Circaa

by Emily Afton

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Circaa began in 2020 as an experimental EP for alt-pop songwriter Emily Afton, but unexpectedly became the second full-length studio album through which she has redefined herself as an artist, yet again. Produced by Peter Labberton, James Jackson, and Patrick Aguirre, this layered 12-song compilation explores themes of self-realization, liberation, and loss through the lens of a queer breakup and the major global shifts which took place in the wake of the decade. The idea of peeling back layers and connecting to what's underneath is an unwavering theme, which Afton implores sonically and lyrically in a lush, atmospheric world of indie-electronica.

    The name for the album originated from a flower dictionary which Afton found online while researching Floriography (also known as "the language of flowers"). After finding the name "Circaa" written next to a one-word definition: spell, Afton started using the word as a temporary title while finishing the album. Later learning that this word was, in fact, a misspelling of the flower genus Circaea (or “enchanter’s nightshade”), Afton decided it was meant to be— It is a world of its own, with a name belonging to nothing but a compilation of spells about society, self, and love.

    Circaa is set to release October 24th on Afton Records (Emily Afton’s independent self-titled label) with a co-headlining vinyl album release show at the Rickshaw Stop in San Francisco. Stay tuned for West Coast tour dates and more from Emily Afton!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Circaa via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Download available in 16-bit/44.1kHz.
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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card
    Download available in 16-bit/44.1kHz.

