Eyes of Idola, Part 2

This is Part 2.  Here is Part 1.

Concept 1: Entering the Dungeon

Descending the stairs into B1, the party reach rooms that are dark, crowded, flooded, and don't have any apparent ways out.  Then after solving some simple training puzzle (for more complicated puzzles later), they open a door and enter B1.

It's a crumbling stone bridge across a huge gap.  The real floor is 20' below you.  No visible walls, the sound of water lapping below, stale seaweed stink.

Approaching the bridge and the undead archer across the bridge will audibly (and slowly) draw his bowstring, giving the party time to react.

Charging across the crumbling bridge will break it and send the whole crumbling thing into the dark water below.

There's also a safe way down like stairs, but players will probably look at the bridge before they take the stairs down a second time.

If they want to kill the skeleton archer on the far side, they'll have to find to approach from the other side, or do some tricky climbing.

Sketch 1

Sketch 2

I'm not sure what shape the big room takes, but it can be a hub room for the Area 1.  (I've decided that this is the public-facing side of the temple grounds.

Area 1 Hub Room

Other ways to enter the dungeon are the elevator and the sealed door, back in the Mouth of Mormo dungeon.  The elevator goes to the crypts.  The sealed door goes to the cloister/monastery portion on the far side of the juggernaut.

Concept 2: The Juggernaut

Crushed bones on the floor, scrape marks on the wall, and ceilings higher than your torchlight illuminates.  The wall is covered with a repetitive motif: warped men and women, all uniquely deformed, carry offerings towards Area 6 (Inner Sanctum).

Of in the darkness, a pair of eyes flares to life 12' above the ground.  Something huge begins grinding its way towards you.  Slow and first, but rapidly gaining speed.  Sparks flash where metal wheels scrape against the walls, illuminating a huge, rigid shape.

Up close, the thing is a stone-and-iron juggernaut, topped with an elephant skull, bound to the machine by silver wires.  A pair of red flames dance in its skull, focused on you with homicidal intensity.

Originally, the area 2 hub was going to be a flooded crossroads that the players would cross on a rowboat or something, and the monster (that is trapped in this zone) was going to be a blob or water weird, but after mulling it over, the juggernaut sounds more fun, and more accessible.

I know that this was supposed to be a water dungeon, but I'm rethinking the flooded rooms bit.  It's something new (yay) and it offers a new challenge (yay) but flooded rooms actually seem to reduce player options (boo) compared to dry rooms.  (This dungeon was also supposed to have the gimmick of water levels that changed with the tide, but I might take that out, too.)

Mechanically, the juggernaut behaves kinda like those big crushy-stabby spike chariots in Elden Ring dungeons.  Although the juggernaut is rudely sentient, not mindless.  (My toxic trait is that I don't think that anything in a dungeon should be truly mindless.)

Cross-shaped areas won't work anymore, we need a new shape for Area 2.  I have a few ideas but I'm thinking about making it triangular, with an opening on each corner and in the middle of each side, for a total of 6.

W goes to Area 6 (Inner Sanctum).

E goes to Area 4 (Crypts)

The two N exits go to the remainder of Area 2 (Cloister/Monastery)

The two S exits go to Area 1 (flooded statue hub)

The reason that some of them are doubled up is because the juggernaut likes to park itself in corners, so it can watch two directions at once.

Area 2 - Built around a square cloister.  Rotating statue puzzle is in the center (rotate the statue to unlock whatever blue door it is currently pointing at).  Scriptoriums, weird cultic induction rooms, and evidence that the abbot was up to some weird shit.

Area 6 - Inner Cloister.  Put all the high weirdness stuff here.  This is the conceptual climax.  Contains Eolalia the Forgotten (the lady of sand).

Area 3 - The Reef Beneath.  I'm moving away from cursed reef and more towards weird goddess of prophecy and mutation.  This area is going to be changed to a little town in the sea cave.  A few buildings on a rocky shore, with a bridge to area 5.

The Sea Cave contains a family of dolphins--some of the most evil creatures known to man.  (Sharks are beloved because they are simple beasts, but dolphins are all allied to the merfolk, and they delight in the murder of men.  They are intelligent enough to know their own magic.  They taught themselves to laugh like humans do in order to taunt us.  The only thing they prefer above murder is rape.)

The dolphins will family tackle people off the bridge, knock them in the water, and then a pair of dolphins will grab your arms and drag you down to the bottom of the save.  They can also squirt water to put out your torch.  (They can echolocate just fine in the dark.)

Area 5 - Ralupon the Red is here.  He believes that you are here because he summoned you.

Factions and NPCs

Ralupon the Red (Manamanian enchanter).  

Metal rings sewn into his hair.  A thin black veil covers his eyes while a huge pair of eyes looks out from a painted wooden “hat” that stands tall upon his forehead.  He is either a wizard, or very superstitious.  He carries a staff.  A small eyebat hangs upside down from one of his ears.  (Eyebats intercept the first spell cast at their wizard.  If they are lucky, they can reflect it.)

Currently a nest of giant starfish + an evil wizard.  They are human hypnotists, enchanters, and illusionists.  They are closely aligned with the Empire of Dathroya, the largest nation of the merfolk.  Most claim that they are their secret vassals.  (This is true.)

He believes that he summoned the party here by burning weird stuff in a fire for a couple of days, at the advice of his master.  (“That curiosity in your heart?  The greed in your belly?  I put that there.”)

If befriended, he can pay you, or teach you enchantment.  You’ll need to travel to Manamar to study under a master and get your spellbook, though.  (Seek out Shaymish.)  Shaymish isn’t a person, it’s a river.  The spirit of that river can teach you enchanting.

He is the son of Razubek the Bey, the guy who originally assaulted this place and killed the cult.  

Ralupon is back to finish what his father started.  He wants to claim the Chalice of Immortality from the Inner Cloister.  He will tell you that strong enchantments prevent him from entering the dungeon.  (False, but contains elements of truth.)  Offers to geas you to help with your resolve.  Will attempt a suggestion if he thinks he can get away with it.  (This isn't evil.  It's not even rude.  It's practical.  Still intends to pay you when you're done.)

When the party meets him, he'll be sitting on a crown of thorns (Giant starfish, stats as ogre) but there is no puppeteer tentacle up his butt.  The giant starfish actually serves him.  If combat breaks out, two more giant starfish burst from where they were burrowed, nearby.  The stars serve him--or maybe he serves the mind stars.

Friendly guy, but the enchanters of Manamar grow up in an environment where love potions are considered completely normal facts of life.  Everyone enchants everyone all the time, for all sorts of reasons.  Because of this, most of his normal behavior (enchanting people) would be considered evil by most civilized people.

He smiles and wishes you well, and he genuinely means it, but he'll never shake your hand.  (Too risky.)  Nor will he ever let you within 10' of him.

Makes a good stew though.

Eolalia the Forgotten

Lives in the Inner Sanctum, wants you to kill Ralupon, destroy the merfolk ghouls that still linger her, and restore the wards.  Will reward you with the chalice of immortality (very reluctantly) and teach you how to be a cleric of Idola.  Long term, she also wants you to find the surviving members of the Idolan cult and convince them to make her human again.

Lives in the inner sanctum, which is completely covered with words.  Eolalia is immortal but her mind is not, and she forgets things constantly.  Because of this, she needs to write her entire history--literally everything she knows--along the walls and floors of the inner sanctum.

At first she wrote on the walls with blood (back when she still had blood) and then scratches.  But now her body is too crumbly to scratch the walls any more, and so she now writes on the floor with sand.  Every square inch of the floor in here is covered in minute sand writing.  A stray footstep would erase parts of her childhood that she would never recover.

