ABOUT THE AUTHOR Fr. Amedeo Cencini was born in 1948. He entered the Congregation of the Canossian Sons of Charity, popularly called ‘Canossian Fathers’ and was ordained Priest in 1971. After his Seminary studies in Philosophy and Theology, he graduated in the Science of Education from the Salesian University in 1975, and in Psychology from the Gregorian University, Rome in 1979. At present he is Rector of the Major Seminary of the Canossian Fathers in Verona, Italy. He is also Professor of Psychology at the ‘Theo- logical Studies’, San Zeno, Verona, at the Institute for Ecumenical Studies, San Bernar- dino, and at the School of Theology of the Congregation for Religious; Rome. He is specialised in the integration of Psychol- ogy and the Spiritual life, and on this topic he has given conferences in Italy, Brazil, Argentina, Chile, USA, India, Hong Kong, the Philippines, Australia, Singapore, Africa and Japan. Rs. 25.00 Amedeo Cencini GOS ANOA GaOT 3HL JAOT TIVHS NOAYOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD Psychology of Encountering GodThe Series PSYCHOLOGY AND FORMATION Edited by A. Cencini and A, Manenti For the one who believes that life must have a meaning, Psychology, like any other Science that studies Man and his behaviour, cannot but insist on the theme of values and of ideals, as well as on the advance of research, in order to be able to discover and live these. This is the aim of this series: to. present not merely a description of phenomena, but, also, a research on the structures and dynamics of the human psyche, in order to demonstrate how these can be channelled to promote a greater mental health, and even a more mature life of faith. 1. Cencini A. and Manenti A.— Psychology and Formation (Structures and Dynamics) 2. Cencini A.—To Live Reconciled (Psychological Aspects) A,—You shall Love the Lord your God (The Psychology of Encountering God) 3. Cenci YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD Psychology of Encountering God BY AMEDEO CENCINI ST. PAUL PUBLICATIONSImprimatur: W. Nazareth Vicar General of Bombay 27-6 - 1988 Original Title: Amerai il Signore Dio tuo Edizioni Dehoniane Bologna, Tealy, 1986 For sale in Asia and Africa only © Daughters of St Paul Printed by N. Maliakel at St Paul Press Training School, 143 Waterfield Road, Bandra, Bombay and published by the Daughters of St Paul, Bandra, Bombay 400 050, 1988 PRESENTATION This book You Shall Love the Lord Your Go Psychology of Encountering God, is presented from the beginning as a singular and significant work in its field. Tt is, meant above all for the believers, consecrated or laity, in- volved in a journey of human and spiritual growth, Secondly, it is directed to every person, interested in the integral development of oneself and the society in which ‘one is inserted, and is desirous to coneretise the fullness of oneself, and a fruitful mission without undue, crippled reductionism. The author proposes directly and indirectly an answer, which on its turn suggests further questions that are widely diffused: “How to make life and faith meet positively, so that there will be a unification?” “How to live a life nou rished by faith in a way that is fruitful and incisive idually and socially?” Which way to trod in order to facilitate the growth of the person on the measure of his true identity, ie, of self-transcendence?” To answer to these and other questions which every person who wants to grow has, the author proposes an exploratory and purposeful itinerary. It is presented for a time and articulated in two moments: man in search of himself; man in search of his God. He deals with these ‘two processes that interact and are interrelated closely. One facilitates, and at the same time renders difficult the jour- ney of the other according to how it is lived. In the first itinerary one is helped to decifer how the process of seli- identification takes place. The results that are shown are based on the conditions of departure. Thus, there emerges the urgency of a selfdentification that allows an integral 5 | 1° You shalldevelopment of the whole person, not only at the corporeal and psychic level, but above all at the ontological level. The proposition of a vivifying encounter with the Word of God in the ordinariness of our existence concludes the itinerary. The author, while respecting the specificity of each, conjugates psychology and theology. He analyses some central aspects of the structure and functions of the person- ality, and of religiosity in view of an authentic integration of faith-life. It moves with an all-round concept of the person beyond the modality of current reductionism, juxtapositions and dichotomy. He shows how the journey of human and christian growth converges towards a gradual process of unification of oneself. This is expressed in a self-consistency, in the fruitfulness of life, in an ability to hold oneself flexible in front of the inevitable trials of life. It is the ability to love God and the other authenti- cally, integrally and completely that is the centre and the guiding criteria of a mature personality, whether it be a welkinserted religiosity in a personality, or becoming capable of promoting the person and the society along the adventures of life in which one is called The explanation of this itinerary follows a fluent and flowing style, with a colloquial language that melts con- cepts, which are at times difficult, Therefore, it is a straight explanation that is easily understandable. Con- frontations of one’s life with what is proposed comes immediately. ‘The result is an itinerary that is presented as enlighten- ing in many situations of life that one lives or faces and which stimulates a commitment of self on the individual and group level. In fact, it deals with a fruitful encounter between psychology and spiritual life on the level of life, which is to-be encouraged through mediations as. this instrument. Guiseppe Sovernigo PART ONE MAN IN SEARCH OF HIMSELF To know oneself is a necessity and a duty from which no one can escape. Man needs to know who he is. He can- not live if he does not discover the meaning of his life, He runs the risk of being unhappy if he does not recognise his dignity. Hence, we can say that we are in search of “our- selves” every day: it is a constant search even if uncon- scious at times, often ‘wearisome and seemingly contra dictory ...and certainly neverending... It is right that it should be like this: identity is not a biological data entered in the chromosomes and easily detected; neither is it simply a truth to be contemplated and believed in, more or less in a static and passive way. If anything at all, it is a goal to be reached, a very personal vocation to be achieved. In fact, we may know what we are and sense what we are called to be, but we shall only have discovered 7“self” when we actually live all these. If this process of looking for our “self” passes through doubts, uncertainties or even a real identity crisis, there are always good reasons for hoping that our search, if it is honest and ardent, will be rewarded. ‘These “good reasons” are the motive and subject of analysis in these pages. CHAPTER ONE INSECURITY AND A NEGATIVE IMAGE OF “SELF” “ have little trust in myself...” “I am not sure of my- self...” "I am always afraid of not succeeding. ...” These are different expressions of one and the same problem, ic. insecurity. One hears phrases like these more and more frequently even within our own environment. They are accompanied by an attitude of inevitable resignation, al- most as if there was nothing else to be done, and they are assuaged only by the feeling that they deal with a “common ailment", This fecling is not at alll isolated. The well known research carried out by Fr. Rulla reveals that 75% of priests and religious “suffer” from too little self esteem. Clinical therapy does nothing more than confirm this impressive fact which is found also among lay people. The matter seems and indeed is strange. We live in a world that has stubbornly claimed absolute authority over man in the management of his own life. And our vocation reminds us that God “has put His trust” in us; that He has laid Himself open to risk, by entrusting us with the task of proclaiming Him; how is it then, that 3/4 of these “trusted people” feel interiorly negative and conse- quently insecure? And yet, by the very fact of our being authentic persons and religious, we ought to have a basic trust in ourselves. In fact, one who feels “incapable” can- not even think of leading his life in an original and courageous way, nor can he think of “losing” himself in the evangelical sense if he is not secure enough within. In 9short, living and feeling inadequate at living, becomes indeed a problem, 1, Insecurity denied: the “boasters” Insecurity is such a problem that the subject often prefers to ignore it by attempting alternative paths in order to be at least able to live without hurt, Here be- Jow, for example, are two ways of living the problem of insecurity which are directly opposed to each other: that of denying it and that of putting up with it. They re- present two life-styles that are completely different. We shall rather overdo our description of them in their ori nal state in order to emphasise their fundamental charac- teristics. In real life things differ from case to case but the problem remains the same, ‘the first way of “resolving” (so to say) the problem of insecurity is to deny it. This is the way chosen by the “boasters”. With regard to self, the “boaster” seems to suffer particularly from his natural limitations (of