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Wha’ Suhhh

@ask-bing-and-the-g-unit

get crazy. but not too crazy ‘cause then I might get in trouble

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Profile picture is done by @ask-yourfriendlyskaterboy / @kaisartdump. She is cocreator on here. We share these interpretations.

You’ll probably recognize some dialogue and instances. You’ll also notice some differences.

This is very much a passion project and dump, and I want to acknowledge that. But, hey, ya know what they say: comics help art and such. This won’t be a comic by any means, but ya know what I mean.

So let’s get this show started.

EDIT: my main account (in all its reblog glory) is @madsk3tch

EDIT 2: nother side account that is not a reblog nightmare @sweetwildsyle

- Syle

Facts: Eric was turned off and could not be turned on; a cat had appeared in his late place of being on; Dark took the mentioned cat. Before those facts, no messages had come through about taking a break. No one seemed to have noticed that Eric was gone yet.

What if the cat had no correlation to this? What if Google had pushed past the walls Bing set up? Could they do that? Why go for Eric? Eric was the simplest system of them, wasn’t he – the easiest target. Did Google want them back? Or just the others? Would Blue be left alone just like in the beginning? What if–

“–ue? Bluuuue?” A hand waved in front of Blue’s visual processors, and he blinked.

“Bing,” he acknowledged.

“Do you know you’ve been standing here for like five minutes or something?”

“Yes.”

Bing faltered… He twisted the ends of the scratchy, costume scarf around his neck, lightly pulling at it to stretch his arms anxiously while his head swayed with insecurity. Why did it have to be so difficult to talk to Blue?

“Uh- well, if you wanna talk about it or something, let me know. You were acting weird earlier. N- Not weird! Just, uhm, different? I don’t know; you seemed off earlier.”

“When you were piercing your ears.”

“Yeah. Oh, did you want one?”

Blue paused, eyes fading through blues and blue greens. “Perhaps at another time.”

(HES SO CUTE) Careful- okay, hold... [Waits until he stops moving to gently put a peice of salmon in his mouth.] There you go.

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He is sitting so politely now and takes the salmon bit gingerly to eat. He is learning so goooood.

Speaking of learning…

Blue is searching the house. He has learned that a cat appeared where Eric’s body had been before warping elsewhere and that Dark picked up the aforementioned cat.

His issue is approaching Dark.

Blue is available for asks.

What if we just hand feed him until he gets it. [They pick up on of the small pieces with their chopsticks, holding it out for Eric.] Here, come on.

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Eric deflates, his tail dropping as his ears fold back.

This is… terribly patronizing. He’s being treated as a child! Why would anyone–

Is that how Ivan feels?

Eric pauses. He turns proper to look over the anon. And he’s quickly padding over with his mouth open. He has examples to set.

Anonymous asked:

You know, it might be easier to eat if someone cut it up for you into smaller bites you can just pick up and chew? Rather than trying to tear chunks out of that big piece. But either way I'm really glad you're eating! Think it's tasty? c:

-Iowa

Were these not small bites? Eric tilts his head again in contemplation. He thinks they’re pretty small. So far they’ve been fitting in his mouth.

To clarify for the anon, the salmon is cut up. It is! The pieces are all bite-size and chewable. He’s just that dumb at being a cat.

Eric walks over to Dark and– oh, he is screaming in their face. Dark winces and sets a hand on his head to silence him. “We should have brought the oujia board with us.”

You did it!!! Good job Eric!! [They clap, celebrating his success!]

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His ears fold back since he feels terribly patronized. But they’re probably being sincere… The fluffy tail sways back and forth, and he gives a soft, appreciative meow of gratitude. Acknowledging and rewarding the kindness should promote more, right?

He focuses on the salmon bits again, knowing he needs a better tactic than last time.

“Use your tongue to pull it in.”

Eric looks over at Dark who then raises an eyebrow. “Your tongue will help — like a jet stream, the salmon will be pulled by the force of it.”

A low grumble sounded from Eric at the explanation. He didn’t have any means to look up what those words even meant. Ridiculous.

