TO TELL A STORY – DOCUMENT ONE

INTRODUCTION:
Hi. My name is Marcus Barlow. I’m a young aspiring filmmaker, attending Calderdale College and
studying Film & Photography Level 3 BTEC. Basically, I’m a student who is a wannabe ‘big time
movie legend’. And why would that fuel narcissism? Honestly, I just love to create stories – it’s all
I’ve ever really loved doing. At school I wasn’t the academic genius (that title goes to my sister) and I
was the athletic king (that title goes to my brother) – and for a long time I wondered what I had. My
brother and sister had their thing that made them special; that something that made teachers constantly
compare me to them. Oh boy, do I remember that? “Your sister always did her homework on time.”
Or there was, “Maybe you could get your sister to help you with it. She always achieved high grades”.
Then in P.E: “There’s the Barlow I know. You’re starting to show! Almost like your dad and your
brother. Now all you have to do I master football.” Que big smug smile…
Sorry. I went a little off track there. Truth be told, I was just hunting for the one thing that made me
feel attached or sparked something in me. Firstly, I wanted to be a historian; because I was fun child.
And then, all I ever did was study history. Now I can tell you all about little events, like: the peasant’s
revolt of 1381. I know… fun! Honestly, to me it was. I loved it. I thought I had found that spark.
It wasn’t long before I noticed that the reason I loved history so much was because it was stories.
Amazingly complex and dramatic stories of hate, woe, love, loss and the breaking of bonds. It was
incredible. Then, it started. I began writing short stories – all influenced by historical events and time
periods. The first one I wrote was about a soldier who served in the army during the Battle of the
Somme. I know that for a twelve-year-old that’s pretty intense, but there was something I loved about
the relationships between people and how effects them when it’s taken away.
And then, it hit me. I was in love with stories. Reading about them and writing them. And so, began
the addiction of writing stories, and my new dream was to be an author. One step up the fun ladder
from the idea of being an historian. And for around a year, I wrote a long series of short stories – all
influenced by things I had learned during my time of studying various historical events.
Then, something happened when I was thirteen; something to this I can’t explain why it had the effect
on me that it did. I watched the film: ‘The Way Way Back’.
Now, this film isn’t regarded as one of the greatest pieces of world cinema. In fact, most people
probably don’t even know it exists. But, when I watched that film, everything about me changed. I fell
in love with a feeling and that feeling fuelled my new dream of being a filmmaker. I wanted to
recreate that feeling – which we will come back to later…
So, now I make short films and write screenplays. Oh, and study film. And that is exactly what I will
be covering across this collection of black printed words on white pieces of paper. So, sit back. Relax.
And indulge me while I tell you about: my love for cinema, the effect that my studies on cinema has
had on my work and perhaps educate about a little bit of cinema through extracts of my research I will
be showing you.
RESEARCH (PART ONE): WRITING FOR THE SCREEN… AND ALSO ANY FORM OF
STORY, REALLY
Let’s begin with the… most fun… hard part of writing. Now, you’re probably wondering what the
hell on about. Writing is pretty simple… you just start writing. My little romantic self- thought this at
first. And I couldn’t have been more wrong if I tried. Turns out, writing requires an understanding of a
pool of rules. Like everything.
However, I will not bore you with a large list of rules. I could write a long, sophisticated essay about
them – with a plethora of impressive vocabulary and impeccable structure; but I’m not going to; I’m
not an GCSE English student trying to suck up to the teacher anymore. So, I will explain the most
important rule of writing (in my opinion). Michael Hauges’s ‘Six Stage Plot Structure’. If you don’t
know this, I think you are destined to fail. Now, I’m not suggesting that you must stick religiously to
this rule. By all means, break it until your heart’s content; but you must first know it and understand it
to be able to break it; and the same goes for all the rules. I’m not saying I completely understand; I’m
still learning myself.

