Alice in wonderland

Scene 1
ALICE: Wait!

WHAM! She hits bottom, smacking her head on a wooden floor.

ALICE: Ah!

ALICE (CONTD): Hello? Hello! Anyone there?

ALICE (CONTD): Is someone here?

ALICE (CONTD): Its only a dream.

ALICE (CONTD): Thats curious.

Scene 2
THE DORMOUSE (O.S.): Youve brought the wrong Alice.

WHITE RABBIT (O.S.): Shes the right one. Im certain of it.

ALICE: Absolem?

THE CATERPILLAR: Youre not Absolem. Im Absolem. The question is...who are YOU?

ALICE: Alice.

THE CATERPILLAR: We shall see.

ALICE: What do you mean by that? I ought to know who I am!

THE CATERPILLAR: Yes, you ought. Stupid girl. Unroll the Oraculum.

WHITE RABBIT: The Oraculum: Being a Calendrical Compendium of Underland.

ALICE: Its a calendar.

THE CATERPILLAR: Compendium. It tells of each and every day since the Beginning.

WHITE RABBIT: Today is Griblig day in the time of the Red Queen.

CLOSE ON THE ORACULUM

THE CATERPILLAR: Show her the Frabjous day.

WHITE RABBIT: Frabjous being the day you slay the Jabberwocky.

ALICE: Sorry? Slay the...what?

WHITE RABBIT: That being you there with the Vorpal sword, No other swords can kill the
Jabberwocky.
ALICE: Thats not me.

THE DORMOUSE: I know!

WHITE RABBIT: Resolve this for us, Absolem. Is she the right Alice?

The CATERPILLAR looks Alice in the eye.

THE CATERPILLAR: Not Hardly.

THE DORMOUSE: I told you!

WHITE RABBIT: Oh dear!, I was so certain of you.

ALICE: Im sorry. I dont mean to be the wrong Alice. Wait, this is my dream. Im going to wake up
now and youll all disappear.

ALICE (CONTD): Thats curious.

ALICE (CONTD): Pinching usually does the trick.

THE DORMOUSE: I could stick you if that would help.

ALICE: It might actually. Thank you.

THE DORMOUSE: My pleasure.

WHITE RABBIT: Unhand me! I do not enjoy being...

ALICE: Wait. Its only a dream. Nothing can hurt me.

THE DORMOUSE: What is she doing?

The Bandersnatch opens its drooling muzzle to eat Alice.

ALICE (CONTD): Cant hurt me...cant hurt me.

THE DORMOUSE: Run, you great lug!

ALICE: And Im still dreaming!

CHESHIRE CAT: What did that to you?

ALICE: Banner or Bander...

CHESHIRE CAT: The Bandersnatch? Id better have a look.

ALICE: What are you doing?

CHESHIRE CAT: It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills or it will fester and
putrefy.

ALICE: Ill be fine as soon as I wake up.

CHESHIRE CAT: What do you call yourself?

ALICE: Alice.

CHESHIRE CAT: The Alice?

ALICE: Im not going into that again!

CHESIRE CAT: I never get involved in politics. Youd best be on your way.

ALICE: What way? All I want to do is wake up from this dream!

CHESHIRE CAT: Fine. Ill take you to the Hare and the Hatter. But thats the end of it.

.Scene 6
The White Queen and her allies meet the Red Queen and herarmy at the same clearing in the
wood.

WHITE QUEEN: Hello, Iracebeth.

RED QUEEN: Mirana.

The White Rabbit blows his trumpet.

WHITE RABBIT: On this the Frabjous Day, the Queens, Red and White shall send forth their
champions to do battle on their behalf.

WHITE QUEEN: Oh Racie...

WHITE QUEEN: We dont have to fight.

RED QUEEN: I know what youre doing. You think you can blink those pretty little eyes and Ill melt
like Mums and Daddy did.

WHITE QUEEN: Just give me my Crown.

RED QUEEN: Its my crown! Im the eldest! JABBERWOCKY!

MARCH HARE: Look up! Its here! Look up!

ALICE: But this is impossible.

MAD HATTER: Only if you believe it is.

ALICE: Sometimes I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

MAD HATTER: An excellent practice, but just at the moment, you should focus on the Jabberwocky.

RED QUEEN: Wheres your champion, little sister?

ALICE: Here.
ALICE: Six impossible things. Count them, Alice. One! Theres a potion that can make you shrink.
Two! And a cake that can make you grow.

JABBERWOCKY: So my old foe, we meet on the battlefield once again.

ALICE: We have never met.

JABBERWOCKY: Not you, insignificant bearer. My ancient enemy, the Vorpal one.

ALICE: Thats enough chatter.

ALICE (CONTD): Three. Animals can talk.

ALICE (CONTD) (faltering): Four. Four, Alice!

ALICE (CONTD): Cats can disappear.

MAD HATTER: Watch your head!

ALICE: Five. There is a place called Wonderland.

ALICE (CONTD): Six.

ALICE (CONTD): And I can slay the Jabberwocky!

MAD HATTER: Behind you!

ALICE (CONTD): I can manage. Thank you.

RED QUEEN: The Hatters interfering! Off with his head!

ALICE: OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!

RED QUEEN: Kill her!

RED KNIGHT: We follow you no more...bloody big head.

RED QUEEN: How dare you! Off with his head!

KNAVE OF HEARTS: Majesty I hope you bear me no ill will.

WHITE QUEEN: Except this one. Ilosovic Stayne you will join Iracebeth in banishment from this day
until the end of Underland. The White Knights grab Stayne and chain him to Iracebeth.

RED QUEEN: At least, we have each other.

KNAVE OF HEARTS: Kill me...please.

WHITE QUEEN: But I do not owe you a kindness.

RED QUEEN: You tried to kill me! YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!

MAD HATTER: Oh Frabjous Day! Callou! Callay!

ALICE: What is he doing?

CHESHIRE CAT:Futterwacken.
WHITE QUEEN: And blood of the Jabberwocky. You have our everlasting gratitude. And for your
efforts on our behalf... The Queen hands the vial to her.

ALICE: Will this take me home?

WHITE QUEEN: If that is what you choose. Alice lifts the vial. The Hatter puts his hand on hers.

MAD HATTER: You could stay.

ALICE: What an idea... a crazy, mad wonderfulidea.

ALICE (CONTD): But I cannot. There are questions I have to answer. And things I still must do.

ALICE (CONTD): Ill be back again before you know it.

MAD HATTER: You wont remember me.

ALICE: Of course I will! How could I forget?

MAD HATTER: Fairfarren, Alice.