quality, virtue, behaviour) which are inseparable from the human condition and must be accepted. He is afraid of himself, of his negative zone. He is afraid of finding who-knows- what within himself and so he decides that it docs not exist. His whole life becomes a constant and more or less desperate attempt to ignore this internal, black-marked area. It is an attempt that might be partly successful but which above all else leaves the personality troubled and insecure. In fact, one fears more of what one docs not know and the logical consequence is: the more fear there is, the more the sense of insecurity. ‘These types are, therefore, interiorly weak and uncons- ciously fearful, but they cannot say it to themselves, and so to the outside world they present the contrary. They are the ones “who never make a mistake” and instead they are always ready to attribute faults and responsibilities to others and to “structures”. If they are “caught in the act” 10 they become terribly angry but in the end they always succeed in showing that they had a valid reason. In effect, it is very difficult to induce them to accept a real plan of formation or stimulate them to a critical analysis of self. The necessary foundation is lacking, that is, the courage to admit their own shortcomings. They do not know how to make an examination of conscience. They say it is for children; they do not need it...but in reality they are afraid of it. Their consideration of themselves thus appears in their own eyes to be totally optimistic: with an evident sense of omnipotence and a tacit pretence of absolute positivity. They are in reality perpetually dissatisfied, and even though they do not let it be seen, they are profoundly sad. In relation to others this ambiguity has various mani. festations. Since the “boaster” is dominated by a negative perception of self which is unconscious and unbearable, relating with others serve not only to deny but also to contradict such: a perception. The behavioural principle which is naturally unconscious, is this: “the more T dominate, the more I am someone.” The person, in fact, needs to dominate, to place himself above the others. He cannot be content to be one among many, and the more he is on top, the more he deceives himself that he is positive. He is not very subtle in the means he uses, For example, he has an innate sense of competition: he perceives all interpersonal relationships against a light of exasperated confrontation, subtle envy, conflict pushed to the extremes (all expressions of basic insecurity). He is the classic type who perceives differences from others as an attack on his own security, so he attacks directly or indirectly. In the community or in the family in which he lives there is almost always some poor “ugly duckling” to. blame, someone responsible for having a characteristic or quality that reminds him of his own limitations, and who is therefore, to be attacked and rejected. He is a kind of “pirate” in the community. Or "another possible variant, he makes a circle of devotees and allies and becomes their “godfather”. Even the apostolate of the insecure “boaster” has to obey the “laws of maintaining and supporting his self image”, that is, the apostolic actions must guarantee him a sense of positiveness. It is logical that it should be like this: when one does not feel secure “within” the realm of one’s own value, one has to “demand” security from the out side, from the results of what one does and from what the others think of him, In fact, the more one feels un- consciously insecure, the more one needs to be reassured and successful. In this way, one’s life and apostolate are reduced on the one hand to an anxious search for applause, and on the other, to a desperate escape from failure. One cannot accept failure because it would be a ruthless con- firmation of that negative sphere of self that one does not want to acknowledge. Hence, even the apostolate is carried out in function of one's “self”, a “self” which is in no way ready to sacrifice itself. The “boaster” will be ready to crack everything except himself. He cannot accept the idea of “losing him- self” for the Kingdom, to break himself for another. How could he lose himself if he has not yet found himself? How can one take the risk if he is not sure of himself? If the apostle does not reach the point of losing himself, what contribution can he give to the building up of the Kingdom? It would be useless, and so his problem remains. 2. Insecurity endured: the “timid” The other way, which is exactly the opposite to the first, is to live one's insecurity by never doing anything to react against it. It is the position of the so-called “timid” people. These have the advantage, at least theoretically, of recognising their own insecurity, but they restrict themselves solely to crying over it. They put up with it, and endure it. They perceive only the negative aspects of their personality. They understand their positive aspects 2 very little or insufficiently and without appreciating their significance. This is the point: it is not that one does not know how to see, it is the fact that in one’s conception of self, the accidental qualities that are lacking (eg. not having some artistic, talent or particular abilities with regard to work or expression) occupy greater importance, because one would like to have them. Less importance is given to the essential realities (eg. the reality of one’s own vocation, whatever it may be, or the gift of life and the ability to love, etc.) which one has but does not know how to appreciate adequately. In other words, they do not know how to perceive sufficiently the positive aspects of their personality as being significant and central to their being. In the long run they give greater stress and importance to the negative aspects in “self” evaluation, Hence, the person feels inadequate. He is afraid of failing and closes up. It is a vicious circle because the more he feels insecure the more he closes up, and the more he closes up the more he feels insecure. This feeling of insecurity- inadequateness extends gradually to all areas of life even to the spiritual life where the feeling of inadequacy is easily confused with humility. Thus oppressed by his own limits, the person finds himself a prisoner of his sense of guilt or endless feriority complexes. This does not mean that he knows how to acknowledge them in front of others or that he is always ready to endure everything. Perhaps he keeps quiet and swallows it for a while but then explodes with great fury, and even with physiological symptoms (sweat- ing, trembling, hot flushes in the face, etc.) But these are incidental explosions, Normally the insecure “timid” per- son tends to close up; isolates himself and only comes out eventually in order to hide himself in some small group clan, perhaps under the protection of some “boast- er". While this allows him to live in an uninvolved manner by relegating tasks and responsibilities to others, it also gives him the opportunity of putting himself in a com fortable position from where he can criticise because he 13is not exposed, and from where he can project his sense of guilt and inadequacy onto others. He even justifies his lack of involvement by playing the “victim”. The “timid” person’s apostolate is clearly colourless. ‘This mixture of pessimism-victimism and uninvolved at- titude, colours his life and negatively affects his becom. ing a living sign of the love of God. It easily becomes a “defensive” apostolate under the banner of sparing, as a protection for an already weak self that does not want to run any more risks. He is paralysed by the fear of failure. In any case his proclamation will not be enthusiastic and ardent, one that passes through the sacrifice of self, Every tension is accurately eliminated. What remains, however, is the deep uneasiness of an insecurity which the “timid” person endures and by which, in the long run, he risks being crushed. It is clear that no one finds himself entirely in only one of these two “types” described in their pure state. Most probably we recognise ourselves in some of the characteristics of both. In life most of us move like a pendulum between these two attitudes. With some: per- sons, situations, and environments, we deny our insecu- rity; with others, we endure it, And in the meantime the basic problem of our negative self-perception remains. How can we resolve it? 3, The crisis of identity and identity of the crisis It is difficult to live with an inner feeling of inadequa- . Life becomes complicated as every task can become irksome and every interpersonal relationship_a potential threat that puts one’s self-image in question. The insecure person, in fact, consciously or unconsciously perceives himself in a negative way, even if he often assumes an external behaviour showing just the contrary. Consequently, if he wishes to resolve his problem, he must, above all, be sincere with himself and understand that some of his ways of acting are only a mask hiding a different and “ more profound reality; in a word, he must try to discover the true motivating thrust behind his behaviour, Thus, for example, the insecure “timid” person who, as a te- action becomes envious or at times aggressive, does not simply fail in charity. Or when he is usually reserved and discreet, it does not necessarily mean he wishes to be humble, instead, it could be a way of preserving his self. image or avoiding a dangerous failure. In the same way, the insecure “boaster” who feels urged to dominate, will not resolve his problem simply by acknowledging himself to be proud (if he does!) be- cause one who really has a negative image of himself cannot be said to be proud. Both the “timid” person and the “boaster” assume “compensatory” attitudes which increase their discomfort; and above all, they run the risk of turning their attention from the internal con- flict which is at the root of their insecurity. In reality one is dealing with an identity conflict, and insecurity is only one of its consequences. The timid and the boastful are simply two exemplifications from the heart of a real problem which all of us experience in one way or another: identity crisis. 