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Have you ever woken up and expected to see destruction everywhere?

In 48 hours, I lost everything. I came home to find my girlfriend of four years with another man. The next day a plane crash ripped my family away from me, shattering me in the process. In many ways, I died that day, too. The fun-loving man who'd lived in the fast lane and loved his career in the film industry was gone. Left was a forty-year-old shell that dwelled at the bottom of a bottle.

Only one person knew what I was going through. My sister's stepson, who hadn't been on the plane. Julian knew what it was like to lose everyone he loved, too. He'd stopped showing up at reunions when he was a teenager, so I didn’t know him very well. But I told him at the memorial service he could come out and visit me in LA whenever. One day he did, and I guessed it was as good a day as any to start picking up the pieces and see what was left of us.

283 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 26, 2016

169 people are currently reading
1788 people want to read

About the author

Cara Dee

100 books3,989 followers

I'm often stoically silent or, if the topic interests me, a chronic rambler. In other words, I can discuss writing forever and ever. Fiction, in particular. The love story—while a huge draw and constantly present—is secondary for me, because there's so much more to writing romance fiction than just making two (or more) people fall in love and have hot sex. There's a world to build, characters to develop, interests to create, and a topic or two to research thoroughly. Every book is a challenge for me, an opportunity to learn something new, and a puzzle to piece together. I want my characters to come to life, and the only way I know to do that is to give them substance—passions, history, goals, quirks, and strong opinions—and to let them evolve. Additionally, I want my men and women to be relatable. That means allowing room for everyday problems and, for lack of a better word, flaws. My characters will never be perfect.

Wait…this was supposed to be about me, not my writing.

I'm a writey person who loves to write. Always wanderlusting, twitterpating, kinking, and geeking. There's time for hockey and cupcakes, too. But mostly, I just love to write.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 466 reviews
Profile Image for Judith.
724 reviews2,924 followers
May 1, 2016
3.75 Stars







Noah is a 40 year old film producer.He returns home from a job earlier than expected to find his girlfriend of 4 years with another man.The next day his family are killed in a plane crash(not a spoiler,it's in the book blurb)
Unsurprisingly he falls into deep despair and finds comfort in drink.
The only family member he has left is his dead sisters stepson,Julian.He hasn't had too much interaction with him over the years until he turns up for the Memorial Service.

Julian,23 is a complex young man.He's known from a young age he was gay and has never really fit in anywhere in his life.A few weeks after the Memorial Service he turns up at Noah's door.

Noah doesn't really put a label on his sexuality.As well as having a long term girlfriend he's also dabbled with men in the past.
The two men are united in their grief and their emotions were very well portrayed.They start a tentative friendship but Noah soon finds he has to fight his sexual attraction to Julian.
One night,a line is crossed and they share a very steamy night together.
The next day they decide it was just a one time thing and although they continue living together they start seeing other people.

Fast forward 9 months and they can't fight their mutual attraction any longer.
Let me just say when they start getting down and dirty it's extremely hot.It's raw and desperate...just how I like my men to be.I fell in love with Julian from the beginning but I'm still not sure how I feel about Noah's character.

What didn't really work for me....

Because Noah's directing a film there are quite a few scenes from his film played out and I didn't particularly like those parts of the book and found myself skimming them.

The last 40% when they were in Paris I really enjoyed.They finally get to explore their relationship properly.It's so sweet at times and very hot.
I haven't read this Author before and while this didn't completely wow me I did enjoy it and would definitely read more from her.....
Profile Image for ~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semi-colons~✡~.
3,447 reviews1,024 followers
April 26, 2016
~4.5~

I didn't fall in love with this book until Paris.



At the beginning, there's grief and tears, and cheating ex-girlfriends.

Noah wants to do right by his nephew Julian, but following an unspeakable tragedy, he can barely get out of bed and shower.



Julian is Noah's older sister's stepson. She raised him, and he calls her "mom," but he is not related to Noah, who's been so busy living the Hollywood life he hasn't seen Julian in years. Noah was never a true uncle; he barely knows Julian when Julian, now 23, shows up on his doorstep in Los Angeles.

What I loved most about Noah is that he's open and self-aware. His voice is real and strong.



He swings somewhere around a 2 on the Kinsey scale and has been with guys before; he's just never had romantic feelings for a man, not until Julian, who is not only his nephew in name but 17 years his junior.

My heart broke for Julian. Even with Noah, he's so alone. He doesn't think Noah really wants him, not for anything but sex anyway.

The book skips two weeks forward in nearly every chapter. At one point there's a nine-month time lapse. The men come together for one night only to start dating (and fucking) other people. This didn't sit well with me, although I understood that they needed to move beyond their pain to truly SEE each other as partners, not just two guys sharing a tremendous loss.

Noah is a B-list producer, Julian a musician. They bond over music and film. While I didn't need the level of detail about the film Noah was directing, it certainly added to the authentic feel of the business (in L.A., there's only one business, no explanation needed).

