EPISODE 1 REWRITE

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SCENE 1 EDWARDS HOUSE

JOHN IS SEEN WALKING UP TO THE DOORSTEP AND RINGING THE
DOORBELL. Edwards mom answers the door.
EDWARDS MOM
(to John)
Oh hello you must be John. How are
you sweetie?
JOHN
(to Edwards Mom)
Why I am great. How are you on this
fine evening? Also may I add that
you look beautiful tonight.
EDWARDS MOM
(to John)
Oh why thank you.
(Screaming to Edward, who
is off-screen)
Edward your friend is here!
EDWARD COMES TO THE DOOR
EDWARD LOOKS LIKE HE IS SURPRISED WHEN LOOKING AT JOHN
JOHN
(to Edward)
Why hello Edward. It is so nice to
see you on this fine evening.
EDWARD
(to his mom)
What he is he doing here?
EDWARDS MOM
(to Edward)
Why I invited him over for dinner.
He seems like a lovely young man.
JOHN
Oh stop, your embarrassing me.
EDWARD
Oh no no no no, that's a REALLY bad
idea
EDWARDS MOM
(to Edward)
Edward! Your being rude! Now invite
your little friend inside!

2.

But

EDWARD
(to Edwards Mom)

EDWARDS MOM
(to Edward)
No Buts!
EDWARD
(angrily, to John)
Please come in
JOHN WALKS INSIDE THE HOUSE.
JOHN
Why what a lovely home you have
EDWARDS MOM
(to John)
Why thank you. Now you boys run
along and play in Edwards room.
Dinner will be ready soon.
EDWARDS MOM EXITS TO THE RIGHT, AS EDWARD AND JOHN GO UP THE
STAIRS
EDWARD AND JOHN ENTER EDWARDS ROOM AND EDWARD SLAMS THE DOOR
BEHIND THEM
JOHN
(to Edward)
Why what a lovely room you have
Edward.
EDWARD
(to John)
Dude what the hell are you doing
here?
JOHN
(to Edward)
What? Can't a friend come to a
friends house for dinner?
EDWARD
(to John)
Listen I know i'm your friend in
school and all but I never expected
you to just show up at my house.
JOHN
(to Edward)
What's wrong Edward? You seem
worried.

3.
EDWARD
(to John)
Listen I know what you do in
school. Just don't pull any of that
crap here okay?
JOHN
(to Edward, sarcastically)
Why what ever are you talking
about?
EDWARD
(to John)
I'm serious dude! My moms really
strict. If you piss her off I don't
know what will happen.
JOHN
(to Edward)
Don't worry, your my best friend. I
would never do anything to you.
EDWARD
(to John)
Thanks dude.
EDWARDS MOM
(from off-screen)
Dinners ready!
SCENE CHANGES TO EDWARD, EDWARDS OLDER SISTER, AND JOHN
ENTERING THE DINNING ROOM AND SITTING AT THE TABLE
EDWARDS MOM PUTS THE DISH IN THE CENTER OF THE TABLE
EDWARDS MOM (CONTD)
Tonight we are having broiled
chicken.
JOHN
(to Edwards Mom)
Why it looks delicious. Thank you
for having me over.
EDWARDS MOM
(to John)
Why it's nothing sweetie! You are
so polite!
EDWARDS MOM PUTS A PIECE OF CHICKEN ON HIS PLATE
JOHN
(to Edwards mom)
Why thank you so much.

4.
EDWARDS MOM
Before we eat lets say grace. John
would you look to do the honors?
JOHN
(to Edwards Mom)
Why it would be my pleasure.
ALL OF THEM PUT THERE HEADS DOWN IN A PRAYING POSITION
CAMERA SWITCHES TO WHERE JUST JOHN IN THE PRAYING POSITION IS
SEEN
JOHN CLEARS HIS THROAT
JOHN (CONTD)
Dear lord thank you so much for
this beautiful bounty you have
bestowed upon us. Although I'm not
really sure what you had to do with
this dinner really. I mean you
didn't cook it, you didn't help pay
for it, and you didn't even raise
the chicken that we are eating. I
mean you literally had nothing to
do with this at all, but yet we are
still thanking for some reason. You
know what no! You just can't expect
to sit on your ass all day and then
have us worship you like you have
done everything for us! If you want
to be thanked then how about you
get off your ass and actually do
something!
JOHN STICKS HIS MIDDLE FINGER INTO THE AIR
JOHN (CONTD)
Fuck you god!
CAMERA SWITCHES TO EVERYONE ELSE AT THE TABLE LOOKING SHOCKED
CAMERA SWITCHES BACK TO JOHN, WHO PUTS HIS MIDDLE FINGER AWAY
AND GOES BACK INTO PRAYING POSITION
Amen.

