NOVA Gothic -A list of 20 creepy/weird/terrifying things about life in Northern Virginia

 

Like many other states, Virginia has a split identity. The Western and Southern regions are largely rural and agricultural, but the Northern regions have been overrun by suburbs of  Washington DC. Which may sound innocuous, but as someone who's lived in the NOVA area for most of their lives, I can attest to the fact that it's not all wine and roses, man-made lakes and big box stores. Here's a partial list of some of the unnerving aspects of living in NOVA - some a little silly, otherwise legitimately terrifying:  

1. You’ve never seen a bear/wolf/bobcat in your neighborhood, but you know someone who has.
2. Suiting up like Mad Max for a trip to the grocery store before any snowstorm expected to deposit more than 2.”
3. Local radio stations run ads for global weapons systems.
4. No one questions your 60-minute daily commute to the adjacent suburb.
5. That guy throwing something into a trash at the local park could be discarding harmless picnic scraps ... or they could be a spy making a dead drop.
6. Paying as much for a house as other people might spend to purchase their own private Caribbean Island.
7. Helicopters have been circling for over an hour. No one notices.
8. Neighbor down the way, when asked what they do for a living, answers in the vaguest way: “I’m a civil servant.”
9. Potentially living next to (or on top of) the unmarked graves of Civil War soldiers.
10. Our most insidious invasive species isn’t kudzu, it’s McMansions.
11. Government shutdowns are existential crises.
12. Fire drills? Earthquake drills? Try nuclear attack drills.
13. Is it a road improvement project, or are they installing yet another secret underground bunker? 
14. HOAs with more power than some third-world governments.
15. Every day, the data server farms creep a little closer to your home.
16. Our local competitive sport isn’t high school football … it’s school board meetings.
17. Pairing business suits with tennis shoes or flip flops is socially acceptable.
18. Local roads with 10 lanes.
19. Helicopter dog parents.
20. Stars? Apparently they’re a real thing, but no one’s ever actually seen them thanks to the 24/7 glare of traffic lights, LED-illuminated retail signage, and office buildings with all the lights left on overnight.

100+ Things That Scare Us - an Alphabetical List of All Things Creepy, Spooky, and Horrible

In honor of Halloween, thought I'd assemble the following list of things that are generally considered to be unnerving or terrifying. Had to draw a line somewhere, so have left off weird phobias and gag answers - like "taxes." What follows is, I think, a fairly comprehensive list of the impedimenta that horror story/horror movie writers use to give us goosebumps. What have I missed? 

A- Abandoned buildings/places, acid, AI/sentient robots, aliens, alligators, amnesia, anthropomorphized objects, apocalypse, Armageddon, asteroids, asylums, attics, axes

B- Banshees, bats, bears, bedbugs, bees/killer bees, black cats, bloods, boogiemen, bridges, buried alive

C- Cannibalism, catacombs, cellars/basements, cemeteries/crypts, chain saws, chupacabras, circuses/carnivals, clowns, cobwebs, corpses, creepy children, crossroads, cults/secret societies, curses

D- Danse macabre, darkness, death/Grim Reaper, decapitation, decomposition, deja vu, demonic possession, demons/devils, dentists, dinosaurs, dolls, doppelgangers, dungeons

E- Earthquakes, enclosed spaces, eternity, evil eyes, exorcisms

F- Fires, flesh-eating bacteria, flying monkeys, fog/mist, fortunetellers/psychics, freezing, full moons, furries

G- Gargoyles, ghosts/poltergeists, ghost stories, ghouls, gnomes, goblins, golems, gravediggers/grave robbers

H- Hags/crones, Halloween/All Hallow's Eve/Samhain, hallucinations, hanging trees, haunted places (houses, castles, forests ....), hearses, heights/falling, Hell, hitchhikers, horror movies, human sacrifice

I- Icepicks, imaginary friends, insanity/mania, insects/bugs, insomnia

J- Jump scares (unexpected noises ....)

