Letter writing snobbery

Penfriendship is a wonderful thing; connections across the globe makes the world a smaller place, making me care more about natural events in case a postal friend is affected- floods, forest fires, wind, earthquakes... The uniqueness of people; their lives, hobbies, interests, families... Can get to know people by the written word. It can be a façade, but the written word tends to come out of thoughtfulness, slowed by the flow of ink (or graphite) across the page. In typing, on computer or touchscreen, autocorrect may get in the way. Words appear quicker, maybe even angrier, and less thoughtful, less kind. How many electronic messages have been typed and sent in haste? I know I'm not immune.

I don't take much notice of etiquette guides: these are relics of the past, when misogyny was not considered wrong, a woman couldn't open a bank account on her own, wife-beating was allowed (but not between 10pm to 7am in case it disturbed the neighbours) and the ability to withdraw consent was removed on marriage. You do NOT need expensive heavyweight papers for genuine penfriendship, nor is a fountain pen a necessity. You don't need to have master penmanship nor need to do calligraphy. A letter can be a work of art, mail art, written on almost any paper, lined/plain/dotted/square, monogrammed or with  motif or without, adorned with stickers and photographs and washi tape. 

But, none of that matters if what is written is wonderfully thought out, meaningful. It is the words that matter the most; it is the purpose of the letter. Kind words written on a serviette in a cafe are still kind words. Fuck Off! written in calligraphy on expensive paper is still Fuck Off! no matter how well written (certain bits of this sentence are in a text colour matching the background, so if you really want to see two words, one beginning with F and the other with O....).

On social media, I have come across letter writing snobbery. One post linked to an etiquette guide and complained about not being able to get fountain pen friendly letter writing paper. I'm afraid that is poppycock; the person must be in a very uncivilised part of the world otherwise. I receive a wide range of letters, from college note-taking paper (taking fountain pen ink rather well), to Santoro, to Diddl, to Basildon Bond, to Clairefontaine Triomphe, and others: they are great. To me, it doesn't matter if the paper is lined (some prefer that is it helps the writer to write straight), or having holes punched down the side to go in a ring binder (if I use this, I tend to cover the holes with stickers).  It doesn't even ,matter what writing implement is used - fountain pen, dip pen, gel pens, rollerballs, ballpoints, pencils... yet to receive one in crayon though. 

Snobbery also haunts another associated hobby - philately. On stamp messageboards, there's sad news about 2 philatelists, men, of a good age, passing away, but very little sadness around the death of another philatelist - a woman, aged 34, who was the managing director of a stamp auction house. She was so young, so full of life, so full of colour and adventure. She touched me postally with a few postcards, with humour. Punk Philatelist wrote some words about her at https://punkphilatelist.com/2025/02/02/vale-constanze-dennis-the-greatest/

Christmas wind down.

A week now until Christmas Day, and as a snail-mailer, I am starting to wind down. I still have a few domestic letters and cards to send out, so will try to get those out in the next day or two, via second class. A headline in today’s Sunday Times newspaper reads, “Undercover footage shows Royal Mail leaving letters on the shelf” and this includes letters marked NHS, various governmental post, bills; so there is no point in using first class stamps domestically. A first class stamp costs £1.25, and a second class stamp is only (!) 75p. Maybe I will use a combination of older but still valid stamps to make up that second class postage rate.

After the mad rush, I expect by Tuesday, I’ll have finished all my festive mail. I may still write a letter or two especially if able to post by Friday afternoon. Although there should be a postal collection on the Saturday: the collection time is early morning from my local postboxes (no earlier than 7am says one), I think it is better to assume nothing will be collected until Wednesday, the next postal day.

5 days seems a long time then to be able to post a letter (I don’t like leaving post for long periods all alone and cold in the box), or receive any. Perhaps for the letter writer who communicates with friends mostly through snailmail, it could feel quite lonely. There’s nothing wrong with writing a letter and holding onto it for days before posting, but then, maybe I’d change my mind about what I wrote, or maybe a cup of tea will get spilled across.. I had been about to start a Christmas card when my hot cup of tea spilled across, drowning the card, the cover of a notebook I had the card on, some loose stickers, stamp sheet selvage, and the tail end of a roll of washi. Desk tidy still in progress.

