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Hell's Kitchen/Season 5

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Hell's Kitchen is an American cooking reality show based on the British program of the same title, where Chef Gordon Ramsay puts aspiring chefs through different challenges and dinner services to decide who is the best.

Episode One [5.01]

[edit]
Gordon: And the name of the dish is what?
Danny: Mahi Gone Bananas, chef.
Gordon: [tastes the dish] It looks like you've gone slightly bananas. It's hideous. Back in line.
Danny: (interview) Ramsay's definitely just looking for a rise out of me, which he's going to eventually get.
Gordon: So the idea came from where?
Danny: I just pulled it out of my ass, sir.
Gordon: Put it back in there because it sucks.
Gordon: Who's cooked the diapers?
Colleen: No diapers, sir. That's chicken enchiladas with poblano cream sauce. My name's Colleen.
Gordon: Corinne.
Colleen: Colleen.
Gordon: Corinne.
Colleen: COL-leen.
Gordon: What do you do for a living?
Colleen: I am a culinary instructor and I own a recreational cooking school.
Gordon: And were you a trained chef before you set up a school?
Colleen: No, I am not a trained chef.
Gordon: So you're not a trained chef, yet you teach chefs to cook.
Colleen: That's correct.
Gordon: How much do you charge?
Colleen: 300 per three to four hours.
Gordon: Right. Look at the size of it.
Colleen: I feed big Nebraska boys. Would you like me to get you a bite?
Gordon: No, I'll bite it myself. [tries dish, spits it out]
Colleen: Okay.
Gordon: You seriously charge $300 to teach people how to make that crap?
Colleen: Y–Yes, chef.
Gordon: I feel like I need some plastic wrap on my arse.
Colleen: (interview) It was extremely difficult to just stand there and to keep my mouth shut! (to Gordon) I teach manners, too, chef.
Gordon: Say that again?
Narrator: Cooking instructor Colleen not only offered Chef Ramsay a dish he didn't care for, but an etiquette lesson as well.
Gordon: Okay, please, Miss Manners, fuck off back in line.
Gordon: It looks like lamb chops on a bed of ratatouille.
Seth: Uh, that's mine, chef. (interview) To be like Chef Ramsay is my dream. I've read his books, I've visited his restaurant in Manhattan. I think we have very similar styles.
Gordon: How long have you been cooking?
Seth: Fifteen years around.
Gordon: And what is it?
Seth: Cinnamon crusted rack of lamb with a(n) aubergine ratatouille.
Gordon: The ratatouille, what's in there?
Seth: Tomatoes, onion, tomato sauce, tomato paste.
Gordon: [spits out food] How come the aubergine's so sweet?
Seth: There's some honey, uh...
Gordon: Honey in a ratatouille? Uh, is that normal?
Crowd: No, chef.
Gordon: That's the worst dish I've ever tasted. [Seth laughs] Fifteen years to cook that shit and you're laughing. You could make history on being the fastest exit in Hell's Kitchen. And I'm fucking serious, you know that. Back in line. [Seth goes back in line] The quicker you understand how serious I am, the quicker you'll cook better.
Seth: I'll try harder next time, sir. (interview) I thought it looked all right. I think my presentation was good. I know it's a good dish. I got to prove to him that I can cook my ass off.

[Lacey and Coi are arguing during prep. Gordon approaches Coi]

Gordon: What's the matter?
Coi: This station is fucked... up.
Lacey: Come on, Coi.
Coi: (to Lacey) Don't say a fucking thing. (to Gordon) I come over here, there's nothing fucking done, chef. Nothing!
Lacey: (to Coi) Now why don't you tell him that you're threatening me.
Gordon: (to Coi and Lacey) Oh, wait. Right. I'm just about to open the doors, okay? Don't panic. I'm not asking you to be lovebirds, okay?
Coi: Absolutely.
Gordon: Calm down, get a grip and show me some form of composure, yes?
Coi: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, my God!
Gordon: On order six covers, table 20. Two spaghetti, two scallops, one risotto, one Caesar. Entrées, three wellington, get them in!
Robert: [shouting over Gordon] Ben you guys, get going!
Ben: I'm coming! I'm coming!
Gordon: Hey you. Hey fuck-wit, Come here you. Come here! I'm calling out an order and you just shout over.
Robert: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: You fucking call out the order then. You fuck, FUCKING call out the order!
Robert: I need one Caesar, two scallops, one risotto and two spaghetti now! (interview) Yeah, give me the reins man! Let me drive this bitch!
Gordon: You fucking interrupt me again next time, you're going for an early bath.
Robert: Yes.
Gordon: A big one in the hot tub!

[Gordon checks on scallops brought up by Danny]

Gordon: Danny? Come here, that's you. Overcooked scallops, let's go. It's not exactly rocket science.
Danny: Well obviously, chef. [angrily slams his pan; Gordon gives him a dirty look]
Gordon: (to Danny) Hey you, come here, you.
Danny: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Okay, can you cook like a team member?
Danny: I'll wash their station and my station, chef.
Gordon: How about communicating with them?
Danny: I did, chef.
Gordon: Don't fucking dare start getting fucking pissed with me. Is that clear?
Danny: Chef, yes, chef.
Gordon: Good. NOW JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
[power supply shuts down]

[Gordon looks for spaghetti in the Red kitchen]

Gordon: Where's the other spaghetti? [notices Colleen starting a fresh spaghetti in a dirty pan] Madam, come here. [gets Colleen's pan] You're starting a fresh one in dirty pan!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh!
Colleen: (interview) The pan that I've already used and I didn't have the chance to wipe it. I felt like an idiot.
Gordon: You teach people how to cook! [slams the pan down on her station]
Colleen: We have no more pans, chef.
Gordon: [gets some pans from Andrea's station] Look! Pan, pan, pan!
Colleen: Thank you, chef.
Gordon: You're going to start a fresh spaghetti in a dirty pan! Holy crap!!
Narrator: Seth is hoping to score high marks with his first entrée.
Gordon: Why's it all fucking mangled?
Scott: He didn't have it ready, and then he sliced it and seared all the chops.
Gordon: Hey, Forrest! Come here you.
Seth: (interview) Ramsay, he keeps calling me "Forrest" as in Forrest Gump. I think it's a great name!
Gordon: You didn't cook it properly temperature wise, so you decided to buckle it and bastardise it. Now you're really having a laugh, yeah?
Ben: (interview) Man, this poor lamb chop just got charred. No excuse for that first lamb.
Gordon: Would you get excited to come here and eat that shit?
Seth: Absolutely not.
Gordon: Yeah, fuck off, will you?
Seth: (interview) Listen, I screwed up the lamb, but at the end of the service, Gordon and I will be like peas and carrots once again!
Narrator: It's two and a half hours into the dinner service, and while Colleen has finally mastered the spaghetti, she still has a lot to learn about risotto.
Gordon: Look! [returns to workstation and tastes the risotto] Hey!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Taste!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
[Gordon spits out the risotto in disgust]
Gordon: That's the risotto! That, quite frankly, is the worst risotto I've ever tasted in my entire cooking career. Why's it so sweet? Who put sugar in there?
Colleen: [holds up a pot of sugar] I grabbed this. I thought it was salt.
LA: (interview) Are you fucking kidding me?
Gordon: That... [throws the risotto in the trash] is shit! Oh, my God!
Gordon: Mashed potatoes?
Wil: [brings his garnishes to the pass] Fuck!
Gordon: What are you doing, Wil?
Wil: Sorry, chef. I don't know if this is very hot. (to his team mates) You got a cold sizzle?
Gordon: Dear, oh dear! Wil!
Wil: Yes, chef?
Gordon: You're shit!
Wil: Yes, chef. I am.
Gordon: You are so shit, it's unbelievable!
Gordon: Are you on the garnish now, Robert?
Robert: I just want to help him out [Wil], chef.
Gordon: Charlie's on the garnish, Robert's on the garnish, yeah? And Wil is on planet cuckoo.
Charlie: (interview) Wil got thrown to the dogs on the garnish station. By the time I got around to help him, it was ugly.
Gordon: Wil, there's not one cook in the kitchen that hasn't been with you on the garnish tonight!
Wil: (interview) Being on the receiving end of Chef Ramsay's wrath...yeah, that sorta sucked.
Gordon: Dear, oh dear, oh dear.
Gordon: Garnish, please! (to Wil) What in the fuck are you two doing?
Carol: [interview; sees the customers leaving the kitchen] Oh no! When the customers got up and starting to walk out, I'm shocked.
Gordon: Let's go, 22!
Waiter: 22 just left.
Gordon: Twenty-two. 22 just left.
Giovanni: My table got up and left.
Gordon: [to Robert; tosses the plates to him] Hey! Hey, you! Hey, catch! THEY JUST LEFT! THEY JUST FUCKING LEFT!
Giovanni: The rest of tables got walked out.
Lady: Alright. Out of Hell's Kitchen.
Gordon: Switch it off! NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! [goes to the red kitchen] Come here, all of you! [calls the blue team] Come here, all of you! Yeah, take a look at there! Pathetic, absolute embarrassment, utter crap! Clear down! CLEAR DOWN!!

