Now that I've shed my skin, made a plan to change my life. I've only done the easy parts so far, but it's a start. Trying to see myself without a mirror and their hands over my eyes. No instruction sheet to read for assembling my life. No one told me it was going to be this hard. Had I been warned, would it have mattered? To know exactly who I am before opening the door, nothing less than emerging fully formed. But what about the process? What if it never ends? Can't you see I've never changed, grown but always been the same. Inching ever closer, bursting at the seams. The false template that was sewn for me. Cut off at the base, can I grow back new? The used-to and the will-be, all bent and strange and true. Could it be that I was in here all along, and it was okay? A lot to unlearn and a lot to forget, but a lot to remember to put myself back to the way I once thought I could be. And I'm almost ready.
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