I have a few localish friends I see in town who travel by bus, who live alone. Their villages might as well be in the middle of nowhere;  there’s no social gathering place nor shop. No or poor Sunday bus service, and again same for bank holidays. A long time to be isolated. At least I will have some family with me. 

I shall still be thinking about letters. I am planning to reorganise my stored letters. Maybe even those where correspondence has not continued. I can’t remember the names of everyone I have corresponded with since I restarted snailmailing in 2007. 16+ years of letters, some stored in fancy “shoe” boxes. 

I will finish tidying my desks, and drawers/boxes of stationery. I have become a bit of a stationery hoarder (also books too). 

I do have a used stamp collection I could organise some into a new stockbook. Stamp hinges are horrid things!  No idea how many of those I licked and affixed stamps to my worldbuilder album over 35 years ago! However, most of the more recently acquired stamps have brought letters to me and remain on the envelopes. 

Musings for the new year, 2023

Snail Mail, the sending of letters through the post may seem outdated in the digital & internet age, but there are people finding doing this offline activity enjoyable, and stress-reducing. The analogue nature, the wait for the response adds to the relaxing nature of the hobby. Letters can demand to be answered but usually there is not the urgency that emails command. 

How do we attract new people to the hobby, when there is a cost of living crisis? As I type, to send a regular letter within the UK costs 68p with a second class stamp. What else can you get for 68p? The cost of stationery used for a letter can be mere pennies. You don’t need expensive paper, nor costly pens to write a letter. You don’t need to use papers specifically designed for letters, though when I have bought such sets (paper with matching envelopes), the ratio of sheets to envelopes is wrong for my requirements (2 pages of A5 is not enough, and these writing set sheets are mostly decorated on one side, and/or perhaps the other side is not suitable for writing on). Then, there are notecards, but for longer missives, paper needs to be added in. 

Maybe letter writing is an excuse for some people to use their fountain pens. It was someone associated with the fountain pen industry who started the February letter writing project called InCoWriMo, where participants write a letter every day in the month. A way to practise penmanship, cursive handwriting, or even calligraphy. The latter is more of an art form rather than a flow of words. 

But this can give the impression letter writing is a snobby hobby! I have received letters written with fountain pens worth over £1000. Does that make those letters worth more than ones written with cheap ballpoint or gel pens? No. It is the words / content of the letter that matters to me, but if writing with a nice pen brings joy to the writer… I’m all for that. 

How do you find penpals? There are various penpalling sites out there, both more traditional sites, and places on social media. I have tried a few, with very much a mixed success. One size does not fit all. My way of snailmailing may not suit everyone. It may also take you time to find your style as well. Friendships take time, and may not work for everyone. How many people in your classes at school would you refer to as good friends then, and how many of them now? 

When I started this blog, there were several more snailmail blogs. Now, there aren't that many regularly updated. A shame. Everything seems to be on Instagram, with pretty pictures, rather than words and something to read & engage the mind. I'm tired of the algorithms social media use making it harder to see what I want to see and so I missed out on many posts by penfriends & other snailmail people I was following. Pictures, images, instant gratification. And as for the birdplace, well... that is another kettle of fish.

Snailmail is not an elite hobby.

Stationery on Sunday. Sympathy cards

We suffered a bereavement earlier this month and this got me thinking about sympathy/condolence cards. I went into a local card shop and had a look at their selection. While the front of the cards were mostly tactful, I didn't like some of the fluff written inside.  

The card below was sent to me, and had a great sentiment inside - "Sometimes in life there are no words, so sorry for your loss"

Another card I received had on the front, "We all grieve in our own way. We all heal in our own time." and the printed message inside was, "Sending caring thoughts to comfort you today."

The very last bit of a poem, When Great Trees Fall, by Maya Angelou:

They existed. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.

At the moment, I am at a loss for words, unable to pick up a fountain pen and write, be it a diary/journal or a letter. The person I lost was a letter writer for most of her life. Towards the end, she was unable to even pick up a pen, having arthritis.... she had such beautiful handwriting, much neater than mine...