Once the men finally open up to one another in Paris, where Noah is directing scenes for a movie his good friend Tennyson is producing, the feels keep on coming. One of my favorite moments is when the men visit Sacré-Cœur, and Noah asks Julian out on a date.

"You know, room service for dinner doesn't sound bad. Then we wouldn't have to leave the bed."

I groaned a laugh and stole one more kiss. "Don't fucking tempt me. But no. Indulge me. I want—"

"The couple shit?" [Julian] quipped.

I inclined my head and smirked. "That's right. Besides, I thought we said no sex."

"You said that. I was being hypothetical."

At heart, this is a tender, romantic story about two men who have to move beyond perceptions and labels to find each other.



The passion between Noah and Julian is combustible, and Cara Dee sets the page on fire with the explosive, rough sex. Noah is an ass man through and through, and there's even naughty student/professor role play. So very HAWT.

Noah's personal assistant Nicky is a shifty, slimy fucker who worms his way into Julian's bed. He tries to play a game with Noah, but Noah is having none of that. Nicky definitely gets what's coming to him.

I liked Noah's friends, who eventually become Julian's friends, and have his back always. Tennyson's pretty damn smart, and Sophie's a total spitfire.

I loved the epilogue and the second epilogue (from Julian's perspective), which is available only on Cara's website. Don't miss that one. It made me crazy happy.
Profile Image for Jewel.
1,905 reviews276 followers
May 9, 2021
I loved this book just as much the third forth time around. Brilliant.

-----Original Review, June 2016-------
"Does love conquer all?"..."No," ... "but I believe it gives us what we need in order to fight."


And so it does. Noah is a gorgeous story by an author who has managed to become a favorite of mine, very quickly. I, easily, got lost in the imagery and the feelings of loss and of love. Noah has a tragic beginning of betrayal of a lover and then the greatest loss of a family, in an instant. The story is told from Noah's POV so we spend a lot of time inside his head, feeling his pain, his doubts, his struggles with attraction and, finally his love for Julian. I loved every moment of this story, from the angsty beginning, to the gorgeous ending.

Noah Collins is a successful, 40 year old Hollywood director. He's not an A-lister, which is just fine with him, but he's done well. He's worked very hard to get where he is and he's happy. Or so he thought. But walking into his house while his girlfriend was cheating on him, and then losing his whole family the next day in a plane crash, sent Noah to a pretty dark place. Noah does not cope well, at all, and turns to self medicating with alcohol. His friends are awesome and understanding, but there is really only one person that truly understands what he is going through. And that would be his nephew (by marriage, not by blood), Julian. He and Julian have never been close and haven't seen each other in years, until the memorial service.

Julian Hartley is 23 and feeling lost and alone. He's struggled with depression for a couple of years and the only things that are really his are his music and his love of art. Losing his family felt like everything else was taken away. After taking Noah up on his offer to come stay with him in LA, he also discovers that his teenage crush on Noah never went away. For the longest time, though, he is determined to deny his feelings are actually real.

Noah and Julian dance around each other for ages, even as they take comfort in each others company. They help each other through their grief and learn to live again. Noah , especially, struggles with his growing feelings toward Julian. It feels wrong to him at first, even though they barely know one another. Not only is there the family connection, but Noah is 17 years older than Julian. So they dance. And they deny. And they try to move on from one another, to more "appropriate" partners.

The story really takes off in Paris. The imagery was so romantic and Noah and Julian finally face their feelings for one another. And they fly. I loved that their story didn't feel so angst filled. The tragic beginning was there, but beyond that, their relationship wasn't really filled with unnecessary drama. Yeah, it took Noah a good while to come to terms with his feelings for Julian, but once he finally got there, they were unstoppable.

I simply loved it!
Profile Image for Ele.
1,319 reviews40 followers
April 6, 2019
Cara Dee nailed this one. NAILED it!

I have enjoyed the Aftermath series and Public Display of Everything, but this was special. Without any dramatic plot twists or suspense, it is the perfect blend of realism and emotion that really touched me. That, and the great writing.

The author couldn't have chosen a better title. This book is all about Noah! Being inside his head was an absolute delight and I loved every minute of it. He's all in, or all out. He's a romantic but rational as well. He will give you everything, but he will never forgive betrayal. I variously found myself identifying with him.

So Noah, 40 year old assistant director extraordinaire and "proud cuddle slut", is shit out of luck. Coming home from his trip, he finds his girfriend cheating on him. And then the next day his whole family gets killed in a plane crash. The only person who can understand what he's going through, because he's experiencing the exact same thing, is Julian, his dead sister's stepson.

23 year old Julian was a complex character and harder to read, since we didn't have his POV. But he's full of contradictions, and I loved that.



Together they mourn. The grief part was very well done; it didn't override the story but it was so very real. I can't not mention the moment that Noah learns about the plane crash. His reaction and the description of his emotions at the time are indicative of the quality of writing.

And this is how it starts. Noah and Julian kind of save each other. When one of them is close to falling apart, the other is there to catch him. And Noah will NOT let Julian hide.
"Don't give me any of that shit. Wanting comfort ain't fucking reserved for women and children, and it's barely been two months since we lost everyone."

