I know this is your doing, you bitch. These dummies have spent the entire past year trying to pull
some silly and weak pranks on us, only your dirty mind would be capable of doing something like
that." The high-pitched voice behind her back was making Jeongyeon's head hurt, but the whole
situation was way too hilarious for her to care. Nice one, Nayeon.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Nayeon propped her elbows on the table and cupped her face
between her hands, pretending to give all the attention in the world to the maddened player in front
of her.

"You'll pay for this!" She threatened.

"Oh, do you take cash?" Nayeon taunted, frowning in faux concern and pretending to be worried.
At that sight, Jeongyeon could no longer contain her laughter. She brought her hand to her mouth to
muffle the sound of her giggles.

Nayeon took the opportunity to smile and playfully wink at Jeongyeon, who immediately blushed
and dropped her gaze back to her plate. The rest of their friends were way too busy to notice since
none of them could hold back their laughter anymore.

That only made Jennie's face grow even more flushed with hatred, but unfortunately she was the
only one who caught up on the little exchange between Nayeon and Jeongyeon. A wicked grin
made its way to her lips as she crossed her arms and spoke up again.

"Why are you back anyway, huh?" Jennie went on with the most annoying tone she could master.
"Did Stanford dump your ass just like you dumped your little goalie over here?"

Oh.

The smile Jeongyeon was hiding disappeared for good and the air shifted all of a sudden. None of
the girls were laughing anymore. Sana and Jihyo were already glaring at Jennie, anger written all
over their features.

Of course she would make it about Jeongyeon again. She had been the weakest link in the team for
a while. But Jeongyeon didn't say anything anyway, she only fixed her gaze on the food again as if
it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"What the hell did you just say?" Nayeon's tone also changed altogether. Jeongyeon didn't dare to
look up, but the other girls saw Nayeon standing up until she was at eye level with Jennie. All her
moves were slow and gloomy.

"About Stanford or about the lost puppy you left behind?" Jennie poisonously shot back.

"I don't give a shit about Stanford." Nayeon growled as her hands clenched into fists. She was
getting closer to the other group without even realizing it, her knuckles were already white and
Jeongyeon still didn't have the nerve to look at either of them.

"So the problem is the girl?" Jennie forced a laugh and her minions parroted. "Funny, you didn't
seem to care that much when you left her behind like a grieving widow."

Those words might as well have been a bomb trigger because Nayeon exploded as soon as Jennie
put them out there. She lunged herself at the other captain. "You don't know what the hell you're
talking about!"

It all happened too fast, but her teammates still managed to stop her at the very last moment. Sana
and Momo held her back while Jihyo stepped in front of her, trying to calm her down.

"You're on the team, Nayeon, we need to stay out of trouble. Besides, you can't risk your
internship, she's not worth it." Her captain warned.

"Then tell this fucking hag to keep Jeongyeon's name out of her mouth!" Nayeon yelled over
Jihyo's shoulder, glaring deadly and seeing red. Jennie, on the other hand, did take a step back, but
kept an insufferable smirk on her face.

"Or what?" She challenged. "Are you going to hit me just like your half-assed captain and drag
your whole team down with you?"

"No, she won't." A fresh voice answered before Nayeon could say anything. It was atypically
louder than normal and suddenly caught everyone's attention. She had gotten up without anyone
noticing and was closer to the whole mess now. "But I will."

Jennie scoffed. She had the nerve to snicker again.

"As if-" That's the last thing she said before a clattering sound finally made Jeongyeon look up.

Jennie was on the ground with a bleeding nose and even more flushed cheeks. Momo, Sana and
Jihyo let go of Nayeon and all of them were now looking at the other girl in shock.

"I'm not on the team, so any shitty hold you might have against them won't work on me."

Jeongyeon felt like she was forming a puzzle in her mind, one bit of information at a time until she
came to the final piece: Mina... just punched Jennie square in the face...? For Nayeon. And- and
for her? For Jihyo too, maybe. For all of them, actually. Wow.

"You- you..." Jennie stammered as she pulled herself up. All eyes around the cafeteria were on
them.

The other girls from the volleyball team seemed kind of lost, none of them even bothered to help
their captain to her feet. Everyone was absolutely shocked by what had just happened, including the
soccer team as well.

Mina rubbed her left hand over her right one, lightly stroking her knuckles. It clearly hurt, but she
was trying to play it cool.
"It's Myoui Mina, if you want to take it up to the dean's office." She said taking a step forward,
which made Jennie's minions take a step back. "But I don't know if it'll make any good, to be
honest. You know, if you make a quick visit to the college website and search Myoui on their
annual donations list, you'll see my dad's name up there. I mean, I've learned that you have friends
in high places, but well, so do I. I'm pretty sure you know that by now." Mina added in a lower
tone, yet quite different from her normal calm voice. Almost dangerous. "Do you need me to spell
it out for you or do you still remember?"

Jennie was all but shaking with anger as a deafening silence shortly followed Mina's words.

"That's not how this ends." The captain hissed, grinding her teeth before marching toward the exit
with her clique following closely behind.

"So..." Mina waited for them to disappear out of sight before turning back to the soccer team. They
were all dumbfounded and still trying to process the whole thing. "Does anyone know where I can
get some ice?"

"What the fuck?"

"What the hell just happened?"

"Did you see the look on her face?"

"I think I'm a little turned on."

"That's the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life."

A burst of questions and pats on Mina's back took place all at once. Only Nayeon and Jeongyeon
were quiet, still looking a little shaken by the whole thing. Their eyes met for a second and for
some reason they automatically nodded to each other, as a way of letting the other know that they
were fine. Comfortably familiar.

The girls sat back down as things quieted down a bit, but the questions kept coming.

"Where did that come from?" Sana asked, looking at Mina as if seeing her for the first time.

"Me and Jennie- well, we've known each other..." Mina shyly admitted. "We went to high school
together and believe me when I say that she wasn't any nicer then than she's now."

"Uh, so you guys have history." Momo pointed out.

"Yeah, sort of." Mina answered vaguely, choosing not to elaborate. In any case, no one needed to
be a genius to understand what she meant. Jennie was a bad person, whatever experience Mina
might have had with her in the past couldn't be any good. Jeongyeon angrily added another reason
to the list of things why she hated her now.

"Okay, but that was amazing, really." Tzuyu greeted her just as excitedly as the rest.

"Fuck, yeah! You were a total badass." Chaeyoung agreed and Mina blushed.

"Well, I'm sorry for whatever you went through with Jennie in the past, but I'm glad you were able
to do something about it now." Jihyo, ever so kind, assured Mina by placing hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, me too." Mina kept talking, the adrenaline still coursing through her veins. "Look, I
understand that you guys have a rivalry going on and all, but like- what's wrong with her? I thought
people matured over time but she just seems to have gotten even worse."

"They don't have any boundaries!" Dahyun grumbled. "Especially Jennie. Every time she feels like
she's losing she jumps in with the personal and invasive attacks."

"But you don't have to worry, Mina, we'll deal with whatever consequences it might have
together." Jeongyeon finally spoke up. "You got our back, we've got yours too."

"Thanks." She nodded, finally starting to calm down.

"Oh, no, thank you!" Sana replied with sparkling eyes.

"Hold on, is your dad really a donor?" Momo asked, suddenly interested.

"Yes, but he'd never get me out of trouble for hitting someone. He'd probably support whatever
punishment I got." Mina giggled like it was actually funny, not seeming the least bit concerned.
She seemed proud of herself, actually. And rightly so, Jeongyeon was too. "But still, I thought it
was worth a try. Maybe she might not say anything if she thinks I have this kind of back up."

"Smart, you're a smart girl." Jihyo confidently remarked, a satisfied smile making its way back to
her face. "I doubt she'll file a formal complaint after all of that. I think she must be embarrassed
enough."

All of a sudden Nayeon loudly cleared her throat. She was looking at Jeongyeon again while the
rest of them were looking at her.

"I'm sorry it's come to this." Nayeon looked away, glancing at the other girls around. "I didn't think
she'd go that far. I thought she'd just prank us back, but that was just way out of line. So I'm really
sorry."

"It's not your fault if she can't handle being on the receiving end of the same shit she does."
Jeongyeon assured before she even realized she was speaking. She knew that every time Jennie felt
like she was losing, she tried to use her opponents' problems and insecurities to get to them. She
had done that before, it wasn't Nayeon's fault.

The others hummed in agreement and Jeongyeon thought that Nayeon's done, but she couldn't have
been more wrong.

"And thank you, Mina." All eyes turned to Nayeon once again. It was probably the first time
Nayeon even said her name out loud. In fact, it was the first time Nayeon acknowledged her
presence at all. "For standing up for Jeongyeon when I couldn't."

Jeongyeon's cheeks got so red that she thought she might explode. Since when did she become a
damsel in distress who needed other people to stand up for her?

"I didn't do it just for her." Mina timidly replied. "Jennie said horrible things about you and Jihyo
too, and well, the whole team in general." They held each other's gaze for a few seconds, not
knowing exactly what to say next. Luckily, someone else spoke up before it could get even more
awkward.

"Well, you just got yourself a beef for the next year, so you're definitely a part of the squad now."
Momo chirped.

"Just one more thing." Sana said before they could move on to the next topic. She handed over an
ice pack she had just gotten for Mina from the kitchen. "How do you feel about marriage? I mean,
 we live together already, so is it too soon...?"

Jeongyeon barked out a laugh and the others followed her lead. Sana was way too silly, but
Jeongyeon couldn't help but wonder how funny it would be if the most unattached person she ever
met would fall that hard for Mina, her own roommate, just because she punched the person they
hated the most.

Jeongyeon wouldn't even blame her if it was true, by the way. That really was hot as hell.

Chapter End Notes

next chapter title is: she decided she'd let the liquid courage do some of the talking
 she'd let the liquid courage do some of the talking
Chapter Summary

"I'm sorry about your injury." It was the first time Jeongyeon was talking about that
with Nayeon. She wished she had done it before but she never had the guts to do so.
Nayeon was there for her when the roles were reversed and Jeongyeon couldn't do the
same, even if it wasn't her choice.

"I don't care about that anymore."

"You don't care or you pretend not to?" Yeah, Nayeon knew her well, of course, but
Jeongyeon also had her own experience with the older girl.

"I don't care, really. At least not as much as everyone thinks." Nayeon replied after
considering the question for a few seconds. "Mostly because at the end of the day,
soccer wasn't even remotely the worst thing I lost."

Chapter Notes

i'm sorry in advance

See the end of the chapter for more notes

A couple of days later Sana spent an entire fucking hour pestering Jeongyeon to get Mina to play
spin the bottle. All so she'd have a chance to make out with Mina without it having to mean
anything or risking making things awkward between them - in Sana's words, not hers. Jeongyeon
just laughed it off and told her to quit being an idiot, but still, Sana didn't give up so easily. Which
was weird because as far as Jeongyeon knew, Sana had a pretty strict rule about not getting
"romantically" involved with her roommates.

It was a Sunday afternoon and the team was having a small party at the Beach House, the place
where Jihyo and a good part of the squad resided as members of the sports community.

Jihyo had tried to get Jeongyeon to move in to the Beach House with her in the previous year since
her plans to move in with Nayeon were then already, but the captain didn't manage to convince her.
Instead, Jeongyeon and Momo rented an apartment just outside the campus and she never once
regretted that decision.

Jeongyeon appreciated the peace and quiet of the building she lived in, something she wouldn't
have if she were to reside in the team's partying hotspot. Jihyo's choice wasn't made because of
their party situation, but as the next in line to be the team's new captain, she felt like she needed to
be closer to the rest of her girls so she could watch over them and take care of them more
effectively. That's why she decided to move to the Beach House at the beginning of their
sophomore year.

The reward came right at the end of season, when the last captain graduated and Jihyo was made
the new one even despite the incident with Jennie. It almost ruined her chances, but at least it was
just an almost. If Jihyo really had been wronged like that because of that occurrence, Jeongyeon
was sure she'd never forgive herself and she'd also definitely kill Jennie in the process.

That was the first party Jeongyeon was attending since Nayeon's return, and a voice in the back of
her mind was already telling her that something was going to go wrong. She just didn't expect it to
go that badly. And the worst part was that even if she knew, looking back now she still wouldn't
change a thing.

Jeongyeon still found it strange to think about just how much things had changed since the day she
received her text when she was in that very same house.

She and Nayeon weren't friends. No, not at all. But the dynamic between them was no longer as
tense as Jeongyeon thought it would be. The goalkeeper didn't exactly hate having her around. Was
it awkward? Of course! But in some ways, having her so close was somehow comfortable
compared to the bad things she used to feel right after Nayeon left.

Not knowing where she was or how she was doing after her departure used to made Jeongyeon
anxious for a really long time, since a part of her, the part she still constantly struggled with, never
stopped caring about Nayeon and her well being. Now at least she was right there, she was close.
Safe and sound, apparently. Even with that injury and all.

Speaking of which, the injury in question remained a mystery to everyone in the gang. But that's
none of their business, Jeongyeon reminded herself as she not so discreetly watched Nayeon dance
with Joy and Yerim in the big living room.

Seeing her like that - free, loose, perky, and by the looks of it, slightly drunk - reminded Jeongyeon
of the freshman version of Nayeon; the one Jeongyeon was once so in love with.

"I bet she'll tell you if you ask." Momo blurted out as if she was reading her thoughts.

"Tell me what?" Jeongyeon played dumb.

"What's this injury she told us about, duh. From what she said, it sounds like it's something recent.
How come she can't play but can dance like that?"

"She was on the kitchen table earlier, did you see?" Dahyun excitedly asked.

"No, I didn't." Jeongyeon replied as the younger girl filled her glass with beer. She had dropped out
of babysitting duties for today, leaving the task to Jihyo who was nowhere to be seen. "Thank you,
Hyun. And no, Momo, I won't ask. It's none of my business."

"But I wanna knooowww." Momo whined and Dahyun kissed the corner of her lips, finding her
girlfriend's tone cute. The three of them were settled on a two-seater sofa, so Momo had Dahyun
comfortably settled on her lap.

"She's your friend, you ask her." Jeongyeon argued.

"I did but she won't tell me. She said she doesn't like to talk about it or whatever." Momo answered
without looking at her, she was busy placing kisses all over Dahyun's face. Jeongyeon cringed and
made vomiting noises, but they both ignored her.

"Why'd she tell me then?"

"Ah, Jeongyeon, c'mon." Dahyun scoffed, trying to escape Momo's attacks to continue the
conversation.

"What?" Jeongyeon crossed her arms, sulking. She was about to get up to leave that couch just for
the two of them.

"She's like- you know, incapable of saying no to you." Dahyun replied seriously, as if it was
obvious.

"She literally broke up with me." Jeongyeon sulked even deeper.

"Yeah, whatever, but she still got it bad for you." Momo said with a loose grin on her face, the
same grin that'd always show up whenever she was starting to get tipsy. Then she brought her
hands to her face, covering her mouth as if she just realized she said something she shouldn't.

"You're talking shit already, maybe it's time to quit drinking." Jeongyeon took a sip of her beer as
she pondered the easiest way to escape. Drunk Momo was even more annoying than sober Momo,
and drunk Momo would definitely be Dahyun's problem to deal with, not hers.

"You say that because you've been avoiding her like the plague. If you paid more attention you'd
know that even the way she looks at you could probably give me cavities." Okay, so Dahyun was
drunk too, right? Fuck it, let them take care of each other.

"Listen to them, hotshot." Sana popped up out of the blue, taking a seat in the place she found most
convenient: Jeongyeon's lap. She squirmed around until she was feeling comfortable enough,
intertwining her arms around the goalkeeper's neck. "If the most insufferable couple we know
thinks Nayeon's into you, what do you think it means?

"It doesn't mean anything." She flatly answered, not hesitating for a second. Jeongyeon tried to
shake Sana off her, but the grip she had around her neck was way too strong. "They're drunk. Stop
playing along with them."

"Who's drunk already?" Mina asked as she approached. Sana immediately let go of Jeongyeon and
awkwardly stood up, greeting Mina with an atypical coy grin that didn't suit her at all. It even made
the other three girls look at each other in a synchronized bemused confusion.

"I saved the best seat in the house for you." Sana pointed at Jeongyeon's lap and got a giggle out of
the girl who had just arrived.

"I'm good, thanks." Mina politely declined. "I just got into Nayeon's good side, I'm not risking
being the subject of her wrath again."

"See?" Dahyun cut in with a wry victorious smile.

"What the fuck are you guys talking about? Nayeon and I don't have anything to do with each other
anymore." The goalkeeper protested again, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"Does she know that?" Sana joined the teasing with the couple she judged so much.

"I'm pretty sure she does since she's the one who ended it." It came out way bitter than she meant
and Jeongyeon almost regretted it since the silence that followed her statement was a bit awkward.
Sana and Mina each sat on one arm of the couch, Sana by Momo's and Mina by Jeongyeon's side.

"How are you feeling now that she's back?" Momo seemed to have sobered up a bit. "You never
talk about her, I don't know how to help."
"I don't have anything to talk about." It wasn't exactly a lie. Jeongyeon felt plenty of things, but did
she want to talk about it? No, not at all.

Not with Momo, not with Jihyo, not with anyone, it wasn't personal. Not even with herself, if she
was being honest. She was just doing her best to ignore how utterly familiar the presence of the
girl who once chose to hurt her was; trying not to think about how eager she started to get for
practices and how she couldn't wait to make it to the group lunches everyday.

"Are you sure?" Mina held Jeongyeon's free hand. The goalkeeper had been talking a little about
Nayeon with Mina, but nothing too deep since even she herself didn't know how she felt.

"Yes, I am. You guys don't have to worry about me." Jeongyeon intertwined their fingers to assure
her, but was careful enough not to hurt Mina's hand which was still a little bruised. Then she cast a
confident glance at her friends on the other side. "I'm still trying to figure some things out, but I'm
getting used to her being around now, so I think it's okay."

"She still likes you." Sana unceremoniously put it out there. Her voice was serious now, unlike the
teasing tone she and Dahyun had used earlier. Momo shot an exasperated look at Sana, who just
shrugged in return. "What? She has the right to know."

"Know what exactly?" Jeongyeon hated it when people talked about her as if she wasn't there.

"If she's still trying to figure it out like she said, I think it might help." Dahyun backed Sana up and
worriedly glanced at Momo, who still looked aggrieved.

"When Nayeon comes for our heads, let her know that I had nothing to do with it." Momo
shrugged and Sana rolled her eyes.

"You know I can actually listen to you, right?" Jeongyeon was getting impatient.

"I can't tell if she never stopped or if the feeling actually went away and is back now, but everyone
can see that she likes you, Jeong." The goalkeeper shook her head but Mina squeezed her hand as a
sign that she should just shut up and listen as Sana kept talking. "Nayeon's always looking at you
as if you're the only person in the world. She keeps seeking you out when we're on the field and she
also struggles not to stare at you anytime we're in the cafeteria. Every time you speak she
practically stops whatever she's doing to listen to you, clinging to every word you say as if
whatever is coming out of your mouth is the most important thing she's ever heard - not that it isn't,
of course." Because Sana was Sana, she obviously had to add that last part. "My point is that it's
like we're in freshman year again, princess. I was there, I know what it's like."

"It doesn't make sense." She shook her head again.

"And she's been avoiding being the center of attention every time you're around because she thinks
her presence still makes you uncomfortable. I think she doesn't want you to feel- I don't know, out
of place? With your own friends." The tone Sana was using made it pretty clear that even she
herself didn't like what she was saying. "Come on, Jeong, this is Nayeon we're talking about. Have
you ever seen her try to make herself smaller so as not to bother someone? That's the kind of thing
she'd only do for you."

"She's only doing that because she feels guilty." Jeongyeon argued.

"She was ready to throw hands with Jennie for you the other day." Dahyun pointed out.

"She would never miss an opportunity to fight Jennie. She hates her as much as Sana and I do, if
not more." The goalkeeper kept trying to invalidate every argument her friends presented.
"Jeongyeon, you know that's not all it is." Mina joined the gang that was out to get her. Even you,
Judas? "My opinion is unbiased. You're my friend, not her. I didn't know you before, but I have
some insight after hearing everything you've told me about her so far."

"And what's your impartial verdict, Judge Myoui?" Jeongyeon boldly asked with way more bite
than she had ever used against Mina. Deep down she was afraid of the answer; not quite able to
assimilate everything that's being thrown at her just yet.

"It's simple. She likes you." Mina softly replied and Jeongyeon chugged the remaining liquid in her
cup all at once. Her grip in Mina's hand got tighter and her heart did the same. It clenched.

"You don't have to reciprocate." Sana hastily added. "She was a jerk to you. I, for one, think you
deserve better. But I know you must have a lot of things going on right now and your few
remaining brain cells are surely running and screaming inside your head, so I think you deserve to
know the whole truth to decide for yourself how you wanna go from here."

"The thing is that if you could at least look at her for more than three seconds, I'm sure you
would've figured that out on your own since no one knows her better than you." Momo
unabashedly revealed. Apparently she had thrown out the window all caution and concern
regarding Nayeon's possible retaliation. "But the fact that you can't even look at her for too long
enough tells us that you either still like her or you hate her a lot more than we thought."

Jeongyeon gulped, wishing her cup was still full so she could distract herself somehow. She felt the
four girls' gazes on her, but didn't know what to do or what to say.

"Anyway, I also think you deserve to know the truth, that's all." Momo continued her reasoning.
"And she won't tell you that since she thinks you're with Mina now."

"Me- me and Mina aren't a thing." She stammered as she let go of Mina's hand. She didn't even
know what she was trying to prove, but she needed to say it out loud. Mina took no offense in that
act, of course, she knew Jeongyeon was kind of freaking out. "No, I mean- we're friends, that's all."
The goalkeeper hurried to correct herself, didn't want to sound uncaring.

"But Nayeon doesn't know that." Dahyun mentioned trying to sound casual. "Jihyo has forbidden
us to discuss anything about it with Nayeon, she said you guys have to work it out yourselves."

"We don't have anything to work out."

"Sure, keep saying that to yourself." Sana scoffed and was punched by Momo in response.

"This is not an appropriate time for jokes." Momo scolded her.

"I- I have an assignment due tomorrow. Shit, I almost forgot." Jeongyeon lied and stood up
awkwardly as the other two bickered beside her. "Gotta go now but I'll talk to you guys later."

Jeongyeon felt like she was stuck, but even though her legs seemed to move on their own. She
glanced at where Nayeon was hanging out a few minutes ago but the girl was no longer there,
thankfully.

She needed some fresh air in order not to implode within her own feelings. But maybe imploding
wouldn't be so bad after all, at least she wouldn't have to deal with all that. She was already by the
door when a hand grabbed her wrist before she could reach for the knob.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"I don't know, Mina." Jeongyeon was honest. The way Mina made her open up without even trying
still scared her sometimes.

"Can I go with you? I can keep you company." Mina searched for her eyes but Jeongyeon avoided
her gaze. She was sure they were glistening at that point and the goalkeeper didn't want her to see
that.

"N-no, I don't-"

"Are you sure? You won't even know I'm there. Or I can help you with your- uh, assignment." She
tried like she didn't know Jeongyeon was lying.

Jeongyeon appreciated the concern, she truly did. It was almost unbelievable how important Mina
had become to her just in the past few weeks they'd known each other, especially since she had
never been one to connect with anyone that easily. But with Mina, that feeling was very welcome.

Still, all Jeongyeon wanted was to be strong enough to admit that she may need some help; she
wanted to say she needed a shoulder to cry on, or rather someone to unburden and translate the
feelings she didn't know how to handle. Well, actually, just a shoulder to cry on seemed pretty
good right about now, but she just couldn't do it. All she did was just hug Mina tightly to try to
show just how much she appreciated her concern.

"I wanna be alone." Back to lying it is. After releasing her, Jeongyeon kept one of her hands on
Mina's shoulder. "We'll talk tomorrow, okay? You can't hang out alone now that you have a whole
gang after you."

Mina smiled but the conflict in her eyes was crystal clear. Jeongyeon just hoped she wouldn't insist
and whatever superior force up there finally seemed to listen to her prayers for once.

"Call me if you need anything."

Jeongyeon nodded and left the Beach House. She walked aimlessly for a while before
remembering a quiet place where she could stay off the radar for a while. She didn't want to go
home since Momo would probably look for her soon. If not her roommate, she knew sooner or
later Jihyo would get wind of what happened and try to look for her as well. Anywhere else on
campus would be too crowded on a busy Sunday. So fuck it, there was only one place she could go.

Her mind felt like an overheated electronic device and she just wanted to make it stop. So
Jeongyeon stopped by a convenience store before letting her feet guide her to the university's social
sciences building. It was the oldest and smallest of all Yonsei's lecture buildings, but it was still her
second favorite place on campus. Jeongyeon went up to the fourth, and last floor and unlatched the
rooftop door in the way only they knew how.

Once up there, she turned off her phone before opening one of the bottles she had bought. Then she
propped her elbows on the ledge, leaning over to look at the view as she took a few sips of her
drink and watched from afar her very first favorite place on campus: the soccer field.

She was trying very hard not to think about the girl who supposedly liked her, but obviously all that
effort was in vain. Just by trying not to think about her, she was already thinking about her, after
all.

Fuck that shit.

Then Nayeon liked her? So what?

Goddammit, she was trying to get over Nayeon, wasn't she? What's she supposed to do with that
information?

No, wait- why should Jeongyeon even believe what those girls were saying? They were probably
all drunk and she had a whole year worth of heartbreak to prove that Nayeon didn't care.

Jeongyeon let her mind wander for hours as she watched the people coming and going down there.
Even heard some laughter and stories she knew weren't meant for her, but she couldn't care less.
Her college classmates' dramas seemed so much simpler compared to hers, that at some point she
even felt jealousy that they had more mundane problems. Bad grades, fights with roommates and
crushes on professors? Yeah, she could deal with that.

She watched the sunset and lost track of time up there. After a few hours it was just her, the stars,
and the typical cool breeze after a hot day that she'd grown familiar with since she moved to Seoul.

Jeongyeon wished she had brought a coat, but she had no way of knowing how her night would end
when she left her apartment with Momo for a little social gathering that afternoon. At least the
alcohol in her veins was helping to dull the cold.

When the door behind her back was opened she didn't even bother to look back to see who it was.
Only two other people knew about that place and one of them had retired the previous year.
Jeongyeon remembered the kind janitor who had taught them the trick of lifting the door when
pushing it open to unlatched the entrance to the rooftop and wished he was enjoying a nice
vacation beside his wife on some tropical beach, just as he said he would before he left.

And the other person- well, she was exactly the reason for her tremendous headache.

"Hey." She called out in a low, careful tone, but Jeongyeon didn't answer.

Nayeon walked in slowly and carefully, taking every detail in as if she was doing a recon mission.
Like she had never been there before.

She spotted a bottle of soju resting in Jeongyeon's hand and several others laid around on the floor,
some properly placed in the crate. Nayeon couldn't tell how many were still unopened and how
many were already empty, but the rosy cheeks of the girl she found lying on one of the two beach
chairs they had brought up there during their freshman year gave her a good hint.

Jeongyeon had always been very fond of good booze, her favorite being beer. She liked to drink
when she hung out with her friends or have some to relax after a particularly tiring day, but usually
she wasn't very keen on drinking alone. When she did that, it was usually because she had too
many things to forget, nothing to enjoy or appreciate. So her preference was soju since it did the
trick faster.

"Sorry to barge in like this. Jihyo was worried after you disappeared and Mina said you looked
kind of upset when you left, which only made Jihyo even more nervous." She kept a safe distance
and waited a bit to see if Jeongyeon would say anything. In the face of silence, she continued. "She
tried to call you a few times but it went straight to voicemail. So she basically put a bounty on her
head even though Momo said something about you needing some time alone. You know how she
is, Jihyo's driving everyone crazy."

It definitely sounded like something Jihyo would do. Jeongyeon knew that if she had texted Jihyo
to tell her that she needed some time off, the younger girl would most certainly understand. The
captain usually respected her wishes, but she always got worried when she heard these kinds of
things from other people. Jeongyeon couldn't even blame her for caring too much since she also
knew she'd do the same if it was the other way around.

And as a result of her lack of communication, Jeongyeon had to face the consequences of her
actions. The consequence in question was Im Nayeon. The worst of them all, as far as she was
concerned.

"When she didn't find you in your apartment I figured that maybe you could be here because...
well, you know, you always liked it here. And I even thought about sending Jihyo instead of
coming myself, but we had that rule and I didn't know if you'd want anyone else to know about this
place."

Our place, Jeongyeon mentally corrected. That place was theirs and theirs alone, and the rule was
to keep it that way. A secret. Their secret. Thinking about those moments now, it almost felt like it
had happened in another life.

The janitor found them both restless and stressed, sitting on the building's busy staircase while each
of them tried to read their own textbooks. They had their hands clasped together to offer each other
some kind of comfort since Jeongyeon always went to the building where Nayeon had most of her
classes so that they could spend some time together even while studying. Feeling sorry for the
girls, he offered to show them a place where they could study in peace: the rooftop.

Jeongyeon was pretty sure he only did that because Nayeon had always been very kind to him.
Most often that not, she stayed late to study after classes, so she'd end up bumping into the janitor
and chatting about their soccer season on her way out.

"Whatever." Jeongyeon spoke up for the first time. Her voice was hoarse since she hadn't uttered a
single word since she left the party.

"I'll text her and say that you're alright, okay?" Alright? Was she alright?

Nayeon took her phone out of her pocket and lifted it to show it to the goalkeeper as a heads-up. It
was almost as if she was in a hostage situation where she had to announce her every move. Not that
it made any difference, anyway, Jeongyeon hadn't looked at Nayeon yet. Her eyes were fixed on
the sky.

"What time is it?" Jeongyeon wondered.

"Almost midnight." Yep, she really had lost track of time. Jihyo's concern made even more sense
now and guilt hit hard on the goalkeeper's conscience. She made a mental note to apologize as soon
as she had a chance.

"Tell her I'm fine, I just wanna be alone."

Nayeon sent a quick text before she locked her phone, slipped it into her pocket and moved the
second beach chair into position for her to sit. She wasn't exactly close, but even so Jeongyeon
could already feel the temperature change since Nayeon was blocking out the cold breeze.

They were quiet for what felt like the longest time before Nayeon finally broke the silence.

"I haven't seen Mr. Shin since I got back."

"He retired last year."

"Oh, that's awesome! I mean, I wish I'd had the chance to say goodbye, but I'm glad for him." Upon
hearing that Jeongyeon's hands clenched her fists. Sure, the janitor deserved a goodbye, but not
her? Not her fucking girlfriend?

Ex-girlfriend. Whatever.

"Maybe you should send him a letter." Jeongyeon shot back. Nayeon pursed her lips as if she had
been physically hurt, but again the goalkeeper wasn't looking at her to notice. Another minute went
by in silence and Jeongyeon could feel Nayeon shivering coldly beside her.

"I-" She started but Jeongyeon wasn't in the mood to listen to any excuse she'd come up with at that
time.

"Go home, Nayeon. It's cold, you're shivering."

"You don't wanna be alone, Jeong. You say that you do, but I know you don't."

"And you think I wanna be with you?" That's exactly what she wanted, but not under those
circumstances.

"Okay." Nayeon stood up sniffling and Jeongyeon chose to believe it was because of the cold. "Do
you want me to call someone? I know Jihyo can be a lot sometimes, but there is also Sana, Momo
or... maybe Mina?" Saying that last name seemed to take a lot of effort from Nayeon.

"Just- just let me be." She hoped that would be the cue for Nayeon to leave, but unfortunately her
ex-girlfriend did know her like no one else. She knew that the more Jeongyeon pushed people
away, the more she needed company. But why couldn't she understand that her company was
exactly what put Jeongyeon in that situation in the first place?

"Mina seems like a nice girl." Okay, so they were doing that now? Really?

Nayeon crossed her arms to try to lessen the coolness and leaned against the ledge, her back to the
view, facing the goalkeeper. Jeongyeon only spared her a quick glance before staring back up at
the stars, mostly because she hated it when Nayeon did that. It's both foolish and dangerous.

"She is." That's all she said in return. Jeongyeon was fighting the urge to tell Nayeon to sit down
again.

"Are you happy?" Another escalation. Yeah, of course. But it didn't surprise Jeongyeon in the
slightest because Nayeon was not the kind of person who held back. The goalkeeper suspected that
the real question Nayeon wanted to ask was whether Mina made her happy, but at least then she
controlled herself on that point.

But... was she happy? The question did make her think.

Jeongyeon was attending her dream college along with friends whom she really loved. She was
part of one of the best varsity teams in the country and although she no longer had any expectations
of going pro, she loved playing for Yonsei and doing what she loved most. On top of that, she was
still getting the degree she wanted and if she was being honest, with each passing day she was
realizing that she could be very good at it. Her counselor strongly believed that she could get a
position in the grad school program she wanted as soon as she graduated and she was looking
forward to that.

So everything was fine. It wasn't according to her initial plan, but it was fine. Why wouldn't she be
happy?

"Are you?" Jeongyeon could only return the question. She didn't want to lie, much less tell the
truth.

"Not really." That's understandable. Someone who just had her dream career destroyed by an injury
shouldn't be happy.

Jeongyeon had been in that position before, she knew better than anyone how much it hurt. But
that matter was already in the past for her, justifying her current unhappiness with a broken heart
seemed too small compared to the recent destruction of Nayeon's childhood dream.

"I'm sorry about your injury." It was the first time Jeongyeon was talking about that with Nayeon.
She wished she had done it before but she never had the guts to do so. Nayeon was there for her
when the roles were reversed and Jeongyeon couldn't do the same, even if it wasn't her choice.

"I don't care about that anymore."

"You don't care or you pretend not to?" Yeah, Nayeon knew her well, of course, but Jeongyeon
also had her own experience with the older girl.

"I don't care, really. At least not as much as everyone thinks." Nayeon replied after considering the
question for a few seconds. "Mostly because at the end of the day, soccer wasn't even remotely the
worst thing I lost."

Jeongyeon looked at her for the first time that night and as expected Nayeon's gaze was already
burning over her. Several unspoken words between them. None of them broke eye contact this time
around.

"Today's the first time I really wished you hadn't come back." Jeongyeon blurted out the blue,
unable to hold herself. She decided she'd let the liquid courage do some of the talking.
"Everything's so messed up right now and I feel pathetic for even caring about it."

"You're not." Nayeon replied right away. Her brow furrowed as she was taken aback by the
goalkeeper's sudden earnestness.

Nayeon had been wanting to have an honest chat with Jeongyeon ever since she came back, but
knowing how stubborn her ex-girlfriend could be and after the outcome of their last serious one-on-
one talk, the older girl decided that she'd wait for Jeongyeon to come to her. That is, if she even
wanted to.

She expected Jeongyeon to go through the phase of ignoring her altogether to the stage of throwing
barbs at her - maybe just like Sana - before they could actually talk, but that's not what happened.
Being faced with sincerity coming from the younger girl so soon was something she definitely
didn't expect, but she welcomed nevertheless.

"But that's how I feel."

"I'm truly sorry about that. I meant it." Nayeon's voice was breaking and Jeongyeon cursed herself
for wishing she could hold her right now.

But since she was already there, with her head full and her heart troubled, why not stop trying to
avoid the inevitable and just take the band-aid off once and for all? At least with all the
information she could think more clearly about her next step. Maybe with a little effort Jeongyeon
could find out if the things her friends told her earlier were really true.

Jeongyeon chugged the rest of the liquid over before setting the empty bottle on the floor and
standing up all in one go. Her head spun a little as she felt the full weight of her body on her feet.
She definitely had too much to drink, but nothing she couldn't handle.

"Why did you come back, Nayeon?"

"I already told you-"

"You could've stayed at Stanford even with your injury!" Jeongyeon interrupted. She didn't believe
what Nayeon had said the other day about not wanting to leave and was now determined to find
out the truth. "They couldn't take away your scholarship because of an injury after you were in. I
know, I looked it up." She didn't even bother to hide the fact that she had gone as far as researched
it. What did she have to lose, anyway?

"Jeongyeon..."

"You said you wanted to help. Make the situation better or whatever. That's how you can help me,
by telling the truth." She just put it out there, fighting the lump in her throat.

"I- don't... shit, I-" Nayeon hugged herself even tighter, but this time it wasn't because of the cold.
Jeongyeon watched the older girl open and close her mouth a few time but nothing came out.

"You also said you would be ready to talk when I was. Did you really mean it or was it just another
one of your lies?"

"Lies?" She frowned and pushed herself out from the ledge, moving a little closer.

"Yeah. Like when you said that bullshit about wishing you could have stayed in Yonsei the day
you came to see me and then the very next day you told me you didn't regret leaving."

"That wasn't a lie! Both of these things are true. What I meant was that I wish the reason why I had
to go didn't exist. Maybe I phrased it wrong, but-"

"So you're saying you wish you'd never gotten the scholarship? Damn it, Nayeon, you make it
sound like it's a bad thing when it really could've been a career brust for you."

"It's not that simple." She shook her head and started to pace, frustration clear in her moves.

"I rooted for you. I'd have supported you like a good girlfriend would! Hell, even just as a friend.
I'd never be mad at you for leaving if you at least... just- dammit, I thought we were on the same
page! I thought I meant as much to you as you meant to me!"

"You did! You do, actually!" There was a certain urgency in Nayeon's words. "It's just... fuck, it's
complicated, Jeongyeon. You have no idea how just much-"

"Then tell me! Help me understand! That's all I'm asking for: the truth." The goalkeeper dared to
step forward. Her heart was beating so hard that she thought it'd burst out of her chest.

"I can't-"

"You promised, Nayeon." Jeongyeon repeated. Her voice sounded louder and colder than she
would've liked, but alcohol and hopelessness were never a good mix; it prevented her from
thinking any better.

The tension was almost tangible. Their gazes were still fixed on each other, serious expressions
and frowning faces. It felt like it was a challenge and whoever broke eye contact first would lose.

It didn't take long until Nayeon sorrowfully accepted her defeat.

 She stopped in her tracks. Released a long, tired and stifled sigh as she stared at the ground. The
next words that'd leave her mouth would take all the air out of Jeongyeon's lungs, but that's okay
because at that moment she felt like she needed answers way more than she ever needed to breathe.

"I never went to Stanford."

Chapter End Notes

:)
 and that's when she screwed everything up
Chapter Summary

"You can't do this, Nayeon." Jeongyeon sat up straight, turned to the side and faced
the girl sternly as she shook her head.

"What?"

"Say things like that. Insinuate that losing me is worse than you not being able to play
anymore. Implying that you're back because of me. You just can't." It gives me too
much hope, a hope I don't wanna have. She almost added.

"I'm just being honest."

"Now you wanna talk about honesty?"

Chapter Notes

:)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"I never went to Stanford."

The words echoed in the back of Jeongyeon's mind. It was like she had been hit and she was forced
to step back to keep her balance.

Nayeon wasn't serious, was she? If she had gotten a scholarship to Stanford why on earth would
she go anywhere else?

"You're lying." It wasn't a question. It came out like a choked out whisper.

"I'm not, I swear." Nayeon took a step forward and nodded to emphasize her words. Jeongyeon saw
it in her eyes that she wasn't lying this time, but it only made her feel even more sick.

Jeongyeon had spent a really long time trying to believe that Nayeon had only broken up with her
because of distance. It was the best case scenario at the time, at least it was better than believing
that the person she loved the most no longer had feelings for her. Even if that phase had passed and
she had accepted that it was more than that, still, if Nayeon didn't go to Stanford, then what the hell
happened? Did she really just want an excuse to put an end to everything they had?

"So you just wanted to leave?" A shallow laugh escaped her trembling lips. "You wanted an excuse
to break up so badly that you just moved away?"

"No! Of course not, I really had to go."

"Why?"
Nayeon shifted her gaze back up but not at her, through her, avoiding her eyes once again.
Jeongyeon chose to ignore the tears she saw running down her ex-girlfriend's cheeks.

"I needed to spend some time with my mom."

"Your mother?!" That had to be another lie, right? Another one for the list, Jeongyeon thought.
"Come on, you hate her."

"I don't hate her, our relationship is just complicated." Nayeon crossed her arms defensively.

"She abandoned you, Nayeon. And then she let you down several times after that."

"I don't need to be reminded."

"My point is that you had decided to leave that part of your life behind, hadn't you? So why would
you do that? Make it make sense!"

"Because-" Nayeon raised her voice, but then stopped abruptly. Took a deep breath as soon as she
realized she had gotten too worked up and lowered her tone before speaking again. "Because I
needed her."

Okay, that seemed less and less realistic by the second. She wanted to push it further until she got
the truth out of her, but Jeongyeon always knew that Nayeon's mother was a sensitive topic. It'd be
way too low to press and force her to talk about it. Even after everything Nayeon put her through,
she'd never do that to her.

"And why didn't you just tell me the truth? Why'd you lie and say that you were going to the
goddamn United States?"

"I never said I was going to Stanford, Jeong. You all just assumed that's where I was because of the
scholarship." Nayeon flatly answered.

Wait, what the fuck? Did she just- what...?

"But in your letter-" Jeongyeon tried to reason.

"Read it again, I never said that."

As if she needed to fucking read it again, like Nayeon suggested. Jeongyeon knew every word by
heart.

With a little effort she went over Nayeon's goodbye piece inside her mind. If she hadn't had so
much to drink she surely wouldn't even need to try that hard, but the truth was... fuck, Nayeon
never really said where she was going.

Damn it, Jeongyeon, how the hell did you miss that? She frowned even deeper and looked at what
she could still see of the soccer field as her mind wandered.

"Nayeon..." Her voice was tired when she met the older girl's eyes again. Jeongyeon didn't want to
dig into anything else, she just wanted- no, she needed answers. "What the hell happened then?"

Nayeon went silent for quite a while and Jeongyeon just let her think. She thought her ex-girlfriend
was thinking of the best way to tell the truth once and for all, however once again she was wrong.

"Do- do you remember when we broke up back in high school?" Nayeon stared at her own hands.
"What??" It was a knee-jerk reaction. Her eyes went wide and she couldn't believe Nayeon was
talking about it in a moment like that.

"Do you?" She insisted.

"Of course I do." The 'I still regret it' got stuck in the back of her throat. "Why are you talking
about it now?"

"I felt like my heart had been literally ripped out of my chest that day." Nayeon's voice cracked
mid-sentence and Jeongyeon felt as if her own heart was being torn apart right there.

"Nayeon." Jeongyeon let her name roll out of her tongue not was a simple call, but rather a plea for
her to stop. She hated to think about that. Hated it back in the past and hated it even more now.

While they were still dating, after they got back together after said breakup, they had talked about
it several times until they both felt comfortable enough with the matter, but after a while it wasn't
brought up anymore. Not that it was some kind of forbidden topic or anything like that, they were
just over it already. That is, until now, apparently.

Even though Jeongyeon had to acknowledge that every time they did talk about it, Nayeon used the
word "we" instead of pinning all the blame on Jeongyeon because she knew how she still felt bad
about the whole thing. But Jeongyeon also knew that it was all her fault, anyway, she was sure she
was the one to blame. Yet, after all this time, Nayeon still took the blame off her shoulders, even if
only a little.

Nevertheless, the goalkeeper didn't understand why Nayeon was bringing it up again. Especially
now that Nayeon was the one who broke her heart. But then a horrible thought crossed her mind.

So that's what this is all about? Revenge? A stupid vendetta?

No, no. Nayeon wouldn't do that.

Would she?

Jeongyeon closed her eyes tightly, holding back the tears. Couldn't help but remember the events
that led to that unfortunate circumstance in the past.

It was their senior year of high school, both were looking forward to and making plans for college.
They had the same dream college in mind. A while dream life, actually, all planned out together.

As freshmen they would have to stay in the college dorms for the first two semesters, as required
by the institution. But in the following year they would be able to get an apartment and move in
together as they'd always wanted to. They just had to wait a little longer, it wasn't as if everything
would change in just one year, right? There was nothing to worry about.

Nevertheless, the couple had already heard dozens of discouraging stories about how other pairs
break up during their college years.

It's tiring. It gets too hard. It can be exhausting. You get other priorities. The relationship becomes
monotonous.

Always the same thing, the same stupid speech, but they were sure this wouldn't happen to them.
They believed that all of that was just the lame excuses that people who didn't love each other
anymore used to split up.
And they did love each other, after all, they loved each other way too much to let that be their fate.
They would be together until the end because they were Nayeon and Jeongyeon, for fucks sake,
they were meant for each other. Or so that's what they thought.

Even though they pursued different majors they still had the soccer team in common. Both were
confident that they could handle it and that everything would be alright. Just a few more months
and they'd be taking the next step together to the rest of their lives just as they had dreamed for the
past year. All they had to do was wait for the admission letters to arrive.

Nayeon's letters started arriving first and she couldn't have been happier. Therefore, her girlfriend
was glad too because if Nayeon was happy, Jeongyeon would always be two-times happier.

Nayeon was accepted not only in the college they wanted to attend, Yonsei University, but also in
five others. Three of them being the ones she had also applied to and two more by invitation.
Nayeon was surprised by it but Jeongyeon wasn't. Of course colleges would be fighting over her,
Nayeon was the best striker in the area and Jeongyeon couldn't be prouder. She loved Nayeon so
much she celebrated every achievement of hers as if it was her own.

Jeongyeon's letters also started to arrive, one every week and four in total. With each delivery she
would call Nayeon excitedly to tell her the good news just as Nayeon did when she got her own.

However, nearer the end of the school year, Jeongyeon's letter from Yonsei hadn't arrived yet.
Nayeon kept saying it'd come, that it was only a matter of time. But after another week of waiting
Jeongyeon was no longer so sure. Eventually, being the anxious wreck she was, she lost all of her
hope and panicked.

Jeongyeon broke up with Nayeon a month before graduation. Needless to say, it's the worst
decision of her life.

She was walking Nayeon home in silence and her girlfriend knew something was wrong. But
Nayeon wanted to enjoy Jeongyeon's company, so she didn't say anything, just intertwined their
fingers halfway.

The goalkeeper had been mopey all day long and didn't pay attention to any of their classes. She
made a lot of mistakes during practice and ignored her teammates' attempts to cheer her up in the
locker room. No matter how many times Nayeon asked, she simply wouldn't tell her what was
going on.

Jeongyeon hadn't planned anything, it all happened in a single desperate moment. She was tired of
waiting, feeling both overwhelmed and disappointed in herself for being responsible for ruining all
the plans they had made together.

During the admission interview, Jeongyeon obviously had come clean about her injury
background. Although her performances were still at a high level, Yonsei's staff probably thought it
best not to take that risk with her.

She should've known better, it was too foolish to even think she'd make it. Yonsei deserved better
and so did Nayeon. Maybe she wasn't good enough for her either.

"I'm sorry." Jeongyeon finally blurted out once they reached the porch of Nayeon's house. The
older girl was about to open the front door but Jeongyeon was still standing in the lawn, hadn't even
reached the first step yet. She wouldn't step in, she needed to make it quick.

"What are you sorry about?" Nayeon asked, confused.

"I won't be getting into Yonsei." Jeongyeon couldn't even look at her. Shame and disappointment
would be seen and she couldn't bear her girlfriend looking at her with pity. So instead she kept her
gaze fixed on the door behind her.

"You just have to wait a little longer, babe, a lot of people still haven't g-"

"You've been saying that for a month now, ever since yours arrived. If mine hasn't come in by now
I think it's about time we accepted that it might not come at all."

Nayeon went silent for a moment. Staring at her girlfriend and biting her lower lip as if she was
considering her alternatives. For Jeongyeon, on the other hand, there was nothing else to think
about; there was only one option.

"It's okay if you don't get in, we both got into PNU. We'll go to Busan, it's the second best anyway.
It's settled." She said as plainly as if she was just choosing a movie for them to watch.

"No, Nayeon. I'm going to PNU. You're going to Yonsei. That's always been your dream."

"It's our dream."

"But you're the only one who made it." There was no trace of bitterness or envy in Jeongyeon's
voice. It wasn't like that, it never would be. She was just genuinely sad about letting her down.

If it was any other day, any other matter, Nayeon would've already closed the distance between
them to comfort her with a hug. But Nayeon also knew Jeongyeon better than anyone, so she knew
from her girlfriend's body language that what she needed now was space. So Nayeon gave her
space because that's just who she was, always willing to give Jeongyeon whatever she needed.

However, that time, it wasn't as comfortable as it always had been. It was painful instead.

"Jeong..."

"Nayeon, don't. We're talking about your future here. You got into the best college, you have to
go."

"If you're not going, I'm not going either." She didn't miss a beat.

"That's not how it works." Jeongyeon shook her head.

"That's exactly how it works. You're my girlfriend, I'm not going anywhere without you."

The silence that followed that statement was so suffocating that Jeongyeon felt like she was
underwater, deep in the ocean. It was like all of her senses had been blocked by water and she
couldn't hear, talk, see, and even worse, breathe. She felt like she was trapped and that's when she
screwed everything up.

Her future is what's at stake here, it's not about you, Jeongyeon weighed, just do it already.

"I- I'm not, not anymore." Her voice came out just above a whisper.

"You're not what?" Nayeon asked, confused once again.

Your girlfriend. I'm not your girlfriend. Not anymore, I don't think I can be. Jeongyeon felt like she
was going to throw up, just thinking about those words made her sick. No, she couldn't even phrase
it like that.
"We should break up."

"W-what?" Hearing the crack in her voice was like hearing sharp nails scratching a chalkboard.
Excruciating.

"It- it can be after graduation if you want. I mean, I don't know how these couples who break up
before college do it, but we have to because this... we... it's not going to work." That was the worst
possible way to put it out, but Jeongyeon didn't know how to express herself. She was already
trying hard not to break down right there.

"Do you-" Nayeon stuttered and gulped. "You're breaking up with me?"

No. No. No. No. No. No.

"Yes."

"But Jeong..." She tried to reach for her girlfriend's hand but Jeongyeon yanked it away. She also
made the mistake of looking at Nayeon's face for the first time since they got there. A pretty
serious mistake, by the way, because she'd never be able to forget that look. "We- we can make
this work. Don't you want me to go to Busan with you? PNU is great, too. I don't mind, as long as
we're together we're gonna be okay."

"You can't. You know you'll have a much better chance of going pro if you're playing for Yonsei.
They have the best soccer program, that's why we wanted to go there in the first place."

"Fine, alright. It's okay. Let's do long distance. It's not even that far anyways, if you think about it."
Nayeon dropped her backpack and pulled her phone out of her pocket to do her research, typing
quickly as a few tears fell on the screen. "It should be like a three, maybe four hours ride? Oh,
there's a train, even. We can still see each other over the weekends or every other week? I don't
know, but we can make this work. I- I go to Yonsei, you go to PNU. Would you be more
comfortable with that? Is that what you want?"

Nayeon looked distraught and Jeongyeon felt just the same, even if she still did her best to hide it.
But at the sight of her girlfriend - or rather ex-girlfriend - crying, the feeling of disappointment with
herself only grew wider. She felt as if she really, really didn't deserve her.

Nayeon was there, wearing her heart on her sleeve, ready and willing to put her future at stake for
her but, shit- Jeongyeon loved her too much to let her do that. She wouldn't let Nayeon give up on
her dream because of her. Just because she wasn't good enough.

She knew Nayeon had always wanted her college days to be memorable. Lively and unforgettable,
as much as it seemed to be in those clichés movies they liked to watch together. Jeongyeon could
see Nayeon as the protagonist in one of them because she'd always be a protagonist wherever she
went. It was part of who she was and Jeongyeon simply couldn't take that away from her.

How would Nayeon really enjoy her college years if she was stuck in a long-distance relationship
with her? She tried to picture it. Imagined Nayeon spending her Saturday nights at home chatting
with her over a cellphone screen instead of going to a party with her team; going to bed late because
of a video call and being late for an exam the next day; missing practices to have some time to talk
to Jeongyeon in the middle of their tight busy schedules and hence losing productivity on the field.
No, Jeongyeon couldn't do that to her. She wouldn't.

She closed her eyes for a second to hold back the tears. "No- I- I think it's better if we wrap this up
now."
"Wrap this up?" She tested the words as if she couldn't believe Jeongyeon was really talking like
that about their relationship. "Babe, you're just upset about the Yonsei right now. Let's talk about it
tomorrow, I'm sure you'll see tha-"

"No, Nayeon, it won't change anything." She forced herself to take a good look at Nayeon this
time. She needed to be tough for this one. "Why'd we leave it for tomorrow? My letter won't
miraculously show up in my mailbox, nothing will change."

Nayeon looked so small. So exposed. So sad. Jeongyeon had never hated herself so much.

"Jeongyeon... still. We can still make-"

"Most couples who go to different colleges end up breaking up anyway."

"Fuck them, we're not going to be one of them!"

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I love you!" Nayeon raised her voice for the first time.

She finally took a couple of steps forward and invaded Jeongyeon's personal space. She was still
on the porch so the step gave her a height advantage for a change. She laid her index finger under
Jeongyeon's chin, applying the faintest kind of pressure and tilting her head up ever so gently until
they're looking into each other's eyes. Her other hand found the back of her neck as she caressed
the soft skin with her thumb. Jeongyeon felt her whole body shiver as she tried not to melt under
that touch. Shit.

"Why is it so easy for you to end everything we have because of a minor setback? I'm trying to
offer you solutions and you just keep bringing up the problems. What happened? Don't you love
me anymore?"

No, you silly, Jeongyeon thought, I'm doing this exactly because I love you too much to let you put
your future at risk because of me.

"I don't know."

As much as Jeongyeon had already been lying from the beginning, she couldn't go that far and say
in no uncertain terms that she didn't love her. She couldn't deny she loved Nayeon even if she was
being held at gunpoint.

"You- you don't know?" She blinked a few times before she let go of Jeongyeon and took a step
back. A beat passed. "Did I do something?"

Nayeon's low, yet desperate question was the last straw for Jeongyeon. She couldn't stay there any
longer, she felt like she would break if she didn't leave.

"I'm really sorry." That's the last thing she said before she turned around and left. She walked away
from Nayeon without looking back. All she could hear was the sobs of the girl she loved being left
behind and she hated it.

She hated that whole situation and she hated herself even more. But she could never, not in a
million years, say that she hated loving Nayeon that much.

But as it turned out, Nayeon was right. It didn't take long for her to realize that they could make it
work if only they tried. Anything would be much better than feeling that way. Than really losing
Nayeon for good.

It was literally a matter of hours before Jeongyeon regretted the mess she had made. With a
slightly cooler head and swollen eyes as she sobbed into her sister's shoulder, Jeongyeon finally
realized she had made the biggest mistake of her life.

She wanted to run back to Nayeon's house right then and there but her sister didn't let her. She said
she should sleep on it, think it over, and then talk to her girlfriend - please, please, let her still be
my girlfriend - calmly the next day. Jeongyeon didn't put up much of a fight because she was
terrified of what Nayeon might do. She could wait a few more hours, maybe Nayeon would've
calmed down by then too.

So that's what she did, she waited; even though she didn't sleep a wink during the whole night. She
waited until the next day to think further about all the different ways she could apologize to the
love of her life and how she could make it up to her. She felt frightened that Nayeon wouldn't
forgive her. Why would she do that, anyway? In all of her hopelessness, Jeongyeon felt like she
didn't deserve forgiveness. Felt like she was the worst person in the world and as far as she knew
she really was. But things weren't going to fix themselves, she had to at least try.

The next morning she left for school like she always did, but Nayeon obviously didn't show up at
the usual place she always waited for Jeongyeon so they could walk to class together. And as soon
as she set foot in the main hallway Jihyo's deadly stare told her everything she already knew: she
was screwed.

"What the hell did you do, Yoo?" Jihyo all but pushed Jeongyeon against the lockers, keeping her
grip tight on her shoulder.

"I know I fucked up."

"You fucked up? That's a fucking understatement, that's what it is! Would you mind explaining to
me why the hell I spent the whole goddamn night consoling a heartbroken Nayeon who couldn't
stop crying because you said you don't love her anymore? Even a piece of rock can tell that you're
head over heels for her, you prick!" Jeongyeon had only ever seen Jihyo so angry on the field.
Never at her, up until that moment. Being on the receiving end of all of that rage was scary. But in
a way it was actually comforting that someone was finally punishing her for being so dumb.

"I panicked, I'm sorry." Jeongyeon didn't bother telling her why, she knew that Nayeon had already
told her everything.

Jeongyeon even stopped herself from calling Jihyo and asking for advice the night before because
she knew Nayeon would need her. It'd be even more fucked up on her part if she were to take Jihyo
away from Nayeon after what she pulled. That's why it was left for her sisters the responsibility to
put some sense into the brainless head of hers.

"No shit, Sherlock." It was a well-known fact that Jihyo cursed like a sailor, but every sentence
that had come out of her mouth that morning had at least one curse in it. That was probably a
personal record.

"I'll talk to her and fix this." Jeongyeon promised.

"Of course you will. Even if I have to drag you all the way there myself." Jihyo had already
loosened the grip on her shoulder, but she finally let go of it when she noticed the tears threatening
to escape her eyes. Jeongyeon was doing her best not to start crying again, but there was only so
much she could take. "You look like shit."
"I feel like it too." The bell rang and the people around the hall started to move towards their
respective classrooms, but Jeongyeon didn't have the strength for that. She just slid her back down
the locker until she sat on the floor, hiding her head between her knees. Some students cast
quizzical glances at her, but all it took was a deadly glare from Jihyo for them to know that this
was none of their business. "She's not coming, is she?"

"You know she's not."

Jeongyeon knew it was unlikely that she'd run into Nayeon at school, but she still hadn't been able
to find the courage she needed to go back to her house. She needed Jihyo as much as Nayeon did
the day before, and she knew that her best friend would be there anyway, even if it's only to beat
the shit out of her on Nayeon's behalf.

"Why did you do that, Jeongyeon?" Her tone was much softer after seeing the goalkeeper like that.
Jeongyeon, who was usually the tough one between them, the calm, cool and collected, was yet
reduced to a crying mess; like a scared little child holding her knees and curling herself into a ball.

"I didn't want to hold her back." The hallway was empty now and Jeongyeon dared to look at her
friend again.

"So you decided to break her heart instead?" Despite the sternness, Jeongyeon knew she meant the
best. She needed that.

"I know it doesn't make sense. I just freaked out, I'm really sorry." She replied weakly, mid-
sobbing.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." Jihyo sat down next to her and slipped her arm
around her shoulders.

"I wish I hadn't done that. Now I don't know how to fix it." Jeongyeon kept crying copiously,
hiding her face in Jihyo's lap. She didn't have the strength to pretend anymore, she was terrified at
the prospect that she might have lost Nayeon for good.

"You can't take it back now, but you can still fix this."

"Can I?" It was almost unintelligible amidst her sobs. "Do you really think so?"

"You know what you have to do, Yoo." Jihyo fondly stroked her hair.

"What if she doesn't take me back? What- what if she doesn't forgive me? She probably deserves
better..." She wasn't really sure what better stood for right now. Someone stronger? Someone who
wouldn't break under pressure? Someone good enough? Maybe as good as her? As if it's possible.

"Look at me." Jihyo forced Jeongyeon out of her lap. Held her shoulders and looked into her eyes.
"She loves you, dumbass. And no one loves her more than you do, we both know that. Hell,
Nayeon herself knows it, even if you told her otherwise."

"Actually, I didn't exactly s-"

"Shut up. This isn't the time for semantics." Jihyo ordered and Jeongyeon complied. The older one
slowly managed to control her sobs while her capitan watched her carefully.

"What did she tell you?" She had to try.

"You know I can't tell you that." Yeah, Jeongyeon knew it. It was one of the stupid rules Jihyo had
came up with since she was best friends with both people in a relationship. Sometimes Jeongyeon
loved this rule, but most of the time she really hated it. It didn't matter, she knew Jihyo wouldn't
tell her a thing.

"What do I do, Jihyo? I- I can't lose her." Panic threatened to take over again, Jeongyeon's chest
felt as heavy as it had ever been.

"Just apologize."

"But I don't deserve to be forgiven."

"That's not up to you." She plainly shot back.

It really wasn't. Jeongyeon wasn't sure if Nayeon was going to forgive her, but she knew she
needed to at least try. And if Nayeon decided she was really worthy of another chance, she'd fight
every second so that the older girl would never regret it.

"You have to stop making these important decisions on your own because you're not the only
person in the relationship, you idiot. If you guys had at least talked about it you wouldn't be in this
situation right now."

"I know…"

"Do you?? Because if you really do, you have to get into those two brain cells of yours that it's not
you who decides whether or not you deserve forgiveness. Just like it's not your place to decide
which college Nayeon goes to. Both are her choices and hers alone."

Ouch. When Jihyo put it like that it sounded so obvious, so simple. It was if she was some kind of
voice of wisdom, even though deep down the goalkeeper already knew all of that. Jeongyeon
cursed herself for what was probably the hundredth time that day for being such an idiot. But she
had enough with the self pity, she had amendments to make. She'd put an end to her misery, she
had things to take care of.

She wiped her tears away and stood up leaving her backpack on the floor. Smoothed down her
clothes for good measure and took a deep breath to calm herself down a little more. The undaunted
look on her face was all Jihyo needed to know what would happen next.

"Leave your backpack and go already. I'll drop it by your house later and I'll cover for you in
class."

Jeongyeon nodded and held back one last sob hoping that it was the last one. She had to get her shit
together.

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Just- for fucks sake, treat that girl right. It's terrifying having to deal with a
sorrowful and hopeless Nayeon instead of our beloved funny and narcissistic version just because
the person she loves is a big moron." Jeongyeon chuckled apologetically.

She really was a moron, wasn't she? Nope, she didn't need to hear the answer, so she just turned
around and sprinted towards the exit.

Jeongyeon had never run so fast in her entire life. She felt like she could have broken a world
record or something. Even though she's an athlete, she was a goalkeeper after all, so she wasn't
used to this kind of stuff. Or at least not like her outfield players teammates were. But still, the fire
that consumed her lungs as she raced was nowhere near the pain that had been clenching her heart
since she left Nayeon on her doorstep the day before. Worst fucking hours of her life, no doubt
about that.

She reached her goal panting, barely waiting for her breath to even out before she started
desperately knocking on the door.

"Nayeon? Hey?? Are you there?"

She didn't even worry about the fact that Nayeon's dad might be there. Jeongyeon was pretty sure
he wouldn't, he was hardly ever home.

"Please, Nayeon, can we talk? Please!! Open up!" Although there was yet no negative response nor
resistance from the other side, Jeongyeon was already begging. She was pretty sure Nayeon
wouldn't want to see the sight of her.

But she was wrong, though.

A grumpy looking, puffy-eyed and pretty scary Nayeon opened the door a minute later, crossing
her arms with a deathly scowl on her face.

Jeongyeon felt her whole body shiver in anticipation, but then she realized Nayeon was wearing the
pajamas her parents had given her as a Christmas gift a couple of years ago and her heart eased up
a little. Jeongyeon's parents absolutely loved both Nayeon and Jihyo, so they insisted on giving
them the same gift they would give their daughters. It was a little short on her body now, but
Nayeon also wore a robe over it. Slightly falling over one of her shoulders as she held it closer to
her chest as if it was an armor.

God, was she beautiful. Jeongyeon thought but she had to stop herself from saying it outloud. This
wasn't appropriate for that moment, she didn't have that right.

"Hi." She said and cringed right after.

Really? That's the best you've got? Jeongyeon couldn't help but scold herself. She could tell
Nayeon was well resisting the urge to roll her eyes at that pathetic greeting.

"What are you doing here?" Her voice sounded mechanical and weird, as if she was carefully
choosing every word.

Jeongyeon had seen this before. It was the same tone Nayeon usually used with her mother over the
phone. The woman who abandoned her with her father when she was only a toddler and came back
a decade later, demanding weekly visitation and parental rights which everyone knew she didn't
have. The same person who Nayeon couldn't bring herself to hate just because she was her mother,
but she also couldn't feel close or connected to her on any level.

To have the same tone used against her hurt. Hurt a lot but that was just another one for the list of
things she deserved, she thought.

"Did Jihyo send you?" She pressed when Jeongyeon didn't answer.

"No!" Jeongyeon denied but then she realized that i'd be a lie, so she promptly corrected herself
because she could no longer lie to Nayeon. "I mean, yes. She told me to come, but I'd have come
anyway. I needed to talk to you."

Nayeon briefly closed her eyes and shook her head as if considering whether or not she believed
Jeongyeon. Then she released a humorless, empty chuckle before speaking again.

"What would you possibly need to talk to me about? Do you want to settle the details of our post-
prom breakup?"

"Nayeon, please-"

"Please what? Wanna talk dresses already? Make sure our outfits will match for the grand finale?"
Somehow Jeongyeon took comfort in Nayeon's wry irony. That's the girl she knew and loved,
someone who'd fight back.

"No, I just need-"

"Fuck that, Jeongyeon! Fuck you! Fuck what you need too!" She lashed out, finally leaving the
comfort of her living room and stepping out of the porch, rightfully invading Jeongyeon's personal
space again.

Nayeon pushed her away, not hard enough to hurt, yet harder than they did when they were playing
around with each other. Jeongyeon ended up in exactly the same place she was when she broke up
with Nayeon the day before. Jeongyeon outside the porch and Nayeon on the top of the stairs.

"You- shit- I thought we were more than that, you know? More than a silly, convenient high school
relationship. But clearly what we had was far more important to me than it was to you."

Every single word cut like a thousand knives into Jeongyeon's skin, but she didn't try to stop her.
It's okay, babe, put it all out.

"I- I wanted to believe that there were signs, you know? I wanted to understand when it happened.
When exactly did I stop being someone important to you, or damn it, if- if I even really mattered at
all. I thought about it all night and I realized that I wanted to, but I don't want to know anymore. I
don't care about what may or may not have been fake on your side because that's not going to
change the fact that everything I feel for you is real." Jeongyeon's attention shifted and she blinked
a few times thinking about the lack of the past tense in her words.

"It's not like that, I can explain."

"No, I don't wanna hear your excuses, alright? Like I said, I don't wanna know what happened. I
don't wanna hear all about how I was a big fool this whole time!"

A choked out sob interrupted her, but there were no tears on her face. She was holding it in.
Nayeon could do that like no one else, Jeongyeon was painfully familiar with that.

"I just want to..." She drawled. "I need you to say it outright. Not a fucking I don't know, not an
elusive answer, not a vague response. Just say you don't love me. At least- at least do that for me so
I can use it to move on."

Jeongyeon heard Nayeon vent with her head down, but she finally mustered the courage to look up
at her again after hearing her request.

For the first time she considered actually saying it. The self-destructive voice in the back of her
mind kept telling her that it would settle it. Nayeon would move on, Jeongyeon wouldn't hold her
back and she could get what she deserved. With somebody else, perhaps. Someone who really
deserved her. All she had to do was say it.

"Do it, Jeongyeon. I don't think you can break me any more than you already have. But go ahead,
give it a try. Make it hurt." There was a challenge in her voice. And maybe a little hope? Jeongyeon
couldn't tell, but Nayeon held her head up high as those words left her mouth like a poison that
kicked right in with Jeongyeon's weakness.

Jeongyeon shook her head and gave in to the tears forcing their way out the corner of her eyes.
There was no point in holding back anymore, she really was stupid if she actually believed she
could do that. Lying to Nayeon to the point of saying that she didn't love her anymore was utterly
impossible.

The sound of Jihyo's voice saying that she couldn't make the important decisions on her own
echoed in her mind along with Nayeon's yelling that she loved her the day before from that very
same spot. The contrast between that and what she just said was unbearable, almost physically
painful.

Make it hurt. Make it hurt. Make it hurt.

Fuck, how the hell could she do that to the person she loved the most?

She couldn't.

Jeongyeon stopped thinking and just launched herself forward, throwing her arms around Nayeon.
She saw a flicker of confusion in her eyes before her body collided with hers. Nayeon didn't push
her away, though. She just hugged her back, tightly so. At first it was hesitant, bewildered even,
until Jeongyeon buried her face in her shoulder, hiding in Nayeon's hair as she kept crying.

"I'm sorry! I'm so- so sorry." Jeongyeon repeated over and over again as if it was a prayer and
Nayeon was the almighty being listening to her. "I love you, okay? I love you so much, I'm sorry. I
love you."

She kept repeating those words while she held on tightly to the cloth of Nayeon's robe, gripping so
hard her knuckles turned white as if Nayeon was going to slip between her fingers if she didn't.
Jeongyeon couldn't tell how long it went on, but she realized that it only stopped when she felt
Nayeon's gentle hands softly caressing her back. Then she heard a whisper in her ear.

"You mean it?"

"What?" Jeongyeon didn't dare let go. She kept on holding on tight as if her life depended on it.

"Do you still love me?" Her mildly disbelieving tone managed to break Jeongyeon's heart even
more; she lost count of how many pieces already. She really made the love of her life doubt her
feelings for her. It must be one of the worst feelings in the world.

Jeongyeon loosened her grip enough to look at her eyes. She moved her hands from Nayeon's back
to her waist, but there was still not an inch between their bodies.

"More than anything." Jeongyeon nodded. "And I'm sorry for everything I've done and said since
yesterday. I freaked out, Nayeon, and I really fucked up. I thought you'd be better off without me.
I'm so, so sorry. I should've discussed this with you in the right way, but I... I just panicked. This-
it's all my fault, because if I was good enough to get into Yonsei, I- and you-, fuck, sorry- I just
thought that you deserved better. And I'm now-"

Nayeon didn't let her finish this time, she shut Jeongyeon's mouth with a kiss. Soft and slow, but
full of emotion and unspoken words, just like she needed it. Nayeon always knew what she needed,
sometimes even better than Jeongyeon herself.
Jeongyeon allowed herself to forget the rest of the world and as she got lost in that kiss. She only
focused on the soft lips dancing along with hers and the way that that kiss alone seemed to have
healed all the hurt she had felt in her chest since the day before.

Only hours ago she thought Nayeon would never want to talk to her again, so to have her like that,
with one hand behind her neck and the other one softly caressing her cheek mid kiss felt heavenly
surreal. She resisted the urge to protest when Nayeon pulled away only because she knew they still
had a lot to talk about.

"Shut up. Don't ever say that again. You're everything I've ever wanted." She assured as she rested
their forehead together.

Jeongyeon kept her eyes closed, but Nayeon opened hers so she could look at her. Jeongyeon
feared that this might be a hallucination due to her sleep deprivation, but if it was, she didn't want
to wake up. "Are you sure? Because I'll understand if-"

"Jeongyeon." Nayeon cut in and tilted her head as she marveled at every detail of her - hopefully -
girlfriend's face. "If you don't get into Yonsei, that's their loss. I know how wonderful you are, our
whole team knows. Hell, the whole State knows, you have admission letters from some of the top
colleges in the country to prove it." She lightly brushed her lips over Jeongyeon's, leaving a peck
that finally prompted opened up her eyes. "And I love you. I'll love you from Yonsei, from PNU,
from here, from the other side of the world. Shit, even from the hell when I finally end up going
down there." Jeongyeon chuckled and Nayeon took one of her hands. She kissed Jeongyeon's right
palm before intertwining their fingers together. "All I ask is for you to believe in me- believe in us.
And stop acting like you should make all the decisions that belong to us by yourself because, fuck,
I don't know if I can go through this, babe. My heart can't take it."

Jeongyeon noded, promised and apologized once again before initiating yet another kiss. This one
led both of them to the couch, but only talking this time. Something they should've done from the
very start.

Nayeon rested her head on Jeongyeon's lap, who stroked her hair as they talked about everything.
Jeongyeon apologized a thousand times even though Nayeon forgave her on the first one. But she
said that if Jeongyeon was going to keep apologizing, each one of them should come with a kiss to
make it worth the trouble.

Nayeon said she'd go to Yonsei. She wanted to. Jeongyeon could've chosen to attend the other
college she was accepted in Seoul to be closer to her but she knew that just like herself, Nayeon
wouldn't let her. So she'd go to PNU, in Busan. Both of them knew that they needed to choose what
was the best for their education now. After all, they would have the rest of their lives to be together
anyway.

They were proud of each other and they were also confident that they could make it work.

Nayeon fell asleep quickly after they'd talked. Didn't even bother to go to bed, they just crashed on
the couch. Neither of them had gotten any sleep the night before, so it's understandable. They were
both physically and emotionally drained but still, Jeongyeon laid awake for a while. She kept on
caressing her girlfriend tenderly, watching every detail of hers.

She almost lost her. Gosh.

Don't fuck it up again, Yoo. Jeongyeon could hear Jihyo's voice in the back of brain.

I won't, I promise. She swore. Not only to the scary version of Jihyo in her mind, but also to
herself.

She vowed she'd never do anything like that again, nothing that'd come even close to hurting
Nayeon. Never. If she thought Nayeon deserved someone better, she was going to be that better
person for her.

"We're gonna make it, babe. We'll be just fine." She whispered to the sleeping girl next to her.
Then she left a kiss on her forehead before letting herself fall asleep by her side. "I love you."

A week later Jeongyeon's letter from Yonsei arrived by mail. She got in. Jeongyeon wanted to both
celebrate and slam her own head against a wall at the same time. Nayeon was fucking right like
always. She just had to wait a few more days. All that hurt could've been avoided if she just waited
a little longer. But fuck that, there's no point in dwelling on that now.

Jeongyeon rushed to Nayeon's house just as she had done the week before: running. That wasn't
something she could do over the phone, she had to tell her in person. And while Nayeon was
kissing Jeongyeon in celebration, they got a call from Jihyo informing them that their best friend
had also gotten into Yonsei. It was one of the best days of her life, things couldn't get any better.

The plans that had been changed just a few days ago returned to the original agenda. They're going
to college together, after all.

They would be fine.

They would be together.

They would live their dream life.

Except they didn't.

Everything went bursting into flames and Jeongyeon had no idea why.

And the realness of that memory made Jeongyeon's body tremble, fearing the answer.

"Is that why you broke my heart this time? Was it some kind of payback?" The question slipped out
of Jeongyeon's mouth before she could stop it.

"You think that little of me?"

"I don't know what to think anymore."

"I had to leave, Jeong. I wouldn't go if I didn't have to. I'd never willingly leave you."

"It doesn't make sense. Why are you talking about high school then?"

"Because as soon as I got the offer from Stanford I felt like we were back in high school. I could
feel you changing with me the same way you changed back then. You were going to break up with
me, Jeongyeon. I just took the burden off your shoulders."

"You didn't know that, you just supposed that's going to happen." Although Nayeon had also said
that in the letter, Jeongyeon always thought it's just an excuse. If it was really true, she would've at
least talked to her in person to give Jeongyeon a chance to defend herself, a chance to fight for
them. But no, Nayeon didn't do that. She didn't because she didn't want to be with Jeongyeon
anymore.

"The signs were all there."

She really wanted to fight and say that it wasn't true, but what good would that make now? She
realized that she was also one to blame.

If she was being honest, Jeongyeon had to admit that Nayeon was right about the signs. She wasn't
proud of fucking panicking at the beginning, but what her ex-girlfriend didn't know was that it only
happened because Jeongyeon thought that Nayeon herself would end their relationship before it
actually happened.

Because, after all, the previous situation was totally different. From Seoul to Busan was only a few
hours, they could still see each other from time to time. But Stanford was in another fucking
country, another time zone, basically another world. As much as Jeongyeon was sure she would do
everything to make it work, she wouldn't blame Nayeon if she didn't want to do that herself. It was
way too much work, too much trouble. All of those fears and insecurities made Jeongyeon freak
out and withdraw just as she had done in high school, if not worse. And apparently it made Nayeon
believe that Jeongyeon would break up with her again.

A snowball of misunderstandings that culminated in all that pain. Yeah, that fucking sucks.

"So that's why you broke up? There's no other reason?" Even though she was afraid of the answer
she still needed to know in order to move on.

"It's more complicated than that." Oh, there it was. Yeah, it was too good to be true.

"Where have you been all this time?" Jeongyeon's voice came out atypically small.

"I can't tell you that yet." Nayeon sank back into her chair.

"Why not?"

"Because you have the right to be mad at me." Okay, again, what the fuck does that mean?
Jeongyeon was somehow managing to get more questions than answers, even if that conversation
has been enlightening at some points.

For a moment, even not knowing Nayeon's mother that well and even though she didn't even like
that woman, she still feared the worst. What if something happened to her? Call their relationship
complicated was an understatement, but Nayeon was too good to hate her own mother just as
Jeongyeon hated her for inflicting so much pain on her only daughter.

"Is your mom okay?" She hesitantly asked. The evening breeze seemed to have gotten even colder.

"She's fine."

"And you guys... are you guys okay? Do you get along now?"

"No." Nayeon chuckled weakly, feeling uncomfortable. "Having to spend all that time with her was
awful. She's still a stranger to me, I can't see her as family."

"What about your dad? Was he okay with that?"

That was yet another part of Nayeon's complicated backstory. Although Mr. Im tried to be a good
father, he was far from accomplishing that. His relationship with Nayeon's mother helped
complicate things even more. Unfortunately, she had both mommy and daddy issues hunting her to
this day.

"Same ol'. He's still deeply in love with her." She replied with a different tone than the one
Jeongyeon was used to. Whenever she talked about it in the past it was with sadness and bitterness,
but this time her tone was almost... empathetic?

"Poor guy." Jeongyeon lamented.

"Yeah, but I can't even judge him anymore." She answered and then she looked at the goalkeeper
with that look. As if Jeongyeon had put the stars in the sky. The same look Nayeon always had
whenever she'd say sweet things to her then-girlfriend in the past. "I think… or rather yet, I've
come to accept that some people are made so you can never get over them."

Jeongyeon let her back fall down on the chair and sighed tiredly. Put her arms over her eyes to try
to hide herself since Nayeon could also read her like a book.

"Why are you here? For real this time." Jeongyeon asked once again, not worrying about the
consequences. She felt like she was starting to sound like a broken record by now.

Jeongyeon thought she had drunk just enough to make herself feel a little looser- a little braver, but
now everything seemed to be spinning around her. She should've known her ex-girlfriend was far
more intoxicating than any drink she could possibly have.

Nayeon eyed the empty soju bottles beside Jeongyeon's chair before staring at her again. The
goalkeeper had the feeling Nayeon was assessing whether or not Jeongyeon would remember that
conversation considering how much she had drunk.

"Because you're here." She answered plainly as if that sentence alone explained everything.
Jeongyeon closed her eyes even tighter as she tried to assimilate those words because unlike what
Nayeon might think, it only left her with even more doubts.

"You can't do this, Nayeon." Jeongyeon sat up straight, turned to the side and faced the girl sternly
as she shook her head.

"What?"

"Say things like that. Insinuate that losing me is worse than you not being able to play anymore.
Implying that you're back because of me. You just can't." It gives me too much hope, a hope I don't
wanna have. She almost added.

"I'm just being honest."

"Now you wanna talk about honesty?"

"I don't lie to you, Jeongyeon. I may need to omit some stuff sometimes, but I never lied."

"How is that any different from lying?"

"Because lies are usually meant to hurt and I never wanted to hurt you. Not once."

Jeongyeon wanted to protest but she simply didn't have the strength to fight anymore. Why couldn't
Nayeon just tell her the fucking truth? Why keep all those secrets and omissions? It didn't fit the
Nayeon Jeongyeon knows and loves. Knew and loved, as in the past. She mentally corrected
herself.

And that only made Jeongyeon even more worried. If Nayeon was so unwilling to be honest with
her about this matter, was it something she really wanted to know? Or was Nayeon maybe keeping
it secret because it would hurt Jeongyeon even more? Perhaps it was something that would make
Jeongyeon really hate her to the point that it would actually make her move on once and for all and
that wasn't something Nayeon wanted?

"You do know everything I wrote is true, right? In the letter, I meant every single word." Nayeon
brought up the letter topic again when the silence dragged on for too long. She always hated the
silence. No wonder she was so loud.

"I don't know anything at this point." Jeongyeon shook her head again as if that would help her
shake the thoughts off.

"I wouldn't have left if I didn't have to." Nayeon repeated yet again, but that time her voice sounded
even more urgent. "Please believe me when I say I really needed to go."

"And I needed you!" Jeongyeon snapped. Didn't even have the time to regret it before she kept
going. "Or at least a proper goodbye? Not a few words on a piece of paper. You could just say that
you didn't love me anymore and go! Say you didn't want to try long distance, say you didn't think
we were worth it!"

"But that wasn't it at all." Nayeon quickly denied. "I never said I didn't love you!"

"You said you loved me. In the past. That was enough."

"No, no. You didn't understand-"

"I just wanted to hear it from you." Suddenly Jeongyeon understood why Nayeon had begged her
to say it outright on that unfortunate event during their senior year. She had never really thought
about that before, but reading something she was supposed to hear may have kept her from moving
on for all this time. "Because I think that if I had heard you say the words everything would be
different, you know? If I had actually heard you say that you didn't love me anymore maybe your
voice wouldn't sound like home to me after all this time."

"Jeongyeon..." Nayeon tried to get a hold of Jeongyeon's hand, but she stood up and quickly put
more distance between them. She even knocked her beach chair over in the process, but she didn't
care. Nayeon stood up too, both crying and not caring about what the other might think anymore.

"Just do it, Nayeon. Just do this one thing for me, please." She tried to replicate the words Nayeon
had said years ago. Whether she wanted a similar reaction to the one she had, or whether she
actually wanted Nayeon to put an end to it by saying that she really didn't love anymore... well, she
wasn't sure. Yet she smiled as she added. "Make it hurt."

Jeongyeon saw Nayeon flinch. She tensed up altogether, clenched her jaw and her fists tightly as
she took a brief glance at the sky trying to hold back the tears. She took a step forward but still
respected the distance Jeongyeon had put between them. Then she bored into the goalkeeper's eyes
once again and shook her head before answering.

"I can't lie to you." Nayeon stressed each word as if she was making a great amount of effort to put
it out there and Jeongyeon could swear her heart had stopped right at that moment.

Fuck.

So that's it? Nayeon was really standing there saying that she still had feelings for her? Confirming
everything her friends had told her earlier?

Jeongyeon couldn't handle it anymore. She stared at Nayeon for a couple seconds before walking
out the door without saying a word. Her shoulder bumped into Nayeon's as she staggered toward
 the exit. It happened so fast that it all felt like one big blur. The goalkeeper went home so quickly
that when she finally got there she couldn't even remember how the hell she got back.

She was thankful that Momo wasn't in their living room and went straight to her bedroom, not even
minding closing the door behind her before opening the last drawer of her wardrobe to find a
hidden box.

Opening it for the first time in months, Jeongyeon found some photos, a ring and a crumpled piece
of paper. It was a little torn and worn after being turned into a paper ball several times in the
moments Jeongyeon almost threw it away.

Then she unfolded the tear-stained paper one more time to check it out even though she already
knew every word written in there.

What if she missed something? Did she really overlook something in between the lines?

Why did the Nayeon she left behind on that rooftop seem so different from the Nayeon who wrote
those words if they both claimed to have feelings for her?

The Nayeon who wrote that letter even really loved her at some point? Or once again had
Jeongyeon been wrong for all this time?

There's only one way to find out.

Chapter End Notes

yeah, we'll finally get to read said letter in the next chapter so good luck i guess
 oh yeah, the fucking letter
Chapter Summary

"And how the hell am I supposed to know that if you never tell me anything?"
Jeongyeon lost her temper and raised her voice.

"You know I can't do that! I'm breaking the most important rule by telling you this
right now." Jihyo shot back.

"Well, fuck you and your stupid rules!" Jeongyeon yelled.

"Fuck you both and your childish behavior!" Jihyo replied just as mad.

Chapter Notes

i know i promised fluff but i'm not gonna lie, this one is going to be a bit hard. maybe
less angsty than the last one? yeah i guess, but still angsty so

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Jeongyeon woke up the next day with Momo's arms around her.

She vaguely remembered her roommate coming out of her own bedroom and finding her drunk and
crying on the floor the night before; wrecked with a crumpled piece of paper in her hands while the
other belongings from the box were thrown all around the room.

She should've felt embarrassed but she had been too out of it to care. Besides, she knew Momo
would never judge her. Her roommate didn't even ask or press her to know what had happened. She
just ushered Jeongyeon to the bathroom and told her to take a shower while she searched her closet
for some fresh comfy clothes. Thereon, she dried her hair with a towel before pulling her to the
bed, letting Jeongyeon cry herself to sleep into her chest.

No questions or judgments, just company and support. The kind of comfort Jeongyeon needed.

Jeongyeon was well aware that she had already missed practice, so she also didn't bother with the
classes she technically would've to attend later. Momo was sleeping soundly beside her and
although she felt bad that the younger girl was also missing out on important activities by being
there, she couldn't afford to refuse her presence right now. Jeongyeon snuggled further into
Momo's embrace as she thought about everything that had happened the day before.

Her mind was racing way faster than she could keep up although she had only just woken up. Shit.
She could feel a headache coming her way. But still, she couldn't help but think about what her
friends told her at the party.

Not that Jeongyeon was going to admit it to anyone else, but she obviously noticed some of the
signs. She did know Nayeon very well, after all. She could be a little slow sometimes, but she was
certainly not dumb.

Every time she'd take a peek at Nayeon, she caught the other girl already staring at her first. Then
Nayeon would always break eye contact and blush hard after being caught.

(And every time after that, Jeongyeon would still let her eyes linger on her ex-girlfriend a little
longer. That's because she always found it adorable the way Nayeon's cheeks would flush all the
way to her neck whenever she was caught off guard, which didn't happen that often before.)

That's why she tried to avoid any kind of glance at Nayeon as much as possible, but even so
Jeongyeon always felt her gaze burning over her. It was unsettling and intoxicating at the same
time. It felt almost- but only almost right.

Also, the way Nayeon just took and put up with all of Sana's teasing without any kind of retaliation
was also very unusual, but Jeongyeon figured that's just the way she found to stay in her lane; to
fall off the radar and not draw attention to herself or whatever. Or maybe she was just accepting
that at least someone else had not welcomed her with open arms, unlike the others.

Either way, Jeongyeon chose to believe that all of that was only her guilt's doing. It made more
sense than thinking that the person who broke her heart still cared about her, right?

But Nayeon left no room for doubt the night before. At least not about her feelings, anyway. The
doubts were now all on Jeongyeon's side.

Could she ever be able to put everything behind her and reciprocate those feelings? Should
Jeongyeon want to do that after all of that drama? Or would Nayeon even act on it, after all?

Fuck. She didn't even know what the hell she was feeling.

Maybe the best thing she could do was really try to get over her so that she and Nayeon could've
something closer to friendship or something like that. For the sake of the team, of course. After
college she'd be free.

... right?

And what about the letter? Oh yeah, the fucking letter.

When she left, Jeongyeon had settled that that Nayeon was no longer in love with her when she
wrote all that. She forced herself to believe that all the claims she made in that piece of paper were
nothing but excuses, tried to focus on the actually important parts:

"I loved you throughout, from the very beginning to the very end..."

Yeah, that one and the fucking: "...it was amazing while it lasted."

In other words, back then she didn't love her anymore. Nayeon fell out of love. It was okay.

Maybe she just gave up on them. Period. Whatever.

It was easier to believe that Nayeon just wanted a way out; that it was the best way she could find
to be free and feel comfortable overseas. Leaving with no string attached. But now that Jeongyeon
found out that Nayeon never went to fucking Stanford, but rather visited her neglectful mother
which she didn't even like, what the hell did that mean?

Ah, fuck that shit. The person who came back wasn't Nayeon, it's a goddamned sphinx who's doing
its best to make Jeongyeon even more confused, that's it.

"Good morning." Momo drawled, slowly waking up and taking her friend out of her thoughts.
Jeongyeon tried to move away to give her some space, but the japanese girl just pulled her closer.
"No, no, no. I have hugs right today. I don't care, I've earned it."

Momo had always been a skinship kind of girl - see the psychological torture she and Dahyun
inflicted on the rest of the group on a daily basis. Jeongyeon, on the other hand, had never been
very keen when it came to PDA.

Nayeon was an exception, of course; she had always been an exception for every single one of
Jeongyeon's rules. But that exception in particular had ended a long time ago.

Her friends and teammates were used to Jeongyeon's reluctance by now, but it didn't mean that
they stopped stealing kisses and hugs only to annoy the fuck out of her. But this time Momo was
right. Not only did she earn it, but Jeongyeon also needed it.

"I'm sorry, Momo."

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

"You missed practice and your morning classes. Fuck, the Coach Bae's gonna kill us!" A quick
glance at the phone showed her that it was almost noon. Jeongyeon got out of bed and crossed her
arms. She felt her head spin as soon as she stood up. Yeah, maybe she should've handled her liquor
a little better. "You can still make it to your afternoon classes if you hurry up."

"I don't care about the classes and Jihyo covered for us at practice. She should be here soon, by the
way. She said she'd come as soon as her class was over, but I guess the professor must have slowed
her down a bit."

"Great, now I'm making Jihyo miss her classes too."

"Could you please shup up about the fucking classes? You're our priority right now in case you
haven't noticed." Momo sat up, slightly irritated.

Jeongyeon glanced around the room to avoid Momo's eyes. Everything was neatly put away, even
the clothes that had been tossed around the day before were properly folded now. Most
importantly, the box was nowhere to be seen. Not the box, nor all its contents that were scattered
on the floor when Momo found her crying.

"I cleaned up while you were in the shower. Put everything inside the box and placed it back in the
same drawer. But I didn't read anything, don't worry." Momo said like she read her thoughts.

A twinge of panic threatened to take over when Jeongyeon thought she had lost those belongings,
but the instant relief that followed Momo's words made the goalkeeper mad at herself.

"I thought I might have thrown it all away when I was angry."

Why was she feeling so relieved, anyway? Shouldn't she have been at least a little glad when she
thought she had finally gotten rid of those things? I mean, it was well past time to stop clinging to
all that stuff, wasn't it?

"Did you really drink so much that you can't remember what you did last night?" Momo arched an
eyebrow.
"I'm not sure." Jeongyeon deflected. She did have some gaps in her memory that she couldn't fill in,
but nothing worth worrying about. "I don't remember how I got home, for instance."

"You can use that as an excuse to get out of Jihyo's interrogation." Momo joked but Jeongyeon
could sense the concern in her voice. "Play dumb to get away with it. That's what I'd do."

"It's a pretty good option, actually." She wasn't looking forward to explaining everything that had
happened the night before, especially not to Jihyo.

"I've never seen you like that before, Jeong. Not even after Nayeon left." Momo stepped closer to
Jeongyeon and put her arms around her waist in a loose hug. "When she left you did everything you
could to hide how you really felt. I never saw you shed a single tear back then. You just shut down
altogether. Kept that scowl and that everlasting bad mood."

"I've been told that's my charm." Jeongyeon tried to play it cool but Momo wasn't having it.

"Are we going to talk about what happened yesterday?"

Yes. She wanted to talk about it. She needed to.

Jeongyeon didn't want to pretend she was fine anymore. She couldn't.

Why'd she keep trying to face all her problems on her own if she had friends that were there and
eager to help?

But first she needed some painkillers and maybe a cup of coffee or two. The hangover was kicking
her ass and not only the moral one.

"Let's wait for Jihyo, shall we? I need some coffee."

"Then let's go, I'll brew us some." Momo took Jeongyeon by the hand and started to guide her out
of the bedroom.

"Hold up." Jeongyeon let go of her hand and stopped by her closet. She opened the last drawer and
retrieved the box Momo had put back there. She stared at the letter for a few seconds before
standing up with the piece of paper in hand. Momo just watched her in silence, worrying that the
goalkeeper might start crying again but nothing of the sort happened.

She had never shown that letter to anyone, not even Jihyo. It was her secret. Hers and Nayeon's, the
only people who knew what was written there. The last thing that only the two of them had in
common.

All her friends knew was that it was some kind of "break up" letter. Jeongyeon never elaborated
any further on its content. For the longest time she believed that she'd never have to talk about it
again, but as always, the past had a different way of coming back to bite her in the ass.

No one ever pressured her or insisted on knowing more than she was willing to tell. Maybe Momo
and Jihyo never wanted to know more to keep the image of Nayeon that they had in their hearts, or
maybe the two of them already knew everything and never said anything about it so as not to make
Jeongyeon feel any worse than she already had. Sana, on the other hand, probably never showed
more interest because she already hated Nayeon enough to risk disliking her even more. But those
were just her theories.

Regardless, Jeongyeon really needed to talk to someone now. She needed someone else to read that
fucking letter and help her understand whatever she might have missed.
"Let's go." Jeongyeon intertwined her fingers with Momo's once again and led the way to the
kitchen after taking a short detour to freshen up and get some medicine in the bathroom.

Before the coffee maker finished its work, they heard several relentless knocks on the door. Jihyo,
of course, Jeongyeon figured. However, when Momo went back to the kitchen after welcoming
their visitor, she was faced not only with Jihyo, but also with Sana and Mina right behind her.

"Listen, if you scare me like that again I'm gonna rip your lungs out and use them as bagpipes."
Jihyo threatened in the middle of a hug that came right after she punched Jeongyeon's arm.

"Gee, would you give her a break? She just snuck out for a few hours to get wasted. It's no biggie."
Sana snorted and placed a kiss on Jeongyeon's cheek. Then she sat down on one of the kitchen
chairs. "And I didn't know you played the bagpipes, that's like- certified nerd stuff."

"Sana, I swear to God..." Jihyo didn't finish her sentence, but she spluttered to keep herself from
strangling the other girl.

"They've been like this since yesterday." Mina reported, coming closer. She also hugged
Jeongyeon, but held her hands instead of letting her go. "How are you doing?"

"About as well as I can be." She squeezed Mina's hands back. "My head's killing me."

"Moral hangover, princess?" Sana asked as she pulled out a notebook from her backpack and
wordlessly handed it to her best friend. Momo got her phone to take pictures of Sana's notes after
handing a cup of freshly brewed coffee to Jeongyeon.

"Kind of." Jeongyeon sighed and walked Mina to the table, taking the last two chairs. Jihyo
ignored the bar stools and leaned against the countertop, crossing her arms to get more
comfortable.

"I was supposed to come alone, but these two over there pretty much followed me here."

"First off, Mina literally drove us here." Sana also crossed her arms and challenging glared at
Jihyo, mimicking her scowl. "Secondly, I'm okay if someone sits on my lap to make a room so our
grumpy captain gets a seat at the table. Jeongyeon is hungover and Momo's girlfriend scares me, so
Mina, darling, would you mind?" Sana tapped her lap with a shameless grin on her face, getting an
involuntary chuckle out of Jeongyeon. Actually, everyone but Jihyo laughed.

"First off," Jihyo derisively mimicked Sana's words. "You and Mina nearly made camp outside my
class and dragged me to the car as soon as I got out because you knew I was coming here.
Secondly, since when are you afraid of Dahyun of all people? Cut the crap, you were hitting on her
yesterday."

"You were hitting on my girlfriend yesterday?" Momo put down her phone and glared at Sana.

"It was right in front of you, dude. I respect you too much to do it behind your back." Sana
answered nonchalantly, like it was supposed to be obvious

"Oh yeah, that's right." Momo blinked a few times, then went back to her previous activities
mumbling a few words under her breath. "I guess I had a little too much to drink as well."

"Anyway," Jihyo rolled her eyes. "Jeong, do you want me to kick them out or what?"

Jeongyeon was already feeling a little better just by having her friends gathered together, even with
Jihyo's threat and all.
Her initial plan was to show the letter to Momo and Jihyo, and then tell them a sugar-coated
version of the truth about what happened the night before. But having Sana and Mina here as well
seemed even more effective since neither of them were as close to Nayeon as the other two. So
they might have a different take on the matter.

"No, it's okay." She held out her hand and Jihyo drew closer on the spot. She hugged her from
behind and wrapped her arms around her best friend's neck, resting her chin on the top of her head
"I'm glad you're here. All of you."

It was stupid, Jeongyeon knew. She tried not to feel bad about having all of them there, worrying
about her for a reason which she judged to be so silly, but she couldn't help it. So she just ignored
that feeling and did the best thing she thought fit: made sure they knew how much she appreciated
each one of them.

"It's not a big deal, Jeong." Sana dropped her usual terms of endearment and playful antics for a
moment. "I did my best and tried to calm Jihyo down since you left, but I was also a bit worried
until Nayeon sent us that text."

"Was that you trying to calm me down?"

"Yes? Wasn't it clear?"

"You annoyed the shit out of me on every single chance you got and kept saying I had to quit
acting like I was her mom."

"Exactly, that's my love language. Did you like it?" Sana beamed.

"What happened last night, anyway?" Mina stepped in before Sana and Jihyo could start teasing
each other again - mostly Sana, but that's not the point.

The younger girl was growing tired of the bickering, but deep down she knew Sana had the best
intentions. Of course she also knew that her roommate's favorite hobby was to antagonize Jihyo,
but she had been working extra hard since the day before as a way to try and keep the captain busy
enough so that she wouldn't worry too much about Jeongyeon.

"Well..." Jeongyeon let go of Jihyo and took a deep breath before starting. It wouldn't be the easiest
thing to explain. "After the talk we had at the party I needed some time to think."

"We already filled Jihyo in and she already called us out for getting involved in things that were
none of our business - her words, not mine. But yeah, you can skip that part and cut to the chase."
Momo quickly explained in order to move on faster.

"Right." Jeongyeon chuckled. Of course Jihyo would do that. "So I went to a place where I thought
no one would find me so I could clear my mind."

"You mean so you could get hammered-" Sana wiggled her eyebrows at her.

"Sana-" Jihyo was about to snap when Mina interrupted them again.

"Let's just listen to what Jeongyeon has to say for now, shall we?" Mina placed her own hand over
Sana's. The older girl immediately shut up and blinked a few times before slowly nodding as she
looked at Mina's hand over hers. "Sorry, Jeong. Go on, please."

"O-kay..." The blank look on Sana's face almost made Jeongyeon lose her train of thought. She
made a mental note to talk about it some other time and went back to the main issue. "Long story
short, Nayeon found me and we ended up talking."

"About what?"

"A lot of things, actually."

"Which of those things made you come home crying?" Momo bluntly asked.

"Yeah, listen, I must let you know that I had way too much to drink, okay? We had beer at the
party and I ended up buying a few more bottles of soju on the way there, so Sana's kind of right. I
was loaded when she showed up and you guys know I get sensible when I'm drunk, right? And I'm
really not supposed to mix drinks becau-"

"You're rambling." Momo pointed it out and she realized it was true. But she didn't mean to, she
was just pretty nervous.

"One thing led to another and- well, it was more the alcohol than the conversation itself-"

"Jeongyeon. Spill." Jihyo's patience was running thin. She knew the goalkeeper well enough to
know that she was just bullshitting them at that point.

"Nayeon said..." Jeongyeon closed her eyes and shook her head. "She said that she still has
feelings... for me. I think."

She kept her eyes closed as she waited for a reaction but was met with nothing but silence. She
frowned, opened her eyes and glanced at her friends only to find four pairs of eyes blankly
watching her. Waiting in anticipation for her to say something else.

"And...?" Momo prompted.

"We need some news, hotshot. We already knew about that." Sana complained.

Jeongyeon took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. Of course it was going to be like that.

"That's it, folks. That's all."

"What did you say?" Mina asked.

"I didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"I just left and came home."

"No, hold on. Let me get this straight. Nayeon said she likes you and you just ran away?" Jihyo
looked at her in disbelief.

"Well, she didn't exactly say it. She just implied." Jeongyeon suddenly felt like she was being
interrogated.

"Semantics, Jeongyeon, fucking semantics!!!" Jihyo looked seriously outraged.

"You're unbelievable." Sana bemusedly remarked, but she didn't lose her smirk.

"What do you mean by implied?" Mina coaxed.

"Listen, it's complicated. We talked about a lot of stuff. About how her leaving affected me and-
and how her coming back made me feel. We also talked a bit about what happened to her when she
was... away."

Jeongyeon was still not sure whether or not she should tell them that the whole Stanford thing was
nothing but a lie.

A lie? No, wait, Nayeon never lied about that. She never said she was going to Stanford,
Jeongyeon had already acknowledged and conceded that it was her misinterpretation since Nayeon
had landed the fucking scholarship. She never kept in touch to find out the truth - that is, if Nayeon
was even going to tell her that if they ever talked. But yeah, one way or another, that was also her
fault.

But what if Momo and Jihyo already knew? Did they know more than Jeongyeon about Nayeon's
whereabouts? She wanted to believe they didn't because it hurt to think otherwise. And if they
didn't know, it wasn't Jeongyeon's story to tell. It was up to Nayeon to tell them the truth or not,
especially since the truth apparently included the older girl's mother, whatever that meant. So she
decided to keep that part to herself for now.

"So now what?" Jihyo spoke up after a while. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Jeongyeon breathed out a tired sigh. "That's exactly the problem. I don't know what
to do."

"Do you still like her?" Sana cut to the chase. She was always straightforward and Jeongyeon
appreciated that almost as much as she hated it when it was used against her.

"She hurt me a lot." That's all Jeongyeon could muster up.

"It doesn't answer my question."

Well, Sana, too bad. I have a lot of unanswered questions too. Deal with it. Jeongyeon wanted to
snap but she took a deep breath and held back.

"I want you guys to read this." She changed the tack of the conversation and pulled out the letter
she had kept in the pocket of her hoodie. She unfolded the piece of paper and placed it flat on the
table. Everyone looked at it as if it were a bomb.

"Is that...?" Jihyo trailed off.

"Yep."

"Are you sure?" Momo almost gasped as she carefully took the letter into her hands, turning it from
side to side without focusing her eyes on any part in particular.

"I need a second opinion. Well, in this case, a third, fourth, and fifth opinion as well."

"On what, exactly?" Mina looked concerned.

"Just- just read it, please. We'll talk about it when you're done."

There was a tense moment of silence when the four girls looked at each other as if they were
having a wordless conversation. Jeongyeon just stared at the table because she didn't want to know
whatever they were discussing. She was already feeling exposed enough and said exposure was
about to blow through the roof.
"Do you mind if I read it out loud?"

"Go ahead."

Jihyo took the letter, cleared her throat and started:

"Dear Jeongyeon,

I'll probably be at the airport or maybe even further away when you finally read this. That is, if you
even choose to read it. I really hope you do, but I won't blame you if these words die here. Maybe
that's what I deserve for not telling you all of this looking into your eyes.

Firstly, I wanna apologize for not being able to do it in person. I'm really sorry about that, but my
flight leaves in a few hours and honestly that's a blessing in disguise because I don't know if I could
do it any other way.

I know that things have been a bit hectic between us in the last few weeks and I also know that a
huge part of that is my fault. I was upset and frustrated, angry at the world and wondering why all
of this had to happen to me in the first place. Not that it's a good excuse or even an excuse at all
for that matter, because I take full responsibility for my actions. I know I made a lot of mistakes,
but I can't deny that the circumstances have contributed to me being a little negligent towards you
lately.

And on top of all this I still got into Stanford. Even though I don't think I deserve it and even though
I'm not healthy enough for it right now. The timing couldn't be worse and I know that it's been
causing just as much distress for you as it has for me.

Last time we were in a similar situation you kind of freaked out, didn't you? It's alright, Jeong, I
understand you better now and I know that's why you've been acting off. I've noticed that you've
been thinking about our PNU situation all over again and I honestly don't know if I can change
your mind about it this time. But I know what the next step is, so I'll do it for us, okay? I have to go
anyway.

But please don't get me wrong, knowing all this doesn't mean that making this decision any easier.

You know that magic moment on the field right after I score? Well then, I kind of feel like that right
now. I feel like this scholarship was the goal and I just reached my goal as a striker: I fucking
landed it.

Yet, whenever I score my first instinct is to look at you. Even from far away, from the other side of
the field. It's like second nature to me at this point because as soon as our eyes meet and I see the
genuine happiness plastered all over your face I feel like that was the real goal, you know? It's not
about the ball in the back of the net, it's not about winning. It's all about getting you to smile like
that.

And whenever I see it - the happiness, the love, the pride, you - I feel my feet leading me towards
you almost automatically. Because for me, it's like the score isn't going to change until I throw
myself into your arms and have you holding me tight, spinning us around as if that moment would
last forever. I always wished it would.

However, it's not always easy to get to you. Sometimes the adrenaline of the game blinds me a little
and all the shouts around the field make me feel like you're a thousand miles away. Sometimes
what tries to stop me are the enthusiastic pats from our teammates tugging me along the way. I
know they mean no harm, of course, but it still delays the embrace I need most.
But I've always managed to dodge them. I always fought as hard as I could to get to you and I
always, always believed that nothing could stop me - until something finally did. Unfortunately,
this time, the forces keeping me from reaching you are too strong. And again, I'm really, truly
sorry about that.

I wished with all my heart that nothing would ever stop me, but I've come to know that things don't
always turn out the way we want them to. And I hate it, Jeong, I really do. I hate it more than I've
hated anything in my entire life. But still, I can't do anything about it now, and neither can you. It's
like everything has already been settled for us and it fucking sucks.

So all it's left for me to do now is thank you for everything you've done for me so far. For showing
me what real love looks like in my not that long life which I'm pretty sure is only complete because
I got to meet you.

Thank you for finding me and also for staying, for putting up with me for all of these years, for
letting yourself fall in love with my annoying, needy and pretty chaotic personality, and for not
giving up on me even when I was hard to love.

Thank you for being the best friend and best girlfriend I could ever ask for, for taking care of me,
keeping me on my toes and for letting me see parts of you that you had never shown to anybody
else.

Thank you for everything, Jeongyeon. From the higher ups to the deepests downs, for every single
moment I got to share with you. Trust me when I say that I loved you throughout, from the very
beginning to the very end and I know that I was loved just the same, far more than I ever thought I
deserved.

So again, thank you so much because it was amazing while it lasted. I do have many regrets in my
life, but none when it comes to you.

And as hard as it is to say this, I truly hope that one day you'll find someone who loves you better,
who can be with you forever, as you deserve; hope this person makes you at least twice as happy as
you made me; and I hope they stay, since unfortunately I can't.

So no matter what happens, even if you inevitably end up hating me after this I want you to know
that you couldn't have loved me better. Couldn't have made me happier, and for that I'll be
everlastingly grateful.

I'll miss you, Jeong, but please don't miss me too much.

Thanks for letting me be your number one.

You'll always be mine.

Love,

Nayeon."

Jeongyeon spent the entire reading time staring at the empty coffee mug in her hands as if it was
the most interesting thing in the world. She didn't want to look up and find her friends staring at her
in pity. No, she couldn't stand that kind of feeling.

So she let a minute pass while she silently wiped the unwanted tears. It took another moment
before she mustered up enough courage to clear her throat and look up.
"So..." She started but suddenly stopped as she set her eyes on that scene before her.

Sana was... weeping? Fuck, Jihyo too?? Momo had her arms tightly crossed against her chest and
was sporting the most serious look Jeongyeon had ever seen her wear while Mina stared into
nothingness and seemed to be lost in her own mind.

"Uh, guys?"

"Fuck, it's kind of cold in here." Sana stood up and turned her back to the group to close the kitchen
window, but Jeongyeon immediately noticed that it was just an excuse when she saw Sana
discreetly wiping her eyes.

"Okay..." Jeongyeon was confused, no one had said anything yet. "So what do you guys think?"

"Wow." Momo finally spoke up.

"Wow?"

"Yeah, wow."

"Is it a good kind of wow or a bad kind of wow?"

"It's just a wow, I don't know." Momo also stood up and leaned against the cabinet, staying as far
away as possible as if she was avoiding her. Jihyo took the opportunity to take her seat. The captain
looked even more shaken than the others.

"Who'd have thought that she's that good with words, huh?" Sana took a water bottle from the
fridge and went to the living room, collapsing on the couch. Jeongyeon watched her over the
countertop that separated the living room from the kitchen and realized that she was trying to stay
away because she was still crying.

Alright, that's enough. What the hell was going on?

"What..." Mina stammered, but seemed to have snapped out of her daze. "What exactly do you
want us to say, Jeong?"

"The point is... I want you to tell me if the person who wrote that letter-"

"Nayeon." Momo corrected.

"The person who wrote that letter." Jeongyeon stubbornly repeated. "Do you think that- that she
still loved me back then? Because I used to think that- I don't know? I thought she fell out of love
with me and then she used... Stanford as an excuse to break up, you know? But then she told me a
shitload of stuff last night and confused the heck out of me again. She made me feel like
everything I'd been forcing myself to believe all this time is a lie." She blurted it out all at once and
let her friends silently take it in for a while longer. Surprisingly, it was Sana who spoke first.

"Honestly?" Sana stood up and propped her elbows on the countertop. "I know this probably isn't
what you want to hear right now, but I think... I dislike Nayeon a little less now." Jeongyeon was
about to say something but Sana raised a finger to stop her. "I mean, do I still think she's a fucking
douchebag for breaking up over a letter? Yes, definitely. But I also think she was... honest? Yes,
heartfelt. She should've told you all of that in person, I know, but I don't see the letter as a sign of
indifference regarding your feelings, but rather fear."

"Fear?" Jeongyeon shook her head and looked away.

"Yeah." Momo answered for her. She and Sana exchanged looks as if Momo perfectly understood
whatever Jeongyeon missed. "It's not that she didn't care enough about you to personally say
goodbye, I think she was just afraid of not being able to go through with it, you know? Of seeing
you and giving up at the spot."

"Exactly." Sana agreed. Hearing that from someone who was supposed to be #TeamJeongyeon
carried a whole lot of weight.

"I even understand why she did it over a letter, actually." Momo went on and all eyes turned to her.
"I don't approve of it, but I get it."

"What- what do you mean?"

"I can't imagine looking into Dahyun's eyes and telling her that we can't be together anymore. I like
to think it's because I'd never do that, of course, but I don't want my words to come back and haunt
me, so I'm just being honest." She struggled. "Nayeon loved you a lot, Jeongyeon. And I'm saying
this not as her friend, but as yours. The only information I have about your relationship since
Nayeon left are the things you've told me. She's always refused to talk to me about it and I've
respected her wishes just as I've respected your silence on the matter up until now. So, wanna me to
be honest?" Jeongyeon faintly nodded and Momo carried on. "I don't think Nayeon ever stopped
loving you."

Fuck.

"Maybe back then she truly believed that breaking up would be the best option for the both of you
considering the distance." Sana spoke up again as if completing Momo's thoughts. "And maybe she
ended up regretting it? Yeah, probably, but these are just my thoughts. None of us can really tell
what the hell was going on in that stupid head of hers. Only Nayeon will be able to tell you the
truth."

Fuck.

"Out of everyone here I'm the least fit to talk about whatever Nayeon felt or did not feel for you
when she left since I didn't know either of you back then." Mina blurted out without even giving
Jeongyeon a moment to assimilate Momo and Sana's words. "So I can't tell if Nayeon really liked
you when she wrote all that, but I do see how she acts around you on a daily basis. She's now
exactly subtle about it, Jeong. She likes you, that's a fact."

"But-"

"Everything we told you yesterday was true." She carried on. "I think we can talk about it openly
now that Nayeon has confessed."

Fuck.

"Jihyo?" Jeongyeon called out her last hope.

Maybe the captain would say that everyone else was delusional. Jihyo could just tell them that she
knew the whole truth and that the entire thing was just a big misunderstanding. She could settle
that matter once and for all, tell the goalkeeper to forget about it and move on. Jeongyeon was
hoping for that, but her best friend's glistening eyes were definitely saying something else.

"Damn it, Jeongyeon!" Jihyo snapped and stood up all of a sudden. "You... and her- fuck, I hate
her!"
"What??" Momo widened her eyes.

"Nayeon!" Jihyo started to angrily pace around the kitchen. She always did that whenever she was
nervous. "She's a fucking idiot! Hell, Jeongyeon too! I hate the both of them, fucking morons!"

"Ah..." That's all Jeongyeon said.

Momo, Sana and Mina watched her in amusement, but Jeongyeon already knew where that was
going. She just sat there and waited while Jihyo organized her thoughts before speaking, or rather
yelling again.

"She basically said she just broke up with you because she thought you'd break up with her.
Dammit! Same fucking game, same fucking players with only diferents roles. It's the whole PNU
drama happening again right before my eyes!"

"Oh right, I almost forgot. I didn't quite understand that PNU thing she said in the letter. What
happened?" Sana reminded that only Jeongyeon and Jihyo actually knew what had happened back
then.

Jeongyeon shivered at the thought of having to explain all of that again. Fortunately - or
unfortunately, that's debatable - Jihyo made sure to tell the whole story after the goalkeeper silently
agreed.

"So basically," She eagerly ended, making her case. "Jeongyeon broke up with Nayeon because
she's a big idiot, I mean, because she didn't think she'd get into Yonsei and she thought that it might
somehow hurt Nayeon, so she took the matter into her own hands. And this time, Nayeon broke up
with Jeongyeon because she's an even bigger fool, or should I say because she believed that history
would repeat itself and that their relationship was already doomed. And you know what's worse?
Jeongyeon wasn't going to call it off because even though she's a dumbass, she had already learned
her lesson the first time!"

"It's not that simple." Jeongyeon tried to protest but she had no way to elaborate without exposing
Nayeon's lie- omission.

"Wouldn't it be easier if you guys like- just talked it over?" Momo pointed out as if it wasn't
obvious.

"They don't know what the word communication stands for! For them it's just a bunch of letters put
together!" Jihyo waddled endlessly, her face getting even more flushed by the second.

"Nayeon could've talked to me, Jihyo! She could've told me in person and I was going to tell her
that I wanted to fight for us. But she didn't do that, and if she didn't it's because she didn't want me
anymore!"

"Did you try?" Jihyo sternly stared.

"What?" Jeongyeon flinched.

"Did you fucking try?? Did you tell her that? Even after she left, did you even call? Did you try to
contact her in any way?" It was like a dagger being driven straight into Jeongyeon's heart. Jihyo
already knew the answer to that. "You say you'd fight for her but the truth is that you didn't. You
didn't try when you had the chance! You just accepted it when she left!"

"Why on earth would I try if I thought she didn't love me anymore???" Jeongyeon exasperatedly
asked. Stood up just as angry.
"She obviously fucking loved you, dumbass! Every time she called me it was the same fucking
thing. How's Jeongyeon doing? Is she doing well in her classes? Is her foot any better?" Jihyo
pitched her voice in a ridiculous attempt to impersonate Nayeon. "Holy shit, it was infuriating!"

"And how the hell am I supposed to know that if you never tell me anything?" Jeongyeon lost her
temper and raised her voice.

"You know I can't do that! I'm breaking the most important rule by telling you this right now."
Jihyo shot back.

"Well, fuck you and your stupid rules!" Jeongyeon yelled.

"Fuck you both and your childish behavior!" Jihyo replied just as mad.

The argument ended there and the kitchen was left in complete silence. The three other girls just
watched them wide-eyed, not knowing what to do and a little startled by all the yelling.

Jeongyeon and Jihyo were panting as if they had just played a full ninety. Both of them knew there
was no hard feeling, they'd had their fair share of screaming matches before. It was almost every
other week when they were back in high school. Nayeon herself was used to that by now and she
would always make fun of them afterwards.

The thing was that none of those fights had ever been about Jeongyeon and Nayeon before, so this
one was a little more tense than normal. Their normal, at least.

"I'm sorry I called your rules stupid." Jeongyeon quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry I called you guys childish." Jihyo replied with an apology of her own.

"It's okay." They said at the same time.

"That was..." Sana wanted to ease up the mood, but even she didn't know what to say after that.

"Intense." Mina completed.

"Chill out, this used to happen all the time when we were younger." Jeongyeon sat back down
feeling considerably calmer. Almost relaxed, in fact. She and Jihyo should get back to fighting
more often, Jeongyeon mused, yelling a little could be good once in a while.

"It's true. We used to drive Nayeon crazy until she finally got used to it. It was fun." Jihyo giggled
as she remembered something and Jeongyeon seemed to be having the exact same memory
because they both burst into laughter when they met each other's eyes.

"Sana, I think we should use these two as our new case study next semester." Momo suggested as
she bewilderedly watched them. "They'll most likely be murdering each other soon."

"I think we'd better send them to Mina's lab to save the rats." Sana answered.

After the laughter subsided and tempers calmed down, Jeongyeon offered to cook for the guests
and Momo since the group lunch at the cafeteria was definitely out of the question.

They kept casual conversations about their own affairs and spent the whole afternoon playing
video games and watching movies cozied up in the dark living room. Momo and Sana had fallen
asleep and Mina was too busy taking pictures of the two of them lying on top of each other when
Jihyo followed Jeongyeon into the kitchen as she went to get a late afternoon snack.
"Hey."

"What's up?"

"I'm sorry I crossed a line earlier." Jihyo apologized again.

"It's okay, I said some bullshit about your rules too."

"No, that's not what I'm talking about. I mean the stuff I said about you not fighting for her. I
shouldn't have-"

"You weren't completely wrong."

"Yes, I was. The way you guys deal with your relationship is none of my business." Jihyo was
visibly downcast and Jeongyeon didn't like to see her like that.

"Jihyo, I asked for your opinion. I told you to be honest and you were, don't worry about that."

"But I still-"

"Shush, I mean it. Trust me, I appreciate your honesty." Jeongyeon patted her back.

"Yeah… okay. But I'm your best friend so that's kind of my job." She offered a week smile in
response. Jeongyeon was about to walk them back into the living room when the captain called out
to her again.

"Jeong..."

"Yeah?"

"What are you going to do now?"

That was the million dollar question, wasn't it?

"I have no idea." She sighed.

Jeongyeon allowed herself to miss another day of school. She didn't have practice so she spent the
whole day at home.

She went over the notes sent by Mina, studied a little bit and played some games to clear her mind.
She had to pretty much kick Momo out of their apartment in the morning because if it was up to
her, she would've stayed in bed with Jeongyeon all day. While enjoying the company, the
goalkeeper figured she had already borrowed Dahyun's girlfriend for way too long.

Jeongyeon had plenty of time to debate about The Nayeon Situation, but no matter how much she
thought about it, she still felt trapped. The whole thing sucked. There were too many feelings and a
lot of difficult questions whose answers she could only get if she asked Nayeon directly.

"She's like, incapable of saying no to you..." Dahyun's voice echoed in the back of her mind.

"I bet she'll tell you if you ask her…" Momo's came soon after, remembering the party on Sunday.

No, nope. It's different. It's not that simple, Jeongyeon told herself.

She tried to tell herself that her friends were wrong because if she indeed believed them, it'd mean
that she could get those answers from Nayeon a lot easier than she had originally thought. But
talking about it with her would also mean that she would've to face the fact that her ex-girlfriend
actually kind-of-said that she still had feelings for her, which would lead to Jeongyeon having to do
something about it, probably.

No, thanks. She's definitely not ready for that. Not yet.

So after thinking long and hard she came to a perfect conclusion about what she would do:
nothing.

"I hope you hired a good plumber so you won't ever have to miss practice unexpectedly again."
Coach Bae mused aloud as soon as Jeongyeon and Momo joined the group on Wednesday
morning. They exchanged a confused look before Jihyo jumped in.

"I made sure they did, Coach, don't worry." The captain lied. "That goddamn pipe won't be a
problem anymore and the girls' apartment is now a completely flood free zone." Jihyo stressed the
last sentence so the roommates would understand and play along.

Between all of that fuss they ended up forgetting to settle the details about the story Jihyo had
come up with as an excuse for them missing Monday's practice, and Coach Bae was very strict
about absences.

"Oh. Yes, sure!" Jeongyeon eagerly nodded. "The leak has been fixed."

"Right!" Momo agreed with an overly unnecessary enthusiasm. "Gosh, the bathroom was a mess."

"I thought the problem was with the kitchen sink?" Coach Bae crossed her arms and tilted her head.
Dammit, why did Jihyo have to give so many details?

The rest of the team was torn between holding back their laughter and casting worried glances at
their friends.

"It was!" Jihyo stepped in again. "But there was water everywhere! Gee, it was a mess, the whole
apartment... ugh, it was awful."

"Yeah, that's right." Jeongyeon, the better liar among the two flatmates, elbowed Momo so that
she'd let her do the talking. "It was terrible, Coach. The water almost reached my shins, Thing Two
and Chaeyoung could've a field day swimming over there."

"What!?"

"Hey!"

Jeongyeon's victims protested, but the rest of the team couldn't help but laugh. Only Tzuyu tried to
control herself out of respect for her girlfriend, but even Coach Bae had to try hard to hold back,
fake coughing to cover it up.

"Good thing they were safe and sound at practice then. That's where you guys should've been too."
Bae called them out once again after the laughter died down. She couldn't afford to go easy on
them. "I want you both running fifteen laps around the field after practice is over."

"Yes, ma'am."

"You got it, Coach."

They wouldn't dare complain.

"What about you, Im?" Coach Bae turned to the girl who was atypically quiet that morning. She
wasn't even anywhere near the kids as she always used to be. "You didn't show up on Monday and
you didn't send any friends to make up an excuse, I mean, give an explanation regarding your
whereabouts. Would you like to give it a try?"

"I had a doctor appointment, ma'am. Here, I have a note." Nayeon handed a piece of paper over to
the coach. "I'm sorry I forgot to tell you about it before, I'll do my best to let you know before next
time."

"I'd rather not have a next time."

"That's what I said, Coach. There won't be a next time." Nayeon forced a big smile. Bae rolled her
eyes and handed the clipboard to Nayeon after instructing the team to start warming up.

As foolish as it might be, Jeongyeon missed having Nayeon's gaze on her during practice. The
older girl hadn't spared a single glance at her direction since she got there. Even though Jeongyeon
had intentionally shown up right on time so as not to have to interact with Nayeon before practice,
she somehow missed her attention.

How fucked up was that? For crying out loud, Jeongyeon, get a fucking grip.

Practice was way more tiring than usual and Jeongyeon suspected that it was Coach Bae's means of
punishing her and Momo even more. The other girls were dismissed and the two roommates were
running their fifteen punishment laps in silence. Jeongyeon couldn't help but watch Nayeon
coaching Dahyun while Yeji was standing in the middle of the goal during their usual extra
session.

"You could at least try to be discreet." Momo said slightly breathlessly.

"Discreet? What do you mean?"

"Oh, so I'm supposed to pretend that you're not staring at Nayeon?"

"I'm not!"

"So you're staring at my girlfriend? Because if you are, we're going to have a problem." Momo
taunted.

"I mean, I'm not staring at anyone. I just... glanced at her."

"Yeah, sure." She prodded but the irony went unnoticed by Jeongyeon, whose attention was still
fully focused on Nayeon.

"Does she look a little... weird?"

"She always seems weird to me." Momo deadpanned.

"Dude, I'm serious."

"Okay, what do you mean by weird?"

"I don't know. Was the whole doctor appointment thing true?"

"I'm not sure, Jeong. I talked to her yesterday but she didn't mention anything about it. I didn't even
know she missed practice on Monday either and oh- oh, if I knew I wouldn't tell you anyway." She
rambled aloud and then tried to correct herself at the end.
"Alright, you're spending too much time with Jihyo, you need to stop." Momo rolled her eyes.

"Why don't you ask her?"

"Because it's none of my business?"

"You can worry about her, you know. It's not a crime."

"Whatever."

"Whatever." Momo parroted her in a childish mock.

Jeongyeon bumped her shoulder to shoulder, making the younger girl lose her balance and fall face
first into the ground with a muffled yelp. The cry Momo let out drew all the attention to them, so
Nayeon and the kids turned around to check what was going on.

"She just stumbled over her own feet. It's fine, she's okay." Jeongyeon lied to her teammates as she
helped Momo up. The younger girl was trying hard to not laugh.

Right at that moment, for the first time since that cold night on the rooftop, Jeongyeon's gaze met
with Nayeon's. However, unlike the pattern, Jeongyeon was the one who broke eye contact first.

It couldn't have lasted more than two seconds, but Jeongyeon still felt utterly exposed, as if Nayeon
could see everything the goalkeeper was feeling - or better yet, hiding. As if she knew everything
that even Jeongyeon herself couldn't understand.

"Really, dude?" Momo complained as she brushed some pieces of grass off her jersey. "You need
to learn how to take a joke."

"Should I add ten more laps since you guys are taking a chit chat break?" Coach Bae shouted just
after she blew the whistle. She stayed behind to supervise the duo's penalty, but she already had all
of her belongings packed up and ready to go, so they knew she wasn't going to add any more laps.

"No, Coach, that's the last one. My bad, it won't happen again." Jeongyeon apologized and took off
again, leaving Momo behind.

"Have you decided what you're going to do about the thing?" Momo caught up with her as soon as
they ran past the goal where Nayeon was coaching the kids.

"I think I'll follow your advice." Jeongyeon didn't dare to look at Nayeon's direction again.

"What advice?" Momo didn't seem to remember at first, but then her face twitched in painful
recognition. "Fuck- Jeongyeon! It was a joke!!"

"So what? It's a great idea. I'm not ready to have that conversation yet."

"Jeongyeon, please don't. Listen, that's not right, it's-"

"What?" She snapped for no apparent reason. "You're going to call me a coward too?"

"I'd never do that." Momo replied right away, sulking and honestly feeling a little offended.

"I know." Jeongyeon regretted it right away. "I'm just stressed, I'm sorry."

"I was going to say that it's dangerous and could possibly cause even more problems later." Momo
just carried on without giving the previous matter any further thought. "You're only postponing the
inevitable. In fact, you might just keep hurting each other even more."

"I've made up my mind, Momo. It's the best I can do for now." She stated with a sense of finality
just after they finally finished the last lap.

"Shit. Okay." Momo propped her hands on her knees and took a few deep breaths to even her
breathing. Talking while running was never a good idea. "I don't agree, but I respect your
decision."

"Yeah, you're into that these days." Jeongyeon teased, remembering that the same words came out
of her mouth a couple of days earlier when they were talking about Nayeon's choices.

"Shut up." Momo lightly shoved the goalkeeper. "I don't have class right now, wanna hang out
before lunch?"

"You should go home and get some rest. I still have to stay for the finishing practice, it should last
a few more minutes."

"Oh- um, yeah, with Nayeon... that's right."

"Yeah..." Jeongyeon glanced over her shoulder to check on the older girl. Still there, still distant.

"Good luck with that." Momo kicked some grass at Jeongyeon before leaving the field.

"Thanks." Jeongyeon didn't even notice since she was too busy trying to muster up the courage to
approach Nayeon.

It's just practice. You do it all the time. Calm the fuck down.

Yeah, easier said than done. Jeongyeon couldn't bring herself to go any closer. She felt stupid and
cursed herself dozens of times because of that, but at the end she just sat on the bench and waited
for the finishing practice to end without her. Coach was gone, she wouldn't find out. It was fine.

She watched from a distance until Nayeon announced the end of the extra practice and felt her
knees going weak as she went over to help the intern collect the training gear scattered around the
floor. The kids left as soon as they saw Jeongyeon approaching, only exchanged a few goodbyes
with Nayeon before nearly running away.

Jeongyeon worked in silence and Nayeon didn't seem in the mood to talk either. When everything
was properly put away, the older girl just thanked her quietly and headed to the locker room while
Jeongyeon stood there, still, watching Nayeon walk away once again.

You're not a coward, Jeongyeon. Don't let her be right.

"Nayeon, wait." The irony did not go unnoticed by Jeongyeon. Just a few weeks ago, Nayeon was
the one who was running after her when she practically tried to flee their first practice together.

"What?" Nayeon stopped but didn't turn around. The goalkeeper quickened her pace to catch up.

"Are you okay?" That's not how she wanted to start this conversation, but she couldn't help it.

"Well, it depends. What are you talking about?" Nayeon slowly turned around and held tightly to
the strap of the satchel she was holding.

"You- you said you went to the doctor and Momo got worried since you didn't mention anything to
her." She had to lie and include Momo to make an excuse for herself. "I know it's none of my
business, but... I was worried too, I guess." Jeongyeon struggled not to stutter.

"I'm fine, don't worry." She turned around and started to walk away again.

"Does it have anything to do with your injury?" Jeongyeon hurriedly asked and Nayeon came to a
halt one more time.

"Sort of." She replied after turning around to face Jeongyeon again, crossing her arms.

"Okay." Jeongyeon responded apologetically, shifting her weight from one leg to the other. She
knew Nayeon could definitely tell that she was nervous. "I- I really hope you're okay." She said
and she meant it.

"I am. Do you wanna talk about anything else?"

"Yes..." It was now or never. Jeongyeon braced herself and put on her best facade. "Actually, I
wanted to thank you."

"Thank me?" Nayeon's face twitched in confusion. "For what?"

"For taking me home on Sunday. It was you, wasn't it?"

"What? No, I didn't do that." Her tone was hesitant.

"You didn't?" Jeongyeon could win an Oscar for the performance she was putting on. Confused
face and all. "Oh, my bad then. I don't really remember anything from that night, so I thought it
might have been you."

Nayeon tensed up and Jeongyeon did her best to stay in character. They were silent for a moment
while the older girl seemed to organize her thoughts.

"Did- did you get home okay?" That's her first concern.

"Yes. Momo was awake and she... well, took care of me."

"If I knew you were in such bad shape I would've walked you home, I'm sorry." Something in
Nayeon's worried tone almost made Jeongyeon give up on the whole thing. She felt bad - or even
worse - even though that was the only part that wasn't a lie.

"Don't worry about it, it was only a few blocks away. I just thought you helped me out because the
last thing I remember clearly is you arriving on the rooftop." She swallowed after telling yet
another lie, trying hard not to bite her lower lip because she knew Nayeon would know she was
hiding something if she did that.

"You-" Nayeon frowned even deeper. "You mean you don't remember anything else?"

"Not much, I just have a few flashes but I don't really remember anything throughout. But I know
we talked a little bit, didn't we? I'm sorry if I said anything stupid or if I was rude to you, I had
been drinking my ass off since the party so I wasn't in my right mind."

"You... oh-" Nayeon stared at the floor. "It's okay, you didn't say anything bad."

"So we're cool?"

"Are we?" Nayeon chuckled awkwardly, still looking down. "You tell me."
 Jeongyeon considered it for a moment. Yet again she knew what Nayeon was trying to say.

"I know I haven't been very nice to you lately, but I guess that's because I was still trying to get
used to you being back."

"You don't have to-"

"No, I do. You and- fuck, I'm-" Jeongyeon stuttered, not quite sure where exacly she was trying to
get. It was way easier when she was only rehearsing it in her head.

"You don't have to explain, Jeongyeon." Nayeon looked up at her. Satchel long forgotten on the
floor and hands behind her back.

"What I'm trying to say is that..." She gulped. Forced the words out. "I'm trying, Nayeon. I really
am." It came out like a whisper. Almost a plea on behalf of everything they had lived together, but
it was enough for the older girl to understand.

Nayeon knew how important it was. Jeongyeon always had a hard time trying to express her
feelings, so even her attempts were reserved only for the people she really cared about.

"I know." Nayeon nodded. "That's enough for me."

Later, as she walked home, Jeongyeon caught herself thinking that maybe she was right.

Maybe Jeongyeon really was a coward, after all.

Chapter End Notes

well now i promise things will get better (i mean, it's not like it could get any worse,
right? lol)
 goddamn wine and goddamn hot girlfriend
Chapter Summary

"It's- it's promise ring." Jeongyeon shakily replied. She stepped closer and opened the
box to reveal its contents to the older girl. "Well- two, actually."

"You..." Nayeon reached out to touch it but stopped at the last second. Then she
looked up at her girlfriend again with wide glistening eyes. "For us?"

"Yes." Jeongyeon nodded and bit her lower lip to stop herself from giggling. No, it
wasn't funny, but she couldn't help it. She felt all the previous tension leave her body
as she saw all those raw feelings printed all over Nayeon's features. "That's why I
wanted to do something special for us today."

Chapter Notes

i'm living to write 2yeon flashbacks at this point

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sure Jihyo would probably kill her for that, but that's the best solution Jeongyeon could find for the
time being. It did sound crazy when Momo cracked that silly joke a couple of days before, but now
it seemed like the case scenario since she still didn't know how to deal with everything that
happened in the last few days. It wasn't a permanent solution, for sure, but it was a reasonably
temporary fix.

Jeongyeon still had feelings for Nayeon, there's no point in denying it. But she was also feeling
overwhelmed and needed some time to think about what all of that meant.

Even though her conversation with her friends had clarified some points, there was still the worst
and most complicated part: all the drama about Nayeon going to Stanford wasn't real. She didn't
exactly lie, but she also didn't tell the truth either.

Jeongyeon didn't know if Momo or Jihyo knew anything about that and asking either of them
might expose Nayeon. So yeah, she couldn't debate that specific matter with anybody else. Her
only option was to talk to Nayeon herself, but discussing it with her also meant admitting that she
remembered the whole conversation they had on the rooftop, which implied acknowledging and
accepting that her ex-girlfriend still had feelings for her too.

So that's a no go, Jeongyeon definitely wasn't ready for that yet. She had no option but to keep it to
herself and try to sort out all her inner turmoil on her own. And that's fine, it was okay. She was
used to it anyway.

[10:47 am] Momoring: DID YOU TALK???????

Jeongyeon saw Momo's text as soon as she left the field. She figured she'd better make a group chat
and get it over with.

Yoo(r) #1 added Satang, Minari e Godhyo to the conversation.

[11:10 am] Yoo(r) #1: Nayeon and I talked

[11:11 am] Godhyo: What happened

[11:11 am] Minari: Are you okay?

[11:11 am] Momoring: why'd you make a group

[11:12 am] Yoo(r) #1: witnesses

[11:12 am] Minari: Witnesses? Why?

[11:13 am] Satang: jihyo

[11:13 am] Momoring: oh, jihyo

[11:14 am] Godhyo: Ok yeah, teasing. Unprovoked

[11:14 am] Satang: whats going on dude?

[11:14 am] Satang: just get it over with

[11:16 am] Yoo(r) #1: so, funny story lol I was talking to momo the other day......

[10:16 am] Satang: here we go...

[11:16 am] Minari: Why do I feel like this isn't going to be funny at all?

[11:17 am] Momoring: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN I TOLD YOU IT WAS A JOKE

[11:17 am] Godhyo: Just spit it out already, Yoo

Yoo. Damn it. Jihyo was onto her already.

Jeongyeon wasn't a religious person by any means, but she did ask for some higher being to watch
over her just this once.

[11:19 am] Yoo(r) #1: she kind of told me that if she was in my shoes, she would play dumb to
avoid the bigger problem

[11:20 am] Satang: play dumb? what? like she isn't...?

[11:20 am] Momoring: jfc jeongyeon i was kidding

[11:20 am] Momoring: HEY

[11:20 am] Godhyo: What do u mean by play dumb???

[11:20 am] Momoring: sana i swear to dog..

[11:20 am] Momoring: i meant god

[11:21 am] Momoring: i WILL found you and i WILL kill you
[11:21 am] Yoo(r) #1: I told Nayeon that I was too drunk and that don't remember anything we
talked about that night

[11:22 am] Satang: LOL WHAT

[11:22 am] Satang: FUCK YOU'RE KIDDING RIGHT

[11:22 am] Minari: I was right, it's not a funny story at all

[11:23 am] Satang: it was the auto-corrector, sorry

[11:23 am] Satang: it really isn't funny

[11:23 am] Satang: not funny at all

[11:23 am] Satang: jeongyeon

[11:23 am] Satang: please say sike

[11:23 am] Yoo(r) #1: technically it's not a lie, I did drink too much

[11:24 am] Yoo(r) #1: I'm not quite ready to talk about it with her yet, so I thought it was better to
let things... go with flow

[11:24 am] Satang: go with flow

[11:24 am] Satang: GO WITH THE FLOW

[11:24 am] Satang: ok now you're just making things hard for me for fun aren't you?

[11:24 am] Minari: And what happens when you're ready to talk?

[11:24 am] Minari: You just gonna tell her that you lied?

[11:25 am] Yoo(r) #1: I haven't thought about this part yet

[11:25 am] Satang: i want it to go on record that hirai momo was her accomplice in this whole
thing.

[11:25 am] Satang: it's her, officer. you can take her

[11:26 am] Momoring: I TOLD HER I WAS ONLY FOOLING AROUND I DIDN'T THINK SHE
WOULD TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

[11:26 am] Minari: Technically we're all accomplices now. If she made this group it's because she
wants us to back her story, I guess

[11:27 am] Satang: that's what i said, we're all accomplices now #istandwithjeongyeon

[11:27 am] Yoo(r) #1: i don't want you to lie for me or anything like that, just... don't tell the truth
either...? if that makes sense

[11:28 am] Satang: i'd lie for you

[11:28 am] Satang: i'd perjure myself for you

[11:28 am] Satang: i'd die for you, yoo jeongyeon

[11:28 am] Momoring: i'd kill you, minatozaki sana

[11:29 am] Satang: i'd like to see you tryna live without me

[11:29 am] Minari: It's okay, Jeong. We've got you

[11:29 am] Momoring: fuck nobody ever takes me seriously and when they do shit like that
happens

[11:29 am] Minari: I always take you seriously, Momo

[11:29 am] Momoring: yes minari because you are an angel

[11:29 am] Momoring: and also much smarter than jeongyeon when it comes to properly
interpreting what i said instead of jUST TAKING THE PART THAT SUITS HER BEST

[10:29 am] Satang: why don't you go and call your girlfriend an angel

[11:30 am] Momoring: i already do

[11:30 am] Satang: uh right, me too

[11:30 am] Momoring: bro one day i'm gonna beat the shit out of you

[11:30 am] Yoo(r) #1: jihyo? can you please say something?

[11:31 am] Satang: she must be on her way to your house to kick your ass

[11:31 am] Satang: wanna me to stop by and protect you? i can be there in 5

[11:31 am] Momoring: i dont think you will be in a position to defend anyone after i find you

[11:32 am] Yoo(r) #1: ji...

[11:32 am] Yoo(r) #1: anything? anything at all? please

[11:33 am] Godhyo: [sent audio message]

[11:33 am] Yoo(r) #1: fuck

[10:33 am] Momoring: ten minutes long??

[10:33 am] Momoring: cap you recorded a whole podcast just to roast jeong's ass

[10:33 am] Momoring: respect

[11:33 am] Satang: let me know when the movie comes out

[11:34 am] Minari: I'll listen to it in a minute, I'm just waiting for my class to be over

After being forced to listen to the newest All The Things I Hate About Yoo Jeongyeon - Jihyo's Cut,
the goalkeeper managed to come to an agreement with the group.

She really wasn't asking for much, after all, Nayeon obviously wouldn't be asking anything to Sana
or Mina since they weren't exactly close friends. Jihyo also had her rules and since Momo had
already said that Nayeon never talked about Jeongyeon with her, it wasn't as if anything could go
wrong.
Although she did feel a little guilty about lying, she still tried to keep in mind that it wasn't entirely
her fault. If Nayeon would simply tell the whole truth they wouldn't be in this position right now. It
would be easier to make a decision once she had all the facts.

What decision was she talking about? Yet another great question. She didn't know either.

It's not as if Nayeon had asked for another chance or anything like that. That's not something she
would do, right? She just kept going on about taking responsibility or whatever the hell that meant.
Everything was still pretty confusing and that's exactly why Jeongyeon needed some time.

But the fact that Nayeon openly said that she couldn't deny that she loved Jeongyeon meant
something, didn't it? It must mean something.

So while she was trying to figure it all out, Jeongyeon decided that she'd do her best to improve the
"predicament" with Nayeon. She'd quit that stupid defense mechanism where she just ignored her
presence altogether because it definitely wouldn't help her figure it all out any faster. Maybe if
Nayeon felt more comfortable with her again she could finally tell Jeongyeon whatever she was not
telling her yet, right? It was worth a try.

"We should throw a small gathering at our place sometime. Get the whole team together, you
know. It's been a while." Jeongyeon suggested as she walked side by side with Momo as they made
their way to the cafeteria.

It had been a few days since Jeongyeon and Nayeon last talked and since then she had been making
an effort to be... nicer to the older girl. They weren't even close to being friends or anything like
that - Jeongyeon didn't even know if that's something she actually wanted - but they were in
speaking terms and apparently making progress.

"Who are you and what have you done with my friend Jeongyeon?" Momo replied with such
surprise that it almost made Jeongyeon feel offended.

"Why are you messing with me? I'm just trying to be nice."

"I'm just worried." Her brow was furrowed. "You already complain enough when Dahyun and I
spend too much time at our place."

"No, it's not because you spend time there. It's because you're the messiest people I know. Who the
hell uses four knives and five spoons just to make breakfast? And don't even get me started on the
number of cups you two leave lying around the house! I've found mugs in the bathroom, Momo, in
the bathroom!"

"That's exactly my point." Momo ignored the complaints. "If two people make enough mess to
annoy the fuck out of you, just imagine what twenty plus athletes would do."

"But you and Dahyun aren't normal people, you're way worse than twenty athletes."

"Stop bullshitting me, where did that come from? Why do you want to throw a party?" Momo
asked when they finally reached the usual table. Nayeon, Jihyo and Sana were already there.

"Who's throwing a party and where?" Sana cut in.

"It's not a party, it's a gathering. A small one." Jeongyeon sat down next to Nayeon because she
was on the other side of her usual spot at the table, but the goalkeeper didn't even notice. Also,
Nayeon seemed pretty invested in a conversation with Jihyo, who was settled on the other side.
"You're throwing a what now?" It got Jihyo's attention. "Since when do you throw fucking
gatherings?" She air quoted the last word.

"Gee, you guys are so fucking annoying, I just wanted to do something nice for us. I was even
going to cook but now you've ruined it." Jeongyeon took a textbook out of her backpack to start
reviewing for a test she was taking later that day. She and Momo had already had lunch at home,
they only went down to the cafeteria because that's the gang's meeting.

"If Jeongyeon's cooking, then I'm definitely in." Mina finally showed up.

"Hey, I was wondering why Sana was here and you weren't." Jeongyeon's face lightened up at her
presence. "Didn't you guys have class together this morning?"

"Yeah, we did. But I actually attended class, whereas Sana didn't." Mina cast a scolding look at her
roommate.

"Trust me, it's not my fault." Sana raised her hands in surrender. "I'd much rather have spent the
last hour sitting by your side, but I've got this class figured out. I needed the time to study for a
harder test I'm taking later."

"Skipping classes to study really is the essence of college, so I can't judge Sana this time." Jihyo
pointed out, looking genuinely upset that she couldn't antagonize Sana this time around. Pout and
all.

"Did you miss me?" Sana ignored Jihyo and turned her attention back to Mina with her best flirty
smile.

"Nope. Not you, but your ability to take notes. I had to take my own today, it was awful." Mina
replied, unfazed.

"You really like to hurt people, don't you? Is it some kind of kink I should know about?"

"I think I'm going to throw up." Momo rolled her eyes at the vicious puppy-dog eyes Sana was
trying to pull. "Sit down, Mina. We have to find out what's wrong with Jeongyeon."

"There's nothing wrong with me!"

Mina was about to sit next to Jihyo when Nayeon quickly stood up, yielding the space next to
Jeongyeon to her. Mina's usual spot.

"Uh, my bad." Nayeon took her usual seat next to Jihyo, tossing her backpack on the floor between
her legs and avoiding eye contact.

"No- ah, that's not... necessary. Eh, thanks, I guess." Mina awkwardly sat down.

"It's okay, I insist." She flashed a tight-lipped smile at the younger girl and turned her attention
back to the book she had been reading since Jihyo interrupted their chat.

Well that was weird, Jeongyeon noted.

But she didn't have time to dwell about it any further because they heard heavy footsteps marching
toward their table. Jeongyeon turned around to find Dahyun angrily approaching them. Her pale
skin was intensely flushed, even more than it used to be during their practices, so everyone could
tell that something was off.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Momo was frowning in concern as she immediately stood up and wrapped
her arms around her girlfriend.

"I-" Dahyun closed her eyes and struggled to even her breathing. It was obvious that she was trying
to keep her voice in check as well. "Ugh, I'm going to kill them!"

They didn't need to be rocket scientists to know who Dahyun was talking about, so Jeongyeon just
braced herself and waited for the next bombshell to be dropped.

It took Momo a while to get Dahyun to calm down enough to sit and tell all of them what
happened. After her initial outburst died down, she explained that Jennie and Lisa had managed to
lock her and Yerim inside of a classroom after they had stayed behind to compare the answers of
the test they had just taken.

They were able to leave briefly since the next students got there and let them out, but the problem
was that Dahyun had another test right after that one. She got to her next class fifteen minutes late
and had to explain that her delay was due to unforeseen circumstances. Since she had a good record
as a student, her professor ignored her lag and let her take the test anyway, but Dahyun felt like she
didn't do too well because besides her stress level being high, she also had less time to get it done.

"No, I'm going to kill them!" Momo tried to stand up, but Jihyo pulled her down from one side
while Dahyun held her from the other.

"No, honey, it's okay. I got a little worked up but I'm feeling better now."

"It's okay? These bicthes keep crossing line after line. Why can't they just fill our locker room with
shaving cream like normal people??" Momo was way angrier than Dahyun had been minutes
before.

"Because they're like part of the Revenants the Earp family left behind. Their only goal is to make
us pay for our sins in advance, like an ongoing purgatory." Jeongyeon replied almost as angry as
Momo. She really, really hated those girls. Jihyo, on the other side of the table, shifted
uncomfortably in her seat, but she looked just as upset as the rest of them.

"First off, that's probably the nerdiest thing you've ever said, but that's okay because you're hot
enough for us to let this one go." Sana winked at Jeongyeon and then turned her attention back to
the couple. "Second, if you need help to hide the bodies, I'm all in." She slipped her arm over
Dahyun's shoulders to place a supportive hand on Momo's arm. "They messed with our girlfriend,
enough is enough."

"Exactly!" Momo eagerly nodded but then something clicked and she made a face. "Wait, did you
just say our girlfriend?"

Sana shook her head no, feigning confusion and Dahyun couldn't help but laugh. Momo stood up
and switched places with Dahyun to get her girlfriend away from Sana, also taking the opportunity
to punch her best friend while the rest of the girls allowed themselves to relax a bit as they laughed
at them. Even Momo managed to calm down eventually, Sana always found a way to lighten up
the mood.

"I say it's our turn to attack." Sana stated looking at Nayeon. The rest of them followed her gaze
and backed her up, even Jeongyeon.

"Why are you looking at me?" Nayeon grimaced. She closed the book and placed it on the table.

"You're our evil mind." Sana replied.

"You've got the best plans." Jeongyeon chipped in before it could turn into an argument. She cast a
scolding glance at Sana and then an apologetic smile at Nayeon.

"You don't have to do it alone this time, I want to help if I can." Mina backed her up, catching
Nayeon's attention.

"I..." Nayeon glanced between Mina and Jeongyeon a few times and then nodded to the rest of the
girls. "I'll think of something. I'll let you guys know soon."

"Great!" Jihyo wrapped up the matter for now. "Now let's talk about the party Jeongyeon is
throwing for us."

"Gathering!" She corrected her best friend. "It's not a party."

"Like I said before, If you're gonna cook then it's a party for me."

"Momo and I are going to cook."

"Yeah, no. I didn't agree to that."

"But you're my sous chef, you know."

"I'll be busy with... stuff."

"I didn't even set a date."

"Then set one already so I can find something else to do."

"Momo, c'mon! Let's do it, pleeease." Jeongyeon whined but to no avail. Momo just shook her head
again.

Fortunately, Dahyun came to the rescue by leaning over to whisper something in Momo's ear. She
even took one of her hands off her girlfriend's waist to cover her lips.

"Fuck..." Momo blushed. Cursed under her breath, but everyone heard. She then cleared her throat
before speaking again. "I- I'm going to clear my schedule."

"Whipped." Sana scoffed with shit-eating grin on her face.

"But what's the occasion? Is it someone's birthday?" Dahyun asked as she hugged her girlfriend
tighter and laid her chin on her shoulder.

"Nothing special." Jeongyeon dropped the smug smile she was casting at Momo. "I just... I don't
know, I feel like spending some quality time with the team. Do something nice, I guess."

"Okay, now seriously, where is she?? Jeongyeon, please come home, the kids miss you!!!" Momo
shouted the last sentence dramatically looking up at the sky.

"Anyway," Jeongyeon ignored Momo and moved on. Did her best to cover up the subtle look she
cast at Nayeon. "You're all invited. I'll check with Momo and set the date, but it'll probably be this
weekend."

And then it was.

As promised, the following Saturday they were gathered in the small apartment Jeongyeon shared
with Momo. They invited the whole team, but since it was the midterms week not everyone could
make it. Thank goodness, Jeongyeon thought. There were about fifteen people in the apartment and
the goalkeeper was already feeling a little suffocated. But she could handle it, that's something she
had to do.

Jeongyeon didn't exactly have a plan. Far from it, in fact. She just had a few ideas that she needed
to put into practice to work on her situation with Nayeon. She came to the conclusion that she and
Nayeon had to be more than just civil to each other so she could finally feel comfortable enough to
tell whatever it was she was omitting. God, she was starting to hate that word. But, if she hadn't
told either Momo or Jihyo - and that's a big if, just an assumption since she couldn't be sure - it
must be something serious.

Jeongyeon's thoughts kept coming back to Nayeon's mother. There had to be something wrong
with her, right? That's the most logical explanation. But what, exactly? And why was Nayeon so
adamant about keeping it a secret?

Either way, Jeongyeon was trying. Just as she promised Nayeon she would, even though she wasn't
sure what exactly she was promising. She was trying to be more friendly without actually being
friends. Easy peasy. That's why she had the idea to throw a not-party.

For starters, Jeongyeon knew that Nayeon always loved it when she took the time to cook for her,
so that could be a good peace offering. Of course she couldn't just call Nayeon and invite her ex-
girlfriend over for dinner, that would be too weird, so she invited the whole team and hoped she
would show up. Thankfully, it worked out.

"I brought wine." Nayeon announced as soon as she crossed the door next with Jihyo, bottle in
hand.

"I brought myself." Yerim arrived right behind her. She and Chaeyoung did a weird handshake
before settling into the living room.

The snacks had been served, the whole team was already settled around the apartment while
Jeongyeon and Momo finished the main course in the kitchen. Dahyun was also there, of course,
and Jeongyeon lost count of how many times she had rolled her eyes because of the endless PDA
between the two of them since... well, since she woke up because Dahyun had spent last night
over, so the torture had started first thing in the morning.

Jeongyeon took a moment to look out over the counter that divided the two rooms. The team was
well spread out comfortably over the couch, armchair, and the carpet; music was playing in the
background while Mina and Jihyo faced each other in a match of Call of Duty with supporters on
both sides: Sana was all but poking Jihyo trying to make her lose, while Yves was shouting
encouragement to the captain only to thwart Sana; all of that in the midst of the other board and
card games going on around them.

They all seemed amused in their own activities and eventually Jeongyeon's gaze fell on Nayeon,
who was already looking at her. Oh, it's happening again. Nayeon looked away to the TV, her
flushed cheeks could be seen from afar. It warmed Jeongyeon's heart in a way that she didn't want -
or rather was unable - to explain. She bit back her smile, went back in and hit the kissing couple
with the dishcloth on her way to the stove. Ew, gross.

After a while the three girls ended up going back to the living room. Jeongyeon practically dragged
Momo and Dahyun to join in the conversations and game rounds going on in the next room saying
that they would end up spilling saliva all over the food if they stayed in the kitchen any longer.

"If I win, we kiss. No questions asked. Just a kiss and that's it." Sana proposed as she took Yerim's
previously seat. The younger girl had just lost a match to Mina, being the fourth person in a row.

Jeongyeon snorted and rolled her eyes at Sana's shameless antics, while Yves took the opportunity
to tease her once again. "Oh, so that's how you get pretty girls to kiss you? Through bets?"

"Deal." Mina replied before Sana could engage in an argument.

"Really?" Sana sounded surprised.

"I won't lose." Mina confidently said with a sly grin Jeongyeon hadn't seen before.

"Oh, it's on." Sana pressed play.

Jeongyeon could only shake her head and go back to the kitchen. She really wanted to see that
match, but she also needed to check on the food.

After making sure everything was set and all the burners were off, the goalkeeper opened the
fridge and started to move some drinks out of the refrigerator to make sure they wouldn't freeze.
She was absentmindedly taking out each bottle until an unknown presence creeped out just behind
her.

"Hey, are you okay?" The goalkeeper practically jumped. The startle made her drop one of the
bottles and it shattered right between her feet with a flump. Frozen liquid and broken glass flying
everywhere.

"Damn it!" Jeongyeon moved away as quickly as she could but still managed to get her legs wet.

"Fuck! I'm sorry, Jeong. I didn't mean to..." She trailed off. Reached over taking a dishcloth off the
table to try to contain the damage.

"Shit." Jeongyeon watched Nayeon kneel and try to dry off the liquid for a couple of seconds but
then she reacted. Grabbed some paper towels to help her out.

"I'm really sorry." She repeated it, sounding undoubtedly nervous.

"It's fine, it's not a big deal. Here, get some of these." They worked together filling the wet floor
with paper towels. "At least it was already frozen, I guess it could be worse."

They stood up after they finished, both watching the cloud of wet paper on the floor.

"It's going to take a whole lot of work to clean that up. Where can I find a mop?"

"Relax, Nayeon. Breathe a little." Jeongyeon noticed she was way too tense, even her breathing
was a bit erratic.

Following Jeongyeon's instruction, Nayeon took a few deep breaths and shifted her gaze back to
the floor. She was almost managing to calm herself down, but her gaze fell on Jeongyeon's legs,
making her gasp.

"You're hurt!"

"What??" The goalkeeper looked down and spotted a cut on her right shin that she hadn't noticed
yet. How the hell did she miss that? "Oh."

"You... ah, shit." Nayeon bent down to check the cut more closely. "I don't think it's deep."
"I'm pretty sure it's fine, I didn't even notice. Don't worry." Jeongyeon hadn't felt anything before,
but now that she knew there was a cut there, the bruise was starting to sting.

"I think a few gauzes, cotton and some bandages should take care of it." Nayeon was still
crouched, examining the bruise closely.

"I don't think that's nec-"

"Gauzes, cotton and bandages, Jeongyeon." Nayeon rose up, suddenly standing way closer than
what was set as safe in her books. "Where can I find it?"

"Ba-bathroom. End of the hall." Faced with Nayeon's authoritative tone, Jeongyeon's response was
automatic.

Nayeon left the kitchen after she mumbled a "I'll be right back," and Jeongyeon felt like she could
breathe again.

She took a few more seconds to assimilate what was happening. Then she remembered that the
first aid kit was on top of the bathroom cabinet, where she herself had to jump to get it and Momo
could only reach it by going up a stool, but said stool was now being used by Ryujin in the living
room.

Jeongyeon left the kitchen as quietly as she could. Glanced toward the living room and noticed that
the noises were louder than before. Everyone seemed overly preoccupied with the clash between
Sana and Mina. The other games had been briefly paused and everyone was watching the screen as
they all made loud comments and gave instructions to the player they were rooting for. It made
sense that no one was paying enough attention to hear the ruckus in the kitchen, the battle going on
in the living room seemed way too interesting.

Jeongyeon peeked down the hall and saw Nayeon standing on the tip of her toes, struggling to
reach the top of the cabinet. She couldn't help but giggle as she made her way to the bathroom.
With a little hop to reach it she retrieved the first aid kit keeping in mind that she and Momo
should move it somewhere else soon, in case of emergencies.

Then she made her way to her bedroom instead of going back to the kitchen, motioning for Nayeon
to follow her. The older girl nodded and hesitantly stepped inside.

"The kitchen's wet and I don't wanna get in the way of whatever is going on in the living room, so
I'm just gonna patch it up here real quick. You can stay if you want." Jeongyeon explained before
collapsing on her swivel chair.

"Uh, right. Okay." That's all Nayeon said. She was standing by the door Jeongyeon had just closed
with her hands behind her back and a weird look on her face.

Her eyes traveled over the décor: from the posters on the walls to the books on the shelves; from
the clothes neatly folded on top of the dresser to the perfectly made bed full of pillows in the corner
of the room. Nayeon shamelessly took it all in with her curious wide eyes and even though there
wasn't the slightest inkling of judgment there, Jeongyeon felt a little self-conscious about having
most of her belongings under her ex's thoughtful gaze.

Oh, that's right, Jeongyeon mused, that's the first time Nayeon had ever been in her room.

They had spent an awful amount of time hanging out together in the dorm room Jeongyeon shared
with Sana during their freshman year; and much more time cuddling in the goalkeeper's childhood
bedroom back at her parents house. But here, in this apartment, in this not so new bedroom, it's the
first time Nayeon has ever been here.

"See anything you like?" Jeongyeon quipped after a few seconds.

"Sorry." Nayeon blushed and glanced at Jeongyeon's bruised leg.

"You keep saying that." Jeongyeon tried to joke to ease up the mood.

"I keep messing up." The intern thoughtlessly replied.

An awkward silence almost ensued, but Nayeon stepped closer to Jeongyeon before the goalkeeper
could think of anything to say.

"Let me do that for you." She sat down in front of Jeongyeon and opened the first aid box. "I
caused it, I'll fix it."

"You didn't cause it." Jeongyeon tried but she didn't stop her since Nayeon was already spraying
the cleaning medicine over a piece of cotton.

"Didn't I scare you?"

"Sort of..."

"There you go, then." Nayeon started the cleaning process as carefully as she could, wiping the
wound and Jeongyeon flinched a little with the contact.

"What were you doing in the kitchen anyway?" She tried to keep her voice steady, closing her eyes
as if that would help ease the pain.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Oh, that's right. She remembered that's what Nayeon
asked as she barged into the kitchen.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because of the whole thing with Mina?" Nayeon halted her movements and looked up at the other
girl. The mention of Mina made Jeongyeon open her eyes.

"Mina?" Jeongyeon got a little worried. "Did something happen to her? She seemed fine when I
walked by just now."

"I meant with Sana. Mina and Sana, the kissing bet. You heard it, you were there."

"What do you mean?" She was getting more confused by the second. "Why wouldn't I be okay
about that?"

"Oh." Nayeon looked away and resumed her attention to the cut. "I just thought..."

"You thought what?" Jeongyeon wanted Nayeon to look at her again, but she did nothing but stare
at her from above.

"A couple of years ago, if your girlfriend made a bet about kissing someone else, I know for a fact
that you'd be upset. But if you're okay with that kind of stuff now that's fine, it's none of my
business anyway. I mean if you have an open relationship or whatever- shit, nevermind, I just
wanted to check on you, that's all." Nayeon rambled, feeling embarrassed.

"My... AH!" Jeongyeon gasped as she finally understood what was going on, but also because
Nayeon brushed the cotton against a slightly sensitive spot.

"Sorry!"

"It's okay." She took a deep breath and also took the time to admit to herself what she really, really
didn't want to: Jihyo was right. Jeongyeon should've told Nayeon - or at least had someone else tell
her - that the thing between her and Mina was nothing but friendship. After all, all the other girls
knew. All except Nayeon, apparently. "Mina is not my girlfriend."

"She's... she's not?" Nayeon hesitantly asked. She replaced the blood-stained cotton with a clean
one and resumed her work without looking up. "Are you sure?"

Jeongyeon shook her head but then realized that Nayeon couldn't see her, so she answered mid-
chuckling. "I'm pretty sure I'd know if I was dating anyone."

"But you guys..." Jeongyeon could tell she was debating whether or not to delve on the matter.
Nayeon kept her gaze on the wound, cleaning it more carefully after the last slip. She placed her
other hand on Jeongyeon's calf to better stabilize her leg and the goalkeeper did her best to ignore
the way her skin tingled at the mere contact. "You're like- always together, just like we used to be
when we-" She stopped to rephrase. "I mean, you seem like a couple, that's all."

"Mina... well, she's like... she takes the word introvert to a whole nother level, so she feels more
comfortable around me or Sana. So yeah, we hang out a lot but we aren't dating." Jeongyeon
patiently explained. "She's been getting closer to the others by now, I don't know if you've noticed.
Well, everyone but you, of course, because she thinks you hate her."

"I don't-" Nayeon almost denied it, but only almost. "Wait... when I first came to your apartment-
yeah, unannounced, I know and I'm sorry about that again. But I thought you guys were..."

"We did have a... uh, a thing, I guess, but it's over now." Nayeon's hand faltered for a single second
and Jeongyeon felt like she had to explain. She knew she didn't owe Nayeon anything, but she
wanted to make things clear anyway. "It was just a one-time thing. We met at a party and, I don't
know, we just kind of just hit it off? Yeah, but we talked and realized that it'd be better to just be
friends. We never actually dated or anything like that." She skipped the part where Nayeon's text
triggered a series of chaotic events that night.

"Oh, right. Got it." Nayeon finished with the cleaning and proceeded to bandage it up.

"Sana flirts with Mina on a daily basis, all the fucking time, and you really thought we were
dating?" Jeongyeon couldn't believe that Nayeon really had fallen for that.

"Sana flirts with everyone." Although she couldn't see Nayeon's face, Jeongyeon was pretty sure
she had at the very least rolled her eyes. "Even with Dahyun. And Dahyun is dating Momo, her
childhood best friend."

"Because Momo doesn't really mind. You know Momo and Sana are just like me and Jihyo,
they've been friends since forever. Sana's sole purpose in life is to rile Momo up and vice versa.
Besides, Sana really respects taken women." Nayeon scoffed upon hearing that.

"The fuck she does! Sana used to hit on you all the time when we were together." Nayeon stared
and arched an eyebrow at Jeongyeon as if she was challenging her to refute what she just said. Uh,
okay, so she's going to be that blunt from now on?

"It wasn't serious! And it wasn't all the time, it was just..." Jeongyeon blushed again and looked
away. "Well, you know. She liked to get under your skin and you were just too easy to tease."
"Yeah, that's one way to put it." Nayeon chuckled and shifted her eyes back to the dressing she was
almost finishing.

In hindsight, the relationship between Nayeon and Sana had always been kinda interesting. Even
funny, to most people.

When the former couple first came to college with Jihyo, Momo and Sana had also just arrived. As
they were all freshmen, Nayeon was lucky to be paired with Momo's as her roommate, and even if
they didn't know each other before, they hit it off right away. Jeongyeon, on the other hand, ended
up with Sana, who was honestly a thorn in Nayeon's side for a really long time.

Well, there's no way around it, Nayeon has always been the jealous type. And Jeongyeon not only
knew about it, but also fancied this side of her. She had been fighting enough inner battles to
decide whether it was mildly cute or terribly attractive since they got together, but she hadn't been
able to come to a conclusion yet. And wait, that's definitely not the point right now.

The fact was that it was never a big deal or anything worth worrying about, after all, Nayeon did
trust Jeongyeon blindly. But it was also a fact that the goalkeeper tended to draw unwanted
attention, which was something Nayeon was never really pumped about. But because Nayeon was
Nayeon, she liked to make sure that everyone knew that Jeongyeon was hers- or rather was with
her, of course.

So when Jeongyeon ended up being roommates with the flirtiest fucking person they'd ever met - a
real stud per se - Nayeon immediately disliked Sana at first sight. But as they got to know each
other better, first by being together as a team and then because they actually clicked, Nayeon and
Sana developed a friendship. A strange kind of friendship, but still a good one.

Still, Sana never saved any efforts to tease Nayeon, so that friendship was brimming with plenty of
friendly banter that became a little less friendly after all the drama between Nayeon and Jeongyeon
went down and the older one left.

"You know what? You're lucky that I still keep the actual predators away from Jeongyeon. They
respect me, you know? As long as she's with me, she's safe."

Jeongyeon recalled a particular conversation between Nayeon and Sana. It happened a couple of
years ago when they were having a movie night over at the dorm Nayeon shared with Momo. It
was midway through their first semester and they all were getting along pretty well by then. Jihyo
and the girl she was hooking up with at the time were also there.

Nayeon even called that evening a triple date just to taunt Momo and Sana and watch them
cringing at the thought. Jeongyeon saw her girlfriend laugh like a drain but she knew Sana would
retaliate soon enough. And she did indeed strike back, it only took a few minutes.

"What do you mean by actual predators?" Nayeon threw some popcorn at Sana.

"Here we go..." Momo already knew that Sana was about to taunt Nayeon as well.

"C'mon, I can't believe you don't know. I mean, I know you're dense but you can't be that blind."
Sana had an overbearing smirk on her face. Nayeon and Jeongyeon were peacefully lying against
the headboard of Nayeon's bed, but Sana just could let them be.

"What are you talking about?" She repeated and the goalkeeper held Nayeon by her waist so she
wouldn't fall off the bed.

"Be cool, babe. She's just trying to push your buttons." Jeongyeon tried to help but to no avail.
Nayeon had fallen right into Sana's trap and was already shifting restlessly on her girlfriend's arms.

"Oh, I wish I was. It would be so much easier for me if I was only playing around. I can't even
hang out with other people in our classes anymore because I have to take care of our Jeongyeon for
you." Sana's tone was laced with irony but Nayeon was too far gone to notice.

"What's she talking about?" She gave up on Sana and shot a quizzical glance at Jeongyeon.

"What I'm talking about, Im Nayeon," Sana preached out loud, reclaiming the striker's attention. "Is
about the little fan club our beloved goalkeeper has earned since we got here. Did you seriously not
notice? Maybe it's because you don't have any classes together, but I can assure you that they're in
every single class I take with our girl. It's impossible to go five minutes without having someone
all but drooling over her like she's a god-sent gift."

