i love when people are like “Oh my god, I couldn’t possibly imagine being asexual, how sad, you’re missing so much…” Bitch!!! You know what’s sad? Being gluten intolerant. If you placed two pills in front of me right now, one which would turn me allosexual and one which would enable me to tear into a freshly-baked oven-warm olive-and-rosemary ciabatta without utterly destroying my body, it would not even be a choice. “hyuhhh-duhhhh aren’t you worried you’ll die alone” aren’t you worried i’ll just launch myself over the bakery counter in our local grocery store one day and stuff croissants in my mouth like a starving racoon til i die and the whole place has to be closed down as a health risk while they peel my bloated body off the linoleum floor? You should be

What i have learned from the tags of this post is that there is a whole community of gluten intolerant asexuals and we are all DESPERATELY horny for bread

Neither Dying A Hero nor Living Long Enough To Become The Villain, but a secret, third thing; Fucking Off To Become An NPC

I love couples that are technically straight but in the most gay way possible.

omg....i found a second photo of the arcade lesbians

I’m not a lesbian but I love sapphics and giant robots what is this “g-witch” of which you speak

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury! As the title shows, it's a Gundam show, but the story is contained in its own separate timeline so you don't have to know anything about previous Gundam shows to watch it (i.e: it is the only Gundam show I have watched).

Absolutely phenomenal show. I'd say if you're interested, watch the first few episodes and see if it sticks. I doubt you'll be disappointed.

The fact that you can’t raise taxes on billionaires even slightly without them pouring money into fascist political movements is, of itself, evidence that billionaires as a class shouldn’t be allowed to exist in the first place.

I’d just like to point out that every single thing that has happened in the 6 years since I created this post has only reinscribed its absolute moral correctness in my mind.

I'm starting a tag game for songs stuck in your head.

Reply, or reblog with a song that's been stuck in your head this week, and then tag some people you might want to.

For this game I tag: @grossmuppet @coolmomvinyl @socalledmixtapelife @cr33pyspo0kytr33s @maylilithreign @xlittle-ghost @beardyoakenshield @subpixie420 @sensualkiwi aaaaand @justabitchwithunsettlingdesires

Tagging: @fatmaninalittlesuit @m0tiv8me @weights-and-horror @justhiitit @52fit @polyamorousheathens @chaoticmusiccollectors @darthperineum @maeganbobaegan @bmxpotato @snapthistiger @swedish-mathematician

Tagging: @loveherallican-blog @sassymox @iwishicouldhibernate @littlelemonme @alicila @weeble15 @big-low-t @gunnersooner @sugarshane-az @cernunnos1990 @dreadd91 @anythinggoesreallygal @ghostdaartist @mememuseumofhistory @dimplesandeyecrinkles @peytonsplace70

and of course @anyoneelse who'd like to

Sextile - Freak Eyes

Thanks for the tag @the-football-chick

I will tag @zelphafrost and anyone else really if they have the time and want to do it!

Missy Elliott - Get Ur Freak On

And I have no clue why it keeps popping into my head.

@theoldsmelly @omarandjohnny @the-fuzzy-canadianc @loveherallican-blog @lookingformyperfectsandwich @curvethemoonshine @thewitchywench @invincible-selfxmade-punk

Thanks for the invite @hcibsw2

(Even got it on the right day, go me!)

I'll invite @misssquirrel, @blondebrainpowered, @lycrewe, @edensmidian, @possit-de-tenebris, @carnalreincarnated, @the-consulting-geek, @dutchessdemented, @missmirim, @soulless-blunder, and anyone who cares to play

Play if you'd like. Do what makes you happy. 😎

Everyone have a wonderful weekend

Thank you @lookingformyperfectsandwich

I'll invite @brandadam @brodyagain3 @brunothegrape @russalex @ralfmaximus @dangerouslycleverflower @mikeepoo @harmcityherald @jamesinsf @bcourchaine @butyoutoldmeiwasfunny

Please only play if you're up to it. Wishing you health and peace.

thank you @blondebrainpower for tagging me!! i have loved your blog and your eye for good art and photos that impact in one way or another! I'm glad and honored to be a mutual! I have been working on my cellar and garage all week. I'm fleshing it all out to be my recording studio and a library\sitting room\gaming room for my family and little army of youngers. all week this cure song has been ringing in my ears, not for some morose or sad reason. with me it's all about basslines. this baseline in particular is actually a masterpiece. it's the kind of line that can repeat over and over like a loop because it is so perfectly arranged. it does that in your head too. takes me away to my time spent on Taylor's Island in the 80s when this album was fresh and new and made me an outcast among the water-folk. but that was a fun place to be.