The friendship turns to lust, and lust turns to more. They try to resist it, but there is cuddling and a few stolen nights, when they decide to be "weak".
"I wanna be weak tonight, Noah," he murmured. "Please?"
No fucking clue what he meant by weak, but it fit well, I supposed. 'Cause I was too weak to resist.
"Okay."



But Paris is the city of love... And although Noah and Julian fell for each other long before that, it's in Paris that they 'll give in completely.



The time jumps work great and really add to the story. The cast of secondary characters was amazing and the movie that Noah was working on, really came alive through the pages; it felt like there was a story in the story. The sex scenes were smoking! Noah is so open and liberated about his sexuality, and the way he sees himself; it was truly refreshing.

What I'm trying to say (in not so few words) is that this book is special. It goes straight to my 2016-favorites shelf. Highly recommended for ALL MM romance readers.

Make sure to stop by the author's site for the prologue and epilogue from Julian's POV. They 're amazing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to my bestie, Renee, for the BR!

*Review cross-posted on Gay Book Reviews.*
Profile Image for *J* Too Many Books Too Little Time.
1,921 reviews3,715 followers
May 5, 2016
3.5 Stars!



Meh....this one didn't do much for me.

I never really connected to Noah or Julian. Every time jump was less on-page time they spent together connecting.

Yeah, Paris helped. Some. But by the time we got there I had already checked out, so it didn't save it for me.

Something about the writing was off too. Choppy? Monotone? Something....



I didn't really like being in Noah's head the whole time either. It seemed to be the same thoughts over and over again.

The sex was hot, I'll give it that. But ultimately there was skimming involved in the end.

So, an okay read for me.

Profile Image for Susan.
2,325 reviews452 followers
April 27, 2016
I didn’t really like this. I was so happy when it was over.

I have to admit, Cara Dee is a very talented author and the writing was great. It was just the story that didn’t do anything for me.

I really liked how Noah and Julian found comfort in each other after losing their family. I loved the first part where they grew closer, and that first sex scene was HOT!

But this book is filled with one of my major pet peeves, time jumps. After the first sex scene we get a 9 month time jump where we’re told both of them have been seeing other people. Oh boy, do I hate it when that happens in a story. I don’t want my guys to sleep with other people once they have been together for the first time.

And then each new chapter starts with: 2 week later… I hated that. I felt so disconnected to the story because of it.

I really wanted to be there when these guys spend time together. Now I felt this book was filled with scenes of friends, the reaction of the remaining family, the stupid movie Noah was directing and other stuff, but not the romance itself.

And the movie…. ugh… I really didn’t want to read the scenes where they were shooting the tragic movie about a woman and her son. That’s the kind of movie I never want to see, so please don’t have me reading about it in a book.

Overall, I can see why people would like this book, but it didn’t do anything for me.

description
Profile Image for Darien.
867 reviews321 followers
September 9, 2021
This!!! Bitch I said this....


Cara Dee is starting to become a fave author of mine. There hasn’t been a book that I didn’t love by this author.

I’m gonna say first, I love the friendship between Noah and Julian. I was expecting lots of sexy times based off some hard times but I got the opposite. Two men falling deeply in love and leaving the reader with that its all solid. I think if they would have went straight for it, it would have been a relationship solely based off tragedy.

Overall, this was good and just freaking wholesome. Enough angst and UST to light your panties on fire and enough sweet to have hearts in your eyes 😍😍😍
Profile Image for Kaje Harper.
Author 88 books2,689 followers
May 31, 2016
This book was free when I picked it up, and I enjoyed it a lot. Despite the concatenation of losses that open the book, it felt more realistic than melodramatic. I found the writing here more engaging and emotional than in Aftermath, and I identified with the narrator. Noah held my attention, as he tried to cope with the loss of most of his family, the breakup with his girlfriend, and the attraction he felt for his sister's adult step-son. The conflict was well done - I believed in the way Noah was caught between the feelings he was developing for Julian, and the pain of knowing that his dead family members would hardly have approved.

The progression of Noah's climb out of grief and toward love is uneven, and the obstacles, although often psychological, didn't feel manufactured. Interesting characters, plausible movie-industry details, and a smooth writing style made this a pleasure to read.
Profile Image for Ky.
589 reviews87 followers
January 18, 2018
4.5 stars

I love Cara Dee's work. Most of the time her characters have to go through a painful journey before they find their happiness. And that's what happened here too. A tragedy followed by healing.

In Noah we follow the MCs through two years of their lives. They change a lot from the first time we see them till the moment we leave them. I liked Noah and Julian's story and I'm looking forward to seeing them again in future books.

It was very interesting to see the making of a film and following it through the many stages until it reached the big screen. The story for it was interesting and very emotional even though we only got glimpses of it. In a way the romantic story ran parallel to the making of the film. Noah and Julian's story started when Noah first saw the script and we leave them to their HEA once the film is complete and on the big screen for the first time.