Keeper of the Chalice of Immortality.  She is made of sand and can have a very normal conversation with you if you allow her enough time to read things off the walls and floor.

She is made of sand.  As long as she is touching sand, she will instantly regenerate.  (All of the rooms in the inner sanctum are covered in sand.)

The Mannikin

A paperclip maximizer demon thing.

Completely and utterly evil, but also completely focused on maximizing the number of clean and beautiful sets of clothing available for the Abbot to wear.  Cannot leave the a certain area (the cloister?)

Mother Narshay

One of the fully sentient undead, and one of the two leaders of the crypt.  

Wants you to kill all of the remaining merfolk ghouls (she'll know when you're done) and leave the crypts the fuck alone.  

Seriously, why do people keep coming into the crypts?  Its for the dead, not the living.

Salakhan Latsu

Huge, mad, evil ghast.  Distended, elongated, and twisted into a new shape that is better for grasping and swallowing than his living body ever was.  

Leader of the mer-ghouls.  Currently trapped between two portcullises in the BAD HALLWAY.  (This will be the first- or second-most difficult combat in the dungeon.  It'll be telegraphed well--the players can open this useful shortcut at their own discretion.)

(Digression: why the fuck are lacedons just regular dudes?  They should be undead merfolk ffs.)

Cloakers

I forgot they were here.  Led by Mwoheth.

Goblin Merchants

Hatchi Matchi and his "sons".  The goblin king commanded them to open up shop here for 7 years.  He had a good business tip.  (False.  Hatchi Matchi was sent here because he's annoying as fuck and everyone hated him.)

Grandmaster Grunky

Living frog statue that sells maps.

Some Secret Doors

Obvious Door, Hidden Switch

1. 

A round stone in the wall with a pair of holes in it, about 8 inches deep.  About the right size and height for two dudes to stick their peepees in.

One room over is a metal thing shaped like TT.  

This is a handle meant to be inserted into the two holes and rotated.  (You can achieve the same thing with three spears, if needed.)

2. 

Evolved version of the previous switch.  Now the pair of holes is in the bottom of a pool of water.  You'll have to try a little harder to get leverage.

3. 

Next to the sealed door is a doorknob inside a blood-soaked hand mutilation machine.  Reach inside, turn the blood-slick knob, and your hand is painfully removed.

Door is opened by pulling the chandelier.

4.

All of the bricks on the wall are covered with random words.  Print this out and give it to your players.

Except some of them aren’t nonsense words, and can be pressed to spell out “PRAISE IDOLA MOTHER OF WISDOM”, a phrase that is seen elsewhere in the dungeon.  Wrong piles = poison gas or something.

All of the correct tiles are directly above one another.  Once all of them are depressed, you hear a mechanism click inside the wall, something shifts at the top of the wall.  Not clearly visible, but the depressed tiles form a perfect ladder up to the trap door in the ceiling.

5. 

An inscription reads “The key to this door cannot be seen, though all can feel it.  It cannot be held, although all have it except for the dead. From your mouth produce the answer.”

The answer is “breath” or “wind”.  Blow into the hole (a little narrower than your finger) to open the door.

(Eh, this is a fiddly puzzle–put something non-essential behind it.)

6.

This is one of the rooms hidden behind the rotating statue puzzle.  To open the secret door, you need to actually close the entrance door to this room by splitting the party, having half of the party rotate the statue out of alignment.  This reveals the switch on the backside of the door that you opened to enter this room.

Once the secret door is opened, it stays opened, and the party can rejoin and go through the secret passage.

The secret passage holds some monsters to fight, of course.

7.

Maybe combine this with #2?  

Flooded room with switch underwater.  When flipped, all of the water flushes everyone into the next room and into a pit trap.

8.

A bunch of tiles covered with random objects.

A door has a symbol of an egg.  Press all symbols that hatch from an egg.  (Rooster, Snake, Fish, Frog).  

Another door depicts a knight.  Press all the symbols that are weapons (Shield, sword, bow).  The incorrect answers: Crown, Whale, Shepherd’s Crook, Jug of Water, Cottage.

(Rating 2/5 stars.  Kinda fiddly.  Too escape roomy, not OSR puzzly enough.)

Secret Door, Secret Switch

Secret/secret doors should only be used in non-essential cases.  They make good shortcuts to areas that can be reached in other ways.  This lets skilled players access other areas earlier (like the Inner Sanctum), allows them to go around monsters they don't want to fight, and lets them sneak up behind monsters that they do want to fight.

1. 

One of the giant statues is holding a treasure chest.  Find a giant key, unlock the chest, and you can crawl through it into a new area (or maybe it just contains treasure).

(Might make for a fun, simple AHA! moment when the party finds a giant stone key.)

2.

Fountain pipe comes out of the wall, and water spurts from a fish head.  Examining it reveals that the pipe connected to the fish head is pretty big.  Knock the fish head off and start crawling.

(For exploration completionists.)

3. 

Behind a mirror.  No clues for this one--you just gotta smash it.

(For exploration completionists, and vandals.)

4. 

The bottom of a pit trap.  The floor and 3 walls are covered in spikes.  The fourth wall is hollow.  One of the wall spikes can be rotated to open the door.

(Maybe too easy?  It's tough to tell.  Players walk past this kind of stuff all the time.)

A Dungeon of Your Own

Have you written your own dungeon?

Everyone should write a dungeon at least once.  You'll be able to write stuff that you like, and stuff that your players like.  You can make it as small or as large as you'd like, based on the length of your sessions.  If your group likes puzzles, then you can dump three of them in there.  And by the time you're done, you'll basically have memorize the damn thing.

And you'll learn all the things that work and don't work.  When you run a pre-made dungeon, you come away with a sense that some rooms were more fun than others, but it might not be clear why.  When you run your own dungeon, your head will be full of the all of the alternatives, and it'll be easier to come up with improvements the next time you iterate on it.

Reasons Not to Write Your Own Dungeon:

1. Arnold, I don't have enough time.

        Fair point.  Have a nice day.  

2. Arnold, I can't write a dungeon as good as published modules.

        Absolute hogwash; get the fuck out of here.

There's some good published modules, but there are many, many more mediocre ones.  One of the oddities of this hobby is that you can have a lot of fun with bad dungeons, as long as you're hanging out with your friends and cracking jokes.  As a result, there's not a lot of evolutionary pressure for dungeons to improve.  

Trust me on this one.  The guys writing published dungeons are not lightyears beyond you.  It's not like comparing yourself to a brain surgeon.  It's more like comparing yourself to someone who is good at making sandwiches.

And even the guys who do write dungeons well and playtest them haven't playtested them with your group.  Everyone is different, so make the sandwich that your group likes.

The Missing Chapter

Writing your own dungeon is a pretty big cornerstone of our hobby, especially in the OSR space.  There's so much other stuff written that it's honestly surprising how little ink has been spent describing how dungeons are made.

I'm not sure if these is because dungeoncraft is a field that is still in its infancy, or because there is no wrong way to do it.  (I'm leaning towards the first one, though.  I certainly notice bad level design in video games, but that's because I've played hundreds of video games and its easy to compare them.  In contrast, I've probably only run a few dozen TTRPG dungeons over my whole life, and there are so many other things distracting me at the table that I don't think I've spent as much time thinking about the topic.)

A few DM's guides have chapters on creating your own dungeon.  A lot of them don't.