Stationery Sunday #3

I write almost all of my letters these days with fountain pen ink. I regularly look at the various fountain pen/ink online stores to see if there is anything I would like. The answer is generally yes, but I refrain and restrain myself. 

However, I am seriously considering the red inkvent calendar from Diamine. I have seen short reviews of the inks in it and I am rather impressed & taken by the colours. But, as you can see from the picture above, I bought the blue inkvent calendar in 2019 and still haven't tried out all the inks. Should I take the plunge? I cannot risk running out of ink, what would I use to write letters with then?

Stationery Sunday #2

Autumn has arrived in Wales. A perfect time to use some seasonal stickers, such as these fungi. I do also have some autumnal washi tapes I can use as well. Do you like to decorate your letters with seasonal stickers/tape/drawings/ephemera?

I think I will use one sticker in the corner of this plain paper later tonight, when I write a letter. 

Fungi are very much in season. October 2nd was UK Fungus Day. We didn't make it to an organised fungal foray, but have recently been out and about the countryside. 

Stationery Sunday #1

 I am a bona fide stationery addict. I love fountain pens, and inks for them; I love paper, both jolly designs and plain papers for me to decorate.

I still love stickers, but is it too early to use Halloween stickers? Maybe, maybe not!

More Musings on snail mail, partial repost

Postage - do not cheat/defraud the postal authorities by using insufficient or invalid postage. A postage stamp can only be used once of sending an item of mail. If it has been postally used but remained unmarked, it is still not valid for postage. Also, many of the stamps offered for sale on ebay are NOT valid for postage, and some may even be forgeries (and could this even fund organised crime?). 

Royal Mail does have a reasonably accessible postage price finder on their website. I expect other postal authorities do too... Facebook groups have so much misinformation.

Seeing photos of snail mail on social media can be good for inspiration, discovering new ideas, and show that letter writing is not dead. Please, please do hide/obscure/blur the other person's address. UK postcodes are very specific and with the house number, it is just revealing as leaving the rest of the address. 10 / SW1A 2AA is the minimum needed for one iconic London address with a black front door.  Please do NOT share someone's address without their permission. I know I have on occasion, not realised an address was visible in a post.... and when I do realise, I remove the post. I feel utterly mortified I have not been diligent. Addresses can be out there in the public domain, but that doesn't give you good grounds to share them. 

As for sharing the contents of letters, the writer of the letter has more leeway. Incoming letters, the juicy contents shouldn't really be shared without permission, but the odd word or phrase... e.g. the date, greetings/salutations... maybe could be - you want to show off someone else's gorgeous (or not so neat) handwriting, or the ink they've used, ... It is a judgement call. A few years ago, I planned to do a blogpost on handwriting (not calligraphy), on the different styles of handwriting the letters arrived in. I did start preparations, so have photographed some common words (Dear, the date, Thank you for your letter, United Kingdom), but have yet to complete a post on it. 

Today's date is 11/02. What? 2nd of November? Much better to avoid confusion and write out the month. 

It does not matter if the letter cannot be finished in one sitting. I don't worry about pausing letterwriting, even after a short time. I do hope to have finished the sentence I am writing if I have to pause. I have started letters while writing for a friend on a night out (oh how I miss this). I am usually able to finish a sentence/paragraph when she turns up. 

It does not matter if you do not reply to letters in order of receipt. The content of some letters may demand a speedier reply than usual, or you need to delay a reply because someone is moving address and wants to get settled. People have their own rhythm. Mine tends to be a reply within a month of receipt. Occasional letters are fine too. Penfriendship doesn't have a set timetable.

The writing medium does not really matter. Paper meant to be written on, be it lined or blank or dotty or wavy, or with punched holes down the side and used by students to take lecture notes on (a school friend penpal wrote to me during her lessons), or reporter's notebook with pages on a spiral, or even actual letter writing paper. 

Embellishments, including stickers, washi tape and whatnot are not vital for a good penpal letter. I do use them myself though, because embellishing brings me joy. I cannot draw so some of the stickers can illustrate for me instead.

It doesn't matter if the letter is written with a fountain pen, dip pen, or ballpoint. I admit I find it easier to use a fountain pen as the ink makes the words flow across the page. 