Episode Two [5.02]

[edit]
Gordon: The scallops are cooked, aren't they?
Colleen: Yes.
Gordon: Why are they still in the pan if they're cooked? They're going to be overcooked, you stupid cow! Oh, my God! Who cooked the scallops last service? Who was that?
Lacey: I did, chef.
Gordon: Come here, you! Come here! Show her how to cook a fucking scallop. Hey, by the way, she's not charging $300. Hey, this is free now. Free lesson! Stand back!
Carol: (interview) Colleen runs a cooking school, but she has no experience on the line and it clearly shows.
Gordon: (to Lacey) Teach madam [Colleen] here how to cook a fucking scallop!
Lacey: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Shit!! Unbelievable!
Lacey: (interview) I almost felt honored in a weird way. (to Colleen) It's okay. It's alright.
Gordon: (to Ji) Is your ankle hurting?
Ji: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, so's my fuckin' head. It's throbbin'.
[Lacey brings Colleen's scallops to the pass]
Gordon: Thank you, Lacey.
Lacey: You're welcome, chef!
Gordon: Colleen!! Do you see a difference? Pink in the middle, coloured both sides, yes?
Colleen: Yes, I do, chef.
Gordon: Hey, did she charge you?
Colleen: (brief pause) No, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, thank fuck for that. Let's go. God bless Nebraska.
Narrator: Seth and Charlie have delivered their lobster spaghetti to the pass.
[Gordon checks the spaghetti; finds out that there's no lobster in it]
Gordon: There's no fucking lobster in there.
Scott: Doesn't look like it, no.
Narrator: But, it's missing one key ingredient.
Gordon: [returns to the workstation and pushes a pan aside] Hey, fuck-wit! Come here you! Come here!
Charlie: What's this?
Gordon: There's no fucking lobster in it!
Charlie: Shit!!
Gordon: How can you give it to me with no lobster in there?!
Charlie: We're stupid, chef. Apologies.
Gordon: Wake up, Charlie!!
Charlie: Yes, chef! Yes, chef!
Gordon: And you [Seth], docile fucking idiot! What's the dish called?
Seth: Uhm... Uhm...
Gordon: Spaghetti of lobster!!
Seth: (interview) I feel like I just got hit by a train!
[Gordon checks on salmon brought up by Colleen]
Gordon: Oh, my God! [returns to the workstation] Come here you. Hey, Coi, come here! Carol, Lacey, come here! (to Colleen) Away now, two Wellington, yes, one salmon and one John Dory. Where's the John Dory?
Colleen: (brief pause) I don't have the John Dory.
Gordon: You don't have it. Hey, look, come here. Hey, there you go, look at that. [holds up the salmon] Look, look, hold on, hey, don't run away. IT'S BLACK! On top of that, there's an added bonus. It's fucking raw in the middle.
Colleen: Yes, chef.
[Gordon angrily throws the salmon away and kicks the bin]
Gordon: Fucking useless, fucking shit. You're not a cookery school teacher, are you? You're joking, aren't you?
Colleen: No, I'm not joking, chef. I am a--
Gordon: Tell me, tell me you're pomping yourself up to make yourself look good. You don't really have a cooking school?
Colleen: No, chef, I own a cooking school. I have a business just like you do.
Gordon: Your fucking business is not like my business. Hey, madam, let's get that fucking right.
Colleen: You're right.
Gordon: You're robbing people! You're a thief!! I'm concerned for the poor bastards that you've taken money off of!! [sees another piece of salmon burning] Hey, madam, lift that lid off, it looks black.
Colleen: It IS black!
Gordon: Oh, GOD!!
Colleen: Both of them!
Gordon: SHIT! [Gordon and Coi look physically shocked] SHIT!!! IT'S BLACK!!!
Colleen: Yes, chef!
Gordon: OH, MY GOD!!
Carol: These are burning.
Colleen: I know.
Gordon: Hey, madam, madam! GET OUT!! Get on the raw bar. Lacey! LACEY! Get on the fish!
Lacey: Yes, chef!
Colleen: (interview) Chef Ramsay's definitely not going to break me. He can ask me to leave, he can kick me out of the kitchen, he can do all those things, but he's not going to break me.
[Gordon checks on salmon brought up by Giovanni]
Gordon: Giovanni! [returns to the workstation]
Giovanni: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Hey, all of you come here! [points to Danny] He's cooking his ass off, surrounded by five muppets, yeah? The temperature's perfect, and I get that bit of shit there, look. I got given that! Would you eat that? [throws the salmon to Seth] Go on, eat it, eat it. (to Seth) Would you eat that?
Seth: No, chef.
Gordon: (to Giovanni) Would you eat that?
Giovanni: No, chef.
Gordon: [comes up to Giovanni] Hey, you can be pissed off. You got every fucking right to be pissed off. You know that, yes?
Giovanni: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Fucking RAW!!
Giovanni: (interview) I've never had a chef come that close to me in my life. He can yell at me from across the kitchen, he doesn't have to get 2 inches away from my face.
Gordon: Hey, is that your pink? Prep chef. You can prep a fucking scallop, you can't cook a fucking salmon. Come on, Giovanni!
Giovanni: Yes, chef.

Episode Three [5.03]

[edit]

[during the meat labelling challenge, with both teams both having five correct labels so far]