I didn't have a problem with the big age difference (I think it was 17 years) or with their familial connection. They weren't related by blood and they never had a close relationship in the past but still they had to face the public opinion since their relationship was considered unconventional.

The bad guy, Nicky, was a trully awful person, he was a user and very selfish. I was satisfied with the way his future went after everything he did.

Now, I'm off to read Julian: The Outtakes.
Profile Image for Papie.
837 reviews175 followers
January 9, 2021
I don’t think I’ve met a Cara Dee book I didn’t like, and this was no exception. I think I didn’t read this one before just because I wasn’t into the cover. Not a beard fan. 😜

I adored Noah and Julian. Absolutely adored. I’m a huge fan of age-gap romances, and the added twist of Julian being his (step) nephew was awesome.

I’ll say that I didn’t feel the absolute devastation I should have felt about the loss of their entire family. Maybe it was too early in the book? But I felt all the love between the two MCs. And the steam was ah-ma-zing. 🔥

4.5 stars overall, rounded down because it dragged a bit in the end.
Profile Image for Renée.
1,152 reviews402 followers
February 28, 2022
~This book gets all the stars!~



There is something about Cara Dee's writing. I simply adore the way she tells a story. And she doesn't pull you in because it's the Pride and Prejudice of 2016. She writes in a way that's the perfect relationship-build, angst, inner dialogue, etc. to come up with an equation that equals perfect in my eyes. This was MY perfect MM romance.

Noah Collins is a 40 year old assistant director in Hollywood. The book opens with the complete upheaval of his life. He returns home a day early from a movie set to find his live-in girlfriend of four years, the woman he finally settled down with and thought was the one, in bed with another man. And how does Noah react? He doesn't do overdramatic. He does rational. He does mature. Even as his heart is breaking. He gets some good digs in, of-fucking-course, but they're not yelling, they're calm and rational. He was my hero in this scene.

"See, I knew we had some shit to talk about. That's why I'm off this summer, so we could work things out. It's what people do before they get hitched and bring kids into their lives."


And then, the very next day, his entire family dies in a plane crash (not a spoiler - this is in the blurb). His parents, his sister and her husband, his niece and nephew. He gets a small surprise in the form of Julian at the funeral. Julian is Noah's sister's husband's child from a previous relationship. He's 23 and just finished college. Julian has lost everything too - his parents, his brother and sister, his grandparents. Noah doesn't know Julian well, only meeting him a handful of times over the previous years. But Julian surprises him by playing Mad World on the piano and singing along.

Noah is drowning. He doesn't know what to do, how to continue everyday living. He has an awesome support system - some of the best friends in the world - and they are amazing to him. But he just can't. He finds himself drinking more often than not, with no purpose.



Until the day Julian shows up on his doorstep. He's the only one who knows what Noah is going through. He feels the same loss of self. They've lost everything, together. And it's with Julian's arrival that Noah can breathe again. No pretending. They can tackle this together. Or not tackle anything. Whatever it is, they know exactly how the other is feeling, and can just be, together.

But Julian gives Noah purpose. Noah realizes he has to do right by Julian. He needs to get out of the loft, he needs to start eating, he needs to stop drowning in alcohol.

The grief in this story is done so well. Everyone grieves differently, and Dee told this version perfectly. The grief never overwhelmed the story, where I wanted to slit my wrists reading another paragraph. But it was tangible, emotive, REAL.

And as Noah and Julian become each other's anchors, a beautiful friendship is formed. They give each other exactly what the other needs to begin again. Combined with a new project to work on, where he will be the lead Director for a script he's in love with, and Noah just blooms.

A single, premature night of revelations, from Julian and some of Noah's dreams, breaks the strong connection these men have. A multi-month time jump (which I normally don't care for at such an integral part of the story) was perfectly placed. It made sense, and it made it even more real.

Gone is the "No Pretending." They are friends, they spend a fair amount of time together, but gone is the easy camaraderie, the connection.

I didn't know how two guys managed to stay close and yet be a world apart, but we were kings at it.

Noah struggles with his attraction because he's Julian's pseudo-uncle. But jealousy is a fucker, and he soon realizes that he's fighting a losing battle. Julian lets slip some twinges of his own jealousy. None of this felt contrived. It felt so REAL.

They slowly make their way back to close. How do you write a slow burn without leaving the sexy times to the 80% mark? Dee can do it, cuz she's magic. The push/pull between these two was everything in this book. And not a single part of it didn't fit with EXACTLY how it should play out. Casual touches and then purposeful affection had me in a puddle on the floor.

Noah, with as blunt as he is, realizes that he's been protecting his own heart and Julian probably knows nothing about how he actually feels. Which, of course, is why Julian's been holding back too. The pieces of heartbreak killed me a little inside.

The smexy times? Holy hell, get your fan ready. Role play, some light bondage....this one made my panties melt.

The best secondary character in this book was the movie that Noah directs. His best friend is the producer, and Julian works on the musical score. The scenes where the camera is rolling came alive, and, I swear, I want to see this movie in RL! Dee is a master. I can't believe the talent that made those moments feel that way.