The words matter! The content matters.

If you do not keep the letters/envelopes, consider saving the used stamps for charities (as they can raise money from sales to dealers/stamp collectors). There are plenty of charities in the UK raise some funds this way.

Letter travelling times may be slower than usual... One letter from France to the UK took 2 days in January, but a letter from the same person posted in June, only arrived this week! I'm not one for asking, "Did my letter arrive?" after only a few weeks/months. I know life/events happen making snail mail not a priority. However, sometimes a short missive, either postal or electronic, can make a big difference.

You can't be penfriends with everybody. Personalities can clash, beliefs can collide, or you just don't click. Penfriendship, like friendship, can wane... How many of you are in close contact with your best friends from primary or secondary school, or the neighbourhood you grew up in?

With the February letter writing projects, where you may receive letters from strangers, you might not feel able to reply to some of the letters. I know years ago before the Internet was more widely accessible, you could place an advert in a newspaper or magazine. One letter I received was from someone in prison (death row), and I didn't feel able to reply to it (I was a youngish adult), so did not reply. Other letters you might want to reply with a thanks (either via electronic message of some sort, or via the snail mail) even though you may not want the correspondence to continue, and that is fine too.  Though sometimes perhaps, you don't know if you want to continue or otherwise. Perhaps there's hope. Maybe something happens, a word is said or a place is mentioned, reminding you of a letter you received a few months ago and spurs you on to reply. Perhaps an occasional correspondence. There is hope. Life happens, stuff happens. Time. Patience. 

A to Z of Snail Mail, part 2

 N is for Notecards, notelets for nice correspondence.

O is for Outgoing mail, missives sent on their way. Once they arrive, they'll need an object to open the envelope(s)

P is for Postbox, fed with Postcrossing Postcards with nice Postage stamps on perhaps bought from a Post Office, the missives written in pen or even pencil allowed. Paper, penpals, penfriends, post, postie perhaps a Postman Pat...

Q is for Quarto sized paper for writing quality missives to penfriends, written in Quink ink with a quill while having a quiet moment, before wrapping it up and standing in the queue at a post office counter (because you want to use the new issue of stamps out that day).

R is for Replies to letters, and for Royal Mail as I'm in the UK! 

S is for Stamps for postage making stationery not stationary. 

T is for Tape, decorative or otherwise. I use tape to help seal up letters.

U is for Universal Postal Union (UPU), and for those in the US, there's the USPS. 

V is for Valentine's cards, as some are sent in friendship.

W is for Wax seals

X is for letters sealed with a kiss. XXX

Y is for Yours in Friendship, as a way of signing off a letter. Yours, Your Friend.....

Z is for Zip code, without one, letters to the US wouldn't get there! 

A to Z of Snail Mail - part 1

 I thought it would be fun to do an A to Z of Snail Mail. Easier said than done. Needed help & suggestions! 

A is for Address book, and also for Air Mail, Air Mail labels, aerogrammes, anticipation...

B is for Box of postcards, Best Wishes...

C is for Christmas cards sent by penpals, but also for cartridges fountain pens might use, calligraphy, and correspondence can contain caring and compassion.

D is for delivery, Diamine inks, and letters bring delight.

E is for envelope, and no matter how hard you push, it is stationery. Excitement & enlightenment.

F is for fountain pens. 

G is for General Post Office.

H is for Home (address), handwritten letters, and handwriting.

I is for ink, and also InCoWriMo, and international mail....

J is for Jolly letters written in J. Herbin ink (other inks are available). 

K is for the Kindness found in many letters, written perhaps with Krishna Ink.

L is for Letter, letter writing, letter writing paper, Lamy fountain pens & ink, letter openers, letterbox, and Love from..

M is for Mail, both incoming and outgoing missives mailed...

Part two later, but feel free to comment with your suggestions. Haven't gotten ideas yet for some of the other letters...

The end is nigh, of 2020 that is.

Well, I don't think there are many people who would want to prolong the year (except to rewind and then do things differently).. but there have been good moments. I have continued to write letters throughout the year. Savings from not going out as much, meant I could spend some money on my main hobby, that of letter writing. I bought some more stationery associated with snail mail. 

