What happens when you end the session in the Mega Dungeon

Staying in any megadungeon when playing a drop-in game is a risky enterprise (cuz sheeeet, I dunno if you are gonna show to play in a week or three months sometimes, ya crazy IRL players). Your character has to try and find their way safe and sound back to base.

Roll a die based on the judge’s surmization* of what the party make-up is looking like. Rolling low is good.

Party is fine, they have a well-thought route back: d16     
Party is a little worn down, deep, or laden: d20    
Party is low on HP or supplies, is carrying heavy junk, or lost: d24

Party is ragged, hunted, or pissed off the gods: d30

So when it is time for you to roll, roll once and compare that roll to your ability scores. If half or more of your scores were rolled at/under with the die, then you are fine. If the majority of your scores were not rolled at/under, we got a problem. 

Determine randomly among the failed-against scores, what will be your downfall and consult the below table:

Failed score            Problem (fumbles are rolling the highest number on the die)

• STR                Nearly starved on your way out. Ration needs doubled next outing. 
  
  Fumble: d4 STR dmg too, hungry Hank. 
  
  
  
• DEX                You dropped something, determined at random, down a hole. Fumble: whole pack! 
  
  Fumble: An arch-enemy came across it.
  
  
  
• CON               Dungeon crud; start the next outing down half HP. 
  
  Fumble: Very bad crud. Save or die!
  
  
  
• INT                 You got lost in the dungeon. Each room entered has a 10% chance of having your PC (your responsibility to check; play a backup PC while searching). We have [your lost PC's level] sessions to find you. 
  
  Fumble: You are stuck in a trap, enslaved, or jailed and will have to be broken out.
  
  
  
• WIZ                You were robbed of something while unawares. A monster has it now. If it was your lucre, you don’t get XP for treasure until you get it back.
  
  Fumble: You also take the result of one more ability score failure, determined at random.
  
  
  
• CHA               You managed to piss off a faction. They know what you look like. 
  
  Fumble: Fatwa!

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*Look, maybe surmization is not a word, but surmise sounds weird as a noun, cromulent tho it may be, and judgement would have been redundant sounding in that sentence. I could have reworded it, but here we are.
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My DM Bugbears

This is a list of comments and things that constantly come up in my campaigns, sometimes cantankerously or contentiously so. I don't always get into them, cause RPG settings often win out due to being a bit of a buzz kill to shoot down.

1. I hate dark vision. You don’t get darkvision. You are supposed to be scared and afraid.
   Underworlders see in the dark cuz evil is metal AF.
   Permanent light sources should be rare. No rods of light without a catch.
   
   
2. Torches suck. Candles suck.
   Torches blind you. Candles flicker out and are dim.
   Torches are not so easy to just put together. You need stick, wick, and fuel.
   Advanced darkness is awesome tho. Now everything sucks like a candle.
   
   
3. "What class does the party need?"
   My sibling in Christ, the dice decide what your ability scores are, then you choose a class/species based on what you can make do with.
   
   
4. Clerics should worship all the gods, patrons, and saints that they can. 
   
   
5. Molotov oil flasks should not be a thing.
   I'm kinda open to high-proof alcohol and alchemy tho.
   
   
6. It's not easy to backstab in combat.
   It’s mostly about ambushes. If you check to creep or your fighter friend sets you up for the alley-oop, I'm down to clown.
   Backstabs should not be limited to the thievin classes.  
   
   
7. Orcs shouldn't have babies. BTW all dwarves are statues and elves are immortal in both directions.
   
   
8. "I hit him with the flat of my sword." If you knock out someone, you have just endangered their life. 
   Maybe I'd make an exception if we were playing a pulp, Hollywood-logic game.
   
   
9. Blacksmiths and merchants shouldn't hold much interest in purchasing used gear, except as scrap.
   This ain't Final Fantasy.
   
   
10. PCs should be constantly freaking out and making knee-jerk actions. 
    I think fumble rules help here. 
    You ever see someone try to shoo a bat out of their house? Now imagine it's them trying to deal with a spider the size of a doberman. 
    
    
11. "I aim at the one that is most hurt." 
    No you fucking don't. In the chaos of battle, you panic a bit and flail at the closest guy or, if you are really cool, one that not standing next your friend. 
    It's dark in here and everyone is dodging about. You are lucky you don't hit allies more often.
    When in doubt, I ask the dice who you attack. 
    Choosing slightly stabbed targets reeks of playing the game as a boardgame and munchkinism.
    
    
12. Locals should kinda hate you.
    You are grubby murder-hobos that are crazy enough to go into holes.
    You spend all your money carousing.
    You try to sell junk and are constantly trying to bargain up the price.
    You got those demi-human freaks with you. Demi-hyooms should be a rare spice, BTW.
    You never bathe.
    I'll make a bit of an exception in an isekai setting. 