Seth: (interview) Meat is one of my fortes. I definitely had six, seven out of eight without even looking.
Ben: Ring the bell, ring the bell. Go for it!
[Seth lightly taps the bell]
Gordon: I can't hear that!
Ben: Ring the fucking bell!
[Seth hits the bell harder]
Gordon: Seven wrong for blue, let's go.
Charlie: Holy shit! We're working backwards!
J: (interview) SETH, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!
Narrator: Seth's poor performance has set the men back. Now Lacey has a golden opportunity to redeem herself with her team.
Carol: Come on, Lacey!
Lacey: (interview) It's my chance to show my team that I can step up, and that I deserve to be here.
Colleen: Come on! We can do this!
LA: Move it, Lacey!
Andrea: (interview) Lacey was just moving things around for the feeling that she was doing something, and you know what, that's no different to how she is in the kitchen.
[Robert rings the men's bell]
Gordon: Six wrong.
Narrator: Robert has only improved on Seth by one.
Carol: (to Lacey) Come on, let's go! Come on, come on, come on, come on!
[Lacey rings the bell]
Gordon: Okay... (sees that Lacey has placed the "bottom round" label near one of the model cow's front legs) BOTTOM ROUND?! WHAT DOES "BOTTOM" MEAN? One, two, three, four, five, six wrong! Dear oh dear!
Gordon: Why aren't the shrimp on? Get them on! Come on, Charlie.
Charlie: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: Unbelievable. A Caesar salad and we're in the shit! [spots that Charlie's cooking cloth has caught fire] Your cloth's on fire! YOUR CLOTH'S ON FIRE!
J: (interview) Charlie, wake the fuck up, man.
Gordon: Get it in the water please, Scott, before he burns the place down.
Charlie: I'm doing my best, chef.
Scott: (throws the cloth in the sink) If that's your best, you might want to rethink your best a little bit.
Narrator: It's thirty minutes into dinner service, and Ben is trying to impress Chef Ramsay with his speed.
Ben: [bringing some chocolate brownie desserts to the pass] Coming down with desserts. Coming down with desserts...
Narrator: Unfortunately, having dessert ready before the appetizers is not exactly what Chef Ramsay had in mind.
Gordon: Dick-head, put them down. [calls entire team] Hey, all of you, come here. Ben's now bringing me a chocolate fucking brownie. [tosses one dessert on the counter] WHAT'S GOING ON?!
Seth: (interview) I didn't know what was going on, but he brought up dessert four minutes in. I mean, I've done some stupid shit, but that's embarrassing.
Gordon: So, let's do it this way, then. There you go. [puts the desserts on the pass] Ben wants to serve a chocolate brownie before we serve the appetisers.
Ben: No, chef.
Gordon: What are you dreaming on?! Are you stupid?!
Ben: No, chef.
Gordon: You've got cheesecake made as well!
Ben: Yes, chef.
Gordon: We've trashed six desserts before we've sent out fucking appetisers!
Ben: It was my fault, chef. (interview) It was my mistake for not exactly knowing Chef Ramsay's terminologies, but fuck me if the words "pick" and "up" don't mean "give you the desserts!"
Gordon: Have you been drinking or sniffing?
Ben: No, chef. No, chef.
Gordon: Look at me: Go upstairs for a lie-down.
Ben: No, no, chef!
Gordon: Go upstairs for a lie-down! [leads Ben out of the kitchen, then walks away] Useless. Absolutely useless. [a couple of seconds pass, then Ben quickly returns into the kitchen]
[Lacey returns a Caesar salad to the pass]
Gordon: What's the matter?
Lacey: She just didn't know if there were anchovies on it.
Gordon: You got what you asked for.
Lacey: I know, chef.
Gordon: So what did you fuck up? I know you find this is, yeah I know you laugh and it's funny.
Lacey: I'm not laughing! I'm trying not to cry.
Gordon: You're fucking worse than Britney Spears, you jumped-up bitch!

[Carol returns to the pass with filet mignon]

Carol: They say they want to brighten it up a little bit, chef.
Gordon: Giovanni, Robert come here! Robert, bounce your way down here. Let's go. [portions the beef] (pounds the counter) Touch it! Touch it!
Giovanni and Robert: It's cold.
Gordon: FUCKING SHIT!! [throws the beef away] It's still walking, that fucking piece of beef!
Danny: (interview) It pisses me off. We have the executive chef of a steakhouse running our grill. Wake up, get it together and put out some decent food.
Gordon: Giovanni!
Giovanni: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Thank fuck I've never been to your steakhouse! It's fucking blue!
Giovanni: Yes, chef!
Narrator: With just 30 minutes left, Jean Phillippe is looking for Lacey.
Jean Phillippe: Table 23. The Table you forgot.
Lacey: I have to go up there and tell them to fire it?
Jean Phillippe: Who el...Who else is going to do it?
Lacey: Jean Phillipe I never waited table before!!!
Jean Phillippe: (Gobbles) Can you just go and ask the chef to fire It (Trying to do Lacey Voice), (Gobbles)
Lacey: I need the main course for 23 fired. Thanks Chef.
Gordon: Hey Madam (Lacey), We just taking the order in now??? Why did it take so long???
Jean Phillippe: She forgot the Table.
Gordon: (Shakes Head and angrily swats Lacey away)
Lacey: Yeah, "Fuck off with me!" I know.
Gordon: (To the Blue Team) Lacey forgot the ORDER!!!
[after Seth's attempt at butchering the filet mignon, Ramsay has discovered a huge amount of wasted meat he has hidden]
Gordon: Hey, all of you, here! Quickly! There's the filet, yes? Look at the fucking waste. [empties the waste onto the counter; the amount of waste is nearly as big as the remaining filet. Seth looks confused, while the other team members look horrified] That's what he took off, and there's the filet. LOOK AT THE FILET!
Giovanni: (interview) He molested that poor thing! People have gone to jail for worse, but it looked like he went at it with a jackhammer!
Gordon: We've fucking WASTED the most expensive part! [hurls the offcuts to Seth] LOOK AT IT! What are you going to do, get daddy to buy you a new one? [stops for music to play] How can you do that?
Seth: I never butchered a filet before, chef.
Gordon: Congratulations, you just have.
Seth: [smiles] Thanks, yes...
Gordon: Hey, hey, smartass - not in the right way, you fucking bozo.
Seth: Yes, chef. (interview) I don't think I did that bad, butchering that filet, but now I'll know for next time.
[two minutes remain of the Blue team's half of the service]
Gordon: Where's the New York strip?!
Giovanni: Chef, I'm four minutes away!
Gordon: Oh, my God. SWITCH IT OFF!! We're now over two hours, he (Seth) fucks the filet! (to Charlie) The shrimps go down! (to Ben Walanka) This dick sent me dessert before the appetisers! [throws his apron] Fuck off! (to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, shut it down, yes? Two hours over. Clear down!!!
Robert: (interview; tonight was originally planned to have been his wedding) I've embarrassed myself, my family, my girlfriend. [throws his buff off angrily]
[Customers are leaving Hell's Kitchen]
Ben Walanka: Here we go. Here comes the pain.
Gordon: Where's the four Caesar salad, two shrimp?
Colleen: Coming chef. These were two, one and one.
Gordon: Where's the fucking four I asked for?
Coi: Four Caesar salad, two shrimp!
Gordon: (to Colleen) Hey!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: You're doing this on purpose.
Colleen: No I'm not, I swear. You said two. One and one.
Gordon: Look at me! Look at me! Four fucking salads.
Colleen: (interview) There's always the person in your life that's being grumpy and you know not being nice. Then there is one that Chef Ramsay whose the arrogant vicious attack dog.
Gordon: (to Colleen) Hey, Madam, you're fucking pathetic!
Colleen: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Four salad, three shrimp, one plain! (Colleen) Oh no, come here! What's going?
Colleen: Four Caesar salad, three shrimp, one plain!
Gordon: One more!
Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three shrimp, one plain!
Gordon: One more!
Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three shrimp, one plain!
Gordon: And last time!
Colleen: Four Caesar salad chef, three...
Gordon: (visibly shocked) Oh, m - OHH, GOD!
Colleen: ... SHRIMP, ONE PLAIN!
Gordon: Oh you fucking - hoo, shit! She's not normal... she can not be normal...
Lacey: (interview) My God! Colleen, if we lose tonight and I go home, I swear to God, I hope you can't sleep at night because you deserve to go home more than I.

Episode Four [5.04]

[edit]
Colleen: How could we lose with cheerleaders on our side? Yeah! V, V-I, V-C-I-T-O-R-Y! (a caption reading "Vcitory???" appears)

[The Blue Team have lost the challenge and Ben believes that Danny was responsible for it even though it fell on Seth]

Ben: Imma tell you one thing. I don't like fucking losing and Danny, I was over there helping you then I jumped over to eggs.
Danny: You should've been on eggs the whole time.
Ben: You were the one drowning on the pancakes buddy, that is correct.
Danny: Look you gave me a hand walking up pancakes and thank you for that.
Ben: Wait a minute Danny, [J laughs] come on man are you serious right now?
Danny: What? You-you helped me plate some pancakes and I appreciate it, thank you, I-I'm not a-
Ben: It's cool.
Danny: I'm not a hero here, I never said I was.
J: You said that earlier, you said you were the best cook.