Bottom line, read this book. I cannot recommend it enough. It went straight to my all-time favorites shelf!

Bonus scenes on Ms. Dee's website: a prologue from Julian's POV and a second epilogue from Julian's POV.

~BR with my Greek goddess, Ele~
Profile Image for Chris.
2,070 reviews
January 12, 2018
This was a really sweet read - Noah & Julian lost their whole family in a terrible accident and simply fell apart. While Noah was technically Julian’s uncle, it was through adoption and not blood. Julian had secretly adored Noah from afar and had avoided him in later years so that his secret wouldn’t have been noticed. Of course tragedy brings people together and while Noah spent a year fighting his feelings, Julian persisted. Working together on set cemented their relationship and the chemistry built. I enjoyed the camaraderie of the friendship group and the easy vibe amongst the characters. Noah & Julian deserved their peace.
Profile Image for Fabi NEEDS Email Notifications.
1,037 reviews147 followers
February 4, 2017
Cara Dee can write and write well. I also appreciate the nearly spotless editing in her books.

Even though I enjoyed reading it, this particular story didn't quite wow me. It should have, given the circumstances of the MCs getting together. But I didn't quite connect. The relationship taboo isn't really a taboo for me and the reveal seemed so minor.

In spite of the lack of wow factor in the story. I still remain a big fan of Cara Dee. She has mad writing skill. I look forward to reading more of her books.
Profile Image for dammit, liz .
231 reviews2 followers
July 9, 2017
Wow. With the mixed reviews I've read from the people I follow on here, I was wondering if this might be a "meh" read for me. It definitely was not. This pushed every one of my buttons for what makes me fall in love with a love story.

To begin, the premise grabbed me. I'm a sucker for a sob story beginning with the promise of a happy ending. The beginning was downright depressing, which I love because I'm weird like that. Noah has lost everything- his girlfriend of four years has cheated on him, and shortly after his family dies in a tragic accident. There's one person he can relate to- his nephew by marriage. They don't feel the need to hide the fact that they're a complete mess even though they don't know one another. They quickly form a close friendship and begin the healing process together.

Noah's depression and grief were so relatable to me. I loved the realism of it- he wasn't miraculously cured, and he wallowed in it in a way that felt eerily familiar to the way I've dealt with depression- isolating himself, self-medication, and shutting down. It was immediately apparent that he was a good guy, and I was constantly rooting for him to find his happy place. The way his relationship with Julian progressed was perfect. They had an intense connection, but rather than jumping head first into a relationship, they gave each other space to find out if it was healthy. They dated other people, sought therapy, and found their way back together. Had they immediately become exclusive and inseparable, I would've been put off. It wouldn't have felt like genuine love, but rather codependency. This kept it real.

The connection these two had was beautiful. They were so passionate, intense, loving, and affectionate. There was a bit of slow burn tension, and when they acted on their desires, holy shit. Fireworks. I loved that even though Noah had a preference for woman, the fact that his attraction was to a man wasn't this huge deal. He was open-minded, didn't give a fuck about labels, and went with it. He didn't "turn gay," he just embraced fluidity. I appreciated the fact that though he probably would've been closer to the straight end of the spectrum, he had been open to attraction to men. It wasn't as if some magic connection made him change his orientation.

These characters- all of them- I loved (well, except Nicky). Noah, especially. Le sigh. New book boyfriend. As we see him healing, his true nature emerges. He's just such a damn good guy. He's likable, funny, and simultaneously smart/clueless. I loved that at heart he's just a really simple dude. He throws all of himself into whatever he does. He is unapologetic about his feelings. He doesn't take hints well, and he doesn't bullshit. Above all, he loves fiercely and loyally. We'd all be better off with a Noah in our lives.

The writing in this book is an excellent. When first person narration is done well, I love it. This author's style nailed it; the story felt so much more personal coming from Noah rather than a third person account. The voices of the characters were perfect, distinct, and believable. The style of dialogue worked so smoothly. Everything just fit. So many times I've read books centered around the entertainment industry that come off as cheesy, but not here. Even the use of technical film speak made it more believable to me.

I'd absolutely recommend this to anyone who wants a good love story and isn't afraid of a little dose of reality. If you want a book with genuine emotion and a good dose of healing fluff. If you've struggled with depression or grief and want a character you can really relate to. This is my first book by this author, and I'm always thrilled when that first experience is so damn good. I now know I have some more awesome reading to look forward to.
Profile Image for E.
415 reviews131 followers
dnf
August 17, 2016
DNF at 54%

I should have know not to keep going when I came upon this statement here at 22%:

"I'm not really into labels, kid. It restricts my fun. I suppose I'm straight, yeah; I never felt anything deep for a dude. Doesn’t mean I'll turn down a threesome with a hot couple, though. And it sure as hell didn't stop me from having fun with my buddies in college."

This usually would mean that you're bi, but it seems like so many authors have issues with using the word "bisexual" so I'm not surprised.