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A Couple Shadowdark Roll20 Marcos

Was talking with a dude on Discord. They shared a couple things they made that take advantage of Roll20’s ability in recent years to embed outside images. So here is a macro for calling up some rules:

&{template:default} {{name=ShadowDark RPG Rules}} 

?{Choose Rule|

Actions,[image](https://i.imgur.com/M4rqmsd.png)|

Movement / Distance,[image](https://i.imgur.com/2BWQwpc.png)|

Spellcasting,[image](https://i.imgur.com/XMQz7Yz.jpeg)|

Spell Focus,[image](https://i.imgur.com/03UGujq.jpeg)|

Resting,[image](https://i.imgur.com/2aDStQg.png)|

Campfire,[image](https://i.imgur.com/HFZbY0d.jpeg)|

Gear Slots,[image](https://i.imgur.com/EZgEHIr.png)|

Dying,[image](https://i.imgur.com/qTzdPWL.png)|

Stats,[image](https://i.imgur.com/EPqFgAY.jpeg)|

Scrolls & Wands,[image](https://i.imgur.com/E7pnaF5.jpeg)|

Luck Tokens,[image](https://i.imgur.com/infolZn.jpeg)|

Penance,[image](https://i.imgur.com/EvFIfVj.png)|

(Core Rules) Weapon Properies,[image](https://i.imgur.com/IKNvxra.jpeg)| Fleeing,[image](https://i.imgur.com/cFEqLrq.jpeg)|

Weapon Properties,[image](https://i.imgur.com/7WDfivf.png)|

}

And here is one about the classes and advancing

&{template:default} {{name=ShadowDark RPG Rules}} 

?{Choose Rule|

Advancement,[image](https://i.imgur.com/sAShKac.jpeg)|

Fighter Class,[image](https://i.imgur.com/mgV3YAG.png)|

Priest Class,[image](https://i.imgur.com/RZuHX9a.png)|

Priest Spell Table,[image](https://i.imgur.com/sKPMT5l.jpeg)|

Thief,[image](https://i.imgur.com/iSlMcOB.png)|

Wizard Class,[image](https://i.imgur.com/KGY2HF7.png)|

Wizard Talents & Spell Table,[image](https://i.imgur.com/AIGmLaa.jpeg)|

Carousing,[image](https://i.imgur.com/skvn0Ux.png)|

} 

Test em out. Report in the comments if broken.

If you wanna throw the creator some fava beans, you could buy this from them. They don’t have a blog.

If you want a free, clever, browser-based light timer thing I made for Shadowdark torch timing, go to this post.

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Let's Get Some Butts in the Seats

I mainly made this to advertise my online games when I'm gathering lost souls on Discord. I plan to run Shadowdark or Black Pudding, and DCCRPG Thracia. Incidentally, my email is down there if anyone wants to inquire about joining a game (Friday and Saturday evenings in the US times). 

I think Russ Nicholson, JV West, and Junji Ito will help get eyes on the things. 

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Making Your D&D Game Fookin Metal

 

Image from Thieve's World

Chaos vs Authority
Both sides don't give rip about the little people. It's a crapsack world, and the points of light left in it are established by oligarchs that desire to enslave and crush everyone because their god is Mammon. 

Demons whisper sweet seductions about taking down the rich, but their wanton means cause everyone to suffer in the end. Should the PCs manage to take down the rulers, they will likely become the thing that they hate or destroy the world. Then the next batch of PCs get to take on the old ones. Anything more metal than killing your past self?!

Look up Michael Moorcock for inspiration on this and countless other things in this post.

 

Monstrous Monsters
Make things that the PCs will fear and high five over somehow slaying. Buggers with eyes in the wrong places. Undead that spread their curse with their tainted claws. Aliens that gestate in your blood. Don't send in goblins*, send in something the players have never seen before.

The worst monster is man though. Give the PCs lots of leather-clad, spiked out agents of dark lords and demons to mow through.  Give plenty of them demonic alterations to show their alignment to weird, inhuman powers. See mutants, below.

 

Kick the Puppy, Run over the Kid
Nobody is safe in Metal World. That animal companion? Blat! That unicorn you befriended with rations? Head-shot! And children, won't somebody please think of the children?

In the original Toxic Crusader, they run over an innocent kid. Everyone wants to see the villains suffer after that. Make your players into holy avengers.

 

Mutants mutants mutants
I just think they're neat. Seed each adventure with at least one thing that will alter a PC's mind, soul, or body. Have the majority of the things have upside. Have a lot of them be mixed blessings. I wanna see your campaign turn into Gwar. Let's get your PC to bite off the head of the richest man in the world. 