JOHN (CONTD)

SCENE 2 SCHOOL INSIDE THE CLASSROOM

WE FADE INTO THE CLASSROOM WHERE EDWARD IS SITTING IN HIS
DESK IN THE FRONT ROW. OTHER KIDS ARE TALKING AND MOVING
BEHIND HIM. JOHN ENTERS FROM THE LEFT SIDE.

5.
EDWARD IS SITTING IN HIS DESK WHICH IS THE SECOND DESK FROM
THE LEFT SIDE. JACOB AND TIMMY ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER IN
THERE DESKS, WHICH ARE RIGHT BEHIND JOHN AND EDWARDS. Oliver
is sitting in the desk next to Johns.
JOHN
(to Edward)
Hey bro whats up?
EDWARD
(to John)
What's up?!?! My mom is pissed
about what happened last night,
that's whats up!
JOHN
(to Edward)
Why what ever could you be talking
about?
EDWARD
(to John)
Listen dude I release your an
atheist and all but that doesn't
mean you have a dick to people who
are religious.
JOHN
(to Edward)
What? I'm not an Atheist. I'm
Christian dude. I just like pissing
people off.
JOHN MOVES TO THE RIGHT AND SITS IN HIS DESK. RIGHT NEXT TO
EDWARDS.
MRS.SUAKACOCK ENTERS FROM THE RIGHT. SHE STOPS BEFORE THE
DESK AND IN FRONT OF THE SMART BOARD.
MRS.SUAKACOCK
Everyone quiet down! I said quiet
down! I'm talking to you David!
DAMIAN
(to Mrs.Suakacock)
Fuck you, you fat bitch! My name is
Damian not David!

6.
MRS.SUAKACOCK
(to Damian)
Listen your name on the roaster is
David and besides if I didn't agree
to call that transgender kid by the
name he wanted, I'm sure as hell
not going to do the same for you.
DAMIAN
(to Mrs.Suakacock)
Whatever! I'm going to fucking kill
myself anyways! Then you will all
be sorry!
MRS.SUAKACOCK
(to Damian)
Now David you don't have to kill
yourself because your gay.
DAMIAN
(to Mrs.Suakacock)
I'm not gay!
MRS.SUAKACOCK
(to Damian)
Trust me hon with that hair you
definitely like to take cock.
DAMIAN LOOKS UP AT HIS HAIR AND STARTS TO FEEL IT.
MRS.SUAKACOCK (CONTD)
(to Damian)
Well anyways children today we will
be learning about Climate Change
and how it's your fault that all
life on Earth will be dead in a
hundred years.
SCENE 3 OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL
The scene fades in with a shot of the outside of the school.
The bell rings and students start coming out of the building.
Then the camera zooms up to the door where Edward is exiting.
He looks angry. John exits a few seconds later and walks up
to him.
JOHN
(to Edward)
Hey dude want to come over to my
house today?

7.
EDWARD
(to John)
No I don't want to go to your
house!
JOHN
(to Edward)
Whoa looks like someone is on there
period. What's up your ass?
EDWARD
(to John)
I'm still pissed about what you did
at my house!
JOHN
(to Edward)
Oh my god Edward are we still
talking about that? This is why our
ratings are going to be shit
compared to The Simpsons and South
Park, they would have moved on by
now!
EDWARD
(to John)
Wait what are you talking about?...
Well either way i'm still mad!
Jacob and Jamal exit the school.
JACOB
Hey guys what's up?
JOHN
(to Jacob)
Edward is on his period.
EDWARD
I'm not on my period!
JOHN
(whispering to Jacob)
He's totally on his period.
EDWARD
I'm just mad because John said some
very inappropriate things in front
of my family.
DAMIAN
(from off-screen)
I think I know a way I can settle
your argument.

