Love Y

Love YLove Your Children

Love YLove Ythe Right W
the Right Wthe Right Way
ayay
by Panyananda Bhikkhu
eBUDDHANET!
B""# L$BRARY
E%&ail' bdea(buddhanet)net
Web *ite' +++)buddhanet)net
Buddha Dhar&a Edu,ation A**o,iation $n,)
L"-E Y"UR CH$LDREN THE R$.HT WAY
BY
PANYANANDA BH$##HU
Tran*lated /ro& Thai to Engli*h by
Poli,e 0a1or .eneral !o&2ra*ongk Prathnadi
"riginally 2ubli*hed a*
3 Buddhanikho& Chiang 0ai
$!BN 4567894)87:78
;ir*t Publi*hing< A2ril =:::
Publi*hed by
Buddhanikho&
Wat U&ong
A&2oe 0uang
Chiang 0ai 9:=:=
Tel) >:9?@ =557=68< =5?744:
With hel2 /ro&
The Centre /or the Long Li/e o/ Buddhi*&
Wat Chola2rathan Rang*arit
A&2oe Pakkred
Nonthaburi )))=:
Tel) 98?76=6?< 9867?:56
Y
PANYANANDA BH$##HU
TRAN!LATED BY'
P"L$CE 0AA"R .ENERAL !"0PRA!"N.# PRATHNAD$
Pre/a,e
$
$
C"0P"!ED TH$! B""# +hen $ +a* in Chiang 0ai< +here $ lived /or
): year*) $n &y +ork there< $ ob*erved &any 2arent* +ho had ,hildren
but kne+ nothing about ho+ to rai*e there beloved ,hildren 2ro2erly *o
that they +ould gro+ to be good ,itiBen* o/ the nation) When $ thought
about thi* &atter< $ *tarted +riting an arti,le ,on,erning 2arent*C re*2on*ibility
in rai*ing their ,hildren)
0y arti,le +a* read aloud in broad,a*t* /ro& the Wor Por Thor
radio *tation in Chiang 0ai) The arti,le gre+ to ?: ,ha2ter*< ea,h ,ha2ter
giving *2e,i/i, advi,e about the 2arent*C dutie* in rai*ing ,hildren)
Thi* arti,le ai&ed at giving guidan,e to 2eo2le on ho+ they *hould
/un,tion a* 2arent* to their ,hildren< ho+ their ,hildren are i&2ortant
/or the ,lan and /a&ily< *o that then they +ould kno+ ho+ to rai*e their
,hildren 2ro2erly and have the& be,o&e virtuou* ,itiBen* living in *o,iety
a,,ording to religiou* 2rin,i2le*)
When the arti,le had been broad,a*t over the radio *everal ti&e*<
&any audien,e* be,a&e intere*ted in the *ub*tan,e o/ the arti,le *o that
later on it +a* 2ubli*hed a* a Thai language book titled DRak Look Hai
Thook Tang<E &eaning DLove the Child in the Right Way)E -ery *oon the
book be,a&e 2o2ular< and it +a* re2ubli*hed &any ti&e*) 0any 2arent*
told &e they a22lied the &ethod* given in the book to tea,h their ,hildren
and ,ultivate the& +ith religiou* virtue*) A* a re*ult< their ,hildren gre+
to be,o&e good 2er*on* and u*e/ul &e&ber* o/ our *o,iety)
There +a* one &an living in Wa*hington< U!A< +ho ,a&e to *ee &e
and thanked &e 2ro/u*ely /or +riting DRak Look Hai Thook Tang)E The
book had been *ent to hi& by an unkno+n 2er*on on hi* birthday) He
had read the book &any ti&e* and had rai*ed all /our o/ hi* *on* by it*
2rin,i2le*) Hi* *on* had all been born in the U!A< and tho*e /our *on*
had by then /ini*hed their edu,ation and already had 1ob*)
He gave a *2e,ial thank* to &e /or being an i&2ortant 2art in rai*ing
hi* *on*) Thi* i* the eFa&2le $ +ould like to *ho+ you o/ ho+ 2arent*
bene/it /ro& the book) $t *ee&* to be a u*e/ul &ethod o/ rai*ing ,hildren)
Later on< !o&2ra*ongk Prathnadi< a 2oli,e &a1or general living in the
v
U!A< read the book and +a* *o i&2re**ed +ith it that he tran*lated the
book into Engli*h) Un/ortunately< he 2a**ed a+ay be/ore hi* tran*lation
+a* 2ubli*hed) Dr) Phra&aha Chanya !utdhiyano had read the tran*lation
and +a* *o i&2re**ed +ith it that he then de,ided to 2ubli*h the book in
an Engli*h ver*ion) He a*ked &e to +rite the 2re/a,e) $ &y*el/ a& very
2lea*ed to have the book 2ubli*hed in Engli*h)
U!A< read the book and +a* *o i&2re**ed +ith it that he tran*lated the
book into Engli*h) Un/ortunately< he 2a**ed a+ay be/ore hi* tran*lation
+a* 2ubli*hed) Dr) Phra&aha Chanya !utdhiyano had read the tran*lation
and +a* *o i&2re**ed +ith it that he then de,ided to 2ubli*h the book in
an Engli*h ver*ion) He a*ked &e to +rite the 2re/a,e) $ &y*el/ a& very
2lea*ed to have the book 2ubli*hed in Engli*h)
At the 2re*ent< Thai *o,iety ha* been over+hel&ed +ith &any di*ru2tive
and te&2ting ne+ role &odel* +hi,h +ill 2robably *2oil the ,hildren
i/ the 2arent* do not kee2 their re*2e,t and re&ain role &odel* /or
their o+n ,hildren) The ,hildren then +ill &i*behave< a* i* a22arent in
&any eFa&2le* in todayC* *o,iety) $/ the 2arent* are intere*ted in reading
the book and a22lying the &ethod* /ro& the book to rai*e their ,hildren<
it +ill hel2 &ake the /a&ily better and the *o,iety *tronger)
$ a& ho2ing the Engli*h ver*ion o/ the book +ill be hel2/ul /or tho*e
+ho have ,hildren and /or the +orld a* a +hole)
$ +ould like to give a very *2e,ial thank* to the late !o&2ra*ongk
Prathnadi< +ho tran*lated thi* book into Engli*h) Thank* al*o *hould go to
Dr) Phra&aha Chanya !utdhiyanoG it i* he +ho &anaged to 2ubli*h the book)
Phra&aha A&2orn Chutindharo and Ral2h Eaven*on< Pro/e**or o/ Engli*h
at !ierra College< Cali/ornia< U!A< *hould al*o be given thank* /or their ,oo2erative
tran*lation o/ &y Thai 2re/a,e into the Engli*h language)
0ay all /a&ilie* u*ing the book a* a guide in rai*ing their ,hildren
be healthy and ha22y)
Phradha&&ako*a,harn
>Panyananda Bhikkhu@
Wat Chola2rathanrang*arid
Pakkred< Nonthaburi<
Thailand
0ar,h =< =:::
vi
;ro& the Tran*lator
C
;ro& the Tran*lator
hao #hun Phra Dha&&ako*a1arn >Panyananda Bhikkhu@ i* one o/
the &o*t /a&ou* &onk* in Thailand) He le,tured eFten*ively in
Thailand and abroad) Hi* *tyle o/ ,o&&uni,ating +ith the audien,e i*
uniHue even in thi* day and age) When $ look ba,k to the ti&e in Augu*t
)464 +hen $ /ir*t li*tened to hi& giving hi* +onder/ul *er&on on the
tea,hing* o/ the Buddha near !i Yaek #lang Wiang in the ,entre o/ the
City o/ Chiang 0ai< $ re&e&ber vividly ho+ ,a2tivating hi* talk +a*)
;ir*t o/ all< he +a* *tanding in /ront o/ a &i,ro2hone *2eaking +ithout
a note) Thi* +a* the /ir*t ti&e in &y li/e to *ee a Buddhi*t &onk giving
a *er&on like that) To &e it +a* *o i&2re**ive) But +hat +a* &ore
*igni/i,ant +a* that< the *ub1e,t &atter he talked about *ounded very
intere*ting in *2ite o/ the /a,t that it +a* about Buddha Dha&&a< a boring
*ub1e,t /or a boy &y age) At *eventeen< $ had never li*tened to anyone
be*ide* 0)R) #ukrit Pra&o1< a /or&er Pri&e 0ini*ter< and A,harn
0uak Chailangkarn< &y tea,her at the Prin,e RoyalC* College< +ho ,ould
give a *2ee,h *o /luently and +ith every +ord tou,hing &y young heart
like that) Through the entire le,ture $ +a* *o ab*orbed and ,ould not
hel2 thinking Chiang 0ai 2eo2le +ere &eritoriou* 2eo2le) That +a* +hy
Panyananda Bhikkhu +a* there to eF2lain in 2er*on the Dha&&a to the
good 2eo2le o/ Chiang 0ai)
The year B)E) =96= >)444 A)D)@ ha* t+o &eaning/ul event* /or
Panyananda Bhikkhu) ;ir*t and /ore&o*t it +a* the year Thailand ,elebrated
Hi* 0a1e*ty the #ing !iFth Cy,le /or he +ould be 5= year* old
on De,e&ber 9th< )444) !e,ondly< B)E) =96= +a* al*o the year Panyananda
Bhikkhu ,elebrated hi* Dha&&a tea,hing in Chiang 0ai a* a 2art o/
Buddhanikho& /or a hal/ ,entury) He *tarted giving hi* *er&on there
in the year B)E) =64=< on A2ril )?th< )464 to be eFa,t)
$ +a* given an honour to tran*late one o/ hi* &o*t +ell kno+n +ork*<
DLove Your Children The Right WayE) $ /eel hu&ble doing thi* +ork) $
+a* told by #hun Pen,hai !iroro*< the editor o/ Chao Buddha Aournal< that
*he kne+ that there +ere other 2eo2le< +ho +ere &ore kno+ledgeable
than $ +a*) But *he had not been able to /ind any one +ho +a* +illing to
vii
do the tran*lating a* a ,harity +ork and thi* book ha* been in 2rint /or
&ore than /orty year* in the Thai language) A*ide /ro& that< Than Dr
Phra&aha Chanya !utdhiyano< the Dire,tor o/ Panyananda $n*titute< +a*
kind enough to en,ourage &e by giving &e a ,o2y o/ thi* book in Thai)
He +rote in the /ront 2age o/ the book that he gave thi* book to &e to
tran*late it into Engli*h /or the Engli*h *2eaking +orld to read) $ +a*
*o tou,hed by hi* a,tion that $ +a* deter&ined to do the be*t $ ,ould)
Panyananda BhikkhuC* tea,hing *hould be read not only by the 2eo2le o/
Thailand< it *hould be read by other 2eo2le*< +ho *2eak and read Engli*h
a* +ell) The +orld ha* the right* to kno+ +hat he had to *ay about the
+orld +e live in)
$ +ould like to dedi,ate thi* +ork to &y &other< #hun Nai Pradab
Prathnadi< and &y +i/e< !uree Prathnadi) Even though they did not have
&u,h to *ay about &y +ork but $ kno+ that dee2 do+n in their heart*
they *u22orted &e and +i*hed &e *u,,e**)
La*tly< $ +ould a22re,iate any *ugge*tion* that the reader* &ay have
about thi* +ork) 0y only +i*h +a* /or the reader* o/ the Engli*h ver*ion to
be able to en1oy PanyanandaC* +it and /ar*ightedne** a* &u,h a* 2o**ible)
The reader* &u*t be a+are o/ ,our*e that hi* original ver*ion in Thai +a*
&u,h &ore inten*e than $ ,ould have a,,o&2li*hed tran*lating it)
Poli,e 0a1or .eneral
!o&2ra*ongk Prathnadi
?6I== An,hor Drive
;re&ont< Cali/ornia 46999
The United !tate* o/ A&eri,a
viii
Love Your Children The Right Way
PANYANANDA BH$##HU
$ntrodu,tion by the Author
;
;
"R A BR$.HT ;UTURE o/ your loved one*< thi* book on< ,hildren<
+hi,h you are about to read< +a* brought about by the 2re**ure o/
the *o,ial 2heno&ena in the 2re*ent ti&e) A* one o/ tho*e 2eo2le< +ho
have been +orking on 2ro2agating the Dha&&a o/ the Buddha< $ have
travelled all over and have *een *o &any thing*) $ loved to 2onder about
tho*e thing* in order to /ind their ,au*e* and e//e,t*) $n the ,a*e o/ ,hildren
in 2arti,ular< $ thought long and hard) Children in thi* day and age
are di//erent /ro& tho*e in the 2a*t be,au*e o/ di//erent environ&ent*)
$n the old day*< the *o,iety evolved *lo+ly a* it *hould have) But no+aday*<
the *o,iety i* like a rat ra,e all the ti&e) The ,itiBen o/ the +orld
live under /ier,e ,o&2etition in order to +in at all ,o*t*) The 2arent* o/
&o*t ,hildren do not have &u,h ti&e to be +ith their ,hildren due to the
2re**ure /ro& &aking their living thereby ,reating all *ort* o/ 2roble&*)
We hear o/ bad ne+* all the ti&e)
0oreover< &o*t 2arent* have not been taught the Dha&&a) They
have no kno+ledge to tea,h or to train their ,hildren) They o/ten are too
2er&i**ive and do not re2ri&and their ,hildren +hen they &ade any
&i*take*) !o it i* ea*y /or the ,hildren to be,o&e *2oiled) Parent* love
their ,hildren very &u,h) But i/ that love i* eF,e**ive it +ill da&age the
,hildren) We *hould *tart thinking ho+ to love our ,hildren 1u*t right)
Thi* +a* ho+ thi* book ha* ,o&e into being)
!o&e doubt that $ a& a &onk +ithout a /a&ily) Ho+ ,ould $ dare to
+rite about ,hildrenJ Plea*e try to under*tand that even though $ a& a
&onk< +ho ha* no /a&ily< but $ al+ay* think about hel2ing other 2eo2le<
*o $ tried to read book* about ,hildren) But they +ere *o di//i,ult to /ind)
When $ +ent to a library to look /or book* on ,hildren< $ /ound only one
entitled< DHo+ to Tea,h ChildrenE by Do,tor Cha&ra* !iri*a&2han< 0)D)<
=nd edition) $ read thi* book over and over and have re%+ritten *o&e o/
iF
the ,ontent* in that book /or u*e in &y radio broad,a*ting) $ +ould like
to thank Dr) Cha&ra* /or it) And &ay $ a*k tho*e +ho have kno+ledge
about ,hildren to +rite &ore book* on thi* *ub1e,t /or the 2arent*< +ho
+i*h to *tudy< to be able to do *o) $t +ill hel2 our ,ountry in another +ay
a* +ell)
the ,ontent* in that book /or u*e in &y radio broad,a*ting) $ +ould like
to thank Dr) Cha&ra* /or it) And &ay $ a*k tho*e +ho have kno+ledge
about ,hildren to +rite &ore book* on thi* *ub1e,t /or the 2arent*< +ho
+i*h to *tudy< to be able to do *o) $t +ill hel2 our ,ountry in another +ay
a* +ell)
dren
the right +ay< they +ill be,o&e good ,itiBen*) When they gro+ u2
they +ill be able to +ork and be,o&e u*e/ul to our ,ountry) Tho*e +ho
+ant to hel2 the ,ountry go /or+ard ,an do *o by hel2ing the ,hildren to
develo2 2ro2erly and in the right +ay)
The ,ontent* in thi* book are not really ,o&2lete be,au*e they +ere
,o&2iled in ha*te and the author had no eF2erien,e in thi* 2arti,ular
to2i,) Any o/ the reader*< +ho have kno+ledge and eF2erien,e and love
,hildren and their /ello+ hu&an being*< 2lea*e give &e *o&e advi,e) $ a&
*till going to +rite &any &ore 2art* e*2e,ially regarding bringing ,hildren
to the Dha&&a< +hi,h are needed i&&ediately in thi* day and age)
La*tly< $ +i*h all o/ you +ho love your ,hildren the right +ay to be
*u,,e**/ul in bringing u2 good +hole*o&e ,hildren in your /a&ily)
Bhikkhu Panyananda&unee
Wat Chola2rathanrang*arid
Pakkred< Nonthaburi
F
Fi
Content*
PRE;ACE )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
))))))))))) -
;R"0 THE
TRAN!LAT"R ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) -$$
$NTR"DUCT$"N BY THE
AUTH"R )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) $K
Part "ne
PARENT! ARE CREAT"R! ";
CH$LDREN )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) L
Y"UR CH$LDC! ;$R!T
TEACHER )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 6
$N;LUENCE! ";
HERED$TY ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) L:
.""D CH$LDREN ARE NEEDED T" CARRY "N THE ;A0$LY NA0E ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L5
CHARACTER
TRAN!;ER ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) =?
PURE
L"-E ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
=4
AN EKA0PLE "; Y"UR
CH$LDREN )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ?9
CH$LD
$N!T$NCT! ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 6L
D"NCT U!E E0"T$"N! W$TH
CH$LDREN )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 68
TRA$N CH$LDREN T" EAT "NLY AT 0EAL T$0E! )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
99
WHAT D" CH$LDREN WANT< WHERE M WHENJ )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
IL
H"W T" C"RRECT BULLY$N.
CH$LDREN )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I5
D" N"T CREATE THE LAND "; TERR"R $N THE 0$ND "; Y"UR CH$LDREN )))))))))))))))))))))))
5?
Part T+o
H"W T" C"RRECT !TUBB"RNNE!! $N
CH$LDREN ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 8:
!T"P AEAL"U!Y WHEN THE CH$LDREN ARE !T$LL
Y"UN. )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 8I
WHY D$D Y"UR CH$LD BEC"0E A CR$0$NAL ALL "; A
!UDDENJ )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 4=
WHAT ARE THE ;$R!T TH$N.! PARENT! !H"ULD TEACH CH$LDRENJ ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
48
Fii
D"NCT L""# B"RED WHEN AN!WER$N. Y"UR CH$LDRENC! NUE!T$"N! )))))))))))))))))))))))))
L:6
TRA$N CH$LDREN T" BE BRA-E M N"T T$0$D ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
LL:
!P"RT! ARE $0P"RTANT T"
CH$LDREN )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) LLI
TRA$N CH$LDREN T" TELL THE TRUTH )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L==
TRA$N CH$LDREN T" BE PUNCTUAL M T" #N"W THE -ALUE "; T$0E )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L=8
TRA$N Y"UR CH$LDREN T" HA-E D$!C$PL$NE )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L?6
TRA$N CH$LDREN N"T T" BE .REEDY M T" RE!PECT "THER PE"PLEC! R$.HT! ))))))))))
L6:
TRA$N Y"UR CH$LDREN N"T T" BE !EL;$!H M LEARN T" !ACR$;$CE )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L6I
Part Three
CULT$-AT$N. UN$TY A0"N. Y"UR CH$LDREN $! -ERY $0P"RTANT )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L9?
TRA$N Y"UR CH$LDREN T" !A-E 0"NEY AT A Y"UN. A.E )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L94
TRA$N CH$LDREN T" !A-E 0"NEY AT A Y"UN. A.E >C"NTCD@ )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
LI6
TRA$N CH$LDREN T" HA-E .RAT$TUDE AT A Y"UN. A.E )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
LI4
TRA$N Y"UR CH$LDREN T"
;"R.$-E ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) L59
TRA$N CH$LDREN T" DEPEND "N M HELP "NE!EL; ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L8:
TRA$N Y"UR CH$LDREN T" !TUDY THE EN-$R"N0ENT )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L8I
H"W T" PRE-ENT CH$LDREN ;R"0 0$!!$N. !CH""L )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
L4=
TEACH Y"UR CH$LDREN T" BE
HU0BLE )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) L44
.$-E CH$LDREN A CHANCE T" EKPRE!! THE$R AB$L$TY !" THEY CAN BE
PR"UD "; THE0!EL-E!) D" N"T U!E AN AB!"LUTE !Y!TE0 W$TH THE CH$LDREN )
=:9
H"0E $!
!CH""L ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) =LL
CH$LDREN M THE$R
DRE!! ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) =L5
THE CH$LDREN WH" HA-E BEEN TRA$NED ARE THE 0"!T -ALUABLE ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
==?
L"-E Y"UR CH$LDREN
THE R$.HT WAY
PART $
Love Your Children The Right Way
Part "ne
$NTR"DUCT$"N
Parent* are Creator* o/ Children
$
$
N THE HEART AND !"UL o/ every /ather and &other< there i* one thing
in ,o&&on +ithout any eF,e2tion) That i* they have the *a&e +i*he*)
They +i*h Da bright /uture /or their ,hildren)E $/ there are any *ign*< even
though they are in*igni/i,ant< *ho+ing that< Dthe /uture o/ their ,hildren
&ay not be ,ertainE< the /ather and &other o/ tho*e ,hildren +ould
try to hide the *adne** and unha22ine** in their heart* during the ti&e<
+hi,h their ,hildren have no ,lear 2ath)
$t i* not at all ea*y nor a &inor re*2on*ibility to be a 2er/e,t /atherO
&other) The re*2on*ibility doe* not *to2 only +hen a ,hild ha* been ,reated
in thi* +orld) The 2roble&* and the burden* that you have to *u22ort
your ,hildren in all thing*< +hi,h are ordinary dutie* o/ /ather and
&other< are not *u//i,iently ,o&2lete) You ,annot think only in ter& o/<
Dto have a hou*e to live in< a bed to *lee2 on< a 2illo+ to re*t their head<
a &ean* to *u22ortE) $t i* not totally ,orre,t to think that i* all that i*
needed) The &o*t i&2ortant 2oint de2end* on +hether you have develo2ed
a guideline /or your ,hildren to live their live* in *u,h a +ay that
they Phave a bright /utureC) Let u* try to eF2lore and *tudy thi* 1u*t a little
/urther)
"ver and above the heart and *oul o/ the /atherO&other there i* a
+i*h /or a bright /uture /or their ,hildren) !o&e o/ the /ather* and &other*
+ould only think and i&agine) They +ait /or the ti&e< and the o22ortunity<
the /ortune and the good lu,k) !o&e o/ you +ho have no +i*do&
to *u22ort and 2ro&ote the /uture o/ your ,hildren in any +ay< have to
)
re*ort to u*ing< DLet /ate lead the +ay o/ &y ,hildrenE A* an old *aying
PLeave the& to their /ateC) Any +ork or endeavour i/ le/t to /ate aloneG you
kno+ +hat +ill ha22en to the /uture o/ your ,hildrenJ ;or thi* rea*on<
you have a real need< and it i* eFtre&ely i&2ortant< to /ind a &ean* and
a +ay to dire,t your ,hildren to a bright 2ath at all ti&e*) There i* an old
e2ithet PLoog #eo Loog #+anC >&eaning< &y ,hild< &y heart and *oul@<
+hi,h indi,ate* the re*2on*ibility o/ the 2arent*) They are the one* +ho
build and *u22ort their ,hildren /or the& to &eet the high ho2e in their
heart* and a* a re*ult &aking their ,hildren DLoog #eo Loog #+anE in
reality)
$n regard to the e2ithet DLeave the& to their /ateE< it i* the thing all
2arent* *hould re,ogniBe) And /or that< in order to build and *u22ort the
,hildren to en*ure the& having good and 2ro*2erou* /uture< the Buddha
had 2rovided three 2rin,i2le* to /ollo+
)) Pubbaka&&a Q Whole*o&e deed* in the 2reviou* eFi*ten,e)
=) Pa,,ubannaka&&a Q Whole*o&e deed* in the 2re*ent ti&e)
?) Anagataka&&a Q Whole*o&e deed* in the /uture ti&e)
Prin,i2le o/ #a&&a a,,ording to the tea,hing o/ the Buddha ha* a lot
&ore Detail*) But in order /or it 1u*t to be a guideline /or the 2arent*< $
+ill not di*,u** the& at great length to 2revent any ,on/u*ion)
$n regard to Pubbaka&&a< it &ean* kar&a< or deed*< +hi,h have
been done not only in the 2reviou* eFi*ten,e but al*o in thi* eFi*ten,e
in thi* +orld no &atter +hat kind o/ deed* they &ay be) Both good and
bad deed* are ,on*idered DPubbaka&&aE) Plea*e take noti,e that *o&e
o/ the Pubbaka&&a +e ,o&&itted a long ti&e ago &ay take e//e,t ):=:
year* later) !o&e o/ the&< +e have already /orgotten be,au*e +e o/ten
*ay< PWhat did +e do to &ake thi* ha22enJE !o&e o/ u* +hen /a,ed +ith
di//i,ultie* in our live* o/ real hard*hi2 &ay even have to hide our*elve*
and ,ry alone *aying to our*elve*< DWhat bad kar&a +e did that &ade
u* to be in thi* big &e**JE All the*e are due to Pubbaka&&a) Anybody
,an *ay that DPubbaka&&aE ha* no 2o+er to a//e,t hi* or her live*) Let
the& *ay the +ord*) But in reality< the 2o+er o/ Pubbaka&&a a,tually
=
,ontrol* our live*) No one ,an tell DPubbaka&&aE to do anything to u*
eF,e2t +e do it our*elve*) We are the one +ho did the deed*) We are the
one +ho took a,tion)
"ur deed* no+ +ill be Pubbaka&&a then)
"ur deed* today +ill be Pubbaka&&a to&orro+)
"ur deed* thi* &onth +ill be Pubbaka&&a neFt &onth)
"ur deed* thi* year +ill be Pubbaka&&a neFt year
"ur deed* thi* eFi*ten,e +ill be Pubbaka&&a neFt eFi*ten,e)
A +hole*o&e Pubbaka&&a +ill hel2 and *u22ort u* to 2ro*2er) An
un+hole*o&e Pubbaka&&a +ill ,ertainly 2ull u* do+n to be,o&e +or*e
and lo+er) Thi* i* D.ood lu,kE +e are *ear,hing /or +ithout realiBing
,orre,tly that it i* the 2o+er o/ Pubbaka&&a and nothing el*e) ;or thi*
rea*on< i/ you the 2arent* +ill indi,ate the right 2ath /or your loved one*
by telling the& to do only DThe good deed*E ,on*i*tently in their live*
and to *tay a+ay /ro& DThe bad deed*E< DThe +hole*o&e Pubbaka&&aE
+ill be,o&e their invaluable inheritan,e) $t +ill /ollo+ the& every+here
a* a good e//e,t all the ti&e) That i* DThe good lu,kE due to the *e,ret
2o+er o/ DPubbaka&&aE /or *ure)
We +ill *ki2 Pa,,ubannaka&&a and Anagataka&&a /or no+ but
+ill ,o&e ba,k to talk about the& later on) Plea*e +ait /or the ti&e
being) No+ 2lea*e /ollo+ the 2ath o/ E A bright /uture /or your ,hildrenE
in Part $ o/ DL"-E Y"UR CH$LDREN THE R$.HT WAYE) Part $$ and
Part $$$ +ill /ollo+ in 2ro2er *eHuen,e)
?
Your ChildC* ;ir*t Tea,her
Your ChildC* ;ir*t Tea,her
P
P
LEA!E LEND 0E Y"UR EAR!) Li*ten to the voi,e o/ good +i*he* /ro&
&e) Li*ten and ,o&2lyG it i* the only +ay) $ a& going to tell you all $
kno+< no+)
$ a& ,alling you< /ather* and &other*< be,au*e you have given birth
to boy* and girl*) You love the& and you are 2roud that you at la*t have
,hildren o/ your o+n) All 2arent* love their ,hildren) They +ant their
,hildren to be,o&e /a&ou*) No one +ould do bad thing* to hi* or her
,hildren intentionally) $t i* *i&2ly a /a,t) But the love o/ a 2arent i* like a
double%edged *+ord) $t ,an be u*e/ul or it ,an be har&/ul) $/ the love i*
right then it i* u*e/ul to the ,hildren) $/ the love i* +rong then it i* har&/ul
to the& +ithout a doubt) 0any 2arent* have de*troyed their ,hildren
on a,,ount o/ love) That kind o/ de*tru,tion i* done +ithout kno+ing)
!u,h a* in the ,a*e o/ the 2arent*< +ho love and 2rote,t their ,hildren
too &u,h< giving the& too &u,h /reedo& to the 2oint that they
donCt kno+ ho+ to look a/ter the&*elve*) Every thing *ee&* to de2end
on the 2arent*) Whatever the ,hildren +antG +hatever the ,hildren doG
they are allo+ed +ithout a +ord o/ ,ontradi,tion) They are a/raid to hurt
the /eeling* o/ their ,hildren) When the ,hildren are allo+ed to do anything
a* they 2lea*e in thi* /a*hion< they be,o&e the bo**e* o/ the 2arent*)
$n e//e,t the 2arent* are a/raid o/ their ,hildren &ore than o/ anything
el*e) They have no ,ourage to ,ontradi,t their ,hildren at all) The
,hildren al*o kno+ that the 2arent* hu&our the&)
$n general< ,hildren /ollo+ their de*ire +hen they do anything) They
donCt *to2 and think about the ,on*eHuen,e) $/ they +ant *o&ething they
think they *hould get it or they *hould be allo+ed to do it) They be,o&e
,o&2ul*ive and ea*ily 2rovoked) They eF2re** their tantru& by thro+ing
or breaking thing*) The 2arent* /eel ,o&2elled to do /or the& +hatever
they +i*h) When they re,eive a vi,tory u*ing one ta,ti,< they +ill
do it that +ay again and al+ay* getting the *a&e re*ult) Who i* a,tually
at /ault in *u,h ,a*e*J The 2arent* are at /ault be,au*e they are too 2er
6
&i**ive allo+ing the ,hildren to do too &u,h a* they 2lea*e) Thi* i* o/
,our*e due to love) $ a& not *aying thi* to /orbid you /ro& loving your
,hildren but $ a& *aying you &u*t love the& the right +ay)
&i**ive allo+ing the ,hildren to do too &u,h a* they 2lea*e) Thi* i* o/
,our*e due to love) $ a& not *aying thi* to /orbid you /ro& loving your
,hildren but $ a& *aying you &u*t love the& the right +ay)
tor@)
$t i* *o&ething +e *hould li*ten to and think about) A 2er*on< +ho
rai*e* ,attle< love* the& and allo+* the& to roa& around) They +ill ,ertainly
eat the vegetable* and other *tu// in the garden o/ other 2eo2le)
Then the o+ner o/ the ,attle ha* to 2ay) !o the ,attle &u*t be tied to the
2o*t* to 2revent the& /ro& J going a*tray) The *a&e i* true /or our ,hildren)
We need the& but +e al*o need to 2uni*h the&) $t i* not that +e
are going to beat the& to death or to har& the& but only to &ake the&
think t+i,e be/ore ,o&&itting the *a&e &i*take again) A ,lay 2ot &aker
u*e* a +ooden *la2 to beat on a 2ot in order to &ake it look ni,e) The
beating and *la22ing i* done 1u*t right and not to break the 2ot< o/ ,our*e)
The *a&e i* true +hen 2uni*hing a ,hild)
There are t+o +ay* o/ *2anking) The /ir*t +ay i* by +ord* or verbally
and the *e,ond +ay i* by /logging) Your +ord* *hould be u*ed to tea,h
your ,hildren) Tea,h the& and tea,h the& again) By nature< the ,hildren
are a,tive and they al+ay* do thing*) They *till donCt kno+ +hether their
a,tion i* right or +rong) They only kno+ to do it) !o&eti&e* it i* right)
!o&eti&e* it i* +rong) Whatever they did and *u22o*e it +a* +rong) $/
the 2arent* did not /orbid the&< did not +arn the&< they +ould think
that it did not &atter) $/ the 2arent* did not *,old the& /or doing it< they
+ould do it again and again until it &ay be,o&e a habit) A/ter a habit
i* /or&ed< it i* very di//i,ult to ,hange) 0o*t 2arent* are +rong in thi*
regard) Be,au*e they think it i* a *&all &atter *o it *hould not do any
har&) The*e *&all &atter* a,tually ,reate &a1or event*) A +i*e and ,are/ul
2er*on *hould al+ay* be a+are o/ *&all &atter*) $/ *&all &atter* are
taken ,are o/ then the &a1or event* +ill be taken o/ a* +ell) Thi* i* the
truth) A duty o/ the 2arent* *hould in,lude 2aying attention al+ay* to
the a,tion* o/ your ,hildren) When they *ee that the ,hildren are &aking
any &i*take< be *ure to tell the& i&&ediately)
You *hould talk to the& ni,ely and +ith a ,ool heart) Do not *2eak
9
in anger be,au*e tea,hing *o&e one +hen you are angry +ill never 2rodu,e
good re*ult) "n the ,ontrary< it +ill &ake the ,hildren anger%2rone)
To *2eak +ith love and ,o&2a**ion +ill 2rodu,e better re*ult*) $n the
beginning< tell the& +hat i* bad and +hat i* good) Tell the& that /ather
and &other love a good 2er*on and do not like a bad 2er*on) $/ they +ant
love /ro& their 2arent*< they &u*t be good 2er*on*) Tell the& over and
over again and donCt be laggard about it)
When +e talk to *o&e one +e &u*t talk until they under*tand) They
&u*t kno+ the rea*on*) They &u*t under*tand +hat i* +hat< to do it
,orre,tly) A/ter you have taught the& anything you &u*t al*o /ollo+ u2)
Do not let the ,hildren re2eat that &i*take again) $/ you *ee the ,hildren
&ake a &i*take in the thing* that they have been told< tell the& to be
,are/ul about the&) Children are not that hard to bend) EF,e2t in ,a*e*
+here the adult* have already hardened the& *o&eho+) To harden a
habit i* by not *aying< not telling) A/ter they have been taught about any
*ub1e,t< i/ they &ake the *a&e &i*take< then it i* the ti&e /or *2anking)
Ho+ever< re&e&ber thatG donCt u*e *2anking i/ it i* not ab*olutely ne,e**ary)
$/ you have to do that again and again the ,hildren +ill get u*ed
to being *2anked and they +ill be,o&e thi,k%*kinned /or the ,ane) They
+ill not be a/raid o/ it any &ore) The 2arent* need to u*e +i*do& in
*2anking the ,hildren) Never u*e *2anking +hen you are angry) !o&e
o/ the 2arent* u*e *2anking right a+ay +hile they are angry< and they hit
rando&ly and +ithout rea*on*) Thi* be,o&e* a ,ruelty to ,hildren)
When *2anking i* +arranted< you &u*t talk to your ,hildren) An
under*tanding &u*t be &ade that their deed* +ere +rong) They +ere
&i*take*< +hi,h had been +arned by you be/ore *everal ti&e* and the
,hildren are *till doing the&) Talk to the& to &ake the& under*tand
that they +ere +rong and that +hat they did +a* not ,orre,t) You &u*t
&ake the& realiBe in their o+n &ind that it +a* a &i*take) To &ake
the ,hildren re,ogniBe the /a,t that they have done +rong i* very valuable)
When they realiBe that they +ere +rong then a rea*onable a&ount
o/ 2uni*h&ent i* i&2o*ed to &ake the& re&e&ber and ho2e/ully +ill
not re2eat the *a&e &i*take again)
When they donCt do bad deed* they in turn +ill do good< +hole
I
*o&e deed*) $n order to 2rove to the& that< DDo good< &ake goodG do
bad< &ake bad<E +hen they &ade a &i*take and +ere 2uni*hed< they *ee
that< DDo bad< &ake bad<E i* /or real) When they did good deed*< the 2arent*
*hould tea,h the& to realiBe the re*ult o/ doing that a* +ell by giving
the& a re+ard /or good deed*) Never be a 2a**ive 2arti,i2ant to any
a,tion o/ your ,hildren) .ood a,tion &u*t be ,o&2li&entedG bad a,tion
&u*t be ,riti,iBed) Thi* i* an i&2ortant 2rin,i2le) Tea,h the& again and
again i* the only +ay to hel2 your ,hildren be,o&e good 2er*on*) $ a*k
that all 2arent* 2ay attention to thi* /a,t)
$n tea,hing your ,hildren< only talk i* not nearly enough) There &u*t
be a,tion on your 2art to a,,o&2any your talk) All 2arent* &u*t al+ay*
realiBe that they are an eFa&2le o/ their ,hildren) Every ,hild in a /a&ily
+ill a**i&ilate the a,tion o/ hi* or her 2arent*) $/ the ,hildren love their
/ather and are ,lo*e to hi&< they +ill e&ulate all &anneri*&* o/ their
/ather) $/ the ,hildren love their &other< they +ill e&ulate all &anneri*&*
o/ their &other) Thi* kind o/ a**i&ilation< +hen it ha22en* over and over
+ill /or& a habit in the &ind o/ the ,hildren and they +ill be,o&e 1u*t
like their 2arent*) ;or thi* rea*on< the 2arent* &u*t be e*2e,ially ,are/ul
+hen they are in /ront o/ a ,a&era< &eaning their ,hildren) Never think<
*ay< or do any un+hole*o&e thought* or thing* in the 2re*en,e o/ your
,hildren) They *hould *ee and hear only +hole*o&e thing*) To a,,o&2li*h
thi*< /ather and &other in any hou*ehold &u*t train the&*elve*
to al+ay* have di*,i2line) Never do anything in a,,ordan,e +ith your
de*ire) $/ the leader* o/ a /a&ily live 2ro2erly< the ,hildren *urely +ill
re&e&ber the good eFa&2le) DonCt /orget that the eFa&2le* *et by the
2arent* al+ay* have an in/luen,e u2on the &ind o/ the ,hildren)
The eFa&2le* /ro& tho*e 2eo2le ,lo*e to the& and /ro& the environ&ent
have an in/luen,e u2on the &ind o/ the ,hildren to a ,ertain degree)
The 2arent* have to 2ay ,are/ul attention to ,ertain 2la,e*< ,ertain 2eo2le<
and ,ertain thing*< +hi,h are not +hole*o&e< by not allo+ing your ,hildren
to have any ,onta,t +ith the&) Do not allo+ your ,hildren to &ingle
+ith tho*e un+hole*o&e thing*)
Be,au*e being ,lo*e to bad thing*< tho*e bad in/luen,e* +ill *2read
to the&) $/ the ,hildren *ee or en,ounter anything un+hole*o&e< being
5
,hildren< they donCt kno+ ho+ bad it i*) !o it i* a duty o/ the 2arent* to
eF2lain to the& by telling the& to ob*erve and by in/or&ing the& ho+
bad that 2er*on< that thing< i*) And in *o doing +hat adver*e e//e,t* +ill
be to the 2er*on +ho doe* it) Never allo+ the ,hildren to di*,over anything
+ithout kno+ing +hat they really are) Even though it ,on,ern*
*o&ething good< you &u*t &ake the& under*tand the *ub1e,t thoroughly)
The 2arent* not only rai*e the ,hildrenG they &u*t al*o be the
tea,her* to the ,hildren) The Buddha *aid that the 2arent* +ere a ,hildC*
/ir*t tea,her*< *o you *hould al+ay* do thi* duty a* +ell)
The ,hildren u*ually +ill in*i*t on a*king /or thi* and that /ro& you)
Like +hen they *ee the balloon* at the &arket< they +ant to have a balloon)
!hould you give it to the&J A* a &atter o/ /a,t< you *hould not
be,au*e it i* u*ele**) You *hould &ake the& under*tand that it i* u*ele**
and it i* a +a*te o/ &oney) Do not ,o&2ly +ith their +i*he* in the
thing* that are +orthle**) "ne o/ the rea*on* the 2arent* are o/ten bothered
by the ,hildren in thi* trivial &atter i* be,au*e they have indulged
in the 2a*t) Walking in the &arket< the ,hildren +ant to eat 2eanut*<
+ater&elon *eed*< and *ugar ,ane being o//ered /or *ale by a road*ide)
They are dirty and not /it /or ,on*u&2tion) We *hould tell the ,hildren
to under*tand the rea*on that tho*e thing* are not ,lean) They ,ontain
ba,teria) Eat the& and they +ill have a *to&a,ha,heG the teeth +ill de,ay)
They +ill be given a *hot< +hi,h +ill hurt) Try to /ind a +ay to eF2lain *o
they under*tand) And the ,hildren +ill not bother you again) The *a&e
i* true /or other *ituation*) Try to have an under*tanding +ith the&
al+ay*) You +ill have le** trouble +ith the&) Thi* i* one +ay to treat
your ,hildren)
!enior &e&ber* o/ a /a&ily *u,h a* grand &other and grand /ather
on both *ide* o/ten *2oil the ,hildren &ore than the 2arent* i/ tho*e *enior
2er*on* have a &i*under*tanding about thi*) Elder 2eo2le love ,hildren
a great deal) $ have heard *everal elder 2eo2le +ho *aid that $ love
&y ,hildren but $ love &y grand ,hildren even &ore)
The grand ,hildren are *&all< *o the old 2eo2le adored the&) A lot
o/ love tend* to over*hado+ +i*do&) They +ill not *ee right /ro& +rong
and +ill hu&our the ,hildren too &u,h) Whatever the grand ,hildren do
8
i* lovable and ,ute) They +ill give all kind* o/ eF,u*e* to the grand ,hildren)
They in turn are 2roud that the grand 2arent* love the&) They are
not a/raid o/ anybody) Any ti&e they +ere *,olded by the 2arent*< they
,ould 1u*t go to an e&bra,e o/ the grand 2arent* and they are *aved) They
re,eived ,o&2a**ion and +ar&th) The grand ,hildren be,o&e like *o&e
+ho are untou,hable) When they +ere +rong and +ere *,olded by the
2arent*< the grand 2arent* +ill ,o&e in bet+een and *aid that they +ere
*till young) They donCt kno+ anything yet) $t doe* not &atter) They +ill
be good +hen they gro+ u2) The*e old 2eo2le are the one* +ho *2oil the
,hildren) $ beg /orgivene** to *ay to you< the grand &other and the grand
/ather< that you *urely ,an love your grand ,hildren) Nobody i* going to
be again*t that< but you &u*t love the& the right +ay) You &u*t hel2
&ake the& good 2er*on*) Never &ake your grand ,hildren bad 2er*on*)
When the ,hildren gro+ u2 they +ill ,o&2lain that they turn out bad
be,au*e o/ their grand /ather and grand &other) $t i* al*o a big *in) $t i* a
*in +e ,o&&it +ithout kno+ing it and it really ,reate adver*e e//e,t* in
thi* day and age)
Re&e&ber that good 2eo2le< bad 2eo2le that eFi*t in thi* +orld o/
our* no+aday* are the re*ult* o/ the 2arent* in &o*t ,a*e*< The 2arent*
give the& li/e< rai*e the& and they al*o ,an &ake the& either good or bad
2er*on*) $/ +e &et a bad 2er*on and try to inve*tigate the ba,kground< hi*
or her a*,endant* &u*t have been bad be/ore) $/ +e &et a good 2er*on<
it indi,ate* 2lainly that he or *he ,a&e /ro& good 2arent*) The /ruit*
never /all /ar a+ay /ro& the tree i* a good analogy< be,au*e a ,hild o/ a
hu&an being i* the *a&e) A ,hild o/ a drunkard *tay* ,lo*e to drinking
2eo2le) A ,hild o/ a ga&bler live* near a ga&bling den) A ,hild o/ a *eF
&ania, i* ,raBy about *eF like hi* /ather) All o/ u* harve*t our ,ro2* /ro&
the /a&ily< re,eiving our inheritan,e /ro& the /a&ily) $ beg you Q all the
2arent* Q to 2lea*e hel2 &ake your ,hildren good 2er*on*)
4
$n/luen,e* o/ Heredity
$n/luen,e* o/ Heredity
L
L
A!T !ATURDAY $ re&inded you +ho are the 2arent* o/ the ,hildren
to 2ay &ore attention to the +ell being o/ your ,hildren) Be,au*e +e
,annot rai*e our ,hildren only 2hy*i,ally< +e need to rai*e the& &entally
a* +ell)
To rai*e the ,hildren 2hy*i,ally i* ea*y) We only give the& /ood in
,orre,t 2ro2ortion*) We ,an al*o 2revent 2hy*i,al danger to the&) That
+ould be *u//i,ient) But to rai*e the& &entally< +e &u*t give the& /ood
/or the &ind) .ive the& the /ood that doe* not 2oi*on their &ind) Try
to 2revent *i,kne** o/ the &ind in your ,hildren) $/ you ha22en to overlook
that and the *i,kne** o/ the &ind did o,,ur in your ,hildren< +hat
you need to do urgently i* to give treat&ent to the illne** be/ore it +ill
*2read /urther) Thi* +ill hel2 your ,hildren avoid the evil deed* to a ,ertain
degree)
When *hould +e begin looking a/ter the &ind o/ the ,hildrenJ
$n regard to thi* to2i,< let u* talk about the in/luen,e* o/ heredity a
little /ir*t) Heredity i* one o/ the 2rin,i2le* o/ kar&a in Buddhi*&) The
Buddha tea,he* u* to believe in kar&a) We do good deed*< +e re,eive
good re*ult*G +e do bad deed* and +e re,eive bad re*ult*) We ,an never
e*,a2e /ro& the e//e,t* o/ kar&a) Thi* i* the 2art *2e,i/i,ally re,eived
by the doer) A*ide /ro& that< the kar&a +ill be tran*/erred through the
blood line) Thi* i* be,au*e +hen a 2er*on doe* *o&ething o/ten enough<
it +ill be,o&e hi* or her habit) When a habit i* /or&ed< that 2er*on +ill
o/ten think about it) Hi* or her /le*h and blood re,eive* an in/luen,e /ro&
thi* thought and the *ituation +ill evolve around that thought re/le,ting
the thing that ha* been tran*/erred a* +ell) $t i* the *a&e a* a /ruit%
bearing tree) Whatever ta*te it ha*< +hether *+eet or tangy< the original
tree bear* /ruit* o/ ,ertain ta*te< that ta*te +ill be tran*/erred to the
*eed* +e gro+) Thi* i* true in &o*t ,a*e*) And it i* the *a&e /or hu&an)
$/ you ob*erve ,are/ully by looking at the real *ituation and the truth +ill
a22ear be/ore your eye*)
):
"ne day< +hile $ +a* having a ,onver*ation +ith a *enior &onk in a
*outhern 2rovin,e< a relative o/ that &onk ,a&e to *ee hi& *aying that
her *e,ond *on in the /a&ily< +ho +a* a bla,k *hee2 an &o*t trouble*o&e<
had ,reated another 2roble& to the /a&ily) Her *on +anted &oney) He
+anted a 2ortion o/ the ri,e /ield he +all entitled to but the 2arent* did
not +ant to give it to hi& 1u*t yet) He be,a&e obnoFiou* and tried to beat
u2 hi* 2arent*) The /ather +a* able to ,al& hi& do+n by &aking hi&
think that he &ight *till have a ,han,e) !o the *ituation returned ba,k
to nor&al) $t *o ha22ened that thi* boy al+ay* ,reated 2roble&* to the
/a&ily) $ &ade an inHuiryG a/ter the &other had *aid good bye< +hether
the boy +hen young had been *ent to *,hool) The &onk told &e that he
attended a *,hool but he +a* a bad *tudent and al+ay* &i**ed hi* ,la**e*)
He al*o o/ten 2i,ked a /ight +ith hi* /ello+ *tudent* and +a* unable to
/ini*h hi2 *tudy and had to dro2 out) When he be,a&e a young &an he
began to ga&ble and drink) The*e t+o vi,e* ,a&e to hi& later in hi* li/e
be,au*e o/ the environ&ent) But hi* original *in +a* *tubbornne**C He
+ould not obey anybody or even hi* o+n 2arent*) What +ere the ,au*e*
o/ thi* behaviourJ $ a*ked the &onk +hat +a* the *ituation in the /a&ily
+hen he +a* born) $ +a* told that the 2arent* al+ay* Huarrelled and
there +ere a lot o/ 2roble&*) The trouble in the &ind o/ the 2arent*
had in/luen,ed the &ind o/ the ,hild) He be,a&e involved in all kind*
o/ trouble* hi&*el/) Thi* i* one eFa&2le)
0any /a&ilie*< o/ ,our*e< have *everal ,hildren) 0o*t o/ the ,hildren
+ere good 2eo2le but *o&eti&e* one o/ the& ha22ened to be a bad
a22le) $t +a* di*,overed that during the ti&e they had that ,hild< either
the /ather or the &other or both did not behave the&*elve* 2ro2erly) The
,hild +ho +a* born /ro& un+hole*o&e &ind be,a&e hi&*el/ or her*el/
an un+hole*o&e 2er*on)
$ kne+ thi* /a&ily +ith ten ,hildren) All the ,hildren +ere good and
had good behaviour) They +ere good *tudent* at *,hool<C had good 1ob*
and led a good +hole*o&e li/e) They +ere the ,hildren +ho only brought
+ar& /eeling* to the /a&ily and the 2arent*) No one had ever brought
any 2ain/ul eF2erien,e to the /a&ily) $ +a* ,lo*e to thi* /a&ily *o $ a*ked
the& /or a rea*on) $ +a* told that both $ 2arent* +ere religiou*) They
))
ob*erved the ;ive Pre,e2t* regularly) They attended the te&2le *ervi,e
every religiou* day *in,e they +ere both young) The hu*band and the
+i/e loved ea,h other very &u,h) They never had any 2roble&* bet+een
the&) Be,au*e o/ the /a,t that the 2arent* +ere at 2ea,e +ith the&*elve*
and they +ere believer* o/ high &oral *tandard< their ,hildren turned out
to be good and ea*y to tea,h) Thi* *ho+* an in/luen,e o/ the goodne** in
the 2arent* to+ard* their ,hildren)
ob*erved the ;ive Pre,e2t* regularly) They attended the te&2le *ervi,e
every religiou* day *in,e they +ere both young) The hu*band and the
+i/e loved ea,h other very &u,h) They never had any 2roble&* bet+een
the&) Be,au*e o/ the /a,t that the 2arent* +ere at 2ea,e +ith the&*elve*
and they +ere believer* o/ high &oral *tandard< their ,hildren turned out
to be good and ea*y to tea,h) Thi* *ho+* an in/luen,e o/ the goodne** in
the 2arent* to+ard* their ,hildren)
tre**e*
be,au*e he al+ay* got involved *eFually +ith younger +o&en
being a young re*tle** &an hi&*el/) Even a/ter he got &arried and had
*ettled do+n< he +a* not totally *ati*/ied +ith +hat he had at ho&e) He
o/ten +ent out drinking at night) When he got drunk he +ould look
/or a +o&an to *ati*/y hi* *eFual drive) Due to the /a,t that he +a* too
atta,hed to /le*h and o22o*ite *eF< a ,hild born during the ti&e their
/ather +a* behaving badly like that turned out to be bad like hi* /ather<
i)e)< he +a* a Ca*anova having *everal +ive*) He did not live in one *2e,i/i,
2la,e) He +a* never *ati*/ied +ith hi* *eF li/e) Thi* +a* be,au*e hi*
/ather +a* behaving badly +hen he +a* born) Ho+ever< hi* /ather +a*
/inally able to turn a ne+ lea/ by /o,u*ing hi* li/e to religion) He behaved
hi&*el/ +ell) The ,hildren born during that 2eriod +ere good ,hildren
+ith higher &oral *tandard than the other one &entioned be/ore)
!torie* like thi* are true) We ,an al*o look /or eviden,e to ,on/ir&
tho*e *torie* but the 2arent* +ould *,ar,ely ad&it they +ere like that)
Neverthele** +e ,an obtain the in/or&ation /ro& tho*e +ho +ere ,lo*e
to the& to kno+ +hat kind o/ 2er*on they had been and +hy their ,hildren
+ere that +ay< both good and bad)
No+ you kno+ that +hen you be,o&e a 2arent by giving birth to
a baby< you have *u,h great 2o+er to &ake hi& or her the +ay you are)
No &atter +hat your thought* or your behaviour* tend to be< both good
and bad< they +ill 2lay a role in ,reating the li/e and the &ind o/ your
,hildren) The /uture o/ your ,hildren +a* born out o/ your a,tion* in the
2re*ent ti&e to &ake a better /uture /or your ,hildren) Thi* i* i&2ortant
)=
/or tho*e o/ you +ho are 2re2aring your*elve* to be,o&e the 2arent* o/
your ,hildren) Never think only that you 1u*t get &arried to be,o&e
hu*band and +i/eG then the ,hildren +ill be bornG you rai*e the& until
they gro+ u2 *o you ,an 2ut the& to +ork) But you *hould realiBe that
the ,hildren +ould ,arry on your na&e in the /uture) Whether the
/a&ily +ill 2ro*2er or not de2end* on the /uture o/ your ,hildren a*
+ell) Your ,hildren +ill be good or bad de2end* on you< +ho are the
&ould*< the eFa&2le* o/ your ,hildren) The &ould* the&*elve* &u*t be
good be/ore they *hould be &ade to &ould *o&ething)
/or tho*e o/ you +ho are 2re2aring your*elve* to be,o&e the 2arent* o/
your ,hildren) Never think only that you 1u*t get &arried to be,o&e
hu*band and +i/eG then the ,hildren +ill be bornG you rai*e the& until
they gro+ u2 *o you ,an 2ut the& to +ork) But you *hould realiBe that
the ,hildren +ould ,arry on your na&e in the /uture) Whether the
/a&ily +ill 2ro*2er or not de2end* on the /uture o/ your ,hildren a*
+ell) Your ,hildren +ill be good or bad de2end* on you< +ho are the
&ould*< the eFa&2le* o/ your ,hildren) The &ould* the&*elve* &u*t be
good be/ore they *hould be &ade to &ould *o&ething)
*on*<
the ,hildren +ill< in &o*t ,a*e*< turn out to be good a* +ell)
;ir*t o/ all< a/ter they have be,o&e hu*band and +i/e< both o/ the&
&u*t try to i&2rove their &ind) To have ha22ine** in a /a&ily and to get
along +ell together< the Dha&&a o/ Buddha tea,he* hu*band and +i/e
to ,ondu,t the&*elve* a,,ording to the /ollo+ing /our 2rin,i2le*'
))
To have the *a&e belie/ in the religion and &oral *tandard' they
&u*t be a good &at,h) They *hould not ,ontradi,t ea,h other in
their belie/) Hu*band and +i/e< +ho do not believe in the *a&e /unda&ental
thing*< do not *tay together very long) They +ill argue
a lot) When the /a&ily ha* argu&ent* all the ti&e< it ,annot be at
)?
2ea,e) $t i* a good idea to ad1u*t their belie/* to &at,h ea,h other
to live in har&ony)
2ea,e) $t i* a good idea to ad1u*t their belie/* to &at,h ea,h other
to live in har&ony)
)
To have the *a&e behaviour or ,ondu,t< *u,h a* the *a&e !ila or
*tandard o/ ,ondu,t' they &u*t have the *a&e *et o/ rule* o/ living*
and *a&e ,u*to&*) $t i* ,o&&on kno+ledge that Cau,a*ian ladie*<
+ho &arried "riental*< *u,h a* Thai &en< had ,hanged their o2inion*<
belie/* and ,u*to&* in order to get along +ell +ith the hu*band
and their relative*) That i* the ,orre,t +ay and it al*o &ade
the hu*band* love and re*2e,t the& &ore)
?)
To have the *a&e kno+ledge' even though it doe* not rea,h the
level o/ an a,ade&i, degree like another 2er*on< they *hould be
able to talk to ea,h other) When the hu*band *ay* *o&ething< the
+i/e under*tand*) When the +i/e *ay* *o&ething< the hu*band
al*o under*tand*) They +ill be able to travel together in their long
1ourney)
6)
To be a good &at,h in genero*ity' thi* &ean* being agreeable and
a22roving +hen either one o/ the& +ant* to &ake &erit or donation*
to ,harity) They do not ,ontradi,t ea,h other to the 2oint o/
having an argu&ent< +hi,h &ay bring ,on/li,t* to the /a&ily)
When both *ide* have the *a&e thought* and belie/*< it ,an be ,alled
the *a&e &ould) The lid and the 2ot /it +ell together) They *erve the
2ur2o*e +ell) The /a&ily +ill live in 2ea,e and ha22ine**) There are
no ,on/li,t* or /ri,tion o/ any kind) The neFt *te2 i* /or the hu*band
and the +i/e to re/rain /ro& all vi,e*< +hi,h are the ,au*e* o/ ,ountle**
ruinou* live*< *u,h a*'
))
Re/rain /ro& ,on*u&ing al,oholi, drink* and all kind* o/ nar,oti,* and
dangerou* drug*)
=)
Never go out at night to 2la,e* +here it ,an bring unha22ine** to your*el/
and your /a&ily)
?)
Re/rain /ro& being indulged in 2lay< +hi,h bring* too &u,h /un to the
2oint o/ /orgetting +ho and +hat you are)
)6
6)
Never ga&ble in any kind o/ ga&e*< +hether they are legaliBed or illegal)
They are all *in*)
9)
Re/rain /ro& a**o,iating +ith bad 2er*on* to the 2oint o/ being
/riend*)
I)
Re/rain /ro& being laBy to 2er/or& +ork be,au*e it i* not a +ay to get
ri,h)
Hu*band and +i/e +ho re/rain /ro& entering the ,ave o/ ruin a* &entioned
above have enough rea*on to believe that they already have a good
/oundation to be,o&e good< +hole*o&e 2eo2le) $t i* a,tually and i&2rove&ent
a,,ording to the 2rin,i2le o/ good hou*ehold li/e)
"rdinary 2eo2le +ho have de/ile&ent and ,raving in their &ind* +ill
*till be having *o&e 2roble&* on,e in a +hile /or *ure)
E*2e,ially tho*e +ith a /a&ily +ill ea*ily have *o&e ,on/li,t*) !o
they &u*t be 2arti,ularly ,are/ul and *hould have the /ollo+ing /our
Dha&&a a* an in*uran,e in their live*) The /our Dha&&a are ,alled
.harava*adha&&a >-irtue /or a good hou*ehold li/e@)
))
!a,,a) Hu*band and +i/e &u*t be hone*t to ea,h other) They &u*t
live together o2enly) Both o/ the& *hould be o2en to ea,h other
all the +ay) There *hould be no *e,ret bet+een the&) Thi* 2oint i*
very i&2ortant)
=)
Da&a) They both &u*t learn to ,ontrol their e&otion) Never do
anything i&2ul*ively) Think t+i,e be/ore taking any a,tion or *aying
anything) When they re,eived any ne+*< they &u*t revie+ the
in/or&ation /ir*t) Do not allo+ your*el/ to ,o&2ly +ith your o+n
+i*he* and de*ire* too &u,h be,au*e they &ay ,au*e trouble to the
/a&ily)
?)
#hanti) They &u*t be tolerant o/ any *ituation< +hi,h o,,urred
in the /a&ily) Your &ind &u*t not be +eakened by any ,ir,u&*tan,e*)
Patien,e i* a virtue and it u*ually take* a long ti&e to do
thing*) Ha22ine** +ill ,o&e to tho*e +ith 2atien,e al+ay*)
)9
6)
Caga) To be generou* in giving a+ay thing* to the 2eo2le in need)
Do not be narro+%&inded) Build a /en,e around your hou*e +ith
love o/ your neighbour* by al+ay* *haring /ood +ith the&)
Any /a&ily +ith thi* good behaviour +ill have a good /oundation /or having
good de*,endant* to ,arry on the /a&ily na&e)
When both 2er*on* have good *oul*< another good *oul +ill be
attra,ted to ,o&e to the +o&b o/ the hou*e+i/e a* they +i*h) You +ill
have good ,hildren be,au*e you are good) !o be good /ro& the day you
get &arried and try to 2re*erve the goodne** to the end)
)I
.ood Children are Needed to Carry "n the ;a&ily Na&e
.ood Children are Needed to Carry "n the ;a&ily Na&e
L
L
A!T !ATURDAY< $ eF2lained to all o/ you about the in/luen,e* o/
heredity< +hi,h i* a ty2e o/ kar&a< and ho+ 2o+er/ul it ,an beG ho+
the a,tion* o/ the 2arent* ,an a//e,t the ,hildren) $ +anted to &ake you
under*tand that both 2arent* are i&2ortant in ,reating the body and the
&ind o/ your ,hildren) $/ you +i*h to *trengthen the /uture o/ your /a&ily<
you need to *u22ort your*el/ in order to &ake *ure that you are +alking
in the right dire,tion) Without a doubt< good re*ult* +ill ha22en to
your ,hildren)
$ +a* told a *tory about a young Thai &an +ho +ent on a tri2 in
0yan&ar) He travelled in that ,ountry /or a long ti&e and +a* able to
*2eak the language o/ 0yan&e*e) ;inally he &arried a 0yan&e*e lady)
"n the night o/ the +edding< the Thai bridegroo& lay in bed +aiting in
the bridal roo& /or a +hile) He did not *ee hi* bride ,o&ing through
the door o/ the bedroo& a* eF2e,ted in the Thai ,u*to&*) He 2atiently
+aited /or an hour and there +a* *till no *ign o/ hi* +i/e%to%be) He be,a&e
a little anFiou*) He thought 2erha2* the 0yan&e*e bride had ,hanged
her &ind) ;inally hi* 2atien,e ran out) He +ent looking /or hi* bride)
He /ound her *itting +ith her eye* ,lo*ed ,hanting &antra in /ront o/ a
Buddha i&age< +hi,h +a* lo,ated at a *a,red 2la,e in the hou*e) $t took
the bride longer than one hour to /ini*h her ,hanting and *he +a* allo+ed
to ,o&e to her bridegroo&) The &an +ent on to *ay that in the /ir*t night
o/ the +edding< the bride ,hanted in /ront o/ the Buddha i&age /or one
hour) A/ter they had been together /or *everal year*< her ,ondu,t regarding
her ,hanting +a* *till the *a&e< never ,hanged) The only di//eren,e
+a* that on the /ir*t night *he +a* ,hanting alone) Later on< there +ere
&ore 2eo2le ,hanting +ith her) But the bridegroo& re&ained the *a&e)
He +a* *till too laBy to 1oin in the ,hanting)
Chanting be/ore going to bed every night by the 0yan&e*e lady i*
the right thing to do) The Thai ,u*to& in the old day* taught the 2eo2le
that +ay a* +ell) Even the author o/ thi* book +a* al*o trained to ,hant
)5
and 2ay ho&age to the Buddha i&age *in,e he +a* a little boy) That i*
+hy thi* habit in,lined to be that o/ a &onk &ore than a lay&an) Thi*
kind o/ a,tion ha* a great deal o/ in/luen,e< really)
and 2ay ho&age to the Buddha i&age *in,e he +a* a little boy) That i*
+hy thi* habit in,lined to be that o/ a &onk &ore than a lay&an) Thi*
kind o/ a,tion ha* a great deal o/ in/luen,e< really)
ried
a,,ording to our ,u*to& and both *ide* love ea,h other< that a/ter
they get &arried then o/ ,our*e they +ill +ant a ,hild to ,arry on their
na&e*) They +ant a ,hild to be a *y&bol o/ their love) They +ant a ,hild
to be a ,hain o/ /riend*hi2 bet+een the /ather and the &other) Not only
the 2arent* +ho +ant the ,hildren< the 2eo2le +ho are +aiting to be,o&e
grand /ather* and grand &other* on both *ide* al*o +ant to have the&)
Thi* i* in general a +i*h o/ the hou*eholder*) "nly *o&e o/ the&< +ho do
it 1u*t /or /un< do not +ant ,hildren) They +ould do it *e,retly) Both o/
the& ,ould not endure the te&2tation and the de*ire /or 2hy*i,al 2lea*ure
and had no intention o/ having any ,hildren) Tho*e 2eo2le had lo+
&oral value and ,ould be ,o&2ared to ordinary ani&al*) They take no
re*2on*ibility /or the&*elve* and /or the baby +ho &ay be ,o&ing out)
The ,hildren +ho +ere born +ho +ere not +anted by the 2arent* tend to
a,t errati,ally be,au*e the brain i* 2robably not ,o&2letely nor&al) Thi*
ty2e o/ baby i* *in/ul< a re*ult o/ the evil in the /ather and &other +ho
*eek only /un *o it i* not a ,hild o/ Dha&&a) Thi* i* *o&e thing young
2eo2le *hould be a+are o/ a little bit &ore) Thi* i* a nu,lear age< a *atellite
age) Hu&an being* in the 2re*ent ti&e are very /a*t) And be,au*e o/
being /a*t< there i* an in,rea*e in the nu&ber o/ babie* +ithout /ather) $t
i* an in,rea*e o/ evil* and bad 2er*on* in thi* +orld o/ our*) !o 2lea*e be a
little bit &ore ,are/ul) Do not think 1u*t to have /un) $t +ill ,au*e unha22ine**
to you and to the other* later on)
$t i* kno+n that the 2eo2le in the old day* had all kind* o/ ,ere&onie*)
;or eFa&2le< in a +edding< *o&e ,ou2le* &ight have only an au*2i,iou*
ti&e /or the &arriage it*el/ but it +a* not good /or *lee2ing together)
Even though the bridegroo& had already ,o&e to the hou*e o/ the bride
and *he +a* legally hi* +i/e< he *till had to +ait) !o&eti&e* a* long a*
three night* be/ore he +ould be allo+ed to enter her bedroo&) Even 1u*t
to enter the bedroo&< they had *everal ,ere&onie*< *u,h a* 2aying ho&age
to the Buddha and to ,hant &antra be/ore *lee2ing together) Thi*
)8
kind o/ ,ere&onie* tea,he* a 2er*on not to a,t on the *2ur o/ a &o&ent<
to think be/ore taking any a,tion) Be,au*e a,ting re,kle**ly i* not a natural
,hara,teri*ti, o/ a hu&an being< it i* that o/ ani&al* or un,iviliBed
*avage*) All ,ere&onie* *ho+ that< *avage* no longer inhabit the *o,ietyG
and the 2eo2le live together in an orderly /a*hion)
Any ,ou2le*< +ho +i*h to have good ,hildren to ,arry their na&e*<
*hould /ollo+ thi* guideline) Think o/ the &erit o/ the Tri2le .e&* by
2aying ho&age and ,hanting &antraG thinking about the good deed*
o/ their 2arent* and the /ore/ather* in the 2a*t in order to enliven their
&ind* +ith +hole*o&e in,ident* then they ,an ,ohabit a* &an and +i/e)
$t i* not 1u*t /or /un) But they &u*t al*o eF2e,t to have ,hildren to ,arry
their /a&ily na&e) 0ake a +i*h /or a +hole*o&e *oul to enter the body
o/ the +i/e) Even the +o&an *hould think the *a&e thought) Thi* i* to
,reate goodne** in their &ind* and the goodne** +ill ho2e/ully be tran*/erred
to the ,hild later on)
Any ti&e you /eel *ad or have any e&otion* /illed +ith lu*t< anger< or
delu*ion< or any de/ile&ent< 2lea*e donCt do anything that &ay give ri*e to
having a ,hild) A *in/ul &ind +ill al+ay* have *in/ul e//e,t*) The 2eo2le
in the old day* had *everal taboo*< *u,h a*< the birthday* o/ the &an and
hi* +i/eG the death day o/ the 2arent*G the !abbath day their religionG the
day the +i/e had her 2eriod or be,a&e ill /or any rea*on< all +ere ,on*idered
ina22ro2riate day*) The hu*band and the +i/e *hould not have a *eFual
inter,our*e at all) The rea*on they +ere taught to ob*erve tho*e day*
+a* be,au*e the 2ra,ti,e +ould di*,ourage the& /ro& being too 2reo,,u2ied
+ith *eF) To be too 2reo,,u2ied +ith *eF doe* never 2rodu,e any
good thing*) Do not have *eF 1u*t /or /un but only to have good ,hildren
to ,arry the good na&e) And do not en1oy *eF *o &u,h that you be,o&e
intoFi,ated by it) Thi* 2lan +a* +ell thought o/ by the 2eo2le in the old
day* and +e at the 2re*ent ti&e *hould try to 2ra,ti,e it a* +ell) Thi* +ill
al*o hel2 2revent the *o,iety /ro& deteriorating any /urther and to have
a brighter /uture)
During the ti&e the &other i* 2regnant< it i* an i&2ortant 2art o/
her li/e) $t i* the ti&e a very 2re,iou* a,t i* taking 2la,e /or her and her
/a&ily) There &u*t be a routine to /ollo+ both 2hy*i,ally and &entally) $t
)4
i* a duty o/ a &edi,al do,tor to give advi,e in the 2hy*i,al a*2e,t in order
/or the &other to have good and healthy body) The baby in*ide her +ill
be healthy a* +ell) The &other &u*t be 2arti,ularly ,are/ul about the
/ood *he eat*) Be,au*e a 2regnant +o&an ha* a double live*) $/ *he 2ro*2er*<
both live* +ill 2ro*2er) $/ *he de,ay*< both live* +ill de,ay)
0entally *2eaking< it i* very i&2ortant) $n the old day*< a 2regnant
+o&an +ould *tri,tly ob*erve the ;ive Pre,e2t*'
;ir*tly< *he +ould re/rain /ro& killing ani&al*< a,ting ,ruelly to ani&al*
or +at,hing other 2eo2le torturing ani&al*) $n all ,a*e< *he +ould
2ra,ti,e being kind%hearted and having ,o&2a**ion to all kind* o/ ani&al*)
Thi* +ould hel2 beauti/y her &ind in one +ay)
!e,ondly< *he &u*t be ,ontent +ith +hat *he 2o**e**ed and to have
re*2e,t /or the 2ro2erty o/ other 2eo2le and to look at the& a* i/ they
+ere 2ebble* o/ no value) !he &u*t never allo+ greed to enter her &ind)
Thirdly< *he &u*t kee2 her &ind totally 2ure *o a* not to allo+ her
*eFual de*ire to e&erge) !he &u*t ab*olutely re/rain /ro& having *eF
until *he had given birth to a baby) !he +ould not do anything that +ould
*ti&ulate her *eFual de*ire) $t i* be*t that 2regnant +o&an a,t like a ,elibate
2er*on)
;ourthly< only the truth< /riendly +ord*< +ord* to 2ro&ote unity and
*he *2oke u*e/ul +ord*) !he +ould re/rain /ro& talking about un*uitable
*ub1e,t*) $n ,a*e *he &u*t and *hould *2eak< *he +ould do it a22ro2riately
and not to overdo it) DonCt talk too &u,h< it &ay ,reate ,on/u*ion
in the &ind)
;i/thly< 2regnant +o&an +ould ab*olutely ab*tain /ro& ,on*u&ing
all kind* o/ al,oholi, drink*) They have no u*e/ul 2ur2o*e* at all) Certain
2la,e* are al*o not *uitable /or her< *u,h a*< ga&bling den*< bull/ight ring*<
ra,etra,k*< boFing *tadiu&* and other 2la,e* +hi,h are *,ary and too
eF,iting) Tho*e are the 2la,e* that *hould not be vi*ited by a 2regnant
+o&an at all)
"ne day $ &et a /a&ily o/ a govern&ent o//i,ial in the !outh) He
+orked a&ong our $*la&i, brother*) $*la&i, 2eo2le have a rite< +hi,h i*
,alled a ,ir,u&,i*ion ,ere&ony +here a /ore*kin o/ the 2eni* o/ a boy i*
,ir,u&,i*ed) The ,ere&ony i* i&2ortant) $t i* like 2aying ho&age to a
=:
Buddha i&age in Buddhi*&) The govern&ent o//i,ial +a* invited to +itne**
the ,ere&ony and he took hi* +i/e along +ith hi& even though it
+a* ,on*idered ina22ro2riate /or a 2regnant +o&an to be 2re*ent) But
,urio*ity &ade her go and *he *a+ everything in the ,ere&ony) Later *he
gave birth to a baby boy +ho*e 2eni* had the /ore*kin that looked like
it +a* ,li22ed eFa,tly the *a&e a* in the ,ir,u&,i*ion rite) Thi* +a* an
eFa&2le o/ ,arrying a baby in the +o&b to i&2ro2er 2la,e*)
A &an +a* very ade2t in 2laying ,ard*) When a*ked he *aid hi*
&other liked to 2lay ,ard* *o &u,h) When *he +a* 2regnant o/ hi&< *he
+ent to 2lay ,ard* regularly *o the *on loved to 2lay ,ard* 1u*t like the
&other) A habit o/ the &other +a* tran*/erred to hi&) Thi* i* an eFa&2le
+hi,h ,learly *ho+ed ho+ the &other ,ondu,ted her*el/ ,ould a//e,t the
habit* and ,hara,ter* o/ her ,hildren) The &other +ho i* 2regnant &u*t
be very ,are/ul /or the good e//e,t* on the loved one) But the &other alone
,annot take ,are o/ every *ituation) !he need* hel2 /ro& the /ather)
During the ti&e o/ her 2regnan,y< the hu*band ha* to 2ay *2e,ial
attention to hi* +i/e) Do not go out or *tay a+ay late to *ear,h /or /un
and ga&e out*ide hi* ho&e) Be 2un,tual about ,o&ing ho&e /ro& +ork)
Re&e&ber that *o&e one at ho&e i* +aiting /or you) !he need* to be
,o&/orted) !he al*o need* *y&2athy) Never o//end her in any +ay) The
unha22ine** o/ the &other +ill al*o a//e,t the baby) The hu*band ha*
to 2ay &ore attention to her and *ho+ hi* love and under*tanding &ore
than u*ual) .ive her *o&e gi/t*) Talk to her to ,heer her u2) Any /un
thing* you u*ed to do be/ore have to *to2 +hile the +i/e i* 2regnant)
Plea*e try to *tay ho&e) The thing that hurt* the +i/e the &o*t i* +hen
the hu*band i* late ,o&ing ho&e at night or +hen *he heard that you
+ent out +ith another +o&an) The*e t+o thing* hurt a great deal) You
have to be ,are/ul)
By nature< +o&en are very *en*itive) E*2e,ially during her 2regnan,y<
the /eeling* are *tronger than u*ual) Do not light a /ire< i)e)< trouble* and
hearta,he< in your /a&ily) !o&e +o&en are very 1ealou* +hen they are
2regnant) They are *en*itive) A little ,on/li,t &ay ,au*e trouble that i*
very hard to *to2) ;or thi* rea*on< the hu*band &u*t have 2atien,e) DonCt
be a* *en*itive a* the +i/eG one *ide i* /ire< another *ide &u*t be,o&e
=)
+ater) DonCt burn your o+n hou*e +ith your anger) When the ti&e to
give birth i* ,o&ing near< the +o&an i* a/raid to a ,ertain degree be,au*e
delivering a baby i* very i&2ortant) The hu*band *hould take hi* +i/e to
*ee a do,tor on,e in a +hile to re,eive 2ro2er &edi,al advi,e and 2hy*i,al
eFa&ination to learn about the eF2e,ting date in advan,e) The hu*band
*hould not travel /ar and *hould 2re2are all ne,e**ary ite&* /or the little
one +ho i* ,o&ing out to *ee the +orld a* +ell) He &u*t talk to her about
good u*e/ul ne+*< the ne+* that +ill ea*e her &ind) Allo+ her to &eet<
to *ee and to hear only good< +hole*o&e thing*) That +ill hel2 both the
&other and the ,hild to be 2er/e,t &entally a* eF2e,ted and +i*hed /or)
+ater) DonCt burn your o+n hou*e +ith your anger) When the ti&e to
give birth i* ,o&ing near< the +o&an i* a/raid to a ,ertain degree be,au*e
delivering a baby i* very i&2ortant) The hu*band *hould take hi* +i/e to
*ee a do,tor on,e in a +hile to re,eive 2ro2er &edi,al advi,e and 2hy*i,al
eFa&ination to learn about the eF2e,ting date in advan,e) The hu*band
*hould not travel /ar and *hould 2re2are all ne,e**ary ite&* /or the little
one +ho i* ,o&ing out to *ee the +orld a* +ell) He &u*t talk to her about
good u*e/ul ne+*< the ne+* that +ill ea*e her &ind) Allo+ her to &eet<
to *ee and to hear only good< +hole*o&e thing*) That +ill hel2 both the
&other and the ,hild to be 2er/e,t &entally a* eF2e,ted and +i*hed /or)
ard
o/ the religion and the ,u*to&* 2ra,ti*ed by the 2eo2le in the old day*)
Thi* +ill hel2 &ake our ,hildren good< +hole*o&e 2er*on*< +ho +ill be
u*e/ul to our ,ountry) Tho*e o/ you< +ho are going to be the /ather* and
the &other*< *hould ,ondu,t your*elve* in thi* +ay) You +ill have a ha22y
and 2ro*2erou* li/e a* you have +i*hed /or)
==
Chara,ter Tran*/er
Chara,ter Tran*/er
L
L
A!T !ATURDAY< $ tried to eF2lain /or you to under*tand the &eaning
o/ the right +ay /or hu*band and +i/e to live together) $ talked
about the &ethod* u*ed in the old day* a* to ho+ to ,ondu,t the&*elve*)
$ talked in great length to &ake *ure you under*tood and i/ you u*e it in
your daily li/e< your little /a&ily +ill be,o&e a 2aradi*e) You your*el/ +ill
be,o&e an angel all o/ a *udden) $t i* very ea*y to &ake your*el/ an angel
by /ollo+ing Dha&&a 2rin,i2le in Buddhi*&) You &ight be +ondering
+hy $ e&2ha*iBed *o &u,h the li/e o/ hu*band and +i/e) $* it that i&2ortantJ
$ &u*t *ay< it i* very i&2ortant)
$ have been to *everal ,ere&onie* ,a*ting big Buddha i&age*) "n
the day they +ere going to 2our liHuid gold into the &ould that had been
*,ul2tured< $ looked at the ,hie/ engineer and hi* +orker*) All o/ the&
+ere dre**ed in +hite to 2ay ho&age to the Tri2le .e&*) ) They de,lared
rea//ir&ing their belie/ in the ;ive Pre,e2t*) The Buddhi*t &onk* +ere
al*o invited to be 2re*ent a* +itne**e* and to ,hant &antra) There +ere
,ere&onie* to 2ay ho&age to the angel* and the tea,her* a* +ell) $ a*ked
the& +hy they had to do all that) The an*+er al+ay* +a* /or ,ere&onial
2ur2o*e only) But $ think the real i**ue o/ the*e 2ra,ti,e* ha* a lot
do to +ith &ental a22li,ation) During the ti&e tho*e engineer* +ere
+orking on &aking or giving birth to a Buddha i&age /or the 2eo2le
to 2ay re*2e,t< the +orker*< +ho 2oured the gold &u*t have a 2uri/ied
&ind) They &u*t al*o ob*erve high &oral 2rin,i2le the&*elve* to &ake
a beauti/ul Buddha i&age +ithout any ob*ta,le*) The +ay they did their
+ork had a lot o/ good &eaning) When you think about it you +ill realiBe
thi* /a,t) $n &aking a Buddha i&age< +hi,h ha* no *oul /ro& +hi,h
the &ind o/ the +orker* ,an be tran*/erred< they *till u*ed a 2ro,edure
+hereby the +orker* had to 2o**e** to *o&e degree< a &ind o/ a Buddha
to do the right 1ob) They did not 1u*t do it un,ere&oniou*ly and +ithout
2ro2er 2lanning)
$n ,reating a hu&an being< it *hould u*e the *a&e &ethod) A* a
=?
