CHRISTIAN DATING

Question: "What does the Bible say about dating and courtship?"
Answer: Although the words 'dating' and 'courtship' are not found in the Bible, we are given some
principles by which Christians should be guided during the time prior to marriage. The first thing that
we must consider that we should separate ourselves from the world's point of view on dating, because
God's vision contradicts the world's (2 Peter 2:20). Society tells us that we must have so many dates.
as we want, passing through as many people as possible. Instead, we must discover with what
We are establishing a relationship before making a commitment. We must know if the person
has been born again in the Spirit of Christ (John 3:3-8), and if you share the same desire to be like Christ was
(Philippians 2:5) Why is this important for finding a partner? A Christian person must have
be careful not to marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14-15), because this can weaken your relationship with Christ,
or compromise their morals and standards.

When one is committed to a relationship with someone, it is important to remember to love the Lord above
any other person (Matthew 10:37). To say or believe that the other person is your 'everything' or that they are the most
important in your life is idolatry, which is sin (Galatians 5:20, Colossians 3:5). Also, do not defile your
body having premarital relations (1 Corinthians 6:9; 2 Timothy 2:22). Sexual immorality is not
only a sin against God, but against your own body (1 Corinthians 6:18). It is important to love and honor
to others as to yourself (Romans 12:9-10), and this is certainly a truth both for dating and for
the marital relationship. Following these biblical principles is the best way to have a solid foundation for the
marriage. It is one of the most important decisions you will ever make, because when two people
They melt into each other and become one flesh, which must be permanent and inseparable.
(Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5).
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF CHRISTIAN DATING
I. You shall love God more than your partner

Believers who are in a dating relationship should ensure that they maintain their first love.
For God and that the best of your time and devotion will be dedicated to Him. Be careful not to make your partner a
idol (Exodus 20:3-5)
The goal of dating is marriage
Every dating relationship has as its unique and final objective holy marriage. When a couple decides
starting this relationship is because both have understood that they are committed to spending the rest of
their lives. That's why a relationship shouldn't be started if there hasn't been a reasonable time of acquaintance beforehand.
mutual, through a close friendship.
III. You shall not fornicate

The Bible says that the believer must flee from fornication (1 Corinthians 6:18). Christian couples should
stay away from sin. Sexual relationships before marriage are a sin that will bring
negative consequences for the couple.
IV. Avoid being alone together
In order to avoid exposing themselves to a sinful situation, couples should avoid being alone in one place.
this effect, it is better to always be accompanied by friends or family or by a person who can serve as
chaperone.
V. Show mutual respect
Respect, along with love, forms the foundation on which every marriage relationship is built. That is why the
dating is supposed to be a stage of harmony and excitement, and when the lines of disrespect are crossed, then
The couple is laying the groundwork for failure. Where there is no respect, there can be no relationship.
healthy, nor lasting.
VI. Talking about sensitive topics
Like any relationship, sensitive issues (if there are any) must be discussed with openness, transparency, and respect.
When uncomfortable topics are avoided, it is very dangerous for the future. Sooner or later.
What is not resolved through conversation will be a cause for discussion and crisis.

VII. Save money

As part of the preparation for a possible wedding and for the formation of a future family, it is important
save money. In this sense, if both are working, they must agree on regarding the accounts,
expenses and savings. For better financial results, both must be committed to
carry it out.
VIII. Find a mentor
As part of the preparation for marriage, it is vital that the couple can have a
a person (or a married couple) who can serve as mentors and to whom one can be held accountable. These
people must be mature Christians with a good testimony to guide their future partner during courtship and
marriage. For the task of mentors to be effective, one must seek the greatest sincerity and
transparency from the couple. It is also recommended to have premarital talks so that the future
the couple can have a broader and more objective perspective on the decision they have made.

IX. Get to know your partner's family

Understanding that all families are different, it is important to try to get to know your partner's family.
Above all to parents, siblings, or the person who represents their authority. Although in some cases this
An authority figure can be an older brother, grandparents, or uncles. Whatever it may be, it is beneficial to have.
a close knowledge of the relatives, since when a couple gets married, they establish a relationship with the new
family.
X. Having clear expectations
Clear expectations prevent misunderstandings and disappointments. That is why, as part of dating, it is necessary
talk about the expectations they have of each other. This way, both can know what to expect and what not to expect
when they reach marriage. In this sense, it is very important to clarify what the expectations are regarding
about money, the children they want to have, the frequency of visiting family, etc. From there, they can
establish agreements and thus a number of conflicts and disappointments will be avoided.
 QUESTION FOR YOUNG WOMEN: WHAT IS LOVE?
1.- Love at first sight: False! That is not love, rather it is an impact or a crush at first sight, it has to
to see with a physical or chemical attraction.

2.- Love ends: False! Love does not end.

1 Corinthians 13:8 / Love never fails
3.- Love is a feeling: False! Love is a decision based on convictions, it is something rational, it is a
action, no one is naturally born to love other people who are not our family because human beings
is sinful and bad by nature, one must choose to love.
THEN WHAT IS LOVE?
The question should not be 'What is love?' but rather 'Who is love?'