However, I kept going and the book just got worse for me from there. I had issues with the way the author seemed to have a hard time setting a scene so you could imagine what was going on. I also had major issues with the whole "uncle falls for his adopted nephew" business. It kind of skeeves me out, even though they're not related.

This book was just not for me.
Profile Image for Karen.
1,860 reviews92 followers
May 1, 2016
One tragedy, two men...

'Noah' is the first book I've read by Cara Dee and has placed her solidly on my 'need to read' list. I love an author who can draw me into a story from the very start, who makes me feel what her characters are feeling with an intensity that stays with me even after I've finished reading.

'Noah' is the story of how two men related by marriage and family lose that family and together find a way to rebuild their lives as seen through Noah's eyes. We are taken on his journey as he loses first the woman he believed he would spend his life with and then his family through a tragic accident. Noah's pain, anger, sense of loss for me was so vivid and real.

At 40 years old Noah is essentially a good man, he's confident, successful and knows what he wants or at least he did until his girlfriend cheats on him and an airplane crash takes away the family that he loves leaving him alone and floundering with no one who truly understands how he feels...no one except Julian, the 23 year old stepson of his sister Mia. Noah reaches out to Julian knowing that they are the only ones who can understand what they are each going through. It is this connection, this shared thread of loss and grief that draws these two men together allowing them to forge a bond. A bond that starts as mutual comfort and turns into friendship. Things become complicated for Noah when he realizes that what's between him and Julian has gone beyond the bonds of friendship.

Complications set in as Noah comes to realize that he wants more. After all Julian's his nephew...isn't he? No truly he's not. Noah has never really been an Uncle to Julian in any sense of the word. He actually knows very little about Julian, hasn't even seen him since he was a teenager. (It's all in the blurb)

The journey from beginning to end in this story was not easy and was filled with mistakes and frustrations. Noah's struggle with doing what he felt was right for Julian versus what he wanted had him waging an internal tug of war through much of this book. While Julian didn't have the same issues as Noah about their relationship, he definitely had his own issues that he struggled with.

I loved the secondary characters in this story these men were surrounded by true friends people who cared and believed in them and wanted the best for them as true friends should. Of course there were also a couple of characters that I could have done without but the story probably would have been boring without them. So to them I say....

Emma, please tell me what the hell it was, if it wasn't what it looked like? Because I was totally with Noah on that one. I'm thinking it was exactly what it looked like. So sorry sweetie you need to name it and claim it.

And Nicky, you my friend got exactly what you deserved. You were a manipulative and conniving little s-o-b who got his just desserts pizza in the end.

I loved the fullness this story had by showing us the lives of these two men beyond just them. The way everything at some point ultimately helped to connect them to the outside world and each other.

A couple of things that I'm not normally a fan of are time jumps and big age differences and yet neither of those things were an issue for me in this book...

Time jumps don't usually work for me because I'm often left feeling like I've missed something when they happen, for this story they worked because while I didn't feel like I'd missed anything it also kept the story from becoming overly detailed and boring.

I'm not truly sure that I understand why the age difference didn't bother me but it didn't so I'm just going to attribute it to the author's talent and the quality of the story being told and if all that isn't enough...well, let me just say there's always Paris.
Profile Image for Denise H..
3,202 reviews267 followers
April 30, 2016
*** Noah and Julian, two men who may never had gotten together without the tragedy. ****
He walks in on his girlfriend in bed with a guy, then the very next day a plane crash takes his family. Horribly sad, yes, but we as readers are not torn to shreds like Noah and Julian are, I think because we didn't know the family. We the readers are spared that, but we then feel deeply for our main characters as they grieve and come to terms with the life changing events.


Terrific cast of people, main characters that we love, even with their flaws, and it's a smooth flowing tale, with super soulful, sexiness that excites and fulfills.


Through it all, they find each other, drift apart from the "family" connection, but really, they are not blood related. Loved the older, hip, film director,"uncle" Noah, and younger, tattooed music major, Julian. We can feel the deep emotions of these guys, and all the thoughts they fight with.

Ragdoll cat - he named... Blue.

I loved their time in Paris.


There are obstacles of work, the exes, fear and some self loathing.
In the end, does love conquer all?

"no ...but I believe it gives us what we need in order to fight"

I highly recommend this beautiful, intense * stand alone * story.
I was riveted. ENJOY !!
================
Thank you Ralu for the recommendation !
====================================
Profile Image for Lily.
125 reviews30 followers
October 6, 2018
So I’m a little late to the party, but...

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I’m impressed.

I love Cara Dee’s books so it’s not that surprising, but this book is probably my favorite from her.

Why did I like it so much?

First of all, the FEELS.

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The beginning wrecked me. I felt for Noah and Julian, I can’t even imagine losing my entire family just like that.
And then the relationship angst started, and it was delicious. I just love it when the situation is like I-want-you-but-I-can’t-because-of-some-reason. Here the reason being the fact that the MCs are uncle and nephew. NOT related! But still, it’s a thing.

Reason number 2: the sexy times.

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Good lawd this book is hot. Dirty talking, uncle-nephew kink, teacher-student kink, just DAMN.