"Sana, can you stop? You're just-" Jeongyeon tried to shush her again but the younger girl was on a
mission.

"Well, we can't blame them, can we? Tall, blonde and gorgeous. Damn, I'd risk everything for her
too if I didn't know she's taken."

"She's just sayi-"

"That's why I need to make it clear that I'm not your biggest threat here, Nayeonie. In fact, I'm not a
threat at all, I'm an ally. I keep them away, I'm team 2yeon's biggest protector. Call me captain
'cause I'm going down with this ship!"

"Actually, that's me." Jihyo seized the proximity to kick Sana during her protest.

"I'll tell you what you are!" Jeongyeon tossed a pillow at Sana's and then cupped Nayeon's face
between her hands right after. "Hey, you know she just wants to mess with you, right? She's- Sana,
shut up!"

Sana was laughing so hard that Jeongyeon had to close her eyes and take a deep breath to resist the
urge to get up to kick her as well. She gently held Nayeon's face closer and gave her a peck before
she kept going.

"Don't let her get to you. You know you're my number one."

"Does it mean you might have a number two?" Nayeon had her arms crossed and a frown on her
face.

"Yeah, but that's Jihyo." Jeongyeon whispered so that her best friend wouldn't hear.

It got a smile out of Nayeon and Jeongyeon kissed her again, but for real that time. She actually
kissed Nayeon all evening and made it her special mission to torment all of her friends - read
traitors - by being overly affectionate with Nayeon.

Sure Sana was the one who started it, but Momo and Jihyo could've at least tried to help her out a
little. But no, instead Momo just laid there laughing and Jihyo chose to focus on whatever her not-
girlfriend was talking about. If that wasn't betrayal, what was it? They deserved it.

By the next morning Jeongyeon genuinely thought that they had already wrapped up the matter.
Everything was supposed to be normal, after all, in her point of view Sana was only lying to tease
Nayeon. Either way, at the end of the day Nayeon had nothing to worry about. So when Jeongyeon
opened her dorm door to find her girlfriend waiting for her in the hallway, she had absolutely no
idea about what was going on.

"Hi?" Jeongyeon greeted, checking her out.

Nayeon always looked put together, she was never the type to walk around without at least a little
bit of makeup on. She had a reputation to uphold or something like that, at least that's what she was
always talking about. Nevertheless, Jeongyeon always thought she was effortlessly pretty, and she
always made a point of telling her that at every chance she got.

However, that morning, it was clear that Nayeon had put extra effort into it. Nobody should have
the right to look this beautiful so early in the morning, Jeongyeon marveled.

"You look nice." She quickly added, unable to hold back.

"Hi!" Nayeon chirped with a smile, far more excited than anyone should be this early. "Thank you.
Right back at you."

"I literally just washed my face."

"I stand by what I said." Nayeon just stood there with her perfect posture and hands clasped
together behind her back.

"Uh, what are you doing here?" Jeongyeon narrowed her eyes at her.

That's suspicious. Nayeon didn't have any classes that morning and Jeongyeon knew for a fact that
she'd been spending every spare time she had lately sleeping in, since the busy schedule they were
in had been wearing them out.

"Good morning to you too?" Nayeon's smile faded and Jeongyeon immediately felt bad.

"Good morning, sweetheart." She closed the door behind her and leaned in to press her lips against
her girlfriend's in a sweet kiss. Then she wrapped her in a hug and leaned against the closed door to
make herself more comfortable as their bodies were now pressed together. "I was only wondering
if there was any special reason for your visit."

"I'm free today and you said you had a test this morning, so I thought I'd walk you to your class and
wish you good luck in person." Nayeon laid her head on her shoulder.

"Mhm, okay." Jeongyeon closed her eyes and hugged her a little tighter.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" Nayeon slipped her hands on Jeongyeon's shoulders to move away a
little, but without detaching their bodies. She pouted and the goalkeeper left a peck on her pursed
lips.

"I'm always happy to see you." That's exactly the answer Nayeon was going for. The older girl
reached up to kiss her girlfriend properly this time.

"So, shall we?" Nayeon backed away and held out a hand which Jeongyeon reached out right away.

"Let's go."

"Sana's not coming?"

"She went to the gym earlier. I'll meet her in the classroom."

"Great, that's way better." Nayeon tugged Jeongyeon closer as she took the backpack off her to
throw it over her own shoulder. "Let me be a good girlfriend and take this for you."

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes but didn't protest, she knew it'd be a lose battle anyway. She just
intertwined their fingers and walked down the hall together. They started talking about the movie
they watched the night before and ended up talking about Jihyo's... partner?

"They're not dating, they're just hanging out." Nayeon said as if it's something that's been bothering
her, just when they were about to reach their final destination.

"Does it matter?" Jeongyeon quipped after taking a quick glance into the classroom. The room was
already busy but the professor hadn't arrived yet. Sana was already there though, holding their
usual seats.

"Of course it matters, I didn't like her." Nayeon shot back and peered into the room as well. She
spotted Sana and waved at her, receiving a warm smile in return.

Jeongyeon wanted to stay outside and enjoy the time she still had left with Nayeon, but her
girlfriend apparently had other plans. She took her by the hand and pulled her into the classroom,
walking them towards Sana with a big smile on her face.

There. That's the cue for Jeongyeon to know that something was off, but she was way too
distracted to notice.

"You never like anyone Jihyo dat-"

"They're not dating." Nayeon cut her off as she sat down next to Sana, pulling a confused
Jeongyeon into the seat right next to her.

"Who's not dating?" Sana asked.

"Jihyo and that girl."

"Jiwon." Jeongyeon corrected her but Nayeon just ignored.

"Like I said, I didn't like her."

"You always have something to say about the people that Jihyo dat- I mean, goes out with. It
doesn't matter if it's a guy or a girl, you always find something to pick on them." Jeongyeon
pointed out.

"Because they're always... I don't know, weird."

"You're weird too. We accept you anyways." Sana mumbled under her breath but Nayeon just
dismissed her as well.

"Oh- oh, I know what's going on..." Jeongyeon was about to tease Nayeon once again. She always
did that.

Every time Nayeon had something to say about their best friend's current partner, Jeongyeon would
joke and say that Nayeon had a lifetime crush on Jihyo and that's probably why she never
approved of anyone for her. It was funny, or well, at least it was hilarious to her. But Nayeon knew
what was coming, so she didn't give her the chance to continue.

"It's not my fault Jihyo didn't get as lucky as I did, alright? My standards are high, I just want her to
find someone as good as I did." Nayeon blurted out and it made Jeongyeon blushed, but she
couldn't help but smile. She brought Nayeon closer, left a kiss on her cheek and whispered
something in her ear so that only she could hear.

"Jesus fucking Christ, get a room, would ya?" Sana cringed and shoved Nayeon.

"If you insist, go for a walk later and we'll use yours." Nayeon nonchalantly shot back, not minding
her tone. "But my girlfriend has a test to crush now, so."

"You're putting too much faith on m-" Jeongyeon was talking between giggles but she didn't
manage to get the whole sentence out. She was silenced by her girlfriend's lips crashing into hers.
Nayeon cupped Jeongyeon's face with both hands and plunged into a deep, lingering kiss that
wiped away any trace of sleep the goalkeeper might still have had.

"That's for good luck, babe." Nayeon said after she broke the kiss, but kept one of her hands there,
caressing her cheek with her thumb.

"T-thanks." She replied, still a little dazed.

"Text me when you're done?" Nayeon stood up, handing the backpack to the real owner.

"S-sure. Will do." Jeongyeon reached out and thanked her girlfriend again.

After saying goodbye to Sana - and exchanging a couple insults in the process - Jeongyeon
watched her girlfriend leave the classroom with a silly smile on her face. As soon as Nayeon
disappeared into the doorway, however, she snapped back to reality. She heard some rustling in the
upper rows behind them and cast a quick glance that prompted the girls over there to shut up and
look away.

Jeongyeon slowly turned back to Sana with a puzzled look as she was finally starting to understand
what just happened.

"Did she just-"

"Yes, princess, you've been branded. Just like cattle."

"Oh." Sana smirked as she noticed Jeongyeon was still smiling like a lovesick idiot. The
goalkeeper sensed her friend's eyes on her and shook her head, trying to pull her best stern look.
"This is your fault! If you hadn't tried push all of that bullshit on her last night-"

"Wait, hold on, bullshit? Okay, I may have gone a little overboard to piss her off, but it's not my
fault if your head is too far up Nayeon's ass that you don't even notice when other people are all
over you."

"They're not-"

"Jeongyeon." The look on Sana's face told her everything she needed to know. Not that she cared
about it anyway.

"Whatever. I'm already in a very happy relationship, thank you very much." She crossed her arms,
blushing even harder as she sulked.

"Well, now everyone knows." Sana shrugged. "GG and yet another goal for our top stricker, Im
Nayeon."

Jeongyeon shook her head again, but that lovesick grin found its way back to her face.
That wasn't even a game anymore, Jeongyeon thought, Nayeon didn't need to make any more goals
when it came to her. The truth was that Nayeon had already won a long time ago, and Jeongyeon
wanted to make sure her girlfriend knew that too.

With that in mind, after some planning Jeongyeon asked Nayeon to meet her on their rooftop a
couple of days later. Yes, the rooftop was theirs at that point, since only they knew how to get in
and both had been hanging out up there for a few weeks since Mr. Shin let them in. They even
brought a couple of chairs and several other things to make the place more comfortable.

It was no longer just a place for studying, but also a date spot for when the couple wanted to spend
some time alone. Although they both did like their respective roommates, sometimes they
appreciated some kind of privacy. They'd lost count of how many nights they had spent there in the
past weeks. They made a habit of lying together under the stars as they shared lazy kisses and told
each other all about their days. It was perfect and the best part was that it was just theirs and theirs
alone.

Jeongyeon made sure to be there early, before nightfall. She skipped her last class to cook and
brought Nayeon's favorite dish, wrapped in foil paper to make sure it wouldn't get cold. She got
booze, but also brought a bottle of wine because Nayeon liked to have red wine over dinner before
she'd chug the beer which she always criticized Jeongyeon for buying. She also placed the beach
chairs as close as possible and lit up some candles around the place. The makeshift table where
they used to put their feet up was neatly clean and held the dinner for that night.

"This freaking door's getting heavier by the day." Nayeon came in complaining since she had
almost tripped and fallen as she tried to push the door open.

If it was any other day Jeongyeon would've laughed and cracked a joke at her girlfriend's expense,
but there was a black velvet box almost burned inside her pocket and it kept her from functioning
properly.

"Hey, babe." Jeongyeon smiled nervously. Put her hands inside the front pocket of her hoodie,
squeezing the box with an unnecessary force.

"Hi." Nayeon halted as soon as she absorbed the scene. Her eyes went from Jeongyeon to the
candles, the food on the table and then landed back to her girlfriend. At first she looked a little
confused, but soon her face lit up. "Did I miss any special date?"

"Nope." Jeongyeon knew she was only joking. Nayeon never forgot anything, especially about
them. "I just wanted to make something special for you. I even cooked."

Nayeon's smile grew wider and she took a few steps forward to throw her arms around her
girlfriend's neck. Jeongyeon feared Nayeon would feel the box inside of her pocket, so she
squirmed a little as she hugged her back. When Nayeon seemed to notice that something was off,
she quickly broke away and pulled the striker by her hand, guiding her to the chair and saying that
they should eat soon so that the food wouldn't get cold.

They had a pretty nice evening enjoying each other's company. Although it was similar to most
nights they spent there, for Nayeon it was way better than all of those dates at expensive
restaurants they had attended before. As a culinary enthusiast, Jeongyeon always insisted on
visiting different places and trying all kinds of fancy food so that she could try to replicate them at
home.

Nayeon was her most frequent volunteer to try whatever she cooked, and although she admitted to
be totally biased, she simply loved anything Jeongyeon made for her. It always made her feel
special and they were both counting the days for that first year to be over soon so they could finally
have a place of their own and make a habit of it again. Jeongyeon explained that one of their
seniors let her use their kitchen to make that meal and Nayeon just knew that the lack of free access
to a real kitchen was almost killing her girlfriend at that point.

"I'm glad you haven't lost your touch." Nayeon said after she finished. She had spared no
compliments throughout dinner, doing her best to let Jeongyeon know how much she appreciated
it.

"I'd never lose-" Jeongyeon gasped, feigning offense. "Even if I went years without cooking, I'd
never lose my touch! It's in my blood!"

"How can a cooking skill be in your blood? That's not how it works." Nayeon laughed at her
girlfriend's acting crafts.

"Apologize now. If you don't, you'll suffer the consequences of your foolishness."

"Consequences?" Nayeon challenged and cocked an eyebrow at her. "What consequences?"

"What-" Jeongyeon mimicked her tone. She stood up and slowly moved over to Nayeon's chair.
"You're walking on thin ice right now, Im. I'd be careful if I were you."

"Oh, I am?" Nayeon set the now empty wine glass on the floor and took Jeongyeon's hand, guiding
her until the younger girl was on her lap, straddling her. She leaned in so their faces were closer,
tilting her head as their lips were almost touching. But only almost. "If that's being on thin ice I'd
like to live here, please."

Jeongyeon giggled and cupped Nayeon's face with one hand while the other one rested behind her
neck. Nayeon slipped her hands around her girlfriend's waist, pulled her closer when she felt her
lips ghosting her own.

"Yeah?" Jeongyeon gently nibbled Nayeon's lower lip and the older girl instantly closed her eyes.

"Mmhmm." Nayeon answered and tried to close the distance between them but Jeongyeon had
already withdrawn. She opened her eyes feeling confused and found her girlfriend smirking. Before
she could get a word in, Jeongyeon launched a tickling attack on a helpless hot and bothered
Nayeon underneath her.

Goddamn wine and goddamn hot girlfriend!

"Those are the consequences!" Jeongyeon kept going amidst her own giggles.

"Jeong, no, please!" Nayeon unsuccessfully tried to defend herself. "You know that- aaah, hiccups,
I'll get hiccups!!!"

"You have to deal with the consequences, babe, you've been warned." Jeongyeon shot back but she
still took pity all the same. She slowed down to give her girlfriend a chance to fight back, which
she promptly did.

Nayeon hastily grabbed Jeongyeon's hoodie to try to pull her down into a hug. The movement was
so sudden that it made the little box hidden in Jeongyeon's pocket slip away and fall on the ground
making a noise that caught both their attention.

As soon as she realized Jeongyeon froze on the spot. It took a few seconds for her to finally get off
Nayeon's lap to retrieve the box from the floor, frowning deep in concern. She hurriedly opened it
to check if everything was okay. Fine, okay, the two items were still there. Alright. Jeongyeon was
about to slide the box back into her pocket when she saw her girlfriend standing next to the chair,
watching her every move.

"What's that?"

"A box." Pathetic, Jeongyeon. You know what to do, go ahead.

"That much I've figured out, but what's inside?" Nayeon tilted her head as if she was assessing the
situation, her eyes still trained on the box.

Even though she had rehearsed it over twenty times already, Jeongyeon felt like she could barely
speak. All right, it's all good. That's understandable. Such an important step would make anyone
feel nervous, so yeah, Jeognyeon kinda felt like she was at the edge of a cliff.

She nearly panicked, almost backed out, but only almost. What kept her sane was the certainty that
her girlfriend was the one and that if she were to jump Nayeon would always be her parachute.

"It's- it's promise ring." Jeongyeon shakily replied. She stepped closer and opened the box to reveal
its contents to the older girl. "Well- two, actually."

"You..." Nayeon reached out to touch it but stopped at the last second. Then she looked up at her
girlfriend again with wide glistening eyes. "For us?"

"Yes." Jeongyeon nodded and bit her lower lip to stop herself from giggling. No, it wasn't funny,
but she couldn't help it. She felt all the previous tension leave her body as she saw all those raw
feelings printed all over Nayeon's features. "That's why I wanted to do something special for us
today."

Jeongyeon knew her well enough to be sure Nayeon would like that gift, but she was worried about
perfectly reproducing the speech she had rehearsed over and over in her dorm. She also knew that a
simple "I love you" would be enough for Nayeon to understand the message, but still, Jeongyeon
wanted to say more because Nayeon did deserve more.

"For real?" Jeongyeon couldn't hold back her giggle this time. Her own eyes were already teary as
she slid the ring on Nayeon's finger.

"Of course." Jeongyeon brought her hand to her mouth and kissed the newly placed piece. Nayeon
couldn't speak or do anything but watch her in awe. "I'm giving you this so everyone knows we're
together for real. Now you don't have to kiss me in front of all my crowded classes anymore."

Jeongyeon teased and Nayeon played along. "I'd like to kiss you in front of everyone anyway."

"I know." They chuckled before Jeongyeon held out her hand for Nayeon. "My turn."

Nayeon also kissed the ring after it was placed, but she didn't let go of her girlfriend's hand.
Instead, she pulled her closer, rested her forehead against hers and closed her eyes, struggling to put
into words what she was feeling.

"Jeongyeon, I-"

"No, let me do the talking." She pulled away so they could look into each other's eyes.

Even with a whole speech set up, Jeongyeon suddenly realized that she didn't need any memorized
fancy words for that. She put the discourse aside and just poured out her heart for the girl she
loved.

"All jokes aside, we've kind of been together for almost half my life now. Even before we were
actually dating I could confidently say that the time we've been spending together are the best
years of my life. You make me feel... fuck, you make me feel everything, if that makes sense. It's
something I'm sure I won't feel with anyone else because you... you're it for me, you know?" She
paused to take a breath, feeling overwhelmed as she realized how utterly true those words were.
"So even though we're still too young to talk about marriage and all that other stuff," She cringed at
that word. "I want you to know that I'm serious about us and that I do wanna spend the rest of my
life with you." The tears that were building up in both of their eyes started to come down right
there. "I love you so much, Nayeon, I really, really do. And I know I've put that into doubt in the
past-"

"You d-" Nayeon tried to interject.

"No, I need to do this. I need you to know that you're my person and that I'm also completely yours
as well. You don't have to worry about anything or anyone else, I promise."

"Jeongyeon-" Nayeon cupped her face trying to get some word out.

"And like I always say, you're my number one but you're also the one for me. There, that's it."
Everything came out so naturally that Jeongyeon wondered why she had been so nervous before.
And that last sentence made her remember another thing. "Oh, I almost forgot. I asked them to
engrave something inside yours, wanna see it? It's-"

Nayeon didn't let her finish. She drew her closer by the collar of her hoodie and kissed her
girlfriend like her entire life depended on it. Jeongyeon kissed back just as eagerly because she
knew she'd have all the time in the world to show it to her later. The only thing she couldn't wait
for was to have her body as close as humanly possible to Nayeon's.

Back in the reality of her own bedroom, Jeongyeon felt her face heat up as she went back to that
memory. The blush in her cheeks only grew worse when she remembered how that night ended.
Memories of everything they shouldn't have done on the rooftop of an institutional building flashed
through her mind as she watched her now ex-girlfriend finish bandaging her shin.

As if the last year hadn't happened, Jeongyeon trailed her right hand to her ring finger, looking for
something that wasn't there anymore. She had the habit of playing with the ring whenever she was
thinking about Nayeon - a habit she had lost a long time ago.

However, with Nayeon right there and touching her so carefully, it was a knee-jerk reaction to
search for the promises they'd made through a ring. Jeongyeon couldn't put into words how empty
she felt when she found her finger bare.

Of course it's not there, you idiot, it's in the depths of a box hidden in the last drawer right behind
Nayeon, she reminded herself.

And it's wrecked.

"You're all set. Should we join the others?" Jeongyeon didn't even notice Nayeon was done.

The intern got up quickly and waited for her by the door while Jeongyeon was still struggling to
get out of her daze. Nayeon looked restless, as if she just wanted to get out of there already.

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Let's go." Jeongyeon collected the trash bag where Nayeon discarded all the
supplies she used and walked toward the door even though she didn't want to leave the room. She
 had one hand on the doorknob when she stopped to look at Nayeon. Her eyes bored into her ex-
girlfriend who was cowering over there, only a few inches away. "Thank you, Nayeon."

They were standing very close once again. Way closer than the safe and suitable distance. The
proximity was making Jeongyeon's head spin, but she also felt strangely at peace with it.

She caught the way Nayeon's gaze tentatively dropped to her lips and a sudden wave of panic
overcame her. Jeongyeon mentally cursed herself for how her body responded when her stomach
tightened in anticipation. She knew where this was going even if it was just one single look. A
fucking glance and she already felt like she was on fire.

It's that stupid memory that got her like that, she tried to believe as she scolded herself and tried to
gather the strength to open that damn door.

"You- you don't have to thank me." Her voice rang low, hoarse and so fucking hot that Jeongyeon
actually gulped.

Fortunately - or unfortunately, depending on one's point of view - a burst of screaming cheers

snapped them out of whatever the fuck that was. They shared a puzzled look and Jeongyeon finally
opened the door, letting Nayeon out of the room first before trailing right behind her.

When they reached the living room at the end of the hallway Jeongyeon could hardly believe the
scene in front of her: Sana and Mina were kissing.

Kissing? Hell, that was a full make out session. Jeongyeon would've been rated as a 19+ if it was
some kind of drama.

Both were standing in front of the TV, their hands traveling everywhere while the video game
controllers were long forgotten on the coffee table and the rest of the girls were shrieking and wolf-
whistling all around.

Jeongyeon cast Nayeon a side look seeing that she was also gawking at the whole thing,
dumbfounded. She bumped her shoulder into hers to catch her attention and shrugged when the
older girl looked at her.

"And there you were, thinking we were dating..." She quipped teasingly at her ex-girlfriend while
their friends were still kissing at full blast like they were the two only people there.

So much for just a kiss and that's it…

Chapter End Notes

the name of the next chapter is please never change

it's actually a fun chapter until it isn't anymore because it also involves some drama
between nayeon and sana. there will also be some insight regarding their problems
with the volleyball team so yeah, until next time.
 please never change
Chapter Summary

"You had one job, dude. One fucking job!" Nayeon snapped and Sana also got worked
up.

"I told you as soon as I noticed!"

"Then you should've been more careful!"

"And you should quit whining. You said it yourself that you were willing to take the
risk, so I don't get why you're bitching about it now."

"First off, I said I wouldn't mind taking the risk for the team, not because of your
imbecility. Secondly, Jeongyeon was there as well! You wanted to jeopardize me so
badly that you put your own friend at risk!"

"You think I did it on purpose?" Sana sprang to her feet, suddenly vexed.

"I don't know, didn't you?" Nayeon also stood up, tilting her head and crossing her
arms in challenge.

Chapter Notes

brace yourselves, its going to be a long ride

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The party was what Jeongyeon would gladly call a success.

After that night, she started to realize that Nayeon was slowly letting down some of the walls she
built. The following days were much more pleasant and… amicable between the two of them, even
though Jeongyeon chose to pretend that the last moment in her bedroom never happened.

She tried to ignore the way Nayeon was yet again back at it, looking at her with that fucking look
whenever she thought no one was watching. She also found her own mind struggling not to
acknowledge the fact that she caught herself wishing she had known what might have happened if
they hadn't been interrupted that night.

Fuck, who was she trying to fool? That's the only thing she could think of for days.

She almost got upset at both Sana and Mina for getting in the way of whatever was going to
happen next, but she knew that would be unreasonable. It was for the best, she tried to tell herself,
you should be thanking them instead.

By the way, speaking of the devil... or in this case, Sana and Mina, the two of them acted as if
nothing had happened between them the very next day. After all, Sana had a rule about not getting
involved with her roommates and the last time Mina got into bed with hers- well, things didn't end
very well.

At first the goalkeeper found it strange. Well, actually, that's pretty normal for Sana. Jeongyeon
had seen Sana hook up with other people including teammates and then act like it wasn't a big deal
afterwards.

And Mina... ah, Jeongyeon obviously remembered that Mina had acted quite similarly when it
happened between them. And they even went as far as sleeping together. If that didn't get in the
way of their friendship, why should a few kisses get in the way of Mina and Sana's? No, compared
to that, that's a cinch.

Then after some thinking Jeongyeon came to the conclusion that it wasn't that big of a deal. The
truth was that she was just trying to busy herself by thinking too much about things that were none
of her business to keep herself from dealing with her own shit.

But still, despite acknowledging that, she still tried to talk to Mina about it:

"I lost the game and kept my end of the deal, that's all. We're good." Mina argued in the middle of
a class they took together. She didn't elaborate any further so Jeongyeon also didn't push.

But then she talked to Sana as they were finishing some practice drills together:

"I said no questions asked. Did she ask you to talk to me about it?"

"No, of course not!" Jeongyeon rushed to clarify. "I just thought it was weird, I guess? I mean,
she's your flatmate, Sana, don't you have a rule about it?"

"Are you jealous, princess?" Sana quipped as she wrapped her arms around the goalkeeper. "Of me
or her? Please, enlighten me."

Jeongyeon just huffed and dropped the matter. If neither of them were worried, she shouldn't be
either. Topic closed.

Although they started the week by having some pretty pleasant days, the volleyball team was still
working hard to wear their patient thin.

After the class locking incident with Dahyun and Yerim, they kept focusing on individual attacks:
they put a horn under Yves's usual seat during a class with one of the college's strictest professors
and almost got her suspend; they managed to trick Yeji and Ryujin into buying love apples that
were actually stuffed onions (yeah, that one was on them); and they also put some paint on the
wiper blades of Jihyo's car so when she needed to use them, instead of cleaning her windows it
made them even dirtier. All of these among other annoying little pranks. It was insufferable.

The worst of all - in Jeongyeon's opinion, at least - was when she and her friends arrived at the
cafeteria for their regular lunch date on an apparently uneventful day, but found their table
interdicted as well as the whole area around it.

According to one of the cafeteria employees, they found the table littered with rotten fish and other
kinds of foods that are known for their bad smells such as onions, curry, garlic and other things
like that. So even after washing and cleaning, the stink would take a few days to wash off,
therefore the interdiction.

Jeongyeon was starting to lose her temper when Nayeon finally stepped up by the end of the week.
Out of the nine of them who used to hang out there most often, only Sana and Mina weren't there
yet.

"I know what we're gonna do." She announced as she sat down in her regular spot next to Jihyo
and across from Jeongyeon, on the very first day after their table was cleared.

"About what?" Momo idly asked, not really paying attention. She was only half awake as she was
resting her head on Dahyun's shoulder, her girlfriend gently stroking her hair.

"Halloween, Momo. Our costumes." Nayeon deadpanned.

"But we're still in the first half of the year?" The almost unconscious girl's innocence elicited some
good laughter out of them.

"I'm talking about the goddamned volleyball team." Nayeon whispered-screamed.

"Cut to the fucking chase. What's the plan?" Jihyo interjected, just as impatiently. She was way too
pissed with all of those silly little pranks as well. The fact that she had to pay for a car wash didn't
help either.

"Wait, I need Silver Spoon here too." Nayeon looked around the cafeteria as if she was looking for
someone.

"Silver Spoon?" Jeongyeon asked, confused.

"There, great. She's coming. Sana too, ew."

Nayeon nodded towards Sana and Mina who were slowly approaching their table.

"So Mina is supposed to be Silver Spoon?" Jihyo asked in an amused tone.

"Relax, it's not an offense."

"It sounds like a tease." Momo pointed out. She sat up straight, looking more awake.

"It's what I always say, if a friendship is weakened by a couple of punches or an innocent smooch
session, it's because it was never a real friendship to begin with." They all heard Sana blaring out
loud as if she was trying to prove a point once they got close enough. Mina just laughed it off while
mixed reactions bloomed across the table, all in between giggles and befuddled faces.

"Do we even wanna know?" Jeongyeon asked Mina, who appeared to be awfully amused.

"Trust me, you don't." She replied goodnaturedly.

"Great! Let's get right down to business then. How nice of you to join us on this lovely afternoon,
Daddy's Little Girl, I've been expecting you." Nayeon called out looking straight at her and Mina
frowned, she wasn't sure if the older girl was actually talking to her. "Yeah, I'm talking to you.
We're gonna need your help."

"Daddy's Little Girl?" Mina dazedly asked, sitting down next to Jeongyeon.

"Yeah. Because of the story you made up for Jennie and whatnot." Nayeon answered, rolling her
eyes and looking really annoyed that she had to explain what she thought was a good joke. "It can
be Silver Spoon if you like it better, but the rest of the girls didn't seem to enjoy it as much as I
did."

"Why, that's rich coming from you. No pun intended." Jeongyeon just had to jump in. Her tone was
soft, almost amused. She cocked a challenging eyebrow at Nayeon, who crossed her arms and
tilted her head as she glared back at her.

Nayeon's dad was a big gun lawyer and although Jeongyeon didn't know exactly what her mother
did for a living, the former striker had already shared with Jeongyeon and Jihyo that the older
woman had tried to send her a substantial monthly pension since she reappeared. Not that Nayeon
cared, she had always refused that money. She had even vented to them, time and time again being
upset over the fact that her mother was trying to buy her way back into her life.

Not that any of this really matters now, the point was that everyone in their hometown knew that
Nayeon's family was loaded. So to put that label on Mina as a way to taunt her was kind of
hypocritical, to say the least.

"What do you mean?" Dahyun asked.

"Nayeon is also a trust fund kid herself, she just doesn't like to acknowledge it." Jihyo added and
Nayeon rolled her eyes once again, breaking the silent quarrel she had going on with Jeongyeon.
"She has had one of those unlimited black cards since she was in diapers."

"Cat fight but make it rich. Wonderful, let's make it a reality show out of it." Sana cheered in the
most tauntingly teasing tone. "Mina has a mean right hook, my money is on her."

"There's no fight whatsoever, dumbass. I'm complimenting her, as a matter of fact." Nayeon
dismissed Sana's attempted joke and Mina, who up until then was feeling a bit cowed, looked at
Nayeon again with both attentiveness and doubt. "Her last name got us out of a huge mess, so I'm
starting to appreciate her more now."

"A mess you caused, Nayeon. I think it's important that we keep that in mind." Jihyo mused.

"Anyway," Nayeon cut it off and rolled her eyes for what felt like the nth time before turning her
gaze back to Mina. "You shouldn't take it as an offense, I only ever tease the ones I like."

Mina's eyes went wide as the words took her by surprise. Everyone around the table looked a little
amazed, actually, but the younger girl didn't get a chance to respond. Sana wasted no time in
resuming her full time job: annoying the shit out of Nayeon.

"Oh, so now you like Mina? Just like that?" She propped her elbows on the table and rested her
face in her hands, looking at the older girl as she's waiting for an explanation.

"She literally punched one of the people I hate the most. What's there not to like?" Nayeon replied
as if it's supposed to be obvious.

"Mina, darling, did you make a deal with the devil without letting me know first? Because I highly
doubt a slap would make the devil in question forget that you've been with the girl sh-" Sana
pressed, but Mina cut her off.

"What do you need me to do, anyway?" She immediately stepped in and Nayeon just stared at Sana
with what was apparently the purest form of hatred. It took a few seconds before the older seemed
to decide to spare her life.

"How well connected are you within the college administration?"

"Eh..." Mina didn't even know what Nayeon meant by that, but she was already starting to rethink
her decision to help. "What- what do you mean?"
"Here's the thing, my plan involves two phases." She finally shared. "First, we need to schedule an
appointment for an indoor soccer match in the volleyball team's gymnasium. I've already tried
myself, but they are very strict about who they give permission to use the court. Especially when it
comes to someone from the soccer team, since they know about our background. So I thought that
maybe Mina could go over there, act nonchalant, use that beautiful family name of hers and get us
some time there. You think you can do it?"

"I mean, I can try, but I can't make any promises." Mina sounded hesitant, but she wanted to help
anyway.

"Oh, come on, what's the point? I hate indoor soccer. You know I fall a lot and the court's ground
hurts my knees." Momo whined, pouting and crossing her arms.

"You're gonna take this one for the team just this once."

"We can play on our field whenever we want. Why would we even want to play in their gym?"

"To piss off Jennie and her minions, of course."

"If we do anything bad over there the administration will know it's us anyways, even if the
appointment is under Mina's name. We'll end up getting her in trouble with us as well." Sana
pointed out.

"But that's the thing, we won't do anything bad there. We'll just play." Nayeon shrugged, but the
vicious smirk on her face was definitely not matching her words.

"I get it. You want them to see us there and get annoyed over the fact that we were able to get
access to their home, don't you?" Jihyo supposed and Nayeon silently nodded. "Okay, I guess it'll
piss them off, but it'll still be pretty lame compared to all the shit they've been pulling on us these
days."

"You think that's all? I thought you'd have more faith in me, Cap." Nayeon feigned offense and
Jihyo clicked her tongue in disapproval, revealing her impatience.

"Nayeon..." Jeongyeon chose to intervene. Not only to save Nayeon's ass, but also to back Jihyo up
because she was also too curious to put up with all that stalling.

"That's when phase two kicks in." Nayeon promptly replied as she turned her attention back to
Jeongyeon. "First, I need them to know that we had access to their gym. The court, the locker
room, everything. They'll see us there and get mad. Great. Then as we leave, we're going to tease
them like it's the last day of our lives. Do your best, spare no snide remarks at all, make every
comment you possibly can to get them furious. And especially, we'll be implying that we left some
surprises for them over there. I want them to be so worried about whatever might happen next that
they'll barely be able to practice after we leave."

"It... it can actually work." Jeongyeon conceded as she took it all in.

"They'll be worried about something we might have done, without us actually having to do
anything? That's brilliant." Tzuyu mused.

"Real life psychological horror? Neat!" Chaeyoung happily cheered, looking way more excited
than she should.

"It's a pretty good idea as a matter of fact." Sana begrudgingly admitted as well.
"And then we'll actually move on to phase two." Nayeon uttered, catching everyone's attention yet
again.

"I thought the paranoia was phase two." Mina reasoned.

"Of course not. I don't want them to just be afraid of what might happen, I also want them to
physically suffer the consequences of their actions." Nayeon replied, not bothering to hide her
resentment.

"I'm afraid that maybe Nayeon is going to ask for Mina's car so she can run them over when they
leave... but if that's the case, I won't be able to say no. I'm willing to borrow Jihyo's and ride right
behind her."

"No, we're not there yet. But yeah, we're going to need both of their cars." Nayeon replied and Sana
looked thoroughly disappointed. "I'm going to get into their dorm and leave some traps for them
over there. Real surprises, so they won't dare say that we make empty promises."

"Wait, how are you going to get into their nest?" Chaeyoung made a good point. Nayeon's wicked
smile grew wider as she pulled out a single key from her backpack. It had a miniature volleyball
dangling from the keychain.

"You stole it?" Dahyun gasped as her eyes widened and Momo covered her mouth, shushing her
right away. "Sorry." She mumbled between her girlfriends fingers as Nayeon glared at her.

"I didn't steal it, I just saw it falling out of Jisoo's bag and didn't mind giving it back." She
shrugged. "It's not like she was ever nice to us."

"Evil, but genius." Jihyo pondered aloud while the rest of the gang appreciated the plan.

"That's my brand." Nayeon winked.

The volleyball team resided in one of the college's houses around the campus, just like most of the
soccer team. Both residences were on opposite sides of the campus and since the volleyball team
was smaller, the two-story house accommodated almost the entire team, with fewer exceptions.
Jeongyeon had only been there once before and she still regretted it.

"That's dangerous, actually." Jeongyeon's voice stood out over the overly excited comments around
the table.

"Sort of, but I have a contingency plan."

"What would that be?"

"I'll go over there right after we leave the gym, when they'll be busy at their own practice. So I just
need someone to stay behind in the parking lot and let me know if anyone leaves. The house is at
least a ten minutes ride away, I'll have plenty of time to get the hell out of there if anything goes
wrong."

"Yeah, but if you get caught you could be expelled. Not only from the team, but from Yonsei
altogether. That's trespassing."

"I'm not going to get caught."

"You don't know that. It's too dangerous and-"

"And I'm aware. It's my plan, that's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Nayeon-"

"Jeongyeon." Jihyo interrupted the little argument between the former couple. "You know better
than anyone that if I thought she was going to get caught I'd be the first against it, but the plan is
really good. We'll have time and Nayeon knows what she's doing. Relax, it'll work out."

Jihyo tried to smooth things over, but Jeongyeon still put up some resistance. More minutes of
discussion and chatting through the group chat with the rest of the team led to the obvious
decision: they'd do it. Jeongyeon was the only one against it, but she relented for being the losing
vote since even Mina backed Nayeon up. Great! Thanks, Mina.

Furthermore, Mina had no trouble with her part of the plan. Just like Nayeon said, both her family
name and her lack of direct connection to the soccer team helped her book a two-hour appointment
for free use of the court right before the volleyball team's practice, which usually happened late
afternoon, after classes.

As the person "in charge" of the court at that time, Mina was bound to be there for the whole time.
What she didn't expect was that the rest of the team would compel her to participate in the games
as well. Despite this, she did quite well considering the unsportsmanlike personality she displayed.
She managed to pull off a few right passes and Jeongyeon even let Mina score a couple of times to
cheer her up. The time spent in the gym was way more fun than they expected. Even Nayeon dared
to show off some of her well-known skills, even if only briefly.

The four teams in which they were split took turns facing each other until Jeongyeon's team finally
went up against Nayeon's. The goalkeeper watched her ex-girlfriend tying her hair up as she joined
the opposite team along with Sana, Joy, Ryujin and Yuna. And no, she definitely did not think
about how hot she looked nor the memories that were brought back upon seeing that.

But Jeongyeon would be lying if she said she didn't miss it. The contentment she felt was off the
charts and she knew she should be alarmed, but she wasn't. Even though they were on opposite
sides, it was impracticable not to admit how happy watching Nayeon playing actually made her.
The smile that didn't leave the former striker's face made Jeongyeon feel as if the pieces of her
heart that she had painstakingly managed to put back together were slowly slipping away and
returning to the hands of the girl who had always owned it.

Shit.

Just as she was starting to feel overwhelmed, a fast ball floating towards her and the screams of her
teammates sparked the goalkeeper's attention back to the match. But it was already too late, there
wasn't enough time for a reaction.

That's a goal for Nayeon. Her team was losing.

"Holy shit, Jeongyeon, are you fucking kidding me?" Jihyo scolded, yelling at her from afar.

"So you're just watching the game from inside the court? Should I get you a chair?"

"You'd better sit down if you're going to just stand there."

She blushed profusely, but at least that time she could blame it on the match. Jeongyeon couldn't
even identify who were the complaining voices alongside Jihyo's, she just apologized and told
them it wouldn't happen again before trying to focus on the game instead of- well.
It did happen again. Twice. But at least it was to Nayeon's credit, she did have an impeccable aim.
So the goalkeeper's teammates were more understanding, mostly because they didn't lose the
match.

Nevertheless, Jeongyeon noticed that Nayeon didn't seem to be trying very hard. Even though the
court was much smaller than the field, the older girl barely ran. She played as pivot and only went
as far as the middle of the court when she needed to help the defense. It was almost as if she didn't
want to win, to be honest. But knowing Nayeon's competitive side, Jeongyeon supposed that it was
just Nayeon's injury slowing her down. She finally understood what her ex-girlfriend meant when
she said she was no longer able to give her best, and it pained Jeongyeon in a way she couldn't
even begin to explain.

But fortunately for her team, Dahyun and Momo managed to score two goals each and secured
their victory so that Jeongyeon wouldn't have to listen to Sana's taunts anytime soon.

"What the fuck is going on in here?" Jennie's voice rang all around the gymnasium.

Great, it's showtime.

"Time's up, girls. Let's go." Jihyo called out and the soccer team proceeded to collect their
belongings, ignoring the mutterings and complaints of the other volleyball players who popped up
right behind their captain.

"Gee, who let the dogs out in our gym?" Sana teased as she walked past the newcomers, bouncing
a soccer ball in her hands.

"Your gym??"

"Did I stuttered?"

"Great, now we have to bug spray this whole place." Somi shot back with a deadly glare while
more whispers were going back and forth.

They were heading toward the exit when Jennie stopped right in front of Jihyo. Nayeon and
Jeongyeon also halted, one on either side of their captain.

"What the fuck are you guys doing on our court? I'm going to te-"

"We have permission to use it." Jihyo replied as rehearsed. "My girl Myoui Mina has, actually. She
booked us a couple of hours here. I'm sure you remember her, don't you?" Jihyo nodded towards
Mina who was standing by the exit with her arms crossed and an unbothered look on her face. Sana
and Momo were right next to her. "Now, if you'll excuse us."

Jihyo tried to sidestep but Jennie also moved, standing in front of her again and tilting her head to
take a better look at her. The defender stared right back, kept her head held high.

"What's the point of this whole circus? You already have that filthy field of ours, what did you
come here for? We'll report you if you did someth-"

"What'd we even want to do in this piggery?" Jihyo scoffed. "We just came to have some fun. Do
you know the meaning of that word? F-u-n?" She completed, smiling wryly.

"Here, of all places??" Jennie snapped. Nayeon's plan was working, she was getting worked up.
"Why?"
"That's for us to know and for you to find out." Nayeon replied. "Let's go, Ji, our work here is
done."

As told by Nayeon, the rest of the team muttered teasing remarks and defiances whispers just to rile
them up even more. Then Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Jihyo tried to go around Jennie one more time,
but the other captain reached for Nayeon's arm that time. Jeongyeon and Jihyo stopped again while
the other girls on both sides remained quiet. The mood changed altogether, becoming way more
tense than they could have anticipated.

"What do you mean by that?" Her tone was low-key impatient. Nayeon's vague answer only made
it even worse.

"Why don't you try to find out?"

"Listen," Jennie yanked Nayeon closer, their faces were only inches apart. "You don't want to play
around with me like that."

"We're already playing, aren't we? And it's been a while, you should've caught up already." She
shot right back and they all could see Jennie's mouth open and close a few times.

"Let go of her, Jennie." Jeongyeon warned, stepping closer.

She knew this was probably just another cue for the other captain to make all sorts of jokes, but the
way the skin on Nayeon's arm was red around Jennie's grip was bothering her far more than she
could handle.

"Oh, so now you're being brave?" Jennie mused after glaring at Jeongyeon from head to toe.

"Would you like to find out?" Jeongyeon answered, gritting her teeth. Her hands closed into fists so
tightly she felt her fingernails bruising her palms like claws.

She felt all the anger she had been pent-up for the past year. Jeongyeon was seeing red and her
only focus was Jennie and the way her lousy smile fell off her lips when her taunt didn't have the
effect she expected.

Nayeon yanked back her arm to get out of Jennie's hold. Cleared her throat to reclaim the group's
attention, which was previously focused on the ongoing tension between Jennie and Jeongyeon.

"I'm afraid it's well past our time, so we're leaving now." Nayeon headed for the exit after placing
each hand on Jeongyeon and Jihyo's back, guiding them away from the ruckus. They looked like
they're about to jump on the other girl's throat, so Nayeon knew it was about time to get them out
of there. So she left after one last quick glance over her shoulder. "Hope you have a good practice,
by the way."

"Oh but I'd be careful if I were you, you know? You never know what kind surprises one might
find in their own home." That's the first and only thing Mina said after the volleyball team arrived.
She took a tentative glance around the gymnasium and left with the rest of the soccer team.

"That was amazing!"

"Shhh, be quiet."

"They won't listen, we're far enough."

"Okay, now you two stay here and make sure they don't leave without letting me know." The
mission to set camp in the parking lot had fallen upon Sana and Mina, who would use the latter's
car as shelter while Nayeon would use Jihyo's to get to the dorm. "If any of them leave the gym I
need you to let me know on the spot, do you hear me? Right away!"

"We know, you've said it like ten times already." Sana rolled her eyes and looped her arm over
Mina's shoulders to guide her to the car parked on the other side of the parking lot.

"Good luck." Mina said over her shoulder as they walked away. After a few minutes of chatting
and early celebration, the rest of the team started to make their way to the Beach House, where
Nayeon would meet them afterwards.

"I'll see you later." Nayeon bid her goodbye when only she and Jeongyeon were left. The younger
one was leaning against the driver's door of Jihyo's car, blocking her passage.

"I'm going with you." She held out her hand so Nayeon could hand over the keys. "And I'm
driving."

"You didn't even want me to go in the first place and now you're tagging along?" Nayeon crossed
her arms.

"Because it's dangerous! If we get caught-"

"Exactly. That's why I'm the one who's gonna go. Alone. You guys have done enough and I'm
willing to take the risk, like I said."

"But you speed when you drive, you'll probably get a ticket or-"

"I don't speed!" She protested but the goalkeeper paid no mind.

"-if you get as much as little scratch on Jihyo's car she will surely murder you in your sleep and ask
my help to hide your body."

"First off, I literally taught you how to drive! I'm a way better driver than you'll ever be, thank you
very much." Nayeon hissed, almost offended. "And second- ah, you know what? Nevermind!!
You're just trying to slow me down. Move."

"You've never been inside that house, Nayeon. You need someone who knows the place."

"And who would that be? You??" Nayeon mockingly replied, raising her eyebrows in surprise
when Jeongyeon just crossed her arms, feeling uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Are you serious?
You've been to that cave?"

Nayeon's expression changed. Became harder. She looked upset, as if Jeongyeon had just told that
she kicked her puppy.

"Can we just go already? The clock is ticking." Nayeon stared at her for a few seconds before
handing over the keys and hopping in the passenger seat. Jeongyeon sent a text to let Jihyo know
what she was doing and then got in the car as well.

She needed to make sure Nayeon wouldn't get in trouble or take any unnecessary risks.

For the sake of the team, of course.

They spent the ten minute ride in silence, didn't even turn on the radio. Jeongyeon knew Nayeon
was thinking too hard because she had that frown on her face, the one she always had whenever she
had too much in her mind. But there was nothing Jeongyeon could do about it. She also was
worried, there was no denying it. Maybe the motive was the same.

Jeongyeon didn't plan on tagging along with Nayeon, but something took over her the second the
two of them were alone. Deep down she knew that her ex-girlfriend's plan was a good one and that
the chances of something going wrong were minimal. After all, between actually training and
looking for the non-existent surprises that the soccer team hadn't left behind, the residents of that
house would be busy for at least a couple of hours. Besides, Sana and Mina were there to warn her
if any of them were to leave.

Still, she couldn't let Nayeon go alone. She knew very well how stubborn her ex-girlfriend could
be, so Jeongyeon needed to escort her for two very valid reasons: first, not to let Nayeon do
anything too extreme, after all, with the level of hatred she felt for Jennie, the chances of her losing
her cool were pretty high; and second, to make sure Nayeon would get out of there at the slightest
prospect that something might not go their way.

Jeongyeon parked a safe distance away and the duo stealthily made their way to the residence. On
the porch, Nayeon took the lost key from her pocket and opened the door while Jeongyeon looked
around to make sure no one was watching. Seconds later the two of them were standing inside the
large living room that brought back a pretty unpleasant memory for Jeongyeon.

"Ew, it feels like I just walked into the gates of hell." Nayeon feigned - or at least Jeongyeon
thought she feigned - a shiver as she looked around with a grimace. "Let's get it done already
before this place starts to contaminate me."

"Right, let's go." Jeongyeon shook her head to shake away the memory.

The plan was quite simple. They would get some supplies from the house itself but everything else
they needed was inside the backpack Nayeon had just taken off her shoulder.

"I'll start in the kitchen. You go get the stuff from the bathrooms since you already know where
they are." Nayeon prompted after dropping the backpack on the couch.

"Are you sure you want-"

"Jeong, the door is open." Nayeon frowned and corrected herself. "Well, it's not open, but it isn't
locked. You can leave if you want, I won't judge you. But we've already talked about it and I'll do
it with or without your help." She didn't wait for Jeongyeon's response before she started to
unpack.

"Fine. I'll go upstairs first." Jeongyeon sighed in defeat. She left the room without looking back, so
she didn't see the way Nayeon stopped what she was doing just to watch her walk up the stairs with
a smile on her face.

The goalkeeper was back a few minutes later with all the toothpaste she could find. Nayeon had
already peeled the sandwich cookies and was ready to change its filling with it. The paste-like
material - with colored dye paint added on it, of course - that would replace the toothpaste was also
ready and waiting, so Jeongyeon put it inside the empty tubes as soon as Nayeon was finished with
the cookies.

But it didn't end there, the list of things to do was still long:

They switched the liquid soaps to cooking oils; placed small noise and stink bombs under some of
the shoes and other clothing items that were tossed around the house so that they would explode as
soon as someone touched them; they also left realistic toy bugs on top of some dressers, shelves,
under the couches and basically anywhere that could make casualties; as well as several other
harmless but irksome and scary pranks. Also, to keep the tradition alive, they placed plastic cups
filled with paint in strategic places so that it'd fall off as soon as the doors and cabinets were
opened.

Apart from everything else, Jeongyeon made sure they respected the privacy of the bedrooms
because unlike Jennie they did have some sense of boundaries. Nevertheless, Nayeon couldn't help
but leave a little special surprise for the captain.

It wasn't planned, but Nayeon had just finished her work in the last bathroom on the second floor
when she walked by a wall full of photographs. It was like a hall of fame for the team's captains,
Nayeon noticed because she recognized the photo of the former captain up there as well. Each
perfectly framed picture featured a phrase to define the captain's term in command. Great leader,
was written on one of them. The first player from Yonsei to be called up for the national team,
another one read. Great player and even better friend. Youngest captain in the history of the
university. Highest point scorer in the team's history. Stuff like that.

Jennie's, however, the last photo pinned on the wall, had only the words "Queen B'' embedded into
the frame. How cringey, she thought. Nayeon just had to roll her eyes at that. Of course that's all
she would get, no one would have anything nice to say about that bitch.

Oh. Oh. That's a good idea. It's like a light went off in her head.

She took the permanent marker out of her pocket - which she had used to write some not very nice
messages on the bathroom doors - and wrote a "itch" right in front of the words. She also took
Jennie's picture out of the frame to make little horns and whiskers before putting it back in place.
There, better now. Her work there was done.

"Where were you??" Jeongyeon worriedly hissed as soon as Nayeon reached the last step.

The goalkeeper had been a nervous wreck the whole time. Nayeon lost count of how many times
she had told the other girl to go back to the Beach House or to at least wait in the car, but
Jeongyeon stopped each one of her attempts to make her leave.

"Chill out, I was just finishing up upstairs." Nayeon looked unbothered.

"Chill- chill out??? We're trespassing, Nayeon! I can't fucking chill out." Jeongyeon exasperatedly
moved her hands in the air.

"This house is college property and we're college students. Therefore, technically, we have the
right to be here as well." Nayeon quipped as she walked back to the kitchen. Jeongyeon picked up
the backpack from the couch and followed her.

"Can we just leave now?" Jeongyeon practically begged, sounding like a whining child.

"In a minute, I just have to-"

At that very same moment they heard the living room door being opened. It all happened too fast.

"Wait, it wasn't even locked. Did you forget to lock it again, airhead??"

"No, I did. I mean, I think I did at least."

"Yeah, sure."
The two of them looked at each other in panic as the muffled voices faintly burst out a room away.
Jeongyeon reacted faster: she took Nayeon by the hand and pulled her toward the small pantry
adjacent to the kitchen. Closed the door afterwards, as carefully as possible so as not to make any
noise.

"What the fuck???"

"I don't know!!!"

They mouthered, communicating without letting out any sound.

The expression on Nayeon's face was enough to let her ex-girlfriend know that she didn't know
how that could've been happening. The plan was pretty solid, why the hell had it gone so wrong?

First, the practice session certainly shouldn't be over yet. They had been there for less than an hour,
the volleyball team's practice usually lasted much longer than that. Second, Sana should've warned
them!!! She had stayed back at the gym for a reason and that's the fucking reason! How the fuck
did she miss it?

Jeongyeon, on the other hand, already knew that it'd backfire. Of course it would, her instinct had
warned her already. That's why she was there with Nayeon. She tried to warn her so many times,
for God's sake, why didn't people just listen to her??? Why couldn't Nayeon, of all people, just take
her advice for a change? Fuck, whatever, there was no point in dwelling on that now. They were
already screwed enough.

"We're so fucked." Jeongyeon outspoken her thoughts, whispering to keep her tone low.

"I don't think they're all here. I only heard two different voices and neither is from the Queen
Bitch." Nayeon's ear was glued to the door

"Queen Bitch?" Jeongyeon made a face and Nayeon just shrugged.

"Why the hell didn't Sana-" Her rant was cut short by the sound of her own phone going off.
"Fuck!" Nayeon rushed to silence the device.

"Did you hear anything?"

"No?"

"I think there's a phone ringing somewhere."

"Go check it out."

"Why me? I bet Jimin forgot her phone in the fridge again."

"Ugh, that girl."

Jeongyeon breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't even know who she was, but she had certainly never
liked anyone from the volleyball team as much as she liked this Jimin girl right now.

"That was close." Nayeon unlocked her phone and snorted as she read the messages. Then she
showed the screen to ex-girlfriend.

[06:51 pm] Minatozaki: NAYEON

[06:52 pm] Minatozaki: FUCK

[06:52 pm] Minatozaki: NAYEONNNNN

[06:52 pm] Minatozaki: NAYEON!!!!!!

[06:52 pm] Minatozaki: I THINK ONE OF THEM LEFT

[06:52 pm] Minatozaki: IDK WE DIDNT SEE WHO IT WAS

[06:52 pm] Minatozaki: I MEAN THERE WAS A CAR OUT FRONT AND NOW THERE ISNT
THERE ANYMORE. ITS GONE

[06:53 pm] Minatozaki: I THINK IT WAS ONE OF THEIR CARS, BUT IM NOT SURE

[06:53 pm] Minatozaki: THE REST OF THESE B1TC|-|3S ARE STILL HERE I GUESS SO IT
MIGHT NOT EVEN BE SOMEONE FROM THE TEAM

[06:53 pm] Minatozaki: BUT SINCE IM NOT SURE ITS BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY

[06:53 pm] Minatozaki: JFC NAYEON COULD YOU FUCKING ANSWER

[06:54 pm] Minatozaki: ANYWAY GET THE HELL OUT

"Never on fucking time, you son of a bitch." Nayeon cursed Sana as she locked the screen without
even bothering to answer. Sadly, Jeongyeon couldn't even try to defend her friend. Sana really
fucked up this time.

"What are we going to do?"

"Get out of here, of course."

"How, Nayeon? They're right there in the living room. Do you know what's also in the living
room? The door!!" She kept gesturing with her hands, trying to burn down her nervousness.

"Jeong, you really need to relax." Nayeon replied nonchalantly and Jeongyeon couldn't understand
how she could be so calm in a situation like this. Her initial panic had subsided, apparently.

"I swear to God that if you tell me to relax one more time, I'll smack you."

"Out of respect for our current situation I won't make any jokes about it, but I hope you know that
I'd appreciate it some other time." Nayeon deadpanned.

Yeah, she had the audacity to tease. Jeongyeon blushed knowing exactly what she meant. She
couldn't even fight back, too appalled to say anything. But fortunately, Nayeon got the flush on her
cheeks as a sign of irritation rather than embarrassment.

"Alright, sorry. I overdid it, it won't happen again." Nayeon apologized and looked away, feeling a
bit embarrassed herself. "Look, we just need to wait until one of these two finds one of our traps.
I'm sure it'll create a distraction big enough for us to get out of here. The rest of the team is still in
the gym as Sana said, so we just have to wait a bit longer, it's going to be okay."

If she wanted to use logic, Jeongyeon could say that this plan was also a good one, but she didn't
want to think logically, she just wanted to freak out. "What if they take too long and the rest of the
team comes back?"

"Then I'll think of something else."

"What if you can't think of anything?"

"You know I always do."

"But what if nothing works out?"

"Then I'll take all the blame!" Nayeon grew a little impatient with all of these what-ifs. "I will get
you out of here, Jeongyeon, don't worry. You shouldn't even be here in the first place."

"I couldn't let you come here all alone." Jeongyeon plainly shot back.

"Not only you could, but also you should." Nayeon frowned, feeling puzzled.

"It'd take much longer to do everything by yourself! You needed someone who knew the place,
like I said!" Jeongyeon sat down with her back resting against the door. Crossed her arms like a
child throwing a tantrum.

"Yeah, alright, it really was somewhat easier with you." Nayeon conceded, also sitting down and
leaning against the wall. She pondered for a few seconds before speaking again. "Thanks for
coming."

Jeongyeon didn't reply, just shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. An almost comfortable silence took
over the pantry for a minute or so. The muffled voices of the two residents could still be heard
from the other side.

"Speaking of which..."

"You wanna know why I've been here before, don't you?"

"I mean, since you mentioned it." She feigned indifference.

"Okay." That word alone drew Nayeon's interested gaze, as if she couldn't believe it actually
worked. Jeongyeon almost broke into a smile, but then she remembered everything and looked
away.

She chose to tell the truth. A part of it, at least. Nayeon didn't need to know the details. But if
Jeongyeon wanted her to open up, she figured she should do the same in return and see if it'd work
out. It was a matter of trust, after all. Maybe after a few exchanges her ex-girlfriend would feel
more comfortable to talk about herself again.

"There was this girl..." Nayeon's face fell upon hearing those words. She stared at her own hands as
she played with the backpack on her lap. "Jihyo was hanging out with her last year. She invited her
to a party here and for some reason I'll never understand nor forgive myself, I agreed to tag along
with them. Maybe to support Jihyo's new relationship, I guess?"

"Oh." Nayeon looked relieved, but then surprised. "Wait, she was from the volleyball team? That
traitor was suking faces with one of the snakes?" Jeongyeon only shrugged.

"The worst part was that she was actually pretty cool. She might still be, I guess, but we don't talk
anymore. They split up, of course. She's one of the few people on the team who doesn't live here
because Jennie made her life a living hell until she and Jihyo broke up."

"Damn, so it does make sense." Nayeon mused.

"What?"
"Jihyo smacking Jennie's face."

"Oh, yeah. But well, that wasn't exactly the reason why she did it."

"What happened then?"

She remembered that day as if it were war flashbacks.

Jeongyeon and Sana were chatting with some classmates while Jihyo was sitting on Sejeong's lap,
basically making out on the couch. Dahyun refused to go to the party since she was still upset
about the prank the volleyball team had pulled on her and Yerim earlier that year. And Momo,
who had just started a relationship with the younger girl, naturally chose to stay at home with her.

The celebration in question was the farewell party for the volleyball seniors who would be
graduating that semester. In particular their current captain, Umji, who was not only graduating but
had also been called to play for a professional volleyball team abroad.

Despite their differences, Umji always treated the soccer team fairly well. That is, to the extent that
the pre-existing historical rivalry allowed her to. She never crossed lines or stirred up trouble like
Jennie did after she left. For instance, while everyone else was there to celebrate a good farewell,
Jennie walked around the house proclaiming that that's her coronation party, since she was going to
be the next captain.

"Have you greeted your queen today?" Jennie quipped by Sana's ear, making the japanese girl roll
her eyes.

"You're not even going to let Umji's seat actually cool down first?" Sana snorted.

Somehow, back then, Sana was still able to hold a conversation with Jennie without wanting to rip
her head off. But that's exactly the day it all ended.

"As far as I'm concerned she's already gone."

"I wouldn't want to be you if she hears you saying this kind of stuff..." Sejeong broke the kiss she
was sharing with Jihyo to warn her teammate.

"What? You think I'm afraid of her?" The yet to be named captain glared at the couple. "I'd make
sure to enjoy your girl toy for now if I were you, Sejeong, because during my reign I won't stand
for anyone fooling around with the scum."

"Oh, and that would be us?" Sana asked wryly. "Funny, you didn't think I was any kind of scum
when you asked me out last year."

Jennie flinched but as soon as it came it was gone. She managed to pull herself together quickly
enough. There were a lot of people around and she was well aware that all of them were attentively
watching that conversation.

"I guess you must have been dreaming about me, Minatozaki. I don't blame you, I'd crave me too if
I were you."

"Deny it all you want, Jennie, that's not going to change the fact that I dumped your ass." Sana
nonchalantly took a sip of her drink, not even bothering to look at the huffy girl at her side.

If Jennie hadn't gotten so worked up, perhaps the other students might have assumed that Sana was
just playing around. Trying to mess with her or something like that. After all, only Jeongyeon and
Jihyo had privileged information since they were Sana's friends, but the rest of them didn't know
the real story behind Jennie's anger.

Only the two of them - besides Nayeon and Momo, who weren't there that night - knew that Sana
had actually hooked up with Jennie at a handful of parties during their first semester in Yonsei.
That is, until Sana found out that Jennie had a long-term girlfriend, who she was supposedly in a
monogamous long-distance relationship with. Fact which the volleyball player had conveniently
failed to mention during their um… encounters.

When Sana questioned her about it, Jannie came clean about her relationship status, but she also
said that since Sana didn't want anything serious, she thought she wouldn't mind and wanted to
keep seeing her anyway.

But the truth was quite the opposite, if there was one thing Sana always tried to shun, that's this
kind of drama. Sana really couldn't stand cheaters. All jokes aside, she really respected other
people's relationships, and she didn't want to be a part of the grossly unfair treatment Jennie was
giving her girlfriend.

That's why she immediately stopped seeing her as soon as she heard about that. However, as it
plainly shows, Jennie didn't take that very well. After that she started to use the rivalry between the
teams as a pretext to try to make Sana's life a living hell.

At first the japanese girl even tried to take it easy and give Jennie some space, since she and her
friends had previously thought that it was probably just a phase in her process of dealing with the
rejection. But after a while the situation became untenable. Sana lost her cool and stopped going
easy on her the moment she started to go after her friends as well. Then it was war.

"Listen-" Jennie stepped closer and Sana sharply sprung to her feet. An anger that wasn't there
before took over her features.

"What? What do you have to say now??" Sana challenged as if they were the only people in that
place. Their faces inches apart and the tension was almost palpable.

"Okay, that's enough." Jeongyeon stepped in. Jumped to her feet and placed herself between the
two before it could turn into a fight. "Go enjoy your coronation or whatever the hell you're calling
it. Sana and I are leaving."

"Leaving? Already? C'mon, the night just started." Jennie changed her tone altogether, as if she
wasn't about to jump Sana's throat a few seconds ago. She was up to something, Jeongyeon knew.
She knew and she didn't want to stay to see whatever shitshow she was planning. "Let's play beer
pong. We can make a bet to make things more interesting."

There. There it was.

"No, thanks. Like I said, we're leaving." Knowing that Sana was drunk enough to actually play and
accept whatever crazy bet Jennie was trying to push, Jeongyeon answered for both of them and
held her friend's hand to keep her still.

"Let her be, goalie, you're the one who wants to go. Sana and I are still going to have some fun
tonight." Jennie took a side step when Jeongyeon tried to bypass, stopping in front of her once
again.

"Maybe you don't have friends who care about you enough to keep you from messing around, but
I'll let you know that Sana has. So get out of my way, I won't ask again." She impatiently fired
back. Sana squeezed her hand but kept quiet, that's all Jeongyeon needed for her to know that she
also wanted to get out of there.

"What are you so afraid of, huh? It's just a game. You can join in too." Jennie pressed.

"I'm not afraid of anything, I just don't want to add any fuel to the fire you're trying to pull just
because of your pitty fights."

"Oh, c'mon. Who would've thought that the great Yoo Jeongyeon, our dearest college girl crush,
would be such a coward?" Jennie's high pitched voice sounded even more screechy to make sure
that it'd become a show for the spectators nearby. Sana's grip on her hand grew tighter and
Jeongyeon offered a small tug to reassure the younger girl that she was okay.

Jeongyeon didn't care about that. She just snorted and shook her head, not paying any mind to that
kind of childish comeback. Seriously, how old was she? Five? That's bullshitt! She was just a bad
person trying to do bad things. The goalkeeper was about to brush it off and call it a night, but then
Jennie did what she knew best: she hit it where she knew it'd hurt; shamelessly touched her
opponent's sore spot.

"You know?" She stepped closer and Jeongyeon suddenly felt uncomfortable. "Maybe when your
little girlfriend took off and left you behind, she might have taken all of your bravado along with
her as well..."

Shit, okay, that was totally uncalled for. Jeongyeon froze. She didn't know what to say or how to
react.

Even though it had been months, she couldn't lie and say that she didn't think about Nayeon
anymore. She was dealing with it better, of course, but hearing someone saying things like that
about her personal life with the sole purpose of hurting her was definitely not cool.

It had also been a while since she had shed her last tear for Nayeon, but an urge to cry
overwhelmed her on the spot. It didn't last more than a couple of seconds, she quickly pushed back
the tears. Held her head high to answer Jennie, but she didn't have the time to do so. Jihyo popped
up by her side and slapped the volleyball player square in the face, sending her scrambling down a
few feets away.

"Go ahead! Open your fucking mouth again so I can actually beat the shit out of you!" Jeongyeon
glanced over to find her best friend screaming while Sejeong tried to hold her back.

"Your-" Jennie couldn't finish because Jihyo lunged forward again, but this time Jeongyeon was
there to hold her back as well. Even Sana was needed to thwart the future captain and then the rest
of the night was all a big blur which involved the campus police and a very unpleasant ride to the
dean's office.

That night was the reason behind Jihyo's suspension, which consequently left the soccer team
shaken and depleted for the playoffs. Jennie also got suspended, but the two of them still became
captains of their respective teams the following year. Sometimes it felt like the faculty itself liked
to fuel their rivalry, but that's another story.

"Long story short," Jeongyeon shook her head and went back to the present, looking at a rather
curious Nayeon who was still leaning against the pantry wall. "I shouldn't have come. None of us
should. Sana got into an argument with Jennie and I tried to get her out of here. When Jennie
noticed that she wasn't getting anything out of Sana, she went for the weakest link. She called me a
coward and Jihyo smacked her face. That's it."
Jeongyeon embarrassedly looked away as Nayeon went quiet for a while.

"She- she did what?" It was a rhetorical question. Nayeon stared at the wall as she took it in, her
features dark.

"Yeah." Jeongyeon shrugged.

"You're not the weakest link, Jeongyeon. You never have and never will."

"I- well, I wasn't in a good place back then. She saw an opportunity and she took it. It's not a big
deal." Jeongyeon didn't want to have to explain why. Deep down she felt like Nayeon already
knew.

"It's not a big deal?? Of course it is!" Nayeon huffed. "Shit, if I wasn't jealous enough of Mina
before..."

"Wa- what?"

"She joined Jihyo in the club of people who gave that bitch what she deserved. If only Momo and
Sana hadn't stopped me, that could've been me."

"But then you wouldn't be on the team anymore." And I'd hate that. The last part she didn't dare
say out loud.

"I'd be totally worth it." Nayeon vouched, unaware of the goalkeeper's thoughts. Still, Jeongyeon
couldn't help but laugh at her antics.

"You never change, do you?" Jeongyeon grinned without a hint of bite in her voice, just
amusement.

Please never change.

"Nope. Not this part, at least." Nayeon leaned her head against the wall and glanced at Jeongyeon.
Her mind seemed to travel somewhere else for a moment.

They caught themselves smiling as they looked into each other's eyes. Neither of them said
anything for a while, they just stared at each other. They weren't even close, each one in a corner of
the pantry and yet that moment felt private. Too intimate to be wrong.

Jeongyeon tried to relax a little but the conversations in the other room had ceased without any of
them noticing. Then Nayeon spoke up before she could question it aloud.

"Jeong," She kept her gaze on the goalkeeper with a gentle and yet determined expression. "You're
the bravest person I know."

She worded it softly and Jeongyeon's breath got caught in her lungs. She felt as if the world around
her had stopped spinning but not in a good way. Now it felt wrong. It felt wrong and she felt like
she could cry.

Would Nayeon say the same thing if she knew that for days Jeongyeon had been lying to her about
not remembering what happened on that rooftop? No, of course she wouldn't.

Jeongyeon had never really believed Jennie's words before, but right there, in that pantry, with one
of the few people of whom she really cared about their opinions, she did feel like a coward.

Luckily, for more than one reason, she didn't have the time to answer. A loud shout shattered the
moment, reminding the two of them that it wasn't the right place or time to have that kind of
conversation.

"I think it came from upstairs." Nayeon said as she stood up and went past Jeongyeon to carefully
take a peek outside. "Come on, this is our cue to get the hell out of here."

"Okay." Jeongyeon reached for Nayeon's hand and together they sneaked to the living room door
as they heard more screaming and complaints coming from upstairs.

Nayeon opened the front door and waited for Jeongyeon to step out before closing it behind her.
And as soon as they got to the porch, the two of them bolted. Ran as fast as they could towards the
car.

"Keys, phone and backpack. Alright, we're good." Nayeon was still panting as made a checklist
once she closed the passenger door. "Everything's here."

"You didn't think to check it up until now? Like, how about before we leave the house??"
Jeongyeon inquired, trying to even out her own breathing as well.

"Better late than never, I guess." Nayeon shrugged and Jeongyeon broke into a laugh. Not just any
laughter, but full-on belly laughs as if that's the funniest thing she's ever heard.

It shouldn't be funny. It wasn't, really. Nayeon and Jeongyeon had just kind of committed a crime.
They broke into a house and almost got caught, but only almost. Now they were in Jihyo's car,
nearly out of breath from all the running and laughing as if they weren't trespassing just a few
minutes ago. Okay, yeah, maybe it was a little funny.

Jeongyeon leaned back and let her body relax on the driver's seat. The back of her head was resting
against the seat cushion and she tilted her head to glance at the beaming girl by her side. God, she
missed it so fucking much. Missed her smile, and her laughter, and just her, through and through.
She couldn't remember the last time she saw Nayeon so carefree. It was both a feast for her eyes
and music to her ears.

As she started to realize her own thoughts, Jeongyeon's gaze abashedly dropped and she finally
noticed that her hand and Nayeon's were still intertwined.

Wait, when did that happen? She wasn't sure.

She recalled grasping Nayeon's hand as they left the pantry. She also remembered that the two of
them ran all the way to the car still holding hands. They definitely had to split up to get into the
car, but apparently they entwined their fingers again in there, as their hands were tightly clasped
together right next to the gearshift.

Was she the one who initiated it? Yeah, probably. Joengyeon always had this habit of reaching for
Nayeon's hand whenever they were together, even unaware.

A couple of years ago she could do it without a bother, but what about now? What was she
supposed to say? How would she tell her ex-girlfriend that she was holding her hand for no other
reason than the fact that she liked how it felt?

Good luck with that, you idiot.

Jeongyeon nearly panicked. When Nayeon's laughter finally came to a halt, the goalkeeper tried to
prepare herself for the awkwardness that's supposed to come next, but it never did. Nayeon just
squeezed her hand one last time in an affectionate fashion before releasing their fingers to reach for
her phone.

"I've gotten about a dozen more messages from Sana and I'm ignoring them all. I'm going to
channel all my anger and deal with it when I see her." She said as if nothing happened and
Jeongyeon mentally thanked her for that.

"Hey, chill out. She probably just made a mistake." Now that they were both safe she could start to
try to defend Sana.

"Now you want me to chill? Really?" Nayeon cocked an eyebrow.

"It all worked out in the end, that's what matters."

"No, what matters is that she better have a great excuse for not doing her only fucking job.
Otherwise, I'm going to kill her."

"Nayeonie..." It slipped off her tongue before she could notice. She almost reached for her hand
again, but that definitely would be too much.

The goalkeeper had already noticed that Nayeon occasionally called her like she used to do in the
good old times. Every time she heard that endearing Jeong flying off Nayeon's lips she'd feel things
she didn't want to admit. She never thought too much about it because she knew it was something
automatic for Nayeon, natural even. But to hear her own voice uttering something that she only
used to use in her most intimate moments with Nayeon was different. It was foreign and yet at the
same time it was familiar. Like coming home after a particular hard day.

"You should let the shock wear off first so you guys can talk." She added and tried to play it cool.

"Okay, okay. I may not kill her, but I can't guarantee I won't yell at her a bit." Nayeon didn't seem
to realize the full effect it had on Jeongyeon. She just threw her backpack in the back seat and
buckled her seatbelt. "Now let's get out of here, please. If I see someone from the volleyball team
walking down the street I might be tempted to add a hit and run to our list of felonies."

Not second guessing, Jeongyeon fastened her own seatbelt and headed for the Beach House, where
they had planned to meet the rest of the team to celebrate. As soon as they crossed the threshold,
both of them were bombarded with questions about how the mission went.

"Soooo?"

"Did it work?"

"You got it all done?"

"Sana and Mina haven't come back yet, so that means the plan worked, right?"

Nayeon didn't say anything, just kept a smug smile on her face as she looked for something on her
phone. Jeongyeon just watched, decided to let the older girl deliver the good news since the plan
had been hers all along.

Then Nayeon held up the screen and showed something to all the prying eyes watching her
intently. It was a picture. A selfie, to be precise.

In said photo, Nayeon had her tongue out and was flipping at a ruined picture of Jennie with
writing underneath. Queen B...itch? Nayeon!!! The team burst into a mix of laughter, excitement
and a whole lot of mumbling.
"You took a selfie??" Jeongyeon blabbed loudly to stand out over the ruckus, but her tone was
purely amused. "I was downstairs worried sick and you were taking pictures up there??"

"Of course, I needed proof." Nayeon shrugged. "I know that no one but us will ever get to see it but
it has sentimental value, you know? It'll go down in history."

Yeah, it was true. As far as they're concerned, no one could ever prove that they were the ones
behind it. Despite their mutual feud, both teams also had known rivalries with other universities as
well, so they're used to compete against and also pull pranks on each other too. So even if the
volleyball team ended up wanting to report something without any proof, Yonsei's administration
would probably assume that one of the other colleges had done all that.

And the picture? Well, that's so Nayeon-like that no one was really surprised. Regardless of the
scolding, Jeongyeon gave in.

"Send it to me, then. I mean, the grup. Send it to the group. For history purposes and all."

"Done." Nayeon beamed at her as Yerim popped up and placed a red cup in her hand. The team
spread out around the house and the meeting was quickly turned into a party.

"Drink up." The young one offered. "You deserve it."

"What's that?"

"Just drink."

Jeongyeon was about to step in when Nayeon chugged it all, no questions asked, which brought a
creepy smile to Yerim's face.

"Where have you been all this time?" Thing Two asked in wonder and Jeongyeon frowned as
Nayeon beamed back.

"Get lost, kid." The goalkeeper dismissed her.

"Thank you, Yerim." Nayeon expressed her appreciation and handed the empty cup back to the
younger girl who walked away slowly, still taking a few glances back with her shining eyes.

"You can't just go accepting drinks from anyone at a party." Jeongyeon scolded as soon as Yerim
disappeared from their sight.

"She's literally on our team? We see her everyday."

"Not only that, she's also the devil's spawn! Her whole life purpose is to get everyone at least two
times drunker than she always is."

"So she's the life of the party?" Nayeon said as if it was obvious.

"Ugh!" Jeongyeon shook her head, frustrated while Nayeon was blatantly enjoying the entire thing.

They spent some more time talking and drinking together. Nayeon and Jeongyeon were
congratulated by their teammates every two minutes as Nayeon was telling them about their every
step inside that house.

Sana and Mina didn't show up until half an hour later, the older one complaining that nobody let
them know they could go back to the Beach House. Sana also said they only found out that Nayeon
was safe and back because of the picture she sent to group chat. According to Mina, when Sana
finally got the selfie, the volleyball team was already starting to leave the gym, so they opted to
stay a little longer and wait until they were all gone so that they wouldn't risk being seen.

At that point, Nayeon was still in the middle of her story-telling show, so they just shared those
details with Jeongyeon and Jihyo, who welcomed them at the door with the good news.

After that they joined the rest of the crew in the living room where Nayeon was still spilling every
single detail of their so-called mission, emphasizing everything with her priceless facial
expressions and her unmatched sense of humor. Even Jeongyeon felt like she was experiencing
everything for the first time, even though she had been there the whole time.

Nayeon was in the spotlight, right where she belonged and Jeongyeon smiled at the thought as she
lingered to her every word. At least now she had an excuse to watch her as she pleased, without any
kind of shame.

"Jisoo's already complaining on twitter." Yerim flashed her phone.

"I think she was the first one back, I recognized her voice when we were in the pantry." Nayeon
said after reading the screen.

"Why did she come back early anyway? I thought they'd be too busy with practice." Jihyo asked
Sana and Mina, but both of them just shrugged.

"According to Jisoo's account, she twisted her ankle and went home early." Momo read from her
own screen. "Why do I get the feeling that she's lying?"

"Because she is. We heard her talking about faking it." Jeongyeon answered. She and Nayeon had
talked about it earlier. The two of them overheard a few loose sentences while they were in the
silence of the pantry. Then, in the car on their way back, they talked and pieced the information
together. "She said she wasn't in the mood to stay there and find the surprises we left for them, so
she left."

"Then she went home and ended up being the first one to find the real surprises." Chaeyoung
snorted from where she was sitting on Tzuyu's lap. "Oh, karma. That one never fails."

"Wait, what did you mean by we?" Sana asked the goalkeeper. Oh, that's right. She and Mina didn't
know that Jeongyeon had tagged along with Nayeon.

"Me and Nayeon. I went down there with her." She explained ready to face their judgment. Mina
actually didn't say anything, just nodded in understanding. But Sana-

"Were you out of your mind??" She looked at Jeongyeon as if she had grown two heads. "If they
had caught you, you could've been suspended or even expelled!"

"Well, me too. But thanks for your concern, I guess." Nayeon dryly cut in.

"It all worked out fine, Sana. That's all that matters." Jeongyeon repeated what she had told
Nayeon. She tried to wrap up the matter so that Nayeon could go back to telling the story.

"Yeah, I guess. At least you didn't get caught." Sana shrugged and flopped down on the couch next
to Mina, putting her feet up on the coffee table.

"No thanks to you, right?" Nayeon pressed. Her face was flushed red and Jeongyeon couldn't tell if
it was because of the booze or the anger she was radiating.
"What do you mean by that?"

"Exactly what I said. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"What? I already explained it by text, we didn't see them leaving."

"You had one job, dude. One fucking job!" Nayeon snapped and Sana also got worked up.

"I told you as soon as I noticed!"

"Then you should've been more careful!"

"And you should quit whining. You said it yourself that you were willing to take the risk, so I don't
get why you're bitching about it now."

"First off, I said I wouldn't mind taking the risk for the team, not because of your imbecility.
Secondly, Jeongyeon was there as well! You wanted to jeopardize me so badly that you put your
own friend at risk!"

"You think I did it on purpose?" Sana sprang to her feet, suddenly vexed.

"I don't know, didn't you?" Nayeon also stood up, tilting her head and crossing her arms in
challenge.

They all watched quietly, no one daring to utter a single word. Jeongyeon sought Sana's gaze with
pleading eyes, silently asking her to drop the matter and put an end to the discussion. The younger
one understood and briefly nodded. She just shook her head and sighed before sitting back down.

"You don't know what you're talking about." She tried to brush it off.

"What about you, princess?" Although Sana had backed off, Nayeon was still angry and out for
someone's blood, so she turned to Mina next. "I expected that from Sana since she doesn't like me.
It makes sense that she would want to screw me up, but what about you? What'd you get out of it?"

"I- uh, I'm sorry. We- we didn't mean any harm, I swear." Mina looked like a deer caught in the
headlights. Stammered as she tried to answer under Nayeon's harsh gaze.

"Leave her alone." Sana engaged again but she didn't get up. Her hand found Mina's knee and she
didn't even look up at Nayeon.

"And when are you going to leave me alone?" Nayeon shot back, her voice overflowing with
frustration. "Because I've been taking all kinds of shit from you since I've been back, Sana. You
can play the smartass game with me, you can tease and pick on me all you want or you can just
ignore me when it's convenient for you! Whatever makes you feel better, I don't fucking care! I
don't care because you're not the reason I'm here! But this right here is a whole other level of
douchebaggery. Jeongyeon could've gotten into serious trouble because of you! Because you lied!"

"No- no, I didn't know she was with you!"

"Wait, no. Hold up." Jihyo cut in before Nayeon could reply. If their captain decided to jump in,
Jeongyeon knew that this had gone beyond a silly pet peeve. There was something else. "Even if
you didn't know Jeongyeon was with her, Sana, you still committed to the task. Nayeon and
Jeongyeon are equally part of the team. If you really did this to Nayeon..." She trailed off.

Oh shit. No. Jihyo was right.

It's a matter of trust. Sana - and Mina too, of course, but since she wasn't on the team the situation
was still a little different - was willing to do something for the team but ended up not doing it right.
And by the way Sana worded it, it could be inferred that she would've tried harder if she had
known that Jeongyeon was there too. But that's not how it was supposed to be.

Initially Jeongyeon felt bad at the thought that Sana might actually hate Nayeon to the extent of
trying to do her such thing, but all it took was a single glance at the atypically shrunken and
helpless-looking girl slumped on the couch to know- no, to be sure, that she would never do that.

"Just admit it already!" Nayeon snapped again. "You can say it! C'mon, speak up! Tell me that you
hate me so much that you let it happen hoping that I'd get kicked out for good!"

"Why don't you go ahead and start admitting some things yourself?" Sana tried to pull herself
together to fight back. Everyone except Nayeon, who was blinded by her current rage, had noticed
that Sana sounded shaken, even hurt. But the japanese girl was also too stubborn to let the other
girl walk over her like that. "Or you're going to keep pretending that you're not only here because-"

"Okay! That's enough. Tempers are getting a little flared over here so let's take a break." Jihyo
stepped in again, standing up and clapping her hands as if she was breaking up a crowd. "Nayeon, I
think you've had too much to drink, go get some water."

"Fuck off." Nayeon defensively crossed her arms again.

"Sana, we'll talk later once you're feeling more calm."

"I'm- I'm not nervous." She stuttered and Nayeon snorted at that. Shook her head, grabbed her
phone and headed out the exit.

"I'm leaving." She let them know before disappearing through the door.

The tension melted away a little and the rest of the team felt like they could breathe again.
Jeongyeon suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to follow Nayeon, but she needed to do something
first.

"Sana?" The goalkeeper called out as soon as she heard the door being slammed.

"I didn't do it on purpose, Jeong, you have to believe me." Her eyes bored into Jeongyeon's and her
tone was on the verge of despair. "I didn't lie either, I'm sorry for almost getting you into trouble
but I'd never do that to you. Not even to her, no matter how many problems we might have. She's
on the team and I know how much it matters. If I were to betray her trust like that it'd mean that I
could betray any of you. And I'd never do that, never." She blurted out as she glanced at the
strained faces around her, which softened and nodded in understanding as each word left her
mouth. "I promise."

"We know. Of course you wouldn't." Momo quickly assured. She looked just as nervous as Sana,
as if she was also feeling what her best friend was feeling. Momo reached out and ruffled her hair
just to let her know she was there.

"Yeah, I do know. I just needed to hear it from you." Jeongyeon sat next to her for a minute and
placed her hand over hers. The silence lasted a few more seconds as the team, in wordless
agreement, waited for Jihyo to speak up as their captain.

"We believe in you, Sana." She also approached, crouched down in front of her and rested her
hands on her knees. "But you should also tell her that."
Her. Nayeon. Jeongyeon needed to go.

She said goodbye to her friends and left the Beach House after hugging both Sana and Mina who
still looked a little gloomy even after the matter had been clarified.

As she left Jeongyeon realized that she had no idea where Nayeon had been living since she came
back, but she did know that there was only one place that could calm her down after all of that
mess. So Jeongyeon wasn't the least bit surprised when she pushed open the rooftop door and
found a silhouette leaning against the parapet wall.

"I'm trying, Jeongyeon." She uttered as soon as she heard the door closing behind her, didn't need
to look back to know who it was. "I really am, but Sana can drive me mad sometimes. It's like she
goes out of her way to set me off."

"I know." She copied her ex-girlfriends position, watching the soccer field in the distance and
trying hard not to glance at the girl besides her. She knew from experience how dangerous
watching Nayeon's face under the moonlight could be, and that wasn't a risk she was willing to
take at that moment.

"I mean, I understand that she hates me. She has every right to, but then why agree to help me out?
It was too cheap, even for her."

"I know it's hard to believe, but it really wasn't intentional."

"You're right, it is hard to believe." She huffed. "I just- I don't know what to do to fix it. Me and
Sana. I know we were never best friends, but I- I liked her. I… I still do."

"You were friends, Nayeonie. Good friends even."

"You really think so? Because I can't help but think that I'm the only one who actually felt like that.
Maybe she just never considered me as a friend like I did." Nayeon's choked voice compelled
Jeongyeon to look at her. She saw a stray tear rolling down and had to muster all the strength she
had in her not to touch Nayeon's cheek and wipe it away.

"Sana is... well, she's not easy. And she's been going through some stuff that-" Jeongyeon halted.
Choosing her words better, she realized that she had no right to share things that had been disclosed
to her in private. "I'm sorry, it's not my story to tell."

Nayeon just nodded and kept staring at the horizon. The night was getting colder by the minute,
the icy wind bringing a faint buzzing sound to their ears.

"You know she has a odd way of showing her feelings and sometimes she can still fuck it up." She
still tried to smooth things over. "But the fact that she picks on you instead of just ignoring your
existence altogether says a lot more than you're willing to admit and you know it. I mean, you
should know that since you're just like her when it comes to that." Nayeon chuckled and the
tightness in Jeongyeon's chest eased up a little, like her heartstrings were finally released. Nayeon
wiped her face and let go of the ledge to lie down on one of the beach chairs, sighing tiredly as she
lowered herself into it.

"I'm sorry for dumping it all on you like that." Nayeon closed her eyes and Jeongyeon dragged the
other chair over to lie down right next to her. "I just..." She trailed off and drew in a deep breath. "I
don't know."

"It's okay, that's why I'm here." Jeongyeon replied, letting her arm brush against Nayeon's. The
night wind didn't feel so cold when the feeling of their fingers lightly touching warmed them from
 the inside out.

I'm here for you.

Jeongyeon also closed her eyes and in that moment, for the first time in who knew how long, that
rooftop felt like home to her again.

Chapter End Notes

:):
 you call the shots
Chapter Summary

"Thank you, by the way. You know I joke a lot and sometimes I can come out as a jerk
but I really appreciate your help."

"No worries." Jeongyeon shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "It's not like I'm looking
forward to getting out of here. The field is my favorite place on campus anyway."

Sure. Jeongyeon had just gone through two hours of intense fitness training, followed
by half an hour of conditioning work and then another hour of diving for the ball
during extra finishing practice. She was exhausted, it was impossible not to be. But
still, while everyone else had already gone to their respective homes completely
drained in the hopes of getting a few minutes of rest before facing the rest of the day's
classes, the goalkeeper chose to be there, collecting cones and storing equipment with
her ex-girlfriend. But yeah, of course, it was because she liked the field.

Chapter Notes

remember the 200813 twice vlive? we're talking about That Nayeon, but make it egirl
nayeon as well. don't worry, you'll get it soon enough.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Why is Coach Bae trying to kill us?" Momo grumbled as she was doing the sit-ups the coach had
given them as cooldown.

"Who pissed her off? It's Yerim, isn't she? Hey, what did you do?" Dahyun accused, yet panting
due to the exercises.

"What?! I didn't do anything!" Yerim protested, also breathless. "Jeongyeonie barely got in on time
today, that's probably it. You know how much she hates when someone's late."

"Shut up you idiots." Jihyo shushed them, keeping her voice as low as possible so as not to draw
Bae's attention. "Coach's not trying to kill us, at least not today. She's just going hard on us because
we're playing a friendly match against Sogang University this weekend. She told me before
practice and she's going to announce it to you once we're done."

"That's if anyone is still alive after practice, right?" Momo surly grunted.

"I knew something was up! Fuck, this week's gonna be a living hell." Sana hissed over all the
hushed complaints murmurs around.

"But why all of this if it's just a friendly match?" Tzuyu asked, not quite understanding why that'd
be such a big deal. Chaeyoung hummed in agreement.
"Oh right, they're newbies." Dahyun mused.

"Yes, baby. Isn't it beautiful when they're kids, so pure and innocent?" Momo mocked, earning a
sulky look from Tzuyu.

"Sogang's coach also happens to be Coach Bae's wife." Jihyo explained to put an end to the
freshmen's misery.

"Wife???" A wide-eyed Chaeyoung uttered in shock.

All of them simultaneously shushed her, but it was too late. The noise had already caught Bae's
attention and she promptly cast a stern glance their way. She was about to walk towards the group
when Nayeon, who was right next to her, distracted her by showing some information on the
clipboard in her hands. Later she'd urge everyone to say Thank You Nayeon.

"She's married?!" Chaeyoung screamed-whispered once they were out of the woods.

"Happily married, actually. At least I'd be if I was married to Kang Seulgi." Sana whispered,
sporting a cheeky smile. "She's hot as hell."

"But so is Coach Bae, so I don't know if I wanted to be her or be with her." Yerim daydreamed.

"I wonder how funny it'd be if she could hear you saying it, Thing Two." Sana teased.

"I've heard you say far worse." The younger one retorted, cracking an eyebrow at the midfielder.

"I've never noticed a wedding ring before." Chaeyoung mulled aloud, looking a little thrown off.

"Kang played for Sogang at the same time Bae played for Yonsei. They met on the field, grew
closer and have been together ever since. But the rivalry lives on." Momo relayed the same story
which one of her seniors told her when she was just a freshman.

"Oh, I do love a good enemies to lovers." Tzuyu goodnaturedly remarked.

"Me too, but Coach Bae still takes said rivalry pretty seriously, so we can't lose." Dahyun
whispered back in a slightly serious tone.

"No fucking way. Since I've been here we've only lost to Sogang once and it was the playoffs last
year." Sana relayed, grimacing like she was having war flashbacks. "Coach almost exhausted us to
death the next few practices even though the season was already over for us. It was the closest I've
been from hell and believe me when I say that I've been through a lot."

"It's true. I didn't even play that game and still suffered the consequences." Jihyo remorsefully
recalled. "If you think it's bad today, just wait until practice next week if we end up losing that
fucking match."

"I'll definitely get a doctor's note. I'm going to hang out at some hospital and get myself infected
with the flu. Anything will be better than being here." Yerim shrugged.

"Are you sure she's married?" Chaeyoung interrupted the current topic, brows frowning in distress.
She had quit the drills and was just sitting now, staring at Coach's Bae back from afar.

"Chaeng, what's going on? Are you okay?" Jihyo gently coaxed as her features softened at the
younger girl.

"Eh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. It's just... I don't know, I guess I just wasn't expecting it." Chaeyoung
noticed all eyes on her and blushed with the sudden attention. She lay back down on the grass and
resumed the sit-ups.

"You're homophobic, aren't you? Does your girlfriend know about that?" Sana teased and
Chaeyoung rolled her eyes.

"Hold on. Our Little Chaeng has a crush on Coach Bae, is that it?" Momo followed Sana's lead, but
tried a different approach. When the younger girl flinched and blushed even harder the duo knew
they'd hit the jackpot.

"Oh, is that so? Didn't know you're into older women." Sana laughed, trying to poke the young
striker's sides.

"Her girlfriend's right here, dude." Yerim tried to defend her friend.

"No, they're right. I know my girlfriend." Tzuyu answered nonchalantly. She sat up and propped
her arms on her bent knees to take a breath. "Bae's all she's talked about since we got here. You
know when someone really likes a band or an idol way too much? It's kind of like that; Chae can
really hyperfixate sometimes."

"And you're cool with that?" Yerim asked hesitantly, an eyebrow arched in doubt.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I know I'm the one." Tzuyu winked at her girlfriend just as she ran her hand
down her upper arm, making Chaeyoung shiver.

Her answer earned a round of cooed whoops from the group and also made Chaeyoung blush even
harder, if possible. She lay down on the grass again and hid her face behind her arms.

"It's not a big deal, Thing Two. You'll realize that once you finally get interesting enough to get a
girlfriend. Or boyfriend, I mean, no judgments here." Momo shifted the focus to Yerim.

"You do know that when you call me Thing Two you're acknowledging that your girlfriend is
Thing One, don't you?" Yerim tried to compromise her in retaliation.

"The only one she's is The One For Me." Momo just had to gross everyone out.

"Okay, but drop dead gorgeous and confident. Chaeng, girl, you do have type." Sana, who was still
focused on Chayeoung, crawled closer so she could pat her head a few times.

"Stop it!" Chaeyoung whined and tried to slap Sana's hand away, but it didn't stop her. She insisted
on her attacks, making the younger girl crawl until she bumped into Jeongyeon, who was on the
other side.

The crash finally brought Jeongyeon back to reality. Up until then she was completely unaware of
what was happening in her surroundings, obliviously ignoring the turmoil that was going on around
her. She had spent the entire practice too busy exchanging lingering glances with a particular coach
assistant who was always by Bae's heels.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jeongyeon grumbled after being onslaught.

"We just found out that Chaeng has a big fat crush on Coach Bae, just like you. But we chose to
pick on her because you're tall and strong and could easily kick our asses." Yerim answered sharply
as Sana and Chaeyoung continued their little struggle on the grass.

"I could kick your asses too!" Chaeyoung threatened but she was currently under Sana, so no one
really took her seriously.

"Just- just like me?" Jeongyeon ignored the fight and asked, confused. "What do you mean?"

"Yeah. Like, I get it, she's fucking beautiful. You know, she's like wine, gets hotter as she age-"
Yerim halted, glanced at both sides to make sure no one who wasn't supposed to listen was close.
"Prettier, I mean she gets prettier. But you could at least try to be subtle about it. You didn't take
your eyes off Coach today, not even for the sit-ups, for God's sake."

Jeongyeon turned bright red and got so embarrassed that she wished a hole would swallow her right
up. Or swallow Yerim instead, that would help too. But then she saw the confused, knowing and
mocking looks of Momo, Jihyo and Sana, respectively, and wished the hole would choose them
instead. Crap.

Luckily, a whistle blew announcing the end of practice, which ended up interrupting the potential
follow up questions as the players headed to the topic of the previous conversation, the coach.

As tipped off by Jihyo, Coach Bae reported that they'd be playing a friendly match against Sogang
on Sunday. With that piece of information in mind, Sana, Momo and Yves opted to stay back and
attend the finishing training session run by Nayeon. It was a good call, after all, nobody was
willing to risk losing.

Speaking of them, after the fight between Nayeon and Sana, the mood within the team got uneasy
and awkward for a few days, maybe a week. The first couple of practices following the quarrel
were a bit uncomfortable, but still bearable. Nayeon didn't show up for the group lunches and
Jeongyeon would be lying if she said she didn't miss her at all. But after a few days, to everyone's
surprise but collective happiness, Sana and Nayeon walked into the cafeteria together, laughing and
talking - read teasing each other - as if a cold war wasn't being waged.

Momo and Dahyun also seemed surprised, so Jeongyeon found comfort in the fact that she wasn't
the only one lost. Jihyo, on the other hand, seemed a little more sharp and had a huge grin on her
face. It was quite obvious that she had more information than the rest of them, but yeah, okay,
captain's duties and all. In a silent but collective agreement they all choose not to talk about it.
Jeongyeon, of all people, figured it was best not to get into the details since she was way too glad
to question anything else.

Meanwhile, Nayeon and Jeongyeon were talking more often after the last rooftop event. Not only
at the group lunches or team social gatherings, but also when it was just the two of them.

More than once Jeongyeon found herself walking Nayeon to class even though her own classroom
was in the opposite direction. They also openly chatted with each other in public and gradually the
rest of the gang stopped acting like they had to walk on eggshells around them. It felt so normal
that they even joined in a movie night with Momo, Sana and Jihyo just like old times - plus
Dahyun now. Everything was going so smoothly that sometimes Jeongyeon felt as if she was
twelve again and had just befriended Nayeon.

Befriended? No. That's not it.

That wasn't what she wanted, it didn't feel right.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you planning on helping me anytime soon?" Nayeon
called her out after the extra practice was over.

As a sign of trust - or perhaps just convenience - from Coach Bae towards her intern, Nayeon had
been given a key with the responsibility of putting away the equipment and locking the locker
room after each training session. Jeongyeon already had to stay back due to the extra practice, but
in the last few days she also chose to stick around even longer and help Nayeon with her internship
tasks.

"You're just trying to outsource your work." Jeongyeon feigned annoyance but still proceeded to
collect the cones that were kicked out by the sidelines.

"Well, since you're already right here..." Nayeon quipped, but then she paused to take a quick
glance at the goalkeeper. "Thank you, by the way. You know I joke a lot and sometimes I can
come out as a jerk but I really appreciate your help."

"No worries." Jeongyeon shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. "It's not like I'm looking forward to
getting out of here. The field is my favorite place on campus anyway."

Sure. Jeongyeon had just gone through two hours of intense fitness training, followed by half an
hour of conditioning work and then another hour of diving for the ball during extra finishing
practice. She was exhausted, it was impossible not to be. But still, while everyone else had already
gone to their respective homes completely drained in the hopes of getting a few minutes of rest
before facing the rest of the day's classes, the goalkeeper chose to be there, collecting cones and
storing equipment with her ex-girlfriend. But yeah, of course, it was because she liked the field.

"Hey, by the way, how's it going? The experience of being mentored by the one and only Bae
Joohyun. Are you liking it so far? Except for this boring part, I mean." She asked, motioning to the
bag full of vests that Nayeon was dragging along the sidelines.

"It's not boring when I have company." Nayeon blurted out plainly and let a ball slip out of her
hand when she realized the implications. "I mean, it's going pretty well. I'm kinda really getting
into it." She quickly added, playing it cool. "She's amazing, you know, and I've been learning a lot
of cool stuff. This week, for example, she wants me to watch some videos from Sogang team's to
apply the analysis techniques she taught me so we can use it for Sunday's game."

"And you're actually digging it?"

"Incredibly so, yes. If I really want to be a real manager someday I gotta learn how to read my
opponents so I can prepare my team."

Jeongyeon just nodded to let her know that she was listening. She could tell Nayeon was really
excited, about to ramble about it as she always used to do about anything she was really into.

"When I was still playing, Bae and our previous coaches always had all the information figured
out, just ready to lay it on us at the briefings. But now I get to participate in the process behind it
and it's really nice. I thought it'd be a bit boring at first, but now I just find it exciting. It's pretty
rad."

"It does sound cool when you talk about it."

"It really is, you gotta see it sometime."

Then, like an old habit that was slowly coming back, Jeongyeon caught herself speaking before
thinking when she was around Nayeon. "Want some company to watch these videos?"

Jeongyeon was facing Nayeon's back when she let it slip, but still the goalkeeper could see the way
she froze on the spot.
Maybe that was too much, maybe she crossed a line there.

Why on earth would she ask that? What was she thinking, anyway?

What if Nayeon got it wrong and thought it meant something else?

What if she actually got it right but still didn't want her around?

She was about to laugh it off and take it back when the other girl finally spoke up.

"Are you free today after classes?"

"Mhm, sure." Jeongyeon's mouth was too dry to say anything else.

"I usually start as early as possible and watch as much as I can until I fall asleep, but you don't have
to stay late." Nayeon spun around and eyed Jeongyeon in anticipation. "Can we meet at my place?"

"Yeah, okay." She nodded after licking her lips. "Later today, then. I't a da- I mean, I'll be there."

"I'll text you the address." Nayeon said before Jeongyeon could even remember that she still didn't
know where she lived.

Later, after skipping the last class of the day to get some well needed rest, Jeongyeon was lying on
her bed when she opened the texts she had gotten from a number she still hadn't saved. She also
found a few old texts that had not been opened yet. All sent the night she came back.

[11:36 pm] Unknown Number: Hi. I know it's been a while, but I'm coming home. Can we talk?

[01:15 am] Unknown Number: I heard you're at the Beach House. I'm coming over, can we talk
over there?

[01:19 am] Unknown Number: I'm on my way, just so you know

[01:38 am] Unknown Number: I guess we kind of missed each other

[01:44 am] Unknown Number: Okay, I get it. Maybe you don't wanna see me, but I really need to
talk to you, Jeong

[01:46 am] Unknown Number: You don't have to see me if you don't want to, but at least call me?
Please? I'll take it, we just really need to talk

[01:59 am] Unknown Number: Damn it, Jeongyeon. Talk to me

[02:10 am] Unknown Number: I'll come over in the morning, okay? I promise I'll be quick

[02:23 am] Unknown Number: I'm sorry. Hope you're okay

And then the newest ones. It was a bit awkward compared to the old ones.

[02:38 pm] Unknown Number: [SENT FIXED LOCATION]

[02:39 pm] Unknown Number: I gotta do something rn but I've sent the address. Apt 1001

[02:39 pm] Unknown Number: I should be home around 4 pm, you can come whenever

Yoo(r) #1 saved contact as Nayeon.

Yoo(r) #1 changed contact to Im Nayeon.

[03:35 pm] Yoo(r) #1: okay, I'll be there

[03:37 pm] Im Nayeon: Cool. See you soon :)

True to her words, Jeongyeon was standing at the lobby of Nayeon's apartment building a little past
four o'clock. It was located on the outskirts of the campus, but it was certainly not inhabited by
regular college students.

The building had at least twenty or so stories, underground parking and a 24-hour reception desk.
What kind of college student had the luxury of two elevators, a lobby and a fucking doorman?
That'd be Im Nayeon, of course.

Jeongyeon felt like she was underdressed as soon as she stepped into the elevator with some other
residents of the building. She was only wearing an oversized t-shirt, ripped jeans and a plaid shirt
tied around her waist with soiled all-stars as a bonus. Beside her, a teenager in sporty clothes with a
tennis racket in his hand; a young man in a suit, briefcase and shiny shoes who looked like he was
coming home from a day at the office; and an old lady with a Chihuahua in her arms who growled
and looked down at Jeongyeon the whole way to the tenth floor, until she finally got out. Nice
neighbors, she made a mental note to tell Nayeon later.

When she stopped by the door with the number 1001 displayed on it, the full realization of what
she was doing finally hit her like lightning. Not that she hadn't already spent the entire day
overthinking the implications of such actions. Jeongyeon couldn't eat, study, let alone pay any
attention to her classes. She didn't even have the guts to tell any of her friends what she was going
to do that afternoon, fearing that one of them would either make fun of her or somehow convince
her that it was probably a bad idea.

But was it a bad idea, though? Hey, she was just trying to help.

Even so, the thought of spending time alone with Nayeon still sent shivers through her body. Sure,
they did have plenty of alone time over the past days, but what was about to happen was a whole
other level. That's Nayeon's home. It was way too personal. But then again, Nayeon had been to
her apartment before, more than once in fact and nothing had gotten out of hand. They were fine,
everything was gonna be okay.

Before she could freak out even more, Jeongyeon knocked on the door and had to wait less than
five seconds for it to be answered. Once the door was opened Jeongyeon was met with a slightly
different looking Nayeon.

She was barefoot and wearing one of her usual dark jeans and a white muscle tee, nothing different
from what she used to wear in college. What was different, however, was her hair. It was still
brown and short, a little past her shoulders, but now she also had two pink streaks on each side,
right in the front.

"Hi?" Jeongyeon got a little distracted as she was taking in her new look.

If there was one thing Nayeon loved more than soccer, it'd most definitely be her hair. While
growing up both Jeongyeon and Jihyo had experimented with new cuts and colors, Nayeon had
always refused to let herself be influenced by them. Even if it might seem like it's not such a big
deal, seeing the first change in that aspect after all those years surely made Jeongyeon rather
intrigued. Plus... yeah, she looked good.
"Hey." Nayeon stepped out of the way. "Come in."

"Uh, thanks." Jeongyeon slightly shook her head to resume her focus. Walked into the apartment
after taking off her shoes and neatly placing them by the door.

The first room was pretty large, that's the first thing she noticed. Huge, actually, probably as big as
the whole apartment she shared with Momo. The decoration, however, did not match the owner of
the house at all. It was all dark colors and surprisingly minimalist.

Jeongyeon carefully glanced around and made some mental notes as her eyes traveled around the
place: the gray L-shaped sofa was also huge and the TV pinned against the wall could be compared
to a movie theater screen. In addition to the dark carpet, the simple coffee table and the armchair
beside the couch, behind the sofa was a large glass table that seats six people. A few abstract
paintings on the walls added the final touch to the décor.

In the far end of the room, near a hallway that Jeongyeon assumed would lead to the bedroom,
there were several yet to be opened moving boxes, probably filled with belongings which Nayeon
never cared enough to open. And the other corner of the same room held the combined kitchen - an
amazing one, by the way, Jeongyeon could not help but be amazed.

Behind the white granite countertop was the fridge, the stove, a microwave and everything else, all
set in gray shades that seemed way too clean. Nayeon was never great at cooking, Jeongyeon knew
from experience, but she couldn't believe that the older girl had just been eating take outs for the
past couple of months.

"Cool place." Jeongyeon finally said after realizing that she had been staring for too long. She took
her backpack off her shoulder and stood in the middle of the room.

"Yeah, it's my dad's. This is where he used to stay whenever he came to Seoul for business."
Nayeon closed the door and set off toward the kitchen. "You can leave your backpack anywhere,
make yourself comfortable. Do you want some water?"

"No, thanks. I'm good." Jeongyeon followed Nayeon's instructions about the backpack and placed
it by the couch, but she felt a little out of place nevertheless. She had to do something to stop that
feeling, so she tried to strike up some convo to distract herself. "What's up with your hair?"

Not. Like. That! Jeongyeon scolded herself.

That's a stupid question and it might have sounded like criticism. And it'd be a pretty stupid critic,
by the way, because Nayeon looked beautiful. Not that she was planning on saying that out loud.

"I dyed it." Nayeon snickered as she pulled out a bottle of water from the fridge.

"No- wait, I wasn't criticizing." She quickly added to prevent a possible misunderstanding. "It's just
that you've always been very strict about what you do with your hair so I was a little surprised,
that's all."

"I know, Jeong. I didn't think you were being judgmental." Nayeon hung behind the countertop
playing with the bottle cap while Jeongyeon was still there, standing in the middle of the room as if
her feet were glued to the floor. "I kind of... ah, let's just say I lost a bet."

"A bet?" Jeongyeon frowned. She had a few questions. What kind of bet? What was it about? And
who would choose that as a punishment? But the only thing that came out of her mouth was:
"When someone loses a bet, shouldn't they do something that would make them, I don't know, look
bad?"
A beat passed. Jeongyeon took a moment to realize what she said. She was too busy taking glances
at the way Nayeon's arms were visible in that shirt, and also how she had thrown her head back,
exposing her neck and looking so incredibly good while she was what? Just drinking water??

Damn it, Jeongyeon, what's wrong with you?

Meanwhile Nayeon placed the bottle back on the countertop. Crossed the kitchen island to walk
toward Jeongyeon, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Why?" Nayeon tilted her head as she stopped in front of her with a smirk on her face. She ran a
hand through her hair and tucked one of the pink streaks behind her ear all while looking right into
Jeongyeon's eyes. "Do you like it?"

Jesus fucking Christ.

Jeongyeon gulped as she felt something prickling inside. Why on earth did she think that being
here was such a good idea? It had barely been five minutes and she was already feeling like her
stomach was doing somersaults, the rest of her body also feeling things she hadn't felt in a really
long time.

"It- it looks fine." She could only nod nervously in return hoping that this would wrap up that
matter.

"Thanks, I liked it too." Nayeon's soft voice rang into her ears. Then she bypassed Jeongyeon to sit
on the couch after turning on the TV. A laptop was already set on the coffee table. "You're
coming?"

Jeongyeon mentally cursed herself in the three languages she knew before schooling her features
and turning around. She walked toward Nayeon but she sat herself on the armchair instead of
joining her on the couch.

"You sure you don't want anything to drink? Or a snack, maybe? You look a little off." Nayeon
asked, her eyes never leaving the laptop in front of her. She put a flash drive in and waited while a
series of videos popped up on the screen. Only then, when met with silence, she turned her
attention to Jeongyeon.

"Uh, no. Thanks, I'm fine." Jeongyeon looked away and stared at the TV. The big screen was
projected the same thing as the smaller one. "Shall we get started?"

"Sure, so we'll start with the match you guys lost last semester, is that okay? This one we'll need to
watch more carefully, but for the next one I can set it at a higher speed so we can watch more stuff
today." Nayeon said but her tone was tentative, as if she was waiting for her approval.

She seemed thoroughly committed to her task and completely oblivious to the... troubles
Jeongyeon was currently facing. It only made the goalkeeper feel even more stupid, as if she were
a dumb frat guy.

"You call the shots." She replied uneasily, crossing her legs. "I'm just here as the intern's intern
today."

"Speaking of which, wanna know something cool?" The game was already playing on the screen
and Nayeon scooted closer to the edge of the couch, getting closer to Jeongyeon's armchair.

"Yeah?" Jeongyeon replied unsurely.

"You can't tell anyone." Nayeon stressed her words and lowered her tone as if they weren't the only
people in that apartment.

"I won't." Jeongyeon immediately leaned closer. Curiosity getting the best of her.

"Even though this will be the first game I'll be attending as an assistant, for the last couple of
weeks Coach Bae and I have watched a few games to start preparing for the regular season."

Jeongyeon just nodded and propped her to continue when Nayeon paused unnecessarily. For
dramatic effects, she supposed.

"And the games we watch are usually the ones we find on youtube or the highlights that the league
channel provides."

Another pregnant pause. Another nod.

"But these videos over here..." She pointed at her screen and Jeongyeon briefly glanced at it before
returning her attention to Nayeon. "They're from Kang's personal video library." Nayeon revealed
with a triumphant smile on her face.

"You mean Coach Bae's wife??" Jeongyeon looked bewildered.

"The one and only."

"And she just let you and Coach Bae - literally the enemy, may I add - see all of this before the
game?" She couldn't believe her ears.

"Yeah, no, that's exactly the problem." Nayeon chuckled. "Kang doesn't know her wife has a
copy."

"You're kidding, right?" Jeongyeon leaned back while she basked in that piece of information.

"Nope, I wouldn't. The videos were made by her assistants, so we can even hear the instructions
Kang gives her player in the audio. She obviously wouldn't give this to Bae willingly. It's a far too
valuable weapon in the opponent's hands."

"Damn, so she-" Jeongyeon laughed, imagining her badass coach sneaking in and stealing some
videos from her wife. "Who would've thought that Coach Bae would do such a thing to her own
partner?"

"Right?! But apparently she at least felt a little guilty afterwards because Bae had the nerve to steal
the videos but not to watch them with me. She handed me the flash drive and told me a thinly-
veiled version of the story. Made me swear secrecy on pain of, she said and I quote, making my life
a living hell. So I'm really trusting you right now."

"Don't worry!" Jeongyeon was still a little astonished over the news. She thoughtlessly held out her
pinky to which Nayeon responded by reaching out with hers, intertwining their little fingers and
sealing the promise of silence as if they were kids. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"I know." Nayeon was grinning as she stared at their hands for a moment. But soon - way too soon
in Jeongyeon's opinion - she recovered hers in a soft movement, breaking the contact. "Bae also
said I'd better get the right info because she doesn't want all her work to be for nothing. And by
work I mean thievery."

"That's better than top ten anime betrayals." Jeongyeon deadpanned.

"Top ten soccer world betrayals sounds better." Nayeon quipped just as seriously and soon after the
two girls broke into giggles.

"Why do you think Bae wants to win this match so badly? I get the whole rivalry thing but damn,
she's her wife, you know?" Jeongyeon asked once she managed to calm down. "I mean, I wouldn't
mind losing to my wife once in a while."

"I'm sure they've got some kind of bet over it. Probably every game."

"Yeah?"

"Of course! Why else would she go behind her wife's back like that? There has to be something at
stake."

"Mhm, it makes sense." Jeongyeon considered it for a moment and then she pondered out loud. "I
wonder what it is."

"Whatever's at stake this time, Coach Bae really wants to win." Nayeon wiggled her eyebrows with
a suggestive smirk on her face. It took about two seconds for Jeongyeon to understand what she
was trying to imply, but then she gasped, appalled.

"Ugh, why'd you say that?" Jeongyeon complained, unable to stop the blush that creeped over her
cheeks. "How am I going to look at her again after that?!"

"You asked for it, you're so easy to flush." Nayeon shrugged and made her way back to the laptop
so she could restart the match and turn up the volume.

She reiterated that really needed to pay attention and Jeongyeon agreed since she knew Nayeon
didn't want to disappoint her mentor. After a while, they settled into a comfortable silence as they
watched the first match.

"Now. That's the play that led them to the first goal." Jeongyeon remembered the exact moment. It
still riled her up.

"Number seven, right wing." Nayeon noted.

"That's Yuju. She's terrible and by terrible I mean terrible good. She's really fast too, I've lost count
of how many times I've been in one on one with her."

"I remember her. She must be a senior now, right? She was already playing for Sogang when we
first got to Yonsei."

"Yeah, I think so. I heard she has some professional teams taking interest in her."

"She's pretty good."

"Right? I can't wait to get rid of her."

"Don't worry, we'll give her a great parting gift once we beat them on Sunday." Nayeon confidently
said as she made more notes in what looked like a journal she had laying on her lap.

"You sound confident."

"I gotta be."

"Second goal now." Jeongyeon warned.

"You conceded two goals in five minutes??"

"It wasn't my fault!" She brought her hands up in surrender. "Just watch it. In our defense, Jihyo
was suspended and Dahyun was out because of an injury. I'm not blaming it on Yerim, but she was
so lost without either of them on the field. Poor girl, it was a mess. She had to be replaced by a
center-back so that we could hold our defense at the end."

"But she's good. Yerim, I mean. She works really well with Dahyun."

"Yes, but that was their first year and Dahyun was injured back then. It was a lot of pressure for the
freshmen, I can't even judge them for breaking."

"Yeah, you're right." Nayeon nodded. "Second goal started with number seven as well. We already
know who we gotta stop."

As the game kept playing on the screen they talked formations together. Strategies and basics,
things they both were quite familiar with. The first game ended and they went straight to the next
one after a quick break for Nayeon to get them some water and cookies from the kitchen. They
kept the matches at normal speed so they could listen to Kang's comments more attentively. They
also kept chatting about their tactics and what could be done to improve their own plays.

The second half of the second game had just started when Jeongyeon grew more curious since
Nayeon had already taken four full sheets of notes. Even though they were talking about a number
of different things, Jeongyeon didn't get how it could have filled all those pages. She stretched her
neck a few times and squinted her eyes to try to read the pages laying around Nayeon's lap.

"If you want to know what I'm writing so badly you could come closer, you know? It's not like it's
some kind of secret."

There she was, smirking again. Jeongyeon was taken aback. "Come- come closer?"

"Yeah? It's just some notes, I'm going to hand everything over to Coach Bae tomorrow. She'll filter
the most important stuff and share with all of you during the pre-match briefing."

Jeongyeon didn't pay attention to a single word after the invitation. It was stupid, wasn't it?
Thinking too much about it. Sharing a couch was no big deal. Why did everything with Nayeon
seem so disproportionately overwhelming?

Get a fucking grip, Jeongyeon. React! She's staring at you.

"I- oh, yes, I wanna- I wanna take a look." She cleared her throat and stood up, doing her best to
avoid any kind of eye contact as she sat beside Nayeon. "Let's see if Bae is really teaching you
anything worth our while." She added, trying to ease up the mood- well, her own mood, at least.

She felt her body tensing up as she leaned over to take a closer look, but the next moment she was
caught by surprise by an unintentional laugh slipping off her lips.

"Good to know that your handwriting is still awful. No wonder I couldn't see anything from over
there." She said between giggles as she tried to decipher her ex-girlfriend's scribbles.

"I'm writing pretty fast, alright? I don't have the time to make it pretty." Nayeon frowned, casting
her an offended dirty look.

"Yeah, sure, but are you planning on translating before handing it over to the coach, right?"
 "Translating? Okay, go back to your seat. I won't stand for this kind of attitude." Nayeon scowled
deeper, crossing her arms and actually pouting.

"Okay, I may be overdoing it a bit. But you have to admit that your handwriting is not one of the
best."

"Do you wanna see it or not?" Nayeon grumpily replied.

"Fine, fine. But please tell me you're gonna make a clean copy later..."

"Jeongyeon!"

"Or you can type it out, maybe it'll be better than trying to re-write and coming up with a whole
new language."

And just like that all the tension was gone. After a few more minutes of pestering Nayeon,
Jeongyeon conceded and let her ex-girlfriend explain everything as they continued to watch the
game. Neither of them even noticed the way their sides were occasionally touching as they got
more and more comfortable on the couch.

Like the old times, still.

Chapter End Notes

i know you probably wanna know how nayeon and sana worked out their differences
but eventually we'll get one or maybe two chapters from nayeon's pov to clear it up

also, the name of the next chapter is "i'm going to kiss you now"
and no, this sentence isn't said during a flashback, so...
 i'm going to kiss you now
Chapter Summary

When Jeongyeon came out of her daze and finally managed to open her eyes, she
found Nayeon's worried ones staring right back at her. She saw her open and close her
mouth a few times as if she was trying to say something, but Jeongyeon didn't really
want to listen.

She didn't care about anything else. She had been in withdrawal for a whole year and
as far as she was concerned she might as well throw her sobriety chip in the trash right
then and there. Because now that she remembered how her ex-girlfriend's lips fit so
well with theirs, she didn't care about any sort of abstinence anymore. To hell with the
consequences.

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Jeongyeon was so freaking comfortable that at some point she felt like she might fall asleep. She
almost did, in fact, with her head hovering dangerously close to Nayeon's shoulder. The third match
had just started and they were growing more cozy around each other, but the moment was
disrupted by the sound of Nayeon's phone ringing obnoxiously loud. A plain "mom" popping up on
the screen of the device that had been long forgotten on the coffee table.

"Uh, sorry. I gotta take this. I'll be right back." Nayeon jumped to her feet and retreated to what
Jeongyeon assumed was her bedroom at the end of the hall. The younger girl didn't have any time
to react, but seeing that woman's "name" on Nayeon's phone stirred up some feelings she didn't
want to harbor again.

Jeongyeon was painfully aware that it was none of her business. Not even when they were still
together that was something that she should pry into, so it surely still wasn't now, let alone after all
this time.

However, looking back, almost every memory the goalkeeper had where Nayeon went from being
that bright and energetic girl that everyone knew and loved, to the vulnerable and upset version
which always used to break her heart, the reason behind it was more often than not her mother.
And thinking about it even after all these years still got Jeongyeon way angrier than she'd like to
admit.

Nayeon was "raised" by her father. Yeah, raised in quotes because he was hardly ever around. The
only person in that family who actually cared about Nayeon was her grandmother, who lived a few
towns away from their hometown. She had always done everything in her power to take good care
of her granddaughter, and Jeongyeon knew that deep down the older woman also felt guilty that her
own son had never been able to be the father Nayeon deserved.

Every time the three friends spent their summer breaks at Nayeon's grandmother's ranch, she
would invite her granddaughter to live with her. And even though she knew she meant it, Nayeon
would just laugh it off and say that her father needed her at home.
(Jeongyeon never actually told Nayeon that, but she and Jihyo secretly fought an internal battle for
years. That's because as much as they believed Nayeon would be better off with her grandma,
neither of them were ready to let go of their best friend's daily presence. So they stayed by her side
and always tried their best to be the family she deserved.)

Regardless, Mr. Im was a private busy man who despite having the best intentions was more often
than not distant and dismissive towards his only child. Utterly lost in his role after Nayeon's mother
left them when she was still a toddler.

Growing up, Nayeon's dad was pretty reluctant to tell her exactly why her mother left. As she got
older and more curious about the matter, her father would come up with frivolous and poorly made
excuses, but he was never once willing to come clean. All because he didn't want Nayeon to have a
poor image of her mother, the woman who despite leaving them still had the man wrapped around
her finger.

The truth which Nayeon only came to find out years later when the woman came back and made a
point of telling her everything in person, was that the former Mrs. Im had never really wanted to be
a mother. Or at least not when Nayeon was born.

Granted, that's not an easy thing to hear from the person who was supposed to love you more than
anything. So yeah, it certainly did a number on a still preteen Nayeon.

When Nayeon was born, all her mother wanted was to focus on her career, but she decided to grant
her husband a child after he prodded her for a long time hoping that it'd be enough to keep him busy
and happy within their marriage.

So she lied and assured Mr. Im that she was ready to take that step. She fooled him so thoroughly
that she almost fooled herself in the process, but after a couple of years she couldn't handle the
strain anymore. She left them without much thought, finally telling the truth and making Nayeon's
father feel responsible and guilty about everything.

And then a decade later she came back with the whole truth, coming clean to her daughter and
stating that she was sorry, changed, and, in her own words, ready to be a mother. Never minding
the effect it all had on Nayeon, who at the time was still a kid.

Despite all the bad feelings, Nayeon still tried to fix her relationship with her mother. She tried over
and over again, not only for herself but also for her father, who insisted that the two of them would
get along if Nayeon put in some effort.

However, in each one of those attempts she'd only hurt herself a little more to give two troublesome
adults what they thought she wanted instead of cherishing what their daughter really needed. It was
so hard to watch that Jeongyeon couldn't even fathom how much harder, how painful it was to
actually live through it.

Jeongyeon always hated to see Nayeon getting hurt like that, losing herself and being let down all
those times. Putting on a mask for family and pretending none of that was affecting her. But there
was nothing she could do but voice her feelings, hope for the best and be there to pick up the
pieces whenever Nayeon allowed her to help.

The worst part was that before they went off to college, Nayeon had finally had enough. She
decided that she wouldn't try anymore. Set her foot down and told her parents that she needed to
live her own life. Said that she didn't want any more contact with her mother for the time being and
that she hoped they both would understand and respect her choice, which apparently didn't happen.
So seeing her leave like that to take that call made Jeongyeon remember one of the most intense
and emotional moments she had ever shared with Nayeon. What led them to that point wasn't
exactly ideal, but it was still the first time Nayeon had told her that she loved her, so she kept it
close to her heart.

They were yet to start their senior year and were officially dating for a few months. It was late
afternoon and Jeongyeon went out to look for Nayeon on the beach even though she wasn't sure if
the older girl would be there. Jeongyeon hoped she would because Nayeon always used to go to the
same place whenever she was upset.

The first time Nayeon asked Jeongyeon to meet her there was when Nayeon and Jihyo had their
first big fight. Due to the goalkeeper's initial reluctance in accepting Nayeon into the group they
weren't exactly close friends at that time, but Jeongyeon still went out there to meet her. She
comforted her, helped Nayeon apologize, and just like that she and Jihyo made up as though
nothing had happened. So that day definitely helped to bring Nayeon and Jeongyeon closer
together. But that's also another matter, the memory in question was from years after that.

After that day, Jeongyeon always knew where to look for her every time Nayeon went missing:
right at the extreme end of the beach, where the sand met the rocks and the bigger waves would
always splash some salty water in the exact place Nayeon liked to hang out.

The sun was almost setting but it didn't quite touch the sea line yet. With her sneakers in each hand
and her backpack hanging from her shoulder, Jeongyeon walked over to the small figure whose
hair was flying with the wind.

Nayeon was staring at the waves and hugging her knees close to her chest. She wasn't even
surprised when Jeongyeon plopped on the sand and propped herself behind her. She let Nayeon
lean her back against her chest and heard the older girl release a weary sigh when Jeongyeon
wrapped her arms around her and pulled her even closer.

"Hi." Nayeon spoke up as she was trying to find the best way to rest her head between Jeongyeon's
neck and shoulder.

"Hey." She greeted, helping girlfriend on her mission to get more comfortable.

"I forgot my phone at home, I'm sorry." Nayeon thought she should clarify since she already knew
that her girlfriend had probably tried to reach her a few times before she came looking for her.

"It's okay. When you didn't show up at practice I had a feeling you would be here."

"Mhm, you know me too well."

"I know you better than anyone." Jeongyeon smiled and tilted her head to place a soft kiss on
Nayeon's temple. "And that's why I know you won't get better until you talk about what's bothering
you." She hugged her even tighter. "So I'm giving you two options: option one, we stay here until
the sun goes down and then I'll take you back to my place. You can take a shower so you can relax,
we'll watch something to kill some time and then I'll kiss you until your mouth starts to tingle. But
after that you gotta tell me what's the problem because you know you get restless and you probably
won't get a nice night of sleep if you're upset."

"What's option two?"

"You can tell me what the problem is right now and if I don't become a first-time offender after
taking it up with whoever got you all upset we can still do everything included in option one. The
kissing will happen anyway, this part is non-negotiable."

Nayeon's giggle warmed Jeongyeon's heart and she was content to know that she was the reason
behind it. Then Nayeon went silent for a moment, sighed sadly as she contemplated her options.
Her grip on her girlfriend's hands got tighter as she chose to go with the second one.

"You won't get the chance to become a first-time offender today because she's not in the country.
Nor will she be anytime soon." The bitterness in Nayeon's voice made Jeongyeon's stomach drop.

She didn't need to say anything else for her to know exactly what she was talking about. O better
yet, who. That woman was usually the source of most of Nayeon's problems, all that was left to
know was the newest reason this time.

"What did she do now??" She did her best to keep her anger in check but it didn't work so well.

"I don't even know why I'm mad, Jeong. I shouldn't be. I didn't even want to see her, I don't know
why it's bothering me so much."

"Because she's your mother, babe. Her actions reflect on you."

"I know but- ugh, actually I don't. I don't know how to explain."

"So she's not coming anymore?"

"No, she is not."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You know better than anyone that I didn't want to spend the holidays with her but she
insisted. I ended up telling my dad that he should go to my grandparents' without me because I
didn't want him to see her again..."

"Wait, he didn't know she was coming to get you?"

"No." Nayeon shook her head. "I didn't tell him. I just said I had an important game so I couldn't go
with him. It's only three days, anyways, so he didn't mind leaving me home alone. And otherwise I
wouldn't care either, but-"

"She broke your trust again." Jeongyeon took a deep breath to try to keep her loathing at bay once
again.

"I don't think there was any more trust for her to break, but the anticipation..." She trailed off.

"I hate that she keeps doing this to you."

"And I keep letting her."

"No, Nayeon, that's not your fault. You're not the grown responsible adult in this setting, she is. A
grown woman, I mean. Responsible? Well, that's another kettle of fish. But she's the person who
chooses to let you down every time, and anyone who has the nerve to do that to you is-" She cut
her sentence short when she realized that her next words wouldn't be exactly gracious. "Shit, sorry.
I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't talk about your mother like that. It's just that- fuck, it... it bothers me.
It kills me to see you down like that when I can't do anything about it."

Nayeon untangled herself from Jeongyeon's arms and turned around, now kneeling between her
legs and facing her girlfriend. Jeongyeon hadn't had a chance to really look at Nayeon's face since
she had got there, but now she could see just how broken and devastated she really was. Dry tears
staining her cheeks and the saddest eyes she had ever seen her sporting in a really long time.

"I don't like her, Jeongyeon." It came out like a sob. "I- I can't bring myself to hate her, but I don't
like her either."

"I know, you don't have to like her just because she's related to you."

"But what if-" She looked at Jeongyeon as if she was about to burst into tears. "Can I tell you
something?" Her voice was shaking now and facing that pained look, Jeongyeon could do nothing
but nod. "I'm afraid to be like her."

Jeongyeon was rendered speechless. It didn't make any sense.

She almost told Nayeon that much, almost said she was being unreasonable. She wished she could
say there was no real reason for Nayeon to worry about it because she'd never be anything like her
mother, but Jeongyeon didn't want to invalidate her girlfriend's feelings like that. Even if she didn't
understand where that was coming from, it'd still be insensitive to just say it thoughtlessly and
make her feel crazy or unseen because of that. No, she couldn't. She'd never do that to Nayeon.

"Nayeonie-" Jeongyeon reached out to tuck the loose locks behind her girlfriend's ears. Had a
whole speech on the tip of her tongue.

"My dad always says I'm just like her." Nayeon added before she could continue. Made a face as
the next words left her mouth. "He also says I look like her. Physically, I mean. And I hate that."

"That's perfectly normal, it's not like you can change that." Jeongyeon propped her elbows on her
knees and traced Nayeon's jaw with her fingertips. She had an 'and you shouldn't even if you could'
on the tip of her tongue. She wished she could remind her how beautiful she was, but it didn't seem
fitting for that moment so kept it to herself.

"But sometimes I think maybe that's why he's always so distant. Maybe I remind him too much of
what he's lost."

"It's his loss, you know?" Jeongyeon held Nayeon's hands between hers and placed a kiss on each
one. "I know it hurts, but he's the one who's missing out. I pity him because he's the one who
doesn't get to know how amazing you are."

"He's always... always saying things like-" Jeongyeon could see she was trying but it was hard to
talk about it. "He says that I really am my mother's daughter, whatever that means. Says that I talk
like her too, which doesn't make any sense by the way. But it's always worse when he's mad."
Nayeon let out a wet chuckle, fixing her gaze on their intertwined hands as she kept going. "You're
exactly like your mother. I should've known better, it's always like that with you."

She didn't need to change her tone for Jeongyeon to know that she was quoting her father's words.
But dammit, now Jeongyeon had two stupid grown ups to murder.

"I know he doesn't mean to hurt me- or well, at least not when he thinks he's complimenting me.
But I think he knows a different version of her, a version he likes and is still trying to hold on to. So
lately he doesn't go a day without talking about her or mentioning how similar we are because he
insists on trying to get us to have some kind of connection. Because he can't let her go so he doesn't
want me to let her go either."

At that point Jeongyeon was struggling not to let her own tears fall, she needed to be strong for
Nayeon so she just nodded for her to continue. Let it all out.
"But I want to let her go, Jeong. I want her out of my life. There's nothing I want more than to break
all sorts of bonds I still might have with her so I can't stop living like I'm some other version of her.
Both to my father and to myself as well. Because the way I see it, as long as I let her in my life,
coming and going as she pleases, I won't be able to move on. And if I don't, I will continue to be
this... broken person. Someone damaged, just like her. And eventually will be a bad person, a bad
wife, a bad mother. All of that, everything that she is."

"But you are not her, Nayeon. You're not even like her in the slightest." Jeongyeon didn't hesitate
once Nayeon was finished. "You're not broken or damaged, you're just a person. And the fact that
you acknowledge that she's a bad person alone already makes you a better person than she'll ever
be."

Nayeon shook her head. "No, that's not enough."

"You're right. That's not enough, but it's a start." Jeongyeon pursued her gaze even as Nayeon tried
to look away. "Hey, I'm not gonna tell you that you should live your life doing the exact opposite of
what she'd do because you shouldn't use her as any kind of reference. The bar would be set too low
and you're much better than that. But you already know what not to do, you get me? You'd never
put someone else through everything she put you and your dad through."

Jeongyeon let go of one of her hands and gently held Nayeon's jaw so she could look into her eyes.

"You're going to be a great wife and an amazing mom because you're already a wonderful person.
That much I'm sure." Jeongyeon placed another kiss on the back of Nayeon's hand without
breaking eye contact. "And if by any chance I happen to be the lucky person who'll get to do all of
this with you, I promise I'll work hard to keep you in line."

She dropped the last sentence in a somewhat light-hearted tone trying to ease the weight of those
words. They had only been dating for a couple of months and Jeongyeon didn't want Nayeon to
think it was weird that she was already thinking about a distant future where they could actually
start a family together.

Nayeon didn't say anything for a few seconds. Jeongyeon watched Nayeon staring at her with a
riddled look on her face and could practically hear the wheels turning inside her head. She wanted
to reach out and wipe the tears out of Nayeon's cheeks, but their hands were intertwined again and
Jeongyeon didn't want to break the contact since Nayeon's grip was even tighter now.

Just when she felt said grip easing up and started to think that she might have talked too much,
Nayeon's hands drifted to cup her face and her lips were suddenly attached to hers. She leaned over
and kissed her with such passion that it sent Jeongyeon down until her back hit the sand, taking her
girlfriend along with her so they wouldn't break the kiss.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Nayeon whispered against Jeongyeon's chest when they
were inside the bus on their way back.

"Then it's a good thing you'll never have to find out." Jeongyeon answered with her girlfriend
perfectly tucked into her arms while she was watching the world passing through the window.

Jeongyeon made good on her promise and took her to her house. She told her parents that Nayeon
would spend the holidays with them and her family was happy to have her because everyone in that
household loved Nayeon. They always treated her like she was part of the family even before they
started dating, just like Jihyo.

Jeongyeon's dad made them dinner while the family was sitting in the living room watching TV.
Mrs. Yoo was telling Nayeon about how much she missed Seungyeon, who was currently
attending college in Busan. Jeongyeon, on the other hand, was too busy fighting over the TV
remote - or anything else, really - with her younger sister, but Nayeon didn't mind. She liked to
watch their dynamic. She was feeling more comfortable there than she'd ever feel in her own home
and she knew that the reason behind it wasn't just the girl she loved.

The girl she... loved? Oh.

That's when Nayeon realized.

And being who she was, she felt the urge to tell it soon.

Later that night, after everyone had retired to their respective bedrooms, Jeongyeon finally got to
deliver all the kisses she had promised Nayeon. The couple were cuddled up on the couch,
enjoying the rest of the time they had together before they had to split up to go to bed. Yes, split up
because Jeongyeon's parents had rules, so Nayeon would sleep in her girlfriend's room while
Jeongyeon would be spending the night at Seungyeon's currently vacant one.

Jeongyeon was barely able to keep her eyes open. She wouldn't mind sleeping right there if she
didn't know that her back would be sore for a week. Still, she dozed off a little on Nayeon's chest,
lying on top of her while the older girl caressed her hair as they were watching TV.

"Jeong?"

"What? I'm awake, just resting my eyes." She drawled and Nayeon giggled, making their bodies
shake a bit.

"I want it." She whispered and Jeongyeon opened her eyes not quite understanding what she meant.
She rested her chin on Nayeon's chest and looked up at her.

"Mhm? What do you want?" She hummed in response. Sleep was still taking the best of her.

"A family like yours." Nayeon eyes bored into hers. Full of affection.

"They're your family too." Just like that she was awake. Jeongyeon replied without a second
thought.

"I mean in the future. I want... a house full of love and people who actually care about each other,
like here. I want that."

And you deserve that, Jeongyeon thought, I can give it to you if you let me.

"And I want that with you." Nayeon quietly added before Jeongyeon could put her thoughts out
there. "Because I love you."

And it was right there, at that very moment. That's when Jeongyeon knew it too.

Her heart clenched and her stomach dropped with that memory. She quickly wiped her eyes when
she realized that the hushed conversation in the next room had come to an end. Then a minute later
Nayeon walked out of the room with a weak smile that didn't fit her at all.

If it was anybody else they probably wouldn't have noticed, but Jeongyeon could see right through
her and she knew it was just a facade. Nayeon would always get overwhelmed whenever she talked
to that woman and Jeongyeon suddenly felt as if they were in high school all over again. She felt
powerless, but this time she was also resisting the urge to walk up to her and hug the pain away.
"Sorry about that. I completely forgot that she was supposed to call."

"It's fine, don't worry."

"Well, I think we've seen enough for today. I've taken a lot of notes and it's getting late so-"

"Uh, I'm kind of hungry. How about we eat something?" Jeongyeon asked before Nayeon could
finish her sentence.

She knew what Nayeon was trying to do, Jeongyeon was more than familiar with it. Every time
Nayeon would get upset - especially if it's about something related to her mother - she'd always try
to withdraw and be alone so no one could see how much it affected her.

The both of them were pretty similar in that department, maybe that's why they always understood
each other so well. But this time Jeongyeon had absolutely no intention of leaving Nayeon on her
own.

"I-" She was definitely caught by surprise. Although she was looking quite upset a minute ago, her
face lightened upon hearing that offer. "Yeah, sure. Should I order us some pizza or do you wanna
go out to grab something?"

"Option three, I could cook something for us."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to." Jeongyeon wouldn't say that she only wanted to do it because she knew that home
cooked food - and especially her home cooked food - always cheered Nayeon up, but that's exactly
the reason why. "You've got a kitchen like this and still have the nerve to offer me pizza?" She
walked over to the next room.

"You know I'm not a great cook." Nayeon trailed behind her.

"Yeah, I know. But it looks like this stove has never been used." Jeongyeon seized the opportunity
to evaluate the items more closely since she hadn't gotten anywhere near kichen before.

"Or a cook at all..." She bashfully admitted. "I haven't and I doubt my dad ever has."

"Are you serious?" Jeongyeon looked at Nayeon as if she had said she kicked her puppy. Nayeon
just shrugged and nodded. "Okay, that's it. Let's make a debut for your kitchen."

"I don't think I have anything we can use here." Nayeon opened the cabinets to check and found
nothing but a couple of cans and cookies.

"Which means that you must be eating only processed junk food for who knows how long."
Jeongyeon grumbled disapprovingly. Her head almost hurt when she remembered just how bad
Nayeon's eating habits could become whenever her father was traveling for business and she'd give
the housekeeper some days off so she could stay home alone.

"In my defense, I've been having lunch with you guys at the cafeteria every day."

"That's not nearly good enough." Jeongyeon left the kitchen with Nayeon trailing closely behind
her, curious to what she'd do next. The goalkeeper put on her shoes and reached for the door. "I'm
going to the convenience store down the street. You coming?"

"Sure." Nayeon double-checked to make sure that her keys and wallet were with her before
grabbing a coat from the rack next to the door and following Jeongyeon out of the apartment.

They chatted all the way to the store about the games they had watched earlier and about the
presumed bet between the Bae-Kang couple. Eventually the conversation evolved into more trivial
topics such as some other teammates' gossip and their expectations for the weekend's friendly. As
well as their thoughts for the start of the season that was getting closer and closer by the day.

Jeongyeon picked out a few items while Nayeon pushed the cart around behind her and then the
intern paid for everything with the black card her father had given her when she was still in
elementary school. But not before she sorted out a huge amount of candy and sweets that prompted
Jeongyeon to roll her eyes because of course Nayeon would always do that.

Back at the apartment Jeongyeon took her rightful place in the kitchen while Nayeon stayed close
enough, but also kept a safe distance. Not too close to disturb Jeongyeon in her natural habitat, but
also not too far so she'd be on standby in case the cook needed any help.

Whenever Jeongyeon cooked with her father or with Momo, for instance, people who also knew
how to cook, the setting was pretty different. They always found a way to get the job done
together. But whenever Nayeon tried to help with her undeniable chaotic energy and her innate
potential to distract Jeongyeon, the result was either something burning or fingers being almost
chopped off.

Over time, after years of being Jeongyeon's kind of cooking partner, Nayeon learned that the best
way to help her girlfrie- oh well, ex-girlfriend now, was to stay close by, do the dishes, check some
pots and pans only when asked, and provide some back hugs - always with prior notice! and no
neck kissing!!! - whenever she knew Jeongyeon would take a while longer at some particular task
such as vegetable chopping, which was exactly what she was doing right now. The last option was
now out of the table, but she faithfully followed the others.

It was domestic. It was comfortable. Way too nice to be true. Jeongyeon almost forgot that they
were just ex-girlfriends with a lot of unresolved issues and secrets being kept from both sides.

For a quick deceiving moment it felt like the plans they had made together all those years ago had
finally come true. One second Jeongyeon's heart was doing somersaults inside her chest but then
the very next moment she was cursing herself for how easy it was to forget about her real life when
she was with Nayeon like that. Just the two of them.

Ah, if she only knew how that night was going to end…

"That's the best thing I've ever eaten." They said at the same time just as Nayeon took the first
piece of food into her mouth. Nayeon's tone was normal and somewhat sincere, but Jeongyeon's
was laced with teasing that went perfectly well with the grin she had on her face.

"Hey!" Nayeon frowned. "How'd you know I was gonna say that?"

"That's literally the same thing you say every single time." Jeongyeon taunted.

They were now sitting on the living room carpet while the food was served on the coffee table.
Nayeon just rolled her eyes because she knew it was true. It was basically Nayeon's instinctual
response whenever Jeongyeon cooked something for her.

Yet again, comfortable and familiar.

"Whatever. Now that you've seen me take the first bite you can start eating too, you weirdo."
Nayeon nodded at Jeongyeon's untouched food.
Jeongyeon's cheeks heated up but she tried to ignore it. She had this habit of watching people get a
first taste of everything she cooked. It wasn't just with Nayeon, she wanted to argue, but it was
better with her, so she didn't say anything. Anyway, Nayeon knew it and she never once stopped
teasing Jeongyeon about it.

They ate in silence while another match was being broadcast on the screen, Coach Kang's calls
slash yells at her players were serving as background noise for their meal. They left their plates on
the coffee table once they were finished and sat down side by side with their backs against the
couch.

Once again it was so cozy that it almost felt wrong. Not in a thousand years would she have
imagined that she would ever feel this comfortable with her again. Nayeon's arm was brushing
against hers and she was sure that the older girl's head was almost pressed against her shoulder as
Nayeon's hands fiddled with each other over her own lap. They looked so warm and inviting that
Jeongyeon had to keep herself from giving in to the urge to reach them, hold in between hers and
maybe place a kiss or two. Instead, she did her best to keep her eyes on the TV. That is, until she
remembered something.

"Nayeon?" She called after a while.

"Mhm?" A sleepy voice dragged out in response.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Jeongyeon could feel Nayeon's body stiffen next to her. She sat up straight, hugged her knees and
took a few seconds to answer.

"About what?" All traces of drowsiness were now gone.

"The call." Was Nayeon just trying to wind her up or was there something else behind that
question? Either way, Jeongyeon chose to cut to the chase.

"Oh." Nayeon flinched. "It's not a big deal."

"I don't want you to have nightmares." That's all Jeongyeon could say. She hoped it was enough for
the older girl to understand what she couldn't bring herself to say out loud.

"She just called to check how I was doing." Nayeon sighed. "She's been doing that a lot lately."

"Right..."

"I know you don't like her. I still don't like her either, but I can't simply not answer her calls
anymore."

"Except that you can, Nayeon. She has no claim on you whatsoever."

"Jeong..."

"You were doing so well!" Jeongyeon turned to her side. She stretched her right arm over the
couch, right behind Nayeon's back so she could face her. "Before we came to Yonsei you had
managed to cut her off. You stopped letting her hurt you with all those stupid excuses and empty
promises."

"I can't do that now."

"If you did it once, you can do it again."

"It's more complicated than that."

"It really isn't. She only has power over you if you let her."

"You- no. Let it go, you don't get it."

"Then help me understand!"

Jeongyeon slightly raised her voice but this time it was different from the way she did it on the
rooftop all those nights ago. She didn't yell, it wasn't an attempt to push or press her. It was just the
frustration getting the best of her with a hint of despair for seeing Nayeon falling into the same
cycle that had once pained her so badly. Regardless, she regretted it as soon as it happened. Nayeon
slowly turned around and cast her a look that Jeongyeon couldn't quite read.

"Fuck, sorry." Jeongyeon looked away. "I'm sorry, I know it's not- I mean, I'm not supposed to. But
I just... I just hate it, Nayeon." She breathed, finally blurting it out. "I hate the fact that she has
this… hold on you. I hated all those times she could see you, spend time with you, and yet she
chose not to. I hate that she doesn't know how- dammit," She gulped. "How she doesn't really
know the real you. Hate it that all she does is make you feel bad and let you down. So yes, that's it,
I hate her too." Then she actually chuckled, shaking her head. "I hate her and I don't feel the
slightest bit bad about it."

Jeongyeon put it all out in one fell swoop. Said things she hadn't said even when they were still
dating. Feeling unable to look at her eyes after lashing out like that, she stared at the carpet
underneath them. Never minding how suffocating the silence felt.

"Jeongyeon?" Nayeon's soft voice called out to her like a coo, but she didn't have the heart to
answer, let alone look. But a gentle hand touched her face, cupped her cheek, tilting her head up
until she came face to face with the most beautiful brown orbs she had ever seen. "I'm going to kiss
you now."

Nayeon whispered and then she spared Jeongyeon a few seconds to say something. For her to back
away, say no or stop her somehow. But Jeongyeon couldn't - didn't want to - do absolutely anything
to stop it from happening. She just nodded weakly and the next second Nayeon's lips found their
way over hers.

It was chaste at the beginning, no more than a pressing of lips together, but still Jeongyeon was
sure that she'd combust at any given moment. The husky surprised noise - maybe a groan? - she
heard escaping from the back of Nayeon's throat made her realize that the older girl maybe felt the
same way.

But in a matter of seconds Nayeon pulled away wide-eyed as if she had just realized what she had
done. Not that Jeongyeon saw it, of course, because even after Nayeon had backed away, the
younger girl kept still. Eyes closed, heightened senses and the feeling of the ghost of Nayeon's lips
over hers.

When Jeongyeon came out of her daze and finally managed to open her eyes, she found Nayeon's
worried ones staring right back at her. She saw her open and close her mouth a few times as if she
was trying to say something, but Jeongyeon didn't really want to listen.

She didn't care about anything else. She had been in withdrawal for a whole year and as far as she
was concerned she might as well throw her sobriety chip in the trash right then and there. Because
now that she remembered how her ex-girlfriend's lips fit so well with theirs, she didn't care about
any sort of abstinence anymore. To hell with the consequences.

Before Nayeon could say anything, Jeongyeon sloppily held her jaw and brought her back for
another kiss.

Different from the first one, there was not a bit of hesitation this time. Jeongyeon kisses Nayeon
with reckless abandon. Lips, tongues and teeth meeting in a heated emotional hurricane. It was wet
and a little clumsy but God, was it good. Jeongyeon felt so many things at once that she couldn't
think of anything but the way Nayeon's tongue explored her mouth as if she was trying to make up
for all the lost time.

By the time Jeongyeon realized her hands had already found their way to Nayeon's waist, guiding
her up and then down until she was straddling her. She held Nayeon impossibly close as the older
girl placed one of her hands behind Jeongyeon's neck while the other one gripped at her hair.

Nayeon tenderly caressed the skin below her ear and she felt her body tremble when Jeongyeon
traced her bottom lip with her tongue before nibbling the very same place. In return, Nayeon kissed
her back with an overwhelming precision and a control that she didn't know she had.

It was almost like riding a bicycle, she'd never forget the details Jeongyeon liked. Except that the
bicycle in hand had just trailed one of her hands up and painfully slowly over her back and was
now stroking the back of her neck in a way that made every inch of Nayeon's body shiver.

Willing to show that two could play this game, Nayeon pushed Jeongyeon's torso until she was
leaning all the way back against the couch without breaking the kiss. Then, with no further notice
but with a lip bite that should probably tell Jeongyeon to brace herself, Nayeon pressed into
Jeongyeon's hips, grinding down and holding her hostage in the space between the carpet and the
couch, eliciting an involuntary groan out of the younger girl. Even with her eyes closed she couldn't
help but feel them almost rolling to the back of her head with that feeling.

Right at that moment, she was mad at herself for not being able to resist Nayeon. She was angry at
Nayeon for hiding the things she thought she had the right to know. Heck, she was even furious
with all her friends for not being there to stop her from doing something so stupid. But above all of
that, she was so fucking turned on that she didn't give a damn about any of those others things at
all.

She was sure that she'd let Nayeon break her heart as many times as she pleased if that meant that
she'd also give Jeongyeon the relief she was so desperately needing right now.

But Nayeon seemed to have other plans when she abruptly pulled away once again. It was rougher
than the last time and so sudden that Jeongyeon still pursued Nayeon's lips in search of the warmth
she had missed for so long.

"Fuck." Nayeon gasped and held Jeongyeon's shoulders to keep herself balanced. "Damn it, Jeong,
I-" She panted and stammered, frustrated in more ways than one. Closed her eyes and rested her
forehead against Jeongyeon's. Both of them were breathing heavily while she was trying to form a
coherent sentence.

Jeongyeon took one of Nayeon's hands between her own and placed it on her chest, breathing in
and out slowly to regulate her own breathing. It was a practice she previously used with Nayeon
during difficult times, but it also seemed appropriate for that moment. The older girl picked up and
tried hard to copy Jeongyeon's breathing until she calmed herself down enough to speak again.
 "I'm sorry?"

Was that a statement? It sounded like a question. And if it was, why on earth was Nayeon
apologizing for this time? For kissing Jeongyeon? For stopping? Or was it something deeper than
that?

She really couldn't tell.

"What are you sorry about?" She whispered as her lips hovered above Nayeon's.

Nayeon opened her eyes and pulled away a little so that she could take a closer look at Jeongyeon.
Her short hair was messy and yet falling perfectly over her shoulders, giving her a sight that
Nayeon could only classify as ethereal at least. Her gaze fixed her, overflowing with a mix of
desire but also concern. And finally, her lips were glowing, pinkish, slightly ajar and so fucking
inviting that it felt rude to leave them just hanging there. Untouched.

Honestly, Nayeon's only thought was that she had no fucking business looking this fine. It was
downright unfair.

So yes, it was her fault. It was all Jeongyeon's fault this time. She definitely had it coming.

Instead of replying, Nayeon felt compelled to kiss her again. Softly and chastely this time, leading
to what felt like an eternity of delightful long and lazy kisses.

And even though Jeongyeon still had a million questions to say the least, she didn't dare object or
much less interrupt that moment with her stupid thoughts. She just kissed Nayeon for the rest of the
night as if the whole world had vanished around that little bubble they had built.

Anything else could wait.

Chapter End Notes

...finally?
 wednesday after practice
Chapter Summary

There were too many lies, too many omissions, too many setbacks. Problems, troubles,
and fuck- maybe too much love, a little voice she tried to ignore still rang out in the
back of her mind. But not the right kind, she always argued back.

Jeongyeon had already hurt herself too much to pretend that this situation wasn't just a
temporary solution. Maybe a farewell or a parting gift since they never had a proper
ending the first time around.

All she knew was that she was holding way too many things deep inside her.
Everything that could fit in between love and resentment, and she was sure that once
she put it all out there Nayeon would never look at her the same way again. Never. But
maybe it's the exact same scenario on the other side, maybe the hidden secrets Nayeon
was keeping from her were all that was needed to break whatever bond they might still
have.

Chapter Notes

don't we all hate the so called morning after? usually i do, but not this time

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"So you're telling me that you hooked up with Nayeon last night?"

"Would you please keep your voice down?" Jeongyeon scolded Sana and glanced at both sides to
make sure no one was listening. "Well, we just... made out a little bit."

"A little bit?" Mina was bewildered. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just made out??" Sana also hissed. "Like smooching your ex it's not a big deal?"

"It just happened..." Jeongyeon shrugged.

"You went out on a date with her yet you have the nerve to say that you kissed like it was an
accident or something?" Mina kept going in a somewhat incredulous tone.

"It wasn't a date!"

"You hung out, watched something you both like, cooked and then ate together." Mina counted on
her fingers with a smirk on her face.

"And then they hooked up at the end." Sana quipped and raised a fifth finger. A thumbs down.

"Sounds like a date to me, Sana."

"And you're right as usual, Mina."

"Fuck off." Jeongyeon gave up trying to reason with those two. She laid her head down on the desk
and let out a long sigh.

Since when did Sana and Mina have the right to team up against her?

The day after the whole thing went down with Nayeon, Jeongyeon decided that she needed to talk
about it with someone. She felt like she'd drive herself mad if she didn't, so she confided in the first
friends she had come in contact with: Sana and Mina, who were taking a class with her that
morning.

Big mistake, she only later came to realize. She slipped it all out for two people who didn't help at
all. Or well, at least they didn't say anything she wanted to hear.

"All jokes aside, there's nothing wrong if you wanted to be on a date with her, you know?" Mina
caressed Jeongyeon's hair while she was still hiding her face between her arms.

"She broke up with me." Her voice came out muffled.

"So what? Everyone knows she still likes you. You can like her back." Sana mumbled and it
immediately got Jeongyeon to snap her head back up.

"Are you... defending... Nayeon?" Jeongyeon inquired, shock as clear as day on her features.

"I'm not defending her, I'm exposing her. It's different." Sana rolled her eyes at her.

"You said I can like her back." Jeongyeon repeated as if she still couldn't believe those words
actually came out of Sana's mouth.

"Well, it's not like you can choose when to stop liking someone." Sana shrugged and looked away
while Jeongyeon dumbfoundedly stared at her.

"You're hearing it too, right?" Jeongyeon turned around to ask Mina, who was sitting by her other
side. "Or am I having a fever dream?"

"I think she's right." Mina also shrugged, avoiding her eyes as well. Jeongyeon felt like maybe she
had already gone mad.

What the hell was going on? Where was the loyal #TeamJeongyeon she had a few days ago?

"Okay, I'd better talk to Momo. She'll have a lot more sense than you guys."

"What did Jihyo say?" Mina asked and Jeongyeon winced.

Jihyo was... a touchy topic right now.

"I haven't talked to her yet."

"Really? I thought she'd be the first to know." Sana was taken aback.

The truth was that Jeongyeon wished she could go running to Jihyo as soon as it happened. She
wanted to hear the advice she'd have on tip of her tongue and accept the support her best friend
would surely be willing to give. But somehow, talking to Jihyo about it would make the entire
situation more real. It was as if the moment Jihyo knew it was the deadline for Jeongyeon to do
something about it, and she definitely wasn't ready for that yet.
"I- I don't think I'll mention anything to her for now."

Sana and Mina exchanged a look and Jeongyeon felt like she was interrupting the wordless
conversation they were having.

"Why?" Mina took it upon her to ask.

"Jihyo... she- she always gets too invested. I don't even know how I'm supposed to talk to Nayeon
after this so I can't..." She started to trail off but recovered soon enough. "Just- not yet."

"She's your best friend, she won't judge you." Sana argued.

"I'm not afraid she'll judge me, I just don't want her to get dragged into this mess again. It was hard
enough the last time, she doesn't deserve to go through all of that again."

"Are you sure you're doing it for her?" Okay. Mina hit a nerve.

"Listen, I need you guys to keep it a secret for now. At least until I figure this out. Please."

"Jeongyeon..." Sana was ready to put up a fight but Mina cut in.

"We won't say anything. We promise." She swore for both of them, casting another weird glance at
Sana. "It's her choice, Sana. She trusted us with this and we have to trust that she'll tell Jihyo when
she's ready."

Seriously, how did Jeongyeon live before she had Mina in her life?

"Alright." Sana relented. "But don't keep it all to yourself, okay? You don't have to talk to Jihyo or
even us if you don't want to, but you have to talk about it with someone." She added, gently patting
Jeongyeon's back.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." She nodded for reassurance, really hoping it was true. But Jeongyeon
had no idea what to do next because she and Nayeon hadn't talked about what happened.

When Momo called worried about Jeongyeon going MIA almost at midnight, the goalkeeper went
back to her place after saying goodbye with more lingering kisses and coy smiles that for sure
would make Jihyo gag at them if she was there. Nayeon even sent her a goodnight text after
Jeongyeon let her know that she had made it home safely, as she had promised to do before she
left.

And that's it, that's all. It was weird, but good. Too good to be true, but it was also driving her crazy
in more ways than one.

Jeongyeon could hardly sleep all night, feeling both stupidly foolish and fucking lively at the same
time. Thinking about how it took barely two months for her to completely give in to the same
person who had once hurt her so badly in the past. And also how she was certainly willing to give
her a lot more than just a few kisses if her ex-girlfriend hadn't stopped them when she did.

Fuck, Jeongyeon, where's your goddamn self respect?

Probably lost all over the floor of Nayeon's living room with the rest of her dignity.

Even though she didn't regret what happened, she was scared about the ramifications that all that
kissing could entail. She and Nayeon had come a long way to toss all their progress away because
of a single night of inconsequential actions. And Jeongyeon still had several questions that for
some reason she already knew Nayeon wasn't ready to provide the answers to.

To hell with the consequences, right? That's what she told herself the night before? Yeah, it was
more like let future Jeongyeon deal with the hell of the consequences, actually.

What if Nayeon thought it was a sign that things were now settled or that it meant that they were
together again? Or worse, what if Nayeon happened to think that the whole thing had been a huge
mistake and everything got awkward between the two of them again?

So many fucking questions and the worst part was that Jeongyeon still didn't know how she felt
about it.

She really liked being with Nayeon again, there was no denying it. When Jeongyeon finally
managed to fall asleep that night she dreamed of Nayeon's soft lips on her skin and the sounds her
ex-girlfriend made every time Jeongyeon let her hands probe a little too dangerously under her
shirt.

It was intoxicating, indeed, but that couldn't be all. They still had a lot of things to talk about before
they settled whatever might or might not happen between them. That is, if they even stood a
chance.

A little voice in the back of her head kept saying that perhaps the damage had been beyond repair
by now. That their time had passed, no matter how much she might wish otherwise.

After class, Sana and Mina walked with her to the cafeteria. Jeongyeon was a nervous wreck, her
hands sweating more with every step she took.

That would be the moment of truth. Nayeon would be there, after all. Shit, Jihyo would be there
too, and she would definitely notice if there was any awkwardness between them.

Shit, and what if Nayeon had already brought it up to Jihyo and their best friend was already pissed
about it? Or what if Nayeon had already made up her mind about the whole thing? What if they
fight and end up back at square one?

No, Jeongyeon, no! Shut up and chill out. You're overthinking it again. She tried not to worry so
much but it was easier said than done.

All she had to do was call Nayeon over for a chat and be honest for a change. She was gonna say
that she still wasn't sure how to take in everything that happened the night before and that she
wasn't ready to take a further step in whatever was going on between them. She was gonna suggest
that it'd be best if they put it behind them so they could at least get back to that pseudo-friendship
or whatever it was and- oh boy, was Nayeon always this pretty?

As soon as they approached their usual table, Jeongyeon's eyes intuitively landed on Nayeon.
Momo, Dahyun and Jihyo were also there, but Nayeon was all she could see at first. Yes, it was
true that she always looked good, it wasn't uncommon, but everything seemed to be working
together to make things harder for Jeongyeon today.

Nayeon was gesticulating wildly while telling a story, the way she always did when she was highly
invested in whatever she was saying. She looked pretty excited and engaged but as soon as she
spotted Jeongyeon, she paused mid-sentence and flashed her a smile. It was only a matter of
seconds because while the younger girl couldn't help but wave back with a silly grin on her face,
Nayeon was already back to her tale telling. Then Jeongyeon felt a nudge to her ribs that snapped
her out of the moment.
Okay dude, the wave was way too much. Get a fuckin' grip, will ya? She wasn't sure if the scolding
came from her own conscience or from Sana, but she tried to play it cool.

"Hey, we've been waiting for you." Jihyo also looked excited as soon as they finally reached the
table. Only then Jeongyeon noticed the other three girls, all of them seemed quite interested in the
matter Nayeon was currently hosting.

"You- you were?" Jeongyeon was taken aback.

"Yeah! Nayeon was just telling us about..." She lowered her voice and leaned closer. "You know
what!" Jihyo grinned broadly and Jeongyeon felt the air being drain from her lungs.

"She- she was?" She was??? Jeongyeon tried not to freak out.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like a fucking stutterer parrot?" Jihyo frowned.

"Sorry." She gulped and took her backpack off her shoulder. Felt her knees weak so she sat down
trying not to look at Nayeon.

"You okay? You look like you've seen a ghost." Momo asked from across the table.

Okay? How the hell could she be okay when Nayeon went behind her back and made whatever
happened between them a public matter without talking to her first? Now everyone was going to
have an opinion about it and Jeongyeon would probably come out as the villain when she had to
explain to everyone that she thought the whole thing was too rushed.

Yeah, like it wasn't hard enough trying to make sense of it all with just Nayeon, why on earth
would she involve the rest of the group?

"I'm fine." She lied and finally glanced at Nayeon. Couldn't help but feel a little hurt. Betrayed,
even. "So you told them?"

"I'm sorry." Nayeon shrugged. "I know I made you promise to keep it a secret but I couldn't help it.
I guess it's cool if they're the only ones who know about it too."

"I mean, we didn't actually got a chance to-"

"Can you believe Coach Bae was capable of doing such a thing??" Momo resumed the previous
discussion with remarkable enthusiasm.

Wait, what?

"She literally betrayed her wife's trust. I don't know how you all even think that's cool." Dahyun
sounded a bit grumpy. Pout on her face and all.

"Wait, what the fuck? Bae cheated???" A wide-eyed Sana sat on the edge of her seat, earning a
smack in the arm from Nayeon.

"Keep your voice down!" Jihyo hissed.

"Gee, sorry." She apologized, rubbing her now sore arm.

"And no, she didn't! Dahyun is overreacting." Nayeon stepped back in, promptly defending her
coach and mentor.

"Did she cheat or not?? This isn't a fucking Friends episode, Chandler, spit it out." Sana grumbled,
now actually minding her tone.

"Hold on, hold on." Jeongyeon cut in. "You told them about," Then she lowered her voice after
glancing to both sides to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "The Bae-Kang thing?"

"Yeah?" Nayeon frowned and matched her tone, leaning closer. "What else would I be talking
about?"

"Oh. Nevermind." Jeongyeon whispered back, feeling stupid. And relieved as well, but mostly
stupid. Nayeon, on the other hand, seemed unfazed.

"Can someone please explain what the hell is going on?" Sana impatiently urged again and Nayeon
replayed the whole story for both Sana and Mina, who still didn't know what happened.

"And then Jeongyeon and I watched the videos she got-"

"Stole." Dahyun murmured under her breath.

"-yesterday. It was pretty useful, I think. Coach Kang is very... umm, vocal, I'd say. I took notes
and I'll be handing everything over to Coach Bae later."

"I think this only adds more pressure to our team. If we end up losing anyway, Bae will make our
lives a living hell."

"Funny, that's exactly what she told me." Nayeon chuckled but there was a slight trace of fear
behind her words.

"Am I the only one who thinks this whole thing is a bit over the top? You've only lost a single
game to them and it's still just a friendly match. I don't get all this fuss and I'm sure you'll do just
fine." Mina tried to cheer them up.

"It's the bet thing." Nayeon used her best conspiratorial tone. "I'm sure they have a bet over this
game, that's why Bae wants to win so badly."

"Really? What do you think it is?" Sana's eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"So Coach Bae betrayed Coach Kang's trust to win something." Dahyun cut in, complaining once
again. "That makes it even worse."

"Do you wanna win or not?" Jihyo asked, just as grumpy.

"Of course I do, but playing fair."

"It's not like we're actually cheating, Hyun. It's soccer, having information is good, but what really
matters is what we do on the field. Anything can happen when we're out there." Jeongyeon tried to
be reasonable once she felt more comfortable engaging in the conversation again.

"Come on, babe, it's just a game. It's not like Bae is actually cheating on her wife. I mean, as far as
we know." Momo said as she tried to wrap her arms around her girlfriend.

"It's not just a game, it's a lie. If Kang finds out that she lied about it, she might think Bae can lie
about other things too." Surprisingly, the younger girl deflected away from Momo's hold.

"I don't think it's that deep." Momo chirped nonchalantly, throwing some french fries into her
mouth.
"Are you saying that you'd do the same thing to me?" Dahyun crossed her arms and cocked an
eyebrow.

Everyone around held their breaths. Both Nayeon and Sana even tried to help by making gestures
for her to think or just shut up, but Momo failed to notice.

"All I'm saying it's that it's not that big of a deal." Momo thoughtlessly replied, still distracted with
the food, but regretted it as soon as she saw the look on her girlfriend's face. "Unless that's the
wrong answer, then I actually meant no. I'd never do that to you. That's what I said. I love you."
She added quickly and Jihyo literally facepalmed in the background.

"Hey, Dahyun, wanna know who would never do that to you?" Sana butted in with a wicked smile
on her face.

"If you say what I think you'll say, I swear to God I'll-"

"Me!" Sana added with an even bigger grin and Momo threw the first thing she saw in front of her:
a package of sweet which Sana not only caught mid-air, but also thanked her for it, opening it to eat
right after.

It took a few minutes - and Jihyo having to basically drag Momo out of the cafeteria - for the best
friends to stop arguing. But at the end it got some good laughs from the group, even from
Jeongyeon who was still a little embarrassed by the almost-incident with Nayeon.

Before they went back to their respective classes and afternoon appointments, Nayeon made them
all promise that the Bae-Kang secret would stay only between them.

"For real this time, you guys must keep it under wraps!!!" Nayeon warned.

And since she didn't have the chance to talk to Nayeon during lunch, Jeongyeon once again
skipped her last class to pay a visit to Coach Bae's office, the place where she knew Nayeon spent
most of her afternoons. Coach had a surprisingly nice and well maintained office for someone who
barely spent any time in it. It took a while for Jeongyeon to find the right hall since the last time
she had been there was during the orientation tour in her freshman year.

It was located in a different wing, far away from the other professors. For some reason, near
several art classrooms which Jeongyeon didn't even know the faculty had. She had to ask three
different people for information, but eventually she found a wooden door with a well-crafted sign
that read "M.A. Bae Joohyun" with a "Head Coach" right below it. Nice.

To the right side of the door was a large glass window. The blind was set up and Jeongyeon easily
spotted Nayeon inside. Sitting behind the reception desk with her back to the window as she
dutifully typed something on the old institutional computer.

She was sticking out her tongue, biting it gentilly in that cute way she always did when she was
trying to concentrate. Seemed too busy to notice Jeongyeon watching her from the other side, so
the goalkeeper took a moment to build up the courage and go over everything she had been
planning on her head.

We gotta talk about yesterday. It was way too rushed. We've too much history together to just act
like nothing happened. We still have to talk about the things that I know you're not telling me.
Since we're both not ready for that, we'd better get back to whatever it was we had before... you
know, last night.