&atter o/ /a,t< to &ake a hu&an being or a baby< the ,ere&ony and the
&ind 2re2aration *hould be &ore inten*e than in &aking an inani&ate
ob1e,t be,au*e the habit and ,hara,ter o/ the ,reator* ,an be tran*/erred
a* +ell) $/ the ,reator i* kind and generou*< everything +ill be all right)
$/ the ,reator i* a bad 2er*on< the o//*2ring +ill al*o be bad) An o//*2ring
or a thie/ +ill likely be a thie/) An o//*2ring o/ a learned 2er*on< +ill
likely be,o&e a learned 2er*on) $t +ill not ,hange that &u,h) A,tual *ituation*
like thi* ,an ea*ily be /ound in 2re*ent day li/e< i/ tho*e 2eo2le
have been taught the right +ay and in the right environ&ent) The in/luen,e
o/ good environ&ent +ill enable hi* thought to /o,u* on doing good
deed*) A* &entioned be/ore< to a,,o&2li*h thi*< it &u*t be done in 2air)
$n other +ord*< both *ide* &u*t be eHually good or they +ill bla&e ea,h
other +hen the ,hild ha* gone badly) The &other +ill *ayG the blood o/
your /ather i* bad) The /ather on the other hand +ill *ayG very bad ne+*<
your &otherC* blood i* bad) The /a,t o/ the &atter i* both o/ the& +ere
+rong in that they did not try to en,ourage the ,hild in the right +ay)
There/ore $ +ould like to give you an advi,e that the hu*band and the +i/e
*hould behave the&*elve* like t+o 2eo2le in the *a&e boat) Both o/ the&
*hould 2o**e** +hatever +hole*o&e attribute* together) Then thing* +ill
go &ore *&oothly) $n *hort< the 2arent* &u*t ob*erve Dha&&a o/ their
religion and &oral *tandard) $t i* analogou* to the &ould* u*ed /or ,a*ting<
+hi,h &u*t /it on both the u22er and the lo+er 2art*) The t+o 2art*
+ill be a good &at,h +ithout any /la+*) The i&age obtained /ro& the
,a*ting +ill be beauti/ul +ithout a doubt)
At thi* 2oint< $ +ould like to tell an an,ient *tory /or you to give it a
little thought) $t i* not a Thai *tory) $t i* about China) Not in the 2re*ent
ti&e but it +a* an old *tory) $t ha22ened a very long ti&e ago< *o long +e
donCt kno+ +hen)
"n,e u2on a ti&e< there +a* an e&2eror o/ China +ho +a* a +eakling)
The ad&ini*tration o/ the ,ountry +a* in e//e,t in the hand* o/
the eunu,h*< +ho *erved the e&2eror ,lo*ely) Tho*e eunu,h* +ould *ay
thing* to the e&2eror to try to in/luen,e the e&2eror to do thing* /or
their o+n bene/it* all the ti&e) The *ituation* o/ the ,ountry +ere not
going +ell but not that badly) $t +a* like thi*' the eunu,h* +ho *erved
=6
the e&2eror ke2t bringing hi& good looking young girl*G they &ade
&u*i, and 2layed /iddle all day all nightG the e&2eror only *tayed in
and had *eF) They 1u*t had /un and never thought about develo2ing their
e&2ire< a* they *hould) !o&e govern&ent o//i,ial* +ere ,orru2ted in variou*
+ay*) There +ere ru&our* all over) During that ti&e< there +a* a big
and i&2ortant te&2le *ituated in a very beauti/ul lo,ation) There +ere
*everal natural ,ave*) When the &onk* ,a&e to build the te&2le< they
&ade the 2la,e &ore beauti/ul in &any +ay*) Nor&ally< there +ere &any
2eo2le vi*iting thi* te&2le during the holiday*) The &onk* +ould o2en
any 2la,e* in the te&2le< +hi,h *hould be ad&ired to allo+ the 2eo2le to
*ee a* they +i*hed) Ho+ever< there +a* one roo&< the door o/ +hi,h +a*
,hained by a big 2adlo,k and a *eal) $t had never been o2ened /or anyone
to enter the roo&) 0o*t 2eo2le +anted to take a look in*ide the roo&
but they +ere never allo+ed to do *o) Naturally any< *e,ret 2la,e* indu,e
,urio*ity) $/ it i* o2ened nobody +ill 2ay any attention to it)
"ne day the big ,hie/ o/ 2oli,e and hi* ,ronie* ,a&e to thi* te&2le)
Thi* ,hie/ o/ 2oli,e +a* hotheaded and /ier,e) He loved to u*e hi* 2o+er)
He o/ten *aid that under the *un there +a* nothing the 2oli,e ,ould not
do) He had *everal ,lo*e a**o,iate*< +ho +ere /ier,e looking like hi&<
+ith hi&) When they arrived at the te&2le< the abbot o/ the te&2le 2re2ared
a *2e,ial re,e2tion /or the& *eeing that they +ere big 2eo2le and
they +ere i&2ortant) They +ere *ho+n all the 2la,e* that *hould be *een
eF,e2t that *e,ret roo&< +hi,h the abbot did not o2en /or the& to *ee)
The big 2oli,e ,hie/ naturally be,a&e intere*ted in that roo&) He a*ked
+hat +a* in*ide the roo&) The abbot told hi& that the roo& +a* o,,u2ied
by *o&ething that *hould not be *een by hu&an being) The ,hie/ o/
2oli,e be,a&e &ore ,uriou* +hile the abbot tried very hard to eF2lain in
detail* the rea*on* not to o2en that roo&) The 2oli,e ,ould not ,ontrol
hi* ,urio*ity) At long la*t< +hen he +a* a*ked in *u,h a +ay a* to *ound
like a ,o&&and< the abbot relu,tantly unlo,ked the door to let the &an
*ee in*ide the roo&)
But there +a* nothing that ,ould be *een by the 2hy*i,al eye*) All
the thing* detained in*ide +ere invi*ible to the naked eye*) Tho*e +ere
the evil *2irit*< +hi,h had been 2uni*hed and +ere gathered in that 2ar
=9
ti,ular roo&) A* *oon a* the door +a* o2ened< tho*e *2irit* +ere *et /ree)
They +ere /loating around in the air all over to /ind 2la,e* to be reborn)
At any rate< tho*e evil *2irit* +ere unable to enter the body o/ +hole*o&e
2eo2le) They ke2t +andering to /ind *uitable 2la,e*)
ti,ular roo&) A* *oon a* the door +a* o2ened< tho*e *2irit* +ere *et /ree)
They +ere /loating around in the air all over to /ind 2la,e* to be reborn)
At any rate< tho*e evil *2irit* +ere unable to enter the body o/ +hole*o&e
2eo2le) They ke2t +andering to /ind *uitable 2la,e*)
er*
o/ +hi,h +ere good /or nothing) They entered the bodie* o/ the ladie*
o/ tho*e hou*ehold*) While a *2irit +a* *till in the +o&b< not &u,h da&age
+a* done) But a/ter a baby +a* born< due to the /a,t that the origin o/
the *2irit +a* bad< the 2la,e o/ birth +a* bad and +hen the baby ,a&e out<
it en,ountered again un+hole*o&e in,ident*< it re,eived *o &u,h negative
in/luen,e*) When the /ir*t bat,h o/ evil *2irit* gre+ u2 and +a* able to
/ind the 1ob*< +hi,h +ere given to the& by their in/luential /ather*< they
did not have to +ork be,au*e their /ather* +ere i&2ortant and 2o+er/ul)
They had a lot o/ in/luential /riend*) They took advantage o/ the other
2eo2le at the +ork 2la,e) They and their /riend* +ent out and did all the
bad thing*) China during that 2eriod had all kind* o/ ,orru2tion< +hi,h
+ere re,orded in the hi*tory book*) Where did tho*e evil* ,o&e /ro&J
They +ere the re*ult* o/ *tubbornne**< *el/i*hne**< and nu&erou* non*en*i,al
a,t*) That +a* +hy there +a* *o &u,h trouble and unha22ine**)
Thi* *tory taught u* that the evil* in the ,hildren o,,urred be,au*e
o/ the 2arent* +ho ,reated the& in the /ir*t 2la,e) $t *hould re&ind all
o/ u* to be &ore ,are/ul +ith our*elve* /or the /uture o/ our /a&ilie* and
the /uture o/ our ,ountry< +hi,h +e love and trea*ure *o &u,h)
The Buddha *aid on,e that< DChildren are the /oundation o/ &ankind)E
Whether thi* +orld o/ our* +ill 2ro*2er or not de2end* on the
2arent* o/ today) 0any 2arent*< +ho ,on*ider the&*elve* &ode&< o/ten
do not 2ay attention to the ,hildren o/ their o+n) They +ill only 2er/or&
the duty o/ the ,reator o/ a li/e but do not really try to look a/ter the &ind
o/ the ,hildren) They leave their ,hildren to be brought u2 by a nanny /or
the &o*t 2art) $* that the right thing to doJ $ donCt think it i* right and
2ro2er be,au*e young ,hildren are like vine< they tend to ,li&b and
,ling to the ,lo*e*t ob1e,t) The ,hildren +ho are ,lo*e to the nanny naturally
+ill tran*2ort the habit* o/ the nanny to the&*elve*) $/ the nanny
i* a good 2er*on< it i* not *o bad) $/ the nanny i* a bad 2er*on< the *itua
=I
tion ,an turn /ro& bad to +or*e) Even though +e &ay be able to a,Huire
a good nanny< but the loving kindne** o/ the nanny i* di//erent /ro& that
o/ the 2arent*) The nanny +ill naturally think that *he i* only a nanny
and not the &other) But the &other realiBe* that *he i* the babyC* &other
and *he *hould 2ay *2e,ial attention and nurture the baby &ore) Thi*
kind o/ 2roble& *ee&* to get +or*e at the ti&e +hen the &other ha* to
+ork out*ide the ho&e be,au*e to earn a living in the 2re*ent ti&e i* di//erent
/ro& the 2a*t) Neverthele**< there *hould be a ti&e everyday +hen
the 2arent* and the ,hildren ,an be together a* long a* 2o**ible)
Ho+ to take ,are o/ the baby a/ter birth i* al*o very i&2ortant) $n
regard to thi* *ub1e,t< the &other *hould take an intere*t in learning
and &aking inHuiry /ro& tho*e +ho are eF2ert* in thi* /ield) There are
t+o kind* o/ eF2ert*< i)e)G the /ir*t grou2 i* eF2ert* in theory *u,h a* in
the /ield o/ *o,ial +ork< +ho hel2 the &other and the ,hildren) Even
though they the&*elve* &ay never have any ,hildren o/ their o+n< they
have a,Huired &u,h kno+ledge /ro& *tudying and ,an be ,on*idered an
eF2ert in thi* /ield) Another grou2 o/ 2eo2le i* the real &other*< +ho
have given birth to a baby and have rai*ed *everal ,hildren) They are
eF2ert* in 2ra,ti,al *en*e) A +o&an< +ho i* a novi,e in being the &other
o/ a baby< *hould a22roa,h thi* kind o/ 2eo2le) !he ,an learn /ro& a*king
about the right +ay and the +rong +ay o/ rai*ing ,hildren) Li*ten ,are/ully
to +hat they have to *ay and try to ada2t the *ituation to the one in
your /a&ily) A* a &atter o/ /a,t< there *hould be an a**o,iation o/ &other*
to be a &eeting 2la,e /or the &other* in a ,o&&unity to eF,hange
idea* and kno+ledge about ,hild rearing) The &e&ber* o/ the a**o,iation
,an go out and give advi*e* to tho*e +ho are ne+ to thi* kind o/ role
to under*tand their duty better) $ *u22o*e thi* kind o/ organiBation +ill
hel2 our *o,iety a great deal) There are all kind* o/ *,ien,e* in thi* +orld
and the kno+ledge o/ ho+ to rai*e good ,hildren *hould be one o/ tho*e
*,ien,e*) $/ thi* *,ien,e i* *tudied +idely< it i* a +ay to hel2 thi* +orld o/
our* to be &ore livable) The +orld +ill be &ore livable i/ there are &ore
good 2eo2le) The 2arent* *hould be the one* +ho ,reate good 2eo2le to
&ake the +orld &ore livable)
Any ,ou2le* not *uitable to give birth to a baby< not *uitable to breed<
=5
*hould not have a baby< be,au*e i/ they do< the ,hildren +ill be like
the&) The +orld +ill have &ore brain%de/i,ient 2eo2le) The 2eo2le +ith
brain de/i,ien,y +ill ,reate trouble* no &atter +here they are) Nobody
+ant* trouble) When +e donCt +ant trouble* +e have to look at our*elve*<
*hould not have a baby< be,au*e i/ they do< the ,hildren +ill be like
the&) The +orld +ill have &ore brain%de/i,ient 2eo2le) The 2eo2le +ith
brain de/i,ien,y +ill ,reate trouble* no &atter +here they are) Nobody
+ant* trouble) When +e donCt +ant trouble* +e have to look at our*elve*<
dren)E
$/ not you *hould de,ide to delay having ,hildren< be,au*e to do
that ,an al*o be ,on*idered a +hole*o&e a,t) $t i* one +ay to redu,e
the nu&ber o/ evil* in thi* +orld) "n the other hand< anybody< +ho i*
healthy both 2hy*i,ally and &entally and +ealthy a* +ell< +hen he or
*he +ant* to add hi* or her ,hildren to the 2o2ulation o/ the +orld< it i*
the right thing to do) $t +ill add the *trength both nu&eri,ally and in
+hole*o&ene** to thi* +orld o/ our*) $t i* the right thing to do a* a ,itiBen
o/ the +orld)
Ho2e/ully *o&e o/ you< +ho have read thi* 2art o/ the book< +ill /eel
*o&ething ha22en in your heart) $t *hould &ake you be a+are o/ the duty
o/ 2arenthood< +hi,h i* a great honour /or all hu&an being* and that you
+ill try to 2er/or& your duty to 2er/e,tion in the /uture)
=8
Pure Love
Pure Love
$
$
; !"0E"NE A!#! Y"U +hether you love your ,hildren< you &u*t think
that 2er*on ha* no ,hildren) Be,au*e anybody +ho ha* ,hildren &u*t
kno+ very +ell ho+ &u,h they love their ,hildren) The love o/ a /ather
and a &other i* a 2ure love< one +ithout any de/ile&ent or de*ire to
taint *u,h love) Tho*e +ho have no ,hildren do not kno+ about thi*
kind o/ love) The ,hildren &ay &i*under*tand the a,t +hen the 2arent*
*,olded and *2anked the&) They think the 2arent* do not love the&) A*
a &atter o/ /a,t the &ind and the &outh o/ the 2arent* are not talking
the *a&e language) The &outh i* *aying that the ,hildren are not good
but the &ind +ant* the& to be good) No 2arent* have bad intention
again*t their ,hildren) $t i* very unu*ual to /ind *o&e one like that) "n,e
in a +hile +e run into *o&e one that bad)
A1at*atruku&ar +a* a *on o/ #ing Bi&2i*arn) He be/riended Devadat<
a +ay+ard &onk) !o he +a* taught a le**on< +hi,h +a* totally +rong)
$t &ade hi& eFtre&ely angry +ith hi* /ather< the #ing) He arre*ted hi*
/ather and 2ut hi& in 1ail) He *u//ered *o &u,h that he died in 2ri*on)
During the ti&e A1at*atru +a* detaining hi* /ather in the 2ri*on< he had
no ,hildren and did not kno+ ho+ &u,h hi* /ather loved hi&) "n the
day the #ing +a* dying< A1at*atruC* +i/e gave birth to a baby boy) T+o
,ourtier* brought to hi& both the bad ne+* and the good ne+*) Both
o/ the& agreed +ith ea,h other that the birth o/ the boy *hould be told
/ir*t be,au*e birth +a* ,on*idered good ne+* +hile death +a* naturally
bad ne+* in the +orld even in tho*e an,ient day*) !o they in/or&ed hi&
about the birth o/ hi* *on /ir*t) A* *oon a* A1at*atru re,eived the good
ne+*< the in*tin,t to 2rote,t hi* /le*h and blood< the love o/ hi* *on< +a*
,on,eived in hi* heart) He kne+ that thi* love +a* i&&ea*urable) He al*o
/elt in hi* heart that +hen he +a* Da little boyE hi* /ather< the king< &u*t
have loved hi& a* &u,h a* he loved hi* ne+ *on) The /eeling o/ gratitude
/or hi* /ather over+hel&ed hi&) He realiBed all o/ a *udden that he had
been /ooli*h and +a* +rong to i&2ri*on hi* /ather) He thought about
=4
hi& and +ondered +hat had be,o&e o/ hi&) He +anted to order hi*
&en to relea*e hi* /ather /ro& the 2ri*on) But at that 2arti,ular &o&ent
another ,ourtier al*o in/or&ed hi& the king had died) Having re,eived
the ne+*< A1at*atru be,a&e eFtre&ely *orro+/ul /or hi& being *u,h an
ungrate/ul 2er*on< +ho al*o ,o&&itted a very +i,ked *in) But it +a*
already too late) There +a* no +ay to ,orre,t the *ituation) Thi* *tory
*ho+* ho+ *trong the love o/ a 2arent i*) Anybody +ith ,hildren kno+*
it very +ell) Not only hu&an but al*o ani&al*< +hi,h have their o//*2ring<
love the& very &u,h a* +ell)
hi& and +ondered +hat had be,o&e o/ hi&) He +anted to order hi*
&en to relea*e hi* /ather /ro& the 2ri*on) But at that 2arti,ular &o&ent
another ,ourtier al*o in/or&ed hi& the king had died) Having re,eived
the ne+*< A1at*atru be,a&e eFtre&ely *orro+/ul /or hi& being *u,h an
ungrate/ul 2er*on< +ho al*o ,o&&itted a very +i,ked *in) But it +a*
already too late) There +a* no +ay to ,orre,t the *ituation) Thi* *tory
*ho+* ho+ *trong the love o/ a 2arent i*) Anybody +ith ,hildren kno+*
it very +ell) Not only hu&an but al*o ani&al*< +hi,h have their o//*2ring<
love the& very &u,h a* +ell)
@
"n,e $ had a ,at) $n /a,t $ did not intend to kee2 it but $ took a look at it
and /elt ,o&2a**ion) !o $ gave it *o&e le/tover /ood) $t be,a&e atta,hed
to &e and did not +ant to leave) $t +a* a /e&ale ,at) A/ter a +hile< a &ale
,at ,a&e to vi*it during the night and *o *he got 2regnant) When that
ti&e ,a&e $ +a* ob*erving +here the birth +ould take 2la,e) "ne day
+hile $ +a* having a &eal< *he +ent into the kit,hen and lay do+n by a
boF< +hi,h +a* le/t there by *o&e one) !he 1u*t lay there Huietly /or a long
ti&e but there +a* no baby ,at) $t +a* only be,au*e the little kitten* in
her belly +ere &oving about a* i/ they +ere *aying< D0o&&y< &o&&y<
+e +ant to ,o&e out and *ee the +orld)E !o the &other ,at +ent looking
/or a 2ro2er 2la,e to deliver her babie*) $t took three &ore day* be/ore the
birth a,tually took 2la,e) $n the &orning a little a/ter nine oC,lo,k< the
,at +a* running around looking /or a 2ro2er 2la,e /or the delivery) $ had
2la,ed a +ooden boF /or her and $ ,u*hioned the boF +ith an old 2ie,e o/
,loth) The &other ,at +ent in and lay do+n in*ide the boF) !he began to
+rithe in 2ain) !he al*o tried to 2u*h by inhaling very hard to /or,e the
kitten* out) !he did not *u,,eed the /ir*t ti&e) $t looked to &e like the
,at +a* getting very tired and in great 2ain) !he *tarted to 2u*h /or the
*e,ond ti&e) A little kitten ,a&e out but only hal/ +ay) The &other ,at
t+i*ted her body around and ,ried in agony) $ *a+ +hat +a* ha22ening
and /elt ho+ 2iti/ul it looked *o $ u*ed &y hand to 2ull lightly the body
o/ the kitten out) A/ter that< the ,at *tarted to take ,are o/ her baby by
li,king out all the blood on it* body &aking it look ni,e and ,lean) A* /or
the kitten< +hi,h had not even o2ened it* eye*< it *tarted to &eo+ and
?:
tried to /eel /or a ni22le o/ it* &other right) Having /ound one< the little
kitten *u,ked it in hunger) $t re&inded &e o/ a Buddhi*t 2roverbG DAll
ani&al* live on /ood)E Without /ood< +e all die)
A/ter the delivery< the ,at did not go any+here /or t+enty%/our hour*)
!he did not eat any /ood or drink any +ater) !he *tayed ,lo*e e&bra,ing
the kitten +ith love) When the kitten &oved it* body< the &other
,at +ould ,on*ole it by li,king +ith her tongue a* i/ to *ay< D"hR 0y little
one< ho+ are youJ Do not *Huir&) $ a& *till here) $ +ill li,k your body
/or you) .o to *lee2< darling)E The &other ,at loved her kitten very &u,h)
The neFt day< the ,at +ent out a little to /ind *o&ething to eat) But *he
did not go very /ar) !he *ee&ed to be in a hurry to ,o&e ba,k be,au*e *he
+a* ,on,erned about the kitten) U2on entering the roo&< *he &ade *o&e
noi*e *ignalling< D0other i* ho&e and +here are youJ The little kitten<
hearing the voi,e o/ the &other ,at rai*ed it* head and tried to look but
the eye* ,ould not *ee anything yet and it had to u*e the *en*e o/ tou,h)
Having /ound the &other< it *tarted to *u,k &ilk /ro& her i&&ediately)
!o&eti&e* during the night and it +a* late< the ,at ,a&e ba,k a/ter the
door +a* ,lo*ed *o *he ,ould not enter< it &adeC *o&e noi*e to let &e
kno+) $ had to o2en the door /or her) !he +a* ha22y to *ee &e and *ho+
her gratitude by u*ing her head to rub on &y t+o leg*)
All kind* o/ ani&al* in general are *in,ere) They +ill do a* their &ind
tell* the& to do +ithout any 2reten*ion) "n the other hand< hu&an
being* 2retend too &u,h and very untru*t+orthy)
Plea*e do not think that the *tory $ 1u*t told you i* 1u*t a ,at *tory +ithout
any *ub*tan,e) Con*ider that ,at* al*o have *o&ething good to tea,h
hu&an e*2e,ially in regard to the love o/ it* &other) $t i* too bad that the
kitten had no /ather) Even though there +a* a &ale ,at *o&e+here< he did
not 2ay attention to hi* &ate and hi* o//*2ring) He only +anted to relieve
hi* *eFual need) A/ter the deed +a* done the &ale ,at +a* gone and took
no intere*t in anything) The hard +ork belonged to the &other ,at alone)
$t i* 2iti/ul) 0en +ith ,hara,teri*ti,* like ,at* are too 2lenti/ul in nu&ber)
They are &en +ith ,atC* heart) When they have lu*t in their &ind< they go
out /lirting +ith the +o&en until their need ha* been /ul/illed and then
they are gone) The +o&en get 2regnant and had babie*)
?)
A &an +ith a ,atC* &ind 2ay* no attention to anything) He i* a &an
+ho doe* not /it hi* hu&an body +ell at all) He doe* not 2er/or& the
duty o/ a /ather) He ha* no ,on*,ien,e in hi* heart +hat*oever) Hi* body
i* that o/ a &an but hi* heart i* eHual to that o/ a ,at) We *hould not talk
about hi& *o &u,h) $t i* a +a*te o/ ti&e< really)
A &an +ith a ,atC* &ind 2ay* no attention to anything) He i* a &an
+ho doe* not /it hi* hu&an body +ell at all) He doe* not 2er/or& the
duty o/ a /ather) He ha* no ,on*,ien,e in hi* heart +hat*oever) Hi* body
i* that o/ a &an but hi* heart i* eHual to that o/ a ,at) We *hould not talk
about hi& *o &u,h) $t i* a +a*te o/ ti&e< really)
tle
one to *tart running) The teeth al*o gre+ &outh/ul and they +ere very
+ell arranged be,au*e o/ 2ro2er diet) A/ter the kitten had it* &outh /ull
o/ the teeth< the &other ,at took it to the gra** la+n) !he +alked in the
/ront &eo+ing all the ti&e a* a *ignal to the kitten) The &other ,at taught
the kitten to /ind /ood her +ay) The kitten ran a/ter it* &other all the ti&e)
"ne day the ,at ,aught a *Huirrel) !he loved her kitten *o *he thought o/
it and brought the *Huirrel and dro22ed it at the *ide o/ the kitten) The
little kitten +a* *,ared) $t ran to hide near a nook at the +all) The &other
,at ,arried the *Huirrel in her &outh and +ent to the kitten and *ho+ed
it ho+ to *la2 and ho+ to bite the *Huirrel a* i/ to *ay that< DYou are gro+ing
u2) You &u*t learn to ,at,h a &ou*e< a *Huirrel) You &u*t de2end on
your*el/) You ,annot de2end on your &other all the ti&e)E $n the beginning<
the kitten +a* *till a/raid) A/ter having *&elled blood< it *tarted to
li,k the *Huirrel and ,arried it in it* &outh) The &other ,at 1u*t *at and
+at,hed until the kitten had eaten enough) Then *he ate the le/tover 2ortion)
The &other ,at loved the kitten and *a,ri/i,ed /or it thi* &u,h) "ur
&other* al*o love u* and *a,ri/i,e /or u* a great deal' *o&eti&e* a lot &ore)
D"hR The good deed* that have been done by our &other* ,an never be
de*,ribed in +hole by u* or by anyone)E
When you are li*tening to the *tory o/ thi* ,at< do not think that it
i* only a ,at *tory) Con*ider +hat you ,an learn /ro& it) $t +ill be a good
le**on /or you in taking ,are o/ your ,hildren in the /uture) Nature ha*
2rovided a +o&an< +ho i* to be,o&e the &other o/ a baby< to have *ev
eral organ*< +hi,h are di//erent /ro& tho*e o/ a &an) The &o*t i&2ortant
o/ +hi,h are the t+o brea*t*) The brea*t* are +here the /ood /or the ne+
born baby ,o&e* /ro&) $/ +e look at ani&al* you +ill *ee that in &a&
?=
&al* *u,h a* ,attle< ele2hant< hor*e< dog and ,at< +hen the o//*2ring i* *till
young the only /ood they have i* &ilk) And the &ilk really ,o&e* /ro&
the &other) We hu&an have &ilk /or our babie* but +e *ee& to en1oy
doing thing* in ,ontrary to the nature all the ti&e) A little baby doe* not
have the teeth to ,ru*h on the /ood) But the &other i* a/raid her baby
+ill not have enough /ood to nouri*h the body) !he grind* ri,e +ith *ugar
or banana /or the baby to eat) A +ay to /eed the baby +a* al*o very unu*ual
in that the baby +a* 2ut /a,e u2 lying *u2ine bet+een the t+o leg*
o/ the &other) The ground ri,e +a* *tu//ed in the babyC* &outh looking
&ore like *he +a* trying to hurt and not to /eed the baby) The baby ha*
no teeth to grind the *olid /ood) When a lot o/ ri,e i* eaten the *to&a,h
i* o/ten u2*et) !o&e babie* eat *o &u,h ri,e< the belly look* bloated and
the body look* like a ,at/i*h) $ +ant to e&2ha*iBe that it i* +rong to do
that) The &other *hould not be too ,on,erned about the baby not having
enough /ood) Little baby doe* not eat that &u,h) "nly the &other &ilk
i* *u//i,ient /or the need o/ it* little body) The ,attle ,ub* do not eat gra**
+hen they have no teeth) Hu&an babie* *hould do the *a&e)
Plea*e re&e&ber that the &otherC* &ilk i* the &o*t 2re,iou* /ood /or
a baby) A* long a* your ,hild ha* no teeth< do not give it anything but &ilk
eF,e2t in ,a*e the &other i* not healthy and doe* not have enough &ilk
/or all the /eeding) Then you *hould u*e ,anned &ilk or /re*h &ilk /ro&
,o+* or goat*< /or in*tan,e) To /eed babie* +ith thi* kind o/ &ilk< it ha* to
be done by kee2ing ,leanline** and *a/ety in &ind) ;re*h &ilk *hould be
boiled or 2a*teuriBed be/ore to kill ba,teria) 0ilk bottle*< &ilk ,ontainer*<
and ni22le* &u*t be ,lean and in good ,ondition all the ti&e) Re&e&ber
al*o that your baby ,an get *i,k +hen ,ertain di*ea*e* enter hi* or her
body) The &ilk and the ni22le* &ay be ,arrier* o/ the di*ea*e* *o boiling
+ater *hould be a22lied to ,lean the ni22le be/ore u*e) Be*ide &ilk< you
,an *HueeBe /ruit 1ui,e to /eed the baby but never too &u,h o/ it)
$n rai*ing ,hildren< the &other *hould ,on*ult nur*e* at a lo,al health
o//i,e) Do not do anything +ithout having any kno+ledge about it) The
li/e o/ your ,hildren i* 2ri,ele**) Al+ay* trea*ure the& in the right +ay
and *a/ely a* +ell) To /ollo+ one another in the +rong +ay i* not good
at all) !o&e 2eo2le *ay that $ have been brought thi* +ay< even you have
??
been through the *a&e thing) Thi* i* an outdated *tate&ent) The +orld
ha* 2rogre**ed *o &u,h) !o it i* a good idea that the birth and the ,are
o/ a baby ha* to be ,hanged al*o to /it the eFi*ting *ituation)
been through the *a&e thing) Thi* i* an outdated *tate&ent) The +orld
ha* 2rogre**ed *o &u,h) !o it i* a good idea that the birth and the ,are
o/ a baby ha* to be ,hanged al*o to /it the eFi*ting *ituation)
ever
it +ant*) The &other o/ten doe* not 2ay attention in thi* re*2e,t) ;or
eFa&2le< +hen a baby ,rie*< a ni22le +ill be *tu//ed in it* &outh i&&ediately)
Thi* i* al&o*t like &ilk /eeding +a* u*ed to *to2 the ,ryingG it ,reate*
a bad habit) When a baby ,rie*< the &other o/ten *ay*< D!to2 ,rying
2lea*e< $ +ill give you *o&e &ilk)E U*ing /ood a* bait all the ti&e +ill
*2oil a baby) $t i* not *u,h a good 2ra,ti,e) When a baby ,rie*< +e *hould
look /or a rea*on +hy it ,rie*) $t doe* not &ean that it i* hungry all the
ti&e) !o&eti&e* ant bite &ake* it ,ry) The linen &ay be +et +ith urine
and the baby ,rie*) $n *hort< +hen a baby ,rie* there i* a rea*on behind it)
Without any rea*on a baby doe* not ,ry< it doe* not bother you and it i*
not /u**y) The 2er*on +ho &ake* a baby ,ry i* the &other< +ho ha* &ade
a &i*take) ;or thi* rea*on< +hen you heard your baby ,ry< try to look /or
a rea*on /ir*t) 0ake a ,orre,tion at the ,au*e) Do not 1u*t give it the &ilk
be,au*e the baby +ill be *2oiled by thi* 2ra,ti,e later on)
The ti&e to /eed *hould be *et< *u,h a*< every t+o hour*< /or in*tan,e<
and only /or a rea*onable a&ount) DonCt /eed the baby until the &ilk /lo+*
over) A/ter /eeding< let it *lee2 to it* heart ,ontent in it* bed) !o&eti&e*<
the noi*e o/ the baby i* unbearable to the &other and &ake* her 2ay
&ore attention to it) The baby i* *2oiled be,au*e o/ thi* /a,t a* +ellG i)e)
+hen it +ant* anything it +ill thro+ a tantru& by ,rying loudly) The
&other +ill run to the re*,ue) The baby be,o&e* a ,ry baby) $/ you really
believe that the &attre** it *lee2* on i* 2er/e,tly all rightG he i* +ell /edG
there are no &o*Huitoe* to bother itG 1u*t let it ,ry) The ,rying o/ a baby i*
a good +ay to eF2and it* lung* and i* an eFer,i*e in it*el/) Do not bother
the baby< +hen it i* not the ti&e) Be/ore long< the baby +ill realiBe that
,rying doe* not do any good and it i* tiring /or nothing) The baby +ill be
&ore tolerant and +ill not be a ,ry baby any longer)
Ti&e i* i&2ortant) To do thing* in an orderly /a*hion +ill in*till di*,i2line
in your ,hildren) $ +ould like to 2re*ent thi* idea to you to rai*e
your ,hildren the right +ay)
?6
An EFa&2le o/ Your Children
An EFa&2le o/ Your Children
P
P
LEA!E L$!TEN to the neFt 2art o/ DLove your ,hildren the right +ay)E
$n the 2reviou* 2art $ talked about your love /or your ,hildren and
at the end $ talked about +hat to /eed your ,hildren and ho+ to do that
2ro2erly) $ did not give that &u,h in/or&ation be,au*e you ,an get &ore
o/ that /ro& the literature* o/ the organiBation* a**i*ting &other* and
their ,hildren) Today $ a& going to talk about other to2i,* +hi,h the
&other* *hould kno+ in order /or the& to under*tand ,hildren and their
natural ,hara,teri*ti,* better)
To bring u2 the ,hildren and to do the 1ob +ell< +e &u*t have 2ro2er
kno+ledge about +hat they are and +hat they +ant) $t i* like *o&e one
+ho +ant* to do /ar&ing< ha* to learn to under*tand about the *oil< the
,li&ate and the 2lant*< +hi,h he or *he +ant* to gro+) !o&e one +ho
take* ,are o/ a dog< /or in*tan,e< ha* to kno+ it* natural in,lination to
be able to train it 2ro2erly) No+aday*< &any 2eo2le love to rai*e big and
*&all /oreign dog* and *ell the& at high 2ri,e*) !o&e hou*e* have *everal
dog*) They need book* telling the& ho+ to train dog* o/ *2e,i/i, breed*)
And they ,an really train tho*e dog*) !o&e 2eo2le ,an never train their
o+n ,hildren but they ,an train dog* to be,o&e good dog*) The rea*on
/or being able to do that i* be,au*e they have *tudied and under*tood
the 2roble&* +ell) $/ +e have *kill* in +hat +e do +e +ill be able to do
it +ell)
$n +riting thi* arti,le about ,hildren< $ +ent to the library at the
Buddha*athan Auditoriu& to /ind book* about ,hildren) $ looked /or
the& /or a long ti&e but $ /ound nothing) There +ere all kind* o/ book*
but none on ,hildrenR $t &ade &e think that the Thai 2eo2le thought
*o little about thi* 2roble&) Be,au*e o/ thi* la,k o/ intere*t< it ha* &ade
1uvenile 2roble&* a big i**ue no+)
0o*t 2arent* brought u2 their ,hildren the +ay they had *een other
2eo2le doing it in the 2a*t) They did not /ollo+ any 2rin,i2le* or guideline*)
Anybody +ho*e ,hildren did +ell in their live*< i/ they +ere a*ked
?9
ho+ they brought u2 their ,hildren to be that goodG they +ould be at
a lo** to give a good an*+er) Be,au*e they had no re,ord* +hat*oever
o/ +hat they had done) !o&e +ere even +or*t than that) They 2aid
no attention at all and 1u*t le/t the &atter* to /ate &ore than anything
el*e) They thought all thing* o/ten de2end on /ortune or &i*/ortune) To
think like that i* +rong) To *ay that thing* de2end on /ortune or &i*/ortune<
a* a &atter o/ /a,t< &ean* they de2end on the deed*) The li/e
o/ the ,hildren i* the re*ult o/ the deed* o/ the 2arent*) When the 2arent*
are re*2on*ible /or the birth o/ the ,hildren then it i* al*o ,on*idered
the &o*t i&2ortant duty to train the& to be,o&e good 2eo2le
in the /uture)
A little baby in a ,radle i* ne+ to the +orld) He or *he i* *o&eone<
+ho in,rea*e* the nu&ber o/ the &e&ber* in the /a&ilyG *o&eone +ho i*
like a ,ute little ani&al< +ho *hould be nurturedG *o&eone +ho i* inno,ent
to the +orld o/ de,eit and 0aya) A baby al*o bring* 1oy to the 2arent*
and all relative*) A babyC* eye* are ,lear +ithout any tra,e* o/ evil) $/
you /o,u* your attention to the babyC* &anneri*&< you +ill /eel /un< +onder<
intere*t< and 1oy/ul ha22ine** that you /orget about your o+n being)
You /orget that the little baby i* gro+ing u2 and you are gro+ing older
and older) You /orget even the hard*hi2 you endured in rearing hi& or
her) The 2arent* never thought that the 1ob +a* tiring and burden*o&e or
i +a* a bad kar&a to have a baby born to the&) "n the other hand tho*e
+ho do not have a baby to ad&ire and to 2lay +ith are the one* +ho are
lonely and think that they have bad kar&a not having any ,hildren) But
in /a,t< to have or not to have ,hildren i* di,tated by a natural 2heno&enon<
+hi,h no one ,an have any *ay about) You donCt need to +orry about
having or not having anything) Tho*e +ho have *hould try to do their
duty a* +ell a* they ,an) And tho*e +ho donCt have *hould think that it
i* a good thing a* +ell)
The /uture o/ the baby in the ,radle de2end* on the 2arent* +ho
hel2ed ,reate it) There i* a *ayingG DNature ,reate* the body o/ a &an
+hile the 2arent* *ha2e the habit and ,ondu,t o/ a ,hild)E The body
o/ a ,hild i* a 2rodu,t o/ all the thing* given by the 2arent*) A* /or the
&ind or habit< it i* a 2rodu,t o/ the training by the 2arent* a* +ell) $/ the
?I
2arent*< +ho re2rodu,ed the babie*< did not 2ay attention in bringing
the& u2< the babie* +ould never be,o&e good 2er*on*) $n /oreign &ovie*<
there +a* a *tory about a +ol/ bringing u2 a boy *in,e he +a* a baby until
he be,a&e a big boy) He ,ould not talk in a hu&an languageG he did not
a,t like a hu&an being either) The /ood he ate +a* not the kind o/ /ood
/or hu&an) That +a* be,au*e he had been told to behave and a,t like that)
A baby< +ho +a* born a hundred 2er,ent Thai< but +a* brought u2 by a
Chine*e 2arent< +a* gro+ing u2 in a Chine*e environ&ent< +ould natu
rally be,o&e a Chine*e 2er*on) !o the 2arent* &u*t al+ay* give the ,hildren
the right +ay both 2hy*i,ally and &entally)
The li/e o/ a *&all ,hild i* *o &u,h di//erent /ro& that o/ an adult) A
,hild li/e i* the *i&2le*t) $t ha* no de,eit/ulne** and ,o&2leFitie* but it
al*o ha* no /reedo&) That i* to *ay it ha* to de2end on the 2arent*< the
nanny and the baby%*itter all o/ the ti&e) $t i* that o/ *o&eone +ho ,annot
hel2 oneC* *el/) A* /or the li/e o/ an adult< it i* &u,h &ore ,o&2leF) $t
ha* &ore and &ore /reedo& and it doe* not have to rely on other 2eo2le
all the ti&e) $t al*o ha* &ore tri,k* u2 it* *leeve*) But the li/e o/ a baby
lying on a little &attre** i* &o*t ea*ily under*tood) $t doe* not have anything
other than being dire,t and inno,ent) $t ha* not re,eived the 0aya
o/ the +orld that ,ould have intoFi,ated it) $t* eF2re**ion i* al+ay* dire,t
and to the 2oint)
Babie* *lee2 ha22ily and ,ontentedly +hen there i* nothing to di*turb
the& 2hy*i,ally and &entally) They 1u*t lie there *&iling at everybody
+ho ,o&e* ,lo*e naturally li/ting their ar&* and leg* +ith ,ontent&ent)
$/ there i* *o&ething +rong they +ill eF2re** their /eeling o/ di*2lea*ure
i&&ediately by ,rying +ith a loud noi*e to tell everybody) $/ you
ob*erve ,are/ully< you +ill *ee that +hen +e *&ile at a baby< it *ee&* to
*&ile ba,k at u*) $/ +e &ake a *ullen /a,e< it +ill do the *a&e) $/ +e &ake
a /unny /a,e by *ti,king out the tongue< it +ill *ti,k out it* tongue a* +ell)
A baby +ill do everything it ha* 2er,eived or *een) But it doe* not under*tand
the &eaning +hy adult* did +hat they did) Being inno,ent< a baby
re,eived both good and bad in it* &ind) The thing* +e ,all love< hatred<
en1oy&ent< loneline** and other*< a young one ,annot inter2ret tho*e
&eaning*) $t ,an only eF2re** +hat it ha* *een< +hi,h *hould be a,tually
?5
,alled a re/le,tion< and it doe* not indi,ate a true /eeling) A ,hildC* li/e i*
there/ore *till o2en and ea*ily vi*ible)
,alled a re/le,tion< and it doe* not indi,ate a true /eeling) A ,hildC* li/e i*
there/ore *till o2en and ea*ily vi*ible)
,reet
ability) $/ an inno,ent ability i* un*table it +ill a//e,t negatively the
di*,reet ability) And i/ the 2arent* are not u2 to the ta*k and do not try
to ta,kle the 2roble& right a+ay< da&age +ill be done in the &ind o/ the
,hildren) $n order that it +ill not be too late< the 2arent* +ho are *u22o*ed
to look a/ter the ,hildren< *hould be ,are/ul not to allo+ your ,hildren
to *ee or kno+ about un*uitable event*)
A 2ainter< a/ter he or *he ha* 2ainted on any ob1e,t and i/ the 2aint
i* *till +et< +ill be e*2e,ially ,are/ul not to allo+ anything or anybody to
tou,h it be,au*e anything *ti,king to the *ur/a,e +illC *i&2ly *tay there
and ,an never be taken o//) The *a&e i* true /or the ,hildren +ho have
inno,ent abilityG they +ill ea*ily ab*orb anything) A/ter it +a* ab*orbed
it +ould 1u*t *tay there /or a long ti&e and it< &ay be har&/ul to the ,hildren
in the /uture) $/ you donCt believe in thi* 2rin,i2le< you ,an try it
your*el/ by a,ting *o&ething /or a baby to *ee re2eatedly) $t +ill not take
long /or hi& or her to a,t the +ay you did)
Re&e&ber that the ,hildren are ob*ervant and very Hui,k to re&e&ber)
They nor&ally are ,uriou* to kno+ and to *ee everything that tou,he*
their /ive *en*e*) $/ they ,an utter the +ord*< you +ould never be able to
an*+er all the Hue*tion* that they have /or you) A/ter they have learned
and re&e&bered anything< they +ill re&e&ber the& the re*t o/ their
live*) Thi* /a,t i* kno+n to all o/ u*) Any kno+ledge +e re,eived +hen
young< it &ay *tay in our &ind and never to be /orgotten) But any kno+ledge
+e re,eived at t+enty year* old i* *o hard to re&e&ber) The brain o/
a ,hild doe* not ,ontain anything that i* ,on/u*ing *o it i* very +ell re,e2tive
o/ anything) When you have learned about thi* truth< 2lea*e al+ay*
re&e&ber that< D0y little baby doe* not /reedo& in it*el/) $t i* totally
inno,ent *o $ have to be very ,are/ul in taking good ,are o/ it) $ &u*t give
it the good thing* both 2hy*i,ally and &entally a* &u,h a* 2o**ible) The
/uture o/ &y baby i* in &y hand*)E
$/ +e talk about the environ&ent o/ the ,hildren< the 2arent* are the
,lo*e*t environ&ent* /or the&) They are highly in/luential +ith re*2e,t
?8
to &aking the ,hildren into anything good or bad) $n Buddhi*&< there
i* a *aying that< DParent* are the /ir*t tea,her* o/ the ,hildren)E They are
the one* +ho tran*&it *o &u,h to their ,hildren) There i* al*o an old *ay
ing< DLook at the tail o/ an ele2hant but look at the &other o/ a +o&an)E
Thi* analogy ,annot be denied by anybody at all)
Nor&ally< ,hildren have not 2o**e**ed anything that ,an be ,alled
0aya< de,eit*< untruth/ulne**< /ear< or 1ealou*y a* &o*t gro+nu2* do)
They only 2o**e** *in,erity) !o their a,tion i* not ,o&2leF) $t i* ea*ily
readable) But i/ there i* any abnor&ality in the &ind o/ the ,hildren< *u,h
a*< anger< 1ealou*y< or /ear o/ any kind< it +a* borne out o/ having inherited
it /ro& the 2arent*< or the nanny< +ho are the environ&ent +hi,h i*
in ,lo*e 2roFi&ity +ith the ,hildren) $t i* an unintentional tran*&ittal)
Ho+ever< it +a* re,eived and buried until the end o/ their live*) $/ it ha*
not been ,orre,ted Hui,kly< the ,hildren +ill adhere to *u,h bad habit)
There/ore< the 2arent* are the 2rin,i2al* in 2rodu,ing the good and the
bad o/ their ,hildren)
To train a &ind o/ the ,hildren i* not an ea*y ta*k) To &ake a baby
i* not hard) To re,ite the +ord* o/ a /a&ou* *er&on giver< DTo &ake a
2er*on i* not hard at all< it only take* a &o&ent) But to &ake *o&e
one a hu&an being i* di//i,ult) $t take* ti&e to obtain a good e//e,t)E
Hu&an being i* *o&e one +ho ha* high *2iritual value< +hi,h i* above
all evil) To train the ,hildren i* to in*till habit* in the& to &ake the&
good a,,ording to our *tandard) $t i* hard +ork) $t i* a duty< +hi,h
&u*t be 2er/or&ed by the 2arent*) They *hould never be bored o/ thi*
ta*k) They &u*t be *ati*/ied and ,ontent and they &u*t do it ,ontinually
and in the right +ay +ith good rea*on* to *u22ort the& all the
ti&e)
$t i* di//i,ult to *et a de/inite guideline /or training the ,hildren to
be in a,,ordan,e +ith the +i*h o/ the 2arent* or *o&e one +ho bring*
the& u2< and to *ay thi* and that &u*t be done) "nly the &ain 2rin,i2le*
regarding the ,hild 2*y,hologi,al need* ,an be *tated a* a general guideline)
The re*t i* u2 to the +i*do& o/ the 2arent* and ho+ +ell they have
looked a/ter the ,hildren) Try to under*tand the natural in,lination o/
the ,hildren and /ind a +ay to ,orre,t the& that +ill be *uitable to the
?4
*ituation o/ ea,h ,hild) You &ay 1u*t /ind a +ay to train your ,hildren to
be,o&e good 2er*on*)
*ituation o/ ea,h ,hild) You &ay 1u*t /ind a +ay to train your ,hildren to
be,o&e good 2er*on*)
*ibility
be,au*e the e//e,t in the /uture +ill be on your ,hildren and your*el/
in total< $/ the ,hildren a,,o&2li*h good thing*< they +ill *ay the 2arent*
have given the& good training) $/ the ,hildren turn out badly< they
+ill *ay their 2arent* are not goodG that i* +hy their ,hildren are like that<
DonCt &ake anybody &ake you /eel terrible later on be,au*e they ,ur*e
you /or being un+i*e in bringing u2 your ,hildren)
6:
Child $n*tin,t*
Child $n*tin,t*
"
"
N THE "THER DAY< +e talked about +hat the ,hildren tended to
do or to be) The ,ontent* o/ that talk indi,ated to you that ,hildren
+ere inno,ent) They ,ould al+ay* a,,e2t anything /ro& the adult*
or the environ&ent*) $t +a* ne,e**ary /or you +ho +orked +ith ,hildren
to be a little bit ,are/ul and never to do anything< +hi,h +ould allo+ the
,hildren to *ee or to a,,e2t the& in a negative +ay) Today +e are going
to talk &ore about the natural tenden,ie* o/ the ,hildren)
Buddhi*& tea,he* u* to under*tand that hu&an being ,on*i*t* o/
t+o i&2ortant ele&ent*< i)e) Ru2a and Na&a or body and &ind) The
t+o thing* ,o&bine to &ake a living 2er*on by having a &other and a
/ather a* the ,reator*) $n e//e,t< the 2arent* are god*< +ho ,reate ,hildren)
A body i* a &iFture o/ variou* kind* o/ &aterial) And it +ill /un,tion
nor&ally only +hen ,ertain other &aterial al*o ,o&e* into 2lay)
That i* +e need /ood /or the +ell being o/ the body) A* /or the ,hildren<
/ood i* needed /or the gro+th o/ their bodie* and it i* the 1ob o/ rearing
the& 2er/or&ed by the 2arent*< even though it i* not done totally ,orre,tly
but it i* good enough to &ake the ,hildren gro+ u2 2retty +ell)
"n the ,ontrary< the rearing o/ the &ind o/ the ,hildren leave* &u,h to
be de*ired and ha* *o &u,h /la+*) A hu&an being ,annot live +ith it*
body alone) $t &u*t al*o have a &ind) The &ind and the body &u*t
live together at all ti&e*) The /ood &u*t al*o be /or both the body and
the &ind) The /ood o/ the &ind i* the training and the tea,hing o/ the
,hildren to have a good &ind< a beauti/ul &ind< in a,,ordan,e +ith the
Dha&&a 2rin,i2le*) $n reality< +e &u*t al+ay* 2ay *2e,ial attention to
the &atter o/ the &ind be,au*e all thing* ,o&e /ro& the &ind) The bodily
&ove&ent* and &anneri*&< +hi,h ,an be ob*erved by other 2eo2le<
re/le,t the &ind in*ide the body) The +ord*< +hi,h +ere *2oken to other
2eo2le< indi,ate the *tate o/ that &ind) The body i* at all ti&e* the /oundation
o/ the &ind a* +ell a* the one< +hi,h eF2re**e* it* /eeling*) The
,are< the training< and the develo2&ent o/ a hu&an being are going to
6)
*u,,eed or not have a lot to do +ith the develo2&ent o/ the &ind)
*u,,eed or not have a lot to do +ith the develo2&ent o/ the &ind)
*i*t
o/ tho*e /ro& birth and tho*e a,Huired a/ter+ard* by the &edia o/
an environ&ent and the indu,e&ent o/ the 2er*on* ,lo*e to it) The ,hildren
tend to a,t like +hoever or +hatever they are ,lo*e to) $t i* there/ore
ne,e**ary to a ,ertain degree to *tudy about the a,tion o/ the &ind to be
u*ed a* a guideline to under*tand the ,hildren) The /ir*t thing* to *tudy
are the in*tin,t< the e&otion< the habit and the ,hara,ter) They +ill be
eF2lained a* /ollo+*'
))
$n*tin,t' >!an1atanana@ $n Thai< the +ord +a* not a ,o&&only
u*ed one)
$t +a* a ter&inology e&2loyed &o*tly in regard to 2*y,hologi,alC to2i,*)
Li*ten ,are/ully) !an1ata &ean* to be born *i&ultaneou*ly) Nana &ean*
to kno+) When ,o&bined< the &eaning i* to kno+ *i&ultaneou*ly at
birth a* the &ind +a* born) There are ,ertain thing*<< +hi,h ,an be done
+ithout being taught) They ,o&e together +ithG ea,h and everyone o/
u* and they ,annot be totally eli&inated /ro& u*) Ho+ever they ,an be
,ontrolled *o a* not to eFhibit the& *o &u,h) Hu&an being< +ho la,k*
the training o/ the &ind< o/ten la,k*' the ,ontrol o/ hi* or her in*tin,t*)
He or *he be,o&e* vulgar in hi* orb her behaviour in the *o,iety< o/ten
doe* thing* like +ild ani&al) "n the ,ontrary< the 2eo2le< +ho have good
training and edu,ation< +ill be a*ha&ed to relea*e their ba*i, in*tin,t*
or tenden,ie*) Tho*e are the gentle&en and ladie* o/ the +orld +ho are
+ell liked in our *o,iety) ;or thi* rea*on< anybody +ho +ant* to be a ,iviliBed
2er*on< need* learn to ,ontrol hi* or her ba*i, in*tin,t*) Never let
the& ,o&e out too &u,h /or your o+n good) !o&e o/ the ne+er in*tin,t*<
+hi,h +e *hould al*o kno+ about< are a* /ollo+*'
a)
!urvival $n*tin,t' All living being need* /ood to *tay alive) The
need /or /ood +a* there/ore born *in,e birth) #itten and 2u22ie*
a/ter birth +ill try to /eel /or a ni22le o/ the &other and *u,k on it
right a+ay) But a hu&an baby out o/ a &other doe* not eat right
a+ay) $t* body &u*t be ,leaned and then the &other ha* to be
6=
,leaned a* +ell' Then it ,an *u,k on the &otherC* &ilk< a* it like*
to do) ;ood &u*t be had to the end< until breathing *to2*) Be,au*e
+e have to eat< +e need to have all kind* o/ /ood) Thi* i* an in*tin,t
o/ all *entient being)
,leaned a* +ell' Then it ,an *u,k on the &otherC* &ilk< a* it like*
to do) ;ood &u*t be had to the end< until breathing *to2*) Be,au*e
+e have to eat< +e need to have all kind* o/ /ood) Thi* i* an in*tin,t
o/ all *entient being)
)
Re2rodu,tive $n*tin,t' When there i* birth< there &u*t be re2rodu,tion
o/ live*) "ur body and &ind +ill al*o *urvive /ro& re2rodu,tion)
$/ there +a* no re2rodu,tion< the li/e +ill eventually ,ea*e
to eFi*t) Thi* kind o/ in*tin,t give* ri*e to lu*t< a *eFual urge) $/
it i* not ,ontained or ,ontrolled< hu&an value +ill be even lo+er
than ,o&&on ani&al*< *u,h a* dog*) A* a &atter o/ /a,t< dog*
and other ani&al* +ill /ul/il thi* in*tin,tive need only o,,a*ionally
or *ea*onally) A/ter that 2eriod i* over they +ill no longer /eel
*u,h de*ire) But doe* hu&an being have any *ea*onJ Do they ever
/eel they have had enoughJ Think about it) !o&eti&e* +e *hould
be a*ha&ed that +e are +or*e than dog* be,au*e there are *o&e
2eo2le +ho la,k the ,ontrol over thi* in*tin,t)
,)
!el/%2re*ervative $n*tin,t' All *entient being* love li/e) They /ear
o22re**ion) $n a ver*e o/ the Dha&&a< the Buddha on,e *aid< DAll
*entient being* are a/raid o/ 2uni*h&entG they are a/raid o/ deathG
ob*erve your*el/ /or ,o&2ari*on and har& no one)E Be,au*e o/ the
/ear /or *i,kne** and /or death< the /eeling to 2re*erve oneC* *el/
ari*e*) Then a de,i*ion to /ight or to run +ill /ollo+) !o&e babie*
are /rightened ea*ily) Having *een anything /rightening or heard
anything loud< they +ill be *,ared to death) The nannie* and baby%
*itter* o/ the +orld &u*t be a+are o/ thi* /a,t) They *hould take
,are not to allo+ the babie* to have /ear in their heart needle**ly)
d)
!el/%i&2ortan,e $n*tin,t' Thi* i* the rea*on /or hu&an being to
be *el/i*h thinking al+ay* that oneC* *el/ i* &ore i&2ortant and
*u2erior to the other*) $t i* a rea*on /or being 2roud and that he
or *he i* an i&2ortant 2er*on) $t al*o give* ri*e to *o&e 2eo2le
looking do+n u2on tho*e +ho are the le** /ortunate in all re*2e,t)
Peo2le like thi* +hen they go any+here they +ill al+ay* 2ut the&*elve*
at the /ore/ront) $n the language o/ the Dha&&a it i* ,la**i6?
/ied a* being ,on*,iou* o/ the /a,t that he or *he i* better< or eHual<
/ied a* being ,on*,iou* o/ the /a,t that he or *he i* better< or eHual<
*u//ering)
e)
!o,ial $n*tin,t' Hu&an being i* a *o,ial ani&al< +ho live*G in a
to+n< i)e) they *tay in a grou2< in a 2arty) They donCt like to be le/t
alone) $n general< hu&an being* tend toS gather together) $/ +e go
to vi*it variou* 2la,e* o/ a,tivitie*< +e +ill *ee that the 2eo2le +ill
gather around in grou2*) When there are &ore than one 2er*on
in a< grou2< then &ore and &ore 2eo2le +ill /ollo+ the& to /or&
a bigger grou2) .rou2ing like thi* relie* on *i&ilarityG *u,h a* the
*a&e language< the *a&e ,lothing< and the *i&ilar living *tandard)
Then they ,an *tay together) ;orC thi* rea*on< the 2eo2le o/ the
+orld have *everal nation* and *everal language*) Tho*e +ho are
le/t alone +ill not be ha22y) The ,hildren< +ho are by the&*elve*<
/eel lonely and *luggi*h) They are not a,tive both 2hy*i,ally and'
&entally) $/ they have a 2lay&ate< then they +ill *uddenlyC be,o&e
1oy/ul) You +ill ob*erve that +hen the 2arent*< return ho&e /ro&
+ork< a* *oon a* they are in*ide the hou*e< the ,hildren +ill i&&ediately
1u&2 into their ar&*) Thi* i* ea*ily *een a* a *ign o/ having
a *o,ial in*tin,t)
/)
A,,u&ulative $n*tin,t' Be/ore the *tart o/ a rainy *ea*on< +e have
*een a great nu&ber o/ ant* 2ut a+ay edible /ood< in their ne*t*)
An ar&y o/ bee* /le+ /ro& /lo+er to /lo+er ,olle,ting 2ollen to
&ake *+eet honey /or the young one* 1u*t born) A bla,k ,ro+ /inding
a 2ie,e o/ /ood +ill hide it /ir*t and to eat it later on) All tho*e
a,tion* are &ethod* u*ed a* a re*ult o/ the a,,u&ulative in*tin,t)
A,,u&ulation e*2e,ially in hu&an being i* a huge 1ob) We a,,u&ulate
all *ort* o/ thing*) Thi* in*tin,t i/ not +ell ,ontrolled or
,ontained< +ill &ake u* greedy) We tend to take advantage o/ one
another to a ,ertain degree) Little ,hildren +ill *tart by ,olle,ting
little *o&ething*) They kee2 tho*e thing* and o/ten *ay< DDo not
tou,h +hatever i* &ine)E !o&e 2eo2le are +or*e than the other* to
an eFtent that they take advantage o/ their /riend* and /oe* alike
66
by all kind* o/ tri,k* and de,e2tion*) $t be,o&e* a &ean* to a,,u&ulate
inheritan,e /or their o//*2ring by +ay o/ ,orru2tion a* +e
*ee in thi* day and age)
We have not talked about all tho*e in*tin,t* in great detail*) $t i* only a
guideline /or the under*tanding o/ the hu&an &ind) Then +e ,an train
the &ind to behave in the right +ay) We donCt +ant to leave it alone until
the &ind o/ a 2er*on be,o&e bad and *u//er the ,on*eHuen,e later on) An
enor&ou* har& re*ulting /ro& a &i*under*tanding< +hi,h ha* not been
,orre,ted< ha* *2read +idely all over our nation and *o,iety) $ beg you the
2arent*< to be ,on*,iou* o/ thi* /a,t)
=)
E&otion' We hear o/ thi* +ord o/ten) ;or in*tan,e< +e *ay that
guy i* e&otionally *tableG &eaning< he i* ,ool heartedG that +o&an
i* very e&otionalG it &ean* *he i* hot headed< argu&entative< and
al+ay* ,o&2laining) E&otion &ean* the /eeling*< +hi,h o,,ur in
the &ind) When the &ind i* a+are o/ anything through the /ive
*en*e*< *o&ething ha22en* in the &ind) That *o&ething i* ,alled
an e&otion) The e&otion al+ay* ha* an in*tin,t a* a ,au*e) ;or
eFa&2le< +e *ee an i&age o/ an o22o*ite *eF< +e /eel a 2lea*ure to
a22roa,h and a*k her +ho *he i* and +here *he ,a&e /ro&) Thi* i*
due to the re2rodu,tive in*tin,t) $t tran*late* into lu*t< a de*ire to
have that 2er*on) E&otion i* *o&ething that ,an be 2revented /ro&
o,,urring) $t ,an al*o be de*troyed by the 2ra,ti,e o/ &editation)
?)
Habit' $t i* *o&ething that i* a re*ult o/ doing over and over like a
+ell% trained athlete) ;or eFa&2le< a 2er*on i* diligent be,au*e he
or *he i* trained in that +ayG a 2er*on i* laBy be,au*e he i* u*ed to
being laBy) !o&e habit* are tran*/erred /ro& the 2arent*G or /ro&
tho*e +ho are ,lo*e< to the ,hildren be,au*e ,hildren are in,lined
to a,,e2t anything ea*ily) To in*till a habit in the ,hildren ,an *i&2ly
be done by eFa&2le* /ro& adult*) $/ a /ather i* diligent) He get*
u2 early to go to +ork on a /ar& every &orning< hi* *on +ill al*o
get u2 early to +ork on a /ar& 1u*t like hi* /ather) Habit* are al*o
,ontagiou*) What are your habit*J .ood and bad< you &u*t be
a+are that they +ill *ti,k to your ,hildren a* +ell)
69
6)
0anner and ,hara,ter are 2hy*i,al a* +ell a* verbal &anneri*&<
+hi,h ,an be readily *een or heard) 0anner* are al+ay* indi,ative
o/ the habit o/ that 2er*on) ;or eFa&2le< tho*e +ho have a rude
habit +ill u*e i&2olite +ord*) Their 2hy*i,al &anneri*& i* al*o
vulgar and not at all likable) Whether they *tand< +alk< *it< or lie
do+n< it *ho+* no *ign* o/ +hole*o&ene**) "n the other hand< i/
they have good habit*< the &anner +ill al*o be +hole*o&e)
$n bringing u2 your ,hildren< it i* advi*able to ob*erve tho*e *y&2to&*
and try to ,orre,t the& one by one) Au*t re&e&ber that< DThe in*tin,t J
i* the ba*i* o/ e&otionG e&otion i* the ba*i* o/ habit and habit i* a ba*i*
o/ &anner and ,hara,ter +hi,h +ill be 2er,eived by the other*)E The
&anneri*& ob*erved by other 2eo2le i* the 2er*onality o/ that 2er*on)
Whoever +ill be good or bad i* the re*ult o/ the a/ore&entioned ,au*e*)
And the &o*t i&2ortant o/ the& all are the &other and the /ather) !o
you< the 2arent*< &u*t be 2arti,ularly ,are/ul in ,reating any habit* in
your ,hildren)
The above have been *tated to give you a guideline and to kno+
*o&ething about hu&an being* *o that you +ill be able to under*tand
any kind* o/ behaviour* in your ,hildren) $/ you ha22en to *ee that any
eF2re**ion* o/ your ,hildren &ay be,o&e a ba*i* /or de*tru,tive behaviour*
and +ill ,reate a bad habit in the&< you &u*t /ind a +ay to 2revent
the& /ro& behaving that +ay) Nor&ally< hu&an being in general
+ill have to eF2re** oneC* *el/) $t i* di//i,ult to ,on,eal anything in*ide)
To kee2 it in*ide too &u,h &ay ,au*e an e&otion to overload) Then it
be,o&e* a habit) Eventually< that 2er*on +ill be e&otionally *2oiled) !o
it i* not advi*able to 1u*t ,ontrol and e&otion) We &u*t /ind a +ay to
,o&2en*ate or to relea*e it in one +ay or another but to do it 2ro2erly
and in the right +ay)
Thi* i* *o&e+hat like the +ater /ro& a high 2la,e) $/ only a da& +a*
build to ,ounter the /or,e< the +ater &ay be *o *trong a* to ,au*e the da&
or the bank to tu&ble do+n) But i/ +e not only blo,k the +ater 2ath but
al*o &ade *everal drainage /or the +ater to /lo+ through then the +ater
+ill be &ore u*e/ul to u*) The bank +ill not ,ru&ble< and the da& +ill
6I
not be da&aged) $t i* analogou* to the thing* about ,hildren) The 2arent*<
+ho have +i*do&< +ill /ind a ,o&2en*ation /or the ,hildren) Do
not let the& do it on their o+n) They are not +i*e enough to kno+ +hat
i* right and +hat i* +rong) The adult* *hould really a,t a* their eye* and
ear*) There &u*t be a +ay out /or the& not to eF2re** the&*elve* in a
bad +ay) $ +ould like to a*k you to think about thi* a* your ho&e+ork
on !unday) U*e thi* le**on to ob*erve the 2hy*i,al and verbal &anneri*&
o/ your ,hildren at all ti&e*) Your ,hildren +ill be good or badG it i*
entirely u2 to you)
65
DonCt U*e E&otion* +ith Children
DonCt U*e E&otion* +ith Children
"
"
NE DAY +hile $ +a* +alking along a road< $ ha22ened to *ee *o&ething<
+hi,h $ never thought $ +ould *ee) $t re&ained a 2i,ture
i&2rinted in &y &ind /or a long ti&e) $t &ade &e think hard about that
in,ident on that day) $t al*o &ade &e think o/ a lot o/ other thing*) Why
donCt you try /iguring out +hat it +a*J You +ould note be able to be,au*e
you did not *ee it ha22en) A* a &atter o/ /a,t< thi* *ort o/ thing ha22en*
all the ti&e but you have not 2aid any attention to the&) $ +ill tell you
the *tory) $t i* a *,ene that take* 2la,e all over)
The *,ene o2ened at a *&all hou*e) $t +a* a little hou*e< +hi,h indi,ated
that the o+ner +a* not +ell o//) There +a* nothing &u,h in*ide the
hou*e< +hi,h &ight be ,alled the /urniture) The /ather &ight be *till out
+orking and only the &other +a* in) !he +a* about *even &onth* 2regnant)
There +a* a little boy not Huite t+o year* old) He +a* being threatened
by the &other) The little boy +a* ,rying in agony being beaten by
hi* &other +ith a ,ane all over hi* little body) !he 1u*t ke2t on 2ounding<
a* her heart de*ired) The little boy ,ould only +rithe in 2ain and
,ried to it* heart ,ontent) $t *ee&ed the &other +a* hard o/ hearing or
had be,o&e totally dea/ be,au*e *he +a* over+hel&ed +ith anger and
,ould not hear the noi*e o/ hi* ,rying) !he ,ontinued to beat hi& until
*he be,a&e eFhau*ted and the little boy lay *till in *o &u,h 2ain that
he ,ould no longer ,ry out eF,e2t a little +hi&2er) The &other +a* *till
,o&2laining< D$ told you to *to2) Why donCt you *to2J What kind o/ a
*on are youJ You donCt li*ten to &e) $ *hould beat you to death)E While
*he +a* talking *he &ade her /a,e +hi,h +a* hard to dra+ to &ake it
look like a hu&an /a,e) What did the little boy do that +a* *o +rong to
de*erve that *evere 2uni*h&entJ The an*+er +a* he +a* naughty and
broke a ri,e 2late) They did not have &u,h to begin +ith *o the &other
+a* &ad +hen the little boy broke one 2late and *o he +a* beaten &er,ile**ly)
$t +a* 2iti/ul to think about the in,ident) Wa* the boy really at
/aultJ
68
All o/ you 2lea*e think about thi* /or a &o&ent) Did the little boy
break the 2late be,au*e he had no love /or the 2late or he +a* 2laying +ith
it and broke it by thro+ing the 2late like a /lying *au,erJ Nothing like
that at all) The little boy +a* /ini*hing hi* &eal) He ,arried hi* 2late to
+a*h it +ith +ater) He +anted to do like gro+nu2* did be,au*e he had
*een the& /ini*hing their &eal and +a*hing the di*he*) He +anted to
do it a* +ell but hi* hand* +ere not *trong enough to the 2late /ell do+n
and broke) He did not break it on 2ur2o*e) Hi* &other la,ked an in*ight
about the habit o/ her ,hild) !he had no re*traint) !he be,a&e e&otional
and angry) !he beat her *onC* little body +ithout thinking t+i,e)
All o/ you 2lea*e think about thi* /or a &o&ent) Did the little boy
break the 2late be,au*e he had no love /or the 2late or he +a* 2laying +ith
it and broke it by thro+ing the 2late like a /lying *au,erJ Nothing like
that at all) The little boy +a* /ini*hing hi* &eal) He ,arried hi* 2late to
+a*h it +ith +ater) He +anted to do like gro+nu2* did be,au*e he had
*een the& /ini*hing their &eal and +a*hing the di*he*) He +anted to
do it a* +ell but hi* hand* +ere not *trong enough to the 2late /ell do+n
and broke) He did not break it on 2ur2o*e) Hi* &other la,ked an in*ight
about the habit o/ her ,hild) !he had no re*traint) !he be,a&e e&otional
and angry) !he beat her *onC* little body +ithout thinking t+i,e)
eral
/a,tor*) ;or eFa&2le< the i&2overi*h&ent o/ her /a&ilyG the hu*band<
+ho did not *tay ho&e a lotG +ho did not +ork to earn enough
&oney /or the +i/e and the ,hild< +ho*e &eagre in,o&e +a* *2ent buying
+hi*key or govern&ent lotterie*< /ro& +hi,h he never +on even a *atang)
All the*e added to the 2roble& in the /a&ily) The +o&an o/ the hou*e
+a* /eeling in*e,ure) $t +a* obviou* that +hen *o&e one like that< +ho
+a* /eeling badly in*ide< a little thing ha22ened to her and *he be,a&e
enraged in her o+n /ire *tor&) The bad ,on*eHuen,e /ell on the inno,ent
little boy) He &ight have been *in/ul in hi* 2reviou* live*) That +a* 2robably
+hy he ,a&e to the +o&b o/ *u,h +o&an) He &u*t have 2o**e**ed
a bad kar&a< +hi,h gave hi& the 2arent* +ho did not 2ay attention to
their /a&ily like that) Everyone &u*t /a,e the e//e,t o/ kar&a) Having
thought o/ the Dha&&a< $ +a* able to ,o&e to the realiBation 1u*t a little)
But it +a* u*e/ul only to the 2er*on +ho realiBed but not to the little boy
+ho had to *u//er the ,on*eHuen,e) A lot o/ day* +ere *till ahead /or hi&<
though) At any rate< $ +ould like to talk to you a little about the 2uni*h&ent
given to your ,hildren)
$ +ant to tell you *o&ething about &y*el/) When $ +a* *till a young
boy< $ did not like being *,old and *2anked) $ &u,h 2re/erred 2olitene**
and kindne**) $ +ould not be able to eat on the day $ +a* *,olded) 0y
&other kne+ about thi* /a,t *o *he never *,olded &e aggre**ively) $/ *he
+ere angry *he +ould only u*e her bare hand to 2at on &y hi2* t+i,e or
three ti&e*) 0y /ather never *2anked &e at all) Whatever $ did +rong<
64
he +ould tea,h &e at night) "r *o&eti&e* he +ould 1u*t *ay the +ord*
indire,tly to &e that to do *u,h and *u,h +a* +rong) !o $ +a* a ha22y
boy in the ar&* o/ &y /ather and &other) But one o/ &y *i*ter* al+ay*
*,olded &e) Every ti&e *he did that *he +ould be told by our &other to
*to2 *,olding &e and to talk to &e ni,ely)
he +ould tea,h &e at night) "r *o&eti&e* he +ould 1u*t *ay the +ord*
indire,tly to &e that to do *u,h and *u,h +a* +rong) !o $ +a* a ha22y
boy in the ar&* o/ &y /ather and &other) But one o/ &y *i*ter* al+ay*
*,olded &e) Every ti&e *he did that *he +ould be told by our &other to
*to2 *,olding &e and to talk to &e ni,ely)
You &ay be thinking +hy $ a& telling you &y 2er*onal *tory) $ 1u*t
+anted to *ho+ you the danger o/ being too *tri,t in the 2uni*h&ent)
Nor&ally< all o/ u* have an in*tin,t o/ /ear in our &ind) $/ +e u*e /ear a*
a te,hniHue< the 2ra,ti,e +ill be too /or,e/ul /or the ,hildren) The ,hildren
+ill *u//er &entally) They +ill not +ant to do anything) They +ill
not +ant to be at ho&e) The +ill ,on*ider the /ather< the &other< the
guardian< all ene&ie*) They +ill try to *tay a+ay and +ill be too /ar a+ay
that &any o/ the& +ill be *2oiled) The ,hildren in /ront o/ the &ovie
theatre*< &any o/ the& ,a&e /ro& the /a&ilie* +here the /ather and the
9:
&other u*ed the threatening &ethod*) $/ +e look at the hi*tory o/ tho*e
+ho +ere hate/ul and vi,iou*< you +ill /ind that they +ere &o*tly /ro&
the /ather and &other +ho +ere al*o hate/ul and vi,iou*) !o +e need to
be a little ,are/ul about 2uni*hing the ,hildren) !o&e 2arent* *eeing the
,hildren &ake &i*take +ill lo*e all *el/%,ontrol) They ,ould 1u*t hit +ithout
,hoo*ing a *2ot< 1u*t any 2la,e on the body) !o&eti&e*< the ,hildren
+ould lo*e a *en*e o/ hearing or an eye due to thi* kind o/ 2uni*h&ent)
Plea*e kee2 thi* thought in &ind that the ,hildren are inno,ent) They
do not kno+ +hat i* right and +hat i* +rong /or *ure) They +ill al+ay*
/ollo+ and eFa&2le o/ adult*) The adult* are the one* +ho *hould be
*2anked &ore than the ,hildren be,au*e they 2layed their role badly and
yet they allo+ed the ,hildren to *ee the& +ithout realiBing that they had
done +rong) They 2uni*hed the ,hildren out o/ anger) The a,tion o/ the
adult* leave* &u,h to be de*ired) Re&e&ber that never 2uni*h the ,hildren
+hile you are angry) Be,au*e to 2uni*h the ,hildren at *u,h ti&e i*
+hen the 2arent* la,k rea*onablene**< a* a ,on*eHuen,e the 2enalty +ill
u*ually be &u,h too *evere /or that kind o/ &i*take)
$ read a ne+*2a2er the other day and *a+ a *tory about a +o&an<
+ho tortured ,hildren in variou* +ay* and all +ere ,ruel) Wo&en like
that are ,alled de&on* and not ordinary +o&en) !o&e o/ the& +hen
angry +ill *ay thing* like< D$ +ant to eat your &eat)E The*e are not the
+ord* o/ a hu&an) They are tho*e o/ a devil< +ho ,a&e to have ,ontrol
over your &ind) Plea*e do not let the devil 2uni*h your ,hildren) Try to
drive a+ay the devil out o/ your &ind /ir*t) Why do +e 2uni*h ,hildrenJ
Thi* i* a Hue*tion that need* to be an*+ered /ir*t) The an*+er i* /or the
,hildren to be re/or&ed by the 2uni*h&ent and not to re2eat that &i*take)
The goal i* to &ake the& realiBe that they have done +rong *o the
+ill not ,o&&it that &i*take again) $ think $ have &ade it ,lear to you)
No+ ,on*ider thi*) Are there no other +ay* to let your little one*
kno+ that doing *u,h and *u,h i* a &i*takeJ There are *everal +ay* to
do it +ithout u*ing the ,ane) ;ir*t o/ all< +e *hould di*,over the ,au*ation)
Why do ,hildren like to do *u,h a thingJ Why do ,hildren behave
in *u,h a +ay a* to be ,alled by adult* a* being naughtyJ And have their
naughtine** ,au*ed any da&ageJ Plea*e learn to try to /ind the rea*on*
9)
/or it) $n regard to the ,hildren having done *o&ething +rong< +e *hould
think /ir*t +hy did they do *u,h a thing) They &u*t have learned by an
eFa&2le /ro& *o&e one) $/ +e /ound out +hat +a* the bad eFa&2le< +e
&u*t ,ut it out ,o&2letely) !u22o*e the nanny +a* the eFa&2le) Do
not allo+ her to do *u,h a thing in /ront o/ the ,hildren again) Thi* i*
a &ethod u*ed by di*tan,ing the bad eFa&2le a+ay /ro& the ,hildren)
Then +e *hould talk to the ,hildren ni,ely) .iving the& an o22ortunity
to kno+ that doing *u,h a thing +a* bad and they be,o&e bad 2er*on*)
You donCt like the& to do that again) Do you +ant u* to love youJ $/ you
+ant our love< 2lea*e do not do *u,h a thing again) Thi* i* a +arning /or
the& not to &ake the *a&e &i*take again) Under*tand al*o that anyone
+ho did *o&ething +rong needed a te&2tation to enti,e the& to do it)
They +ould not do it +ithout any te&2tation) Try to look /or *u,h te&2tation
and eli&inate it /ro& the ,hildren) Then they +ill not &ake that
kind o/ &i*take again) The adult* donCt have to 2uni*h the ,hildren and
&ake the& /eel di*,ouraged) And the ,hildren do not have to get hurt
be,au*e o/ that &i*take either)
$t i* a /a,t that the gro+n%u2* are irritated by the naughtine** o/
the ,hildren) They al+ay* ,o&2lain< DThi* little boy i* very naughty) He
&ake* &y head *+i& everyday)E We o/ten heard the grand &other* on
both *ide* ,o&2laining about that) When another ,hild i* Huiet like a
doll< then the grand &other i* ha22y) $n /a,t< ,hildren by nature +ill
not *tay 2ut) $/ they do< they are not ,hildren) $n general< the ,hildren
are gro+ing u2 both 2hy*i,ally and &entally) $/ they *to2 &oving about<
the organ* in their body +ill not develo2) Naughtine** i* there/ore an
attribute in ,hildren) But the nanny and the 2arent* 2ay too &u,h attention
to the&) They try to hel2 the& too &u,h that the ,hildren donCt
have to do anything by the&*elve*) That i* not the right +ay) The duty
o/ a nanny i* only to look a/ter the ,hildren and to &ake *ure that they
+ill not be in har&C* +ay) We &u*t give the& *o&e /reedo&) Then +e
+ill not have to ,o&2lain that the ,hildren are naughty) But there &u*t
be *o&e di*,i2line< o/ ,our*e) There &u*t be *o&e ,o&2en*ation a* +ell)
Children *tarting to +alk +ill naturally like to +alk)
Look at tho*e +ho 1u*t learn to ride a bi,y,le) They +ould +ant to
9=
ride on any bi,y,le they ,ould get their hand* on) They do it to gain
&ore eF2erien,e and to be &ore *kil/ul) The ,hildren 1u*t *tarting to
+alk +ould naturally +ant to +alk all the ti&e) Try to 2rovide a 2la,e
/or the& to +alk in ,o&/ort and *a/ety *o that nothing ,an har& the&)
They +ould not behave naughtily and +alk out o/ the +ay) The trouble
i* +e do not have a *2e,ial roo& /or the ,hildren) The adult* *it and lie
do+n *o&e 2la,e and the ,hildren are there a* +ell) $/ there +ere a lot o/
*tu// in that roo&< the little one +ould +ant to look and *ee +hat they
are) They *ee a ,lo,k ti,king and they +onder) They +ant to o2en and
*ee +hat i* in*ide that i* &aking the ti,king *ound) Ho+ ,an +e *ay that
they are naughty /or doing thatJ They are doing +hat ,o&e naturally) We
adult* are +rong to allo+ the ,hildren to be in a roo& /ull o/ the thing*
they donCt kno+ about and they donCt under*tand)
$ have *een Cau,a*ian ,hildren +ho*e 2arent* +ent out to +ork) They
allo+ed the little one to be +ith *o&e toy* only) He ke2t hi&*el/ bu*y in
that roo& +ithout going any+here) At bath ti&e and &eal ti&e< an adult
,a&e to /eed and bathe hi&) Then he +a* returned to that roo& again)
He *tayed there +ithout ,reating any *,ene and never bothered hi* 2arent*)
"n the other hand< our ,hildren are al+ay* ,arried bodily all the
ti&e) They are al+ay* given /ull attention) A* a &atter o/ /a,t< to do that
i* Huite a big &i*take) But +e do it a* a habit and *ee nothing +rong +ith
it) ;or thi* rea*on< $ +ould like to *ugge*t that do not nurture the ,hildren
too &u,h) .ive the& *o&e /reedo&) Let the& alone in their roo&
/or *o&e ti&e) The ,hildren +ill learn to de2end on the&*elve* *te2 by
*te2) $/ your ,hildren love to be a,tive +hile you ,all it being naughty< you
,an ,orre,t that by allo+ing the& to take 2art in *2ort*) $/ they have *o&e
toy* or *o&e eFer,i*e eHui2&ent< hi* &ind +ill behave 2ro2erly a* +ell)
The 2arent* *hould not +orry about ,hildren being naughty be,au*e
naughty ,hildren have a,tive brain) But they *hould be ,on,erned about
the *ilent one*< +ho +ill be,o&e *luggi*h in the /uture) Plea*e do not
2uni*h the ,hildren +ho are kno+n to be naughty) Try to turn naughty
,hildren to be a,tive in a 2o*itive +ay) Thi* ,an be done +ithout &u,h
di//i,ulty)
;or thi* le**on< 2lea*e re&e&ber that it i* not right to 2uni*h the
9?