K- Knives, krakens, Krampus

L- Labyrinths/mazes (corn, topiary ...), leeches, leprechauns, levitation, locked-in syndrome

M- Mad scientists/doctors, magicians/illusionists, mannequins, masquerades, mirrors, monsters, mummies, mutations

N- Needles, nightfall, nightmares

O- Obsession/fanaticism, occult, ossuaries, oubliettes, Ouija boards

P- Paranoia, paranormal abilities (telekinesis ...), parasites, peeping Toms, pigs, pipe organs, piranha, pits/fissures, plagues/diseases, psychosis, puppets/marionettes, purgatory, pyromania

Q- Quicksand

R- Radiation/nuclear disaster, reincarnation, religious orders (monks, nuns ...), rodents, Russian roulette

S- Sacrilege, scalpals/razors, scarecrows, scorpions, seances, serial killers, shadows, sharks, skeletons/skulls, skin-changers, sleepwalking, space, spiders, spiritualists/mediums, snakes, stalkers, submarines, supernatural objects (monkey's paws, amulets, books, photographs ...), supervillains, swamps/bogs

T- Tarot cards, taxidermized animals, thunderstorms/thunder/lightning, tommyknockers, tornadoes, torture

U- Uncanny zone

V- Vampires, ventriloquist dummies, volcanoes/lava, voodoo, voodoo dolls, vultures

W- Wax dummies/wax museums, wells, wendigos, werewolves, witchdoctors, witches/warlocks, worms

Z- Zombies

Book Look: The White Devil, Justin Evans

For as long as I can remember I've been a sucker for gothic thrillers, especially those set at British boarding schools. There's so much potential there - the ancient school buildings, the fog-shrouded landscapes, the sense of history frozen in time, the wafting hint of repression and unnatural obsessions. Alas, despite all that potential, no example of the genre has ever lived up to my melodramatic expectations. Either they're so poorly written that it's an effort not to gag at the overworked metaphors and lame cliches, or else they devolve into a climax so anticlimactic and silly that I find myself thinking: "Really? I've read all this way, and that's all you've got?"

And then, finally, a book that delivers the goods! White Devil is a literate, well paced, dense ghost story with characters that engage, writing that absorbs, red herrings so intriguing you'll enjoy being led astray, and a plot that keeps tightening the tension until the final sentences of the story's wholly original, wholly satisfying, wholly creepy denouement.

The story revolves around Andrew Taylor, a 17yr old American boy exiled by his outraged parents to an exclusive English boarding School after scandal and a death force him to flee his school in Connecticut. But the ghosts he's left behind are nothing compared to the ghost waiting for him at Harrow School - a pallid, spectral lad whose soul remains bound to earth by 200-year old cruelties and jealousies. Now add to the mix a bitter, washed-up poet grasping at his last chance to redeem himself; an eerily beautiful but precocious female classmate; White Devil, a bloody revenge tragedy authored by the troubled 19th century playwright John Webster; and rehearsals for a production of the life of the beautiful, scandalous, haunted Lord Byron (a Harrow School alumnus), to whom Andrew bears an uncanny resemblance ... set it all in an ancient boarding school complete with petty (and not so petty) adolescent cruelty, secrets concealed behind crumbling stone, and a string of mysterious deaths that begin soon after Andrew's arrival at Harrow ... stir vigorously, and enjoy losing yourself in a tale that is sure to keep you enthralled until the final paragraphs.

Props to Justin Evans, whose bio reveals no particular literary credentials, for producing this literate gothic thriller. It's not easy to produce extreme characters that don't come off as sterotypical, to create mood/atmosphere that doesn't come off as stagy, to construct a plot so dense that the story never stops delivering chills, and to resist the urge to wrap up the story with a full and pat disclosure that explains all. Evans writes with the mastery of language and assurance of a pro. How fortunate that the idea for this story fell into the hands of someone able to make the most of it!