It was simple. It was easy. She could totally do it.

Then Jeongyeon gently tapped the glass to capture Nayeon's attention and the intern's face lit up as
soon as she saw Jeongyeon on the other side. In a matter of seconds Nayeon was pushing the door
open and tugging her ex-girlfriend into the fully furnished, shiny wood-framed office.

The goalkeeper cast a quick hence over recognizing a couple of things from her last visits. The
black leather couch was still in the corner parallel to the reception desk and the book rack next to
the door leading to Coach Bae's study looked just as packed as ever.

Actually, everything looked exactly as it did the other times she had been there. All except for the
presence of Bae's new intern, who managed to make Jeongyeon even more nervous than she had
been the day she took the admission interview in that very same room over three years ago.

"Hey." Nayeon closed the door and turned back to her. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Okay, so that's how it's going to be? Nayeon wasn't going to help her at all? Yeah, fine.

"Um, I was thinking we should talk?" It wasn't supposed to come off as a question, but Jeongyeon
couldn't help it.

"Okay. What do you wanna talk about?" She sat down on the desk, crossed her arms and watched
Jeongyeon with a mild neutral expression.

Goddammit, Nayeon. Why do you always gotta make things so hard?

"You know what, this was a bad idea. I don't wanna interrupt your shift, can we talk some other
time?" Jeongyeon tightened the grip she had on the strap of the backpack.

"It's okay, Jeong. It's not like I was doing anything important right now. Besides, Coach isn't here,
we're alone." She uncrossed her arms and slumped further on the desk. One hand on each side of
her thighs and kicking her feet back and forward.

"You seemed pretty focused just now." Jeongyeon nodded at the computer and papers behind her.

"Oh, I was just going over yesterday's notes." Nayeon explained. "Um, typing it out."

"You were actually doing that?" Jeongyeon was a little surprised.

"Well, someone made a point of reminding me how bad my handwriting is, so..." She rolled her
eyes in fake annoyance.

"I was just kidding." Jeongyeon bit her lip.

"I know, but I was going to do it anyway."

"Then I'll let you finish."

"It's almost done and Coach Bae won't be here anytime soon. She said she was off campus for a
meeting or something." Nayeon said slowly like she was trying to remember her mentor's exact
words.

"Okay." Jeongyeon's palms were sweating. She was sure her knuckles were turning white with
how tight her grip was.

It was better to get it over with already. So she took a deep breath and licked her lips before locking
her eyes on Nayeon and putting it out there:
"It's about last night."

"What about last night?" Nayeon didn't even blink.

"You know what." She replied, frowning and trying to stem the lump in her throat.

"You're talking about the kissing part." The intern said plainly, not even flinching at her own
words.

"Of- of course I'm talking about-" Gosh, she couldn't even say it. Jeongyeon frowned deeper and
took a small step back. "That."

"Mhm, okay." Nayeon mused aloud, glanced up as if she was thinking about it before turning to
look at Jeongyeon again. "Do we really have to talk about it now?"

Jeongyeon's mouth hung open in shock. Did she just- fuck, was she for real??

"Of course we do, Nayeon. We have to talk about a lot of things, actually." Nayeon hopped off the
desk. Walked towards the window and closed the blinds she had neglected before. Then she turned
back to the goalkeeper again.

"But like... now? Right now? You sure?" Her tone was low and dangerous as she started to take
small steps toward Jeongyeon.

"Well, yeah? I kinda came here for that." Jeongyeon was getting a bit restless and Nayeon's
newfound proximity made her even more uneasy. She took another step back and her calves hit the
couch behind her.

"I can make it worth your while." Nayeon came to a halt mere inches from Jeongyeon. She slightly
tilted her head and glanced at the younger one's lips before reestablishing eye contact.

"Nayeon..." She couldn't quite get the what the hell do you think you're doing? out.

"Remember," Nayeon hooked her fingers into the belt loops of Jeongyeon's jeans and gently
tugged her closer so that their hips were now touching. "How did we spend our Wednesdays after
practice when we were in our junior year?"

"Y-yes?" Once again she didn't mean for it to come out as a question, but Jeongyeon's system was
overwhelmed and she wasn't thinking straight.

"So you remember how we didn't have to talk about it, right?"

Nayeon's breath tickled Jeongyeon's lips and she could only nod in response.

"We had a lot of fun, didn't we?" Nayeon slid her hands down Jeongyeon's back. Her fingers were
drawing circles over her shirt and Jeongyeon was pretty sure her brain short-circuited. "I, for one,
can surely say that I used to have a really great time."

Jeongyeon had already grasped where this "conversation" was going. She closed her eyes and
struggled not to melt under all of those new and yet familiar sensations Nayeon's touch brought
back to her.

"Nayeon-" She tried and a soft peck on her lips shut her up, but Jeongyeon couldn't say she was
taken by surprise this time. Not only had she been expecting it, she had been craving it as well.

"So..." A second light press of lips was placed at the corner of her mouth and Jeongyeon opened
her eyes to find Nayeon watching her intently and expectantly. "We could do the same thing now."
Another kiss, this time on her jaw. Nayeon was making her way down, leaving a path of kisses all
the way to her neck and Jeongyeon angled her head just enough so she could give her full access.
Nayeon wrapped it up by whispering in her ear. "Except that every day can be Wednesday if we
want to."

"T-that's a bad idea." She struggled to put it out. Well aware that the way she was stuttering in
every sentence was getting embarrassing by now but what the hell could she do.

Both of Nayeon's hands made their way up to her shoulders, gently pushing her down until
Jeongyeon was sitting on the couch behind her. The backpack she was holding fell to the ground
making a noise that neither of them paid any mind to.

"You know better than anyone that I've never been good at making the smartest choices." Nayeon
said with a bit of humor as she watched Jeongyeon from above, still standing in front of the
goalkeeper.

Nayeon cupped her face and caressed her cheek with her right hand. The left one was running
through her hair and Jeongyeon felt her breath catching in her throat.

She couldn't help but lean into that touch despite not knowing what to say. She didn't even want to
say anything at all, to be honest. She just wanted Nayeon to read her mind so that she wouldn't feel
even more foolish by opening her mouth and verbally agreeing to it. But her silence must have been
taken as a sign of doubt by Nayeon, since she was quick to try and reassure her in the most
gracious way. Very Nayeon-like.

"You don't have to say yes. You know that, right?" It was the first time Jeongyeon saw a breach in
the so-called confidence Nayeon was trying to pull since she got there.

Nayeon looked away for a split second and then bent down, crouching between Jeongyeon's legs.
She rested her arms on her ex-girlfriend's knees and hesitantly turned back to her. Eyes barely
vulnerable.

"I know we have a lot of things to talk about but I'm definitely not ready for any of that right now."
Nayeon confessed and Jeongyeon noticed she was trying really hard not to break eye contact.
"And- and I don't think you are either." She made a face like she felt bad for outing Jeongyeon's
feelings. "But if I'm wrong and you really want to settle it now, that's okay. I- I can try and figure
my way into it. We can do it. I'll do my best to lay all the cards on the table once and for all
because you deserve the whole truth." Then one of her hands reached for Jeongyeon's and she
intertwined their fingers, enjoying that one soothing feeling amidst all those confusing emotions.
"But if I'm right and you also need some time to sort things out, we can just go back. We've done it
before, Jeong. We could easily do it again."

Just like Jeongyeon, Nayeon wasn't the type to wear her heart in her sleeve, but her words carried
so much honesty that Jeongyeon couldn't help but sigh. Nayeon kept surprising her with every
move, and Jeongyeon knew it was a losing battle well before it even started.

"It's up to you." Nayeon whispered, their eyes still boring into each other. The hopefulness in her
voice didn't go unnoticed.

Jeongyeon felt like the world had stopped around her. Her ex-girlfriend was really there, right in
front of her, offering a kind of... access which Jeongyeon didn't have in her bones neither the will
nor the drive to say no.
But if they worked things out this way, even if only temporarily, they'd be on the same page and
things wouldn't get awkward between them. Maybe Nayeon would eventually trust her enough to
give her all the answers she needed.

So any possible arrangement would be pursuing the best long-term outcome, she wasn't trying to
indulge and slake the stupid feeling that had been burning inside her ever since she left Nayeon's
apartment the night before.

Well, or at least that's what she told herself in the long seconds that felt more like an eternity to
Nayeon. Seconds which Nayeon respected and waited quietly while all but watched the smoke
coming out of Jeongyeon's ears.

"No strings. We stop as soon as we're ready to talk or if one of us starts to feel uncomfortable about
it. And we won't tell anyone either. No one, Nayeon. I mean it."

A smile bloomed across Nayeon's face and she nodded before finally reaching up for a real kiss.
And that's how they sealed the deal: by making out in their coach's office without a care in the
world.

After all, what could go wrong? Famous last words.

Yeah, she could probably make an alphabetical list of everything that could go wrong. And
probably would soon enough.

That's the conclusion Jeongyeon came to when she finally got home and crashed on the couch,
feeling overwhelmed and honestly a bit exhausted as well. She stared at the ceiling while she could
practically still feel the trail of kisses Nayeon had left on her skin.

Oh shit, were they really doing that?? Jeongyeon felt like she was both soaring and free-falling at
the same time.

Nayeon still didn't know that Jeongyeon remembered the conversation they had on the rooftop and
somehow it felt even more amiss now than it did before. But she also didn't know the truth about
where Nayeon had been for the past year, so she chose to believe that it made things even between
them.

Just as guilt was about to trouble the peace she had made with herself once again, the sound of the
door being harshly shut got her out of her mind. Momo walked in without saying a word, dumped
her backpack on the floor right next to Jeongyeon's and flopped down on the next couch.

"Rough day?" Jeongyeon was still staring at the ceiling, unaware that Momo was doing the
samething on the other couch.

"Kinda." Momo sighed. "Yours?"

"Kinda." Jeongyeon sighed as well.

A comfortable silence settled between them for a while and not for the first time Jeongyeon felt
grateful that Momo was there for her. Thankful for her presence, for her friend and roommate who
even unconsciously still managed to keep her thoughts from getting too dark.

"I just saw Jihyo downstairs. On the street, I mean. But I don't think she saw me. Were you two
hanging out?"

"No, she wasn't here." Jeongyeon frowned. "I actually just got home and I haven't seen her since
lunch."

"Oh, that's weird. I didn't know she knew anyone else around here."

"Maybe I'll ask her about it later." Jeongyeon eyed her watch. "When is Dahyun coming over?"

It was Tuesday and Dahyun always dropped by to watch the new episode of the drama she had
been watching with Momo every week. Jeongyeon had also joined them in the last few weeks.
Even though she wasn't a fan of third wheeling, the drama was really good so it was totally worth
it.

"She's not." Momo sighed again and only then Jeongyeon realized something was up. "She's not
coming tonight."

Jeongyeon sat up. Momo was still lying down with her hands over her stomach and her eyes fixed
on the ceiling.

"You wanna talk about it?" She wanted to ask what happened, but she wasn't about to push Momo
into talking if she didn't want to.

"I'm kind of in the dog house, I guess. I think she's mad at me."

"Oh." Jeongyeon chose her next words carefully, she didn't think she had ever seen Momo and
Dahyun fighting before. "Is it about the whole Bae-Kang thing? She looked really upset about it, I
didn't quite catch the drift."

"Yeah, but it's deeper than that." Momo sat up but splayed her head back on the back of the couch,
kept staring at the ceiling. "Dahyun, she... she had a bad experience in her last relationship. Before
we met, before she even came to Yonsei." Jeongyeon caught a hint of anger in Momo's voice. "It
was messy and toxic, they cheated on her multiple times and still made her feel bad about being
suspicious before she found out."

Forthwith, Jeongyeon got a grasp of how their current predicament may have been upsetting for
Dahyun. It might have been foolish and even funny for most of them, but for her it definitely
could've triggered some bad feelings and tough memories that she'd like to forget. Jeongyeon
wished she had known about it sooner so that she could've tried to smooth things over when she
had the chance.

"Fuck, Momo. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, you could've known."

"Still, that sucks. So I'm sorry if I-"

"No, that's not your fault. Or any of you, for that matter. But this is a touchy topic for her and I
should've noticed sooner. But instead I kept joking about it and didn't realize it until it was too
late." Momo released one more sad, long sigh and turned to look at Jeongyeon. She was nervously
chewing the inside of her mouth, just as she always did whenever she was feeling uneasy.

"But you did notice. That's what matters."

"I took too long." She shook her head. "I just noticed something was off when I was walking her
home. She was so quiet the whole time, and she kept squeezing my hand tighter every time
someone walked by us. That's the kind of thing she does when she's nervous. So I started to
connect the dots and when it finally dawned on me I wanted to jump in front of a bus." Momo
closed her eyes. "Haven't ruled out that option yet."

"Hey, chill out. You talked about it, didn't you?"

"Sort of?" She opened her eyes and frowned like she was only now thinking about it. "She said
we're okay. I apologized and tried to explain that I didn't mean to make her feel like that. Promised
that I'd try to be more sensitive and attentive to these things, but..." She trailed off.

"But what?" Jeongyeon coaxed her into getting it out of her chest.

"She also said it made her feel things that she wouldn't like to feel again. And she- she kept saying
that it was silly and tried to tell her that it wasn't. I told her whatever she felt was valid but she-"
She paused and sighed again. "I don't know, she kind of shut down." Momo closed her eyes and hid
her face behind her hands. Then she proceeded to rub her palms over her eyes like she was having
the worst headache ever.

"Listen, you gotta trust her. If she says you're okay, then it's fine. She knows just how
wholehearted you are." Jeongyeon joined Momo on the other couch. Wrapped her arms around her
and pulled her hands away from her eyes so she could look at her. "It's completely normal if she
wants to be alone for a while after something like that, it doesn't mean she doesn't trust you. Just
give her some time, talk to her again tomorrow."

"I know, but I'm still feeling like crap. What if she thinks I-"

"You would never do anything bad to her and she knows that better than anyone." Jeongyeon didn't
let her finish that thought. "You're sickeningly in love with her, you guys are like the relationship
goal of half this campus. And I'm not included in that half, just to be clear, but I can acknowledge
that."

Momo chuckled and leaned her head on Jeongyeon's shoulder. The older girl hugged her tightly
and rested her chin on her head.

"We don't fight, Jeongyeon. We've never fought like this before, so I don't really know what to do
here. I just wanted to be with her right now to make sure she won't forget it." Momo murmured,
idly fiddling her hands.

"I'm sure she won't." The goalkeeper answered, trying to soothe her friend's heart. "So here's the
deal. You text her, tell Dahyun that you miss her and that she can call you later if she wants to talk.
Also tell her that you love her and all that cheesy crap you're always on about or whatever. You
know what I'm talking about." Jeongyeon feigned annoyance. "You and I are going to order
something to eat and then we're going to watch the new episode because there's no way I'm going
to miss it after how it ended last week."

"Remember when you said the show was bad?" Momo teased as she poked Jeongyeon's ribs.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the word you used was cringey."

"It is!! But I'm too invested to drop it now. And shush, we're talking about you here." Jeongyeon
slapped Momo's hand away. "Anyway, if Dahyun chooses not to call today, you still give her some
space and you guys can talk it over when she's ready, alright? Either way, I'm sure she just needs
some time alone, you'll be fine in no time." Momo could only nod, hoping her friend was right.

They cuddled on the couch for a while longer before carrying on with Jeongyeon's plan. Hours
later, both the pizza they had ordered and the newest episode of the drama they had been watching
were over. Momo was back on the couch, lying with her head on Jeongyeon's lap when a phone
started to ring.

It was chaos. Momo almost stepped on Jeongyeon when she heard the ringtone she only had for
Dahyun. Momo excused herself to her bedroom once she answered the call and they talked for a
while before she came back to the living room only to flash a thumbs up to Jeongyeon. That was
her way to let her know that everything was okay. Upon receiving the same sign back from
Jeongyeon, Momo walked back to her room and closed the door behind her, grinning from ear to
ear while still talking to her girlfriend.

Jeongyeon smiled to herself and turned off the TV, feeling glad that her friend got to ease the
distress she was feeling before she went to bed. She was pretty sure Momo and Dahyun would be
fine anyway, but the quick resolution helped out a lot.

When Jeongyeon finally crawled into bed, she checked her phone one last time to answer some of
the texts she hadn't had a chance to check during the day. Some from the team group chat, a few
from Mina, her older sister sending baby pictures and even one from Jihyo with a crazy conspiracy
theory saying that the volleyball team was up to something pretty bad.

But what really caught her attention as she scrolled down the app was Nayeon's name. There were
no new messages yet, but three little dots and the word typing popping in and out so many times
that Jeongyeon's anxiety got the best of her. She texted first.

[11:35 pm] Yoo(r) #1: you got home okay?

She pressed send and immediately locked her phone. Held the device close to her chest not sure if
she should've said anything but it buzzed a minute later.

[11:36 pm] Im Nayeon: Isn't it a little late to be asking that? We saw each other like six hours ago

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes and sent an emoji that conveyed the same feelings.

[11:36 pm] Yoo(r) #1: well then I'll take that as a yes since no kidnapper would ever be able to
impersonate your attitude so well

[11:36 pm] Im Nayeon: I always try my best! Thanks for the acknowledgement ;)

Okay, was that it? Jeongyeon really had to do all the work? She huffed before typing again.

[11:38 pm] Yoo(r) #1: did you have something to say? you know, when you were typing

She didn't want to put Nayeon off, but she still wanted to know what the other girl was so hesitant
to text.

[11:40 pm] Im Nayeon: Just good night

[11:40 pm] Im Nayeon: Good night, Jeong

Just... oh. That's all? Jeongyeon typed but deleted it before pressing send.

[11:41 pm] Yoo(r) #1: okay

[11:41 pm] Yoo(r) #1: good night, nayeon

Jeongyeon watched the typing... pop up again. Disappeared a few seconds later when she got
nothing but an emoji which meant the end of that conversation. She sighed and put her phone on
the charger before turning around and trying not to think about Nayeon until she fell asleep.
She failed.

A good night text? Just like the night before? Yeah, okay, she could get used to it.

Good night, Nayeon.

...

The next practice was nothing short of chaotic. Coach Bae broke the team in two squads and
shared pretty strict instructions for both groups to perform similar plays to the ones Sogang's team
had been using in their last games, letting them know that she was actively using Nayeon's notes to
strategize.

Besides, the fishing practice wasn't any less intense since Nayeon replaced most of the set-piece
with one versus one battles in the box. It kept the goalkeepers moving around a lot, so after
everyone was gone Jeongyeon laid down on the grass like a starfish, arms and legs spread wide,
feeling exhausted while Nayeon put the equipment away.

"It'd be faster if you'd help, you know?"

"I know, but that's your job. Can't afford to spoil you rotten." Nayeon huffed but the smile on her
face betrayed her facade.

Jeongyeon just watched and waited for Nayeon to complete her tasks, making plans to follow her
into the locker room to steal a couple of kisses before finally locking the place up.

Fuck, it had barely been a day and she was already missing her touches? Yep, that's great, she
totally had it under control.

Unaware of what was going on in her ex-girlfriend's mind, Nayeon strolled back and forth as she
talked about her classes and how the major change affected her academic schedule. Jeongyeon just
sat there and listened to Nayeon babbling on about her teachers, her tests and whatever Coach Bae
had been teaching her these days. Couldn't help but notice how much she missed it when Nayeon
would go into those endearing ramblings whenever she was excited about the most banal thing.

She had always been very expressive and dramatic for no other reason than to make the people
around her have fun. And Jeongyeon was indeed enjoying herself, she always did around Nayeon.
Every minute she spent with her was a new reminder of why she had fallen in love with her and
why it was so fucking hard to get over her.

And also a reminder of why even with all the heartache and everything else she had been through
to this day, she still chose to give in to that not-so-ideal and anything-but-conventional
arrangement: because for her it's better to have a part of Nayeon than not having her at all. She of
all people would know it since Jeongyeon had already been without Nayeon for too long to afford
to throw away what she had now.

Although the new arrangement hadn't been going on for long, Jeongyeon had already fully
accepted that once they finally sat down to talk and, quoting Nayeon, lay all their cards on the
table, that would probably be the ultimate ending for them. A closure to everything they had in the
past or might still be having at the moment. She had come to terms with the fact that there was no
happy ending waiting for them at the end of the line.

There were too many lies, too many omissions, too many setbacks. Problems, troubles, and fuck-
maybe too much love, a little voice she tried to ignore still rang out in the back of her mind. But not
the right kind, she always argued back.
Jeongyeon had already hurt herself too much to pretend that this situation wasn't just a temporary
solution. Maybe a farewell or a parting gift since they never had a proper ending the first time
around.

All she knew was that she was holding way too many things deep inside her. Everything that could
fit in between love and resentment, and she was sure that once she put it all out there Nayeon
would never look at her the same way again. Never. But maybe it's the exact same scenario on the
other side, maybe the hidden secrets Nayeon was keeping from her were all that was needed to
break whatever bond they might still have.

Maybe, and just maybe, only then they would actually move on. When they both felt ready enough
to have that talk. One day, probably soon. But that day definitely would not be today.

"We're all set?" Nayeon checked off a mental list she made whenever she was in charge of locking
duties. "All gears in the storage room, doors locked, lights out. Yeah, okay, I think we're done."

"You forgot one thing." Jeongyeon was standing behind Nayeon, both of them inside the tunnel
that connected the field to the locker room.

"What? Oh, the key?" Nayeon blindly fumbled inside her hoodie pocket until she felt the cold
metal in her hands. "No, we're fine. It's here." She turned to face Jeongyeon and swung the
keychain, grinning at her.

"Nope, not the key." Jeongyeon shook her head and stepped a little closer. Nayeon tilted her head,
not quite understanding what the goalkeeper was talking about. Her genuinely confused frown was
so amusedly cute that Jeongyeon had to bite her lip to keep herself from smiling too much.

"Then what are you tal-" Nayeon didn't get to finish. Jeongyeon stepped forward placing a hand on
Nayeon's shoulder and pressing her against the wall, deftly pursuing her lips to shut her up with a
kiss.

She cupped Nayeon's face between her hands but she didn't have the heart to press her body against
hers like she really wanted to. The warmth of her fingers brushing against Nayeon's cheeks alone
was more than enough to make her whole system go into a state of alertness, so she felt like she
couldn't afford to press her luck.

But Nayeon was braver than her, she always had been, so a second later she undauntedly drew
Jeongyeon close. Wrapped her arms around her midsection and made her brain effectively stop
working until she got used to that feeling again. They still worked like clockwork, the whole world
stopped as they carelessly shared kisses for who knew how long.

Kisses which somehow were both rushed and slow at the same time. Rushed as if they were afraid
they were running out of time, but slow as if they were striving to relish every second of it. But
they never, by any means, lacked the intimacy they had always been familiar with. The one that
came with shy giggles and lopsided smiles every time their noses bumped awkwardly in the heat of
the moment.

Jeongyeon loved how well they still fitted. Basked in it even. She couldn't say she was surprised by
the conversance of it all. How months apart didn't affect the inwardness of their dynamic.

She felt like even if this reunion were to happen only twenty years down the road, and if for some
fucked up reason they ended up in this very same situation, in this very same predicament, still
nothing would change. Nothing would change at all.
 They would still know each other like no one else. They would feel comfortable in each other's
arms as if no time had passed.

With all these thoughts in the back of her mind, Jeongyeon kissed her more firmly. Urgently, even.
Her hands settled on Nayeon's waist in a rather possessive manner, as if she was going to slip
between her fingers if she didn't.

But when Nayeon linked her hands around her neck and let her thumb trace circles behind her ear,
her fingers idly played with the loose strands of hair and that's when Jeongyeon relaxed altogether.
Her mind only focused on that moment. On Nayeon. Nayeon, Nayeon, Nayeon. As it should be.

When the intern finally broke off the kisses - only because they both had class in less than an hour
and Jeongyeon still needed to take a shower, Nayeon reasoned before they walked out together -
Jeongyeon still placed a few pecks on her lips before she actually explained why the sudden attack.

"It's Wednesday after practice." She said without looking at Nayeon. Her eyes were set on the
sunlight escaping at the end of the tunnel as they walked hand in hand toward the exit. "If we're
bringing the old deal back, we better do it right."

Just as Nayeon said before, if it was up to her every day would be Wednesday after practice from
now on.

"Yeah." Nayeon replied, nodding purposefully. She stole one last glance at Jeongyeon, but her eyes
were still focused straight ahead. "Let's make it right."

Chapter End Notes

next one is one of my favorites: sanayeon is back at it and there's a lot 2yeon moments
 that's the kind of smile you only have for her
Chapter Summary

Sometimes Jeongyeon could swear it was almost as if they were in their freshman year
all over again, like nothing had changed. Moments like that were the ones where she
caught herself wishing that nothing had actually changed at all. That Nayeon hadn't
left her. Left them. That things could've been different, or rather could've stayed the
same. That instead of an atypical event to dwell on, this moment could be just another
Sunday night among friends who also happened to be family.

Chapter Notes

happy holidays!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The next days were the closest Jeongyeon felt from heaven in a really long time.

She and Nayeon have fallen back into the old ways. They started to meet up on the rooftop like
they used to do in their freshman year, but Nayeon's couch also welcomed some visits from her ex-
girlfriend again. Even empty classrooms were briefly invaded whenever one of them escorted the
other around the campus as well.

They'd always find a way to sneak around and spend some time alone. Every single day, whether it
was for real reasons or lame excuses, they didn't care. The point was that they met and made out,
and then they kissed a little more, lost themself on each other's touches and also chatted for a bit in
the time they had left. Hanging out and talking about everything and nothing at the same time,
except about the problems which both of them kept avoiding like the plague.

Yonsei beat Sogang in their friendly match on the following weekend. An easy 3-0 and the whole
team gathered in the Beach House after Coach Bae, sporting the biggest grin they'd ever seen,
announced that the team was dismissed from Monday's early morning practice, so they could
celebrate however they pleased.

"Why do I get the feeling that the night is going to be way better for her than it could ever be for
us?" Sana leaned in to whisper in Jeongyeon's ear, making the goalkeeper's cheeks turn into a rosy
tint as she growled an unintelligible curse and shoved Sana away with her shoulder.

The sun was setting when Jeongyeon and Momo made it to the party. They went together after
stopping at home to take a shower and get ready. The friendly had taken place at Sogang's campus
and Coach Bae sent her team straight to the bus right after the match instead of letting them - in her
own words - spend even a minute longer on the enemy's premises.

Although it was an away game, Mina and some other friends of the players had driven down to the
Sogang so they could watch and cheer on them, therefore they were all invited to the celebration as
well. But amid friends inviting other friends, what was supposed to be a small social gathering
quickly turned into a party.

"Listen to me! It's been days since we broke into their house and Jennie hasn't as much as growled
our way yet. No insults, no pranks, nothing at all! They're planning something, I know it!!"

Jeongyeon got there just in time to catch Jihyo giving a pretty passionate speech in the middle of
the living room. Dawning attention not only from the players but from the other guests as well.

Nayeon was also there already and she looked good. So nice, so pretty and so fucking kissable.
Just lying on the couch and looking at Jihyo as if the captain was babbling nonsense, but damn, she
surely looked hot with that amused but yet curious smirk playing on her lips.

"So what? If they strike, we strike back. That's how it works with us, it's the way of the world."

"I'm talking about something big, Nayeon, it's Jennie we're talking about here! She'd cause a crying
spree if she ever went into a nursery and I'm pretty sure that if we take a tour around the police
stations over the city there will be a sketch of her on each one of their walls!"

"First off, nice burns. You're getting better at it and I'm proud!" Nayeon winked at her. "And
second, I agree with everything you just said but I still don't get your point."

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Jihyo hissed. "My point is that if she's taking this long to come for us it
means that she must be planning an assassination at the very least! Or worse!! Maybe Jennie will
plant drugs in our lockers and call the police to get us kicked out of college!"

"With all due respect, Cap, you gotta get your priorities straight." Dahyun quipped, also amused by
the scene.

"Cap, blink twice if you need help." Chaeyoung whispered as she leaned closer.

"Ji, you need to relax." Nayeon shook her head. Patted the place beside her inviting Jihyo to sit
down. "Enjoy our win today, you've earned it."

"Jeongyeon!" Jihyo finally noticed her presence. "Tell her! We talked about it!" The captain
vigorously pointed at Nayeon with the same hand in which she held a red cup. "You agree with me,
don't you? Back me up here."

Jeongyeon wasn't expecting Jihyo to be that invested in this matter. Her best friend was already
tipsy and the party had only just started. How could she have drunk that much already? She had the
liquor tolerance of an old german man, she could handle a lot more than her small frame might
lead on. So it felt kind of weird, so she made a mental note to talk to JIhyo about it later.

"Maybe they think that some rival college pulled those pranks on them? Remember when Sogang's
volleyball team threw eggs at their place when they were on a trip for an away game last year? At
first they thought it was us until Sogang claimed it." Jeongyeon tried, repeating the same argument
she had already texted Jihyo a few days ago.

Jihyo had in fact tried to discuss it with Jeongyeon on several occasions during the past week. She
had pestered the goalkeeper with multiple texts and an awful lot of complaints and conspiracy
theories during their practices and lunches, claiming that everyone should be careful because the
volleyball team was up to no good, in her own words. But honestly, when were they not?

To her credit, it had also struck Jeongyeon as a little odd that neither Jennie or her minions hadn't
uttered even a single word against them since that night at the gym. The few times the goalkeeper
had crossed any of their paths in the hallways or classes, all she had gotten in return was dirty
glances and nasty grimaces, i.e., nothing unusual. But she didn't care much about that because she
had more pressing matters on her mind these days. Like the fact that she and her ex-girlfriend were-
well, doing whatever the hell they were doing by making out behind their friend's back.

"They could have believed it was someone else if we hadn't said all that stuff to them on their
court. But they're not as dumb as they look, Jeongyeon, they know it was us." Jihyo pressed.

"Of course they do, Ji! And I wanted them to know!" Nayeon hissed, almost gritting her teeth.
"That's the whole point, wasn't it? We just fought back and I still think we went easy on them. We
should've done worse."

"Maybe that's it, then." Tzuyu tried to reason. "We just struck back, we weren't the ones who
started it. So perhaps they think we're even now?" Her small voice stood out and there was a brief
silence. All eyes turned to her finding the youngest sitting on one of the couches.

"Oh, our sweet and innocent child." Momo walked over to dramatically ruffle her hair. "This is a
war, Tzu. There is no such thing as being even in the middle of a war."

"Cap is right." Sana agreed as she paraded across the room with a bottle in each hand to refill the
empty cups, Jihyo's included. "They're plotting something. Probably sacrificing virgins and
children as we speak so they can summon all demons they need to teach us a lesson or something. I
can almost feel the gates of hell opening somewhere near campus." She dramatically fake-shivered
as she kept walking.

"Okay, you don't have to back me up if you're gonna make fun of me." Jihyo rolled her eyes at
Sana's over-the-top wryness but thanked her for the drink anyway.

"If Sana sensed it, then it must be true. She'd know if any of her relatives were about to pay us a
visit." Nayeon preached with a teasing grin on her face.

"Yeah, you're right. Last time I sensed such bad energy was when you came back." She played
along. "But if the gates of hell really do open one more time, I'll make sure to be around to push
you back to your place."

They bounced some more insults back and forth while Jihyo kept complaining about the volleyball
team's alleged misdeeds. Nayeon and Sana were always like this now, since the duo started talking
again it was as if the fight between them had never happened. They were pretty much back to the
dynamic they had before Nayeon left Yonsei: friends with the benefit of getting underneath each
other's skin. But no, not like that. Their daily exchange of insults felt almost harmless by now since
everyone was already used to it.

"Why are you so worried anyway? I already told you, we give as good as we get. If they attack
we'll fight back." Nayeon turned back to Jihyo once again. Her tone was a little too sharp this time.

"I think the problem is that we attacked their home." Yerim chimed in, coming down the stairs that
led to the bedrooms. "Maybe Cap is afraid because we've been talking and got to the conclusion
that maybe they'll try something in our place as well. And since most of us live here I'm pretty sure
we're gonna get the worst of it."

"I'm not afraid of anything!" Jihyo protested. Crossed her arms and cast a deadly glare at Yerim. "I
just don't like the suspense. I bet that's part of their plan as well, just like we got them all worked
up at the gym. They're letting us worry and be all paranoid and then... boom! They kill us all!"

"You're the only person who's getting all paranoid here." Nayeon pointed out.
"But why can't they just do something already??" Jihyo ran her hands through her hair.

"So you want them to kill us faster? Is that it?" Sana butted in again, unable to miss an opportunity
to piss Jihyo off.

"Ugh, never mind. You guys don't get it!" Jihyo sighed and walked away.

"What's gotten into her?" Nayeon asked as soon as Jeongyeon sat down next to her on the couch,
the same place she had previously offered to the captain before she stormed off.

"I don't know." Jeongyeon replied, frowning as her eyes followed the direction Jihyo had just
disappeared in. "I think she's just a little nervous about the season opening coming up. It's her first
year as captain here, after all. You know how hard she is on herself."

"Right. Maybe we should go after her?"

"Nah, she's kind of drunk right now. I'll talk to her once she sober up a little bit."

"Yeah, yeah, you do that." Yerim popped out in front of them out of thin air. She had two glasses in
her hands and handed one of them to each.

"Drink up." She ordered and nodded with the authority of a mother giving medicine to a child.

Nayeon stared at the cup for half a second before she tried to bring it to her mouth, but Jeongyeon
stopped her mid-way, holding her arm.

"What did I tell you about this just a few days ago in this very room?" She scolded.

"That Yerim is the devil's offspring?" Nayeon asked, trying to lift her hand one more time and once
again being stopped by Jeongyeon.

"Spawn." Jeongyeon corrected. "But yeah, you got the memo."

"Hey!" Yerim protested. "I'm the life of the party."

"That's exactly what I said!" Nayeon broke free from Jeongyeon's hold and drank it all in one go.

Jeongyeon watched in horror as the two fellow walking hurricanes engaged in a lively conversation
about other parties they attended in that very same house when the two were still freshmen. Yerim
the year before and Nayeon two years ago. Jeongyeon thanked goodness that they were separated
by a year because she was pretty sure that Nayeon and Yerim would've set that house on fire if
they had been in their freshmen partying era together.

The goalkeeper made a show of sniffing the cup Yerim had stuck in her hand just to pick on the
younger girl, then decided that it was safe to at least have a sip. It tasted kind of weak by Yerim's
quality standard which usually was known as the strongest the better, so she kept drinking while
she made small talk with the other guests. Nayeon's presence always in the back of her mind.

She was congratulated on her good performance in the match and thanked her teammates in return
because a clean sheet game always boosted her mood. Even Jihyo popped back up looking a bit
calmer and also sober-ish as well, so Jeongyeon was able to talk to her for a few minutes and make
sure she was okay before the captain took off to enjoy the pool along with some other teammates in
the backyard.

The house was packed with students, really crowded, but Jeongyeon's attention was always set on
her closest friends. Momo and Dahyun were "talking" in a corner, their faces way closer than
necessary, but knowing the recent problems the couple had been through earlier that week, that
was probably the first time Jeongyeon didn't want to gag at their overly excessive PDA. Mina was
also nearby and engaged in what appeared to be a very interesting conversation with Tzuyu.
Chaeyoung, on the other hand, was nowhere to be seen. She had disappeared a few minutes ago,
probably hanging out with Jihyo by the pool.

But Jeongyeon's attention was snatched back to the people beside her the moment she heard the
words keg stand coming out Yerim's lips. And upon hearing Nayeon actually considering the idea,
Jeongyeon felt like she had to keep those two as far away from each if they wanted to keep some
sense of peace in that house.

"Thing Two, you gotta bounce." Jeongyeon patted her shoulder to let her know it was her time to
go.

"What? Why??" She confusedly asked, almost whined.

"Chaeyoung is looking for you outside."

"How'd you kn-"

"She said something about being better than you at that bottle push-ups shit you like to do."
Jeongyeon acted like an Oscar nominee, not that it'd take that much to convince Yerim in the
drunken state she was already in.

"The fuck!? She knows I'm better than her!" Yerim stood up angrily and shouted Chaeyoung's
name on her way to the backyard.

Jeongyeon bit back her laughter as she watched Yerim stomping out. When she turned back,
Nayeon was watching her with amused dark eyes.

"Would you like to explain?" She cracked an eyebrow.

"Yerim can pull like- I don't know, maybe a hundred push-ups with booze bottles on her back. It's a
talent. A weird talent, but still a talent." Jeongyeon quipped as if that's really the answer Nayeon
was looking for.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about." Nayeon squinted her eyes somewhat accusingly.

"Nayeon! Get your ass over here!" A familiar voice cut their conversation short.

Both looked back and found Sana standing in front of the ping pong table which was set in a far
corner of the living room, underneath the stairs. Nayeon's smile grew wider because she knew
exactly what it meant. She almost jumped over the couch towards the japanese girl who was
holding a paddle in each hand.

"I really hope you've gotten better over time, Minatozaki." Nayeon snatched one of the paddles and
spun it around in her hands.

"Right back at you."

Despite all the differences in the basically frenemies dynamic between Nayeon and Sana, the two
of them always had a stronger bond when it came to being competitive. They liked to win, that's it.
Not that anyone liked to lose, but their overly competitive asses got along pretty well.
Whenever they were put in the same team together they were nearly invincible. Always used to
paired up in every single party game, and more often than not they came out triumphantly as the
winners. Beer pong, for instance, was Nayeon's favorite game since they both had a high tolerance
for alcohol which gave them a major advantage against their opponents.

"Okay, so who are we crushing first?" Nayeon asked as she poured the glasses set on the table.

"We?" Sana clicked her tongue and shook her head as she dramatically walked over to the other
end of the table. "No, no. Tonight I am going to crush you."

A brief beam of confusion flashed across Nayeon's face before she shifted and set her expression to
nonchalance. Jeongyeon did notice that Nayeon was mildly disappointed because she thought the
two of them were going to play together, but Sana apparently had other plans.

"Keep telling yourself that." Nayeon snorted. Played it cool while they trash talked, still filling the
cups.

It was funny watching Nayeon and Sana interact like that. Sometimes Jeongyeon could swear it
was almost as if they were in their freshman year all over again, like nothing had changed.
Moments like that were the ones where she caught herself wishing that nothing had actually
changed at all. That Nayeon hadn't left her. Left them. That things could've been different, or rather
could've stayed the same. That instead of an atypical event to dwell on, this moment could be just
another Sunday night among friends who also happened to be family.

Trying to get away from such thoughts, Jeongyeon settled for leaning against a wall and waiting
nearby just to make sure that this little game of theirs wouldn't get out of hand. She noticed that
Mina had drawn closer as well, clearly also amused by the scene.

"Wanna make things more interesting?" Nayeon asked after all the cups were filled.

"Wanna lose another bet already?" Sana promptly shot back.

Wait, did she just say another?? Jeongyeon caught that part but didn't have a chance to think about
it any further because they kept going.

"Yes or no, Minatozaki? I don't have all night." Nayeon pressed, pointing her paddle at her.

"Depends. What's in it for you?"

"A confession." Nayeon didn't miss a beat. Answered right away with a mischievous grin on her
face.

Jeongyeon and Mina exchanged a confused look across the room. As if asking each other what the
hell was going on, but neither of them had an answer to that. Sana crossed her arms, raised her
eyebrows in challenge and looked down at Nayeon.

"What are you trying-"

"If I win," Nayeon hastily interrupted. "You have to answer a question of mine, truthfully. That's
all. And honestly, it doesn't even have to be in public. Just you and me, I just want to hear you say
it."

Say fucking what?

"What's wrong with you?" Sana was trying very hard not to get worked up, but to no avail. Nayeon
probably hit a nerve.

"What? You're scared?" Nayeon replied with an alarming nonchalance, the perfect kind to make
Sana even more mad.

They stared at each other for a few seconds and a nearly tangible tension was pulsing in the air
between them. The chatter around them had died down a bit, but not entirely. Their little bicker had
also got themselves a little audience. Jeongyeon watched Nayeon's smug smile and challenging
gaze as Sana stared at her with what could only be called anger.

So that's how it ends? All the progress they made over the past weeks would go down the drain
because of a stupid game?

The goalkeeper was about to jump in when she saw Sana's features shift altogether. She matched
Nayeon's smirk with one of her own. The kind that she only used when she was about to bring hell
in.

"Okay." Sana finally gave in. Rested both hands on the edge of the table, leaning forward and
tilting her head. "And since I'm feeling exceptionally generous today, if I win I'll still give you a
reward."

"Cut the crap, Sana." Nayeon rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "What do you want?"

Sana's wicked grin grew even wider. "If I win, you get a kiss."

A what? Did they hear that right?

"I'm not going to kiss you!" Nayeon promptly shot with an unmistakably disgusted expression.

"Are you insane? I'd rather make out with a cactus. I said you get a kiss, not me." Sana snapped
back without losing her smirk. "You're definitely not going to kiss me, Nayeon. At least not outside
of your dreams."

"Then what the fuck-"

"It's like truth or dare." Sana went on to explain. "You chose truth for me and I accepted. Now, if I
win, you get the dare. And the dare as usual is a kiss."

Okay, what the fuck was going on? Jeongyeon couldn't believe that they were actually taking that
stupid game seriously. Her body stiffened against the wall and she crossed her arms feeling
inexplicably uncomfortable. How old were they? Thirteen? It was childish, wasn't it? Stupid, even
kind of dumb if you think about it and-

"Anyone?" Nayeon answered in a lower tone and Jeongyeon's gaze dropped to the floor.

"Yeah, whatever." Sana scorfed. "Anyone."

"Deal." Nayeon suddenly threw the ball at Sana. She was trying to take her by surprise and maybe
even intimidate her a little, but the japanese girl caught it mid-air without breaking a sweat. Tossed
the ball right back at Nayeon.

"Elders go first." Sana bit her lower lip and stepped away from the table. Nayeon stared at her for a
couple of seconds before sighing and actually starting the match.

As the ball bounced back and forth Jeongyeon tried to ignore the tightness in her chest. The
prospect of seeing Nayeon kissing someone else had washed away any sense of good spirits that
their previous win had brought.

What the fuck was Sana thinking anyway? Out of all the things she could've asked, why the hell
did she have to go there?

Fuck that stupid game, she didn't want to watch this shit.

Doing her best not to be noticed, Jeongyeon walked out toward the kitchen and found the place
empty for what was probably the first time since the party had started.

Through the window she caught a glimpse of some people outside enjoying the pool. Jihyo, Yerim
and Chaeyoung included, all looking like they were having the time of their lives. The rest, she
figured, were probably watching the whole circus that was taking place in the living room, or
maybe somewhere else sucking faces or worse. Whatever. Not that she cared, anyways. Right now
Jeongyeon was just grateful for the alone time she was able to get, even though she was sure that
the moment wouldn't last as long as she'd like.

It was pathetic, really. She was pathetic, to be honest. Or at least that's how she felt when she
realized that she was basically having some kind of breakdown at the mere thought that her ex-
girlfriend, the person who dumped her and broke her heart in way more pieces than she could ever
count, the same person who she wasn't even friends with, and most certainly did not owed her
anything, was probably end the night by making out with some random girl. Somebody else.
Anybody else. Someone who wouldn't be her.

She knew how silly it sounded. So fucking stupid because Nayeon had probably hooked up with
other people while she was away. As far as Jeongyeon knew - which was basically nothing, by the
way - Nayeon could've had a whole relationship during the time she was gone. Oh shit- no, no, she
shouldn't have gone there. That brand new realization did nothing to soothe her heart.

Not that Jeongyeon had been saving herself for all of this time. She had her fair share of flings also
known as failed attempts to move on even before Mina. But all she could think about at that
moment was how she and Nayeon had been each other's first kisses and how for a really long time
Jeongyeon had believed that they would also be each other's last.

The first, the last and therefore the only ones in each other's lives.

Nayeon had promised her they would.

She promised so many times, so many times, and with such assurance that not in a million years
Jeongyeon could possibly have imagined the ticking bomb that their relationship would become.

So in a burst of anger - towards Sana? Nayeon? Or maybe herself? She wasn't sure - Jeongyeon
gave in to all the bad feelings she had been avoiding for the past days. She let them all come
rushing, flooding and wrecking her mind.

Goddammit, why did it have to be so unfair?

She wanted to go back in that room and put an end to that stupid game. Flip the damn table, if she
must. Get Nayeon out of there and set the record straight, if that's what it'd take. Once and for all
solve all the unfinished business that they had been putting off for way longer than they should.
Anything to stop what may or may not happen.

I lied to you, Nayeon. I remember everything you told me on the rooftop. I just let you believe I
didn't and I feel like I've been fucking using you ever since. So now what? What the hell do we do?
Shit. She definitely couldn't say that. But there's a lot of things she wished she could say.

She wished she could also ask Nayeon when was it. When exactly did she stop meaning all the
promises she made? When everything they planned together became nothing but empty words to
her?

And why? Why did she fall out of love with her after all?

Because Nayeon might love her and still not be in love with her. If she was in love with her she
wouldn't have left in the first place. Not like she did, at least.

So yeah, once again she was trapped with so many fucking questions and no answers at all. But
maybe one of those answers would be enough to make Jeongyeon finally give up for good.

But most of all, she wanted to know why Nayeon couldn't just let her move on.

Why the hell did she come back? Why did she keep messing with her head like that?

Was it possible that all of this was just a game to Nayeon or-

"I smelled something burning and thought it might be coming from here, but it seems like it's just
you overthinking again, as always." A familiar teasing voice interrupted Jeongyeon's mild-
breakdown. "Please tell me you haven't killed your last two brain cells yet."

"Shouldn't you be sticking your tongue down your girlfriend's throat or whatever?" She quipped
back, matching her tone.

"Oh, don't worry. I'll have plenty of time to stick my tongue in my girlfriend later. You might
wanna try using headphones tonight." Momo was leaning on the doorframe with her arms crossed
against her chest. She tried to play it cool but Jeongyeon would recognize that worried look
anywhere.

"Ew, TMI." Jeongyeon cringed and crossed her arms as well. She was settled against the sink on
the other side of the kitchen and soon enough Momo was walking over and propping herself by her
side.

"Well, you asked for it." Momo beamed and lightly jabbed Jeongyeon's shoulder, getting a nudge
in return.

"Shut up." Jeongyeon groaned and they both giggled until a comfortable silence settled between
them. Momo even leaned closer and rested her head on Jeongyeon's shoulder as she hummed along
to the muffled music coming from outside.

Once again Jeongyeon was grateful that Momo had shown up to stop her darkest thoughts.
Granted, there was no way Momo could've known what was going on inside her head, but it always
seemed like her roommate had a way of showing up whenever she needed the most.

Jeongyeon always tried not to think about Nayeon whenever she was around other people. As
irrational as it sounds, sometimes she had the feeling that the people around her could read her
mind or something. And she definitely didn't want to be caught thinking about her. It wasn't a risk
she was willing to take.

When Momo was around, however, it wasn't the fear of being judged that made her clear her head.
No, Momo would never judge her, not even because of that. But what prompted her to clear her
mind of all the bad thoughts was the fact that whenever Momo was around she always wanted to
see the bright side of things. So instead of not thinking about Nayeon when Momo was around, she
just felt more comfortable thinking about the nice things and the good times she experienced with
the older girl instead.

So that's exactly what she did. She tried to calm her inner turmoil with the good memories she still
had.

Because yes, maybe Nayeon hadn't been able to keep all her promises, but even if Jeongyeon could
go back in time to tell her younger self everything she had gone through up to that day, still nothing
would change. Even knowing about all the problems, the hardships, the sleepless nights and the
pain of a broken heart, Jeongyeon would still do it all over again.

She'd still offer to be Nayeon's first kiss and she'd also say yes to her all over again when she asked
to be her girlfriend. She'd say every "I love you" with the same honesty, same heartfeltness. Maybe
even more if she knew there was a chance to make Nayeon stay. She'd do it all over again because
it was worth it. Nayeon did make it all worth it while it lasted.

"Don't look at me like that." Jeongyeon blurted out after catching Momo casting a not so subtle
worried glance.

"Like what?"

"You know what, like that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Momo feigned innocence.

"Momo…" Jeongyeon sighed and nudged her with her shoulder once again.

"Alright, sorry." Momo relented and turned sideways to stare at her impassive profile. "I'm just
worried."

"What about?" Jeongyeon looked at her and hugged herself even tighter.

"Oh, you know..." Momo rolled her eyes and put her hands on her waist before adding
sarcastically. "Just the fact that one of my best friends has chosen to hide in the kitchen because my
other best friend who also happens to be her ex who she may or may not be sucking faces with is
right there in the next room playing a game that might lead to her possibly having to kiss someone
else." Jeongyeon froze. Almost gasped. "And maybe, just maybe, this friend of mine is not ready
for that yet."

She knew. Momo knew it. Of course she did. She could never keep anything from Momo, no
matter how much she tried.

"How did you find out?" Jeongyeon sighed defeatedly and faced forward again. Anything to avoid
her flatmate's piercing gaze.

"You haven't been as low-key as you think you are. At least not to me." Momo chuckled. "You've
been coming home later than usual and you've also been out for periods of time where you'd
usually be home. I was kind of worried at first but then I started to catch up on the other signs."

"Signs?" She asked shyly. A bit confused even and Momo smiled empathetically. "What signs?"

"You look happier, Jeongyeon." Happier? "Both of you, actually. And I'm offended that neither
you nor she told me yet."
"No one was supposed to know..." Jeongyeon sheepishly replied.

"Alright, I'll give you guys some credit. The two of you are doing a pretty decent job hiding
whatever it is you've been doing when you're in public. But I live with you, Jeong, and I see right
through you. I've seen the way you've been coming home with that sappy grin on your face and I
know you well enough to say that's the kind of smile you only have for her."

The last sentence made Jeongyeon's heart beat faster. How many other things had she been
reserving only for Nayeon without even noticing?

"But why are you hiding it anyway? I'm sure everyone will be thrilled once they find out that
you're back together-"

"We're not." Jeongyeon cut her off before she could finish her sentence. Even glanced around and
out the window to make sure no one else was around.

"But you said-" Momo frowned.

"We're not back together. We're just... shit, I don't know. I'm not sure." Frustration almost kept her
from elaborating any further. "We've been spending time together, Momo. Hanging out and well,
making out as well. But we haven't talked about it yet. About feelings and stuff. It's complicated."

"Oh." She sounded disappointed. "Do you wanna talk about it? With me, I mean."

"I don't have anything to talk about. It's like a bad habit I can't quit." Bullshit. Jeongyeon's stomach
clenched in repulsion as soon as she finished that sentence, but it was too late to take back.

"A bad habit??" Momo scoffed. "Is that really how you're going to call it?"

"I- I don't know what else to call it."

"Do you have feelings for her?" The urginess in Momo's voice took her by surprise. "Not like just
attraction or lust or whatever, I mean real feelings, Jeong. Do you?"

Well, of course she did. Wasn't it obvious? Why on earth would she put herself through all that if
she didn't?

Over a year ago Jeongyeon came to believe that she really hated Nayeon. The way things ended
was something she probably would never be able to put behind her. And that was okay, she
thought, Jeongyeon could hate her because maybe she would never see Nayeon again, so that's
okay. Yeah, she could hate her if that's what she needed to move on.

But months later, when she was starting to cope better, when she started to believe that maybe one
day everything would really be alright, the feeling she had previously pointed out as hate had
finally subsided. All that was left was the gap left by the loss. Shaped with Nayeon's size and
tagged with her name. Along with the several why's and how's which she still didn't have the
answers to yet. But she'd get over Nayeon soon enough, she kept telling herself. It was all right, it
was fine, it was only a matter of time.

But when Nayeon came back a few weeks ago, turning everything upside down like the force of
nature she truly was and always had been, Jeongyeon expected the hatred to come back with her as
well. But instead she came to realize that hate was never the right word to define her feelings
towards her ex.

Disappointment? Maybe. She deserved a better ending. So yeah, that's understandable. Nayeon
owed her at least an explanation. A proper closure so that she could move on. So disappointment
fitted.

Longing? Or yearning? Yeah, definitely. How could she simply not miss what she considered to be
her better half? It was perfectly normal. It fitted as well.

And grudge? Probably. A full-blown of sorrow for not knowing exactly where things went wrong.
Not only towards Nayeon, but also at herself as well. The signs were there, after all, she should've
known better. Should've realized sooner. Done something about it before it was too late.

But love too, that's beyond discussion. Each and every single one of the other feelings were the
offspring of the love she felt for Nayeon. Whether they were good or bad ones, the fact was that
they were all still there.

"I love her." Jeongyeon blurted out ignoring the lump in her throat. "I can't help it."

"Jeongyeon..." Momo said after mulling over those words for a few seconds. "Listen, you guys
need to talk about it soon. You're only going to hurt yourselves even more if you keep ignoring this
whole thing."

"I know." She whispered. Her eyes were glistening as she tried to make sense of her own feelings.

They fell into a heavy silence and Momo wrapped Jeongyeon in a side hug, but the goalkeeper
stared up front, not focusing on anything in particular.

Not a minute later, as if she had just been summoned, Nayeon popped up at the kitchen threshold,
clearing her throat to announce her presence for the two girls huddled together at the far end of the
room.

"Hey, I've been looking for you." Nayeon walked in with her hands behind her back and her gaze
carefully zeroed on Jeongyeon.

"Hello to you too, I guess." Momo grumbled under her breath.

"Uh, attention seeker much? I'm sorry to break it to you but if you're feeling needy today, I'm not
the one who's gonna help you with that." Nayeon jabbed at Momo and walked over grinning as she
turned her focus back to Jeongyeon. "Guess who's got two thumbs and just destroyed Sana at beer
pong?" She pointed at herself with both thumbs and smiled even wider. "This girl!"

Jeongyeon did a pretty good job hiding the relief that came washing over her. She merely muttered
a few complaint about how stupid that game was while Momo congratulated Nayeon.

"Okay, now tell me what kind of confession you're getting out of Sana." Momo ironically air
quoted.

"Well, you'd like to know, wouldn't you?" Nayeon shot back in a rather patronizing tone just to
piss her off.

"I wouldn't be asking if I didn't, would I?" She arched an eyebrow.

"I'm afraid that's just between me and Sana." Nayeon kept smirking.

"You're so obnoxious."

"And you like me anyway."

"Yes, sure." Momo snorted and finally let go of Jeongyeon. Cast a subtle warning glance at the
goalkeeper before walking backwards toward the living room. "I like you so much that I'm going to
get the hell out of here just because you arrived. Bye."

They made faces at each other before Momo finally went out the door. Once they were alone,
Nayeon stood right in front of Jeongyeon with her arms tightly crossed against her chest and
sporting a quizzical look on her face.

"I trust that you're glad that I won." Nayeon finally said, prompting Jeongyeon to frown. "I worked
really hard so that we could keep our little secret."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean by what do I mean??" Nayeon replied as if it was obvious but faced with
Jeongyeon's lost stare she added. "I mean that if I had lost, which would never happen because I'm
amazing, I'd kinda have to kiss you in front of the whole team, so you're welcome."

"Sana said anyone." She frowned even deeper. Didn't get why Nayeon was talking like she knew
exactly what was going on.

"Yeah, but why'd I choose anyone else if I already have a perfect pair of lips which I'm already
kissing on a daily basis." Nayeon flirted. She also stepped closer, cupped her chin and lightly
rubbed her thumb over Jeongyeon's lower lip.

That action alone sent shock waves all through Jeongyeon's body, making her clench down on the
edge of the sink she was still gripping behind her back. For some reason, that thought hadn't
crossed her mind before. The fact that Nayeon could've chosen her and the consequences that it
could entail. But she gulped and went silent as she was only now considering it.

"I'm just kidding." Nayeon must have read into her silence a kind of discomfort. She took a step
back and leaned against the table, looking away. "That's just what Sana was aiming for. She was
just trying to mess with me, you know how she is. I'd never give her the satisfaction of getting
exactly what she wanted."

"What do you mean by exactly what she wanted? " Jeongyeon wasn't sure she had gotten that right.

"Just forget about it, okay? It's not a big deal. I knew I wouldn't lose, that's all that matters."

"Nayeon, did you- did you say something about- about this..." Jeongyeon signaled back and
forward between them. "About us... to Sana? Or to anyone else for that matter?"

Jeongyeon regretted asking the very second the question left her lips because she realized who had
actually told Sana about it: she did. The day after their new first kiss, if she could even call it that.

But she did tell Sana and Mina since she was so desperate to talk about what happened. She did, not
Nayeon. Sure it was before the new... arrangement she had made with Nayeon, but still the real
culprit was her. There was no one else to blame but herself.

She certainly hadn't told anyone anything about the details of their deal, but if Momo had already
figured it out maybe Sana and Mina did too. After all, they had a little more information, so they
might as well also have noticed something different.

And holy shit, Jeongyeon ended up telling Momo too - or rather just admitted it, actually, but still.
She once again managed to expose herself and bring to light what she was supposed to be keeping
in secret.
She had already spilled her guts out to three out of four of her closest friends and yet she was
standing there asking Nayeon if she was the one who did it. What a jerk.

"No, Jeongyeon, I didn't say anything." Nayeon answered in a dry and atypically dull tone. "I'm
keeping it a secret just like you asked."

"Okay." Jeongyeon nodded and tried to stop thinking about it.

Nayeon looked upset now and Jeongyeon was burdened with a guilty conscience for having
spoiled the otherwise good mood that the party was supposed to bring. So trying to lift both of their
spirits, she thought why not kill two birds with one stone? There's definitely something that would
boost Nayeon's humor and yet clear her own mind as a bonus.

"You know..." Jeongyeon shoved her hands inside her pockets, stepped forward and hovered over
Nayeon. She didn't touch her, however Nayeon immediately straightened up and looked around to
make sure no one was around, unaware that Jeongyeon herself had already done that. "If you
wanted to kiss me that badly, you didn't have to go around making dumb bets." She tilted her head
and leaned in just enough to whisper in Nayeon's ear. "All you have to do is ask."

"Wanna get out of here?" The answer was prompt and her tone was urgent.

"Go ahead." Jeongyeon proudly stepped back with a smile. "I'm right behind you."

"Enjoy the view." Nayeon boldly pecked at her lips before turning around and walking away.

Within minutes Jeongyeon was back to the rooftop of the social sciences building. Their rooftop.
Too busy getting lost in the softness of Nayeon's skin.

Up there where there was no silly antics from Sana or Momo's harshest advice to bring her back to
reality. It was just her and Nayeon in their favorite place. Sharing kisses, soft touches and holding
hands. Caressing each other and forgetting all about the worries they had had earlier that night, as
well as blocking out all the bad thoughts from the previous days. Exactly as it should be.

The problem was that it was easy to ignore everything else when she was with Nayeon.

Way too easy, to be honest.

Being with Nayeon was the perfect distraction from her real problem, which coincidentally also
happened to be the very same object of her distraction.

A few days later, for instance, everything was working together just to not go her way. The world
just felt like kicking Jeongyeon's ass.

She had a pretty important paper due that afternoon and only realized she had lost all the research
she had already done when she turned on her laptop that morning right after breakfast. She had to
skip all of her classes to rewrite the entire thing and still almost couldn't finish it in time.

To make it even worse, Jeongyeon didn't get a chance to see Nayeon or any of her friends besides
Momo the whole day. They didn't have practice that morning and she had to skip the group lunch
because of that damn paper. To be honest, she wouldn't have eaten at all if Momo hadn't pretty
much forced her to.

Fortunately, she handed in her paper three minutes before the deadline, but not before practically
having to wrestle the library's printer to make it work. And after all this trouble, she still had to
endure the professor cracking a stupid comment to his TA about how "jocks" didn't care about the
"real classes" and felt like they were better than the "real students". Yep, those were his exact
words.

Of course he only said it when he thought she was far enough not to hear it. Spoiler alert: she
wasn't. She heard everything and ignored it not to get in any trouble, but it only made her even
more upset. Gee, she wasn't even late, what's wrong with him??

At the end of the day she left campus feeling thoroughly worn out, pretty stressed, and in the mood
to break her laptop or at least to push that douchebag of a professor down the stairs. But instead of
doing any of those things, first because she couldn't afford another laptop and second because that's
not like she wanted to go to jail, she just showed up unannounced at Nayeon's apartment.

Nayeon didn't seem as surprised as Jeongyeon thought she would. Even though they hadn't so
much as texted the whole day, Nayeon just opened the door and stepped out of the way, letting the
goalkeeper come in. Jeongyeon slipped in quietly, left the backpack and her shoes at the doorway
and flopped onto the couch face first down into the cushion.

"Rough day?" Nayeon settled down on the carpet, leaning her back against the couch. She was
close enough to be in Jeongyeon's sight if she were to turn around.

"Rough life." Jeongyeon mumbled against the couch, her voice coming out muffled because of the
cushion. Nayeon chuckled softly before she started to run her fingers through Jeongyeon's hair.

"Momo mentioned that you were caught up in a paper." Jeongyeon only hummed in response but
she didn't move. The feeling of Nayeon's fingers on her scalp demanding her full attention. "I
meant to text you to check in but I thought it was best not to get in your way. How did it go?"

You should've, I missed you. The words were dancing on the tip of her tongue, but she bit them
back. Struggled to keep them from coming out.

"Mhmm." She nodded and flipped to the side, coming face to face with Nayeon. Caught her
smiling and couldn't help but think about how beautiful she was. "I finished it just in time to hear
the professor expressing his vitally important opinion on how athletes don't give a damn about
anything and all that bullshit we're painfully familiar with."

"What do you mean?" Nayeon pursed her lips. She stopped caressing Jeongyeon's hair for a
moment and the goalkeeper almost complained, but Nayeon was already up and prompting
Jeongyeon off the couch just enough for her to sit up so Jeongyeon could lay her head in her lap.

"He's a jerk!" Jeongyeon blurted out the whole story while Nayeon quietly listened and proceeded
to stroke her hair. They ended up cursing the professor enough to feel a lot lighter by the end of the
chat.

Once they got it out of their system, Nayeon followed Jeongyeon into the kitchen and they talked
more about their days while Jeongyeon cooked a quick meal for both of them. She already browsed
Nayeon's kitchen as if it was her own, she knew where everything was and was even surprised to
notice that the hostess had finally bought real groceries and other supplies she needed for cooking.

By the end of the night Nayeon had successfully got Jeongyeon to forget all of her troubles when a
text message from Momo reminded her that it was getting late and that Jeongyeon should get home
soon since they had practice early the next day.

"I should go." Jeongyeon faintly uttered after locking her phone and tossing it right back on the
coffee table. Reluctantly, she let go of Nayeon's lips to press light kisses down her jaw.
"I'm not exactly in a position to stop you." Nayeon replied breathlessly and yet playful. Her hands
were intertwined behind Jeongyeon's neck so as not to let her go too far. But Nayeon shifted her
grip to her face and pulled her back up toonnected their lips in another searing kiss.

"Nayeon..." Jeongyeon whimpered her name mid-kiss, unable to tell if she wanted her to stop or to
keep going. There was a hand on her ass now and she didn't want it to move. She had been lying on
top of Nayeon for most of the past hour and yet she felt like their bodies weren't close enough.

"Okay, alright." Nayeon let go of Jeongyeon. Raised her arms in surrender as if she had taken some
kind of blow. Feeling kind of disappointed at the easy lay off, instead of drawing back Jeongyeon
kept her head down, leaving a trail of kisses on the crook of her neck and causing Nayeon to
squirm underneath her. "Damn it, Jeongyeon. Don't- not- not like that..." She struggled to breathe it
out.

Despite the supposed words of protest, the way Nayeon was back at caressing Jeongyeon's back
under her shirt encouraged her to keep going. Her nails almost scarred her skin as she tried almost
desperately to keep to herself the muffled sounds that threatened to leave her mouth. And the fact
that Jeongyeon's right hand found its way to Nayeon's waist and possessively gripped at her side
definitely didn't help.

"Like what?" Jeongyeon whispered back without thinking. Her voice reached Nayeon's ears just
before her teeth nibbled at her lobe. She dangerously moved her knee up and gave her waist
another tight squeeze for good measure. She didn't mean to, but her voice came out husky when
she added. "Like that?"

That's when Nayeon lost every sort of grip she thought she had. She was trying really hard not to
give in, Jeongyeon knew it. She knew because she was trying pretty hard too. But then Nayeon
muttered something under her breath that sounded a lot like a "fuck it" rigth before pulling herself
up along with Jeongyeon just to push her to the other end of the couch and flip their positions. And
that's when Jeongyeon was sure she was about to lose it too.

Jeongyeon fell back onto the couch propping herself up on her elbows not to lie down altogether,
but she gave Nayeon enough space so she could settle properly on her thighs. She couldn't take her
eyes off her, just looked at her in anticipation waiting for another kiss, another touch or anything at
that point, really. However, Nayeon just put her hands on Jeongyeon's shoulders and slowly pushed
her down until her back was flat on the leather.

Locking eyes with her, Nayeon leaned even closer until their noses were almost brushing together.
One of her hands cupped Jeongyeon's jaw and her thumb traced an invisible line over her lower lip.
Jeongyeon almost melted as she caught the way Nayeon was watching her. Sheer lust all over her
features.

But the kiss she was hoping for never really came because Nayeon yet again had other plans for
her. All Jeongyeon could do was close her eyes and throw her head back as Nayeon's lips merciless
assaulted her neck and a warm hand tentatively explored the exposed skin between her pants and
the hem of her shirt.

It was exciting. Viciously addictive, wildly arousing and fuck- Jeongyeon's mind reeled as Nayeon
pressed her hips a little harder.

Whilst Jeongyeon had placed what she thought were harmless kisses all over Nayeon's body
earlier, now Nayeon was retaliating with tongue, teeth and an unmatched sense of determination.

She had no idea how much time had passed. Maybe two minutes, maybe two hours. She didn't care
either. As far as she was concerned she could stay there forever. All she knew was that she didn't
have the strength or even any kind of desire to get out of there. She just let Nayeon hack into her
every sense - it wasn't like she had a choice - and thoroughly relished while she explored every bit
of skin she saw fit.

Then Jeongyeon finally sent to hell every instinct of self-preservation she might still have and
decided that she just needed to get rid of every bit of fabric that was still coming between them.
Built up the courage to get a hold of the hem of Nayeon's shirt and was about to ask her if she
could take it off when Nayeon stopped on her track and seemed to finally come back to her senses.

"Wait-" Nayeon drew back with a sharp inhale. Put her hands over Jeongyeon's, who almost
whined at the sudden lack of contact. "I'd love to keep going and make you pay for your deeds,
but," Her breathing was labored. Cheeks flushed red and pupils dilated. Her mouth was a little
agape and Jeongyeon could swear she had never seen anything so sexy in her entire life. "I think
Momo is pretty set on getting her roommate back tonight." She nodded toward the phone silently
ringing on the coffee table. A picture of Momo's smiling face flashing big and bright on the screen.
"So I'll let you off the hook this time."

Nayeon placed one last chaste kiss on Jeongyeon's lips before standing up and fixing her clothes.
Jeongyeon intended to do the same, but chose to sit down on the couch when she realized that she
was feeling a little lightheaded.

She grabbed her phone to send a quick text to Momo. Kept looking at the device in her hands to
avoid Nayeon's gaze. She felt like she was on fire and was well aware that she was as flushed as
she thought she was, if not more. Jeongyeon was also a little breathless both because of the
previous activities and also because of how embarrassed she was feeling at that moment.

"You're a little..." Hearing the amusement in Nayeon's voice Jeongyeon made the mistake of
looking at her. Nayeon had tried to fix her hair but failed miserably, although Jeongyeon would
rather say heavenly. But then she realized that Nayeon was pointing at something. At her? "Here,
let me help."

Nayeon drew closer and pulled the goalkeeper to her feet. They were facing each other as she ran
her hands through Jeongyeon's face and hair, fixing the mess she had made with steady, and yet
gentle touches. She also smoothed her shirt and brushed her thumb over her lips to wipe away some
of the lipstick that had been left behind.

It made sense, Jeongyeon thought. Nayeon turned her into a mess so it was only fair that she'd also
be there to put her together. In more ways than one.

But then the touches were halted and Nayeon's eyes lingered. She just stared at her for a few
seconds trying to piece together the words she wanted to free.

"I- I gotta go." Jeongyeon almost couldn't bring herself to say it under that kind of gaze, but she
needed to go. Really needed to. Didn't want it though, but she knew she would crack if she stayed.

"Okay." Nayeon nodded and took a step back. Even though she wasn't touching her anymore, it
was still like something was holding her there.

"Momo is gonna kill me if I get home too late, I'd better go." She added as if she needed to justify
herself. Reluctantly stepped away and started to pick up her things around the room. Almost
stumbled on the carpet too, but she didn't mind.

Nayeon just stood there. Still. Watching. And with a brief nod Jeongyeon headed to the door,
mumbling hushed goodbyes and good nights under her breath.

"Jeongyeon?" She was already holding the doorknob when her ex-girlfriend's deep voice made her
freeze. She stopped. Jumpy, but still. She could've kept going but she stopped. Could've opened the
door and left. Could've pretended not to listen, but when would she ever not listen to the voice she
loved the most in the world?

She didn't turn around, but she heard Nayeon approaching her slowly. Felt her arms wrapping
around her from behind and then her cheek resting between her shoulder blades.

Nayeon just stood there for a moment, but when she spoke again all the previous amusement was
gone. Only worry dripping from her tone. "We're good?"

When Jeongyeon looked back on that day a few months from now, she could pinpoint that as the
exact moment she should've admitted to herself that she was a goner. Her red flag, if she must. The
sign she wasn't supposed to ignore.

When she quickly put aside all her own worries and turned around to hug Nayeon properly. Trying
to make her feel good. Trying to make her feel safe and reassured. She smiled when she noticed her
ex-girlfriend standing on the tip of her toes to nuzzle her chin on her shoulder.

"Of course we are." She nodded reassuringly, hugged her tighter and stood there for a while. But
the moment was interrupted by the phone vibrating inside her pocket again.

She bid Nayeon goodbye with a soft kiss on her temple before stepping out and actually going
home. Jeongyeon did her best to pull herself together as soon as the elevator's doors finally closed
and left her alone. She also spent the whole way home scolding herself for how easily she lost
control of herself whenever she was with Nayeon.

It was okay to share a few kisses and get a little carried away with the blissful feelings of each
other's wondering hands, but they couldn't possibly make this situation any more complicated by
adding sex into the mix.

If the deal was to re-enact the barely verbal arrangement they had in high school then sex was
definitely off the table. But if it hadn't been for Nayeon - and Momo, God bless her - it could've
gone so fucking south. Like, literally.

But it was already way too damned as it was, Jeongyeon couldn't afford to cross that line and
complicated things any further. No, no. Nope. They couldn't go there. She would've to work on it.

So with that in mind Jeongyeon tried her best to stop her mind from wondering what might have
happened if Momo hadn't fucking called. Also tried to ignore how much her body was still wide
awake with the memory of each of Nayeon's touches which were still burning her skin.

It was better this way, it was better this way, it was better this way. She kept repeating it to herself
all the way home as if it was a mantra. And yet, when she got home and found Momo
absentmindedly watching TV all by herself in their shared living room, Jeongyeon let her irrational
self speak louder: she smacked the back of her roommate's head as she made her way to the hall.

"Hey! What's that for?!" Momo knelt on the couch, rubbing her head. She also tried to throw a
cushion at the Jeongyeon, but it didn't go anywhere near her.

"Because you deserve it!" Jeongyeon shouted back. Ignored her friend's confused murmurs and
unintelligible complaints without looking back.
 She'd handle Momo later, Jeongyeon told herself as she walked straight to the bathroom. She
needed a cold shower before she could deal with anything else.

Chapter End Notes

i'll probably update one more time before the end of the year but thank you in advance
to all of you who took the time to read this story this year
thanks for reading, for leaving kudos and for the comments because I love reading
your inputs
until next time!
 some people are worth breaking the rules for
Chapter Summary

Because it was seeing Nayeon like that, up close, and taking in how unfairly beautiful
she was; noticing the way her cheeks were flushed all the way down to her neck and
how her freshly kissed lips were slightly pinky and incredibly inviting; catching how
those big brown eyes looked at her in awe and... yeah, all of that. All those little things
always made Jeongyeon forget that she and Nayeon weren't actually together anymore.

It was always brief and highly heartbreaking whenever she realized that she had let
herself get carried away again, but damn, Jeongyeon couldn't lie and say that she didn't
like that feeling.

Chapter Notes

pretty much just fluff oh how i love it here

See the end of the chapter for more notes

The season kicked off with a home game, so they were glad to have the support of their crowd to
smooth the tension and lift up the spirits since the first semester was always a mess. That's when
the regular season took place while the playoffs were held in the second half of the year.

As one of the best varsity teams, Yonsei was part of the Big Ten League. The championship was
actually named after a super old player turned politician like three decades ago, but that's how the
students called it since it was basically the epitome of the college sports community.

They had to complete multiple matches in a four-month span and stay at the top of the table to
clinch a spot in the playoffs. All between studying, training, playing and traveling to away matches
in trips that sometimes lasted the whole weekend. But they all knew how important it was to do
well in the first games since at the end of the semester the stress of the exams was piled up on top
of the pressure as well.

Unfortunately, Jeongyeon knew all too well how all that pressure could have a negative impact on
every aspect of their lives. She really didn't want to make the same mistakes again, she wouldn't let
it get the best of her anymore. Not when it came to her and definitely not when it came to the
people she loved as well.

That's why she focused a special amount of attention on her best friend for their opening week.
Jihyo was harder on herself than on anyone else, so Jeongyeon did her best to reassure her since she
knew how anxious she was about her first game as captain in Yonsei.

But anyone who saw her giving the pre-match pep talk in the locker room would never have
imagined that this was the same girl who was a nervous wreck during the entire week. Jihyo was
born to be a leader and Jeongyeon made sure to tell her that at the end of her speech. She expressed
her support and clapped along with the rest of the team as they huddled up together.
Minutes before the game, they gradually started to leave the locker room. Most of them were eager
to chat with their non-player friends on the stands before the mandatory warm-ups. But just as
Jeongyeon was about to walk out the door and into the tunnel, she noticed another rather nervous
person pacing at the back of the locker room.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jeongyeon stayed back and asked as soon as the last player left the premises.

"What??" Nayeon was startled for a moment, but once she realized that the voice talking to her
belonged to Jeongyeon she went back to pacing. "Yeah, sure. I'm fine."

"The hole you're about to dig into the ground might have a different opinion about that." Jeongyeon
drew a chair and sat down closer to Nayeon.

"I'm just exercising a little bit, you know? Can't get out of shape." Nayeon half-joked but she didn't
look at Jeongyeon.

"Nayeon." She called her out in a firm undertone that nearly made Nayeon stop pacing, but she just
flinched and kept avoiding eye contact.

"I'm fine."

"Then stop biting your nails." Nayeon stopped that time. Both the biting and the pacing. It might
not seem like a big deal but Jeongyeon knew those signs well. "What's the matter?"

"Fuck, sorry." Nayeon put her hands behind her back in an attempt to kick the bad habit, but went
back to walking back and forth anyway. "I'm okay, just a little nervous I guess."

"No, we're the ones who are a little nervous." Jeongyeon crossed her arms and leaned back in the
chair to get more comfortable. "You're acting like that one time Jihyo had six espressos to pull an
all-nighter and ended up shivering just like an angry pinscher."

Nayeon chuckled and stopped walking again. Her shoulders relaxed a little but she still avoided her
ex-girlfriend's gaze. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, you didn't do anything wrong." Jeongyeon tried to read something on her
features but failed to find anything but anxiety. "Wanna talk about it? Whatever is bothering you."

Nayeon took a few seconds to think. Jeongyeon was aware that the rest of the team was out there
on the field, probably already warming up. At some point someone was bound to come looking for
her, but while that didn't happen, she just waited and watched Nayeon, who drew a deep breath,
fiddled with her fingers and kept doing her best to avoid Jeongyeon's eyes.

"I feel like it's my first game all over again." Nayeon finally blurted out and Jeongyeon was glad
because she used that tone. The one she always used when she was about to go on a rant. "And I
don't even remember exactly how my first real game was because I was just a kid, but I probably
handled it way better there than I'm trying- keyword being trying to handle it now."

"It's okay, I get it." Jeongyeon said sympathetically, but still tried to use logic to calm her down.
"But that's not even your first game this season. We played against Sogang a while ago."

"Official. I meant like in an official schedule. That one was just a friendly."

"Right, but you've been to official matches before. Games far more important than a simple season
opener. You've always done a good job and-"
"As a player, yes. But it's different now, it's..." Nayeon looked even more uneasy and the last words
got stuck in the back of her throat.

"It's what?" Jeongyeon coaxed. Gentle enough to let her know that she didn't have to say anything
if she didn't want to.

"This is my last chance to be good at something I love." There was something else in her voice- in
her eyes even, but the goalkeeper couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. "I can't afford to fail again."

There it was. She didn't need to say anything else. Jeongyeon knew where that feeling was coming
from and she felt an overwhelming need to comfort her.

But Nayeon finally looked at Jeongyeon again and then she realized.

Fear. She was so afraid it struck a pang in Jeongyeon's heart.

"You haven't failed, Nayeonie." Jeongyeon frowned and stood up, but didn't move any closer. "It's
not like you just gave up. You got injured, that's not your fault."

Nayeon leaned against the wall and glanced at Jeongyeon before staring back at the floor.
Jeongyeon had a feeling Nayeon wanted to say something else, but the ensuing silence proved that
she wasn't ready yet.

"I know you." So Jeongyeon kept going. "I'm sure it was hard for you when you had to make the
decision. To stop, I mean. But you had to, you didn't quit. Like you said, it sucks but it happened.
There's nothing you could do about it and it doesn't mean you failed."

Remembering Nayeon's speech on that first practice she attended that season, Jeongyeon chose her
words wisely and was extra careful not to say anything wrong. Nayeon told them that she could
still play, which she had already proved a few weeks ago at the court. But she also said that she
couldn't give her best anymore, so she chose to end her professional career right there. And
Jeongyeon respected that call maybe more than anyone else because she knew it wasn't an easy
decision to make. She herself, when she found to be in exactly the same position, opted to keep
playing even though all the risks and pain she had been enduring so often.

All because she wasn't ready to let go yet. But Nayeon was and she had to admire that.
Nevertheless, Nayeon looked so atypically small and vulnerable under her gaze that Jeongyeon
almost gave in to the urge to give up the talk and just hold her close. But amid the overwhelming
need to comfort her, she thought it was about time to share something that had been on her mind
ever since Nayeon dropped the news.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Jeongyeon whispered just loud enough for her to hear. "You
were there for me when it happened to me, but when it happened to you I-"

"It's not like I gave you that much of a choice." Yes, it was true. But then why didn't it ease the
guilt she was feeling?

"My point is that you were born for this, Nayeon. You don't have to worry about the prospect of
failure because you haven't failed. Never have and never will. You'll only fail if you let it stop
yourself from trying."

Jeongyeon held eye contact and watched Nayeon's features change while she took in her words.
She nodded faintly as if accepting that argument, but still seemed to be somewhat unwilling about
something. When Nayeon finally spoke again, Jeongyeon wished she could've prepared herself
better so that she would have reacted differently.
"Someone..." She bit her lip. Hesitated for a moment, as if she was deciding whether or not to
continue. "Someone told me that what happened to me was a sign." She breathed out. "A sign that I
should drop this soccer bullshit and pursue a real career with a real future." Nayeon nodded to
herself. "And also that it was only a matter of time before I realized that."

She didn't need to drop a name for Jeongyeon to know exactly who she's talking about.
Nevertheless, an overpowering rage took over and she stepped forward in an urge to stress it out.

"I'm pretty sure that this someone never bothered to really get to know you to have the nerve to say
that kind of shit. Never cared to know how talented you are on and off the field, or how hard you
work when you really want something because this someone-" Jeongyeon suddenly stopped when
she noticed she was raising her voice. Embarrassed, she took a step back and looked away. "Fuck,
I'm sorry. I just- shit, I didn't mean to snap."

Jeongyeon felt bad for losing her temper even though her anger wasn't intended for Nayeon at all.
She turned away and took a deep breath, accidentally kicking the chair she was using a few
minutes ago as she started pacing around the locker room just as Nayeon had done before. But this
time it was Jeongyeon doing her best to calm herself down.

"It's okay, I get it." She heard Nayeon's sweet voice coming from a distance but she didn't have the
heart to look at her. Oh, the tables have turned.

Jeongyeon sat down again. Choose one of the long benches near the lockers. Propped her elbows
on her knees and hid her face between her hands to try to cover her frustration. She was growing
more and more angry each time Nayeon's mother would come up.

Granted, she had always hated that woman, of course, but she had never shown this kind of
behavior before. Why the hell was this happening now if she had always kept it in check for all
those years?

You really need to work on that, Jeongyeon told herself, that's not your place anymore, get a grip.

Then she felt a presence next to her. Nayeon sat down on the same bench but not as close as she'd
like.

"Jeongyeon." She felt a hand touch her arm at the same moment her favorite voice reached her
ears. She knew Nayeon wanted her to look at her, and she wanted to, she really did. But that wasn't
a side of herself she wished to show to anyone, especially not to Nayeon and especially not now.
"It's okay." She quietly added. "I wish I had it in me to hate her like you do."

That was enough to make her budge. She turned around and hesitantly looked at Nayeon again.
Locked eyes and could almost feel the anxiety coming from her.

There were many things Jeongyeon wanted to talk about. She feared whatever that woman could
possibly be doing to have that much power over her daughter. She wished she could ask and fully
understand what it meant. But there was a time and place, not here and not now. So even with a
heavy heart she settled to try to comfort and convey the confidence Nayeon needed right now.

"Hey, hear me out." Jeongyeon reached for the hand which Nayeon had formerly put on her arm
and held it between her own, lightly squeezing it. "You were great in our last game and you'll do
just fine in the next ones as well. But you have to keep in mind that you're still a student. A intern,
for fuck's sake, literally the very bottom of the food chain. So please don't be too hard on yourself
because you're still in a learning process. Besides, you got a great mentor to help you out and put
you back on the right path if you do something wrong. And this mentor also happens to know that
you're perfect for the job. You know she hadn't allowed an intern to join the crew for years, so trust
me, Coach Bae wouldn't accept you if she didn't know you had what it takes."

"Honestly, that's kind of what scares me the most." Nayeon slipped closer and placed her other
hand on Jeongyeon's thigh. "I feel like she really trusts me, Jeong. Like, she really... listen to me?
My feedback on the practices, my inputs on our games. Strategies, everything. And I don't know if
she should."

"Of course she should." Jeongyeon unconsciously got a hold of her other hand as well. They had
both hands intertwined over the goalkeeper's lap now. "It's not like you're a layman. We all know
you have the expertises, you've been doing this since you're born. If she listens to you it's because
she also knows and trusts you as well."

"But- but what if-" Her voice grew more edgy. "What if I disappoint her too?"

That word felt like a dagger playing on Jeongyeon's skin. Too. That was far deeper than just game
jitters. Someone had really managed to make Nayeon feel like she was some kind of failure and
Jeongyeon wasn't there to show her otherwise.

At that moment it didn't even matter that her absence hadn't been her choice, all that mattered was
that Jeongyeon had to let Nayeon know that any poor take anyone might have about her or her
choices was nothing but bullshit.

"Nayeon," Jeongyeon moved even closer until their thighs were touching. "Coach Bae is not her."

Jeongyeon felt her wince between her hands, flinching and looking away. Nayeon even tried to free
her hands from Jeongyeon's hold, but she wouldn't let her, she tightened her grip instead.

"Look at me, please?" Jeongyeon whispered and Nayeon reluctantly met her eyes. "You know I'm
right. Bae trusts you. And we all know how uptight she is about utterly everything. So I can assure
you that you wouldn't be in this position if she didn't think you deserved it. You've fucking earned
it, Nayeon. Let yourself enjoy it." She smiled warmly. "You're good and you're talented. Relentless
in the best way possible. And you're absolutely committed to everything you do. The only thing
you seem to lack right now is someone who supports you, so I'm gonna be that person. I'll be here
to tell you as many times as it takes just how amazing you are and how much I believe in you
because-"

Nayeon cut Jeongyeon off with a kiss and holy shit, how she missed that. It had only been a few
days since the last time - because Jeongyeon had been so embarrassed by the almost incident in
Nayeon's apartment that she hadn't had the guts to be alone with her again up until now - but yeah,
she still missed it. Missed her.

Nayeon took Jeongyeon's face between her hands and didn't dare to rush it, making the most of it
as if they had all the time in the world. Their position on the bench wasn't exactly ideal, but they'd
take what they could get.

Jeongyeon could feel all her previous worries slipping out of her mind one by one. Nayeon softly
trailed her hands on the fabric of Jeongyeon's jersey while Jeongyeon dug her fingers in her hair,
trying her best not to ruin her high ponytail.

When Nayeon broke the kiss - way sooner than Jeongyeon would've liked - with a lingering peck
that made her heart skip a few beats, Jeongyeon was a little dazed when she realized she was
holding Nayeon's waist for dear life.
"Thank you." Nayeon whispered against her lips and Jeongyeon wished that moment could last
forever. She reached out and pursued Nayeon's lips again but her ex-girlfriend drew away with a
quiet laugh.

Jeongyeon opened her eyes to find Nayeon's still shut. The sound of a loud whistle blowing far
away let them know that the warm-ups was either beginning or ending, Jeongyeon couldn't really
tell but she really hoped it was the former otherwise she would probably be in trouble.

She didn't know what had gotten into her, but she reacted and placed several kisses all over
Nayeon's face. Nose, chin, cheeks and mouth, basically every inch she could reach. Eliciting a
hearty laugh from her ex-girlfriend and prompting her to finally open her eyes as she half-heartedly
tried to dodge the assaults.

"You better get going if you don't wanna get scolded for being late." Jeongyeon put some space
between them and tilted her head to the side. Couldn't help but stare at Nayeon's lips.

"I know." Nayeon got a hold of Jeongyeon's jaw and drew her in for one last kiss before letting go
of her. "Can't have that on my first day."

"Yeah." Jeongyeon nodded but didn't move. She kept staring at Nayeon as if she was mesmerized
by her.

Because it was seeing Nayeon like that, up close, and taking in how unfairly beautiful she was;
noticing the way her cheeks were flushed all the way down to her neck and how her freshly kissed
lips were slightly pinky and incredibly inviting; catching how those big brown eyes looked at her in
awe and... yeah, all of that. All those little things always made Jeongyeon forget that she and
Nayeon weren't actually together anymore.

It was always brief and highly heartbreaking whenever she realized that she had let herself get
carried away again, but damn, Jeongyeon couldn't lie and say that she didn't like that feeling.

"But for that you have to actually let me go, Jeong." Nayeon giggled, looking down to where
Jeongyeon was still gripping tightly at her waist.

But I never want to let you go again. She didn't say it, of course, instead she nodded and bit her lip
to keep it in as she finally let go of her.

"Right. Okay." Jeongyeon slid further away on the bench to put some distance between them. She
drew away from Nayeon feeling an overwhelming emptiness inside her chest.

"Wanna go first?" Nayeon stood up, groomed her clothes and hair as she always did after making
out with her ex-girlfriend.

"No, go ahead. I'll be out in a minute." She nodded again with a tight-lipped smile as she watched
Nayeon walk backwards toward the exit.

"I'd wish you luck but we both know you don't need it." Nayeon winked at her and then she was
gone out the door.

Still feeling a bit overwhelmed, Jeongyeon lay down on the bench and stared at the ceiling ready to
go over that entire conversation inside her head, but the sound of yet another obnoxious whistle
brought her back to reality once again. Oh, that's right, they still had a game to play. So she quickly
got up and sprinted towards the field only to find her captain pretty pissed at her

"Where the hell were you??" Jihyo went off as soon as she got closer, repeatedly jabbing her arm.
"Uh, sorry. My bad, I got a little distracted." She tried to defend herself by handing a pair of gloves
to Jihyo.

"You better get your head in the game, Yoo." The defender harangued as she helped her friend put
on her goalkeeping gloves. "There's no way we're losing our season opener at home."

"Don't worry, Cap." Jeongyeon promised as she glanced at Nayeon standing by Bae on the
sidelines. "I'd die before letting it happen."

It was a good game, all in all. Great, even. A nice win with another clean sheet for Yonsei. Tzuyu
made a great debut with two goals and worked incredibly well with both Sana and Momo in the
midfield. Jihyo led her defense crew flawlessly and Jeongyeon also handled the few dangerous
balls in the box.

The excited cheers from the crowd definitely boosted the team's confidence, but the presence of
one person in particular was what pushed Jeongyeon into doing an even better job. Every time she
felt safe enough to take a glance at the sidelines, there was Nayeon with a clipboard in her hands
trailing closely behind Bae.

Coach was shouting strict calls even though the team was leading the score. Nayeon was just as
focused and Jeongyeon repeatedly saw her mentor pointing to different places on the field while
giving instructions to Nayeon, who nodded vigorously at every word while she kept taking notes.

Nayeon was going to be great, Jeongyeon already knew that, but she was even more sure after that
match. She made a point of telling Nayeon that again later over the phone, before the usual
goodnight text they had been sending each other every night. Genuinely hoping that Nayeon
believed in herself just as much as Jeongyeon did.

A few days later it was Nayeon's turn to knock on Jeongyeon's door with the lamest possible
excuse. Not that Jeongyeon minded. She didn't, not at all.

"What's up?" Jeongyeon stepped out of the apartment and leaned back at the door behind her,
choosing to talk to Nayeon in the hallway.

"I've got your coat." Nayeon handed over a piece of clothing which was previously hidden behind
her back, but the goalkeeper didn't remember taking a jacket the last time she had been at Nayeon's
place. And she should remember since it had been literally the day before.

"I don't think that's mi-"

"It is. Here, take it." Nayeon pushed the jacket onto Jeongyeon's chest, who had no choice but to
accept the piece.

"Okay..." Jeongyeon took a better look at it and her eyes widened once she noticed that it was in
fact an old varsity jacket. Her varsity jacket, to be exact. Couldn't help but be surprised as she
realized Nayeon was right. "Woah there, look what we have here. Took you long enough, huh?"

"Yeah, sorry about that. I've been kind of busy." Nayeon didn't seem the least bit sorry like she said
she was. "Oh, and I finally unpacked all those boxes. You don't have to worry about your pinky
clashing with any of them anymore."

"You mean the ones from the hallway?"

Ah yes, Jeongyeon was painfully familiar with the dusty boxes long forgotten in a corner of
Nayeon's apartment. Painfully being the keyword, since they seem to have an evil ongoing feud
with her feet.

Even though she knew it wasn't her place to complain, all of that mess still bothered Jeongyeon
every time she was over there. Besides, all that dust couldn't be good for Nayeon's rhinitis, and to
make it worse, she had lost count of how many times she had stumbled over them on her way to
the bathroom. It hurt, you know?

Trying to sound unbothered and failing miserably at it, just the day before Jeongyeon had
unpretentiously mentioned that she could help her ex-girlfriend unpack those items if she wanted.
But Nayeon passed on the offer and said that they had more pressing matters to attend to before
leading her to the couch.

"Yep, all of them."

"Wow, I thought you'd never put that away."

"Please show some respect. I just haven't had time yet." She deadpanned.

"Oh yeah, sure, you're a pretty busy woman." She scoffed and took another brief look at her jacket.
"You didn't have to come all this way just for that, you know? You could've given it back to me
when I- uh." Jeongyeon stepped further away from the door and toned her voice down. "When I
dropped by your place again."

"I couldn't wait." She shot right away and Jeongyeon finally noticed.

There was something else in her voice... in her gaze that seemed... off. Bothered or maybe sad?
Jeongyeon was deciding whether or not to ask when a loud cry of frustration coming from
somewhere inside her apartment cut the moment short.

"Are you holding Momo hostage in there or something?" Nayeon nodded at the way Jeongyeon
was keeping the door conveniently closed behind her, as if she was actually hiding something. Or
someone.

"What?? No! Momo is off to the Beach House today. She's all Dahyun's, but Sana and Mina are
here. We're playing and they can get a bit rowdy sometimes."

"Oh... okay, I thought we could- ah, never mind. I'll let you come back, then." Nayeon was about
to turn around when Jeongyeon stopped her.

"No, wait!" Jeongyeon got a hold of her wrist and her hand quickly reached down to intertwine
their fingers. "You can stay if you want. If you don't have other plans, I mean."

"You sure?" Nayeon hesitated and Jeongyeon felt her grip growing stronger.

"Of course." She gently tugged back at her hand. "We're playing a new game some of Mina's
friends sent from Japan. It's a little violent, actually. And confusing even." Jeongyeon grimaced,
remembering all the time she had already been killed in the game. "But you don't have to play if
you don't want to. You can just hang out."

"Yeah, I'd like that." Nayeon nodded with a genuine smile and Jeongyeon almost got lost in there,
but thankfully another shriek pulled her back.

"Hey, I'm back." Jeongyeon announced as she walked in with Nayeon, but she was careful enough
to let go of her hand before getting too close.

Sana and Mina were sitting side by side on the couch, basically laying on each other. Joysticks in
hands and oblivious to the rest of the world. Both of them were way too focused on the TV and
didn't seem to have noticed Jeongyeon's return or even her absence at all.

"Would you like something to drink? Or a snack maybe?" Jeongyeon offered.

"Nah, I'm cool." Sana answered and Mina shook her head.

"I'm not talking to you guys." Jeongyeon rolled her eyes and caught the sight of Nayeon watching
the pair with an amused smile on her face.

"What? Then what the hell-" Sana paused the game and finally turned around to acknowledge
Nayeon's presence. She made a face while Mina just uttered a soft oh, hi Nayeon. "Great. Look
what the cat dragged in."

"We don't have a cat." Jeongyeon replied flatly.

"Oh my bad, you're a tiger." Sana winked, prompting Jeongyeon to cringe in response. Mina
giggled and Nayeon just rolled her eyes.

"Well, hello to you too." Nayeon greeted her, not seeming to be the least bit affected by Sana. In
fact, her smile grew even wider.

"What are you doing here?" Sana asked as if she was in her own place.

"Don't be rude." Mina scolded her with a slight shoulder shove.

"Right. Sure. Uh, to what do I owe the pleasure? Did someone summon you by accident or what?"

"I invited her." Jeongyeon cut in before Nayeon could retaliate with an insult of her own.

"To play video games?? You called her of all people?" Sana scoffed. "Jeongyeon, dear, she's the
biggest hater I know! Don't you remember that one time she made the entire team call both of us
Weird and Weirdo for like a whole month after The Last Of Us?" Sana recalled the little incident
that had happened when she and Jeongyeon were still roommates in their freshman year.

"At least I was just the Weird." Jeongyeon spoke quietly as if that was something to be proud of.

"I mean, you asked for it, Weirdo." Nayeon argued back, not daring to miss a single shot at teasing
Sana. "The two of you spent three whole weekdays in a dark room, even missed your classes and
you're lucky we didn't have practice. Momo and I had to physically force feed you, besides the fact
that we basically had to thread you into taking a shower! Someone had to to intervene so it
wouldn't happen again."

"By bullying us?!" Sana cocked her eyebrows.

"Yeah, isn't that obvious?" She replied flatly. "Trauma is the most effective way to imprint
something in one's memory."

"Okay, hold on." Mina interrupted their little argument. "You guys didn't shower for like three days
because of a game, is that right?"

"No!!" Jeongyeon said at the same time Sana squeaked a "We did!!", making both Nayeon and
Mina burst into laughter.
"We took turns playing, okay? She's just overdoing it." Jeongyeon felt like she had to clarify.

"My point is," Sana cleared her throat and resumed the previous subject. Her face flushed red with
embarrassment. "Nayeon sucks. I bet she won't even make it past the first round."

"You should be more careful about betting against me, Sana, we all know it didn't work out so well
for you last time. And I haven't come to collect my prize yet, so I'd also be nicer to myself if I were
you." Nayeon cheekily replied, crossing her arms and smirking at the midfielder.

"Shut up and let's play already." Sana pouted and turned back to TV before Nayeon could say
anything else.

After Sana and Mina finished the match they had paused, they all settled into the living room to
watch the so-called show that Nayeon was supposed to bring. Her own words, obviously.

However, as expected, Nayeon was downright terrible. Jeongyeon and Sana were nearly breathless
from how much they were laughing while Mina tried to hold back and patiently taught step by step
what she was supposed to do. They ordered food and spent the whole evening taking turns playing
multiple games between the switches Mina had brought and Jeongyeon's playstation. It was a nice
date night with her friends and... well, Nayeon. The kind that made Jeongyeon realize just how
much she had been missing.

The pizzas were already gone by the time Jeongyeon and Sana were in the middle of a Mario Kart
clash because according to Mina, a game night without Mario Kart wouldn't be an actual game
night. That's when something in the corner of Jeongyeon's eyes caught her attention. Since the
room was pretty much dark, a dim light managed to distract her just enough for Sana to get the
upper hand. It was Nayeon's phone, she realized soon enough. The device was ringing silently on
the coffee table and Jeongyeon let her character slip when she glanced to see a plain "mom"
flashing across the screen.

"Come on, Jeongyeonie. It's like you ain't even trying!" Sana made fun of her when her Mario took
the lead over Jeongyeon's Princess Peach.

"I'm just warming up." Jeongyeon answered half-heartedly, but she couldn't quite focus her full
attention on the game when she noticed Nayeon worriedly staring at her phone.

Sana and Mina were completely oblivious both to the conflict going on in Nayeon's head, and the
mix of concern and anger Jeongyeon was feeling as she acknowledged once again the power that
woman still had over the girl sitting next to her.

The whole thing couldn't have lasted more than ten seconds, but for Jeongyeon it surely felt like an
eternity. Nayeon leaned over to reach for the phone and Jeongyeon felt every muscle in her body
tensing up, but when all Nayeon did was press the red button to dismiss the call, Jeongyeon was
finally able to breathe again. She also turned the phone screen down so she wouldn't be disturbed
anymore, but the look on her face was still somewhat uneasy.

Jeongyeon really wanted to ask if she was okay. Or rather ask how she was feeling, that would
certainly be more suitable. She really wanted to comfort Nayeon and make sure she knew that she
shouldn't feel guilty about it. Wanted to tell that she was proud of her for standing up and putting
herself first, no matter how ridiculous it might sound.

But the moment wasn't fit for that, there were other people around. Jeongyeon was pretty sure
Nayeon wouldn't want her family business to be discussed in the middle of a casual evening among
friends. So all Jeongyeon could do was take one of her hands off the switch to place it on Nayeon's
knee and give it a gentle squeeze. She apparently hadn't noticed she was being watched, so she was
a bit startled at first. But all it took was a lock of eyes for her to understand both the gesture and the
comforting approving nod Jeongyeon cast her way.

Of course it also sent Jeongyeon's kart crashing right into a wall, sealing Sana's victory and
prompting a year worth of teasing and jokes from both the other girls by their side. They still had
no clue about what was going on between the former couple and that was okay, they didn't need to
know. They could tease her, Jeongyeon didn't mind. Not as long as Nayeon would keep smiling
like that.

"I think that's our cue." Mina started to gather her things after a few more minutes. "It's getting
late."

Nayeon was playing Mortal Kombat against Jeongyeon, who was outraged to be losing when all
Nayeon was doing was pushing all buttons haphazardly.

"You're right." Sana got up to help Mina clean some of the mess they had made. "We can drop you
off if you want." She offered Nayeon, who was too busy to look at her.

"What? Oh, right. No, thanks. I'm driving." She didn't take her eyes off the screen.

"Gee, thank God there's probably no one on the streets by now."

"Fuck off."

Sana and Mina bid their goodbyes to the other two by patting Nayeon's shoulder and dramatically
kissing Jeongyeon's cheek. The latter almost punched the two of them for trying to take her
attention off the game.

"Yes!! Who's the greatest in Kombat? Fuck yeah, that's me!" Jeongyeon jumped to her feet,
celebrating with a little dance.

"I literally just learned how to play and you almost lost anyway." Nayeon cocked an eyebrow,
unimpressed. "I think your standards are kinda low."

"And I think you're a sore loser, but that's okay because no one can be good at everything."
Jeongyeon sat down again wearing a crooked happy grin.

"Whatever." Nayeon rolled her eyes and dropped the joystick on the couch. Also laid back and
crossed her legs as if she didn't really care. It all drew a hearty laugh out of Jeongyeon, who threw
her head back and also made herself more comfortable on the couch.

They were so distracted in that bubble that only then did they realize that they were actually alone.

Nayeon looked around as if she didn't know what to do next and Jeongyeon noticed that she had
that look on her face again. The same facade she had when she knocked on the door earlier. The
same one which also reminded Jeongyeon of how she stared at the phone displaying her mother's
call barely an hour ago.

"I guess I'll be off then." Nayeon stood up, slowly walking towards the door.

"Where did you park? I'll walk you there." Jeongyeon trailed behind her.

"Oh- uh, I walked here. But it's late now so I'll just get an uber."
"What?" Jeongyeon frowned. "Then why didn't you take Sana's offer for a ride? I thought you had
worked things out."

"We did, we're fine." Nayeon chuckled softly. "I just didn't want to be stuck alone in a car with
Sana and Mina. The sexual tension would most definitely suffocate me."

The what???

"The what???" Her eyebrows shot up in surprise as Jeongyeon stopped in her tracks.

"Hold up." Nayeon also came to a halt and turned to Jeongyeon. Dubiously squinted her eyes and
pointed a finger at her. "You... wait, you really don't know?"

"Know what??" She asked confused, almost exasperated.

"Jeong, I can't believe you..." Nayeon couldn't keep herself from guffawing. Like chortles, full
belly, hearty laughter. She smacked Jeongyeon's arm and had to lean against the door to get a hold
of herself while the other girl just stared at her, dumbfounded.

What on earth did Nayeon know about her friends that she didn't?

Jeongyeon even sulked at first, but it didn't last long. If it was any other scenario or rather any other
person, she'd definitely be annoyed by now. But at that moment she even put her curiosity aside
because it had been a long time since she had seen her ex-girlfriend in stitches like that.

The way Nayeon laughed with her whole body had always been endearing and heartwarming to
her, and that particular moment also made her think back to the old days when she was the reason
behind it. Her arm was already aching from Nayeon's blows, but Jeongyeon couldn't help the silly
grin that found its way to her face as she watched her ex-girlfriend producing music to her ears. But
as soon as she noticed that Nayeon was coming back to her senses she schooled her expressions
again.

"Are you done yet?" Jeongyeon crossed her arms and did her best to look annoyed.

"Sorry, baby. I almost forgot how dense you can be sometimes." Nayeon was still entertained and
trying to hold back her giggles, so she probably didn't notice... that, but Jeongyeon most certainly
did.

It's fine, Jeongyeon thought to herself, it was just an old habit and old habits die hard. She had
caught herself biting her tongue to keep from doing the same thing a few times before. Luckily she
wasn't the one who made the first slip, but the lines were pretty blurred now, so it was
understandable.

Well, at least her brain was understanding, but her stupid heart still skipped a beat nonetheless.

"Dense?" She shook her head not to dwell on that matter. Didn't want to make things awkward.
"I'm not dense-"

"Sana and Mina are sleeping together." She just put it out there. It was Nayeon's turn to cross her
arms with a smug smile on her face as she watched Jeongyeon's mouth hang open in shock.

"They- they're what?"

"Fucking, yeah. Maybe even dating? I'm not sure, I don't think they're quite there yet. But they're
definitely doing something together." Nayeon mused aloud, then she cringed right after.
"They... they are?" Nayeon nodded and Jeongyeon let her gaze slowly drift across the apartment,
more specifically to the place the other duo were sitting a few minutes ago as she thought about all
the past month's interactions between the two of them.

How could Jeongyeon be the person who spent the most time with them out of all people and still
not realize that something was going on between them? Okay, there were a few way too flirty
episodes sometimes, but she assumed it was because it was Sana and Sana had always been that
way with everyone, right?

Besides, Sana and Mina shared an apartment and Sana definitely had a rule against that. And Mina-
oh my God, Mina. Jeongyeon would definitely have a talk with her about it soon. After all the
drama with her last roommate she still had the nerve to get involved with her current one? And
with Sana, of all people.

But also damn, how far up her ass had Jeongyeon's head been lately not to notice what was
happening right under her nose? Or maybe there's nothing. Nayeon could just be imagining the
whole thing. Not likely but not impossible... right?

"Are you sure about it?" Jeongyeon had to check. Thrice.

"Duh? If you don't believe me just ask Jihyo. We were talking about it earlier."

"Jihyo??"

"Yeah, we made a bet. I think it started when they kissed at your party and she thinks it has been
happening since Mina punched Jennie." Okay, so if Jihyo was into it as well it probably wasn't just
a figment of Nayeon's imagination.

"How did I miss that?" Jeongyeon ran a hand through her hair, obviously frustrated.

"Because you're too naive sometimes."

"I'm not." She almost pouted.

"Seriously, Jeongyeon, you are. They're fucking so obvious." Nayeon chuckled again. "If you start
paying more attention you'll see it for yourself."

"They share an apartment. Sana used to have a rule against that, you know. And Mina... Gosh,
Mina..." Jeongyeon trailed off, she felt like it wasn't her place to talk about Mina's story. But
Jeongyeon was still hoping that Nayeon would admit that the whole thing was just a prank, waiting
for her to say sike anytime now.

"Yeah, but apparently Sana has come to the conclusion that some people are worth breaking the
rules for." Nayeon said with a knowing undertone.

Jeongyeon shook her head trying to push away those thoughts. Even though she knew she wasn't
entitled to it she was a little upset that neither of them had told her about it. Or maybe it was
because Nayeon or Jihyo hadn't mentioned anything to her before they even made bets between
them. Perhaps even at herself for being so dense or naive, in Nayeon's words or whatever.

Okay, maybe all three. She was mad about it all.

Shortly after, Nayeon fished her phone inside her pocket to call herself an uber. She stopped in the
hallway and her gaze drifted to Jeongyeon, inviting her to walk with her. She looked much better
than she did when she showed up at that very spot hours ago.
"Hey, I've been meaning to ask..." Jeongyeon didn't want to let her walk away without asking, but
she also didn't want to mention her mother. "Are you okay? You seemed a little... I don't know, off?
Earlier."

Nayeon clasped her hands behind her back and pondered for a few seconds. Jeongyeon waited
patiently while they walked side by side, reaching the door that led to the stairs.

"I wasn't feeling well before, but I'm better now." She confessed and the goalkeeper was pleased
with her sincerity. "Thanks for that, by the way." Even in the dim light of the building's staircase,
Jeongyeon saw the heartwarming smile that could enlighten her life for months. Years, even.

Her heart soared a bit more with each step. There were so many things she wanted to say if they
weren't in the current situation they were in. So many things she'd do if she didn't have a year
worth of emotional burdens weighing down her shoulders. So many things she wished she could
get out of the way for... for what? There's no going back, Jeongyeon. There's only going down from
now.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." Nayeon didn't hesitate, but then she felt compelled to elaborate. "Not yet, anyway. But thank
you. Again."

"You have to stop thanking me."

"I can't. I need you to know how much it means to me."

A cell phone beeped. Saved by the bell. Jeongyeon didn't know how she was going to answer that
one.

"My uber is outside." Nayeon had her eyes locked on the screen. They had already reached the first
floor and for the first time since she had moved in, Jeongyeon felt that going down five flights of
stairs had been way too fast.

"Okay." She leaned in for a hug. Nayeon briefly hesitated, but then she was pushing herself up to
tuck her chin over Jeongyeon's shoulder. "Take care and let me know when you get home."

"Will do." One. Two. Three. Too soon. With her eyes closed, Jeongyeon counted every second
until Nayeon let her go.

Jeongyeon opened the gate for her and waited until Nayeon checked the driver. Also watched the
vehicle disappear around the corner before going back to her apartment. Plopped down on the
couch and then propped her feet up on the coffee table. On that very table Jeongyeon found the
coat Nayeon had given back to her.

It was a black and white letterman jacket with a huge patch with the number one stamped on the
right side. The logo of their old high school on the left one and another patch with her last name
printed on the back. She used to wear it a lot in high school since I was basically part of their jersey
back then.

Jeongyeon didn't know exactly how that garment had been incorporated into Nayeon's closet, but
she remembered seeing her ex-girlfriend wearing that jacket plenty of times ever since she
shamelessly stole it during their freshman year at Yonsei. Jeongyeon had always nagged her about
it, she didn't see the point since Nayeon had one just like hers, save the last name and number.

Honestly, she thought she would never lay her eyes on it again, so she didn't understand why
Nayeon would give it back to her now, especially after all of this time.

Maybe it was part of the process, right? Just Nayeon crossing off a topic on her list in order to
move on. A proof that she was able to get over it? Over her? Yeah, maybe that's it. That phase
where the exes returned each other's stuff because they didn't need or want to hold on to anything
anymore.

Yeah, Jeongyeon had her own box full of things to give back to Nayeon when she reached that
phase, but she definitely wasn't there yet. Not even close.

Or maybe… and just maybe, that was just an excuse for Nayeon to see her instead? A somewhat
more hopeful part of Jeongyeon dared to suggest.

Nonsense, the realistic side spoke up, just because you don't wanna go a single day without seeing
her doesn't mean she feels the same.

Lying there arguing with herself, Jeongyeon held onto the jacket as if she was embracing the last
shred of hope she still had. And even though she felt foolish about it, she was rewarded when she
got a glimpse of Nayeon's scent on that piece of fabric.

It didn't match Nayeon's excuse that she had found it in one of those up-until-then untouched
boxes. But well, thinking about it now, Nayeon never really said that's where the garment was
being kept, Jeongyeon just assumed because it seemed like the most plausible explanation.

But if it smelled like her it meant that she had been wearing it. Or at least that she had worn it at
some point, right? And if Nayeon was wearing clothes that belonged to Jeongyeon, then what did
that mean? Jeongyeon hardly pretended to hate the way her heart basically did somersaults inside
of her chest at the mere thought.

She didn't know exactly how long she had been musing to herself, just hugging the jacket and
nuzzling into it while her mind wished it was a particular person instead. But her phone vibrating
inside her pocket was what brought her back to reality.

[11:54 pm] Im Nayeon: Forgot to say it earlier but I need you to keep the thing between Sana and
Mina a secret

[11:54 pm] Im Nayeon: I only found out by accident and I'm not sure how Jihyo figured it out, but
I'm positive that if they wanted everyone to know about it they would've told us already

[11:54 pm] Im Nayeon: So we better keep this between us for now

[11:55 pm] Im Nayeon: I mean, I don't think you're going to go around telling people but still

[11:55 pm] Yoo(r) #1: now that you've mentioned it, i just might

[11:55 pm] Yoo(r) #1: maybe i'll call for a team meeting first thing in the morning

[11:56 pm] Im Nayeon: You're not funny

[11:57 pm] Yoo(r) #1: i am tho

[11:57 pm] Yoo(r) #1: but don't worry, your secret is safe with me

[11:57 pm] Yoo(r) #1: well.

[11:57 pm] Yoo(r) #1: not exactly your secret, but you get it
 [11:58 pm] Im Nayeon: Great, thanks

[11:58 pm] Yoo(r) #1: you home already?

[11:59 pm] Im Nayeon: Yep, just got here

[11:59 pm] Yoo(r) #1: ok

[00:00 am] Yoo(r) #1: good night nayeon

[00:00 pm] Im Nayeon: Good night Jeong

Yoo(r) #1 changed contact to Nayeon.

Chapter End Notes

the misana crumbs i promised will be here next year...

happy new year's eve :)
 chemical x
Chapter Summary

"You're jealous." She quipped, narrowing her eyes at her ex-girlfriend.

"I'm not." Nayeon frowned and defensively crossed her arms.

"You're jealous of Sana! Gosh, who would've thought?!" Jeongyeon said even louder,
her smile growing wider.

"Am not!" Nayeon pouted, looking upset. She also glanced sideways to make sure
none of their friends were around to hear that.

"Are too!!"

Chapter Notes

please take the gun out of my head, here's the misana crumbs

See the end of the chapter for more notes

There was one hand tracing dangerous low spirals on the small Nayeon's back. The other one was
clenching in her hair and keeping her at a luscious proximity. Their only goal was to keep their lips
and their bodies pressed together while they lazily kissed. But then Jeongyeon moved her hand a
little higher and accidentally pushed Nayeon's shirt up in the process, so it was mostly skin against
skin and the sound of sharp inhale filling the bedroom as Nayeon rutted her hips forward.

Okay, that's gone too far. Time for a change of plans.

She removed her hands from Nayeon's bare back and brought them to her properly covered thighs,
which wasn't too hard or rather hard at all since she was straddling her now. Jeongyeon's back was
firmly pressed against the headboard and her ex-girlfriend's body was leaning over hers. Then
Nayeon tentatively dropped her lips to trace kisses down her neck and Jeongyeon felt a set of teeth
ghosting along the column of her throat. All while Nayeon sneakily moved her jacket past her
shoulder to give herself better access.

Jeongyeon immediately reacted and helped her take the garment off, blindly tossing it in some
random corner of the room. It was hot. Very hot. Even hotter now. She couldn't even remember
why the heck she was wearing it in the first place. And if she was being honest, for a hot second
she couldn't remember why she was wearing clothes at all. She wanted it all off.

But you can't, an annoying little voice in the back of her mind just had to remind her like every
single time. But then all it took was a particularly stronger bite and Nayeon rolling her hips against
hers for that voice to completely fade away.

Jeongyeon's head fell back and a small groan left her lips. She forgot all about the voice, about the
reasons, about everything else as a growing pressure thrived stronger and more vividly inside her.
And also as if Nayeon wanted to make things even harder for her, she cupped her breast above her
shirt and ghostly nuzzled it before moving her hand down to explore even further.

There were warning bells, loud alarms, shining lights and also sirens going off inside Jeongyeon's
head. Telling her to stop. Warning her that it couldn't go any further. All while she struggled
against her own desires. But she still tried to pretend like they didn't exist because the only noise
she cared about was the sound of Nayeon's panting breath close to her ear.

The problem was that Nayeon's kisses were highly intoxicating in the best possible way, even more
addictive than Jeongyeon remembered. The kind that made her want to kiss her more and more
until she couldn't breathe, until she was too Nayeon-dazed to give in. That's why Jeongyeon moved
again, diving in until she captured her lips in another searing kiss. Once again releasing sounds she
should've kept to herself when Nayeon's nails lightly scratched the back of her neck.

But then it was all too much. There's only so much she could take, after all.

She knew she would give in to her own desires if they kept it going, so she took both of Nayeon's
hands by her wrists. Reached for the one resting on her neck and the other laying flat against her
stomach. Got a hold of both of them and pushed them down. Held them together between the
almost non-existence spaced between their bodies.

Nayeon just sat there and let her do it. She didn't react, just let her be and leaned down to rest her
forehead against Jeongyeon's shoulder. Hid herself in the crook of her neck for a while as she
slowly tried to catch her breath as well. A minute later she pulled away and sat back, settling
herself a little further on Jeongyeon's thighs to put some distance between them.

Jeongyeon could feel Nayeon's eyes watching her closely. Carefully and affectionately, but craving
as well. And she knew that if she opened her eyes right now Nayeon would see the same desire
burning in her gaze too. So she delayed the moment as long as she could, stroking the back of
Nayeon's hands which still were trapped between her own. That is until her ex-girlfriend pulled one
of her hands to bring it up to Jeongyeon's face, cupping her cheek and caressing the skin in a silent
request for her to look at her.

So she did because she wouldn't deny that to Nayeon. And upon opening her eyes Jeongyeon saw
that her ex-girlfriend was torn between thanking her for finding it in herself to stop and apologizing
for almost letting it go too far. But she didn't need to do either because it was just another wordless
agreement between them.

Jeongyeon just leaned into Nayeon's touch and closed her eyes again to fully bask on it. But it
ended way too soon since a ringing cell phone broke their moment. It didn't make any sound, just
buzzed obnoxiously, but even that felt loud in the soothing silence filling the room. Sitting right
next to them, long forgotten on the bed, Jeongyeon's phone displayed Sana's name on the screen.
Of course. Nayeon snorted while Jeongyeon snickered.

"Pick up." Nayeon took the opportunity to get off Jeongyeon's lap, making the goalkeeper instantly
miss the contact. But instead of getting up Nayeon just lay down next to her, propping herself on
her elbow and looking up at Jeongyeon with the prettiest smile on her face.

God, she's so beautiful, Jeongyeon thought to herself. But she shook her head and reached for her
phone. Also lay down beside Nayeon but flat on her back. Then she answered the call and put it on
speaker. She didn't think too much before doing it, just didn't want Nayeon to feel left out. Finally,
Jeongyeon put her hands behind her head and stared at the ceiling as she felt her ex-girlfriend's eyes
on her.
"What's up?" She greeted.

"Jeongie! My dear, what time should we drop by?"

"Drop by where?"

"Your place? So we can pregame and drive together. The bar is a little far away."

"What?? What are you talking about?" She frowned and glanced at Nayeon to check if she had any
idea about what the hell Sana was talking about, but she also didn't have a clue. She just shrugged,
looking as confused as she felt.

"About Tzuyu's party? We were talking about it in the group chat just now, didn't you see?"

"No?" She cast another glance at Nayeon who quickly fished her own phone to check the group
chat.

"Why not?" Nayeon turned the screen to show over a hundred unread messages and Jeongyeon
made a face.

"I was busy."

"What were you doing?"

"I don't see a ring on my finger, Sana."

"Only because you won't let me put one on it." She could pretty much imagine Sana's teasing grin
on the other side of the call. "Anyway, Momo is game. We just need you to get in with it and tell us
when we should be there."

"But Tzuyu said she didn't want a party!" Jeongyeon suddenly remembered the striker's words at
practice that morning. Meanwhile, Nayeon was still going through the messages to check what
exactly were the plans for the night.

"Exactly! She said she didn't want a party, not a celebration. That's why we're going to a bar
instead of having a big party at the Beach House."

"That's a good idea, actually." Nayeon absently remarked while still looking at her phone. Then she
promptly brought her hand to her mouth with widened eyes.

"What's that?"

"Nothing! I mean, the TV? Nevermind, it was nothing! What were you talking about anyway?"
The goalkeeper nervously replied in a high pitched tone.

"Oh yeah. Time. Can we drop by at 7? Maybe 7:30?"

"I don't know if that's a good idea, Sana. We have a game tomorrow." Jeongyeon noted but soon
corrected herself when she remembered that she wouldn't be playing that match. "I mean, you guys
do at least. But I'll be there anyway."

"Just hear me out. We're going to cut back on the drinking because the prices in these places are
through the nose, and we're going to come back home early so that we're on our best behavior for
tomorrow's game." Her voice was steady and sharp as if she was pitching a new project at work.
"Besides, it's her first birthday with the team! We gotta keep up with the tradition, you know. We
can't afford to play with our luck and end up getting screwed this year as well. Bad things happen
when team traditions are broken, Jeongyeon!" Sana dramatically finished her case.

"She's got a point." Nayeon mumbled in agreement and once again winced in embarrassment for
yet another slip.

"Yeah, you're right. 7:30 is fine. Bye, we'll see you later!" Jeongyeon answered quickly and hung
up before the other girl could say anything else. Then she exasperatedly looked at Nayeon as soon
as she ended the call.

"I'm sorry?" Nayeon apologized, unconsciously pursing her lips in the cutest way possible.
Jeongyeon had to bite her own to keep herself from smiling, but she still leaned in and kissed
Nayeon's pout to let her know that it was okay.

"I guess our plans to watch 10 Things I Hate About You today have been ruined." Jeongyeon rolled
over on her side to face her ex-girlfriend.

"Raincheck?"

"Sure."

"Awesome." Nayeon leaned forward this time. Kissed her briefly before pulling away. "I'd better
go."

"Already?" Jeongyeon pouted and slipped an arm around Nayeon's waist before she could go any
further.

"Yeah, I gotta get ready for tonight. But I'll be back soon, don't worry, and I'll bring company as
well." She flicked her phone to remind Jeongyeon of the plans their friends had made.

"I don't want the company." Jeongyeon placed a lingering kiss on the corner of Nayeon's mouth.

"Jeongyeon..."

"Just five more minutes." She continued her path of kisses down her jaw.

"Bad. Idea." She drawled. Her breathing was already catching in her throat.

"Please?" Jeongyeon tried as she ran her nails along the small Nayen's back.

"Don't please me." Nayeon closed her eyes and tried hard not to give in. The feeling of Jeongyeon
pushing her already cluttered shirt even higher was overwhelming.

"But baby I do wanna please you." She said thoughtlessly and carelessly. Her mind didn't even
register her own words, her thoughts were already elsewhere. More precisely on the way she was
caressing Nayeon abdomen, drawing patterns just above her waistband.

"Okay. No, that's it. That's enough." Nayeon had to muster all the strength she never knew she had,
but she managed to playfully slap her hand away. Then she pecked her lips one last time before
getting out of bed. "I'm afraid we won't make it to our appointment tonight if we keep this going.
You wouldn't want to explain your absence to Sana, would you?"

She proceeded to fix herself. Smoothed her clothes and combed her hair for good measure while
Jeongyeon just laid there, now alone and sprawled out on the bed as she watched Nayeon with a
lopsided smile.

Nayeon tried to ignore but she really needed Jeongyeon to stop looking at her like that. Like right
now. Or else...

But thankfully, Jeongyeon got up and walked her to the door. Bid her goodbye with another kiss
and leaned against the doorframe watching Nayeon walk down the hall until she disappeared
through the doorway that led to the staircase.

Jeongyeon stood there for a little longer, actually, looking at nothing in particular but thought
about her anyway. Then she sighed and shook her head when she realized how stupid that was.
How stupid she was. For fuck's sake, it was wrong on so many levels that-

"Was that Nayeon?" A familiar voice called out behind her back. From inside the apartment, to be
more specific.

"Fuck!" Jeongyeon almost jumped. Her heart raced even faster when she turned around and found
Momo standing in the middle of their living room, which was definitely a surprise since she
thought she was alone in the apartament after Nayeon left.

"Holy shit, Yoo, calm down." Momo mused with a mix of both amusement and concern.

"No, I just- I didn't know you were home. I mean- I thought you were in class-" She stammered
trying to calm herself down. Flushed red and with a hand lying over her chest.

"Professor called in sick." Momo flatly explained.

"Oh. Right, sure." She closed the door and shook her head. "Not that you have to explain yourself,
of course. That's your place too." The goalkeeper added, feeling suddenly even more embarrassed.

"Relax, Jeong. I know." Momo took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV. "The girls want to
come over later tonight. I said it was fine by me but I saw the shoes by the door, so I knew you had
a... um, a guest. And I didn't know who you were with or how long they'd stay, so I told them to
wait and check with you. Of course I didn't tell them why though."

"Oh, okay." Jeongyeon blushed even deeper. "I've talked to Sana already, she called. They're
coming at 7:30 or so." She basically tiptoed around the living room behind the couch so she
wouldn't draw Momo's attention.

"You didn't answer." Momo didn't turn around. She settled back on the couch as she absently
switched through the channels.

"What do you mean?"

"Was that Nayeon?"

"Uh, yeah? Yeah, it was her." Who else would it be, Momo? She almost asked.

"Um, okay." She replied offhandedly.

There was no hint of judgment in Momo's tone, but Jeongyeon was still bothered by it. Did her
friend by any chance think that she was bringing random people home?? She was never one to do
this kind of thing before, why would she start now that she and Nayeon- no, hold on. She and
Nayeon nothing. They were not together.

"Why?"

"Nothing, I just- nevermind. Just wondering."

"You know I'm not seeing anyone else, right?" She wanted to be sure.

"Forget about it, it doesn't matter."

"No, but I want to make sure you know." Jeongyeon frowned. She eyed Momo's profile while her
roommate kept staring at the TV. "I'm not fooling around."

"So you're serious about her?"

Then Jeongyeon froze. She didn't know what to say. Actually, she knew the answer for that, she
just didn't want to say it out loud.

"It's complicated." She settled for the standard drill: a vague answer. That's all she said, so Momo
considered it for a few seconds before elaborating.

"I- I didn't think you were with someone else. I mean, I know you wouldn't even if the situation
with you and Nayeon is... complicated, like you said. I just wondered if you'd tell me the truth or if
you'd try to hide whatever is going on between you two." Momo confessed.

"Whatever is going on between us..." Jeongyeon repeated, thoroughly testing those words.

"Yeah, because no one tells me anything anymore. Not you, not Nayeon, not Sana. Even Jihyo's
been acting weird lately. So yeah, I don't know what the fuck is going on." Momo was still facing
forward, her eyes fixed on TV. She looked upset. Sounded pissed off too.

It made sense, she and Nayeon did have their own secrets. And Jeongyeon had only opened up to
Sana and Mina lately. Sana, as Nayeon had told her a few days ago, apparently also had her own
secrets with Mina. And Jihyo, she had noticed, was also a bit distant these days. But she just
figured that her best friend was too busy with her extra curricular activities in addition to her
academic tasks and also her captain duties. Booked and busy, as always.

And Momo... well, the ever so understanding Momo. Always supportive and always there Momo,
may have felt a little left out and overlooked in the middle of that mystery. And rightly so,
Jeongyeon would say, so she felt bad about it too.

"I'm sorry." She reached over and sat down with her friend. Settled on the other end of the couch,
also facing the TV. "Things have been a bit chaotic lately. I'm sorry if you're feeling-"

"No, stop." Momo shook her hands and closed her eyes for a second before turning around.
Glanced at Jeongyeon looking genuinely sorry. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."

"Momo-"

"No, listen, I think I might have expressed myself poorly. It's not like you're compelled to tell me
anything. None of you are, actually." Jeongyeon tried to interject again but Momo wouldn't let her.
"What I mean is that I try to show that I'm here for you all in case you need me, but I don't know if
I do it very well because I'm very... me, I guess. But you can lean on me if you need to, okay? I
mean it."

"You do show us, Momo. You do it perfectly, you don't have to worry about that."

"But sometimes I feel like you guys are a little lost and I don't really know how to help. But at the
end of the day I know I'm just worrying for nothing. You're grown women, alright. I'm sure you
know what you're doing. I just... I don't know, everybody seems to be doing their own thing and I
miss you all, that's all." Momo poured it all out and let the words sink in for a moment. She let
Jeongyeon take it all in and also let her answer her in her own time.

On the other hand, Jeongyeon didn't know that those words were exactly what she needed to hear.
She had kept so many things to herself over the past weeks. She had already lied to herself enough
to just let that opportunity slip by, so with a blank stare on her face and completely trusting her
friend's words, she simply blurted out what had been troubling her for so long.

"I don't know." She made a face as she said it just above a whisper.

"What?" Momo frowned, not quite following.

"I don't really know what I'm doing." She weakly admitted to both Momo and herself.

"Jeong, you don't have to say that just because I-"

"Let me lean on you, Momo." She cut in. Her voice cracked but at this point she didn't care. "You
said I could. I- I think I really need it right now."

Jeongyeon couldn't help but feel bad for once again breaking the promise she made to Nayeon.
There she was again, talking about it with someone else. Someone who wasn't her, someone who
wasn't supposed to know.

It's funny, wasn't it? How she had already accused Nayeon of breaking the promises she had once
made in the past when she herself was doing it repeatedly. No, not funny. The word she was
looking for was hypocritical.

But yes, she really could use a little help right now. She needed it, in fact, if she didn't want to go
mad. She was feeling so many things and was so damn confused all the time. It was pretty
overwhelming, so it'd be good to get a second and fresh opinion. And Momo was there after all, as
always and willing to help.

"Talk to me." Momo sincerely prompted after hearing the cry for help in her roommate's words.
She scooted closer to her as the TV's noises filled the background.

"Nayeon and I, we... we're hanging out. Spending time together, as you already know. We have an
agreement and I really don't know how to explain this without sounding kinda crazy, but we just
pretend our problems don't exist. It's like being friends with benefits, I guess, but I'm not sure if
we're even friends anymore."

"Like what you did in high school?" Momo asked, interested and yet confused.

"How'd you know about that?" Jeongyeon replied, equally puzzled.

"Jeongyeon, please, I shared a room with Nayeon for almost a year. Do you have any idea how
many times she told me the story of how you guys got together?" Jeongyeon chuckled. Yeah, it
definitely sounded like something that the old Nayeon would do.

"Yeah, it's kind of like how we did in school. But back then we were really friends. Best friends,
actually. Only now I have no idea what we are." Resuming the main topic, the other girl sighed
and looked away.

"Well, if I didn't know all that, I'd definitely say that you look like good friends to me. I'm sure
anyone on the outside would probably feel the same. Like the rest of the team, even the few people
who know that you are ex-girlfriends must think so as well. I mean, in public you're really nice to
each other. You talk and joke and play around like any of us." Momo tried to help her sort things
out.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Jeongyeon sighed sadly, seeming lost in her own thoughts. "But I'm
pretty sure that friends don't want to kiss each other as much as I want to kiss her."

"Oh."

"Or scream." She kept going. "Sometimes I really want to yell at her for making me so confused.
Or sometimes just because she left, too."

Momo needed some time to absorb. She wasn't expecting it, wasn't used to Jeongyeon being so
blunt about her feelings for Nayeon. Well, at least not after they broke up.

"You said you guys pretend that your problems don't exist." She resumed after clearing her throat.
"What problems are you talking about?"

Yep, exactly what Jeongyeon was meaning to avoid. But she needed to talk about it. She wanted to.

"She lied to me about some pretty important stuff. Stuff I still don't know the entire truth about
because she's not ready to tell me yet." Momo just nodded to let her know that she was following.
"And I lied to her, too. You know, the whole rooftop thing. So I know... I know she has feelings for
me." The goalkeeper avoided the L word at all costs. "And sometimes I feel like I'm taking some
kind of advantage of her because of it even though I also..." She trailed off.

"You're not." Momo plainly denied. "Trust me, Jeongyeon. From what I'm picking up you both
want this. You probably have a lot of things to worry about, but that's definitely not one of them."

"But we still have a lot of things to work out. To talk over, I mean, I don't know if we can fix it.
We've already hurt each other too much and we still have a lot of things hidden on both sides. And
maybe... maybe it's more than we can handle." She confessed, feeling the tears already pricking on
the sides of her eyes. "And I'm scared. I'm- I'm terrified, Momo. And I don't know how to deal with
it because neither of us are ready to do anything about it yet."

"You really like her, don't you?" Momo was careful. Perhaps the most careful she had ever been.

"I guess." She gulped, then breathed and kept going. "When I'm with her I feel so good, you
know." Jeongyeon tried to answer without actually saying it. "I forget all about the lies and all
about the problems. And I'm not just saying that because we make out and pretend it doesn't exist,
but mostly because of everything else. For the times she can't keep quiet for more than two
minutes when we're watching something, and also for the fact that she always makes us tea
because that's literally the only thing she knows how to properly do in the kitchen." The goalkeeper
caught herself sighing again before continuing. "And the way she looks at me when we have to say
goodbye is... damn it, it always makes me fear that it might be the last time. Like she's going to
pack her things and run away again."

And then she finally admitted what she had been trying to hide from herself for so long.

"But it's like I'm falling in love with her all over again." Jeongyeon frowned upon hearing the
words that came out of her own mouth. Realization slowly hitting her. "I love her. I've always
loved her and I feel like a part of me always will." She carried on, talking more to herself than to
Momo. "Actually I'm sure about it because I still loved her even after we broke up. I never stopped
thinking and caring about her even though we were out of touch. But now... I can't explain it. I
know none of this is real and that's just a temporary fix, it still feels so good. It's almost like we're
together again."
She took a deep breath after laying it all out, and then Momo's voice reminded her that she was still
there. "So what are you so afraid of, Jeongyeon?"

"Of how natural it feels?" The answer also rolled off her tongue. "Of how at the same time I feel
like everything has changed but it's also like nothing changed at all?" It wasn't supposed to come
off as questions, but it did anyway. "Or maybe of how it will wreck me all over again if... if I end
up losing her one more time."

Up until that moment she had always treated the whole fallout as if it was a matter of when and not
if. But that was the first time she had ever allowed herself to consider a different scenario.

"I can only imagine how scary this must be for you." Momo took one of her hands and wiped the
tears off her friend's cheeks with the other one. "But I need to ask you something." Jeongyeon
finally looked up again. She nodded, giving Momo permission to say whatever she wanted. "Think
about it, even with all the risks... all the doubts and insecurities about the future and also about the
answers you want. Is it worth it? For this extra time you're getting to be with her? Because if it isn't,
there is no reason why you should be putting yourself through this any longer."

Jeongyeon frowned even deeper. She swallowed her sobs and thought about the last kiss Nayeon
gave her before she left. She could easily make a list of every single moment she had spent with her
ex-girlfriend since the moment that this new deal was implemented between them, but only the
memory of their last one was enough to make her heart soar.

"Yes." She replied, nodding firmly. "I guess so. Yeah."

She's always been worth it, that's what Jeongyeon couldn't bring herself to say out loud.

"Then I don't think you need my advice, but I'll give it to you anyway. Talk to her, Jeongyeon. Just
tell each other how you really feel." She heard the smile in Momo's voice, but didn't see that it was
actually much bigger than she imagined. Jeongyeon was too busy staring at their intertwined hands
now.

A beat passed and Jeongyeon wanted to run over to Nayeon's place. She wanted to look into her
eyes and pour her heart out. But the fear was still there and now it was even worse by the prospect
of losing the benefits she had at that moment. So she came to the conclusion that she needed to
keep that fear in check before doing anything else. Jeongyeon needed to get a hold of herself and
free her heart rather than giving it back to Nayeon only for it to be crushed again.

And there she was dealing with it as a matter of when again.

Yeah, it was nice while it lasted.

"But you guys are still set on keeping it a secret, aren't you?" Momo spoke up. She probably
sensed that Jeongyeon wouldn't be able to say anything else.

"Yes. It's better this way. We feel less... pressed, I guess." Jeongyeon freed her hand and wiped
away the stray tears while she tried to pull herself together.

"Mhm, right." Momo pondered aloud. She scanned her friend with narrowed eyes and Jeongyeon
spotted a smirk growing on her lips. "Then you'd better hide that mark on your neck."

"What??" Jeongyeon was a little slow to catch up but when the realization finally hit her, she
defensively brought her hand to her throat. Didn't need to see it to know what Momo was talking
about, she felt it. She was still feeling it and knew exactly where it was. "Dammit!"
She cursed out loud and hurriedly jumped to her feet. Ran straight to the bathroom mirror so she
could evaluate her condition.

"Woah, Nayeon, I thought we were past the hickey phase. So teenlike and predictable. Rather
possessive to be honest. Oh no, scratch that, that's very Nayeon-like." Momo amusedly rambled,
making Jeongyeon flush even deeper.

She had already talked to Nayeon about it. There had been a few other incidents before and
Jeongyeon didn't appreciate having to wear a turtleneck in ninety degree weather.

"Chill out, dude, it's an easy fix." Momo popped up at the bathroom door startling Jeongyeon once
again. "I'll help you when you're getting ready. A bit of concealer will do the trick."

"Thanks." Jeongyeon breathed in relief as if Momo had just promised to save her life. She wasn't
entirely untutored when it came to makeup, but she was no expert either. Nayeon always used to
cover her own tracks on her body when they were still dating.

"So..." Momo crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame while Jeongyeon still examined
the hickey. "She's a biter..."

Jeongyeon cringed. She should've known it was coming. Of course Momo wasn't going to let her
get off the hook without experiencing a whole lot of embarrassment.

And in fact, truthfully, Jeongyeon would rather get teased for a lifetime if the other option was not
to have Momo by her side in moments like these.

Later that night, the roommates were walking into a pub with Nayeon, Sana, Jihyo and Dahyun.
Most of the team was already there and the place was crowded.

"Okay, who chose this place?" Nayeon asked- complained, actually. Not because the floor was
packed, college weekends were always busy so they already knew what they were walking into.
The problem was that the ride was pretty long and they were nearly on the other side of town when
there bars just like this closer to their places.

"I picked it out. No need to thank me."

"Why the hell would I thank you?" She raised an eyebrow at Sana.

"For saving all our asses in advance, you genius. We have a game tomorrow, did you forget? If we
were to hang out near our campus, the people over there would definitely recognize us. And if a
word about the soccer team going out and drinking the night before a game reached the ears of our
beloved Coach Bae, we'd be fucked for sure."

"Surprisingly it does make sense." Jihyo acknowledged. "So you do take your head out of the
gutter sometimes." She jabbed but didn't give Sana a chance to respond. The captain was already
walking over to the tables where the squad had chosen to hold their celebration.

"How can someone keep so much hate in such a small frame?" Sana wondered aloud as she
watched her captain walk away. Dahyun was also already there, hugging Tzuyu and congratulating
her once again.

"Good evening, honey." Yves popped up behind the four girls left. Right between Jeongyeon and
Sana, slipping an arm around each of their necks. "I'm not talking to you, of course." Yves glanced
at Sana before looking back at Jeongyeon. "It's you I'm talking to."

"Speaking about hate..." Sana grumbled and freed herself from her hold. She also slapped Yves
arm out of Jeongyeon's shoulders.

"Hey, I've been watching you all night and you look even prettier today." Yves leaned closer and
proceeded to flirt with the goalkeeper, never mind Sana - and Nayeon - glaring daggers at her.

"We literally just got here." Nayeon sputtered flatly and dully. Pressed her lips together in a tight
line trying hard to keep her own annoyance at bay.

"That's the highlight of my night then." Yves corrected herself, unfazed. Ran her hand down
Jeongyeon arm and flashed her best smile at her.

"Piss off." Sana aggressively dismissed her.

"I'm only going because I was supposed to get some drinks for the girls at the bar. I'll get one for
you too, Jeongyeonie. See you back there." She walked backwards after winking at her target.

"I swear to God I will-" Sana started to complain, rolling her eyes as she watched the other girl
disappear into the crowd.

"This is all your fault, you do know that right? If you didn't act like you owned Jeongyeon she'd
leave her alone." Momo snickered.

"Who says I don't?" Sana teased, it was her turn to hook her arm around the goalkeeper's neck.

"I did. You don't." Jeongyeon flatly replied.

"That's exactly what I said. I don't. No one does. You're a free, independent woman and that's why
I love you." Sana grinned and placed a kiss on Jeongyeon's cheek before entwining their fingers
and tugging her toward their tables. "Now let's get going. We have a tradition to uphold."

Said tradition was nothing too fancy. On their first birthday with the team, the freshman had to
pour a shot for each one of their seniors teammates. The captain would raise a toast to the birthday
girl, who would wait for everyone to take their shots before taking her own.

"To Tzuyu." Jihyo called out as they all stood around the tables.

"To Tzuyu!" The rest of the squad repeated after her and respectively took their shots. Then the
striker also downed her drink and soon after there was a round of pats on the back and kisses on the
cheek.

Naturally the celebration evolved into conversations between smaller groups once the tradition was
fulfilled. Not long after, Nayeon and Jeongyeon found themselves talking alone near the bar's
counter.

"I'm telling you. It's fifteen, not just ten."

"No, it's ten. That's literally the name of the movie."

"Fifteen."

"Just count how many times she says the words 'I hate'. It's ten!"

"But the point of the poem is the reasons, not the words!"
"It's a poem, Nayeon, the point is exactly the wordplay."

The former couple was caught up in the same discussion for probably the thousandth time. An old
topic they kept coming back to every time the movie would come up. 10 Things I Hate About You
was the movie they had planned on seeing that night before the unexpected change of plans, but it
was also the first movie they saw together after they started dating and since then it has had a
special place in their hearts. Also, that argument had been going on for years now and neither of
them would ever give in.

"Hey, have you guys seen Sana?" Yves dropped by and interrupted the conversation.

"No, it's been a while. Why? Is everything okay?" Jeongyeon asked as she looked around to look
for the other girl.

"Everything is fine. Awesome, actually. I just came up with the greatest pick up line but it'll be
funnier if she's around. Call for me when she shows up?" The newcomer looked a bit flustered.
She almost knocked her drink over in excitement, making Jeongyeon giggled.

"Yeah, sure. Will do." Yves walked away after winking at Jeongyeon once again and only then did
it finally hit her.

Jeongyeon was pretty used to Yves' antics and advances over the past year. She never considered it
to be anything but meaningless flirting after she had effectively declined the date she was invited
to. But even the teasing exchanges between them had considerably dropped over the last few
months, and it hadn't dawned on her up until now. She supposed that's because Sana had kinda
stopped picking on the senior only to start picking on Nayeon instead like the old times. Therefore
Yves had way less chances bicker, although she did take every single shot she had.

But things were different now, Nayeon was right there. Sure, there was nothing serious between
them, but it still felt wrong to Jeongyeon. Just as it had also felt wrong when the thought of trying
something with Mina had crossed her mind all those weeks ago.

She didn't even know where it came from, but still Jeongyeon felt like she needed to clarify. So she
cleared her throat and turned sideways, finding Nayeon staring at the same direction Yves had just
left.

"She only does it to spite Sana, you know." Her voice got Nayeon's attention and she turned around
to meet her eyes.

"What?" She looked a bit distant, as if she hadn't been listening.

"Yves. She only flirts with me like that because Sana doesn't like it and she loves to rile Sana up."

"Oh." Nayeon looked away again. Down at the cup in her hands. "It's fine, you don't have to
explain."

"But I want to." She replied, staring at Nayeon's thoughtful profile. "The two of them have this...
rivalry between them, if I can even call it that. It's all a joke, really, but it's been going on since our
freshman year, I don't know if you remember. But then Yves... well, she asked me out on a date
last year. I said no, but the news soon reached Sana's ears and for some reason she was upset
because I was apparently 'off limits'. So is every other friend of hers, in Sana's own words. So their
little quarrel escalated and they've been constantly bickering like that for most of the past year. But
anyways, Yves only flirts with me because she knows Sana hates it."

"But she did ask you out." Nayeon echoed and brought the drink to her mouth. Took a sip but she
still didn't look at the girl next to her.

"Yes. But I turned her down, like I said. She's on the team, it would've been weird." It was simpler
than admitting that she didn't say yes because she wasn't over Nayeon yet.

"Right." Nayeon just nodded this time.

"I... I used to play along to bug Sana sometimes. But that's all, we never really had anything. And
she likes to annoy Sana as much as you do, so she's cool." Yves was one of the few seniors on the
team, so she technically knew about her and Nayeon. She knew that they had dated, but not the
reasons why they broke up or anything like that since they had never been that close.

"Yeah, she's cool." Nayeon repeated her words, but it sounded foreign coming from her lips. And
upon hearing that, Jeongyeon's mind automatically went back to the memory of one of the first
parties she attended the previous year, the one where Yves had asked her out. A flash of the then-
junior drunk and telling Jeongyeon that she deserved someone better than her ex. But she
immediately pushed that thought away, Nayeon didn't need to know that.

"Well, after you left Sana needed someone to antagonize." Jeongyeon tried to change the topic. She
also noticed this was probably the first time she had ever addressed Nayeon's absence without spite
or resentment.

"What do you mean?" Nayeon finally looked up at Jeongyeon.

"Just think about it. During our freshman year you and Sana were bickering all the time. Sana had
her own thing with Yves too, but it was never that big before. But last year you weren't here and
she chose to pick up on this petty fight with Yves. And now that you're back and you two are also
back to the old ways, she barely argues with Yves anymore. Not unless Yves starts something
first."

"Oh." Nayeon hummed and thoughtfully considered it for a few seconds. "And what exactly was
this dynamic between them like? Sana and Yves, I mean. Could she ever put up a fight as well as I
do, or...?" She added trying to sound unconcerned, but Jeongyeon wasn't about to fall for that act.

"You're jealous." She quipped, narrowing her eyes at her ex-girlfriend.

"I'm not." Nayeon frowned and defensively crossed her arms.

"You're jealous of Sana! Gosh, who would've thought?!" Jeongyeon said even louder, her smile
growing wider.

"Am not!" Nayeon pouted, looking upset. She also glanced sideways to make sure none of their
friends were around to hear that.

"Are too!!"

"Keep your voice down!" Nayeon tried to shush her, went as far as reaching out to try to cover
Jeongyeon's mouth but the goalkeeper easily grabbed her wrists. "Actually, shut up. It's better if
you don't talk again for the rest of the night. Be quiet!"

"I can't believe it!" Jeongyeon could no longer hold back. Her laughter filled the bar and Nayeon
turned bright red. "Im Nayeon!!! Jealous of none other than Minatozaki Sana! I'd never have
believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes!"

Nayeon wished the ground would swallow her up. She pulled her hands back, turned around and
walked away. She pretended she didn't know the crazy girl screaming across the bar while her ex-
girlfriend stayed back, clenching her sides from how much she was laughing.

...

Sana, on the other hand, wasn't at the pub anymore. In fact, she had another goal when she chose
that place for tonight.

Not that she was behaving like a crazy stalker or anything like that, but she knew Mina would be
near that bar. She couldn't make it to Tzuyu's not-birthday-party because she had prior plans. Plans
which she didn't want to attend, but she still felt compelled to anyway.

Sana was just planning on unpretentiously sending Mina a text telling her where they were so her
roommate could drop by and spend some time with them after she was done with that boring dinner
of hers. That's because Mina had told Sana multiple times that she missed hanging out with the
group since her academic duties had been taking up so much of her time lately.

Sana stood outside the pub as she checked if the place on the other side of the streat really was the
restaurant Mina had mentioned. The smell of smoke and street food hit her senses along with the
noises of loud conversations and muffled music.

The street was pretty busy not by vehicles, but rather lots of people since that block was close to
the campus of another college. She double checked the name of the restaurant in her chat with
Mina and just as she was about to type a text telling her all about this huge coincidence, she saw
her roommate emerging at the door of said restaurant, just across the street.

It was her, wasn't it? Dumb question, Sana would recognize her anywhere. But well, she was a
myopic and she was standing on a crowded street, so it was perfectly fine to doubt herself for a
second or two. But Sana did see Mina leave the restaurant and walk into a side street right next to
the same establishment. Street? No, that was an alley. What the hell would Mina be doing in a
place like that?

Without a second thought Sana gave up the text, pocketed her phone and quickly crossed the street
dodging several drunk people and food stalls along the way. And as soon as she reached the alley
she found Mina standing there, just not quite as she expected.

There were other people there as well, but none of them looked sober at all. Two other girls further
down the alley, both sitting on the floor. They were definitely blind drunk, howling and laughing
with a bottle of booze swinging back and forth between them. A little further ahead was a couple
who probably should consider getting a room soon. One of the guys was pressed against the wall
while the other kissed him as if his life depended on it. The best part was that they were standing
right next to a big garbage can. Classy, Sana thought.

And Mina was standing right at the entrance. Actually she was leaning against the wall with her
arms partly crossed and what looked like a small light hanging from her fingers. Oh no, Sana
recognized soon enough. She watched as Mina tilted her head back and slowly exhaled the smoke.
Then she brought the cigarette back to her lips and repeated the action with her eyes still closed.

"Thought you quit." Sana stepped closer to make her presence known.

"Oh my God, Sana!" Mina leapt up. She looked back to see if any of her companions had been as
startled as she was, but the two pairs seemed as unbothered as ever, wholly oblivious to the world
around them. "What are you doing here?" Sana drew closer, effectively stepping into the alley. She
stood a few inches from the other girl who looked a little paler than usual now.
"Change of plans for Tzuyu's birthday. We needed to get out of our campus and we found out
there's a pretty decent pub out front." She nonchalantly relayed the facts as if she was only a part of
it, and not the person who orchestrated the whole thing. "We have a game tomorrow. If Coach
caught us playing around we'd be doomed."

"Uh, that's… pretty smart, actually." Mina only nodded at first, but then she frowned. "But what
are you doing here?"

"Oh." Sana racked her brain for a plausible excuse. "I came out of the pub for some air and I
happened to see you walking out of the restaurant as well. Huge coincidence, isn't it?" She cracked
a cheeky smile. "I saw you coming in here so I wanted to check if you were okay. I mean, no
offense, but that's not a nice place to hang out." Alright, one half-truth and one whole truth. Good
enough.

Mina nodded again and leaned back against the wall. "I'm fine, just needed some fresh air too."

"And that's fresh air?" She pointed at the cigarette.

"It does involve air." Mina shrugged and took a long drag of the cigarette, pulling the smoke deep
into her lungs. She regretted it as soon as she blew out the smoke and caught Sana taking a careful
step back. "Shit- sorry, I forgot."

Mina tossed what was left of the cigarette on the ground and stepped on it to put it out altogether.

"It's okay. You didn't have to do that." Sana eyed the crushed butt on the floor.

"Nevermind, I shouldn't even be doing it." Mina sounded frustrated as she broke into a rant. "I
meant it when I said I was trying to quit but I've had a horrible day and it doesn't look like it's going
to end anytime soon. I just- I just really needed a break."

"Are the pretentious nerds being pretentious again?" Sana stepped even closer to put a stray lock of
hair behind Mina's ear.

"When are they not?" Mina tilted her head as she looked up at her. Briefly glanced at Sana's lips
before locking eyes.

Tonight Mina was attending a dinner party with the faculty's lab crew. She was the newest member
of their team and the first second-year student to ever get in. However, being the youngest and on
top of that one of the only women on a team full of academic jerks - Sana's words, not Mina's - with
continent-sized egos - Mina's words this time - wasn't exactly a walk in the park. So she felt like
she needed to make an effort to get along with her colleagues and that's why she agreed to tag
along on the group dinner.

"Well, you see, I was already planning on texting you to ask if you wanted to drop by the pub
afterwards. So if you're up to it, when you're done hanging out with those losers you can come have
fun with the cool kids." Sana slowly traced her fingers down Mina's arms. From her shoulder to her
hands and lastly settled for placing them around her waist.

"And those cool kids would be you?" Mina pulled her closer by her jacket, smirking as she brought
their bodies together.

"Not that I'm a big fan of stereotypes by any chance, but athletes are up here..." She freed one of
her hands to draw an imaginary line on the wall right next to Mina's head. "And then the nerds are
down here..." She moved her hand as low as she could without having to pull away from the other
girl.
"So I'm down there?" Mina didn't even glance at her side, she just cocked a challenging eyebrow at
Sana.

"Not really because you hang out with me. Can't get any higher than that." Sana's grin grew wider
and she leaned a little closer.

"You're ridiculous." Mina bit her lower lip to keep herself from smiling.

"I'm aware." Sana replied and finally closed the rest of the distance between them, kissing her like
she had been meaning to all along.

Mina always made Sana's head spin in a good way. Her lips were soft and warm against hers and
she wondered if her roommate could feel her heart pounding out of her chest. Hopefully no.

She tasted like red wine and menthol nicotine, but there was also something else which Sana
couldn't put her finger on it yet. It's the same thing that had been there for quite some time now,
and she liked to call it Chemical X. That's because calling it sugar, spice and everything nice like
she first meant to was way too fucking cheesy and she definitely wasn't one of those people.

"I was smoking." Mina slightly pulled away and whispered in an apologetic tone.

But deep down Sana knew exactly what it was. Because there was absolutely nothing but thrill
when Myoui Mina was kissing her like that.

"I don't mind." Because Sana, who used to hate cigarettes and anything else related to it, wasn't
lying when she said she didn't care this time. She didn't hate it so much when she tasted it from
Mina's lips. Quite the opposite, in fact, she felt like she could easily get addicted to it herself. So
she tilted her head and chased her mouth to kiss her even deeper until she remembered a minor
detail and drew back a little. "But we probably shouldn't be doing this here."

"Yeah, you're right." Mina whispered back but still pulled her close again. She made sure to be
gentle because she knew Sana was secretly a softie even if she was never going to admit it to
anyone else. She cupped her cheeks between her hands and held her as if she was the most precious
thing in the world. Kissed her deep and slow and calming as she felt like Sana might just melt in
her arms.

But then someone whistled loudly - actually fucking wolf-whistled - making the two of them break
the kiss to look down the alley where the two girls who had been drinking were now smiling and
cheering on them.

"Why didn't you do that for them?" Sana drew back and propped one of her hands on the wall right
next to Mina's head to support her weight. She also frowned and pointed at the other couple who
were still making out near the dumpster while Mina's hands settled on her waist.

"We don't care about men. But go ahead, get it girl!" One of them quipped loudly and the other
one just nodded enthusiastically.

"Fair enough. I don't either." Sana shrugged and turned back to Mina. Her roommate was looking
at her in a funny way with a cute small smile on her face. "What is it?"

"Nothing." She shook her head, stood a little straighter and then cleared her throat. "What if I go
back in there now and tell my beloved coworkers that my roommate has an emergency that needs
my help?"

You wouldn't be lying, Sana nearly blurted out, but ended up just nodding. "I'd back you up."
 "Will you wait for me here? Ten minutes tops."

"Of course." I'd wait for you all night.

True to her words, Mina was in and out of the restaurant in less than ten minutes. Grinning brightly
with the prettiest gummy smile Sana had ever seen as she took her hand and walked together to the
other side of the street. Unfortunately they had to let go as soon as they reached the pub, but
neither of them could ever imagine the chaos they were about to walk in.

They came across a very angry Momo glaring daggers at another girl. Dahyun was standing next to
her, clinging to her arm, and Jeongyeon was standing on the other side with her hands clenched into
fists. Nayeon was sitting right across the girl who seemed to be the object of her friends' hatred.
The tension was tangible and almost suffocating.

Sana and Mina shared a worried look before walking over. They caught a piece of the
conversation- or rather discussion, as they drew closer.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Sana stepped in with Mina right behind her.

"Oh, that's great! Another one."

Sana had no idea what that girl was talking about, but just the tone she used was enough to get into
her nerves.

Whatever it was, it surely wouldn't be good. But she'd definitely find out soon enough.

Chapter End Notes

sorry for the cliffhanger, i hate it as much as you do but i had to do it because next
chapter will be a little longer than usual.

on this topic, coming up next: a taste of samo love, and oh, next chapter is also M
rated (not samo!!! of course)
 fuck the stars
Chapter Summary

Jeongyeon opened her eyes and was faced with the lovely and familiar starry sky. But
then she immediately thought that something was probably wrong because if the stars
were up there and that's supposed to be sky, then why the hell did she feel like she was
in heaven even though she was still down here?

Chapter Notes

heads up! this is important:

as of the next chapter (18) i'll be changing the name of this story to "dejavu". nope, not
after a song this time, but because after all this time i feel like it's more fitting as to
where this story is heading.
i'm letting you know in advance so that subscribers won't be blindsided by the
notification with another title. i'll also put this info in the summary and just keep it
there until we're done.
now off to the chapter. btw, this one includes mature content.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

When Sana decided on the venue for the evening's get-together, all she had in mind was how close
she'd be to Mina. She failed to notice that she had chosen a place near the Dongduk Women's
University, the team with whom they would be playing against the next day.

Their rivalry wasn't as fierce as the one between Yonsei and Sogang, for instance, but since they
were also based in Seoul there was still a bit of drama between them as well. Drama which had
increased even more last season after one of DWU's players got Dahyun seriously injured. It
happened during their very last match before the playoff and it unfortunately ruled her out for the
rest of the season.

All those things had gone completely unnoticed by Sana, but while she was outside with Mina,
such issues happened to hit the surface all at once. Things escalated pretty quickly and it all started
with Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

After Nayeon left a laughing Jeongyeon behind, she sat down by one of the tables while her friends
were hitting the dance floor. Not that she wasn't having fun, of course she was. She just wasn't in
the mood to dance like the rest of her teammates for a change.

But then a girl she didn't know sat down next to her, uninvited. And Nayeon was no fool, she knew
exactly what she wanted. She kept trying to strike up conversation while Nayeon tried to
graciously turn her down. Her efforts went by unnoticed- or rather ignored, but it wasn't long
before someone else noticed her discomfort and came to her rescue.

"Hey, do you need a refill?" Jeongyeon walked over and pointed at the empty cap Nayeon held in
her hand as an excuse to cut in.
She had a feeling she knew this other girl even though she had no idea why. But she wasn't sure if
the bad feeling that came with it was because of that or because she was clearly hitting on her ex-
girlfriend.

"See? I've got company, like I said." Nayeon politely smiled at the other girl.

"So that's the girlfriend?" The possible-acquaintance smirked. There was something in her
challenging tone that didn't sit right with Jeongyeon.

"No, I didn't- I didn't say girlfriend. I just- she asked me if I had company and I said yes." Nayeon
cast aN anxious glance at Jeongyeon as she quickly tried to explain herself, but the goalkeeper
didn't need much to understand what was going on. Nayeon being on the receiving end of
unwelcome attention was nothing unusual, Jeongyeon had just forgotten how annoying it really
was.

"Yeah, I'm the company." She glared at the other girl and sat down next to Nayeon. Didn't touch
her, but slipped a protective arm behind her seat.

"But if you're not her girlfriend you won't mind if we keep talking, will you?" She leaned over to
what Jeongyeon would classify as way too close to Nayeon.

"You know what? You should go." Jeongyeon sounded sterner this time. "We're in a group. You're
taking our friends' place." She kept glaring as a challenging smirk crept in the other girl's lips.

"Wait..." Her smile grew wider and Jeongyeon got confused all of a sudden. "You're Yoo
Jeongyeon, aren't you?"

"You know each other?" Nayeon inquired, sounding just as puzzled as she looked.

"Not that I can remember." Jeongyeon lied. She didn't want to give that satisfaction to someone
who she already didn't like.

"Ouch, way to hurt my feelings." She dramatically brought a hand to her chest and all Jeongyeon
wanted to know was why the hell was she smiling like that?

"Since I don't know you, I'm pretty sure your feelings have never been one of my top priorities."
Jeongyeon coolly shot back.

"Jeongyeon." Nayeon quietly whispered and placed a hand on her knee under the table. She could
almost feel the stress oozing out of her body.

"Well then, looks like you have a watchdog right now. But hey, look for me after the game
tomorrow. I'll score for you." She bit her lip as she gave Nayeon a once over and Jeongyeon never
felt like punching someone so much.

"You're from DWU." Nayeon was the one who pointed it out but a flash of recognition also came
over Jeongyeon on the spot.

This girl was one of the players from the team they would be taking on the next day. They had
played each other before, but Jeongyeon still couldn't put a name on her face. She didn't want to
either. Jeongyeon just wanted her to get the fuck away from her-

"Like I said, you'd better go. If you're going to play tomorrow you shouldn't be out and about
drinking this late, should you?" Jeongyeon pressed. Was she being a bit hypocritical? Yeah,
maybe. But she was one, she had already established that. Besides, she wouldn't be on the field
tomorrow. And no, this girl didn't need to know that.

"Right back at you. At least it's a home game for us. We've got a crowd, I'd say we're pretty
confident." The other player quickly resorted.

"Bold of you to say that when one of us is at the top of the table while the other one desperately
needs the points to qualify. Again." Jeongyeon wasn't the type to engage in trash talk, but this girl
had managed to get under her skin.

"Don't flatter yourself. There's no point in qualifying if you're getting knocked out in the first
round." And she was still too close to Nayeon, what the hell was wrong with her??

"Jeongyeon." Nayeon tried again. She squeezed the goalkeeper's knee a bit harder in a silent plea
for her to stop. Jeongyeon got it and nodded to Nayeon, but she wasn't the one who carried on the
argument.

"At least we did qualify, didn't we? Your team played dirty and you still didn't make it." The three
heads turned to find Momo standing just behind them. Her voice was a bit slurred and her cheeks
slightly flushed, probably from the booze since she had a cup in her hand.

"Babe, it's not worth it." Dahyun was right next to her. Both of her hands grasping Momo's arm.

"Seolhyun, let's go." Another familiar face called out. Probably another DWU player and she was
escorted by two other girls.

"Oh." The Seolhyun girl gaped but it was gone as soon as it came. She quickly schooled her
features and then the smirk was back on. "I remember you." She added looking at Dahyun from
head to toe. "Mean right foot you got over there. Sorry about the tackle tho, we gotta do what we
gotta do, right?" She shrugged, not sounding the least bit sorry like she said she was.

That's the moment when everything finally clicked for Jeongyeon. Dongduk's team. The hell game,
as they had been calling it. Last one of the regular season in which Dahyun got hurt- or rather, was
viciously injured.

"I'd get the hell out of my sight if I were you." Momo warned between gritted teeth. She stepped
forward just to be tugged back by Dahyun. That's when Jeongyeon stood up on the spot. She knew
Momo wouldn't do anything - I mean, it was Momo, for fuck's sake - but she wanted to be prepared
anyway.

"Hold on. Get the hell out of here?? You do know you guys are on our campus, right?" Seolhyun
promptly replied.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Sana finally showed up. And with Mina right behind her,
Jeongyeon noticed. Wait, didn't Mina have some other plans for tonight? She pondered but didn't
have time to think about it for more than a second.

"Oh, that's great! Another one."

"We might be near your campus but technically we're not in it." Nayeon pointed out. She was still
sitting but also looking around like she was looking for someone.

"Don't worry, beautiful. You can hang out with us." She winked at Nayeon.

"Seolhyun! We gotta go." The other girl called out again.

"Why don't you listen to both your friend and mine and fucking scram already?" Jeongyeon all but
growled. Her nails digging into her own palms.

"I think I know what's going on here." Seolhyun turned back to her friends. Out of the three girls
behind her now, only one of them had the decency to look embarrassed whereas the other two
seemed to be having the time of their lives. "They're still bummed about our last game." She
looked up at Dahyun. "What? Don't you like it when it gets a little rough?"

"What did you just say??" Momo snapped.

"What I mean," Seolhyun didn't lose her wry smile. "Is that you guys shouldn't be on the field if
you can't handle a little physical play. It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Are you for real??" Momo stepped forward and that was the cue for Nayeon to jump to her feet.
She was now standing between them and looking genuinely preoccupied. "You think I don't know
your record? You have at least one of those 'not a big deal' plays every fucking season. You
probably have more cards in one year than I have in my entire career."

"Uh, stalker much?" Seolhyun wagged her eyebrows. "Are you into me or something?"

"You think that's cute? Being a dirty player isn't something you should be proud of!" Momo finally
lost her cool. She unconsciously shook the cup in her hand and spilled almost half the drink on the
floor.

"Momo." Dahyun called out again as she tightened her grip on her girlfriend's arm.

"Now it's not our fault your players are made out of glass."

No, that's it. Jeongyeon had heard enough. She was about to speak up but Sana beat her to it.

"Okay, hold on." She stepped forward and looked down at Seolhyun. The other player was still
sitting and her whole demeanor screamed nonchalantly. "You know, this girl over there is pretty
much the sweetest person I know. So if you've managed to piss her off, that's kind of a major event
in my world because the only person she ever fights is me, and only because I like to mess with her
girlfriend sometimes." Her tone was deep, cool and threatening. It carried the authority of someone
who shouldn't be messed with. "And by the way, the girl you recklessly hurt last year? Yeah, that's
exactly her girlfriend we're talking about. So I'd shut the fuck up and get the hell out of here if I
were you."

"Sorry, but did anyone here ask for a story time?" Seolhyun scoffed. Her voice was overflowing
with irony as she dramatically glanced sideways. "If what you're trying to say is that I should feel
threatened by her, I'm sorry to break it to you but I-"

"Momo? Oh no, she wouldn't hurt a fly. She wants to settle it by beating you on the field all over
again, just like you deserve. So no, she's threatening you. But me? Yeah, I don't have the same
morals." Sana propped her hands on the table and leaned closer as her eyes bored into Seolhyun.
"And she's not only my teammate, she's also my best friend too. I know, it's weird since I'm so
much cooler than her. But trust me, I've been dying to kick your ass since last season and I'm not
the least bit worried about waiting until our game. I don't care how we settle it as long as we do, so
if it's up to me I say we do it right now. What about you, huh? How do you wanna play this?"

"Seolhyun." The other girl, the only one who looked worried, called out for her friend once again.

They looked at each other for a while, it felt like a staring contest. The bar was still busy but no
one was paying attention to them. Any outsider couldn't even tell that it was a quarrel, but none of
the spectators could breathe until Seolhyun eventually caved.

"Guess I'll see you in the field tomorrow." Seolhyun kept a fake smile as she stood up without
breaking eye contact with Sana. "And you, look for me after the game." She winked at Nayeon one
last time and turned away. Walked out with her friends trailing right behind her.

"What a bitch." Sana hissed as soon as they disappeared into the crowd.

"Okay. What's that all about?" Nayeon asked as she sat down again.

"She's a DWU player." Sana pointed out. She took Mina by the hand and led her to sit next to
Nayeon.

"That much I realized, Sherlock. I wanna know what's up with all this drama." Jeongyeon and
Mina shared a look and greeted each other wordlessly. No one questioned her presence there.

"She's the player who got me hurt last year. It was a pretty bad tackle, I didn't even see it coming."
Dahyun clarified. She was also sitting now and Momo already had her arms around her. "I didn't
even notice, Momo's the one who recognized her."

"Where the fuck is Jihyo? She could've helped us out!" Nayeon grumply grumbled glancing
sideways again. Oh, so that's who she was looking for, Jeongyeon noted.

