The Land That I Forgot

Some years ago, I engaged in a solo campaign following the events of the Marvel New Avengers comic books using a range of co-opted and converted miniatures (along with several of the better Heroclix sculpts).

The adventure saw the heroes join forces to prevent a supervillain prison break, before heading off to the Savage Land, where they encountered several dinosaurs and...nothing happened...

...until now!

Basically, the next stage of the story would have seen the Avengers ambushed by the Savage Land Mutates, but I just didn't have the appropriate miniatures.

In theory, I could have used a motley collection of beastmen and mutants, but the Mutates are a specific collection of characters and I wanted to do them justice.

Fast forward to the last few weeks and I found myself painting my Danger 5 miniatures from Crooked Dice and watching the first series again when I was reminded that the model I'd bought to represent one of the Mutates could easily pull double duty as a Danger 5 villain.

That character was Sauron.

No, not that one. This one.

Sauron is a mutant with the power to absorb the life force of others by touch, but if he absorbs mutant energy, he turns into a pterodactyl.

If this seems a silly idea, that's because it is. It's so silly that the only other time I've seen a pterodactyl-man is in Danger 5, the silliest TV show in existence.

The model is a Heroclix sculpt which took very little effort to paint, and only a small amount of boiling water to get the wings in shape.

I used another Heroclix model for the wolf man mutate Lupo. The model is actually a DC villain called Hyena, rebased and repainted grey.

Technically, Lupo seems to have some sort of white hood around his head (making him look like a panda) and white briefs (which looks like a nappy) in many images, however, not in all of them and that's enough for me. The original design for Lupo actually had him just as a barbarian type with big hair and fangs.

The final member of this trio of terror is the imaginatively named Amphibius (presumably because he's amphibious), a frog-like mutate.

The model I've used is a rather ropey Kuo-Toa from the D&D Miniatures Game by WizKids. It's spear also needed hot water to bend it into shape, and the model needed flash trimming.

Not a great result. But more than enough for my purposes.

These were more a mini project to do whilst I was printing the next house for my Venice board and I've no idea if I'll return to my campaign. But I am tempted to see if I can cobble together a few more of the Savage Land Mutates.

Acquired: -113

Painted: 506

Lead Mountain: 216

Femme Fatales

The last week or so of painting Crooked Dice miniatures has reminded me just how much I enjoy working with their clean, uncomplicated and characterful sculpts.

Sadly, this enthusiasm and enjoyment has led me to the very last unpainted Crooked Dice miniatures that I currently own.

These two dangerous ladies were acquired as part of the 7TV Heroes and Villain Kickstarter. I bought the villains pack and had plans for several of the miniatures which have been used in Freedom Force, and general pulpy/culty ways.

A lack of a plan and a failure to make decisions has kept these two ladies on the shelf far too long.

The Degenerate Monarch is clearly based on Ursula Andress' character in the 1965 film She, the immortal ruler of an ancient civilization.

Of all the miniatures I've bought, I've had the least idea of what to do with this one and so I decided to simply base my paint job on the costume worn in the movie - hence the odd combo of black, brown, grey and gold.

I'm happy with how she came out, but I still don't know what I'll use her for.

It's not strictly true to say that I didn't know what to do with this model, the Femme Fatale. She could easily have joined my pulp gangsters, she would make a good River Song in Doctor Who, could easily have joined any number of Batman villains as their moll, and I even thought about a red dress with purple gloves to make her look like Jessica Rabbit.

What kept her unpainted was indecision about the colours to use. 

However, painting up Danger 5 has prompted me to put her in black and red, similar to the Nazi girls in the series. Admittedly, the outfits are different, but she at least fits the aesthetic and can easily join the villain cast, whilst still being useable for other projects easily enough.

In addition, I've recently joined the new Carnevale Tribe on MyMiniFactory to get my hands on some STLs for the game.

Although I suspect most, if not all, the miniatures are unlikely to work on my FDM printer, I was keen to get my hands on the files for Venetian streets, as I am starting on building a proper board for the game.

I can only print one tile at a time but my first prints turned out well and they paint up quickly and easily enough, and so I'm now setting about manufacturing enough for a 3'x3' board.

I suspect that down the line there will be some variant street tiles, so I'm not going to rush to get the entire board done in the first month.

Acquired: -114

Painted: 496

Lead Mountain: 225

Victory Has A New Name

Good morning boys and girls, we have orders...

The allies are losing the war due to an overabundance of Diamond Girls, Dinosaur Men, gold-plated tanks and Kill Men of the Rising Sun.

We need a team to handle all of this, find out where our missing monuments are, investigate a brothel in Switzerland and, as always, kill Hitler.

We need DANGER 5.

If you've never watched Danger 5, everything in this blog post is going make absolutely zero sense.

If you have watched Danger 5, you'll know what I'm talking about, but it still makes zero sense.

Danger 5 is an absurd Australian TV show that features a crack team of allied agents in World War 2, but the aesthetics are of a low budget sixties spy show.

It combines this with a frankly surreal set of storylines, bizarre characters and a metric ton of visual gags. It is quite possibly the silliest thing I've ever seen.

And it's brilliant.

I've had the miniature set from Crooked Dice for a long time, but have never got round to painting them. I'm really not sure why it's taken this long.

Let's meet the team...

Tucker is the mild-mannered, straight-laced and frankly upright 'leader' of the team. He enjoys a sensible chuckle, suffers nosebleeds in the presence of freeform jazz and is deeply smitten with Claire (but too repressed to do anything about it).

Claire is the cool, calm and collected blond bombshell whose virginal charm makes her an object of desire for pretty much everyone, especially the Führer. She clearly has a brain as well as beauty, something which deeply upsets her commanding officer.

Jackson is a hard-drinking, hard-hitting all-American hero. He's prone to flying into a rage about everything from losing a staring contest to threats to Lady Liberty herself. He is most insensed by his complicated feelings for teammate Ilsa.

Pierre is a smooth Frenchman with a past and he usually knows someone in every location the team is sent to. He is an artistic soul with a ear for cool beats and is always ready to hear a dying friend regain him with a perfect cocktail recipe.

Ilsa is a sultry and volatile Russian agent who enjoys driving men wild, especially Jackson, even though she's married to Rommel. Ilsa has very little time for Claire's unwillingness to sleep with Nazis to complete a mission.

In addition to the main team, the set also includes their commanding officer, Colonel Chestbridge. It's never explained why he has a eagle's head, as he doesn't take kindly to being questioned, especially by Claire.

Obviously, every mission always includes the objective to kill Hitler, and so the Führer is included in the set too. As the mastermind behind every fiendish plot, killing him is the hey to winning the war. Unfortunately, his uncanny ability to dive through a window to escape regularly goild the team.

Finally, we have Blondi, Hitler's Dog...or is it? Could it actually be a robotic agent sent to seduce German Shepards on guard?

Yes. The dog is smoking.

Getting these painted has prompted my to watch the first series again, and it's still just as ridiculous. For me, Danger 5 perfectly captures what happens in 7TV when two players haven't agreed what casts they are bringing.

It's bonkers.

Acquired: -116

Painted: 493

Lead Mountain: 226