I'm going to tag @omarandjohnny @joeldirtybastard @eerieland @nodarkthings @desertmystic @headlesssamurai @disease @donnerpartyofone @onefunkyrobot @errur @paradoxmimzy @bonewhiteglory @curatorofthisdigitalmorass @ahellishhound @cybermax @bed-of-asphodel @brzy40 @warriorofdune @arctic-hands

there are so many I love and I'm so happy to have so many mutuals and followers. I could go on all day tagging everyone lol. I get music from most of my tagged blogs and this is another way to say I appreciate you every day.

dig that baseline! Have a great and wonderful weekend!!

Tagged by @harmcityherald

(To be fair, this song lives rent-free in my head, and I'll always break out into dance whenever I hear it. I'm not joking.)

@chasetherainn, @kaijuaesthtc, @johnhocksbur, @hug-your-face, @virtue3vice, @wearepaladin, @celestialmoments777, @ksana-salamandra, @lifeof-ty, @devilishangel60079, @dani-pants, @amountainlily

@headlesssamurai Headless, I love you and hate you rn. Thank-you-I-think for introducing me to this. Adding it to my 2025 playlist bc given all that's going on in the world these days, I need whatever feeling it is that I get from "it's the power of the Lycra/tickles my tigra."

Mine is far less interesting but it's just something abt the flangers that's healing my soul:

Tagging @binary-suunset @biodead-on-the-biobed @nevermindthewanderer @meraxes-of-new-albion and @asteroidtroglodyte bc I can't wait to hear what fresh hell you expose me to

You can thank the Beloved Mutual @doofnoof for this psychic damage

"stop speaking like you're superior" do you know how much more agile your brain is when you're bisexual?

**BILINGUAL

You get a sword; you’re bisexual now

If ownership of swords marks someone as bisexual then someone could easily cause "beans r not woke" style devastation on a ton of alt-right history nerds.

Imagine how hard they would pitch a reactionary shit-fit if people started commenting things like;

"Sword Spotted! I see you're Bisexual 😏"

On their posts and videos.

yes. Yes! YES!!!

I bet octopuses think bones are horrific. I bet all their cosmic horror stories involve rigid-limbs and hinged joints.

To an octopus, a human is like a thinking being with blood-stained coral growing inside it.

I need to sit down and breathe into a bag for a while.

Its parts were obscenely limited in their movement. Each hinge could open or close only a small amount before reaching its limit, yet by working in concert they demonstrated unexpected dexterity, moving and manipulating the objects before it with cunning equal to my own. It was more torso than limb, as though a seal had been stretched and warped, given long grasping tentacles filled with bones like bars of coral.  It’s head was most horrid of all, flat and ovoid, jutting out too small from the trunk as though it belonged to a beast half its size.

The thing rose upon its lowermost appendages, two long trunks that ended in flat, protruding flippers that branched into stubby, grasping mockeries of a sucker. It’s triple-hinged uppermost limbs were similar, but the ends branched into five smaller tentacles, each with three hinges of their own.

I froze, as the thing’s gaze fell upon me and it opened its hideous fish-jaw, filled with thick, many-shaped teeth like white shards of stone, and spoke in a shrill, discordant babble. I felt its horrid dry grip on my flesh, as those hinged appendages closed on me like the legs of a crab.

I felt the heat of its body, tasted its noxious, oily flesh through my touch, and prepared for the end, and all went black as a swoon overtook me.

I awoke, some time later, the cold and comforting water, banished back to the comfort of the sea and the dark. I should be grateful I am alive. I should cast aside the experience like a half-remembered dream.

I shall never again go swimming in search of lights above. The last thing I recall before the darkness took me was my right eye popping free of the thing’s grasp enough to see into the distance for one brief moment.