"Look, I'm sorry." Momo apologized. She was addressing all of them, but she was looking at her
girlfriend. She placed a hand on her face and gently stroked her cheek, prompting Dahyun to lean
into her touch. "I didn't mean to make a scene. I just didn't think it through."

"You don't need to apologize."

"Yes, I do, Sana. And you shouldn't have stirred up a fight either. That's not how we do things."
Momo scolded her best friend.

"It's not like I'm innocent either." Jeongyeon acknowledged in an apologetic tone. She had her arms
tightly crossed against her chest, sulking and still fighting an internal battle with the lingering bad
feeling inside her chest.

"Well, I'm not going to say I'm sorry because I'm not." Sana glaced at Momo, looking just as sulky
as Jeongyeon. "They're nothing but dirty players who love to run their mouths but can barely put up
a fight on the field unless they're being violent. I'd never bend to these assholes and I won't let you
guys do it either."

"No one is talking about bending, you idiot." Momo glared at her. "I just don't think we should
sink to their level if we do have a good team to respond on the field."

"Whatever." Sana shrugged and avoided Momo's gaze at all costs.

The rest of the night went by in a blur. Jihyo eventually showed up and scolded everyone involved
as Nayeon related the whole story to their captain. When asked about her absence, Jihyo said that
she went out for some air. She also told them that she ran into the DWU players leaving when she
was coming back in. Eventually they also had to tell the rest of the team what had happened -
sparing a few details, of course - so that they'd all be aware of the mess they were likely to be
getting into the next day, but they all agreed that Coach Bae shouldn't hear anything about it since
they had enough problems already.

The game, as expected, was nothing short of chaotic.

Despite not playing that match, Jeongyeon tagged along with the team just the same. She'd spend a
couple of games on the bench since the intensity of the last few matches reminded her that
unfortunately she still had an injury that prevented her from giving her very best. She had been
feeling some pain in the last few trainings sessions so she immediately told the coach about it
because that's their agreement. Jeongyeon should always let her know when she needed a break,
not only so that her condition wouldn't get any worse, but also for the sake of the team, which
obviously couldn't be on the field with someone who wasn't at the top of their game. And that
moment was also the best time to spare some players and give them a little rest since they were in a
comfortable position in the table. Therefore, Jihyo, Dahyun and Tzuyu were also on the bench that
evening.

DWU got the lead out of a hasty move by Yeji and Jeongyeon felt bad about it even though she
knew it wasn't her fault. Not that Yeji was a bad goalkeeper by any means, she was pretty good but
she was still a freshman. Rookies were usually much more nervous than the others, so they were
also more likely to make mistakes. Jeongyeon knew that, she had been there before. Even though
technically that game was worth nothing but three points which they didn't desperately need at that
moment, there was still the moral pressure of the whole mess the night before. But at least the goal
wasn't scored by Seolhyun, so it could have been worse.

But fuck, they needed to win. They needed a draw at the very least.

Once they reached half-time, Jeongyeon slipped an arm around Yeji's shoulders and patiently
explained exactly how she could've prevented that goal. She didn't scold her or make her feel bad
about it, her only goal was to make sure that everything was okay and help her backup become a
better player. After all, Yeji was playing a good match, she had only failed once and it
unfortunately led to the goal.

The coaching staff decided to change strategies for the second half. They urged the team to shoot
more instead of working on possession, since DWU was a very... well, physical team, for the lack
of a better word. Every time someone would hold the ball for a while, a DWU player would always
pop up to commit a foul.

Besides, Nayeon had noticed that their goalkeeper didn't really position herself very well. She was
always hanging out at the edge of the box. So the new plan was plain and simple: they'd go for
clinical finish. No more chips in the box or dangerous long passes, if they were open enough they
must shoot towards the goal. Go for it.

Fortunately it worked perfectly well since the first goal came within five minutes into the second
half. Sana scored with a shot from outside the box, a beautiful cracker that went way up the
goalkeeper's reach and got them the equalizer. It made the whole bench jump in celebration and
Jeongyeon even caught Coach Bae high-fiving Nayeon. Cute.

With more confidence and an almost similar play, Chaeyoung put the ball on the back of the net
and got them the lead with a lob under twenty minutes left in the game. Bliss overtook Yonsei's
team but only until a mishap happened.

They couldn't say they were surprised because they definitely saw it coming, but one of DWU's
players violently side tackled Momo for no reason at all since she was only controlling the ball in
the midfield. The opponent got carded but wait- a yellow?? That's all?? That should be a straight
red at the very least!! Maybe half of Yonsei players went up to complain over the referee's poor
call, Jihyo was one of the first to jump off the bench.

The argument kept going as Sana reached out to check on Momo. She was sitting on the grass and
gritting her teeth as she moved her ankle to check the level of pain. It didn't look so bad, but Sana
thought it was best to call for medical attention anyway just to be sure.

But it was right there, the exact moment where hell broke loose.

Another DWU player yelled something about Momo being faking it. Said she dove and that she
was stalling to hold up the score. It obviously made Sana see red as everyone saw her best friend
flying almost a meter up in the air when she got a harsh sliding tackle coming her way, so she got
up to see who it was and came face to face with Seolhyun.

"Say that again." Sana angrily roared. She wasn't intimidated by the several inches her opponent
had over her.

"What?? That she's diving? Because she just d-" Seolhyun didn't get to finish because Sana pushed
her so hard that her opponent fell ass first on the grass.

"What about you? Did you just dive too??" Sana glared down at her.

Needless to say that it just added fuel to the fire. The whole mess never really got physical, just a
lot of yelling from both sides and some shoving here and there.

But it ended up with both Sana and Seolhyun getting red cards and being sent off while everyone
else involved in the fuss got yellows. Even Jeongyeon who had run off the bench just to keep it
from escalating any further also got a yellow card by getting in between an angry Sana and another
DWU player. Whereas Momo also had to be replaced by Yves due to her brand new sore ankle.

"We gotta get Son out now, they have nothing left to lose. Last time when they realized they
wouldn't make it to the playoffs they went for Kim just because she scored against them." Nayeon
advised Coach Bae after watching Sana disappear down the locker room with Jeongyeon following
closely behind her. "Minatozaki is out, but they might still go for Son just out of spite."

"How do you know about Kim One?" Bae cocked an eyebrow at Nayeon. She hadn't asked her
assistant to watch any of the old games that time. First because she herself was quite familiar with
DWU's team and also because that game wasn't that important anyway.

"I- uh, I watched a few games. Thought I'd better do my homework anyway." Nayeon answered
carefully. She didn't mention that she only spent the night watching that specific game because she
wanted to know what they were up against due to the trouble they got themselves into the night
before.

"Good job, Im." Bae appreciated her intern's commitment. "Put Shin in." Coach prompted and
Nayeon nodded. She was about to call Ryujin when Bae called out again. "Take Kim Two out too.
That girl's most likely to end up getting another yellow and being ejected as well." Nayeon just
nodded again. Didn't need to ask who she should put in, she already knew the drill pretty well at
that point.

"Ryujin. Soojin. You guys are going in. Let's go!" Nayeon relayed the proper instructions to the
players and requested the fourth referee for the sub. Looking up at the score she prayed that the last
ten minutes would fly by.

Meanwhile, inside the locker room, Sana just walked in and plopped down on one of the benches.
Jeongyeon knew she didn't wanna talk about it, she was just there to keep her company.

She was familiar with Sana being a rather explosive person, but up until that day the midfielder had
never been involved in such kind of trouble. Yeah, she sure had a lot of words, Sana also loved to
run her mouth. But that's fine because that's just who she was. Besides, that's exactly the point.
Sana had always been too good with words. People believed whatever she said so much that she
never had to actually act on any of her threats.

She didn't need to act on it tonight either, they were leading the score after all. All she had to do
was to ignore and move on, but something apparently made her lose her temper this time.
Jeongyeon didn't know exactly what had happened, but she didn't need to understand to be there
and offer her unconditional support. So she just sat there and held her friend's hand for as long as
she could.

When they finally reached full-time and the rest of the team headed back to the locker room, the
mood was as good as a funeral even though they bagged an away win. No one dared to utter a word
as they settled into their seats. They didn't run to the showers or changed like they'd do every single
time. Just sat and waited for their coach to address them.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon locked eyes amidst the silence. A simple look and Jeongyeon knew what
she wanted to ask, "Is Sana okay?" and with a shrug she replied "I don't know, we haven't talked."
Nayeon nodded and waited with the rest as Coach Bae paced back and forth while everyone kept
their heads hanging low.

"So-"

"I'm sorry, Coach." Sana surprised everyone by standing up. Not only for speaking up, but also for
interrupting their coach. "It was my fault, I lost it. I'm still mad about what they did in our last
game and I let it get to me. I'm sorry I got so many of our players carded."

"Minatozaki." Bae breathed heavily and rubbed her temples as if she was having the worst
headache ever. "What you did out there was really, really fucking stupid." Sana flinched. They all
did, actually. But she held her head high and ready to be harangued or whatever punishment she
was likely to get. "You shouldn't pick a fight at an away game. If you have a problem, you wait for
them to come to you so you can solve it inside your own home turf, got it?"

"Y-yes?" Okay, that's definitely not the kind of scolding they were expecting. The players gawked
at each other in utter confusion, and Sana stammered although she nodded vigorously.

"Let it be clear that I'm not encouraging any quarrels by any means. I'm just teaching the right way
to do it since I'm here to teach you. And I'm not even saying they deserved it, but now it's even
harder for them to get through to the playoffs, since yellow cards are a tie-breaker." Bae shrugged.
"That being said, that was the worst level of refereeing I've seen in a long time. Minatozaki
obviously deserved the red, but most of your teammates didn't deserve the yellows just for trying to
help. Except you two." Bae pointed at Chaeyoung and Yerim. "Don't think I didn't hear the things
you were yelling at the referee. You guys pretty much begged for the cards, I don't want to see any
of that again."

A few muffled chuckles filled the locker room and the mood felt lighter. Sana sat down again and
Jeongyeon reassuringly patted her thigh.

"Anyways," Bae drawled. She sounded as tired as she looked. "We all know they're a dirty team
and the referee was also trash. For now let's just enjoy the win and be happy that no one got
seriously hurt."

"So Momo's okay?" Dahyun asked. Her girlfriend had been taken away as soon as she was
replaced.

"Yes." Nayeon stepped forward and explained after Coach Bae cast a glance to pass her the floor
since she was the one who talked to the medical crew. "She's already on the bus, it's just a sprained
ankle. She'll need some rest, but it wasn't anything too serious."

"I told you she'd be fine. Momo's built different." Jihyo playful nudged her shoulder and Dahyun
breathed out looking visibly relieved. Everyone was.

"Im, I want a letter on my desk by Monday. A formal complaint against this terrible level of
refereeing. We'll send it to the league administration and request a reversal of all the yellow cards."

"Yes, ma'am." Nayeon answered promptly. Didn't seem fazed by the new task.

"Minatozaki, you'll be helping Im with the letter. And you'll also help her with all her duties for a
while." Coach Bae seemed pleased to finally choose the appropriate punishment for Sana.
"Consider yourself the intern's intern for the next month."

"Yes, ma'am." Sana closed her eyes and comically shook her head as soon as Coach Bae turned
around.

"Now get out of this dirty clothes already so we can get out of here." Bae called out before walking
out the door and stepping out of the locker room. "I'm not spending an entire hour on a bus filled
with twenty plus sweaty women. Hurry up."

...

The drive back home was different for everyone. While some talked about the match or the coach's
surprising reaction, others chatted about completely random stuff or just didn't talk at all. It had
been a hard day and a tiring game, so most of them just wanted to take a nap. In theory it should be
only a one-hour trip, but the traffic was terribly slow that night.

Momo was sitting up front. It wasn't the place she'd normally choose, but her injured ankle didn't
give her much of a choice. What was also different from usual was that Dahyun wasn't sitting next
to her like she always did because the young striker knew very well how these things worked.
Every time Momo or Sana felt like they had a bad game, the two of them would sit together on the
ride back home, so this time wouldn't be different.

They didn't always want to talk at times like these. Sometimes they just needed to be quiet and
appreciate each other's presence. That night, however, Sana started talking as soon as the vehicle
started moving.

"I'm sorry." She apologized in low and quiet japanese.

"For standing up for me?" Momo chuckled and followed the cue to carry on the conversation in
their mother tongue.

"For being a shitty friend lately, actually." She confessed as she nervously stared at her clenched
fists.

"Sana-" Momo took one of Sana's hands between hers, but she just went on.

"I know you don't like that kind of stuff. These petty fights and trash talk, I mean. You're not like
that and I respect that. But I also know that I've been letting you down recently and I think I
overreacted because of it. I saw you hurting and I felt like I had to make up for something. I lost it
because you-"

"Sana!" Momo cut in again, she wasn't keeping up. "Wait, slow down. What are you talking
about?" She frowned and looked at her best friend with worried eyes.

"You know what." Sana cast Momo a vulnerable glance with pleading eyes. The ones which she
didn't normally let anyone else see and the kind that said all the things she couldn't say aloud.

"Okay, hold on. No, I actually don't know. You're not being a shitty friend. Where the hell did that
come from?"

"I am, though." Sana took a deep breath and looked away. "When we came to Korea we promised
that we wouldn't... change. But sometimes I feel like we're changing and I know it's my fault."

"We're not changing."

"Then why do I feel like we are??"

"You tell me." Momo knew she had to walk Sana through it to get the answers she needed. "Break
it down for me, please"

"We barely have time to ourselves anymore, we just hang out when we're with the other girls. And
it's not that I don't like it, but I still miss you." Sana stared at the cars upfront, her eyes fixed on the
road ahead. She didn't trust herself not to break if she saw the look she knew all too well it's
plastered all over Momo's face. "But I know it doesn't make sense because I'm the one who has
been canceling our plans. I'm distant and evasive and you're just too damn nice to call me out on
this. And I keep telling myself that's because I've been busy, but the truth is that I've been hiding
things from you. So I feel like I'm lying to you when we're together and I hate being around you
knowing that because you wouldn't do this to me. You'd never, but I still keep doing this to you
anyway."

Neither of them said anything for a while. When Sana felt like the silence had been dragging on for
far too long she looked at Momo only to find her blanking staring at the window with some unshed
tears in her eyes.

"Please say something." Sana all but begged.

"You don't have to feel like you're lying to me because you're not, Sana." Momo spoke quietly. She
didn't spare a glance at the girl next to her, but still kept their hands clasped together. "You may
think you're hiding things, but I know you better than anyone. I know that if you were actually
trying to hide something from me, I wouldn't be knowing nor seeing the things I do." Sana
frowned. "You're way too good when you're really trying to hide something, so if you're letting me
know it's because you don't want to hide it, even if you don't notice." Momo sighed heavily and
finally looked at her. "I see it, Sana. I see you. I know what's going on and I understand that you
may not be ready to talk about it right now." Sana squeezed her hand a bit tighter as tears pricked
at the corners of her eyes. "It doesn't make me love you less and it won't make us change or grow
apart. Sometimes we need to fight our battles alone and I know you'll come to me when you're
ready."

"So you're not upset?" Sana whispered and leaned against Momo's shoulder.

"I was." She confessed. "First I thought you didn't want to spend time with me. And then I started
to think you didn't trust me anymore."

"That's not it!" Sana sat up straight. "I swear, I just... I'm trying to figure some things out right
now."

"I know that now." Momo nodded. "But I need to ask you something."
"Go ahead." Sana wiped the tears off her face. She had a reputation to uphold.

"I know you have a lot of things on your plate since last year and I also know that I have to wait
until you're ready to talk to me because usually you don't accept help unless you're the one who
willingly seeks it, but..." Momo flinched but she needed to put that out there. She needed to know
at least that much. "But I want to know if she tried to reach out again."

"Oh." Sana awkwardly bit her lower lip and looked away. "She did, actually. A few times but I
didn't answer. And I don't plan on doing so either."

"You really haven't changed your mind, have you?" Momo tilted her head to try to make eye
contact but Sana wouldn't let her.

"No, didn't. And I won't. You're my family, nothing is going to change that." Sana decidedly
replied.

"I know but if you want to-"

"Momo-"

"No, Sana, I need to say it." A stronger grip on Sana's hand and Momo got her to keep quiet. "I'm in
your team. I'll always have you back. Whether it's to personally tell that bitch to fuck off and leave
you alone, or to go to the nearst precinct and get a restraining order. I'm with you, you know that,
don't you?"

"I do know." Sana turned her gaze back to Momo. She smiled faintly and nodded. "And I love you
for that."

"Okay." Momo let go of her hand and wiped her own tears which somehow managed to escape.
"I'm not going to tell you that I love you again. Soft hours are officially closed." Momo added but
then Sana launched herself on top of her, hugging her tightly. "I said it's over! Let go of me!! My
foot is hurt!!!"

"Okay, now it's closed." Sana went back to her seat, grinning and satisfied after pouring kisses all
over Momo's face.

"Actually I have one more thing I wanna say." Momo mentioned as she ran her hands over her
cheeks to wipe her face as if Sana had somehow actually infected her. "You're not a shitty friend,
alright? And you'll never be one because there's no way I'm not keeping you in line. You're the
best."

Sana turned bright red. She kept her voice down but there was no hint of teasing in her tone. "I
thought soft hours were closed."

"Shut up. It's definitely closed now."

"Wait, can you say that again? Just one more time?" Sana looked shy all of a sudden and Momo
frowned.

"That you're not a bad friend?"

"No, the last part."

"You're the best?" Momo confusingly asked.

"Yeah, exactly." Sana laid a hand on Momo's shoulder and looked right into her eyes. Momo
realized all too late the wicked smile that broke across her face. "That's what your girlfriend told
me last night."

Yep, soft hours were definitely closed now. It didn't take a minute before they were fighting again.

...

A little further behind, Nayeon and Jeongyeon also happened to be sitting together. Nayeon was
thoroughly exhausted, she had barely slept since she stayed up until late to watch the so-called hell
game after they got home from the pub.

Jeongyeon, on the other hand, was in a terrible mood. She was already upset enough that she
couldn't play that game, but the fact that she got a card without even playing made it even worse.
She needed to get it out of her system so all she wanted to do was complain. That was her one and
only goal for the whole ride. About the game. About the fight. About the goddamned bad traffic.
About everything, really. Anything would do. Even the poor driver got some of her backlash.

"Holy shit, this guy drives like an old man. At this rate we'll never get home." Jeongyeon whined.

"We're in the middle of a traffic jam, Jeong. It's not like he can make the bus fly."

"Maybe he should."

"Well then, feel free to take over his place if you think you can make it." Nayeon was comfortably
lying on the seat by the window. Arms crossed and eyes closed hoping that she'd get some rest.

"Maybe I will." Jeongyeon also crossed her arms, pouting like a spoiled child.

"Yeah, sure. Because you did so well when you first started learning how to drive, didn't you? You
could definitely drive an entire bus on your first try." Nayeon casually replied, remembering one of
those moments Jeongyeon didn't like to talk about.

"You promised you'd never talk about it!!" Jeongyeon whined again.

"I said I wouldn't tell other people, I never said I wouldn't tease you about it." Nayeon opened her
eyes and tilted her head, looking at her with an amused grin on her face.

"If you keep this up we're gonna talk about how you were jealous of Sana last night." Jeongyeon
shot back and Nayeon glared at her right away.

"Shut up." She replied bitterly, mimicking her ex-girlfriend's bad mood. "Actually, you know
what? Let's shut up the both of us. I'm too tired for this shit right now."

Nayeon closed her eyes again and leaned her head against the window. She put a jacket over her
face and overheard Jeongyeon laughing, but soon the goalkeeper was quiet as well and the only
sounds she could hear were the muffled conversations around the bus.

Honestly, she didn't plan on falling asleep since she wasn't really good at sleeping on a moving
bus. But she was beyond tired and by the time she realized it, her mind had already drifted far
away.

And so she dreamed.

Not just any dream, but a memory as well. A memory which she had held close to her heart for
years and which Jeongyeon had helped her remember a few minutes ago.

As always, it started with a plan. Nayeon always had one. And the plan for that particular night
was to try to bring up a specific topic and maybe have this talk with her girlfriend.

Oh yes, a conversation she had been meaning to have for a few weeks, but she still didn't really
know how to start. She hadn't found the right time yet, but she worked hard to build the perfect
chance that night. With a borrowed car, smuggled wine, good food and a nice movie, everything
she needed for the perfect romantic date.

So that's how they found themselves inside a car that technically belonged to the striker, but the
goalkeeper was the one who was trying to drive it. Emphasis on trying.

"It doesn't even make sense, why the fuck should I find a… a what? A bite point??" Jeongyeon
grumply grumbled.

"It's not that hard, Jeong." Nayeon was trying to hold back her smile. "Let's go over it one more
time. First you put the clutch pedal all the way down, then you move the stick into first gear and
gradually press down on the accelerator. After that you let go of the clutch little by little and when
you start to feel the car roll a bit you can push the handbrake down and go for it."

"Babe, I'm afraid you gonna have to dumb it down for me."

"Clutch is on the left, the accelerator is the right one and the brakes are in the middle. But you need
to memorize that soon though."

"Okay, alright. I've got this." Jeongyeon in fact did not get it.

Her grip on the steering wheel became tighter and she tried to do exactly what Nayeon said. At
least she thought she did, but the car just made a funny noise and didn't move like it was supposed
to.

"You didn't move the car into first gear!" Nayeon laughed as Jeongyeon cursed under her breath,
and when she did change gears the car just stalled all of a sudden. "You also have to keep pressing
the clutch when you're changing gears, babe. We've already talked about this."

"You know what, forget it! That's not my thing." Jeongyeon cried out as she removed her seatbelt
and got out of the truck. She slammed the door shut and went around the vehicle.

"Come back! Let's try it one more time. You need to practice so we can get our licenses together."
Nayeon called out to her but she didn't move. Couldn't, actually, since she was too busy fighting
with her own stuck seatbelt.

"Maybe next time." Jeongyeon popped up by the passenger window, frowning and pouting like the
big baby she was. She opened the door and easily helped Nayeon free herself, then the striker
pulled the handbrake before getting out of the vehicle.

"You just have to be a little more patient." Nayeon tried as Jeongyeon took her by the hand and
guided her back to where her girlfriend had set up their date.

They had just watched a movie in the trunk of the old S10. The vehicle was parked in a remote area
of the Im family ranch, where they had been spending a long weekend with Nayeon's grandmother.

"Easy for you to say, Miss I've Been Driving Since I was Fifteen." The goalkeeper grumbled as she
helped Nayeon up. Both leaving their shoes on the grass and settling among the blankets and
pillows inside the pickup truck.

Yes, indeed Nayeon had been very premature in that regard. Her grandmother had taught her how
to drive in that very same car when she was basically still a child. However, she made Nayeon
promise that she would only do it with her permission and only on the family estates, which her
granddaughter had been faithfully obeying ever since.

Nayeon even went as far as asking her grandmother for permission to give Jeongyeon a few lessons
since the two of them were almost old enough to get their licenses, which the elder gladly granted.
But Jeongyeon was nothing if not stubborn, so when she wasn't immediately good at something she
thought she'd never get it.

"Well, you could be Miss I've Been Driving Since Eighteen if you weren't so stubborn." Nayeon
tried again as she was wrapped in her girlfriend's arms.

"Let's try again tomorrow." Jeongyeon promised and hugged Nayeon tighter. She threw a blanket
over them and placed a kiss on her cheek.

"Okay." Nayeon cuddled up, placing her head on Jeongyeon's shoulder. The two of them stared at
the wide starry sky.

Away from the city lights the stars were always brighter so stargazing was a must for them
whenever they were there. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they just watched in silence, but the
main event wasn't the stars, it was enjoying each other's company in that peace.

"I wish Jihyo was here." Jeongyeon said after a while.

Nayeon, who was still mustering up the courage to bring up the topic that had been on the back of
her mind, frowned and withdrew the hand she had been using to trace patterns on her girlfriend's
hip.

"That's definitely not the kind of thing I was planning to hear when I'm trying to get into your
pants, but fine I guess." She thoughtlessly blurted out and wished she could disappear when she
realized what she had said.

Jeongyeon probably thought she was only joking because she just laughed it off and apologized in
an awfully amused tone. "I'm sorry, I'm just worried about her."

"I know." Nayeon pulled away to look at her eyes. Propped herself up on her elbow and caressed
her face, running her thumb along her jawline just because she could.

Nayeon was missing Jihyo too, and she knew that their best friend really wanted to come along on
that short trip. Yet, a week earlier, Jihyo's plans had been changed when she got the news that one
of her sisters was getting engaged. She would've to attend the party which also happened to be that
weekend.

"And I love that about you." Nayeon added and watched as Jeongyeon's lips gradually changed
from a pout to a huge smile.

"Gosh, you love me." Jeongyeon's head fell back as she giggled with her eyes closed.

"What?" Nayeon snickered and frowned amusedly. "Of course I do. We've established that
already."

"I know, it's just that... I'm not used to hearing it yet." She bit her lip to try to keep her smile in
check.

"I can stop any time." Nayeon settled for teasing.

"No, thanks. Please don't." Jeongyeon knew she was joking but she still rolled onto her side to
come face to face with her girlfriend.

"I meant I could stop saying it, not stop loving you." Nayeon mused.

"Don't even think about it." Jeongyeon placed a hand on her girlfriend's waist. Nayeon smiled in
response and leaned in for a quick peck before laying flat on her back again, staring up at the stars.

"I'm just kidding." She clarified even though she didn't have to.

"I know." The goalkeeper sighed as she watched her watch the stars. "I- uh, I wanna tell you
something." She hesitantly started and kept going when Nayeon nodded. "Remember how I was a
little... unwilling toward you in the beginning? When you first moved in."

"Vaguely." Her tone was wry and yet playful. Nayeon tilted her head to look up at her girlfriend
who was still on her side, lying with her elbow propped on a pillow and her head resting on her
hand.

And right there, right at that moment… under the moonlight, watching Jeongyeon's profile from
that angle and realizing once again just how effortless beautiful she was, Nayeon's only thought
was fuck the stars. She was pretty sure that the brightest celestial object in the whole solar system
was lying right there next to her.

"I already apologized." She pointed out with a crooked smile. Nayeon's heart always threatened to
burst out of her chest every single time she smiled at her like that.

"I know, but why are you talking about it now?" Nayeon wondered, still mesmerized by her
girlfriend.

"Because I never told you why."

"And you wanna tell me now?" Jeongyeon nodded and she signaled for her to continue.

"I was afraid." Jeongyeon confessed and looked away. "I felt threatened by you."

"Why?" Nayeon pursed her lips. Her hands were distractedly playing with the hem of Jeongyeon's
shirt.

"Because you and Jihyo got along so well at first, but you and I- well, we just... didn't click. And I
know that was mostly my fault but I thought you were going to steal my best friend." Jeongyeon
kept studying her surroundings like she was searching for the right words. "I don't know how to
explain it, but you have a different connection."

"So do the both of you. And the two of us, for that matter. It's all different bonds." Nayeon tried to
reason.

"I know. But what I'm trying to say is that you understand each other in a different way. A way I
know I won't ever be able to." She finally found the right words and Nayeon got a grasp of where
she was getting at.

Both she and Jihyo had what they might call family issues. Nayeon was in that well-known
situation with both parents while Jihyo didn't have a very stable family either. Daughter of
divorcees, just like Nayeon, her father lived abroad while her mother treated her daughters'
upbringing as her own personal projects, making Jihyo's life an everlong competition with her two
older sisters.

"I get it, but I'm also glad you don't." I'm glad you're more fortunate than we are. That's what she
meant, but she didn't want to make Jeongyeon uncomfortable by actually saying it. That's a topic
Nayeon and Jihyo had talked about before, they just hadn't shared it with Jeongyeon up until then.

"Me too." She confessed again, flinching a little as the words left her mouth. "But sometimes I used
to feel selfish because of that. That's why I felt like you deserved to be Jihyo's best friend and I
didn't."

"You never have to feel guilty about it, Jeongyeon." Nayeon sat up so she could express herself
better. Not that it'd change anything, but it made sense to her. "Jihyo and I are very grateful for
both you and your family. Not only because you deserve it, but also because you're our safe place."
Nayeon elaborated, talking not only about the girl next to her, but also about her family who had
always welcomed the pair with open arms no matter what.

Essentially, Jeongyeon was right. The bond between Nayeon and Jihyo was different. They both
loved Jeongyeon more than anything and they knew pretty well that they wouldn't have made it
that far without all the support she and her family provided. But sometimes all they needed was
someone to bitch and whine about their parents without feeling guilty about it afterwards. That and
among other things that Nayeon and Jihyo could only do together, and Jeongyeon understood that.

"I know. Now I know, actually. But I wanted to tell you the truth since I already told Jihyo before.
Just wanted you to know as well." Jeongyeon smiled. Not only relieved, but also heartfelt.

"Thank you for telling me." Nayeon kept staring at her for a while. Too long, she realized when
she saw her girlfriend's warm smile turn into a rather cocky grin. "But hey, we're quite a team if
you think about it." She changed the topic to light up the mood. "I'm the muscle, you know. And
the resourcefulness too, of course. Jihyo is the brain and also our backbone. And you're... the
visual. Yep, that's it. I'd add other qualities if you had any but I'm afraid we'll have to stop right
here."

Jeongyeon guffawed and the smile she had didn't fade. Yeah, only Nayeon would try to drag her
like that. She also sat up and pulled Nayeon closer, bringing her face only inches away from hers.
She glanced at her lips before looking into her eyes.

"What was it you were saying earlier? About trying to get into my pants or something like that."
Uh, right. Did she really say that out loud? Nayeon had already forgotten about it but Jeongyeon
certainly hadn't.

"Uh, I, um, I was just messing with you." She lied and looked away. Stared at the trees off in the
distance as she nervously fiddled her hands.

"Were you really?" Jeongyeon pushed Nayeon by her shoulder until she was lying down again.
Then she settled down on her side, hovering over her.

"No." She admitted with a yelp when Jeongyeon's cold hand reached under her shirt. "I just...
maybe I've been thinking about it lately."

"Yeah?" Jeongyeon was practically on top of her now. She asked in a low, husky tone and placed a
kiss on the corner of her mouth. "How much have you been thinking about it?"
"A lot..." She confessed as she guided her girlfriend to straddle her.

"I'm not... against that idea." Jeongyeon covered Nayeon's hands with her own and moved them up
until they reached the hem her shirt.

"Really?" Nayeon gulped. Her mouth went dry and her body was throbbing in anticipation.

"I've been thinking about it too, if we're being honest." The fact that she didn't break eye contact
did something to Nayeon. Aroused something, probably.

"How much have you been thinking about it?" She repeated her girlfriend's words and Jeongyeon
giggled, making her shift on top of Nayeon. It also prompted Nayeon to squirm underneath her as a
growing familiar pressure was building inside her abdomen.

"Do you think..." Jeongyeon gulped and fumbled a bit like the nervous wreck she was, glancing
around the Im family estate. The few lamps hanging from the trees and poles were too far away,
and the big mansion was even further back. "Do you think someone might come up here now?"

"The employees have all been cleared and the dogs are out. They're definitely barking if they see
any strangers." She didn't need to give it a second thought. The answer was on the tip of her tongue
because Nayeon had already made a mental note of it all.

"So you did make an elaborate plan to get into my pants tonight, Im Nayeon." Jeongyeon teased
with a grin on her face. Nayeon blushed and bit her lip.

"Actually, my original plan was just to ask you about it, but since you're so eager..." Nayeon shot a
quick glance at her waist where Jeongyeon's hands were still holding Nayeon's.

"I really am." She said a little above a whisper. Every trace of teasing was now gone from
Jeongyeon's voice and Nayeon wasn't expecting it to turn her on so much. "Can we...?"

"Wow, yes! We totally can. We fucking can! If there's one thing we can do, that's it." Nayeon
chuckled nervously and her own body rocking made the two of them wobble again. The pounding
heartbeat inside her chest only increased.

Without another word Jeongyeon lunged forward and captured Nayeon's lips in a rough and deep
kiss. She wanted it just as much as Nayeon, but she was aware that if she left it to the other girl,
she'd just keep stuttering and making jokes, too nervous to actually make a move. She knew her
well enough to easily recognize all the cracks in her girlfriend's otherwise confident facade.

Once their lips met Nayeon moved her hands to Jeongyeon's back to bring her closer. Jeongyeon
was all over her now and at the same rate Nayeon wanted to stay there forever, she also wanted the
whole thing to move forward becau- oh no, no. She soon realized that she definitely wanted it to
move forward a lot more when her girlfriend's hands traced its way up her body until she cupped
her breasts. With a firm squeeze Jeongyeon made Nayeon bite down hard on her lip, buck her hips
up, close her eyes even tighter and fight back a groan.

That's the kind of thing they had done before. Intense make out sessions with harder bites and
wandering hands, but it was definitely different now that she knew they'd go all the way. Damn,
she was really going to do it with Jeongyeon. She and Jeongyeon together, and not just whatever
stupid scenarios in her imagination. But wait, what if she was dreaming again? Fucking lucid
dreams and-

Nope, no way. It definitely wasn't a dream.

She knew it for sure when Jeongyeon sat down on top of her again. She set herself on her hips and
moved to pull her own shirt over her head, flinging the garment behind her back right after. Then
she ran her hand through her hair and holy shit, Nayeon mused to herself, that's the most
breathtaking sight she had ever seen.

Dazzled, Nayeon could do nothing but stare for a while. From top to bottom, like she had never
seen her girlfriend shirtless before. However, upon meeting her face again, she found Jeongyeon's
eyes misty and worried.

"What is it?" Nayeon used her arms to push her torso up. She tried to sit up, but the position wasn't
ideal since Jeongyeon was still on her lap. "We don't have to do this tonight." Nayeon placed a
hand on her cheek, gently prompting the goalkeeper to look at her.

"I know, but I really want to." She looked into Nayeon's eyes so that she wouldn't doubt her words.
"I just- I don't really know what to do here." She confessed as her cheeks grew brighter with a
deeper shade of pink.

"Neither do I." Nayeon bit her lip and tilted her head as she thought about it for a second. "But I
think that's the best part. I mean, we're in the same boat here. We can figure this out together."

It really must have rubbed off some confidence on Jeongyeon because she took Nayeon's face in
her hands and kissed her again. Steady and purposeful. But then in one swift movement Nayeon
switched their positions. She laid Jeongyeon down on the blankets and hovered over her. Not on
top but beside her, propped on her arm.

"So let me try something first and you tell me if it works for you. Is that okay?" Nayeon spoke
softly as she scanned her face. Brushed away a few strands of hair that fell over her eyes and gently
stroked her cheek when Jeongyeon nodded shyly, granting her consent. "Okay." Nayeon said more
to herself than to Jeongyeon. Then she tugged at the drawstrings of the Jeongyeon's sweatpants,
asking for permission once again. "Can I take this off?" Jeongyeon nodded one more time and
Nayeon proceeded to take it off.

"Can you take something off as well?" Jeongyeon coyly asked.

"Oh, right. Fair enough." Only then did Nayeon realize that she was still fully clothed. She was
acutely aware of her girlfriend's body. All that bare skin working like a magnet with Nayeon's
hands and radiating a kind of warmth that held the innate potential to drive her insane. But she
wasn't actually noticing anything about herself other than the unrelenting heat all those kisses
made her feel. "Here, we're even now." She said after taking off her own pants and shirt.

Well, not to brag but already bragging, she was definitely wearing some nicer underwear that night.
Which probably implied that she had in fact ulterior motives beyond the just talk excuse, but it
didn't matter. She'd care about it, maybe even feel a bit embarrassed if she didn't have her
girlfriend's eyes roaming over her body like that. Lust written all over her features so yeah, it was
totally worth it.

"Jeongyeon?" She prompted after a few seconds.

"Yes?" Jeongyeon shifted her gaze back to Nayeon's face and blushed hard as if she had been
caught doing something wrong. But she wasn't calling her out, not at all. She just couldn't wait any
longer to take her like she wanted to.

So Nayeon kissed her again and Jeongyeon didn't hesitate to kiss her back. Her fingers sliding
through Nayeon's hair and pulling her closer. Nayeon caressed Jeongyeon's breasts over the sports
bra she was still wearing at the same moment her thigh met her core. The outcome was her
girlfriend moaning indecently loud into Nayeon's mouth.

Fuck, alright, Nayeon knew Jeongyeon was sensible, but that was a whole another level. And that's
when Nayeon really became a lost cause because she felt like her only goal in life was to make sure
her girlfriend would keep on making those insanely hot sounds.

"Hold on." Jeongyeon stopped altogether. She was panting as put her hands on Nayeon's shoulders
to slightly push her away. "Sorry."

"No, no, don't apologize." Nayeon breathlessly answered. She feared Jeongyeon wasn't as
comfortable as she was about that decision. "We're only doing whatever you wanna do."

"I want to." Her tone was urgent, almost desperate. So was the way she thrust her hips up against
Nayeon's thigh. "I want it so bad. I'm just- um... I'm embarrassed?"

Nayeon noticed that the last part had come out much lower than the first one. She also realized that
the problem wasn't the doubt at all.

"It's alright, baby. It's just me." Nayeon held her chin up to assure her once again, but also because
Jeongyeon tried to look away and she really needed to see in her eyes the same certainty she felt in
her heart. "I want you. All of you." She went on watching Jeongyeon whine at her words, close her
eyes shut and thrust her hips once again. She felt the warmth coming from her core and couldn't
wait to fucking touch her. "So you don't have to hold back, okay?" She firmly prompted and
Jeongyeon didn't wait a beat before nodding sharply.

Nayeon pursued her lips again. Eagerly and excitedly. Kissed her deeply and for all that she's
worth. Bit her girlfriend's lower lip and pinched her breasts again. Harder and Jeongyeon broke the
kiss as her head fell back. She felt overwhelmed. Fucking horny, as a matter of fact. And rightly so,
she thought, since the hottest person she knew was on top of her right now.

"Nayeon-" She cried out not knowing exactly what for.

"I know, baby." Well, she didn't know but her girlfriend probably did. "Can I take this off too?"

"Yes, please, take it all off." Nayeon had meant only her sports bra but she wanted it all gone. She
didn't need any damn piece of fabric preventing Nayeon from actually touching her. So Nayeon
complied and soon enough all of her underwear was lying around with the rest of her clothes.

Then Nayeon's mouth traced its way to Jeongyeon's collarbone. Biting, kissing and sucking every
inch. With a hand she held Jeongyeon's waist firmly underneath her, keeping her from pushing her
hips up again. Lips trailed down to her neck, right over her pulse point where she sucked harder
until she left a mark. Yeah, because she wanted to look at it the next day and make sure it hadn't
been just a dream.

Jeongyeon would probably complain about it when she saw it in the morning, but at that moment
she was in no condition to complain about anything at all. Too busy turned into a moaning mess,
being louder and louder even though her girlfriend had barely touched her yet. It was addictive, to
be honest, Nayeon had never felt so proud and giddy in her entire life.

But then she touched her - skin against skin, truly touched her. She cupped one of her unclothed
breasts and pulled away just enough to appreciate her every move. She saw the way she bit her lips
and tried to hold back when Nayeon ran her thumb over her nipple. Also couldn't help but notice
the way she rubbed her legs together seeking any sort of friction.
"So beautiful." Nayeon whispered, unable to stop herself. She left a peck on her lips before
bringing her mouth to the breast she wasn't already working on and did what she had been meaning
to do for months now: basked in it. Savoured every single second. She took a nipple between her
lips and sucked on it eagerly. One inside her mouth and the other one dancing between her fingers.
But her whole mind was on Jeongyeon and only her. All of her.

Jeongyeon inhaled sharply and arched her back as she felt Nayeon's tongue swirling around her
nipple. Teeth teasing, tongue lapping at the tip and lips enveloping it, flicking up and down in the
most lascivious way. And believe it or not, resisting Nayeon's request Jeongyeon had tried to hold
back. She tried to keep it to herself and fight her unruly desires. She really, really did but there was
only so much she could take.

The evening weather was pretty cool and that's why she was wearing sweatpants earlier, but now
she was pretty sure it was at least a hundred degrees in the city. Either in the city or inside
Nayeon's mouth, but it didn't really matter because that was exactly where she wanted to be.

Panting, she caught a fistful of Nayeon's hair and fetched her up for another searing kiss. Perhaps
she was a little rougher than she meant to be and maybe she'd even have apologized if she had been
in her right mind. Or rather, if Nayeon hadn't loudly groaned along with her with that action.

"Fuck." She whimpered one more time, now against her girlfriend's lips.

Nayeon's fingers tracing their way down over Jeongyeon's stomach was enough to make her whine
and desperately buck her hips seeking the relief she so badly needed.

"Nayeon..." Jeongyeon moaned again. This time it was a request, almost a plea.

It wasn't like Nayeon was trying to hold her back, deny what she deserved or anything like that.
She was just so utterly lost in all Jeongyeon could offer that she got distracted by burying her head
in her breasts again.

"I know, I know." Nayeon surged up to whisper in her ear. She bit her earlobe and took note of the
way Jeongyeon's body trembled. "I'm going to touch you now, okay?"

Jeongyeon nodded energetically and then Nayeon touched her. She laid two experimental fingers in
and was rewarded with the best moan she had heard up to now. They easily slipped through her
folds, making her finally acknowledge how wet Jeongyeon really was. Nayeon closed her eyes and
tilted her head back. It took her a moment to come to terms with the fact that she actually did that.
She really did it. She could do that to Jeongyeon. And she would do it for the rest of her life if it
was up to her.

Jeongyeon gasped when it happened, felt Nayeon's fingers trace outside of her length. Saw stars
even with her eyes closed and opened her legs wider to provide a better access. But when Nayeon
took too long to react she bucked her hips up and whimpered further demanding the contact she
needed. Her eyes were tightly shut and she blindly reached out to grasp at her girlfriend's shoulder
just to make sure that she was still there. That it was still real.

The urgent touch of the girl beneath her prompted Nayeon to finally come back to her senses.
Seeking to fulfill her girlfriend's desires, Nayeon moved her hand and explored the full extent of
Jeongyeon's center. She ran her fingers across her entrance but hesitated over there. Although she
didn't have much experience, Nayeon knew that not all women were comfortable with penetration.
So she could ask her about it later, she decided, Nayeon didn't want to overwhelm Jeongyeon with
questions right now. Besides, it was still their first time, so it'd be wiser to stick to the safe option
for now.
So she found her clit and was promptly rewarded with more delicious moans. Nayeon traced
patterns and kept the pressure exactly as she liked to do with herself since that's the only real
expertise she had.

"How are we doing?" She whispered, trying her best not to let the concern be heard in her voice.

"S-so, fuck. So fucking good." Jeongyeon could barely comprehend everything that was going on,
but she still made an effort to reassure Nayeon. She was hardly breathing. Wait, was she
breathing?? She wasn't sure. She knew nothing but the sensations of her girlfriend's ministrations
on her body.

There was a hand between her legs and a mouth roaming all over her torso. Jeongyeon opened her
eyes and was faced with the lovely and familiar starry sky. But then she immediately thought that
something was probably wrong because if the stars were up there and that's supposed to be sky,
then why the hell did she feel like she was in heaven even though she was still down here? It
couldn't get any better than that, could it?

Yeah, it could and it did. That's the conclusion she came to not much later. When Nayeon's touches
became harder, faster and more consistent. With the potential and likely goal of sending Jeongyeon
into a total state of delirium.

Her legs were trembling and her back was arching. Her toes were also curling while sinful moans
were leaving her mouth. Nayeon kissed her diligently to swallow all those moans without
disturbing the perfect rhythm she had set. So it didn't take long for the whole thing to tip
Jeongyeon over the edge, launching her into a blissful state of oblivion where she forgot about
everything but the girl she loved.

Her heart skipped a few beats and her breathing grew even heavier while she enjoyed the rush of
pleasure that overcame all of her senses, bursting out of the depths of her center and spreading like
a wave through every inch of her body. Low curses and endless gasps inevitably left her lips as she
thought about how she had no idea that it was even possible to feel this good.

And Nayeon wanted to keep going. Wished she could touch her forever. She just wanted to keep
making her girlfriend feel good like that all the time.

There was something about seeing Jeongyeon like that... all wrecked and needy, with her legs wide
open just for her. Something that stirred up things that Nayeon didn't even know she had in her and
damn it, there were so many things she wanted to try. So many things she wanted to do with her.
To her.

But that's okay, she thought as she watched Jeongyeon come down from her high. They'd have all
the time in the world to try other things later.

Once again she plopped herself down over the pillows and once again she brought a hand up to
Jeongyeon's face to brush away the stray locks of hair. This time there was also a light layer of
sweat on her forehead and her breathing was still a little ragged.

"So..." Hovering over her, Nayeon asked as she saw her girlfriend smiling with her eyes still tightly
shut. "Did it work?"

Jeongyeon's smile grew even wider, her cheeks also blushed deeper and Nayeon couldn't help but
smile as well. It easily broke into a laugh and Jeongyeon quickly wrapped her arms around Nayeon
pulling her closer without so much as glancing her way. She held Nayeon against her bare chest as
she proceeded to stroke her hair.
"Hey, you're going to have to look at me sooner or later. You know that, don't you?" Nayeon
chuckled and Jeongyeon followed. What else could she say? She just knew her girlfriend all too
well.

"Not if I can help it." Jeongyeon playfully challenged. Her voice came out a little husky, but the
kiss she placed on Nayeon's temple didn't match her words.

Nayeon closed her eyes and relaxed feeling like she had reached a nirvana of some sort. She knew
they couldn't sleep there, not like that at least, there were employees coming in first thing in the
morning. But she wished she could and she totally would if it was up to her.

Right there, in Jeongyeon's arms, that's the best place in the world if you ask her, and it was
somehow even better now. After the night they had she would have the best sleep of her life
knowing that she had made Jeongyeon hers in every way.

"Can I ask you something?" Jeongyeon spoke up after a while.

"Anything." Nayeon drawled.

"Do you always wear fancy lingerie when you're planning on just asking me about something?"
Jeongyeon sounded amused. There was even a trace of accusation in her voice.

"Well, I surely didn't hear you complaining about it earlier." Nayeon fondly rolled her eyes but she
was unable to cloak her pride.

"I'm not complaining now either." Jeongyeon calmly answered. Her hand traced invisible lines
across the length of her girlfriend's back. "I just wanna know if I can take it off now."

Nayeon froze. Every trace of drowsiness was now gone.

"You can do whatever you want." She managed to whisper back and the next moment Jeongyeon
was already on top of her.

"I'll keep that in mind." The piercing look on Jeongyeon's face was all she needed to know that the
night she thought was ending had just begun.

"Nayeon? Wake up."

Wait, what? That's not what she said next. Nayeon frowned as she felt her shoulder being slightly
rocked.

"Hey, we're here." A voice said again. Where the fuck is here?

Yeah, that night was just getting started, but Nayeon's dream was being rudely interrupted by the
very person who happened to be in it.

"What??" The jacket she had pulled over her face had fallen into her lap. She looked around trying
to get her bearings, still feeling a little dizzy.

"We're here." She cooed and Nayeon slowly acknowledged her surroundings.

There were a few people walking down the aisle, but most of their teammates were already off the
bus. She rubbed her face to wipe away the traces of sleep off her eyes, and then she finally got the
sight of Jeongyeon waking her up.

She still had a hand placed over Nayeon's shoulder. Her familiar and kind lopsided smile displayed
 on her lips. Her lob hair was a bit disheveled due to the trip and wait... was that a hickey on her
neck? Uh, my bad, Nayeon thought.

Well, anyway, the younger Nayeon was right too. The stars really had nothing on her.

Chapter End Notes

listen i'm going down with my top!nayeon agenda!! (jk, i'm all about swich!najeong
but this chapter was getting too long so well, maybe next time if we get one?)

anyway, first times are hardly perfect as we usually read over here, there's often a lots
of anxiety and worries but as long as it's with someone you love blah blah blah i feel
old giving this speech. but i hope you enjoyed seeing a little more about 2yeon
background and samo too! gotta love protective sana, right?

and for those who are curious about whole jihyo drama all you gotta do is just wait till
the next chapter.
 the rest was history
Chapter Summary

Jeongyeon never meant to be friends with Nayeon. She just wanted to get the answers
she needed without dealing with the consequences, but ended up letting her own
confused feelings get in the middle of the whole thing.

But she wasn't actually taking advantage of her if she also had feelings for Nayeon,
was she? Great question, that's a frequent thought dwelling in the back of her mind.

Well, at least Momo said she wasn't, but maybe Jihyo had another opinion about that.
Or worse, maybe Nayeon would have a totally different take on it.

Chapter Notes

as we talked about, new title starting today plus jihyo's drama in this chapter :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Jeongyeon and Jihyo had been friends ever since elementary school.

Jeongyeon was only seven when six years old Jihyo skipped a grade due to academic acceleration
or whatever it was the grown-ups used to call it. The two of them got together in a rather
unconventional way. Almost compulsively, Jeongyeon liked to tease, but neither of them would
change anything about it.

Unsurprisingly, Jihyo had always been an outspoken child. She was too bright for her age and
sometimes it made her feel somewhat out of sorts. But unlike what her teachers believed, being
transferred to an upper class where everyone was older than her didn't help. At least not at first.

Jeongyeon, on the other hand, although not exactly a brainiac at that age, was empathetic enough to
help the other girl. Outgoing would never be a word used to describe the older one, but she was
well-connected since she always hung out with her friends from the soccer team.

However, if there was one thing little Jeongyeon hated as much as big Jeongyeon still does, that
thing would definitely be bullies. For a good part of her childhood her parents' presence was
constantly called upon at school because she was always caught up in quarrels that weren't even
hers to fight.

That's why at the beginning of that new school year her parents had a very serious talk with
Jeongyeon demanding her to stay out of trouble. If she kept getting into fights her parents would
pull her off the team. But dad- no, no buts. That's a warning, not a negotiation. Mr. and Mrs. Yoo
both understood that their daughter's intentions were the best, but they were also sick and tired of
worrying every time they had to pick up their kid from school with bruises, scratches and a
suspension note.
Therefore, Jeongyeon could understand where it was coming from. They only wanted what was
best for her. She didn't like it, but she got it. And she meant well to carry out the order she was
given - she really did, she promised.

Jeongyeon did her best to avoid any further involvement with those stupid kids. Whenever she saw
one of them starting any kind of trouble she'd call a teacher instead of trying to break up the fights.
She held herself back every day and fought the urge to confront them like she used to before.
Anything in order to keep playing the sport she loved.

And she did a pretty decent job at the first, it lasted longer than any of her parents thought it would.
Of course she didn't know this, but Jeongyeon's parents never meant to actually go on with that
empty promise. They may or may not have made a bet about it by the way, but that's a story for
another time.

One day over recess she saw some of those dumb kids picking at the same new girl again. They'd
pat her head, mess up her hair and make the same silly jokes. Jeongyeon had told a teacher a few
days before and the older woman promised she'd take care of it, but upon seeing that scene again
little Jeongyeon could only assume that she hadn't.

She listened to the boys cracking jokes about her height while the new girl patiently tried to
explain that she was shorter because she was younger, also saying that she'd eventually reach the
same height as her classmates when she was older. Needless to say that it never happened, but
that's besides the point.

Given that, Jeongyeon was torn between the urge to help and the dread of putting her soccer days
behind her. That's when a new idea popped into her mind. She decided to try a different approach
for the first time: Jeongyeon stepped in and told them they'd leave the new girl alone if they didn't
want to get in trouble with the principal.

"She's my mother, in case you don't know." It was obviously a lie but none of those kids seemed
smart enough to notice.

(Jeongyeon's parents were yet again called out at school before the end of that year for how many
times she had repeated that lie.

"But dad, you said not to pick a fight so I didn't. You didn't say anything about lying." Little
Jeongyeon argued.

Mr. and Mrs. Yoo couldn't bring themselves to punish her when their daughter's new best friend
told them the reason behind that lie.)

After that day, the younger girl couldn't help but notice that the other kids didn't mess with her
anymore, or at least not as much when she was anywhere near the tall kid from the soccer team
whom she was pretty sure was not the principal's daughter. But it didn't really matter, what
mattered was that with that in mind, she did her best to stay close by and tag along with the older
girl whenever she could.

Jeongyeon didn't appreciate her presence at first. She thought that kid was a bit of a nuisance, to be
honest. She wasn't aware that she'd be getting a shadow the moment she claimed to be the
principal's daughter, but this little girl was almost like a puppy that followed her around during
breaks and lingered on the sidelines during practice. Still, Jeongyeon couldn't bring herself to be
upset when she knew exactly why she was always around.

After a few weeks of this dynamic Jeongyeon got tired of just ignoring her presence altogether. She
traced it back to the way her second shadow always seemed to bring pretty delicious looking
snacks to their break, and not to the fact that she actually grew to like the new girl more every time
she'd every so often speak up in class.

"If you're going to stick around you could at least give me a bite of that sandwich. It smells pretty
great." Jeongyeon said, tapping the seat next to her and beckoning her to sit closer. It was one of
these very warm days where she chose to spend her break outside on the bleachers. She went to the
field alone, barring the new girl who obviously followed her and sat a few rows above. She looked
down at the sandwich in her lunchbox and split it in two without a moment's thought. "You're
Jihyo, right?"

"Yes, I am." She handed her a half.

"I'm Jeongyeon." The older one replied and handed over a juice box in exchange.

"I know." She nodded with wide curious eyes studying the carton in her hands.

That day wasn't the only occasion they spent recess together. The regular chats at break also
developed into pairing up during classroom exercises, which evolved into play dates at each other's
houses and later that year the two of them were sent off together to the same soccer camp after
much prodding with Jihyo's very uptight mom.

And well, the rest was history. They have been inseparable ever since.

Jihyo grew to be the person Jeongyeon trusted the most in the entire world, and that's who she still
was right up until this day. She had always been the one who was there for her in the toughest
times in her life, just as she had been there for Jihyo as well.

It ranged from major issues like when Jihyo came out to her conservatives and therefore not so
supportive parents when she was fourteen, or when Jeongyeon's grandmother passed away when
she was only eleven. But also and mostly for the good stuff as well, like when Jeongyeon broke the
promise of secrecy she had made to Nayeon to vent about her feelings toward the older girl to
Jihyo, or when they cried together over the phone when they found out they had been accepted to
the same college.

Her best friend and forever captain was also the only shoulder Jeongyeon had ever let herself cry
on after Nayeon left. She was her greatest confidant and also her safety net, so keeping such a big
secret from Jihyo hurt in a way that was almost physically painful.

But Jeongyeon had to hide her... thing with Nayeon at that moment, especially because she didn't
know what the hell they were doing. As hard as it was, it was still something she had to do. Still, it
didn't make her feel less guilty.

And it was lost in such guilt that Jeongyeon caught herself trapped that afternoon.

She was hanging out with Jihyo in her bedroom at the Beach House. Jeongyeon was lying on her
best friend's bed and carelessly leafing through one of her comic books while Jihyo was doing
some school work on her study table.

Since the game night at her place, Jeongyeon made it her personal mission to keep a closer eye on
Sana and Mina. Everything from the conversations they had in the classes the three of them shared
to the smiles and small touches they'd exchange during the group lunches. All of it, absolutely
everything. But she honestly couldn't see anything so obvious and remarkable as Nayeon
mentioned.
Of course they were quite affectionate towards each other, but that was normal among the whole
group, to be honest. Did Sana flirt with Mina all the fucking time? Hell yeah, she did. But it's Sana
we're talking about here, when it came to her it was as natural as breathing.

Mina was also always leaning pretty close to Sana and the midfielder would always slip an arm
around Mina's shoulders as they walked down the hall. But that's understandable because Mina
was pretty chill and quiet so she felt more comfortable hanging out with the people she was closest
to. And who would be closer than her own flatmate, right? That was all pretty normal. Nayeon was
just being delusional.

"Are Sana and Mina sleeping together?" Jeongyeon blurted out of nowhere.

"Yeah, why?" Jihyo answered flatly, didn't take her eyes off the laptop screen.

"For fuck's sake." Jeongyeon grumbled loudly and dropped the comic book on the bed before
sitting up. "Was I really the only one who didn't know?"

"What do you mean you didn't know?" Jihyo was skeptical.

"Well, it's not like anybody bothered to tell me anything!" Jeongyeon took offense in Jihyo's
astonishment, then she remembered her ex-girlfriend's words. "Am I really that dense?"

"Maybe you've finally learned how to mind your own business for a change." Jihyo prodded.
"Nayeon, on the other hand, keeps talking about these two. I was bound to bet some money with
her."

"You know she likes a good piece of gossip. She's as nosy as they can get."

"You both do, actually. I can't believe you didn't know."

"I know, me too! I'm with them pretty much all the time, I'm disappointed in myself, actually."
Jeongyeon pouted and fell flat back on the bed, sighing dramatically.

"How'd you find out?"

"Nayeon told me." Jeongyeon thoughtlessly replied.

"Oh." Jihyo finally stopped typing. There was a few seconds of silence before she spoke up again.
"Speaking of Nayeon..."

Jeongyeon froze. She and Jihyo hadn't talked about Nayeon again after that ruckus in the group
chat the day after they read the letter together. An unspoken agreement between them since neither
were willing to fight each other about it. But damn, so much has changed since then.

"What about her?" Her voice came out almost like a whisper. Jihyo spun her chair around to look
at her best friend who was now hugging one of her pillows.

"Nothing. I'm just glad you're getting along again."

"Uh, yeah." Jeongyeon nodded. "Me too."

"Did you guys ever talk about the stuff she said on the rooftop?"

Jeongyeon hesitated but answered. She wouldn't lie to Jihyo about that. "Not yet."

"Right." Jihyo looked a little disappointed, but didn't press the matter. "I was too tough on you the
other day, but I know you'll do the right thing. I also know how hard it must be for you and I really
appreciate the effort you're putting in to be friends with her again. I love you both very much and it
means a lot to me, just as I know it means a lot to the two of you as well." She poured it all out as if
she was just waiting for a cue to get it off her chest.

Jihyo really believed that Jeongyeon was making some kind of sacrifice when in fact she was just
running away from the truth and making it worse by making out with Nayeon every chance she
got.

Friends.

She really seemed glad and proud that her two best friends were getting along again, but was she
even aware of the extent of the lies they were both hiding so that it could be happening? Definitely
not, judging by the grin on her face.

"Yeah, we're making it work." Jeongyeon answered and Jihyo nodded before turning her chair
around and going back to her previous task.

Jeongyeon stared at her friend's back wondering if she should tell her the truth. If she should
unburden her heart and admit that she and Nayeon were only getting along because they were both
avoiding the inevitable mess they got themselves into.

"Jihyo?"

In a prospective near future, the truth about Jeongyeon's fake story would come out and Nayeon
would know that Jeongyeon lied about not remembering what happened on the rooftop. On that
day, Nayeon would also know that Jeongyeon was not only a double-faced liar but also a chancer,
because that's how she felt about knowing about Nayeon's feelings and yet not being willing to
face them the right way.

Jeongyeon never meant to be friends with Nayeon. She just wanted to get the answers she needed
without dealing with the consequences, but ended up letting her own confused feelings get in the
middle of the whole thing.

But she wasn't actually taking advantage of her if she also had feelings for Nayeon, was she? Great
question, that's a frequent thought dwelling in the back of her mind.

Well, at least Momo said she wasn't, but maybe Jihyo had another opinion about that. Or worse,
maybe Nayeon would have a totally different take on it.

Because even though Jeongyeon acknowledged her feelings now, it didn't mean that she liked
them, let alone that she was ready to do something about it. Especially since Jeongyeon also had
the feeling - or maybe the hope - that they would fade away once and for all when Nayeon reveals
whatever it was that she was still hiding.

Jeongyeon also figured that whatever it was would hurt her to a point where there would be no
turning back and that's probably why Nayeon's unwillingness was so persistent. Or maybe she just
didn't have any plausible explanation and was trying to buy herself some time? Yeah, that sounds
like something Nayeon would do.

"Yeah?"

In Jeongyeon's ever so present nightmares that have been haunting her since her ex-girlfriend left,
Nayeon's motives ranged from just realizing that she had fallen out of love for Jeongyeon back
then to even confessing that she had cheated on her and chose to break it off because she didn't
know how to tell her the truth.

The first picture hurt her deeply because it made her feel as if she had somehow failed Nayeon.
Couldn't keep her interested or didn't treat right. As for the second scene, Jeongyeon would rather
believe that it was nothing but a crazy thought. She couldn't accept it because she knew Nayeon
and Nayeon would never do that. Or at least she thought she knew her and truly trusted that she'd
never do such a thing. But since she walked away there was a voice in the back of her mind always
wondering if she really did know her ex-girlfriend as well as she thought.

In yet another version, Nayeon left because not only her mother didn't think Jeongyeon was good
enough for her, but Nayeon also believed her. Honestly, she couldn't decide which one she hated
the most.

But those were just stupid dreams. Stupid nightmares, actually. Something always made her feel
like the real reason would be worse. Much worse. And that's why she was feeling more and more
comfortable ignoring the issue and putting off "the talk" because she didn't want to lose the only
part of Nayeon she still had.

Moments like that were when Jeongyeon wondered if she should tell Jihyo everything straight
away. She obviously wouldn't approve and would most definitely encourage Jeongyeon to talk it
over and sort it out quickly, but at least she'd already be aware and ready to pick up the pieces of
Jeongyeon when she inevitably broke down again, just like last time. It always used to be so easy to
talk to Jihyo, why on earth did it have to be so fucking hard now?

"Never mind."

It was easier to keep omitting, so that's exactly what she did. She chose to keep hiding the truth and
felt like a goddamn coward because of it.

"You're the bravest person I know." Nayeon's words echoed in the back of her mind as if they were
taunting her.

Yeah, sure, if only she knew...

Jeongyeon thought to herself as guilt swallowed her whole.

...

As the regular season drew close to an end, the extra practice sessions also came to a halt. The
improvement in the team's performance was remarkable, and the fact that the finals were right
around the corner prompted Coach Bae to call it off for a while since she was never the kind of
coach who liked to overwork her players.

The athletes already had to balance between the team's activities and their own study schedules.
And despite the scholarship the college provided, some of them even had part time jobs as well, so
it was only fair to acknowledge their hard work.

Jeongyeon considered herself lucky. In a quick moment of poor judgment during her freshman year
she even tried to get one of those part time jobs so she could give up on her parents' allowance, but
she got to experience it first hand just how hard it was to balance her shifts with her academic
schedule and training, so at the end she chose to keep accepting her family's help for the sake of her
mental health. They were well off enough to afford it anyway, so she swallowed her pride and just
promised them she would pay them back once she got a good job even though they repeatedly told
her that she didn't have to. It was a losing battle anyway, they knew pretty well the stubborn young
woman they raised.

However, whereas most of them saw the layoff from the extra practice as a good thing, Jeongyeon
couldn't help but feel a little upset about losing that extra time she got to share with Nayeon. Not
only that extra hour on the field, but also all the time after that where she'd spend with her ex-
girlfriend in the locker room. They hardly had any time to themselves these days.

The last weeks in particular had been kinda crazy, they had two away games in a row so they spent
most of their weekends on the move. Studying on the bus wasn't so bad anymore since Jeongyeon
had learned how to control her reading sickness the year before, but the team was still extremely
loud, so the setting wasn't ideal.

Another thing that had been sticking around since the previous year was the fact that the apartment
Jeongyeon shared with Momo had become a meeting place for study sessions. That's because the
Beach House was always far too noisy and the library was always crowded during exams season.
Sana, Jihyo and Dahyun had free passes to hang out in their apartment even when none of the
actual residents were there, and currently that privilege had been extended to Nayeon, Mina,
Chaeyoung and Tzuyu as well.

[05:52 pm] Nayeon: I'm here

[05:52 pm] Nayeon: I mean, down here actually

[05:59 pm] Yoo(r) #1: sorry, i'm running late because i stayed back to ask some questions after
class

[05:59 pm] Yoo(r) #1: just left the classroom so i'll take a while but you can let yourself in

[05:59 pm] Nayeon: No, thanks. I'll wait here

[06:05 pm] Yoo(r) #1: why?

[06:05 pm] Yoo(r) #1: it's not a big deal, really. you know where the spare key is

[06:06 pm] Nayeon: I appreciate it but I'd rather wait. It's chilly out here anyways, I'm gonna enjoy
the good weather

[06:07 pm] Yoo(r) #1: nayeon, are you still afraid because of the supposed noise you heard on the
stairwell the other day?

[06:07 pm] Nayeon: Whaattt?? What are you talking about? Ofc not

[06:10 pm] Yoo(r) #1: you're unbelievable

[06:10 pm] Yoo(r) #1: i'll be home soon

Jeongyeon fondly rolled her eyes and picked up her pace to get home faster, she couldn't deny that
she was looking forward to seeing Nayeon. It would be the first time they would be having some
alone time in quite a while.

And yes, they were going there to study, they both needed to, but if they were lucky maybe they
could catch a movie before Nayeon headed back home. But she knew that her ex-girlfriend had a
test the next morning, so she couldn't afford to overstep and end up taking too much of her time.

Jeongyeon didn't find Nayeon outside her apartment building as she thought she would. Instead she
ran into her inside, leaning against a wall. Her eyes obviously found Nayeon first, so Jeongyeon
didn't notice the presence of the other two girls who were also there.

"I can't believe you rea-"

"Look who's here!" Nayeon nodded towards the other door.

Tzuyu was standing by the doorway which led to the first flights of stairs, her head tilted upward as
if she was trying to see something up there. Chaeyoung, further back, was holding a fire
extinguisher in her hands. Both looked a bit worried while Nayeon stood at a safe distance with her
arms tightly crossed against her crest.

"Oh, hello." Jeongyeon greeted the couple who replied with a soft "Hi, Jeongyeonie" at the same
time. Neither of them really looked at her.

"You got here way faster than I thought." Nayeon pushed herself off the wall and stepped closer to
Jeongyeon.

"You..." Jeongyeon glanced between Nayeon and the couple as she assessed the situation, quickly
putting the pieces together. "You're scaring the kids, aren't you?"

"Scaring? No, I don't think so." Nayeon replied matter of factly. "It just happens that they got here
a little after we talked and since they're also using this stairwell as much as I do, I thought I should
let them know about the danger we're all in."

"Nayeon, please tell me you didn't." Jeongyeon grunted in frustration but she tried to hide the fact
that she actually thought the whole situation was hilarious. "The noise probably came from a pipe
or something. You can't tell me you really believe this building is haunted!"

"Hold up, did you just say haunted?" Chaeyoung's voice quivered a little. "Nayeonie said it's
probably a raccoon or some shit."

"A raccoon? Seriously??" Jeongyeon crossed her arms and Nayeon shrugged.

"There's nothing here." Tzuyu asserted after she had apparently finished her inspection. She held
out her hand to her shorter girl who ditched the fire extinguisher in order to intertwine their fingers.
"Come on, Chaeng. We've got a lot of homework to do."

And there goes out the window the alone time Jeongyeon thought she'd get with Nayeon.

Although this wasn't the first time Jeongyeon had found herself frustrated this week, it's for a good
cause so she'd have to manage.

The last few days had been so exhausting with their schedule of practices, games, and academic
obligations that she and Nayeon barely had time to see each other outside of practices and group
lunches. But maybe it's a sign, Jeongyeon wondered. The universe providing the perfect
opportunity for her to kick and quit her Nayeon addiction.

But if that was indeed somebody's plan, Jeongyeon didn't take it as she was supposed to because
their daily good night messages had developed into constant updates about each other's daily lives.
They'd send texts back and forth all day long telling each other about little mundane details about
their schedule just to have something to talk about.

Sometimes Jeongyeon couldn't believe that this had been going on for months, but it was working
out pretty well so far so she certainly wasn't going to complain.
Nayeon and Jeongyeon followed the younger couple up the stairs while the other girls walked hand
in hand while whispering something to each other.

"I can't believe you were actually afraid of something so silly that you were willing to use the kids
as guinea pigs." Jeongyeon murmured in amusement.

"Excuse me, you said it yourself it was nothing. Silly, really, so the danger wasn't real."

"But if there was any danger-"

"There wasn't."

"But if there was..."

"Jeongyeon, shut up-"

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu chose that moment to suddenly turn around and scream a mocking
"boooo!!!" at the older girls. Jeongyeon was only a little surprised, annoyed actually, while Nayeon
was scared out of her wits. She all but jumped on top of Jeongyeon, her hands gripping around her
torso for her life.

"Are you fucking kidding me!???" She shrieked back, utterly distraught.

The younger duo had to sit on the steps to calm themselves down, clutching their sides as they
laughed their heads off. Jeongyeon made a mental note to call them out for doing something so
stupid in a place as dangerous as a stairwell later, but right now she was too busy trying to hold
back the laughter helself.

Nayeon's arms were wrapped around Jeongyeon and their bodies were closer than they had been in
several days. She put her hands on Nayeon's waist to steady her, but her ex-girlfriend grumply
pushed her away and repeatedly hit her arm when she noticed Jeongyeon was laughing as well.

"Jeongyeon?! You're laughing?? I could have fallen and taken you down with me!"

"But did you...?" Jeongyeon cheekily mocked.

"What's going on here?" Momo and Sana suddenly popped up at the bottom of the stairs. They had
backpacks on their shoulders, textbooks in hands and curious looks on their faces.

"Ugh, I hate you!" Nayeon sidestepped the kids and started to stomp her way up to express all of
her discontentment. "Hate you all!"

"Chaeng and Tzu scared Nayeon." Jeongyeon loosely explained and rushed to keep up with
Nayeon since she knew she was still a little scared.

"The real MVPs." Sana stepped between them and ruffled their hair, both still sitting on the steps.

"Is it the noise thing again?" Momo asked as she trailed behind them.

"Yeah, and today she tried to use the kids as guinea pigs so they fought back."

"I didn't use anyone as anything!" Nayeon came to a sudden halt and turned looking down at them.
"It's just that-" She didn't get to finish because Chaeyoung and Tzuyu ran past her screaming.

"Haha, very funny! What are you going to say now? That you're running away from a monster?"
"I mean, yeah. That's the plan." Chaeyoung halted and replied in dismay when her second plan
didn't work.

"Could you guys please stop running on the stairs? It's dangerous and you've already reached your
threshold of reckless behavior for today!" As if reading Jeongyeon's thoughts, Nayeon called them
out as they slowly started to make their way back up the stairs. Those five floors were starting to
feel like forever.

"I didn't know we had a... what's the word again? Tree hold?" Chaeyoung quietly asked, as if she
was thinking out loud.

"Will you ever stop treating us like children?" Tzuyu also quipped from up front.

"Grown-ups also fall off the stairs and crack their heads open. And by the way, I'm not in the mood
to have my building turned into an active crime scene and then actually being haunted by your poor
stubborn souls after that." Jeongyeon pointed out.

"But what if we really need to run from some kind of danger. Let's say, I don't know, a zombie, for
instance. If a zombie apocalypse were to happen right now and we needed to run away, we
wouldn't be allowed to? Just like that? Because of a stupid rule we didn't even know it existed up
until now?" Gosh, that's probably the most Chaeyoung thing Chaeyoung could ever say, but those
boderline creative slash stupid remarks she always cracked never failed to amuse.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Jeongyeon breathed out and shook her head. She heard Momo and Sana
quietly giggling behind her while Nayeon stared at Chaeyoung as if she was about to ask what she
had done in her past life to deserve this, so Jeongyeon took it upon herself to answer. "Look, if a
zombie apocalypse happens right now, I give you full permission to run up the stairs all you want.
Especially because I'm pretty sure a supposed fall would be the least of your problems if a meat
eating beast wanted to fucking bite you."

"Great! Thank you, Jeongyeonie." Chaeyoung cheerfully replied, finally pleased with the answer.
And then they were on the move again.

"I hope you know you look like an old couple scolding their kids right now." Sana pointed out
making Jeongyeon blush hard, but it didn't seem to affect Nayeon in the slightest.

"It's not our fault if they keep acting like such." The intern answered calmly and kept walking up
the stairs next to Jeongyeon.

"Just one more question." Tzuyu stopped once again at the top of the second-to-last flight of stairs,
prompting the entire group to stop for what felt like the umpteenth time. "If we actually were in a
zombie apocalypse, who do you think would survive longer? Me or Chaeyoung?"

The question was answered with a loud grunt shared between Nayeon and Jeongyeon, but Sana
flatly said "Chaeyoung" at the same time Momo answered "Tzuyu".

"Please elaborate." Tzuyu crossed her arms and waited as if they had all the time in the world.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon exchanged yet another frustrated glance, but before Momo and Sana could
begin to answer, the door to the fourth floor opened and Jihyo popped up right behind Tzuyu,
holding the door open behind her.

"What the hell?!" Jihyo was startled for no apparent reason. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We kinda live here, Cap." Momo pointed at herself and then at Jeongyeon.
"On the stairwell??"

"No, but that's the only way up." Jeongyeon crossed her arms. Something felt off and she was
trying to understand why her friend was acting so weird. "What are you doing here?"

"Me? Oh, well, I..."

"Are you here to study too or are you done already? We'll probably be pulling an all-nighter."
Chaeyoung grumbled, leaning against the wall as she was already feeling tired in advance.

"What?" Jihyo didn't seem to be listening. She was still holding the door half open and nervously
glancing back and forth between the girls in the stairwell and the hallway from which she had just
come out from. "Oh yeah, yeah, that's right, I was studying."

"You're panting. Were you also running from a ghost or something like that?" Tzuyu teased. Got
some giggles from Chaeyoung and a scowl from Nayeon.

"For the last time, there is no ghost nor monster nor any kind of haunting in here! And you, stop
encouraging her!" Jeongyeon cried out and smacked Chaeyoung's head right after.

"Why were you on the fourth floor if you were studying? The girls live upstairs." Sana was the one
who pointed out with a puzzled look on her face.

"Uh- actually, I was just going up to study right now. I walked into the wrong floor without even
noticing. How silly, right?!" Jihyo finally closed the door and proceeded to encourage the girls up
the stairs with gentle nudges. "Come on, let's go! The exams aren't going to ace themselves!"

"Great, so we can't run but we can push?"

"Chaeyoung, I swear to God-" Nayeon scolded as they started moving again, but a voice in the
distance drew their attention.

"Jihyo?"

"I think there's someone calling for you."

"No, there isn't. Let's get going. Up, up."

"But Jihyo-"

"You're hearing things."

"I'm pretty sure that-"

"What the hell are you waiting for? Let's go already!"

"Babe, why'd you close the door? I thought we were going to-" The door behind them opened and
the voice now had a face. A face familiar to half of them, but the other half only recognized the
volleyball jersey that hugged the other girl's body. "Oh."

"Babe...?" Sana spoke up first after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Jeongyeon, you promised there were no hauntings of any sorts in this place." Nayeon crossed her
arms and used her best outraged tone. "So could you please explain to me why this stranger from
the volleyball team is in your building calling our Jihyo babe?"
"Babe???" Sana echoed as if she still couldn't believe her ears.

"She's not a stranger." Momo clarified. "That's Sejeong."

"Sejeong as in the girl who Jihyo used to date before Jennie took over the team?" Nayeon turned to
Jeongyeon, remembering the story she had told her when they were trapped in the volleyball team's
pantry.

"Yeah." Jeongyeon nodded before musing out loud. "And she lives here too... on- on the fourth
floor."

"Oh." The sound came out from Nayeon's mouth, but pretty much all of them shared the same
sense of realization.

Suddenly everything clicked.

Not long ago Momo said she saw Jihyo leaving their building, but when she asked Jeongyeon why
she wasn't invited for the hangout, the goalkeeper didn't know what she was talking about. It
happened a few other times and Jeongyeon also happened to see the captain around the block more
often, but she never thought too much about it. Never got to ask her about that either. Besides, her
best friend was acting rather suspiciously when it came to the volleyball team lately, not to mention
that Jihyo was mysteriously disappearing more often than not in the past few weeks. Well, now
they know why.

Jihyo and Sejeong exchanged a meaningful look while the rest of the girls still seemed to be
absorbing everything. Jihyo nodded to something and Sejeong whispered a soft "call me later"
before formally saying goodbye to the rest of them and heading right back to the same hallway
from which she had emerged just a few seconds ago.

"...babe?"

"Yes, Sana, you heard it right." Jihyo replied rather impatiently.

"Can we just get out of this damn stairwell already? I think I've had enough traumatic experiences
here for a lifetime!" Nayeon grumbled and made her way through the people standing in front of
her to head toward the apartment upstairs.

Jihyo hastily followed her and Jeongyeon quietly accompanied them as well as the other girls
trailed along whispering with their respective pairs behind them.

"I can explain." Jihyo said as soon as Momo closed the door. All of them inside and their captain
standing in the middle of the living room.

"Explain what? That you're mingling with the enemy? I think we already got that all figured out."
Sana started her rant as she paced back and forth behind the couch.

"It's not like that-"

"I mean, I totally sympathize with you getting to screw them, Cap. They're hot, I get it. I've been
there myself for fucks sake! And look how that turned out for me?? Well, I guess we can all
acknowledge the fact that the whole rivalry thing does add a little bit of spice to it and all but after
Jennie I thought we agreed I'd be better not to mix things up anymore."

"Sana-" Nayeon tried.

"They're trouble, Ji, you know that better than anyone! So to get that close and... fuck, letting one
of them them call you babe and stuff like that is just too much. It lacks a little emotional
responsibility, you know? They might think it's something way more serious than it actually is."

"Sana..." Momo also tried to cut in, but her best friend wouldn't stop talking.

"Unless," Good, there it is. "Unless you are serious about her and..." Sana grimaced and sighed
heavily. Finally got a grasp of what was really going on. "Do you- do you like her?"

She didn't need a verbal response when Jihyo flopped down onto the couch and hid her face
between her hands.

"Damn it, Jihyo! Of all people-"

"Sana." Jeongyeon's call was sharper than the others. Harsher, and finally got Sana's attention. "I'll
take it from here now, thank you." Jeongyeon sat down next to Jihyo and rubbed circles on her
back before speaking softly. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Jihyo stood up and made her way to Jeongyeon's bedroom without uttering a single word.

"Okay then. I'll be back soon, make yourselves at home." Jeongyeon gently said more to
Chaeyoung and Tzuyu, who were somewhat tense as they linger to their every word, than to Momo
and Sana, who were now quietly arguing in a corner.

"Yeah, yeah. We'll be back soon, make yourselves at home." Nayeon reiterated as if she was in her
own house. Without a second thought she reached for Jeongyeon's hand and intertwined their
fingers before she pulled Jeongyeon to follow Jihyo down the hall.

"Well, you see, kids. Now your moms are going to have a very serious talk with your sister. So if I
were you I'd start studying right away so you won't be the next one to get scolded when they come
back."

Jeongyeon did hear Momo's snide remark, but she chose to ignore it in order to focus on her
priority. Jihyo was lying like a starfish in the middle of her bed. A pillow was covering her face
and she sighed when she heard the door being shut.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon looked at each other trying to decide what their approach would be. They
tried to communicate between frowns and hand gestures, but couldn't reach a common ground.

"Can one of you please say something?" Jihyo muttered under the pillow and Nayeon cast one last
exasperated glance at Jeongyeon who just shrugged in response.

"Right. Of course." Nayeon started after clearing her throat. "So, you have a girlfriend..."

"Seriously?? That's the best you've got?" Jeongyeon couldn't keep it to herself.

"Why didn't you say something then?"

"You clearly wanted to be the one to kick it off!"

"Guys..." Jihyo drawled as if she needed to remind them that she was still there.

"Sorry." They answered in unison. Nayeon took a seat on one side of the bed while Jeongyeon
settled down on the other.

"Can I...?" Nayeon whispered as she pointed to one of the spaces next to Jihyo, asking for
permission to lie down. Which didn't make sense to Jeongyeon since she had been there multiple
times before, but maybe it was because Jihyo was here now.

"Yeah, sure." Jeongyeon murmured and also lay down on the other side, but not before taking the
pillow off her best friend's face and throwing it across the room just for shits and giggles.

Then all three of them were cuddling and staring at the ceiling like that one time many years ago
when they were in ninth grade and Jihyo was telling them about her first kiss during a slumber
party at Nayeon's place. That's the first memory that came to Jeongyeon's mind of the many similar
and familiar moments she could remember.

"So..." Nayeon started again but Jihyo cut her off.

"Yes, I do have a girlfriend. Thanks for noticing."

"That's not what I was going to say! I meant to ask if you really like her."

"Oh." Jihyo pondered and confessed. "Yeah. I really do."

"Then what's the matter?" Nayeon snuggled closer to Jihyo, hugging her side and resting her head
on her shoulder. "Besides the obvious, of course. Volleyball team, really? I think you can do
better."

"Nayeon." Jeongyeon berated.

"She knows I'm just kidding... ish."

"No more jokes until we leave this room, please."

"Shit, fine." Nayeon huffed.

"Jihyo?" Jeongyeon coaxed.

"The problem is exactly the obvious." She said softly. "It's worse for her than it is for me, but it's
also bad for me because- well, you know." Jihyo's words died in the back of her throat and
Jeongyeon realized just how nervous she really was.

"You can talk to us, Ji. We won't judge." Jeongyeon reached for one of her hands and squeezed it
gently.

"After that... the scene at Umji's farewell party- ah, sorry, Jeong, I don't know how much Nayeon
knows about it. I don't wanna say anything you don't wanna share."

"She knows." Jeongyeon sheepishly admitted. "I told her about you and Sojeong as well."

"How about we stop talking about me like I'm not here?"

"Oh, yeah, it makes more sense." Jihyo ignored Nayeon. "I should've known since she knew who
Sejeong was even though she wasn't here when we first started dating." The captain added as if it
had only now dawned on her.

"Yeah, she knows all about it." Jeongyeon went on and felt Jihyo nodding against her arm. "About
the party, the fight, the reason behind it, everything."

Jeongyeon was acutely aware that Jihyo could tell that the simple fact that she had told Nayeon the
whole story meant way more than could be discussed at that moment, but the topic right now was
Sejeong and Jihyo, not Nayeon and Jeongyeon.

"Anyway, yeah, the party. You smacked the fuck out of Jennie and made yourself Yonsei's role
model. And most importantly, my personal hero. But then what? Keep going." Nayeon prompted
the outcome of Jihyo's personal drama.

"The whole thing was so fucking messy back then that we thought it was best if we end it. It was
too much trouble for a relationship that had just started and I think neither of us were aware of the
extent of our feelings yet. So I tried to stay away, I swear I did. We both did actually, but it was
hopeless. We take the same classes so I'd see her every day and when I wasn't trying to steal
glances at her, I was thinking about her." Her voice was so atypically small and quiet that
Jeongyeon couldn't help but feel bad. "It didn't take long until we got back together. I soon realized
that I liked her way too much and for some reason she also liked me enough to..." She gloomily
sighed. "To take her chances with Jennie."

Oh, there it was. The real deal.

Sejeong's captain had said in no uncertain terms what she'd do if anybody from her team associated
with someone from the soccer team. And as dumb as it sounded, everyone knew Jennie wasn't
kidding.

"But why'd you keep this from me?" Jihyo didn't trust her anymore? Jeongyeon tried to hide the
discomfort that an unwanted thought brought. "From us, I mean. If the problem was with Jennie."

"I-" Jihyo bit her lower lip growing even more uneasy. Nayeon probably sensed the pain behind
Jeongyeon's words because she moved a little to reach out and hold the goalkeeper's hand as well.
"I didn't know how you would feel about it."

"How would I feel?" She frowned, testing the words. It didn't make sense. "You know I'd never
judge you."

"Exactly, because you are you. Even if it made you uncomfortable or if you didn't like it, you'd still
stand by me and say it was okay."

"Uncomfortable? What? Why wouldn't I like it? That's not my choice to make. As long as she
makes you happy-"

"Because like it or not she's on the volleyball team, Jeongyeon! She has friends there. She has a
direct relationship with Jennie, the person who has gone out of her way multiple times to make our
lives a living hell for over a year now and has been especially harder on you!"

"Oh."

Yeah, alright, Jeongyeon obviously didn't like Jennie, but if she was being honest she didn't even
know the names of all the girls on the volleyball team. She'd barely recognize them outside of
those uniforms. Of course she held a special hatred towards the captain and three or four girls who
followed Jennie around like puppies, but other than that she didn't care much about the rest of
them.

She remembered Jennie's pre-reign era when the two teams weren't so hostile towards each other.
That's when Sejeong and Jihyo started hanging out and Jeongyeon liked her best friend's girlfriend
well enough. She even went as far as going to the parties Sejeong invited them to.

Deep down Jeongyeon was able to understand the reason behind Jihyo's distress. Perhaps she
never made it clear enough that her problem was targeted, and not general.
"Ji, it's okay. I get why you're worried, but I know you well enough to tell that you wouldn't like
this girl if she was anything like Jennie." Nayeon took it upon herself to reassure their friend and
Jeongyeon was grateful for her ex-girlfriend being able to say what she was trying to convey.
Jeongyeon didn't know how to put it into words yet but she didn't want Jihyo to misunderstand her
silence.

"She's definitely not. She's amazing." Jihyo dreamly blurted out. Her eyes sparkling with each
word. "She tries to stay out of Jennie's drama, no wonder why she doesn't live in that house with
the rest of them. She shares an apartment downstairs with her roommate, Hana, who's also on the
team. And she's so cute and smart and Gosh, I could go on for days."

And she did. Not for days, of course, but for quite some time. Nayeon and Jeongyeon listened to
Jihyo gush about her girlfriend for a solid half an hour before the captain put an end to the chatter
since they actually needed to get some studying done.

But before heading back to the living room Jeongyeon was keen to clarify how supportive she was.
And not because she was her, like Jihyo said before and whatever that meant, but because she
trusted her best friend and she also knew that Sejeong and Jennie were not the same person. She
also added that if Jihyo really liked this girl, she was sure both her and Nayeon would like her too.
Even suggested that they should make plans to properly meet her soon.

"Speak for yourself, please." Nayeon butted in. "I'll only know whether I like her or not after I have
a little chit-chat with her to find out what her intentions are with the little one." She pointed out
when they were about to reach the door, but Jihyo was way too happy to care.

"Fuck, it was torture not being able to talk about it with you guys. I'm so happy right now, it feels
like old times again!" She crushed the two older girls into a tight hug, not minding to keep the huge
grin off her face as she pulled away.

Jeongyeon's heart grew warmer at those words because yes, she was right. It really did feel like the
old times. It was like a home away from home.

The other girls seemed to be focused on their on taks when the three of them walked back into the
living room. Textbooks, laptops, notebooks, and most importantly, bags of cookies and chips
tossed everywhere. But as soon as Momo saw Jihyo coming out from the hallway she nudged Sana
to draw her best friend's attention away from whatever textbook she was reading.

"Sana has something to say." Momo briefed after casting a pointed glance at her. Sana stood up
and took a couple steps forward with her hands tucked inside her pockets, being shadowed by
Momo.

"I'm sorry I was a jerk. I was a little... taken aback, I guess. But it still wasn't appropriate for me to
react like that."

"And..." Momo prompted with a mild elbow to the ribs.

"And," Sana sighed, dramatically rubbing her ribs. "You can date whoever you want, it's none of
our business."

"Thank you." Jihyo nodded, casting a grateful glance mainly at Momo, rather than at Sana. "But
you're my friends and I'd like to share that part of my life with you, if that's okay."

Of course that's okay, they were way too nosey for their own good. So Jihyo retold a less detailed
and shorter version of the story to the other girls, taking special care in updating Chaeyoung and
Tzuyu on the important parts about the previous year when they weren't there to witness just like
Nayeon, but the elder had already gotten earlier insight from Jeongyeon.

She went on about how she and Sejeong had been sneaking around for months, but hiding it from
both groups was getting increasingly hard and exhausting. So all in all that little accident was
actually a good thing, if they think about it.

Meanwhile, Nayeon and Jeongyeon sought a place to study. They settled down together on the bar
stools in the kitchen and laid their textbooks over the counter as they listened and occasionally
made some inputs from their new worktop.

"And that's why we gotta keep it a secret for now. I mean, Jennie's leaving at the end of the year
anyway, so there's no point in picking this fight with her again. Sejeong and I will be fine as long as
you guys have our backs."

"We do." Sana said and Momo nodded reassuringly.

"A secret relationship? Uh, that's so cool! I feel like I'm part of a club or something." Chaeyoung
chirped excitedly.

"But what about Dahyun?" Of course that's the first thing Momo thought when she heard that she
had to keep a secret. So fucking whipped.

"Yeah, as long as she promises to keep it a secret. I trust her too." Jihyo soothed her hopelessly in
love friend.

"Uh, right." Sana leaned closer to Jihyo and asked a little above a whisper. "What about Mina?"

"Mina??" Jihyo retorted loudly, perkily exposing Sana. Nayeon elbowed Jeongyeon and
suggestively waggled her eyebrows at Sana's remark.

"Isn't it funny how Momo's first thought was Dahyun, her girlfriend, while Sana's was Mina?"
Nayeon quietly whispered to Jeongyeon as if she was trying to prove a point, but she only got a
fond eye roll in response.

"Yes, Mina." Sana sighed, relenting. "Can I tell her?"

"She already knows." Jihyo disclosed and both Nayeon and Jeongyeon felt equally betrayed.

"She does??"

"Why'd tell her and leave us in the dark?"

"Because I really needed to talk to someone about it and she's not on the team, so I didn't think
she'd judge me for getting myself involved with someone from... well, you know." Jihyo confessed
and blushed, feeling a bit embarrassed. "And you were right, Jeongyeon. She's a great listener."

"Yeah, I know." Jeongyeon couldn't argue against that since she had a first hand experience on how
soothing Mina's aura was, but she could still scowl, so she did.

"I can't believe it!" Nayeon grumbled under her breath. Whining just loud enough for Jeongyeon to
hear as she crossed her arms and pouted like the big baby she was. "Now it's all Mina. Mina this,
Mina that, always fucking Mina."

Nayeon looked so cute all sulky like that that Jeongyeon first instinct was to lean in to place a kiss
on her pouted lips, but she halted mid-way through it and blushed fiercely as soon as she realized
what was happening. She embarrassedly glanced around the room to see if someone had caught her
in the act but none of them were paying attention to her anymore, not even Nayeon seemed to
notice. Thankfully they were all fully focused on Jihyo's story.

For a moment Jeongyeon even thought that she should be at least as upset as Nayeon, but this
recent almost-incident reminded her that she had been keeping way too many things from Jihyo.
She couldn't be a hypocrite and complain about her best friend keeping one single thing from her
while she herself was sweeping all her problems under the rug.

"I wouldn't judge, you know." Sana spoke softly and all heads turned to her. Disbelieving and
exasperated glances were hurled her way as well as the cushion Jihyo tried to chuck at her face.
"Hey, I didn't judge! I may have bitched a little bit at first because I was surprised, like I said, but
that's all. I'd never judge someone for pursuing a forbidden hottie. It's pretty much an enemies to
lovers! A modern day Romeo and Juliet, I'd say! Minus the death part, of course. I mean, I hope."

"That's the second time you've called my girlfriend hot tonight. I'd really appreciate it if you'd quit
that. Like right now."

"Ha! Good luck with that!" Momo barked out a laugh since she had been a regular victim herself.

"Hold on. You're not planning on being all over Sejeong like you are with Dahyun, are you??"

"Well, duh? Someone has to keep you on your toes and make sure you know that if you don't treat
your girls right, I will."

"Then how come you never hit on Chaeng or Tzuyu?" Nayeon asked.

"First off, they're children!" Sana made a show of looking as outraged as she could.

"We're not-"

"Second!" She raised her voice over Tzuyu's. "They take very good care of each other, for your
information."

"Well, thanks, I guess." She added a bit hazily, but a peck from Chaeyoung was enough to make
her forget about it.

"Are you implying that I don't take good care of my girlfriend?" Momo was already frowning.

"I'm merely asserting the fact that I could do better." Sana flatly answered.

That discussion obviously didn't end there, Momo and Sana argued about it for a long time and
even physically onslaught each other at some point. Eventually Jihyo excused herself and rushed
back to Jeongyeon's bedroom to call Sejeong and let her know that everything was fine.
Chaeyoung and Tzuyu even tried to concentrate, but they couldn't stop laughing at the japanese
girls' antics.

"So much for studying." Jeongyeon turned to the side and found Nayeon watching her with chin
propped up on her hands. "Did you actually manage to get study done here last year?"

"Yah, but there were only five of us, so it was pretty much quieter."

"But those two were still here!" Nayeon pointed at Momo and Sana who were still arguing, laying
around on the living room carpet. She then held a hand to her chest and gasped dramatically,
 feigning offense. "Are you implying that this is somehow all my fault?"

Well, that depends on what Nayeon's talking about.

Did she mean the fact that even though that apartment was crowded and noisy it still felt more like
home now than it ever did before?

Or perhaps the way Jeongyeon was feeling a lot happier than she had been in a really long time?

Maybe it was about how the recent changes and additions to the group dynamic felt so right and so
nice?

But it could also be the underlying fact that even with all the responsibilities and duties on their
shoulders, all of them still managed to feel at ease and content to be both confident and grateful
that they were doing so well that season?

Or was it about that good feeling that had been warming Jeongyeon's heart and how she couldn't
even remember when was the last time she had felt out of place among her friends?

It might also be about how Jeongyeon was finally feeling like she belonged somewhere again.

To life, to the team, to her friends, and to her as well.

Jeongyeon was well aware that Nayeon was definitely not talking about any of this, but she also
knew in her heart that there was only one answer to all those questions.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. It's all your fault." She tried to keep her expression as blank as
she could, but the silly grin that made its way to her face betrayed her way too soon.

Nayeon snorted back and playfully nudged Jeongyeon. Shook her head before picking up a pencil
and turning around to try and focus on the textbook in front of her.

Oh, yes, right. They were here to study. Jeongyeon finally snapped out of it and turned back
forward.

Nayeon had the uncanny power to make her forget about a lot, but there was one particular thing
she always made sure to keep in mind, even if subconsciously.

Life was much better with Im Nayeon around, she smiled to herself. At least that much she was
sure.

Chapter End Notes

i don't know how to say this but next chapter we'll see the beginning of our downfall.
to both 2yeon and misana so brace yourselves.
but hey, at least we got happy jihyo, right? that must count for something
 i think i'm in love with her
Chapter Summary

They had been dancing around each other for months now. At least in public, anyway.
They drew boundaries around their friends in an unspoken agreement and acted like
the civil ex-girlfriend they were. But when they were alone they always made the most
of it, losing themselves in tenderness and kisses and touches which they only had for
each other.

Chapter Notes

off we go

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Finishing the last test didn't bring Jeongyeon the gratification she thought it would. She had been
studying her ass off for the past couple of weeks so she was confident that she'd be passing with
flying colors, but all the built up stress from the past days finally caught up to her as soon as she
placed the last exam down on the professor's desk.

She had barely slept a couple of hours the night before and she couldn't miss practice this morning
just because she was tired, so all she wanted to do now was to fall into bed and sleep for twelve
hours straight. Maybe watch a movie or play some games afterwards. But then she finally had time
to notice that she was actually starving, so she figured that maybe she and Nayeon could order
something since she was way too worn out to cook.

And just like that, making plans for the both of them without even realizing it, Jeongyeon found
herself right in front of her ex-girlfriend's apartment building after another long and hard day. They
hadn't made any plans to meet that afternoon, but they made a habit of texting before they'd drop by
each other's places. Today, however, she was so lost in her own head that she didn't even consider
giving Nayeon a heads-up. Before Jeongyeon could even realize it, her feet led the way and there
she was, standing inside the elevator.

The automatic doors opened on the tenth floor to reveal Nayeon waiting on the other side,
inattentive and idly searching for something inside the purse slung over her shoulder. She was way
more dressed up than usual, looking like she was ready to go somewhere. It was only then that
Jeongyeon realized that she hadn't told her she was on her way. Nayeon probably had other plans,
she couldn't just show up like this, unannounced and whenever she felt like it.

"Oh, hi?" A taken aback Nayeon greeted her when the elevator bell caught her attention. She raised
her confused gaze to find her ex-girlfriend inside, staring back at her.

"Hi." Jeongyeon replied, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "Um, sorry for popping up unannounced.
I just… I wanted to- or, or I thought-" She stammered, trying to rack her brain to come up with a
good excuse, but no plausible reasons came to her mind. "You're busy right now, aren't you? Okay,
sorry, I should've- I mean, nevermind, I'll talk to you later." Jeongyeon pressed the first floor
button over and over again as if that was going to make her disappear just like she wanted.

"No, wait! Hold on." Nayeon stepped forward standing between the elevator doors and keeping
them from closing. "I'm not busy, I was just going to… the convenience store."

"The convenience store?" She was way too groomed to just go to the fucking convenience store.

"Yeah, but it can wait. What's up?"

What's up? Jeongyeon repeated the question to herself.

Nothing was up, she just needed some Nayeon time.

Some cuddling, maybe, to boost her mood a little. And her go-to cuddle partner for the past months
had been her ex-girlfriend.

Yes, sure. Perfectly healthy.

"I just... well, I thought we could hang out? I know I probably should've texted you first but..." She
trailed off as she shyly admitted, but Jeongyeon didn't let the I missed you slip out. Nayeon tilted
her head as she studied Jeongyeon for a few seconds and the goalkeeper felt her cheeks warming
up even more being the target of that gaze.

"Let's go inside." Nayeon held out her hand to Jeongyeon and added with a knowing smirk. "You're
holding up the elevator, if you keep this up I bet I'll be getting complaints because of you."

"Technically you're the one who's holding the elevator." She signaled the spot Nayeon was
standing right in between the doors. She got a cocked eyebrow in return, Nayeon also started to
pull her hand back to cross her arms but Jeongyeon promptly reached out and laced their fingers
together. "Okay, okay. Just kidding."

"How's your last test?" They made their way to the apartment side by side, holding hands. Just the
feeling of Nayeon's skin against hers was already making Jeongyeon feel better.

"A living hell, just as I thought. The silver lining was that I was prepared."

"Well, you did text me goodnight like two in the morning. I figured you were studying."

"I studied until way past that."

"So you must be tired."

"That I am. But what about you? You didn't drop by at lunch. Have you taken your last test yet?"

"Oh, I wish. I still have one more on Friday, then I'll be free." She gave it a second thought and
wrinkled her nose in the cutest way possible. "Well, I've got a couple of papers to submit next
week but still."

"Do you need help studying?" Jeongyeon asked politely. Deep down she hoped Nayeon would say
no, but she knew she wouldn't have it in herself not to help if the answer was positive.

"Maybe another day." Nayeon opened the door and Jeongyeon walked in first, tossed her sneakers
aside and headed straight to the couch while the hostess was still taking her off her heels by the
door. "I've made the executive decision that I'm not going to touch another textbook today. I'm
pretty sure the test I took this morning fried my brain."
"Oh, thank God." Jeongyeon muttered, flopped down on the couch and let her head fall back. "I
mean, not about your brain, but about the not studying part. My head is killing me." Nayeon
chuckled.

"I think it's pretty amazing how you never get headaches before exams, it's always after. That must
be a talent."

"That's because I'm an expert at putting off my problems." She answered absentmindedly as she
closed her eyes. Flinched when she realized the implications of that statement, feeling a weird
shiver run through her spine.

"Come here." Nayeon's voice suddenly sounded closer and Jeongyeon couldn't keep her eyes
closed. She found her ex-girlfriend walking in front of her, her eyes following as she sat down on
the other end of the couch and beckoned her closer. Jeonyeon didn't need so much as another word
before she shifted to lay down and rest her head on Nayeon's lap.

Jeongyeon immediately relaxed and melted under Nayeon's touch. She ran her hands through her
hair and lightly rubbed her temples, stroking soft comfort and making all the previous stress
Jeongyeon felt gradually fade away. She closed her eyes again and enjoyed it as she listened to
Nayeon talking about her week of tests, studies and everything else she was learning with Coach
Bae, eventually humming along to let her know that she was still there. It was so good, so warm
and so fucking comfortable that she caught herself wondering if she could just live in that moment
forever.

That's exactly how Jeongyeon had been feeling every moment she got to spend time with Nayeon
lately. Sometimes she still couldn't believe that it had been going on for so long without anyone
knowing - barring Momo, of course - but the truth was that she couldn't care less. Not when
Nayeon was always around and willing to kiss her senseless and cuddle and talk and spend their
free time like this.

They had been dancing around each other for months now. At least in public, anyway. They drew
boundaries around their friends in an unspoken agreement and acted like the civil ex-girlfriend they
were. But when they were alone they always made the most of it, losing themselves in tenderness
and kisses and touches which they only had for each other.

Obviously when they were in public it was different, though. The team parties and movie nights
among their closest friends were always the most difficult events. It was pretty tough not being
able to press Nayeon against a wall and kiss her soundly when she looked so breathtaking in those
party dresses; and it was even harder not to pull her close and snuggle into her neck when they
were in a dark room in front of a TV with most of their friends around.

They'd been living and reveling in stolen moments and secret meetings. Coming up with secret
ways to communicate with each other when they're around other people, and making up excuses
when they want to be alone without drawing unwanted attention that could eventually raise some
suspicion.

Always acting as if they hadn't been fooling around in empty classrooms before they headed to
lunch together or as if they weren't making out inside the locker room after virtually every practice;
as if they weren't spending late nights curled up on Nayeon's couch watching movies and TV
shows between stolen and lazy kisses; or as if their rooftop hadn't witnessed its fair share of
wandering hands and hushed breaths between heated kisses.

Well, little did they know that everything was about to come crumbling down.
Lying there, enjoying the bliss, Jeongyeon fell asleep without even noticing. She didn't realize she
had dozed off until she woke up feeling much better even though the effects of the unexpected nap
were still affecting her senses. The apartment was darker now so she was aware that night had
fallen. The TV was on but no sound was coming out of it. The living room was completely silent
and instead of Nayeon's thighs there was now a cushion placed under her head.

Jeongyeon sat up trying to shake off her slumber and glanced around the room but Nayeon was
nowhere in sight. She noticed that the front door was slightly ajar, though. That's weird, she
thought. She got up still rubbing the sleep off her eyes and headed to close the door, but once she
drew close enough the voices she heard on the other side got her full attention.

"I'm not having this conversation with you now. Not again." The first voice belonged to Nayeon
and she was trying to keep her tone quiet, but the person speaking to her didn't seem to have the
same concern.

"You've been avoiding me for weeks. When do you expect us to have this conversation, then?" A
woman's voice spoke back.

"I don't know, but definitely not now."

"Nayeon, you're just wasting your time! And your father's money as well! You're not going to be
young forever, I thought after everything that happened you finally would want to do something
meaningful with your life-"

"Look, we can talk about it again some other time, but my answer won't change! I'm sick and tired
of this whole mother knows best act, so can you please leave now? My place's off limits, we've
talked about it."

"Your place- hold on, who do you think you're talking to?? Your father really spoiled you too
much, I don't-"

Jeongyeon's blood boiled in her veins and raging fire rushed through her limbs with each word
passing she overheard. By the time she realized the other person's sentence was cut short as she
reached her limit and unwittingly pulled the door open.

Two heads turned toward her. Nayeon was accompanied by an older woman who was standing a
little further down the hall. Jeongyeon had never actually seen her before, not even by photos since
that person was never a part of Nayeon's life that she liked to share. But still, just the physical
resemblance between the two of them was enough to let Jeongyeon know exactly who she was.

"Nayeon," She stepped out of the apartment. "Is everything okay out here?"

"Yeah, yes, everything is fine. Please wait for me inside, I'll be right in." Nayeon's tone was high
pitched and urgent, almost distressed. But Jeongyeon didn't see the uneasy frown on her face
because her eyes were fixed on the older woman in front of her.

"Oh, so that's why you didn't show up?" Nayeon's mother gave Jeongyeon a sluggish once over.
Then she looked back at her daughter and raised her eyebrows as she asked. "That's her?"

It echoed in the depths of her mind.

That's her?

Her tone was cold, taunting and patronizing; It made Jeongyeon's body temperature actually rise
with hatred.
That's her?

Jeongyeon was the one who should be asking her that.

That's her?

The person who had been nothing but a constant nuisance in Nayeon's life since she was fucking
born.

That's her?

The one who had every chance to do things the right way and still chose to hurt her own kid over
and over again.

That's her?

The mother who didn't even deserve that title after everything she put her own kid through.

"Yoo Jeongyeon." She matched her tone as she stepped forward and held out her right hand.
Jeongyeon kept her head held high even though she was taller and coldly looked down at the older
woman. "And you are?"

Yes, Jeongyeon would show her who the hell she fucking was.

Although she knew pretty well what's the name of her former mother-in-law, she wanted to make it
crystal clear that she didn't give a damn. Jeongyeon wanted to show her that Nayeon never cared
enough either since she had been avoiding that name as if it was a fucking curse.

The eldest frowned, clearly displeased with the overbearing tone Jeongyeon was sporting. But still,
she started to raise her hand to accept the goalkeeper's handshake when Nayeon stepped in front of
Jeongyeon, pushing down her previously outstretched hand and keeping it behind her back as she
now faced her own mother's extended palm.

"She's my mother, Jeongyeon. Park Haengja." Nayeon drawled out each word as if it was hard to
put it out. "And she's leaving."

"I can introduce myself, Nayeon." Haengja stepped forward and Jeongyeon suddenly felt Nayeon
clenching her hand as hard as she could to keep her from reaching out.

"Nayeon, it's okay." Jeongyeon mouthed as quietly as she could but Nayeon just shook her head.
She had her back to her as she was standing right in front of Jeongyeon, so the goalkeeper couldn't
see her face. Haengja's face, on the other hand, displayed a borderline creepy smile.

"Oh well, no handshakes today then. Guess I can live with that." She shrugged and pulled back her
hand. "So, you're really not going to invite me in? I'd like to know more about Miss Yoo
Jeongyeon."

"Mom, please, just go." Nayeon's voice was trembling, coming out just a little above a whisper.
Her hands were still holding Jeongyeon's, but they were shaking a little now.

"How rude." She scoffed as she glanced back at Jeongyeon, clicked her tongue before she flashed
another smile at Nayeon. "I'm gonna talk to your father about that boorish behavior of yours again.
If only I had known he'd do such a bad job raising you, I would've stuck around and done it
myself."
Jeongyeon could hardly believe her ears. How on earth could that woman make such a thoughtless
and hurtful remark so nonchalantly, like it's nothing but a joke? The grip Nayeon had on her hand
tightened again and that's when she decided it was time to put an end to that conversation.

She set her hand free with a little struggle. Could've sworn she saw Nayeon flinch at the lack of
contact, but soon she relaxed as she felt Jeongyeon's hands on each of her shoulders. Nayeon
stepped back to let her body touch Jeongyeon's front.

"Anyway, I had an emergency so I needed Nayeon's help. That's why she didn't show up, like you
said." Jeongyeon lied. She had so many things she wanted to say to that woman, but none of them
would make the situation better right now. Nayeon was too nervous to witness an argument and her
priority was to make her feel better. "So I apologize for that, I'm afraid this was all my fault."

"Figures." Haengja retorted with the same patronizing tone.

How was it possible that every word that came out of her mouth managed to make Jeongyeon even
more vexed?

The fact that she couldn't actually look at Nayeon troubled her even more, but she didn't need to see
her to know just how uncomfortable she was. Her hands were still clasped behind her back and she
was gripping the hem of Jeongyeon's shirt along with her hand as well.

"We aren't done sorting it out yet, so I'll need to steal her away from you for a little longer."
Jeongyeon was trying hard to keep it polite, but her voice was on the verge of irony. "So let's
reschedule our chat, shall we?"

"I see." Haengja nodded after closely watching the pair for a couple of seconds. First she looked
down at Jeongyeon again, scrutinizing her words for much longer than necessary. Then she stared
at the way her hands protectively rested over Nayeon's shoulders and concluded her search by
looking directly into her daughter's eyes. "Good luck with that emergency of yours, then." She
continued wryly. "I'm sure we'll see each other again, Yoo Jeongyeon. And you, Nayeon, think
about what we talked. I'll call you soon and I expect you to pick up this time."

The fucking sickening smile wouldn't leave her face even as she turned around and walked down
the hall. Jeongyeon didn't wait until Haengja was out of sight, as soon as she pressed the elevator
button she escorted Nayeon back inside and shut the door behind them.

Nayeon moved slowly, she looked pretty lost. She was shaken, obviously, couldn't really react at
first. She glanced at Jeongyeon trying to say something, but nothing would come out. But
Jeongyeon didn't want to hear anything either, she didn't need that right now. She just pulled
Nayeon close and hugged her tight, pressing her cheek against her head as Nayeon hid her face in
the crook of her neck.

For fuck's sake, that woman was just like a dementor. It was like a dark cloud was following her
around just to suck out every last shred of joy wherever she went. Jeongyeon was never one to
believe the whole vibes and energy crap, but if it really was a real thing she's pretty sure Park
Haengja definitely had the worst of them all.

How the hell was Nayeon able to deal with that for years if just a short conversation had already
worn Jeongyeon out? The only thing that kept Jeongyeon from following her to blurt out
everything she deserved to hear was the hold Nayeon had on her and the warmth of her body
keeping her grounded.

"Nayeon..." Jeongyeon tried even though she already knew she wouldn't be getting any answers.
Her ex-girlfriend just shook her head and held Jeongyeon tighter, keeping her impossibly closer.

All in all they still didn't talk about what happened that night. When Nayeon let go of her,
Jeongyeon realized that she hadn't even wept. She didn't mention anything about what happened
either, just asked her to stay for a while. It messed Jeongyeon up even more because all she could
think about was how used Nayeon must have been to it to just brush it off and keep going as if
nothing had happened.

But they just ordered takeout as Jeongyeon had planned earlier and then watched a movie cuddled
up on the couch. Nayeon kept cracking not that funny jokes during the whole movie, didn't shut up
for even a minute claiming that it was the only way to keep Jeongyeon from falling asleep again.
The truth was that it was actually a defense mechanism Jeongyeon was painfully familiar with.
After all, if she was talking she didn't have time to think about her problems. But Jeongyeon didn't
mind because Nayeon's silly quips were much more interesting than that crappy film which
Jeongyeon had made the foolish mistake of letting her ex-girlfriend pick.

Later, but still quite sooner than she would've liked, Jeongyeon left because whenever she didn't
get home by midnight Momo would bomb her with calls and texts. Yes, she was a grown woman
with a curfew, apparently.

Nayeon walked her to the door and locked their lips in a slow and sweet kiss before letting her go.
She also thanked her quietly without saying why, but she didn't really need to explain.

Standing in the same hallway that hours ago had witnessed a tremendous amount of tension, they
were now standing with their foreheads pressed together and their arms wrapped around each other.
Jeongyeon closed her eyes and felt like she needed to ask again. She had to try, at least.

"How are you?"

"I'll be fine, don't worry." Nayeon answered but for someone who claimed not to lie, it sure
sounded a lot like a fib to Jeongyeon. But there was nothing she could do about it, it was Nayeon's
choice and her choice alone.

"Just call me if you need anything."

"Will do."

She struggled to let go and walked to the elevator without looking back, but ended up glancing and
waving Nayeon goodbye as the doors slowly closed. She caught a glimpse of the other girl still
standing by the doorway, but Nayeon didn't wave back, it was too late.

Jeongyeon went home with a horrible feeling clenching inside chest, something telling her that
they were running out of time. The entire situation was getting out of control, there were too many
things being hidden at that point. And on top of that there was still that terrified part of her,
desperately afraid that Nayeon would just pack her things and disappear again.

That conversation was already long due. Drawing closer and closer and it felt even more like a
verdict now. A final and ultimate condemnatory sentence for them.

That's all Jeongyeon could think about for the following days: Nayeon. Not that it was odd by any
means, she was always thinking about Nayeon anyway. But this time her mother was also filling
her thoughts.

She couldn't stop theorizing about the topic of the conversation she wanted so badly to have with
her daughter. Couldn't stop wondering if Nayeon had met her again after that, if that woman had
already drained all of Nayeon's energy one more time.

Dammit, it was awful. She felt so fucking useless. Powerless for not being able to protect Nayeon
from her. Or from everything else, for that matter.

Jeongyeon wasn't sure if her ex-girlfriend had noticed that she had been avoiding her, but she did
her best not to be alone with Nayeon after the Haengja episode. She knew Nayeon was still
unwilling to talk about the issue with her mother, but she also knew herself well enough to know
that she couldn't just waltz on ahead without addressing the matter.

Back when that woman was still just an idea, a person who Jeongyeon knew existed but had never
personally met nor sought to know her, it was easier to pretend and ignore the unpleasant feelings
she had towards her for the sake of Nayeon. But now that she wasn't just an abstract image, but
rather a living and breathing being with a face, an infuriating voice and an obnoxious attitude, it
was like an awakening call. Like they had reached a turning point from which there was no going
back anymore.

Consequently, since she didn't want to pressure her ex-girlfriend on the matter, the best solution
she found was to keep a safe distance from her. She didn't avoid her altogether, but neither did she
seek her presence during all of their free time like she once would've done. Plus, she couldn't
overdo it and risk Nayeon or any of her friends noticing that something was off.

Nevertheless, she still texted her to make sure Nayeon was okay after that incident. And the fact
that Nayeon did nothing but joke about it instead of giving a straight answer was all Jeongyeon
needed for her to know that the answer was definitely no.

[10:50 am] Nayeon: You mean the whole thing with the Wicked Witch of the West?

[10:50 am] Nayeon: Don't worry, I've got it covered

[10:51 am] Nayeon: And I'll make sure to keep some water on me so she doesn't catch me off
guard again

[10:51 am] Yoo(r) #1: nayeon

[10:52 am] Yoo(r) #1: seriously

[11:14 am] Nayeon: I mean it! You don't have to worry, Jeong.

[11:14 am] Nayeon: I'm an big girl now, I can take care of myself

[11:15 am] Nayeon: Worst case scenario I'll just click my heels and say that there's no place like
home

[11:23 am] Yoo(r) #1: hey i'm not saying you're not, dorothy

[11:24 am] Yoo(r) #1: I just wanna make sure you know you can talk to me about it

[11:24 am] Nayeon: Thanks but I'm good

[11:24 am] Nayeon: Wanna drop by later?

[11:24 am] Nayeon: I'm pretty sure we gotta better things to do than talk or whatever :)

[11:40 am] Yoo(r) #1: can't, sorry

[11:40 am] Yoo(r) #1: me and momo are watching a movie later

That was a lie but Nayeon didn't need to know that.

It also wasn't like Jeongyeon was just deliberately lying to her all the time, sometimes she merely
tried a bit harder to evade her.

And yeah, you can bet that she did feel like crap about it.

[08:24 pm] Nayeon: You're coming to the party tomorrow?

[08:26 pm] Nayeon: We could leave early and pay the rooftop a little visit

[08:27 pm] Nayeon: We haven't hung out in a while

[09:31 pm] Nayeon: Jeong?

[10:45 pm] Nayeon: Guess it's a no

[11:01 pm] Yoo(r) #1: idk, we gotta a game on saturday

[11:01 pm] Yoo(r) #1: can't stay out late

[11:10 pm] Nayeon: Ok

She felt terrible for not being able to be honest and say that she missed Nayeon just as much as
Nayeon missed her. But it was for the best, she thought. She needed to back off a little. Maybe
that's exactly what both of them needed.

"You guys can't be late for the party alright, you're all called up." Dahyun cheerfully announced as
soon as she and Jihyo joined the table at their regular lunch date.

"Don't you mean invited?" Sana corrected.

"Nope, called up it is. I said what I said. We're having a team bonding activity. To bring us closer
together, you know?"

"Cool. I actually would love to get closer to you." Jihyo even tried to hold Momo, but it didn't stop
the flying water bottle that almost hit Sana's face. Jeongyeon was the one who caught the item mid-
air with her excellent goalkeeping reflexes. She sighed and shook her head as she placed the bottle
on the table.

"Dude, I really hope they find a cure for whatever the hell is going on in your brain asap, because I
won't hesitate to put you down when the time comes and we realize it's too late." Momo shot a
glare at Sana, but she just ignored and blew her a kiss.

"Sana, c'mon, stop asking for it." Jeongyeon grumbled but it didn't take the smirk off Sana's face.

"Now why would I do that if I have you as my knight in shining armor to keep me safe?" She
batted eyelashes and beamed at Jeongyeon, who just narrowed her eyes and shook her head in
rebut.

"Hold on, I'm not saying I'm against it and I already rsvp'd, but the game isn't until tomorrow. Why
is the party happening tonight?" Nayeon cut in. She had just walked in with a fresh cup of coffee in
hand and while Momo and Sana were bickering, she was updating herself with Jihyo.
"To celebrate the end of the exams, of course! We'll have another party tomorrow as well." The
defender smilingly replied.

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with our captain?" Momo, who up until then was still
glaring daggers at Sana, probably planning on methods of torture or even how to hide her best
friend's body, turned back to Jihyo in astonishment.

"Come on, why can't I just want to spend some quality time with my team? These last couple of
weeks have been kicking our asses and we're going to head home for our breaks soon. We won't be
seeing each other for a while!"

"It'll be fun, you guys!!!" Dahyun excitedly added. "Two parties? I mean, it must be twice the fun,
right? Tonight we can just hang out with the team. We keep it low, play some games and have fun.
And tomorrow after the game we invite everyone and have a proper party to celebrate the end of
our regular season."

"They're right." Momo caved. "Besides, we'll be playing DWU again. I'm pretty sure we'll need to
chill out after the game." She pointed out and shot a glance at Sana who simply shrugged like it
wasn't a big deal.

They all knew it wouldn't be an easy game. Coach Bae had already made it known that Sana
wouldn't be playing that match. She was benched for this one after the whole mess in their last
game, but she was apparently okay with it. Anyway, Momo was also right. It would be good to
blow off some steam after facing those beasts all over again. Especially considering the fact that
they were still trying to qualify. So yeah, all in all it was a pretty solid plan.

Eventually they all agreed and it wasn't long before Mina also showed up. Poor Mina, those weeks
had been almost harder for her than for the rest of them. Even though she didn't have to balance her
schedule between practices and studies like the rest of her friends, Mina was still a kind of genius
and had been actively participating in a research program besides being a TA.

While everyone else had been studying in Jeongyeon and Momo's apartment, Mina barely had any
time to spend over there. She was pretty much stuck in the lab for the past two weeks with limited
contact with the outside world, surrounded by a bunch of cocky academics assholes and dumb
wannabes PhD students - in Sana's words, of course.

"Sorry, I can't stay again. I can't be late." Mina told Sana after greeting everyone and exchanged a
few words with her friends. Her backpack was way more packed than usual, she had her laptop in
her hands along with a few textbooks stacked on top of it. And worse, she looked like she hadn't
had a proper night of sleep in days.

Jeongyeon texted her daily to make sure she was doing okay, but getting access to Mina was a very
difficult task when she was in her study mode. First because Mina wanted to make sure none of
those stuck-up pricks - yep, Sana was getting to them too - couldn't even hold a candle to her, and
second because it was virtually impossible for her to use her phone in the labs.

([09:09 pm] Minari: Sorry for taking so long to text back, Jeong. I just got home and there's low to
no service down there in HELL. And I'm fine, don't worry. But if I did freak out I migth as well
climb up to Leeteuk's ego and jump all the way down to his fucking IQ. I'm pretty sure the fall will
kill me and end it all

[09:09 pm] Minari: But anyway, sleep tight, I'll see you tomorrow <3)

"You should at least eat, Mina. I can grab something for you." Nayeon offered. She was about to
get up, but Mina stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm good, don't worry. Sana knew I'd have a busy schedule today and made sure I had a good
breakfast." Mina assured as she took some cookies from Sanas's plate, who just hummed in
agreement.

"Here, by all means, take my coffee then. I just got it." She handed over ther cup. At least that
much Mina accepted, thanking her right away.

"Mina's taking her last test this afternoon too and I promised I'd take her out for a nice dinner
tonight. That is, before you guys came up with this stupid team bonding or whatever. Now we'll
have to put it off." Sana sulked and then cast an apologetic glance at Mina. "I'm sorry."

"Weren't you just talking about how much you wanted to bond with Dahyun literally two minutes
ago?" Jihyo taunted but she was ignored. At least by Sana, because Momo kicked her under the
table.

"It's fine, we can reschedule." Mina sweetly smiled at Sana and reached out to brush off a stray
lock of hair, putting it behind her ear. Sana relaxed and her frown was gone in a second. "Since our
plans changed, I'm gonna take the lab girls up on their offer to hang out later. I'll probably be
committing a hate crime if I don't step out of that lab and have some fun after this hell of a week."

"Ah! Tell them to come and get blind drunk at our party tomorrow too! Beach House after the
game, bring them all!" Dahyun invited, grinning widely.

"We'll be there!" Mina promised. She beamed back and her smile reached her eyes even though
there were dark circles under them.

In the precious few minutes Mina spent standing there, Sana took care of feeding her more cookies,
slipped some cereal bars into her backpack and straightened the crumpled clothes on her body. She
also made sure the textbooks were neatly tucked above her laptop so they wouldn't fall. Also took
the now empty coffee cup from her hand and replaced it with a bottle of water - yes, the same one
Momo had thrown at her. All of this while looking at her flatmate with honey dripping from her
eyes.

"Shit, I gotta go now if I want to get one of the good microscopes." Mina said after checking her
phone.

"I'll walk with you. I need to swing by the library before my next class." Momo jumped to her feet
and flung her backpack onto her shoulder. Kissed Dahyun goodbye and trailed behind Mina. "See
you guys later."

"Do you think it's healthy for her to walk around with that much sugar in her system?" Jeongyeon
asked. Mina was looking way too vigorous for someone who they knew for a fact was most likely
exhausted.

"Honestly? No, I don't. But at least I got her to quit the energy drinks. Bad habits die hard, I guess."
Sana noted as she watched Mina walk away.

"The saying goes old habits die hard, dumbass." Jihyo corrected and once again was ignored by
Sana. This time she did it because after a few steps in, Mina suddenly stopped and whispered
something to Momo before turning around and walking back to the table. Momo stood still,
waiting for her by the exit.

"Did you forget something?" Sana asked, gingerly looking around.

"No. I mean, kinda..." Her gaze shyly turned to Sana. "Last time you lent me your lucky pen I did
very well, so I was wondering if you could-"

"You got it!" Sana was already fumbling through her backpack.

"Lucky… pen?" Jeongyeon confusedly asked and Sana kicked her under the table. She knew damn
well that Sana had no such thing as a lucky pen.

"Here." She handed over the item, beaming at Mina.

"You sure you won't need it?"

"Don't worry, babe. I took my last test this morning."

"Thank you, you're the best!" She kissed Sana's cheek and then she was gone. Took off with Momo
right beside her. Again, Sana stayed still, watching her go until Mina disappeared out the cafeteria
doors. Except she was a bit flushed this time.

"Lucky pen?" Jeongyeon repeated as she rubbed her sore shin.

"It's just something I made up so she wouldn't be too nervous. Don't you dare mention it to her,
though." Sana explained as she turned back to the group and found four pairs of eyes watching her
intently. "What??"

"Babe...?" Jihyo asked as if the gears were starting to turn inside her head.

"What about it?" Sana defensively replied.

"You just called Mina babe." Dahyun spoke up this time, in an almost conspiratorial tone.

"So what?" Sana frowned even deeper.

"You never call anyone that." Jeongyeon pointed out.

At first it almost went unnoticed by Jeongyeon, but her friends caught it too and Dahyun seemed
honestly surprised. Jihyo had a shit eating grin on her face while Nayeon looked a little... worried?
Alright, hold on, what's going on?

"Um, sorry, but have you met me? I call everyone babe." She impatiently replied as if she had just
heard the world's dumbest shit.

"Well, actually, you don't..." Jeongyeon looked at Sana as if she had grown two heads. "You don't
call anyone babe."

"With all due respect, princess, but have you lost your mind? You're probably my biggest victim
here, I'm all over you and Dahyun all the fucking time."

"Yeah, exactly. You call us princess, darling, even hotshot sometimes, you should quit that one by
the way. But not babe. Never." Dahyun stated thoughtfully, as if she was searching her memory to
make sure she wasn't wrong.

"You've said it yourself, Sana. You mentioned that you don't do it because it might give people
hope. I vividly remember you telling me that's a line you can't cross, don't you?" Jihyo pressed.
Probably pay back for what happened on that eventful day on Jeongyeon's building stairwell. The
captain seemed the most determined to get something out of Sana.
"Look, I think you guys are reading way too much into it." Sana chuckled awkwardly. "So, we
were talking about the party. Do we have to bring something or…?"

"Okay, let's talk about parties then." Jihyo kept going with a knowing smirk. The kind she only
used when she was about to do something uncalled for. "What happened to all those girls who were
always simping over you? I haven't seen you doing as much as flirting around anymore."

"Well, for starters, I think you should stop keeping track of who I talk to or don't because that's
weird, you know. People might think you've got a crush on me, and we don't want that now that
you're a taken woman, do we?" She shot back trying to match Jihyo's mocking tone. "And second,
Momo just trew a fucking water bottle at me for flirting with her girlfriend. She almost has an
aneurysm every time I compliment Dahyun and Jeongyeon probably wakes up in the middle of the
night in cold sweats because of how much I've been texting her lately. So what's your fucking
point?!"

"Yeah, you've been exceptionally more... affectionate, I guess? With both of us because we're
literally the only people you've been playing around lately." Dahyun drawled as if she was slowly
completing her train of thought.

"Except Mina, of course." Jihyo mused. "Who you've grown especially close to in the last few
months. And coincidentally that's also when you started acting off."

"Acting off?" Sana snorted. "Cap, I'm gonna ask one more time: are you jealous by any chance?
Because surprisingly enough, you have a girlfriend and I'm not her!" She tried to pull a joke, but
she was visibly nervous. "And Mina's my roommate, what did you expect? Of course we're close."

"A roommate who you promise to take on nice dinners and cook full breakfasts just because you
know she's going to have a busy day, that's interesting." Jihyo pressed yet again with a highly
suggestive tone.

"I didn't cook, I bought it. Because she's my friend, I'd do the same for any of you." Sana found
herself feeling as if she had to defend herself. "That is, if you guys weren't so insufferable, of
course."

"The only friend who can make you shy just by being around and who can also make you shut up
with just a touch, right? Who gets you all worried and in a full girlfriend mood, as well as making
you blush with a single kiss on the cheek. Not to mention that she has you dropping the B word
without even realizing it."

Sana didn't retaliate this time; she didn't try to fight back or even joke her way out of it. She tensed
up as her hands unconsciously clenched into fists. Frowned deeper, seeming lost in her own mind
as her gaze fell into nothingness.

"If I didn't know any better I'd even go as far as say that you're in-"

"We were talking about the party." Nayeon cut Jihyo off, not letting her finish her sentence. A
sharp look from Nayeon to each one of them was enough to put an end to that matter.

Sana didn't notice because she still seemed oblivious to the commotion around her, but the group
fell silent before they all got the memo and drifted to talk about the plans for the party. Or
anything else other than what just happened, whatever the hell that was.

Jeongyeon wasn't sure if Sana caught up on the change of topic since she went froze for a whole
minute. But then as if she was snapping out of it, she stood up, picked up her backpack and walked
off toward the exit without saying a word. Nayeon stood up to follow her, but Jeongyeon gently
held her wrist to stop her.

"I'll talk to her." She murmured before casting a disapproving glance at Jihyo, who winced a bit,
already looking apologetic.

Okay, she and Dahyun had also played a part in the whole thing even if unintentionally, the only
one who wasn't to blame there was Nayeon, surprisingly. Still, Jihyo more than anyone should've
known better than to press the wrong buttons since she was already onto something.

"No, I need to talk to her. You stay." Nayeon broke away from her hold and hurried up to follow
Sana, leaving a bewildered Jeongyeon behind.

Sure she knew Nayeon and Sana were getting along better now, but since when were they this
close?

Jeongyeon jogged a bit to trail Nayeon and earned a scolding look from her once she caught up, but
the goalkeeper just brushed it off as the two of them walked side by side. They kept a safe distance
from Sana as they followed her throughout the hallways.

Okay, so… Sana liked Mina, apparently.

Fuck, Sana really liked Mina... apparently?

Goddammit, Sana and Mina, Mina and Sana... shit.

Jeongyeon was aware that the two of them had... something going on, but to actually be in love?
She didn't see that coming.

Not that Jeongyeon had the same mindset as some other people at their college where they pictured
Sana as a person incapable of loving someone in that way. Someone who would never allow
themselves to be attached like that. No, Jeongyeon knew her, it definitely wasn't that. But for them
it was easier to think that rather than to accept that she just didn't want to date them.

Jeongyeon just thought that Sana would be wiser and do better rather than get involved with one of
the few people she probably shouldn't. I mean, it could be troublesome considering both of their
histories. But yeah, she went there and fell for her roommate.

Well, if love was supposed to be smart you wouldn't be sneaking around with your ex-girlfriend at
any given opportunity, would you?

Ouch, Jeongyeon's conscience ended up scolding herself for her. A brief glance at the girl power
walking by her side was enough to make her understand that love was never a simple thing.

A couple of minutes later they caught Sana strolling into an apparently empty classroom.
Jeongyeon stood in front of the recently closed door and checked to make sure that there was no
one else in there, nodding to Nayeon right after. And as soon as they entered they spotted Sana
inside.

Oh, she and Nayeon had a pretty good time here once. That's the first thing that came to her mind
as she recognized the premises.

Fuck, Jeongyeon, focus. She shook her head and brought her attention back to her target who was
standing at the far end of the classroom, looking restless as she held tightly to one of the last desks.
 Although she had seen many different sides of Sana, she had never seen her friend like that before.
Besides her usual perky and naturally witty personality which she could quickly change to flirty
and dangerous in a matter of seconds, Jeongyeon had also witnessed Sana upset. Frustrated and
downright angry both on and off the field. She had held a weeping Sana in her arms as she cried
over news from relatives she didn't want to be in touch with, and she also had seen her in other
instances of deep fragility and distress.

She knew all those sides of Sana as well as countless others. All the good ones and the bad too, and
she stood by her side through every one of them. That's because despite acting like she was the
toughest and most independent person out there, Jeongyeon knew pretty well that Sana was also
vulnerable; way more than she would ever be willing to admit.

Yet she had never seen this Sana before. The Sana who had just been hit by a reality shock. A jolf
of acceptance, maybe? Or just denial? She would find out soon enough.

Nayeon and Jeongyeon locked eyes to decide who would speak first and the floor eventually fell to
Jeongyeon. Nayeon stood a little further back which was actually at the front of the classroom as
the goalkeeper slowly walked towards Sana.

"Sana?" She called just above a whisper.

Sana swiftly turned around looking a little startled. Even though Jeongyeon had kept her voice
down, her presence was still unexpected since she didn't seem to notice the door being opened. She
was frowning deep, cheeks even more flushed than when she left their table. Lines of tension that
didn't suit her at all were all over her face. She wasn't crying, but breathing heavily as if she had
just come out of a match. Her features softened a little when she realized who was calling her and
her next words slipped out of her lips before she could even think about it.

"I think I'm in love with her."

Chapter End Notes

ok so, as i mentioned before in some comments i'll be posting a one shot to get into the
details of misana's relationship, so because of that i now present to you the epiphany
series. yeah, i just turned this story into a series. i thought i'd better do that because i
don't wanna get too far away from the focus of this story which is 2yeon, but rest
assured that we'll still have misana around here as well. anyway, misana's story will be
called insight and if you wanna tag along all you gotta do is subscribe to this series.
it'll take a while since i'm still writing this one but i promise you it'll come eventually!

and well, get ready for a pretty eventful chapter next week. i also apologize in advance
:(
 the five stages of grief
Chapter Summary

"I'm calling out our bet now." Nayeon's eyes were boring into hers and she didn't even
hesitate with the new found proximity.

"What?" Sana was the one who flinched. She took a step back and her hip hit the desk
behind her.

"Your confession. Go ahead, tell me the truth."

Chapter Notes

i suggest you listen to twice's handle it a to get in the right mood for this chapter :)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"I think I'm in love with her."

Wow, okay. Jeongyeon didn't expect an answer that easy. Especially not an answer like that.

But who was she trying to fool? Sana was Sana, after all. She was as honest as one could be.

Either way, Jeongyeon couldn't help but feel a little taken aback. Nayeon, on the other hand, didn't
seem the least bit fazed. She sat down at one of the front desks and stayed put.

"I- I guess? I think I am and I might have just realized it." Sana added looking fairly flustered. And
deeply distressed, to be honest.

"Okay." Jeongyeon nodded and slowly approached her as if she was stepping closer to a wounded
animal. "Would you like to, uh… maybe elaborate on that a bit?"

"I screwed up!" She snapped. Jeongyeon looked at Nayeon like she was asking for help, but her ex-
girlfriend just shrugged as if she was telling her to let her be. Gee, thanks.

"What do you mean? Mina is great. I know she's your roommate, but I think you could-"

"I'm so fucked! For fuck's sake, how could I have been so stupid?!" Sana was pacing now and
Jeongyeon knew she needed to get her to calm down a bit, but Sana went off before she could say
anything. "I'm sure she told you about her ex, didn't she? She told me that you guys met when you
were whining about your ex-girlfriends or something."

"I mean, I wasn't exactly whining..." She avoided Nayeon's gaze, blushing hard and feeling an urge
to clear it up. But all it took was one glance at Sana's helpless features and that was enough to
bring her back to focus. "Well, that's not the point. But yes, I know about her ex. What about her?"

"So you know they started sleeping together out of convenience and her dumbass friend ended up
falling for her."

"I'm aware." The goalkeeper took yet another brief glance at Nayeon hoping to see at least a bit of
curiosity in her eyes, but she remained unimpressed.

"Yeah, so when she told me about it I literally laughed at her ex. Because who the hell would
waste perfectly good casual sex over feelings? And well, you've been with Mina, Jeong, so you
know when I say good it's like- good, really good. Seriously, how can she be so-"

"Sana, you're rambling." Blushing even deeper than the girl in front of her, Jeongyeon cut her off
more for the sake of self-preservation rather than anything else.

"I'm rambling!!" Sana acknowledged in an atypical high pitched tone. "Damn, I'm rambling,
Jeongyeom. I don't fucking ramble! Shit, I think I'm panicking."

It would actually be funny if it wasn't kind of scary. Jeongyeon had never seen Sana so much as
stammer over a girl, let alone become a ramble mess and get all freaked out over a crush. Wait, a
crush? No, it was way more than that. Apparently.

"It's okay, breath." Jeongyeon reached over and coaxed Sana into sitting on one of the desks,
rubbing circles on her back and sitting by her side. "Just breathe."

It took a couple of minutes to really get Sana to calm down, but as Jeongyeon soothed her, she
gradually remembered the story Mina had told her when they first met. She connected the dots and
finally began to understand Sana's worries. She hadn't really thought about it before, but her
friend's anxiety over this whole thing made a lot of sense now.

"But hey, look at it! Now I'm the damn dumbass friend who fell for her. Holy shit-" Sana jumped
to her feet and started cursing as she also went back to pacing. "Actually this is all her fucking
fault! Damn Mina with that freaking pretty smile and perfect body and- and goddamn angelic voice
and well, a special fuck off to all the other heavenly things she does with her mouth and ugh- the
stupidly cute way she walks around..." Sana kept on spewing out insults that sounded much more
like compliments than anything else.

"Okay, so we're out of denial then. We've just hit the anger phase now." That's the first thing
Nayeon said since she came into that classroom. Sana promptly ignored her - or didn't listen,
probably - and Jeongyeon cast her a scolding glance.

"...and if she wasn't so fucking attractive stating those dorky trivia knowledge I don't even care
about, or if she didn't talk so much about her stupid classes or about those silly superheros movies
she likes or- or, or about anything at all, actually. If she would just, you know, shut the fuck up, I
guess? Well, I just know that none of this would be happening at all! And Gosh, don't get me
started on those nerdy pun and jokes she's always cracking because if we're being honest I don't
really get half of it, but fuck, it does make her look like ten times hotter." Pretty graphic, alright.
Even mid-breakdown Sana was managing to be Sana. That's nice, I guess.

"Sana, sit down for a bit. You're about to dig a hole into the ground." Jeongyeon tried to no avail.

"Oh, I wish! It would be so much easier if a hole swallowed me whole right now." Sana threw her
arms up in the air. "Maybe... well maybe, I can talk to her and- and maybe if I'm honest? I mean,
perhaps she'll get it, right? She might understand and she's kind so she'll let me down easily. Then
we can stop this whole thing we have going on and we'll still be friends. That's it."

"Bargain, we're almost there." Nayeon mumbled.

"But is that really what you want? To be just friends with her?" Jeongyeon pressed a little.

"Well, what other option do I have here? She's... damn, I really blew everything up."

"What other- hey, are you dumb? She might like you too, you idiot."

"Oh." She snorted at that. "Yeah, I highly doubt that."

"You're already sleeping together, it's not like she's indifferent to you."

"But that's the thing. We're just sleeping together, Jeongyeon, that's all. We both knew the rules
from the beginning, this wasn't supposed to happen." She paused, frowning with her hands on her
hips. "She was also sleeping with her former friend turned former girlfriend turned into ex before
all that drama between them happened. But it didn't mean she liked her, quite the opposite,
actually." There we go, the real deal. The root of the problem.

"You and her ex aren't the same." Jeongyeon tried to be reasonable since Sana was clearly not in a
position to use logic right now.

"But the situation is the same."

"What if it isn't?"

"What if it is??" She raised her voice. Sana didn't mean to yell, but she was too worked up to care
about her tone right now. "I just- no, I can't risk it. No fucking way. If I tell her she'll definitely
want to move out and I can't have that. She can't know!"

"And now we're off to depression."

"Nayeon, knock it off!?" Jeongyeon snapped. Why on earth did she want to come if it wasn't going
to help at all?"

"Just let her vent, Jeong. She needs to get it off her chest, there's no point in trying to use logic with
her right now." She flatly replied as if she knew better than them all. Sana was still pacing and
Jeongyeon just glared at Nayeon. It felt like a staring contest, but she eventually gave in. Choose to
let Sana be.

"She... she's just too good. Too nice even to let me down, I guess. If I confess and she doesn't feel
the same way, she won't want to turn me down. It'll be like the whole thing with her ex all over
again."

"I don't believe that." The goalkeeper cut in again. "I'm sure she'll be honest with you."

"How'd you know? You can't be sure!"

"She wouldn't put herself through all of that again." Jeongyeon yet again tried to reason. She was
trying really hard to be helpful without stepping out of line and revealing everything Mina had
confessed to her in secret. "Listen, the situation with her ex was completely different. That girl
knew Mina had no romantic feelings for her and still she went on with it. She was manipulative
and selfish, she put Mina's feelings aside and did not give a damn about how the person who she
claimed to love really felt. Honestly, this whole thing still doesn't sit right with me, I can't believe
that it really was love." She took the opportunity to share something that had also been bothering
her for a long time. "She's lucky she's all the way to Japan right now, otherwise I'd really like to
have a few words with her."
"Yeah, I get it." Sana mumbled under her breath, crossing her arms and sharing the same feeling as
Jeongyeon. At last she seemed a little calmer now, stopped pacing but there was a glimpse of anger
in her eyes.

"And that's not who you are, Sana." Jeongyeon drew closer. "Just by being here right now and
opening up to us like that, showing all of this concern already proves that you're different from her.
You're better."

"I don't know, Jeong." The uneasiness burned into her eyes and she roamed around the classroom
to avoid the glance of her friends. "I guess it's even worse for her now because I know she's going
to think that she's got all of you at stake too. I'm afraid she'll feel like she's going to lose you guys if
she turns me down."

"We wouldn't-"

"I know that any of you'd never treat her differently because of that. Hell, I wouldn't either, I can
settle for friendship if that's what she wants. But I'm still afraid that she'll end up thinking
otherwise and try to distance herself from us altogether." Sana shook her head, her voice was
cracking at the end. The last sentence came out just above a whisper and through glistening eyes. "I
can't let that happen."

"I'm positive she knows that she's just as important to us as you are. But if by any chance she has
any doubts, I'll make sure she knows it myself, I promise. We won't let her go anywhere, Sana.
Neither her nor you, we're family." Jeongyeon ensured with a gentle hand on her shoulder. Sana
went silent for a while so they let her think. The room was so quiet that they could even hear the
conversations of the students walking through the halls outside.

Jeongyeon really wanted to help, but she was well aware that there were boundaries and lines she
couldn't cross. Besides, she still somehow felt bad that she had missed so much. This obviously had
been going on for a really long time but she was so caught up in her personal affairs that she ended
up being neglectful towards her friends.

Not that she thought she could single handed fix all of their problems for them, no, Jeongyeon was
barely dealing with her own shit, for fucks sake. But maybe if she had been more mindful she
could've at least tried to help before it got that bad. After all, seeing one of her most put together
friends so hopeless should be classified as bad-bad.

"I don't know..." She sighed. "I- I think it's not going to work. I can't do that with her. Everything is
gonna change if I confess, one way or another. It's not worth jeopardizing what we have now, I'd
rather keep it the way it is and ignore this stupid feeling. It'll go away eventually." Sana wrapped
up her rant. She sat down on the same desk, looking beaten and defeated. Stared at the floor to
keep her friends from seeing the unshed tears in her eyes. It didn't work.

"No, it won't." Another voice echoed from across the room. They both looked at Nayeon who was
still holding the same position. Picking at her fingernails as if she was waiting for something. "Go
away, I mean. Are you done yet?"

She drew yet another aggravated glare from Jeongyeon and a weary sigh from Sana, but as soon as
the latter nodded she jumped off the desk and walked over to the pair.

"First off, for someone who's claiming to have only acknowledged their feelings now, you seem to
have already thought it all through, didn't you?" Nayeon cocked an eyebrow at her. "All the
downsides, at least. That's not very Sana of you." Jeongyeon made room for her when Nayeon
came to a halt right in front of Sana, staring down at her with a blank expression on her face.
"I... I may have thought about it before. Being with her for real, I mean." Sana blushed, bashfully
admitting as she kept her gaze down. "I've been thinking about it quite often, actually, but up until
now it only felt like stupid fake scenarios I was playing out in my head because it's- well, it's nice. I
just didn't realize how serious it was until now."

"Alright then, so we've reached acceptance at last."

"Nayeon." Jeongyeon breathed out as a request. Only Nayeon would think it's a good idea to list
the five stages of grief in a moment like that.

"What are you really afraid of, Sana?" She ignored Jeongyeon and tilted her head to the side.

"I literally just said it."

"You know that's not it."

"So now you know better than I do about my own feeling?" Sana finally looked up at her. The
formerly lost features now also had a hint of rage too. The effect they had on each other was
imminent.

"When you're being a stubborn brat? Yes, I do." She flatly shot back.

"You don't know anything." Sana pushed herself up to her feet so she was standing face to face
with Nayeon.

"I'm calling out our bet now." Nayeon's eyes were boring into hers and she didn't even hesitate with
the new found proximity.

"What?" Sana was the one who flinched. She took a step back and her hip hit the desk behind her.

"Your confession. Go ahead, tell me the truth." Her tone was steady and final. Demanding even,
and Sana gulped. "You know, when we made the bet I wanted you to admit your feelings, of
course. But I realized that I didn't need you to admit what was right in front of us, so I figured I'd
save it for a more favorable occasion. That time is now, Sana. So let's get straight to the point, shall
we? What are you so fucking afraid of?"

Sana tightly crossed her arms against her chest. She looked away as one of her feet restlessly
tapped against the floor.

"As much as you might wanna try to fool us- or rather, fool yourself, I know it isn't from a
potential rejection you're afraid of because I've seen you around each other. And as much as it hurts
me to say it, you're not an idiot, Sana. You know she likes you just as much as you like her."

Nayeon proceeded to walk in front of her as if it was an interrogation. She tried to meet her gaze
but Sana wouldn't budge.

"What you're really afraid of isn't even how much you like her because you make no bones about
trying to hide how smitten you are. Which leads me to believe that maybe it's how much she likes
you that really makes you panic."

Jeongyeon probably should do something to stop it before it developed into a fight, a screaming
match or whatever they usually do, but she could do nothing but watch the scene unfold before her
eyes like it was a car crash. A voice in the back of her mind was telling her to just let it be. A voice
that sounded a lot like her ex-girlfriend's whenever she had that resolute look on her face.
"The thing we have going on right now..." Sana started, wrapping her arms around herself even
tighter. She swallowed, wet her lips and Jeongyeon saw all the walls she had built up slowly falling
down. "Well, it features the one thing I know I'm good at. It's my comfort zone. I can make sure I
won't let her down in that regard, but what about the rest? I like the way we are now. I just like the
way she looks at me like- like she thinks I can do no wrong. Because she hasn't seen all of me yet,
and if we take it a step further she will. Eventually she's going to see just how fucked up I am and
it's going to hurt a lot more when she realizes that's not worth it. That I'm not worth it."

Not for the first time that day Jeongyeon didn't know what to say. Of all the ways that conversation
could possibly play out, that one was certainly one she hadn't foreseen. Sana, of all people, reduced
to just an unsettled soul? A ghost of herself? Lost, insecure, babbling as she opened up to a person
she allegedly hated?

No, that wasn't right. If anyone made Sana actually believe that, Jeongyeon would-

"Who said that?" She couldn't help herself, mad at whoever made her friend feel like that. She
stomped her feet as she approached the pair again. "Because whoever told you that doesn't know
what the hell they're-"

Nayeon's hand sliding over her own made Jeongyeon stop mid-sentence. It didn't take more than
that gesture and a knowing look to tell her that she had got it all wrong. She caught on to the
meaningful look the two of them exchanged, meaning that whatever was happening there was
something beyond Jeongyeon's comprehension.

Nayeon let go of Jeongyeon's hand and leaned against the desk right next to Sana, reaching out to
hold one of her hands instead. Then she cleared her throat before speaking again.

"I get it. What you said about your fear of letting her down, I mean. It's understandable, but it's not
insurmountable. It never really goes away, if you ask me. Or at least not completely. And at the
same time it keeps you grounded, it also makes you want to run away. But I promise you that you'll
regret it for the rest of your life if you don't give it a try."

Jeongyeon wasn't really following, but Nayeon and Sana seemed to be on the same page. For a
second she even felt like she was intruding on a private moment of theirs. As if whatever was
happening right then wasn't something she should be witnessing. Her suspicions were confirmed
when Nayeon opened her mouth again.

"It can be... scary sometimes. When you realize you like someone that much. Especially for the
first time." Jeongyeon didn't miss the brief glance Nayeon cast her way, but it was gone as quickly
as it came. "You can call me a fucking narcissist later if you want to, but right now I'm gonna need
to talk about my experience to try to help out, okay?"

Sana let out a watery chuckle but she nodded anyway. Jeongyeon didn't know exactly when Sana
started crying, but there were tears running down her cheeks.

"It wasn't easy for me when I first fell in love. From accepting to doing something about it, the
whole nine yards. We- um- I had a deal kind of similar to the one you have with Mina, but a little
more PG considering our age back then, if you know what I mean." Nayeon added in a hurried
breath. "Except that… well. Except that I already had those feelings even before we started. And
for the longest time I also expect it to go away. Thought it'd wear off, thought I could keep it for
myself; but at the end of the day I couldn't because- because it was love. And if we could control
love it'd lose its meaning as it is, wouldn't it? I mean, at least I think so."

Nayeon kept her gaze fixed on her hands, which were idly playing with Sana's now.
"But love is also made of choices, you know? Actually that's one of the most important parts. So I
finally sucked it up and did something about it, and anyone would say that that's the hardest part,
right? You do something, you get the girl and you live happily ever after." She chuckled as she
shook her head, but there was no humor in it. "What a whole load of bullshit." Nayeon wistfully
added. "The hardest part for people like us is to feel like we actually deserve the happiness we get,
because you keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. You're so used to things going downhill over
and over again that when it stops- when you have one good thing, a good month or even a good
year, it still feels like it's just too good to be true." She sighed sadly. Took a second to even her
breathing and to build up the strength to keep going. "Sometimes that's the only thing going on in
your mind. You keep wondering why they're still with you or when they'll finally have enough of
your crap." Her gaze was more hazy now, as if she was having some kind of introspection.
"Because that's how it's like when someone makes you feel like you're hard to love."

Jeongyeon found herself unable to look at them any longer. She turned her back and crossed her
arms as she tried hard to hold back her own tears. Not that she was religious by any means, but she
felt like falling down to her knees and praying to whoever might be listening that she hadn't been
the one who made Nayeon feel that way.

"I know that our paths are pretty different, Sana. I'm not even talking about Mina right now. I just
want to let you know that I know how it feels when the person who's supposed to love you doesn't
do it the right way and I know how damaged it can be to virtually any other relationship in your
life. I wish I could tell you that it'll go away or that you'll grow out of it, or anything to make you
feel better, I swear, but I can't because I don't wanna lie to you. This is a battle that we gotta fight
every day."

Nayeon got up and stood in front of her again. She held both of her hands to pull her to her feet
before she wiped Sana's tears away, trying to put her back together.

"I guess that's because the wounds of not being loved are still a love thing, and as I said before, if
we could control it I think the good kind of love would lose its meaning."

She worked on her clothes. Smoothed out her sweater and the shirt underneath it, even fixed the
necklace Sana was wearing. Gradually bringing back to the usual neat appearance she normally
carried.

"And it's not fair nor easy, it's just life, you know." She shrugged, still working on Sana. "It's
different for everybody, but it helps a lot when you're not doing it alone. And you definitely are
not, Sana, we'll always have your back."

Only then did Jeongyeon muster up the courage to look at them again. She still didn't feel like she
should be watching this, but she needed to.

"I'm not saying that being with her will solve everything, far from it. She can't fix you no matter
how hard she tries. But I'm telling you that you shouldn't keep yourself from a good shot at being
happy just because you're afraid you'll fuck it up. Maybe you're not ready for yet and it's fine if
you're not because to make things work you have to be ready to be honest with her. Even more than
you were with us just now. And if she likes you she'll wait for you, no matter how much time it
takes."

Nayeon's hands went up to Sana's shoulders at last. Gave it a reassurance squeeze as their gazes
met again.

"I don't know if I'm making any sense to you, I feel like I'm just saying loose words right now so
I'm sorry. All I'm trying to say it's that you're worthy of love, Sana. Don't let anyone make you
believe otherwise, not even your dumb self." She rounded off with a sense of finality and at the
very same moment Sana launched herself at her. Nayeon hugged her back and rubbed her back as
she quietly sobbed into her shoulder.

Whilst Jeongyeon was filled with fondness as she saw Nayeon's relationship with Sana developing
right before her eyes, something also hurt deep in her guts when she remembered the kind of roots
that bound them together. Wounds caused by undeserving relatives who wounded them so
thoroughly that they felt shattered to the extent that they didn't feel fit to be loved.

All Jeongyeon wanted was to protect them both from any harm, to rid them of all that pain. Went as
far as thinking she would trade places with them if she could, but would she ever be as strong as
them? Probably not. She's a coward, after all.

She couldn't do anything about it, there was no point in dwelling on that. There was nothing she
could do to ease their pain and when her gaze met Nayeon's bloodshot eyes over Sana's shoulder,
her heart ached even more.

Useless. That's how she felt when all she could do was scoot closer and wrap the two of them in an
embrace as Sana's quiet sobs filled the room.

...

Later on, they left that classroom with the promise not to talk about anything that was discussed in
there with anyone. At least for the time being it was better this way. They still had half a day ahead
of them, many things to do and places to go, all of which could not be postponed.

Jeongyeon should've known better than to attend a party in that mood, but Jihyo - and Dahyun -
called her up and when the captain summoned them, they had no other choice but to show up.

The next day's game would be held at Yonsei and it was their very last home match of the regular
season. They'd also be hosting a party after the game to celebrate, but the Beach House residents
felt like throwing a small gathering on Friday night to commemorate not only the end of the finals,
but also the fact that they had already clinched their spot in the playoffs in advance. So if they
ignore the nuisance that the team they'd be playing against was DWU, everything else was great.

They had only one more away game on the following weekend to complete the schedule before
being cleared to spend a few weeks at home. A short break before they were back in action for the
second term since the playoffs took place at the very beginning of the semester. It wasn't ideal to be
playing soccer mid winter, so fall games it is. It had always been Jeongyeon's favorites anyway.

The athletes were granted less time off while the other students had over a one-month long break.
That is, when the athletes were qualified for the playoffs, which the volleyball team, for instance,
were not. So it's quite a privilege to spend at least a few days on an almost empty campus.

Speaking of the devil, it had been months since the soccer team - read Nayeon - had pulled that last
prank on their place and Jennie still hadn't retaliated. Jihyo's initial paranoia wore off over time and
later Jeongyeon came to find out that she was only that nervous because of the secret affair
between her and Sejoeng, which made her more anxious. The truth was that she was afraid that her
girlfriend would end up being caught in the crossfire, but now that her closest friends knew
everything she was considerably calmer about it, or at least as much as possible.

"We're going to be wrapping Tzuyu in bubble wrap until the playoffs start, that's it." Sana loudly
chirped as Tzuyu was trying to flee from her hugs, or rather assaults, as the striker called.
After Jeongyeon scolded Jihyo and Dahyun for pushing Sana like that, the two of them promised
that they'd apologize and pledged not to dwell on the Mina matter any longer. She didn't know if
the apologies had already been delivered, but the way Sana was acting as her typical self again was
good enough for Jeongyeon. In any case, both she and Nayeon repeatedly told her that they were in
her corner if she needed to talk about it.

"I swear to God that if the curse strikes again..." Momo grumbled as she walked past filling the
empty cups across the living room.

"Shut up, it'll hear you." Sana rebuked, hopping up to cover Momo's mouth with her hand.

"The curse will hear me?" Momo frowned and pushed her away.

"The energies, I don't know." Sana shrugged. "Just shut up anyways."

"You're an idiot."

"I'll show you who's the idiot."

"Will you send me a selfie?"

Momo and Sana kept arguing and Tzuyu tiptoed out of the room, seizing her chance to escape from
Sana for good.

There were only members of the team present that night. The event was meant to be a small,
supervised gathering since they had a game the next day. But that's more than enough to send
Jeongyeon's mind back to a similar event in the past.

It happened over two years ago at that very same place, when she and the rest of their friends were
still in their freshman year. They were in the middle of the regular season so they probably
shouldn't be partaking in a drinking party on a pre-practice night, but the current captain had
invited them and what captain wanted, captain got. That much hadn't changed.

"Never have I ever had sex on campus." Momo said and waited. Jeongyeon silently took a sip as
other members of the team did the same, but she curiously glanced at Nayeon when her girlfriend
didn't move.

"We've been here for months and you haven't gotten laid yet? What's wrong? Is this a new vow of
chastity or something?" Sana nudged Momo's ribs.

"Not on campus, you moron. I said on campus."

"When you say campus do you mean like strictly public spaces or do our dorms also count?"
Nayeon inquired, sounding genuinely interested and Jeongyeon's face went bright red.

Did Nayeon forget about their extracurricular activities on the rooftop or was she just trying to
annoy Momo and Sana? Jeongyeon mused to herself. Either way, she made the most of the
position she was sitting in, which was right behind Nayeon with an arm loosely wrapped around
her waist, to hide her face behind her girlfriend's shoulder as they sat around the huddled circle on
the living room carpet.

"You mean m y dorm? I swear to God, Nayeon, if I ever catch you-" Sana started but the then-
captain Yongsun cut her off to clear Nayeon's doubts.

"I'd say that for you guys, the freshmen, the dorms also count since you're staying on the college
grounds. For us who live here at the Beach House, for instance, it doesn't since it's not exactly on
campus grounds."

"Oh, come on, so I drank for nothing?" Moonbyul whined and Nayeon finally sipped her drink
after mumbling a soft okay under her breath. Jeongyeon shook her head and rested her chin on her
girlfriend's shoulder again.

"Next."

"Never have I ever gone skinny dipping." It was Sana's turn and Momo was the first to drink
proudly. Nayeon and Jeongyeon flipped yet another shot as they exchanged an amused look full of
mirth remembering their adventures at Nayeon's pool back at their hometown. Jihyo rolled her eyes
and made gag sounds from across the circle.

"Never have I ever had a lewd dream about someone who's in this room right now." Moonbyul
dared looking directly at Yongsun and they both took their shots while having a sort of staring
contest. The sexual tension was so intense that Nayeon and Jeongyeon almost forgot to take their
own shots, but when they did remember to do so and turned back to recover the bottle on the floor,
they caugth a glimpse Jihyo taking a shot of her own.

"Ji- Jihyo?" Jeongyeon hesitated and Nayeon took a little longer to process, but then she squawked.

"JIHYO DID YOU-"

"Shut up!"

"No! You can't drop a bomb and just not tell who it is. It was me, wasn't it? I know it was me."
Nayeon shot back laughing as she stretched out on the floor to poke at her friend's thigh. Jeongyeon
held Nayeon's waist to pull her back knowing that her girlfriend would be in life threatening danger
if she kept teasing Jihyo.

"Oh, you wish!" The defender slapped Nayeon's hand away.

"Just admit it! Go ahead, it's okay. I won't judge and Jeongyeon won't be jealous. She'll get over it,
I promise."

"Never have I ever had a crush on my best friend for over two years before I finally woman the
fuck up to do something about it." Jihyo spat out glaring at Nayeon. A wicked grin made its way to
her face, making the stricker stop her teasing altogether.

"Oh, so that's how you're gonna play? Dirty?" Nayeon went back to her place, pouting and feeling
betrayed.

"Just drink up, superstar." Nayeon rolled her eyes and flipped another shot, still glaring back at
Jihyo. Jeongyeon was quite amused and was also glad to be behind Nayeon so her girlfriend
wouldn't see her laughing.

"Two years? Really?" Moonbyul sneered. She and Yongsun were closer now, both had plopped
down on the couch together. "Damn, Im, I never took you for a woman who lacked actions."

"It was a process, okay? Almost took a village. It was hard to believe that I was really in love with
this dumbass over here." Nayeon tried to reach out and pinch Jeongyeon's cheeks, but the
goalkeeper grabbed her wrist mid-way through it.

"Dumbass? Seriously?" Jeongyeon challenged, still holding Nayeon in place.

"It doesn't matter, baby. You know I'm with you because of your looks." Nayeon deadpanned and
Jeongyeon couldn't keep a serious demeanor any longer.

"You're lucky I like you." She whispered in Nayeon's ear and placed a kiss on her neck before
going back to resting her chin on her shoulder.

"I know I'm lucky." She beamed, leaning her head against Jeongyeon's.

"Would you mind keeping it PG?" Sana moodily hissed. "It's your turn anyway, Jeongyeon. Just go
already."

"Ah, okay. Never have I ever..." Jeongyeon bit her lip, taking a moment to think.

She actually thought that game was pretty stupid, but since she was still new on the team she was
making an effort to fit in. Besides, it was a little more tricky for her since most of her teammates
were making mind blowing statements about prurient adventures while she didn't have any
experience that Nayeon didn't know about.

Not that she wanted to, by any means, that was exactly why they were playing that game. Because
it was either that or the spin the bottle one which was going on in the kitchen, so the couple chose
to stay there where they wouldn't have to snog other people.

"Just go already, princess." Sana groaned.

"Never have I ever hooked up with someone just because... I guess." She shyly blurted out. Even
closed her eyes regretting when she realized just how lame that must have sounded, but the kiss
Nayeon landed on the corner of her mouth made her forget her embarrassment. She didn't care
about anything else when Nayeon took her right hand and placed it in her lap to play with the
newly placed ring that lay there.

"What do you mean by just because?" Momo pondered aloud. "I might hook up with someone
because they're hot. That's a good enough reason if you ask me."

"Why half the questions always need some sort of explanation?" Jihyo grumbled as she nudged
Momo's shoulder. Then everyone looked to Yongsun, who was usually the one who cleared up
their doubts.

"Nope, don't look at me. I'll leave this one for our rising goalkeeper."

"Oh." Jeongyeon wasn't expecting that. She thought she had been clear enough, but she started to
explain growing even more flushed. "I don't know... like, I- I never kissed anyone I didn't have
feelings for? So I mean like not just attraction, but real romantic feelings?" Needless to say, she
struggled to get it out. She stuttered a little but in the end everyone seemed satisfied with her
explanation.

"Dude, you're too soft." Sana took her shot right after. Everyone in the circle took one, actually,
except for her and Nayeon.

"No, I'm not." Jeongyeon sulked.

"Yes, you are." Nayeon retorted and moved to place her hands behind her girlfriend's neck.

"Whose side are you on?" Jeongyeon whined as her girlfriend blew kisses on her cheek.

"Yours, always. But I won't lie to you, baby. I'd lie for you, yes. But to you no, never."
"Jesus fucking Christ would you two mind getting a room if you're gonna keep this going?" Sana
bitched as Jihyo urged the next one to keep the game going.

"That's not a bad idea, actually." Jeongyeon whispered so only Nayeon could listen. "Wanna get
out of here?"

"Yeah and you know what? I think your dorm deserves a visit since Sana's being even more
annoying than usual."

That's one of the last good days, Jeongyeon wistfully recalled. It's like everything went to hell in a
handbasket after that. Come to think of it, she couldn't remember exactly when it all started. Nor
how, really. She usually avoided those memories, pushed them so deep into her mind that she
couldn't even find them anymore. The endless fights, the petty arguments, the misunderstandings
and all that. Now every time she thought about the past she tried to focus on the good memories
with Nayeon, not the bad ones.

But exceptionally this time, that memory did nothing to lift Jeongyeon's mood like it would've on
any other day. The bad feeling that had settled in her guts since the last time she left Nayeon's
apartment was still there. Even worse. Now added to the things she heard in Nayeon's conversation
with Sana, that's why Jeongyeon chugged all of her drink in one go, trying to replace the burn in her
chest with another kind.

I'd lie for you, yes. But to you no, never.

That's bullshit! Jeongyeon didn't know whether to be mad at herself for once believing those words
or at Nayeon for actually lying to her.

She couldn't stop wondering what part of Nayeon's words to Sana were meant for her. If she had
also played a part in all the pain Nayeon felt and if that's the real reason why they ended up like
that.

Had she not been good enough to Nayeon?

Was that why she left?

Why couldn't she just tell the fucking truth?

She could've worked on it, whatever it was, if Nayeon had only told her what was going on. They
could've tried to sort it out before their relationship fucking fell apart.

But Nayeon didn't. She didn't try. She didn't talk to her. Didn't say anything because she probably
didn't want to fix them. Because she didn't want her anymore.

And if she didn't want her, then why were they in this predicament right now?

Fuck, why the hell was thinking about it in a party? She just nedded a fucking break.

Needing some time alone, Jeongyeon eventually found her way around the second floor balcony,
the same place she met Mina months ago. But unlike last time, she ditched the floor and lay down
on one of the wooden reclining chairs. Jeongyeon felt her head spinning a little, maybe she
shouldn't be drinking like that.

You have a game tomorrow, Jeongyeon, get your shit together!

It's okay, she's fine. She watched the stars as she drank the rest of the bottle she had in hand - this
one would be her last one, she promised herself.

There were so many things happening right now that she wished her head had an off button. Well,
one other than the alcohol, of course, because last time she drank that much it hadn't worked out
really well for her.

Deep down Jeongyeon knew that she had no right to be upset with her biggest concern at that
moment: her ex-girlfriend's mother. It's not like she was entitled to know what she wanted just
because she hated that feeling of being on the sidelines.

Even when she and Nayeon were still dating, she didn't like to open up and tell her all about it.
That's a personal family matter, after all, Jeongyeon had no part in it and Nayeon only shared what
she wanted, which honestly wasn't much. And back then she respected Nayeon's choices, so she
should do the same now. She couldn't pry even when they were together, let alone now after all
this time. When they weren't even really friends anymore.

The sliding door being opened all of a sudden snapped her out of her thoughts and also scared her
in the process. The roar of loud music coming from the living room downstairs temporarily filled
the balcony before the door was closed again.

"Jesus, Nayeon!" She called out with a hand flying to her chest.

"Not Jesus I'm afraid, just Nayeon. The next best thing." She winked and Jeongyeon just looked
away. "The girls were looking for you. What are you doing out here all alone?"

"Just... chillin' a little." She raised the bottle to her lips and turned to look back to the stars.

"Right." Nayeon sat down on the floor, on the first step between the sliding glass door and the
balcony. She also had a bottle in hand, unlike her normal preference for wine. "I didn't know you
were into soju like that. Thought you liked beer better when you needed to relax."

Beer to relax, soju to forget. Of course Nayeon remembered. But the booze was really starting to
kick in, and Jeongyeon apparently forgot that she and Nayeon were technically on good terms
when she thoughtlessly replied.

"Well, you were gone for a long time, there are a lot of things you don't know about me anymore."
Damn, okay, Jeongyeon realized that she was indeed drunk. She regretted it right away and closed
her eyes shut so as not to see Nayeon's reaction. She couldn't bear to see a potentially pained look
on her face, but the dead silence that came from her was enough to let her know that that she
fucked up. The mood had changed. "I- ah, I'd better go downstairs. Like you said, the girls are
probably waiting."

