I'm an animal now

by Eamon Fogarty

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Includes "I'm an animal now" on 180-gram heavyweight vinyl, pressed in the Czech Republic using recycled "eco-mix" feedstock and stampers expertly cut at Dubplates & Mastering in Berlin, Germany. The record is inserted into a black poly-lined sleeve and housed along with a lyric sheet in a full-color offset-printed jacket in matte finish.

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card
    Download available in 24-bit/48kHz.

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
It never hits like a headline More like a scrap from some fucked up ordinary Floating your way across rivers and mountains Junk mail from an alternate reality I learned the name for a feeling And now I can taste that there’s blood on every table Every word now haunted by how it might be changing The tang of iron was unmistakable I went back to the country New life was burning through the birch trees My brother’s kid was playing I heard what she was saying Some changes don’t happen over centuries
2.
Strolling the rows I can’t help but notice the names on the bones Scratched out in stone The wasp and the conqueror the worker, the drone Pick out the doubters among them By the height of the spire By their brimstone and fire Miss me with all of that nonsense Oh the poison’s the same But the Kool-aid has long expired I say this as though I’m any more certain How anything goes Circling above I hope that’s an eagle but deep down I know It’s always a damn turkey vulture you can tell by the wings how it teeters and swings Time was I’d not know the difference Oh that question is gone But a few more have stayed on lingering Give it some time A mountain’s a goosebump A skull is a shrine Call me a lion I’m hoping somebody Makes honey in mine
3.
Camera Man 05:13
This is not my normal Wearing pagan formal Naked in the valley’s vein Moonlit, blitzed, and gleaming Boy, I’d rather be dreaming Out of body, in my lane I remember how that fire lit the trees caught your flashing’ eyes and jellified my knees Me, I thought I knew you Knew which mysteries drew you there’s no mystery left to me Heels of hands on eyelids Pictures blooming in blindness What I’ve seen won’t let me be Now I’m sorting through those chances to be brave Forming negatives I’ll take into the grave Sorry camera Absent man
4.
You used to want for nothing That’s not to say you were not poor Your wild imagination Was the blood on Egypt’s door You’re rushing in for gold Bodies waterfall and fold The world has you surrounded Gotta love the way you’re told Sleek and small, little Berlin Wall Between me and all the pigs and pearls All the same, get it in my brain I cannot contain this much love Ooo my my my You passed me in the subway I wasn’t sure but then I saw That flash or recognition And then the instinct to withdraw My world is all around me If I’m a dog at least I’m free Sleek and small, little Berlin Wall Between me and all the pigs and pearls All the same, get it in my brain I cannot contain this much love Ooo my my my
5.
Aduantas 04:53
Nobody wrote down How many times he was sick On the passage to Boston I’d like to know though That and the sound of streets He would shortly get lost in What I wouldn’t give for just a photograph or two Pity he could not afford a camera Even all the colors of a modern day machine Could not contain the strangeness of America What of the moment Far enough inland When the salt smell faded to background Nothing familiar But sewage and billiards And the same lonesome feeling of all crowds Pushing through to find the place his cousin had arranged Tomorrow he’ll be filling in the Back Bay Would I even recognize the grain of my own voice If I could hear the song he sang on his way “I stepped aboard a vision and followed with a will” “Shoulder to shoulder Crammed into trenches There was no hope escaping that anger All of that fighting To put blood down in writing But the dirt’s never worth what they wager If they ask, just tell ‘em that I died in both world wars There’s more to learn from solving your own mysteries Leaving you with nothing was the best I could afford With no imagined friends or so-called enemies”
6.
Which Stars 04:21
Whose entrails are you reading lately? Which stars are yours? Forgiving all the freaks and babies It’s hard I know The hate is so ingrained in me I can’t just let it go I’ll try though I finally found the faith to fake it In bars at shows The definition of a friendship It starves and yet grows I’m seeking out the seekers so We all know what it looks like To be hollow I’ve started liking my job I get to keep the world haunted I’m a blood-powered machine Keeping consciences clean Why would you end a good war When everyone is so gorgeous There’s too much too explain It cannot be made plain The hate is so ingrained in me I can’t just let it go I’ll try though
7.
Freeze, hold it there Love hangs like music, dissolves in the cold air Coughing cars and people taking tea The rain was like the year’s back breaking Wait! Let’s move on It’s getting late - We can hear more about it tomorrow But what if we sleep in and it’s all gone, What if we admit our dreams were wrong What if that happened? What if that happens to me? Parked on the hillside Our city of dreams Everything shimmering exits and arteries But none of it’s for me and that’s ok Everything’s for free in its own way Show - Never tell Go - Straight to hell but don’t leave me unfinished Not that I would know how finished feels Not that I’ve been sleeping at the wheel Not that that happened Not that happens to be
8.
Limbs 03:24
Limbs cool Heart rates drift back To earthly levels The salt of our work We’re every time born again rebels Two balloons Bright and dumb against Nothing The gradient blue The colored illusion of nothing Empty as the young world Hollow as the earth Filling, as a song Back to school Hearts racing to Nowhere The harbor of blood The holy regatta in thin air When we die Neither will cry
9.
Is this wedding bed a grave? Opened early before it’s time? Break the ground then, let it breath It works for wine And it suits me fine. All the stars might still go black All the rivers laugh their last At least you’ll know I’ve got your back You’re all the future I need I will go where you lead I’m nothing without you I was nothing before you I’m an animal now When you go away for work All my habits come undone I stay out late and drink to drink Well it isn’t any fun Making pancakes for one I’m nothing without you I was nothing before you I’m an animal now