Don't forget to throw mutants at your players too. Mutated people, freaked out animals, biblically-accurate angels. Keep it weird, and perverted. 

 

Guns
Bring guns into your game somehow. Uzis and ray-guns. Look to Fallout New Vegas for inspiration here. Baddies constantly have guns in an ideal elf game, and the PCs are gonna want them. Shoot them down for their avarice! 

How do the guns get in here? A wizard did it. I wanna show you a little trick mom taught me while you weren't around.

Be sure to use friendly fire rules too. You missed the baddie? When you definitely shot one of your buds fighting right next to it for exploding d12 damage. 

 

Behemoths
Big monsters show up to devastate the world. Harbingers... uh harbinge them! Prophesies of the end times are metal. Scaling a giant horror is metal. Fighting its immune system is metal. Giving it an aneurysm by blowing up an artifact in its brain is metal. Boss battles should feel like album covers come to life.

Epic Mounts
Give the PCs something crazy to ride. Dinosaurs with laser eyes. Human centipedes. That thing from the cover of the Heavy Metal movie. Flying is usually better, but sometimes a humble velociraptor or blond oast will do. 

 

Valhalla
You can either get crushed by plague or wars at home or go out there and seize the world by the throat, dying a glorious death. GMs, look for opportunities to give PCs a righteous end while doing something epic. Then ride a Valkyrie (epic mount) to the next crystal sphere.

Macguffins should be awesome, but come at great cost. The one ring has inspired a lot of metal. Strap a nuke to my head, I'll knock the smegger to oblivion! 

Crit Tables and Stakes
I wanna see you mangled. I want you leaving your friend behind to die because they can't walk and the spider-people are coming. Use crit tables like the ones at Winds of Chaos (I need to work on a non-warhammer version of those). Or I think Arnold K or Cavegirl or somebody made some good injury tables for when you run out of HP. Let the blood splatter in the survivor's faces.

On the other hand, don't forget to give your players metal damage moments too. "How do you want to do this?!" should be on your lips constantly, as they plow through their foes. 

 

Metal Albums and Songs are your inspiration
Get ideas for scenarios, spells, and gods from metal sources. I once wrote an RPG that was full of Dio songs. Ride the tiger! Hooah!

 

Dark Gods
Gods are Lovecraftian cancers on reality. They want your fealty. You are a plaything. If you encounter the Buddha on the road, cut him down! Leave the lawful clerics on the cutting room floor, or make them realize they serve the worst version of the fire and brimstone gods that are very angry at mankind.

 

(Tim Curry intensifies) SsSpAcE!
Get cosmic. The universe is full of dead titans and lurking horrors. Get the PCs onto strange planets and into horrific dimensions. Make space as scary as that dumb Event Horizon was supposed to be.

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* Goblinslayer gobbos get a pass, but you'd better have a session zero about the content there, bud. Gore is one thing, what those goblins do in episode one is a whole thing.

Share good posts with good goblins. Claytonian at the gmails.

Shadowdark torch timer that lives in your URL bar

Oh boy, another bookmarklet. 

This one puts a timer in the URL bar, at the end of it, and counts down, then alerts you when torches are going out. 

Visually, it plays nice with an open Roll20 tab.

 

 

First, try the 3 second version.

 

Satisfied it's working? Try the hour version. Drag it to your bookmarks bar for later use.

 

All good? Then try the LOST version for shits and giggles.

Bonus link: Advanced Darkness 

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GOZR Adventure Generator Bookmarklet

Let the java flow. Check out the GOZR category on this blog for more generators, including a gooz extractor and a monster maker. 

GOZVENTURES

Click this or drag it to your bookmarks toolbar. Fuckin use it with any D&Ds.

This one includes symbols from what appears to be a draft page that was never used in the final GOZR RPG. The symbols give good ideas.   Let's look at a sample output:

SEED: Awakening ENEMY: Wizard LOCATION: Mountain / Manse THING: Spellbook / Sorcerous orb COMPLICATION: Earthquake NPC: Cult leader TASK: Kill SYMBOL: Fish MONSTERS: Killer cats TREASURE: Frivolous Junk (7.2) Dice

So there is a creepy Innsmouth-looking wizard in a harbor-side cliff manor. He serves a Dagon-like entity and keeps his pet killer cats fed well with fish. He has started to cause earthquakes that are spreading the waters of the rivers that run through Gooz city's canals. A cultist of a rival god takes an interest in this and recruits the PCs to take care of it by stealing the wizard's Orb of Quakes (an egg from Shmagon's own sack). As the PCs make their way towards their objective quakes drop buildings and gangs taking advantage of the chaos get in their way.

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