i've reached the point of living where my music turns to noise it may not be all i'm giving but it seems i have no choice i'm too tired to contain it from the winding path ahead too tired to run from the existential dread another year is passing while another takes its place spending minutes in the mirror looking at a broken face growing older as I'm asking when the pain will leave my head unable to hide from the existential dread insanity consuming that which I have come to be so harshly unassuming of the fate bestowed to me thrashing wildly in the darkness in a silence cold and dead too frightened to scream through the existential dread a twisted repetition too abhorrent to escape this hell's become my home now cruel depression taking shape damn this downward inner spiral its wicked fires burning red ensnaring my mind in the existential dread it's time to truly face it i will let the dread set in as i'm starting to embrace it the recovery begins with the stories i've encountered and the paths i've yet to tread there's no turning back

I couldn't watch you kill yourself any longer. I cut the ending where you watched your world die. I'll be restoring what you lost- and you will not stop me. There was a heart here, and we heard every beat of it While we were sleeping every night, unlike you- So I will be bringing back the day, and you will not stop me. And I understand if you thought it meant nothing at all, But as long as a soul could be heard through a song full of life, you can't fall. So it's here, The peaceful end Of the night Begins again- Let your broken spirit run Towards the comfort of the sun So the ice inside you Will melt indefinitely- Try to set your sights for The world that you wish to see. We'll try to help in any way we can. We couldn't watch you fall apart any longer- Everything vanished in a blink of an eye. Repressed behind walls of solid glass and sorrows too costly. You put your love and your remorse into everything- Stories and memories spanning centuries wide, And you could've halted everything- BUT YOU HAVE NOT STOPPED ME. The sun through a window makes even small differences count; If the stillness of night can't appease talking walls in a room, then step out. And it's here, The vocal end Of your fears Will rise again. It is time To take control Of that world Within your soul, So the wrath inside you Will stop indefinitely- Until then, envision The world that you wish to see. And we will help in any way we can. And we will help in every way we can. All your pain will come to pass- So I reject your grim collapse. The signal's sent, and you're too late- Use our voice to change your fate.

"What do you think "trust" means to you?" "... If you want an honest answer... I don't know anymore. Many think it's the ability to share secrets with as much privacy as possible... Some see it as confidence in one another... Others may look at it as a tool- To gain new favors, while discarding old ones... The definition grew more convoluted as time went on... And I'm lost for what to even make of it." "And... What if I told you that "trust" can also mean "hope"?" "I'd call you crazy, of course. But I know that what you're saying is true. ... You ever think that they may be misguided... for holding on to that much hope? "Obviously not." "And why's that?" "Because I know they're trying. If not for themselves... Then for you as well." "And what if that hope was built upon years of a flawed structure? Like... If they had breached that trust, but they had been breaching for years... What then?" "I'd... be upset. This can't be avoided, unfortunately. Best thing you could do is to let go for the moment." "... It still hurts, though. I feel like I can't let go of something that's been in my life for that long. I feel like... this could also be the reason that I refuse to believe that things turned out the way they did. It's moments like these where I hate myself for not being able to accept the changes of the world around me." "Then you could try accepting yourself... for who you are." "?" "Before you can find acceptance elsewhere, you must look within and love yourself." "And if I can't? If this hatred still resides?" "Then this won't be the last time we talk. I know your journey is far from over. You're not as weak as you say you are, but even I see how exhausted you've become from this dehumanization. You'll find me again. And I will be more than happy to help you." "I hope someday you will."

DURING THE DAY I WILL INVADE YOUR WHOLE LIFE FEEDING UPON YOUR BROKEN HEART TO SURVIVE AS I INFEST YOU SLIP INTO THE MUNDANE WHILE I EXIST TO MAKE YOUR WORLD'S MATTERS WORSE DURING THE NIGHT YOU'RE CHOKED AWAKE AND CAN'T MOVE I LOSE CONTROL BECOMING YOUR SUFFERING DROPLETS OF ME COLLIDING WITH YOUR OPEN SCARS APOLOGIES CANNOT REMOVE PARASITES TIME WILL TELL FOR SURE DURING THE DAY REGRET WILL NOT PROVOKE CHANGE THE ACT WAS DONE SO WE WILL LIVE LIFE AGAIN AND YOU PRETEND LIKE NOTHING CAUSED YOUR FOUL MOOD AND WHEN WE'RE THROUGH WE WILL HAVE SAID OUR GOODBYES DURING THE NIGHT I'M IN YOUR HEAD, IN YOUR THOUGHTS I TAKE CONTROL PROLONGING YOUR SUFFERING VISIONS OF ME SWERVE IN A DANCE INSIDE OF YOU ANOTHER HUSK EMBRACING THEIR PARASITES BURSTING OUT IN WRATH YET WHILE INSIDE THIS VOID, YOU'RE CRYING TOWARDS THAT PSYCHOPATH WHO WATCHED WITH GLEE WHILE YOU WERE DYING BURSTING FROM YOUR SHELL THE END RESULT OF MY INFECTION LIFE TO LIVING HELL NO MEANS OF COMFORT OR PROTECTION DEATH WITHIN MY GRASP MY FINAL MOMENTS FILLED WITH SORROW LEAVING FAR BEHIND THE REMNANTS OF THE LIFE I BORROWED EMERGED