Behold! It is a picture! Not just any picture; but a picture of the graph for the six-stage plot structure.
Exciting things are afoot, ladies and gentlemen!
The idea is that for each one of the three acts: ACT 1, ACT 2 and… you guessed it! ACT 3, there six
stages you must go through for the inner and outer journey. The outer journey is the story itself – all
the events that take place. The inner journey is the stages that the character must go through. At the
start we establish the time and location, while exploring the situation or the equilibrium and at the end
we have the ‘final push’ where everything is racing towards the goal and then the aftermath. Does
everything return to normal, or has the world been changed forever? The same goes for the character.
Who are they at the beginning? What are they doing? Are they comfortable or unhappy? And then, by
the end of the story, have they changed? This is looking at it in a basic way. So, let me go deeper into
this.
The Outer Journey:
ACT 1 -
Stage 1 (the setup). Where is the story set? When is it set? Is there any pretext to the story? Something
like, ‘STAR WARS’. The empire rules the galaxy and rebels have united to fight it, while ‘Luke
Skywalker’ lives on a farm with his aunt and uncle.
Stage 2 (New Situation). The first begin event! Like, a wise man comes to visit our hero/ heroine
(let’s not sexist). They learn of the predetermined destiny and venture out into the dark scary world,
they had never dreamt of exploring or have longed to explore. Basically, something needs to get the
ball rolling – to kick start the entire point of the story. A very popular idea for this is vengeance. The
lead characters wish to avenge their loved ones or get revenge on their long-time rival who used to be
their friend but screwed them over.
ACT 2 –
Stage 3 (Progress). The clue is in the title. There’s progress in the story. It is popular to have an event
happen that pushes the character down a new path to their goal. Maybe they were heading to the castle
to defeat the evil king, but they won’t be able to just get in. Firstly, they need to hunt down the key
bearer to retrieve the key to the back gate or build an army. I’m aware these ideas are cheesy; but they
are for example purposes only; so, don’t judge me too harshly. To cut it short, have the character
pushing down one path and then make something happen for them to discover an alternative path to
get to their goal.
Stage 4 (complication and higher stakes). The character is too far down the path now to turn back!
They have no choice but to push forward. The idea is that something has happened that was
unexpected and had a fatal affect on the characters. Maybe, the king found out and sent assassins to
kill the lead character and one of their friends were killed. Or, in a crime film, the killer has just sent
in a letter to the police claiming they’ll take a large group of victims next, or they’ve taken the lead
character’s relative hostage. The lead would now be considering giving up but know they can’t.
ACT 3 –
Stage 5 (Final Push). It’s all or nothing! At this point the goal is insight, but the characters have taken
a major blow and are set back. Everything tells them that they are going to lose. They must risk
everything they’ve worked so hard to achieve. Either they win or die. Or that’s the idea. For example,
it’s the final battle and they are outnumbered 100:1 and they’ve taken heavy losses, but they either
fight and maybe die, or surrender and definitely die. This is what leads to the climax! Do they win? Or
do they lose? Does the small-town cop catch the bad guy and save their niece from death, or does the
bad guy win?
Stage 6 (Aftermath). Where’s the world at the end of it all? Is it broken down and in need to be fixed
again. Is the world untouched? Does life go back to how it was? Or is now in a total new situation –
bad or good? The aftermath is exactly what you expect. It is the state of things at the end – after
everything has happened. For example, at the end of a romance do they go on to live happily ever