I saw thousands of lights.

ok so it turns out “horror but it’s about something mundane from the perspective of a non-human animal” fucks severely

i mean that is kinda the whole point of old cosmic horror before idiots decided actually looking at deformed people gives you mental health issues

I mean actually old cosmic horror is about losing your tiny little sheltered white mind over the idea that God isn’t real. Lovecraft’s politics were Alt-Right for the time; he thought that America’s problems could be solved by creating an American Aristocratic class and switching over to a fucking Monarchy. Even a quick perusal of his catalogue quickly reveals that HP Lovecraft was a sheltered little man whose mind would have cracked asunder at a mere photograph of Barack Obama in the Oval Office. His unspeakable monstrosities were actually fairly often of the merely grotesque variety. The recurring question amongst biographers of how often his mother fucked him may offer some insight into what manner of monstrosity Lovecraft dealt with in his own life, and how his mind could be so small.

Others, who came later, truly expanded Cosmic Horror into what it is now. I was chatting about this very thing with My Bröther earlier, and I came up with a rough hierarchy of Horror. Nothing formal, just my brain doing a thing:

Body Horror: Violation of The Flesh

Psychological Horror: Violation of The Psyche

Disaster Horror: Violation of Society

Cosmic Horror: Violation of WorldModel

So. By my personal reckoning, good Cosmic Horror does violence to the integrity of a character’s Model of Reality in a way that is analogous to the Body Horror monster violating the integrity of the body.

Astronomers during Lovecraft’s time were figuring out the True Age Of The Cosmos, which turned out to be orders of magnitude greater than anyone had conceived, and which stood in clear violation to Christian Dogma. Much of OG Lovecraftian horror boiled down to the mind recoiling from the yawning gulf of Deep Time and the staggering insignificance of Humanity against the backdrop of that. For us, it’s Tuesday.

As a reward for indulging my lengthy rant, here’s an excellent piece of published The Thing fanfiction, that explores how The Thing must have also been horrified by us. Personal fave.

You know. To circle back to the original point

Also! Caitlin R Kiernan (at least in their earlier works, I’ve sadly not been able to keep up with their publications, they write a LOT) is/was an excellent heir to the deep time aspects of Lovecraft without any of the rubbish prejudiced bits. They are a published palaeontologist and their experience with Really Unknowably Old Things really adds a richness to the cosmic horror fo it all, e.g. their book Threshold, which starts the Deep Time series, wherein a geologist named Chance finds something unspeakable in her grandfather’s fossil collection….

Here is a free story of theirs, one of the earlier ones I read, about a recurring character called Dancy Flammarion, who hunts eldritch horrors along America’s highways - there was also an excellent graphic novel. And another excellent Escape Pod audio magazine adaptation of An Ode To Katan Amano (potentially NSFW, it has been a long time since I listened to it). I’ve not read their books since 2010 (when I moved to a different country and left my library behind, and they’ve proved damn hard to find on the second-hand market in the UK) but they have stuck with me over the years and I’m very happy to recommend them. It looks like there might be some available on the internet archive as well. And they are still writing and publishing regularly, novelsw and short stories, and might even have a Patreon.

And they have kept a blog for years and years over on Livejournal .

idk who needs to hear this today but you don't have to marry a man if you don't want to

"stop speaking like you're superior" do you know how much more agile your brain is when you're bisexual?

**BILINGUAL

You get a sword; you’re bisexual now

girl help they're putting "modern people under capitalism work more than medieval peasants" posts on my dash again

your rented hovel:

medieval peasant's owned hovel:

somebody who is got at the economy please help me my family has rickets

How much of your time is spent spinning thread? Sewing and repairing clothes? How often are you pregnant? How long does it take you to prepare a meal? How many of your babies have you watched die before age five?

Outside of “medieval obligations to Lord” you have to actually…work for your own survival. Like oh great, only 55% of your time goes to fattening up your Lord! Now winter is here and you have zero food in your stores because you gave it away to your Lord but at least you got a nice two month vacation!

And the number of girls/women who buy into this is hilarious. Oh baby no, that 200 day thing doesn’t apply to you. You have to work from sunup to sundown, 365 days a year, or the entire household falls apart. Rise before everyone else to get the fire and breakfast started, break your back lugging water and heating it and scrubbing laundry over and over and over again.

My great grandmother lived her entire life in a rural Ukrainian homestead with zero running water, heat, or plumbing. There is NO such thing as free time. If you are not actively farming or feeding animals or cooking/cleaning, you are sewing or mending or weaving or canning or salting to prepare for winter. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the structure of the government either; she did all of this through an empire, a soviet dictatorship, and eventually a democratic capitalist nation. Turns out, when you have no nearby stores or infrastructure, it doesn’t matter a damn if you live under communism or feudalism or capitalism. Someone’s gotta do the cooking and washing and mending and it’s probably gonna be you.