,hildren +hen you are ,on*u&ed +ith anger and hatred) All ,hildren do
not +ant to &ake &i*take) They did it be,au*e o/ ignoran,e) Tell the&
/ir*t +hat they did that +a* +rong) Then they +ill never do that again)
Nor&ally< the ,hildren +ant to be loved by the 2arent*) $/ they kno+
that doing *u,h and *u,h +ill ,au*e the adult* not to love the&< they +ill
*urely *to2 by the&*elve*) Love S and kindne** a&ong all o/ u* are the
right 2ath to /ollo+ /or an everla*ting virtue)
,hildren +hen you are ,on*u&ed +ith anger and hatred) All ,hildren do
not +ant to &ake &i*take) They did it be,au*e o/ ignoran,e) Tell the&
/ir*t +hat they did that +a* +rong) Then they +ill never do that again)
Nor&ally< the ,hildren +ant to be loved by the 2arent*) $/ they kno+
that doing *u,h and *u,h +ill ,au*e the adult* not to love the&< they +ill
*urely *to2 by the&*elve*) Love S and kindne** a&ong all o/ u* are the
right 2ath to /ollo+ /or an everla*ting virtue)
6
Train Children to Eat "nly at 0eal Ti&e*
Train Children to Eat "nly at 0eal Ti&e*
T
T
HE T"P$C $ a& going to talk about today &ay hurt your /eeling* 1u*t a
little bit) $ &u*t a2ologiBe to all o/ you /ro& the beginning) Be,au*e $
have love and good +i*he* /or all o/ you that i* +hy $ ,a&e here to talk to
you) $ +anted to lead you to take the right 2ath and to ,orre,t any /la+*
in you to &ake ea,h one o/ you a better 2er*on) When $ *ee any /la+* in
you or your grou2 o/ 2eo2le but $ negle,ted to in/or& you about the&<
then &y a,tion +a* not a ,orre,t one) $ +ould turn out to be un/aith/ul
to the Dha&&a taught by the Buddha and be,a&e a traitor to our /ather<
the Buddhabida) $ +ould like to kee2 thi* virtue +ith &e at all ti&e* by
being a ,riti, in the thing* that *hould be ,riti,iBed) The thing* that *u2
2orted &e to do like that +ere nothing but &y good +i*he* to all o/ you)
Plea*e li*ten to &e and try to under*tand) $ +ill begin &y *tory no+)
"n the /ull%&oon day o/ the tenth &onth< the Young Buddhi*t
A**o,iation o/ Thailand invited the 2arent* and guardian* o/ the ,hil
dren to ,o&e to a &eeting at the Buddha*athan auditoriu& to li*ten to
a di*,u**ion 2arti,ularly on the ,hildren) Be,au*e the 2roble&* about
,hildren are very big and +ill a//e,t the /uture o/ our ,ountry *o +e need
,oo2eration /ro& all *our,e* to hel2 a,,o&2li*h thi* goal) The Young
Buddhi*t A**o,iation< /or thi* rea*on< *ent out an invitation to the 2ar
ent* o/ the ,hildren to ,o&e to Buddha*athan and 2arti,i2ate in the
di*,u**ion) "n that 2arti,ular day< $ had to go to !ara2ee to give a *er
&on there *o $ did not have a ,han,e to *ay anything on that day at
Buddha*athan) Than Chao #hun -inai #o*ol< the 2rovin,ial governor<
and the di*tri,t ,hie/< +ere the *2eaker*) $ arrived at Buddha*athan but
very late) $ +a* ha22y to *ee that there +ere a lot o/ 2eo2le in the &eeting)
$t *ho+ed that all o/ you loved lightG you loved to learn and to 2ra,ti,e
+hat you have learned)
A/ter the &eeting +a* ad1ourned< the 2eo2le +ent their *e2arate +ay*)
$ &y*el/ *tayed overnight at Buddha*athan) The neFt &orning $ +oke u2
early) !o $ +ent do+n*tair* to the auditoriu&) $ looked under the ,hair*
99
and to &y di*&ay< $ /ound *o &any thing* the audien,e had /orgotten
about or 1u*t le/t the& there) $ really did not kno+) The ite&* le/t behind
in,luded 2eanut *hell*< *ugar ,ane< +ater< &elon *eed*< banana leave*< ,igarette
butt* both big and *&all< and a lot o/ a*he*) $ in*tru,ted the +orker*
to ,lean u2 the 2la,e 2ro&2tly) That +a* the end o/ that *tory) But in
&y &ind< the *tory ha* not ended by any &ean*) There are *everal thing*
to talk to you a* a re*ult o/ that)
There are rule* and regulation* /or being 2re*ent at a &eeting) But
&o*t o/ u* do not /ollo+ the& in 2ra,ti,e) Even in a &eeting a&ong the
&onk*< it i* not done in orderly &anner) They tend to do a* they 2lea*e)
Whenever +e do thing* a* +e 2lea*e< the Buddha Dha&&a +ill vani*h
/ro& our heart at that &o&ent) Buddha Dha&&a in thi* ,a*e &ean*
the ,ontrol over our &ind to a,t in a,,ordan,e +ith the rule* and regulation*)
"rdinarily< +e ,an do thing* a* +e 2lea*e i/ +e are alone in 2rivate
and no one ,an *ee +hat +e are doing) But i/ +e +ere in a grou2< it
doe* not have to be *everal 2eo2le< only t+o o/ u* together +ill *urely
de,rea*e our liberty to a ,ertain degree) Rule* and regulation* a* +ell a*
good &anner are the thing* that li&it our liberty to do a* +e 2lea*e) We
*a+ t+o gentle&en *itting together) $/ one o/ the& +anted to *&oke a
,igarette< he +ould a*k /or 2er&i**ion /ro& another 2er*on< DEF,u*e &e<
do you &ind i/ $ *&okeJE The other gentle&an< even though he &ight
not like the ,igarette *&oke< he +ould an*+er ,ourteou*ly that< DNever
&ind< 2lea*e go ahead and do a* you like)E Then the t+o o/ the& ,ould
*it and talk to ea,h other ,o&/ortably) Thi* i* an eFa&2le o/ a good etiHuette
in our *o,ial en,ounter)
We Thai* are a,,u*to&ed to doing anything a* +e 2lea*e) We +ill do
anything at any 2la,e +ithout thinking t+i,e) A* a rule< to be 2re*ent at
a &eeting< everyone &u*t be re*t/ul and Huiet) Never talk to one another
&aking noi*e* +hi,h di*turb other 2eo2le) Do not *&oke be,au*e toba,,o
*&oke +ill irritate other 2eo2le) Do not 2ound the betel nut* too loudly)
Never *2it the betel nut 1ui,e on the /loor) $/ the &eeting ha* anything to
do +ith religiou* rite*< 2arti,ular attention &u*t be ob*erved and *tri,tly
*o be,au*e +hen 2er/or&ing religiou* rite* at the 2la,e o/ +or*hi2< it ha*
a lot to do +ith *el/%,ontrol and al+ay* the ,leaning u2 o/ oneC* &ind)
9I
The 2arti,i2ant* o/ that &eeting *hould not do anything un+hole*o&e)
Buddha*athan i* a &eeting 2la,e /or religiou* a//air* a* +ell a* a 2la,e
/or the 2ro&otion o/ u*e/ul kno+ledge) $t* 2arti,i2ant* *hould have *o&e
,ontrol over their a,tion) Do not u*e the /loor o/ Buddha*athan to be a
garbage di*2o*al o/ all kind* o/ le/tover) Even in the ,a*e o/ a &eeting in
a *ala >2avilion@< it i* the *a&e) We *hould even ob*erve the rule* &ore
*tri,tly) The Thai 2eo2le +ill be,o&e &ore a nation o/ rule* and order)
With &ore *el/%,ontrol< the Thai nation +ill 2rogre** in a +hole*o&e +ay
a* 2lanned) 0ay $ a*k you to think about thi* and be a+are o/ the eFi*ting
*ituationJ
You 2eo2le &ay argue that the 2eanut *hell* and *ugar ,ane and
banana leave* +ere the re*ult o/ the ,hildren) They +ere not ,o&&itted
by the adult*) To argue like that i* only to *urvive thi* ti&e around) $/ you
,on*ider thi* /or a &o&ent< you +ill have to ad&it that anything about
,hildren ,o&e /ro& adult*) Adult* bring u2 and lead the ,hildren) They
tea,h the& to do everything both dire,tly and indire,tly) Whatever the
,hildren do are the re*ult o/ the a,tion o/ the gro+n%u2*) !o the gro+n%
u2* are at /ault and not really the ,hildren) Why do gro+n%u2* o/ten
&ake &i*take* about ,hildrenJ $ ,an tell you that it +a* due to ignoran,e
/or one thing and to the love you have /or the& /or another thing) But the
love i* de*tru,tive in nature or it i* the kind that ,reate* bad habit* &ore
than anything el*e i*)
0any ti&e* +hen you +anted to leave the hou*e to go *o&e+here
to do your thing< your little one *aid< D$ +ant to go +ith you< 0o&)E
You didnCt +ant hi& to go +ith you *o you *aid to hi& in a har*h voi,e<
DYou ,annot ,o&e +ith &eRE The boy heard the har*h voi,e and be,a&e
agitated) He though that hi* &other talked to hi& like *he did not love
hi&) !o he *tarted to ,ry) Not only he +a* ,rying but he al*o did *everal
thing* to try to +in hi* argu&ent) The Buddha on,e *aid< DA ,rying noi*e
o/ a ,hild i* 2o+er)E When you *a+ your *on ,rying< you +ould try to
hu&our hi&) But the ,rying did not *to2G then you +ould &ake 2ro&i*e*
in variou* +ay*) ;or eFa&2le< you 2ro&i*ed to give the little one *o&e
*+eet*< or to take hi& to a &ovie< to give hi& *o&e toy* and &any di/
/erent 2ro&i*e* 1u*t to &ake the ,rying *to2) !o the boy /elt en,ouraged)
95
He thought hi* ta,ti, really +orked +ell and *o he u*ed it all the ti&e)
$/ you +ould 1u*t have a little 2atien,e and did not allo+ your ,hildren
to +in that +ay and 1u*t le/t the& alone until you +ere not angry any
&ore and talked to the& ni,ely< you +ould have +on by a,ting rea*onably)
Your ,hildren in turn +ould not be *2oiled) Have you ever &ade thi*
kind o/ &i*takeJ $/ *o< 2lea*e try to ,hange by ,hoo*ing the right +ay)
!u22o*e you +ere going to Buddha*athan and your little boy +anted
to go +ith you) You let hi& a,,o&2any you) A* a &atter o/ /a,t< +e
*hould *e2arate the ,hildren /ro& adult* in *o&e ,a*e*) ;or in*tan,e< li*tening
to the *er&on at Buddha*athan on !unday* +a* ordinarily /or
the ,hildren) The 2arent* +ho loved their ,hildren and +anted the& to
attend the *er&on *hould *end the& over on that day) They +ould *urely
hear the to2i, *uitable /or ,hildren in 2arti,ular) You ,ould let the older
,hildren be in ,harge o/ the grou2) At any &eeting< +hi,h +a* &eant
/or adult*< you *hould not bring your ,hildren eF,e2t in ,a*e* +here the
grou2 leader +a* ,a2able o/ ,ontrolling the ,hildren) He or *he *hould
&ake *ure the ,hildren behave the&*elve* a22ro2riately *o that they did
not di*turb other< 2eo2le)
While you are +alking on a road +ith your little one*< be a+are that
there +ill be *everal thing*< +hi,h are attra,tive to the&) Children by
nature +ill al+ay* +ant thing*) Whenever they *ee thing* they like< the
2arent* &u*t be 2re2ared to re*i*t the te&2tation o/ the ,hildren) ;or
eFa&2le< +hen you +alk 2a*t an inter*e,tion< you +ill 2robably en,ounter
2eanut vendor*< *ugar ,ane *eller* and +ater&elon *eed ha+ker*) All
tho*e thing* are /avourite /ood /or ,hildren) $t i* ,ertain that the ,hildren
are going to a*k you to buy the& and then +hat are you going to do
in that *ituationJ 0y advi,e i* that /ir*t o/ all you kno+ +hat the ,hildren
+ant) !o +e have to 2revent that /ro& ha22ening by not giving
the& the ti&e to take any intere*t in tho*e /ood) ;or in*tan,e< you ,an
+alk Hui,kly 2a*t the *tall*) "r you &ay talk to the ,hildren about *o&ething
intere*ting to dra+ their attention a+ay) That i* one +ay to avoid
an un2lea*ant *ituation)
$/ it *o ha22ened that you +ere o// guard) You a22roa,hed the *tall
and the ,hildren a*ked /or it right a+ay) You *hould try to talk *o they
98
under*tood that the /ood on *ale +ere not good) They +ere not +ell ,overed
and there +ere /lie* all over the /ood) Tho*e /lie* had vi*ited ,o+
&anure and ,hi,ken dro2* in,luding that o/ hu&an) Tho*e dirty *tu//*
*tu,k to their /eet) When they ,a&e to the /ood on *ale< tho*e dirty *tu//*
+ere tran*/erred to the /ood) The dirty *tu// ,ontained ba,teria) $/ tho*e
ba,teria got in*ide the hu&an *to&a,h< you +ould have a *to&a,h a,he
like the la*t ti&e) Talk to the& until they under*tood u*ing your hand
&ove&ent to e&2ha*iBe a 2oint to *o&e eFtent) Then you led the& a+ay
/ro& tho*e *tall*) Thi* i* the be*t +ay to handle the *ituation) $n ,a*e
there are *o&e /ood< +hi,h are not bad /or the ,hildren< you &ay allo+
the& to buy it) But the /ood &u*t be eaten at a 2ro2er 2la,e) Never allo+
the& to eat the /ood in the &eeting roo&) Train the& to kno+ the right
ti&e and the right 2la,e +hen they are *till young *o +hen they gro+ u2
they +ill behave 2ro2erly) Thank* to you +ho al+ay* gave the& good
advi,e)
At any ti&e your ,hildren got *i,k< you *hould take that o22ortunity
to talk to the& *o that they +ill be able to *ee the danger o/ +rong doing<
+hi,h &ay bring hard*hi2 into their li/e) The 2arent* *hould try to /ind
every o22ortunity to tea,h their ,hildren *o they ,an be ,orre,tly ,alled
*o&e one +ho love their ,hildren the right +ay)
Even eating +ithin your o+n /a&ily< you *hould al+ay* train your*el/
to have a good eating habit) DonCt ever do anything a,,ording to your
de*ire be,au*e it +ill be da&aging to your ,hildren in the long run) The*e
little thing* are the one*< +hi,h have brought *o &u,h har&* to a lot o/
2eo2le) !o 2lea*e be e*2e,ially ,are/ul about the&)
"b*erve that *o&e ,hildren are healthy +hile *o&e are very +eak)
Who &ade the& that +ayJ The 2arent* are the one* +ho did that) There
are /ather*< +ho behave naughtily) They love to /reHuent un+hole*o&e
2la,e* ,olle,ting di*ea*e* a* the gi/t* /or the ,hildren) !o&e ,hildren
+ere born +ith abnor&ality< i)e) bad eye*< et,) The /ather +ho 1u*t +ant*
to have /un ,an bring da&age* to the ,hildren in thi* +ay) !o he &u*t be
,are/ul about it) !o&e &other* are the *a&e) They *2end the ti&e having
/un by di*tributing 2a2er and have no ti&e to take ,are o/ their ,hildren)
They leave the ,hildren alone) And at the end the ,hildren be,o&e
94
bad due to la,k o/ attention) The dutie* o/ the 2arent* are to bring u2
the ,hildren) To guide the ,hildren in the right +ay< the ,orre,t +ay< are
the thing* /or the& to do +hile the ,hildren are *till young) Try to in*till
good habit* and good deed* little by little< then your ,hildren +ill be,o&e
good 2er*on*) When they be,o&e adult*< they +ill be good ,itiBen* o/
our ,ountry in the /uture)
bad due to la,k o/ attention) The dutie* o/ the 2arent* are to bring u2
the ,hildren) To guide the ,hildren in the right +ay< the ,orre,t +ay< are
the thing* /or the& to do +hile the ,hildren are *till young) Try to in*till
good habit* and good deed* little by little< then your ,hildren +ill be,o&e
good 2er*on*) When they be,o&e adult*< they +ill be good ,itiBen* o/
our ,ountry in the /uture)
,i2line
in eating +ill ,reate di*,i2line in living) The*e are the real thing*
that are the /oundation in the develo2&ent o/ our ,ountry)
;or thi* rea*on< $ +ould like to re&ind you that your ,hildren de2end
on you to be good or bad) Try to be a good eFa&2le) Do not hu&our the
,hildren by doing thing* you kno+ +ill *2oil your ,hildren) Do not /eel
2ity on the ,hildren that you allo+ the& to do evil thing*) Thi* kind o/
2ity +ill be de*tru,tive to your loved one*)
I:
What Do Children Want< Where M WhenJ
What Do Children Want< Where M WhenJ
W
W
E ARE BUDDH$!T!) We +or*hi2 the Buddha) We live our live* in
a,,ordan,e +ith hi* tea,hing) We are ha22y to have hi& a* our
tea,her and our re/uge) Hi* li/e *tory i* intere*ting) ;ro& the ti&e he +a*
bornG gre+ u2 and &arried Prin,e** Pi&2aG be,a&e a &onk to *ear,h
/or the Truth< +hi,h +a* a 2ath leading to the ,e**ation o/ *u//ering)
When he had /ound the truth he announ,ed hi* /inding* to the 2eo2le
o/ the +orld) The tea,hing o/ hi* religion +ent on *&oothly at all ti&e*)
!o&eti&e* he &et the 2eo2le +ho +ere behaving badly) But a/ter they
&et +ith hi& and li*tened to hi* tea,hing and had *een hi* *erene atti
tude< they ,hanged /ro& being vi,iou* to be,o&ing ,ool hearted) They
be,a&e hi* di*,i2le* and +ere ordained a* Buddhi*t &onk*) The 2ro2
agation o/ hi* tea,hing* +a* u*e/ul to all kind* o/ 2eo2le) Even though
he died &ore than t+o thou*and /ive hundred year* ago< hi* Dha&&a
2rin,i2le* +hi,h are the /oundation o/ the right living *till +in over the
heart* o/ the 2eo2le) The *tudent*< +ho are *u22o*ed to have a good gri2
o/ +orldly kno+ledge in a,,ordan,e +ith the ne+ edu,ation 2lan< in gen
eral< do not believe in thei*&) But +hen they /ound the tea,hing ba*ed on
the ob*ervan,e o/ Dha&&a< they *u,,u&bed to the truth uttered by the
Buddha) $t i* really an intere*ting 2heno&enon in thi* day and age)
Why ha* the Buddha +on over the heart* and *oul* o/ *o &any
2eo2leJ Ho+ ,an hi* Dha&&a rea,h the &ind and ,lean*e the *oul *o
very +ellJ What i* the *e,ret o/ thi* *u,,e**J The an*+er i* in hi& being
able to *tudy and to under*tand the thought* and the /eeling* o/ the
2eo2le and to *ay thing*< +hi,h +ere *uitable to their kno+ledge) The
li*tener*< having heard the +ord*< +hi,h +ere a22ro2riate to their hab
it* and ,hara,ter*< ,ould readily a,,e2t hi* tea,hing* and 2ra,ti*ed the&
*o +ell) The Buddha +a* in e//e,t like a 2hy*i,ian< +ho kne+ the *y&2
to&* o/ hi* 2atient and 2re*,ribed a22ro2riate &edi,ation /or hi& or her)
And the 2atient re,overed /ro& the illne** a* he or *he +i*hed)
To learn about ea,h otherC* need* i* a good +ay to 2ro&ote unity
I)
a&ong u*) To *tudy thi* to2i,< +e begin by eFa&ining our o+n &ind)
Try to ob*erve the need* o/ your o+n &ind +hen you en,ounter a *ituation<
then re&e&ber the need* and ,o&2are the& to other 2eo2leC*
/eeling* and you +ill under*tand +hat they need) You +ill be able to
a,t in *u,h a +ay a* to &eet their need*) Tho*e +ho ,o&e near you +ill
love you) The 2eo2le< +ho ,annot get along +ith other 2eo2le< are none
other than tho*e +ho do not try to learn to kno+ about the /eeling* and
the need* o/ other 2eo2le) !o they are not *u,,e**/ul in &aking /riend*)
$n trying to under*tand ,hildren< it i* the ea*ie*t thing to do< be,au*e
a ,hildC* li/e i* not ,o&2li,ated) 0aya or de,e2tion* like that o/ a gro+n%
u2 have not tainted it) There are no tri,k* u2 their *leeve*) The /eeling
o/ a ,hild i* &o*t dire,t) !o it *hould be ea*y /or the nanny and the 2arent*<
i/ they are to ob*erve +ith intere*t< to kno+ +hat the ,hildren +ant)
$/ it i* the thing that ,an be had +ithout giving the& a bad habit< 2lea*e
&ake it ea*y /or the& and do not torture the& and &ake the& beg /or it)
Thi* i* the be*t +ay) $n reality< +hatever the ,hildren +ant are the need*
o/ nature) They have not +anted anything &ore than /or their 2hy*i,al
need*) EF,e2t /or the one* +ho +ere trained un+ittingly by the adult* to
have the need* that are not ne,e**ary /or the&) Babie* ,annot tell +hat
they need verbally *o they +ill &ake a *ign /or u* to *ee) Then they did
not get +hat they +anted they +ould &ake a loud ,ry a* i/ to a22eal to
tho*e ,lo*e to the&) When babie* ,ry< it &ean* *o&ething i* +rong +ith
the&) Do not al+ay* think that the babie* only need /ood) !o&eti&e* it
&ay have been in*e,t bite* or *o&ething o/ that nature) The little &attre**
on +hi,h they lie &ay be +et +ith the urine or *everal other thing*)
The 2arent* &u*t re&e&ber that +hen the babie* ,ry there &u*t be a rea*on
/or it) Try to /ind out +hat it really i*)
!everal year* ago there +a* a +o&an +ho 1u*t had her /ir*t baby boy)
"ne day the baby *tarted ,rying) No &atter +hat *he did he +ould not
*to2) The grand &other +a* an old%/a*hioned ty2e 2er*on) !he thought
that the angel &other o/ the baby ,a&e to tea*e hi&) !he +ent to *ee a
+it,h do,tor to a*k hi& to &ake a ,har& to 2ut around the babyC* ne,k
ho2ing it +ould *to2 the ,rying) The +it,h do,tor &ade a ,har& /or her)
Having re,eived the ,har&< *he &ade a 2re2aration by ,arrying the baby
I=
to take a bath and then the ,har& +ould be 2ut around hi* ne,k) !he
ha22ened to glan,e at the lo+er ba,k o/ the baby and *a+ a *&all +ound<
+hi,h +a* a re*ult o/ hi& lying on the +et &attre**) !o *he kne+ the
real rea*on +hy the baby +a* ,rying) !he 2o+dered the babyC* body and
hi* ba,k and ,hanged the linen on the &attre**) The little boy +ent ba,k
to *lee2 +ithout bothering the& any &ore) $n Dha&&a tea,hing< there
i* a *aying< DAll thing* have ,au*e*) To *to2 the e//e,t*< get rid o/ the
,au*e*)E Thi* tea,hing *hould be very u*e/ul to the 2arent*) Try to *tudy
the ,au*e* /ro& ob*erving your ,hildren) DonCt do anything /ooli*hly
and +ithout rea*on*) ;ooli*hne** on your 2art +ill 2enaliBe the ,hildren)
When they gro+ u2 they &ay turn out to be bad 2er*on*)
Whenever you have anything to do +ith the ,hildren< you *hould
/iF the ti&e and try to be al+ay* 2un,tual) DonCt do anything u*ing your
e&otion*) ;or eFa&2le< in /eeding< and bathing) But you *hould allo+ the
babie* to *lee2 a* /reely a* they need) And all the*e routine* &u*t be done
in an orderly &anner) The babie* are not going to be *o /u**y that you
have no ti&e to do other +ork and have to ,arry the& in your ar&* all
the ti&e) You donCt have to do like that and you *hould notR A/ter bathing
and /eeding the babie*< let the& *lee2 on a &attre** or a ,od ,o&/ortably)
Then you donCt have to do anything until the *,heduled ti&e*)
They +ill 2robably *lee2 ,o&/ortably a* i* the ,a*e o/ a ha22y baby) They
+ill be very ha22y i/ they are allo+ed to be their o+n *el/) We adult* al*o
+ant to have the ti&e o/ our o+n) We +ant to be le/t alone in a Huiet
2la,e a* +ell) Children al*o have the *a&e need) $ +ant to re&ind you to
be ,ogniBant o/ thi* /a,t) A*ide /ro& the 2arent*< the grand 2arent* on
both *ide* o/ten are eF,ited about the grand ,hildren) They +ill 2a&2er
the& all the ti&e) They +ill al*o kee2 bothering the& by li/ting the&
u2 and &aking all kind* o/ &ove&ent*) $n doing that< even though they
*ho+ the love to+ard* the ,hildren< they &ay har& the ,hildren a* +ell)
The right +ay i* not to bother the& *o &u,h) The ,hildren +ill turn out
to be +eak +hen they gro+ u2) The +eakne** in the &ind o/ a 2er*on
+ill bring about the de,line o/ that /a&ily) That i* +hy $ +ant to +arn
you on thi*)
Another &i*take &ade by the 2arent* i* related to not trying to
I?
under*tand the need* o/ the ,hildren but u*ing their o+n need in*tead)
Do not u*e delu*ional /eeling* +ith ,hildren) Do not 2uni*h the ,hildren
in the +rong +ay< /or in*tan,e< by verbal abu*e and ,aning< in order to
/righten the ,hildren by the 2uni*h&ent alone until the ,hildren be,o&e
ob*tinate and totally *2oiled) Plea*e u*e thi* a* a guideline) Re/rain /ro&
,aning and other /ooli*h ,ruel treat&ent*) U*e your intelligen,e to
re/or& the& in*tead) Thi* &ethod +ill not har& the ,hildren in any
+ay) $t +ill not ,on/u*e their &ind and it +ill hel2 to &ake the& &ore
thought/ul in the /uture) Thi* i* one thing to re&e&ber)
under*tand the need* o/ the ,hildren but u*ing their o+n need in*tead)
Do not u*e delu*ional /eeling* +ith ,hildren) Do not 2uni*h the ,hildren
in the +rong +ay< /or in*tan,e< by verbal abu*e and ,aning< in order to
/righten the ,hildren by the 2uni*h&ent alone until the ,hildren be,o&e
ob*tinate and totally *2oiled) Plea*e u*e thi* a* a guideline) Re/rain /ro&
,aning and other /ooli*h ,ruel treat&ent*) U*e your intelligen,e to
re/or& the& in*tead) Thi* &ethod +ill not har& the ,hildren in any
+ay) $t +ill not ,on/u*e their &ind and it +ill hel2 to &ake the& &ore
thought/ul in the /uture) Thi* i* one thing to re&e&ber)
ner<
you have *ho+n the&) .ive the& a ki**) Play +ith the& *o that they
be,o&e a&u*ed and /orget about that thing all together) $n general< ,hildren
tend to /orget Huite ea*ily and a lot &ore Hui,kly than adult*) The
atta,h&ent o/ e&otion i* *o little) At the end< they +ill be all right)
When +e talk about the 2uni*h&ent by *2anking< *o&e 2arent* &ay
think that +ithout it the ,hildren +ill be,o&e haughty and +ill not be
a/raid o/ the&) $n regard to thi* &i*,on,e2tion< $ +ant to &ake it ,lear
that you ,an *till u*e *2anking +hen your ,hildren have gro+n u2 a little
bit and ,an under*tand *o&e *i&2le thing* and not totally inno,ent
+hen you try to eF2lain *o&ething to the&) But i/ your ,hildren ha22en
to be hard to tea,hG and i/ they are not 2uni*hed to &ake the& re&e&berG
and you are a/raid that they +ill not li*tenG then the 2uni*h&ent &u*t be
done at the right ti&e and the right 2la,e) $t ha* to be done +ithin rea*on
and you &u*t &ean +hat you *ay) DonCt do it 1u*t to Drelea*e your angerE<
be,au*e the a,tion &ay be too *evere due to you being angry and ,annot
*ee thing* *traight) You &u*t be very ,are/ul about thi*) The +ord* Dti&e
I6
and 2la,eE &ean that you have to kno+ the right ti&e and 2la,e to 2uni*h)
;or eFa&2le< do not 2uni*h the ,hildren be/ore &eal ti&e or +hile
they are eating) Thi* +ill ,on/u*e the &ind o/ the ,hildren *o &u,h that
they ,annot eat their &eal) !o&e 2eo2le< +hile the ,hildren are eating<
*,old the& u*ing vulgarity) The ,hildren have to eat /ood 2lu* tear* +hile
*obbing in angui*h) $ ,annot *ee ho+ it ,an be /un) Do not 2uni*h the&
in /ront o/ your gue*t* or in /ront o/ other ,hildren) Thi* +ill &ake the&
too e&barra**ed) Try to think o/ your*el/) $/ *o&e one in*ult you in /ront
o/ other 2eo2le< +ill you like itJ $ kno+ you donCt) !o&eti&e* you +ill
end u2 /ighting +ith that 2er*on +ho in*ulted you) Children have a heart
a* +ell) !o donCt 2uni*h the& at *u,h ti&e and 2la,e)
$n regard to having good enough rea*on to 2uni*h< it i* *o&ething
like thi*) Be/ore 2uni*hing your ,hildren< you &u*t have enough eviden,e
to *ho+ +hat they have a,tually done +rong) Do not 2uni*h the&
+ithout being *ure) Re&e&ber an old *aying< DCat,h tightly< *HueeBe
deadlyE< be,au*e in 2uni*hing the ,hildren +e &u*t let the& kno+ that
they have a,tually done +rong and +hat they did +a* *eriou* enough and
it &ay be har&/ul to the& in the /uture) $t i* *o&ething that the 2arent*
have /orbidden the& not to do and they *till do it *o you have to 2uni*h
the&) The ,hildren +ill not be *ad /or being 2uni*hed in the &i*take they
have &ade) They kno+ they are al*o given a ,han,e to be good 2eo2le in
the /uture)
;or your a,tion to have &eaning i* *o&ething like thi*) "n,e the
te&2le boy* violated an order o/ the abbot) He ,alled all the +rong doer*
to ,o&e to a &eeting to eF2lain to the& that tho*e a,tion* +ere not
2ro2er /or the te&2le boy* to do) A/ter all o/ the& under*tood the i**ue<
they +ere given a 2robation on a ,ondition that +hoever did that again
+ould be ,aned /ive ti&e*) Every boy +a* ha22y that they +ere not ,aned
that ti&e and tried to behave the&*elve* +ell all the ti&e) But there +a* a
boy +ho +a* re,kle** and did +rong again) The abbot ,alled hi& to talk
about the &i*take) $t +a* to re&ind hi& o/ all the i**ue* involved and he
told the boy that thi* kind o/ &i*take +a* /orbidden in the la*t ti&e and
they +ere told +hoever did that again +ould be ,aned /ive ti&e*< DThi*
ti&e $ +ill have to do it) At 8)): P)0) $ +ill *tart the ,aning and let you
I9
go)E He al*o told the boy< DCo&e to *ee &e at 8):: P)0)E That evening
the abbot ha22ened to have vi*itor*) They talked until 4):: P)0) be/ore
the gue*t* *aid goodbye) At 8):: P)0) the errant boy ,a&e to *it not /ar
/ro& +here they +ere talking and +aited until the gue*t* le/t) He then
a22roa,hed the abbot to 2ay ho&age to hi&) The abbot *aid $ +a* going
to ,o&e at 8)): P)0) No+ that ti&e ha* 2a**ed) You are /ree to go and
+ill not be ,aned) That boy +a* ,o&2letely re/or&ed) He realiBed ho+
/airly the abbot had treated hi&) He turned out to be,o&e &ore a+are
o/ hi&*el/ and had not done +rong again) The abbot &eant $ +hat he
*aid) Hi* +ord* +ere *a,red and the boy ,ould *ee the&) The /airne**
and the intention< +hi,h are *o /ull o/ ,o&2a**ion< re/or&ed hi& totally)
Plea*e try to re&e&ber< DLove +in* over hatred and ,o&2a**ion +in*
over vi,iou*ne**< al+ay*)E
go)E He al*o told the boy< DCo&e to *ee &e at 8):: P)0)E That evening
the abbot ha22ened to have vi*itor*) They talked until 4):: P)0) be/ore
the gue*t* *aid goodbye) At 8):: P)0) the errant boy ,a&e to *it not /ar
/ro& +here they +ere talking and +aited until the gue*t* le/t) He then
a22roa,hed the abbot to 2ay ho&age to hi&) The abbot *aid $ +a* going
to ,o&e at 8)): P)0) No+ that ti&e ha* 2a**ed) You are /ree to go and
+ill not be ,aned) That boy +a* ,o&2letely re/or&ed) He realiBed ho+
/airly the abbot had treated hi&) He turned out to be,o&e &ore a+are
o/ hi&*el/ and had not done +rong again) The abbot &eant $ +hat he
*aid) Hi* +ord* +ere *a,red and the boy ,ould *ee the&) The /airne**
and the intention< +hi,h are *o /ull o/ ,o&2a**ion< re/or&ed hi& totally)
Plea*e try to re&e&ber< DLove +in* over hatred and ,o&2a**ion +in*
over vi,iou*ne**< al+ay*)E
I
Ho+ to Corre,t Bullying Children
Ho+ to Corre,t Bullying Children
L
L
A!T !ATURDAY +e talked about learning to kno+ the need* o/ the
,hildren and that +hen +e under*tood +hat they needed +e +ould
try to give +hatever they really needed to the&) At the end +e talked
about the 2uni*h&ent +hi,h *hould be done at the right ti&e and the
right 2la,e +ithin rea*on* and to &ake it &eaning/ul) $ al*o re&inded
you to u*e ,aning only +hen it +a* a22ro2riate to do and not to u*e ,aning
indi*,ri&inately be,au*e it &ight &ake your ,hildren ob*tinate and
they &ight think that your 2uni*h&ent +a* nothing to be a/raid o/) Then
the end re*ult +ould be that you ,ould not ,ontrol your ,hildren +ith
an adver*e ,on*eHuen,e /or your ,hildren and your*el/ later on) $ ho2e
that you under*tood the rea*on* and u*e the& to your advantage to a
,ertain degree) Today< $ +ould like to re&ind you a little &ore on thi*
*ub1e,t) Plea*e li*ten ,are/ully and ,on*ider +hat i* really going on about
you and your ,hildren) $t i* like looking at you in a &irror) When you
*ee any dirty *2ot*< you ,an &ake ,orre,tion right a+ay) Anything about
,hildren i* intere*ting and &u*t be handled al+ay* in a *2e,ial +ay) ;or
in*tan,e< i/ *o&ething ha22ened to the ,hildren you *hould kno+ +hat
to do /ir*t and then +hat)
!u22o*e one o/ your boy* have a bad habit o/ being a bully< +ho i*
*o&e one a,ting like a thug) You *hould /ind a +ay to tran*/or& hi& by
eF2laining to hi& that +e love our*elve* and donCt +ant anyone to hurt
u*) DEveryone i* a/raid o/ being hurt and i* a/raid to die) Like +hen your
&other ,a&e at you +ith a ,ane< you are a/raid o/ her) $/ you are a/raid<
the other 2eo2le are a/raid 1u*t like you) Think about it ,are/ully and
donCt go around ,au*ing trouble to other 2eo2le) To &ake trouble /or
other 2eo2le i* al*o bringing unha22ine** to you)E A*k hi& to u*e hi*
knu,kle to kno,k on the /loor on,e) He *hould under*tand that it i* 2ain/ul
and doe* not +ant to kno,k on that /loor again) Tell hi& the 2eo2le
+ho love to bully other 2eo2le are ,alled Dra*,al*E) Anyone identi/ied< a*
a ra*,al u*ually ha* no one to a**o,iate +ith) DWhen you &ake a habit o/
I5
2i,king on a lot o/ 2eo2le< and &any 2eo2le have 2roble&* +ith you< they
&ay 1u*t get together and ,o&e a/ter you ,au*ing in1ury or even death)
Tho*e +ho ,au*e other* to *u//er +ill *u//er the&*elve* later on)E
Children +ho love to 2i,k on other 2eo2le o/ten *tarted by de*troying
thing*< killing *&all ani&al*) Then they tran*/or& the&*elve* to bullying
their /riend*) !o you *hould be ,are/ul no to allo+ your ,hildren to
have any o22ortunity to 2ra,ti,e de*troying thing*) $t +ill be,o&e their
habit) To talk and ,oun*el like the above i* the /ir*t 2riority) $/ it doe* not
give any re*ult< you have to ,oun*el the& again and again by *eeing the&
in 2er*on and tea,hing the& ni,ely) Re&e&ber that your ,hildren already
have vi,iou*ne** in their &ind) Do not try to in,rea*e it to the& by no
*ho+ing anger nor 2uni*hing the& +ithout eF2laining the rea*on*) $/ you
do that it +ill in,rea*e vi,iou*ne** in hi&) When the /ire i* raging< do not
2our ga*oline on it) .ive the /ire *o&e +ater and it +ill be eFtingui*hed)
.iving advi,e in a ni,e +ay ha* &any advantage*) $/ the advi*e doe*
not +ork then +e need to u*e *o&e *trong%ar& &ethod 1u*t a little) ;or
in*tan,e< by *aying that i/ they do that again +e +ill 2uni*h the& by not
allo+ing the& out o/ the hou*e or by ,aning ho+ &any ti&e* a* a +arning
/or the& to kno+ in advan,e) A/ter having 2ro&i*ed to 2uni*h the&<
you your*el/ &u*t not /ail to re&e&ber the 2ro&i*e) DonCt ever /orget it)
$/ you /orget +hen they &ake that &i*take and you do not 2uni*h the&
a* 2ro&i*ed< they +ill not re*2e,t you any &ore) They +ill think o/ you
a* being unreliable) The di*,i2line and order +ill be ruined) Al+ay* do a*
you have told the&) Even though you have to do it *everal ti&e* you *till
have to do a* you *aid) A/ter you have 2ro&i*ed the& and a/ter+ard* the
*a&e &i*take ha22ened again< you +ill have to think it over very ,are/ully)
Do not think only that your ,hildren +ere at /ault and only they alone)
There &ight be *o&ething that irritated the& that ,reated an e&otion to
/ight and hit one another) $t i* the duty o/ the 2arent* to u*e their +i*do&
the be*t they kno+ ho+) Look at all the *urrounding ,ir,u&*tan,e* to
/ind it* ,au*e and then try to eli&inate the ,au*e) Re&e&ber a Dha&&a
2rin,i2le< DAll thing* have ,au*e*) Look /or the ,au*e*) "n,e /ound
eli&inate the&) The e//e,t< +hi,h i* trouble< +ill go a+ay)E
By ,ontrolling and looking /or the ,au*e< the re*ult +ill be +hole
I8
*o&e to your ,hildren) .ro+n%u2* &u*t not be hot headed) Whatever
you *ee ha22ening< do not 2ani,) #ee2 ,al& and look /or the rea*on*<
or to grab a hold o/ the *ituation /ir&ly) ;or eFa&2le< i/ you have *everal
,hildren in your ,harge and the &oney in your 2ur*e +a* &i**ing
o/ten +ithout kno+ing +ho +a* the ,ul2rit) When you donCt kno+ /or
*ure< do not ,o&2lain or eF2re** any rea,tion) A,t like you are not 2aying
any attention a* i/ nothing ha* ha22ened to your &oney) But you
need to u*e your +i*do& to ob*erve ea,h one o/ the& and take note o/
ho+ they behave in regard to their *2ending habit) "n one evening you
*hould in*tru,t all the ,hildren to be 2re*ent in /ront o/ a Buddha i&age<
/or in*tan,e< to 2ay ho&age together) Then you *tart talking about the
evil o/ *tealing) Perha2*< *o&e o/ the ,hildren do not kno+ that *tealing
i* +rong) They did it be,au*e they +anted the &oney) We ,annot bla&e
the& too &u,h about that) We adult* 2robably have not told the& that it
i* a *in to *teal) $/ they kne+ they +ould not have done it) Nor&ally< ,hildren
do not +ant to &ake &i*take or to do thing*< +hi,h the adult* do
not like) We *hould tell the& the rea*on* and at the *a&e ti&e ob*erve
their rea,tion*) Do not &ake an a,,u*ation by 1u*t having a *u*2i,ion)
There &u*t be ,on,rete eviden,e to a,,u*e *o&e one) Thi* 2ra,ti,e +ill
&ake the ,hildren re*2e,t you and be /ear/ul o/ you) They +ill al*o *ee
that you are +i*er than they are) They ,an no longer /ool you) At the end
they +ill *to2 &aking that kind o/ &i*take /or good)
"n ",tober 9th< )4I5< one day be/ore the ChildrenC* Day< Buddha*athan
arranged a &eeting /or the ,hildren to li*ten to a *er&on a* u*ual be,au*e
it +a* al*o on a !unday) A &an ,a&e to &e telling &e that *o&e one had
entered the *torage roo& and took *everal &iniature /lag*) The ,hildren
kne+ that on the ChildrenC* Day< any boy* and girl*< +ho 2inned a &iniature
/lag on the ,he*t +ould be given a /ree gi/t) !o they got the /lag*
+ithout telling anybody) At the ti&e o/ the *er&on< it *o ha22ened that $
+a* going to talk about the !e,ond Pre,e2t< +hi,h dealt +ith an ab*tention
/ro& *tealing) !o $ eF2lained to the audien,e *te2 by *te2 and then $
a*ked the& Hue*tion< DWhen +e ,o&e to Buddha*athan< a 2la,e tea,hing
2eo2le to do good< +e kno+ all the 2ro2erty at Buddha*athan belong* to
the 2ubli,) $/ *o&e one de,ided to take *o&e 2ro2erty +ithout 2er&i*
I4
*ion /ro& the ,urator< i* that a good thing to doJE The ,hildren an*+ered
in uni*on that it +a* not) $ a*ked the& /urther that i/ *o&e one did
be,au*e they did not realiBe that it +a* +rong< +a* that the +rong thing
to doJ They all *aid it +a* *till +rong) $ +ent on to *ay that everyone ,ould
al+ay* &ake a &i*take +ithout kno+ing) $/ they kne+ it +a* +rong and
,on/e**ed and returned the thing* to u*< that 2er*on +ho kne+ they had
done +rong and tried to ,orre,t the *ituation +ere good 2eo2le) DWho
+ant to be good 2eo2leJE Everyone rai*ed hi* or her hand) DWhen you
+ant to be good 2eo2le you ,an do it by returning the /lag*E) The ,hildren
+ho took the little /lag* gave all o/ the& ba,k) They +ere greeted +ith
a loud a22lau*e and +ere ,o&2li&ented by &e< +ho +a*< o/ ,our*e< the
2rea,her) Thi* i* a good &ethod) And $ +ant to give it a* a gi/t to all the
2arent* to u*e it a* a +ay to train your ,hildren to be,o&e good 2eo2le)
*ion /ro& the ,urator< i* that a good thing to doJE The ,hildren an*+ered
in uni*on that it +a* not) $ a*ked the& /urther that i/ *o&e one did
be,au*e they did not realiBe that it +a* +rong< +a* that the +rong thing
to doJ They all *aid it +a* *till +rong) $ +ent on to *ay that everyone ,ould
al+ay* &ake a &i*take +ithout kno+ing) $/ they kne+ it +a* +rong and
,on/e**ed and returned the thing* to u*< that 2er*on +ho kne+ they had
done +rong and tried to ,orre,t the *ituation +ere good 2eo2le) DWho
+ant to be good 2eo2leJE Everyone rai*ed hi* or her hand) DWhen you
+ant to be good 2eo2le you ,an do it by returning the /lag*E) The ,hildren
+ho took the little /lag* gave all o/ the& ba,k) They +ere greeted +ith
a loud a22lau*e and +ere ,o&2li&ented by &e< +ho +a*< o/ ,our*e< the
2rea,her) Thi* i* a good &ethod) And $ +ant to give it a* a gi/t to all the
2arent* to u*e it a* a +ay to train your ,hildren to be,o&e good 2eo2le)
ing
in the hou*e< but there +a* boy +ho did not under*tand the rea*on
+hy he had to ,lo*e the gate) He +a* ob*tinate and *tubborn and did
not +ant to obey the in*tru,tion) He 1u*t le/t the gate o2en) We did not
really kno+ +hat to do +ith hi&) $/ +e +anted to 2uni*h hi& +hile +e
+ere angry then the *ituation +ould get +or*e) The boy +ould be,o&e
&ore *tubborn) "r i/ he +anted to ,o&2ly< it +ould be out o/ /ear and not
be,au*e he did it voluntarily) The re*ult +a* not going to be good /or that
boy either +ay) All $ ,an *ay i* to 2uni*h the ,hildren u*ing the &ethod
that doe* not allo+ the& to under*tand the rea*on i* not the right thing
to do) $t i* an unrea*onable 2uni*h&ent and very har&/ul) A* a rule<
there &u*t be an under*tanding) They &u*t under*tand the i**ue ,learly)
Then they ,an be 2uni*hed a* *tated in the rule*) The ,hildren +ho realiBed
they +ere +rong +ill not /eel badly even though they +ould be 2uni*hed)
But i/ they thought they +ere 2uni*hed due to a bia* they +ould
/eel very hurt) Plea*e do not hurt the /eeling* o/ our ,hildren)
A/ter you have 2uni*hed the& u*ing good enough rea*on*< /orget
5:
about the +hole thing) You &u*t try to think a* i/ nothing ha* ha22ened
bet+een you and your ,hildren)
To 2uni*h *o&e one and talk about it over and over +ill &ake you a
/u**y 2er*on) Your ,hildren +ill not re*2e,t you and they +ill *ay that
you are good /or nothing)
A* a rule< anything ,reating 2ain and e&barra**&ent i* not de*irable)
Anything ,reating ha22ine** +ill be de*irable to everybody) They +ant to
talk about it o/ten) But it &u*t be done at the right ti&e +ith the right
*tu// to &ake 2eo2le /eel ,o&/ortable al+ay*'
Thing* to Re&e&ber
L)
Do not 2uni*h the ,hildren +hen the &i*take +a* not &ade in your
2re*en,e or there +a* no eviden,e 2roving that it +a* their /ault)
=)
Do not 2uni*h any ,hildren in order to get even +ith another
2er*on *u,h a* in a ,a*e you are angry +ith the /ather but you hurt
the *on) Thi* i* not /air to the latter)
?)
Do not 2o*t2one the 2uni*h&ent +hen the &i*take +a* &ade in
your 2re*en,e or you have enough 2roo/< e)g) to 2o*t2one by *aying
that< DWait till your /ather ,o&e* ho&e< $ +ill tell hi& to beat youE)
6)
Do not u*e unrelated event to 2uni*h the ,hildren< e)g) you 2ro&i*ed
to take the& to a 2lay) Then your ,hildren &ade a &i*take *o
you de,ided to ,an,el attending the 2lay) To ,an,el going to the 2lay
+a* intended to 2uni*h the ,hildren) You *hould not do that at all)
9)
Do not a,t like a +inner a/ter you have 2uni*hed a ,hild) The ,hild
+ill believe that the 2uni*h&ent +a* only &ade to relieve your
anger) "r it +ill indi,ate to hi& that you are a +eak 2er*on) The
,hild +ill not be a/raid o/ you in the /uture)
I)
Do not 2uni*h the ,hildren i/ another kind o/ 2uni*h&ent ha*
already been in/li,ted on the&) ;or eFa&2le< the ,hildren +ere
naughty and /ell do+n) You +ere angry and hit the& and al*o *aid
*o&ething vulgar) That i* not 2ro2er) Be,au*e /alling ha* already
taught the& a le**on ho+ 2ain/ul it +a*) Do not add a &ental 2ain
to the&) $/ the ,hildren are 1u*t inno,ent babie*< you your*el/ have
to 2ay ,are/ul attention the&)
5)
Do not 2uni*h the ,hildren u*ing your tongue) !,olding and being
5)
/u**y are u*ele** /or the ,hildren) $t +ill only hel2 tran*/er that
/u**y are u*ele** /or the ,hildren) $t +ill only hel2 tran*/er that
)
8) Anything you *aid +a* +rong &u*t be +rong all the ti&e e)g) your
,hild *la22ed you on the /a,e and you *2anked hi& or her /or having
bad behaviour) Later on the ,hild *la22ed you again) $t ha22ened
to be the ti&e +hen you +ere in good &ood *o you laughed
and ,on*idered it a 1oke) You a,tion +ill ,on/u*e the ,hild and he
or *he +ill not kno+ /or *ure +hen or ho+ it +a* right or +rong)
4) Do not u*e di//erent *tandard bet+een tho*e +ho have the authority
to 2uni*h) The /ather and the &other *hould u*e the *a&e kind
o/ 2uni*h&ent /or *i&ilar kind o/ &i*take)
L:)
DonCt be bia*ed in your 2uni*h&ent< e)g) brother* /ighting ea,h
other) The older one +a* 2uni*hed &ore than the younger one
be,au*e he +a* *&aller) The older one +a* hurt and be,a&e 1ealou*
o/ the younger one) He +a* &ad and &ight in/li,t in1ury to hi*
younger brother later on) He &ay al*o lo*e re*2e,t /or you)
LL)
DonCt 2uni*h a ,hild re2eatedly but un,onvin,ingly) Do it and
&ean bu*ine**)
L=)
DonCt 2uni*h a ,hild i&2ro2erly< e)g) *ho+ing anger by not talking
to hi& or her /or three day*)
L?)
Do not have an argu&ent about the 2uni*h&ent in /ront o/ the
,hildren) $/ you +ant to argue< do it +ithout being *een by the&)
L6)
DonCt do it hal/%heartedly be,au*e you donCt +ant to 2uni*h the
,hild your*el/ but you &ake a loud angry voi,e to &ake other
2eo2le do the 1ob /or you) Your 2uni*h&ent +ill have no &eaning
and the ,hild +ill not be a/raid o/ it)
To 2uni*h a ,hild i* very i&2ortant) Do not 2uni*h hi& or her +ithout
a 2rin,i2le) The above )6 guideline* o/ 2uni*h&ent &u*t be re&e&bered
and u*ed by you) Your ,hildren +ill turn out to be 2olite and +ell
behaved and they +ill re*2e,t your authority and li*ten to you) $/ you
donCt a,t 2ro2erly u*ing e&otion and anger in handling your ,hildren< it
i* your o+n /ault) You ,annot bla&e anybody) Ho2e/ully< you +ill not
have to *u//er the ,on*eHuen,e by overlooking &y advi,e)
5=
Do Not Create the Land o/ Terror
in the 0ind o/ your Children
Do Not Create the Land o/ Terror
in the 0ind o/ your Children
P
P
LEA!E L$!TEN to the *tory about ,hildren again) $n the la*t ,ha2ter +e
have talked about ho+ to 2uni*h your ,hildren) $t ended +ith *everal
re&inder* /or you to re&e&ber and to u*e the& a* a guideline) Tea,hing
and bring%u2 your ,hildren i* an i&2ortant and deli,ate 1ob) $t al+ay*
need* kno+ledge and *2e,ial *kill*) You already kno+ about 2hy*i,al
2uni*h&ent) Today $ +ill talk about &ental 2uni*h&ent< +hi,h &ean*
2lanting *o&e o/ the bad habit* in the ,hildren) And a/ter the ,hildren
have re,eived< tho*e habit* +ill 1eo2ardiBe their li/e until they be,o&e
adult*) !o&e o/ the habit* +ill *tay +ith the& until the day they die)
Re&e&ber that nor&al ,hildren are like +et ,lay) $t ,an be &oulded or
*,ul2ted into anything) Al*o nor&ally ,hildren +ill ea*ily a,,e2t thing*
and tho*e thing* +ill be retained in hi* &ind /or a long ti&e) .ro+n%u2*
&u*t be ,are/ul never to i&2re** any har&/ul 2i,ture* in the &ind o/ the
,hildren)
"ne o/ the da&age* the 2arent* and the nanny o/ten ,au*e' unintentionally
to the ,hildren i* by u*ing a *i&2le tri,k) The 2ra,ti,e ha* *2oiled
,ountle** nu&ber* o/ ,hildren e*2e,ially in our ,ountry o/ Thailand)
When the 2eo2le in ,harge o/ the little ,hildren *ee that they are naughty
and out o/ ,ontrol< and they are too laBy to look a/ter the&< they +ould
u*e thi* tri,k< +hi,h i* har&/ul to the ,hildren) That i* by lying to the&<
to &ake the& a/raid o/ *o&ething) ;or eFa&2le< they +ill *ay that< DDonCt
you go into that roo& be,au*e you +ill be bitten by a *tray ,at)E "r *o&e
*trange ,reature in*ide i* very *,ary) And +hen they talk about it they
&ake it *ound *o /rightening) Thi* i* a te,hniHue to *,are the ,hildren)
Any adult* +ho did *o&ething like that< even though the intention +a*
to di*,ourage the ,hildren /ro& behaving naughtily< but their a,tion*
+ere not 2ro2er) The adult* the&*elve* +ere *in/ul be,au*e they did not
*2eak the truth) To /ool the ,hildren thoughtle**ly like that to *,are the&
needle**ly and &ake the& a,t ,o+ardly a* +ell)
5?
.enerally in Thailand 2eo2le o/ten love to tell gho*t *torie* to the
,hildren) The *torie* +ere /ull horrible tale*) Little ,hildren loved to hear
*torie* like that but they +ere /ear/ul) Neverthele**< they endured and li*tened
be,au*e they +ere ,uriou*) When the *tory began< the ,hildren *at
a2art /ro& one another) A/ter a +hile they ,a&e ,lo*er together) Be/ore
long one o/ the& 1u&2ed into the &iddle o/ the ,ir,le +ithout realiBing
+hat he +a* doing) Thi* 2ra,ti,e in*tilled a bad habit o/ being a/raid o/
the gho*t* +ithout gaining any u*e/ul 2ur2o*e*) EF,e2t /or a /a,t that the
,hildren turned out to be a/raid o/ the thing* they *hould not be a/raid
o/ at all)
When $ +a* a little boy< $ +a* /ooled by tho*e *torie* a* +ell) At the
age o/ *even< $ +ent to *tay at a te&2le to learn to read and +rite) At night
the te&2le ,o&2ound +a* very Huiet) The *&aller ,hildren +ould *tay
together or ,lo*e to the &onk*) The bigger boy* +ould re&e&ber gho*t
*torie* to tell u* all the ti&e) !o&eti&e*< the &onk* +ould tell tho*e *torie*
a&ong the&*elve*) The *&aller boy* +ould al*o overhear the *torie*)
All the *torie* +ere *,ary< e)g)< a gho*t broke a novi,eC* ne,k or a gho*t
hanged a &an to a tree bran,h) The little boy* heard the *torie* and their
hair *tood on end +ith /ear) The /ear over+hel&ed u*) $ +a* *o *,ared) $
tried to *lee2 in bet+een &y /riend*) But &y /riend* al*o did not +ant
to *lee2 on the out*ide) We 1u*t /ought /or the ideal *2ot in the &iddle)
All o/ u* +ere not e&barra**ed to *ho+ our /ear) 0y /ear /or the gho*t*
or darkne** /ollo+ed &e /ro& tho*e day*) When $ attended a *e,ondary
*,hool $ +a* al*o a boy *,out) We had to 2ra,ti,e +alking long di*tan,e
and *taying over night in di//erent 2la,e*) !o&eti&e* +e had to hold a
&anoeuvre during the night) The ,o&&anding o//i,er ordered &e to a,t
a* a *,out and +at,hed the ene&ie* all alone by &y*el/) The *a&e /ear
,a&e to &y heart) $t 2rote*ted &y being in that *ituation) A &ind +a*
*,ared o/ the gho*t) Another &ind +a* a/raid o/ the o//i,er< +ho gave the
order) $t +a* like being *,ared o/ both the *har2 and the dull edge o/ a
kni/e) $ did not kno+ +hat to do) $ +alked +ith anFiety and +a* totally
horri/ied all the ti&e)
Think about it /or a &inute) Will that 2er*on be ha22y +hen he i*
doing *o&ething in /earJ Will the +ork be done +ellJ Naturally it i* not
56
going to be good) $ +a* /ear/ul like that until $ be,a&e &onk) A/ter having
*tudied the Dha&&a &ore and &ore< $ +a* able to *ee the ab*urdity
o/ the*e thing*) $ under*tood /inally that< /ear +a* the thought +e
/abri,ated our*elve*< to /ool our*elve*) 0y /ear *ee&ed to die do+n but
not all o/ it< un/ortunately) The thought about /ear *till /ool* &e on,e in
a +hile) Thi* i* the e//e,t o/ &aking ,hildren a/raid o/ the thing* they
*hould not be a/raid o/ at all) $t brought *o &u,h har& to the &ind o/ a
young 2er*on)
At Wat U&ong< there +a* a /ull hu&an *keleton on di*2lay) 0any
adult* looked at it and their hair *tood on end) They +ere a/raid to ,o&e
near the *keleton be,au*e they a,,e2ted the /a,t about the gho*t*) The
*keleton in their &ind &eant a gho*t) When they *a+ a ,o//in< +ith or
+ithout a ,or2*e< they thought o/ a gho*t) Even the 2a2er on the ,o//in
had gho*t* in their heart) They had a,,e2ted gho*t* in variou* /or&* and
2ut the& in their heart *in,e they +ere little ,hildren) Who 2ut the&
in their heartJ No one but their 2arent* and nannie* did) "n the other
hand< *o&e ,hildren +ent to !uan Buddhadha&&a garden) They *a+
the *a&e *keleton and did not even /lin,h) They ,a&e ,lo*e to the *keleton
and u*ed their hand* to tou,h it indi//erently) They had no /ear at all)
Be,au*e they had not been taught to i&agine a gho*t i&age in their &ind<
*o they +ere not a/raid o/ the thing* that *,ared other 2eo2le) Tho*e ,hildren
+hen they gro+ u2< +ould be,o&e brave 2er*on*) Their 2arent*
had done the right thing by not i&2lanting in the& any un+hole*o&e
thought*) But there are *till &any 2arent* +ho &i*under*tand thi* i**ue)
They tell *,ary *torie* about *o&ething that the ,hildren *hould not be
a/raid o/) !o $ +ould like to re&ind all the 2arent* to be a little &ore
,are/ul about thi*) DonCt do anything i&2ro2erly and un*uitably) Do not
bring any *tu2idity and /ear in any *ha2e or /or& into your ho&e)
$/ you have a boy +ho i* naughty and he love* to go all over the 2la,e)
You *hould /ind a +ay to ,ontrol but not by /ooling hi&) ;or eFa&2le< i/
you donCt +ant hi& to enter any roo& you *hould ,lo*e it* door tightly)
Do not allo+ anything to attra,t hi* ,urio*ity) $/ he i* able to enter that
roo& and you are a/raid that he &ay da&age *o&ething< do not 2ani,
and &ake a loud noi*e) A,ting like that +ill eF,ite hi& too &u,h and he
59
+ill be *,ared) $/ you are going to talk a&ong your 2eo2le o/ the *a&e age
and it ha22en* to be terri/ying or a &y*tery< donCt let your ,hildren overhear
it) Try to give your ,hildren *o&ething a22ro2riate to do in other
area* o/ the hou*e) You *hould eF2lain any ite&*< +hi,h &ay ,reate /ear
in your ,hildren *o that they +ill be a,,u*to&ed to the&) Ho2e/ully< they
+ill ,on*ider the thing* a* nor&al and nothing to be a/raid o/ at all)
At night +hen the &oon i* dark< you *hould train your ,hildren to
get u*ed to darkne**) ;or eFa&2le by +alking together in the dark +ith
the& or *it and talk in darkne**) 0ake the& get a,,u*to&ed to that environ&ent)
Do not allo+ your ,hildren to a**o,iate the&*elve* +ith the
2eo2le< +ho are *o /ooli*h a* to be a/raid o/ the thing* they *hould not be<
be,au*e +ith the a**o,iation< that /ear &ay *2read to your ,hildren very
ea*ily) !o&e ani&al* *u,h a* +or&* and ,enti2ede* are a+/ully re2ul*ive
and di*gu*ting) Anybody +ho *ee* the& +ould +ant to go a+ay) $/ you
a,t like that and allo+ the ,hildren to *ee you< the ,hildren +ill be *,ared
o/ the& a* +ell) $ +ould like to *ugge*t to you not to a,t *,ared /or your
,hildren to *ee) $t +ill be har&/ul to their &ind) You love your ,hildren
a lot< donCt youJ You donCt +ant your ,hildren to be ,o+ardly< do youJ
There i* only one +ay to a,,o&2li*h that) $t i* by 2reventing your ,hildren
/ro& ,reating the land o/ terror in their o+n &ind)
Thailand i* in a *tate o/ building the nation) "ur ,ountry need* brave
2eo2le) !he doe* not need ,o+ardly 2eo2le be,au*e ,o+ardly 2eo2le are
+eak< inde,i*ive and they are not 2rogre**ive) $/ +e have a lot o/ ,o+ard*<
the ,ountry +ill &ove in a bad +ay) $ +ould like to a*k you to hel2 build
our nation to be,o&e *trong) Planting ,ourage to do the right thing in
the &ind o/ the ,hildren ,an do thi*)
There &u*t be the ti&e +hen your ,hildren re,eived kno+ledge about
the gho*t* /ro& *tu2id 2eo2le< +ho believed in /ooli*h thing*) When
you kno+ about it< do not *it *till) And donCt think /or a &inute that
it +a* a &inor detail) EF2lain to your ,hildren and &ake the& under*tand
that the *torie* they heard +ere &eant 1u*t /or /un and not true
*torie*) The real gho*t* do not eFi*t) They eFi*t only in /i,tion) $/ there
+ere gho*t*< the /ather and the &other +ho have lived *o long &u*t have
*een a gho*t *o&e+here be/ore) !o&e o/ the &onk*< +ho u*ed to *tay in
5I
,e&eterie*< they ,on/ir&ed that they had never *een any o/ the&) DonCt
believe anything about the gho*t) You &u*t try talking to the ,hildren
about it) !o&eti&e* there +a* a loud noi*e in the hou*e) The ,hildren did
not under*tand and they +ere *,ared that it +a* a gho*t) Tell the& that<
it &ight have been a ge,ko or a rat running ba,k and /orth) !o&e ne+ly
built hou*e* have loud noi*e* o/ten) $/ you donCt kno+ you &ay even think
it i* a gho*t) But in /a,t< it i* the +ood eF2anding due to the heat and it
*hrink* due to the ,old< ,reating loud noi*e*)
,e&eterie*< they ,on/ir&ed that they had never *een any o/ the&) DonCt
believe anything about the gho*t) You &u*t try talking to the ,hildren
about it) !o&eti&e* there +a* a loud noi*e in the hou*e) The ,hildren did
not under*tand and they +ere *,ared that it +a* a gho*t) Tell the& that<
it &ight have been a ge,ko or a rat running ba,k and /orth) !o&e ne+ly
built hou*e* have loud noi*e* o/ten) $/ you donCt kno+ you &ay even think
it i* a gho*t) But in /a,t< it i* the +ood eF2anding due to the heat and it
*hrink* due to the ,old< ,reating loud noi*e*)
To a,t ,o+ardly to+ard* the thing* they *hould not i* bad /or the
,hildren) You &u*t try to 2revent or to eli&inate it ,o&2letely) But to
/ear and re*2e,t *o&e one i* a good thing) $t i* u*e/ul to the ,hildren) The
2arent* &u*t try to ob*erve the behaviour o/ the ,hildren at all ti&e* to
kno+ +hether they a,t ,o+ardly or they /ear and re*2e,t< and try to eli&inate
the ,o+ardi,e +hile 2ro&oting /ear and re*2e,t in the&) ;ear i* de/initely
a guideline in the develo2&ent o/ oneC* li/e) ;or eFa&2le< i/ they
/ear and re*2e,t their 2arent< they +ill be a/raid to do anything in violation
o/ their tea,hing) They +ill be obedient and ea*ily trained) They +ill
not be a 2roble& /or the /a&ily) They +ill not be a burden to the 2arent*)
When they gro+ u2 and go to *,hool< they +ill retain thi* habit and +ill
re*2e,t the tea,her* &aking it ea*y /or the& to i&2art their kno+ledge
and +i*do&) They +ill be,o&e good 2u2il*) When they be,o&e adult*<
55
they +ill re*2e,t the la+* o/ the land) They are good ,itiBen* o/ that ,ountry)
$/ they 1oin a religion< they +ill ,on/or& to the tea,hing o/ that religion
and be,o&e good religiou* /ollo+er*< +ho are u*e/ul to the nation
a* a +hole) All 2arent* *hould have *o&e guideline* in your heart) You
have ,hildren and you +ant the& to be good< to be 2rogre**ive and to be
tough &entally) When they gro+ u2 you +ant the& to be able to *tand
on their o+n t+o /eet) But +hatever +ill ha22en to the ,hildren< the 2arent*
are the one*< +ho have +ritten the *,ri2t* o/ their /uture li/e) $/ you
did it the right +ay your ,hildren +ill be good and /a&ou*) $/ you did it
the +rong +ay &any bad thing* +ill ha22en to the&) Do not ever allo+
any o/ your ,hildren to bla&e you later on that be,au*e their 2arent* did
not +arn the& they turned out the +ay they did) That *hould not ha22en
at all to you)
;or thi* ,ha2ter< you 1u*t have to re&e&ber a /e+ *i&2le guideline*)
))
Do not de,eive your ,hildren in any +ay< *ha2e or /or&)
=)
EF2lain the rea*on* to the ,hildren until they ,learly under*tand
the i**ue)
?)