8CHAPTER TWO LEVELS OF IDENTITY It is a fundamental need of man to have a correct idea of his own “self”, inasmuch as correct means realistic and firmly positive. It is very difficult and frustrating to live with a negative sense of one’s identity or to have re- course to illusory compensations in order to “restore” such positivity. Only a correct idea of one’s self renders possible a serene acceptance of self and one’s limits. When this is lacking the individual is continually afflicted by a profound sense of personal dissatisfaction. A solid and substantially positive self identity is essential espe- cially for those who bear the message of faith to. man- kind —faith in God and in man himself. Let us now see what self-identity really means, that is, at what levels and at what measures it is possible to identify oneself. 1. Corporeal level The first theoretical possibility of selfidentity is to refer to one’s body, that is, to something which is im- mediately perceptable, characterised by determined bodily expressions, precise physical abilities and aesthetic: quali- ties. This is the most obvious and elementary moment in the psychological sequence of self-identification. Even a child can identify himself at this level. It seems, however, that many adults do not know how to go beyond this level: their idea of self remains completely or partially limited within the confines of their corporeal individuality which is naturally “charged” with excessive importance when it is the only privileged environment specifying their own identity. Hence, there is exaggerated worry that their body be healthy -beautiful- strong-young, and great in tolerance towards eventual aesthetic defect, possible infirmity or inevitable progressive organic decline... Seeing that today we live in a world which puts great emphasis on this type of identification, it should not surprise us to find traces of it in each one of us. I say “traces” because it is unthinkable that such a level be the only possibility of self-identity for a person who has dis- covered certain values. But there are traces and they are ever more evident, such as excessive attention to one’s external “appearance” at the level of dress (becoming like "models", or of more or less presumed aesthetic qualities (running the risk of ending up like Narcissus who was drowned in his own image as he was trying to contemplate his beauty in a reflection); or a rather naive and some- times ridiculous anxiety about not showing signs of grow- ing old; or excessive care for one’s health (becoming healthcaring religious—a bad sickness). On the other hand, there is refusal or non-acceptance of whatever might dim the health - beauty- youthfulness of their body. It is not very rare to find people or even religious who be- come demanding if they are ill or who do not know how to grow old... It may also depend on a fixation at this stage of self-identification. 2, Psychic level This level interests us much more. It is a further possi- bility of defining oneself: it is obtained by referring to one’s gifts and talents, the so called “richness of being”, eg. one’s L.0., the ability to express oneself in a certain role, affirmation in work ot even correct behaviour or moral perfection. Here the person puts the emphasis on what he has and what he hopes to gain by “his own” efforts. Undoubtedly it is a level higher than the former, and less superficial: in fact, from this point of observation, an” 2 You shallthe person becomes aware of what distinguishes him not only from inferior beings but also from his equals and of what gives originality and positive meaning to his person. Nonetheless, it presents notable risks: the most funda. mental being that of restricting the significance of his own self to some particular aspects which are not even the most important ones. Consequently, when an individual identifies himself prevalently at this level, he will be so aware of his possibilities and various potentials that he will look for his self-identity only or prevalently in this direction, He feels that he is the supreme author of it, as if all he possesses were his own merit and he were creator and master of himself and his destiny. Let us analyse what happens in this type of selfidentification. a. Talent as a source of identity The store of gifts and personal qualities assume above all a fundamental importance: they are the source of identity. The “psychic” person places in them his hopes of positivity. He feels he is someone and accepts himself only if he sees he has certain talents or is sure of succeed- ing well in several things. Consequently, his dignity and Jovability are not an objective, certain and stable fact: they depend on the presence or the lack of these qualities. ‘On the basis of these he will either feel he is nothing or a superman. Even from a vocational point of view his identity will assume the shape of his abilities: it will be those and only those that suggest and programme the choice of his state of life, profession and perhaps also, at least indirectly, the values and criteria on which he builds his life. Talent’ as a source of identity will also become a natural and insurmountable limit for his fulfilment. To act and choose only on the basis of the criteria “I am able —I am unable” is to kill one's aspirations and qualities. It will be very difficult for one who lives like this, to ask for more than one is certain of being able to do; one can- not permit oneself the luxury of risking one’s image of attempting to carry out new and difficult initiatives ® courageously. Being one’s self for this person means, nothing more than expressing and repeating more or less wearily one’s own talents. b. Dependence on role On the other side a dangerous situation of imbalance results from an overevaluation of personal talent. ‘The individual risks becoming more or less dependent on a series of realities almost without being aware of it. This is especially true of role and environment which guarantee him the possibility of expressing himself in a certain fashion: now leaning on a dead body, now identifying with it exactly. It is as if his personality were steeped in his role with the long term risk of losing his originality and being suffocated. Paradoxically, it is the case of the “role-player” who persuades himself that he not only finds in his role the occasions to express his ability but even the possibility of being and affirming himself. He puts it on like a suit and does not take it off anymore. Therefore he cannot be moved from his work or his post: he is not ready at all to “sacrifice” his talents, that is, to give up using any of. them even partially or for a short while. Yet we know well that the normal circumstances of life, or the scale of values freely chosen by those who are consecrated to God, may at times require this type of availability and renunciation in view of a greater good or for the good of the Kingdom, It is very difficult for such people to have this interior freedom. Thanks to such a sac- rifice that often a person discovers he is able and gifted in other areas which open up new and unthought-of perspec- tives. On the contrary, when role and professional activity give identity, one becomes, sooner or later, simply a worker with little creativity and even less freedom to be oneself. ©. Extreme need of positive results If it is the role that gives identity to a person he will feel “condemned” to have success or at least some little 19embellishment of one’s face; rather it is none other than ethical-moral self-fulfilment that allows one to feel better than others and not a gift of God for the good of all, Thus daily experience of sin, while it breaks down all pretence and doubt, becomes frustrating and creates in the indi ual a strange sense of guilt which is not due to sincere displeasure at having offended the love of God but to the disappointment-anger at discovering oneself to be imper- fect. Even here there are two possible alternatives which only ‘seem to be in contrast to each other: either perfec- tionist tension towards unattainable ideals which end up hiding scruples, rigid behaviour, disillusions and depres- sions; or, on the contrary, the presumption of being with- out fault or of having only some slight imperfections — so slight that they do not cause any crisis and allow one to continue feeling superior to others, to the “poor sinners” This misleading way of perceiving holiness can lead to a loss or deformation of the awareness of sin. Instead of understanding sin as deeply rooted in the heart, one will simply identify it with behavioural transgressions of a certain code of moral conduct and not experience it as the ingratitude of a son towards his Father. Hence he will feel at peace with his conscience because he has not committed anything serious.... But in each case, the most serious consequence is that such an incapacity of recognising and accepting his own guilt, prevents him from feeling the need of mercy, from man and from God and so he is deprived of the special