I have been enjoying using wax seals. These are some of the new ones I have bought this year. There are more!

Then, there is also washi tape, and stickers. This is one of my latest purchases and I have yet to use this. I will, I promise!

And then, there is the writing implement and fluid. Here are just a couple of my new pens, and also one of the inks I purchased. I really am impressed with this particular ink. 

The cost of sending a letter has increased. Postage has increased. It increased at the end of March, and again in early September. And now, to start off 2021, it rises again. There isn't really much choice but to use at least the correct postage. I cannot imagine my world without being able to send letters and postcards. Although post this year is not getting to all destinations. 

So, in preparation for the postage rate increase, I have ordered some stamps from Royal Mail. First class stamp now is 76p, but come the 1st January, it will be 85p. Other prices can be found in this leaflet, or on the Royal Mail website. I really hope we don't get stung by a second price rise in 2021 at the normal price rise time of year (usually end of March). 

 

Carried away

A delivery of wax seal heads came yesterday. I set them out with some of my other wax seals and it suddenly dawned on me that I had gone overboard. I don't think I will cancel the order of more different seals made this morning, but I think I should restrain myself. After all, for snail mail, it is the letter itself that counts. The words matter more than the oodles of washi tape, stickers, fancy writing papers, fancy pens, fancy inks, fancy wax seals, fancy postage stamps. But I do like to use them, they bring me joy, and relaxation choosing how to decorate the letter/envelope, how to show postage paid. Maybe just as colouring-in books for adults have taken off and promote mindfulness, maybe the adornment of snail mail is mindful for me.

With February coming soon, and international correspondence writing month / a handwritten letter every day / a month of letters, I shall enjoy using the new stationery purchases, as well as old. Still no news on any of the main websites for the project, but there is some activity on A World of Snail Mail - the forum, and Facebook group. I'm sure there are other websites out there for their own mini versions of the project. 

19th January 2020 edit - LetterMo has been updated. 

InCoWriMo-2020 preparation

I have been thinking about International Correspondence Writing Month, where I will be writing at least one handwritten every day, and it will be a month of letters. However, none of the usual sites are ready. incowrimo.org has not been updated. incowrimo-2020.org looks to be delayed (but is in progress), and lettermo.com has technical difficulties. So, where else can I get my fix for that month? At the moment, one forum has been getting ready for the missive madness, and that is A World of Snail Mail and many of the members have participated in the February letter writing projects before.

Myself, I'm preparing by making sure I have plenty of letter writing paper. I have a lot but some is stored away. Maybe I need to bring some of that into rotation, from bright/colourful/cheerful designs to plainer but still nice papers.

Stickers, yes, need them, they can be used to brighten up some plain papers. Some of the stickers can illustrate better than what I can draw!

Envelopes - some of the postcards I might want to enclose will not fit in the standard C6 envelopes, so I will need either to buy some (there is a crafting shop I've bought 5 x 7 inch envelopes before), or make some (maybe with my We R Memory Keepers board).

I had to clean out some fountain pens, and filled them up, but may have to do this again towards the end of the month as I am still writing letters. The two pens below look to both have orange-ish inks in but only one of them does, the other ink is pink.

Also this month, there's a new issue of postage stamps, celebrating the UK's part in video games, so last century. Worms and Lemmings are to name 2. I shall probably get some, but I'd best get there first thing on the day as that post office won't get that many in.

I do like to use the nice postage stamps where possible. They cost the same as postage labels and Machin stamps so why not go for something that would also bring a smile to the recipient's face (as well as the enclosed nice letter...). If the recipient doesn't want to keep the stamps, then many charities accept the used ones as a means of raising money (and they would possibly get more money for the commemorative stamps than ordinary definitive ones). 

I do like finishing off the envelope with a wax seal. There are so many designs you can have, not just initials (I use the initial for my first name, not surname). 

Do I have my own rules and guidelines for snail mail?

One size does not fit all, but there are a few rules and guidelines I think should be applicable to all. Here are my rules and guidelines:

1) Postage - do not cheat/defraud the postal authorities by using insufficient or invalid postage. A postage stamp can only be used once of sending an item of mail. If it has been postally used but remained unmarked, it is still not valid for postage. 