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
Old Love 03:19
OLD LOVE I always thought that I was different I thought to love was to be anguished Because I split myself in fractions Sent different versions of me running In the daylight I can feel her In the nighttime I dream of him Can anybody really hold two hearts In your hands without one slipping And you, you make me feel brand new And you make me feel an old love, that's true And you make me feel brand new And it makes me feel an old love too An old love A new city, a new feeling And I’m working through my demons And I tried to have it all and lost it ‘Cause you can't have everything and nothing So who are you when you run out of love Will you find it When you don’t have enough Or will you go get it from somebody else Instead of learning how to give love to yourself And you made me feel brand new It made me learn something that’s true The oldest love I never knew It made me feel my own love too My own love My own love I'm feeling very strange Because my lover’s meeting with another lover But I’m not allowed to complain because I have one too and he’s on his way But when he comes will it be erased Will all my feelings be held hostage While she goes out on her date And sinks into another woman’s soft embrace I feel I’ve lost a sense of me now I feel my greatness seeping out so slowly What if I cant handle all the pain Of being open and I'm showing All my weaknesses, please save me Please offer an escape Is the only way out the end, ‘cause I’m not ready The only path is to befriend it To love myself is the greatest ending
2.
Make 04:09
MAKE Why are you always running away Well get gone Why are you always stuck in this phase You could be done I know that you’re running to stay Stay out the sun Baby I don’t want you to change But become I hear that you’re gunning for fate Baby I’m gone And I just can’t keep up with the chase And it’s long I know that you’re searching for space Space in these songs Baby I don’t want you to change To belong (Can you really run) I could see you’re run down (baby can you outrun your own self now) I could see you’re run down (baby can you outrun your own self now) I could see you’re run down (baby can you outrun your own self now) I could see you’re run down (baby can you outrun your own self now) I’m so tired of running away Why are you always running away And writing sad songs Such a tired trope Such a lost soul Pitiful, should have known all along This life is all you had So why don’t you make something beautiful for the world Without a motive Why don’t you fall in love and tell the world All about it Why don’t you set your stage Without a curse Without a deed or debt to pay I know its so much harder than To dream, but the first step is stepping babe I could see you’re run down (baby can you outrun your own self now) I could see you’re run down (baby can you outrun your own self now) I could see you’re run down (baby can you outrun your own self now) I could see you’re run down (baby can you outrun your own self now) So why don’t you make something beautiful for the world Without a motive Why don’t you fall in love and tell the world All about it Why don’t you set your stage Without a curse Without a deed or debt to pay I know its so much harder than To dream, but the first step is stepping babe
3.
FREE (FEAT. TAUWOO) You say what are you wanting If we’re not asked how could we ever know How could I hear the voice inside If they want me hunting Following the trail that they laid for me, what if I don’t go Being lead by something I want to feel something (something that) That feels real (something that) I feel like they don’t want you to know Come on Something that Something that Something that Feels real You say what are you wanting If we’re not asked how could we ever know How could I hear the voice inside If they want me counting Counting the coins that they gave to me But never really owned Being lead by something, I want to feel something I want to feel something Something that Something that Something that Feels real
4.
Summer Love 03:22
SUMMER LOVE I know I have a reserve of strength somewhere Even if I don’t feel it all I need to find it, I need to reach for it Because this has made me weak And I know that I am not But you fucked me up Summer love I guess we were just a summer love The kind that I’d remember And the kind that you’d forget Summer love I guess we were just a summer love The summer never ended it for me But for you it did For you it did Maybe you’re wrong Maybe you’re wrong about me Maybe you’re wrong ‘Cause I will come around like I will come around like the spring that’s just begun Maybe you’re wrong Maybe you’re wrong about me Maybe you’re wrong ‘Cause I will come around like ‘Cause I will come around like a seed that’s found the sun Summer love I guess we were just a summer love The kind that I’d remember And the one that you’d forget Summer love I guess we were just some kind of love The summer never ended it for me But for you it did For you it did
5.
IF THERE IS GOOD Hey I thought I saw you Remember Remember me? You were praying by By the alter Of some figure Was it godless of me? To feel empty inside To feel your heartbeat and feel nothing Because of those graceful lies You said you’ve got will Now I’m praying for your life The same way you did Did for mine But if you found Your mind Is simmering in the night And if you’ve got good Intentions than I I’ll follow you through, through that fire And pain can be kind And kindness can be cruel And love can be unwise So just listen in Inside And if there is good Then let it be found Yeah if there is good, let it be loud And if you’ve got needs Then say them out loud Yeah if there are needs, then make them found
6.
The Hounds 03:26
THE HOUNDS I want to feel both held and free I want to feel both held and free Why’d it take me so long to find out Why’d it take me so long to find out I want to feel what’s underneath I want to feel what’s underneath Why’d it take me so long to find out Why’d it take me so long to find out You’re running, running fast with the hare And hunting with the hounds now And if you have to choose truth or dare Then choose your truth that’s out loud You’re running, running fast with the hare And hunting with the hounds now And if you have to choose truth or dare Then choose your truth that’s out loud Said you wanted it all Said you wanted it all Said you wanted it all, well this is how it all feels babe Said you wanted it all Said you wanted it all Said you wanted it all, well this is how it all feels babe I want to feel both held and free I want to feel both held and free Why’d it take me so long to find out Why’d it take me so long to find out You’re running, running fast with the hare (said you wanted it all) And hunting with the hounds now (said you wanted it all) And if you have to choose truth or dare (said you wanted it all) Then choose your truth that’s out loud (Said you wanted it all) You’re running, running fast with the hare (said you wanted it all) And hunting with the hounds now (said you wanted it all) And if you have to choose truth or dare (said you wanted it all) Then choose your truth that’s out loud Said you wanted it all Said you wanted it all Said you wanted it all Said you wanted it all
7.
Bio Clock 03:08
