1. |
Fig Tree
03:49
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Oh fig tree
And your endless possibilities
Your fruits are so ripe
To think, what could be mine
Oh fig tree
And your endless possibilities
Each fig its own life
To think, what would be mine!
A fig tree grew in the recesses of my mind
In the bright, burning light of imagination
It’d signify destiny multiplied
And yet deep down, unfulfilled expectation
(Instrumental break)
It’s crystal clear, I’ve done so well so far,
Validation! Yet something’s not quite right
Cracks in facade, glass shattering to shards
I’m trapped in the labyrinths of my mind
Oh fig tree
And your endless possibilities
Your branches whither away
I’m paralyzed as sweet flesh decays
Oh fig tree
What were endless possibilities
Now rotten fruit fall to the ground
Can’t bear to watch my future crashing down
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2. |
Surely You're Joking
02:41
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I had to pranks to prove it
Stolen goods, hacked circuitry
A one way ticket to far, far away
Oh, how I thought myself so wild and free!
It must’ve been the way I was raised
Always craving for your praise and validation!
A gifted prodigy, I had to show it off, cuz
Who would I be without your praise and validation?!
Oh my judgmental heart
How I wanted it all
Did I want too much?
God how I wanted it all
Elitist in attitude
Always better than you
Showing off true colors
How I believed them to be!
Infected by an idea
Shrouded all in prestige
Chasing mythos,
Just to taste the shit of glory
(Instrumental break)
This is my deepest confession
I took so much pride in being told I was special
A precocious junkie for your praise and attention
Hooked and so obsessed with the fleeting pleasure!
Oh my judgmental heart
How I wanted it all
Did I want too much?
God how I needed it all !!!
Elitist in attitude
Always better than you
Showing off true colors,
What I wished them to be
Infected by an ideal
To see myself in prestige
Chasing mythos till I
realized I wasn’t who I thought myself to be
Did you really not care about what others thought of you?
Can I really say the same about me?
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3. |
The Meaning Of Love
04:57
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Bye bye
All my dreams will soon disappear
I know not when
I know not why
I guess I’ll never learn
I’ll never ever learn (no, never, never learn)
I can’t begin to know
How lucky I was
All alone,
Wondering if I dare to survive?
I count the stars
I cannot cry
I guess I’ll never learn
No I’ll never ever learn
I can’t begin to know
How lucky I was
Today was clear
Now night is here
The magic of the sun
Playing with the moon
The joy in my heart
I can’t believe it’s gone
I guess I’ll never learn
No, I’ll never ever learn
I can’t begin to know
The meaning of love
(Instrumental break)
Today was clear
Now night is here
The magic of the sun
Playing with the moon
The joy in my heart
I can’t believe it’s gone
I guess I’ll never learn
No, I’ll never ever learn
I can’t begin to know
The meaning of love
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4. |
Barren
04:53
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A dismal darkness envelops me
My heart is a cold barren tundra
Unfeeling, removed from life
Shackled in this inescapable abyss
The crispness of dawn, I experience no more
O song in my heart, where did you go?
Instead, all these voices cut me
All emanating from the
Deep recesses of my mind!
(Instrumental break)
The furnace within me has been choked
Now glowing embers burn through my throat
The winds of time cut my naked flesh bare
And there’s smoke in my lungs, ash in my veins, and tar in my brain
Sticky as honey is the air around me
To leave my bed’s to risk suffocating
It’s this sluggishness, the undying pain
That defines my existence now, and forevermore
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5. |
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I am starry-eyed and vaguely discontented,
Like a nightingale without a song to sing.
Oh, why should I have spring fever
When it isn’t even spring?
I keep wishing I were somewhere else,
Walking down a strange new street,
Hearing words that I have never heard
From someone I’ve yet to meet.
I’m as busy as a spider spinning daydreams,
Giddy as a baby on a swing.
I haven’t seen a crocus or a rosebud
Or a robin on the wing,
But I feel so gay!—in a melancholy way—
That it might as well be spring...
It might as well be spring!
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6. |
Violet
04:50
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Wrapped all around by lavender pink clouds
We found ourselves five hundred miles high
Overhead there were a million glistening stars
An endless indigo sky
We were two cosmonauts transcending space and time
And I’m so glad you’re in my life!