DonCt ever allo+ your ,hildren to be +ith *tu2id 2eo2le< +ho tell
the& /ooli*h *torie*)
6)
$/ your ,hildren re,eived any in/or&ation< +hi,h +ill &ake the&
to a,t ,o+ardly< try to brain+a*h the& by telling the& the truth
about it)
9)
Never get tired o/ an*+ering the ,hildren< +ho a*k about little
thing*)
I)
DonCt talk about *,ary in,ident in the 2re*en,e o/ your ,hildren)
5)
Try to let the& *lee2 by the&*elve* +hen they have gro+n u2 a bit
*o they +ill be /ar a+ay /ro& adult*)
8)
You &u*t eF2lain ,learly about any ob1e,t or dra+ing< +hi,h look
*,ary to the ,hildren)
END "; PART "NE
58
L"-E Y"UR CH$LDREN
THE R$.HT WAY
PART $$
Love Your Children The Right Way
Part T+o
Ho+ to Corre,t !tubbornne** in Children
DEAR PARENT!<
P
P
LEA!E L$!TEN to &e again about thi* i&2ortant &atter) !everal day*
ago< a lady ,a&e to *ee &e at the te&2le) !he *aid *he had only one
*on but he +a* trouble /or her) $ a*ked her ho+) !he told &e that her *on
+a* very *tubborn) He did not li*ten to her at all and al+ay* a,ted a* he
2lea*ed) Any ti&e *he di*agreed +ith hi& there +ould be big trouble)
When he be,a&e angry he +ould break thing*< +hi,h +ere ,lo*e to hi&
at the ti&e) $ li*tened and ,ould not hel2 /eel 2ity on her and on that boy
a* +ell)
0other* al+ay* have 2roble&* +ith *tubborn ,hildren) $/ the ,hildren
,annot be ,ured< the *tubbornne** +ill be,o&e a bad habit) When
they gro+ u2 they &ay be,o&e hotheaded and ,ruel) $ kne+ another
boy) When he +a* young he +ould al+ay* be angry at *o&ething) When
he be,a&e angry he +ould hit hi* head again*t the +all every ti&e) The
2arent* had to hel2 ea,h other hold hi& and talk to hi& to ,al& hi&
do+n) A/ter a *hort ti&e< thi* /a&ily &oved a+ay) $ &et thi* boy again
+hen he gre+ u2 to be a ni,e young &an) He *ee&ed to have ,hanged
and be,a&e a de,ent ,ool%headed &an and not a Hui,k%te&2ered one any
&ore) $t +a* 2robably due to the /a,t that hi* 2arent* had ,orre,ted hi*
,ondition in ti&e) $ll%te&2ered ,hildren bring a great deal o/ hearta,he
into the /a&ily) We *hould look at thi* i**ue a* +ell)
"ne +ay to ,orre,t the *tubbornne** in ,hildren i* by i&2roving
the behaviour o/ other 2eo2le in the /a&ily) The /a,t o/ the &atter i* the
,hildren +ill not kno+ anger i/ +e do not tea,h the& to be angry)
The ,hildren +ill not kno+ *tubbornne** i/ +e donCt tea,h the& *tubbornne**)
The &i*take in ,a*e* like thi* i* u*ually that o/ the adult* &ore
than that o/ the ,hildren) The ,hildren are al+ay* inno,ent by nature)
They donCt kno+ ho+ to do evil thing* yet) $/ +e +ant to ,o&2are the&
8:
to an ob1e,t then they are like a 2ie,e o/ ,lean +hite ,loth) $t ha* not been
*tained by dirt) Nothing ha* ,onta&inated the +hite ,loth) $t i* the *a&e
/or the ,hildren) Their &ind* are *till ,ontrolled by nature) They have
only a /e+ need*) They al*o a,t in a dire,t +ay +ithout any tri,k* u2 their
*leeve*) We have a duty to bring u2 our ,hildren< but +e have not learned
to kno+ about their need*) ;or eFa&2le< they &ay be bu*y doing *o&ething
on their o+n and are having /un in their o+n little +ay) The adult*
do not under*tand +hat the ,hildren are doing and they do *o&ething
again*t their +i*he* be,au*e the adult* are only thinking about the&*elve*)
That &ake* the ,hildren angry but they donCt kno+ ho+ to 1u*ti/y
their a,tion) They donCt kno+ ho+ to tell +hat i* in*ide their &ind
*o they *ho+ their rea,tion by getting &ad) $/ the adult* /or,e the& &ore<
they +ill be,o&e angrier and the rea,tion +ill be a* *trong a* the a,tion
o/ the 2arent*) You +ill end u2 thinking that your ,hildren are *tubborn
and do not +ant to ,o&2ly +ith your ,o&&and)
Why donCt you try thinking about your*el/ /or a &inuteJ !u22o*e
you are en1oying your*el/ doing *o&ething and *o&e one interru2t*< you
2robably +ill be unha22y too) That kind o/ interru2tion i* the thing that
irritate* 2eo2le) The irritation< +hi,h o,,ur* /reHuently in the &ind o/
anybody< i* a *ure +ay to a,,u&ulate anger little by little) Eventually
that 2er*on +ill be ea*ily 2rovoked and be,o&e* angry%2rone) Any 2er*on
in anger doe* not kno+ oneC* *el/< doe* not kno+ rea*on* and doe* not
kno+ anybody) Li*tening to nobody i* a *ign o/ *tubbornne**) !o +e ,an
,on,lude that to ,ontradi,t the ,hildren o/ten +ill turn the& to be ea*ily
2rovoked and angry%2rone) The gro+n%u2* &u*t be very ,are/ul about
thi*) Both ,hildren and adult* love /reedo&) .ive /reedo& to the ,hildren
and donCt get involved +ith the& too &u,h) Thi* i* +hen the 2arent* are
u*ually +rong) They try to get involved too &u,h) They la,k under*tanding
about their ,hildren) We ,an ea*ily *ee in the /ollo+ing eFa&2le)
A little girl i* en1oying her*el/ 2laying +ith a ne+ toy) !he i* having
/un +ith it) An adult ,o&e* by and 2i,k* u2 the toy to take a look at it
+ithout a*king) The girl i* unha22y be,au*e *he +a* en1oying it) We interru2ted
her en1oy&ent all o/ a *udden) The girl i* unha22y and *ho+* her
re*ent&ent) When +e *ee that *he i* unha22y +e +ant to &ake her angry
8)
*eeing that it i* a /un thing to do /or the adult) But it i* no /un /or the little
girl) !he i* angry be,au*e *he i* un/airly treated) The adult a,tually
love* the girl and +anted to 2lay +ith her) But *he doe* not under*tand
the intention o/ the adult) The adult doe* not kno+ the /eeling o/ the girl)
!o the t+o donCt get along) The little girl i* at a di*advantage) !u,h a,tion
by the adult &ade her angry) When *he i* angry +e 2uni*h her and +e
bla&e her /or being a ,ry baby) Thi* i* a,tually the /ault o/ the adult)
We adult* *hould re&e&ber not to inter/ere +ith the ,hildrenC* bu*ine**
be/ore they have agreed to let u* get involved) ;or eFa&2le< i/ +e
+ant to take a look at their toy*) $n *tead o/ taking your liberty to look
at the toy*< you *hould ,o&2li&ent the& /ir*t and a,t like you +ant to
*ee the toy*) DDo you &ind letting &e *ee your toyJE They +ould *ay< D"/
,our*e not)E Then you ,an look at it< a* you *o de*ire) Thi* i* the right +ay
to do it and it +ill not hurt their /eeling*) $t +ill not anger the& a* +ell)
When the ,hildren are 2laying +ith their /riend* in a &ake believe
*ituation *u,h a* 2laying at *elling good*) You +ill *ee that they a,t a*
*eller* and buyer* +ith all kind* o/ thing* /or *ale) The buyer* are buying
and bargaining 1u*t like the +ay they have *een and re&e&bered) You
*ee the& you &ay /eel the love /or the& all o/ a *udden) The love in you
&ake* you do thing* +ithout any ,on*traint) You go to your ,hild and
ki** her +ith love) You thought that your ,hild +ould love it but you +ere
+rong) The thought o/ the ,hildren +ere *till +ith their +orld o/ &ake
believe) They are *eller* and buyer*) Ho+ ,ould you e&bra,e a *ellerJ
They &ay /eel that they +ill lo*e the &oney /ro& da&aged good*) They
are not ha22y and they &ay be angry and ,ry) Then you +ere &i*taken
again /or thinking that your ,hildren +ere too *en*itive and they get &ad
all the ti&e) $t +a* you +ho +ere at /ault to inter/ere +ith their bu*ine**
needle**ly) Re&e&ber al+ay* not to inter/ere +ith the ,hildren +hen
they are having /un 2laying) A* a &atter o/ /a,t< you *hould be thank/ul
that they are not bothering you and leave you to do your +ork by 2laying
like that)
"n *o&e o,,a*ion*< your ,hildren +ere intere*ted in *o&ething) They
+ere 2aying /ull attention to that *o &u,h that they /orgot all other thing*)
They +ere ,on,entrating on that 2arti,ular thing and you +anted the& to
8=
do *o&ething /or you or you +anted the& to ,o&e to you to do an errand)
You ,alled the& on,e< you ,alled the& t+i,e and they *till did not &ove)
You *tarted to /eel angry and *aid< DWhat kind o/ a *on your are) $ ,alled
you t+i,e and you did not ,o&e to &e)E $/ you be,a&e angry ea*ily< you
&ight beat your ,hildren and they +ould get hurt in vain be,au*e here
again the adult* +ere +rong) Plea*e under*tand that the &ind o/ the ,hildren
,an ,on,entrate &ore ea*ily than that o/ the adult*) When they are
doing *o&ething< they ,annot hear anybody ,alling the& at all) DonCt be
angry +ith the&) Be angry +ith your *el/ /or la,king an in*ight to do the
2ro2er thing) $/ you +ant to talk to the ,hildren< look and *ee +hat they
are doing /ir*t) $/ there i* no real need< do not try to *e2arate the& /ro&
the intere*t they have in +hatever they are doing) When you need to a*k
the& to do *o&ething< a22roa,h the& and dra+ their attention /ro&
their Ta,tivity to you) Then you &ay a*k the& to do +hatever you +ant
the& to do) Your ,hildren +ill under*tand and their /eeling* +ill not be
hurt a* +ell) The relation*hi2 *hould i&2rove thi* +ay)
!o&e ,hildren like to do thing* a* they 2lea*e) When they do anything
like that it doe* not &ean that they are 2retending but they have
not under*tood the right and +rong in thi* +orld) They 1u*t do it be,au*e
they are naive) The adult* &ay /eel /ru*trated by thi* kind o/ behaviour
and +ill be o//ended by it be,au*e they think the ,hildren are *o naughty)
!o&eti&e* you +ill /orbid the& to do thing* by *aying< D!to2R DonCtR
Co&e hereR Thi* boy i* *o naughtyRE To do that i* totally +rong) Word*
like that ,o&e /ro& a de2re**ed &ind) A de2re**ed 2er*on ha* a *ad /a,e
and the a,tion i* gro** due to the de2re**ed &ind) You are *ho+ing a
bad i&age o/ your*el/ to your ,hildren) They &ay re&e&ber thi* i&age
and do the *a&e thing to you later on) Be*ide*< your a,tion like that &ay
2rovoke the ,hildren) $t i* o/ no u*e to you and to the ,hildren +hen you
relea*e a 2oi*onou* rage in your &ind) Plea*e re/rain /ro& doing anything
like that) $/ you *ee your ,hildren doing i&2ro2er or bad thing*<
tell the& ni,ely !ho+ the& your love /ir*t then talk in a +ay to &ake
the& under*tand) $n general< the ,hildren tend to be good to *tart +ith)
Try to *u22ort the&) But *o&e 2arent* love to ,o&2li&ent the ,hildren
and *2oil the& un+ittingly) ;or eFa&2le< there are gue*t* in the hou*e)
8?
Be,au*e you never taught your ,hildren be/ore or be,au*e your ,hildren
*tay ,lo*e to you all the ti&e< and the ,hildren ,an never *tay 2ut like 2u22et*<
+hile you are en1oying your*el/ talking to the gue*t*< the ,hildren
*tart doing their o+n thing*) You &ay tell your gue*t* that< D"hR Thi*
little guy i* very naughty)E "r you &ay *ay< DThi* boy i* very good)E Thi*
kind o/ re&ark* &ay anger the ,hildren) They &ay think you +ant the&
to be that +ay) Thi* i* a no +in *ituation) !o it i* better not to *ay anything
at all about the&)
There are 2arent* +ho train their ,hildren to re,eive bribe*) ;or
eFa&2le< +hen the ,hildren are angry and ,rying< and &aking all kind*
o/ obnoFiou* ge*ture*< you are annoyed by the +ay they ,ry and do not
kno+ +hat to do to *to2 it *o you give the& a bribe) DBe Huiet< $ +ill take
you to a &ovie) Be Huiet< $ +ill give you *o&e ,ookie*)E The ,hildren are
ha22y that they +ill be going to a &ovieG they are ha22y that they +ill be
given a ,ookieG *o they *to2 ,rying and get +hatever they +ant) "r *o&e
o/ you &ay /orget the 2ro&i*e you have given to the ,hildren) The re*ult*
are t+o +ay*) $/ the ,hildren get a* 2ro&i*ed< they +ill have a bad habit
or +anting all the ti&e) $/ they donCt get a* 2ro&i*ed< they +ill think that
you donCt kee2 your 2ro&i*e) $t i* a no +in *ituation a* +ell) !o $ +ant to
re&ind you not to bribe your ,hildren Q they +ill be *2oiled) Thi* i*
1u*t like the *ituation +e have in Thailand +ith the 2eo2le taking bribe*
in thi* day and age) Thi* i* a *ha&e/ul thing< to *ay the lea*t)
$/ your ,hildren *tart being ea*ily 2rovoked) They get angry very o/ten)
You have to try to ,orre,t the habit) $/ you leave it like that too long< the
anger +ill *ti,k to the &ind o/ your ,hildren and it i* hard to get rid o/ it)
To ,orre,t thi* de2end* on the eFa&2le in the /a&ily< i)e) the 2arent*< the
nanny and other 2eo2le ,lo*e to the ,hildren) Everybody &u*t be ,are/ul
not to *ho+ anger /or the ,hildren to *ee) Do not argue in /ront o/ the ,hildren)
Thi* i* an i&2rove&ent on the 2art o/ the environ&ent in the /a&ily
/ir*t) Then try to /ind out the ,au*e o/ the anger o/ the ,hildren) Ho2e/ully
it i* *o&ething you ,an di*,over) U*ually it i* *o&ething in*ide your o+n
/a&ily) Try to learn about the need* o/ the ,hildren a* &u,h a* 2o**ible
in order to be able to ,o&2ly +ith their +i*he*) A* &entioned be/ore< to
,ontradi,t the ,hildren o/ten +ill &ake the ,hildren ea*ily 2rovoked) The
86
,hildren do not kno+ anger i/ the gro+n%u2* do not tea,h the& to be
angry) Thi* i* a ba*i, 2rin,i2le< +hi,h the gro+n%u2* &u*t re,ogniBe)
,hildren do not kno+ anger i/ the gro+n%u2* do not tea,h the& to be
angry) Thi* i* a ba*i, 2rin,i2le< +hi,h the gro+n%u2* &u*t re,ogniBe)
ing
and 2laying to a ,ertain degree) Allo+ the& to be alone or to have /un
+ith their /riend*) The adult* *hould not be involved +ith the& *o &u,h
but only to +at,h +hat i* going on) $t i* *o&ething like *o&e one +ho
kee2* a +at,h on an engine) When the engine i* running *&oothly< he
doe* not bother it any &ore eF,e2t li*tening to the noi*e to hear +hether
it i* running 2ro2erly) $t i* the *a&e /or adult* and ,hildren) $/ there are
no need*< donCt bother) $t i* the be*t +ay) But +henever they +ant u*
to get involved< you &u*t do it +ith a ,ool head and +ith loving kindne**
and ,o&2a**ion 1u*t to allo+ the& to *ee that +e are there to hel2
only) When you *ee that *o&ething +ill bring har& to the ,hildren< you
*hould do or *ay *o&ething to &ake the& under*tand that it i* not the
right thing /or the& to do) And you donCt like +hat you *ee) The ,hildren
+ill under*tand and +ill behave a,,ordingly) Re&e&ber al+ay* that'
Children +ill do a* the eFa&2le* they *ee o/ten) No &atter the
eFa&2le i* good or bad) .ro+n%u2* *hould behave +ell to *et good
eFa&2le /or the ,hildren) Whenever you are in a bad &ood< donCt go
near your ,hildren) A bad &ood ,an do anything i&2ro2er to your ,hildren)
Love and ,o&2a**ion are i&2ortant tool* to hel2 your ,hildren
be,o&e good 2er*on* by re,eiving good eFa&2le /ro& the 2arent*) You<
the 2arent*< *hould be 2roud to have a ,han,e to &ake *o&e one a really
good 2er*on) Your *tatu* and your 1ob are not a li&it< +hi,h 2revent you
/ro& doing the right thing /or your ,hildren) Plea*e turn your attention
&ore to your o//*2ring) They +ill brighten you u2 in doing their good
deed*) A 2arent i* a big &irror< +hi,h give* a re/le,tion /or your ,hildren
to *ee) Try to ,lean u2 the &irror and *ho+ a good i&age /or your ,hildren
to re&e&ber it /or a long ti&e)
Thailand need* good< +hole*o&e 2eo2le to hel2 develo2 our ,ountry)
All 2arent* have thi* honour) U2hold thi* honour o/ being good 2arent*
o/ your ,hildren /or their *ake and /or your beloved ,ountry)
89
!to2 Aealou*y +hen the Children are *till Young
!to2 Aealou*y +hen the Children are *till Young
"
"
NE "; THE TEACH$N.! o/ the Buddha *ay*
>arati loka
na*ika@) Aealou*y de*troy* the +orld) Thi* Buddhi*t 2roverb tell*
u* ho+ &u,h da&age 1ealou*y ,an do) When +e talk +e o/ten &i*u*e
the*e t+o +ord*< i)e) envy) We *ay< donCt envy hi&) $n /a,t it *hould have
been< donCt be 1ealou* o/ hi& but the +rong +ord +a* u*ed) Envy i&2lie*
a de*ire to 2o**e**) ;or eFa&2le +e *ay< $ a& enviou* o/ *o&e one) $t indi,ate*
a de*ire to 2o**e** the thing* that *o&e one ha*) $t i* di//erent /ro&
1ealou*y) Aealou*y it*el/ &ean* to be di*2lea*ed and di**ati*/ied +hile *eeing
the 2rogre** o/ the other*) Any ti&e you *ee *o&e one being *u,,e**/ul
or &oving u2< having /a&e and /ortune< you be,o&e 1ealou* and
unha22y< not +anting hi& or her to a,hieve tho*e thing*) You donCt +ant
to hear their na&e* or good thing* about the&) Thi* i* ,alled 1ealou*y) $t
i* a de/ile&ent +hi,h i/ o,,ur* in anyoneC* &ind +ill burn that 2er*onC*
&ind like being in a /ire all the ti&e) Aealou*y i* o22o*ite to >0udita@
&eaning to be 2lea*ed and *ati*/ied in the 2rogre** and +hole*o&ene**
o/ the other*) 0udita i* *o&ething to /ir& u2 a relation*hi2) But 1ealou*y
i* a de*troyer o/ all thing*) $t i* there/ore a devil a&ong &en)
$n regard to an e//e,t o/ kar&a ,o&&itted in the 2a*t< tho*e +ith
1ealou*y in their &ind +ill be lo+ in *tatu*) A/ter death they +ill go to
hell be,au*e o/ their 1ealou*y) All kind* o/ trouble* a&ong &en in the
+orld are 2artly due to 1ealou*y to a large degree) Tho*e +ith 1ealou*y
+ill be very 2o**e**ive in their &ind) They +ill nor&ally try to retain all
2o**e**ion* that they have to the&*elve*) They donCt +ant to *ee other
2eo2le going higher or having better thing* than they do) They o/ten try
to blo,k any advan,e&ent o/ other 2eo2le) $n regard to degrading oneC*
&ind< 1ealou*y i* very de*tru,tive) The 1ealou* one i* al+ay* troubled)
But the ob1e,t o/ 1ealou*y ha* nothing ha22en to hi& or her) HeO*he +ill
be able to eat and *lee2 +ell and ,o&/ortably) Tho*e +ho are 1ealou* do
not have *u,h thing* be,au*e their thought* are al+ay* negative) They are
al+ay* unha22y about everything ,on,erning the 2eo2le they donCt like)
8I
Aealou* 2er*on* are 2iti/ul) They *hould be treated &edi,ally to return
the& to nor&ality a* Hui,kly a* 2o**ible) Leaving the& like that< and
they +ill be totally *2oiled) When they be,o&e older they 2robably +ill
,ontinue to take advantage o/ the&*elve* and o/ the other*) They &ay be
2ut in 1ail or &urdered be,au*e o/ their 1ealou*y) Aealou*ly i* there/ore a
real danger) Anybody +ith thi* kind o/ 2*y,ho2athi, behaviour &u*t try
to de*troy it and do not allo+ it to gro+ in your &ind)
Aealou* 2er*on* are 2iti/ul) They *hould be treated &edi,ally to return
the& to nor&ality a* Hui,kly a* 2o**ible) Leaving the& like that< and
they +ill be totally *2oiled) When they be,o&e older they 2robably +ill
,ontinue to take advantage o/ the&*elve* and o/ the other*) They &ay be
2ut in 1ail or &urdered be,au*e o/ their 1ealou*y) Aealou*ly i* there/ore a
real danger) Anybody +ith thi* kind o/ 2*y,ho2athi, behaviour &u*t try
to de*troy it and do not allo+ it to gro+ in your &ind)
*ion)
$ +anted you to *ee the har&/ul e//e,t o/ 1ealou*y /ir*t and ho+ dangerou*
it ,ould be) A/ter you have *een it then you ,an 2revent it /ro&
ha22ening)
There +a* a Bhra&in War *tory ,alled DParatayutE >$ndian War@) $t
+a* a,tually a re*ult o/ 1ealou*y) Aealou*y de*troyed a huge nu&ber o/ the
2eo2le and 2ro2erty) $/ +e read the hi*tory o/ the ,ountrie* o/ the +orld
+e +ill /ind that 1ealou*y +a* al+ay* the devil behind the ,urtain ,reating
all kind* o/ havo,) !o $ a& talking to you about it /ir*t to e&2ha*iBe
to you that it i* an ene&y o/ 2ea,e< tranHuillity and 2rogre** o/ a *o,iety)
$t ,reate* ,o&2etition in an un*avoury &anner) Aealou*y i* a ,ondition
+e ,an ,orre,t and i&2rove u2on) We ,an al*o 2revent it /ro& ha22ening
i/ +e &ake u2 our &ind to do it) $ +ould like to a*k all 2arent*
to re,ogniBe it be,au*e you are an i&2ortant /a,tor< +hi,h ,ontribute to
the ,hildren being 1ealou*)
While $ +a* a young boy living at a te&2le a* a te&2le boy< there +ere
about /orty o/ u*) We attended a *e,ondary *,hool but +e had to *tay at
the te&2le) When &any 2eo2le lived together in one 2la,e bad thing*
tend to ha22en) "ne o/ the boy*< +ho +a* +eak and had *o&e kind o/
di*ea*e* in hi* body< ,ould not do any hard +ork) The &onk in ,harge o/
the te&2le boy* 2aid a lot o/ *2e,ial attention to hi&) He *a+ that the
boy +a* not nor&al) He did not have to do the *a&e kind o/ +ork a* the
other*) But +hen *o&ething +ere given to the ,hildren< he +a* al+ay*
given &ore) !o he be,a&e a /o,al 2oint and eventually it turned out to
85
be a *evere ,a*e o/ 1ealou*y) $t +a* *o bad that one day the 1ealou* boy
u*ed a 2retty big 2ie,e o/ /ire +ood to hit the +eak boy and in1ured hi&
Huite *eriou*ly) He +a* o/ ,our*e 2uni*hed /or the &i*take) But the *tory
*ho+ed ho+ unbalan,ed love ,ould ,reate 1ealou*y a&ong one another)
be a *evere ,a*e o/ 1ealou*y) $t +a* *o bad that one day the 1ealou* boy
u*ed a 2retty big 2ie,e o/ /ire +ood to hit the +eak boy and in1ured hi&
Huite *eriou*ly) He +a* o/ ,our*e 2uni*hed /or the &i*take) But the *tory
*ho+ed ho+ unbalan,ed love ,ould ,reate 1ealou*y a&ong one another)
nate*<
&u*t be very ,are/ul) When the leader ha* 2re1udi,e< the /ire o/
1ealou*y +ill burn hi& alive) The love a&ong tho*e under hi* leader*hi2
+ill not be *&ooth any &ore and da&age +ill be done later on) Why did
Angali&an have to be,o&e a banditJ Be,au*e the tea,her gave hi& &u,h
&ore love than to the other di*,i2le*) They *a+ it and they +ere 1ealou*
o/ hi& and /ound a +ay to de*troy hi&) Eventually< Angali&an had to
be,o&e a bandit be,au*e o/ the tea,herC* /ault) Every adult *hould &ain
tain a balan,e in love at all ti&e*) No 2re1udi,e i* the be*t 2oli,y)
$ &et thi* gentle&an< +ho ,ondu,ted hi&*el/ a,,ording to the tea,hing*
o/ the Buddha) He +a* hone*t and al+ay* a,ted *en*ibly) He had
*everal ,hildren) He brought u2 hi* ,hildren the right +ay) ;or eFa&2le<
the ,lothing o/ hi* ,hildren +ere &ade in the *a&e +ayG the ne,kla,e*
+ere the *a&eG and o/ the *a&e +eight) The ring* +ere al*o o/ the
*a&e *tyle and the *a&e de*ign< +hi,h turned out to be the /a&ily ring*)
The 2o,ket &oney /or *,hool +a* o/ the *a&e a&ount) Whatever they
+ant to do +ith the &oney< he let the& &anage the&*elve*) The ti&e*
to go to bed and to eat +ere all the *a&e) $/ they +ant to go to a &ovie
or to go out< they +ill go together +ith hi& eF,e2t tho*e +ho +ant to
*tay ho&e) Everyone in the /a&ily lived a ha22y li/e and loved their 2arent*
very &u,h) They lived ha22ily al+ay*) Thi* i* an eFa&2le o/ a /a&ily<
+hi,h doe* not ,reate any thought o/ 1ealou*y in the &ind o/ the ,hildren)
When they never eF2erien,ed 1ealou*y +hen they +ere young< they gre+
u2 and have no un+hole*o&e e&otion* to *2oil the&) Thi* i* another
thing that the 2arent* have to be e*2e,ially ,are/ul) DonCt ever do anything
to ,reate 1ealou*y in the &ind o/ the ,hildren)
88
!o&e 2arent* +ant to *ee the ,hildren a,t in *o&e *trange +ay*) They
+ant to *ee the ,hildren ,ry be,au*e o/ the&) ;or eFa&2le< they 2lay/ully
/ool the& that< D0o& doe* not love you) 0o& love* your *i*ter) You are
not &y daughter) "nly your *i*ter i* &y daughter)E With the*e +ord*<
*he 2retend* not to 2ay attention to the big *i*ter) !he goe* to the little
one and ki**e* her and rai*e* her ,lo*e to her ,he*t) The big daughter
/eel* hurt and *addened be,au*e the &other doe* not love her< *he doe*
not like her) The*e are rea,tion* in her heart) !he think* that the little
one ha* taken a+ay her &otherC* love) Then *he /eel* the hatred /or her
*i*ter and 2erha2* to the 2oint o/ +anting to de*troy her) $t +a* +rong
/or the &other to 2retend like that) Even though in /a,t they 1u*t +anted
to tea*e her) But *he did not under*tand the &eaning o/ the adult*< +ho
+anted to be 2lay/ul) !he thought it +a* real and got &ad and it 2enaliBed
her &ind later on) $t +a* really a bad thing to do)
When the 2arent* have *everal ,hildren< they *hould 2ay attention
to ea,h o/ the& ,on*i*tently and in the *a&e &anner) DonCt do thi* +ay
to one ,hild and do another +ay to another ,hild) $t i* detri&ental to
the &ind o/ the ,hildren and later on it +ill turn to 1ealou*y) Your a,tion
in any *ha2e or /or&< +hi,h +ill bring re*ent&ent and the lo** o/ *el/%
e*tee&< &u*t not be taken) You &u*t be e*2e,ially ,are/ul be,au*e the
lo** o/ *el/%e*tee& +ill bring about 1ealou*y) DonCt do anything< +hi,h
*ee&* like /un but ,reate* re*ent&ent in the &ind o/ your ,hildren)
The rea,tion< +hi,h i* a re*ult o/ that event< +ill o,,ur later on) Even
though they are *till little< they have their little heart that ,an think a*
+ell) They al*o have /eeling* about gain and lo** in &u,h the *a&e +ay
a* adult*)
Children +ho have 1ealou*y in their &ind +ill al*o be angry and
hate/ul to the 2eo2le +ho &ake the& re*ent/ul) They &ay be angry +ith
the /ather< the &other< and the brother* and *i*ter*< +ho are involved in
,reating thi* e&otion in the&)
All o/ you kno+ very +ell the danger o/ anger and hatred) There i*
one &ore thing about the lo** o/ *el/%e*tee&) $t i* an ob*tru,tion to any
advan,e&ent in their live*) The ,hildren be,o&e ti&id and kee2 to the&*elve*)
They donCt +ant to a**o,iate +ith anybody) They donCt +ant to
84
&eet +ith their /riend* be,au*e they la,k +ill 2o+er) They /eel nobody
love* the&G nobody 2ay* attention to the& and they ,annot ,o&2ete
+ith anybody) Then they be,o&e di**ati*/ied and &ay /o,u* their attention
to doing bad thing* in order to dra+ the attention o/ other 2eo2le to
the& 1u*t a little) There +ere &any bad ne+* about ,hildren) ;or eFa&2le
an eight%year%old boy /atally in1ured hi* younger brother &ainly be,au*e
o/ 1ealou*y) ;or thi* rea*on< the 2arent* &u*t ,on*ider thi* i**ue very
i&2ortant and try to /ind a *olution to 2revent thi* *y&2to& /ro& ha22ening
in the &ind o/ the ,hildren) They &u*t al*o /ind a +ay to in*till
&utual ad&iration< love and kindne** to+ard* one another) Thi* ,an be
done by tea,hing the ,hildren to love their /riend*< to love and have ,o&2a**ion
/or their younger *ibling* by tea,hing the& to *hare the toy* and
the /ood +ith their /riend* and tho*e younger than they) Thi* +ill ,reate
the /eeling o/ /riend*hi2 /ro& giving a* a tea,hing o/ the Buddha< +hi,h
*ay*< D.iving 2ro&ote* /riend*hi2)E
The ,hildren +ho re,eived gi/t /ro& their /riend* +ould love the&
and be /riendly +ith one another) $/ your ,hildren have younger *ibling*<
you *hould allo+ the& to hel2 the younger one*< /or eFa&2le< by baby *itting
/or you) Thi* +ay they +ill have a ,han,e to ,o&e ,lo*e and e&bra,e
the& to *ho+ their love) You *hould eF2lain to the& that the young
one love* the& and they *hould love hi& or her too) "lder *ibling and
younger one are like the right ar& and the le/t ar&< +hi,h hel2* ea,h
other all the ti&e) $/ you *ee the older one do *o&ething that *ho+*
re*ent&ent to+ard* the younger one< you *hould intervene i&&ediately)
You &u*t tell the& or &ake the& under*tand that doing *u,h and *u,h i*
not good) Never look at 1ealou*y a&ong *ibling* a* being ,ute) ;or eFa&2le<
i/ the older one 2retended to break a leg o/ the younger one or he +a*
a,ting like he +a* biting the little one be,au*e he +a* ,hildi*hly 1ealou*<
donCt ever think that it +a* a&u*ing or ,ute) A behaviour like that i* a
beginning o/ a bad *ituation in the /uture) $/ your ,hildren *ho+ any *ign
o/ 1ealou*y to any o/ the *ibling* you &u*t +arn the& right a+ay) $/ they
+ere having /un and you +anted to 1oin in the /un you &u*t be eFtra ,are/ul
not to &ake the& 1ealou*) You *hould not ,o&2li&ent a ,hild +hen
he or *he get* &ad at *o&ething) $t +ill ,reate a negative e&otion in the
4:
,hild +ho i* already 1ealou* to be even &ore 1ealou*) Da&age* +ill be
,o&2ounded needle**ly)
,hild +ho i* already 1ealou* to be even &ore 1ealou*) Da&age* +ill be
,o&2ounded needle**ly)
ent*
had no idea to ,orre,t the *ituation) And they ,ould not /ind a +ay
to get rid o/ it /ro& the &ind o/ the ,hildren< +hen they be,o&e adult*<
they +ill have &ore 1ealou*y in the& a,,ording to their age and environ&ent)
$t i* di//i,ult to ,urtail 1ealou*y) A big /ire i* al+ay* harder to
be eFtingui*hed than a *&all one) The ,hildren +ho have gro+n u2 +ith
1ealou*y do not u*ually +ant to *ee anybody look better than they do) $/
they *ee anybody re,eive better re*ult< they +ould try to de*troy or to
di*,redit the&< or to hurt the& *o&e ho+) The re*ult +ould be that they
,ould not +ork +ell +ith anybody) They ,annot be,o&e the big bo**e*)
Ho+ ,an they be good i/ they never allo+ anybody to be goodJ Their
+ork +ill al*o not 2rogre** be,au*e there are al+ay* ob*ta,le*) Nobody
+ant* to have anything to do +ith it be,au*e they kno+ that they +ould
not get the ,redit they de*erve) ;inally< their o+n 2eo2le< +ho never got
any ,redit /ro& the +ork they 2er/or&ed< +ould de*troy the&) They
be,o&e bad a22le* a&ong their o+n grou2)
There i* no 1u*ti,e in the &ind o/ a 1ealou* 2er*on) They al*o think
that nobody i* /air to the&) Aealou* 2eo2le do not 2o**e** a &ind that i*
,lean and they are not *ati*/ied +ith the good ne+* o/ the other*) There
i* al+ay* trouble /or the&*elve* and the other*) The /uture o/ the 1ealou*
2eo2le i* very ob*,ure indeed) Thi* *in i* a re*ult o/ the 2arent* not 2aying
attention to ,orre,t the bad habit o/ the ,hildren or *o&eti&e* they
even en,ouraged the ,hildren to have *u,h habit) $t i* very har&/ul) !o
you *hould be eFtra ,are/ul not to allo+ any a,tion to ,reate 1ealou*y in
the &ind o/ your ,hildren)
Let it be kno+n that the +orld need* a virtue in the 2eo2le< +ho en1oy
*eeing goodne** o/ other 2eo2le and hel2ing ea,h other doing good deed*
/or the ,o&&unity) Thailand need* a *ati*/a,tion in the good deed* o/
the other* and /or everybody to hel2 our nation go /or+ard in the *a&e
dire,tion a* the Buddha Dha&&a) Thi* duty i* undeniably that o/ the
2arent*)
4)
Why Did Your Child Be,o&e a Cri&inal All o/ a !uddenJ
DEAR PARENT!<
!
!
" 0ANY T$0E! $ have had the o22ortunitie* to talk to the in&ate*
in the 2ri*on* in *everal 2rovin,e*) $ +a* there to try to rehabilitate
the in&ate*) $ &et and talked to &any o/ the&) Tho*e that a//e,ted &e
the &o*t +ere young boy* around )=%)9 year* old in tho*e 2ri*on*) $ a*ked
the& +hat they did to get arre*ted) They *aid it +a* *o&ething to do
+ith the/t or a**ault and battery ,o&&itted on their young /riend*) But
&ore than anything el*e +a* the/t) $ a*ked the& again +hether they had
any 2arent) They *aid they did) Were they 2oorJ $ a*ked and +a* told
that they +ere not that 2oor) They lived in a hou*e and ate de,ent &eal*
every day and never *tarved) But +hy did that boy be,o&e a ,ri&inalJ $/
+e donCt dig dee2ly enough to kno+ o/ the ,au*e* +e +ould think it +a*
due to 2overty) $t i* true that 2overty +a* one o/ the /a,tor* &aking ,ri&inal*
out o/ 2eo2le) But +e ,annot think that there +a* only one ,au*e)
There +ere &any other ,au*e* a* +ell)
!o&e 2arent* are an e**ential 2art in training their ,hildren to
be,o&e a thie/ +ithout realiBing it) $t i* true that every 2arent love* their
,hildren and they +ant to tea,h the& to be,o&e good< /a&ou* 2eo2le)
But *o&e o/ the& are &i*taken about being good and /a&ou*) ;or eFa&2le<
they believe that i/ their ,hildren are good and not a/raid o/ anybodyG
they are /ighter* and ,an do anything< then that i* really good) That i* in
/a,t +rong thinking) $/ it o,,ur* in any 2arent*< the *urna&e o/ that /a&ily
+ill *urely going do+n hill) Plea*e do not be &i*taken like that)
We Thai* are Buddhi*t*) A /unda&ental 2rin,i2le o/ Buddhi*& i*
the ;ive Pre,e2t*'
Q
Tea,h u* not to kill any ani&al* be,au*e killing i* an a,t o/ ,ruelty
and it *ho+* no &er,y in our heart)
Q
Tea,h u* not to *teal) $t i* a *ign o/ *o&e one< +ho ha* no re*2e,t
/or the right* in o+ner*hi2 o/ other 2eo2le)
Q
Tea,h u* not to ,o&&it adultery< an a,t +hi,h *ho+* no ,ontrol
over oneC* *el/)
4=
Q
Q
Q
La*tly< they tea,h u* not to drink< *&oke< and take intoFi,ant*<
+hi,h are the ,au*e* o/ re,kle**ne**)
The ;ive Pre,e2t* *hould be in*tilled in the &ind o/ the ,hildren by the
2arent*) They *hould /ollo+ the& *in,e ,hildhood) The ;ive Pre,e2t*
+ill hel2 the ,hildren to be,o&e good 2eo2le in the /uture)
A di*,i2le o/ &ine< a lady< told &e that one o/ her daughter* +a* light
+ith her /inger* and her &oney di*a22eared o/ten) !he got ,aught and
+a* 2uni*hed by hitting her at the hand to re/or& her) But it did not
*ee& to +ork) When *he +a* not ,are/ul the &oney +ould be taken again
and again) !he did not kno+ +hat to do any &ore) !he ,a&e to &e to
*ee i/ $ ,ould hel2 her) $ a*ked her about the routine o/ the girlC* daily li/e<
*u,h a*< +hether *he liked to eat all the ti&eG or +hether *he *2ent a lot
o/ &oney and +hether *he had /riend* +ho*e /a&ily +a* better o// and
+ho re,eived &ore 2o,ket &oney /ro& their 2arent*) All o/ tho*e /a,t*
+ere ,ondu,ive to bad behaviour* in ,hildren) And the an*+er* +ere in
the a//ir&ative in all o/ the&) There/ore a *olution &u*t be /ound)
$n regard to the bad eating habit< it +a* that +ay in thi* /a&ily) The
&other +a* the one +ho trained the girl that +ay) The /a&ily &u*t
i&2rove their eating routine by not allo+ing the &outh to be in ,ontrol
all the ti&e or there +ould be trouble ahead) They &u*t tell the ,hildren
not to eat +henever they 2lea*ed be,au*e they +ould have a *to&a,h
u2*et< or bad teeth) Be*ide* it ,o*t &oney) And &o*t o/ all the ,hildren
+ould be *2oiled) They *hould learn to eat only at &eal ti&e* and
eat together at the *a&e ti&e) Whatever they had they *hould *hare
a&ong the& in *&all 2ortion*) Every ti&e the ,hildren had the &oney
to go *o&e+here< they *2ent all o/ it) $t *ho+ed that the ,hildren had no
*el/%,ontrol over their *2ending habit) The &other *hould train her ho+
to *ave and not to *2end *o &u,h)
;or eFa&2le< i/ *he gave her one baht< *he *hould a*k her to *ave at
lea*t =9 *atang) The a&ount to be *aved *hould be a* &u,h a* 2o**ible)
4?
There i* a 2roverb< DHave one Huarter< &ake it one baht< But donCt &i**
+hatever you really needG earn little< *2end le**G *2end too &u,h and
trouble +ill ,o&e) Thi* *hould be e&2ha*iBed to the ,hildren ti&e and
ti&e again)
There i* a 2roverb< DHave one Huarter< &ake it one baht< But donCt &i**
+hatever you really needG earn little< *2end le**G *2end too &u,h and
trouble +ill ,o&e) Thi* *hould be e&2ha*iBed to the ,hildren ti&e and
ti&e again)
dren
*o they under*tand their real *ituation) Tell the& that to *2end too
&u,h &oney i* never good /or the /uture) A good 2er*on &u*t kno+
ho+ to *ave and not to *2end all he or *he ha*) A* an eFa&2le< +hite
ant* ,olle,t /ood /or their young) White ant* build ant hill by ,olle,ting
earth little by little until it be,o&e* a big ant hill) Bee* ,olle,t ne,tar
/ro& 2ollen little by little until it be,o&e* a huge beehive) Everything i*
/ro& *aving or a,,u&ulating) Children +ill under*tand and *ee that to
be eFtravagant i* not right) Thi* i* ho+ to ,orre,t on the ,hildrenC* *ide)
"n the adult*C *ide< +e have to ,orre,t our*elve* a* +ell be,au*e adult*
2ay a &a1or role in ,reating habit* both good and bad /or the ,hildren)
Your ,hild had light /inger*) He took the &oney and *2ent it) $n /a,t he
did that be,au*e he &i*under*tood the *ituation) He thought that the
&oney belonged to hi* /ather and &other) !o being their *on< he *hould
have the right to take it +ithout telling the&) But doing *o i* a beginning
o/ evil thing* in the /uture) The adult* *hould not allo+ it to 2a** +ithout
doing anything) They &u*t tell the boy that a good 2er*on +ould a*k /or
2er&i**ion /ro& the o+ner +hen he or *he +anted *o&ething) All the
thing* in thi* hou*e belonged to hi* 2arent*) He *hould have been told
in advan,e +hi,h *tu// ,an be taken and +hi,h ,annot be taken< +ithout
getting 2er&i**ion /ir*t) Nor&ally< ,hildren do not +ant to do bad
thing*)
They donCt +ant to ,ontradi,t the 2arent*) They +ill under*tand i/
they hear the +ord* that the 2arent* +ill not love the& i/ they are bad) !o
46
it i* a good idea to tell the& ,learly) $t i* a good 2reventive &ea*ure) But
,hildren by nature ,annot totally ,ontrol the&*elve*) They &ay be,o&e
re,kle** and &ake &i*take i/ there are te&2tation)
it i* a good idea to tell the& ,learly) $t i* a good 2reventive &ea*ure) But
,hildren by nature ,annot totally ,ontrol the&*elve*) They &ay be,o&e
re,kle** and &ake &i*take i/ there are te&2tation)
i)e) do not 2la,e thing* the ,hildren +ant ,lo*e to their hand*) Anything
,lo*e to oneC* hand* i* ea*y to be taken) The ,hildren &ay de,ide to take
it any ti&e they /eel like doing it) To 2ut a+ay the &oney in a dra+er or
to 2ut it under a &attre** i* very ri*ky) The ,hildren *ee the &oney and
&ay take it any ti&e) Then it i* hard to bla&e the ,hildren that they are
Hui,k +ith their hand* and have lar,eny at heart) The /ault lie* in the
adult /ir*t< really) And the adult* &u*t be 2arti,ularly ,are/ul about thi*)
Your ,arele**ne** a,tually 2rodu,ed a thie/ in your o+n hou*e) !o you
*hould re&e&ber thi*' &oney i* a te&2tation) Do not kee2 it to be *een
by the other*) Con,eal it really +ell then there i* no danger)
A/ter you have done all you ,an to 2revent the in,ident but your ,hildren
*till do the *a&e thing) You &u*t try to look /urther /or an eF2lanation
and to /ind a *olution until your ,hildren behave 2ro2erly and do not
,o&&it any &ore *tealing) Ho+ever< there i* one &ore thing that your
have to be ,are/ul< i)e) in general ,hildren +ill al+ay* +ant to have< +ant
to be< or +ant to take anything their /riend* 2o**e**) The 2arent* &u*t
be +at,h/ul o/ the behaviour o/ your ,hildren) $/ they *ee& to ,hange in
a bad +ay< *tart the ,oun*elling right a+ay +ithout any delay) The evil in
oneC* &ind i* al+ay* gro+ing Hui,kly) !o&eti&e* the ,hildren &ay +ant
a toy their /riend* have but they donCt have the &oney to buy it) When
the urge i* *trong enough they &ay bring that toy ho&e) To 2revent thi*
kind o/ in,ident< i/ the 2arent* ,an a//ord it< they *hould give the ,hildren
*o&e toy*) DonCt let the e&otion o/ the ,hildren go +ild) "r they
,an tell the& to let the 2arent* kno+ i/ they +ant *o&ething) $/ 2o**ible<
arrange /or the& to have the toy) $/ you think it i* not ne,e**ary you
*hould eF2lain to the& ho+ unne,e**ary it i*) DonCt allo+ the ,hildren
to think /or the&*elve*) They are not old enough to have the ability to
kno+ +hat i* right /or the&)
$/ your ,hildren already go to *,hool< you *hould *2end the ti&e
,he,king their belonging* and their toy* in order to kno+ +hat they u*u
49
ally have and +hat are the ne+ thing*) Ho+ did they get the&J Who
gave it to the&J DonCt ever allo+ the& to bring anything ho&e +ithout
an eF2lanation) Thi* i* one +ay to 2revent the bad habit)
ally have and +hat are the ne+ thing*) Ho+ did they get the&J Who
gave it to the&J DonCt ever allo+ the& to bring anything ho&e +ithout
an eF2lanation) Thi* i* one +ay to 2revent the bad habit)
Children +ho have not been trained to re*2e,t the right* o/ o+ner*hi2
o/ the other* o/ten bring *o&ething ho&e +hen they /eel like doing it)
!u22o*e your ,hild +ent out and +alked 2a*t a vegetable garden) He *a+
*tring bean*< &elon*< or 2u&2kin*< +hi,h &ay be &ade into /ood) He
&ay 2i,k the& and take the& ho&e) At ho&e the 2arent* did not take
any a,tion) They did not a*k +here they ,a&e /ro&G +ho gave the& to
hi&) They all 1oined in eating the& gladly) The boy &u*t have thought
hi* a,tion +a* the right thing to do be,au*e he did not *ee any negative
rea,tion /ro& the 2arent*) All *ee&ed to be eating the& ha22ily) The boy
&u*t have /elt good in hi* a,tion be,au*e he thought he +a* able to &ake
hi* 2arent* 2roud and ha22y) Hi* thought +a* a re*ult o/ hi* love /or the
2arent* and a de*ire to &ake the& ha22y) But it al*o had &ade a 2er*on
into a thie/) !o $ +ant to re&ind you< +ho are re*2on*ible /or the li/e o/
your ,hildren to be a+are o/ thi* /a,t and do not be re,kle** about thi*
*&all &atter) Whenever you *ee your ,hildren do *o&ething i&2ro2erly<
e)g) they +ent out and have *o&ething +hen they ,o&e ho&e< you &u*t
a*k about it right a+ay) But do not *hout or threaten the& like you are
angry) Talk to the& ni,ely *ho+ing your love and ,o&2a**ion /or the&
and you +ill /ind out the +hole truth) A/ter you have /ound out the truth
and i/ the di*tan,e +a* not *o /ar and your ,hildren ,an +alk ba,k< you
*hould go +ith the& to *ee the o+ner o/ that vegetable to ,on/e** and to
return the vegetable to the o+ner) $/ the o+ner gave it to you then you
,ould a,,e2t and *hould thank hi& /or it) Thi* i* the right thing to do) $t
+ill al*o ,reate *y&2athy bet+een ea,h other)
$/ the o+ner o/ the vegetable* lived /ar a+ay and it +a* not 2ra,ti,al
to return the& or to have your ,hildren a2ologiBe to hi&< tell the ,hildren
to thro+ the& a+ay ,o&2letely) DonCt ever eat the&) You &u*t
al*o &ake the& under*tand that anything taken by *tealing< are *in/ul)
Any *in/ul ite&* are not *uitable /or ,on*u&2tion) Whoever eat* *in
4I
/ul /ood +ill be *in/ul to the end) !in/ul 2eo2le are not a,,e2ted by anybody)
DYou are &y *on *o you 2lea*e do not be a *inner)E A/ter you have
talked to your ,hildren< thro+ the ite&* a+ay) Thi* i* a rea*onable +ay
and it doe* not 2ro&ote un+hole*o&e thought in your little one*) You
,an be ,on*idered doing a virtuou* a,t) Thi* virtue +ill hel2 2rote,t your
,hildren /ro& /alling vi,ti& to *in/ul te&2tation in the /uture)
$n the old day*< +e +ere a,,u*to&ed to being ,lo*e together) We
*hared +hat +e ate< and +hatever +e had ,ould be taken +ithout /or&al
2er&i**ion) But in the 2re*ent ti&e< +e &u*t u*e our di*,retion to do it
at 2ro2er ti&e and 2ro2er 2la,e and not all the ti&e) The 2eo2le no+aday*
donCt really kno+ that enough i* enough) They tend to overdo thing*
and o/ten ti&e* the a,tion* +ill o//end their /riend*) !o you really have
to be ab*olutely *ure that you are ,lo*e to ea,h other and i/ you take hi*
or her 2ro2erty it +ill be all right) They +ill not be angry or o//ended)
$/ you are not *ure< do not ever take it /or granted) Any ite&* that are
2ubli, 2ro2erty< e)g) /lo+er* in a 2ubli, 2ark< a 2ond or a bridge< are the
trea*ure* that &u*t be 2re*erved) The 2arent &u*t tea,h their ,hildren
to hel2 take ,are o/ tho*e thing*) Do not allo+ the& to u*e their hand*
2i,king thing* rando&ly or to de*troy thing* ,arele**ly)
Train your ,hildren to have a ,on*tru,tive habitG to 2re*erve +hat
*hould be 2re*erved and to re*2e,t the o+ner*hi2 o/ other 2eo2le) You
+ill be rightly de*erved to be ,alled a ,reator o/ good 2eo2le< and a builder
o/ our nation) And you ,an ,ertainly be 2roud o/ your a,,o&2li*h&ent)
45
What are the ;ir*t Thing* Parent* !hould Tea,h ChildrenJ
DEAR PARENT!<
A
A
LL "; Y"U have /ollo+ed the *tory o/ ho+ to L"-E Y"UR CH$LDREN
THE R$.HT WAY on thi* radio 2rogra& until no+) $ You &u*t have
heard that $ tried to e&2ha*iBe the dutie* o/ the 2arent*U to+ard* their
,hildren) $ ho2e you realiBe the rea*on* /or &e to talk about thi* big
to2i,) $ al*o ho2e that you +ill do your be*t to 2rote,t your ,hildren) "/
,our*e< you kno+ that your ,hildren +ill be the one* +ho re2la,e you in
thi* +orld)
Being Thai* and &o*tly Buddhi*t*< +e have our ho2e that the nation
and the ,ountry o/ Thailand a* +ell a* Buddhi*& +ill 2ro*2er) Thi* kind
o/ +i*h i* in the heart o/ every re*2on*ible 2er*on) But to +i*h /or *o&ething
i* not enough) We &u*t al*o do ,ertain thing* to a,hieve that goal
and to *u,,eed) $n regard to ,hildren< they are &o*t i&2ortant) The /uture
o/ the ,hildren +hether ob*,ured or *orro+/ul de2end* &o*tly on the
a,tion o/ the 2arent*) The &o*t i&2ortant duty o/ the 2arent* i* to be
good 2arent*< +ho &ake *ure that their ,hildren +ill be,o&e good ,itiBen*
o/ our ,ountry) .ood 2arent* *hould behave the&*elve* /or a bright
/uture o/ their ,hildren a* /ollo+*'
)) ;orbid the ,hildren /ro& doing bad deed*)
=) !u22ort the& to do good deed*)
?) .ive the& good edu,ation)
6) !u22ort the& in /inding a good 2artner)
9) .ive the& your 2ro2erty at the right ti&e)
The above /ive re*2on*ibilitie* are the dutie*< +hi,h have been be*to+ed
on u* by the Buddha< +ho +ith hi* kindne** and ,o&2a**ion< had given
to all &ankind) All o/ u* +or*hi2 hi& *o +e *hould 2ay attention to hi&
by /ollo+ing al+ay* thi* /unda&ental guideline)
48
$n the 2reviou* ,ha2ter*< $ have tried to dire,t you to+ard* the right
2ath *o you under*tand ho+ to 2revent your ,hildren /ro& ,o&&itting
*in/ul a,t* and al*o given *o&e advi*e /or the& to do +hole*o&e thing*)
$/ you re&e&ber the& +ell you +ill have a 2retty good idea to do 1u*t
that and not going on a +ild goo*e ,ha*e) The /uture o/ your ,hildren +ill
be bright /or *ure)
$n the 2reviou* ,ha2ter*< $ have tried to dire,t you to+ard* the right
2ath *o you under*tand ho+ to 2revent your ,hildren /ro& ,o&&itting
*in/ul a,t* and al*o given *o&e advi*e /or the& to do +hole*o&e thing*)
$/ you re&e&ber the& +ell you +ill have a 2retty good idea to do 1u*t
that and not going on a +ild goo*e ,ha*e) The /uture o/ your ,hildren +ill
be bright /or *ure)
"bedien,e
"bedien,e i* the /ir*t virtue the 2arent* *hould try to tea,h the&) $n
the Holy Bible o/ the Chri*tian* and the #oran o/ $*la& +e +ill /ind the
tea,hing on obedien,e right /ro& the beginning) The *tory +a* about the
.od in heaven< +ho had ,reated *everal thing* and then the t+o hu&an*
in the +orld to live in a beauti/ul garden) He al*o re,on/ir&ed to the&
thatG DYou t+o have ab*olute right* in thi* garden eF,e2t /or one 2arti,ular
tree +hi,h i* /orbidden) You &u*t not eat it* /ruit* at all)E But the
,ou2le di*obeyed Hi&) They ate the /ruit* and the .od +a* angry and
2uni*hed the& *everely) The e**en,e o/ the *tory i* about obedien,e) $/
+e la,k obedien,e thing* +ill be in di*array)
Thai 2eo2le are /a&iliar +ith an,ient /olklore< e)g) Chantakhoro2<
+ho +a* a 2rin,e< +ent into a /ore*t to be,o&e a di*,i2le o/ a her&it)
Having /ini*hed hi* training< he +a* on hi* +ay ba,k to the 2ala,e) The
her&it told hi&) DThi* i* a &agi, boF) Take it +ith you but you &u*t not
o2en thi* boF during the tri2 and you &u*t 2rote,t it a* i/ it +a* your
li/e) When you arrive ho&e then you ,an o2en the boF)E Hu&an* are
*trange ,reature*) We are /ull o/ ,urio*ity) We love to violate any /orbidden
rule /or a 2arti,ular 2la,e and /or +hatever rea*on) The young
2rin,e had re,eived the gi/t) Naturally he +anted to kno+ *o &u,h +hat
+a* in*ide) "ne thought in hi* &ind +anted to o2en and *ee +hat +a*
in the boF) Another thought 2rote*ted that he *hould not violate the
in*tru,tion o/ hi* beloved tea,her) He kne+ hi* tea,her loved hi& and
44
+i*hed hi& +ell) That +a* +hy he gave that in*tru,tion to begin +ith)
A good di*,i2le &u*t obey the ,o&&and o/ hi* tea,her at all ti&e*) The
t+o thought* /ought again*t ea,h other /or a long ti&e) ;inally ,urio*ity
+on the debate) A/ter *to22ing to take a bath at a *trea& o/ ,ool running
+ater< he *at do+n and looked at the boF) He +a* very ,uriou* and
o2ened the boF and /ound a beauti/ul girl in*ide) !he ,a&e out o/ the boF
and ,ould not get ba,k in) !o he 1u*t had to allo+ her to *tay out and let
nature take it ,our*e) At the end a bandit killed the 2rin,e) All be,au*e
he did not obey the order o/ hi* tea,her) Thi* i* a very good le**on /or
everybody)
$n a Buddhi*t tea,hing< the Buddha had *et &any rule* about obedien,e)
;or eFa&2le< *o&e +ere ,alled /aith and *o&e &ode*ty) When
the &onk* give a ble**ing to the lay 2eo2le< they al+ay* tea,h the& to be
hu&ble and to a,,e2t the o2inion o/ other 2eo2le a* thi* tran*lation' long
li/e< beauti/ul ,o&2leFion< ha22ine** and good health +ill belong to tho*e
+ho are al+ay* hu&ble) $n A2arihaniyadha&&a< +hi,h 2rovide* guideline
to 2ro*2erity only and never to de,line ha* one 2art *aying< DAny
grou2 o/ &onk* +ho are leader* in an a**e&bly *hall be re*2e,ted by
all &onk* in the a**e&bly by obeying their +ord*)E Thi* i* a le**on in
obedien,e) $t i* ,u*to&ary a&ong the Thai 2eo2le in general to tea,h our
2eo2le to obey a,,ording to *eniority) Every ,hild &u*t obey the tea,hing
o/ the 2arent*) The younger one* &u*t al+ay* obey the elder one*)
The *ervant* &u*t obey the e&2loyer*) The 1unior* &u*t obey the *enior*)
The 2eo2le &u*t re*2e,t and obey the king' Thi* i* a *o,ial *y*te&<
+hi,h bring* 2ea,e and order to the Thai nation) A* long a* Thailand
re*2e,t* thi* rule +e +ill al+ay* go /or+ard *e,urely)
$n the 2re*ent ti&e< &any thing* ha22ened +hi,h de*troyed our
beauti/ul heritage) Young 2eo2le +ere eF,ited about liberty +ithout any
2rin,i2le) They &i*under*tood that to be able to do anything< a* they
2lea*ed +ere true liberty) $/ the older 2eo2le /orbade the& /ro& doing
+hat they +anted< they o/ten *aid their /reedo& +a* too li&ited) The
young 2eo2le and the old 2eo2le did not get along) The order a&ong the
2eo2le in the Thai *o,iety +a* ,hanging ra2idly) The ,hange brought
a lot o/ 2roble&* to tho*e +ho love 2ea,e and tranHuillity) There +ere
)::
ne+* about the ,hildren +ho did not li*ten to the 2arent*G the *tudent*
+ho did not li*ten to the tea,her*G the te&2le boy* +ho did not li*ten to
the abbot* o/ the te&2le) And tho*e in,ident* ha22ened o/ten and they
really needed ,are/ul ,on*ideration to 2revent the& /ro& ha22ening in
the /uture)
ne+* about the ,hildren +ho did not li*ten to the 2arent*G the *tudent*
+ho did not li*ten to the tea,her*G the te&2le boy* +ho did not li*ten to
the abbot* o/ the te&2le) And tho*e in,ident* ha22ened o/ten and they
really needed ,are/ul ,on*ideration to 2revent the& /ro& ha22ening in
the /uture)
;or thi* rea*on< in bringing u2 the ,hildren you need to be unbia*ed
a* &u,h a* 2o**ible) Be*ide* being unbia*ed< you a* the guardian o/ the
,hildren &u*t be 1u*t and rea*onable) You &u*t never do thing* e&otionally)
$n order to &ake your in*tru,tion* *a,red and u*e/ul to the ,hildren
you *hould abide by a 2rin,i2le taught by the Buddha)
DWhatever you +ill tea,h other*< you *hould &ake it ha22en in your*el/
/ir*t) Then the tea,her +ill not be ,on/u*ed)E
To do it your*el/ a* an eFa&2le i* a very valuable le**on) $/ you tea,h
your ,hildren to obey you but you and your +i/e al+ay* argue even in
&inor detail*G your ,hildren *ee you /ight and argue in anger +ith ea,h
other all the ti&e then the ,hildren &u*t have re,eived *o&e o/ that habit
in their heart) They +ill think that it i* a,,e2table to a,t like that) Your
,hildren +ill be ea*ily *2oiled) The 2arent* *hould be a good eFa&2le o/
the ,hildren at all ti&e*) Not only you +ant the& to obey you but *o&eti&e*
you *hould al*o li*ten to your ,hildren a* +ell e*2e,ially +hen they
have eF2re**ed *o&e o2inion and it i* rea*onable enough to ,o&2ly +ith)
$/ +e +ant other 2eo2le to li*ten to our +ord* +e &u*t our*elve* li*ten
to the& a* +ell) Naturally it i* hard /or the 2eo2le +ho do not li*ten to
anybody to eF2e,t other 2eo2le to li*ten to the&)
$n tea,hing the ,hildren to be obedient< the 2arent* &u*t be very
a+are o/ all the thing* about ,hildren) They &u*t be ,lo*e to the& be,au*e
being ,lo*e +ill allo+ the& to kno+ the &ove&ent o/ the ,hildren at all
ti&e*) When you tell your ,hildren to do anything you &u*t think ahead
):)
+hether your ,hildren +ill be able to do it) Will it be hard /or the&J $/
the ,hildren ,annot abide by the order* they +ill ea*ily violate the&)
"n,e they have violated your order< it i* likely to ha22en again) A habit
+ill *tart to /ir& u2 in the &ind o/ the ,hildren) The one +ho give* an
order &u*t think /ir*t and +hen giving an order it &u*t be given in a ,lear
voi,e to allo+ the& to hear and under*tand you +ell enough) !o&eti&e*
+e tell our ,hildren to do *o&ethingG they did not hear and 1u*t *it there)
You thought they did not obey your order and *2anked the&) $n /a,t it
+a* the /ault o/ the one +ho gave the order and not that o/ the ,hildren
at all)
A little boy i* en1oying hi&*el/ in hi* +ork) He i* ,on,entrating in
the thing he i* 2aying attention to) He doe* not hear other 2eo2le talking)
Even adult* are the *a&e) While +e are bu*y +orking +e donCt kno+ i/
anything ha22en*) $t i* even &ore *o /or ,hildren) They +ill never kno+
+hen they are ,on,entrating on *o&ething el*e) Be/ore any 2uni*h&ent
i* given to the& due to being di*obedient< think /ir*t +hether you have
&ade a ,orre,t in*tru,tion) $n order not to allo+ thi* to be,o&e a 2roble&
/or the ,hildren< be/ore giving an order you *hould do like in the &ilitary)
When the ,o&&anding o//i,er +ant* hi* *oldier* to do anything<
he +ill *ay it loudly< DCo&2any< attentionRE to dra+ their attention) Then
an order i* given to the&)
$t *hould al*o be that +ay /or the ,hildren) You *hould ,all the&
to ,o&e near you *ho+ing your love and *y&2athy to the&) Then you
tell the& +hat you +ant the& to do) Be/ore letting the& go you *hould
a*k the& to re2eat the order) When you are *ure that the ,hildren have
under*tood the a**ign&ent then you let the& go) Your ,hildren *hould
be able to do the 1ob) A/ter they have done the 1ob you *hould a*k the&
to re2ort the re*ult every ti&e) $/ there are *o&ething +rong you ,an hel2
to ,orre,t the&) $/ it +a* done right you *hould re+ard the&< or u*ing
verbal ,o&2li&ent) $t i* better than nothing) Never a,t like you 2ay no
attention to the +ork o/ your ,hildren R
"ne &ore thingG do not i**ue too &any trivial in*tru,tion* /or your
,hildren) Be,au*e the &ore rule*< the &ore +rong) 0ore la+* &ean
&ore 2ri*oner*) You *hould i**ue an in*tru,tion +hen there +a* a &i*
):=
take in order to build a /en,e to 2revent the ,hildren /ro& &aking that
&i*take again) And you your*el/ &u*t re&e&ber all you have /orbidden
the& not to do *o you ,an re&ind the& not to violate that order) DonCt
think /or a &inute that it i* 1u*t a little thing) There have been &any ,hildren
+ho have been *2oiled be,au*e o/ the indi//eren,e o/ the 2arent*) !o
$ +ould like to a*k you to be ,are/ul) $/ you have hel2ed tea,h your ,hildren
to have di*,i2line and to be obedient to you then you ,an be ,on*idered
a great hel2 to our ,ountry and be a kee2er o/ our religion) A good
,hild under a hou*e roo/ i* al*o a good ,hild at the *,hoolG a good ,hild
on the *treet i* al*o a good ,itiBen +ho obey* the la+* o/ the land)
The ,itiBen* o/ any ,ountrie* +ho obey the la+* have evidently develo2ed
&entally) 0ental develo2&ent +ill hel2 ,reate &aterial develo2&ent)
$/ +e already have &aterial develo2&ent but no &ental develo2&ent<
the *aid &aterial +ill be o/ no value to the ,o&&unity) We need
develo2&ent both eFternally and internally) And +ho ,an hel2 in thi*
regardJ
You< the 2arent* ,an hel2) $t i* by training your ,hildren to be obedient
to you at all ti&e*)
):?
DonCt Look Bored
When An*+ering Your ChildrenC* Nue*tion*
DonCt Look Bored
When An*+ering Your ChildrenC* Nue*tion*
"
"
NE DAY $ +a* +aiting /or a train at Uttaradit rail+ay *tation) $ *a+
an in,ident< +hi,h +a* very u*e/ul to &e) $ +ant to relate it to you)
There +a* a +ell%dre**ed &an +alking into the *tation +ith a little boy<
+ho ,ould talk Huite +ell) When the t+o o/ the& /ound a 2la,e to *it< the
little boy began a*king Hue*tion*)
DWhat i* that< daddyJE The &an *aid< D$t i* a train)E DWhere i* it
goingJE The little boy a*ked again) D$t i* going to the engine +ork*ho2)E
The boy ke2t on a*king< DWhy did it have to blo+ the +hi*tle like that<
daddyJE The /ather an*+ered in angry voi,e< D$ donCt kno+) You a*k too
&any Hue*tion*) Why do you +ant to kno+J !it *till< +ill youJE A/ter he
heard the threatening voi,e o/ hi* /ather< the little boy +a* *,ared) Hi*
ha22y /a,e turned gri&) He *at *till and a*ked no &ore Hue*tion*)
Wa* it the right thing /or the /ather to have done that to hi* *onJ A
+i*e 2er*on +ould *ay no to that) Why did he have to *ho+ anger like
that to hi* *onJ $t &ade hi& *to2 *&iling and he had no ,ourage to a*k
any &ore Hue*tion*) Thi* +a* one *ure +ay to le**en hi* 2otential to learn)
$t al*o &ade hi& a/raid) He +a* a/raid to *2eak out and to a*k any &ore
Hue*tion* /ro& anybody) $t +a* not really the right thing to do)
Nor&ally +hen the ,hildren gro+ u2 their &ind i* gro+ing u2 a*
+ell) Their body need* /ood /or nouri*h&ent) The &ind o/ the ,hildren
need* the nouri*h&ent a* +ell) They begin to be intere*ted and ,uriou*
about everything they *ee or en,ounter) They +ant to kno+ +hat
they are) At the ti&e they *till ,annot talk< they +ill *ignal to the other*
that they +ant to kno+< to *ee< to under*tand +hat tho*e thing* are) A
baby girl +ho i* *u,king on one o/ the ni22le* o/ her &other +hile her
hand i* tou,hing another brea*t ha* her eye* looking right at the /a,e o/
her &other to *ee the i&age< +hi,h i* being i&2re**ed in her &ind) The
baby girl kno+* that &otherC* &ilk give* her *trength and it &ake* her
body gro+) The /a,e o/ the 2er*on giving the &ilk look* beauti/ul to her)
):6
That /a,e i* *o&ething to re&e&ber) $/ *he i* /ear/ul< +hen *he *a+ her
&otherC* /a,e *he +ill 1u&2 right in bet+een the t+o brea*t*) !he +ill be
/eeling good and *e,ure that *he ha* /ound a *a/e 2la,e to be) Not only
her &other but al*o other ob1e,t* *he ,o&e* into ,onta,t +ill dra+ her
intere*t) !he +ill hold on to that thing and +ill not let it be taken a+ay)
!o&eti&e* *he +ill 2ut it in her &outh to eF2erien,e it* ta*te) Whether
it i* the *a&e a* that o/ the &ilk *he ha* kno+n be/ore) All tho*e behaviour*
are the re*ult o/ the de*ire to kno+) When that ti&e ha* ,o&e and
*he ,an *2eak the language o/ her &other< *he +ill a*k the Hue*tion right
a+ay) What i* thi* thing /orJ And *he +ill ,ontinue +ithout *to22ing
until *he ha* not doubt on her &ind or until *he +a* *,olded and told to
*to2 a*king)
The rea*on +hy the ,hildren a*k Hue*tion* +hen they donCt kno+ the
an*+er* i* be,au*e it i* really a hu&an in*tin,t to be ,uriou*) The adult*
need to *tudy about thi* 2*y,hologi,al 2rin,i2le) Plea*e donCt ob*tru,t
the 2rogre** o/ the ,hildren be,au*e you are too laBy to an*+er the Hue*tion*
*o you *,are the& +ith your threatening voi,e< be,au*e i/ you do
that your ,hildren +ill end u2 +ith little or no kno+ledge at all) Your
&o*t i&2ortant duty i* that o/ ,reating intere*t and ,urio*ity in the &ind
o/ the ,hildren) All o/ our ,hildren *hould be gro+ing u2 +ith +i*do&)
Edu,ation i* a ne,e**ity in our live*) The ,ondition* o/ the &ind o/ the
,hildren are *u,h that learning +ill *ati*/y the&) The 2arent*C duty i* only
to *ti&ulate the& to u*e their energy in getting an edu,ation)
$/ your ,hildren *tart taking an intere*t in a*king Hue*tion< you *hould
be 2roud o/ their 2rogre**) You *hould hel2 the& to 2rogre** /urther by
devoting your ti&e to do thi* u*e/ul 1ob o/ an*+ering the Hue*tion* /ro&
your ,hildren a* &u,h a* 2o**ible) DonCt be irritated too ea*ily and donCt
lo*e your 2atien,e) When your ,hildren bother you +ith their Hue*tion*<
an*+er all o/ the&) 0ake all your an*+er* ,lear to the&) !u22o*e your
,hildren *a+ an ani&al they have never *een be/ore) They a*k you +hat
i* that) DonCt give the& only it* na&e) ;or eFa&2le< they a*k you about
a ,at< you *hould eF2lain +hat kind o/ ani&al a ,at i*< ho+ u*e/ul it i* to
your /a&ily) $t i* the ty2e o/ an*+er< +hi,h +ill enlighten the ,hildren) $/
you *ee that the thing*< your ,hildren *ee *,are the&< try to eF2el their
):9
/ear by *aying that< there i* nothing in the& to /ear) $/ you ,an allo+ the
,hildren to ,o&e ,lo*e and tou,h the&< it i* even better) $t i* a +ay to
train the ,hildren to love and be kind to ani&al* a* +ell) Re&e&ber thi*
*i&2le rule'
/ear by *aying that< there i* nothing in the& to /ear) $/ you ,an allo+ the
,hildren to ,o&e ,lo*e and tou,h the&< it i* even better) $t i* a +ay to
train the ,hildren to love and be kind to ani&al* a* +ell) Re&e&ber thi*
*i&2le rule'
tion*<
al+ay* try to an*+er the&) $t i* a good +ay to hel2 develo2 the&
intelle,tually)
!o&eti&e* ,hildren &ay be a*king Hue*tion that *hould not or ,annot
be an*+ered< try to &ake the& under*tand ,learly the rea*on* /or
that but never *ho+ anger to the&) The 2arent* are the /ir*t tea,her* o/
their ,hildren *o you &u*t al+ay* do your duty a* a good tea,her) DonCt
ever /orget your duty) $/ the 2arent* 2er/or& their duty +ell< it i* really a
great *ervi,e to our ,ountry)
Whenever you go out o/ the hou*e to take a break< /or in*tan,e< going
/or a +alk by the river< +alking in a 2ark< or hiking on a &ountain or in
a /ore*t< you *hould take your little one* along) $t i* not 1u*t /or *ight *eeing
but al*o to *tudy and to *ee the +orld) There are *o &any thing* in
the +orld that are intere*ting to ,hildren) $/ the tri2 i* by the river< the
,hildren +ill al*o *ee the /i*h< *ee ho+ they ,at,h a /i*h in the river) The
2arent* *hould eF2lain to the& +hat kind o/ ani&al a /i*h i*G ho+ u*e/ul
it i* to hu&an) Tea,h the& not to be ,ruel to the /i*h by de*troying the&
unne,e**arily) Con*ider that an eF2erien,e the ,hildren have i* another
le**on they learn)
$/ you go to the ri,e /ield< the ,hildren +ill *ee *everal kind* o/ bird*)
Tell the& ho+ u*e/ul they are to hu&an) ;or eFa&2le< they hel2 eat
in*e,t*< +hi,h de*troy 2lant*) !o +e have a lot o/ 2lant* /or our ,on*u&2tion)
$/ bird* are killed< there +ill be &ore in*e,t*) The 2lant* +ill
be de*troyed then hu&an +ill be in big trouble)
$/ you take the& to the /ore*t< you *hould talk about it* u*e/ulne**)
Tell the& *torie* about the /ore*t /or their en1oy&ent) $n 2ubli, 2ark*<
they o/ten gro+ 2lant* /or /lo+er* and their leave*) You *hould tell the&
that tho*e are 2ubli, 2ro2erty) The 2eo2le en1oy going to the 2ark*) We
have to take good ,are o/ the&) DonCt ever 2i,k the /lo+er* or the leave*
):I
/ro& the tree* /or their o+n u*e) The ,hildren +ill kno+ right /ro&
+rong< +hat to take ,are and +hat to 2re*erve) They +ill learn to kno+
the thing* that are really u*e/ul and to a,t a22ro2riately in the environ&ent)
$t +ill bene/it the& a* &u,h a* their ability +ill 2er&it)
There i* one &ore thing) $n general the 2eo2le in thi* +orld *hould
learn to live +ith the environ&ent and to live their live* u*e/ully a* &u,h
a* 2o**ible< not 1u*t to be born to eat and to *lee2) Everyone re,eive* a
+hole lot /ro& the earth and the *ky) You *hould return the /avour to
Ptho*e u*e/ul thing*< *o nobody ,an *ay that it +a* a +a*te to be born a*
a hu&an) $t i* a duty o/ the 2arent* to tea,h the& everything they need
to kno+ and under*tand) Children +ith good u2bringing +ill 2rogre**
+hen they gro+ u2 to be adult*) The 2arent &u*t be ,are/ul about thi*)
"ne o/ the &o*t i&2ortant &i*take* o/ the 2arent* i* to be indi//erent
to the intere*t* o/ their ,hildren) They donCt noti,e +hat their ,hildren
are intere*ted in and +hat they like and +hat their in,lination* are)
They be,o&e tho*e +ho do not kno+ their ,hildren ,orre,tly) The /uture
o/ the ,hildren i* ,learly *ho+n by their intere*t* and their eF2re**ion*)
The adult* need only to give advi,e and to en,ourage the& along) They
+ill go /or+ard by the&*elve* little by little)
Another thing i* about the 2eo2le +ho are ,lo*e and related to the
,hildren) There are *everal o/ the&< *u,h a*< the relative* and *ibling*)
The ,hildren need to be told the eFa,t relation*hi2 a&ong the& *o that
they +ill re&e&ber) And they *hould be able to addre** ea,h one o/ the&
2ro2erly in,luding the na&e o/ every one o/ the&) Al*o advi,e the ,hildren
to treat all o/ the& a* ,ou*in* and other a22ro2riate relation*hi2)
All ,hildren +ill /eel ,lo*e /riend*hi2 a&ong the& and +ill have love and
,o&2a**ion to+ard* one another) They +ill en1oy *haring /ood and other
ne,e**itie*< one +ay to ,reate unity a&ong the 2eo2le in a ,o&&unity)
$n the evening a/ter dinner ti&e< &e&ber* o/ the /a&ily o/ten ,o&e
together *o&e+here and en1oy the&*elve* talking) ;or eFa&2le< they talk
about their 1ob at +ork and other /un *tu//) $n a ti&e like thi* let u* allo+
our ,hildren to be a 2art o/ the grou2) E*2e,ially +hen the to2i,* do not
have anything detri&ental to ,hildren) Thi* +ill give an o22ortunity /or
the ,hildren to *ee an ob*erve ho+ adult* talk and their a,tion*) $t i* al*o
):5
a +ay to tran*/er the kno+ledge and 2er*onality /ro& adult* to the ,hil
dren) During thi* gathering< the ,hildren &ay not under*tand *o&ething)
You *hould allo+ the& to a*k the Hue*tion* to hel2 eF2el their doubt*)
DonCt ever *,old the& /or the Hue*tioning) $t i* not a bad idea i/ the adult*
+ill tell a *tory or t+o /or the& to en1oy li*tening)
;or tho*e o/ u* +ho are Buddhi*t*< +e *hould tell *torie* about the
Buddha) U*e a22ro2riate Buddha *torie* /or the ,hildren) Re&e&ber
al*o that at the end o/ a *tory you *hould indi,ate +hat i* right and +hat
i* +rong in that *tory) $t i* a +ay to *ho+ the ,hildren the right 2ath
and the +rong 2ath at the *a&e ti&e) When the ,hildren did *o&ething
+rong or &ade any &i*take*< tell *torie* /or ,o&2ari*on) E&2ha*iBe the
good 2oint* and the bad 2oint* *o the ,hildren kno+ the di//eren,e) $t
+ill hel2 the&) But one thing you have to be ,are/ul< that i* not to tell *torie*
+hi,h are *,ary) They +ill unne,e**arily be de*tru,tive to the &ind
o/ the ,hildren) Adult* &u*t be a+are o/ thi* al+ay*)
$n *o&e *ituation*< the ,hildren in your hou*ehold &ay be arguing
about *o&ething they *a+) $t ,an be very *trong argu&ent +ith all
kind* o/ *u22orting rea*on*) The 2arent* *hould not get bored o/ the
debate a&ong the ,hildren) DonCt *ho+ your di*dain about the *ituation)
$n*tead you *hould 1oin in the di*,u**ion) You *hould be li*tening
to *ee +ho i* right and +ho i* +rong to /ind a +ay to i&2rove the *ituation)
A/ter they have *to22ed arguing eF2lain to the& to be good debater*<
+ho u*e rea*on*< and not one +ho +ant* to +in at all ,o*t) $/ one i*
+rong or u*e* i&2ro2er ,ondu,t< you *hould tell the& the rea*on* a&i,ably)
A*k the& to *et a*ide +rong o2inion and to a,,e2t only ,orre,t o2inion)
Train the& to li*ten to the o2inion* o/ the other* a* +ell) $/ they
donCt +ant to believe that o2inion then and there a*k the& to a,,e2t it
/or ,on*ideration) Tell the& that'
D$/ +e +ant other 2eo2le to li*ten to our o2inion< +e have to a,,e2t
other 2eo2leC* o2inion /ir*t and al+ay*) Whatever +e *ho+ to the other*<
they +ill *ho+ u* the *a&e thing) We *&ile at the&G they +ill *&ile ba,k
at you) Thi* i* a rule o/ thu&b)E
The ,hildren +ho under*tand thi* ,on,e2t +ill be,o&e good de&o,rati,
2eo2le in the /uture) Thailand i* *triving /or de&o,ra,y) Even
):8
though in our ti&e +e have not arrived at that 2oint< +e ,an *et a goal
/or it) We have to hel2 give thi* ,on,e2t to the ,hildren *o they +ill have
a de&o,rati, &ind< +hi,h li*ten* to the o2inion o/ other 2eo2le)
though in our ti&e +e have not arrived at that 2oint< +e ,an *et a goal
/or it) We have to hel2 give thi* ,on,e2t to the ,hildren *o they +ill have
a de&o,rati, &ind< +hi,h li*ten* to the o2inion o/ other 2eo2le)
2ort
tho*e need* in the right dire,tion< the ,hildren +ill 2rogre** in a
2rodu,tive &anner) Ho2e/ully the 2arent*< +ho love and +i*h the ,hildren
+ell< +ill ,on*ider u*ing thi* guideline at an o22ortune ti&e)
):4
Train Children to be Brave M Not Ti&id
Train Children to be Brave M Not Ti&id
"
"
N THE CH$LDRENC! DAY at Buddha*athan< there +ere &any
,hildren +ho ,a&e +ith their tea,her* or 2arent*) !o&e o/ the&
,a&e by the&*elve*) They +ere &o*tly o/ the *a&e age) They ,a&e
together in 1oy/ul &ood) Everybody +a* *&iling and laughing like ordinary
,hildren) $ *at and +at,hed the ,hildren +ith 2lea*ure) $ thought
tho*e ,hildren +ould gro+ to be adult* and +ould be doing thing* in our
2la,e) $/ they are good today< they +ill be good adult* in the /uture)
Whether the ,hildren +ill be good or bad de2end* on the attention
o/ the 2arent* and the tea,her*) $/ tho*e 2eo2le< +ho have a dire,t re*2on*ibility
to lead the ,hildren< turn out to be tho*e +ho do not lead the& in
the right dire,tion< the /uture o/ the ,hildren +ill be ob*,ure) !o it i* the
duty o/ u*< adult*< to do our duty the be*t +e kno+ ho+ to ,reate good
2eo2le in our ,ountry)
The 2ur2o*e o/ the ,elebration o/ the ,hildrenC* Day +a* to re&ind
all the adult* to think about the ,hildren *o they +ill hel2 ,reate the body
and the &ind o/ the ,hildren to go /or+ard to be *o&ething +hole*o&e)
They +ill gro+ u2 to be good 2eo2le o/ our ,ountry) While $ +a* en1oying
&y*el/ +ith the thought< +hi,h o,,urred /or a &o&ent< there +a* a
,ute little boy about three year* old< +ho +alked u2 the *tage bravely) He
,a&e *traight to &e< +ho +a* *itting on a ,hair) When he arrived he 2ro*trated
hi&*el/ on &y la2) $t delighted &e to *ee hi& do that< *o $ *tarted a
,onver*ation +ith hi&) He ,ould *2eak Huite +ell) He gave good an*+er*
to &y Hue*tion*) He never ,a&e to &e like that but +e *ee&ed to hit o//
ni,ely) We talked /or a long ti&e) $ ,arried hi& in &y ar&* +ith love and
took hi& to *ee di//erent thing*) He +a* really en1oying hi&*el/) He +a*
intere*ted in *o&e toy* and a*ked /or the& *o $ gave *o&e to hi&) He
tried to +ave hi* hand ,alling hi* little brother to ,o&e u2 the *tage like
hi&) But hi* brother +ould not ,o&e u2G he *ho+ed a *ign o/ /ear) $ +a*
really i&2re**ed +ith the three%year%old) $ +ant to *ee every Thai ,hild
be brave in the right +ay and to *2eak loud and ,lear) But $ have not *een
)):
enough o/ that) We *till have *o &any ,o+ardly ,hildren) Who &ade
the& that +ayG no one but their 2arent*)
$ have *een o/ten enough +hen the &other take* her ,hildren to the
te&2le) $/ her ,hildren are naughty< *he u*ually tell* the ,hildren /ir&ly<
DThat i* a &onkR !to2 that or the &onk +ith *2ank you)E !o&eti&e* *he
+ill 2oint her /inger at the big Buddha i&age and *ay*< *to2 it or $ +ill or
*o&ething o/ that nature) $t &ake* a ,o+ard out o/ that ,hild< +hen he or
*he i* a/raid o/ *o&ething like that) !o&e ,hildren are a/raid even to *ee
a Buddha i&age in a big hall) When the &onk* ,all the&< they 1u&2 out
o/ their *kin) The rea*on /or that i* be,au*e the 2arent* u*ed the &onk
to *,are the ,hildren) 0any o/ the& have be,o&e ,o+ardly +ith no rea
*on at all) Thi* i* a big &i*take)
There +a* a ,o&2lete *et o/ *keleton at !uan Buddhadha&&a in
Chiang 0ai) 0any adult* +ere a/raid to tou,h it) They +ere a/raid o/ the
gho*t) But inno,ent ,hildren +ould a22roa,h it and u*ed their hand* to
tou,h and /eel the bone* +ithout being a/raid) The ,hildren ,ould do that
be,au*e they did not kno+ +hat it +a*) Ho+ *,ary it +a*) A* a &atter
o/ /a,t< it +a* nothing to be a/raid o/) The ,hildren +ill have /ear in their
heart be,au*e +e< the adult*< bring the /ear and 2ut it in their brain) $/
the adult* did not do that< the ,hildren +ould al+ay* be brave) The 2ar
ent*< +ho love your ,hildren< *hould not do anything to *,are the ,hil
dren in any +ay)
There i* one di//eren,e bet+een Thai and Cau,a*ian ,hildren) Thai
,hildren are re*erved and *,ared o/ un/a&iliar thing*) When a *tranger
,o&e* to a*k about *o&ething< they +ill be a/raid to give an an*+er) They
+ill be *,ared and run a+ay) Cau,a*ian ,hildren are not that +ay) When
they &et 2eo2le o/ di//erent ,o&2leFion< i/ they +ere a22roa,hed and
a*ked Hue*tion*< they +ould an*+er the& a* +ell a* they ,an) Why i*
there *o &u,h di//eren,eJ $t i* the +ay +e rai*e our ,hildren) We e&2ha
*iBe good &anner *o &u,h that our ,hildren look *o ti&id)
The +orld o/ ,hildren and the +orld o/ adult* are *e2arated) The
adult* have one +orld +hile the ,hildren have another +orld) They donCt
,ro** ea,h otherC* border) The adult* &ay enter the ,hildrenC* +orld but
the ,hildren ,an never enter the adult*C +orld) Any ,hildren +ho try to
)))
learn anything about the adult* +ill be *,olded /or being too no*y or a,ting
like an over%&ature 2er*on) !o all the ,hildren have to 2ut the&*elve*
in*ide their o+n territory +ithout any ,han,e to leave the area) $* that a
,orre,t +ay to treat our ,hildrenJ !o&e +ill *ay in their o+n vie+ it i*
,orre,t be,au*e they the&*elve* +ere treated that +ay on,e be/ore) But i/
+e u*e a &odern a22roa,h< it ,an be *ho+n that the old +ay i* not right)
$ did not &ean to *ay that our* i* totally +rong and only the +hite &anC*
+ay i* ,orre,t)
The Cau,a*ian *y*te& in ,ertain a*2e,t i* 2retty bad too) $ have
*een a /ather and teenage girl 2lay together in a /ront yard) The daughter
1u&2ed u2 on the ne,k o/ the /ather and over hi* head) $n &y o2inion<
that +a* an i&2ro2er behaviour) But their ,u*to& doe* not &ind the
high 2la,e and the lo+ 2la,e) All organ* in the body are eHual in *tatu*)
But the Thai* are di//erent) We &ind very &u,h the high and the lo+
body 2art*) Playing like that i* not a22ro2riate) We *hould ,on*ider thi*
very ,are/ully and a,,e2t only the u*e/ul &ethod* to train our ,hildren)
And that *hould be enough)
The thing* +e *hould e&ulate the& are +e *hould not kee2 our
,hildren in their +orld< +hi,h i* *o *&all and li&ited) We *hould allo+
the& to ,o&e out to the +orld o/ the adult* on,e in a +hile) $t i* a big
&i*take /or the adult* to /orbid the ,hildren /ro& being in the adult*C
grou2) They think that the ,hildren &u*t be +ith the ,hildren and never
a22roa,h and enter the adult*C area) When a ,hild enter*< *o&e *ay* he
or *he i* a,ting ,o,ky< *o&e *ay he or *he i* being no*y) They kee2 hi&
or her under ,ontrol all the ti&e) When adult* a,t that +ay< the ,hildren
+ill not /eel at ea*e) They +ill be *,ared to *ay anything to *o&e one
they /eel &ore *enior) They end u2 having no ,han,e to eF2re** the&*elve*
into +ord*) !o they donCt kno+ /or *ure +hether their thinking i*
right or +rong) They +ill al+ay* be un*ure o/ the&*elve*) DA& $ right or
+hatJE They tend to a,t ,o+ardly and are a/raid to talk ,on/idently +ith
the adult*)
!everal &onth* ago< a boy +a* a,,u*ed o/ violating the !e,ond
Pre,e2t*) The 2ro2erty o+ner ,o&2lained to the /ather +ho be,a&e
angry very ea*ily) A* *oon a* he +a* told o/ the in,ident +ithout kno+
))=
ing /or *ure o/ the /a,t< he got &ad and looked /or a big baton) When
that boy ,a&e ho&e< he +ent right at hi& like a /ier,e tiger) The boy +a*
*o *,ared) He +a* *tuttering *o badly that he ,ould not talk) $n*tead o/
being *y&2atheti, +ith hi&< the /ather *,olded hi& in a big +ay) The
re*ult +a* he did not /ind out +hat really ha22ened) To do *o&ething
like that i* too *evere a 2uni*h&ent)
ing /or *ure o/ the /a,t< he got &ad and looked /or a big baton) When
that boy ,a&e ho&e< he +ent right at hi& like a /ier,e tiger) The boy +a*
*o *,ared) He +a* *tuttering *o badly that he ,ould not talk) $n*tead o/
being *y&2atheti, +ith hi&< the /ather *,olded hi& in a big +ay) The
re*ult +a* he did not /ind out +hat really ha22ened) To do *o&ething
like that i* too *evere a 2uni*h&ent)
!o&e ,hildren are by nature not very brave or they are +hat +e ,all
being *hy or ba*h/ul /ro& ,hildhood) $t take* &any day* /or the& to *tart
talking and they talk *hyly) They +ere a/raid to give any o2inion*) That
+a* their habit) The 2arent* *hould not be ,on,erned too &u,h be,au*e
thing* like that ,an be ,orre,ted) 0ahat&a .andhi +hen young +a* very
ba*h/ul) When he be,a&e a young &an he +a* *till *hy) $n de/ending a
,lient in a ,ourt o/ la+ a* a /ir*t ti&e la+yer< he +a* nervou* and did not
&ake a good *2ee,h) Later one he be,a&e a great orator< +ho ,onveyed
hi* &e**age to hi* audien,e very +ell)
A* /or &e >the author@< $ +a* very ti&id +hen $ +a* young and talked
very little) $ +a* *hy +hen $ had to talk) But no+ you *ee ho+ good a
*2ee,h &aker $ a&) Anything about ,hildren i* ,hangeable) $t ,an be
i&2roved or it ,an be +or*ened) $t de2end* on ho+ +e do it) The 2arent*
+ho have ,hildren +ho are ti&id +hen they talk &u*t /ind &ore o22ortunity
/or the& to talk in /ront o/ their /riend* and tho*e older than
they are) You *hould ,o&2li&ent the& to &ake the& 2roud that they
))?
