Jason Voorhees Deserved Better

Jason Vorhees:

Michael Myers:

Freddy Krueger:

Bubba Sawyer:

Brahms Heelshire:

Billy Lenz:

Bo Sinclair:

Billy Loomis:

Stu Macher:

Pennywise:

So I’ve been blasting through classic slasher movies for the first time this weekend, including five of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, and

hm

Freddy: Your hand isn’t a gun you du-

Happy Birthday to the magnificent monarch of modern movie monsters, Robert Englund! Englund is the fearsome thespian behind the most popular spookster of the 1980s, Freddy Krueger! With a thunderous cackle and a sinister sneer, Englund’s Krueger was responsible for myriad sleepless nights. Despite his ferocity, Englund’s Krueger became a pop culture phenomenon, rivaling Mickey Mouse in popularity! Beyond Krueger, Englund appeared in many fright favorites and portrayed another iconic monster, The Phantom of the Opera. Pleasant Nightmares, Mr. Englund! 

Oh. boy.

TW: Cunnilingus, Beetlejuice is horny on main

Gender Neutral reader x Beetlejuice

You two weren’t dating

You two were just friends then

Then

It was a lazy Saturday night. Everyone in the house had just watched a movie together, and it went late, to 11. You all said your good nights and went upstairs

You were settling down in bed, in your PJs, when you hear a small knock on your door

Beetlejuice peeps his head in, looking kinda sheepish for once. His hair was a mix of light pink and light blue, an odd combination to see

“Hey. Can i- uh-“

“What is it BJ?”

“Canisleepinyourroomtonight-justfortonight-causeeveryonehastheirownbed-and i feelleftout-“ He said very quickly, not making eye contact

You broke into a smile “Sure. Why not.”

He skipped over, his face lighting up.

“Whoa whoa whoa BJ-“

“What?”

“I’ll let you in, but your musty suit isn’t allowed. Go change.”

“I don’t have any other clothes..”

You get up and open your dresser, and grab him one of your giant hoodies and some sweats. You pass them to him and point to the bathroom

He does what he’s told and moments later comes out looking like a whole snACK

the sweater was much too big for him and the sleeves went over his hands.

He crawled into bed and under the covers next to you, and rolled onto his side, facing you. He had this stupid puppy grin going on.

You smiled at him “Night.” Before turning away from him on your side. 

You turned off the light. “Night” he responded.

Everything was silent, only the shifting of the sheets could be heard as Beetlejuice tried to find a good position. Now that he was lying down, he became super restless. He rolled to one side, and then the other, then pausing, going on his stomach, then his back, then sighing loudly

You were fucking CHEESED

“Beetlejuice.” You said his name “GO. TO. S L E E P!”

Beetlejuice whimpered a little “Fineee..”

You roll back onto your side and sigh.

Beetlejuice hadn’t moved in a while. It had been a good five minutes.

You thought he was asleep… until…

You felt the blanket shift and BJ snuggled up to your back, making a small sound of content at how warm you were. He clung to the back of your shirt.

You were stunned. His whole body was pressed up to yours. You could feel his squishy tummy against your lower back.

It took a few moments to decide whether you should do what you’re about to do or not…

You ended up doing it. You rolled over to face Beetlejuice and wrapped your arms around his waist

He’d just snuggle tightly into your chest, and your legs would entangle together naturally

Beetlejuice hummed “Thanks…”

At first you were gonna be like ‘what are you thanking me for’ before you realized

Oh shit

He’s awake

“You’re a cuddly one, huh?” You whispered.

That made Beetlejuice flinch, pausing for a second and losening his grip on your shirt “I thought you were asleep”

“I thought you were too.”

There was an awkward pause of you two just clinging to eachother embarassedly

“Whatever. Goodnight.” You said, settling back down again and wrapping your arms around his waist. You pulled him closer.

He shrugged and snuggled back into you.

SMUT WARNING ⚠️

oh fucking yes i’ve been wanting to write this foreverrrrr

Frustrated, you threw your phone against the mattress, uncaring that it bounced once and promptly fell between the bed and your night-table. The video you watched didn’t help. The smutty stories you read didn’t help. You wanted anything to ease this ache in your body, anything but him, but it seemed that tonight, no substitute would do.

You had met Lydia a couple of months ago at the library where you worked. She had been looking for a specific book of poetry for a school report, and that particular poet just happened to be one of your favorites. The two of you got to talking, and when Lydia mentioned that she wasn’t doing so hot in her English class and really needed to do well on this report, you offered to tutor her. She almost always met you at the library, but there was one day when she needed to study and the establishment was closed. So you came to her house. You weren’t really sure why she seemed nervous, but you ignored it as best you could. Then a blonde woman wearing a green dress walked through the living room wall, and you suddenly understood.