A bunch of them have sections on how to stock your own random dungeon, with random rooms and random monsters with random treasure, which I think is absolutely insane.  Imagine if you went to video game school to learn to design good levels for an FPS game, and your teacher was told you to roll dice to determine how big each room was, which weapons there were, and how many enemies there were.  (I am not a fan of procedurally generated dungeons.  You can do better than random.)

I am damn certain that the level designers in Halo didn't roll dice.  They had a system.

The System

I suspect that there are lots of ways to do this, but everyone starts with a concept, like "tomb" or "buried spaceship".  Certainly better is to have a couple of concepts, like "poisonous tomb" or "musical prison".  

It's frequently good to frame things in terms of what they were, and what they are now.  (Dungeons are almost universally old places.  It's how we justify their ruin, isolation, complexity, and contents.)  Examples would be "tomb that is now a hideout for bandits" or "magical library taken over by goblins".

It's also good to have some friction between your themes.  Don't just pick things that align neatly.  "tomb taken over by a necromancer" is a little thin--it's doesn't inspire anything, although it's a perfectly useable concept by itself.  "tomb taken over by necro-artists" is a bit more interesting, since I can already think of a couple rooms.  How about "zoo taken over my a necromancer"?  Also fun.

"temple to a benevolent god of rot"?   Or maybe "underwater prison for a god of fire"?  A little bit of contradiction can generate a lot of creativity later on.

Prior Works

Once you have your concept, you can move onto the dungeon itself.  I found a few good blog posts on this subject.

Chris wrote a really good one, which includes advice on how to include teaching encounters.

Dyson recapitulates the five room dungeon, which is a perfectly serviceable way to make a small dungeon quickly while ensuring that you have some good variety in it.

Gus has an excellent one where he talks about dungeon naturalism, and gives good advice for writing room descriptions.

Lastly, I have the dungeon checklist, which is just a list of things that I think all dungeons should include (except for maybe the smallest, most specialized dungeons).

Other Considerations

It's also useful to think about a few other questions when you are beginning.

1. How big do you want this dungeon to be?

Or to put another way, how many sessions do you expect your group to spend in this place?  Some groups do 2 rooms an hour, others can do 6 rooms an hour.  (You should already have an idea of how fast your group moves in your game.)

I also know that when I write dungeons, they usually bloat by about +20% or +50% from my original sketch as I think of new things to add, usually after running it once or twice.

2. Is this a dungeon with a singular goal (usually a boss the party needs to beat) or is it something that can just be explored partially and then happily abandoned?

3. What do you want the split to look like between combat, puzzles, exploration, and role-playing?

4. Do you want it to be naturalistic (i.e. it's a dungeon in a monastery and it has a floorplan that looks like an IRL monastery) or gamified?

Next Steps

Some people start with maps, other people start with key rooms.  A few people start with factions and random encounter tables.

Starting with maps is very common, and is probably what I've seen the most.  

I do think that dungeon creation is iterative for most people.  The first map you draw probably won't be the final one.  You'll constantly correct and improve, especially after playing through it the first time.  The same can be said for your encounters, NPCs, and magic items.

Beneath the Mouth of Mormo

I'm currently writing the sequel to the Mouth of Mormo dungeon that I posted a couple of days ago.

I want something much bigger, complicated, and challenging.  If Mouth of Mormo is a beginner's dungeon, I want something for experienced groups.

Anyway, I'm going to try to develop it on the blog.  Maybe it'll be useful for some people.  I do think that what I'm doing here is definitely overengineering--you can make a successful dungeon with a lot less work.  I just want to try doing something ambitious.

Concepts

1. Temple to the second goddess in the pantheon.  Mormo's sister.  Mormo is the semi-benevolent goddess of mutation (the sea-change).  Sister is something analogous (except perhaps mind instead of body) or prophecy.

2. Continues the theme of the Mouth of Mormo.  A fallen holy place destroyed long ago by starfish and merpeople.

Map

1 - Flooded rooms, half-sunken statues, and locked doors.  Seems abandoned at first.  Connects to Room 20 in the Mouth of Mormo.  Puzzle required to open doors (put matching hat on statue).

2 - Flooded halls.  You need a boat to navigate.  Some large monster threatens this hub area, but is too large/enchanted to leave.  Eel swarms in water.  You'll need to find a boat to navigate, or find a rowboat in nearby area.

3 - The Reef Beneath.  Navigate around a huge reef.  Morays, crabs, fish-things.  Sleeping monster (don't wake it up).  Giant archerfish spit water to knock you off bridge.

4 - Crypt.  Skeletons seated in chairs, beginning their slow transmutation into a living reef.  Body horror.  History of goddess.  This is where the elevator comes down.

5 - Sea Cave with island in it.  Hard to Reach.  Boss area?  Temple of minor god.  Wizard is here, an ally of the guys who destroyed the dungeon, wants to hire you to kill/loot the place.

6 - Inner sanctum of the Goddess.  Starts out locked.  Boss area?  The woman of sand sits here writing.  She’s writing the whole history of the world on sand.  When she finishes a section, she rakes it flat and starts again.  Wants you to kill the wizard.  Sand = mirror = prophecy = illusion.

Each room has 5-20 rooms, except for Area 2 which is a smaller hub area.

Gimmick

Tides.  Room water level rises and falls.  Combat is worse when the water is higher

History

Was a temple and a monastery.  We need an inner sanctum, monastery bits, some public areas of the monastery, and a crypt.

Factions

Lady of Sand - Cursed remnant of old temple, still loyal.

Wizard in Sea Cave - Wants to finish destruction/looting.

Sentient Undead - Wants you to leave them the fuck alone.

Goblins - Wildcard.

Random Encounters

Drowners.  Ghouls.  1 Elder Ghoul.  1 Necrophidius (forces focus).  More Cloakers.  Giant Fish.  Dungeon Moray.  Dungeon Clam (contains pearl).  Two Giant Starfish.  Flying Worms.

Treasure

I'll do treasure last.  (I'm not lazy!  I just think you can do treasure last, since nothing depends on it.)

Revised Map

Okay, after a little revision I have something like this:

HALLS is area #2.  It's the hub area that has a guardian that cannot leave the area.  Somewhere in this dungeon, there's probably some weapon or tactic that lets you kill it more easily.  I'm thinking a giant water weird that is powered by a skull.  Turns into a couple of different animalistic forms.  If you manage to pull the skull out (trick it into running through a net) you can smash the skull with a warhammer for an easy KO.

BAD HALL is between a pair of closed portcullises.  You can easily open it to get a useful new path, but the bad hall is crammed with a shitload of horrible undead, so maybe you don't want to do this.

Room 2A has a rotating statue puzzle.  Whatever door the statue points at will unlock.  The rotating statue can rotate to unlock 2B and 2C.  However, there's also similar locked doors that lead to 2F and 1D and clever players will realize that the statue's range is unlimited, and that's how you unlock those doors.   Can also use it unlock a treasure vault door on the sea cave island.

The Mouth of Mormo

 I wrote a dungeon.  It's about 25 rooms.

It still needs work, but I'm getting bored of it and I need to post it now or else it'll join the scrapheap of all of my unfinished projects.

 

BEHOLD!

Here's the regular version: HERE.

And here's a jumbo version HERE.

The jumbo version has a bunch of essays and rants, mostly directed to new OSR DMs but also just anything I might have thought was useful at 2 am when I was writing them.

Blue Sky Temple, Revised

Last week, we made a crowdsourced dungeon on Bluesky.  

It was fun and it yielded a cool dungeon with a lot of good ideas mashed together.

This week, I decided that I was actually going to run it.  So, I started editing it to make it more cohesive and less chaotic.  What should have been a light edit ended up being a heavier edit than I intended.