8.
The camera switches to the dark hallway inside in the school
from which Damian slowly emerges with a evil smile on his
face.
JOHN
(pointing at Damian)
Hey look it's that gay kid!
DAMIAN
(to John)
For the last time I'm Goth not Gay!
There is a big difference!
JOHN
(rolling his eyes)
Tomato Tomato, Goth Gay, it's all
the same shit.
DAMIAN
Well where I come from we used to
settle arguments with BB guns, but
since I don't trust John with a
weapon of any kind, we will be
using Airsoft Guns instead.
JAMAL
(to Damian)
So you expect us to fight with some
fake guns? How immature do you
think we are?
JOHN
All right Airsoft Guns! Let's do
this shit! I bet you guys I can get
Edward out in two seconds.
EDWARD
(to John)
You know what fine! Your on!
JOHN
(to Edward)
Oh it's on alright. It's on like
that game Nintendo copyrighted!
Well let's make teams. It's ladies
first so Edward why don't you pick
first.
EDWARD
I pick Damian
Damian walks over to Edward.

9.
JOHN
I pick Jamal.
JAMAL
(to John)
I don't want to be on your fucking
team.
JOHN
(to Jamal)
God dammit Jamal! Get over here
right now or I'll make you pick
some goddamn cotton!
JAMAL
(to John)
You can't do that! That's slavery!
JOHN
(to Jamal)
Jamal i'm white and your black. As
long as I'm not a cop I can do
anything I want to you and get away
with it.
Jamal walks over to John.
EDWARD
Well then I pick Jacob.
Jacob walks over to Edward
JOHN
Hey no fair everyone's been taken.
Oliver walks out of the school. John walks over to him.
JOHN (CONTD)
(to Oliver)
Hey Oliver.
OLIVER
(to John)
Oh hi John
(breathes heavily)
What can I do
(breaths heavily)
for you on this fine evening?
JOHN
(rolling his eyes and
whispering to himself)
I can't belive it's come to this.

10.
JOHN (CONTD)
(to Oliver)
Well Oliver I have a proposition
for you.
Oliver tries to say something but John put's his finger over
Oliver's mouth.
JOHN (CONTD)
(to Oliver)
Shh don't talk just listen. Anyways
I was wondering if you would be
willing to fight in a Airsoft Gun
war with me?
OLIVER
(to John)
But I have
(breathes heavily)
Extreme asthma.
JOHN
(to Oliver)
Now Oliver the other kids make fun
of you for having asthma right?
OLIVER
(to John)
No only you do.
JOHN
(to Oliver)
Well this can your chance to show
everyone your capable of playing
sports to.
OLIVER
(to John)
You know what
(breathes heavily)
Your right! I'm in!
JOHN
(to Oliver)
Great glad to have you. You were my
first choice you know. Well anyways
I'll go tell the other guys that
your in.
John starts to walk away while whispering to himself.

11.
JOHN (CONTD)
(whispering to himself)
Looks like I found the perfect
human shield.
John walks over to the others.
JOHN (CONTD)
Okay guys Oliver is my last
teammate.
EDWARD
(to John)
Wait Oliver is actually willing to
be on your team?
JOHN
(to Edward)
Yes, is that a problem?
EDWARD
(to John)
I just thought he wouldn't to help
you after everything you did to
him.
JOHN
(to Edward)
What did I ever to him?
EDWARD
(to John)
Well you started calling him The
Little Fatass That Couldn't when he
couldn't finish the jogging course
in Gym class.
JACOB
(to John)
There was also that one time you
stole his inhalator and threw it
into the Girls room.
JAMAL
(to John)
You also started that Facebook page
telling him to kill himself.
JOHN
Okay, okay I know I did some mean
things to him in the past, but
things are different now. Now he's
actually useful to me.

12.
Oliver walks over to the rest of the guys.
OLIVER
Hey guys! I'm
(breaths heavily)
Ready to play Airsoft with you
guys! Hopefully we can have
(breaths heavily)
A fair and
(breaths heavily)
Fun game!
JOHN
(to himself)
I am so fucked.
SCENE 4 HILLBILLY FIELD
The scene fades in with the boys approaching a large field
with two small shacks on both ends. The boys have Airsoft
guns in their hands and protective equipment on.
OLIVER
Wait this is Hillbilly field!
DAMIAN
(to Oliver)
Yeah so?
OLIVER
Don't a bunch of crazy Hillbillies
live here?
JOHN
(to Oliver)
God-dammit Oliver stop being such a
pussy! They got rid of all of those
Hillbillies a few years ago.
OLIVER
(to John)
But my parents told me not to go
here.
JOHN
(to Oliver)
If your parents told you to kill
yourself would listen?
OLIVER
(to John)
Well no.