Christian experience of divine forgiveness. f. Inferiority complex Meanwhile, within the person a dangerous sensation of personal negativity is born and grows and this can turn out to be a real inferiority complex. This is another pos- sible risk when one identifies oneself in this way. No one has all the qualities of expression, of action, intellectual or moral! Nobody's life is a chain of successes! But even if this could be so, man would not be able to resolve the pro- blem of his esteem; his life would become a race forever 2 fragile after successes and results without ever having the feeling of finally arriving and attaining the assurance of his positive being. He will always have the impression of having to begin all over again each time and of never satisfying his need to feel worthy of esteem. He is like one who quenches his thirst continuously and still has. the impression that he is dying of thirst. Why? It’s simple: because man is made in a certain way, according to certain Jaws and exigencies which cannot be ignored especially if one responds to needs that are inscribed in his nature. Basically, psychology states: man will never find himself through an excessive search for himself and he will never satisfy his need for esteem by making it the immediate aim of his action, even less by deluding himself that others can resolve his interior problems which is up to him to face. This is why applause and approval, triumphs and praises, can never be a thirst-quenching water! In spite of all he might receive, he might always have in his heart a doubt that he doesn't deserve them, or the fear of not being what appears on the outside, or the anguish of not being able to provide always a performance at that level, or the grow- ing need for a daily ration of praise and encouragement. Thus the individual does not even enjoy for a moment those successes or promotions or else he enjoys them for a short time, only to find himself battling again and dreaming of winning. He lives in constant tension, compli- cating his life and that of those around him. He demands the most of himself and has a mania for competitive con- frontation with others. If he loses the confrontation he experiences jealousy and envy those “lucky ones” who have more gifts than he and, depression and anger with himself. &. Error of distraction It is well to remember that all this (perfectionist tension, rivalry, envy, etc.) is psychic energy that could find a healthier expression within the picture of the individual's interests and values. It is precious energy, which the apostle, for example, could use for an invigorating and 2Bpassionate proclamation of the Kingdom, and instead he wastes it, even unwittingly by making life difficult for himself and for others, The real reason for the “waste”, that is, the real identity of the crisis, is this defect of self-identity. It has restricted the sense of self to aspects which, though important and characteristic of a person, do not constitute an essential structure. It has linked the value of self to the uncertain fortunes of personal qualities which are then denied by facts or demand too high a price for their fulfilment. Yet ‘we must admit it, each one of us is tempted to identify himself and in fact does identify himself at the psychic level at least in a small way. Inasmuch as we are “psychic” men, passion for the Kingdom becomes tension —pre- occupation for ourselves and dynamic enthusiasm for the proclamation is corrupted to passive self-centredness. Pethaps this is the everlasting sin of man; he wants to be like God (Adam) and wants to reach heaven with his constructions (Babel); and he condemns his soul because he sees that he cannot make it, He does not realise what he is already and the “hope” he bears within him. Without any doubt it is more a sin of distraction than of pride, it is a sin of lack of self-knowledge. It is important to dis- cover the reasons for this hope. 3. Ontological level The corporeal and psychic levels then are not sufficient in themselves to give man an adequate sense of himself. However important they be, they alone cannot satisfy the basic need of having a substantial and stable positive sense of one's identity. To guarantee this, it is necessary to descend to a level more profound and constitutive. In other words, it is-not enough for man to know he possesses many gifts; he needs to know for whom and why he uses them, in what way and for what motives. It is a matter of anchoring one’s identity to more “radical” contents, that is, those offered by the ontological level. 4 At this level one defines oneself for what one is and for what one is called to be. In more precise terms: the per- son discovers and builds his identity around the relation- ship between his actual self with its relative needs and potentialities and his ideal self with its objective values and aims. It is no longer simply what one has, that decides one's positivity, but what one is in the depth of one’s actual and ideal identity as men, as believers and as con- secrated persons. The actual self and ideal self are the two structural elements of this type of self-identification. To identify oneself at the ontological level in particular it is necessary: —to have both these components present. Man in fact, cannot be considered only in the context of his needs; a person who wants to avoid the call of objective values would no longer be a man, But it should also be said that such a call does not fall in a vacuum, The human being, as such, possesses positive potentialities that enable hit to respond efficaciously to this objective call. Besides this, one needs to find: —the correct balance between these two components. There must be a difference between what we think we are and what we feel we should be. The actual self and the ideal self cannot be identified nor interchanged con- fusedly; in this case, that beneficial tension towards precise values which put our psychic dynamism in motion would be lacking. On the other hand the distance between the two contents must not be so great and beyond achievement as to frustrate the natural tendency of the human being towards growth and maturation. It must. be an optimal distance, that is realistic and within reach of the actual self. The distance between actual self and ideal self is optimal when on the one hand it is pursiuable and ac- cessible and on the other, it preserves the nature of the ideal value which in itself is never completely attainable. Hence, on the one hand, it is such that it exercises a strong attraction which provokes the person to develop 25and taste— know the ideal more and more — and on the other hand, it progressively reveals its demands and presents an ever greater challenge to the individual. Opti- mal distance is defined as a relationship of dynamic equilibrium within these two couples of opposites: acces- sible-unattainable, attractive-demanding. But it is important to remember that it is not a static but progressive equilibrium: the more I draw close to the value, the more I am aware that it is beyond me; the more I taste it, the more I perceive its demands. It is not always easy to obtain this correct balance. In the two cases we have described above, for example, such an optimal distance does not exist. The “boaster” elimi- nates it immediately, Sure as he is of himself, he maintains that he does everything well that he is perfect or almost so and he does not even realise that he is confusing what hhe is with what he should be. His actual self is artifi- cially blown up to hide the mistrust he has in himself, while his ideal self is practically non-existent and there is no tension as regards the values. On the contrary, in the selfidentity of the “timid” person, the distance be- tween the two components is insurmountable: the oft proclaimed value becomes something unattainable on the part of the person who feels incapable, guilty and ever frustrated. His actual self is crushed by the exaggerated expectation of the ideal self. In reality it is as if it didn’t exist. The result, in both cases, is laziness in the concept of identity from which derives insecurity which is denied by one and tolerated by other. They both reveal this by means of the same static situation: they never move towards the values; the “boaster” because he thinks he has already arrived and the “timid” person because he despairs of ever arriving. We shall now see how it is possible to “move” towards a healthy concept of self with respect to the condition given above. 