Look, I have men in the family with goodwill and chainsaws and carts that connect to cars and circular saws ... and still,heating up a room and cooking on a firestove is still So Much Hassle and So Much Hard Work just carrying the Shitton of Wood it takes to just cook a lunch.

Go and keep yourself warm and fed in a house with a wood stove and a solid fuel boiler for a weekend and then come and tell me how much easier life was before the invention of powered saws.

All these modern things are great yeah none of this is actually engaging with the criticism that bringing up medieval working hours is meant to point to, other than the "hours worked for lord bit" which is frankly just talking out of one's ass. The statistics for working hours comparison do try to account for hours working for subsistence, making clothes, etc.

The point of this criticism is not that medieval peasants had it so much better than us and we should go back to that exactly. The point is there are real ways in which we are less free and more exploited than fucking medieval pesants. The point is that we're supposed to be living in some kind of futuristic society were machines and computers do tons of the work and instead of that letting us rest more or spend more time doing things we care about, it's all being used to force the average persons face to the grindstone to work god awful, Victorian sweatshop fucking hours. The point is that modern technology is not inherently freeing, that just because you shit in a toilet instead of a hole, that doesn't mean your life is better in ways that are important and we should be pissed off about.

I'm a medievalist. You're a dipshit.

There are no ways where we are "less free and more exploited than fucking medieval peasants." None. We have not been forced to maintain subsistence pescatarian diets as a class or status divider from our meat-eating overlords, nor have we been beheaded and used as grave goods.

We do not undergo torture and facial mutilation for minor property crimes.

We do not all live in obligate high carbon monoxide environments that are so toxic from wood smoke that they decrease lung capacity within days.

Jewish people are no longer the direct property of the Crown.

Any quibbling about the exact numbers of the lord/personal workday misses the fucking point, which is that subsistence agricultural labor is backbreaking 12-14 hour workdays during the warm seasons and starvation during the cold, and the slightest fuckup in subsistence productivity - such as needing to dedicate more hours working the lord's fields - could kill. The yield of medieval livestock and farmland was greatly truncated compared to today, the grain-based medieval European diet was so abnormally high in fiber that it caused chronic diarrhea, and none of the annals from the sixth to the eleventh century mention more than one year of "great bounty."

Women do objectively have more rights nowadays than the average peasant of the Middle Ages and to act like this is not the case is so stupid that it's not even worth entertaining. Hey, did you know that one of the theories for the start of the Viking Age is that there was so much female infanticide among the elite that aristocratic young men had to raid in then-untouched areas to acquire enough of a bride-price to pay for the increasingly scarce resource that was wives?

And I'm not a Victorianist, but it is easy to find evidence that the typical Victorian sweatshop workday length was 9-16 hours and included the labor of children as young as four. It's almost like the 8 hour day was the culmination of decades of protest and campaigning, or something

And ah, the bucket. Have you heard of this thing called cholera? Dysentery? Norovirus? Typhus? Did you know that access to toilets is a key concern of every developing country? Lack of toilets is a major public health issue and poor sanitation kills 1.4 million people a year.

If you truly think that modern technology isn't freeing, then maybe the problem is that you don't see things like washing machines or space heaters or IV saline or synthetic insulin as technological innovations.

You are 30. At this age, you are choosing to be ignorant. Maybe work on that and don't do this stupid, fascist-friendly nostalgia wishcasting. You can point out that aspects of modern life are bad and advocate for change without cheapening your argument by insisting they're the Exact Same as being a peasant in 1092. If you are having problems with time management or depression, perhaps see a mental health professional instead of wallowing fruitlessly in the idea that you are a serf. You're not. I can tell you're not, because you're not riddled with parasites

for everyone asking for what article this is i actually went back and found it again and you'll never guess who it's about

small shrimp: *approaches*

big shrimp: don’t like that *yeets self into orbit*

Shrimps can fast travel when enemies are nearby

Enough about shrimp colors, let's talk about shrimp speeds

They’re fast, yea.

(Fun fact: studying this behavioral response led scientists to discover a type of neural structure that allows for complex responses to particular stimuli without consulting the brain)

But you wanna know something else that’s crazy about Shrimp?

Some of them have arm cannons

[imagine snapping your fingers at someone so hard they Die]

They’re an environmental hazard for submarines.

Shrimp

Or: [if Samus Aran was a marine invertebrate]