What is Stalking?
The Facts
Stalking and harassment is behaviour that is repeated and
unwanted by the victim. The behaviours may seem normal and
ordinary, however, when they are repeated they can be menacing
and cause alarm and distress to the victim.
Behaviours include:- Frequent unwanted contact such as appearing
at the victims home, workplace, telephone calls, text messages,
letters, notes, e-mails, faxes, or other contact on social networking
sites like Facebook, Bebo, My Space etc;- Driving past the victims
home of workplace;- Following, watching or loitering near the victim;
- Sending letters or unwanted gifts (gifts may appear nice but
could have a sinister meaning);- Damaging significant property
belonging to the victim;- Burglary or robbery of the victims home,
workplace, car;- Gathering information on the victim by contacting
people who know the victim, using public records etc;- Harassment
of others close to the victim;- Threats to harm or kill (includes sexual
threats) the victim or those close, particularly those who are seen to
be protecting the victim or acting as the buffer between the victim
and the stalker;- Physical and/or sexual assault of victim.
Other facts The popular image of a stalker is that of the stranger in
the night, something that is suddenly visited on you by some
madman. However, most female victims KNOW their stalker.
Sheridan and Davies (2001) found that ex-intimate stalkers were the
most aggressive and dangerous of all stalkers. Being stalked
carries a high violence risk if there is a previous sexual/intimate
relationship. It is not always about long-term relationships. Stalkers
include estranged husbands, ex-boyfriends, a one-time date or an
unwanted suitor. The end of a relationship can produce some very
powerful emotions, feelings of loss, anger or rage. Some people will
not want the relationship to end. However, you need to feel
concerned when the behaviour frightens you or instils fear.
Complete the Stalking and Harassment Risk Identification Checklist
(S-DASH 2009) if you are feeling frightened. Stalking is a crime of
power, control and intimidation. The stalker enforces the belief that
the victim cannot choose who is in their lives this is a very
dangerous belief.
What does the term stalking mean? Stalking is not a legal term
used in the context of the criminal justice system. It is a colloquial
term used in to describe a particular type of harassment.
Types of stalking and motivation There are mainly two types of
stalking: unwanted pursuit by a stranger and unwanted pursuit by
someone the victim knows. The media tends to report on stalking
and the stalker as if it were are some sort of special crime or that
they are a special type of criminal. However, those who choose
regular people as their victims are not. They are NOT from Mars
they are the man our sister dated, the man the company hired, the
man our friend married. Motivations for the stalking behaviour can
be different. These can include revenge, retribution, resentment, a
response to a perceived humiliation, a desire for control,
reconciliation and/or loneliness. In some cases the motivation will be
the delusional belief that an individual is in love with the stalker.
This is called erotomania. In some cases the harassment may relate
to the obsessive preoccupation with a particular cause of issues that
may be politically motivated. The motivation will inform the level at
risk the victim is at in terms of risk of harm from the stalker. The
motivation will also inform the typology of stalking, as well as what
intervention tactics that might be effective in any given case. The
context and behaviour of the stalker is crucial to understanding this.
What to do if you believe you are being stalked?
DO Gather evidence and document everything. Keep texts, emails, letters, notes, faxes, gifts. Preserve any gifts or packages
that are sent to you. Box them up or if they are perishable bag them
up and place them in the freezer. Record the date and time they
were sent/left. Record anything that is happening to you on a
camera/video or Dictaphone, for example. Most mobile phones now
have these facilities. You can also keep a Dictaphone in your bag
and use it when s/he contacts you to record conversations/threats
etc. Keep a diary of the stalking incidents and make a note of the
time and date. Make the diary entry whilst it is all fresh in your
mind. Inform people around you family, friends, neighbours, work
colleagues, for example. Ask them to record sightings, if they are
approached by your stalker or what is said to them by the stalker.
Feel concerned if the stalker is making threats such as If I cant
have you, no-one can or If you report me, Ill kill you or If you
were to ever leave me, Ill kill you/myself and/or the child(ren). If
you are very frightened contact your local police. Complete the
Stalking and Harassment Risk Identification Checklist (S-DASH
2009). If you feel in immediate danger at any time call 999.
DONT Think that you are being paranoid or a drama queen.
Follow your instinct if you believe you are being stalked. Allow the
stalker to shrink your world down. Do not allow his/her behaviour to
isolate you from your friends/family/colleagues. Make sure everyone
around you is aware of what is happening.
What about if I am being called all the time?