after? Or do they just count is a mad irrational event that occurred and go back to the lives they were
leading before, being happy that they know they at least did one thing that was spontaneous and was
something they actually wanted to do, instead of being forced to do it.
The Inner Journey:
Time to talk about the lead character!
ACT 1 –
Stage 1 (Living Fully Within Identity). Does that not just role off the tongue? What this means is:
where in life is our character? What do they do? Who are they? Are they happy with their life or
uninspired? The most important thing to communicate is that the character is a certain and has been
that way forever or for a long time.
Stage 2 (Glimpsing, Longing, or Destiny; glimpse of living life in Essence). Don’t you just love how
these titles role? All this means, is the character takes charge of their life and leads it down a new path
to obtain their goal. They set out on their journey. They must be in charge. They can’t be passive. So,
no just going with it. If they do something, it is because they have made a conscience decision to do
so. For example, Walter White from ‘BREAKING BAD’ chooses to be a meth chef. He isn’t made to
 do or does because he was just following Jesse into it. He does it because he wants to. There’s a
reason why the main character is known as ‘The Lead’. They must lead us through the story; ad lead
their own destiny.
ACT 2 –
Stage 3 (Moving towards Essence without leaving Identity). When the character sets out to achieve
the goal and they are now involved in new situations that are completely unfamiliar, the character
must remain the same. They can’t just suddenly change who they are. They need to be the same
person we met at the start of the story. Going back to ‘BREAKING BAD’, Walter White (the shy
chemistry teacher) is still himself when he gets involved with his new life of crime. Of course, it
begins to shape him into a new self. However, this takes a lot of time to happen. But at the core he
will always be himself.
Stage 4 (Fully committed to Essence but growing in Fear). The character now should be 100% driven
to obtaining their goal. They now all the odds are against them and they are terrified and even
contemplate turning back: but they know they must push forward. They are willing to give their all,
no matter what; and nothing/ no one will get in their way. They know their purpose and they are
inspired by it – like Bilbo in ‘THE HOBBIT’ – he fears for his life as he is being attacked by orcs and
goblins and having to escape from evil creatures, but he feels he must help the dwarves takeback their
home, even if he might die in the process.
ACT 3 –
Stage 5 (Living one’s Truth with everything to lose). The character is now at their full potential. They
have learned so much along the way and developed into a better/ or worse version of themselves.
They’ve built a new life and hold so much in their hands. And at this point they must do everything
they can to protect it. When all odds are against they will not back down without a fight. They’ve
been through too much to let it all go now.
Stage 6 (The Journey complete, Destiney achieved). They’ve done it! After the long hard road, they
took to get to the goal, they finally have it. Alternatively, they don’t. They might lose. But they must
get to the end point. They must hold in their hand. They now might live their new life and prosper, or
go back to their old life, or just not at all – if you want to go down the dark path.
So, there you have it! You don’t have to completely stick this. Many films have broken this. However,
you should know this rule and understand it. Even the stories you think are complex and confusing
stick to this. This is simply the foundation for a story and its characters. Although, it is vital for your
character to have a goal. The story must have an end point where it is leading. Stories without an end
goal are just events. I mean, we’ve all seen ‘THE WALKING DEAD’. That show just got worse and
worse because they don’t seem to be going anywhere.
Analysing Script Extracts
1. The
Each page = a minute of Opening to ‘STRANGERS
screen time (roughly). ON A TRAIN’