2) Seeing photos of snail mail on social media can be good for inspiration, discovering new ideas, and show that letter writing is not dead. Please, please do hide/obscure/blur the other person's address. UK postcodes are very specific and with the house number, it is just revealing as leaving the rest of the address. 10 / SW1A 2AA is the minimum needed for one iconic London address with a black front door. 

3) When writing the date, use the name or accepted abbreviation for it, rather than the number. Date conventions differ. 1st February is not the same as Jan. 2nd. 01/02.

4) It does not matter if the letter cannot be finished in one sitting. I don't worry about pausing letterwriting, even after a short time. I do hope to have finished the sentence I am writing if I have to pause. I have started a letter while writing for a friend on a night out. I am usually able to finish a sentence/paragraph when she turns up. 

5) The writing medium does not really matter. Paper meant to be written on, be it lined or blank or dotty or wavy, or with punched holes down the side and used by students to take lecture notes on (a school friend penpal wrote to me during her lessons), or reporter's notebook with pages on a spiral, or even actual letter writing paper. 

Embellishments, stickers, washi tape and whatnot are not vital for a good penpal letter. I do use them myself though, because embellishing brings me joy. I cannot draw so some of the stickers can illustrate for me instead.

It doesn't matter if the letter is written with a fountain pen, dip pen, or ballpoint. I admit I find it easier to use a fountain pen as the ink makes the words flow across the page. 

The words matter!

6) Of course I want to hear from you sooner rather than later. However, response time doesn't bother me. I like to reply to letters between a fortnight and month after receipt, having slowed down from within a fortnight. Life happens. I know some penpals take a month or more to reply, that is fine. Penpalling is supposed to be a hobby and therefore an enjoyable pastime. If pressurised, it can feel like a chore and you could get burnout. InCoWriMos/LetterMo/Write_on, the February or April letter writing projects, can overwhelm people and drown them in correspondence.

7) If you do not keep the letters/envelopes, consider saving the used stamps for charities (as they can raise money from sales to dealers/stamp collectors). There are plenty of charities in the UK raise some funds this way.

8) You can't be penfriends with everybody. Personalities can clash, beliefs can collide, or you just don't click. 

What do you do when you find you cannot write a reply to someone? Is it easier to not say anything? Or do you write to tell them (via snailmail or even via electronic messaging)? I haven't had to make this decision for a while, but I find myself in the category of not saying anything. It may be because I do not feel like writing to them at the time but maybe in the future I will be able to. There is hope. Life happens, stuff happens. Time. Patience. 

I think that is it for my rules/guidelines. 

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I have been away a couple of times helping my mother. I came across a few things while there. The town I live in had a charity shop for Tenovus but I had never heard of it before then. I didn't realise that it was a well established charity, even featuring as a slogan postmark in 1968. 

My mother was a letter writer to friends and family, in the UK as well as overseas (mainly Australia). The letters have been mostly shredded but she kept the stamps on paper. I brought back this many with me. 

My dad liked covers, including first day covers. This is one I have of his - the inauguration of the car ferry between Southampton and Le Havre - 19th July 1964. I don't think I have taken this particular crossing across the Channel, but haven been sailings from Folkestone, Dover and Ramsgate, arriving at Oostende, Zeebrugge, Calais and Boulogne (not respectively). 

He also had penpals (like father like daughter, eh!). I don't know what happened to the letter inside (shredded, perhaps). I looked up the sender's name and discovered an online obituary. This person's special interests had included corresponding with pen pals all over the world!! That sounds like me! I think I would like that in my obituary! 

 So, what have I been doing recently? I have been buying even more stationery. I bought quite a few earlier this year from Paperchase in the sale. I like the jolly and cheerful designs. The main complaint though is that the paper allows you to only write on one side of the sheet, but sometimes that is a good thing as the designs will hide your writing and it won't show through cheap white envelopes. 

This was bought at Birmingham New Street station's Paperchase last month (I was travelling by train - and yes, I did take the opportunity to get some letters written on the train). However, I wouldn't be able to use scented stickers on letters to every penpal (some have allergies & intolerances I wouldn't want to exacerbate).