[Flashbacks to Gordon asking who the Blue Team's best cook is with Danny calling himself the Blue Team's best cook]

Danny: I am obviously the best cook on the team.
Ben: You want to hear something dude, I will put circles around you! I will circle you like a fucking moon!
Danny: Where have you been?
Giovanni: Hey, hey come on! Danny, come on! Hey, Ben!
Ben: [over Giovanni] Are you joking me? You couldn't cook my cock!

[The women walk past as Danny and Ben's argument starts escalating]

Giovanni: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Ben: Are you joking me? I AM SO FUCKING-
Danny: Where have you been?!
Giovanni: [stands between Danny and Ben] Be quiet! Quiet! Quiet!
Ben: We'll see you on garnish.
Danny: Shut the fuck up.
Ben: I mean- you know what, I need two minutes, I need two minutes, bro.
Danny: Take your two minutes, bro, because I haven't seen you kitchen yet.
Giovanni: HEY!
Danny: Where have you been?!
Ben: [heads down to the patio] (interview) Danny's ego is getting the better of him and he needs to come back down on this planet.
Danny: YOU'VE GOTTEN A COMPLIMENT YET, BEN?
Gordon: On order: Four covers, Table 4. Two risotto, one spaghetti, one Caesar.
Blue Team: Yes, Chef!
Danny: (to Giovanni) Is it [the water] boiling?
Gordon: How long?
Giovanni: I'm waiting for the water to boil, Chef.
Gordon: You expect me to tell Jean-Philippe we're waiting for your water to boil?!
Giovanni: Oh, I'm sorry.
Ben: (interview) Oh, man, Gio. How do you expect to cook pasta in water that's not boiling?
Gordon: Hey, look at me! There's no olive oil in there, the water's not seasoned, it's not even boiling!
Giovanni: (interview) Oh, that was my fault. I didn't check my equipment. It won't happen again, that's for sure.
Gordon: Let's go, Giovanni, let's go! Oh, my God...
Narrator: While Giovanni is in hot water, over in the Red kitchen, Coi is trying to get ahead.
[Gordon notices Coi cooking pasta]
Gordon: (to Coi) Why are you cooking spaghetti? We haven't even fired it! DAMN!!
Coi: Fuck!
Gordon: Why?!
Coi: I'm sorry, chef.
Gordon: I can't believe this!! Why can't you just drop it to order?!
Coi: I will, chef.
Gordon: Tell me why you can't!!
Coi: I'm just trying to get ahead, chef.
Gordon: You can't get ahead! You're not that good!
Coi: (interview) I was trying to take so many steps ahead, so I'm kicking myself in the ass so, if I would have listened better, he wouldn't be screaming at me.
Gordon: Coi? Put some more spaghetti in to make yourself...
Coi: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Hey, I'm joking you stupid cow!
[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with Caesar salad]
Gordon: What's going on on there?
Jean-Philippe: That's from, uhm, table 20 blue.
[Gordon checks the salad, then finds a butt of lettuce in it]
Gordon: Hey, ALL OF YOU! COME HERE! Who dressed the Caesar salad?
J: I did chef. [Gordon shows the butt of lettuce to the members] (whispering) Jesus Christ!
[Gordon returns the butt of lettuce to the plate and violently throws the plate onto the floor]
Gordon: Oi, bozo! Are you fucking stupid?!
J: No, chef, I'm not. (interview) J feels like a jackass because of that freaking lettuce. I should have seen it, it's a disgrace. It really is.
Gordon: Did you see that?
J: I did not, Chef. If I saw it, I would never put it in there.
Giovanni: (interview) Pretty hard to believe that butt of lettuce went out there. It's pretty hard to miss that big lettuce when you try to toss it in a small salad.
Gordon: Un-fucking-believable.
[Gordon checks on lamb brought up by Ben Walanka]
Gordon: Come here! All of you, come here! Put it down! (to Ben) Put it fucking down! What is that?
Ben Walanka: Lamb chop, sir.
Gordon: Lamb chop, yeah? Eat it. (gives the lamb to Ben and he eats it) Happy now? Now it's getting thinner and thinner and thinner. Look, there's another one that's ripped to fuck there now. Too thin, cowboy!
Robert: (interview) I'm like. "Oh, why are sending that out?" It looked like a piece of carppacio on a bone, man.
Gordon: (to Ben) How can someone so fucking fat slice something so fucking thin?!
Ben Walanka: Sorry, chef. It won't happen again, chef.
Gordon: I wouldn't even serve that to my fucking dog!
Ben Walanka: I'll fix it right now, chef.
[Colleen brings her wellingtons to the pass]
Gordon: Hey, stay here you. Three Wellingtons, you brought me four. One medium, one medium-well, one well done. Where's the medium one?
Colleen: The medium one's here, Chef.
Gordon: Where's the medium-well?
Colleen: The medium-well's here, Chef.
Gordon: Where's the well done one, then?
Colleen: It's right here, Chef.
Gordon: So what the fuck is this one?
Colleen: I don't know.
Gordon: You don't know. That's funny, isn't it? A little "Ha-ha," "Tee-hee," and "God Bless Nebraska?"
Gordon: On order, four covers, table three. One scallops, one spaghetti, one risotto, one caesar...
Seth: (to Giovanni) Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon!
Gordon: Entrées: One Dory, one chicken, one lamb, one wellington.
Giovanni: It's coming.
Seth: Right here.
Gordon: Seth! SETH!
Seth: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Come here! What did I just call out?
Seth: [wiping his face with a cloth] I... I don't know, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, I know you don't know because you weren't even fucking prepared to listen. No wonder you're struggling.
[Seth uses the same cloth he just wiped his face with to clean a pan, then wipes his face with it again]
Gordon: What is he doing? Hey you, hey you, come here... [takes the cloth from Seth, and looks at him in disgust]
Seth: Sorry, chef.
Gordon: I just watched you wipe your face and then wipe the pan. If this one's for your fucking nose, where's your cooking cloth?
Seth: Uh, I'll get one, chef.
Gordon: [throws the cloth back to Seth] Fuck off, will you?

[after Jean-Philippe returned to the pass with more food, Gordon has had it]

Gordon: (disappointed) What is going on? Oh no. Oh. [cuts to Coi accidentally dropping her spaghetti on her station] Fuck off - oh, no! Shit! Look at that! You, guy! (Robert) Come here, you fat fuck! Come here! All of you, come here! COME HERE! Hey, hey, look at me. You are pathetic. NO ONE won! FUCK OFF, both teams, start thinking about two of you to fucking go home! (to Coi) You, PATHETIC! I don't want anymore. (to Ben) I don't-I don't want to wait for your shit anymore, (to Danny) I don't want your shit anymore, (to Seth) I don't want you drying your face, and then fucking cooking with the cloth, YOU SCUMMY FUCKER!!! GET OUT!!! [all chefs exited the kitchen except Ben; he approaches him] GET OUT!!!
Gordon: Something's really bugging me, you know that? And I can't stop thinking about it and here's why. If a customer goes out for dinner and their steak is overcooked or undercooked, it gets redone. And they move on and enjoy the evening. But if a customer goes out for dinner and they get served a butt of lettuce, that's how reputations get destroyed in minutes, [to J] butt-head!