SLUGLINE used to establish

the location and time of day.
It is important to establish
where we are at the start of
any scene. It gives us a basic
idea of what to expect.

Then it goes into some detail

about what is happening. It
tells us about the ‘activity of
cars and taxis arriving’
outside the station. It also
tells us that it is from a long
 Basic descriptions of
things. Be creative but
don’t blabber on about
unimportant things.
Like here, the writer
tells us that the
luggage is ‘modest
looking’. We get the
idea. You just need to
get the idea across.
This is not a novel. It
will look far different
when it is on screen.

The sentences should be

clear and snapping.
You’re telling the reader
the order in which
events occur.

Strangers on a Train
The scene begins with the transition: ‘FADE IN’ and leads into the SLUGLINE: ‘EXT. UNION
STATION, WASHINGTON, D.C. DAY. Now, we know how we come into the scene and have a basic
idea of the location. We’re already off to a good start. What would make it better is if it really
narrowed it down. Oh, and it does. We then move onto a ‘LONG SHOT of the to the ‘CAPITOL
DOME’ which is in the background and in the fore ground we have the ‘AUTOMOBILE
ENTERANCE’. Now we’re getting an idea to where we are. In the script we then learn that it is a
busy day. ‘Cars and taxis’ and piling up outside. Could the vision of the scene be much clearer?
It is then made clear that our focus will be drawn to a taxi stopping. The taxi driver gets out and gets
the luggage out of the taxi and it looks ‘modest’. And that all we really need to know about – we get a
simple idea. The writer then gives us a small list of the items so that our vision is a little bit clearer.
The ‘CAMERA PANS DOWN’ and we are shown a pair of brogues on a man’s feet. We get the sense
of a business man who has a ‘modest’ life and income. Already, we are painting a picture with out
imagination. The shoes move out of the scene as they walk away. We’ve established a character.
Then, a limousine, driven by a chauffer pulls up. Not a taxi – a limousine. And the picture isn’t
complete – but still, we know what to expect from the rest of it. What do we expect? We expect more
shoes, but this time of a fine quality and some extravagant luggage. And what do we get? Exactly that.
The man sat in the back climbs out and we see his ‘black and white sport shoes’. I’m not talking about
the shoes you wear to go on a run. I’m talking about these sexy things.
It’s the 1950’s. And what do we know about the 50’s? We know that sport
shoes and pinstripes suits were all the rage… for those with money. And
it is also associated with the mafia, who coincidently had a lot of money.
Those shoes also make their way into the station. And now begins the
tension. Although, before we get into that, let’s just stop for a moment
and think about the characters. We haven’t even seen their faces, but we
already know so much about them. One is down on his luck and has to do
everything himself, while the other is rich and lives without a car, while other people look after him.
We get all that from shoes and luggage. It’s absolute genius!
So, the pacing is clearly quite slow. And yet the tension is there. It’s building up to something. It’s like
a ticking bomb – and the best scripts ever written have been known to do the same thing; they use the
cheap trick of having every page tick.
Where does it go once we’re in the station? Let’s have a look…
The camera follows the brogues and the sport shoes as they make their way across the station. On the
screen they do this walking in different directions. As if they are walking towards each other and
automatically we are waiting for the conflict of the collision of the two shoes. Tick goes the bomb.
Then, something happens. The shoes don’t meet. They both walk parallel down the sperate aisles.
What?! They don’t collide. They walk the same path. This symbolises that they are the same. Despite
the clear class difference – they’re two men going to board a train to get somewhere. Having said that,
we’re still disappointed there was no conflict.
But then… they get on the train. The brogues rest as he sits on his chair. ‘A moment later the sport
shoes come to rest before an adjoining chair.’ The legs of the sport shoes stretch out and tap accidently
touches the brogues and the piece of dialogue is uttered from the sport shoes: ‘oh, excuse me!’
Boom! The conflict happened! The bomb exploded, and we got what we wanted. Is that not amazing?
A slow-paced script about shoes moving across the floor of a train station and we have a large build
up, provoking our adrenaline. We wait for that collision and we don’t get it and we’re disappointed,
but then... boom. It happens, and our expectations are fulfilled. We get a sense of character and story
all in a small scene. Pure genius at work.
And now for something to pick up the pace…
Scene 26 of Tarantino’s ‘PULP FICTION’

