C. Douglas Payne Quotes

United States, Writer
July 5, 1949

C. D. Payne is an American writer of absurdist fiction who is best known for his series of novels about fictional teenager Nick Twisp. They are called the "Youth in Revolt" series or "The Journals of Nick Twisp." Payne was born in Akron. He graduated from Harvard College in 1971. He then moved to California and lived in a trailer in Santa Monica. He has worked as a newspaper editor, cartoonist, typesetter, graphic artist, proofreader, photographer, advertising copywriter, trailer park handyman, and carpenter

Also known as Author

I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives.

C. Douglas Payne
- People
- Temptation
Now I know why women get their ears pierced. Once they've survived this ordeal of mutilation, they can face the discomforts of childbirth with equanimity.

C. Douglas Payne
- Women
- Why

Do you suppose the human race invented boredom to make the prospect of death more palatable?

C. Douglas Payne
- Death
One of the tragic consequences of divorce is that the kids are legally obligated by the courts to spend a fixed amount of time with their dads. In normal families, dads and children happily ignore each other.

C. Douglas Payne
- Time
- Children
- Kids
Confession can be good for the soul, but it can exact a heavy toll on friendships.

C. Douglas Payne
- Good
- Soul
- Friendships
I take it, then, Vijay, you are still a virgin?'Yes, and I find it extremely galling. When Gandhi was my age he had already been married three years.'No wonder Gandhi turned out to be a great man. When you get your love life nailed down that early, think of all the time it frees up to devote to Great Ideas.

C. Douglas Payne
- Life
- Up
- Time
Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one’s groin greets each day with such a gala spectacle of physical optimism?

C. Douglas Payne
- Hope
- Morning