She didn't want to make the same mistake again, Jeongyeon couldn't risk messing things up with
Nayeon one more time. She stood up but Nayeon was still sitting in front of the door, now hugging
her own knees and looking even smaller.

"You're avoiding me." She started quietly, staring at the floor in front of her.

"I'm just drunk, Nayeon. Nothing good ever happens when we talk while I'm drunk." She tried a
half-truth to get her out of there, but Nayeon still sat still. Made no mention of moving or making
room for Jeongyeon to leave.

"I'm just not sure if it's because of the Haengja thing or because you finally had enough of my
bullshit." She kept talking like Jeongyeon hadn't said anything. "But I knew it was coming,
anyways."
"I'm not- it's not like that."

"What is it then?"

"I don't know, you tell me." Jeongyeon should leave. She really, really should. She shouldn't have
opened that topic, she wasn't in the right mind for it. But Nayeon stood up, standing in front of the
door. Only a few inches between them as she had a height advantage since she was on top of the
steps.

"But you won't keep putting up with that for long, will you?" She went on once again ignoring
Jeongyeon's words. Like she was having a conversation with herself. A monologue, actually. And
right then, seeing the hazy look on her ex-girlfriends face, that's when Jeongyeon realized that
maybe Nayeon had also been drinking more than she should.

"I'm just waiting, Nayeon. I'm waiting for you, as we talked."

"But are you ready?" To give up on what they had now? That was probably what Nayeon meant.
To forget the comfort, the dates, the kisses and everything else they were doing to postpone the
inevitable end that awaited them. "Because I don't think I am. I don't know if I ever will be."

Fortunately Nayeon answered when faced with her silence. The word fortunately was debatable
because that response didn't ease the clench in Jeongyeon's heart. She wasn't willing to give up
those things either, why on earth was she letting a stupid meeting with Nayeon's mother rush her
like that?

Yeah, just another piece of misfortune that woman brought into their lives.

"So maybe..." Nayeon carried on as if she was drawing a conclusion. "Maybe we shouldn't keep
doing it anymore."

A cold shiver ran through the entire length of Jeongyeon's body at the mere thought. It hurt,
everything hurt. As if her body physically rejected that idea of walking away from her again.

"You're saying we should call it quits?" Her voice faltered mid-sentence. She felt like Nayeon was
breaking up with her all over again, but this time she was doing it the right way. By personally
breaking her heart.

"Maybe it'll be easier this way?" She quickly added, but still looked hesitant. "I mean, you're
literally the only thing keeping me from telling you the whole truth. At first I thought it was
because you had a right to be mad at me, but now I'm just being selfish." A watery chuckle left
Nayeon's lips and she ran her hands through her hair, growing frustrated at herself. She walked
down the last two steps, finally clearing the exit. Jeongyeon stared at the door and considered
leaving, but like a magnet her body was drawn toward the girl who was now leaning on the ledge.
"No, no, forget it. Forget this, just forget what I said. We're doing fine, let's keep going. I just need
you to wait a little longer."

It didn't make any sense to Jeongyeon, but she didn't know how to ask.

"What you told Sana today," Jeongyeon settled for that. She needed to try. "You said she needed to
be honest if she really wanted things to work."

Nayeon just hummed in response, didn't even look at her.

"Now I can't stop thinking that maybe you're not being honest with me because- because maybe
you don't want us to work?" It wasn't supposed to come out as a question but it did anyway.
Nayeon went silent for a moment despite the multiple emotions flashing across her face. Still,
Jeongyeon couldn't quite name them all.

"Yeah..." Nayeon wiped her mouth with the back of her hand after drinking the rest of the bottle in
one go. "If I'm making you even think about it like that, that's because I'm really screwing up
again."

"Is it that bad?" She asked quietly as she watched Nayeon's thoughtful profile from a safe distance.

Nayeon couldn't answer. Or didn't want to, maybe. Jeongyeon couldn't tell. She just kept staring at
the pool down there or anywhere else but the girl next to her.

"Would you ever have answered if I had tried to reach out?" Jeongyeon tried a different approach.
Finally asked something that had been bothering her for a long time now, since that conversation
she had with her friends months ago. When Jihyo, rightfully so, pretty much screamed that she
didn't try hard enough. Not in those words, of course.

"What are you talking about?" Nayeon was taken aback.

"When you left. Would you have talked to me if I had called? Or texted back, I don't know? Would
you have answered any attempt at contact if I'd made one?" She clarified.

"Why are you talking about this now?" Nayeon shook her head.

"Because lately I've been thinking a lot about all the ways I could have avoided this. If only I had
talked to you instead of freaking out, or if I had at least tried to reach out. To talk. Clear things up
even after you were gone. There's so many things I could've done."

"Don't say that." Nayeon pushed herself off the ledge to draw closer to her. "It's not your fault,
there's nothing you could've done."

"I could have fought harder for us."

"Even when I didn't?"

"Especially when you didn't!" Jeongyeon stepped forward. Unshed tears welled up in her eyes as
she tried very hard not to break. "If there's one thing I've learned from everything we've had it's that
you can't always meet in the middle. Sometimes I have to give ninety percent of myself when you
can only give ten. Just like sometimes you had to give seventy when I couldn't reach more than
thirty. And that's okay because when I gave up on us back in high school you were willing to give
one hundred percent. You offered solutions where there were only problems and yet I managed to
screw up because I was too scared. Still you were there, Nayeon, ready to fight for us when I
didn't. But unlike the first time where I managed to fix my mistake, when you left I just accepted it
because it seemed the easiest way out. So yes, I should've fought harder when you gave up. Even if
the answer had been no, at least I would've had a clear conscience knowing that I tried." She just
blurted it all out. Felt a few tears trying harder to force their way out the corner of her eyes, but she
blinked them away and pushed them back down.

"I'm not- no, Jeongyeon, this is not your fault. You couldn't- fuck, I had already made up my mind.
I'm actually glad you didn't try because that would've only made things harder for the both of us."
Stuttering and fidgeting nervously, Nayeon fumbled over her words. It was quick, very quick, but
the effect it had on Jeongyeon would probably stick with her forever.

She felt like the entire house was collapsing around her. Or maybe the world? Drifting when she
heard her first love crushing her hopes. There was no ground beneath her feet, nor the starry sky
above. All she felt was emptiness. Numb from inside out.

Into how many pieces could one's heart be shattered? Weren't there enough broken parts already?
Why did she keep putting herself through this?

"Yeah, maybe it wouldn't have changed anything back then." An ugly feeling was welling up in her
chest. The unfortunately familiar anger was probably taking the place where her heart should be.
Directed mostly at herself, to be honest, but Nayeon was standing right there so she would
probably be on the receiving end of her rage. "But at least we wouldn't be in this situation right
now. I wouldn't be such a fool to fall for it all over again."

"Fall for it?" Nayeon frowned. "I know it's messy, Jeongyeon, but I've been as honest as I could.
And you're just as deep into it as I am."

"Yes, because I-" I love you? She couldn't give her that. Especially not now. "I'm an idiot, Nayeon.
But that's okay, I think I've learned my lesson by now."

"I thought we were on the same page."

"Same page?" Jeongyeon scoffed. "I don't think we've been on the same page since long before you
went to Busan."

"Jeongyeon-"

"No, Nayeon. You're right, we can't keep doing this. Ever since you came back my head has been a
constant war between the version of you that I think I know; the one that went through all those
good and bad times with me in the past. The one that got through me, that one that made me feel
special, the one who helped me through my injury and everything else. That version that I think
loved me, but apparently this one only existed in my head."

Nayeon shook her head. "That's not true-"

"And the version I see now." She didn't let her interrupt. "The person who left me and ended a
years-long relationship over a fucking piece of paper; who chose to leave everything and everyone
behind to go after a person who clearly doesn't give a damn about her. And it doesn't matter if she's
your parent, you know. She's a fucking psycho, why the hell can't you see that? You're a grown
woman now and you still let her treat you like shit even though you promised you wouldn't let her
fool you anymore!"

Jeongyeon was panting by the time she was done sputtering it all out, but silence fell upon them as
soon as she closed her mouth. They couldn't even hear the faint music and loud conversations
downstairs anymore, it was like they were in a bubble of their own. Just the two of them, away
from the forgotten outside world.

Something had changed, Jeongyeon could tell but she had yet to pinpoint what. Nayeon's
previously apologetic expression changed to a mixture of pain and confusion as she stared at a
random spot over Jeongyeon's shoulder so she wouldn't have to look into her eyes.

"So..." Nayeon tilted her head, her frown growing even deeper. She looked a bit puzzled and
somewhat lost as well. "You remember?"

"What?" Jeongyeon was also puzzled now. Of course she remembered Nayeon's promise, it was
one of the many promises they made to each other before they came to Seoul after high school.

"Our conversation on the rooftop. You remember." It wasn't a question anymore, it was now a full
statement.

Goddammit, Jeongyeon couldn't believe she had let it slip. The one night Nayeon told Jeongyeon
that she had been with her mother during her time away was the same night which Jeongyeon
claimed not to remember due to the liquor.

"I do." She tensed up as she realized shit had hit the fan. But there was no going back now, it was
about time she should've owned up to her mistake. That's the least she could do if she wanted
Nayeon to do the same.

"Did you- did you remember after that day or did you-" She gulped.

Lie. The word she was looking for was lie. Nayeon was asking if she fucking lied to her.

"I really drank too much and I don't remember some parts of that night. But I do remember our
conversation." She didn't want to use that word.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"You can't judge me when you're doing the same thing!" Yep, the anger was still there.

"I didn't lie to you, Jeongyeon!"

"You omitted. Same difference."

"It really isn't! If I knew before I'd-"

"You would what? Tell me the whole truth? We both know you wouldn't do that, Nayeon, you've
been running from it since the day you stepped back in Seoul."

"Because it's not that easy!"

"Nothing is ever easy with you!"

"Don't you think I know that?! That's exactly why I had to leave!"

Jeongyeon shook her head, tried to push the bad thoughts away but she couldn't. She knew for sure
that she would be regretting it later, but the mix of pain, anger and the drive to hurt Nayeon back
just as bad as she was hurting now took the best of her.

"I feel so fucking stupid." She looked deep into her ex-girlfriend's eyes. Maybe her soul. "I look at
you now and I don't recognize you at all, so I can't help but feel like I've given up all of my firsts to
someone I barely know." She stepped forward and Nayeon unconsciously took a step back. "My
first kiss, my first time, my first love, all of it. I mean, I thought I had met the love of my life and
now I feel like I fell in love with a stranger." Jeongyeon's voice always broke when she lied and
that's what it did now. It faltered through her tear-filled eyes and she kept going even though she
knew it was wrong because she honestly just wanted to get it over with.

Jeongyeon was bringing to light the darkest thoughts she ever had in her most hopeless and lonely
moments. Thoughts which she swore would never hit the surface, but they were out in the world
now. It's out and she was already too deep down the rabbit hole to care.

"And I keep wondering if everything we had meant as much for you as it did for me because
sometimes I feel like I might have been fooling myself all of this time. Because when you say that I
shouldn't have fought for us I don't see the same person that I thought I fell in love with all those
years ago. You…" She narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "You're not her. You can't be."

There it was, the last blow. It was over. They're done.

"You're right." Nayeon raised her voice, didn't hesitate to fight back this time. Jeongyeon had hit a
nerve, Nayeon was just as angry now. "I'm not the same person I was back then. I'm not the same
person you fell in love with and I probably will never be her again because a lot of shit has
happened since then! Things I wish it hadn't but I can't fucking control everything! So you can get
mad, Jeongyeon. You can yell if you need to. You can take it out on me, but if there's one thing I
won't have you do, it's question my feelings for you!"

Jeongyeon couldn't tell if it was an unintentional or deliberate action, but Nayeon inched a little
closer to her with each word that came out of her mouth. All Jeongyeon could do was keep her head
high and try to hold her killing gaze.

"So you wanna know how much you mean to me?" Nayeon took another dangerous step forward,
the last one. She was now so close that Jeongyeon could feel the familiar warmth emanating from
her alcoholized body. "I may have taken all of your firsts like you said, but you've always been my
only. So I won't stand here and watch you imply that you were anything less than everything to me!
And I never- fuck, Jeongyeon." Then her fury seemed to melt altogether, even her eyes softened a
little as she added. "All I ever wanted since I left was to come back to you. That's all I could think
of while I was away because I fucking lo-"

"Don't." Jeongyeon didn't let her finish. She shook her head and took a few steps back. The air felt
too thin and that place suddenly seemed smaller. "Please just- just stop."

"Don't tell me to stop now what you've started!" Nayeon hissed back, her tone laced with rage yet
again.

"Nayeon."

"Don't Nayeon me either. You've said everything you wanted, now you have to listen to me too."

"Then tell me what I want to hear! Just get it over with!" She snapped again.

"I- I can't! I don't want it to be like this. You said it yourself that you're drunk and I don't think I'm
in my right mind either. We have to talk when we're at very least sober."

"Every time you come up with an excuse. I'm starting to believe that this conversation is never
gonna happen."

"Of course it will, I just need a little more time."

Another thick silence took over and they both started to wonder how the hell did they get there. So
much for avoiding conflict.

That's exactly why Jeongyeon was avoiding her but they ended up fighting anyway. Saying things
they can't take back just like the weeks before Nayeon left. Great.

"You were right, Nayeon. We can't keep this up." Jeongyeon blurted it out.

She almost didn't believe her own words, but one of them had to do it. Everything was falling apart
and she couldn't just stand by and watch. Not again.

A few weeks ago, whatever scrap they had felt like enough, but now she knew it wasn't. It wasn't
 like that when it came to them.

Maybe, she ruefully wondered, maybe they weren't meant to be together after all.

"Let's just go back to the way we were before that stupid deal. We don't have to be friends, we just
need to keep up appearances so Jihyo and the rest of the girls don't get all worried again."

Because living like this, without addressing the bloody elephant in the room, wasn't doing either of
them any good all in all. Besides, Jeongyeon could no longer stand by and watch Nayeon's mother
viciously treat her like shit and do nothing about it. She also didn't want to go on not knowing if
she actually had a part in all the pain Nayeon was bearing. She couldn't allow herself to keep
getting those glimpses of Nayeon, nursing the hope that she would be hers again when everything
hinted otherwise.

"Come find me again when you're ready to tell the truth."

And she left. This time Nayeon was the one who watched her walk away.

Chapter End Notes

i did warn you that 2yeon's downfall was on its way. but anyway, who's missing the
volleyball team? because they're making a special comback next chapter which name
happens to be please don't leave
 please don't leave
Chapter Summary

"Hey." That's all Jeongyeon managed to say as she stared at Nayeon's back. She was
afraid, that's the truth. Didn't know how to ask Nayeon for what she needed.

"Do you wanna talk?" But that's the thing, she didn't need to ask. Nayeon always knew
what she needed even better than she did herself, so it wouldn't be different this time.

"No. Not really." She felt like looking away but kept her gaze fixed on the girl in front
of her.

"Okay." Only then Nayeon turned around. Her careful gaze regarded Jeongyeon with a
tenderness she didn't believe she deserved. "Come with me."

Chapter Notes

brace yourselves again, this is going to be a long ride

See the end of the chapter for more notes

If you ask Jeongyeon how she found herself in this position she wouldn't be able to tell. One day
she was seeking comfort in Nayeon's arms and then suddenly she was walking away from her.
Leaving Nayeon behind after yet another ugly argument which she wasn't even sure how it started.

She felt like she was having a terrible deja vu.

Just like fucking old times, except that now this thought didn't provide any solace as it once did.

Maybe this was just another sign that things between them could never stay good for too long. A
sign that they had already tried and failed once again. A sign that there was no point in barking up
the wrong tree. That love alone wasn't enough and that their relationship was bound to collapse all
over again.

Or maybe the sign in question was that she was a huge idiot. Whatever.

Anyway, Jeongyeon finally decided to get up after an endless night of tossing and turning in bed.
She barely managed to get two hours of sleep, her brain refusing to stop long enough for her to get
any rest. Not that she wanted to think about the fight they had the night before. No, quite the
opposite, she did everything she could to avoid that matter.

She tried to keep herself busy so her mind wouldn't wonder too much. Jeongyeon went over a few
pages of a book, played a couple of games, caught an episode of a TV show she was trying to keep
up with and even watched half a movie. But no, it didn't work. Nothing would, she already knew.
Nothing could entertain her for more than a few minutes without her mind drifting back to her.

Jeongyeon headed to a long shower as soon as she got up. Then she tidied up her bedroom and even
cleaned up the mess Momo and Dahyun had made in the living room a couple of days ago. Her
roommate had stayed over at the Beach House to spend the night with her girlfriend and she had
yet to come back. So in order to keep her mind busy until the game they'd have later, Jeongyeon
went as far as to clean Momo's bedroom as well. But she finished all the chores she could do
within the house soon enough. There was only so much she could do in a small apartment like
theirs.

So after finishing all of that she still set off to do her fucking homework. She had one last paper
due before the end of the term so that's where she put all her energy on. The apartment was starting
to suffocate her and Momo would probably be back home being her loud self soon enough, so she
made her way to the library after lunch and buried herself - both figuratively and literally - behind
the books. Nothing could stop her when she had nervous energy to burn off.

But later that afternoon, right when she was about to wrap up the last proofreading, she got a very
odd text message. She had avoided her phone all day, only answering Jihyo and Sana a couple of
times, but that particular text managed to get her attention anyway.

[04:55 pm] Unknown Number: Jeongyeonie, I really need your help! Can you meet me in the lab?
I think I fucked up. Please don't tell anyone

Eh? She frowned as she re-read the text a few times through the notification bar. The fact that she
didn't have that number saved set her off a little, but when she actually opened the text she found a
selfie of Chaeyoung and Tzuyu as the contact photo. She figured that one of them had probably
changed numbers, but who was more likely to get in trouble between the two of them?

[04:59 pm] Yoo(r) #1: Chaeyoung?

[05:00 pm] Unknown Number: Please hurry up. We can't be late for the game

[05:00 pm] Unknown Number: And don't tell anyone! I can't bring anyone else into this

[05:00 pm] Side door is open

Yikes. What kind of mess had Chaeyoung gotten herself into??

A mess that couldn't have any other witnesses, to top it all off? Jesus fucking Christs, children there
days.

[05:00 pm] Yoo(r): omw

The goalkeeper sighed heavily as she locked her phone. She saved her work, logged off from the
library computer and made her way to the other building trying not to wonder too much about what
the hell Chaeyoung could have done. The labs weren't supposed to be open after two pm on
Saturdays and it was already past five so what the hell was she still doing there??

She had probably blown something up at the very least. Or worse, what if she had blown someone
up?

If she needed help to hide a body maybe she should've let Jeongyeon call someone else in since
Chaeyoung was too small to provide much help herself. The college hallways were always far less
crowded on Saturdays, especially now that the test weeks were finally over. At least this way it'd
be easier to drag the body around and- oh, Jeongyeon halted mid-thought. Maybe she shouldn't be
joking too much about it since Chaeyoung could have in fact blown up an entire human being...
Jeongyeon had no doubt that that's something she would actually do.
Nevertheless, they had a little over an hour before they had to report back to the locker room for
tonight's match, so they'd better hurry if they didn't want to get scolded.

"Chaeng?" Jeongyeon called out as she walked into the lab. She roamed around the classroom
looking for the other girl but she didn't see anyone else there. "Chaeng?? You're here?" She called
out louder, strolling to the small supply closet at the back of the room. "Chaeyoung, seriously,
where are you??"

Finding no one, she fished for her phone to call Chaeyoung but noticed that the phone had no
service. Oh, that's right. Mina and Chaeyoung were always complaining about it. There was no
reception inside the labs and of course Chaeyoung even had a whole conspiracy theory about this
being malicious planned by the faculty.

According to her, the lack of phone service got the students to depend on the building's dreadful
wifi connection which only worked in a few hallways. Therefore the students had nothing to do but
pay attention to the stupid lectures - Chaeyoung's words, not hers.

With that in mind, Jeongyeon left the supply closet planning to browse the area and look for the
wifi, but as soon as she walked back into the lab she quickly realized that she wasn't alone
anymore.

"Fuck, are you trying to scare me to death?" She brought a hand to her chest, being startled by the
girl sitting cross-legged on the teacher's desk.

"Do I look like a mirror?"

"I don't know but I thought the staff put the lab rats away after hours. What are you doing here?"
Jeongyeon looked annoyed as she retorted and placed her hands on her hips.

"If that's the case you wouldn't be here right now, would you?" The other girl shot back all the way
across the room.

"What are you doing here?" Jeongyeon repeated. Her features hardened as a flash of realization hit
her, getting her worried.

This couldn't be a good sign. Chaeyoung asked to meet her in the lab and she also said she was in
trouble. So if this girl was here too she must have had something to do with it, didn't she? Fuck it,
if she had touched one hair on Chaeyoung's head, Jeongyeon wouldn't give a damn about any
potential punishment anymore.

"What the hell did you do to Chaeyoung?" She gritted her teeth as rage started to rise up in her
chest. The high-pitched mocking laugh coming from the other girl did nothing to ease her mood
either. "Jennie, I swear to God, if you don't tell me where she is-"

"You really are stupid, aren't you?" She cut her off. "Honestly, when my girls pitched this idea I
didn't think it'd actually be so easy. But of course you'd come running to help your little friend in
trouble, just as you wasted no time in getting your other jerk of a friend out of that party."

"You mean my jerk of a friend who dumped your ass and bruised your ego?" The goalkeeper fired
back.

"You're not in a position to make jokes here, goalie. If I were you I'd be nice to me so I have
someone pick you up tomorrow if I'm in a good mood." Jennie was still sitting with one hand on
either side of her thighs, gripping on the edge of the desk and kicking her legs as she talked in a
horribly perky fashion.
"What? Pick me up? Why on earth would I go anywhere with you?" She frowned even deeper, not
quite understanding what was going on.

"Oh, you're not. That's exactly the point. You're not going anywhere for a while."

"Whatever you think you're doing isn't going to stop me from helping Chaeyoung. I'm only going
to ask you one more time, Jennie. Where. Is. She?" Jeongyeon's hands clenched into fists, her
fingernails digging into her palms.

"I don't know, okay? Probably after snow white or whatever dwarves are up to these days."

A wicked smirk broke out on the captain's face and it made Jeongyeon want to join Jihyo and
Mina's little club, but Jennie jumped to her feet and headed straight for the door.

"Look, I'm not gonna lie, I had fun that day at the party, you know? Seeing you get all worked up
when I called you a coward was rewarding, but I'm pretty sure this will be much more fun." She
leaned against the threshold and glared at Jeongyeon from afar. "Because making fun of your flaws
is cool, but when it comes to your alleged virtues it's way, way better."

Jeongyeon uncomfortably crossed her arms, bracing herself even tighter as a shiver went through
her body. How the hell did the conversation get there? She just wanted to help Chaeyoung and
head to the goddamn game.

"You think you're noble or whatever but you're actually just dumb, you know? When it comes to
your friends you're dependable to a fault. It's kind of sad to watch really, but I hope you remember
this later on. That your naïveté put you in this position and that's why you deserve exactly what
you're getting."

"My... what? Put me in what position? What are you talking about?" She tried to look unaffected
but Jennie was making her feel uneasy. It was weird how this girl could affect Jeongyeon like that,
but she couldn't help it.

"I mean, you get a text from an unknown number asking you to go to an empty place and you just
go? Without checking first? Without telling anyone either? Gee, Jeongyeonie, I really hope I'm
teaching you a lesson here. You're lucky it's just me this time but you can even thank me later."

Hold on. Jeongyeonie?

Oh no, wait- it wasn't Chaeyoung, was it?

"I'm leaving." She said and took a couple of hesitant steps toward the door. Exactly where Jennie
was.

"Uh, I'm afraid that's not gonna happen tonight." The captain shot back. Jennie also took a step
back, standing just outside the classroom.

That's when Jeongyeon finally got a grasp of what was happening, but did she move? No, she
didn't. She froze, felt like her feet were glued to the ground. Jennie was holding the doorknob with
her bad intentions written all over her face. Jeongyeon could have tried and made a run for it. She
probably should have, actually, but what's the point? Embarrass herself in front of her? Give her a
taste of seeing her desperate and humiliated? No, she wouldn't.

"Jennie-" Jeongyeon did try to reason but the other girl wouldn't let her.

"And since you weren't any nice, I don't know if I'll get you out of here tomorrow, but on Monday
someone is bound to show up here for classes so all you have to do is wait. Maybe it's better this
way. Symbolic, even. One day for each one of your girlfriends."

"But I don't-"

"Do me a favor and tell those two bitches that we're even now, alright? Good night, Jeongyeonie,
and I'd try to get as comfortable as possible if I were you. You're gonna be here for a while."

With that Jennie closed the door and locked it from outside. And Jeongyeon just stood there,
standing in the middle of the classroom and feeling like every muscle in her body was frozen. It
still took her a few seconds to assimilate what had happened.

"Fuck." Jeongyeon exclaimed to no one. She was alone.

She was stuck in a classroom on a Saturday and with no phone service. A fucking college
classroom on a Saturday after hours, to make it even worse. A Saturday where she was supposed to
attend a bloody game against a rival in a couple of hours. On a goddamn Saturday, did she mention
the Saturday part? Saturday, meaning there was no one there on Sunday. No phone service.
Saturday. Fucking college.

That's how her brain was working- or not working, actually.

After the first shock wore off and she was finally able to move again, she tried to force the door
open for a while and spent a good few minutes knocking in the hopes that someone would hear her
from the other side. The lab was underground so the windows at the very top of the walls were too
small. Jeongyeon even tried to climb up on some desks to try and see something through there but
it was hopeless.

Shit. She even grabbed her phone again and wandered around the room hoping for a single second
of service or wifi or fucking anything, but that didn't work either.

Damn her for walking into that godamed classroom and damn Jennie even more for pulling all that
shit. Damn the fucking volleyball team for even existing and damn her bloody life as well! It was
all a living hell!

Jeongyeon tried to calm down and come up with a plan to get her out of there but there was nothing
she could do. She even considered throwing a chair at the door or something like that but A, the
door was made of metal and B, she didn't want to add attempted property damage to her list of
problems.

After a couple of hours she finally gave up. There was no point in trying, all she could do was wait.
One day. Maybe two? Fuck. Maybe her friends would look for her earlier than that, wouldn't they?
But well, it's not like they knew where she was anyway.

Dammit, she couldn't even imagine how worried Jihyo would be. And Momo- holy shit, what'd she
do when Jeongyeon didn't come home before their supposed midnight curfew?? And what about
Coach? Fuck, Bae would definitely kill her!

And that's how Jeongyeon found herself drowning in thoughts about other people. It was easier to
try to imagine what others would be feeling or thinking than to be left alone and spiraling with her
own stupid thoughts. The ones that hadn't been kind to her at all. Not that she didn't deserve it. Of
course she did, but that wasn't the point.

The point was that with each passing hour her thoughts drifted closer and closer to her again.
Jeongyeon didn't even try to sleep, she knew she wouldn't be able to doze off even though she
hadn't gotten any rest the night before. But leaning against one of the walls with her backpack on
her lap and her phone in her hands, Jeongyeon found herself staring at a picture.

The selfie which had been sent to the team's group chat the day they had broken into the volleyball
team's dorm. That was probably the very incident that caused her current punishment, but she
didn't find it in herself to hold any kind of grudge over it.

She had saved it without giving it much thought and it was now the only picture of her ex-
girlfriend she had on her phone. Her mind automatically drifted back to the month after their
breakup when Jeongyeon deleted every single picture she had with Nayeon feeling the overflowing
sadness pouring through her chest. She also took down all the polaroids off the walls and scraped
every trace of Nayeon that existed within both her college dorm and her childhood room back
home. All that without shedding a single tear, which wasn't the case this time. She couldn't pretend
to be strong any longer.

Because trapped in that place, alone and overwhelmed and beyond fucking hope, Jeongyeon finally
gave in and let herself cry for real. And the place she was talking about wasn't even just the floor of
that lab.

That's when her phone died in her hands and Nayeon's picture faded away from the screen.
Vanished. It was gone. Just like Nayeon did over a year ago.

She hadn't shed a single tear over Nayeon since reading the letter after that night on the rooftop. At
least not until now. And it was only when sobbing alone in that classroom that the weight of the
past few months really hit her all at once.

Damn, Nayeon was back. She really was, it was real. She wasn't dreaming, not that time.

Nayeon was really there.

And they fought, and they figured it out - well, sort of - and then they kissed. They kepting kissing
and just kissing, not talking though, but it didn't matter. They were apart and they were together, all
in a matter of weeks.

They spent months meeting behind their friends' backs, relapsing over and over again. Just
enjoying each other's comforting touches and familiar scents and addictive tastes. And then just
when Jeongyeon got turned into a fiend again, she went there and ruined everything. She blew it
again way before their real expiration date.

Jeongyeon regretted nearly everything she had said to Nayeon the night before. She didn't even
know where some of those things had come from.

Implying that Nayeon was leading her on was low enough, but acting as if Nayeon wasn't a victim
when it came to her mother was even worse.

Yes, Nayeon did play a big role in this whole mess, it was true. Nayeon had been hiding things
from Jeongyeon; Nayeon had suggested that stalling arrangement between them; Nayeon had
avoided the issues just as much as she had. However, all in all, Nayeon had also been the most
candid between the two of them.

She more than once asserted her feelings for Jeongyeon even though it was hard for her to believe.
Even if it was midst fights or in the spur of the moment, that's already a lot more than Jeongyeon
had been able to admit even to herself.
While Jeongyeon lied about the rooftop and said awful things to Nayeon with the sole purpose of
hurting her. Went as far as mentioning the abusive relationship in which her mother had kept her
since she was a child as if it was her fault. Tried to make her ex-girlfriend feel just as broken as she
did.

But why? Just because Nayeon was as honest as she asked her to be??

Yes, she was hurt. Nayeon had hurt her even more that night. And the worst part was that she had
done nothing but what Jeongyeon asked: she told the truth for a change. Even if that came in the
form of Nayeon saying that she didn't want Jeongyeon to have fought for them.

She wanted so badly for her ex-girlfriend to be truthful and when she finally was, that's what she
got in return. Hostility. Viciousness. Venomous and inconsequential words. No, no amount of pain
could justify treating her like that.

She never wished she could take something back as much as she wished she could erase last night.
Of all the things she ever wanted to change including letting Nayeon go so easily all those months,
she would still choose to change the words she had sputtered the night before.

Because when Nayeon left at least she didn't see it. She didn't have to watch her go. Jeongyeon
could never describe it as painless by any means, but it sure was swift. Quick and clean. A solid
wound.

But she'd never forget the way Nayeon looked at her this time. It's something that'd be stuck in her
memory forever. The regret Jeongyeon felt for making Nayeon feel that way would hunt and hurt
her until her last day as well.

If the roles were reversed, she thought, if Nayeon had said similar things to her at some point... if
Nayeon had looked into her eyes and tried to hurt her as she did, that probably would've made
Jeongyeon move on faster.

Because it was the idea of that Nayeon, her Nayeon; the Nayeon she loved and the Nayeon who
loved her back; the Nayeon who wanted her well and who would always take care of her; the
Nayeon who would never treat her wrong or deliberately hurt her. The memory of this Nayeon it's
what kept her pinned onto her for so long. That's the Nayeon she couldn't and wouldn't let go of.

So maybe it was similar to Nayeon in some way. Perhaps that's exactly the point. Maybe Nayeon
believed she still had feelings for Jeongyeon because she was still clinging to the memory of the
person she had fallen in love with all those years ago.

The Jeongyeon who cared for her instead of trying to hurt her; the one who would never take her
frustration or anger out on her; the one who understood her silent moments and gave her the space
she needed instead of pressuring her. Not that new desperate version who acted recklessly and
irresponsibly, willfully spitting out harsh and sharp words at her like stones.

Yeah, maybe they finally came full cycle. They reached the point of no return, where one of them
was too wounded to go back. The point Jeongyeon had so often imagined, but in her mind the roles
would be reversed. That moment that had lived in the back of her mind ever since Nayeon came
back.

Except that before she believed that whichever revelation Nayeon had for her would be the thing
that would finally put an end to the invisible bond that still connected them to one another. It would
be the fuse, the final trigger to put an end to everything. But only now she realized that she didn't
need a big disclosure from the other girl, her own spiteful words had already put an end to it all.
The spell was finally broken. Or at least on Nayeon's side.

Way to go, Jeongyeon. Congratulations! You've managed to fucking lose her again.

And yet it's still way sooner than expected.

Even though she knew that at some point it would happen, she thought that when the day came she
would at least be prepared.

Yeah, like she would ever be ready for that.

But then the door to the lab was opened and a familiar face walked in. Jeongyeon didn't know how
much time had passed, she had turned off her consciousness a long time ago.

"Damn it, Jeongyeon! I'm so sorry, are you okay?" The volleyball player stepped inside. She
looked worried but stopped a little after the doorway when she noticed Jeongyeon curled up in the
back of the classroom. "I'm really, really sorry! I came as soon as I heard!"

It's Sejeong.

Jeongyeon didn't answer, she couldn't even if she tried. In a fully automatic motion she just stood
up, put her backpack on and started walking towards the exit. Her shoulder bumped into Sejeong
as she brushed past her, but it was very lightly and not intentional at all. The goalkeeper just felt
like had lost all the concept of space. She felt numb. Empty and thoroughly exhausted.

Maybe it was nothing but a hallucination caused by her lack of sleep, but even if it was she didn't
want to waste any time. If she was in fact just being delirious, she wanted to be delirious in the
comfort of her bed. But she heard footsteps trailing her down the hall along with a worried voice
babbling right behind her.

"Holy shit, Jihyo must be freaking out! I mean, I haven't told her yet. We haven't spoken since the
game and I only found out about it this morning when I saw the girls joking about in the group
chat. I probably should've called Hyo first, but I came straight here to make sure it was true. And I
didn't know that they were going to do that, Jeongyeon, I swear I had nothing to do with it. Please
tell Jihyo that-"

They were about to walk out the building when Sejeong's speech was interrupted. She was cut off
by Jeongyeon coming to a halt all of a sudden, causing the volleyball player to bump right into her
back. Sejeong was already mumbling hurried apologies when Jeongyeon turned around with an icy
stare and atypically bleak eyes.

"You tell her." Jeongyeon had to stop and wet her lips in order to finish. Her mouth was dry and her
voice was hoarse, it was the first thing she had uttered in who knew how long. "Tell her that I'll
end her."

She didn't need to elaborate for her to know exactly who she was talking about. Not even Sejoeng's
startled countenance woke up the goalkeeper's sympathy at that moment. In her numb state she
didn't find it in herself to care.

Deep down she knew it wasn't Sejeong's fault at all, but she was there, right there, she was the only
one of them who was close. And Jeongyeon always had a problem with lashing out at whoever was
closest to her, even if this time she still managed to tone it down a bit. Still, she didn't apologize or
even say she would pass the message on to Jihyo, she just turned around and left the building
leaving her best friend's girlfriend behind.
She didn't even know where it all came from, all she knew was that she hated Jennie and she really
wished she could ruin her indeed. She hated her even more for forcing her to be alone with her
thoughts and for all the realizations it brought her. She really wanted to destroy her, to tear her
apart even though she knew that wouldn't happen.

Anyone who could see her walking down the street now would probably think she was just
wandering around aimlessly. Like a zombie years into the apocalypse with erratic steps and lost
gaze.

She knew it was Sunday morning although she didn't know the exact time, but it didn't seem too
early since there were many people hanging around the campus. Walking their dogs, doing their
morning exercises and having brunches in the nearby bustling coffee shops.

Meanwhile, Jeongyeon's mind was clouded. She felt like it was crowded and empty at the same
time. The only thing she was sure of was that she was drained. Dead tired. And she really, really
needed to make it home.

To make matters even worse, a rainstorm began to fall as soon as she reached her block. She didn't
have the energy to run, but at least she didn't get so wet until she reached her apartment building.
Five damn floors still separated her from the warm bed she wanted to crawl into, but as soon as she
opened the door to her apartment she found three girls in her living room. Like time had frozen for
a few seconds, the three of them looked at Jeongyeon as if she were a miracle.

Mina was leaning against the countertop with her arms tightly crossed against her chest and a
distraught expression on her face. Dahyun was on the couch, paler than ever. And Momo was
standing in the middle of the room, apparently pacing until the door was opened. The latter was
also the first to react. She stomped toward Jeongyeon and threw her arms around her roommate in a
tight hug. It lasted less than five seconds because right after that Momo let go of her and proceeded
to slap her arm.

"Where. The. Hell. Have. You. Been?" Momo stressed each word with another halfhearted smack.
Nothing that would actually hurt, all very Momo-like. Jeongyeon tried to protect herself as the
other two girls drew closer.

"Babe." Dahyun called out but Momo ignored.

"Why the fuck didn't you answer your phone?" She just kept going with her teary eyes and
unmistakably choked voice.

"Momoring." Mina tried as well but to no avail.

"We were worried sick about you, Jeongyeon! You could have at least-"

"Momo." Her girlfriend's voice was now calling her by her name, which rarely happened so it
finally made her stop. Dahyun was right behind her, holding her by the waist and gently pulling her
away so that she'd give room for Jeongyeon to actually walk into the apartment.

Momo's despair had taken the best of her so she didn't notice how troubled Jeongyeon really was.
Mina and Dahyun, on the other hand, couldn't help but notice. Whether it was because of the dark
circles under her eyes, her deeply flushed cheeks or her atypical defeated posture. Maybe by the
single stray tear that rolled down her face when she got home or by the way her feet were dragging
instead of actually walking.

Mina took it upon herself to help the goalkeeper, slipping one of her arms around her back to lead
her over the nearest couch.

"What happened?" After settling in, Mina was wise enough to ask the right question. If she had
asked if Jeongyeon was okay she would probably break right away.

"The volleyball team happened." Jeongyeon sighed.

Momo muttered some unkind words in japanese under her breath and the goalkeeper heard Dahyun
swearing for the first time since they met. Mina held Jeongyeon's hand throughout the rants and
waited for everyone to calm down a bit before continuing.

"What did they do?" Jeongyeon took a deep breath before speaking.

"To sum it up, yesterday I got a text that was supposedly from Chaeyoung. It said that she had
gotten into trouble and that she needed my help in the lab. So I went over to help, but when I got
there Chaeyoung wasn't there, Jennie was. She locked me in and left so I spent the night trapped
there."

"Shit, there's no service inside the labs." Mina mused aloud.

"Exactly." Jeongyeon leaned forward to prop her elbows on her knees and place her face between
her hands as she rubbed her tired eyes in an attempt to ease the killer headache she was feeling.
"Your daily nuisance became my nightmare for a night. I had no other way to ask for help."

"We have to call the rest of the girls, they must be freaking out at this point." Mina remembered as
she caressed Jeongyeon's back. She didn't want to get out of there and Dahyun caught on to that.

"I got it." Dahyun made her way to Momo's bedroom with her phone in hand.

"Are they okay?"

"Are they okay?? Damn it, Jeongyeon, we're the ones who should ask you that." Momo sat down
by her other side. Jeongyeon stopped rubbing her eyes to lean back on the couch. "Nayeon, Sana
and Jihyo have been looking for you all night. Mina was out there too, she just got back. But
Dahyun and I stayed here in case you came back."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you guys." The apology slipped out of her lips before she could
help it.

"It's not your fault." Mina tried to soothe her.

"Well, it was. I was so stupid. The number who texted me wasn't even Chaeyoung's. I just thought
she had changed numbers because the contact had a picture of her with Tzuyu. I should've called to
make sure it was her or I should've told someone else at the very least."

"No, don't even get started. You're not going to beat yourself up about it. We're only going to blame
one person here and you know who it is." Momo demanded. It wasn't a suggestion, her voice was
so sharp that it sounded like an order. And she also placed hand over Jeongyeon's knee, tugging
gently as if she was trying to pass on some consolation.

Still, Jennie's words echoed in her mind. It was ridiculous how much she let that girl get under her
skin.

"They're already on their way." Dahyun reported as she walked back into the living room.
"Apparently someone had already told Jihyo? I don't know, they were loud and I still didn't get it
right."

"You guys really have been looking for me all night?"

"Of course, Jeongyeon! You were missing." Dahyun answered as if it's obvious.

"We started to get worried when you didn't show up for the game. It was weird since you've never
missed a match before. Even when you were suspended or when you weren't feeling well enough
to play you'd still show up to cheer us on." Momo explained. "We called you a lot of times but it
went straight to voicemail. And we canceled the party since no one was in the mood to celebrate.
Then Dahyun and I came home but you weren't here either-"

"How did the game go?" She couldn't help but worry about that too.

"It was a draw. It wasn't too bad, but it wasn't great either. What matters was that there was no
ruckus this time. Which was great because Jihyo, well, she... you know how she gets when she's
worried. The staff even withdrew Sana's suspension and put her in to play as a makeshift defender
for Jihyo in the second half. Oh, and Coach Bae was really mad at you, but we didn't know what
was going on so we couldn't really help."

"Fuck." She groaned.

"Yeah. I even tried to come up with a last minute excuse, but I don't know if she bought it. We'll
have to think more carefully about how we're gonna handle her later."

One more thing to worry about: Coach Bae. How many burpees Jeongyeon would have to pay to
be forgiven after missing a game? Would Bae even let her play any more games that season?
Coach's wrath could bring so many different consequences.

"And after the game..." As Jeongyeon wandered off about her possible punishments, Momo
awkwardly cleared her throat as if she was trying to delay what's coming next. "Nayeon told us that
you two had a... uh, disagreement At the party." Oh. Jeongyeon turned back to her roommate.

"She didn't really elaborate on what it was about." Mina who came to Momo's rescue. "But she had
to tell us, you know. You were gone and Jihyo was about to freak out. At first we thought that you
just needed some time off so we agreed to wait a few hours. We went back to our places and
waited for Momo to report back in case you came home."

"Nayeon went looking for you at the place she found you the last time you disappeared. Where it
used to be your spot or whatever. You guys never really told us where it is." The rooftop. Okay, it
made sense. Jeongyeon would probably have dropped by over there that night instead of going to
the party if she hadn't been fucking locked away. "But well, she didn't find you there either, so
Dahyun and I were supposed to tell the other as soon as you got home. But then it started to get late
and you still hadn't returned, so..."

"You hadn't texted or called, didn't even leave a note." Dahyun carried on. "So we waited a bit
longer and then we told the girls we didn't think you were coming back anytime soon. They were
all awake, of course, waiting for news. That's when we started to freak out and the girls went off
looking for you. They split up to look for you in the places we thought you might be. The bars we
usually hang out at and even the nearby clubs just to make sure. The field and other places around
the campus. Pretty much everything we could think of."

"It was pretty intense." Momo thoughtfully added. "After a few hours Jihyo wanted to call your
parents to check if you had gone back home, because that's what you did when... well, you know."
Yes, she knew. Unfortunately. A couple of weeks after Nayeon left, in a spur of the moment,
Jeongyeon took a bus and went home all by herself, without telling anyone. The break was almost
upon them anyway, but still, she couldn't wait another day to get rid of all the traces of Nayeon out
of her childhood bedroom. She wasn't proud of it but there was nothing she could do now.

"She called them??" The thought that her family might also be worried about her even though they
were miles away made her heart clench even harder.

"No. We decided to wait until today to take more drastic measures. Twenty-four hours, you know."
Momo soothed her. "We kept trying to keep in mind that maybe you just needed some time alone."

"Good. That's a relief." Jeongyeon breathed a sigh of relief and thanked whatever superior being
who had kept this from happening.

"Thank Sana for being the voice of wisdom for a change. She really held it together for all of us
last night." Okay, so the superior being in question happened to be Sana? Fair enough. "Jihyo was
already dialing their number when Sana managed to convince her to wait a little longer. She didn't
want them to worry if they noticed that something was wrong. And then Nayeon wanted to drive
back to your hometown herself, but Sana wouldn't let her do it either."

"Remind me to thank her later."

"I'm sure she'll be doing it herself when she's telling everyone all about how she was the hero of
the story at our next party." That drew a brief laugh out of Jeongyeon.

"But hey, how are you feeling? Is there anything we can do?" Mina held her hand between hers
again.

"Well, I need to take a shower. I got a little wet my way here and my whole body is aching for
some reason." She admitted, letting her body relax further on the couch.

"Did you get any sleep?" Momo asked. Her appearance alone should be enough to answer that
question, but she replied anyway.

"Nope. Not even for a second."

"Then you gotta rest." Her roommate was up and making her way to the kitchen. "But I'll fix you
something to eat first, you must be starving."

"I'm going to take a shower in the meantime." It was hard to leave the warmth of Mina's hold, but
she needed to get up to her feet.

Jeongyeon tried to hide the way that simple act threw her off balance, but she wasn't sure if she
succeeded because she made her way down the hallway without looking back. Jeongyeon left the
three of them behind chatting over whispers and dropped by her bedroom to grab a clean piece of
clothing before heading to the bathroom.

She stepped into the shower and let the water wash her soul. The steaming water mercilessly
burned her skin, but it was nice to feel something other than the burnout of the past couple of days.
Jeongyeon hoped that the steam would take away her fatigue, both physical and mental, even
though she knew it was impossible. But she still hoped nevertheless, because she could no longer
stand to feel so many things at the same time. Regret, anger, resentment, hatred. Even things she
couldn't even begin to name, but she knew they were there.

The main one at that moment was anger, and mostly at herself for being caught in the trap. But
also towards Jennie and the rest of her dirty group, of course. Jeongyeon knew pretty well that
that's the way they always worked, an everlasting tug-of-war, give and take or whatever. But was
that really necessary? The soccer team had never made any of them lose a game, at least. It was a
matter of respect.

As Momo said, Coach Bae was pissed at her. Heck, she probably wanted to kill Jeongyeon right
now. Okay, not kill her, but maybe bench the fuck out of her. And the worst part was that
Jeongyeon would've to try to defend herself without implicating the volleyball team in the whole
mess because if Bae actually believed her and by any chance wanted to confront them about it,
Jennie would definitely tell her that they were just striking back after they broke into their house.
And since neither of them would be able to prove either of those things they would all be getting
into trouble. Besides, the soccer team was qualified for the playoffs, so they had way too much at
stake right now. Couldn't afford to lose anymore players suspended over a fucking petty fight.

And then there was Nayeon. Goddammit, Nayeon.

If Jeongyeon were to bring that topic up she would end up crying even more and that's the last
thing she needed right now. So no thinking about Nayeon for now, she decided.

After a long time in the shower she finally mustered up the courage to go outside. She heard
muffled conversations on the other side of the door as she was getting dressed, which probably
meant that the rest of the girls had arrived as well.

She did her best to dry her hair with a towel, then she stared at her reflection in the mirror as she
gripped tightly into the sink with both of her hands. The dark circles under her eyes were deeper
than ever, but going two days without any sleep could do this kind of thing to you. And well,
bawling your eyes out too.

Jeongyeon took a deep breath and told her herself to suck it up and go outside. There were people
waiting for her. People who would help her solve all of these problems. People who she loved and
who cared about her enough to be there. They were also the people she needed most right now.

The steam that had been accumulating inside the bathroom almost filled the entire hallway once
she opened the door. Wearing a comfortable pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt with a towel
hanging over her shoulder, Jeongyeon opened the bathroom door and took small steps as she
listened to the several voices growing louder and louder in the living room.

"I'm pretty sure it fits some kind of felony, doesn't it? Kidnapping or maybe false imprisonment, I
don't know! Momo, back me up here!"

"But we broke into their house just a few months ago, Cap. Last time I checked, trespassing's also
a crime."

"Whatever, Sana, that's not the fucking point!"

"What I'm trying to say is that-"

"I don't care! That's not the kind of energy I need right now!"

"How about we don't focus on that right now? We should be thinking about how we're going to
explain Jeong's absence to Coach Bae."

"Momo's right. She was pretty mad last night, we gotta come up with something good."

"We're not going to lie! Just tell her the truth! That those bitches locked her in and-"
"Sure, Cap, then what are we going to do when they claim that it was just retaliation for what we
did at their dorm? That is, supposing that they won't just deny it to try to make us look like the
crazy ones for alleging such things without any proof."

"But they can't prove that we did it."

"Just like we can't prove that they did it either, babe."

"What about the cameras? I can't believe that the whole fucking building has no cameras at all.
Mina, what do you know?"

"Well, yeah, there's a few. At the entrance and the main hallways, but I don't know if that's going to
prove anything. The building also has an unmonitored side exit. The students usually smoke there, I
doubt Jennie doesn't know about it."

"What about security guards? Also, shouldn't the janitor have double checked?"

"He must have done it at two pm before he left. No one was supposed to go in there after that."

"Let's think about it for a second. Jennie managed to get the keys to open the building on a fucking
Saturday after hours when even the students who actually study there aren't allowed to go in
without supervision She must have an accomplice in the administration. I'm pretty sure she thought
it all through."

"Great, that motherfucker manage to pull the perfect fucking crime."

"Guys, chill out. We can think about all this later. Right now we're sleep deprived and the
adrenaline is still running high, but we'll figure it out. All we can do now is make sure Jeongyeon
is okay."

"Uh, um. Hi." Jeongyeon made her presence known as soon as she reached the end of the hall. She
stood there, still, watching all heads turning to her.

The first person Jeongyeon noticed was Nayeon. Typical. She was sitting on the armchair by the
corner of the living room with her arms crossed, face flushed and nervously bouncing her leg. The
distress in her eyes shifted from apprehension to relief as soon as she made eye contact with
Jeongyeon, who also breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Nayeon there. Because when she
didn't hear her ex-girlfriend's voice amidst that minor argument she had come to think that Nayeon
wasn't there, and that mere prospect alone was enough to terrify her.

Sana and Jihyo were also there, sitting together on the smaller couch and both of them jumped up
to their feet upon seeing Jeongyeon. Jihyo literally leaped over the other couch to get to her best
friend faster and launched herself at Jeongyeon. The crash sent her taking a couple of steps back to
keep her balance, but she hugged her back just as tight. It wasn't long before Sana popped up and
wrapped her arms around both of them, not willing to wait until Jihyo's time was up to get her turn.

"That's your strike two, Yoo. You're strictly forbidden from leaving me with a Jeong-deprived Park
Jihyo ever again. This woman drives me crazy, Jeongyeon, thoroughly mad." Sana pointed out
after letting her go. She also patted her shoulder and the goalkeeper couldn't help but giggle.

Jihyo even tried to nudge Sana, but she hadn't let go of the embrace yet and that's when Jeongyeon
noticed that her sweatshirt was getting wet where the captain's face was still meeting her shoulder.

"No no, don't cry, Ji. Please don't." Jeongyeon tried to soothe her by caressing her back.
"I'm just glad you're here." She replied mid-sob.

"Of course I'm here. Where the hell would I go without you?" Then the goalkeeper placed her
hands on Jihyo's shoulders to pull her away and take a good look at her. Jeongyeon wiped her tears
away and then guided her friend to the couch. Her legs were feeling heavy, she needed to sit down.

Momo and Dahyun weren't in the living room anymore, but after a quick glance at the countertop
she noticed that Momo was sticking to her promise to cook something. Dahyun, as always, kept her
company over there. Sana took a seat next to Mina and Nayeon was still in the same place as
before. Immobile.

"So..." She felt awkward with all eyes on her. "What a night, huh?"

The silence that came after lasted no more than five seconds before most of them started speaking
at the same time. An explosion of threats to the volleyball team, questions about what exactly
happened in the "outside world" - Jeongyeon's words - after they realized she was missing, more
details about how Jeongyeon's night stuck in the lab was like, and also further elaboration about
the "search and seizure" mission - also Jeongyeon's words - of the rest of the girls around campus.

"Two days?!" Sana was outraged and Jeongyeon just shrugged. "She was just going to leave you
there the whole fucking weekend???"

"How did you get out of there then?" Dahyun asked from the kitchen.

"Oh, Sejeong." Jeongyeon almost forgot about that part. She turned to Jihyo and explained as soon
as she saw a flicker of confusion cross her friend's face. "She wasn't part of it, don't worry. She told
me when she got me out, she swore she didn't know. She also told me that she only found out when
she saw their group chat messages in the morning and then she went to help me out as soon as she
figured out what happened."

"She called me a few minutes ago but she was too nervous to explain. All she said was that I'd
better come over here soon because you were coming home and- and you'd probably need me.
That's why we were already on our way when Dahyun called."

"Good thing I've always liked that girl." Sana commented as if she could fool anyone.

"If they find out that she's the one who let me out she's definitely getting in trouble with Jennie."
Jeongyeon sighed. It's in her nature to worry about everything and everyone else. "And I was so
rude to her. Fuck, I'll apologize later, Ji. I promise."

"I'm sure she'll understand, Jeong. You've been through a lot." The captain nodded.

"What did you tell her?" Sana leaned closer, looking interested.

"I mean, it wasn't exactly meant to her but still." Jeongyeon blushed as she recalled what she said.
"I didn't say anything at first, didn't even thank her for getting me out of there, but then she
followed me as she tried to explain how she found out. And shit- I was pretty worked up, you
know. About to reach my limit so I snapped at her. I got angry and told her to tell Jennie that I was
going to... well, that I was going to end her."

"Wow, I bet that was hot as hell." Sana quipped and Momo yelled for her best friend to shut the
fuck up all the way from the kitchen, but most of them just chuckled.

"We'll make sure to live up to your promise, Jeong." Jihyo said in an uncharacteristic threatening
tone.
"No, we can't. She said we're even now."

"She said what?" Sana inquired, getting mad yet again. "Since when she's the one who decides
whether we're even or not?"

"It's better if we let this end here. We don't need to keep picking fights with them." Jeongyeon tried
to reason.

The truth was that this whole thing had really taken a toll on her and she didn't want to risk having
the same thing happen to any of her friends. But with that, Jennie's voice calling her a coward
echoed in the back of her mind once again.

"But what exactly did she say?" Mina wondered.

"One day for each one of your girlfriends."

Jeongyeon winced as she remembered.

"Do me a favor and tell those two bitches that we're even now, alright?"

You're the fucking bitch. She wished she had told her that instead of freezing.

"She- um..." Jeongyeon cleared her throat, remembering the words and feeling even more awkward
all of a sudden. "In other words, she told me to tell them to... well, I guess-" Shit, she really didn't
want to say it. Calling her friends bitches was bad, but she wasn't sure why the word girlfriends
sounded even worse.

"Jeongyeon?" Jihyo coaxed.

"Shit. Long story short it was supposed to be a day for each one of them. She also told me to tell
these two... people that we're even now. Whoever the fuck she meant by that because she didn't say
any names. I don't know exactly who she was talking about because, you know, she's got problems
with all of us. Jihyo literally hit her and Sana hurt her ego so-"

"I think that's my fault." Mina sheepishly admitted.

"I thought we had already established whose fault it is. It's Jennie's and hers alone. I don't even
care about the rest of her clique now, she's the one who closed that fucking door." She wouldn't let
Mina beat herself up over it. If Jeongyeon couldn't blame herself, she wouldn't let any of her friends
do that either.

"No, but I really brought it upon us this time." Mina apologetically eyed Jeongyeon. "I was... well,
there's no easy way to say this, but I was kind of blackmailing Jennie."

Wait, hold on. She was what now?

"Okay, how do you kind of blackmail someone. Either you do it or you don't, there's no in-
between." Dahyun was the first to ask, overly interested. She even walked back into the living
room.

"Right." Mina nodded. "So I was totally blackmailing her."

"Mina!?" Sana blurted out with a mix of confusion and wonder in her eyes, but there was definitely
a glint there.

"Uh, would you mind elaborating on that a bit?" Jihyo prompted.

"Um… okay." Mina looked slightly embarrassed. "It started after the friendly match against
Sogang. When you guys won the game and hosted that party at the Beach House. Jihyo was pretty
worried and worked up about the volleyball team but you guys thought she was just overreacting.
But what she said really made sense to me, I just knew they were planning to do something big. So
I seized on the fact that Sana had told me the reason why this fight of yours escalated. About
Jennie cheating and all that." She glanced at the captain and then apologetically at Sana, but she
shook her head and quickly looked away. "And I know her girlfriend. We're not friends by any
means, she's almost as bad as Jennie and I think they actually deserve each other. But I told Jennie
I had proof of her cheating habits and I also told her that if she didn't leave the team alone I'd tell
her girlfriend all about it. Not about Sana specifically, but about everything else. Not that I actually
have proof by the way, I just bluffed and she fell for it. I'm sorry."

It took a few seconds for everyone to digest everything they just heard, but Sana still looked at
Mina in awe. Lovesick fool, Jeongyeon thought as she briefly smiled to herself.

"But then why did she do that?" Dahyun tried to make sense of it all.

"They broke up last week." Jihyo relayed. "Well, they're always breaking up and getting back
together, but it sounded more serious this time. Sejeong told me when she and her roommate were
complaining about how Jennie was being even more insufferable than usual."

"Okay, but that doesn't even make sense." Dahyun pressed. "Why would she care so much about
that? Jennie cheated on her like a thousand times, I can't believe she really liked this girl."

"She may not like her for real but her family is filthy rich, so that's probably why." Mina shrugged.
"They do business with my dad and we've had a few dinners together when we were younger.
That's why I know her and Jennie knows we're acquaintances."

"Yeah, now it explains a lot." Dahyun nodded. "If she didn't have to worry about her girlfriend
knowing anymore, Mina's threat didn't matter any longer."

"Wow, that's..." Sana finally snapped out of her daze. "A lot to take in."

"I'm really sorry, Jeongyeon."

"You don't have to be sorry, Mina. You've given us months of peace. That's a lot more than we've
had since that bitch took over the team."

"Yeah, but then she comes back at it doing something like that? And to you of all people, when she
should've taken it out on me."

"It's not entirely your fault." Jeongyeon heard Nayeon's voice for the first time. First time since she
got there. First time since their last ugly fight. "I... shit. Sorry, but I might have sent the picture I
took at their house to Jennie via Snapchat."

"Nayeon..." Jihyo sighed wearily as she rubbed her temples.

"I couldn't help it, the chance was right there. I was angry so I wanted her to know I was the one
who did it. I knew she'd have no way to prove it, so I just did it…" She trailed off.

"I'm not gonna lie, I would've done the same." Sana shrugged and even went for a fist bump.
Nayeon wasn't really in the mood but she still went for it as well.

"But it makes even more sense now." Momo also walked back into the living room. "Jeongyeon
said she talked about two people. If she really wanted to hurt both Nayeon and Mina at one go,
then it makes perfect sense this motherfucker went after Jeongyeon." She merely made an
observation, there was no sort of indictment in her voice.

"Jeongyeon, I'm really-" Nayeon started, her eyebrows frowning deep in concern and her voice
tapered off to a whisper.

"Don't." She shook her head and cut her off with a sharp and somewhat rough tone. But there was
no bite to it, she was just really tired.

That's the first time Nayeon was addressing her after all those dreadful things Jeongyeon had said
to her at the party. And on top of that it was an apology- a fucking apology Nayeon didn't owed
and which Jeongyeon didn't deserve. First because what happened was in no way Nayeon's fault,
and second because Jeongyeon still felt like she deserved much worse after everything she had
done. Not only for all the spiteful words she had thrown at Nayeon the other day, but also for the
way she had been acting for the past months.

"I don't want apologies from either of you because you're not the ones to blame." She cast a brief
glance at Mina before turning back to Nayeon. "Jennie's the only one we should hold accountable
for her actions. If it wasn't me, she'd do the same to someone else anyway. And I only have the
energy to channel all my hatred to a single culprit right now, so that's gonna be her. I hope you
guys do the same."

The other girls hummed along in agreement as Nayeon and Jeongyeon held some kind of staring
contest, hearing threats and promises being made around them. Then Nayeon relented with a small
nod and looked away. Jeongyeon knew that she was still beating herself over it, but that's
something she would deal with later.

Soon enough Momo announced that the food was finally ready and Jeongyeon hadn't realized how
hungry she was until she digged in. In fact she couldn't even remember the last time she had eaten
properly. Her father would be very disappointed but Jihyo made sure to scold her instead.

She had to remember to thank Momo for the nice meal later. As a matter of fact, she had to thank
each and every one of those people who were there. And she would definitely do that later, but
they all needed a good and long rest first. Especially because when she turned to Momo again, she
found the other girl dozing off on the other couch, curled up at Sana's side.

Unusually, Nayeon didn't talk much as they ate. In fact, she was even quieter than before. Then she
even volunteered to do the dishes, which by itself should have worried them all. But they were
pretty tired, barely taking care of themselves at that point, so in a mutual agreement they decided it
was time to head home and rest before regrouping to sort out their problems later on.

"But hey, are you okay, Jeong? I mean, considering everything."

"I don't know." She sighed wearily. "I'm so fucking tired. Really worn out, I guess." Jeongyeon
didn't even weigh in, she just chose to be honest. She chucked weakly when she realized just how
easily it slipped out of her mouth. "I know this is probably more psychological than physical at this
point, but my whole body hurts and my mind is even worse. I'm also feeling bad for worrying you
all even though I'm starting to accept that it wasn't my fault." She added the last part quickly as she
heard some protests. "Oh, and I'm trying not to freak out but I'm pretty worried about my situation
on the team after this. I don't know what Coach Bae is going to do, but I'm sure she won't let it go
smoothly."

"We'll work something out, Jeong." Jihyo promised, placing a reassuring hand on her knee. "Just
rest for now. I promised everything will be okay once we talk this through." Jeongyeon patted her
hand over her friend's.

"Okay then, let's get going before Mina starts to nap too, shall we?" Sana suggested, but then she
took a glance at her roommate and found her dozing off as well. Sana pushed Momo off her
shoulder with a remarkably lack of delicacy and dropped her onto Dahyun's side, who was also
already out. "Actually, I think I'd better drive. I'll drop you guys off on our way home."

She held out her hand to a sleeping looking Mina who didn't hesitate to reach out. They both
hugged Jeongyeon and Mina also planted gentle kisses upon Momo's and Dahyun's foreheads, who
were now lying on top of each other and fast asleep on the larger couch. Jihyo did the same and
they were all set to leave, but then the captain suggested that it'd be better if they moved the
sleeping couple into Momo's bedroom so they could rest properly.

Nayeon waited a little longer to get up from the armchair she was still perched in. Feeling a little
awkward and not really knowing what to do, she made a point of looking everywhere except at
Jeongyeon. But as soon as she got up Jeongyeon felt an urge to stop her.

No, she couldn't go. Jeongyeon needed her.

"Nayeon." She didn't move, but looked up at Nayeon with wide and desperate eyes while the other
three girls were still studying the best way to move the couple. Jeongyeon was pretty sure they
heard her, but they were kind enough to act as if they weren't paying any mind to them. "Can you-
can you stay?"

Of course asking if they could talk would've been better, but Jeongyeon was too burned out for
that. At that moment she didn't care if she might have sounded too desperate or if any of her friends
might hear her pleading. Didn't even worry about whether or not they would read something into it
as well. She just really needed Nayeon to stay.

"No chance in hell we're gonna carry them all the way there." Jihyo kept the conversation going on
the other side just to give the ex-girlfriends some sense of privacy.

"Come on, Hyun. We gotta get you to bed." Mina lightly shook Dahyun's shoulders.

"I bet if Sana says the same thing to Dahyun, Momo will wake up on the spot." Jihyo quipped.

"True." Mina agreed but Sana had other plans.

"Wake up, wake up, wake up." Sana poked both of their sides with little to no gentleness. Quite
different from Mina, but still more effective.

Nayeon had her eyes locked on Jeongyeon all that time. She was probably oblivious to her
surroundings, lost in thought. A loud whine from Momo was what snapped her back to reality. She
nodded to Jeongyeon and stepped up to help Jihyo guide Dahyun while Sana and Mina ushered a
rather drowsy Momo into the bedroom.

"There you go." Sana walked out of the room rubbing her palms together as if she had just finished
a handyman's job. "Alright, we're off. Bye, Jeong. Bye, Nayeon."

"We'll talk later, okay? Get some rest and text me when you wake up." Mina said her goodbyes as
she followed Sana out the door. "Sleep well, you two."

"There's still soup in the kitchen, make sure you eat some more when you wake up." Jihyo was the
last one to leave the apartment. She stepped closer to give Nayeon a hug and whispered something
in her ear but the goalkeeper didn't really catch what it was. "Let me know if you need anything."
She pulled away and placed both hands on her shoulders. Then she turned back to Jeongyeon again.
"And you, straight to bed. I know it all feels hard right now, but it'll get better after a good night's
sleep. Or day, I guess. Anyway, I promise we'll sort it out, Jeong."

"I know, Cap." She offered a tight-lipped smile.

Jihyo nodded and cast them one last glance. Smiled fondly as she stood in the doorway for a
second too long. It looked like she wanted to say something else, but she backed out at the last
minute. With one last wave the door was finally closed and only Nayeon was left standing there
with her. The two of them. Alone. The air was also gone.

"Hey." That's all Jeongyeon managed to say as she stared at Nayeon's back. She was afraid, that's
the truth. Didn't know how to ask Nayeon for what she needed.

"Do you wanna talk?" But that's the thing, she didn't need to ask. Nayeon always knew what she
needed even better than she did herself, so it wouldn't be different this time.

"No. Not really." She felt like looking away but kept her gaze fixed on the girl in front of her.

"Okay." Only then Nayeon turned around. Her careful gaze regarded Jeongyeon with a tenderness
she didn't believe she deserved. "Come with me."

Nayeon held out her hand to her ex-girlfriend who was still cowering on the couch. Jeongyeon
slowly took it and let Nayeon drag her into her bedroom, closing the door behind them as soon as
they got inside. She led Jeongyeon to the swivel chair and left her there to get something from the
bathroom. Jeongyeon felt like her brain had been turned into jelly by now, she didn't even
understand what Nayeon said. Just nodded because she heard something that sounded a lot like a
"I'll be right back" and then a minute later Nayeon was indeed back at her side with a hair dryer in
hands, quietly blow-drying her still damp locks.

Jeongyeon closed her eyes and enjoyed the nostalgic feeling this moment brought because when
they were still together Nayeon used to do it for her all the time. Jeongyeon always hated to do it
herself so she often did a pretty bad job at it, leading Nayeon to complain whenever Jeongyeon
would get their pillows wet, so eventually she ended up taking matters into her own hands. But the
truth was that those were moments they both treasured greatly because Jeongyeon relished the
feeling and Nayeon loved to run her hands through her then-girlfriend's hair freely. So that was just
another thing that had become part of their routine as a couple. Jeongyeon missed it a lot.

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice when the sound of the hair
dryer faded altogether. Only realized it was done when Nayeon pulled her by the hand again.
Okay, maybe she had dozed off a little while sitting there, but at this point it was nearly impossible
not to.

Nayeon took her to bed, lifted the covers and fluffed the pillows. The rain outside was even worse
now so she closed the window and the curtain as well. Nayeon also turned on the TV and muted it
right away because she knew Jeongyeon didn't like to sleep in the dark, but she also couldn't rest
well if there were too many noises in the background. Nayeon did all that without even asking
because she already knew every detail about Jeongyeon. She remembered everything about her, all
the things she did or did not like.

Then she sat down on the edge of the bed and finally asked if there was anything else she could do.
Jeongyeon was struggling to keep her eyes open, but she couldn't fall asleep just yet.

"Please don't leave." Jeongyeon whispered and took Nayeon's hand over the sheets.
 "I won't." Nayeon promised and gently squeezed Jeongyeon's hand back.

"Stay." Jeongyeon repeated and tried to pull her up onto the bed. The nudge barely had the strength
to make her hand move, but Nayeon picked up on what she really meant when Jeongyeon lazily
held the blanket up next to her. "Just this once."

There was a fleeting moment of hesitation, but then she felt the mattress dipping by her side and
Jeongyeon wasted no time in cuddling next to her. She hummed in pleasure when Nayeon started to
caress her hair, lightly scratching her scalp and coaxing her into relaxing as Jeongyeon slipped her
leg between hers and laid her head on Nayeon's chest.

Last thing she remembered was a pair of soft lips touching her temple and a sweet voice
whispering reassurances in her ear before everything went back.

Chapter End Notes

alright, now i wanna have a pretty serious talk with you guys.
i was expecting a different reaction to last chapter because like, why the hell aren't
y'all mad at jeongyeon?
okay, i understand it must be frustrating for her, but she said some pretty harsh things
to nayeon and prodded her into talking even after she promised herself that she wasn't
gonna do it!!
she completely forgot that nayeon is in a toxic relationship with her mother and still
implied that she was being somewhat deceived when she was profiting from that just
as much as nayeon?
not to mention all the times she accused nayeon of telling people about them when in
fact she's the one who can't shut the fuck up? C'MON
we love her still but she made some mistakes here. stop being simps and get mad at
her because the only person around here who's allowed to be blind whipped for
jeongyeon is nayeon!!! thanks
 the sun always shines after the storm
Chapter Summary

Jeongyeon did love Nayeon, that's a fact. She tried not to love her and failed miserably.
She had tried from afar and she had also tried from up close, for days and months and
different methods as well, but it didn't matter, none of this would ever work. She knew
that this wasn't something that would go away just because she wanted to and the truth
was that she really didn't want it anymore.

Chapter Notes

i keep trying to write shorter chapters and i keep on failing so at this rate we'll reach a
million words by the end

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Rain was still pouring down when Jeongyeon opened her eyes, but she didn't mind because she fell
asleep in Nayeon's arms and woke up cuddled up with her. First time she was waking up next to the
girl she loved in what felt like ages.

Their bodies were impossibly close and Jeongyeon just wanted to bask in that feeling for as long as
she could. Nayeon's back was pressed against her front and her arms were wrapped around her,
holding her tightly and yet carefully.

Jeongyeon snuggled closer and nestled even deeper. Their legs were tangled together and her hold
tightened around Nayeon's waist as she nuzzled in the back of her neck. Jeongyeon leaned in even
further to seize more of her favorite scent in the world, but then she felt the girl in her arms flinch
as her nose brushed against the skin.

She was awake. Or well, Jeongyeon woke her up, most likely.

"Good morning?" Jeongyeon didn't know what time it was, she couldn't tell since there was no sun
outside to provide any sort of hint. She also knew that it wasn't actually a good day considering all
she had been through over the weekend, but waking up next to Nayeon gave her that feeling. Of a
good morning.

"Good morning." Nayeon drawled, but she also chuckled. Although she couldn't see it, Jeongyeon
could picture the way her eyes were probably still close as well as the lazy smile playing on her
lips.

Nayeon gently patted Jeongyeon's arm as a request for her to ease her grip. Jeongyeon obviously
complied, but she almost whined when Nayeon pulled away. She only kept it to herself when she
realized that Nayeon wasn't going anywhere. All she did was turn around to face her properly and
slide her hands down along the length of Jeongyeon's torso until they rested on the small of her
back. At last she drew closer and tucked her face into Jeongyeon's neck, humming in pleasure as
she did so.
That moment felt far more intimate than any of the make-out sessions they had shared over the last
months. More meaningful than all the conversations or anything else they had been through in the
past two year.

"Did I wake you up?" Her voice came out a little husky so she cleared her throat.

Nayeon shook her head. "I've been awake for a while."

Jeongyeon lingered a soft kiss on Nayeon's temple and placed her chin on the top of her head. Kept
her eyes closed and her breath even. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." Nayeon answered softly as one of her hands slid inside Jeongyeon's sweatshirt. Her
short fingernails lightly caressed the bare skin of her back. "What about you?"

"I'm a mess." Jeongyeon chuckled and the earnestness in her voice took even herself by surprise.
Perhaps it also surprised Nayeon, but if so she didn't let it show. "I'm not even mad at the prank,
I'm mad because I lost the game. If it was any other day-"

"I'm mad at the prank, if you can even call it that." Yes, she was. And she even sounded as such.
"They crossed the line again, but this time I've had enough. I'm going to settle this once and for
all." Nayeon threatened but Jeongyeon didn't quite follow, she was more focused on the way her
lips were brushing against her neck at each word she uttered.

"I don't want any more trouble, Nayeon. They might end up doing something even worse to
someone else. Maybe to you or Mina next time. Let's just take what we can get. She said we're
even so let's just end this." Jeongyeon tried to reason.

"Don't worry about it, that's not your problem anymore." The harsh tone she used wasn't matching
the gentle strokes she kept ministering on her back. "Like I said, I'll take care of it." Nayeon
vouched and Jeongyeon wanted to protest, but an argument was the last thing she needed at that
moment, especially because of Jennie. So she just dropped the topic and focused on the warmth
feelings pooling inside her chest.

A comfortable silence settled between them and Nayeon even thought Jeongyeon might have
drifted back to sleep. She was wrong though. Jeongyeon suddenly spoke again, blurting out the
words that were nearly suffocating her for a while now.

"I'm sorry for the way I behaved at the party." Nayeon didn't answer right away and Jeongyeon felt
the air being sucked out of her lungs.

"It's okay." Nayeon answered quietly at last. She also nodded slightly. "You were upset, I get it."

"No, it's not okay." Jeongyeon pulled away just enough so she could look at Nayeon. She didn't
want to stay any further than she had to, but that was something she needed to do - look at her. She
brushed Nayeon's cheek with the back of her hand as she spoke. "There is no amount of anger... or
pain, or anything at all, really, that can excuse the things I've said. Especially about your mom
since it isn't your fault. I mean it, alright? You should never let anyone treat you that way,
Nayeonie, ever. Not even me." Then she shook her head upon seeing tears pooling in Nayeon's
eyes. "No, scratch that. Not even, but especially. Especially not me. I don't want to be one of those
people in your life. Never."

There were so many more things she wanted to say, things she still needed to talk about. But
Nayeon closed the distance and sealed their lips in a deep and lingering kiss.

It felt unreal how hours ago she was sure that Nayeon would never forgive her for all the shit she
said and now she was there, in her bed and kissing her to top it off. She stayed despite and
regardless of everything. She didn't know what she had done in her past lives to deserve this but she
had to find a way to thank past Jeongyeon because she certainly wasn't the one who had earned it
all.

"I'm really, really sorry." Jeongyeon added with eyes still closed and foreheads pressed together.
She also held onto the hem of Nayeon's shirt as if her life depended on it.

"I don't- I don't want to hide anything anymore. I'm done running away." Nayeon sounded tired and
Jeongyeon's heart clenched. "I don't want you to even consider that all of this is just a game to me
or- or think that I'm lying to you. I can't have you doubting my feelings for you, Jeong. You can
doubt my motives if you want, you have every right to do so. But not my feelings because-"

"No, Nayeon. I don't- fuck, I'm sorry." Jeongyeon opened her eyes and held both of Nayeon's
hands. Placed a kiss on each of them because she didn't know how to put into words how sorry she
was. "I swear I didn't mean any of that. I expressed myself poorly but I believe you. And I'll
believe whatever you have to tell me, I promised."

"Then let's talk." Nayeon proposed. "Let's get it over with. I don't want to keep it to myself
anymore."

Oh. Jeongyeon was taken aback. An unreasonable fear crept back up into the depths of her stomach
and the grip she had on Nayeon loosen up a bit. "Like... right now?"

"Isn't that what you want?" Nayeon hesitated. Her brows furrowed together and her eyes grew
puzzled.

"No, yes. Yes, I do. I do want to, I mean." She stammered. Fumbled all over herself and felt her
heart beat wildly, it was suddenly hard to breathe again.

For fuck's sake, Jeongyeon, what's wrong with you? Isn't that exactly what you wanted? Isn't that
why you almost lost her again?

"Jeong?" Nayeon brought one of her hands to Jeongyeon's chin, tilting her head down slightly and
looking right into her eyes.

"Can we wait?" She blurted it out and her voice came out as a whisper. She shut her eyes again, but
the grip she had on Nayeon's hand grew stronger like she was trying to talk without words.

"You don't-" Nayeon drawled tentatively but Jeongyeon quickly cut her off.

"No! I really want to have this talk, I promise. Just… let's- yeah, can we wait until the regular
season is over? Let’s work out yesterday's issues first. I- I really want to get my whole mind on it
so we can sort it out the right way." She was almost panting now, anxiety taking over her senses.
She didn't want Nayeon to get it wrong, but she was the one who needed some time right now.
"We can talk before the break. Or after, if you prefer. We only have another week ahead of us, we
still have one more game and-"

"Hey, alright, calm down." Nayeon cupped Jeongyeon's cheeks and waited until she looked at her.
She sounded gentle and genuine with a sweet smile on her lips. Suddenly Jeongyeon really wanted
to taste them again. "I get it, it's fine. But I'm ready now, just let me know when you are too."

After that small chat they shared a few more kisses until they fell asleep again. Waking up and
dozing off a few more times throughout the evening before Nayeon's hunger woke them up for
good. She didn't eat properly earlier since she wasn't feeling hungry with all that stress, but now
that she was feeling better she was, like she said, starving. Nayeon took a shower and slipped into
Jeongyeon's clothes while her ex-girlfriend heated up the food Momo had cooked for them.

It was still in the wee hours of the morning and they had practice in a few hours, but since they had
slept pretty much the whole day there wasn't enough sleep left to get them through the night. So
they just settled down on the couch with their plates in hands and turned on the TV to kill some
time.

Jeongyeon took some time to check her phone as well. She didn't know who had put it on the
charger, but the device was plugged in in the kitchen. She finally went over her text and couldn't
help but feel bad when she saw the dozens of worried messages her friends had sent her the day
before. The team's group chat was also busy with many questions about the absence of their
starting goalkeeper in the game. There were also messages from her sister asking her to call their
mother because Mrs. Yoo said she had been missing her daughter. She texted back saying that she
would call her parents in the morning and also said she was looking forward to getting the family
together again in a few days. After that she noticed that the number she had been texting as
Chaeyoung apparently no longer existed. It must be a burner, she realized. Jennie really had
thought it all through, huh? What a bitch.

Anyway, after all this she started to thank her friends. She sent paragraph long texts expressing
how grateful she was for everything they did for her the day before. Wrote a special thank you
message for each one of them and tried to show just how much she appreciated every single one. It
was easier for her to do it over text, after all she had been through she was pretty sure she'd surely
cry if she had to do that in person.

Nayeon was still clinging to her in the meantime. Jeongyeon was settled on the couch and Nayeon
was just behind her with her arms wrapped around her midsection and her chin resting comfortably
on her shoulder. Jeongyeon didn't mind her reading her texts, in fact, she even asked for her opinion
sometimes. Nayeon, who was way better with words than she was, helped her put some humor into
them, making easy going remarks since Jeongyeon didn't want it to sound too serious.

They were so absorbed in their own little world that they didn't notice one of the doors opening in
the hallway. Momo and Dahyun came out of their room around three am and shared an amused
look as they noticed the cozy position the supposedly former couple was holding on the couch.
Momo thought it was best to announce her presence before walking into the living room and
making them feel uncomfortable or embarrassed, so she went back to the hallway and slammed the
bedroom door shut, making some noise to give her friends some time to get their act together
before walking in with Dahyun.

Upon hearing the noise Nayeon quickly tried to move away. She really had forgotten that they
were in the living room and that there were other people in that apartment as well. Jeongyeon, on
the other hand, didn't let her go anywhere. She held tight on the arm Nayeon had wrapped around
her abdomen and just kept her there, not an inch further. Nayeon looked surprised, but she
definitely didn't protest. She just looked at Jeongyeon in wonder as the other couple walked
through the room. Jeongyeon still had her eyes fixed on her phone, feeling her cheeks burn with all
eyes on her.

"Hello, fellow roommate. Hello, stranger who doesn't live in my apartment." Momo greeted in a
rather amused tone. Dahyun also murmured greetings but she went straight to the kitchen. She
couldn't hide the wide smile that took over her face.

"Hi." The two of them replied together.

"How are you feeling?"

"Never been better." Jeongyeon cast her nod and tight-lipped smile, taking her eyes off her phone.
The grip she had on Nayeon's arm lessened, but the hand was still there, keeping her close.

"Great. Don't worry about us, okay? We'll just grab something to eat and go back to my room."

"I thinks it's still warm and it's really good, by the way. I didn't get a chance to thank you since you
slept on top of Sana."

"It wasn't my finest moment so let's not talk about it, alright? Anyway, you don't have to thank me,
I know I'm great." She winked with a shit eating grin on her face. Walked backwards into the
kitchen flashing fucking finger guns at them, so Jeongyeon just had to roll her eyes and throw a
cushion at her, but her roommate dodged it just in time to ran into the kitchen.

"Um..." Jeongyeon turned to Nayeon when she was left alone with her again. They still had their
arms loosely wrapped around each other and she made sure to keep her voice low because she
knew pretty well that her friends could be listening to them in the next room. "Sorry, I should have
asked if you're comfortable with this first. I acted on a reflex, I guess. Just wanted to keep you
close."

Nayeon drew her index over to Jeongyeon's jaw and placed the sweetest peck on her lips. "Don't
worry, they're cool. I can talk to them later and ask them not to tell anyone."

"I don't want you to do that." Jeongyeon whispered back. Her face was only inches apart from
Nayeon's and she couldn't look away. She also put her phone down to hold her even closer.

"What do you wanna do then?" She felt Nayeon's hot breath brushing against her lips and had to
focus all the strength she had not to lay her down on that couch and kiss the hell out of her right
then.

As if on cue, Momo and Dahyun walked back into the living room. They tried hard to sneak in and
go unnoticed with their bowls and cups in hands, but Jeongyeon was faster.

"Hey, wait up." She looked around and called after them. They both stopped right away, feeling
sheepishly as if they were children being caught after doing something wrong. Two idiots,
Jeongyeon thought. Nevertheless, she blindly reached for Nayeon's hand and intertwined their
fingers together. "We..." She gulped and licked her lips. "We're not back together... yet, but we're
trying to figure it out. And I don't want to hide it anymore, but I also don't want to... well, get ahead
of myself, I guess..." She trailed off but she didn't really need to complete.

"Ma'am, I hate to break it to you but that's none of our business." Dahyun promptly replied, trying
to sound nonchalant but failing miserably.

"Yep, that sounds like a you problem to me." Momo added, following her girlfriend's lead.

"You're two grown women, you can do whatever you want." Both Nayeon and Jeongyeon knew
that they were trying hard to play it cool and not to make them uncomfortable, they were just
overdoing it a bit and it was kind of funny to watch.

"Yep, two consenting adults." Momo slipped an arm around her girlfriend's shoulder and headed to
her bedroom as if she had forgotten that Nayeon and Jeongyeon were right there. "As long as you
have a safe word and all-"

"We definitely don't need to know the details. Tune it down, babe." Dahyun answered as she was
already closing the door behind them.
"Good night and use protection!" Momo's muffled shout was the last thing they heard before the
door actually closed.

Then they were alone again.

"Is that okay with you?" Jeongyeon turned back to her ex-girlfriend, waiting anxiously with her
cheeks even more flushed now.

"Yeah." Nayeon nodded as she seemed to think for a bit. "Yeah, we can do that." She repeated,
firmer this time.

Jeongyeon nodded back and then Nayeon leaned in for another unannounced but yet long-awaited
kiss. Jeongyeon cupped her beautiful face between her hands and did what she had been wanting to
do for a while now: she laid her ex-girlfriend flat on the couch and dove into the irresistible ocean
that was Im Nayeon.

...

The four of them left the apartment together in the morning. The rain offered them the perfect lull
so they could walk to the field.

The walk to practice was so casual and carefree that no one would ever have guessed just how
nervous Jeongyeon really was. Both the couple and the non-couple walked hand in hand to the
field. The only difference was that the actual couple kept holding hands even after they reached
their group, while Nayeon and Jeongyeon let go of each other as soon as they reached the campus.
Neither of them had any regrets or were trying to take back what they promised hours ago, but they
both agreed that it was better to keep a low and slow while they were still trying to figure it all out.

The ones who were in Jeongyeon's apartment the day before had agreed to arrive early to talk and
sort out exactly what they were going to tell the coach. The problem was that as soon as they
gathered in the locker room, Bae Joohyun was already there. She came in a whole fucking hour
earlier and spoiled their plan.

Maybe she already knew this was going to happen or maybe she just couldn't wait to roast
Jeongyeon's ass. Either way, all they could do was share a few worried glances while Bae
demanded an explanation wearing the most unfriendly look they had ever seen.

Coach Bae was a small and apparently harmless woman, but the aura she conveyed made
Jeongyeon feel like she was being looked down upon. Like she was back to being a child under the
gaze of the school principal after getting in yet another fight.

"Good morning, Coach." Jeongyeon greeted keeping her head high and her hands clasped behind
her back.

"Let's see if it's really going to be a good morning, right, Yoo? Spill." Bae shot back, crossed her
arms and waited.

"Well, it's- it's complicated… uh, because I..." She looked around at the familiar faces of her
friends. She saw that Jihyo was about to speak up, but the coach raised her hand as a means to
request silence. Weird, because Bae still had her eyes fixed on Jeongyeon. There was no way she
could have seen the way the captain stepped forward, but she still managed to prevent the
interruption.

"I wanna hear it from Miss Yoo herself." A shiver went through her spine and she took a deep
breath before speaking again. She couldn't possibly tell the whole truth, but she didn't want to lie
too much and make it even worse.

"I, um... shit-" She stuttered and took another deep breath before continuing. "Look, coach, I'm
really sorry I missed the game but some unfortunate stuff happened and it was out of my control. I
needed to drop by the lab on Saturday after hours and when I was over there the door just slammed
shut. I think it was an accident, but you know how it is, it was a Saturday after all, there's never
anyone in the bio building after two pm. There's also no phone service down there so I couldn't call
anyone. I got stuck there all by myself."

"You mean you didn't show up to the game because you were... trapped? In one of the college's
classrooms, on top of that?" Bae's skeptical tone almost made her wince.

"Yes, ma'am." She nodded vigorously and without hesitation. "That's exactly what happened."

"And you expect me to believe that?" Coach scowled deeper and cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I wouldn't lie about this, Coach, you know how much I hate missing any game. I'm in every
match even when I'm not playing, so trust me when I say that nobody's more disappointed than
me." Bae stared at the goalkeeper for a few long and excruciating seconds. Then the interrogation
began.

"What were you doing in the lab? As far as I know you don't have any classes there this semester."

"A friend of mine forgot her backpack there so she asked me to go get it for her on my way home."
Jeongyeon thought quickly and answered straight away. "And since I was close by I didn't even
answer her text. I just went over there, so she didn't know I was there, nor did she think to look for
me there when I didn't show up for the game."

"A friend?" Bae repeated.

"Yes. Her name is Mina. She's part of the research program, she can vouch for me if you need to."
Mina was pretty good at reading situations, Jeongyeon knew she would understand and back her up
even if Bae wanted to call her right now.

"And I'm supposed to believe your girlfriend?"

"Not- not my girlfriend. She's just a friend." She shifted her weight from one leg to the other,
feeling uncomfortable.

"So you couldn't tell anyone because you had no phone service?"

"Exactly. Neither phone nor internet. That you can also check with any student from that building.
All they ever do is bitch- I mean, complain about it."

"How did you get out, then?"

"One of Mina's friends dropped by the lab yesterday morning. Sejeong. She plays for the volleyball
team, she wouldn't lie for me. She went over to get the backpack Mina had forgotten, but ended up
finding me there too. I was pretty lucky." Well, lucky would be about the last word she'd use to
describe the situation, but still. Everything for the role.

"Hold on. So you're telling me you spent the whole night there?" Now she looked surprised.

"Unfortunately, yes." Jeongyeon nodded but also shrugged like it was no big deal. As if it hadn't
been one of the worst experiences of her entire life. "But at least it was only one night, I guess it
could've been worse."

"Right." At first Bae just hummed in response. "And are you okay?" She sensed a shift in the air.
Coach's tone was different now, a little softer.

"I had a great night of sleep and good people by my side. It's not an experience I'd ever recommend
to anyone, but yes, I'm fine now." It was the earnest thing she answered to her coach that morning.

Silence fell upon them and it felt as if Bae was forming a verdict in her mind. The jury gathered
inside the coach's head while Jeongyeon was nervously fiddling her fingers behind her back.

"You're out of the next game." She finally spoke up. "And you'll also be giving Miss Im a break
from handling the after practice activities until the very end of this term. And better yet, you can do
that after the extra hour of training you'll be doing during the same period."

"Yes, ma'am." Jeongyeon nodded right away.

"And when you get back from your break," She went on without breaking eye contact. "Well, it has
come to my attention that the library staff is in need of people to help with organization for the
start of the next semester. You wouldn't mind lending a helping hand until they get it done, would
you?" The tone she used was supposed to be a question, but it left no room for any negative
response.

"No, ma'am. I'd love to." She replied, still nodding to emphasize her words.

Okay, so it was bad, but not as bad as she thought it'd be. She had seen other people get suspended
altogether from all the team events for a whole fucking month for missing games with no prior
notice. So even if she had a half-assed explanation, being able to keep participating in team
activities just with a one game suspension and a couple of weeks of "volunteering" at the library
didn't seem nearly as bad as it could be.

"Hirai." Just then the coach called out for the other girl and Momo almost jumped in fright. Mainly
because Bae raised her voice at her while still looking right into Jeongyeon's eyes, so one was
really expecting that.

"Y-yes, ma'am?" She took a step forward. Coach Bae slowly turned around and walked towards
the midfielder. Jeongyeon loosened up a bit once she was freed from the coach's piercing gaze, but
she still exchanged puzzled glances with Nayeon, Jihyo and Sana. They were all just as lost as she
was.

"Do you remember Saturday night," She started as she walked in circles around Momo. "When I
asked about Yoo's absence?"

"I- yes, I do, ma'am." Momo gulped and features shifted into painful acknowledgement like she
knew exactly what's going on.

"You mentioned that she had sent you a text apologizing for her absence and saying that she would
explain everything soon enough. You did tell me that, didn't you?"

"Yes, ma'am." Momo didn't stutter this time, but her voice did tremble a little.

"So who's lying to me, Hirai?" She asked derisively. "Because Yoo just told me that she didn't have
any phone service, so technically she couldn't have contacted you, I suppose. I mean, if she had
actually sent something to anyone, she would've at the very least asked for help, right? Or am I
wrong?"
Shit. Only then did Jeongyeon remember what Momo had mentioned the day before after she came
back to the apartment. She said she had made up an excuse but she didn't know if their coach had
believed her. Unfortunately they didn't get a chance to talk about it again and in the middle of all
the fuss they ended up not getting their stories straight.

"Coach Bae-" Jeongyeon tried to step in on behalf of her friend, but Momo's sharp voice cut her off
right away.

"It was me, Coach." She took all the blame with no hesitation. "What Jeongyeon said is true, I'm
the one who lied. I was worried and I didn't want her to get in trouble, so I said the first thing that
came to mind to try to make the whole situation easier for her. I mean, I knew she wouldn't just
miss the match if she hadn't had a good reason, so I thought if I told you that, maybe you'd take it
easier on her. But I lied and I admit it, so this one is on me." She finished her speech without
faltering or stuttering at all. She wasn't lying this time and her voice was even reassuring.

"I see." Coach Bae clicked her tongue as she kept walking around her. "I appreciate your loyalty to
your friend, but if there's one thing I don't appreciate it's when I'm lied to." Goddamnit, Jeongyeon
mentally cursed. "So barring the part about taking care of Im's duties, you're getting the same
penalties as your good friend Yoo Jeongyeon, are we clear?"

"Roger that."

"But Coach-"

"Shut up, Jeongyeon." Momo hissed in repression. She also cast a look at the goalkeeper as a
warning for her to keep quiet.

"I'm doing this not only because of what happened over the weekend, but also because of that
pathetic cover-up lie you pulled when Batman and Robin missed practice at the beginning of the
semester. And that being the case, Alfred, you're also grounded, just like Hirai."

Wait, what? Alfred?

"Yes, ma'am." Jihyo answered quietly. Her shoulders dropped a little as she grasped it before
everyone else.

Oh, shit. Jihyo had lied on their behalf too. It had been months but still, Coach wouldn't just let it
go.

"Except library duty, Captain. You'll get another job instead. You'll be helping Im with the research
for preparing our team for the playoffs."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now let's see if I've forgotten anyone..." She looked around slowly, did a full 360. A few other
players had arrived in the meantime and each of them averted their eyes so they wouldn't meet the
coaches' gaze. "I think we're done here. I really hope you think twice before lying to me again. No
matter how noble you think your motive is, I'll take the truth over everything else." She concluded
by clashing her palms together to settle the matter. Some of them got startled, others even jumped
at the sudden noise. "And since most of you are here early anyway, let's get the practice started.
Midfield, all of you. Stretch first and then I want all of you to run twenty laps around the field
because of that ridiculous tie on Saturday. Let the rest of the girls know when they arrive."

Unlike the usual, no murmurs of complaint were heard this time. They all started moving
immediately, running towards the field without a second thought. The rain came pouring down
again during the stretching. Needless to say, it was a pretty exhausting training session. And wet.
Very, very wet.

Nevertheless, whenever Jeongyeon's gaze met Nayeon's between the drills, she felt like all the
promises she and the rest of her friends made that day had been fulfilled. Being punished for
something she had no control over sucked, of course, but it wasn't nearly as bad as she thought I'd
be. The worst part was Momo and Jihyo getting caught in the crossfire, but she would apologize
about it later.

After the first new extra practice came to an end and Coach Bae and most of the team left the field,
Jeongyeon stayed back to take over Nayeon's role as part of her penalties. But Nayeon, as well as
Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu also stayed back to keep her company. The
rain had ceased again and a much needed and yet shy sun finally broke out in the sky. It was
almost poetic, like they say, the sun always shines after the storm. And after the last days, with
everything settling down, it definitely felt like the sun was shining again.

Sana and Momo made sure to update the younger two on the whole thing while Jihyo and Dahyun
praised the way the goalkeeper managed to get out of the mess and Nayeon actually helped
Jeongyeon out. Some comments about how she should invest in an acting career were heard
through the circle where her friends were all either sitting or lying on the wet grass, chatting and
resting after their tiresome training session.

"It makes sense that she's just now handing out the punishments. It was more risky to lose our best
players at the beginning of the season." Tzuyu noted after a lot of talking. "Now it's the last game
and we're qualified anyway. It's not like there's anything at stake right now."

"But I'm still sorry, really. I didn't think the penalties were so bad when it was just for me, but it's
not fair that you guys also got in trouble."

"Well, we did lie, so we can't really say that it's unfair." Momo shrugged.

"Because of me."

"So what? We'd do it again." Jihyo shot back and stretched out on the grass.

"Come on, Jeongyeon. You're getting a headache over a little extra time in the library? I think that's
actually gonna be good for Momo. With some luck she might actually get smarter after that." Sana
teased.

"And a game out. We're suspended." The goalkeeper ruefully recalled.

"We got a break, you mean." Jihyo cut in again. "Season has been tough and terribly tiring. It'll
actually be nice to get some rest, my muscles are grateful."

The captain was lying on the grass like a starfish: eyes closed, arms and legs stretched out and
enjoying the not quite warm sunlight. Momo had just onslaught Sana onto the ground and was
currently tickling her, forcing her to say something about her being the smartest person on earth or
something like that. Neither of them seemed the least bit concerned about the punishments and
once again Jeongyeon realized that she really did have the best friends in the world.

"Don't worry about it, Jeong." Nayeon's sweet voice reached her ears and she sought her eyes right
away. She was standing only a few inches behind, holding a stack of cones in her hands and
sporting a heartwarming smile. "You know she went easy on you guys, right? In our first year she
suspended Hyejin for a month just because she overslept and was late to the game. And she still
showed up for the second half anyway." Nayeon made a good point. "But Bae believed you and
even cared about how you were doing after that. She just couldn't take it any easier because she's...
well, she's her."

Jeongyeon's hands itched to reach out and touch the other girl. To hold her hand, to tuck that stray
lock of hair behind her ear or to just kiss her right there. But she held back, just nodded and offered
her a smile. Then she went back to putting the equipment away more quickly since she wanted to
finish it soon so she could get some time alone with Nayeon before her last day of classes.

...

As usual, yet again Nayeon was proven to be right. Coach Bae was really going easy on them.
None of the penalties were lifted, or course not, but Jeongyeon didn't find it all so bad that she had
to do an extra hour of practice when Momo and Jihyo were there with her.

Let alone afterwards when the two of them left and Nayeon was still there, waiting for her. She
would walk off the bench to help Jeongyeon put away the equipment because according to her "it's
only fair since you were the one who helped me for the whole semester." So yeah, it's true, that part
in particular felt even less like a punishment since she was already doing it with her ex-girlfriend
anyway.

But what really surprised her was Bae's granting permission for her, Momo e Jihyo to tag along
and travel with the time for the next game. The match in question was against the International
University of Korea, so a long five-hour bus ride was required between the two universities,
making this one the longest road trip of the season.

Usually the suspended players were not allowed to participate in these trips since they weren't even
cleared to sit on the bench. But when Jeongyeon coyly asked the coach if they could accompany
the team for "moral support" Bae just scoffed and replied with a "What do you mean if you can?
Did you all think you'd spend the last weekend of the semester off? Like in free to do whatever you
want?? As punishment? Please, you all better be on that bus tomorrow or else..." Tough words that
didn't match the almost amused look she had on her face, but the goalkeeper just thanked her and
went to deliver the good news to her friends.

And that's how they found themselves inside a noisy bus later that week, on their way to the last
game of their regular season.

They left Yonsei on Friday afternoon. Coach wanted to get there in time to get a proper rest and do
at least a brief field recon training since the match would only be happening late the next day. The
vehicle was a mess, as usual, and without the burden of exams weighing over their shoulders there
was absolutely nothing to stop them from making an even bigger fuss.

Chaeyoung, Yerim, Dahyun and Ryujin were playing a card game and talking a little too loudly in
the backseats. Momo was somehow asleep just across from the noisy group with her head laying
on Tzuyu's shoulder while the strike was watching a drama on her phone. Jihyo and Nayeon were a
little further ahead also chatting while Jeongyeon and Sana sat just in front of them. The goalkeeper
was bored and eavesdropping on the conversation going on behind them since Sana, who she let
have the window seat, hadn't put down her phone since the moment they got into the bus.

An hour down, four more to go. Jeongyeon released a long sigh knowing that she wouldn't be able
to get any shut-eye before they arrived at the hotel.

"Tired?" A familiar voice called out to her. Yves was sitting right next to the goalkeeper, but on the
other side of the aisle.
"Bored, actually." She replied, tilting her head to the side. It had been a while since she and Yves
had talked outside of the squad group chat. They were never exactly close and even their funny
interactions at parties had been cut short quite a bit lately.

"That's understandable. I'd be bored too if that's my company." Yves nodded toward Sana and the
other girl took a deep breath trying hard not to be bothered.

Oh, of course. Yves would never miss an opportunity to annoy Sana. Jeongyeon just chuckled and
waited for their usual argument to escalate. She was way too bored not to enjoy a little banter.

"If only your mother had swallowed you instead the world would definitely be a better place now."
Sana said under her breath and Jeongyeon choked out a laugh.

"What did you just say?" There was no bite, Yves really hadn't listened. She cocked an eyebrow
and leaned closer.

"I just wanted to insult you but I'm afraid I won't do it nearly as well as nature already did." Sana
decided to tone it down a notch - well, if you can even call it that. But she replied with a wry smile,
but then turned her attention back to her phone while Yves snickered.

"Hey, you're not pretty enough to be that uninteresting, Sana, you should at least entertain your
girl."

"I'm not-" Jeongyeon tried to cut in but didn't get a chance to finish.

"Oh, that's cute. You wanna talk about being interesting or pretty? Two things you don't
understand?"

"Damn, I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed."

"Why don't you go outside and play in traffic, huh?"

"Sure, but if I threw a stick out of the window, you'd leave too, right?"

"Gee, I envy people who have never met you."

"Okay guys, that's enough." Jihyo's called out behind them. She broke off her chat with Nayeon to
intervene.

"Already?" Jeongyeon complained, almost pouting. She wasn't kidding about being so bored that
even that petty bickering was interesting.

"Yes, already." Jihyo got up and cast a scolding look at her too. "Momo is suspended, they're
playing together tomorrow. I don't need my midfield throwing fists before the match."

"So if they throw fists after the game that's okay with you?" Jeongyeon teased.

"We'll be the ones throwing fists if you keep this up."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that, Cap. Everyone knows that her problem is that she can't
accept the fact that she's into me." Yves carried on, keeping her tone light. "If she were to touch
me, it'd definitely be to do something else."

"Yes, it'd be to push you in front of a truck." Sana deadpanned.

"I said that's enough." Jihyo rolled her eyes.

"She started it!" Sana accused. "Everything was fine before she started to bug Jeongyeon."

"Am I bugging you, Jeongyeonie?" Yves leaned even closer with a charming smile playing on her
lips. She also had that look on her face, the same one she always had whenever she wanted
Jeongyeon's help to get under her Sana's skin.

"Oh." The goalkeeper didn't know how to answer. If it was last year she wouldn't have hesitated to
play along, but now there were other things involved... other people. Okay, only one. One single
person. But that's someone who was also sitting right behind her and although having nothing
settled between them, she really didn't want to make her uncomfortable. But she also didn't want to
make Yves feel awkward or make Sana think that-

"See?" Sana basked in Jeongyeon's hesitation. "Get lost, Yves. She's not interested."

"She can speak for herself." Yves replied, unaffected.

"She can but she won't because she's too nice to turn you down for what, the fiftieth time this year?
Just give it up, dude. It's getting sad to watch."

"She's warming up to me, you know. I bet I can get my date before I graduate at the end of the
year." Yves winked at Jeongyeon in that same playful fashion. It had been months since they had
played that game, but she knew exactly what it meant.

"Maybe we should make this more interesting, then." Sana finally put her phone down.

"Famous last words..." Jihyo quietly said, but didn't interject this time.

"Maybe you should just shut up, Sana." Nayeon finally made her presence known and her tone was
far from friendly. "Every time you say something like that someone ends up getting screwed.
Usually you."

"Hush, I know what I'm doing." Sana casually dismissed Nayeon's remark. She didn't even look at
her, her smirk just grew wider. Then she bent further, leaned pretty much over Jeongyeon to talk to
the other girl across the aisle. "If I score in tomorrow's game, you stop hitting on my Jeongyeon for
good. Once and for all, until you get the hell out of here."

"Your Jeongyeon?" Yves released a hearty laugh, she seemed to be having a lot of fun with this
whole thing.

"Okay, fine. She's not exclusively mine, but she's not in the public domain either. So you can
consider it a payback for a friend." Sana rectified unaffectedly.

"What, but I-" Jeongyeon tried but she was ignored as well. Yves was the one who cut her off this
time.

"Cool. But when I score- that's right, I said when and not if." She took her eyes off Sana and
glanced at Jeongyeon with a kinder look. "Can I take you out on a date?"

Okay, how did that happen? Minutes ago she was just watching the two girls fight and now she
was the prey?

"Yes, sure. Whatever, you can." Sana vouch on her behalf.

"Sana!" Momo called out from the back of the bus. Jeongyeon didn't even know she was awake,
but she didn't seem the only one who was paying attention to their chat. "The fuck do you think
you're doing?"

"We have a deal?" Sana ignored her best friend and held out her right hand in front of Jeongyeon.
Yves took it and tightened her grip to seal the deal.

"Deal." She proceeded to pretend to wipe her hand on her shirt as soon as they let go. "Anyway, I
wish you terrible luck in the match, Sana. And you..." She looked at Jeongyeon one last time. "You
know where to find me if she keeps trying to bore you to death." Yves winked once again and then
she was off. She walked away to join the games taking place in the back of the bus.

"Let me see if I got this right." Jihyo's head popped up between Jeongyeon and Sana with an
amused grin playing on her lips. "You're pimping Jeongyeon out now?"

"Chill out, once I score and set Jeongyeon free she'll be thanking me." Sana put her headphones on
and shifted her attention back to her phone as if nothing had happened.

Jeongyeon didn't have the heart to look back, but she heard someone huffing and snorting loudly
right behind her. If she had turned around she would've seen Nayeon sulking, slumped in her seat
with her arms crossed and a huge pout on her face as she uneasily tapped her foot on the floor. She
was also staring at the back of Sana's seat and nearly burning holes behind her head with her eyes.
She would also see Jihyo just beside her, still smiling way too broadly as if she was having the
time of her life.

The rest of the trip wasn't as chaotic though. After the initial embarrassment wore off, Jeongyeon
tugged Sana's headphones off and ranted for a solid ten minutes, calling her out for that whole
mess. But the other girl didn't take it all too seriously, she just brushed it off and repeatedly told
her that she got it before looking away to busy herself with her phone yet again.

Later, when Jihyo left her seat to join a card game in the back, Jeongyeon quietly slipped into the
row behind her and settled down next to Nayeon. Her ex-girlfriend also had her headphones on, her
head was leaning against the window and her eyes were shut.

Anyone else would've probably left her alone because they'd think she was asleep, but as always
Jeongyeon knew best. She knew Nayeon was prone to get motion sickness way too easily, so
unless she was really tired she wasn't able to sleep in any moving vehicle. That's why Jeongyeon
touched her arm and only then did Nayeon notice her presence. She took off one of her headphones
and offered a tight-lipped smile.

"How are you holding up?"

"I haven't felt like throwing up yet." She replied leaning toward Jeongyeon. Nayeon didn't mind
that they were in public, she just held onto her arm, rested her head on her shoulder and closed her
eyes again. "At least not because of the drive." She grumpily added and Jeongyeon made a face
knowing it was bound to happen.

"I'm sorry about the whole thing with Yves." She kept her voice as quiet as she could and held one
of Nayeon's hands between her own as she snuggled closer. "You heard it, it's all Sana's doing. I'm
not going on any dates with anyone."

Nayeon didn't answer at first, she just hummed in response. They were quiet for a while but when
Nayeon spoke again she was on a totally different topic.

"That thing you said the other day... about us trying to work it out and finally having that talk once
the season is over. Did you really mean it?"
"Of course I did. There's nothing I want more."

"Right. Okay, I just needed to be sure." Nayeon nodded against her shoulder. "Since you didn't
mention anything else over the week I was kind of..." She trailed off.

"I know, I'm sorry."

Not that Jeongyeon was trying to avoid the matter by any means, she really wanted to have that
discussion soon. Not only did she want to but she needed to as well. But the last days had been such
a reality shock to Jeongyeon that she was actually furious at herself for taking so long to figure it
all out.

Jeongyeon did love Nayeon, that's a fact. She tried not to love her and failed miserably. She had
tried from afar and she had also tried from up close, for days and months and different methods as
well, but it didn't matter, none of this would ever work. She knew that this wasn't something that
would go away just because she wanted to and the truth was that she really didn't want it anymore.

Why should she keep forcing herself into something that she felt in her bones it was against her
nature? Because Nayeon had hurt her in the past? Yes, that's true, but she wasn't exactly innocent
either. Jeongyeon was no victim.

She acknowledged her past mistakes and the recent ones as well. And even if she hadn't done
anything wrong before, she had certainly hurt Nayeon just as bad when she said all those terrible
things to her a few days ago. But instead of pushing her away or rubbing all her wrong deeds in her
face, Nayeon did better. She stood by her side in one of her most vulnerable moments and didn't
leave after seeing her worst version.

While in contrast, for the past few months, Jeongyeon had tried to paint Nayeon as a villain. She
thought it would be easier to hate her that way when the only person she ended up hating was
herself.

She wished she could take it back but there was nothing she could do to erase all that. To undo all
the horrible thoughts she had or to stop herself from saying all those hateful words. And no matter
how easily Nayeon had forgiven her, she still couldn't stop dwelling on that. It's something
Jeongyeon knew she would never forget, yet as much as it pained her vividly, somehow it still had
a silver lining because that's why she was sure she would never do anything like that again.

Now, ultimately, the only thing she could do to redeem herself was listen to her. Finally give her
the benefit of the doubt she had previously lacked.

Jeongyeon still feared whatever it was the reason that drove Nayeon away from her, but she was
there now and that's all that really mattered. After months of uncertainty she was willing to take the
step she needed to fix this and Jeongyeon finally let herself believe that she could overcome
anything if she only had Nayeon by her side.

"I'm afraid." Jeongyeon quietly confessed and Nayeon pulled away to look at her. "And I think it
isn't because of whatever you have to tell me anymore. What scares me now is that if you're going
to be honest, I'll have to be more open as well, and I don't know if you're going to look at me the
same way after I tell you everything that's been going through my mind this whole time." Her voice
tapped off to a whisper. "I know I've said a lot of bad things already, but sometimes I just- I can't
help it. I think I freak out because I can't get these bad thoughts out of my mind, and I really don't
want you to see it too."

Her raw feelings and earnest words surprised the both of them, but if it's the lack of communication
that got them into this situation, then that's surely a great step in the journey ahead of them.

"I don't believe that anything would ever be able to change the way I feel about you, Jeongyeon."
Nayeon's eyes softened as she drew closer to land a kiss on her cheek. Then she was back to resting
her head on her shoulder and closing her eyes. "But it's okay, I'll keep waiting for you. I just needed
to know that you haven't changed your mind."

The tension slipped away from Jeongyeon's body upon hearing those words. She lay a kiss on
Nayeon's hand and kept holding on as leaned her head over hers.

Jeongyeon mentally thanked whoever was responsible for bringing this girl back into her life. She
also asked- prayed even, for her to never be taken away.

Please, not again.

...

"Sana and Nayeon are sharing a room." Jihyo told her roommate for the night as soon as they
stepped into the hotel room. "I wish I was a fly just to know what's going on in there."

"You know how wrong it is for you to be so excited about this, don't you, Captain?" Jeongyeon
teased as she threw her suitcase on the nearest bed.

"Just let me be." Jihyo left her backpack on the floor and laid down on the bed next to the window.

"You didn't let me be when Sana and Yves were arguing earlier." Jeongyeon accurately recalled.

"It's different."

"Why?"

"Because I don't trust Sana and Yves not to get into a real fight, whereas Sana and Nayeon always
work it out. I trust them not to kill each other." Jihyo quipped cheerfully and unaffected. Jeongyeon
rolled her eyes and flopped down on the bed.

"Whatever you say, Cap." Jeongyeon placed both her hands behind her head. "I'm just glad they're
getting along."

"Yeah, me too." Jihyo agreed and mimicked her friend's position. "They need each other."
Jeongyeon just hummed in response and closed her eyes as they kept quiet for a while.

Those bus trips could be extremely tiring sometimes. Although Jeongyeon loved being on the
team, that's the part of the job she didn't like that much. Since they were already qualified for the
playoffs, if everything worked out they only had a few more games to play towards the title and
hopefully those games would be closer to home and- wait. Hold on.

As her wonders about the season took over her thoughts, a new flash of realization came across her
mind.

JIhyo was there, right next to her, talking about a potential conflict between Nayeon and Sana.
Such a conflict that would only be happening because Sana made a bet about setting Jeongyeon up
on a date with someone else, which Nayeon probably wouldn't be very fond of but only if they
were anything more than just ex-girlfriends who also happened to be friends… so that meant that
Jihyo knew?
In theory, the captain was the only one of her closest friends who hadn't been directly caught up in
this whole business between her and Nayeon. Momo and Dahyun already knew and Jeongyeon had
told Sana and Mina about the kiss, even if she didn't disclose the other details about their affair.

Not that Jeongyeon didn't mean everything she promised Nayeon, she really didn't want to hide
anymore. Even if it was only going to come back and bite her in the ass at the end, she no longer
cared about other people knowing that she and Nayeon were at least trying. But since there was
nothing really settled between them, none of them were out there telling everyone. After all, it
wasn't like they had any real news to share.

They only told Momo and Dahyun straight out because the two of them saw them together, but
Jeongyeon doubted that they had shared it with anyone else. By the way Sana was clowning
around in the bus, Momo definitely hadn't told anything to her best friend. Of course Sana liked to
tease Nayeon even when she and Jeongyeon were still a couple, but they all knew that she would
never do anything like that if she was really aware of what was going on between the two of them
right now.

The former and now potential couple had spent an uneventful and quiet week at Yonsei. Each one
engaged in their own end-of-term activities, tying up loose ends before they actually went on their
break. Jeongyeon had asked for a few days and Nayeon had granted her that. The pair kept hanging
and spending time with each other, but instead of desperate kisses and sneaky meetings, they were
really just enjoying each other's company and trying to get their shit together. Everything was
going well now that Nayeon was ready to tell the truth and that's the only thing that really mattered
to Jeongyeon.

Still, she couldn't lie and say that she wasn't daunted. Not only by the future outcome of her talk
with Nayeon, but also by the fact that she had spent the entire last semester lying to her best friend.

But if Jihyo apparently knew and didn't seem to be upset about it, maybe the time she had been
yearning for finally came. Where she could do what she had been longing for the last few months
and truly open up to Jihyo, find advice and comfort in her best friend. Even if she might be mad at
her, she needed to at least try.

"Jihyo?" Jeongyeon called out, opening her eyes and staring at the white ceiling. Braced herself for
what could sadly become an argument.

"Yeah?" The captain drawled, sounding kinda sleepy.

"You know, don't you?" She struggled to put it out there.

"Depends on what you're talking about." Jihyo was vague at first but it didn't last long. A second
later she shook her head and took pity on her friend. "But yes, I do."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"That's okay, it's not like I've been completely honest with you either." Of course she was talking
about Sejeong.

"But it's different."

"Maybe, but we both still keep things from each other." Damn Jihyo for always using logic when
she's trying to feel bad.

"How much do you know?" Jeongyeon asked and Jihyo sighed.

"Well, I know there's definitely something going on between you and Nayeon. I mean, she hasn't
told me anything either, but I know both of you. Actually, considering the time we've known each
other I still think it took me a little too long to notice." Jihyo spoke slowly and softly, as if she was
just now realizing a few things. "It wasn't until after my thing with Sejeong, but that night… I
guess before I was too caught up on my own thing, but only then I started to realize just how
fucking oblivious I was." She breathed out with a chuckle. "And after that I even had my doubts at
first. I thought I was only seeing what I wanted to see, but after the way you asked her to stay in
your apartment last week I couldn't keep fooling myself any longer." Jeongyeon nodded even
though she wasn't looking at her. "I think it took me longer because I was really trying to distance
myself from this. It might sound selfish because maybe you or her might have wanted to talk about
it with me, but I really kept myself as far as I could because…" She trailed off.

"Yeah." Jeongyeon got it. She nodded again and bit her lip. "I get it, it's not selfish."

"I just really didn't want to lose any of you. After last time it really-"

"I know, Ji. Trust me." Yeah, Jeongyeon really couldn't judge. She was scared too, so she knew
exactly where it's coming from. Besides, that's why she tried to keep Jihyo out of this. "But we're
good now. You don't have to worry."

"Right." Jihyo breathed a sigh of relief. "But it's still funny to see you two playing this just friends
role and then getting all cuddly and cozy on the fucking bus." She added goodnaturedly and only
then the tightness in Jeongyeon's heart eased a little. The fact that Jihyo wasn't upset was like a
weight being lifted off her shoulders.

"Oh, you saw that?" Jeongyeon blushed.

"You were literally in my seat, dumbass." Jeongyeon couldn't help but giggle and Jihyo joined in.

"Do you think Nayeon and I could actually be together again?" Jeongyeon asked once it wore off.

Maybe that wasn't the best way to continue that conversation, but she couldn't help it. At the same
time she needed a little hope, she also knew that no one would be more earnest than Jihyo when it
came to them.

"I don't know." Jeongyeon caught her off guard so she quietly returned with a question of her own.
"How- I mean, you two... what are you doing right now?"

"We have been... uh, talking?" Jeongyeon kept her eyes on the ceiling. Her hands now fiddling
nervously over her abdomen. "She knows about the rooftop now. She knows I lied to her, but I
still..."

I still don't know where the hell she had been for the past year? Or why did she break up with me if
she really loves me like everyone keeps saying?

No, Jeongyeon couldn't phrase it like that. First because she didn't know how much Jihyo really
knew about Nayeon's whereabouts and everything else she had been hiding; and second because
she didn't want her best friend to think that she was demanding those answers from her, it surely
wasn't that. Either way, she was cruising uncharted territory.

"I still don't have the answers I need." She chose not to elaborate, but she didn't plan for the next
words that slipped out of her mouth anyway. "All I know is that I still love her."

Jeongyeon closed her eyes again when she realized. She heard Jihyo releasing a long, heavy sigh
from the other side. "I know."
"You do?" Jeongyeon opened eyes and snapped her head at Jihyo, finding her captain already
staring at her from the other bed. The sob she had caught in her throat was the only thing keeping
her from crying right now.

"I have eyes." Jihyo smiled and then bit her lip. "And like I said, I also have years and experience
with you two."

"You really aren't mad?" It still felt deceptively surreal that things were actually moving forward
instead of taking leaps backwards.

"Mad is not the word I'd use." Jihyo acknowledged. "I mean, I'd be nice if you guys wanted to open
up to me, but I know it's hard when you're barely willing to talk to each other." Ouch, that's pretty
much a slap in the face. But Jeongyeon knew she was right, and she had already promised herself
that she was going to work on it.

"I'm trying to be better at these things." She confessed.

"Alright then." The captain nodded. "And believe it or not, Sana gave me some pretty good advice
a while back."

"Yeah?"

"She told me that no matter how much we want to help the ones we love, sometimes people need
to fight their battles on their own."

"The same Sana who was trying to whore me out earlier?"

"Exactly! Weird, isn't it?" Jihyo made a face. "I'm sure she stole it from someone else, but it's still
the wisest thing that has ever come out of her mouth."

The two fell into giggles again and the air grew lighter until Jihyo spoke again.

"Jeong, I know you guys are still trying to figure this all out. You don't have to go into heavy
details, but you can talk to me if you need to, okay?" There she was sounding dead serious again. "I
know I tried to run away but I'm done now. I'm here for you however you need me, just like I
should've been from the start."

Jeongyeon stared back at her and suddenly her eyes filled with unshed tears. She stood up and
made her way to Jihyo's bed, laid down beside her and stared up at the ceiling again, but this time
with Jihyo's hands between her own.

"I can't stop thinking that we shouldn't be together. That maybe- maybe we aren't good to each
other and that's why we fell apart. Especially after I said some pretty bad stuff to her even though I
knew I'd hurt her and- goddamned. She fucking left me, Jihyo. And since she's back she keeps
giving me mixed signals." Jeongyeon sobbed as started to put it out there. Words and tears." But
mostly I can't help but feel like I don't deserve to be with her right now? And at the same time it
makes a lot of sense to me, it also makes me feel crazy because I'm so mad at her. I'm mad at her
all the fucking time and I really don't know how to handle it anymore. I just want to get it over
with, you know? But I'm also scared to death of losing her forever this time."

That's the first time she didn't feel guilty about venting since this whole mess started. The first time
in a long time Jeongyeon opened her heart to her best friend. And although it wasn't in the ideal
way, Jihyo still hugged her and talked her way through it. Tried her best to whisper assurances and
soothe her heart.
All in all, it felt good and it also felt right.

As if the baby steps were starting to become a little jog.

...

The game went down quite smoother than they expected.

Jeongyeon, Momo and Jihyo couldn't even be on the bench since Coach Bae's suspension rules
were very strict. IUK's team was also already qualified, so this match was really just for the sake of
fulfilling their schedule. Sana was wearing the captain's armband that night and she opened the
scoring with a beautiful free-kick in the second half. Celebrated by making a scene of blowing a
kiss to Jeongyeon in the stands.

But the goalkeeper wasn't paying much attention to the game itself, her teammates' screaming were
what drew her attention back to the match. She was too busy following Nayeon around with her
eyes, watching the intern navigate on the sidelines on the other side of the field.

She hardly had any opportunities to watch Nayeon like that since whenever she was on duty,
Jeongyeon herself was busy protecting her goal. But still, it's a rather interesting experience to
watch Nayeon in her zone.

The way she was totally focused on the match, taking her attention off the field just to write some
notes down or to follow the coach's instructions. The gentle yet confident way she handled the
younger players, how she'd always place a hand on their shoulder or pat them in the back as she
leaned closer to give them directions.

Pretty much everything, no matter how small it seemed, Jeongyeon could still see all the passion
she put into it. And honestly, that's just another reason for the long list of why Jeongyeon loved
her.

"That son of a bitch really did it." Momo mumbled as she shook Jeongyeon and celebrated her best
friend's goal. "And I know I won't get my money back, but Sana will never let Nayeon live it
down, so it's totally worth it."

Nayeon, on the other hand, celebrated Sana's goal with a discreet little hop, but as soon as the
smiling midfielder walked up to her asking for a fistbump, she rolled her eyes and tried to flee from
her arms. What a dork, Jeongyeon thought. But wait, what did Momo just say?

"Wait, what? What money?"

"The match is not over until the final whistle is blown." Sporting a terribly smug smile on her face,
Jihyo casually stated while she was still clapping for Sana.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jeongyeon frowned and asked Jihyo this time, but the captain just
shrugged. Momo didn't elaborate either.

"Just watch the game, hotshot." That's all Momo said in response.

The answer came in extra time when Yves scored a goal to clinch their away win. Momo
facepalmed and groaned in frustration next to her, leaving Jeongyeon confused as to why the hell
she wouldn't celebrate the team's victory. Oh, the bet, she soon remembered. But well, Sana scored
first, that had to mean something, right?

"I scored first. You lost." That's exactly what Sana said an hour later, inside the bus that would take
them back home.

Her hair was damp from the shower and she had a towel draped around her neck. She had been one
of the first players to get back to the vehicle which was still waiting for more than half of the team
so they could set off back to Seoul. Jeongyeon and Momo had just gotten in after standing in line to
buy a few snacks for the team, but they caught this part of the conversation as soon as they hopped
in.

"I beg to differ, superstar. There was no such rule, so technically speaking, you lost too." Yves
smirked.

"How can I win and lose the same bet? Just take the L, dude. You're done." She shot back and
rolled her eyes.

"I'm glad you asked!" Yerim stepped forward. She got out of her seat in the last row and walked
towards the duo. "You can't address this as a double loss, you must handle the matter as a win for
the both of you. So Yves gets to take Jeongyeon out on a single date and then if it's still a no, she
stops hitting on her for good. Just like that."

"Wait a damn minute." Jeongyeon was about to speak up, but Sana beat her to it. She sounded
almost offended as she narrowed her eyes at Yerim. "First off, how do you know about the bet?
And secondly, who made you the judge of all this?"

"Everyone knows about it, duh." Yerim answered as if it's supposed to be obvious. "And who
elected me was the people, of course, when they needed someone to collect the bets."

"Bets??" It was Yves' turn to ask. She looked as confused as Sana as she watched Yerim strid past
them, walking down the aisle handing out some cash to Jihyo and Tzuyu. "You mean you all
pulled another bet?"

"It’s pretty much a betting pool. You guys didn't think about the variables, but we did." Yerim
went on as the losers murmured complaints around them. "And since we're fair, here, this is for
you." She handed some of the cash to Yves, who took the bills with a puzzled frown on her face.

"What's this for?" Yves asked once again.

"You mean everyone knows about this??" Sana grumpily inquered.

"I didn't." Yves answered even though she didn't need to.

"I definitely didn't." Jeongyeon grumbled, speaking up for the first time. "What kind of bet is that?"

"Not only did I know, but I also won. Thank you all." Jihyo shrugged, counting the bills in her
hands.

"Jihyo and I were the only ones who thought that both of you would score today." Tzuyu clarified
as she checked her money as well.

"Sadly I laid my faith on Yves." Momo sheepishly admitted casting an apologetic glance at Sana
and... Nayeon perhaps?

Most of them were either sitting or kneeling in their seats, a few were still standing in the aisle.
Nayeon was a few seats away and seemed to be struggling a little too hard to put a simple backpack
in the overhead compartment.
"Fucking traitor." Sana shook her head disapprovingly and flicked Momo's forehead while
Jeongyeon just huffed and crossed her arms. She couldn't believe that all her friends were placing
bets behind her back and- no, hold on!!

"You knew about this?!" She turned to Nayeon who was now closer to the group and yet still
avoiding Jeongyeon's gaze.

"Sort of..." Nayeon scratched the back of her neck. "Uh, I may have put my money on Sana." She
sheepishly confessed with a little shrug and her eyes fixed on the ground.

"She said she would rip my skin off my body if I didn't score." Sana leaned in to whisper closer to
Jeongyeon's ear, but she shrugged afterwards. "I'm glad I did."

"And my willingness to do so remains all the same." Nayeon lifted her gaze only to glare daggers
at Sana.

"Anyway," Sana brushed it off and resumed the previous matter. "It's fine by me, you know.
Seems like a fair end to the bet." She flashed a smile back to Nayeon. "A little date won't kill her,
and you guys are even getting sponsored."

It's official. Jeongyeon really hated her friends. And she hated Nayeon too, whatever their current
status was.

She grew slightly nervous when she heard Sana's last statement. Looked tense as well. Jeongyeon
hadn't prepared herself in case the stupid bet really came to that, but just as she was about to voice
her feeling Yves spoke up for them.

"No, we're not doing it." She asserted, probably sensing Jeongyeon's uneasiness. If this was
something real and not just a means to annoy Sana, Yves would definitely be excited to have a date
with her. But she never had any intention of actually pursuing it, especially after Jeongyeon had
already turned her down before. "I just wanted Sana to know that she lost to me. She knows, so
that's good enough for me, thank you."

"I didn't lo-" Sana tried to protest, but Yerim complained louder.

"Oh, come on. We even provide you with the funds!"

"So what? We didn't ask for it, Thing Two."

"But-"

"You guys can split the money among the winners or you can keep it, I don't care what you don't
with it." Yves tried to hand her the cash.

"No, hold up." Sana interrupted again, sounding more serious this time. "I have a better idea, let's
just get it over with."

"Excuse me. Get what over with? You?" Nayeon answered rather impatiently.

"Nobody said it had to be a romantic date." Sana once again ignored Nayeon.

"I think that's implied. It's a date, after all." Yerim spoke up and got a nudge from Momo, shutting
up but mumbling curses under her breath as she stroked her now sore ribs.

"Look, we only have a few days before we go off on our breaks and then we'll be spending weeks
without seeing each other. So how about we enjoy some more bonding quality time together before
that?" Sana went on but not before sending a wink at Dahyun. "Once we get back we can go to that
amusement park Jihyo mentioned the other day. They can spend their date money on food, rides or
whatever. Let's have a group date, all of us. We can invite the rest of the girls and make it a team
activity."

"That's not a bad idea." Jihyo chirped with shit eating grin. "Here, I'll make sure to donate half my
prize so Jeongyeon and Yves can have the best date ever." She handed a few more bills to Yves,
who was way too confused not to take it.

"And after that Yves will keep her word and give up on Jeongyeon for good." Sana rounded off the
last part by casting a not so subtle glance at Jeongyeon's ex. Nayeon was standing cross-armed and
still glaring at her as she leaned against one of the seats in the front. Honestly, Sana thought she
looked two seconds away from ripping someone's head off and she really hoped it was Jihyo's.

"That is, if Jeongyeon doesn't change her mind, of course." Jihyo annoyingly added.

"I mean," Yves eyed Jeongyeon, letting her have the final say on the matter. "It's up to you."

Well, that really wasn't the worst idea. A nice night out with her friends with free food and rides?
Yes, please. Sign her in.

But then Jeongyeon glanced around and didn't feel comfortable with all that attention on her. She
was grateful that a few more people had chosen that time to board the bus and walk past them so
they could get to their seats. It was a good opportunity for Jeongyeon to sneak a subtle glance at
Nayeon, finding her already staring at her, as usual.

Nayeon didn't look upset - or at least not at her, she supposed - so that's good. But she was still
pouting and actually looking sheepish. Maybe even a little apologetic as well? Jeongyeon wasn't
sure and she also didn't know what to do. She was tired of playing the guessing game with Nayeon,
she just wanted to talk to her but how would she do that now, with everyone around?

Jeongyeon wasn't too happy about it either. Not about the group date part really, but why the fuck
would Nayeon get involved in that mess instead of telling her about what was going on behind her
back? But still, even though she was a bit annoyed, Jeongyeon didn't want to end up doing the
wrong thing and hurting Nayeon somehow, no matter how silly it might sound.

Dammit, if only Nayeon could read her mind and at least give a sign...

"Right, so how are we going to do this? Do we all go together or just the couple?" Yerim propped
herself up on the front seat and pressed after the other players had settled in.

"I'm in." Dahyun beamed. "I'm all about team bonding."

"What's going on?" Chaeyoung dazedly asked since she had just hopped in.

"I'll explain later, babe. And yes, we'll be there as well." Tzuyu pulled her girlfriend into the seat
next to her.

"Well, if everyone is game, so am I." Joy also agreed, high-fiving Yerim.

"I mean," The sign she had been waiting for actually came when Nayeon spoke looking directly at
her so there wouldn't be any doubt. "You know I can't say no to cotton candy, so I'm in."

Well then, if Nayeon was okay with that, there was no reason for her to decline.
 If Nayeon was in, so was Jeongyeon.

Chapter End Notes

first off, i ranted about you guys giving jeongyeon a pass last chapter because i have
two close friends who read this story and one of them is on jeongyeon's side while the
other one is on nayeon's. friend number 1 was outraged that no one was calling
jeongyeon out so i wanted to see if anyone felt the same was her. it's pretty fun to
watch them fighting over it just like it's fun to watch you guys defending jeongyeon.
but i'm on both of your sides, tbh

anyways, i know a lot of people were expecting some sort of clash when jihyo found
out about everything, but i think they've been through enough already so i should cut
them some slack
sanayeon is also back at it and now jeongyeon is the one postponing the truth, so now
what??

coming next you can expect a fun, soft, maybe a little hot chapter before nayeon's big
reveal? also, we'll begin to see what's going on in her mind more closely. bye
 the goddamned what ifs
Chapter Summary

As simple as it seemed, that sight somehow stirred something within Nayeon. Just to
see her ex-girlfriend standing there, as beautiful as ever and bundled up warmly on that
cold summer night; with her hair a little tousled and her cheeks flushed after their
recent action; looking at her with the kindest eyes in the world and with her hand
outstretched, just waiting for her to take it. All of that together, every single detail
made her even more sure.

Fuck yeah, Nayeon would fight like hell. Blood, sweat and tears, nothing less.

Chapter Notes

sooo i wrote this chapter before the ttt trailer came out lol
btw we're starting to see a little bit of what's going on in nayeon's head on this one

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Which one?" Jeongyeon held up two hangers displaying the pieces of clothing in front of her
upper body.

"Why are you getting so dressed up for this?" Nayeon grumpily asked. She was lying on the
goalkeeper's bed, duly dressed in boots, jeans and a cardigan.

"What do you mean dressed up? That's literally a flannel, Nayeon. C'mon, just choose."

"Take the hoodie. It's cold outside." She answered draggily and grudgingly. And she was right
because it was atypically chilly for a summer night, but Jeongyeon thought it made sense since
autumn was just around the corner.

"It wasn't so hard, was it?" Jeongyeon turned back to the full-length mirror to put the garment over
her shirt.

Despite being their last day in Yonsei before they get a few well-deserved weeks of rest, Nayeon
had been in a terrible mood. "Whatever."

Technically, they had been discharged and free to go home since they got to Yonsei after the last
game, but while most of the team had already taken off, some of them were still in college and
preparing to leave campus later that week. That's why they agreed to attend the amusement park
that night.

"We can bail. You know that, don't you?" Jeongyeon said as she got a glimpse of Nayeon's pout
through the mirror. It was cute, she thought. Maybe not so much to Nayeon but definitely cute to
Jeongyeon. "We can stay in, just you and me. This is all silly anyway."
Nayeon silently stood up and walked over to Jeongyeon. She wrapped her arms around her waist
and rested her cheek between her shoulder blades.

"It's fine." Her voice came out a little muffled. "Jihyo won't shut up about it. It's the first time we'll
actually get to hang out with her and Sejeong outside one of our apartments. She deserves it."

"Yeah." Jeongyeon set her hands on top of Nayeon's. "Just relax, okay? We're just going out with
our friends, it's not a big deal."

Nayeon sighed but she didn't reply. Instead she leaned her head up and over her ex-girlfriend's
shoulder so she could take a good look at her through the mirror. She let her eyes roam over
Jeongyeon's outfit and then settled for a compliment. "You look good."

Jeongyeon turned around and placed both her hands on Nayeon's shoulders. She shook her off a
little until she managed to get a smile out of her, then she leaned in to plant a lingering peck as she
whispered against her lips. "So do you."

...

"Put her on a leash if you must." Jihyo issued very strict instructions as they walked into the park.
"But don't let her out of our sight at any time!"

"Fuck you??" Nayeon frowned, her tone was not very friendly.

She had spent the last hour between Momo and Dahyun inside Mina's borrowed car, with Sana
behind the wheel and Yerim hollering instructions from shotgun. Jeongyeon, on the other hand,
hitched a ride with Jihyo; Sejeong, Yves and Joy also rode with them on their short trip to a nearby
town while Chaeyoung and Tzuyu tagged along in the third car with the others.

Now, on their way between the parking lot and the small amusement park, Nayeon watched Yves
spring up next to Jeongyeon to ask which ride she wanted to go on first as she waved some of the
goddamn prize money in her hands. So with all this plus Jihyo taunting her as well, anyone could
easily tell that Nayeon's mood definitely wasn't going to get better anytime soon.

"C'mon, it only happened, what, three times? You have to let it go." Nayeon grumpily added.

"Three!? Don't play dumb." Jihyo scoffed. "Nayeon always gets lost when we go to crowded
places. She has the attention span of a five years old." She turned to her girlfriend as they talked.
"If she sees a couple of little colorful lights she just has to walk towards them. It's infuriating."

Jihyo and Sejeong were now holding hands and both of them hadn't been able to hide the big
smiles on their faces since they had left Yonsei. Notwithstanding all the problems of the previous
week, Jennie apparently hadn't found out that Sejeong was the one who helped Jeongyeon out, thus
the message the goalkeeper sent to the other captain hadn't been passed on either. And while
Jeongyeon was pleased that everything had worked out relatively well, some of her friends didn't
share the same feelings, but they all had other things on their minds right now.

"I'd say you don't have to worry about it tonight, Cap." Sana popped up smirking in between the
couple, pulling them away from each other to slip an arm over each of their shoulders. "Just keep
Jeongyeonie close, I'm pretty sure our jelly friend won't be going anywhere." She nodded forward,
towards where Jeongyeon was walking along with Chaeyoung, Tzuyu, and well... Yves, a few
steps further ahead. And yes, Nayeon was scowling at them. But unlike Nayeon, Sana was in an
ungodly good mood. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"Listen, I'm not going to get myself into this. Just remember what I said last time, don't kill each
other or anything like that." Jihyo shoved Sana, pushing her away from Sejeong and dragging her
girlfriend to the other side.

"I'm pretty sure Nayeon will be pushing someone off the ferris wheel tonight." Yerim suddenly
popped up right next to them as well. "Whether it'll be Yves or Sana I'm not sure yet, but I think I'll
be opening a betting pool."

"Look at how cute they look out front! It's like a double date now!" Sana uttered aloud as she
strolled off ahead, making a point of flashing a wink at Nayeon as she walked past her.

"It's gonna be Sana. My money is on her." Dahyun actually opened her wallet to get Yerim some
cash, but Momo patted her hand down and scolded her with a look.

Jihyo rolled her eyes and ignored. All she wanted was to enjoy a nice night out with her girlfriend.

"And that, babe, is what we call a perfect recipe for disaster." Jihyo nodded towards the group
chatting excitedly besides them as she tugged Sejeong's hand and led her towards the ticket booth.

...

"Ferris wheel."

"Bumper cars!"

"Twister!!!"

"Roller coaster?"

"Actually I just wanna grab something to eat first."

"Yeah, please do that so you can throw up on the first ride."

Jihyo immediately regretted it. She had asked which ride they should go first, but she quickly
realized that they would never reach a consensus.

"Well, just try to use the buddy system and keep an eye on your phones. We'll try to meet back here
before midnight." With that most of them broke up into smaller groups and soon disappeared into
the crowd.

"What should we do first?" Momo was already biting a candy apple.

"Oh, haunted house!" Sejeong cheerfully suggested but Jihyo didn't seem so confident. Jeongyeon
was well aware that even though she liked to play the tough one, when it came to those kinds of
things Jihyo was almost as - if not even more - of a scaredy-cat as Nayeon.

"Cool! Let's go together." Dahyun pulled her girlfriend by her free hand. Momo didn't seem too
excited either, but she followed them nevertheless.

"So, how about we try the bumper cars?" Yves proposed. Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Sana and Yerim
were the only ones left. "The line is shorter."

"Fine by me." Jeongyeon agreed but she cast a tentative glance at Nayeon like she was fetching
approval. Her ex-girlfriend nodded and flashed her a brief tight-lipped smile.

It wasn't a secret that Nayeon wasn't pleased about this whole thing, but she knew that she had
played her own part in this mess. She could've said something and put an end to that pesky bet
when she had the chance, but instead she let Sana get in her head and she went as far as putting her
money on her. Fucking stupid move.

But well, the prospect of Yves never landing her eyes on Jeongyeon again was indeed pretty
appealing, she couldn't lie. That idea blinded her for a hot second and eventually she gave in, so if
she's being honest, there was no point in solely blaming Sana. But fuck it, Nayeon wanted to be
mad at someone, so that someone would be her. Fuck Sana.

After they got back to Yonsei a couple of days ago, Nayeon went after Sana to hold a proper talk
with her. Granted, at first said chat consisted in Sana trying to sooth a very angry Nayeon, but
eventually the midfielder managed to put some reason into her mind.

Had she set the girl Nayeon loved up with someone who she wasn't very fond of on a kind-of-date?
Yep, that's a fact, Sana couldn't deny it. But Sana was feeling pretty confident, she explained, she
knew she would score in that game, she just didn't expect that darned Yves would score as well.

And honestly, Nayeon had never been so inclined to talk Coach Bae into pulling someone out of a
match like she wanted to do with Yves in that game, but she couldn't let her jealousy get in the way
of their win, so she obviously didn't do it. And yes, she still regretted it!

"Be cool, it could be worse! It's just a group hangout, no need to freak out." That's what Sana
called it. "Besides, Yves will leave Jeongyeon alone for the rest of the year. I'd say it's totally worth
it!" Nayeon snorted, held back the urge to smack Sana and made her friend pay for her coffee that
day.

"Don't fret, it's not a real date." Jihyo repeatedly said. "It'll be nice! It's been too long since we've
hung out like this!

And Jeongyeon? Of course she scolded Nayeon about it, but her annoyance didn't last long.

"We don't have to do this, you know." Her ex-girlfriend promised more than once, making it clear
that she didn't want to make anyone - read Nayeon - uncomfortable. "I didn't agree to any of that."

But in the end Sana and Jihyo were right.

It wasn't a real fucking date, Nayeon had to remind herself a handful of times. She would be there
the whole time, the whole group would be there actually. Also, Jihyo was way too pumped about
it, she couldn't just screw it up. Everything was fine, it'd all be okay. She just had to survive that
goddamn night.

And okay, maybe Yves wasn't the worst person in the world. Nayeon knew her well enough to
know that she was a decent person at least. At that point she had to know that there was something
going on between Nayeon and Jeongyeon, so it wasn't as if she was actually going to try any funny
business. Did she have a major crush on Jeongyeon? Yes, she did. But so did half the faculty, so
what could she do?

She would suck it up and let it be, that's it. Yves was just a teammate. She and Jeongyeon were
fine. There's nothing to worry about.

But either way, it still wasn't very pleasant to walk behind them and get to watch Yves simping all
over her ex-girlfriend. Occasionally touching her arm and buying her things with that fucking dirty
money.

Ugh, this night's definitely going to be long.

Jeongyeon was naturally polite, of course, she always was. She tried to strike up a conversation
with all of them. Always trying to keep their chat casual and fun, stealing glances and casting
reassuring smiles at Nayeon.

"Free Fall!!!" They had been cruising around for about an hour when Yerim burst out exclaiming
jumping around like a child. "There's no line! Let's go!"

"Of course there's no line, no one wants to get into a death machine." Jeongyeon muttered under
her breath.

"Cool, let's go." Sana prompted them to follow Yerim. She also gave Jeongyeon a little shove so
she would walk closer to Yves as they approached the next attraction.

"Wow." Yerim marveled as she looked up at the ride going down at full speed, her eyes were wide
and her mouth hung a little open.

"Yeah, wow indeed." Jeongyeon did the same, albeit feeling slightly uneasy. They had toured a lot
of different rides up until now, but none of them were... well, as adventurous as this one.

"Are you sure you wanna go on this one?" Nayeon side-glanced Jeongyeon.

She was aware that her ex-girlfriend wasn't really into that particular ride. Well, neither that nor any
other ride that featured such great heights or speed. Every time they had been to an amusement park
before, it had always been the same: Nayeon would plunge into all sorts of hazards while
Jeongyeon always favored safer activities.

"Nope, not at all. I'll wait for you guys down here." Jeongyeon didn't have to think too hard to
come to that conclusion. She would rather stay safe and sound on the ground.

"Good because there are only three spots left." Yerim said as she handed her ticket to the attendant.

"We can go on another one if you want." Yves suggested before following Yerim.

"No, it's fine. I can wait here for a few minutes."

"I'll keep you company." Nayeon promptly offered and pocketed her ticket.

"You know what? You can go too, Nayeon. I just had a hot dog, I don't think this is gonna work."
Sana gave up the last seat for Nayeon, giving her a gentle nudge toward the other girls. "I'll take
care of our girl." She added as she slipped an arm around Jeongyeon and smiled widely. Nayeon
just rolled her eyes and turned back to Jeongyeon.

"You sure you don't wanna do something else?" Nayeon tried again and Jeongyeon shook her head.
"We can eat something in the meantime or-"

"Nayeon, you're going to lose your spot!" Yerim cut her off with a shout as one of the staff
members buckled her belt.

"You love this ride, Nayeon. Go ahead, we'll wait for you here." Jeongyeon ensured with a smile
and Nayeon nodded. Also kissed her cheek before flicking Sana's forehead and sprinting towards
her seat before the midfielder could react.

Jeongyeon and Sana watched as the staff made sure that everyone was safe and bucked up and then
soon enough the ride began to ascend, slowly going up. The three girls up there waved vigorously
and the pair below waved back just as cheerfully.
A chilly breeze blew past them and Jeongyeon grew even happier with her decision to stay down
there. She scooted closer to Sana, who promptly entwined their arms together so that they could
keep each other warm. Or rather to keep Jeongyeon warm since she also knew how easily she'd get
cold.

"I wanna talk to you about something." Sana's voice sounded unusually foreign right next to her.
Her tone was so serious that Jeongyeon could only think of one thing.

"Is it about Mina?"

Mina wasn't there because she had already gone back to Japan. She had flown home to spend the
break with her family a few days ago. Since she wasn't an athlete and had already finished her
exams, Mina had been cleared to go home for some time now. However, as far as Jeongyeon knew,
she had booked the same flight to leave together with fellow compatriots, but something must have
come up since she decided to depart early.

Jeongyeon almost asked Sana what happened, but she opted to ask Mina by text. To what Mina just
replied that she was homesick and that's why she left earlier.

"It's not about her." The way Sana took an extra second to answer didn't go unnoticed by
Jeongyeon.

"But have you talked-"

"It's not about her, Jeong." Sana cut in a bit roughly. She also sighed and Jeongyeon detected a bit
of sadness in her voice. She was sure she would see something similar if she were looking into her
eyes, but she wasn't. Both of them were still standing side by side, looking up at their friends.

"Okay." If she didn't want to talk about it, Jeongyeon wasn't going to push it. She tucked her hands
into her pockets to keep them from freezing. "What is it then?"

"Nayeon." She flatly answered and Jeongyeon was sure Sana felt her body tensing up against hers.
"We went out for lunch."

"I've heard." Nayeon had actually mentioned she was out with Sana the day before. Jeongyeon had
texted her asking if she wanted to hang out, but she was busy that afternoon. "I also know that you
guys have been hanging out more often lately." That's another thing Nayeon had just recently
disclosed in one of their late night talks. "I'm glad you're getting along so well."

"Yeah, me too." She nodded. "We've been talking a lot." Jeongyeon hummed in response. "And she
told me about what happened between you two the night before Jennie's havoc. About the fight
you guys had at the party."

Jeongyeon winced but not because of the chilly wind. Maybe that'd be the right time to turn around
and really look at Sana. To face her and deal with the consequences. Yeah, that's probably the right
thing to do, but there was a certain comfort in having Sana's body pressed against hers, so she
didn't do it.

"Yeah?" It was a rhetorical question. Jeongyeon just didn't know what to say.

She herself had already shared that part of their story with Jihyo when she needed to talk, so she
would never judge Nayeon for needing to talk to someone else as well. But the truth was that
Jeongyeon was embarrassed, she bitterly regretted everything she had said to Nayeon that night.

"Yeah." Then Sana added with such a stern tone that Jeongyeon was pretty sure she had never
heard anything like that coming from the other girl. Or well, at least not when it's being used
against her. "This is probably not my place to say, but I think you were way out of line."

"I know." For a moment she even forgot where they were, but then she looked up again just as the
ride the girls were in came down at full speed. The sudden fall drew screams and laughter from
almost everyone up there, as well as some of the ones around it, waiting for their friends or filming
them from the ground. Jeongyeon forced a smile as she saw Nayeon merrily waving at her. Yves
was also laughing while Yerim was utterly panicked by the speed. "I apologized."

"Yeah, I know all about it too." Sana also tried to smile as the ride was going up again. "I know
you've apologized and I know she said it's okay but I'm also sure she hasn't told you about how she
really feels because she thinks she deserves all that, but she doesn't. So if she's not going to tell you
that then I'll do it for her."

"I know, Sana. I know, you don't have to remind me. She's not- listen, I'm not proud of any of it."
Jeongyeon stammered and felt her heart clench deep inside her chest. She also felt tears pooling in
her eyes, but she didn't want to make a scene. So she just stood there, still, but looked away from
the girls. "I know I fucked up, and if I could take it back-"

"But you can't." Sana released a tired sigh. She seemed kind of upset about having to do that.
"Look, I'm not here to judge you or rub it in your face. Let alone make you feel guilty or anything
like that. I, of all people, am fully aware that Nayeon is no saint. She's done a lot of shitty things
too, and to be completely honest with you in my opinion she still does, but just as I've repeatedly
called her out about it, I also feel obligated to call you out when you're wrong too."

Sana carried on with a sense of purpose. Like she really had done it before.

"Honestly you're both to blame in all of this mess but she'd never- shit, Nayeon would definitely
kill me if she knew I'm doing this right now." She chuckled and shook her head before she went on.
"You see, she hasn't even told me exactly what hit a nerve, but I do know that some of it has to do
with her mother. And you're well aware of the nature of her relationship with that woman, so you
shouldn't bring up things like that so lightly, so callously. She's not easily upset, you know that; but
you, Jeongyeon, you have the power to really hurt her. And you did it again that night, so I just
want you to know that she only let it go so easily because she loves you too damn much."
Jeongyeon felt her knees grow weak. Even though it wasn't coming directly from Nayeon, it still
had an effect on her.

"I know." She repeated for the third? Maybe fourth time? She had lost count.

"I'm just really tired of watching her accepting all the bullshit that life throws at her." Sana took a
brief pause as if she was thinking for a few seconds. Then her gaze fell on the ground as she went
on with a hint of regret. "I know I'm not exactly innocent either, I was pretty hard on her after she
came back. And don't get me wrong, I still can't stand her half the time. She's obnoxiously loud,
annoying and so fucking full of herself sometimes; I mean, how can someone so insecure be such a
narcissist? Jesus. But fuck, she's also one of the most caring and devoted people I've ever met."
Sana came to halt again, her voice choked a little. Jeongyeon knew she tried hard to keep her act in
check because she understood how hard it was for her. So she took it upon herself to say what Sana
really meant.

"I love her too, Sana." She laid a hand over Sana's. "I know I'm not showing that in the best way
lately, but I'm working on it. I'll get it right, I promise."

"You better." Sana tried to sound threatening but she could only sound relieved. She looked back
up and she bumped her shoulder against the goalkeeper's, but this time she already had a smile on
her face. "Because I love you, Jeongyeon. I'd fucking die for you but also, if you pull anything like
that again I'll have to kick your ass. And we both know that I like you way too much to do that."

Jeongyeon chuckled and Sana couldn't help but join. Nayeon too, up there, as the ride started to go
down once again. Yerim, on the other hand, kept screaming in horror.

Deep down all of that was something Jeongyeon needed to hear. Sana had protected her from
Nayeon for a long time, but the truth was that she never needed that. But Nayeon, Nayeon really
needed Sana. And Jeongyeon couldn't be happier to know that Sana was there for her too.

But as they continued to watch their friends having fun, a new rush of worry for a old matter
washed over Jeongyeon once again.

"Sana?"

"Yeah?" She kept her gaze up there.

"I love her." Jeongyeon repeated as if it's something new.

"I know."

"Do you think that's enough?"

"What do you mean?" Sana frowned and finally turned back to Jeongyeon.

"I- I'm not sure, but do you think I am the right person for her??" Her words took even herself by
surprise, but the fear that she might deepen the pain Nayeon already carried kept haunting
Jeongyeon. "Because ever since I heard you guys talking the other day I can't stop thinking about
it. Damn, I know I can't-" Jeongyeon stopped all of a sudden, biting her tongue before she could
say the wrong thing. She didn't want to fucking fix Nayeon, Nayeon didn't need to be fixed. "Help?
I don't know." She sighed in defeat. "I just wonder... what if- what if I'm not what she needs? What
if we're not compatible like we thought? What if our love isn't enough?"

Sana nodded to let her know that she understood what she meant, then she shook her head and took
a deep breath before speaking up.

"Can I be honest?" She asked as if she knew how to be anything but honest, but Jeongyeon nodded
anyway. "The way I see it, you're too anxious most of the time and too damn stubborn for your
own good. And by not acknowledging or dealing with these issues properly, you almost lost her
more than once; besides, for some fucked up reason, you keep thinking that you're not good for
her, which really doesn't make sense to me. Not to mention that every time a bigger problem comes
up, you just freak out instead of trying to talk to her properly, like two grown women should be
able to do. Not that Nayeon is any better; oh, believe me, not at all. She's far too insecure about her
place in other people's lives and guess what? She can't open up for shit either. She tries to carry the
weight of the world on her shoulders because she doesn't want to bother anyone else with her
problems, even if we're right there by her side telling her how much we care."

Yep. That sounded about right. It stung a little to hear it like that, but that's nothing Jeongyeon
didn't already know.

"But in the last few months I've watched you fall in love with her all over again. I mean, I may not
have watched the process the first time around, but I know how much you liked her when we first
met. You were so fucking in love that you wouldn't even notice all those girls simping all over you,
and believe me when I say that it really pissed me off sometimes." Sana chuckled to herself. "And I
didn't get it back then. I didn't understand what it was like to actually like someone enough and
want to be with them, only them. I didn't really grasp that relentless urge you had to go out of your
way to be with her or the drive to make her feel as happy as she made you feel, and-" Sana halted
all of a sudden. Her mind seemed to have gone somewhere else, but she shook her head to snap out
of it. "Anyway, I thought you were kind of crazy, I'm not gonna lie. But now I'll only think you're
crazy if you let her go one more time." She added, patting Jeongyeon back. "You deserve to be
happy, Jeong, and for some reason that insufferable girl really seems to make you happy."

Jeongyeon's heart grew warmer and soothed. She didn't know exactly when Sana had become an
oracle in relationships but damn, she really knew how to use her words.

"But to answer your question, I have seen both of you together and apart. I know you're not exactly
easy on each other, but I think what really matters is that you're good to each other." Sana let go of
her arm and turned to face Jeongyeon. "But only the two of you will be able to tell if just the love
you feel is enough or if you need to work on something else to make it work. Or even if you'll want
to work on it, of course, because maybe you'll end up choosing different paths and that's okay too.
Like Nayeon said, you have to be honest if you wanna figure this all out. So I can't answer that for
you, but just know that I'm really rooting for you guys."

Jeongyeon took a moment to take it all in before looking into Sana's eyes again. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me now, but if everything works out you could give me a really big role in your
wedding so Nayeon gets really annoyed, you know? Like, make me hold the rings or whatever is
easier to make her go nuts thinking I'm gonna ruin it."

Jeongyeon chuckled again. If she ignored the weird shiver that flashed through her body at the
mention of marriage she could say that she was feeling considerably more at ease. Then she slipped
an arm over Sana's shoulder and pulled her closer into a side hug while the other girls were
unbuckling their belts now that the ride had come to an end.

Nayeon still had a huge smile on her face and her hair was all tangled up. Yves also seemed lively
while Yerim was pretty much green.

"But since we're being honest here I feel like I need to tell you something." Sana said as the three
of them walked towards them in small steps. Yerim was in the middle and leaning on both of their
shoulders as her teammates helped her walk. "And you know what, forget about the whole
marriage thing. You can thank me by doing me a favor right now."

"What is it?" Jeongyeon just watched the scene and hoped Yerim wouldn't throw up.

"I paid Yves to be extra clingy with you tonight and that little devil is distracting her from our
original plan. Can you help me get rid of Yerim for the rest of the night?"

Oh, shit.

...

The thrill offered by the last ride didn't last as much as they'd like. It wasn't long until Nayeon's
smile was gone again.

In fact, Sana was pretty sure Nayeon was about to win the award for the world's biggest pout. The
midfielder made that remark aloud to tease her, and if looks could kill, Sana would no longer be
among them anymore.

After roaming around and tagging along for a few more rides, Sana and Yves got themselves
distracted playing around in the shooting gallery. If Yves hadn't been there, Nayeon would
definitely be competing against Sana, but the intruder took over her place. In a way it was good
because since Nayeon wasn't in her best behavior it wouldn't be very wise to put a weapon in her
hands. Even if the gun in question was just a toy, Jeongyeon was pretty sure Nayeon had the
potential to start a third world war right there.

So Nayeon just stood a little further back right next to Jeongyeon, watching the two midfielders
trash talk as they tried to hit their targets, with Yerim in between them prompting even more
trouble. It wasn't long until she felt her hand being tugged, so she turned around and found
Jeongyeon eyeing her with a mischievous grin on her face. It's the kind of smile Nayeon had seen
multiple times before and that's why she knew that it usually meant trouble.

"What?" She suspiciously narrowed her eyes.

"Come with me." Jeongyeon slid her fingers between hers and started to lead the way.

"Where are we going?" She quietly asked but Jeongyeon didn't answer. She just kept smiling and
proceeded to pull Nayeon by the hand, dodging the people coming and going and looking both
ways as if she was being followed. Nayeon took a brief glance over her shoulder to check if any of
their friends had noticed their absence but none of them seemed to be aware that they weren't there
anymore.

At first Nayeon thought she was being led to the cotton candy stand which was set just ahead of
them, but then Jeongyeon detoured and guided her to a passage that looked like an entrance- or
maybe an exit? She wasn't sure, but it was a small gap between two tailers stands. It was quite clear
that Jeongyeon had no idea where they were going. Plus, there was a sign saying that only
authorized people could enter, but still Nayeon followed her until they reached a large and quiet
area, just behind a set of trailers.

The grass over there was thicker, almost reaching their calves, and without the hundreds of people
wandering around that place also felt cooler. The grounds were vast and bare like a big private
parking lot. Barring a few trailers and more equipment that probably belonged to the park staff, the
whole place was kind of dark and nearly empty. Jeongyeon's eyes scanned the surroundings like
she was looking for something, she still had her back turned to Nayeon and hadn't spared her a
single glance.

"Jeong?" Nayeon called out just as her ex-girlfriend quit fetching whatever she was looking for, but
she didn't get to ask what they were doing there because Jeongyeon suddenly turned around and
yanked her closer.

Her body crashed into Nayeon's and took her by surprise as Jeongyeon's arms found her way
around her in no time. Nayeon barely had time to catch the smirk on her face before she leaned in
and that was enough for her to get her ex-girlfriend's intentions.

But still, no amount of anticipation could ever prepare her for this. The kiss that came next still had
the power to astonish all of her senses.

And here's the thing, Jeongyeon was a good kisser. A great one, if you ask Nayeon. Perhaps
somebody else could try and argue that she was only saying that because she had no experience
other than Jeongyeon, but she would probably just tell them to fuck off because why the hell would
she ever seek in anyone else what she knew she would only find on her?

For instance, from the very moment their lips met, she could have sworn she felt both refreshed and
weak to her knees at once. It was magic, every time. She would never get used to it, thankfully.
From the sweet way Jeongyeon would always smile mid-kiss when she felt Nayeon melting into it,
to the deliberately mischievous way she would place one of her hands on the small of Nayeon's
back to pull her closer and keep their hips pressed together. Or how she knew exactly when to use
her tongue to soothe the skin after a particularly harder bite, to the way she deftly bobbed her head
every time she wanted to deepen the kiss.

"Wow." That's all Nayeon could muster when Jeongyeon backed away just enough so that they
could breathe. Yeah, wow indeed, they hadn't had one of those in a while.

She took a step back and her back touched the trailer right behind her, and Jeongyeon followed
along since she wasn't willing to let go of her that easily. Nayeon trailed her fingers along each of
Jeongyeon's arms until she reached down and got a hold of her hands. She gave them gentle
squeeze and got the same in response; that was enough to ground her a bit. Then Jeongyeon placed
a finger on Nayeon's chin and tilted her face up.

"Is this okay?" Jeongyeon asked just to be sure. Not that she needed it because the simple fact that
she could practically see the flames burning in Nayeon's eyes was more than enough.

"It's more than okay." Nayeon confirmed what she already knew by nodding vigorously and feeling
even more flustered because hearing her asking was hot as hell and Jeongyeon knew exactly what
she was doing when she kissed her again. Even more eager this time and if Nayeon hadn't been
leaning against the trailer she was sure she would have fallen by now.

Jeongyeon moved the hand that had been previously on her chin to cup the side of her neck in the
perfect way so that her fingertips lightly brushed against the hair in her nape, arousing in Nayeon
even more feelings that were hardly appropriate for that moment.

But Nayeon kissed her back just as eagerly. She slid her hand inside Jeongyeon's coat but kept it
over her shirt, also tightened the grip on her waist to try to get a hold of all the overwhelming
sensations coursing through her body. But none of that was any help when Jeongyeon reached for
Nayeon's hand, interlacing their fingers and pressing the back of her hand next to her head at the
same pace she was pressing Nayeon herself against the trailer.

For a few seconds she forgot absolutely everything. Where they were, who was there, the fact that
anyone could show up- shit, that they were in public, for fuck's sake. But none of that seemed to
matter, not when Jeongyeon was kissing her like that. Her mind was entirely taken by the feeling of
Jeongyeon's body against hers, her heavenly tongue inside her mouth and her ever so precise
touches. Oh, and that fucking leg that found its way between her thighs, and goddamn it, she
needed to get a grip soon or else-

"Alright. I think that will do." Jeongyeon broke off the kiss, but she still didn't pull away. All she
did was lean even closer to wrap Nayeon into a hug, hooking her arms around her back and resting
her chin on her shoulder. She also kept her eyes closed as if she was on cloud nine.

"Where did that come from?" Nayeon managed to pull herself together enough to ask.

"I've been meaning to kiss that pout off your lips all night." Jeongyeon answered with what Nayeon
would easily call the sexiest voice in the world right next to her ear, still panting a little. "But I'm
sorry if I got a little carried away."

Yeah, you should be. Nayeon didn't say it, but she could still feel Jeongyeon's warm breath against
the cold skin of her neck. It didn't help much in her effort to stem the growing pressure building
inside her lower stomach.
"Now let's go before Sana realizes we're gone." Jeongyeon pulled away altogether and Nayeon
immediately missed the contact. She almost felt cold after having the warmth of Jeongyeon's body
on hers for so long, but the main problem that the lack her touch caused wasn't the chill, it's the
fucking frustration.

Because if she's being honest, all Nayeon really wanted to do was to flip the bird at Sana and tell
that ridiculous group date to fuck off as well. And of course, send even major fuck you at Yves in
special. After that she would like nothing more that take her ex-girlfriend home and make sweet
love to her all night because it's been to fucking long and she knew Jeongyeon wanted it just as
much as her. She fucking felt it.

But then again they couldn't, or at least not yet. They had a lot of talking to do. Work things
through, sort it out, you know, the whole fucking nine yards.

Nayeon had been there before, she couldn't afford to repeat the pattern. She couldn't just focus on
the physical stuff when things got harder, ignore the bad feelings and hope they would pass on
their own like they did when they started to drift apart the first time. Couldn't ignore the signs and
their silent pleas for help. Couldn't keep making the same mistakes again.

Quite the contrary, she was tired of living in fear and doubts, too afraid about actions, reactions and
situations she had no control over.

Now she wanted to talk and be honest about how she really felt. She wanted to go over everything
that sent them crumbling down in the past and settle every single issue. She'd leave no stone
unturned in the search for the hows and whys they fell apart so it would never happen again. She
wanted to open up about her worries without the nagging feeling that maybe she might be too
much. Without the relentless fear that everyone around her deserved a life free of her drama.

All she wanted was to live without the sense that one day the people she loved might just wake up
and realize that she was too much trouble to keep around.

Nayeon had already allowed these dreadful feelings to dominate her for too long. She was no
longer going to stand by and let it rob her of what she really wanted. No, now she was ready to
fight for the life she longed for. Whether she deserved it or not was a totally different story, but this
time she would definitely fight harder.

"Nayeon?" Jeongyeon's voice pulled her back and she realized that she had probably been staring
for too long. But the soft smile on her face showed that even if Jeongyeon did notice that she had
zoned out, she didn't mind. "C'mon, the girls are probably looking for us already."

As simple as it seemed, that sight somehow stirred something within Nayeon. Just to see her ex-
girlfriend standing there, as beautiful as ever and bundled up warmly on that cold summer night;
with her hair a little tousled and her cheeks flushed after their recent action; looking at her with the
kindest eyes in the world and with her hand outstretched, just waiting for her to take it. All of that
together, every single detail made her even more sure.

Fuck yeah, Nayeon would fight like hell. Blood, sweat and tears, nothing less.

"Fuck them." She finally pushed herself off the trailer and playful jerked Jeongyeon's hand away.
Her tone was too soft and didn't match her attitude, Nayeon just tried to joke around to try and
mask the overwhelming emotional toll she suddenly felt.

"Hey, I thought we had settled the pout issue. And the bad mood too." Jeongyeon teased back as
Nayeon tried to smooth her clothes a little.
"One more kiss and I'll be good, I promise." She pursed her lips at the other girl, tilted her face up,
closed her eyes and waited.

Jeongyeon snorted but didn't even try to hide her grin as she once again cupped her jaw in her hand.
Nayeon's eyes were still shut so she let herself appreciate her girlfriend's- shit, ex-girlfriend's
features for a couple seconds. She had to keep herself from telling her just how beautiful she
looked right now, but she still leaned in to place a single peck on the tip of her nose before letting
go of her altogether.

Nayeon heard footsteps and dazedly opened her eyes just to find Jeongyeon walking off the same
path they had come in. She also heard her mumbling something before she could get a word out.
"You didn't say where."

"It was implied!" Nayeon whined and ran to catch up with her. Once she got closer she repeatedly
nudged her ribs to display all of her faux annoyance when the truth was that it was impossible to be
upset after all that.

They walked back to the shooting gallery as they chatted. Nayeon was planning which utterly
dangerous attraction she would ride next - Jeongyeon's words - while the goalkeeper just wanted a
snack break.

On their way, from afar, Jeongyeon spotted Jihyo and Sejeong walking together a little further on.
The captain could barely keep her giggles in check as her girlfriend was pulling her by the hand.
The couple came to a stop in a line and Sejeong wrapped her arms around her, spinning Jihyo
around to kiss her as they waited for their turn. Jihyo smiled between kisses as she held her even
closer, entirely oblivious to the world around them.

Jeongyeon was overjoyed to see Jihyo smiling like that. She made a mental note to tease her about
it later, but it was really nice to see her best friend genuinely happy. But it also made her even
angrier at Jennie for keeping them from it because of a fucking petty fight.

"She's happy." Nayeon said as if reading her thoughts.

"Yeah, she is." Jeongyeon had to take a double look to make sure that Nayeon was actually
watching the same scene as her. "So you like Sejeong now?"

"I didn't say that. I gotta get a one on one with her before I can give my verdict."

"It's impossible to please you."

"You know that's not true." Nayeon cast her one of those looks, but then she shrugged and looked
straight ahead. "I just want the best for her."

"I know." Jeongyeon blushed but her voice probably came out too wistful. Nayeon realized
something was off and shot her a questioning glance. Jeongyeon chose to be honest, she was
finding it increasingly easier to do that with Nayeon. "I'm just thinking about how much I really
hate Jennie. If it wasn't for her, Jihyo and Sejeong wouldn't have to sneak around. They could have
moments like this more often."

"I know." Nayeon sighed and her tone grew more serious. "I'm working on it."

"You're what??" Jeongyeon frowned. She stopped in her tracks and turned to Nayeon, but she didn't
have enough time to get an answer.

"Where the hell were you?!" Sana popped up to interrupt. She was standing right behind them,
tapping her foot imposingly and holding her arms tightly crossed against her chest.