It's been paved flat.  It's more useable, but has less of the charm of being a community project.  Still, if you were one of the original contributors, maybe it's still cool to see your idea in this format, too.  

I drew this fire crystal mummy in Room 22.
He is supposed to be standing on the lip of his geode sarcophagus.

Other new stuff: 

• More magic items.
• More secret rooms.
• Rules for becoming a fire sorcerer.

It's also 2x as long.

PDF

-or-

Google Doc

If you end up running it, let me know how it goes!  Probably most suitable for a part of levels 2-4.

Crowdsourced Dungeon: Blue Sky Temple

I joined Bluesky last month and decided to pretend that it's actually G+ and the year is 2015.  

This means that I'll be trying to have conversations, but it especially means crowdsourced content.  I asked people to help me write a dungeon and 20+ people obliged, which is honestly incredible.

Anyway, here's the dungeon.  I redid all the numbering, added random encounters, backstory, and a simple statue puzzle.  I also switched a couple of entries when it made sense (putting the geyser next to the water crystal, etc) but other than that, the rooms are all written by sweet internet people.  This dungeon belongs to the world.

HERE  

Note: not a paid Patreon post.  I barely did any of the work.

d6 More Dungeon Merchants

 I reread some old blogposts today.  Holy shit, remember the horses I did with Chris McDowall?  Those were great.

The d6 Dungeon Merchants post was also a good one.  I think it deserves a sequel.

Players can always choose to attempt to kill the merchant and take all of his stuff.  To make this fair, though, you really should make the merchant scary enough to threaten your party.

You can plop a dungeon merchant on your wandering monster table, or you can put them in a fixed location.

7 - The Bloom Pattern

You are resting in the dungeon.  Sitting on a rock, eating your lunch.  Across the room, you spot an odd little mound of dirt.  Was it there before?  As you watch, it grows, an inch and then another.  Suddenly, it leans back and . . . stands up?  

It is a skeletal thing, like a fetus without arms or legs.  Gelatinous tissues cling to it, and flowers begin to bloom between the bones.  It continues growing and stretching until its head is level with your own.

“Greetings” a voice speaks, directly inside your mind.  “Do you require healing?”

The Bloom Pattern is a nature spirit, scion of one of the lesser tree gods, all completely unknown to your race.  It isn’t important.  The Bloom Pattern is currently a servant of The Good God of Rot, as part of a hostage exchange.  The thing in front of you is merely an extension of the larger conceptual entity that is the Bloom Pattern.  It has only recently been cursed with the delusion of singularity.  (It doesn’t expect you to understand this.  All humans suffer from the same delusion–that they are only a singular person.)

If questioned, the Bloom Pattern will patiently explain that rot is actually a good thing.  You really don’t want to live in a world where living things never rot.  Rot Spirits and Tree Spirits normally get along great, since Rot Spirits can’t do anything to a healthy tree except help it.

In its fully grown form, it’s a wooden skeleton with no limbs, curling out of the ground, with a weird skull that tapers down to a mouthless point, a bit like a trunk.  Flowers grow on top of this, of all shapes and colors.  It smells pleasant.

Selling:

The Bloom Pattern is a healer.  Stand before it and be inspected, and it will tell you its price.  It can restore HP at a rate of 10s per hit point.  Money must be buried at its feet.

However, the real value of the Bloom Pattern is that it is willing to buy magical scrolls and potions for a good price.  If the scrolls and potions would be valuable for alchemical, agricultural, or botanical pursuits, the Bloom Pattern will pay an even higher price.

If the party is respectful and asks questions, it will tell you where to find the God of Good Rot.  The Good God has a need for more mobile servants, and it is willing to pay.

When it "departs", it merely dies.  The flowers fall off.  The jelly dries up and rots, leaving black sludge stains on the floor.  All that is left is the wooden skeleton watching over an empty room, curling like a shepherd’s crozier.

How the Bloom Pattern sprouts.

Images from Blame! by Tsutomo Nihei

8 - Mister Bucket

A gigantic ghoul pushing a wheelbarrow.  (He's a ghast--even more monstrous than he looks.)  Mister bucket is nearly 9’ tall, and has the arms proportions of an orangutan.  He buys and sells corpses.  While his usual customers are ghouls, he knows a customer when he sees one.  Most of his body is hidden beneath a huge black cape.

He will greet you (rudely), invite you to come closer (also rude), take a sniff of the wares he has for sale in his wheelbarrow (terrible idea).  If the party seems wary of approaching the huge ghoul (good idea), he’ll reassure them that he’s in a pretty good mood right now, because he hasn’t missed a meal in weeks.  He’ll pull a leg out of the wheelbarrow and snack on it while leaning on the wall and wiggling his eyebrows.  (This is what he does to appear non-threatening.)

He’s also a devout Hesayan, and will pull a little copy of the Vulgate out of his belt pocket and swear on it: 

“I’ll never hurt an honest customer, what don’t hurt me or cheat me.  Promise on the Prophetessa, may she live again.”

His copy of the Vulgate is indeed well-thumbed and worn.  Mister Bucket is telling the truth.

Buying

• Meat!  10s for a dog, 100s for a cow.  20s for a peasant, 50s for a wizard.  It all depends on how interesting the person was, as Mr. Bucket gets to experience fragments of the devoured person’s memories.

Will pay extra for weird meat and magical meat.  Mister Bucket is weirdly susceptible to salesmanship.  If the players talk up a corpse, he may pay 2x or 3x his usual price.  However, if they lie to him (“cheat him”) he may demand his money back, or choose violence.

Selling (most or all of these things--he's pretty well stocked)

• Cursed Periapt of Enervation (200s): Gives you -4 to Con checks against poison, disease, and death.  200s.
• Cursed Ring of Death (800s): Makes you dead while you wear it. Dangerous to wear more than a 1d6 hours (you take 1 Con damage every hour after that, as the rot sets in).
• Cursed Bracelet of Immunity (700s) - You are immune to the effects of a disease.  However, any disease you suffer from will be spread to others at a terrific rate..
• These Cute Little Dwarf Skulls (100s) - Can be spent to declare if a room has anything hidden in it.  Basically duplicates 10 minutes of searching into a single action.  50% chance of depleting after each use, as the weary ghost in the skull finally departs with a grown.
• Stench Bone (100s) - Break it in half to make a horrible stench, will drive people and animals away (as antipathy, but only on things with noses).
• “Dragon Teeth” (300s each) - Look like fractal fish hooks of enamel, too fragile to be actual teeth.  Throw them on the ground, they turn into skeletons who will attack you.  If the skeletons can’t see you, they’ll attack random people instead.
• Snake Oil (50s) - Makes you smell like a snake.

9 - Doomslave Senthrax

A gigantic muscular man in spiked armor and a magnificent red cape.  Absolutely massive calves–one of the first things anyone notices about him.  Very evil, very friendly.

He is a doomslave!  A servant of Phasmagore, the demon-goddess of senseless slaughter.  (The more senseless the better.)

He is accompanied by his apprentices, of which there are six.  They all wear different GWAR costumes: spikes, blood, leather straps.  However, compared to Doomslave Senthrax, they are all a bit scrawnier, and their armor looks like costumes–a bit artificial.

When the party encounters Doomslave Senthrax, he’ll stop ask his apprentices:

“Halt!  Look before us!  A lowly gang of crypt robbers!  Should you encircle and slaughter them?”

One his apprentices will venture an affirmative, and then Doomslave Senthrax will smack the back of his head hard enough to knock him down.

