Popular reviews

• 

  Review by Adrian ☕🥐 ★★★★½ 2

  Four Senses - Diary of a Sensual Woman is a 4.000.000€ self-financed (and never released) passion project by Rüdiger von Spies, the man behind the distribution company VPS video. Besides producing the German dub for Night of the Living Dead (I assume the remake) he apparently had no real experience in actual film production. In the 2010s he, with the help of Ulli Lommel, made his film a reality. According to the Cannes poster it sets out to invent a new genre. And the introduction yesterday also leads one to believe that this thing was meant to be taken seriously. However, the outcome is one of the most unintentionally funny movies I've seen in a while. Let's put it that way: if this was publicly available, it might have the chance to become a cult phenomenon in the vein of The Room. It's that entertainingly bad.

• 

  Review by TerribleMiasma ★★★

  A four million dollar, Ulli Lommel produced, ultimately never-released chunk of romance insanity directed by some 80s video mogul that incalculably wobbles from a Damsel in Distress scenario to a lump of structureless hangout movie, community theater mésalliance piece, and Fifty Shades of Grey – and after a certain point just keeps on going and going, including a serial killer side quest, a particularly drippy coda in Italy, and a played-straight scene in which the protagonist presents his blind lover a piece of shit picked off the street on a silver platter as the climax to a smelling parkour.
  Full score on the scale for in-depth outlandishness; really one of those films that makes you wonder how any of the people involved can function in normal life.

• 

  Review by AlexLinden ★★★★½

  In search of the lost fifth sense, produced by Ulli Lommel.

• 

  Review by Krautsalat ★★★★½

  STUC @ Rausch 2023: Film #5

  Have you ever wondered why there aren't any sex scenes in mainstream pictures anymore? This is why.

• 

  Review by dirtylaundri ★★★★½

  Film history remains a land of wonders. So there's this guy, who made a fortune selling film rights in the vhs era, and then, years later, he wants to be a director, too, and he pours everything he ever wanted to say about women and sex and the spiritual meaning of life (i.e. women and sex) into one single project ... and then he finds the one producer in the world, Ulli Lommel, who lets him realize his vision without any compromise, without any concession to common sense or the way films are supposed to be made. And then he organizes a screening in Cannes and of course no one wants to touch this beautiful, crypto-sexy mess with a ten inch pole, so it takes a few maniacs to revive the whole thing years later in a magical Berlin night.

• 

  Review by cinejw ★★★★★

  5 Sterne, aber aus Notwehr.

• 

  Review by Nicole ½

  this was the longest movie of my goddamn life. it was also terrible and i hated almost every second of it. we only watched it bc mr. somner was in it. 

  very cringey and problematic and this was my fav quote:
  mark: *spanks her with a stick* 
  julia: “ouch!”
  mark: “oh c’mon, there’s not even a red spot, it didn’t hurt!” 

  cappezallo✨

  would give this 0 starts but it had some funny quotes even tho they were v problematic