When it’s “punching up” to pretend the other gender’s loneliness crisis is self-imposed

Maybe the problem truly is with capitalism in that the nature of consensual sex relies on a supply-demand dynamic.

Everything shared is fair, but maybe instead it would be better for this kind of guy to not get married and find an aligned sex partner. I dunno. Like, it kinda feels like author’s saying men should intentionally develop an attraction to their partners, and that seems a little LessWrong-y to me. Also feel a connection to Doyle, “Wife Guy.”

One commenter, @jessumsica, puts it best:

There are men who like women and men who like to fuck women. You’ve got to find the middle of the Venn diagram.

via: https://thingofthings.substack.com/p/three-cheers-for-the-tomboy-chaser

I would like to believe there is something purposeful, resistant, even radical in the heterofatalist mode, but the more I voice it, the more I am inclined to agree with Seresin that it can produce nothing but more of itself. “Heterosexuality is nobody’s personal problem,” he writes. “It doesn’t make sense to extricate your own straight experience from straightness as an institution.” It isn’t that my friend needs to find “some other way to live”; it’s that we all do. But instead of looking for it, we disaffected women “perform” for one another this mutually enabling kind of maintenance, periodically off-gassing some of the shame and frustration of dating men and then chugging along with the status quo.

At first I thought was going to be some pseudo-feminist drivel. but then it turned out to be quite honest and vulnerable. In a sense, it does a good job of summarizing much of what I learned about gender in 2025. Introduces the concept of “heterofatalism.”

You have to balance the risk of accidentally sexually harassing someone against the benefits of asking people out—to you and to the people that you’re asking out. Most of the time, the benefits are larger.

Equal parts hilarious and quite serious. Applicable even for me, an aroallo. Will save this for grad school.

sometimes i wish i wasnt aroace but not because i actually want to date anyone its just because the structure of society makes it rly hard to be single😭

From a polyamorous person

Sometimes people say, “obviously, everyone would like to be polyamorous themselves and get to have sex with anyone they want, while their partners are all monogamous and only have sex with them. That way, you get sexual variety and don’t have to feel any jealousy.” I think this is completely false.

and there’s a lot of monogcycle accidents