“Fool!  Look how well armed they are!  They would kill you!”

Senthrax will then assess the party’s fighting skills, and describe them to the party.

“That one is their protector!  Look how easily they wear their armor!  Notice the scuffs on their shield!  And that one over there is a magic thrower!  See the soot-marks on their fingers?  A fireball may be within their quiver.  That one is a sneak-thief!  See the thicknesses in their forearms where they carry extra daggers?  And that scent is wurm-venom, which may be on those very daggers. . . .”

Senthrax’s assessments are very accurate.  He has been doing this for a long time.

After Senthrax is done lecturing his students, he’ll come forward and offer a fearless handshake.  He’ll offer to share water, and ask for news of the dungeon.  He’ll also ask if anyone fancies a quick duel to the death.  

Buying:

• Duels to the death, against one of his students.  He’ll pay you 100s, or double if you win.  If you accept, he’ll select the student who is most equal to you in level in ability, and then tell that student all of your weaknesses and abilities before the fight starts.

Selling:

Doomslaves!  For a reasonable fee, you can hire one of his students as a mercenary.  However, you only get them for the rest of the day.  The only condition is that you must throw them into mortal combat.  Not certain death!  But something suitably grisly.  Put them on the front line!  Let me know if they show cowardice.  No pulling levers!  No fancy “open this chest that is probably trapped”!  Just make them kill shit, Grox dammit!

If someone asks: “What if we just kill your student and keep the money?” he will just shake his head, smile, and wink.  That’s a bad idea, he’ll tell you.  He won’t elaborate.

- Shirika, L1 Barbarian.  Moose antler helmet and battleaxe.  Stinks of beer.  Always rages.  (200s)

- The Reaper, L1 Assassin.  Just a dumb, depressed teenager.  Bloodthirsty, but will cry if he fails a morale or fear check.  (200s)

- Boxton, L1 Fighter.  Heavy armor.  Huge spiked shield.  Obviously aroused by combat.  Fightly bravely but kinda seems like he wants to die, maybe?  (300s)

- Guldra, L1 Death Eater.  Orc Death Eater.  Fights with a bow.  Eats a part of every creature that he kills. A medicine pouch on his neck carries a bezoar (can be swallowed as anti-venom) and his two mummified testicles.  Can cast speak with dead 1/day.  (400s)

- Dio, L1 Battlemaster.  Can give commands as a standard action, allowing 1 person to make a free attack roll.  Expects to be the leader of your party.  Unfortunately, he is neither a brilliant tactician, nor incompetent enough to be dissuaded.  Smokes tobacco out of a crowskull pipe.  (400s).

- Mellie Scarbelly, L2 Amazon.  Not her real name.  Fights with a boomerang, or a sword and shield.  Can run along walls (+4 to jump checks).  Joined the doomslaves in order to marry Senthrax, but would abandon the cult if someone else was very strong and also agreed to marry her.  400s.

Doomslave Senthrax doesn’t actually have any way of knowing that you won’t just kill his student and keep the money.  It’s a bluff.  His goal is just to put his students into risky situations and see which ones thrive.  He’s also a maniac in combat, being able to make 4x attacks per round.

10 - Fina Fesculina

A tall, broad shouldered woman with long red hair.  She wears a leather dress with loose buttons the entire length of the front.  Muscular shoulders, wide hips, large breasts, pot belly, but still lanky with her height.  Carries a staff with a circle on the top–kinda like a dream-catcher with a hand woven into the middle of it.

Fina Fesculina is the granddaughter of Oshregaal, a powerful biomancer and famous gourmand.  She’s here looking for her brother, Tavis.

“If you see him, just come and tell me or Peepah, okay?  Don’t even talk to him–he’s a real mean boy.  Don’t even let him see you.  His name is Trevis–but I mean that!  You watch out for him, okay.”

Fina Fesculina is also very evil and very friendly.  If asked, she’ll happily tell you that she’s a biomancer.  Everyone in her family is.  She’ll ask if you have any food to spare–she already ate all of hers.

Buying: 

• Food, and paying double.  
• She’ll pay 3x for any rare foods or spices.  She knows that Peepah loves them.

Selling

- Mutations. “I’ll do my best, but no guarantees!”  Roll 2x on the d100 mutations table and pick the best one.  Permanent.  200s.

- Temporary HP.  She’ll slit her wrist, and red blood drips out.  “Wait, shoot.  Not that one.”  The bloodflow immediately stops.  She slits her wrist at a different angle, and a little deeper.  A different type of blood flows out.  This stuff she cooks over a low flame while adding drops of moonshine, until it clarifies and thickens. Takes 10 minutes.  If eaten with your lunch, you heal to full and gain 1d4+2 temporary hit points on top of that.  200s.

- Bird Dagger.  She reaches waaaay down her throat and pulls out this bone-handled dagger.  When thrown, it sprouts boney wings, and gets +4 to hit a target who is already bleeding, and +4 to hit a target that it has previously damaged (these bonuses stack).

She likes the party, or if the party offends her, she’ll tell them that they should visit her Peepah, and give them directions to his mansion, only a little further underground.  (Grandfather Oshregaal will attempts to eat all of his guests, which is perfect for people that offend her.  If she likes you, she invites you back to the mansion because she assumes that she'll be there to stop her grandfather from eating you.)

If the party eats lunch with her, she’ll open her dress and her boyfriend will come out of her abdominal cavity, where he has been sleeping.  His name is Shiloh, they’ve been dating for 18 months now.  They met at a painting class.  His legs and most of his organs have been removed, and he’s been fused to her bloodstream.  It’s a little uncomfortable opening her rib cage like this, but honestly it’s the best way to travel.  So many people treat you differently when you’re with your boyfriend.  They’re saving up for the wedding.

Shiloh doesn’t talk much.  He might ask people if they’re dating anyone.  He’ll eat a few bites, give Fina a kiss and an “I love you, little rabbit”, and then disappear back inside Fina for a nap.

11 - Doppler and His Friendly Family

A filthy family of five lurches out of the doorway.  They’re covered in dirt and their clothes are torn.  They seem to have trouble focusing on anything, and their eyes keep jumping from object object.  They speak haltingly, and sometimes perform large contortions of the mouth, moving their tongues and lips in all directions.

This is the Doppler family.  If you ask them what’s wrong, they’ll tell you that they’re doing fine!  Would you like to buy some food?

If you persist in asking them what’s wrong, they’ll tell you that they recently got some brainworms, but they’re doing a lot better now.  They still have brainworms, but they got better.  They’re in the dungeon because their neighbors found out, and then chased them off.

They are going to travel far from this place, and need supplies.

Buying (paying 2x for all items):

• Rope 
• Clothing 
• Medicine
• Cooking Pots
• Bedrolls
• Soap

Selling:

• A brain worm, guaranteed to make you smarter.  (10s)
• Sack of turnips (5s)
• A nice candlestick, looks like it might be real brass (10s)
• A brain worm, you sure you don’t want one? (5s)

They’re unhappy since their friends and neighbors tried to kill them.  Who knew that people would get so upset about a little worm no bigger than your finger?

“Well, take care out there.  We’ll pray for you.  I hope you’ll do the same for us.”

12 - Luroclane, Son of Luroc

That door definitely wasn’t there last time you were in this room.  A sign above the door shows books, bottles, and jewelry.  Beside the door is a bell and a sign that reads “RING FOR BUSINESS”.

There is a dungeon that travels the Underworld, a cluster of rooms that swims through the earth like a school of bubbles.  The rooms are all stolen: some from castles, some from crypts, some from fantastic libraries.