keep walking don't lose that balance focus on anything but the floor move forward like you're expected was this the life that you bargained for? keep going, ignore the hurting even if everything hurts a while things happen, not much to do now- haven't you figured out how to smile? the winds of repression escaping your lungs built from the fallacies of trying to pretend- where is the voice that you gave to yourself if the remorse could choke it out of you again? keep walking just keep walking just fight it soldier of metal looking as durable as a stone but time will leave rust to settle and slowly decay through your wooden bones no structure left to contain you lessened to smoke and dust in the dark no spirit left to sustain you the ashes of forced restraint leave their mark the winds of repression escaping your lungs built from the fallacies of trying to pretend- So where's the compassion you promised yourself when you endured a hell that never seemed to end? keep walking

I thought I could stay here To find some acceptance and make up for what was lost I tried hard to conform But out of confusion, they kept distance in their hearts (Inward disruption of a heart that wouldn't bleed) Was I wrong this whole time? I wanted to coexist with that crowd at any cost; But life's what they define- The quiet presumptions are what kept us all apart (Patience subsided, cold indifference received) I can't escape The disdain in their face All fears ignored Like all other times before I move outward with fear The morals and structures that they built would slowly fall Time-worn buildings held firm Against a horizon with warped clouds behind it all (TRAPPED BY CORRUPTION, FAR BEYOND OUR MISERY) AND ONCE DARKNESS CONFINES THE VERY EXISTENCE THAT THEY SAID THIS HOME WOULD BE, WHAT THEY FAILED TO CONTROL BECOMES THE ATTENTION OF THEIR ANIMOSITY (WE FALL DIVIDED FROM THE LIES THAT WE BELIEVE) ONCE THEY ERASE (I THOUGHT THAT I WAS DOING WELL) THE FACADE THEY EMBRACED, WHAT I ABHORRED (TOO MANY FACES HERE TO TELL) SHALL BECOME MY FATE ONCE MORE i thought that i was doing well once prevailing- too many faces here to tell if mine's unveiling there's nothing left for me, they say- that i should leave alone; until time says i've grown they'll reinforce their lies (did you forget what you had done to make your life the manic hell that they assumed was "kept under control?" you can't escape- I won't relent; nothing will come between us now, try as you will, soon I'll be taking hold. thousands of years will have elapsed until you find you're not to blame for what they all thought they could reprimand but there's no end to ignorance no true reprieve from selfishness until you see the actions from your hand using your skill to form a wall between yourself and what you've done for anyone who ever cared for you using your voice to scare them off and memories to keep them in you disrespect the accurate and true all that you had will turn to dust so long as I remember all and help refresh the echoes of the brain until you feel the grief you must confront the hate regain your trust I will persist to cause you further pain) i thought that i was doing well but i'm failing cast from their world, stuck in my shell with tears still trailing why won't my anger fade away? and how could i have known the feelings i have shown are what they all despise? i can't help what they presume i am (Why did I think I'd be seen as their friend?) they can't fix what they won't understand (Who can blame them; i just complicate their rules- i disappoint these people in the end) Capable enough to adapt Yet liable enough to fall behind, but i'm Capable enough to adapt Yet liable enough to fall behind, but i'm Capable enough to adapt Yet liable enough to fall behind, but i'm Capable enough to adapt Yet liable enough to fall behind, but i'm FUNCTIONING ENOUGH TO ENDURE YET FRANGIBLE ENOUGH TO STALL IN SILENCE, I'M FUNCTIONING ENOUGH TO ENDURE YET FRANGIBLE ENOUGH TO STALL IN SILENCE, I'M FUNCTIONING ENOUGH TO ENDURE YET FRANGIBLE ENOUGH TO STALL IN SILENCE, I'M FUNCTIONING ENOUGH TO ENDURE YET FRANGIBLE ENOUGH NOT THE FIRST, FAR FROM THE LAST- SILENCED ALL THE SAME.