Love is good because God is love / 1 John 4:8 / Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Love / agape / affection or benevolence; feast of love

The nature of God is Love
If the source of your love is God himself, that is fine, but if your love is only 'eros' / passionate,
sexual, erotic is not useful, because this love is subject to emotions, but if you love with the AGAPE of God you will have
firm and unshakable convictions.
The Bible says the following about love:
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 / Love is patient in all things, and is always kind.

He who loves is not envious, nor does he believe himself to be better than anyone.
He is not proud.
It is not rude or selfish.
One does not spend life remembering the bad that others have done to them.
Do not applaud the wicked, but those who speak the truth.
The one who loves is capable of enduring everything, believing everything, hoping for everything, bearing everything.
Only when you love according to God's parameters will you make the person next to you happy.
Are you single? Then don't ask this:
Who will I be dating? or Who will I marry?
Better said: I don't know who my girlfriend will be, nor who I will marry, but in the meantime, I will prepare to love her with
all my being with the love of God and when I arrive I will be a blessing for her.

NOW YES, WHAT IS DATING?

It is a serious commitment between two mature people of opposite sex, it is something normal, it is something good, the man
and man and woman were created for each other, to marry, to be in company, the Bible says that the woman
she is the perfect companion for man.
Genesis 2:18 / Then God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'
and I helped him.
God's plan is for most people to get married, unless it is due to some serious illness.
gift of continence or a prophetic, missionary, or other ministry.
For Jews, dating is a marriage pact called 'kidushín' = 'sanctifications', which is when the two...
they sanctify, consecrate, and set themselves apart for one another. By pledging their word, they are already bound to one another,
That is why this step is also called 'erusín', from the verb 'aras' = 'to tie'.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF DATING?

1.- To know each other deeply on an emotional and spiritual level, not on a sexual one.

2.- To love each other with the holy AGAPE of God.

3.- Enjoy healthily, share with the bride's family and with Christian friends.
4.- Growing together in the ways of God.
5.- Preparing for Marriage.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DATING AND COURTSHIP?

Christians should not "date," because this term means an informal relationship and moreover it is not
Biblically, dating is very dangerous, especially if it starts at a young age; many young people begin.
dating in secret and as Christians that should not be, because that is lying, our parents should be the
First to know what we do, Christians should have a relationship with purpose, since a relationship
Sentimental without a clear goal is a relationship that is headed straight for failure. Before starting a relationship, it is
it's good to get to know the person, to establish a friendship with them, we can call this stage pre-dating, once
When there is security in feelings, one should not take longer than a month to formalize it into a relationship.

Christian Courtship
Courtship as it is practiced today is really a human invention. In the Word of God, there is no
the word 'courtship' is not mentioned, nor is there any reference to a relationship between a man and a woman or a similar dynamic
to courtship as it is understood now.
The words 'Bride' and 'Groom' appear in the Old Testament to refer to those who enter into marriage.
at a wedding. In the book of Songs, the word 'friend' is used, but it is not a 'girlfriend' as it is known.
now, but it refers to the wife.
Where does the concept of dating as it is used today come from? The idea of dating in the world arises
from the concern of 'knowing well' the partner before making the decision to marry. In this article
we will talk about Christian dating.
Given that marriage is 'forever' and divorce is 'a calamity', the need arises to provide
safe steps and establish a period of mutual understanding to avoid mistakes in the choice of
future spouse.
The 'Christian courtship', if it can be called that, aims to know the will.
from God regarding the future definitive union of the couple. More than seeking to 'know deeply the other
"persona" (which, by the way, never happens even after many years of marriage), the boyfriend
Cristiano and his Christian girlfriend must be attentive to the voice of God at all times during their relationship.
couple.
They must pray continually and seek God's will and be aware that a couple's relationship that
not taking God into account is destined for failure. When both walk in the will of God during their
courting, it is not necessary for them to 'know each other completely and thoroughly,' like in the courtship of
world, but rather we walk in faith and hope towards marriage, with the confidence that God will support and
will bless your relationship.

How to know God's will in 'Christian dating'? To begin with, it is important to mention that a yoke
unequal is not the will of God. That is, if your girlfriend or boyfriend is not Christian, I can assure you that God does not
And enjoy that relationship. If you want blessings in your courtship and later in your marriage, seek your partner in
the people of God.
Of course, your unconverted boyfriend or girlfriend can be evangelized through you, but you will have the problem of
to ensure that this conversion is sincere and that it is not done out of personal interest to keep it alive
relationship. There are many cases where the boyfriend or girlfriend who is not converted accepts Jesus as a 'requirement' to
get married, but once they achieve the goal of getting married, they never set foot in the church again.
In any case, even if their conversion is sincere, you will need a lot of prayer, fasting, and patience to
that your newly converted partner gradually changes their customs and traditions inherited from the world,
with the consequent pain that it will cause you during the process and surely also in the development
Emotional well-being of your children. Again, if you want full blessing, seek for your partner to be Christian.