This collection of rooms is filled with the soul of the architect Luroc, who is very well known.  However, less known is Luroc’s son, Luroclane.

Luroclane fancies himself a merchant.  He is travelling around with his girlfriend, Lyrina.  She is accompanied by Pumpkin, a big stupid orange tomcat wearing a little green vest.  Lyrina can only speak directly to Luroclane in her dreams, but she can get a general feel for his mood based on the temperature, how well the doors align between rooms, and how crisp the upper corners are in each room.

Smaller than his parent, Luroclane is only composed of 3 rooms.

The front room is a fairly ordinary-seeming shop.  Shelving, lantern, cat, and a comfortable chaise lounge.  One wall has a huge painting of a seascape.  (This was Lyrina’s idea.  It can get a little claustrophobic in this place.)  In the corner is a suit of armor.

Lyrina will give you the elevator pitch about this place and ask if you’d like to buy anything.

Buying:

• Food (will pay 2x)
• Delicious Food (will pay 3x)
• Song (will pay 10s to a decent bard, 20s for an excellent one)
• Some new dresses (will pay 2x)

Luroclane mostly sells things that Luroc is tired of hauling around, but he also does a small side business in magic items.  (I don’t allow my players to buy magic items, but this is an exception.)

Selling:

• 1d2 random potions, identified (300s each)
• 1d2 random scrolls, identified (300s each)
• A painting that Lyrica did of Pum-pum sleeping atop a dragon’s foot.  (60s)
• A lost painting by Marafugio, a master.  Worth 1500s but very fragile.  (1000s)
• A bust of the third emperor.  Would look great in your apartment.  Worth 500s but heavy.  (200s)
• Stone hands, broken from a larger statue.  If held up to a harp, they will play it masterfully, tugging your arms along as you support the hands.  Worth 500s.  (300s)

They're also traveling to 

If you buy a lot of stuff, Lyrina will identify you as a big spender.  She’ll ask you if you want to meet up again, in order for you to buy more things.  She’ll pick a location in this dungeon and a date 1d6 days away–as long as you agree to come back with more money.

The second room is a storage room.  It contains: 

• Shelves:1d6+3 additional scrolls that Lyrina hasn’t been able to identify.
• An ornate sarcophagus containing the mummy Eshtefar, who is attempting to hitch a ride back to his temple in Abasinia.  Gold headpiece worth 1250s.
• 8 fragmentary statues from the Abominable Island, each worth 100s.
• A small box with a ramp and doorway.  This is a litterbox.

The third room is Lyrina’s bedroom. It contains 

• a huge circular bed
• a book collection (40 books worth 600s in total)
• a desk covered with painting supplies and a half-finished painting of the Bastion of Medurak (an anteincendial dam). 
• Ceiling: constellations of gemstones–actually just glass worth about 50s in total.  
• Walls:
• 5 of Lyrina’s paintings, worth an average of 30s each.  
• 5 lost paintings of ancient masters, and are worth an average of 600s.

Thievery is possible, since Luroclane is effectively blind.  Lyrina is a level 3 wizard who knows sleep, charm, and invisibility, but she has no other special abilities.  Her spellbook is Pumpkin, who is actually a catbook.

If combat breaks out, the suit of armor in the corner animates (stats as ogre in plate), Lyrina flees back to her bedroom, and Luroclane turns the doors into brick walls.  Decent chance the mummy Eshtefar wakes up in response to noise–she won’t be happy either.

You might think that Pumpkin is a transformed dragon or something because he is wearing a little vest, but no.  He is actually much dumber than an average cat.

Tower in the Wasteland v2

I recently asked my patrons what posts deserved a sequel and Tower in the Wasteland was one of the first replies.  So here's an updated version of that dungeon.  It's 12 pages now, so roughly twice the size it was before.

Patrons: thanks for all of your support.  I hope to fulfill more of your suggestions in the coming weeks.

--->>>TOWER IN THE WASTELAND V2<<<---

I'm still trying to choose productivity over polish.  (I promise you that these will be the ugliest maps you've ever seen.)

UPDATE: Here's a robo-summary!

This file appears to be a Dungeons and Dragons module titled "Tower in the Wasteland" by Arnold K. The module details a location called the Tower, a seemingly impossible-to-enter metal structure jutting out of an ice field. The module guides the Dungeon Master through the Tower's various levels, encounters, and inhabitants.

• Levels: The Tower's interior is described as a vertical shaft with a nest, an artillery room, hallways, a bridge, an armory, a mess hall, a kitchen, a cavern, and galleries. Each area has unique challenges and potential treasures.

• Encounters: The module details encounters with a Peryton (a winged creature with a human shadow), an Abichor Ghoul (a bloated, flying corpse), the daemon Pestilence, a Killing Machine, and a Crippled Angel. Each encounter presents different combat challenges and moral dilemmas.

• Special Features: The module includes rules for "Dead Soldiers" and their ranks (Captain, Sargent, Lieutenant, General), providing stats and abilities for these undead enemies. It also introduces unique elements like abichor (a spiritual toxin), a Final Weapon, and magical items like metal rings that suppress flight.

• Themes: The module explores themes of death, war, and the consequences of conflict. The presence of undead soldiers, the daemon Pestilence, and the Killing Machine create a sense of despair and horror.

Overall, "Tower in the Wasteland" offers a challenging and thought-provoking dungeon-crawling experience with a focus on dark fantasy elements and moral choices.

Dungeon: Castle of the Gribblies

 I've been reading some of Jennell Jaquays' old stuff, like Night of the Walking Wet.  

It's very good, but it's also horribly formatted, as if layout was performed with scissors and glue.  (Because it was.  It was written for a zine in the 70's.)  

It's actually very inspiring, because I too often avoid posting adventures that are kinda choppy or ugly.  I've probably written about 3 that have never seen the light of day.  So thanks, Jennell, for multiple reasons.

Anyway, I wrote a dungeon and now I'm going to post it without any playtesting and only minimal editing.  Hope you like it!

>>> CASTLE OF THE GRIBBLIES <<<

I also updated the hexcrawling rules from last time.  It's mostly just re-organizing, although I did add a 3 new hexes for the Gribblywood.

>>> HEXCRAWLING v3 <<<

If I ever do a hexcrawl, I'll probably want it to be 48 hexes at least.  By that metric, I'm already 15% done.

How to Handle Parley as an OSR DM

One of the most unforgiveable things that mainstream D&D has ever done was to make Diplomacy a skill.

Weapon skills and knowledge skills, sure.  We can't model sword fights around the kitchen table unless we bust out the boffers, but talking to monsters?  All you need are words.  

Talking is just about the only thing that we can model perfectly, where the player and the player character are actually doing the same thing at the same time.  And I'm especially interested in parley, which is when you encounter something that would normally be a combat encounter, but you end up talking to it instead.

It's also a very rewarding part of gameplay.  Brokering a hostage exchange.  Proving yourself to a band of orcs.  Lying to a dragon in order to sneak around his hoard.  It would be very anticlimactic to reduce Bilbo's interaction with Smaug to a couple of deception rolls, wouldn't it?

History of Reaction Rolls

Modern D&D doesn't usually bother with reaction rolls.  They leverage the social rolls (Persuasion, Intimidation, Deception, Insight) instead.  The modules that I've read are pretty scripted.  Either an encounter is a fight or it isn't, and if there's any ambiguity, it's settled with one of those 4 rolls.  Which is honestly fine, since 5e is more comfortable being a miniatures wargame than anything else.

But reaction rolls have a long history in D&D, dating back to the very first edition of D&D back in '74 (this is Original D&D, not 1st edition).  

