The Tale of the

Necromancer King
 Jester Jimmypuff
 Muscle-bound knight with a long sword and shield riding
on a horse
 Damsel in distress
 Dragon
 Necromancer
 Young lovers
 Witch
 Old man
 Devil, Demon and Yugoloth
 Corrupt Priest
 Angel
 Thief
 Ranger
 Little girl
 Dog

Narrator: Once there was a happy island kingdom ruled by a kind and
benevolent king (the necromancer takes the stage and blows kissed to the
audience amid offstage cheers). The king was a great healer and loved his
people very much. (Little Girl, Dog, Old Man, and Young lovers come on stage
and gather around the Necromancer)

Little Girl: (in a cutesy little girl voice) Please kind king, my doggie is sick,
help him! I think he is dying! (Dog lays on the ground whimpering)

Necromancer: I will help you because I love animals and children too.
(Chants the words "Anatra hebtos argara optis motis abare barious levtis!" and
Dog springs up licking Necromancer as the little girl jumps up and down)

Little Girl: Thank you! Thank you! (Dog barks happily and runs around Girl
and Necromancer)

Young Lover Jill: (Approaches Necromancer crying while Jack stumbles in

circles) Please kind and loving king! Help my husband! He is an idiot and
cannot do anything right! (Jack steps on Dog and gets bitten)

Necromancer: I will help you because I want my people to be happy and

productive and not idiots! (Chants the words "Anatra hebtos argara idioptis
motis abare barious levtis!" and Jack straightens up from being hunched over
in pain)

Young Lover Jack: I think I will go study Trigonometry, Anatomy, Biology,

or... (eyes Jill) Gynecology. Come honey!
Young Lover Jill: Thank you my Lord! (She and Jack leave the stage quickly
arm in arm)

Necromancer: (Looks at Old Man ) And what would you ask of me old man?
(The Old Man just stands looking at the sky and Necromancer approaches
closer asking louder) And what would you ask of me old man?! (The Old Man
just stands looking at the sky and Necromancer approaches very close asking
again louder in the Old Man's ear) AND WHAT WOULD YOU ASK OF ME OLD
MAN?!

Old Man: (Looks at Necromancer surprised) I'm deaf! Can't you tell?!
(Necromancer falls over then slowly rises)

Necromancer: I will help you because the old should lead healthy happy lives!
(Chants the words "Anatra hebtos argara oldus elderus motis abare barious
levtis!" and the old man just stands there waiting. Necromancer looks at Old
Man and asks him, clearly irritated) What else is wrong?

Old Man: (Looks at Necromancer) It's my back! Can't you tell?! (Necromancer
stumbles back agast, then shakes his head in disbelief while looking at the
audience) By the way, don't break the fourth wall!

Necromancer: (Straighting up) I will help you because I want you to get out
of my sight! (Old Man breaks vicious wind then Necromancer chants the words
"Anatra hebtos argara flachulus lumbarus motis abare barious levtis!" and the
old man slowly starts to pace about as the Necromancer watches him bored.
After half a minute, the Necromancer looks at Old Man impatiently as the
elderly puppet slowly makes it off stage and then taps his foot in disapproval)

Old Man: (Looks back at Necromancer) What?! I was twice as slow before!
What do you want from me?!

Necromancer: (Begins chanting "Anatra hebtos argara oldus elderus

DEADis..." and the old man surprisingly picks up his pace)

Old Man: (Speaking to the audience through wheezes and pants as he hustles)
I.....sure....am........glad......I.......can.........hear.........again.......

Necromancer: Now you're breaking the fourth wall! (Begins chanting

"ungratefulus smartalecus..."

Old Man: (breaking into a labored run to reach offstage) Thank you my Lord!

(Necromancer stops chanting and laughs loudly as the lights dim then come up
on a village scene with a swamp and the Mount of the Damned with
Necromancer's Castle atop it as fluffy white puffs of cloud pass by and a happy
sun rises as the lights come up)

Narrator: The king loved his people and the people loved their king...

Old Man: (slowly making his way onstage along with the other puppets) I
don't LOVE him, but I am thankful!
Narrator: (clears his throat) Well....most people loved their king. (The old man
grunts and nods his head approvingly) The people were at least happy and
lived well for a long time. Then, one day everything changed....

(The stage is bathed in red light as Dragon flies low over the audiences' heads,
scorching the puppets on stage. They all run in panic except for Old Man)

Narrator: Old Man! Why don't you run?

Old Man: (Scratching his head) Run? Why?

Narrator: Because there is a huge dragon about to eat you alive!

Old Man: Really?! Where? I guess I am going blind too! (he starts to move off
stage and is then set on fire which makes him stop and ask the audience) Is it
getting hot here? (The dragon then swoops upon him and eats him)

Dragon: (With a gulp) Ahhhhhhhh! People who break the fourth wall are even
tastier!

(The lights fade on the scene with the dragon spiting flame in every direction)

Narrator: Now the people were in real trouble! They tried with all their might
to tell the king their about predicament, but it was of no use. The king was too
busy with his own study to notice the plight of his people and every person that
tried to go up the mountain to tell him was eaten. Soon there weren't many
people left. But, by luck, a stranger came along...

(Onstage Dragon lounges about with various pieces of clothing strewn about.
In a blast of flame, he spits out a small boot and burps. He then perks up at the
sound of approaching hooves)

Knight: (Riding onto stage from the back of the theatre) Where is it?! I heard
there is a dragon here!

Dragon: (Looking perplexed) What?

Knight: A dragon! I heard there was a dragon befouling this town!

Dragon: Oh yeah! I heard about that too! I think he left.

Knight: For where?

Dragon: I'll tell you on one condition.

Knight: What? I'll do anything to find him!

Dragon: (Pointing to his mouth with his wing) Get this piece of food out from
in between my teeth. Then I'll tell you.

Knight: OK, I'll do it. (The dragon opens up his mouth and the knight looks
inside) Wait a minute....

Dragon: What?!
Knight: Do you have a toothpick?

Dragon: No, just do it quick.

Knight: Ok, hold still.... (he reaches inside the dragons mouth producing a
shoe and holds it up in front of Dragon) This it?

Dragon: Yeah, thanks!

Knight: (Waits a few beats) So, are you going to tell me?

Dragon: No.

Knight: (Whining) Why?!

Dragon: Because people taste better when their upset!

Knight: Oh, I see. (and the dragon burns him for a beat then swallows both
horse and rider in one gulp)

(The lights dim on the dragon settling down and beginning to sleep with smoke
puffing out its nostrils)

Narrator: But what the dragon didn't notice is that another hero had made his
way to the town...

(A dim spot like moonlight falls on Ranger in the balcony. He peeks at the
dragon from between the rails and says to himself)

Ranger: There he is. I must hurry and tell the king of this. (He then climbs the
rail, jumps on the wall then climbs over to the stage and drops down silently,
sneaking past the sleeping dragon. Dragon snorts and spits a stream of flame
that Ranger narrowly avoids, then continues on his way)