GLORIA

I laid on my back while my phone was thrown somewhere around the bed as I received
Dr Lucy's call, "I need an award for being the one that connected two broken souls
together" she giggled sounding more exasperated than irritated. After his shower,
Damian went to his office, and I promptly received her call.

“Nothing to be happy for. We've both being through alot. I just felt I have to give
it a break now that I'm five months gone " I signed and rolled off the bed to grab
a handkerchief.

“I mean it” She sighs heavily, “When the insemination went wrong, I thought Alpha
Damian would want me to resign for the mistake or he would take it to the higher
ups or would want me to take responsibility of you and the child, but since he was
the one hose sperm was mistaken. But now that I'm seeing how much the two of your
are determined to be glued together for life, Like seriously wished I make these
kind of mistakes again and again" She groans.

I wish I could argue with her assessment of the whole turnout, but I know she’s
right. Damian and I never planned it to be this way after the campaign dinner, the
fights and struggles when Brian was still drunk with rage and power, everything
seems to be going too miraculously impossible so I felt she's right about it.

Dr Lena however continued her explanation, “So now that we're on this topic, have
now made up your mind to accept Alpha Damian and be with him even after you deliver
the child? You seems to have got rid of your fear, so what are you waiting for?"

“Can’t you see that’s the problem! I don’t even recognize myself anymore.” I
exclaim, rubbing my sore neck. “I have spent my whole life hating in the werewolves
and now that I'm pregnant with one, I don't know what to do I mean it"

“I know! Because that’s all you ever talk about anymore.” She bursts, interrupting
me. “Do you have any idea about what he might also be going through if you're still
acting this way? Just ask him questions. Just anything you want to know, he's
already taken it upon himself to love you right?"

Her words sting, and I realize she’s right. I have been so wrapped up in my own
fear of Werewolves and I don't even imagine what Damian might be passing through. J
came back from Magical Castle and met him in an accident and Gamma Tony in coma,
yet all I was wondering was my last grudge. Perhaps this is how things was destined
to turn out. "So did you think I should stay after giving birth to the child? Even
if he loves me, I'm still human"

“Stop that thinking Gloria, He will be the one to decide if you are going to stay
or leave and with the way he's treating you right now, we can see that he's deeply
and madly in love with you sis" She snaps, sounding more than a little petulant.

Perhaps Dr Lena is right, a voice in my head chimed in.

"So you have to just believe him and things will continue to be fine" She concluded
before saying, "I even forget, why don't you visit the hospital these days? It's
been ages since i saw you and I won't get to hear your voice If I didn't call?"

"So that's the reason you called?” I hiss. “People are trying to kill me. Alpha
Damian's ex that bitch drugged and attempted to rape the father of my child when I
was gone. Dr Edward was the only one I had to lean on so things has been so hectic
that I can't even leave the house under Damian's instruction!"

“I never asked you to do that!” Lucy argues, “I was just trying to tell you that
you can still call me when you're free right? And your ex husband, why happened to
him?"

“Don't mention that mutt" I growl. “i heard he's the reason why Damian and Brian
were in an accident. Even though he's also injured, we haven't caught the real
perpetrator"

“Then maybe you should visit him someday. He's still your first husband and as long
as I can remember, you two didn't get a divorce right?" Lucy ask defensively, “He
has to hear from you, perhaps he would still snap back to reality”

Nausea seizes my stomach, and I clench my eyes shut. Talking of Gabriel turns my
inside out “You know what I went through in order to support him when I was still
married to him?" I finally say, my voice hoarse. “That bastard aborted my child!!!
He almost destroyed my womb and almost destroy my soul, did you still think I
should have hold on to him?"

A shaky breath vibrates against the receiver, and Lucy’s voice is small when she
speaks again. “You know that isn’t what I meant…. I was just trying to say,
you're still human like you said earlier, Gabriel has been ditched by Dorcas and I
heard Alpha Damian was going to save him from jumping into the sea when he got to
an accident, perhaps you can help Gabriel again"

“And I would have never forgiven myself if I do so because he doesn't deserve it! I
have shown him the human in me but he still turned me down blatantly.” I share,
even as a wave of sorrow swells inside me to learn how much she was right that
Gabriel and I never got a divorce. “Why haven’t you ever said this to me before?”

“Because you’ve never been willing to talk about it and you don't call me.” Lucy
scoffs. “I suppose everything is now right? Dr Edward said your mental condition
has be on hiatus since you came back from the magical castle.”