Another important aspect to know God's will in 'Christian courtship' is the degree of peace that you
You feel in the relationship. Ask yourself, do I have peace with my girlfriend(boyfriend)? Do I have any concerns about the future?
from my relationship? Is there something that especially disturbs me at certain moments in my relationship? If you don't feel
Peace in your relationship surely God is telling you that it is not His will for that courtship to continue.

There is no peace in a couple that has frequent arguments, emotional outbursts, and scenes of jealousy.
“probar la relación”, o altibajos continuos. Si tu relación sufre de estos conflictos, en verdad te digo que es mejor
being alone (Proverbs 21:19). Solomon calls his beloved wife 'friend' and 'companion' in the book of
Songs, which gives us an important clue: engagements with peace are generally those whose first
the approach was a relationship of friendship and companionship.

If there is no friendship prior to the dating relationship, there is a risk of having a relationship based on a
feeling of superficial attraction, based purely on physical desire or based on fantasies that respond
to personal needs or deficiencies (or even frustrations) at a purely emotional level. Women
who disqualify their friends as possible boyfriends are wasting valuable opportunities to have a...
a harmonious couple relationship and, above all, with peace.

Although you may not believe it, another important aspect to consider is parental approval. Parents have
are placed by God as authority over the children while they are not married, and they are the most
indicated to give an opinion on the matter. Parents have life experience and will always seek the best.
for their children. The Bible says, 'What man of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if
If he asks for a fish, will he give him a snake?
When your parents' opinion is contrary to yours, the Enemy will surely whisper to you, 'do not listen to them,'
They know what? But be careful! Control your own pride, do not give space to the devil in your mind, and do not
disregard the advice of your parents (Proverbs 1:8); pay close attention to what they say, for there is
loving guidance and honest answers to your questions about whether it is God's will to maintain your dating relationship.

Is there blessing in your dating relationship? Is there material and spiritual provision? Are you taking steps forward?
as a couple on the path of God, are they going backwards? Is there spiritual growth in their journey together? Is their
relationship leads them to obey God more, to draw closer to Him or is there pressure from one side to
Disobeying Him and staying away? These are good indicators to know God's will in your relationship.
Finally, the 'Christian courtship' looks at the heart of the other person, not at superficial aspects. Ask yourself
What attracts you to your partner: their physical appearance, their social status or friendships, their lifestyle, their
ministry, his fame, his money? Certainly these are superficial and temporary things that sooner or later
they will end. Look for things that endure and withstand the passage of time, notice first of all that your partner
love God with all his strength and honor his parents, for his love for God and his parents will surely
It will reflect a sincere and faithful love towards you.

You also love God above all things, so He will bless your relationship and you both will have the
correct priorities. An apostle often said: 'Do not sacrifice obedience for communion', which
applied to dating it would be: 'do not sacrifice obedience to the Word of God for having a better communion with'
your partner". For example, if you stopped going to church because your girlfriend wants you to spend "more time together"
then you would be sacrificing obedience for communion, and I assure you that this situation will not bring blessing
to your life, nor health to your romantic relationship. If you love your girlfriend(boyfriend) more than God, then rest assured that
Sooner or later you will lose the person you love so much. But if both love God, then they will be able to walk together.
together, because the priorities will be right in their lives and they will be able to have true communion of
couple. First of all, observe where your partner's heart is, as it will give you a good indication of their will.
of God. We can see all these aspects in the story of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24), although of course the
The Bible shows us in that account an extreme case, but very revealing. Neither of them knew each other before.
to join, but for them what mattered was the will of God. Rebecca was docile and obeyed the voice of the Lord, and
he agreed to leave his family and the world around him to go with the messenger of Abraham, who before seeing
the physical beauty of the girl took into account her good heart, for she not only gave him water,
but all his camels without him asking.
Both were from the same kin (from the same people of God) and both families agreed on that.
union. There was material and spiritual blessing at all times. When Isaac saw Rebekah, he took her to the tent of
his mother, the Bible says that 'he loved her', which means he fell in love with her. In these times it would seem crazy:
How did he fall in love with her without knowing her? Ah! God is wise and knows all things and placed love in
they.
So don't be afraid, He will never give you a partner that you do not love, He knows your preferences and desires better than you do.
He will always give you the best for you and will cover, even, all the other aspects of physical attraction and affinity.
If you seek the Lord and His will in your relationship, He will show you the way, you just have to be
Attentive to his voice. With all this, I do not mean to say that a 'Christian relationship' is one that is free of problems, and
that everything is perfect and pink, much less when it comes to marriage. But if both put in
put God first and seek His will, you will know what to do regarding your relationship and
they will make the best decision for their lives. Remember, your decision to marry your girlfriend/boyfriend should not depend
How well do you know your partner, if not how much do you know about God's will for your dating relationship.
This way you can approach marriage with confidence, security, without uncertainties or fears, and you will be able to see the
blessing in your home, in your children, and in everything that God allows you to live in the future