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Write that book, Mr Blair

This article is more than 19 years old
If the Prime Minister hopes to make a mint out of his memoirs he may be deluded

The longer the Reverend Blair stays on at Downing Street in the hope of securing his place in the history books, the more likely it is that he will go down in history as the man who made a terrible mistake invading Iraq alongside George Bush, who then stayed on as Prime Minister in the hope that we would forget all about it.

The hopeful thing in this situation is that Blair in the end may be forced to go, simply in order to pay the mortgage on the hugely expensive house he has bought in Connaught Square just off the noisy Edgware Road in central London.

And he will hope to do this by securing a huge advance from some publisher or other for his memoirs. I have seen as much as £1million quoted as the kind of sum he could hope to get.

Well, if that is finally going to rid us of the Reverend Blair once and for all, then I'm all for it. But one can only wonder again at the gullibility of publishers who are prepared to pay such vast sums for books that it is perfectly possible nobody will want to read.

Right now, as I have been told by the clever marketing people at Private Eye magazine, Blair's name on the cover of a book or his picture on the front of a magazine is a big turn-off with the punters.

Why should anyone think that in a year or two the situation will change and that these same punters will storm the bookshops to get their hands on an expensive book that may not even have been written by Blair and which, it goes without saying, is likely to include all manner of fibs and fantasies?

Petty cash

I spent about an hour and a half the other day doing an interview for a BBC documentary. In the good old days, before doing anything like that, I would have agreed an acceptable fee and signed a contract beforehand.

But nowadays there is no mention of money and certainly no contract. When I asked the producer politely whether I could be expected to be paid I was told I would have to apply in writing to another department.

No one would mind too much were it not for the fact that the men who have introduced this new system of non-payment are themselves in receipt of very generous six-figure salaries, on top of which they are probably giving themselves equally generous bonuses.

The object of all this is to produce TV on the cheap, a fact which explains why Channel 4, for example, puts on Big Brother almost every night.

Unfortunately this programme has again given rise to protests. Last week one of the female contestants was shown simulating sex with a blow-up doll and then kissing two men while bathing topless in the Jacuzzi.

Later, the same woman was seen lying down in the garden with a bottle between her legs.

There is little sign, however, from the bosses of Channel 4 that this programme will go off the air. It is very cheap to make and a lot of people watch it.

But when people are talking, as they do nowadays, about our wonderful British culture which they want devout Muslims to assimilate, Channel 4 and others might be asked whether this is the most appropriate way to go about it.

Bullet point

For the first time that I can remember in years of commuting there were policemen with guns at Paddington station last week.

According to the press, the massive police presence is being mounted in order to make us, the public, feel safer when we arrive in the metropolis. But I am not so sure that this does not constitute wishful thinking on the part of the authorities.

Because it is not exactly reassuring to see armed policemen standing outside the WH Smith sweet shop on the main concourse.

To the nervous it will suggest immediately that the situation in London must be very dangerous indeed if it demands the presence of these gun toters.

Not only that, but with the example in mind of Mr Menezes, the Brazilian who was shot at Stockwell station, many travellers of Asian or Arabic origin will feel that if they make a false move they might well get a bullet in the back.

And who is to say that they would not have good reason to think that way?

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