Of course you believed in ghosts. You’d had your fair share of paranormal experiences, and besides, spooky things had fascinated you ever since childhood. Once Lydia properly introduced you to the Maitlands and saw how comfortable and accepting you seemed around them, she whispered something under her breath, and a third ghost had joined the party. A third ghost with tarantulas crawling out of his empty eye sockets and tiny, gaping mouths on the tips of each of his fingers, splayed in a display of jazz hands.

That was how you met Beetlejuice. With a scream and a cackle of laughter. Lydia had scolded him for scaring you, explaining that you there doing her a favor and that she needed you to stick around, and she did her best to assure you that Beej meant no harm, that he was just messing with you. Once your heart had returned to a normal rate, you smiled and pulled out Lydia’s notes; no harm, no foul. Beetlejuice had lingered in the living room, watching the two of you with an inscrutable look on his face, something akin to begrudging respect.

Since then, you had kept up your tutoring sessions at the Deetz residence, and Beetlejuice always seemed to be present somewhere in the background. You had gotten used to him, and then you had begun to look forward to his presence, to the questions he asked and the things he added; from what you could tell, he had been around long enough to have actually met some of the subjects of her studies first hand, and his perspective was fascinating. A few days ago, however, you had noticed something new. There was something different about the way he looked at you, measured and heated, curious. Like…like he was undressing you with his eyes. You had to admit, while you couldn’t explain why, every look he sent your way sent a shiver down your spine. Today, he had stared at you through the entire lesson, his gaze piercing. It had been almost too much to handle, and though you had tried to ignore it, a pulse of demanding warmth had begun to make itself known between your thighs. And so here you were, aching and frustrated and feeling more than a little guilty that Lydia’s friend, a literal dead guy, was going to be the thing to get you off tonight.

Your hand drifted down your body, trailing down between your legs, and as you thought of him, of his gruff voice and how it would sound in your ear, you moaned his name, a name that for some reason, Lydia had warned you never to use.

“Beetlejuice…”

You stroked yourself, hips rocking against your hand, too wound up to start slowly, The thoughts of his teeth, slightly crooked and pointed, nipping at your collarbones made you whimper, imagining the rasp of his stubble against your throat made your back arch. 

“Oh, Beetlejuice…”

You didn’t notice the way the air in your room seemed charged now, full of anticipation and static electricity. You whimpered, lost in the pleasure, desperate for release. The thought of his hands on you pushed you toward the edge, and you bit your lip imagining his fingers-such deliciously thick fingers-sliding into you, pumping and curling. 

“B-Beetlejuice…”

Cold fingers stroked across your stomach, the touch teasing and light, and you jolted, heart thudding in your chest, sinking as you saw just who was kneeling by your bed. There he was, the demon himself, grinning like a cat in the cream while his eyes devoured you.

“You rang, sweet stuff? Don’t let me stop you.”

Part of you wanted to hide, to pull the covers over yourself and die of embarrassment. But another part, the steadily growing part of you that had led you to this very moment, still cried out for release, for an orgasm that could only be made sweeter by his appearance. Your hand began to move again, and you turned your head into the pillow when you felt his hands press against the inner faces of your thighs. 

“Open up, babes, lemme get a good look.” He groaned, and his mouth pressed against your knee, teeth scraping your skin as he sucked a mark there. “Fuck, you look good. Been thinking about me?” Those cold fingers wrapped around the wrist of your free hand, guiding it to press against a warm, twitching, fabric-covered bulge. “I’ve been thinking about you.”

You moaned, shaking as you rubbed your palm against him and a tiny rumble of pleasure left him. “Ohh,” you whimpered, your breath shallow and racing. “You’re so hard…”

“That’s what you fucking do to me,” he growled, before you heard the jingle of a belt and the metallic rasp of a zipper. Your fingers met bare skin, still cooler than normal living flesh but warmer than the rest of him, and the both of you groaned in unison. “That’s it, baby…want you to get yourself off while you touch me. Lemme watch you make yourself come to the thought of me.”

You were all too happy to oblige his request, stroking him as your other hand brought you closer and closer to climax. You didn’t have to think about him; his grunts and growls and filthy language erased the need for imagination. Helpless, mindless, you brought yourself up to the edge, shouting his name as you finally came. His hand pressed over your mouth, palm pleasantly rough against your lips. “Ah, careful with that. Two more times and the fun will be over before it’s even started.”

Shaking, you bit your lip, nodded that you understood as the pleasure faded and you sank back against the mattress. Beetlejuice lifted your hand from him, kissing your palm as he rose to kneel at the foot of your bed. He yanked your thighs apart, tugging you down to him, before leaning up to kiss you. The taste of his lips on yours, cool and softer than you’d expected, enveloped you, captured you so completely that you hardly registered him lifting your hands above your head and tugging a strip of fabric around them, tying it tight-his tie, you noticed once he pulled back. Grinning and tipping you a mischievous wink, he slid down your body, kissing everywhere he could reach as he went.