,an &ake a good *2ee,h and in a ni,eCG +ay) Whenever there are hou*e
gue*t*< bring the& out to 2arti,i2ate in the ,onver*ation e*2e,ially +hen
the to2i, o/ the di*,u**ion doe*< not irritate their /eeling and it i* nothing
*e,retive) $/ in any 2art o/ the di*,u**ion they are able to 2arti,i2ate
let the& talk a* +ell) Do not *,old or e&barra** the&) Be/ore long< ti&id
,hildren +ill be,o&e talkative) They +ill be able to e&ulate the 2er*onality
o/ the adult*) $ only a*k that you try to hel2 giving the& the o22ortunity
to i&2rove)
There i* one /la+ in the adult*< +hi,h ,an de*troy the 2rogre** o/ the
,hildren) That i* the la,k o/ ,on*ideration on the 2art o/ the adult* in
*ho+ing their *en*e o/ hu&our) ;or eFa&2le< +hen the ,hildren &ake
&i*take*< *2eak indi*tin,tly< or u*e the +rong +ord*< the adult* o/ten
laugh at the& heartily) The 2eo2le +ho laugh are having /un but the ,hildren
+ho +ere laughed at did not think it +a* /unny at all) They thought
they &u*t have done *o&ething terribly +rong) ThatC* +hy they +ere
laughing at the&) A/ter that they +ill be a/raid to eF2re** the&*elve*)
The en1oy&ent< +hi,h the adult* re,eived /ro& laughing< brought that
&u,h da&age to the ,hildren) !o they *hould be very ,are/ul) When the
,hildren *ay *o&ething +rong do not *ho+ anything +hi,h +ill indi,ate
the ,hildren that they are being ridi,uled) The adult* *hould 1u*t let
the ,hildren go on talking +ithout *,olding the& or telling the& to *to2
in the &iddle o/ their talk) $/ they do that the thought 2ro,e** o/ the
,hildren +ill be interru2ted) $t al*o +ill *2oil the ,on,entration o/ the
,hildren) They *hould try to re&e&ber the &i*take*) A/ter the talk ha*
ended and they are alone together then they ,an tell the ,hildren ni,ely<
i)e) tell the& that< DYou re&e&ber thi*< that *o and *o +ord +a* not ,orre,t<
it *hould not be u*ed at that ti&e be,au*e it i* not a22ro2riate)E The
,hildren +ill re&e&ber 1u*t like that and they have another o22ortunity
to i&2rove their 2er/or&an,e the neFt ti&e) Re&e&ber thi* ea*y rule'
every ,hild love* being /lattered and lovely +ord*) We +ant the& to do
*o&ething +e *hould give the& ,redit) We need to ,o&2li&ent the&)
Then they +ill be able to re&e&ber +hatever +e tell the& +e donCt like<
it i* not a good thing< and the ,hildren +ill &o*t likely do not +ant to
,ontradi,t u*) $/ you noti,e the ,hildren +hile they are doing *o&e thing<
))6
they o/ten look at you) $/ they ob*erve that your eF2re**ion indi,ate* your
di*a22roval< they +ill *to2 doing that right a+ay) $/ you tell the& in *o
&any +ord*< they +ill not ,ontradi,t you /or *ure) Thi* i* one rule you
*hould re&e&ber)
they o/ten look at you) $/ they ob*erve that your eF2re**ion indi,ate* your
di*a22roval< they +ill *to2 doing that right a+ay) $/ you tell the& in *o
&any +ord*< they +ill not ,ontradi,t you /or *ure) Thi* i* one rule you
*hould re&e&ber)
))9
!2ort* are $&2ortant to Children
!2ort* are $&2ortant to Children
"
"
NE DAY $ +a* taking a +alk near thi* te&2le and *a+ t+o *&all
kitten* en1oying the&*elve* 2laying ,at and &ou*e) They 1u&2ed
and ,aught *o&ething here and there and every+here) $ en1oyed &y*el/
+at,hing the&) At the *a&e ti&e another &ind ,ould not hel2 +ondering
+hat they +ere really doing) Why +ere they doing like thatJ 0y
&ind gave an an*+er that they +ere 2laying a *2ort) They +ere 2re2aring
the&*elve* /or their /uture< be,au*e every ,at &u*t de2end on it*el/)
Anybody +ho ,an de2end on oneC* *el/ &u*t have the kno+ledge and the
ability to be able to *urvive in thi* +orld)
The kno+ledge a ,at &u*t 2o**e** i* to ,at,h *&all ani&al* /or /ood)
The ani&al*< +hi,h are to be,o&e ,at /ood< al*o 2o**e** agility) !o they
need to train to be Hui,ker and they did like that) And *o that +a* a kind
o/ *2ort /or the ,at)
$/ +e have a ,han,e to talk to the We*terner*< they al+ay* a*k +hat
kind o/ *2ort* +e like and *o&eti&e* they +ill a*k +hat kind o/ *2ort*
+e like to 2lay) "nly to tell the& +hat kind o/ *2ort* +e 2lay< they ,an
2redi,t our ,hara,ter and habit) Be,au*e *2ort i* al*o a ga&e o/ li/e +hi,h
&ake* the 2eo2le +ant to go /or+ard and to do the be*t they ,an in +hatever
they do) !o they al+ay* 2ay *2e,ial attention to *2ort*) $n general<
there are *2ort* /a,ilitie* at the ,lub*< *,hool* and univer*itie*) Everybody
take* intere*t in *2ort* and i* ha22y to 2lay the *2ort* he or *he like*)
Every kind o/ *2ort* tea,he* the 2arti,i2ant* to kno+ ho+ to lo*e< ho+
to +in< and ho+ to /orgive one another) $t al*o &ake* the& to be 2atient
and tolerant) Every ,ountry 2ro&ote* *2ort* in a big +ay)
$n Thailand +hen +e 2lay any kind o/ *2ort* bet+een *,hool* any+here<
there +ere o/ten un+hole*o&e in,ident*) A *,hool &ay have lo*t
a,,ording to the rule* but the 2layer* did not +ant to lo*e) $t ended u2
in a /ight a&ong the 2layer*) Thi* i* a very bad habit) Whoever 2o**e**e*
thi* habit doe* not have 2atien,e) A little di*agree&ent and *o&ething
bad ha22ened) He or *he ,annot be,o&e a good adult) Thailand need*
))I
good 2eo2le +ho are tolerant and deter&ined to hel2 build our ,ountry
to 2ro*2erity) We need to have tho*e 2eo2le +ho are re*2on*ible /or the
/a&ilie*< +hi,h are a 2art o/ the ,ountry to hel2 *u22ort and 2ro&ote
*2ort* in the right dire,tion /or the 2rogre** ahead)
good 2eo2le +ho are tolerant and deter&ined to hel2 build our ,ountry
to 2ro*2erity) We need to have tho*e 2eo2le +ho are re*2on*ible /or the
/a&ilie*< +hi,h are a 2art o/ the ,ountry to hel2 *u22ort and 2ro&ote
*2ort* in the right dire,tion /or the 2rogre** ahead)
tle
boy< $ *a+ &y /riend* 2laying around) But all tho*e /un thing* *ee&ed
to 2ro&ote unruline** &ore than 2ro&oting good *2ort*&an*hi2) ;or
eFa&2le< one grou2 a,ted a* bandit* and another grou2 a* the 2ro2erty
o+ner*) The bandit* ,a&e to rob and beat the 2ro2erty o+ner* to death
and took the &oney and valuable*) When $ thought about it later on< &y
/eeling +a* that< role 2laying like that +a* not *u,h a good idea at all)
$n the 2re*ent ti&e< ,hildren *ee *o &any &ovie*) They 2lay by a,ting
out a role a* the *tar* in the &ovie* but not a *tar< +ho +a* a good guy)
They love to a,t being a bad guy &o*tly) And the behaviour* o/ the ,hildren
really look like the one* on the *ilver *,reen) !o&e o/ the ,hildren
really +ent around +ith a rubber *ling and *hot at anything) !everal day*
ago< $ +a* *taying at the Buddha*athan auditoriu&) $ heard *o&ething
hit the +all) !o $ o2ened a +indo+ and *a+ t+o teenager* te*ting their
*kill at the +all o/ the auditoriu&) $ had to ,all and +arn the& 2olitely
to *to2) They +ent to the +all to 2i,k u2 the earth< +hi,h *tu,k to the
+all and *to2 their de*tru,tive 2lay) Why did they have to do thatJ They
did not kno+ +hat el*e to do to a&u*e the&*elve*)
A nor&al ,hild ,annot *it *till in one 2la,e) $/ he or *he doe* not
have *o&ething good to do< the ,hild +ill do *o&ething bad) Bad thing*
+ill ea*ily lead the ,hild right into trouble*) !o&e ,hildren go out +ith
a *&all kni/e or a *&all aFe) They go any+here and de*troy thing* along
the +ay) $n Thailand there are not &any tree* along the road*< +hi,h
have not been ,ho22ed or ,ut u2 by the 2eo2le both young and old) What
+e *ee indi,ate* ho+ undi*,i2lined the 2eo2le in our *o,iety are) $t al*o
*ho+* that our 2eo2le are &ore de*tru,tive than ,on*tru,tive in nature)
$n /a,t< a Dha&&a 2rin,i2le in Buddhi*& tea,he* u*< Buddhi*t*<
to have gratitude /or all thing*< +hi,h are u*e/ul to u* and to /ind the
+ay* to 2re*erve tho*e thing*) But +hy do +e 2ra,ti,e in ,ontrary to
))5
that 2rin,i2leJ The an*+er i* be,au*e o/ the /a,t that +e la,k 2ro2er
edu,ation) And the one* +ho ,o&&it PC the &o*t +rong are the &other
and the /ather) The 2arent* +ho do not 2ay attention to edu,ating their
,hildren ,an be ,on*idered ,o&&itting a great *in) Thi* kind o/ *in +ill
al+ay* be in/li,ted on the /a&ily na&e) $ +ant to +arn the 2arent* to be
,are/ul not to negle,t to do their dutie*)
that 2rin,i2leJ The an*+er i* be,au*e o/ the /a,t that +e la,k 2ro2er
edu,ation) And the one* +ho ,o&&it PC the &o*t +rong are the &other
and the /ather) The 2arent* +ho do not 2ay attention to edu,ating their
,hildren ,an be ,on*idered ,o&&itting a great *in) Thi* kind o/ *in +ill
al+ay* be in/li,ted on the /a&ily na&e) $ +ant to +arn the 2arent* to be
,are/ul not to negle,t to do their dutie*)
$ have noti,ed that in the 2re*ent ti&e &o*t ,hildren love to ga&ble)
;or eFa&2le< 2laying +ith rubber band*< &arble* and 2i,ture ,ard* thro+ing
,onte*t) All the 2lay* &entioned above are a /ir*t *te2 /or be,o&ing
ga&bler* in the /uture) Thailand ha* &ore and &ore ga&bler* ea,h day)
$/ little ,hildren at ho&e and at *,hool* gather around ga&bling &ore
and &ore like thi* $ a& a/raid Thailand +ill be /ull o/ ga&bler*) When
that ti&e ,o&e*< $ think the +hole nation o/ Thailand +ill have arrived
at the ri& o/ a /la&ing aby**) $t +ill not take long /or all to dro2 in it and
di*integrate)
Do you +ant to *ee *u,h o,,urren,e*J $ donCt think anyone +ant to
*ee that) !o +hat do +e do to avoid thatJ There i* only one +ay that i* to
allo+ the ,hildren to 2lay the right *2ort* and to hel2 build the ,hara,ter
and the *2irit in thi* regard at the *a&e ti&e) The 2arent* &u*t 2ay *2e,ial
attention< *u,h a*< hel2ing to /ind the right kind o/ toy* /or their age
grou2*) You *hould allo+ the& to 2lay +ith the toy* a* they 2lea*e) You
+ill only tell the& ho+ to 2lay and to 2lay +ithout da&aging the toy*)
They *hould kno+ ho+ to u*e the&< ho+ to 2ut the& a+ay a* needed) $/
there are *everal 2layer*< try to *ee +ho i* taking advantage o/ +ho&) Any
bullying by anybody< any ,heating 1u*t to +in a ga&eJ $/ you *ee any o/
tho*e then you &u*t try to intervene and do not allo+ the& to kee2 on
))8
doing tho*e thing*) Any little thing* &ay be ,au*e* /or bigger da&age*)
!o you &u*t be ,are/ul)
doing tho*e thing*) Any little thing* &ay be ,au*e* /or bigger da&age*)
!o you &u*t be ,are/ul)
A* a &atter o/ /a,t< the 2arent* *hould /ind every o22ortunity to
take 2art in any a,tivitie*) They *hould a,t like a boFing trainer /or the
,hildren) Tell the& +hen there i* a &i*take and ,o&2li&ent the& +hen
they do the right thing< the good thing< in order to en,ourage their good
behaviour) $t i* al*o a +ay to 2revent the& /ro& being *2oiled) $n *o&e
/a&ilie*< the relation*hi2 a&ong &e&ber* o/ the /a&ily i* too re*tri,tive)
The /ather doe* not a**o,iate +ith the ,hildren and the &other ha* no
intere*t in *2ending the ti&e to have *o&e /un +ith the ,hildren at all)
The ,hildren are re*tri,ted to their o+n +orld +hile the gro+n%u2* are in
another +orld) The ,hildren /eel lonely and *o&eti&e* they &ay be,o&e
*addened and get totally out o/ ,ontrol) Thi* +ay i* a &i*take) !o $ +ant
to +arn you not to be like that)
Every ,hild *hould /eel the +ar&th +hen he or *he ,o&e* ,lo*e to the
2arent*) They *hould be like a Boh tree o/ the ,hildren under the *hado+
o/ +hi,h they al+ay* /eel a /ul/il&ent) ;or thi* rea*on< the 2arent* *hould
*2end the ti&e en1oying the&*elve* +ith the ,hildren on,e in a +hile)
The 2arent* +ho get along +ith the ,hildren are loved and re*2e,ted by
the ,hildren) !o&e 2eo2le &ay think that to allo+ the&*elve* 2laying
+ith the ,hildren +ill &ake the& lo*e their re*2e,t) The /a,t o/ the &atter
i* that it i* not true)G Thi* +ould de2end on the a,tion* o/ the 2arent*)
The an,ient 2eo2le had a *aying< DDonCt &iF 2lay +ith +ork< and
+ork +ith 2lay)E But there i* nothing +rong +ith en1oying +hile you
+ork) You ,an al*o< a,,o&2li*h +ork by 2laying) But do not &iF +ork
and 2lay together)
))4
E*2e,ially in the ,a*e o/ ,hildren and adult*< /or eFa&2le< +hen the
adult* +ant to tea,h the ,hildren in *o&ething< you have to look *ole&n
and bu*ine**like) Do not tea,h by talking 2lay/ully) Then the ,hildren
+ill not take it *eriou*ly) You have to &ean +hat you *aid to &ake the&
re*2e,t you) $ think thi* &atter doe* not re,eive a *eriou* thought by the
Thai 2eo2le) When +e tea,h *o&e one< +e 1u*t do it 2lay/ully) The re*ult
o/ your tea,hing doe* not ,o&e out a* you +i*h) $ +ant to re&ind all o/
you about thi* *o +e ,an *tart the re&edy)
E*2e,ially in the ,a*e o/ ,hildren and adult*< /or eFa&2le< +hen the
adult* +ant to tea,h the ,hildren in *o&ething< you have to look *ole&n
and bu*ine**like) Do not tea,h by talking 2lay/ully) Then the ,hildren
+ill not take it *eriou*ly) You have to &ean +hat you *aid to &ake the&
re*2e,t you) $ think thi* &atter doe* not re,eive a *eriou* thought by the
Thai 2eo2le) When +e tea,h *o&e one< +e 1u*t do it 2lay/ully) The re*ult
o/ your tea,hing doe* not ,o&e out a* you +i*h) $ +ant to re&ind all o/
you about thi* *o +e ,an *tart the re&edy)
$n giving +arning to the ,hildren< you &u*t re&e&ber veryC +ell +hat
you have already given +arning< +hat tho*e +arning* +ere all about) You
&u*t be ,ertain o/ +hat you told the& the other day* *o you donCt give
another ver*ion o/ the +arning to the ,hildren) To ,hange your in*tru,tion
ba,k and /orth *ho+* the ,hildren that you are ,hangeable and ,annot
be tru*ted) They +ill re&e&ber your *tyle and +ill &ake the *a&e
&i*take again +ithout *ho+ing any re*2e,t to you) $t i* very da&aging)
What to re&e&ber i*< you &u*t kee2 your +ord* at all ti&e*)
Another thing i* the /a,t that it i* ne,e**ary to be a good leader o/
your ,hildren) ;or eFa&2le< to have integrity in your +ork both in /ront
o/ and behind the ,hildren) $n ,a*e o/ taking ,harge o/ your 2eo2le< in
re2ri&anding the *ervant*< and in *2ending &oney< et,)< you &u*t be
de,i*ive< /air< and ,on*i*tent< to your*el/< to the ,hildren and to other
2eo2le)
The in*tru,tion given to the ,hildren &u*t be 2olite and ,o&2ro&i*ing<
*ho+ing *y&2athy and good under*tanding) A/ter you have given
an order< &ake *ure to ,he,k +hether it ha* been done and ho+ good
the +ork i*) $/ it +a* good< you &u*t ,o&2li&ent the&< i/ not you &u*t
a*k the& to do it ,orre,tly) Thi* i* ,alled a /ollo+%u2) The ,hildren +ill
)=:
re*2e,t you and li*ten to your in*tru,tion al+ay*) Ha22y ,hildren< +ho
are good< love to do thing*) They are al*o obedient ,hildren) To threaten
anybody to do *o&ething i* not a 2ro2er thing to do) U*e /lattering +ord*
to &ake the& +ork i* better than u*ing threatening +ord* to /or,e *o&e
one) ;ear never &ake* anybody love the 1ob) But re*2e,t +ill &ake the&
love the +ork al+ay*) Do not tell the& to do *everal thing* at one ti&e)
They +ill be,o&e ,on/u*ed and donCt do the right 1ob) Then ho+ ,an you
*ay they are *tu2idJ
The t+o 2arent* *hould a,t a* having one &ind) You tea,h your ,hildren
in the *a&e +ay) DonCt u*e the *y*te& +here the /ather *aid it +a*
good but the &other *aid it +a* no good) The ,hildren +ill be ,on/u*ed)
They donCt kno+ +ho*e in*tru,tion to /ollo+) Thi* i* the thing you &u*t be
,are/ul) 0ay $ a*k you to think about doing /or the good and the 2rogre**
o/ your ,hildrenJ Anything< +hi,h &ay be ob*tru,ting the 2rogre** o/
your ,hildren< even though it i* /or your ha22ine**< you *hould not do it)
The ,hildren are the /uture o/ your /a&ily)
)=)
Train Children to Tell the Truth
Train Children to Tell the Truth
T
T
HE DHA00A "; THE BUDDHA tea,he* u* t+o +ay* to ,hoo*e /ro&)
"ne +ay i* /or the 2eo2le +ho +ant out ,o&2letely /ro& thi* +orld
be,au*e they *ee that the +orld i* not a 2la,e to bury the&*elve*< to 2o*
*e**< or to be,o&e anything) The Buddha taught +hat to do to rid o/ all
*u//ering ,o&2letely) Another +ay tea,he* tho*e +ho +ant to live in thi*
+orld /or no+ and are ,ontent o/ the u2* and do+n* in thi* +orld *o they
are *ati*/ied to live in thi* +orld on and on) The 2ra,ti,al guideline /or
the 2eo2le at thi* level i* ,alled !ila Dha&&a or &oral 2rin,i2le) $t i* a
general guideline /or tho*e +ho are ,ontent to live in thi* +orld)
There are &any rule* and regulation* to 2ra,ti,e a,,ording to !ila
Dha&&a) Ea,h o/ u* &ay ,hoo*e to /ollo+ either one to *uit our need* a*
a hou*eholder or a lay 2er*on) There i* the Dha&&a e*2e,ially /or ordi
nary 2eo2le *u,h a* tho*e that tea,h u* to have the right belie/< rea*on
able belie/< i)e)< to be hone*t< to be tolerant< to have *el/%,ontrol< and to
have genero*ity) The /our virtue* are needed and they are i&2ortant /or
lay 2eo2le in general be,au*e a grou2 o/ 2eo2le i/ they *tay together and
have no hone*ty a&ong one another< then they +ill be *u*2i,iou* o/ one
another) When they donCt tru*t ea,h other then they +ill al+ay* 2re
2are /or a /ight) Ha22ine** +ill not eFi*t in that ,o&&unity) !o it i* ne,
e**ary that everybody need to be hone*t to+ard* one another) To tea,h
2eo2le to be hone*t< it &u*t be done +hile they are young) We &u*t train
the& to kno+ the value o/ being hone*t and the da&age o/ being de,eit
/ul and al*o to kno+ the di//eren,e bet+een the&) $n tea,hing the*e *ub
1e,t*< it i* a good idea to tell *torie* to ,o&2are hone*t 2eo2le +ith di*
hone*t 2eo2le)
A* a &atter o/ /a,t< ,hildren are *ynony&ou* +ith being inno,ent)
Nor&ally they a,,e2t the kno+ledge /ro& adult* and the environ&ent
all the ti&e) Whatever their /eeling* are< they o/ten eF2re** tho*e /eeling*
right out) They donCt u*ually have any tri,k* u2 their *leeve*) But i/ the
adult* or the nannie* train the& to have a &i*under*tanding about their
)==
behaviour< they &ay 1u*t lie a* a habit +ithout realiBing it) ;or eFa&2le<
*o&e adult* &ay la,k an under*tanding about thi*) When they a*k the
,hildren /or *o&e in/or&ation< they *houted threateningly and a*ked
re2eatedly) $/ the ,hildren talked to the& /ear/ully and he*itatingly< they
o/ten added to their /ear by telling the& not to lie< and to tell the truth)
Even though the ,hildren +ere *2eaking the truth< they did not believe
the& and *till a,,u*ed the& o/ telling lie* any +ay) Te,hniHue like thi*
,reate* negative thought* in the &ind o/ the ,hildren) They &ay think
that +hile they are telling the truth they are being 2uni*hed) DNeFt ti&e
$Cd better not *2eak the +hole truth)E Then they *tart telling lie* until it
be,o&e* their habit and it i* di//i,ult to ,hange) Who i* +rong in thi*
regardJ The +rong 2arty i* the adult*< +ho el*eJ
behaviour< they &ay 1u*t lie a* a habit +ithout realiBing it) ;or eFa&2le<
*o&e adult* &ay la,k an under*tanding about thi*) When they a*k the
,hildren /or *o&e in/or&ation< they *houted threateningly and a*ked
re2eatedly) $/ the ,hildren talked to the& /ear/ully and he*itatingly< they
o/ten added to their /ear by telling the& not to lie< and to tell the truth)
Even though the ,hildren +ere *2eaking the truth< they did not believe
the& and *till a,,u*ed the& o/ telling lie* any +ay) Te,hniHue like thi*
,reate* negative thought* in the &ind o/ the ,hildren) They &ay think
that +hile they are telling the truth they are being 2uni*hed) DNeFt ti&e
$Cd better not *2eak the +hole truth)E Then they *tart telling lie* until it
be,o&e* their habit and it i* di//i,ult to ,hange) Who i* +rong in thi*
regardJ The +rong 2arty i* the adult*< +ho el*eJ
ing
the *eed o/ de,e2tion in the &ind o/ the ,hildren to a ,ertain degree)
;or eFa&2le< a ,hild &ay a*k you< DWhere i* &o&JE You &ay +ant to 2lay
ga&e +ith hi& or her and +ant to *ee the ,hild a,ting a/raid 1u*t /or the
/un o/ it) !o you *aid< DYour &o& +a* arre*ted by the 2oli,e)E When in
/a,t *he +a* not) You +ere 1u*t kidding but the ,hild thought that +a* the
truth and *tarted ,rying loudly) ;or the adult to do that +a* not ,orre,t
and 2ro2er) Adult* *hould never do anything like that to the ,hildren)
!o&eti&e* ,hildren +ant *o&ething but you donCt +ant to give it
to the& even though you have that thing) You told the& that you did
not have it and the ,hildren believed you the /ir*t ti&e) A/ter+ard* they
kne+ that +hat you *aid you did not have< a* a &atter o/ /a,t< you had it
all the ti&e) When the adult* de,eived the ,hildren like that< they +ill
e&ulate the adult*< a *ure +ay /or &any ,hildren to be *2oiled) Plea*e
do not lie to the ,hildren) Whatever you have< +hatever you *ee< +hatever
you kno+< 1u*t tell the& the +ay thing* are) $/ you need to tell the&
not to do anything< tell the& *traight and to the 2oint) Try to under*tand
ea,h other by telling the truth) $t i* better than telling a lie) $t +ill
ea*ily bring da&age to the ,hildren) Plea*e be a+are that< DEvery ,hild
+a* born +ith hone*ty and inno,en,e) .oodne** +a* +ith hi& or her
/ro& birth) DonCt do anything< +hi,h +ill blo,k the 2o*itive eF2re**ion
o/ the ,hildren) Hel2 the& to *ho+ o// the good *ide in the&)
)=?
DonCt &i*under*tand that ,hildren have *o &u,h de,eit/ul thought*)E
There i* one thing to kee2 in &ind) Even though the ,hildren +ill
al+ay* *2eak the truth but it doe* not /ollo+ that they al+ay* under*tand
the &eaning o/ ea,h /a,t o/ the *ituation at hand) You &u*t try to
give the& *o&e advi,e regarding +hat the truth i* and +hat i* not +hen
your ,hildren are +i*e enough to under*tand your eF2lanation) Le*t they
+ill never under*tand +hat the truth i* and +hat i* the real &eaning o/
it) They +ill get ,on/u*ed over the /a,t about the truth and the untruth<
and +ill not be able to di//erentiate bet+een the t+o o/ the&) $/ +e +ill
u*e *o&e ob*ervation you +ill have *een that +hile little ,hildren +ere
2laying a&ong /riend* and they talked to one another they o/ten u*e the
+ord D*u22o*eE) ;or eFa&2le< *u22o*e $ have a lot o/ &oney< or *u22o*e $
have a beauti/ul ,ar< et,) But they donCt really under*tand the di//eren,e
bet+een the +ord D*u22o*eE and the reality) You *hould tea,h the& by
taking 2art in their i&aginary +orld) You *hould *ho+ your a22re,iation
in the i&agination o/ your ,hildren) EF2lain to the& ho+ &u,h di//eren,e
it i* bet+een the D*u22o*eE +orld and the real +orld) And at the
*a&e ti&e *ho+ the& you are ha22y +ith their i&aginary +orld) Tell
the& you under*tand ,learly +hat they are trying to do) When the /eeling*
that Dyou kno+ +hat they are doingE have been ab*orbed into the
&ind o/ the ,hildren< thi* kind o/ /eeling +ill *tay there) $t &ake* the&
a+are o/ being true to the&*elve* all the ti&e) And thi* habit +ill *tay
+ith the& the re*t o/ their live*)
To &ake your talk under*tandable to the ,hildren you &u*t u*e *i&2le
language and &ake it ea*y to ,o&2rehend) Let the& dige*t the in/or&ation
and try to under*tand it their o+n +ay) ;or eFa&2le< +hen they
*u22o*e to be thi* or to do that< in reality it i* not the +ay it +a* *u22o*ed
to be) Like in the ,a*e you *u22o*e that you are going to the &arket) $n
/a,t you are not going to the &arket at all) You are *itting right here and
not +alking any+here) There/ore< to *u22o*e i* not *o&ething +e i&agine
in our &ind and 1u*t *ay it) $/ only thi* and i/ only that< but the reality
i* *o&ething el*e all together)
When your ,hildren gro+ u2 a little bit &ore 1u*t enough to under*tand
+ord*< you ,an eF2lain the &eaning o/ true and untrue) DYou +ent
)=6
+ith your /riend* to Huey #eo >a *&all +ater/all near do+nto+n Chiang
0ai ,ity li&it*@ ye*terday and you told &e you had gone to Huey #eo)
Thi* i* true< be,au*e you had been there) But i/ you ,a&e ho&e and told
&e you had not gone to Huey #eo +ith *o&e o/ your /riend*< then you
did not *2eak the truth) $t +a* again*t a good etiHuette) The Buddha
taught u* not to *ay a lie)E When they ,an under*tand &ore you ,an tea,h
/urther that to *ay *o&ething untrue i* not good) D$/ you *aid it on 2ur2o*e<
that i*< by *aying thing* again*t the /eeling in*ide your o+n &ind<
i)e)< you kno+ it but you *aid you did not kno+G you *a+ it but you *aid
you did not *ee) Tho*e are the lie* on 2ur2o*e or intentional lie*) $t i*
&orally +rong and legally +rong) .ood 2eo2le 1u*t donCt talk like that)E
DWhen you kno+ you have &ade a &i*take< you &u*t ad&it that
your are +rong) A2ologiBe to the 2er*on you lied to and try not to let
that kind o/ talk ha22en)E To do like that i* a *ign o/ good 2eo2le) You
*hould al*o 2oint out /urther the danger o/ lying that< D$/ you lie again
and again< you +ill be a,,u*ed o/ having a /ouled &outh) Nobody like*
a /ouled &outh 2er*on) Everybody +ant* to *tay a+ay /ro& *o&e one
like that) You +ill be le/t alone) $t i* hard to /ind anybody +ho +ill +ant
to 2lay +ith you) You +ind u2 having no /riend*) Any 2er*on< +ho i* a
habitual liar< i* not tru*ted by anyone) You ,annot get hel2 +hen you are
in trouble) $t i* a big 2roble&) !o&e 2eo2le lied in a ,ourt o/ la+ and they
are in 2ri*on) !o&e lie all the ti&e and kno+n by all< +hen they +ant to
*2eak the truth< +hen they need any hel2< everyone think* that thi* guy
i* going to tri,k* on u* again) Nobody +ant* to hel2)E >Tell *tory o/ the
*he2herd boy +ho ,ried +ol/ a* an eFa&2le@)
Any behaviour< +hi,h i* 2ra,ti,ed by adult*< +ill give an o22ortunity
/or the ,hildren to /ollo+ that kind o/ behaviour) The Buddha on,e
*aid< D$t i* a /a,t that i/ the head ,o+ +alk* *traight< the +hole herd o/
,attle +ill +alk *traightG i/ the head ,o+ +alk* ,rookedly< the +hole
herd +ill +alk ,rookedly)E Hi* *aying i* true al+ay*) E*2e,ially in thi*
day and age it i* very true) When a leader +alk* ,rookedly< all the /ollo+er*
+alk ,rookedly) The 2arent* are the leader* o/ a /a&ily) The ,hildren
are the /ollo+er*) Lead the& +ellG the /ollo+er* +ill al*o do +ell)
$n regard to the *2eaking +ay< you &u*t not talk non%*en*ibly<
)=9
unreliably< or untruth/ully) To talk in that +ay +ill be like a ,o&&uni,able
di*ea*e to your ,hildren) Do not leave a &ark o/ evil in your /a&ily
na&e) Nor&ally< ,hildren +ill re,eive thing* ea*ily) $/ you allo+ the& to
hear you lie they +ill a,,e2t that and +ill talk your +ay) When you /orbid
the&< they +ill not *to2) $/ you +ant to 2uni*h the& they +ill a,,u*e
you o/ being hy2o,riti,al) They +ill *ay that you al*o lied and +hen other
2eo2le lie you *ay it i* not good) The re*2e,t /or you +ill begin to di*integrate
and that i* a beginning o/ the road to di*a*ter) They +ant to ,ontinue
to /ight +ith you in the +rong +ay) The +hole thing i* the /ault o/
the adult* and then they are tran*2orted to the ,hildren) We have to be
very ,are/ul) The Buddha on,e *aid< DYou +ant to tea,h anybody anythingG
&ake that thing eFi*t in you /ir*t) You +ill not be,o&e a ,on/u*ed
tea,her)E !o the 2arent* &u*t be e*2e,ially ,are/ul about thi*
2roble&)
$/ your ,hildren did *o&ething +rong and you ,all the& to a*k about
it) !o&e o/ the& +ill not ad&it they have done +rong) But *o&e +ill
ad&it that they have a,tually done +rong) The rea*on +hy the ,hildren
do not ad&it the /a,t i* &o*tly due to /ear< be,au*e *o&e 2arent* are *o
vi,iou* they +ill ,all /or the ,hildren to ,o&e and beat the& even +ithout
a*king /or the detail*) A/ter a*king the ,hildren and they did not
talk< they +ould beat the& even &ore) The rea*on the ,hildren did not
talk +a* 2robably due to the /a,t that they +ere hurt /ro& being beaten
+ithout the 2arent* kno+ing the /a,t*) When a*ked they +ould re/u*e
or +ould tell an untrue ver*ion o/ the *tory) Thi* i* another +ay to &ake
the ,hildren turn badly a* +ell) You are gro+n%u2* you *hould not be
hotheaded) Do not 2uni*h the ,hildren +ithout a*king /or the /a,t* /ir*t)
The +ay o/ Hue*tioning &u*t be done gently) Do not Hue*tion +hile you
are *till angry) $/ the ,hildren ad&itted that they have &ade a &i*take<
do not 2uni*h the&) Tho*e +ho begin to kno+ they had done +rong are
on the road to be good 2er*on*) The ,hildren +ho kne+ they +ere +rong
,an be good in the /uture) !ho+ the& that to do good deed* i* really good
/or the&) To ,on/e** i* a good thing) ;orgive the& a* a re+ard) EF2lain
to the& that *2eaking the truth i* a virtue) The ,hildren +ho ,on/e**ed
o/ their *in are al*o good 2eo2le) They +ill /eel that they are re+arded /or
)=I
doing good deed*< they are 2uni*hed +hen they did +rong) !o they +ill
2ay attention and ,on,entrate on being good in the /uture)
doing good deed*< they are 2uni*hed +hen they did +rong) !o they +ill
2ay attention and ,on,entrate on being good in the /uture)
ing
u2 your ,hildren both 2hy*i,ally and &entally) You have hel2ed build
the Thai nation by bringing u2 your ,hildren to be good 2eo2le a* you
2roudly de*erve and you +ill not be troubled by any un+hole*o&e in,ident
in the /uture)
)=5
Train Children to be Pun,tual
M to #no+ the -alue o/ Ti&e
DEAR PARENT!<
$
$
TRA-ELLED UP C"UNTRY to the 2rovin,e* to talk to the 2eo2le &any
ti&e* ea,h year) Every ti&e the o//i,ial* o/ ea,h 2rovin,e invited &e)
They +ould announ,e the ti&e and the 2la,e /or the 2eo2le to ,o&e
*o&eti&e* a* a +hole *ub%di*tri,t or t+o *ub%di*tri,t* at one 2la,e a*
,onvenien,e) $ ob*erved that our Thai 2eo2le +ould *lo+ly arrive) $/ the
ti&e +a* *,heduled at 4):: A)0)< +hen that ti&e arrived there +ould be
very /e+ 2eo2le at that 2la,e) The *2ee,h then &u*t al+ay* be 2o*t2oned
to ):):: A)0) The *ituation +a* like that be,au*e +e *ee&ed to a22re,iate
the ti&e very little) Unlike in a develo2ed ,ountry< they ,on*idered the
ti&e &o*t i&2ortant) $/ there +ere an a22oint&ent +ith anybody< any+here<
at any ti&e< they +ould al+ay* be 2un,tual) To &i** an a22oint&ent
ti&e i* ,on*idered very bad &anner)
Buddhi*& ,ontain* *o&e tea,hing in variou* 2la,e* /or the 2eo2le to
a22re,iate the value o/ ti&e) ;or eFa&2le in the Dha&&a on the -irtue*
o/ a gentle&an and a lady< there i* #alannuta< kno+ing the 2ro2er ti&e
to 2er/or& any +ork) $t ,on*ider* that the 2eo2le +ho a22re,iate the
ti&e are good 2eo2le) There i* al*o in another 2la,e +here it tea,he* the
Buddhi*t 2eo2le to re&ind the&*elve* al+ay* that< DDay* and night*
are 2a**ing byG +hat are +e doing at the &o&entJE To tea,h u* to think
like that i* to re&ind u* to a22re,iate the value o/ ti&e< +hi,h i* 2a**ing
through our live*) The ti&e that ha* 2a**ed ,an never be brought ba,k
again) A +i*e &an< +ho kno+* to &ake good u*e o/ hi* li/e< +ill &ake
every *e,ond ,ount* by doing +ork) Be,au*e the i&2ortant ti&e o/ our
live* i* only one *e,ond< the golden *e,ond /or everyone< +hen it 2a**ed< it
+ill not be returned by any &ean*) The Buddha tea,he* u*< DTi&e ,he+*
u2 it* o+n *el/< it ,he+* u2 all *entient being*)E Not only the ti&e and
the &inute* that 2a**ed u* by but the live* o/ our* al*o 2a**ed by) "ne
*e,ond i* gone) $t &ean* our youth i* one *e,ond le**) "ld age i* ,ree2ing
u2 on our live*)
)=8
Tho*e +ho donCt kno+ the value o/ ti&e are *lo+ in doing any u*e/ul
/un,tion*) They are not ,on,erned about the dutie* that need to be 2er/or&ed)
They 1u*t *2end the ti&e +alking around< *itting and talking in
a bull *e**ion or 1u*t *i&2ly lying do+n DlaBy boy *tyleE) There are too
&any o/ that kind o/ 2eo2le in Thailand) They all donCt kno+ about the
ti&e) Even though they have on their +ri*t a beauti/ul +at,h) They ,on*ider
it 1u*t a 2ie,e o/ 1e+ellery and never u*e it to kee2 the ti&e o/ their
a22oint&ent) Tho*e 2eo2le are 2iti/ul)
When $ +a* travelling in Aa2an in Tokyo in the &orning< $ +ent out
to +at,h the 2eo2le +alking on the road*) The ti&e +a* around 8):: A)0)
$ *a+ a great nu&ber o/ 2eo2le< in grou2*< running along the road*) At
/ir*t $ +a* /rightened /or /ear that *o&ething bad &u*t have ha22ened)
The /ir*t grou2 ran 2a**ed &e< then a ne+ grou2 ,a&e and gone) $ learned
later that it +a* the train /ro& the out*kirt* o/ the ,ity< +hi,h brought the
2eo2le /ro& ho&e to +ork) When the train arrived at the *tation the 2a**enger*
,a&e out 1u&2ing /ro& the *ub+ay *tation to +ork) They did not
have &u,h ti&e *o they had to run again the ti&e to *2end every *e,ond
to good u*e) ThatC* +hy their ,ountry i* ri,h< *table and 2rogre**ing)
Thai 2eo2le do not kno+ the value o/ ti&e) We *till +alk lei*urely to
go any+here) The good thing*< the beauti/ul thing*< +hi,h *hould belong
to u*< have gone into the hand* o/ other 2eo2le*) $n the 2re*ent ti&e< our
,ountry ha* begun to develo2 the hu&an re*our,e*) We are in the &iddle
o/ the ,o&2etitive +orld) The +eakling* +ill lo*e /or *ure) Every one
o/ u* &u*t be Hui,k and alertG and &u*t +ork to ,o&2ete +ith the ti&e)
;or the elder 2eo2le< +ho are u*ed to being ,o&/ortable< are a,,u*to&ed
to doing a* they 2lea*e< their nu&ber i* getting /e+er and /e+er) They
are dying and be/ore long they +ill be all gone) The young one* and the
,hildren are gro+ing to be the adult* o/ the /uture) We ,an no longer be
a *lo+ 2oke< +ho doe* not re*2e,t the ti&e) We have to revolutioniBe
our +ay o/ living< our +ay o/ +orking and our *o,ial li/e and bring all o/
the& u2 to the level o/ the *te2* taken by tho*e o/ other ,ountrie*) Who
el*e ,an a,,e2t thi* duty eF,e2t the 2arent*< +ho have dire,t re*2on*ibility
in thi* regardJ You &u*t hel2 to ,reate a habit o/ 2un,tuality in your
,hildren) They &u*t re*2e,t the ti&e /ro& very young age) The Hue*
)=4
tion i* ho+ +e are going to train the ,hildren in regard to the ti&e) 0ay
$ leave you a +ord o/ advi,e to re&e&ber< DThe 2arent* and the nanny
,an &ake or break the ,hildren)E Everything de2end* on the 2arent*
*o you &u*t *tudy thi* *ub1e,t thoroughly to hel2 i&2rove the *ituation)
tion i* ho+ +e are going to train the ,hildren in regard to the ti&e) 0ay
$ leave you a +ord o/ advi,e to re&e&ber< DThe 2arent* and the nanny
,an &ake or break the ,hildren)E Everything de2end* on the 2arent*
*o you &u*t *tudy thi* *ub1e,t thoroughly to hel2 i&2rove the *ituation)
uation
in our /a&ily to be &ore orderly) ;or eFa&2le< in having your
&eal*< you *hould do it at regular interval* and not 1u*t do it any ti&e
a* i* ha22ening right no+) $n +ork< in re,reation and in *2ort*< +hi,h
*hould bring ha22ine** to your /a&ily< you *hould do it in orderly /a*hion)
"rderly 2er*on* +ill be able to a,,o&2li*h any +ork they do) The
order in our /a&ily de2end* on u*) Tho*e +ho re*2e,t the ti&e are
+ell organiBed) And tho*e +ho are +ell organiBed +ill *2end the ti&e
a22ro2riate to the +ork at all ti&e*) When you have i&2roved the *ituation
in your /a&ily< +hen it i* ti&e /or the 2regnan,y o/ the +i/e< the
baby in the tu&&y o/ the &other +ill re,eive good thing* /ro& the good
heart o/ the &other)
A/ter birth< you *hould train the baby to be 2un,tual right a+ay by
u*ing regular /eeding ti&e*) When it i* not ti&e /or /eeding< do not give
the baby the &ilk) !o&e &other* ,o&2lain that< D0y baby i* bothering
&e *o &u,h) $ have to take ,are o/ hi& all the ti&e) $ have to /eed hi&
al+ay*)E Who &ade the baby /u**y like thatJ Who el*e but the &other o/
that baby +ho &ade hi& ,ryJ The &other la,k* 2atient and *he be,o&e*
unrea*onable +henever the baby *tart* ,rying) When her baby ,rie*< *he
think* it +a* due to hunger and *he *tu//* the ni22le in hi* &outh al&o*t
auto&ati,ally) The baby al+ay* ,ling* to her and i* al+ay* /u**y) The
&other *hould have been &ore tolerant o/ the ,rying noi*e o/ the baby)
Be,au*e babyC* ,ry i* *o&eti&e* good /or the baby< +e only have to /ind
out +hat i* +rong) $/ +e ,an /iF the *ituation< +e 1u*t have to do it) $/ there
i* nothing +rong and the baby 1u*t ,rie* be,au*e he +ant* *o&e one to
,on*ole hi&< i/ you hu&our hi& all the ti&e< it i* a +ay to +eaken the
&ind o/ the baby unne,e**arily) !o the &other *hould be ,are/ul about
thi* to hel2 build a *trong ,hara,ter in the ,hildren)
;eeding ti&e* *hould be /iFed) $t +ill hel2 the ,hildren to kno+ 2un,tuality)
The hu&an body ,an be trained in eating< *lee2ing< toilet u*e< et,)
)?:
$/ the training i* done a,,ording to the ti&etable< every thing ,an really
be done a,,ording to a *,hedule) The 2arent* *hould /ollo+ the guideline
o/ de/inite /eeding ti&e*) $/ it i* not the ti&e< 1u*t do not give any &ild
to the baby) Be*ide /eeding the baby< bathing< *lee2ing< and bo+el &ove&ent
*hould al+ay* be done 2un,tually in order that the baby +ill learn
to do thing* at the *et ti&e* /ro& very young age) The*e are the training
+hile they are very young) $t i* to 2lant the *eed o/ 2un,tuality in the
early *tage o/ li/e) They +ill under*tand a little bit about having re*2e,t
/or the ti&e)
The neFt *te2 i* +hen your ,hildren have gone beyond that 2oint)
They +ill naturally have &ore thing* to doG they have &ore to do +ith
their /riend*) They &u*t behave the&*elve* in *u,h a +ay a* to be *uitable
to the 2rogre** in thi* +orld) The 2arent* &u*t a,t a* a guide /or the&
to do thing* ,orre,tly< a,tively< and alertly) A *lo+ 2oke +ill al+ay* be in
the ba,k o/ the 2a,k and ,annot ,o&2ete +ith anybody in ter& o/ &aking
a living) The 2arent* &u*t try hard to /ollo+ u2 on the daily a,tivitie*
o/ your ,hildren) ;or eFa&2le< to go to bed at the ti&e *et /or hi* or her
age grou2) A/ter the ti&e ha* been *et< then the /ollo+%u2 &u*t be done
to ,ontrol the real *ituation) Wake u2 ti&e &u*t be *et and they &u*t be
re&inded to /ollo+ the rule by telling the& to +ake u2 at that 2arti,ular
ti&e) Tell the& that< DThe Buddha +oke u2 very early< be/ore all hu&an)
And he +oke u2 early until the day he died)E The Thai 2eo2le< +ho are
the di*,i2le* o/ the Buddha< &u*t +ake u2 early al+ay*) Tea,h the ,hildren
to *et the +ake%u2 ti&e be/ore going to bed by telling one *el/ to
+ake u2 at *u,h and *u,h ti&e) The body +ill u*ually /ollo+ the dire,tion
o/ the &ind) When the +ake%u2 ti&e arrive*< they +ill a+ake) A/ter
that donCt go ba,k to *lee2) Try to get ,o&2letely out o/ the bedroo&) $/
a/ter +aking u2 you go ba,k to *lee2 again< you +ill have a &ind that i*
+andering around and +ill drea& about *o&ething very ,on/u*ing)
Waking u2 i* a +ay to tell you that your body ha* re*ted enough)
When you are a+ake< get u2 i&&ediately) Wa*h your /a,e and ,lean u2
be/ore getting on +ith your +ork at hand) ;or eFa&2le< reading a book<
+riting or doing your le**on* until break/a*t ti&e arrive*) The 2arent*
*hould get u2 be/ore the ,hildren and take ,are to *ee the& +aking u2)
)?)
Break/a*t *hould al*o be on ti&eG go to *,hool on ti&e and to ,o&e ho&e
/ro& *,hool on ti&e a* +ell) $/ your ,hildren ,o&e ho&e late< you &u*t
2ay attention by a*king /or the rea*on /or being late) You &u*t a*k the&
to give a rea*on) You &u*t +arn the& i/ they did not have good enough
rea*on* and *ho+ 2lea*ure +hen they have good rea*on*< *u,h a*< being
late be,au*e he +a* +at,hing *o,,er< *eeing a /riend to hi* hou*e< or going
*ho22ing at the &arket) The 2arent* *hould not a,t indi//erently regarding
the ,o&ing and going o/ your ,hildren)
!o&e 2arent* are very +rong about thi* i**ue) They donCt 2ay attention
at all about their ,hildren going to *,hool) Even ,o&ing ho&e in the
evening i* not any ,on,ern to the&) The 2arent* a,ting like that *hould
be ,on*idered an a,,e**ory to the evil your ,hildren are ,o&&itting) $t
+ill de*troy your ,hildren in the long run) You &u*t avoid doing that a*
&u,h a* 2o**ible) Be*ide* eating< *lee2ing and going to *,hool< even 2laying
*2ort* *hould have a *,hedule a* +ell) The 2arent* *hould not allo+
the ,hildren to 2lay and en1oy it *o &u,h that they /orget to eat or to
bathe) Doing that i* ,reating a bad habit in another +ay)
Children in general have /riend*) !o they +ill naturally have a date
to go out +ith one another) !o&eti&e* they go out +ith the tea,her*)
The 2arent* &u*t 2ay attention about +hat i* going on +ith the ,hildren)
You *hould be the one to re&ind the& o/ the a22ointed ti&e) DonCt let
the& &i** the date be,au*e to do that i* very bad &anner) $t i* a duty o/
the 2arent* to re&ind the& a* a22ro2riate) And the 2arent* the&*elve*
*hould do the *a&e) They *hould not be /orget/ul i/ they have agreed to
do anything +ith the ,hildren and at a ,ertain ti&e) You &u*t al+ay* be
2un,tual) The gro+n%u2* +ho are 2un,tual are the one* +ho lead the
,hildren to do thing* a,,ording to a *,hedule) $t i* a good +ay to ,reate
+hole*o&e habit* in the ,hildren)
To do thing* al+ay* 2un,tually i* not only a good habit o/ +orking
in an orderly /a*hion< but al*o i* an attribute other 2eo2le ad&ire) Your
+ork +ill tend to 2rogre**) When the 2eo2le ,o&e to your o//i,e< they
,an be ,ertain to *ee you and the +ork +ill be 2er/or&ed in an orderly
&anner) $t i* al*o a 2o+er/ul +ay /or you to 2o**e** an eF,ellent 2hy*i,al
and &ental health) CiviliBed 2eo2le ,on*ider the ti&e i* i&2ortant and
)?=
they al+ay* re*2e,t the ti&e< +hi,h they have 2lanned ahead)
they al+ay* re*2e,t the ti&e< +hi,h they have 2lanned ahead)
tual
only at Huitting ti&e) Co&e to +ork on ti&e and go ho&e al*o on
ti&e) You have an a22oint&ent +ith +ho&< +here< and at +hat ti&e< you
&u*t al+ay* be 2un,tual) Tho*e +ho are 2un,tual are likable and *hould
be a**o,iated +ith) "n the ,ontrary< tho*e +ho are not 2un,tual are not
to be a**o,iated +ith) $n the /uture< the +orld need* the 2eo2le +ho
kno+ the ti&e< re*2e,t the ti&e< and tho*e +ho are 2un,tual) The 2arent*
*hould 2ay attention in training your*elve* and in tea,hing your ,hildren
to be truly 2un,tual) $t +ill be an honourable thing to do /or your /a&ily
and al*o to hel2 in the 2rogre** o/ Thailand in the right dire,tion)
)??
Train Your Children to Have Di*,i2line
Train Your Children to Have Di*,i2line
E
E
-ERY "NE< +ho i* a Buddhi*t< &u*t have been in a te&2le +here
Buddha i&age* are on di*2lay) You &u*t have *een a big Buddha
i&age< +hi,h i* *u22o*ed to be the 2rin,i2al i&age in that te&2le) $n
/ront o/ thi* big i&age there i* likely to be a grou2 o/ *&all table* +ith
beauti/ul gold de,orative 2attern*) "n tho*e table beauti/ul /lo+er* adorn)
They are the kind* that kee2 relatively /re*h /or a long ti&e< *u,h a*< the
a&aranth*< et,) There are all kind* o/ /lo+er* in the ve*t*) EF2ert /lori*t*
+ho &ake u* /eel +onder/ul beyond +ord* arranged tho*e /lo+er*
*o beauti/ully) All other uten*il* +ere al*o 2ut a+ay in orderly &anner)
Anything arranged ni,ely and *y*te&ati,ally &ake* 2eo2le /eel relaFed
and ,o&/ortable) $n ,a*e o/ the /lo+er*< they +ere ,olle,ted /ro& *everal
2la,e*< *u,h a*< the lotu* /ro& the big 2ond< the tuber ro*e* /ro& the garden<
the ro*e* /ro& the ro*e garden and &any other /lo+er*) All o/ the&
+ere 2ut together in one 2la,e and arti*ti,ally arranged &aking the&
looked *o beauti/ul) "rderly arrange&ent* like tho*e &ake /or beauty<
+hi,h i* good /or both the &ind and the eye*)
When +e entered the garden*< +here the o+ner* +ere good at arranging
and 2lanting +e /elt very ha22y /or they have 2lanned the *2a,e* /or
gro+ing the 2lant* *o +ell) What really &ade u* ha22yJ $t +a* be,au*e
+e *a+ beauti/ul thing*< +hi,h +ere arranged ni,ely and *y*te&ati,ally)
$n general< there +ere &any ,ar* running all over on the *treet* all
the ti&e in &o*t /oreign ,ountie*) But nobody *ee&ed to have any need
/or the horn in the ,ar) Why didnCt they u*e the hornJ Be,au*e the 2ede*trian*
kne+ +here they *hould be +alking *o they +alked in orderly
&anner +ithout any 2roble&*) !o the ,ar* did not need to u*e the horn<
+hi,h i* naturally very noi*y) The 2ede*trian* +ere ha22y and the driver*
+ere al*o ha22y)
The City o/ Pari* in ;ran,e i* ,on*idered by the 2eo2le o/ the +orld
to be one o/ the &o*t beauti/ul ,itie* on earth) And beauty i* not about
2retty +o&en or *trange looking *ho+* but the beauty o/ Pari* i* the
)?6
elaborate de*ign* o/ the road* and other gorgeou*ly digni/ied edi/i,e*)
$/ +e have a gra** la+n in /ront o/ our hou*e and +e kee2 it u2 and
&aintain it +ell< the gra** i* *o green and look* like ,ar2et) Every ti&e +e
look at it +e /eel *o good) Anything in good order< +e +ould *ay it i* beauti/ul)
Everybody love* beauty) !o everybody *hould arrange thing* in
orderly /a*hion all the ti&e to hel2 ,reate an order in our ,o&&unity)
$n the 2re*ent ti&e< the *,hool* have be,o&e *tri,ter in 2ro&oting
order) ;or eFa&2le< they &aintain the la+n in /ront o/ the *,hool to look
really ni,e) They gro+ all kind* o/ 2lant* +ith beauti/ul /lo+er* and *o&e
+ith beauti/ul leave*) Drinking +ater and non 2otable +ater are 2rovided
at their 2ro2er 2la,e*) !o&e *,hool* even have di//erent kind* o/ or,hid*
a* another de,orative 2lant) All kind o/ tool* and eHui2&ent are 2rovided
and 2ut in their 2la,e*) Thi* i* one +ay to train the *tudent* to be ,on*,iou*
o/ order and di*,i2line)
Buddhi*& ha* a lot o/ 2rin,i2le* relating to order) E*2e,ially a&ong
the &onk*< the rule* are very *tri,t) A &onk ha* to +ear hi* robe +ell)
He &u*t *it< *tand and +alk 2ro2erly) The abode* &u*t be ke2t ni,e
and ,lean +ith all the 2o**e**ion* 2ut a+ay in good order) Even the toilet*
&u*t be ,lean and ni,ely arranged at all ti&e*) The 2eo2le +ho are
orderly +ill have a beauti/ul &ind but tho*e +ho are di*orderly +ill
have an un+hole*o&e &ind< they +ill be ,arele** a* a habit) We have
very /e+ 2eo2le in our ,ountry< +ho re*2e,t order) 0o*t o/ u* love to do
thing* a* +e 2lea*e) When +e travel any+here< +e eat anything and +e
thro+ garbage all over the 2la,e) The banana leave* and /ruit 2eeling* litter
the *treet*) "n the train in Thailand +e *ee *o &u,h *ugar ,ane< +ater
&elon *eed hu*k* all over) Tho*e thing* are a re*ult o/ the 2eo2leC* di*re*2e,t
/or rule* and order) $t i* eFtre&ely ne,e**ary /or all o/ u*< +ho +i*h
to *ee ha22ine** and 2ro*2erity in our ,ountry to 2ay &ore attention
in training our*elve* to ob*erve good order) And the training &u*t be
done /ro& ,hildhood) But in tea,hing the ,hildren< the adult* &u*t al*o
be an eFa&2le be,au*e eFa&2le i* the be*t tea,her)
When $ +a* a little boy $ +ent to *tay +ith Luong Loong >un,le@
+ho +a* a &onk at a te&2le) $ learned a lot /ro& hi&) Even though he
did not *ay &u,h but he *ho+ed &e a great deal by doing) And he did
)?9
like that all the ti&e) All hi* belonging* +ere 2ut in 2ro2er 2la,e* and
orderly arranged) ;or eFa&2le< all tea,u2* &u*t be 2la,ed to *ho+ the
handle* lining u2 in the *a&e dire,tion) Book* &u*t be arranged by their
*iBe* /ro& big one* to *&all one*) Nothing in hi* abode +hi,h +ere not
arranged in orderly /a*hion) He +ore hi* robe* ni,ely) Even though there
+a* no gue*t< he +ould *it 2ri&ly ,ro**%legged on the /loor +ith hi* ba,k
*traight al+ay*) !o&eti&e* +e 2layed around in*ide the abode +hile
he +a* a+ay) We 2i,ked u2 hi* thing* and did not 2ut the& ba,k in the
right 2la,e* and not eFa,tly in the *a&e &anner he al+ay* did) When he
returned he *,olded u* /or ,o&ing to 2lay over there and over here) !in,e
+e +ere *till little +e did not under*tand hi* *y*te& *o +e +ere +ondering
ho+ he ,ould have kno+n +hat +e did be,au*e +e thought a/ter +e
2layed +ith hi* belonging*< everything +a* 2ut ba,k +here it +a*) We
did not realiBe that +e did not 2ut the& ba,k in the *a&e +ay they +ere
done by hi& *o +e +ere *,olded) !in,e +e all *tayed +ith hi& /or a long
ti&e thi* habit o/ 2utting thing* a+ay in their 2ro2er 2la,e* *tay +ith
u*) ;ro& our ob*ervation +e kne+ +hat it +a* like to be orderly) But
+e kne+ that +hen +e rea,hed our adulthood) At any rate the love /or
beauty and orderline** ha22ened in our heart /ro& that ti&e on) Every
i&age o/ orderline** al+ay* &ake* an i&2re**ion on oneC* &ind)
$ have ob*erved that *o&e ,hildren loved to do thing* an ea*y +ay<
too ea*y really) $n the &orning they +oke u2 and got dre**ed *i&2ly by
having their *hirt out*ide the 2ant*) The belt +a* hanging all over) Book*
and notebook* +ere ,arried +ithout any regard /or order) The hair +a*
not ,o&bedG the teeth +ere not bru*hedG the nail* +ere dirty and /ull
o/ dirt) They +ent to *,hool looking like a ragged doll) $n the a/ternoon
ba,k at ho&e< they took o// the ,lothe* and thre+ the& a+ay all over the
2la,e) Book* +ere thro+n on the /loor) They grabbed a toy and 1u&2ed
out +ithout thinking o/ taking a bath) When dinner ti&e ,a&e< the
&other had to *hout /or the&)
They ,a&e and ate like 2ig* +ithout +a*hing the dirt out o/ the
body and the hand*) Bedti&e ,a&e and they *le2t 1u*t like that) $/ they
had ho&e+ork< they did not do it be,au*e they 1u*t en1oyed the&*elve*
2laying) $n the &orning they did the ho&e+ork hurriedly) !o&e o/ the
)?I
an*+er* +ere +rong< *o&e +ere ,orre,t) Then they le/t /or *,hool) They
+ere late /or *,hool very o/ten too)
an*+er* +ere +rong< *o&e +ere ,orre,t) Then they le/t /or *,hool) They
+ere late /or *,hool very o/ten too)
ing*
a* their naughty hand* +ould dra+ on tho*e 2age*) When they
returned ho&e< the book* +ere di*,arded all over) When they ,ould
not /ind the&< they be,a&e irritated and bla&ed that other 2eo2le took
the&) They +ere +rong but did not kno+ it at all)
Children like that did not have any di*,i2line) They +ere allo+ed to
have no di*,i2line *in,e they +ere little) A/ter they gre+ u2< they +ere
real &e**y) When they +orked any+here they +ould do the +ork ,arele**ly)
They did their 1ob +ithout eF2e,ting any good re*ult) The 1ob never
2rogre**ed) They did not +ork the +ay they +ere *u22o*ed to) Any 1ob
+hi,h *hould be done /ir*t< +ould be done la*t) When they +ere told to
/ini*h< they 1u*t did it in a hurry) The 1ob +a* /ini*hed but +ith *o &u,h
/la+* and de/i,ien,ie*) When they +ere *,olded< they ,o&2lained that
the bo** +a* too *tri,t and al+ay* *,olded the& +ithout allo+ing the&
the ti&e to breathe) They +ere at /ault but never ad&itted it) Why donCt
you try thinking about that 1u*t a littleJ
$/ there +ere lot* o/ 2eo2le like that in a big organiBation +ith eFten*ive
o2eration*< ho+ ,ould any 1ob get doneJ $n a ,ountry +here there
are 2eo2le< +ho la,k &ental di*,i2line but +ant to be big and i&2ortant
in order to be able to ,olle,t in large a&ount any &oney /or their o+n
bene/it< they ,a&e in to rule the ,ountry) The ,ountry +ill be +ithout
any order< it +ill la,k /airne** and all the +ork +ill be done badly) The
2rogre** o/ the ,ountry +ill never be realiBed through tho*e 2eo2le +ho
are not di*,i2lined) When the /oreigner* ,o&e to vi*it our ,ountry< they
+ould look do+n u2on u* be,au*e they kno+ our nation la,k* di*,i2line)
$t i* very e&barra**ing)
The Thai 2eo2le in general< 2ardon &e /or *aying< are very laF) They
need &ore training /or both the&*elve* and their ,hildren to have a
lot &ore di*,i2line) That i* +hy Thailand i* *o /ull o/ dirtine** o/ all
kind*) Perha2* +e have no /eeling* about thi* in &u,h the *a&e +ay
)?5
a* the +or&* in a /ilthy 2la,e< +hi,h +ould not /eel that the 2la,e +a*
/ilthy at all) But i/ +e travelled in a /oreign ,ountry +here it had di*,i2line
and order and then returned to our o+n ,ountry< +e +ould *ee the
la,k o/ di*,i2line and order all to ,learly) "ur ho&e* are &o*tly not tidy
and totally in di*array) We 2ut our belonging* any+here +e +ant) We
eat any+here +e 2lea*e) We dre** the +ay +e /eel like) Even in an under
*hirt or a birthday *uit >naked@< +e *till go out on the *treet* in broad
daylight) !o&e ladie* 2ut on a &atador 2ant* like a bull/ighter in !2ain
and ,o&e to the te&2le) Even big building* in our ,ountry *till look di*orderly
and they la,k ,oordinated 2lanning and de*ign*)
The Thai* in general love /reedo&) We love to do thing* our +ay)
Everyone love* /reedo&) And in the training o/ our ,hildren +e believe
in not blo,king the gro+th o/ the &ind and the brain o/ the ,hildren)
We allo+ the& to have /reedo& to think /or the&*elve* all the +ay) $ /or
one have the *a&e idea about thi*) But ,o&e to think o/ it< everything
&u*t have a li&it) Without any li&it thing* +ill get out o/ the boundary
and it +ill turn out badly later on) !o +e *hould li&it the /reedo& to
*o&e degree and do not allo+ thing* to ha22en a* i/ +e had no 2rin,i2le)
Nor&ally hu&an &ind i* in a *tate o/ running all the ti&e) $/ there
i* no ,ontrol at all +e +ill 1u*t go all out and lo*e it) $t i* ne,e**ary to *et
*o&e guideline* to train our &ind to get u*ed to being in a li&ited *2a,e
and boundary) "r el*e +e +ill be in trouble a* adult*) There &u*t be la+
and order and ,ertain ,u*to&* and tradition*) Re&e&ber that li/e +ithout
di*,i2line i* the li/e o/ a *avage%like ani&al) Hu&an being i* noble
&inded be,au*e +e have di*,i2line and order to 2rote,t u*) All good &en
have di*,i2line /or the&< /or their /a&ily and /or their +ork) $n other
+ord*< they have di*,i2line all the ti&e) !oldier* +ho +alk in ro+* in uni*on
look ni,e and orderly) $/ *o&e one ,o&e* out o/ a ro+ then they donCt
look ni,e any &ore) $* that rightJ ;or thi* rea*on< the 2arent* *hould not
negle,t to train your ,hildren to have di*,i2line) Ho+ good the /uture o/
your ,hildren +ill be de2end* on ho+ good you have trained the&)
;ro& the day your ,hildren ,a&e out o/ their &other< you &u*t begin
i&&ediately to train the&) ;or eFa&2le< to begin /eeding the& on ti&e)
When they gro+ u2 enough to be able to 2lay< they &u*t 2lay on a *,hed
)?8
uled ti&e) $n *lee2ing< +e have to train the& to have di*,i2line a* +ell<
i)e) *lee2ing on ti&e) To take the& out /or a +alk &u*t be done on ti&e)
You &u*t dre** the& 2ro2erly and in a ,lean out/it) Children around
679 year* old< +ho have re,eived good u2bringing +ill *truggle and ,ry i/
you donCt ,hange their dre**e* be/ore taking the& out o/ the hou*e)
A/ter the ,hildren ,an *it< you *hould tea,h the& to *it *traight) You
al+ay* *it *traight your*el/ to *ho+ the& a good eFa&2le) There &u*t
be an a2ron around their ne,k and a na2kin +hen 2utting /ood in their
&outh) Al*o donCt &ake a big &e** +ith the /ood) $/ they get dirty< tea,h
the& to u*e the na2kin) $/ they ,an eat by the&*elve*< tea,h the& to u*e
a /ork and a *2oon 2ro2erly and to have 2ro2er table &anner) $/ *everal
o/ the& eat together< tea,h the& to *hare a neutral *2oon and to kno+
ho+ to u*e it ,orre,tly) 0ake *ure they under*tand that a *2oon on,e
u*ed to 2ut in oneC* &outh *hould not be u*ed to ladle out the *ou2 in
the big bo+l)
Toilet training i* a &u*t and the ti&e *hould be /iFed) When it i*
ti&e tell the& to go and *it) Eating *hould be on ti&e and *o i* the bo+el
&ove&ent)
When they go to *,hool< you have to 2ay *2e,ial attention to the&)
Tea,h the& to 2ut a+ay their ,lothe*< *tationary< and toy* in orderly
/a*hion) They &u*t read and +rite a,,ording to a ti&etable) 0ake *ure
they do their ho&e+ork) Book*< notebook*< 2en*< and other *tu// &u*t
be ni,e and ,lean al+ay*) They &u*t go to *,hool on ti&e< 2lay *2ort* on
ti&e) When they return ho&e< they have to *ee the 2arent* /ir*t *o they
,an *ee +hether all the *tu//* and the dre**e* are in good order) Then tell
the& to 2ut the& a+ay in their 2ro2er 2la,e*) Then they ,an go take a
bath and have *o&ething to eat be/ore dinner) $t i* your duty to in*2e,t
all the belonging* o/ your ,hildren to &ake *ure that they are in good
order at all ti&e*) When the ,hildren have di*,i2line and order< they +ill
have di*,i2line and order a* adult* al*o)
"ur ,ountry o/ Thailand +ill be,o&e a ,ountry o/ di*,i2line and
order be,au*e o/ the 2arent* +ho hel2 to train the ,hildren /ro& the
beginning) $t i* u2 to you to do the 1ob right /or the&)
)?4
Train Children Not to be .reedy
M to Re*2e,t "ther Peo2leC* Right*
Train Children Not to be .reedy
M to Re*2e,t "ther Peo2leC* Right*
B
B
UDDH$!T DHA00A tea,he* ho+ to rid o/ *u//ering and unha22ine**
a* the &o*t i&2ortant to2i, be,au*e it i* the 2roble& ,on/ronting
all o/ u*) When +e are unha22y +e +ant to get over it) But *o&e 2eo2le
,annot /ind a *olution +hile *o&e 2eo2le ,an) To be able to do that or not
de2end* on being kno+ledgeable or being ignorant) Whoever kno+* the
,au*e o/ unha22ine** and get* rid o/ that ,au*e< the unha22ine** and *u//ering
+ill al*o go a+ay)
What are the ,au*e* o/ *u//ering in the +orldJ A Dha&&a 2rin,i2le
*tate* ,learly that de*ire i* a ,au*e o/ *u//ering in our li/e) All *entient
being* have de*ire< &ore or le** de2ending on the ,ir,u&*tan,e* *urrounding
ea,h one o/ the&)
A* *oon a* the ,hildren get out o/ the &other< they al+ay* have a
de*ire) They +ant &ilk to nouri*h their body) They +ant to hold by a
+ar& e&bra,e o/ their &other) When they get a little bigger< they +ant
to have *o&e toy*) They +ant ,lothing to ,over their body) Whenever
they *ee *o&ething ne+< *o&eti&e* they +ant to have the&) !o&e ,hildren
have very *trong de*ire) $/ they donCt get +hat they +ant they +ill
be,o&e angry and ,ry loudly) !o&e are even +or*e than that) When
they are angry /or not getting *o&ething< they hit their head again*t the
+all) They ,ry in a big +ay +hen they +ere not allo+ed to have +hat they
+ant) When they gro+ u2< their de*ire are *o *trong< they be,o&e greedy)
Whatever they *ee they +ant to 2o**e** the&)
!o&e adult* are old and have a lot o/ 2o+er and in/luen,e in their high
o//i,e but they ,annot ,ontrol the&*elve* to have any re*traint over their
de*ire) When they go out they +ould look /or eF,u*e* to get thing* they
like to take ho&e /or /ree) ;or eFa&2le< they /ound a beauti/ul Buddha
i&age in a te&2leG they +ould u*e their 2o+er to take the&) When they
go to a *ho2 at a &arket 2la,e< they +ould ,o&2li&ent thi* and that indi,ating
their intention indire,tly) The *ho2 o+ner* under*tood *o they
)6:
gave it to the& +ith a negative thought) That kind i* ,alled greedy 2eo2le)
!o&e o/ the& *&oke but have no lighter) They borro+ed it /ro& /riend*
then 2retended to /orget and 2ut it in their 2o,ket) $t i* annoying to their
/riend* but *o&eti&e* they donCt *ay anything /or /ear that there &ight
be an argu&ent /ro& thi* trivial in,ident)
gave it to the& +ith a negative thought) That kind i* ,alled greedy 2eo2le)
!o&e o/ the& *&oke but have no lighter) They borro+ed it /ro& /riend*
then 2retended to /orget and 2ut it in their 2o,ket) $t i* annoying to their
/riend* but *o&eti&e* they donCt *ay anything /or /ear that there &ight
be an argu&ent /ro& thi* trivial in,ident)
ing
at it +e &ay end u2 loving it) !o&e +o&en are not that good looking<
but i/ the &en ke2t ad&iring the&< they +ill turn out to look 2retty
good) Thi* i* *o&ething to think about)
0o*t ,hildren do not have any idea o/ rea*oning to under*tand about
being ,on*iderate o/ the other*) They ,annot think in a rea*onable +ay a*
yet) They only think< D0e /ir*tG you a/ter)E Thi* i* the *e,ond rea*oning)
Thirdly< &o*t ,hildren donCt under*tand the ,on,e2t o/< Dtheir* and
&ine)E They *i&2ly think that thi* i* lovely and they only +ant to have
it) $/ you ob*erve you +ill *ee that +hen inno,ent ,hildren *ee *o&ething
they have never *een be/ore< they +ill +ant to tou,h it) They +ant to ta*te
it to kno+ +hat it i* like) Nor&ally ,hildren ,an eat even ,hi,ken dro2*
be,au*e they donCt kno+ +hat it i*) The +i*h to try i* *tronger than any
rea*oning) When they *ee *o&ething they like they +ill /ight to get it no
&atter to +ho& it belong*) D$ only +ant it) $/ $ donCt get it $ +ill ,ry)E The
Buddha *aid< DChildren have their ,ry a* a &a1or 2o+er)E They do that
be,au*e they do not under*tand about o+ner*hi2) Curio*ity and intere*t
are &ore 2o+er/ul *o they +ill ,ry 1u*t to get it) A* /or the 2arent*< i/
)6)
they are the ty2e +ho think their ,hildren are 2iti/ul +ithout ,on*idering
the /a,t that their /eeling* &ay *2oil the ,hildren< or they the&*elve*
are greedy< they &ay 1u*t hand that thing to the ,hildren 2ro&2tly) To do
that +ill en,ourage the ,hildren to be,o&e greedy) And thi* habit &ay
*tay +ith the& until they be,o&e adult*) !o the 2arent* &u*t be very
,are/ul and not to do anything to en,ourage their ,hildren to devalue
the&*elve*)
The +ay to ,orre,t thi* i* by not being *y&2athiBed +ith the ,hildren
+ithout any 1u*ti/i,ation) $/ your ,hildren +ant *o&ething but that thing
i* not *u22o*ed to be /or the&< try to *e2arate it /ro& the ,hildren) Even
though the ,hildren &ay ,ry< you &u*t be /ir& and tolerate the ,rying o/
your ,hildren) $t i* better than being *o/thearted and *2oil your ,hildren)
You need to kno+ al*o that anything ne+ to your ,hildren +hen they *ee
it they +ill +ant to have it) DonCt ever allo+ the& to *ee that thing) The
thing< +hi,h a22eal* to their eye< +ill a22eal to the &ind a* +ell) The
2arent* &u*t /ind a +ay) $t i* not that di//i,ult) Thi* i* /or *&all ,hildren
+ho ,annot ,o&2rehend the *2oken +ord* +ell enough)
$/ the ,hildren ,an under*tand +hen +e talk to the&< you *hould
eF2lain /or the& to kno+ +hat the thing* areG +hether they *hould 2lay
+ith the& or not and +hether they +ill 2o*e any danger to the ,hildren
and to +hat eFtent) "r you ,an *ay that the thing* belong to other 2eo2le<
+ho had to *2end the &oney to buy the&) $t i* not *o&ething /ree and
it take* a lot o/ *+eat* and 2atien,e to be able to get the&) Who did the
+ork de*erve to get the /ruit o/ their labourJ You +ork &ore you get
&ore) You +ork le** you get le**) Tho*e +ho donCt +ork have no right*
to 2o**e** that thing) DYou have not done any +ork< you *hould not even
tou,h it) To take anything /ro& it* o+ner* +ithout any 2er&i**ion i*
very +rong) You +ill be ,alled a bad 2er*on) Do you +ant to be a bad 2er*onJE
The ,hildren +ill 2robably *ay they donCt) You &ay eF2lain to the&
about the o+ner*hi2 o/ everything +e +ork /or) A little boy &ay have thi*
rubber ball< /or in*tan,e) A*k hi&< DDo you like thi* rubber ballJE
He 2robably an*+er* in the a//ir&ative) D$/ *o&e one took it /ro&
you< +ill you be ha22yJE He +ould *ay no and +ill be angry +ith that
2er*on) D$/ they ,o&e to 2lay +ith it +ithout telling you< +ill you like itJE
)6=
He 2robably +ill *ay no again) DWhatever you /eel< other 2eo2le +ill /eel
the *a&e +ay)E
Every one o/ u* al+ay* love* our belonging* and i* very 2o**e**ive o/
the&) D$/ you take the& a+ay< the o+ner* +ill be angry) $/ you 2lay +ith
the toy< they +ill be &ad at you be,au*e they love their 2o**e**ion) You
*hould al+ay* re*2e,t their o+ner*hi2) Be/ore you do anything< a*k your
*el/ i/ they did that to you< +ill you like itJ $/ you donCt like it< they +ill
not like it either)E $/ +e tea,h the& little by little u*ing *i&2le vo,abular
ie*< the ,hildren +ill under*tand &ore and &ore) The greed they have in
other 2eo2leC* belonging* +ould /ade a+ay) They +ill be,o&e rea*onable
2er*on* in a 2o*itive +ay)
"ne &ore thing< tea,h the ,hildren /or the& to under*tand that
+hatever they +ant they +ill get and they +ill have by doing good
deed*) The trea*ure* are there ready and +aiting /or good 2eo2le< diligent
2eo2le) A laBy 2er*on +ill not be able to &ake &oney) While they
are *till young and live +ith the 2arent*< +hatever they +ant< they ,an
get 1u*t by behaving the&*elve* and being obedient to the 2arent* all the
ti&e) The 2arent* love good ,hildren) .ood ,hildren +ill be re+arded in
the /uture) D$/ you do good deed* like $ told you< the re+ard +ill a22ear
by it*el/)E The Buddha *aid< a good 2er*on +ill have 2lenty o/ /ortune)
D!o you *hould be 2atient and be ,ool) DonCt be hotheaded) The hot head
burn* *el/ and ha* no 2rogre**) The ,ool one al+ay* +in*) $/ you are
,al& and ,ool and you ,an ,ontrol your*el/ to *tay in the right 2ath you
+ill be /ine)E $/ you kee2 on tea,hing the& you ,an ho2e /or the 2rogre**
o/ your ,hildren) And $ +ant to re&ind all o/ you to do it)
Why do $ e&2ha*iBe a great deal about thi* i**ueJ Be,au*e $ ,an *ee
*o &u,h /la+* in our ,hildren) 0o*t o/ our ,hildren do not re*2e,t in
the o+ner*hi2 that &u,h) They do not Huite under*tand the &eaning o/
&ine%your*%2ubli, 2ro2erty) They are o/ten ,arele** and greedy) When
they go out and /ind anything that i* edible they +ill 1u*t 2i,k and eat
it +ithout thinking that the o+ner i* *o&e+here< and to take it +ith
out any 2er&i**ion i* +rong) The ,hildren did not kno+ that be,au*e
the 2arent* never taught the& about it) Thi* ,arele** habit +ill be trou
ble*o&e /or the& in the /uture) !o $ +ant to re&ind all o/ you +ho love
)6?