2% a, Actual self: a seed of positivity Above all, one needs to “recover” a potentially positive sense of the actual self. I have said “recover” and not acquire or gain because within us there already exists a radical positivity at least at the potential level. Pethaps we should rediscover or make it fully emerge as we have forgotten it or do not believe in it enough. However in every case we do have it and it belongs to us by right — it is not something we have to gain or beg for. It is therefore not necessary to look for it outside ourselves, in the esteem of others or in situations of gratification and success, but within ourselves, in what is an essential part of our human and Christian identity. Already at the merely human level, for example, this potential positivity is evident. Every man possesses ex- tremely precious energy; he is able to love, to develop a passion for things, to forget himself in giving himself to another; he is able to perform good works, to give life creatively to something meaningful, indicated by his unre- peatable and unmistakable originality. It is true that this same man can distort this energy: he can love and find fulfilment in an egoistic and destructive way, but the fact remains that he has the capacity to love and be creative in a constructive and oblative way in view of very specific values. And we note carefully that if these ability-energies are available to every human being, they constitute a call which no one can evade. How rich and less monotonous life would be if we had the courage to be creative! I mean that daily, discreet, simple and often silent creativity which is shown in little things and in one’s daily work by bringing novelty to it and breaking the routine. Such a personality always has little need of external grati- fication (fame, praise, etc.) simply because it already con: tains in itself the reason for profound gratification: that man has been given the possibility of offering something of self to reality, by revealing the uniqueness and singularity nof his person. Such creativity is not a hobby, but a duty which gives value and colour to life, Without needing to do great and famous things it enriches the individual by al- lowing him to feel worthy of esteem. It does not matter if he does not have great gifts and does not possess certain talents. Nothing changes because he doesn’t have the 1.0. of a genius or doesn’t know how to charm people when hhe speaks or it is difficult for him to carry out certai tasks; and finally there is no scene made when he com- mits a mistake or realises, alas that there is someone better than himself. On the contrary, the more he dis- covers these seeds of radical positivity with the desire of being himself, the more he knows how to appreciate and use the special qualities that he, like every human being, has in an absolutely original way, and thus he does not spend all his life weeping over what he has not got! At the Christian level such esteem of self receives a new and precious confirmation. The knowledge of having been made in the image and likeness of God is the strongest and most significant guarantee of a positivity that is in scribed deeply in our beings from the beginning of our story, even if it is only a seed. It is a truth of faith that we all believe and from this we should spontaneously derive a positive idea of ourselves. How is it, then, that there are so many people, even among believers and con- secrated persons, who are insecure, dissatisfied and in search of an esteem of self which is ever more difficult to attain? I do not think that any truth of faith is in question. Perhaps the individual, without being aware of it, always gives more importance to certain qualities and ways of being which are socially approved and attract the esteem of others, and almost forgets the name that God has given him. It is as though it were not “enough” for him to be a son of God in order to feel positive. The truth of faith in this case, only touches his intelligence and doesn’t reach his heart and even less is it put into practice. It is believed but not enjoyed, more proclaimed than lived. This is why he has that feeling of frustration and dissatisfaction even 28 in the face of success, manifestations of esteem which, as we have already seen, give him an all too shortlived joy, and risk making him beg for something he already has Those who realise they have in themselves the traces of divine resemblance and enjoy them, discover the hope that their yearning for positivity can be fully satisfied. It is only a hope; it might also be contradicted and denied, but even in this case, with this hope in mind a person can continue to believe in himself and ask that his life be a complete reflection of that image, a progressive growth of that seed of positivity which Ihe received as a gift from 0 b. Ideal self: the fulfilment of positivity As we have already seen, a human being has positive potentialities in himself. He can tend to goodness, he knows how to use his life in a constructive way, he has a fund of energy which is a sign of the divine resemblance. But all this is not enough in life. Maturity is not built on simple tendencies; ability remains a theoretical fact until it is exercised. Energy needs to have a definite goal in order to be properly channelled. The actual self, in other words, is not sufficient to explain the whole of man, neither can it give him a complete and definitive sense of his identity. It is only a seed, a promise, a hope. It is something that may get corrupted, betrayed, misinterpreted and denied. This happens above all if the individual makes himself the absolute interpreter of his destiny and autonomous ad ministrator of this treasure by choosing goals and means. and creating rules and exceptions. He will then have the pleasing impression of feeling free and self-sufficient; mas- ter and creator of himself, but sooner or later he will in- evitably have to ask himself if he is realising his true self or chasing a ghost. ‘There is in every person without distinction a basic need which is not to be found in the list of needs produced in psychology manuals, but nonetheless everyone is called to consider it seriously. It is the need of revelation: a person »— needs 10 know who he is called to be. The question is so important and the answer so decisive that one cannot risk making a mistake of relying on common sense or wise syllogisms. He must accept not knowing and give up believing that everything is clear by looking at his affairs and experiences as if it were these that give him a name Man is one who stands before God (Pollano); his life is a gift; it is a path of which the creature knows neither the beginning nor the end. It is only He who has given life “in His own image and likeness” who can reveal to man the meaning and precise place he has to occupy in that life. This meaning and this precise place are the content of his ideal self. In it man finds himself and what he is called to be; he discovers his features and form just as they have been thought out by his creator. In the values that consti- tute his ideal self he does not glean from simple rules to be carried out or models to be copied but from the revel tion of self which is a reality to be internalised, 10 be made his own, to be enlivened in his own flesh... He reaches the stage where he does not find himself simply in what he is (actual self), but in what he is called to be, in that new man which God daily reveals to him and pa- tiently builds in him, This is Paul's experience: “I live now, not I, but Christ lives in me.” This is the experience of one who has discovered his real identity and lets it transform his life and become his true self. In practice, how does this revelation of the ideal self happen? — In the image of God. First of all there is a revelation of man that passes through the same revelation that God makes of himself. God is our Father and His image is deeply impressed in us. One cannot understand man outside of this relationship or without trying to understand the signs of this mysteri- ous but real similarity. In other words, the knowledge of man and his destiny is deeply bound to the knowledge of God and His creative will: the identity of man is “hidden” 30 in God. This is a principle which is full of consequences and has a profound importance for whatever refers to the problem of man’s identity. This means: — that in the revelation of God the human being finds or begins to discover his real self which is mysteriously veiled, and his ideal self, In fact, he will be fully himself only when he realises that picture of divine likeness which constitutes the true essence of his self. It is because of this that the prophet could say: “We are called by His name” Ger 149). — We could almost affirm that when God “speaks” of Himself He is also speaking of us in some way, because by our identity we are called to model ourselves on Him in a corresponding and almost complementary manner. If He is the Vine we are the branches; if He is the Good Shepherd we are His sheep; if He is the Living Water we shall quench our thirst at His fountain.... Jesus Himself says this making us understand that it would be illusory and misleading to use any other criteria to define man. — Another consequence of that wonderful reality is that the Word of God becomes the concrete environment and source of this revelation. The story of salvation is the history of the whole humanity; it tells us who we are, where we come from and where we are going. Everything God has “said” is an expression of His creative plan and His appeal is directed to all His creatures to conform to this plan. Every word that comes out of the Father's mouth is transformed — for the believer — into light which reveals his being to him, and into daily nourishment which nourishes his new life up to the day when this Word will be completely fulfilled. — In a particular following of Christ There is another personal and specific revelation which reaches us in our individuality and marks the definitive fulfilment of our identity. God has placed:in us a divine, unique and unrepeatable seed: it is a seed that we find in ourselves and in our story and in all the aspects of our 31others to resolve it for him. He accepts a call which pro- vokes him to give himself to others and to be less pre- occupied with his success or failure. This desire and ability to give oneself in a characteristic and original way is a charism: every man is a bearer of it. First of all there is a vocational-ideal charism which outlines the plan of self, the choice of a state in life (married or virgin, lay person or priest, etc.) with the values and aims connected with these. Then