Nayeon answered a plain "bathroom" at the same time Jeongyeon hastily said "we're getting more
tickets."

Great. The two of them looked at each other in a bit of exasperation.

"Oh, so you guys went to buy more tickets in the bathroom? That's interesting." Sana narrowed her
eyes at them with an annoying knowing look.

"That's none of your business." Nayeon grumbled and made a point of shoulder checking Sana as
she walked past her. "Just give me a break, will you?"

"I had to entertain your date while you were gone, Jeongyeonie. That's quite rude of you." Sana
ironically added as she nodded towards Yves. Said girl was wholly distracted playing in the same
shooting gallery, only now she was playing against Yerim instead.

"She's not my-" Jeongyeon was about to protest but she gave up halfway through it. She even threw
her hands up in surrender. "You know what? I give up. Anyway, we're here now, what are we
doing next?"

"Let's grab something to eat. You said you're hungry, let's go." Nayeon answered and took the lead.
Sana beckoned Yves and Yerim closer before they all followed the intern.

Jeongyeon's hands were tingling and longing to entwine her fingers with Nayeon's, but she fought
it off and just trailed her until they reached the food section of the park, meeting some of their
teammates there as well.

"You guys won't believe what just happened!" Chaeyoung blurted out in excitement as soon as she
saw them drawing closer.

"Dude, just shut up! Shut up, for real." Momo, on the other hand, matched her energy. Dahyun and
Tzuyu were also there, both trying hard to hold back their laughter, but Chaeyoung didn't share the
same concern.

"What is it?" Sana prompted. Naturally, she wouldn't miss a chance to get into Momo's business.

"Momo! She- she took off, and- haunted house. And Dahyun- oh my Gosh- she just ran."
Chaeyoung could barely speak because of how hard she was laughing. She clutched her sides and
leaned over Nayeon who was now sitting right next to her as she tried to get a hold of herself so she
could speak.

"Hey, get off me." Nayeon gently nudged her away, trying to keep Chaeyoung from lying on top of
her.

"What's wrong with her?" Jeongyeon asked Dahyun as she pointed at her girlfriend. Momo had a
scowl on her face, entirely opposite to the cheerful mood she had been in when they first got there.
But Dahyun couldn't answer, just shook her head and bit her lip to fight back her own grin.

"It was an accident!" Momo all but screamed.

"It's alright, babe. It's okay, it's the thought that counts." Dahyun sat with one leg on each side of
the bench, hooking her arms around Momo and trying to hug her.

"How would I know!? It's all dark in there!!"

"She just ran away!!!" Chaeyoung burst into laughter once again and Tzuyu finally joined her.

"Okay, is any of you going to tell us what happened or what?" Yerim bitched impatiently.

"Long story short." Tzuyu took pity on them and started among giggles. "Momo gave up going to
the haunted house with Jihyo and Sejeong earlier, but she ended up going in with us after Chaeng
found out she chickened out and teased her about it. But when we were inside, something managed
to really scare her out so she grabbed Dahyun's hand and took off towards the exit. Except that
when she got outside she realized that she was dragging one of the park's employee's dressed as
Kaonashi all the way out while Dahyun was still in there."

"No!!!" Sana gasped.

"She didn't!" Nayeon was just as appalled.

"She was right behind me! How was I supposed to know it wasn't her?!" Momo whined but it was
too late. They all laughed as Momo tried to make up more excuses that ranged from "I was keeping
the danger away from her!!!" to "but both of their hands are the same size!"

"Damn, I'd pay to see that." Nayeon thought out loud as she wiped her wet eyes.

"Don't they have cameras in there?" Sana asked as she cheerfully patted Nayeon's arm.

"We should totally check!" Nayeon was already up to her feet and Sana trailed behind her. The pair
was off leaving an even more flushed and flustered Momo behind.

Jeongyeon just let them be while she tried to eat, but whenever someone else came in and the story
was repeated, she'd burst out laughing once again. Momo just sighed and fought the urge to kick
whoever's ass was telling this time. Not even Dahyun's tender caresses and reasurences managed to
ease her pout for the rest of the night, but still, that not-date was a great time for each one of them.
The perfect way to wrap up the semester.

...

It was supposed to be just a few weeks of vacation, but Sana and Momo bid goodbye to the girls as
if they were about to go off to war. Lingering hugs, promises of texts and even a few tears in
between. Their flight was only set to take off later that night, but Nayeon, Jeongyeon and Jihyo
were leaving for their road trip back home after the last official group lunch of that term.

If all went well they would be arriving in their hometown by early evening, so Jeongyeon invited
them to join her for dinner at her parents' restaurant. As usual, Nayeon's father was out of town, so
she had let them know that she would spend some of her break at her grandmother's place, who
lived a few towns away. Both Jeongyeon and Jihyo offered their homes for her to stay, but Nayeon
declined since she hadn't seen her grandma in a while, saying she really missed her and wanted to
spend some time over there.

"Jeongyeon?" Nayeon bluntly called without taking her eyes off the road. She was driving Jihyo's
car with Jeongyeon right next to her while the owner of the vehicle was fast asleep in the back seat.

"Yeah?" The goalkeeper turned the music down so she could hear her better. They had just gotten
off the highway, soon enough they would be home.

"Can we talk tonight?" She didn't have to say any further to let Jeongyeon know exactly what she
was talking about.
"I thought you'd want to do that after you got back from your grandma's?" Her mouth went dry at
the thought.

"Me too, but I think it's better if I stay there a little longer." Nayeon sheepishly confessed. She even
took a brief glance at the girl next to her to gauge her reaction. "I mean the whole time." She made
a face as she carried on. "I'll spend the whole break over there. Her driver is picking me up later
tonight and I'll be heading back to Seoul after our time off is over, but I won't be dropping by here
again anytime soon."

"Oh." Jeongyeon didn't see this coming. Previously, Nayeon had planned to spend at least the first
week off at home, so Jeongyeon had already made plans for that period as well.

Jeongyeon wanted Nayeon to spend time with her family again. She hadn't spoken to her parents
yet, but she was sure that everyone in her household missed her. She also wanted to take Nayeon
out and repeat some of the dates they used to have back when they first started dating. She wanted
to make her ex-girlfriend remember why she fell in love with her in the first place.

Which was a little weird, Jeongyeon realized as she thought about it, because she herself couldn't
pinpoint the exact moment she fell for Nayeon. But could Nayeon possibly know when she started
to like her? Or could anyone at all tell the exact moment their feelings for someone arised?

Well, Jeongyeon definitely didn't know, but looking back now she could make a list of occasions
where she should have figured out that her feelings for Nayeon were somehow different.

For instance, she should've known back in middle school when she insisted on walking Nayeon to
each one of her classes everyday. She always used the excuse that someone had to be there to
smooth things over when her morning grumpiness scared the other kids when the truth was that she
liked the way their hands brushed against each other along the way; should've realized when she
tried not to laugh too hard at her jokes even when Jihyo was cracking up because she didn't want
anyone to notice how thoroughly charmed she really was by the her personality; should've known
better by the way something always seemed to bother her from the pit of her guts every time she'd
saw Nayeon blushing at someone else's compliments.

So yeah, she should've realized it sooner but she didn't because she could be so fucking oblivious
sometimes. And she just knew that it had gotten under Nayeon's skin for far more times than she'd
like to admit even though she'd never be upset about it. Either way, bless her for never giving up
even when Jeongyeon gave her every reason to.

It wasn't until Nayeon had the nerve to step up and come closer with her eyes boring into hers to
close the distance between them for the first time, both physically and emotionally, that Jeongyeon
realized just how enamored she was with Im Nayeon.

But all it took was a single kiss. Of course, everything that came after that was remarkable as well,
but only one kiss was enough to fucking open her eyes.

And since then Jeongyeon belonged to her. Truly, undeniably and thoroughly. Even when Nayeon
didn't know, even when Jeongyeon didn't want to, even when she stupidly tried to seek solace in
other people, none of it mattered because Jeongyeon had been hers since day one. Deep down she
knew she always would be, there was no denying it anymore.

That's endearing at the same time it's scary as hell because what if she comes to terms with all of
that only to lose her again? Because the first- or rather the second time around, what made
Jeongyeon keep going was the fact that she had convinced herself that she could get over Nayeon;
but what about now that she knew for sure that's actually impossible? What if she went through all
 this trouble just to blow it again?

But you know what? Those what ifs it's what had been holding her back for the longest time. The
things she kept to herself it's what drove her away from the person she loved.

Since back then, when it was what if something really changed? What if we're no longer on the
same page? What if she doesn't love me the same way anymore?

Up until now with the what if we can't fix it? What if the damage is too bad? What if we are
doomed to an eternal cycle of coming together and drifting apart?

So fuck all those doubts, fuck the goddamned what ifs, she was too fucking tired of living like that.
Whatever it was, that's a risk she's willing to take to break the damn cycle, or rather yet, to prevent
it from becoming one.

"Okay." Jeongyeon nodded and laid a hand over Nayeon's on the dashboard between the two seats
as kept her eyes fixed on the road. She held a sense of conviction that she hadn't felt in a long time.
"Let's do it. Tonight then."

Because now all she needed was Nayeon by her side and she knew they were gonna make it.

Now she was sure.

Chapter End Notes

ok, so no rants today, we're good.

but i wanna share that i finally decided how i'm going to wrap up this story. i'm
relieved because i was a little worried about my latest writers block but now i'm fine
so just wait for it (and hope that both my job and my college grant me some peace so i
can write)

also, i need to know what you wanna see first: the 2yeon talk or the long awaited
nayeon's pov? since i'm still finishing this part i can work both ways, so let me know
and i'll see what i can do
 you might wanna sit
Chapter Summary

Standing there, in a far corner of her own bedroom, and watching her first love go
through their stuff was a scene Jeongyeon thought she would never see again. The
funny thing was that there had been many episodes like this lately. Moments where
she realized that she had been privileged to be experiencing again things which she
believed she had lost for good.

But was it even still an option? To lose all of it forever? Jeongyeon didn't want to think
about the downsides anymore, she was trying to get better at it too. She had spent too
many months mulling it over and thinking about everything that could possibly go
wrong. Days and nights painting Nayeon as the villain just to have an easy way out
and yet all roads lead her into her arms just the same.

Chapter Notes

since i am a woman of the people, democracy won. let's go with the talk before
anything else
honestly, expect the expected. i think you saw it coming even though none of you were
brave enough to call me out on it

See the end of the chapter for more notes

As previously planned, the three of them had dinner at Jeongyeon's family restaurant. To Nayeon's
surprise, Jeongyeon's parents were thrilled to see her, just as they were happy to see Jihyo and their
own daughter as well.

Since Jeongyeon knew that if she had told the whole truth to her family they would definitely be
having a falling out with Nayeon, she never really got into the details about the reasons for their
breakup. Even if she felt hurt along with all the other bad feelings she endured back then,
Jeongyeon also felt like she couldn't make the only people Nayeon ever considered family
suddenly hate her. So she lied saying that they agreed that a long-distance relationship wouldn't
work. Told them that it was a mutual decision and that she was fine with it. She also said that even
though it hurt at the time, they both knew it was for the best. So yeah, she lied a lot.

The only time they ever questioned anything was a few weeks after the breakup when Jeongyeon
went back home alone in the middle of the night to get all the memories of Nayeon out of her
room. But afterwards, Jeongyeon managed the situation by saying it was just "part of the process"
of getting over her, which apparently was enough for her family to buy it.

But tonight, Jeongyeon's parents had their employees take over for a couple of hours while they
took their seats at the table to enjoy the new company. The dinner was nice and pleasant although
Mr. Yoo scolded his daughter for never mentioning that Nayeon was back in the country, but
Jeongyeon sheepishly apologized and claimed that the topic never came up. Mrs. Yoo, in turn,
subtly - well, at least subtly for her, not so much for her daughter - tried to ask if Jeongyeon and
Nayeon were back together, to which Nayeon just smiled politely and vaguely said that for now
she was just happy to be back home, while Jeongyeon blushed deeply by her side. But then Nayeon
held Jeongyeon's hand under the table and that was enough to soothe her a bit.

Jihyo made sure that the Stanford topic was kept out of the evening's discussions so that Nayeon
wouldn't have to lie to her former in-laws. The captain kept the conversation focused on the events
of the last semester while Nayeon showered them with compliments about their meal and
Jeongyeon browsed between the two of them. By the way, that was the first time Jeongyeon was
sure that Jihyo did know some of the things Nayeon was hiding, but still she chose not to think
about it too much. She was just grateful to have someone else on her side.

By the end of dinner, Jihyo drove Jeongyeon and Nayeon to the former's house before finally going
back to her own. As always, Jeongyeon told her she was welcome to stay with them since her best
friend was never too eager to go home, but she probably sensed what was coming because she
declined the offer and opted to go home to give the former couple some privacy. Jeongyeon didn't
know whether to thank her or to beg her to stay.

There were a lot of things going through Jeongyeon's mind as she closed the door to her bedroom.
She was thinking back to all the events that had led them up to this moment. She wondered if
Nayeon was really willing to open up and whether she was even ready to listen herself. She even
pondered if this was really the best place to do it.

Jeongyeon's parents weren't home, they never left the restaurant before midnight, but perhaps they
should go to Nayeon's place instead? Maybe she would feel more comfortable if things escalated
and she had to leave? But well, Jeongyeon's older sister currently lived across town while her
younger sister had yet to come home from her very first semester at college, so here was good too,
they had the whole house to themselves for a few hours.

"Jeongyeon?" Nayeon snapped her out of her thoughts. Deep down Jeongyeon knew her mind was
only wandering off like that because she was way too nervous.

"Sorry, I spaced out." Jeongyeon shook her head and tried to focus on the girl in front of her. She
found her standing in the middle of the bedroom, peering around and looking a little displaced,
which was odd because Jeongyeon always thought she belonged there.

Those walls were once filled with polaroids and memories of the two of them, but Nayeon glanced
around and found not a single one of them. Fair enough, she thought. Just like Jeongyeon's room in
Seoul, this one was also full of Jeongyeon. But only Jeongyeon and Jeongyeon alone, not Nayeon
and Jeongyeon like it used to be.

"Did- did you throw it all away?" Nayeon couldn't help but ask. Jeongyeon took a deep breath,
finally managing to move again. She didn't say anything, but headed straight to her closet. Opened
it and pulled out a box that was much, much bigger, unlike the small box she kept in her apartment
in Seoul. She brushed off the dust and placed it on the study table.

"I couldn't." She opened the box. Nayeon drew closer and with a brief nod of approval from
Jeongyeon she proceeded to rummage through the belongings inside. "There's more stuff in the
basement. Some clothes, uh, stuffed animals and stuff like that. Other things that were too big for
this box."

Jeongyeon didn't know exactly why she was feeling embarrassed. It wasn't like she didn't have the
right to get rid of Nayeon's tokens when she was heartbroken. And she really considered throwing
all of it in the trash, but she never could bring herself to do it.
"I wish you would've tossed this one out." She flashed one of the polaroids which showed Nayeon
in a not so cute angle, being crushed by a tight hug from Jihyo while Jeongyeon squeezed her
cheeks on the other side.

While they still lived here, Nayeon complained about the existence of that picture on a daily basis.
She threatened to tear it apart every time she stood in front of her then-girlfriend's mural, but she
never actually got around to doing it. Jeongyeon couldn't help but smile at her pout, but soon
Nayeon was back at going through the dozens of pictures inside the box.

Jeongyeon stayed back and gave her some space. They had a goal tonight, Nayeon was well aware.
There was no need to rush it or make her uncomfortable for wanting to revisit a bit of the past
before whatever was about to happen. So Jeongyeon walked around the room and took off her coat,
she also put her travel bag away and noticed that Nayeon had already set hers in the same place
she'd always put her backpack whenever she spent the night over at her place, just like the old
times.

Great, that alone was enough to make Jeongyeon feel like crying. She knew she would end the
night crying anyway, but it felt weird to be there and doing this after all this time. Still, she couldn't
take her eyes off Nayeon for even a second.

Standing there, in a far corner of her own bedroom, and watching her first love go through their
stuff was a scene Jeongyeon thought she would never see again. The funny thing was that there had
been many episodes like this lately. Moments where she realized that she had been privileged to be
experiencing again things which she believed she had lost for good.

But was it even still an option? To lose all of it forever? Jeongyeon didn't want to think about the
downsides anymore, she was trying to get better at it too. She had spent too many months mulling
it over and thinking about everything that could possibly go wrong. Days and nights painting
Nayeon as the villain just to have an easy way out and yet all roads lead her into her arms just the
same.

Honestly, she no longer cared about the intrusive thoughts lingering in the back of her mind. The
ones that made them drift apart even before their relationship came to an end. The same nagging
thoughts that pestered her every night away from Nayeon and induced the worst nightmares after
she left. The ones which had been her biggest concern for months on end during Nayeon's absence.
But since she returned these worries have now been changed.

The reason for her absence was more important than that; the truthfulness of Nayeon's feelings
towards her as well; recently, her concerns had also gone back to Nayeon's mother too - because
no, there was no way that woman was up to any good; and more importantly now, after hearing all
those things Nayeon had told Sana, her biggest concern was whether she had made Nayeon feel as
if she was anything but loved. Because if she really had made a mistake in that regard, that was
another problem she would've to deal with herself.

A few minutes went by and Nayeon kept quietly scanning the items in the box, making a funny
remark once in a while as Jeongyeon mostly hummed in response. The content consisted mostly in
photos, but there were also a few pieces of jewelry and other stuff Nayeon had gifted to her.
Letters, notes and drawings as well. A whole world of memories to process.

Nayeon also found a small notebook at the very bottom of the box. Although small, it looked quite
worn and dented. The pages were already yellowed and stained. Even the black cover was in a
rough shape.

Besides half of the pictures she had printed out herself, that was probably the only thing in that
entire box that Jeongyeon hadn't gotten from Nayeon as a gift. So she opened it and flipped to a
random page, seeing a few words written and feeling her stomach drop as soon as she read it.

"What's that?" She closed the notebook and held it up.

"Huh?" Jeongyeon realized all too late what her ex-girlfriend had found. "Oh." She stepped
forward as soon as she recognized the item, held out her hand and Nayeon immediately handed it
back to her. "I just..." Jeongyeon gulped and looked away from Nayeon for the first time, staring at
the small notebook in her hands. "You wrote me a letter." She said as if that sentence alone
explained everything.

"I did." Nayeon frowned and waited for her to continue.

"So I wrote you a few things as well." She elaborated but still didn't manage to look at Nayeon.
"Well, not exactly to you, I never meant for you to see that. I just... I needed to take some things out
of my chest so I... wrote it down." Jeongyeon tried hard not to stutter. "It helped me to..." Move on?
Who the hell was she trying to fool? "It helped me accept, I guess. But I stopped after a while and I
left here on my last break."

"I'm sorry." Nayeon apologized. "I didn't realize it was a journal so I ended up reading a bit."

"It's okay. You couldn't have known." Nayeon nodded and set the box aside. She stepped away
from the study table and awkwardly walked around as one of her hands brushed against the wall.
Jeongyeon put the journal away before turning to Nayeon again. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a little overwhelmed."

"You can sit if you like." Jeongyeon offered. "Do you want some water or-"

"I really don't know how to start, Jeongyeon." Nayeon cut her off with a confession.

"Don't worry, just let it come to you." Jeongyeon replied right away, but then a new sense of panic
came over her and she almost made the mistake of putting it off once again. "But if you need more
time, that's fine too. We can just enjoy our breaks and talk after-"

"No, we gotta do this tonight. We won't be seeing each other for a while." Nayeon cut her off again
and Jeongyeon tensed up upon hearing those words. "I meant that I'm going to my grandma's, like
we talked about in the car." She quickly added but it didn't ease the tightness in Jeongyeon's heart.
"We won't see each other over the break, we gotta get this over with."

"Why?" Her voice came out as a whisper, almost like a plea. The memory of Nayeon leaving her
last time with a similar excuse ran like a flashback in the back of her mind.

"I miss her." Nayeon candidly replied. "I haven't seen her in over a year and I think... I think it's
going to be better for you if you have some time away to process all of this. I think I'm going to
need it too."

"Okay." She nodded even though she didn't agree. But remembering Nayeon said that she didn't
know how to begin, Jeongyeon tried to help her out. "You can start with the things you remember
first, I guess. I don't mind if you need to go back and forth, we have time." Jeongyeon tried to
reassure her even though she was a nervous wreck herself. "I don't... look, I know I don't have a
good precedent when it comes to this, but I'm not storming or running away this time. I'll stay
through and listen to everything you have to say, I promise." She did her best to convey all the
sincerity she meant and it probably helped because Nayeon finally sat down on her bed.
"Don't you wanna sit?" Nayeon patted the place next to her. She was feeling uncomfortable with
the distance between them and Jeongyeon also wished they were closer, but they both felt like
something was holding them back.

"I'm good, thanks." Jeongyeon crossed her arms and just right stood there.

"Right." Nayeon bit her lip so hard she could've drawn blood. She also didn't look at Jeongyeon as
she whispered a here goes nothing under her breath before speaking aloud. "So... when we went off
to college I had a plan for us. I wanted to do things the right way- that's all I ever wanted. But back
then I had... um, I had a lot of bad thoughts within myself... and- and I still do, I guess. A little. I
mean, it's different now, but they're still here, you know? It's hard to explain." She cast Jeongyeon
a brief glance before moving on, but then she immediately went back to staring at her own hands.
"Like those things I told Sana, for instance, it wasn't just to try to make her feel better. I didn't just
say them, Jeongyeon, every word's true. And I know it took me a long time to understand it, and
fuck, it also took me some time away and a whole lot of therapy to sort it out, but I understand it
better now. Not completely, not yet. But better, for sure."

The last part held a hint of wit and humor which she always used to soothe the topic whenever they
were talking about something she thought was too serious. Very Nayeon-like, by the way, but
Jeongyeon still heard the earnestness in her words.

"I used to think that all my troubles were my mother's fault. But- well, yeah, she's the blueprint and
she played a big part in all of that. But she's not... I mean, I can't blame her for the decisions I
made." Jeongyeon crossed her arms even tighter. She wanted to reach out and touch her, hug her,
but she promised she would listen quietly, she didn't want to get in the way. "But back then I really
thought that getting her out of my life would solve everything. Thought it'd make all the bad
feelings go away. That's why I cut her off when we first went to Yonsei. It was our new beginning,
the first step to the rest of our lives." A wistful smile broke out on her face before she sadly added.
"But as time went by I realized that it was far more complex than that."

Jeongyeon fidgeted uneasily in the same place. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other,
feeling unaccountably awkward.

"It was hard from the very start, you were there, you know. But after a few more months…
dammit, I don't know, I think it got worse around the time the second term began. We were just so
exhausted because of the season. And then the exams and everything else, really. We went into the
playoffs with injured players, important pieces of our team were missing, and it was all so fucking
stressful." She shook her head as if she was trying to shake off the memories as well. "To be honest
I don't remember exactly how it started, but I know that things kept escalating until it became a big
snowball. At one moment we were fine, we were good and... we were us. But then one thing led to
another and the next thing I know is that we never talked about our problems anymore. Or hardly
about anything at all." She paused, releasing a long, sad sigh. "And then the Stanford offer came
along and made everything worse."

Jeongyeon remembered that day as if it's yesterday, when the good news arrived. The formal offer
was personally delivered by the dean after their playoff spot was secured on the last game of their
regular season, just weeks before the injury that sent Nayeon to Busan happened.

It was a blast at first. Nayeon was excited. Jeongyeon was proud. Heck, even Coach Bae was
thrilled. So was Jihyo and all her other friends and teammates. Of course it was Nayeon's merit, but
it was also a great honor for the university overall. Plus, it also put Nayeon one step closer to the
professional career she had dreamed of since she was a child.

However, a few days later, after the initial surprise wore off, the hard reality gradually started to
catch up to Nayeon. She had only a few months to make a big life decision about her future.
Whether she would stay in her comfort zone or whether she would take a chance abroad. It sounded
like a pretty obvious choice, but to her it was actually far from it.

"It wasn't just about you, Jeong. Of course you were also included when I started weighing it all,
but there was a lot of other stuff, too." Nayeon kept talking slowly, like she was still choosing the
right words. "I felt… I felt under so much pressure. Dad wanted me to go, he was pretty much
booking my flight already. The dean personally talked to me so he obviously wanted me to go as
well. Everyone on the squad saw it as a blessing. It felt like everybody else thought it was an
obvious choice, but no one seemed to understand the hard part." She shook her head one more time.
"The part where I would have to say goodbye to everyone I loved and go to a completely different
country. A different language, a different time zone, a completely different culture… I mean, shit. I
knew that somehow I would still have all of you in my life, but I couldn't help but feel... alone and-
fuck, I felt cornered."

She finally grasped the course she was setting. Her train of thought was clear in front of her as she
finally laid out everything that had been bottled up for over a year.

"Everything started to change before I even made up my mind. Our seniors kept telling me how
pumped they were for me, and the coaching staff was treating me like I wasn't even there anymore.
I felt like I was an exchange student already, it was... it was odd and... I- I didn't want that." She
frowned even deeper. "My dad... he was actually paying attention to me even if it was for
something I wasn't even sure I wanted, but he probably called me more times in those days than he
did for my whole life before that. And he told my mom, of course, so she reached out as well. And
it wasn't to say she was proud of me or anything like that, she just asked if I could use the
scholarship to switch my major before she started talking about how prestigious Stanford medical
school was." Jeongyeon caught something different in her voice now. Loathing? Resentment? Or
disappointment? Probably all of those. "And yet, even though I wasn't sure if I wanted that,
everyone was already treating me like I was already gone. So I felt like I didn't really have a choice
at all."

Jeongyeon never knew that Nayeon felt that way. To her, as well as the rest, the answer was pretty
clear. But knowing that Nayeon didn't feel comfortable enough to talk to her about it was even
worse. She was the one who couldn't look at Nayeon now.

"I wish you had talked to me about it." She whispered, speaking up for the first time since Nayeon
started.

"You also wanted me to go."

"Only because I thought you wanted it too." She sought Nayeon's eyes and found her already
staring at her. "I'd never have pushed so hard if I had known you felt that way."

"You were distant, Jeongyeon." Nayeon argued. "I don't blame you for that, I should've seen it
coming bearing in mind our past. And I hope you know that's not the only reason I choose to stay."

Stay?

Oh, that's right, at the time Nayeon claimed she'd stay. It was after her injury, a couple of days
before she left for Busan. She hadn't announced it to everyone yet, she only mentioned it to
Jeongyeon. She said she'd talk to the others as well as the coaching staff when she got back from
Busan, where she'd be treated. But apparently she had a change of heart while she was there. What
Jeongyeon had previously thought was a simple move regarding her future when she ultimately
decided to take the scholarship and go to Stanford, still remained a mystery considering the little to
no information she had been given throughout these last months.

"I was planning on talking to you about it." She went on looking down once again. "All about what
was going on in her mind, my feelings, my fears, the pressure, all of it. And everything else so that
you wouldn't feel guilty about my final decision to stay. But I made up my mind about it when I
was in Busan, so I didn't think it'd be appropriate to have that conversation over the phone since...
well, since I wasn't even sure if you still wanted to be with me by then."

The phantom of that one fateful night on the rooftop came back to haunt them yet again. Nayeon
had already talked about her doubts regarding Jeongyeon's feelings that night. However, hearing
again that she really led Nayeon to question her feelings for her hurt even worse now than it did
before.

"Seriously, it was like the universe was taking unfair advantage of our terrible timing, so in the end
all my insecurities still kept me from being honest with you. Because after the first time, I
thought... I thought we had gotten it figured out. I really thought it'd be different. But everything
started to fall apart anyway and I couldn't help but keep thinking that it wasn't just the possible
distance that was making you drift apart. We were already having a lot of problems at that point.
Problems which we had never had before, so I didn't really know how to handle them. So I thought
that that goddamn scholarship was the way out you were looking for. I thought that maybe you
were encouraging me to take it because you wanted me gone. I didn't lie that day on the rooftop, I
really thought that maybe- fuck, that maybe you were actually done with us. But I still wanted to
wait a while to be sure. Give it one last try, I guess. I thought that those weeks apart while I was in
Busan would be enough to clear up some things for both of us…"

"But I never-" Jeongyeon started but stopped all of sudden. "Sorry, I said I'd listen but I keep
interrupting."

"No, it's okay. We're having a conversation, you can talk if you want." Nayeon nodded with a
tight-lipped smile and a kindness Jeongyeon didn't believe she deserved.

"Did you really think I didn't love you anymore?" Jeongyeon asked quietly.

"No." She shook her head. "Not exactly, at least." Nayeon added after considering it for a second.
"I knew you loved me back then the same way deep down I know you'll always love me. I know
you didn't welcome me with open arms when I came back, but I don't think you would've ever
opened up to me so much if you hated me." The certainty with which Nayeon favored those words
somewhat soothed Jeongyeon's heart a little. Nayeon knew that she loved her, so that's good. But
was it enough? "We have this... bond, Jeong. You know it as well as I do. It's pretty much
involuntary at this point, but I think it's something that's always going to be here."

Yeah, she's right, Jeongyeon knew it all too well. Because as much as that word was a little foreign
to define the overriding essence of their relationship; and as much as Nayeon avoided it as much as
Jeongyeon did, deep down they both acknowledged that they were friends before anything else,
and therefore they would always love each other at least as such.

"But at that time I watched us growing apart, it felt like you were slipping through my fingers even
before the news about Stanford came through. So I really didn't know if you still wanted to be with
me, or at least not like that. I thought that maybe you had fallen out of love or... I don't know.
Maybe you weren't sure about us anymore." She tentatively met Jeongyeon's gaze again. "I- I didn't
know, but like I said, sometimes I caught myself having a lot of bad thoughts, especially about us.
So maybe I was wrong and that whole thing was just some crazy thoughts in my head, but I ended
up screwing it up either way."
"You didn't." Jeongyeon tried but Nayeon wasn't having it.

"Yes, I did."

"You weren't wrong." Jeongyeon confessed. She couldn't just stand there and watch Nayeon blame
herself or think that she was crazy when the truth was that Jeongyeon was just as guilty. But she
realized all too late the ambiguity of her statement. The hurt that broke out all over Nayeon's
features was what made her aware, so she tried to correct herself as fast as she could. "I mean, it
wasn't just a figment of your imagination. About the changes and us drifting apart. Not about me
not wanting to be with you, though."

Nayeon didn't seem convinced but she slowly shifted on the bed. She got more comfortable,
Jeongyeon noticed, so this must be a good sign. That's why she seized the moment to take a seat on
the bed, but on the other end, still far apart.

"I don't have an excuse for what happened back then, so I'm not trying to justify anything, okay? I
just want you to understand my side. Or how I saw it, I guess." Nayeon just nodded for her to
continue and not for the first time Jeongyeon felt an overwhelming urge to pull Nayeon closer. To
scoot over and hold her hands, but she didn't do it. "I know a lot of people tried to warn us about
how hard it could be but damn, I thought they were just overdoing it. All that stuff about how
tough it was to make everything work and how chaotic college life could get. I always thought they
were just overreacting or making excuses, but as time went on I realized that it was actually an
understatement."

Jeongyeon shook her head and unleashed a dry and lifeless laugh. Once again looking anywhere
but at Nayeon.

"You know, I wasn't a starter on the team yet, so I knew that if I wanted to have a chance even with
my injury I'd have to work twice as hard. I had to step up and increase my training schedule, my
time in the gym and everything else. And all of that on top of my academic duties? Shit, I thought I
wasn't gonna make it. It's pretty tough to go from being a top student in high school to being just a
regular one in college. But I thought as long as I was keeping my grades high enough for me to be
on the team, I'd be okay." Her sight grew blurry and she wiped away the unshed tears with the back
of her hand, but she didn't let it stop her. "But stil… all of that... Nayeon, it- it took a toll on me. I
guess I kind of lost myself somewhere in between. I fucking drowned and when I finally realized
it, it was too late. I ended up worrying about other things- everything else, because I thought we'd
still be okay when everything calmed down. So maybe I got a little... complacent, when it came to
the bad shape of our relationship. So I'm really sorry if I ever made you feel unloved because I
swear that's the last thing I ever wanted. But the truth is that I took you for granted and I'm sorry
about that, too."

Up until then that was one of the hardest things Jeongyeon had ever had to confess, but she still had
an awful lot of things to talk about too.

"But then I saw you doing the same thing. Or something similar, I guess. Our time together
gradually dwindled, our dates were canceled with only minutes notice and we fought all the time,
Nayeon. The worst part is that if I look back now I'm sure I can't even care for half the reasons
why."

"You know what? I didn't sign up for this."

"Then what did you sign up for, Jeongyeon??"

"I don't know! For a girlfriend, I guess! Not someone I casually text and sleep with. We haven't had
a real date in weeks, Nayeon. We barely see each other outside our practices!"

"Well, if you didn't spend all of your free time in the field or at the gym-"

"Oh, of course you're going to say that! Some of us need to work harder than others, you know. Not
everyone has their place safely secured on the team!"

"And some of us got our priorities straight!"

"I can't believe you're saying that!"

That's how it started. Busy schedules and hardly any time to spend together besides their duties
with the team. Plans changed with last minute texts that developed into fights that both would now
probably classify as petty and trivial today, but which memories still remained vivid in both their
minds.

"And you were right when you said that we didn't talk anymore. Most of our fights ended up with
one of us storming out or in bed. It got to a point where I felt like we're more like fuck buddies
rather than actually girlfriends." Jeongyeon recalled ruefully, her voice growing louder and
desperate. "And then the Stanford thing came up and I couldn't stop thinking that if our relationship
was already hard enough with both of us living on the same campus, I couldn't even picture what
it'd be like with each of us in two different fucking countries." She sighed as she admitted it, feeling
both relieved and burdened at the same time. "And I was scared because to me, all of that was just
the result of college life kicking my ass, but I didn't know if it was the same on your end as well. I
wasn't sure whether it was just the consequences of our ongoing troubles driving us apart, or
whether you were just trying to gradually push me away for when it was time for you to actually
leave me."

Eventually she'd glance up at Nayeon just to make sure she was still there. To keep in check the
irrational fear that had developed within her in the last few months and which she had yet to learn
how to control: the dread that Nayeon would just disappear on her all over again.

"I knew I was willing to do everything I could to make us work even if you were to leave, but I
wasn't sure you felt the same. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't because you deserved to live
without anything holding back, Nayeon. You've always..." She almost choked on her own words.
"Life has always had a tendency to be tougher on you, but you can choose the easiest way out
sometimes. You've earned it and I wanted you to know that even back then."

The slightest wistful smile broke out on Jeongyeon's lips for a short moment. Quite brief, perhaps
Nayeon didn't even notice it, but it was her way of showing that she meant it. She was being utterly
honest, didn't want to hide anything anymore.

"But I was too afraid to ask and find out what you really wanted." She finally concluded and added
only loud enough for her to hear. "So maybe I really am a coward after all."

Nayeon went silent for what felt like an eternity. Frowning with a sharp expression and wrinkles on
her countenance. A slightly confused - perhaps lost - look on her face as well. Jeongyeon wanted to
say more, but she needed to hear from her ex-girlfriend first. She needed to make sure she
understood, needed her to know that she never meant for any of that to happen. But the silence
became too long and as always her anxiety got the best of her. She was already about to blurt out
more explanations and apologies when Nayeon cut her off.

"Nayeon-"
"Then I did fail, after all." Nayeon drawled. "If at any point I led you to believe that I didn't love
you with all my heart, then I did fail you."

"You didn't fail, we both just made a lot of mistakes." Jeongyeon settled before it could turn into an
endless blame battle.

They were almost right next to each other by then, but the distance between them felt even bigger
now. Even with all the cards finally laid out on the table there still seemed to be an entire ocean
between them. It's uncanny how something could be both enlightening and so painful at the same
time, but that's exactly where all those months of dancing around each other were leading them to.

But now what? Jeongyeon wondered, but also wanted to ask it out loud. She thought it was over
when Nayeon knew it was only getting started.

"I'm sorry, Nayeon. I really am. All of this could've been avoided if I just-"

"Jeong-" Nayeon tried but Jeongyeon just kept going.

"If we had been honest from the beginning we wouldn't be in this shitty situation right now."
Jeongyeon stood up and proceeded to pace around the room, spiraling. Shaking her head as she
kept rambling and gesticulating nervously. "Shit, I don't know what's going to happen from now on
but- but I wanna do better. And I know you do too, otherwise you wouldn't be here, so we could
start over, maybe? From scratch, all over again. Get to know each other better and for real this
time, and... take things slow, I guess? I think we can make it work this time. I mean, I guess we can
figure anything out if we trust each other and-"

"Jeongyeon." Nayeon's voice rang sterner this time. Hard enough to interrupt Jeongyeon's outburst.

"What?" She froze in the middle of her bedroom. She looked down at Nayeon in anticipation and
the other girl scrutinized her features for a few seconds, nervously chewing the inside of her
cheeks.

"The lack of communication wasn't our only problem."

Shit, by that point Jeongyeon should've gotten used to the feeling of her heart being broken, right?
But no, not at all. She was nowhere near it.

What the fuck did that mean? Did she get it all wrong again? Had she once more lost something
between the lines?

"I thought..." She breathed and took a step back. She felt the need to put more space between her
and her ex-girlfriend. Felt like it was better to rip off the band-aid already. The whole thing was
already getting too confusing again so Jeongyeon was straightforward for a change. "You don't
wanna try again? Because if it's just friendship you want I'm still up to it and-"

"No, that's not it. I just- I'm not done yet." Nayeon was visibly nervous. She patted the place by her
side asking her to come closer once again, but Jeongyeon hesitated. "Please. You might wanna sit."

Great, now what the hell was that supposed to mean?

Honestly, Jeongyeon didn't want to sit. Especially not next to Nayeon, it didn't seem right since the
lingering feeling of rejection was still haunting her. But the tone she used indicated that it was a
little more than just a suggestion, so she thought it was best to follow her request even though she
still sat down a little further away.
"I found out something when I was at the recovery center in Busan." Jeongyeon's hands clenched
into fists and she was all but sweating in anticipation. "Like I said, I was planning on talking to you
and telling you about everything, but something happened and it made me give up before I could
go back and say anything."

Okay, so there's more. Jeongyeon nodded for her to continue but her heart was beating faster with
each passing word. Nayeon took a deep breath, fixing her gaze on her hands which were now
fiddling with the pillow on her lap.

"I was doing a fitness test on the treadmill one morning and well- I blacked out. I fainted and woke
up in a hospital bed the next day.

You know when you get a dull, persistent buzzing noise in the back of your head? An annoying
and yet constant sound that suddenly bothers you all of a sudden? That's how Jeongyeon felt when
she heard those words coming out of Nayeon's mouth. A wave of white noise crashed through
Jeongyeon's body like a tsunami, taking her mind off consciousness and making her knees go
weak.

"My dad was already there and my mom came in later. I spent a few days in the hospital running
all kinds of tests and scans until they found out what was wrong, and it was... shit, it was
frightening."

"W-what?" She struggled to put it out there, her voice barely came out. Her eyes were wide, her
face wrinkled in sheer confusion and her mouth was too dry to speak as her breath was already
catching in her throat.

"Yeah, I was- uh..." Nayeon watched her carefully, she had scooted closer on the bed without
Jeongyeon even noticing. "I was... kind of sick."

The static noise was still there and at first she was glad she had taken the call for her to sit down,
but that bed was starting to feel too small. She felt like the mattress was suddenly shrinking
underneath her.

"Fuck." She suddenly stood up and put an even larger distance between them. "What- what do you
mean by sick?"

"Can you sit with me?" Nayeon insisted as she stood up slowly. She held out a hand to Jeongyeon
as she felt the tight tension emanating from her body and watched the fidgety way in which she
took faltering steps backward.

"No-no, I don't wanna sit." Jeongyeon stammered and shook her head, feeling slightly out of breath.
She wanted to get out of there, that's what she really wanted. Out of the room? Or out of the house?
Maybe if she went outside she'd be able to breathe. But she promised Nayeon that she wouldn't
walk away like she did all those other times. She promised she'd be there to hear everything she
had to say.

You promised, Jeongyeon, you fucking promised. She kept reminding herself and that's the only
thing that kept her from bolting out of the room even if she felt like it was closing in around her.

"I don't have an easy way to say this, Jeong, so I'll just say it outright. I have a heart condition." She
made a face when the words left her mouth and Jeongyeon felt like she needed to lean back. Her
back met the door and Nayeon slowly inched her way closer. "It's nothing you need to worry about
now because I got the treatment I needed, but that's why I can't play anymore and..." Nayeon kept
talking but Jeongyeon didn't hear a word. The only thing she could hear was the blood racing
through her veins while this rushing dread slammed into her chest, choking her hard and making
her wanna cry.

It was like a crash or maybe a blow. Both to her brain and to her body, to the extent that she could
no longer stand up straight. Her back slid against the door until she fell down on the floor.
Jeongyeon couldn't breathe properly, the whole thing was just too fucking overwhelming. Her hand
closed into a fist around the collar of her shirt and she tried to keep the fabric away from her throat
as if it was the reason for her distress.

"But- but- what… why...?" She tried to ask but only slurred, unintelligible sentences slipped out of
her lips. Jeongyeon had so many questions, but she couldn't quite sort out her thoughts enough to
ask exactly what she wanted to know. She felt like she had been given way too much information
and yet not enough at all at the same time.

"Jeongyeon? Look at me." Suddenly Nayeon was standing right in front of her. She crouched
down, but didn't get too close. Jeongyeon knew by the sound of her soft voice which cut its way
through the static rustle that was still hampering all her senses. "I think you're having a panic
attack, Jeong, and I want to help you. Can I touch you?" She took a moment but then she nodded
vigorously, and just then she felt Nayeon drawing closer. Jeongyeon only realized she was shaking
when Nayeon's hands met her own. "Just breathe, okay? In and out."

Nayeon gently guided and Jeongyeon tried to comply, but the air still felt way too thick. Another
thing she only now noticed was that her eyes were tightly shut. She didn't know exactly when this
happened, but probably since the beginning since just now realized that she didn't see Nayeon
coming closer. Nor did she see her ducking down beside her, she just listened and followed her
voice as if it was her personal light at the end of the tunnel.

But she also felt her ex-girlfriend taking her hands between hers, guiding them to her own chest and
taking a few deep breaths while Jeongyeon did her best to copy her movements. She tried hard to
breathe in and out as if her lungs weren't burning, as if everything wasn't dark and as if the world
wasn't swirling around her. But Nayeon's voice kept coaxing through it, speaking in detail and
soothing her down, and not so long later Nayeon was sitting beside her, wrapping both her arms
around her midsection and side hugging her loosely. She also placed her head on her shoulder as
she whispered sweet words of assurance in Jeongyeon's ear.

It took a while, although she didn't know exactly how long. She didn't trust her perception of time
or space at that moment, but eventually she managed to speak again.

"What- what exactly do you have?" Jeongyeon asked when she felt that her voice would actually
come out if she tried. She was still shuddering a little, but Nayeon's arm was still around her to
keep her grounded.

"It's... well, it's- it's a faulty valve. And I needed surgery because it could lead to heart failure. So I
went into a few... not- not in Busan, but after I... um, went away. And maybe I'll need some others
in a distant future, just to keep myself healthy." Nayeon stuttered the whole way through but she
made an effort to add the last part quicker and resolutely. "But I'm okay now, I guess that's what
matters."

"S-surgery?" It came out like a sob and Jeongyeon's hand clasped around the arm Nayeon had
wrapped around her front. Maybe she should ask her to pinch her now because none of it felt real.

"Yeah." Nayeon answered snuggling closer to her. "That's why I left, Jeong. Like I said, I'd never
leave you willingly. I wanted to come back and work things out, but-"
"You really are okay? Are you sure?" She had to cut her off. Everything that came out from
Jeongyeon's mouth was like a whisper now. She didn't have the strength to speak any louder.

"I am. I promise." Alright then. Jeongyeon tried to focus on that. Focus on the fact that Nayeon
was there, that she was fine, but she still had too many questions.

"But Nayeon, you never... fuck. How did you- and why...?" She still couldn't put into words
everything she wanted- or rather yet, needed to know. She was still shaking just as much as she was
stuttering.

"I'll tell you everything." Nayeon lightly squeezed Jeongyeon's waist to stress her words. "But we
can go into the details later if you like. I know it's a lot, and maybe you-"

"No." Jeongyeon shook her head and her jaw slightly bumped on top of Nayeon's head since she
was still leaning on her shoulder. "I- I wanna know now."

"Okay, so let me get you some water and-"

"No." She tried to move, but Jeongyeon wouldn't let her. She held Nayeon's arm even tighter.
"Please don't go."

"It's okay, Jeong, I'll just-" Jeongyeon shook her head again and Nayeon got a grasp of what was
going on. So she gave up and thought it'd be better if she stayed right there. "Okay, I'm here. I'm
not going anywhere."

"Please. Just... say something. Anything. It's okay if you don't want to go into details right now.
Just talk to me." Jeongyeon could still feel her heart beating way too hard. She could breathe better
now, but that didn't ease the crushing tightness in her chest. But none of it mattered because all she
really wanted was to hear Nayeon's voice.

Nayeon, her ex-girlfriend, her very first love. Her current love, her person, the one who had been
her best friend for years. Who apparently she almost lost forever without even knowing that she
was fucking ill.

"Of course it didn't happen overnight. I was feeling... a little under the weather, I guess, even
before I got injured. I'd felt out of breath often and sometimes I'd have some weird chest pains as
well. But I always blamed it on anxiety or stress, you know, never thought it could be something
actually serious." Nayeon chose to explain just to get it over with. Jeongyeon mentally thanked her
for it, but she almost regretted not taking her up on her water offer because she couldn't stop feeling
like she was going to be sick. "But when everything finally blew up I was in Busan, so my dad was
called in and he called my mom right after. So first I feel like I need to let you know that I didn't
keep my promise. About my mom, I mean, I didn't cut her off like I said I would. Well, at first yes,
I did. I tried, at least. I went a few months without talking to her, but then she started to call and she
kept insisting, so eventually I gave in because..." She trailed off, sounding a little breathless, almost
hopeless. "Fuck, I don't even fucking know why. But still, I kept it from you and I'm sorry."

Granted, it was still hard for Jeongyeon to hear that confession as well, but honestly, that seemed so
small compared to the rest now. So she just nodded to let Nayeon carry on.

"She's a doctor. I mean, she's not a cardiologist and she couldn't have treated me even if she was, of
course. But she has contacts, so she got me the best doctor she could find. That's why I spent a
good part of last year in the US with her, in and out of hospitals all the time, and that's why I
needed her. It was hard and... so fucking exhausting." She released a sigh that conveyed the same
feeling as her words: weariness. "The first surgery didn't work because they meant to repair it, but
once I got there they found that the damage was too great just to repair. It'd be better to actually
replace the valve, but also I ended up having a poor reaction to the anesthesia, so that was the
second shortcoming. It led me to a cardiorespiratory arrest and you can imagine how harrowing it
was for someone who already didn't have a particularly healthy heart. So yeah, it was bad and I had
to wait and recover enough to try again, but at least by then we already knew what had to be done.
But the wait and the possibilities… Gosh, it was awful."

As Nayeon went on to explain, Jeongyeon remembered one more thing that now made her feel
dizzy: a whole week where she and Nayeon had not spoken to each other while she was in Busan.
She remembered thinking in annoyance that Nayeon was just giving her the cold shoulder since
during those days most of the "talks" they had would end up in fights.

At the time, Jeongyeon also came to think that maybe that time apart would be good for them to
think and get their priorities straight. To put their minds in order and pick up from where they left
off more calmly. She hoped that Nayeon would miss her enough to come back willing to make
things right. How foolish. Now that she knew the truth, she felt sick just to think about it.

"...so to replace it they chose a tissue valve." Nayeon's voice brought her back to reality. She had
been distracted for a while and apparently missed some information. "They could've gone with the
manufactured one, but then I would've had to take blood thinners forever. The tissue one has a
shorter shelf life but is more suitable for younger people. I'll probably need to change it more than
once in my lifetime if everything keeps working out, but the overall picture is better, so in the end it
was an easy choice anyway."

Jeongyeon also recalled the days she spent trying to hate Nayeon after she left, leaving only a piece
of paper behind. She also thought of the moments she would yield and try to imagine what her life
in Stanford must have been like. Of the times when she almost asked Jihyo about how Nayeon was
doing and- fuck, did Jihyo know about all that too??

"Did you tell-" She almost asked about Jihyo, but only almost. There were more important things
she needed to know first. "But why didn't you tell me?"

"We were going through a hard time." Nayeon replied as if it made perfect sense.

"So what?! I would have-"

"You would have what? Pretended that all our problems were gone?"

"You're damn right I would!" Jeongyeon didn't missed a beat "Fuck whatever else was going on,
Nayeon, that's far more important than any problem we might be having. It's your health we're
talking about." For a moment she really wanted to move and look into Nayeon's eyes, but the arms
around her body were the only thing that eased some of the uneasiness she felt inside.

"It's not that simple."

"Yes, it was." She replied rather thoughtlessly, but she immediately regretted it.

"No, it wasn't!" Nayeon snapped. "In a span of a few of days I went from a normal, supposedly
healthy person with a dream of becoming a professional athlete, to a frail and sick girl with a
fucking heart disease who was too afraid of falling sleep because she couldn't stop thinking that she
might not wake up anymore."

Honestly, she didn't mean to come off so sharp and harsh, but she did anyway and she immediately
felt Jeongyeon wince between her arms. Nayeon regretted it right away and let go of her.
Jeongyeon flinched again at the lack of contact, but Nayeon didn't go anywhere, she remained
sitting right next to her as their shoulders brushed together. She also took one of Jeongyeon's hands
between her own and brought it to her mouth to place an apology in the form of a kiss.

"In the beginning..." She tried to tone it down before moving on. "I mean, when I was still in
Busan. It was really scary, Jeong. It took a while so we didn't know what the problem was at first.
My dad handed me my phone and nearly begged me to call you. Or Jihyo, or anyone else, really.
He said I needed a kind of support he knew he couldn't give me. But I simply couldn't."

"Why not?"

"I talked to my mom, too." She lowered her voice and her gaze, feeling embarrassed. "Like I said, I
started talking to her again even before all that. And I... I told her about you. About how much I
liked you and about the troubles we were going through, and about how I couldn't talk to you
about any of it because I was afraid. And how I felt like I couldn't talk to Jihyo either because I
thought she'd always choose your side, and how I also couldn't talk to Momo or Sana because I
didn't think they'd understand. Fuck, I couln't talk to anyone, really. But now I realize what a
mistake it was to open up to the wrong person.

"What happened?" Jeongyeon coaxed.

"You only know her bad side, Jeong. But she- shit, honestly, I don't understand her either. But
when she wants to- when she really wants to, she can be a good mother. But sometimes it also feels
like everything changes all of sudden, like someone flips a switch and turns off the light." Nayeon
stammered a little in her search for the right words. "Back then, we got in touch again even before
my knee injury. She'd try to give me advice and sometimes I felt like she really got me. I know you
won't get it, but she's kind of a lonely person, you know. I mean, that's not the right word, she-
she's independent, I guess. She doesn't need anyone else. She doesn't feel lonely like I did because
she's self-sufficient, so I think when she saw me struggling because of this, she just wanted me to
be more like her."

Jeongyeon wanted to speak up and say that that woman wasn't anything like the noble lone wolf
Nayeon once seemed to pictured, that she was nothing but a bad person who only did what she
thought was fit for her, who didn't care about anyone's feelings but her own. That she was lonely
not because she was self-sufficient or independent, but because she was a goddamn sociopath who
somehow saw life as one big power play.

"Then when it all finally happened and I went down to Busan, she got there and found me alone.
So she said that it was a good chance for me to learn that in the end we just-" She stopped herself
to reword. "Well, blood is thicker than water, that's what she said."

She released another long, tired sigh and Jeongyeon just closed her eyes for a moment. Shook her
head because of course that woman would say something like that.

Jeongyeon also wanted to beg Nayeon to stop comparing herself to her because she wasn't and
would never be such a terrible person as her mother was. But she didn't say anything because there
was no point in dumping all of that in Nayeon's right now. Jeongyeon could understand how that
woman had gotten into her head and she hated her even more because of that.

"She also said that it was a sign. An opportunity for us to strengthen our relationship once and for
all or... or something like that."

She loathed her because she had seen Nayeon at one of her worst moments when Jeongyeon didn't
even notice how bad she really was. She despised her because instead of helping Nayeon, she took
advantage of the whole thing to control her like she had always wanted.

"And I believed her because... I wasn't in a good place at that time." Nayeon admitted, sounding as
defeated as she felt. "But I needed help and she was willing to step up. I mean, I can't say this is all
her fault. I can't just blame it on her because I was the one who made the final decision, but I really
thought she was just trying… I believed she was trying to be a good parent, you know. Be there for
me."

"That's not being a good parent, Nayeon. That's just being a manipulative hag." Jeongyeon didn't
bother gauging her words this time. The anger took over her senses as it always did whenever that
woman came up. If she wasn't still shaking and her voice didn't sound so weak, maybe that
would've sounded more pithy, but she was already running on low energy.

"I know." Nayeon all but whined. "I can see that now, but sometimes I still... I don't know, I catch
myself thinking that maybe she just really wanted what was best for me."

"I still wish you would've told me. Me or Jihyo, or any of us." Jeongyeon chose to get back to the
main topic because if she were to go back to the Park Haengja matter they'd lose hold of the
situation.

"You guys had classes and were still on season. I thought that if you knew, you'd want to go to
Busan."

"You gotta be kidding, right?" Jeongyeon dryly chuckled once again, but there was no humor in it.
Maybe just a hint of irony. "You were sick and worrying about our fucking games? About
grades??"

Nayeon shrugged and rested her head on Jeongyeon's shoulder again. "You're not a doctor,
Jeongyeon. None of you are. It's not like you were going to fix me by being there."

Again, she didn't mean it in a bad way, but that statement hit Jeongyeon far more deeply than she
expected. Her cheeks were already stained with the partially dried tears that were the result of her
recent panic attack, but the new ones were already rolling down as well. Nayeon only noticed she
was crying when her ex-girlfriend's shoulders started to slightly shake.

"Shit, I'm sorry." Nayeon sat up straight. She was still next to her, but she turned on her side and
held Jeongyeon's face between her hands. Wiped her tears away and caressed her ex-girlfriend's
hair as she tried to soothe her down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"You went back to Seoul, Nayeon." Jeongyeon said amidst sobs. Nayeon was still cupping her face
and Jeongyeon was struggling not to choke on her own words. "You could've told me then. Before
you left, when you said you were going to visit your dad or- whoever it was. You could've told me.
You should have."

Yet another flash of memory hit Jeongyeon. She recalled her last week with Nayeon before she left.
Those were the best days they had together in months. She remembered how it felt to hold her
again after being away for so long; how Nayeon kissed her like she meant it for the first time in
weeks; and also how even for only a handful of days, Jeongyeon really thought that maybe things
could work out between them again. That they could go back to the way they were before.

But then they had their last big fight. The last one which she assumed for months was Nayeon's last
straw. She couldn't even recall why it happened in the first place, or who started it for that matter.
She couldn't tell what the final word was that pushed them further away from each other, but they
were both a nervous wreck since she and Nayeon were going through a lot. There was yelling from
both sides and bad words coming from their mouths, questions about how invested they really were
in that relationship and then it all went downhill.

All she knew was that a couple of days later she watched Nayeon get into a car saying she needed
some time to think. She said she was going to their hometown to spend some time at home. To visit
her dad and maybe her grandma too, but the thing was that she didn't come back. At least not for a
whole year. And a couple of months too.

"You had plenty of chances to tell me what was going on, why didn't you?" Jeongyeon added,
trying to understand why Nayeon would hide something like that. "I wish I could've been there
with you. You- you went back to me. We were starting to reconnect and I really thought everything
was going to be okay, but then you..." Another tearful sob interrupted her. "You left. You didn't say
anything, you just left."

"It was easier that way." Jeongyeon tried to interrupt, but Nayeon just went on. "Look, by the time I
left and went back to Yonsei, the tests I did there gave us a pretty good indication of what the real
problem was." She tilted her head and and her gaze became a little blurry, as if she was seeing the
entire thing flashing before her eyes. "I had a faulty heart and the doctors knew I needed surgery,
but they didn't have any other way of knowing the complexity until they actually- um, opened me
up. And my mom wouldn't let me have it in Busan, or even in Seoul for that matter. She didn't trust
anyone but the doctors she chose in the States. She sent them the results and also asked for other
doctors' opinions, but the verdict was the same: repair or replace. I never quite followed the
medical lingo, but my mom tried to dumb it down for me. She told me there was no way I was
getting away from an open-heart surgery. She said that their plan might work, but every scenario
was still tricky. Or... or it could not work either. If it was too critical... if- if the damage had spread,
maybe I wouldn't be able to... fuck, I'd have to get on the transplant list. I'd live in a fucking
hospital for who knew how long until someone else died so I could live- that's is, if I could hold on
long enough myself."

Nayeon kept going and Jeongyeon honestly didn't know how much more she could take. She didn't
try to wipe her tears away anymore. She just hugged her knees and curled up into herself, sat still
feeling everything at the same time that she couldn't feel anything at all. She knew that Nayeon
was rubbing circles on her back, but she could barely feel her touch, she was mostly feeling numb.

"For a while I thought... I felt like I wasn't going to make it. I mean, there was a chance, right? I
was, for lack of a better word, scared to death. I really didn't know what was going to happen."

Nayeon was also weeping even though she was trying not to. Jeongyeon couldn't help but think
how much she wished she had been by her side every step of the way.

"I'm so used to things going wrong, Jeong. Something deep inside me was telling me that none of it
was going to work, and I made myself believe that my days were numbered. I was so fucking sure
that it was going to wreck me and I didn't want it to ruin you either." Jeongyeon closed her eyes as
her own nails were digging, hurting the skin of her legs, but she wasn't feeling it as well. "And
apart from the risks of the surgery, there was also something else that really freaked me out."

"What's that?" She managed to ask. Her face was still hidden between her arms.

"Well, for us there were only two ways it could go." She carried on with the same wistful, slurred
voice. "First, since we were going through a rough path, there was this voice in my head telling me
that you wanted to break up. That you wanted me to go to Stanford so you could be free, that you
were just building up the nerve to walk away. You know... everything we just talked about."
Jeongyeon's senses started to ease back a little. She felt Nayeon's hand stroking her hair now so
tilted her head, propping it up on her knees so she could look at her. "So how could I possibly look
into your eyes and tell you what was going on? Tell you that I was sick?? You wouldn't break up
with me if you knew the truth. Either it'd be out of pity or fear, I don't know, but I was pretty sure
you would never break up with a sick girl, Jeongyeon. And then you'd be stuck with me just
because the timing was bad, because you didn't end things sooner."

"I'd never be stuck with you, Nayeon." She didn't hesitate to cut in this time. "I'd always choose to
be with you. By your side, by choice. It wouldn't matter if you were sick or not, I'd choose to be
with you no matter what!" She managed to raise her voice for the first time that night. "And I never
wanted us to break up. Not once. I just didn't know if you felt the same way."

"I know." She wistfully nodded. "I know that now, but back then I didn't. And maybe that's a good
thing because over time I realized that's what I was most afraid of. The second scenario."

"The one where I wanted to be with you!?" Jeongyeon could hardly believe what she just heard.

"Yeah." Nayeon caressed her cheek with her thumb. Her eyes roamed her features with such
affection that Jeongyeon almost felt unworthy. "Because that's how the whole thing would actually
hurt you. I couldn't let you put your life on hold to camp in a hospital waiting room or- or be
worried at home waiting for news since I'd be six thousand miles away. It'd definitely take a toll on
you."

"Of course it would! You were my girlfriend, I would have the right to feel that way!" She pushed
Nayeon's hand away and sat up straight.

"Yes, Jeongyeon, you would have that right. You would have the right to be miserable, to let your
grades drop, to lose the place you were about to secure on the team, to feel too fucking bad to do
anything else. All that, you know all that could happen. You know it would because you care too
much. Because you're kind and dependable and too damn nice for your own good. But what if you
did all that and it still went south? What if the worst happened anyway? If you lost everything you
worked so hard for because of me, just for me not to make it in the end?? What would be left of
you after I was gone?!"

The room fell silent once again when Jeongyeon couldn't answer outright. She didn't want to even
think about that possibility, it was too much for her already. If even now, having Nayeon here,
right next to her and healthy, like she said, it was already dreadful to even think about it, she
couldn't even imagine how I'd be to spend months with the same uneasy feeling in a waiting room.

"But- but you're not gone." That's all she could muster in response after a while.

"No, I'm not. But in the worst case scenario I figured that a broken heart would be a lot easier to get
over than a dead girlfriend." Nayeon rounded it off with a hushed whisper. She once again rested
her head on her shoulder and cuddled on her side. Jeongyeon closed her eyes and leaned her head
over Nayeon's as well. "That's why I had to end it like that. It was the only time that the whole
Stanford thing ever made sense to me. I knew everyone would think that's where I was going, so I
saw the chance and I took it. But I didn't lie when I said I couldn't do it looking into your eyes
because I'm sure I'd break down in front of you. And if that really happened, I didn't want this to be
the last memory you'd have of me. That's also why I said I thought it was a good thing that you
didn't fight harder the other night; not because I didn't love you, but because it was easier for me to
be brave and stick by my decision when I thought you didn't want to be with me. I thought- I
genuinely thought that you'd be better off with that closure. It wasn't until I came back to Yonsei
that I realized how much it really hurt you."

Jeongyeon cursed under her breath and shook her head for what felt like the hundredth time
because she didn't know what else to say.
 "I think I'd have caved if you'd tried, you know. I wouldn't have been able to follow through with
my plan and then none of this would've been worth it."

"You really think it was worth it?" Jeongyeon skeptically asked, her voice cracking mid-sentence.

"Of course it was." Nayeon replied without a second thought. She turned to look into her eyes once
again. "You got to live your life. It may not have been the life we planned, but it was still better
than the one you'd have with me. You're doing great here, Jeong. You're finally a starter on the
team and you're going to grad school as soon as you're done with this. You're thriving and I'm okay
after all, so I figure it was worth it, yes."

Did Nayeon have any idea that she would trade all that just to fucking be with her? Why didn't she
consider that she could still achieve all that, maybe just a few years later, if Nayeon had only
allowed her to be there?

Jeongyeon wanted to tell her all that, she wanted to protest. She still had a lot of things to say, too
many more questions to ask. But she had reached her limit, she couldn't process any further. Not
tonight, at least. All she needed was some time not to think.

So Jeongyeon shifted to cup Nayeon's face into her hands, holding her gently like she could break
at any given second. She rested her forehead against hers and their noses brushed together, her lips
also ghosted over hers as she mused barely audible. "You're here now."

"I am." Nayeon whispered back, nodded slightly and placed her hands over her ex-girlfriend's.

"You're okay…" It was a mix of both a question and a statement.

"Yes, I am."

"But I almost lost you for good?" Now it was a thorough question which almost didn't make it out
because of the lump in her throat.

"I'm here, Jeong." That's all Nayeon managed to answer, but that also happened to be what
mattered most to Jeongyeon.

Then Jeongyeon clumsily moved her hands to Nayeon's back and pulled her toward herself, right
into her arms. She held her close and hugged her tightly with her chin resting on her shoulder for
far longer than any of them could even tell. More sobs broke out among the tears as she held her so
close that she felt Nayeon's heart beating against her chest. A feeling that used to be quite soothing
for her before, but now knowing all that, it also meant something entirely different.

"I'm here now." Nayeon echoed as she hugged her back. She would repeat it over and over again,
as many times as it'd take.

Chapter End Notes

so... most of it is out now, but we still have a few surprises coming up...
i don't know what to say, but let's see how jeongyeon will deal with it after nayeon's
pov, which is what's coming up next.
but what about you? how are you holding up?
 she would take what she could get (nayeon's version)
Chapter Summary

Jeongyeon wasn't the one to blame for the series of unfortunate events that happened
to her. It wasn't her fault that her ex-girlfriend didn't want that scholarship; it wasn't her
fault that Nayeon couldn't open up on multiple occasions during their relationship
either; it also wasn't her fault that her damn heart didn't work properly and therefore it
wasn't her fault she had to go away for so long; but on top of everything, and especially
in this case, it wasn't her fault if she feel out of love with Nayeon.

Chapter Notes

be advised that this is part one of two

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Nayeon??? What the hell!?"

Nayeon had just landed at Incheon when she made the mistake of taking Jihyo's call. She had only
heard her best friend this angry at her on one other occasion, a little over a year ago.
Coincidentally, Nayeon had also been at an airport when Jihyo yelled at her for about 30 minutes
straight, except that she was basically on the other side of the world that time around.

Back then, that "conversation" lasted all the way from the airport to the place Nayeon would be
staying for a while: one of her mother's several residences. And during that call, her friend made it
crystal clear how disappointed she was about how unfair and selfish was the treatment she had
been giving Jeongyeon during their then recent breakup.

"A letter, Nayeon, really? What's wrong with you!?"

But Nayeon had no means to defend herself without telling the truth, and the truth was something
she definitely couldn't share at that moment, especially not with Jihyo. So she just shut up and
listened.

Jihyo was so pissed off at her lack of an explanation - and also at her lack of reaction on the matter
because in her own words, that uncaring and unresponsive Nayeon wasn't the Nayeon Jihyo knew
and loved - that she even went a few weeks without speaking to her after that.

But it was okay, Nayeon thought, Jihyo had to focus on Jeongyeon. It was fine, she already knew
this was going to happen anyway.

What she didn't expect was that Jihyo would actually try to talk to her again since she had already
made peace with the fact that she would lose her friend too after what she had done. In a certain
way she felt like that's what she deserved since she used to believe that the bond between
Jeongyeon and Jihyo was much stronger than what either of them had with her.
Nayeon hadn't even tried to reach out after the first call, nevertheless, Jihyo still called Nayeon
again over a month after she left. Even though she was still a bit upset, she felt like she needed to
check if her other best friend was okay too. Because despite the fact she was the one to break up
and leave, Jihyo knew all too well just how much Nayeon loved Jeongyeon. So although she didn't
understand the reasons why, Jihyo was sure that it wouldn't have been easy for her either. In her
heart Nayeon was still her best friend too, so she had to look after her as well.

Such call, however, was not answered by Nayeon, but rather by a very unfriendly and rude woman
who later Jihyo came to know as Nayeon's mother. And this lady just told her that Nayeon couldn't
talk at the time, and asked her to stop calling before hanging up without any further information.
Okay, fine, Jihyo had indeed called about five times in a row before being answered, but was that
really necessary??

Either way it didn't sit well with her, that woman's voice left an uneasy feeling in her chest. So
instead of listening to her, Jihyo kept calling every day and over and over again. She wasn't
answered for a week and she was starting to get worried, thinking about calling Nayeon's grandma
or even her dad if she needed to. Most of the time the call would go straight to voicemail, but on
other occasions it was just rejected without even being answered.

"You're not at Stanford, are you?" Jihyo asked a few days later when Nayeon finally returned one
of her calls. Of course, her mother hadn't let her know that her - maybe former - best friend had
been calling, but Nayeon saw the massive call history after a while and returned it as fast as she
could to make sure that her mother hadn't somehow revealed something she shouldn't.

"No, I'm not." That's the first time Nayeon admitted the truth. Not that she was actually lying to
anyone, but the omissions took a toll on her, too. For a long moment the call remained silent, only
the static noise filling the background.

"Are you okay, Nayeon? Why are you with her? " The only person who hated Nayeon's mother
arguably as much as Jeongyeon was Jihyo. Even though she had also never seen or even spoken to
her before that call, Jihyo was smart so it didn't take her long to connect the dots.

"I... I'll be fine, Jihyo. But for now I need to stay here, with her." Although she didn't understand,
Jihyo still trusted Nayeon, so she did what she could: made sure she'd still be there for her in the
meantime.

"Alright, but please don't go so long without checking in again." That's the only thing Jihyo asked
for.

"I won't, I'll call you every week if you want. But please don't tell anyone else." Nayeon vowed and
she kept her promise.

With Momo, who also reached out to her after a couple of months, she only ever chatted through
text because it was easier to keep her secret that way. Also, Nayeon didn't want to bluntly lie to her,
so every time the japanese girl mentioned anything about the life she was supposed to be living at
Stanford, all Nayeon could do was change the subject and hope Momo wouldn't notice.

[08:11 am] 2xMO: how are you doing in cali?

[08:11 am] 2xMO: have any alligators bitten you yet?

[08:15 am] Me Nayeon: Ffs Momo, you're mistaking it for Florida

[08:15 am] Me Nayeon: But anyway, the season has started over there, hasn't it? Jihyo told me that
you guys are doing pretty well

[08:17 am] 2xMO: yep, we've won the first two games but tied the last one

[08:17 am] 2xMO: we would've won all three of them if you were here =/

[08:20 am] Me Nayeon: The games aren't the only thing you've been winning, huh? ;)

[08:25 am] 2xMO: what are you talking about

[08:25 am] Me Nayeon: You can't fool me! I've heard all about a particular freshman who has
caught your eye

[08:26 am] 2xMO: holy shit jihyo doesn't know what the fuck privacy means, does she??

[08:26 am] 2xMO: …

[08:26 am] 2xMO: anyway

[08:26 am] 2xMO: i think she's the love of my life

Dammit, Momo, it must have been what? Like three months? Nayeon judged her in silence and
hoped that Sana was teasing Momo enough for the both of them.

Sana. That was kind of a touchy subject. Nayeon would never admit how much she missed Sana to
anyone but herself. But that's okay, that's for Jeongyeon, Nayeon forced herself to remember.
Jeongyeon needed someone who wasn't linked to Nayeon, and that someone was Sana. As tough as
it was, Nayeon couldn't be that selfish and somehow take her too.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you're coming back?"

Oh, yeah, Nayeon almost forgot that Jihyo was yelling into her ear.

"How do you know?"

"Does it matter?" No, it didn't, but she still wanted to know. She needed to know because if Jihyo
already knew, that could also mean that...

"Does she know?" Nayeon stopped in her tracks in the middle of the airport hall. She had a plan
and this could end up messing everything up.

"No." Jihyo answered and Nayeon released a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Good. Don't tell her." Nayeon started walking toward the exit again, but facing a little difficulty
since it was hard to carry her purse and pull her suitcase while holding her phone too.

"Nayeon..." Her friend's tone was a mix of scolding and concern.

"I wanna be the one to tell her, Jihyo. And I wanna do it personally." She signaled for a cab and
waited for the vehicle to stop.

"Ah, right, that's new." Okay, now her tone was mean and angry, but she probably deserved that
one.

"I know I fucked up, Ji." She got into the car as the driver put the suitcase in the trunk. "But I'm
going to do things right this time."
The call fell silent for a while. There was always a moment like this one in pretty much every
single call between the two of them during the past year.

"Are you okay?" Jihyo's tone changed once again, altogether, but this one was more familiar.
Soothing, actually, since it was the same she always used to end their weekly calls. A tone which
showed Nayeon that she knew something was wrong and even though she also knew Nayeon didn't
wanna talk about it, she couldn't help but ask just to be sure.

Mentally? Well, she was doing much better now. It was a long road, but at least she was on the
right track.

And physically? Yeah, technically she was fine now, too. Her health was finally stable and she
could go back to her normal life - that is, if she even had one after everything.

But if they fixed her heart, why did she still feel like something was missing?

Well, she already knew the answer to that.

"I will be." Nayeon answered but she wasn't sure if she meant it.

...

Although Nayeon wanted nothing more than to throw herself into Jeongyeon's arms to wash away
all the longing she had built up over all those months, she knew it wasn't going to be all that easy.
She and Jeongyeon had hurt each other back in the past, so there were a lot of things they needed to
work out in order to become at least a ghost of what they once were.

A whole year had flown by, for fucks sake, how could she even know if Jeongyeon still had
feelings for her?

As a matter of fact, she already felt like things were starting to change between them even before
she left. So maybe that time apart was exactly what was needed for the love of her life to move on
once and for all, wasn't it? Yeah, probably yes, but thinking about it, let alone accepting it wasn't
easy at all.

With all of those doubts and none of the answers, Nayeon decided it would be better to take things
slow. She would tell the truth about her whereabouts in a future opportunity. She couldn't just
come back dropping a bombshell like that on her friends and her ex-girlfriend and hope that they
would be okay with it. Besides, she knew Jeongyeon well enough to know that she would feel
guilty even though she had no reason to.

After all, Jeongyeon wasn't the one to blame for the series of unfortunate events that happened to
her. It wasn't her fault that her ex-girlfriend didn't want that scholarship; it wasn't her fault that
Nayeon couldn't open up on multiple occasions during their relationship either; it also wasn't her
fault that her damn heart didn't work properly and therefore it wasn't her fault she had to go away
for so long; but on top of everything, and especially in this case, it wasn't her fault if she feel out of
love with Nayeon.

But faced with the undue guilt Jeongyeon was sure to feel, once again she was left confronted with
two unfortunate but familiar possible scenarios, and Nayeon didn't like neither.

Either they would grow close again for the wrong reasons - pity, regret, guilt or whatever
Jeongyeon might feel towards her - and Nayeon would still be insecure about the real place she
held in the lives of the people she loved; or Jeongyeon would be even more upset that she hadn't
come clean earlier and that would drive an even bigger wedge between them.
So no, Nayeon couldn't risk it. She would do things the right way this time. In baby steps, but she
would.

That's why as soon as she got the news that she was really fine and that she could go back to her
normal life soon enough, Nayeon began to plan her return to Yonsei without a second thought. She
was eager to go back to her old routine. To the friendships she had built, to the city she chose, to
the team she missed, and most of all, to the person she loved. Because she loved her too damn
much to stay away for any longer than she had to, even if things weren't going to go back to being
the way they were before. But that's okay because she felt like she could take anything as long as
she was home .

She knew she could take a lot, she felt like she had been through hell and back already. She could
put up with the sorry looks on her teammates' faces when she inevitably had to tell them that she
could no longer play like she did before even though she hated being in the receiving end of pity;
she could put up with all of Sana's relentless prodding that would definitely be on its way once she
returned because the japanese girl would never miss an opportunity to piss her off; she could also
put up with the possible harsh words or cold shoulder she expected to get from Jeongyeon because
she knew her ex-girlfriend had every right to do so.

So yeah, Nayeon was well prepared for all that and probably much more, but she definitely wasn't
ready for one thing in particular.

The sight of a half naked girl whose name she only came to know later. An unfairly beautiful
person with messy bed hair and long legs who was also wearing one of the team's sweatshirts
which she knew for a fact belonged to her ex-girlfriend. Someone else sharing such an intimate
moment, walking around the apartment like a model and hugging the girl Nayeon loved as if she
was hers.

Yeah, Nayeon definitely wasn't ready for everything.

Jeongyeon really had moved on, a reality shock hit her right there. She already knew that was a
possibility, but now it was real. She saw it with her own eyes, there was no fooling herself any
longer. Jeongyeon hadn't been hers for a while now.

Not that by any means she had any hope that they could go back to being like they were before, she
had come to terms with that. She knew that things were not that simple, an entire year could not be
written off and forgotten just like that. However, in a more optimistic scenario, they could at least
be friends again, couldn't they?

(She didn't like to raise her expectations and pay attention to that one little voice in the back of her
mind saying that a possible friendship would be a first step to winning Jeongyeon over again. No,
she told that voice to shut up and banned it from building up any kind of hope.)

But friends, right? Right, just friends!

(She also tried not to acknowledge the fact that words just friends didn't fit well at all when it came
to her and Jeongyeon.)

But should she really try to be friends with someone who she was still hopelessly in love with
when the person in question had a brand new girlfriend? Wouldn't she just be willingly putting
herself on the front line to be further hurt by someone who probably didn't even want her around?

Well, yeah, you know damn well you have to do it. The same voice who she had told to shut up
over and over again persisted in bothering her. But she listened to it anyway because said voice
sounded awfully similar to the girl she loved so she needed to try at the very least.

She was sitting on the stairs of Jeongyeon's apartment building, bawling her eyes out all by herself
after she left her ex-girlfriend with her new girl behind. That's when Nayeon decided she was going
to try her best. She was going to try because if she had one single conviction in her life was that she
couldn't just walk away from Jeongyeon like that, not without putting up a fight. Not again.

Then suddenly Nayeon had a new plan: she would be friends with Jeongyeon. That's it, that's
enough. If they were friends before, they could be friends again. At least that would be better than
nothing. She would take what she could get.

On top of everything else, if there was one thing the first visit to Jeongyeon's apartment had
revealed, it was that her ex-girlfriend still carried a lot of resentment and unfinished business within
her. Okay, Jeongyeon was moving on with her life, but it couldn't be easy if she was keeping all
that hatred inside. And Nayeon wanted to help, she really did. Even if it was just so that Jeongyeon
could heal herself enough to truly be able to commit to someone else, she still owed her that much.

However, seeing Jeongyeon crying and asking her to leave her alone the very next day didn't help
her case.

"I just want you to tell me what I can do to make this situation better." She tried.

Maybe Nayeon was overly optimistic, after all. She really was a fool if she thought everything
would be fixed that way, that fast. It obviously wouldn't, she didn't even deserve for it to be easy.

"There's no making this situation better. You've ruined us, that's it." Jeongyeon answered and she
was right.

You left her without even bothering to give a reasonable explanation. You took off without looking
into her eyes and saying what you really should've said. No matter how good your intentions were,
Jeongyeon only saw your actions and that's what matters after all. The very ones where you didn't
reach out for months and on top of that you practically broke into her apartment as soon as you got
back. What the hell did you expect?

So after hearing that she wanted to fucking leave again. She wanted to pack her things and run
away one more time, she was good at that. Not that she was going to go back to her mother's, not to
her father's place either, that was hardly her home anymore. Not even her grandmother's ranch felt
like the safe place it once was, not since there were too many memories of Jeongyeon over there.
Maybe she could find another place. Somewhere new and far away where she could try to move on
once and for all and maybe-

"We need you, Nayeon." But Jeongyeon said that too. Said that the team needed her or whatever.
But if Jeongyeon was asking then she wouldn't have it any other way. She would never say no to
her, she would stay right there and do her very best.

Okay, so friendship was off the table for now. She didn't have Jeongyeon back, but at least she still
had her other friends, she thought. She chose to focus on that. Nayeon had missed Momo, and
Jihyo... and well, especially Sana. Because at least she still had some kind of contact with the first
two, but the latter was the one person she missed the most after Jeongyeon.

Now she had just gotten back a part of the life which she never wanted to leave. She had the team,
she had her friends - well, most of them - and she was back to attending her dream college after
way too long. It wasn't complete, it wasn't perfect, but it was still what she needed.
Nayeon had spent too much time staring at white hospital walls and pondering whether she would
ever see all of that again to afford to overlook all the good things she had left. She needed to make
the most of it, she had to hold on to every little bliss she felt so lucky to have once again.

So she would let Jeongyeon be, just as she asked. She would leave her alone. She would take what
she could get.

Then the dynamic changed again, everything was starting to go back to normal. Or as normal as it
could be when you had to see the person you loved every day and yet not be able to talk to them.

They would spot each other around campus, but Nayeon tried to stay under the radar. She would
treat Jeongyeon with the same politeness her ex-girlfriend showed her as well.

Nayeon was back to spending more time with Momo and Jihyo, and yes, she was inclined to ask
about Jeongyeon. About Jeongyeon and that girl, about everything she missed while she was gone.
She even tried to fish a hint or two, trying to elicit some information from her friends. Anything just
to make sure if that girl was treating Jeongyeon right. But Jihyo always cut her off and although
she was still tempted, eventually Nayeon decided it was best not to try anymore. It was better if she
didn't know, that way she wouldn't hurt even more. Besides, it wasn't as if she had the right to
know Jeongyeon's business anymore. Also, she had lost that right to know a long time ago.
Jeongyeon had told her in no uncertain terms that she wanted to be left alone, so that's what Nayeon
should do.

So Nayeon held back and kept her feelings to herself as she just watched from afar as Jeongyeon
spent her time with that girl around campus. It was weird, she knew. She might as well have been
mistaken as a stalker. Uncanny, even. But she just couldn't help it because wherever Jeongyeon
was, that girl was there as well. Jesus fucking Christ, were they fucking joined at the hip? It was
always that girl and Sana, they were everywhere Jeongyeon was. But Sana was no threat to her, not
like that g- woah, hold on, threat? What the hell are you talking about, Nayeon? She's not yours
anymore. Get your act together!

To make matters worse, the new girl in question was apparently a nice person. No, not nice.
Decent, at most.

But at least she wasn't going to hurt Jeongyeon, Nayeon thought. She probably didn't have as many
problems as Nayeon had. She wouldn't wear her out or bring her down like Nayeon did so many
times.

That's what Nayeon always tried to keep in mind when her heart was aching and dropping to her
stomach every time she saw the two of them together. After all, Jeongyeon did like her, not only
Jeongyeon but also the whole fucking gang.

"We have a lot to teach you if you're really going to be a part of the group." Sana blatantly said and
Nayeon did her best to ignore the way her body seemed to physically reject those words.

It was hard enough just seeing them together through the halls, but if Nayeon didn't want to lose
her friends - as well as her ex-girlfriend - to that girl, she realized that she would also have to make
an effort to handle her unpleasant feelings a little better.

At that point it had become crystal clear that Jeongyeon was avoiding her at all costs, so Nayeon
figured that she wouldn't want her ex-girlfriend getting any close to her current one, of course.
Thankfully, because Nayeon obviously didn't need to be friends with that girl either, she just
needed to tolerate her, at most. Alright, it's fine, she could do that. No biggie. Or at least that's how
she tried to talk herself into doing it.
But then Nayeon found out that Jihyo... yes, Jihyo! The calm, cool and collected Jihyo, always so
nice Jihyo, captain Jihyo!!! She punched one of the people Nayeon hated the most and that was
probably one of the best things that happened to her since she came back. As silly as it seemed, it
also brought her some joy and purpose to the following days. A reachable goal for the first time in
weeks and with the mission to avenge her friends she finally felt a little more like the person she
used to be for the first time since way before she left.

Of course she felt sorry for Chaeyoung and Tzuyu for being caught in the enemy's prank, but for
some reason it also brought the group closer together. Maybe it was just the mutual hatred for the
volleyball team, but Nayeon wanted to believe it was more than that when Jeongyeon finally quit
pretending she didn't exist.

Maybe Jeongyeon was just more used to her being around now? It had been a few weeks, after all.
Maybe the initial shock had been what stirred her emotions, maybe the sudden surprise was what
made her mad. Maybe, just maybe now she was willing and ready to try... something? Maybe.

Well, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that her presence on group lunches became more common
and Nayeon dwelt on those moments. She longed for those few minutes, relished on the short
moments when she'd get to watch Jeongyeon laughing at her jokes and quickly look away every
time she was caught staring at her for too long.

But who could blame her? It was all too easy to get lost in Jeongyeon. In the way she would close
her eyes when she laughed a little too hard and how her voice always grew a bit higher when she
was overly excited about the current topic. Even in how that the little scar in her eyebrow, yet
barely visible to the rest of the world, looked even more obvious to Nayeon whenever Jeongyeon
was frowning and concentrating on her current reading. And also in the way she sported the cutest
little pout whenever her mind wandered further away and she became oblivious to the people
around her.

No, Nayeon, don't! You can't. Get a grip!

It was downright embarrassing the way Nayeon just couldn't stop staring at her. Far more often
than she would've liked she was caught staring by the very object of her fascination. But the way
Jeongyeon never called her out or confronted her about it lit a small flame deep inside Nayeon.

Well, maybe everything wasn't as broken as she had thought. Maybe Jeongyeon was beginning to
warm up to her again? Maybe she wanted to reapproach as well or maybe she also yearned to go
back to being at least a sketch of what they had been before. Maybe something like right after they
first met, when Nayeon managed to break down the walls she had built and earned her place as her
friend. So faced with this minor and yet hopeful prospect, she became braver and more optimistic.
Nayeon allowed herself to hope again.

But then something bad happened. Nayeon hurt Jeongyeon again - well, it wasn't intentional but
she still played her own role in the whole thing. Granted, she wasn't the one who uttered those
mean words towards her ex-girlfriend, but she was the one behind the events that triggered the
outburst, so she felt guilty nevertheless. But the guilt in question only came later, much later,
because when it happened Nayeon just lost her temper altogether. She barely remembered the
exact chain of events that led her up to it but by the time she realized it, she was already lunging
forward and being restrained by her friends.

For fuck's sake, Nayeon wished she could fucking end Jennie right there. She wanted to wipe the
floor with her face, take that stupid smile off her lips with her bare hands. She promised herself
she'd do it even if it was the last thing she'd ever do! Nayeon couldn't just fucking stand there and
watch that bitch talk shit about her girl- oh. That's a nice right hook right there. Someone else
stepped up in her place.

Okay, so maybe Mina wasn't so bad. After that Nayeon decided to stop being - in Jihyo's words - a
jerk to that girl- to Mina. Mina. She had a name after all. And besides, she wasn't the one to blame
on Nayeon's very personal drama.

Being rational for a change, why should Nayeon hate her? Because she fell in love with
Jeongyeon? C'mon. She had been there, she knew from experience how easy it was.

So what? She should be mad because Mina was worthy of being with her? Just because Nayeon
failed didn't mean Mina would fail as well.

Or was it because she filled the place Nayeon yearned for? Get over it, you've had your chance
already.

No, none of those reasons were even valid. She kept trying to remind herself that she didn't have
that right anymore. So she better get used to Mina if she really wanted to get any closer to her
girlfriend.

But everything changed after Nayeon stepped onto their rooftop for the first time since she had
gotten back. She felt all her senses being overwhelmed with all the memories that place carried.

Shit, how she wished she could go back to those days. Simpler days even if they weren't easier, but
it was still the days where they were together. She wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Was Jeongyeon drunk? Maybe yes, maybe no. A little bit, probably, but she wasn't entirely sober
either. If she was, she probably would've sent Jihyo over instead of daring to venture into that
place. Nevertheless, Nayeon knew something was going to change as soon as she got up there.

When Nayeon was listening to her ex-girlfriend opening up about how she really felt, that's when
the words started pouring out of her own mouth nonstop. Nayeon blamed it on the alcohol rather
than on the fact that she so desperately wanted Jeongyeon not to hate her.

She blew every plan she had previously articulated, sent it all to hell, just managed to hold back
enough not to reveal too much. Because there was a part she couldn't talk about just yet, she
couldn't drop that bomb on a partially drunk Jeongyeon. But then just when she thought she was
managing to hold on long enough, Jeongyeon's words unsettled her once again.

"You could just say that you didn't love me anymore and go!"

What?? No, that wasn't right!

"Just do it, Nayeon. Just do this one thing for me, please."

Maybe she should've said it. Maybe it was the right thing to do. The only thing she could have
done to set Jeongyeon free once and for all. To free her from all the drama that followed Nayeon
wherever she went. Yeah, Jeongyeon deserved that. Deserved more, deserved better. That's the
whole point.

But no, Nayeon didn't do it, couldn't bring herself to say it. She had to be selfish one more time.
Because as hard as that night was, it was eye-opening as well. For the first time in weeks she felt
that maybe- and just maybe, Jeongyeon still felt something for Nayeon in the same way Nayeon
did for her.

Something beyond hate, beyond annoyance. Something beyond the shitty aspects Nayeon had
brought back into their lives. And if there was the slightest possibility that Jeongyeon felt the same
way, she would cling to it with all of her heart, as if her life depended on it.

"I can't lie to you." Nayeon answered. She couldn't because she never liked the idea of lying to
Jeongyeon, so that's definitely not how she was going to start.

But unlike what she expected, besides the obvious surprise, Jeongyeon's face also twisted in hurt.
Hurt that also lingered with Nayeon when she saw her ex-girlfriend walk out of that rooftop
without saying a single word. Leaving her behind, alone and even more lost. Torn between relief
and regret.

...

Okay, so maybe Jeongyeon just needed some time to think. That's definitely not an easy thing to
hear after everything they've been through. There were too many things she didn't know yet, so
maybe the next time they talk, they can finally work it out.

"What are you thinking about? It's like you're somewhere else." The well-known and yet
unfamiliar voice captured her attention.

Work it out? Work what out, Nayeon? What the hell are you talking about? She has a new
girlfriend now, you two will never work it out the way you want to.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about some assignments I have due for college."

Friends. They could be friends. Nayeon reminded herself even though that word still left a weird
taste in her mouth. But whatever, she would take what she could get.

"Seriously?" Haengja scoffed. "I thought you kids just kept bouncing balls back and forth in that
dirty field of yours."

Okay, Nayeon, focus. Just one more hour and you'll be free for another week.

Nayeon took a deep breath and tried to bring herself back to the conversation.

"I wish." That's all she managed to say. Ironically enough, of course.

Nayeon and her mother had established a routine since Nayeon moved back to Seoul. Haengja
began to visit the city on an almost weekly basis because of her job. During those days, she and
Nayeon would go out for coffee. Lunch, brunch or dinner, whatever they could fit first. The point
was that those meetings boiled down to Haengja criticizing the new major Nayeon had chosen, as
well as virtually every other choice she ever made.

("Seriously? Is that really what you want to do with your life??"

"Here we go..."

"It was bad enough when you wanted to be a player," She'd utter that word with such contempt that
it almost made Nayeon shiver. "I always thought you'd grow out of it, you know? But now you're
all grown up and you want to keep insisting on this nonsense? I'm starting to think you just want to
piss me off at this point."

"The world does not revolve around you, mom. I just wanna do something sport-related. That has
always been a huge part of my life."
"You could do something meaningful with your life, Nayeon! You're still young, you have the
money, the support, everything you need! Do you know how many people would kill to have the
resources you have? The assets we provide for you??"

"I don't wanna get into it again, I've already made up my mind."

"But you can be more! You can do better- I mean, you should, considering the rest of your family.
Your father and I, we-"

"But I'm not you, mom! I'm not him either. I'm my own person and I'm already doing exactly what I
want.")

Same old same old. She already had the whole script memorized.

There were many things Nayeon didn't want to do and yet she did because she felt she owed
something to her family. For the comfortable life her father had provided her since she was a child
and for the best possible medical care her mother's influence provided when she needed the most.

When she was younger she always tried to meet her father's expectations. She has attended
important business dinners at Mr. Im's office since she was old enough to engage in their boring
small talk. For the past few years, after she left her childhood house, a monthly dinner with her dad
was also added to list of her daughterly duties, but this one he still canceled every now and then.
Not that she minded by now, she was used to it already.

Currently, in addition to frequent reunions with her mother, she was also getting weekly calls from
Haengja whenever she was out of town. All of those undertakings were seemingly simple things,
but yet they still manage to take a toll on her.

You owe them at least that much, she kept reminding herself. They were not bad people, just
broken. Just like you. So she told herself to suck it up because it was something she had to do. It
was a small price to pay, after all.

Putting up with her father's insistent requests for her to attend a college abroad. It doesn't matter
what major you're taking, what matters is credibility, he'd always say as if fucking Yonsei wasn't
good enough for him just because he studied abroad himself; and her mother's constant prodding
for her to do something more "realistic" with her life. You could be a lawyer like your dad or a
doctor like me, she pressed for more times that Nayeon could count. But that's a matter she would
never budge on.

Ever since she got the news that surprisingly everything worked out fine and that she was really
gonna make it, she started to count the days so she'd get healthy enough to head back to Seoul. To
Yonsei and to her life before… before everything went south. And even though things didn't turn
out exactly as she planned, she still felt like she had more of a family amidst her friends than she
ever did with the people who brought her into this world.

So Nayeon made up her mind. Set her foot down and told her parents and that that's what she
wanted. That she could follow through and fulfill her role as the dutiful daughter with lunches,
dinners, parties and calls- whatever it took as long as she could be where she really wanted to be,
with the people she cared about the most. Well, not in these words, of course. But it worked - sort
of.

"I just hope it's not too late when you finally quit this stupid thing." Haengja's voice once again
brought her back, but she wasn't going to argue over it this time. She didn't have the energy.
"I need a favor." Nayeon changed the topic and Haengja seemed surprised. She suspiciously raised
an eyebrow and waited for her daughter to continue since she never really asked her for anything.
"I missed a couple of classes this morning so I could be here on time." She lied, careful not to say
the word practice. It'd be an opening for another fight about how much Haengja hated everything
Nayeon loved. "So I was wondering if you could get me a doctor's note?" Nayeon almost flinched
as she made the request. "Just this once, I promise. I mismanaged my schedule today, it won't
happen again."

Haengja stared down at Nayeon for excruciating long seconds before rolling her eyes and taking
the letterhead out of her purse, signing it and then handing the stamped paper to her daughter.
"Don't get used to it."

There, alright. At least that'd be enough to appease Coach Bae about her absence.

Nayeon missed the first training session after her meeting with Jeongyeon on the rooftop. At first
she thought it was best to give Jeongyeon a chance to come to her on her own accord. To seek her
out if she wanted to, to willinling look for her and try to talk about it- or anything, really. But
Jeongyeon didn't do such a thing and in the end it only made Nayeon worry even more.

It was only alone back in her apartment the next day, tossing and turning and mulling over each
one of her moves since she had been back in town, that's when the realness of her actions really
struck her.

She really went out there and confessed her feelings for a committed person. Fuck, Nayeon, way to
go! Jeongyeon must be handling this so fucking well right now. Especially if she actually still had
feelings for her like Nayeon assumed, because on top of everything her ex-girlfriend must be also
feeling guilty right now. Jeongyeon had always been too nice for her own good, loyal to a fault, so
Nayeon was pretty sure she'd feel like she was somehow betraying Mina even without actually
acting on it.

Jeongyeon was with someone else now. She was trying to move on and Nayeon just made things
even harder for her. Again. Of course she did. Because that's all you do, Nayeon, you always
complicate things.

She came back storming into Jeongyeon's life once again, taking over every single spot and sense
of normality which she had conquered on her own. Confusing not only herself but also her ex-
girlfriend in the process. Nayeon had snuck into her team again, into her circle of her friends and
everything else that should be Jeongyeon's and Jeongyeon's alone. She invaded the once Nayeon-
free life she finally got, the drama-free day by day she always deserved. And to top it off Nayeon
was now jeopardizing her current relationship as well??

How the hell do you want her not to hate you when you're acting like that!? You have to let her go!

So Nayeon came to the conclusion that she couldn't keep doing that to Jeongyeon. She had invaded
too much already. She had to back off if she didn't want her ex-girlfriend to end up really hating
her.

She would step back, leave her the fuck alone, and give the space she promised she would weeks
ago and had yet to deliver. Maybe Jeongyeon herself would probably be asking her to stay away
again. After everything Nayeon said on the rooftop there was no way they could just move on as if
nothing happened.

Either Jeongyeon would step up and demand the answers she was unable to get that night, or she
would just ask for more distance once and for all. Both options seemed equally bad to Nayeon.
That's why she avoided her ex-girlfriend for a couple days later, when they finally met again at
practice. However, what she didn't expect was that there was a third option. The third scenario
which actually happened when Jeongyeon told Nayeon that she didn't remember the occurrences of
that particular night. Nayeon was relieved at the same rate she was disappointed.

Relieved because that way she probably wouldn't be bringing any more trouble into her ex-
girlfriend's life. But she was also disappointed because somehow the little flame of hope that still
lived inside her thought that something might change from then on. In the end she was just fooling
herself yet again.

"What I'm trying to say is that... I'm trying, Nayeon. I really am."

Okay, so she really wanted to try this whole friendship thing? That's it? Great, Nayeon was fine
with that. She would take what she could get.

"I know." She earnestly answered. "That's enough for me."

It was about time to put out that fucking dying flame once and for all.

The following days were less... well, less awkward, but less awkward didn't mean any less
challenging. Jeongyeon was much more willing towards her now, but the same could not be said
about Sana. Every single day she found a new way to piss Nayeon off. Whether it was taunting her,
rolling her eyes or casting her dirty looks. Everything- virtually every fucking thing she'd say or do
had the potential to make her mad. But that's okay, she could handle it, she kept trying to convince
herself. It didn't last long though.

After a while, Nayeon wasn't having it anymore. The first time she finally fought back by hurling
an insult of her own, Nayeon could swear she saw a glint in Sana's eyes. She mostly tried to behave
whenever Jeongyeon was around, especially since things were starting to get better between them.
She thought it wasn't worth it putting everything on the line because of that, but still, it wasn't long
before she engaged in not-so-friendly bickering with Sana again, receiving scolding glances from
Jihyo on a daily basis.

But there were also other things that still threw her out of her game. Mina, for instance, even if she
wasn't even trying.

"Like I said before, If you're gonna cook then it's a party for me." Ugh, how could such a plain
sentence drive her out of her mind like that?

Mina was good. Mina was nice. She put Jennie in her place, for fuck's sake. Mina was her fucking
girlfriend. Get over it already!

But when Jeongyeon went out of her way to invite her to her party Nayeon almost forgot all about
Mina. Wait no, not a party, a gathering, like she said. That's when she realized that maybe things
might be starting to look up a little. And if to ensure that everything would continue to go her way
she needed to make an effort to get along with Mina, then that's exactly what she'd do. No matter
what the cost.

Well, that is, until she saw Mina making a bet with Sana. A stupid bet about kissing someone else -
fucking Sana, of all poeple - right in front of her own girlfriend? Fuck, what was the hell was her
problem? Nayeon was so appalled that she was unable to function properly for a couple of seconds.
When she finally got back to her senses, her eyes roamed the room looking for Jeongyeon, but only
found her back disappearing into the kitchen. Without any hesitation, Nayeon stood up and chased
after her. She needed to check if she was okay. She would settle that with Mina - and Sana, stupid
Sana - personally and later, but her priority was to make sure Jeongyeon was fine before anything
else.

But as usual these days, as soon as she approached Jeongyeon, instead of helping her she ended up
causing a mess. What she didn't expect was that said mess would take her on a short trip to her ex-
girlfriend's bedroom.

It wasn't a feeling she could quite put into words, but to be there in that place where everything was
screaming Yoo Jeongyeon at the top of its lungs was just... damn. Yeah, that's the best she could
do.

While it was a good sign of a promising step forward in this new dynamic between the two of
them, it was also a painful reminder that Nayeon was no longer as much of a part of her ex-
girlfriend's life as once was. As silly as it might sound, those were her first thoughts going in there.

That place was full of Jeongyeon and only her. Not that it was discomforting for Nayeon to be in a
place entirely Jeongyeon-like by any means, quite the opposite, actually. The thing was that an
overwhelming emotional load came over her all of a sudden, making her feel burdened, but
Jeongyeon's voice snapped her out of that unexpected trance. Yet, that thought still didn't leave her
mind as she was bandaging Jeongyeon up. All she could think about was how much things had
changed.

Back in their hometown, Jeongyeon's room was littered with hints of Nayeon. Or at least it used to
be, as she liked to remember. From pictures to gifts, shared pieces of clothing to furniture chosen
together. Even the dorm room Jeongyeon shared with Sana during their freshman year was packed
with tokens of her- of them, as a couple. Nayeon vividly remembered the japanese girl making
jokes and complaining about how she felt like she was actually Nayeon's roommate instead of
Jeongyeon's. She never thought she would miss it, but there she was, missing it all the same.

But that new place… that room, that was just Jeongyeon. There was no moving in together like
they dreamed of for so long. This time there was no Nayeon helping her choose the colors for the
walls or sending her links of furnishings that would bring the space to better use. There was no
Nayeon helping her move boxes up the stairs or assisting Jeongyeon in sorting out what would be
kept or what would be donated to goodwill during the move. There were no pictures of the two of
them on the walls although the faces of virtually every other member of the team were up on her
new mural.

No. There was none of the things they had planned all those years ago. Nothing at all.

Jeongyeon had moved on, Nayeon had to remind herself once again. She should move on too.
Jeongyeon was with someone else now, she had Mina. And Mina had her too.

However, Jeongyeon wasn't exactly an ordinary person, that's another thing Nayeon knew all too
well about her. Jeongyeon was something else and anyone who had the privilege of being with her
should treat her as such. There were certain ways she needed to be spoken to, that she needed to be
touched and treated as well. And Nayeon knew every single one of them by heart, she had learned
every little detail about her. She still caught herself remembering these traits at random and
inappropriates moments, and she always ended up cursing herself for it.

But how could Nayeon be sure that Mina knew all of that too? How would she know if Mina really
took care of her properly? If she really deserved to be with the person Nayeon loved?

Because for what she had just witnessed right there in the living room, that girl wasn't appreciating
Jeongyeon the way she should and-
"Mina is not my girlfriend."

Wait, what?? She wasn't!?

That's probably both the best and the worst thing she had learned in the last few weeks.

The best because she could finally stop trying to actively hate Mina so much. Well, with the recent
new set of information she just got, she still wasn't very fond of her either, but still. As much as she
hated to admit it, it was really hard to keep shutting herself off and trying to dislike her when all
Mina ever did was be nice and take care of not only Jeongyeon but also everyone else around her.
Besides, somehow she managed to keep Sana in check, so that was a plus.

But it was also the worse because no matter how much she tried to dodge it, there was that fucking
hopeful flame shining brighter than ever yet again. Stupid flame.

Fuck, Nayeon needed to get out that bedroom. Everything about Jeongyeon was clouding her
judgment right now. Her perfume and her warmth... even the sight of her. She was feeling
overwelmed and would probably do something dumb, likely inconsequential if she didn't get the
hell out there soon.

In her struggle to all but flee the room, that pathetic little flame grew even brighter when
Jeongyeon walked up to her and thanked her as if that simple dressing was the last straw of water in
the whole world. And then Nayeon made the mistake - one more for the list - of letting her eyes
drift down to Jeongyeon's lips for a second. A quick, single, precious little second. It was brief,
very brief- a fleeting moment if she must, but still a major mistake in her books. Because her mind
immediately got busy working in all the ways she could close the distance between them. Every
possible angle she could lean in and satisfy the desire that had been burning inside her for too
fucking long.

It'd be easy, so easy, and Jeongyeon was right there. She was just standing there, so close and...
wait, was she- no, she couldn't... could she? Was she- was she really waiting?

Nayeon never got to find out and she didn't know whether to thank or curse both Sana and Mina for
that, what she did know was that something definitely changed after that. Jeongyeon wasn't just
civil anymore, she was also kind and even... friendly? She tried to strike up conversations with
Nayeon instead of just replying. She no longer avoided her as well, so that had to count as a good
thing, right? At least Nayeon thought so.

She also had to put her mind to work again and set the perfect comeback against the volleyball
team since the kids and Momo had been complaining about it for a few days now, so she thought
she'd better get it over with already. Besides, she was also dying to teach Jennie a lesson, so she
couldn't lie and say she was doing it just out of pressure.

When she pitched her - modesty aside - quite brilliant idea, Jeongyeon was a little unwilling at first
and Nayeon couldn't help but feel a little annoyed. Would that be another step backwards after all
they'd been through? But no, it wasn't that. It was just her ex-girlfriend taking care of her again
after all this time and damn- it felt good. It felt so good to be on the receiving end of Jeongyeon's
regard again that Nayeon felt like she could cry right then and there. But at least she managed to
wait until she got home to unleash the happy tears that she hadn't experienced in a really long time.

Eventually everything worked out perfectly well. Nayeon let herself have some fun and play the
game she loved again even if only for a little. She wasn't pleased when she realized she wasn't
keeping up with her friends, but it made her realize that she hadn't really exercised in months. Her
doctor's orders were moderate exercise rather than a sedentary life, but she never got around to
putting it into practice ever since she came back. She lied every time her mother asked her about it,
but after that game she made a mental note that she should change her habits soon so she could
actually enjoy more moments like that with them.

But when they left the gym she found Jeongyeon standing right in front of Jihyo's car, all but
forcing her to let her tag along. Not that it would've been difficult to convince Nayeon on any other
occasion, but this was something she had already chosen to do on her own since there was too
much at stake. She couldn't let Jeongyeon take that risk. But Jeongyeon wasn't anything if not
stubborn and once she put something into her mind, no one could take it out. And thank God for
that, Nayeon thought a couple of hours later, because otherwise she would've been screwed.

Nayeon spent the whole way there stressing herself out and thinking of how much she really had to
make it work now that Jeongyeon was going to be there too. But in the end Jeongyeon ended up
saving her ass and they still managed to have some kind of a heart to heart while hiding inside that
pantry, so it wasn't so bad.

What mattered was that the plan had been successful. They made it and they should be proud.

At least that's what she tried to focus on - mostly because that's what Jeongyeon requested - but
even so, something inside her still burst out when they were celebrating at the Beach House.
Nayeon was already on edge and the alcohol in her system definitely didn't help. She knew that this
outburst was about far more than just that particular episode with Sana. No, it wasn't even the fact
that she had put Jeongyeon in danger this time, it was also the outcome of the weeks of taunts and
teasing finally catching up to her. Everything she had put up with quietly. For all she had just bent
down and accepted, so she ended up losing all of her cool that night.

But Sana backed off and she knew she should probably stop as well. Even with all of their hassles,
Sana was still trying to give her an easy way out. For Jeongyeon, probably, but still. And Nayeon
should've taken it, she really should, but the thing was that she just couldn't bring herself to back
off. Her anger wasn't only directed towards Sana anymore when flashes of Mina wearing
Jeongyeon's clothes and wrapping her arms around her popped into her mind, so she ended up
taking it out on the other girl as well.

So yeah, maybe Nayeon needed to work on her anger issues, and maybe on this whole projection
stuff as well. But whatever it was, that's a thought for some other time. Right then, all she could
see was red.

Goddammit, why the hell Sana had to make things so hard? Nayeon knew she deserved her
backlash to some extent, but shit, wasn't she overdoing it a bit? It wasn't exactly easy to see
someone she once liked so much hating her like that and going out of her way just to set her up. So
maybe that so-called friendship they used to have was really a one-sided thing all along. That's
what Nayeon thought out loud as she vented to Jeongyeon.

Only at the end of that night, when she finally laid her head on her pillow, Nayeon calmly
managed to review all the events of that day.

First off- seriously, was there a realistic limit as to how much she could hate someone? Because
Nayeon really didn't think her loathing for Jennie could grow any stronger, but it apparently did.
That girl had the nerve to call the best person she ever knew a fucking coward? Fuck her.

Alright, it's fine, Nayeon probably had gotten her revenge for that that evening, but she still did one
more thing just to make sure Jennie knew. She finished her phone and sent a quick snap to the
other captain to let that cold-hearted bitch know exactly who had pulled all of that on her own
home.
And then, once she was feeling calmer, the remaining events of the day gradually caught up to her
as well. The way Jeongyeon held her hand without a moment's hesitation. More than once and
notwithstanding, she also sought to reach out again once they were inside the car. Naturally and
smoothly, just like in the good old days. It made Nayeon remember how well they still fit together
and it also made the goddamn flame of hope rise once again.

No, that was probably just an involuntary impulse. Maybe a pavlovian response, an automatic
reaction or a muscle memory thing. She bet Jeongyeon didn't even realize it. Nayeon kept trying
not to get her hopes up.

But it wasn't an involuntary impulse that led her ex-girlfriend to join her on the rooftop and it
wasn't a pavlovian response that made her seek her out and try to make her feel better. It wasn't just
automatically when she explicitly said that she was there for Nayeon and it definitely wasn't just
muscle memory that made her slip her fingers between Nayeon's to lock their hands together one
more time.

No, it didn't feel unintentional at all when Jeongyeon once again reminded Nayeon that she could
handle anything if only she had her by her side. None of that was unintended, all of those things
were choices. Jeongyeon's choices. Jeongyeon chose her again.

So maybe, and always just a maybe because Nayeon didn't want to get her hopes too high just get
frustrated at herself, maybe Jeongyeon really did still have some feelings for her.

Would it be silly to pursue that? Probably yes, but she didn't care. She dwelled on it and started to
actually nurse that idea. The thought that maybe she didn't have to just accept what she could get,
but that she could get what she really wanted after so long.

But there was still too much at stake, she couldn't simply act on an assumption or make a move
when she wasn't even sure. She couldn't take the risk of making things awkward between them, of
ruining whatever she already had at that moment. Nayeon wasn't willing to lose anything else, that
much she was sure, so she decided to wait for a while. Test the waters and check if her theory
might be right.

But over the next few days, her fight with Sana - and Mina - made things a little awkward among
the group. Nayeon backed off a little but she'd still meet with Jeongyeon in private. She could feel
that they were getting a bit closer with each passing day. Their chats were growing longer, their
giggles more frequent and their moments more familiar.

Then maybe - yes, maybe once again - maybe all those maybes would no longer be merely
possibilities. Maybe it'd in fact become something real in the near future.

That's exactly what Nayeon was thinking about when a few loud and insistent knocks at her door
interrupted her daydreaming. No one visited her apartment, Nayeon didn't invite anyone over. She
spent as much time as possible out of there, anyway, mainly going back "home" just to sleep and
that's about it. That's why she always liked it when her friends would meet anywhere else.
Jeongyeon and Momo's apartment was her favorite for more than one reason, but any of their
places felt better than her own.

She opened the door and found herself face to face with one of the only people who knew where
she lived: Jihyo, since she had already dropped her off after they hung out before. But the captain
wasn't alone, there was another person right behind her. And before Nayeon could get a word out,
Jihyo all but pushed a scowling Sana into the apartment before she stepped in herself.

"Alright, listen up because I'm only gonna say it once." Jihyo started a slurred and moody, yet still
 authoritative monologue. "I've waited a long time to get all of us back together and I'm not going to
let whatever petty squabbling you've been having ruin everything. I'm tired of walking on
eggshells every time you two are in the same place and I know for a fact that the rest of our friends
aren't comfortable with it either. No one can stand whatever the hell it is that you two have going
on anymore!" Nayeon tried to protest, she wanted to say that she was innocent. That Sana was the
one who was always trying to get under her skin, but Jihyo wasn't having it. "Yes, the both of you
because it takes two to tango. You may not be the one who starts it most of the time, Nayeon, but
you always go along with it! So neither of you two are innocent, but you wanna fight? Fine! Then
fight! Do whatever you want! Scream at each other or throw a few punches, I don't care! But settle
whatever it is right here, right now, and once and for all because I'm sick and tired of watching
Jeongyeon and Momo hurting because you two are fucking morons!"

The names of their two other friends made the pair look uncomfortable. Both of them looked away
from the very angry Jihyo.

"What? You think they're not affected by all of this? Then you surely must not see the way they
always look at you walking away whenever one of you leaves the table just because the other is
drawing closer. Or how they get uncomfortable every time they have to choose with whom they're
going to spend time for the day. They're your friends, they love you both, and you're making them
feel like they're choosing sides! And don't get me started on how much it irks me because I don't
understand what the heck is going on inside your heads. You clearly care about each other, can't
you see?! A full blown idiot would know- well, all of them except the two of you. So why do you
insist on harboring whatever this petty problem is instead of just being honest and putting it behind
you already? It's about time!"

Jihyo was panting and flushed red at that point, but yet feeling quite relieved to be putting it all out
there.

"Anyway," She sighed and ran her hand through her hair like she always did when she was
frustrated. "Just don't kill each other, okay? We'd have to attend a funeral and we'd be definitely
losing a few days of practice in the process. And you know, no one wants that right before the
season starts, it's bad for morale so just... don't- don't kill each other for now."

She took a glance around as if she was suddenly feeling self-conscious, then she just shook her
head before finally walking away. But she turned around one more time before shutting the door
behind her.

"I'll see the both of you- yes, the both of you!" Jihyo severely pointed at each of them. "At lunch
tomorrow. Have a good night!"

After that she turned around and slammed the door shut as she left, leaving both Nayeon and Sana
wide-eyed and speechless behind.

Nayeon was the first to react, but she still didn't say anything. First she shook her head and then
looked at Sana - really looked at her for the first time in days. She found her looking atypically
shrunken and visibly tired with dark circles under her eyes. She was wearing a cap and baggy
clothes, had her hands inside her pockets and an almost embarrassed look on her face as she eyed
Nayeon, but still, Sana was the one who spoke up first.

"Wanna take a walk?"

Chapter End Notes

hey, nayeon's pov is here. maybe some of you were expecting this chapter to feature a
part of her time away with her mother and honestly i even wrote a little bit about it, but
in the end i decided to drop it and start from when she was back to yonsei because
otherwise it'd get way too sad and i'm done with sadness for now (mostly, i mean).

anyway, this chapter was just a collection of nayeon's thoughts and feelings to give
you a little insight of what's going on in her mind, but the next one will be the biggest
one yet (it's plus 15k words so far) to deliver most of the answers i've been promising
all this time, to dig deeper into the nayeon's relationship with sana and to understand
more about sana's past as well. of course, we'll also have a bit of 2yeon and misana in
the process. i hope you'll bear with me, i can't wait to share the next one with you.
 your secret is safe with me (nayeon's version)
Chapter Summary

Maybe in another reality, or even in a distant future, Jeongyeon would be truly happy
with someone else. Maybe in another world Nayeon would've managed to move on
too. Maybe she would've been able to free them from what seemed like an endless
loop.

But in this reality, in this world, in this time, right in the present, Nayeon was utterly
and irrevocably in love with Yoo Jeongyeon. She was bound to her- meant for her,
even. And she would never let anyone talk her out of it ever again, not even herself.

Chapter Notes

some serious shit is about to go down in this chapter so tw for a bit of homophobia, i
guess? well, there's some other stuff too, but i'm not good with tagging so proceed at
your own risk

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Why the hell are you wearing a baseball cap at night? There's no fucking sun to hide from."

"Because it makes me look good."

"It's stupid."

"You are stupid."

"Did you bring me out just to insult me?"

"You're the one who started it!?"

"Whatever. Where are we going?"

"I don't know yet."

"You don't- what the heck?? Are you planning on killing me and dumping my body in a ditch or
what?"

"Jihyo specifically told us not to kill each other."

"Since when do you listen to Jihyo?"

"I may like to annoy her, but I always listen to her."

"You like to annoy a lot of people."

"Shut up. I just need a drink."

"So you took me out of my place to buy me a drink?"

"Of course not, Trust Fund Baby. You can buy your own drink."

"I'm going back home." Nayeon rolled her eyes and turned around. Started to walk back through
the same path they had come from.

It's stupid anyway. Nayeon should've known better. Sana was only there because Jihyo forced her
to, she didn't want to talk to her, let alone settle anything.

"Nayeon..." Sana called out loudly since there was some distance between them now. Nayeon
stopped in her tracks when she noticed how atypically distressed Sana sounded. She halted, but
didn't turn around. "I just..." She sighed. "I don't think I can do this sober. That's why I need some
booze."

Letting out her own tired and defeated sigh, Nayeon turned around, crossed her arms and narrowed
her eyes as she carefully glanced back at the other girl. She was wearing a cap and a black
sweatshirt that was at least two sizes too big, making her look atypically small. The ends of the
sleeves were hiding her hands and her cheeks were slightly flushed. She brought her hands to her
pockets and started tapping her foot awkwardly when she felt Nayeon scrutinizing her down.

"Wait, are you- have you been drinking already?" Her eyes were what gave her away. Nayeon had
already won way too many games of beer pong alongside Sana to know that that's exactly how her
eyes look when she's starting to get tipsy.

"Just enough to ask Jihyo for help." She confessed. "Not even close to what I really need to be so I
can tell you… well, everything I want to."

"You went to Jihyo for help?" It piqued Nayeon's interest, but Sana was visibly uncomfortable. She
just shrugged and shifted her body weight from one leg to the other as she waited.

So with one more weary sigh Nayeon started walking again. Not toward her apartment or to where
Sana was supposedly leading them, but she looked both ways and muttered a grumpy follow me
before she crossed the street.

Nayeon didn't know what Sana's deal was. Not in a pejorative sense now, she just really didn't
understand what was going on. She had never seen her so... awkward. But if Sana went as far as
asking Jihyo for help, that must mean she was trying, right? So the least she could do was to try as
well. Even if only for Jeongyeon and Momo's sake.

"Did you know I have a sister?" Sana was halfway through her second beer when she finally spoke
up.

They were sitting on a bench a couple of blocks away from Nayeon's apartment building. She
chose to take Sana there because that's where she liked to spend her time when she didn't wanna be
home alone. She had been coming by almost every other night to chill and enjoy cool evening
weather.

It wasn't really busy barring a few people jogging or exercising around the park, besides a group of
children playing on the playground nearby. The other side of the street had a handful of bars and
restaurants, but they also didn't look so crowded since it was a weekday. Still, different songs could
be heard coming out from each one of them. Nayeon and Sana drank in silence for a while,
enjoying the fresh air until Sana decided-or rather mustered the guts to get started.

"Uh, not really. I didn't." Nayeon frowned. That's brand new information for her. As far as she
knew, Momo was the closest thing she had from a sister.

Back in their freshman year, as they gradually grew closer, they naturally got to know more about
each other's pasts as well. Within just a couple of months, Sana's eventual jokes about being an
orphan were in serious competition with Nayeon's about her mommy issues, not forgetting Jihyo's
remarks about being a disappointment to her uptight and overly conservatives parents.

Jeongyeon and Momo were a little slow to get used to it. For far more times that they could recall,
they'd exchange some awkward worried looks without really knowing what to say whenever they
caught a slightly darker joke, but if that's their way of coping, all they could do was be there for
them. To each their own, they always thought.

They all came together not only through soccer, their respective roommates or other shared
interests. But the three of them, in particular, also bonded over their similar personal experiences,
so they became some kind of a support system for each other whenever things would get too tough.

Not that Jeongyeon and Momo weren't good enough, quite the opposite. But even though they were
critically valuable in all of their lives, they never had to go through the troubles the other three did.
Momo's family had always been for Sana the same safe place as Jeongyeon's was for Nayeon and
Jihyo, or maybe even more since Sana actually lived with the Harai's for a while. In the end, they
always relied on their best friends to keep them going, but sometimes they also needed people who
really could relate to their experience.

"Yeah, that's a dumb question." Sana chuckled giddily. The booze was probably kicking in by now.
"Until last year nobody but Momo knew." Nayeon eyed her in question and Sana shrugged.
"Jeongyeon and Jihyo know about her now. Well, and Dahyun too, by association."

"So that's what we're talking about? Your sister?" Nayeon hesitantly asked even though she already
knew the answer. Sana obviously wouldn't bring her up if they weren't, but she didn't see how it
was relevant now. Sana nodded anyway.

"She... uh, she's older. Like, ten years older than me." Sana squirmed in her seat and kept her eyes
fixed ahead. Not at anything in specific, just avoiding Nayeon gaze. "They were addicts. Our
parents, I mean. And I don't have many memories from when we were kids. I know it was bad, but
I don't... I was just too young. And the few things I remember I wish I could forget."

She shot a brief glance at Nayeon, as though she wasn't sure if she should keep going. She didn't
have to say anything for her to understand why. Sana was probably afraid something she said could
trigger bad feelings within Nayeon. If the look on Sana's face was any indication, that conversation
definitely wasn't going to be easy for either of them.

"Go ahead, I'm listening" But no matter how hard it might be, Nayeon wouldn't deny Sana that. If
that's something she wanted to share, then Nayeon would be there to listen to her. So Sana took a
long swig of the bottle in her hand before continuing.

"I was six when I was put into the system, but I have no idea if they died or if we were just taken
from them. I really don't know and I never wanted to know after I was old enough to understand.
All I do know is that one day I was coming home from school and there was a social worker at the
door. A couple of cops too, you know, the whole circus. After that I never saw them again. And I
didn't think I'd ever see her again either, but I did."
The sister. Okay. It's a bit tricky, but Nayeon was following. But she should probably stop at her
third bottle anyway. She was trying to drink along to keep up with Sana, but it sounded like a big
deal, so she better quit and make sure her whole mind was on it.

"I spent years in foster care. An orphanage to be exact. I never had a foster family back then or
anything like that, not even temps. But it was better because I keep watching those kids going back
and forth all the time. I didn't understand why anyone would be willing to take care of them if
when things got a little too hard they'd just... anyway, that's beside the point." She shook her head
to resume her focus. "The point is that the last thing I expected happened when she showed up one
day and got me out of there."

"When did this happen?" Nayeon softly asked.

"I was twelve at the time and she had just recently gotten married. She married into a very wealthy
family, by the way. I don't know how that happened, I just know that she looked for me. And I
didn't... I wasn't expecting it, you know. To see her grown up, married, I mean, just knowing that
she was alive was already a shock for me. But she showed up, got me out of there and took me to
her place. All within a fucking day so it was pretty weird."

"I can imagine." Nayeon said just above a whisper. Although she herself had experienced a weird
relative comeback when her mother popped back into her life at a similar age, she could
acknowledge that the situations were pretty different, so she could only imagine how awkward and
confusing it must have been for a kid to deal with all on her own.

"But it was the best thing that ever happened to me." A wistful smile took over Sana's countenance.
"Not because of her, but that's why I met Momo. At my new school, on my first day." She
pondered for a moment, like a memory was flashing before her eyes. "Back then we were both too
shy to fit in with the rest, can you imagine?" Sana almost laughed. "Then one of the teachers set us
up as seatmates and that's it. We've been together ever since."

"You sound like a character straight out of a cheesy rom-com."

"Shut up." Sana chuckled and took one more sip before moving on. Her expressions hardened once
again. "I- I had to get to know her again. My sister, I mean. We were pretty much strangers at that
point, we hadn't seen each other in years. I can't say it was easy, but eventually we got along. I tried
to trust her and she... she tried to love me, I guess." Sana made a face as if she was trying to
understand her own words. "But she was... she had good intentions. I could see that she was trying,
but somehow I also knew that it was harder for her than it was for me. There were times when she
would look at me and I... I just knew she saw our parents. Because even though I was too young to
remember, she wasn't. She remembered everything."

"Did she let that stand in the way of your relationship?" Nayeon supposed because that wasn't a
happy-ending kind of story. First because Sana had never mentioned having a sister before, and
second because she made it clear that she needed to be drunk to talk about it. Sana, of all people. If
she couldn't talk about something sober, it definitely wasn't a good thing.

"Unfortunately, no." Sana mused aloud. "We got through it, the both of us. It took a while, but I
was able to trust her. It was hard at first because I felt like she had abandoned me. I didn't
understand that she was just a teenager when they split us up, but we worked on that and
eventually she also stopped seeing our parents' mistakes every time she looked at me. So yeah, we
had a good couple of years before it all went south."

"What happened then?"

"Her husband happened." Sana sputtered with such hatred that it made Nayeon hold her breath. "At
least at first I thought it was just him. Which sucked because he seemed like a decent guy when we
first met. He was way older than my sister, but we got along just fine. He always took us out for
walks, and lunches, he'd buy anything my sister wanted and he always asked about my day at
school." She sighed and closed her eyes for a second. "They really made me believe that I was part
of their family." Another pregnant pause and a terrible feeling settled from her chest to the pit of
her stomach as she waited in anticipation. "Except for the fact that they were all huge
homophobes."

"Shit." Nayeon gasped and cussed under her breath without even realizing it. And even though she
knew she should probably stop drinking, she leaned over to reach for the small crate she had
bought at one of the bars out front to open yet another bottle. She felt like she was gonna need it.
"That sucks."

"Big time." Sana nodded. "I mean, I know I should've seen it coming since he was a preacher, but I
felt so comfortable with them before that it really blindsided me. It wasn't a problem for a long time
because that was never a topic that was discussed at our house. In some of the Sunday lectures,
yeah, of course, but only by the other ministers. He never said anything so I thought he might be
different. I hoped he would, you know?" Nayeon also nodded even though Sana wasn't looking. "I
even used to like going to church every weekend. Not because of the place or the people, but...
there was one person in particular."

Nayeon hummed in response as the pieces were starting to come together.

"She was… lovely. A couple of years older than me and one of the few people in that place who
didn't treat me like I was a fucking charity case." Sana sighed. "And I don't know exactly how it
happened, but by the time I realized we were... I don't know what we were doing, but we had...
something. Until one day we messed up. I messed up." Unlike the wistful smile that broke out
when Sana was talking about Momo, that look, though still wistful, carried no sort of joy. "We
hadn't seen each other in a few weeks because of a summer camp she had to attend and I was so
distracted because of how much I missed her that I forgot to lock the door. That's when my sister's
husband caught us kissing in the kids room at the back of the church.

"But he didn't yell at me like I expected him to by the look on his face. Actually, he didn't say
anything at all for a while. He just told me to get out and go sit with my sister, and I didn't really
understand but I was in no place to question, so that's what I did. We also didn't talk about it in the
diner we used to grab lunch every Sunday or when we got back home. And not for a few days, for
that matter, so I thought we were going to just ignore it altogether. With that in mind, I didn't say
anything to my sister either. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know what she'd say. I was afraid
she'd... you know, not be cool with it.

"I wanted to tell her still, but I was waiting so I could talk to Miyeon again. Check on her and ask if
I could tell my sister because it was supposed to be a secret- our secret, not just mine, so I thought I
should ask her before telling anyone else." Sana's voice broke at the end of the sentence. Her eyes
grew glossy and a few stray tears began to fall down. "But... she wasn't there. Next Sunday, I mean.
Which was odd because she was one of the leaders of the youth group and she would never miss a
single lecture without prior notice. But at the end of the sermon my sister's husband announced that
Miyeon's family was asked to leave the congregation because of sinful practices partaking by their
daughter."

Nayeon needed no further explanation to know that Miyeon was the girl Sana was caught kissing.
She closed her eyes and breathed heavily, letting her head fall back. Felt like the worst headache in
the world was about to strike her right there. "Shit, Sana. That's... I'm sorry, he's a fucking jerk."
"Wait, that's not the worst part yet." Sana stated with a wry smile which wasn't consistent with the
story she was telling, let alone with the tone of her voice. She wiped away the tears with the back
of her hands before she went on. "When we left the church that day he said we'd go for a drive.
Just the two of us and I pretty much quivered the whole ride. He took me to same diner we used to
go on Sundays, but when he pulled into the parking he lot told me- he had the fucking nerve to tell
me that I didn't have to thank him."

Nayeon's anger grew stronger with each passing word. She tightened her grip on the bottle in her
hand until her knuckles turned white.

"He said he sent Miyeon away because she was leading me astray. He also said she was old
enough to know what was right and what was wrong and yet she chose to corrupt me. Which was
stupid, because I was fifteen and she was like, barely seventeen, but he just... he said I didn't know
the right path yet, but that it was his responsibility to teach me. So we got into the restaurant and
he walked us to a table which was already taken by a couple and a boy. I recognized them because
they were part of our congregation, but I didn't know any of their names because I never really
cared enough. We sat down, he ordered for us, and in the middle of lunch he announced that the
boy, the couple's son, was going to be my brand new boyfriend from that day on."

"What!?" Nayeon scoffed. Her eyebrows shoot up as she replied in an almost comical tone. That's
probably one of the stupidest things she had ever heard.

"Yep, he got me a boyfriend. An honest to God boyfriend. He told the both of us that it wasn't
something up to discussion. That the decision between the grown ups had already been made and
all we had to do was to go along with it."

Nayeon just shook her head in disbelief. She wasn't one to be left speechless, but this time she
didn't know what to say.

"I didn't know what to do. I wanted to talk to my sister and tell her how I felt about it, but I didn't
do that because that was the man who put a roof over our heads, you know. So what could she
possibly do? Go against his word?? I didn't want to put her in a shitty situation like that, she had
done too much for me already. So I thought the best thing I could do was to give it a try." Sana
finished her bottle in one last long swig and quickly bent down to pick up another one from the
ground. "And I tried, I really, really did. For weeks and then for months. But deep down I always
knew it'd never work out. He was a good guy and we also went to the same school. He was kind
and- and cute, I guess, but-"

"He was a guy." Nayeon cut her off. She nodded and shrugged. "I get it."

"Yeah." Sana kept staring into nothing. "And Momo... well, she always helped me a lot. Back then
she was really the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning. While everyone at school kept
talking about how lucky I was to be with such a nice guy, she was the only one who really saw
right through me. It was in the little things, like how she'd always hang out with us so I wouldn't
feel uncomfortable being alone with him, or how she'd step up and say she already had plans with
me every time one of his friends proposed a couples' date or something like that. Honestly, if it
hadn't been for her it'd have been so much worse. Especially because she was the one who helped
me build up the courage I needed to break up.

"It took almost a year, but I finally did it. He was as lost as me and I'm pretty sure he even felt
grateful that I finally did what he couldn't. We almost became friends in all that, so at the end it
was a mutual choice since neither of us wanted to be in that relationship. The next day, over
breakfast, I went downstairs and told my sister that we had broken up. I didn't say why or elaborate
anything, I just said it was over and that it was mutual. I never really told her anything about my
supposed relationship with him because from day one it was her husband who proudly announced
that I had a boyfriend." She paused once again and her eyes grew even darker. Her brows were
deeply frowned, her lips were trembling and Nayeon had never seen Sana look so distressed. "Her
husband wasn't home that morning, it was just me and her so I thought it'd be easier that way too. If
I told her and then she was the one to tell him, you know. But the only thing she did was look at me
and say no."

"No?" Nayeon confusedly asked.

"Exactly, I was just as puzzled. So I asked and she said that we weren't allowed to break up. Said I
should get used to it, I mean, to him, because we'd be getting married as soon as we graduated."

That's fucking insane. Nayeon could hardly believe what she just heard. She had many things to
say - cursing and name-calling to do, if she was being honest - but at that moment it didn't seem
appropriate so she just kept listening.

"That's the first time we ever fought." Sana went on. "That's also the first time she let me know
that she knew everything that was going on. Because deep down I knew she knew, but I always
chose to believe that it was just her husband, you know? It was easier to make him out as the bad
guy, but in the end she was just as bad as him. She said she wouldn't put her family at risk because
of my- my sick preferences and that I should learn how to behave properly or else-" Her voice
trailed off and she gulped. "Or they would have no place for me in that house anymore."

"That's when you left?" Nayeon wondered. She knew Momo's family had taken Sana in and
eventually adopted her, so she figured that's when it happened.

"I wish I had that kind of courage." She sheepishly confessed. Not that she had any reason to feel
ashamed. She was just a teenager, Nayeon wanted to make sure she knew that but Sana just kept
going. "I told her I'd take care of it and I went to school like any other day. But I felt... I don't
know, numb? Honestly I just wanted to get it over with. So I waited by his locker and told him we
should get back together. He just looked at me for a long time before he nodded and took my hand.
I didn't have to explain anything, I guess the tears in my eyes were enough for him to understand."
Her gaze was still unfocused as if she was going over everything again. This time the silence lasted
a little longer and Nayeon had to pull her back to earth.

"Sana?" Her tone was soft, but enough for her to understand.

"Sorry." She shook her head and snapped out of it. Sniffed and took off her cap to run her hand over
her hair before putting it back on. Nayeon knew she was just trying to buy time, but she was okay
with it. "Anyway, he kept holding my hand as we walked side by side down the halls as if nothing
had happened. As if we hadn't broken up the day before, as if neither of us wanted to be there.

"I'll never forget the look on Momo's face when we came into the classroom together. She stared at
our hands and then cast a questioning look at me. I was embarrassed because just the day before
Momo was saying how proud she was since I was finally standing up for myself, but I felt
cornered. I didn't know what to do, so I thought the best way out was to lie to her too. I told her that
I really liked him and that I wanted to try again. That I'd work harder to make things work that
time. It was bullshit, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her what really happened at first. Of course
she didn't buy any of that. So my second plan was to try to avoid her for a few days. But she never
gave up, you know, she kept trying to get to the bottom of it and you know Momo, she's not the
kind of person who gives up easily. Or rather she's not the kind of person who gives up at all."

"That's both her best quality and her worst fault." Nayeon pointed out and Sana nodded.
"So eventually I ended up spilling the whole thing. I broke down in front of her and she wouldn't let
me go back home after that, she took me to her place. It wasn't unusual, I was a regular presence
around her household already. Sometimes I felt like I spent more time at her place than in my own
house, to be honest. But that day she also told her parents everything and they promised they would
help me figure it out. One way or another, they said. And I believed them.

"Momo's mother is a lawyer and I always admired how good she was with her words. I know that's
stupid but I like to think that's where I got it from. I trust her a lot, you know, and I've always
looked up to her. Since back then she always did everything she could for me. So she tried to talk
to my sister and tell her that she couldn't just force me into dating someone. She made her whole
case without bringing up the fact that I didn't even like boys even though deep down she knew. I
knew she did, but that wasn't the point because it didn't matter to her." She sighed after those words
and Nayeon understood the weight of it all. "Anyway, the conversation was pointless. She kept
repeating that she wouldn't put her family at risk because of me."

"But what about me? Am I not a part of your family!?" Sana remembered her younger self almost
begging with tears in her eyes.

"I thought you were, but it turns out they've screwed you up a lot more than they did to me."
Hearing her own sister saying such things about her and their parents was just another one for the
list of things Sana wished she could forget.

"She also said that as long as I lived under her roof I'd have to go by her rules. That's when Momo's
dad stepped up and said that if that was the case, I wouldn't live under her roof anymore. And that
was it, she didn't even put up a fight and I left to be with them." Sana wrapped it up with a finality
tone and she finally turned to find Nayeon fighting some unshed tears of her own.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Nayeon wanted to reach out. Maybe hug her or at least hold
her hand, but she didn't know if she should. If she could. Somehow it still felt like there was a wall
between them.

"It's all good now. Well, it's not but... it is. You know how it is."

"Yeah, I do." She nodded and Sana looked away once again.

"At first it was weird. Everyone we'd met thought we were really sisters. Me and Momo."

"Why was it weird? I also thought so when I first met you."

"Because they did love me." Sana drawled like those words felt like a foreign concept coming out
of her lips. "They do, I mean. But they already did even before they took me in. Ever since I was
just a friend of Momo's who'd have weekly dinners at their place and slept over more often than
not, they already made me feel much better than I did anywhere else." Sana took a few more sips
like she suddenly remembered the bottle in her hand. "They're the best people I know. Hell, they
even moved out of town so I wouldn't have to live in the same neighborhood as my- as them
anymore. And so I went from a place where the biggest display of affection I ever got was a pat on
the back and a handshake at the end of each worship, to a place where they hugged me good
morning and night. Like...?" Sana shook her head and made a face, a confused but yet a happy one.
The wistful smile also made its way back to her lips as well, the good one that time and Nayeon
knew exactly how she was feeling.

"So it was a good kind of weird."

"The best." But as soon as it came, it was already gone. "But it also made me think more about my
parents for the first time. I never thought much about them when I was in foster care, or even when
I was with my sister because we never talked about them at all. But once I was with them it- I don't
know, it hit me differently, I guess. I kept thinking about how they never had enough love for me.
For my sister or even for themselves since all they wanted to do was get high and then wrecked.
While Momo's family had so much love for her. So much love for each other, for their freaking
five dogs and... and there was still love left for me? Somebody else's child? I wasn't their
responsibility and yet they never made me feel like an outsider. I was never treated any
differently."

Neither Sana nor Nayeon were holding back the tears anymore, but that's okay because they
couldn't look at each other long enough to notice.

"But it was still weird because I didn't feel like I deserved that either. Because if I really did, why
wouldn't my own parents give it to me? That's something I could never really get out of my head
because sure, Momo had a loving family and I was happy for her because she deserved it... but
what about me? Why didn't I have one?? Why did I only find one in hers? Did I ever do something
wrong? Or- I don't know, was I being punished for something? What's the fucking standard??"

Sana's voice grew louder and hopeless as she ranted and once she was done she finally looked at
Nayeon again. She sought her out with searching, desperate eyes, as if she just needed someone to
understand.

"Do you get it??" Nayeon saw it written all over her face.

"I get it, Sana." She answered even though that question wasn't uttered out loud. "I know exactly
what you're talking about." Nayeon honestly added as she thought about Jeongyeon's family. About
how they always made her feel at home and how she missed them so damn much.

"I know you do." Sana tilted her head and kept staring at her as Nayeon wiped away some tears.
"That's exactly the problem."

"What do you mean?" Nayeon got an odd feeling in her guts as something else tugged at her
heartstrings.

"Because you get it, but you weren't here when I needed you to." Sana almost choked on her own
words, but they were finally out in the open.

"What are you talking about?" Nayeon had no idea what was going on, but she sent all caution to
hell. Took her chances and slipped closer to take Sana's hands between her own. The bottles were
now lying on the ground, long forgotten but neither of them seemed to notice.

"She tried to reach out to me last year. I don't know how she did it because Momo's parents would
never give her my number, but she found me somehow and reached out. She called and said
wanted to see me and talk. She even said that she was willing to come to Korea if she had to. I also
have no idea how she knew I was out of the country, but she didn't elaborate on any of that, she just
said she needed me." Sana confessed and her grip on Nayeon's hands got stronger.

"Did you meet with her??" Nayeon roughly asked but there was no hint of judgment in her voice.

"No. I said I wasn't interested and told her not to call me again. And she never called again, but she
started texting me. At first it was just reiterating the request, asking when I was going back to
Japan or things like that. Then it escalated to more banal things. She'd tell me about her day, talk
about the books she had been reading or places she visited... things like that, as if we're friends.
Like she never fucking kicked me out of her house."
"You should tell her to fuck off." Nayeon all but spat. "And block her altogether." She knew Sana
hadn't asked for her opinion, but she still wanted to make it clear how she felt about it. "I don't
know what her intentions are and honestly I don't care, but after everything she put you through,
you should shut her down and that's it."

"She doesn't really insist that we meet anymore, but she still texts every once in a while."

"That's pretty fucked up of her." Nayeon pointed out and Sana shrugged.

"Yeah, but I never answered any of them and I never will. Never, not even to tell her to stop. I don't
wanna talk to her ever again." She shook her head even harder. "I don't care if she's changed or not,
I don't care about any of that right now."

"You're right, you shouldn't." Nayeon backed her up but she wasn't sure if Sana had heard her since
she just kept going.

"So what if she took me out of that orphanage if she wanted to throw me out on the streets because
I wasn't exactly the way she wanted?" Sana sounded on edge, as if she was mustering up all the
energy she could into those sentences. As if she needed to prove a point, more to herself than to
anyone else. "So what if- if she changed after all those years if when I needed her she wasn't
fucking there? I don't care! I don't owe her anything!"

"You damn right you don't!" Nayeon agreed just as eagerly. "She doesn't deserve to be a part of
your life now if she chose not to when she had the chance!"

"I know, that's why I never once felt guilty about it." Sana was a bit calmer now, but the tears were
still trickling down her cheeks. "But I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. Fuck, that doesn't even
make sense."

"It does." Nayeon said and she meant it. "I get it, Sana, I really do. And I know that telling you that
you don't have to feel guilty won't make it go away, but I still need to tell you that if that's how you
really feel about her you have to stand by your decision. Don't let that stupid feeling make you do
anything you don't want to do."

Do as I say and not as I do, Nayeon could feel the hypocrisy of her own words, but she just
brushed it off and focused on Sana.

A chillier wind blew through the park and only then did they realize how much time had passed.
Most of the bars were already closing and there weren't nearly as many people around as before.
Then they also noticed that their hands were still clasped together, so they let go to lean their backs
against the bench and face forward again. Both of them felt a little awkward.

"They helped me a lot." Sana went on after a while, but the topic changed a bit. "I turned to Jihyo
first. She saw me struggling and one night I just slipped it all out. She gave me a lot of strength, but
our little club wasn't quite the same without you." Her tone was smoother now, and careful too.
"Jihyo talked me into telling Momo and eventually I told Jeongyeon, but only because she started
to notice something was off. I didn't wanna tell her because she was going through her own shit,
but you know how she is. If she sees someone she loves struggling-"

"She's unstoppable. I know." Nayeon completed. She swallowed, feeling uncomfortable knowing
the reasons for her ex-girlfriend's past troubles.

"Honestly, I doubt anything would go any differently if you were here." Nayeon eyed her expecting
some insults, but was taken aback by her next words. "I think I would've done the same thing-
actually, I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. Somehow I also knew that's exactly what you'd say."
A ghost of a smile flashed through Sana's lips. "But it'd still be nice to hear it from you back then, I
guess. Or just... maybe have you on my corner because I knew you'd understand."

Another cold breeze followed by goosebumps traveled through Nayeon's body. She really wanted
to say something, but not for the first time that night she found herself at a loss for words.

"I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately, but I need you to know that I really didn't try to set you
up that night. It was just an accident, I swear. A careless mistake on my part and I take full
responsibility for it." Sana vouched and even if deep down Nayeon already knew it, it was still nice
to hear her saying it. "And since I'm taking responsibility, I've been blaming you for something
that's not your fault too. Is just that when it all started I caught myself wishing you were here. I
mean, not- not here, but maybe around? I know you wouldn't have magically solved my problems,
I just... I wanted to talk to you, Nayeon. But you weren't here and... you just- you just weren't."

"Sana-" Nayeon felt so bad she was tempted to tell the truth. To explain why she had to go, to show
Sana that she wasn't absent by choice. But who was she kidding? After all, Sana was the one she
chose to shut down.

"I'm grateful for all of them, I don't want to sound unappreciative. Jeongyeon and Jihyo... heck, and
Dahyun too, even though she didn't know the whole story. And Momo... Momo is my rock. She's
my best friend and she always will be. I'm grateful not only for what she's done, but also for
everything she is to me."

"Sana, listen-"

"In fact, people always say that we are like sisters, but I never really liked that idea. I never- I- I
didn't, fuck, I hated that thought. Because Momo never left me and she'd never, never leave, but
my sister- she actually left me when I needed her the most. And even though I know it's different,
in the end you left me too."

Oh, there it was. Nayeon finally got it. The missing piece of the puzzle to explained all about
Sana's anger.

Up until that day Nayeon had never regretted her decision. Not that it was just a one sided thing
since Sana never reached out to her either, but still. She thought she had done the right thing by not
reaching out to her, except that she now felt like the crappiest friend for having walked out on one
of the most important people in her life when she needed her the most.

There was a haunted look in Sana's eyes and it almost hurt Nayeon physically. And Nayeon
fucking hated it. Hated how awful it made her feel, hated how bad Sana must have felt back then
and also how bad she must be feeling right now. But more than anything she hated not being able
to tell the truth because she just couldn't. At least not yet because Jeongyeon deserved to be the
first to know.

"You kept in touch with Jihyo. And Momo too, I've always known. I'd see them talking about you,
but only when Jeongyeon wasn't around, of course." Sana tried to stop her tears but she wasn't
doing a very good job. "And I get it that you didn't try to reach out to Jeongyeon right after you left
because she was hurting, Nayeon, so she needed the distance to heal. That's the only thing you
actually got right because I'd have flown overseas to kick your ass myself if you tried to pull that
friend's bullshit on her back then. But fuck, what about me? You never even tried! You didn't even
say goodbye and there I was, thinking that we were friends."

"We were!" Nayeon raised her voice. "We- we are!"

"I find that hard to believe." She scoffed and Nayeon looked at her with pleading eyes while Sana
kept staring straight ahead.

"You know that thing you just said about kicking my ass?" Nayeon didn't know how to explain it,
but she still tried. "That's exactly why I never tried."

"But I-" Sana scowled, hurt and confusion flashing across her features. "I wouldn't actually-"

"No, that's not it!!" Nayeon grimaced when Sana didn't get what she was trying to say, so she
changed her approach and flatly said as if that sentence alone would clear everything up.
"Jeongyeon needed someone."

"She had all of us." Sana frowned even deeper, she still wasn't following.

"Momo and Jihyo reached out to me. They texted, they called, they tried. I wasn't planning on
keeping in touch with any of you, to be honest. I didn't think I deserved it after all the shit I pulled,
but they still tried and I wasn't strong enough to cut them off. So when you didn't try I just assumed
you didn't want to. And rightfully so since back then I was kind of neglecting you as well."

"I didn't try because I'm not that kind of person, Nayeon. I don't know- I can't... put myself out
there and express my feelings like you guys usually do."

"I know." Nayeon sighed and looked away one more time. "I guess deep down I knew it since
then. So I thought it was best to keep it that way because I figured you might be the person she
needed. Jeongyeon, I mean. I thought she needed someone who had no contact with me
whatsoever. Someone who could hate me with her. And I can see how this may sound stupid now,
but I didn't deliberately choose to abandon you Sana, I just-"

"You think I hate you?" Sana cut her off.

"Don't you?" Nayeon snickered. The answer seemed pretty obvious to her.

"I wish I did." She didn't even flinch. "It'd probably be easier than keep thinking and beating
myself over that fact that I cared more about you than you ever did about me."

"You really think I don't care??"

"It doesn't really matter now." Sana shrugged and Nayeon mulled it over before speaking again.

"That day at the party, after we broke into the volleyball dorm, I said that I didn't care what you did
or said because I hadn't come back for you. I was angry and hurt and wanted to convince myself
that I didn't need your validation or- or your friendship. But I lied because I didn't come back just
for her, Sana. I came back because I wanted my life back and you were a big part of that life too."
She went on with a sense of purpose she didn't know she had in herself right now. "Damn it, I
know our friendship was never really conventional, but you... you and Jihyo, you're the closest
thing I have to a sister."

Sana released a hearty and involuntary chuckle upon hearing that, but before Nayeon could take it
the wrong way, she made sure to clarify.

"Is it silly that I hate that word?" Sana asked.

"It's fitting, actually." Nayeon quipped after pondering for a couple of seconds. "Considering that
the only sisters you have are me and Jihyo and you hate both of us equally, it's only natural that
you hate the word as well."
It took a while for Sana to grasp it. A moment too long for Nayeon's words to make sense and
maybe a full minute for her to understand how much it meant to her. Nayeon not only ignored the
fact that her neglectful sister existed, but she was also willing to take her place and step up as the
older sister Sana truly deserved.

"You know what, Sana? Fuck her." Nayeon added. "I know I haven't been on the top of my game
lately, but if you trust me again I promise I'll be a better big sister than she ever was to you."

Nayeon promised and Sana believed her.

Nayeon and Sana fell into a routine after that. They would jog together in the mornings when there
was no practice and Nayeon told herself that it was just because it was time for her to start
following the medical orders. She was also spending way more time than she needed at the coffee
shop Sana worked part time, but the place was a good studying spot, or at least that's what Sana
said when she asked her to come by more often.

After a while, it wasn't unusual for any of their friends to find them hanging around campus or
walking down the hallways together. Anything just so they could spend some time together, not
that they would ever admit it to anyone.

Their relationship changed dramatically, or rather it was back to the way it used to be before
Nayeon left. So no, it didn't mean that their arguments and banter were over. Quite the contrary, it
only gave them more opening to expand their range. That was the essence of their friendship and
they both were comfortable with it because at the end of the day they always knew when the other
one needed a good challenge or just some much welcomed support. But that's no one else's
business but their own.

Also, by venting to Nayeon, Sana also started to lean more on her, so eventually Nayeon did the
same even if it took her a little longer. Not that Sana was a placeholder by any means, but since
Nayeon couldn't exactly open up to Jihyo or even Momo at that moment, the talks she had with
Sana helped her a lot.

The downside of the new shift in their dynamic was that it made Nayeon feel like she could just go
around popping the most inconvenient questions. Or at least that's what Sana said when Nayeon
broke her silence one day.

"So, you like Mina or what?" She asked and Sana almost choked on her coffee. They were
watching a movie in Nayeon's place after Sana got off work earlier one day.

"What are you talking about?" She shot back with widened eyes.

"What? You actually gonna pretend that you guys weren't hooking up in her car when Jeongyeon
and I almost got in trouble?" Nayeon took a sip of her tea.

"But- how..." She stammered and looked around as if they weren't the only people in that
apartment. "I don't know what you're talking about." She decided to settle that matter like that,
refusing to go any further.

"Oh, come on. I didn't realize it before because when it all happened I was upset and well, kind of
drunk too. But thinking about it now I feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner."

"Yes, you're an idiot and you don't know what you're talking about."
"No, like, I really don't need to know what guys were doing in that car but-"

"Nayeon- please, just shut up."

She obviously didn't. Nayeon kept trying to get Sana to break and talk about her feelings for the
other girl for the rest of the movie, but to no avail.

But it didn't take long so the tables were turned. Soon enough Nayeon was the one finding Sana
annoying for snooping around in her personal life.

"You know that's pathetic, don't you?" Sana sneaked up behind Nayeon, startling her a little.

"What are you still doing here?" Nayeon rolled her eyes and focused her attention back on the field.
She was running the extra practice from the sidelines while her players were practicing last passes
and finishing around the box.

"Watching you drool all over my friend, apparently." Nayeon cast her a deadly glare and Sana
shrugged sporting an annoying smirk on her face. "I'm just waiting for Jeongyeon. We made plans
to study at her place but mainly I'm just going for the food."

Nayeon just hummed in response. But here's the thing, Sana was never the type of person who
minced her words, so when she wanted to know something she would always just put it out there.

"If you like her so much then why did you break up?" Sana unpromptedly said after looking
between Nayeon and Jeongyeon a few times. Nayeon took a deep breath but didn't answer, she just
kept paying attention to the practice. Somehow Sana took it as a sign for her to continue. "You see,
I think I can even understand you breaking up because of the distance, but she still deserved better,
Nayeon. What I don't get is why didn't you just talk to her personally. Breaking up over a letter
was a pretty dick move."

"It's complicated." Nayeon tried to deflect even though that conversation was looming for a while
now. Sana had already expressed her opinion about it before, she always made a point of calling
Nayeon out every time she was being, in her words, an asshole.

"I'm a smart girl, try me." Sana prompted but Nayeon just shook her head as she shouted an order
to Yuna. The younger goalkeeper had just changed places with Jeongyeon on the goal and Nayeon
apparently wasn't pleased with how she was off her line.

"Not now, Sana. I'm busy." Nayeon took a few steps forward to follow the next play and Sana
followed her around the same way Nayeon would always follow Bae on the sidelines.

"Okay, but Nayeon, seriously. Do. Something." Sana whispered and Nayeon ignored her in order
to make some notes on her clipboard. "I can help you out if you want-"

"Sana, shut up." Nayeon hissed without sparing her a glance.

Chaeyoung had the ball now. She and Dahyun were starting a run from midfield while Yerim and
Jihyo were guarding the box. It wasn't often that the defenders were willing to stay for extra
practice, so Nayeon liked to take advantage of those moments to work on their play building skills.

"Just ask her out and see how it goes."

"Sana-"

"It doesn't have to be romantically, you idiot. I'm just saying that if you want to get closer to her,
you have to spend more time together. And that's definitely not going to happen if you just stay
literally on the sidelines sighing and pinning over her-"

"For fuck's sake, Chaeyoung! Dahyun was open! I know you're not a fucking ball hog so just pass
the goddamn ball!" An angry yell from Nayeon interrupted their talk after a shot from the striker
was blocked by Jihyo, deflecting and falling right into Jeongyeon's hands when she wasn't even on
the field.

"O-kay..." Sana slowly mouthed under her breath. She had a slight hunch that her anger was not
directed at Chaeyoung. But hey, Coach Bae would definitely be proud if she had been there to see
her pupil going off like that.

"I don't know if she wants to- well, I don't know what she wants." Nayeon spoke up again after
silently watching the practice for a minute. "We're making progress, I guess. We've been talking a
lot more but... I don't know. Sometimes I can't stop thinking that she's only doing this now because
she thinks she has to, you know? Because that's what everybody expects of her, that she should
make an effort to try to get along with me for the sake of the team or our friends even though that's
not what she really wants." She quietly admitted without looking at the girl next to her. She kept
her gaze fixed ahead but frankly, she couldn't be more grateful to finally be able to talk about those
things with someone.

"Trust me, Nayeon. This is Jeongyeon we're talking about. We both know that's not something
she'd do. She doesn't give a shit about what people expect from her."

Sana found herself in a tricky situation since she knew how much the two of them really cared
about each other. She had privileged information from both sides, but she also knew it wasn't her
place to put it out there - damn Jihyo for getting in her head.

She knew, for instance, that Jeongyeon did recall the conversation the former couple had on the
rooftop that fateful night. She knew Jeongyeon was lying about it, and she also knew that the
goalkeeper still had feelings for Nayeon as well. Really messed up feelings which confused the
hell out of her? Yes, sure, but still feelings.

And there was something else she knew. Something about Nayeon that she hadn't shared with
anyone else, not even Nayeon herself. Anyway, she couldn't be a bad friend and end up disclosing
any of those things by accident, not to Nayeon and not to Jeongyeon either.

"Just try a little harder. Ask her out, get some ice cream, coffee or whatever." At the sight of
Nayeon frowning at her and making mention to interrupt, she pressed on. "Not as a date, I said it
already! We hang out all the time and we're not dating. All I'm saying is that you should try to
spend more time with her. That's all."

Nayeon stared at Sana for long seconds and she just stared back as if it was a fucking competition.
Then she rolled her eyes and released a weary sigh. "I'll think about it."

"For fuck's sake." Sana all but whined. "At this rate Jeongyeon will be making a move before you
do, my poor friend." Nayeon glared at her so she cleared her throat. "I mean, she'll be the one
asking you to hang out. Like the most friendly hang out ever."

"Yeah, sure." Nayeon scoffed and turned back to supervise the practice. She crossed her arms as
she mentally cursed Sana for both distracting her and giving her hope.

A part of Nayeon knew that Sana was right and that those intrusive thoughts were stupid.
Especially after everything they had been through, Jeongyeon wouldn't put up with her if she didn't
want to. But that matter always came down to Nayeon's fear that she was imposing something on
her ex-girlfriend. The truth was that she never wanted Sana to be right so much. She wanted
Jeongyeon to end her doubts once and for all.

"Wanna bet?" Nayeon heard Sana's challenging answer coming over her shoulder. She turned
around to find her most annoying friend with that goddamn smirk on her face.

Okay, so maybe Nayeon shouldn't have accepted, but Sana could be really infuriating when she put
her mind to it - which unfortunately was all the fucking time. So that would be a wonderful way for
her to kill two birds with one stone.

She was planning on doing something simple, just to ask and see if Jeongyeon wanted to study
together since she knew her ex-girlfriend always liked to have company to do things that other
people usually preferred to do alone. Maybe they could get a coffee afterwards and that would
count as a decent... uh, hang out, wouldn't it? All she had to do was ask Jeongyeon, wipe that stupid
grin off Sana's face, and take the victory lap by escorting her good friend Sana to the hairdresser
afterwards. That's a pretty good spur.

But apparently life had a way of working to boost Sana's already huge ego to the fucking moon.
Her plan fell through because Jeongyeon actually volunteered to help her with her internship tasks,
but what were the fucking chances???

Nayeon would certainly be mad if it was any other situation, but she couldn't find it in herself to be
the least bit bothered right now. That, in fact, was probably the first and definitely the last time she
thanked the universe for Minatozaki Sana being right.

[03:24 pm] Me Nayeon: Guess what

[03:24 pm] Me Nayeon: Jeongyeon's coming over to my place in a few

[03:29 pm] Minatozaki: what

[03:29 pm] Minatozaki: WHAT

[03:30 pm] Minatozaki: so you finally grew some balls??

[03:30 pm] Minatozaki: and all it took was a lil push from lil old me???

[03:30 pm] Minatozaki: damn i really am amazing

[03:30 pm] Minatozaki: AH wait

[03:30 pm] Minatozaki: and you're taking her to netflix and chill already?

[03:31 pm] Minatozaki: woah, respect

[03:31 pm] Minatozaki: im ngl i didn't think you had it in you

[03:32 pm] Me Nayeon: That's not it, you jerk

[03:32 pm] Me Nayeon: Get your head out of the gutter

[03:32 pm] Me Nayeon: We'll just watch a few games

[03:32 pm] Me Nayeon: And I didn't do anything, so...

[03:33 pm] Me Nayeon: [sent a picture]

[03:33 pm] Me Nayeon: She kind of invited herself, I just asked her to come over

[03:33 pm] Minatozaki: NO HOLD ON LET'S BREAK IT DOWN FOR A SECOND

[03:34 pm] Minatozaki: first of all, holy shit im nayeon how can you be so fucking slooowww

[03:34 pm] Minatozaki: i was just messing with you, i really thought you'd stop being such a scared
cat and actually ask her out for a coffee at very least

[03:35 pm] Me Nayeon: I WAS GOING TO OKAY IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF SHE BEAT ME
TO IT

[03:35 am] Minatozaki: hush

[03:36 am] Minatozaki: secondly, when i said dye your hair i was talking about REALLY DYING
YOUR HAIR

[03:36 pm] Minatozaki: i meant like in ash blonde or maybe a bright red you know, something
shocking, life changing

[03:36 pm] Minatozaki: those pink streaks won't do it

[03:37 pm] Me Nayeon: Well, it's not my fault if you didn't elaborate, I kept my end of the deal.

[03:38 pm] Me Nayeon: Choose your words better next time

[03:38 pm] Minatozaki: oh you bet, genie

[03:38 pm] Minatozaki: worst part is that i was expecting to lose this bet lol

[03:39 pm] Minatozaki: seriously dude you're so dumb, all you had to do was pop a fucking
question

[03:39 pm] Minatozaki: i thought the bet would actually push you into doing it and you'd think you
were winning when in reality i'd be getting exactly what i wanted

[03:40 pm] Minatozaki: i've been meaning to dye my hair but haven't built up the courage just yet :
(

[03:40 pm] Minatozaki: so yeah, you really are useless

[03:41 pm] Me Nayeon: Wait, how is it my fault???

[03:42 pm] Minatozaki: anyway, enjoy your date

[03:42 pm] Minatozaki: use protection, i don't want to be an auntie anytime soon

[03:42 pm] Me Nayeon: We've been over it already, this is NOT a date

[03:43 pm] Me Nayeon: And with a body count like yours one really would've expected that you'd
know how babies are made

[03:43 pm] Me Nayeon: Not that we're getting into any funny business today, just to clarify, the
whole point here is me insulting you

[03:44 pm] Me Nayeon: Oh and you know what? I don't owe you an explanation, bye!

[03:44 pm] Minatozaki: girl

[03:44 pm] Minatozaki: [is recording audio]

Me Nayeon blocked Minatozaki.

Her da- uh, meeting with Jeongyeon went well. Oh heck, who was she kidding? It actually was
much better than she could've ever imagined.

Not that she was ever going to thank Sana for that silly bet, but when she saw Jeongyeon blushing
and simping over her looks, getting all flustered as she tried to compliment her, she thought she
might even kiss her in gratitude. Sana, not Jeongyeon, of course. Alright, maybe both of them.

So the evening was going smoothly until Nayeon's cell phone rang and bursted the perfect little
bubble they had built. Her mom had let her know she'd be calling that night, but the buzz about
Jeongyeon's visit had made her forget all about it.

Nayeon couldn't just not answer, she had a role to play - she had already established that. Besides,
one missed call and she would never hear the end of it. It had already happened before and she
definitely didn't want to go through that again. So all she could do was excuse herself to take the
call in her bedroom. It'd be quick, she promised before she left. And it wasn't any different from
any other call between them, just a few minutes of mother asking about her health, how she was
feeling, about the new habits she was supposed to be following and her overall progress before
moving on to the routine of criticizing Nayeon's life choices. You know, the usual. And also as
usual she ended the call feeling a little less like herself.

On top of everything else, since Jeongyeon had no memory of everything they talked about that
night on the rooftop, that particular call was also a moment of truth, which revealed to her ex-
girlfriend that Nayeon hadn't kept her word of staying away from her mother like she promised she
would.

Jeongyeon wouldn't understand her motives and Nayeon knew perfectly well how Jeongyeon felt
about her mother, but she was way too tired to deal with the potential criticism at that moment and
she really didn't want to ruin a nearly perfect day she was having. That's why she walked back to
the living room sporting her best fake smile to do the last thing she thought she would be doing that
night: she tried to send Jeongyeon off.

It would be easier that way, she told herself and tried to play it cool. There would be less
explaining to do, and she really, really didn't want to end her night by fighting because of her
mother.

However, when Jeongyeon apparently ignored that unfortunate part and actually went out of her
way to show that she wanted to spend more time with Nayeon, she obviously didn't say no to her.
She couldn't and she wouldn't, not when that's exactly what she wanted the most.

What she wasn't expecting was that Jeongyeon would ask her about the call later that night. She
also wasn't expecting Jeongyeon to blurt out her feelings like that, especially when she spilled
things that she never said even when they were still a couple. Nayeon also wasn't expecting herself
to lose control like that, to send all caution to hell and seal their lips in a quick but searing kiss after
so long. But what she really wasn't expecting was the way Jeongyeon reacted and kissed her back
just as eager, like she really meant it and like she had been craving it just as much as she was.

Nayeon really wished she could've given in right then and there. She wished she could go all the
way without worrying about the aftermath because she had missed it all too damn much.

She missed Jeongyeon, missed how good she could make her feel, missed everything else she had
been longing for the past fucking year; missed the way her ex-girlfriend's lips fitted so well into
hers and her ever so attentive touches that were nerve wrecking at the very least; also missed the
heavenly sounds she'd make when Nayeon would nibble all the right places.

So she couldn't help but wonder if she still had the same effect on Jeongyeon. If she could still
make her collapse on her fingertips, if she would still shiver at the sound of her voice, and Gosh, if
she would still taste the same but- no, damn it, she couldn't go there.

No, she couldn't because she couldn't bear the thought of Jeongyeon regretting it later. Regretting
her, regretting them and maybe even hating her at the end. She couldn't afford to rush it, she
promised she would make things right.

But the way they kissed for the rest of the night surely meant something. It meant that Nayeon's
dreams and hopes weren't as hopeless as she thought. Meant that maybe they actually stood a
chance after all.

Fuck yeah, that little flame of hope was burning brighter than ever now.

Nayeon didn't know exactly how they would move forward from then. The only thing she knew
was that Jeongyeon was too principled to just pretend like it hadn't happened. But well, if she's
being honest, she didn't want to pretend it didn't happen either.

Now that she had a taste of Jeongyeon again she didn't want to go back, she just wanted more and
more. But the way she saw it they were bound to take a series of steps back as soon as they talked
about it because of course Jeongyeon would want to know the whole truth before anything else and
Nayeon couldn't give it to her at that moment. She couldn't risk losing her, especially after that
night.

The main obstacle kept circling back to the same issue: the fear that Jeongyeon would end up
hating her for hiding all this, or worse, that she would feel compelled to stick with Nayeon out of
guilt. No, that's definitely not what she wanted. She wanted Jeongyeon to love her the way Nayeon
loved her. The same way she did all those years ago. If she could only go back in time or get things
back to the way they used to be...

Oh. Oh.

Maybe she could.

With that in mind, Nayeon came up with the best idea ever, in her not so humble opinion. She
would get them to go back to the old days even though they were still in the present! Or future? Uh,
she wasn't sure, but she had a new plan. It would be the final step to test her theory and see whether
Jeongyeon really felt the same way as her.

Ultimately, if the answer was negative it was fine too. Of course she would be crushed and it was
gonna be hard, but at least she would be done with it once and for all and she would let Jeongyeon
move on for good. But if it was positive, then she would finally be one step closer to winning the
love of her life back.
All in all, it really was the best, if not the only option. She went for it.

Growing up, Nayeon always wanted to have a sibling. Most of her schoolmates had brothers or
sisters, often even both. Being an only child had never been something she appreciated until many
years later, when she came to understand more about life. Or well, about her life, at least.

What once felt like a curse had been turned into a blessing. Nayeon didn't want to have a sister or
brother only for them to go through all the hardships she was going through with her parents.

Sometimes there was a part of her that every now and then would suggest that if she had someone
else to share her burdens with maybe the pressure on her shoulders would be lessened. But then
there was always the other part, the bigger part, the wiser one, that was glad that she didn't. That
would say it was better for her to endure all that alone rather than to have to watch someone she
loved going through the same troubles. The right one, at last.

But as she got even older, Nayeon came to realize that the bonds between your chosen family could
be much stronger than any blood tie. The proof of that was that even though she was tempted to
push Sana off the tenth floor of her appartament building, Nayeon settled for just scolding her for
yet another stupid bet she pulled - never mind she was the one who started it, Nayeon was still
mad for what Sana tried to do.

"A kiss, Sana? Seriously?? What's wrong with you!?" Nayeon all but yelled as she stormed into the
coffee shop Sana worked at.

"Keep your voice down, I'm working." Sana whispered-screamed under her breath, flashing a
friendly smile at the only other customer inside the establishment, who was now looking a bit
concerned since Hurricane Nayeon reached the counter.

"Then take a fucking break. We need to talk." Nayeon crossed her arms and glared.

"I can't, I'm alone right now."

"Okay, then let's do it right here. What the fuck was that about last night?" Sporting the same
customer service smile, Sana pulled Nayeon by the arm and led her to a corner.

"What the hell are you complaining about?" Sana dropped the smile as soon as they were out of
sight, keeping her voice down. "You won, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but if I didn't I would've found myself in a pretty shitty situation, wouldn't I? You know
damn well I would never kiss someone else right in front of Jeongyeon!" Nayeon snapped and
punched Sana's arm at least three times as she ranted.

"Exactly! I just gave you the perfect opportunity for you to make a move." Sana replied with a false
sense of innocence as she rubbed her sore arm.