13.
JOHN
(to Oliver)
Well you should.
DAMIAN
Okay so John's team gets the shack
on the left as there base and
Edwards team gets the right shack.
If your shot your out. The first
team to lose all of it's players
loses.
Edward turns and faces John.
EDWARD
(to John)
I still don't forgive you but I
hope we can have a fair and fun
game.
JOHN
(to Edward)
Fuck you asshole! I'll win this
game and get revenge for... Well I
forgot why I was angry but I still
hate you!
John and his team to the left and Edwards team walks to the
right.
SCENE 5 INSIDE THE RIGHT SHACK
Edward is standing in front of a blackboard with a picture of
the playing field drawn on it. Damian and Jacob are on the
floor staring at the board.
EDWARD
Okay so here's the plan. Jacob you
start by hiding behind these empty
beer boxes here.
Edward points to the drawing of boxes on the blackboard.
EDWARD (CONTD)
From there you will be able to
protect the right side of the
field. Damian I want you hide
behind this tree here.
Edward points to a drawing of a tree on the blackboard.

14.
EDWARD (CONTD)
From there you will be able to
protect the middle of the field. I
will be staying here and providing
cover fire from the window. With
out defensive strategy we should be
able to win quickly and easily.
The camera cuts to the left shack. John is standing in front
of a blackboard with a badly drawn picture of the playing
field on it. Jamal and Oliver are sitting on the floor
staring at the blackboard.
JOHN
I have the perfect plan to lead us
to victory. I call it Operation
Fatty and Blackey. Okay so Oliver
you start by running down the
middle of field.
OLIVER
Isn't that really
(breaths heavily)
Dangerous?
JOHN
It will be fine. Anyways Jamal you
will be staying back here until
Oliver is shot. After he is shot
you will know where they are
hiding. Once you see where they are
you activate your black
superpowers, charge in, and shoot
all those fuckers dead!
JAMAL
(to John)
What the fuck are black
superpowers?
JOHN
(to Jamal)
You know that power all black
people have to be very destructive
whenever a black person doesn't win
a court case. Just think of the
Zimmerman trial and you should be
able to activate them.
JAMAL
(to John)
So what will you be doing during
all of this?

15.
JOHN
(to Jamal)
I will have the most important job
of all. I will be supervising the
operation in the safety of this
shack.
JAMAL
(to John)
So pretty much you sit on your ass
while we do all the work right?
JOHN
Don't call it sitting on my ass.
Call it supervising.
SCENE 6 THE FRONT DOOR OF THE LEFT SHACK
John is trying to push Oliver out the door. Oliver is trying
to resist.
OLIVER
(to John)
John I really don't think
(heavy breathing)
This is a good idea.
JOHN
(to Oliver)
Listen Oliver this isn't about me,
you, or any stupid game. It'a about
respect for all the overweight
people in America! People think all
fat people can do is sit on reddit
all day eating Double Stuff Oreo's
bought at the discount section at
Walmart! If you do this you can
show America that fat people are
just as important and intelligent
as us good looking people. So go
out there and show the world what
an overweight person can really do!
OLIVER
(to John)
You know what your right! Look out
world here I come!
Oliver runs forward off camera.
JOHN
(to himself)
Dumb-ass.