And I want you in my life for a very long time
Violet was my love, was my love
I looked into your eyes and the world was enough
Violet was my love, was my love
You looked into my eyes and the world was enough
Crossing the bridge together with you
Love and happiness, in stereo
Hand in hand, united spirit and flesh,
Somehow, all my anxieties had left
Cuz you met me at a strange time
With all expectations stripped away
From there, my words came naturally
And a joy so raw overtook me
As I realized how much I’ve changed
Violet was my love, was my love
I looked into your eyes and the world was enough
Violet was my love, was my love
You looked into my eyes and the world was enough
(Instrumental Break)
Oh, my prince charming, your skin shown so bright
Daredevilishly I was so quick to fall in love,
We were early rising sapphic furies in flight
Two lunatics cut from the same cloth
My heart overflowed with an uncontrollable rapture
Lost in irreality!
And I figured else nothing else truly mattered,
I wanted to be your everything
Violet was my love, was my love
With you, for a while, the world was enough
You taught me hope, and inspired in me love
With you I realized being myself was enough
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7. |
Things (Interlude)
00:39
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Things are gonna be alright, be okay
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8. |
Glowing
00:57
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Oh how you stretch me
I wanna be the best me
You embrace me in my misery
And share with me my joys
Oh how you I admire you
Already I’ve grown so much from you
You mean the world to me
I love my friends!!!
(Circuit-bent monpoké keyboard break)
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9. |
Dependence
05:32
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Your validation is so intoxicating
And your love’s a black coffee
No cream, dark as the night
Swallowing me whole
Nighttime has fallen
My heart’s now wretched
No bottle, pill, or herb numbs away my darkness
The chips keep on flowing,
But, no matter what I do
I can’t keep myself from thinking back to you
It’s so damn unfair
You’ve so much to endure
Your destructive tendencies, I wish I could cure
I know that in the morning
I’ll probably be okay
But right now my heart’s in pieces,
Can’t you see, my heart bleeds for you!
(Instrumental Break)
And oh, how we hurt each other
Claws dug in, I’m still latching on
I think back to all I’d ever said
Well, do you ever do the same?
Entire mountains, I would move for you
If I could, I’d give the world to you
Just to cast away the demons you endure
Only to forget, there live demons inside me too
Your validation is so intoxicating
And your love’s a black coffee
No cream, dark as the night
Swallowing me whole
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10. |
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Swept away by anxiety, the fog
I thought I knew what I wanted, really wanted
And had to do
Struggles in fortitude to be true to myself
I guess, I’ve yet to accept those things
I can’t control
On and on, and life goes on
Despite my fears of grief and loss
How can I bear to risk and lose their love?
(Instrumental break)
On and on, and life goes on
Despite my fear to risk it all
And be someone they don’t know how to love?
On and on, and life goes on
I must find strength to face the fall
I can’t stay still, and wilt away
No, not anymore
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11. |
Changes
05:57
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To protect my will to live, what will it take?
What shifts in perspective, and sacrifices do I make?
I don’t wanna be weak, I wanna stand tall
To metamorphosis I must give my all
I’ve neither pride nor shame
For what I didn’t choose for myself
I do what I must to live
With these cards I’ve been dealt
Life can’t be all fun and games
I think I’ve seen enough
It’s not easy, choices must be made
Deep down, I know I must.
To keep control of my fire within,
That’s gonna be the hard part
Year after year I’ve lost the reigns
And let the flames swallow my heart
Now, all I want is peace of mind,
Tempered desire
Between the flames and blistering ice
This cycle I can’t stand to bear anymore
To protect my will to live, what will it take?
What shifts in perspective, and sacrifices do I make?
I don’t wanna be weak, I wanna stand tall
To metamorphosis I must give my all
All things in life must meet their end
May my beliefs be comforting
And yet may I let go of them
When holding on stops serving me
There’s still so much life left to live
Despite the fall from skies above
Each of us has so much to give
And yet, only so much
This endless chase for validation
Just seems so sad and pointless now
Off with this mask I’ve worn so long
I wanna live life for myself
Years, I have gone through ash and dust,
Fire and rain
Though through it all I’ve grown so much,
I must continue on with making change.
(Instrumental Break)
To protect my will to live, what will it take?
What shifts in perspective, and sacrifices do I make?
I don’t wanna be weak, I wanna stand tall
To metamorphosis I must give my all
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