your ,hildren and +ant to *ee a bright /uture /or the&< to hel2 tea,h and
re&ind the& *o they kno+ about it) $t +ill al*o hel2 redu,e the nu&ber
o/ ,ri&inal* in Thailand< +hi,h i* another great +hole*o&e a,t the 2arent*
*hould *u22ort +holeheartedly)
$n regard to the right o/ o+ner*hi2< it i* not only /or the 2arent* to
tea,h the ,hildren to re*2e,t other 2eo2leC* right*< but al*o /or the adult*
to re*2e,t the ,hildrenC* right* a* +ell) Whatever +e taught the& +e have
to 2ra,ti,e it +ell a* an eFa&2le /or the ,hildren) $/ you only tea,h< it i*
not good enough i/ you donCt al*o 2ra,ti,e) You &u*t be ,are/ul about
thi*) ;or eFa&2le< +hatever you have given the&< you &u*t ,on*ider it
to belong to the& and you &u*t re*2e,t their o+ner*hi2) Do not over
*te2 their right*) $/ you need to u*e it you &u*t a*k /or their 2er&i**ion
/ir*t) To obtain their ,on*ent i* a good &anner) The ,hildren +ill
al*o be 2roud and +ill /eel that their 2arent* did the right thing a* they
taught other 2eo2le) Plea*e do not a,t like you are the 2arent* and you
,an 2i,k and u*e anything a* you +ant be,au*e< DThi* i* &y hou*e)E To
abu*e the authority like thi* +ill ,on/u*e the ,hildren about the &eaning
o/ the +ord* Dour*E and Dtheir*E) Eventually they &ay be,o&e tho*e
+ho donCt kno+ ho+ to u*e their right* and +ho love to violate other 2eo2leC*
right*) When they gro+ u2 they &ay turn out to be bandit* +ho rob
and kill 2eo2le) Thi* i*%the thing that the 2arent* &u*t be e*2e,ially ,are/ul)
Al*o do not /orget to tea,h the& to under*tand the ,on*eHuen,e* o/
+rong doing +hen they have enough kno+ledge to a22re,iate it) Do not
think that +hen they gro+ u2 they +ill kno+ everything by the&*elve*)
To allo+ the ,hildren to learn thing* by the&*elve* are al+ay* har&/ul
to the&)
Be*ide* 2rivate 2ro2erty< there i* one very i&2ortant thing< na&ely<
2ubli, 2ro2erty) Every ,ountry ha* the 2ro2ertie*< +hi,h belong to the
nation *u,h a* national 2ark*< 2layground*< and te&2le*) They are re*t
and re,reation area*) Everybody ha* the right* to enter the area* and
u*e the& /or their 2lea*ure) While everybody ha* the right* to u*e the&<
everybody ha* the duty to kee2 the& the +ay they +ere) ;or eFa&2le< the
/lo+er* in a 2ubli, 2ark *hould not be 2i,ked by anyone /or hi* or her o+n
u*e) Whoever did that +a* *el/i*h) They only think about their 2lea*ure
)66
+ithout thinking about the 2ubli, intere*t) When the ,hildren go out to
the 2ark or the te&2le< *o&eti&e* they +ere irre*2on*ible and de*troyed
thing*) Be/ore taking your ,hildren any+here< the 2arent* &u*t &ake
,lear to the ,hildren +hat kind o/ 2la,e it i*) Ho+ the ,hildren are *u22o*ed
to behave the&*elve*) $/ they under*tand they u*ually do not go
again*t your in*tru,tion)
Even the thing* in the hou*ehold< you *hould tell the ,hildren +hat
they ,an handle +ithout telling anybody and ho+ &u,h) Children &u*t
al+ay* be told) Anything the ,hildren *hould not handle or tou,h *hould
be told) Not only telling the& but al*o giving the& the rea*on* /or not
allo+ing the& to tou,h a* +ell) We +ant to &ake *ure the ,hildren under*tand
everything a* needed a,,ording to the real ,ir,u&*tan,e*) !o the
2arent* &u*t be good tea,her* o/ the ,hildren) They in/or& the ,hildren
everything a* a22ro2riate) The ,hildren then +ill under*tand the &eaning
o/ a li/e in a ho&e< on the *treet< and in all kind* o/ 2la,e* +here they
&u*t ,ondu,t the&*elve* 2ro2erly a* the *ituation +arrant it)
0ay $ beg you all the 2arent* not to over look thi* +orkJ You not
only ,reate a 2er*on< but you &u*t al*o tea,h tho*e +ho& you have ,reated
to be good and u*e/ul to the +orld) You +ill be 2roud to have done
your duty both a* the ,reator* and the tea,her* ,o&2letely and e//e,tively)
Your ,hildren +ill al*o be glad to have good 2arent*)
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Train Your Children Not to be !el/i*h M Learn to !a,ri/i,e
Train Your Children Not to be !el/i*h M Learn to !a,ri/i,e
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A!T !ATURDAY $ talked about the greed o/ ,hildren in *everal in*tan,e*)
$n that ,ha2ter $ de&on*trated the rea*on* /or the ,hildren
to be,o&e greedy and ho+ to ,orre,t that behaviour) Ho2e/ully all the
2arent* +ho love their ,hildren have re&e&bered and ,on*idered u*ing
the&)
Today $ +ill talk &ore about *el/i*hne** be,au*e it i* the ,au*e o/
&any thing*< +hi,h lead the +ay to evil*) Buddhi*& tea,he* u* to under*tand
thatG D!el/i*hne** i* the root o/ all evil*)E !el/i*h 2er*on* are al+ay*
har&/ul to one *el/ and the *o,iety) That +a* one o/ the rea*on* +hy the
Buddha taught Anatta< +hi,h di*,u**e* non%*el/ and did not believe in
the atta,h&ent to the&*elve* or our*elve*) The tea,hing* ai& to de*troy
all o2inion about *el/ and not to atta,h one *el/ to anything too &u,h)
All atta,h&ent* to any and all thing* are *our,e* o/ *u//ering)
Even inno,ent ,hildren are &ind/ul o/ the&*elve*) They think they
have the&*elve* /ir*t) And anything ,lo*e to the& *u,h a* /ather< &other<
and in,luding /ood and toy* are their*) They +ill not allo+ anybody to
take tho*e thing* a+ay /ro& the& no &atter +hat) The a,,u&ulative
in*tin,t +ill a22ear in the /or& o/ being 2o**e**ive o/ the 2ro2erty they
have a,Huired) When they be,o&e &ore a+are o/ +ho they are< they +ill
even be &ore atta,hed to tho*e 2ro2erty) $n regard to identi/i,ation o/
*el/< you +ill *ee that a little baby +ill ,ry a* *oon a* *o&e one take* a+ay
hi* or her belonging*) $/ it i* ne,e**ary to do that< the 2arent* +ill have
to ,on*ole the& or *o&eti&e* they have to threaten the& to take a+ay
that thing) $/ the 2arent* are *o/thearted and do not /or,e the&*elve* to
a,t again*t the /eeling* o/ the ,hildren in order to i&2rove their behaviour
and allo+ the& to do a* they 2lea*e< then the little one* +ill be ea*ily
en,ouraged to a,t in a har&/ul +ay) The 2arent* +ho un+ittingly en,ourage
their ,hildren to get *2oiled are great in nu&ber) Nor&ally the 2arent*
love their ,hildren) The love< +hi,h i* over/lo+ing their heart*< i*
the one /ore*hado+ing the +i*do& and rea*on*) They donCt kno+ +hat
)6I
i* right and +hat i* +rongG +hat *hould be done and +hat *hould not be
done) !o you &u*t be ,are/ul to be able to drove and 2ull your ,hildren
to +alk on the right 2ath< the ,orre,t 2ath in the /uture)
$n tea,hing the ,hildren not to be *el/i*h< you ,an do it to little ,hildren
a* +ell) ;or eFa&2le< +hen they have /ood and *tu//< the &other
*hould give *o&e o/ the& to other ,hildren ,lo*e to the&) The ,hildren
+ill *ee your a,tion a* D*haring o/ the thing*E they have +ith other
2eo2le) !o&eti&e* they +ill re,eive *o&e 2ortion* /ro& the other* in
return) Thi* +ill ,reate a thought in the &ind o/ the ,hildren that +e
live together +ith other 2eo2le< *o it i* a good idea /or u* to *hare thing*
+ith the&) The adult* the&*elve* +ill al*o *hare /ood and other thing*
a&ong one another) Even though it i* not a +hole lot but it al*o ,reate a
habit o/ *haring +hi,h +ill allo+ the ,hildren to *ee in a good +ay)
When your ,hildren are *till very young and inno,ent< you &ay be
negle,t/ul to a ,ertain degree regarding the toy*< i)e)< allo+ing the& to
have *o&e a* they +ant in the thing* they *hould have until they be,o&e
bored and look /or the ne+ one) Ho+ever< the 2arent* &u*t be ,are/ul
not to give the ,hildren too &any toy*) They +ill be,o&e greedy and +ant
to ,hange the& very o/ten) When they gro+ u2 they +ill have a habit
o/ being de*ultory and not being *eriou* about any +ork) Thi* +ill be
a big 2roble& +hen they be,o&e adult*) But +hen the ,hildren are old
enough it i* ti&e to talk and to under*tand ea,h other) $t i* not 2ro2er
to let the *ituation dri/t ai&le**ly) You need to 2ut on a brake by u*ing
ni,e +ord*) DThi* one i* your*< thi* one i* not your*) $t belong* to that guy<
give it to hi& 2lea*e) .ood 2eo2le +ill not take thing*< +hi,h belong to
other 2eo2le) $/ you +ant it< $ +ill get one /or you *o&e day) When you
have one< you *hould 2ut it a+ay 2ro2erly) No one +ill take it a+ay)E You
talk to the& like that< ho2e/ully they +ill under*tand)
There i* another i**ue< +hi,h need* your attention) When you +ent
out vi*iting relative* +ith your ,hildren< the ho*t and ho*te** +ere kind
to the ,hildren and they /ound *o&e toy* /or the& *o they +ould not
bother the adult*) The ,hildren +ho had not been trained about thi* *ituation<
+hen they liked the toy*< they 1u*t ke2t the& to take the& ho&e)
The ho*t* did not *ay anything be,au*e the toy* +ere &inor i**ue* to
)65
the&) But it +a* a &a1or i**ue /or the /uture o/ the ,hildren) ;or the ,hildren
to do that +a* one +ay to boo*t their *el/i*hne**) Later on the ,hildren
+ill retain thi* bad habit) Plea*e do not be kind to the ,hildren like
that) The adult* &ay *2oil the ,hildren by being generou* to the& in thi*
+ay) A kind 2er*on &u*t al*o think o/ the rea*on< the ti&e and the 2la,e)
Whether you *hould do it or not) $/ you did not think you *hould< 1u*t
donCt do it) The *a&e i* true /or the 2arent*) You have to tell the ,hildren)
DThi* thing i* not your*< they only allo+ you to 2lay te&2orarily) You
,annot take it ho&e +ith you) They +ill *ay that you are *el/i*h) You are
greedy even /or little thing*)E But i/ the thing +a* &eant to be a gi/t /or
the ,hildren and it +a* brought /or the& in /riend*hi2 and your ,hildren
did not a*k /or it then allo+ the& to kee2 it) A de*ire to take be,au*e o/
*el/i*hne** i* not a good thing) $/ the ,hildren *ho+ thi* *y&2to&< the
2arent* &u*t /ind a +ay to eli&inate or to 2revent it i&&ediately) Thi*
kind o/ evil i* like a /ire burning our hou*e) Whoever *a+ it /ir*t &u*t
2ut it out right a+ay)
While you are giving a+ay thing* to your ,hildren< you *hould +at,h
,are/ully to *ee +ho are not *ati*/ied +ith +hat they re,eived) They
+ill glan,e *ide +ay to *ee +ho are getting &ore or better thing* than
the other*) They +ill /eel hurt and *ho+ *ing* o/ obviou* di*2lea*ure)
!o&eti&e* they +ill *i&2ly thro+ that thing a+ay) Thi* i* a ,lear *ign
o/ *el/i*hne**< +hi,h &ani/e*t it*el/ a* being hurt be,au*e they thought
they *hould get &ore) But i/ they re,eived anything be/ore or better< they
love to *ho+ the& o// +ith 2ride a* i/ to tell the& that< D0y &o& love*
&e very &u,h< *o *he gave &e good *tu//)E $t turned out to be 2laying a
ga&e o/ one%u2&an*hi2 again) They all have a tenden,y to turn out negatively
in one +ay or another) !o&eti&e*< the 2arent* tried their be*t by
dividing thing* into eHual 2ile* to be ,ho*en a* they 2lea*ed) The ,hildren
+ill try to take advantage o/ one another by ,hoo*ing better%looking
2ile*) !o&eti&e* t+o 2eo2le +anted the *a&e 2ile and they argued) Thi*
i* a bad habit) The 2arent* have to be eFtra ,are/ul in giving a+ay thing*)
Do not allo+ any 2re1udi,e* +hat*oever< be,au*e 2re1udi,e ho+ever little
+ill ,reate a ,ra,k in the &ind o/ your ,hildren)
When $ +a* a te&2le boy< doBen* o/ u* *tayed together) !o&e +ere
)68
goodG *o&e +ere badG all &iFed) When there +a* going to be thing* being
given to u* the guardian +ould ,ount the nu&ber o/ the boy* to divide
the a&ount o/ the thing* to be di*tributed) Then 2ile* o/ thing* +ere
arranged in line* to be the *a&e a* the nu&ber o/ the boy* a* +ell) Then
the guardian +ould a*k the boy* to line u2 a,,ording to their height*)
The *&alle*t boy at the end o/ the line +ould be ,alled /ir*t to re,eive the
gi/t< then the neFt boy until the la*t one at the head o/ the line) Everybody
got one 2ile) He did it that +ay be,au*e he +anted to tea,h the bigger
boy* to be 2rote,tive o/ the little one*) $/ the bigger boy* need to *a,ri/i,e
on,e in a +hile< they *hould do *o /or the little one*) All o/ u* *tayed
together 2ea,e/ully +ithout any Huarrel) Thi* +a* /airne** in the adult in
our /a&ily< &eaning &y guardian)
$t i* the *a&e /or your /a&ily) You have *everal ,hildren in your
,harge) You &u*t give the& eHuality) Do not ,reate a bad habit o/ *el/i*hne**
by your 2re1udi,e) When you are giving thing* to your ,hildren<
do not 2ay any attention to any age di//eren,e) .ive ea,h o/ the& eHually
to &ake the& /eel that every one in the /a&ily ha* the *a&e *tatu* +ith
eHual right* to re,eive anything in the /a&ily) No one i* &ore i&2ortant
than the other* in regard to re,eiving thing* /ro& the 2arent*) The idea
that $ a& &ore i&2ortant than the other* doe* not eFi*t) To a,t +ithout
any 2re1udi,e by the 2arent* i* the right +ay< the 2ro2er +ay /or the 2arent*
to do)
While your ,hildren have ,ookie* or *o&e /ood in their hand< i/ there
i* another ,hild nearby< you *hould take an o22ortunity to tea,h your
,hildren to give *o&e o/ the /ood to the other ,hild) You do thi* by telling
your ,hildren in a ni,e +ay to &ake the& give it +illingly) Do not
/or,e the& to do it in anger) Thing* like thi* are &atter* o/ the heart) We
&u*t let the& do it +ith 2lea*ure) $t i* better than u*ing /ear) Anything
a* a re*ult o/ /ear doe* not *tay long) $t i* al*o better to 2lant the *eed o/
,ontent&ent then let the& do it) !o&e ,hildren< having been reHue*ted
to *hare thing*< +ill be unha22y be,au*e *el/i*hne** i* there to blo,k it)
Try to /ind an eF,u*e to tea,h the& *o they +ould under*tand that the
+orld i* *till here be,au*e o/ giving and re,eiving) Parent* love their ,hildren)
They give &ilk< /ood< ,lothe* and &any other thing* to the ,hildren)
)64
DThe thing* $ gave to you< $ re,eived /ro& &y &other a* +ell) $/ $ re,eived
it and 1u*t ke2t it< $ did not give it< you ,annot live) 0y duty there/ore i*
to give) 0y giving allo+* you to live in thi* +orld)E
.ood 2eo2le +hen they re,eive anything /ro& anybody or +hen they
have *o&ething< they +ill give *o&e to the other*) We ,annot live alone
in thi* +orld< +e need /riend*) We de2end on one another) Thi* /a,t &u*t
be taught to the ,hildren all the ti&e to &ake the& realiBe that it i* a 1ob
/or the& to do) Then you ,an be ,on*idered having ,ultivated thi* +hole
*o&e habit in your ,hildren) Re&e&ber that un*el/i*h ,hildren +ill hel2
build Thailand) But *el/i*h ,hildren +ill de*troy Thailand until nothing
i* le/t) Do you +ant to *ee ThailandT 2rogre**J The an*+er i* already in
your heart) $ donCt have to tell you be,au*e you kno+ it already) The voi,e
o/ your heart i* *aying *o&ething< li*ten ,are/ully) Do the right thing to
&ake your ,hildren the 2eo2le o/ virtue)
When your ,hildren gro+ u2 and go to *,hool< the 2arent* &u*t try
to train their &ind to have a /eeling that they ,annot live alone) ;ood<
,lothing< and everything ,o&bine to &ake a li/e< are all related) They
,o&e /ro& *everal 2la,e*< *everal *our,e* to be together in one 2la,e to
enable the body and the *oul to *urvive and live on) All ,itiBen* o/ the
+orld are related and they are eHually i&2ortant) You *hould give a* an
eFa&2le the li/e in your /a&ily *o the ,hildren ,an *ee ea*ily)
The 2arent* are the leader* o/ a /a&ilyG they are the head*< the ,hair2er*on*
o/ the ho&e) The /ather and the &other &u*t take ,are o/ ea,h
other) No one i* &ore i&2ortant than the other i*) They both &u*t hel2
ea,h other in &aking a living /or the +ell being o/ the /a&ily) The 2arent*
+ill hel2 every one o/ their ,hildren eHually) They &u*t love one
another and have unity) They *tay together in ha22ine** and in *i,kne**)
They take ,are o/ one another all the ti&e) The ,ook and the *ervant*
+ho *+ee2 the ground and +ater the 2lant* are al*o i&2ortant in the
+ork they do eHually) "n the day the ,ook +a* ill< +e +ere all in trouble
be,au*e no one ,ook /or u*) The 1anitor did not *+ee2 the 2la,e /or one
day and there +a* du*t all over *2reading all kind o/ di*ea*e*) You +ill
*ee that every one o/ u* live together +e &u*t de2end on one another)
Ha22ine** and 2rogre** +ill 2revail) $/ ea,h o/ u* *tay and live our live*
)9:
a2art< ea,h looking 1u*t /or hi* or her o+n ha22ine** +ith no a**i*tan,e
given to anybodyG think /or a &inute< +hat +ill ha22enJ
a2art< ea,h looking 1u*t /or hi* or her o+n ha22ine** +ith no a**i*tan,e
given to anybodyG think /or a &inute< +hat +ill ha22enJ
0ay $ beg you< the 2arent*< to tea,h your ,hildren to be generou* and
not only think about the&*elve*G to be kind and not only to hu&an but
al*o to all ani&al*) They *hould re,eive our kindne** to live their live* in
relative ,o&/ort) DonCt think only o/ your o+n /un *o &u,h that it &ay
de*troy the ha22ine** o/ other 2eo2le)
When you are +ith *o&e one< look /or an o22ortunity to train
hi& or her to be generou* and to *a,ri/i,e /or the other*< e)g) to &ake
+ay /or the elderly and the ,hildren) .ive your *eat to the 2eo2le you
*hould) $t i* an eFa&2le o/ a good 2er*on) Do +hatever you ,an to
&ake your ,hildren +hole*o&e) DonCt be tardy about it or the devil*
+ill eat u2 your ,hildren)
END "; PART TW"
)9)
L"-E Y"UR CH$LDREN
THE R$.HT WAY
PART $$$
Love Your Children The Right Way
Part Three
Cultivating Unity a&ong Your Children i* -ery $&2ortant
DEAR PARENT!<
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A!T !ATURDAY +e talked about *el/i*hne** /or your li*tening 2lea*ure)
You &u*t have *een the truth that all the evil* in thi* +orld
&o*tly ,o&e /ro& *el/i*hne**) All o/ u* do not +ant to ,reate evil* in
thi* +orld *o +e &u*t /ind a +ay to 2revent and to eli&inate the& to
the be*t o/ our ability) To build the /uture o/ everything de2end* on the
develo2&ent o/ our ,hildren) $/ the 2arent* o/ all /a&ilie* +ill together
hel2 in develo2ing good habit* o/ the ,hildren< ha22ine** and 2rogre**
+ill 2revail +ithout any doubt) Ho2e/ully the arti,le* +hi,h you have li*tened
to +ill be o/ *o&e bene/it* to you)
Today $ +ould like to talk about a ne,e**ity +e all &u*t /a,e +ith
*ooner or later) You &u*t have heard o/ the ne+* that in *everal big /a&ilie*
+hen the head o/ the /a&ily 2a**ed a+ay< the 2eo2le le/t behind broke
a2art) Ea,h one o/ the& +anted to get the inheritan,e o/ the 2arent*) $n
the end< they ,ould not ,o&e to an agree&ent and the ,a*e had to go to
a ,ourt o/ la+) Even though ea,h &ay get *o&e &oney out o/ the trouble
but &o*t +ould be given to the la+yer* and the ,ourt) Every ti&e there i*
a &iddle&an< never ho2e that they +ill do it /or /ree< they +ill get *o&e
retainer* /or that) The *tory about D.rand2a YuE in a book /or ,hildren
i* a good eFa&2le) Why +ould &e&ber* o/ the *a&e /a&ily not love one
another and have unityJ
$ looked at the 2roble&) There *ee&ed to be *everal /a,tor*) ;or
eFa&2le< the /a&ily had *everal &other*) Children o/ *everal &other*
are di//i,ult to get along even +ith the *a&e /ather) With di//erent &other*<
they rarely get along +ith one another) With one &other they tend to
be ,lo*er) An,ient 2eo2le *aid< DThey +ere brother* ,ra+ling one by one
a/ter another)E The &eaning i* they +ere o/ the *a&e &other) The rela
)9?
tion*hi2 i* u*ually *tronger) With di//erent &other*< even one /ather< it
i* hard) The /ather o/ the /a&ily *hould be ,are/ul about thi*) Do not be
too a,tive *eFually) DonCt have &ore than one +i/e be,au*e your ,hildren
+ill Huarrel) Your good /a&ily +ill +eaken) Due to the above< big /a&ilie*
need to break the ri,e 2ot to divide the goodie* a&ong their &e&ber*)
tion*hi2 i* u*ually *tronger) With di//erent &other*< even one /ather< it
i* hard) The /ather o/ the /a&ily *hould be ,are/ul about thi*) Do not be
too a,tive *eFually) DonCt have &ore than one +i/e be,au*e your ,hildren
+ill Huarrel) Your good /a&ily +ill +eaken) Due to the above< big /a&ilie*
need to break the ri,e 2ot to divide the goodie* a&ong their &e&ber*)
ent
&other*) Every ,hild +rangle* /or a 2ie,e o/ 2ro2erty) $n thi* kind o/
+rangling< &other* are u*ually in the ba,kground *u22orting their ,hildren)
Thi* kind o/ &other* i* *hort%*ighted< *el/i*h and doe* not think o/
the good o/ the /a&ily) Eventually everybody i* all di*turbed e&otionally)
They +rangle over every 2ie,e o/ inheritan,e) At long la*t< the *olid
/oundation o/ the /a&ily di*integrate*) The o+ner*hi2 o/ ri,e /ield*< the
or,hard* and the building* are tran*/erred to other 2eo2le) $t i* really a
2ity) $/ tho*e ,hildren had been trained to do the right thing and to ,o&e
together /or unity and ,o&2ro&i*e and hel2 one another to ,ontinue in
the /a&ily bu*ine**< they ,ould in,or2orate the bu*ine** into a 2artner*hi2
or a ,or2oration) Ea,h one o/ the& ha* ,ertain nu&ber o/ *hare*
in the ,or2oration by u*ing the inheritan,e they re,eived a* the ,a2ital)
They ,an ,olle,t the 2ro/it ea,h year to be their in,o&e) Anyone +anted
to +ork in the ,o&2any ,ould earn *o&e *alary and bonu*e* at the end
o/ the year) The +ealth +ill not be di*a22earing) The analogy i* that o/
the /ather +ho 2lanted a tree) When he died< one *on took the root*< one
daughter took the trunk< and another one took the leave* and the la*t one
took the bran,he*< the tree +ould die /or *ure be,au*e o/ the di*agree&ent)
But i/ everyone think* that they +ant to kee2 the tree and &ake
it to gro+ bigger by +atering< +orking the *oil and 2utting the /ertiliBer
in it< then the /ruit* +ill be di*tributed a&ong the&) That tree +ill live
*everal &ore year* longer 2rodu,ing &ore /ruit*) But i/ they de,ided to
divide a&ong the& like the above< then they +ould get nothing)
0any /a&ilie* +ent under u*ing the &ethod &entioned above) !o $
+ould like to a*k you to u*e the& a* a good le**on) U*e the le**on to tea,h
your ,hildren< ea,h and every one o/ the& to under*tand that every one in
the /a&ily i* a 2art o/ the body< Au*t like our body< +e have a head< a trunk<
)96
t+o ar&*< t+o leg* and other organ*) Every 2art o/ the body ha* di//erent
/un,tion*< i)e)< eye /or *eeing< ear /or hearing< &outh /or talking< no*e /or
breathing in and out< and other organ* have to do their o+n duty) Every
2art o/ the body ha* to +ork in ,oordination +ith one another all the ti&e)
;or eFa&2le< in eating the /ood< the hand +ill 2ut the /ood in the &outh)
The eye look* and *ee* +hether the /ood i* good enough /or ,on*u&2tion
or not< any doubt< the no*e +ill *&ell< i/ the *&ell i* good< the /ood ,an be
2ut in the &outh) $n*ide the &outh< the tongue ha* to turn over to a,,o&&odate
the /ood to be ,he+ed ,onveniently) The *aliva gland* *end out the
*aliva to &iF +ith the /ood and it i* dige*ted in the &outh +ell enough to
be *+allo+ed through the throat >oe*o2hagu*@ do+n to the *to&a,h) Thi*
i* a unity o/ all body organ*< +hi,h +ork in orderly &anner) "ur body
*tay* healthy thi* +ay) $/ one o/ the organ* i* *i,k and it doe* not /un,tion
nor&ally< +e +ill al*o be *i,k or *o&eti&e* dead)
A /a&ily i* the *a&e) $/ all the ,hildren in the /a&ily unite< hel2 one
another< love one another *in,erely< that /a&ily +ill 2rogre**) $t +ill be
*table and *trong enough to +ork e//e,tively) Whenever the unity di*a22ear*<
the /a&ily +ill ,o&e to an end) You &u*t eF2lain to the ,hildren
*o they under*tand the &eaning o/ unity) $/ they *till donCt under*tand
,orre,tly< a*k ea,h one o/ the& to /ind a 2ie,e o/ +ooden *ti,k) Tell the&
to break it one by one) A/ter they are broken in hal/< try 2utting the&
together in a bundle) A*k ea,h one o/ the ,hildren to break the bundle)
They ,annot break the bundle) A*k the& to hel2 one another to break it<
*till they ,annot do it) A*k the&< +hy +a* it ea*y to break a 2ie,e o/ +ood)
The an*+er +ould 2robably be be,au*e it +a* not *trong enough) Why
,ould +e not break a bundle o/ +oodJ They +ould an*+er< be,au*e they
,o&bined the *trength) Tell the& that to ,o&bine the *trength together
i* ,alled DunityE) The Buddha on,e *aid< DThe *trength o/ the 2eo2le
together bring* *u,,e**)E
"n the ,ontrary< the *trength< +hi,h i* *,attered all over< doe* not
have any 2o+er) $t i* hard to *u,,eed in anything) Tea,h the& /urther
that i/ you +ant *tability and 2ro*2erity in your /a&ily you all &u*t unite)
You &u*t have unity) Re&e&ber that to do it alone +ill a,,o&2li*h a little<
to 1oin /or,e* +ill a,,o&2li*h a lot &ore) 0e&ber* o/ the *a&e /a&
)99
ily *hould ,oo2erate in doing the +ork o/ the grou2* a* a +hole to have
any 2rogre** at all) Tea,h your ,hildren to under*tand that other 2eo2le
+ill be able to de*troy your love and unity by *2litting you a2art /ro& one
another /ir*t) When one o/ you *e2arate* /ro& the grou2 then it be,o&e*
&ore ,onvenient to de*troy your grou2) The analogy i* that o/ *e2arating
ea,h *ti,k o/ +ood and break* it one by one) To *e2arate and de*troy i*
done by ,reating &i*under*tanding a&ong the brother* and *i*ter*) ;or
eFa&2le< by *aying that you are at a di*advantage in thi* +ay and that
+ay) Why are you *o /ooli*h a* to allo+ your brother to take advantage o/
youJ Thi* i* an eFa&2le about de*troying) The 2eo2le +ho +ork together
&u*t have real unity) DonCt believe in the +ord* o/ other 2eo2le *o ea*ily)
#ee2 re&inding your*el/ that brother* and *i*ter* are ,lo*er together
than the 2eo2le on the out*ide)
The an,ient 2eo2le had a *aying< DDo not think the /ae,e* i* better
than the inte*tine)E >DonCt evaluate other* better than your o+n kin)@
The inte*tine re&ain* in our body +hile the /ae,e* have been di*,arded)
No one ,an bring it ba,k in*ide our body again) !o you need to think
about thi* ,are/ully) Do not de*troy unity< everR The *ti,k< +hi,h ha*
not been broken< +ill have it* +ood &aterial ,ohe*ively atta,hed but a
broken *ti,k even +ith adhe*ive glue +ill not be eFa,tly the *a&e) Thi* i*
analogou* to a ,ou2le +ho u*ed to like ea,h other< i/ they broke u2< it i*
hard to be together again) All &e&ber* o/ the /a&ily *hould unite 2er&anently)
Do not be un+i*e a* to break a2art) The 2arent* *hould be the
be*t eFa&2le o/ unity /or the ,hildren) Any 2arent* +ho o/ten Huarrel are
very bad eFa&2le /or the /a&ily) The ,hildren having *een the bi,kering
&u*t have /elt terrible) When they turn to the /ather< they +ere *,olded<
+hen they turn to the &other they +ere angrily berated) Where ,ould
they turn thenJ The brother* and *i*ter* had to talk to one another) They
&ay de,ide to go out o/ bound) !o $ need to tell you that i/ you +ant unity
a&ong your ,hildren< the 2arent* &u*t al*o unite and *tay together in an
at&o*2here o/ eternal love)
Another i**ue< +hi,h +e &u*t be ,are/ul< i* +hen the /ather love* to
have *everal +ive*< +hi,h +e ,all &i*tre**e*) The 2er*on* +ho have &i*tre**e*
a,tually have &inor +ive*) They are the /ather* +ho are *el/i*h)
)9I
The ,reate a hell in the /a&ily) The an,ient 2eo2le *aid< DWo&an +ill *a,ri/i,e
gold a* big a* her hu*bandC* head to kee2 the hu*band)E When *he
/elt that *he +a* going to lo*e her hu*band to another +o&an< *he +ould
be angry in*ide) Then the hu*band had a ,hild +ith the ne+ +i/e) That
,hild +a* a thorn in her eye) !he /ound a +ay not to let her ,hild a**o,iate
+ith that o/ the &inor +i/e) The t+o ,hildren did not get alongG they
Huarrel +ith ea,h other) The t+o grou2* had no unity) Then the /ather
2a**ed a+ay) The ,hildren *ued ea,h other /or the inheritan,e) At the
end< the 2ro2erty +a* da&aged) $t +a* hard to bla&e the ,hildren /or
an event like thi* be,au*e the /ather +a* no good) He ,reated the 2roble&
/or the ,hildren) $n the 2re*ent ti&e there *ee& to be &ore /ather*
like thi*) $t i* very har&/ul) ;or thi* rea*on< $ +ould like to re&ind you
to learn to ,ontrol your*el/) Do not 2ay too &u,h attention to having *o
&u,h /un like being a *lave) $t i* har&/ul to your /a&ily in the long run)
Having talked about thi* i**ue< $ +ould like to ,ontinue a little &ore)
Any &an< +ho i* intoFi,ated +ith *eFual de*ire like *i&2le ani&al*< no
&atter ho+ big he i*< ho+ ri,h he be,o&e*< +ill ea*ily be ruin in a /la*h
and lo*t everything) There are eFa&2le* all over) You< the 2arent*< &u*t
re&e&ber) $ beg you not to +alk in the 2ath o/ the gho*t*< but the 2ath
o/ the &onk*) You +ill be *a/e in all re*2e,t) And you +ill al*o be ,alled
*o&e one +ho built a /ir& /oundation /or your ,hildren) Thi* i* another
re&inder /or you to think about)
Unity &u*t be taught not only to the *ibling* o/ the *a&e 2arent*< but
al*o a&ong all the relative* o/ that /a&ily) Do not 1u*t a*k your ,hildren
to eFtend their love and /riend*hi2 to a li&ited nu&ber o/ 2eo2le) $n our
live*< there are &any i**ue* and they involve a lot o/ 2eo2le) The Buddha
taught u* that< DAll our relative* are al*o the *trength +e &u*t try to 2re*erve)E
Any /a&ily +ith &any relative* +ill have a lot *trength and 2o+er
and ,an a,,o&2li*h a great deal in their +ork) Any /a&ily +ith very /e+
relative* +ill have le** 2o+er) Whoever +ant* *tability and greatne** in
their /a&ily &u*t have +ay* to 2ro&ote /riend*hi2 a&ong tho*e in the
*a&e /a&ily) ;or the ,hildren +ho are related< the 2arent* *hould /ind a
+ay /or the& to &eet one another on,e in a +hile *o they ,an 2lay and
travel together< eat together) They ,an *it together li*tening to *torie* told
)95
by the adult*) $t +a* a ,han,e to get to kno+ one another) The /riend*hi2<
+hi,h began /ro& ,hildhood< +ill *tay on a long ti&e) The adult* *hould
/ind a +ay to ,reate thi* *ort o/ a *ituation to allo+ the ,hildren to be a
2art o/ the *a&e grou2) Even though they gre+ u2 to be young adult*<
they *hould be taught &ore about thi* /a,t) The adult* in the *a&e big
/a&ily &et and talk to one another 1oy/ully) The ,hildren +ill re&e&ber
tho*e *,ene* in their &ind) $/ a bad thought ,ro**e* their &ind< that
*,ene in the 2a*t +ill re&ind the& to think t+i,e) !o thi* one thing that
need* to be done)
Unity i* a double%edged *+ord) $t ,an be u*ed 2o*itively a* +ell a*
negatively) $t de2end* on ho+ to u*e it) $/ the tea,hing +a* not done right
and the /a&ily +ere united< but they +ent out and 2i,ked on other /a&ilie*)
That i* not ,orre,t) $t i* de*troying the 2eo2le o/ the *a&e nation)
We are a 2art o/ the nation) $/ a 2art de*troy* another 2art< it i* like
de*troying the nation a* a +hole) $t i* like the right hand i* *,rat,hing
the le/t hand) The le/t hand i* hurt and al*o i* the right hand) Nothing i*
gained /ro& that a,t) Even though the ,ountry have +ar *hi2* and gun*<
but i/ the 2eo2le o/ our nation are not united< tho*e gun* and +ea2on*
and the *oldier* +ill not do any good +ithout the unity a&ong the 2eo2le
o/ the nation a* a +hole)
Unity i* there/ore very i&2ortant and 2o+er/ul) All the 2arent* &u*t
tea,h your ,hildren *o they +ill under*tand and to have thi* virtue in
their &ind)
The Thai 2eo2le +ill not de*troy the Thai 2eo2le) The Thai 2eo2le
+ill *u22ort and hel2 the Thai 2eo2le /or the 2rogre** o/ Thailand) But
to hel2 the Thai 2eo2le develo2 Thailand< they &u*t not &ake trouble
/or other 2eo2le*) Be,au*e the 2eo2le* o/ the +orld are all the *a&e< all
o/ u* are *entient being* +ho have birth< old age< *i,kne** and death the
*a&e a* anybody el*e) We love ha22ine**< and hate *u//ering) !o +e all
*hould love one another) We *hould be +ell a,Huainted +ith one another)
We *hould hel2 ,reate 2ea,e and ha22ine** in the +orld +e live in) Ho+
&u,h +e love our*elve*G +e *hould love the other* a* &u,h) The unity
that the +orld need* i* the unity in ,reating 2ea,e and ha22ine** /or
the +hole +orld and not the unity to de*troy one another)
)98
Train Your Children to !ave 0oney at a Young Age
Train Your Children to !ave 0oney at a Young Age
0
0
Y TAL# "N< PL"-E Y"UR CH$LDREN THE R$.HT WAY<C ha* gone
o/ the air /or a long ti&e) You &u*t have been +ondering +here it
+a*) The /a,t i* $ have been gone /or a +hile) No+ $ have &ore /ree ti&e
to *it and +rite again) !o L"-E Y"UR CH$LDREN THE R$.HT WAY +ill
be heard again) Plea*e li*ten attentively)
Every radio *tation in Thailand ha* been broad,a*ting thi* very ni,e
re&inder) DThi* govern&ent did not a*k you to tighten your belt but
it advi*e* you to *ave)E Thi* +hole*o&e 2hra*e +a* intended to re&ind
and to +arn you< all the Thai*< /ir*t o/ all to realiBe that all +ork you do
are /or the ha22ine** and 2rogre** o/ your*el/ and your ,ountry) !e,ondly
to ,ondu,t your*el/ in di*,i2line and order< and thirdly to hel2 i&2rove
the e,ono&y o/ the ,ountry) $t i* an intere*ting re&inder< +hi,h *hould
be 2ra,ti,ed by all) Why did the govern&ent give thi* +arningJ DonCt the
Thai 2eo2le *ave &oneyJ !o&e o/ you &ay have *o&e doubt about that)
!everal &onth* ago< $ +ent to give a *er&on at the Provin,e o/ Phi,hit)
$ &et a young &an) He *a+ a &onk *o he ,a&e< to talk to &e) We talked
about the +ork he +a* doing) He *aid he +a* a ,ar2enter) $n the beginning
he +a* 1u*t a hel2er) Then he be,a&e a leader and a,,e2ted the 1ob to do
it /or hi&*el/) He had been doing that /or /ive or *iF year*) $ a*ked about
hi* in,o&e) He *aid it +a* good) He &ade about three to /our thou*and
baht a &onth) A/ter *ubtra,ting eF2en*e* hi* 2ro/it +a* about one thou*and
or &ore in a &onth) $ a*ked /urther ho+ he *2ent hi* &oney) He
*aid he *2ent it to &ake hi* /a&ily ha22y) He gave *o&e to the 2arent*G
he gave *o&e to ,harity and *o&e /or taFe*) $ +a* glad to hear that) !o $
told hi& you have done right by a Buddhi*t 2rin,i2le< +hi,h *ay*< DEvery
2er*on *hould +ork diligentlyG *hould +ork an hone*t 1ob< +hi,h +ill
not bring trouble to your*el/ and the other*) When the +ork i* done<
the re*ult i* &oney and other valuable*) Then it *hould be *2ent in
the right +ay< i)e)< to look a/ter your*el/ and your /a&ily< your 2arent*<
your good /riend*< to 2ay taFe*< and to &ake &erit* in religion*< +hi,h
)94
are the light* o/ the +orld) $t i* the ,orre,t bene/it* you re,eived /ro&
the &oney you earned /ro& +orking) What you did +a* rea*onable) But
there i* *o&ething i&2ortant that you are &i**ing)E
are the light* o/ the +orld) $t i* the ,orre,t bene/it* you re,eived /ro&
the &oney you earned /ro& +orking) What you did +a* rea*onable) But
there i* *o&ething i&2ortant that you are &i**ing)E
To think about the /uture o/ your /a&ily you &u*t be /rugal) You
&ade *o&e &oneyG you &u*t *ave *o&e o/ it) $/ neFt ti&e you ,annot
&ake any< you +ill not be in trouble) You are la,king thi*< i* that rightJ
He an*+ered in an a//ir&ative) !o $ +ent on giving hi& another 2ointer)
When you return ho&e< $ +ant you to *tart doing one thing) You do a*
$ reHue*t but it +ill be o/ bene/it to you in the /uture) $ +ant you to 2ut
*o&e o/ your &oney in the .overn&ent !aving*C bank) Do you have a
!aving*C bank at ho&eJ He *aid ye*) $ *aid you 2ut *o&e &oney in the
bank) Au*t a little ea,h ti&e but do it regularly until it be,o&e* a habit)
When you re,eive any &oney< a 2art o/ it &u*t be 2ut in the a,,ount in
the bank) $/ there i* no real need do not +ithdra+ the &oney /ro& the
)I:
bank) Con*ider that *u& o/ &oney to be the &oney /or the /uture) But
i/ there are any in,ident*< +hi,h +ill &ake your &oney gro+< e)g)< be a
2artner in a bu*ine**< or a,,e2t &ortgage on a hou*e< you ,an +ithdra+
the &oney /or that 2ur2o*e right a+ay) $/ you are able to do like that you
+ill /eel *e,ure about the &oneyG you +ill /eel *e,ure on the /uture o/ the
/a&ily) When +e get old and ,an +ork no &ore +e have *o&e &oney le/t
to *2end +ithout any 2roble&)
bank) Con*ider that *u& o/ &oney to be the &oney /or the /uture) But
i/ there are any in,ident*< +hi,h +ill &ake your &oney gro+< e)g)< be a
2artner in a bu*ine**< or a,,e2t &ortgage on a hou*e< you ,an +ithdra+
the &oney /or that 2ur2o*e right a+ay) $/ you are able to do like that you
+ill /eel *e,ure about the &oneyG you +ill /eel *e,ure on the /uture o/ the
/a&ily) When +e get old and ,an +ork no &ore +e have *o&e &oney le/t
to *2end +ithout any 2roble&)
/er
your *in a* +ell) And the /uture o/ the ,hildren +ill not be *o bright)
The 2arent* +ho are re*2on*ible /or that dark /uture are *in/ul) The only
+ay not to be *in/ul in that +ay i* to train your*el/ to be /rugalG to *ave
and to *2end only on +hat i* really ne,e**ary) $/ it i* not then do not
*2end the &oney) Do not ,o&2ete in *2ending the &oney or the &oney
+ill /all into the hand* o/ other 2eo2le) Look around your*el/ and *ee
+hat really belong* to you) $/ you are not in ,ontrol o/ your*el/ you +ill
be in trouble in the /uture) 0o*t Thai* are /la+ed in thi* regard *o $ +ant
to +arn the& about thi*)
$n &any ,iviliBed +e*tern ,ountrie*< i/ +e ob*erve the +ay they &ake
their living< +e +ill *ee that they are &o*t /rugal) They eat only a* ne,e**ary)
They dre** only a* ne,e**ary) The go out only a* ne,e**ary) They
*o,ialiBe only a* ne,e**ary) Talk about eating and they eat only at &eal
ti&e*G eat only the /ood< +hi,h i* u*e/ul to the body and did not think
about the ta*te o/ the /ood but the value o/ the /ood) They eat only +hat
i* needed /or the body and did not eat 1u*t be,au*e they /eel like eating)
The &ind o/ a 2er*on al+ay* +ant *o&ething +ithout any ending< +ithout
being /ull< +ithout having enough) We are atta,hed to deli,iou* /ood)
We are the *lave* o/ the ta*te) But our body ha* a li&it) When +e are
hungry< the body *ay* *o) When +e are /ull< the body day* *o a* +ell) Eat
&ore and it +ill be trouble) But &o*t our 2eo2le are *tubborn) They donCt
tru*t their body) They eat until *o&ething bad ha22en) The di*ea*e* and
illne**e* due to eating i&2ro2erly are nu&erou*) $n other ,ountrie*< their
)I)
2ubli, 2ark* donCt have /ood and *+eet*%+ra22er* *,attered all over) $t i*
be,au*e their 2eo2le are /rugal) "ur ,ountry i* *till 2retty bad) Peo2le
*ee& al+ay* to be eating here and there and at all ti&e) A/ter eating the
2eo2le 1u*t go all over +ithout having any di*,i2line and order) There i*
no di*,i2line +ithout being /rugal) We have to build our ,ountry) We
have to build the &ind o/ the 2eo2le a* +ell) The *tability o/ the &ind i*
ba*ed on being /rugal) $ +ould like to a*k tho*e o/ you< +ho have never
been /rugal be/ore to *tart no+ and *ave the &oney /or the rainy day*)
2ubli, 2ark* donCt have /ood and *+eet*%+ra22er* *,attered all over) $t i*
be,au*e their 2eo2le are /rugal) "ur ,ountry i* *till 2retty bad) Peo2le
*ee& al+ay* to be eating here and there and at all ti&e) A/ter eating the
2eo2le 1u*t go all over +ithout having any di*,i2line and order) There i*
no di*,i2line +ithout being /rugal) We have to build our ,ountry) We
have to build the &ind o/ the 2eo2le a* +ell) The *tability o/ the &ind i*
ba*ed on being /rugal) $ +ould like to a*k tho*e o/ you< +ho have never
been /rugal be/ore to *tart no+ and *ave the &oney /or the rainy day*)
taurant)
$t +ould not be right or /eel right) To de/e,ate like an ele2hant
&ean* trouble /or *ure) "ur habit i* like that a lot too) $ +ant to +arn you
not to do that< it +ill &ean trouble) $t i* ,o&2etition in +a*ting &oney)
$t i* not u*e/ul at all) $t +ould be better i/ +e ,o&2ete in +ork< ,o&2ete
in *aving the &oney) $t i* al*o a +ay to hel2 our ,ountry)
$n *aving< it doe* not &ean that you *ave *o &u,h and never *2end
your &oney at all) That i* too good) An an,ient *aying< have one Huarter<
&ake it one bahtG but donCt &i** +hatever you really need< i* Huite *2i,y
to hear and to 2ra,ti,e 1u*t to get to one baht)
But do not &ake it too hard to live your li/e< +hi,h *hould be balan,ed
and ,o&/ortable a* your *tatu* allo+*) The +ord *tatu* i*< the
thing you &u*t give it a thought) What i* your *tatu*J You &u*t think
,are/ully and rea*onably the +ay it +a* +ritten /ollo+ing the above *tate
)I=
&ent< earn little< *2end le**G *2end too &u,h and trouble +ill ,o&eG
do not buy i/ you think not< both /or /ood and *+eet*) To be able to do
like that need* *el/ ,ontrol) Do not have *o &any need*) DonCt /all in love
too &u,h +ith *2ending the &oney) You have to a*k your*el/ /ir*t be/ore
*2ending the &oney< i* it ne,e**aryJ $* it ti&e to *2endJ $/ $ donCt *2end<
,an $ liveJ Doe* &y li/e need thatJ Thi* i* the kind o/ Hue*tion*< +hi,h
&u*t be a*ked be/ore *2ending) $/ you think it i* not ne,e**ary 1u*t donCt
do it) Walk by that 2la,e) DonCt *ti,k around too long) $t +ill *2oil you in
the long run) Thi* i* a +ay to ,ontrol your &ind)
&ent< earn little< *2end le**G *2end too &u,h and trouble +ill ,o&eG
do not buy i/ you think not< both /or /ood and *+eet*) To be able to do
like that need* *el/ ,ontrol) Do not have *o &any need*) DonCt /all in love
too &u,h +ith *2ending the &oney) You have to a*k your*el/ /ir*t be/ore
*2ending the &oney< i* it ne,e**aryJ $* it ti&e to *2endJ $/ $ donCt *2end<
,an $ liveJ Doe* &y li/e need thatJ Thi* i* the kind o/ Hue*tion*< +hi,h
&u*t be a*ked be/ore *2ending) $/ you think it i* not ne,e**ary 1u*t donCt
do it) Walk by that 2la,e) DonCt *ti,k around too long) $t +ill *2oil you in
the long run) Thi* i* a +ay to ,ontrol your &ind)
All o/ u* 2lea*e hel2 ,orre,t the da&age*) Begin ane+ by being /rugal<
and it +ill lead to having di*,i2line and order and to kno+ ho+ to
,ontrol our*elve*G kno+ the ti&e and the 2la,e< +hat *hould be done and
+hat not< then the /a&ily +ill be ha22y and /eel *e,ure in our o+n *ituation)
$/ every one o/ u* i* /rugal and be,o&e +ell o//< the e,ono&y o/ the
,ountry +ill be *tabiliBed) Thailand +ill 2rogre** and be eHual to other
nation* a* +e +i*h) Plea*e think about thi* a little)
)I?
Train Children to !ave 0oney at a Young Age >,ontCd@
Train Children to !ave 0oney at a Young Age >,ontCd@
P
P
LEA!E L$!TEN T" 0E) Li*ten to the good ne+* and re&e&ber it +ell
*o you ,an 2ra,ti,e /or the ha22ine** o/ your /a&ily and your*elve*)
Today $ have *o&ething to tell you)
"n,e u2on a ti&e +hen the Buddha +a* *till alive< he *2ent hi*
ti&e in !avatthee) #ing Pa*enthiko*ol be,a&e intere*ted in Buddhi*&
*o he had on o,,a*ion* li*tened to the tea,hing* o/ the Buddha) Then
the Buddha a/ter *taying there /or *o&e ti&e< he travelled to other ,itie*
to allo+ &ore 2eo2le to &eet and li*ten to hi&) "n,e he +ent to the
,ity o/ #o*a&2ee and *tayed at #ho*itara& Te&2le ,lo*e to the ,ity) At
that ti&e #ing Uthane had given ea,h lady in the 2ala,e a 2ie,e o/ good
Huality *ilk) All together there +ere *everal hundred 2ie,e* o/ *ilk /or
*everal hundred ladie*) Tho*e ladie* a/ter having re,eived the ,lothe*
+ent to li*ten to the *er&on at the abode o/ Phra Ananda) They +ere
all i&2re**ed o/ hi* tea,hing) All o/ the& de,ided to give all the *ilk
to Phra Ananda) There +ere /ive hundred ladie*) The neFt day< #ing
Uthane *a+ that none o/ hi* ladie* +a* u*ing the ne+ *ilk and +a* *ur2ri*ed)
He a*ked the&) When he kne+ that all the *ilk +a* given to
Phra Ananda< he ,ould not hel2 +ondering +hat a &onk ,ould do to
/ive hundred 2ie,e o/ *ilk) A/ter+ard* they &et and there +a* the /ollo+ing
dialogue'
#ing' $ +a* told that you re,eived /ive hundred *ilk ,lothe* /ro& &y *ervant*
in the 2ala,e)
Ananda' Ye*< Your 0a1e*ty< it i* true)
#ing' There +ere *o &any o/ the&) Could you u*e all o/ the&J
Ananda' $ a& a &an o/ *&all &ean*) $ a& ,ontent +ith +hat $ have
and u*e only +hat $ need) $ did not u*e all o/ the *ilk but $ gave the& to
the &onk* +ho had old robe*)
#ing' The &onk* +ho had old robe* re,eive ne+ robe*) What then did
they do to the old robe*J
)I6
Ananda' They gave their old robe* to tho*e +ho had older robe* *o
they ,ould ,hange that /or on,e)
Ananda' They gave their old robe* to tho*e +ho had older robe* *o
they ,ould ,hange that /or on,e)
Ananda' The old one* +ere *o old and ,ould not be u*ed a* the robe*
any &ore) They +ere u*ed a* &o2* to +i2e the /loor o/ our abode*)
#ing' What ha22ened then to the old &o2*J
Ananda' They +ere u*ed to +i2e the /eet +hen the &onk* entered
the abode*) Your 0a1e*ty)
#ing' What did you do +ith tho*e 2ie,e* o/ old rag* thenJ
Ananda' They +ere &iFed +ith ,lay to add on to the +all* o/ the
abode*) Your 0a1e*ty)
#ing' $ a& very 2lea*ed that the &onk* kno+ ho+ to u*e every 2ie,e o/
the robe* +ithout +a*ting any o/ the&< dear reverend)
.i/t giving to the &onk* +ho kno+ the value o/ all thing* 2rodu,e* good
re*ult*) The bene/it* are al+ay* great)
Thi* +a* a *tory about Phra Ananda< the 2er*onal attendant o/ the
Buddha) He +a* a virtuou* &onk) He kne+ the value o/ the thing* given
by the 2eo2le) He did not allo+ the gi/t* o/ the 2eo2le to be +a*ted at
all) Hi* +ay i* the right +ay) We *hould u*e hi* +ay in thi* day and age)
Any arti,le*< +hi,h ,an *till be u*ed< *hould not be di*,arded) They
*hould be re2aired and re,y,led /or u*e in another /un,tion or /or&)
$/ the hou*e+ive* kno+ +hat to do +ith u*ed &aterial* in the /a&ily<
they *hould /ind a +ay to ,ontinue u*ing the&) !o&e /a&ilie* have *o
&any ,lothe*) They +ere le/t hanging +ithout being u*ed) They *hould
be donated to the 2oor or +e *hould /ind a +ay to u*e the& *o&eho+)
We Buddhi*t* *hould ,on*ider doing the *a&e a* Phra Ananda)
To train *o&e one to be /rugal need* to be done *in,e ,hildren) Ho+
do +e do thatJ $ +ould like to tell you &y *tory 1u*t a little) $ a& *o /rugal
that *o&eti&e* $ +a* a,,u*ed o/ being *tingy) When $ +a* a little boy
$ did not have &any ,lothe*) $ +ent to *,hool and have on a 2air o/ bla,k
*hort 2ant* and one +hite *hirt) $ u*ed the& everyday and +a*hed the&
on,e in *even day* and u*ed /or *even day*) $ did not /eel that $ had any
)I9
2roble&*) !o&eti&e* $ /elt $ +anted a ne+ dre**) But the &oney in the
/a&ily did not allo+ it to ha22en) $ had to be ,ontent +ith +hat $ had) $
+alked to *,hool everyday be,au*e +e did not have any tran*2ortation)
The ink $ u*ed +a* in a *&all bottle) The 2en +a* 2artly &ade o/ ba&boo)
$ did not have to 2ay) $ ,ut it /ro& our /en,e any+here) 0y &other gave
&e only three *atang a day +hen $ attended the 2ri&ary *,hool) !he al*o
in*i*ted that $ did not *2end all and had to return one *atang) $ did a*
told) "n,e in a +hile $ violated the in*tru,tion and +a* 2uni*hed every
ti&e)
Then $ +ent to a *e,ondary *,hool) $t +a* /ar /ro& ho&e) $ re,eived
/ive or *iF baht 2o,ket &oney a &onth) $ had to *2end only /or the ne,e**itie*
and i/ there +a* no need $ did not *2end any at all) ;or lun,h a
di*h o/ ,urry ri,e only ,o*t three *atang) $ did not have any trouble +ith
that) $ +a* u*ed to not having a lot o/ &oney *o $ +a* a,,u*to&ed to not
*2ending any &oney) When $ re,eived any &oney $ ,ould not /ind a +ay
to *2end it) !o the &oney +a* al+ay* in &y 2o,ket) When $ be,a&e a
young &an< $ earned &y living +orking a* a labourer in a &ine &aking
))?: baht a day) $ did not *2end &u,h o/ the &oney either) $ thought
&oney +a* hard to &ake) $ had to ,arry *o heavy a load that &y *houlder*
+ere de/or&ed to &ake one baht) !o $ kne+ the value o/ +ork and
&oney very +ell)
When $ be,a&e a novi,e and +a* &ade a tea,her< &y *alary +a*
t+enty%/ive baht) $ did not *2end &u,h either be,au*e $ had the ri,e and
/ree lodging) A/ter having the robe* there +ere not *o &u,h need*) The
thing* $ bought a lot +ere book*) $ loved to *tudy) $ did not allo+ the ti&e
to 2a** by +ithout doing anything) $ loved to read /or kno+ledge and $
+ould buy any ne+ good book* even though they +ere eF2en*ive) !o &y
kno+ledge +a* in,rea*ing ea,h day) $ did not have any other eFtravagant
habit) And $ /elt that $ +a* ri,h at heart) $ did not have &u,h trouble +ith
&oney be,au*e +hen $ had the &oney $ did not *2end it i/ there +a* no
need to do *o)
When $ lived in Bangkok to *tudy $ had only =I6 baht) $ *2ent it /or
three year*) You &ay not believe &e but that +a* the truth) $ had only a
/e+ belonging*) Be*ide* a ri,e bo+l and the robe*< $ had one +ater bo+l)
)II
$ lived ,o&/ortably) 0y gue*t* +ould be given a gla** o/ ta2 +ater) $ did
not *&oke) $ did not *nu//) $ did not drink any hot tea) $ only ate +hat $
re,eived /ro& the &orning round o/ +alking +ith &y ri,e bo+l) $t +a*
a ,o&/ortable li/e) "ur ha22ine** i* to be ,ontent +ith +hat +e have)
To have enough i* ha22ine**) $/ it i* not enough then it i* unha22ine**)
Who trained &e to be /rugalJ Thi* +a* the +ork o/ &y &other< +ho did
/or &e *in,e $ +a* little) To give &e three *atang and told &e to return
one *atang +a* a &agi,al ta,ti, +hi,h *he trained &e to have re*traint<
to kno+ +hat i* enough in &y daily li/e) Everything *ee&ed to be going
+ell all the ti&e) Whenever $ needed eFtra &oney< e)g)< to buy book* and
2en,il*< *he never gave the &oney ea*ily) !he +ould a*k Hue*tion* *o *he
kne+ +hat +a* it all about) !he never gave anything to &e an ea*y +ay)
Whenever *he allo+ed &e to go out /or *o&e /un event* *he +ould give
&e ten *atang or &ore +ithout giving any *2e,ial in*tru,tion) But +hen
$ ,a&e ba,k in the evening *he +ould a*k +hether $ had any &oney le/t)
$/ $ had *2ent all $ +ould be given a long le,ture about the evil o/ *2ending
and eating too &u,h) 0oney +a* hard to ,o&e by and there +ould
be trouble ahead) The le**on* like thi* +ould tea,h our &ind little by little)
$t turned out to be the le**on o/ a li/eti&e) Even +hen $ rea,hed &y
adulthood< $ *till did not kno+ ho+ to be eFtravagant)
To tell you &y 2er*onal li/e *tory i* to allo+ you to kno+ the le**on*
in &y li/e) You ,an ada2t it to *uit your need* and your *tatu*) There are
lot* o/ 2eo2le +ho inve*t their &oney to de*troy the &ind o/ the ,hildren
by the &oney they have< e)g)< giving their ,hildren *o &u,h &oneyG
they a*k /or it and al+ay* get it< and very ,onveniently *o) They are a/raid
that the ,hildren +ill be unha22y) To do that i* to de*troy the &ind o/
the ,hildren) The ,hildren +ill never a22re,iate the value o/ &oney) They
think that &oney i* like a 2ebble< +hi,h ,an be ea*ily taken /ro& the 2arent*)
There i* no love in the &oney) The gratitude /or the one giving the
&oney doe* not eFi*t) $t *ee&* *o ea*y /or the&) $t i* very ea*y to *2oil
the ,hildren thi* +ay)
$ beg you the ri,h 2arent* +ho have ,hildren to be very ,are/ul
be,au*e the &oney ,an de*troy the ,hildren &ore ea*ily than anything
,an) 0oney ha* *2oiled &any ,hildren) "ne o/ &y ,hildhood /riend* +a*
)I5
like that) And until no+ he had not been able to re,over) Who*e /ault
+a* itJ $t +a* that o/ the 2arent* /or *ure)
like that) And until no+ he had not been able to re,over) Who*e /ault
+a* itJ $t +a* that o/ the 2arent* /or *ure)
dren
about /rugality you &u*t not indu,e any in/eriority ,o&2leF in the
,hildren) You ,an do that by eF2laining the real *ituation to the&) Tell
the& about the value o/ +ork< &oney< and the *ub1e,t* they *hould *tudy)
$t i* hard to tea,h anybody +hen he or *he ha* be,o&e young adult*)
They ,an ea*ily go out o/ the +ay any ti&e) $t i* ne,e**ary to eF2lain all
the rea*on* /or the& to under*tand) The behaviour +ill then be,o&e a
habit) A lot o/ ,hildren having le/t the +ing* o/ the 2arent* o/ten have
&oney 2roble&* be,au*e they donCt kno+ anything about &anaging the
&oney) The thing that &u*t be e&2ha*iBed to the Thai ,hildren i* that
the &oney i* not in the hand* o/ the Thai*< be,au*e Thai 2eo2le donCt
kno+ ho+ to *2end the &oney) They only 2ay out but no 2ay in) !o all
the &oney i* in the hand* o/ other 2eo2le) 0ake the& under*tand that to
be able to *ave one *atang i* the +ay to *ave one baht) $/ they donCt kno+
about *aving one *atang< one baht +ill never be realiBed)
No one in thi* +orld get* ri,h /ro& earning &u,h and *2ending
&ore) Peo2le get ri,h be,au*e o/ *aving &oney) Tell the& to look at beehive*)
The bee* have honey to /eed the young one* be,au*e the bee* ,olle,t
and a,,u&ulate little by little) The +hite ant* build ant hill* by adding
the earth little by little until it be,o&e* a big ant hill) Hu&an ha* to
a,,u&ulate too *o they +ill not be in trouble in the /uture) Take your
,hildren to the !avingC* Bank or buy the& a 2iggy bank and tea,h the&
to 2ut ,oin &oney in it) When it i* /ull< o2en it) The ,hildren +ill be
ha22y +ith that &oney they have *aved) Take the o22ortunity to tea,h
the& +here the &oney ,o&e* /ro&G ho+ it gro+* and i/ they kee2 doing
it there +ill be even &ore) Cultivate the *eed o/ /rugality in the& little by
little) They +ill gro+ u2 being able to *ave< to *2end< and to +ork to earn
&oney to kee2 it there) Plea*e tea,h your ,hildren to *ave &oney)
)I8
Train Children to Have .ratitude at a Young Age
Train Children to Have .ratitude at a Young Age
T
T
HERE $! A BUDDH$!T PR"-ERB< +hi,h +e *hould 2ay attention to<
and to u*e it to train our ,hildren) $t +ill hel2 our /a&ily to be,o&e
*table and *trong in the /uture) That 2roverb *tate*'
.ratitude and it* &ani/e*tation i* a *ign o/ a +hole*o&e 2er*on)
Thi* Buddhi*t 2roverb tea,he* u* that a good 2er*on ha* a *y&bol) The
*y&bol o/ a good 2er*on i* gratitude) Whoever ha* thi* virtue ha* the
*y&bol o/ goodne**) Whoever la,k* thi* virtue doe* not have the *y&bol
o/ goodne**) All the tea,hing* in Buddhi*& tea,h the 2eo2le to be
grate/ul) .ratitude i* a /oundation o/ the &oral*< a /oundation o/ 2rogre**)
$/ the 2eo2le o/ the +orld 2ra,ti,e thi* virtue< they +ill *urely *urvive)
$n the Dha&&a o/ the Buddha< there are tea,hing* about gratitude
in *o &any 2la,e*) And at the *a&e ti&e it ,riti,iBe* tho*e +ho la,k gratitude
in *everal 2la,e* a* +ell)
Phra !areebut< the BuddhaC* ,hie/ di*,i2le< ,a&e to be under the di*,i2line
be,au*e he had li*tened to the Dha&&a o/ Phra A**a,hi) A/ter
he +a* ordained to be a Buddhi*t &onk< every ti&e he +ent to *lee2
he +ould lie do+n +ith hi* head 2ointing in the dire,tion +here Phra
A**a,hi +a* *taying at the &o&ent) Thi* +a* to 2ay ho&age to hi* great
tea,her) !everal &onk* +ho did not kno+ about thi* /a,t a,,u*ed hi& o/
being a +or*hi22er o/ the dire,tion a* in Bhra&ani*&) The Buddha kne+
about the in,ident< *o he ,alled Phra !areebut over and then he *aid< DA
good 2er*on< +ho heard the Buddha Dha&&a /ro& anybody< +ill be
re*2e,t/ul to that 2er*on like a Bhra&in +or*hi2* a /ire)E
"n,e a Bhra&in +ho*e na&e +a* Ratha +anted to be ordained a* a
Buddhi*t &onk) He entered the te&2le to a*k /or a &onk to ordain hi&
but no one +anted to do that /or hi&) They all thought he +a* an old
&an< +ho +ould be di//i,ult to tea,h anything ne+) When he +ould not
)I4
be ordained he be,a&e 2iti/ully e&a,iated) The Buddha heard about hi&
*o he ,alled a &eeting o/ the &onk*) A/ter the &eeting +a* ,alled to order
he a*ked +hether anybody +ould re,all any /avour that had been done
by that Bhra&in to any o/ the &onk*) Phra !areebut *tood u2 and told
the Buddha that he ,ould re,all an in,ident that the Bhra&in had on,e
gave hi& a ladle o/ ri,e) The Buddha +a* ha22y) He ,o&2li&ented Phra
!areebut /or re&e&bering the good deed* that +a* done to hi& and that
he +a* a very grate/ul &an) He +ent on to *ay that good 2eo2le *hould
re&e&ber al+ay* the good thing* the other 2eo2le had done /or the&) A*
/or the thing* you did /or the other*< i/ you /orgot about it< it did not &atter)
And i/ there +a* a +ay to return the /avour you *hould do it i&&ediately)
The Buddha hi&*el/ +a* very /ir& on thi* virtue) An eFa&2le +a*
+hen he +ent to give a *er&on /or hi* 2arent* and the relative* in the ,ity
o/ #abila2ha*aduG hi* 2er&i**ion /or Prin,e** Pa,habodi #hota&ee to be
ordained a* a bhikkhunee in thi* religion in,luding the 1ourney to nur*e
#ing !uthothana +hen he +a* ill) All *ho+ed gratitude) We< Buddhi*t*<
*hould 2ay attention to thi* virtue and *hould 2ra,ti,e the be*t +e ,an)
"r +e +ill turn out to be 2er*on* o/ no value right a+ay)
.ratitude &ean* to a22re,iate the value o/ the /avour other 2eo2le
have done /or you) Even though the /avour &ay be a *&all one but it
i* *till valuable) Whoever ha* done you any /avour< you *hould al+ay*
re&e&ber the&) To re&e&ber and to a22re,iate the value o/ any /avour
done to you i* a *ign o/ a grate/ul 2er*on) When you have re&e&bered
you *hould /ind a +ay to return the /avour +henever you have a ,han,e
to do *o) A* long a* you have not returned the /avour you *till o+e the&
that /avour) .ood 2eo2le +hen they o+e *o&e one< they +ill try to 2ay
ba,k) Then they +ill be,o&e really good 2eo2le)
The 2eo2le< +ho read !a& #ok >Three Citie*@< a Chine*e hi*tori,al
annal*< like #uan U) The Chine*e +or*hi2 #uan U a* a god) They al*o
,on*ider hi& to be an angel) Why did they &ake #uan U and angelJ
They did that be,au*e #uan U +a* /ull o/ gratitude) Even though that
2er*on +a* hi* 2oliti,al o22onent but he had done hi& a /avour in the
2a*t *o he did not kill hi&) He did not even hurt hi&) #uan U allo+ed
hi& to 2a** un&ole*ted) Thi* i* a *y&bol o/ thi* hero)
)5:
.ratitude there/ore i* an i&2ortant virtue +e *hould in*till in the
&ind o/ the ,hildren +hen they are *till youngG to &ake it a habit *o
that +hen they gro+ u2 they have already got it in*ide like their *e,ond
nature) !o&e 2arent* ,o&2lain loudly< DToo badR "ur ,hildren are good
/or nothing) They are ungrate/ul to u*) We *hould not have allo+ed the&
to be born at all)E Word* like that ,o&e out o/ the &outh o/ the 2arent*<
+ho are di*a22ointed o/ their ,hildren) Why did they have to be di*a22ointedJ
Who &ade &i*take* in thi* +hole thingJ Were the ,hildren
+rong or +ere the 2arent* +rongJ $/ +e think about it *u2er/i,ially the
,hildren +ere +rong be,au*e it i* a duty o/ the ,hildren to love their 2arent*
and to be grate/ul to the&) But i/ +e think about it &ore dee2ly< the
&i*take* +ere a,tually ,au*ed by the 2arent*) The 2arent* did not tea,h
the ,hildren to a22re,iate the good deed* o/ the 2arent* in giving /ood<
,lothing< *helter< and everything to the ,hildren) But the ,hildren did
not realiBe the good deed* they +ere a,,u*to&ed to re,eive) They never
thought about not having< or not getting) When they did not think about
it they did not *ee ho+ &u,h the 2arent* did /or the&) $t i* the *a&e a*
eating ,urry everyday) $t ta*te* good) But +e donCt kno+ +hy) !alt &ake*
the ,urry ta*te good) The 2eo2le +ho eat the ,urry do not kno+ the value
o/ *alt) When there i* no *alt they kno+ the ,urry doe* not ta*te good)
The /eeling o/ gratitude +ill o,,ur at that 2oint)
The 2arent* are u*ually +ith the ,hildren everyday) They are a +ell o/
love and ,o&2a**ion /or the ,hildren) They al+ay* 2rovide +hatever the
,hildren +ant) !o the ,hildren have a hard ti&e /iguring out ho+ &u,h
/avour the 2arent* have done /or the& +hile they are *till alive) "n,e the
2arent* are gone then they kno+ they have lo*t *o&ething very i&2ortant
in their live*) They /eel the gratitude +hen the t+o 2arent* have le/t
thi* +orld) $t i* too bad that they have lo*t the good o22ortunity to re2ay
the&) But +e ,annot really bla&e the ,hildren) We have to bla&e the
2arent*) !o it i* ne,e**ary /or the 2arent* to tea,h the ,hildren all the
ti&e to be grate/ul to the 2arent*) The Hue*tion i* ho+ +e are going to
tea,h the&) $ +ill tell you a* /ollo+*'
)) EFa&2le i* ,ontagiou*) You &u*t *et an eFa&2le /or your ,hildren
)5)
*o they *ee that you are a grate/ul 2er*on) You have your o+n 2arent*)
"ur 2arent* are +ith u* all the ti&e) They are never /ar a+ay
/ro& u*) To have your E 2arent* in your /a&ily a* the grand /ather
and grand &other on both *ide* i* really good be,au*e you +ill
be able to tea,h your ,hildren by allo+ing the& to *ee ho+ +ell
you behave to+ard* your 2arent*) Anything you do to $ your 2arent*
are good) They +ill have an e//e,t right a+ay both good and
bad) $ have *een *o &any o/ the&) We &u*t be ,are/ul) $/ you +ant
your ,hildren to re*2e,t you< you have to re*2e,t your 2arent* and
&ake *ure that your ,hildren have *een you doing it) $/ you +ant
your ,hildren to look a/ter you +hen you be,o&e old< you have
to look a/ter your 2arent* and they have to *ee you doing it) You
&u*t treat your 2arent* ni,ely) You &u*t look u2 to your 2arent* a*
*a,red being* in your /a&ily< an angel +ho *hould be +or*hi22ed)
The 2arent* are inviolable) You &u*t al+ay* talk to your 2arent*
in a 2olite and re*2e,t/ul &anner) That i* to allo+ your ,hildren
to learn< to re&e&ber< to be a good eFa&2le< and to ,ultivate good
+hole*o&e tradition in your /a&ily o/ Dgood 2eo2leE >2hu dee@< +ho
2o**e** goodne** in their heart)
A /a&ily o/ +hole*o&e 2eo2le i* +here goodne** re*ide*) That /a&ily
i* a ho&e o/ good 2eo2le) At the *a&e ti&e you ,an de&on*trate
a* an eFa&2le /or your ,hildren that Dtheir grand /ather* and grand
&other*E are the 2eo2le< +ho gave you the kno+ledgeG +ho /ound
you a 1obG +ho gave you a 2la,e to live) Without the grand2arent*
you +ould not have been born and +ould not be ha22y) Your ,hildren
+ould not be ha22y either) Their grand 2arent* have done great
/avour* /or you) !o your ,hildren &u*t love and re*2e,t their grand
2arent* and re*2e,t their 2arent* a* +ell) You &ay give *ugge*tion*
or you &ay a*k Hue*tion* *o the ,hildren +ill have to think about
the&) You &u*t &ake the& realiBe that their 2arent* are the li/e and
everything to the&) The ,hildren +ill have dee2 love /or their 2arent*)
Tho*e +ho love their 2arent* are obedient ,hildren) They donCt
u*ually &ake any trouble /or the 2arent*)
)5=
"n au*2i,iou* day* *u,h a* the 2arent*C birthday*< the Ne+ Year Day< the
Buddha Day and A*alha2u1a Day< +hi,h are all i&2ortant< you *hould
*ho+ your gratitude to your 2arent* /or the ,hildren to ob*erve< /or eFa&2le<
by giving the& ea,h a gi/t and 2ouring +ater on their hand* in a,,ordan,e
+ith our ,u*to&*) You &ay al*o ,ook /or the& *2e,ial di*he* that
they like) You *hould al*o eF2lain to the ,hildren the rea*on you are
doing it) Thi* i* a +ay to ,ultivate gratitude in the &ind o/ the ,hildren)
A/ter your 2arent* have 2a**ed a+ay you *hould &ake &erit* /or the&)
$n all &erit &aking< or in ,a*e you have a *2e,ial &onu&ent to 2ut their
a*he* +here you *hould take your ,hildren< tea,h the& to re&e&ber
and to 2ay re*2e,t to the good deed* o/ their an,e*tor*) Al*o eF2lain to
the& the rea*on /or doing it) What the &eaning o/ thi* 2la,e i* and ho+
i&2ortant it i* to the ,hildren) $/ you only tell the& to 2ay re*2e,t to the
2la,e< it doe* not &ean that &u,h)
=)
Train your ,hildren to under*tand about returning a /avour +hen
+ere *till little) Talk to your ,hildren about the relation*hi2 in
your /a&ily *o they kno+ the duty o/ the /ather and the &other)
Let the& kno+ that the 2arent* are like a bodh tree to the ,hildren)
Without the *hade o/ the tree< the ,hildren +ill *urely *u//er)
Tell the& little by little) 0ake the& realiBe that they +ere
born /ro& the 2arent*) All /le*h and blood belong to the 2arent*<
all /ood belong* to the ,hildren) The 2arent* are their 2rote,tor*)
A*k the& i/ they donCt have you< +ill they be in troubleJ Talk to
the& o/ten or /ind a good *tory about gratitude and grate/ulne**
to tell the&) At the end you &u*t ,o&2are the *tory to the li/e o/
the ,hildren every ti&e) $t +ill &ake the& under*tand &ore about
being grate/ul)
To train the& to learn to u*e the +ord Dthank*E and Dthank youE i*
*o&ething good to do) Tho*e +ord* are eF2re**ion* indi,ating a22re,iation
in advan,e) $n general &o*t /a&ilie* have not 2ra,ti,ed it) $
+ould like to a*k you to do it) You *hould tell your ,hildren to 2ay
re*2e,t be/ore re,eiving any thing /ro& you) DonCt allo+ the& to
a,,e2t anything +ithout *ho+ing gratitude) When your ,hildren
)5?