16.
John goes back into the shack and slams the old wooden door
behind him.
The screen cuts to Oliver walking slowly through across the
field.
OLIVER
(to himself)
Calm down there is nothing to be
afraid of. They already got rid of
all the hillbillies a long time
ago.
A bush rustles behind him.
OLIVER (CONTD)
(to himself)
Calm down
(heavy breathing)
It's just your...
Someone off screen puts their hand over his mouth as he tries
to scream. Then the scene cuts to the right shack. Edward is
looking out the window with binoculars in his right hand and
an airsoft gun in his other.
EDWARD
(to himself)
Why aren't they attacking? Do they
know about my plan?
Edward takes a Walkie Talkie out of his pocket.
EDWARD (CONTD)
(to Jacob, through the
Walkie Talkie)
Jacob, come in Jacob. Can you hear
me Jacob? Over.
JACOB
(through the Walkie Talkie
to Edward)
Jacob here. Over.
EDWARD
(to Jacob, through the
Walkie Talkie)
Have you seen any sign of John or
his team? Over.
JACOB
(through the Walkie Talkie
to Edward)
No I haven't seen anything.
(MORE)

17.
JACOB (CONTD)
Now that I think about I haven't
heard from Damian in a whi...
EDWARD
(through the Walkie
Talkie)
Hello? Jacob are you there? Jacob?
Edward angrily chucks the Walkie Talkie on the ground.
EDWARD (CONTD)
(to himself)
What the fuck is going on out
there?
Someone comes up behind Edward and grabs him. The scene cuts
to the left shack. John and Jamal are sitting on the floor
looking bored.
JOHN
What the fuck is taking that fatass so long?
JAMAL
(to John)
So what do we do now?
JOHN
(to Jamal)
I guess we have no choice. Jamal go
use your black people powers and
beat up Edwards team.
JAMAL
(to John)
For the last time black people
don't have magical powers!
JOHN
(to Jamal)
Then how do you explain Magic
Johnson?
A brief moment of silence passes.
JOHN (CONTD)
(to Jamal)
I thought so.
Two people come behind them and grab them.

18.
SCENE 7 RIGHT SHACK
The scene fades in and all the boys knocked out in a dark
room. They are sitting in a corner together, they all have
their hands and feet tied. John is the first to wake up.

Huh?

JOHN
(to himself)

John looks around what's going on.

JOHN (CONTD)
Guys wake up! I think we've been
kidnapped!
The others besides Oliver all wake up. They all look around
in a confused fashion.
EDWARD
What's going on?
JOHN
(to Edward sarcastically)
Oh Jeez Edward do you think I know
everything? Because if I do then I
might as well go play the lottery
or maybe bet on the Superbowl!
DAMIAN
Shut up you two. Whoever kidnapped
us might hear you.
JACOB
Hey guys Oliver is not waking up.
EDWARD
(whispering to Oliver)
Oliver, psst Oliver. Wake up.
(to all)
Guys I think this might be serious.
He's really knocked out cold.
John rolls on eyes
JOHN
Goddammit can you guys do anything
right? I'll wake him up.
(to Oliver)
Hey double stuffed I heard that all
White Castle crave cases are half
off today.

19.
Oliver wakes up and starts looking around in a confused
fashion.
OLIVER
Huh? Guys where are we?
JOHN
You see all fat people love
unhealthy foods in large portions.
That's how Hershey Park manages to
stay in business.
The five hillbilly's emerge from the darkness.
HILLBILLY 1
Well well well, what do we have
here?
HILLBILLY 2
Didn't you're parents ever tell you
to stay away from Hillbilly field?
HILLBILLY 3
You do know what we do with
intruders around here don't you?
HILLBILLY 4
Let's just say we have "fun" with
them.
HILLBILLY 5
Especially when there as handsome
as all of you.
JOHN
(to Hillbilly 5)
Oh why thank you.
(to all)
You see guys this isn't so bad...
Oh wait were getting raped aren't
we?
SCENE 8 RIGHT SHACK
The scene begins with the boys all cowering in fear. The five
Hillbilly's are gathering around the boys.
HILLBILLY 1
Oh boy, oh boy I can't wait!
HILLBILLY 2
I call the Gay One!

20.
DAMIAN
(to Hillbilly 2)
I'm not gay! I'm Goth!
JOHN
(to the Hillbilly's)
Now gentleman you all seem like
intelligent reasonable people so I
am sure you have noticed this by
now, but there happens to be five
of you and six of us. So how about
you all the rape the others and let
me go free?
EDWARD
(to John)
Dude!
JOHN
(to Edward)
What? I mean there's not point in
all of us getting raped right?
HILLBILLY 1
Sorry boys but you intruded on our
property so that means all of you
are getting what's coming to you.
(to the other Hillbilly's)
Now then let's decide who get's
who.
Damian slowly inches his way towards John.
DAMIAN
(whispering to John)
I have a pocket knife in mu backpocket. I need you to distract them
and then get it so I can set all of
us free.
JOHN
(whispering to Damian)
How am I supposed to distract them?
DAMIAN
(whispering to John)
I don't know. Just think of
something quickly.
JOHN
(thinking to himself)
Think, think! What could possibly
distract a group of child rapists?
(MORE)