"Make a-" Nayeon stopped, closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath. "How about you
make an opportunity for yourself to stop meddling in my life and mind your own business??"

"Oh, that's rich, isn't it?" Sana put her hands on her waist and stared down at her. "Are you really
going to act like you're not the one who started it?"

"Yes, I did start it, but only because you're a liar. I'm surprised your pants haven't caught fire yet."
"Nayeon-"

"You know what, I don't get it why you just won't admit that you got it bad for a girl!"

"Well, I don't think you're in a position to talk about what anyone should or not admit, are you? Or
are you going to confess that you're making out with your ex-girlfriend behind our backs?"

Oh shit, it backfired, didn't it?

Although she had been talking more with Sana lately, the new dynamic of her relationship with
Jeongyeon was something she was set on keeping a secret since she had promised her ex-girlfriend
she wouldn't tell anyone. She had her doubts whether Sana already knew, but now she was sure so
she needed to make sure that it would stay only between them.

"Okay, you've won." Nayeon dropped the attitude and conceded. "You keep my secret and I keep
yours?" Nayeon moted in a challenging tone.

"Uhh..." A third voice called out and both of them looked back, finding a very shy looking young
man wearing large round glasses and holding a couple of heavy books in his arms just a few feet
away, by the counter. Only then did they also notice that the only other customer who was sitting
by the front was already gone. "Can- can I please get a coffee?"

Bad timing, dude.

"I have nothing to hide, but I'll keep your secret for you." Sana glared at Nayeon one last time and
then she plastered a smile on her face before walking back to the counter and apologizing for the
wait before getting the customer's order.

So no, Nayeon had never gotten the full big sister experience before Sana, after all, Jihyo kind of
acted a lot more like an older sister to her than the other way around. But that was one of those
moments where she started to think about all the shit she had ever done and regretting most of it,
because if she had been putting Jihyo through at least a third of the troubles Sana had been pulling
on her, Nayeon surely owed the captain an apology.

Honestly, if she had known that big sister's duties were so stressful she would have thought a little
harder before signing up for this.

(But the truth was that no, she wouldn't. She wouldn't think twice before blindly going for it again.)

(Especially because of moments like this.)

Nayeon rolled her eyes and turned away, she wasn't even close to being drunk enough to put up
with that shit.

Rationally she knew she shouldn't feel jealous. She didn't have that right anymore, but it's not like
she had any control over it. She also knew all about Yves, Sana had bitched about her countless
times. The obnoxious girl - Sana's words, not hers, but this time Nayeon could relate - who was
constantly hitting on Jeongyeon.

Nayeon had witnessed scenes like that before, so she had already seen Jeongyeon politely declining
her advances more than once. It was no different this time around, but seeing Yves all over her ex-
girlfriend still managed to drive Nayeon's once good mood into a ditch. It was a party, after all, she
shouldn't be feeling that way. That's why she headed upstairs to the second floor of Beach House to
seek refuge in Jihyo's room. She needed to take a break until that unwarranted anger subsided and
she was sure her best friend wouldn't mind.

If it had been a couple of years ago - in happier times, she recalled - Nayeon would have simply
walked up to Jeongyeon and kissed her right then and there to let everyone know who she was
with. But they weren't together anymore, not like that at least. So she had to suck up her jealousy
and-

"What the fuck??"

It all happened too fast. Nayeon brought her hands to her eyes and turned around at the same time.
All she could fathom was the glimpse of two people, a lot of exposed skin, and a scream that could
be either hers or one of the other people inside that room.

"Fuck- I'm sorry! I- I'll be right out, I'm leaving!"

Keeping her eyes closed, Nayeon blindly reached for the doorknob, forcefully pulling it and then
slamming the door shut once she finally made it out of the captain's bedroom.

"Jesus fucking Christ." She whispered to herself as she paced back and forth, alone in the hallway
when she finally breathed again.

At first she thought Jihyo would fucking murder her. Goddammit, Nayeon couldn't even remember
the last time Jihyo mentioned she was into someone and when she was finally about to get laid
Nayeon just walked in on her like that. She couldn't believe she just clam jammed her best friend!
She should have fucking knocked!!

Nayeon went all the way down the hall, but in the opposite way from the stairs. There was a
balcony over there and she was so embarrassed that she might or might not be considering jumping
right now, but she just stood still at the end of the hall and waited, utterly flushed, tapping her feet
and unsure of what to do next.

Should she go back downstairs or should she stay and wait for Jihyo to... finish? She should
probably apologize, but could she even kept going after being so rudely interrupted by-

Oh. The door creaked open. Yep, that's it, that's how Nayeon dies.

But then a head popped up in the doorway and that was definitely not Jihyo. She was looking
sideways to check if anyone was there and... no!

No, no, no.

Fucking Sana??? Shit, bad wording, but this couldn't be happening!!

Jihyo and... Sana? Holy shit, Nayeon might as well be having an aneurysm.

She shifted slowly sporting a mixed expression of both horror and disgust on her face, and that was
the exact moment that Sana's eyes met hers.

"You! Shit, of course it'd be you!!" Sana whispered-yelled and left the room after making sure
Nayeon was alone. She closed the door behind her and walked towards her while still fixing her
clothes. "Don't you know the concept of fucking knocking?"

"I don't- I thought that- that... I didn't know that you guys..." Nayeon stuttered, took a few steps
back as Sana drew closer. She tried to explain but she was honestly feeling a little dizzy. What kind
of fucking nightmare was that?

"You won't tell anyone about what you just saw!" Sana pointed a finger at her Nayeon who was
now cornered at the end of the hall. Nayeon even hit her back against the wall, having nowhere
else to go.

"Of course I won't!" Nayeon managed to claw back some of her composure and used it to slap
Sana's hand away from her face. "Why the hell would I tell anyone that you're fucking my
childhood best friend! Jesus, my eyes!! My brain hurts!! How do I get this image out of my head!?"

"What? Your..." Sana's frown writhed in confusion, but then her countenance shifted altogether.
"Oh. Right. Yeah, that's it. I am- I'm-" Sana cleared her throat and tried to get the nauseous look
out of her face. "Fucking... your- yeah, Jihyo. Our captain. Yep, that's right."

"Wait..." Nayeon suddenly realized that something was off. The gears began to turn in her head as
she diligently analyzed Sana's stance. In a matter of seconds she had already figured it all out and
put together her own theory. "I... look I won't tell anyone, I promise. You've been keeping a secret
for me so now I'll keep yours."

"Okay..." Sana replied tentatively and carefully, she was on to something as well.

"But I need to talk to Jihyo now. Take care of the... uh, the thing, I came to talk to her about before
I catch you… you know, doing the deed." Nayeon stepped forward but Sana sidestepped to stand
in front of her.

"You can't! I mean, not now. She's... um, embarrassed. Naked! That's it, she's naked. You'd better
go downstairs and when I get back in there I'll tell her to go look for you." Nayeon had never seen
Sana so flustered. She squinted her eyes at her and tentatively took a step to the other side only to
be stopped again, with Sana stepping right in front of her one more time.

"I need to see her now."

"No, you don't, Nayeon. Just... wait. Just wait downstairs, like I asked, can you do that?"

Okay, so it's time for a different approach. Maybe Nayeon was being a bit of a jerk now since she
was doing it just for kicks, but she couldn't help it. She knew Jihyo wasn't the one inside that room,
in fact she was pretty sure she knew who it really was. And Nayeon didn't have to do that, she
might as well collect her confession, make fun of Sana for it and call it a day, but she chose to save
that token for another time. What she did instead was probably one of the dumbest things she ever
did. And no, she didn't regret it one bit.

"Alright then. I'll head back to the party." Jesus, not even Nayeon could believe her own words.
And if the look Sana cast at her was any indication, she hadn't believed her either.

"Don't do anything stupid, Nayeon." She partially cleared the path and walked along the side of
Jihyo's bedroom while Nayeon followed right beside her.

"Sana..." Nayeon sighed as they approached the door. "You know damn well stupid it's pretty
much my middle name." That's the last thing she said before she made a run for the door, but she
was literally tackled down by Sana before she could reach the doorknob. The two of them fell to
the floor as Nayeon burst into laughter.

"For fuck's sake, Nayeon, why can't you do what I ask just once?" Sana whined as she sat on top of
Nayeon and held her shoulders to try to keep her down.
"A few days ago you were Miss I Have Nothing to Hide and now you're using violence to keep me
from finding something out? Isn't that a bit on the hypocritical side?" Nayeon tried to tickle Sana to
free herself, so she had to get a hold of Nayeon's wrists to stop her.

"Oh, trust me, you haven't seen me using violence yet, but I'd love to start with you!" Nayeon
couldn't stop laughing and Sana's grumpiness only added to her amusement.

"What the fuck- ah, come on!" A new voice interrupted their wrestling. Yerim was standing at the
top of the stairs and holding a red cup in her hand, as usual. "Are you guys fighting or making out?
Because to be honest this could be either a fistfight or foreplay. I just wish you wouldn't do it in the
hallway." Both women grimaced in disgust and Sana immediately let go of Nayeon's hands, but
didn't get off her. "You know what, I don't care, I'm getting Jihyo. That's her problem, not mine."
The defender shook her head and made her way downstairs.

"Should I call Yerim and tell her that Jihyo is in her bedroom?" Nayeon glanced up at Sana with a
shit eating grin on her face.

"You know damn well she's not." Sana finally got off Nayeon. She sat down and leaned against the
wall uttering a long, defeated sigh while Nayeon settled herself on the opposite wall. The pair went
silent for a minute before Nayeon spoke up.

"You should probably go in and tell her to leave before Jihyo shows up. She'll be furious if she
finds out that you've been using her bedroom for... uh, leisure purposes."

"You're not telling her?" Sana looked up and eyed Nayeon suspiciously.

"Tell her what?" Nayeon shrugged as if nothing happened.

"Wait. You're being serious??" She felt like there was a catch.

"As a heart attack." Nayeon chuckled at her own words. "One day, Sana... even if it's fifty years
from now. Even if it's at your funeral, or even at Jihyo's deathbed. One day I'm going to tell her all
about it. I'll tell her that you were getting dirty with someone on her own bed and I'll watch her kick
your coffin or just get up from the hospital bed to punch you in the face." Nayeon wasn't even
looking at her, she just went off as she stood up and smoothed her clothes which were now pretty
crumpled from Sana's onslaught. "Or maybe I'll talk about it at your wedding, during my
bridesmaid toast, who knows? But for now your secret is safe with me. And by the way…" She
shifted her tone from teasing to something more serious. Sana held her breath in anticipation, but it
was stupid anyway because she couldn't hold it for too long when a silly grin made its way back to
her lips. "Tell Mina she has a great ass."

Nayeon winked at her and Sana made a face. Nayeon turned around and as fast as she came, she
was gone.

As time went by, Nayeon was growing increasingly more comfortable with her new found dynamic
with Jeongyeon. She probably should've told her everything already. It was long overdue, she
couldn't keep avoiding it for so long. Except that she could and that's exactly what she did. She
would take what she could get, that's what she kept telling herself.

The months of secret meetings and stolen moments she spent with Jeongyeon had proven what she
most desperately wanted. Now she was sure that her ex-girlfriend did have feelings for her, but
how could she possibly tell the truth without jeopardizing said feelings?
Nayeon wasn't stupid and she knew Jeongyeon, so she couldn't lie and say that it was the doubt that
held her back after a couple of months into their arrangement. Whether those feelings had always
been there or they were gone and came back along with her? That much she didn't know, but at
that moment she didn't care much about it either. The important thing was that they were there now
and that's all that mattered to her.

She also had more important things to worry about, such as how the hell would she get out of this
situation or why the fuck did she let this whole thing drag on for so long when she knew damn well
Jeongyeon deserved to know the truth. And that's exactly what she kept asking herself that night
when she answered her door to find none other than her mother on the other side.

She was peacefully watching and caressing the girl who was sleeping soundly on her lap when a
couple of loud and disturbing knocks burst their bubble. And unfortunately, that's when everything
started to collapse. Again.

Her first instinct as she opened the door was to glance back and make sure Jeongyeon was still fast
asleep on her couch. Good, Nayeon thought, at least she wouldn't have to see the whole thing,
whatever it was.

She knew she shouldn't have canceled on Haengja at the last minute. Her mother was known for a
lot of things, but being paciente or understandable definitely wasn't on the list. But Jeongyeon had
come to her unannounced, bearing tired eyes and fallen shoulders. Looking crestfallen as she
looked into her eyes and said she wanted to spend some time with her.

Damn it, how the hell was Nayeon supposed to ditch her like that to go be to go be with someone
she didn't even like??

So she didn't, but she would have if only she had known that Haengja would show up on her
doorstep like that.

Nayeon was no fool, she was well aware that her relationship with her mother was nowhere near
what one could classify as healthy. She had always known, actually, ever since she came back into
her life all those years ago. From the endless empty promises she was given to as a child, to the
current, relentless pressure she had to endure these days. Where the same person who was
supposed to take care of her and love her unreservedly, was constantly guilt tripping her and trying
to turn her into something she wasn't. Someone she didn't want to be.

She knew how toxic it was and she had tried to get out of that loop countless times, but the closest
she came to breaking free was when she went to Yonsei for the first time. Even with all the hard
feelings she was still bearing at the time, everything that fit between the unfathomable need to
please a person who didn't even accept her the way she was and all the guilt that consumed her
from inside out for shutting her down, she still tried to be strong enough to put herself first, at least
once.

That is, until things started to get harder and out of sheer hopelessness Nayeon was drawn into her
tale again. And on top of that, as if it wasn't already bad enough, a goddamn illness broke into her
life bringing along with it yet another burden. Amidst her distress she saw her mother as her only
hope, what she didn't know at the time was how much that fucking hope would actually cost her.

"You see, this is what happens when you don't value your family." That's one of the first things
Haengja told Nayeon when she went to meet her in Busan. "At the end of the day it's just me and
you dad by your side, none of your so-called friends."

Nayeon didn't waste her time trying to explain that this was her decision. It'd be useless, anyway.
She would never understand.

"That's a sign for you to drop this soccer bullshit. Take your second chance and do something
meaningful with your life." That was her take on Nayeon's last and successful surgery, when her
doctor was going over the information about the new habits she should follow from then on.

Dammit, what kind of loving mother would say something like that? She couldn't picture her
former mother-in-law saying anything similar to Jeongyeon. Even Mrs. Park, who she knew for a
fact was also bad news, had ever gone that far with Jihyo. So yeah, Nayeon knew she had to do
something about it. She had to get rid of it- rid of her, and she wanted it more than ever now.

But before she inevitably had to do that, as much as Nayeon didn't like to admit, she even tried to
make amends at first. She tried to be better, she tried fix their relationship because she simply
couldn't shake off that fucking approval thirst.

Maybe if she tried hard enough Haengja would understand that Nayeon wasn't some project, that
she was actually her daughter, a living and breathing person with her own wishes, needs and
wants. And maybe- just maybe she would finally make an effort to love Nayeon the way she was
instead of trying to make her into something she wanted.

So Nayeon tried to talk to her more than once. Tried to explain, to debate, proposing that they meet
in the middle, but it's all for nothing, to no avail. Like always, her words fell on deaf ears.

"There you are, being ungrateful again when all I do is seek what's best for you."

She should've known it wouldn't work by now. It never had, it never would.

All her mother ever did was scoff and tell Nayeon to stop acting like a spoiled child. Tell her to
value what she had and how lucky she was. She was used to it already, so why did it still hurt so
much? Was she really that fucked up? Was she unlovable? Or her own mother couldn't see her for
who she was?

Whatever, she was probably right. In a way Nayeon was indeed lucky, so why wasn't she satisfied
with that?

"I was by your side when no one else was and this is how you're treating me? Like I'm nothing? I
saved your life, Nayeon, and somehow that's still not enough for you!"

That, among other things she heard every time she tried to walk away. She was right one way or
another, Nayeon used to think about it in her worst moments, she couldn't be ungrateful. So she
stayed, she kept going, she put up with it. She endured all of it for the longest time even though she
hated it.

Every moment, every second, every phone call, every visit, every goddamn meal. She hated it all.
She hated it and she felt guilty about it, guilty for being ungrateful, for not valuing what she had.
For not living up to the expectations, for not being good enough to either party.

Eventually Nayeon started to acknowledge that maybe she would never be able free herself from
that loop, but she could at least try to do some damage control, couldn't she? It was a start, at least,
so that's what she talked herself into doing.

And when she couldn't do it for herself, she would do it for Momo, who was invariably by her
side; always providing her a comforting shoulder to cry on and unconditional support with no
question asked.
Or for Jihyo, who was also always there and never made her feel like she was any weaker even
with all her faults and the consistent mistakes she made.

Also for Jeongyeon, who hated to see her putting herself through all of it. Who always counseled
her, always took care of her and stood up for her even when Nayeon couldn't do it for herself.

For Sana, who deserved someone who backed her up not only with words, but also by setting an
example. Because Sana could've rightly called Nayeon out for being a hypocrite every time she
told her to stand her ground about her decisions about her sister, but she never once did that.
Instead, even though she was a big pain in her ass most of the time, she was still there to be
supportive and listen to her constant rants about Haengja.

But most importantly, Nayeon tried to do it for herself, because why the hell would she keep
putting up with that, fulfilling a role of appearances, acting like someone she wasn't and living her
life as the perfect daughter of parents who didn't deserve her? Why keep letting them try and
change her when she knew pretty well that no matter what happened, she still had reliable people
by her side? She had a loving real family who loved her exactly for who she was.

So with all of this in mind, shielding herself behind the reassurance that she did have a support
system, Nayeon started to stand up for herself and set boundaries a couple of months after she
moved back to Seoul. She stopped putting up with Haengja's invasive and pushy comments, and
also gradually started to decline most of her invitations to lunches and dinners. She ceased
answering all her calls, especially at times when she wasn't feeling well. She quit going out of her
way to make room for someone who did nothing but berate her.

Naturally, as expected, this led them to more fights, and even some screaming matches between
their desagrements. More often than not Nayeon would end up getting a call from her father
aftwards, asking her to be more reasonable by her mother's request, of course. Sometimes Nayeon
would cry herself to sleep, other times she would call Sana and rant to her friend who she now
came to think she relied on to an almost unhealthy degree.

However, at other more daring- or rather, careless moments, she'd do things that she would deemed
as inconsequential at the very least. Like that one day when she was feeling particularly bad and
she let her feet lead her to Jeongyeon's apartment with no prior warning. Only after knocking did
she realize what she was wearing: a varsity jacket that once belonged to her ex-girlfriend and which
now she liked to wear to feel closer to her whenever she was having a hard time.

She almost panicked at first until she realized that this might actually be the perfect excuse as to
why she was there. She took it off before Jeongyeon could open the door and uttered some lame
pretense about returning the lost item when in fact she was giving up her favorite coat - yes,
alright, she knew it wasn't hers, but still. So she ended up losing one of the few comfort items she
still had left, but in the end it was worth it because she realized that she didn't need a piece of
clothing so much when she had Jeongyeon back, right there with her. Well, back but not quite. But
that's okay, that's enough.

It wasn't just about the way Jeongyeon looked at her. Or how she could convey her confidence
with nothing but a touch. It also wasn't about the way she could make her laugh just by being
herself or how she made Nayeon feel like she was capable of anything, like she could fucking fly if
she tried. It was mostly about everything Jeongyeon was. Her best friend, her biggest supporter, the
love of her life and also her home. The place she wanted to go back to from the very beginning,
even if she wasn't exactly a place.

But she saw her home about to come crumbling down again when Jeongyeon came face to face
with Haengja. Fuck, that's definitely the last thing she needed right now.
An irrational fear took over her and Nayeon felt like she needed to keep them apart. Like she
couldn't even let her own mother talk to the person she loved the most. No, it wasn't only the
thought that she might end up spilling something to Jeongyeon, but also because as illogical as it
sounded, Nayeon felt like Haengja ruined everything she touched. And she would die before letting
that woman ruin the part of her life she had fought so hard to win back.

But then Haengja left and Jeongyeon stayed. Jeongyeon always stayed. She's her constant.

Virtually, Nayeon knew Jeongyeon was just one person. A person with a beautiful face and an
even more beautiful heart. The person Nayeon fell in love with all those years ago and never went
a day without thinking about her since they met. The person who even though Nayeon kept hiding
things from, was still there to back her up and take care of her no matter what. The same person
who not only waited patiently for her to get her shit together, but also helped her pick up every
single broken piece of herself. A person who deserved much better than what Nayeon was offering
her now.

It was bound to happen sooner or later, and unfortunately it was sooner than she expected.
Something happened. History repeated itself, she's afraid, so she should've seen it coming.

Everything changed all of a sudden, Jeongyeon finally had enough. They tried to talk and ended up
fighting again, and everything fell apart overnight. Granted, everything was already leading them
up to that moment, but still, no amount of preparation would ever get her ready to listen to that
again.

"Nothing is ever easy with you!" It cut into Nayeon's skin like glass and it made bile rise in her
throat. She knew it was true, but hearing that sentence had never hurt as much as it did then.

"Don't you think I know that?! That's exactly why I had to leave!" She replied just as loudly,
hopelessly trying not to break down.

Jeongyeon didn't get it. She just didn't. No one fucking did- she just wanted someone to
understand.

Nayeon had heard that before. Multiple times, as a matter of fact. She didn't need anyone else
telling her how difficult she was.

"You like to mess things up."

"Stop being so stubborn."

"Why can't you take the easy way for a change?"

"No one will put up with you for long if you don't drop that attitude."

She heard its variations coming from lots of different people. And one might think that since she
had been hearing it her whole life she would be used to it by now, but she wasn't. She didn't want to
and she never would be.

There were very few things that could get through to Nayeon, but this one... this one always hit too
hard.

Because she could endure it coming from her mother, or even from her father, too, sometimes, she
didn't care anymore. She had heard it from the governess and nursemaids she had growing up and
from teachers and coaches who she never really got along with. Even from some people who she
once made the mistake of calling them friends. At that point she had already lost track of how
many times.

So she could take it because she didn't want to make it easy for them. They didn't really like her
and she didn't care for them either, so she didn't owe them easy. They didn't deserve it any easier so
she wouldn't give it to them. But if there was anyone who deserved it easy, it was definitely
Jeongyeon.

Nothing is ever easy with you!

It echoed inside her head and hit her harder this time around because although she had heard it over
and over again, there were only two times when it came from Jeongyeon.

The first one was a really long time ago, when they were still dating - that is, if they could even
call it dating, the end of their relationship was quite troubled. But it happened in their last fight
before she left and Nayeon would never forget how it all went down.

She vividly remembered how Jeongyeon lost it, how she raised her voice and how the world
seemed to halt around them. How those were the harshest words she had ever heard from then-
girlfriend so far. She also recalled how she choked back the tears, how the heavy silence fell upon
them. How she looked into her eyes, how kept her head high and told Jeongyeon to never say that
to her again.

"Say it again if you really mean it." Nayeon's voice was shaky and yet defiant. "But say it with
your whole chest and I'll leave you alone."

Then she saw Jeongyeon's frown switching from anger to regret when she realized what had just
happened. Because Jeongyeon knew. She knew how much it'd hurt Nayeon. So if she still chose to
say it, if she chose to utter those words, if she chose to use it against her, to kick right where she
knew I'd hurt... then it must mean that Jeongyeon was really done with her.

Jeongyeon didn't say it again, though. She even stuttered some apologies for snapping, but a wall
had already been built between them. It was too late.

That's when Nayeon's decision was made. She could never say it was made for her, but that's when
she knew she had to go. That she should leave Yonsei, leave Seoul, leave everything and everyone
behind. Because at the end of the day Jeongyeon was right. They all were. Nothing was ever easy
with her and it would only get harder from then on. She didn't want to be a burden anymore. Not to
her friends, not to Jeongyeon.

Nothing is ever easy with you!

Hearing it for a second time that night made it all come back to her, burying all the hope Nayeon
had managed to nurse so far.

No, Nayeon wasn't easy. She never was and probably never would be. She just wasn't, it was
beyond her control. Whereas Jeongyeon was easy. She was simple and hassle-free so she probably
deserved someone just like that.

Jeongyeon was a problem solver whereas Nayeon was bad news. Jeongyeon was the solution, but
her? Nayeon has always been the problem.

So Nayeon wanted to give up. She wished she could let Jeongyeon go, live her own life and find
the easy love she so richly deserved.
 Maybe in another reality, or even in a distant future, Jeongyeon would be truly happy with someone
else. Maybe in another world Nayeon would've managed to move on too. Maybe she would've been
able to free them from what seemed like an endless loop.

But in this reality, in this world, in this time, right in the present, Nayeon was utterly and
irrevocably in love with Yoo Jeongyeon. She was bound to her- meant for her, even. And she
would never let anyone talk her out of it ever again, not even herself.

So even though all the guilt was still burning deep inside, despite all the bad feelings she was
dealing with. Ignoring all the people, all the signs trying to take them down, Nayeon would never,
never, let her go again. Not unless Jeongyeon said in no uncertain terms that that's what she
wanted.

But until then, no matter what it took, Nayeon would keep on trying.

Chapter End Notes

honestly, i could write a couple more chapters from nayeon's pov because i loved
writing these two, but we need to get on with the story so i hope this is enough to clear
up most of the questions about sanayeon and also the reason why jeongyeon beat
herself up so much after their fight too

in the next one we'll see how jeongyeon is dealing with all of this

spoiler alert: not well

 the aftermath
Chapter Summary

"I heard that chicks dig scars."

Nayeon's joke also managed to put a smile on Jeongyeon's face. A smile which she
tried to hide, but Nayeon's proud grin let her know that she failed. Then Jeongyeon
leaned further and drew closer to her girlfriend, ready to pop the only question that
really mattered to her.

"Does mine?" She tried to hide the insecurity in her voice by mimicking her teasing
tone, but she was pretty sure Nayeon caught it in her eyes.

In response, Nayeon closed the distance between them with a lingering soft peck, the
kind that always made Jeongyeon feel like she was floating.

"She does." Nayeon said with her lips still pressed against Jeongyeon's. "She digs
everything about you."

Chapter Notes

don't know exactly why but i feel like love you in the dark is a good song for this
chapter

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Jeongyeon didn't know exactly how it happened.

They were leading the score by a goal and there were only a few minutes left of the second half.
Not that this match was worth any titles, it was just a regular high school away game, but it was her
senior year so she was determined to impress the scouts.

The corner was taken too quickly, but she was pretty sure she could make that save. Jeongyeon
used her shoulder to get an opponent out of the way and leaped with both hands up. Grinned
victoriously as she felt the ball touch the tips of her gloves, but then something else literally threw
her off her game.

Too many other people went up along with her, both her teammates and her opponents also wanted
to reach for the ball. She was sure she heard Jihyo urging Wonyoung to mark someone, and also
some other player from the opposing team complaining that their jersey was being pulled. But all
of that faded away when a sharp pain numbed her senses. Jeongyeon fell down to the ground still
holding the ball close to her chest with one hand while the other one was pressing against her
temple trying to stop the ache.

It was an accident, that much she knew. An elbow landed squarely on her eye, but she wasn't sure
if it had come from a teammate or an opponent at that point. It also didn't matter, either way it
made her dizzy on the impact. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the hot fluid run through her
palm.

She vaguely recalled Jihyo crouching down beside her, taking off her own jersey to press it against
Jeongyeon's head while the sight of a worried looking Nayeon was standing right beside her as she
was calling for the paramedics. But then everything went black and she woke up to a similar view
a little later, lying down in a pretty uncomfortable bed instead of the fresh grass of the field.
Nayeon and Jihyo were still there, but now also accompanied by their high school trainer, Coach
Ok.

Nayeon was still wearing her jersey, stained with dirt and grass as usual, but there were a few
droplets of blood all over her shirt. Just like Jeongyeon's if you disregard the fact that the
goalkeeper's jersey was much more red-stained. Jihyo, on the other hand, was wearing her team
windbreaker jacket since her jersey was probably ruined. The striker stood there with folded arms,
pacing back and forth and biting her nails while the captain talked in hushed whispers with their
coach.

There was also someone else in the room. Jeongyeon could tell by her scrubs she was the nurse
who she later came to know was the head of the local infirmary of the school they were competing
against that afternoon. She was the one who realized that the goalkeeper had woken up.

"Welcome back, dear. How are you feeling?"

Three heads snapped in her direction, relief taking over everyone's countenance upon seeing
Jeongyeon awake, but yet everyone held their breaths when she opened her mouth to answer. "I
don't know."

"You don't know??" Nayeon was the first to approach. She stood right next to her girlfriend's
bedside, hovering over her and yet keeping her distance. She looked back at their coach with a mix
of irritation and worry in her eyes. "I told you we should've gone to a real hospital! This third-
world infirmary is not fit for-"

"What did you just say?" The nurse cut in, taking offense at Nayeon's words.

"Well, no offense, but this isn't exactly an ER!"

"Offense taken." The older woman crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow expecting an apology.

"Nayeonie." Nayeon didn't back down and Jeongyeon could tell she was ready to bounce back, so
she reached for her girlfriend's hand who was instantly soothed by the touch. "I'm fine. I just
wanna know if we won."

"Are you kidding me, Yoo Jeongyeon?!" Jihyo loomed up like a hurricane. "You just cracked your
head open and when asked if you're okay you say you don't fucking know because of the goddamn
score???"

"Uh, I'm sorry?" Jeongyeon was confused. She didn't know what had happened yet, but if they
were in the infirmary it couldn't have been that serious, right? All she knew was that her head was
still in pouding, her eye was swollen and there was also something right on top of it, blocking
almost half of her vision. Probably a bandage, she supposed.

"Don't scare us like that again!" Jihyo ranged before launching herself onto the goalkeeper.
Cautiously, of course, hugging her with her head against her chest while Nayeon was still standing
there with a death grip on her hand and bearing worry in her eyes.
"Girls, I'm going to need you to step back. I need to check on her again."

"Yoo, you're okay, aren't you?" Coach Ok was the one who asked that time. He was still standing
near the door and honestly, he looked a bit scared.

"Yeah?" Well, besides the pain and the fact that the nurse was pointing a bright light into her good
eye right now, yeah, she was fine.

"Good. I'm going to call your parents now. Stay put, I'll be back." He said before leaving the room.

"What happened?" Jeongyeon asked as the nurse kept running the tests.

"You got hit and blacked out after that corner. I didn't even know you had that much blood to spare
in your body, but it was enough to maybe fill up a small pool." Jihyo sat down on the couch. The
captain seemed calmer now, but Nayeon was still creeping over the nurse's shoulder, who kept
casting disapproving glances every time she accidentally bumped into Nayeon.

"How bad is it?" She asked the nurse this time.

"Don't worry, I've seen worse." She finished checking her out. Made some notes on her clipboard
and headed for the door. "You had a minor concussion and will be needing a few stitches. I'll go
get the equipment and be back in a few."

"Wait, what? Stitches?? Why didn't you do it while I was out? That's going to hurt, isn't it?" The
nurse sighed heavily. Jeongyeon was pretty sure that after what Nayeon said plus all of their
complaining, she was far from being her favorite patient.

"You're a big girl, you can handle it." She offered a tight-lipped smile before walking out the door.
Jeongyeon whimpered and let her head fall back, but then she cursed herself because it made her
head hurt even more.

Nayeon was back at her side, holding her hand yet again while Jihyo was, per Jeongyeon's request,
doing research on her phone to check whether getting stitches would hurt or not.

"Park." Coach Ok's head popped up in the doorway and he looked even paler now. "Could you...
uh, help me out over here?"

"Yeah?" The captain stood up feeling a bit puzzled, but as soon as he flashed his phone the three of
them heard Mrs. Yoo's screams coming from the device. "Oh, right. I'll take care of it." She shot a
reassuring look at Jeongyeon before taking the phone and walking out of the room with Coach Ok.
"Hi, auntie... no, no don't worry, she's okay."

Well, on second thought, it was probably for the best that it all happened away from home because
otherwise her parents would've had to watch the whole thing. If her mother was that upset now that
she knew she was okay, Jeongyeon couldn't even imagine how worried she would be if she was
there to see it going down. But it's okay, she was sure Jihyo would take care of it and she would
deal with the remainder of the mess later that night when she got home.

Snapping out of her own thoughts, Jeongyeon turned to the side to find Nayeon watching her
closely. She was sitting on a chair by her side, still holding one of her hands between hers which
were propped by her elbows on Jeongyeon's bed, while she also had her chin firmly pressed on top
of their intertwined hands.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Jeongyeon asked when she saw the unshed tears in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" She repeated like that's the dumbest question she ever heard, but her voice
cracked mid-sentence as the tears began to fall down now that they were alone. Okay, Jeongyeon,
that's definitely not one of your finest moments.

"Nayeon..." Jeongyeon sat up, held her close and pulled her up to the bed as she sobbed. Nayeon
leaned over and rested her forehead on the goalkeeper's shoulder to hide herself. Jeongyeon let her
as she felt her girlfriend crying quietly and used her free hand to caress soothing circles on her
back. "Baby, please don't cry. I'm okay."

"I was so worried." She said mid-sob, pressing her head harder against Jeongyeon.

"I know, I know." She hated to see Nayeon cry. She had never seen her girlfriend cry because of
her before and that's not a feeling she liked. It only made Jeongyeon's heart hurt even more than her
head. "But I'm fine, I promise."

"I'm sorry." Nayeon pulled away after a while. Sniffled and tried to pull herself together as her eyes
roamed back at her girlfriend's injury. Only then Jeongyeon noticed that her gaze was always
traveling between her eyes and the dressing right on the top of her wound.

"You have nothing to apologize for." Jeongyeon replied as she wiped some of Nayeon's tears with
her thumb.

Jeongyeon could tell Nayeon was nervous and she had a pretty good guess as to why. She was well
aware that her girlfriend wasn't exactly comfortable with blood, needles or anything of sorts. That's
actually an understatement since Nayeon even at the age of eighteen still needed a hand to hold and
a lollipop everytime she had to get a shot.

"You don't have to stay here, you know. You can wait outside with Jihyo."

"No." She clicked her tongue and shook her head. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Nayeonie-"

"I'm staying, Jeongyeon." Her tone was final and Jeongyeon could recognize a losing battle when
she saw one.

"Okay..." She relented and brought her intertwined hands to her lips in order to place a kiss on the
back of Nayeon's hand. "Can I ask you something?" Nayeon nodded, shifting her gaze to the
bandage once again. "Did we win?"

It got a watery chuckle from Nayeon and the tightness in Jeongyeon's chest eased a little bit
because of that sound.

"Yes, baby, we won. The score didn't change, there were only a couple minutes left in the game
and your save pretty much secured us the win." She flashed Jeongyeon a smile that finally reached
her eyes.

"Good." Jeongyeon beamed as well, but the sudden change made her head hurt again. She winced a
little and once again Nayeon's gaze drifted back to her wound. "It's bad, isn't it?"

She didn't know since she hadn't seen her own face, but the lingering pain was still there and the
fact that her sight was impaired was enough for her to know that she probably had a black eye. She
knew Nayeon didn't mean to make her anxious, but now she was starting to get a little uneasy at
her girlfriend's worried glances.
"It's fine." She sighed heavily. Now she was looking straight at the wound. "There's plenty of
gauze and a bandage to hold everything together. Your eye is pretty swollen and red. It'll definitely
turn black by tomorrow, but on the bright side the cut wasn't too deep." Well, it did sound bad
enough for Jeongyeon, but she wasn't about to say that out loud and make Nayeon even more
uneasy. "They stopped the bleeding on the field before they brought you here, but it looks like
you're bleeding a bit again. There's some blood staining the bandage." Nayeon looked back at
Jeongyeon's eyes and squeezed her hand lightly, nodding along her next words. "But you'll be
fine."

"You should see the other guy." She quipped and Nayeon bit her lower lip as she shook her head in
faux rebuke. But then another thought broke into her mind and she looked away, feeling self
conscious all of a sudden. "It'll probably leave a scar."

"It's okay." Nayeon replied and brought her free hand to Jeongyeon's jaw to gently make her look
up at her. When her eyes met Nayeon's again she found her girlfriend with an amused smile on her
face. "I heard that chicks dig scars."

Nayeon's joke also managed to put a smile on Jeongyeon's face. A smile which she tried to hide,
but Nayeon's proud grin let her know that she failed. Then Jeongyeon leaned further and drew
closer to her girlfriend, ready to pop the only question that really mattered to her.

"Does mine?" She tried to hide the insecurity in her voice by mimicking her teasing tone, but she
was pretty sure Nayeon caught it in her eyes.

In response, Nayeon closed the distance between them with a lingering soft peck, the kind that
always made Jeongyeon feel like she was floating.

"She does." Nayeon said with her lips still pressed against Jeongyeon's. "She digs everything about
you."

That's the memory flashing through Nayeon's mind as she traced out lines with her thumb across
the small scar just below Jeongyeon's right eyebrow. She had woken up way too early and her now
ex-girlfriend was still sleeping soundly by her side.

Nayeon would never be sure whether she chose the right moment. Perhaps the ideal course of
action should have been to tell her everything several days ago. Maybe weeks, maybe months, or
maybe even as soon as she found out. Maybe each of those moments would have led to a different
outcome, a different reaction from Jeongyeon, but the cat was finally out of the bag now.

Jeongyeon's first response was pretty much what she expected. Jeongyeon was too good, after all.
She could get really emotional and she had always been too empathetic for her own good. She was
also much more sensible than she let on, but Nayeon had always known that. So it was expected
that she would feel unsettled and distraught at first, but what Nayeon was really worried about was
the aftermath.

What would happen after she had fully taken everything in? After she had gone over and processed
every bit of new information she got? Would she still feel the same way about her after all the
heartache Nayeon had put her through?

There's no way she could know that, all she could do was hope for the best. Oh, and give her the
time and space she knew Jeongyeon would need to heal.
Nayeon had spent a night with Jeongyeon a couple of weeks ago. After the whole thing with Jennie
and the lab, that was the first time after over a year and it was the best night - which was actually a
whole day - of sleep she had in a really long time. But Nayeon hadn't had a chance to look at her
then - to really look at her like she was doing right now. Scanning her features and tracing lines
across her skin in the intricacy of such a raw moment.

Jeongyeon had always been a heavy sleeper, once she closed her eyes she would actually black out.
That's something Nayeon always envied because from time to time she'd struggle to fall asleep. But
Jeongyeon? The world could be ending and she would still be sleeping.

That's why Nayeon knew she could caress her like that and she'd always do it whenever she was
watching Jeongyeon sleep. Granted, Jeongyeon would joke and call her a creep because of that.
She loved to tease Nayeon about it when they were still together but Nayeon never really minded.

Speaking of which, if they were back to the good old days, Nayeon would definitely have woken
Jeongyeon up by now. She would always shower her with kisses when she got restless or bored of
waiting for her then-girlfriend to wake up to her own accord. But the reality was different and her
now ex-girlfriend deserved to get some rest.

Last night was tough. Jeongyeon cried herself to sleep in her arms and unlike the usual, she hadn't
moved at all like she did most nights. She stayed still, having one of her legs between Nayeon's and
both hands gripping her shirt as if Nayeon was going to run away at any moment. The only thing
that had changed was that she previously had her head tucked into Nayeon's neck, but now she was
resting peacefully on top of the pillow.

Her mouth was a bit ajar and her eyes even though tightly closed, looked tired and displayed dark
circles underneath them. Every now and then they'd tighten a little harder, but not as if she was
blinking, but maybe like she was having a nightmare? Nayeon wasn't sure. It might be that, but
should she wake Jeongyeon up? Probably not.

She didn't get a chance to give it any more thought because her cell phone started buzzing
somewhere in the room. The device was on the floor, inside her backpack right next to Jeongyeon's
study desk. It didn't make any particular sound, it just vibrated. Annoyingly so, in the sheer silence
of that bedroom the buzz was still a bit disturbing.

Nayeon didn't want it to awaken Jeongyeon, so she tried to snuck out from her embrace. She got a
hold of her arm's to try to lessen the grip, caressing to ease her down until she eventually managed
to break free. Then she carefully released her legs and with a heavy heart she left her alone on the
bed.

It was stupid, she knew. She was only going to take a call but still, she wished she could enjoy that
moment a little further.

Either way, she rushed to pick up her phone when it's receiving its third incoming call by now. She
saw the ID naming the driver her grandmother had sent to pick her up the night before. Fuck,
Nayeon had completely forgotten about him. She walked down the hall to take the call and
apologized a little above a whisper when he reported that he had spent the night waiting for
Nayeon at her father's house. She then gave him Jeongyeon's address and asked him to come over
and wait a little longer on the driveway because she definitely wasn't going to leave without talking
to Jeongyeon first.

Nayeon made an effort to be extra quiet not to disturb neither Jeongyeon nor any of the other
residents of the house, but when she tiptoed back through the door, she found her ex-girlfriend
awake and sitting up in bed, looking restless and yet a little drowsy. She was rubbing the sleep
from her eyes and her expression shifted when she looked up to find her standing in the doorway.

"You- you left." That's the first thing she said when their gazes met. It came out shaky and hoarse,
but it was still loud and clear. It almost shattered Nayeon's heart to hear just how broken she
sounded.

"What?" Nayeon frowned and drew closer. She sat down right next to Jeongyeon and held her
hands between her own. Hands that were shaking a little, and only then did a flash of awareness
dawn on her. "No, no. I'm here. I just needed to take a call, I didn't leave." She tried to seek
Jeongyeon's eyes again, but she was already launching forward and wrapping Nayeon in her arms.

"You left." She repeated, sinking even deeper into Nayeon's neck.

"I'm right here, baby. I promise." Nayeon couldn't help but feel bad. She hugged her tightly and
caressed her hair while her other hand was tracing soothing patterns up and down her back. After a
while she pulled away to form actually coherent sentences, but Jeongyeon still held her close,
making sure their arms were still around each other.

"I- shit, sorry. I guess- I had a bad dream."

"I'm sorry about that." Nayeon kept a hand on her waist, but led the other one up to get the stray
hair strands off her face and comb her bed hair. "How are you feeling?"

Jeongyeon didn't answer at first, she merely looked away. Her gaze fell on Nayeon's backpack, the
one she had just moved to get her phone, and then she weakly asked. "You're leaving again, aren't
you?"

"I'm just going to spend a few days with my grandma like we talked about yesterday. We'll see each
other in a few weeks, I promise-"

"Last time you said that you didn't come back for over a year." Ouch, fair enough. Jeongyeon was
right, but Nayeon could do nothing but give her her word that this time would be different.

"I know, I'm sorry." She ruefully replied. "But it's all different now."

"How so?"

"I'm not going away out of fear and I have nothing to hide anymore. I just think it'll be better for
both of us if you take this time to take it all in and... I don't know, see where we go from here."

Nayeon gave her a second for her to reply, but then she kept going once she was met with silence.

"Trust me, Jeong, I really wanna be with you right now, but I think me being here will only
overwhelm you even more. I don't want you to say anything in the spur of the moment or maybe
commit to things you'll regret later."

Jeongyeon still didn't say a word. Didn't even look at Nayeon, so she felt compelled to keep going.

"I'm not saying we can't talk to each other. We can keep talking, you know. You can call or text,
whatever you feel comfortable with. I'll answer any questions you have. Or- or not, I mean, If you
don't want to-"

"Text me when you get there." Jeongyeon cut in when she felt like Nayeon was about to go into a
rant. "And I- I'll call you when- um, I'll call you."
"Okay." Nayeon drawled but this time she didn't seem so sure. She kept scanning Jeongyeon,
trying to read something into her features. I didn't work, so she got a hold of her face and made her
look into her eyes. She needed to make sure she knew she wasn't imposing anything. That she was
just saying what she thought was best for them, but that Jeongyeon also had a saying on the matter
just as much as she did. "I can stay if you want. If you think it's better for-"

"Are you really okay?" Jeongyeon cut her off once again.

"I am." Nayeon nodded. "I've been doing well so far, that's not something you have to worry about
now."

"You promise?"

"Yeah, you can trust me."

"Alright." Jeongyeon nodded, closed her eyes and let her forehead fall onto Nayeon's shoulder. It
dawned on Nayeon that Jeongyeon was saying that more to herself than to her when she repeated it
one more time after she took a few deep breaths. "Ok, then."

A car horn rang outside and Nayeon's phone started to buzz again.

"That's my ride." Nayeon said and Jeongyeon nodded against her shoulder.

"Just give me one more minute." Jeongyeon whispered back and tightened the grip on her waist.

Nayeon let her nuzzle into her neck as she fondled her back. "As long as you need."

Later that morning, the casual conversations around the breakfast table regaled Jeongyeon with a
sense of ease and harmony she missed a lot. Her parents joking around and her older sister
comically upset about how she didn't get a chance to talk to Nayeon somehow smoothed out the
tension hanging over her shoulders.

She also wasn't expecting her younger sister to be home so soon, but Seoyeon came back from
college just in time to catch up with Nayeon on the driveway. Jeongyeon knew that because she
was peering out of her bedroom window when Nayeon bid her goodbyes and got into the car.
Seungyeon, on the other hand, arrived just a few minutes later to drop her kid off to spend the day
with his grandparents before heading off to work. But since they were all home for the first time in
a long time, their parents insisted on having a family breakfast.

"I didn't know Nayeonie was coming over." Seoyeon kicked off the teasing.

"She just needed a place to spend the night." Jeongyeon avoided everyone's gaze.

"You mean Im Nayeon? Like in Jeongyeon's Nayeon? She was here??" Seungyeon asked with mild
curiosity. She looked a bit tired considering her new schedule of being back to work as a first-time
mom, but she was doing a pretty good job dividing her attention between breakfast and her son. "I
thought she was out of the country."

"She came back earlier this year, but apparently Jeongyeon didn't think it was important enough to
mention." Her dad grumbled as he browsed through the kitchen, seized the chance to mess up his
middle daughter's hair in the process.

"Oh, wait, so you guys knew Nayeon was staying overnight?" Seoyeon tried to sound nonchalant,
but failed miserably.

"Well, I didn't know she would be staying over, but she had dinner with us at the restaurant last
night. Jihyo too, they both look lovely." Their mother replied as she brought some more food to the
table. "But as much as Nayeon is always welcome here, Jeongie, I would appreciate it if you would
let us know next time. You know the rules."

"But I- " Jeongyeon blushed and kicked Seoyeon under the table when the younger girl started to
snicker. "We're not- I mean, like I said, she just needed a place to stay before she'd go over to her
grandma's. Her father isn't in town and she didn't want to be alone at her house."

"Still, if we had known she'd be spending the night, your dad or I would've come back home to
keep you company. In fact, your bedroom door was closed when we got home, like I said, you
know the rules-"

"Mom, we're not kids anymore!" Jeongyeon whined and it didn't help the point she was trying to
make. "And the door was closed because we were sleeping, it's not a big deal." She tried to defend
herself as the blush in her cheeks crept down her neck.

Well, that part wasn't exactly a lie, she wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep but her parents
usually came home pretty late. Neither she nor Nayeon expected the night to end that way, but they
were exhausted and it just happened, it wasn't like they planned it. Jeongyeon hadn't even locked
the door the night before, so she was grateful that her parents respected her privacy because if they
had caught that scene she was pretty sure they would never let her live it down.

"Hold on, you guys had dinner together at the restaurant and didn't invite me? What a great sister
you are!" Seungyeon scowled.

"It was last minute." Jeongyeon lied again.

"Well, jokes on you." Her older sister shrugged. "I'd have come over and kept you company here,
you know. At least you wouldn't have to listen to this boring speech all over again."

"We don't- we're not even dating anymore! She just dropped by and we stayed up talking until late.
We lost track of time, that's all." Another lie. Kind of.

"Just a couple of ex-girlfriends having late night conversations and sleeping together in a totally
platonic way... yep, sounds pretty normal to me." Seoyeon pursued her relentless quest to make
Jeongyeon get in trouble, but she wasn't successful since their parents just brushed it off.

"Maybe she's not an ex-girlfriend anymore, since Nayeon is back now and you broke up because
she left…" Her father tentatively said as if he was trying to fish around if the meaningful look he
exchanged with his wife was any indication.

"Still ex, dad. Nothing's changed." He nodded but looked a bit disappointed. Seungyeon kept
complaining about not being invited to dinner while Seoyeon kept bragging about how she got to
catch up with Nayeon before she left.

Jeongyeon huffed and tried to focus on the pancakes in front of her. She wasn't hungry at all but
she thought it best to distract herself with something in order not to get too lost in her head. But
damn, she thought to herself, Nayeon really did have her entire family wrapped around her finger.
She was right. Nothing's changed.

…
Jihyo blankly stared at the wall when Jeongyeon finally closed her mouth. The goalkeeper was
fairly positive that her best friend was about to blow a hole on the wall with her own mind - or
maybe hatred.

"She... she did what??" When she finally spoke up it came out like a shriek. She had tears
streaming down her face and it urged an even bitter feeling in Jeongyeon's guts.

"Yeah." Jeongyeon had bolted to Jihyo's house right after breakfast. She'd love to spend the day
with the rest of the family - or rather with her nephew, but she needed to talk about last night's
events with someone else if she didn't want to go mad. So when she started talking and realized
that Jihyo didn't know as much as she thought, she ended up having to tell her everything.
"Thought you knew."

"I... wow. No, I didn't." Jihyo was earnest, her mind spluttering for the right words. "I mean, I
didn't know the details. All I knew was that she wasn't at Stanford, but I only found out after she
left." She breathed out a sigh. "She never said anything about it, but I just... I could feel it, you
know. In our chats, in our texts, I always knew something wasn't right. I just had no idea how-
fuck, how messed up it really was."

Jeongyeon closed her eyes and let her head fall back. She hoped Nayeon wouldn't be upset that she
was telling Jihyo the whole thing, but the captain was the only one she could really rely on right
now.

"I also knew she was with her mother." Jihyo went on bearing unfocused eyes. "But I always
thought that bitch was sick or something like that. I thought she was the one needing help and if it
really was the case, I also knew that Nayeon was just too good to ditch her and walk away like she
really deserved. But I really never imagined it'd be- damn... I never thought it'd be the other way
around."

The other way around. Fuck. At some point Jeongyeon also came to think of that setting when they
had that first heart to heart on the rooftop. She thought that maybe something had happened to
Nayeon's mother, but she never once came to think the other way around.

"Because I needed her." Nayeon confessed on that same night.

But why? Why did Jeongyeon never consider that scenario? Nayeon talked about her "injury" more
than once and Jeongyeon saw in her eyes how upset she was that she couldn't play anymore. How
could she be so fucking dense? How could she let her anger blind her that damn much?

Perhaps it's because Jeongyeon never saw Nayeon as someone fragile. A frail or vulnerable person
who needed to be taken care of. Nayeon was always a force of nature to her and anything else was
just inconceivable in her eyes.

Even now it's still hard to imagine her ex-girlfriend in the situation she found herself mere months
ago. And if it's already grievous now, how would've she handled it back then? She needed to
believe that she would've been strong enough, but it's not like she could go back in time to find out.
She didn't want to either, it was too painful just to think about it.

Maybe that's why Nayeon shut her out. Maybe she didn't believe Jeongyeon would be able to
handle it and those odds wounded her too. Could that be it? As much as Nayeon may have
explained her motives, Jeongyeon couldn't help but wonder.

"So, now what?" Jihyo asked, pulling her out of her own mind. "You two... uh, you know, where
you stand."
"I don't know." Jeongyeon sighed. "I'm still processing, I guess."

Upon hearing those words coming out of her own mouth, she realized for the first time that
Nayeon was actually right. As much as all she wanted to do was to lock herself away with Nayeon
and just hold her forever, she needed to try to make sense of all of it first. Alone, as scary as it was,
it was still the right thing to do.

"Yeah, that's a lot to take in." Jihyo nodded. "But do you think it's good for you to just back off
now? I mean, I know you're confused and probably upset, but maybe it's better if you acknowledge
it and talk it over to make sure that none of you have any more doubts instead of going through it
alone and assuming things in your head, Jeong. We both know pretty well how the both of you are
about this stuff."

"We won't... we're not backing off, Jihyo. We're giving each other time. I asked her to text me
when she got there safely and she did. I promised I'd call and I will." Jeongyeon tentatively replied,
trying to believe her own words. She knew Jihyo was right. They needed to talk more, Jeongyeon
couldn't keep running away. "We'll talk. I'll call her soon enough."

Jeongyeon spent a really long time longing to know the truth, but the feeling of wondering and
actually knowing were two entirely different things.

For months on end she spent hours and hours wondering why Nayeon had walked out on her. All
the awful scenarios and cruel possibilities her unkind imagination could infer and amazingly
enough, the truth managed to be even worse.

Jeongyeon wished it all was a lie. She wanted to wake up and find out that it was all just another
bad dream. A nightmare, really, just like the ones she used to have after Nayeon left. Anything to
ease it all - the pain, the guilt, the hate, the worry, all those confused mixed up feelings and bad
thoughts she was dealing with.

The knowledge that Nayeon spent months alone - or worse, with her mother - on one of the most
vulnerable and challenging times of her life when Jeongyeon was the one who should've been there
for her was surely worse than any other possible setting.

Worse than Nayeon falling out of love with her. Worse than her ex-girlfriend believing their
relationship wasn't worth the struggle of a long distance. Worse than the fear of a potential
cheating. Worse than Nayeon's mother thinking Jeongyeon wasn't good enough for her daughter.
Worse than anything, really. Anything at all.

Learning that she almost lost Nayeon forever without even knowing what she was going through
didn't just hurt her, it wrecked her. Maybe she was being a little selfish because at the end of the
day she wasn't the one who got the worst of it, but still. Nayeon had been through the absolute
worst and yet she was still there, as strong and resilient as a rock. But the whole thing took such a
toll on Jeongyeon that she couldn't bring herself to call Nayeon at first.

Jeongyeon spent some much needed quality time with her family. She shared long talks with
Seoyeon about her brand new college life and watched her favorite dramas with Seungyeon every
night. Not to mention that her nephew was her new favorite company. The kid was utterly charmed
by Jeongyeon and they got along so well that Seungyeon repeatedly threatened to send the toddler
to Seoul along with her sister once her break came to an end.

Nayeon would love him, Jeongyeon thought with a big smile on her face. She could perfectly
picture the way her eyes would light up when he'd grin and make grabby hands at her. But then her
smile faded as it dawned on her that they weren't exactly on speaking terms right now. Granted, it
was her fault and she was tempted to snap a picture and send it to her ex-girlfriend so they could
maybe strike a conversation about anything else. About how their breaks were going or any other
mundane matter just so they wouldn't have to talk about the main issue, but she didn't do it this
time. She didn't because it wasn't right and she couldn't pretend anymore. She needed to get her shit
together.

So instead she busied herself and went back to her roots. Spent some evenings working at the
family restaurant with her parents claiming that they could use the extra help, but the truth was that
she also missed them and their old family routine.

She also made sure to hang out with Jihyo since being at home wasn't very appealing to the
captain. They hung out with their old teammates, had dates at the diner that used to be their
meeting spot back in high school and spent some evenings watching TV together at each other's
houses.

"I told my mom about Sejeong." Jihyo blurted out on one of those evenings. Both of them were in
Jeongyeon's bedroom, laying in the bed and scrolling down on their phones.

"Oh?" Jeongyeon was taken aback since Jihyo never shared anything about her dating life with her
family. That's because they didn't take it very well when Jihyo came out, so she had always kept
that matter away from them ever since. "What did she say?"

"She... she said she wants to meet her. She told me to bring Sejeong along with me next time I
come home." Her words were drawled and tentatively, as if she was still trying to take it in.

"Seriously??" Jeongyeon echoed as she rose up and sat down on the bed.

"Well, she did add a 'if you're still together by then' at the end, but still..." Jihyo shrugged. "It
sounded like she was trying."

"I mean, given the fact that up until a while ago she just ignored your love life altogether, maybe
that's some progress?" Jihyo looked a little bashful, but she was undeniably beaming. Although she
was glad for her, Jeongyeon wasn't quite sure what to respond since she wasn't very fond of her
best friends' families.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Jihyo agreed. "But I'm still afraid I'll bring her here and my mom
will end up being rude to her or something."

"That's understandable." Jeongyeon nodded and laid back down. "I mean, I get why you're worried,
but maybe it's worth giving it a try anyway. I'm not telling you to bring her over on your next visit,
but you can try and introduce Sejeong little by little. Keep talking about her and gauge her
reactions. Perhaps schedule a video call first, you know. If we're lucky enough she's finally ready
to drop her whole conservative jerk phase."

"Yeah, I hope so." She shrugged and nodded. "But I don't wanna get my hopes too high." Jihyo
added and before Jeongyeon could reply, Jihyo's phone buzzed in her hands. She read the text and
grinned brightly as she typed an answer.

"Sejeong?" Jeongyeon asked, helding a teasing remark on the tip of her tongue.

"Nayeon." She replied without taking her eyes off the screen, so she didn't see the way Jeongyeon's
smile vanished.
"Oh." She looked away. "How is she?"

"You can ask her yourself, you know. You know her number."

"I tried." Jeongyeon answered quietly and Jihyo stopped typing to stare at her.

"She didn't answer?" Jihyo sat up, looking a bit annoyed.

"No, no. It's not that." Jeongyeon quickly clarified. "I just- I keep staring at my phone every night. I
hope she'll call, text, whatever. But I know she won't do it because I- well, I didn't ask her not to,
but I know that from what I said she figured that I wanted to be the one to call when I was ready,
but..."

"But what?" Jihyo gently coaxed.

Jeongyeon had shared some of her concerns and feelings regarding Nayeon with Jihyo over the
past few days, but she couldn't quite get everything out. There was no point in hiding things
anymore, but it was still hard for her to admit what she assumed to be her worst weaknesses.

Either way, she closed her eyes and confessed for a change. "I'm afraid."

Jeongyeon didn't call that night. Nor did she call for the next few weeks.

It wasn't that she didn't wanna talk to Nayeon- she really, really wanted to, but there were a number
of different factors holding her back from taking that step. At least a handful of fears, let's call it for
what it really was.

The first and the most bothersome being the mind-boggling fear that Nayeon wouldn't answer her.
Did it make sense? Maybe not. After all, Nayeon did text her once she made it to her grandma's,
just like she promised she would. But even so, there was still a voice inside her head insisting that
Nayeon wasn't there anymore. The same voice also kept repeating that Nayeon had left her again
and Jeongyeon definitely wasn't ready to deal with it if it was true.

"I'm actually glad you didn't try because that would've only made things harder for the both of us."

That's what Nayeon said once. If she was right then, that would probably still be true now. Even
though rationally she knew that these were pretty different situations, the assorted inner turmoils
and battles she was fighting against her own head wouldn't allow her to separate one thing from the
other.

Like, for instance, she still couldn't come to terms with the fact that she almost lost Nayeon. No,
not just like she had lost her over and over again, but like- really losing her. Forever. Nayeon could
have died. She was sick, for fuck's sake, and she kept it from her. She kept it from Jihyo too, so if
even their best friend didn't know, it was unlikely that any of her other friends would know either.

Which led her to the main issue that would be why the hell would Nayeon do that??? Why
wouldn't she let her or anyone else be there for her? Why would she choose to go through all of that
on her own?

Shit. Who was she trying to fool? Jeongyeon knew why. Sana's voice echoed inside her head, going
over and over the talk they had at the amusement park the other night. Telling her how Nayeon
found it hard to open up and how she was always trying to bear the weight of the world on her
shoulders.
But Jeongyeon already knew all that. It wasn't unusual for Nayeon to try and hide her feelings, to
back off and isolate whenever she was feeling overburdened. Whether it was with her academic
duties or when she was frustrated with her performance on the field. Or even when she had a
particularly ugly fight with her parents, but damn it, hiding the fact that she was ill?? That wasn't
cool, that was definitely too much.

She deserved to know. She was her fucking girlfriend. Until she wasn't.

But what about the plans they made together? What about trust?? There was a limit- there was a
line and Nayeon sure crossed it then, didn't she?

Or maybe not, maybe she was just being a jerk yet again. Maybe she didn't even have the right to
feel that way. It wasn't like Nayeon was compelled to tell her everything, she knew she wasn't
entitled but- she wasn't sure there was a room for a but.

Of course it was an awfully personal matter and they always agreed that Nayeon was under no
obligation to share anything she didn't want to share with Jeongyeon - none of them were, actually.
Nayeon was one person and Jeongyeon was another, after all. But it was still a tricky setting and
while she understood Nayeon's freedom as an individual, she also felt terribly upset about the
whole thing.

Shit, that was a fine and pretty blurred line, and Jeongyeon didn't know which way to lean in, but
what she did know was that she was pretty mad. She couldn't help it.

Mad at Nayeon for hiding everything and at herself for maybe making Nayeon feel like she was
some kind of nuisance. Mad at Nayeon's mother for having the fucking guts to lowly manipulating
her in a such dire moment. Mad at Nayeon's father, too, for being so fucking uncaring and apathetic
when it came to his own daughter. Maybe even mad at Jihyo because even though she said she
knew something was wrong she never told Jeongyeon anything or fuck- why didn't she insist on
knowing what was going on??

You know what? Fuck it! Fuck them! She had enough anger for everyone!

But now that the truth was out there she didn't know what to do either. That's another reason - yet
another fear - why she hadn't called her ex-girlfriend yet: what could she possibly say to Nayeon
after all this?

Hi Nayeon. I'm sorry I was a terrible girlfriend and made you feel like you couldn't talk to me even
before we broke up. I guess that's why I missed one of the hardest times of your life, but there's
nothing we can do about it now, right? Oh, and I almost forgot, but I treated you like shit when you
came back and since then I feel like I've been using you by wanting to be close without being
willing to deal with the bad aspects of our mess. But hey, now that I know the truth I am deeply
sorry. So what now, you wanna get back together or what?

Pathetic. She could never do that.

Deep down, way deep in her heart, she knew some of it wasn't even her fault. Either way, it was
hard to keep the bad feelings in check when the guilt was burning her up like that.

Everything was making sense now - or most of it, she supposed. The last months had felt like a big
puzzle and its pieces were finally coming together.

Nayeon's hesitation to tell the whole truth... hell, now Jeongyeon was coming to believe that all of
that hesitancy was just Nayeon trying to spare her from this moment.
Jeongyeon didn't even believe her when she said she would never leave her unless she really
needed to. She thought it was just another excuse, but now she felt really stupid about not giving
her the benefit of the doubt. And the letter... shit, the fucking letter.

"Worst case scenario, I figured that a broken heart would be a lot easier to get over than a dead
girlfriend." Jeongyeon felt sick to her stomach just thinking about it.

Nayeon wasn't just saying goodbye to their relationship on that piece of paper, she was saying
goodbye to their lives, if that were the case. And Jeongyeon didn't see it. Didn't get it. Didn't pay
enough attention? She wasn't sure, but everything was becoming crystal clear now.

Nayeon's mother's hateful words when she said that after everything that happened she thought
Nayeon would want to do something meaningful with her life. After what happened? Why didn't
she never give it a second thought?

Gosh, Nayeon's cry for help when she said Jeongyeon had the right to be mad at her. Why didn't
she fucking see it?? For someone who kept talking about damn signs, Jeongyeon had actually
missed a lot. Especially in the letter she had read so many fucking times.

"Unfortunately, this time, the forces keeping me from reaching you are too strong."

"And I hope they stay, since unfortunately I can't."

"I'II miss you, Jeong, but please don't miss me too much."

Not only these, but every single missed moment went by in her mind like flashes. Moments she
should've realized, should've known, should've seen.

It broke into her mind, flooding her senses and making it impossible to think about anything else.
And the worst part was that as the days went by it became even harder to make that call.

All she had to do was pick up the goddamned phone and press on the contact that had been calling
her name. In theory it was pretty simple, but she couldn't stop overthinking and wondering that
maybe Nayeon was too upset at her now. Or that after all this time it'd be better to wait to have that
conversation in person. She wasn't even sure what she was thinking, all she knew was that she was
glad Nayeon wasn't there.

Don't get her wrong, it's not that she wanted to be apart from Nayeon, not at all. Maybe it was even
insensitive to say such a thing after everything, but she was going through so many confusing and
mixed up feelings these days that she was pretty sure she'd have already messed things up all over
again if Nayeon was around.

Like, there were days when she'd wake up ready to profess her undying love for Nayeon and
apologize as many times as she needed to for all the heartache she'd put her through. While on
other days she was so upset that she knew she would probably hurt her with words even if she
didn't mean to.

But she was working on it, she promised. It was alright. She could still become the best version of
herself for Nayeon. That is, if Nayeon would still have her, of course.

Because it had been like three weeks since she promised to call and there they were, without any
kind of contact. She figured that it must not have sat right with Nayeon, but Jeongyeon still had so
many doubts and worries that she didn't even know where to start. Even though she was getting
updates from Jihyo to help her out with her anxiety, it still wasn't enough to bring her the peace she
needed.
Jihyo had told her that as soon as Jeongyeon left her house after telling her the whole story, she had
called Nayeon to thoroughly scold her for hiding everything. However, as expected, the call was
rounded off with both of them crying on each side of the line. Not that the captain hadn't been upset
- she was, but it faded away quickly enough. They were fine and back to talking on a daily basis
like the good friends they were. That's why every now and then Jihyo unpretentiously relayed
some information about Nayeon to her Jeongyeon, slipping seemingly innocent bits about how she
was doing into their conversation in the hopes of soothing her best friend's heart.

Jeongyeon didn't thank her outright, but Jihyo knew how much she appreciated it by the way her
eyes lit up whenever she heard the name of the one she loved.

It did take long, but the day she had been trying so hard to avoid finally came.

Jeongyeon woke up panting and distraught. Not knowing what time it was or even where she was
for that matter. She had gotten used to waking up in her childhood bedroom again after being away
for so long, but this time it still felt foreigner waking up there. Alone.

She had a nightmare. The worst one yet.

She couldn't remember the details and she believed it was for the best because the only part she
could recall was that Nayeon was gone. She was there and then she wasn't. Just like that. She
wasn't anywhere anymore and Jeongyeon was left all alone.

It was awful and excruciating, suffocating even. She felt like something was gripping at her guts,
making her stomach churn and her nails dug deep into her palms just so she could feel something
else. Everything hurt and the agony of picturing a life without Nayeon was physically painful. In
her distress she caught herself whispering quietly to herself as if suddenly she was turned into a
believer uttering the most heartfelt prayer.

Please, please, I don't wanna feel like this again. Not now, not ever. Please. Don't take her away
from me.

But then it dawned on her that the one who was keeping them apart now was her. Her, not Nayeon,
not some secrets, not the lies, not anyone else. She was the one who was being a coward, she was
the one who was delaying what needed to be done. But she was also the one who could take the
first step to fix it and make sure that this terrible feeling would fucking go away.

Jeongyeon sat up and groped the bed until she found her phone. She didn't even think about it, she
just typed in the number she knew by heart and pressed the green button.

"Yes?" It was raw and drowsy, but after a few beeps she finally heard the voice she had been
longing for.

Jeongyeon briefly closed her eyes, inhaling sharply and letting her head fall back as a sheer relief
was coursing through her veins.

"Um, hello?" She said again, but a little less sleepily when she was met with nothing but silence.

"Hi! Hi, sorry. It's me, Jeongyeon." She finally answered, but she didn't give any time for another
girl to respond. Her heart was still racing so she just ran her mouth as well. "I- I had a bad dream.
I'm sorry to wake you up, but I- I didn't even think, I didn't mean to-"

"Jeongyeon, hold on. Take a breath." Nayeon cut her off before she could keep rambling. The
younger girl halted and complied because... well, why not? "I knew it was you. I saw the ID, but I
figured it'd be you when my phone rang even though it was set on do not disturb. Anyways, yeah,
no need for apologies." Jeongyeon could even picture Nayeon sitting up and rubbing her eyes to
get the sleep out of them. "Are you okay?"

"I-" She didn't know what to say. Last time she felt okay was when she was holding Nayeon's hand
inside the car on their way home. After that everything was messy and tricky and Gosh, she just
wanted to go back. Oh, no. No, she couldn't keep going back to that. She needed to stop running
from the problems and start fixing them instead. "I'm sorry I didn't call sooner."

Nayeon was silent for a couple of seconds and Jeongyeon listened to her taking a deep breath on
the other end of the line.

"Don't worry about it." Then she repeated. "But are you okay?"

She pressed and Jeongyeon knew that she wouldn't let it go, but she also got the real question
behind it. She even found it a bit bold of Nayeon to be so blunt, but that's the thing about Nayeon,
she was always so much braver than Jeongyeon. Maybe it was time for Jeongyeon to be as brave as
she was for a change.

"I'm mad at you." She confessed outright.

"I know." Nayeon took a few more seconds. "I mean, I figured you would. That's part of why I'm
here now. To give you space, like I said." Jeongyeon nodded, oblivious to the fact that Nayeon
wasn't seeing her right now.

"I don't like feeling this way." Her words came out a little choked, as if she was trying too hard to
even talk. Jeongyeon tucked a pillow behind her back to get more comfortable against the
headboard, but she was well aware that the real reason behind her uneasiness was something else.

"I'm sorry about that." Nayeon replied quietly. "But you can, you know? I told you, you have that
right."

"You keep saying that, but I don't feel like I do. It just makes me feel even more guilty."

"You shouldn't feel guilty about the decisions I made." Jeongyeon was the one who fell silent this
time. But it was now or never, she couldn't take it back anymore.

"Why didn't you just talk to me?" She was pretty sure she must have sounded like she was begging
and she did feel somewhat pathetic about it, but surprisingly enough she couldn't care less.

"I've told you, Jeong. We weren't exactly-"

"Okay, I know. I mean, I understand the reasons why you didn't tell me before. We weren't doing
well, you had your doubts, all of that. I got it. I still don't agree, but I do understand." Jeongyeon
cut straight to the chase. "But what about after you went back to Yonsei? You- you could've told
me the truth. You should've, Nayeon."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Nayeon whispered back. "But I was afraid."

"Afraid of what??"

"Same stuff I was before I left. Of- of how you would react and how everything was going to go
down." Jeongyeon closed her eyes again. "But I had a plan." She added before Jeongyeon could
say anything. "It wasn't a very good plan, but it was the only one I could come up with."
"What plan?"

"Well," Jeongyeon heard some shuffling noises on the other side and she assumed that Nayeon was
moving or trying to get more comfortable. "Just like before I left, I found myself caught between
two possible outcomes and one of them was still the same. I thought that if I told you the whole
truth at the very first moment maybe you'd reach out to me out of pity... or guilt, like you're feeling
now. Either way, I didn't think you'd be entirely willing, to be honest. Or else- or worse, I thought
that maybe you'd be really upset with me. Angry, even, to the point that you wouldn't want
anything to do with me anymore. For good." She released a tired sigh. "Anyway, both options were
awful, so I needed a third one. And I found it."

"What do you mean?"

"As much as I didn't want to acknowledge it and make the blunder of giving myself false hope, I
really wanted to- you know, I wanted to give us another try... I obviously knew it wouldn't be that
easy, I mean, it'd actually be a pretty tough and long road, but I thought that if we only got a little
closer... if we spend some time together, if I- if I got you to remember how good we used to be
together... I don't know... maybe we'd at least stand a chance." She sounded uncharacteristically
coy as she confessed. "I know it sounds stupid now, but like I said, it wasn't a very good plan, but it
was the only one I had."

Jeongyeon cracked her eyes open and wiped away the hot tears streaming down her face. "I just- I
think I get it. I get it, but I still don't know what to think, Nayeon."

"Trust me, I never meant to keep you in the dark or blandly deceive you. Let alone let it drag on for
this long. I- I thought that a couple of weeks would be enough for us to at least be friends again so I
could tell you the truth and get it over with, but-" There was a distinct sense of urgency in
Nayeon's voice as she tried to justify her actions. "Nothing turned out the way I expected. We
argued more than once, and I thought you didn't want me in your life anymore. Damn, you even
asked me to leave you alone and I really tried to do that. I swear I tried, Jeong, but fuck, when it
comes to you everything is so..." She stopped and breathed deeply yet again. "I just... I can't seem
to stay away. But my stubbornness seemed to pay off for a change because you finally opened up to
me and I clung onto that glimmer of hope with all of my heart.

"Look, I can explain everything when- if you- I mean, damn it, I don't know what you want to do
from now on, but I just need you to know that even though I did have a plan, the truth is that I didn't
plan any of this. We just kept getting closer and closer, one thing led to another, and I- I ended up
getting lost, I guess. I was caught in my own trap because at least there I had you- a part of you, I
mean, and I was okay with that because I didn't want anything else but you. And the more I kept
hiding, the more comfortable I got." Nayeon paused again. Her voice was raspy and edgy, all but
gasping for air. "Fuck, I'm sorry it took so long, but at the end of the day I believe everything
happened the way it was supposed to."

"Seriously??" Jeongyeon thoughtlessly replied, not managing to hide the tinge of hostility in her
voice. "Don't you think we could have handled all this a lot differently?"

"Yeah, maybe. But you love me, don't you?" The world seemed to stop around her, but Nayeon
didn't give her even a second to think. "You don't have to answer, I know you do. I have no doubt
that you still loved me even before we broke up, Jeongyeon. And I learned all this in the course of
these past months. Not earlier, not after, but in this time we've been spending together after I came
back. I don't know if we would've acknowledged our feelings if it had been any other way, so I can't
be a hypocrite and say that I would've done anything differently. I know you're upset right now...
angry, even, but if you're calling me I also know that you don't hate me like I thought you would.
 Or you can't hate me, no matter how much you want to, I'm not sure. What I do know is that even if
we're not able to move past this or- or even if just our love isn't enough. Shit, even if there's no
happy ending waiting for us at the end of the line, I'll accept it because for the first time in years I
don't have any regrets. I'm sure I did the best I could, Jeong. I don't know if it's enough for you, but
it's still my very best."

Nayeon finally wrapped up her speech and breathed a sigh of relief when she realized she was able
to finish it without breaking down. Jeongyeon didn't say anything for a while, Nayeon's words
were still settling in the depths of her mind.

"So I don't know what's gonna happen with us now," Meet with silence, Nayeon kept going
because as usual she always hated it when it got too quiet. "I mean, I'm not trying to rush you into
anything. I'll understand if you think we're really done or- or if you want to be just friends? I don't
know, even if you don't wanna anything to do with me anymore I'll-"

"Nayeon." Jeongyeon cut her off before her ex-girlfriend could fall into another gawky rant. She
didn't have the energy to keep going. Wasn't in her right mind to think about it right now.
"Remember that break you spent over there in our junior year? I couldn't go with you because I had
just broken my foot again, but you still called me every night even when I was in my most dreadful
mood."

The line was quiet for a moment before Nayeon cleared her throat to answer both hesitant and
confused. She didn't understand how that could be relevant now, but she still followed along. "Um.
Yeah, I guess?"

"Some days I was so upset that I barely said anything, but you still managed to keep the
conversation going. Whether it was talking about your day or- I don't know, sometimes you would
tell the whole plot of a movie you had watched just to talk to me." Nayeon listened carefully, but
kept silent. Then a split second later Jeongyeon added very quietly. "Can you do that now?"

"Can I...?" She sounded unsure, but quickly steadied her voice to add. "I can, I mean! I totally can.
Oh, but well, I didn't have a eventful day at all, and I haven't watched anything interesting in a
while, so-"

"It's okay." Jeongyeon shook her head. "I just want to hear your voice."

A beat passed. Then Jeongyeon heard some rustling on the other end of the line.

"Okay." It was Nayeon getting up and opening her window. "How do you feel about getting a
thorough description of every single constellation that I can see from my room?"

Jeongyeon laid back down, set her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. She imagined Nayeon
right there, beside her, just as she wished she was. "Sounds great."

Chapter End Notes

hi. sorry it took so long this time but as i said before, my job and uni have been kicking
my ass lately

anyway, i felt like i had to go over the rest of the story a few times and i even thought
about changing some things, but in the end i decided against it because i think i'm
finally happy with the ending i'm creating.

so, barring next friday when i'll be taking a well needed week off from work, i'll try
my best to update weekly until we're done, so keep letting me know what you think :)
 new beginnings
Chapter Summary

You know my memory isn't really good, but I've come to know that it's impossible to
forget anything about you. It was the last week before you left and I'm still not sure
what I did or where I went wrong, to be honest. Sometimes I feel like calling you and
asking, but we both know I'll never do that. But still, I think about it, you know. I like
to keep that memory alive.

Even though deep down I know you didn't mean it, those three little words still sent
shivers through my spine. And that time I couldn't bring myself to answer because
words would never do justice to the way I felt about you. So instead I kissed you. I
kissed you senseless and I held onto you like you were my lifeline. But fuck, Nayeon-
you really, really were.

̶I̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶.̶

I wish I could tell you that right now.

Chapter Notes

did you said want communication??? here, have some

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"The next couple of months will be the most pivotal of your lives." Coach Bae's voice echoed
around the field as every player listened attentively. "All the hard work you've put in, every
sleepless night, the grueling practices, and everything else you gave up to earn our spot in the
playoffs, it'll all have been for nothing if we fail from here on out."

It's their very first practice after the break. The next round was right around the corner, so the
players were called back before classes started since the team needed to be in its best shape for the
rest of the season if they really wanted to win that trophy.

"From now on, I want you to forget about everything else. Your one and only goal is to give your
all on the field and I don't wanna hear any more excuses. You know I usually take it easy on you
girls, so lately I've been cutting you some slack," Had she??? A wide-eyed Jeongyeon thought to
herself. "But that's over now because I'm not about to risk a do over from last year's fiasco. So
besides for classes and jobs - it includes your library duties, there's no way you're getting away
with it." She sternly pointed a finger at Jeongyeon and Momo as she paced back and forth. "No.
More. Diversion. That includes whatever kind of homecoming fussing you might or might not be
up to." Then she tried to sneak a not-so-subtle glance at Yerim, making half the team have a hard
time trying not to laugh. "The next party you'll be attending is the title one and that's it."

Hope she's right, Jeongyeon mused. She was hopeful- confident even, but she couldn't help but feel
a bit edgy as well. Jihyo probably noticed because she bumped her shoulder against hers to get her
attention and then offered a warm, bright smile, which Jeongyeon tried to reciprocate with one of
her own.

"Furthermore, this is the first time in years we're going to the finals rounds with our team fully
complete. We have no injured or suspended players, and no other absentees of any kind, which
leads me to believe that we're witnessing nothing short of a miracle." Bae also cast a brief glance at
Jihyo and Dahyun, who just nodded in response. "I really think that this year is our year, so be
careful and stay healthy, we want to keep it that way. Don't overwork yourselves and stay focused
on our goal until the very end. Yonsei hasn't won the championship in over five years, and this is
totally unacceptable for a traditional college like ours. We're this close now, I swear to God, if we
let this chance slip away..." She didn't finish, but she also didn't have to. All of them shared that
same feeling. "That being said, I want you to breathe soccer until further notice. Eat and sleep
soccer too, make it work. We're going to bring it home this year, are we clear?"

Jeongyeon caught the sight of Chaeyoung, on her other side, looking puzzled and starting to slowly
raise her hand, but the goalkeeper quickly pulled it down before Coach could see.

"She didn't mean literally, Chaeyoung, for fuck's sake." Jeongyeon scolded as quietly as she could.

"Good, so start warming up. I don't wanna hear any whining today, we've gotta get the job done!"
Bae clapped twice to get the team moving and all the players followed her orders. No bitching, no
complaints, just hard and group work for a change.

The first practice went way smoother than any of them expected. Coach actually took it easy since
they were just coming back from a few weeks off. She knew she couldn't risk pushing too hard and
injuring her players.

Jeongyeon and Jihyo had gotten back to Yonsei two days ago, over the weekend. Momo had
landed the day before, and only when they were off to pick her up at the airport did they find out
that Sana ended up not going back to Japan. On their way back from the airport - because of course
Sana would tag along - she told them that she chose to stay back because she needed to pick up a
few extra shifts at the coffee shop she worked at so she could lay off a little and study harder
during the upcoming semester. Jeongyeon didn't buy it, but she didn't question it either. Thought it
was better to leave that conversation for another time, that is, if Sana ever wanted to talk about it.

Mina had also come back long before Jeongyeon and Jihyo, since she was currently engaged in yet
another project. Thus, as usual, she was already quite busy even before the semester actually
kicked off. Tzuyu, on the other hand, flew in just before practice, while Dahyun and Chaeyoung
never left Seoul. That being the case, with the rest of them in town, the only one missing was
Nayeon.

After Jeongyeon finally plucked up the nerve to call her, they started talking to each other over the
phone during the little time off they had left. They chatted more about their last meeting's events,
debated peacefully for a change, and cleared up a few more unanswered questions, although they
still didn't cover nearly enough of what they really needed to. Their daily texts usually consisted of
updates about their days, all while trying to keep a sense of normalcy despite the fact that they
spent their nights having late conversations and sharing deeper and rawer thoughts.

Nayeon related further details to Jeongyeon, sharing more things she hadn't been able to say before.
She poured her heart out and talked about the hard times and the reasons why she made the
decision to leave the first time around. Went over how she felt back then and the motives behind
why she put off the moment of truth after she came back, as well as sharing more about the time
she spent with her mother. She also went into specifics about her health and her treatment, assuring
Jeongyeon more than once that she was fine and that from now on she would let her know if
anything changed.

Jeongyeon attentively listened and asked a lot of questions, but she still opted to save some matters
to be dealt with in person. Something about having that conversation over the phone didn't sit right
with her. Besides, she was still taking everything in, so she also needed to get her shit together first.

They never really settled on what they would do once they got back to Yonsei. When they saw
each other again, when they went back to their normal routine. But although it was a little awkward
at first, they were trying to improve their communication now, so that's a pretty big step. Both of
them knew that it wasn't going to be easy, but at least they were on the right path. Finally.

Nevertheless, Jeongyeon wasn't coping all that well yet. She couldn't help but feel fooled, left in
the dark and even somewhat betrayed. She was still upset and a bit angry too, but the hardest part
was not being able to stop worrying about Nayeon all the fucking time. The other girl was
probably sick and tired of Jeongyeon asking how she was doing every ten minutes, but that was
something else she would need to work on over time.

Plus, she had been developing an uneasy feeling every time Nayeon took a little longer to text her
back or answer her calls. Which didn't happen much, to be honest, but whenever it did happen, she
could've sworn she was on the verge of a tachycardia. Yeah, that's definitely not healthy. She
couldn't live like that, Jeongyeon would need to work on that as well.

Which was easier said than done, because among the many things Jeongyeon had to figure out for
herself, the irrational fear of Nayeon leaving her again was still one of the most overwhelming.
Even though they have been talking about it and Nayeon had promised that things would be
different this time, that she would be truthful with her feelings from then on, Jeongyeon still
couldn't help but feel unsettled. Worried and sometimes even terrified at the mere thought of losing
her all over again.

The fact that Nayeon's plans had been changed at the last minute didn't help with Jeongyeon's
anxiety either. When Nayeon sent a text message in the group chat with Jeongyeon and Jihyo
letting them know that she wouldn't be heading back to Yonsei with them, Jeongyeon felt her heart
skip a few beats.

Well, at least she let us know this time. She wouldn't have told us if she was leaving again, would
she? Or maybe she was just trying to buy some time? What if she was going to get another letter at
any moment now??

Those thoughts kept encroaching on Jeongyeon's mind even after Nayeon promised she would be
coming back the following week. She tried to focus on that, but it wasn't all that easy. She could
handle it, she told herself, it was only a couple of days, after all... and that's not healthy,
Jeongyeon, get a grip!

"What's going on?" Momo prompted as she neared Jeongyeon.

She was making some snacks for the group perched in their living room. Momo came into the
kitchen to find one of the stove burners on, but empty. The faucet was running and Jeongyeon was
holding an overflowing kettle as she blankly stared at the window.

"What?" Only then did Jeongyeon come back to reality. "Oh, the tea. I'm making tea." She poured
some of the water out of the kettle and placed it over the burner.

"Jeong." Momo came to a halt right in front of her as Jeongyeon tried to navigate her way around
the kitchen. She frowned and repeated the question. "What's wrong?"
"It's nothing, I'm fine." Jeongyeon lied and walked past her. She opened one of the cupboards to get
some mugs.

She hated lying to Momo, but how the hell would she even begin to explain everything if the other
girl didn't even know about Nayeon's real condition? It wasn't her place to tell either. She had
already crossed that line by telling Jihyo and thankfully Nayeon didn't mind, but now she had to
wait and let Nayeon do it if and when she felt ready, to her own accord.

"Jeongyeon." Her voice sounded harsher this time, it didn't suit her at all, but yet it was effective
because Jeongyeon froze once again. She slowly turned around and leaned against the table behind
her, crossed her arms and sheepishly glanced at Momo.

"I'm just worried." That's all she managed to say, but she didn't need to elaborate.

"Oh, I see." Momo mused aloud, but she looked like she got a grasp of what was going on. If not
entirely, at least some of it. After all, Momo had always been much more insightful than she let
others believe, and that was just another thing that made her such a good friend. "Before the break
Nayeon borrowed one of my jackets. You know the one Jihyo got me for my birthday two years
ago? That one. It's one of my favorites and she hasn't returned it yet, so if she's not here by next
week, I'm going to hunt her down myself, you can count on it." Momo causally threatened,
managing to elicit a brief laugh out of Jeongyeon and as much as she didn't seem to be joking, that
was enough to calm her down a bit. But then she reached over to hug her roommate, adding
mufflingly with her chin pressed against Jeongyeon's shoulder. "She'll be back soon, Jeong. I
promise you don't have to worry about it."

"I know, I just..." Jeongyeon sighed. "I miss her." She flatly confessed. Didn't care about the
implications either. Momo pulled away and kept a hand on each of Jeongyeon's shoulders as she
looked deep into her eyes.

"Damn..." Momo drawled and nodded to emphasize her words as if she was about to say something
important. "They're right when they say you're soft."

"Shut up, I'm not!" Jeongyeon grimaced and shoved her away. She went back to browse around the
kitchen trying to ignore Momo's giggles. "Who said that?"

"Seriously, how dare you make fun of me and Dahyun when you're like this, ew!" Momo trailed
right behind her, nudging her arm as Jeongyeon tried her best to look annoyed.

"If you ever act like we're equals again I won't hesitate to beat you up." The two of them teamed up
to finish the snacks together as they kept teasing each other and that was enough to distract
Jeongyeon. She couldn't possibly ask for a better roommate, Jeongyeon thought as she nudged
Momo back.

They all spent the afternoon eating and chatting in the living room, catching up the lost time.
Eventually, Jihyo had to go out to pick Sejeong up at the bus station, and Dahyun and Chaeyoung
tagged along to keep the captain company while the others stayed back to chat and play video
games. All except for Tzuyu who was dozing off in Momo's bedroom due to flight exhaustion.

Jeongyeon was deep into a Street Fighter match against Sana when Momo got a text.

"Mina says she's on her way and she's bringing booze." Sana flinched as she heard the name and
her character almost died on the screen. It would've gone unnoticed by Jeongyeon if Momo hadn't
made a point of pointing it out.
"There's like, almost a week left before classes start for real and she's already booked and busy,
how does she get anything done?" Jeongyeon casually said, trying to ignore the elephant in the
room.

"She's awesome, that's how." Sana thoughtlessly replied and Momo pretty much grunted in
frustration.

"You're pathetic, you know that, right?" Momo stretched out on the couch to poke Sana's thigh
with the tip of her toes. "Just talk to her already."

"Shut up, you're hindering my game."

"Shut up, you're hindering my game." Momo parroted her in a childlike voice and Sana paused the
game ready to engage in a fight. Jeongyeon grumbled and got ready to intervene, but before Sana
could move they heard some knocking at the door.

"Fuck." Sana cursed under her breath and resumed to her previous position. She pressed play and
stared back at the screen.

"Saved by the bell." Momo scoffed before she shouted that it was open.

Jeongyeon was also paying attention to the game now, so she didn't notice that not only one, but
two girls walked into the apartment. Momo also took a while since she was busy making fun of
Sana, but since she wasn't playing she was the one who got up to greet the newcomers.

"Mina, you're late. Sana only behaves when you're around so you're banned from being late ever
again- oh, Nayeon?"

Jeongyeon's head snapped upon hearing that name. She didn't even remember to press pause before
her eyes darted at the doorway. Once she met the one she had been longing for, she felt as though
they were the only people in the room.

"What's up?" Nayeon coolly greeted Momo, but her eyes were searching for someone else. She
only turned away when Momo stepped closer to wrap her into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground
and getting some giggles out of her.

Sana also said her greetings, but she didn't take her eyes off the screen. Nayeon stepped inside and
Mina followed along, but after Momo's hug she stood still by the doorway. Hands tucked inside
her pockets and rocking back and forth in the same place.

"Well, hello to you too, I guess." Mina also greeted everyone as she made her way across the living
room. "I'm starving, I'll be in the kitchen."

"I thought you weren't coming back until the end of the week." Momo pointed out as Sana seized
on Jeongyeon's distraction to attack her character. "And wait, why were you with Mina?"

"I was supposed to, but I got sick of waiting so I drove here myself." She shrugged as if it was no
big deal. "And I bumped into Mina downstairs, we just happened to come up together."

"Like, all by yourself? Six hours on the road??" Momo looked worried, but then perked up. "Hold
on, does that mean we'll get another ride this semester? Don't get me wrong, but Jihyo can get a
little crazy sometimes."

"Mina's a great driver though." Sana realized all too late that she had just given Momo yet another
opening for her taunts, which she didn't miss as she started to tease her best friend once again.
Meanwhile, Nayeon drew closer in small, slow steps.

"Hey, stranger." Nayeon finally addressed Jeongyeon, snapping her out of the trance. Jeongyeon let
go of the controller, vaguely heard it falling on the floor as well as Sana complaining in the
background, but she ignored it all and walked straight toward Nayeon like nothing else mattered.

Before she could think any better she pulled Nayeon into her arms, clinging to her in a bone-
crushing hug. The crash forced Nayeon to take a step backwards, but she caught her balance just in
time. For a moment she could only stand in listless surprise, even felt a little tense at first but then
she melted altogether. Intertwined her hands behind Jeongyeon's back and held her tight as
Jeongyeon closed her eyes and enjoyed the long-awaited warmth of her favorite embrace.

Her mind wandered a little too far as she tried to remember the last time she hugged Nayeon like
that. Because of course they had held each other before Nayeon left her house over the break, and
it wasn't like the snogging sessions they had partaking in the last few months didn't have that kind
of contact either, but the way Nayeon wrapped her arms around her and made her feel cherished
and safe and whole just felt different. Felt right like it hadn't in a really long time.

She relished every second and when she finally got a hold of herself, she noticed that she was
gripping Nayeon's coat so tightly that her knuckles were white. But she didn't really mind because
the scent she missed so much was taking over her every sense and she could've sworn she was in
heaven. She probably would've believed she was if something else, someone else hadn't disrupted
their moment. After all, if she was in heaven she most certainly wouldn't have Minatozaki Sana
taunting her like that.

"Yep. You have just been killed, Jeongyeonie. Now c'mon, pay up."

"You really can't bring yourself to shut the fuck up, can you?" Momo scolded her not only with
words, but also with another unobtrusive kick.

"Come on, they were teasing us over goodbye hugs the other day and now they're acting like
Nayeon's coming back from war." Another pointed look from Momo made her think twice before
speaking again. "You know what? Never mind. You guys can have your little moment, I'll be
hanging out in the kitchen if you need me."

"I swear I don't know where I went wrong, I did my best to raise her well." Momo grumbled, still
staring at the direction Sana had just left. Then she shook her head and turned back to find the
former couple standing there, now next to each other and looking slightly embarrassed. "Oh,
almost forgot Mina's there too. I'd better go supervise so they don't make out on our table or
something."

Momo excused herself and just like that they were all gone, leaving only Nayeon and Jeongyeon in
the room, unconsciously holding hands.

"Hi." Jeongyeon was the one who broke the silence. She squeezed Nayeon's hand lightly and stood
in front of her.

"Hey." Nayeon answered with a small smile before she nodded toward the kitchen. "They don't
know how to be subtle, do they?"

"Yeah, they don't." Jeongyeon shrugged. "But apparently neither do I, so."

She bashfully bit her lower lip as her cheeks grew warmer, but suddenly it was like all her previous
worries were gone. Nayeon was there, right in front of her and holding her hand. That's all that
really mattered.

"You don't have to be." Nayeon took her backpack off her shoulder and dropped it next to the
armchair. Jeongyeon took a step back to make room for her, but she ended up getting off balance
and sitting on the arm of the couch. "Sorry for not letting you guys know I was coming, by the
way, it was kind of a last minute decision."

"Can't believe you came alone." To be fair, she shared Momo's concern about the long hours on
the road, but she couldn't deny it was worth it when she could just slip her hands around Nayeon's
waist and pull her closer.

"I had to." Nayeon rested her arms on Jeongyeon's shoulders, interlacing her hands behind her
neck. "Grandma's driver had a family thing and I couldn't find any buses on short notice, but she
said I could take the car if I wanted to, so I did. I told her to send someone to pick it up when they
can, but she told me not to worry about it since I'm the only one who ever uses it anyway."

"Oh, you mean the pickup?" Jeongyeon tilted her head to look up to her.

"Yep. The one and only." Nayeon smiled as she played with the hair on the back of Jeongyeon's
neck.

"That's nice. I think I miss it."

"You mean you missed my car?" Nayeon teased.

"Yeah, I mean like all the time we spent in it." She tried to explain but Nayeon's smirk only
widened.

"Oh, I bet you do miss it." She wiggled her eyebrows making Jeongyeon blush at the memories.

"Hey, I'm being serious." Jeongyeon bit the inside of her cheek and squeezed Nayeon's waist a
little tighter. "We always had a really good time when we were there. I think we explored the
whole city with that thing."

"I know." Nayeon dropped the teasing tone and stepped back a little to tuck a strand of Jeongyeon's
hair behind her ear. She let her hand ghost over her cheek for a second too long, but then rounded it
off with a wistful smile. "We made a lot of good memories back then."

"We should make some new ones here as well." Jeongyeon tentatively put it out there, leaning even
closer.

"Yeah?" Nayeon asked quietly as she looked at her with such softness that Jeongyeon wanted to
kiss her right then. That's why she couldn't help but take a glance at her lips, but once she looked
up again Jeongyeon didn't fail to notice the hope in her eyes. So she cupped her cheeks, closed her
own and rested their foreheads together.

"Only if you want to." Jeongyeon felt like her heart would beat out of her chest. Like she was about
to melt right then and there, between her ex-girlfriend's arms.

To be honest, Jeongyeon wanted to say a few more words, but she didn't trust her own mouth at
that moment. Not when Nayeon was so close, not when she missed her so much that she was
willing to promise her the sky and the stars if she asked. Jeongyeon definitely couldn't get her any
of those, but at least one thing she could offer: her heart on a silver platter just like she did all those
years ago, because it always had and would always belong to Nayeon anyway.
"I do want to." Nayeon closed the distance between them with a long and chaste kiss to soothe the
restless feeling in the depths of Jeongyeon's guts. "There's nothing I want more."

Later, Jeongyeon went to rescue the rest of the girls in the kitchen. They at least had the decency to
pretend like they weren't trying to eavesdrop, but Jeongyeon knew them all too well to know
exactly what was going on.

Tzuyu woke up and joined them just before Jihyo and the kids came back with Sejeong. The
captain was thrilled to see Nayeon since she wasn't expecting her to be back so soon, so she hugged
and kissed her face repeatedly, prompting Sana to have a field day making jokes about Nayeon
being a war veteran.

Nayeon, on the other hand, didn't let her have fun alone. She made the witty midfielder blush with
a comment about a supposed secret that surrounded the Beach House and which she wouldn't be
taking to her grave. But since no one else besides the two of them seemed to get it, they just
brushed it off and were off to the next topic.

They spent the whole night chatting while low budget movies played in the background, enjoying
the beverages Mina had treated them and the snacks provided by their hosts. Updated each other on
what they did over their breaks and ranted about their new training schedule as they also shared
their expectations about the playoffs.

Jeongyeon never left Nayeon's side. She was always holding her hand or touching her in some way,
whether it was fondly caressing her knee or resting her hand on the small of her back. The
goalkeeper wasn't sure if they hadn't noticed or if they just didn't care, but apparently all her friends
were respectful of whatever process the former couple was going through since they didn't make
any funny comments about it. Anyway, what mattered most was that Jeongyeon was doing the
right thing, that much she was sure of whenever Nayeon looked at her with the brightest smile she
had ever seen.

And even later, when the girls started to head off, Jeongyeon once again asked Nayeon to stay.
More confidently than last time and in a much less dramatic turn of events, just for the record. She
led her ex-girlfriend to her bedroom after saying goodnight to Momo and for some reason she felt a
little more tense once she was alone with Nayeon.

"I like what you did with the place." Nayeon casually said as she walked through the room.
Although she was facing her back, Jeongyeon couldn't help but grin upon hearing the smile in
Nayeon's voice.

"I brought some things from home." Jeongyeon pulled up right behind her and tucked her hands
into her pockets. She analyzed the new pieces, letting her gaze roam along the wall as if she was
doing it for the first time. "I thought it needed a little bit of… happiness."

The decoration hadn't changed all that much, the walls were just filled with more pictures now.
Most of them were of Nayeon and Jeongyeon, and some others with Jihyo as well. A few more of
Nayeon alone, all taken by Jeongyeon: on the field, in their childhood bedrooms, at their old school
and other random places.

Jeongyeon's personal favorite was the one they took together on the balcony of her family home at
her spoiled surprise birthday party a few years ago, the same day they officially started dating. It
had been hidden away in a box for over a year, but now it was proudly displayed on her wall.
"Seriously?" Nayeon turned around and pouted, glaring at Jeongyeon as she pointed at one
particular photo. It was the same she always complained about when she saw the well-worn
polaroid in the goalkeeper's childhood bedroom. The one where her two best friends were
squeezing her into a hug.

"Some things never change." She shrugged, offering a bashful smile.

"You're mean." Nayeon shook her head and went back to looking at the other pictures. "But I really
liked the others."

"I know." Jeongyeon felt proud of herself.

It was simple, but she really knew Nayeon would like it. That wasn't the only reason she did it, but
she was pleased to put a smile on Nayeon's face anyway. Besides, she hadn't just said it, she really
wanted the place to feel more like home, and now it really did. Both for her and for Nayeon.

Jeongyeon relaxed a bit while chatting with Nayeon. She sat on the bed and watched her ex-
girlfriend's wonderful mind at work. It was funny to see her torn between reliving the stories about
each of those pictures, telling all about her trip back to Seoul, and sharing more details about what
she did with her grandma over her break.

But despite being calmer, Jeongyeon couldn't get her mind to rest. Couldn't stop thinking about
everything she still had to talk about with Nayeon. She was still finding it difficult to express
herself, not knowing exactly how to pour out everything she was feeling. But still, she did her best
because she needed to do her part if she wanted this to work.

"Why didn't you come back with me and Jihyo?" She asked after a while. The two of them were
lying down now, but each on one side of the bed. "Not that I'm complaining or demanding. You
don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I was just wondering and-"

"It's okay, Jeong, I was going to tell you anyway." Nayeon cut in. She was staring at the ceiling
with both hands over her abdomen. "Actually, I wish I had told you before, but I didn't want you to
worry." Her tone was soft, but for some reason it didn't ease the chill in the pit of Jeongyeon's
stomach. "Dad paid me a visit."

On one hand, Jeongyeon was relieved because at first she had come to think that whatever had held
Nayeon back might have been a potential relapse in her health. Her mind was always going there,
no matter how hard she tried not to. Virtually she knew there was no reason to worry about it
because Nayeon had promised her she'd let her know if that was the case, but she still couldn't help
it. It was really stressing her out and damn, she really needed to get a hold of herself.

"You mean when you were at your grandma's?" Nayeon's tone was cold and drawn out, so
Jeongyeon knew she wasn't exactly psyched about it.

"Yeah." Nayeon rolled onto her side with her elbow propped up on the bed and her head resting on
her hand. "We... well, he said he was worried. It had been a while since we last saw each other and
he's not very good at keeping up with the whole calling thing, you know." She rolled her eyes but
continued anyway. "He wanted to talk about my mom, too. He went to plead on her behalf, as
usual."

"Does it mean you haven't been talking to her?" She asked carefully, mimicking her position on the
bed. Nayeon shook her head.

"Not for a couple of months." Nayeon stared at Jeongyeon's shirt to avoid making eye contact. "I'm
sure she would've gone herself if I were anywhere else, but she knows all too well that she's not
welcome there. My granma- well, she's not very fond of her either."

"Is that why you spend your break there instead of staying at your dad's?" With this new
information everything made even more sense. Why Nayeon didn't want to stay even a week in her
old home as originally planned.

"Yeah, that too, but also because I missed her a lot."

"How did it go with your dad?"

"Good, I guess?" Nayeon sighed and Jeongyeon placed a reassuring hand to her waist. Gave it a
gentle squeeze so Nayeon's eyes would meet hers. Then she kept her hand there, playing with the
hem of her shirt. "I talked to him for real this time. Grandma backed me up, too. We- I mean, I, I
told him how much this whole thing with my mom was hurting me and also everything else I've
put up with over the past months. I also told him that if he doesn't respect my decision this time, I
won't want anything to do with him as well. He looked... I don't know, surprised? I mean, I know
he loves me in his own fucked up way so I think he'll listen this time." Nayeon nodded to herself
and some tears from the unshed pool in her eyes started to roll down, but she still looked
purposeful. "I- I know I've said this before, but I think it's going to work out this time."

"I really hope it does." Jeongyeon fondled Nayeon's cheek with the back of her hand, wiped away
her tears with her thumb and placed a lingering kiss on her temple before pulling away. "But if it
doesn't, it's alright too. We'll try again until we make it. You and I."

There was a moment of silence where Nayeon just stared at her with such intensity that Jeongyeon
felt like saying something else, but she couldn't bring herself to utter a single word. All she did was
wait until Nayeon broke the silence with a tearful voice as the tears started to carelessly stream
down her face.

"I missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Nayeonie." Jeongyeon wasted no more time. She drew her closer and hugged her
again, just as eager as before. Nayeon laid on top of Jeongyeon and snuggled in, hid her face in the
crook of her neck and spent the rest of the night there. Talking through whispers while her ex-
girlfriend drew patterns on her back and left kisses on her face until she fell asleep on her embrace.

"I missed this the most." Nayeon tried to speak with her mouth stuffed full the next morning as she
devoured the breakfast Jeongyeon cooked for them.

"I can tell." Jeongyeon narrowed her eyes and made a face, earning an arm slap from Nayeon.

"I think we need to talk." Nayeon changed the topic after they were done. She was sitting on the
stool by the countertop while Jeongyeon was finishing doing the dishes. In her defense, Nayeon did
offer to do it, but she didn't let her.

"That's all we ever do." Jeongyeon feigned annoyance as she handed Nayeon another fresh cup of
coffee, but just as she was about to take it Jeongyeon pulled the mug back and charged a kiss as a
fee, which Nayeon happily paid up. "But I know we do. I've been waiting for it, actually."

"Is that so?" It was rhetorical, but Nayeon asked it anyway as she tried to ease her own restlessness.
Jeongyeon nodded in response and sat down on the stool next to Nayeon with her own mug in
hand. "Right, so..." Nayeon took a sip before she started. Still fidgeting a bit since she wasn't really
sure how it'd go. "How are you holding up?"

Jeongyeon set the mug down on the countertop and looked away as she pondered. Nayeon did the
same, but she waited, biting her lip and restlessly fiddling her hands. When Jeongyeon finally
spoke up, the words didn't match her good-naturedly expression and the bashful smile that reached
her lips.

"Badly, if we're being honest." Nayeon sighed and opened her mouth to say something, but
Jeongyeon kept going before she could get a word out. "I was afraid you weren't coming back.
Rationally, I knew that wouldn't happen... I guess, but I didn't stop thinking about it until I saw you
here. And I hate this feeling, Nayeon, but I can't help it either. It's like I'm waiting for the other
shoe to drop, you know." She blurted it all out before she could have any second thoughts. "I know
we're talking now and I- I know you're trying to be honest with me. But- look, I don't know how to
put it in words, I was so scared I could barely think."

"I get it." Nayeon nodded. "That's understandable and I'm really sorry if-"

"No, please don't. We're past that phase already." Jeongyeon halted the nervous movements
Nayeon was making by holding both of her hands between her own. "Of apologies and excuses, I
mean. It's hard enough to keep the guilt at bay as it is, I'm sure it's going to be worse if you keep
apologizing." Her eyes bored into hers as she kept going. "I want to put this behind us- I really,
really do. I want this to be a fresh start, but we can't keep making the same mistakes, alright? I need
you to talk to me. No more running away, no assuming, no more hiding. Do you think we can do
that?"

"I can." She nodded briskly, but then she gave it a second thought and winced a bit. Nayeon looked
away and tried to pull her hands back, but Jeongyeon wouldn't let go. "I mean, I'll try. I already am.
Although it's hard, it's working out so far, isn't it? I know it's been only a few days, but we have to
start somehow."

Jeongyeon quietly nodded as Nayeon stroked the back of her hands. She mulled it over for a couple
of seconds before speaking again. "Look, I don't expect it to happen overnight, but if you promise
me that you're really... in, I know we'll be okay."

"I'm all in, Jeongyeon." Nayeon stared at their hands. A beat passed and then she uttered a question
so quietly that Jeongyeon almost didn't hear it, but the weight behind those words made the air
catch in her throat. "Are you?"

"What do you mean? I just-"

"I know you're upset." Nayeon added before Jeongyeon could deny it. "And I'm fine with it, really.
I don't expect it to go away overnight either, but you said you were afraid I wouldn't come back-
you said you can't help it, so I guess that's something that comes to trust." She kept avoiding eye
contact. "And that's on me, I know, I've given you motive. But I don't think it's fair for you to live
like that. To be in a relationship where you feel insecure all the time because that's not going to do
either of us any good. And while I believe we can get through a lot together, I don't think we can
make it if you don't trust me."

"I trust you, Nayeon." Jeongyeon whispered, her voice barely coming out.

"I think you're trying." Nayeon matched her tone. "But I can see it's hard for you. Through what
you say and how you act. I know you, Jeong, you don't have to hide it from me."

Her heart was thrashing wildly in her chest and she couldn't answer right away. As much as she
was trying to convince herself otherwise, sometimes she still forgot that Nayeon knew her better
than she knew herself. She was right and Jeongyeon couldn't possibly deny it. She also couldn't lie,
couldn't hide, couldn't make the same mistakes like she said.

"I overheard a conversation between you and Momo a while ago." She resumed her speech when
the quiet dragged on for too long. "After Sana and I started talking again, when we were playing
beer pong at the Beach House. We made that stupid bet and you were in the kitchen, but when I
was coming in to tell you I had won I overheard the two of you talking." Nayeon cast her an
apology glance but Jeongyeon just brushed it off. "She asked how you felt about me and you said
you loved me, but-" Nayeon briefly closed her eyes and shook her head before resuming eye
contact. "You said I was a bad habit you couldn't quit."

Shit. Jeongyeon did say that. She remembered it like it was yesterday. How her stomach dropped as
soon as she uttered those words. How she hated how bad it sounded even when it wasn't true by
any means.

"You also said you loved me because you couldn't help it, but I don't want you to love like that. I
can't do this if that's why you wanna be with me- because you're... used to me, I guess? I already
had enough people who stood by my side out of-" She stopped mid-sentence, shook her head again
and kept going with hazy eyes. "Listen, I don't want you to feel like you owe me something, or- I
don't know, because of our history or whatever. No, I- I don't want that. I can't have it, Jeongyeon. I
want you to want to love me, if that makes sense. Not just... settle for me."

That's something Jeongyeon has been doing a lot lately. Saying things she never meant and then
beating herself over it later. Just one more for the list of what she needed to do better, but she was
adamant about fixing it as well as everything else.

But the thing is, this stuff was easier said than done, and in Jeongyeon's case just saying it felt
already hard enough. Because saying it also meant acknowledging her own mistakes and showing
some kind of weaknesses that she hated about herself.

Either way, she had to do it, she had to take the first step. She knew it was crucial, so why the hell
couldn't she just fucking say it? All she had to do was tell the truth and open up like Nayeon was
doing. Just bite the damn bullet and get it over with. Still, she felt like her throat was closing up.
Like air was running thin and nothing she could say was enough.

"But maybe I'm asking too much and it's okay if you don't feel that way anymore." Nayeon
blanched with the silence and broke into a ramble once again. "I- I think we... well, it's too tricky,
too messy and- we've come a long road already and maybe- I mean, I understand if you think that
our time has passed and-"

That's when Jeongyeon regretted all the times she had ever judged Nayeon for not being upfront
because only then did she understand how scary it really was.

"No! No, Nayeon, just- just wait." Jeongyeon leaned in, brought their intertwined hands up to her
lips and laid a kiss on the back of each of Nayeon's hands. "Just- just give me a minute." She asked
as she closed eyes. Took slow, deep breaths as she tried to get her mouth to come into an agreement
with her brain so she could voice her fucking feelings.

She needed to make sure Nayeon knew exactly how much she meant to her, but Nayeon was
always so much better with words that nothing felt good enough. Maybe that's why they didn't
work out before. Not because she wasn't so good with her feelings, but because she resigned herself
to it.
When she mulled about the past, she saw her own mistakes in all those times she had settled for
silence or stormed out instead of trying to fix things and share her thoughts. When she made herself
believe her words didn't seem so right, when her mind wasn't kind to her either. Also when she let
the onus of talking fall solely on Nayeon when she herself should've put more effort and pulled her
own weight so Nayeon wouldn't feel like she was doing it alone. There were two people in that
relationship, after all.

"I've said and done a lot of shitty things since- well, since we met, probably." Jeongyeon felt like
she was outside of her body when the words came splashing out. "I've said things that weren't true,
things I didn't mean and I've also done stuff I really wish I hadn't. Mostly because I was scared or
hurt, but sometimes I was just being a jerk. The why doesn't really matter anyway because it
doesn't justify anything and I don't wanna make more excuses. I do want you to know that I'd take
it all back if I could, but since I can't, all I can do is promise you that it won't happen again." She
started with her eyes still closed, but looked up at Nayeon because she needed her to know how
much she meant it. "So I'm really sorry you had to listen to it and put up with all of this shit, I'm
sorry for making you doubt what we had but- but, I want you, Nayeon. I wanna be with you more
than anything else in my entire life."

Jeongyeon finally confessed and she could've sworn a actual weight was being lifted off her
shoulders, but then she got self-conscious and worried about how desperate she might have
sounded. She didn't want to scare Nayeon so she felt she needed to elaborate.

"Wait, I- I didn't mean to sound weird, but like, I still have plans, alright? Things I wanna do,
places I wanna be and a whole lot of stuff, but I just know it'll all be better with you. I have many
goals, Nayeon, but they all include you. They did long before I realized how much you really
meant to me. It's like deep down I always knew that you were it for me."

She almost couldn't believe how easily it was coming out to her, but she felt more confident seeing
Nayeon thoughtfully lingering on every word she said.

"Like- like today, I woke up next to you for the first time in months without the weight of a
thousand doubts hanging over my head and that's the happiest I've been in a really long time. All I
could think about was how much I want that for tomorrow too. And the day after that, and for as
long as you have me, if I'm being honest. Well, shit, I feel like I'm talking too much already but I
just want you to know how in I really am. I wanna try but I can't lie to you anymore. And the truth
is that, yeah, I am scared. But you're not..." She embarrassedly choked out. "A bad habit, Nayeon.
Far from it, actually I'm pretty sure you're the love of my life."

Nayeon nodded slowly, still taking in every word. Then she calmly answered. "I can't promise you
that it'll be easy-"

"I don't need it to be easy if you're going to be with me."

"Just listen to me, please." Jeongyeon dashed over to cut in, but Nayeon tightened her grip on her
hand. "Look, I'm fine now and I'm going to do everything in my power to stay that way, but like
we've talked about before, I'm probably going to need surgeries in the future. It's not like I have full
control over my health. I mean, it's complicated so I'm not gonna blame you if you don't want to
sign up for it because it's really not fair to live with this fear and-"

"No, that's not it. You've got it all wrong." Jeongyeon shook her head and frowned deeper. "I don't
care about any of this, not like that, I least. I can- fuck, Nayeon, you're the one who has been sick,
you don't have to worry about me when it comes to that. I can handle it, I promise. All you have to
think about is you and how to keep yourself healthy. And like I said before, I want to be by your
side no matter what." She promised and let it sink in to admit what had been truly troubling her.
"What has been bothering me since that day is how you said you don't regret anything. You said it
was all worth it and I'm trying to respect your decision, you know, I really, really am, but I'm still
not okay with it because if you're that comfortable with... with leaving me- leaving everything
behind and walking away when things get tough, what's stopping you from making decisions for
both of us again if things get worse in the future?"

"But the fact that I don't regret it doesn't mean I would do it again." Nayeon tried to reason but she
could see the distress deep in her eyes. "I felt guilty, you know. I still do. Especially after I came
back and saw how... how all of this affected you and everyone around us. It's not like I'm
indifferent, so I mean it when I say I would never put us through all of this again. But I also need
you to understand that I did what I did because I had to. I just really thought we both would be
better off that way and to some degree I was right. I know how this sounds but shit- that was
before, now it's different. I'm different. I guess we both are."

Jeongyeon looked away again, shaking her head before turning back to Nayeon. She had expected
that answer, to be honest, saw it coming but it didn't soothe the stress in her heart.

"That's not very reassuring." There was no hostility in her voice. No judgment either, she was just
being candid and Nayeon appreciated that.

"I know, but hear me out." She let go of Jeongyeon's hands and sat up straight. Held her head up as
if she needed that much to proceed. "I could lie and say I regret it so we could just forget about it
and move on, but that's not how I want things to be from now on, so I'm going to be really frank
with you, alright?"

Jeongyeon only nodded and braced herself because at that point she knew all too well that nothing
in that conversation would be any short of easy.

"Before all this happened, I mean way back, when we started having problems, I also started to
realize some things about myself that I didn't really like." Nayeon looked away, sighing yet again.
"I like you, Jeongyeon. So. Fucking. Much. I can't imagine a day where this fact will ever change. I
can't picture any world where I won't be in love with you, where you won't be my first and last
thought every day. And honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way, but there was a time where that
feeling scared the hell out of me." Jeongyeon frowned confused but made no motion to speak, only
listened in silence. "You had me wrapped around your finger and for the longest time I didn't see it
as a bad thing. You still have me, you know, but now I'm okay with that because I know better-
because I feel like I am a better version of myself now. The problem was that I didn't see it like that
back then and that's why I needed this time apart for more reasons than one."

"What- what do you mean?"

"I came to realize that my life was revolving around you a little too much." She awkwardly bit her
lip and hesitated, feeling embarrassed yet again. "And that's not your fault nor mine, I guess there's
no one to blame in the end, things just got out of hand for me a little bit. But when I thought you
didn't wanna be with me anymore it just made me freak out altogether. Because- fuck, I couldn't
picture my life without you. There was no me without you, or at least I didn't think so. I wasn't...
my own person back then, you know? I didn't even know who I was outside of our- outside of us, I
mean. You were all I ever knew."

Jeongyeon was trying hard to keep up, but those words were settling around her heart and
clenching, and she didn't like that feeling. "Are you saying-"

"No, it's not that I wanted to be with someone else by any means. I didn't want other experiences or
anything like that, quite the contrary. I just really wanted to… be whole by myself. I needed to.
Otherwise I… I mean, what'd be left of me if you left? Or rather when you left, since I thought it
was a matter of time. I didn't know, Jeongyeon, I had no idea. Do you even know how scary that
was?"

Well, shit, that's a lot to unpack. Jeongyeon was rendered speechless yet again. She wanted to reach
out, but for some reason it didn't feel right. Not a million years did she think Nayeon felt that way,
how much more had she missed?

"I didn't know if I could be just friends with you if we ever broke up because the mere thought of
seeing you with someone else was terrifying. Now I know, it's different, I know I want you in my
life either way. I know that I want you to be happy and I know I can try to be too. My point is that
it wasn't healthy back then, neither for me nor for you, and today I can confidently tell that I don't
feel that way anymore. I've grown way more than I think I'd over the past year or so."

There was a sense of urgency in Nayeon's statement, an urge she had heard only a few times
before. But there was also some kind of hesitation, as if she was afraid of the response she might
elicit and it broke Jeongyeon even more.

"Now I know I can live without you." She said despite the lump in her throat. "I've learned that I
can be by myself and be just fine. I know that I don't need someone else to survive, you know?"
Jeongyeon also had tears in her eyes now but she nodded even though the weight of those words
hadn't completely settled in just yet. "But I don't wanna just survive, I wanna live my best life. And
I really wanna do it by your side because as much as I can live without you, everything is so much
better when you're around, Jeongyeon. There was a time where I was worried about you being such
a big part of my life but dammit, I am who I am today because of you too. And it took me a while
to realize, but that's not a bad thing at all. I wanted to find myself and I found out that I'm pieces of
the people I love, and that's alright. Not only you, but everyone else who's important to me and I'm
totally cool with that now. Shit, I feel like I'm just rambling now, but what I really mean is that I
love you, Jeongyeon. I love you still. I loved you then and I love you now, the only difference is
that I'm done running. I'm not giving up on us this time."

Nayeon's eyes bored into her soul and she felt heart bleeding with both affection and anguish all at
once. It was the first time in who knew how long she had heard Nayeon say it, but it brought a
flood of mixed up feelings rushing through her veins.

As happy as she was to hear the person she was in love with saying she loved her back, she also
wondered when she would stop getting a new set of information every time they talked. Because
every time it happened it was like a rock being thrown at the fragile wall of peace she had been
trying to make with herself.

Now, for instance, she had no idea Nayeon had ever felt that way. Lost or overwhelmed? She
wasn't even sure. Did she do something that somehow made Nayeon drown? Did any of her
actions- or lack of them, for that matter, ever made Nayeon feel consumed by her or their
relationship in such a bad way? Well, maybe she should wait to think and go back to that matter
once things calmed down a bit, her priority now should focus on what Nayeon actually said: it was
no one's fault and she was doing better now.

"I love you too." Jeongyeon finally got it out of her chest. "And although I'm not as eloquent as
you, I think I understand what you mean and I believe I'll make peace with it eventually. But I
really don't wanna lose you again."

"You're not going to as long as it's up to me." Nayeon offered a tight-lipped smile, but then a
thought crossed her mind and her features changed from relief to worry altogether. "But you do
know there are risks, don't you? And like, you're not signing a contract, alright? You can change
your mind at any time and I'm not going to hold it against you because-"

"No, no, don't do that. Please don't try to push me away." Jeongyeon all but begged. "If you keep
doing that, I'm going to start thinking that you don't want me by your side. I'm working on the
whole not assuming thing but I'm not very good at it yet." She added, feeling a bit weird but still
glad for being able to be so upfront about it. "If we're going to make this work, I think I'd better tell
you everything that sets me off, right?"

"Yeah, you're right." Nayeon nodded, wiping away the remaining tears and also feeling much
better. "I'm sorry, I'll keep that in mind. And I think I also have to start thinking about something
else."

"What is it?"

"Need to figure out how to get you to trust me again."

"But I do trust you."

"Jeongyeon, you just told me how worried you were because you didn't think I was coming back
even after I let you know I'd be late." Nayeon placed a hand on her ex-girlfriend's knee, finally
feeling comfortable enough to resume physical contact. "Besides, at the end of the day I think I
ended up hiding a lot more than you did, so I guess it's normal for you to be a little wavering at
first. But that's okay, I'm willing to earn your trust back."

Jeongyeon wasn't lying. She didn't see it as a matter of trust, but if that's how Nayeon saw it, there
was no point in just saying it, she needed to prove her wrong.

"Wait up, I'll be right back." Jeongyeon said before running back to her bedroom to grab a familiar
box from her last drawer.

"Another one?" Nayeon arched an eyebrow when Jeongyeon walked back into the kitchen.

"I guess I had a lot of things to hide, just one wasn't enough." Jeongyeon lightly replied with a hint
of humor. She placed it on the countertop and opened it, took out the only newly placed item and
handed it to Nayeon.

"Is that...?" Nayeon eyed the held out object in front of her but didn't reach for it. Jeongyeon
nodded. "Jeongyeon, I can't-"

"Yes, you can. I want you to have it." Jeongyeon placed the journal down on the counter between
them. "Last time we fought I felt like shit afterwards. I hate fighting with you anyway, but last time
just felt a lot worse. I lost my cool and ended up saying and insinuating awful things about you.
Things I swore to myself I'd never say again, or say at all, but I did anyway. So when I was stuck in
the lab I kept mulling it over and beating myself over it, but when I found this journal back home I
realized why I really felt so bad. I mean, I felt bad about the things I said, that's true, but I felt even
worse because unlike what I wanted to believe, those weren't even the worst things that crossed my
mind. And like I told you the other day on the bus, I was afraid to have our talk because I knew
that from the moment you started to be honest, I would've to be candid as well. That's what I was
talking about."

She looked at the journal between them. The same one Nayeon had found in the other box, back in
Jeongyeon's childhood bedroom.

"And I didn't realize the full burden of all this until you told me your whole truth. I mean, I already
felt bad enough about having these thoughts while I was out here thinking that you had left me
because you were done with me, but now that I know everything-" She couldn't bring herself to
finish. The words got stuck in her throat and she just waited, hoping Nayeon would understand.

The moments of anger played like flashes through Jeongyeon's head, multiple thoughts she wished
had never crossed her mind which were now written down on those yellowed sheets of paper.
There were good and bad things to be honest, but while Jeongyeon thought the good ones weren't
good enough, the bad ones really were horrible.

Among the worst, there were hateful thoughts about how she supposedly always knew that
eventually her life would be better without Nayeon, along with dire comparisons between her
former lover and the rest of her family, especially her mother. Nonsense parallels just to get the
anger out of her chest. There were even a couple of pages devoted to how she wished she had never
met her at all. Others, on the other hand, were just heartbreaking and hopeless paragraphs about
how she should've played it differently in order not to lose Nayeon and how much she missed
her. In sum, in that journal lay literally everything Jeongyeon deemed to be the worst side of
herself - the weak one.

"That's how much I trust you." Jeongyeon tried hard to hold her gaze. "I really hope you don't end
up hating me after this. I mean, if you do, I know I've made my own bed. Either way, I just want
you to know that I'm done hiding." Nayeon didn't seem so sure so Jeongyeon felt like she had to
elaborate. "You don't have to read it all, though. If you don't want to, that's okay too, but I want you
to have it anyway. You can tear it up or burn it down for all I care. It's yours now."

Nayeon's features hardened once her eyes left Jeongyeon's to focus journal. She stared it for a
moment before taking it and scanning the leather cover. Jeongyeon looked away once she slowly
opened it because she couldn't bare to see any more hurt in Nayeon's eyes. So Jeongyeon just sat
there staring at nothing and tapping her foot on the floor.

"I can't." Nayeon broke the silence after a couple of minutes that felt more like an eternity to
Jeongyeon.

"You can't?" Jeongyeon helplessly turned around, her voice barely coming out.

That was a bad idea, wasn't it? What could Nayeon have possibly read that had she quitting so
quickly? And wait, what was she quitting exactly? What couldn't she do?? Read that damn thing?
Don't hate Jeongyeon? Be with her after this??

"I don't wanna read it." She resolutely shook her head, closed the journal and handed it back to
Jeongyeon, who couldn't even bring herself to take it.

"Are you sure? Because I-"

"No, Jeongyeon. It's okay, I get it. I know that this is your sign of good faith- of trust, I guess, but
just the sign is enough for me. There's no point in reading it all and dwelling on the past if what
really matters is what we do from now on, don't you think?" Nayeon carried herself with such
confidence that Jeongyeon honestly felt a bit foolish for even suggesting it in the first place.
"Besides, I'm pretty sure whatever you wrote in here is not going to be easy on me. And rightfully
so, I mean, it's not like I've given you many reasons to be nice. But look, I opened this journal
twice and both times I found myself on the very same page. I can't say that it wasn't hard to read,
but it gave me a lot more hope than pain. Both times, Jeongyeon, so if that's not a sign, I don't
know what it is."

Well, it made sense. It was a stupid move to ask her to read all that knowing that those words
would probably hurt her. Good thing Nayeon was smarter than her, Jeongyeon thought not for the
first time.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I didn't think this through."

"It's fine." Nayeon definitively handed back the journal and Jeongyeon finally took it, staring at the
item once again.

"But what... what should I do with it?" For some reason placing it back in the box with the good
memories of her time with Nayeon felt wrong.

"I have an idea." Nayeon got up and made her way to the other side of the kitchen. Walked back
with the trash can and some matches in her hands, sporting a grin with her intentions written all
over her face. "You said I could, right?"

"Yeah, sure." Jeongyeon didn't think she would take that literally, but of course she would. Nayeon
has always had a penchant for drama. "Let me."

Jeongyeon tore off a few pages and scrunched them up before she dumped the journal into the bin
as well. Then she lit the match and let it fall inside. The trash can was on the floor as they watched
the loose papers easily catch on fire and carry the flames to the worn out journal. But watching it
burn made Jeongyeon remember something else, so she got to the old box and retrieved another
piece of paper from inside.

Nayeon watched her as Jeongyeon scanned the letter once again: crumpled, tear-stained and almost
as yellowed as the journal from so much handling. Nayeon recognized it immediately, even though
she didn't know it was there. Honestly, she thought Jeongyeon would have thrown it away a long
time ago.

But something pulled at Jeongyeon's heartstrings, making her flinch and frown before she could
actually do what she meant to. All of a sudden she wasn't so sure anymore. That stupid piece of
paper had gone through so many sleepless nights with her that it felt unfair to ditch it like that.
Still, a brief glance at Nayeon was enough to give her the confidence she needed. Jeongyeon
kneaded the letter one last time before throwing it into the fire. She definitely didn't need it when
she had Nayeon back.

"From now on, if we want to communicate, we'll talk." Nayeon slid her fingers between
Jeongyeon's and held her hand as she watched the flames.

"Maybe we could write once in a while, but only when it comes to the good things." Jeongyeon
squeezed Nayeon's hand a little tighter with a sly smile on her face. The idea of exchanging love
notes with Nayeon didn't seem all that terrible.

"Alright." Nayeon chuckled but also beamed when Jeongyeon placed an arm over her shoulders.
She hugged her midsection and nestled her head into her chest, making themselves comfortable as
they watched the flames consume the items inside the trash can. "To new beginnings, I guess."
Nayeon said against her shirt but Jeongyeon heard her anyway.

"To new beginnings, then." Jeongyeon smiled to herself.

Not long after Momo came bursting into the kitchen, running as if the house was on fire. Well, the
house wasn't, but-

"Look," She stopped and frowned watching the scene before her eyes, placed her hands on her
waist and stared down at the couple. "I don't wanna interrupt whatever is going on here, but I
smelled something burning all the way from my bedroom and I'm pretty sure it'll set off our fire
 alarm if you dummies keep this going. So do me a favor and put that fire out, will ya?"

"Lately I've been thinking a lot about the last time you said you loved me.

I guess it was past midnight when I sneaked into your room. I had just made a pretty lame joke
about the silly movie we were watching but you still laughed until you couldn't breathe anymore.
All while still trying hard not to wake Momo up, and I laughed along not because I thought I was
funny, but because that sound alone always brought peace to all the uneasiness I had inside. It was
the most beautiful thing in the entire world, music to my ears and I was more than proud to be the
reason behind it. Looking back now, this is one of the things I miss the most - besides everything
else, of course.

You had barely calmed down when you looked deep into my eyes. Flushed face, hitched breath,
bed hair and glossy eyes. Breathtaking, like always. Your bangs were falling down your eyes as I
reached up to put a strand behind your ear. I felt the change in the air then, I'm sure you did too.
You pressed your lips together in a tight line as if you were trying to hold the words in, but you
couldn't. ̶I̶'̶m̶ ̶g̶l̶a̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶i̶d̶n̶'̶t̶.̶

You know my memory isn't really good, but I've come to know that it's impossible to forget
anything about you. It was the last week before you left and I'm still not sure what I did or where I
went wrong, to be honest. Sometimes I feel like calling you and asking, but we both know I'll never
do that. But still, I think about it, you know. I like to keep that memory alive.

Even though deep down I know you didn't mean it, those three little words still sent shivers through
my spine. And that time I couldn't bring myself to answer because words would never do justice to
the way I felt about you. So instead I kissed you. I kissed you senseless and I held onto you like you
were my lifeline. But fuck, Nayeon- you really, really were.

̶I̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶s̶h̶ ̶I̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶n̶.̶

I wish I could tell you that right now. "

Chapter End Notes

sooo, you know when a plot reaches its climax and the story ends altogether? like, you
spend so much time waiting for the couple to get together and when they finally do the
story just ends and that's it? yeah, i don't like that, so we won't have it here. i wanna
give 2yeon a real happy ending, so between a little more drama which's yet to come,
the m rated stuff i promised while a ago and the time we'll need to see them as a real
happy couple, we have about three or four chapters ahead of us before we finally reach
the end. yep, that's it, until next time then!
 we're taking it slow
Chapter Summary

Nayeon couldn't help but notice one thing that had been taking over her mind recently.
The dawning realization that when it came to the two of them, it was never just an "I"
anymore. After being by herself for so long, Nayeon never felt like she was doing it
alone anymore because with Jeongyeon it was always plural. She always had a "us" or
a "we" on the tip of her tongue, Nayeon didn't even have to ask. Jeongyeon was always
willing to do everything with her, to be there for every little step of the way.

Chapter Notes

as i mentioned before i suck at tws so proceed at your own risk

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"We're taking it slow. We've been talking and we're fine now, so it's not like we're in a hurry."

Jeongyeon was fulfilling her duties at the library with Momo since both of them were kind of
grounded. But Sana, on the other hand, tagged along for no apparent reason.

She came by with the excuse that she would help the duo, but it had been a couple of hours and she
had only stocked a couple of books into the shelves as they chatted their way through the task.
Right now, for instance, Sana was leaning against the counter while Jeongyeon and Momo worked
among the several piles of alphabetically sorted books.

"I have to admit, I'm impressed." Momo praised their maturity. "Don't get me wrong, I'm really
happy that you guys are getting along, but for a moment there I was afraid you were going to fuck
this up again. I mean, no offense, but you're not the type to be okay with that casual mess you got
going on. I thought eventually one of you'd end up getting hurt again."

"I get it." Jeongyeon dusted off some books. "And again, I'm sorry for making you guys feel like
you were choosing sides but that's not going to happen again, I promise."

"Like I've said before, I'd always choose you." Sana flashed a flirtatious smile and winked at the
goalkeeper as Momo rolled her eyes.

"You don't fool anyone, we all know you've got a soft spot for Nayeon."

"Anyway, real talk now. I think that's the best decision you've made so far." Sana carried on, now
nonchalantly flipping through an old book. "Well, it's not like I'm some kind of relationship guru-"

"Obviously." Momo taunted.

"-but you guys had your whole lives planned out before you even graduated high school, you
know?" Sana ignored her best friend and kept talking to Jeongyeon. "Didn't you think that was a
little weird? The biggest long-term plan I have is what I'm going to have for dinner. If I'm feeling a
little bold, I make some plans for next weekend, ya know? But other than that, nothing."

By the time Sana finished her ramble, Momo was staring at her looking rather stunned. She shook
her head and took a deep breath before remarking out loud. "I swear I'll never understand how any
girl around here could ever consider you a catch."

"It's because I'm hot." Sana shrugged carelessly and winked again but at Momo this time, who
pretended to throw up. "Look, you should be thanking me for helping you guys out here, but no,
you just have to behave like that. Ungrateful. Annoying and being rude to me all the time." Sana
scoffed and clicked her tongue, crossed her arms and dramatically shook her head in faux
disappointment.

"Sure, let's pretend you're doing this out of the goodness of your heart and not because you're
avoiding going home because Mina is probably there."

There were five precious but tense seconds of silence in which Momo and Sana just stared at each
other while Jeongyeon held her breath. Then Jeongyeon quickly stood up to stand between them
and keep all the work they had done from going to waste.

"Would you mind taking it outside- no, no!! Hey, don't!! Don't throw books at each other!!!"

"C'mon." Nayeon was pulling Jeongyeon by the hand, all but dragging her into the field.

"It's late, Nayeon. I don't know if we should be here." She worriedly glanced sideways.

"It's not like we're breaking and entering, Jeong, I have the key. Besides, I'm pretty sure that even if
someone shows up - which definitely won't happen at this hour, just for the record - Coach Bae
won't be mad at us since that's the whole point of the field."

"But it's late." She whined, still uncertain. It made Nayeon come to a halt right in front of her.

"Babe." That simple word sent Jeongyeon's stomach into a full-blown frenzy, butterflies flying
everywhere as Nayeon placed a hand on each of her arms. "You're antsy and you need to get it out
of your system so you can have a good night of sleep. We can do something else if you want, but I
think this will be good for you."

The quarter finals would be taking place the very next day so Jeongyeon was on edge. To make it
worse, the night before she had this stupid dream where the decision would ultimately go to a
penalty shootout, and although she didn't believe in that sort of thing she still spent most of the day
complaining about how she hadn't been training for penalties enough. That's why Nayeon dragged
Jeongyeon into her pickup and drove them to the field later that night so she could get it out of her
head. Jeongyeon wasn't so sure about it, but she followed her nevertheless. Nayeon was helping
Jeongyeon put on her gloves when the goalkeeper finally seemed to remember something.

"Can you... uh, can you really do this?"

"What do you mean?" She puzzledly glanced up at Jeongyeon, but the look on her face was enough
for her to get it. "Oh, yes, I can. Don't worry about it."

"Are you sure?"

"Trust me." Nayeon finished her work with the gloves, held Jeongyeon's face between her hands
and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "I played with you guys at the gym, did you forget? And I did
great, so I'm pretty sure a few shootout won't kill me." Jeongyeon made a face and Nayeon cast her
an apologetic smile. "Uh, sorry, bad choice of words. But seriously, I can do this. In fact, I need to
exercise to keep healthy, that's the doctor's orders. I just can't go as hard as I used to on the field.
Striving too much and running non-stop, you know. That's why I can't play high-performance
anymore."

"And have you been following said doctor's orders?" Jeongyeon asked, thinking back on how she
never ran into Nayeon at the team's gym over the past months.

"I've been jogging with Sana in the mornings when we don't have practice, but with this new
schedule because of the playoffs I don't know how that will turn out." Nayeon shrugged and
Jeongyeon slipped her arms around her, locking her hands behind Nayeon's back. It was a little
awkward because of her gloves, but she still leaned in to kiss her a little deeper.

"We could do it together. Jog, I mean." Jeongyeon suggested against her skin, still placing pecks on
her lips. "In the afternoons after class? You and I, a couple of times a week, maybe three?"

"I don't think it'll be good for you guys to push yourselves any more than necessary this late in the
season. I'll use the team's gym for now and once the season is over we'll see what we can do."
Jeongyeon nodded, leaned in for another quick kiss and Nayeon met her halfway before putting her
hands on her shoulders and slowly pushing her away. "Now get your ass over there. We won't get
complaints if we're here to practice, but I can't say the same if you're going to keep jumping me."

Jeongyeon chuckled and shook her head, but dutifully complied with a smile on her face as she
walked towards the goal to warm up. They talked the whole time, which probably contributed to
constant distractions on both sides, but after an hour or so Jeongyeon was already strained. Nayeon
was tired as well, but Jeongyeon was the one who was jumping around, so she worked herself up
enough to break a sweat.

"Alright, I need a break." She flopped down on the ground next to the goalpost as the ball Nayeon
had just shot landed on the opposite angle. Another goal. "Ugh, I hate the fact that you're still so
good." Jeongyeon feigned annoyance as she took off her gloves to let her hands breathe a little.

"I was born for this." Nayeon beamed and handed Jeongyeon a water bottle before she stepped
back to do some kick-ups, showing off her freestyle skills while the goalkeeper was resting.

Jeongyeon stretched out like a starfish on the gass, all her limbs spread out as she stared at the
starry sky. She loved star-gazing because it always reminded her of the good times she had doing it
with Nayeon. Whether it was on the balcony of her bedroom back at their hometown or at
Nayeon's grandmother's ranch, any place was good enough. They had learned the names of the
constellations together and looking at them always took her back to those days.

Maybe that's why Jeongyeon started to hate going out at night after Nayeon left. Or perhaps that's
the reason why she couldn't go even a day without thinking about her ex-girlfriend for all of that
time. The fact was that this time it was no different, even with Nayeon there, right next to her, the
stars still made her think of her.

"I hate to bring this matter up again, but I wanna ask you something if you don't mind." Jeongyeon
broke the confortable silence after a while. Well, silence barring the noise of the ball bouncing
back and forth between Nayeon's feet.

"Shoot." She said and the goalkeeper propped her hands behind her head to look at Nayeon. The
bouncing noise ceased and she moved closer still controlling the ball.
"Are you really okay with all of this? Not being able to play anymore, I mean. Because- well, I
know what you said about how this wasn't the worst thing that happened to you and get it now, but
still. That was your dream and I've been in your shoes, so I know it's not easy."

Nayeon nodded to let her know that she got her point, but she still took a moment to give it some
thought. She turned away and went back to playing by bouncing the ball from one foot to the other
before answering.

"It sucks." Nayeon sighed, staring at the ball and now bearing fallen shoulders. "I mean, I think
this whole thing is hitting me a little harder now because before I had other things to worry about,
you know? But now that everything else is... um, settling down? I guess I think about it more
often. About everything I could have been and all I could have done. So yeah, I'm upset, I'm not
gonna lie, but I try not to dwell on it since there's nothing I can do."

Jeongyeon listened intently and Nayeon kicked the ball aside, shooting it right into the goal before
she lay down beside Jeongyeon to glance up at the stars above.

"Sometimes I wonder if I should have fallen in love with football instead. At least I could still be a
kicker or something like that. Hang out on the sidelines drinking gatorade every game only to step
in when the team needed me the most would be great." Nayeon laughed at the thought. Jeongyeon
smiled too, but while Nayeon kept her eyes fixed on the stars, she rolled onto her side and propped
her elbow on the grass to watch her. "I know that's unrealistic, I'm just kidding. But I'm okay with
the way things are playing out now. I'm happy with what I'm doing too. Of course I'd like to be on
the field, but I never thought I'd like the behind-the-game stuff so much. I like it a lot, actually, so
if everything keeps working out, I think I still have a future doing what I love."

"You do. You were born for this." Jeongyeon repeated Nayeon's words, smiling even wider.

"I wanna open a soccer school one day. For children, you know, all ages. From preschoolers to
teenagers. I wanna see them come in really young and leave ready and called up for college, you
know? I can picture myself doing that." Nayeon tilted her head and looked away from the sky to
steal a glance at Jeongyeon. She looked kind of nervous even though she sounded sure about it. It
was more like she was testing the idea and maybe somewhat seeking her approval.

"I can picture it too." She reached to move a few stray strands of hair that were slipping out of her
ponytail and cruising dangerously close to Nayeon's eyes. Jeongyeon almost melted when her ex-
girlfriend closed her eyes and drew closer, smiling and snuggling into her touch. Whether it was
because of her words or her actions she didn't know, but she was fine with either. "I bet you'll like
them all calling you Coach, too. But that'd be great because you're good with kids, no wonder
you've been training ours so well."

Nayeon bit her lower lip and seemed like she wanted to say something, but she didn't. They just
kept silent for a while, the two of them staring at each other under the moonlight, lying in the grass
without a care in the world while silence filled the air except for the crickets singing in the
background.

Jeongyeon really meant what she said, she could perfectly picture it. She could see Nayeon thriving
and doing anything she wanted to do, just like she also saw herself standing right next to her every
step of the way.

She could picture herself in the stands, supporting and cheering for Coach Im's team; she could
also picture one of those little girls running up to the coach, maybe crying after being on the
receiving end of a particular hard foul on the field; she could see the same kid tugging at Nayeon's
pants with a pout on her face and reaching out her little arms asking to be held and of course
Nayeon would eagerly comply; she could also see Nayeon letting her hide her face in her neck as
she hugged her tight and stroked her back to calm her down, just like she could perfectly see the
way Nayeon would turn around and seek for Jeongyeon's eyes in the crowd just to tease her,
soothing the child in her arms and mouthing a comment about how their daughter's got their pout
from her.

A shiver ran through her spine as she realized just how much she really wanted this. A future
where they could be happy and fulfilled, making their dreams come true and raising their family
together. She wanted it so much, so badly, that she almost forgot where they were and what they
were doing while imagining their future together.

Her heart swelled with such affection that she also almost went off talking all that foolishness to
Nayeon right then and there, but fortunately her ex-girlfriend snapped out of it first. Nayeon looked
away bearing flushed cheeks and cleared her throat, probably thinking she had been staring for too
long.

"I've been meaning to talk to you about something else." She changed the topic and looked up
again. Jeongyeon hummed for her to continue. "I think I wanna tell Sana and Momo about... um,
about everything. Or almost everything, I guess. But about why I really left and why I can't play
anymore."

"Oh, okay." Jeongyeon nodded. "But do you wanna do it now or like, wait for the season to end? I
know you have a lot of things on your mind right now, you don't have to overwhelm yourself."

"Well, it's not like I can do it right now, but I wanna do it as soon as possible, for sure. I don't feel
like keeping this anymore." She kept sharing her plans. "To be honest I'm not thrilled about dealing
with the questions and the pitying looks again, but I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for
them and I trust them a lot so yeah, I feel like I need to tell the two of them since Jihyo already
knows."

"But you do know that once Momo and Sana know, Dahyun and Mina are bound to know as well,
right? And once Dahyun does, Tzuyu and Chaeyoung will also hear about it. I mean, I love our
friends, but let's face it, they can't keep a secret from the people they love to save their lives."

"I know." Nayeon chuckled. "I thought about talking to all of them at once, but I'll be more
comfortable with just Momo and Sana for now. I think I'll be under less pressure and in the end all
the important people will end up knowing anyway, so I'm okay with it."

"Good, let's do it then." Jeongyeon nodded and sat down, apparently feeling rested enough. "We've
got this."

Nayeon couldn't help but notice one thing that had been taking over her mind recently. The
dawning realization that when it came to the two of them, it was never just an "I" anymore. After
being by herself for so long, Nayeon never felt like she was doing it alone anymore because with
Jeongyeon it was always plural. She always had a "us" or a "we" on the tip of her tongue, Nayeon
didn't even have to ask. Jeongyeon was always willing to do everything with her, to be there for
every little step of the way.

"Yeah, we do." Nayeon also sat down not to let her silly feelings overwhelm her once again. As
much as she wanted to scream to the whole world that she had the best girlfriend in the world, she
couldn't keep gushing about every little thing Jeongyeon did for her like that. Hold on, did she just
say girlfriend? "But that's not until maybe next week, I guess. By the way, you're distracting me to
buy yourself some time, aren't you? Stop fooling around and get right back on that goal, Yoo. We
still have a job to do."
Well, in fact, Jeongyeon really sparked off the chat in order to extend her break time, but now her
body was cooling down and she was starting to feel cold since the weather wasn't exactly warm.
Anyway, she thought it was best to stop stalling, but even so she still did one last procrastination
deed before getting back to work: when Nayeon was about to get up, she lunged foward to steal
one last kiss from her ex-girlfriend.

However, the impact and lack of balance made her fall back, but Nayeon obviously took
Jeongyeon along with her because she wouldn't let her off the hook that easily. Jeongyeon would
never complain anyway, she was cold and if the goal was to warm herself up, she was on the right
track. She pushed her even further until Nayeon's back was flat on the ground. Captured her lips in
a long, deep kiss, pinning Nayeon against the clammy grass and letting time slip away from them.
Nayeon didn't object either, she just uttered a sound of surprise and then allowed Jeongyeon's body
to take place between her legs. Her hands laced behind her neck and Nayeon arched her back a
little when she felt Jeongyeon's fingertips firmly roaming on her waist, roughly testing the path
along her back.

Jeongyeon was sorely inclined to run a kissing trail down Nayeon's neck, but maybe it wasn't
appropriate to let it escalate in a place like that. But it would only be a handful of kisses and it was
dark anyway, she also thought, if anyone were to walk in they would hardly be seen but- fuck, no
dammit, Jeongyeon, get a grip. She couldn't let her mind wander like that. They were in public,
after all. But still, the way Nayeon ran her hands down to her waist and traced her fingers under her
jersey didn't help her case.

Nayeon, on the other hand, held exactly zero thoughts in her mind other than the desire to quench
that growing pressure in her stomach. Just one right kiss was enough to render Nayeon weak in the
knees - thank God she's not standing - and that's exactly what happened when Jeongyeon nibbled
her lower lip, making all the right moves as if her only goal was to drive the girl underneath her
mad. But then Jeongyeon thrust her hip against Nayeon's a little harder eliciting an involuntary
groan out of her and that's when Nayeon knew she was goner.

She also felt like a fool because Jeongyeon immediately broke off the kiss, backed away and stood
up muttering something about going back to work just as Nayeon had told her to. Nayeon took a
deep breath and propped herself up on her elbows, still panting as she watched Jeongyeon put the
gloves back on with a wicked smirk on her face which let her know that she knew exactly what she
was doing.

"You're gonna kill me if you keep doing this, Yoo Jeongyeon." She tried to sound serious, but
Jeongyeon's grin was so wide that she couldn't keep her own smile off her face. "My heart is
already weak, you can't play me dirty like that."

Jeongyeon's smile dropped and she glared at Nayeon in rebuke. Of course Nayeon would make
that kind of joke, Jeongyeon thought not very pleased at her ex-girlfriend's sense of humor.

"Too soon?" Nayeon asked, feigning innocence and hiding a smik of her own.

"Definitely too soon." Jeongyeon kicked a ball at her, making her dodge away and finally stand up
as well. "Now hurry up, Im."

Turns out that taking things slow was really working out for them. Nayeon and Jeongyeon felt like
they were on the same page for the first time in a really long time.

After a few more rounds of deep conversations, Jeongyeon was slowly starting to understand
Nayeon's perspective. To get the reasons that led her to the choices she made and also what she
was feeling throughout the whole process. Of course she still didn't agree with some things, but she
was trying to let bygones be bygones. After all, all she could do now was focus on the future, and
more importantly, on the present.

Besides, some of the stuff Nayeon said really resonated with her. Everything about being her own
person and being an individual outside of their relationship was making more sense to her as they
progressed. Previously, that was never something Jeongyeon had ever worried about, and if it had
been at some other time, maybe she wouldn't understand it as well as she did now.

Jeongyeon liked to believe that she had never felt the way Nayeon did before, and by that she
meant perhaps lost or too invested in their relationship to an unhealthy degree. She wasn't sure but
she didn't want Nayeon to go through that again, so she needed to respect her ex-girlfriend's process
in order for her to be the person she wanted to be.

However, she couldn't forget how she had some pretty terrible thoughts after Nayeon left. Nor how
much of a hard time she went through even before they broke up. Not because of the same reasons
as Nayeon, she supposed, but because of how fucking proud she was, mostly. Or because of how
she couldn't bring herself to be truthful, not even with herself. Either way, she needed to make sure
it wouldn't happen again, so she was working harder on becoming the best version of herself as
well.

For instance, her anger burst and the careless words she'd always blurt when she as mad was
something she really needed to fix; the way she couldn't keep herself from hurting the people she
loved whenever she got too upset. Yeah, she definitely needed to quit that. And she also needed to
figure out a way not to let insecurities get in the way of her happiness anymore.

That's why the first days flew by faster than they expected. The team traveled to a neighboring city
for the quarter final game and although it was a tough match, they still came out victorious. Also,
with classes now back in session and a new training schedule, the first couple of weeks were bound
to be a bit chaotic. Still, the whole team was excited about the prospect of the trophy.

But life couldn't revolve around classes and soccer, so Nayeon took Jeongyeon out on a date a
couple of days after their first match. A late celebration, she said, as the two of them had a nice
meal and a really great time, ending the night stargazing in a secluded area of a park nearby.
Sharing blankets, cuddling and enjoying lingering kisses in the back of Nayeon's old truck just like
they used to do before.

Meanwhile, Jeongyeon was spending even more time in Nayeon's apartment. Not that she was
snubbing her own place by any means, she really loved it there, but Momo and Dahyun could go
so fucking rowdy sometimes that she rather spend her free time in the quiet and peace that only her
ex-girlfriend's couch could offer. She was enjoying herself spending her lazy afternoons binge
watching TV shows with Nayeon or even by herself when the hostess wasn't home. She never
minded, anyway.

But there was still an outstanding issue bugging Nayeon to this day, so she needed to get it over
with to finally get it out of her head. That's why Jeongyeon found herself alone with both Momo
and Sana in Nayeon's apartment that late afternoon.

"Dude, this place is like- wow. I can't believe Nayeon never had us over before." Momo marveled
walking around the kitchen which Jeongyeon already knew like the back of her hand.

"Actually, I've been here before." Sana casually mentioned. "Plus, I had a... uh, a pipe problem, in
my apartment over the break, so Nayeon let me stay over while she was gone. By the way, the tub
is awesome."

"I can't vouch for the tub, but the couch is great and-" Jeongyeon blushed as she realized how that
might have sounded, so she tried to pull off a quick save. "And the kitchen, of course, it's amazing.
Momo, we should totally make dinner together sometime." Jeongyeon glanced over and found
Momo frowning.

"So let me get this straight. I'm the only one besides Dahyun, Mina and the kids who haven't been
here before?"

"Uh, I'm pretty sure Nayeon brought the kids over for a bonding activity last semester. And
Dahyun too, I mean, since she's kind of one of them." Jeongyeon recalled Nayeon telling her about
it over text.

"Fine! Great. Just me and Mina then." She crossed her arms and pouted like a spoiled child. "No
offense, but how am I on the same level as the girl she used to hate just a few months ago?"

"Oh, but Mina has been here before." Sana distractedly remarked as she was tipping away on her
phone, but then the other girl's silence made her look back up.

"Wait, why would Mina-" Jeongyeon crossed her arms with a knowing grin on her face, urging
Sana to elaborate but the midfielder cut her off.

"Gee, would you look at the time!" Sana blushed and fumbled, her voice ridiculously high pitched.
"What's taking Nayeon so long?"

"She just texted to let us know that Coach Bae held her and Jihyo up at the office. You know,
Jihyo is stuck with her because of her punishments but they'll be here soon." Momo shrugged and
then flopped down on the couch with her arms still tightly crossed against her chest and the same
scowl on her face. "And once they get here I'm going to have a little chat with Nayeon and get to
the bottom of this."

"Own, isn't that cute? You're really jealous, aren't you?" Sana teased, but Momo quickly fought
back with further remarks about Sana's crush on a fellow countrywoman, naming no names, but
still managing to get into yet another brawl with her best friend. That's when Jeongyeon heard a
knock at the door.

Weird, she thought, that's Nayeon's place, why would she knock? Well, she wouldn't. It surely
wasn't her, so she got up to check who it was.

The bickering kept going on in the background and Jeongyeon laughed at their antics. She couldn't
help but smile as she walked across the room- that is, until she opened the door and found none
other than Park Haengja on the other side. Her smile had never dropped so fast and the grip she
had on the doorknob tightened as she bit her tongue to keep herself from cussing.

"Oh. It's you." The woman standing outside didn't seem pleased to see her at all, but that was okay
because the feeling was utterly mutual.

"Why are you here?" Jeongyeon demanded without taking her hand off the knob, itching for her to
slam the door closed again.

"Why am I-" She scoffed, pausing mid-sentence to roll her eyes. "I'm here to see Nayeon,
obviously. Go get her."

Jeongyeon took a deep breath and weighed her options. She could pick that fight now and say
everything she ever wanted to say to that despicable woman, but Nayeon was on her way and the
goalkeeper didn't want her to witness a scene. In fact, she didn't want Nayeon to see her mother at
all, what she wanted the most was that Haengja would never cross paths with Nayeon ever again.
Damn, if she were to fall off the face of the earth that would be even better, but of course she
wouldn't so Jeongyeon settled for the second option: try to make her leave before Nayeon got there.

"She's not home." She tried to keep a neutral expression.

"Where is she?"

"Not here, like I just said." Jeongyeon repeated, borderline rude. "So you should go now."

"I've been calling for days. I need to talk to her-"

"I believe that the fact that she is not answering your calls should be reason enough for you to stop
trying to reach out." She was more assertive this time, even looked down at her.

Haengja was wearing a well-tailored business suit that only enhanced her superior aura, and despite
her sunglasses Jeongyeon could tell she was glaring at her. Silence fell upon them for a few long,
excruciating seconds. Somewhere behind her Jeongyeon heard some stirring, so she realized that
Momo and Sana had stopped arguing. Maybe she should turn around and check to make sure they
hadn't killed each other, but she would never lose the staring battle against the woman in front of
her. Hell no, she wouldn't, so she held eye contact and crossed her arms, feeling uncomfortable but
unwilling to give in.

"Turns out that we never got a chance to have our talk, did we, Yoo Jeongyeon?" She eyed her up
and down and then took a threatening step forward. "How about we do this now while I wait for
my daughter?"

"Listen, believe me, I'm trying to be as respectful as possible when I say it, but I have no intention
of talking to you any further that I have to." It's not like she thought that woman deserve any
respect, but her parents had given her a good education and she was trying very hard to use it. "So
please, I'm gonna ask you one more time to leave."

Haengja, on the other hand, wasn't in the mood to cooperate. Of course she wouldn't make it easy
for her. She scoffed and walked past Jeongyeon, uninvitedly stepping into de apartament, but not
without letting her shoulder bump into Jeongyeon's on her way in. Jeongyeon turned around and
saw that Momo was already up, she was leaning against the countertop outside of the kitchen while
Sana was still on the other side. Both of them glaring daggers at the woman who didn't even bother
to acknowledge their presence.

"What do you think you're doing?" Jeongyeon didn't even bother to make sure the door was closed
before following her.

"I thought you might be lying." She conducted a brief search into the room, walking around back
and forth to make sure Nayeon really wasn't there. She didn't go as far as stepping into the hallway
or the bedrooms, seeming pleased enough looking around the living room and the kitchen, which
she could still see from where she was standing right in the middle of the room with her arms
loosely crossed against her chest and her purse hanging from her wrist. "But apparently you aren't,
so I'll wait for her."

"The hell you will." Sana left the kitchen and stormed into the living room with anger written all
over her face, but Momo stepped in just in time to put one of her arms in front of her and stop Sana
from getting any closer. Jeongyeon mentally thanked her because they both knew Sana was willing
to use physical force to get Haengja out of there if she had to, and as much as Jeongyeon wanted to
do the same, she wasn't sure if Nayeon would be entirely comfortable with that.

"What's your problem, anyway?" Jeongyeon walked closer to stand between Haengja and her
friends. "Why can't you just accept that she wants nothing to do with you?"

"My problem??" Haengja raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow, once again glaring at her. "Since
when seeking a relationship with my own daughter is a problem?"

"C'mon, you can't fool me! You don't want a relationship with your daughter, all you want is to
have control over her!" Jeongyeon spat as the words she had been meaning to say for years were
finally coming out. Haengja opened and closed her mouth a few times. Tilted her head and looked
like she was trying to mince her own words before speaking again.

"What I want is what's best for my daughter." Her voice sounded smoother than Jeongyeon had
ever heard it before, but it sent a bad feeling deep in her guts instead of the other way around. The
worst part was that she said it as if she really meant it.

"If you really wanted what's best for her, you would listen to her and back the fuck off instead of
keep on chasing her around after she's made it quite clear that she's done with you and your
bullshit." Jeongyeon was starting to lose it. Her hands closed into fists as she took a step forward.

"She doesn't know what she wants." Haengja also stepped closer. "Actually, neither do you! None
of you do! You're just a bunch of kids who think they know what they're doing!"

"And you're the one who knows it all? Who knows best? Do you even know how she really feels
about you?" She didn't mean to raise her voice like that, but that woman really had a way to make
her rage come out. "Don't you see how much you're hurting her or do you just not care?"

"Oh, so now I'm the one hurting her?" The irony didn't go unnoticed.

"Yes! Of course you are!" Jeongyeon took another step forward, raising one of her hands to count
on her fingers. "You don't really care about her, you don't listen to her either, and you suck up all of
her energy too! You stood her up her whole fucking childhood and then you get all mad and
touchy now that she's old enough to put a stop to it?? I mean, you should've seen it coming. You
thought she would stick around when all you ever do is take-"

"Hold on, let me guess. You think you're any better??" Her tone didn't change when she cut her
off, but she did take another step forward.

"Literally anyone is better than you!" Jeongyeon's voice echoed loudly through the apartment. She
was almost panting and only then did she notice the closeness between them. She felt
uncomfortable once again, however, like always she wasn't willing to bend. Especially not to her.

"If you're so good to Nayeon," Haengja finally changed her tone, lowered her voice to something
cold and venomous. "Where were you when she needed you most, huh?" She took off her
sunglasses and Jeongyeon felt like her eyes were boring into her soul. "Where were you when she
was struggling not only with her heart but also with her own mind?? Or when she felt so lonely and
so hopeless that she came looking for me? For me, of all people, who according to you is so bad
for her." Haengja took another step forward and for the first time Jeongyeon took one back, feeling
her breath getting caught up in her throat. "You weren't that good to her back then, were you? Nor
when she was sick and alone, not when she barely wanted to live! Not when she was so close to
fucking give up!? You weren't there, none of you were! I was! Me, not you! And now you're telling
me that anyone is better than me?" She shook her head, took a step back and looked at Jeongyeon
from head to toe. "Take a look at the mirror, honey. At least I'm the devil she knows."

Jeongyeon felt as if she had just been slapped- no, punched, at the very least; and yet she felt numb.
She froze as those words drew all the air out of the room, and out of her lungs as well. Out of all
the horrible things she said, one in particular got to her a little harder. Nayeon had opened up about
many things for the past weeks, but she had never talked about... that. Or had she mentioned it and
Jeongyeon hadn't noticed? Was she still not paying enough attention?

Momo was quick to notice the lost and hurt look on Jeongyeon's face as well as the terribly
annoying smirk Nayeon's mother was now sporting. What a sick woman, she thought to herself
before walking up to the other side of the room and holding the already open door even wider as
she signaled the way out. "Get the hell out of here."

"Oh, great. Another one." She took a few steps toward Momo, eyeing her as if she was her next
victim. "And who are you, by the way?"

"That's none of your business." Sana spoke up, walking over to Momo and placing herself between
the two of them. "Just listen to her and fucking beat it."

"Do you really think you have the right to kick me out?" Haengja challenged. "I'm her mother."

"Yeah, I know. Trust me, I've heard all about you." Sana gritted between her teeth. "And I'm sorry
to break it to you, but even so, I'm more of a family to her than you will ever be." She used the
same tone Haengja had been using against Jeongyeon. Low, harsh and cold. Mostly patronizing
and for some reason it seemed to unsettle Haengja a bit.

Well, who would have thought? Seems like someone doesn't like to be treated the same way she
treats other people.

"She's my daughter!" Yeah, something definitely threw her off her game because Haengja raised
her voice, losing all composure she had shown up until now.

"You're starting to sound like a broken record now, aren't you?" Sana shrugged wryly and that
seemed to bother her even more. Haengja opened her mouth to shoot something back but her words
were cut short.

"She's nothing of yours." Jeongyeon snapped out of whatever trance she was in. She sounded so
sure and pithy that all heads turned right back to her. "You spent an entire decade away from her.
Living your life the way you wanted to, without the weight and responsibility of her upbringing on
your shoulders. You said in no uncertain terms that you didn't wanna be a mother, and now you
walk around flaunting that title like you fucking earned it?? Fuck off!! You don't! You never have
and never will! No matter who the hell you think you are!"

"Oh, please. You think I want your blessing?? You really think I need your approval? Isn't that
supposed to be the other way around??" She stuck to irony but for the first time Jeongyeon caught
a crack in her facade.

"No, of course you don't. Not mine, at least, but you do want something from her. You need
Nayeon to fulfill some kind of role in this family play you have going on otherwise you wouldn't be
here now." Jeongyeon didn't move closer this time, instead she just stood there. Tucked her hands
into her pockets and loosened her shoulders like she couldn't be bothered anymore. "But let's get
things straight, shall we? You'll never have it. Not her, not her approval, and certainly not her
affection."
"I don't need any of that." Haengja echoed, hissing between her teeth and making a point of
stressing every single word. Uneasily shifted her weight from one side to the other as well.

"For years you've been doing that to her." Jeongyeon ignored and kept going. She had been holding
all that in for too long to take it easy now. "Acting like you owned her because she wanted- no,
because she thought she needed your approval. I remember it, you know. I was there too. No
matter how many times you'd let her down or leave her hanging, she always brushed it off and
tried to do better. To be better for you, to earn your care, your attention or whatever. I think deep
down she just wanted to be someone you would want to be a mother to."

Jeongyeon shook her head as if she was just now placing the pieces together, but soon enough she
leveled her featuress again. She was in the middle of something, after all.

"And the worst part was that she never even uttered a bad word about you, you know? Not back
then, at least, just like her dad taught her not to. Yeah, but let's not talk about your little toy now,
that's a whole nother topic and I also have some words saved for him."

She kept spitting out as hatred boiled inside her chest, but she also kept her tone in check as well as
the rest of her facade.

"But then she finally grew tired of submitting to you. She stopped letting you control her and her
life and that's when everything started to change for you, wasn't it? I got worse once she graduated
because she chose a major you didn't approve of and fled to a college even further away. And for
the first time instead of listening to your demands she finally decided she had enough and cut you
out of her life. She started to live for herself, to set boundaries and that just wasn't working for you
anymore, isn't that it? You lost the hold you had over her, the power to do whatever you wanted.
To keep your sick game of push and pull you had going or whatever the hell that was. You lost
your years-long project all of a sudden. The one you used to work on when you were free and
bored, but you shelved it when you weren't in the fucking mood. I guess you just wanted to keep
her at your beck and call because otherwise you wouldn't have anyone."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Her voice was low and yet threatening.

"Do you really think this is being a good mother? This isn't even about motherhood or family to
you, it's all about power and how you use it to fill the narrative you're-"

"I don't really care what you think! What I do know is that I don't need anyone teaching me how to
raise my own child!" She shook her head and took another intimidating step closer, but it was
useless because Jeongyeon just kept going.

"I bet you were quite content while she was living to seek your affection but then the moment she
gives up, you're the one who's pursuing something you'll never have. Running around her like a
needy, kicked puppy."

Alright, Jeongyeon was probably overdoing it a bit. Playing with fire, perhaps, but she didn't
fucking care. She chose her words with the sole purpose of pissing her off, she wanted to get under
her skin and hit every single one of her nerves. And if the look on her face was any indication, she
was succeeding. Well, fuck her, Jeongyeon just wanted her to prove her own medicine, give her a
taste of all the shit she put Nayeon through.

"Listen-" Haengja stepped even closer and Jeongyeon finally moved again. She took a hand out of
her pocket and pointed a menacing finger at her.

"No, you listen. You need to get out right now. Not only out of this place but out of her life as well!
Move on, alright? Go make someone else's life a hell but leave her the fuck alone. I'm not asking
this time." Jeongyeon held her head high, her height advantage giving her even more confidence.
"Look, I don't know if you're sick or if you're just a bad person, really, but I don't care as long as
you quit this game and stay far away from us."

"I saved her life, you know. More than once! If it wasn't for me we wouldn't even be having this
conversation right now!" She finally snapped and pretty much screamed as if she was some kind of
god.

"Yeah." Jeongyeon nodded and gulped, but didn't break. "Maybe you did and if that's true,
unfortunately I have to thank you for that. But it's her life, as you said, so she should live as she
pleases." She convincingly pressed on. "You have every right to think I'm not good for her and
maybe you're right about that, but I do love her and I'm not going to walk away unless she tells me
to." At that point her voice was cracking and she was using all her strength not to break down. She
needed to be strong to finish what she had started. "And you know what's the biggest difference
between you and me? She's told you more than once to fucking let go. To leave her alone and let
her be, but yet here you are, ignoring her wishes once again."

"You have no idea what you're talking about! I'm-"

"Her mother? The reason she's alive? Whatever, I've heard and I couldn't care less. I'll still fucking
ruin you before I let you drag her down again!"

That's when Jeongyeon finally lost her cool. All that talking was tiring her out and once again her
mind ruefully wondered how many times Nayeon herself had been through this. Shit, Jeongyeon
sure would have gone mad if she had been in her place for all these years. Anyway, she probably
didn't even mean all that, but she was angry and exhausted, and honestly, she just wanted to get it
over with. She just wanted Nayeon to be free. Happy and away from all this drama-

"What are you doing here?" Nayeon's voice rang through the apartment, interrupting both the
discussion and the staring contest. She was standing in the doorway with Jihyo right behind her,
both of them frowning and confused.

"What do you think?" Haengja snidely answered without taking her eyes off Jeongyeon, but then
she turned away, ultimately focusing her attention on her daughter. "We need to talk."