Third reason: The romance.

This is a slow burn, and it makes sense considering the all uncle-nephew thing. But even after the MCs get it on (so to speak), they continue to deny their feelings. The angst is delicious at the point (as I already mentioned), but it’s not that romantic. The real romance start at the last part, when they go to Paris. Oh how I loved that part. These two just killed me with romantic dates, hot sex, being all sweet and in love. Man, it was romantic and so so satisfying.

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Honorable mention to the secondary characters. They were all awesome and supportive, and I think they all have their own books (which I haven’t read yet).
Not so honorable mention to Nicky, the disgusting PA. It was so satisfying to know he got what he deserved.

Overall, this book gets 5 stars from me and is highly recommended!
Profile Image for CrabbyPatty.
1,694 reviews194 followers
February 9, 2020
Loved the hot dirty sex and unflinchingly honest relationship between Noah and Julian. Loved the way they both fought tooth and nail to overcome their almost unbearable loss and came out the other side stronger, and together. And, did I mention the sex?

BUT I got lost toward the end with Brooklyn and Sophie and Daniel and Tennyson and Ash and Zane -who the heck are these people? Okay, I now see that Sophie and Tennyson's story is told in Breaking Free and With Brave Wings ... but the rest? Anyhoo, I found them all a bit distracting.

Visit my blog, Sinfully Good Gay Book Reviews
Profile Image for Trio.
3,528 reviews202 followers
July 20, 2016
oh my god - LOVING THIS!

I really enjoyed the creativity of the story and the characters were all fine, I just felt by the end there I was getting tired of all the two weeks later... Not that I was looking for this book to be any longer, but it seems a bit of a cop out by the author, esp to do it so much. Regardless, I still gave it 4 stars. It wasn't enough to ruin the book for me or anything, it was just tiresome.

note: go on the author's website and read Julian's prequel (if possible before you read the book) I really liked it and I'm sorry it didn't make the final cut.
http://www.caradeewrites.com/#!freebi...
Profile Image for books_and_brew.
549 reviews35 followers
August 1, 2016

Noah fucking Collins can be my uncle any day...seriously

This book surprised me in both good and bad ways. I didn't love it as much as I thought I would (because who doesn't love a good taboo story line?) and I really wanted to 5 star this shit. Unfortunately something was missing for me...what that was is still a mystery to me.

Things I liked: (spoilery-ish)

-Noah was vegetarian! Why is this so awesome? Well, I'm vegan so I was legit happy to FINALLY get a book where the vegans/vegetarians aren't made fun of :) Score 1 for vegans!

-Noah and Julian were both very honest with each other. Outside of Julians "reason" for not coming out to his family they were no holds barred.

-Noah. Fucking Noah...I mean, Noah is one kinky bastard and I loved it! Maybe one of the hottest scenes I have read in 2016 was in this book. There may have been some role play and I might have needed a minute after I read it!

-The drama felt realistic...holy feelings did it feel real. The pain that Noah and Julian felt was so tangible that I had a hard time reading the pain they were going through. Well done Cara Dee.

Things I didn't like:

-The book felt a bit long for me. There were a few spots where I felt it could have been shortened as the scene didn't provide any information that was necessary to the overall story. That said, I could have also done without the details of the filming of the movie. For me, it took away from the actual story of Noah and Julian.

- Once they got to Paris, I lost a bit of the excitement I felt in the beginning of the book. This is a taboo read about Julian and his "uncle" getting down and dirty. We lost a little bit of that (not in the bedroom...oh no..not there) once they started embracing the relationship. I'm not sure why this bothered me but it did.

-I liked this book but I didn't love it. As I mentioned previously, there was just something off for me about Noah and I can't put my finger on it. I wanted something....but I can't tell you what that something is.

All in all, it was great! Not 5 stars great but still good nonetheless.

On to the next!
Profile Image for Christelle.
808 reviews
April 30, 2016
4 stars : a great down-to-earth romance.

Too lazy to write a review and my BR friends said it all anyway (and in a much better way I could muster).

Right from the start, I loved Noah and Julian, the main characters and was immersed in the book. No BS, no drama. It felt REAL.
Noah and Julian relationship was not rushed but developed nicely and the sex was hot.

Really recommended !
Profile Image for CaRo.
181 reviews31 followers
October 14, 2018
That one was kind of dragging for me. There was just something missin if I realise what ist is I will let you know 🙃
Profile Image for -C-.
373 reviews37 followers
October 20, 2016
This was cute and enjoyable but there wasn't anything that made it extra special for me.
"Does love conquer all?"
"No," he answered, "but I believe it gives us what we need in order to fight."
Profile Image for Monica Vidal.
787 reviews72 followers
July 14, 2018
Cara Dee, man...

description

Don't you love that feeling when you discover an author and every single book you read of them is made of golden?! Because that has been me this past week. Damn, Cara Dee where have you been my whole life? Every single one of the books I read from hers, is awesome. But let's get down to business and talk about Noah.