21.
JOHN (CONTD)
(he pauses for a few
seconds)
That's it!
(out loud)
Hey is that Karan Brar out there?
Where?

HILLBILLY 5

HILLBILLY 3
Come on guys let's hurry before he
get's away!
All five hillbilly's run out of the shack at the same time.
DAMIAN
(to John)
Great job! How did you know that
would work?
JOHN
(to Damian)
Oh please Disney Channel is
basically PornHub for perverts.
DAMIAN
(to John)
Well hurry and grab the knife from
my back-pocket.
JOHN
(to Damian)
How am I supposed to do that if my
hands are tied?
DAMIAN
(to John)
You use your mouth dumb-ass.
JOHN
(to Damian)
Whoa whoa Damian I know you're into
that stuff but... I'm straight.
DAMIAN
(to John)
What are you... Whatever just hurry
up and do it!
JOHN
(to Damian)
Damian that's like gay, like really
gay.

22.
DAMIAN
(to John)
Would you rather be gay or dead?
A few moments of silence go by.
JOHN
(to Damian)
Can I have a minute to think about
that?
HILLBILLY 1
(from off-screen)
Hey I don't see Karan Brar
anywhere!
DAMIAN
(to John)
There's no time! Just hurry up and
get the key from my back-pocket!
JOHN
(to Damian)
Fine but you better not enjoy this.
John closes his eyes and slowly lowers his head towards
Damian's back-pocket. Meanwhile two kids walk by the window
of the shack and look in.
KID 1
(to Kid 2)
Hey is that John?
KID 2
(to Kid 1)
Yeah and he's with a few other kids
from our school.
KID 1
(to Kid 2)
What are they doing?
KID 2
(to Kid 1)
Who cares all I know is that it's
YouTube gold!
Kid 2 takes out his iphone and starts recording what's going
on in the shack. John is still trying to get the knife from
Damian's back pocket. After failing a few times he finally
gets the knife in his teeth and he brings his head back up.

23.
DAMIAN
(to John)
Great! Now use the knife to set me
free!
John lowers his head to where Damian's arms are tied and
starts to move his mouth up and down to cut the rope. The
camera then switches to the view of the kids outside where it
looks like John is humping Damian.
DAMIAN (CONTD)
(while John is cutting)
Yes! Yes! You're almost there!
Don't give up yet, you almost have
it!
The rope finally breaks and Damian is set free. Damian grabs
the knife from John's mouth and begins to cut him free.
JOHN
(to Damian while he is
cutting his ropes)
That was the Gayest thing I have
ever had to experience in my life.
Damian starts to cut the other boys free.
DAMIAN
(to John while cutting
everyone free)
Who cares were free aren't we? Plus
it's not like anyone is ever going
to see what just happened.
EDWARD
Come on guys let's get out of here.
The boys start to get up but then the five hillbilly's block
there way.
HILLBILLY 1
Well well well, I didn't see Karan
Brar out there.
JOHN
(to Hillbilly 1)
Well he is Indian so maybe you
should check 7-11.
HILLBILLY 3
Hey that's a good... Wait a minute
you're trying to trick us!

24.
HILLBILLY 5
We're going to have a good time
with all of you.
JOHN
(whispering to the rest of
the boys)
Don't worry guys I have a plan.
John pushes Oliver to the floor.
Run!

JOHN (CONTD)

EDWARD
(confused)
What?
JOHN
You heard me I said cheese it!
John runs off screen and the other boys follow. The
Hillbilly's follow them to the door.
HILLBILLY 2
Damnabbit they got away!
The Hillbilly's turn around and look at Oliver on the floor.
HILLBILLY 4
(to Oliver)
We're going to have a lot of fun
with you!
The Hillbilly's start to surround Oliver
OLIVER
(as the Hillbilly's are
surrounding him)
Wait guys come back!
The camera cuts to the boys on the outskirts of Hillbilly
field catching there breath.
JOHN
Is everyone okay?
EDWARD
(to John)
Dude we just left Oliver behind!