Here's Holmes version from Basic D&D in '77.

from Holmes
Notice that this seems to be something that is rolled as a reaction to an offer made by the players ("make another offer") rather than something that is rolled as soon as the monsters catch sight of you.  Perhaps the default assumption was that intelligent monsters would usually talk first, then only attack if they had good reason to (or no reason not to).

So yes, the players would sometimes randomly encounter huge groups of orcs, but they wouldn't always be hostile.  There would frequently be a lot of talking first.

Modern D&D is sort of rediscovering all this old stuff.  But before we use it, it's good to understand why we want in our games in the first place?

Why Parley?

Most OSR games have reaction rolls.  Not every band of orcs is immediately hostile

1. It let's the players see more of the world.

The game is a lot more interesting when you're not trying to kill everything all the time.  As a DM, you're constantly creating interesting cultures, factions, and sidestories--all of which becomes pointless if the orcs attack as soon as they see the PCs.

2. It lets you throw more dangerous enemies at the players.  

A level 1 party might be able to handle a level 4 ogre who suddenly attacks BUT the same level 1 party might also be able to handle a level 8 giant who is easily tricked.

This is how a lot of older games were able to get away putting "10-100 bandits" on the map.  The party can lie to them, get them to go into a cave, and then collapse the cave.  Or the party could avoid combat all together.

You can throw anything in the Monster Manual against level 1 parties if you remove the "attacks the party immediately" assumption from it.  A bunch of level 1s can walk into a dragon's hoard, talk to it, and then leave when it threatens to eat them.  (If they want to keep fucking with the dragon--that's on them.  My point is that making an encounter less immediately hostile gives you a lot more flexibility in the types of threats you can throw at players.

3. It opens up a lot more tactical options. 

What's more interesting?  A game with exciting combat?  Or a game with exciting combat AND tense negotiations?

When you can defeat a dragon with clever words or powerful weapons, you now have more strategies that the players can employ.  Their toolbox is bigger, and so is the game.

So What's the Downside?

Good parley is hard.  It relies a lot of DM skill.  Honestly, I'm not that great at it myself.  Others do it better.

Parley (and high-stakes negotiation in general) has slowly been phased out of D&D because (1) it is hard to reduce it to a procedure (something with points and DCs) and (2) when a DM is bad at it, it makes the game feel arbitrary and unfair.

Modern D&D has worked hard to make the game feel less arbitrary.  You'll hear players complaining about "DM fiat"--this is what they're talking about.

At it's worst, it can sound like:

"A bunch of orcs showed up, said that they would help us kill a worm, and then ganked us from behind when the purple worm showed up."

or

"The dragon just demanded treasure, and when we didn't have any, it breathed fire on us."

or

"Nothing we said to the guards worked.  We tried bribing them, threatening them.  But they DM said that they were too disciplined for that.  So we wasted half an hour talking to them, then ending up fighting them anyway."

How to Handle Parley Well

Running reaction rolls is challenging for a new DM, but it is something that you get better with at practice.  And it's a skill worth honing, for all the reasons above.

First, parley isn't any different from other OSR concepts.

1. Dangers Need to be Telegraphed

If someone is a shifty scumbag will betray you--that needs to be telegraphed.  The greater an NPCs ability to fuck you over, the clearer their nature needs to be.  

This is partially why Elden Ring can get away with being so difficult.  There's a huge honking dragon in front of you and you know it's going to wreck your shit.  But the game doesn't make you fight the dragon--you could just walk away.  So when your screen goes red, it's because you read the Terms and Conditions and then hit Accept.

Your players might not care much if Suzy the Pickpocket steals 3 silver coins without warning, but they tend to care a lot if their loyal friend Honorable Dalgar suddenly stabs them in the back.  (This is why so many DM-orchestrated betrayals fall flat.)

2. Follow Good OSR Problem Design

Reposting from here:

• No obvious solution.  (Rolling Persuasion/Intimidation/Deception is always obvious.)
• Many possible solutions.
• Solvable via common sense (as opposed to system mastery, or a high stat).

3. Monsters Need to be Understandable

There's a reason why old-school dungeons sometimes spend half a page explaining exactly how a trap functions.  It's because players pried up the floor tiles and jammed metal rods in the mechanism, and the DM needs to be able to adjudicate if that works or not.

Same thing applies to the monsters and NPCs that the players encounter.

If the goblins are greedy, the players need to know that.  If the Queen of Flowers always keeps her word, same thing.

These things help the players come up with strategies.  Their brains are the mechanisms, but if they don't understand them, the players don't know where to jam the metal bar.  I urge you to give your players a high-information game.  There's nothing stopping you from saying "you've heard many tales of how honorable the Queen of Flowers is" if you can't think of a better way to impart the info.  

I know it might seem tempting to have honorable characters suddenly betray the party, or to have characters with mysterious motivations.  Those things work fine in books and in scripted adventure paths--they don't work well in negotiations where players expect to have some agency.

And let me be clear: monsters don't have to have human psychology.  (In fact, I think it's more fun when they don't.)  They might want things that a human never would, and ignore things that a human never would.  They should be alien, but not incomprehensible.  

Do I Have to do Funny Voices?

No, you don't have to do funny voices.  Neither do your players.

Everyone needs to be clear about what they're communicating though.  

If your player says "I'm going to threaten the orc chieftain" then you need to prompt them with "what is your threat, exactly?"  These details are how the negotiation proceeds.

Similarly, you don't need to be good at Persuasion in real life to roleplay a character who is good at persuading.  You just need to be able to approach negotiations like any other puzzle.

from Dai Dark by Q Hayashida

The Basics

Everyone you run into in a dungeon is going to want something.  As as DM, you should have an idea of what this is when you start the roleplay.

Even with a neutral or positive reaction roll, the NPCs are still going to ask who you are and what you're doing there.  Likewise, the NPCs/monsters need to have an answer to those questions, too.

Beyond that, you should have an idea of what the NPC/monster wants.  This is what drives the conversation.  For a lot of normally-hostile NPCs, there's also a third question: why shouldn't we kill you?

Unless the enemies are fighting in defense of their families or homes, there's little motivation to fight to the death.  Even a random gang of orcs in a dungeon is more likely interested in looting than they are in risking their lives trying to kill the players, unless the players look weak, or if they have something the orcs want.

But also remember that monstrous denizens have monstrous desires.  They may only accept a promise rom the party if the party accepts a disease from them, or if the two groups exchange a slave.  (Nevermind that the PCs don't have a slave.)  These desires unreasonable, but they are still actionable.  Perhaps they would accept the donkey as a slave?  

The demands of the monsters should be challenging to meet.  This negotiation is a replacement for combat (sort of).  A challenging combat should be replaced with a challenging demand.  One shouldn't be easier than the other, because we don't want any easy decisions in an OSR-style challenge.  The drow are impressed by your wizard's magic and will let you pass, provided you seal the deal by exchanging slaves--or would the players rather kill these weirdos?

What Do Monsters/NPCs Want?

I recommend picking the thing from this list that makes the most sense, and then roll for another one randomly.

1. Information (usually about the dungeon itself, such as maps)
2. Treasure (gold!  but alternatively: magic items, weapons, or slaves)
3. Food (we're hungry)
4. You to leave (now)
5. You to come (meet our leader)
6. Violence (we can't kill this thing alone)
7. Entertainment (a duel or a game of skill--we're bored and want to wager something)
8. Help (with something in a dungeon: e.g. open this weird door for us)
9. Honor (defeat me in a duel)
10. Shame (lick our boots)

A surprising amount of players would rather fight to the death than have their imaginary elf lick a imaginary goblin's imaginary boots.