+ant to go out< they &u*t be told to a*k /ir*t /or 2er&i**ion) Be/ore
they leave they have to 2ay re*2e,t by 2ro*trating the&*elve*) To
*ee ,hildren 2ro*trating in /ront o/ the 2arent* i* a beauti/ul *ight to
behold) When they return they *hould re2ort ba,k and 2ro*trating
the&*elve* again)
+ant to go out< they &u*t be told to a*k /ir*t /or 2er&i**ion) Be/ore
they leave they have to 2ay re*2e,t by 2ro*trating the&*elve*) To
*ee ,hildren 2ro*trating in /ront o/ the 2arent* i* a beauti/ul *ight to
behold) When they return they *hould re2ort ba,k and 2ro*trating
the&*elve* again)
ent*)
They *hould ,o&e to *ay good night re*2e,t/ully) The 2arent*
+ill +i*h the& +ell /or the night) $n the &orning a/ter they +ake
u2 they *hould ,o&e again) $t *hould be done every day and all the
ti&e until it be,o&e* a habit< *o&ething to do +ithout 2retending)
Thi* i* one good deed) Be*ide tho*e< the 2arent* *hould train the&
to take ,are o/ the 2arent*) Tea,h the& to do *o&e &inor ta*k* /or
the&) DonCt /or,e the& to do the +ork but &ake *ure they do it voluntarily)
Tho*e +ho did any +ork +ill be given re+ard* or they +ill
be ,o&2li&ented in /ront o/ other ,hildren in the &eeting in the
evening) Thi* +ill hel2 &ake the ,hildren under*tand the &eaning
o/ gratitude to *o&e eFtent)
$n *hort< it i* the duty o/ the 2arent* to train the ,hildren to under*tand
thi* to2i, that i/ they donCt do it< it i* *in/ul be,au*e they negle,t to do
their duty) Dear Parent< have you done the above dutyJ
)56
Train Your Children to ;orgive
Train Your Children to ;orgive
"
"
NE DAY around three oC,lo,k in the a/ternoon t+o 2eo2le +a* arguing
loudly) Both o/ the& +ere angry) Darkne** ,a&e over their
&ind*) They ,ould not *ee right /ro& +rong) Both +o&en did not +ant
to give an in,h) Not only the t+o o/ the& +ere there at the *,ene but al*o
a big audien,e) They loved to *ee an o2en air *ho+) And the *ho+ +a* /or
/ree too) $t +a* al*o o2en /or everybody to *ee ,onveniently) Why +ere
the t+o o/ the& HuarrellingJ $t +a* only a *&all &atter) $t ha22ened
to be about the ,hildren and not the adult*) But the adult* +ere hurt
in*tead) They intervened and the &atter got out o/ ,ontrol)
The na&e* o/ the 2arent* +ere #ha&keo and Bua2han) #ha&keo
ha* a *on about /our year* old) Bua2han had a *on about the *a&e age) But
Bua2hanC* *on +a* *&aller be,au*e he +a* *i,kly) The t+o boy* 2layed
together all the ti&e) They naturally Huarrelled +hen they 2layed but
the in,ident* +ere not *o *eriou*) They +ere angry +ith ea,h other /or a
+hile< and then they +ould get together again and 2layed) They did not
have any ill +ill in their young &ind*) That day #ha&keoC* *on grabbed
a toy /ro& the hand* o/ Bua2hanC* *on and 2layed alone) Bua2hanC* *on
,ried and ran to hi* &other) That day the &other +a* in a bad &ood
be,au*e *he had lo*t in a ,ard ga&e) Having heard +hat her *on *aid
*he +a* /uriou*) !he +ent out o/ her hou*e and grabbed the toy /ro&
#ha&keoC* *on) !he al*o *la22ed at the boy /or bullying her *on) The
boy +ho +a* *la22ed ran to tell hi* &other) The &other +a* /uriou*) !o
they o2en an o2en%air theatre /or a big *ho+) $t +a* *o &u,h /un) Thi*
*tory +a* the *a&e a* Da dro2 o/ honeyE) $t be,a&e a ,ivil +ar) Why did
it have to be like thatJ
$t i* natural /or ,hildren that they donCt like to be alone) $/ you let
t+o ,hildren *tay in one 2la,eG the t+o babie* +ill ,ra+l to+ard* ea,h
other even though they ,ould not talk to ea,h other) They +ould &ake
a *ound or t+o and 2lay together a* little babie* do) They &u*t have
learned *o&ething /ro& ea,h other in thi* en,ounter) Thi* i* a ,har
)59
a,ter o/ inno,ent ,hildren) When they gro+ u2 and they ,an talk they
learn to 2lay +ith the toy*) They are ha22y to *ee their /riend*) When
they 2lay +ith *o&e one they kno+ +ell< they +ill en1oy the&*elve* a
lot) Even though there &ay be *o&e ,on/li,t*< they +ould be *o&ething
&inor) The adult* *hould not &ake the& big) Con*ider the& a &atter o/
the ,hildren) Be/ore long< they +ill no longer be angry and 2lay together
again) The adult* &u*t /ind a +ay to ,ultivate love< unity< and devotion<
and do not allo+ anybody to take advantage o/ one another)
a,ter o/ inno,ent ,hildren) When they gro+ u2 and they ,an talk they
learn to 2lay +ith the toy*) They are ha22y to *ee their /riend*) When
they 2lay +ith *o&e one they kno+ +ell< they +ill en1oy the&*elve* a
lot) Even though there &ay be *o&e ,on/li,t*< they +ould be *o&ething
&inor) The adult* *hould not &ake the& big) Con*ider the& a &atter o/
the ,hildren) Be/ore long< they +ill no longer be angry and 2lay together
again) The adult* &u*t /ind a +ay to ,ultivate love< unity< and devotion<
and do not allo+ anybody to take advantage o/ one another)
DDonCt you *ee that your /riend i* younger than youJ He i* like your little
brother) You al+ay* re,eive 2rote,tion /ro& your older brother) DonCt
youJ You are olderG you &u*t hel2 hi&) You *hould *hare the /ood and
the toy* +ith hi&) To *hare the /ood and the toy* +ith your +eaker
/riend* i* a good thing) You +ill be a likable 2er*on) They +ill *y&2athiBe
+ith you) $/ +e hel2 the& today< to&orro+ they +ill hel2 u*)E U*e
the *tory o/ the lion and the &ou*e to tell the&) The ,hildren +ill *ee the
di//eren,e bet+een the t+o ani&al*) The little &ou*e +a* able to hel2
the lion) $/ your ,hildren love to bully other ,hildren< you *hould tell the
*tory about the ele2hant and the little bird) The ,hildren +ill under*tand
it i* not ni,e to bully other ,hildren) But to love and have *y&2athy like
real brother* and *i*ter* +ill &ake the& a lot ha22ier) Unity +ill al*o
2revail a&ong that grou2 o/ ,hildren) E*2e,ially in the *a&e /a&ily< it i*
very i&2ortant) "nene** in a /a&ily i* &o*t de*irable)
When ,hildren did *o&ething +rong to other ,hildren< the adult*
*hould advi*e the& to a*k the vi,ti&iBed ,hildren /or /orgivene** *o they
+ill re,ogniBe the /a,t that they had done +rongG they had done i&2ro2erly)
DPlea*e /orgive &e)E Thi* 2ra,ti,e +ill train the ,hildren to have
*2orting *2irit*G to a,,e2t the /a,t +hen they +ere +rong and to lo*e
gra,e/ully< +hi,h +a* the +ay o/ *2ort*)
)5I
$t i* al*o a good deed) $n general +e have our 2ride and our ego) We
think o/ the& or o/ u* and +e donCt yield an in,h to other 2eo2le)
$t i* al*o a good deed) $n general +e have our 2ride and our ego) We
think o/ the& or o/ u* and +e donCt yield an in,h to other 2eo2le)
dren
did *o&ething +rong< tell the& to a*k /or /orgivene** and then
+arn the& not to re2eat that &i*take again) Thi* i* one thing to do)
You rai*e your ,hildrenG you /ind /ood< ,lothing and other thing*
/or the&) Be/ore you give the& to the ,hildren< you have to *ele,t only
the be*t) ;or eFa&2le< you +ill *ele,t the /ood that +ill not be 2oi*onou*
to the 2hy*i,al +ell being o/ the ,hildren) When they are big enough
to go to *,hool or young enough to have /un< it i* nor&al that they +ill
have /riend*) A**o,iation i* very i&2ortant) The Buddha *aid< DTo *2eak
about eFternal ,au*e*< +hi,h +ill &ake or break a &an< nothing i*
&ore i&2ortant than a**o,iation) A**o,iation +ill &ake 2eo2le goodG
it +ill al*o &ake 2eo2le bad) $t i* all u2 to the 2eo2le +e a**o,iate +ith)
Young &en donCt have the eye* to *ele,t the bad one* or the good one*< *o
it i* u2 to the 2arent* to a,t a* hel2er*) What to do to kno+ about the
/riend* o/ your ,hildrenJ $n a ,a*e like thi*< the 2arent* &u*t allo+ your
,hildren to bring their /riend* ho&e< e)g)< to ,o&e to have lun,h together<
to ,o&e /or a talk or relaFation) You allo+ the& to have /reedo& and
at the *a&e ti&e you +ill lo+er your level to be,o&e /riend* o/ your
,hildren and to be,o&e /riend* o/ your ,hildrenC* /riend*) $t +ill be to
your big advantage to do that) ;ir*t o/ all the ,hildren +ill *ee that their
ho&e i* a ,o&/ortable enough 2la,e< they donCt have to /ind another 2la,e<
+hi,h &ay not be *uitable /or young 2eo2le) !e,ondly< you have a ,han,e
to learn to kno+ the habit* o/ the /riend* +ho ,a&e +ith your ,hildren)
$/ you *ee *o&ething a&i**< you +ill think o/ a +ay to *olve the 2roble&)
$/ it look* ho2ele**< then you +ill have to tell the ,hildren to *tay a+ay
)55
/ro& the /riend*< +ho are dee&ed to have 2roble&*) Thi* i* ho+ to hel2
your ,hildren) Re&e&ber to &ake your ho&e a 2la,e o/ en1oy&ent< and
to &ake your*elve* the /riend* in need o/ your ,hildren) $t +ill be ea*ier
to i&2rove the habit o/ your ,hildren)
The a**o,iation o/ the ,hildren +ith other 2eo2le i* very i&2ortant
be,au*e hu&an* are *o,ial ani&al*) They &u*t live together in variou*
grou2*) To live together< it i* ne,e**ary to do that both 2hy*i,ally and
&entally a* +ell) The 2arent* &u*t train the ,hildren to &ake /riend*<
to learn to ,oo2erate a&ong /a&ily &e&ber* and a&ong the relative*<
a&ong /riend* in,luding the 2eo2le o/ the *a&e nation< the *a&e language<
and the *a&e religion) That i* to ,reate unity in the ,o&&unity
be,au*e every ra,e and every language need to be united) Love and unity
a&ong the ,hildren are the /oundation o/ the unity in the ,o&&unity)
The /uture +ill be dark /or ,hildren +ho la,k thi* virtue) !o the duty o/
the 2arent* in en,ouraging the ,hildren to have unity a&ong /riend*< i*
very i&2ortant) They need to *et a good eFa&2le) The /ather and the
&other &u*t really love ea,h other) The t+o o/ the& *hould not Huarrel)
They have to grin and bear it) Whatever ha22ened they &u*t be 2atient)
#ee2 the& in*ide and never let the& eF2lode in their /a,e) Put our rotten
egg a+ay) $/ it doe* not break< it doe* not *&ell) Whenever it i* broken<
it *tink*) To *ee 2arent* argue i* very tire*o&e to the ,hildren) $t i*
al*o a bad eFa&2le /or the&) !o the 2arent* &u*t be ,are/ul) Whenever
they have to talk +ith a red /a,e< +ait until the ,hildren have gone to bed
to 2revent the& /ro& *eeing the bad *,ene) You have to be very ,are/ul
about thi*) $t ha* done a great deal o/ da&age in the 2a*t)
There i* al*o another da&age< +hi,h +ill break the ,hildren a+ay
/ro& their /riend* and ,reate &ore di*unity) A/ter a boy +a* bullied by
hi* /riend< he ,a&e ho&e and told hi* 2arent* about the in,ident) When
the /ather heard the *tory he be,a&e /uriou*) He /elt *lighted by +hat
he heard) He *aid in anger< DYou ,ould not /ight hi&R You are not a &anR
Are you a ,o+ardJ DonCt you have a hand to /ightJE All tho*e +ord* +ere
uttered 1u*t to hurt hi* *onC* /eeling*< to *tir u2 revenge< to urge hi& to
take revenge/ul a,tion) That i* har&/ul) $t i* again*t the religiou* 2rin,i2le)
$ beg the 2arent* never to do anything like that) $n*tead you *hould
)58
/ind a +ay to ,on*ole hi&) Tell hi& it +a* a *&all &atter) $t did not hurt
that &u,h) He did not &ean to hurt you) ;orgive hi& /or doing it< *o you
,an 2lay +ith hi& again the neFt ti&e) Train the boy to /orgive hi&) Tell
hi& to de/eat the evil +ith hi* virtue) Learn to de/eat anger +ith non
anger) To +in /riend* +ith your +hole*o&ene** +ill &ake you ha22ier)
$t i* the right thing to do) 0ake hi& under*tand that by not hitting ba,k<
not *+earing ba,k< not doing anything to the /riend*< +ho did *o&e bad
thing* to you< i* not ,on*idered ,o+ardly at all) But it i* the ,hara,ter o/
a good 2er*on< o/ a 2er*on +ho +in* over one *el/) To +in over one *el/
i* the &o*t gloriou* vi,tory) To tea,h your ,hildren thi* +ay i* a better
+ay< a *a/er +ay)
/ind a +ay to ,on*ole hi&) Tell hi& it +a* a *&all &atter) $t did not hurt
that &u,h) He did not &ean to hurt you) ;orgive hi& /or doing it< *o you
,an 2lay +ith hi& again the neFt ti&e) Train the boy to /orgive hi&) Tell
hi& to de/eat the evil +ith hi* virtue) Learn to de/eat anger +ith non
anger) To +in /riend* +ith your +hole*o&ene** +ill &ake you ha22ier)
$t i* the right thing to do) 0ake hi& under*tand that by not hitting ba,k<
not *+earing ba,k< not doing anything to the /riend*< +ho did *o&e bad
thing* to you< i* not ,on*idered ,o+ardly at all) But it i* the ,hara,ter o/
a good 2er*on< o/ a 2er*on +ho +in* over one *el/) To +in over one *el/
i* the &o*t gloriou* vi,tory) To tea,h your ,hildren thi* +ay i* a better
+ay< a *a/er +ay)
Thailand i* 2re*ently ,alling /or unity a&ong the 2eo2le be,au*e
+e are in the &iddle o/ the re,on*tru,tion o/ our ,ountry) The ,ountry
doe* not belong to any *2e,i/i, individual< but it belong* to all o/ u*)
We have to hel2 out any +ay +e ,an /or the 2rogre** o/ our ,ountry) To
do that +e &u*t do thing* together< do it attentively and /or the bene/it*
o/ the +hole) The 2o+er o/ the 2eo2le +ho gather together in variou*
grou2* i* the &o*t i&2ortant) The 2o+er &u*t be built +ithin a /a&ily
/ir*t) 0e&ber* o/ the /a&ily &u*t be *y&2atheti, +ith one another) They
&u*t *ee to it that the develo2&ent i* *2read to their neighbour* then on
to every one in the *a&e nation) Thi* +ill ,reate tre&endou* 2o+er) The
,ountry +ill go /or+ard a* 2lanned to the de*tination< +hi,h i* 2ro2er
+ithout any doubt)
To *u&&ariBe thi* ,ha2ter< train your ,hildren to be able to treat
their /riend* a* brother* and *i*ter*< to love and to have unity +ith one
another< to /orgive< to be tolerant< to have *2orting *2irit* in a,,ordan,e
+ith the Dha&&a 2rin,i2le) You +ill have done your 1ob o/ ,ultivating a
good habit in your ,hildren)
)54
Train Children to De2end "n M Hel2 "ne*el/
Train Children to De2end "n M Hel2 "ne*el/
W
W
E A! BUDDH$!T! &u*t have heard a Buddha 2roverb< +hi,h i* a
great re&inder /or u*) Whoever abide* by thi* 2roverb +ill be
able to *urvive in thi* +orld) Thi* 2roverb *ay*<
$t &ean*< D"ne ha* to hel2 one*el/)E The 2hra*e D"ne ha* to hel2 one*el/ C
ha* very dee2 &eaning) But +e Buddhi*t* have u*ed it a bit too little) !o
+e be,o&e +eakG +e donCt +ant hard +ork and +e donCt like ea*y +ork
either) We donCt think about de2ending on our*elve*) We donCt build our
live* u*ing our o+n ability) We 1u*t +ait to be hel2ed by the other* all the
ti&e) When +e run out o/ hel2er* +e 1u*t gru&ble) D$ a& *o unlu,ky< $
have to de2end on &y*el/ all the ti&e)E We *ee& to think that anybody<
+ho de2end* on the other*< or *o&e one< +ho donCt +ant to +ork< i* /or
tunate) A hero in the 2oint o/ vie+ o/ the Thai 2eo2le i* one +ho i* *li&
and +eak +ho ,an hardly +alk due to 2oor health) When he en,ounter*
any di//i,ulty< he +ould *ho+ hi* +eakne** right out) Thi* kind o/ hero
,annot go /ar be,au*e he ,annot hel2 hi&*el/) Why are +e that +ayJ The
Dha&&a tea,hing* in our religion are all good but +e do not u*e the&)
!o +e have not re,eived any bene/it /ro& our religion) We have to try to
,orre,t thi* big &i*take) $n order /or all o/ u* to be *trong and tough
and to be ha22y to ,on/ront any kind* o/ +ork< no &atter ho+ di//i,ult
they are< +e have to begin /ro& ,hildhood)
We are not that good in regard to rai*ing our ,hildren) That i* +hy
our ,hildren are +eak) Why $ *aid it +a* not goodJ $ ,an *ay *i&2ly
that +e nurture our ,hildren too &u,h) We 2ay too &u,h attention to
the&G +e ,arry the& around all the ti&e and +e do not allo+ our ,hildren
to have any /reedo& at all) Either the &other or the grand&other*
+ould hel2 ,arry the& bodily on her la2 and 2ay *o &u,h attention to
the& that the ,hildren be,o&e ,ry babie*) When they ,ry there +ould
be *o&e one to take ,are o/ the& but +ithout kno+ing the rea*on +hy)
When *he heard the noi*e< *he +ould ,arry the baby and /eed hi& or her
right a+ay) The /eeding i* done too &u,h that it ,au*e* a *to&a,h u2*et
)8:
be,au*e the dige*tive *y*te& ha* gone bad) "ur +ay o/ rai*ing our babie*
i* +or*e than that o/ the ,at* and the dog*) You &u*t not be angry +ith
&e /or u*ing that ,o&2ari*on) Plea*e li*ten ,are/ully *o you +ill under*tand
a little thi* +hole i**ue)
While $ +a* +riting thi* arti,le< a dog 1u*t gave birth to /our 2u22ie*
in our tunnel at Wat U&ong) A novi,e at the te&2le told &e about the&)
!o $ told hi& to &ove the dog* to a hole in the +all o/ the big 2agoda near
&y abode) While $ +a* +riting $ ,ould al*o ob*erve the &ove&ent* o/ the
&other dog all day long) During the day< in the &orning< the &other dog
+ent to /ind *o&e /ood at the kit,hen) !he le/t the 2u22ie* alone) $ +ent
to take a 2eek at the&) They +ere lying one on to2 o/ the other*) $t +a*
a lovely *ight to behold) The hair +a* ,lean and looked *o/t to the tou,h)
When the &other had eaten her /ood< *he ,a&e to her 2u22ie*) !he lay
do+n and let the 2u22ie* *u,k /or the &ilk) !he al*o ,leaned her 2u22ie*)
$ noti,ed that every ti&e *he +ould li,k the anu* o/ ea,h 2u22y to let the
urine ,o&e out) !he li,ked it ,lean and li,ked all over the body a* a +ay
to ,lean it u2) A/ter the /eeding< the &other +ould leave i&&ediately)
!he +ould lie do+n *o&e +here el*e) !he ,a&e ba,k around )):: P)0)
/or another /eeding and *he al*o did the *a&e thing all over again) $n the
evening *he returned one &ore ti&e) $t *ee&ed to &e all 2u22ie* +ere
*trong and healthy) A/ter )9 day*< their eye* had not o2ened and ,ould
not +alk but they ,ra+led all over) Thi* +a* a *tory o/ a dog)
$t +a* the *a&e /or a ,at) ;eeding and ,leaning +ere done 2un,tually
all day) ;or the ,at< +hen the kitten* gro+ u2 and +ith a /ull *et o/ teeth
and ,anine*< *he +ould *tart tea,hing the kitten* to de2end on the&*elve*
right a+ay) !he took the& do+n belo+) Her &ethod +a* by +alking
in the /ront and ,rying all the ti&e< &eo+< &eo+) Her eye* +ould
look /or any danger* all around) $/ a dog +alked 2a*t her< *he +ould *uddenly
go a/ter the dog to 2rote,t the kitten*) While they +ere +alking< i/
the kitten* +alked too *lo+ly< *he +ould +ait /or the& to ,at,h u2) Then
*he +ould lead the& through the tall gra**) !he 1u&2ed to allo+ the kitten*
to do like+i*e) !o&eti&e* *he +ould hide and let the kitten* *eek /or
her) The +hole thing +a* to train the kitten* to hel2 the&*elve*) $n the
beginning the kitten* ,ould not ,at,h a &ou*e) !he taught the& to do it
)8)
,orre,tly) "ne day *he ,aught a *Huirrel) !he le/t it /or the kitten*) The
little one* +ere at /ir*t *,ared) They +ent to hide near the +all be,au*e
they +ere /ear/ul) !he 2i,ked the *Huirrel u2 +ith her &outh and +ent
a/ter the kitten* to *ho+ the& ho+ to ,at,h their 2rey) !he ,he+ed on it
until the blood ooBed out) When they *&elled blood they ,a&e at it and
took it by the &outh to /eed on it) The &other 1u*t *at there and +at,hed)
!he ate +hat the kitten* le/t) A/ter the kitten* had gro+n u2 then *he
had no &ore re*2on*ibility to look a/ter the&) The 2u22ie* and the kitten*
had to /end /or the&*elve*) Thi* +a* the +ay o/ ,at* and dog*)
No+ let u* look at the bird* in the *ky) $t i* the *a&e< i)e)< to lay egg*
and to hat,h the& and to nurture the& +hen the little bird* have no
+ing* that ,an /ly) When the +ing* get *tronger< they /ly together /ro&
one tree to another /ir*t until the +ing* be,o&e *trong enough to be able
to /ly) When they ,an /ly< the &other let the& /ly a+ay) You have to live
on your o+n +ing* and your o+n beak) Ani&al* have their +ay o/ rai*ing
their young one* like that) But ho+ do +e hu&an being* do thatJ
$ did not &ean /or you to have to do like that all the ti&e) But $
+ould like /or you to have an ideali*ti, thought that you +ant to bring u2
your ,hildren *o they ,an hel2 the&*elve*< and not having to hold the&
al+ay* in our ar&*) You 1u*t rai*e the& to gro+ u2 and not to rai*e
the& /orever) The We*terner* *ay< DThe Thai 2eo2le rai*e their ,hildren
not to gro+ u2)E Thi* i* the truth) Even though our ,hildren gro+ u2
2hy*i,ally but they *till talk like little ,hildren) They talk and a*k /or the
&oney /ro& their &other all the ti&e) !o&e o/ the& have already graduated
/ro& a univer*ity) They have a 1ob but they *till need &oney /ro& the
&other) Thi* i* ,alled rai*ing ,hildren not to gro+ u2) The We*terner*
rai*e their ,hildren to gro+ u2 be,au*e they only do that +hen the ,hildren
,annot hel2 the&*elve*) When the ,hildren ,an de2end on the&*elve*<
they +ill allo+ the ,hildren to be on their o+n) The 2arent* +ill
only kee2 an eye on the& and to give *o&e advi,e) That i* all) They donCt
do anything el*e /or the&) They +ill &ake the ,hildren +ait /or the 2arent*C
&oney) They donCt give any &oney to the& until a/ter they have died)
Every one o/ the& ha* to /ind /ood and *helter /or the&*elve*) That i*
+hy their 2eo2le are *trong and tough) Their ,ountrie* have 2rogre**ed
)8=
*o &u,h< be,au*e they train their ,hildren that +ay)
*o &u,h< be,au*e they train their ,hildren that +ay)
dler*
+ho 1u*t learn to +alk) He /all* then he +ill get u2 again) Let hi&
+alk) He /all* then he +ill get u2 again) Let hi& +alk< let hi& /all) The
only thing i* you have to be ,are/ul not to let hi& /all /ro& high 2la,e*)
$t i* really an ob*ta,le /or an advan,e&ent o/ the ,hildren that the gro+n%
u2* donCt let the& +alk on their o+n< be,au*e the leg* are /or +alking)
They +ill be lean and +eak i/ they are not u*ed &u,h) !o&e ,hildren
have gro+n u2 and they *till +alk un*teadily) That i* a re*ult o/ the
adult* blo,king their gro+th) Plea*e re&e&ber not to be a hindran,e to
the natural gro+th o/ the ,hildren) Let the& gro+ the +ay they are *u22o*ed
to) Everything +ill turn out all right) $n the old day* in Thailand<
there +ere &any /a&ilie* o/ the *o%,alled ari*to,rat*) $n *u,h a /a&ily the
,hildren< +ho +ere loved very &u,h by the 2arent*< +ould be the one*
+ho ,ould not hel2 the&*elve*) They +ould be +eak in all a*2e,t*) A/ter
the 2arent* +ere gone< they u*ed the inheritan,e to live on) When the
&oney +a* totally *2ent< they be,a&e totally hel2le**) That +a* a *y*te&<
+hi,h ,reated +eakling*) $n the 2re*ent ti&e< +e ,an no longer rai*e our
,hildren that +ay) We &u*t do the be*t +e ,an to &ake our ,hildren
tough and *trong) They &u*t learn to do all kind* o/ +ork no &atter
ho+ hard they are) The only +ay to a,,o&2li*h that i* by having the&
to de2end on the&*elve* /ro& ,hildhood) Plea*e do not hel2 the& to do
everything)
)8?
"n,e $ +a* on a boat tri2 /ro& !ri Lanka) When the boat arrived in
Rangoon< *everal Cau,a*ian /a&ilie* ,a&e on board) There +ere *everal
,hildren both boy* and girl*) $ did not *ee the 2arent* 2aying the& *o
&u,h attention) $t +a* the duty o/ a nur*e on board the *hi2 to take ,are
o/ the ,hildren) At &eal ti&e*< they all ate together and they had good
table &anner) $ looked and ,ould not hel2 +ondering +hy that ,ould
ha22en) But $ got &y an*+er right a+ay that they trained their ,hildren
to hel2 the&*elve* in every *te2 o/ their live*) Thai ,hildren &u*t be /ed
by hand until they +ere gro+n) 0o*t o/ the ti&e +hile they +ere eating<
they +ould +alk all over the 2la,e) That +a* not right at all) You *hould
train the& to eat by the&*elve* and *o nobody +ould have to be bothered)
Be*ide* the ,hildren +ould learn to do thing* they *hould be able
to do any +ay)
Children old enough to ,o&e and go on their o+n *hould be trained
to take ,are o/ the&*elve*< e)g)< +hen< +here and ho+ to +alk on the
*treet and ho+ to ,ro** at an inter*e,tion) Train the& to be alert in u*ing
their eye* and ear*< to kno+ ho+ to take an eva*ive a,tion +hen there
+ere danger*) Nor&ally hu&an +ill kno+ to avoid a danger i/ they have
to look a/ter the&*elve*) But i/ they kno+ that there are other 2eo2le
looking out /or the&< they +ill 2ay no attention to do that by the&*elve*)
That i* a /a,t o/ li/e) Hel2 the& to kno+ ho+ to u*e +hat they have got)
$t +ill hel2 to gro+ intelle,tually)
Children around ))7)= year* old and attending the 6th grade at the
lea*t< ,an read Huite +ell) $t i* at the right ti&e to allo+ the& to have their
o+n *2a,e) You *hould give the& a roo&) A *&all roo& i* enough /or
the&) .ive the& a /ull *et o/ 2er*onal belonging* they need) They +ill
be 2roud that the roo& belong* to the&) Let the& arrange everything
the +ay they +ant) .ive the& /ull re*2on*ibility /or that roo&) The 2arent*
+ill only ,o&e in to take a look and give *o&e advi,e on,e in a +hile)
0ake *ure they arrange< their thing* in orderly /a*hion) Train the& to
be thorough< e)g)< to lat,h on the hook every ti&e a +indo+ i* o2enedG
to lo,k the roo& +hen they go out) Thi* +ill train the& to learn to look
a/ter their o+n 2er*onal belonging*) Tell the& to learn ho+ to +a*h their
o+n< ,lothe*) ;or eFa&2le< on !aturday*< let the& +a*h and iron their
)86
,lothe*) DonCt do everything /or the& be,au*e it +ill +eaken the& by
doing that) !+ee2ing and &o22ing the /loor o/ the hou*e are not a lo+
,la** 1ob) Let the& try doing the&) $/ they do a good 1ob then give the& a
re+ard) $/ they did badly< give the& *o&e ,riti,i*&) Thi* i* a +ay to train
the ,hildren to be re*2on*ible /or the&*elve*) When they gro+ u2 they
+ill *urely be able to /end /or the&*elve*)
,lothe*) DonCt do everything /or the& be,au*e it +ill +eaken the& by
doing that) !+ee2ing and &o22ing the /loor o/ the hou*e are not a lo+
,la** 1ob) Let the& try doing the&) $/ they do a good 1ob then give the& a
re+ard) $/ they did badly< give the& *o&e ,riti,i*&) Thi* i* a +ay to train
the ,hildren to be re*2on*ible /or the&*elve*) When they gro+ u2 they
+ill *urely be able to /end /or the&*elve*)
thing
a,,ording to their ability) !o&e /a&ilie* have *o &any *ervant*)
The *ervant* do everything and the ,hildren donCt kno+ ho+ to do any
hou*e+ork) They gro+ u2 to be +eak) !o&e turn out< to be ,ri&inal*
be,au*e o/ &ental de/i,ien,ie*) !o&e ri,h 2eo2le do not bring u2 their
,hildren by the&*elve*) When the ,hildren gro+ u2< they *end the&
over to +ork /or other 2eo2leG to be in their< e&2loy&ent) Then they
+ill return to be a bo** later) To do that i* one +ay to train the& to hel2
the&*elve*)
"nly the ,hildren +ho ,an de2end on the&*elve* are an i&2ortant
re*our,e o/ our ,ountry and their o+n /a&ilie*) The +eakling*< the ,o+ardi,e<
+ho de2end on the other*< are like +eed*< +hi,h litter the +orld)
They are the one* +ho are burden*o&e to our ,ountry)
$n +hi,h ,ategory your ,hildren areJ Have you trained your l ,hildren
to *tand on their t+o leg*J $/ the an*+er i* no) Then< 2lea*e ,hange
your ta,ti,*) Do not de*troy your ,hildren) Be a good trainer /or your
,hildren to have an ability to live in thi* +orld)
Even though there i* no one to hel2 the&< they ,an *till hel2 the&*elve*)
Thi* i* +hat D"ne ha* to hel2 one *el/ E i* all about)
)89
Train Your Children to !tudy the Environ&ent
Train Your Children to !tudy the Environ&ent
$
$
N THE L$-E! o/ all *entient being*< a/ter they have been born they have
to /ight again*t all *ort* o/ adver*ity) A* *oon a* they ,a&e out o/ the
belly o/ their &other< they +ould *tart ,rying) Why did they ,ryJ They
+anted to announ,e to the +orld that their live* had not been a ha22y
one) They had been in*ide the body o/ their &other /or ten long &onth*
and they did not have to /a,e the out*ide +orld< +hi,h +a* al+ay* ,hanging)
No+ they had to ,o&e out and they did not like the *ituation out*ide
one bit) !o they ,ried out a* i/ they did not +ant to be born in thi*
+orld) But they had already been born) !o it i* the duty o/ the 2arent*
to *u22ort the& until they gro+ u2 and ,an &ake a living by the&*elve*)
The duty o/ the 2arent* to bring u2 their ,hildren i* a big re*2on*ibility)
$/ the 1ob i* done ,orre,tly< the ,hildren +ill be goodG i/ the 1ob i* done
+rongly< the ,hildren +ill be bad and the *in al*o /all* on the 2arent*) The
o//*2ring o/ a hu&an i* not the *a&e a* that o/ an ani&al) Ani&al* only
rai*e their o//*2ring 2hy*i,ally) They donCt have to be ,on,erned about
their &entality) But the ,hildren o/ hu&an* have both the body and the
*oul) To rai*e the& only 2hy*i,ally i* not enoughG the &ind &u*t be
taken ,are a* +ell) To rai*e the &ind &ean* to allo+ the ,hildren to
develo2 into +hole*o&ene** a* &entioned be/ore) $ a*k you to u*e the&
a* a guideline /or tea,hing your ,hildren)
"n,e your ,hildren are big enough to go to *,hool< it i* the duty o/
the 2arent* to regi*ter the na&e* o/ the ,hildren +ith the *,hool) At
2re*ent they have the kindergarten *e,tion o/ the *,hool) A /our%yearold
,an attend the *,hool) The &ethod* u*ed at a kindergarten are very
good) The ,hildren +ill develo2 2hy*i,ally and &entally) We *hould hel2
2ro&ote thi* kind o/ *,hool) But there are very /e+ o/ the& in Thailand<
&ay be not even in all 2rovin,e*) To *end the ,hildren to *,hool to learn
to read i* a dire,t duty o/ the 2arent* be,au*e edu,ation i* ne,e**ary
/or everybody) Unedu,ated ,hildren +ill be,o&e like +eed* *,attered all
over the +orld and in our ,ountry) Edu,ated ,hildren on the other hand
)8I
+ill be,o&e truly good ,itiBen o/ the ,ountry and that o/ the /a&ily) The
2arent* *hould not be negle,t/ul about thi* duty by &aking *ure to *end
all o/ your ,hildren to *,hool)
+ill be,o&e truly good ,itiBen o/ the ,ountry and that o/ the /a&ily) The
2arent* *hould not be negle,t/ul about thi* duty by &aking *ure to *end
all o/ your ,hildren to *,hool)
ing
a ,lo*e relation*hi2 +ith the *,hool) You &u*t al*o ,o&&uni,ate
,lo*ely +ith the tea,her* *o that both you and the tea,her +ould be able
to hel2 ea,h other in develo2ing +hole*o&e habit* in the ,hildren /or
the& to be,o&e good 2eo2le in the /uture) There are too &any 2arent*
+ho do not 2ay attention to the learning habit o/ their ,hildren) They
donCt 2ay enough attention to talking and a*king Hue*tion* about the
re*ult* o/ learning and behaviour o/ their ,hildren /ro& the tea,her* at
the *,hool) !o&eti&e* the tea,her* a*ked the& to ,o&e to a &eeting<
and they did not bother to ,o&e) When they donCt 2arti,i2ate in any
&eeting like that< it *ho+ed their la,k o/ re*2on*ibility) The guardian or
the 2arent* *hould 2ay a vi*it to the tea,her* on,e in a +hile to di*,u**
all &atter* ,on,erning their ,hildren) At lea*t on,e a &onth i* 2retty
good) The rea*on /or the vi*it i* to kno+ the re*ult* o/ their *tudy in,luding
their ,ondu,t at the *,hool) And the 2arent* ,an tell the tea,her* the
behaviour o/ the ,hildren at ho&e *o that the tea,her* ,an /ind a +ay to
i&2rove the *ituation i/ need be) The tea,her* *u2ervi*e the *tudent* at
the *,hool +hile at ho&e the 2arent* try to do the *a&e thing and very
,lo*ely *o) Thi* +ay the ,hildren +ill be +ell di*,i2lined) $ +ould like to
give thi* idea to all the 2arent* to think about it very thoroughly)
Every day be/ore the ,hildren go to *,hool< the 2arent* *hould look
at the& 1u*t a little bit to ob*erve the ,leanline** o/ their out/it and &ake
*ure that they ,o&2ly +ith the rule* and regulation*) You &u*t al*o tell
the& to dre** 2ro2erly and ,leanly) You *hould ,he,k the body 2art* o/
your ,hildren a* +ell< *u,h a*< the nail*< the teeth< and the *kin and in,luding
the hair) 0ake *ure they are orderly and ,lean) Che,k the book* and
the *tationery to *ee that they are all there and are in good< /un,tional
,ondition) Anything &i**ing< they &u*t be ,orre,ted or added to be /ully
o2erational) You &u*t advi*e your ,hildren to al+ay* kee2 their body and
their belonging* ni,e and ,lean) Tell the& that all thing* have their 2ri,e*)
Nothing i* /or /ree) They &u*t be 2ur,ha*ed) You &u*t train your ,hil
)85
dren to be *y*te&ati, in u*ing all the thing* that they have and to kee2
their belonging* in good +orking order at all ti&e*) $/ you *ee that they
&ight be doing the da&age to anything donCt let the in,ident 2a** you
by be,au*e doing that +ill be very har&/ul to the&) !o&e ,hildren go
to *,hool /ro& ho&e in really bad ,ondition) Their ,lothe* +ere a &e**)
Their body +a* dirty) They are a,tually a *ignboard adverti*ing the la,k
o/ intere*t o/ their 2arent*) Plea*e donCt let your ,hildren adverti*e your
*hort,o&ing any &ore) Pay &ore attention to the& 1u*t a little /or their
/uture and your o+n /a&ily)
dren to be *y*te&ati, in u*ing all the thing* that they have and to kee2
their belonging* in good +orking order at all ti&e*) $/ you *ee that they
&ight be doing the da&age to anything donCt let the in,ident 2a** you
by be,au*e doing that +ill be very har&/ul to the&) !o&e ,hildren go
to *,hool /ro& ho&e in really bad ,ondition) Their ,lothe* +ere a &e**)
Their body +a* dirty) They are a,tually a *ignboard adverti*ing the la,k
o/ intere*t o/ their 2arent*) Plea*e donCt let your ,hildren adverti*e your
*hort,o&ing any &ore) Pay &ore attention to the& 1u*t a little /or their
/uture and your o+n /a&ily)
"n non%*,hool day*< *u,h a* !aturday* and !unday*< you *hould
take your ,hildren out to *tudy the environ&ent /or a ,hange) $t +ill hel2
the& to have &ore general kno+ledge about the *urrounding ,ir,u&*tan,e*
*o they +ill under*tand *o&e o/ the thing* that are all around
u*) There i* *o &u,h to *ee in our ,ountry and all the thing* are intere*ting
in one +ay or another) They are the thing* that the ,hildren *hould
try to learn and they +ill &ake the ,hildren +i*er) Plea*e noti,e that the
,hildren /ro& u2%,ountry and tho*e /ro& Bangkok have di//erent kind
o/ kno+ledge about the thing* around the&) Their advan,e&ent in idea*
i* not the *a&e) The u2,ountry ,hildren donCt have &u,h to *ee be*ide*
natural o,,urren,e* and thing* *u,h a* ri,e /ield*< /ore*t*< and &ountain*
only) A* /or the ,hildren /ro& big ,itie*< they have *een all kind* o/
environ&ent* *o they are &ore kno+ledgeable than the ,hildren /ro&
)88
u2%,ountry but the ,hildren /ro& the ,ity are at a di*advantage regarding
enduran,e and toughne**) $n order /or the ,hildren to *ee thing* in
nature< they *hould be 2er&itted to *ee thing* they have not *een nor
under*tood be/ore) During va,ation ti&e< the big ,ity ,hildren *hould be
taken out o/ the ,ity /or a ,hange o/ *,enery) The tri2 +ould be /or /un)
They *hould go to the ri,e /ield* and the /ore*t*) $t +ould be better al*o
to get u2 to the &ountain* and do+n the ,reek*)
The 2arent* *hould go +ith the ,hildren on a tri2 like that) They +ill
be able to hel2 eF2lain about the thing they *ee) They +ill kno+ +hat
thing* are and ho+ u*e/ul they are to the live* o/ hu&an being* and al*o
+hat +e *hould do to treat the& right) Like /or in*tan,e +hen they *a+
a big /lo,k o/ bird* in the ri,e /ield< +e ,an tell the& that tho*e bird* hel2
the ri,e /ar&er* in variou* +ay*) ;or eFa&2le< birdC* dung in the ri,e
/ield* be,o&e /ertiliBer /or the ri,e *talk*G the bird* eat the +or&* and
,rab*< +hi,h de*troy the ri,e *talk* to &ake the ri,e gro+ big and beauti/ul)
The hu&an then eat* ri,e) !o +e *hould be thank/ul to the bird*) Do
not har& any bird*) You eF2lain to the ,hildren and they +ill en1oy li*tening
to you and to breathe in the /re*h air< to have obtained kno+ledge<
and to get the enduran,e and toughne** /ro& +alking) All thi* i* a 2ro/it
o/ living their live*) $t i* better than to go to a &ovie theatre< +hi,h i* ,luttered
+ith dirty *tu//) $/ +e take the ,hildren to *it under a big tree +ith
thi,k leave*< the body re,eived the ,oolne** /ro& it you *hould u*e the
o22ortunity to tea,h the& under the *hade o/ a tree by a*king the&< DAre
you hot +hen +alking outdoorJE The ,hildren +ould an*+er very hot)
DThen +hat ha22ened under the *hado+ o/ a treeJE The ,hildren +ould
o/ ,our*e *ay it i* ni,e and ,ool) You *hould go on *aying that the tree*
give *hado+ and ,oolne** to the +orld) $/ +e ,ut all the tree*< the +orld
+ill be,o&e too hot) There +ould be no +ater /or drinking and bathing)
We +ill never be able to live) The ,hildren +ill under*tand the value o/ a
tree< a /lo+er< +hi,h give* the& 1oy and 2lea*ure) $t i* natural /or hu&an
that i/ they kno+ +hat are u*e/ul to the&< they +ould love and 2re*erve
tho*e thing*) Tea,h your ,hildren to kno+ the u*e/ul thing* /or the& to
try to 2re*erve the& /or the /uture)
Be*ide* taking the ,hildren to the ri,e /ield< the /ore*t* and the &oun
)84
tain*< they *hould be taken to the 2ubli, 2ark* and the Boo* on *o&e o,,a*ion*
*o they +ill *ee *o&ething they have never *een be/ore) ;or eFa&2le<
there are *everal kind* o/ ani&al* at the Boo*) They are all lovely to
look at) The ,hildren *hould ab*olutely be taken there) Then you /ind a
+ay to &ake the& love the ani&al* and to 2re*erve the& /or /uture generation*)
Thi* i* one good thing that need* to be done)
$n big ,itie* in every ,ountry< they built *tatue* in order to re&ind
younger generation to re&e&ber the good deed* done by their an,e*tor*
and to hel2 &aintain the goodne** /or their ,hildren and grand ,hildren)
$t i* a good thing) $n $ndia< the great 0ahat&a .andhi +ho lived +ith
love and ,o&2a**ion to the +orld at large< +hen he died they took hi*
body to be ,re&ated at a 2la,e *o&e+here) Later on that 2la,e be,a&e
the ,entre o/ the heart* o/ $ndia) Every &orning and evening +e +ill *ee
the &other* +ith their ,hildren there) They taught the ,hildren to +or*hi2
and 2ay ho&age to the goodne** o/ 0ahat&a .andhi) Doing that
i* to 2ro&ote +hole*o&ene** in the &ind o/ the ,hildren) Thailand al*o
ha* *everal *tatue*) We *hould take our ,hildren to one o/ tho*e *tatue*)
EF2lain to the& that the 2er*on* +ho 2er/or& good deed* /or any ,ountry
*hould be i&&ortal) Their goodne** +ill re&ain /orever) The ,hildren
*hould re&e&ber and try to /ollo+ the eFa&2le and they +ill do
&ore good a* +ell) They +ill hel2 build our ,ountry and our nation in
the /uture) The ,hildren having *een and heard the *tory +ould be,o&e
2roud o/ their an,e*tor* and they +ill ,o&e u2 +ith an idea to do the
*a&e a* that great &an be,au*e eFa&2le i* al+ay* ,ontagiou*) "n the
,ontrary< the evil* +e *ee in all 2la,e* are the thing* +e *hould tea,h the&
to kno+ about a* +ell) "ur li/e +ill not be ,o&2lete i/ +e kno+ only
about the good *ide and do not kno+ about the bad *ide) They +ill not
be able to ,o&2ete +ith other 2eo2le be,au*e they think that thi* +orld
i* al+ay* 2ure and inno,ent)
The truth i* the +orld ha* t+o *ide*< the good and the rotten) To edu,ate
the ,hildren< +e &u*t tell the& +hat the evil* are< and the ill e//e,t
o/ tho*e evil*) We love our li/e) We *hould *tay /ar a+ay /ro& all evil*)
Children *hould not do any bad deed no &atter ho+ *&all it &ay *ee&)
But i/ they donCt kno+ +hat it i* they &ay do it) !o it i* the duty o/ the
)4:
2arent* to tell and to give the& *o&e advi,e) Whenever there i* a real li/e
le**on right in /ront o/ the ,hildren< tell the& right a+ay) ;or eFa&2le< +e
go and *it at a road*ide *helter) We +ill *ee that all over the 2la,e in,luding
the 2o*t* are all kind* o/ gra//iti dra+n by naughty hand*) Tell the&
that it +a* bad to do that be,au*e the *helter looked dirty) $t announ,ed
to the +orld that the one* +ho dre+ the& +ere ,arele** 2*y,ho2ath*)
.ood 2eo2le +ould never do that) Thi* i* one thing)
Another thing regarding the tree* they gro+ to &ake *hade* /or
,ooler environ&ent /or the 2eo2le +alking to and /ro&< *o&e bad 2eo2le
broke the bran,he* and 2lu,ked the leave* /or their o+n u*e) "r they u*e
a kni/e to ,ho2 on the trunk* to da&age the bark) Tho*e are de*tru,tive
a,t*) Every thing 2ubli, belong* to everybody) $t +ould be ni,e /or every
one to hel2 2rote,t the& to be in a *a/e and *e,ure ,ondition) Thai ,hildren
*till have de*tru,tive habit due to la,k o/ 2ro2er training in thi*
regard)
0ay $ beg you< all the 2arent*< +ho are re*2on*ible /or the +ell being
o/ your ,hildren to 2rovide the& +ith good edu,ation al+ay*G to guide
the& to+ard* +hole*o&ene**G to be the ear* and the eye* /or your ,hildren
regarding the evil and the danger lurking around the&) Do not
allo+ your ,hildren to be,o&e a vi,ti& o/ tho*e devil*) $t +a* *o di//i,ult
/or ea,h one o/ the& to be born a* a hu&an being) Rai*e the&G advi*e
the& to travel al+ay* the right +ay< the 2ro2er +ay) "2en the ear* and
the eye* o/ your ,hildren to re,eive only the thing* that build their habit
in a good +ay) Do not 1u*t kee2 your ,hildren in*ide your hou*e) Allo+
the& to ,o&e out to learn about thing* that *hould be learned and to
kno+ about)
The re*2on*ibility in their li/e i* *till in their hand*)
To give the& an edu,ation on nature and environ&ent are u*e/ul to
the ,hildren a* *tated above)
)4)
Ho+ to Prevent Children /ro& 0i**ing !,hool
Ho+ to Prevent Children /ro& 0i**ing !,hool
P
P
LEA!E C"NT$NUE L$!TEN$N. to thi* *tory about ,hildren) "ne day
+hile $ +a* *taying at Buddha*athan< +hen the library +a* o2ened<
$ +ent in to &ake *ure that everything +a* in good order) $t +a* about
):):: A)0) $ *a+ a boy in *tudent uni/or&) $ ,ould *ee ,learly the logo o/
hi* *,hool) $ +ondered +hy he +a* not in hi* ,la** at the *,hool) Why
+a* he here reading a &agaBineJ $ a22roa,hed hi& u*ing &y right hand
to tou,h hi* ba,k lightly +ith ,o&2a**ion)
$ a*ked hi&< DDonCt you go to *,hoolJE He did not re*2ond but he
lo+ered hi* /a,e al&o*t tou,hing the &agaBine) He *ee&ed to be un,ertain
about *o&ething) $ ,ould not hel2 being *u*2i,iou*) !o $ a*ked hi&
again +hether the *,hool +a* ,lo*ed and +a* that the rea*on he did not
go to *,hool) He *at *till and did not an*+er) $ /igured he &u*t be ab*ent
/ro& *,hool +ithout leave) !o $ talked to hi& in a lo+ voi,e< DYou *hould
go to *,hool) 0i**ing your ,la**e* like thi* i* not good) You +ill not be
able to ,at,h u2 +ith other *tudent* and you &ight /ail in your /inal
eFa&ination and you +ill be *orry) When you gro+ u2 you +ill have
trouble &aking a living) $ ended &y *hort le,ture +ith the +ord*< DPlea*e
go to *,hool)E He *at *till looking do+n) !o $ told hi& again< D$/ you do
not go to *,hool you ,annot ,o&e in here reading a book) $t i* ti&e to be
in your ,la**e*) $t i* not ti&e to read book*) !o he +ent out and le/t on
hi* bi,y,le)
Another ti&e< there +ere t+o &ale *tudent*) $t +a* during *,hool
hour* and they +ere *o /ar a+ay at !uan Buddhadha&&a) $ *a+ their
book* and *tu// in the ba,k o/ the t+o bi,y,le*) They +alked around and
ran into &e looking unea*y) $ ,alled /or hi& to ,o&e over) They did not
talk /reely) $ kne+ right a+ay they +ere &i**ing *,hool) But $ +anted to
learn +hat kind o/ tri,k* they had) $ a*ked the&< DWhy didnCt you go to
*,hoolJE They *aid< DThere +a* no ,la** today be,au*e the tea,her* had
to take the *tudent athlete* to 2ra,ti,e *o +e ,a&e here in*tead)E They
+ere tri,ky in trying to ,on,eal their identity) They u*ed a 2ie,e o/ 2a2er
)4=
to ,over the na&e o/ the *,hool and their identi/i,ation nu&ber) $ talked
to the& again) DWhat i* that 2ie,e o/ 2a2er you have in your 2o,ket) 0ay
$ *ee itJE They *aid it +a* 1u*t a 2ie,e o/ 2a2er) DPlea*e let &e *ee your
hand+riting)E They had to 2ull out the 2ie,e o/ 2a2er *o $ *a+ the *,hool
na&e and one o/ their nu&ber*) $ kne+ right then that they +ere lying
be,au*e one o/ &y boy* al*o +ent to the *a&e *,hool) !o $ told the& 1u*t
go ahead and have /un) But they +ere not /eeling good already *o they
*i&2ly *aid goodbye and le/t)
to ,over the na&e o/ the *,hool and their identi/i,ation nu&ber) $ talked
to the& again) DWhat i* that 2ie,e o/ 2a2er you have in your 2o,ket) 0ay
$ *ee itJE They *aid it +a* 1u*t a 2ie,e o/ 2a2er) DPlea*e let &e *ee your
hand+riting)E They had to 2ull out the 2ie,e o/ 2a2er *o $ *a+ the *,hool
na&e and one o/ their nu&ber*) $ kne+ right then that they +ere lying
be,au*e one o/ &y boy* al*o +ent to the *a&e *,hool) !o $ told the& 1u*t
go ahead and have /un) But they +ere not /eeling good already *o they
*i&2ly *aid goodbye and le/t)
,ate
+ith ea,h other right a+ay to kno+ the real rea*on +hy) Any ,hildren
+ho al+ay* &i**ed *,hool *hould have a *2e,ial notebook /or the
,la** tea,her to *ign everyday) $n the a/ternoon +hen they returned ho&e
the 2arent* *hould ,he,k the notebook a* +ell in order to kno+ +hether
their ,hildren had a,tually been to *,hool) $t i* a lot ea*ier in a big ,ity
+here tele2hone ,an be u*ed) $t i* one +ay to 2revent the ,hildren /ro&
,utting ,la**e* at *,hool)
Another /a,t about ,hildren i* they have a brain but they have no
thought) They donCt kno+ +hat i* right and +rongG +hat i* good and bad)
They have &e&ory and intere*t in *o&e *i&2le thing* +ith +hi,h they
have had eF2erien,ed) They donCt 2ay &u,h attention to di//i,ult *ub1e,t)
;or thi* rea*on they have a tenden,y to 1u*t go around having /un) $t i*
ea*y to 2lay) $t i* al*o ea*y to re&e&ber and it i* en1oyable) ThatC* +hy
they take 2lea*ure in 2laying and kee2 2laying all day) !o&eti&e* they
/orget to eat) To *tudy i* di//erentG it i* very *eriou*) They have to think)
They have to take note and to re&e&ber) $t i* a &atter o/ being ,on,entrated)
$/ they donCt have enough 2atien,e they +ill ea*ily Huit)
When $ +a* young and attending the third grade< $ had gone AW"L a*
+ell) Why did $ &i** *,hoolJ $t +a* be,au*e the *ub1e,t $ took +a* a lit
)4?
tle bit too di//i,ult) $ did not take a /inal eFa&ination in the *e,ond grade
be,au*e &y tea,her allo+ed &e to be in the third grade in the &iddle o/
the year *o $ had a little bit o/ a 2roble&) And the tea,her +a* a little bit
too /ier,e) He &ade u2 *o&e tough arith&eti, Hue*tion* and at the *a&e
ti&e he de,lared that +hoever &ade any &i*take* +ould be hit t+i,e on
the hand /or ea,h Hue*tion) Being hit t+o ti&e* by that tea,her hurt *o
&u,h) $ got bored o/ *tudying and *o $ did not go to *,hool) $ le/t ho&e
everyday +ith all the book* but $ did not go to *,hool) $ +ent to hide +ith
the ,attle boy*) $ did like that /or *even day* then $ got ,aught be,au*e
the tea,her +rote to &y 2arent*) They &ade &e ,o&e +ith the& to the
*,hool) The tea,her a*ked &e< DWhy did you &i** ,o&ing to *,hoolJE $
told hi& the truth that $ +a* a/raid o/ being hit by the tea,her *o $ ran
a+ay) The tea,her a*ked< DWhen you ran a+ay< +ere you not a/raid to be
hit +hen you returnedJE $ told hi& $ did not think $ +ould be returning
+ithout being ,aught like thi*) The tea,her +a* *y&2atheti, +ith
&e *o $ +a* never 2uni*hed again) But &y a,tual 2uni*h&ent +a* that
$ /ailed in the /inal eFa&ination and had to re2eat the third grade) Thi*
+a* the ill e//e,t o/ &i**ing *,hool) Plea*e do not &i** *,hool) And the
*y*te& o/ ,aning ,hildren i* too *evere a* +ell) $t i* boring to the ,hildren)
No+aday* +e donCt u*e that *y*te& any &ore) The tea,her ha* a
+ay to tea,h< to 2er*uade the ,hildren to have /un and en1oy learning
+ithout kno+ing) The ,hildren in the 2re*ent ti&e love to go to *,hool)
!o&eti&e* the &other did not +ant the& to go yet< they ,ry and they
*ay they +ant to go to *,hool) Why do they +ant to go to *,hoolJ They
do be,au*e there are &any /riend* at *,hool) The gra** la+n i* +ide) They
,an run &ore) $t i* a lot better than being at ho&e)
Neverthele**< there re&ain *o&e 2roble&* about &i**ing *,hool) $t
i* burden*o&e to the 2arent* and the tea,her*) $t &u*t be 2revented and
,orre,ted) Buddhi*& taught u* that DAll thing* ha22en /ro& ,au*e*) $/
+e +ant to *to2 the&< +e &u*t /ind their ,au*e*)
Then eli&inate the ,au*e*< the e//e,t* +ill be eli&inated a* +ell)E
We *hould *tudy the ,au*e* o/ thi* 2heno&enon) Con*ider the /ollo+ing
,au*e* to ,o&2are +ith that o/ your ,hildren +ho o/ten &i** *,hool
at the 2re*ent ti&e)
)46
Why Do Children 0i** !,hoolJ
Why Do Children 0i** !,hoolJ
)
Children &i** *,hool be,au*e they have 2oor original /oundation)
;or eFa&2le< they +ere /or,ed to learn abru2tly) There +a* no
/riendly 2er*ua*ion /or the ,hildren to +ant to learn) The 2arent*
have to /ind a +ay to arou*e the& to love the learning 2eriod) ;ind
a *,hool +ith good tea,her* +ho ,an really tea,h their 2u2il*)
=)
The 2la,e o/ learning i* not good) ;or eFa&2le< there are too &any
rule* and regulation*G there are &any boy* +ho bully *&aller ,hildrenG
the tea,her* are +eek a,ade&i,ally and ad&ini*tratively)
There are al*o too &any bad eFa&2le*) The only +ay i* to &ove
the ,hildren to another *,hool)
?)