25.
JOHN
(to Edward)
It's fine he was fat and had
asthma. He was an eyesore and a
burden to humanity.
EDWARD
(to John)
We have to call for help! He could
be in serious trouble!
JOHN
(to Edward)
Well Edward as nice that would be,
that also means we would get
grounded.
EDWARD
(to John)
Who cares about getting grounded we
have to save him!
JOHN
(to all)
Fine how we about we take a group
vote. Raise your hand if you think
we should leave Oliver behind.
Everyone besides Edward raises there hands.
EDWARD
How could you guys not care about
him!
JACOB
I have already gotten grounded
three times this month.
JAMAL
Yeah if I get grounded again my mom
will take my Xbox away.
DAMIAN
I'm not getting grounded for that
fat fuck.
JOHN
Alright the people have spoken, now
let's go home and pretend this
never happened.
Everyone starts to walk away besides Edward who stands there
looking shocked.

26.
EDWARD
What the fuck just happened!
SCENE 9 INSIDE THE CLASSROOM
The scene fades in the classroom where John is sitting in his
seat. The seat next him where Oliver used to sit and the seat
where Edward sits are empty. The other kids are standing
around the classroom talking and giggling while glancing at
John.
THE PRINCIPAL
(over the loudspeaker)
Would John, Damian, Jacob, and
Jamal in Mrs.Suakacock's class
please come to the principals
office imminently.
Damian, Jacob, and Jamal start to get out of there seats and
walk towards the door.
JOHN
(to himself)
Ah fuck.
The boys leave the room and walk down the hallway where the
kids in the hallway whisper and giggle to each other as they
walk past them. They arrive at the principals office, open
the door and see the principal at her desk with a serious
look on her face and Edward sitting next to her with a
serious face. There are four empty seats lined up in front of
her desk.
THE PRINCIPAL
Take a seat boys.
The boys all sit in the four seats lined up in front of her
desk.
THE PRINCIPAL (CONTD)
Now I'm sure you all know why you
are here... Why is there a video
titled "Damian and John Fuck While
Others Watch" on YouTube?
What?

DAMIAN, EDWARD, AND JOHN

THE PRINCIPAL
Well care to give me an answer?

27.
EDWARD
(to The Principal)
Shouldn't you be talking to them
about Oliver?
THE PRINCIPAL
(to Edward)
Nonsense there is no way these boys
know anything about Oliver going
missing. I want to find out more
about this video.
JOHN
(to The Principal)
May I see that video if you don't
mind?
The Principal hands over her iphone with the video on it. The
video plays and it shows the boys tied up in the shack from
the night before. It shows John trying to get the key out of
Damian's pocket but it appears that he is sniffing his butt.
Then it shows John trying to cut Damian free but it appears
that he is humping him, as this is happening Damian says
things such as "Yes! Yes!" as mentioned earlier in the
script.
THE PRINCIPAL
(to Damian)
Now Damian I know you are Gay but
that does not give you an excuse to
post inappropriate videos online!
DAMIAN
(to The Principal)
I'm not Gay! I'm Goth!
THE PRINCIPAL
Now I want all of you boys to
apologize for posting this online.
DAMIAN, JACOB, JAMAL, AND JOHN
We're sorry.
Good.

THE PRINCIPAL

EDWARD
Wait they left Oliver behind in the
shack! He was there with us all
night! They know where he is!

28.
THE PRINCIPLE
(to Edward)
Well I don't see Oliver in this
video.
EDWARD
(to The Principle)
That's because he is in the shadows
where you can't see him!
THE PRINCIPAL
Well boys do you know anything
about Oliver going missing?
No ma'm.

DAMIAN, JACOB, JAMAL, AND JOHN

THE PRINCIPAL
(to Edward)
Now Edward no one likes a liar.
Yeah!

JOHN

THE PRINCIPAL
(to Edward)
Now apologize for lying.
JOHN
(to Edward)
Yeah Edward apologize.
EDWARD
Apologize! You know what no! I'm
done with this shit!
Edward starts to walk toward the door.
THE PRINCIPAL
(to Edward)
You get back here this instant
young man!
Edward walks out and slams the door behind him.
JOHN
(to himself while rolling
his eyes)
So immature.

29.