i refuse your help; stay away all i hear are lies, deceit, and shame wonder why i doubt you all this way- would you even care if i stayed? why don't i run, like a life depends on running? i should just run, as though the heart needs blood to flow- must let go, i know rearranging fate with frail hands; shouldn't fall apart if i still stand have to learn to live within your brand, that i'm the one who fails to understand that i just run, from the thunder overwhelming- take off and run, as though the legs know where to go, in the lightning's glow (quietly wishing i never stayed) so scared when everyone is laughing (hoped the distance would keep them away) over-dramatic and depressed (prayed that my instinct would not betray) insulted through those voices clashing (found all too late that nothing had swayed) on love misheard for righteousness (several years of strife stuck on replay) this struggle's only second nature (can't conceal the fear within my face) to those who live it all their days, (doubting that i'll ever be okay) they'll pay no mind to how you're treated snide when you're defeated gone when you've been cheated I NEED TO RUN, (SEVERAL YEARS OF STRIFE STUCK ON REPLAY - RUN AWAY) IF I WISH TO KEEP ON LIVING (CAN'T CONCEAL THE FEAR WITHIN MY FACE - RUN AWAY) PUSH THROUGH AND RUN (DOUBTING THAT I'LL EVER BE OKAY - RUN AWAY) IF BLIND SURVIVAL'S WHAT I CHOSE, (NO ONE CARES IF I RETREAT OR STAY, I'M-) FROZEN, FAWNING, FIGHTING TO RUN I'LL PAY NO MIND TO DECOMPOSING BRACE MYSELF AND RUN IGNORING WOUNDS STILL LEFT EXPOSED- A BROKEN HEART DISPOSED I keep stumbling over myself while I'm trying to run I keep falling right over myself, it's a habit to run I know I'm disappointing myself if I cower and run I can't try to believe in myself when I'm desperate to run IF IT'S INSULTING TO STAND FOR MYSELF, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME RUN? IF IT'S OFFENSIVE TO DEFEND MYSELF, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME RUN? IF IT'S OPPRESSIVE TO PROTECT MYSELF, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME RUN? EXHAUSTION SPREADS AND THE APATHY RENDS THE ATTACHMENT UNDONE.

[part I: cornered again] (instrumental) [part II: limit] i hide behind this wall whenever I am scared; too aware to reconsider the futility of life- gone through hell and back to give much of a care, and what clarity remains has been pulled outward like a knife This coexistence isn't something that sustains- You complain about my uselessness when all attempts were made I could feel the lack of mercy in your veins And the shame that washes over me as feeling starts to fade (We don't accept you) couldn't you leave me alone? (Could you shut up and let me try to help you) i have been everything that you wanted i've done all that i could to atone (Become what you'd regret) it must not be enough if it's haunting us. the tarnished memories of people weigh me down while i question inconsistencies of those i thought i knew; seldom saw the faces through their blaring sounds; couldn't tell if disappointment was portrayed or misconstrued- and i remember every limit of my mind- can't pretend like i've done nothing when all i could do was try. i have grown to hate the things i can't confine, when these weaknesses are things that will remain until i die. THEY BROKE APART THE DISGUISE I HAVE WORN ILLUSIONS HAVE TORN THE WORLD AROUND ME CAN'T RESTART IF MY COVER IS BLOWN MY FLAWS ARE ALL SHOWN AND CROWDS SURROUND ME SINGLED OUT AS THE DIFFERENT ONE EACH ONE OF THEM SHUN ME AS THEY'RE BREATHING I TRY TO SHOUT BUT THEY CHOOSE TO IGNORE THE CONSTANT IMPLORING OF THE GRIEVING- WHAT AM I? (I'M IN DISGUST FROM THE THINGS THAT YOU'VE SAID WHAT HAVE YOU BECOME, THEN?) WHAT AM I? (FORGET YOUR PAST, FOR IT ALL REMAINS DEAD REACH OUT FOR THE SUN, FRIEND) WHAT AM I?! (YOU'RE STILL OF USE, I REFUSE TO SUBMIT THIS STORY ISN'T OVER THERE'S NO EXCUSE- I REFUSE TO SUBMIT THIS STORY ISN'T OVER) [part III: reaching] falling forward reaching conclusions, aching from your self-made delusions, you can't blame us for your confusion; your words inflame us- cause disillusion you stand still, but we're all adapting; pushing through, though you're still distracting one day you'll embrace the perspective of those who held you at your most defective until the moment you can say to us all that you can face all of the darkness and the dread, you must understand that this bottomless swirl is just a dance we learn until we lead ahead try not to interpret a negative view of the solutions you receive and face the sky- the world will provide you with answers that help in your dependency for peace as time ticks by but if we can't expect you to try, then keep walking.

and so it's come to this coping in vain, to be let down again we've fought enough today why should we lie when the feeling won't change? it can't get worse from here back on the ground, nothing lower than this if only they could see this hell we've made isn't where we belong are we truly alone? no getting through to them dancing in loops, the exhausted collapse conflict ensnares their goals no easy task to direct how we live the past repeats itself those who don't learn will surpass these mistakes don't follow in the steps of the misled, saying 'you can't belong' are you truly alone? keep the love you can hold keep the love you can hold