Episode Five [5.05]

[edit]

[Gordon asks for wellingtons in the Red kitchen]

Gordon: Where's the wellington, please?
Andrea: Chef, I'm re-firing the wellington. The bottom's burning.
Gordon: [begins searching] Where's the medium-well wellington?
Andrea: I'm putting projector paper.
Gordon: [finds that Andrea has hid her burnt meat underneath her station] Oh, shut up you, yeah? Shut up. What is this? [starts getting the meat]
Andrea: They burned. I'm not quite sure why.
Gordon: Watch. There you go, look. (to the members) Hey, come here! Oy, oy, oy! There you go. There you go. There--Oh, dear! [throws a burnt wellington against the refrigerator] Fucking pile of shit!!
Andrea: (interview) I'm screwed. I'm fucking screwed.
Gordon: Anything else you hid? What else did you hid?!
Andrea: No, chef. That's it, chef.
Gordon: That's it? Is it?! WHY'D YOU DO IT?!
Andrea: Trying to get it together, chef.
Gordon: I just don't-- I just don't understand it!

[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with dessert]

Jean-Philippe: Red, [Table] 53. Tanya Steel.
Gordon: Not done? (returns to the workstation) There you go. Now I've had enough. [slams the plate on the stove] Come here! There you go. (to Carol; gives her a piece of pear) Take a bite and pass it along. (to LA) LA, wake up, yeah?
Coi: It's hard as a fucking rock.
Gordon: Raw pastry, raw pear. That's her! [kicks a bin]
Andrea: (interview) Chef Ramsay wasn't kidding when he said it was raw. It was raw. That's just, "Sorry. Poor judgement."
Gordon: (to Colleen) You didn't know that's raw pastry with a raw pear?
Colleen: No, chef.
Andrea: (interview) Everybody else was just looking around like, "You've got to be kidding me."
Gordon: Un-fucking-believable! [goes to the blue kitchen and sits in fetal position]
Narrator: Tonight, dinner service has totally collapsed.
Gordon: Oh, Christ almighty! Two and a half hours of bullshit.
Narrator: And Chef Ramsay is at the end of his rope.
Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe; after returning to the pass with raw desserts) Oh fuck off! I'm... I've had enough! [goes to the red kitchen] Hey, when I say, I've had enough! I've had enough! Stoves off! [calls both teams] Come here! That was pathetic! And you were absolutely useless! CLEAR DOWN! I can't take it anymore! It's been the worst performance so far! SWITCH IT FUCKING OFF!!! [throws his spoon away]
Gordon: There was no place in the kitchen I could put Colleen where she wasn't a disaster. It's time for her to go back to where she belongs, teaching. Because she certainly can't cook.

Episode Six [5.06]

[edit]
Narrator: As the Blue Team heads to the spa for a day of pampering...
J: Off to the spa we go...
Narrator: ...Back in the dining room, Max's mom lets J.P. know that he'll be working with someone to plan the party.
Brenda: This gentleman is very recommended.
Jean-Philippe: Yes.
Brenda: So, um...
Francisco: Bonjour, darling!
Brenda: Oh, here he is now.
Narrator: ...Someone he knows all too well.
Francisco: Oh, it's so good to see you! [hugs J.P.] I'm so happy to be here. Are you thrilled to see me?
Brenda: Alright, well, see you tomorrow.
Francisco: Thank you.
Jean-Philippe: (to Francisco) Listen, you. You are not interfering with my job.
Francisco: I respect your boundaries.
Jean-Philippe: Alright, I'll do my thing, and then you do your little thing.
Francisco: "My little thing." Oh, it will be so happy.
Jean-Philippe: Good.
Francisco: Oh, here they [the Red Team] come.
Jean-Philippe: Ladies, ladies, ladies, we've done a few parties in the past with Francisco.
Francisco: I'm so excited to be here, this is so fabulous! [the ladies laugh] Wait until you see what we're doing. We are going to go up, up, and away with beautiful balloons, all around. It's going to be so festive!
Coi: (interview) Oh, Francisco's just fabulous, all the way around.
Francisco: We have twinkly centerpieces on all of the tables...
Andrea: (laughing) Twinkly!
Coi: (interview) It's the way he talks, it's the way he dresses, everything. He's fabulous.
Francisco: We are going to make this the most beautiful sports arena!
LA: (interview) I'm gay, that dude is parade gay.

Episode Seven [5.07]

[edit]
Giovanni: How long for the risotto and pasta?
Paula: Plating up the pasta right now.
Andrea: How's your risotto?
Carol: I'm going. I'm going.
Gordon: Where's the risotto?
Carol: Right here chef.
Gordon: Carol!
Carol: Yes, chef!
Gordon: [tastes the risotto then spits it out] Taste that rice, taste the rice. It's like mush! Show me the rice.
Carol: Right here.
Gordon: Oh, my God! It's overcooked! It's like mush! Who cooked the rice?
[flashback to when J cooked the rice for both teams, pouring two boxes into one pan]
Andrea: The blue team.
Gordon: The blue team? What? [goes over to the blue kitchen] Oh, come here you, all of you! Who cooked this rice?
J: I did, chef.
Gordon: Look at it, J! How can you do that, J? [hurls the rice in the trash] J! For both teams?
J: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Aw, fucking hell! Oh, come on! You can't do this!
Lacey: (interview) The risotto was mushy, clumpy and nasty, and it definitely was not a good way to start the evening.
Gordon: It's mush! Did you cook it all in the same pan?
J: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Oh, fuck me! Oh, come on, fuck off J!
J: I'll get a pot on, chef. (interview) That pissed off Chef Ramsay, and I really didn't need that, because he's been riding me hard the past couple of days.
Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe) Jean-Philippe, stop the risotto, yeah? (to J) J! I can't believe you just screwed the service in both kitchens!
Robert: (interview) J, you're my friend and I like you a lot, but today, you fucking suck, man.
[Jean-Philippe returns to the pass with pasta]
Jean-Philippe: Pasta undercooked, chef.
Gordon: Is it?
Jean-Philippe: Yeah, it's really undercooked, chef.
Gordon: (to Carol) Hey, you, madam. The pasta's raw! Who's running the appetisers?
Carol: I am, chef!
Gordon: Well, then run it, then! Does she [Andrea] wipe your ass?!
Carol: No, chef. (interview) I get fucking yelled at because this stupid bitch can't fucking cook?! What the hell is up with that?! (to Ramsay) There's must be some mix-in because it's...
Gordon: What?! Why aren't you tasting?
Carol: I was tasting it, chef.
Gordon: So you tasted it, and you knew it's raw, and still sent it!
Carol: (interview) That stupid bitch doesn't fucking say anything when Chef Ramsay's yelling at me?! FUCK THIS SHIT!
Gordon: Madam, come here you, mouthy little bitch! You [Andrea] come here!
Andrea: Yes, chef.
Gordon: (to Jean-Philippe) Hey, give me that table out there! (to Carol and Andrea) And sit on that table and eat that! Both of you, fuck off out there! It's not undercooked, it's raw! RAW, Carol! [gets ticket from Jean-Philippe]
Andrea: (to Carol) Let's eat it. Let's get this fucking over with.
Gordon: (to Carol and Andrea) Hey, you're not coming back until it’s clear and you let me know how it tastes!
Andrea: (interview) I was appalled that I had to stop during service. That pasta was grossly undercooked, and I had to eat that shit! (to Carol) Fucking eat up, girl.
Carol: It’s- it’s- I’m eating it. It’s fine.
Narrator: While Carol and Andrea chew on their mistakes, in the blue kitchen, J is hoping to redeem himself.
Gordon: (with a piece of undercooked salmon) J!
J: Yes, chef?
Gordon: Come on, then! Look, it's still stone-cold. Back in the oven! Fucking hell...
Ben: J, I know you're busy, buddy, but how long on the salmon, my man?
J: Five minutes.
Robert: Give me the tuna! Give me the-
Ben: He said four minutes out. Can you make it four?
Gordon: Everything you've touched so far, tonight, has been screwed.
Robert: (interview) J just lost his shit, man. He was just clamming up, didn't take control. He was burning the seafood, he was sending raw seafood.
Gordon: That's called burnt salmon, not seared salmon!
Robert: (interview) It takes a real good chef to recover. (to J) You can really turn this around if you want to.
J: I know.
Robert: Wipe your face, wipe your face. [J wipes his face with his sleeve] With a rag!
Gordon: J, where's the salmon?
J: Coming around. Right here, chef.
Gordon: [finds out that the salmon is overdone] Hey, bozo, SAUCE!! Come here, you. Put that down, come here, you. Come here, you! Get in there! GET IN!