[They laugh, lighthearted of course, and lower their sushi.] You know how to eat. You're thinking too much about it. Watch. [They open their mouth wide, comially, and take a bite out of their salmon. They made sure to show their teeth as they rip a chunk off, then chewing.] Take a chunk and chew, slowly, we dont need you to get a stomach ache.

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He is opening his mouth sooo so big and leans forward again, eyes moving back and forth between the salmon and the anon. His head rotates back and forth towards the plate. How does he…? He doesn’t have chopsticks!!

Eric bites down, his little nose wrinkling as he picks up a piece and then leans his head back to get it in his mouth — and gags when the piece drops in his throat.

Brilliant. Showstopping. Innovating.

He manages to readjust the piece in his mouth and is chewing. Success!

Eric look, we’ll have a bite together. I promise it’s very delicious you will love it. [They sit across the table, their own sashimi on a plate. With chopsticks, they raise a slice to their mouth and wait for Eric to take a bite with them.]

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Eric had resumed licking the salmon and is then staring at the anon and smacking his lips. He looks back to Dark who is savouring their plain ice cream.

He stares hard at the salmon. How does… he chew?

His mouth opens, and he just leans down towards it. How did he do this earlier with the blueberries? He did this before. How does he…??

The cat has smushed his face against the salmon and leaps back shaking his head frantically at the texture. He may be stupid.

Ohh. I'm a big fan of vanilla soft serve. Everyone says it's boring, but I love the simplicity of it, and the smooth texture. If I feel like treating myself I'll put some butterscotch syrup on it :)

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“Can’t be more boring than mine,” chuckles Dark before sighing. “Butterscotch sounds nice– Are you just licking the salmon?” Eric freezes mid lick, brown eyes staring at Dark. The cat smacks his jaws while his tongue flicks out. “You need to actually eat it.”

“Here: the last thing we need is for me to accidentally step on you,” Dark said while bending down to pick Eric up. The cat’s ears swiveled forward at the amount of cracks that emitted from them, and he gave a low noise of concern as he was placed on the counter. The grey being sighed, eyes closing.

“Please, I know you don’t like it when people sit on the counter —” Not what he was upset about, but now he was. “— but I need you to stay up here.”

Eric gave an awkward nod as he sat down as politely as possible, his tail curling up tightly against his side. The perspective was disorienting. He was high up from the floor, yet it was lower than usual for him. He couldn’t open any drawers or cabinets without difficulty. He wanted to get in the sink– He wanted to what?

"Sorry about popping in and out like that. Don't mean to startle you. I can't really help it." Sitting on the floor cross-legged and bringing out a ratty toy shaped like a mouse. It has catnip inside! I place it a few feet in front of me.

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He meows apologetically to your apology before his ears flatten back at the sight of the toy.

Well… It would be rude to not accept a gift.

He creeps forward tentatively to place a paw on the mousey. It’s gently batted, knocked back and forth by little white paws before he (so politely) picks it up in his mouth (ew) and places it directly in front of the anon.

He’s… trying?

Eric deserves to descover the wonders of wet food, and crunchy treats. Do we have cat treats?

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“The plan is to see what I can find, unfortunately,” Dark admits as the two enter the kitchen. “We were lucky to have had that one anon give us blueberries earlier. I could always grab a chicken from Bim, I suppose.

“Oh, you don’t like that idea,” notes Dark as Eric’s tail gets big again. They turn back to the anon before it disappears. “No cat treats. Conjuration is not a strong suit of mine.”

Dark moves from the rocking chair, and Eric bolts upright upon hearing the cracks and the pops and the snaps.

The being sighs as the cat mewls with concern. “I’m fine. I don’t know why you give me that look every time I move.” Eric sneezes. “Bless you.

“You’re welcome to stay here, but I need to go out. I’ll bring you back something to eat,” they promise.

Leave? When they are so hurt and broken? Eric scrambles to get off of the bed and pad after Dark with a yip.

“People will see you.” Yip. “I can’t stop them without raising suspicion.” Yip — to say that he will not leave them alone when they are hurt.

Dark sighs again. “Alright, come along.”

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