LinkedIn
DMs Review
by Yurii Veremchuk
99% of LinkedIn DMs are really bad.
yet... 1000s of DMs are sent every day
Let’s have a look at 3 LinkedIn DMs
and see how those can be improved
1st DM Review
Hi Yurii,
Glad to be connected with you,
I’m Lin from ACME* – we are a leading software creative studio and trusted partner to top
brands like Sony, SoftBank, Panasonic, Mitsubishi, and Nissan. We have a strong team of
over 1,500 engineers in Vietnam, specializing in areas such as AI & Machine Learning,
Quality Assurance & Testing, Cybersecurity, and Data Management.
I came across your profile and was really impressed by the innovative work you're doing
in your product.
I am wondering if we can have a chance to support your technical scaling with our senior
engineers from Vietnam. Our teams offer high-quality delivery, flexible engagement
models, and cost efficiency – all while working in sync with your preferred hours.
Would you be open to a quick 15-minute call to explore potential synergies? Let me know
what time works best for you.
1. Way too long!
LinkedIn Dm ≠ Cold Email.
Cut it in half, or better by 75%. Make it look
like a text message, that way it feels less
salesy or automated.
Write without paragraphs, make it short &
punchy, no cheers/regards
2.It's super generic + irrelevant social proof
we are a leading software creative...
I came across your profile...
I am wondering...
me... me... Where’s the YOU?
always focus more on YOU, than ME
3.Choose the correct social proof
we work with Sony, SoftBank, Panasonic, Mitsubishi,
and Nissan.
well, great. When I’ll be a CEO of billion dollar
corporation, I’ll consider this...
Always, pick the proper companies for a Social Proof.
A solopreneur got different companies/peers she looks
up to, big brands mean nothing
My Rewrite
Hi Yurii - saw you’re building Swipely only with 2 people.
Thought of plugging some coding freelancers to help you
build & ship faster?
2nd DM Review
Hey Yurii,
Just wanted to share some exciting news -- I’ve published
my 1st book called ABC!
It’s a practical guide for people loke you who want to take
control of their revenue growth and close more high-ticket
deals.
I’ve been really grateful for the early response. It’s already
received 50+ five-star reviews on Amazon, and some great
feedback from founders who say it’s helped them rethink
their sales approach.
Let me know what you think!
1. Generic + No clear hook
“people like you” doesn’t feel personal
Why should I care about your book?
It feels more like a broadcast, but not a
LinkedIn message
2.No CTA at all.
“I’ve been really grateful for the early
response”
“Let me know what you think!”
1 CTA per DM is optimal, 2nd best option is
no CTAs at all.
This CTA is just too passive & generic for me.
My Rewrite
Yurii — congrats on Demandbase’s top 100 sales creators.
I just dropped a book on high-ticket sales - helping top
creators turn content into consistent pipeline.
Could be useful as LinkedIn keeps evolving. Want the link?
3rd DM Review
Hey Yurii, I like how you've set up your profile.
Was wondering if you've nailed your newsletter strategy like
you have your revenue one?
Asking because I exclusively help large-audience founders like
Matt Barker build their newsletter engine and drive consistent
revenue from it.
Is this something you're currently working on?
1. Overall, it’s a decent DM
Not a bad CTA, fairly short, but....
2.Lack of research
“I like how you've set up your profile.”
3 seconds later...
“Was wondering if you've nailed your
newsletter strategy like you have your
revenue one?”
Have you seen any link to a newsletter on my
page? Because there’s none.
3.Lead with “I can help you do it”. but research...
Do the research if that’s relevant at all.
My Rewrite
Yurii — your content’s sharp. It made me wonder why
haven’t you translated it into newsletter engine running
when you sleep. Helped Matt Barker turn his content into
5-figures/mo newsletter just in 6 weeks. Something you
considered working on?
Bonus
Good Example +Tips
What Good DM looks liks
Yurii — noticed Woodpecker dropped 3 spots on G2 this
month. If pipeline conversion’s felt slower, this might be
part of it. We help tools like ACME bounce back without big
revamps. Worth exploring?
1. Starts with a relevant observation
Woodpecker has slipped in G2's rankings by 3 positions
Show that you’ve done the research. It
takes your cold email to another level
2. It has an impact statement and makes the
prospect feel something. Call it an emotional
“Oh Sh*t” moment
If pipeline conversion’s felt slower, this might
be part of it.
3. Gentle Closed CTA = Good
We help tools like ACME bounce back without
big revamps. Worth exploring?
Yes/No questions that invites you to start a
convo. Beautifully done.
Templated DMS
don’t work in 2025
Always, try to be relevant first.
Never personalize your DMs
just for personalization sake.
Show what’s in it for them. Never focus on
your features, no one cares about those.
Show what problem you can help your
prospect solve right now.
“We’ve built an onboarding and analytics platform that
enables company leaders to save hours and allocate that
time to have an impact on the bottom line”
“We can help you decrease the new SDRS ramp time
by one-third.”
Pro tip
use 6th grade reading level, simplify words
+67% Source: Lavender
performance of emails with 6th grade reading emails
“Worth a chat?”
“Not sure if that’s of importance right now”
“Maybe my psychic skills are off, but
still...Open to exploring this?”
“No rush but is this worth exploring? ”
Not sure it’s a fit, but is this worth a
conversation?
Open to learning how they're doing it?
Found it useful?
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