[leads J into the pantry and slams the door]

J: Fuck!
Gordon: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!
J: I'm here, chef.
Gordon: It's not good enough, J!
J: I know, chef. I got no fucking excuse.
Gordon: What's the matter with you?!
J: I don't know. I'll fucking turn it on right now, chef.
Gordon: I can't fucking go any further! Please, wake up!
J: Yes, chef!
Gordon: I've got sauce on one, and two Dory on. LA?
[LA is standing still and staring into space]
Paula: (interview) It's almost like LA was half-asleep or something.
Gordon: Come on, LA!
Gloria: Come on! LA, wake up! Are you sleeping?!
LA: No, I'm...
Gordon: She's dreaming. Come on, more (voice cracks) SAUCE, you silly cow!
LA: (interview) He called me a cow. For the first time.
Gordon: Don't cook all the fucking Dory in one pan unless you're boiling them, yes?
LA: Yes, chef. (interview) In the real world, you wouldn't have someone yelling at you like that. You wouldn't have someone calling you a cow, a bitch. You wouldn't. 'Cause if someone in the real world called you a cow or a bitch, you would walk up to them and sock them in the face.
Gordon: Come on LA, please!
LA: 30 seconds chef.
Narrator: As LA tries to get up to speed, over in the blue kitchen...
Gordon: J! Where's the other scallop?
J: Right here, chef.
[J brings the scallops to the pass; they're badly overcooked]
Gordon: Have you seen this shit?
Scott: Disastrous, isn't it?
Gordon: I have had enough. [calls the blue team] Come here, you! Leave it here, PUT THAT DOWN! You, come here! You come here!
Ben: Yes, chef.

[the team members gather around the pass]

Gordon: What is that? What IS that? What is that? That's us at our best, WHAT IS IT?! Wait, it gets better. Look, touch that!
Ben: It's rubber, chef.
Gordon: T-Oh, my GOD! Unbelievable-- [J goes to touch one of the scallops, and Ramsay knocks his hand away] No, no no no, NO! NO! [throws a scallop onto the floor and faces J towards the door] GET OUT! OUT, OUT, OUT! GET OUT! OUT, GET OUT! Take your jacket off, and FUCK OFF!!
J: (interview) I guess I don't belong here, so... I'll be going home. I'm here for a reason, and it's my boy and my wife, so of course I'm disappointed. It was a tough day. (in the dorms) Oh...that's fucked up bro. (interview) My dream when I came to Hell's Kitchen was to win. So, uh, now it's time to move on and get my own restaurants going. You know, I don't need Chef Ramsay's opinion anymore, I've got it. [entering the taxicab] Tomorrow's another day! Let's do it. (interview) It's time for J Maxwell to do his own thing.
Gordon: Where are the Wellingtons?
Ben Walanka: Five and a half minutes, chef.
Gordon: I'm watching you like a fucking hawk.
Ben Walanka: I know you are, chef.
Gordon: You know why? Do you know why?
Ben Walanka: I don't-I don't know, chef.
Gordon: I want you out. You're not cutting it. You're dreaming.
Ben Walanka: (interview) It hurts. It hurts when someone goes at you like that.
Gordon: Stop! Stop, stop, stop! Put that down. [finds that Ben has put fresh Wellingtons in a tray filled with burnt bits of pastry] Oh, my god! Look! Look!
Danny: (interview) Ben was struggling, just getting beat up by chef. Ben's just like J, in dinner service he just falls apart.
Gordon: Come here, you! Get in there, get in! [Gordon leads Ben into the pantry] What's your fucking game?
Ben Walanka: No game, chef.
Gordon: Tell me something straight. What are you doing?
Ben Walanka: Chef, I'm doing everything I can...
Gordon: Why are you putting them on a dirty tray?
Ben Walanka: Chef, only because I was doing Wellington on them before, and I could not find any more...
Gordon: And that's good enough for you?
Ben Walanka: No, it's not, chef.
Gordon: Is it fucked?
Ben Walanka: It's not. I don't want to do it in a...
Gordon: YOU DIRTY PIG!
Ben Walanka: Yes, chef.
Gordon: CLEAN THE FUCKING TRAY!!
Ben Walanka: Yes, chef.
Gordon: One more, and you're fucking history. GET IN!
Ben Walanka: (interview) Today, it took everything I had not to go up in my little coccoon. I just had to push forward.
Gordon: DIRTY PIG!
Robert: (to Lacey) I swear to God if you win this I will hang up my coat and become a crack whore!

Episode Eight [5.08]

[edit]
[Lacey's meat pan catches fire; Gordon approaches her station]
Gordon: Leave it! Fucking hell, what is that?!
Lacey: Wha-I...
Gordon: What is that, I said! Look at it! It's on fire!
Danny: Is this your well-done?
Lacey: (tearfully) I don't know.
Ben: (interview) She was lost. [in mockery of Lacey] "I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, HUHU!!"
Gordon: What's the matter with you?!
Lacey: I CAN'T COOK MEAT, CHEF!
Gordon: What do you mean you can't cook meat?!
Lacey: Obviously I'm weak and confused...
Gordon: Hey madam, madam! Get out! GET OUT!!
Robert: (interview) Can't handle the heat, get out the kit-CHEN!!
Gordon: [follows Lacey to the pantry] "I can't cook meat?!"
Lacey: I–I'm sorry. I just got really confused.
Gordon: If you got confused, why didn't you say something?!
Lacey: I did and then Robert put the chicken and the chicken went on fire and...!
Gordon: Why can't you just make the effort?
Lacey: I'm trying to make an effort.
Gordon: Do you want to come back in there and make an effort?
Lacey: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Well, wake up and get a grip!! Come on! [leads Lacey out of the pantry]
Narrator: It's over an hour into dinner service, and while Ben and Lacey struggle to get out entrées...
Ben: I need you right now.
Lacey: You need to put me on something easier than fucking wellingtons.
Narrator: Robert has managed to handle the appetizers on his own.
Robert: C'mon, guys! Let's fucking do it!
Ben: Let's go, move! We got this!
[Robert bends over and a ripping sound is heard. As Ben and Lacey look on in shock, we see that Robert has split open the seat of his trousers. He carries on, unconcerned.]
Robert: Come on guys, keep pushing! (interview) All I heard was "RRRRRIIIP!"
Scott: (to Gordon) Robert's ass is hanging out all over the place.
Robert: (interview) "Ooh, I feel a little breeze on the back of my ass!" I'll cook in my boxer shorts, I don't give a shit.
Gordon: Damn!
[Gordon checks on meat brought up by Lacey; finds that the lamb was badly carved]
Gordon: Oh, my God!
Lacey: Hmm... Fuck me!
Gordon: Come here, all of you! What is that?! Fucking bone's thicker than the meat! WHAT IS THAT?!
Lacey: I DON'T KNOW, CHEF!
Gordon: [throws the lamb in the bin] It's not GOOD ENOUGH! GET OUT!! YOU'RE not good enough!! PISS OFF! [follows Lacey into the pantry] Madam, look at me. Let's be honest, you're done. You can't waste my time any longer!
Lacey: I agree.
Gordon: Give me your jacket, and leave Hell's Kitchen. And go in there, and say goodbye. Properly, say it properly! Let's go.
Lacey: [to the blue team] Thank you for everything!
[Danny quickly waves to Lacey and then resumes cooking; Ben and Robert ignore her altogether]
Robert: (interview) There's a small violin, just for Lacey. [blows a raspberry] She sucks. Adios, biatch.
Gordon: Piss off! Let's go! Step up a gear.
Lacey: (interview) On one hand, it's a relief. I can get back to my normal life. [packing her suitcase] Now I can get some sleep at night. (interview) But you know, another part of me wishes to stay and learn more and have that chance to win but unfortunately I fucked up tonight and I can only look back on the positive things which there weren't many for me. You know, my mom told me when I came here, "Don't make enemies." and that's the first thing I did and kept doing the whole time I was here. Sorry mom, I should've listened.