there are functionalactual charisms which concer the ways of being of the person which are at the service of that plan and of choice (eg. psychologial and moral qualities, or particular natural capacities that equip a person for a service). The vocational charism is linked to the ideal self; functional charism to the actual self. For example, those who have been called to the married life will be called to find their fulfilment in it and therefore, also to the source of their positivity, by living it as a gift to be shared with others. It is first shared with a person who has received the same charism and with whom he must realise a union of intentions, values, plans, the sense of giving life even before it becomes a physical union. To establish a family with another person means becoming gradually a gift for each other and together giving life to others, together bearing witness to a love that cannot re- main enclosed within the family circle. And this is already following Christ by living to the full the riches of one’s ‘own being and gifts. At the same time, though with different content, those who have received the charism of the priestly ministry or religious consecration are called to fulfil it. Since we wish to deepen our knowledge of the vocational dynamics of the believer who consecrates himself we shall go into de- tails. His vocational charism identifies itself with the charism of the institute to which he belongs. It is import. ant, therefore, to understand the meaning and function of this gift even psychologically: — The charism of an institute is not simply a collection Fo of traditions or a story of the past; it is not even a mys: tical event or a way of praying or of engaging in the apostolate or of living the obligations of religious life. Rather it is all these put together and above all enlivened by this profound conviction: the charism of my religious family is the definitive revelation of my ideal self; it is the name that God has given me; it is that specific resem. blance of God which I am called to express. In it T find myself and my vocation in a complete and precise way be- cause the charism is not and cannot be merely a general indication of a way of living or a vague ascetical-spiritual call; it is rather a detailed, precise proposal embracing all the aspects of my life, giving it an unmistakable colour. This is why it is essential to approach the charism, its history, the mystical experience of the Founder, the riches of tradition, etc. with an attitude of religious respect, sincere veneration and profound gratitude, That story is totally a gift of the Spirit: it is also a little of my own story or at least it offers me the key to interpret and de- cipher the mystery of myself. In the contents of the charism I discover the features that characterise my make-up, the features of that face which the Father has created and continues to create in me in the image of his Son, — The charism, as we have seen, means a gift which is for others and is to be shared with others. It is not for the good of the individual either psychologically or spiri ually. We are not consecrated to God to guarantee our salvation nor to delude ourselves of being able to reach perfection but to say yes to a call that always implies the good of others. The charism of every Institute originated out of a need to respond to special necessities, material or spiritual, of some category of persons, and is not under- standable without this thrust and attention towards the outside, Such sensitivity is the constitutive element and characteristic of the charismatic identity of any religious family. On the other hand, as we ‘shall see later on, the charism is an ideal to be lived with those who recognise themselves in it, not simply for making up a group or to 35organise a work better, but to reach a more complete and objective interpretation of the charism together. One lives in community because the gift of the Spirit is of necessity shared: it is thus that religious and human communities are born, their witness becomes efficacious and the charism is expressed in all its wealth by the contribution of each one. — In fact, the charism signifies a particular following of Christ. As such it is the natural fulfilment of “Let us make man in our own image and likeness.” It represents. the specific content of this likeness, identifying it in a parti- cular aspect of the person of Christ, image and sign of the substance of the Father (cf Heb 1:3). The person who chooses an institute discovers, through the gift of the Spirit, a harmony between his deepest self and his particular following of Christ; it is as if a mysteri- ous attraction made him recognise in that particular int tation of Christ his new identity, that self he is called to be and which is hidden with Christ in God (cf Col. 3:3). From that moment his commitment ia life is tw fulfil Uhis identification. His life, from both a psychological and spiritual point of view, is Christ (cf Phil 1:21) seen in that particular aspect. His identity has a precise point of reference, it is de- finitively saved from the continuous seductions of the cor- poreal and especially psychic levels which promise an easy positivity which they then cannot ensure. It is no longer bound to uncertain destinies of realities which are too fragile and unstable to give certainty to man. From the time a person discovers his ideal self in the charism and the way of following proposed by Christ, his self-esteem and identity are firmly rooted. It is a positive esteem which no one can take away. On the contrary, all the nervous tension previously caused by the anxious hope of feeling positive, is now lived in a completely different way, as a free person, He does not renounce the riches of his psychic and corporeal To levels, in fact, it would not be right or possible; but he interprets and rearranges them by giving them new mean- ing in line with his charism, He can no longer think of himself outside of it. 4, Metapsychical level Strictly speaking, it is not a matter of a new phase in the process of self-identification: we are still on the onto- logical level. Anyone who identifies himself at this level inevitably enters into this kind of subphase which we have called metapsychical. Literally, the term means: “be- yond the psychic”. In effect at this point of his path of identification, the person recovers and reassumes totally his own psychic reality of gifts, qualities, etc. but he perceives — evaluates — expresses them from a new point of view: that of his identification at the ontological level, which goes absolutely beyond a psychic interpretation as we have already seen, Let us see more carefully some of the characteristics of this understanding beyond the psychic. — First of all a new hierarchy of values is created in the life of the individual. It is exactly the same hierarchical relationship which exists between actual-functional char- isms and ideal-vocational charisms. More precisely, what ap- pears to be more important and decisive are no longer one’s gifts and abilities. The hope of ones positivity no longer rests on them and neither do they constitute the most unique or significant environment for one’s self-fulfilment, ‘They still remain important, original, significant but only ‘on condition that they are used in function of ones ideal self. In fact they are “functional” charisms, ie. they are at the service of the vocational charism. Hence, they are a means, not an end. And it is really the end that saves them from narcissistic insignificance and offers them a healthy criteria of expression. In practice, being intelligent or cre ative or capable of particular roles... retains its full a 3° You shallsignificance but as a means of living better one’s vocational identity of which it is a visible personal expression. / — Within this new hierarchy of values all the riches of the psychic level become no longer a property, but a gift. They 100 enter into the concept of charism and are above all, a gift freely received. They are part of the positive already present in the actual self and-of ‘that great gift Which i life and is not based on a contract but on gratu- ity and on gift, We have in fact received them without having done anything to deserve them. Each day we continue to experience that all we have and are, what we do and offer has already been given to us. When one junderstands all these, a spontaneous, profound gratitude jis aroused. And with this gratitude there is a serene joy for all the good which we possess individually —and it’s always so much—and for what we see in others. There is no longer place for envy, inferiority complex, or that naivety, typical of the psychic level, which tortures our life, and on account of us, disturbs even those who live /with us. The person accepts himself: he discovers his positivity and enjoys it, acknowledges his negativity and loesn't despair. On the contrary, he knows how to laugh at himself, and doesn’t take himself too seriously; he has learnt to live with his woes and doesn’t make a scene for levery pin-prick.. _ perfectly well that a radical land unshakable positivity exists in him beyond his failures. ‘He becomes thus a happy and ultimately a free person. He is free to discover that there or natural than putting one's gifts at the service of others. On the other hand, it is perfectly logical: he has received Jlreely, so too he must give freely (cf Mt 10:8). All that he has, has been received as a gift; it would be absurd and petty to boast about it (ef 1Cor 4:7), that is, to use it as \ private property for his own petty plans. This