DO Record the phone calls and also document it in your diary the
content of what was said and the time. Do this as soon as the call
has happened. Save any text messages from your stalker and
make a note of what they say and the time and date they were
received. Use 1471 and note the number they are using. If it is
displayed on your mobile note the number down in your diary and
the time. Ask someone else to answer the phone and make your
employer aware at work, if they call you there. If you are a BT
customer, there are a number of things that might assist see
www.bt.custhelp.com Or contact BT Malicious Calls Bureau on 0800
661 441 (24hrs, 7 days a week). Remove your telephone number
from direct marketing lists by registering with the Telephone
Preference Service at Telephone Preference (www.tpsonline.org.uk)
Registration Line: 0845 070 0707. Remove your fax number from
direct marketing lists by registering with the Fax Preference Service
at Fax Preference, (www.fpsonline.org.uk) registration Line: 08450
700 70.
DONT Enter into ANY conversation with the stalker at ANY time.
No contact means NO contact. Think that you can rationalise with
your stalker. They know what they are doing it is part of a targeted
campaign and they probably wont stop until they are stopped. Pick
up the phone if they are calling even if they ring/text a hundred
times. Proactively call them or respond in ANY way. Give away any
personal information about yourself or those you live with unless
youre familiar with the caller. This also includes on your voicemail
i.e. saying you are away on holiday or in the phone book or ever
saying you live on your own/or are home alone if you are female, for
example.
If you think that you are being followed
DO Try to stay calm. Always carry a mobile phone. Always carry
a notepad and pen to record what is happening. If you see your
stalker, at the next available safe opportunity, note down details,
location, description of person, vehicle details, especially the
registration number/make of car. Take a picture/video using your
mobile phone. If necessary, call the police. Vary your routine. We
are all creatures of habit, and if they know you or have been
watching you they will know your routine. Take different routes to
work, shop in a different supermarket, meet friends in different
social places, for example. Try and be unpredictable in terms of your
patterns of behaviour. Drive to the nearest police station/court
house to seek assistance. If you feel in imminent physical danger,
stop safely and use your mobile phone to dial 999.
DONT Dismiss it and think you are being silly or over dramatic.
Again, pay attention to your instinct and ensure you record what is
happening and document the time and date, whilst it is fresh in your
mind. Confront your stalker or engage in ANY discussion with them.
Security MeasuresYou need to consider your home and work place in
terms of security measures. In terms of your home you can ask for
your local Crime Prevention Officer to visit and advise you on home
security.Equally, over the last few years work place violence has
increased and the work place is NOT a safe haven. So you need to
take security measures at your work place, as well as in your
personal life to maximise security. Employer awareness let them
know what is happening to you. A good employer should initiate a
file on what is happening to you, particularly if your stalker works at
the same place. Ensure they have a description of the stalker get
a photo if possible. Ask your manager to handle all inquiries made
about you, including phone calls, e-mails, faxes and visits or
suspicious packages being sent. Get permission to park your
vehicle close to the building or in an area that is well lit.
Further advice to reduce the risk of stalking Limit the amount of
personal information you put in the public domain. This includes on
networking sites, the internet, phone book etc. Consider obtaining
a secure PO Box for your contact address. Details can be found on
the Royal Mail website www.royalmail.com or by contacting them on
08457 950 950. An accompanying letter from the police will be
required for your application. It is possible to make sure your name
and address do not appear on the electoral register. You can receive
a certificate of anonymous registration. (But you do still have the
choice to send this information through to credit reference agencies
so youll still be able to get a credit rating.) However, to get a
certificate of anonymous registration you will need a court order
that is in force, or a qualified person to support your application.
This registration lasts for one year and does not apply in Northern
Ireland. See the notes in Section 8 of the application form. For more
details go to www.aboutmyvote.co.uk. Remove your name and
address from any direct mail marketing lists by contacting theMailing
Preference
Service
at
Mailing
Preference,
(www.mpsonline.org.uk) Registration Line: 0845 703 4599.
REMEMBER
There is still limited knowledge, awareness and education about
stalking, even though the problem is getting bigger. Many people
and agencies, including law enforcement, still do not fully
understand stalking and harassment behaviours and the risks.
They may not understand how frightening it is when it is happening
to you. Many will expect to see physical violence and think it is not
so serious until this happens. However, a lot of the stalking
behaviour is about coercive control and jealous surveillance i.e.
psychological abuse/violence. This does not make it any less
dangerous.
Do not despair if you have not been satisfied with the initial police
response. Keep trying to be heard. Complete the Stalking and
Harassment Risk Identification Checklist (VS-DASH 2009) attached
below and then take it into the Police if you answer positively to the
questions. We can assure you that most police officers want to help,
but they sometimes lack the tools and training needed.
http://www.protectionagainststalking.org/node/22