The ,hildren are +eak in ,at,hing u2 +ith other 2u2il*) They /eel
e&barra**ed o/ their ,la**&ate*) The 2arent* need to give eFtra
tutoring at ho&e or they ,ould hire a *2e,ial tutor)
6)
The *ub1e,t* taught are not *uitable to the age* o/ the ,hildren) The
,hildren have to do the thinking too &u,h) They are bored o/ having
to learn) ;or eFa&2le< the arith&eti, 2roble&* are too di//i,ult
/or the ,hildren in that age grou2G they get bored o/ having to
*tudy the&) They have an in/eriority ,o&2leF in their &ind) They
&ay run a+ay /ro& *,hool) When *o&ething like thi* ha22ened<
the ,hildren *hould be &oved to another *,hool +here tea,hing i*
done &ore a22ro2riately /or the ,hildren in that level)
9)
The ,hildren a**o,iate +ith &i*,hievou* 2u2il*) Tho*e /riend* 2er*uaded
the& to go to a &ovie or to 2lay in the +ater near the +har/)
They 1u*t +anted to have *o&e /un) The 2arent* have to intervene
by &aking *ure that they under*tand the har&/ul e//e,t* o/ doing
*o&ething like that) You &ay have to 2ut the& on 2robation in
,a*e they do that again the neFt ti&e)
I)
They +ere hurt by the a,tion o/ the 2arent*) ;or eFa&2le< the
a&ount o/ the 2o,ket &oney re,eived +a* too *&all or none at allG
the dre**e* ,ould not be ,o&2ared +ith tho*e o/ their /ello+ *tudent*
and they /elt hurt ea*ily by that) !o&eti&e* the 2arent* +ere
)49
2re1udi,ed) They did not love their ,hildren the *a&e +ay /or every
one o/ the&) They did not give the ,hildren the *a&e a&ount o/
&oney) $/ the *a&e attention +a* not given then there &ight be
/eeling* o/ unea*ine**) The 2arent* &u*t try to ,orre,t the *ituation)
$/ you +ere 2oor< donCt 2ut your ,hildren a&ong the ri,h) The
,hildren do not kno+ the di//eren,e bet+een being 2oor and being
ri,h) They think only +e are +or*e o// than they are) $t ,reated a
negative ,o&2leF and they &ay &i** ,o&ing to *,hool) $t i* better
to *end the& to the *,hool< +hi,h *uit their ba,kground)
5)
The ,hildren are in 2oor health or *i,kly) They *hould get *o&e re*t
to i&2rove their health) Then they ,an return to *,hool later on)
8)
They are handi,a22ed in ,ertain 2art* o/ the body) ;or eFa&2le<
,rooked ar&< ,ro**ed eye*< de/or&ed leg< et,) Thi* ,an be ,orre,ted
by telling the& that 2art* o/ a body are not that i&2ortant) What
i&2ortant i* the kno+ledge and a good &ind) You *hould give an
eFa&2le o/ *o&e /a&ou* handi,a22ed 2eo2le to tell the ,hildren
ho+ good and ho+ *&art they +ere)
4)
A +eakling or *o&eti&e* ,alled Da *i**yE) Thi* ,ondition +a* ,au*ed
by the +rong u2 bringing /ro& the beginning) We ,an ,orre,t by
telling the& to 2lay &ore *2ort* in order to 2ro&ote *tronger +ill
2o+er) $/ you invite their /riend* to your hou*e< it &ay hel2 &aking
braver)
):)
Being +ay+ard and laBy /ro& very young age) Thi* ty2e ,annot be
trained< ,annot be taught) The &onk* ,all tho*e 2eo2le ur Ai n Vtiti
i >hard to be trained and taught@)
)))
0i**ing *,hool due to having done *o&ething +rong or ,o&&itting
an unla+/ul a,t< +hi,h +a* again*t the rule* and regulation*
o/ the *,hool) They +ere a/raid o/ being 2uni*hed *o they 1u*t ran
a+ay) $n ,a*e like thi* the tea,her* and the 2arent* have to +ork
together to ,orre,t the *ituation in a gentle +ay u*ing love and
,o&2a**ion to ,hange their habit*)
)4I
)=)
Thi* kind o/ ,hara,ter i* not *uitable /or taking a,ade&i, *ub1e,t*
but they 2re/er doing handi+ork and being a ,ra/t*&an or
to be,o&e a boFer) You *hould arrange /or the& to have training
in that 2arti,ular area* they like) They &ight turn out to be out*tanding
in that area) Thi* i* very i&2ortant) Whatever they +ant
to learn< the 2arent* *hould allo+ the& to de,ide /or the&*elve*)
Do not /or,e the& to do in ,ontrary to their a2titude) D$t i* hard
to learn to do +hat you donCt like doing)E
All the ,au*e* /or &i**ing *,hool &entioned above *hould be u*ed a* a
guideline /or the 2arent* to ,on*ider and *ear,h /or the /la+* o/ the ,hildren<
+ho love to &i** *,hool) $/ you /ound out *u,h /la+* and the rea*on
+a* that o/ the ,hildren the&*elve*< or that o/ the 2arent* and the
tea,her*< and /or +hat rea*on) Due to the /a,t that the ,au*e o/ the 2roble&
&ay be the ,hildren< or the 2arent* and the tea,her*< or even the
2la,e +here they go to *,hool< all 2artie* &u*t try to *olve the 2roble&
a* *oon a* 2o**ible) Do not think that it +a* a *&all &atter) The /uture
o/ the ,hildren de2end* on the 2arent* and the tea,her*) $/ you donCt 2ay
enough attention to the&< the *&all &atter &ay turn out to be a &a1or
one) To *to2 the /ire be/ore a *tor& ,o&e* i* a *&art &ove) Ho+ your
,hildren +alk< ho+ they do thing*< *hould be under your *,rutiny all
the ti&e) When you *ee that *o&ething +a* +rong ,oun*el the& right
a+ay)
$n giving advi,e /or any i&2rove&ent you *hould ,on*ider 2ro2er
ti&e and 2ro2er 2la,e) Any ti&e you *hould hit hard< i/ you +ere too
*o/t< it i* not going to good) To be too hard i* not good either) $t de2end*
a lot on the *ituation and the ,hara,ter o/ your ,hildren) !o&e ,hildren
love gentlene**) $/ you *,olded the& too &u,h they ,ould not do
anything right) DonCt *,are the& too &u,h) .ive the& rea*on* *o they
+ould under*tand) "r a*k the& to get *o&e an*+er*) You *hould al*o
talk together +hen you are in a ha22y &ood) That i* +hen the 2arent*
are ha22yG the ,hildren are ha22y) Both the tea,her* and the *tudent* are
ha22y then there +ill be /riend*hi2 bet+een the& and ,an really a22re,iate
the thing* they talk about) A/ter they have taught and they have
)45
learned you *hould &ake a ,he,k on,e in a +hile to /ollo+ u2 the re*ult*
o/ tho*e talk*)
The 2arent* &u*t be intelligent enough to talk to your ,hildren) You
have to tea,h the& and to try al+ay* to ,o&e to a ,orre,t under*tanding)
Then you +ill /eel ,o&/ortable and have a +ar& /eeling to *ee your ,hildren
behave in a ni,e +ay< +hi,h +ill bring 2ea,e and ha22ine** to you
at all ti&e*) $ +ould like to a*k all o/ you to kee2 thi* i&2ortant &atter
in &ind)
)48
Tea,h Your Children to be Hu&ble
Tea,h Your Children to be Hu&ble
$
$
N THE 0angala !utta< +hi,h the &onk* ,hant in a hou*e%+ar&ing religiou*
,ere&ony at ho&e< one o/ the &an gala &entioned in the ,hanting
i* n b a a $t* tran*lation i* DTo be re*2e,t/ul and not being ,o,ky i*
a ble**ing)E Thi* tea,hing i* intended /or all Buddhi*t* to re*2e,t one
another be,au*e re*2e,t one another +ill give ri*e to having a regard /or
one another< and to tru*t one another) Any grou2 o/ 2eo2le +ho have
tru*t in one another +ill be *trong and *e,ure) When the &onk* ,hant
a ble**ing or in the northern Thai diale,t ,alled D&orWa)E they +ill &ention
the /our au*2i,iou* thing*< na&ely< long li/e< ,lear ,o&2leFion< good
2hy*i,al and &ental health< and *trength to /ight again*t *i,kne** and
di*ea*e*) All tho*e +ould ha22en /ro& being hu&ble a* a +ay o/ li/e) To
be hu&ble to tho*e +e *hould be hu&ble i* the right thing to do /or tho*e
+i*hing to 2ro*2er) Anybody< +ho ,an nor&ally do like that in /a,t< ha*
a 2ro*2erou* li/e)
A,,ording to a Thai ,u*to& /ro& the an,ient ti&e to the 2re*ent
ti&e< the 2arent* tea,h their ,hildren to al+ay* be hu&ble) That i* +hy
the &anner o/ the Thai* i* 2lea*ing and there i* hardly anybody +ho
doe* not +ant to be a**o,iated +ith the&) They ,an go any+here and
,onveniently *o) But no+aday* &o*t o/ u* are &odern 2eo2le) We tend
to ,o2y the We*terner*) Whatever +e do +e think the +e*tern *tyle i*
good) A* a &atter o/ /a,t< the +e*tern ,on,e2t* are not good in every
+ay) But they have been doing that /or a long ti&e< it i* hard to ,hange<
e*2e,ially in regard to their /a&ily li/e) They 2ay a little bit too &u,h
attention to eHuality) The ,hildren and their 2arent* live together like
/riend* &ore than anything el*e) They have /un together +ithout regard
/or being re*2e,t/ul) The ,hildren &ay u*e their hand to tou,h the head
o/ the /ather and the &other and the latter are not o//ended) Whatever
the 2arent* do /or the ,hildren it +ould be done in the na&e o/ duty<
+hi,h &u*t be 2er/or&ed)
When the ,hildren ,annot hel2 the&*elve*< the 2arent* are the 2il
)44
lar* /or the ,hildren) When the ,hildren ,an hel2 the&*elve*< they +ill
+ork /or their o+n living) The 2arent* +ill live on their o+n) They have
hardly anybody to take ,are o/ the&) !o&e 2arent* +ere le/t on their
o+n and +ere /or,ed by the ,ir,u&*tan,e to live in a ho&e /or *enior ,itiBen
2rovided by the govern&ent /or that 2ur2o*e and they donCt have
very &u,h in the +ay o/ a**i*tan,e and looking a/ter the elderly 2er*on*)
There i* little re*2e,t /or the elderly) That i* +hy there are an enor&ou*
nu&ber o/ lonely old 2eo2le) Thi* i* the We*terner *y*te&) The &anner
o/ the We*terner i* &ore bravado than being gentle to the &ore *enior
2eo2le) The ,hildren ,an ,o&e ,lo*e to the 2arent* and *tand above their
head 1u*t like that) When they +alk 2a*t the 2arent* they never have to
lo+er their body in any +ay) The &anner* like that are ,on*idered by the
Thai* to be a little too rough and not likable)
The oriental on the other hand ha* been trained to be re*2e,t/ul
to the /ather< the &other< the brother* and *i*ter*< and to be that
+ay a,,ording to *eniority) We donCt ,all *enior and 1unior /or nothing
be,au*e +e are not all eHual in *tatu*) $t i* like our /ive /inger*) They
do not have the *a&e *iBe) The thu&b i* bigger than the other /inger*
and it i* ,on*idered the leader< the nu&ber one o/ the grou2) NeFt to
the thu&b< the /inger* get *&aller and *&aller< to the *&alle*t< +hi,h i*
the little /inger) Di//erent *iBe* o/ the /inger* tea,h u* that our live* are
not eHualG *o&e are big< *o&e are *&all) $n our /a&ily the /ather i* big)
He i* the head o/ the /a&ilyG he i* re*2on*ible in all the a//air* +hile the
&other i* hi* hel2er) !he i* the &other o/ the hou*ehold< +ho look* a/ter
all the a//air* o/ the ho&e to &ake *ure that they 2ro,eed in an orderly
&anner) The &other &u*t li*ten to the /ather a* +ell) !o&e hou*ehold*
have t+o old 2eo2le living +ithinG one /e&ale and one &ale) They are
the grand &other* and the grand /ather* o/ the ,hildren de2ending on
the *ituation o/ the /a&ily) The 2arent* re*2e,ted both *enior 2eo2le and
the ,hildren re*2e,ted the&) They are like the high 2rie*t* o/ the /a&ily)
Then about the ,hildren< +hoever i* the /ir*t born or the olde*t *ibling<
he or *he +ill be re*2e,ted &ore or le** a,,ording to +ho +a* born
/ir*t or la*t) Thi* i* the *y*te& o/ a Thai /a&ily) $/ +e ob*erve thi* *y*te&
*tri,tly and to do it the right +ay< there +ill be no di*unity in the /a&ily
=::
and they +ill be *table and /ir&ly e*tabli*hed) $/ +e take a look at *o&e
/a&ilie*< +hen the 2arent* have 2a**ed a+ay< the ,hildren donCt *ee eye
to eye) They try to o22o*e one another in variou* +ay* in order to be a*
big a 2art o/ the inheritan,e a* 2o**ible) The re*ult in*tead +ould be to
divide the a&ount to other 2eo2le a* +ell) Thi* +a* be,au*e they donCt
li*ten to one another and did not allo+ anyone to be bigger) What ha22ened
+a* a,tually the /ault o/ the 2arent*) $t +a* not that o/ any one
el*e) $/ you +ant to *ee your /a&ily /ir&ly e*tabli*hed< then you &u*t try
to avoid doing anything< +hi,h +ill &ake your ,hildren be,o&e di*re*2e,t/ul
o/ one another)
$ +a* told that the Aa2ane*e ,on*idered all Aa2ane*e are brother*) The
e&2eror i* the head o/ the /a&ily< the heart and *oul o/ the +hole ,ountry
o/ Aa2an) The Aa2ane*e re*2e,t their e&2eror un*+ervingly) Hi* +ord* are
ab*olutely inviolable) They are a very di*,i2lined nation) !oldier* or non,o&&i**ioned
o//i,er* +ho ,o&&it any +rongdoing +ill be 2uni*hed
*everely) They re*2e,t and obey ea,h other) When they go to +ar< they
do it +holeheartedly) When they lo*t< they lo*t totally) $t i* like an old
*aying< DBrave a* a lion< but gentle a* a la&b)E To be able to do like that i*
the re*ult o/ the training in the /a&ily) The Aa2ane*e /a&ily re*2e,t* one
another a,,ording to their level* at all ti&e*) The &other +ill be the one
+ho 2ut the /ood in ea,h 2late /or all &e&ber* in her /a&ily) !he +ould
give the /ir*t one to the head o/ the hou*ehold< then to her*el/ and the
/ir*t born and the neFt) The younge*t ,hild +ill be the one to re,eive the
la*t every ti&e) Doing that ,reate* re*2e,t a,,ording to *eniority) When
the /ather 2a**ed a+ay< the &other +ould take over) Every one &u*t li*ten
to her) When the &other 2a**ed a+ay< the /ir*t born +ould be,o&e
the leader) Every one +ill have to li*ten to the big brother or *i*ter) The
*ituation in the /a&ily i* +ell under ,ontrol) There i* no *2lit a&ong
the&) ;a&ou* Aa2ane*e ,or2oration* have been in eFi*ten,e /or al&o*t a
,entury) They are *till here be,au*e o/ the re*2e,t in the /a&ily) !o it i*
a good eFa&2le /or all the 2arent* to think about and to u*e thi* *y*te&
in their /a&ilie*)
$n the Buddhi*t 2rin,i2le< the Buddha +arned hi* di*,i2le* to re*2e,t
ea,h other a,,ording to the nu&ber o/ year*) The &onk +ho +a* ordained
=:)
/ir*t +ould be a big brother +hile the &onk +ho +a* ordained a/ter+ard*
+ill be a younger brother) Entering the Buddhi*t lent< the &onk* +ill a*k
/or an a2ology a,,ording to the *eniority to *ho+ their re*2e,t bet+een
ea,h other) !eniority i* ,on*idered all the ti&e in all a*2e,t o/ being in the
&onkhood eF,e2t /or one thing< i)e)< to go to the toilet) At *u,h ti&e no
*eniority i* under ,on*ideration but they u*e /ir*t ,o&e /ir*t *erve *y*te&)
;or the re*t o/ the a//air*< e)g)< going out o/ the te&2le< or in the te&2le< in
order to re,eive the al&* /ro& &erit giver*< they all do it a,,ording to *eniority)
And it i* really a beauti/ul tradition) $n the A2arihaniyadha&&a
!utta the Buddha *aid< DThe Bhikkhu &u*t re*2e,t the *enior &onk
+ho i* the leader< the ,hie/ &onk) $/ every &onk re*2e,t* one another
like that our grou2 o/ +ill *tand /orever)E The &onk* in Buddhi*& have
*tood &ore than t+o thou*and /ive hundred year* be,au*e they ob*erve
the guideline ,on,erning re*2e,t to the elder*)
$n regard to the 2ra,ti,e in our /a&ily< +e have to think about +hat
+e *hould do be,au*e< a* &entioned be/ore< it i* ne,e**ary to ,ultivate
the habit in the ,hildren /or the& to have love and re*2e,t a&ong one
another) We *hould advi*e the ,hildren to re,ogniBe at +hat level they
are +hen they relate to one another< e)g)< to give the 2ortion to the older
*ibling* be/ore the younger one*) Tell the& to under*tand that the older
one* are &ore *enior and they have given a**i*tan,e to the younger one*
*o they have the right* to re,eive anything be/ore the younger one*) At
any ti&e +hen the older one* give *o&e advi,e to the younger one* and
they re*i*t< the 2arent* *hould intervene by telling the& that their +ord*
are al+ay* to be li*tened to be,au*e the older one* have &ore kno+ledge)
They al*o are re*2on*ible /or the +ell being o/ the younger one* a* +ell)
To tea,h the ,hildren to under*tand the &eaning in thi* +ay hel2 the&
to re*2e,t the &ore *enior one*) $n /a,t< it i* ea*y to tea,h the /a&ilie*
u2 ,ountry be,au*e the elder one* have to look a/ter the young one* all
the ti&e) Any ti&e the 2arent* have other +ork to do< the *ibling* +ill
hel2 one another) When +e talk about gratitude< the ,hildren ,an *ee the
2i,ture right a+ay) But in a big /a&ily< they have nannie* and baby *itter*)
The ,hildren are ,lo*er to the nanny than to their o+n big brother
or big *i*ter) $n thi* *ituation the ,hildren do not *ee the i&2ortan,e o/
=:=
the older one*) !o the 2arent* have to eF2lain to the& not only to tea,h
the younger one* to re*2e,t the older one*< but they &u*t al*o tea,h the
older one* to be ,on*iderate to the younger one* and to li*ten to +hat
they have to *ay) $/ they donCt li*ten to one another< there +ill be no *y&2athy
a&ong the&) There +ill be no love) The /a&ily &ay *2lit a2art
be,au*e o/ that)
Whenever the /ather ha* an o22ortunity to talk to the ,hildren to
a22re,iate the a,tion o/ other 2eo2le on the&< he &u*t do that 2ro&2tly)
;or eFa&2le< i/ the ,hildren /all do+n and *o&e one ,a&e to hel2 the&
*tand u2< to hel2 the& relieve the 2ain< introdu,e the ,hildren to that
2er*on) Tell the& to 2ay hi& or her re*2e,t 2ro2erly to *ho+ their
gratitude)
Be*ide* tea,hing the ,hildren to re*2e,t one another< you *hould
tea,h the& to kno+ about the /a&ily tree) Tell the& +ho are the grand
2arent*< the aunt* and the un,le*) They are *enior relative* o/ the ,hildren)
They &u*t al+ay* obey the&) They &u*t honour the& +henever
they ,o&e to *ee u*< or +e go to *ee the&) $t i* to train the ,hildren to
under*tand that +e live our live* a&ong our relative*) The *hado+* o/ all
our relative* +ill give a ni,e and ,ool *hade) Additionally you &u*t tea,h
the ,hildren that +e do not live alone and only one /a&ily< but +e live a*
a nation) A nation i* the gathering o/ the 2eo2le +ho *2eak the *a&e language
and +ho have the *a&e ,u*to&* and tradition*) The 2eo2le +ho
,a&e together a* a nation +ill live in a ,ountry) The ,ountry ha* a leader
o/ the +hole ,ountry and that leader i* our king) He i* the Bodh tree o/
the 2eo2le) He give* the 2eo2le 2ea,e and *e,urity) We the 2eo2le &u*t
re*2e,t hi& every day and every night) We &u*t ob*erve the la+ and the
order o/ the authority) Be,au*e the o//i,ial* +ork in the na&e o/ the king<
to *ho+ re*2e,t to the authority i* the *a&e a* to re*2e,t the king) Tho*e
+ho re*2e,t *enior 2eo2le are good 2eo2le)
Tea,h your ,hildren to be hu&ble to tho*e they *hould be hu&ble<
*u,h a*< the 2arent*< the tea,her*< and the &onk*< +ho &aintain and
u2hold religion) You &u*t &ake the& under*tand the rea*on +hy they
have to do that and +hat +ill ha22en i/ they donCt) When the ,hildren
under*tand and kno+ ho+ they are related to tho*e 2er*on*< they +ill
=:?
,oo2erate and the re*2e,t +ill o,,ur) A* /or the adult*< +hen the ,hildren
*ho+ their re*2e,t< donCt a,t indi//erent) Pay attention to the& and
a,kno+ledge their re*2e,t) .ive the& ble**ing to &ake the& /eel good
o/ +hat they have 1u*t done)
To 2ro&ote unity a&ong every brother and *i*ter< there *hould be
a get%together 2arty on ,ertain o,,a*ion*< *u,h a* the Ne+ Year< and
the an,e*torC* day) The 2arty +ill allo+ the ,hildren to ,o&e and 2lay
together) They +ill learn to *y&2athiBe +ith one another tightening the
relation*hi2 a&ong the 2eo2le in the *a&e eFtended /a&ily) Thi* +ill
hel2 the ,hildren to develo2 &entally in a 2o*itive +ay a* +ell)
Whatever the training o/ the ,hildren +ill be< the eFa&2le i* the
&o*t i&2ortant) The 2arent* are eFa&2le* /or the ,hildren) Be a good
eFa&2le o/ your ,hildren at all ti&e*) Whatever you +ant to tea,h your
,hildren< you your*el/ have to be an eFa&2le in a 2o*itive +ay) $t +ill be a
good i&2re**ion on the &ind o/ the ,hildren /or a* long a* they live) Thi*
i* another thing $ +ant you to re&e&ber)
=:6
.ive Children a Chan,e to EF2re** Their Ability *o They ,an
be Proud o/ The&*elve*) Do Not U*e an Ab*olute !y*te&
+ith the Children
.ive Children a Chan,e to EF2re** Their Ability *o They ,an
be Proud o/ The&*elve*) Do Not U*e an Ab*olute !y*te&
+ith the Children
P
P
LEA!E L$!TEN to thi* u*e/ul *ub1e,t) !everal year* ago< $ kne+ thi*
/a&ily) $t +a* a +ell%to%do /a&ily be,au*e the head o/ the hou*ehold
took hi* +ork very *eriou*ly) He kne+ ho+ to +ork hi* +ay u2 and to
*ettle do+n) The 2eo2le /ro& the out*ide looking in +ould think that
every one in thi* /a&ily lived ha22ily) But the /a,t +a* not *o) Why notJ
Plea*e li*ten ,are/ully)
$ a& going to tell you about the /ather /ir*t) He +orked hard and +a*
very di*,i2lined) He al+ay* intended to do everything +ell but he +a*
ea*ily u2*et) He +ould be &ad a* hell all the ti&e) $/ *o&e one did *o&ething<
+hi,h irritated hi& he +ould be,o&e very e&otional) !o&eti&e*
he +ould beat hi* 2eo2le or u*e very *trong language) The +i/e< on the
other hand< +a* Huiet and a little *lo+ but her +ork +a* good and neat)
!he did not *ay &u,h and did her 1ob in the rear o/ the hou*e all the
ti&e) Due to the /a,t that *he +a* *lo+< her a,tion +a* al+ay* too *lo+
/or the hu*band< +ho +a* Hui,k in everything) Whatever *he did or *aid
i/ it +ere a &i*take in the eye* o/ the hu*band< he +ould al+ay* *,old her
*trongly) But the +i/e +a* 2atient and tolerantG *he never argued +ith
hi& *o the hu*band +a* al+ay* the /ire burning hi* o+n *el/) The *ituation
in the /a&ily +a* not that *&ooth but bearable) They had *everal
,hildren both &ale* and /e&ale*) When they +ere *till young< they did
not have any idea* about the behaviour o/ their /ather *o they re*2e,ted
hi&) But a/ter they had gro+n u2 and *u//i,iently edu,ated they had
their o+n thought* and idea*) They /elt a great deal o/ *y&2athy /or their
&other< +ho +a* o/ten inti&idated by their /ather) The *ituation in the
/a&ily got +or*e be,au*e there +ere *everal 2eo2le +ho *ee&ed to violate
hi* order*) The /ather re&ained hi* o+n *el/ in doing everything the
+ay he +anted) He never ,hanged but *ee&ed to get even &ore violent)
=:9
The di*agree&ent in the /a&ily *ee&ed to inten*i/y) The /ather be,a&e
very annoyed but he never tried to /ind out the ,au*e o/ the annoyan,e)
He al+ay* thought it +a* the /ault o/ other 2eo2le) He never realiBed it
+a* hi* /ault) !o he never thought about doing anything to i&2rove or
&odi/y hi* behaviour)
The di*agree&ent in the /a&ily *ee&ed to inten*i/y) The /ather be,a&e
very annoyed but he never tried to /ind out the ,au*e o/ the annoyan,e)
He al+ay* thought it +a* the /ault o/ other 2eo2le) He never realiBed it
+a* hi* /ault) !o he never thought about doing anything to i&2rove or
&odi/y hi* behaviour)
lating
hi* order and he +ould *,old the& again and again) Thi* +a* really
a di,tator*hi2 in a /a&ily) $t +a* a bad *y*te&< +hi,h i/ ever eFi*ted in
any /a&ily< there +ould al+ay* be trouble) Any order< +hi,h i* too *tri,t<
+ill ,reate di*order) Peo2le need to have a +ay to vent their /eeling*) $/
the /eeling* are ke2t under +ra2 too &u,h it +ill eF2lode /or *ure one
day) That i* +hy +e need to relaF a little *o&eti&e*) $n general< hu&an
being* have their o+n thought* and idea*) Do not ever think< D$ kno+
everythingE and other 2eo2le donCt kno+ anything be,au*e every one ha*
a brain and idea*) DonCt believe only in your o+n o2inion) You *hould
re*2e,t their o2inion a* +ell) Thi* +ill hel2 your ,hildren to learn to
u*e their brain 2o+er and to develo2 the&*elve* in the /uture) To /or,e
the& to do everything really +ill blo,k the gro+th o/ their brain) When
the 2arent* 2a**ed a+ay< the ,hildren +ill be,o&e +eak and ,annot hel2
the&*elve*) $t i* ,on*idered a big &i*take) $ +ould like to +arn tho*e +ho
like to u*e di,tator*hi2 in their /a&ily to think about thi* ,are/ully and
try to i&2rove the&*elve* by allo+ing their +i/e and their ,hildren to
have their o2inion *o&eti&e*)
$ &et a grou2 o/ 2eo2le) They lived in a big grou2 and they ,on*idered
ea,h individual a unit o/ the 2eo2le in that grou2 +ith eHual re*2on*ibility)
Every one had a duty to +ork together +ithout being told or /or,ed
to do the +ork) They taught every one to kno+ hi* or her duty) Whoever
+a* good at anything +ould do that 1ob +ithout being re&inded) $ *a+
the& +ork very hard and very +ell) The +ork +a* 2rogre**ing very +ell
too) !o&e o/ tho*e 2eo2le +ere ,hildren o/ the ri,h and /a&ou* and
=:I
*o&e +ere the ,hildren o/ labourer* but they honoured one another all
the ti&e) "n,e they +ere 2lanning to ,on*tru,t a big auditoriu& and
they de,ided to hold a &eeting to talk about it) When they *tarted the
&eeting they *at and &editate /or a +hile to ,on,entrate their thought
2ro,e**) Anybody< +ho had any idea*< +ould think out and +rite do+n
the idea* in their notebook) Then they +ould tell one another) The idea*
+ould be dige*ted and brought to good u*e) Even though tho*e idea*
&ight have ,o&e /ro& tho*e +ith lo+ edu,ation< they +ere al*o ,on*idered
and even a,,e2ted) Their +ork +a* ,arried out +ith *u,,e**) Thi* i*
really the right +ay)
$t i* the *a&e /or our /a&ily) $/ our ,hildren have *o&e kno+ledge
about *o&ething< train the& to learn to think about doing the&) You
+ill al*o have a ,han,e to kno+ about the brain 2o+er o/ your ,hildrenG
ho+ &u,h ea,h o/ the& kno+ about anything and ho+ good they are
and in +hat +ay) You +ill be giving the& an o22ortunity to *ho+ o//
their ability) They +ill be 2roud o/ the&*elve* and it +ill &ake the&
+ant to do &ore +ork in the /uture) The /ather +ill a,t only to &ould
the thought 2ro,e** o/ the ,hildren to be /or&ed 2ro2erly) Do not a,,u*e
your ,hildren a* being unintelligent) $t i* ,o&&on /or a ne+ly born not to
kno+ +hole lot* &aybe eF,e2t to eat< to *lee2< and to have a bo+el &ove&ent)
We are adult* but in the 2a*t +e +ere like that too) Learn to /orgive
your ,hildren) When they *2oke +rongly or did *o&ething +rong
tell the& 2ro&2tly to do that in the ,orre,t +ay *o they ,an re&e&ber)
To do that i* another +ay to *u22ort the 2rogre** o/ the ,hildren) "n
the other hand< to /or,e or to tell *o&e one to do thi* and that i* a *y*te&
+hi,h *hould have been aboli*hed in thi* day and age be,au*e even
our ,ountry i* under a de&o,rati, govern&ent< &eaning the 2eo2le are
the 2o+er* that be)
The +ord* Dthe 2eo2le are the 2o+er* that beE &ean to re*2e,t the
idea* o/ one another) Whatever +e do< the &a1ority ,ount* and not only
one 2er*on *hould 2u*h hi* or her idea through by one*el/ *tubbornly)
The de&o,rati, govern&ent +ill not have a *trong /oundation i/ +e have
not trained our ,hildren to have their o+n idea* in *o&ething *in,e ,hildhood)
And at the *a&e ti&e they have to learn to re*2e,t other 2eo2leC*
=:5
idea*) $ +ould like to beg you to hel2 ,reate a ,orre,t *y*te& in the &ind
o/ the ,hildren /ro& a young age)
"ne &ore thing< to do thing* like $ &entioned be/ore +ill al*o ,reate
a good *y*te&ati, di*,i2line in the /a&ily) A good order +ill 2revail due
to u* being ,on*iderate and hel2/ul to one another and not /ro& being
*,ared *o &u,h) ;ear +ill 2revent anybody /ro& being ,lo*e to *o&ebody)
But to have re*2e,t +ill enable hi& or her to get along +ith one another
2ro2erly) $ a*k you to 2lea*e re&e&ber and to do the be*t you ,an a* &entioned
here) Thi* +ay your /a&ily +ill have a *olid /oundation even a/ter
you have le/t thi* +orld)
What are the rea*on* /or the 2arent* to u*e their 2o+er to /or,e the
,hildren to do thing* like thatJ A* a &atter o/ /a,t< the 2arent* naturally
have good intention /or the ,hildren) But it +a* too *trong) They
did not think o/ the Dha&&a 2rin,i2le< +hi,h *aid< DTrue loving kindne**
,o&e* /ro& the heart< +hi,h i* 2ure) $/ the &ind i* *ad< the loving
kindne** i* al*o *ad)E We +ant the P ,hildren to re*2e,t u*) We &u*t give
love to the ,hildren in a +ay that &ake* the& ha22y) $/ the love /ro& u*
&ake* the ,hildren *ad< they &ay think that the 2arent* do not love the&)
Thi* &ay give ri*e to the& being 2ulled a+ay /ro& the right 2ath) There
+ere *o &any eFa&2le*) Try a*king the ,hildren loitering in /ront o/ a
&ovie theatre< you +ill /ind that they ,a&e /ro& the /a&ilie* +hi,h u*ed
*,olding +ord* regularly and never u*ed the kind +ord*) When the ,hildren
did *o&ething +rong they ke2t *,olding the& until they ,ould not
eat nor *lee2) That &ethod i* not good at all) The authority i* i&2ortant
too) But do not u*e it too o/ten be,au*e authority o/ten u*ed +ill have
negative e//e,t later on) To *,old in order to /or,e 2eo2le to do *o&ething
+a* /or the !tone Age &en) No+aday* +e u*e rea*on* to 2er*uade the
,hildren to under*tand +hat i* right and +hat i* +rong) Nor&ally the
,hildren do not like to &ake &i*take*) But they did the& be,au*e they
did not kno+) The 2arent* &u*t try to +arn the& and to re&ind the&
all the ti&e to &ake *ure that they really have under*tood)
When $ +a* young< +e u*ed a book ,alled a Thai Nui,k 0ethod
Reader) There +a* a *tory in the book about a ,ou2le o/ elderly /ar&er*<
+ho u*ed an oF to 2ull their ,art) The old oF died *o they got another oF)
=:8
The ne+ oF never +alked +ith a 2lough be/ore *o he did not kno+ ho+
to +alk 2ro2erly) The old &an got &ad) He *,olded the oF *aying +hat
a *tu2id oF< a *tubborn oF) Then he be,a&e angrier and hit the oF *o
&any ti&e* that the oF ran a+ay and broke the 2lough) He +a* /uriou*
and tied the oF to a 2o*t under the *trong *un light +ithout giving /ood
or +ater to the oF thinking it +ould be an a22ro2riate 2uni*h&ent) But
the old +i/e thought other+i*e) !he thought that to do like that +a* not
right) !he told hi& *o +hen the old &an +a* in a better &ood) !he *aid<
The ne+ oF never +alked +ith a 2lough be/ore *o he did not kno+ ho+
to +alk 2ro2erly) The old &an got &ad) He *,olded the oF *aying +hat
a *tu2id oF< a *tubborn oF) Then he be,a&e angrier and hit the oF *o
&any ti&e* that the oF ran a+ay and broke the 2lough) He +a* /uriou*
and tied the oF to a 2o*t under the *trong *un light +ithout giving /ood
or +ater to the oF thinking it +ould be an a22ro2riate 2uni*h&ent) But
the old +i/e thought other+i*e) !he thought that to do like that +a* not
right) !he told hi& *o +hen the old &an +a* in a better &ood) !he *aid<
ier
and &ore ,onveniently *o to train the&) Plea*e try to train the& then
one day your ,hildren +ill be,o&e really good 2eo2le) You +ill be ha22y
in the +hole*o&ene** o/ your ,hildren< +ho< be,au*e o/ you< have ,o&e
to thi* rough and tu&ble +orld)
There i* another 2oint< +hi,h i* very i&2ortant) The ,hildren are /orget/ul
in &o*t o/ the thing* they en,ounter) The tea,her o/ the ,hildren
&u*t have a ,ool head) Do not +ant too &u,h /or the ,hildren to be like
+hat you have taught) $/ your de*ire i* too *trong it &ay involve /or,e) To
/or,e *o&e one to do *o&ething &ay be bad) ;or thi* rea*on you &u*t
realiBe that it i* nor&al /or the ,hildren to need *o&e one +ho +ill be
a guide to kee2 telling the&< and re&inding the&< all the ti&e) "n,e
&ay not be enough) Re&ind the& all the ti&e until they be,o&e good
or until they ,an 2rote,t the&*elve* *a/ely) !o the 2arent* &u*t al+ay*
have a ,ool head and be 2atient in telling and tea,hing the&) You &u*t
u*e rea*oning to tea,h the&) You talk to the& u*ing the +ord*< +hi,h
are ea*y to a,,e2t *o they +ill under*tand the true &eaning) A/ter having
taught the&< you have to /ollo+ u2 to *ee i/ they +ill do +rong again)
=:4
$/ they do< then you &u*t +arn the& again) $t i* both ,orre,tive and 2reventive
de2ending on the *ituation)
To 2revent i* to do like thi*< e)g)< i/ +e a*ked the& to go *o&e 2la,e<
or to do *o&ething< and you kno+ that the ,hildren &ay &ake a &i*take
in doing +hat you a*ked the& to do) $n order to 2revent a &i*take
/ro& o,,urring< you &u*t tell the& ho+ to do it and &ake the& under*tand<
and at the *a&e ti&e< tell the& to be ,are/ul doing it) Let the&
kno+ that i/ *o&ething +ent +rong< it +ould ,au*e da&age and ho+
&u,h) And they +ould be 2uni*hed in +hat +ay) 0ake the& under*tand
,learly) They +ill 2ay attention to their ta*k by the&*elve*) Nor&ally
2eo2le love ha22ine** and hate *u//ering) $/ they kno+ that +hat a,tion
+ill ,reate *u//ering they +ill avoid doing it eF,e2t in ,a*e o/ the thing*
beyond their ,ontrol) The 2arent* &u*t eF2lain to the ,hildren /or the&
to under*tand ,learly) DonCt even think that the ,hildren already kno+
by the&*elve*) To kno+ *o&ething need* other 2eo2le to tea,h the&
/ir*t) Ho+ ,an they kno+ by the&*elve* right a+ayJ The 2arent* o/ the
,hildren &u*t think ahead that their ,hildren do not kno+ *o they +ill
have to eF2lain until they under*tand *o that the 2arent* +ill not have
to be involved in other trouble* in the /uture) The ,hildren +ill al*o have
re,eived *o&ething in their brain) To train the ,hildren little by little i*
a good &ethod)
0ay $ a*k all o/ you to 2lea*e think about thi* ,are/ully and tea,h
your ,hildren by your tongue and donCt tea,h the& by a ,ane and a *trong
ar&) That i* a di,tator*hi2 *y*te&< +hi,h +ill bring *u//ering later on)
=):
Ho&e i* !,hool
Ho&e i* !,hool
T
T
HE BUDDHA taught u* that D0other and /ather are the /ir*t tea,her*
o/ their ,hildren)E Why donCt +e take a look and *ee i/ both o/ the&
are really in that 2o*itionJ Who gave the &o*t to the ,hildrenJ Who*e
&anneri*&* are like their* &ore than tho*e o/ anybody el*eJ Who*e +ay*
+ith +ord* are like their* &ore than tho*e o/ anybody el*eJ The an*+er
i* that o/ the /ather and the &other< +ho el*eJ Any ,hildren +ho +ere
,lo*e to the /ather &ore than to the &other< they +ould love the /ather
&ore than the &other and +ould a**i&ilate &o*t o/ the &anneri*& o/
their /ather) $/ they +ere ,lo*e to the &other< they +ould love the &other
&ore than the /ather and they +ould a**i&ilate that o/ the &other +ith
out intending to do *o) The 2arent* have be,o&e the tea,her* o/ their
,hildren) To be in that 2o*ition +ithout any intention &ay be har&/ul<
be,au*e the one* +ho +ere a,ting a* the tea,her* did not even kno+ that
they +ere the tea,her o/ their ,hildren) They &ay do *o&ething i&2ro2
erly +ithout realiBing their role and that behaviour ha* be,o&e eFa&
2le /or their ,hildren to /ollo+) !o $ +ould like to re&ind all the 2arent*
that you are the tea,her* o/ your ,hildren long be/ore any other tea,h
er*) When you are the tea,her* you &u*t be a+are o/ your re*2on*ibility)
The a,tivitie* in your daily li/e +ill al+ay* be tran*/erred to your ,hildren
and a**i&ilated by the&)
0oreover< *2eaking in ter& o/ duty< the 2arent* have total re*2on
*ibility to edu,ate their ,hildren by /orbidding the& /ro& ,o&&itting
*in/ul a,t*< by in*i*ting that they believe /ir&ly in doing good deed*< and
by giving the& good edu,ation in a,,ordan,e +ith the *tatu* o/ the /a&
ily) The*e are the ba*i, /oundation to develo2 the ,hildren both 2hy*
i,ally and &entally) The ho&e o/ the ,hildren i* there/ore in it*el/ a
*,hool) $t i* the *,hool< +hi,h never ,lo*e* but it o2en* all the ti&e) The
tea,her* al*o tea,h all the ti&e and the 2u2il* learn all the ti&e too) But
the tea,hing and the learning are done in,identally +ithout any *2e,i/i,
intention even though the e//e,t* are over+hel&ingG &u,h &ore *o than
=))
the in*tru,tion* in the ,la**roo&) The /oundation o/ the li/e o/ the ,hildren
de2end* on the li/e in their ho&e) When +e look at the ,hildren
and *ee their behaviour*< +e +ill be able to *ee through the live* in that
/a&ily al&o*t right a+ay) !o it i* eFtre&ely ne,e**ary /or the 2arent*
to i&2rove the ,ondition in the ho&e< the area *urrounding the hou*e
2ro2er< the 2eo2le in the hou*e in,luding the 2arent*< +ho are the head*
o/ the hou*ehold< to be a good eFa&2le to the ,hildren) EFa&2le* are
al+ay* Hui,kly ,ontagiou*< both good and bad)
The leader or the head o/ the hou*ehold &u*t al+ay* be on guard %and
to be ,are/ul in bringing anybody into hi* ho&e) ;or eFa&2le< you had
a /riend but hi* ,ondu,t +a* bad) He loved to kee2 ,o&2any +ith ga&bler*
and drunkard*< et,)< *o you &u*t try to 2revent hi& /ro& ,o&ing to
your hou*e) $/ by a,,ident he ha22ened to ,o&e by< you &u*t eF2lain to
the ,hildren *o they under*tand that to be like that +a* not right and the
,hildren *hould re,ogniBe hi& a* a bad eFa&2le) Tell your ,hildren not
to have that kind o/ ,ondu,t) The *ervant* in the hou*e &ay al*o be,o&e
tea,her* o/ your ,hildren) You &u*t be ,are/ul not to allo+ the& to *ho+
your ,hildren any un+hole*o&e behaviour* or *2ee,he*) You *hould try
your very be*t to arrange your ho&e to have the *a&e at&o*2here a* that
o/ the *,hool< +hi,h i* *u22o*ed to be an eFa&2le o/ the 2u2il* be,au*e<
a* &entioned be/ore< the ho&e i* al*o the *,hool)
When your ,hildren are old enough to enter a *,hool< you *hould
take the& to the *,hool /or an a22li,ation) The *,hool *hould be *uitable
to your ,hildren) 0any 2arent*< a/ter having *urrendered the ,hildren to
the *,hool< they thought that it +a* no+ u2 to the tea,her and they did
not have anything to do +ith the ,hildren any &ore) $n /a,t< even though<
the tea,her* tea,h the ,hildren at *,hool but they *tayed +ith the tea,her*
only /or a /e+ hour* be/ore returning ho&e) $/ the 2eo2le at ho&e
/orget their duty< they /orget that they are the /ir*t tea,her* o/ their ,hildrenG
they /orget that the ho&e i* al*o the *,hool< the bad e//e,t +ill be
on the ,hildren) ;or in*tan,e< the kno+ledge o/ your little boy &ay be
+eakened be,au*e nor&ally ,hildren love to have /un) They love to do
ea*y thing*) They donCt like to do di//i,ult 1ob*) Thi* i* the ,hara,ter o/
the ,hildren in general)
=)=
!o $ +ould like to re&ind all 2arent* not to /orget your 1ob) Your 1ob
in bringing u2 the ,hildren i* not /ini*hed) You &u*t ,ontinue doing it
until you *to2 breathing)
!o $ +ould like to re&ind all 2arent* not to /orget your 1ob) Your 1ob
in bringing u2 the ,hildren i* not /ini*hed) You &u*t ,ontinue doing it
until you *to2 breathing)
2li*h
thi* /eat< it i* a +ay to hel2 the ,hildren to have a bright /uture and
to be able to hel2 the /a&ily in a u*e/ul +ay) Re&e&ber that the /uture o/
the ,hildren de2end* on +hat i* going on in your ho&e) !o it i* your duty
to &ake an arrange&ent to i&2rove the hou*e< and the 2eo2le< in,luding
the environ&ent to be in good order and ni,e at all ti&e*)
What *hould you do /or your ,hildrenJ When they returned /ro&
*,hool< you *hould a*k the&< 2er*uade the&< to talk about the re*ult* o/
+hat they have learned) ;or eFa&2le< *&aller ,hildren *hould be a*ked
+hether they +ere able to +rite any al2habet*) A*k the& to *ho+ you
ho+ to +rite *o&e +ord*) $/ the ,hildren +ere able to do it< you *hould
,o&2li&ent the&) .ive the& *o&e re+ard* a* an in,entive to in,rea*e
their +ill 2o+er to learn) A*k the& everyday *o they are 2roud that they
have re,eived ne+ kno+ledge all the ti&e) ;or the bigger ,hildren< +ho
have ho&e+ork< you &u*t 2er*uade the& to /ini*h their a**ign&ent
be/ore allo+ing the& to *o *o&ething el*e) You &u*t al+ay* *u2ervi*e
and look a/ter the&) $/ you kno+ your ,hildren are +eak in any *ub1e,t
you &u*t try to hel2 the&) $n a**i*ting the ,hildren you &u*t hel2 the&
to think on their o+n and not by doing everything /or the& be,au*e it
&ay ,au*e the ,hildren to be,o&e even +eaker) The 2arent* &u*t be ,are/ul
about thi* a* +ell) !o&e le**on* &u*t be &e&oriBed< /or eFa&2le< the
&ulti2li,ation table) A/ter dinner they get *o&e re*t) While doing *o< the
2arent* *hould talk to ea,h other about u*e/ul to2i,* to give an o22ortunity
/or the ,hildren to li*ten to it) They ,an *it and ob*erve the +ay the
2arent* ,onver*e bet+een the t+o o/ the&) $t i* a +ay to train the& and
at the *a&e ti&e it give* the& *o&e kno+ledge) "n *o&e o,,a*ion*< the
,hildren +ill tell their 2arent* +hat took 2la,e in their a,tivitie*< e)g)< *u22o*e
the tea,her* took the& out *o&e+here) When they ,a&e ba,k they
=)?
,ould ,he,k their /eeling* and &e&ory) A*k the& to relate the event*
that they had *een) Tell the& to talk /reely and a* the really /eel) The 2arent*
+ill only try to /ill in *o&e o/ the o&itted 2art*) $/ there +ere *everal
,hildren< try urging the& to argue and to an*+er Hue*tion* a&ong
one another to te*t their verbal *kill* and to learn to be brave /or a rea*onable
2eriod o/ ti&e) Then tell the& to read *o&e book* a* reHuired in
their *tudie*) Thi* &ethod +ill hel2 the& to develo2 in another +ay) To
2ay attention in dire,ting and 2ointing the +ay to the ,hildren *hould
be done all the ti&e by the 2arent*) $/ it +a* done regularly a* &entioned
be/ore< the ,hildren +ill not be +eak in the *ub1e,t* they *tudy) !o it*
*u,,e** &o*tly de2end* on the 2arent*)
$n 2er*uading and 2ointing the +ay /or the ,hildren to take an intere*t
in learning< i/ ne,e**ary you *hould u*e in,entive*) ;or eFa&2le< u*e
a &ovie a* an in,entive by telling the& D$/ you ,an *olve all o/ the arith&eti,
2roble&* ,orre,tly< $ +ill take you to a &ovie thi* !aturday)E $/ the
,hildren +ant to go they +ould *tudy very hard) D$/ you get 59 2er,ent in
your /inal eFa&ination*< $ +ill take you on a va,ation to a *ea*ide re*ort)E
"r you &ay tell the& that i/ they *tudy Engli*h and are good at it< and
you ,an &e&oriBe a lot o/ vo,abularie*< you +ill be able to *2eak Engli*h
/luently) When you gro+ u2 you &ay +in a *,holar*hi2 and you +ill be
able to /urther your edu,ation abroad) You +ill *ee *ky*,ra2er*G beauti/ul
+ater /all*< 1u*t like in the &ovie*) They +ill like the idea and +ill be
enthu*ia*ti, about learning their le**on*) When they are able to get e*2e,ially
good grade*< do not /orget to ,o&2li&ent the& and to give the&
*o&e re+ard* *o they ,an be 2roud that their 2arent* love the& and give
the re+ard* /or their goodne**) They +ill try even harder in the /uture
in their *tudie*) The en,ourage&ent o/ the 2arent* i* a 2o+er/ul in,entive
/or the ,hildren) Plea*e do not negle,t to do that)
"ne &ore thing you need to under*tand in training your ,hildren<
i)e)< do not &ake thing* hard /or the ,hildren by &aking the& /un a* +ell
and /or the& to re,eive le**on* about li/e at the *a&e ti&e +ithout the&
even realiBing it) Do not /or,e the& to do anything be,au*e ,hildren are
not *oldier*< +ho a/ter &eal*< +ill be told to go to the auditoriu& /or a
training *e**ion) The training i* *o inten*e that &o*t *oldier* /all a*lee2)
=)6
That kind o/ training i* o/ little value to the ,hildren) We *hould tea,h
the& like +e are having a ,onver*ation +ith the&< +hi,h +ill be en1oyable
to the& a* +ell) Thi* i* another good +ay to hel2 the ,hildren)
$/ you have an o22ortunity to in1e,t any idea* or o2inion* into the
,hildrenC* brain< do not /ail to do *o) Tell the& al+ay* +hether the *tory
i* good or bad) Your tea,hing and 2rea,hing *hould be done +henever
it i* 2o**ible to do *o) Even the Buddha did the 2rea,hing and tea,hing
to hi* di*,i2le*) Every ti&e +hen *o&ething ha22ened< he +ould tea,h
the& and 2rea,h the& again and 2ro&2tly *o) $/ you ,an do it< it +ill be
o/ great value to your /a&ily) Your ho&e +ill be,o&e a very good *,hool
and at the *a&e ti&e you +ill be,o&e a very good tea,her)
There i* another 2roble& +hi,h +e &u*t hel2 *olving it< i)e)< in a**i*ting
the *,hool* in your lo,ality) The *,hool belong* to all o/ you) You
re,eive u*e/ul thing* /ro& the *,hool by *ending your ,hildren to learn
to be,o&e intelligent 2er*on +ho ,an +ork +ell /or the ,o&&unity) The
lo,al *,hool*< the &uni,i2al *,hool* and the govern&ent *,hool* are the
*a&e a* the te&2le*< +hi,h give kno+ledge to the 2eo2le in general) $n
the old day*< all kind* o/ *,hool* +ere in the te&2le*) The &onk* +ere
the tea,her* *o the villager* or lo,al 2eo2le gave the& a hel2ing hand)
They ,on*idered the deed* to be &eritoriou* a,t*) $n /a,t they +ere both
&eritoriou* and u*e/ul) Neverthele**< the *,hool *till need* to re,eive
hel2 /ro& the general 2ubli,) $ +ould like to a*k you to hel2 the *,hool
in any +ay you ,an) To hel2 the *,hool i* the *a&e a* to hel2 your*el/
and to hel2 your ,hildren to be ,o&/ortable and ha22y) $t i* &erit &aking
+hi,h i* e//e,tive right a+ay) There are &any +ay* to hel2< e)g)< ,on*tru,tion
o/ *,hool building*< re2air and &aintenan,e o/ *,hool /a,ilitie*<
and arrange&ent /or *u22lie* o/ e**ential edu,ational &aterial* the
*,hool need* in variou* ,la**e*G 2rovi*ion o/ toy* and the 2layground /or
the ,hildren /or the& to have 2hy*i,al eFer,i*e on a22ro2riate o,,a*ion*)
The*e are hel2*< +hi,h are u*e/ul to the *,hool)
All the a/ore&entioned a**i*tan,e i* 1u*t eFternal hel2) To do it internally
and needle** to *ay< *everal ti&e* &ore e//e,tive< i* by ,oo2erating
+ith the tea,her* at the *,hool in 2er*uading your ,hildren to be,o&e
good 2er*on*) "ur nation +ant*< a* &entioned be/ore< real a**i*tan,e) $/
=)9
+e let the tea,her* do everything aloneG it i* going to be di//i,ult /or the&
to develo2 our ,hildren) $ +ould like to a*k you< +ho love your ,hildren<
to hel2 the tea,her* at the *,hoolG to *,ul2t the ,hildren to be a* good
a* you had +i*hed the& to be a* your goal) The tea,her* at the *,hool
and the tea,her* at ,o&e *hould &eet ea,h other on,e in +hile to di*,u**
the i**ue* that need to be re*olved) Thi* i* in a *2irit o/ true ,oo2eration)
$n thi* +ay our ,hildren +ill never have any e*,a2e route to turn
to un+hole*o&ene**)
0ay $ a*k you< the 2arent*< +ho love and +i*h your ,hildren +ell< to
look at your*elve* and your ,hildrenJ Look at the re*ult* o/ the edu,ation
they are re,eiving) Look at the *,hool +here your ,hildren attend) $/
there are anything that you ,an hel2< you ,an i&2rove< do not delay your
a,tion) Plea*e do +hatever you ,an 2ro&2tly) You +ill have not ,au*e to
be *orry later on)
=)I
Children M their Dre**
Children M their Dre**
T
T
H$! "CT"BER 9TH +a* al*o the /ir*t 0onday o/ the &onth) $t +a* o//i
,ially de*ignated the $nternational ChildrenC* Day) Every organiBation
,on,erning ,hildren had *o&e *ort o/ ,elebration on the ChildrenC* Day)
$n order /or the ,hildren to en1oy the&*elve* a* they like< Buddha*athan
+a* al*o a ,entre o/ the ,o&&unity +here the ,hildren ,a&e /or a &eet
ing) !o&e o/ the ,hildren +ere led by the tea,her*< *o&e by the 2arent*)
$t *ee&ed to &e all the ,hildren +ere in good *2irit and they did en1oy
the&*elve* in all the a,tivitie*) $ +a* there at Buddha*athan and had a
,han,e to talk to the audien,e a little) $ re&inded the& to realiBe al+ay*
that they +ere going to the adult* o/ the /uture) To be adult*< they have
to hel2 the&*elve*) They &u*t earn their living /or the&*elve* and /or
their /a&ily) The adventure in thi* +orld in the /uture that lie* ahead i*
*o great and it i* going to Huite di//i,ult) Every one ha* to be 2re2ared to
be a good 2er*on)
;or the ,hildren to be ,on*idered good 2er*on< they &u*t 2o**e**
three attribute*'
)) To have good kno+ledge)
=) To have an ability to u*e that kno+ledge +ell)
?) To have good ,ondu,t)
The*e three attribute* are like in*uran,e /or a 2er*on to live *e,urely and
to 2rogre** in hi* or her li/e) $ al*o re&inded the ,hildren to be &ode*t<
to re*2e,t the tea,hing o/ the 2arent* and the tea,her* be,au*e they
+ere *till young to thi* +orld and they needed to have adult* a* tea,her*
in their live*) The ,hildren &u*t /ollo+ the leader* in order to be *a/e a*
they +i*h /or) $ only talked to the& a little be,au*e $ *a+ that they had
li*tened to the letter /ro& the Pri&e 0ini*ter /or a long ti&e and in that
letter there +ere already *everal intere*ting to2i,*) $/ the ,hildren ,ould
re&e&ber and abide by the&< they +ould *urely 2ro*2er in their live*)
A/ter the &eeting in the auditoriu& they 2araded around and near the
=)5
,o&2ound o/ Buddha*athan) Then they returned to 2arti,i2ate in the
*2ort* event* a&ong *,hool*) They *ee&ed to have a lot o/ /un and they
2layed the ga&e* in orderly &anner*) There +a* no /i*t /ight or ro+dine**)
$ looked at the& and ,ould not hel2 /eeling good about tho*e ,hildren
and $ +anted to be on,e again a ,hild) But ho+ ,ould it ha22en like
thatJ Childhood ha* 2a**ed &e by and the only +ay to go /or &e i* do+n+ard)
Eventually &y li/e +ill end) Birth and death< it i* nor&al) You and
$< +e are in the *a&e boat)
Late that &orning there +ere &any 2arent* and their ,hildren) $ +a*
intere*ted in the ,hildren *o $ +ent around looking /or little ,hildren) $
/ound one +ho +a* a girl) !he ,a&e +ith her &other) !he +a* about I or
5 year* old but the +ay *he dre**ed +a* 2e,uliar< i)e)< *he +a* in a &akeu2
like an adult +ith very red li2*) Both ,heek* +ere reddi*h and her hair
+a* ,ut +ith t+o ribbon* on it) The /ingernail* and toenail* +ere 2ainted
red al*o) The *kirt *he +a* +earing +a* *hort and *tit,hed together in *everal
layer*) $ looked at her and *aid to &y*el/< a little overdre**ed) $ looked
at the &other) !he had &ore &ake%u2 than her daughter and &u,h &ore
overdre**ed) !o $ ,a&e to a ,on,lu*ion that the &other +a* the one +ho
dre**ed u2 her daughter *o &u,h that *he looked terrible) $t gave &e an
idea that $ *hould talk about thi* a little) "n that day $ tea*ed the &other<
DWo+< you dre**ed her u2 *o beauti/ully)E The &other *&iled ha22ily)
Every one love* /lattering +ord*) No one like* ,riti,al +ord*) But /latter
ing +ord* ,an be a 2oi*on too)
Little ,hildren are by nature ,ute and lovely to look at) Whoever *ee*
the ,hildren ,annot hel2 but to love the& and +ant* to give the& a hug)
Children are ,har&ing in the&*elve* +ithout any &ake%u2) Too &u,h
&ake%u2 &ake* the& look &ore a+/ul than beauti/ul) 0o*t 2arent* do
not think about thi* /a,t) They 2ut 2aint* all over on the li2* and the
,heek* o/ their ,hildren) They donCt look ni,e at all) The &other*< +ho
love to dre** u2< dre** the&*elve* and tend to /orget) They dre** u2 the
little girl* a* +ell) !o they look *o &e**y) Doing that i* &ore de*tru,tive
to the ,hildren than being ,on*tru,tive) !o $ +ould like to +arn all the
&other* to allo+ the ,hildren to look ni,e naturally) DonCt &ake the&
look ni,e by a &ake%u2) Be,au*e the &ore the &ake%u2< the &ore they
=)8
look like a ;ren,h doll and not hu&an being) Let your ,hildren be their
o+n *elve*) $t i* better not to de*troy their true identity) The ,hildren
+ho dre** 2lainly look lovely) Tho*e +ho dre** boldly donCt look ni,e at
all) The 2arent* *hould be a+are o/ that)
look like a ;ren,h doll and not hu&an being) Let your ,hildren be their
o+n *elve*) $t i* better not to de*troy their true identity) The ,hildren
+ho dre** 2lainly look lovely) Tho*e +ho dre** boldly donCt look ni,e at
all) The 2arent* *hould be a+are o/ that)
))
$t +ill &ake your ,hildren 2ay too &u,h attention to adorning
the&*elve*) When they gro+ u2 they +ill be,o&e intoFi,ated +ith
the i&age* o/ the&*elve* by *eeing that beauty due to &ake%u2 i*
i&2ortant) They +ill only attire the&*elve* 2hy*i,ally and never
+ant to ,on*ider the groo&ing o/ their &ind) The ,hildren +ill be
too 2roud o/ their 2hy*i,al attribute*) They +ill be /a*,inated by
their body and look do+n u2on the other*< +ho do not dre** u2
like the&) $t i* one +ay /or the& to be,o&e *2oiled)
=)
$t i* needle**ly a ,ultivation o/ eFtravagant habit in the ,hildren
be,au*e all the*e 2hy*i,al de,oration* +ere &o*tly i&2orted ite&*
/ro& over*ea*) $t i* not a22ro2riate /or u* to train our ,hildren to
be,o&e luFuriou* in none**ential good*) To do that +a* an en,ourage&ent
/or the ,hildren to *2end &ore) $t i* har&/ul in another +ay)
?)
$t i* al*o nor&al /or hu&an being* that the &ore they dre** the
&ore the de/ile&ent in their &ind) Beauty i* a ,au*e o/ Chanda
Raga >loving 2a**ion@< +hi,h i* a /ire burning one*el/) You donCt
need to *ti&ulate thi* 2a**ion *o &u,h that it +ill be over a,tive) $t
i* better to allo+ nature to take it* ,our*e gradually) Thi* day and
age ,hildren be,o&e young adult* too *oon be,au*e +e *ee& to
*ti&ulate the& to gro+ *o /a*t) $ +ant you to think about thi* 1u*t
a little *o you ,an /ind *o&e +ay to 2revent it /ro& ha22ening)
"rder and di*,i2line are e**ential and i&2ortant in develo2ing our ,ountry)
Be*ide* the &ake%u2 o/ the /a,e a* &entioned be/ore< ,are &u*t be
taken in ,hoo*ing the dre**e* /or the ,hildren) At 2re*ent our 2eo2le
*ee& to be +earing *trange looking out/it* in variou* *ha2e* and /or&*)
$t i* a +ay to +a*te &oney needle**ly) But /or the adult*< $ a& not going
=)4
to *ay anything to hurt your /eeling*) But $ +ould like to a*k you to think
o/ the /uture o/ our ,ountry /or 1u*t a little bit) Plea*e hel2 rai*e the Thai
,hildren 2ro2erly and ,orre,tly) !kirt* and blou*e* o/ the ,hildren *hould
be o/ *i&2le de*ign*< ea*y to 2ut on and ,o&/ortably *o) A* you kno+<
to *ay anything to hurt your /eeling*) But $ +ould like to a*k you to think
o/ the /uture o/ our ,ountry /or 1u*t a little bit) Plea*e hel2 rai*e the Thai
,hildren 2ro2erly and ,orre,tly) !kirt* and blou*e* o/ the ,hildren *hould
be o/ *i&2le de*ign*< ea*y to 2ut on and ,o&/ortably *o) A* you kno+<
ent*
*hould +arn their ,hildren not to *ho+ o// their 2o+er/ul i&2ul*e
*o &u,h be,au*e it +ill ,au*e trouble *ooner than they think) Even the
,olour o/ the dre**e* *hould be tho*e +hi,h are neutral and ,ool to the
eye*) They are a lot better than tho*e annoying ,olour are) The ,olour i*
very i&2ortant in ,reating e&otion* in the audien,e) But our ,hildren are
not &ovie *tar*) There i* no need to u*e loud ,olour to da&age the eye*ight)
"ne &ore thing< the &ore ,olour the &ore the &oney to be *2ent)
When there i* no &oney then the /uture i* big trouble) !o you have to
be ,are/ul a* +ell)
Be*ide* the ,lothing< there i* other de,orative 1e+ellery< +hi,h i* not
at all e**ential to the ,hildren *o they *hould not be bought to de,orate
the& at all) The 2arent* +ho u*ed their hard%earned &oney to buy
bra,elet*< ne,kla,e*< or other de,oration*< +hi,h are valuable ite&* to
adorn their ,hildren< *hould think t+i,e +hether they are the ne,e**itie*)
$/ they think long and hard they +ill realiBe that they are not at
all) Without tho*e 1e+ellery< the ,hildren ,an *till live ,o&/ortably) But
+hy do they have the&J The de*ire to be beauti/ul o/ten ,au*e* trouble
to one *el/) Tho*e gold orna&ent* are a lot o/ te&2tation /or a lot o/
==:
2eo2le e*2e,ially the thieve* +ho al+ay* +ant to *teal the&) $ heard that
a little boy +ith t+o baht o/ gold ne,kla,e +a* &i**ing) They +ent looking
/or hi& and /ound hi* body in a 2ond &inu* the ne,kla,e) Thi* i* a
danger re*ulting /ro& adorning the boyC* body +ith the thing* too valuable
/or hi&) The da&age did take a li/e be,au*e the 2arent* la,ked an
under*tanding o/ the thing* they *hould have under*tood) All the 2arent*
2lea*e re&e&ber that the &oney< the gold and the 1e+ellery are not
,o&2atible +ith the ,hildren) Do not de,orate the& +ith tho*e thing*)
Plea*e re/rain /ro& doing it in every /a&ily and every one) Do not even
have it on you to ,au*e any danger to your*el/) $n thi* day and age the
thieve* are *everal ti&e* &ore nu&erou* than in the 2a*t) To adorn the
,hildren +ith valuable 1e+ellery i* a +ay to *2oil the ,hildren and it
al*o te&2ted ordinary 2eo2le to be,o&e thieve*) Nothing i* gained by
doing it at all) You &u*t be ,are/ul about thi*)
$ have *een ,hildren +ith very eF2en*ive ite&* *u,h a* the ring*< the
+ri*t+at,he*< and high Huality /ountain 2en*) The u*er* &u*t be very
2roud o/ the thing* they have) But u*ing eF2en*ive ite&* like that +ill
&ake an eFtravagant 2er*on out o/ that ,hildG it i* al*o a te&2tation /or
the ,hildren< +ho did not have the& to +ant to have the&) $t i* too &u,h
a ,o&2etition in *2ending< +hi,h i* a 2ath to the do+n/all o/ &o*t 2eo2le)
$ think they 2rohibited doing that in govern&ent *,hool* but there are
*o&e 2rivate *,hool* that need to be +arned again*t allo+ing their *tudent*
to +ear eF2en*ive ite&* to *,hool) When $ +a* a *tudent< $ *tayed
at a te&2le) There +ere /orty o/ u*) "ne boy +ent ho&e and he returned
+ith a ne,kla,e) There +a* only one ne,kla,e in the +hole te&2le) "ne
day he +ent *+i&&ing in the river) He took the ne,kla,e o// and 2ut it
in hi* *hirt 2o,ket and hanged hi* *hirt on a tree) He en1oyed hi* *+i&&ing
a lot *o +hen he ,a&e out o/ the river he 2ut on hi* 2ant* and hi*
*hirt< the ne,kla,e dro22ed into the +ater) He tried to go under the +ater
and looked /or it but it +a* in vain) He ,a&e ba,k to the te&2le and
a,,u*ed hi* /riend* o/ *tealing the ne,kla,e) All o/ u* had to be interrogated)
Their +ay o/ interrogation +a* done by a +it,h do,tor< +ho*e ,ere&ony
+a* 2er/or&ed by ,aning a ri,e%grinding bo+lR He told u* +hoever
*tole the ne,kla,e +ould have ,aning +ound* on hi* hi2) The +it,h
==)
do,tor +a* at it /or a long ti&e but no one had any ,aning +ound* on the
hi2) And the ne,kla,e had never been /ound be*ide* there +ere ,on/li,t*
a&ong /riend*) Thi* i* an eFa&2le o/ the trouble ,au*ed by non%e**ential
belonging*< +hi,h $ a*k all o/ the 2arent* to think about a* +ell)
do,tor +a* at it /or a long ti&e but no one had any ,aning +ound* on the
hi2) And the ne,kla,e had never been /ound be*ide* there +ere ,on/li,t*
a&ong /riend*) Thi* i* an eFa&2le o/ the trouble ,au*ed by non%e**ential
belonging*< +hi,h $ a*k all o/ the 2arent* to think about a* +ell)
dation
in their &ind /ro& a young age) The 2arent* *hould be ,are/ul
not to allo+ their ,hildren to be,o&e too 2roud and a&bitiou* to be
like *o&e one and +ith endle** need*) There *hould be *o&e di*,i2line
about a22ro2riate belonging*) Let the& u*e only +hat are ne,e**ary and
not too eF2en*ive) Tea,h the& to look at their u*e/ulne** and not their
beauty) Thi* i* the thing to be trained /ro& ,hildhood) The 2arent* &u*t
al*o be ,are/ul about dre**ing u2 be,au*e they are the eFa&2leG you are
a &irror o/ your ,hildren) $/ that &irror i* ob*,ure< the ,hildren +ill *ee
bad i&age*) $/ the &irror i* ,lear< the i&age i* al*o ,lear) !o the 2arent*
&u*t al+ay* be a good eFa&2le o/ their ,hildren) The ,hildren then +ill
re&e&ber the good eFa&2le o/ the 2arent*) When they gro+ u2 they
+ill be< +ithout a doubt< good 2er*on* in the /a&ily)
Ho2e/ully< the li*tener* +ill give it a thought and do it a,,ordingly)
0ay the order< di*,i2line< and /rugality be +ith all o/ you)
===
The Children +ho have been Trained
are the 0o*t -aluable
DEAR PARENT<
T
T
HERE ARE &any ani&al* that ,an be do&e*ti,ated) A* a &atter o/
/a,t they ,an be trained to do anything) We have *een &onkey*) They
trained the &onkey* to a,t in a 2lay) They +ere able to do a* trained) They
did a good 1ob o/ a,ting< +hi,h 2lea*ed the audien,e very &u,h) The dog*
in A&eri,an &ovie* ,ould do *o &any thing* that the audien,e ,ried out<
DWo+R They kno+ everything< even better than *o&e 2eo2le)E A talking
&ynah in a ,age ,an be taught to *2eak like hu&an being*) When +e *ee
tho*e ani&al* +e ,annot hel2 but +onder ho+ they trained the&) Did
they u*e a +hi2 to beat the& *o they ,ould do anything they +anted or
did they u*e other &ethod*J
$ +ould like to in/or& you that they did not have to +hi2< to threaten<
or to torture in any +ay< *ha2e or /or&) But they 2er*uade all tho*e ani
&al* to do al&o*t anything by giving the& +hat they +ant) $t i* natural
/or all ani&al* in,luding hu&an to be atta,hed to or to like *o&ething)
$/ they like *o&ething i/ they ,an get it they +ill do anything /or you)
A young &an< +ho i* /ond o/ a girl or a girl< +ho i* atta,hed to a young
&an< +ould do anything /or ea,h other even though that thing i* trou
ble*o&e or the &o*t di//i,ult to do) They +ould do that 1u*t to get +hat
they +anted< thatC* +hy) The &onkey*< +ho ,ould &i&i, an a,t< +ere
given o2iu&%la,ed /ood) And o2iu& i* an addi,tive drug) They gave the
drug to the &onkey* a/ter they had done all the a,t*) At the end< the /ood
+a* given to the &onkey*) The ani&al* +ere addi,ted to the ta*te o/ the
/ood) Whenever they +anted the& to 2er/or&< the /ood +a* u*ed a* an
in,entive) When they *a+ the /ood they liked they a,ted a* the &onkey
o+ner told the& to do)
Dog* ,an &i&i, all a,t* in &u,h the *a&e +ay) They u*ed /ood to
indu,e the&) There +a* a *&all dog at the te&2le) When $ +ent to the
dining hall< it /ollo+ed &e to get *o&ething to eat) $ trained it to ,rou,h
until $ /ini*hed &y &eal) Then $ +ould give it the /ood) The neFt day* it
==?
+ould ,o&e to ,rou,h near &y /eet everyday)
+ould ,o&e to ,rou,h near &y /eet everyday)
thing
it +ould do anything to get +hat it +anted) Even though it i* hard
to ,o&&uni,ate +ith ani&al* but they ,an *till be trained) Hu&an ,an
talk to one another) Why ,anCt +e train the&J
EFa&2le* /ro& training ani&al* give an idea /or training hu&an
being*) ;ir*t o/ all the trainer and the trade &u*t love ea,h other) The
2arent* naturally love their ,hildren to begin +ith) But due to love< har&
&ay be a re*ult) Too &u,h love &ake* /or being hotheaded and angry%
2rone) When the ,hildren did *o&ething again*t their +i*h< the 2arent*
be,a&e angry and *2ank the& right a+ay) $t +a* not 2ro2er to do
that) The trainer* &u*t train the&*elve* to be ,ool%hearted< to be rea*onable
and to u*e +i*do& a lot) When the ,hildren did *o&ething di*agreeable
to the& or not a,,ording to their +i*h< do not 2uni*h the& the
/ir*t ti&e) You have to think +hy it +a* like that) Wa* there anything
+rong that &ade the& violate your ,o&&and) ;or eFa&2le< there +a* a
gue*t at ho&eG the little one +a* in that roo& a* +ell) The &other told
hi& to 2ay re*2e,t to the gue*t or it +a* like a ,o&&and telling hi& to
2ay re*2e,t *aying< DWhy didnCt you do itJE The boy +a* *tanding or *itting
*till +ithout ,o&2lying +ith the &otherC* in*tru,tion) !o&eti&e*
he +ould a,t *hyly or by rai*ing hi* hand to ,over hi* /a,e) All tho*e a,t*
indi,ated that he +a* e&barra**ed or he +a* not /a&iliar +ith that gue*t)
"r he &ight not like the look o/ that guy thatC* +hy he 1u*t *at there doing
nothing) $/ the &other *,olded hi& or *2oke *ar,a*ti,ally about hi&< he
+ould be,o&e even &ore e&barra**ed and a,ted like he +a* rebelliou*
and not 2aying attention to her) The 2arent*< +ho are *u22o*ed to be
+i*e and rea*onable< have al*o learned a lot about ,hild behaviour) They
&u*t look at the *ituation ,are/ully) Do not a**u&e that your ,hildren
are *tubborn) There &u*t be a ,au*e in hi* heart not to 2ay re*2e,t to the
==6
&an) ;or eFa&2le< he &ight not under*tand the rea*on +hy he had to 2ay
re*2e,t to that &an) What ,onne,tion did he have +ith the guy /or hi&
to have to *ho+ hi& any re*2e,tJ He +a* he*itant in doing *o) Perha2*
he +a* e&barra**ed to have to do that *o he did not do it) "r he &ight
have *o&e /eeling* in*ide) The adult* did not kno+ about tho*e /eeling*
and they a,,u*ed hi& o/ being thi* and that) Do not /orget that the ,hildren
al*o love and hate like adult*) We &u*t look at the& +ith our +i*do&)
DonCt 1u*t &ake a gue** it +ill be har&/ul to the ,hildren later on)
!o&eti&e* it +a* not be,au*e o/ the ,hildren but the adult* the&*elve*<
+ho had not *ho+n good eFa&2le* /or the ,hildren to *ee) $n*tead
they /or,ed the ,hildren to do another +ay) Ho+ ,an it be doneJ $t i* like<
DDo a* $ *ay but not a* $ do)E The Buddha on,e *aid< D$/ +e +ant to tea,h
anybody about anything< +e &u*t be able to do it our*elve* /ir*tG then
our tea,hing +ill not be ,on/u*ing)E Hi* tea,hing i* +orth our ,on*ideration
and it *hould be /ollo+ed) E*2e,ially in regard to the ,hildren< it i*
very i&2ortant) A* &entioned be/ore *everal ti&e< by nature the ,hildren
love to *i&ulate the a,t* o/ tho*e +ho are ,lo*e to the&) When there i*
no eFa&2le /or the&< it i* not /air to bla&e the& at all) The 2arent* &u*t
a,t a* eFa&2le*) To tea,h the& to do a* they have been taught then you
&u*t al*o tea,h the& to like +hat they are doing too and not by /or,ing
the& to do it) Even the 2arent*< or anybody /or that &atter< do not like
to be /or,ed to do anything) We all love to do thing* voluntarily) !o there
i* one 2rin,i2le to /ollo+< DRe/rain /ro& doing thing* +hi,h ,au*e 2ainG
in*tead give the& 2lea*ure o/ten)E
Thi* i* very i&2ortant) No &atter +hat to2i, you +ant to tea,h your
,hildren< you &u*t try to &ake it 2lea*ant to the& and &ake it agreeable
to the& to do a* told by the&*elve*) When $ talk about thi* $ need to
a*k you to think about #ho Nanthavi*al >Nanthavi*al +a* an oF@ a little)
The o+ner o/ the oF lo*t a ga&ble the /ir*t ti&e be,au*e he /or,ed the oF
to do thing* u*ing un2lea*ant +ord*) !o he lo*t the &oney) The *e,ond
ti&e he u*e gentle +ord* and not a threatening one< #ho Nanthavi*al +a*
able to 2ull one hundred ,art* +ithout &u,h di//i,ulty) The *tory *hould
tea,h you *o&ething) "ne 2rin,i2le to have in training the ,hildren i*
DReHue*t *o&e one to do *o&ething i* al+ay* better than /or,ing that
==9
2er*on to do thing*)E $n general< /or &o*t 2eo2le i/ they re*i*t< there i*
no +ay to /or,e the&) The heart o/ training hu&an being* i* right here)
The Buddha +a* kno+n to be the tea,her +ho ,ould train 2eo2le
better than anybody ,ould) Ho+ did he train tho*e 2eo2leJ $/ +e look
,are/ully +e +ill *ee that he trained 2eo2le +ith love and gentlene**) Even
though< the 2eo2le +ho vi*ited hi& ,a&e in ha*te and +ith hot te&2er<
he did not an*+er the& in the *a&e +ay) Be,au*e i/ +e bring a hot 2er*on
near a heater< ho+ ,an he be ,ooled do+nJ The 2ro2er thing to do i*
to bring hi& ,lo*e to an ele,tri, /an or in an air%,onditioned roo&) Every
ti&e 2eo2le ,a&e in hot and bothered< the Buddha an*+ered the& +ith
a ,ool head or he +ould agree +ith the& /ir*t) When they had ,ooled
do+n then he +ould an*+er ba,k +ith rea*on*) Tho*e 2eo2le +ould kneel
do+n by hi* /eet) Thi* i* an eFa&2le o/ a good training ta,ti,)
$n training ,hildren to have good &anner*< you &u*t ,on*ider a
Dha&&a 2rin,i2le the Buddha taught) $t *aid everything ha22ened
/ro& a ,au*e) $/ there i* no ,au*e< there +ill never be an e//e,t) U*e
thi* 2rin,i2le to ,on*ider the a,tion o/ the ,hildren and to /ind a *olution
to the ,au*e o/ that event) $n 2re*enting the *olution< you &u*t +ait until
the ,hildren are no longer in a bad &ood) When the ,urrent i* running
*trong< the boat +ill *ink /or *ure i/ you dare turn one *ide o/ the boat
again*t the ,urrent) You *hould talk to the& +hen they are /eeling good)
$t i* better be,au*e the 2eo2le +ho are not /eeling good are not rea*onable)
They ,ould not li*ten and under*tand anything) Be*ide* they &ight
get &ad again) !o +e &u*t be ,are/ul)
The 2eo2le in the an,ient ti&e taught u* Dnot to u*e te&2er to /ight
in boFing)E $n boFing< i/ one boFe* in anger< u*ing anger a* 2o+er< then he
+ill be at a di*advantage to the ,oolheaded guy) $t i* the *a&e in +orking
+ith the ,hildren) DonCt ever u*e rage) You &u*t do the 1ob +ith a ,ool
heart) "nly ,oldne** ,an /ight again*t heat) !o&e adult* talk too &u,h)
When the ,hildren had done *o&ething +rong they +ould nag and nag)
They thought that their nagging +ould hel2 the ,hildren to re&e&ber and
+ould not do like that again) The ,hildren in*tead 2u*h harder) Plea*e
do not be like that) Talk to the& +ith rea*on* and a ,ool head 1u*t on,e)
That i* enough) $/ the ,hildren ke2t doing it then you &u*t tea,h the&
==I
again the neFt ti&e) Every ti&e the tea,hing i* done< your ,hildren
&u*t /eel that they +ere taught /ro& the &outh o/ *o&e one +ho love
and +i*h the& +ell) Do not ever ,reate a /eeling that you hated the&
*o you talked to the& that +ay) Eventually the t+o *ide* ,ould not get
along and they turned again*t ea,h other /or no rea*on at all)
again the neFt ti&e) Every ti&e the tea,hing i* done< your ,hildren
&u*t /eel that they +ere taught /ro& the &outh o/ *o&e one +ho love
and +i*h the& +ell) Do not ever ,reate a /eeling that you hated the&
*o you talked to the& that +ay) Eventually the t+o *ide* ,ould not get
along and they turned again*t ea,h other /or no rea*on at all)
dren
+alked loudlyG they +ould ,all the& over and hit the anklebone *everal
ti&e*) That +a* a bit too ,ruel) Plea*e do not u*e that &ethod o/ten)
$n*tead &ake the& /eel that they have &ade a &i*take and /or the& to
,hange by the&*elve*) Every ti&e you *ho+ your anger to+ard* the ,hildren<
you are a,tually training the& to be angry a* +ell) Ho+ ,an the
training be good i/ you &ake the& angryJ Plea*e u*e your +i*do& to
think about thi* /air and *Huare) You +ill *ee /or your*el/ that the di*advantage
out+eigh* the advantage) And *o you *hould avoid doing that)
Re&e&ber the +ord* o/ *o&e +i*e 2eo2le< DAd&ire the& to +ork i* better
than ad&oni*h the& to +ork)E Every one &u*t have done *o&ething
/or u* to ad&ire hi& or her i/ +e take an intere*t in giving the ,o&2li&ent
e*2e,ially at the ti&e +hen *o&ething good i* done and the +arning
ha* been given by u* 2reviou*ly) A /e+ +ord* o/ ,o&2li&ent at the
right ti&e are 2ri,ele**)
Looking a/ter the ,hildren or a grou2 o/ 2eo2le need* de,i*ivene**
at ti&e*) But the de,i*ivene** +ill be e//e,tive only +hen you +ill do a*
you *aid and do not talk too &u,h but only +ith rea*on* and /inality)
Whatever that +a* *aid< it &u*t al+ay* be done) You &u*t re/rain /ro&
nagging but it ha* to be de,i*ive and +ithout *ho+ing anger) To do that
your +ord* +ill be re*2e,ted a lot) !u22o*e your ,hildren +ere having
a &eal together< one o/ the& &ade a &i*take in hi*Oher table &anner*<
+hi,h you have already +arned the&) They kne+ that to do that +a* not
2ro2er but they /orgot again< you *hould re2ri&and the& a little but +ith
deter&ined voi,e) And you *hould re*erve 2uni*h&ent that i/ it ha22ened
again that 2er*on +ould not be allo+ed to eat together +ith the
grou2 but +ould have to eat alone or a/ter the other*) Puni*h&ent like
that i* not that har*h) $/ they 2lay +ith other ,hildren and a,t like they
==5
are the big guy* or a,t *el/i*hly like an athlete +ho ha* no *2orting *2irit*
then you *hould re*erve the 2uni*h&ent /or the& a* +ell) The re*erved
2uni*h&ent or the 2robation +ould be not to allo+ the& to 2lay +ith
their /riend* or not to 1oin in any *2ort*) Thi* +ill 2revent the& /ro&
be,o&ing too aggre**ive) $/ you take your ,hildren any+here or to vi*it
*o&e /riend* at their ho&e< you *hould advi*e the& ho+ to behave the&*elve*
*o they under*tand ,learly) $/ they do not behave a* 2ro&i*ed then
you +ould re/rain /ro& taking the& out again be,au*e to go out +ith
tho*e +ho do not kno+ the rule o/ *o,ial ,ondu,t* i* e&barra**ing) The
,hildren +ill kno+ it +a* their o+n /ault* *o they +ill be &ore attentive
to your tea,hing) Regarding all the*e< the 2arent* &u*t al+ay* 2ay attention
to the ,hildren) When they *ee that the ,hildren have done *o&ething
good 2eo2le +ould not do< you &u*t /ind the ti&e to eF2lain to
the& and to &ake ,orre,tion o/ their behaviour*)
$n regard to the &anner* o/ the ,hildren< i/ the 2arent* do not 2ay
enough attention to ,orre,t the *ituation< the bad habit* +ill *tay +ith
the ,hildren) And the /uture o/ your /a&ily +ill be ob*,ure and 1oyle**)
The re*2on*ibility on all o/ the*e re*t* totally on the *houlder* o/
the 2arent*) $ +ould like to re&ind all o/ you /or the la*t ti&e to 2ay /ull
attention to the& at all ti&e)
THE END
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