embroidered with flowers and grasses and trees

It was dry while we were away, then rained the day we returned.

Agnes Martin said: 'when your eyes are open you see beauty in anything'
I see beauty in the poplar suckers in the lawn, and in the tangled flower beds

 fairy trees all over

I have experienced beauty before
in nature, in love, in art.

Something unexpected, like returning home to this fairy land,
recalls the inner happiness of those experiences,
those inner perfect moments as Agnes Martin would call them.

I am overwhelmed by some perfect remembered beauty
triggered by this greenness all around me.

I had a wonderful road trip with Ned.
I truly connected with people, deep conversations, lots of small talk.
Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Quebec

my journal entry july 16:
'you should read your own blog and remind yourself about what you think'
 Penny told me last night

I was nearly normal for almost a month

Now back home, I am beginning to feel inspired again
I read a Mary Gaitskill novel
I listen to the National, loving the lyrics

It is hard for me to be close to people and to hear my heart at the same time.
I create ways to keep them at a distance.  mary gaitskill

I took a photo of myself in the clover to show how it is taller than me

standing like a mountain
standing at a door
in the centre, yet on the edge

I walk through the green lushness
and am reminded to stay empty

the future is a blank page

more images of this embroidery here

let me keep my mind on what matters, which is my work
which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished
Mary Oliver

raw march

I've been working with raw edges this winter.

I've been using the big table.  Wider than most, it can also expand lengthwise.  When Ned was a boy, his father used to get him to crawl underneath this table to see the craftsman's mark.

The two pieces in this post are for the exhibition in October.   Most of the pieces for the show are connected by their process.  First, they were wrecked and then they were mended.  Putting them together is filling nearly all my time during these raw months.

I like doing them at home.

Gaston Bachelard said that the chief benefit of the house is that it shelters daydreaming.
To be human we have thoughts and we have experiences.
Mostly, though, what makes us human are our daydreams
and daydreams are very different from dreams.

Space is more important than time for the unconscious.

One of the reasons I like to work in a large scale is that it gives my viewers the space to daydream.

time or place?

This moment in my timeline - post Mended World exhibition - post degree - post studio

I am trying to find the correct road and place myself on it. 

I'm working at home: 
kitchen studio - desk, light, pin wall, storage
upper bedroom studio - thinking space, work table, pin wall, books, journals, fabric storage
living room studio -viewing pin wall, reading space, good natural light for hand stitching
dye studio - downstairs laundry room, upstairs kitchen sink and stove
works on paper studio - the lower bedroom has my studio work tables now
business office - computer desk, closet, file boxes
storage - flat file, cupboards and closets within the house, boxes under beds

I say to myself:  What's more important?  TIME or PLACE?
Even if I don't have a special place anymore, I still have TIME.
I will work three hours a day with no interruptions AS IF I was in my studio.
three hours.
experimentally
towards a new body of work
without a road

Fall Home

 I am feeling blank, yet excited.  Everywhere I look I am thrilled with possibility.  Each book, each piece of cloth I come across - everything inspires me.   

 Earlier this year I threw away many mis-starts and told myself to just focus. (The idea that I only have twenty years left to create haunts).

Hand piecing 6" blocks, making sketch after sketch about how they may be used.  Soon, I'll know.

"Say to yourself:  'I am going to work in order to see myself and free myself.  When I see myself in the work I will know that this is the work I am supposed to do.  I will not have time for other people's problems.  I will have to be by myself almost all the time.  It will be a quiet life.' "  Agnes Martin 

welcomed

 Almost the first thing I noticed upon arrival at home was this second blooming of the Christmas amaryllis 

there in the window sill .  then I saw our bed with this quilt I made nearly 10 years ago, upside down on my half

title of quilt: husband and wife
see more of it here

no things

I told him:  I need to work.  I need a break.  I need to go to my studio.  I need to weed the garden.  I need to THINK. I need to be alone.  I need my design wall.

So I stayed back for a few days.  Home alone.

But there is so much STUFF.  Too many books to read, too many projects to finish, too many clothes to wear.  Too many new ideas. Is it possible to have too many ideas?

I am not able to get them all into their own reality fast enough. And sketches lead into more sketches.  I have been stitching a lot, but can't show it here yet.