And of course, remember that people ask for more when they think they're negotiating from a position of strength.  If the orcs outnumber you 10 to 1, they're a lot more likely to demand your total surrender than when it's 2 to 1.

And remember to keep the pressure on the players.  If they take too long to speak up, the NPCs should become impatient.  Are you wasting our time?  Are you stalling while your reinforcements creep up on us?  (Also remember to roll for random encounters if the negotiation drags on too long.  A wandering monster is always a fun complication.)

Lastly, remember that the players can demand all of those things from the NPCs as well.  Draw us a map, orcs!  There's gold in it for you if you can.

Handling a Stalemate

What to do if neither side seems willing to budge?  Does it then turn immediately to combat?

• Yes, "the orcs become impatient and attack" is always an option.  It shouldn't be your first resort, though, since this ends the negotiation.

• You can give the players a small victory now and up the stakes later.  The orcs can retreat, after vowing that they'll come back and kill everyone.  (And indeed they might come back with reinforcements if the players linger here.)

• The two parties can agree to leave each other alone.  Feel free to propose a hostage exchange at this point.  "If we ambush you, you can kill Grok.  If you ambush us, we'll kill your linkboy.  Meet us at the tree outside at sundown and we'll exchange back."

• Alternatively, switch demands, with either higher or lower stakes.  "Naw, we were just kidding!  You should have seen the look on your face!  You can keep your torch boy.  But come on--don't just waste our time.  Let's play a game.  A friendly wager."

Information and Faction Mastery

Dungeon Mastery is when players spend a few sessions in a dungeon and learn how to use the traps to their advantages, how to use shortcuts to ambush enemies, where to hide safely so there's no random encounters, etc.  If you learn how to operate the portcullis, you can lure the giant snake over and pin it to the floor.  A well-designed dungeon allows players to "tame" it, at least partially.

Similarly, exposure and experience should allow a 

• If you know their objectives, you can lie to them better.
• If you know some of their names, you can leverage that for intimidation or deception.  ("We killed Gundarr.  He was a lot bigger than you.")
• If you know who their boss is, that information can also be turned into intimidation or deception.  ("Big Chokka sent us.  We're supposed to guard the hidden door.  Can you show us where it is?")
  
• If you took prisoners, they are now hostages that can be ransomed back.
• If you know their costumes and disguises, you can impersonate them.
• If you learn what they are afraid of, you can threaten them with it.
• If you learn more about the dungeon, you can also craft better lies (or truths, if needed).  For example: "You saw the dead worm downstairs?  We were the ones who killed it."

Experience is my preferred way for the players to "get good" at negotiation.  It's a satisfying way to win an encounter without drawing your sword, and it rewards clever, attentive players.

When in Doubt

Roll dice.

There's no hard mechanics for this.  (And you shouldn't attempt to make one.  Negotiation is too complicated for dice and too easily modeled with real conversation.)

Your best friend is a d6.  I recommend stating the odds out loud to your players, then rolling the die in plain sight.

"The chieftain looks you up and down.  He's having a hard time imagining you beating Gundarr in a fair fight.  I'm going to roll a d6.  If it's a 1 or a 2, he believes you.  Before I do, is there anything you want to do to seem more convincing?"

This part is important.  You want player buy-in.  If the orcs attack you on the next round, it shouldn't feel like DM fiat.  It should feel like the results of a decision that the players made.

Perfectly Competent Foes are Boring

Consider sneaking onto the Travis Air Force Base in California.  If the guards catch you, they're going to arrest you--no need for a reaction roll.  There isn't much variation if the guards are trained, loyal, intelligent, equipped, confident, and at full strength.

So, when you run into the cultists guarding the lower levels, consider making them (d6):

1. Untrained and uncertain.  Maybe this is their first time encountering someone else down there.  Maybe they didn't think that anyone else would ever come down here.

2. Unmotivated or disloyal. Maybe they resent this situation.  They don't really want to be guards.  They might disagree with their leader, or they might not care about the larger objective.  They may offer safe passage in exchange for gold ("It's like I never saw you.")  They may be more interested in personal goals: an honorable duel instead of a fight to the death.

3. Stupid, or least making an error.  When they catch sight of the PCs, they look confused and ask "Are you Uxamog the Defiler?  You're one day early."  Deceiving the monsters is always a possibility, but some enemies make it extra-easy.  (You'll still need a plan for when they escort you to their leader, though.)

4. Unequipped.  Maybe this guy stepped away from the rest of the patrol on a bathroom break, or they left their swords somewhere else, not expected anyone here.

5. Unconfident.  Noticeably reluctant to fight.  Perhaps they're cowards, perhaps something has just happened that has shaken their faith.

6. Wounded or Weakened.  They could be dealing with another incident, perhaps even carrying a wounded person back to their barracks.  They could be drunk, or sick with something.  

This d6 table also functions as a list of excuses for "why these guys aren't attacking us right now".  

Adapting to 5e

You sorta can't.  

5e is more focused on character-building synergies and tactical combats.  That's where the fun is in 5th edition.  (5e is not a bad game.  It accomplishes most of what it sets out to do.)

But having said that, 5e has mostly stripped away the mechanics that make parley possible, and it's not well-supported by the published modules.

Having said that, here's my best ideas.

System Support

• Add wandering monster checks
• Add reaction rolls
• Remove Persuasion, Intimidation, and Deception

The third option is pretty unpalatable to most players.  What if I want to be a high-charisma Bard who is good at lying to people?  You could conceivably take a hybrid approach, where you raise the DCs by a good amount (maybe 8 points) and give players a hefty bonus to the social rolls (+4 to +10) based on the strength of your argument.

The bard is still the one doing all the talking, but at least it's less about the numbers on your sheet and more about what is being said.

Also note that you don't need wandering monsters or reaction rolls to introduce parley gameplay.  Honestly, the easiest way to ease yourself (and your players) into this playstyle is to just create scripted encounters that support parley.  Example:

Grog the ogre guards the front gate.  He is bored and doesn't take his job seriously.  He doesn't think anyone is stupid enough to challenge his boss.  However, he will defend the place in earnest (including yelling for reinforcements) if he thinks there is an actual danger to the cult.

And then see how your party does at talking to the ogre.  Replace the ogre with something bigger if needed--you want the monster to be big enough that your players will hesitate jumping into a straight fight, and start thinking about more creative solutions.

Group Support

• Player buy-in

If you're going to be changing your game away from the base 5e, you may be changing it away from the expectations of your group.  Talk to them about this potential change, get their input.

Caution them that parley gameplay isn't always more satisfying, and requires more effort from both the DM and the players.

Adventure Design

• Get used to players "skipping" combats
• Use factions

5e is built around keystone combat encounters.  Are you comfortable with your players bypassing them?

And parley gameplay is closely linked to faction play.  If most of the enemies in your dungeon aren't linked together, consider replacing the encounters with monsters that are linked (speak the same language, have the same goals, know each other).

Tasha's Cauldron of Everything

Don't use the parley rules in Tasha's.  They're terrible.  

The list was constructed without any thought for how it fits into the game.  Most of the items are trivially simple "the tale of a heroic figure" or an entire side adventure "the crown of a defeated tyrant".

Monsters should desire things that are (a) difficult/painful to grant, but at least immediately possible, and (b) linked to the current situation at hand.

As a list of potentially interesting encounters, though, it's not bad. Treants that want you to break your axes, sun-proofing a mausoleum for an undead, etc.