would be ‘contrary to his own interests, because it would mean the end of the gifts he has: any ability used only for one’s self is a gift thrown away.... Instead whatever we put at the disposal of others, grows and develops more and more ” and gives us the precious certainty that everything is a gift—we, too are a gift, and we are called to be a gift. — He who gives himself—and not only pretend to give —inevitably assumes the attitude and mentality of a se vant. The link between gift and service is very evident; it » is the same link that exists between gift received and gift shared, Where there i private property,—there is_no / master_and_no_one.can_piestme.to-administer one's gifts and abilities as he thinks best in function of his own ful- filment or a too personal interpretation of what God wants. It would be the end of the charism which we carry within. \ This temptation to give oneself to others according to projects and criteria which are apparently evangelical, but. , in reality are selfish, is very subtle and not always re- cognisable. Together with the temptation comes easily the illusion of being servants, Whoever gives himself in this way is not a servant but _a master; he doesn’t love th other, but makes use of him, even though he is not aware of it. It is as if one were to take back what one says one has given, It is important to remind oursclves that it wae not we ourselves who thought of or defined our own personal ideal self. It was revealed to us every day through precise mediations: right from the Word of God down to all those human mediations that are the normal, indispensa- ble components on the path of searching for the will of God: the Church, the spiritual director, the signs of the ‘times, the needs of those around us, family or community, rales and superiors, etc. The readiness to accept such media- cally also means this — letting oneself be led by Him be- cause we don’t know the way (Ps 86:11). Only if we accept this radical poverty can we show the way to others by our humble and selfless service. Qtherwise we_shall_“reveal” nly ourselves.. This would be’ the worst kind of service. ine who experiences himself as a servant has a positive predisposition towards reality, as he knows that all gifts 2‘come to him through the mediation of the good-will of many people and favourable situations. Hence he has trust, in these intermediaries. Above all, he will have a realistic attitude with regard to them: he will not expect them to be perfect, he takes it for granted that human mediation, by its very nature, will always be shot through with limita- tions. Tt is a light and limitation at the same time. It is like | that first great historical mediation, the incarnation of God in Christ, and in particular, the cross of His Son, which is the greatest synthesis of light and limitation, power and weakness, foolishness and wisdom, scandal and revelation. {t would be childish to expect perfect light; it would be \.pagan “to obey” only a perfect mediation, Once again it is the living_experience of goodness received that creates an attitude of trust and realism, optimism, obedience and ‘lability. — It is true that we are not the masters of oir gifts and qualities, but we still feel they are ours, part of us, especially if it costs our effort to acquire them or if we have notable success through them. Yet at times, this life, planned and ted by God, can reach the point of asking us to “sacrifice” them or to renounce them, perhaps for a |time, in practice (e.g. the abandonment of an activity which {we feel cut out for, or an environment or a role which \gives us a way of expressing our talents, etc). There is Inothing strange in this: particular situations of life or the ‘very values we have chosen can demand it from us, in view of a greater good. / These are not easy moments. We might have the < impression of sacrificing part of ourselves, our own crea- tion, But it is also the moment in which we know at what re “ha ified _ourselves. Only those who have fixed” their identity at the ontological level can make ye |this type of sacrifice in a serene way without feeling “' cheated by destiny. This type of person can “sacrifice” \the expression of some of his abilities because his positivity ‘is rooted elsewhere. Paradoxically, such a renunciation ex- presses. just this positivity and it isthe moment_of its 0 growth,’ as it is for of a_value. — This understanding of one’s gifts “beyond the psyche’ allows the person to live and express them in a fuller way, multiplying them hundredfold. Precisely because a person is interiorly serene and free, he is not over-emotional when he expresses his gifts, he is not blocked by a para- lysing fear of making mistakes, nor by the anxiety of having to cut a good figure. He is, above all powerfully driven by his ideal self whose function it is to stimulate the person to give his best. He will not choose to hide his talents underground but will use them to the full by being, exuberant and generous much more than the one who uses them for himself, There is nothing like an ideal self with transcendent values that can move our psychic dynamism and solicit a continuous commitment full of energy, creative fantasy, enthusiasm, and convincing strength. It is the story of the grain of wheat in the Gospel: whatever we have been able to give and “sacrifice” will produce much fruit. 5, Metacorporeal level The corporeal level like the psychic level is also reas- | sumed in the ontological dimension and totally reformed. } It becomes “metacorporeal”: beyond the corporeal. lery sacrifice freely. accepted in_view .\ ‘A person identifying himself“at“the” ontological level “sees” the reality of his body ‘not so much as a unique or particularly significant source of positivity (whose ambi- tion is to have a healthy, beautiful, strong body ), but as an object and sphere of donation. He gives up even his physical life and puts these physical resources at the service of the value discovered in his ideal self. He is no longer excessively worried about himself, his health, his | rest, his youth and freshness (with its relative comforts...) | on the contrary, he is ready to risk all this for the Kingdom, He lives day by day, in simpli with a martyr’s courage, ready to pay the price for others, 4a ity and constancy, “giving all of himselE. It is like a slow death, but in reality / multiplies his energy and renders his life as a wonderful \\gift for the good of many people. To make of one’s body a gift and not a possession would mean a precise interpretation of that mysterious union of bodies which happens in marriage. Whoever has received such a vocational charism discovers, through his bodily reality, that he is going towards another and can fill this sexual encounter with a corresponding meaning. It becomes the expression of the gift of self and a desire for reciprocal integration. It implies wonder and gratitude; it stimulates pleasure and intense emotion, but it goes “beyond” all these. The purely gratifying aspect is sub- merged by the feeling of handing oneself over to another in order to be fully oneself and to make the other fully himself by opening themselves together to a new life. In the same way those who have received the charism of virginity live with greater evidence the gift of their body. The renunciation of genital expression projects their af- fectivity and sexual life into a world of meanings no longer circumscribed by corporeal components, as off- shoots. The body of the virgin which is not used genitally, becomes the symbol of the overcoming of the corporeal dimension; not being involved sexually with a partner releases energy that allows one to love many people; abstaining from genital-sexualenjoyment helps one to ex- [perience the joy of human relationships in a deeper way lwhen one looks for it only in the interests of another. | All this, together with the metacorporeal interpretation jof conjugal relations, becomes possible because the indi vidual has already discovered his positivity within himself lin ideal values which make up his being and go “beyond” \his body, even while making use of it and its language to \show itself. Hence, it is neither sexual power nor con- ‘quering fascination which gives value to his person. Instead there are individuals who, unconsciously some- fumes feel they are someone only if they are able to “se- 2 duce”. There are religious men and women who do not real ise that they identify their value and amiability with being attractive, with having some privileged relationship or having someone to lean on, and they suffer, as a conse- quence, sexual abstinence more than it is required. Even if there doesn’t seem to be any genital-sexual involvement, it is probable that in these cases there is a notable amount of identification at the corporeal level and it is this that 2. creates problems in the affective-sexual area, At this point Becker would speak of sex as a “symbol of immortality” sex as a kind of idol which gives man the unconscious illusion of being boundless, powerful, dominating, charming and absolutely immortal. This is an idol that will make one feel that renunciation of genital practice is like a death and it makes death itself even more difficult and bitter. On the contrary, those who identify themselves at the metacorporeal level do not need to build themselves up on illusions of consolation simply because in the reality of what one is and what one is called to be, one finds the reason for life and death, And he discovers with wonder that the reasons are identical: one lives and dies for the same motive: because the