about

For the last decade or so, Eamon Fogarty has been quietly rearranging the singer-songwriter idiom to suit his singular vision. Singer-songwriter, that clumsy appellation, is the best that the vocabulary of genre offers for approximating what he's up to on I’m an animal now, his stellar new album, but it still falls woefully short. His compositions meander along their own imagined byways rather than hew to standard forms. Their instrumentation has nearly as much to do with chamber music as folk or rock. There are hardly any choruses as we’ve grown accustomed to recognize them: by the time Fogarty reaches a melody’s reprise, he’s traversed so much thematic material in the interim that a new lyric follows more naturally than a repeated one. The songs search, continually, rather than offering tidy resolutions.

You might think of it as somewhat difficult music, in that composing it was surely a challenge, and it never condescends to the idea that listeners need bright signposts to show them when and how to sing along. Yet loving I’m an animal now is quite easy. Singing along, too. Fogarty’s voice is an enviable instrument: full and resonant, with articulate edges, and a rousingly romantic quality that surges particularly in his upper register. When he reaches for a high note, the effect is like that of some rakish protagonist beckoning you to follow as he rounds his tale’s next corner. He has a real way with matching verse to melody: the sort of singer-songwriter who can make a phrase like “junk mail from an alternate reality” sound positively mellifluous, so closely do the syllables hug the turns of the tune.

The lyrics are epic travelogues, quotidian snapshots, and fragments of dreams, all wound together. Fogarty composed his past albums mostly in solitude, but for this one he opened up his process, soliciting and incorporating feedback from loved ones and fellow musicians while the music was in progress. Their advice strengthened his faith in his own intuition, encouraging him to incorporate lines that he’d previously considered as arbitrary placeholders into the songs’ final forms. “It’s almost always coming from the subconscious goo,” he says. “There are phrases where even you as the writer don’t know what they mean, but they mean something. Those are kind of the mysterious core at the center of whatever question you’re trying to sing through.”

One repeated image in the cavalcade of crowded bars, teetering turkey vultures, bright balloons, and Berlin Walls that make up I’m an animal now’s text is that of the camera. It’s an apt motif for an album whose songs often seem concerned, on the surface or deep in the subconscious goo, with the futility of attempting to record and preserve the ineffable detail of lived experience. As Fogarty puts it on the stunning “Aduantas,” a ballad about some young man’s long-ago journey, which recasts the erasures of assimilation as an opportunity to re-enchant history and the everyday: “What I wouldn’t give for just a photograph or two/A pity he could not afford a camera/Even all the colors of a modern-day machine/Could not contain the strangeness of America.”