Noah came (ha-ha-ha) with stellar recommendation from a dear friend (liz!!!) so let's saymy expectations were high and boy they were totally met. This is probably to my list of favorites. I love it when a book is able to reach every spectrum of emotion: it's sad, it's funny, it's sexy, it's realistic...and Noah covers all the bases. It starts a little bit in the side of the depressed. Noah loses his whole family in a plane accident and also discovers his girlfriend of 4 years has been cheating on him, practically in the same day.

He find in alcohol his way of coping and he basically goes very down in the first few weeks after the accident. Enters Julian, who was Noah's sister's step son. What? Yeah, Julian's father was married to Noah's sister. They were family but they were not close...Noah's sister and family lived in Germany, but after the accident and since they both had lost their family, grief brought them together. Once Julian enters Noah's life, Noah's decided to change. He decides to get his shit together and sort of be strong for Julian. It doesn't happen magically tho, and that's probably what I liked most about this one. They both had to work to get out of depression and they supported each other through it. Obviously, with being living together came attraction and ay papi, these two together is fire.

Another thing I loved about it was how the relationship was developed. Once they had sex for the first time they both realized it could have came from codependency and they decided to take a step back and live and let it live, you know? They both had sex with other people (not on page but it's mentioned), they got professional help and once they were in a better place they gave it a go again.

And Noah...oh boy. I LOVE him. What an amazing character. The guy won me when he couldn't give a fuck about labels and was completely ok about being attracted for a guy, even tho he mostly identify as straight.

description

Don't get me started on the sex and the dirty talk because it's Cara Dee and she's not playing around. And I love how Vara plays around the taboo of them being nephew and uncle (but not really). It's dirty and hot.

"Leaning over him, I pressed my cock against his hole and kissed his neck. "Don't worry," I murmured. "Lube isn't necessary for a good tongue-fucking from your uncle."

description

Now, lemme go back to Cara. She has more waiting for me.


Profile Image for Jel.
148 reviews41 followers
January 18, 2023
Very disappointed by this book. When I found the book, I was expecting something like Just a bit Obsessed by AH but this was not it. I wanted a repressed and obsessed man but I got a frat boy instead. Maybe it’s just my fault for the high expectations. The book was also way too lengthy and I got bored fast. The story gets repetitive fast as we only get Noah’s pov and nothing really happens in the book.

SPOILERS

When they grieved due to the incident, Noah began drowning on alcohol and he even got Julian to join. Wtf, Julian 23 but why would you let him drink like that. The taboo element that I was expecting did not even appear as the characters weren’t close during Julian’s childhood.

I didn’t really care for any of the characters. Noah who is supposed to be in his 40s acts like a hormonal teen. It wasn’t bad until Julian starts confessing about his long time crush on his step uncle, Noah. This happened after they had seggs. 😑🤧

“A bit of the apprehension was back. "So I get it, Noah—I do. But I'm still gay, and I've had a fucked-up crush on you since I was sixteen.”


I was bewildered. Why does a young boy have a crush on a man twice his age. I could understand it if they were close but they WERENT. Noah wasn’t even a good uncle toward Julian (he admitted it himself). They barely talked and they barely see each other as Julian kept avoiding Noah because of his so called ‘crush.’ When has that crush came to be….don’t give me that bullshit that Noah is an extrovert, life of the party…that does not explain Julian’s crush. After having seggs, Noah tried to avoid Julian and he even got himself drunk on a daily. Sometimes he would find himself waking up on a random woman’s bed. He even went on dates to forget and deny his feelings for Julian. I don’t understand why he would have seggs with Julian, then starts to panick that his dead family wouldn’t approve. Wth. Even if alcohol played a role, it’s not the only drive for sure.


Meanwhile Julian dates someone (forgot the name) as a rebound. They’re in an open relationship. The dude isn’t that good too as he was banging other guys and tried to use Julian’s connection to his uncle to climb higher in the film industry. Noah’s behavior is just not like what a mature man would do. Julian comes off as quiet and doesn’t have much personality although he is rebellious at times. He also has depression which is mentioned by the end of the story. At that point I couldn’t be bothered to feel anything for the characters. The friend group are also uninterested and I was yawning throughout their interaction.
Profile Image for Raj.
750 reviews64 followers
April 27, 2016
This book felt like a screenplay with a monotone cool grey being it's dominant color.It's elegantly written,has a really beautiful cover & narrated almost analytically with a single mature voice of a 40 year man who is sexually enthralled to his 23 year pseudo nephew who is not really a blood relative.

Their bonding occurs due to tragic circumstances & even though the book has mildly incestuous overtones,the sexual scenes are it's biggest draw.They are raw & lack the sugar overdose that is usually prevalent in most mm books.There is no instant lust & the love that develops between these two is slow to evolve due to the forbidden nature of their relationship.

Despite the coldness of the book I quite enjoyed the parts I liked though I did not care much for the detailed movie scenes that one of the main characters was directing as it created large empty spaces breaking the emotional link that occasionally sparked between this reader & the men the story followed.

This book would have generated more warmth & a higher rating if Julian the younger character had been given an active voice.
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