"No, we don't." Nayeon avoided her eyes as she stepped into the living room and pulled up next to
Momo. She held her hand which was nearly white from how hard she was gripping the doorknob,
placed her other hand on Sana's back and guided both of them towards Jeongyeon on the other side
of the room. "And you're not welcome here, I thought I made that clear last time."

"So you also think you can kick me out of my own property?"

"This place belongs to my dad."

"Up until the divorce, you mean. Half this place is all mine." Haengja shot back as if it was
supposed to be obvious.

"I didn't know that." She hesitated for a moment, but then rounded it off, nodding resolutely. "But
don't worry, if that's the case I'll be out of here in no time."

"You can stay if you stop acting like an ungrateful brat-"

"Mom." Nayeon cut her off and closed her eyes for a couple of seconds. She drew a heavy breath
and opened them again, but kept avoiding the sight of Haengja at all costs. When she spoke up, her
tone was monotone and neutral, as if she had that speech memorized and repeated it at least a
hundred times. "We've talked about this. I appreciate everything you did for me, but we both know
that we don't bring out the best in each other. So as much as I wish things could be different, I
believe it is in our best interest if we don't be in each other's lives anymore."

"Of course." Haengja snickered, scoffing once again. "You've said that how many times now? Ten
or so?"

"Yeah, probably more than that." Nayeon's voice came out weak and Jeongyeon hastily took hold
of her hand. "But that's the last one. I mean it, it's final."

"You may be trying to pull off a show in front of your so-called friends, but we both know I'm the
one you'll come running to when they let you down again. It's to me you always come crawling
back to when you're hurt and lonely, isn't it?" Every word was laced with bitterness and venom,
and Jeongyeon had never hated anyone so much in her life. The only thing that kept her from doing
something stupid was the grip Nayeon had on her hand. "But don't worry, Nayeon, I'll be waiting
for you. You know I'm all you have in the end."

She stared down at Nayeon for a second longer before turning her back and leaving the apartment,
but she came to a halt at the door and turned around one last time. She looked ready to say
something else, but she couldn't get a word out since Jihyo slammed the door shut right in her face.
God, Jeongyeon could hug her right now.

"So..." Nayeon blinked and broke the uncomfortable silence. Her eyes were watery, but oddly
enough she didn't seem as upset as she should've been. She looked at each of her friends before
fixing her gaze on Jeongyeon offering a small tight-lipped smile. "Do you know any realtors?"

After Haengja left, Momo and Sana were eager to shower Nayeon with questions. They listened to
most of the discussion so they were able to glean a lot, but there were still many lingering doubts
hanging over both of their heads. Still, they respected her privacy and even offered to leave to give
her some space, but Nayeon used the opportunity to explain that that's exactly why she had called
them over that evening. She confessed that she was planning on telling them everything, but not the
way it happened, not with Haengja pushing up the process. So eventually they sat down in the
living room and Nayeon told the whole story once and for all.

Jeongyeon stood by her side the whole time, eventually kissing her hand and easing the tension in
her heart while Jihyo took it upon herself to make them some tea whereas Nayeon poured her heart
out. Barring some details about the past hardships of her relationship with Jeongyeon that were
beside the point, she told her friends about the current condition of her health and updated Momo
and Jihyo on all the other problems she had been facing against her mother for the last few years
since Jeongyeon and Sana knew most of that.

It certainly wasn't easy and there were several seconds of uncomfortable silence between a few
statements. There were also stray tears and a lot of emotional and angry moments as well, but
nothing they couldn't handle. By the end, baring flushed cheeks and trying to hold back the tears,
Sana still managed to crack a joke saying something along those lines of a "so contrary to popular
belief, you really do have a heart..."

Jeongyeon and Momo weren't exactly thrilled about it, but they had to concede that it might have
been a little funny for their friends' weird sense of humor when Nayeon burst into laughter and
Jihyo joined shortly after.
"Did you really mean what you said about moving?" Jeongyeon asked later that night when it was
just the two of them.

She was sitting on the couch, stroking Nayeon's hair who had her head resting on her lap.
Jeongyeon didn't want to leave her alone after all of that, so she snuggled with her ex-girlfriend in
the living room while they watched a rerun movie on TV.

"Hell yeah." Nayeon answered as she was distractedly picking her nails. "I really didn't know that
this place is also hers. I wanted to come back to Seoul so badly that when my dad said I could stay
here I didn't think to ask any more questions. But I'll talk to him and find another place soon. I
wanna keep my distance from anything related to her."

"Okay." Jeongyeon ran one of her hands across Nayeon's brows and up to the bridge of her nose,
squeezing it lightly just to tease her. Nayeon tried to bite Jeongyeon's hand, but the goalkeeper was
quicker to dodge. "You could move in with me if you want." She quietly added, looking back to
the TV and trying to make it sound casual.

That had been a lingering thought in the back of her mind for a very long time, but all Nayeon did
was giggle and mutter something that sounded a lot like a "you're cute". Then she actually laughed
and chose to ignore the movie altogether. Climbed on top of Jeongyeon to sit on her lap, straddling
her and placing her hands on each of her shoulders.

"What?" Jeongyeon asked when she noticed Nayeon was looking at her funny. "It's something
we've always wanted and I'm sure Momo won't mind."

"You know we're not exactly dating yet, right? I mean, we are, but we're not- you know. What I
mean is that I thought we were taking things slow." Although both statements were true, Jeongyeon
still caught a hint of humor in Nayeon's voice.

"Well, I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm just saying we could be roommates." Jeongyeon poked
Nayeon's ribs, drawing some more giggles out of her.

"Last I checked your apartment had only two bedrooms." Nayeon sounded amused.

"So what?" Jeongyeon didn't see the problem, kept poking at Nayeon's sides.

"So you're proposing that we become a couple of roommates who share the same warm bed at
night and also make out once in a while?" Nayeon tried to get a hold of Jeongyeon's hands to stop
her attacks, but to no avail. "You're just describing Sana and Mina at this point."

"Oh no, please don't compare us to that mess they have going on." Jeongyeon rolled her eyes in jest
following Nayeon's cheerful mood, but quit poking her sides when Nayeon groaned in frustration.
She wrapped her in her arms instead and brought Nayeon closer so she could tuck her face into her
neck. "But I meant it, Nayeon. If you really want to get out of here, we could live together. It's no
big deal."

"We could, but I don't think we should." Nayeon sighed contentedly and closed her eyes as she felt
one of Jeongyeon's hands drawing patterns on her back. "I really want to move in with you
someday, but I don't think this is the right time for it."

"Why?"

"Because if I were to move in right now, I'd feel like we're doing this out of convenience. Besides,
if for some reason things ended up not working out between us-"
"We'll always be friends." Jeongyeon didn't even hesitate. "She's not right, you know that, don't
you? You will always have us."

"I know." Nayeon nodded against her chest and the crown of her head bumped lightly against
Jeongyeon's jaw. "But you do understand how messy this could get if we end up rushing things,
don't you? I know you mean well, but I think I still have to learn how to be on my own for now. I
mean, I was doing pretty well here, but I have a feeling that once I leave this place I'm going to do
even better. Maybe I can get an actual roommate instead of a potential girlfriend, who knows."

"Alright then." Jeongyeon conceded with a sigh even though she didn't like the idea of Nayeon
living with a stranger or even worse, on her own. She knew it was stupid, but suddenly she felt like
her ex-girlfriend hadn't been doing it for months. But to be honest, Jeongyeon was well aware of
the reason behind that new bad feeling. Still, she placed a kiss on Nayeon's temple and sincerely
added. "I'm proud of you."

Both for drawing that line and not doing something that would make her uneasy just because she
was asked and also for telling the truth, but Jeongyeon didn't have to elaborate because Nayeon
already knew that.

"Thanks." Nayeon's eyes were still closed and in all honesty she was ready to fall asleep right there,
but she still wanted to know something before dozing off. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"What did she say that got you so mad?" Nayeon didn't have to go into detail for Jeongyeon to
know exactly what she was talking about.

"Didn't you hear?"

"Just the ending, really." Nayeon opened her eyes and pulled away a little to look at her. "By the
way, you're pretty hot when you're mad." Jeongyeon chuckled and squeezed Nayeon's waist in a
half heartedly attempt to scold her, but she still pulled Nayeon back to her chest so that she
wouldn't see the smile on her face.

"Well, I believe you mom doesn't think I'm good for you." She explained once Nayeon had
stopped teasing her. "Nor does she think you should be with me after everything, by the looks of
it."

"Good." Nayeon tilted her head to briefly peck at Jeongyeon's lips before returning to her previous
position. "Then you're perfect."

Jeongyeon had a joke dancing on the tip of her tongue, ready to ask Nayeon if she was with her just
because she was having a late teenage rebellion phase. She wanted to say it and ease up the mood a
little bit, but she couldn't bring herself to put it out there. That moment was the opening she had
been waiting for, and as much as she didn't like the feeling that topic carried, she still needed to
face it in order to get that bad feeling out of her chest. So she set the playfulness aside to dive into
yet another serious conversation.

"She also said something else that set me off." Jeongyeon felt her throat tightening and her heart
beating so fast it could burst out of her chest at any given moment, but she couldn't back off. She
promised Nayeon that she wouldn't let her doubts consume her anymore, so that was something she
needed to know.

"What was it?" She coaxed as she stroked Jeongyeon's cheek, now sporting a worried look on her
face.

"Have you ever..." Jeongyeon squeezed her eyes shut for a second, frustrated at herself for finding
it so difficult to ask. Her voice was shaky and she was sure Nayeon had caught on already, but
failing to get it out she chose to take a different approach. "She asked me where I was when you
barely wanted to live. She said I wasn't there for you when you wanted to give up and- fuck, it
really got to me. I don't know is she's lying but now I can't get it out of my head."

Jeongyeon managed to get it out but involuntarily tightened her grip around Nayeon, feeling her
own body tense up when she didn't respond right away. But then Nayeon started to move and
Jeongyeon grew even more worried, but she felt better when she realized that Nayeon wasn't going
anywhere. She just got off to sit down by her side.

"Did she-" Nayeon didn't look at Jeongyeon, she just shook her head and ran a hand through her
hair, looking restless and frustrated. She scoffed too, then laughed a little but there was no real
humor at all. She seemed genuinely surprised and pissed off at the same time. "Holy shit, I didn't
think she'd go so fucking low, but jokes on me for letting myself believe she had any good bones in
her body."

"So she was lying, right?" Jeongyeon tilted her head searching her eyes, hope didn't go unnoticed in
her tone. But when Nayeon looked away again Jeongyeon felt her stomach drop as the worst kind
of chill ran through her body again.

So it was true, she ascertained by herself. When Nayeon claimed it was a low blow, Jeongyeon let
herself believe Haengja she was lying. She took comfort in it, actually. Until Nayeon hesitated.

"Look, it wasn't- it wasn't exactly like that." Nayeon stammered, her voice didn't sound as sure as
before and Jeongyeon just wanted to inch closer. She wanted to hold Nayeon again, hide her face in
her neck and lose herself in her scent; stay there until she forgot about everything and everyone
else, but could she even hold her hand at the very least? Anything would be nice but Nayeon was
the one who pulled away, so she needed to respect the distance she put between them. "There was a
time where I- it was- fuck. It was a bad day, you know. Bad days, I mean- but it was a mistake. A
slip which even though she promised me she wouldn't tell anyone, she apparently will never let me
live it down." Nayeon confessed and finally looked at Jeongyeon again. "I wasn't doing so well,
Jeong. I've told you all about it. I wasn't in a good place, both physically and mentally. Right after
the first surgery went wrong. So... I might have told her I just wanted it all to be over already. I said
it and back then I thought I meant it. I wanted to sign a DNR, but she wouldn't let me."

"She... didn't lie." It was a statement now, not a question. It slipped from her lips as if she needed to
say it out loud to believe it.

Nevertheless, Nayeon shook her head and released a long, defeated sigh. "No, she didn't."

Nayeon was still watching her closely and carefully, and Jeongyeon tried to keep the conversation
going even with all her remaining pangs of hurt.

"Fuck." Jeongyeon cussed under her breath. "So she was right, you were hurting that badly and I
wasn't there because-"

"Because I didn't give you that choice, Jeongyeon. That's why." Nayeon reached for her hand, but
Jeongyeon couldn't even hold it like she wanted to just moments ago. "Look at me, please?"

Only then did Jeongyeon realize that she had closed her eyes. Tightly shut, but the unwanted tears
were streaming down her face anyway.
"I promise you that's water under the bridge now. I'm not proud of it and now I know for sure that
it wasn't something I really wanted. I don't think I'd have signed it even if she had let me, alright? It
was just a true moment of hopeless desperation. Besides, in the end it wouldn't have mattered
anyway because the second surgery was fine and it all worked out."

Jeongyeon knew Nayeon had the best of intentions, but hearing all that was still jarring. Not that
she was trying to make it about her by any means, but somewhere deep inside the caverns of
Jeongyeon's heart something was really wrong. It physically hurt like a freshly opened wound and
she couldn't help but feel even more guilty too. Because if this feeling she's enduring right now it's
already bad enough, she couldn't even begin to imagine the pain Nayeon must have felt back then;
how the hell did she managed to go through all of this all by herself?? Or worse, how did she
handle it while still dealing with that loathsome woman who poses as her mother on top of that??

"Do you have any idea how many times she has rubbed it in my face? How many times has she
played that card claiming that she saved my life in more ways than one when she was the main
culprit in making my living even worse?" Nayeon kept going as if she had read her thoughts. "But
still, I never wanted to- I never wanted to die, Jeongyeon. I just... for a while I let myself think that
would be easier if I stopped fighting, that's all. I was so, so tired. I was in pain and I was hurting
too. I was already feeling like I wasn't gonna make it, so I just wanted to stop feeling that way
altogether."

Jeongyeon didn't say anything at first, she hadn't even opened her eyes yet, but at some point her
hand found Nayeon's along the way and they were tightly clasped together. She was gripping so
hard that when she finally realized it, she had loose it a little so as not to hurt her.

"I'm really, really sorry that it got that bad." She put her reservations aside and pulled Nayeon
closer once again, hugging her tightly and resting her chin on her shoulder. "If I had known it
earlier- if- if I had tried harder- you wouldn't have had to go through all this alone. I could have
been there for you and-"

"Hey, don't do this. It’s not your fault, we've been over this."

"Then why do I feel like it's my responsibility??" She blurted out mid-sob.

"Because that's who you are, Jeongyeon, but I'm not your burden to take."

"What? No, you were never a burden to me!" Jeongyeon pulled away to look at her like she
couldn't believe what she just heard.

"I was, though. Ever since the beginning. With all the problems with my family and all that stuff.
Gosh, I was always the one who was hurting and you're always picking up my pieces."

"Because I loved you, Nayeon! That's what you supposed to do with the people you love, you take
care of them!"

"Jeongyeon, I just keep taking and taking without giving anything back-"

"That's not- that's not true at all." She managed to blurt it out even though she was weeping. "You
gave me so much love- so- so much love. I just wish mine had been enough."

"It was, that's not the point at all!" Nayeon cupped Jeongyeon's face and looked deep into her to
make sure she knew she meant it. "Don't you think for a second that you had anything to do with
that." Nayeon pulled her back to her and let Jeongyeon sob into her shoulder. "I'm really sorry for
making you think that, but that's not what happened at all."
"What happened, then?" Jeongyeon tried once again. She had to reluctantly lean back again to look
at her.

"Listen, I don't wanna hurt you any more than I already have, so I mean it in the nicest way
possible when I say that you couldn't have helped me. Not the way I needed, at least. You couldn't,
like, fix me. And that's okay because that's not your job." Nayeon held both of her hands between
hers. Stared at their entwined fingers as she spoke. "I was… troubled for the longest time. I felt lost
but all of that showed me that I had things to sort out with myself. I still do, you know I'm still
working on it, but now I've been getting the help I need and I do feel better. I feel good about
myself, about my life and about my choices. That's what really matters, isn't it? Making progress?
Doing better? So as hard as it all was, I still like to believe that everything happened exactly the
way it was supposed to. I've already made my peace with that and I really want you to be okay with
it as well."

Well damn, Jeongyeon could write a whole essay about this whole thing. About how much she
hated it and about in how many levels it felt wrong to her. Fuck, she wasn't wrong for feeling that
way, was she? For wishing things could be different, for wishing she could be by Nayeon's side
back then.

But still, she knew she really needed to try harder to understand Nayeon's side. Maybe give it a few
weeks and address the matter when she's calmer, she might have a different take on it in a week or
two. What mattered the most now was Nayeon was fine. And she was fine too, so they were gonna
be okay as well.

"You promise me you're okay?" She asked just to be sure. She brought a hand to Nayeon's face,
stroking her cheek as tenderly as she could.

"I am." She nodded. "And you will be the first to know if anything changes."

Jeongyeon wiped her own tears and yet again pulled Nayeon closer. After a while they were
getting cozy again. Nayeon was lying flat against the couch and Jeongyeon was on top of her now,
her head resting on Nayeon's chest while the TV was still playing.

"Since we're being honest now I have something else to tell you." Jeongyeon said after the spirits
had calmed down a bit. She wanted to lighten up the mood since she felt responsible for bringing it
down.

"Go ahead."

"Don't ask me how I know this but I'm pretty sure Sana and Mina were getting dirty in this
apartament. In your bathtub, if I'm not mistaken."

"For fuck's sake, that's literally the only thing I asked Sana not to do!" Nayeon shrieked, already
planning Sana's funeral. "At least I'm getting out of this place soon enough."

After Jeongyeon's laughter died down they didn't talk more that night, but it didn't mean that
Jeongyeon didn't keep thinking. About everything, from the past to their future. She lay awake
listening to Nayeon's heartbeats with her head aching, heart full and mind racing until long after her
ex-girlfriend had fallen asleep.

Jeongyeon prayed that one day she would find that peace Nayeon was talking about. To accept
everything that happened, to believe that it was all for the best. She hoped one day she could look
back and see it as a life lesson or maybe just an obstacle in the way of their happy ending. She
hoped that the guilt would go away eventually, hoped her mind and her heart would stop fighting
 and hoped one day she could be better too.

So yes, maybe one day she would make peace with it all. Maybe one day she would accept it and
feel better about herself. Maybe someday, she thought as she sought comfort in the warmth of the
girl she loved, but that day definitely was not today.

Chapter End Notes

i tried not to dwell on it too much because this chapter was getting heavy enough but
since i'm a big advocate of the love can't cure a mental illness trope i hope you got the
point. real problems for real people, you see (or real problems for my fictional
characters, i mean). and there was fluff too, as i promised!!! and there's more yet to
come. but i bet those who complained about 2yeon not communicating enough are
almost begging them to shut up by now, huh? i told you there would be a lot of talking
lol

anyways, we have two more to go and the next one is a m rated so hang in there until
next week
 now you gotta kiss it better
Chapter Summary

Everything they had been doing for the last few days, from meeting between classes
for a quick coffee date, to going late night driving around the city so they could relive
the old times. From walking hand to hand to practice in the morning, to going back to
one of their places at the end of the day and flopping down on the bed pretending to
watch a movie while they actually made out. Every single thing about that new routine
of theirs sent untamed butterflies flying all over Jeongyeon's stomach.

Chapter Notes

this may or may not have been inspired by moonbyul's song shutdown. ngl i could tag
this one as porn with feelings but since i can't tag a single chapter you are hereby
warned about its tenor

if you don't feel comfortable with this kind of stuff you can just stop after the first
scene. i did my best not to add anything too relevant to the plot but the ending is nice

btw, my beta reader is kind of sick so she didn't read this chapter yet which is good
(not the fact that she's sick, but the fact that she didn't read it yet!!) because she's my
friend and every time she reads smut written by me i feel like unaliving myself but
ANYWAYS what i'm trying to say is that there may be errors, bye.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"I just think it's funny how you call me up to carry heavy boxes, but I didn't get a single invitation
to hang out in your fancy condo."

"Momo, we've been over this already!!" Nayeon grumbled in response. "I've always liked your
place better than mine anyway."

"Everyone but me, Nayeon! Everyone!"

"But it wasn't intentional! They just needed to be there for different reasons at some point while
whenever we hung out I always ended up at your place."

"Everyone!!!"

Nayeon moved out of her parent's place a week later. She rented a loft in the apartment building
right next to the place Sana shared with Mina, under the latter's recommendation. It was nothing
remotely as cool as the condo she lived in before. Far from it, actually.

They practically put together an entourage to help her with the move because her new place needed
all hands on deck for the cleaning session to make it habitable. The loft had been empty for over a
year and the amount of dust they were met with was no good for Nayeon's rhinitis. The cleaning
alone lasted pretty much the whole morning, and by the time they finally finished taking all the
boxes upstairs night was already falling. The group was now slumped around all over the floor, all
of them sweaty and catching a break after their very last trip to Nayeon's truck.

"Dinner's on me." Nayeon said, though she didn't move a muscle.

"You damn right it is." Sana shot back, still panting. "I'm not working on my day off for free."

"I'd cook, but the kitchen isn't exactly... usable yet." Jeongyeon glanced at boxes sitting over the
kitchen island.

"It's okay, babe, you've already done enough today." Nayeon reached for Jeongyeon's hand, who
was lying right next to her.

Hearing Nayeon calling her that in public made Jeongyeon blush, but she smiled nevertheless. Not
that she minded - actually, she really loved it. She just wasn't used to them being affectionate in
front of their friends after all this time, but it was growing on her and she wasn't against it at all.

"Pizza or Japanese?" Jihyo prompted.

"Pizza." Tzuyu quickly replied.

"We could try that new Thai place that just opened around the corner." Mina suggested.

"Pizza."

"Japanese is better." Dahyun tried.

"Yeah, I bet you do like what Japan has to offer." Chaeyoung wiggled her eyebrows and earned the
kick she got from Dahyun.

"Pizza."

"I vote for Thai." Momo chimed in.

"Pizza."

"Tzuyu, I swear to God-" Sana sat down ready to throw something at the young striker, but the
hostess interrupted their little affray.

"If Tzuyu wants pizza, she gets pizza. Actually, order all three of them, let's not fight about it."
Nayeon tried to move, but her body was really sore now that she had cooled down, so she gave up
halfway. All she did was wave her whole arm towards the other side. "My wallet is somewhere
over there, can somebody please get my card?"

"I've got it." Mina reached for the card and the car keys. "I'll go get it, it'll be faster than waiting
for all three deliveries."

The kids were about to tag along but Chaeyoung stopped in tracks before leaving the apartment.

"Nayeon, no offense, I'm sure we'll make this place feel more like a home eventually..."
Chaeyoung chimed in as she looked around at the mess around them. "But if you're so loaded then
why the hell would you choose to live in this shoebox?"

"Chaeng." Tzuyu rebuked, but Nayeon laughed out loud and so did the rest of them.
"Because I'm trying to be more... let's say self-sufficient. Technically, it's not my money, so..." She
shrugged.

"Yet. It's just an inheritance advance." Sana teased, eliciting some laughter and a few scolding
glances.

"But you're spending it." Chaeyoung held the credit card she had just gotten from Mina.

"Look, it's a process. My dad's loaded and I'm not an idiot. I'm not going to stop spending his
money altogether. Especially when it comes to treating my friends." She elaborated, drawing
pleased murmurs of understanding.

"Alright, I'm surely not complaining." Chaeyoung added goodnaturedly.

Jeongyeon and Jihyo were familiar with it already. They both knew how unwilling Nayeon was
about using her mother's resources, but in contrast, up until recently she hadn't shown any
reservations about spending her father's wealth. That's because in Nayeon's eyes, her dad never had
the nasty ulterior motives her mother had, he never tried to buy her off or anything of the sort. He
only financially compensated her for how emotionally distant he was. And to be honest, after all
those years, that was more than fine with her.

Still, she didn't want to live like that forever, so that's why she decided that now would be a good
time to start with small steps. She had discussed it with her best friends and she was feeling pretty
confident about her decision.

She also brought up the matter with her grandmother, who at first wasn't very pleased about it. She
said Nayeon needed to focus on her studies and assured her that she would take care of her
expenses herself if the problem was that she didn't want to rely on her father anymore, but Nayeon
politely declined. She argued that she needed to start somehow and the timing was perfect since
she would be graduating in a couple of years and soon enough be out there in the real world.
Laboriously, her grandma finally relented, but only after she managed to convince Nayeon to let
her cover her first few months of rent, as well as making her granddaughter repeatedly promise that
she would let her know if she needed any help.

"But I chose this place because that's what I can afford for now since I'm going to try to live on my
own." She patiently went on. "My internship doesn't pay much but if I can get a part-time job, I'll
be able to cover rent and the other expenses as well." Nayeon sheepishly added. Looked away and
shrugged. "I know it sounds silly, but I wanna give it a try at least."

"It's not silly at all." Sana nudged her with her foot in her odd way of showing support. The two of
them shared a wordless conversation and Nayeon smiled at her, feeling genuinely happy about this
new phase in her life. Even more when Sana added. "And I'm proud of you."

"Sana, didn't you say they were hiring at your job after you got promoted?" Momo interrupted their
moment, blinking as if she was trying to remember Sana's exact words.

"What? No! I didn't say that. You're delusional, shut up." Sana frowned and launched forward to
try to cover her best friend's mouth as Momo tried to push her away.

"I'm pretty sure you mentioned something like that." Mina softly remarked, leaning against the
front door.

"Nope, I didn't. You must have dreamed it, princess. Weren't you on your way to get us food? I'm
starving."
"How do I get a 'you're delusional, shut up' while Mina get's a 'you must have dreamed it, princess'
when we both said the exact same thing?" Once Sana got off her, Momo muttered under her breath,
but Jeongyeon heard it anyway. The goalkeeper cast her a knowing look that meant you know why.

Eventually, the kids were off to get the food since all the mentioned places were relatively nearby,
also escorted by Mina as their "supervisor" and designated driver. Meanwhile, Sana pulled the rest
of her friends into the small couch and stood in front of them to make an announcement.

"You know what?" Momo spoke up before Sana could begin. "If you moved into our apartment
it'd be even better because not only you'd be closer to uni, but we'd split the rent in three." She
lightly suggested, nudging Nayeon and batting her lashes as if that would be enough to convince
her.

"You're late. I've tried it and she's already turned my offer down." Jeongyeon played along, pouting
and squeezing Nayeon's hand a little tighter.

"Or you could, I don't know, get a room for free." Jihyo also tried, attempting to sound casual but
failing miserably. "Like maybe the Beach House-"

"Nope, not in a million years." Nayeon didn't even let her finish. Jihyo rolled her eyes and snorted,
muttering something about needing new friends while the rest of them laughed. Jihyo had been
trying to persuade one of them into moving in since the previous year, but no one but the captain
was willing to deal with all that chaos.

Once the laughter subsided, Sana loudly cleared her throat getting everyone's attention.

"Since we're all here..." She started, trying to keep her voice steady.

"We're not all here-" Momo frowned and mumbled, but she was quickly cut off by her friend.

"Shut up, I need to say something before I regret it."

Nayeon and Jeongyeon shared a brief glance asking each other what was going on, but since
neither of them knew they just turned back to Sana.

"What gives?" Nayeon prompted.

"I like Mina." Sana blurted out and watched four pairs of eyes blankly staring at her.

She waited, but they also looked like they were waiting for her to continue.

"Mina. I said I like Mina. The Myoui one. Our friend. My roommate. Mina." She drawled like she
had to explain what she just said. But then again, nothing. Nothing but silence. So she cast them an
aggravated look that finally prompted some reaction.

"Okay?" Jeongyeon was the first to speak up. Quite slow and a little uncertain, but she supposed
that was better than nothing.

"I mean, I thought we were over the acceptance phase already. But yeah, good for you, Sana."
Nayeon added as she leaned closer to Jeongyeon.

"About time, I guess." Jihyo also mused aloud. Even got up and patted Sana's back.

"Alright, but do you have any news or…?" Momo, on the other hand, didn't even try to be subtle.

"I just told you guys that I'm in love with Mina and I want to confess and yet that's what I get?" She
placed her hands on her waist, looking annoyed.

"Hold on, you're going to confess???" Momo's eyebrows shot up her hairline, disappearing under
her bangs. "Fuck yeah, now we're talking!" She pulled Sana into a side hug, but she fled from her
arms.

"Really?? That's all? No surprise or anything? Are you serious?"

"We're not stupid, Sana. We knew." Jeongyeon quipped.

"Wait, didn't you say only found out because Nayeon told you-" Momo pointed out but she was
hushed when Jeongyeon slipped an arm over her shoulders in a fake hug just so she could place a
hand over her mouth.

"But as Nayeon and Jihyo said, good for you. It's about time anyway." Jeongyeon added as if
nothing had happened.

"Why's everyone trying to silence me today?? That's homophobia!" Momo murmured against
Jeongyeon's hand, but it came out so muffled that no one understood a word.

"Anyway," Nayeon went on, ignoring the little feud between Momo and her ex-girlfriend. "But are
you telling us this just because you wanted to get it off your chest, or because you need some help?
Maybe a little pep talk or somesuch?"

"Actually, I'm just bringing this up to let you know that you're bound to move in with me in case
things get weird and Mina wants to move out. So if I were you I wouldn't get too comfortable here
for the time being, alright?"

"Why do you always have to be so pessimistic?" Momo tried to speak again but Jeongyeon's hand
was still over her mouth, which she only let go after Momo repeatedly tried to bite her.

"Ew!" Jeongyeon grumbled out loud, pushing her away.

"But hey, if you need help you can count on us. You know that, right?" Jihyo beamed and Sana
offered her a tight-lipped smile in response.

Meanwhile, in the background, Jeongyeon repeatedly wiped her hand on her shirt after being
freshly licked by Momo. Nayeon, right behind them, was laughing so hard she almost forgot that
there was something actually serious going on right now. Watching that scene unfold, Sana
wondered why the hell did she choose those crackheads to open up to, but then she remembered as
another thought crossed her mind.

"Well, actually, there is one thing..."

"What happened??" Nayeon inquired, frowning deeply and speaking loudly.

"I got caught in the rain." Jeongyeon sheepishly answered, slightly shrugging.

"Oh really, Sherlock? I can see that! Come inside!"

"Can you get me a towel? I don't wanna get your floor wet- ah, okay." Jeongyeon's sentence was
cut short when Nayeon unceremoniously pulled her into the apartment. Then there she was, stuck
trying hard to stay as still as possible not to get anything wet. The goalkeeper managed to keep her
hair safe because of her hoodie, but her sweatshirt and leggings shorts didn't have the same luck.

"Would you mind elaborating a bit?" Nayeon pressed once she returned to the front door with a few
towels. A bit calmer and yet wry. She handed one over to her ex-girlfriend and placed another one
at an arm's length in case it was needed. She also helped her take off her backpack, as well as her
soaked coat while Jeongyeon did her best not to step out of the doormat.

"Funny story." She forced out a chuckle as she took off her soaked sneakers and damp socks. "I
was hanging out with Jihyo at Beach House, you know, but Sejeong came over to surprise her and
I thought I'd better leave because it's kind of their monthiversary or something like that? I'm not
sure, but I figured I should give them some privacy. I'm pretty sure Sejeong planned out a whole
date for them though. Anyway, it started to rain on my way home and of course I didn't have an
umbrella on me because why the hell is it raining mid-september?? So I came over to your place
because it was closer than going back home, so that's it."

"First, I haven't caught on the funny part yet. And second, why didn't you wait for the rain to let
up?" Nayeon dug some textbooks out of Jeongyeon's backpack to make sure they wouldn't get wet.
She placed them on the table with the rest of her things, also hung her coat on a chair so it could
dry. "Or you could have waited somewhere safe and called me. I could've picked you up."

"The funny part is that I- uh, I guess I miscalculated? I figured if I ran I'd get less wet, but
apparently that's not as effective as I thought. But I was like- two minutes away or so, so it's not a
big deal."

"For someone who claims to be so smart, you really do make some pretty dumb choices
sometimes, Yoo." Nayeon walked back to the front door where a shaking Jeongyeon was wrapped
up in a towel just so she could flicker her forehead.

"Tell me about it." Jeongyeon didn't even try to dodge. She brightly beamed at her though, offering
the kind of smile she always used whenever she was trying to get out of trouble.

"You're lucky you're cute." Nayeon shook her head and bit back a smile. Then she guided her ex-
girlfriend around the loft with a firm hand pressed on her back and all but shoved her into the
bathroom. "Now go take a hot shower. I'll get you some spare clothes."

A few minutes later Jeongyeon came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of Nayeon's silk navy-blue
pajamas. A button-up shirt and nice shorts. Smooth, comfortable and way too fancy in Jeongyeon's
opinion. Which was funny, because Nayeon herself was wearing sweatshorts and a long-worn t-
shirt. Jeongyeon was pretty sure she had spotted at least a small hole in that beaten up shirt which
also sported the logo of a band that neither of them were familiar with.

Jeongyeon strolled over to the bed and flopped down, as per usual. Silently watched Nayeon
browse from side to side as she neatly stowed the goalkeeper's belongings at the other end of the
loft. Somehow, it brought a funny feeling deep in Jeongyeon's gut. She couldn't help but notice
how much more at ease Nayeon looked. Happier, even, since she had moved in. It hadn't been that
long, but the differences were crystal clear. The shift in her mood and in her whole aura as well.
Nayeon was practically glowing. Visibly more comfortable and she seemed to be making all that
progress she was talking about.

Jeongyeon had been spending a lot of time in that apartment as well. Almost enough to call it
home, if she was being honest. Nayeon had even suggested she should get a drawer of her own, but
she chose to turn the offer down for the time being. She didn't want to push it since it was only
Nayeon's very first month at her new place, but she also couldn't deny that everything about it felt
awfully domestic.
Everything they had been doing for the last few days, from meeting between classes for a quick
coffee date, to going late night driving around the city so they could relive the old times. From
walking hand to hand to practice in the morning, to going back to one of their places at the end of
the day and flopping down on the bed pretending to watch a movie while they actually made out.
Every single thing about that new routine of theirs sent untamed butterflies flying all over
Jeongyeon's stomach.

Nayeon's new place wasn't particularly large. In fact, Jeongyeon could see its entire length from
where she laid on the bed. They had done a pretty good job with the decoration and now it looked
way more cozy than they thought it would. It was pretty basic, in all honesty, with houseplants and
fairy lights although Nayeon adamantly passed on the live, laugh and love motifs Sana had
derisively suggested.

She didn't have much stuff, but the space was wisely utilized so it wouldn't feel too empty - thank
Momo and Mina for that. The bed was set on the corner, in the far end away from the door. There
was a small couch in the middle. Tiny, but comfy, nonetheless. There was also an old carpet and an
armchair that came straight out of the Beach House - don't ask Jihyo how she got it, she won't tell
you - to add the finishing touches to what they called the living room. Since it's a pre-furnished, the
heavy stuff like cabinets, fridge and wardrobe were already there, but they had upgraded the
movables with a table and four chairs, besides the TV hung up on the wall and the nightstand
which were all housewarming gifts from Nayeon's grandma.

The door leading to the bathroom was right next to the wardrobe, and the kitchen, which merely
consisted of the stove and the fridge as appliances, was in the corner just behind the front door. In
all fairness, Nayeon had taken all the kitchenware from her old place, but it wasn't like her dad was
going to notice, let alone protest about it. By the way, Nayeon didn't even have a microwave yet,
she said she wanted it to be her first appliance purchase and Jeongyeon never heard her complain
once. In fact, Nayeon hadn't been complaining about anything lately- well, except when Jeongyeon
made poor decisions, like today.

"I swear to God, if you get sick because of this…" She scolded her even though she didn't mean it.
"The semi-final is in two days, I know we have the upper hand, but we can't afford to mess
around."

Out of laziness she didn't move to get a pillow, but she propped both hands behind her head so she
could follow Nayeon browsing around the kitchen with her eyes. "Nayeonie, it was just five
minutes of rain. I'm sure I'm gonna be fine."

"I thought you said two minutes." She stood on her tiptoes to reach for something in the cabinet.
When she finally found the kettle, she filled it up with water and placed it over the stove. "I bet
we'll reach ten minutes next, right?"

"Uh, you got me there." Jeongyeon's tone was amused, like she was having the time of her life. She
knew Nayeon was rolling her eyes even though she was facing her back. "I may have been a little
bit further away when the storm broke out. But it was five minutes tops, I promise."

"You're unbelievable." Nayeon sighed.

"I'll take that as a compliment." Jeongyeon grinned from ear to ear. Then she asked even though
she already knew the answer to that. "Sooo, are you too mad to cuddle or can I spend the night
over?"

Just as she closed her mouth a lightning flashed outside, brightening the apartment even more.
Jeongyeon looked up and felt like the main bulb was a little dim, so she made a mental note to get
Nayeon a new lamp. Yep, they still had a lot of fixing to do in that place, Jeongyeon thought but
before she could mention it, a loud thunder also echoed outside.

"Of course you can stay. The weather's terrible, you're not going anywhere." Jeongyeon didn't miss
the way Nayeon flinched upon hearing all of that noise, so she stood up to close the curtains and
started to make her way toward the kitchen in short strides.

"Right, but are you letting me stay out of the goodness of your heart or are you afraid to be all
alone in here, huh?" Jeongyeon's voice was laced with teasing as she slowly crept closer.

"Well, if you keep this up I guess I'll withdraw my offer." Nayeon still had her back to her, but she
bit the inside of her cheek to keep Jeongyeon from catching her in her bluff.

Jeongyeon comically gasped as she finally reached the other girl. Standing behind her, her hand
slid on either side of Nayeon's waist, hugging her loosely and complaining dramatically by her ear.
"Would you really do that to me? Kick me out in the dark? In the rain? All by myself and in this
cute little outfit to top it off??"

"Hey, the clothes are cool!" Nayeon objected, not pleased with Jeongyeon making fun of her
perfect normal PJ's. It drew a belly laugh out of Jeongyeon and that's why Nayeon tried to flee her
arms. But she froze when she felt her ex-girlfriend's hands reaching under the hem of her shirt.
"Maybe I should kick you out. Go seek refuge with Sana and Mina next door, you can leave my
clothes and go if you don't like them."

"Look, if you wanna get me naked all you have to do is ask, you don't have to make a whole
scene." Jeongyeon kept playing around, but she also leaned closer and nosed Nayeon's neck as her
cold fingertips teased the warm skin of her abdomen.

"Jeongyeon." It was a warning. Nayeon shrugged to push her away as her fingers clenched against
the sink in front of her. A shiver ran down her spine, starting where Jeongyeon was touching her
neck and traveling all over her body. The sudden feeling prompted her to arch her back, but
Jeongyeon tightened her grip on her waist to keep her right there.

"You know what?" Jeongyeon kept going and Nayeon was still feeling her breath on her nape,
which was highly unsettling. "I think I might have been coming down with something after all."
Jeongyeon loosen the grip so she could turn Nayeon around. Now their hips were pressed together
and one of her hands was on the small of Nayeon's back while the other hand found the side of her
neck. "Now you gotta kiss it better."

She leaned in just enough for her lips to ghost over Nayeon's, leaving it to the other girl to give in
and close the distance between them, which she promptly did. Jeongyeon's eyes fluttered shut as
she felt her ex-girlfriend relaxing into her arms just how she liked it. They nudged their noses
together a couple of times but neither of them seemed to mind.

Nayeon nibbled at her bottom lip, asking for permission before letting her tongue delve inside her
mouth. It was the kind of kiss they had shared countless times before: slow, deep, and sweet. Like
it could go on for days - and it would, if it was up to them. The kind that Jeongyeon knew would
leave her longing for more as soon as it was over, but she didn't have it in herself to try to deepen it
or stop it, or do anything at all to try to get a hold of the tingling spark growing deep in the pit of
her stomach. She didn't because she knew what Nayeon was doing. She was taking her time and
she loved it.

"I missed you." Jeongyeon muttered between kisses, pulling away just enough for the words to be
heard. "That's why I came over."
Another thunder roared outside and it sounded even louder this time. Nayeon flinched again but
didn't stop kissing her, just clutched onto Jeongyeon's forearms a little tighter.

"And also because I know you hate those kinds of storms, so I figured you'd need a good
distraction." The kiss had been reduced to snuggles and pecks by now, but they were still long and
warm and welcoming.

Not that Nayeon didn't like the rain, quite the contrary. She loved it. She liked the smell after the
first rain, she liked watching the small drops pouring through the windows. She liked the drizzly
afternoons when she could spend hours in bed under the covers and she liked it even better when
she got to spend those rainy days with Jeongyeon. What she really did not enjoy was the
thunderstorms and the noises, and Jeongyeon was well aware of that.

"Like my personal jester?" Nayeon teased and looked up at her with an amused smile on her face.
She also slipped her hands down Jeongyeon's back, bringing their bodies closer together just like
they were before.

"Something like that." Jeongyeon could've taken the bite, played along and bickered a little, but
that's all she said because she had more pressing matters to attend to. Now that Nayeon was done
taking her time, it was her turn to pull her in for another kiss. But in her terms this time, what she
hoped would be enough to quench the apparently harmless ache that had been pulsing under her
skin.

Nayeon uttered a soft noise of surprise seeing how eager Jeongyeon was when one of her hands
went to cup her neck and the other one gripped hard on her waist. Her thumb was fondly caressing
her cheek and yet the kiss was rough and a little sloppy. It was also harsher and hungrier than the
last one. And look, she didn't mean it to escalate like that - she really, really didn't, she would pinky
promise if she had to - but the sudden desire washing over her was keeping her from thinking any
better.

Well, it wasn't like it's something random or out of the blue, much less unexpected, Jeongyeon had
always wanted Nayeon, it was no secret. She always wanted her in every possible sense of the
word- desired, craved, fancied her even. But still, she couldn't quite explain how she found herself
in that position.

Last thing she remembered she was right next to the stove, holding Nayeon close and kissing her
hard. But now she was pressing Nayeon against another piece of furniture somewhere as she kissed
her almost wildly. All while still wishing for her to be closer even though it wasn't physically
possible. Nayeon's hands were all over her as well and Jeongyeon just wanted more and more, she
wanted her so bad.

How did this happen? She had absolutely no idea, but she didn't want to stop either.

She had a hand on either side of Nayeon's face now, and her lips moved against hers as if it's her
only mission on earth. Nayeon kissed her back just as eagerly, lacing her fingers behind
Jeongyeon's back and holding onto her to keep her balance.

Nayeon was fairly positive that her legs would give in at any moment, so she was grateful when
she felt her hips bump against a surface behind her. Even more when Jeongyeon, with little to no
effort, lifted Nayeon up to sit her on what she assumed was the kitchen island.

Her mind shutdown altogether as her body became even more sensitive, she honestly wasn't sure
how she could be so out of it and so turned on at the same time. All Nayeon could focus on was the
luscious lips against hers, the strong hands gripping her waist and pulling her close, and the
addictive warmth exuding from the body between her legs.

Jeongyeon trailed kisses down her ex-girlfriend's jaw just as one of her hands darted out to probe
under Nayeon's t-shirt again. Jeongyeon kept leaving open mouthed kisses by her ear and down to
the base of her neck, forcing Nayeon to look up and jerk her head back.

But with all her senses heightened and overwhelmed, a new rush of courage hit Nayeon all of a
sudden. She climbed down from the kitchen island in one swift and frantic motion, surprising both
of them with how quickly and easily she changed their positions. She was the one pressing
Jeongyeon against the counter now as her unscrupulous hands roamed all over her body. They
probed over her shoulders, to her breasts and torso, before moving to her back. Nayeon was
painfully aware of everywhere they were pressed together, and she didn't miss the way Jeongyeon's
breath caught when she thrusted her hips forward.

That's when she thought it was perfect timing to run her short nails down and scratch the smooth
skin of her back. Jeongyeon gasped mid-kiss and shivered hard at the touch, eliciting a victorious
smirk out of Nayeon before she chased her mouth again, gripping hard at her ass to keep her still
and moving her hips once more to draw another groan from Jeongyeon.

But then an obnoxiously loud, unattractive and annoying noise caught both of their attention,
disrupting their moment and forcing Nayeon to step back and look away. The kettle was going off
on the stove behind them, bursting the little bubble they had unintentionally created.

Nayeon was pretty sure that not even the boiling water inside it was hotter than her own body right
now, but she still had to step back to turn it off and put some distance between them so she could
try and form some actually coherent thoughts.

"Tea or coffee?" She breathlessly asked, trying her best to seem unaffected.

"Uh? Oh, tea, please." Jeongyeon answered and cleared her throat when she realized that her voice
had cracked mid-sentence. She also pressed her legs together trying to get a fucking grip, but she
knew pretty well nothing would never be nearly as effective as Nayeon.

Either way, something had unquestionably changed. There was a shift in the air even though
neither of them understood the full extent of it yet.

Jeongyeon was panting and Nayeon was restless, but they tried to ignore it and play it cool.
Nayeon paced back and forth, opened the same drawer twice and didn't get anything out of it. She
was looking for the tea bags, Jeongyeon assumed. She would reach over and grab it for her since
she was the one who had put them away after they went grocery shopping the week before, but she
didn't do it because she wasn't sure if her knees were working properly.

At first she thought Nayeon was rattled because the rain was still pouring down heavily outside,
but then she finally found what she was looking for. Nayeon put the tea bags into the mugs and
placed them over the counter, kept her back to Jeongyeon and offered all her attention to the new
task. However, Jeongyeon caught the way her hand was slightly twitching as she filled the two
mugs with boiling water.

Nayeon was dressed in some pretty normal clothes, but only then did she got to take a good look at
her. Her shirt was so big it almost covered up the sweatshorts she was wearing, so she couldn't help
but stare because Nayeon had the most beautiful legs she had ever seen and Jeongyeon definitely
wasn't God's strongest soldier.

She let her eyes wander for a little longer, thinking about how nice it would be to touch the soft
skin of her thighs and feel the warmth which she knew for a fact had the potential to do irreparable
damage to her sanity. Not that Nayeon noticed any of this, of course, because her back was still
turned to her and she was busy looking at anywhere but her ex-girlfriend. But once Jeongyeon's
gaze drifted a little higher, she caught on the rise and fall of Nayeon's chest. How ragged it really
was and how hard she was trying to hide it. Like she was fighting a battle against herself and
apparently losing it by a long shot.

Jeongyeon also noticed that Nayeon's cheeks were a darker shade of pink that trailed all the way
down the length of her neck, disappearing inside the large collar of her oversized shirt. There,
Jeongyeon also noticed that the skin in question still carried some marks. Faint hickeys Jeongyeon
had given her a few days ago which were only now starting to fade. Yet, that lust she had tried and
failed to quench just moments ago was back now, stronger than ever. Prompting her to make a
move and renew every single one of these marks, urging her to leave new traces of her love all over
Nayeon's body.

Nayeon, on the other hand, was telling herself to calm the fuck down. She didn't know what got
into her, she was used to it already. She had lost count of how many hot make out sessions had
almost gotten out of hand in the last couple of weeks. Or rather, since she and Jeongyeon had been
having their little flings since last semester. But now they were trying something serious and they
had agreed to take things slow - whatever the hell that meant at that point. So Nayeon wasn't sure
if Jeongyeon was ready or even if she wanted to cross that line for now.

That's why up until then she had done a pretty good job at keeping it to herself. And yet now- right
now, at this very moment, all she knew was that she was feeling like a love drunk, touch-starved
madwoman - but that's just the effect Jeongyeon had on her.

Deep breaths, Nayeon. She told herself and focused on the task at hand hoping Jeongyeon wouldn't
notice how embarrassingly hot and bothered she was.

But suddenly her ex-girlfriend was way too close again. Jeongyeon's hand was over hers, guiding it
down until she placed the kettle back on the stove. Her body was ghosting hers from behind but
not quite touching her yet and that's so fucking excruciating. And while it was also terribly hot, it
was pretty nerve racking as well because she just wanted to be closer and closer, and- fuck.

Nayeon shuddered harder when Jeongyeon placed her other hand on her abdomen and even though
it was over her shirt the simple touch burned on her skin. The same hand pulled her back until their
bodies finally met and a sudden thrilling rush ran through her senses once she felt Jeongyeon's lips
ghosting the shell of her ear.

"Jeongyeon..." That's strike two. Her fingers closed around Jeongyeon's wrist. Don't tease me, she
wanted to say, but her words wouldn't come out. So she just closed her eyes and prevented that
hand from keeping playing with her feelings.

Jeongyeon pulled away just enough to turn her body around just like she had done earlier that
night. Painfully slow until their fronts were pressed together again but Nayeon couldn't look into
her eyes. Her gaze was fixed on one of the buttons of the pajamas, but then she felt a soft touch to
her chin. Jeongyeon's index finger tilted Nayeon's head up to induce eye contact at the very same
moment Jeongyeon traced an invisible line across her lower lip with her thumb. When Nayeon
finally met her ex-girlfriend's eyes again she caught the sight of something dark and all too
familiar.

Because she knew that posture, that attitude and that demeanor. Knew that glint in her eyes and her
ragged breath as well. Knew the strength of that touch and she knew the tilt of that head. She knew
the set of her jaw so she knew when Jeongyeon wanted her. And any further doubt she may have
had was thoroughly erased the moment Jeongyeon kissed again.

There was no teasing, no hesitation, no second guessing at all.

Besides knowing her ex-girlfriend like the back of her hand, Nayeon also knew her ways like no
one else. She knew her kisses, her caresses and her hugs too. She knew it all, she was pretty
familiar with all her quirks.

She knew when Jeongyeon was trying to tease her and also knew when she just needed some
attention. She knew when she wanted to spend their afternoons cuddling and also knew when
Jeongyeon needed those deep kisses followed by kneading hands touching all the right places to
take her breath away.

But this kiss? Yeah, she knew exactly what it meant.

It meant need and it also meant lust. It meant crave and the rawest urge to take. No regrets. No take
backs. And Nayeon wanted this just as much- if not more.

Nayeon had never wanted anyone this badly - as a matter of fact, she had never wanted anyone else
but Jeongyeon. But still, at this moment she had never wanted Jeongyeon as much as she did right
now.

There were flames under her skin and although she had felt them countless times before, they had
never been as intense and as unrelenting as they were now. They were about to burn away any
restraint and all sense of sanity she might still have until there was nothing left but ashes. It's
consuming her from inside out and she was just too fucking turned on to fight it any longer.

Nayeon's hands closed into fists holding hard onto Jeongyeon's silk shirt and her grip was so tight
that she could've tore it apart. The kiss was so hot and passionate, so deep and hungry that Nayeon
felt her own body unwittingly arching backwards, but that's okay because the steady hands on her
back kept her safe and close.

There was barely any distance between them, but it didn't stop Nayeon from groping the front of
Jeongyeon's now crumpled clothes, blindly searching for the buttons and clumsily undoing each
one of them. She may have ripped one or two in the process, but when she finally reached the last
one the heat radiating from Jeongyeon's body was too throbbing and too fucking addictive for her
to care.

In her urge to touch her she aggressively pushed the shirt off her shoulders without a second
thought, making it fall to the floor only to stepped on and run over as Jeongyeon started walking,
bypassing whatever piece of furniture they had bumped into along the way to lead them toward the
bed that for some fucked up reason seemed to be miles away.

Neither of them were particularly conscious of the space, but at some point the back of Nayeon's
knees touched the bed and they both fell onto the mattress altogether. The girl underneath let the
first whimper escape out of her lips as she awkwardly moved to make room for Jeongyeon, whose
hands were already pulling up Nayeon's shirt. Scratching lightly at her stomach and making
Nayeon groan even louder against her mouth.

Honestly, that was all Nayeon needed to close her eyes, lay back and let Jeongyeon have her way
with her, but the other girl evidently had other plans. That's why she gently tugged at Nayeon's t-
shirt, two times like it was a code and then she knew exactly what she had to do. She sat down just
enough to get a hold of her shirt and pull it over her head while Jeongyeon used the time to strip
Nayeon off her sweatshorts as well. Teamwork makes the dream work, she mused and smiled to
herself.

Nayeon wasn't wearing a bra and Jeongyeon grew wetter once she noticed - even more when she
realized that she was now straddling the girl she had been craving for so long while she wore
nothing but panties. She felt like she was dreaming as she appreciated the view below her, but then
her heart also skipped a beat for a reason different than the usual.

Nayeon was just as breathtaking as she recalled. Just as beautiful, just as hot, she couldn't have
asked for a better partner. Just as she had dreamed of so many times against her will, just as she had
fantasized about in her weakest moments. Everything was exactly as she had etched in the back of
her mind, except that now Nayeon had a scar which Jeongyeon had never seen before. A pinkish,
apparently dainty mark starting just below her throat and going all the way down, fading in the
valley between her breasts.

She didn't mean to stare, but her eyes lingered anyway. Spent a few baffling seconds watching it as
another flood of realization hit her. A sudden reminder that Nayeon really was sick, that she has
been through a lot and that she almost lost her more than once. And also that Jeongyeon wasn't
there for her when she needed the most and that she probably would never be able to make up for
that. But that awareness also came with the not that new reminder that she would do anything-
anything at all to keep Nayeon safe. To keep her healthy and keep her happy above all else. So
that's exactly what she was going to do.

Nayeon, however, had completely forgotten about it up until now. If she's being honest, for the
past year she tried not to give it much thought. She couldn't lie and say it didn't bother her - it did, a
lot more than she liked to admit. She was pretty sure she would never get used to seeing herself in
the mirror, she couldn't even look at it for too long. But she kept that thought in a secluded place
inside her head because it brought back a lot of bad memories which she no longer wanted to
nurture.

That's why she always tried not to think about it at all, because well, didn't she have a lot on her
plate already? Therefore, she never mentioned it to Jeongyeon. Not to anyone else at all, for that
matter. Never talked about or showed it to anyone else either, there was no reason for that. But
having Jeongyeon here, right on top of her, looking at her- at her scar with hazy, unreadable eyes
made her think that maybe she should have brought it up before. It made her feel embarrassed and
exposed, so she unconsciously closed her eyes shut because she couldn't bear whatever that look on
Jeongyeon's face meant.

If she couldn't look at herself the same way anymore, why would she think someone else would?
She should've seen it coming.

Nayeon was about to call it all off and apologize when she felt Jeongyeon lean closer and touch her
burning skin. Her lips met the very edge of the scar, between her breasts and right where it came to
end. So she opened her eyes in daze seeing nothing but the ceiling because Jeongyeon's head was
still on chest, now trailing kisses as she made her way up. They were soft and tender as she traced
the length of the scar, but as she reached the base of the throat the kisses that were once gentle
became wilder. As eager and hungry as before when Jeongyeon started sucking and licking and
nibbling and doing everything else she knew Nayeon liked.

Strike three. After that Nayeon was pretty much a basket case.

All of her previous worries slipped out of her mind when Jeongyeon finally placed her knee
between her legs, teasing her with the slightest amount of pressure to make Nayeon buck her hips
up desperately seeking for more. However, when Nayeon tried to thrust her hips up again,
Jeongyeon's right hand was firmly secured on her waist, holding her down and preventing her from
jerking her hips any longer.

"Not yet." Jeongyeon quit nibbling her skin to murmur.

"Jeongyeon... c'mon." Nayeon tried hard to keep herself from whimpering.

"What was that? You're begging already?" Jeongyeon cheekily hummed right next to Nayeon's ear
before pressing down harder. It urged Nayeon to try and thrust her hips up once again, and yet
Jeongyeon's strong hand was still there, keeping her flat against the mattress. "Easy, babe." Wait,
did she just- babe? Yes, babe it is. It came out low, deep and sounded almost like a warning, but
hell, Nayeon felt so much ecstasy with that single word that she almost missed the next sentences.
"I'll take care of you, but I wanna do it my way, alright? Can we do that?"

Jeongyeon settled down on Nayeon's hips and ran her hand through her hair to try and fix some of
the mess they'd done. She was still wearing a sports bra and her dark locks were falling perfectly
over her shoulders. Like an idyllic deja vu, it took Nayeon back to their first time all over again.
Her other hand was laying flat over Nayeon's stomach, right in front of where she was sitting and
there was an even brighter flame in her eyes now. Her tongue was caught between her lips as she
was intently waiting for an answer and she looked so fucking gorgeous Nayeon wished she could
snap a photo right now.

It definitely wasn't the first time they weren't doing this, nor would it be the last, hopefully. The
proof was how perfectly they worked together, the way a single look or a couple of tugs were
enough to hold whole conversations without words. But something about this moment was
different because Nayeon had never felt so vulnerable and exposed like she did right now. Not
because of the unpleasant scar on her bare chest, not because of the angle or the nudity either. But
because Jeongyeon was staring down at her in awe and with what undoubtedly looked like
unadulterated desire.

So yeah, of course they could do that. Nayeon couldn't even begin to explain all the things
Jeongyeon could do to her. She knew she wouldn't be able to say anything without embarrassing
herself, so she just nodded vigorously as she tried to hold back the gasps fighting its way out of her
lips when Jeongyeon rocked her hips on top of her.

"Good." Jeongyeon smiled. Her glow was almost blinding and no one should have the right to be
this pretty, Nayeon mused to herself. It was unfathomable how this girl was even real, but all her
theories about Jeongyeon being an angel were brutally blown out of her mind when her mouth
found her breasts for the first time.

Here's another thing, Jeongyeon had always been the talkative type during sex. Nayeon was pretty
sure no one would believe her if she told, but that's a secret she'd gladly take to her grave. She
figured it was because they had started their sex lives together, and since they were both
inexperienced and relatively young, sometimes it was a bit awkward at the beginning. They had a
lot to learn together and share their thoughts until they managed to find their own rhythm, so back
then it required a lot more communication.

But even after they got the hang of it and learned all the dos and don'ts, where, when and how to
touch, and everything else about each other's likes and dislikes, Jeongyeon was still very vocal.
Whether it was about how she wanted to do something or about her needs and desires. Always
sporting that lopsided smile on her face and holding a praise on the tip of her tongue. And well,
Nayeon couldn't lie, she was a sucker for it.

Not that she herself was the type to ever keep it quiet by any means, but sometimes she was happy
to work on her self-control a little harder just so she could listen and follow whatever her lover had
to say. So after all this time, especially, after having to put up with all those months of believing
that she would never have Jeongyeon again, after thinking that her moments with the girl she loved
were long behind her, Nayeon was more than glad to hear and comply with whatever her ex-
girlfriend had planned for them.

But her thoughts were mercilessly interrupted by a moan of her own as Jeongyeon's teeth closed
around one of her hardened nipples, and she did that while flicking her thumb across the other one.
The burning feeling inside her stomach skyrocketed as she pressed her legs together knowing that
she was probably wetter than she had ever been in her life.

Feeling the need to get it out of her system, Nayeon let go of the sheets she was previlousy clinging
on to for dear life and placed her hands on Jeongyeon's back. Glad at herself for having taken off
her shirt earlier because now she was free to run her nails along the slightly bruised skin again,
leaving even deeper red marks and making sure they would linger for days.

A new thrill raced through her veins when she got the exact reaction she was looking for;
Jeongyeon moaned and slightly rode Nayeon's thigh, but she also chose that moment to switch and
take her mouth ministrations to her other breast. A win-win, overall.

Every single inch of skin on Nayeon's chests was being worshiped while Jeongyeon was turning
her into a mess. Each flick of Jeongyeon's tongue, each squeeze of her hands, each touch was
maddening because she was good and she knew it, so above all her movements were also
confident.

When Nayeon's moans grew louder and the scratching became sloppier, Jeongyeon knew it was
time to move forward. She bid her goodbyes to Nayeon's breasts with one last broad lick that went
all the way up to her neck. Then she put some distance between them and hovered over Nayeon
again, making sure to be within her line of sight in order to utter her next words.

"I don't think I ever got to tell you that enough..." Jeongyeon was looking straight into Nayeon's
eyes. Their foreheads pressed together until Nayeon leaned up and captured her lips in a kiss,
which Jeongyeon unwillingly had to put an end to in order to keep going. "But you're so fucking
beautiful." She moved to push away the locks of hair that had fallen in Nayeon's face. She sounded
so soft and tender that no one could tell she was growing wetter every time Nayeon squirmed
underneath her. "I'm really lucky to have you. You know that, don't you? You're all I ever wanted."
Nayeon couldn't hold her gaze any longer. She closed her eyes and whimpered as Jeongyeon kissed
at the corner of her mouth and leaned closer to whisper in her ear. "And I can't wait to make you
mine again."

And just like that Nayeon was a goner. She gave up letting Jeongyeon dictate all the rules and
leaned over forward to kiss her hard. Both to hide the new shades of brush on her cheeks and also
to take advantage of her ex-girlfriend's momentary distraction so she could grind into her.

"It's okay, baby. We're almost there." Jeongyeon uttered when Nayeon whimpered against her lips
after she broke the kiss.

"Take it off." Nayeon breathlessly urged, being her turn to give an indicative tug at Jeongyeon's
shorts. She wanted more skin-to-skin contact and her stupid shorts were getting in her way, but
Jeongyeon was quick to comply taking it off and promptly returning to her rightful place on top of
Nayeon.

Then she kissed her again, rougher and sloppier and frantic, letting Nayeon know that she was just
as eager as her. She was so close to losing it, but she quickly came to her senses as she remembered
that she still had a whole body to love.
Jeongyeon trailed her hand deliberately slowly down her ex-girlfriend's body, traced her fingertips
over the burning skin and let her nails run slightly as her unquenchable lips went back to work on
Nayeon's red-stained neck. Jeongyeon left more marks on her collarbone when her teeth brushed
without a care in the world, but wet kisses would always come right after to soothe the bruises
she'd made. Rigged breaths echoed all over the loft and murmurs of pleasure were heard from both
parties until Nayeon finally managed to rack her brain long enough to tangle her fingers into the
hair of the girl who was ruining her.

"Fuck." Nayeon groaned and let her head fall back when Jeongyeon's hand finally reached past her
abdomen and hovered over right where she needed the most.

Nayeon felt like she would collapse if Jeongyeon didn't fuck her already, couldn't help but tug at
her ex-girlfriend's hair a little harder when she touched her over her panties just to feel how wet she
really was. Jeongyeon also went back to kissing Nayeon's mouth to swallow every single moan she
knew the other girl was about to spill.

She squirmed when Jeongyeon dragged her damp panties aside and slid two fingers inside, making
direct contact with her core and also making her see stars. Both from the hard rush of pleasure that
washed over her senses and from the fact that it made her close her eyes so tightly that she could
barely think.

The first strokes were long and easy, delicious because Nayeon was drenched and slick. Jeongyeon
had to bite her own tongue not to match Nayeon's whimpers.

"Look at me." Jeongyeon asked and put some distance between them, still fucking her nevertheless.

Nayeon almost didn't register the request, but she closed her eyes again and shook her head as her
labored breathing made it hard to speak. She let go of Jeongyeon to hold onto the sheets again, too
distracted to focus on anything but the painfully slow pace within which Jeongyeon explored her
folds.

"Up here. Look into my eyes, Nayeonie." She knew what eye-contact could do for Nayeon so she
pressed.

"I- I don't think I can." She almost prayed Jeongyeon wouldn't insist, but she wouldn't be
Jeongyeon if she didn't get exactly what she wanted.

"Of course you can, babe. C'mon, I wanna see you." Her voice sounded low and husky, but still
firm and demanding. Her touches suddenly grew faster and more rhythmic, and the way
Jeongyeon's teeth dragged along her jaw almost made Nayeon's hips buck forward.

"Fuck- Jeongyeon..." Nayeon moaned her name as she forced her eyes open, but all efforts were
rewarded when she caught the sight of her ex-girlfriend hovering over her with tousled hair, lips
parted and yet a smug smirk on her flushed face. Seeing just how hot she looked fucking her like
that was all she needed to lose all of her restraint and look straight into her eyes to give her exactly
what she wanted.

Jeongyeon was rubbing her clit now and the tense feeling in Nayeon's belly was getting tighter and
tighter. Her strokes were just as hard as she wanted and just as fast as she needed.

"I know, I know." She hummed along Nayeon's needy moans as she relished in it.

It had been too long since Jeongyeon had seen Nayeon like that and it was almost unfair how pretty
she was. She looked so good with that thin layer of sweat on her forehead. So fucking hot breathing
heavily like that as well. And the way she was bitting down on own her lips so hard- fuck,
Jeongyeon wished it was her lips instead.

Yes, it had been way too long, but she knew exactly what was coming next. She knew just how
much Nayeon could take and she was more than pleased to push her over the edge. So she sucked
that one spot on Nayeon's neck that always makes her toes curl as she turned her thrusts into
shorter but quicker ones, fucking her into oblivion.

Goddammit, Nayeon cussed to herself and maybe out loud as well, they had only just started but if
Jeongyeon kept that up she wouldn't last long.

She had barely finished that though when she started to feel a hot, undignified rush growing deep
in her stomach. Pressing hard against her walls from inside out and gradually taking over her body
with an overwhelming unfathomable thrill.

Nayeon was barely aware of the searing marks she had left all over Jeongyeon's arm. She didn't
mean to scratch her that hard but damn it, it was more Jeongyeon's fault than hers. Fuck, maybe
she should ask Jeongyeon to take it easy but damn- shit. Too late.

Nayeon came embarrassingly fast in her hands. The throbbing feeling spread all the way down
between her legs to the rest of her body as well. The sudden wave of pleasure made her close her
eyes as well as her legs, unintentionally trapping Jeongyeon's hand between her thighs while the
sweeping heavenly feeling took over her every sense.

"Holy shit." Nayeon yelped as she realized that it didn't stop Jeongyeon. She coaxed Nayeon into
opening her legs and kept on touching her, slowly and gently now, but still guiding Nayeon
through her orgasm.

Nayeon felt Jeongyeon's nose brushing her face and shortly after her lips were touching her jaw,
leaving lingering wet kisses on her cheek. At long last, Jeongyeon's voice reached her ears. Way
softer and gentler than she had ever sounded since she got there earlier that night. "Everything okay
over there?"

"Yes." Nayeon couldn't help but giggle. Her breathing was still labored and she kept her eyes
closed, still focused on the hand working between her legs. "Wow, that was... uh, fast." She tried to
joke and play it cool to mask her embarrassment, but there was a warm feeling inside her chest that
made her smile even wider.

"Yeah." Jeongyeon was the one who laughed this time, against Nayeon's neck, since all her words
were now followed by kisses. "And also hot as hell." Nayeon squirmed even more. "If I'd known
you wanted it this bad, I'd have fucked you sooner."

"Jesus, Jeongyeon." Nayeon was even more hot and flustered, so she held onto her arm and started
to thrust her hips so she could meet Jeongyeon's moves. She was pretty sure her ex-girlfriend was
doing it on purpose because she knew Nayeon could go mad on dirty talk alone if she was horny
enough - and fuck yeah, she sure was.

"But I'm not done with you, so take this off for me." It took Nayeon two seconds before she could
even assimilate what she was talking about, but soon enough she was sitting up and taking off her
own panties. She hated it when Jeongyeon stopped touching her, but once her back hit the mattress
again, Jeongyeon was already hovering over her. Kissing her soundly before sliding a finger up
Nayeon's slit.

"More." Nayeon groaned and Jeongyeon gladly complied, slipping another finger inside her
pulsing core. She felt the throbbing between her own legs get even more intense, almost
unbearable as she noticed how well Nayeon was taking her.

Her thumb was rubbing her clit and as her fingers moved deep inside, pushing in and out of her
wetness and earning the loudest moans Nayeon had released yet.

"Fuck, Nayeon, you're so hot." She couldn't help but praise. Nayeon kept squirming beneath her as
her hips moved back and forth to meet the rhythm of the Jeongyeon's digits. "And you feel so, so
good."

"Oh... shit. Don't- don't stop..." Her voice was thoroughly hoarse as she was downright begging
Jeongyeon not to stop. Like she would, she thought to herself but said nothing because she loved to
hear Nayeon becoming a stuttering mess for her. "Yeah, yeah... just like that."

Jeongyeon kept pumping into her, getting carried away with every single sound Nayeon made. And
Nayeon knew she was probably hurting Jeongyeon's shoulders, but she couldn't help it as she
became more and more aware of the growing pressure building up in her guts once again.

"Don't fight it, baby, don't fight it." Jeongyeon said like she read her mind.

"I'm close."

"I know." She hummed appreciatively.

"So close."

"It's okay, I've got you." Nayeon's legs were trembling as Jeongyeon's fingers deliciously sank
deeper. The world seemed to be spinning around them and it got worse when Jeongyeon increased
the pace. She whispered more dirty praises in her ears, letting her know how good Nayeon was
doing and just how well she was taking it.

"So- so fucking good." Nayeon wasn't sure if she was making sense but couldn't keep it to herself.

This time, although it didn't take her by surprise, the orgasm struck her harder than she anticipated.
It could maybe be the months of built-up randiness, or maybe because she was already too
sensitive from her first ride. Or probably it was just the fact that everything she experienced with
Jeongyeon somehow felt a thousand times more intense, but whatever the reason was she could
care less.

Her mind went into full white noise when the girl she loved curved her fingers just enough to touch
the sweet spot that sent Nayeon's entire body and mind flooded with a crashing bliss. She felt like
she was about to walk into heaven and the hand that sent over the edge was the god she wanted to
worship for the rest of her afterlife. Which was ironic, because the filthy moan that escaped her
throat was without a doubt the most sinful sound that had ever come out of her mouth. But still,
Jeongyeon was there until the very end, whispering in her ear as she came down off her high.
Making sure she knew exactly who was the one and only person who could ever make her feel that
way.

Nayeon's body relaxed, but she was still trying to even her breathing and keep her weary sighs to
herself. She placed an arm over her face, covering her eyes and Jeongyeon thought it best not to
interrupt her moment as she watched the slow rise and fall of chest. She merely placed a sweet kiss
on Nayeon's shoulder before resting her head in the same place and innocently slipped her arm
over Nayeon's stomach, nuzzling closer to her. Of course, Nayeon mused. Jeongyeon was always
up to cuddle as if she hadn't fucked her senseless just a few minutes before. That's just another
thing she loved about her.

It got quiet save for the sound of Nayeon's heavy breathing and the rain still pouring down
mercilessly outside. Oh, Jeongyeon had almost forgotten about that, but she smiled to herself as she
thought she had done a pretty good job distracting Nayeon.

How's that for a jester? She wanted to tease Nayeon but ultimately decided against it, thinking it
was better to save it in the back of her mind for later.

Her hand was dancing over Nayeon's stomach, her thumb stroking the smooth skin as she waited
for her ex-girlfriend to come back to her senses on her own accord. But then Nayeon got a hold of
her hand and intertwined their fingers, making Jeongyeon look up to see that she had removed her
arm from her face. So Jeongyeon tilted her head up to place a kiss on her cheek, being rewarded
with a bright-eyed Nayeon smiling tiredly, rolling into the side and leveling down to come face to
face with Jeongyeon.

"Hi there."

"Hey." Nayeon replied atypically shy, but she still reached out to brush away the strands that were
stuck on Jeongyeon's forehead. Honestly, their bodies were sweaty and a little sticky, but they
couldn't care less.

"I miss this so much." Jeongyeon couldn't help but smile as she confessed.

"Oh damn, me too." Nayeon shared just as cheerfully. "Can't believe it took us so long."

"Yeah." Jeongyeon nodded and Nayeon watched the mischievous smirk that took over her lips. Her
voice was laced with mirth and just the right amount of amusement as she added just to tease
Nayeon. "It took way too long, unlike you, who came in like two minutes."

"It wasn't two- oh, shut up!" Nayeon blushed even deeper and tried to smack Jeongyeon's arm, but
the goalkeeper got a hold of her wrist before she could.

"It's okay, babe! I'm hot, I get it." She kept teasing, still holding her wrist.

"Dammit, you'll never let me live this down, will you??" Nayeon tried to look annoyed, but she
couldn't stop smiling.

"Well, I don't know. I think it'll look good on my resumé, don't you?" Nayeon grunted as
Jeongyeon barked out a laugh. She even tried to leave, but Jeongyeon just pulled her back into the
bed and started placing kisses all over her face.

"You're an idiot." Nayeon said and she meant it. Tried to keep a scowl, but it didn't last long
because the smile she was trying so hard to hide betrayed her once again.

"Yeah, I know." After a little fight that featured tickling and some rib poking, they were back to
lying on their sides and staring at each other. Then Jeongyeon pinched the bridge of her nose
before turning to lie flat on her back. She stared at the ceiling for maybe five whole seconds before
she closed her eyes and sighed happily. "Okay, but on a serious note now. I'm really happy, you
know? I mean, I've been feeling happy lately, but now… I think you should pinch me so I know
I'm not dreaming, just to be sure."

Her words warmed Nayeon's chest, but a beat passed and there was an even warmer feeling in
Nayeon's guts. A thought crossed her mind. A heat crept up her face and tinged the tip of her ears
as her body temperature went up and her eyes darkened with desire.
Nayeon's heart raced as she stared at Jeongyeon's profile. She really seemed to be dreaming with
the way her eyes were casually closed, no trace of worry on her features as the corner of her lips
were curved upwards in a dopey smile. She looked so beautiful Nayeon thought she might just fall
in love all over again. And suddenly she needed to show Jeongyeon just how much she loved her.

"I can do something better." Nayeon blurted out and let it sink in. Didn't say anything else until
Jeongyeon tilted her head to look at her, opened her eyes and slightly frowned as she waited for her
to elaborate.

But Nayeon was looking at her in a different way now. With outstanding affection but also with an
equal amount of lust and desire. And no, Jeongyeon didn't know how she managed it, but she loved
being on the receiving end of that look either way. She loved the fact that Nayeon looked at her
like this, only at her and no one else.

Her answer came in the form of Nayeon sitting up and then kneeling on the bed. She stared down
at her with the kind of eyes that made her feel consumed and damn, Jeongyeon just knew she was
about to lose it. She gulped and tried to sit up as well, but Nayeon was quick to press a hand on her
shoulder. Pushed her down until her back was flat on the bed and her head was perfectly set on the
pillow. So she could do nothing but watch Nayeon slip a leg between hers to straddle one of her
thighs.

Jeongyeon felt the heat radiating from Nayeon's still wet and dripping core. Fuck, she wanted
Nayeon to ride her so bad, but she didn't get to ask because her words were replaced by a gasp
when Nayeon pressed her knee and applied just enough pressure higher up. She didn't break eye
contact as she dragged a single finger from Jeongyeon's stomach to her sports bra, and the invisible
line she drew on her skin seared like burning flames.

"Let me take this off." Nayeon prompted and Jeongyeon immediately tried to sit up again, but all
she could do was lean on her elbows as Nayeon gave the support she needed to take the garment
off and fling it behind her back. Then she swung her hips on Jeongyeon's thigh, who closed her
eyes shut and jerked her head back as she heard Nayeon quietly moaning at the contact.

Honestly, Jeongyeon wanted nothing more than to get her off of her, throw her on the bed and then
actually get her off again. Maybe eat her out now. Oh yes, please, she wanted to taste her so much.
But when Nayeon propped an arm on the bed and hovered over her, she tried to be patient and let
her ex-girlfriend have her turn.

Which she failed to do when Nayeon rolled her hips one more time. Jeongyeon felt like she was
about to combust so she brought her hands to either side of Nayeon's waist in a poor attempt to
prompt her movements, but the other girl wasn't having it. She clicked her tongue and shook her
head as a warning. Got a hold of both of Jeongyeon's hands and pinned them above her head, but
she let go of them soon enough so she could sit up straight and put her hands flat on Jeongyeon's
stomach as she started grinding on her thigh. Although not quite as Jeongyeon wanted yet, not
completely, not fully. Just smooth and lightly, like she was going out of her way to drive her nuts.

"Nayeon, c'mon." She closed her eyes and pleaded as her voice barely came out.

"What?" Jeongyeon could hear the smirk in her voice. "Do you want it?" Another grind. Another
moan. Jeongyeon's hands were the ones gripping the sheets now. "You do, don't you?" A harder
grind. A louder moan. Another hard grip on the sheets. "Then ask for it."

Well, fuck it. Quite literally.

"I do! I want it! Please." It didn't take a beat, she gave in on the spot. Whining as all sense of
dignity was thrown out the window because Nayeon was still riding her thigh and Jeongyeon was
going mad since she honestly didn't know if the slick was hers or Nayeon's at that point.

"Please what?"

"Fuck me-" She gasped for air as she grasped the sheets even tighter. "Please, just- just fuck me
already."

Jeongyeon opened her eyes when she heard the faintest giggles coming out Nayeon's throat. She
was leaning over her and with a hand resting right next to her head.

"Don't worry, beautiful." Nayeon quietly whispered as she nibbled her earlobe, making Jeongyeon
squirm underneath her. "I've been wanting to do this just as much as you do."

Yeah, Nayeon was a tease, that much was a fact, but she really wanted to get straight to the point
this time. So she kissed Jeongyeon deeply, tongue tracing the shape of her lips. It was long and
heated and incredibly erotic. Jeongyeon ran her hands down her back, letting the sheets breathe and
moaning into Nayeon's mouth as every move made also made her knee press a little harder.

Once Nayeon sat up again and Jeongyeon chased her lips even after she was gone. Nayeon's hands
reached for Jeongyeon's torso, kneading her way up and down and giving due attention to her
breasts until she had her biting her lips to keep herself from whimpering.

"Babe..." Jeongyeon was about to ask her to skip that part, but they both knew she wouldn't mean
it. Nayeon never left any part of Jeongyeon's body untouched and she not so secretly loved it. But
her thoughts were interrupted by another lewd groan. One of her own, she noticed, when Nayeon
rolled her nipple between her agile fingers. Then she leaned over to press her tongue flat against the
bud she held between index and thumb and damn, Nayeon almost forgot how loud Jeongyeon
could be.

If it was up to Nayeon she could live right there. In that place and in that moment, feeding herself
on the sounds she could coax out of Jeongyeon with her mouth on her neck and her hands on her
breasts. But it wasn't long before she noticed that the other girl was growing more and more needy
since Jeongyeon kept trying to thrust into her already wet thigh, so Nayeon finally got off her and
took mercy on her ex-girlfriend.

Jeongyeon raised her head and opened her eyes to be met with the wonderful sight of Nayeon on all
fours. Her gaze burned into her as she peeled Jeongyeon out of her underwear, sliding it down to
her ankles at a painfully slow pace and not breaking eye contact for a single second. Then she
spread her knees further apart as she crawled back to Jeongyeon looking at her like she was a five-
course meal.

Jeongyeon was rendered breathless, like the sight of Nayeon between her legs was a lot to take in.
It was. No matter how many times she's seen her like this before, she would never get used to it.

"Fuck." Jeongyeon muttered as she tried to imprint every detail of that scene in the back of her
mind. If that wasn't the hottest thing the world had ever seen, she didn't know what was. But there
was nothing Jeongyeon could do but to rut her hips up into nothing and wait for Nayeon to do what
she will.

Nayeon settled herself between her legs and started to press soft, light kisses on Jeongyeon's inner
thighs, her fingers trailing lightly over the skin and leaving no part unattended. Jeongyeon bit her
own lip so hard it could have drawn blood, but that's what she had to do in order to control the urge
to drive her hand into Nayeon's hair and guide her mouth to where she wanted it the most.
When Nayeon bit a spot particularly closer to Jeongyeon's core, she whined and tried to rub one leg
against the other one more time, almost forgetting Nayeon was between them now. So she couldn't
get what she needed, or not if Nayeon didn't give it to her, at least.

"Nayeon, please..." Jeongeyon shamelessly begged once again. Her voice was all deep and rasping
in a way that was setting Nayeon's body ablaze.

So that was the last straw for Nayeon to dive into the soft flesh of her thighs, spreading her folds
and licking her clit. Soon Jeongyeon's pleading and prayers were replaced by an explosive cry of
pleasure as a wave rippled through her body when Nayeon ran her tongue over the full length of
her core. And she was greatly rewarded because the moans that left Jeongyeon's lips were loudy
and filthy.

"Baby, my neighbors are gonna hear you if you keep this up." Nayeon pulled away just enough to
tease her, but Jeongyeon pressed her heel against Nayeon's back to urge her back down. She
chuckled but complied anyway. "Yes, ma'am."

It was like another reality clash for Jeongyeon, to have Nayeon eating her out like. Up until that
moment if you told Jeongyeon she had been dreaming that whole night, she probably would've
believed you.

After all, she had had dreams like that before, but none of them were so vivid, so good. But that
was crucial for her to know that it was real. It wasn't just a figment of her imagination, a
hallucination or a fever dream.

It was thoroughly overwhelming, her mind picking up Nayeon's tongue inside her and how she
sucked hard at her clit. All the things Nayeon could do with her heavenly tongue were the final
proof that not even in her wildest dreams could she be just imagining it.

Nayeon looped one of Jeongyeon's legs over her shoulders so that she could have better access, but
also to have a better angle to hold Jeongyeon down and keep her from slipping out of her arms.
Nayeon had her thumb rubbing at her clit as her mouth roamed over the slick folds and it was
driving Jeongyeon into ecstasy.

She badly wanted to get a hold of Nayeon's hair, but with how hard she was clutching onto the
sheets she would probably hurt her and she definitely didn't want that. If she could only control
herself just enough to-

"Shit." Jeongyeon gasped. Lost her grip when Nayeon dipped her tongue inside, because nothing
was supposed to feel so good and Gosh, how the hell did she do that? She couldn't even put
together coherent sentences at the point, all she could think of was, "Yes. Yes. More. Just like
that."

She felt so good, and so full, so happy that she felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. And it
got even worse - even better - when Nayeon switched roles and brought her tongue to her clit,
easily dipping two fingers inside with how slick she was.

Jeongyeon forgot everything else and yielded to the urge to grab a fistfull Nayeon's hair, but it only
urged Nayeon to keep going. She pumped her digits faster while her tongue flicked at the sensitive
spot in a steady rhythm. Each thrust being met by Jeongyeon's lewd moans. A mixture of Nayeon,
Nayeon, Nayeon, and good and don't stop and fuck me, and more Nayeon, Nayeon, Nayeon like her
name was a prayer.

Jeongyeon could feel it building in her stomach with each single movement, each thrust and each
 lick were maddening, but she didn't want to let go- at least not just yet. She wanted this moment to
last forever because she hadn't felt so full in so long and she could never get enough of Nayeon.
Her long, deft fingers were delightful and the sight she was watching, God, it felt like a religious
experience.

But she knew all too well that she had no control over this whatsoever, the power lay all with
Nayeon and with Nayeon only. She would come when Nayeon wanted, when Nayeon let her.
When Nayeon told her to and that look on her face now said it all.

All it took was Jeongyeon meeting Nayeon's eyes across the plane of her stomach for her to be
thrown into oblivion once and for all. Nayeon made sure that Jeongyeon came hard in her mouth
and kept licking and mouthing her through the aftershocks.

It was all too intense and very loud, pretty sweaty; filthy and also messy. And yet the silence that
enveloped them after all that was incredibly wholesome.

Nayeon crawled her way up kissing Jeongyeon's body until she reached her mouth, kissing her
soundly one last time before collapsing by her side. Jeongyeon was about to move and cuddle but
Nayeon must have had her mind because she was faster, wrapping her arms around her and
nuzzling the soft skin. She also sighed tiredly, but happily, smiling into the crook of her neck.

Both of them were worn out and neither said anything for the longest time. Jeongyeon closed her
eyes for a second and when she opened them again she realized that something had changed.
Nayeon was spooning her now, with both of her arms wrapped tightly around her waist. There was
also a blanket over them, so she had to admit that she might have dozed off for a bit.

The next morning they would wake up to find out that the rain had yet to stop, but it wouldn't
matter because they would spend the whole day in the bed anyway. They would see two mugs full
of cold tea long forgotten on the counter and would laugh about it. And they would also laugh
once they notice that they had switched outfits once they got up. Jeongyeon would absently slip
into the clothes Nayeon was wearing the night before, leaving her fancy pajamas back to Nayeon.
Well, they're all from Nayeon but still, they both would have a field day about it. But most
importantly, the next morning they would love each other a little more than they did the day
before. The same thing would happen the next day. And the day after that as well. Just like every
day after that.

But that's not until the next morning. Jeongyeon had something else to do before really falling
asleep.

"Nayeon?" She softly called out just to check. The breathing she felt on the back of her neck was
fairly even, so she didn't expect an answer.

"Mhm?" Nayeon's grip grew stronger as she drowsily hummed in response. She had definitely
fallen asleep already, but the way she still replied to her even in her slumber was sweet.

Jeongyeon closed her eyes again and entwined their fingers together over her stomach. Happily
smiled to herself as she answered softly, "I love you."

Chapter End Notes

yep. that's it. one more to go.

 i gotta go home
Chapter Summary

Perhaps on any other day she would be more mindful of the fact that her jersey was
thoroughly soiled, stained with grass and dirt and sweat. Maybe she'd remembered that
she usually wouldn't feel that comfortable with such a public display of affection
amidst so many strangers as well. But that would be on any other day because tonight
was completely different. Right there, at that moment, when she touched Nayeon
again could've sworn the world had come into colors for the very first time.

Chapter Notes

this is going to be a long one so make yourselves comfortable

on the bright side, it's the last one
on the downside, i'm already missing it

See the end of the chapter for more notes

"Im Nayeon, what have you done!?" Jihyo's voice echoed around the cafeteria and she had a pretty
serious expression as she stomped toward their table.

"What did you do?" Jeongyeon whispered to the girl next to her.

"Nothing?" Nayeon paled a little, then she made a face. "Well, at least I think so."

"She said she's innocent and I believe her." Jeongyeon pledged her allegiance as soon as Jihyo
pulled up in front of them. She also slipped a protective arm over Nayeon's shoulders, who
immediately scooted closer to her ex-girlfriend. Meanwhile, Momo and Sana, the only other people
who had already shown up for their group lunch, dropped everything they were doing to watch the
scene.

"Okay, first off, I hate it when you get all whipped." Jihyo crossed her arms and glared at
Jeongyeon. "And second," Her frown melted altogether. "Let go of her because I need to kiss her
right now."

"What!?" Nayeon yelped as collective mumblings of confusion were heard around the table.

Jihyo didn't bother explaining. The captain just stood behind the couple, pushed Jeongyeon aside
and wrapped Nayeon in a hug that actually looked like a neck wrench, repeatedly kissing her face
as she leaned.

"Alright then, what the fuck is going on?" Sana bewilderedly asked.

"I guess she's just happy." Sejeong's voice caught their attention. Amidst the bustle of Hurricane
Jihyo, no one had even noticed that the captain's girlfriend was right behind her.
"Oh, hey. Didn't see you there.".

"May I sit?"

"Uh, sure." Jeongyeon was also taken aback, but she signaled the seat in front of her anyway. The
one that used to be Nayeon's, which she had switched with Mina a few weeks back, changing their
unofficial seating chart.

"Jeongyeon..." The whining voice next to her drew her attention back, as well as the awkward tug
on her arm. "Make her stop!"

"Okay, Ji, you're done." Jeongyeon stood up and put a stop to Jihyo's assaults. She lifted the
captain off the ground just because she could, and then gave her a slight shove to prompt her to go
to the other side of the table before sitting back besides Nayeon. "That's enough. Go sit with your
girl-" She cleared her throat and toned her voice down, glancing worriedly at both sides and
noticing some curious looks being cast their way. "Uh, friend."

It wasn't every day that a member of the volleyball team would sit at the soccer crew's table. And
by "it wasn't every day" she actually meant it had never happened before.

"Right, so what's that all about?" Sana asked again. Nayeon was dramatically wiping her cheeks
and trying to fix her now messy hair with a scowl on her face.

"Jennie's off the team." Sejeong answered on her girlfriend's behalf. Her tone was high-pitched and
cheerful, she could barely keep her excitement at bay.

"What??" There was another wave of collective commotion, Nayeon included.

"She's out of Yonsei too!" Jihyo added, grinning from ear to ear and seeking Nayeon's gaze. "And
I'm pretty sure you have something to do with it."

"Wait, she got expelled??" Nayeon looked genuinely surprised. Her eyebrow shot up to her hairline
and she even stopped trying to groom herself up.

"Not exactly, but she got suspended from the squad for an indefinite period of time."

"Yeah, I'm really not following." Momo scratched her head hoping someone would explain it.

"They let us know this morning." Sejeong finally elaborated. "We had our first practice today
because we're going to attend a local tournament next month, but Jennie wasn't anywhere in sight.
Coach said that the administration had received an irrefutable file of reports and allegations from
people on and off the team complaining about her abusive practices. At first she was suspended
while the faculty proceeded with their own investigation, but she already knew what the outcome
would be, of course. So since the semester had only just started, she chose to transfer to DWU so
she could prevent the result from staining her record."

"She couldn't accept the prospect of losing her fucking rule and so she bounced like the real
coward she is!" Jihyo chimed in, sitting at the edge of the bench and almost jumping in excitement.

"But how does Nayeon fit into this?" Jeongyeon glanced at her ex-girlfriend who was still staring
at Jihyo in mild confusion. She had absolutely no doubt that Nayeon was somehow involved, but
the way she looked bewildered was also confusing her a bit.

"Well, you see, when we were on our break, my girl over here told me that someone sought her out
for a chat about the environment within the team." Jihyo scooted closer to her girlfriend, wrapping
her arms around her as she spoke. "At the time we thought it was someone hired by the university,
but when she came to tell me the news earlier I started connecting the dots. A whole fucking file,
for fuck's sake, which one of those old hags would ever bother especially with Jennie's uncle being
on the council? But now there are some pictures of these files circulating in the volleyball team's
group chat and when Sejeong showed it to me I ended up seeing the name of the law firm that
made the complaint. A fucking law firm, that's right. Hwang Associates, to be exact. Then
everything started to make sense. I showed her Chansung's IG profile, she recognized him and
confirmed that he's the one who had talked to her before, so that's when I knew for sure."

"Oh, it does make sense." Jeongyeon replied and reached for Nayeon's hand under the table. She
was looking a little worried before, but it got Nayeon to lighten up on the spot. "Can't believe you
went to all that trouble."

"I- it wasn't any trouble at all. But to be honest, this is kind of confusing to me as well." Nayeon
frowned and then turned back to her ex-girlfriend. "You're not upset, right?"

"Why would I be?"

"I mean, I kept this from you because you told us to take the supposed truce, but I couldn't let her
get away after what she did to you. To all of us, actually."

"Don't worry, babe. It's fine." Jeongyeon brought their intertwined hands up to her mouth so she
could place a kiss on Nayeon's knuckles. "I can't be a hypocrite and say I feel sorry for her.
Besides, she still managed to get herself out of being expelled when she transferred, that sneaky b-"

"Wait a damn minute. Who the hell is Chansung?" Sana raised her voice to get the answers she
needed. "And what the hell is going on?"

"Oh, he's an attorney. A friend of Nayeon's family." Jeongyeon explained. "I mean, more of a
friend to her than her family, but that's besides the point."

"He used to work at my dad's office when I was a kid." Nayeon turned back to her friends, keeping
her hand intertwined with Jeongyeon's over her lap. "Sometimes my dad would take me to work
and end up leaving me with him when there was no one else to look after me. He was just an intern
back then, so he wanted to please his superiors, of course. But we ended up getting along and now
he's like an uncle to me, I guess."

"He's awesome." Jihyo pointed out. "Once he got us out of jail without our parents even knowing
when Nayeon thought it'd be a good idea to-"

"Hey, I told you it could go wrong! You knew the risks and still chose to go with me, so it wasn't
my fault!" Nayeon protested.

"Wait, we can talk about all the crimes Nayeon has committed later, but let's focus on the main
topic first, shall we?" Sana interrupted before they could get into an argument. "So you asked your
uncle to ruin Jennie for us, that's it?"

"Well, not in those words." She shrugged, feeling a little self conscious. "I just wanted him to get
some evidence of all the shit she was pulling. He asked me for some phone numbers, made some
questions, and I let him work his magic."

"Okay, I have two questions." Momo's tone was deadly serious. "Why didn't you tell us about this
before and what are the chances of you getting me an internship with him?"

"I can give you his number and-"

"I mean, I can see why you didn't tell these losers, but I can't believe you didn't tell me what you
were up to!!" Sana grumbled even louder, cutting the topic short. "We've been trying to plan the
perfect comeback weeks, Nayeon! Weeks! But you were just losing my time when you already had
everything figured out!"

"I wasn't sure it'd work!" Nayeon tried to defend herself. "I just wanted him to find some dirt on
her so I could use it and get her to leave us alone. I didn't know he would actually file a fucking
formal complaint."

"So what you really wanted was blackmail material?" Jihyo teased, but her tone was mostly
prideful. "Mina would be proud."

"You know what? You're forgiven." Sana kept going, but didn't lose her theatrics antics. "What
matters is that you kicked the bitch out without even having to actually kick her out!" She voiced
the words aloud and the realization hit her all of a sudden. "Damn, I hate to admit it but that was
actually brilliant. And Jihyo was right, I'm so happy I could kiss you right now. But unlike her I
have manners, so," She stood up, tucked her shirt and looked down at the goalkeeper. "Jeongyeon,
my dear. Would you mind if I were to kiss Nayeon real quick?"

"Yes, she would! She would mind a lot!" Nayeon growled. Almost yelled. She clung to
Jeongyeon's arm and looked at her with a deep frown and a disgusted expression on her face. "Tell
her to stay away from me, she respects you more than me."

Jeongyeon didn't know how Nayeon could be so dramatic, but that was just another thing she loved
about her. She saw the sheer distress in her eyes, felt the way she held onto her arm so tightly that
anyone else would actually believe Nayeon could be in some serious life-threatening situation. On
the other side, she glanced up to see Sana waiting with that smirk on her face. The kind she always
pulled whenever she wanted Jeongyeon to play along.

"Jeongyeon..." The mischievous grin that made its way to Jeongyeon's lips was all Nayeon needed
to whimper, pout and make puppy dog eyes as her last resort. But it was too late, she knew she had
lost long before Jeongyeon even opened her mouth.

"You know what?" Jeongyeon turned back to Sana. "No, I wouldn't mind at all."

Nayeon was up and out the door before she could even finish, all but running out of the cafeteria.
But not without Sana trailing closely behind her, screaming at each other and embarrassing
themselves in front of the student body.

"Nayeonie..." Jeongyeon drawled and lightly nudged the girl next to her as the alarm clock went off
once again. "Wake up."

"Just five more minutes." Nayeon ignored it, tucked her head back under Jeongyeon's chin and
tried to fall back asleep.

"You said that two times already. Get up." It took a few more minutes where she was torn between
placing kisses on Nayeon's face and giving her a few more nudges to wake her up, but eventually
Jeongyeon got a reaction out of her.

"Goddamnit!" Nayeon cried out and kicked the covers hoping the cold would give her with the
push she needed to move. "Remind me again why the hell did you let me enroll for a seven a.m.
class?"
Nayeon had crashed at Jeongyeon's place exactly because of that class - or at least that's the excuse
they had been using for the past few weeks. Her apartment was closer to college so whenever
Nayeon had that early morning class the next day, she would stay over so she could get some more
precious minutes of sleep.

"Because you have a job now and so you had to change your schedule." Jeongyeon patiently
replied, somewhat amused by her grumpiness. Then she leaned closer and briefly kissed Nayeon's
lips before climbing out of the blankets as well. "Now come on, I'll make us some coffee."

"What if I drop this class?" Nayeon kept whining after putting a pillow over her face. "I could
always take it next semester- or better yet, what if I drop off college?"

"You're not doing either." Jeongyeon got up and proceeded to make the bed hoping Nayeon would
get the hint and get up. "I really don't get why you're so whiny when it comes to this class. You
wake up much earlier than this when we have practice and you don't complain nearly as much.
What's the difference?"

"Well, spending hours watching hot girls playing soccer is way better than putting up with a sixty-
year-old man bitching about how he should be enjoying his retirement in the Maldives instead of
teaching."

It came out so naturally that Jeongyeon couldn't help but laugh. But then she halted and narrowed
her eyes at Nayeon, suddenly pulling the pillow off her face. "Hold on, did you just-"

"Gee, would you look at the time?? I really can't be late!" Nayeon's eyes widened and she got up on
the spot. "I'm going to take a shower, okay? Please make us that coffee you were talking about."

Standing next to the half made bed with a pillow in her hands, Jeongyeon watched Nayeon plant a
peck on her lips and flash her a smile before walking out the door.

Once alone Jeongyeon shook her head, smiling to herself as she already anticipated how much she
would miss Nayeon after she left. "I can't believe I actually signed up for this."

"Hey, I heard that!"

"I don't think I'll be able to join you guys at lunch today but I'll text you later. Have a good class
and don't be late for work, alright? I'm pretty sure your manager won't like it." That's how
Jeongyeon sent Nayeon off to class after kissing her goodbye.

Sana had been promoted after she didn't go back to Japan over the break and ended up picking a
few more shifts while everyone else was asking for some time off. Her boss said he saw it as a sign
of commitment or whatever - it was bullshit, anyway. Meanwhile, Nayeon started working at the
very same place soon after she moved, under Sana's management nonetheless. Jeongyeon would be
lying if she said she hadn't wished to be a fly on the wall just so she could watch their new dynamic
at work.

Despite hearing all about their bickering from Nayeon every night, as well as putting up with
Sana's complaints not only by text, but also at practices, lunches and every other time they'd hang
out, she knew as well as the rest that this was the best thing that could've happened to the two of
them.

Jeongyeon laughed all by herself - or at least she thought she was alone - when Nayeon flipped her
the bird and walked away without even looking back. Just as she was about to close the door, a
voice inside the apartment made her jump in shock.

"Gosh, I thought she'd never leave."

"Damn it, Momo!" Her hand flew to her chest and slammed the door shut. "Why do you always do
that??"

"Why do you always get scared so easily?" Momo shot back, apparently having the time of her life.

"Fuck off." Jeongyeon threw a cushion at her as she strolled back to the kitchen.

"Hey, that's no way to treat your dearest and thoughtful friend when said friend was trapped and
hungry in her room for hours while you were out here playing house." Momo sat down on the stool
and dramatically leaned over the counter.

"Hours?" Jeongyeon scoffed. "We barely had ten minutes for breakfast. And why the hell did you
stay in your room? Did you and Nayeon get into a fight?" Jeongyeon asked, just now registering
what Momo had said a minute ago about Nayeon leaving.

"No, of course not. I was just giving you two some privacy."

"You didn't have to do that. Nayeon and I would've loved to have breakfast with you." Jeongyeon
placed a mug in front of her. Smelling the coffee, Momo finally raised her head and found her
roommate back at the stove.

"I know, but still. You've always done this for me and Dahyun, so I was just trying to return the
favor." Jeongyeon blushed, thankful that her back was turned to Momo. It was true that she went
out of her way to give the other couple some alone time, but she never thought Momo had actually
noticed.

"Scrambled eggs?" Jeongyeon tried to change the subject.

"Yesss, please." And she succeeded when Momo replied excitedly. "You know what I like the
most about you and Nayeon getting back together? Your good mood! Seriously, I have a lot to
thank Nayeon for. Dating looks good on you."

Jeongyeon rolled her eyes and cooked in silence, but when she walked back to Momo to place a
plate in front of her, she thought she better clarify.

"You do know that Nayeon and I aren't actually back together, right? At least not yet."

"Wait, what? Is this serious?" Momo halted her forkfuls. Glanced at her with a disbelieving look
when Jeongyeon nodded. "That's ridiculous. Why not?"

"Well, I guess none of us asked yet?" Jeongyeon shrugged. "But it's fine, you know. As I told you
before, we're taking it slow."

"Slow? Dammit, Jeongyeon, let's be honest. Unfortunately, I kind of overheard you guys last night
and you weren't exactly asking Nayeon to take it any slower."

Jeongyeon almost choked on her coffee. Momo even stood up to rub her back.

"Hey, it's fine! I'm just proving my point. By the way, why the hell did I let you have the bedroom
closest to the bathroom? Now I have to remember to use my earphones every time I need to walk
by your door when Nayeon's over-"
"Momo-"

"Alright, sorry! What I'm trying to say is that you're already a couple whether you like it or not, so
please let me refer to you as such."

It took a while for Jeongyeon to pull herself together and be able to look at Momo again. Her
cheeks were still burning in embarrassment as she finally spoke up.

"I also think we're a couple already." Jeongyeon said more to herself than to Momo. She sat down
next to her roommate to keep her company while she ate. "I want her to be my girlfriend, actually. I
want it to be official." This time she actually talked to Momo. She didn't know why she was telling
her that, but somehow something inside her seemed to know that she needed to talk it over.

"Then why don't you tell her that? You don't have to make a grand gesture or anything, just pop the
question. We both know what the answer is going to be anyway."

Jeongyeon also had an answer for that on the tip of her tongue, but without even realizing it she
caught herself saying something else, "I'm afraid something will change."

"What do you mean?" Momo turned to her side and Jeongyeon looked down at her mug as she
thought of the best way to voice what was going on inside her head.

"Me and Nayeon... we're fine now. The best we've been in years. I just- I don't want to jeopardize
that. Don't want to do anything that could be a possible setback."

"How making things official between the two of you could possibly be a setback??"

"It's like basic math. You wouldn't understand." Jeongyeon joked to try to lighten up the mood.
Their little morning chat had gotten too deep all of sudden.

"Jeongyeon." Momo called her out, not letting her drop the main issue.

"I don't know how to explain it." She sighed feeling a little frustrated at herself.

"Give it a try." Momo coaxed and Jeongyeon took a deep breath before starting.

"Like, in the beginning, before we started dating back in high school, every Wednesday after
practice used to be my own personal heaven, you know? I'll never say that I regret saying yes to
her, that's not it. Not at all, please don't get me wrong. We started dating and everything was
perfect for a while, but then things started to get rough all of a sudden. I also can't say that we
didn't have problems, but it wasn't anything too worrying until we came to Yonsei. A lot of things
started happening and it felt like everything changed after that. We started to drift away little by
little until we actually fell apart.

"She left and I... shit, Momo, you were there, you know how bad it was. But after everything she
still came back and we also went back to that dumb deal of ours. We were fine for months until-
until everything went wrong again. But we managed to bounce back once again and we're here
now. We're doing great for the first time in who knows how long. It may not be official, but I
haven't felt this happy in ages, Momo. I just don't want another big change to end up ruining
everything again." She finished her rant feeling lighter, yet also a little embarrassed. "I know it
sounds stupid and it may not make sense to you, but it somehow makes sense to me."

"It's not stupid if that's how you feel." Momo made sure to validate her feelings. "Look, I get it
where you're coming from, but I think the problem isn't your relationship status, it's you."
"Gee, thanks." Jeongyeon definitely wasn't expecting that answer.

"Both of you, I mean." She laughed at Jeongyeon's reaction before drawing it up. "I'm not saying
you loved each other any less in the past, but you were different people back then. Younger and
unprepared, greener too, you know. That does make a difference. So maybe you guys weren't as
ready as you thought you were for the life you thought you wanted, and that's perfectly normal
because going out of high school into the real world is scary as hell.

"You guys had some problems and I'm sure they were valid, but I bet the whole thing was grossly
overblown in your eyes. But then again, it's a very common process that every relationship is
bound to go through at some point, especially when they have known each other for so long like
you two. But you see, you went through all this and a lot more, but you got through it all as well.
Every rough day, every single problem, every setback, all of it. And yet you're still here, together.
Choosing to be together, you know? So I think it's not about the changes itselfs, Jeongyeonie, it's
about how you deal with them. It's okay if you're not ready to take that step right now, just don't let
your past fears stop you from choosing what you really want, alright?"

Dammit, Momo always went for her throat. And amazingly enough, she was also always right.
Jeongyeon listened to the whole thing staring into nothingness as she took in every word. Once
Momo was finished, she patted her shoulder reassuringly and resumed eating.

"You know what?" Jeongyeon nodded to herself. She held an undaunted look on her face with a
small smile playing on her lips. "I am ready."

"That's great." Momo mused with her mouth full. "Then you know what you have to do, don't
you?"

"I do." She nodded again. "I gotta go home."

No, but like, literally. Jeongyeon really needed to go home.

That's why she found herself knocking on Jihyo's bedroom door at the Beach House that very same
day, but hours after she had that Momo-induced epiphany.

"Who's that?" The captain's grouchy voice enquired from the other side.

"Jeongyeon?" It wasn't supposed to come out as a question but that's how it sounded as Jeongyeon
frowned at the door, taken aback by Jihyo's unexpected bad mood.

"What do you want?" Her tone wasn't friendly at all. Seriously, that's definitely not the reaction she
expected when visiting her best friend.

"I need to talk to you."

"It's late."

"It's... late?" Jeongyeon echoed, feeling even more puzzled. "It's not even seven p.m. yet and I need
your help. Can you open the door already? It's important." Jeongyeon was starting to grow
impatient. She heard a single knocking noise coming from inside and couldn't have sworn Jihyo
had just banged her head against the door on the other side.

"Just a second." She muttered after signing defeatedly and then Jeongyeon heard some more
shuffling noises. The goalkeeper also heard murmurs and curses, all coming from the captain. A
minute later the door was opened. Well, kind of. It was just a bit and Jeongyeon was met by Jihyo's
frowning scowl through the crack. "Jeongyeon, I swear to God that if it's not a life or death
situation, I promise you'll be in one very soon."

"It's important, dude, trust me." Jeongyeon tried to push the door open to walk in, but she was
hindered by Jihyo's steady hand holding the door in place.

"Spill. If it's not worth my time I'll be kicking your ass outside." Jeongyeon narrowed her eyes and
took a step back. She wanted to ask and find out what's the reason behind that unprompted
behavior, but she was running out of time.

"Alright. I need to borrow your car so I can go to my parents' tonight. I'll explain everything later,
but I can't waste any time right now."

"Wait, do you mean like- you're really telling me you wanna take an all-night trip right before our
championship game? Is that right?"

"Exactly." Jeongyeon didn't even blink. "Glad you got it. But don't worry, I'll be back first thing in
the morning so I'll have plenty of time to rest and catch up on sleep before we leave for our match.
I promise it'll work out, just- please, give me the keys."

"You're not going to do that."

"Yes, I will."

"No, you won't."

"I will."

"Jeongyeon!"

"Jihyo! I need to do this, I mean it. If you won't help me then I'll ask Mina, and if I get another no,
I'll take a bus anyway. It might even take longer and I might arrive on short notice tomorrow, but
I'm going home whether you like it or not."

Jihyo glared at Jeongyeon and scrutinized her critically. It was like she was assessing whether or
not she was serious, but at last she sighed ponderously. Then she looked into Jeongyeon's eyes
again, her frown was still deep and her eyes were still severe as she said the last thing the
goalkeeper ever expected to come out of Jihyo's mouth. "Babe?"

Jeongyeon's face twitched in sheer confusion and she was about to ask what the hell was wrong
with her when a familiar voice answered from inside. "Yeah?"

"How do you feel about taking a road trip tonight?"

Just then Sejeong popped up behind Jihyo, opening the door a little further and looking way more
cheerful than her girlfriend. "Cool, I'm in!"

Jihyo's frown melted away in a matter of seconds as she found her girlfriend grinning. Oh, but of
course Jeongyeon was the whipped one, the goalkeeper thought to herself but didn't say anything.

"You don't have to tag along, Ji. You gotta rest up for tomorrow. I just need your car, it'll be quick
and you know I'll take care of Sally like she's my own." Jeongyeon had always refused to call the
car by that stupid name Jihyo had chosen, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
"If you think I'm going to let you drive for hours all by yourself in the middle of the night you're
sorely mistaken."

"But-"

"We're coming with or I'll make sure you won't go at all. Give us five minutes, we'll change and be
right down."

Only then did Jeongyeon realize what was really going on. Or rather, what was probably happening
before she knocked on the door. Jeongyeon looked away as she noticed that Jihyo was barely
dressed and her hair was a mess. Sejeong wasn't much better, she was wearing a robe and if the
flush in her cheeks was any indication, Jihyo's bad mood was pretty much explained.

"Oh shit- I didn't know, I mean, sorry. My bad." Jeongyeon stammered out an apology as she
turned redder than the lipstick marks on Sejeong's neck.

"It's fine." Jihyo brushed it off as she felt Sejeong's arms wrapping around her waist. Jihyo took the
car keys from the keychain behind the door and handed it to Jeongyeon. "Five minutes and we'll
meet you downstairs. I mean it, okay? Don't go without us."

Jeongyeon nodded and hurried downstairs to wait for the couple. Hours later, in the middle of the
night, they were halfway driving to their hometown. As expected, Jeongyeon had to explain at least
part of her plan to Jihyo. She wanted it to be a surprise, but since she was getting help she couldn't
afford to retain some information.

"Fuck, you really are perfect for each other, aren't you?" Jihyo pointed out over the music coming
out of the radio.

"How so?" Jeongyeon asked lightly, keeping her eyes on the road.

"Jeong, you always used to overthink every single thing while Nayeon had the impulse control of a
five-year-old. But now you're the one who's doing things on the spur of the moment while Nayeon
keeps overthinking! There is something terribly wrong going on with the world right now, I'm
telling you."

"You're an idiot." Jeongyeon snickered but she agreed nevertheless, she and Nayeon really were
perfect for each other. "And she doesn't overthink, okay? She just grew into a more responsible
person. By the way, you should be thankful for that because the chances of us ending up in jail
again have dropped drastically."

"I hate the smitten version of you, Yoo Jeongyeon." She playfully fisted the driver's arm.

"No, you don't."

"No, I don't." Jihyo chuckled and pondered for a second longer. "But I'm happy for you, you
know."

"Yeah, I know." She tried to bite back a smile. "I'm happy for you too." Jeongyeon sincerely added,
nodding back to signal the back seat where Sejeong was dozing off.

"She's pretty great, isn't she?" Jihyo wrestled awkwardly with her seatbelt so she could turn around
and look back. Jeongyeon stole a brief glance at her best friend trying not to take her eyes off the
road for too long, but that was enough for her to catch the warm fondness wherewith the captain
was watching her girlfriend.
"Looks like it." Jeongyeon mused aloud. "I mean, who would've thought that you would actually
find someone just as keen as you and willing to go on a short notice road trip with a couple of
crackheads to the middle of nowhere and furthermore, in the middle of the night without asking a
single question?" She barked out a laugh. "She must be really crazy about you. The things we do
for women, you know."

Jihyo didn't answer right away. She looked like she had gone somewhere else, deep in thoughts and
still staring at Sejeong as if she hadn't listened to a single word Jeongyeon said.

Jeongyeon caught out of the corner of her eye when Jihyo eventually turned back forward. She also
caught the way she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt, but she didn't say anything.
All Jeongyeon did was happily smile to herself and focus her attention on the next turn as she felt
her chest warm up and her own happiness growing upon seeing her best friend so content.

"Well," Jihyo finally spoke up as she came out of her daze. Her tone was light and humorous as she
tried to play it cool. "Let's just hope Nayeon approves of her, then."

"What do you mean she still hasn't??" Jeongyeon laughed like that was the most ridiculous thing
she ever heard. "She told me she likes her."

"Yeah, but you know her. She keeps saying she needs to spend some time alone with Sejeong. To
be honest, she just wants to give her the shovel talk and see how she'll react. Or as I like to call it,
she wants to put the fear of God into her and see if she'll stick around." Jeongyeon chuckled and
Jihyo shrugged, took another brief glance back but this time sporting a dopey smile. Then she
turned to the driver, leaned closer and dropped her tone. "Just between us, I think she's a little afraid
of Nayeon. It's funny how hard she tries not to get a single second alone with her whenever we
hang out."

"As she should." Smart girl, Jeongyeon thought. Jihyo finally met a good one.

"This one over here is what you asked for." Jeongyeon's dad handed over a bag. He was waiting for
them by the porch even though it was the middle of the night since Jeongyeon had called before
she left Yonsei to ask for what she needed and also to let them know about her hurry. But the way
her mother just agreed without asking any further questions made her feel like they somehow knew
exactly what was going on. "And the other ones are for the rest of your team. Our gift for the
amazing campaign you guys are running this season. "

"That's great. Thanks, dad."

"I'm sorry we can't make it to your match. We gotta run the restaurant, you know."

"I know, it's fine. The girls will be thrilled about your gifts anyway, Nayeon and Jihyo are always
talking about your food."

"Good." She tried to reach for the bags, but her father wouldn't let go just yet. "So, if I'm not
mistaken, the day after tomorrow- or well, tomorrow, is what I think it is, isn't it?" Jeongyeon
searched his face as she caught the smirk on his voice. Found him smiling knowingly at her once
their eyes met.

"Yes, it is." She cast a shy smile back and looked away. "And you already know that."

"Great. Good luck, kid." He pulled her into a hug before letting her go. "Both on your match and...
well, on whatever you're planning, too. Give us a call, alright? Let us know how it goes."
"I will, I promise." She thanked him once again and started walking back toward the car. "I love
you."

"Love you too." He replied as he waved her goodbye.

"Bye, Mr. Yoo!" Jihyo shouted and waved back all the way down from the driveway. She had
rolled down the window and was sitting on the car door.

"There's people sleeping, babe. Tone it down." Sejeong called her out, pulling at her pants to get
her back into the car.

Sejeong insisted on driving on the way back so that the other two could rest for the game, but
Jeongyeon couldn't shut her eyes for a second. She was too restless to take a nap, but that wasn't so
bad because for the first time she had a chance to spend some "alone" time with her best friend's
girlfriend while Jihyo was fast asleep in the passenger seat.

"What's happening tomorrow?" The question popped up suddenly, so it caught Jeongyeon off
guard. "Sorry, we kind of overheard your talk with your dad."

"It's cool. Don't worry." Jeongyeon, who was controlling the radio with her phone, turned the
music down a bit so they could talk. "Tomorrow is Nayeon's birthday."

"So I can assume it has something to do with why we're here?" She guessed and Jeongyeon nodded
as their gazes quickly met in the rearview mirror.

"It's our birthday tradition." She looked down at the small box on her lap. While the rest of the
bags were spread out beside her in the back seat, that particular box she made sure to keep safe and
sound with her. "When Nayeon was a kid she really liked this brand of candy. Well, not exactly this
one. This one was made by my dad. But only because the original brand was discontinued and my
parents are like gods in the kitchen, so he was able to replicate the recipe when she first told us
years ago. Now ever since then he always makes one of these for her on her birthday."

"That's very thoughtful." Sejeong smiled warmly, and politely asked, trying to strike up a
conversation with the other girl. "When did it start?"

"That was..." Jeongyeon frowned thoughtfully and looked away as she thought about it. "Well, we
met at twelve, so since then."

"Wow, that's a very long time."

"It sure is." She absently replied. Stared at the window as she got lost in her own head, feeling her
chest grow warmer as realization slowly hit her. "Damn, it's been ten years." She murmured softly
more to herself than to Sejeong as kept an unfocused gaze on the road.

"Are you okay?" Sejeong asked. Or at least that's the question Jeongyeon heard, because
apparently she had said something before that went unnoticed.

"Yeah, I'm just- I'm sorry, I was thinking."

"Anything you want to share?" Jeongyeon cast a brief glance at the passenger seat just to check if
Jihyo was still asleep.

"It's just that we've known each other for ten years now. And that's... a very long time, like you
said."
"It is." Sensing it wasn't all she had to say, Sejeong nodded for her to continue.

"And yet it's not nearly enough." She kept going, unable to stop herself. "Like, there hasn't been a
single day in these past ten years where I haven't thought about her. And I'm sure that no matter
how many more are ahead of us, I know they're going to be the same because she's the best person
I ever met. She's like..." She shook her head trying to find the right words. "Unmatched. She's
everything I've ever wanted and at the same time I just know what I want because I know her."
Jeongyeon paused for air, she was almost panting but the thrill coursing through her veins urged
her to keep going. "Shit, I know it sounds weird, but it's both wonderful and kinda scary to know
that nobody will ever hold a candle when it comes to her. To be so sure that she's it for me, you
know?"

There were a few seconds of silence where the words seemed to hover over them. Jeongyeon
almost felt constrained to ramble like that to someone she wasn't that close yet, but then she looked
over to catch Sejeong basically staring at the sleeping form next to her. She saw the honey dripping
from her eyes and Jeongyeon couldn't bring herself to feel the slight bit of embarrassment.

"Eyes on the road, driver." She snickered and Sejeong blushed right away, mumbling an apology.

"I'm sorry." She cleared her throat and nodded purposefully. "But I get it. I- I guess I do understand
what you mean."

"Hey, no judgments. You can stare as much as you want, but only after we get home safely
because you won't be able to win Nayeon over if you end up killing her two best friends at once."

"Uh, so Jihyo told you about that..." Sejeong's cheeks grew even redder, but instead of answering,
Jeongyeon changed the topic.

"You really like her, don't you?" She asked even though she already knew the answer.

"Of course I do, I like her a lot." Sejeong didn't hesitate. "I'm pretty sure I love her, actually."

"Good." Jeongyeon nodded and tried to deepen her voice for what would come next. "Because if
you hurt her..." She trailed off and Sejeong waited, but she didn't say anything else. The volleyball
player cast a brief glance at Jeongyeon over the rearview mirror as if she was expecting her to keep
going, but the goalkeeper really had no idea what she was doing.

"That's all?" Sejeong prompted.

Dammit, Jeongyeon cussed to herself, Nayeon never once had to complete that sentence, why the
fuck didn't it work the same with her??

"Look, I don't know, okay? I'm not good at this. Nayeon is the one who usually does this part, I
was just trying to make her proud."

At first Sejeong tried to bite her lip and keep herself from snickering, but when her eyes met
Jeongyeon's once again she couldn't hold back. She broke into a hearty laughter and only managed
to get a hold of herself when Jeongyeon said she would wake Jihyo up if she kept it going, but
inevitably the goalkeeper ended up laughing as well.

"Say what, if you tell Nayeon that you already gave me the shovel talk and get me out of her
interrogation, I promise you I'll keep taking good care of Jihyo and as a bonus I'll also pretend that
you did a really good job scaring the shit out of me."

"I knew you were smart, Sejeong, I just didn't know how much." Jeongyeon patted her shoulder.
"You've got yourself a deal."

"Sana?? What the fuck?"

"Calm down, it's just a cast." Sana raised her arm up in the air. "Wanna be the first to sign it?"

"Thought you said I'd be the first to sign it once your arm stopped hurting?" Momo mumbled from
the back.

"Oh, that's great! And it's hurting, to top it off." Jeongyeon snorted in frustration. "Would you
mind, I don't know, maybe telling us how the fuck that happened??"

"Don't worry, babe." Nayeon popped up behind Jeongyeon, reached out and patted her back in
order to calm her down. "It's fine, I'll explain it later."

"How the hell is that fine??" Jihyo squealed, just as flustered as Jeongyeon or probably more. "Our
championship game is happening in a few hours and our lead AM has broken her fucking arm.
And here I was thinking that the worst thing that could've happened today was me and Jeongyeon
not getting a good night's sleep!"

"First of all, it wasn't my arm. It's just my fist, alright?" Sana started as if it'd make the situation
any better. "Second, I didn't break it, it just... pulled it out a little bit. And last but not least, yes it is
hurting, but only a bit, you know. I'll be fine."

"Really?" Jihyo ironically asked. "And what happens if someone fouls you in the field and you use
that hand to break your fall?"

"Well, I like to think that I'm smarter than that but we won't find out unless it happens." Sana
shrugged and simply carried on, handling the whole thing like it was no big deal.

"We won't find out-" Jeongyeon echoed but stopped mid-sentence. She was walking back and
forth, torn between the worry and the urge to smack Sana. "Fuck, Sana, you might be okay now but
you could end up getting really hurt if something goes wrong. One wrong move and it's over for
you!"

"It's gonna be fine!"

"How can you be so sure??" Jihyo pressed.

"Can you guys please listen to her?" Momo chimed in.

She was sitting in the back of the locker room checking her backpack to make sure everything she
needed was really there and Jeongyeon couldn't fathom how she could possibly be so calm when
her newly injured best friend wanted to do something potentially dangerous and downright stupid.

"She knows what she's doing and she's gonna be just fine." She said it as if there was no other
alternative. As if she had seen the future and was absolutely sure that nothing could ever go wrong.
Momo and Sana also shared a brief glance, the kind where they'd always have entire conversations
without words. Then Sana nodded and that was enough for Momo to look back at Jihyo. "Just trust
her, Cap. It's Sana we're talking about."

There were a few moments of silence filled with whispering all around. The squad wasn't complete
yet, but it was getting close to the scheduled time for their pre-game gathering, so probably half of
the players were already there. A few more were just arriving in the locker room amidst that
commotion, all gearing up and getting ready to head to the actual stadium where the final match
would take place.

"Shit, why on earth do only Jeongyeon and I look worried?" Jihyo broke the silence and glanced
around with her hands placed on her waist. Glaring daggers at their teammates and looking
seriously annoyed.

"Well, it's like Momo said, it's Sana we're talking about..." Yerim took it upon herself to speak on
behalf of them, but her next words sounded more like a question than a statement. "I can't say we
expected this, but it doesn't surprise us either?"

"That's my brand." Sana not only winked, but also shot fucking finger guns at Yerim. Then she
groaned in pain and regretted making the move with her injured hand as well.

"But I mean, we need her, so…" Yerim added and shrugged even though she chose to ignore Sana.

"Exactly, we need her." Nayeon finally spoke up. "We all know she's our best playmaker and she's
also one of our best options on set-pieces, so I'm sorry but that's not up to discussion. If she says
she's fine, she'll play." Nayeon put her foot down as a part of the coaching staff. Her tone really
made it clear that the matter wasn't up to debate, but still, she couldn't help but cast an apologetic
glance at her two best friends who still looked troubled.

"I'm fine!" Sana claimed once again. "I've worked my ass off to earn my starting spot this season
and I'm not going to let all my hard work go to waste because of a single hitch! If Coach puts me in
I'll do my best out there, none of you have to worry."

"You better." As if she had been summoned, Bae's voice echoed through the locker room. She had
just walked in and found her captain looking agraved, her best goalkeeper worried and the rest of
the team torn between amusement and apprehension. "Sana, my dear rising star." She walked over
to the midfielder. Her tone was too mild to be normal, which for that exact reason sent chills down
Sana's spine. "I don't know how the hell you managed to hurt yourself like that when I specifically
asked all of you not to do anything stupid." The coach came to a stop beside the japanese girl,
slipping an arm over her shoulder pulling her closer. "But I don't care either. Not as long as we win
this shit tonight. Now, if we lose, once your hand gets better and you get back to practice, you'll
wish you'll break a bone every three months so you'll never have to come back on my field again,
are we clear?"

"Yes, ma'am." Sana gulped but once again plastered her best smile on her face. "Don't worry,
Coach. We're going to bring it home even if I have to break my whole arm to bag the win."

"Good." Bae replied with the same threatening tone. "But no, don't hurt yourself anymore. That's
an order too, alright? Try not to ignore this one like you did with the last."

"I'm so-"

"Anyways," Bae raised her voice, interrupting Sana's apology and letting go of her altogether. She
also clapped to dismiss the curious glances from the team. "Let's get going, I want everyone out
there in the parking lot in 10."

Riding on the team bus wasn't mandatory this time since Bae let those who wanted take the drive
by car. The stadium was close and she knew that no one would dare to be late for the goddamned
final. But when Yerim, Dahyun and Chaeyoung decided to hitch a ride with Nayeon and
Jeongyeon, the latter caught herself wishing she was on the bus instead. It was chaos with non-stop
shouting and loud music for thirty whole minutes, but at last they finally arrived safe and sound for
the pre-game routine.

"What happened with Sana??" Jeongyeon asked once she managed to steal a few precious minutes
alone with Nayeon just before the warm-ups.

The day before, Jeongyeon had texted her ex-girlfriend to let her know that she would be spending
the night at Jihyo's, so Nayeon assumed that the captain needed some company because she was
probably too nervous about their final. She would've dropped by the Beach House to keep her best
friends company, but a series of unfortunate events with Sana kept her and Momo busy enough the
night before.

After that, Jeongyeon had slept through the whole morning to catch up on the sleep lost during her
last minute secret trip home, so that afternoon meeting with the team was the first time they were
seeing each other since Nayeon had left her apartment the previous morning.

"Babe, you've missed out on so much action last night!" Nayeon was beaming as she leaned closer
to Jeongyeon. They were in the hallway and part of the squad was already heading out for warm-
ups, so they didn't have much time.

"Seems like it." Jeongyeon smiled at Nayeon's enthusiasm. "Now c'mon, tell me." Nayeon was
standing right in front of her holding both her hands and swinging them from side to side, so
Jeongyeon couldn't resist the urge to pull her closer, leaning against the nearest wall and bringing
their bodies together.

"Hold on." Nayeon looked both ways as if she was about to tell a secret, but once she made sure
that there was no one around her eyes flicked down to Jeongyeon's lips and then back to her eyes
before she tugged her closer by the collar of her jersey.

Jeongyeon's first instinct was to sigh against the soft lips but she had to keep up and cup Nayeon's
face between her hands when her mouth became firmer and demanding. She savored every second
of the experience of kissing Im Nayeon until they finally pulled apart, both breathing harder and
not really having any concept of time.

"I've been wanting to do that all day." Nayeon admitted as she ran her hands up and down
Jeongyeon's sides.

"I missed you too." Jeongyeon let her head hit the wall, relishing on Nayeon's soft touches and
feeling a last kiss being placed on the corner of her mouth.

"Okay, now back to business." Nayeon pulled away a little but Jeongyeon kept her arms around
her. "Long story short, Sana kind of got into a fight."

"Kind of got into a fight!?" Jeongyeon looked down at her with widened eyes. "What do you
mean??"

"Yep. With Mina's ex, nonetheless. Her former roommate." She started good-naturally. "Well, I
don't know if we can even call it a fight because she just blabbed out some shit and got punched,
the way God intended. But yeah, that's pretty much it." Nayeon concluded, looking up and
wondering as if that's really all there was to it.

"Wait, but Mina's roommate??" Of all the things Jeongyeon was expecting to hear, that definitely
wasn't one of them. "Wasn't she in Japan?"

"Mina thought so, but apparently she was wrong." Nayeon mused for a moment longer. "Oh, and
she kind of gave me some sort of stalker vibes, to be honest. Glad she got what she deserved."

"Damn." Jeongyeon pondered aloud, shaking her head in amusement. "But why did Sana punch
her? I mean, not that there's no reason to because that girl has put Mina through a lot, but what
happened? You said she… blabbed out some shit?" She frowned trying to remember the words.

"Oh, we went out last night and ended up running into her. Apparently they had met before, but I
don't have all the details yet. It was a mess, but the whole thing is more complicated than that. I
think we'd better talk to Sana or Mina later because I really want to get the whole story."

"But she's okay, isn't she? I mean they, both Sana and Mina."

"They're great, don't worry." Nayeon cracked a big smile. "Sana's one win away from taking Mina
on a date."

"What??"

"Yeah."

"But- wait?? Mina's not going out with Sana if we lose??"

"No, no, they're still going out anyway. But if we don't win tonight, Mina's the one who gets to
take Sana out on a date."

"That's..." Jeongyeon made a face. "That doesn't even make sense."

"I know, they're weird. And I'm pretty sure Sana has a betting addiction at this point, but that's a
topic for another day." Nayeon matched her energy. "Anyway, I guess they're working things out
now, so I'm happy for them."

"Yeah, me too." Jeongyeon nodded. Still, she wished she could just talk to either of them already
and get the whole story already.

"Hey, I almost forgot." Nayeon clicked her tongue. She looked up at Jeongyeon with a mix of
curiosity and concern. "What did Jihyo mean when she said you guys didn't have a good night of
sleep? Was she that bad?"

"Oh." Dammit. Jeongyeon really didn't want to lie, let alone about something so silly. She tried to
think quickly, but a loud whistle outside cut the air between them like a knife. Saved by the bell,
thankfully. Well, kind of. "We can talk about it later, I gotta head to the warm-up now. But don't
you worry, okay? I promise you we're fine." She pushed herself away from the wall and ran her
hands over her jersey to smooth it out after having Nayeon pressed against her. "Now how about
you give me a good luck kiss?" She flashed her most charming smile.

"You don't need that." Nayeon taunted, but her facade didn't last more than two seconds when
Jeongyeon pouted. "But I'll give it to you anyway."

With the ball of the game held firmly between her hands, Jeongyeon fell to the ground in the left
corner of the goal she was protecting.
She had clinched the win by saving the last penalty shot, sharp and clean. Surgically, that's how
the local newspaper would put it the next day.

No, she didn't palm it, didn't push it away, or anything like that. She really was holding the ball
safely between her gloves, like the real champ she was.

Barely believing what had just happened, she managed to stand up slowly. Still stunned, still
holding the ball and looking at it as if she had never seen a latex rubber circle before. Shit, she
would definitely be taking that ball home, she thought to herself. She would put it on display on a
shelf of its own. Show it to generations of children and grandchildren as if it's her own personal
trophy.

But then Jeongyeon raised her gaze and spotted the other player kneeling on the penalty line,
hiding her face in her hands and hitting the ground in frustration. When her vision finally focused
behind her opponent, she caught sight of about twenty women running fiercely towards her.

The scoreboard read 2-2 in regular time, but 5-4 in Yonsei's favor on the shootouts. The match had
finally come to an end and they really had managed take that fucking curse down.

Jeongyeon felt like she could cry. All the months of hard work had really paid off. One of her
biggest dreams had come true and she had played a big role in it. But before she could give it even
a second of thought, dozens of arms were being lunged at her from all possible angles.

Jihyo was the first to reach her and Jeongyeon had to drop the ball to hold the captain when she
took a leap to jump into her arms. Momo was trailing right behind and she started jumping around
them along with Dahyun and Tzuyu who were also swinging her from side to side. Sana was a
little further back, keeping a safe distance due to her injured hand, but she was just as livid as the
rest. But when Chaeyoung jumped on her back while she was still carrying Jihyo, her legs buckled
and her knees hit the worn grass of the box. All her teammates were jumping around not only by
her side but also on top of her.

She wasn't sure how long they kept it going, but eventually the players started celebrating among
themselves. Spreading out and hopping on each other's backs, some of them were already on the
stands celebrating with the crowd and their family members as well as the rest of their friends.
Jeongyeon finally managed to sit down and Jihyo knelt in front of her holding each of her arms,
shaking her roughly and shouting something that looked like "we did it!!!", but a moment later she
was already running to hug Sana, tackling her into the ground and congratulating the person
responsible for the equalizer that took them to the penalty shootout.

Sitting on the cool grass in front of the goal she had been defending, Jeongyeon took off her gloves
and her shin guards as well. She drew a deep breath as she watched the beautiful chaos around her.
Players, coaching staff and supporters running back and forth as if they were experiencing their
own little world cup.

But only then did Jeongyeon realize that she hadn't heard a single word since she had clutched that
ball. Nothing at all. Not the shouting nor the praises. Not the ruckus, not the cheers, not a single
thing. All she heard was the rush of blood in her ears. She knew something was still missing and
she also knew exactly what.

She took a glance at the sidelines and instantly felt a rush of bliss run through her veins instead of
blood. Some members of the coaching staff were still patting each other's backs, but Coach Bae had
just released someone from a very tight hug. She kept a hand on each side of her assistant's
shoulders, who kept nodding eagerly to everything she said. Then Bae finally let go of her to
celebrate with the rest of her crew, and only then did Nayeon turn around, looking for someone on
the field until her eyes fell on her.

"Yet, whenever I score my first instinct is to look at you. Even from far away, from the other side of
the field."

Jeongyeon wouldn't mind if that was the last thing she ever saw in her life. She could write songs
about the smile that took over Nayeon's face when she started walking in her direction.

"It's like second nature to me at this point because as soon as our eyes meet and I see the genuine
happiness plastered all over your face I feel like that was the real goal, you know? It's not about
the ball in the back of the net, it's not about winning. It's all about getting you to smile like that."

That part of the letter had never made so much sense to Jeongyeon because seeing the way Nayeon
was looking at her right now was better than saving a million penalties.

Jeongyeon had never gotten up so fast. The ball she wanted to take home had rolled into the goal
amidst the commotion with her teammates and she knew she should probably get it soon, but that
was the last thing on her mind at that moment. She left everything behind to meet Nayeon halfway
and closed the distance between them by instinct because when it came to Nayeon everything was
like that.

"You were awes-"

Nayeon didn't get to finish because Jeongyeon was cupping her face and shutting her up with a
kiss. It was kind of rough and it almost sent Nayeon stumbling backwards, but in the next second
she was kissing her back as if nothing else mattered. As if they really were the only people in that
entire field- or in the whole world for that matter.

Like clockwork, Nayeon's lips moved flawlessly with her own. Desperately, if she was being
honest, but she didn't really mind. It didn't take long for her to realize that the desperation was all
hers when she chased Nayeon's lips after she pulled back for air.

Perhaps on any other day she would be more mindful of the fact that her jersey was thoroughly
soiled, stained with grass and dirt and sweat. Maybe she'd remembered that she usually wouldn't
feel that comfortable with such a public display of affection amidst so many strangers as well. But
that would be on any other day because tonight was completely different. Right there, at that
moment, when she touched Nayeon again could've sworn the world had come into colors for the
very first time.

Well, colors and sounds, because she instantly heard all the celebrations around her. Her heart
could burst out of her chest at any given moment and she couldn't contain all the happiness within
herself. She only broke the kiss to hug Nayeon even tighter, up until her feet were off the ground.
Her eyes were still closed when she spun her around in the air while the laughter of the girl she
loved stood out over the cheers and jubilation all around them.

"You're all set?" Nayeon asked after throwing their backpacks in the back seat. Hers and
Jeongyeon's, which she insisted on carrying over to the car. Right next to them was the ball
Jeongyeon had saved, now signed by all her teammates and staff, and of course the two trophies
she had won tonight. The MVP for that match and the best goalkeeper of the league.

("Here, I'll take the backpacks and the ball, so you can take your trophies."

"They're not that heavy, you know. I can take it all." She tried to decline but Nayeon was already
taking the backpack off her shoulder.

"I insist. Gotta give you the champion treatment." Nayeon joked and started to move, but
Jeongyeon pulled the back of her backpack making her stop.

"You're a champion too! Or do you want me to take and give back that medal around your neck?"
She snickered, still pulling Nayeon back.

"Jeongyeon, you know pretty well that I am the embodiment of chivalry. So could you please let go
it and let me be a good-"

"A good what?" Jeongyeon smirked when Nayeon cut her own sentence short.

"Just-" She tried to pull again but Jeongyeon's grip was strong. "Let it go, will ya? Please?" She
looked back and pouted. Started walking as soon as she let her go, but not without getting hold of
her hand and all but pulling a smiling Jeongyeon towards her car.)

"Yeah, we're good to go."

Between the unofficial celebration, the actual award ceremony and the long-awaited showers, it
took a couple of hours before the team was cleared to go home. Not that they were eager to get out
of there, what they were really eager to was to get to the celebration they've been meaning to have
since the very start: the victory party at the Beach House.

"Wait, where are the girls?"

"Don't worry, they'll take the bus."

"Well, I know your many awards are going to take up a lot of space," Nayeon slammed the door
shut and leaned her back against the car, pulling on a performance but not hiding the pride in her
voice. "But there's still room for them."

"That's not why they're not coming back with us." Jeongyeon felt her cheeks growing redder, but
she scooted closer to Nayeon so she could caress her face. "I kind of asked them to take the bus
with the other girls."

"What? Why?" Nayeon asked, but paying only half mind because she closed her eyes as she leaned
into her ex-girlfriend's touch. "I know they're loud, but if you had said something I would've asked
them to tone it do-"

"No, no. That's not why." Jeongyeon seized on Nayeon's distraction to take a brief look at her smart
watch. "It's because I want to stop by somewhere else before we head to the Beach House. Would
you mind?"

"No?" Nayeon opened her eyes with a frown, but corrected herself once she realized it had sounded
more like a question than an actual answer. "I mean, no, of course I wouldn't mind. Where are we
going?"

"It's a secret for now, but I promise we'll be celebrating with the girls later. I just need to show you
something first."

"It's okay, babe." Nayeon wrapped her arms around her midsection and pulled her closer with a
wicked grin on her face. She leaned in for a kiss and rounded off with her lips still pressed against
Jeongyeon's. "I wouldn't mind going straight home either if you're in the mood for a private
celebration."
"Don't tempt me." Jeongyeon's words didn't match her actions when she pressed Nayeon harder
against the car and kissed her soundly, but Jeongyeon also took advantage of their closeness to
snatch the keys hanging from Nayeon's jeans. Then she backed away and left her ex-girlfriend
behind, feeling slightly betrayed and pretty hot.

"Hey, those are mine." Nayeon taunted but only half-heartedly.

"I know, but I'm driving." She winked as she made her way to the other side of the car. Once they
both hopped in, she made a point of teasing her once again as she pulled out of the parking lot.
"You do know that no young person walks around with their keys clipped to their belt loops, right?
It makes you look like a dad."

"Keep this up and I'll dump you by the side of the road."

Among all the places Nayeon hoped to end the night, amazingly enough she didn't expect the
rooftop to be one of them. But as soon as she walked in, a nostalgic feeling came over her senses
when she realized how long it had been since they had visited that place.

During their freshman year they spent an awful amount of time up there because they didn't have
the privacy they now had in their current apartments, so consequently they paid regular visits to the
social science building whenever they wanted to spend some time alone. But now, Jeongyeon
pondered just as she had been doing for the last twenty-four hours, that rooftop carried so many
memories that she couldn't imagine doing it anywhere else.

"It'll be quick, I promise." Jeongyeon glanced at her watch again, but muttered a curse under her
breath when she realized there were still twenty minutes left until midnight.

"I'm not in a hurry." Nayeon replied good-naturedly and sat down on one of the beach chairs. "I'm
not that eager to watch Yerim doing keg stands all night."

"Weird, I thought you'd be more likely to join her." Jeongyeon drew closer but didn't sit down. She
leaned against the ledge with her hands tucked inside her pockets.

"Not anymore, I just drink moderately." She closed her eyes, lay back in her chair and nonchalantly
propped her hands behind her head. "You're looking at a brand new woman."

"Didn't you say you drank too much the first night we met up here after you came back?"
Jeongyeon frowned and looked away as if she was scanning her memory. "Oh, and when you
argued with Sana that time-"

"Hey, don't you dare throw my only two slip-ups in my face." Nayeon opened her eyes and cast her
a faux scolding look. "But to be honest I didn't drink that much either time. I guess I just wanted an
excuse to justify my mistakes." She added and stared up at the sky as if she was only now thinking
about it. Jeongyeon didn't know what to say but she didn't have to because Nayeon quickly snapped
out of her introspection and resumed speaking. "But like, I really can't overdo it anymore. Doctor's
orders and all."

"Oh." Jeongyeon's guts clenched a bit. Every now and then she still forgot that due to her current
condition, Nayeon had different habits and boundaries in several aspects of her life now. But as
time went by it was getting a little easier not to act like that's that big of a deal every time. "That
being the case, I'll make sure to keep an eye on you."

"Just because of that?" Nayeon pouted and Jeongyeon had to bite her lip to keep from smiling.
Gosh, she wanted to kiss her so bad. But she couldn't get distracted, Jeongyeon quickly came back
to her senses. She had to stay focused so she looked back at her watch. Her heart started racing and
her hands were sweating with each passing second.

"Hey, earth to Jeongyeon." Nayeon snapped her fingers, but Jeongyeon had no idea what she had
said. "Where'd you go?"

"Shit, sorry." Jeongyeon snapped out of it and squeezed the item she held inside of the pocket of
her tracksuit pants. "What did you say? I think I zoned out."

"You okay?" Nayeon asked and sat back down. "You look nervous."

Nice, Jeongyeon, way to go. You didn't manage to pull yourself together for five damn minutes.
You should've driven a little slower to kill some time, or lingered longer in the locker room, or-

"Jeongyeon." Nayeon called out to her once again, disrupting her thoughts. She was already sitting
on the edge of the chair and looked a bit worried as she repeated the question. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just-" She didn't know what to say. She was too nervous to work her way out of it, so she
simply admitted it. "You're right, I am nervous. Kinda."

"Why?" Nayeon frowned even deeper. She stood up, but still kept a distance. "What's wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong!" Jeongyeon didn't mean to worry Nayeon, so she answered quickly and
took her hands out of her pockets, lifting them in front of her body in a surrender sign as if that'd be
enough to calm her down. However, she had momentarily forgotten about the object she was
holding in one of them. Nayeon's eyes zeroed in on it right away and Jeongyeon felt like punching
herself for being such an idiot. "Oh shit." She rolled her eyes at herself and lowered her hands,
which made Nayeon look up and meet her eyes.

"What's going on?" Nayeon carefully asked.

"Well, fuck it." Jeongyeon muttered to herself before clearing her throat. "Last time I was this
nervous up here was because I wanted to give you this." She raised the ring stuck between her
thumb and index finger again, showing it off as if Nayeon was seeing it for the first time. "I mean,
not exactly this one. I gave you yours, this one was mine, but you know what I mean, don't you?"
She let out a nervous chuckle and scratched at the back of her neck. "But last time I at least had a
cute box and pretty good speech, only this time I don't have a speech nor a box or anything like
that, and on our way here I started thinking that maybe I should've thought of something to say. Of
course the situations are different now, I know. The context is also different and, well, everything
is different, I guess. It doesn't have the same meaning anymore, and to top it off it looks like shit
now because-"

"Hey, wait, calm down." Nayeon stepped closer and held her free hand. She cut her off when she
realized that Jeongyeon was just babbling because she was nervous. "Take a deep breath and slow
down to help me keep up, alright?"

Jeongyeon nodded and complied. Nayeon was standing right in front of her, still holding her hand.
She squeezed it back tightly and steady, straining to get her brain to cooperate with her mouth.

"Sorry, I'm nervous."

"I can tell." Nayeon nodded amusedly and flashed her a reassuring smile instead of telling
Jeongyeon that she'd already said that. "But it's just me, you can talk to me."
"I love you." Jeongyeon didn't think. She just blurted it out without realizing it, but the hearty
laugh she drew out of Nayeon made it worth it.

"I know." She kept smiling, but her tone was lighter and her grin wider now. "But come on, tell
me. Is that what I think it is?" Nayeon pointed to her other hand, which Jeongyeon quickly
stretched out again.

"Yes." She nodded for emphasis. "And I... I want you to have it." Nayeon seemed to be keeping up
now, but she was also staring at the ring on Jeongyeon's hands with an unreadable expression on
her face. Jeongyeon didn't want her to get it wrong, so she thought she'd better clarify. "Not to
wear! I mean, I don't think you could even if you tried. It's just... that's the last item of that box, you
know? I took out all the pictures and we burned the letter together, but this ring- it was still there,
all by itself. But I don't want to keep a box of our memories anymore, I just want to make new ones
with you."

Nayeon didn't say anything. She let go of Jeongyeon's hand to take the ring and scan it, turning it
from side to side. The piece that was once shiny and beautiful was now dull, dim and slightly
crushed.

"I'm sorry it's in such bad shape, you should see the other guy." Jeongyeon tried to make a joke and
plastered a half-hearted smile on her face. "The other guy would be me, by the way, because to be
completely honest with you I guess I was in an even worse shape than this ring."

Nayeon kept quiet. All she did was look up at her again, so Jeongyeon felt like she needed to
explain.

"It looks like shit now because I tried to get rid of it. From all the way up here." She walked across
the rooftop and halted at the edge of the building. Same place she was when it happened. She
turned toward the ledge and tucked her hands back into her pockets as she faced the horizon. "I
was so... upset and so, so angry. It was right after I got your letter, I read it once I came straight up
here. Then I kept reading it all over again until I finally had enough. I took the ring off and flung it
as far as I could, that way." She nodded forward and sighed heavily like she was replaying the
whole scene in her mind. "But then I went home and couldn't shut my eyes all night. I... I can't- I
don't know how to even explain it. I regretted it the moment I lost sight of it, but I was too stubborn
to admit it. Too proud, I guess. But after a couple of sleepless nights I gave in and finally came
back here. Down there, actually, I was there before dawn. I wasn't sure where it had landed so I
spent the whole morning looking for it. To be honest, I had lost all hope already. I was pretty sure
someone might have found it and taken it home, or I don't know, maybe thrown it in the trash, it's
not like I'd still be pretty after that fall. It felt very unlikely to find something so small on the
ground, let alone after a couple of days, but I still found it. In the grass by that tree. It was muddy
and had been trampled on for sure, but I found it anyway."

Jeongyeon fell quiet as she took in her own words. When she finally turned around she found
Nayeon watching her from afar. She couldn't tell what Nayeon was thinking and it was killing her
not to be able to read like she usually could.

"I can't keep it because I don't think I'll ever be able to use it again. Not when it reminds me of all
the promises I couldn't keep back then. Or all the nights I placed it over a pillow on the empty side
of the bed and kept staring at it until I cried myself to sleep." Jeongyeon started to inch closer to
Nayeon in small steps, not quite able to keep her uneasiness in check. "I can't even tell you why I
kept it for all this time. I can't say it's because I knew things would work out between us eventually
or that I knew I'd regret it if I'd tossed it away. I wish I could say that, actually, because I think that
if only I had believed that- if only I had that hope, those dark days would've been easier. But they
weren't. Not at all." Jeongyeon was finding it pretty hard not to break. It was working so far, but
she didn't know how much longer she could take. "All I know is that I couldn't get rid of it even
when I was angry and hurt, so I won't be able to do it now. But I don't know what to do with it
either and if you don't want it I'll understand because-"

"I'll keep it." Nayeon put her out of her misery. "Under one condition." She added and Jeongyeon
was already nodding before she even knew what was. It didn't matter when she would blindly do
anything Nayeon asked. "I keep yours if you keep mine. We trade."

"You-" Jeongyeon opened and closed her mouth a few times, struggling a bit to speak as she pulled
up in front of Nayeon. "You still have it?"

Nayeon caught Jeongyeon by the hand and led her to the beach chairs. Urged her to sit down but
she was still standing when reached into her back pocket and pulled out the plain black wallet she
carried everywhere. All she could keep in there was her card, her drivers license and a small old
picture of her and her grandmother from when she was still a child. Jeongyeon had seen it before so
she was familiar with its contents, however, when Nayeon sat down in the chair in front of her and
opened the wallet between them, she was surprised by the two additional items inside.

The documents were stored in the side compartment and the photos were tucked away in the same
thick plastic on the other side, one overlapping the other in a way that it was impossible for anyone
to see any of them completely. Still, Jeongyeon was able to spot another polaroid further in the
back, and if she wasn't mistaken it was one where Nayeon was squeezed between her and Jihyo -
the same one Nayeon always claimed to hate whenever she visited Jeongyeon's bedroom, only
smaller. And yet, well in front, there was a ring now attached to a simple necklace chain. All
wrapped up around itself and held within the overstuffed piece of plastic, and that's exactly what
Nayeon took out of her wallet before she pocketed it again.

"You just carry it around with you?" Jeongyeon couldn't take her eyes off the other ring. Unlike
hers, it was still in perfect condition. So bright and pristine that Jeongyeon could perfectly see the
inscription inside. Yoo's #1.

"Only to our games." That also took Jeongyeon by surprise so she tilted her head up to meet the
eyes that were already watching her intently. "After you gave it to me I wore it to every game
throughout our freshman year. Hidden underneath my jersey, of course, since we couldn't wear any
jewelry inside the pitch. And I didn't tell you about it because I was sure you'd rant about the
dangers of me hurting myself, but fortunately that never happened." Nayeon carried on with a
bashful smile on her face. "I mean, almost every game, because we had a fight once- one of the
ugliest ones, you know..." Her countenance darkened and her lips twitched into a thin line. "I got
mad and I didn't wear it in that game, but we ended up getting our asses kicked, so after that I kept
it with me in every single match. Even when we weren't doing so well or when we were fighting.
Well, that's until I got myself hurt in that practice, you know how it went down." A wistful sigh
slipped out of her lips. "Once I came back this year I didn't want to try my luck, so I thought I
should just keep it on me just like I did before. So I did, every single game, either in my pocket or
around my neck. And whether it's a coincidence or not, the only game I didn't wear was our away
game against DWU and you know how that turned out." She lightly chuckled as she remembered
that mess. "It wasn't even because I was mad at you or anything like that. I just forgot it at home
because I was tired since I had barely slept the night before. But anyway, after all that I think I can
say for sure that it's like a good luck charm by now. So make sure to take it to our games and
please make good use of it whenever you need it." Nayeon wrapped it up by grinning broadly and
handed Jeongyeon the ring.

"Are you really willing to give up your good luck charm just like that?" Jeongyeon took it but she
could already feel the tears pooling in her eyes. For fuck's sake, why was she like that? She
mentally scolded herself, trying hard to keep her shit together.

"Well, I'm not giving it up. We're switching, aren't we? I'm just replacing it, I'm sure it'll be fine."
She sounded as gentle as one would if they were to explain something to a child, but then she
moved a little closer, her face only inches away from Jeongyeon's as she whispered like they
weren't the only people up there. "Besides, I don't need it anymore. I'm pretty sure I already hit the
jackpot with you."

"Gosh, why do you have to be so good at this?" Jeongyeon backed out altogether, her head falling
back as looked up to hold it all in check: the smitten laugh trying to slip out of her throat; the tears
fighting its way out, pricking at the corners of her eyes; and also the urge to jump the girl in front
of her and kiss her senseless.

"At being corny?" Nayeon giggled.

"At speaking! Voicing your feelings and- and with words in general!" Jeongyeon quipped back in a
slightly high-pitched tone, as if she was frustrated but trying to hold back her laughter at the same
time. "Shit, I knew I should've made a speech."

"A speech?" Nayeon kept on giggling. "Why would you need a speech?"

"Because of this." Jeongyeon got up and reached out to grab a bag hidden in a corner, making
Nayeon arch her brows in surprise since she hadn't noticed it before. Jeongyeon had hidden it up
there before she went to the game with her plan set in mind. Regardless of whether they'd win or
lose, Jeongyeon knew she had to do it tonight. Well, technically she had to wait until tomorrow, she
noted as she glanced at her watch once again. Alright, six more minutes.

"Is that...?" Nayeon asked after Jeongyeon sat back down and took the little box out of the bag.

"Yes." Jeongyeon was grinning as she opened it, revealing Nayeon's favorite cupcake inside.
"Happy birthday, Nayeonie." She was about to lit the candle on the top with the lighter, but she
stopped mid-action when she remembered that there were still a few minutes left. "Shit. Almost
birthday, I guess." Jeongyeon laughed at herself but Nayeon didn't seem to notice. She was still
staring at the box in Jeongyeon's hands with her mouth a little ajar and her eyes a bit confused.

"But how did you-" She shifted her gaze back to Jeongyeon, taking the little cake into her hands.
"Did you make it yourself?"

"God, no. Of course not. I could never do it like my dad, I couldn't risk trying and screwing up the
recipe. Especially not today." She giggled once again. "But I promise I'll learn for next year. Then
I won't have to drive all night again."

"Drive all night?" Nayeon blinked.

"You know last night when I said I was hanging out with Jihyo?" Nayeon nodded. "Well, I was,
but we were in her car, actually. Me, Jihyo and Sejeong. We drove home and back over the night.
That's why Jihyo was saying we barely slept, but that's a lie because she slept the whole way back
here while I kept her girlfriend company." Her tone was lighthearted and amused, she was no
longer feeling as nervous as she had been before.

"You..." Nayeon was splitting her attention between the box and Jeongyeon's eyes, looking up and
down over and over again as if she was still processing it. "You guys... you drove all night just for
that?" Then the realization hit her all of a sudden. "Before our final?? Are you insane??"
"Jihyo said the same thing and in the end she tagged along anyway." Jeongyeon shrugged. "I know
it's not a lot, but since we didn't get to do it last year I wanted to keep the tradition alive."

"Jeongyeon..." She drawled.

"Hey, don't. No tears on your birthday." Jeongyeon tried before she could begin.

"It's not my birthday yet." Nayeon quipped back, but still bearing a weepy voice.

"Then no tears after our championship, please." She urged now that she had managed to hold back
her own. "We still have a party to attend later, you know. Gotta keep the high spirits."

Nayeon set the box down on her lap and wiped her eyes before the tears could fall, but then she
just looked at Jeongyeon for seconds on end without saying anything. Which probably would've
been awkward if it was anyone else, but it was Nayeon, so Jeongyeon just waited with a smile on
her face as she gave her some time to sort out her feelings.

"I..." She took a deep breath and her eyes were still shining with unshed tears when she finally
managed to speak. Not much, but just enough. "I really love you, you know. A lot, like-" She
sighed and shook her head. "A ton."

She did. She really did, Jeongyeon knew. Jeongyeon had always known, even when she didn't want
to believe it.

And even though Jeongyeon loved her just the same - just as sincerely and just as deeply, just as
passionately as well - sometimes she still felt bad whenever she'd remember the times she had
fought herself to change that fact. She had lost count of how many times she had wished she could
feel less for Nayeon. She wouldn't always go as far as saying she didn't want to feel anything for
her at all, but for several times she caught herself wishing she could at least control her
goddamn feelings.

For instance, when they were in their junior year of high school, sneakily exchanging kisses behind
the bleachers like the dumb teenagers they were, Jeongyeon would always lay her head down on
her pillow every night trying to figure out why she couldn't like Nayeon just on a "normal amount".

Why couldn't she just like her as a stupid crush? Or as someone she casually made out with? Or
who knows, maybe just as friends? It'd be easier that way, wouldn't it? But no, she had to really
like Nayeon.

She had to like her as a silly schoolgirl who always put in the effort to make her laugh even if it
was at her own expense. She had to like her as someone who would always go out of her way to
make her feel safe and comfortable with her family. As someone who was willing to do anything
for her. As someone who was so afraid of losing her that she would rather pretend and repress her
feelings than risk putting their friendship at stake.

Thank God Nayeon was braver and confessed first because she didn't know what she'd do if she
didn't. But things changed, they changed and Jeongyeon liked to think that she had grown into a
braver person as well. She finally made peace with the battles raging deep inside her heart. She
came to terms with the fact that she had no power over those feelings, she accepted that the power
lied with Nayeon. And that was fine with her because Nayeon had always taken care of her heart
much better than she ever could.

That is, until she walked away leaving a tangled mess of feelings behind. And there she was
wishing she could control them again. But it was worse that time around because she didn't want to
just control them anymore, she also wanted to forget them, wanted them to be gone altogether. She
no longer wanted to like Nayeon only in a normal amount, she would rather forget that she had
even liked her in the first place because the knowledge that she had Nayeon and still let her slip
through her fingers was too much for her to bear.

Nayeon, of all people, who had loved her and stood by her side even through her worst moments;
when she felt lost and hopeless and wrecked after seeing her greatest dream being shattered right
before her eyes. Nayeon, who was well familiar with the fact that she couldn't love the pain away,
but she was always there and willing to love her though and through the pain.

Nayeon, who always treated her fairly and who had always put her on a pedestal even though she
felt unfit; who always looked at her as if she could do no wrong, as if she was perfect in her eyes.
Yeah, Nayeon would always do all that, she had always loved her right.

So if Nayeon had left her it was because she had really fucked up somehow, hadn't she? Maybe she
had chosen the wrong means, but she was still within her rights to leave her anyway.

And this knowledge kept her up for nights on end because if she had failed the most important
person in her life, who else was she going to fail next? If she couldn't love the love of her life the
right way, the way she deserved, how was she going to be able to love anyone else?

So yes, those were undeniably rough times. She didn't like to think about them, but she still needed
to so could cherish what she had now.

Except that now, in hindsight, with a different perspective and more knowledge about everything
that had happened, Jeongyeon was even more positive that she had indeed made a lot of mistakes.
Just as Nayeon had also made her own but that's all water under the bridge now.

Yet, despite everything, Nayeon never looked at her as if she was anything less than everything to
her. She may have had doubs and even hesitated at times, but she never quit or backed down. She
didn't give up on them and for that Jeongyeon would be everlastingly grateful.

That's because she had a lot of regrets when it came to the way she had dealt with her feelings
towards Nayeon, but the biggest one would always be how sorry she was about all the times she
had wished they were any different. When she begged and cried wishing she could care less,
wishing those feelings could simply be gone for good, because the truth was that she would never
forgive herself if it had ever become true.

Now, after all this time, after all the trials and tribulations, and most importantly, after every
blissful moment as well, she was even more sure that Nayeon was the best thing that had ever
happened to her.

Their love might not be easy nor conventional, and it sure wasn't flawless by any means. But
whenever she heard Nayeon say those three little words - which unlike this time were usually
accompanied by many others because her girl could never keep it short - she felt like the luckiest
person in the whole world. She'd always feel infinite whenever they were together just like she'd
always see forever whenever Nayeon was looking at her the way she was looking right now.

Shit, she knew that would've sounded cringy as hell, but at least she hadn't said it out loud. Except
that she wanted to say it out loud, maybe not in those words but she still wanted to make sure
Nayeon knew.

"You know I've always been a little skeptical about love, don't you?" It wasn't until she uttered that
out loud that Jeongyeon realized that it sounded way better in her head.
"Well, that sure wasn't the answer I was expecting after saying I love you, but that's fine, go
ahead." Nayeon snickered and urged her to continue. She was familiar with that tone of voice, she
knew Jeongyeon was about to ramble and she just loved it when that happened.

"No, that's not what I meant." Jeongyeon also chuckled because she had to admit how bad that
must have sounded. Good thing Nayeon knew her so well because she seemed amused rather than
annoyed, so she figured it was worth a second try. Her mind was too busy with everything she
wanted to say, her heart was so full with the love she wanted to pour out, and she just wanted to
share it all with Nayeon. "I'm talking about this idea of love that the world usually tries to sell. Like
people try to market it in movies and in novels, you know? Like..." Jeongyeon looked away, bit her
lip and mulled it over for a bit, trying to figure out the best way to explain exactly what was going
through her head. A second later she snapped her fingers and looked up at Nayeon again, grinning
when she found her watching with her with affectionate, attentive eyes. "Soulmates!"

"Soulmates?" Nayeon's eyes widened in amusement, a smile developing on her lips.

"Yeah! Can you believe this shit?"

"Don't you?" Nayeon asked, genuinely interested.

"Do you??" Jeongyeon questioned skeptically and Nayeon shrugged.

"I'm not sure." She answered sincerely. "I guess I never really thought about it."

"I don't buy it." Jeongyeon accepted Nayeon's answer but she resolutely voiced her opinion. "I don't
believe it because this idea that the universe has already chosen the perfect person for you and will
work relentlessly for you to find each other and be together regardless of anything seems pretty
unrealistic to me." She added in an unwavering tone, also reaching for Nayeon's hand before
carrying on. "Because I've been thinking about it and most of the time it ends badly, you know?
Like, what if this universe or whatever it is, said that we should be with other people. That even
though we chose each other we don't belong together because we didn't wait for a sign, or a mark,
a click, or whatever, before we fell in love with each other?"

A cold shiver ran through her body at the mere thought, but Jeongyeon gave her own words some
more thinking before continuing. She stared at their intertwined hands as she caressed Nayeon's.

"What I do know is that we're not here because some unknown force has moved heaven and earth
for us to be together. Nobody ever made it easy for us. Nobody picked on our behalf or anything
like that. We chose each other and we're here today because we keep doing so despite everything.
And I'll keep choosing you over and over again, because I know you'll choose me too." Jeongyeon
looked up but kept absently playing with Nayeon's knuckles. "Or like..." She racked her brain
trying to find something else to prove her point. "Love at first sight."

"Oh, this is going to be interesting." Nayeon muttered to herself, stifling a laugh and gesturing for
her to continue. "Please keep going."

"What I'm trying to say is that I didn't fall in love with you at first sight." Jeongyeon also struggled
not to laugh.

"Well, thank you." Nayeon mocked.

"And neither did you! I'm not the bad guy here."

"Yeah but I didn't dislike you at first sight either, unlike you!" Nayeon charged but the smile on her
face betrayed her words.
"You were a very obnoxious preteen, babe, let's be honest." Nayeon made a comical outraged face
and threatened to interrupt, but Jeongyeon raised her voice to carry on before she could quarrel.
"But that was good because what we had was much better than love at first sight." Nayeon's frown
melted away and her eyes softened, but she still tilted her nose up and waited as if challenging
Jeongyeon to keep going. Which Jeongyeon promptly did, smiling as she uttered what were
probably the most sincere words she had ever said. "Because it was an amazing experience to fall
in love with you little by little. I may not have loved you as soon as I laid my eyes on you, Nayeon,
but today I can confidently say that every time I see you I fall in love a little deeper."

A beat passed and Nayeon was now looking at Jeongyeon with bright doe eyes. Honestly, Nayeon
was feeling like she was on a roller coaster of emotions right now. She didn't know exactly what
Jeongyeon's purpose was, but she was somehow managing to make Nayeon want to laugh and cry
at the same rate.

It was so endearing to see her talking about whatever was going on in her mind, so lighthearted and
lively as she tried to get her to see the world through her eyes. She really loved to see her ramble
about anything at all, but the fact that it was about them made Nayeon's heart soar.

And the funny part was that everything Jeongyeon was saying made perfect sense to her. Maybe
not everyone would like to hear the person they love saying that they didn't like you at first sight
or that they didn't believe in soulmates, but not Nayeon. Not when she knew that what she and
Jeongyeon had was much bigger than that.

"You're just trying to make me cry at this point, aren't you?" Nayeon finally managed to muster an
answer, though her voice was drawn out with emotion.

"No." Jeongyeon giggled again. "I'm just trying to show you how I'm sure our love is unique." She
tightened her grip on Nayeon's hand and stared at the little box on her lap. "I really believe what
we have is one of a kind so maybe that's why all this other stuff doesn't make much sense to me.
Because you're the only kind of romantic love I ever knew and that's really all I need, so I wouldn't
have it any other way."

Their knees were touching and Nayeon could feel Jeongyeon's right leg swaying nervously now.
Apprehension was rushing through her veins again once she noticed she needed to get back into
more serious ground.

"There's a lot I don't understand yet, Nayeon." She kept avoiding eye contact. "I don't think that
one day I'll be able to look back on the past like you do. I'll never be able to see everything we've
been through just as a setback or a necessary evil. I don't know, I can't even take it as a life lesson
or anything like that."

Jeongyeon's voice was shaky, but she drew in a deep breath to finally admit what was still keeping
her up some nights. Ready to lay it out and hope that Nayeon would understand that they won't
always look at things the same way.

"I hate it, to be honest. All of it, every single part. I hate every fight and misunderstanding that led
to our breakup, I hate all the horrible words we spit at each other in moments of anger, I hate that
you were sick and I wasn't there too. I hate every moment we spend apart and I really wish I could
go back in time to make it all different but I know I fucking can't. I can't and I get it, but I also need
you to know that I'm still trying to wrap my head around it."

Nayeon gave her hand a gentle tug, so Jeongyeon finally raised her gaze to meet her ex-girlfriend's
eyes. Or soon to be a former ex-girlfriend, if all went well.
 "I know I said I wouldn't dwell on the past anymore so I promise this is the last time I'll bring it up,
but I really need to do this right now." The ring she had just traded with Nayeon lay in her free
hand, the string of the necklace wrapped around her wrist, and she clasped the object between her
fingers. "I'm really sorry if I ever made you feel like you were hard to love, but I swear that loving
you was the easiest thing I've ever done; and coincidentally it's also the one thing I don't know
how to stop."

"Jeongyeon-"

"Hold on. Just a little longer." Jeongyeon interrupted, although not unkindly. Took one last look at
her watch and noticed it had been several minutes past midnight. She didn't understand how all of
sudden time started to fly by, but it didn't matter anymore because she could finally take the box
from Nayeon's lap and lit the candle. She held the cupcake between the two of them and looked at
the birthday girl in anticipation. "I know it's your birthday, but I granted you one of my wishes a
few years ago, so I was hoping to get it back now." She chuckled nervously. "Can I have your
wish?"

Nayeon really wanted to say something, but she didn't trust her own mouth right now. Not when
Jeongyeon was looking at her like that - kind, caring and loving, and yet soft and nervous and a
little desperate. So she did what she could and felt a stray tear rolling down her cheek as she
nodded.

Jeongyeon closed her eyes and leaned over to blow out the candle. When she opened them again
she realized that her face was only inches from Nayeon. She had a soft smile playing on her lips
and Jeongyeon also smiled knowing that she got it. She knew, of course she did. She knew what
was coming next. After all, everything about them had always been a matter of when, not if. Still,
she was following the script and Jeongyeon loved her for that.

"What did you wish for?" She quietly whispered.

"You." Jeongyeon's smile grew even wider. She never meant something so much when she added,
"Be my girlfriend, Nayeon."

Chapter End Notes

and scene. close the curtains, the show is over.

or not, because i'm currently writing a short epilogue but idk when it'll be posted.
maybe i won't even post it because i really liked how this one turned out. but i do plan
on keeping this story alive through eventual oneshots because i'm not ready to let it go
yet

about the misana spinoff, it won't be a oneshot anymore. i'll write a short fanfic
(maybe 10 chapters? idk, i'm still working on it) but i wanna write the whole thing
before posting it, and since i also have to write my senior thesis next semester it might
take a while but if you're still interested all you have to do is subscribe to the series
because i'll happen one day

anyway, thanks a lot for sticking with me through this journey and i really hope you
had as much fun reading as i had writing. it's been an honor you guys. until the next
one.
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