Fittingly, the music’s particular richness can be tricky to pin down through the lens of references to more familiar artists. There’s a pungently Beatle-esque chord change not long after the line about America in “Aduantas,” which tells you a bit about Fogarty’s harmonic knowhow but less about the way the song actually sounds. Asked for his own lodestars, he offers some unexpected ones. There’s King Crimson, particularly their pastoral psych-pop classic “I Talk to the Wind,” which informs the woodwind arrangements that hover and swirl over several of I’m an animal now’s songs. (Jeff Tobias of Sunwatchers and Modern Nature, who played the woodwinds, is one of a small crew of outside musicians who contributed to an album that Fogarty mostly played himself: the others are Nora Predey of Austin band Large Brush Collection, who plays bass on “Wild Imagination”, and Ryan Jewell, of too many great recent psych-leaning projects to list, on drums.) Robert Wyatt is cited for his commitment to taking his audience seriously, never shying away from musical or political complexity. JJ Cale influenced the economy of instrumentation, which remains delicate and intentional even as it swells toward grand climaxes. The music doesn’t much outwardly resemble Cale’s, but the late, great Tulsa guitarist might have appreciated something in Fogarty’s own nimble playing, whether the fingerpicked strut of “Camera Man” or the jabbing leads of “Which Stars.” To that list of comparisons I might add Grizzly Bear, for their ingenious use of non-rock instruments and their ability to balance songwriting and sound-sculpting without giving either short shrift.

Fogarty stresses what he sees as the smallness of the songs, which feel like stories shared between peers, full of private vocabulary and friendly asides, rather than missives handed down from performer to audience. “The feelings are not intended to fill stadiums,” he says. “I don’t really know what kinds of feelings do fill stadiums, and I don’t know if I want to have those feelings, necessarily. Because I feel like only bad things happen in stadiums.” He pauses for a beat. “Except for maybe Bruce Springsteen concerts.”

I’m an animal now may seem daunting at first, but it will work its way into your heart quickly if you let it. Its elaborate structures and sidelong narratives carry not a whiff of pretension; there’s something hard and honest about them, apparent even when you’re not quite sure what it is this guy’s singing about. Fogarty writes these songs, you sense, because they offer the truest way he’s found of expressing himself.

(Words by Andy Cush)

credits

released June 14, 2024

Harmony singing on tracks 4 & 8 performed and recorded by Hannah Frances.
Harmony singing on tracks 2 & 9 performed and recorded by Will Stratton.
Clarinets on tracks 1, 3, & 5 performed and recorded by Jeff Tobias.
Drums and percussion performed and recorded by Ryan Jewell.
Guitars on tracks 5 & 7 recorded by Eamon Fogarty in Alpine, TX.
Fretless bass on 1 & 6 and fuzz guitars on 6 engineered by T.J. Masters.
Electric bass on track 4 performed by Nora Predey.
All other sounds were captured by Don Cento at Centones in Austin, TX.
All guitars, piano, fretless bass, double bass, melodica, banjo, fake mellotron, and real synthesizer performed by Eamon Fogarty.
Songs and arrangements by Eamon Fogarty, copyright Moon Silt Music.

Mixed by Chris Schlarb at BIG EGO in Long Beach, CA.
Mastered by Michael Hammond at Figure 8 in Brooklyn, NY.
Lacquers cut by Dubplates & Mastering in Berlin, Germany.
Artwork and Layout by Tom Alexander Henry.

Special thanks go out to:
Alex Dupree for providing a space to record in Alpine TX, and for teaching me how to be a better bandleader and songwriter,
Jeff Johnston for letting me borrow his double bass for an indeterminate period of time,
Sam Hernandez for lending me her typewriter,
Sarah Schultz, Nora Predey, Romàn, T.J. Masters, Matt Kivel, Summer Wood, Ben DuBois, Adam Busch and all of the Austin music people who helped me get through the last few years, and Becca, without whom, as the song goes, I would be nothing.

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Eamon Fogarty Brooklyn, New York

Eamon Fogarty is a singer, composer, and multi-instrumentalist who lives in New York.

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