Manners

Ever since our boss got a new puppy, we've been trying to convince her to have a Bring Your Dog to Work Day. Yesterday after being cajoled to no end, our boss finally told us the puppy needs to learn some manners first.

Remarked I, "Based on those requirements, I'm surprised you allow *us* in the office."

Tater

Him:  You okay in there? I'm hearing odd noises.

Me, in the kitchen: 

🎶Tater, tater, taters

Don't make me wait for laters

Give me mashed potaters

Now🎵

Time for Coffee

A local coffee truck arranged to come to the office. To help serve everyone efficiently, they asked us to order our beverages ahead and select a pickup time. 

I know the owner of the coffee truck, so I showed up early to say hello. We made small talk as she prepped, but I eventually needed to just let her get onto business.

I told her, "My drink is scheduled for 8:15, so I'll see you in 25 minutes!"

"Oh," she said, "that clock is an hour ahead."

"In that case, I'll see you 35 minutes ago."

Communicating with a Sick Man

The Husband is sick. Coughing, sneezing, body aches. I want to help, but he is not comfortable with being vulnerable nor with accepting help. 

It has been a struggle trying to figure out what he needs and how to get him to let me do things for him. The key, I've learned, is how I phrase the question.

👎"Do you want me to get you some cough medicine?" He says no because he does not want to inconvenience me.

👍"Would a cough suppressant or expectorant help?" He says yes, cough drops would be soothing.

After 33 years of marriage, I am still learning how to communicate with this man.

And this is why I deleted my vacation posts from Facebook

Me on Facebook: The Husband and I took a vacation that we enjoyed very much! Here are some of the places we went and some of the things we did.

My friends and family on Facebook: You passed through the same state where I live and you didn't interrupt your very enjoyable time to go out of your way and park your asses on my couch for an undermined amount of time? How dare you?!?

Chores

Note to self:

I was dead tired and wanted to go to bed, but I still managed to wash the dishes, brush my teeth, and give myself a nice, well-deserved facial in 35 minutes flat.

Tomorrow Roses is gonna be so happy those dishes are done for her.

Tonight Roses is so proud of herself she's probably gonna watch a bunch of TV and not go to bed early at all. 🤣

Random Long Distance Connection

At a Winn-Dixie somewhere in the middle of Florida, the man in line ahead of us asked, "Are you from Wisconsin?"

Several thoughts ran through my mind simultaneously. 

- How does he know?

- Am I wearing Green Bay Packers gear?

- Did he guess from my dialect?

- Wait, he sounds like he's from Wisconsin.

As The Husband and I blinked wordlessly at the man, he added, "I saw you walk in..."

- Saw us walk? Do we walk like we're from Wisconsin?

"... because I parked next to you."

Oh! He saw our licence plates. Okay.

Just a nice guy being friendly, a retiree from the midwest with tons of relatives in Milwaukee.

Game Night 2025

On New Year's Day, The Husband and I went through our game closet and separated all the boxes we wanted to keep from the ones we didn't want anymore. When we finished, only a 1/3 of the hoard went back in the closet. It was refreshing. It was tidy. We could actually see and reach everything we had to choose from.

Last night The Boys came over to save whatever they wanted from the discard pile. They each picked 3 or 4 things to take away to their own homes.

Elder Son was torn over a Scooby Doo game from his youth.

"I don't care to keep this," he said. "But I'd like to play it before I give it away."

So, that's what we did.

Appropriately, Elder Son won.

Afterwards, the boys raided the neat and tidy closet and pulled out the Sorry! game board. You know, the one with the bottle cap playing piece. We enjoyed a rowdy, loud round of unexpected twists, turns, and laughter. We all applauded with respect when Elder Son, faced with the decision of sending one of Younger Son's or one of my pieces back to Home, managed to knock us *both* off the board with one clever definition of the rules.

It was a lovely evening.

Four grown adults playing board games and enjoying each other's company. No one pulled out a phone, not even to check the time.

How'd we get so damn lucky?

Retired Folk Are Awesome

The older gentleman who lives up the street has it all figured out. Witness this:

His garage door opens, and he emerges astride a riding mower. He motors to his mailbox where he extracts a fistful of envelopes. One wide 270 degree turn in the middle of the street later he is cruising back up the driveway. He and the mower disappear into the garage, and the door closes.

Pft. Who needs a Rascal when you got a Cub Cadet?

🧶⏳️🤦‍♀️

On the Thursday before Christmas, Younger Son's life partner asked if I can teach her how to crochet.

Can I? I have been waiting only all of my life for someone to ask me that.

But there was something about the way she posed the question that made me ask a question of my own.

"Do you want to learn the basics, or is there a specific project you want to do?"

She and Younger Son exchanged a look. Oh no.

Not only did she have a specific project in mind, she wanted to make it for a Christmas gift. And not just one gift, she wanted to make several.

Okay listen.

Crocheting is not something you learn instantly. You have to practice a lot before you're good at it.

It's like learning how to decorate cakes and thinking you're ready to make your sister's wedding cake next weekend. Oh sure, you can do it, but it ain't gonna be pretty.

To her credit, she had already enlisted Younger Son's help. I had taught him how to crochet years ago, and he still remembered most of what he'd learned. The two of them found some training videos to fill in the gaps. So, she wasn't starting from scratch.

She had also found a 20 minute video showing each step of the project she wanted to make. But both she and YS had trouble following all of it.

The expectation was, I would show them the parts they couldn't pick up from the video, and then it'd be smooth sailing.

Alright. Let's see what happens, shall we?

The project was a cat-themed coaster. Which certainly could take 20 minutes to make.

The first one took 3 hours.

The second one took 2 hours.

She was able to start the third one on her own by the time I left.

I don't know how many she was able to finish in total.

This certainly wasn't the way I would have chosen to introduce someone to the art of yarn craft. There was a lot of pressure and not a lot of time to enjoy the simple accomplishment of learning and achieving. 

I hope this experience doesn't sour her on crocheting completely.

Meanwhile, she has no idea I've spent the last 3 months working on this cat paw afghan for her. I will not finish in time for Christmas. It might be a birthday present instead.