Episode Nine [5.09]

[edit]

[Gordon checks on sauce brought up by Ben]

Gordon: Oh Ben!
Ben: Chef!?
Gordon: [returns the sauce to the workstation] Right, all three of you [Ben, Danny & Robert] come here. Here we go. [with spoons] Taste time! Quick, quick, dig in there, yes? Dig in. Make sure you take a nice big mouthful. Big mouthful. Mmmmmm. [spits out the sauce as does Robert]
Robert: (interview) I spit it right out, it was disgusting.
Gordon: Hey, salty soup! You're just reheating it!
Ben: Yes.
Gordon: So, how can you fuck it?!
Ben: It was bland before I over reduced it, it's my fault, I should've tasted it chef.
Gordon: You're clumsy! You salted it!
Ben: Yes chef.
Gordon: You over seasoned it!
Ben: Yes I did, chef.
Gordon: You didn't over reduce it!
Ben: (interview) I'm a soldier, that's why I say yes chef.
Gordon: One beef salad. Entrées: one bass, one New York steak.
[a woman comes up to the hotplate to reorder food]
Lady: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Yes, madam?
Lady: Totally flat. No flavor on the carpaccio. This the second time I've had to reorder.
Gordon: Okay, thank you. (to the blue team) Hey, get the veal along please, yes? Let's go.
Lady: Chef! [whistles to Gordon]
Gordon: (to the woman) Right! Don't whistle at me, I'm not your fucking dog, yeah? You look more like a dog than I do. Fuck off, will you?

[Gordon checks on potatoes brought up by Carol]

Gordon: Oh dear. Excuse me! Oh, dear! Let's go, come down! Hurry up! Taste them. There, there you go, there's a nice big slice for you. Aw, fuck it!
Carol: Hard and raw chef.
Gordon: Fucking hell! [throws the potatoes away] Why are the potatoes crunchy? Who cooked them then?
Carol: I did chef. If they go in the oven when the order comes in, they should be fully cooked. (interview) I don't know why they didn't cook. I never cooked potatoes that long before I sliced that thin.
Gordon: (To Jean-Philippe) Hey, come in here you! Have I got news for you, yeah? Tell him then, tell him! HE'S GOING TO GO AND EXPLAIN TO THE CUSTOMER!!
Jean-Philippe: What's happening?
Carol: The potatoes are undercooked. If they go in when the order comes in, they should be fine.
Jean-Philippe: What's undercooked?
Gordon: Say that again?!
Carol: If she [Andrea] fires it when the order comes in, when it's ready to go -
Gordon: Au-gratin dauphinois need to be cooked before service!
Carol: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Now you're blaming her.
Carol: I'm not blaming her chef.
Gordon: Hey, Andrea, she's trying to sabotage. She can't even tur -
Carol: I'm not.
Gordon: What?
Carol: I'm not sabotaging.
Andrea: (interview) I was embarrassed for Carol. She's pointing out other people's mistakes. Point me out! I dare you!
Gordon: Here's the next question, how long then til they cook?
Carol: Maybe ten minutes.
Gordon: Oh, look how cool she is! She said "maybe ten minutes"!
Carol: (interview) They should've been done. Why didn't they cook?
Gordon: (to the customers) Maybe ten minutes everybody, for your Au-gratin dauphinois!! (to Carol) Look at them, the poor souls! Are you stupid?!
Carol: No, chef. I'm not.
Gordon: Bullshit! [throws his towel away]
Andrea: (interview) Those potatoes! I was embarrassed for Carol.
Gordon: Why didn't they cook to begin with?
Carol: Chef, yes, I cooked them in the cream for an hour.
Gordon: WHAT?!
Carol: Yes.
Gordon: You cooked them in the cream for an hour?
Carol: In boiling cream for an hour.
Gordon: Crunchy gratin dauphinois. Useless.

[Carol pours more cream over her potatoes]

Gordon: What is that on there?
Carol: I just poured more cream on it and I'm going to put it back in.
Gordon: My God! Oh, Jesus Christ! [gets the potatoes and dumps them all in the bin] Are you mad...
Carol: No, chef.
Andrea: (interview) There were no saving those potatoes. None whatsoever. They just looked like shit. They looked like fucking shit! It was awful.
Gordon: I wouldn't even serve that to a fucking pig farm, madam. Forget it. [throws the tray into the sink] You don't care, do you? Because if you did care, you wouldn't serve me that crap! This is supposed to be your exciting menu! Really?
Carol: (interview) I feel completely awful. This is such a great dish and I fucking ruined it!
Gordon: I expect you, you and you to come up with an ALTERNATIVE! Sautéed potatoes, green pota- COME UP WITH ONE! It's your menu! You all look like this. [holds his finger up towards his mouth] No. COME UP WITH ONE!

Episode Ten [5.10]

[edit]
Gordon: On order, six covers table 20. Entrées: Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one Dory. Wellington's medium, yes?
Final 6: Yes, chef!
Gordon: (to Andrea) Right Andrea, what's going? [gets no answer] No answer. I'm not in the best of moods, ah? I don't like being ignored in my own fucking kitchen. What's going?
Andrea: I have no idea, chef.
Gordon: Oh, my God almighty.
Robert: (interview) On garnish, you've got to be thirty seconds before everybody else. If she's not checking the tickets for us, we're screwed.
Gordon: Yes, chef.
Gordon: Hey, she's running the section, yet she has no idea of what's going. (to Giovanni) Tell her, chef.
Giovanni: Two wellingtons one medium, one medium-rare and lamb medium? I'm sorry, lamb medium-rare. Two lamb medium-rare.
Gordon: Oh my God.
Robert and Ben Walanka: Two chicken.
Paula: Two chicken and a Dory.
Giovanni: Two wellington, Two chicken and a lamb.
Gordon: Two wellington, two chicken, one lamb, one fucking Dory.
Final 6: Yes, chef!
Gordon: One wellington's medium, the rest is FUCKING NORRRRRRMAL.
Final 6: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Unlike us. (to Andrea) What's going, madam?
Andrea: I have no idea, chef.
Gordon: You have no idea.
Andrea: I have no idea, chef.
Gordon: Hey, come here you. Hey... fuck off! Hey madam, (points to the front entrance) through the door there! FUCK OFF!
[Andrea walks out of the door while the camera crew follows her]
Andrea: Get that fucking camera out of my face.
Jean-Philippe: Andrea, relax. The only thing he wants from you is to come back. You need to fight back. If you don't, you're finished.
Andrea: (interview) This is the hardest... most difficult, most up-and-down thing that I've ever, ever done in my entire life! [to Jean-Philippe] It's just been out of fucking control tonight. There's no communication with anybody, and I just haven't recovered.
Jean-Philippe: You want to stay?
Andrea: Yes, I want to fucking stay! I've been through too much hell right now to fucking leave!
Jean-Philippe: Absolutely. So keep it to Gordon.
Andrea: (interview) It's just a reminder of how difficult it's been and how much...how much I just want this so bad.
Jean-Philippe: So now you need to be strong. Go back in there, and give it your best shot. Go on, then!
Andrea: (interview) I put everything I have into this every day, and I just had to go in there and fight for the rest of it.
Gordon: [to Andrea] Right, what's going?
Andrea: Two chicken, two lamb, one wellington, one Dory.
Gordon: Thank you. Back in the kitchen! NOW WAKE UP, ANDREA!
Andrea: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Dory, salmon, lamb, wellington!
Robert: Two minutes, chef!
Gordon: [notices Robert putting the bacon into the John Dory] Robert, just come here!
Robert: Oh, shit!
Gordon: Why have you put the bacon inside the Dory?
Robert: To crisp it up, chef, real quickly.
Gordon: What's the bacon with?
Robert: For the scallops.
Gordon: So why have you put it with the Dory? Suppose he's allergic to bacon! You can send somebody to the hospital on the back of that!
Robert: Oh, you're right.
Gordon: Oh, come on! [kicks a bin] "You're right"? Course, I'm fucking right! Get the bacon out!
Robert: (interview) Yeah, I fucked up and you know what? I know in my heart, I got it. I'm a bull.
Gordon: Come on, Mr Bacon Man!
Narrator: While Robert tries again on the John Dory, Chef Ramsay is counting on Giovanni on the meat station to get out the first entrée of the night.
[Gordon checks on chicken special at the pass]
Gordon: (with a chewed up piece of chicken) What is that?
Scott: Giovanni's best.
Gordon: Hey, Ben.
Ben Walanka: Chef?
Gordon: Is that a chewed up bit of chicken from the dog? Here. [gives the chicken to Ben] That's your special. Yeah, have a word with him, yeah? He's given up. Take all the garnish back, do whatever you wish with it. Your special has now become not very special, thanks to dickface (Giovanni) there. Hurry up, Giovanni!
Giovanni: Yeah, but I'm not dickface, chef.