Pulp Fiction.
Unlike ‘STRANGERS ON A TRAIN’, ‘PULP FICTION’
has a quick beat pace. Such can be expected from
Tarantino.
What makes the scene I’ve chosen so special is the rapid
change in pace during the conversation of Vincent and
Lance. When we’re with Lance things move slow. He sits
and eats his cereal and relaxes in his robe. When the phone
rings he takes his time to get to it and slowly lifts it to his
head. And everything in his house is slow and calm.
Then, we cut to Vincent in the ‘Malibu’. A total change to
pace. Vincent is panicking in his car as he flies down the
road. The background whips past him. The calm collected
character from earlier in the film is manic and scared.
I only want to focus on pacing in this extract, because the
contrast in it is amazing.
The tension builds so rapidly with our adrenalin as we
frustrated by the sloth like Lance as he shuffles to the
phone while we know Vincent is dealing with an overdosed
woman who is moments away from dying. By slowing the
pace down, it helps to mirror Vincent’s panic with us. It’s a
very clever technique. It’s a classic will they make it? Kind
of scene. That bomb I was talking about earlier is ticking
and the ticking is only getting faster - it’s about to detonate and this drugged up dealer is taking his
time to get to the phone. We can feel the anger in us build as we know that time is precious. Making
this sequence longer than it should be, Tarantino plays without emotion and we as an audience are sat
at the edge of our seats. What cinema is great at doing, is making us sit on the edge and Tarantino is a
master at creating this effect.
Really this scene should have only taken a couple of minutes to execute, but Tarantino manages to
stretch much further. The man is a genius.
And to the next extract!
RED DEAD REDEMPTION (Rock Star Game: 2010) – Dutch’s Death
This one is a game! There’s a reason why I chose to do a screenplay from a game; and it’s because
games are just like films and shows – they still have story and require scripts and direction. And Rock
Star are incredible for story-based games – and this is perhaps their finest. Having said all that,
because it’s a game, I have to copy the script over from a website because I can’t get a picture. And it
is actually a transcript. So, we’ll just have to make do.
DUTCH’S DEATH
[Dutch exits to a dead-end summit ledge.]

Dutch: Hello again, John.

Marston: Hello, Dutch.

Dutch: We gotta stop meeting like this!

Marston: Sure!

Dutch: I've got a plan, John.

Marston: You've always got a plan, Dutch.

Dutch: This is a good one.

[He throws down his gun.]

Marston: I don't doubt it.

Dutch: We can't always fight nature, John. We can't fight change. We

can't
fight gravity. We can't fight nothing. My whole life, all I ever did
was fight.

Marston: Then give up, Dutch.

Dutch: But I can't give up, neither. I can't fight my own nature. That's
the
paradox, John. You see?

Marston: Then I have to shoot you.

Dutch: When I'm gone, they'll just find another monster. They have to,
because
they have to justify their wages.

Marston: That's their business.

Dutch: Our time is passed, John.

[He falls backwards, plummeting to his death. John goes to check the
body.]

Look, I even changed the font for you.

Do you see how the pacing is so slow? This reflects the feelings of the characters. Neither one of them
want Dutch to die. They drag it out by talking. And you get the real sense of injustice in Dutch’s
dialogue. This is an emotional scene. I may have to give you some context.
The story of ‘RED DEAD REDEMPTION’ is a tragic tale of John Marston and his mission to kill his
ex-gang members after being ordered to by the federal government when they take his wife and son.
The story begins in 1912, (the days of the dying west). Oh yeah, it’s a western by the way. Our lead
character: John Marston is an ex-gang member and now lives his life on a farm with his wife, son,
dog and an old guy names Uncle. His family have been taken hostage by the federal government and
the story starts when he is forced to board a train.
He spends the remainder of the time hunting down his old gang members – starting with Bill
Williamson in America, who he later finds has fled to Mexico. When he arrives in Mexico he is driven
into a rebellion where he eventually kills two of his old gang members, Bill and Javier Escuella.
He is then ordered back to America to kill the old leader, Dutch Van Der Linde. After fighting his way
through Dutch’s new gang atop a mountain, John finally has him at the ledge of the mountain.
And that brings us to now.
There’s not too much I can say about this script. But the dialogue is incredible. You understand that
the two have history, and that Dutch knows he has nowhere to go. He feels cheated of life and warns
John of ‘nature’ – foreshadowing the future – especially after he tells John that the feds will just find
‘another monster’. The dialogue unsettling and makes you wonder what will be after this event. I’m in
awe of how they used those words to create a dark unnerving feeling. Everything seems so wrong in
this scene.
I love it when a scene feels unfinished because it makes the story feel like it has something left to tell
us/ show us. And boy, does this story have something left to show us…