BIO CLOCK I feel My bio clock ticking My bio clock working I feel that there’s something I feel that it’s humming I feel that I’m hungry I’m hungry for something I cannot explain I feel (I feel) My bio clock ticking (I feel that it’s someone) I feel that it’s working (I feel that it’s coming) Working against me (I feel it outside me) My body’s a vortex (I feel it outside me) My body’s a space ship (I feel it inside me) My body’s a portal (I feel it inside me) My body’s a machine (I feel it outside me) I feel that I’m summoned I feel that it’s something I feel that it’s coming (I feel) And I cannot stop it (will it be someone ) I gotta move something (something is coming) Move something through me (I feel it outside me) I feel it come through me (I feel it outside me) I feel it come through me (I feel it outside me) I feel it come The road that leads you home The road that leads you The road that leads you home The road that leads you The road that leads you home The road that leads you
8.
Collide 03:38
COLLIDE You got a way with me I'm sorry I couldn’t be what you wanted I got away from things I'm sorry I couldn’t be more honest So can we be open tonight I want to show you the world in my mind Don’t want to give up our fight But to find a new way to try So can we collide Before we hit the ground I’m trying to fly This parachute within myself I got away from me I couldn’t see all I needed and I’m lost Now I’m drowning in dreams The ending’s only just a coin toss So can we be open tonight I want to show you the corners I’m hiding Don’t want to give up on trying If we don’t jump we’ll never fly So can we collide Before we hit the ground I’m trying to find This parachute within myself I’ve been in a tunnel lately This brought me so down, I’m not saying goodbye But there’s something I’m following now Shut the blinds I’m going inside Follow the sound now There’s a path I’ve denied I’ve got to see for myself now I'm drowning in dreams And life is just a coin you toss in the stream and then I I’ll follow the sign Follow the sign Follow the sign So can we collide Before we hit the ground I’m trying to find This parachute within myself
9.
Chances 03:58
CHANCES In the backseat blushing From accidental touches Conversations, no words involved Granite moved to grasses Shadows overpassing Summer could never last long enough And I don’t know how to feel But I’m taking my chances With questions unanswered And I don’t know how But it’s real All that I’m feeling Not fleeting, not leaving So tonight I’m done I’m coming home to where you are And I don’t know why It’s so easy Caught up believing Our lies Thought it was forever Youthful naive pleasure Built to burn but never last Now we call each other Late night undercover Let it ring until the feelings pass And I don’t know how But I’m here Living this life and I’m fearing Of losing all sight of what’s real Of all that I’ve given Not fleeting, not leaving So tonight I’m done I’m coming home to where you are And I don’t know why It’s so easy Caught up believing Our lies What if lies aren’t bad if there’s truth to be had What if I couldn’t find this in any other way What if fantasy’s real, this reality stealing our chances at fate So tonight I’m done I’m coming home to where you are And I don’t know why It’s so easy Caught up believing Our lies I’m caught up believing our lies (What if lies aren’t bad if there’s truth to be had) Caught up believing our lies (What if I couldn’t find this in any other way) I love to believe in (What if fantasy’s real, this reality stealing our chances at fate I love to believe in our lies)
10.
RUNNING OUT OF TIME Who are you, did you come to be my teacher You know I love a good maze but it’s deeper Deeper than what’s on the face of this Why are you making me chase you, is Is this a game, ‘cause I think I’m running out of lives to play You’re running out of face, you’re running out of time I’m losing all my grace, we’re running out of tries If we can’t get it right now What makes you think that things will change themselves I’m running out of phases, we’re running out of time Baby where'd you go when you go from me The words we shared are filled with lead and they are sinking in We keep circling 'round and 'round Darling I’m about To fall to my knees I’m trying but I’m floundering Baby, how do we find the key You’re running out of face, you’re running out of time I’m losing all my grace, we’re running out of tries If we can’t get it right now What makes you think that things will change themselves I’m running out of phases, we’re running out of time Girl I don’t know why we always seem to go around Girl I don’t know why we keep coming back to this ground Baby I’m holding on to the one thing I can’t allow But I don’t want to let go so I’ll just keep running (why do you always keep running back into my life) You’re running out of face, you’re running out of time I’m losing all my grace, we’re running out of tries If we can’t get it right now What makes you think that things will change themselves I’m running out of phases, we’re running out of time
11.
SOMETIMES I WISH I COULD Sometimes I wish I could Erase you from my body Sometimes I wish I could Cut you out my memories Sometimes I wish I would Listen to myself better than that Sometimes I wish I could Listen to myself a little at best But you know you filled a hole I didn’t know I had And you know you’re just a ghost A ghost lying in my bed And you were, you were, you were You were always just a lie You know I can’t and I won’t Stop believing if I tried Trying to decipher between what’s true and not true is getting to me lately Trying to decipher between what’s true and not true is getting to me lately Trying to decipher between what’s true and not true is getting to me lately Trying to decipher between what’s true and not true is getting to me lately But you know you filled a hole I didn’t know I had And you know you’re just a ghost A ghost alive in my head And I know you so much better I wonder if you even know me at all I wonder if you even know me I wonder if you even know me at all I wonder if you even know me But you know you filled a hole I didn’t know I had And you know you’re just a ghost A ghost lying in my bed And you were, you were, you were You were always just a lie You know I can’t and I won’t Stop believing if I tried
12.
Your Window 04:26
YOUR WINDOW Saw into your window In my head How long have you been hiding Feels like forever there And I’m feeling like a baby in my own skin Wondering how I got so far away from everything Sometimes I don’t know what I’ll do until I’m doing it How could anyone plan around me, I’m careless as the wind And I’m worried about tomorrow and how sad I’ll be If I don’t to get to see your face, babe these hours are playing tricks on me I’m so tired of questioning everything around me yeah I’m so tired of questioning everything around me yeah I’m so tired of questioning everything inside my head I’m so tired of questioning everything I’m hoping there’s a lady Who I respect Growing in my heart, one day I’d love to see in her my reflection Maybe she’s a mother, or maybe yet She’s made it as a star I guess I’ll never know until it happens I’m so tired of questioning everything around me yeah I’m so tired of questioning everything around me yeah I’m so tired of questioning everything inside my head I’m so tired of questioning everything

about

'Circaa' is the second full-length album from Bay Area/San Diego based alt-pop songwriter, Emily Afton.

credits

released October 24, 2024

Circaa was recorded by Emily Afton, Peter Labberton, Patrick Aguirre, and James Jackson in Los Angeles and Oakland, California. It features additional production and instrumentation by Kevin McCann, Cory Tauwoo, Akiyoshi Ehara, Van Jackson-Weaver, and Lauren Elizabeth Baba.

It was mixed by Peter Labberton (Tracks 1, 2, 7, 10, 11, and 12) and Patrick Aguirre (Tracks 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, and 9). All songs were mastered by Tess Greenham at Clearlight Mastering.

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