[a dramatic music cue plays.]

Gordon: Yeah, say that again?
Giovanni: I said I'm not dickface, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, you're pissed, are you? Not as fucking- Look at me, LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES!!! YOU'RE NOT AS PISSED AS I AM!!! YOU FUCKING ARE!!! DONKEY!!!
Giovanni: No.
Ben: (interview) Whoo! Boy, oh boy.
Gordon: Cause RIGHT NOW, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, DICKFACE!
Giovanni: (interview) I'm an emotional person, but he can get in my face all he wants, he will not break me.
Gordon: You're sending SHIT, and you're trying to get away with it! Now I'm READY for an argument! SENDING ME THAT, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!!!
Robert: (interview) You know, he just wants you to pop off.
Gordon: And you wanna get all sensitive! You want to get all fucking negative!
Giovanni: No, chef!
Gordon: Look at me, look at me, you send me shit like that, take your jacket and FUCK OFF!!
Giovanni: Yes, chef!
Gordon: I'm not sending that SHIT, "CHEF!"
Giovanni: No, chef. Sorry, chef. (interview) I wasn't angry at him, I was angry at myself. It was just, I was boiling inside and... and he said something to me.
Gordon: That's the well done one. And look at me, I think you're too fucked to get upset with me, you don't give a fuck what I call you. This is not personal, this is professional! That personal was a piece of shit, now put it BACK!!!
Giovanni: Yes, chef.
Gordon: DICKFACE!
Gordon: Giovanni, Robert! Hey Andrea, come here you! [gathers them at the corner] All three of you are pathetic! You (Giovanni) don't care...
Giovanni: I care, chef.
Gordon: You're (Robert) way behind, and you (Andrea) haven't got a fucking clue! Can we WORK TOGETHER AS A TEAM?!
Giovanni, Robert and Andrea: Yes, chef!
Gordon: Two wellington. One well-done! Get it UP!!!
Robert: Where’s your wellingtons at?
Giovanni: I have them right here, already cooked.
Robert: Ahhhhh! Fuck! Why you fucking got a hot pan?!
Danny: (interview) One station failed...
Scott: [Andrea's pan catches on fire] Pan's on fire, pan's on fire!
Danny: ...and another station failed. It's no joke.
Gordon: We're going up in flames. [picks up Andrea's pan]
Paula: (interview) First night with the Black team, one big cluster fuck.
Gordon: Same shit, different day! (throws the pan into the sink)
Scott: [Ben's pan also catches fire] What about the rest of the table? We need cover-up.
Gordon: Dynamic six, yeah. My fucking ass. Fuck off, the lot of you. [walks out of the kitchen and throws his towel away]
Gordon: [calls the five chefs back in the kitchen after Giovanni's elimination.] I just spent the last hour upstairs in my office thinking. It just doesn't make sense! How can the final six be so shit? I called you all down here because on the back of that performance, I'm now going to do something I have never ever done before. I'm shutting down Hell's Kitchen.

Episode Eleven [5.11]

[edit]
Narrator: After a couple of days without any word on how Robert is doing, Chef Ramsay calls the chefs down for a meeting.
Gordon: So you're feeling fresh, very relaxed. Did you enjoy the whole atmosphere at the Borgata Resort?
Danny: Very much so.
Ben: Incredible, Chef.
Gordon: Sadly, you came back minus one individual. Clearly, you're all deeply concerned. I'm not going to tell you how he's doing, I'm going to let him tell you himself. Chef Robert.
[Robert appears and everyone applauds and smile]
Gordon: Okay, big boy. Let me just say how pleased I am to see you.
Robert: Thank you.
Gordon: How are you feeling?
Robert: Not good.
Gordon: Ah?
Robert: Not good.
[Ben stops smiling.]
Gordon: What did the medics say?
Robert: I have pericarditis, which is the swelling of the sac around the heart which leads to heart disease.
[Gordon shakes his head in dismay, Andrea and Paula fight back tears.]
Gordon: Oh dear. Are you coming back?
Robert: No.
Gordon: No?
[Danny's face drops]
Robert: I'm not coming back.
[Ben has been struggling on the garnish station]
Gordon: What's going, Ben? (gets no response) Oh, my God almighty! Oh, come on. Three Dory, two salmon, one chicken. (sees what Ben is doing) Why is he putting the lettuce there like that? He's trying to sauté it.
Scott: I don't know, chef.
Gordon: Look at the mess of this guy.
Scott: He throwing everything in a pot.
Ben Walanka: (interview) I was just absolutely... just mind-boggled.
Gordon: [picks up a pan and a piece of lettuce] You've got a pan here like that and you're throwing lettuce on top like that... you're shit. You are so shit, you don't realise what you're doing!
Danny: (interview) Oh, man Ben! Like, come on. You know better than that.
Gordon: Hey, come here a minute. Why are you doing this? You're just adding the lettuce to the tomato and cucumber, you're not sautéing the lettuce?
Ben: Chef, I was in a side pan s-sautéing the tomatoes and the cucumbers, chef. But I did it wrong, chef.
Gordon: Yeah, you're fuckin' up, you're cutting corners, and you're slipping big time! Do you know what? Do you know your biggest problem that'll always be the downfall of your career? You're full of fuckin' shit! 'cause every time you get fuckin' something wrong, you give a bullshit fuckin' excuse, but right now, I'm fed up with your bullshit excuses!
Ben: (interview) There's really nothing that I can do to please Chef Ramsay, and I'm slowly but surely being able to accept that.
Gordon: FUCK OFF!!
Ben: Yes, chef.
Gordon: You're too dangerous to have on service. I asked you what you're doing, you said you're sautéeing tomatoes, ARE YOU FUCK! YOU DIRTY PIG! GET OUT!! GET OUT!! Un-fuckin'-believable.
[Ben walks into the pantry and angrily bangs his head on the door]
Ben: (interview) What the fuck is going on?! I–I'm very upset right now, but I don't give up. I'm a good cook, I know how to cook. You know, I feel like I need to really try and pull it together. [goes in the bathroom to wash his face] Okay, we're back. (interview) I certainly ain't leaving here without a fight. I'll tell you that.
[Ben returns to the kitchen after a quick break]
Gordon: Yeah, right. Hey, you! Come here you! What's going through your mind now? You still going to fucking butcher me and slice me and serve shit to them?
Ben Walanka: No, chef!
Gordon: Where's your fight, man?!
Ben: It's here, chef!
Gordon: Where is it?!
Ben: I got it, chef!
Gordon: Then wake up, you doughnut!
Ben: YES, CHEF!
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