goodness received (life) “natural- Iy" tends to become goodness given (death). And it is always on this same reasoning that his positivity is founded. Death itself, which is the negative event par =| like physical decline and old age, does not happen unexpect- edly for this individual, like a sinister event to be feared and endured, cursed and refuted, but as the logical conse- quence of a life lived to the full without any mean and selfish sparing of energy, without pagan fears of living less and without any unrealistic expectations of one's own well-being. In a special way the end of one's days will be the final and maximum offering of a life which is gradually con- verted into a gift; the culmination and “celebration” of an indestructible positivity that extends beyond death, Thus the person will have the awareness that no one neither 8adverse forces nor cruel destiny has taken away his life, only He who had given it (ef Jn 10:18). FIGURE 1: Levels of identity GoRPORFAL Levey qavemte Levy £atied to be There is also a chronological meaning, besides an axio- {logical one in the reading of this diagram: | In life we all pass or we should pass through these pro )eressive phases of identification. At the beginning of life | itis natural to identify oneself at the corporeal level — this | corporeal identification is typically infantile. An instinct \for selffulfilment and to find meaning in one's personal “4 qualities comes spontaneously at adolescence, and it is positive in many aspects. Thus the psychic level properly belongs to the adolescent. To become a young man or woman at this point means, discovering the positive root of one’s identity in the values of being and in the vocational calling that asks one to grow more in quality and intensity: this is the ontological level. Entering definitively into the adult stage means living the gift of life fully by putting it at the disposal of others (metapsychical) to the point of making this offering complete and total in death (metacorporeal level) 45CHAPTER THREE SELF IDENTITY AND SELF REALISATION: THE ROLE OF CHARISM All of us are called to self-realisation, but what con- cretely this self-realisation is, is difficult to define. It is an ambiguous term, like a container that everybody fills up as he likes. The thing is not as strange as it appears when we reflect that self-realisation is strictly connected with self-identification, and therefore, it is considered similar at the level of identity. We could thus speak of psychic and ontological self-realisation applying to this concept all the complex problems which are typical of the process of the definition of the ego. It is logical, for example. that if T want to define my ego principally in terms of the richness of the psychic level I will try my best to realise these and myself through them, giving secondary importance to the other aspects of my personality. In other words, the way of identifying myself decer- mines my style of life, or if you prefer, the contents that define me, become the model on which I build myself ‘This is a definite law of psychology. 1, Charism and self-realisation Following this law the one who identifies himself at the ontological level is called to achieve his self-realisation by living fully his ideal self, therefore, his charism, True self-realisation does not mean simply the fulfilment of all one’s gifts, nor the advancement of one's ego more or less crowned with social success. If it were like this, it would add nothing to what the person knows about him- 46 self: what is worse, it would only end up in a narcissistic and in the end a limiting exercise. On the contrary true self-realisation is always something new. It is the conquest. of a fuller way of being. It is the risk of entrusting one- self to an unknown project which is discovered little by little, recognising one’s self and what one is called to be- come. Charism is this project: to discover it, is to know oneself; to live it, is to realise oneself in all’ its fullness according to ways that are not totally foreseen and that Jead beyond what the individual is normally expecting from oneself. As a consequence the journey of internalisa. tion of the charism coincides perfectly with the project for self-realisation. This is the only way of conceiving the development of man in a way that respects and fosters his liberty and originality making him open to the future revealed by his destiny. For he is not predetermined by biological chromosomes and psychological mechanisms. He is not condemned or favoured by a destiny from his in- fancy. He is called to choose and to overcome himself in the light of the newness of his personal vocation. ‘Ta he “called” means to accept a call that evokes the truth of one’s being, moving one to realise oneself according to the vocational charism that the call brings with it From this follows a direct and important consequence: the journey of self-realisation of an individual goes through precise stages that correspond exactly to the components of his vocational charism. This is another psychological Jaw that binds every man who wishes to be himself not to entrust his self-realisation to subjective plans and to instinc- tive Feelings, but rather to the discovery and realisation of the fundamental traits of the charism which he has received as a gift. We say every man, because every man receives from God a charism that places before him a precise choice of life and concrete ways of actualising it. Thus the gift will be different and specific for every individual, but its components will be identical. The same also will be of the psychological dynamism that allows the internalisation of the gift. a‘Thus, in the following pages we shall continue to analyse more closely the existential situation of the consecrated person. The basic lines we indicate as a pattern of inter- nalisation of the charism are valid also for the other choices of life open to the faithful Concretely, every acceptance of a charismatic projéct determines above all, the sense of belonging to the charism itself and to the community of people who have received it as a gift. It matures through a specific experience of God and a corresponding journey of formation of the person and in the end it becomes a commitment to serve the brethren: from a gift received to a gift offered. The person, consecrated or not, is self-fulfilled as he “obeys” his charism. It is a selffulfilled and charismatic personality at the same time. No more dichotomy or contradiction between psycho- logical and spiritual needs, and no more claims to form first the man, then the believer, and in the end the conse- crated person. It is the same journey, marked by the same pauses in view of the same goal: the integral formation of man, the birth of @ new creature. Let us then, see, in synthesis, the fundamental outlines of the same process of self-realisation of man and the internalisation of charism. a. Sense of belonging It is born of the feeling of finding oneself in a charism, and it marks the journey to self-identification. In the beginning this intuition is vague, but later it becomes clearer and more precise. It comes from the Spirit and provokes a mixture of peace and tension which comes after finding something, knowing that there is something more to be discovered. It arouses attraction to the charism because it is discovered as the condition of self-fulfilment and happiness, like that part of one's self that waits to be fulfilled and later will give full meaning to one’s interiority and the peculiarity of one’s ego. 8 This attraction slowly gives birth to the determination to achieve this project through specific choices; for example becoming part of a religious family where that charism is concretely expressed and even codified in a Rule of Life; visible in the life of many other people who recognised in it the project the Lord has prepared for them. This project is confirmed by the Church as an authentic reading of the Word of God, is enriched by a history and by a tradition that reveals its vitality. But all these: rule, other people, history, tradition ,.., are seen and felt as something to which one belongs. Then the sense of belonging to the institute and to the concrete community of men and women with whom the person shares this gift of the Spirit is born. ‘This sense of belonging is not purely a sentimental feeling, like a gratifying sensation to be comfortable together, among people who like one another, to avoid both loneliness and the nagging preoccupations that we face in the secular life. It is neither to. be confused with the sectarian chauvinist sense of belonging of him who needs to lean on a group to have a positive self-image, not a superficial and general sense of belonging as if it is the same thing to belong to one institute or another as if the choice should depend only on accidental details. The true sense of belonging t0 the institute is the re flection of the sense of belonging to the charism. From this flows the capacity to love the community just as it is to feel it as our new and true family, to accept the brethren with all their burden of weaknesses and limitations, of gifts and infirmities, and discovering beyond their diffe ences, the common project, designed by God and entrusted to each of them for the good of many. A project, as we have seen is defined better and ap- preciated in all its richness by living in community. The charism is like a virus; all within the community are the “carriers”; there are no experts in the strict sense of, the word because each has received the same gift of the Spirit 49 4 You shall...