“He's right.” I acknowledge truthfully. “I think maybe that’s why this is all so
hard for me. I feel so… raw. I don’t think I’ve ever been so emotionally
vulnerable, and I don’t have the first clue how to cope.”

“I can tell.” She laughs. “And it’s not your fault that you never learned how to
handle feelings Gloria, but you also have to take responsibility for learning now
that you recognize the problem. You do realize this is why you’re having so many
issues with Damian, right?”

“No, it’s that our situation is insane.” I object pointedly. “It’s not like this
isn’t the first time I’ve been in love.”

Oh my goddess, I think belatedly. I’m in love. I admitted that I was falling for
Damian a while ago, but this is the first time I’ve been able to acknowledge that I
passed the point of no return – even to myself. I’m not just falling, I’m
completely in love with Damian, and avoiding a relationship with him isn’t going to
change that.

“I swear Dear, if you call your relationship with that little weasel love, I will
come over there and smack you right in that beautiful face of yours.” Lucy
threatens, completely serious.

“Hey, I know it wasn’t great in the end, but it’s not like it started out that
way.” I defend, wondering if I’m being honest even as I say the words. “I did love
him.”

“Gloria, let me ask you something. Did you ever feel even a fraction of what you
feel for Damian, for Gabriel?” She inquires.
I pause. It’s been so long since I even thought of Gabriel, and I’ve been in such
deep denial about Damian that I haven’t even considered comparing my feelings for
the men. As soon as I think back on the relationship, I see the truth glaring back
at me, “No.” I exhale sadly. “Never.”

“And why do you think you believed you were in love with him for all those years?”
She presses. “Why do you think you let him treat you so terribly?”

I grimace. “Because I didn’t have the first idea what a healthy relationship looked
like?” I suggest.

“Bingo.” She agrees. “That little shit preyed on you from day one – we were just
too young and inexperienced to realize it at the time.” She has the grace not to
say “I told you so.” The fact is that Lucy tried to warn me about Gabriel more than
once over the years, but I was too stubborn to listen to her. Instead she
continues, “I wish I could go back in time and kick him in the balls before he
could ever introduce himself to you.”

“Me too.” I chuckle, shaking my head.

“Now the real question is: What are you going to do about Damian, now that you’ve
figured all this out?” Lucy asks sternly.

“What can I do?” I question, feeling very overwhelmed all of a sudden. “I mean, so
what if I do love him? So what if my baggage is causing all these mixed-up
feelings? That doesn’t change the situation we’re in. I can’t make myself a wolf,
and I can’t make him a human or non-alpha – I probably wouldn’t even if I could,
because then he wouldn’t be the same man I fell for.”

“Are you sure you’re not just trying to protect yourself from getting hurt?” Lucy
questions. “I mean I know you’re in hot water with the campaign and everything, but
is it possible those are just excuses?”

The gravity of our circumstances looms above me, and I know that we made the right
decision. Even so, I’m woman enough to admit that my sister isn’t wrong. “I think
it’s both.” I murmur sadly. “I have been afraid, and I haven’t trusted him. But
Damian and I don’t have the luxury of being selfish – we’re going to be parents,
he’s going to be a king. Our responsibility is to the pack and our baby – not our
feelings.”

“That’s fair.” Lucy concedes. “But is knowing that enough to help you move forward
and stop torturing yourself?”

“I don’t know.” I moan. “It just feels so unfinished. We never even talked about
our feelings… I mean, he tried and I…”

“Ran away?” Lucy surmises. I hum in confirmation, and her voice takes on a
sympathetic note. “I’m afraid if you don’t make peace with the decision, you’re
going to keep being confused and indecisive, Dear. You need closure.”

“I wish there was some way for me to get it without making things worse.” I agree.
“I mean if I tell him, knowing Damian he’ll go all angry on me and insist we can
find a way to make it work… assuming he even loves me back.”

“Hey, he’s not the one that’s been avoiding this.” Lucy reminds me. “At the minimum
you know he wants you. And I wouldn’t discredit him without even giving him a
chance to prove you wrong, Gloria. You’re making excuses again.”
“Maybe.” I sigh.

“Maybe definitely.” She snorts.

Suddenly, as if a lightbulb goes off in my head, I realize there might be a way for
us to steal a night together. “Lucy, I just remembered! Wolves can meet in their
dreams. I accidentally called Damian to me once. He said it that he once saw me in
his dream too when I was kidnapped, so I was thinking maybe if I can figure out how
to do it again, I can tell him and we can be together – without complicating
reality.”

“That’s amazing!” She exclaims, “Do you think you can figure it out?”

“I don’t know, but I’m certainly going to try.”